Chapter Text
A few of the league members were having a casual get together to celebrate the new members that had joined. Whilst many were still sad that Batman had refused their invite once again, they were happy he was still helping them at least. He had even said he was thinking of joining soon! So in the lounge sat Clark, Diana, Hal, Barry and their two new members. Black canary and Green arrow, Dinah and Ollie. Ollie had tried multiple times throughout the afternoon to flirt, until finally she had said to his face she wasn’t interested in dating her coworkers. He had then migrated to join Barry and Hal on one of the couches, the three of them getting along like a house on fire. Ollie had been pretty quick to reveal his identity to them so they felt no need to hide their own.
The topic eventually switched to what the leaguers each thought of each other. All shouting about their first impressions and how they thought they each presented themselves.
“I used to think big blue here was the epitome of the perfect saviour. You never got mad or anything. Being in the league with you was… humanizing” Clark gave Hal a slight smile. He still felt alienated most days, praised as the perfect saviour whilst yelled at for being an alien on a human world. So for someone he was starting to consider a friend calling him human? He was tearing up a little.
“When I first met you I thought you were cocky and abrasive.” Hal nodded at Barry, waiting for him to continue. The speedster instead took an extended sip of the fizzy drink in his hand. After a few seconds it clicked for the pilot.
“Now hold on a second!” The two of them descended into petty squabbling as Ollie called out bets on who he thought might win. He changed his mind every three seconds so either way he would probably lose. As the trio descended into chaos the door opened and in glided the league's resident cryptid.
“Batman! Come join us for team bonding with our newest members.” Batman turned to stare blankly at Clark for a moment before huffing and approaching, seating himself as far away from the now brawling trio as he could. Dinah eyed Batman for a moment before leaning over to Diana.
“I wasn't aware Batman was part of the Justice league.” Diana glanced over at Batman, the man being assaulted by Clark's cheerful greetings and nonsense Midwestern pleasantries. He seemed to have gone completely still, statuesque even, like a corpse. She turned back to Dinah, satisfied that he wouldn't overhear them despite being barely 5ft away.
“Batman is not an official member of the league. He did however secure a steady source of funding and agreed he will join at a later date.” Dinah nodded, both women turning to watch Batman's soul slowly leave his body with each further word Clark spoke. One of them was about to step in and help him when Hal yelled from the couch, face pressed down into the cushions as Barry sat atop him triumphantly. Ollie was strangely missing. Oh never mind his foot was poking out just there, he had been shoved between the couch and the wall.
“Hey Batsy, we were talking about first impressions. No thinking, just first thing that comes to mind, opinion on big blue boyscout over there.” Everyone froze, silence so prominent you would hear a pin drop.
Nobody was prepared for what the man said, the single word he spoke that caused panic for many in all kinds of ways. Batman, the dark Knight, living shadows and (possible) vampire. Barely a second passed before Batman was opening his mouth and uttering that single word. Nobody breathed.
“Scrumptious.” The word was breathed out, not in the gravelly Bat voice they had all slowly gotten used to, but in a sultry yet rich tone. Sickly sweet like honey and just as addictive.
A loud clang was heard as Superman's head collided with the table he sat at. Everyone, Bat included, turned to stare at Clark. Only his ears could be seen from where he had decided to bury his face in the now crumbling metal, and both were a bright flaming red. Batman seemed confused at everyone's sudden silence and stood up with his usual smooth grace.
“If that is all I simply came to check some league files for a case.” And he glided out of the room as if he hadn’t just left a mental bomb in his wake. For several blessed seconds there was silence, then the pandemonium started. Hal practically faceplanted as he wriggled his way out from under Barry to try to get closer to Clark, the speedster getting off at the last second to pull Olli out from where he had managed to wedge himself further down between wall and couch.
“Oh my god, is he going to eat you? Or maybe he is trying to hint he prefers extraterrestrial blood?” Hal floated his way over to Clark, wide grin on his face despite the slight worry in his tone. Both women at the table raised an eye at each other before turning to stare as well. Clark muttered something into the table that the others couldn’t hear before he raised his face, showing off the incredible red that seemed to cover every inch of visible skin. Thank god Martian Manhunter wasn’t here or he would have been assaulted like a brick to the face with the sudden split second of filth that was travelling through almost everyone’s mind at Batman’s voice. Hal leaned in closed, hand at his ear as he spoke again, tone now syrupy sweet. “Sorry what was that Clark? I didn’t catch that over your obvious teen crush.”
Clark’s mouth opened and closed a few times before he glanced over at Diana, wide eyes pleading for her to do something. Diana, the traitor, simply smiled at him and sat back. If the lasso on her hip happened to brush up against the man’s leg as she readjusted her seat that was nobodies business but her own. With a defeated sigh Clark turned a weak glare to Hal.
“I said I wouldn't mind Batman getting his teeth on me so long as I get a taste in return.” Hal nearly fell as his concentration wavered at the sudden filthy confession from Superman, big blue boyscout and puppy dog like hero. The man’s eyes widened more than before before he quickly glanced down and noticed Diana’s leg gently pressing the lasso of truth against his leg. Diana glanced down and covered her smile, pretending to be surprised.
“Oh I apologise Clark, my mistake.” She quickly moved her leg away so she was no longer pressing their knees together. Olli and Barry’s wheezing laughter could be heard form the other side of the room as the archer was finally able to crawl out from where he had been stuck, doubled over as they tried to breathe through their hysterics. Clark’s blush came back full force.
“I uhh, there’s an issue in Romania i think i’ll go help with okthenbye!” And with his rushed excuse Clark flew out of the room so fast the wind whipped the few loose papers onto the floor. Leaving behind the wheezing trio and grinning women.
Bruce was exhausted. A new rogue by the moniker of ‘Scarecrow’ had created a syrum that made people see a threat in everything. Higher doses even led to auditory hallucinations that ranged from haunted screams to sudden noises. Bruce had managed to get clipped by the man’s scythe at the end just as he was bringing him to Arkham, which was apparently coated in this liquid, leading to Bruce hearing senseless whispers. But he could ignore it at this level, those Tibetan Monks had practically beaten mindfulness into him. Mind over body and all that nonsense. But he didn’t even have the luxury of resting after such a grueling few hours as he had a Gala to attend. A Gala he himself had organised so he couldn’t even show up fashionably late as he had to greet guests.
Then came the mental gymnastics of still acting as Brucie Wayne, Gotham billionaire and rich part boy, whilst maintaining enough sense that the city would allow him to keep Dick in his care. It was a very fine line he was toeing that night that was made all the harder by the sound of dripping blood, frantic clawing and pained sobbing behind him every now and then. The new scarecrow toxin not seeming to weaken despite the many hours Bruce spent schmoozing the Gotham upper crust for their money towards his newest charity scheme.
Finally he was considered appropriately ‘intoxicated’ and could escape in the early hours of the morning, sunlight starting to stream through the large windows in the ballroom. But there was no rest for Bruce, he had a case and his mind would not stop until he had all the clues. So down to the basement Bruce went, donning his armour and breathing a sigh as he fitted the mask into place. The rigid material hiding the occasional flinch as feminine whispers turned to masculine screams to ‘stop don’t touch them.’ Taking a moment to allow the screams to fade back into the background Bruce hopped into the Batwing, (Yes Bruce, everything is Bat themed so it HAS to be Batwing), and soon he was on the short flight to Mount Justice. Leather creaking as he gripped the controls hard enough to hurt to ignore the sounds that muttered just out of his peripherals.
When he arrived and walked into the main room he froze for a split second. The room was filled with a few leaguers as well as the two new members. Shit he forgot that was today. Mental note, scarecrow toxin impaired memory. Bruce continued, praying that he could make it to the main console in the other room without someon-
“Batman! Come join us for team bonding with our newest members.” Bruce stopped walking and turned to stare at Clark, his bright smile making his resolve crumble. Oh well Alfred kept calling them his friends he may as well try be… friendly. With a slight huff of amusement Bruce sat beside Clark, eyeing the brawling trio and almost smiling as he watched Hal suplex Olli between the couch and wall head first. The man wiggled a bit to escape but only managed to get himself further stuck. Bruce didn’t even realise he was relaxing until the fear gripped his lungs and froze him in place.
Nails clawing on wet brick, the sound of someone choking on their own blood. A gunshot and then the faint clinking of pearls as they scattered, their wearer falling to the floor with a pained wheeze. Batman’s body went rigid and he quickly defaulted to his previous mindset. Channelling all his Brucie Wayne cheer to mentally beat back the phantom feel of fingers gently brushing against his cheek. He was snapped from his mild panic attack by Hal Jordan’s obnoxious voice.
“Hey Batsy, we were talking about first impressions. No thinking, just first thing that comes to mind, opinion on big blue boyscout over there.” Now Bruce was a smart man, but after nearly 3 days of no sleep and the weighing mental exhaustion of his trauma dragging his mind further and further into a dangerous mindset, as well as having just spent the last 9 hours pretending to be bumbling fool Brucie, he hadn’t quite shaken the drunk playboy mask. So his mouth responded automatically before he could really think it over.
“Scrumptious.” He spoke not with his Bat growl but the breathy flirty sex-now voice that he had trained his public persona to have. He hadn’t even realised his mistake until the loud clank and shaking of the table his hands were resting on registered in his half-asleep mind. He glanced over at Clark, Superman, face a few inches deep in the metal table he was seated in front of. Everyone in the room was frozen, the only sound being the crumbling of metal when Bruce realised Clark had also gripped his chair just a little too hard and shattered the armrest.
With no other way of joking his way out of it he did the next best thing, tactical retreat. (No it was not running away.) He stood up, managing to do so despite the slight head rush and pins and needles in his legs. He would have to check if he had finished synthesising an antidote to this toxin, losing control of his limbs would be concerning.
“If that is all I simply came to check some league files for a case.” Then without another word he made his way back the way he came, files be damned. He was halfway down the hall when he heard the explosion of noise from the room he’d just escaped. Sighing Bruce got into the Batwing and quickly turned back towards Gotham. After a few seconds of deliberation he opened the security feed for the room. He may as well see what they’re saying to make sure he hadn’t broken his, admittedly impromptu, cover of being a vampire.
Five minutes later Bruce wished he wasn’t so nosy and had simply ignored them and not watched the aftermath.