Chapter Text
Scene: Kusuo Saiki finally returns home after his encounter with Hoopa in its Unbound form. He’s looking forward to some well-earned peace and quiet… but as he slides the door open, he freezes at the sight before him.
Saiki: (pausing at the doorway, staring at the scene in disbelief) "…You’ve got to be kidding me."
Hoopa (Confined): (sitting at the dining table, happily munching on snacks) "Hoopa loves snacks! Hahaha! Saiki’s home is so fun!"
Kurumi Saiki (Saiki’s mom): (clapping her hands in delight) "Oh my, isn’t Hoopa just the cutest thing, Kusuo? It says it’s a legendary Pokémon!"
Kuniharu Saiki (Saiki’s dad): (leaning back in his chair, laughing) "Haha, Kusuo, you didn’t tell us you had such a cool little friend! Look at it! It can do magic tricks with those rings!"
Saiki: (still standing in the doorway, emotionless) "First of all, it’s not my friend. Second, why is it in our house?"
Hoopa (Confined): (spinning one of its rings with a mischievous smile) "Hoopa wanted to visit Saiki! Hoopa thought, ‘Where does Saiki live?’ and poof! Hoopa found this place!"
(It tosses a ring into the air, and a random bouquet of flowers falls out of it, landing on the table.)
"See? Hoopa brings gifts!"
Saiki: (thinking to himself) "It teleported to my house. Of course it did. Why wouldn’t it? My entire life is just one long cosmic prank."
Kurumi Saiki: (picking up the flowers, beaming) "Oh my, Kusuo, your friend is so thoughtful! It even brought flowers!"
Kuniharu Saiki: (grinning) "Not just flowers! Look at this!"
(He points to a pile of random objects on the floor—an umbrella, a soccer ball, a frying pan, and even a gold coin.)
"Hoopa’s been pulling things out of its rings all afternoon! It’s amazing!"
Saiki: (thinking sarcastically) "That’s one word for it. Another word would be ‘annoying.’"
(Out loud) "You do realize it’s not supposed to be here, right? It’s not even from this world."
Hoopa (Confined): (floating over to Saiki and poking his shoulder with its ring) "Saiki’s being boring again! Hoopa thought Saiki would be happy to see Hoopa! Hahaha!"
Saiki: (deadpan) "I just saw you five minutes ago. You were twice that size and yelling about how powerful you are."
Kurumi Saiki: (tilting her head, confused) "Twice the size? Kusuo, what are you talking about? Hoopa’s adorable, not scary!"
Hoopa (Confined): (laughing gleefully) "Hoopa can do that too! Big Hoopa, small Hoopa—Hoopa can do anything!"
(It spins its rings dramatically and does a little flip in the air.)
Kuniharu Saiki: (clapping enthusiastically) "Wow! It’s like a circus act! Kusuo, you’ve got the coolest friend ever!"
Saiki: (thinking to himself, ignoring his dad) "I could get rid of it right now. One quick psychic push, and it’s out the door. But if I do that, Mom and Dad will cry about me being rude to my ‘friend.’"
(He sighs deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose.) "Fine. Do whatever you want. Just don’t break anything."
Hoopa (Confined): (cheering) "Yay! Saiki said Hoopa can stay!"
(It zooms around the room, tossing its rings onto random objects and making them disappear into portals.)
Saiki (thinking): "It’s not going to listen to me, is it?"
Kurumi Saiki: (smiling as Hoopa zips around) "Kusuo, you should introduce more of your friends to us! If they’re all as fun as Hoopa, our house will be so lively!"
Saiki: (pausing, his expression blank) "…No."
Kuniharu Saiki: (laughing loudly) "Come on, Kusuo! You’re always so mysterious about your life. If you’ve got friends like Hoopa, I bet they’re all amazing!"
Saiki: (thinking to himself) "If I introduce Nendou to them, they’ll regret this idea for the rest of their lives."
Hoopa (Confined): (suddenly flying up to Saiki’s face, grinning mischievously) "Hoopa has an idea! Hoopa will make Saiki’s house even better!"
Saiki: (raising an eyebrow) "What are you talking about?"
Hoopa (Confined): (giggling) "Hoopa will make it bigger! Bigger house for Saiki!"
(It starts spinning its rings wildly, opening multiple portals around the house.)
Saiki: (sighing, immediately sensing the chaos that’s about to unfold) "Don’t—"
Hoopa (Confined): (ignoring him, shouting gleefully) "Ta-da! Hoopa magic!"
(The portals suddenly start sucking in furniture, walls, and even some of Kuniharu’s beloved manga collection. In their place, random objects—like a giant sandcastle, a Ferris wheel cart, and a miniature fountain—begin appearing in the living room.)
Kurumi Saiki: (panicking) "Oh dear! Where’s the couch going?!"
Kuniharu Saiki: (running to catch his manga before it disappears) "Wait! That’s my Shonen Jump collection! Hoopa, stop!"
Saiki: (gritting his teeth, finally stepping in) "Enough."
(With a flick of his hand, Saiki uses his psychic powers to freeze all the portals midair, stopping the chaos instantly.)
Hoopa (Confined): (blinking in surprise) "Huh? What happened? Hoopa was just helping!"
Saiki: (deadpan, staring at Hoopa) "You’re not helping. You’re making things worse."
(He waves his hand again, reversing all the portals and returning everything back to normal.)
Kurumi Saiki: (sighing in relief) "Oh, thank goodness! Kusuo, you’re so responsible! You’re always cleaning up after your friends. You’re such a good boy!"
Kuniharu Saiki: (holding his manga protectively) "Yeah, Kusuo, you’re a hero! But, uh, maybe tell Hoopa to tone it down next time, okay?"
Saiki: (thinking to himself) "Next time? No. There’s not going to be a next time."
(He looks at Hoopa, his psychic aura subtly flaring.) "Go home. Now."
Hoopa (Confined): (pouting but sensing Saiki’s seriousness) "Aw, fine! Hoopa will go… but Hoopa will come back someday! Hahaha!"
(It spins its rings, opening a portal, and vanishes with a final laugh.)
Kurumi Saiki: (smiling wistfully) "What a sweet little thing. Don’t you think so, Kusuo?"
Saiki: (walking silently to his room, exhausted) "I need coffee jelly. Lots of it."
End Scene.