Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Buck didn’t wake up on a random Tuesday morning in sunny Los Angeles and think to himself, “Today I’d like to kidnap a child.” Unfortunately, sometimes these things just happen.

He was posing for a series of increasingly tasteful post-gym-workout mirror selfies when the phone in his hand started buzzing.

“Hey, Hen,” he answered with a grin. Despite working at the 118 for a few months, it wasn’t all that common for his coworkers to reach out to him when they were off shift. “What’s up?”

“Are you clothed?” As an opening line, it wasn’t promising. “And sober?”

Stifling a sigh, he said, “Yeah, it’s like, not even five o’clock yet. Why? You need a ride somewhere?”

“No, Denny does,” Hen said quickly. “Chim isn’t answering his phone and Karen is currently in the middle of getting her appendix out. Denny needs to be picked up from science day camp in less than twenty minutes. I already called Athena and she’s in the middle of booking someone across town. Bobby’s phone went straight to voicemail. I’m desperate here.”

“I’m getting that,” Buck said flatly. His enthusiasm for being the person called on in an emergency was slightly dimmed by being the last possible option. Still, he liked Hen and there was a kid involved. It wasn’t like Buck was ever gonna say no. “Just send me the address. I’ll leave right now.”

“You’re a lifesaver, Buck. Really.” Even through the phone Buck could hear the long breath she let out. “I know Karen will be fine, but I just can’t leave her.” 

“I get it,” Buck said, even though he really didn’t. Buck didn’t have anyone in his life to worry about like that. Abby was gone without a backward glance. It had been years since he’d heard from Maddie. And it wasn’t like Buck had any kids to take care of—honestly, he couldn’t blame Hen for thinking of him as the last resort. Buck could barely take care of himself.

“I’ll call to let them know it’s an emergency and someone new will be picking him up today. Thanks again, Buck, really. I’ll make this up to you.” Hen hung up before Buck could tell her there was nothing to make up for, he was happy to help. A second later his phone pinged with an address.

He took one last longing look at the pile of selfies on his phone and kissed the idea of finding a hookup for the night goodbye.

Twenty minutes of obstinate L.A. traffic later, he found himself parking in front of a small plaza. One of the storefronts featured a sign that read, “Little Thinkers Daycare and Day Camp” in bold multicolor letters.

The rest of the parking lot was dead, businesses closed up for the night or simply abandoned by their customers for the evening. 

Buck jogged up to the yellow glow seeping through the glass door of Little Thinkers, oddly nervous. 

Nobody had ever trusted him with a child before. Not for longer than it took him to load the kid into an ambulance, and even then he had supervision. Suddenly, picking up Denny wasn't just a small favor for Hen. It was a big responsibility and he honestly wasn't sure he was quite ready for it.

I can't mess this up, he thought. There was an edge of desperation to the words, even in his own mind. He wanted to be the kind of person who got kept and called on in times of crisis—not the disappointing kid who got left behind when people realized he couldn’t measure up. Buck needed to be better. Prove himself. 

The little bell over the door jingled cheerfully as Buck hesitantly pushed it open. 

“Hello?” The front desk was a ghost town, papered with fingerprinted solar systems. Empty chairs stared him down, the clock on the wall ticking loudly as the minute hand scraped its way to the three. Ten past five—he winced. 

Where do they keep the kids after hours? A blur of blonde hair and bright pink yoga pants appeared, jogging down the hallway that presumably led to the classrooms or whatever. He cleared his throat as this new person made a B-line for him. 

“Hey, I'm Evan Buckley. There was kind of a family emergency. I'm here to pick up—”

“You're late ,” the teenage girl snapped, scrounging around the clip boards and Post-it notes overflowing between the two front desk computers. 

Buck winced, almost as upset by this abuse of perfectly organizable clipboards as he was by the dressing down. 

“There was kind of an emergency—”

“Yeah, tell it to Nancy,” the girl said dismissively, all but throwing a pen and a clipboard at Buck. “I'm going to miss my bus. Sign here.”

Buck did, not bothering to look at what he was agreeing to.

“You’re definitely going to have to pay the late pickup fee. Just so you know .” The girl didn't wait for Buck to reply before power walking back down the hallway. At a loss for what to do, Buck followed her. 

The place was kind of cool, actually. There were a couple of terrariums, though he didn't have enough time to see what was in them. Chains of construction paper dangled from the ceiling like streamers and bunting. There was a glossy poster identifying different bug species next to one that looked like it was about the properties of light. 

Cool. 

They stopped at the last room, empty at first glance.

“He's napping,” the girl said, pointing to a pile of limbs curled up in a big chair near a bookshelf. “And, as I'm sure you know, he's absolutely awful when you wake him up, so please don't. Here's his backpack.” 

She thrust a surprisingly small plastic bag covered with dinosaurs into Buck’s arms. “Soooo, if you could like, hurry?” She looked pointedly at the clock on the wall, tapping her toe. 

Buck nodded, distracted by the soft rise and fall of a tiny chest covered by a Spider-Man t-shirt. There were a pair of fire engine red crutches leaning against the chair. 

Hen hadn't said anything about Denny having a disability, but then again Buck knew almost nothing about the kid. A flush of shame washed over him as he realized he'd been picturing Denny as being black this whole time, even though he knew Hen and Karen had adopted. He really had to learn better than to just assume things like that. 

The kid asleep in front of him was fair-skinned and curly-haired—enough that he could easily have been mistaken for Buck’s. A pang of useless, untethered desire shot through him. Buck ignored it. Probably indigestion.

The teenage girl behind him cleared her throat.

Buck grabbed the crutches first then scooped the little boy up, cradling him carefully against his chest. Denny made a cute little snuffling sound, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. 

Buck's heart melted. It was all over for him. That was it. He was gonna love this kid forever now.

Maybe I can get Hen and Karen to let me babysit him more often if I prove I'm responsible, Buck thought optimistically.

Trying to keep his steps light so as not to wake the sleeping child in his arms, he followed the girl back to the door. She held it open for him impatiently, turning the key to lock up behind them without even bothering to flick off the lights. She was jogging down the block toward the bus stop before Buck even made it to his Jeep.

With infinite care, he shifted Denny to one arm so he could open the back door of the car. The kid grumbled as he was laid down in the back seat, but didn’t wake. Carefully, Buck buckled the kid into the seat before climbing into the driver side. He started up the engine with a wince.

How have I never noticed how loud Jeep engines are before? Buck wondered. He inched out of the parking lot, coasting along at a snail’s pace to avoid waking the kid.

Five minutes down the road his phone began to blare with an incoming call. Swearing softly under his breath, Buck pulled over. He scrambled for his phone before it could wake the kid.

“Buck, I’m so glad I caught you.” Hen was breathless on the other end of the line. “I just realized I missed a voicemail from Chim. I was so busy making calls he couldn’t get through to let me know he was good to pick up Denny. You’re probably at the daycare by now, but I wanted to let you know everything is fine and Denny is safe and sound at Chim’s apartment.”

“Denny…is at Chim’s.” Buck’s brain was a mess of static. The words sounded faint to his own ears. In the rearview mirror he saw the little boy in the yellow striped shirt push himself up to sit with a yawn and adjust his glasses. “You’re sure?”

“Yeah, I’m positive. He just texted me a selfie,” Hen sounded so fond and relieved. “Apparently Denny is decimating Chim at Monopoly. Again. Some people never learn.” She chuckled. “Anyway, Buck, I’m so sorry for making you rush across town for nothing. Next time the team goes out, let me buy you a beer, okay?”

“Okay.” Normally Buck would have argued, said that there was nothing Hen needed to apologize for. But there was a kid in the backseat of his Jeep who wasn’t Denny. He had no extra brain power left over for reassurances or social niceties.

There was a child in his Jeep.

“I’ll call you back later? Okay, thanks, bye.” Buck hung up before she could reply, his hands shaking.

Twisting in the driver’s seat, Buck blinked at the child who was blinking at him through thick blue glasses.

“Who are you?” the kid said, slow and suspicious. He twisted his tiny hands in his shirt nervously.

“I’m Buck. I’m a firefighter. Who are you?” It was second nature at this point to pull out the voice he used on scared kids on calls. He really wished somebody who knew what they were doing would show up and use that voice on him.

“I’m Chris. Was there a fire? This doesn’t look like a firetruck.” His cute, round little face scrunched into a frown as he looked around the interior of the Jeep with increasing skepticism.

“Ah, no. I think there’s been a mix up.” Buck rubbed the back of his neck, wondering how he was going to explain this one. “I was supposed to pick up Denny Wilson.”

“You thought I was Denny?” Chris asked incredulously. “His hair is way longer than mine and he doesn’t even wear glasses.”

“Yeah, uh, pretty silly mistake, right?” Buck giggled, half-hysterical. The kid giggled with him. “We should go back to the daycare and wait for your mom and dad. They’re probably freaking out looking for you. Let’s get you back where you belong, okay?”

This kid’s only been in my car for like, ten minutes, Buck thought, glancing briefly at the clock as he listened for the seat belt to click behind him before pulling out onto the road. That can’t possibly count as kidnapping, right? Not if I take him right back?

Maybe, if he was really lucky, the kid’s parents were still running late and didn’t even realize their child had been stolen—no, not stolen, misappropriated . Accidentally. They probably hadn’t even had time to call the police yet.

I can totally make this work, Buck thought optimistically. This is definitely not my fault.

He tightened his grip on the steering wheel, driving just a touch faster. He wasn’t speeding, not with a kid in the car, but the lazy pace from before was long gone. Every few seconds he checked his mirrors, paranoid that a cop car or someone he knew would suddenly pull up beside him at a light. Nobody on his team could ever find out about this. Even though it was a totally understandable thing that could totally happen to anyone.

Chapter Text

Miraculously, the parking lot was even more empty when Buck returned to it. The daycare windows stood dark and silent. Apparently the lights were motion activated, because he distinctly remembered the girl leaving them on.

“I’m sure your parents will be here soon.” Buck craned his neck around to look at Chris, plastering a reassuring smile across his face.

“Can I wait in the passenger seat?” Chris pouted at Buck. “The car isn’t even moving anymore.”

“Uh, sure?”

The kid slipped his seat belt and had the door cracked before Buck could so much as scoop his spare hoodie off the seat beside him and figure out where to throw it. With a muttered curse, Buck scrambled out of the car, jogging around to Chris’s side. 

Once they were both settled back in the Jeep, Buck took a deep breath. Checking his watch, he saw that it was quarter to six. The daycare closed at five, according to Hen’s earlier phone call. Frowning, Buck looked over at the adorable little boy beside him.

“Uh, Chris? Did your mom say she was going to be late today?”

Chris scrunched his eyebrows together, his mouth pulling to one side as he looked at Buck like Buck was crazy. Thankfully, Buck was used to receiving that look from people.

“My mom’s gone. Dad says she might come home one day but we just have to wait and hope. But I can tell he’s sad when he talks about her but I don’t really remember her much anymore.” Chris shrugged, with the innocent nonchalance only a six year old could manage when talking about major trauma. As if being abandoned by a parent was no big deal.

Buck’s vulnerable heart fractured into a thousand shards.

How could anyone leave this kid? He would never understand some people. Chris was awesome. Even if things with his parents didn’t work out, that was no excuse for one of them to bail on their kid.

“Can I play with your toys?” Chris’s eyes were wide, as he pointed to the dash. Buck glanced at the row of little rubber ducks, with a firefighter duckie right in the center.

“Yeah, of course.” Buck leaned over the steering wheel, accidentally hitting the horn with his pec as he reached for the duck. He winced at the loud beep but Chris just laughed like this was the funniest thing he’d ever seen.

“How come you have so many toys in your car?” Chris asked, squishing the duck as hard as he could the second it was in his hands. A faint little whistle escaped from the hole on the bottom of the duck as the air was forced out. A new round of giggles overtook the kid.

“It’s part of this game called Duck Duck Jeep,” Buck explained. “People leave ducks on Jeeps to like, spread joy? And kinda feel like they’re a part of something, I guess? Then you collect them and you have all these different ducks from different people.” 

The tension in Buck’s shoulders dropped as he remembered the first duck he ever got—the excitement as he proudly displayed it. For weeks afterwards he was looking around for more Jeeps with ducks like they were some kind of secret decoder ring for friends he hadn’t met yet.

“Wow, that’s so cool!” Chris grinned wide and enthusiastic, even as he squished the duck as hard as he could to make it whistle again. “Did you know you can make them  fart?” Chris offered the duck out to Buck. It took up his whole tiny palm.

Embarrassingly, this insignificant little fact made tears prick at Buck’s eyes. Kids always got to Buck like nothing else. They were just so small and perfect.

“Uh, no. I haven’t.” Buck cleared his throat. Buck took the duck and tried to make the air whistle out like Chris had while the kid enthusiastically offered him tips.

Five minutes and seven farting ducks later, Buck was once again looking nervously around the parking lot and checking his watch.

“Did your dad say anything about working late today?”

Chris shrugged. “He’s always working.” His voice was glum. “Sometimes I don’t see him for days.”

Should I be calling 9-1-1? Damn it, Buck we are 9-1-1 , he answered himself in a panic. I’m a mandated reporter, I should know this shit.   What would Bobby do? Bobby was a responsible adult. He always seemed to have the answers.

“You’re all by yourself at home sometimes?” Buck asked, carefully keeping the alarm out of his voice.

“No, Tia Pepa or Bisabuela watch me when Dad’s busy. They’re really nice, and they cook a lot better than Dad, but I still miss him.” Chris pushed his lips out, pinching the sides together to make his mouth look like a duck bill. “Do you think they make rubber duck Legos?”

It took Buck a minute to decipher this question, distorted as it was through Chris’s new duck bill.

“You know, I’m not sure.” It was a huge effort of will to keep himself from laughing as Chris let his mouth go back to normal. Clearing his throat, Buck forced himself to focus. He was the adult. He had to figure this situation out. As much as he might want to, there was no way he could keep Chris in his car forever. “Hey, buddy? What’s your dad’s name?”

“Um.” Chris pushed the glasses up his nose, biting his lower lip. “Dad?”

“Right.” Buck nodded enthusiastically, trying to keep the strained smile on his face. “And what’s your last name?”

“Diaz. Duh.”

What a nice, common, name that should only take up about forty pages or so of the phone book. Assuming they still make those.

“Cool, cool, cool.” Buck was going to turn into a bobblehead if he kept nodding like this. He would make kind of an off-putting Jeep dash decoration amongst all his ducks.

“Do you happen to know your dad’s phone number by chance?”

Chris huffed like this was an unreasonable question.

“Buck, that’s what adults are for. I’m not allowed to use the phone on my own.” His sassy eyebrows very much left the ‘ duh’ implied.

Buck smacked his forehead, a big comical gesture meant to bring those giggles back. It worked like a charm, Chris curling up like an adorable little pill bug as he pressed his laughter into his palms.

“How could I not think of that?” Buck put on the goofy voice, prompting another round of giggles. “What about your address, do you know that?”

“No.” Buck’s stomach dropped. “We’ve only been in the new house for like…a little while. I knew the one back home, kinda. L.A. is still a new adventure.” The way Chris spoke the words, it sounded like something that had been told to him before, possibly more than once.

“Right, of course.” Buck’s stomach twisted, sour and uncertain, as he realized that he really well and truly had no way to get this child home if nobody showed up. They had been sitting in the parking lot for nearly twenty minutes with no sign of another car pulling in.

“I’m hungry,” Chris whined. “It’s usually dinner time by now.” Buck glanced at the clock, internally wincing. It was definitely past time to eat. His stomach grumbled in protest.

“What do you and your dad like to eat?” Buck asked.

“Pizza!” Big earnest eyes stared up at Buck. “And ice cream. We have ice cream with sprinkles as dessert every day.”

“Hmm.” Buck rubbed his chin like he was thinking about it. “You wouldn’t be lying to me, would you, Chris? You wouldn’t do that.”

“No! Of course not.” He fidgeted in his seat, not meeting Buck’s eyes.

Buck cracked immediately. There was just no way to keep the serious look on his face when the kid in front of him was so cute.

“Okay, well, you’re in luck, because I actually love pizza. We just have to leave a note on the daycare door to let your dad know where to find us when he comes looking.” 

At this point, Buck was fairly certain this guy wasn’t coming. He really hoped it was something simple like losing track of the time and not a more serious issue. The last thing he wanted to do was call the cops and force Chris to, at best, be stuck sitting around an intimidating police station while they tracked down Mr. Diaz. No, Chris was better off with him for the time being. 

As he rummaged around, he imagined Chris’s dad, some middle aged guy in glasses with a haggard face and creases in the lines of the suit he wore to his office. He probably did some boring, stable adult job like tax accounting or something. The kind of thing that could provide a stable, loving home for a curious, happy-go-lucky kid like Chris. 

Finally, Buck pulled out an envelope that was mostly blank and a pen with a couple spurts of ink left inside. Biting his lip he carefully scratched out:

For Chris Diaz call:

Followed by his phone number. It was all he could manage before his pen finally gave up the ghost.

He licked the back of the envelope to re-activate the adhesive there and stuck it onto the glass door of the daycare with a hope and a prayer.

If I don’t get a call by the time we finish dinner I’ll call…someone. Buck nodded to himself, feeling relatively good about this decision. 

Jogging back to the car, he gave Chris a double thumbs up and got a big cheesy grin in return.

 About five minutes after they sat down at the pizza place, and ordered more food than Buck would be able to eat in the next three days, his plan broke down. Mostly because his impatience and anxiety wouldn’t let him wait for a phone call that might not be coming.

He needed a more active plan, however there was only one person he could think to call.

“Chimney!” Buck greeted brightly as the man answered on the third ring.

“Please don’t tell me you’re having an emergency too.” Chim sounded exhausted, but happy. “Because, I’m sorry man, but I can only deal with one friend having a crisis at a time.”

“No, no, no crisis here!” Buck said brightly, like a liar.

Chris smiled at him happily from across the table, half chewed pizza bulging out his little cheeks like a chipmunk.

“Right.” Chim drew the word out about three times as long as it should have taken to say. “That’s super convincing. Please remind me to invite you to my next poker night.”

“Definitely,” Buck said. He might not know how to play poker, but being involved in something, being invited to spend more time with his work family, was not something he was about to pass up on. “Um, just one question. Is Denny there?”

Chim paused.

Buck’s leg bounced beneath the table. He fiddled with the parmesan shaker with his free hand, unable to keep more than one limb still at a time.

Chris chewed a bit slower, seeming suddenly twice as interested in Buck’s boring adult phone call now that his friend’s name had been mentioned.

“I thought Hen said she called you? I’m sorry dude, I hope you didn’t drive all the way to that weird daycare for nothing. But yeah, I’ve got Denny. All good here.”

“Sweet. Good. Awesome.” Buck nodded although there was only Chris there to see. Chris mirrored him anyway, a tiny bob of his head that seemed subconscious. “So, actually, can I talk to him real quick? Denny?”

“You…want to talk to Denny? Hen’s son? The seven year old?”

Buck scoffed. “It sounds weird when you put it like that. Listen, can you just put him on the phone for a second? Please?”

“Only because I’m kind of dying to see where this is going to go.” There was some shuffling on the other end of the line.

“Hello?” a young voice asked, sounding confused.

“Hey, um, quick question—do you know Chris Diaz?” Chris’s head shot up, dripping the garlic knot in his hand into the cup of marinara with a splash that would have made an Olympic diver proud. Buck winced, wondering if a more competent adult might know how to get that stain out. He really hoped Mr. Diaz wouldn’t be mad about that.

“Yeah, I just saw Chris today, actually.” Buck could hear the smile in Denny’s voice.

Buck just barely managed to keep himself from saying, ‘yeah, me too’. “That’s so cool! So, theoretically, if you were trying to get ahold of Chris or his dad, what would you do?”

“Call the daycare,” Denny said without hesitation. It was a good answer from a kid his age.

“Right, right,” Buck nodded along, passing a napkin to Chris and miming wiping his face with it. “And let’s say the daycare was closed. What would you do then?”

“That’s easy. I’d ask my moms.” Buck wasn’t sure exactly what he expected Denny to say, but calling Hen to make her an accomplice to his fuck-up while her wife was in a life-saving surgery did not sound like a good idea. At all.

“Wow, good call.” Buck swallowed nervously and chuckled. “You’re so smart, no wonder you’re in science day camp. Thanks for playing that little what-if game with me.”

“Buck, is there some reason you’re worried about Chris?”

“No!” Buck said so loudly other people looked over at him and Chris disapprovingly. “Nope. Nada. I don’t even know Chris. Never met him in my life. This was all just hypothetical—like, pretend. Obviously nothing is happening here and everything is fine. Be good for Chimney! Okay, bye.”

“Did Denny ask about me?” Chris chirped happily.

“He sure did, big guy.” This wasn’t technically a lie. Buck had no reason to feel guilty.

“Do you think he wants to be my friend?” Chris’s voice was so earnest, with a trembling undertone of hope, that Buck nearly melted into a puddle right then and there.

“I can’t imagine why anyone wouldn’t want to be your friend,” Buck said honestly.

“Even you?”

“Of course me!” He pressed a hand over his heart. “I would be honored, sir!” He bowed, waving his free hand with a flourish.

Chris ducked his head and giggled. There was a smear of pasta sauce on one of the lenses of his glasses.

“You’re a really cool firefighter, though.” Chris was still smiling, loosely slumped into the booth, looking totally unconcerned despite his argument.

“Well, you’re a really cool kid.” Buck shrugged. He grabbed another napkin and leaned across the table to wipe at Chris’s face while the kid wriggled away like an eel.

“I’m all done with my pizza. Can we go get ice cream? Dad always gets me ice cream.” This was wildly unconvincing, but Buck could actually really go for some ice cream. Besides, if Chris’s dad was pissed about his kid getting all hopped up on sugar before bed he really should have come to pick him up on time like he was supposed to. Thus decided, Buck returned to de-saucing Chris as best he could before returning him to the Jeep’s familiar embrace.

Chapter Text

Chris got a cotton candy explosion sundae with gummy bears on top while Buck opted for a classic single scoop of mint chocolate chip. He was not a growing boy and he had a physique to maintain. 

The selection for the hot firefighter calendar was only a few months away and he was determined to be chosen. It had been one of his inspirations for becoming a firefighter—not that he would ever be sharing that fact with anyone. Especially since his nosy coworkers would absolutely want to know what he was doing with a hot firefighter calendar, and that little tidbit was between him and the bottom drawer of his night stand, thank you very much.

“That’s my dad’s favorite, too,” Chris informed him. “But I think mint stuff tastes like toothpaste.” He scrunched up his face like he was tasting something nasty for a second. “I bet you guys would be best friends.”

“Uh, I don’t know about that one, bud.” Buck forced a chuckle. He could get along with just about anyone—but he doubted he’d have much in common with a middle-aged (possibly divorced) single father.

Like you didn’t have much in common with Abby? He shook his head to clear the thought away. As much as he loved her, and thought he could have something real with her, he was glad he didn’t move into her place when they talked about it. It would have killed him inside every day, waiting around for her to come back like a dog abandoned at the pound.

The next person I try to date should have more in common with me, he decided. A first responder, someone stable who won’t run when things get hard, but with a goofy side who gets all my jokes and never gets tired of listening to me ramble about my latest research rabbit hole. Maybe I can meet someone when I go for the calendar photoshoots.

A brief little fantasy of meeting another hot firefighter and hitting it off while they both cuddled adoptable puppies, shirtless, floated through Buck’s mind for a second.

All too soon he shook his head to clear the image. The idea was a little too optimistic, even for him. He was more likely to find an eligible person on an app than through some elaborate meet-cute scenario that sounded like the start of a 90’s rom-com.

I’m bisexual, I have lots of options, he reminded himself. It had been his motto ever since Abby told him that she was breaking her lease if he wasn’t going to take it over while she traveled. He had known then that she wasn’t coming back, even if she refused to say it. Buck had skipped town enough times to recognize the signs.

When the last of their ice cream was smeared in drips and drops across the picnic table outside the ice cream parlor they had chosen, Chris sighed.

“It really sucks my dad isn’t here right now.” Chris shook his head, lower lip pouting out. “Because he was gonna take me to Build-A-Bear after dinner today. Oh well, I guess we can’t go without him.” His eyes darted to Buck’s face quickly before refocusing on the empty bowl of ice cream in front of him.

“Man, it really seems like you and your pops had a full day planned.” Buck collected their trash and stood to toss it. “Build-A-Bear? Really? Are you sure?”

“Yeah. That’s what we would do,” Chris said seriously, “if my dad were here.”

Buck checked his watch. It was well past seven P.M. but that didn’t necessarily mean Mr. Diaz wouldn’t be coming. They probably just had a little extra time to kill. And the closest mall was only like fifteen minutes away. It wasn’t like they would be going far. And, more importantly, Buck didn’t have any better ideas.

“Alright,” Buck clapped his hands excitedly. “Let’s go build some bears!”  An instant smile flared up on Chris’s face. 

When Chris reached for him, Buck swung the kid up into his arms and carried him through the parking lot.

“Buck! Look!” Chris pointed excitedly to the car parked next to theirs. It was a bright yellow Jeep with half a dozen ducks proudly displayed on the dash. “They play the duck game too!”

“They sure do, buddy. And, hey, it looks like they left us a gift.” He nodded to his own Jeep, an irrepressible smile overtaking his face as Chris gasped. Tucked up by the windshield wipers was a rubber duck in a green camo army uniform. 

Buck had only been ducked five or six times (he wasn’t too proud to admit he’d bought a couple cool looking ducks for himself). For this to happen while he had Christopher felt like the universe was speaking to him. Telling him he was doing the right thing by taking care of this kid for a little while.

Buck leaned forward, holding Chris out carefully so he could grab their new friend off the hood.

“This is so cool!” Chris said enthusiastically. “We have to leave them a duck back. That’s how the game works, right?”

“Absolutely.” Buck walked them around to the back of the Jeep, popping open the trunk. Inside, next to his gym bag and his kit full of jumper cables and emergency supplies, was his box of ducks. 

“Pick out a good one.” Buck set Christopher inside the Jeep, watching fondly as he crawled over to the box and started pulling out ducks. No two were the same—it was just a basic fifty count variety pack. But it might as well have been buried treasure for how much Chris was enjoying himself.

Finally, the kid settled on a duck made to look like a giraffe. Buck picked Chris up under his arms, holding him steady so he could balance the duck perfectly on the side mirror of the neighboring Jeep.

Unable to resist, Buck snapped a quick selfie of the two of them with the precariously perched toy.

“This is the best day ever.” Chris beamed as Buck buckled him back into his seat.

“I couldn’t agree more,” Buck said honestly. He’d always liked kids, but who knew hanging out with them would be so fun?

It didn’t take long for Buck to realize he had made a huge tactical error by not googling how much Build-A-Bear stuffies actually cost. Naive as a newborn babe, Buck set Chris loose in the store and told him he could get whatever he wanted.

Chris chose a Dia De Los Muertos bear with embroidered skeleton face paint.

“It’s my second favorite holiday after Christmas,” Chris explained smartly. “Easter is third. You get lots of candy on Easter, especially from Bisabuela.” 

But what teddy bear would be complete without a voice box that made it roar like a T-rex? Not Christopher Diaz’s, that was for sure. And of course, Chris made big puppy eyes at the birthday cake scent option until Buck caved and added that as well. From then on he didn’t even put up a fight about the mariachi-themed outfit or the thick black glasses to help the bear match his owner.

It was over $60 for one stuffed animal.

Which wouldn’t have been that bad if Buck had the self restraint necessary to say no to choose a mothman plushie for himself. Or the firefighter clothes for it. Or the lavender scent add-on. He carefully placed the heart inside his bear, feeling his own pulse racing at the thought that he was really creating a new friend. A new life. It was silly.

“What are you going to name him?” Chris asked.

“Mothra,” Buck said confidently. “What about yours?”

“Hmm.” Chris crumpled his brow, looking at his bear seriously. “I’m going to name him Giraffe,” he announced confidently a moment later. “So he can help me remember how much fun we had today.” He beamed at Buck. And, man, if Buck wasn’t a goner already, he would have been at that moment.

He’d buy Chris a hundred Build-A-Bears if he wanted them. Sure, Buck had been budgeting to buy a bigger TV for his new place, but how important was that compared to the joy of a child? The TV could wait for next month.

On the way out of the mall (with Buck carrying their bubble teas with the bursting boba Chris just had to try, a bag of cotton candy shaped like a flower, and both their bears), Chris stopped unexpectedly in the parking lot.

“That truck looks like my dad’s.”

“Do you think it’s really his?” Buck peered at the nondescript black truck, looking for clues. He couldn’t tell if he was hoping or dreading the answer.

“No,” Chris said glumly. “It just reminds me of him.”

“I’m sorry, buddy.” Buck wanted nothing more than to reach out and pat the kid comfortingly on the back, but both his hands were full.

“We should leave the truck a duck.” The idea perked Chris up enormously. “It’s not just Jeeps right? Anybody can have a duck?”

“Well, technically, I guess there aren’t really any rules…” Buck let the sentence drift off as Chris began speed-walking toward their car. He was surprisingly fast when he was motivated, the crutches operating smoothly as a part of his body.

“Ducks for everybody!” Chris shouted gleefully.

Buck sighed and jogged after him, even as he smiled. He mentally added a new box of ducks to his budget. It would be worth it.

By the time ducking random cars lost its appeal, Chris was sagging in Buck’s arms, head tilted back against his shoulder so he could look at the dark, murky swathe of sky above them.

“I miss the stars,” Chris said quietly. “Texas had so many stars. Sometimes Dad and I would sit out under them and he would tell me about constellations. It made him not feel so far away. But there are no stars in L.A.”

“There are plenty of stars here,” Buck said automatically. “You just can’t see them very well because of the light pollution and the smog.” As he returned Chris to the Jeep, he glanced at his dark, silent phone screen. No missed calls. No texts from random numbers enquiring about Chris’s location.

“The observatory is only twenty minutes away,” he said out loud before he could think better of it. It would be educational. Practically a field trip. What would be the harm in one more stop? There was no point in driving back to the dark daycare and waiting for someone to show up, which was Buck’s only other plan.

In a way, Buck reasoned, isn’t it my duty to make sure Chris has some enrichment that doesn't involve carbs, sugar, or toys?

“The observatory?” Chris said curiously. “What’s that?”

“I’ve never actually been there, but that’s where you go to look at the stars.” Buck had stood outside of it once and debated going in, back when he had been on a week-long information binge about comets. In the end, he left because everyone around him was there with their family. It felt weird to go alone.

“I wanna see it,” Chris said eagerly. “Do you think it’ll be as good as Texas?”

“Psh,” Buck scoffed. “Of course! It’s one of the best observatories in the world. You’ll see, Chris. L.A. has a lot of really cool stuff. Way cooler than boring old Texas.”

He wasn’t sure why he was so invested in making sure that Chris was happy in his new home. It was too sad to consider that this sweet kid could be in the city where Buck had found a real home for the first time, feeling like he was missing out on the good stuff. Buck would show him. It was, afterall, what any good temporary accidental babysitter would do.

Griffith Observatory was beautiful. It was a white building with three huge dark domes in different sizes, set up high on a hill in Griffith Park. The eyes of the observatory may have been peering up at outer space, but the L.A. skyline made for a beautiful backdrop. 

“The universe is over thirteen billion years old,” Buck explained to Chris, gesturing wildly with his hands as they entered the observatory. They got in line to pay for tickets while Buck went on lecturing his rapt, captive audience. “And there are so many stars it’s literally impossible to count all the galaxies—there are more galaxies than grains of sand on Earth. The stars we can see are only a teeny tiny fraction of what’s really out there. Isn’t that crazy?”

“Wow.” Chris’s eyes were wide, eyebrows high and mouth agape as he thought about it. “Do you think there’s a galaxy run by rubber ducks?”

“Hmm,” Buck pretended to think about that, holding back his amusement as much as he could. “I guess anything’s possible. And some of the planets we know about are really strange. Did you know on Venus it snows metal?”

“No way!” Chris gasped gleefully.

“He’s absolutely right,” the woman behind the desk said happily. Apparently it was their turn in the line. Buck had been so distracted with space facts that he didn’t even notice. “Are you going to see any of the programs while you’re here?  The Tesla Coil Demonstration starts in six minutes, but I think you can make it if you move fast.”

“I wanna see a Tesla Coil!” Chris chirped.

“Do you know what that is?” Buck asked, surprised.

“Well, no, but it’s got a cool name.” Chris shrugged. “It sounds like something Dr. Doofenshmirtz would make. He’d probably call it the Tesla Coilinator, though.”

Buck had no idea who that was but the woman behind the desk snorted as she took Buck’s card to pay for their tickets.

See? Buck thought spitefully at Chris’s anonymous, absent mom. Everyone thinks this kid is the cutest, coolest, funniest guy around.

After getting a very quick rundown of where the Tesla Coil demonstration was, Buck picked up Chris, jogging across the observatory so they wouldn’t be late.

“Faster,” Chris giggled. “C’mon, Buck, they won’t let us in if we interrupt the teacher!” This was patently untrue. Buck was pretty sure people wandered in late all the time to these sorts of public programs. But Chris was having too much fun being bounced around in Buck’s arms, carried like a little prince.

The Tesla coil was bigger than Buck expected, held inside a huge Faraday cage. The man leading the demonstration talked about safety and fire hazards and other boring stuff before finally turning the machine on.

“Oh,” Chris breathed out in awe. “It’s lightning.”

“Cool, huh?” Buck was feeling pretty smug at this point. Not ten minutes in and this trip to the observatory was already turning out to be a hit.

Once the Tesla coil fun had been exhausted, they followed the crowd to the Signs of Life presentation to learn about what it took to create life in the universe and where scientists have been looking—or want to look—to find life on other planets.

“We have to come back here sometime,” Chris mumbled into Buck’s shoulder as they left.

“Sure, buddy.” There was a lump in Buck’s throat just thinking about it. A life where he wasn’t just a temporary safe haven for a kid with nowhere to go for a few hours. He wanted to be someone Chris—or his dad—could call up to go hang out at the observatory. He wanted it with a fierceness that totally took him by surprise. 

In the back of his head he’d always figured one day he’d have a family of his own but he’d never really sat down and thought about what he wanted or how to get it. Buck was more of a doer than a thinker, research rabbit holes aside. Internal reflection wasn’t really his strong suit. But now he was beginning to wonder. 

Was it time for Buck to seriously start planning for his future or even just try to figure out what he really wanted that to look like?

Eh, maybe later, he concluded. It was too depressing to look ahead when all he saw was a life alone.

“Where to next?” Chris asked happily. He was buckled into the backseat, though he had refused to take off his new Griffith Observatory baseball cap. Buck had known it was a bad idea to wander by the gift shop on their way out ‘just to see’. But what was life for if not the occasional bad idea?

“I think we have to stop by Target,” Buck said slowly. “It’s getting kind of late and we don’t have any overnight stuff for you.”

At this point, Buck couldn’t pretend anyone was coming for Chris any time soon.

When the daycare opens in the morning we can get ahold of his dad and laugh about this whole mix-up, Buck assured himself. 

For right now, from what little he knew about kids, bedtime was serious business. The display in the Jeep cheerfully informed him that it was nine thirty. That seemed a bit late for a kid as little as Chris to be up.

“We get to have a sleepover?” Chris leaned forward excitedly, grabbing onto the seatbelt with both hands. 

“Sure do, buddy.” Buck just hoped he was doing the right thing.

The Target by Buck’s apartment was dead when they walked in. A few sleepy-looking cashiers leaned against their registers, tapping away on their phones as they waited for customers.

“Can we get chips?” Chris asked immediately.

“No,” Buck said regretfully. “We’ve had a lot of junk food today. Healthy snacks only.”

How important are macronutrients for kids? Buck fretted. His interest in nutrition had both stopped and begun at learning what it took to achieve a lean bulk. Big biceps and a low body fat percentage were the name of the game. It made him feel good to look good, but actual health was never a consideration. For Chris, he wanted to do better even if he wasn’t exactly sure how.

I probably should have made him eat a vegetable with his pizza. But it was too late to worry about that now.

Chris pouted, but Buck didn’t let that stop him. They were on a mission.

“We need pajamas,” Buck redirected, gently guiding Chris toward the kids section with a hand on his back. “Why don’t you pick out a pair you like?”

While Chris was distracted combing through PJs for the coolest ones he could find, Buck made a list on his phone.

1. Tooth brush
2. Kids toothpaste (not mint?)
3. Kids shampoo and conditioner
4. Healthy snacks (allergies???)

After a moment of thinking it over, Buck felt good about this list. He would have to throw Chris’s clothes in the wash so they would be clean for daycare tomorrow, but that was fine. 

Spiderman PJs acquired, Chris was quick to guide Buck to the Sparkle Dragon flavored toothpaste. Judging by his excitement, this was not something Mr. Diaz regularly bought for him. After looking at the price—more than five times what Buck’s regular toothpaste cost—he was pretty sure he knew why.

Hair care products held no interest for Chris, which meant Buck made an executive decision to grab some Suave. Not only because it was what he remembered from his own childhood, but also because it was actually reasonably priced.

Predictably, the snack aisle was where they once again ran into trouble. Buck wanted Chris to have something healthy to take with him to daycare. Just in case. Chris wanted cookies.

“Dad would get me chocolate chip,” Chris whined.

Buck looked around, rubbing his palms against his jeans as he wondered how to handle this. There was no scenario where he wanted to explain to store security why he was carting around a crying, screaming six year old he had no legal authority over.

“Let’s compromise,” Buck said reasonably. “We can have cookies but only if we make them from scratch. And you have to bring the applesauce and protein snack pack for snack tomorrow.”

“Really?” Chris asked, wide-eyed. “You’d let me help? I’ve never got to bake anything before. Dad doesn’t even know how to turn on the oven, I’m pretty sure.”

“We can learn together,” Buck assured him, pulling up a recipe on his phone. “It can’t be that hard. And this way it’s educational.”

To be honest, he was banking on Chris forgetting all about this the moment they got back to his apartment. Or possibly falling asleep in the car.

What Buck’s apartment lacked in spare bedrooms and square footage it more than made up for with an open floor plan and granite countertops.

Chris stopped, looking around, and then asked Buck, “This looks fancy. Do you really know how to cook?”

“Uh, kinda?” Buck rubbed the back of his neck, staring down the pile of bags on his kitchen island and wondering where to get started putting them all away. “My boss has been teaching me, but we haven’t gotten past breakfast yet.”

After a long moment of observation, Chris said, “My dad is a terrible cook. Maybe you can teach him?” The sly little smile was back, but this time Buck couldn’t figure out for the life of him what Chris was after.

“We’ll see about that, buddy,” Buck hedged. He wasn’t sure how these things usually went. However, it didn’t seem very likely that Mr. Diaz would want to be besties with the stranger who sort-of-kind-of babysat his son at a secondary location without permission.

“Well, if you teach me how to make cookies, I can teach him,” Chris said reasonably.

Buck should have known better than to hope he would forget. Still, this seemed like what Bobby might call a teachable moment.

“Let’s set out the ingredients.” Buck pulled out a bag of flour from their purchases and set it on the island by way of example. “This is called the mise en place. It’s the most important step.”

“Okay,” Chris said skeptically.

Privately, Buck was a little skeptical himself—not about the mise en place, Bobby taught him that and Bobby was rarely wrong when it came to food. No, Buck was more concerned about where Chris would put any cookies they managed to make. For such a tiny thing he was a black hole when it came to sugar and carbs.

Once he got warmed up, Chris loved helping out in the kitchen. It took them probably twice as long as it should have for them to get the cookies in the oven, but they were smiling through the whole process and that was more important.

Half an hour later, dusted in white thanks to an incident with the flour, the pair took turns in the bathroom and then snuggled up in their PJs on the couch. It was way late now, but the only thing close to a bedtime story Buck had to offer was his Netflix account.

The steaming cookies smelled like heaven on the plate in front of them. A warm bouquet of vanilla and chocolate wafted through the whole apartment. Even Buck’s full stomach gave a yearning grumble.

“Not until they’re cooled down,” he warned Christopher sternly. As a firefighter, the very least he could do was make sure the kid didn’t get burned on his watch. 

Ignoring Chris's pout, he turned on the TV and clicked through until he found what he was looking for.

“How do you feel about watching Spirited Away?” Buck asked.

Chris shrugged, noncommittal. “Never seen it.”

“Oh my God, you’re in for a treat.” Pressing the button, Buck sat back and watched the opening credits roll.

It took a few minutes, but Chris was inevitably enraptured by the magic and the imagination of the movie. Buck watched the kid’s eyelids flutter closed and snap open a few times before the exhaustion of the day won out barely fifteen minutes into the movie.

With infinite care he laid Chris down on the couch, propping his head on a spare pillow and covering him with his softest blanket. Giraffe the bear found a safe haven tucked under Chris’s arm. 

Buck bagged up the cookies, cleaned up the kitchen, and threw Chris’s clothes in the building’s communal washer. It was after quiet hours but passive aggressive notes from his neighbors were nothing compared to Chris being comfortable and cared for.

For once, Buck was completely, perfectly, totally clear on what he was supposed to do. He had actual responsibilities that did not involve an ax or a hose. It felt amazing.

Buck was sleep deprived, running on three cups of coffee, and happily humming under his breath as he cooked breakfast the next morning.

“Are those pancakes?” were Chris’s first groggy words of the day.

“Blueberry pancakes with bananas and a side of eggs and bacon,” Buck said proudly. True, there were still no vegetables, but this seemed like the sort of wholesome meal the kids on TV always had. “Go brush your teeth and get changed before we eat, okay? Your clothes are on the end table.” He nodded to the crisply folded, freshly washed outfit Chris had worn yesterday.

“Ugh,” the kid griped. “Mornings suck.”

“And don’t forget to pack your toothpaste in your bag when you’re done!” Buck called after him.

“Ugh,” Chris grumbled as Buck hustled him out of the Jeep. Buck kept a careful hand between his shoulder blades as they walked down the sidewalk to the coffee shop. The cheerful red and white sign welcomed them to Cup of Love Cafe as Buck steered him inside.

“Couldn’t you have made coffee at home?” Chris grumped. “Why’d I have to wake up early for this?”

“You’ll see, Superman.” Buck smiled, despite himself, even as Chris narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

“Buck!” the frazzled older woman behind the counter called. “You came back!”

“Sorry, Pam.” Buck grimaced. “I can’t stay today. Precious cargo to deliver.” He touched Chris’s shoulder demonstratively. 

Pam’s shoulder slumped. “Of course,” she said. “What can I get you and the little man?”

“The usual for me and a Kid-accino for Chris.”

“Kid-accino?” Christ asked, looking up with interest for the first time since they entered the shop.

“He’s not a morning person.” Buck winked at Pam. 

Her cheeks flushed a little pinker as she smiled back.

Buck stepped forward to hand over his card but Pam waved him off. “You know your money's no good here, Firefighter Buckley.” Her voice was teasing but firm.

Buck sucked on his teeth, putting his wallet away reluctantly. “Can’t blame me for trying.”

“Is she your friend?” Chris asked.

Buck shrugged. “Kinda. But you’re my best friend.”

The kid giggled at that, looking pleased. He looked even more pleased when Pam called them over to collect their order a minute later.

“That’s mine?” Chris said in awe, looking at the red to-go cup with his name written on the side. It was piled high with whipped cream, sprinkled with cinnamon beneath a plastic dome. Steam slowly curled up through the red and white striped paper straw stuck through the center.

“Absolutely,” Buck said enthusiastically. “We both need something to get us going in the morning, right?” He punctuated this statement by taking a long sip of his own double shot Macchiato with caramel drizzle.

“Right,” Chris said happily.

The Kid-accino was mostly steamed milk with some hot chocolate, but it might as well have been solid gold given how big Chris smiled the rest of the way to the daycare.

Buck double and triple checked Chris’s backpack to make sure he had everything he needed: Giraffe the bear, the army guy rubber duck, the fancy toothpaste, his new pajamas, the healthy snacks, and a ziplock bag with a single chocolate chip cookie Buck had snuck in there when Chris wasn’t looking.

“You’re going to have soooo much fun at science day camp,” Buck told him. It was hard to hide how choked up he was getting. Which was ridiculous because this wasn’t even his kid.

“Yeah,” Chris said easily. “I know.”

“And listen, if your dad doesn’t come pick you up again…”

“I won’t fall asleep this time, don’t worry, Buck. Dad will be here.” He said it with such certainty it was hard for Buck to contradict him.

“Right.” Buck cleared his throat. “But, just in case, I want you to have them call Denny’s moms if he doesn’t come. Hen’s best friend is a police officer, a really good one, and she’ll know how to get you home.”

He wanted to give Chris his number. It was on the tip of his tongue to promise that he would come back, that he would always take care of the kid, no matter what. But that wasn’t how the real world worked. Buck had no right to this kid except for a vaguely criminal temporary accident of custody. Once Chris was back where he belonged, the two of them would never be in the same room again.

“Alright,” Chris shrugged. “See you later, Buck!”

And just like that he was out of the Jeep and through the daycare doors, laughing and waving at his friends.

Buck’s brief stint as a responsible adult was over.

It broke his heart.

Chapter Text

For once, Eddie Diaz was having a pretty great day. Not only had someone tipped him $50 as he tended bar last night—thanks entirely to the good jeans Sophia bought him last Christmas—but he’d also gotten a solid six hours of sleep before his shift at the Fire Academy. Best of all, Chris was all smiles when Eddie came to pick him up.

“Dad!” he screamed with glee, as if he hadn’t seen Eddie in a couple years rather than a couple days. 

Eddie scooped his son up, kissing his temple and swinging him around the way Chris loved. Those sweet giggles were worth a hundred years of lost sleep.

It killed him a little bit more each day, spending so much time away from the one person he loved most in the world. But this was what Eddie had to do to provide the life Chris deserved and afford the services and accommodations he needed. As soon as he was a full-fledged firefighter he could drop the second job and finally, finally get some quality time with his kid.

“Can we watch Spirited Away when we get home?” Chris asked as soon as Eddie’s truck was on the road.

Eddie’s brow quirked even as he smiled at his son’s bright enthusiasm.

“I haven’t seen that one,” Eddie admitted, “but I’m pretty sure it’s a kids’ movie so it should be fine. Did one of your primos or primas mention it?” Sometimes Pepa’s grandkids stayed over with her too, though she usually made a point of letting Eddie and Chris know if the dates overlapped. Chris always got excited to spend time with the extended family he was only getting a chance to know since the move.

Chris frowned, tilting his head to the side the way he did when he was confused.

“No, my friend Buck showed me.”

“That’s nice.” Eddie was distracted by some asshole cutting him off. When he was able to fully pay attention to Chris again, the boy was off on a tangent about an experiment they were doing next week in science day camp involving Mentos and Pepsi. Eddie made a mental note to make sure he packed an extra outfit with him that day. Just in case.

Once they got home, Chris dumped his backpack by the door, leaving it for Eddie to clean up.

“Chris, we talked about this!” Eddie called after him, exasperated. Shaking his head, he bent down to pick up the bag, frowning when it was quite a bit heavier than he was expecting.

“Sorry, Dad, I have to put Giraffe away first!” Chris shouted from his room.

“Giraffe?” Eddie muttered. He was going to have to take a look at bedtime and make sure whatever toy his son brought home was something the daycare didn’t mind him having. 

Now that he thought back on it, there had been some kind of stuffed animal in Chris’s hands when he buckled him into his carseat, but Eddie had been in such a hurry to beat the terrible rush hour traffic that he hadn’t really given it much thought.

Hadn’t that thing been black? From what he remembered it hadn’t looked like a giraffe, but whatever. Kids were weird. Eddie kind of loved that he never knew what to expect from Chris. Every day was something new.

With a sigh, Eddie lugged the bag into the kitchen, digging out Chris’s little lunch box of snacks to clean it out.

“Applesauce? Carrot sticks?”

Since when does Chris like carrot sticks? Eddie wondered. Tia Pepa was an amazing cook thanks to Abuela’s tutelage. However, they both shared the same mentality that taste was what mattered and nutrition would naturally take care of itself as long as the food was home-cooked.

Smears of peanut butter coated one corner of the lunchbox beside the last remaining couple of carrot sticks. Tia Peppa didn’t keep peanut butter in her house. Elena, one of her grandkids, was badly allergic.

“Hey Chris,” Eddie shouted, “did Tia Pepa give you peanut butter for your snack today? You know you aren’t supposed to bring that to the daycare. It could make one of the other kids sick.” There had been a whole list of things kids weren’t supposed to take with them. Eddie had to sign it. He’d given a copy to Pepa.

“No, Dad. Duh.”

If there was one phase Eddie couldn’t wait for Chris to grow out of it was this ‘duh’ thing.

Don’t react, he told himself. It’ll just encourage him.

“Where’d you get it then?” Eddie called back.

“My friend Buck gave it to me.” Chris appeared in the kitchen, apparently tired of shouting across the house. “It’s Sunbutter! He said it’s totally safe. It’s made out of sunflower seeds, not peanuts. It’s actually pretty good. We should get some for home so you can try it!”

“Maybe,” Eddie said skeptically. Personally, he liked regular old peanut butter just fine. But if it made Chris happy…

“You and Buck seem like you’re pretty close.” Eddie finished cleaning out the lunchbox and set it on the rack to dry.

“He’s so cool! I want to be just like him when I grow up,” Chris said dreamily.

Eddie frowned. That was an odd thing to say about a boy he met at daycare. 

“Is Buck an older kid?” Eddie didn’t recall Chris mentioning any friends with such an odd name. “Is that why you want to be like him when you’re grown?”

He started digging in the backpack, trying to see what made it heavier than usual as something itched at his brain. He pulled out a set of pajamas he’d never seen before—easy enough to explain away, Pepa and Abuela bought Chris clothes all the time—and then that god awful expensive toothpaste Chris kept asking for.

Okay, now this is getting a little weird, Eddie thought to himself.

“Buck’s a firefighter,” Chris explained brightly.

Were they playing house or something? Eddie’s brow crumpled in confusion. Nothing seemed to be adding up.

“He wants to be a firefighter when he grows up?” Eddie guessed.

“No, silly, he’s already grown up. He’s already a firefighter, just like you’re going to be! And he can make really good cookies.”

“Buck…works at the daycare?” Eddie was really lost now.

“Dad.” Christopher sighed like he was dealing with a child that just wouldn’t listen. “He works as a firefighter.”

“Did he come to the daycare to give a presentation or something?” Eddie was hopelessly grasping at straws, trying to understand. How could Chris have possibly met an adult, gotten to know the guy well enough for him to be giving Chris food without anyone telling Eddie? “Is he one of your friends’ dads?”

“No. Well, he’s friends with Denny’s moms or something?” Chris tilted his head to the side, lips pressed together like he was thinking hard before he shrugged. “He came to pick up Denny last night because one of Denny’s moms was sick. But he thought I was Denny!” Chris burst out in giggles. “You should have seen his face when I told him he had the wrong kid! We tried to call you but I didn’t remember the number.”

“Okay,” Eddie said faintly. “Okay. Okay.” By the third repetition he lost the ability to take full breaths. A few seconds later he was clutching his painfully racing heart, a feeling of unspeakable doom washing over him as black spots danced in his vision. 

Eddie Diaz, the man who had stayed cool under literal gunfire, was on the verge of having a panic attack. With the force of a habit cultivated over a lifetime, Eddie pushed everything he was feeling down into a little box inside himself. He couldn’t freak out in front of his son. He wouldn’t.

He glanced over Chris with sharper eyes, noticing for the first time that his kid was wearing the same clothes he’d had on yesterday. 

“Are you telling me you spent the night at the daycare?” Eddie asked slowly. “Buck took you back and Tia Pepa never came to pick you up and they just, what, locked you in?” It wouldn’t explain the bear but there was no way Tia Pepa would let Chris go out in clothes he’d already worn. Chris had like three boxes of stuff to choose from at her house and about five more at Abuela’s. 

“No, but that would be cool. Like Home Alone! I stayed with my friend Buck last night.”

Chris recounted all the fun things he and Buck had done together. 

Eddie’s mind was a haze of screaming static. His son was right here, happy and healthy in front of him. Fully accounted for. Whatever had happened, his kid was okay. But that couldn’t fully calm the swelling tide of panic over the thought that he had been taken somewhere without Eddie’s permission. And Eddie hadn’t even known. It was a nightmare from the darkest parts of his mind coming to life—except in his dreams it was usually his parents whisking Chris away. 

“And then we went to the observa-obers—observatory?” Chris looked at Eddie for confirmation. All Eddie could do was nod as Chris rambled on about all he had learned about stars and science and the stuff life was made out of.

A stranger is a better parent to my own kid than I am, Eddie thought faintly. He almost wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it all. Carrot sticks and Tesla coils and expensive toothpaste and home baked cookies—Eddie couldn’t compete with that. Where the hell did this guy come from?

“So this guy just…took you home with him?” Eddie asked, interrupting an apparently hilarious story about Buck accidentally ripping a bag of flour and covering them both in the white powder.

For the first time, Chris hesitated, looking a little unsure. “He kept saying you were gonna call because he left a note on the door of the daycare with his phone number. But I knew you were busy working. That’s okay,” Chris said quickly. He must have seen the devastation on Eddie’s face.

My son thought I wouldn’t come for him, Eddie mourned. Because I didn’t. He couldn’t afford to spiral about that now. But after Chris went to bed…the next time Eddie was alone with his thoughts. Yeah. He knew it was coming.

“Buck took really good care of me.”

“And you felt safe? You felt safe the entire time?” Because it didn’t really matter what Eddie felt about his own failings. The only thing that mattered was this—had the person he loved most in the world been hurt because of them?

“Duh!” Chris said with a big sunny smile. “Buck would never let anything bad happen to me. Oh!” His bright blue eyes lit up even further. “Maybe when you become a firefighter the two of you can work together and he can keep you safe too! He’s really cool, Dad, and he can cook really good. I know you guys would be best friends!”

“Uhh.” Eddie squinted, tilting his head to the side as he sucked on his teeth. “Yeah, buddy, I don’t know about that one.”

“That’s funny,” Chris said around a perplexed smile. “That’s what he said too.”

Eddie kept things light during dinner, despite the burning desire to ask more questions. He didn’t want to upset Christopher. Honestly, the kid looked happier than Eddie had seen him in a while.

Still, when Christopher drifted off to sleep clutching Giraffe, Eddie stayed up, tossing and turning until the sun rose.

As soon as it was a reasonable hour, the first thing Eddie did was call Pepa.

“Hey, Tía.” Eddie tried to make his voice sound casual. “I just wanted to double check this week’s pickup schedule for Chris. Do you have your daybook handy?”

“Ay,” Pepa tutted. “Let me look. When will you come out here and see about my washing machine. It’s making the noise again.”

“Soon, I promise.” Eddie waited, barely able to breathe until she had cracked open the book. The sound of rifling pages whispered on the other end of the line.

“This week I’m getting him from the daycare on Thursday and keeping him until Sunday, correct?”

Eddie closed his eyes, forcing himself to take a deep breath. He had been hoping for some exclamation of dismay. Any sign that she had known about the extra shift he picked up last night. Eddie could have forgiven an honest mistake on her part a lot easier than he could forgive himself for forgetting to make sure Chris would be taken care of.

He must not have told her. This was all his fault. He let down his son. Again.

Resting against the side of the daycare, near the front door, was a half-melted piece of paper. It was well into the process of fusing with the blacktop, half-hidden between a crushed Coke can and a sprinkling of snubbed cigarette butts. 

For Chris Diaz call:

Eddie stopped and stared at it, amazed that he hadn’t noticed it last time he’d been there, rushed as he’d been to pick up his son.

The thing was too fragile to pick up even if Eddie had wanted to—which he very much did not. He took a picture on his phone, nodding to himself when he was sure that all digits of the phone number were visible.

He took a deep breath before he walked into the daycare. He wasn’t going to yell. After calmly explaining why Christopher would not be returning to their care, Eddie would request a refund for the remaining week of science day camp. That would be that.

For the first time in his life, Eddie had the dubious honor of being permanently banned from a daycare. Which, okay, he had lost his temper a little. But they sent his fucking six year old home with a stranger so it was more than justified. Frankly, they were the ones who should be banned. So, there.

Chris was heartbroken and refusing to speak to him, but he’d forget about it as soon as school started. Sometimes being a dad meant being the bad cop, which sucked. But it was a role Eddie was more than happy to play as long as it kept Chris safe and healthy.

Even as the phone was ringing in his hand, Eddie had no idea what he expected to happen. 

Part of him felt like this had to be a fake number. Like whoever took Chris—Buck could not have been his real name—had done so with the intent to steal the world’s best kid as his own and only given him back at the last plausible opportunity in a fit of well-deserved guilt.

“Go for Buck,” came the cheery voice on the other end of the line.

Eddie was silent for a moment, his brain a jumble of panicked static. 

What do you say to the man who kidnapped your son, parented him better than you ever have, and then returned him happier than ever without being asked?

Eddie had a million questions but they all scattered shyly to the recesses of his mind when confronted with the actual reality of the guy Chris talked about like he was a superhero.

“Abby?” Buck’s voice trembled breathlessly into the silence between them.

“No,” he said tonelessly. “This is Eddie Diaz.”

“Diaz?” Buck’s voice perked up. “Chris’s dad? You’ve got him, right? I’ve been so worried, man.”

“You’ve been worried?” Eddie snapped. It might not have been his finest trait, but he got mean when he was feeling defensive.

Buck hissed a breath. “Yeah. Okay, I deserved that.”

“You took him.” Eddie’s voice trembled, his breath short and shallow.

“Um, I didn’t plan to? It just kinda…worked out that way. But, uh, you-you have to know I, uh, I’m really s-sorry if I s-scared you. I just—we kept waiting for you to call and I thought calling the cops would scare him and I know I probably should have done it anyway but he was safe with me. I promise you, on my life, Eddie, I swear he was so safe with me. Eddie?”

The world tunneled in front of him, the edges of Eddie’s vision going dark. A steel band crushed his ribs. His suddenly aching throat strangled any air that tried to infiltrate his lungs. Standing stupidly in his living room on the phone to a man he should probably have arrested, he was going to die. The weight of his failures pressed down on him, an insurmountable heap of stones.

“Breathe,” Buck commanded gently. “It’s okay. I’m here. Just breathe for me, Eddie. You’re safe. Chris is safe. Take a nice deep breath.”

Miraculously, he did.

Buck talked him through the panic, voice soft and unhurried. Never once did he sound impatient or judgemental. Against all reason and logic, Eddie felt safe, clinging to his phone as if he could press the man’s voice closer.

“I’ve got you,” Buck promised.

I can’t afford to believe him, Eddie told himself firmly. I wouldn’t be having a panic attack at all if not for what he did. He’s a stranger.

“We need to meet in person.” Eddie tried to make his voice firm despite the fact that he was still shaking. “To talk about Chris and what happened.”

“Of course,” Buck agreed readily. Guilessly. He offered up the name of a coffee shop Eddie had passed but never gone inside. A time and date was agreed upon. And then Eddie hung up the same way he called—impulsively, before he was really ready.

Chapter Text

Before he left the house to meet Buck, Eddie did two things. First, and most importantly, he filed a complaint with the California Community Care Licensing Department, reporting the many sins of Little Thinkers Daycare. Second, Eddie promised himself about twenty times in the mirror that he wasn’t going to make a scene. However this conversation with Buck went, they could both handle it like reasonable, mature adults.

Eddie had driven past Cup of Love Cafe a few times in the past week but he’d never really given the little hole in the wall coffee shop a second thought (other than to roll his eyes at the name).

It was 9am on a Saturday when he walked inside, a full half hour before he was supposed to meet the mysterious ‘Buck’. Thankfully, Abuela had been more than happy to take Chris for a few hours. As much as Eddie mourned missing time with his son on a rare day off, this would not be a conversation Chris could be present for.

Partially because there was a significant chance Eddie might have to call the cops on this guy if he turned out to be some kind of weirdo. But Eddie could admit to himself, if never to anyone else, that a large part of it was because of how much Chris seemed to idolize the guy. 

Eddie wasn’t jealous, okay? Just a little irritated that someone with no apparent experience with kids, or kids with disabilities, could swoop in and ace everything. For six years, Eddie had been struggling to be the kind of father who was even halfway worthy of an awesome kid like Chris. If some stranger off the street could do it in less than twenty-four hours, what did that say about Eddie?

Luckily, Eddie had long ago honed a talent for shoving aside thoughts and questions about himself. As a result he was able to almost completely ignore this most recent existential crisis.

He looked around the cafe as he entered, trying to get a sense for why Buck might have chosen this place. It was small, with only about half a dozen tables and a handful of booths. The patrons dotted around revealed nothing. A couple college students with their noses in books, a mother with two kids splitting a muffin that looked more like a cupcake, an old man who rustled his newspaper every few seconds, and two women with matching wedding rings sharing a waffle piled high with strawberries and whipped cream.

Printed coloring book pages of different mandala hearts were tacked up on a corkboard strip that ran along the walls. Some were neatly colored in sparkling gel pen, others were scribbled across by enthusiastic little hands.

The crooked letters of his son’s name stood out against the rest, catching Eddie’s eye. He stepped toward it, eyes locked on the uncanny T-rex Chris had drawn, jaws open wide as if to take a chunk out of the perfectly colored-in purple heart.

Unfortunately, the frazzled looking bus boy chose exactly that moment to turn around with a tray full of dishware. Eddie’s shoulder caught on the man’s, knocking the tray out of his hands with a crash of glass that had everyone in the place looking at them.

“I’m so sorry,” Eddie said immediately, holding out his hands despite it being far too late for him to catch the glasses. 

His face flamed with embarrassment as he caught the sky-blue eyes of the man he’d knocked into. The guy blinked at him, mouth slightly parted with surprise. There was a birthmark over his left eyebrow that made the pink of his lips and the blue of his eyes stand out even more starkly. He had a couple inches on Eddie. Even the man’s broad, muscular build couldn’t quite match his height, making him look oddly gangly. 

An overgrown colt, Eddie thought, all limbs and no coordination. He knew the thought was unfair as soon as it crossed his mind—the bus boy wasn’t the one responsible for the accident, after all.

“Let me clean this up.” Eddie crouched down, even as he offered.

“No, no!” The man knelt heavily, brushing Eddie’s hands away from the shards with no apparent care for his own safety. “I’ve got this, dude, no worries.” His voice was deep, and just a little gravely like he was sleep deprived. It was oddly familiar but Eddie couldn’t place it. He would have remembered if he’d seen a guy like that before.

“Come on.” Eddie threw on one of those charming smiles that tended to get him his own way when he was working at the bar. “It’ll make me feel better if you let me help.”

The guy blushed, ducking his head and looking up through long, pale lashes. “I-I mean, I definitely want you to feel good. Better. I mean. Feel better. B-but, yeah, um, the glass! The glass is really sharp so you probably better let me handle it.”

Eddie was oddly charmed. It was just so cute, seeing such a big guy so flustered, cheeks and lips as bright pink as any rose petal. Sure, Eddie was straight, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t appreciate a man who looked good enough to grace magazine covers. Having someone like that stumble over his words, just because Eddie had put on a vaguely flirtatious smile, was a rush.

“You’re just as likely to cut yourself as I am,” Eddie reminded him. He plucked a few of the larger pieces off the floor, tossing them on top of the tray for easy disposal.

“I have calluses,” the guy argued. He turned his hands palms up to show Eddie. They were large, capable, but oddly soft-looking.

“Uh, not to interrupt,” the woman with the kids called from the other side of the cafe, “but, honestly, you should be using a broom. Just a thought.” Her judgmental facial expression told Eddie everything she wasn’t saying out loud. He flushed harder under her disapproving gaze.

Suddenly, he was glad he’d come so wildly early. At least this way, if he had to cause a scene, he wasn’t doing it in front of the guy he’d come to confront.

The busboy cleared his throat. “Yeah. Broom. Right. I’ll—I’ll go do that.”

Eddie smiled to himself as he watched the man scramble away. 

“Let me pay for that,” Eddie said as soon as he came back. The other man opened his mouth to argue but Eddie beat him to the punch. “It’s only fair. I’d feel terrible if they took this out of your tips or something.”

The busboy snorted a laugh. “I’d have to make tips for that.”

“They don’t let you keep your tips?” Eddie asked indignantly. He lived off the tips from the bar. They were pretty much Christopher’s entire birthday and Christmas fund. “That’s not legal.”

The busboy smiled up at him again, looking pleased that Eddie was upset on his behalf. With obvious reluctance, he lowered his eyes to focus on sweeping up the glass. “To be fair, Pam would probably love it if I took a share of the tips. She’s been trying to get me to take a check since I first offered to help out but I don’t want to take advantage of the situation.”

Eddie put his hands on his hips, lips pressed together and eyebrows lowered in what Chris called his ‘Dad face’. “Take advantage of earning a paycheck for your work?”

The guy giggled, his flush racing down his neck like it was in a hurry to tell his heart a secret.

“I was here a few weeks ago when one of the baristas broke his wrist,” he explained. “This place is really new so Pam and Jake didn’t have anyone to replace him right away. So I promised I would come back and help out sometimes, until they’re able to get another barista trained.” He shrugged, like working for free in his off-time was no big deal.

Eddie shook his head, looking up at the ceiling in disbelief, like that might answer where the hell this guy had come from.

“So, what would you like?” the volunteer busboy-cum-barista asked with a sunny smile.

An answering smile stole across Eddie’s face without his say-so.

I’ll have to come back here, he thought with a giddy thump of his heart. I could use a new friend in L.A. There hadn’t been anyone Eddie would really call a friend since he was shipped back to the States. He had a good feeling about this guy.

“Uh,” Eddie cleared his throat, realizing belatedly that he had been silent too long. “What do you recommend?”

“Oh, definitely the monthly special.” The busboy dumped the last of the glass in the trash.

“You should really have a cardboard box for that, at least,” the woman called out from her booth. The two kids paid no attention to this, scribbling enthusiastically at the coloring pages in front of them. “It’s not safe to dispose of glass in a plastic bag.”

“Right.” The busboy pressed his lips together and pointed to her. “Right. I’ll just take care of that. And then I’ll take care of you.” He batted his eyelashes at Eddie in a way that should have felt incongruous from a man his size. It was so endearing Eddie had to bite down on his tongue to avoid flirting back. A few harmless smiles were one thing, but it would be cruel to push it too far and give the guy the wrong impression.

The busboy reached up on his tiptoes for a cardboard box on a high shelf, his shirt riding up and showing a lean, pale peek of lower back. His spine curled as he leaned over the counter, drawing Eddie’s eyes to the fit of his jeans before snapping back up in time to see his biceps flex as he took the box down and began emptying it out.

If I were gay I’d eat him up and go back for seconds, Eddie thought wildly. What a smoke show, holy fuck.

To preserve his sanity he had to turn his back on the display. He focused instead on the heart Christopher had colored, wondering if it would be weird if he asked the busboy if he could keep it. Surely if he explained that it was his kid’s work, the situation would be understandable?

To kill some time while he waited, Eddie looked over the other hearts. The booth in the back was conspicuously empty which meant Buck hadn’t shown up yet. Eventually Eddie would have to take a seat, but nervous energy was buzzing under his skin to the point where he didn’t think he could tolerate keeping still.

“Hey,” the busboy called softly.

Eddie blinked, turning around to see the to-go cup in the man’s hand.

“The monthly special, as promised.”

“Oh,” Eddie blinked at him, reaching out instinctively to take the drink. “What do I owe you?”

“Nothing,” Buck said quickly. “On the house.”

“Come on, man, I can’t let you do that.” Eddie wanted to though. Boy, did he want to. Most of the time being on the receiving end of this kind of attention just made him feel vaguely uncomfortable. This time? He felt like the sun had finally come out after weeks of overcast weather. He liked this guy.

“Well,” the busboy rubbed the back of his neck. It was a sweet, shy gesture that served the dual purpose of reminding Eddie how toned and thick his biceps were. “I mean, it’s cool if you’re not interested—no expectations or anything—but I kinda wrote my number on your cup? So you could buy me a drink sometime, if you really wanted to return the favor.”

“Look, I’m really flattered—” Eddie looked down at the black sharpie beneath his thumb as he spoke, unable to meet those pretty sky-blue eyes as he let the man down gently. There, in a nauseatingly familiar scrawl, was the name Buck followed by the phone number Eddie had called just a few days ago.

“Buck.” The absurd name choked its way out of Eddie’s throat like a fist coming up from his gut.

“Yeah?” Buck’s voice rose half an octave, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. “It’s really cool if you’re not—I was just—you’ve gotta shoot your shot, right?” He laughed, a forced, uncomfortable sound. “I’ll go.”

“Wait.” Eddie grabbed Buck’s wrist with his free hand before he thought anything through. He had no idea what words were supposed to follow.

He couldn’t agree to go on a date with the man for a host of reasons. Not least among them being that he was straight. But also he couldn’t stand the humiliated slump of Buck’s shoulders. He couldn’t imagine the man was turned down often, and not because of his extremely convincing kicked puppy impression.

“You’re the man I was looking for,” Eddie blurted out, desperate to make some kind of sense of this whole thing.

“I am?” Buck perked up like a recently watered sunflower.

“You kidnapped my son.” Every head in the cafe swiveled their way at once. None of the patrons bothered to hide the shocked fascination in their eyes, or the rapt attention they paid to the conversation.

There goes the idea of not making a scene. Eddie sighed.

Buck froze, wavering on his feet, pink face going pale and eyes wide like some kind of nightmare had sprung to life in front of him. Eddie was intimately familiar with the sensation.

The door flew open with a wild jingle, revealing a bedraggled older woman.

“Buck I’m so sorry I’m late,” she said, brushing greying curls out of her face and power walking behind the counter to where a handful of aprons hung on the wall. 

“You wouldn’t believe the lines at the bank. Oh my God is this him?” She came back around the counter, still tying her apron as her eyes darted up and down Eddie. “He’s too cute. You should have told me it was a date!” She smacked Buck’s shoulder. It was a light, playful gesture. Buck blinked, swallowing hard.

“I’m Pam. I’m one of the owners.” She held out her hand. Not wanting to be rude, Eddie shook it. “Did this guy tell you he’s a firefighter? Came in here like Prince Charming when my barista, Todd slipped on a spilled mochaccino. And he’s been helping out ever since. He’s my hero, to tell you the truth.”

“I’m Eddie. But you should probably know, this isn’t a date,” Eddie corrected with an awkward smile. “I’m here to talk to Buck about my son, actually.” The grin slipped off her face as she took in the tension between him and Buck. She chewed on her lip, glancing down at the coffee cup in Eddie’s hand. The one with the incriminatingly bold sharpie spelling out Buck’s name and number.

Eddie was still trying to figure out what to say to break the awkward silence that fell between the three of them when a chair loudly scraped against the floor at the other end of the cafe.

The woman who heckled them earlier hauled her two kids toward the door, even as they shouted about their coloring pages. 

“I will be taking my business elsewhere, if these are the kinds of people you employ at this establishment,” the woman hissed.

Pam put her hands on her hips, glaring right back at her. “I never took you for a homophobe, Susan,” she sneered. “We have a pride flag sticker on our window, you know. You walked right past it.” Pam pointed imperiously at the little progress pride flag beside the door.

“I don’t care that they’re gays.” Susan whispered the word, her nostrils flaring with offense. “I care that your busboy is a child predator!”

“I’m actually not gay, for the record.” Eddie made a negating gesture with his free hand. “Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay. But I’m from Texas. And I’m straight.”

“I’m not a child predator.” Buck looked on the verge of tears. Big watery blue eyes looked from Susan, to Pam, to Eddie as he wrapped his beefy arms around himself, shrinking down smaller than Christopher’s stuffies once they’d been packed in vacuum bags.

“He’s not,” Eddie was quick to add.

“Well.” Susan sucked on her teeth. She pulled her two kids closer to her sides like Buck was about to lean down and snatch them away in the middle of the cafe. “I won’t be coming back here.”

“Good,” Pam said emphatically. “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”

The three of them watched Susan storm out, the cheerful little bell jingling behind her as the door slammed shut. Eddie felt like the main character on one of those telenovelas he sometimes watched with Chris when they had an evening free.

“Uh, Buck?” Buck whipped his head toward Eddie, eyes wide and afraid. It made cold shame curdle in Eddie’s stomach at the idea that he had put that look on Buck’s face. Despite his initial concerns, now that he’d met the guy for five minutes, he just couldn’t find it in himself to worry that Buck would ever intentionally hurt a kid. As much as he usually felt like he needed to stand on his guard, Eddie felt safe with this guy. And Chris had, too.

“Maybe we can walk and talk.” Eddie nodded his head toward the door, smiling tightly in an effort to show that he wasn’t about to lose his shit.

Buck nodded, eyes on the floor, shoulders hunched. Eddie couldn’t decide if he looked closer to crying or vomiting.

Pam didn’t try to stop them as they left, despite the clear worry on her face.

Their shoulders bumped as they walked down the sidewalk. The first time, Eddie ignored it. The second time he tried to move a bit to the side. By the third time, he had just accepted that either A)Buck simply didn’t know how to walk straight or B)Buck was so desperately in need of physical contact to comfort and validate him that he would seek it even from the person he expected to cause him pain.

Eddie took a deep breath and then a sip of the monthly special—a salted caramel latte of some sort. He’d never ordered anything but black coffee in his life. It was fucking delicious. God damn it.

“Tell me what happened.” Eddie kept his tone even and his eyes ahead. As much as he wanted to listen to his instincts about Buck being a good guy, Eddie was well aware that his decisions couldn’t be based on what he himself wanted. They had to be for Christopher. Everything had to be for Christopher.

The story came pouring out of Buck like a cracked fire hydrant. 

Eddie nodded along, listening acutely for any inconsistencies. Anything that sounded unsafe. Anything that sounded like a lie. Occasionally he took a sip of his drink, letting the salty sweetness roll over his tongue like a secret. 

“I know what I did was wrong and you’d be well within your rights to call the police,” Buck rambled as they stood at a light waiting to cross. “I’m really sorry, Mr. Diaz.”

“Eddie.” Eddie tolerated being called Mr. Diaz at job interviews and Chris’s school functions and that was about it.

“Eddie,” Buck agreed miserably. “And I’m sorry for hitting on you too.” Eddie’s mouth pulled down at that. “It was way out of line. I never would have done it if I realized. I’m not that stupid. I know this is serious.”

“You’re absolutely right, it’s serious. Do you have any idea how much Chris has been talking about you the past three days? Asking if the two of you can hang out again?” Eddie snorted. “That kid hasn’t been this excited about anything since he stuck together his first two Legos.”

“Really?” Buck asked. It was immediate, the change in his face. Sun coming out from behind the clouds.

“Walk, walk, walk,” the electric voice at the light commanded them. They crossed the street without speaking. Eddie didn’t know where they were going but there was a new spring in Buck’s step that made him feel oddly content just to roam.

“You would…you would really let me see Christopher again?” Buck asked with all the hesitant hope of a kid being told there might be a puppy under the tree next Christmas.

“Not so fast.” Eddie held up one finger in warning. “I have conditions.”

“I’m great at conditions,” Buck said enthusiastically.

Eddie pressed his lips together, squinting at the other man’s sunshiney smile.

“That remains to be seen,” Eddie said sternly. He didn’t want to be the bad guy here, but he was on the verge of taking a huge risk in trusting this man and there was nothing Eddie wanted to risk less than Chris.

If Buck wanted to hang around, he was going to have to prove himself. And Eddie wasn’t about to make it easy on him.

Chapter Text

“Eddie! Hi!” Buck sounded breathless on the other end of the phone. Eddie bit his lip, wondering for possibly the fiftieth time if he’d made the right decision by calling the guy. It had only been a week since they met at the coffee shop and Eddie had promised to give Buck a chance to prove that he was trustworthy, really, and the kidnapping had been a one-off.

“Where are you right now?” Eddie asked, stalling. He stuck his free hand in the pocket of his uniform pants, fiddling with a random Lego he’d been carrying around all day. He must have picked it up off the floor at some point and shoved it in his pocket without thinking.

“Oh, you mean the noise?” Buck was half shouting to be heard. “We got called out to a construction site. Apparently they’re on a strict deadline even when the foreman has a heart attack.”

“You’re answering your phone on a call?” Eddie frowned disapprovingly even though Buck wasn’t there to see it. 

“Relax, I already pulled him out of the cement. The rest of the call is all just medical stuff. They don’t need me for that.” He actually sounded put out. “Where are you?”

“At the Academy. Lunch break.” Eddie resisted the urge to ask about the cement by the skin of his teeth. He was outside, standing in the shade of the few trees around the parking lot. A couple of the other students were standing in a half circle nearby, smoking. Idiots. He would have to remember to ask Buck if he was a smoker—he didn’t want his kid around that kind of role model.

“Listen, Christopher has been asking about you. I don’t want to disappoint him, so this is your one chance to prove you don’t either. Got it?”

“Uh, yes, yeah, absolutely,” Buck rushed to say. “Just tell me when and where. I’ll be there.”

Eddie gripped the Lego so hard the edges dug into his palm painfully. It grounded him. 

“Are you free tomorrow?”

The sun was bright overhead, sweltering the intrepid souls swarming Venice Beach. People covered the sandy slope of the shore like ants wandering around a picnic blanket.

It took a couple trips back and forth from his truck but eventually Eddie set up a beach blanket beneath a wide umbrella. Two canvas folding chairs rested in the little pool of shade. Chris’s crutches were laid carefully between them. They were of little use on the sand, but it was always better to have them in reach just in case.

“Are you sure Buck is gonna come?” Chris asked forlornly. “What if he forgot about me?”

Eddie’s heart panged. “There’s no way he could forget you, kid.” He leaned across the space between their chairs and kissed Chris’s curls to drive the point home. How he could have allowed this to happen—for Chris to lose so much and be left behind so many times—Eddie would never understand.

He checked his watch as Chris kicked at the sand idly. Five minutes until Buck was supposed to meet them here. Not quite late yet.

“I’m here!” Buck yelled. He waved one arm wildly. “Diazes! I’m here!"

Eddie looked over his shoulder, lowering his sunglasses to watch the man sprint across the sand. A cooler swung from one of his hands while a backpack slipped off the shoulder he was still waving with. He wore a huge goofy grin, bright blue board shorts, and a tight white tank top.

“You came!” Chris yelled, bouncing up and down in his chair with excitement.

“Of course!” Buck responded with equal enthusiasm despite his breathlessness. He dropped the bag on the edge of the blanket and sat cross legged in front of Eddie and Chris with the cooler in his lap like a shy kid clutching his lunchbox in Kindergarten.

Eddie tried his best not to find this adorable. Unfortunately, as with most things, he failed.

Chris leaned forward, holding his arms out for a hug. Buck blinked, his mouth dropping open a fraction as if this type of easy, trusting affection was an entirely new concept. He looked at Eddie, his big blue eyes pleading.

Pressing his lips together to avoid the fond smile that wanted to slip across his face, Eddie nodded.

Buck set the cooler aside immediately. He wrapped his long arms around Chris, rocking him side to side with all the adulation and fervor of a dog wagging its tail to welcome his family home.

“So what did you bring us?” Eddie asked when the two had settled back into their respective seats.

“I wasn’t sure what you guys liked.” Buck grinned apologetically. “And I still only know how to make breakfast foods for now, even though I think I’m getting really close to convincing Bobby to crack into the lunch recipes.”

This didn’t make much sense to Eddie, but Chris giggled so whatever.

Buck popped open the cooler, reaching inside like a magician pulling something unexpected out of a hat and showing them a zip lock gallon bag full of—

“Pancakes?” Chris asked excitedly.

“No, but close.” Buck matched his grin perfectly. Looking at them like this it was impossible for Eddie not to notice how similar they were. Dark blonde curly hair, blue eyes, skin practically the color of marshmallows ready to roast in the sun. A deep ache bloomed in Eddie’s chest as he digested the fact that not only was Buck a natural with Chris, he also looked more like his parent than either Eddie or Shannon ever would.

“They’re crepes!” Buck waved his free hand with an overblown flourish that made Chris giggle.

“What are crepes?” Chris asked. “How are they different than pancakes?”

“Well, crepes are thinner, like a tortilla,” Buck explained patiently, as he dug around in his backpack. He pulled out some paper plates, cups, and plasticware out as he continued. “So, with pancakes sometimes you can put chocolate chips or blueberries in them right?” Chris nodded along eagerly. “With crepes you roll stuff in them, so it’s more like a burrito but with fruit and whipped cream or ham and cheese or whatever. You can stuff them with whatever you want.”

“Whipped cream?” Chris’s eyes were wide with interest. He watched as Buck pulled a carton of orange juice and a liter of lemonade from his backpack.

“You didn’t have to bring all this,” Eddie said nervously. “We could have stopped somewhere for food.”

I can’t compete with fucking crepes, he thought hysterically. I can barely put frozen Eggos in the toaster without burning the place down.

Buck shrugged one shoulder without looking at Eddie. “I wanted to prove I was a responsible adult and shi—stuff. I’ve been doing a lot of research on the importance of a well-rounded diet for kids.” As he spoke he continued emptying the cooler of a container of macerated strawberries that looked to be soaking in their own syrup, a pint of fat blueberries, pre-sliced Boar’s Head honey smoked turkey, sharp cheddar, and finally a jar of Nutella.

“This is going to be the best picnic ever!” Chris shouted, clapping his hands like he just couldn’t keep all his energy inside.

The worst part, in Eddie’s opinion, was that his kid was right. Buck’s home cooked crepes with all the fixin’s was one of the best meals Eddie had ever had, full stop. And that was despite the fact that it was completely unheated. Only Abuela’s cooking surpasses it. Eddie never wanted to let his own insecurity keep something good from Chris’s life. But that didn’t mean he loved how the comparison between him and Buck was shaping up in his own head.

After they ate, Chris and Buck set about making a sandcastle alien spaceship (Chris was still not over the planetarium) while Eddie lounged in the sun a few feet away. It was hard not to relax under the heavy blanket of California summer heat with the sound of his son’s laughter in his ears. Perhaps it was too soon to let his guard down, but he trusted Buck with Chris intrinsically. 

By the time Chris and Buck were splashing each other in the ocean, Eddie was half asleep in his beach chair. Every once in a while he would crack an eye open, see that the two boys were still having the time of their life, still safely in the shallows where Eddie had told them to stay. He would shout for them to reapply their sunscreen—despite having the complexion of fresh cream, Buck never seemed to remember he could burn—and then lounge back further into his chair.

Buck never babied Chris or made him feel like he wasn’t capable because of his disability. Neither did Buck show any signs of getting frustrated when Chris moved slower or needed extra help. It was rare to find someone who just got it like that. A person who met Chris where he was at and just accepted him exactly as he was.

Eddie was roused out of his half-sleep by the sound of their voices drawing near an indeterminable amount of time later.

“If I lived in the ocean I would be a dolphin,” Chris said. “What about you, Buck?”

“I think I would be a manta ray,” he answered seriously. “They look so cool, flapping around, not bothering anybody.”

With a sigh, Eddie pushed himself fully upright. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes beneath his sunglasses.

“Did you boys have fun?” he asked with a smile.

“Yeah!” Chris shouted. While the adults packed up, Chris regaled Eddie with a play by play of their time in the water, including the boy he met who had the exact same glasses as him. 

It was just as they were loading the chairs into the back of Eddie’s truck that Chris heard it. The siren song no child could ignore. The jaunty, haunting tune that never failed to make any playground screech to a halt. The ice cream truck song—faint in the distance but growing louder as the unseen truck trundled closer to the beach.

“The ice cream man!” Chris shouted. He grabbed onto Eddie’s black tank top with both hands, eyes pleading behind his smudged glasses. “Daddy, please!”

Eddie sighed, his shoulders slumping as he looked off into the distance, trying to gauge how far away the vehicle might be. “I’m sorry, buddy.” He frowned down at Chris. There was nothing Eddie hated more than disappointing his son. “I don’t think we can catch up to him.”

“Don’t worry,” Buck said seriously. “I got this.” Without another word the other man turned and took off, racing down the side street the sound was wafting from.

“Buck!” Eddie shouted. “Where—get back here!” He scooped up Chris, propping his son on his hip before running off after Buck. 

Chris giggled as he bounced on Eddie’s hip, arms thrown around Eddie’s neck as he squealed, “Faster, Daddy, we gotta catch up!”

Between Eddie’s flip-flops, Buck’s stupid-long cheetah legs, and the added weight (not to mention safety concerns) of carrying a six-year-old there was simply no way Eddie was ever gaining on Buck.

The Entertainer, the rag-time piano tune ubiquitous with ice cream trucks everywhere, grew louder and louder as Eddie and Chris sprinted behind Buck. Eddie couldn’t help feeling like the simple, chipper little tune was the background music in one of those black and white slapstick films. Any minute now he expected to slip on a banana peel or unintentionally pull some Charlie Chaplin style stunt that would really make Chris laugh.

The ice cream truck, meanwhile, was hauling ass down the block like it had someplace better to be.

“Stop!” Buck screamed, waving his arms back and forth over his head. “LAFD! Stop!”

The white, square, squat little truck jammed on the brakes. It pulled over to the curb with a squeal of rubber. Panting, Buck went up to the sales window just as it slid open with a click.

“Hey, man, we only take cash,” the man inside said in a bored tone of voice.

Eddie hiked Chris higher up on his hip, red-faced, and slowed his pace from a sprint to a light jog now that the man he was after was standing still.

Buck scrounged around in his pockets, producing his phone and car keys, but no method of payment besides his pretty, awkward smile.

Eddie sighed, finally catching up with him just as the annoyed ice cream truck man started making noise about finding some paying customers. Foisting Chris off on Buck, Eddie pulled out a crumpled twenty.

“What’ll it be, mijo?” Eddie winced as his eyes roved over the fading price list pasted on the side of the truck. He certainly didn’t remember Bom Pops being $4.5o when he was a kid back in El Paso.

Jesus Christ, he thought forlornly. I used to scrounge for change between the couch cushions to buy myself ice cream and now I practically need to take out a second mortgage just to see my son smile. Maybe my parents are right and he would have been better off with them in Texas.

Eddie dismissed the thought as soon as it crossed his mind. God knows he’d do anything for his child, but he couldn’t live with being separated from the person he loved most in the world.

If I’m not the best choice for him now, I’ll just have to learn to be better. He belongs with me, Eddie thought fiercely.

“I want the Sponge Bob one,” Chris decided after due consideration.

“Buck?” Eddie asked. It was the least he could do, given everything Buck had done for them. A small gesture, really.

“Um.” His eyes roved over the board. “Vanilla soft serve, please.”

It was the cheapest option. Eddie didn’t argue. He handed over his crumpled twenty and took his eleven dollars in change, pointedly ignoring the tip jar.

“What about you, Dad?” Chris asked.

“We have ice cream at home for me,” Eddie said dismissively. “Besides I can’t afford to put on any extra pounds with my big test coming up. The heavier I am, the slower I’m gonna move.”

“Yeah, and you’re already pretty slow.” Chris nodded sagely. “Buck’s already a firefighter and he’s way faster than you.”

“That’s exactly right, bud,” Buck teased. He was on his phone, tapping away—the first time Eddie had seen him distracted by a screen all afternoon. A second later Eddie’s phone pinged. “But you know what? I think your Dad’s going to be an amazing firefighter.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, feeling heat flash across his cheeks at the compliment. Even Abuela hadn’t been exactly thrilled about his career path. He hadn’t been on the receiving end of an overwhelming amount of validation or encouragement. But that was okay. Eddie was used to it.

A ping from his phone made Eddie frown. He took it out, checking his notifications. His eyebrows shot up as he saw the Venmo symbol informing him that he’d just been paid.

Buck sent him twenty dollars.

Eddie scowled at him but Buck cheerfully ignored it, regaling Chris with a story about the first time he’d had to rescue someone’s pet from a tree on the job. It was an iguana. 

“I want an iguana!” Chris started eyeing nearby trees like he might be able to find one in the wild and lure it home.

“Thanks for that, Buck,” Eddie muttered under his breath.

Buck winced, hanging his head like he expected to be yelled at. After a couple minutes of walking in silence they found themselves back where they began. In the parking lot where their cars were sitting side by side.

“Thanks for letting me tag along with you guys today.” Buck was looking at his hands as he spoke, fiddling with his keys.

“Thanks for coming,” Eddie countered. “We had a lot of fun, right mijo?”

“Right! Can we hang out again soon? Please?”

Buck looked up at Eddie from under his lashes, all puppy dog eyes and pouty lower lip.

“Of course we can,” Eddie said. “We just have to find a time that works for all of us. Preferably after my certification test.”

“Yes!” Buck fist pumped before knocking his knuckles against Chris. “I think I’m winning him over, little guy.” 

Chris giggled. “He tries to act tough but he’s a big softie. That’s what Tia Pepa says.”

“Oh!” Eddie slapped a hand over his heart. “Betrayed by my own family! My own flesh and blood! How can I ever go on?”

Chris covered his laughter with one hand. “You’re so silly, Daddy.”

“Yeah.” Buck’s eyes were soft, his smile a little too fond. “I think he’s definitely a softie.”

This man asked me out, Eddie remembered abruptly. 

 “Well, this has been fun.” Eddie reached out for Chris, buckling him into his car seat quickly to hide the way his fingers were trembling.

“Hey, Eddie?” Buck sounded unsure. Eddie gently closed the truck door, cutting Chris off from the conversation.

“What’s up?” Eddie asked. “You have everything you need?”

Buck shifted his weight from foot to foot, shoving his keys deep in his pants pocket. “I just want to say…like I know my opinion doesn’t really count or anything because I’m not really ‘an adult’.” He used air quotes to emphasize his point. It was as idiotic as it was adorable. 

God help me, Eddie thought, apropos of nothing.

“But I was really worried that night I had Chris, when I couldn’t get a hold of anyone to get him home to.” Eddie’s stomach sank. He had been prepared for accusations about his parenting when he first met Buck, when the other man was just a stranger. A concept of a person more than anything. But now? After they had spent the whole day together, happier than Eddie could remember being in years? That stung.

“I imagined all kinds of things, worst case scenarios,” Buck admitted. The pleading earnestness in his eyes stole the biting retort off Eddie’s tongue. “But you’re a really great father. That kid is so lucky to have you and he doesn’t even know it, which is kind of the best part, you know?” 

Eddie knew.

“He just thinks that’s the way the world works. That everyone is a good person at heart. He never has to wonder if he’s loved. If I’d had that as a kid…It doesn’t matter. I never thought much about being a father. But I hope that one day, if I get lucky enough to have that chance, I can be even a tenth the dad you are for that kid. Anyway, you have my number. I hope you call again soon. I’d really love to do this again sometime.”

With that, Buck hopped into his Jeep, cheeks red and eyes not meeting Eddie’s.

It wasn’t until he was back home with Chris fed, bathed, and tucked into bed that Eddie let himself replay Buck’s words in his head.

He curled up in his bed, pressing a palm over the ache in his chest. For once, he didn’t fight the tears when they came. With his face buried in his pillow to drown the sound, Eddie sobbed himself to sleep. He wasn’t even sure what he was crying for. He only knew that it felt something had been broken open. Released.

And when he pressed on the pain in his heart, for the first time he could feel the promise of healing beneath it.

Chapter Text

Eddie forced himself to wait a respectable three days before calling Buck again. His skin felt too tight, hypersensitive with the hair on his arms and neck standing up every time he thought about him. 

Buck with his easy smiles. Buck with his earnest blue eyes. Buck with his heart on his sleeve. There was a channel in the back of Eddie’s mind that was now dedicated to nothing but Buck, Buck, Buck all the time. It reminded him oddly of the puppy love kind of infatuation he felt when he and Shannon first started hanging out.

I’m straight, Eddie reminded himself even as he checked his hair in the bathroom mirror. Buck wouldn’t be able to see it. Eddie was planning a phone call not a facetime. This is just the excitement of making a new friend.

“It doesn’t matter how I look,” he muttered, smoothing out the wrinkles in his shirt. He sat down on the closed toilet lid and pressed the call button before he could think better of it.

“Eddie!” There was no background noise on Buck’s side of the line this time. 

“Are you working today?” Eddie asked abruptly. He dug his toes into the plush bath mat, letting the sensation distract him from the way his skin felt electrified when he heard his name in Buck’s voice like that.

“No, it’s my twenty-four off. Why? Are you guys doing something?” Hesitant. Hopeful. Adorable.

“Chris wants to go to the zoo to see an iguana. Since someone mentioned them to him, he’s been obsessed.”

There, Eddie thought. We’re having a totally normal conversation. He never has to know how weird I’ve been about him. I’ve got this completely under control.

“Okay, well in my defense iguanas are cool . Like, did you know that they have a third ‘eye’ on top of their head that can sense movement and light? Like can you imagine what things look like in an iguana brain? And! They can inflate their bodies to twice their usual size.”

Eddie grinned so hard his cheeks hurt, shaking his head as he looked toward the ceiling.

Who the hell is this excited about fun animal facts? Eddie hoped he had more.

“Save the spiel for the zoo, big guy,” Eddie found himself saying.

That’s normal, right? Normal friends can call each other ‘big guy’.

“I’m going with you? Now? Oh my God, okay, wow, let me change and I’ll be over in—actually, where do you guys live?”

Eddie rattled off his address without even thinking about it.

“Okay.” Eddie could hear the smile in Buck’s voice. “I’ll come pick you up in twenty minutes, tops.”

“We can’t stay out too long,” Eddie rushed to add. “I have my certification test tomorrow.”

Buck was silent for a moment before finally saying, “Noted. See you in twenty, Eddie.” And then he hung up.

Eddie swallowed, feeling his throat bob as he looked down at the phone in his hand and then up at the mirror over the sink.

“Shit,” he muttered to himself. He was going to have to change. “Chris!” He called loudly. “Chris, we’ve gotta get ready ASAP, bud!”

How could I not think this through? Eddie’s heart picked up the pace frantically. There’s no time to prepare.

Fifteen minutes later, not even Eddie hustling Chris into his outfit for the day could dampen the kid’s mood.

“You’re wearing a fancy shirt?” Chris asked, eyeing Eddie’s dark red button down skeptically. “Does everybody wear fancy clothes to the zoo?” He looked down at his blue and yellow striped t-shirt and cargo shorts, suddenly unsure. 

“It’s not fancy,” Eddie hedged. “And Buck will be here any minute. There’s no time to change.” Again. He briefly thought about ducking into the bathroom to check his outfit in the mirror one more time but that would be ridiculous. It wasn’t like this was a date or anything.

Headlights flashed like a second sun hitting the living room windows as a car pulled up.

“He’s here!” Chris shouted.

“Alright. Okay. Great.” Eddie patted down his pockets, noting his keys, wallet, and phone. “Do we have everything you need?” He walked behind Chris, unzipping his backpack. “Water bottle, snacks, sunglasses, sunscreen, hat, emergency money, contact card.” The contact card was something new they were doing. Until Chris could memorize Eddie’s phone number, he would be keeping a card on him at all times with Eddie’s name, home address, phone number, allergies and medical alert information written on it.

There would be no more accidental overnight babysitting. Eddie knew he was far from perfect, but he usually only made a mistake once.

Just as he got the backpack zipped up, a cheerful knock sounded at the door. Eddie wiped his hands over his jeans, unaccountably nervous. It was just Buck, after all.

When Eddie opened the door, he blinked at the explosion of color that greeted him on the other side. Buck stood there, a toothy grin stretched so wide his cheeks dimpled, holding a bouquet of balloons. The center one was shaped like a graduation cap and it exclaimed ‘Congratulations!’ in bubbly holographic letters. In his other hand he held a cardboard to-go box with a fancy looking bakery logo on the side.

“I know it’s not much, but I brought you cupcakes and balloons.” Buck ducked his head a little sheepishly. “To celebrate you passing your certification.”

“But I don’t even take the test until tomorrow,” Eddie said dumbly. He hadn’t even expected a celebratory text, nonetheless whatever the hell this was. A congratulatory dinner from Abuela might have made sense, but Buck wasn't even here for him. He was here for Chris.

“That’s why I didn’t buy you anything for breaking a dozen records yet,” Buck joked, kicking at the toe of Eddie’s shoe gently with his own. “There’s no way you aren’t going to pass. L.A.’s finest will be proud to have you, Eddie.”

For a moment, Eddie closed his eyes and let himself vividly imagine pulling Buck in by his dimpled cheeks and kissing him breathless. Then he buried the nonsensical little fantasy down and forced himself to smile and thank Buck the way he knew he should.

“You really didn’t have to do this,” Eddie told him as he settled the balloons in the middle of the coffee table. The cupcakes—half a dozen, all in different gourmet flavors such as maple bacon and blueberry lemon—were safely stowed in the refrigerator.

“Passing your exam is a big deal. My old roommates took me out and bought me drinks when I passed.” He looked at Eddie from the corner of his eyes, rubbing the back of his neck. “I, uh, have a new place now. Not so much into the bar scene anymore. But it meant something. That someone was proud of me. I know you’ve got a family and everything and they’re probably going to do something cooler than balloons or whatever—I’m sorry, this was dumb, wasn’t it? I shouldn’t have—”

Eddie took Buck’s shoulders in his hands as Chris watched them curiously. He had that expression on his face that reminded Eddie so much of Shannon he could hardly bear to look at his son.

“Thank you, Buck. I mean it.” Eddie met Buck’s eyes, losing himself in the blue just long enough to let his thumb rub back and forth over the other man’s collar bone. “It means a lot. I really appreciate it. My family weren’t overjoyed by my choice of career path. And Chris loves the balloons, don’t you, Chris?”

“Balloons are fun,” Chris said easily. “Can we have the cupcakes now?”

Buck opened his mouth, no doubt to agree to whatever the kid wanted, but Eddie cut him off with a stern, “You can have half of one after dinner.”

Chris pouted for a second, but quickly brightened when Buck clapped his hands together and asked who was ready for the zoo.

If Eddie had realized Chris had such a passion for animals he probably would have made a point to take him to the zoo before. Not that it would have been the same though, without Buck’s excited commentary. Or his impact on the trip’s budget.

Beyond just driving the Diazes, Buck insisted on paying for everything. Parking, tickets, wildly overpriced food from the Zoo Grill and the Churro Factory—even an ugly stuffed iguana from the gift shop.

“You spoil him,” Eddie muttered as Chris watched a giraffe feeding demonstration with rapt interest.

Buck bumped his shoulder against Eddie’s gently. “You’ve had six years to win the kid over. I’ve had, like, two and a half outings. How else am I gonna make sure he doesn’t kick me to the curb as his best friend?”

Eddie turned to face Buck, leaning his hip against the gate separating the enclosure from the walkway. He crossed his arms, trying to ignore the painful beating of his heart as he let his ankle rest against Buck’s.

“You don’t have to buy anything to get him to like you. He doesn’t need stuff. He just needs someone to listen to him and see him for who he is. You do that without even trying. Trust me, neither of us wants you to go anywhere.”

Eyes wide, Buck opened his mouth to respond, then shut it and swallowed thickly. Buck reached for him, slow enough that Eddie could time the progress of Buck’s hand with the tap dancing rhythm of his out of control heart. When Buck’s hand landed on Eddie’s forearm he let the light pressure guide him into uncrossing his arms. Buck followed his hand down, tangling their fingers together between their thighs.

“Excuse me, sirs?” A woman in an Oklahoma baseball cap stopped beside them.

Tensing immediately, Eddie’s hand clamped down on Buck’s like a lifeline. Whereas before the prancing of his heart had been excitement, anticipation, now it was terror. He was afraid. To be seen holding a man’s hand. His tongue was glued to the roof of his mouth, his lungs frozen in his chest.

“Yes, ma’am?” Buck replied. His tone was polite but just a little wary. His hand didn’t waver in Eddie’s for a second.

“I just wanted to let you know your son got in line to feed the giraffes,” she said, pointing at Chris with a smile. Sure enough, while they were distracted Chris had snuck a few feet away, dug out his emergency cash from his backpack, and was now standing in line. “But the fence is pretty tall and they don’t have anywhere special for the kids to stand so he’s probably going to need one of you to hold him up.”

“Oh!” Eddie flushed, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. “Thanks. We’ll…go do that.”

Buck watched him intently, his expression broken open like he was in pain.

Is the idea of being our family really so horrible ? Eddie thought petulantly. He was still flushing hard, but he had the decency not to make the woman feel bad about her mistake, at least. 

Would it be so bad, if Buck was a Diaz? A greedy voice whispered in the back of Eddie’s mind. We could take care of each other. It would be perfect. If only Eddie wasn't straight.

“You three are a really cute family,” the woman said. She offered them one last kind smile before jogging off to catch up with her husband and kids.

“He’s almost to the head of the line, we better go,” Buck muttered. Eddie startled, realizing they had been standing there in silence for a long handful of moments.

With a tentative tug on their joined hands, Buck led Eddie over to Chris. Buck only let go when he needed his hand free to dig out the requisite five dollars—admonishing Chris that his emergency money was for emergencies only. 

Eddie watched, mute, panicked static stoking higher in his brain every second as he watched Buck lift Chris up above his head like the kid weighed nothing—backpack, crutches and all. Buck’s biceps bulged, smooth and firm. Biteable. 

Eddie’s mouth watered as he vividly imagined sinking his teeth into Buck’s skin and working it with loving nips and sucks until a dark hickey bloomed where his mouth had been. A visible warning to all the interested looking single moms wandering by, admiring Buck’s strength.

This one is taken, Eddie imagined telling them petulantly, find your own. Except that obviously wasn’t quite true.

But it could be. He asked me out, Eddie reminded himself. He’s obviously interested. And he loves Chris. Would it be so crazy to try…? It’s not like he’d hold it against me if it didn’t work out. He’s not that kind of guy. And if it did…

Eddie had to swallow down images of Buck splayed out in bed, all smiles and muscle and broad, warm hands. There was no sense in lingering on those thoughts. He would only make a fool of himself if he did.

Later, when Chris got tired of walking, Buck swung him up on his shoulders, looking pleased as punch to be the kid’s pack mule.

Eddie followed, listening to their happy chatter as they meandered toward the parking lot. He didn’t need to speak, just listen and make the appropriate noises at the appropriate times, which he honestly kind of loved. It gave his poor, overheated, overworked brain a chance to rest and just enjoy being around two people whose company made everything better.

Only when they reached the parking lot was this easy routine interrupted by Chris’s shout of, “It’s a duck!”

Eddie looked around, trying to find a stray duck—wondering absently if this was a wild animal or an escapee from the petting zoo.

“I’ve been ducked,” Buck agreed, sounding pleased.

Eddie did a double take, looking at the man, aghast.

“Ducked,” Buck emphasized around a laugh. “There’s a duck on my Jeep.” He pointed, and sure enough there was a rubber duck with heart-shaped eyes sitting on the windshield wipers of the man’s car.

Chris and Buck took turns explaining the game to Eddie as Chris got settled in his car seat. Buck did a surprisingly competent safety check that had Eddie swallowing and sweating as he remembered the man was a firefighter.

If I play my cards right maybe I could see him in his turnouts. This was a side of himself Eddie had never met before. The idea of a strong, competent man being a good father figure for Chris was…sure something. Eddie tugged at the neckline of his shirt, trying to get some much needed airflow.

“Sorry, let me crank the A.C.” Damn Buck was perceptive. Attentive.

He’d be a good partner. It was all Eddie thought about on the ride home. Not even the traffic could frazzle his nerves, because Buck was driving. Everything was just easier when Buck was around.

In no time at all they were parked in Eddie’s driveway at South Bedford street, watching Chris race inside to put his new plushie away.

“Hey, I had a really good time today,” Buck said he walked Eddie to the door at a more sedate pace. His hands were stuffed deep in his jean’s pockets, his shoulder knocking against Eddie’s as they walked.

“Me too.”

“Call me again after you pass your test?” Buck tilted his head to the side, somehow managing to look up at Eddie through his eyelashes despite having a couple of inches on him.

“Yeah,” Eddie swayed in, drawn closer by the gravity of how much he wanted to touch Buck. “Yeah, I…”

Buck’s eyes flicked down to Eddie’s lips, surprised interest flashing in his eyes.

Do something, do something now, a voice that sounded very much like his mother shouted in his head.

Eddie wrapped his arms around Buck, turning his face away as he thumped Buck’s back in a masculine, romance-less hug.

Smooth, Edmundo, Sophia’s voice whispered, replacing their mother's. He definitely didn’t notice that extremely subtle evasive maneuver. 

Buck returned the hug gamely. When Eddie pulled back the other man seemed genuinely pleased about it, even.

“Well,” Eddie said, slightly too loud for the situation. “Thanks for everything today. Chris really enjoyed it. We’ll do something again. Sometime. Soon.”

“Until then, I, uh, want you to have this.” Buck pulled the heart-eyed duck out of his pocket, holding it out for Eddie to take. “If you put it on your dash you can get ducked too.”

Eddie burst out laughing. He covered his face with his palms, trying to summon the mature adult he was supposed to be. The sound of Buck’s laughter layering in with his own made it impossible to stop.

“Consider me ducked,” Eddie managed to say around giggles. It set off a new round of laughter for both of them.

I really, really like this guy, Eddie thought fondly as he held the duck in his hand and watched Buck drive away, waving out the window even when he should be concentrating on the road.

It’s not like my parents would approve of anyone I chose anyway. Maybe it would be okay to try something different, if that thing was with Buck.

Eddie couldn’t stop smiling as he thought about it. Not as he made dinner or cleaned the house. Not as he split one of the cupcakes with Chris—rich chocolate cake with a minty buttercream sprinkled with edible gold glitter and Lucky Charms marshmallows—not as he studied for his test.

It was undeniable.

Eddie wanted him.

Chapter Text

Two weeks later, Buck walked into the station with a spring in his step. After a couple more hangouts with the Diaz boys, he and Eddie had started texting. At first it was just simple things like coordinating schedules. Then it was memes and random pictures. Now it felt like Buck could hardly go an hour without checking to see if Eddie had messaged him.

Annoyingly, no matter how many times Buck asked, Eddie still wouldn’t tell him which station he’d chosen. He’d had his pick of them after graduating top of his class (as Buck knew he would). Attempting to convince Eddie of the many merits of the one-eighteen, even with photos of Bobby’s cooking, hadn’t swayed his new friend.

Or at least, Buck didn’t think it had until Hen, Chim, and Bobby started talking about the new guy. Buck’s heart thumped wildly in his chest, excitement slowly rising as he turned to peer through the glass walls of the locker room. For once the wildly inappropriate and frankly baffling construction of their changing space was more a blessing than a curse.

Buck was completely blindsided by washboard abs and a reverse strip tease that he swore had to be in slow motion. Seeing Eddie shirtless wiped every other thought from his mind. Honestly, despite all the beautiful, smart, funny people that Buck had slept with in his life, none of them had made his world stop turning with a glance like Eddie did.

“Eddie,” Bobby called as Eddie wandered over (fully clothed but no less stunning), “Come over here a second, I want to introduce you to the team.”

“I already know a couple of them, Cap.” Eddie grinned at Buck. It was that easy smile, wide enough to show his sharp canines. The one he always gave whenever Buck made Christopher laugh.

“Really?” Bobby asked, eyebrows raised with interest. “You didn’t mention that before.”

“My son went to science day camp with Denny Wilson.” Eddie stuck his hands in his pockets, looking so comfortable and confident it was impossible to think of him as a probie, even if that’s what he technically was.

Hen snapped her fingers, pointing at Eddie with a wide smile. “I thought you looked familiar! It’ll be nice to have another parent around to commiserate with. Denny’s a great kid,” she hurried to add. “But being a parent on this schedule can be so exhausting.”

“I get that.” Eddie nodded.

What about me? Buck wanted to scream. You know me too. You know me better than Hen. Why won’t you talk about me?

Whatever Eddie’s reasons were, Buck wasn’t about to out him in front of everyone else. Not least because he had some vague idea of how desperate and pathetic voicing those thoughts out loud would make him look.

After a few seconds of torture—listening to Hen and Eddie banter back and forth about the worst messes their sons had made—Buck excused himself to the gym.

He didn’t notice that Eddie had followed him until he was half way through a set of bicep curls. 

“So, you chose the one-eighteen,” Buck said, not looking up from where he was watching his own muscles strain (he knew what he looked like, okay? And he worked hard to look good. He might as well enjoy it).

Eddie waited to respond until Buck set down the weight with a sigh and stood to face him. Then, the guy had the gall to shrug like it was no big deal. 

“I knew there were some good people here.” He reached out, squeezing Buck’s biceps maybe a couple seconds too long to be merely a friendly gesture. 

They’d been doing that more, ever since the zoo. It was nothing, really. Just casual touches that lingered. Buck knew what he wanted them to mean, but he’d been burned by hitting on straight guys before. There was no way he was going to put himself out there when he’d already been rejected by the man once before.

Buck’s heart thudded hopelessly in his chest.

It’s not fair, he mourned. Every time I think I’ve got the hope squashed down he does something like that and it lights me up all over again. 

“Are you mad at me?” Eddie asked. He rested his hands on his hips, eyebrows shooting up as his lips pressed together. 

Dad-face , Buck thought fondly. It shouldn’t have been such a good look on the man. Even being in trouble was endearing. 

Crushes suck, Buck thought glumly. 

“I’m not mad,” Buck said. He turned away before Eddie could detect the lie on his face. The kettlebells offered an easy excuse to look busy, even though that’s not the part of his workout routine Buck was actually at. Wherever he’d left off, he couldn’t remember what was actually supposed to come next. Eddie often had that effect on him. 

“Bullshit.” Eddie’s tone was flat and firm. Much like the eight-pack abs Buck had seen a mere half hour ago. It was also much closer over his shoulder than it should have been. Eddie was following him around the gym. “Tell me what’s up.”

Buck licked his bottom lip angrily. Restraint demolished, Buck turned abruptly to face the other man. “So you know Hen, huh?” he asked challengingly. 

To Eddie’s credit, he flushed a little. Checking over his shoulder to make sure they were well and truly alone, Eddie squared his jaw like he was preparing for a fight. “Well, you know, I wasn’t quite sure how to explain to the team that you kidnapped my child. I was trying to follow your lead. It’s not like you were in any rush to greet me.”

Buck blinked a couple times, taking in the tense line of Eddie’s shoulders, the taught way his forearms crossed over his chest.

“You’re pissed about that?” Buck asked incredulously. “You never even told me you’d picked a station. I had no idea you were even starting today. How was I supposed to know what to say?”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Look, there’s no need for either of us to get upset. You felt like I was ignoring you and then did the same thing back. It’s fine. I’m over it.”

“Well, maybe I’m not,” Buck snapped back. “This is my team Eddie. This station, this job—it’s all I have. You have Chris and Tia Pepa and your abuela. I don’t have anyone that’s not inside these walls right now, okay? So you can’t just show up and mess with that and then expect me to be cool about it.”

Eddie took a step back, eyes wide as his arms fell to his sides. “Do you not want me here?” he asked softly. “I thought…maybe it was stupid, I don’t know, I just thought this would be a fun surprise.” He bit his lip, looking away as he rubbed his palms over his thighs, “If it really bothers you that I’m here I can find another firehouse—”

“No,” Buck interrupted quickly. “That’s not it. I don’t want you to go. I just…I’ve already messed up here a few times and I can’t afford to…”

“Buck,” Eddie said softly. He stepped so close the toe of their shoes were practically kissing. He laid a gentle hand on Buck’s shoulder, ignoring the sweat that had already started to build from his workout. “I’ve got your back, alright?”

“Yeah.” Buck matched his tone. The tension began to seep from him. “And-and I’ve got yours. Obviously.”

“I know.” Eddie grinned, his eyes fond and his thumb sweeping back and forth over Buck’s collar bone. “And you're wrong, by the way. You do have at least one person in your life that’s not inside these walls. Chris is at school, probably counting the minutes until I bring home a picture of us both on the truck.”

“You mean it?” The waver in his voice left Buck feeling unbearably exposed.

Eddie looked unwaveringly in his eyes. “I mean it.”

After the grenade in the guy’s leg, the rest of the shift was honestly kind of boring. Not that there was much left of it at that point. Three and a half hours, some cheap diner food, and a couple routine medical calls later, Buck and Eddie were back in the glass locker room changing into their civvies.

“Can you drop me off at home?” Eddie asked as finished buttoning up his shirt. “My car battery’s been acting up, I had Tía Pepa drop me off for the shift.”

“Of course, man,” Buck said instantly. “You…uh, would it be okay if I maybe stopped in for a minute to say hi to Chris?”

“I’d be mad if you didn’t.” Eddie smacked Buck’s chest lightly with the back of his hand.

They walked in companionable silence out to the parking lot, shoulders bumping every few steps. The warmth of another person pressed close, even for a second, grounded Buck. Distracted him enough that he didn’t notice what was right in front of him until he was almost to the Jeep’s driver’s side door.

“What the—duck?” He stopped in his tracks, blinking at the little heart-eyed duck staring at him from the hood of his car. “That’s crazy, the last one I got was exactly like this.” He turned around, craning his neck to see if there were any other Jeeps around who might have been the ducker.

“Crazy,” Eddie said. A coy little grin crept across his face. “You might as well pick it up.”

Narrowing his eyes suspiciously, Buck did. Black sharpie on the bottom of the duck caught his eye. He turned it over, inspecting the phone number printed in neat, if cramped, penmanship on the bottom.

“What…” Buck looked up, taking in Eddie’s nervous grin and tangled-together fingers.

“You gave me your number once,” Eddie said. “On a coffee cup. I wasn’t ready to, uh, call you then. Not like that, anyway. But I was wondering if you would still be interested in calling me now?” His voice rose nearly an entire octave on the last word. His wide, stressed eyes locked on Buck’s.

“Just to be clear,” Buck said, gesturing wildly with his hands, “this means you want to date me, right?”

“Right. That was the idea. Yes.” Eddie shifted from foot to foot, fiddling with his watch.

Buck let himself draw his gaze heavily up from Eddie’s hands, slowly caressing his arms and chest on their way to the other man’s eyes. He licked his lips, stepping closer.

“And would it be too forward of me to assume that means kissing is on the table?” Buck let his voice dip low. He hooked his thumbs on either side of his belt buckle, stopping inches from Eddie. “In the interest of being on the same page.”

The sweet blush on Eddie’s face made Buck want to kiss his cheeks. If possible, he looked even more terrified by the blatant flirting than he had when he was asking Buck out.

“It’s on the table,” Eddie croaked.

Buck didn’t want to waste any more time, but he forced himself to move slow enough that Eddie could still back out if he wanted. The scrape of the stubble as Buck cupped Eddie’s cheeks sent a shiver dancing down his spine.

Just as he leaned in, intending to linger on the pre-kiss anticipation and torture them both with wanting, Eddie grabbed Buck’s shirt in both hands and drew him down into a kiss that felt like the first breath after drowning.

Buck had never meant to kidnap a child or fall in love. But sometimes these things just happened.

Chapter Text

One: Tía Pepa

Eddie startled awake as the front door opened. Normally, the sound of his son’s laughter was one of the few things that could make the half hour after waking up tolerable (the other two being kisses from Buck and his one true love—coffee).

However, hearing that laughter, along with the indistinct murmur of Tía Pepa’s voice on the other side of his thin bedroom wall was enough to send panic shooting through Eddie’s body.

His pants were still in the kitchen. Where Buck had taken them off. Along with Buck’s shirt.

Eddie checked the clock, cursing under his breath as he sprang out of bed, scrambling for a clean pair of underwear. Buck groaned forlornly, his face still mashed in the pillow and one arm searching the mattress blindly for his boyfriend.

“We fell asleep,” Eddie hissed. He threw a too-long pair of sweats at Buck’s head as he hopped into his own. “They’re here. Shit, we didn’t even lock the bedroom door.”

Buck sat up, his curls a riot—Eddie was making headway in convincing Buck to ditch the gel. He looked adorably confused and rumpled.

“I’ll stall,” Eddie whispered. “Just get dressed and go hide the clothes we left in the kitchen. Got it?”

Buck gave a sloppy salute. It took a lot for Eddie to turn his back on the man instead of striding forward and kissing away the pillow marks on his pale cheek but desperate times called for desperate measures.

“Mijo!” he called, stepping out of the bedroom, shirtless, and snapping the door shut immediately behind him. “How was the movie?”

“It was awesome!” Chris’s cheesy smile was everything Eddie needed in the world. Almost.

“Ed mun do,” Tía Pepa said. She raised her eyebrows, staring pointedly at his chest with a teasing smile.

Eddie looked down, remembering for the first time the hickey Buck had gifted him over his left pec. Where his heart was. He flushed nearly as deep as the bruise, his hand slapping over it immediately.

“Uh…”

There’s really nothing I can say to defend myself here, is there? he thought with a sinking feeling.

“What do you say we all go out for dinner tonight?” Buck’s booming voice asked. He entered the living room and clapped his hands together in a very convincing show of enthusiasm. It might have been a successful distraction had the shirt he was wearing not been inside out and backwards.

Eddie’s free hand wiped over his face. He groaned low in his throat.

“Can we get pizza?” Chris asked, always a shrewd negotiator.

“Absolutely,” Buck said immediately. “Let me just get my wallet. From the kitchen.” He gave Eddie a significant look as he ducked out of the room.

“This is…new.” Tía Pepa said. “I would have stopped trying to set you up with so many young ladies if I knew.”

“New?” Chris asked curiously. “Dad and Buck have been dating for like three months, Tía.”

“Eddie.” Pepa’s face crumpled, her eyes shining sadly. “You could have told me. I wouldn’t have cared that you were gay.”

“I’m not,” instinct (or habit?) compelled Eddie to say. It was an automatic response he was still learning to question, anyway. “Or maybe I am. I don’t know. What does it matter? I’m sure I love Buck. The rest of it is just…” Eddie waved his hand around in the air dismissively.

“As long as you’re happy,” Tía Pepa said. “You, Christopher, and your novio. That’s all that matters.” She stepped forward to kiss his cheek just as Buck emerged from the kitchen holding his wallet aloft like a fair prize.

“Ready to go?” he asked them all, charmingly oblivious.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Tía Peppa said firmly.

Eddie’s fondness for her ached in his chest.

Love can be like that sometimes, he thought, looking at Buck. He never wanted to look away. What they had was worth a million awkward explanations and hasty wardrobe changes.

Two: Maddie

When Maddie made her escape to L.A. she didn’t let herself think too hard about what she might find there. Despite reading all of Evan’s postcards more frequently than a pastor read his bible passages, Maddie didn’t really know her brother anymore. She was well aware how simple (and painful) it was to put on a happy face for the world when the reality was anything but.

Evan had been on his own for so long. It was impossible to imagine what he must have gone through on his own for all those years. 

So even though she knew it probably wouldn’t be considered the most well-adjusted approach, Maddie decided to surprise her baby brother at home. While he wasn’t there. Just to make sure. It was the only way she could be certain that he wasn’t  hiding anything from her. The truth would only be laid bare when he wasn’t there to cover it up with half-convincing smiles.

So she went to the address on the last post card. From there it was simple enough to bat her eyelashes at the superintendent of his building and get herself let into his apartment.

Her first impression of the place was that it was bare. The furniture was neutral, the counters pristine, the art so bland the place could have been an Airbnb. For all she knew, maybe it was. 

The fridge was the only place in the entire apartment that gave her a glimpse of the man who lived there. Bare except for two things. A child’s drawing—a surprisingly accurate t-rex about to chomp on a meticulously colored purple mandala heart. A Griffith observatory magnet held it in place. 

Another magnet, this one a lion with the name of the Los Angeles Zoo proudly emblazoned above it, held up a photo strip. It was one of those cheap ones from a photo booth. There was Evan, smiling big and wide on the left with his arm stretched around the two people beside him. A young boy sat between Evan and a man with dark eyes and perfect hair. The man was handsome, in a magazine or movie star kind of way.

Maddie could only wonder exactly how much she’d missed of her brother’s life. His last postcard had been only a handful of months ago, full of poorly-disguised moping about some woman who clearly didn’t deserve him. Not if she was going to run off across the sea with no notice, leaving him with nothing but empty promises and an offer to sublease her apartment.

She was still admiring the picture when a key scraped into the lock. Smiling, she turned to greet her brother only to come face to face with the man whose jawline she’d just been admiring.

His eyes widened, mouth falling open.

“Maddie,” he breathed. “Oh my God.” He darted a glance over his shoulder, looking almost panicked. “Buck doesn’t know you’re here.”

For a moment, Maddie was stunned into silence.

He knows my name? But, more importantly—

“Buck?” she asked, confused. 

Does he mean…?

“Eds, did you say something? I couldn’t hear—” her brother strode in with a pair of grocery bags in each hand, skidding to a stop when his eyes met hers.

“Maddie,” he gasped. The bags dropped from his hands. The man beside him winced at the sound of something cracking. Cans and loose fruit rolled in every direction. The stranger's gaze jumped between Buck and Maddie, brow furrowed with concern. 

“What are you doing here?” Buck asked, oblivious to it all. His eyes never strayed from her.

“I can’t want to visit my baby brother?” Maddie said teasingly. 

“Where’s Doug?” Buck’s voice was dull. He knelt, gathering up the oranges that had rolled out of one of the bags.

Maddie pursed her lips with a shrug. “Boston, probably. Don’t know, don’t care.”

Buck’s head snapped up, his gaze catching hers again. “You left him.”

She shrugged again, throat too tight for words. She ran a finger across the counter, surprised and how spotless her messy little brother kept the cool granite.

He’s a different person now , she thought with a bittersweet pang. He’s grown so much since I last saw him.

It stung, knowing she’d missed so much, but it still warmed her heart to know he had grown into a man of his own making. Someone she could get to know all over again. That alone would make everything she’d done to get here worth it.

“I prefer to think of it as starting over.” She shrugged, aiming for nonchalance. “Seems like you’ve done the same. So, who’s this?” She let her voice take on a little sing-song note as she asked the question. A sly smile escaped as she teased him. “Are you two living together?”

The stranger’s eyes bugged out, his mouth falling open like he was going to answer. Buck beat him to it.

“This is Eddie. We aren’t—he hasn’t asked me to move in yet. Not that I’m expecting that!” Buck hastened to add, turning wide eyes to his partner. 

Eddie was looking at Buck like he personally hung the moon and stars. He cleared his throat, shuffling his feet and blushing as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Chris would love it if you did, when the time is right.”

Chris, the kid from the pictures—his son, Maddie realized. Buck was dating a single dad. Is he still a single dad if he’s dating someone? Whatever.

The look they shared told Maddie everything she needed to know. It was like a fifty pound weight lifted off her shoulders.

Buck hadn't been alone. He was loved. Happy.

She had come to L.A. partly because she had nowhere else to go and partly because she loved and missed her brother more than anything.

But mostly, it was because she had been worried about him. Cut adrift all those years with the idea that he needed to let himself hurt before anyone would show him love lurking in his head. 

There was someone else to worry about Buck now. A person who touched his shoulder with gentle hands and bent down to help clean up a mess he didn’t even make.

Buck was going to be okay. 

And so was she.

Three: Shannon

Buck wasn’t expecting anyone, but Eddie was friendly with a lot of his neighbors, so he didn’t think much of the knock on the door at first. 

“Hi, can I help you?” he asked the woman on the other side brightly. She was dressed in a yellow, floral summer dress. Her hair fell in perfect waves over her shoulders, framing a thin gold necklace on a svelte chain. She was pretty, in a girl-next-door kind of way. 

Please don’t be a Mormon missionary or something. Buck covered the thought with a pleasant smile.

“Oh, um,” the woman peered over Buck’s shoulder into the sliver of the living room she could see, biting her lip uncertainly. “I’m looking for Eddie? Edmundo Diaz. Is he…this is his home, right?”

“Yeah,” Buck said slowly, brow furrowed. “He’s not in. Can I take a message?” He didn’t recognize the woman from the neighborhood and she didn’t look like any of the people they had saved on calls lately. Plus, those people usually just showed up at the firehouse. With food. He double checked, just in case, but there was nothing in her hands. Not so much as a thank you card. Weird.

“Oh, no,” the woman smiled awkwardly. Her hand fluttered toward her heart and then away before it could touch down. “This is a bit personal. Do you know when he’ll be back?”

Before Buck could answer, Chris shouted from the kitchen, “Hey, Pops, who’s at the door? I thought you said we could go to the beach when I was done with breakfast!”

The nickname never failed to make Buck beam with pride. He and Eddie hadn’t been together that long, but after hearing Buck refer to Bobby as Pops a couple times, Chris asked if it was okay if he called Buck that too. Eddie had been surprisingly enamored of the idea despite Buck’s fears about stepping on his toes.

“It’s nobody you know, Chris,” Buck shouted back, “just some lady looking for your dad. Put your plate in the sink and we can go in a minute, okay, bud?” 

Turning back to the woman with an apologetic smile, Buck was just about to tell her that he didn’t give away Eddie’s schedule to strangers and he and Chris were about to head out themselves so if she wouldn’t mind…?

But the emotion shining in her eyes stopped him cold. He couldn’t name it, but he could see the stiffness in the way she set her jaw and the overwhelm in how she fisted her hands in the skirt of her pretty dress.

“I’m sorry, you must be Eddie’s…?” She trailed off, eyebrows raising expectantly.

“Partner,” Buck filled in with a happy sigh. It was the term that they had both sort of settled on without really discussing it. Buck was sometimes tempted to call them boyfriends, but he wasn’t entirely sure how Eddie would react to that. This was only Buck’s second serious relationship. And Eddie was still so new to the idea of being queer. Buck didn’t want to spook him.

“Oh,” the woman breathed, her voice higher pitched than before. She smiled with too many teeth. “That’s, wow, um, I didn’t know he was—actually this makes so much sense.” She barked a laugh, shaking her head and looking up at the sky. Despite the big grin on her face, Buck got the impression that she wasn’t actually all that happy.

Buck matched her smile, angling his shoulders to fill the doorway more completely. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, “I’m confused. Who are you?”

Her smile softened a little as she looked at him. Her gaze was sharper, more critical. Whereas before Buck had simply been an obstacle in the way of her getting into the house, speaking to Eddie, now he felt like he was the object of her undivided scrutiny.

“At least he picked a handsome one,” she sighed to herself. “I can’t really fault his taste, I guess.” Straightening up, she held out her slim, pale hand. “I’m sorry, it’s so rude of me not to introduce myself. I’m Shannon. Eddie’s wife.”

In an instant, several things became clear.

Buck swallowed thickly.

“You’re Shannon. That Shannon. The Shannon,” Buck babbled. Suddenly he was hyper aware of the stain on his shirt and the unkempt frizz of his morning curls. “The divorce Shannon, I mean, the Shannon that Eddie is divorcing because of me. Well, not because of me e-exactly, tha-that’s, um, I guess I played a role in the whole—he did file those papers like the day before he asked me out so I guess in a-a way, y’know, that’s kinda on me I guess—”

Shannon cut him off by slapping a hand over her mouth to stifle her giggles, shoulders shaking as she tried to suppress her laughter. After a moment she took a deep breath and wiped a tear from her eye, still smiling and shaking her head. 

“Oh my God, you’re perfect for him. What a mess. Listen—” she paused, surprise flickering across her face. “I don’t know your name. My son calls you ‘Pops’ and I don’t know your name.”

“Buck. Uh, Evan Buckley. But everyone calls me—”

“Buck, yeah I get that.” She smiled at him. The expression on her face was a little bittersweet but genuine. 

“I’m not here to cause trouble or make anything difficult for you or Eddie,” she said. “Or, God forbid, Chris. I’ve failed that kid enough for one lifetime. I just want to make things right. Even if I’m not sure exactly what that looks like. Just, please, have Eddie call me, okay? My number is still the same. I unblocked him. I know, I know.” She held up a hand before Buck could say anything. “I have a lot to make up for, if that’s even possible. I get it. All I’m asking for is the chance to try.”

Buck’s shoulder slumped down from where they had crept up around his ears. For months, ever since that first night when Chris had told him about his mom leaving, Buck had secretly kind of hated this woman. Who could leave such an adorable kid? Any kid? Just abandoned him in the night, with a single sentence written on a note for Eddie. 

Yeah, neither of them had been perfect and Buck hadn’t been there to witness it. But he’d sure been ready to pick a side in the aftermath. As far as Shannon went, Buck knew he’d never be impartial about what she’d done. But it seemed like she really wanted to try now. Chris and Eddie deserved that closure.

“I’ll tell him,” Buck promised softly.

“Buck! I’m getting changed for the beach!” Chris shouted from inside.

Buck looked over his shoulder frantically and then back at Shannon.

“I guess that’s my cue to go.” She smiled tightly. “I don’t…he probably…anyway. Tell Eddie I’m really proud of him, okay? It’s good to know he’s finally being true to himself.” Then with an awkward little wave, Shannon turned and left just as abruptly as she’d arrived.

Buck stood there for a minute, watching as she climbed in her little car and pulled out of the driveway. Then he shut the door and immediately texted Eddie.

“Pops, the beach!” Chris called from the kitchen again.

“Do you have your floaties?” Buck called back.

“Duh .”

Damn, I really thought he’d finally gotten over using that word so much.

Our kid? Buck thought, his heart beating wildly. Does he mean ‘our’ as in his and Shannon’s or our as in…

Swallowing thickly, he pocketed his phone and went to check on Chris. There was no more time to worry about that, or Shannon, or any of the million things outside of his control. He’d promised the best kid in the world a day at the beach, and that was exactly what he was going to deliver.

Plus One: Everyone

Bobby loved few things more than hosting. The chance to show off some of his favorite recipes and share them with people he cared for deeply was a true gift. He especially loved it when the sun set, towards the end of the evening when things were winding down. Nobody had left yet but they had all eaten and were standing around outside, looking up at the stars and the twinkle lights he’d convinced Athena to let him put up in the back yard.

“Pops,” Chris asked, “when can we go back to the observatory?” 

Bobby opened his mouth automatically to respond—Buck didn’t call him that very often, especially now that the kid seemed to have settled into his skin. Buck mostly called him Cap now, but Bobby still thought of himself as ‘Pops’ when he wasn’t paying attention.

“Sure,” Buck said, easily.

Heat flushed across Bobby’s face as he realized—he wasn’t Pops, this time. That honor belonged to another man.

Bobby cut his gaze to Eddie, apologetically. Only Eddie wasn’t paying any attention to Bobby’s near blunder. His eyes were locked solely on Buck. Just like Chris’s.

“Maybe next weekend,” Buck continued. No surprise at the nickname, no pause about how Eddie might feel to hear his son refer to Buck that way. “Your dad and I have that Saturday off.”

“Sounds good to me.” Eddie smiled at them both and then took a pull of his beer.

Hen and Karen exchanged a long look. Chin elbowed Hen, jerking a thumb at Buck and Eddie with an expression that clearly said, ‘can you believe these guys?’. 

Maddie’s eyes welled with tears as the hand not holding her wine glass pressed over her heart. Her lower lip stuck out a little as she stared at Buck and Chris.

“How long has this been going on?” Athena asked archly. She pointed between Buck and Eddie with her eyebrows up near her hair line.

“Three months and eight days,” Eddie said, beaming.

Poor Buck looked like he’d been struck straight in the heart by Cupid’s arrow.

“You remembered,” he murmured, so quiet Bobby almost missed the words.

“Of course.” Eddie matched his tone, holding his eyes as he said the words. 

“Three months, wow.” Bobby did some quick math in his head. “That’s about when you started with the one-eighteen.”

“That’s exactly when you started at the station,” Hen agreed. She arched an eyebrow.

“You gotta respect a man who moves fast,” Chim said. “I just didn’t think our little Buckaroo would ever find someone who could match his speed.”

“Yeah,” Eddie rubbed the back of his neck, a blush staining his cheeks. “We actually had a little run up to that. That day at the station wasn’t exactly our first meeting. It’s a long story.” Bobby could have let it drop there. Probably should have, he knew. But this was Buck’s heart on the line. That kid was his responsibility.

“We have all night.” Karen took a long sip of her wine, eyes trained on Eddie.

Hen looked at Denny, sitting beside Karen with his full focus on the Switch in his hands. “Well, we have another hour or two at least,” Hen said.

Something occurred to Bobby that washed all his good feeling away in a cold tide.

“If I’m not mistaken, your intake paperwork said you were married.” Bobby tried to keep the accusation out of his voice but he knew he was unsuccessful when Buck winced.

“Yeah,” Eddie sighed, squaring his shoulders to Bobby. “The divorce was just finalized last week. We had a little holdup over, uh…” Eddie’s eyes flicked to his son and then away again quickly.

Bobby nodded. The memory of his own mother walking away, leaving him with his father, would always feel raw. No matter how many years had passed.

“Getting into contact with my ex. But she was really happy for us when she reached out,” Eddie concluded. “So it’s all signed and filed now. That chapter of my life is officially done.”

“But we’re still gonna see mom for Christmas, right?” Chris asked anxiously.

“Of course, mijo,” Eddie assured the boy quickly. “She promised she’d make it. When you want to see her all you have to do is let me know and we can set something up. If she’s not busy.”

“It’s okay, daddy,” Chris patted Eddie’s hand gently. “I have you and Buck and Abuelita and Tía Pepa and all my cousins and all our friends. So it’s okay if mommy’s busy. We have lots of people who love us, so we’ll be okay.”

“You’re the best kid in the world, you know that?” Eddie asked, tears in his eyes.

Chris shrugged. “You’re the best dad in the world so it’s kinda easy.”

“So when were you gonna tell us all you were dating?” Hen asked. It was a kindness, a distraction from the unshed tears glimmering in Eddie and Buck’s eyes.

“Did you not know?” Buck blinked, appearing genuinely surprised. 

“We agreed not to say anything right away because it was so new,” Eddie said. He turned to Buck. “I thought eventually but…I guess we forgot to tell them.”

“You think we should?” Buck whispered conspiratorially, just loud enough for everyone to hear.

“Well, everyone,” Eddie grinned, “hold on to your seats because we’ve got an announcement to make.”

“We’re getting married!” Buck yelled, throwing his arms up in the air. Every head turned to look at him at once, mouths agape. Even Eddie’s. “Kidding,” Buck clarified. “Just kidding.”

Judging by the thoughtful look on Eddie’s face, Bobby doubted that he would be kidding for long.

I wonder how long it takes to get ordained to officiate a wedding? He thought idly. Not that anything in life was guaranteed, but it always paid to be prepared.

“Okay,” Hen said, “Now that my heart attack is over, can someone please tell me how the two of you happened?”

“I’m dying to know,” Karen added, leaning forward excitedly.

“Um.” Buck locked eyes with Maddie, the only one who already knew the full story. She snorted, quickly hiding her smirk in her wine glass.

“Well, it’s a funny story.” Eddie chuckled. “Hen, do you remember when Denny and Chris were in science day camp together?”

“The one you got banned from and then left a one star google review about their lax child safety policies?” Hen asked. “And then talked me into pulling Denny from like a week before the state came in and shut it down? Oh, trust and believe, I won’t be forgetting about that any time soon.”

Karen nodded, looking more intrigued by the second. “That all happened so fast I had to take two days off work until we could find another daycare to take him.”

“It sucked,” Denny looked up from his Switch long enough to add. He’d been so quiet this whole time, Bobby almost forgot he was there.

“Well, about that…” Eddie launched into the story. He explained how they met, each word more insane than the last. He ended the story with a love-struck look at Buck, who had sunk low in his seat, cringing into himself as he awaited the judgement of the one-eighteen. 

Hen choked on her beer, coughing and grabbing a napkin.

“Are you okay, sweetie?” Karen asked, rubbing Hen’s back.

“I had you kidnap a child ?” Hen looked at Buck aghast. “I sent you there to pick up a kid and they just…gave you one without asking any questions?”

“I always knew you had it in you to be a mob boss,” Chim quipped.

Maddie slapped his shoulder gently, giggling more than the joke deserved. Bobby tucked a smile away into his glass of lemonade. 

They would be good for each other, those two , he thought approvingly. 

“That place is lucky they got shut down,” Athena muttered darkly. “Child endangerment doesn’t even begin to cut it. What kind of staff were they hiring? What kind of training did they even have? I have half a mind…”

Bobby reached out, rubbing his wife’s shoulder soothingly. “Honey, I love your protective streak. You know I do. However, I’m pretty sure this case has already been handled.”

Athena pursed her lips and took another sip of wine.

“I was involved in a kidnapping and I didn’t even know it,” Hen muttered to herself, hands covering her face.

“This is like an episode of Dateline,” Chim quipped. He leaned into the hand Maddie still had on his shoulder, grinning like a dope. “Hey, Athena, does it count as human trafficking if it wasn’t intentional?”

“Drink some water, Firefighter Han,” Athena sounded tired but amused despite herself. Bobby mentally calculated how long it would be until his wife was sagging against his shoulder, trying not to yawn as she forced herself to stay awake.

She always gets sleepy after a few glasses of wine, he thought fondly.

“I’m horrified that our child was at that daycare,” Karen said, pressing the hand not holding her wine to her heart. “But does it make me a terrible parent if I say that, at the same time, I am living for this drama? Like, how do you go from unintentional abduction to certified baby daddy?” She shook her head. “I had no idea, Buck.”

“I told you Chim had Denny!” Hen waved her arm around, “Why didn’t you say anything about the unknown child in your back seat when we were on the phone? I could have helped you.”

“You would have called Athena,” Buck said with a pout.

“He didn’t need help,” Eddie said defensively. He reached out for Buck, tangling their fingers together in solidarity. “He did exactly the right thing.”

“Sure, you can say that now, in hindsight,” Athena added archly. “It’s not often you find true love by committing a class C felony. But, Buck, it goes without saying that if you ever come into custody of a child who is unknown to you again—”

“I’ll call you. Promise.” Buck crossed his heart. Eddie’s grin grew as he watched him. “I’ve learned my lesson. I’m not in the market for another family.”

Karen awwed, louder than she would without half a bottle of the good stuff warming her belly. Hen smiled at her wife so softly it made Bobby’s heart ache. Maddie leaned her head on a red-cheeked Chim’s shoulder, dreamy gaze on the stars.

Bobby looked around at each of their smiling, laughing faces as they teased each other. For so many years, Bobby believed he could never have something like this again. That he didn’t deserve it. But now he was beginning to think maybe that was what love really was—loving each other, forgiving each other, and seeing the best in each other no matter what mistakes were made along the way.

They had built this together—every one of them. And they would stay together to support each other through whatever came next. Through joy and grief, good times and bad, none of them would ever be alone again. That’s what it meant, to be a family. To be the one-eighteen.

Bobby couldn’t have been more proud.