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Dan Heng did not call Stelle a raccoon for no reason, and it wasn’t just because of her love of trashcans. She genuinely loved exploring new worlds, picking them apart and scavenging around to immerse herself in it. Even for a nameless, her dedication was impressive. But because of the unorthodox way she integrated herself into new worlds, she frequently ended turning up trouble.
Dan Heng knew this. He was prepared for this.
… but he wasn’t. Not really.
It had been several weeks since they’d first crashed on Amphoreus. The first two weeks in particular had been filled with fights and chaos, resulting in them getting so beaten up that the most trouble Stelle and Dan Heng were able to get into on their lonesome was losing a piece of the game Dan Heng was teaching Stelle to play. Though she engaged and was quite good at it, he could tell she missed her video games. He noticed the melancholy way she’d tap at her phone and once hear her mutter something about a log-in streak and missing out on premium currency.
When they had recovered enough, Stelle decided to head out and explore the town in her usual odd way. Dan Heng had given her the normal ‘behave yourself’ warning, sending the smiling girl off while also knowing she would find some trouble to dive into. Prepared for the inevitable chaos, Dan Heng thought he would be content to sit back and find things to read.
Instead, every incident—and they were shockingly frequent—grated on him more and more.
There was a rather scary incident involving her passing out in the bath. Someone mentioned she’d sparked a Holy Candle to light, the backlash of power knocking her out. He’d had to carry her back to their room. As he did, rumors of other strange sightings around other Holy Candles reached his ears. When Stelle woke back in their room, she told him of her self-imposed mission to spark the broken lights back to life and the weird things that happened as a result. He’d had to warn her to stop messing with divine structures.
Next, Stelle found herself in the center of a marketing scam. Apparently, some swindlers were attempting to sell so called ‘unbreakable’ war equipment, which Stelle had decided to very thoroughly test out. Her test soon became a massive spectacle as she revealed the products for what they were. In terms of trouble she could find herself in, Dan Heng considered it benign. Yet, he changed his opinion when people began searching her out for both assistance in verifying quality weaponry and testing their wares. Dan Heng was growing rather weary of shooing people away from their door. She wasn’t even in half the time, anyway.
After being swarmed as frequently as she had, Stelle had decided to stay inside for a bit. Dan Heng had been relieved at her choice, thinking she would be getting into substantially less trouble. Instead, she managed to find it anyway. A certain bath salt concoction had practically knocked Stelle out in the bath, and when she’d come back to her senses well over an hour later, she’d talked at length of the voices she’d heard under the influence of the salts. After concluding Stelle didn’t just randomly find these salts, Dan Heng had interrogated the front desk sales lady about just what they were selling at this bath.
Even after Dan Heng had decided to stick by her side to prevent her from getting into any more trouble, the chaos still lingered. Such as her fascination with a lyre in the main hallway of Marmoreal Palace leading her to ask if he’d use his water powers to play it. Or following her up and down an elevator five times trying to collect a butterfly. He still remembered the weird looks people were giving them with each round, looks Stelle didn’t even seem to notice whatsoever.
He didn’t even know how she found things like this, but one thing was for certain: he was just so very done with everything.
And worse yet, Stelle knew it. He knew she knew it. The stories she’d tell of her daily adventures were growing less animated, and her smile was growing more strained with each random tablet or scroll she presented to him. The last one she just left on the table, not even bothering to inform him.
The ever-present sun made it hard to tell time here. He had to check his phone to confirm it was morning. Early morning. Setting it back down, he looked toward the other side of the bed where Stelle was still asleep, her back toward him. Yet another thing he’d noticed: her teasing comments of sharing a bed had died down. They’d simply settled into the bed consisting her side and his.
From a practical standpoint, this was for the best. However, he couldn’t help but feel that even this viewpoint proved the growing rift between them. It broke his heart. Their relationship, though unexpected, was too new and tentative for it to be treated this way. He knew it was because of him. The stress of everything had finally caught up, making him far more irritable than he’d expected.
And he was taking that frustration out on the person closest to him.
He hated it.
He hated everything.
Considering it was early, the palace should be quite empty. Maybe it would do him well to go for a walk and clear his head before things got too busy. Remaining shut in their private room all day wasn’t good for his head, but neither was navigating the throngs of people in an unfamiliar city.
Dan Heng leaned over Stelle and gently resituated the tangled blanket over her. “I’ll be back,” he whispered, not wanting to wake her but also feeling guilty for disappearing without saying a word.
Though she didn’t wake, she did respond to his touch at her waist, settling deeper into her pillow while the corners of her lips tugged upward.
His heart squeezed at the sight. It was a small but real smile, not strained or forced or pretending everything was as it should be.
It made him feel more like a lout.
“Sorry,” he whispered so quietly that he could barely hear it. Then he slid out of bed.
After getting dressed in his patched-up clothes, he headed out the door. Just as he’d suspected, the palace was quiet this early, only a scattering of people hanging about instead of the throngs that clogged the hallways mid-day.
He found himself at a place that faced Kephale’s statue, holding up the world. He understood that titan a bit, for he too felt like all pressure was on his shoulders. As both an exile and long-lifed species, there had always been a part of him that knew the Astral Express crew would not last forever and he would need to adapt to the inevitable change. Yet, now that he was apart from it, unable to contact them and uncertain how to even attempt to do so, he felt uncomfortably alone.
Honestly, he didn’t know if having Stelle at his side made things worse or better for him. He wanted to think that if he was alone, then he’d just accept his fate as an exile once again and start off anew just as he’d been forced to do so many times before. It probably would have hurt far more than any of the other shifts, but he’d have gotten through it. Stelle at his side meant he wasn’t alone, hence his past way of dismissive thought was not an option. It kept him tethered to home. As much as he cherished that, it also meant he was responsible for getting both of them back home, something he didn’t know how to do. The world felt like it was tilting on its axis, and he didn’t know if he was going to be able to keep it up.
If only he could find some information to point him in a direction off this planet. Yet, there had been nothing. Up beyond the sky, he had to wonder if Himeko was trying to find a way to get in contact with him. What if he just needed to be in the right spot to receive it? Or what if March had taken a turn for the worse and they’d had to leave to seek medical assistance? What if they had left early on and had yet to return? He wouldn’t fault them for doing so.
He just hoped that they hadn’t left forever.
Dan Heng took a deep breath. Every time he went down this spiral, he forced himself to stop, knowing that there was no use in worrying. He and Stelle would do their best down here, and the Astral Express would go on fighting for them in every way they could while balancing whatever was happening with March. Only after they’d exhausted every possible avenue would they surrender. He had faith in them.
But the thought still made him sick.
“The world seems to be weighing on your shoulders, Master Dan Heng.”
He turned to see Aglaea walking up to him. He hadn’t heard her coming. Had he been that absorbed in his own thoughts? “It is, in a way.”
“Is there anything I can do to assist?” she offered. “You two have been nothing but a help in our journey. I’d be remiss to withhold aide when you are in need.”
“It’s… personal,” Dan Heng dismissed.
Aglaea didn’t seem convinced. With a wave of her hands, a slew of golden threads appeared around him, one even reaching out to weave around his left hand. The gold of his wedding band glittered amidst the glowing gold threads.
“Marital problems?” she inquired.
Dan Heng felt his muscles tense. The unease of these golden threads being the same ones that had previously bound him settled deep in his stomach, twisting it so tightly he felt as queasy as when he drank Himeko’s coffee.
“Don’t misunderstand,” Aglaea appeased, removing the threads from his hands. “My web was already established here before you walked into it. I could feel everything before you said a word.”
He pursed his lips, glancing away. Right, he forgot that Aglaea had this city in a chokehold. It was disconcerting. Yet another stressor to add to the pile.
“I understand you may not want to talk about it, but the threads of fate tying you and Stelle together seem to be experiencing some strain. Not common among newlyweds.”
“It’s not her,” Dan Heng confessed, deciding it best to be honest. He didn’t know how feasible it was to lie to Aglaea nor was there any reason to at the moment. “It’s… everything else.”
“That may be, but ‘everything else’ can easily tear a marriage apart if couples allow it to pile between them.”
He looked at his feet. That was sound advice. The problem was just how was he supposed to fix it?
Aglaea hummed, the remaining threads vanishing with just a wave of her hand. “Join me for tea, will you, Dan Heng? I originally intended to send for you and Stelle when you both awoke, but since she is not here, we can visit a bit before she arrives. Maybe I can pick your mind about the world beyond the sky, and you can pick mine regarding the answers you seek. Removing your fears would be one less ‘everything else’ between you and her, no?”
The woman did have a point, and Dan Heng would appreciate answers. Yet, he found his gaze drifting toward where he came, the direction of his and Stelle’s private chambers. “I was planning on getting breakfast for Stelle.” It was a weak idea at best. It would hardly fix the rift between them, but it would be a start of… something. Stelle was quite receptive to food, after all.
“Allow me to send someone to collect something for the both of you. I’ve spent enough early mornings awake to know which places offer the tastiest breakfasts.”
She wasn’t allowing any excuse for refusal, meaning Dan Heng had no reason not to accept. Maybe it was better this way, to get all his thoughts in order before facing Stelle in the first place. The sooner they solved this, the sooner Stelle would return to her normal self, unreserved grins and all. “Then I thank you.”
If Dan Heng had thought the morning would get better, he had been sorely mistaken.
“I think it’s for the best if we split up,” Stelle said.
And he was not happy about it.
“Why’s that?” Dan Heng challenged, his tone too firm for his liking. Currently, they were standing off to the side of the heroes’ bath, the Chrysos heirs waiting on their deliberation. One Dan Heng had insisted they have when Hyacine had offered to take Stelle to the grove and Stelle had suggested she go without him. “We’ve faced so much trouble that I’m hesitant to separate for so long. I’m coming with you to the grove.”
Stelle’s expression twisted in uncertainty. “But Hyacine offered you a bunch of texts on this world, right? She says she follows the sky titan, so if anyone has information that would lead you to an answer, it would be her.”
She wasn’t wrong. There was a part of him hesitant to give up that information, but Stelle and her safety were more important. They always would be. Leaving her to go alone, even though she was capable, made him feel uneasy.
“So it’s settled.”
“It is not,” Dan Heng disagreed.
Hesitantly, Stelle reached for Dan Heng’s hand, holding it in both of hers. “I think we need a break.”
His mind went blank.
Unable to hold his gaze, Stelle’s eyes dropped to the ring on his finger. She began toying with it, slowly twisting it one way, then the other as she rubbed her fingers over it. “You’re getting really stressed out because I’m not giving you enough quiet time, right? And you’re not happy with anything I’m bringing you to read. I think some time apart would be good.”
His gut was twisting into knots, a cold dread sinking into his bones. An icy sense of isolation was creeping up on him, and this was one of the few times he could recall that this fear truly scared him. He laid his free hand on top of their hand pile, clinging to her tightly as he took a half-step closer to her. “It’s not because of you. I’m just worried about everyone else, and even if we can’t find a way to escape quite yet, I at least want to get into contact with them. I just… I haven’t found a way to do that yet.”
Her lips pursed half twitching up into a sympathetic smile. “I am, too,” she softly confirmed. “I’m worried about March and if she’s okay. I’m worried that not even the memokeeper knew that this would happen or how to fix it. I hope everyone is managing up there. But… I feel like… you’re bothered with me, too.”
The weight of his regret struck him in the chest. His actions had come back to bite him, but he wasn’t just going to take the consequence lying down. “I’m sorry,” he said. “It’s not fair of me to be harsh on you. I want to fix this, and I know you’re counting on me, but I can’t do anything.”
“I know,” she said. “But that’s why I think it’s better this way. I’ll go explore, which will leave you with enough quiet time to read to your heart’s content without me being a distraction. Besides, we’re trailblazers, right? We can cover more ground this way so that we really solve the fuel problem when we get back home.”
For the first time in a very long while, maybe ever, Dan Heng was faced with the strange reality that Stelle was being the logical one while his emotions were running rampant. “I still don’t like it,” he protested.
“I’ll be fine,” Stelle assured, forcing a smile that wasn’t nearly as bright as it should be. “The black tide isn’t there, right? Besides, with Castorice, Trianne, and Hyacine, it really makes it whole ‘girl trip’ thing. You’d ruin the vibe.”
Though she meant it as a joke, it felt more like a barb. It punctured his resolve, and he felt his will to fight deflating fast. With a sigh, he tightened his hold on her hands. “Fine,” he relented. “Promise you’ll be safe and behave.”
Finally, a little haze lifted from her golden eyes. It made him wonder if this really would be good for both of them. “I promise.”
On the day of their parting, Dan Heng had told himself he would send her off with a smile and a word of luck instead of a wish she didn’t leave. It was hard to bite back the words he wanted to say, his regret warning him that this was all because of his actions.
Much to his surprise, instead of simply returning the sentiment, she presented him with a book.
“It’s a notebook,” she said. “Your other one is getting full, right? And I know you prefer paper and pen instead of typing down notes. With all the reading you’ll be doing, this should last you until I get back. Hopefully, you’ll be able to find the things you’re looking for.”
He held the book in his hands, looking down at it with awe.
Stelle stepped away, grabbing a new bag packed with some clothes for the travels. She’d picked it up at the market yesterday when she went shopping with Tribbie and Hyacine. She must have gotten the book as well.
“Thank you, Stelle.”
She walked toward the door, putting more space between them. “I’ll see you in… a week or two, okay?”
“Have a safe trip.”
With a nod, she headed out the door.
The moment the door shut, he felt himself deflate. He should have said more. Should have told her… what, exactly. Something. Something more than he said.
Frustrated, he dropped the notebook down on the pile of new research material piled on the table in their private chambers. Hyacine had not held back with information, which was wonderful, but he didn’t have much interest in reading at the moment.
Absently, he flipped through the journal, looking over the faintly lined pages as they rolled past. When he flipped through them all, he almost dropped the cover when a black scribble caught his eye. There, in the back of the front cover, was Stelle’s messy scrawl.
Enjoy your research! But don’t skip meals and be sure to get out for a walk every now and then. Take care!
His heart clenched as he ran his fingers over the lettering. Even after all he’d done to push her away, she was still showing how much she cared for him.
He was a terrible person. Stelle didn’t deserve to be the target he took out his frustrations on. Yet, that’s what he’d been doing, however unintentional.
Leaning against the table, he hung his head, his eyes scrunching shut in shame. More importantly than delving into research about the sky, he needed to analyze his own attitude and figure out how to fix it so that when Stelle returned, he’d be able to give her a true, proper apology. Not to make himself feel better or to get rid of the guilt but instead because he realized, far too late, that he loved Stelle. And no matter the state of their relationship—be that friends, lovers, or truly married—she deserved better from him than this.
Dan Heng was growing tired of her.
No, she needed to rephrase because for the first time, that sentiment genuinely stung. Dan Heng was growing restless because he wasn’t getting enough quiet time, and her antics were beginning to put him on edge.
Ugh, that still stung.
She hadn’t expected this to hurt as bad as it did. Before they’d crashed on Amphoreus, Stelle was used to Dan Heng giving her that one particular sigh. The one that held a touch of a warning growl within it, begging for an escape from her and March’s antics before he lost his mind. Previously, she’d just laugh it off while she sauntered away, knowing that it was time to give Dan Heng his space for a bit. But things had changed drastically. That particular sigh now set her on edge and made her feel guilty for offending him. At first, she’d tried to brush it off the same way she would have on the Astral Express, but it was getting much harder to do so. Was it because they were a couple now? Was it because she wondered if he was rethinking everything concerning their relationship?
“Mem?”
At the strange version of her name, Stelle looked up to see Mem floating beside her, their little gaze concerned.
“Are you okay?” the creature asked in the voice only Stelle could decipher.
No. She really wasn’t. But she didn’t know how to begin telling the truth. “I’m fine,” she lied.
Mem didn’t look convinced. “You’ve been sulking this whole time. And when you left Dan Heng, you looked sad.”
Great, she couldn’t even lie about it. “It’s fine. Everything is fine.”
From up front, Trianne harrumphed. “That means you’re not fine.”
“I am.”
“Puh-lease. Little Gray hasn’t been her normal self since we left.”
Even Castorice gave Stelle a look of concern. “If anything is bothering you, we’d be happy to listen.”
Stelle heaved sigh. Wonderful. They all knew.
“See?” Mem said, little hands on their hips. “I knew it was something.”
It was, but… where did Stelle even begin. Oh, you know how Dan Heng and I are married? Well, it’s all a sham and now I’m worried he’s going to dump me because he realized that I’m too annoying. “It’s difficult to describe.”
“We still have time before we reach the grove,” Castorice assured. “And if it’s bothering you that much, then we want to help in whatever way we can.”
“Agreed!” Mem chimed up.
“That’s what we’re here for!” Trianne concurred.
Stelle took a moment, trying to figure out where to begin and how to cover her lie. At least Aglaea wasn’t here. It would have been impossible to lie to her, and she would have sussed them out with those golden threads of hers. Stelle still didn’t know how she’d managed to fool the woman before, but she highly doubted she’d be able to again. “It’s… marriage stuff.”
“I knew it!” Trianne said. “You and Dan Heng have been acting weird lately. Tribbie said you looked kinda sad, and Hyacine said you two had an argument.”
“It wasn’t an argument, Trianne,” Castorice chastised. Yet, there was a hint of uncertainty in her tone.
Aeons, Stelle had been delusional to think she’d hid this even remotely well. She covered her face with a hand.
“Sorry,” Castorice spoke. “We didn’t mean to offend.”
“It’s not that. It’s…” Stelle shrugged, fighting for words. “We’re both just stressed out, but I feel like I’m the one stressing him out, even though I know that’s not the case. At least… I don’t want to think that’s the case. He’s trying so hard to find out how to get back home or just contact our friends, but he hasn’t been able to find anything yet. And we’re both super worried because one of our closest friends was really sick when we left, so I’m trying to stay out of his way, but it seems like I can’t do anything without him finding out and getting irritated by it, which makes me feel like I’m the problem and I don’t know how to fix it because if I stay out of his way to give him the personal space I know he needs, I cause more problems for him, but even when I stay inside and out of trouble, I’m still causing problems for him. And one of these times, I swear he’s just gonna realize he made a mistake and dump me.”
Once the words started coming, they just didn’t stop, growing more and more passionate as she rambled. By the end, her heart squeezed so tightly in her chest she felt like it was going to squeeze out tears.
Mem touched a paw to her shoulder in support. Castorice looked like she wanted to do the same, her hand hovering in the air before she froze and tucked it close to her chest, ducking her head.
Trianne frowned, her wings falling slightly. “H-hey,” she stuttered out, trying her hardest to push happiness into her voice. “Dan Heng’s not gonna dump you. Trianne has seen lots of couples over the years. We’ve seen a lot of couples fight, and we’ve seen a lot of couples in love. And you and Dan Heng are definitely in love.”
“I agree,” Castorice spoke up. “It’s clear to me that Dan Heng cares for you very much. I don’t think he’s going to divorce you.”
“I don’t want to think so, but…” Words died in her throat as the tears she’d managed to hold back finally fell. It took a moment to get her bearings before Stelle wiped them away with her gloves. “S-sorry,” she muttered.
“It’s okay,” Castorice assured. “Let it out. It will only hurt more if you hold it in, pretending to be strong.”
The tears came harder, and Stelle turned away, scrubbing at her cheeks as though that would make the tears disappear. “I don’t want to fight,” she said, her voice warbly. “I hate it. I hate all of it. I just want things to go back to the way they were.”
Mem snuggled against her shoulder. “They will. It’s okay.”
“I… I really love him.”
The words rolled so easily off her tongue. She knew that fact, of course; she’d loved him for ages. Even early on, she’d been drawn to him, but the more she learned about this weird library hermit, the more she found herself fascinated by him. Underneath the cold exterior, he was kind and protective and observant and wise and patient and so many other little things. Stelle could compare him to a garbage can: easy to overlook, a little beaten up on the outside, but full of interesting things the further down she dug. She didn’t want to stop.
And now, her favorite can had a padlock on the lid that she couldn’t lift and didn’t have the key to. It was really destressing.
“We know,” Castorice assured. “And it’s obvious Dan Heng loves you, too. But all couples fight, especially when they’re under so much stress. It must be really hard for you to worry about your friends while also navigate a new place like this.”
“Yeah,” Trianne concurred. “Trianne would be really sad if she couldn’t contact Cas or De or Snowy out of the blue.”
Stelle nodded. “I really just want to know March is okay. It’s been so long…” The camera at her back seemed to weigh twice as much as when she’d started the journey. “She has to see all the pictures I took for her. Photography and collecting images of new places is her favorite thing. She has a whole wall that she organizes with different pictures she’d taken of our adventures. It’s impressive.”
“You two sound really close,” Trianne commented.
“She’s like a sister to me. And Dan Heng. None of us really knew what was wrong because it’s not like a cold that you get over. It had something to do with being close to Amphoreus and a past she can’t remember. Her powers were acting up and…” Stelle shrugged. “Even the most knowledgeable member of the train couldn’t put any pieces together.”
Thinking about it, maybe she shouldn’t be divulging all this information to the Chrysos Heirs, but on the other hand, it felt nice to actually talk about it. No secrets, no dancing around the subject, no pretending nothing was bothering her so as not to upset someone else.
“But Dan Heng and I had to come here because we have to explore new places to fuel our train or we’ll be stuck without any place to go. As long as Dan Heng and I are here, the Astral Express can keep going, but we don’t know how they’re doing or if they’re okay. And they’re probably freaking out that they can’t reach us. Welt isn’t going to sleep, and neither is Himeko. Akivili knows Pom-pom is probably going to sweep the carpet so much it will start falling out but they won’t be able to stop their nervous habit. Then Sunday is probably going to feel uselessly awkward with everything because he’s so new. I guarantee this was not what he signed up for when he agreed to travel with us.
“Then Dan Heng…” She rubbed a stressed hand down her face, pressing her fingers over her eyes in hopes the tears would stay in. “He’s trying so hard and he’s going to run himself into the ground fighting. And I admire it so much, but he just needs to stop. I can’t stand him hurting himself like this, and I can’t do anything.”
For a moment, there was silence. Then Trianne came over to hold Stelle’s hand. “If we could open a century gate to your friends,” they said, their normal jovial voice calmly sincere, “we would. But… we can’t.”
Stelle squeezed their little hand back. “Thanks, Trianne. If only it were that simple.”
“I have an idea, though. We should ask Agy for help. She would know—”
“I don’t want to bring Lady Aglaea into it.” The image of Dan Heng came to mind, struggling against her golden threads the last time anything related to the sky escaped into the public. She found herself rubbing on her own wrists.
Ashamed, Castorice quickly looked away.
Propping her hands on her hips, Trianne frowned at being so quickly shot down. “I know Agy went a little overboard, but you two are our helpers from beyond the sky. Surely she would know something.”
“Lady Trianne,” Castorice cut in. “I… think it’s best we listen to Stelle’s wishes.”
“Ughh, fine. If you say so, Cas. I still think that’s the best way, but…”
“I’d prefer not,” Stelle reiterated. She then shot a smile at Castorice, silently mouthing her thanks.
It was enough to ease Castorice’s sullen expression.
Having been quiet for this long, Mem flew in front of Stelle. “Dan Heng might find something in his new research! He has a bunch of new books, and you left him that notebook to put all the interesting new things in.”
“Yeah, I guess so,” Stelle reluctantly agreed, swiping away the last of the damp tear-trails from her cheeks. “We’ll just have to hope, right?”
“And,” Mem continued, “with all the quiet time, he’ll be happy when you return!”
Stelle scoffed. “Maybe. A girl can hope, right?”
“Hey! What did the little rabbit say?”
Huffy, Mem put their hands on their hips, shooting Trianne a glare. “I’m not a rabbit.”
Stelle translated, “That Hyacine gave Dan Heng a lot of new information and that he might find something.”
“Oh yeah,” Trianne spoke. “He’s very studious, always asking questions. We tried to give him information, but not even we know everything. Maybe Hyacine could help since she follows Aquila. Or maybe he’s already asked Agy for help.”
“See?” Castorice said. “There’s hope on that front.”
Stelle made a show of crossing her fingers. “As long as he’s not still mad at me.”
“Why would he be mad at you after all this time?” Trianne asked. “You’re worrying over something so weird.”
Stelle’s brow furrowed. “You think?”
“Yeah. It’s hard to stay mad at someone you care about for that long. When Trianne makes Tribbie or Trinnon mad, we fight for a bit before we get sad and apologize. And then, we go back to being happy. We can always fix our mistakes.”
“Lady Trianne has a point,” Castorice agreed. “We’ll be gone a while longer, but when you return, both of you can talk about what’s bothering you. I’m sure it’s a misunderstanding.”
Stelle pursed her lips, uncertainty still haunting her. “I’d like to think so. I just don’t know how to make things better. The only thing I knew how to do was leave him be for a bit. I just…” She felt for her ring under her glove, squeezing it as though it would bring her comfort. “I don’t like how we parted.” Weren’t married couples supposed to send each other off with a kiss and a smile? Because there hadn’t been much of either, and the air had been too cold for her liking.
“You should tell him that when we get home,” Castorice said.
“And say you’re sorry,” Trianne suggested. “For whatever is bothering you. Even if it’s not the right thing, then he’ll tell you what’s bothering him. That’s how Tribbie is when Trianne doesn’t apologize for the right thing. Like if Trianne ate something Tribbie wanted, but Tribbie was upset because Trianne left a mess in the kitchen!”
With an amused smile, Castorice shook her head. “Maybe you shouldn’t have done either.”
“The point is that Trianne wouldn’t have known if Tribbie didn’t tell her. So Little Gray and Dan Heng just have to do the same thing! So, cheer up, Little Gray. Things are looking up!”
Were they? Stelle felt like she was lost in such dark turmoil that their solution seemed almost too easy.
“Though Lady Trianne’s assessment may sound simple,” Castorice added in, “I also agree. You may have needed this time apart so you can both come back together with a clear head. Although… this trip might be longer than both of you need. Maybe it would be best to think not about what went wrong, but rather how to approach correcting it. You might have Mem, but I don’t think this is a case where you need to change the past. It would be more worthwhile to look to the future.”
“That’s right!” Trianne said. “You and Dan Heng are newly married, right? This is what Agy means when she says people have to build their relationship. She says couples who want to last forever have to build Pragma. That’s a type of love where two people compromise and communicate so they can find balance in a life-long relationship.”
“Oh, right,” Castorice said. “I forgot. Aglaea does talk about that kind of love being the backbone of a long-lasting relationship, but it’s built slowly over time.”
“Yup. So that means Little Gray and Dan Heng just have to work through this so that they’ll be able to fight off other miscommunications in the future.”
Their words were filled with hope and promise, so much so that even Stelle could start to believe it. Besides, they did have a point. Though she and Dan Heng might not be married, they were newly dating. Hitting rough patches was normal, right? Just as Trianne suggested, Stelle would just have to adapt. She loved Dan Heng, and she wanted this to work. If this pragma stuff really was real, then that meant she and Dan Heng would have to talk and find a compromise, right?
Then she swore Himeko’s voice popped into her head, mentioning the art of a deal and how sometimes, to get what you want most, you have to be willing to give a little bit more than you take. No doubt, that applied here, too.
Taking all the presented advice, Stelle decided that when she got back to Dan Heng, she should lead with an apology then follow it up with some action. As for what actions she should take, she didn’t know yet, but as Castorice mentioned, there was still many days of travel ahead of them. Stelle had plenty of time to reflect on what needed to change so their fledgling relationship wouldn’t crumble before her eyes.
She didn’t realize just how happy she’d be to be back in Okhema. She and Dan Heng had previously discussed the similarities of this black tide with stellarons, but now Stelle felt as though she’d confirmed it. Seeing the corruption of the black tide was horrific, but worse yet was being able to see the memories of those who died. She felt like she was back in Belobog, navigating the fragmentem and leading ghosts of the deceased out of their turmoil and into their eternal rest. But there was no helping these people. She could only see the horrors, not offer any comfort.
Then, there was the Reaver… Trianne…
An ache settled deep into her bones, but she couldn’t collapse yet. Anaxa had asked for time before they escorted him to Lady Aglaea. He felt it his duty to inform the families of his former co-workers that their loved ones had passed on.
Stelle didn’t object to his request. They deserved to know. Thankfully, Castorice felt the same.
The duo followed the professor around as he searched out specific families, standing behind him as Anaxa broke the news over and over again. Parents who lost their daughters, sons who lost their fathers. Those broke Stelle’s heart.
But the words of Anaxa’s last visit made her physically ill.
“I’m sorry, your husband has passed.”
Stelle didn’t hear the woman’s reaction. The world disappeared around her as she grabbed her left hand, feeling for the ring hidden under her glove and pressing her fingers tight against the metal band. If things had gone even slightly different, if Trianne hadn’t opened the gate in time, if they hadn’t been able to escape the Reaver, if this… if that…
Would someone be knocking on Dan Heng’s door, speaking those words to him?
She bit her lip to keep it from quivering.
The ache in her bones doubled under the immense weight of longing, guilt, and heartbreak. Her and Dan Heng’s icy parting echoed in the forefront of their mind. What if that would have been the last time Dan Heng saw her alive? He never would have known how much she regretted how they saw each other off with distance and awkwardness. He never would have known just how sorry she was for everything she’d done to add stress onto his shoulders.
He never would have known that she loved him.
Those were words she’d wanted to tell him for a while. Not in passing or for show or in jest, but earnestly. She had loved him long before they’d started dating, but she’d hidden that fact until now. At first, it was because she hadn’t known whether he felt the same way about her and didn’t want to make things awkward between them. But then, after they’d became official, she’d withheld that information because she’d worried it was too soon. That she’d scare him off, or worse yet, that he’d brush those words off as insincere.
But now, she felt strongly that those words were coming far too late.
Well, they wouldn’t wait much longer. Right or wrong, she had to tell him. She couldn’t risk him never knowing the truth. In this turbulent world, it had taken her too long to realize the importance of words unspoken.
She wasn’t going to let that lesson go to waste.
With Stelle gone, their parting having been on bad terms due to his bad attitude, Dan Heng’s beloved alone time was growing too lonely. However, due to unforeseen events, he was growing used to interruptions from two certain Chrysos Heirs. Mydei and Phainon had become a reprieve from the too-empty silence. Their banter reminded him of Stelle and March, which both filled the time and worsened his longing.
Today, it was just Phainon who knocked on his door, but what worried Dan Heng the most was the lack of his usual vapid grin.
“Did you hear?” Phainon asked.
Dan Heng’s stomach sank. “About what?” he asked, wordlessly inviting Phainon to enter with a wave of his hand.
The man did so. “About what happened at the grove.”
The door closed with a heavier thud than normal. “What happened?”
Before launching into an explanation, Phainon admitted he only knew what he’d learned from Tribbie and didn’t know everything first hand. Still, what he did know was enough to make Dan Heng sick. The black tide had hit the grove hard, and survivors were almost none.
“Where are the girls now?” Dan Heng asked, a storm of worry brewing inside him, sending his nerves rolling like tidal waves.
“They were taking Professor Anaxa to see Lady Aglaea. I don’t know when they’ll—”
At that moment, the door burst open, revealing a frantic Stelle. “Dan Heng?!”
Her voice was a most welcome sound to his ears, instantly calming the brewing storm within him. His feet were moving before he could think. In the next second, Stelle lunged forward, leaping into his arms. He swooped her up, clinging to her like a lifeline.
Thank aeons. She was alive and well.
“I’ll… take my leave,” Phainon said, already heading to the door. “I’m glad to see you’re back in one piece, Stelle.”
Not pulling away from Dan Heng, Stelle gave him a grunt of acknowledgement that sounded vaguely like a thanks.
“Thank you, Phainon,” Dan Heng said in her place.
Shooting the couple a parting wave, Phainon shut the door behind him, Stelle having not bothered with the act.
Turning his focus back on the woman in his arms, Dan Heng stroked his hand over her head, smoothing down her chronically untamed hair. “Stelle—"
“I’m sorry,” she interrupted, the words tumbling from her mouth and not stopping. “I’m sorry for being annoying. I’m sorry for interrupting your quiet time; it probably stressed you out more. It wasn’t intentional—”
“Stelle.”
“—I really was trying to behave. And I just wanted to spend time with you because I was so excited we were a couple and I wanted to enjoy it, but I wasn’t thinking you wouldn’t like what I was doing. But I’m sorry I left without clearing the air because the grove was a mess—”
Dan Heng had given up trying to interrupt her at this point. She was positively frantic. The only thing he could do was hold her tight.
“—And it scared me because there was death everywhere. And then we faced this really tough boss that probably was the thing that killed everyone, and while we got home in one piece, Professor Anaxa had to tell all families that someone they loved died, and I panicked because what if they had to tell you.”
Her rambling was cut off by the onset of tears. She sniffed, clinging tighter to his clothes. “And I was thinking about all the things I didn’t say or how we left, and I didn’t want that to be how we parted ways. So I’m sorry. It was my fault. Thank you for being my boyfriend. Please don’t break up with me. I love you.” She hiccupped, the tears rolling down her cheeks and onto his jacket as she nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck. “I love you.”
Finally, her rambling ceased, the weighty silence tainted by her choked whines and sniffles. Dan Heng continued to hold her, letting her cry as he took the time to process her words and formulate some of his own. But that was harder than he expected with her confession hanging in the air.
I love you.
There might be plenty of situations where Stelle would throw those words out only for him to easily dismiss them. On the contrary, every word she’d frantically spoken poured from her panicked heart.
I love you.
His mind was racing, his heart keeping pace. His blood rushed through him even faster, making him light headed and woozy. Aeons, this girl knew how to drop a confession. Yet, the more he thought of it, the more he wondered why he was surprised. That was very Stelle of her. She always shone so brightly, whereas he’d always had to be tempered. The ability to sit and bask in her unfiltered emotions was one of the things he admired about this woman. It was that very quality that encouraged him to be honest with his inner thoughts and feelings regarding her. She always made it look so easy.
Meaning this time should be no different. She’d already done the hard work. He could trail on her accomplishments.
He wriggled his way out of her death grip so he could cradle her cheeks in his hands, using his thumbs to brush away the glimmering tear trails. “Stelle,” he spoke, looking into her eyes. “I love you, too.”
Her golden irises glowed like two suns at his words, the haze over her eyes lifting.
“And I’m not breaking up with you,” he said, the words of her rambles running through his head. “Honestly, I don’t know where you even got that idea—oof.”
She knocked the rest of the words out of him as she practically tackled him in a hug again, burying her face back into his shoulder and clinging to his jacket as though he’d disappear any second.
It seemed now was not the time to talk quite yet. He’d just have to settle for holding her. And it was a good thing he did because soon enough, Stelle was shaking in his arms. Then she was sinking, her weight increasingly leaning against him.
He wouldn’t let her fall. He would always have her back when she needed him. Even more so now.
He swooped her up into his arms, intent on carrying her over to the bed to rest. Although she relaxed, he could feel her hands continue to shake as she clung to handfuls of his jacket. It was clear she was determined not to release her vice-grip on him.
With Stelle still in his arms, he sat on the edge of the bed. The movement placed her into his lap, meaning he could wrap his arms more fully around her. They stayed there engulfed in each other’s embrace for a while, Dan Heng debating how to break the silence. He was still processing her word salad from earlier.
“You didn’t need to apologize,” he finally said, hanging onto the first thing she’d said. “I’m the one who’s sorry. You didn’t deserve my anger. Looking back, there’s nothing you did that was out of the ordinary. Minus the bath salts; I was rightfully mad about those, but not at you.”
She huffed a weak laugh. Good. Even a moment of amusement was good. “I really didn’t know.”
“I figured as much. Especially when the lady at the front wasn’t exactly forthcoming with information about them.”
Her grip on his jacket relaxed a bit more.
“But I have to ask,” he continued. “What even made you think I was going to break up with you?”
She shifted in his embrace, curling tighter into a ball. “I thought you found me too annoying. That you’d realize you could do better than me or realize we’re really different, then I’d get some super logical explanation of why we would never work and that you were breaking up with me.”
He heaved a sigh. It was almost strange to hear such insecurities come from Stelle. She was always such a brazen rocket that in her vulnerable moments, he always felt disoriented. Not that she wouldn’t have such insecurities; everyone had them. But rather because he always didn’t know how to fix it or comfort her or save her in those moments. Worse, he didn’t know if any of those were even the right answer. He just wanted to make things all right for her so she could go back to being her brilliantly shining self. Never had he felt so protective over anyone before.
After running through the answers in his head, he settled on confessing the truth. “Stelle, I’ve had feelings for you long before now.”
She stiffened in his arms, clearly caught off guard by his words. “Yeah,” she muttered. “You mentioned that.”
“And, they were probably there longer than I realized. But I finally figured it out on the Luofu, when we were there for the Wardance Festival. It was after the incident in the Shackling Prison that I realized how I felt about you, and it grew so much worse when you dragged me around, begging to be shown the real sights of the Luofu I mentioned in the prison. I tried to talk myself out of starting a relationship with you, but at some point, even I had to give up. You meant too much to me to just let go.”
By now, she’d pulled her head out of where she’d buried it against his neck, her expression soft as her gaze met his. “Dan Heng…”
“I should have asked you out before this,” he said. “Looking back, I realize that navigating this relationship would have been easier if we’d started when things weren’t so turbulent. I didn’t think my hesitation would lead to this. Part of me worries that I shouldn’t have kissed you when I did, when we first landed, but I don’t regret being in a relationship with you.”
“Even if I’m annoying?”
He tucked her hair behind her ear. “Even if I can’t comprehend the kind of chaos that follows you wherever you go. I wouldn’t exactly call all of it annoying. I’ve had plenty of time to accept what I would be getting into if I got into a relationship with you.”
A touch of pink dusted her cheeks.
“But, that doesn’t negate the fact that if I had to have anyone by my side down here, I’m so thankful it’s you.”
Finally, after far too long, he was rewarded with a smile. One unrestrained as it shone with joy.
His heart could finally be at peace at this proof that things could return to normal.
Then that smile was pressed firmly against his. Needy at first as though begging him to reciprocate, then demanding and unrelenting as she stole everything he could give in return. Her hands dragged over his jaw, raked through his hair, grabbed at his clothes.
And finally pushed him over and trapped him beneath her.
“For the record,” she said, between kisses, “because I know you like writing stuff down.” She was straddling him by now, her hands running over his jaw and neck. He had to grab her hips to balance her, yet he found his hands digging into her skirt as he clung to her. “I’m really glad it’s you I’m here with.” She kissed him again. “And who cares if it wasn’t the right time—” She kissed his other cheek. “—to start a relationship. I’d rather have it than not.” And then she kissed his nose. “Even if it’s not perfect. It’s good enough—”
He didn’t let her finish. He didn’t need her to. He grabbed the back of her head, holding her still so he could steal her lips again.
She smiled against his kiss. Then, only after meeting his needy desire for a kiss did she pull away to whisper, “I feel so lucky to be dating you.”
“I believe I am the fortunate one.”
Her smile widened.
Aeons, was he happy to see that smile again.
“Hey,” she continued, her eyes sparkling. “Out of curiosity, if by some off chance we’re stuck here—”
“I really hope not.”
“No, no, I agree. But, like, on the really off chance… would you be upset if we have to pretend to be married forever?”
He paused a moment, the question catching him off guard a bit. He didn’t want to be stuck here forever. He even hated thinking about it. But if he had to give Stelle an answer… “There would come a point where we’d just have to accept the fact we are married.”
“Would you be upset about that?”
He didn’t need to ponder the answer for long before shaking his head. “No. But there is one condition for that.”
“Which is?”
He stroked her hair, tucking it behind her ear before toying with the ends. “You need to come home to me in one piece.”
She lit up like a sunrise, one he was happy to bask in for as long as possible. “I’ll do my best if you promise to do yours.”
“You have my word.”
She leaned down and kissed him yet again. This time, it was long, slow, lingering. Like a binding seal being placed over a person’s heart.
“Sealed with a kiss,” she whispered against his lips. “You’re not allowed to go back on it now.”
“That goes both ways, Stelle.”
“You have my word.”
Stelle felt lighter than she had in days. Castorice and Tribbie had been right: with an apology and some discussion—and a healthy amount of handsy kissing—everything with Dan Heng was fixed. Their relationship felt more solid and real than ever. She couldn’t be happier.
Maybe that’s why she wasn’t so mad about being dragged into a work competition involving some chimeras some weeks back. She still hadn’t figured out how exactly she became their leader, but hey, she wasn’t complaining. She was making a little relevant currency while proving she really could do anything she set her mind to, sometimes even better than the pros.
And, you know, seeing Dan Heng all over town as she managed the little guys wasn’t exactly a bad deal, either.
“They seem to be listening well today,” Dan Heng commented.
“Yeah, but I just got backstabbed, so I’m about to take a chimera down.”
He chuckled. “Just don’t cause a scene.”
“I wouldn’t want to embarrass my poor, long-suffering husband, so I’ll refrain.”
With a smug grin that she found a little too sexy, he pat her hip encouragingly as he walked away.
And she maybe too proudly made googly-eyes over him as he left. She liked this new habit, his hands finding her waist and hips and small of her back in a touch that ranged from calming to playful to tender to possessive. That had quickly become Stelle’s “green light touch” zone. She didn’t know if that was a real thing or what exactly it meant, but as long as he continued showing affection that way, she’d be happy. If they hadn’t been in public, she would have grabbed him by the jacket collar and kissed that parting smirk right off him, all with the goal of turning that little pat into a full-on grab of her hip as he yanked her closer and—
“Hey!” one of the chimeras yelled, snapping Stelle out of her wild fantasies. “No slacking off on the job!”
Right. She couldn’t embarrass him by failing this task, either. Though he’d assured her he loved her, chaos and all, maybe it was time for the racoon to rein herself in a bit. Actions could speak loud as words, and it was best not to leave either unspoken.