Chapter Text
Kelly was running on fumes by the time he got home.
The conversation with Dr. Murphy echoed in his mind—the decision to pull Matt off his current medications had rattled him more than he wanted to admit. He knew enough to understand that stopping antipsychotics and benzos wasn’t something you did lightly. But Dr. Murphy had been firm, calm in that way only a seasoned doctor could be.
“They could be exacerbating his condition, Kelly. He hasn’t been on them long enough for withdrawal to be a major risk—but leaving him on them could make things worse.”
He’d left Matt in their care because, really, what choice did he have? But now, all he wanted was to collapse on the couch and shut his brain off for a few hours.
Instead, he noticed someone standing by his front door.
Kelly frowned, squinting in the fading light. The woman turned at the sound of his footsteps, and her face clicked into place—familiar, but distant.
“Hello, can I help you?” Kelly asked, his tone guarded but polite.
The woman gave a small, nervous smile. “Hi… it’s Kelly, right? I’m looking for Matt.”
Kelly’s heart sank a little. “Not tonight…”
He forced a neutral expression. “Oh… uh…”
“I work at the library,” she added quickly, sensing his hesitation. “I’m Doris.”
Recognition finally settled in. “Right—yeah, I remember you now.” He glanced around awkwardly before gesturing to the door. “Why don’t you come inside?”
Her shoulders relaxed slightly as he unlocked the door and stepped aside to let her in.
“Thank you… I was just—well, I was worried,” Doris admitted as she followed him into the lounge, her eyes scanning the cozy space. “He has such a dangerous job… I thought maybe…”
Kelly closed the door behind them, sighing softly. “If only it was the job,” he thought bitterly.
Doris’s gaze landed on the mantel, where photos of him and Matt were neatly arranged—snapshots of better days. She smiled gently. “You and Matt have a beautiful home.”
Kelly managed a tired smile. “Matt bought it as a fixer-upper. Place was falling apart when he got it… but yeah, he made it into something great.”
There was pride in his voice, but also a hollow ache. The house felt too quiet now.
Doris nodded, her fingers fidgeting with the strap of her bag. “I, uh… I tried to call him last week. He was late returning his books, which isn’t like him. I figured he’d just stop by like he always does, but… it’s been nearly two weeks.”
Kelly rubbed the back of his neck, guilt prickling under his skin. The library books—God, that felt like a lifetime ago. He wasn’t even sure Matt had touched them after everything started spiralling.
“He’s…,” Kelly began, then trailed off, unsure how to package the truth into something digestible.
Doris gave him a knowing look, her concern deepening. “Is he alright?”
Kelly let out a breath, sinking onto the edge of the couch. “It’s complicated.”
A soft chuckle escaped Doris, though it was tinged with worry. “Matt is complicated.”
“Yeah, he is…” Kelly said, a faint, tired smile tugging at his lips. But his curiosity lingered. “How do you know him? Through the library? Seems like there’s more to it.”
Doris hesitated, her expression softening with something between nostalgia and worry. “I’ve known him since he was a child.” Then, her voice sharpened with concern. “What’s happened?”
Kelly sighed, running a hand down his face. He was too drained to dance around it, but the thought of explaining everything felt like climbing a mountain. “He’s sick,” he admitted, voice low. “They should have some answers soon.”
“Soon?” Doris echoed, eyebrows knitting together. “How long has he been sick?”
Kelly’s gaze dropped to the floor, guilt settling like a weight on his chest. “I think… I think he was already sick when he saw you last time,” he confessed, the memory of Matt’s erratic behaviour—the risky suggestion, the distracted smiles—flashing through his mind.
Doris’s eyes widened. “It’s been two months since then… and you still don’t know what’s wrong?” There was an edge to her voice now—fear, frustration, maybe even blame.
Kelly’s head snapped up, defensiveness flaring. “Hey—he’s never even mentioned you before. Why would I—” He cut himself off, realising how harsh it sounded.
Doris raised her hands slightly in surrender, her face softening. “I’m sorry. I’m just… I’m worried about him.”
Kelly let out a long breath, the tension draining from his shoulders. “Yeah… me too. And I’m sorry—it’s been a long day.”
“With Matt?” she asked gently.
He nodded, gesturing to the couch. “Take a seat… it’s a long story.”
They both sat—Kelly sinking into the smaller couch, elbows on his knees, while Doris perched across from him, her hands clasped tightly in her lap.
“This morning,” Kelly began, “he was transferred from a psychiatric facility to a neurology ward. He had a seizure weeks ago, but they said it was psychosis… and maybe it was, but things kept getting worse. More seizures. More confusion. Now they’re running tests—trying to figure out what’s really going on.”
Doris absorbed his words in silence, her eyes glistening. “His mom is schizophrenic,” she said quietly, as if that explained everything.
“Yeah,” Kelly nodded bitterly. “And when they dug into his past—all the shit he went through—it made sense to them. Trauma. Genetics. They thought it wasn’t physical.” His voice cracked, tears welling despite himself. “I fought them for weeks… and then I started believing it too. I thought it was all in his head. And now… now he’s really sick, Doris.”
The tears slipped free before he could stop them. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry you had to find out like this…”
Doris blinked rapidly, her own emotions threatening to surface. “He was sick when he saw me last time,” she murmured, almost to herself.
Kelly nodded. “Yeah. I’m certain of it. He wasn’t himself—not really.”
A sad smile tugged at her lips. “Explains why he dragged you along and introduced us. I didn’t even know he was gay.”
Kelly gave a weak chuckle. “Yeah, well… he doesn’t exactly announce it.”
“He doesn’t tell anyone anything,” Doris replied knowingly.
“True,” Kelly agreed, wiping at his face. “I’ve never met anyone from his childhood before.”
“You probably won’t meet anyone else,” she said softly, her smile tinged with sorrow. “Matt didn’t keep many people close.”
Kelly’s chest tightened at that—realising just how rare this connection was.
“When did you meet him?” he asked, genuinely curious now.
Doris’s face brightened a little as she leaned back, lost in the memory. “He was thirteen. This small, skinny kid walked into the library—wide blue eyes, looking like he didn’t belong. Said he needed a book for a school project. I don’t think he’d ever been in a public library before.”
Kelly smiled faintly, picturing a younger version of Matt.
“The project was on South America,” Doris continued. “He had no idea what to choose, so I asked if he knew anything about alpacas.” She laughed softly. “He looked at me like I was speaking another language. But after that… he came back. Every week.”
Kelly shook his head, both amused and saddened. “I never knew.”
“We both know he doesn’t share easily,” Doris replied with a knowing glance.
There was a quiet moment before Kelly spoke again. “Look… why don’t I give you my number? I’ll keep you updated.”
Doris hesitated. “Would I… would I be able to see him?”
Kelly’s throat tightened. “I don’t know… He’s really not himself right now. It’s hard seeing him like this. Maybe I’m just a shit boyfriend.”
Doris leaned forward, her voice gentle but firm. “Kelly… I don’t think Matt would’ve introduced us if he didn’t really love you.”
That hit him harder than he expected.
“How long have you two known each other?” she asked, giving him space to collect himself.
Kelly smiled despite everything. “We worked together for a while before he… well, before he kinda stumbled through asking me out. Matt doesn’t do casual, so he blurted it out, asked if we were official. Barely understood a word he said, but… it’s been almost two years now.”
“That’s sweet,” Doris said, her smile genuine now.
“He’s the sweetest,” Kelly said, his voice thick with emotion. “Kind, generous… always putting everyone else first.”
“That’s Matt,” she agreed softly.
Kelly nodded, his gaze distant but determined. “He’ll be okay. I’ll make sure he is.”