Chapter Text
Lucy Gray Snow POV
The sound of the commotion and the pain in my body forced me to wake up. As soon as I opened my eyes a piercing bright light flashed on me making me want to go back to sleep. I looked around the blurry room noticing many tubes attached to me with nurses rushing around. My body was hot and it felt like I was spinning in a microwave.
“She is awake! Mrs Snow is awake!” Yelled the nurse. Her voice echoed through the room and a couple seconds later a woman in a doctor’s coat ran in pushing through several people.
“Mrs Snow, can you hear me!? Where do you feel pain?!” Asked the doctor while checking my eyes with a flashlight. My stomach twisted in agony and I turned around and puked blood on the floor. My body fell back on the hospital bed in pain and I looked at the doctor who wrote down something in her notes and politely asked the nurse to clean the floor up and bring some coal pills with some another medicines.
“Your body strangely didn’t get damaged by poison at all, just minor injuries to your intestines. Do you remember what happened to you on the day of the incident?” Asked the doctor as she was giving me coal pills with water. My vision became less blurry and I finally looked at my doctor properly. She was about two years older than me, had many braids that she put in a bun and beautiful black skin.
“You look familiar” I muttered ignoring the questions trying to remember where I had seen her before. The doctor looked at me surprised and then smiled softly with a hint of sorrow.
“I was the doctor who took care of you during your miscarriage. My name is Lysistrata Vickers, I am also Snow’s former…classmate you might have seen me in photographs from his academy years” answered Dr Vickers. Mention of my miscarriage shot pain through my body this time not from poison.
“Thank you for trying to save my children“ I mumbled and drank more water trying to drop the temperature of my body.
“I am sorry I couldn’t do more to save them…” apologized Lysistrata. Her apology seemed sincere but it didn’t matter when my kids were dead. “You know I used to be a mentor during your games” she mentioned while preparing a needle of morphling. I remembered the first time I saw her.
When I first arrived in the Capitol zoo she was one of the first mentors to arrive with food for us. She also treated us not like human beings. The tribute she was mentoring was Jessup. For a person who has saved my life I sadly didn’t think about him much, being too busy with my new life. A sudden guilt rose in me but it quickly disappeared once Lysistrata inserted a dose of morphling into my veins to ease my pain.
“Jessup was your tribute, right?” I asked indifferently. She nodded and pulled out a compass that also acted like a locket. She opened it and revealed his portrait inside.
“I carry a little bit of him with me, as a reminder of why I am doing this job,” she explained, she then looked around and whispered with determination in her eyes “I wanted to speak to you for a long time now but couldn’t because…Coriolanus didn’t allow me to. I wanted to ask if you would like to help justice to occur in this country?” She was about to say something else but a man in a messy suit and red eyes from crying barged in, hugging me so tightly that I couldn’t breathe.
“Coryo.. I can’t… breathe”I begged. He released his grip just enough to not kill me but kept hugging me. I heard a sound I never heard from him. Sobbing. Oh what a satisfying sound it was. I wanted him to be in pain. All of the doctors including Lysistrata left the room feeling uncomfortable seeing a powerful man like Coriolanus Snow shedding tears while holding his favorite prisoner.
“I told you that you will not die unless I allow it” he said through his tears. Then why are you crying, unless you weren't sure if I would die. I thought to myself while slowly raising my hand to his cheek and catching his tear. I admired it like the most rarest jewel. I let his tear dry on my palm before I noticed tv quietly playing in the corner of the room. I couldn’t contain my facial expression anymore and I finally smiled after seeing on screen how Livia Cardew was getting arrested for attempting to murder me. Just like I planned.
A week ago
“Lucy Gray, my love, please open the door…you can’t grief unborn children forever” whispered Coriolanus behind the locked door. I sat on the freezing marble floor not listening to a single thing Coriolanus or the staff told me. I stared at the painted meadow on the wall and was trying to remember what led me to this moment in time. I thought about my childhood, traveling and singing with my loving parents and siblings. Life was good, until peacekeepers rounded us up, murdering my family when they tried to speak up. Since that day my life was all about survival and taking care of the Covey, the last family I had left.
It all changed after I was unfairly chosen for the Hunger Games where I met my future warden. He locked me in a comfortable cage called the Capitol that I slowly became attached to because of endless attention and expensive gifts I was getting. I didn’t realise at first that the only family I had left was Coriolanus himself. This realization made me even more excited about my pregnancy, wanting to have someone else beside Coriolanus I could call family.
Now here I am sitting on the floor of the nursery that my twins should have been using, starving myself while looking at the fake meadow in front of me. I heard the door flying open and Coriolanus walking closer to me saying something I didn’t bother understanding. I scooted away not wanting him to touch me, when he is one of the reasons why I lost my twins. He violently grabbed my arm pulling me up.
“I was looking at this meadow and it looks so real like you can just walk into it and be free until you notice the roses, that reminds you it’s all fake,” I said camly, instead of showing him he was hurting me. He looked at the wall and scoffed.
“That meadow wasn’t freedom. Real freedom is what you have now” he responded. I looked at him in disbelief of his audacity to say I was free.
“This is freedom? This penthouse with cameras and listening devices always watching me and listening to me Is freedom? I bet you even read my letters as well! I noticed how most of them were in a weird state, they were closed but opened up way too easily. And every time I read a letter you always had a perfect question to ask to get me to talk about it” I yelled trying to wiggle myself out of his firm grip.
“Look Lucy Gray I know you want me to always tell you the truth and I would have told you, if you asked if I put cameras in the apartment! And I do read your letter because…I can’t not know what you are saying or doing! I do this because I love you! This is what love is!” He confessed, picking me up off the floor. I cried trying to get away from this love but I couldn’t and will never.
I sat in the bathtub ignoring Coriolanus as he gently washed my body with a washcloth. I was thinking about how all of this is getting recorded as I noticed something falling out of Coriolanus’ pocket into the water. He didn’t seem to notice and before he could, I covered two bottles with my foot and asked a questions to distract him.
“What do you mean I have freedom now, if I am under constant surveillance like a prisoner?” I asked, actually being curious what is going on through his head. He stopped washing for a second and looked into my eyes.
“You have power. Power is what gives freedom. Sure I watch over you but it doesn’t mean it makes you less capable of doing anything you desire, as long as you stay in my reach. No one, except me, can tell you what you can or cannot do” he explained as he moved on to wash my tangled hair. I thought about what he said for a while. My parents used to teach me that freedom was when you can go anywhere and everywhere but Coriolanus had a point.
When the covey used to travel we couldn’t afford much of anything and lived where the kind strangers would let us. Sometimes people weren’t so kind and we would end up sleeping on the streets or in the wild. It was fun but unreliable. I remember how frequently the adults fought trying to figure out where our small amount of money should be spent. We traveled everywhere but the lack of money constantly reminded us from the growling stomachs. My mind wandered the memories and I started to wonder how the covey is without me. I send them money so I know their stomachs aren’t empty but how they are mentally is mostly unknown beside’s rare letters from Maude Ivory.
“Can I go to district 12 and visit the Covey?” I suddenly asked. He stopped washing my hair in surprise and then shook his head.
“I said in my reach” he remarked and continued massaging my scalp. I thought about it for a minute and found a loophole.
“Well technically once you become president isn’t everything and everyone under your control, can I go then?” I asked again. He stayed quiet for a couple of minutes and I knew he wouldn’t allow me.
“We will discuss that when I actually become president and if I do allow it, it will probably be in a couple of years, to settle my position with the people and not have controversy of the First Lady going to the districts” he finally replied while giving me a towel. I snatched it out with one of my hands aggressively and with another grabbed two small tubes he dropped in the tub and hid it in my fist.
“You are such a liar” I mumble, putting the towel around me and with a fist that contained poison I held my towel up so it wouldn’t be suspicious why my hand was always in a fist.
“I am not lying, I said if” he argued. So in other words you are lying. I thought to myself walking out of the bathroom. He followed me and started commanding the avoxes to make me food. I didn’t want to eat since the poison will work faster on an empty stomach. I wanted to go back into the nursery and drink this poison I am holding to finally reunite with my family and twins. I also wanted to show to Coriolanus that he can’t fully control me and that I will die when I choose to.
“I don’t want to eat” I mumbled walking towards the room I chose to die in but Coriolanus grabbed me by my shoulder and forcefully sat me down on the couch. He had pure rage in his eyes that made me tremble. He never jokes about his commands.
“You are not going to starve yourself! Get this stupid idea of dying, out of your mind! You are not giving up just because you had a miscarriage and life isn’t what you imagined when you were a naive starving child in the districts! You are going to sit down and eat and you will continue eating 3 times a day while taking care of yourself!” He yelled sitting down next to me and force fed me soup. I tried to resist but years of being under his control creeped back in me and I gave in.
Coriolanus became paranoid that I will go back to sitting in the nursery and ordered for it to be barracked. I protested wanting to die there but he didn’t budge. The nursery was closed off to me as well as my dream of my ideal death.
After a long time I finally finished the stupid soup and went back to our bedroom as Coriolanus took a business call. I turned away from the camera view and looked at the poison in my hand and considered just taking it here but hesitated. I was scared and dying right now felt like I hadn't accomplished anything. I quickly threw the bottles into my jewelry box when I heard Coriolanus’s footsteps. I was hoping to find a more poetic time to die. He walked on me changing and sighing in relief probably feeling something off with me. After many years together I am sure he could tell most of the things I was thinking, most.
“Chef prepared you chambolie tea, you need to drink it for you to get better” he said, leading me back into the living room. I sat down grabbing the tea, reluctantly drinking it as Coriolanus turned on the tv.
“My propaganda crew has been working hard to turn the Cardews into villains in the incident, so don’t worry our reputation will be alright.” He said watching tv where almost every single one of the channels spoke about how it’s all Livia’s fault for the miscarriage and she actually even planned for my miscarriage to happen. The lengths Coriolanus takes to not take accountability is astonishing.
“It’s funny how they are either blaming Livia or me and only mentioning the person who is truly responsible for my miscarriage to give their condolences or say that with me by his side Capitol will crumble” I commented, putting the cup on the table. His facial expression shifted from satisfaction to irritation to gentleness.
“I didn’t want our children to die but we can always have more kids so you can’t give up on life right now, especially when you will finally taste the real freedom that comes with power!” he said, putting his hand on my cheek and rubbing it with his thumb. How dare he just not care about our twins anymore and thinking already about having more babies!
“My love, let's put this behind us and look forward. Soon I will become president and you will become my First Lady and then you will get what I am saying, no one will speak about you like that again” He said. I was about to respond with my dissatisfaction about everything but a voice on TV interrupted our conversation.
Livia and her mother were standing in front of the cameras and microphones talking about how I should have known better and read their minds or something since I am an actress. Oh how much I wanted to take their oversized ego and destroy it. Wait, maybe I can. I thought to myself as I smiled at the tv for the first time.
“You don’t have to go, we can just say you are recovering from a miscarriage and who would believe their claim without proper proof-” said Coriolanus turning to look at me. No, I needed to go and make Cardews and you pay. I thought to myself while putting a sweet smile on.
“It’s fine Coryo, I will go and reconcile with her” I said, turning my head to look at his confused expression. Why would I go if it doesn’t benefit me or her? He probably thinks. “To the media I want you to make me out as a saint who just went through a miscarriage because of Livia and still decided to give her a second chance” I explained as I stood up and walked towards my closet looking for a dress that would match my innocent persona. After a while I decided on a white dress to my knees. White often associated with purity and the blood stains will be more visible.
“Why would you do that? She made fun of your miscarriage and so much more!” Shouted Coriolanus in confusion while following me around the room. It was cute seeing all knowing Coryo so confused and stressed that it made me want to comfort him.
“Trust me, I know what I am doing” I whispered, grabbing his palms in mine, comforting him.
“Trust with what?! That you won’t fall into a suicidal state again after seeing that witch!? Trust that you won’t fall to one of their traps I know they set!? There is no way the Cardews don’t have something up their sleeves!” He practically yelled, ripping his hands from mine. He then messed up his perfectly placed curls making him look like the boy I met at the train station. I looked at my Coryo and even felt sorry for making him go through pain but Coriolanus deserves it, for once I will not be the one crying.
I walked towards the bouquet of roses that Coriolanus sends weekly and plucked out the middle rose that I noticed beforehand wasn’t trimmed from thorns. I held it tightly, making my hand bleed.
“Coryo I promise that I won’t be deceived again” I promised while holding the rose with my bloody hand. I will no longer just be a victim of the Capitol, Cardews or Coriolanus. I will be stomping on people who stomped on me first. I will act like the victor I am.
The next few days I dedicated myself to planning out how I will use my newly acquired poison. I have two bottles, one consisting of deadly poison and another with an antidote to it. Coriolanus usually poisons himself and the victim making it hard to figure that the victim was poisoned because Coriolanus looks unaffected. In reality he does get affected because the antidote he drinks right after can’t fully cancel out the poison leaving him to have small wounds in his mouth. It’s actually why I know exactly how he kills his opponents because while kissing him I could taste the blood leading me to interrogate answers out of him.
Coriolanus found an effective way to kill his enemies but I can’t just do it his way. If I just murder Livia, there are no witnesses to prove I was eating out of the same snacks as she was, making it easy to figure out my involvement in her death. Plus if I just murder her it won’t affect the rest of the Cardew family and I wanted to make all of them pay. I need a witness of my ‘innocence’. I walked towards the phone and dialed the number of a gullible woman.
“Persephone! Hey, this is Lucy Gray!” I said into the phone.
“Lucy Gray! It’s been sooo long since we talked! How are you feeling? I know what happened with your pregnancy, me and my husband give you our condolences!” Said Persephone through the phone. I am friendly with Persephone but I wouldn’t call us too close mostly because of Coriolanus’s stories of her cannibal past.
“I've been feeling better, but going to Livia’s is making me nervous. I am scared to go alone because what if she will do something to me.” I mentioned trying to make her take the bait.
“Oh no! What if I go with you! I am sure the Cardews will understand!” Proposed Persephone. Yes! She took the bait!
“You will do that for me?” I asked with gratefulness and concern in my voice.
“Of Course! We are friends after all!” Confirmed Persephone. If it goes as planned I won’t even care about your cannibalistic past and actually be your friend. I thought to myself. We talked for another hour so it wouldn’t seem like this is the only reason I called her.
The day of the Tea party came and I went over the plan in my head multiple times, making sure that not a single part of it would be forgotten because if I mess up anything, it wouldn’t succeed. I got up early before Coriolanus woke up. I wanted to leave as fast as possible so he couldn’t question if I found the bottles I promised to find. Coriolanus finally figured out that his poison was missing which made me uneasy because if he found out I had it, it wouldn’t end well. I did manage to erase footage of me where you can infer I had the poison because after the debate Coriolanus rushed out leaving the computer behind.
I picked up white long gloves I decided to wear to not leave any fingerprints behind just in case. I sensed a predator’s gaze. I turned to find Coriolanus staring at me. I quickly smiled coming over to him, kissing his forehead, trying to act normal.
“Why are you so excited to go to Livia’s tea party? Having to socialize with her for hours sounds like hell on earth!” He asked in a raspy voice. Oh don’t worry because soon Livia will be in actual hell.
“Well Persephone is also coming so I won’t be there alone!” I answered while trying to leave faster. I opened my jewelry chest and pulled out a silver rose locket. It was a perfect place to hide the poison in. Ironically the day after I received this locket Coriolanus poisoned Mr Plinth. Ever since then, this locket gave me a bad feeling, like death was surrounding it, that’s why I never wore it until now. I put on the necklace and checked my appearance in the mirror.
“It’s beautiful. You are beautiful” whispered Coryo while smiling sweetly. After years of this awful marriage, somehow Coriolanus still found a way to make my heart flutter. I spun around showing myself off.
“Do I look like an angel?” I asked, knowing I will become just like Coriolanus if I follow through with the plan. A fallen Angel. He nodded and I knew it was time to go before he could ask any more questions. I quickly said bye and turned around to leave when he asked the dreaded question.
“Did you manage to find the bottles?” He asked. It’s fine, just act normal. I thought to myself calming myself down while I twisted the locket in my hand.
“I didn’t find it yesterday,” I replied. It wasn’t a lie. I in fact didn’t find it yesterday, I found it days ago but he can’t know that fact. Finally after the small interrogation I left the penthouse and went on my way to the Cardews. I arrived in front of the Capitol’s GreenHouse that Cardews kindly rented for this tea party. I walked out of the limo to the flashes of the cameras. The Cardews wanted to capture this event for everyone to see just how altruistic they are. Well I will make sure that everyone will see today’s events.
“Lucy Gray! It’s so nice you accepted our invitation to have a nice and relaxing tea party!” Mrs Cardew greeted me, making sure she had the best smile on as she extended her hand to me. I took a different approach. Instead of matching her confident smile, I smiled slightly but made sure I had a hint of fear that the audience could also see when I shook her hand. Mrs Cardew noticed and immediately stepped aside, now ironically wanting less attention on her. She looked behind her with a smile but her eyes were cold.
“Well come on Livia, go and make Mrs Snow feels welcome!” Mrs Cardew said to her daughter who was quietly standing behind her like a shadow. She nodded and led me inside the GreenHouse. We silently walked through the greenery. As we walked I was looking around making sure there weren’t any cameras. My eyes fell on Livia and I noticed bruises that she was covering with gloves of her own. All of the reporters were left outside so that the two of us had privacy, well almost two. Persephone was already there, sitting patiently observing the lab breaded butterflies flying around. She then noticed the sound of our heels and took her eyes off the butterflies.
“Lucy Gray! I accidentally arrived early so sorry I couldn’t walk with you through all those reporters outside” apologized Persephone as me and Livia sat down. Before I could say a word to Persephone, Livia interrupts.
“Anyway I am pleased you decided to overcome your ego and join me for tea today” Livia said, staring at me to see my reaction. Oh, I see what they are doing, they want to prove that I am violent and a threat to the Capitol if I become the First Lady. No wonder they agreed so quickly to Persephone coming, they also wanted a witness. Persephone is known to be very gullible so she can be used against me. Well won’t I give them what they want. I have been playing the games of society since I was born, I know how to appear anyway I want.
“I came here to hear your apology for all the vicious acts you did against me so that we can be more civil with each other from now on” I said, smiling softly. I noticed from the corner of my eye Persephone nodding eagerly at my statement. Livia coughed in her first and changed the topic quickly.
“What are you just standing around! Go bring some tea and pastries! Don’t make us wait!” Yelled Livia at the avoxes that were standing around. Avoxes shivered in terror and rushed out to bring in everything. Livia then messaged her temples and then looked at Persephone.
“Useless aren’t they!” Livia jokes. Persephone awardly nodded and looked in my direction and then at Livia.
“Livia, you should apologize to Lucy Gray. You were kinda mean to her the entire time she lived in the Capitol and I don’t want you two to fight anymore” said Persephone. Livia looked at her like she betrayed her and then at me. I smirked slightly, so only Livia would notice and nodded to what Persephone said. Livia glared at me and then took a deep breath calming herself down.
“I. am. sorry. ” she mumbled through her teeth. I smiled sweetly, taunting her and nodded.
“Thank you.” I responded. Livia rolled her eyes and then turned to look at the avoxes who were bringing in tea with very extravagant pastries. “I order the most expensive pastries in the Capitol so you Lucy Gray will try them for once in your life” explained Livia. Persephone kicked Livia under the table, making Livia apologize again.
“Oh you didn’t have to worry! Coryo gets me pastries from there often! I didn’t even know they were expensive from how many he gets me!” I giggled and took a bite of a macaron. I noticed Livia tense up at the mention of Coriolanus.
“That’s so sweet! You two seem like such a happy and perfect couple!” Remarked Persephone clapping happily like a seal. Seems is a keyword. I can get anything I desire in exchange for my privacy and freedom. Truly like a deal with the devil. I thought to myself but kept smiling.
“Yes, our marriage is perfect! Coriolanus is so caring and thoughtful, always wants to know everything about my day, takes me to restaurants and places around the city, listens to my poems, buys me everything I want-“ I continued listing as Livia was getting more and more red. Finally after a couple of minutes I asked her a question “So Livia how is your marriage going?” Livia immediately started choking on one of the pasties as an avox tried to help by hitting her on the back. Livia stood up from her seat and pushed away the avox with so much force that an avox toppled to the ground.
“Don’t touch me with your dirty hands!” Livia yelled at the avox on the ground. Livia then turned around and tried to smile “My marriage is good” she replied with a shaky voice. Her marriage was in fact not good, she was arranged to marry off to a man 20 years older than her, who was also known to pay young girls during the dark days to keep his bed warm. Livia hates her husband so much she even refused to take his last name so people wouldn’t associate her with him.
“Oh I am so glad it is! I wouldn’t want you to be unhappy!” I said as I pulled out a handkerchief to ‘blow my nose’ but in reality I was using it as a distraction to pull out a small bottle of poison from my locket. I carefully hid the bottle in my handkerchief and with a switch move a drop of poison flew in my cup of tea. I then lowered my handkerchief with the almost empty bottle and threw the bottle on the ground making sure it rolled directly to where Livia was sitting at.
“I would like to make a toast for the new beginnings and a hope that from now on, peace will prevail amongst us” I said, lifting up my cup. Persephone followed my example and also lifted up her cup. Livia stared at me trying to figure out what I was up to, but gave in and also lifted up her cup. The rococo styled cups clanked with each other and we all took a sip.
At first I didn’t feel anything but after a couple of minutes I felt a sudden pain in my body and I started coughing violently. Scarlet blood stained my white gloves and dress. Persephone and Livia gasped and ran to get help. I really felt like I was dying. Maybe I should die and just choke to death with my blood but something in the back of my head was telling me to live, see where our world will go. I pulled out the second bottle from my locket and drank it, putting it back quickly. I continued coughing up blood and my vision blurred. My body became weak and I fell to the ground.
“Lucy Gray! Please, just stay strong! Help is on the way!” Persephone’s words were the last thing I heard before I completely lost consciousness. Please make this plan be successful.
The plan was successful. I watched Livia Cardew get arrested as Coriolanus was crying in my arms. I haven’t felt so happy and alive in years. After about a week in the hospital where the best doctor made sure every single drop of poison was gone from my body, I was released from the hospital.
“Please be careful, don’t put too much pressure on your body yet” said Coriolanus helping me up from the hospital bed. “Are you sure you don’t want to be in a wheelchair?”
“No, I can handle it. I don’t want to be seen as weak” I responded slowly walking out of my hospital room while holding onto Coriolanus just in case. I drank the antidote so my body wasn’t in a critical condition but it still took a hit because I took the antidote later than it should be and I never drank any poison before unlike Coriolanus, so I had no immunity from it.
We walked to the waiting area where all doctors and even half dying patients were looking at me. My poisoning is the only thing that is on the news right now, putting me in a spotlight that I always belonged in. As Coriolanus's secret service opened the glass doors of the hospital I could already tell this was one of, if not the biggest crowd of reporters I ever saw. Reports tried to interview me but the secret service agents kept pushing them away. I stopped and looked at the reporters with a tired expression and came closer with Coryo’s and agents' protests.
“Mrs Snow, what would you like to say about your poisoning? What truly happened? Is your health okay? Will you be able to continue your singing career? Will they put Livia Cardew on a death road?“ reporters were asking. I put my shaking hand on my heart and spoke softly.
“She has bullied me for years and I was just ready to move on with my life. So when Livia Cardew said she wanted to reconcile and become a better person, I reluctantly agreed to meet her. I had a bad feeling about her sudden change but thought what is worse thing she can do to me. My instinct was proven right when she poisoned me and almost ended my life.”
“So do you think she deserves the death penalty that your lawyers are pushing for?” Double asked the reporter. I looked down trying to act like it was a hard thing for me to say but then I looked up and nodded.
“I think she does. If she can do such a thing to me, I am sure she would do it again to someone else. I don’t want someone else to become a victim. Plus if we let someone like that live it’s like showing to the districts that we are violent like them.” I said and was about to leave when one question caught my attention.
“Do you think Mrs Cardew was also involved in the attempted murder seeing you as a threat to her campaign?” Asked a young woman. I turned around and smiled.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if she was.” I said and walked away. I stayed home for another week while watching the updates on the news like a hawk. Tigress after years decided to finally visit the penthouse again. Taking care of me with Ma while Coriolanus was away working to my dislike. Coriolanus came back one day in the middle of the night, waking me up by turning on the lights. I looked up at him to complain about the lights but what he was holding in his hand sent a chill down my spine.
“You poisoned yourself didn’t you?” asked Coriolanus while holding the rose locket and the antidote bottle that was inside. After I drank the antidote I had no time to get rid of it properly before I passed out so I put it back into my locket praying nobody would open it.
“Did anyone else see that?!” I asked urgently. If it was found by anyone other than Coriolanus I am doomed.
“You haven’t answered my question. Did you poison yourself?” Asked Coriolanus, coming closer to me. I looked away, staying quiet. He grabbed my face, forcing me to look at him. “Did you poison yourself?” He repeated harsherly. His grip started to hurt and I nodded to make him let go. He finally let go and I messaged my cheeks from the pain.
“You lied about not finding the poison” He declared, crushing the glass bottle in his hand and throwing the pieces on the floor. “You promised to not lie to me”
“I only did because you lied first! I had the right!” I argued. He scoffed walking to the alcohol counter, grabbing the most expensive whiskey and pouring it into a cup with a round ice ball. I walked over to him jumping over the glass piece on the ground from the tube. He drank the whiskey in one go and then looked at me with cold amusement.
“I see what you did. You wanted to cause me pain as revenge” he said unusually calmly. Suddenly he pushed me, making me fall on the ground. He stood over me, looking at me as if I was dirt on his perfect shoes. “Sure if you die I will be upset but in the long run it won’t matter. I can easily find some women with higher status than you, to be my wife and bair me children. To me you're just who I would enjoy more in being my wife, but even you can be replaced. So my dear, my love Lucy Gray, do you want to hurt me more?” His words hurt me deeply but didn’t let it show. I am not weak.
“Haha Coryo, you always had such an ego. You weren’t my target at all. I faked poisoning myself to make sure Livia would die and her family lost everything. I didn’t expect me almost dying to bring you pain. You told me before that I am not that important to you so I didn’t expect you to actually shed tears.” I said standing up while maintaining eye contact with him. “Coryo, my beloved liar” I whispered, putting my hand on his cheek and smiling victoriously while my sharp nails pierced his cheek “Your words and actions gave you away. Not only am I important, I am irreplaceable and you know it”
Coriolanus stared at me in shock, not expecting me to call him out. Then he began laughing but not a spiteful laugh but a laugh of joy. Then he suddenly picked me up and threw me on the bed climbing over me. “You changed, you are no longer a powerless woman from the districts, chasing the wrong freedom. You finally realized freedom is power.” he said, kissing the back of my hand as he stared at me below him. “You can continue with your plan, I just want you to promise me that if you would like to kill somebody again it won’t involve hurting yourself in the process and that you will tell me beforehand”
“I will think about the last one” I replied. He glared at me again and I reluctantly nodded. Coryo then smiled softly and kissed me.
The next two months consisted of many trials, interviews with the press, Persephone testifying and all of the procedures of sentencing Livia to death. Finally the last trial came and I knew that Livia Cardew is not going to leave this room proclaimed as innocent. Cardews had money but they won’t be able to buy out their daughter this time. She will die.
“The verdict of the Jury pronounces you Livia Cardew as guilty! You are sentenced to a death penalty for the attempted murder of Lucy Gray Baird and additional charges!” announced the Judge and hit the table with his wooden hammer. Livia Cardew started sobbing and screaming how she was innocent, how I was the one who set her up and blah blah blah. She was dragged away by 5 policemen while she was trying to get out of their grasp and plucked my beautiful eyes out who kept staring at her with joy in them.
The rest of my face didn’t show it though, I looked calm and composed which you couldn’t say the same for the rest of the Cardews. They weren’t even upset about their daughter’s death but instead about how this ruined their reputation forever. Now Mrs Cardew surely will lose the election and people might not trust to put their money in Cardew’s bank. That’s what they truly were sobbing about. Truly disgusting behavior. You can really tell they are Livia’s parents.
“I want to talk to Livia before she gets executed” I whispered to Coriolanus as we walked out of the courtroom. He thought about it for a moment and smiled sadistically.
“I can make it happen so nobody will know” he replied and waved for his assistant Monica who I slightly dislike to come over. They talked about something for a couple of minutes mentioning a specific captain of the prison where Livia should spend her last months at. Finally after sometime Monica made a couple of calls and gave a thumbs up.
“You can go a day before her execution, all the cameras will be shut down and you can get in secretly through the back door.” Explained Monica. I nodded along while thinking of what exactly I should say to Livia, something that will finally crush her ego into small pieces before she dies. Her sentence is going to happen two weeks before the new president (Coriolanus) officially takes office which is in a couple of months.
Months passed and Coriolanus officially won the election making me officially future First Lady of Panem. I enjoyed even more increased fame while Livia was rotting away in a cell. January came and so did the Inauguration Day when Coriolanus will take an oath of allegiance to the Capitol and take the office he will never let go of.
“Madam Snow, would you also like for us to start packing your jewelry?” Asked the new Head Maid. I stood looking out of the window enjoying the high view trying to take it all in before I would have to leave it behind for the presidential mansion. I lived in this house for 6 years growing to enjoy its cold charm.
“Start with my clothes first,” I answered without giving the maid a glance.
“As you wish Madam” said the head maid and started commanding the avoxes to hurry up and start packing up clothes. The bell rang and I hurried to open the door. Monica stood there with a stone expression and nodded at me. It was time. Time to see Livia before her execution tomorrow morning. I quickly grabbed a dark jacket and a scarf to cover up my appearance. We got in an unremarkable vehicle without a license plate and drove off to jail that was on the edge of the city out of sight of most people as a way to hide the flaws that exist in the Capitol society. The head warden let me in through the secret door and led me through the hallways.
“Please don’t get too close to the prisoner. If you feel like you are in any danger please press this button and guards will immediately intervene.” Explained the warden giving me a small red button. “Nothing is getting recorded and the walls are soundproof so you can speak freely” I nodded and he slowly opened the big metal door. They are really keeping her like she is the most dangerous criminal out there. I thought to myself as I walked in a highly protected room. The room was small and dark with the only furniture inside being a narrow bed. The only source of light was the full moon seen through the tiny window with bars.
“Enjoying your last moon?” I taunted the woman who throughout her life hasn’t done a single thing to make me or anyone else be sympathetic towards her. Now she is laying on an uncomfortable bed with her once golden hair covering her face. She slowly moved her hand and lifted up her messy hair from her eyes to check who was talking to her. At first she looked at me bewildered but then her face twisted in fury.
“YOU! WHAT… DID YOU COME HERE TO TAUNT ME!? TO SHOW OFF HOW YOUR ‘BRILLIANT’ PLAN WORKED!?” Yelled Livia standing up and immediately falling on the ground. It seems she didn’t move for a while. I walked towards her as she was trying to lift herself up and grabbed her by her hair making her look at me again.
“I don’t have to since you are experiencing my plan right now” I say joyfully and let go of her hair. “So Livia do still believe you are a superior human being? Oh, how many times you claimed you are smarter than most people but here you fell for my trick! Pathetic really!” I waited for her response that I believed would be a violent one based on her past actions but I was wrong. She sat on the cold stone floor and just began to sob.
“Who cares what I believe anyway! I will die tomorrow without even a last name to me because my own parents disowned me trying to save their precious image, like always!” Cried Livia. I stood there watching her sob uncontrollably. I didn’t do anything to comfort her. This is what I wanted, but I didn’t feel satisfied. I wasn’t the one who caused her the greatest pain, it was her parents.
This visit is quite disappointing. When a person it’s raging it’s easier and more satisfying to taunt them and crush their egos but Livia is already broken. Her ego is broken, her life is broken. I turned around to leave her cell but I stopped in my tracks when Livia spoke again in a raspy voice as she was wiping away her tears.
“Lucy Gray…Hahaha, an all perfect angel that can do no wrong. Lucy Gray is perfect, her life is perfect and everything around her is also perfect. That’s what you want people to think and they blindly do, but the truth is that your heart is dark. I saw your morality disappear the longer you stayed in the Capitol. Money corrupted you.” mumbled Livia on the floor. I slowly turned around to look at her and shook my head.
“Are you trying to compare me to you? The two of us are completely different! You never had to see your whole family die in front of you, you never had to starve for days, you never had to use your charms to get by, you never had to actually fight to survive! You grew up with a silver spoon in your mouth. The only thing you were worried about is your riches and how to make your parents love you.“ I argued and turned around to the door. “I am doing what I have to do, to never go back to the life I had before! It’s all necessary.” I said and opened the metal door.
“You know we are similar, you just don’t want to admit it! You are a liar!” was the last thing Livia said before I slammed the door shut, leaving her alone to wait for her death. I walked through the hallways at a fast pace. I hate to admit it but she got to me. I didn’t want to be like her at all and I wasn’t. I am a victor while she is a loser of life that is losing it tomorrow. Lying is literally my job as an actress! I thought to myself while I was covering my face with the scarf and getting into my unremarkable car.
“How was the visit, Mrs Snow?” Asked Monica. I just rolled my eyes and looked outside as we drove through the streets of my city. The next day came and I didn’t watch Livia's execution on television. I didn’t want to see her face for another second, preferring to have her to get lost in people's minds, never to be remembered. Two weeks went by and I couldn’t sleep a day before the Inauguration Day so I decided to take a walk around the Capitol in the middle of the night. Of course I had to go with at least two peacekeepers but I already got used to it. I just tell them to stay out of my sight when they follow me so I at least feel like I am alone. The streets were full of people celebrating a ‘new era’ that Coriolanus promised them. I didn’t want to be recognized so I put on a scarf over my head and sunglasses as I walked through the crowd.
After a while I got annoyed from constant noise all around and started looking for a quiet place. I still didn’t want to go back to the penthouse. I walked and walked until everything went dead silent. I was standing in front of the black metal gates of the graveyard. Why not go visit my in-laws. I thought to myself as I strolled past stone graves. I found the snow family’s grave plots located in one of the nicest parts of the graveyard. There was a lot of space left for future generations to lay and rot. I stared at the graves of Coryo’s parents remembering stories I was told of them. I wouldn’t want to meet Crassus Xanthos Snow but his wife seemed so kind and gentle, reminding me of my own.
“I am sorry, I should have brought flowers” I whispered, while I gently cleaned off the fallen snow off her grave. I turned around and reluctantly did the same to Crassus’s grave as well. Then I decided to do the same to every grave around. I wasn’t sure why it’s just something inside me that wanted to give the dead respect. It’s funny how the First Lady of Panem is working as a janitor.
After a while I got to an unremarkable grave. It seemed less expensive than other graves in the area. It also didn’t have many flowers unlike every other grave I cleaned with only one half wildered poppy on top of it. I cleaned the grave off snow and the name that was revealed made me step back. Livia. It didn’t have a last name, just her first name but I knew it was Livia Cardew. I stared at it for sometime thinking about how I was the one who sent her here.
“It’s quite a pity what happened to her,” said a voice that appeared next to me. I turned around in surprise to find Dr Lysistrata Vickers. She was standing next to me with a poppy in her hand staring down at the grave in front of us.
“She got what she deserved,” I answered. Lysistrata then kneeled down and put another flower on Livia’s grave.
“I knew her since we were in our diapers and I watched her slowly grow up to become an egoistic person who everyone remembers her as, but Livia wasn’t born evil. No one is born evil and maybe if she lived a little longer she would have changed” explained Lysistrata while getting up and cleaning snow off her knees. Her belief reminded me of my old self. Now I don’t even know what I believe in.
“What did you want to talk to me about in the hospital?” I asked. Lysistrata rubbed her hands and then shook her head.
“I am not sure you would like that offer anymore”
“You said you wanted to bring justice to this country. What makes you think I wouldn’t want that?” I asked suspiciously. Lysistrata immediately started shaking her head.
“Oh it’s not that you wouldn’t want it! It’s just…you aren’t ready for it” she reached down in her pocket and pulled out her compass she showed me in the hospital and gave it to me. “I have a feeling that one day you will be ready and when you are this compass will guide you” I looked at the compass in my hand and then back at her but she was already walking away. She is a rebel. It was stupid of her to reveal that to the First Lady of Panem. Does she expect me to betray Coriolanus? I wanted to just throw away this stupid compass but I couldn’t so I reluctantly dropped it in my pocket. I took a last look at Livia’s grave and sighed. I still don’t feel guilty for what I did since she deserved it but…maybe she could’ve changed if she was given the opportunity.
“I have to go home now. Inauguration is in a couple of hours”