Chapter Text
November 8th
Sam helps me out of the car of the week, and my stitches tug at the movement of my torso, the burning pain causing me to wince with any activation of my abs. He continues to support me into Welch’s house and down to my room. He helps me sit on my bed, then removes my shoes. I crawl under the covers and slowly lay down the way the physical therapist showed me, yet my cut still screams as my ab muscles flex. Sam pulls out my array of medications and sits them on my nightstand. I smile to myself at how sweet he is.
He stands next to my bed and caresses my cheek.
"Do you want me to stay??"
I put on my best puppy eyes. "Please??"
He chuckles. "Of course."
He makes his way over to the other side of the bed, then kicks off his boots. I curl up next to him and breathe in my favorite smell, his cologne. He gently rubs my back. The simple things make me feel safe around him.
“Hey, Sam??” He hums in response. “Thank you.”
He huffs out a laugh. “For what??”
“Taking care of me.”
I can hear the smile in his voice as he replies: “Of course, anything for my girl.”
It feels like my heart stops for a moment. My girl.
I don’t say anything in return; I just scoot closer to Sam and nuzzle into his shoulder a little. The warmth radiating from him soothes the ache in my torso, and my muscles can finally relax. I am exactly where I belong: enveloped in the warmth and safety of Sam’s embrace.
I drift off to sleep as the exhaustion sets in. Sam just holds me and drifts off as well.
—
When I wake up, I'm lying on my pillow, and Sam is gone. I slowly sit up, having to bite my lip to stifle a cry when the intense burning pain spreads across my torso. I very slowly get to my feet, using the edge of my bed for support. Very slowly and very carefully, I make my way upstairs. I pause at the top of the stairs, stifling a groan at the gnawing ache enveloping my torso.
Everyone is hanging out in the kitchen, idly munching on the snacks that are spread across the island. Rhys and Fawn are sitting on the barstools, laughing at whatever story Jason is telling. Nash, Lucas, and Dean are all talking together, their hands occasionally digging into bags of chips or the plate of veggies that’s near them. Sam and Welch are off to the side, having what looks to be a serious conversation.
Welch, who’s facing me, notices my presence before Sam and does a double take when he finally looks up. His eyes widen, and he rushes over to me.
"What the hell do you think you're doing??" He asks me, a firm yet caring tone in his voice.
Instantly, everyone goes quiet and stares at me and Welch. Welch bends down slightly and wraps an arm around me for support.
"Sam was gone when I woke up and I heard talking, so I came to investigate," I say, wincing a little as I walk. “I’m also kinda hungry.”
Sam rushes over to us, taking my other side.
"You're supposed to be in bed. Resting. Not up wandering around," he says, almost scolding me.
I can’t help but laugh at the serious look on his face.
"I’m not running a 5k; I just want to be here with you guys."
Sam shoots me another concerned look and helps me as I shuffle towards the island. He pulls out a stool, and I carefully sit on it, wincing as a stitch tugs.
"So, what’d I miss??" I ask, shifting in my seat, trying to find a comfortable position.
Sam watches me, the worry emanating from him nearly palpable.
"We were just talking about the menu for Thanksgiving,” Rhys says with a smile.
“Tyler is coming,” Fawn blurts, causing Rhys to punch her in the arm.
“What??!!” I exclaim, nearly jumping out of my seat before Sam’s hand grabs my arm to stop me. I grunt a little as the cut stings with the sudden movement.
“Nash is bringing Dallas!!” Rhys says, deflecting attention from her.
I gape at Nash. “Who’s Dallas??”
“Lucas is proposing to Hailey!!”
Lucas whips around. “I’m gonna fucking kill you.”
“Holy shit, I’m way out of the loop,” I mutter to Fawn, who laughs.
Her siblings glare at her and her laughter comes to an abrupt halt, her face falling.
Nothing says “Happy Thanksgiving” like sibling drama.
After lunch, we all retreat to the living room, where Fawn catches me up on everything.
Rhys and Tyler have been dating for what seems like forever, making their relationship official in 2004, the year after I moved in. He’s been here for Thanksgiving a few times, but it’s been about 6 years since she’s invited him, since Lucas and Jason teased him endlessly the last time he was here.
Nash apparently met Dallas at a bar a couple of years ago, when I was hunting on my own to try and run from the grief of my parents' deaths. Dallas is an ICU nurse in Kansas City, where she lives with a dog named Colby and her best friend from college. According to Fawn, Nash and Dallas are very cute together and she thinks Dallas may be the perfect girl for Nash. She rides motorcycles and has her grandads old Bronco that she’s been working on in her free time. She also loves sports and they’ve been to a few KC Royals games together.
Lucas and Hailey are high school sweethearts, meeting through mutual friends. She and Lucas alternate whose family they spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with to keep it fair, but about 3 years ago, Hailey’s sister got married, and she started to spend every Thanksgiving with us to avoid the constant questioning of when her and Lucas are getting married. She’s perfect for Lucas and it’s hard to miss how happy they make each other. She works in Kansas City at one of the biggest law firms in Missouri. She’s a consultant for multiple high-profile, multi-billion-dollar corporations, known as one of the best lawyers in the Midwest. She’s super badass, and I’ve always been jealous of her confidence.
Once I’m all caught up, we talk about the exciting things I’ve been doing since the last time I visited. We laugh about random things, and I cherish every moment I have with my chosen siblings.
During a lull in the conversation, I feel a tap on my shoulder. When I look up, Sam is standing over me, one of his hands closed around something and the other holding a water bottle.
“Med time,” he says quietly, passing me the pills.
I take the water bottle from him and quickly swallow down the pills.
Sam sits on the armrest of the couch, right next to me. I lay my head against his thigh, and he runs his fingers through my hair.
“You ok??” He asks, lightly scratching my scalp with his fingertips.
“Yeah, I’m great.”
..
~Sam~
Shortly after dinner, Bryn tells me she’s exhausted and is ready to go to bed. I help her downstairs, supporting her as she slowly takes the staircase one step at a time.
“Do you need help changing??” I ask, helping her sit on the edge of her bed.
“I think I’m ok, can you grab my pajamas for me??”
“Of course.”
She has me grab one of her dad’s old shirts from one drawer and a pair of stretchy shorts from another, and I step out of the room so she can change, staying just outside the door in case she needs help. She lets me know when she’s done, and I help her to the bathroom so she can brush her teeth.
Once she’s back in bed and is relatively comfortable, I start to get ready for bed myself. I crawl under the covers next to Bryn, who has already drifted off thanks to the pain meds she was prescribed. She wakes up a little when the bed dips under my weight, and her eyes open slightly.
“It’s just me,” I whisper. “Go back to sleep.”
She smiles and grabs my arm, rolling other her side away from me and dragging my arm across her as she goes. I laugh and follow her lead, pulling her back into my chest. I slide my other arm under her pillow and settle in behind her. She sighs happily, then her breathing evens out and deepens as she falls into a deeper sleep.
I nuzzle my face into her shoulder, breathing in the faint smell of her conditioner and the perfume that clings to her.
Honestly, I didn’t realize how much I missed Bryn until she walked through the door that day. Once she came back, I swore to myself that I would do anything in my power to keep her safe and make sure I didn’t make the mistake of hurting her again. She has become my main priority, and I would give my life to protect her.
Guilt pangs in my chest as I think about when she got hurt. I was right there, but I still couldn’t keep her safe. Things could have been so much worse, but here she is, sleeping happily in my arms under the influence of narcotics.
I try to shake off the negative thoughts and focus on the beautiful woman laying beside me, lightly snoring.
The little things about Bryn make me happy: the way the light hits her eyes, the splattering of freckles across her cheeks, her laugh, the way her eyes crinkle when she smiles, how good of a hunter she is, and, most of all, how strong and determined she is. I feel like a love-struck teenager again: I get butterflies when she's around, and I smile like an idiot when she's next to me. I can't help but stare when she's all dressed up for a case. I can't help falling in love with her. I’ve always been in love with her. It comes as naturally as breathing.
Bryn shifts in her sleep and relaxes back into my chest. I press a kiss to her head and join her in slumber.
—
November 9th
Bryn stirs a little while I'm scrolling through random things on my phone. She yawns, her eyes slowly opening, blinking a bunch as they adjust to the light. She nuzzles into my shoulder and sighs happily. When I look down, she’s already looking at me, her eyes still hazy with sleep.
"Hey, Sleeping Beauty," I mutter, kissing her forehead.
"Hi, Sammy." Her eyes twinkle, and the blue hypnotizes me.
"How did you sleep??"
"Pretty good. I'm just glad my stomach stopped hurting." She lightly places her hand over the dressing on it.
"We need to change your bandages.”
"We??" she laughs. "I thought I could do it."
I shrug. "You probably could, but I'm supposed to be taking care of you."
She rolls her eyes.
"You don't have to do that, Sam.”
"Uh, yeah, I do. A man is supposed to take care of his lady." I wink at her.
"Aw, cheesy." She pats my chest. "C'mon, we have some dressings to change."
I get out of bed and help guide her slowly to her feet. She stays slightly hunched over; her stitches still pulling on her skin.
She slides her hand down my arm, and we lace our fingers together. I grab the bag of supplies off her dresser as we walk by on the way to the bathroom. Bryn slowly shuffles beside me, her hand fitting perfectly with mine.
"Alrighty." She grins. "What’re we starting with??"
I pull out all the supplies: alcohol wipes, antibiotic ointment, the gauze, and the clear dressings for each.
"Probably your stomach, since it’s a little more intense than your chest.”
"Okie doke,” she says, making me laugh.
She begins to slowly pull her shirt over her head, leaving her in a sports bra and her sleep shorts. I crouch down to a half squat, half kneel so that I am face to face with her stomach, making it easier for me to access it. Gently, I peel off the existing dressing. She holds onto my arms and lets out a deep breath as the dressing pulls on her skin.
Once the dressing is completely removed, Bryn turns and looks at her stomach in the mirror. She has four large wounds that originate from the bottom left of her ribcage and end below and to the right of her belly button, spanning almost her entire abdomen. The surgeon did a great job suturing it, and it's healing nicely. I clean each slash off with an alcohol wipe, then grab the tube of ointment and spread a lot on each of the wounds. Then, I unfold the super long pieces of gauze and have Bryn hold them in place while I unwrap the clear dressings. One cut at a time, I gently apply a piece of gauze and then secure it with one of the dressings, making sure all the edges are smoothed out.
Once her stomach is done, I rise back to my feet, turning my attention to her chest. She slips her bra straps off her shoulders and pulls the fabric down just enough to uncover the dressing. I repeat the process of cleaning her chest, then apply a thin layer of the ointment, but I don’t cover it with anything, per the doctor’s instructions. The angry red lines have faded to a soft pink, the scar tissue looking a little shinier than her normal skin. The scars follow a similar trajectory as the ones on her stomach, but they start at her collarbone and end just above her right breast.
"You're all done." I smile down at her, running my hands up and down her arms.
My eyes move from hers down to her lips. I take in the color of them and can’t help myself, knowing how soft they are. My heart races as we both lean in and our lips brush against each other. I softly kiss her again, gently guiding her closer to me with my hand on the small of her back. Her lips move in time with mine, and I hold her cheek in my hand. Her fingers twist in my hair, and I have to stifle a grunt as sparks fly through my body when she tightens her grip a little. We both pull away for air, and I rest my forehead against hers, brushing my nose lightly against hers. She keeps her eyes closed while I rub my thumb over the freckles on her cheek.
"Thank you," she says against my lips.
"For the kiss or for playing nurse??"
"Both." She quickly kisses me, then releases me.
I gather up the trash, and her things, then take the supply bag back to her dresser. We gradually make our way upstairs to the living room. Bryn flops down on the couch, and I kiss her forehead.
"I'm gonna go get us some food, okay?? Call or text if you need anything."
She nods and closes her eyes.
"Thank you, Sammy, for everything."
..
When I come back from the food run, Rhys and Fawn are sitting on the couch, laughing at Legally Blonde, which is playing on the flatscreen in the living room. Bryn is sitting on a couch off to the side by herself, scrolling on her phone. She looks up when she sees me move out of the corner of her eye. I set the bag down on the island and a pair of arms snake around my waist, Bryn’s forehead coming to rest between my shoulder blades. I smile and rub a hand over her arms.
“Hungry??” I ask her.
I feel her nod against my back. “Starving.”
I chuckle to myself as I dig through the bag for her food. Once I find it, I hand her the container and a set of chopsticks.
“Thank you,” she says, letting me go so she can take her food.
I watch after her as she shuffles over to the dining table and carefully sits down in one of the chairs. I call over Rhys and Fawn and give them their food, before taking mine out and joining them at the table.
We chat and laugh while we eat, stories of Rhys and Fawn growing up together and the antics they’d get into with Bryn as kids fill the air and I try to burn Bryn’s smile into my memory. She looks so relaxed and happy, every smile crinkling her eyes, every laugh genuine. I would give anything to just sit here and bask in her beauty and joy.
Her hand slips into mine, breaking me from my thoughts. I smile at her and lightly squeeze her hand. She laughs quietly and returns the gesture.
We all put our leftovers in the fridge, then retreat to the living room, where Bryn suggests a movie I’ve never heard of, and I shoot her a look.
Her eyes widen. “No, don’t tell me you’ve never seen Legion.”
I look at her and then over at Rhys and Fawn, who are also staring at me.
“No??”
The girls erupt into dramatic chatter and Rhys hurries to turn on the movie. I laugh at their comments and lean back on the couch.
Bryn leans her back against my chest, stretching her legs down the length of the couch, and I wrap my arm loosely around her waist. This is where we belong, cuddled up on a comfy couch, watching a movie about evil angels.
"Hey, Bryn??" I whisper.
She hums in response.
“How did I get so lucky to have you by my side??” I say quietly, leaning my head against the top of hers.
She laughs a little.
“I could ask you the same question.”
My face warms slightly, and I can’t help but press a soft kiss to the top of her head.
Many of the best moments of my life have had Bryn there with me. She was there the day I went on my first hunt; she was my first date. She was there on my first day of senior year and every day until the last; her face proudly beaming in the crowd when I graduated. She doesn’t know this, but she was with me the day I found out I had been accepted to Stanford. I wish I had been able to share more of my memories with her, but I’m also glad that she was far away and safe during the Apocalypse. I can only imagine how things would have gone had I never left her or had Dean gotten her to join us when he got me from Stanford.
I can’t imagine my life without Bryn in it. The time I spent without her was way too long and honestly horrible. I tried to fill the hole with Jess and a handful of other amazing women, but none of them could ever replace Bryn.
“Can I tell you something??” I whisper to her.
She aimlessly draws circles on my arms with her fingers.
“Of course, Sammy.”
“You make me ridiculously happy, and I would be stupid to not hold on tight to what we have. So, that being said, will you be my girlfriend??”
She giggles and wiggles out of my arms so she can turn to face me.
“I would be stupid to say no.” She grins and kisses me slowly. “You’re so cheesy.”
I kiss her again, savoring the feeling of her lips on mine. “Only for you.”
—
No matter what I do, she dies.
I ignore him; she dies. I follow his instructions; she dies. I try to save her; she dies. Nothing I have done could save her.
“Lucifer, please. How many times are you going to make me do this?? I’ve tried doing everything you’ve asked me to, I’ve tried doing nothing you’ve asked me to, I’ve ignored you, and I’ve done everything, but you still kill her. Please, stop.” I beg him, considering dropping to my knees and truly begging.
“Well, thing is, Sammy,” I cringe at the way my nickname rolls off his tongue, “this is how it’s always going to end. You, me, and your pretty little plaything. There is nothing you can do to keep this from happening. We will always end up here.”
His words echo through my brain as I watch him slice her neck open, blood pouring from her neck like Niagara Falls. By the time I process what happened and rush to her side to catch her, she’s already gone, her body falling limply into my arms.
I jerk awake out of the awful dream, sweating profusely, with salty tears running down my face. Thanks to her painkillers, Bryn is still sound asleep next to me.
The house is quiet as I carefully climb out of Bryn’s bed, trying to keep from waking her. I tread lightly upstairs to the kitchen, managing to avoid the third step, but I still catch a creaky board here and there as I make my way to the fridge. The chill of the water bottle I grab sends a small shock through my system.
“I’m not wrong, y’know,” Lucifer sneers from the corner, startling me out of my skin. “It will just be us in the end; you’ll watch Dean die, and then her.” One of his signature smirks spreads over his face. “It’s too bad you can’t watch yourself die, but I’ll make up for it by killing her nice and slow.”
“Shut the fuck up, Lucifer,” I mutter, taking a seat at the island, my arms stinging as I rest them on the cold granite.
“Aw, are you a softie?? Got a squishy spot for the Ashford girl?? Honestly, it’s adorable; makes me wanna barf a little.”
I ignore him and focus on catching my breath. This isn’t the first time I’ve had this dream, and I know it won’t be the last. Lucifer continues to make fun of me, but it fades into the background as I put firm pressure on my scar. I feel like I’m able to breathe better once he’s gone.
I down the rest of my water bottle and head back to bed. Bryn hasn’t moved an inch since I left, meaning I didn’t wake her. I slip back under the covers and cuddle up to her, my hand resting on her ribs for the reassurance that she’s alive. I drift back to sleep again, my face buried in Bryn’s neck.