Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I Want to Understand You

Chapter 1 - Promise

The hulking golems animated by Undying Flames dwarfed even the cavernous Defense Room—their presence made the air swelter, I could feel an unpleasant sweat breaking out on my face, dripping down my spine. The golems hovered regally, their palms open like cruel angels welcoming us to our death.

I gripped my sword, steeling my resolve alongside all the others. “That isn’t Shion. He wouldn’t want his power to be used to pointlessly slaughter the Futurans, either—we just have to press through and defeat them!” I grit my teeth. “I’m tired of all this senseless killing—even if it costs me my life, I’ll fix humanity’s mistakes and end this war!”

“You’re right... we have to free Shion!” Tsubasa’s eyes were full of tears, but she still didn’t look away. “It’s too cruel... He wouldn’t want this, either—he’s one of us, too!”

Shion’s still, emotionless face hung in the open chest cavity of the golems conjured by the “intercept system”. He was surrounded by flames, his eyes closed and seeing nothing. So... Would he really look something like that, if he was able to grow up and live a normal life?

“Hehe—so that’s what Shion really looks like?” Yugamu licked one of his blades. “My instinct was right on the money—he really is a cutie!”

“Ha...” It so wasn’t the time, but... oddly enough, Yugamu’s quip helped ease my nerves. This would be our final stand—our DNA records had been wiped from the Revive-O-Matic, so if we fell here... that’d be it. Now I truly understand how brave it was for Nozomi to be out fighting on the front lines with the rest of us all this time...

“Man—you really are a weirdo right to the end, Pretty Boy!” Takemaru swung his bat over his shoulder. “But ya know—it’s kinda comforting, in a way!”

“I feel the same.” I kept up my stance, watching the golems carefully... The flames licked wildly around them, but so far they hadn’t made a move. “Even if those memories weren’t based on real experiences—they still shaped us into who we are.” It’s literally all we have, in the end...

“Aha...” I heard a light laugh. “I wonder what kind of person I would’ve been if it wasn’t for that ‘defect’? Although, I suppose it’s useless to dwell on such things.” Eito brandished his scythe. I could just barely make out the silhouette of his long eyelashes under his dark glasses... “I promised all of my hideously repulsive friends that I’d fight with you until the end, so I might as well do just that!”

“What does that mean?!” Gaku was quickly losing his composure. “H-hey—you’re not planning on stabbing us in the back once this is all over, are ya?!”

“Hahaha... Well, that would be a rather large waste, don’t you think? You’ve all finally shown me something truly beautiful!” He turned to face me, of all people. “You probably can’t see it, Takumi, but I’m winking under my glasses!”

“Oh, brother...” Kako was staring down the sights of her gun, one of the golems right in her line of fire.

“Yes, Sister Dearest?”

“Not you!” She huffed, puffing out her cheeks a little. “I just mean—‘good grief!’”

“Ohh, I see!” Ima’s lofty tone sounded disingenuous as always... “I understand what you mean, Kako—Mr. Aotsuki is probably only playing nice with us because Mr. Sumino’s on our side!” He gave a thumbs-up, hovering in the air on his black gargoyle wings. Well, he insisted the wings were similar to a certain sexy video game character, but who knows if that was even a real memory—not that it mattered anyway, with the Residential Complex and any games that might’ve existed completely destroyed...

“Oh, dear—well, I suppose there’s no point denying that this late in the game!” Eito’s obnoxiously cheery voice clashed horribly with the situation we found ourselves in... “Haha—you’ve read me dead to rights! But even that’s better than me being a cold-hearted traitor like in your original timeline, isn’t it, Takumi?”

Did they really need to talk about this right now... “Let’s just focus on getting rid of these things.” The golems still weren’t moving—perhaps they had a sensor and we hadn’t crossed the threshold to be treated as a “true threat” yet. “Shion’s counting on us.”

“I’m focused as I’ll ever be—and hey, I heard that, Ima! I thought I told you not to call me ‘Sister Dearest’ anymore!”

“Aww... But it’s our last battle, isn’t it?” Ima hovered closer to her. “Shouldn’t we just be honest, like Mr. Aotsuki? We might all just end up dying here, you know!”

I swallowed a lump in my throat, feeling the sweat from the overwhelming heat go cold and clammy on my skin. I can’t think that way—we absolutely must survive. We have nothing left but each other, and all the innocent Futurans on this planet—they’re all free now that V’ehxness is gone, we have to stop the launch...!

“Ha—well, can’t let you have all the cheesy monologues to yourself!” Takemaru grinned at me sideways from atop his bike. “Takumi—you’ve always been a real one. Sometimes I doubted your decisions, but you turned out to have your heart in the right place in the end. And...” His eyes started welling up... “—I’m proud to call you my best pal! Damnit—who’s grilling barbecue in here?!”

“You big lug...” Hiruko pushed up her glasses. “Since we’re all being honest, isn’t it about time you stop pretending you’re always getting ‘smoke in your eyes’?”

“Tch—and what about you?! Always acting so cold and distant—the fact that you’re here too means you do care about us after all!!”

“...” Hiruko merely stood calmly, her huge axe over her shoulder. “Well—that much is obvious, isn’t it? Even to a caveman like you...”

“Hah! I knew it!” Even in the end, Takemaru probably found her ribbing to be a comfort, too.

“Aw, man—I can’t believe you guys are getting all cheesy on me now!” Gaku held his gatling gun out in front of him. “Shit—I can’t die here, there’s so many things I have to experience in life!! Even my fake memories were crappy—so you guys can’t die on me either, okay?!” He said that, but he was practically in tears himself...

“Hehe—since I have this amazin’ bod and all, it’ll be a waste if I don’t make a pro wrestling career for real!” Moko posed confidently. “Even if the Futurans don’t have a federation here, you can bet I’ll be the one to start it up, brother!”

“That’s a really good dream, Moko...” Tsubasa sounded a little more composed now, thankfully. “Me, too—I want to start up a garage, and help rebuild the planet for the Furutans. It’s the least I can do...” She revved her engine. “Even if those memories of my Grandpa aren’t real, I have to keep them alive in my heart!”

“Shit...” Takemaru was just barely managing to talk through clenched teeth, tears pouring openly down his face now... “We gotta make the most with our lives for Darumi, and Kyoshika, and that annoying Kurara—hell, even for Eva, too...”

It almost looked like Shouma’s robotic armor flinched. “... Pathetic scum like me took Eva’s life to learn this horrible truth, so... the least a dirty sweat stain like me can do is try to make peace with the people of her planet... I’ll do my best for you, Eva!”

“Ehehe—after this is all over, I’d like it if you gained a little more confidence in yourself, Shouma.” Yugamu smiled sideways at me, with his good eye. “Even a ‘dirty sweat stain’ like you is cute in my eyes—you’re all my little cuties, so I won’t let anyone kill you before I do!”

“Geez...”

“Ugh, this guy...!”

“Well, I suppose that is very much like you...”

Even I found myself with an odd smile. “That is just like you... Although, when we make it out of this alive, I’d like to see you become a physician instead, with your skills...”

“My skills?” Even he seemed taken aback. “Hmm... Well, post-war reformation can be messy work, I wouldn’t be surprised if we had to assassinate a dissenter or a V’ehxness sympathizer or two, but...” He seemed to catch my expression, and his surprisingly mellow smile returned. “Well—if it’s a request from my number one cutie, who am I to turn you down?” Ugh... He didn’t need to say it like that...

I could feel Eito’s weird competitiveness radiating off of him—this guy, he was even jealous of Shion being able to sense my presence—he went all, “I see, so you guys are like that...!” Geez—I should’ve just paid closer attention our first time around, Yugamu clocked this guy pretty early on when we were trapped in that weird dating sim hallucination... He said something like, “Eito, you really do like Takumi, don’t you?” It just seemed like another genre trope for Eito to get all flustered and practically say, “B-baka! It’s not like that!” But, well... Looking back, it was painfully obvious. Even when I overheard him talking to Sirei after we threw him in the cage the second time around, he said something like, “I’ve never been so fascinated by a loathsome human! I want to understand him better, he’s different...” Or, something to that effect...

“Hm...” Eito pushed up his dark glasses, trying to look nonchalant, despite the way he was white-knuckling his scythe... “Well, I’ll refrain from indulging in another lengthy monologue that you all seem to despise so much, so I’ll just merely say—when I come out of this on the other side with all of you loathsome, hideous creatures... I promise I’ll try my best to understand you.”

That actually caught me off-guard—I couldn’t help but openly stare at Eito, practically slack-jawed.

“Haha... Even though I can’t see you, Takumi, I can tell that shocked you quite a bit. Are you really that surprised?” He got into his battle stance, his long cape brushing the ground. “It sounds like my destiny diverted quite spectacularly from the Eito you knew—so you might as well strike that from your mind.” He even had a small smile. “I’m here beside you, aren’t I?”

“I guess... that’s true...” I didn’t even realize I said that out loud. That was true—the Eito with us now was trying hard to change, even going through such extremes as gouging his own eyes out—permanently—and burning off the mucous membranes in his nose so he could stand to be around us... I’ll admit that at first, knowing Eito and the lengths he was willing to go through to “punish” mankind—I thought he was purposefully doing something so extreme to lull us into a false sense of security so he could stab us in the back even more dramatically... but he hadn’t. The fact that he was here with us now, when none of us would be able to miraculously come back to life—he was really serious. He was a different Eito.

He said himself that it was useless to dwell on such things, but... I couldn’t help but wonder if this is what he would’ve been like if he hadn’t been born with that cognitive disorder that ruined his perception of the world—if he would’ve been a steadfast ally and friend, like I thought he was the first time around...

“Uh, earth to Takumi?”

“Mr. Sumino! Were you stunned to silence by such a heartfelt confession?” Gah—even now, they were all teasing me...

I gripped my sword firmly, assuredly. “I’m ready.” Then, I lowered my voice. “Well... if that’s how you really feel, then I’ll make an honest effort to understand you, too. I promise.”

I was sure that Takemaru and Yugamu overheard that, but they both had the good graces to not say anything. Takemaru might not understand it, as one of the few holdouts against trusting Eito again, but—for all I know, Yugamu was cheering me on in his own way... He just seemed like that kind of guy.

“Haha... Wow, I’m so touched.” Eito’s overly-cheery voice made it hard to parse whether he was being sarcastic or genuine... “I guess I really can’t die here—and here I was planning on going out in a blaze of glory...”

“You better not, asshole—not after all that effort Takumi went through to spare your stupid life!” Takemaru brandished his fist.

“Geez, you boys—you can argue and fight it out as much as you want when this is all over!” Tsubasa finally rolled up her window. “Now let’s go—Shion doesn’t have much time!”

“An omni-directional attack will launch in three hundred seconds...” That cold voice echoed over the PA.

“She’s right.” I steadied myself, taking a centering breath. “Aim for the missile silos first—that should at least render the launch impossible! We can keep those golems on their toes as we go, until we get to Shion! They’re big, but that means their attacks are probably slow!”

“Roger!”

“Yeah, let’s do it!”

“Aw, man—this better work!!”

“Stand behind me, everyone—I’ll defend all of you!” Shouma got out in front, raising a shield and firing off his aggression signal.

I gripped the handle of my blade. “This is the first decision we’ve made for ourselves! We decided to protect something instead of destroying it! No matter what happens—I’m proud of us!” Shit—even I felt tears welling up. I couldn’t let anything shake me now—not when there was so much on the line. I had to let that feeling push me through to the very end—“Let’s go!”

Everything in the Defense Room blurred—my sight was marred by Undying Flames, the blare of the siren dulling the sound of the glass shattering in my ears—I could still hear the metallic sound of Shouma’s shield bouncing back some nasty-looking swipes from the golems—even he couldn’t hold out for long.

“Tsubasa—cover him!”

“Roger!” She flashed her deadlights at them, taking some shots from a distance while one of the golems chased her around. Damn—those things move fast!

“Hey, don’t forget about me!” Moko whipped out her “Mokomania” move, drawing the other one’s attention.

“Right here—put ‘em up!” Takemaru provoked the third one, taking the heat off Shouma while the golem flew after him on his bike.

“Haah... Thanks, guys... sorry a worthless worm like me is so worthless at defense, too...”

“Don’t even start, Shouma!! Just recover and keep at it!”

I was hacking away at the tube—this glass was no joke, it would probably nick any blade to hell that wasn’t made of hemoanima—

Eito was working on the other two, he was really going to town with his scythe and that lightning attack, hitting them both at once with boosted shots—Moko built up enough power from being hit by the golems to smash her flail right through the glass—the Undying Flames flared up and dissipated into nothing.

“Ohh yeahh! How do you like me now?!”

“Hrngh—I’ll keep you all safe!” Shouma mustered up his strength, putting up another shield—it all seemed to happen in slow motion.

The golem phased right through him, swiping with a flaming uppercut that completely undid his transformation... he lay face-down on the floor, bloody and broken.

“Shouma!!” I moved on instinct, running to his side, all the noise distorting around me. “Stay with me!”

“... ngrk...!” Tears were streaming down his bloodied face. “Eva... I... took her life, so this is what I get... it’s what... a pathetic waste like me deserves...”

“Shouma, don’t talk like that!” I tried to turn him over so I could lift him onto my shoulder... his stomach was completely slashed open. He was crying and hacking up blood uncontrollably—

“I-it’s just what I deserve... my whole life was a waste...” He sniffed loudly. “Eva... I’m so sorry... f-forgive me... I...” And he breathed his last.

I was stunned, in disbelief of what I just saw.

“—kumi! Takumi!”

I came to my senses, managing to roll out of the way while a golem swiped at me, flames flaring up around it.

“Shouma! Oh my God...” The others finally saw that he had stopped moving.

“Listen to me!” Hiruko was at my back, hacking one of the cylinders. “You can’t stop if one of us dies—you have to keep going!” She swung mightily, cracking the glass. “—if you really want to save him, absorb his hemoanima so he can live on through you!” She barely dodged backwards while a golem swiped at her, and Takemaru swung in to take the heat off her.

“Listen to ‘er, Takumi—don’t worry about us, just carry on all our hopes and dreams if we fall!!”

“Ugh—we need all the help we can get against these monstrosities! Absorb his hemoanima!”

I stared at Shouma’s broken body... absorb him? Could I even do that...

“Takumi! Don’t let Shouma’s death be in vain!!” Takemaru roared, leading the golem around on a wild chase. “You can’t let Shouma’s spirit die here—keep him with you!!”

“Keep him with me”... I stared down at my palm. No—they were right. I couldn’t hesitate now—I had to make sure Shouma lived on through me!

Holding back my tears with a tight grimace, I plunged my blade into his body, and absorbed everything... Shouma... You won’t die. You’ll live on through me, I promise...

Whoa—I felt a surge of power I never felt even after absorbing a Commander... It must be Shouma’s will. It’s... warm.

I gripped my blade, turning it on the next missile silo—my attacks felt stronger, swifter. We can do this... At the very least, if all the cylinders were destroyed, then even if these golems killed us all—no, I couldn’t think that way—we’d get through this! As long as we kept them on the move, we could handle this...

“—gyaahh!” No—that was Moko! “Ugh... looks like they got me... I ran wild as hard as I could...”

“Moko, no!!”

“Hehe... I gave it my all, so I have no regrets.” She was lying flat on her back, peering up with bloodied eyes... “I only wish I could’ve treated Nozomi and the girls to a real spa day... haha...” And... she was gone.

“Takumi!” Eito skillfully dodged the golems to surge to the other side of the cavernous room—he was so quick, even blind. “The missiles are all taken care of on this side—focus on the right and the rear!”

“Got it!” He said that, but—I couldn’t just leave Moko there all alone.

“Tsubasa—cover me!” I charged past her vehicle, making my way to where Moko fell...

“I’m on it!” She spun donuts around the golem, its attacks just barely missing her... Just hang on, Tsubasa, please—and Takemaru too, I couldn’t bear to lose either of them...

“Moko... I’ll carry your spirit with me.” I readied my blade. “You were always unstoppable, so—give me some of your courage.” I plunged the blade into her body, absorbing all of her life energy... It was warm.

I turned to face the sweltering room, assessing the chaotic scene—Kako was taking careful aim at a cylinder, and managed to pierce it in one blow. “Nice!”

“Kako!”

In a flash, Ima flew in front of her—the golem’s spiked arm pierced him completely, right through to Kako behind him... it felt like the scene played out at half-speed as it pulled its bloody arm from their bodies...

“Kako, noo!”

“Ima!”

“Haha...” Ima weakly stretched his hand out towards his sister. “Kako... I might as well die protecting you... don’t worry, you can live through this...”

“Ima...!” Her hand reached for his, their bodies both bloody and broken... “Hng—I finally found my place here, but I can’t do this without you...!”

“You can—you will.” Ima’s eyes closed, a contented smile on his face. “I believe in your strength... haha, maybe we’ll be reincarnated as twins in the next life, or parent and child... or even lovers... as long as we’re together, it... doesn’t matter...” He stopped moving...

“Ima...” Kako’s tears were smearing the blood on her face. “Oh, Ima... I want that, too...” Her breathing stopped, her chest rising and falling for the last time...

“Damnit...” I grit my teeth, shattering the cylinder in front of me. This couldn’t be happening...

“I’ll slow down these monstrosities—you go to them!” Yugamu threw one of his toxic vials, and the golems’ movements became noticeably more sluggish—but they were still fast as all hell.

I felt faster and more light on my feet than I ever have before—I reached Ima and Kako in an instant. “You two... I’m glad you opened up to us and started trusting people.” I didn’t know if they could hear me, but I at least wanted to say goodbye one last time... “Ima—I might not have always seen eye-to-eye with you, but I understand what it feels like to want to protect someone precious to you, no matter what. And Kako—you were stronger than you gave yourself credit for, and your visions helped me more than once. I thought of you two like my own little siblings...” I stabbed my sword into each of them, absorbing their life force through their hands, which were clasped in death... “Damnit...”

“Look alive! There’s still vials to smash!” Hiruko was going toe-to-toe with a golem—whoa, even someone of her strength couldn’t hold out for long—

“Hiruko!” I parried a heavy swipe, feeling like every bone in my arms turned to jelly—“Gah!”

“What are you doing?! Leave this to us—you focus on the cylinders, you’re faster than all of us now!” She readied a mighty overhead swing—she was pierced right through the stomach.

“Gh—!”

“Hiruko!!”

The golem lifted her body on its spiked arm, throwing her off. Urgh—it was just like Nozomi the last time, it made me sick...

“Over here!” Takemaru taunted the golem, hitting it with noxious exhaust, getting it to chase him away.

“Hiruko...” I knelt beside her torn body... she was already dead, her glasses smashed and her eyes closed. I had to get it together... “I’ll never forget your sacrifice—even though you were so frosty with us, I know that you cared about all of us, deep down.” This is what she would want me to do, to not dwell on it and keep moving... I absorbed her hemoanima, running towards the cylinders in the back of the room, my legs feeling stronger than ever.

I just had to have faith in the others—I had to focus on smashing up these cylinders, now that our heaviest hitters were gone...

The squealing screech of tires assaulted my ears—I couldn’t help but whip over my shoulder, and I saw... Tsubasa, lying on her back, blood flooding over her eyes...

“... I guess... I couldn’t outrun them, in the end...” Her eyes closed.

“Tsubasa!!” Takemaru let out a strangled cry...

“It’s okay... a-as long as you all can go on, and Shion doesn’t have to do this horrible thing... I-I’ll die... knowing I did the right thing... for the people of this planet...” Even like that, she still had a smile on her face... “M-maybe... in the next life... I can live free, too...” Her body lay completely still...

“Damnit... Damnit!” I swung madly at the cylinder, smashing it to pieces—there were only two left. Had we even managed to dent the golems at all? What if...

“Shit... Son of a bitch!” Gaku was crying out through gritted teeth. “This sucks, man—we’re all gonna die here, aren’t we?! Well—if my worthless life has to end here, at least I wanna go out in style!” He readied his gatling gun. “Take this!!” He sprayed bullets on the two remaining cylinders, riddling the glass full of holes, Undying Flames hissing out like steam—

I took that split-second to run over to Tsubasa. “Tsubasa—it’s okay. You’re free from pain now... I’ll carry on your will with me. You were always so kind, I knew I could count on you to have what was best for everyone in mind... Thank you, for being my ally, and my friend.” I absorbed her life, and she was gone...

I noticed Takemaru forlornly looking after us from the other side of the room—his trademark grin returned when our eyes met. “Yeah Gaku, you show ‘em who’s boss!” Takemaru managed to distract the other two golems, while Eito and Yugamu went up and smashed the cylinders Gaku had cracked...

“Aww yeah, how do you like me now?!” It looked like Moko rubbed off on him a little...

Almost like he was just an insect, Gaku was crushed under a golem’s fist.

“Gaku!!” I rushed over to him. Eito kept the golem busy, and Yugamu wailed on the cylinders with his long arms.

“Ugh... damnit...” He was somehow still alive, even though his lower half was practically paste... “What a crappy life... next time, I just want... an average life... where nothing happens... peaceful...”

“... It’ll be okay, Gaku. I’m sure you’ll get the peaceful life you always wanted—and you’ll never have to worry about money again. You deserve it.”

“Haah... that’d... be nice...” The light faded from his eyes.

I raised my blade. “I know the others ragged on you a lot, but you really were the mood-maker of our group—thank you for putting on the festival and the barbecue for us. It really lifted our spirits...” I plunged my blade in, absorbing his will. Oh... I guess those were two different Gakus—but in any timeline, I’m sure he’d still be the ultimate “mood-maker”.

“Shit...!” Takemaru’s breath was coming in ragged—he couldn’t keep kiting them for long. “Damnit—Takumi, I’m gonna leave it up to you, okay?!” He swung his bat over his shoulder, grinning confidently. “Takemaru Yakushiji’s not gonna go out like some chump—that just ain’t my way, man!”

“Takemaru—” I stopped my voice short—I knew I couldn’t talk him out of it, and it wouldn’t be right for me to try, anyway. This is just something he had to do—it was “a man’s pride”.

“You guys smash up that last cylinder—I’ll take care of these guys!!” He rounded on the two golems. “Just make sure to come pick up my spirit too, Takumi! Even if there’s just a scrap of me left—Takemaru Yakushiji’s goin’ down in a blaze of glory!!” He revved his engine, gunning it towards the golems—

“I won’t look away!!” It was like watching a car crash—but that’s what he wanted.

I thought I heard Takemaru laughing. “It wasn’t such bad life with all you guys!!” A fiery explosion bloomed around the golems, swirling upwards like a cataclysm...

I shielded my eyes from the intense heat, but refused to look away... What remained of Takemaru lay charred and burning, with bits of the golems’ chipped bodies all around him...

“Go to him—we’ve got this!” Yugamu kept the golems at bay with his impossibly long arms, piercing their fractured bodies with precision to make them fall apart. Eito was giving the other one a hard time with his spinning scythe—they managed to defeat one already, even just knowing that gives me courage...

It felt like I practically flew to Takemaru. He was burnt up beyond recognition—but he went out exactly the way he wanted. “Thank you, Takemaru—you were such a softie underneath, I’ll always remember how tough but sweet you were—thank you for being my true friend. I’ll never forget you.” I honored his last request, and picked up his spirit. It felt warm, like all the others... Knowing that you’re all with me gives me the strength to keep going.

I quickly surveyed the room—all the cylinders were smashed up, their flames completely died out. Good—now, no matter what, Shion wouldn’t be forced to launch the missiles. We’d done what we set out to do—I just had to set him free.

I readied my blade. “There’s only two left—let’s do this!” I felt stronger with all the others with me—we could do this! If at least these two could survive, then—

“Kh—” Blood flew out of Yugamu’s mouth—the golem had yanked him by the arm into its waiting spike. “Guh...” As if he was just trash, his body was thrown aside...

“Yugamu!” I couldn’t help but run to him—the golem moved so fast, I never even saw the attack until it was too late—“Yugamu... damnit...” I dropped to my knees.

“Hehe...” He was peering up at me, blood splattered all around his mouth, flowing down from the gash on his forehead... “Takumi... right now, you look like an angel of death...” He weakly reached up his hand, it felt warm where his blood smeared on my cheek... “Hey... do me a favor...?”

“I got it.” I raised my blade high above my head. “I’ll end your suffering...”

“Hehe... thanks. You understand me so well.” His eye closed, and he looked truly at peace.

Tears were streaming down my face, now... “You know, Yugamu—the others always thought you were so creepy, but I could always count on you to be the cooler head in the room—your impartial advice saved me more than once. Sometimes you said what the others were thinking, but were too afraid to say...”

“Eheh... I suppose I was... the ‘devil’s advocate’, wasn’t I? Eugh—” He coughed up more blood. “... ugh...”

“I’m sorry—I just wanted you to know that.” I steadied myself—my hands were shaking. Absorbing their hemoanima was one thing, but killing one of my comrades and friends myself...

His good eye cracked open again, just barely. “You know... I’m really tired of killing. So tired... I hope in my next life... I get a break... I just want to be a little shellfish floating through the ocean... just a peaceful existence, where I never have to kill anyone...”

“That sounds nice... I think the ocean would suit you.” A clash of steel made me jerk over my shoulder—Eito was managing to dodge and parry the golems, but even he was on the back foot... I couldn’t keep prolonging Yugamu’s suffering—I had to do it. “I’m sorry, Yugamu—this is goodbye. Thank you for being such a good friend to me...”

“Haha...” His hand finally slipped from my face, as the last of his energy drained out. “Maybe when I get bored of the ocean... in the next next life, we can reincarnate as twins, or parent and child, or lovers... ehehe...”

“Geez...” Well... it’s not like any of those options would be the worst thing in the world. Yugamu had a pure soul despite everything, I knew that... “We’ll see—you’ll have to live a good life as a shellfish so we can meet again as humans. Or... whatever we become next.”

He looked content, like a person who had finally found his answer in life. “I will... goodbye, Takumi.”

I stabbed my sword through his chest—he lurched up with a strangled cry, his flesh squelching sickeningly around the blade... then he relaxed, never moving again. He looked like a man who had truly found peace...

“I do hope we all meet in the next life.” I closed my eyes, centering myself for just a second. I rose to my feet. Knowing Yugamu, his spirit would probably say something suggestive like, “It’s getting awfully crowded here inside you, Takumi...”

I stopped the golem’s strike with my blade—I almost moved faster than I could perceive myself.

“—Takumi!” Eito leapt back, sending lightning shooting across the ground from a safe distance. “... I can’t sense the others’ presence anymore.”

“They’re dead—but they’re not gone!” I struck true, cutting the golem’s head clean off—the simulacrum of Shion’s face fell to the side, its expression never changing as it burned up in its own flame. “They’re all here with me... I’m carrying on their will!” Just one more...

“Haha... What a beautiful thing to say! You ugly creatures never cease to amaze me...”

“If we make it out of this, I hope you stop saying that!!” I swung upwards, slicing right through the golem’s torso—before I could make sense of what happened, Eito’s body was in front of me, surrounded by a cloud of blood—what?! “Eito?!” He slumped backwards into my arms.

“Ugh... Takumi...”

I saw what was coming—Eito fell from my arms while I parried the next attack—the golem wasn’t severed all the way, flailing its arms in its death throes—with one more decisive strike, it was sliced in two and burned up into nothing.

“Haah... haah...” I was breathing heavily, barely able to stay on my feet—the sudden surge of hemoanima inside me was difficult to contain, it felt like every nerve was on fire... “... Eito!” I knelt by where I had unceremoniously thrown him to defend myself—his sunglasses were thrown off somewhere, and lines of blood were pooling all down his face—an ugly gash exploded from the center of his chest. He took a direct hit to protect me... “You idiot—I said I’d try to understand you when this was all over!” I furiously wiped my stinging eyes with my sleeve, only grinding in more blood... “... damnit...!”

“Haha... You’re actually crying... for a traitor like me? Wow... hahaha...” The color was draining from his already-pale face. “Don’t you have something... more important to do...?”

“An omni-directional attack will launch in sixty seconds...”

My head whipped up to the reactor—Shion was still trapped in there somewhere, his Undying Flames being forcibly drained—even with the cylinders gone, I had to put an end to his suffering.

“You’re right. But I won’t just leave you here.” I clasped his hand. “Whether you like it or not, I’m taking you with me. Our appearances won’t bother you when it’s just our spirits all together.”

“Haha... Your ‘spirits’, huh...” His eyes were still closed, his head lolling limply to the side. “You know, for my entire life... I thought humans were soulless creatures... but I guess even that was... an implanted memory... right? Just... my defect...” His brows knit together just barely. “Takumi... let me see your face.” His hand weakly reached up, and I guided his palm to my cheek—even through the glove of his uniform, his hand was so cold... “Ah...” He brushed my cheek with his thumb. “So that’s what you look like... haha...” A countenance of peace washed over his mangled face. “Looks like... I won’t be able to keep my promise... sorry...”

“I’m not letting you off that easy—I’ll hunt you down even in the next life and make you keep your promise!” I squeezed his hand. “I’m going to keep mine too, so you better not welch on it!”

“Haha... ha...” His raspy voice was so weak. “You know, Takumi... From the bottom of my heart, I’ve always loathed, envied... despised...  and...” His hand went limp. “... deeply... loved you.”

... he was gone. The last remnant of life faded from his broken body.

The siren blared around the cavernous room.

“An omni-directional attack will launch in thirty seconds...”

“... damnit.” I wiped my eyes. “You asshole... why’d you wait to say that ‘til the very end?” That was so like Eito—he needed to have the last laugh. He really was a bastard... “Yeah, well—I wasn’t bluffing, you know—you’re really going to be stuck with us for all eternity!” I struck right in his heart, and felt his spirit flowing through me... now we were all together. Just like it should have been from the beginning.

I rose to my feet, making a running stab towards the core. Only one left...

“An omni-directional attack will launch in ten seconds...”

I rushed up the stairs, almost stumbling in my blinding speed. “Shion—I’m here! You’re free now—I’m taking you with me!!” I saw him through the glass, his real body—small and vulnerable, just wishing desperately to have a passing dream of a normal life.

As I swung my arms for the final blow, I felt everyone’s spirits behind me, one with me—even Darumi, and Kyoshika, Kurara and Eva—I knew they were all with me. Even Eito, as stubborn as he was—it’s not like I needed him to tell me that, I knew it all along. And now Shion, too—

“You’ll live on through me—I promise!!”

I was blinded by piercing light, thrown back by incredibly heat—

百

“... mi! Takumi!”

... who is that?

“Takumi!!” I thought I heard someone crying... “Please—open your eyes!” A tangled sob... who was...?

Somehow, I barely managed to open my eyes... my entire body was wracked with pain, it was so intense I almost felt numb... like when the bathwater is so scalding hot it almost feels cold...

“... Takumi! Oh...” She hugged me to her as I lay limp, unable to move at all... “Thank God you’re alive...” ... Karua?

I forced my eyes open... “Nozomi...”

“Yes!” Tears were welling in her eyes. “It’s me—I’m right here! You’ll be fine...” I felt something warm press on my stomach... it was her hand. Oh... there was so much blood... she was pressing her hand to my wound, trying in vain to stop the bleeding... Her tear-streaked smile didn’t falter...

“Nozomi...” I mustered what was left of my strength, clasping her hand. “At least... you’ll survive... and—we stopped the missiles and—freed Shion, so... the others didn’t die... in vain...”

Her smile broke. “The others...?”

I couldn’t get the metallic taste of blood out of my mouth... “They fought hard... until the very end, they gave everything...” It took everything I had to keep my eyes cracked open... her face was a blur of tears. “We finally made a decision for ourselves... we stopped the war...” I let my eyes close. “We finally protected something—ngh!... instead of destroying it...”

I heard her sobs, but oddly enough, just hearing her voice was comforting to me... “No... this can’t be how it ends...!”

I squeezed her hand with the last of my strength. “It’s okay... we finally followed our hearts... and not... our programming...” My face was so numb, but I felt myself smiling. “I’m... proud of us. We—won.”

“Takumi...” She sniffled loudly. “Ha... You’re right. I’m proud of you all, too... You did what you knew was right. You gave it your all...” Oh, she was stroking my hair... it felt pretty nice... “You can rest now... it’s all over. The future of this planet is bright now, thanks to you...”

“... good...” I opened my palm, letting her feel the warmth of all the others flowing through me. “... Do you feel it? The others are all with me... I—carried on their wills.” Our fingers clasped. “Now... I’m passing it all onto you... to create a future without war, on this planet... where everyone can live in peace.” I felt myself fading away... “I know you can do it...”

“But...”

“Ha... I know you. If it’s you, you can get through to them... nobody wants war, nobody wants to fight...” I couldn’t even feel her hand anymore... “I know they’ll listen... if you reach out... with this hand...”

“Takumi...!” She held me close to her. “... I will! I’ll carry on all your wishes—that’s all I want! The people on this planet deserve to live in peace...”

“Ha... I finally... kept my promise... to keep you safe...” I didn’t have much longer... “I can’t go with you... but I can’t just—die here. I have... another promise to keep.”

“Ah!” I heard her gasp. “... You’re going back again?”

“I have to... it’s the only way—” I grasped her hand with my last shred of strength. “You still have a future—I know you can do it... you saved everyone, too...”

“Takumi... I’ll never forget you, or the others—I’ll carry on your will. I’ll find a way... I promise.”

“Good...” The world was dark... “Goodbye, Nozomi... Let’s meet again, in the next life...”

“Okay—it’s a promise...”

The last thing I felt, was her clasping my pinky.

I quietly whispered in my heart... “All right, Shion—with your power, I’m going back to make things right again. I promise I won’t let anyone die this time...”

My consciousness was sucked back through a void, through nothingness...

I̶̢̛̝̻̱͕̻̮̙̺̒͂̈́̓͑̋̏̓͂͜ ̴̢͕͇̦̲̯̩̬̞̱̓̃̆̔͒͌̏͜͠ͅP̴̨͇̰͖̬͙̱̒̀̈̀͂̒͆̄̾̄̀̀̒̚ͅR̷̜̈͋͒Ơ̷̤̬͍̽̐̈́̍̈́̀̑̄́̓M̷̨̨̟͚͙̝̠͚̔̐̎̔̔̄̏̑̇͝Í̶̧̮͖̭̪̘̺͚̘̜̟̈́̃̄̈́͜S̷̠͖̬̦̬͑̃̎͆̃̌͘Ĕ̵̹͍́̈

百

Day 003

百

‘Ding dong, bing bong!’

“Up and at ‘em, troops! It’s time to rise and shine! Get ready for your third day of active service here at Last Defense Academy!”

My eyes shot open—where am I?!

I bolted upright in bed, looking down at my hands—I pulsed all my fingers. My body wasn’t broken, I wasn’t covered in blood—this was my room at Last Defense Academy—oh my God, I actually did it. I came back a second time.

My eyes shot up to that damn morning announcement, which I always did my best to tune out—did he say third day?! Shit—I have to go! I have to stop Eito—he didn’t already kill Sirei, did he?!

“Damnit...” I threw off my blankets, running out of the room.

“—whoa, Takumi—where’s the fire, man?”

“Takemaru!” I slammed into him, throwing my arms around him. “Oh, God—I’m so glad you’re alive!”

“Whoa there!” He went stone-stiff, his hands shooting up like he was surrendering. “Uh... should I not be? Shit—that freak Eito didn’t break out of his cage and kill me last time, right?”

“No...” I almost laughed. That didn’t even make any sense, from his perspective... Good. So I still stopped Eito on the second day, and he was sequestered away in the courtyard... thank God. I just had to try harder to get through to him this time—I made a promise to his own damn self, so he couldn’t complain. “Whew...” I felt the adrenaline running out of me, now that I knew I didn’t need to make a mad dash to the gym... “I’m so glad I made it back, you have no idea...”

“Aw...” Takemaru hesitated for a second, then gave me a warm pat on the back. “Well hell, man—I’m glad to see you, too. Heh...” He snickered. “Ya know, I haven’t known you that long—but somehow, it feels like I’ve known you a lifetime, Takumi.”

“I’m really glad to hear you say that.” I hugged him without any reservation. “I think that’s your own will reaching you from the future, through me...” For some reason, the blue sky I saw above me for 200 days now looked so beautiful and new...

“Whoa... Sounds like complicated stuff.” He finally hugged me back, although it was more like a “bro hug” with him clapping my back. Not that I was complaining—it was very Takemaru. “Well—good to have you back, Takumi.”

“Aww...” A squeaky voice caught my attention. Tsubasa was over in front of her door, with her hands clasped to her chest. “How sweet—it’s nice to see you boys getting along! Hehe.”

“Aw, man—this is a solemn bond between men!! You wouldn’t understand.” Takemaru sounded embarrassed...

“Oh, I wouldn’t?” She walked down the small steps, clutching her arm almost shyly. “Um... is it okay if we make this a group hug?” She scratched her cheek. “For some reason, Takumi... I’m really glad to see you, too. Even though we all just saw you yesterday... It just feels like—” A small tear welled in her eye, like a pearl. “Oh! Haha, how embarrassing...” She wiped her eye, laughing a bit. “I don’t know why—it feels like an emotional reunion for some reason!”

I opened my other arm. “Come here, Tsubasa. I’m glad to see you, too...”

She hesitated for a second, then practically threw herself into our embrace, like I had done when I saw Takemaru. “Aw—I don’t know why I’m crying!” She sniffled. I hugged her tight, and some kind of “man instinct” to comfort a girl when she’s crying must’ve kicked into Takemaru, too.

“It’s all right, Tsubasa...” His gruff voice was almost uncharacteristically gentle, and he pat the top of her cap. Heh—I always thought these two would be really cute together, if we were living in normal circumstances—maybe I can help make it happen this time around.

The three of us all embraced each other for a few quiet, precious moments... And then I knew I had an important decision to make. But if it was the two of them, then...

I pulled back a bit, so I could see their faces. “I have something important to tell you—but I want to keep it quiet for now. I don’t want to overwhelm the others, but I’ll tell them all when the time is right.” My eyes closed, and I felt myself smiling. “I know I can trust you two unconditionally, so... Here goes.” I looked between both of them, their eyes a little wider and softer. “I actually came back a second time—the Takumi you met yesterday was me just after my first hundred days.” I paused, letting that sink in for a bit. “I made it all the way to the end again... but I just had to come back. I had to make things right, for all of us. And...” I moved my arms, taking both their hands in mine. They didn’t resist, although they still looked surprised. “I carried all your wills back with me. Your hopes and dreams for a better future... I had to make sure I kept my promise to you all.”

Takemaru looked stunned, gazing down at our clasped hands. Tsubasa let her eyes close, her fingers softly folding over mine.

“... I can feel it. I can feel a warmth that I can’t explain...” Another tear welled up in her eye. “Haha... That must be why I’m crying. It’s almost a happy tear, now that you’ve explained it... I believe you, Takumi.”

“Yeah—me, too.” Takemaru tightly clasped my hand. “I believe you all the way, man—it’s like I can feel my future self cheering you on, like, ‘Yeah, Takumi! Don’t stop ridin’ ‘til you’re all out of gas!’”

Tsubasa giggled. “I like that idea... There’s enough room for all of us in my car!”

“Haha—‘preciate the offer, but I’ll be ridin’ alongside ya on my bike!” Takemaru flexed his other arm.

I felt a warmth flow over me that I couldn’t explain, either—I just knew I had to make things right this time. For these two, and the others who made it with me to the end, for everyone who died before learning the truth—and for Nozomi, who I had to leave behind in a war-torn world... I had to lead us all to a brighter future, no matter what.

I finally pulled back from them, our hands still clasped warmly. “I want to go around seeing everyone again. Even though to you guys, you just saw them yesterday...” Especially Darumi...

“Yeah—sounds good! Wonder if they’ll feel that same warm-fuzzy feeling we did?”

“Oh, I’m sure they will!”

“Haha... I hope so, too.” I finally let them go. “Takemaru—I have one other request for you.” I looked him in the eyes behind his purple shades. “I’m going to talk to Eito last—I just want you to stand by and watch. Just in case.”

“You wanna talk to that guy?” His brows furrowed deeply. “What the hell for?”

I put my hand over my heart, almost out of instinct—that’s something Eito did a lot, now that I thought about it. “I can’t ask you to understand—but I’d like you to trust me. In the future I came from—even that guy was trying desperately to change.”

Takemaru peered down at me with an unreadable expression. “You serious?”

“I am.” I almost reached into the inner lining of my jacket for my “proof”, but... I couldn’t show them that just yet. I couldn’t bear to have to explain why Darumi wasn’t in it...

“Pbbtt...” Takemaru blew a raspberry like a donkey, one of his tics when he was at a loss. “Well... okay, Takumi. If you’re sure—I’ll keep watch so that guy doesn’t try anything funny.” He flexed his impressive bicep.

“Thank you—I think I’ll just talk to him through the bars for now.”

“For now?!”

“Um... are you sure that’s a good idea, Takumi?” Even Tsubasa looked worried...

“Yeah—he might not be ready to talk to me seriously just yet. But I want to be able to talk to him one-on-one eventually.” Maybe I was just being reckless or over-confident, but—I felt like I could get through to him if I revealed everything—about Earth, about Futurum, about how we really came to be, about his cognitive disorder being just a “defect”—but there’s no way he would accept that all at face value right off the bat. And as he was now, someone who genuinely hated mankind and believed it was his divine duty to wipe them all out—it’d be dangerous to arm him with such information. He’d probably run away and side with V’ehxness to help her complete her missile faster...

Just like with the others, I had to be careful how I doled out my information. I could almost understand why Sirei kept us in the dark now—if I dropped such bombshells on everyone right at the beginning, they’d completely lose the will to fight, and V’ehxness and the other Commanders would just come to mop us all up eventually. There was no rewinding time centuries to before humanity destroyed their own planet, or stopping them from starting this war—even if I could go back and use my ability to communicate with the Futurans to help both sides come to a mutual understanding, and be able to cohabitate on the planet in peace... That was just wishful thinking to think it’d go that smoothly. In a way, Eito did have a point about the ugly side of human nature... I’m sure Futurans aren’t immune to that, either. V’ehxness was proof enough... Everything that lives needs to fight over resources to survive, that’s just the way it is.

“Uh... Takumi?”

“Oh—sorry.” I laughed a bit. “I think my head’s still swimming from coming back so suddenly...” I scratched the back of my hair sheepishly. “—let’s go find the others. I want to see them.”

百

I managed to keep my composure when reuniting with the others, for the most part—I didn’t cry, at least. The others all had a similar reaction to Tsubasa and Takemaru—their eyes held an almost soft recognition, like they were trying to tell if that was an old friend they saw across the street. And when I shook their hand or went in for a hug, it felt like they understood—they felt the warmth I was carrying with me, like they were feeling assured by their future selves. Even Shouma burst into happy tears, though he apologized profusely for a sewer rat like him daring to be so familiar with me, and getting his putrid snot all over me... I tried my best to assure him it was okay, and he at least stopped with the self-deprecating and just cried. Even I got misty-eyed when I saw Darumi again—she just tapped her finger to her lips, asking me if I came back again after getting the “Bad Ending”... if she only knew how right she was...

I gazed down at the courtyard from the connecting hallway windows. Sure enough, he was there in the cage on the left... He was sitting cross-legged with his back leaned against the bars, reading a book. I did give him one yesterday... Well, the second time around, anyway. This would technically be my third... What was I thinking when I gave him that book last time? Was I trying to butter him up, make a peace offering? I just felt... even though I knew how twisted Eito was inside, I thought that somewhere in there was a scared little boy, who didn’t understand why the world around him was so frightening—and that really messed him up badly. It wasn’t his fault that he had a cognitive disorder... especially now that I know those memories were just the result of a “defect” in the implanting process. All messed up adults were once innocent children... and I knew from the Eito in my future that he wasn’t just an unfeeling sociopath. He was trying to change... Even if it took such a heavy shock to the system as knowing his whole life had been a lie to do it—he still made the choice to stand with us, until the end. And... I couldn’t just turn my back on someone I made a promise to.

Tch—he made a promise to me, too—and I was going to hold that stubborn bastard to it. Whether he liked it or not.

百

Takemaru was standing off to the side by the fountain, his arms firmly crossed. He was watching the cage like a hawk. I wanted to be able to trust Eito enough to let him out of the cage eventually—but I at least wanted Yugamu here before I tried to talk to him privately. That was next on my agenda—I had to get back to Second-to-Last Defense Academy, and bring the others here as soon as possible. I had to make sure Nozomi and everyone else was okay... I could probably swing it with just Shouma for assurance—if I got there fast enough, they wouldn’t even encounter the mind-control Commander at all. I just had to make sure our academy would be safe once the first Commander made their appearance—it would most likely be Murvrum. We had to be sure not to reveal anything about my time travel—nothing that would give V’ehxness any ideas, if she was watching the battle, so we should even resist absorbing his hemoanima. No, wait... What am I thinking?!

The Commanders were just defending their home, from us—they weren’t our true enemy. I couldn’t just kill Murvrum, he was Dahl’xia’s son—and I knew for a fact that at least he and Eva disagreed with their “leader’s” methods—there might even be more. Even if they’d never back down from defending their home from the “enemy”—I had to at least try. I was stronger than I’d ever been thanks to the others who were with me—if I could get the jump on V’ehxness and get rid of their dictator, it would be possible to open a dialogue with the remaining Commanders and the people of Futurum at large—even if that failed, there had to be ordinary citizens out there who were desperate for the war to end, and who would listen... the ones Nozomi would find in her timeline. There had to be...

“Ugh...” My head was swimming with all the possibilities—I just had to stay focused. I wish I could keep a journal to sort everything out, but I couldn’t risk Sirei or one of the others finding it—I just had to keep it all safe in my head, for now.

I took a few steadying breaths, centering myself again. All of that would be dealt with later... I just had to focus on what was in front of me. There would be no guarantees anything would play out according to my second timeline, either—I just had to use my best judgment and deal with things as they came. I was armed with more knowledge than ever before, and the others’ wishes were all with me, we were all aligned in what we knew was right—I wouldn’t fail this time.

My shoes crunched over the gravel and soft spongy grass in the courtyard. It was calming out here, although I was rarely in the headspace to enjoy it before... Those cages kind of ruined the ambience. If I played my cards right, we’d never have to use them again.

Takemaru’s presence was more to calm my nerves, than anything—I knew there wasn’t really much Eito could do to me without his Infuser, even if I reached my arms through the bars. The worst he could do is bite me, he wasn’t really strong enough to snap my wrist with his bare hands or something like that. Not that he’d want to... I overheard his conversation with Sirei the second time around, how he was “Dying to know more about me” ... He wouldn’t just hurt me for no reason, before he got any of his precious answers. And there wasn’t any danger of a blackout unless Sirei was using his horrible machine... I should just go smash that up myself the next time Sirei was distracted, so no one could ever use it again. I still had to figure out what I wanted to do with him—it might be better to destroy him sooner rather than later. Although, if I wanted to reveal the truth to the others, having him echo everything would lend it more credence... I just had to weigh my options carefully, and cross that bridge when I got to it.

I approached the cage, suddenly feeling apprehensive. This wasn’t the same Eito—he had quite a “character arc” to go through before he was the person I made that promise to. Right now, he was still twisting inside with hatred, just biding his time waiting for his chance to escape and—no, I couldn’t think that way. I had faith in him the second time when I chose to spare his life, twice—I knew it was wrong to just kill him just because I couldn’t understand him. And I was right, in the end... Eito really did change. I just had to have faith in that Eito, so this Eito could feel it through me... I just had to be strong.

He looked up from his book. “Oh, Takumi!” He set his color-changing bookmark, which I also gave him... “Looking hideous today as always, I see!” His bright smile and cheery tone sounded as disingenuous as ever... “What brings you to...” His voice trailed off uncharacteristically, and I saw his eyes widen just a bit behind his glasses. I knew it—he felt it, too. After he was caught and his whole plan ruined, he became really bad at hiding his emotions...

I stepped up to the cage. “Good morning, Eito.” I made sure to speak softly, so my voice wouldn’t pierce his ears. I looked right into his eyes. “Is that true?”

His neck was hidden by his wide collar, but I was sure I saw him swallow. “Is what true? Ha...” I could practically see the gears spinning at lightning speed in his head, trying to figure out what I wanted, what I meant—why it felt different all of the sudden.

I stood right up at the bars, with a firm but gentle stance. “Do I look as hideous as always?”

“Aha...” For once, his unnerving laugh didn’t sound intimidating at all. He was clutching his book in front of his stomach, almost defensively. “You do... you really do. Just breathing the same air as you is making me sick.”

I glanced briefly at Takemaru, then gingerly squeezed my hand through the bars. I managed to get my wrist through, turning my hand palm-up. “Eito... Give me your hand. Please.” I spoke gently, like a patient mother...

Eito took a half-step back. He was staring openly at my hand, almost recoiling. His eyes flicked up to mine—I don’t even know what my eyes look like to him. Probably just more bulbous pustules filled with vile liquid...

I didn’t waver. “Please. It’s important.” My voice was just barely above a whisper. “I think you’ll understand.”

He was studying my face, trying to find something that wasn’t there... He set down his book without breaking eye contact, walking towards me. He looked down at my hand.

“Haha... What is this? Some kind of peace offering? How magnanimous of you—what a conscientious jailor you are!” Long-winded as always... but I could tell he was nervous, he was basically just rambling to stall for time while his brain caught up.

I didn’t know what I looked like to him—but I gazed up at him sincerely, hiding nothing. He was so much taller than me—I just tried to convey in my eyes everything that his future self told me, everything he felt.

“You’ve all finally shown me something truly beautiful!”

“I’m here beside you, aren’t I?”

“From the bottom of my heart, I’ve always loathed, envied, despised... and deeply loved you.”

Eito took my hand.

“Ah...” His hand was warm. “... You’re not the same Takumi from yesterday.”

“I’m not.” My arm was being constrained by the tight bars, but I did my best to close my fingers around his. “Well—I guess I’ve always been the same Takumi. But... I’ve come back a second time.” I had to remind myself to keep my voice soft. “—you promised me you’d try to understand me, and I made the same promise back. I told you I’d hunt you down until you made good on that promise—so you don’t get to weasel out of it now.”

“Hahaha...” His breathy laugh was... oddly lacking mockery. It seemed like he was genuinely laughing, albeit in shock. “I made a promise like that, you say... That doesn’t sound like me at all.”

“It was you.” I reached through the bars and closed my other hand over his. “It was a you who was trying desperately to change, and who wanted desperately to be understood.”

He just stared down blankly, as if something in his brain locked up. I gently pat his hand, but he still didn’t move. He was probably denying it with his whole being, running through all the ways that couldn’t possibly be true—but he couldn’t deny it. It wasn’t just my words—surely he felt the will of his own self I carried back with me. Something small inside him that was crying out, something he desperately smothered and forced back down...

“—I’m sure it’s hard for you to be this close to me, and I apologize for that. Just... close your eyes for a second. Plug your nose if you need to, it won’t hurt my feelings...” Against my better judgement, I closed my eyes, too. His wristbones couldn’t quite get past the bars, but it was enough for his hand to cup my cheek. “You never got the chance to really see me. And I never got that chance, either—so, here I am.”

The words hung in the air. The fountain gently trickled in the distance. I suddenly remembered that Takemaru was standing guard right over there, and he was probably quite confused at what the hell I was doing—but I couldn’t even muster up any feeling of embarrassment. It passed right through me like the Buddha meditating on his path to Enlightenment...

Even though the angle was awkward, Eito’s hand cupping my cheek was warm. And I could feel it—I got through to him, just a little. Eito was a prideful person—the only person he trusted was his own self, but his own self pulled a fast one on him...

“Aha... ‘Close my eyes and plug my nose’... Why should I go through all that effort just to be able to tolerate your loathsome presence?” With his harsh words, I expected him to yank his hand back as if it was on fire—but it just slunk away, not before his thumb brushed my jaw for a micro-second... “Humans are all the same—it’s always my fault, I should be expected to accommodate you—when you’re the ones who are all so disgusting...” He sounded like he didn’t even expect me to take his words at face value—it was like an animal sinking in quicksand still hissing and screaming for you to get away from it...

“I see... I guess I don’t have a good counter for that.” I slipped my hand back through the bars. “If I could change something on my end so my appearance wouldn’t frighten you so much, I would.” Ordinarily, I would’ve expected him to have a quick comeback like, “Really? Why don’t you just bury yourself alive, then?” in that obnoxiously cheery tone—but he just stood there staring wide-eyed, almost hunched to the side like he was about to run. He probably had no idea his body language was so defensive... “I’m sorry if I’ve upset you—” I turned to leave. “I’ll have someone else bring you your meal...”

“Ah—wait!” He practically pressed himself up against the bars. Even he seemed shocked by his impulsive action. “... I’m nearly finished with this book.” He calmly stepped back from the bars, pushing up his glasses. “I’d prefer it if you brought me another one before I’m done—I have nothing else to do all day locked up in this cage like a rat.” He tried to smirk, but...

I turned to face him. “I saw an e-reader in the Gift-O-Matic—I’ll bring you one so you can read any book from the library you want.” I already knew all the sensitive information on the War Room computers was kept on an entirely separate server, so there was no risk of him hacking into it...

He turned to the side haughtily, like Kurara or Ima might do... “I prefer the tactile feel of real books.” Wasn’t “tactile feel” redundant...

“All right... I’ll bring you another book tonight.”

It was like we were speaking in code—I knew he was just being stubborn and prideful at this point, trying to save face before reeling at the revelation I just dropped in his lap in private—and he knew that, too. But... that was all the confirmation I needed that I really got through to him.

“Very well—please try to pick out something I’ll like.” That disingenuous closed-eyes smile was back up like a mask. “I’ll be really upset if you understand me so little after all that!”

“I know... I’ll be back.”

I finally walked away from the cage, silently nodding to Takemaru and clapping his shoulder as I passed. He looked like he was dying to ask me what that was about, but also like he didn’t want to know... Well, that was fair enough. At least I knew Takemaru wasn’t closed-minded, and wouldn’t get all uppity about me trying to get close to another guy—just that he was a crazy premeditated murderer. He never even batted an eye when “Pretty Boy” went on about wanting to be inside me, he had a pretty “Eh, none of my business” attitude, in general—he only flipped out when he found out that literally meant “dissection”.

“Haha...” I couldn’t help but laugh to myself—he really was a big-hearted delinquent. Even if his “crew” and all the old folks he looked out for back home were just implanted memories—no one could take that away from him.

“Uh—Takumi?” Takemaru finally jogged to catch up with me. “You sure you know what you’re doin’?”

“I’m sure... I want all of us to make it through this, even Eito.” I smiled up at him. “But I’ll need your support.”

“Oh, uh—” He seemed taken aback by my sudden sincerity. “Yeah—‘course!” He flexed his bicep. “Leave it up to Takemaru Yakushiji—I got your back, bro!”

“Haha—that’s encouraging to hear.” We walked back to the cafeteria together. I wanted a light snack, then I had one more stop to make. I had one less thing plaguing my mind so—I’d be able to move forward from here.

I knew it wouldn’t be easy to convince Eito, and this whole thing would be just as hard on me—but sometimes you had to burn the forest floor to encourage new growth... I had at least taken that crucial first step, planting a seed of doubt in Eito’s mind over whether it was even worth clinging onto his lifelong grudge against humanity. I could already feel that things were diverting from the future in which I made that promise... I just had to believe in the Eito who stood with me at the end and wanted to change... who died desperately wanting for me to understand him. The Eito in front of me now was that same person, but he also wasn’t... Even just my presence here has put something intangible in motion.

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I couldn’t knock on the Defense Room doors with the Undying Flames in the way, so... “Hello? I’m here—can I talk to you again?” I waited. “I’m sorry if it burns more of your energy, but—I’d really like to see you.”

Swirling purple flames coalesced into a wavering after-image of a boy around my age. He looked a little surprised to see me again so soon—but also relieved.

“Hello again, Takumi... What brings you here?” His voice was small again, like before we welcomed him as one of us... It hurt a bit to hear him being so timid, but—I couldn’t help but feel relief wash over me just seeing him again. He wasn’t that soulless husk suspended in those golems—even if this wasn’t his “real” body, this is how I knew him.

“Shion—I’m so relieved to see you.”

He looked taken aback. “Um... ‘Shion’?”

“Oops!” I covered my mouth sheepishly. “I’m sorry... I guess I ruined the surprise. Haha...” I rubbed the back of my neck, looking up at his avatar apologetically. “That’s the name Sirei picked out for you... while he was watching over you.”

“... oh!” He still seemed shocked, but something in his ghostly visage... softened. “I see...” He looked to the side, his flames flickering—that must have made him happy, even if it was a lot to process. “But... how did you know that? Did he tell you?”

I peered around me, making sure no one else was eavesdropping... “Actually, Shion—I have a lot to tell you.” He was the one person I felt that I could trust with anything—he was even willing to go against Sirei in our future. Not that I would ask him to do that now, or overwhelm him with all this new information—but I knew I could tell him anything without holding back. “I’ve come back a second time—thanks to you.” I put my hand over my heart. “And not just me—I brought everyone’s wishes for a better future back with me.”

“Oh!” His avatar’s eyes went wide. “I see... You do feel different, Takumi...” His form hovered closer. His flames were still intense—he wasn’t used to regulating his temperature to be around us yet.

He peered right into my eyes. I know they weren’t really “his” eyes, but—I gazed back at him just the same, hiding nothing, just like I had done with Eito. All of our time spent together as a team—no, a family—Shion finally feeling what it was like to have friends, choosing how to live his life and use his death, instead of being just a tool or an instrument of war—even knowing that feeling sadness for having to part ways with us made him human. Everything—I conveyed it all through my eyes.

“... I see.” He had a contented smile, his eyes closing. “I understand... Takumi.” He looked shy when he finally looked back at me. “Um... I can’t maintain this form for long, but... if you have time, I’d like to talk with you some more.”

“Of course.” I sat down cross-legged, with my back rested against the cool metal wall. “I have all the time in the world.”

Shion’s ghost hovered down next to me, his mismatched eyes almost seeming like they were shining.

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Hey everybody, thanks for reading! ^_^

I was profoundly affected by Naoki Urasawa’s Monster, that story challenged my own values and sense of empathy, and asked a lot of hard-hitting questions—are dangerous adults beyond redemption, or is it worth trying to reach out to the broken child inside? Whose fault is it that fucked up people turn out the way they are—is there something wrong with their brain, or is it their environment that messes them up? That’s the mindset I (and Takumi) have when approaching characters like Eito—but that’s basically just a flowery way of saying, “I can fix him!” 😂

I was looking for a short and snappy expression for “wanting to understand” for the title, like 分かりたい (wakaritai), but I like the nuance (and blunt sincerity) of saying, “I want to understand you.” Especially given what Takumi originally said in the “Farewell” ending to Eito—“You’re still the only person I couldn’t fully trust or understand, right until the end.” Like c’mon man, you couldn’t have at least tacked on, “But I think I’m finally starting to...” T_T Even though it was a little late, the guy did bare his soul to you...

I actually started writing this impulsively after getting my first ending “Farewell”, and then going back for the "Rebellion” route. [Edit from the Future: At the time of publishing Chapter 9, I’ve gotten over 60 endings, including the S.F. route and all its requirements, as well as the Coming-of-Age and Multiple Eitos routes, which have some of the best sus/gay Eito content lol. But this fic really was started as a trauma response to the “Farewell” ending being my first going in blind 😂😭] 

You probably got the vibe already, but the “Yugamu & Takumi” tag is for their ambiguously close fruity ahh friendship lol. Not trying to introduce a love triangle (maybe in Eito’s mind lol), but there might be some history. I’m also happy to see that Shion finally has a named character tag, he didn’t when I first posted this story ^_^ The tag for the three of them is pretty self-explanatory lol, they’re so precious 🥹

Thanks for reading, y’all! ^_^ See ya next time~

Chapter Text

Chapter 2 – Kokoro

I was pacing around my room restlessly—I’m pretty sure I remember Murvrum coming back on Day 7, but the timelines were starting to blur for me. I know he attacked and retreated the very first day, when it was only Hiruko, Takemaru, Darumi, and I who fought—but everything was different now, who knows if he’d even still return alone this time, or gather up some reinforcements. I had to decide what to do about it quick—according to Dahl’xia, Murvrum was an inexperienced soldier who was pushed out on the front lines by V’ehxness... If we could convince him not to fight us, or at least if we could avoid killing him, that would be ideal—but that presented a whole new problem. I couldn’t openly declare that we were refusing to fight or siding with the Futurans—unless we destroyed Sirei. I would also have to be completely transparent with everyone that we were actually the invaders on their planet—and I didn’t even want to think about when I was supposed to reveal Shouma’s big twist... It would just crush everyone’s spirits this early on, I had to be careful with that knowledge.

But... ugh, what was I supposed to do?! I couldn’t even justify fighting the small fry “invaders” anymore, knowing what they really were, hearing their voices cry out, “I don’t want to die!” and “Kill me!”... This knowledge really was a heavy burden. I knew we could at least get by without Sirei for a hundred days... Whatever I decided to tell the others, I had to at least inform Shion as soon as possible that he didn’t need to supply the missiles—he could use his flames for whatever he wanted, even just visiting us with his avatar. That was his right. And, since Shion didn’t need to conserve his energy for “one final push”, we could decide together if we still wanted to use his flames defensively or as a last resort... We just had to go into the Defense Room and smash up all the silos so that another fatal error would occur on Day 100—even if something went horribly wrong and we weren’t able to stand up against an even more powered-up V’ehxness—I would never fire the missiles on this planet. That was just completely off the table.

As long as I made the best faith effort I could to negotiate with the Commanders… I couldn’t blame them if they still wanted to fight us, either. From their point of view, there was no going back from what the “Children of the Stars” had done to their home. We were the villains in their story—and they had no reason to believe that this random group of kids were any different, that we were somehow the “good ones”. But... what if I could broadcast something over the PA system? Send messages over the Undying Flame wall? I could openly declare that we were opposed to the dictator V’ehxness but bore no ill will towards the people of Futurum at large... I could try to say that we were peace emissaries. No… that would just appear disingenuous at best, one look at this building that was practically a fortress made it obvious we didn’t come in peace...

“Ugh...” I pressed my palms against the sides of my head, willing my skull to just pop...

I sat at the edge of my bed, letting my arms drop to my sides... I haven’t even considered what the people on the Artificial Satellite might do. Assuming it was fully operational, they could touch down on the planet anytime, they didn’t necessarily have to wait until after the land had been razed... Would they come down and try to stop us when they realized we weren’t fighting for their “new home” anymore? In a perfect world... I’d like all the humans to be able to make peace with the Futurans, and be able to share the planet and rebuild everything together—but that seemed like such a ludicrous ask after everything that had already happened, it was insulting. Things had escalated far beyond that point.

But... In my second timeline, Sirei had made a fair point—the vast majority of folks up on the satellite were completely innocent. They weren’t even from the same generation as the humans who destroyed their own planet. The satellite had taken so long to build, the people who necessitated it be built in the first place were long gone... The people on the Artificial Satellite now were just living ordinary lives, probably terrified in the back of their minds of their resources running out. Unaware that they would be complicit in genocide to settle their “new planet”...

I fell back onto my bed, the mattress feeling neither firm nor cushy... This would be an impossible choice. I understood that well enough when I tried to change things the first time—there was no easy answer, there was no path that avoided bloodshed. Opening one door meant closing all the others. It was naïve of me to think I could blow through it this time and get my “Good Ending”, but... I just had to try. I knew what trying to selfishly fulfill a promise got me… I had to look at the bigger picture, and use my new power responsibly—and I had to keep in mind what everyone else would want. What the friends from my timeline who gave their lives would want... I couldn’t lose sight of that.

I pressed the heels of my palms into my eyes... This is driving me crazy. I need to take a walk or something to clear my head, then come back to it... I can’t afford to make any rash decisions because my nerves are shot.

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Hm? Eito was writing something on the small squat desk in the enclosure—I didn’t give him a pen, so someone else must’ve... Hopefully he doesn’t get any bright ideas about stabbing himself in the chest and using his hemoanima to escape, like last time... Well, apparently that would only be possible if another blackout made the cage’s protective barrier go off. That machine still needs to be dealt with before I start openly defying Sirei and our mission directive—I can’t have him cattle-prodding and brainwashing me again, at any cost. I can’t afford to lose even a scrap of the memories I’ve brought back with me.

Hmm... If it was just a matter of stealing back my Infuser, I’m sure Yugamu could do it with his eye closed... If I make myself a survival knife from the Gift-O-Matic, I could probably hack up the tubes on that machine and damage the motherboard or whatever beyond repair. But it would be better to not do something like that until I’ve gotten rid of Sirei—if that’s what we all agree to do. In my second timeline, even Sirei managed to be swayed by our feelings, letting us decide for ourselves if we wanted to continue to fight for humanity or abandon them, even advising us to destroy him so he couldn’t interfere if we chose to end the war. But—this isn’t the same Sirei. The “Will of Humanity” hasn’t been informed of what’s happening on this planet yet—so per Sirei’s programming, he’d still just try to stop us at any cost.

Oh—I could try asking Shion to melt the machine beyond repair with his flames, Sirei wouldn’t be able to do anything to him in retaliation… Shion has way more bargaining power over him than he realizes. But... I don’t want to ask too much of him upfront and overwhelm him, and I also don’t want to treat him like a “tool” myself, even if I believe I’m asking him to do something that’s objectively morally correct. I want to build up his confidence so he can make his own decisions on what is right, and how to use his power and what little time he has left—he deserves that much, in this timeline or any other. That, and... Sirei was the only person he ever had contact with before now... I couldn’t just ask him to defy his “father” out of nowhere. Even if Shion believed everything I told him about the future... it just wouldn’t be right, I can’t put too much on him all at once.

Argh—I wish I had more time before the Commanders attacked to organize everyone and get all their thoughts, and come to a unanimous decision—I’d rather not have to kill any Futurans needlessly just in the name of defending ourselves. If the next Commander to attack is going to be Murvrum again, then I have a chance to appeal to him—as “the son of the great warrior Dahl’xia, who was deposed by V’ehxness.” He could serve as our first weak link in their chain of command, and a possible bridge to the Futurans who opposed V’ehxness at large. She’s the only one who can’t be reasoned with, with her megalomaniacal delusions of reaching Godhood—oh.

I couldn’t help but glance at Eito in his cage, quietly writing at his desk while sitting in a seiza. He almost seemed like a kid from an old, wealthy family… he said that in his implanted memories, he even killed his own parents—how did no one monitoring our growth at Kamukura General Hospital never notice such a glaring development like that? Well... whatever, there was no point dwelling on it now. To the Eito of this timeline, those memories were very real... I can’t afford to tell him the truth until I’ve told all the others, because knowing him he’d maliciously blab it to anyone who even stepped within a fifty-foot radius of him, just to throw our group into disorder and despair. Haah... that just brings me back to that initial impulsive thought. If I truly believed V’ehxness couldn’t be reasoned with... why was I making an exception for someone like Eito?

He also had aspirations to wipe out an entire species, and an inflated sense of self that drove him to do it—he said he was studying hard to become a politician so he could dismantle humanity from the top down. Like—that was realistically evil. What was the real difference between him and her? Because I had seen him undergo a change with my own eyes? Then, what’s to say that V’ehxness couldn’t have a change of heart, under extreme enough circumstances? Ugh—going down that line of thought would just drive me insane. I just had to put that little nagging voice out of my mind that said I was being hypocritical—I just had to take V’ehxness at her actions every time we’ve encountered her. According to the empirical evidence, she would stop at nothing to destroy us and the last vestiges of mankind given the chance—no tactics were off the table. She couldn’t be reasoned with, because she believed all other life forms were beneath her—even her own people. Even her own sister... Well—did Eito only have his change of heart because he found out none of us were human, after all?

“Agh...” I slapped my palm to my forehead, as if that would knock out the intrusive thoughts. Just stop it—I’ll seriously drive myself into the ground going around in circles. There has to be a bottom line somewhere—at the very least, we have to defend ourselves against V’ehxness’ aggression—and if we have to kill her to stop her from killing us... then so be it. That was the only aspect of Sirei’s touted “This Is War” rhetoric I could accept—defensive survival. If we made every effort to differentiate ourselves from the first wave of aggressors from humanity, who caused such destruction to the cities of Futurum—if we proposed a ceasefire in good faith, and that still wasn’t good enough for V’ehxness—then so be it. I wouldn’t even blame any Futurans who thought the effort was “too little, too late”—there were some things that could never be undone. But still—I had to try. At the very least, after their dictator had been dealt with, I could give the remaining Futurans my word that we wouldn’t fire the missiles. That was one promise I could keep—no matter what.

“Haha... I wonder if that poor, wretched hamster spinning wheels in that head of yours is as vile-looking as you, Takumi?” Eito’s disingenuous smile beamed from between the gaps in the bars. “Can you imagine it? Like one of those lumpy bootleg plushies...” He brushed his chin, as if he was actually giving it consideration... “Only covered in open sores and cancerous growths... maybe some little porcupine spines for good measure! Haha...” He leaned his arms on the desk in this bizarrely casual way. “If it’s about the size of a potato, I suppose an ugly little thing like that could still be cute, in its own way...”

“I’m honestly shocked to hear you say something like that.”

“Haha... I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t shout at me from across the courtyard, Takumi—your shrill voice is ear-splitting enough as it is.” But—you shouted at me first, I was just minding my own business! Gah...

I approached the enclosure from literally the other side of the courtyard, and stood a respectable distance away from the bars. “Haven’t you ever heard the phrase, ‘It takes two to tango’?” I made sure my voice was nice and soft, for his sensitive little ears...

He pushed up his glasses, still seated at his low table. “That’s much better—thank you.” Even that sounded insincere... Oh—he had that old-fashioned gridded paper that novelists use sprawled out on the desk. Was he actually writing something? He did say he wanted to be an author when the war was over... I should tell him that, it might encourage him and lend more credence to the fact that I actually got to know a “reformed” version of him from my future... “Don’t worry, Takumi—Hiruko said she’d be taking my pen away from me before the end of the day.” His false smile was practically shining. “She said she’d be inspecting it carefully for missing parts—no homemade ‘shivs’ for me! I’m merely passing my time in a leisurely way before, you savages all decide I’m too dangerous to keep around and execute me.”

“—that’s not going to happen.”

“Hahaha...” His gentle laugh was unnerving. “Takumi... What do you think I’m going to do the second I escape this cell?” His gentle smile was terrifying. “No boring answers now! I want you to really use your imagination...”

“You won’t be escaping your cell.” I stepped closer to the bars. “Because I plan on letting you go back to sleeping in your own room, once all the others trust you enough.”

His smile fell, and for a second his eyes widened. “Aha... That’s not a very smart move, Takumi.” His fake smile was up again just as fast, his eyes crescents behind his glasses. “You’ll only get taken advantage of if you’re so trusting... I bet you used to respond to those chain emails about needing a money wire, didn’t you? Haha...”

I gripped the bars, peering down at him through the gap. “I have reason to trust you this time.” His expression was completely unreadable. “Stop being so stubborn—you’re making your future self cry.”

“Don’t talk like you know anything about me.” His tone was sharp and quick, like a homemade shiv. “There is no ‘future me’—I only know myself.” His icy eyes were piercing, even from this angle.

I tried to think of something to say in response... but then something hit me. My promise to “try to understand” Eito wasn’t “I’ll try to change you”... I thought he had to change for me to even begin to try to understand him, but... I had to try to understand him as he was, for him to be able to change. Oh... I’ve been thinking about it backwards this whole time.

I was looking down at him through the bars, while he sat with impeccable posture at his desk, peering up at me with those pale, striking eyes. For once, I was at a higher vantage point than him—now that his flicker of hostility had passed, he was peering up at me openly, almost curiously, like a child—although his eyes were still narrowed. I really do wonder how he sees me... it couldn’t be that horrible, could it? People who watch medical dramas or crime shows get used to the sight of bloated corpses or dismembered body parts... but maybe that’s only because there’s still that disconnect that it’s all props and prosthetics. If literally everyone around you not only looked, but smelled like a rotting corpse, and just the sound of them talking at normal volume pierced your ears, and you could never get away from it anywhere you went... I could understand how that would drive a person mad. If it was me, I’d probably just become a hermit and build a shack out in the woods somewhere, living off the land quietly all alone... My first thought wouldn’t be “slaughter them all.” Maybe that’s the difference between us...

“You look like a demon.”

“—what?”

Eito smirked—that unhinged, wide smirk that seemed to split his face, his eyes crushed to crescents. “You’re dying to know what you look like to me. You can’t stop thinking about it—questioning whether it ‘really is that bad’, and ‘what you would do if you were in my shoes.’” He pushed up his glasses. “I can read you like a book, Takumi—I wonder why that is? After all, we haven’t known each other very long...” Kh—the bad kind of goosebumps prickled over my skin, I hope he didn’t see that. I didn’t like that tone—that drawn-out, knowing, mocking tone in his high-pitched, gentle voice—it’d been a while since I heard him talk that way in earnest, it made my skin crawl. “Oh, dear—have I upset you? Haha... I’m sorry, Takumi—does that go against your little plan of bewitching me under your thrall?” His eyes were scrunched into a disingenuous smile. “I don’t know what you were planning by having me touch your vile hand like that, and your putrid face—you’re fortunate I didn’t projectile vomit all over you this morning, you know!”

... This is just getting ridiculous. It’s like he was just flailing around in death throes, hoping to hit something… Eito probably felt humiliated at completely locking up when I approached him so openly this morning, feeling completely out of his depth and unable to even process such a complex flood of unfamiliar emotions. I knew it would be a shock to his system, so—I’m not surprised that he’s reacting like a histrionic child now. That’s all this is... He’s just desperately trying to “come out on top” by insulting me and getting under my skin, making a last-ditch effort to scramble to check me after I took his Queen, even though he has no hope of winning... I kind of feel bad for him. The only person he’s hurting is himself. It’s impossible for this version of him to be honest, even within the sanctity of his own mind… He believes all those memories of isolation are real—the hatred he feels is real. So he’s wrapped himself in so many protective acidic layers, he can’t even fathom a version of himself that doesn’t need that aggressive protection. Let alone someone who wouldn’t want to keep everyone else far, far away…

I let go of the bars, sitting down cross-legged in front of the cell. “There’s no secret plan to ‘bewitch’ you to do anything... I was pretty transparent with you already. I’m just fulfilling my promise to your own self.” I tried to make eye contact with him through the bars, but he was avoiding it—I could see him clenching his teeth, his jaw was tight. “I just wanted you to be able to understand his feelings, since he tried so hard to change...”

“That’s preposterous!” He shot to his feet—he had that manic look in his eye, his face twisted in disgust. “This isn’t some cheesy anime about the ‘heart of the cards’—memories and emotions don’t work like that!” He was clenching his fist while he ranted. “I don’t believe you for a second—you probably worked out some way to influence my mind, like the vile succubus you are...” Um... “That’s what you look like to me—scraps of flesh hanging from a blackened skeleton, with these grotesque shredded wings, like you’ve been dipped in acid and sulfur for all eternity—you’re disgusting...! I’ll never be able to wash off the stink from your fetid hand...!” He was breathing heavy, his bloodshot eyes wide—it honestly seemed like he was on the verge of a panic attack, I don’t know if he was beyond the point where I could deescalate... It might be smarter to just let him burn himself out and leave him alone for the rest of the day...

“I see... Well, if my presence is upsetting you so much, then I’ll leave you to work on your novel in peace.” I pushed myself up off the ground, wiping the bits of grass off the back of my legs. “I hope you can make some good progress while it’s still light out.” I wanted to look back at him one more time, but for some reason I couldn’t... I just tried to keep my pace even as I left the courtyard. I could still see that manic look in his eye—unfortunately it would still be burned into my brain for a while after the first time...

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I realized I was just pushing the rice around my bowl, and it was starting to get gummy the longer it sat... Haah. I just didn’t have much of an appetite anymore... Maybe if I jazzed it up a little with some sesame oil and bonito flakes I’d want to finish it...

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“Haaah... Mr. Sumino?” Ima came strolling down the hallway with Kako in tow, his body language aloof and detached as always. Kako at least gave me a smile—hopefully, the two of them could come out of their shells sooner rather than later this time around. “That prisoner of yours is awfully needy—my dear sister and I were trying to enjoy a lovely nighttime stroll through the courtyard, and he kept bothering us and shouting at me to flag me down! Good grief!” He stretched his arms above his head boredly. “He kept pestering me that he needed another book to read—when I told him I’d chuck him an e-reader if it’ll shut him up, he insisted that he preferred the feel of real paper books—and you were the only one that knew his tastes anyway, so I had to come get you! Haah...” He sighed, turning to Kako. “Isn’t that the most pathetic, exhausting thing you’ve ever heard, Sister Dearest?”

Kako’s eyes cast to the side. “Well...”

“Precisely—now, let’s continue our moonlit walk around the schoolyard!” He started dragging her away by the hand—

“—hey, you two be careful outside at night, okay? Just don’t go anywhere near the wall of flames...”

“Ha!” Ima flipped his pin-straight hair. “We’re more than used to surviving on the streets, Mr. Sumino. This dilapidated school is a palace compared to some of the places we’ve had to lay our heads.”

“Ima...” Kako peered up at me. “Takumi just wants us to come back safe, that’s all...”

“Ahh! Calling Mr. Sumino by his first name?!” He looked so scandalized... “Come along now, Sister Dearest—some fresh air will help clear your head!” Geez—all she did was say my name, it’s not like she offered to cook me breakfast... Poor Kako, good luck with the world’s most over-protective big brother—I hope he snaps out of it before he stabs someone again...

While he was dragging her away, she twisted over her shoulder. “Um—” She waved over her head. “Good night, Mr. Takumi! We’ll be safe, don’t worry!”

“Agh—‘Mr. Takumi’ isn’t much better!” Sounding like he might faint from the drama, Ima quickly ushered her away. Haah... well, even if I think his methods are a little extreme, at least I know Ima’s heart is in the right place… Those two should be fine, they just need a little push to open up to the others more. Kako was already much more confident than she was the first time around—I don’t even remember how long it took for her to call Ima by his name…

With a small smile, I headed towards the library.

百

I was so caught up worrying about Kako and Ima, the ridiculousness of Eito’s request was hitting me just now… Haah... that guy was more hot and cold than an icicle up the devil’s ass, but I did say I’d bring him another book tonight, it wouldn’t exactly be a good look for me if I welched on my word right off the bat... The only thing I could do was just keep trying to win him over with sincerity.

Hmm... last time Eito was over the moon for that ridiculously salacious History of Mankind publication... But he also strikes me as the type who’d enjoy classic literature. He might’ve already read all the classics, if his programmed backstory was being a privileged only child... But then again, he might get something completely different out of reading it again with fresh eyes, so to speak... [A/N: Hiruko mentions Osamu Dazai by name, so apparently classic lit still exists in the TRC ;)]

“Hmm...” I perused the shelf for Japanese literature, tipping out a book here and there... oh. I remember having to read this one for school, but I actually ended up liking it... Well, I suppose they probably just uploaded it into my brain as “learning material” to help teach me language... Hmm. That begs an interesting philosophical question, though—was my reaction to this book also programmed, or was it my genuine reaction after having the words programmed?

I realized I was absently brushing the smooth paperback surface of the slim book. Hmm... Actually, I’d be interested in reading it again after Eito was finished with it. I want to know what my honest reaction will be... as myself.

百

The view of the night sky projected onto the dome of the courtyard was still soothing, even though I knew it was just a giant LED screen... It wouldn’t be so bad to take an occasional “moonlit stroll” myself, or talk with Shion up on the roof where we could look out at the stars for real... I’m sure he’d like that. Maybe Nozomi could join us, too, and we could all take turns looking through her telescope as she pointed out constellations...

“You look awfully pleased with yourself, Takumi!” Eito waved in what would normally pass for a friendly gesture, as if he didn’t flip his shit on me just a few hours earlier... “Haha... I’ve almost gotten used to your twisted visage, like trying to glean meaning from an abstract painting!”

“I see—well, that’s good to know.” He looked slightly annoyed that I wasn’t rebuffed at all by his insult to my appearance... “I heard you wouldn’t stop bothering the twins until I brought you your book...”

“Haha... Well, you’re not doing a very good job fulfilling your promises, are you, Takumi?” The shadows under his eyes were dark, that completely hollow smile spitting venom on the word “promises”. How exhausting... he’s the one who chased me away earlier, making such a scene...

I brought the small book out from behind my back. “Well, I did pick out a book for you, but you may have read it already...” I smoothed a small dog-ear in the corner with my fingers. There is something nice about a soft paperback book... “I remember reading this for our classic lit course for school, but I ended up really liking it.”

“Is that so?” He sounded haughty again. “So it’s something you were forced to read...”

“Well, yeah, I guess... but that doesn’t mean I didn’t genuinely get something out of it.” I held the book sideways, slipping it through the bars rather than depositing it into the sliding tray.

He gently took the book from me, careful not to brush my fingers this time... He studied the cover with an unreadable expression, the moonlight reflecting off the curve of his glasses. “... Of course I’ve read Sōseki Natsume.” He also smoothed his fingers across the cover. “But I haven’t read Kokoro in a long while.” He was holding the book almost with reverence... His implanted memories were probably so sad, before he let his hatred fester he was probably a pretty lonely child who only had the world inside of books for company...

“Well, good—I’m sure it’ll be nice to read it again with fresh eyes.” The trickling of the fountain was pleasant, and helped give the courtyard a cool ambience. “Actually—I’d like to read it again myself, whenever you’re done with it.” He hadn’t winced once while I was talking to him, so it looked like I finally found the right soft volume to keep my voice at. “... Maybe we can discuss it afterwards, if you want?”

I couldn’t see his eyes behind the glare of his glasses. “Haha... A book club for two with a monster like you...” He pushed up his glasses, and I only caught a flash of his long eyelashes. “What an absurd suggestion... Though, I suppose I truly don’t have anything better to do in this cage besides stare at the ceiling...” It almost sounded like he was being self-aware over how stubborn he was being...

“... that’s good. I would like to hear your thoughts on it...” I chose that book carefully for that reason—from what I could remember, it dealt with feelings of self-imposed isolation, and desperately wanting to make a connection with another person. Feeling like you don’t belong in a modern society that’s leaving you behind, and feeling guilty for even being alive... It was a risky move, given how the novel ended, but... I wanted to hear Eito’s thoughts after putting himself in the mindset of someone like the main character’s Sensei, who didn’t know what to do with himself in a post-war nation that felt so alienating... If he would even be honest with me about his thoughts. Kokoro was such a tender and honest novel, I hope that he would be...

He sighed. “Oh, Takumi—how am I supposed to relax and enjoy this book if you’re chomping at the bit to read it next?” He was obviously being sarcastic, but... it was less biting and smug, and more just teasing... “I don’t suppose the library has another copy, or a second edition? Or can you make one with the Gift-O-Matic?” He actually winked, I caught it behind his glasses. “I’m quite an eloquent reader, you know—perhaps I can read aloud while we soak up the ambience of this lovely courtyard together? The moon is quite beautiful tonight, isn’t it?”

... I can’t tell if he’s being serious. He’s just fucking with me—what a dick move to say something like that. His future self would be... agh, I guess I don’t even know how his future self would feel about it... But it’s in poor taste to my ears.

“... I think I’m fine, thanks.” I turned quickly, feeling hot blood rushing in my ears... I knew it was stupid of me to think I could get through to him that easily. What a joke—he was just reveling in letting me think I took a step forward, just to push me three back...

I quickly left the courtyard, charging up the stairs.

[A/N: Natsume was famous for coining the phrase, “The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?” for his students to translate a more subtle expression for “I love you.”]

百

I was rubbing my neck, absently looking up at the night sky beyond the high fence surrounding the roof... That wasn’t even a “moon” up there at all—it was all the refugees from a long-destroyed Earth, just hoping and praying they’d get to land on this planet and start a new life. Tch—how nice it must be, to be completely unaware of the slaughter happening below so you can get your fresh new “uninhabited” planet...

“Tch...” I just wanted to go to bed. I was already in a bad mood—today was just a wash. I felt like I didn’t achieve anything. I just thought myself in circles about what to do when the Commanders came—and Eito just spat a genuine gesture back in my face. What an asshole... “Haah...” I clutched onto the chain-link fence, swaying back and forth with what little give it had... I felt like a bratty kid on the playground who was dragging his feet to not go home. Haah... I guess I wouldn’t even know what that was like, would I?

My forehead touched against the thin links of the fence. This is impossible... the person I made that promise to is long gone. I don’t think someone like him would ever be coming back...

百

I kept turning restlessly in bed, unable to get an intrusive thought out of my mind... What if Eito was actually trying to make an awkward connection with me? What if he was being serious about wanting to enjoy a quiet moment reading together, he just cloaked it in a layer of sarcasm so it didn’t seem too forward, or to protect himself if he got rejected? Ugh—there’s no way that was true... not after the way he flipped out on me this afternoon...

I grabbed my pillow, pressing it down over my ear. Just go to sleep... I don’t want to lie awake thinking about this shit anymore. I’m so exhausted, but my mind keeps running in circles... Damnit...

I breathed out noisily through my nose, yanking my pillow off me and stuffing it under my arm. I just couldn’t help but picture the hurt look on his face in the 0.01% chance he was actually serious... like the way his brows knit together when he wanted to “see” my face for the first time before he died—even without being able to see his eyes, I could tell what he was feeling. Ugh—I just imagined that person, that Eito who I made that promise to, forlornly looking after me as I huffed and charged out of the courtyard, wondering what he said wrong... Ugh—the real Eito down in that cage was probably snickering to himself for getting under my skin so much, taking apart that pen to jury-rig a lockpick before Hiruko could grab it from him—damnit. I wanted to have faith in him, but—it was more clear than ever that I was dealing with two completely different people.

I stared at the blank wall across from my bed. Part of me wanted to just throw on my jacket and go back down there, just to see what he was doing... Just to see what kind of face he was making. But it wasn’t worth it to just make a fool of myself again by “crawling back” to that jackass, playing into his little mind-game... but... what if...

I just laid in bed with my eyes wide open, unable to move.

百

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Hey everybody, thanks for reading! ^_^ I just wanted to get this short and sweet(?) chapter out, just so you guys know it’s not just gonna end up in the abandoned oneshot graveyard XD I’m still working out the details of the outline, wracking my brain just like Takumi lol. I just want everyone to know that the driving force will still be the emotions and the characters—the Kokoro, if you will :)

Thank you again for all the comments, I love reading and responding to them 🤭 See ya next time!

Chapter Text

Chapter 3 – You’re Not Here

I’m ashamed of myself.

How could I say my first day back was a “wash”, when I was able to reunite with everyone and help us feel more united as a group? I let myself get carried away with personal drama—how could I just stew in my room over something like that, when I was the one who was supposed to carry on everyone else’s wishes? I felt like such a selfish brat...

I let the warm water hit my face, standing under the showerhead while the steam gathered behind the glass. It felt good to finally shower... Even though all of that didn’t “just” happen, the memory was still painfully recent for me... I’ll never forget that battle in the Defense Room, or how the others looked in their last moments... but for now, I had to just let all of that wash off of me so I could move forward. Nobody would want to see me paralyzed while agonizing over them—they’d all want me to move on and do the best with my third chance, for all of their past selves as well. I know they would...

I turned around, wiping the water from my eyes and letting the hot needles hit my back. I realized something after sleeping on it, once I could finally stop tossing and turning with “what ifs”... I kept upsetting Eito so much because I was essentially trying to “brute force it”. In my mind, I had all the answers—I knew his ridiculous backstory was all just fictitious, so from my perspective there was no reason to harbor such hatred for mankind... But I had to remind myself that even if those memories weren’t based on real experiences, they still shaped who he was. They literally molded how his brain developed. It wouldn’t be something he could so easily let go of... even if he was presented proof without a shadow of a doubt. Which I couldn’t really provide him... just the feelings of his future self that I carried with me. But even that was still just nebulous… that’s probably why it threw him off so much, it was too little to go off of, but too significant to deny. It might as well just be “the heart of the cards”, as far as he was concerned.

I had to remember that Eito was a complex, multi-faceted person—even though it was clear he could get extremely emotional, he still made most of his decisions logically. He was intelligent, and distrustful and skeptical by nature. I guess you could say that he was so susceptible to getting worked up because he didn’t know what to do when his carefully-laid plans failed—his anger, humiliation, and disbelief that he’d been “outdone” just ran unchecked, and he lashed out like a cornered animal. I had to keep in mind that that was the kind of person I was dealing with now—not the Eito that I parted ways with, who felt he might as well be honest because he had nothing left to hide. He was even capable of self-awareness... Towards the end, I could even see traces of the kind Eito who made cheesy long-winded friendship speeches without any embarrassment—even if that was just a mask he wore to be able to move through society. But if he wore it every single day, then at what point was it just a part of him?

I had another intrusive thought—“I miss that you—the you that’s down there right now is too difficult to deal with.”

“Ugh...” I tilted my head back, letting the hot water weigh down my hair. What a shameful thought… Oh, I already washed and rinsed out my hair. I was really getting lost in my own thoughts lately...

I enjoyed the feeling of the warm water hitting my back for another few seconds, then turned the handle off. At least Sirei always managed to provide us with nice, fluffy towels every morning... How did he swing that, anyway? Urgh... He wasn’t sneaking into our rooms at night to gather up all our dirty laundry like a house faerie, was he...

I shuddered all over, despite the pleasant warmth from my shower—you know what, I’d just rather not think about it.

I got dressed automatically, my idle thoughts wandering... I should spend some time making sure all the others were adjusting, and just give Eito some space for now. At this point, I just had to be patient and let him work things out for himself until he was ready to meet me halfway. As he was now, Eito didn’t know how to interact with anyone as his genuine self. He probably never had his whole life... all he had were those lonely memories to inform who he was. His only truly honest moment was at the very last second of his life. But—now he had the chance to make his own memories, and decide things for himself without it being fed through a wire to his brain.

More and more it was starting to feel like I could only get through to him if I revealed the whole truth—but that would get real messy real fast, especially if I tried to keep that same truth from the others—there’s just no way it would work.

“Haah...” No—I just had to give him some space for now to process what he needed to process. At this point, it was basically like I trapped a feral cat—I couldn’t get mad or frustrated at it for hissing at me, of course it would—it didn’t understand what was going on, or what my intentions were. It was just going off of its self-preservation instincts. I couldn’t just try to convince the cat that I knew what was better for it, actually, so it could stop hissing and clawing at me now—I had to show it that it was safe with me, and build up trust little by little. Then, once the cat’s own instincts weren’t telling it that it was in danger anymore, maybe eventually it’d start eating out of my hand and let me pet it…

... maybe this metaphor was getting a little weird.

百

Everyone else was in the cafeteria this morning, which was nice to see.

“Oh—hey, Takumi.” Of all people, Gaku was the first to greet me. “—you wan’ some toas’?” He was talking with his mouth full...

“I’m fine, thanks.” I pulled out a chair. “How is everyone doing?”

“Haah...” Gaku sighed like the most beleaguered person in the world. “Well, it’s still a lot to take in—you being from the future and all.” Right—when I came back on the third day, it must’ve been after I decided to tell them all about it—I guess I couldn’t undo that choice even if I wanted to. But... it was starting to blur for me what they did and didn’t know the first time I went back... I’m pretty sure we had no idea this wasn’t Earth, but we did know that the “Tokyo Residential Complex” was really that big glowing satellite in the sky that looked like the moon...

Darumi was peering at me, stabbing her straw into some mushy boba clinging together at the bottom of her empty cup... “Hey, Takumi! Did you SHIFT or just use the morphogenetic field?”

“Uh... the what?”

“You knooow—like in those Zero-Sum Escape games!”

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about, sorry...”

“Aww...” Even her pigtails seemed to slump. “And here I thought I could SHIFT into a reality where Mistress Hiruko was stepping on me...”

Hiruko pushed up her glasses from across the table, resolutely ignoring poor Darumi like she wasn’t even worth her time... I really did miss Darumi’s non-sequiturs. It was just hitting me that she was really here, alive—I couldn’t squander this precious second chance. Well, third chance...

Hmm... Since she was so attached to Hiruko already, maybe I could encourage her to look out for her to make sure she’d be safe—hey, was Hiruko seriously drinking a glass of wine with breakfast?!

She must’ve sensed my thoughts, and her sharp eyes flicked up to me. “Oh, relax, Leader.” She had a small, wry smile. “This is merely a blend of pomegranate juice and cranberry—it helps keep my mind sharp first thing in the morning.”

“Well, okay...” Was it really necessary to pour it in a wine glass, though...

“Geez, lady...” Takemaru was packing away some breakfast sausages. “With how much you talk about ‘splitting their skulls’ and ‘pulverizing their insides’, I thought for sure that’d be invader blood...”

“How preposterous.” She pushed up her glasses, a worrying glint in her eye. “I bathe in it, silly—their blood helps keep me young.”

“Wah!”

“I knew it!!”

Then I heard something rare from her—a small laugh. “I’m merely kidding. Of course.” She quietly went back to daintily cutting her eggs benedict with crab cakes.

Takemaru was still regarding her wide-eyed from across the table, but I couldn’t help but get a small smile—it seemed like even Hiruko warmed up a little after my second return, it must’ve been her future self telling her it was okay to let her guard down with us a little...

I kept eating my breakfast in peace, listening in on the small conversations that broke out around the table—Tsubasa was even nice enough to try to get Shouma to join the conversation, asking him about his dog Leo... Poor Shouma, he’d be absolutely devastated when he found out that even Leo was just an implanted memory... haah, I’m not looking forward to when I have to drop that bomb into the middle of our group...

My eyes flicked to the empty chairs at the end of the long serving table. I just had to deal with Murvrum quickly, then make my way to Second-to-Last Defense Academy as soon as possible. I wanted us all here together—I just had to pray everyone would be safe here in the meantime...

百

“Well, hey there, sport!” Sirei appeared out of nowhere, like he was so fond of doing. He was smooshing his own cheeks, his little black eyes sparkling. “How’s my favorite time-traveler doing this morning?”

“... I’m actually doing pretty well, thanks.” It wouldn’t do me any good to show Sirei any hostility or skepticism—for now, he was still necessary to keep the peace around here. “It’s nice to see everyone getting along so well—it’s a healing way to start my day.”

“I see!” He gave me a big thumbs-up with a wink. At least, I think that was his thumb, it was just a spiky blob protruding from his perfectly round little hand... “Hfwahaha—glad to hear it, champ!” Haah... he was just buttering me up for some big ask, I could tell. Well—I can always beat him to the punch.

“Sirei—can you contact Nigou at Second-to-Last Defense Academy? I want the others to all join us here ASAP—I already know that their Defense Room is a decoy, anyway.”

“Sheesh—” Sirei blew a ‘whew’ out of his mouth. “You really do know everything, Sumino—very well, I suppose there’s no point keeping our forces divided any longer than necessary!” He gave another thumbs-up, looking like he sparkled... “I’ll get old Nigou on the horn—they should be able to get here lickety-split with their school bus!”

“Good—once things have calmed down here, I might want to go myself. Just to make sure their trip goes smoothly.” As hesitant as I was to leave the school vulnerable to V’ehxness showing up, there had been no sign of her so far... I was just hoping that the “pulse” she felt when I came back this time was so great, it had her exercising caution—I was stronger now than ever with all the others with me, I wasn’t someone she could trounce so easily like last time. That was my sincerest hope, anyway...

“Well, if you really feel that’s necessary...” Sirei shrugged his little arms. “You’re a pretty invaluable piece on the board, Sumino—just keep that in mind before you go gallivanting all over!”

“I will—trust me.”

“Ohoho...” He produced a little rose out of nowhere... “Just as long as we’re on the same page, soldier! There’s no need to be so shy around your commanding officer—I just want all my troops in tip-top fighting shape! That means both physically and mentally!”

“I understand...” Well, no use delaying the inevitable, he’d probably just pop up again and bother me later if I walked away, anyway. “So—was there something else you wanted to talk to me about?”

“No need to be so suspicious—it’s just a little check-up, Sumino!” He produced a chart and clipboard from somewhere, and even had little glasses on. “You see—I couldn’t help but observe that you go over and talk to our prisoner pretty often. I still think you should’ve just killed that madman when you had the chance, but that’s beside the point!” He winked at me. “At any rate—whether you’re trying to get information out of him or just make sure he’s behaving himself—going to that cage several times a day has been disastrous for your mental health! Wouldn’t you agree?”

“Well, you’re not wrong.”

“Wah!” He seemed shocked that I actually agreed. “Ahem—so, we’re on the same page about that, Sumino!” He coughed into his little fist. “Then, that’s all I wanted to say!” He winked, giving another thumbs up. “Just keep your visits with the prisoner to a minimum! Have the others check up on him, if you really feel the need to. That’s all, ohohoho!” He turned around, sprinting away on his stubby little legs in that way he does.

I stared off to where he seemingly disappeared into thin air. Of course it’s “disastrous” for my mental health, that just comes with the territory—this is Eito we’re talking about.

百

I spent the next few days training with everyone, getting them more comfortable with their Class Weapons, encouraging them like a proud coach… I still felt like I wasn’t exactly the best teacher, but thankfully everyone resolved themselves to fight this time. Some of the holdouts like Gaku and Shouma were stoked to hear how “awesome” they were in my timelines, and Kako particularly got a huge confidence boost after blowing apart a target dummy in one shot while she was focused. Since she was on board, it was a given that Ima followed—though he seemed a bit perturbed that his “Sister Dearest” was so quickly becoming independent. That almost ended badly my second time around, so—I just had to try my best to strike a balance with them. Hoo... these twins were always a handful, in any timeline, so I just had to exercise a little patience and understanding...

“Whew...” I twisted the cap off my water bottle, taking a nice cool swig... I still felt a little overwhelmed—with everyone’s hemoanima inside me it almost felt like I was a battery that had been overcharged. I was undoubtedly stronger, but... it still felt a little unstable. That was kind of worrying, in its own way—but it just meant I had to train harder to be able to maintain my new “self”. Having everyone with me made it all worth it—even though I couldn’t hear their voices or see their spirits, or anything like that—just knowing they were behind me gave me courage. It was almost a little embarrassing to think that now that my head was clearer… but that’s sincerely how I felt.

I gazed across the schoolyard, watching the wall of Undying Flames flickering in the distance, cutting right through crumbling buildings from a destroyed civilization... it really was harrowing. Thinking about how massive the death scale must’ve been before we were even born... I don’t know if peace or reconciliation would even be possible, in this or any timeline. I felt like I was being naïve even entertaining the possibility... but that’s what all of us sincerely wanted. I had to at least try to see things from both sides, and get both sides to understand each other—not only for those of us who died fighting, but all those innocent people on the satellite who were unceremoniously burned up into ash...

“Leader.” Of all people, Hiruko approached me.

“Oh—Hiruko.” I tried to smile, despite the dour thoughts swirling in my head. “What’s up?”

“Your movements...” Her sharp red eyes roamed over me, it felt so scrutinizing... “You’re undoubtedly strong, I imagine that’s the result of your surviving through one hundred days here already.” Her eyes narrowed. “However—something in your sword seems... erratic.” She crossed her arms. “Are we going to be able to rely on you when the time comes?”

“Of course—I won’t let you down.” I just answered automatically, but—I hate to admit it, but she brought up a fair point. “—I won’t slack on my training. The powers I brought back with me are just going to require a little finesse to get used to.” I hoped that was convincing enough for her... And I don’t know why this would suddenly bother me, but I hoped I used “finesse” in a sentence correctly...

Her all-seeing eyes certainly didn’t make me feel confident in my words... “... Very well.” She turned on her heel. “I’ve chosen to put my trust in you as our leader, so I’m sure you won’t disappoint us.”

I breathed a sigh of relief, which I hope she didn’t hear. “Thanks, Hiruko—um, I could use a strong sparring partner, if you’re free now...” She was already poised to walk away, so I felt a little lame asking...

I saw a glint in her eye in profile. “Is that so?” Ulp—“Well—if it’s a request from our leader, who am I to deny you?” Her aura was so intense, it even looked like her hair was flaring out…

I steeled myself, waiting for her to whip out her Infuser and show no mercy—honestly, this was getting my heart racing a bit. Her last moments were so... It was burned into my mind, one second she was reproaching me for wasting time and being sloppy, and the next second she was dead—I never even got to say goodbye. I knew she’d only be annoyed if I let myself despair and dwell on her death, but... To be honest, I was just so glad to see her again, it was almost like the unfairness of her death was pushing me forward even more. I couldn’t let her down—even if Hiruko wasn’t the type to express herself in words, I knew I’d be able to tell how she was feeling through the way she fought. Huh... That almost sounded like something Dahl’xia said.

She plunged her Infuser into her chest, a soul-piercing glint in her eye. “I won’t hold back, Leader...”

百

Day 7

百

The courtyard dome was displaying a bright orange sunset tinged with soft pink, lasting longer than it ever would in real life… but I wasn’t complaining.

“You’re so kind for visiting me like this so often, Takumi...” Eito closed his book, setting it gently in his lap. “You really are the nicest repulsive human in the world! Haha...” He was still using that color-changing bookmark. “You know, Takumi... Given what you’ve told us all about ‘World Death’—I can’t help but feel that humanity was only reaping their just rewards.” Well, it was no surprise he felt that way, I don’t know why he was framing it as this big revelation... “My question is... why would ‘invaders’ suddenly show up on a dying planet?” He pushed up his glasses, that sharp glint in his eye. “Where did they come from? Why would they be fighting us so intensely over a planet that’s destroying itself anyway?” He made that face-splitting grin. “That’s what I don’t understand...” So, Eito was already questioning things this early on... Or, maybe it’s because of my influence coming back. The others might’ve felt something, too, echoes of the futility and despair at the pointlessness of this whole war that their future selves felt...

“What do you think, Eito?”

“Me?” He seemed taken aback, which was odd. He pushed his glasses up, looking right into my eyes from his seated position. “Surely, you have all the answers, Takumi? That’s why you came all the way back here a third time, to ‘do things right’... What’s the point of listening to my baseless speculation? Haha...” He laughed lightly, his eyes closed to crescents. “I wonder how long you’ll be concealing the truth from those precious friends of yours? Won’t they hate you when they find out you were keeping something so important from them, like a parent who ‘knows better’ for their stupid child?”

I didn’t really have anything to counter that with. I couldn’t even come up with a simple non-answer like, “Well, who knows?”

Eito folded both hands on top of his book. “Let me tell you one of my favorite anecdotes from mankind’s sordid history.” His bright smile was so off-putting. “In the twenty-first century, there was an automobile company that became aware that their new models which had just hit the market had a fatal flaw—due to faulty ignition switches, it was possible for drivers to inadvertently turn their motors to the ‘off’ position while driving... Quite a large oversight, don’t you think? Haha... You can imagine how that wouldn’t end well for both the driver and anyone else who happened to be on the road with them.” His pleasant tone made him sound like an old man sitting on a park bench feeding the ducks, talking leisurely with a passing stranger. “This was all in a long-lost foreign currency called ‘cents’... All it would’ve taken was to issue a recall, and replace all the parts at about ninety cents a pop, so what would that be—one hundred and fifty yen? Maybe less? Seems simple enough, doesn’t it?” Against my better judgment, I did find myself curious where exactly he was going with this... “Well, this company didn’t want their reputation to be dragged through the mud by issuing a public recall, so—they brought in an analyst who determined that it would save the company money to just pay out the victims’ families when their loved ones were killed, rather than paying to replace all the parts.” His gentle smile was terrifying. “So now we definitively know the value of human life—one hundred and fifty yen! Isn’t that fascinating?”

The fountain gently flowed in the corner of the courtyard.

[A/N: By the way, this is real... I won’t say the name of the company but they were a “general motor” manufacturer. Capitalism, baby—what a world we live in 🙃]

I took a centering breath. “I’m aware that humanity’s sins are heavy... that doesn’t mean I have to follow in their footsteps.” I won’t let Eito’s cynicism rattle me—I guess “cynicism” was putting it lightly. “And that doesn’t mean that all humans are beyond redemption—what about Kokoro? Don’t you like that book?”

I just barely saw it, but Eito did flinch microscopically. “Haha... How compassionate you are, Takumi. Why, you’re so magnanimous and charitable—seeing the good in everyone! How admirable! If only all loathsome humans could learn from your great example!”

“I’m sorry you feel that compassion is something worth mocking.” Whoa—I was almost taken aback. For just a second, I saw something flash across his eyes—I wasn’t sure how to describe it, but the closest I could get was “doubt”. Like he was genuinely shocked to hear me doubling down on advocating for compassion—I just said it automatically because he was pissing me off with his barrage of sarcasm... Maybe that’s how I’d be able to get through to him—with unrelenting compassion like his unrelenting cheesy friendship speeches our first time around. It’s not like I was doing anything special besides following my convictions the second time, and apparently that was enough for this guy to fall in love with me...

“Haha...” Eito’s eyes were closed behind his glasses. “You really are a fascinating person, Takumi. It’s too bad that you’re a filthy human.”

‘Vwaah! Vwaah!’

“Whoa!” I whipped over my shoulder at the red lights blaring in the peaceful courtyard—are you shitting me?! “Damnit...” I should’ve been expecting the alarm—

“Oh, dear—looks like you all have to fight while I sit here comfortably in my cage!”

‘Intruder alert. Intruder alert. Unauthorized personnel detected on school grounds.’

I ran out of there, my heart pounding in my ears.

“—don’t die, Takumi! I’ll be very upset if you do...” Eito’s voice faded behind me.

The first person I ran into in the hallway was Hiruko. “Hiruko!” I stopped short, almost losing my balance. “—I need to run something by you.” I licked my lips. It was a huge gamble, but—it seemed like the best bet at this stage. “It’s important—we need to let this Commander go, so he can send a message back to the others.”

Her eyes narrowed predictably. “Are you out of your mind? Why would we do that?”

“He’s not just some grunt—he’s the son of their previous Supreme Commander. Agh, it’s a lot to explain—maybe we should discuss it in the War Room.” No, shit—I can’t discuss this with the others in front of Sirei. But—Hiruko was the “least merciful” one last time, so as long as she was behind this plan, it’s not like the others would jump at the chance to execute someone begging for their life... “The short version is—it’s worth a shot trying to convince their previous leader to leave us alone. V’ehxness, the new Supreme Commander I told you about—they’re at odds with each other, he’s not loyal to her at all—but if we kill his son, he’s sure to come after us.” That wasn’t quite true—Dahl’xia was an old warrior looking for his place to die, like a samurai following his Lord into death... So he’d probably seek us out regardless of Murvrum’s fate. “If there’s a chance of breaking their chain of command—we need to take it.”

She pushed her glasses up. “And this is knowledge you gleaned from your previous timeline?”

“Yes—well...” I couldn’t help but bow in apology. “Actually—I returned twice. I’ve been waiting for the right time to tell everyone—the me who stopped Eito our second day only returned once. I just came back again a few days ago, for a third time—that’s how I know the previous Supreme Commander even exists at all, he never even showed up the first time. He was still locked up after V’ehxness ousted him...” I was almost out of breath, getting that all out in one go...

“... I see.” She merely turned away from me. “Well—if you truly believe that is the best course of action, I’ll follow it... Leader.” She just accepted it like that?

I quickly followed after her. “—thank you... Hiruko.”

She stopped before the War Room doors. “I merely want to survive this ordeal.” Then she got a terrifying smile. “Killing as many invaders as I can is just a side-bonus.” Ugh... she wouldn’t be an easy one to convince. But, well—since she respected decisiveness and skill above all else, maybe that would be all it took for her to listen...

Before long, everyone had gathered in the War Room. Even though everyone had already agreed to fight, some of the others like Tsubasa still looked apprehensive.

“Hey, Tsubasa—we’ll be fine out there.” Takemaru surprised me by speaking up first. “Heh—you an’ me are the fastest ones on the whole team, so you can just stick by me ‘til you get your bearings.” He grinned confidently, punching his palm. Wow—that was pretty sweet, even in these circumstances.

“Well...” Tsubasa was clutching her arm and looking to the side, then she finally peered up at him. “Okay—I’ll follow you until I get more comfortable with my hemoanima.” She clenched her fists like she was pumping herself up. “Oh—but if any of you all need a boost, just give me a shout and I’ll whip right over! I’m serious!”

“Heh—that’s the spirit! You get ‘em, girl!”

“Wow!” Kako’s eyes were sparkling. “The girls here are all so awesome—I can’t decide if I want to be like Tsubasa, or Hiruko, or Darumi!” Um... Well...

“Hmm...” Darumi tapped her lips. “The ‘little sister’ type... I never considered that before. Kyohoho—think of the possibilities!” She was practically drooling... I wasn’t sure in what context she meant that, and I wasn’t exactly sure I wanted to know…

Ima had a dark look in his eye. “None of these ‘awesome girls’ had better get any bright ideas about my Sister Dearest.” Hoo, boy...

“Look alive, troops!” Sirei raised his cane, pointing at the monitor. “The invader is that dragon-looking Commander from last time—he can’t have recovered that much from the last time you gave him a whoopin’, so just keep up the assault and victory is within your grasp!” He winked. “And remember, we have a souped-up Sumino on our side now! I’d like to see any of those vile invaders break through our front line, hoho!”

I gazed down at the Infuser in my hand, the weight of it feeling heavier in my palm. Since I didn’t have time to level with everyone else beforehand... this is the best I can do.

“Hey, guys...” I gripped the blade handle. “I might say some off-the-wall things in this battle—but just go with it, okay? I promise I’ll explain myself later...” They were all peering at me curiously, but I had to just leave it at that. Now it was time for a little white lie... “Sirei—I’m going to be lulling the enemy into a false sense of security. Just don’t interrupt me until I’m finished.”

“‘Psychological warfare’, eh, Sumino?” Sirei rubbed his non-existent chin. “Well, how about a rousing speech for your comrades as a warm-up?!” He winked. Well... I certainly don’t mind, but I wish he hadn’t prompted me like that... Well, whatever.

I looked between all their faces. “Everyone—this will be a defensive battle for gauging the enemy’s strength. Just focus on keeping yourselves alive and making sure nothing gets past the barrier—I know you all can do it.” I looked in each and every person’s eyes, trying to convey the memories I had with them. “I know from your perspective, we haven’t been together very long—but each of you is a comrade I trusted with my life, so let’s all stick together and do this.”

“Whoo-hoo!” Sirei jumped for joy, little bits of confetti flying out of nowhere. Whoa—Takemaru wiped his eyes under his sunglasses, I hope no one else saw. Maybe I conveyed a little too much emotion, sorry about that... “All right—let’s get down there and show ‘em what for!”

百

I gazed out at the wall of “invaders” toddling towards the building—those piteous little creatures that had been turned into mindless fighting machines against their will. I still don’t even know how V’ehxness managed to do it... maybe some kind of “dark alchemy”, I was honestly still vague on the Futurans’ level of technology...

I readied my blade. Yugamu taught me something when he told me about a particular job that stuck with him—sometimes, there was mercy in killing. That’s what I decided when I thought the most humane thing would be to release Eva from her suffering and let her rest, after what Sirei had done to her… so to these creatures, the most merciful thing I could do was put them out of their misery.

“Here they come!”

百

At last, he showed himself.

The young Commander came strolling up, looking no more worse for wear than when we last fought. I had been keeping an eye on the surrounding buildings, anywhere that V’ehxness might be observing from a distance—but I didn’t see her. That at least settled my nerves—for some reason, I felt confident that she really wasn’t here—with all the cryptoglobin swirling inside me, it was like I could “sense” them stronger than before. Her aura would’ve been unmistakable...

He stopped a track field’s length away from us. “I will not run this time... Hear me, invaders! I am Murvrum, Paragon of Order!”

“Whoa—we can hear him!”

“Yeah—you should all be able to, now.” I kept my hand on my swordhilt, but hadn’t drawn it yet.

“Um... did he just call us the ‘invaders’?” So, things were going that direction, after all...

“I’m done running away...” He sounded so young, his voice was still wavering just a bit—I’d be shocked if he was older than twenty. “God of the Planet, hear my plea and lend me thy strength!” He slit his throat. “Blood of my bond—release!” Blood sprayed from his neck, twisting and cloaking him in armored scales—his skeletal wings billowed widely as he pulsed his massive claws. “All of you… stand aside! If you don’t—in the name of Order, I shall strike you down!” He sounded so desperate—

I put my arm out to the side, signaling for the others to hold. This would be my only shot—the Futurans had an “old-world” way of speaking so—I just had to go for it. Hoo—just pretend I’m in an RPG, this would be fine...

I stepped forward. “Murvrum, Son of Dahl’xia! I beseech you—lay down your arms!” I just barely stopped myself from saying, “I beseech thee”... I hope that wasn’t too much.

“Hn?!” He actually seemed taken aback, his serpentine head bobbing. “—you invaders speak our language?!”

“Yes—I understand you perfectly! And we are not the Children of the Stars who started this war!” I could feel the others looking at me with mouths agape—I just put the final nail in the coffin resolving myself to explain everything.

“Hngh—it matters not!” His multiple wing-like arms pulsed, glowing with unknown energy. “This war was started by your kind before I was born—and I shall be the one to finish it!”

“Very well—if you are the son of the great warrior Dahl’xia, perhaps you can only understand our conviction through combat!” I readied my blade.

“Mrgh—” He let out a frustrated cry, which echoed across the battlefield. “—you know nothing!!” With that, he swooped up into the air, diving like a bird of prey...

“Ah, Takumi!! He didn’t listen to you!”

“How are we supposed to fight that?!”

“Don’t worry...” I watched his draconic form carefully, looking for an opening—“You heard the hesitance in his voice—we just have to hold out against him.” I could only imagine what was going on with Sirei listening in, but I didn’t care. I had my own orders to follow...

I struck a shockwave up into the air, knocking him off his trajectory mid-flight—his clawed feet dug into the earth as he slid back, reassessing the battlefield from a distance. He must’ve been shaken that I managed to knock him out of the air like that—he’d probably only get desperate and make careless mistakes from here.

A glowing laser was gathering energy at his gaping mouth—“Look out!” Red light razed the ground in front of us, the others barely managing to get out of the way—Tsubasa went around picking up as many people as she could before rushing towards Murvrum, with Takemaru leading the way. After making sure everyone was okay and back on their feet, I charged towards him myself...

Objectively-speaking, Murvrum didn’t pose much of a challenge—I could see now what Dahl’xia meant when he said he was “inexperienced.” He hit hard with his tail and claws, but he made a lot of all-out attacks without taking his stamina into consideration, leaving himself wide open for a counterattack. He tried to take off from the ground a few times to break out of our surrounding formation, but I knocked him back with an air blade every time, and the others with ranged weapons were ready to hit him on the rebound. He wasn’t quite as tough as Dahl’xia, but his hard exoskeleton was no joke... I knew we wouldn’t accidentally kill him, at least.

Eventually, I pushed him back with a sweep of my sword, and he was weakened enough to melt out of his transformation—“Kh—” He staggered back, clutching his injured arm. “—you children, how are you so strong?!”

“As I’ve told you, we have no desire to take your life.” I made the decision to sheathe my sword as I approached him.

“...?!” He was taken aback, but didn’t drop his defensive stance. “How is it that you can understand me... Why can you use our power?!”

“Um... ‘your’ power?” Tsubasa had stepped up hesitantly behind me, with Takemaru right next to her.

“You sure it’s a good idea to put your sword away, Takumi?” He fervently whispered at me.

“Yeah—he’s not able to fight back.” I took another half-step towards Murvrum, and he didn’t shrink back. “Since we can understand each other—I want to talk to you.”

“Sweet—killing is sooo much better when the victims can grovel and plead for their lives!”

“Darumi—please.” I put a hand out. “No one else interfere—just trust me.”

“Sumino—you better know what the hell you’re doing, soldier!” I heard Sirei barking in my ear... “This is your enemy—showing mercy won’t win you the war!”

“I know what I’m doing.” I took a final step towards Murvrum, and he finally faced me. He was still pressing his hand over a wound on his arm. I suppose there was no avoiding that... “I know that it’s a sacred gesture for your people to remove your mask when showing trust, but—I won’t ask you to do that.” I held out my hand. “This is the gesture of peace from our culture—I believe it originated from showing your opponent that your sword-hand was empty.”

Even with his elaborate mask, I could tell he was peering down at my hand. “How could an invader offer a gesture of peace?! Have you no shame?”

“As I’ve said, we are not among those who’ve antagonized your people.” I kept my hand firm. “And if it means ending this war, then no—I suppose I don’t have any shame.”

He stared down at my hand, the red eyeshields of his mask completely opaque and impenetrable. “You say you know of my father...” His fist clenched. “Dahl’xia, the Paragon of Warfare—has been imprisoned by that woman. When she defeated him and took his place as Supreme Commander, she locked him away underground—even I am powerless to do anything...!” It sounded like he grit his teeth in frustration.

“So—you’re not a supporter of V’ehxness?”

“You even know the name of our Supreme Commander?”

“Yes—I received a divine oracle concerning you and your people.” It wasn’t exactly a lie... “That’s why I don’t want to fight you.” For all I knew, Sirei was chomping at the bit to detonate my bomb and shut me up, making an example out of me—but I had one last card up my sleeve. “Since the Second Coming is with us, we have no desire to prolong this war.” I knew the others would have no idea what I was talking about either way, but I made sure to phrase it in a way where Sirei could interpret it that I was threatening them...

“The Second Coming...!” Blood dripped from his elbow, plopping down in the dirt.

I turned over my shoulder. “Tsubasa—do you have a towel or a cloth we can use to dress his wound?”

“Oh! Well, I’m sure I have a rag...” She dug around in her uniform. “Um—it’s pretty greasy, though, so it’s not exactly sanitary... I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right—what about anyone else?”

“U-um...” Shouma produced something from his backpack, presenting it like it was a sacred treasure, his head deeply bowed. He had undone his Class Armor... “I have a hankie—oh, it’s clean, but... anything from a reeking sweat stain like me is probably tainted, anyway...”

“Thanks, Shouma—I’m sure it’s fine.” I tried to give him a smile as I took the hanky, but he wasn’t looking up at me. “Here...” I offered the small square cloth to Murvrum.

He inspected it in my hand for a moment, then took it, quickly wrapping it around his wound with one hand.

“… That I, one of God’s chosen champions, has suffered the humiliation of being spared by my enemy...” He pressed the handkerchief tight with his palm. “This sacred power comes from the God of this planet... So, why do you have it?”

“Perhaps our people are not so different, after all.”

“Kh...!” I could see his shoulders trembling. Whether it was from his injuries, or if he was shocked by the revelation that we were as sentient and capable of compassion as his own people... I couldn’t say.

“Do you have the strength to leave under your own power?”

“... What?!”

If we took him prisoner, who knows what Sirei would do to him... Plus, if what he said was true and Dahl’xia was still locked underground, V’ehxness would only deploy him in the war once she got desperate, or after all the other Commanders’ deaths. Murvrum was our best bet to getting him released or busted out of there. Even though he had an old warrior’s pride... I had a feeling that Dahl’xia would at least be willing to listen to us.

“Go.” I thrust my hand out towards the horizon. “If you and the honorable Dahl’xia wish to oppose the dictator V’ehxness—we will stand with you!”

“...!”

“Even if you still consider us enemies—the enemy of my enemy is my ally!”

“...” He was clutching his hand around his wrapped wound. “What do you know of our land and our ways...?”

“We know that your people want this war to end. That’s all that we want, too.” I knew I was pushing it—Sirei wouldn’t just take this sitting down, but I knew just how to swing it when he confronted me.

Murvrum was looking at me... At least, I thought he was, behind his mask. I tried to convey that I was serious in my eyes—I just hoped he could see it.

“... Very well.” He took a step back. “There are those who yet oppose the dictator...” He swiped his own neck, blood swirling all around him. Skeletal wings burst out of the cloud of blood, and Murvrum took to the skies. “I shall remember your words, young one!” He beat his wings, sailing right over the wall of fire as the flames jumped up around him.

I watched him go, the setting sun dyeing the horizon orange. I hope that was the right thing to do... I’m through having regrets.

“... Well, I’ve done as you asked.” Hiruko crossed her arms. “The Commander is free to live another day... Care to explain what all of those ‘off-the-wall’ things you were saying meant, Leader?”

“I’ll explain it all when we get back—I promise.” I kept watching Murvrum as his silhouette got smaller and smaller. “As long as Sirei doesn’t blow up my bomb to try and stop me, that is...”

百

“You better have a good explanation for that little stunt, Sumino.” Sirei’s eyes were shadowed under his bucket hat.

“I do.”

Sirei waited, but I didn’t elaborate. “Care to share your thoughts with your commanding officer, soldier?”

“Actually, Sirei... I have a question for you.” I looked right into his cloudy little eyes. “Ask the ‘Will of Humanity’... Would they really be able to live in peace, knowing that their new home was built on the back of genocide?”

The War Room was deathly silent.

“Hoo.” Sirei tapped his cane to the top of the desk, resting both hands on the decorative handle. “You drive a hard bargain, Sumino. I wonder just how you were able to glean so much confidential information about this mission...” He closed his eyes. “Hmm... Very well. I’ll consult with the top brass.” He actually winked at me. “It’s a fair question, after all—one very vital to the continued survival of the human species!” He gave a thumbs-up. “All right, kiddos—be good while I’m gone! If you see Nigou and the other kids from Second-to-Last before I get back, give ‘em my regards!” And he sprinted away like a little gnome. I was actually kind of shocked how easy that was... I guess I managed to exploit a technicality in his programming.

Poor Tsubasa looked absolutely exhausted. “Um... that was a lot to take in.”

“My brain feels like a fried egg...” Gaku exhaled laboriously. “This is my brain on drugs...”

Hiruko pushed up her glasses. “... Perhaps it would be best for us all to rest for now, and our leader can inform us of what just transpired in the morning.” She gave me a sharp look. “I’m sure you’re exhausted as well.”

“Yeah—that sounds like a good plan.” I looked between everyone, suddenly feeling sheepish. “Sorry, guys—I promise I’ll explain everything. Just give me a bit to get all my thoughts in order.”

“Okay... We trust you, Takumi.”

“Uh oh...” Darumi looked like her batteries ran out. “You said it now—‘I’ll explain everything’ means ‘I’m gonna get killed next to keep the audience in suspense.’”

“I can promise you, that’s not going to happen.” Ugh—poor Hiruko, I’ll never let anything like that happen again. “At any rate—good job on your first real battle, guys.” I tried to smile, even though I felt conflicted. “Let’s all celebrate our great teamwork tomorrow—for now, you guys deserve a good rest.”

“Yeah!” Takemaru clapped Gaku on the shoulder. “You guys really held your own, even though you were shakin’ in your boots about fightin’ the first day.”

“Who’s shaking?!” Gaku didn’t even have the energy to rebuff him.

“Um... Thank you for loaning us your hanky, Shouma...” Tsubasa tried to sound cheery, despite her clear exhaustion. “Hopefully that Commander comes back with good news for us, and you can get it back!”

“Ohh... It’d be better just to burn it... Surely that hanky would be cursed coming into my pathetic possession twice...”

“Hey—let’s not forget the real star of the show!” Ima gave a thumbs-up, winking at me. “My darling sister!”

“Right—you were pretty cool out there, Kako! I don’t think I could stop myself from shaking if I wasn’t hidden away in my ride...”

She tucked her hair behind her ear shyly. “Thank you... I’ll try my best next time, too!”

Eventually, everyone succumbed to their exhaustion and murmured their goodnights, slinking off to their rooms up on the roof. I lingered in the War Room for a bit, listening to the hum of all the computers and high-tech equipment, watching the monitors to make sure nothing else appeared. I know I did the right thing...

百

I already felt dead on my feet, but I needed this taken care of before Sirei finished consulting with the “Will of Humanity”.

“Shion?” I stood outside the Defense Room doors, the flames licking across the thick metal doors. “Can I speak with you for a bit? There’s something I want to ask you...”

He appeared just outside the doors in a swirl of flame. “... Hello again, Takumi.” He had a small smile. “I’m sorry I haven’t come to see you lately... Sirei told me I shouldn’t burn through my power recklessly.”

“I understand.” I smiled, even though my whole face felt tired. “Actually—I wanted to ask you something about Sirei. I won’t take up much of your time—I probably wouldn’t be a good conversation partner right now, anyway...” I laughed a bit.

“Are you all right?” His wispy eyebrows knit in concern. I wonder if he’s really making those expressions in his pod, and that’s how they appear on his avatar... “You do look tired—I know I’m not able to help, but I watched the battle a little to make sure everyone was all right...”

“Really?” That was sweet—I didn’t want Shion to have to hide away in the Defense Room for much longer, he deserved to be able to do more than just watch us from a distance... “Thank you... I’m fine, just exhausted. If you were watching our battle, you’re probably confused why I let that Commander go...”

“Well... I trust your judgment.” His eyes closed in a smile. “I’m sure you have a good reason for every decision you make—especially if this is your third time making them, haha...” He actually laughed—I didn’t hear him do that much before.

I couldn’t help but smile. “Well... I’m glad to hear you say that.” Well—here goes nothing. “Shion—I want to tell you my intentions with this war.” I looked right in his eyes. “Even if it’s naïve of me to think I can do it, I want to put a stop to the fighting and make peace with the people here.”

“I see.” He put his hand over his heart. “That’s a noble goal... I hope the people will listen to you.”

He accepted it, just like that... “Do you really understand what I mean?”

He was quiet for a second. “I’m not able to live outside of my pod... my power would just burn my body up into ash.” He had a sad smile. “I thought that... being useful would give my life purpose, as producing the Undying Flames is the only thing I can do...” His avatar looked troubled... “But... if you’re asking me what I want to choose for myself, I... I don’t want to use my power to kill...” He sounded like he was about to cry—

“—it’s all right.” I reached for his hands without thinking.

“—ah, be careful!” His ghost shot back, the flames flickering around him.

“Oh—I forgot. Haha...” I laughed a bit awkwardly. “Shion—it’s all right. In my timeline, you were able to control your flames so you could spend time with us... it felt pretty nice, actually, like a comforting fire...” I held out my hands, palm-up. “Go ahead and try it...”

Slowly, he floated back towards me, and held out his hands... “... Like this?” He laid his hands on mine, although he couldn’t actually touch me.

“Yeah—just like that.” I did my best to make it look like I was holding his transparent hands, the warm flames twisting all around my arms. “Shion... You don’t have to use your power to kill. You can choose how you want to use your power. It’s yours.”

“... oh.” One of his eyes scrunched closed. “Ah, ow...”

“Are you okay?”

“Yes... Haha...” He suddenly looked embarrassed. “... I must be crying in my pod. It stings my eyes a little...”

Imagining that baby, crying all alone in his pod in that big empty room, with no one to comfort him...

I wiped my eyes with my sleeve. “Sorry... haha...”

“Oh—it’s all right...” Poor Shion was at a loss for what to do...

I sniffed, wiping my eye with my wrist. “Geez...” I took another minute to compose myself, while Shion hovered his flame-cloaked hand near mine as if he was holding it...

百

I felt a little bad even bringing this up to him, but... here goes. “Shion... I wanted to let you know that Sirei’s going to be busy for the night, and there’s something I need to do before he gets back.”

“I see... And what is it?”

“Well... I know this might be hard for you to accept, since I know Sirei’s important to you... But I can’t agree with everything he’s done. Some of it is downright unethical.”

His face fell. “Oh... I see.” He hovered a bit closer to the ground. “Can I ask, what things specifically?”

“... There’s a machine somewhere in the Infirmary that Sirei was using to brainwash us and keep us in line. I’ve seen him use it myself—it’s horrific, it can even completely change someone’s personality.”

“... I see.” It might’ve just been the light, but it looked like his flames dulled. “That’s awful... I can’t say I’d agree with that, either.”

“I’m glad you think so, too—that’s why I’m going to destroy that machine.”

“If that’s what you’ve decided, I’ll support you.” He nodded, but then his eyes fell to the side. “Although it’s difficult for me to accept that Sirei would do something like that...” He was probably feeling conflicted—it must’ve been so lonely for him all those years, and he was grateful for any company at all—it must be hard to accept that Sirei was just using him, too... “I don’t want you all to lose yourselves, even if Sirei thinks he’s helping you...”

“... Do you mind if I ask for your help?”

“My help?” His mismatched eyes widened just a bit. “Well... if there’s something I can do.” Whew...

“Thanks, Shion—I know the machine is somewhere in the Infirmary, but it’s tucked away behind a panel in the ceiling.” I still kept my voice down, even though I knew Sirei would be busy running his “calculations”. “I wanted to ask if you could float around and find out exactly where it is... If you find it, you could probably even melt it yourself with your flames.”

“I see...” He contemplated it for a second. “If I’m the one who destroyed the machine, Sirei couldn’t retaliate against me.”

“Exactly. Oh...” I smiled a bit sheepishly. “But I don’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with, especially if it defies Sirei—I just wanted you to know that I have a good reason for doing what I’m doing.”

“I understand.” Shion smiled gently. “You don’t need to worry about that, Takumi.” He rested his hand over his heart. “You know how when we’re speaking like this, it’s more like my hemoanima is communicating with yours?”

“Yeah?”

“Well... It’s hard to explain, but it’s almost like I can ‘feel’ your intentions.” His eyes scrunched in a genuine smile. “So I know that you asked me because you feel it’s the right thing to do. I know you don’t have any manipulative intentions. So please, don’t worry about that.”

“Whew—well, that’s a relief...”

“Haha... I’m happy to help you out. There’s no reason a machine like that needs to be here... Should we go right now?”

“Oh—we can, if you’re able to?”

“Yes.” His avatar floated up off the ground. “I’ve been conserving my energy for the past few days.”

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Shion phased up through the ceiling of the eerie Infirmary…

‘Hsss!’

I heard a loud pop, and the panel in the ceiling warped as if a great pressure built up and shot out of it. Shion floated back down through the ceiling. “It’s done... I just hope there isn’t a backup machine that you weren’t aware of...”

“I don’t think so—but if I suddenly start acting strange, then I guess that means you should poke around a little more...”

“I certainly hope it doesn’t come to that.”

With our business done surprisingly quickly, we left the Infirmary and I walked him back to the Defense Room. Oh—I guess I didn’t really need to do that, but for some reason it felt right. “Thanks, Shion—I know that took a lot of courage for you to do.” I looked him right in the eyes. “I just want you to know you have more bargaining power over Sirei than you realize. His programming wouldn’t allow him to do anything to you, since you’re ‘crucial’ to the mission...” I smiled. “And, even if you refused to cooperate—I’m sure he’d never do anything to you because of his own feelings.” Ugh—saying that made me conflicted. Sirei was capable of some pretty horrific stuff—or rather, his programming made him prioritize the mission success above all else, and no tactic was beneath that end. But... was it the “Will of Humanity” and his programming that made him look after Shion, or was there something else to him? I never really got an answer to that... in that hallucination of a cliché school life visual novel, “Mr. Sirei” looked like a blonde middle-aged man with coiffed hair... hmm. I suppose anything is possible, at this point...

“Hmm...” Shion hovered in front of the burning doors. “You’re probably right about that.” He had a small smile.

Oh—I was forgetting the most important thing I wanted to talk to him about. “Shion—I’m going to go get the others soon. There’s a few more students at Second-to-Last Defense Academy… once we’re all here, I want to introduce you to everyone.”

“Oh!” His mismatched eyes went wide. “Well... I’d certainly like that...” He smiled shyly. “Um... is there anything I should do...?”

“No.” I smiled. “Just be yourself—I’m sure everyone will want to meet you.”

“I see... ah.” His eye scrunched. “Oh—don’t worry. It’s a happy tear this time. Haha...” His eyes closed in a true smile.

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It was already dark when I walked out into the courtyard. Eito was quietly drinking tea, sitting on the edge of his bed. He looked up as I got closer.

“Ah—good evening, Takumi. I’m glad you’re still in one piece—I apologize I’m not able to offer you some tea.”

I stopped in front of the bars. Even if it blows up in my face and makes me look like a fool—I’m tired of having regrets.

“If I bring you a lamp, would you still want to read that book?”

He gave me a small smile, setting down his earthenware cup.

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“‘Often, during my association with Sensei, I found myself disappointed in this way. Sometimes, Sensei seemed to know that I had been hurt, and sometimes, he seemed not to know.’” He did have a good cadence while reading—like he was intimately familiar with the material, and knew just where to pause, and which words to emphasize. “‘But no matter how often I experienced such trifling disappointments, I never felt any desire to part from Sensei. Indeed, each time that I suffered a rebuff, I wished more than ever to push our friendship further.’” The tinkling sound of the fountain stood out even more in the quiet of the night, but I didn’t mind it—it was almost meditative. “‘I did not understand why it was that I should behave this way only towards Sensei. But now that Sensei is dead, I am beginning to understand.’” He turned the page, the paper snapping softly. Eito did have long, slender fingers, I never really noticed before… “‘It was not that Sensei disliked me at first. His curt and cold ways were not designed to express his dislike of me—they were meant rather as a warning to me that I would not want him as a friend... It was because he despised himself that he refused to accept openheartedly the intimacy of others... I felt great pity for him.’” He closed his eyes, resting his hand on the book. “Takumi... Why did you recommend this book to me?”

“What?” I actually forgot I was there for a second—I was just zoning out like I was listening to an audiobook. “Um, well... I don’t know.” I couldn’t just say why out loud—what kind of question was that? “... I just thought it might resonate with you, that’s all.” My voice was so soft, it barely came out at all... it seemed against the theme of the book to be dishonest now, or obfuscate how I was feeling...

“I see.” He set the bookmark, closing the book. He was gazing out at nothing, I couldn’t see his eyes from this angle. The battery-powered lamp outside the bars was casting long shadows on either side of his nose. “This ‘Future Me’ you keep talking about... Was this a dying promise that you made?”

“... It was.”

He had a thousand-yard stare, even in profile. “How did I die?”

I relaxed my back against the bars. “You were killed trying to stop a weapon of mass destruction from firing.”

“... Why would I do that?”

I gazed up at the stars projected onto the ceiling. “We all decided it was the right thing to do.”

The fountain murmured in the corner of the courtyard.

“... I see.”

Other than the fountain, the whole school was quiet. Peaceful... I guess it would be much less enjoyable if you were stuck in a cage the whole time.

“... What were my last words? Did I have any?”

I couldn’t help but smirk. “You’ll be embarrassed if I tell you.” Eito was quiet. “... You asked if you could see my face, then after you touched my cheek you said, ‘Ah... So that’s what you look like.’” I scrunched in my legs, hugging my knees. “Then you apologized for not being able to keep your promise—your promise to try to understand us... I said I’d never let you off the hook for that promise, even if I had to hunt you down in the next life. And I’d be holding up my end, too.” It actually wasn’t as cold out here as I was expecting—well, we were technically still indoors. “Then, you said... ‘You know, Takumi—from the bottom of my heart, I’ve always loathed, envied, despised... and deeply loved you.’” I clasped my fingers together. “Those were your last words before you died.”

I kind of wished there were crickets or something in the courtyard—the ambience was just missing something.

“... I see.”

I reached into the inner pocket of my jacket, pulling out my most prized possession in this cursed place. “... Here. Just be careful with it—that’s the only copy.” It literally traveled through time with me...

I slipped the Polaroid Gaku took at the bonfire through the bars, and Eito took it carefully by the corner.

I didn’t watch him while he looked at it—I stayed facing the courtyard with my back rested against the bars.

“... Why am I wearing these dark glasses?”

“... You gouged your own eyes out so you could stand being around us.”

His silence was palpable.

“... You told us you even burned out the mucus membranes in your nose. But they kept growing back, so you had to keep doing it...”

The photo slipped back through the bars. “... I see.”

I carefully took the Polaroid back, gazing down at it. Darumi, Kyoshika, and Kurara weren’t in it...

“What is that purple-ish shape? Is it just a shadow on the film?”

“No... That’s the person we gave our lives to protect. His name is Shion.”

“Shion? Is he not one of the people already here?”

“He’s here... Can’t you see him?” I turned the Polaroid so he could see it through the bars.

He adjusted his glasses, squinting at the small photo. “... Not really.”

“Interesting.” I gazed at everyone’s faces for a few more seconds, then tucked the photo safely away in my pocket.

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“‘At times, Sensei seemed so quiet that I thought him rather lonely. I felt from the start his strangely unapproachable quality. Yet, at the same time, there was within me an irresistible desire to become close to Sensei.’” He turned the page with his slender fingers. “‘Perhaps I was the only one who felt that way towards him. Some might say that I was being foolish and naïve. But even now, I feel a certain pride and happiness in the fact that my intuitive fondness for Sensei was later shown to have not been in vain. He was a man capable of love—or I should say, rather, a man who was by nature incapable of not loving—but he was a man who could not wholeheartedly accept the love of another. Such a person was Sensei.’” Uh... I don’t remember this book exactly being like that... this guy really liked Sensei. Well, I’m sure that wasn’t the intended reading... But I’m surprised Eito can read something so heartfelt and vulnerable with a straight face. “Oh—what’s the matter, Takumi?”

“What? Oh... nothing.” I rolled my shoulders back against the bars. “... I just wonder if I’m reading too much into it, picking up on subtext that isn’t there.”

“Oh? What kind of subtext, exactly?”

“... Are you being obtuse on purpose?”

“Haha... I’m not. Let’s discuss it, Takumi—I’m curious what you think!” He didn’t sound like he was just being sarcastic...

“Haah... Nevermind.” I let my eyes close. Listening to the fountain and Eito’s even reading voice was surprisingly relaxing...

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“Takumi.”

“Hn?!” I jerked awake when my shoulder was tapped. “... oh, geez—did I fall asleep?”

“Haha, you did...”

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“Up and at ‘em, troops! It’s time to rise and shine!”

“Hrrnnn...” I rubbed my eye, refusing to acknowledge that damn repetitive message for the umpteenth time—I should just ask Tsubasa if she can disable it.

“Hrmm...” Even Eito groaned, practically burying his face in my chest. “... If it wasn’t the same every time, that’d be one thing...”

I snickered, reaching up to run my fingers through his silky hair, still stubbornly refusing to open my eyes all the way. “Right—like that one time he put a little pizazz on it and sang out the numbers...”

“Haha... Which day was that? I can hardly remember...”

“I think it was eighty-eight... ‘Get ready, for your eighty-eighth day~ Of active service here~ At Last Defense Academyyy~!’”

He laughed lightly, snuggling closer to me under the blankets... he even did that move where he crossed one of his long legs over mine, he really didn’t want to let me go—geez, for being a “big spoon” this guy could sure be clingy...

I could just barely see the top half of his face from this angle. His cheek was pressed flat against my chest, and I could feel the little puff of breath from his nose tickling me when he breathed. I don’t want to get up, either...

“Oh—Takumi...” His sleepy voice was still a little bit raspy. “Do you know what ‘like a lizard on a chair’ means?”

“I have no idea—he said that on day fifty, right?”

“I believe so... ‘You’re halfway there, like a lizard on a chair’...”

“Who knows—it’s probably a song or something he can’t say because of copyright.”

“Haha... Well, who’s left to collect the royalties on that?”

I ran my short nails through the ends of his hair. “I guess you’re right about that...”

A beam of sunlight was softly filtering through the skylight in my room. Just about the only thing that could get me up and out of this bed right now is some Oosuzuki curry... it isn’t too heavy for breakfast, I don’t know what the others are talking about...

I couldn’t trick my body into thinking I wasn’t awake anymore, just staring straight up at the ceiling... I wanted to ask, just seeing his face so close to me always made me worry about it, but—I know it was kind of a sore topic. Haah... It would make me feel better just to ask. “How’s your nose?”

I heard him sigh softly. “You can stop asking, Takumi—I told you I’d tell you if I have any complications. The scar tissue is forming nicely, so I shouldn’t have to keep up with it as much.” “Keep up with it”... he said it with the same casual tone as changing the oil in your car. “I’m not reproaching you for asking...” He finally reluctantly pushed himself up on his arms. He always looked so different with his hair a little disheveled, and without his glasses... “I know you only ask out of concern... But I’d like it if you wouldn’t worry so much.” He gently brushed my bangs aside, the tips of his fingers ghosting my forehead just a bit.

“Well...” I got a little tingle from just barely being touched like that. “I can’t promise to stop worrying—but I can at least try not to ask anymore...”

He smiled tiredly. “I think that’s a fair compromise.” He was touching my hair some more, brushing his fingers around the curve of my ear... I let my eyes close when he leaned in, nice and soft...

This guy was still... I wasn’t trying to be mean, but he was a clumsy kisser... but I even found that kind of cute. It’s not like I was this fountain of knowledge and experience either, so I had no room to criticize in that area...

“Mn...” That was a little embarrassing—I didn’t mean to make a noise like that... Well, whatever, it was just the two of us, it’s not like Sirei was watching—heugh. What a horrible thought...

“Haha... What is it?” His breath was tickling my face.

“Ugh—I just thought, ‘It’s not like Sirei’s watching us... right?’”

“Oh, dear.” He finally pulled away, giving me a tired smile with small shadows under his eyes. “Well—I certainly hope not.” Wha—his eyes?! Why were his eyes there—who are you?! “... Takumi? Are you okay?”

“Get ready for your millionth day of active service here at Last Defense Academy! Be prepared to stay here forever, and ever, and ever, and ever and ever and ever and—” What the fu—

“Up and at ‘em, troops! It’s time to rise and shine!”

My eyes shot open—“Hn?!” I bolted up in bed, whipping my head all around in a panic—it took a second for my fuzzy vision to adjust, but I was alone, in my room... My heart was pounding in my chest...

“Get ready for your eighth day of active service here at Last Defense Academy!”

“Oh my God...” I collapsed back in my bed, my heart still beating fast… What the fuck... why’d I have to have a dream like that...

I pressed the heels of my palms into my eyes—damnit. Shit—it wasn’t fair... Everything was supposed to work out this time around, but if you’re not here—how am I supposed to keep my promise?

“Kh—” I grit my teeth, trying to will away the tears that were threatening to well up...

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:’(

With the chapter titles, and even the main title itself, I like to have a double-meaning and some ambiguity for who the words are relevant to. There’s an opening song in Silent Hill 3 called “You’re Not Here”—some of the lyrics are, “So now, what should I do?/I’m strung out, addicted to you/My body aches, now that you’re gone/My supply fell through...” It’s very Eito-coded lol, blaming the other person for the fact that you’re obsessed with them...

It’ll be okay, Takumi—“Who has time for tears?”

Also def read Kokoro if you were intrigued at all by the small snippets, it’s actually not that long :) I cut some lines and changed some words around from the official English translation, because I wasn’t sure if AO3 would automatically flag it or something lol, even though it’s obvious in context it’s just someone reading it as a quote.

[Edit from the Future—as of the original upload of this chapter, I still hadn’t ventured over to the “Kill Eito” side of the flowchart at all, hence the comments urging me to do so lol. Thanks y’all, that fruity Yugamu content really delivered! X’D] So it’s been mentioned a few times that Takumi technically absorbed Eito’s cryptoglobin twice now (and Shion’s, too)—to be honest with y’all, when I first started writing I didn’t even know that was a thing, but now that I’ve seen the “Multiple Eitos” route, it makes sense that those hate-filled versions of Eito that Takumi absorbed only want to torture him, in what I can only describe as homoerotic psychological thriller mind-games XD But since at least one of the Eitos that Takumi sucked up like a Capri Sun didn’t totally hate his guts this time, we’ll see what happens ;)

Good Lord lol—those weird Eito endings are the kind of dark bad ending I want to see, I still felt like the infamous “Living Idol” took it a bit too far T_T As far as the whole “Cult of Takumi” route is concerned, some of the dialogue in “Living Idol” would actually be quite sad and impactful, if it was said in a different context... The context being “consensually” lol. But outside of that, I don’t plan to acknowledge that route directly. Now that the initial shock has worn off though, I can acknowledge that some scenes were quite funny—Gaku’s escalating obsessiveness cornering Takumi in his room making Sirei ‘nyoom’ him away with his drones, Shouma’s VA absolutely selling the absurdity of their Ishimondo-esque sauna battle, and Yugamu doing “that” to himself while Takumi watched—it was pure gold, what can I say XD And I will say that Eito’s VA absolutely killed it sounding apprehensively yet excitedly unhinged. The quiver and nervous cadence that he used to read those creepy-ass lines *chef kiss* I mean, I played Enzai: Falsely Accused back in the day, I’ve read freaking Orc Bride, I’m no stranger to dark r*pe yaoi, but like—that last scene in “Living Idol” was still a flashbang even for me, I can’t believe Kodaka really went there. Seeing Yugamu’s erotic self-surgery only barely made it better X’D But I did enjoy hearing his cool-as-a-cucumber English VA let loose like that—I was seriously peering through my fingers at “iT’s cOminG oUT of MeeEE!!!” in disbelief that it was real X’D

Whew—with all that out of the way, I feel like I got a second wind, girls!! (btw, when I say that I just mean “everyone” lol, regardless of gender identity or lack thereof :) It’s just an expression I picked up from a British YouTuber named Luxeria, she’s always ending her sentences with “girls!!” like, “It’s a scandal, girls!!” lol) Anyway—I’m chugging away at more endings, and I’m determined to see this one through, girls ^_^ Even if it ends up being ungodly long, or I decide to do a sister fic for the bigger endings—I mean my main story here on AO3 is already over 550k words, y’all know I’m good for it X’D Sweet Shion, help me lol

Thanks for reading, see ya next time! ^_^

Chapter Text

Chapter 4 – Licking Each Other’s Wounds

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Day 76 – Second Scenario

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Yugamu was gazing out at the flaming orange sunset, bleeding into a beautiful scarlet pink as it bloomed up from the horizon. It was such a picturesque sight, a guy with such a dark and morbid silhouette like Yugamu contrasted almost comically against it—to someone who didn’t know him well, probably.

I approached the fence, standing next to him. It seemed superficial to ask a question like, “How are you holding up?” After we all endured bombshell after mental bombshell like that... I’m shocked any of us even wanted to go on at all. But... I’m proud of us for not giving into despair, and still wanting to see this thing through to the end.

We just had one final decision... Sirei gave us some time to think it over—after learning that we were all just experimental soldiers made for fighting the Futurans with hemoanima, and all of our memories and each detail of our “lives” were just implanted to give us a reason to fight—did we still want to fight for humanity’s future? Could we side with the people who used us as disposable pawns—or would we throw them away, trying to make the best with what we had on a planet we helped destroy, whose only survivors all hated us?

[A/N: This was the only decision that really had me conflicted the first time. I really wanted to just say fuck ‘em and rebel against humanity, but I thought the “right” thing to do was to still fight for the vast majority of the people on the satellite who were completely innocent, since Futurum itself was kinda fucked at that point. This was the first choice I went back and redid after getting that gut-punch of an ending D’X In a morbid way, what happened with the satellite just gave me that final push to defy Sirei and do what I felt strongly about from the beginning.]

Yugamu and I watched the sky in silence. The sun slowly dipped below the flickering wall of flame, casting up a brilliant watercolor painting in its wake.

“... You know, I’m not upset.” Yugamu stood with his arms folded, with an aura of peaceful resignation like a tired dad. “At first, it was a shock that a vibrant family life such as mine was all fabricated... But, it almost makes sense now, in retrospect. Hehe...” He laughed lightly. “I can’t help but wonder—at which point does ‘stimulus’ end and ‘reaction’ begin?” The Undying Flames flickered and twisted in the distance. “What is merely an implanted memory, and what is our genuine response to it? Are we fed a stimulus, then our reaction dictates the next stimulus fed in? Or is it just one continuous supply, like a feeding tube?” He shrugged, his long nails fanning out. “One could argue that every human alive is just a product of their environment—they’d be completely different if they happened to be born to different parents, into different circumstances, in another part of the world... And of course, that just circles back to the eternal debate over whether humans have souls—or Futurans, for that matter. Ehehe...” He folded his arms. “Well—I suppose there’s no point waxing philosophical at this point.” He snickered to himself. “I wonder if even my predilections were just implanted... I’m feeling a bit like a jellyfish drifting along on the waves... Just who am I, Takumi?”

It felt like he was asking rhetorically, but... “Well—that’s up to you, now.” I took a step towards the fence, letting my shoulder collapse against it. “We’re all free to decide exactly who we are—since none of those memories are real, it’s almost like getting a ‘clean slate’...”

“Hmm... I suppose you’re right about that.” He had a small, contented smile. “I grew to resent my old life of loveless killing, and longed to be free from it... I asked you to go with me when I told my parents I was going to quit, didn’t I? Heh—looks like we just skipped the hard part.”

“Hah... I guess so.”

“Ehehe... I’m almost a little embarrassed. I feel like the edgelord OC inserted into a story that everyone else was trying to take seriously...”

“I don’t think of you that way at all...” I honestly didn’t think Yugamu could get embarrassed about anything.

He kept gazing out at the sunset above the ruined city. “Well—it’s not as if I came up with any of those things myself. But I sure have leaned into it, haven’t I?” His small smile picked up a tinge of melancholy. “... It was a shock that my ‘most important person’ isn’t even real. But, I suppose that just means there isn’t a girl out there longing to be free from her miserable life of killing, either. At least, I hope there isn’t...”

Once again, it felt like he was just asking rhetorically... But I couldn’t think of anything to say this time.

I watched the sun dip behind the dismal scenery over my shoulder. A light breeze blew in through the fence, brushing my hair across my forehead a bit. It felt nice...

“Well, Takumi—the good news is, you just got bumped up to the top of my list.” With a flick of his wrist, he produced a knife, licking the edge of the blade. “What’s say you when this is all over, you and I have an erotic duel to the death? I’ll promise to give you everything I’ve got...”

“Haha...” I closed my eyes. This time, as opposed to all the other times, I knew he was just being sarcastic. “I’ll still have to decline, I’m sorry.”

“That’s fair enough.” The knife disappeared back into the recesses of his robe. “I wouldn’t want to do it unless you’re into it, too.” Geez—why does a literal murder-freak understand consent better than some normal guys out there...

I let my back relax against the chain-link fence, hearing it clink a little. The sunset was reflecting off the prefab huts, making them glow pink. “You know... You can really live however you want, now.” I suddenly felt unable to look him in the eye... “Unless a normal loving relationship still seems too vanilla for you...”

“Hmm...” He folded his arms thoughtfully. “It’s an interesting point to ponder. Even knowing that my memories are fabricated, it won’t be easy to sway my feelings. The ‘Yugamu Omokage’ I was created to be is so deeply-ingrained... Hehe, I’m almost tempted to just stick it to our creators and try to live a completely different life outside their influence, but... These precious memories are all I have to inform me of who ‘me’ is.” Another stiff breeze blew. This conversation was getting pretty heavy... it was a lot to think about.

Who am “I”? How am I supposed to decide who Takumi Sumino is from here, when all that I am to inform those decisions was created by someone else? I suppose Yugamu had a point—everyone alive is like that. If my Mom and Dad were real, if Karua as I knew her was real... then “I” would’ve been influenced by them, too. Oh... I guess I was really influenced by “Karua”... by Nozomi talking to me, when I was in my pod... I wonder how I would’ve ended up if she didn’t come talk to me so often? I might’ve been less soft... Hiruko called me “kind”, but... I’m sure I really owe Nozomi a lot. More than I ever realized...

“Come now, Takumi—such a wrinkled brow doesn’t suit your pretty face.” Yugamu gave me one of his terrifyingly sincere smiles. “I’m sorry to bring the mood down—let’s talk about something else. Anything you want... I’m interested to get to know the real you, after all.”

I realized I had clutched my arm, almost shyly. It was getting a little chilly up here. Hiruko probably wouldn’t be in her room since she liked to stay out late, so... “Do you...” For some reason, the words died on my lips. I didn’t have the courage to ask... for some reason, it felt wrong to “lick each other’s wounds” like before... I knew that Yugamu and I—or at least, that fabricated version of him—just weren’t compatible in the long run, so it just felt mutually-beneficial that we were able to give each other some comfort in this mad place. But... I couldn’t ask that of someone who was trying to open his heart sincerely. It just seemed cruel... Maybe I was scared of someone getting to know the “real me”, since I didn’t know who that was, either.

Yugamu snapped me out of my thoughts by patting my shoulder. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Takumi.” He was smiling. “Although, I’m flattered... But, I feel it’s about time I take my exit from the stage.” He sighed. “There’s someone else who’s been desperate to reconcile with you ever since they came crawling back—it wouldn’t be fair for me to hog you all to myself now, would it?” He put both hands on my shoulders, his eye curved in a crescent. “Oh—and don’t forget about our special little cutie, either. Give him as much of your time as you can before his time is up... I’m sure he’ll have no regrets then.” He gave me one final pat, then his hand slunk away from my shoulder... “I think I should spend some time alone for now... Don’t worry, I’m used to pondering the nature of my existence, ehehe...” He flashed me a grin. “I’ll be in a better mood to face everyone tomorrow. So don’t waste a precious thought in your pretty little head on me.”

“Wait—” I reached out and grabbed his slender wrist out of habit. That just sounds so lonely... Even if he’s “used to it”, thinking about Yugamu being all alone in his room plumbing the depths of his existential crisis so he can “face us” tomorrow... I just don’t like it. “Um—can I give you a hug?”

His eye went a little wide. Ugh—I just blurted it out, I felt so lame... “Ehehe... of course.” He turned to face me, his arms open and hiding nothing.

I slipped my arms under his robe, which I’ve never done before... For some reason, this felt like “the last time”, so... I just wanted it to count for something.

“Oh, my...” He hugged me back, one of his arms snaking up to pet the back of my hair, like he was fond of doing... “How intimate... ehehe, it’s a good thing a certain person is holed up in the library, or even I’d have to watch my back.”

“The library?” Well... that would make sense before, but...

“Hmm.” He hummed contentedly, resting his face in my shoulder. “Our special friend is there, too—it looked like they were working on some sort of arts and crafts project.”

“‘Arts and crafts’?” Well now I’m really curious—just what the heck were they doing, and why?

I got little tingles as his long, sharp nails gently raked down the back of my hair... It was pretty lonely to think this was essentially “goodbye” to what could have been, but—I knew Yugamu would always be my genuine friend for life. That meant more to me than anything else... I wasn’t really the “friends with benefits” type to begin with, I only felt comfortable seeking him out because we were such good friends... oh. I wonder how he felt... I always assumed Yugamu was just down for whatever, since he was so open about his sexuality and “predilections” as he put it, but... Knowing that he was such a romantic and craved intimacy at the root of everything else... did it actually hurt his feelings being with me so casually? Oh... I wish I never had that thought. The guilt started washing over me in waves...

“Oh, my...” He snickered lightly in my ear. “I wonder what dark cloud is swirling over your mind right now...” He rubbed my back, dragging his sharp nails up and down... “Just let it go... it’ll be all right.” Did he guess what I was thinking? Honestly... I hope not...

I squeezed him tighter, his black robe slipping over my shoulders—I just tried to convey my most sincere wishes one last time. “I hope you find someone who loves you sincerely, who you can give all your love to—you deserve it.”

It didn’t feel as cold up on the roof anymore... even someone like Yugamu was warm, and alive. We stayed like that for a bit, with his nails raking my hair, neither of us willing to draw the curtain on our “last goodbye”... I hope he felt what I was trying to convey without words.

Finally, he pulled away. “You really are sweet, Takumi.” He had a softer smile than I was used to seeing on him. “Ehehe... Well, you’ve convinced me. How about one more, for old time’s sake...” His thumb brushed my cheek, and I got a little nervous—wah, I wasn’t prepared emotionally—

He pushed my bangs up, planting a soft kiss on my forehead. I just blinked, my brain lagging behind...

“Hehe... Now I can walk away satisfied.” He brushed my bangs back into place, giving my hair a little flick. “I apologize, Takumi—I must still have a devious side. That frightened rabbit look on your face is just too cute, ehehe...”

“Geez...” I pawed my bangs back down. “I guess that is just like you...”

“Hehe... Maybe I’ll make myself some tea and admire the night sky some more before turning in for the night.” He finally let me go, the warm glow of the sunset making his skin look pink... At least, that’s what I’ll pretend it was.

“You know, Yugamu—I picture you living in a traditional-style house in a long kimono, lounging around on the veranda with a cup of sake... I could see you being happy with a simple domestic life, and dad-like old man hobbies like moon-gazing...”

“‘Dad-like’, you say?” He rubbed his chin. “Hmm... Well, even while believing that I was an unhappy assassin, I always thought I’d make a good house-husband.”

“You did say that—well, now’s your chance.” I smiled at him. “I’m sure if you keep yourself open, you’ll find someone who matches your speed.”

“‘My speed’... Hehe, that’s a euphemism if I’ve ever heard one.” He had a glint in his eye, rubbing his chin while a worrying grin crept up his face... “I wonder what ‘my speed’ will be from here on out? Hehe... the future is wide open, there are so many possibilities...”

“... Just as long as you’re upfront and your partner is on the same page, I guess there’s no harm in it...”

“Ehehe... Of course, Takumi—this is me we’re talking about.” He said that, but he was practically drooling. “Oh, my—who else on our list of eligible bachelors and bachelorettes is up for the challenge? What do you think, Takumi?”

“Me?” I actually stopped to think about it... “Well... you actually might have more in common with Hiruko.” Ugh—why did saying that give me a pang of jealousy? As if I had any right to be jealous... I guess even friendships are just complicated sometimes, huh... “You didn’t hear this from me, but... she did say she needed a house-husband to raise all her kids while she focused on her career as a surgeon.”

“Her kids, eh? My, my... And a surgeon, at that...”

“Yeah, she told me she wanted a lot of kids...” I felt a bit bad for repeating Hiruko’s private business, but if it helped get the ball rolling... That was all before we found out those were only implanted memories, though, so who knows how she’d really feel... “Oh, but... she did say she wanted to spread her genes out as far as possible, so she’d probably have multiple partners...”

“Ah, I see.” Yugamu folded his arms. “Well, I wouldn’t be opposed to an arrangement like that... Although, truth be told, in my heart of hearts I’m more of a one-victim kind of guy. I mean—one-partner.” He grinned. “Hehe—I suppose old habits die hard.”

“Geez—well, I guess that doesn’t surprise me, actually...” I rubbed my chin. Who else would Yugamu be compatible with?

“Hmm...” He seemed to be pondering the same thing. “Well, Takemaru’s got a nice body, especially with all those scars... He’s always calling me pretty, and he has a good heart, so I know he’ll treat me right, hehe...”

“Oh, well...” Even though Takemaru was a pretty laid-back guy when it came to stuff like that, I’m pretty sure he didn’t call Yugamu “Pretty Boy” as a compliment... And... well, I always thought it’d be cute if he and Tsubasa got together...

“I see—that’s a no-go, then? Eheh—it’s written all over your face, Takumi. Have you been playing matchmaker with all our cute little friends, too?”

“Well... maybe. Just in my head...”

“I see.” His grin was getting scarier... “Then who’s left for me? I wouldn’t dream of trying to get in the middle of those twins... How about Gaku and Shouma? I’m sure I could help both of them learn to love themselves more, and polish them up like a pearl—I do always like a ‘tough nut’, so to speak... Ooh, and we can’t forget about Moko, either.” He hugged himself with that worrying smile. “A giant woman like that who could crush me like a bug... I’ve never thought about it before, but it is rather exciting, isn’t it?”

“Whatever floats your boat, just as long as they’re on the same page...”

“Hehe... This has given me a lot to think about.” He smiled, but genuinely this time. “Well—regardless of what we decide, I suppose there’s either a whole planet or satellite full of potential victims for me, isn’t there? I mean—partners.”

I smiled back. “There is—I’ll even play wingman for you, if you think I’ll be any help...”

His eye closed. “You’re so sweet, Takumi. Hehe, I’m tempted to give you another kiss on the forehead... But I’m happy with closing the book on that particular chapter. Aren’t you?”

It was a relief to hear him acknowledge it that way. “Yeah—I am.”

At some point, the sun must’ve set below the horizon, staining the sky a deep purple. We were always surrounded by flames here, but the purple sky could still be this beautiful...

“Oh—you said Shion was in the library? And they were doing ‘arts and crafts’...”

“Well, I’m not entirely sure what they were working on—I only stuck my head in to make sure that one was behaving himself.” He shrugged. “I suppose it’s a comfort that he’s getting along with the others, and not just clinging to your side the entire time.”

“Yeah...” Just what was he doing with Shion, anyway? Since he couldn’t read anymore... was he asking Shion to read out loud to him, or something? “I think I’ll go check on them, too...”

“Please, do.” Yugamu pat my shoulder again. “That one’s like a poorly-socialized cat—he might be sweet and cuddly when he’s curled up on your lap, but he still hisses and swipes his claws at the rest of us.” Yeesh—well, it’s not like I don’t already know that... “Clearly his memories of going out of his way to avoid associating with us ‘loathsome humans’ left a deep impression. You’ve really got your work cut out for you, Takumi.”

“Um...” Well—it’s true that he seemed attached to me in particular, but... Yugamu was being awfully assumptive with the implications here... What was I supposed to “do”, exactly?

“Oh, my. Looks like you both have your work cut out for you.” He coughed into his fist. “I’ll just leave it up to your intuition this time—if you’re really floundering, I suppose I can step in as a professional.” He finally let me go, making his way towards the gap in the rows of prefabs. “Just do your best!”

“I will... I guess.” Why do I still feel like I’m missing something here... “—good night!”

He peered over his shoulder with his covered eye... “Good night.” And he was gone.

“... haah.” I gripped the chain link fence, letting myself swing with it a bit... Well, even I’m not that dense—I know what he’s talking about, but what makes him think I’m in any hurry to put myself in that position?

百

I rounded the corner to the library, and Eito was sitting at one of the tables, with Shion hovering over him. He was holding one of those little plastic squeeze bottles filled with gold glittery paint...

He sat up straight as I walked in, turning in my direction. “Good evening, Takumi.” He had a bright smile, still wearing his dark glasses. “Aha... How could I tell it was you? By your footsteps, of course!”

Shion looked up, too. “Good evening, Takumi.” He smiled gently. “I suppose we lost track of time during our lesson...”

“Aha... You were awfully slow, weren’t you? Couldn’t you sense Takumi coming, too?” Geez—it’s not a competition...

“Oh, well... I was just watching your progress to make sure you didn’t smudge more paint on your fingers...” If it was anyone else but Shion, that might’ve sounded passive-aggressive... he probably just literally meant it, though.

“Haha...” Eito laughed awkwardly, compulsively running over his fingers with a nearby wet wipe... Whatever he was working on, it just looked like gold dots on a large sheet of paper—

“Oh—is that braille?”

“It is—I may as well start learning now.” He had several books around him, as well as an open workbook. His head followed the direction I was moving, even though he couldn’t see me. “Although, this is Japanese braille that only corresponds to kana sounds... Apparently there is an eight-dot system for kanji—but, if we decide to abandon all those manipulative humans up on the satellite, neither of these will do me much good down here on the surface.”

“—I still haven’t decided what we’re going to do yet.” I pulled out a chair. “... Are there any books in the library written in braille?”

“There is! Just one, though—War and Peace.”

“Geez...” Could they have picked a more dense book to transcribe to braille...

“Haha... Well, at any rate, Shion has been kind enough to help me locate the necessary teaching tools.”

“Oh, that was nice of you, Shion—I’m surprised this library even has something like that...”

“As am I—there are a great many resources here.”

Eito laughed without any semblance of joy. “Perhaps they anticipated one of us losing our ability to see, one way or another.”

The table was silent.

He kept dabbing dots of gold paint on that white sheet of paper...

“Oh—look, Takumi.” Shion held up another page, littered with smudges and golden dots of varying sizes, all popping off the page slightly. To my untrained eye, it appeared that the same pattern was repeated over and over—⠕⠩⠷.

“Ah—” Eito reached out—

“This is your name in braille—well, at least phonetically. Ta-Ku-Mi!”

Eito pushed up his dark glasses, and I noticed a small gold smudge on the bottom of the bridge... “... I was just practicing with this quick-dry paint, you see.” He kept silently working. “Though it’s not as ‘quick-drying’ as I’d like... but it does leave a tactile mound like puff paint.”

Poor Shion was looking between us, not sure why the vibe was suddenly so awkward... haah. Well... I can’t say I’m shocked to my core. Maybe Yugamu wasn’t too far off with his metaphor of a cat sitting in my lap, hissing at everyone else who passed...

I realized I was tapping my fingers on the desk. Well, I’ll tell you one thing—if I suddenly went blind and started practicing braille, you wouldn’t see me writing “Eito” over and over and over again...

百

Day 8 – Present Timeline

百

“—whoa, Takumi!”

“Ah—” I stopped short of smacking right into a pole.

“Geez, man—quit spacin’ out, you never know what’s gonna happen out here!” Takemaru’s loud voice echoed over the desolate landscape, with poor Shouma still doing bunny-hops along after him.

“Sorry... I was just thinking.” I side-stepped the twisted traffic sign, my shoes brushing over dust and rubble.

“You can think once we’re there, man—you said you wanted to get there ASAP, right?”

“That’s right...” Not only that, but I pretty much wanted to grab everyone and leave ASAP, too. I asked—practically begged—Hiruko to look after Darumi, and I asked Tsubasa to keep an eye on Gaku, so everyone at least had a “buddy”. I originally wanted to just take Shouma with me, but Takemaru insisted on coming along so he could “toughen him up” along the way... I just hope it wasn’t a mistake to leave Last Defense Academy on Day 8 again. My hands were tied until Murvrum returned—not only because he was instrumental in any future negotiations, but to make sure the others could handle him just in case peace talks went south. Even though I hadn’t seen her observing the battle, there was still a non-zero chance that V’ehxness would show up just to assess things while I was gone—I just couldn’t leave Second-to-Last Academy defenseless for long with that mind-controlling Parmith prowling about—not to mention Ven’ta, the one who could create a perfect copy of anyone... Once again, it was an impossible choice with risks no matter how I sliced it.

I still hadn’t gotten to explain what I was doing during that battle to anyone… the only person in the cafeteria so early was Hiruko, everyone else was still exhausted from the battle—it seemed like their “supercharged” hemoanima was still taking some getting used to, like a lesser extent of what I was feeling. But once everyone was together, and Sirei gave us his “consensus” from the Will of Humanity—that’s when I would tell them. I would reveal what I knew in stages—first, that this wasn’t Earth, and the real Earth had already been long-destroyed by World Death. That this planet was actually Futurum, hosting a climate and atmosphere near-identical to Earth, which the remaining humans in the Tokyo Residential Complex, i.e. the Artificial Satellite were hoping to make their new home. I’d try not to be too leading in my explanation—I wanted everyone to be able to come to their own conclusion on what was the right thing to do. Ideally we’d all be unanimous in our decision, but... if it came down to it, I had another hard decision coming up...

“Whoa—is that it?” Takemaru shielded his eyes with his palm. Sure enough, the Second-to-Last school building appeared beyond a mild dust storm—we couldn’t afford to wait for it to pass. Thanks to the shortcut, at least the way back would be pretty straightforward in the school bus...

“... whew... I don’t think—I can do... another... bunny... hop...” Shouma was panting while leaned over his legs, then he managed to straighten himself up—

“Whoa—you’re huge!”

“... Huh?” He looked down at his body, his rippling abs having destroyed his shirt like he went Super Saiyan. “Oh... I guess all those bunny hops paid off, Coach Takemaru!”

“Haha! Damn right, they did!” Takemaru flexed his bicep. “Now let’s get in there and rescue those girls!”

“I never said they were being held hostage...” I guess Takemaru only heard what he wanted to hear...

As soon as we approached the building, Nigou toddled out to greet us. Whew—thank God, nothing seemed to be amiss. “Greetings, students! Ohoho—how did I know you were Students of Last Defense Academy?” Nigou pressed his little hands to his blushing cheeks. “Why—from your uniforms, of course! Oh, dear—young man, what happened to your Class Armor?”

“Huh? Me? Oh... I wasn’t wearing it, so I could do bunny hops the whole way here... Uh—a useless maggot like me wouldn’t have been much good in battle, anyway...”

“That’s not true, Shouma—I brought you with me specifically because you’re the only one who can defend against the mind-control Commander.”

“Oh, dear!” Nigou was flinging sweat-drops all over. “How frightening—that won’t do at all! Come inside, please—I’ll introduce you to the others, then we can be on our way in the school bus!”

I breathed an audible sigh of relief. “Thank you, Nigou.”

Takemaru peered all around the school grounds as we walked towards the building. “Seems quiet enough around here... Looks like you made the right call keeping the travel squad light.”

“Well, we’re not out of the woods yet.” I was still feeling antsy—I just couldn’t shake this bad feeling. Just please be safe, everyone...

I took a centering breath as we crossed the threshold, making our way to the gym... I mentally prepared myself for only Yugamu and Moko being able to recognize me. I knew that Nozomi... just wouldn’t. Not only had I not absorbed her hemoanima, but hers was weak to begin with... This Nozomi would just be a stranger to me all over again. It wouldn’t be any easier the third time... It also left me conflicted over whether I should butt in and tell everyone her situation, if they inevitably questioned her presence and why she wasn’t registered in the SDU. I could always talk with her about it beforehand, and warn her that it might happen, so her best bet was just to be honest... But she might also find it uncomfortable that I have such one-sided knowledge about intimate details of her life, like last time... I just wasn’t looking forward to the inevitable awkwardness. Plus... I didn’t know if Kyoshika or Kurara would recognize me, either. They were both gone before the final battle... I just didn’t want to set myself up for disappointment. I was just trying to temper my expectations.

“Oh, guys—before we go inside, just a word of warning... The girl wearing the green tomato mask is going to be a little harsh. Just don’t take it personally... she’s always like that.”

“Yeah—you mentioned that already, Takumi.”

“Oh... I did?”

“Yeah, man...” Takemaru’s intense expression softened somewhat. “Hey—you sure you’re doin’ okay? You were spacin’ out pretty hard the whole walk here.”

“U-um... maybe having to suffer my odious presence made you have an out-of-body experience...”

I sighed. “I promise that wasn’t it, Shouma...” I knew I was getting lost in my thoughts, but... I just couldn’t help it. “I’m fine—I was just running potential scenarios in my head, so I don’t trip us up trying to stick too close to my original timelines.” It wasn’t a lie...

“Well—if you’re sure, Takumi.” Takemaru thankfully left it at that.

I started getting just a bit apprehensive as we entered the school building. I just... Well, this morning I grabbed Shouma and left pretty much immediately after breakfast, without going to talk to Eito at all. I just felt awkward seeing him so soon after that awful dream... Well, it wasn’t awful, that was the worst part. And well... haah. This wasn’t a problem I ever foresaw having in my life, but—I didn’t know what kinds of emotions would be dredged up when Yugamu saw me again, if he’d “recognize” me or feel differently, like Eito when he froze up like a deer in the headlights—I just didn’t want to have all these conflicting feelings at once, I’d rather just deal with one thing at a time. Haah... I feel like I can’t even put it accurately into words... I just need to “compartmentalize”, I guess. Geez... How’d I go from having no game at all to being in the middle of an emotional tug-of-war... I wish Karua were here so I could commiserate with her about it... It’d be nice if Nozomi and I could become that close, someday.

That thought gave me a small smile, so I tried to march into Second-to-Last Defense Academy with my head held high. I only get one chance to make a first impression with my new comrades...

“That is simply not true, Lady Kurara! The Holy Jumonji Sword and I have come to an agreement that I can see other people!” Kyoshika smiled proudly with a hearty laugh.

“How disgusting—I wouldn’t touch you or that nasty sword with a ten-foot pole!” Kurara’s fists shook in anger. “I bet even that wouldn’t be too big for your gaping hole!”

“O-oh, my...” Kyoshika covered her mouth, a deep blush dominating her face. “Ten feet, you say... is that more than a meter?”

“Ugh—you suck at conversion rates, too! Country bumpkin!”

“Hey, girls—let’s all get along, or I’ll have to put you in my special ‘get-along’ headlock!” Moko hunched over, flexing her impressive arm muscles.

“Holy hell... That’s one strong chick.” No kidding—she could probably even snap Takemaru like a twig... “‘Sup ladies—we’re here to pick you up and escort you back to our place.” Takemaru smiled widely, punching his open palm. “Name’s Takemaru Yakushiji—pleased to meet ya.”

I knew Shouma wasn’t going to speak up unless he was forced to, so I went next... “Hi everybody—I’m Takumi Sumino. It’s nice to meet you all.” I turned to Shouma next, with a pleading look in my eye.

“U-um—I’m Shouma Ginzaki—but feel free to forget my name as soon as you hear it! I wouldn’t want to taint your ears, o-or your mouths with my filthy name...” Haah...

“Ugh! More unwashed peasants...” Kurara huffed, even the expression on her tomato-head curling upwards in disgust. “Pay attention and memorize the name of your betters, lowly scum—I am the noble Kurara Oosuzuki, heir to the great Oosuzuki Empire.” She posed with her hands on her hips proudly. “The muscle-girl is Moko Mojiro, and this sword-fornicator is Kyoshika Magadori—but she’ll answer to ‘The Holy Jumonji Sword’s Cock-sheathe!’” Oh, my... that was even more direct than she ever was before...

Poor Kyoshika’s face was completely red as she stuttered helplessly... “Th-that’s not true, Lady Kurara... The Holy Jumonji Sword is a d-decent and upstanding lady...!” That’s the part she took issue with?

Takemaru and Shouma were stunned into silence... Well, I can’t blame them.

“Ohoho—now girls, please be nice to these young men! They came all the way here to escort us personally!” Nigou beamed.

“Hehe—finally, some fellow gym rats!” Moko winked, flexing her bicep. “You two look like you know your way around a protein shake—the skinny one’s not bad either, at least he’s easy on the eyes! Kyaah!” Her eyes scrunched closed. “Look what you made me say!” But you said it all on your own...

I couldn’t help but laugh. As bizarre as their behavior no doubt seemed to Takemaru and Shouma... it was comforting to see them acting exactly the same. “Oh—there are two others with you, right?”

“Yes, indeed—Mr. Omokage is out patrolling, and Miss Kirifuji just had to step away for a moment.”

“I see...”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that Moko was studying my face intensely. “Hey... Takumi, was it?” She planted a hand on her hip. “This might be outta left field, but—have you and me ever had a tag-team match together?”

I laughed a bit. “Well, not exactly...” I faced the group at large. “But we are already comrades. This may be hard to believe, but we all fought together in a timeline I’ve already experienced. So... that’s why I’m not surprised at all seeing all of you... It’s comforting.”

“Wow!” Moko’s hands flew to her cheeks. “So that’s it! You know, when you say it like that, it makes me want to believe you, Takumi!”

“Heh...” Takemaru’s eyes closed behind his shades. “Yeah... it does, don’t it?”

“Oho—this must be what the Honorable Sirei mentioned in his correspondence!” Nigou smiled brightly. “‘The boy who leapt through time’—how exciting! You’ll be an invaluable asset in our fight, young man, that is for certain!”

“Thanks, Nigou—I’m just glad to see you guys safe and sound this time.”

“Oh, my!” He brought a stubby hand to his mouth. “Yes, a mind-controlling invader and a shapeshifter—quite frightening indeed!” Then his easygoing smile returned. “As soon as the others join us, we’ll be right on our way in the school bus!” Whew—I didn’t have to convince Nigou not to stay behind and blow himself up this time. Sirei must have pulled some strings with the “higher-ups” to get Nigou reassigned preemptively...

“Rrgh—I still can’t believe those peasants in charge allowed ME to toil away at this decoy of a school!” Kurara’s whole being was vibrating in anger. “How insulting—someone will have to commit seppuku, crawl up a spider’s thread from hell, then commit seppuku again to atone for this!!”

“Lady Kurara, that is surely too harsh! Committing seppuku once is quite enough!”

“My, my... I see the two of you wasted no time giving our precious classmates a warm welcome.” Yugamu strolled into the gym, his arms folded nonchalantly. “It’s a miracle they haven’t run back out to take their chances in the desert.” His eye swept over all three of us. “Ehehe... It’s nice to finally have more guys around here. I was beginning to feel like even more of a black sheep than I already am...” Then he paused when his eye fell on me. “Oh, my...” He rubbed his chin. “Well, I’m not one to forget a cute face, but—have we met before? Perhaps... in a dark alley? Ehehe...”

“I felt he same thing!” Moko was looking at all three of us with a reverently soft expression. “Well, not the ‘dark alley’ part—but apparently our future selves fought side-by-side! Even I couldn’t sell kayfabe like that, so it must be true!”

“Hmph! I have no recollection of suffering the company of these ruffians!”

“Hmm... How do you feel about that, Holy Jumonji Sword?”

Well... I already told myself I wouldn’t be disappointed no matter what, but...

Yugamu peered around the gym. “I see Nozomi still isn’t back yet... Why don’t you walk with me so we can cover more ground, hmm?” His eye peered into me knowingly.

“Sure, I don’t mind...” I tried to sound neutral, but it probably sounded too neutral... I walked with Yugamu out of the gym, and I could see Takemaru eyeing me curiously as we left.

We were halfway down the hall before Yugamu spoke up again. “Ehehe... Now that I’ve got you alone, where do I really know you from?” He gave me one of his terrifyingly sincere smiles. “I won’t tell the others, I promise...”

I laughed lightly. “Well, what I said was true... You did fight alongside me and everyone else in my future. You were a really reliable ally...” I peered at him sideways as we walked. “... I’m sure this won’t mean much to you because you’ve just met me, but you were an important friend, too.”

“An ‘important friend’...” He walked along with his arms folded. “I see... Is that all?”

It felt like he was looking right through me...

But—this is my chance to “wipe the slate clean”. The most fair thing to do, for both the Yugamu that I knew and this one, was to close the book on that particular chapter. He was an important friend, and I hope he can be again—that’s all that matters. I know he’ll be able to tell I’m lying, but... I hope my intentions still come through. “It’s because I want to treasure you as a friend.”

“That’s right.” I realized I was subconsciously smoothing my bangs out of my eyes. “An irreplaceable friend.”

“... I see.” We walked along in shockingly-comfortable silence. “Eheh, how sweet...” Then he came to a stop. “Well—now that my curiosity is satisfied, I should tell you that Nozomi merely went to use the restroom. I could already sense her heading back to the gym—so there’s no need to linger here any longer.” He smiled brightly.

“I see...” I stopped short, hesitating in what I wanted to ask. Maybe it’d be better to “get it out of the way”... but I felt embarrassed asking someone who was essentially a total stranger. It was just different than Takemaru and Tsubasa... “I’m sorry if this is an odd request, but—can I give you a hug?”

“Ehehe... So that’s ‘odd’ to you.” He opened his arms, beckoning me without another word.

I gave him a simple hug, with my arms over his robe... He was warm, like he’d been walking around in the sun...

He wrapped his arms around my back—somehow I was both surprised and not surprised when I felt sharp nails grazing the back of my hair.

“Hehe... I’m not the superstitious type, but I must’ve racked up some good karma to get my hands on such a cute specimen.”

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. “Maybe you lived a good, peaceful life as a shellfish.”

“A shellfish, eh...” He gently pet down the back of my hair. “That does sound peaceful. What a simple existence...”

We stayed like that for just a few seconds, until I felt it was enough. I pulled back, and for some reason I felt like I should avoid looking him in the eye... I didn’t want to “invite” anything else.

“Oh, there you are...” I recognized her voice instantly. “Oh—sorry, I hope I’m not interrupting!” She laughed a bit awkwardly. Geez... that was a little embarrassing... but at least it was just Nozomi.

I turned to her with a smile. As much as I wanted to say, “Hey, long time no see”—I knew it would just make her feel bad that she didn’t remember me. I was just relieved to see her at all, alive and well... That’s all that mattered. “Don’t worry about it, you’re not interrupting—it’s nice to meet you. I’m Takumi Sumino, I’m with the group from the main campus.”

“Oh!” She clutched her arm shyly. “It’s nice to meet you... I’m Nozomi Kirifuji.” She probably still felt a little awkward for “intruding”... haah. So much for my first impression... Oh, well—it’s not like she had a bias against people like that—how could she? Since she’s the one who influenced the Karua from my memories...

“Well, now that introductions have been made, shall we join the others in the gym?” Yugamu kept walking like it was no big thing. “The others who arrived with our friend Takumi are quite something.” It seemed odd for him to specify “our friend Takumi”... maybe he sensed something and was trying to do me a favor. Geez... I guess Yugamu was a better wingman than I’ll ever be…

“Oh, is that so?” Nozomi tucked a loose lock of hair behind her ear. “I can’t wait to meet them—I’ve been wondering what the other students are like!” Her gentle smile still looked a bit shy... This time, I didn’t want to be overbearing and try to “fast-track” our friendship and make her uncomfortable—I just needed to have patience, and trust her own emotional intelligence. There would be plenty of time... I just hope she didn’t feel left out seeing the others all seemingly growing so close to me already. Kyoshika and Kurara would be in the same boat, so at least she wouldn’t feel like an island—hopefully Kyoshika could muster enough “team spirit” for everyone.

The three of us walked along down the hallway, with Nozomi just a step ahead. She turned over her shoulder as we approached the gym.

“So, Takumi—do you and Yugamu recognize each other from the Tokyo Residential Complex?” She tried to sound cheery, but there was a slight hesitation, as if she wasn’t sure if that was okay to ask...

“Ehehe... Nozomi, do you believe in reincarnation?” Yugamu kept walking at a steady pace, as if he was just asking about the weather.

“Reincarnation? Oh...” She clutched her arm again. “Well... I’m not sure, to be honest.” Her eyes closed, and her expression looked a little troubled. “It’s kind of a heavy thing to think about out of nowhere, haha...” Oh... She probably has complicated feelings about “what happens after death” because of what happened with her Mom... Some religions believe that committing suicide is a mortal sin. Ugh—I need to steer the conversation in a different direction—

“Well, it may not be ‘reincarnation’, necessarily...” Yugamu shrugged. “But don’t you get the sense that you’ve met Takumi somewhere before, too?”

She had turned around, and she was looking right into my eyes, openly and honestly searching for something. I had no reason to hide it—my truth. “You were the one who was always talking to me. You felt like you could tell me anything... You even showed up in my dreams. I’ve known you for as long as I can remember...”

Her eyes widened just a bit, almost looking a bit dewy. “Do you...”

“Argh—what’s taking those two so long?!” Kurara burst out of the gym, the nostrils of her mask flaring like an angry bull’s. “There you are—how dare you keep a noblewoman waiting?!” She huffed, the sleeves of her coat flared out. “Peasants should know their place!! If we’re departing this shell of a facility, then let’s not waste another minute of my precious time!”

“Haha... Sorry, Kurara.” Nozomi tried her best to play peacekeeper, as she often did. “I think we’re all ready now. Right?” She gave me a gentle smile.

“Yeah—I’m ready if you guys are.” I had a feeling she would want to try to continue our conversation, but—it wouldn’t exactly be that private on the bus. We’ll see—maybe that was all it took for her to warm up to me enough to want to talk when we get back.

“Whoa—Shouma, what happened to your muscles?!” Moko looked “gooped and gagged”, as Karua might say.

“Haah...” Shouma was slumped over, his shirt hanging off of him in tatters, looking so down he practically had mushrooms growing on him... “This is... my odious appearance... my true form...”

“Whoa. I see.” Yugamu rubbed his chin. “Hehe... You’re so small and fun-sized—who knew there was such a cutie under there?”

“Ohh—please...” Shouma shielded himself from the onslaught of light compliments. “Please don’t waste your words on a lowly worm like me... they’ll have to remove ‘cute’ from the dictionary if you taint it with me by association...”

百

“Takumi.” I realized I was bouncing my leg restlessly, and forced myself to relax. “Take it easy, man—there’s eight of us now, I’d like to see any invaders get the drop on us!”

“Sorry... you’re right.” I tried to give Takemaru a reassuring smile, but it just felt disingenuous—I just couldn’t relax, I could feel something out there, watching, biding its time... I just prayed it wasn’t V’ehxness. If she ambushed us while we were out here in the desert, without a Revive-O-Matic in range...

I kept scanning the desolate landscape, looking out the front windshield and the windows on either side. I couldn’t afford to be distracted, so I elected to sit by myself in the front seat so I had a wider range of vision while Nigou drove the bus. I asked everyone to stand by in their Class Armor just in case... Given our proximity to the base, it was most likely to be Parmith lurking out there—or maybe even Zen’ta, the one who could make perfect copies... They’d really be a nasty combination if they attacked us both at once.

“You’re quite tense.” Yugamu leaned over the back of the seat behind me. “Perhaps I could try out one of my torture techniques to help you relax?”

“...”

“...”

“... Aren’t you going to say, ‘I mean—massage’?”

“Ehehe... Why should I?” He smiled brightly, his eye a crescent. “You must know me well as my ‘special friend.’”

“—I said ‘important friend.’”

“Hehe—what’s the difference?” Geez—I’m not looking forward to Eito getting all weird about Yugamu all over again... Oh. I realized that’s the first I’d really thought about him since this morning. I guess... that’s probably a good thing in the long run, it won’t do me any favors turning things over in my head obsessively when Eito’s unpredictable attitude could just undo any careful approach in seconds... But it still made me feel a bit guilty.

“Hey, Takumi!” Moko called from the backseat. “Once we get to the main campus, can we—” Glass shattered, tires squealed, high-pitched screams—I jumped to my feet, drawing my sword.

“Everyone—it’s outside!” A floating head with multiple mouths ready to spit arrows was spinning outside the school bus, its many eyes lit up red. “Take cover—don’t let its arrows hit you!”

“Wah! Mayday, mayday—we’re under attack!” Nigou waved his arms frantically, cowering in the driver’s seat. “All troops—get in battle positions!!”

“Shouma—that’s your cue!” Takemaru roared. “Get in your sweet-ass robot and show that thing who’s boss!”

“O-okay!” Shouma was shaking like a leaf, but he still got to his feet.

“I’ll cover you, Shouma—just get outside the bus!” I hit the button to open the doors, ready to block the arrows with my sword—with all the hemoanima flowing through me, I felt like I was fast enough to do it. It looks like she came alone, seizing the opportunity to ambush us before she could muster a force of pawns.

“Boo-yah!” A huge spiked flail came flying, destroying one of the seats—

“Wah—Moko?! What are you—”

Her eyes were swirling—it got her.

“Everyone—stay away from her! She’s being controlled!” I have to make a decision—“Takemaru—you cover Shouma until he can draw the Commander’s attention! You four—lure Moko off the bus so you can keep her busy!” Everyone was already scrambling off the bus—Yugamu even slipped out the broken window. “The mind-control should wear off when we force the Commander out of her transformation!”

“Holy Jumonji Sword—to arms!”

“Oh, brother—it figures the biggest meat-head would get mind-controlled!” Kurara zoomed off the bus on her shovel, quickly slapping down a mechanical device in the dirt outside. “This should keep her on her toes!”

“Hoo-rah!” Moko swung out of the other broken window feet-first, not even cognizant that her arms got all cut up in the process—the turret Kurara set up took potshots at her, drawing her attention.

I left it to them to keep her busy, making a run for Parmith while Shouma set up a shield, already in his giant mech.

“Over here!” He fired off his aggression signal, and the Commander’s attention was solely on him, shooting arrows futilely at his hardened armor.

Takemaru took a wide turn around the Commander’s back, smacking it hard with his spiked bat. “Oh, yeah—how’d you like that?!” The Commander shot arrows in his wake while he sped away, then with another aggression signal from Shouma its attention was forcibly yanked away. Shouma’s power might’ve been similar to hers—compelling the target at the hematic level.

“Flash!” Kyoshika was keeping Moko on the move with her sword slashes, and Yugamu slowed her movement with one of his poison vials.

I lined up the Commander in my sight, ready to make a decisive strike—it felt like my blood was boiling. I didn’t want to kill her if I could help it—this one was way more dangerous than Murvrum, but—

I sent a shockwave through the air, piercing the Commander’s outer shell clean in two.

“YEEAgghhh!” A discordant wail echoed, black tentacles flailing out of the head, a column of sludge littered with red eyes exploding out from the shell. “It is foolish to resist... Destruction will be an act of love for you who are bound by the shackles of hatred...” Its red eyes all lit up. “I, Parmith, the Paragon of Devotion, shall show you the depths of my love for you!!”

“Oh, my—and some say my idea of love is twisted.” Yugamu licked one of his blades. “Eheh... Let’s see if you bleed just like all the others...” Before Parmith could react, his impossibly long arm extended out, piercing right through her gelatinous body.

“Euhl—” She almost wailed in ecstasy, jiggling like a jello mold. Takemaru’s blunt attacks wouldn’t do much good against that—

“Takemaru—switch to Moko! Keep her busy while we deal with this!”

“You got it!” In a flash, he was over at the bus, spraying Moko with his exhaust. I had to make this quick, so she wouldn’t sustain any unnecessary injuries either—

“—kh!” I suddenly fell to one knee—all the cryptoglobin was roiling inside me, I could barely contain it—

“I’ve got you!” A cooling sensation flowed all throughout my body—Nozomi had shot me with a recovery booster.

I staggered to my feet. “—thanks!” My eyes went all over Parmith’s formless body—where to strike a non-lethal blow...

One of its eyes flashed brighter than the others—I took a running stab right into it, twisting my blade while a spray of blood washed over me.

“AAEEUulll...” The Commander’s body wilted and shrunk back to nothing, fading away in a burst of blood as her real body lay in a heap. She was clutching one of the shattered red eyeshields of her mask.

I leveled my sword at her. “It’s over.”

“—!” She was trembling, holding her eye. “How—how do you speak our language?!”

“I know more about you than just your language—where is Zen’ta, the Paragon of Harmony?” I was glad I remembered all their titles... “Is she also nearby?”

“Heh... You won’t get anything out of me.” I could hear her chuckling behind her mask. “You may as well kill me now... I’ll never betray my beloved.”

“I see...” I readied my blade once again... “Then you leave me no choice.” She clutched her hand to her chest, cowering on the ground... With one clean slice, the two halves of her mask fell to the ground.

“—ah!” She scrambled to grab her mask, pressing her other hand to futilely hide her bare face—long flowing hair with a pink champagne hue spilled down over her shoulders, while mismatched blue and silver eyes widened in panic. So—that’s what she looked like.

“I won’t take your life—but your days as a Commander are over.” I emphatically stabbed my sword through the half of her mask that lay in the dirt. “Don’t come after us again—spend what remaining time you have with your beloved, and live a simple life that brings you joy.”

“—arrogant little pup...!” She spat through gritted teeth, one hand pressed firmly over her face while the other clawed the loose dirt in frustration. “First you raze our home and slaughter our people, then you insult our pride by granting us mercy... Finish me off! I have no regrets... even when I’m gone, my love will remain!”

I wiped the blade of my sword off on my sleeve, then sheathed it. “I won’t.” I could feel the eyes of the others burning a hole into my back—especially those from Second-to-Last, they were probably shocked into silence. “We are not like the Children of the Stars who came before us. We have no desire to live in a peace forged by conquest.” That was an RPG line if I ever heard one...

“Takumi.” Yugamu had silently slid behind me, whispering at my back. “I don’t know what your angle is here, but... To your opponent, the humiliation of mercy is worse than the fear of death.”

“I know.” I turned away from her, showing Parmith my back. “But this is how I’ve decided to live.”

Parmith didn’t strike me while my back was turned. The others were all stunned, their eyes following me as I cut a path between the group.

“Sir Takumi—is this wise?” Kyoshika was the first to speak. “All warriors know that their life is destined to end on the battlefield—to spare her life is to insult her warrior’s pride.”

“That’s not my problem.” Ugh—I was starting to feel dizzy. “That’s for her to decide if she can live with the ‘humiliation’ or not—I’m still not going to kill anyone.” Whoa—I almost stumbled walking back to the bus—the whole siding was riddled with holes, two of the windows were shattered... none of the tires were popped, so we should still be able to make it... good, Takemaru was helping Moko back to her feet...

“—Takumi!” My vision went dark—

百

“Haha... You’re really serious about this ‘pacifism’ thing, aren’t you?” Eito’s long fingers brushed my hair off my forehead. “I’ve no doubt this will only come back to bite you in the end!”

“I don’t remember asking you.” My eyes were scrunched closed—it still felt like every drop of blood in my body was boiling...

“Aha... I wonder how many times I’ve stabbed you in the back after you’ve shown me that kind of ‘mercy’... Exactly how many times have you come back now?” His gentle tone was like the warning rattle of a snake’s tail. “Haha... Maybe you got so sick of me ruining your ‘good ending’, you finally went back and killed me before I got the chance to become a thorn in your side! I’m sure the others all looked to you as their same magnanimous leader after that—after all, it had to be done! There truly was no other way!”

“—I’d never do that...” My mouth felt so dry, my tongue swollen—I could hardly talk, the words just wouldn’t come out. “I’d never do that—it’s wrong...”

“It’s ‘wrong’... Haha... ‘Right’ and ‘wrong’ don’t mean a thing. That’s just your own personal opinion.” His nails raked through my hair. “You can try to justify it to yourself however you want, Takumi—in the end, you’re just another selfish human trying to survive at the expense of others, no better than an animal.”

“That’s not true...” I couldn’t hear my own voice... “That’s not true...!”

The bus went over a nasty pothole, bouncing with a loud ‘thud!’

“Shh... It’s all right, Takumi...” That gentle voice... it was Karua. “We’re almost there...” Oh... good, that was just a bad dream when Eito was saying I killed him... I’d never do that, it’s just wrong...

“It’s just wrong...”

“Hm? What’s wrong?” Gentle fingers were smoothing down my hair. It felt nice... “I promise—it’s not much farther. Nigou said so—we’ll be there before you know it. Then you can go rest in your own bed...” Oh... good. That sounded nice...

百

“Takumi? Hehe... as cute as your sleeping face is, I’m going to need you to get up now...” Someone was shaking my shoulder. “You need to be able to walk to your bed by yourself, or else we’ll have to kill you and let the Revive-O-Matic reconstruct you good as new, ehehe...”

“No... That’s wrong...”

“Hmm?” Whoever it was, they leaned down close... I finally cracked my eyes open, it felt like my eyelids weighed ten pounds each... Oh, it was just Yugamu. “It’s wrong? Heheh... Is it wrong when death means nothing to us? Even someone like me feels conflicted...”

My body was aching all over... Did I really exert myself that much? “... Are we there yet?” I pushed myself up on my elbows. The whole bus was dim—oh, this was the inside of the parking garage. We made it back... good...

“We are indeed—according to Nigou, this school is nearly identical to ours, but I’d still like to walk around and get my bearings. So—up and at ‘em.” He shook my shoulder more vigorously. “If you don’t get up, Takemaru will have to carry you to your room princess-style.”

“... Anything but that.”

“Pft...”

What was that? It sounded like one of Takemaru’s raspberries... I thought I saw a shadow passing outside the bus window—oh no, was he waiting just in case he had to carry me? Aw, geez... I hope I didn’t just hurt his feelings...

“My, my—that one’s a little more sensitive than his appearance would lead you to believe.” My shoulder was shaken again. “All right, I can take the hint—you want me to carry you to my bed princess-style.”

“Ugh...” Reluctantly, I rolled onto my side, pushing my aching body up with one arm. I literally just reunited with this guy and he’s already acting like that... “This time it’d just be cheating...”

“‘This time’? Oh, my... Hehehe...” ... I didn’t just say that out loud, did I?

百

My eyes cracked open... My room was enveloped in soft darkness, the light shining from the artificial satellite pouring in through the high window. What time is it... Is it before the nighttime announcement, or after?

Gingerly, I rolled my head to the side... it was just after 11:00pm. I have no idea what time we got back... I feel so drained, like I just ran a marathon...

I pushed my hair off my forehead, trying to recall the day’s events... We picked up the others from Second-to-Last, fought off Parmith... Zen’ta wasn’t there, as far as I could tell. Parmith refused to give us any information, saying we’d have to kill her... but I refused. I remembered that much... but after that, it was kind of a blur...

I was absently running my nails through the ends of my bangs... I remember someone was touching my hair. I had a bad dream that it was Eito, saying I killed him in a past life, or something like that—just ridiculous, why would I even have a dream like that... Who was talking to me? I thought it was Karua, but... Was it Nozomi? No... I think she’d be a little too shy to let me lay my head in her lap like that, when I’m still a stranger to her. But... I did hear her voice.

I laid there, staring straight up at the ceiling, my hand in front of my own face blurred as I messed with my hair. I felt wide awake now... like I wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep. Haah... I guess I could walk down to the cafeteria and grab myself a midnight snack...

百

I couldn’t help but pass through the connecting hallway on the third floor, looking down into the courtyard just to check... The battery-powered lamp was still on outside the cage. It looked like he was sitting at the table. Haah... Well, now I wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it until I went down there for myself.

My thoughts were swirling as I descended the stairs... Did my half-awake brain really throw out something like, “It’d be cheating?” There wasn’t really anything to cheat on between Eito and me. Just a vague feeling based on a mutual promise... There wasn’t really anything before that, either. The first time around, when I thought Eito was my friend... I thought he was kind, and awkward, and said a lot of embarrassingly sincere things, but—I liked him, as much as I liked Takemaru or Tsubasa or anyone else. I mean, I’m not blind, I’ll admit he is easy on the eyes... I even thought so back then. I’d say he’s more “pretty” than “handsome”, there is an androgynous quality to him. I just liked having him around... Since Hiruko was gone and it fell on me to be the leader, he was almost my “assistant leader”—he always had sound advice and was one of the cooler heads in the room. I always thought that, anyway... I really should’ve seen it coming when he said sus things like, “You really are kind, Takumi... Almost too kind.” With an almost sad expression on his face... I just thought he was really lonely, and didn’t know what to do being approached so sincerely. I guess that’s still true. Maybe that’s when I started feeling an almost protective urge to want to get closer to him.

Then the second time around... I don’t know. His complete betrayal just blindsided and cut me so deeply—but I felt it was wrong to just kill him, especially for something he technically hadn’t even done. I believe that people have the capacity to change, and even Shion agreed with me that I did the right thing. Even after Eito escaped and attacked us along with Zen’ta, I refused to take his life when we captured him, because I still believed that—even if he just escaped again and spat it back in my face that I was too trusting and stupid, I needed to stick by my principles. That’s when the kind of questionable things he said before really started ramping up, and he got super clingy—even before the excuse that he needed “help” getting around without his eyesight. But I... I still kept him at arm’s length. I still kept him at a distance because I didn’t know what he was planning—it was easy to vaguely “believe in him” when he was running around out beyond the wall of flame doing who-knows-what—suddenly when he was back in front of me and asking me to trust him sincerely, I froze up. That’s probably why he said he “despised” me... No—it was probably more complicated than that. Much more. Eito was a complicated person. He probably wasn’t capable of only feeling one way about something, his entire existence was conflicted.

I padded out into the courtyard, a sea of stars visible up in the dome. I really wish there were some crickets or frogs here... the night was just missing something.

“Takumi.” He closed his book, standing up to walk to the edge of the bars. “Welcome home.”

“I’m back.” Gah—I just said it automatically. Eito looked quite pleased with himself, smiling ear-to-ear...

[A/N: Eito tricked Takumi into saying ただいま (tadaima) by saying おかえり (okaeri). It’s a common greeting when someone comes home, but with a more “domestic” connotation, like between family or spouses. It’s kind of a cliché for the lonely overworked salaryman to be like, “I just wish I had someone to say, ‘Welcome home’ to me when I get home from work!!”]

I stepped up close to the bars, looking up at him. This guy is a different Eito... It’s too late to fulfill my promise to the person who made it, and the person in front of me would never become that person. I knew that, but... Even without that promise, I do still want to try to understand him.

“... Takumi.” He slipped his hands through the bars as much as he was able to. “Can you come here for a moment?” He closed his eyes behind his glasses. “I want to test a hypothesis.”

His fingers were a little cold and dry, probably from brushing against the pages of his book... He was touching my face like he was smoothing clay into a piece of pottery, brushing my cheek with his thumb... His fingers ghosted past my ear, and I got a tingly feeling in my brain, just like in my dream... Ah—I subconsciously nuzzled into his hand. Well, maybe semi-consciously...

“... I see.” His eyes were still closed. He kept touching me, delicately, with his dry, papery fingers... His hand slid from my jaw as he finally slunk back through the bars...

“—wait.” I closed my eyes. “Can you touch my hair? I want to test something, too.” His long fingers clumsily pushed through my messy hair on both sides, like he wasn’t sure what to actually do... Then his thumb brushed the shell of my ear, and he was pulling his nails through the ends of my hair, gently working his fingers through when he got caught on a knot, brushing my bangs out of my eyes... Treating me like a precious china vase that he was afraid to drop, but still desperately wanted to touch.

... It felt like something finally clicked. Even without that promise... I want to understand him.

百

百

百

I was listening to “Oasis in the 100” off the OST on repeat while writing Takumi and Yugamu’s scene up on the roof. It’s my favorite track so far, it hits the ear the right way with a blend of melancholy and tenderness. Kinda like “Sunset Bridge” from Persona 5 :)

Thank you guys for the hot tip on the prime 💅🌈 Yugamu content on that side of the flowchart, the “Killing Game” route did not disappoint XD Even if Takemaru hated me, I did get a screenshot of Yugamu saying he’s versatile and can top or bottom, so it was worth it X’D I mean—we been knew girl, but I appreciate that the developers threw that in there lol. And can’t forget Darumi’s “No boys allowed in the Yuri zone!” 🪷 And the KISS girls, my girl Tsubasa put her money where her mouth is! 💅 Now that I’ve seen the “Hope from Despair” ending, I can’t say I was expecting a bisexual polycule forming from a Killing Game route, but our sweet kids deserve it after all that 🥰💕 We’re really getting balanced representation, what with trans ally Takemaru, saying he’d be able to punch the AFAB folks if they “cracked their egg” and transitioned, because he’d respect them as real men :’) Someone on the localization team is like, really cool for that 💙🩷🤍

... Is it wrong that I’m essentially celebrating Eito being killed in cold blood to see such a 🏳️‍🌈 ending, in his own fic? 😂

Anyway lol—just a quick mention that I have to tweak some minor details of how things work, just to suit the narrative better. Like my goofy ass actually forgot that Shion’s flames only burn “organic matter” lol, but then again he also melted the doors to the Defense Room himself in the first timeline, so apparently the writers played fast and loose with that one, too XD It’s important that Shion is able to use his power more diversely, so we’ll just chalk that up to Takumi’s souped-up hemoanima influencing Shion’s even further, so he can melt inorganic matter if he concentrates hard enough :p They say he can read documents in ancient Futuran because of hemoanima, so the stuff can just do anything lol. Like Takumi being able to bring that Polaroid with him back in time—it’s explained that it’s more like he’s putting his consciousness back in his past self and not physically transporting back, but there’s no way I’m letting that Polaroid scene go D’X

I’ll tell ya, I thank the English localizers for being willing to translate all that dialogue—they did a pretty good job overall, but I did find it charming when every once in a while goofy stuff would slip through, like Dark Glasses Eito saying “walking around bling” instead of “blind” XD If anyone’s good with Photoshop, it’s free real estate lol

OH, so get this y’all—I was just vibing to the “Carousel” credits for the umpteenth time, and I finally noticed that Eito is played by freaking TAKAHIRO SAKURAI in Japanese, the guy who plays Crow from Trails of Cold Steel, one half of my OTP 🤯 Hot damn—like what are the odds?! (Spoilers for Cold Steel) It’s a good thing I didn’t know that going in, or it would’ve been a total spoiler that he’d stab me in the back! 😭😂 Geez—that’d be like casting Johnny Yong Bosch in English lol. I can’t believe—I listened to some of his scenes in Japanese, and he does play Eito more gentle and soft-spoken—and in Japanese Eito refers to himself with “boku”, which also would’ve given away that he’s secretly a serial killer XD Lol I can just picture the studio calling—“Sakurai-san, we’d like to offer you the role of another tall, fair-haired young man who has a quirky personality but seems really chill until he stabs the party in the back, then he comes crawling back after getting his ass whooped because he’s horny for twink swordsman MC.” And he was like, “I’m there yesterday, girls!!”

I do still like the English dub overall—Jay Rincon as Takumi is a standout, he’s really good with a wide range of emotion! Eito’s actor Nezar Alderazi gives him this almost strained higher register when he’s being disingenuous, which I think fits—like you can hear him code-switching in real time. They also have some pretty funny line reads—like when he’s low on health he goes, “Ah, my body.” But there’s like, no urgency or pain in the inflection, it’s just a very neutral observation XD I don’t know why I find it so funny—it’s like Yugamu’s flat, “I can’t wait.” You sound like you’re waiting for a bus, girl XD Lol I love it ♡

... okay, I think that’s all the notes I have for now lol. Thanks for reading, see ya next time! ^_^

Chapter Text

Chapter 5 – The “Other Me”

“Would you like some coffee, honey?”

I snapped back to the small square breakfast table. “Oh—yes, thank you.” I reached for my mug, but it wasn’t on the table.

Eito laughed lightly. “I have it right here...” He carefully poured the coffee from the French press into another glass, then delicately poured it into the mug I always used. Oh, right... He took that extra step to “decant” the coffee and cool it down first, I remember now. He said, “Any coffee snob worth his salt does it this way”...

He came over and set the mug in front of me on the table.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome—there’s plenty more if you want me to make you an iced coffee to take to work?”

“Oh... thank you, that sounds really good. I might just take you up on that.” I picked up my mug, looking at it in my palms... This was the mug I always used, but for some reason it looked a little different... Maybe it was getting discolored in the dishwasher.

He pulled out his chair and sat across from me. “Is everything all right?” His brows knit together.

I blew across my hot coffee, feeling the steam hitting my nose. “—I’m fine. I was just wondering if my mug was getting discolored in the dishwasher...”

“Oh, no...” He was eyeing my hands with a more forlorn expression than I thought a mug warranted. “Well—we can’t very well replace that one, so I’ll just take care to only wash it by hand.” He opened his laptop, which was sitting at the edge of the table—I hadn’t even noticed it.

“... Are you working?”

“Oh—don’t mind me, I’m just checking my case list to get a general idea of my day. Haha... Being able to work hybrid hours has its benefits for sure, but I always need to have self-discipline.”

“Oh... I see.” I tilted my mug slightly, but it still felt like the coffee was way too hot to take a sip. Oh... He didn’t ask me if I wanted cream, I don’t normally take my coffee black...

He closed his laptop. “There—it’s put away.” He smiled gently. “Please—eat up before it gets cold!” My eyes fell to the table—there was a full plate of food in front of me. I didn’t even see him set it down... This breakfast was kind of odd, it was like a mix of Japanese and Western-style food, with a bowl of rice with nori and a side of natto, right next to bacon strips and eggs sunny-side up... Did he always make food like this? I can’t remember... Did I make it? I’m not much of a cook...

Ah—something outside the kitchen window caught my eye. It was a purple bird, sitting on a branch—it looked like it was singing, but I couldn’t hear it. That’s too bad—it’s such a vibrant, unusual color—I would’ve like to hear what that bird’s singing sounded like.

“—phm!” I practically spit the coffee back into my mug—it was way too hot, it singed my tongue and left it all rough...

“Oh, dear—I’m sorry, was it still too hot for you?” He was up in a flash, getting the water filter out of the fridge. “Here—I’ll get you some water. Do you need ice?”

“—no, I’m fine.” I licked around the burned roof of my mouth. I could feel a little shred of skin between my teeth and my gums flopping loosely... “I’ll just take some cold water, thanks...”

He set the glass down in front of me. There was already condensation around the outside.

I just stared at it. “Um...”

“... What’s wrong?” He gently pushed back my hair, feeling my forehead with his palm. “Do you feel like you’re getting sick? You seem a little out of it...”

I tried wracking my brain, probing my memories—but I had nothing. This kitchen felt strange—it felt like I was zoomed out of my skull, looking down at myself sitting at this breakfast table that I didn’t recognize. Nothing was right... why was my mug this color?

“Honey?” He leaned down so his face was in my field of vision. His brows were sloped deeply in concern, his eyes searching my face. “Do you want to just call out of work? You don’t look very good.”

I licked my lips. “Um... Where do I work? What do I do?”

He stared at me for a second. “Haah...” He walked over to a corded telephone on the wall. “Don’t worry, I’ll call out for you—you’re in no shape to work, even if you don’t have a fever...” A corded phone? What decade is this, why would that be there? Why wouldn’t he just use his cell phone? His laptop looked really old and bulky, too...

“Eito?” I felt like I was about to cry. “What’s going on? I don’t understand... It feels like I just stepped into someone else’s life, I have no idea what’s going on...”

He hung up the phone. “Aha... It makes me a little sad when you call me by my name like that.”

“What?”

—ah—I bounced back on the mattress, like I just fell out of a nightmare. The room was pitch-black, my heart was racing—

“Gh—”

“—darling? Are you okay?” I could feel him rolling over in the darkness, pulling the sheets a little. “... What is it—did you have a bad dream?”

My heart was still pounding in my chest. “I guess so... I don’t really remember, it just felt like I was living in someone else’s life in their kitchen, and everything was wrong...”

He snickered lightly, pulling me to him under the blankets, and I just let him do it. He was really warm... “Well, I’m sure that was strange—but it doesn’t sound that bad, at least.” He pet the top of my hair.

“... I guess.” I closed my eyes, enjoying the simple feeling of him stroking my hair like that, his steadying heartbeat near my cheek... That felt a little too real to be a dream, but I guess that’s all it was... How bizarre. Eito was working from home, and I was... Actually I don’t even know what I did, he called out of work for me because I was sick. Or something... wait.

I swallowed, a heavy lump in my throat. “Um... What do I do? For work...”

He was quiet for a second, then snickered into my hair. “That’s a silly question... You know I make enough money for the both of us.”

For some reason—I had the overwhelming urge to push him away. This isn’t right—something’s so off about it, this person holding me feels like a stranger. Who are you?

“... I think I need some water.” My voice cracked a bit, my throat felt so dry and parched I could barely speak.

“... Are you getting sick?” He pushed my hair back, palming my forehead. “You don’t sound good at all—you just stay there, I’ll get you some water, darling...” “Darling”—was it “honey” or “darling”? Both of them felt wrong—didn’t Eito just call me by my name?

I watched from the bed as he padded out of the room, flicking a light on in living room. I quietly flipped the covers off of me, carefully getting out of bed so the mattress didn’t creak—I pushed open the door to the attached bathroom, locking it behind me. This bathroom felt strange, too... Everything was so white and clean, it was like a sterile hotel bathroom that didn’t feel lived-in at all.

I stared at myself in the mirror, curling my palms around the edge of the counter. I stared into my own eyes... I looked the same as always, just like I remember... No, I’m a little older—maybe in my mid-twenties? It’s hard to tell...

I was looking at my jaw at an angle when a knock on the door startled me. “Darling? I’m leaving your water on the nightstand, okay?”

I licked my lips. “... Okay.”

“... Would you like some tea with honey, or a cough drop?”

“—I’m fine.” I turned on the faucet. I already locked the door, right? I was fighting the urge to just bail out the window—maybe if I jumped and landed hard enough, I’d end up somewhere else... Ah—I thought I saw a flash of something out the window, like a little bird flying away in the darkness...

... The bedroom outside the bathroom was quiet. I turned off the faucet, listening for a pin drop. Nothing... Haah, what was I so freaked out over? It was just Eito, I’d been with him all this time...

I unlocked the door, and there was a short hallway on the other side.

“Wha—” I turned around—the door behind me was already closed. I reached for the handle, then a feeling of dread washed over me. I shouldn’t open this door... There’s no going back, wherever that was.

I padded out of the hallway into the kitchen. The kitchen was different... it looked like the sun had just barely come up outside. Soft blue early morning light was filtering in from the window, and Eito was sitting at the table by himself, drinking tea.

“Good morning...”

He was resolutely ignoring me, faced out the window. “... You don’t have anything else to say?”

I froze. “... What? About what?”

“Tch...” He clicked his tongue, setting down his earthenware cup. “How typical...”

“—I’m sorry.” I had no idea what I was apologizing for—but I felt I had to. “I want to talk it out with you, if I can...”

“There’s nothing to ‘talk out’.” He pushed up out of his chair. “I’m so tired of living like this—just because I work from home doesn’t mean you get to treat me like your live-in housekeeper. Griping that ‘dinner isn’t ready’ when I’ve been working all day, too—I never signed up to be your housewife.”

“—I’m sorry.” I just repeated it again. “I didn’t know you felt that way... I thought you liked making coffee and things like that, because there was a precise art to it...”

“... What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know—” I felt like I was going to cry. “I don’t even know where I am!”

He narrowed his eyes at me sharply. “What’s wrong with you? Do you need to get your head checked?” He threw the remaining liquid in his cup into the sink. “I’m taking the car—don’t wait up for me.” He grabbed his coat by the door. He’s not even talking like himself, his speech is so rough and short... “Or better yet—why don’t you ask your ‘friend’ to come over and comfort you?” He turned on me with a sharp glare. “Don’t think I don’t know about that, too.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about—I’d never do something like that!” I wiped my eye with my wrist. “Why are you being like this? What did I do?”

“Haha... There really is something wrong with you.” He threw open the door, slamming it behind him.

I was left dumbfounded in the middle of the kitchen, hearing his footsteps descending quickly down the outside stairs. What was that about—what “friend”?! Was I really that awful of a partner, treating him like a housekeeper? I don’t remember any of that—no, that’s not true—there’s no way I’d do any of that. That’s just not how I am...

I stalked back down the hallway, throwing open the bedroom door—

“—oh! You startled me, haha...” A tall woman was looking at herself in the mirror, breathing a sigh of relief while clutching a hand to her chest. Whoa—she looked just like Eito, but with long hair—did he have a twin sister? I don’t remember him ever saying something like that—plus, what would she be doing changing in our bedroom?

“Sorry...” I padded into the bedroom, somehow feeling like I was intruding...

“It’s all right—you just flung the door open so suddenly, did you forget I was in here?” She laughed lightly. She really did look just like Eito...

“Sorry—I shouldn’t be flinging the door open, anyway.” For some reason, I felt like it was okay if I approached her... I stood behind her, looking in the mirror while she smoothed down the front of her blouse. It was a really soft-looking pastel purple turtleneck, fuzzy like a sweater but with thinner material. Almost a “periwinkle” color, like the undertone of her eyes—oh, I get it. She was Eito, she just looked a little different.

“... Hmm.” She turned to the side, smoothing down her top some more. “You don’t think... This outfit looks a bit ‘matronly’? Like a kindergarten school teacher...”

“What do you mean?” I watched the flow of her long white skirt as she fanned the pleats with her hand, giving it some movement in the mirror. “I think you look stunning—the long skirt makes you look really statuesque, like a model.”

“Haha... You’re just saying that, my love.” “My love”... that was different. It felt so intimate...

I wrapped my arms around her waist from behind—I felt a little silly since she was so much taller than me, but just watching her shy smile in the mirror as she touched my arms made it worth it. “I’m not just saying that—I think it suits you. It’s a very ‘sweet’ outfit, like my Mom would say—I think it brings out your gentleness, but you also look so... ethereal?” Maybe that was laying it on a little thick—but something about her made it seem like she was floating and untouchable...

“Hmm... Well, even if you’re just trying to flatter me, I’ll take it.” Her sly smile was so inviting... her lips were really soft, and I liked the way her long nails felt lightly brushing my arm... It felt like she was floating and untouchable, and the only person who could possibly keep up with her was me... This felt nice, maybe it’d be okay if I stayed here for a while...

When I opened my eyes, she was lying next to me with a lamp turned on on the nightstand. The bedroom had a soft amber glow, and I could hear crickets chirping outside the cracked-open window... What a relaxing night.

“Look.” She clasped our hands. “I learned a little trick from Darumi—” She gave my hand a squeeze. “Notice anything different?”

I gazed at our clasped hands. “Your nail polish...” It was a pale lilac color, it made her fingers look really delicate.

“Haha, you’re getting warm—look a little closer...”

“Um... Oh no, did two of your nails break off?”

She sighed. “Well, they didn’t break off... I filed them down so I won’t poke you so much next time.” She kissed the back of my hand. “Now I’m a little embarrassed that I called so much attention to it...”

“Oh... I see.” Um... poke me where??

“Haha... Sorry for being so forward. I guess I’m still clumsy at inviting you...” Aww—well, that just made me feel bad... I didn’t think it was clumsy at all, I can tell she’s trying her best. “Inviting me”, huh...

I kissed her with our clasped hands held to my heart, slowly at first, then a little deeper... “Mn...” I can’t tell if that was me or her—she was a really good kisser, it felt like she knew what she was doing—I really liked the way her nails felt pushing through my hair... “Mnn...” She was sweeping me up in her pace, I just wanted to go along with whatever she wanted...

“Hehe...” She snickered against my lips. “You’re being unusually cute tonight, my love...” She rolled on top and hovered above me, her silky hair spilling around my face. “It reminds me of when we first met...” Her kiss was so confident, like she was leading me around by the nose... “I’ll be sure to love you thoroughly tonight...” Was that something she’d normally say?! It sounds like something out of a naughty manga... “Hehe—thanks to my new manicure, I can take my time warming you up...” She gave me a real sloppy kiss, pulling some spit off her tongue. “I hope you’ll be able to take all of me, my love...” Wah—her fingers were so slick, I’ve never been touched there before—was this okay?! It felt like things were moving too fast—

A bracing wind blew past me, and my eyes shot open—my vision stung from the bright light reflecting off all the snow, a pure white landscape as far as the eye could see, blanketing every surface of the city.

“Hoo...” Eito shivered beside me, clasping my gloved hand with his. “I’m glad we made it, but I won’t complain if we wrap this up quickly...” He smiled sideways at me, his chin hidden by a thick scarf. “Would you like to stop by the public bath to warm up afterwards?” He was wearing dark sunglasses...

For some reason, my heart was beating all fast... Was I spacing out having weird thoughts? We were just going to the shrine to pray for New Year’s...

“Oh—that sounds nice.” My brain finally caught up that he asked me a question. “I haven’t been to the public bath in a while.”

We walked towards the shrine, with a modest line in front to ring the bell, our shoes crunching over the snow... It was still pretty bright out here, maybe that’s why he was wearing sunglasses...

The shrine bell sounded solemn as it rang out over the temple grounds... For some reason, I didn’t want to keep walking towards it. Something about this was wrong...

“Please don’t let go of my hand.” I squeezed his hand tight. It felt like he might melt like the snow if I let go. “I don’t want to lose you...”

“Takumi—what are you talking about? Haha... It’s a little difficult for me to walk in snow, but I’m not about to fall and break my neck, I promise...” He laughed with some uneasiness. “... Takumi?”

“... Let’s go.” I turned back around, dragging him by the hand. “Let’s just forget it—I just want to go home.”

“Ah, Takumi—wait! Didn’t you want to make a wish?”

“It’s fine—I don’t believe in that stuff anyway.”

“But—” Agh—the sun reflecting off the snow is killing me, I can barely look at it...

I opened my eyes, a twisting trail of smoke snaking up into the cool night sky. What—ew, since when do I smoke?!

I quickly dropped the cigarette, stamping it out on the concrete. Ugh—nasty. What was I thinking? I just came outside to cool my head and enjoy the night breeze...

I closed the sliding door behind me, walking back into the living room. I could hear that the TV was on—some kind of dry documentary about something or other.

Eito was sitting on the couch with his legs folded under him, with a glass of wine in hand. He barely looked up at me as I walked into the living room, turning back to the TV. I looked around the table for another glass, but there wasn’t one... the bottle on the table looked mostly-empty.

I went to sit next to him on the couch, and he scooted away with an annoyed huff. “What are you doing?” He settled down near the arm of the couch, as far away from me as he could get, his body language completely closed off. “I told you to just treat me like a ‘roommate’ until the lease is up.”

“... Why?” I swallowed. “What did I do?”

“Haah...” He palmed his forehead in annoyance. “Not this again... Look, I said that I’d keep paying my share of the rent and utilities, just to keep things from getting messy. So the least you could do is leave me alone and give me my space.” He sipped his wine like I wasn’t even there. He sounded so cynical, so tired...

“What did I do to make you hate me so much?” My voice barely came out. “What kind of person was I?”

He was looking at me with disbelief, his brows furrowed deeply. “Haha—what is this?” He was laughing joylessly. “Have you been sleepwalking all this time? Are you going to try to say ‘the devil made me do it’?” His eyes narrowed sharply. “You were there—don’t try to claim that you weren’t in control of your own actions. Every day, you needled me and broke me down a little more—now that there’s nothing left, you don’t get to complain that you ‘didn’t mean it.’” He stretched to grab the wine bottle from the table. “Now—leave me alone. Go call your ‘special friend’ if you’re so desperate for company.”

I felt like I was going to cry again. “How did I push you away? Where did I go wrong?”

His eyes scrunched closed behind his glasses. “Haah... You really want to talk about this?” He poured himself more wine. “... Fine. You know, I’ve been given a lot of tools to understand people like you from my therapist.” He smiled joylessly, taking a sip of wine. “People like you seek out people like me—someone who was inexperienced and desperate to be loved, and willing to put up with anything because they don’t know any better.” My heart wrenched hearing him say that. “I thought you were so sincere... You really had me fooled that you were different from all the others. It felt like you were the only person in the world who understood me... That’s how you got your claws into me, then it was easy for you to start isolating me from all my family and friends—you were my whole world, and I was so desperate to please you and so afraid to lose you—I even went so far as changing myself, putting myself on another career path, dropping my priorities to fit the life you wanted—every day you took more from me and gave less and less back, but I took it all and put up with it because I thought no one else would be able to love me. Tch—” He furiously wiped his eye under his glasses. “Ugh—I really hate you. I hate you so much, it makes me sick to still be in this house with you—”

“Then why don’t you just leave?” I was crying too, my voice came out hoarse. “If I treated you so badly—just leave, why are you still here?! Forget about the lease—if there’s a fee for breaking it, I’ll pay it—”

“I don’t have anywhere else to go!” He was pressing his palms into his eyes, his glasses fell off his head into his lap. “There is no one else—you made sure of that! Tch—I really hate you... I don’t have anyone else besides you...”

“I’m sorry—” I was wiping the stinging tears from my eyes. “I’m sorry—if I could take it all back, I would...” My vision was blurry—ow, my eyes hurt, it felt like I was grinding a loose eyelash into my eye...

“Oh, darling—is something the matter?” A voice called out from behind me—

I whipped over my shoulder, and Eito was there. He was still wearing his suit, with his jacket over his arm—he must’ve just gotten home from work. I didn’t even hear him come in...

“Oh...” I quickly wiped my eyes. “I’m fine... I was just watching TV.” My eyes darted to the TV—it was off.

“Haha... I see.” He circled around the back of the couch, and I got a sudden pang of nerves, I almost flinched—what was that? “You were watching TV? Was it something you didn’t want me to see, so you turned it off when I came in? Aha...”

“What?”

He was smiling down at me. “Why don’t you turn on the TV? I want to see what was making you so upset...”

I was frozen for a second, then I reached for the remote, fumbling with the button... It was one of those dumb game shows where they lose if the other person makes them laugh, I don’t even remember watching that...

“Aha...” Eito took the remote from me, resolutely turning off the TV. “You must’ve been laughing so hard, you were crying... That’s the only explanation, right?” He set the remote down calmly. Then he raked his nails through my hair with one hand... It made my skin crawl, it didn’t feel good at all—“After all—I’ve provided you with such a big house... I pay all the bills, all your needs are met—” His smile was terrifying. “You have such a privileged life, thanks to your darling husband—what could you possibly have to be upset about?”

My heart was beating fast, but I didn’t want to upset him... It’s true that we did live in this big house, and he worked hard every day so that I didn’t have to... We had a good life, and had a lot of privileges...

I nuzzled my cheek into his hand. “I know that... Thanks for working so hard every day for us, honey.”

His hand stopped. “What was that?”

“Um—I said thank you for working so hard...”

“Aha... What was that last part? Who’s ‘honey’?” He gripped his forehead. “Aha... You’ve never once called me that. I told you to call me ‘darling’, didn’t I?” But—that wasn’t right, he called me “honey” before—wasn’t he a lawyer or something, didn’t he just go into the firm today? “Who’ve you been talking to?” He wrenched my hair—

“Ow—that hurts, let go!”

“Who’s ‘honey’? Huh?! Have you been talking to someone else behind my back?”

“No—of course not! Ah—stop it, there’s no one, it was an accident!” I was shaking all over—with him standing above me like that, I couldn’t get away—“I’m sorry!”

... He finally let me go. “Aha... I’m sorry, darling—you just frightened me when you called me something like that! You’re so precious to me... I just don’t want to lose you.” He cupped my chin, tilting my face up to look at him—I felt sick, I just wanted to jump up and run away. “Is everything all right? Have you not been feeling well?”

“—No, I haven’t.” I licked my lips before I could help it. “I think I need to lay down—I haven’t been feeling good at all.”

“... I see.” He finally let my face go, loosening his tie. “I’ll bring you a glass of water—if you’re still not feeling well, you should go lay down, and I’ll have some porridge made.”

“... Thank you. Darling.” It gave me bad goosebumps when I said it.

He cupped my cheek like he was going to pinch it. “That’s more like it.” He went away, and I heard him set his briefcase down somewhere. I was trying to calm my frantic heartbeat—it’s okay, he forgave me, I’m just going to lay down, and everything will be back to normal...

My eyes were darting all around the long decorative windows, past the deck to the lake far below... The trees looked like they stretched on forever in the distance.

Ah—a little bird was singing outside the window. It was hopping back and forth on a branch, flapping its wings like it was trying to get my attention... I couldn’t hear it. It’s too bad... I would’ve liked to hear what such a pretty purple bird sounded like when it sang...

Its beady white eye was looking right at me, its throat warbling as it sang, its beak wide open... What is it? Are you trying to tell me something...?

“Here, darling.” Eito came back around without his jacket, holding out a glass of water for me.

“Oh—thank you.” I reached for it, but stopped. Maybe it was the light, but... the tap water almost looked cloudy, like there were particles swirling in it catching the light... We were on well water out here, weren’t we? It shouldn’t look like that...

“What’s the matter? I don’t want you to get a headache—you’re probably just dehydrated.” He kept holding the glass out for me.

I stared at it... I didn’t want to take it. This was wrong, it was all wrong—I need to get out of here.

I shoved the glass back into his stomach, jumping up off the couch and making a break for it—“Gah—Takumi?! Get back here!!” He roared, my heart was pounding in my ears as I flew down the stairs, almost tripping as I heard him right behind me—I have to run, I have to get away!! “Where do you think you’re going?!”

I ran across the foyer—that has to be the front door, there have to be neighbors around here—

His arm slammed against the door, trapping me. “What do you think you’re doing?! You ungrateful little...”

“Don’t touch me!” I shoved him away, my palms hitting his soaked dress shirt—I squirmed out from under his arm and booked it—

“Takumi! Stop!” My vision was tunneling as I ran through the study, slamming into the door and scrambling out into the backyard. The hill sloped down to the lake—there was a house through the trees on the other side of the fence, I just had to run—“Takumi! Get back inside—I’m sorry, let’s talk about this!”

I ran for the fence, fumbling to unlock the gate, running around the side of the house to the front yard—I heard the gate slam and ricochet, then he grabbed me by the shoulder—

“Let me go!” I pushed him away from me, but he had me firm by the arm—

“What’s gotten into you?! Keep your voice down!” He hissed, pulling me to him. I kept pushing him, but he had me in a vice grip, tightening his hand painfully around my arm.

“Ow—stop it, you’re hurting me!”

“Do you want the neighbors to hear?! Be quiet!” His eyes were wild, his mouth tight as he hissed through gritted teeth. “You’ll shut up and get inside if you know what’s good for you—don’t you dare embarrass me in front of the neighbors!”

“HELP! HELP ME!! HE’S CRAZY!!” I just started shrieking, I couldn’t even recognize my own voice, it hurt echoing back in my ears—

“Quiet! Stop it—are you insane?!” I finally saw a flash of fear in his eyes—the thought of the neighbors running over, seeing what he’s like, what he’s doing to me—

I took that split second to wrench myself from his grasp, running for my life across the front yard—

“Takumi!!”

I saw the sprinkler too late, hitting it hard with my bare foot, flying to meet the ground—

“Oh, Takumi!” She was at my side in a second, gently touching my shoulder. “Are you all right? What happened?!”

I blinked, blearily rolling onto my back... “Oh... it’s you. Thank God...” My palms were was throbbing with pain, and my foot was aching...

“You shouldn’t move...” She pressed a hand over my shoulder. “Did you lose your balance, or pass out? I’m sorry—I was busy with the vending machine, I didn’t even see what happened...” She checked my pulse on my wrist. “Is it low blood pressure, maybe... Or low blood sugar?” Her face was pale with worry. “Should I just call an ambulance?”

“No—no.” I pushed myself up on my elbows... ah, I don’t even know what happened, I must’ve tripped or something... “I’m fine... I guess I tripped. My palms hurt a little, so I must’ve stopped myself before I hit my head...”

“Oh, dear... Are you sure you don’t want to stop by the clinic, just in case? I’ll drive...”

“No, I’m okay—” I stopped short. I was about to call her “honey”... was that wrong? Was it “darling”? Heugh—why did that make my skin crawl just thinking about it...

The worry still hadn’t left her eyes. “Well... all right, if you insist.” She helped me to my feet. “Here—it’s just tea.” She handed me a nice cool bottle from the refrigerated vending machine. “Don’t worry about the blanket—I’ll fix it.” Oh... there was a blanket laid out on the grass with a canvas bag on top, the edges were all blown up by the wind—maybe I tripped when I was laying out the blanket, that must’ve been it...

She went around fixing all corners, smoothing them out in the grass. I broke the seal on my tea, taking a swig while absently surveying the scenery around the park. It was a sunny day but not too hot, just pleasantly warm without a jacket—some kids were riding bikes down the paved path, an older couple was walking their dog... I’m glad we came out today, even though I haven’t been feeling well, lately.

“Oh, shoot...” She was stretching a spot on her long white dress.

“What is it?”

“I think I got a grass stain on my dress... haah. I knew I should’ve changed before we left.” Her eyes scrunched behind her glasses.

“I’m sorry—I’m sure you can get it out when we get home.”

“I suppose... It’s still just disappointing.” She tucked her hair behind her ear. “... Maybe I’m too wound up because it’s our first date in a while.”

“Aww—well, the date’s not ruined because of a little grass stain.” I walked over the blanket to her, reassuringly clasping her hand. “Honestly—I wouldn’t even have noticed it, if you hadn’t pointed it out.” Her outfit was so simple—a long ankle-length strappy sundress with buttons down the front, with a black long-sleeve blouse underneath—the simple elegance of it just made her look more beautiful, in my eyes. “You look really cute—I’m glad you didn’t change.”

“‘Cute’, you say...”

“Haha...” I suddenly felt a bit embarrassed. “Well, actually, I was thinking you were ‘beautiful’, but I didn’t want you to think I was laying it on too thick...”

“Oh, dear—well, you should’ve just been honest then, my love.” “My love”—that’s right, that’s what it was. Why did I think anything else?

“Damn—look at that tall-ass dude in the dress.”

“Gross—do these people ever think they’re fooling anyone?”

Two punk-ass dudes strolled past on the path, snickering while stinking up the park with their nasty cigarette.

“Keep dreaming—my lady would never even give you the time of day. So quit looking.” I glared sharply at them.

“Ooh—nice comeback.” The guy with the cigarette put up his hands in mock-surrender. “Nobody wants your okama ‘girlfriend’, dude.”

“Hehe...” They snickered annoyingly, walking out of earshot.

She had a gentle smile tinged with annoyance. “Let’s sit down—the food should still be nice and warm.” She let go of my hands and tucked her dress under her legs, sitting in a seiza.

“Okay... I’m sorry.”

She opened the canvas bag. “You have nothing to apologize for, my love.” She brought out two bento boxes, and some nice chopsticks. “I’ve gotten a lot of use out of this bag since you got it for me—it’s especially nice when I want to keep my food warm before my first break.”

“Oh—good.” I was dying to be able to change the subject. Wait... what did she do for work? I can’t remember...

She didn’t open her bento right away. “... I suppose it was sweet of you to say something to ‘defend my honor’—but I really wish you didn’t bother.” She pushed up her glasses. “I’m so used to tuning it out—it isn’t even worth it to give them the attention.”

“I’m sorry... I couldn’t just stand there and say nothing.”

Her smile was tinged with tired sadness. “I know—that’s just how you are.” She put her hand on my knee. “But next time—just ignore it. Please don’t bother.”

“Okay... if that’s what you want. My love...” I made the split-second decision to tack it on at the end, it sounded so forced and awkward...

“Haha... I like it when you call me by my name.” She tucked her hair behind her ear. “It’s reassuring to hear it every day.” Sure... Um... what is her name?! Is it “Eito”? Did she change it? What would she change it to—Eiko? Eitsuko? Neither of those felt right... “Is everything all right?”

“Yeah—I think I’m just getting a headache, sorry...” Agh—think, think! What is her name—I can’t hurt her feelings like this...

Pain burst in the middle of my forehead—when I opened my eyes, he was sprawled out on my lap on the couch, his arm hanging off the edge.

“You really mean it this time?” His face was slightly flushed, he was obviously drunk. The wine glass and the bottle on the table were both empty. “You’re going to change?”

My brain still felt like it was going to split in two—“Of course—I don’t want to hurt you anymore.” What did I even do—how did I get to be so horrible in the first place?

“Haha... Do you reeeaaally mean that this time?” He reached up, clumsily cupping my cheek. “I don’t want to have to start over with someone else...” His eyes closed. “Even if you’re lying, it doesn’t matter...” What?! Of course it matters—if I’m so horrible to you, you can’t just believe me when I say “I’ll change” and forgive me—why is your self-esteem so bad?! “Hey... why don’t we go to the bedroom?” What—don’t just get drunk and have sloppy make-up sex with someone who treats you like dirt, please have a little more self-respect—

“No—I think you’ve had enough, you should go to bed.”

He was peering up at me blearily, in shock. “... I see.” His eyes closed. “You really are kind, Takumi... Almost too kind.” What?!

“Ow—” My vision blurred from the white-hot pain—

“Honey? What’s the matter?”

“Agh—I don’t know. My head hurts...” I was practically in tears from the pain, my vision blurry from wincing.

He gently touched my forehead. “You don’t feel like you have a fever... Maybe try taking some ibuprofen and see if that helps. I can take a break to drive you to the hospital, if you need it...”

I was struggling to even see his face clearly... “You’re one of the normal ones, right?”

“What?” He laughed a bit. “What does that mean? Normal, compared to who?”

“... I don’t know...”

His brows knit in concern. “You’re really not looking good... I’m making the executive decision to call out of work for you.” That’s fine... I don’t even know where I work. Wait—didn’t he already do that? “Come on... Let’s get you back to bed. Do you think you can eat?” He led me away, and I was staring at the breakfast table... Didn’t I eat already, wasn’t there weird food that didn’t match on the table? “I can make you some porridge, at least.”

“—no, no porridge.” My eyes scrunched closed. “I don’t need any water, either.”

“Well, you should drink something. How about some herbal tea?” He opened the bedroom door. Ah—I don’t want to go through the door and end up somewhere else, I just want to stay here... “Honey?” He stopped in the doorway, holding my hand.

“I don’t want to go anywhere...” I wiped my eye. “I don’t understand why this is happening...”

“Why what’s happening? It’s all right... You’re just sick, you’ll feel better after resting.” He wrapped me up in a hug. “I’ll take care of it if you need anything, so just take it easy...”

“What about your cases?” That’s right—he was a social worker, not a lawyer...

He laughed lightly. “What about them?” He guided me to sit down on the bed. “You just rest... I’ll make you some tea.”

“But—”

“No ‘buts’. Just let me take care of you...” He ran his hands gently through my hair, standing between my legs at the edge of the bed. I let my eyes close...

“That feels nice...”

“You understand, don’t you?” He was pulling a little hard when his fingers ran into knots in my hair... “Why I can’t let you work, and have your spirit broken day after day dealing with the most stupid people alive...” I froze up—this wasn’t him, it was someone else... “Every time I get on the prosecution bench, I have to lock eyes with the scum of the earth... Sometimes I get them, but sometimes they slip through my fingers like slippery little eels...” He wrenched my hair. “Every time I have to let one of those loathsome dredges of pond scum go free—” He cut himself off. “So... You understand why I need you here, right? You’re my only place to come back to... It steals a little bit of my soul every day to have to walk among them—to drink their coffee, touch their dirty money, smile and say ‘hello’ and ‘good morning’ and ‘how are you’, as if I could possibly care with one iota of my being—that’s why I need you here, you can’t be tainted by the outside world like I am, because then, I wouldn’t even know what to do...”

I was trembling all over. I need to run—I don’t know what he’s going to do. Why didn’t I leave?! Why didn’t I run away, pound on the neighbor’s door, buy a one-way bus ticket somewhere, anywhere?!

“You understand, right? Without you, I feel like I’d just go crazy...”

“... I understand.” I squeezed my eyes shut. I don’t want to be here, I don’t want to be here—take me anywhere else, please...

The bell chimed. “Takumi—it’s our turn.” He laughed lightly. “Are you already praying? There’s a specific order you’re supposed to do these things in, right?”

My eyes cracked open—the snow littering the shrine was blinding. I couldn’t see his eyes behind his dark glasses.

“Don’t go anywhere... please.”

“Uh oh, is that your wish? Aha... If you say it out loud, it won’t come true, you know...”

I stepped up to the shrine, fishing some yen out of my pocket in a daze. My heart was pounding in my ears. The coins bounced off the wooden slots of the offering box as they disappeared inside. I reached up and pulled the rope to ring the bell... I bowed deeply twice, then closed my eyes and clapped my palms together.

“I just want everyone to survive.”

That’s my only wish.

“I just want everyone to live—I want Takemaru to not have to sacrifice himself, I want Hiruko to be able to trust others, I want Tsubasa to be free to live her life how she wants, I want Darumi to be able to feel that life is worth living, I want Gaku to never have to worry about money again, I want Shouma to finally understand his own worth, I want Ima and Kako to live a comfortable life without being exploited, I want Yugamu to be able to start over with a clean slate, I want Kyoshika to find her life’s true purpose off the battlefield, I want Kurara to know that the person inside is good enough, I want Moko to never run out of cheering fans, I want Nozomi... I want Nozomi to...”

A tear rolled down my cheek.

“Haha... That’s your wish?” He stepped up next to me, and a shiver ran down my spine. “Aha... You really are kind, Takumi... Almost too kind.” He wrapped his arms around me, like a black sludge about to swallow me and spirit me away. “What about me? Where’s your wish for my happiness? Do I have any room in your heart?”

I heard a bird warbling desperately, flapping its wings like a fan—

My eyes shot open, and she was sitting at the edge of the bed in tears.

“I know what I look like...” Her strappy nightgown was stretched across her chest. “Even if I got top and bottom surgery, I’d never be able to change my bone structure... What’s the point? Do you even still find me attractive...?” What?! Of course I do—don’t be ridiculous! “... are you regretting staying with me?”

“Of course not—you’re all I see! Everyone else is wrong.”

She looked up at me with bloodshot eyes. “Aha... You’re so kind, Takumi. Almost too kind...” Stop saying that, please...

My vision blurred with tears... two hands cupped both sides of my face.

“Darling.”

I felt his face so close to mine. I was afraid to open my eyes.

“... Takumi. It’s hard for me to be this close to you... So look at me. Look at me...”

The ceiling light stung my eyes. He was bearing down on me from the edge of the bed, and he leaned down so that our faces were an inch apart.

“What do you see, when you look into my eyes?”

He leaned me back on the bed, hovering over me both too close and so far away. He took off his glasses. His whole face was in shadow, his frightening blue eyes were the only thing that existed.

“I was born into a wealthy family... My parents were professionals in their field, and highly-respected... I could pursue any passions I wanted, learn any skills I wanted, take up any of the arts I wanted, have any private lessons I wanted... I could have had anything. I never wanted for anything...” His eyes were all I saw. “... Do you see it?” His eyes were everything, everywhere, all at once. “Do you see how the world looked to me? Do you see how I looked in my parents’ eyes... ‘There’s something wrong with our child’?” My whole body was shaking. “‘No one can find out about this... Threaten that doctor if you have to. He won’t be able to go to school... He can’t be around normal children. Our child isn’t normal... This is your fault. No, this is your fault, with the way your family is... Why did I have to give birth to such a child? Why can’t you just be normal? Just shut up—don’t tell us what you see anymore. It’s not real—there’s something wrong with your brain. You’re wrong. It isn’t real... I don’t want to hear it. Don’t tell me what I look like to you. The doctor says there’s nothing they can do... Just shut up, stop telling me about it. You’re wrong...’” His eyes were so close, I could see everything. “Do you see how you look, in my eyes?”

So many Eitos flashed in my mind, so many images—a frightened child, a shy smile, yelling parents, a silhouette in the doorway, hysterical tears, laughter, a gravestone, an explosion, an empty library, the ceiling of a sterile room... And monsters, so many monsters, I was paralyzed to stand up to a single one... I saw an angel of death, a charred black skeleton with scraps of flesh hanging off, extending a patient hand ready to take me away... Oh, no... That was me, I was taking him away. That’s what I looked like, in his eyes...

Sweltering purple flame swirled all around me—the cavernous Defense Room was melting into itself, steel beams crashing to the ground, glass shattering from the internal pressure. Sweat was beading on my forehead, in my scalp—Eito was calmly walking towards the pod, protected by a wall of flame in a last-ditch effort to keep him away.

“Eito!” I readied my sword.

He calmly turned towards me, his scythe relaxed at his side. Without a word, he raised his arms, and his Class Armor disappeared and melted away. He started calmly walking towards me, never breaking eye contact—his hands weren’t up in surrender, his arms were out to the sides, as if he was beckoning me, welcoming me.

“Don’t come any closer!”

He raised a hand to his heart, walking towards me. “Takumi.” I could barely hear his gentle voice over the roaring flames. “Right here... make sure you get me right here.” He smiled. “Don’t miss.”

“Stay away from me!”

“Haha... I thought you came here to stop me?” He kept walking closer, his hand pressed over his heart. “I’m right here... so take me. Haha... You said you’d ‘take me with you’, forever and ever...”

“Stay back!!”

I leveled my sword at him, but he just kept coming, with that frighteningly calm smile. “I’m right here...” He gripped the end of my blade, his palm slicing open—he wrenched it into his chest, pushing himself around the blade—“—gh!” Blood exploded everywhere—

“Stop it!!” I tried to let go or wrench back my sword, but my hands were—

“Kh... hehe...” He kept moving, pulling my sword deeper into his chest, blood was spurting out of his mouth. “This is just what you wanted... that’s why you’re here...” He gripped both sides of my face, his fingers slipping in the blood, his manic eyes piercing into mine. “So savor it all—!” He forced our mouths together, pushing his hot blood into my mouth, the sour metallic taste made me gag—

“Gh—keugh—!” I clawed his hands, kicked him—he had me rooted to the spot, regurgitating all his blood into me—I couldn’t move, I couldn’t fight him—

“Takumi.” There was a warm burning sensation around my ears. “It’s all right—it isn’t real.” That gentle voice—Shion?!

“—?!” I jerked awake—where am I?!

“Shion?!” I scrambled up—I was in my room, in the prefab hut at Last Defense Academy... Oh my God—was all that just a dream?!

“Oh, dear...” A relaxed voice made my skin crawl—he was there, sitting on my sofa like he owned the place. “You just had to go and spoil my fun—can’t you just be a good child and dream away in your little pod?”

“How did you get in here?!” I shot to my feet. My heart was pounding in my chest, I felt like I was having a heart attack—

“Ah, Takumi—” Shion gently reached an arm out, as if to block my path. “It’s all right—he isn’t really there. Although, I suppose that may not be much comfort...”

“Hehe... ‘How did I get here?’” Eito nonchalantly crossed one of his long legs. “I’ve always been here... Haven’t you felt me all this time?” He put a hand over his own heart. “Right here, Takumi... I’m sure you remember... that intimate moment when you stabbed me in the heart and sucked up all my hemoanima for yourself.”

“That—I did that to stop you, you were out of control!”

He pushed up his glasses. “Is that what you tell yourself?” His eyes glinted darkly, with a terrifying smile. “How about all of those other times, Takumi? I hadn’t actually done anything... All you had was the knowledge of what ‘some other me’ might do in a possible future... You just killed me in cold blood, because I was inconvenient for your plans.”

“What are you talking about?! I’ve never done that—we spared your life and put you in the cage when I came back!”

He was looking right through me. “Oh, dear... So you don’t remember? Aha...” His laugh was making my skin crawl. “Were those ‘bad memories’ just too hard for you to bear? Did you erase them from your mind to protect yourself? Aha... That won’t do at all, Takumi...” He dipped into the couch, his arms spread along the back. “I need you to remember all those times we shared... Didn’t it feel like we were the only two people left in the world? Aha... Well, I suppose in some of those timelines, that was literally true.” My hands were shaking, a clammy sweat breaking out all over—what was he talking about? That couldn’t possibly be true... There’s no way... “In the end, you’re just like me... Your holier-than-thou attitude is just theater for yourself so you can keep going—but I know you. Because, I am you...”

“Don’t take his words to heart, Takumi.” Shion grasped my hands—ah, he could actually touch me. “I know what kind of person you are—I’ve seen everything. I believe in you.”

“Who asked you?!” Eito gripped his forehead, clenching his teeth. “Who said you could be here—I’m sick of you always popping up where you don’t belong—know your place!! You useless little—”

“Haah...” Another calm voice sighed from the corner of the room. “And here I was trying to bow out gracefully...”

Another Eito walked in from the shadows—it was him, he was wearing his dark glasses.

“It’s you...” I couldn’t stop the tears from welling up. “You’re back... Where have you been all this time?”

He gripped his own arms in discomfort. “I haven’t gone anywhere... but I’m also not ‘back’. Once I’m done here, I’m going to take my exit again... it’s only fair.” He walked over to stand beside me.

“What are you doing?!” The other Eito spat through grit teeth. “How are you able to get so close?!”

“Haah... Have you noticed, Takumi? That ‘other me’ can’t even get up off the couch... He can’t get any closer to you than this.” He took my hand, with a soft smile on his face. I noticed a gold smudge of paint on the bottom of his glasses—it really was him.

“Shut up—what’s with you?! Where’s your pride? How can you—”

“Just shut up for a moment, please.” He pat my hand, not even turning to look at the other Eito. “Haha... I suppose I don’t have any pride left, that’s why I can see things that you don’t.” The other Eito grit his teeth from the back of the room. “When you’re so consumed with something that you think about it every waking moment, and all of your motivations start swirling around it... Then what’s the difference? Haha... There’s a very fine line between love and hate.”

The other Eito was stunned into silence.

“Aha... How boring, I thought you’d bite back a little more than that... It isn’t really that shocking, you know.”

“Is there really such a fine line between ‘love’ and ‘hate’?” Shion was looking up in the corner of his mind. “I suppose I’ve never experienced either... I’ve never ‘resented’ anything, not even my fate... Oh—but I am quite fond of you, Takumi—I don’t know if that counts.” He smiled brightly.

“Haah... I suppose it’s too much to ask for some privacy.” Eito pushed up his dark glasses, hitting that exact spot with the gold paint smudge. “Well—at any rate, that’s all I wanted to say. That one was just getting too noisy—”

“Wait—” I tugged on his hand. “Don’t go, please—I can’t fulfill my promise if you’re not here.”

He paused for a moment. “I’m sorry, Takumi... That just won’t be possible. Oh, but—you can take comfort in knowing that it’s no longer possible for me to ‘go’ anywhere, either. Haha... I’ve been right here with you the whole time, after all.”

“Really?” Oh—I knew that, why was I even asking?

“Haha... It’s no longer possible for ‘this’ me to receive anything from you, not even a fulfilled promise. But... that’s what that ‘other me’ down there in the cage is for, right? Aha...” He pushed up his glasses, turning away. “Although I can’t say that I’m not just a little bit jealous...”

“You’re jealous of yourself?” Shion’s eyes widened just a bit. “But that doesn’t make any sense... Can’t you just be happy for yourself?”

He pushed up his glasses again, even though they never slipped.

“... This is ridiculous.” The Eito on the couch finally spoke up—apparently he was done stewing. “This is insane... You’re just going to let Takumi get away with that?!”

“Haah... You really are stubborn. Is that really what I sound like? How exhausting...”

“Wait.” I finally padded over to where he was sitting on the couch. He stared up at me, sunken into the couch with an unreadable expression. “... I don’t know everything yet, but I’m starting to understand.” I gently cupped both sides of his face, leaning down to look in his eyes. “In your eyes, it’s the whole world that’s wrong, not you... I’m finally starting to understand.”

His eyes searched mine. I know he couldn’t see me—I’ve seen what I looked like to him. But—I won’t stop patiently reaching out my hand.

Ah—he disappeared, like a puff of smoke.

“Oh...” Eito seemed at a loss for words behind me. “It’s lighter in here...”

“Hm-hm...” Even Shion laughed lightly. “There’s no need for words, as even that Eito’s a part of you now—he understands how you feel.”

“Really?” Oh—I already knew that.

I saw him walking back into the shadows out of the corner of my eye...

“Wait!” I ran across the floor, slamming into his back, wrapping my arms around his chest. “Do you have to go... this isn’t fair.”

“Aha... Well, I think it’s only ‘fair’ to the me that’s still here if I never show myself again.” He touched my hand. “Don’t you think? Aha...”

... I understood what he meant. “I get it...”

He sighed. “You’re annoying me by being so hesitant... You beat me fair and square, so if you’re supposed to be so much stronger than I am, act like it.”

I squeezed him, pressing my cheek against his back. “That’s right... I already beat you twice, and I’ll do it again.”

“Aha... It was a little more than twice...” He gently pat my arm. “Takumi?”

“Yes?”

He fiddled with his dark glasses. “I still can’t really ‘see’ you... But I see what you look like to yourself when you look in the mirror. So... do me a favor, and look at yourself with a little more kindness.” And he disappeared, smoke dissipating off my arms.

“I think that’s wonderful advice, Takumi—you should look at yourself with love and kindness, always.”

I turned back to Shion. “I...” Well—I can at least try. “I guess, I should wake up now... Thanks for coming to get me.”

“Oh, I didn’t do anything.” He put a hand over his heart. “It was all you... Well, I suppose it was the ‘me’ inside of you.” He peered up at me with a small smile. “Well—I also won’t be surprised if the real me decided to visit you, too—I probably sensed that you were upset and came to check on you.”

“That’s kind of you—I hope you didn’t burn too much energy doing that.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that. Hm-hm... I’m almost getting a little thrill, defying Sirei in my own way like that...” His laugh was so light. “Maybe I’m entering my ‘rebellious teenage years’.”

“Maybe you are.” I sat on the edge of the bed, giving him a warm hug. I suppose I wasn’t really touching him, but it felt nice. “I suppose I shouldn’t say ‘goodbye’...”

“No—there’s no need to.”

百

I blinked slowly, the ceiling coming into focus, illuminated by soft purple flame.

“Ah, Takumi—are you all right?” Shion hovered down near me, his face full of worry. “I sensed that you were in distress, so I came to check on you... I tried waking you up, but I couldn’t...”

I slowly sat up in bed so I wouldn’t get dizzy, propping my pillow up behind me. “It’s okay, Shion—I’m fine now. Thank you for coming to check on me—I’m sure you did help me.”

“Are you sure?” He was searching my face...

I smiled, though my face felt tired. Geez—there was crust at the edges of my eyes, I was probably crying in my sleep... “Yeah—actually, I feel less in doubt than I did before.”

“... Is that so?” He hovered down near the bed, as if he was sitting on the edge of it. “I see... Well, that’s a relief to hear.” He had a small smile. “Um... Well, now that you’re awake, if you want to talk about it with someone, I’ll listen.”

“Hmm... Well, it’s a little private...” Shion’s eyes flicked away. “Haha... But I guess you’re mature enough to understand these things.” I propped my legs up under the blanket, hugging my knees. “Do you want to hear about the difference between ‘love’ and ‘hate’?”

Shion’s wide eyes were peering up at me like sponges, wanting to absorb everything.

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My shoes sank into the spongy soft grass as I walked across the courtyard.

“Oh—good morning, Takumi!” Eito was beaming at the edge of the bars. “Last night, I was sure I died in my sleep—haha, you know, you look just like the Grim Reaper coming to collect my soul!”

I fished the golden key out of my pocket. “Well, you’re not wrong.” I gripped the heavy lock.

“Ah—Takumi, what are you doing?!”

“I have something important I need to talk to everyone about in the cafeteria—and I need you there, too.” I twisted the key in the giant lock with no small effort.

I took the lock out of the vice, tucking the key back in my pocket. I pulled open the heavy grated door, pushing it when I got it halfway.

Eito just stood there, frozen.

“Come on.” I held out my hand. “I know you’re just going to be annoyed if I act all hesitant—so this is me deciding.” He stared at my hand. His eyes flicked up to mine, seeing everything and nothing.

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... I started writing this on my period, not sure if that’ll explain anything lol

I won’t be surprised if this chapter is divisive—and that’s okay :) Lol I apologize if it was really disorienting to read, although that was intentional. I genuinely hope I didn’t upset anyone with the more “realistic” scenes—but I hope that anyone out there like me, who finds it healthy to process negative emotions in a safe way through fiction, took something away from it.

もう一人のぼく (mou hitori no boku, “the other me”) is what Yugi calls Dark Yugi in Yu-Gi-Oh! lol. Eito also refers to himself with the “I’m just a smol boy” pronoun “boku”, so I thought it fit. Is he starting to believe in “the heart of the cards”? Who knows XD

Two of these scenes were directly inspired by Monster. The lines, “Look at me, look at me…” (usually followed by, “The monster inside me is getting bigger…”) And Eito grasping both sides of Takumi’s face, leaning in to say, “What do you see, when you look into my eyes?” Also the scene in which Takumi confronts Eito in the Defense Room while everything burns around them, but Eito just calmly walks towards him, beckoning Takumi to “not miss.” I’m trying not to spoil Monster too much, as I’d really recommend either watching the anime adaptation or reading the manga. The Japanese audio with subtitles is more readily available, unfortunately the dub has been lost due to the rights slipping into limbo, even though it’s quite good (if you can find it through other means, wink). Since it’s me, I made some weird crossover fanart too XD

Writing this chapter put me in a weird mood, and I had a bad dream about it lol. But it was worth it, I got out what I wanted to get out :) Thanks for reading, see you next time~

Chapter Text

Chapter 6 – No Accounting for Taste

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Day 9

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Every eye in the cafeteria was glued to me… and to Eito, who was standing beside me holding my hand...

“Sumino.” Sirei tapped his cane on the table. “I’m sure you know what I’m about to ask, right, soldier?”

I sighed deeply. “There’s not much I can say… You’re all just going to have to trust me on this.”

“Are you for real?!” Darumi was shouting, practically in tears. “This guy’s crazier than me!”

“Yeah, what the hell are you thinkin’, Takumi?!” Takemaru barked over the crowd. “You know what this guy’s like—you said he fucked it all up in your first timeline, right?! This dude’s dangerous!”

“I have to agree.” Yugamu coughed into his fist. “All of us from Second-to-Last were curious about this ‘traitor’ you had locked up, so we paid him a visit… Not only does he seem rather intelligent, but also ambitious.” He folded his arms calmly. “That’s a dangerous combination for someone who harbors such open hatred for his fellow man.”

“Sir Takumi.” Kyoshika brandished her blade. “The Holy Jumonji Sword is practically vibrating with desire to cut this blackguard down, for the good of humanity...”

“Ooh, so that’s how you get it to do that, Kyoshika?” Without missing a beat, Kurara couldn’t resist, despite the tense atmosphere in the room...

“Yeah—you came all the way back to stop this guy, so what are you thinking now?!” Spit was practically flying out of Gaku’s mouth.

“Oh, dear...” Eito sighed, his eyes closing. “Well, I suppose this reaction is not altogether unexpected.”

“‘Unexpected’?” Tsubasa clenched her fists. “You made sure to let everyone who even came near the courtyard know how disgusting and monstrous we all are!”

“U-um... that’s right...” Shouma was shielding himself, even though he was the farthest away from Eito. “Even me—well, an irredeemable dung beetle like me is already used to being ground into the dirt, but—you made sure to tell me what a hideously pathetic worm I was, even when I was bringing your food...”

My disappointment was immeasurable, just glaring up at Eito with a flat expression.

“Aha... Well, I suppose I did say that.” Then, he winked at me. “But that was on our second day here.” What? Oh... so that was before I came back a second time? “I apologize, Shouma—that was such a horribly cruel thing for me to say!” He laid his hand over his heart. “I hope you can forgive me.”

Everyone looked like a feather could’ve knocked them over.

“H-hey, what the hell, man...” Even Takemaru was at a loss for words. “What’s with you?! If this is some kinda trick, we ain’t buyin’ it!”

“Yeah—you’re obviously lying just to be let out of your cage!”

“Y-yeah, that’s right! And as soon as we let our guard down, you’re probably just gonna kill us all, huh?!”

“And then you’ll make your way to the satellite and kill as many people up there as you can!”

“And look!” Moko pointed a finger at us—specifically, at our hands that were still clasped. “You even took advantage of poor Takumi’s kindness to get out of that cage—don’t listen to him, Takumi!!” She clenched her fist, her face full of fury. “Whatever he told you, it’s all just a lie to trick you! Just say the word—I’ll give this guy a True Goddess Reincarnation Piledriver to the solar plexus!”

“—wait!” Finally, Nozomi spoke up. She was clutching her arm, like she often did when she was unsure... She was regarding me with a cautious, but curious expression. “Um... I’m sure you have a good explanation for this, Takumi... So we’d all like to hear it.” She smiled gently.

Some of the others who were glaring so openly shifted their weight nervously, their eyes falling to the side... but no one objected.

Finally, Takemaru sighed loudly. “Fine... Go ahead, Takumi.” He beckoned towards me, like he was yielding me the floor. “Let’s all hear it.”

I lightly cleared my throat. It was still a bit intimidating have them all looking at me like that, even though their outright hostile and suspicious expressions had softened, but... Honestly, the most embarrassing thing was that Eito still insisted on holding my hand... It was just a spur-of-the-moment decision to make sure he didn’t make a run for it on the way here, I thought that was better than literally handcuffing him to me...

“Well... I guess the most straightforward explanation I can give you is that—this isn’t the same Eito that I stopped on day two.” I touched a hand to my heart. “I can’t give specifics, but—please, just trust me on that.” It wasn’t that I “couldn’t” give specifics... moreso that it was too private and would be incredibly embarrassing for me to say that stuff out loud...

Takemaru looked taken aback. “So, what—this guy came back in time, too? I thought that was just your power.”

“Well...”

“Aotsuki’s Specialist Skill is ‘Special Fortunetelling’.” Sirei touched the middle of his forehead, as if pointing to a third eye. “He can’t go back in time like Sumino... But you could say that he has stronger intuition than most.” Stronger intuition? Huh... now that he said it, I suppose that makes sense—I didn’t even really think about his Specialist Skill in a context like that, outside of battle...

“Uh...” Darumi tapped her lip. “So... what the heck does that mean?!”

“Mr. Sumino—I’m afraid that ‘just take my word for it’ won’t be good enough!” Ima glared, stepping protectively in front of Kako. “I have to make sure my dear sister stays safe, no matter what—so if you’re trying to convince us all to let a madman like this back into our midst, you better have a really good reason!”

Kako stepped out from behind Ima’s shadow. “Um... my brother is right, Mr. Takumi... Can you tell us a little more than that?” Her eyes were pleading with me... ugh, the “big brother” instinct almost made me just blurt out everything…

“Hrm...” Even Nigou seemed to be at a loss. “While I haven’t known you very long myself, Mr. Sumino, the Honorable Sirei places such trust in you—I’m afraid a more thorough explanation will be required, old boy.” But... what was I even supposed to say?

“Well...” Agh—I couldn’t just say all this stuff about “feelings” and “promises”—it’d just sound like a bunch of “heart of the cards” BS to them, too—but how else was I supposed to explain it?! Even to me, it was just a nebulous feeling...

I felt a light squeeze on my hand. “Haha... Maybe it will lend more credence if I explain it myself.” Uh, what now?? “You see—it’s true that I harbor a deep abiding hatred for mankind.” Eito sighed, as if he was talking about missing out on a sale at the supermarket... “How could I not, after all? Haha...” His disingenuous laugh was less unnerving to me since I was used to it, but it definitely looked like it got under the others’ skin... “You’ve all heard it for yourselves—mankind destroyed their only planet, polluting the Earth which gave them life and provided their food, shelter, and oxygen—mined Her precious resources in exchange for a made-up social currency, dissolved the Ozone layer so their factories could keep running… Man is the only animal which actively abets its own destruction. Haha... How could I not despise a species like that?” He pushed up his glasses. “Mankind raped its own Mother Earth, until Her only recourse was to destroy Herself, taking the ones who violated Her down with Her. We call it ‘World Death’—but it’s more like ‘World Suicide’.”

Everyone was silent. That metaphor might’ve seemed a bit extreme at first blush, but... it wasn’t wrong. Mankind did do all those things, over and over without any sign of stopping... [A/N: There’s a track off the original Final Fantasy VII soundtrack that plays in the Forgotten City called “Listen to the Cries of the Planet”. In some localizations, it’s translated as “Rape of the Planet”.]

Sirei just rested his little hands on his cane. “It’s all as I’ve explained. Hence, the necessity of the Exodus Project—mankind launched itself into space on the Artificial Satellite, in order to combat World Death and reclaim our home.” I had to bite my tongue at that... Everyone would find out the truth soon enough... Regardless of what the “Will of Humanity” decreed to be the right course of action.

“So you say...” Eito pushed up his glasses, continuing in an even tone. That was kind of an odd response... Did the memories I brought back with me from my timeline resonate with him to that extent...? “Well, at any rate—I won’t deny that I abhor mankind for what they’ve done. Not only to their own planet, but to each other, all throughout history. Haha... I suppose you could say that, prior to coming here, punishing and eradicating all mankind was my ‘reason for living’...”

“I knew it!” Gaku was practically in tears. “This guy’s nuts!! Takumi—get away from him!”

Eito just put up a hand. “Hold on, please, haha... I did say ‘prior to coming here’, didn’t I?” His laugh was so light, everyone was stunned into uncomfortable silence again. Uh... I don’t know if I exactly like where this is going... “Well—it’s true that my resentment didn’t just disappear overnight. That would just be ridiculous.” Then, he winked at me again. “But, I’ve found something that’s a bigger priority for me, right now. You might say it’s my new reason for living!”

“Um...”

“And just what does that mean?” Hiruko had been glaring silently all this time, leveling her sharp gaze at both of us.

“Well...” Eito was unperturbed, merely resting a finger under his chin in thought. “When Takumi told you all that he returned for a second time on day three—did you feel anything ‘special’? As if you could believe him right away?”

Everyone else looked amongst each other, and a low murmur to the effect of, “Well, kind of...” echoed around the cafeteria.

“Well... I guess you could say that.” Tsubasa clasped her arm. “It did feel like something was different, like it really was a different Takumi... It was almost like, I could feel the trust my future self placed in him, so I didn’t have to worry about a thing!” She lightly pumped her fists.

“Heh—guess you guys all felt that too, huh?” Takemaru smiled to himself. “Yeah, well—of course.” Then his glare returned, fixed squarely on Eito. “So, what—you felt a lil somethin’ too, and that’s why you had a change of heart all the sudden? Tch—get real, man.” He grit his teeth. “I’m still not buyin’ it!”

“Haha... Well, I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that what I felt was different from all of you.” His smile was unnervingly calm, his hand over his heart again. Uh oh... “You see—unlike you, Takumi and I have a ‘special relationship’...” Gah—you can’t just say that! “Evidently, my future self made a promise—a promise that I would try to understand all of you loathsome, hideous humans... Haha, since my future self is no longer able to make good on that promise, it falls to me, now... Haha, it’s quite an honor, even though I admit that I feel just a smidge jealous...” I was frozen to the spot, stunned with disbelief along with everyone else that he’d actually say that... “You could say that I made my own promise, to myself—to try to understand what it was that made me feel that way, and go to such extremes to be able to fight and live alongside all of you—oh, apparently I even gauged my own eyes out, and burned the mucous membranes in my nose!”

“Hrk—!” Poor Tsubasa was on her last legs.

Kurara’s fists were shaking. “This freak... You’re seriously telling us you’d go that far?!”

“Haha... Well, even if I didn’t see the proof for myself, I still believe it.” He winked sideways at me. “Call it my intuition!” Please, stop with all the winking—I get it... “Well, at any rate... Even if you don’t understand my reasoning, I still hope you all can take my resolve at face value!” He smiled brightly. “Destroying mankind can wait—I have something much more pressing on my agenda first!”

“You’ve gotta be shittin’ me!” Takemaru was clenching his fist so tightly, veins were bulging in his forehead. “What’s there to ‘take at face value’?! So what if some ‘other you’ made some promise—what’s that got to do with you?! Why should we trust anythin’ you say?”

“I also object to this line of reasoning.” Yugamu folded his arms. “With something so nebulous as ‘I’ll try to understand you’, there really isn’t a given endpoint or a way to quantify it. Even if we were to ‘take you at face value’—what’s to say you won’t turn around and sabotage our mission once you feel that you’ve sufficiently ‘understood’ us?”

“You guys can’t seriously be even listening to what he says?!” Gaku’s face was red from shouting. “This guy’s just nuts—he’ll say anything to get out of that cage, it’s probably just a bunch of BS, anyway!” Everyone was raising their voice now, arguing amongst themselves...

“Um—Takumi?” Nozomi raised her voice just enough that I could hear her over the crowd. “Is... all that true? You can tell me...” She was looking into my eyes so sincerely... agh, this is so humiliating, but Eito already shot any chance at subtlety into the sun… so I guess I have no choice.

“Um—ahem!” I loudly cleared my throat. “Um... Everybody, it’s all true...” I just squeezed my eyes shut and hoped that it would all be over soon... “I did make that promise... And I intend to keep it.” I finally opened my eyes, looking between everyone who stood with me at the last battle—Takemaru, Tsubasa, Hiruko, Ima and Kako, Gaku, Shouma, Moko, Yugamu... Not just them, but everyone who only wanted us to survive until the end—Kyoshika, Kurara, Darumi... and Nozomi, who was waiting outside in the schoolyard for all of us to come back safe... even though I was the only one who came back. And Shion, too—I made him a promise that was just as important. “I brought back all your wishes with me, so... I won’t be leaving any of us behind this time.” I squeezed his hand. “Not even Eito.”

I lost count of how many times everyone had been stunned into silence. A few people were looking at me, searching my face for any semblance of doubt or coercion, but—they didn’t find it. Some others looked away, unsure how to process what they just heard...

Yugamu sighed from the back of the cafeteria. “Well, if you’re that serious about it, then I suppose I’ll give you my blessing.” What?! Just like that? “Hehe...” His eye became a crescent. “Who knew you were such a hopeless romantic, Takumi... ehehe…”

“Ugh...” The embarrassment finally caught up with me, I could tell I was beet-red...

“Pfft...” Takemaru blew a huge raspberry. “Well... If that’s how it is, Takumi, then I ain’t got nothin’ to say against ya.” He gave me a hard look. “Just—put some countermeasures in place, just so that guy doesn’t try anythin’ funny.”

“Way ahead of you, Yakushiji!” Sirei winked, giving a thumbs-up. “Aotsuki’s data is still wiped from the Revive-O-Matic—one wrong move, and this guy’s ancient history! Ohoho—and don’t forget I still have the bomb implanted in you to keep you in line, Aotsuki!” Sirei laughed like a little chipmunk.

“Oh, I haven’t forgotten...” Eito laughed lightly. “In fact—I think you should duplicate whatever device you’re using as a detonator, and give one to Takumi!” What?! “That way, I’ll be sure to be on my best behavior even when we’re alone... Aha, it’s kind of exciting to think of you holding my life in your hands like that, Takumi...” This guy really is a freak!!

“Oh!” Kako gasped, and her eyes looked like they sparkled. “I see! I thought you had handcuffed Mr. Aotsuki to you so he couldn’t get away—you’ve really just been holding hands this whole time?!”

“Wha—it was just so he couldn’t get away!”

“Ugh! Mr. Sumino, you better take responsibility for showing such an unseemly display to my sweet, impressionable sister!”

“We’re just holding hands!!” Shit—I was just digging myself deeper...

“Haha...” Even Shouma looked like he was sparkling. “Wow... If there’s hope for even a dangerous psychopath like Eito to find love here, then maybe there’s hope for a worthless worm like me, after all!” Gah—I wanted to protest, but I also didn’t want to hurt Shouma’s feelings...

“Hehe... So that’s what it was.” Gah—even Nozomi was smiling and laughing... “Oh, but...” Her eyes flicked to Yugamu in the back. He noticed instantly, picking up what she was putting down even if she didn’t mean to—uh oh.

“Hehehe... Well, now...” With a flick of his wrist, Yugamu produced a whole bevvy of throwing needles from his robe, all fanned out between his fingers. “If that’s really your resolve, Eito Aotsuki—then I’m sure you won’t mind a little ‘stress test’.” He pressed the pad of his finger to the point of his needle. “You could say that Takumi and I have a ‘special relationship’ as well...”

“Ahaha... Is that so?” Eito squeezed my hand tighter. Gah, this was getting so out of control—

“That’s right... So, if you step out of line or do anything that hurts my cute little Takumi’s feelings—I won’t need access to your detonator to destroy you.”

‘fwip!’

Before I could blink, a thin red line appeared on Eito’s cheek, little droplets of blood beading along the cut.

“Wah!”

“What happened?!”

“Oh, dear...” Eito wiped his cheek with his other hand. “Ahaha... Please be delicate with me—unlike you, I can’t be revived to heal my wounds.”

“Ehehe... Exactly.”

I was desperate to reroute the conversation—“Sirei—since we have these countermeasures in place... Can you let Eito back into his own room? Or at least a different room, that isn’t a cage?” My eyes scrunched. Remembering how Shouma talked about Eva like she was a “pet” to be taken care of... “It’s inhumane to leave a prisoner there for any prolonged period of time.”

“Hmm...” Sirei rubbed his non-existent chin. “You drive a hard bargain, Sumino—but I’m afraid the prisoner has yet to prove himself trustworthy in my eyes.” He said that, but he still gave me a thumbs-up. “But don’t look so down—we can at least move him to another room so he has more space to stretch his legs! Can’t have even one of our soldiers getting rusty in the fight for humanity’s future!”

It felt like my brain locked up. “What?”

“Oh, but Honorable Sirei, sir...” Even Nigou was taken aback by that. “Surely you don’t believe that even the power of love is enough to combat such an intense hatred for humanity...” Who’s saying anything about “love”?!

Sirei crossed his little arms. “Well, we can’t just keep him around to eat our food and breathe all our air if he’s not contributing!” He sounded just like Hiruko—and Sirei didn’t even need either of those things to survive... “Plus—if he was able to destroy me in one shot, he must be pretty strong for such a prettyboy!” He gave a thumbs-up... that was some cavalier attitude to have about your own destruction... “What say you, Sumino—are you willing to take responsibility for Aotsuki’s training and upkeep?” Sirei looked like he blushed... “Just think of him as your own personal pet, and take him out for walks—and whatever else you’re into, I won’t judge!”

I just want to crawl in a hole and die... “I guess I can do that.” I didn’t even want to look at Eito—but I could tell just from my peripheral that he was practically sparkling...

“Wooww—I didn’t know that was an option! Can Mistress Hiruko keep me as a pet, too?!” Darumi instantly got into doggy stance. “Arf! Arf!”

“Hmph.” Hiruko turned away from the group. “Well... if that’s both our Leader’s and commanding officer’s decision, then I won’t go against it.” She gave me an unreadable look—like she was trying to figure something out. “... Come along, little doggie.”

“Arf!”

“—Wait!” Tsubasa had managed to compose herself, but she still looked a little green around the gills. “Um—I’m sorry, Takumi—I want everyone to get along, I really do! But... it’s just such a sudden drastic change...” She was eyeing Eito carefully. “Are you sure you really believe him? He did say ‘destroying mankind can wait’, not that he’s given up entirely...”

“Heh—that’s easy! We’ll just blow this guy up on day ninety-nine before he ever gets a chance to board the escape pod!” Takemaru punched his palm, proud of himself for coming up with that one.

“Haha... I can understand your skepticism. I think it’s healthy, in fact.” Eito had a truly peaceful expression. Uh oh—now what? “Well, how should I put this... Call it my ‘intuition’, but... If what I’ve been able to glean from my future self is true, then if everything goes well—I may just lose interest in that ambition entirely...” He said it that way again—just what did that mean, what was he able to “glean”?

“Um... what does that mean?”

He turned to me, with the biggest, most sparkly wink in the world. “Well, that was ‘some other me’ that Takumi made such an intimate promise to—I said I can’t help but feel a little jealous, so my new goal is to make sure Takumi falls in love with me!”

A cold wind blew through the cafeteria.

“Oh, my—should I not have said that out loud? Haha, I never was good at reading the room...” This bastard—that was totally on purpose! “Don’t look so surprised, Takumi—isn’t that what you wanted?” He gave me a bright smile. “You did come back in time especially to fulfill your promise to me...” That’s—“When you reached out your hand this morning and said, ‘This is me deciding...’” He gave my hand a squeeze. “Well—since you know me so well, you know that I’ll never stop until my goal is in hand! Haha!” He defied all laws of social convention and decency, and kissed the back of my hand...

... Well, this timeline was a bust. I wasn’t able to save anyone at all, since every person passed away simultaneously in that cafeteria...

百

“Hrrmmnngh...” I was laying face-down on the table, groaning miserably. Someone pat my shoulder, and I could tell by his nails who it was.

“There, there, Takumi...” Yugamu was trying to comfort me, but I could detect a small laugh in his tone... “I, for one, was quite inspired by that one’s passionate declaration. Hehe... Maybe the rest of us can find love in this hopeless place.”

I raised my head. “You’re not much better, you know—he probably only said that because you provoked him like that.”

“Me? I just said what was on my mind.” Yugamu fanned out his nails, feigning innocence. “I’m always like that—surely you know me that well, too?”

“Ugh...” My forehead touched the table. What have I gotten myself into... “And hey—don’t get the wrong idea.” I pressed my hands over my head. “I didn’t have a ‘special relationship’ with anyone in my timeline. This is all new to me, too...”

He was quiet for a second. “Is that so?”

“... Yeah.”

I heard Yugamu sigh softly. “All right—I get it.” He pat my shoulder.

Well... That was merciful for him to just leave it that, but it was starting to feel unfair for me to obscure the truth, like it was this scandalous thing...

I pushed my hair off my forehead, and finally sat up straight. “I... However you want to describe my ‘relationship’ to the you from my future, we both agreed to close the book on that particular chapter on a high note. Amicably...”

“I see...” He rubbed his chin. “Like parents who get divorced, but stay friends for the sake of their kids?”

“I guess...” That made it sound worse than it was, though... “Well...” I felt a little bad revealing this, like I was giving away his future self’s secrets, but... He deserved to know. “If you want to know the truth... I invited you one last time, and you let me down easy. Haha... You said, ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea, Takumi. It’s about time I made my exit, anyway.’”

“I see.” He smirked. “How big of me—did that one have anything to do with it?”

“... You could say that.” Ugh—that made it sound way worse, like I was “keeping my options open”... “But it wasn’t like—”

“It’s all right, Takumi! Ehehe... You don’t have to tell me every little thing.” He snickered. “My future self deserves to keep some of his secrets, after all.”

“... sorry.”

He was looking down at me with an unusually soft expression, like that last time up on the roof... “Well, at any rate—a ‘special relationship’ doesn’t have to be physical, or even romantic.” He calmly folded his arms. “It’s true that I’ve developed a fondness for you, due in part to my future self’s influence, I’m sure...” He had a terrifying grin. “So I won’t allow that one to harm a hair on your pretty little head—of that, you can rest assured.”

“Haah... Well, I appreciate that.” I know he’s not bluffing, either. “If nothing else, I hope all these countermeasures will help the others relax around Eito, at least...”

He gave me a hard stare with his good eye, just like Takemaru. “You really believe his intentions, Takumi?”

“... I do.” Saying it out loud made it finally feel real. “I’d rather not explain why... But I know he won’t do anything to hurt me. And I’ll be pretty mad if he goes around destroying humanity or messing around with any of you behind my back, so I know he won’t do that now, either...”

“Ehehe... How romantic.” Ugh... “Well, if that’s how you truly feel, Takumi, then I’ll believe his words. For now.” He reached around in his robe. “Do me a favor, though—if you’re going to take up Sirei’s offer to carry around Eito’s detonator—you should put it somewhere inside your body, so he can’t snatch it from you or destroy it. That way he won’t be able to rough you up either, lest he accidentally detonate it...” He pulled out a scalpel, licking the blade in that perverted way he did... “Unless, you’re into that sort of thing.”

“... I’m not.”

“Really? That’s too bad.” He pocketed his scalpel again. “That must have been why we broke up...”

“—we weren’t dating!” Ugh—I just unintentionally revealed too much...

“Ehehe... I’m only teasing.” He had that terrifying smile, his eye closed. “I’m sure my future self just loved teasing you like this, that flustered look on your face is quite cute...”

“Haah... I think I need to take a walk...” Eito’s “bold declaration” just fried the last of my brain cells, I hadn’t even left the cafeteria since then... “... Where is he, anyway?”

“I imagine Sirei and Nigou are still getting him set up in his new room—Tsubasa is there with them, making sure all the plumbing is properly connected.”

“By herself?!” I didn’t think Eito would actually do anything to her, but...

“No, no—that ‘gang boss’ Takemaru Yakushiji is up there with her. Ehehe...” He smiled wryly. “That one talks a big game, but he’s actually a huge softie at heart, isn’t he?”

“Well... yeah, actually.”

“Ehehe... Interesting.” Do I even want to know what that look was for... “Well, at any rate—once they’re through with him, it’ll be my turn to babysit next.” He sighed. “I want to oversee the procedure to make sure the patient doesn’t botch it...”

“... So, he still wants to go through with it.” In the daze of the aftermath of Eito’s bombshell, I did catch that he was asking about the equipment in the Bio Lab, and whether there was liquid nitrogen he could use to “freeze” his mucous membranes, like freezing off a wart... Apparently it was a less painful way to go about it, and was a more temporary solution, so he’d have to do it a few times for the tissue to really die off... I still didn’t like the idea of him mutilating himself, even if it made it easier for him to be around us—but as long as he didn’t gouge his eyes out again, then I guess I could live with that... I just wonder if it really makes food taste bland if he can’t smell anything, he refused to answer when I asked him about it in my timeline...

“It’s his body, so we really have no right to stop him—I’m just going to make sure that he does it correctly.” Yugamu looked lost in thought. “Even with my love of body modification, I can’t say I agree with such a vulgar method—but that’s his own business.” He shrugged. “That’s why I’m not performing the procedure myself.”

“I see...”

“Hehe... But with your permission, I’d love to poke around his brain a little...” His grin was scary. “I’m sure I can find the root of this so-called ‘cognitive disorder’, with enough time... Oh, but Sirei will have to re-register him in the Revive-O-Matic first.”

“Please don’t do anything drastic.” Hey, wait—“And what do you mean, ‘with my permission’?!”

“Well, you are his keeper now, aren’t you? Though that one seems more like a fickle cat than a dog, ehehe...” God... he said that last timeline, too... “You know, Takumi—you seem like such a sincere and straight-forward person...” He rubbed his chin. “But, between me and all my charms and a misanthrope like that—you must just have bad taste.” Ugh...

百

“Takumi!” Eito practically bounced down the hallway with a spring in his step, with Sirei, Nigou, and Yugamu in tow. “Come closer...” Wah—he surprised me by putting his hands on my shoulders—“Hmm...” He closed his eyes, breathing deeply. “... Nothing. Not a hint of sulfur or burning hair at all!” His eyes were shining behind his glasses. “Isn’t that wonderful? Now we can take long walks in the courtyard together, and I won’t be repelled by your putrid stench!”

“Yeesh, you’d think this one would get sick of the courtyard...” Sirei was wiping his brow with a small towel. That’s the part he took issue with...

“Oh, not at all—now that I’m no longer confined there, I’m sure I’ll be able to see its beauty in a new light!” Gah—he clasped my hands. Just what the heck happened to him in one day?! “Plus... With everything that’s happened, wouldn’t you say the courtyard is our ‘special place’?” He winked. “Haha... If you get a letter from me after I’m dead saying to meet me in our ‘special place’, that’s where I’ll be!”

“—no one’s dying on my watch.” That was a pretty morbid comparison, anyway... [A/N: Silent Hill 2, iykyk lol]

“Of course, Takumi—I wouldn’t want to make you resort to taking a third leap back in time, and leave me in this timeline all alone...” This guy was really getting bold… “Well, at any rate—Sirei wants to make sure I’m still in fighting shape after being locked up for a week, so I’m off to the Training Room!” He finally let me go, giving me a wave. “I’ll see you later, Takumi! Even though it’s just a holographic projection, the moon shining down on the courtyard at night is still quite beautiful, isn’t it?”

A cold wind blew through the hallway.

Yugamu coughed into his fist, with a small smirk.

百

“Heeuuughh...” I was lying face-down in bed, with my nose smashed into the pillow. I can honestly say I’ve never been so humiliated in my entire life...

I rolled my face to the side, air squeaking out of my nose as I breathed... What am I supposed to do? I didn’t think Eito would act like that ... it’s all moving too fast. Haah... It’s true that I wanted him to come around and have a change of heart, but—wasn’t that ridiculously fast? Something must’ve happened...

I rolled onto my back, pushing my hair off my forehead. “To make sure Takumi falls in love with me”, huh... Was that even possible?

I let my eyes close. I suppose... I can’t keep shoving it down or putting it aside anymore. I have to sort out whatever my feelings are, as complicated as they may be... “Haah...”

I was absently rolling a piece of my fringe between my fingers. What even were my feelings, back then... I did always “like” Eito as a friend, the first time—I relied on him as my “co-leader”, and I did find his gentle presence comforting. I even helped him dry out the laundry on the roof that one time, and it was just... relaxing. It put my mind at ease slowing down and doing such a simple domestic task with him, just chatting about nothing in particular... Though I did notice him standing with a thousand-yard stare toward the horizon when we were nearly done, but he snapped out of it when I asked him a question... I wonder if he was feeling doubt, then. Looking back... it was pretty obvious he had some sort of crush on me, at the very least... I’m sure that had him conflicted about his “holy mission”, or whatever it was in his mind.

I remember the one time I felt a kernel of doubt about him was when he... I don’t even remember what I said, but in response, he just closed his eyes and said, “Aha... You really are kind, Takumi. Almost too kind...” I didn’t know what that could possibly mean—it just gave me a bad feeling. I should’ve listened to my gut and paid more attention... Maybe that’s when he started looking at me like an “obstacle” to his plan, and that’s why he hated me so much... who knows. He said he started resenting me when I “humiliated” him by rescuing him outside the wall of fire, but... the way he was clinging to my back and resting his cheek on my shoulder said otherwise.

“Haah...” Even when I was musing about it to Shion last night, I still don’t understand that twisted kind of “hate” that borders on “love”...

That was the real question, wasn’t it... Could you really say that Eito “loved” me—or was it more like he was “obsessed” with me?

“Hoo...” I got a chill all throughout my body—it was like the Eito I carried back with me just got horribly upset by that. But—it was a fair question to ask. How could you really “love” somebody who you also “loathed, envied, and despised”? It just didn’t make sense to me... And even if I took that at face value, was that really the kind of “relationship” I wanted? Yugamu said I had “bad taste”... Apparently a professional killer S&M freak was too “complicated” for me, but he was somehow less dangerous and scary than Eito...

Then an image flashed in my mind, of the Eito I knew who wore dark glasses with a smudge of gold paint on the bridge... After I had that “nightmare”, or whatever it was... he was about to disappear and fade into the dark corner of the room, and I ran to him without any abandon, crashing into him and wrapping my arms around him. I really didn’t want him to go... when did my own feelings start to change?

Well... it was probably when he made that promise. I was shocked that he said it so sincerely—and it wasn’t just to understand “me”, but “everyone”. He was really serious—it wasn’t just some elaborate trick to betray us all later, he wasn’t just trying to flatter me... That’s probably when I saw him in a different light.

Then when he died like that... and he used his dying breath to make things more complicated and stick it to me one last time—I was mad. I was mad that he kept those feelings to himself that whole time and never told me—that he was only able to be honest in the very last second of his life. It felt like a waste… all I could think of was “what could have been”. “That bastard”... I realized I said that out loud. “Haah...”

I pushed my hair off my forehead for the umpteenth time, and my skin felt warm... What did I feel? Those complicated emotions were towards the Eito from my second timeline... The one holding my hand and making bold declarations in the cafeteria this morning was still a relative stranger—I’d only known him for a week. And he flipped out on me and said such hateful things already... was I just supposed to ignore that now that he’s “changed” and got his “new motivation”? What made him suddenly turn on a dime overnight, anyway? It just doesn’t make sense...

I was staring straight up at the ceiling. He said he was sure he “died in his sleep” last night... was he caught in a nightmare like I was? Or... was that not just a dream, after all?

I shivered. Honestly—everything I saw last night, everything I felt... I really don’t know if that was just a bad dream. I wanted to chalk it up to the hateful version of Eito that I absorbed in my first timeline fucking with me... but some of it just felt too real to be a dream. It was all fragmented, but... it really felt like I was stepping into different versions of my life, glimpsing possible futures or parallel timelines where I was with Eito—for better or for worse. Some of them seemed all right—the first one who called me “honey” seemed relatively normal, even if he was a little overbearing with the way he doted on me... The most normal one was probably her. She seemed like she just loved me unconditionally—probably because she was the one who could be the most honest with herself. At first, when I saw the Eito with the dark glasses standing next to me at the shrine, I thought he must be “my Eito”... but even he felt a little different, towards the end when I made my wish he got all resentful like a youkai showing its true face... but that was probably when the “nightmare” was taking over...

I realized I was gripping myself tightly... those other two were just awful. The miserable Eito who turned to drinking, being trapped with me in a borderline abusive relationship... no, I shouldn’t say “borderline”. I really hope that one was just a bad dream... not just for his sake, but the idea that there’s some POS version of me out there who would treat him so horribly and corner him like that... it just makes me sick. I really hope that’s not real... if it is, and he’s still out there somewhere—I hope he finds the courage to leave me, or I just get struck by lightning or something. Even if that version of me did have a complete change of heart and try to atone for what he’d done... would it be enough? Or worse... would that version of Eito who was so codependent on him not even know what to do anymore? Ugh—I can’t even think about it. It seriously made me sick, it hurt my heart so much to think about...

My heartbeat was picking up, thudding painfully with dread... I knew what he felt like being trapped, because I was also completely trapped... by that terrifying Eito who made me look right into his eyes. That Eito was, unquestioningly, the worst... but the scariest part was, he seemed the most “in character”...

I squeezed my eyes shut. It was all just a bad dream—just like that dream where the wrong Eito was laying in bed with me, and I was trapped at Last Defense Academy forever and ever and ever. I had absorbed so much of Eito’s cryptoglobin, he was able to manifest himself in my nightmares—that’s what Shion told me, anyway. He said hemoanima was a mysterious thing, even he didn’t understand it—but that had to be it. It had to be true...

I willed myself to relax, lying flat on my back... Be aware of my right foot, my left foot... be aware of my right hand, my left hand... I had done those meditation exercises to cassette tapes with Takemaru a few times before, and they did help me relax... Whether I believed it was really helping my “prana” flow through my body was another matter... It still helped to try to clear my thoughts, just letting them pass by unacknowledged, like a flowing river...

—I did have one thought I couldn’t ignore, jumping out of the river like a silvery fish… Whether all of that was just a nightmare or not, it felt like a warning. “This is what I’m like.” Eito was a complicated person—being with him could turn out any number of ways. From good, to bad, to really bad... It was essentially a gamble getting involved with him. Like playing Russian Roulette... Was that really something I was willing to do?

I realized I was scrunching my eyes, and willed myself to relax. That wasn’t my promise. It wasn’t “to be in a relationship with you”, or even “to be happy with you”... It was “to try to understand you.” Everything began with that crucial first step... anything after that was...

百

Purple flames swirled and coalesced in the corner of my room, casting warm shadows across the ceiling. “Takumi?” Shion appeared in the flames. “Are you all right?”

“Haah... Sorry.” I sat up in bed. “Were my bad vibes reaching you all the way in your pod?”

“Well...” He was searching my face, concern etched in his eyes. “I haven’t seen you since this morning, so I got worried... It seemed like everything went well in the cafeteria?”

“Ugh...” I pressed my palms over my eyes in embarrassment. “That’s right, you were watching... I’m sorry.” I dropped my hands with a deep sigh. “I really intended to tell everyone the truth about this being Futurum... Eito just pulled the rug out from under me, and now I feel like I can’t gather everyone together again like that for a bit...”

“I understand.” He hovered down, as if he was sitting on the edge of the bed. “You don’t want to overwhelm everyone... It’s best to save that discussion for when you think the time is right, and when everyone is mentally prepared to hear it.”

“You’re right...” I scrunched in my legs, hugging my knees. Shion had taken it more or less in stride when I told him my first night back... He said he felt like he already knew, based on his own intuition and context clues. But I couldn’t even tell him the whole truth even then, I knew it would overwhelm him... but carrying this burden all alone, trying to decide when the “right time” was to tell everyone—it was eating me up, I had to have someone else on my side. And... Shion deserved to know more than anyone.

“Takumi?”

I took a steadying breath, giving him a smile even though it felt tired. “I’m all right—I was just thinking, and considering something carefully.” I hugged my legs. “Shion—there’s something else I want to tell you, but I should probably wait until the others are ready to hear it, too. It’s pretty important... It’ll change not only the way we all look at this war, but ourselves... and that includes you.” His mismatched eyes were big. “... I want to wait until we introduce you to the others, though. I want us all to be close as comrades, so we can support each other.” I smiled. “I promise that will be soon—just as soon as Sirei finishes his survey of the ‘Will of Humanity’.” I laughed a bit. “I’m sorry to leave you in suspense like this... but when the time’s right, will you be ready to hear it?”

His eyes closed in a genuine smile. “Of course—I’ll be ready whenever you are.” He laughed lightly. “Although, I can’t say I’m not curious, just a bit...”

“I’m sorry—maybe I shouldn’t have brought it up at all...”

“No—it’s all right, I trust your judgment.” He hovered at the edge of the bed. “Although... it must be a burden to carry so many important secrets, all on your own...”

“... You have no idea.”

“Haha... Then, let’s talk, Takumi.” His gentle smile really was healing, like watching cute animal videos. “About anything you want—I’ll listen as long as I can maintain my avatar, haha...”

I smiled, but less tiredly this time. “Why don’t you tell me about what you’ve been up to lately, Shion?”

“Me?”

“Yeah—while you’ve been checking up on the school! Have you ever gotten up early to watch the sunrise?”

“The sunrise?” His eyes fell to the side. “No... I can’t say I’ve ever thought to do that.”

“Well—then whenever you feel up to it, I’ll stay up with you and we can watch the sunrise together. It’ll be like a little camp-out on the roof—how about that?”

His mismatched eyes were shining. “I’d like that... it sounds lovely.” He laughed lightly. “You know... I thought it might make me sad to see glimpses of the outside world, when I knew I’d never be able to be a part of it... But now, the thought of missing out on even a second of the world around me makes me sad...” Ugh—that makes me sad, I can’t even imagine how Shion never grew to resent his fate... I guess that’s just not the kind of person he is.

I reached out and pat his shoulder out of habit—oops, my hand went right through him. “Oh...”

“Oh, wait, Takumi...” He closed his eyes and concentrated. “... How’s that?”

“Whoa...” His shoulder was warm... it didn’t feel like cloth, or like there was flesh underneath—but it was solid. Like touching a log in a campfire, but it didn’t burn... “You’re learning to control it really well! It doesn’t burn at all... it feels like a hot bath, actually...”

“Haha... Well, you encouraged me by telling me I was able to control my flames to feel like a pleasant fire, so...”

“It really does...” For some reason I was almost getting embarrassed... Shion was so straightforward with his feelings about everything. I kind of admired him for that... “So, Shion—while you were floating around, did you get curious about anyone in particular?”

“Anyone in particular...” His eyes went to the side in thought. “Well... I suppose I was curious about that rather loud man, Takemaru... He seems like a good friend of yours, even though he’s so abrasive.” He laughed lightly. “I was watching him a little in the gym, and he was training Shouma so diligently, and trying to build up his confidence... He really is a nice person, isn’t he?”

I smiled. “Yeah—he really is.”

百

“Sirei.”

He turned away from the wall of monitors in the War Room. “Sumino! What brings you to my humble abode?”

I stopped in front of him. “Has the ‘Will of Humanity’ reached a consensus yet?”

He looked like he started sweating... “Well, about that...”

“Did you run it again because you didn’t like the outcome?”

“Hold on! You didn’t even let me finish, soldier!” He shook his little fist. “Ahem... The Will of Humanity did reach a consensus... But believe it or not, we had a hung jury!” He gave me a thumbs-up. “I’m not surprised—it was a pretty loaded question, after all!” Then he regained his usual composure, holding his cane steady with both hands. “That’s why I’ve decided to run another simulation, this time with more added context... I won’t attempt to suppress the answer, whatever it may be—you have my word on that. That would go against my programming, oho!”

“I see...” Well... I was actually kind of surprised by that. So, half of humanity didn’t want to commit genocide and wipe out an entire species... but the other half were so desperate to live, they’d approve of any methods, whatever it took... I’m beginning to understand why Eito despises humanity so much. Well... I guess we were almost the same way our first time around—we didn’t have any “context”, so we were just doing whatever it took to survive, too... Just like animals. But unlike every other animal, we weren’t intelligent enough to not abet our own destruction...

“Give me another day or two, Sumino—I’ll get a better feel for what the Will of Humanity really wants then!” He gave me another thumbs-up. “Then you can make your big dramatic announcement to your fellow soldiers—I have an idea of what it’ll be, though. Hfwaha—if the Will of Humanity agrees with you, I won’t have any reason to stop you!”

“What if the ‘Will of Humanity’ doesn’t agree—you still feel like the people fighting this war don’t deserve to know the truth?” Even if he “had an idea”—I still had to play my cards close to my chest.

Sirei tapped his cane on the desk. “I’ll have to be presented pretty compelling evidence to disclose confidential information like that, soldier—I’m still waiting for an explanation for your bleeding heart tactics, after all.” He grinned darkly. “Even if your knowledge of the future and supercharged hemoanima make you indispensable in this war—don’t think I won’t dispose of you if you turn out to be another ‘undesirable’, like that Aotsuki.”

“The Aotsuki that you let out of confinement, and want to fight alongside us again?”

Sirei pointed at his temple. “Oho—now you’re gettin’ it, Sumino!”

I just studied Sirei, even though I knew his “expressions” wouldn’t give away anything. Whatever—it doesn’t actually matter what the “Will of Humanity” thinks—it’s just a simulation based on data. What matters is my own heart and mind—and what everyone with me wants to do. I don’t need to be told what the “right” thing to do is—I learned that the hard way last time, when I almost died in the dirt in Nozomi’s arms... I won’t waste this chance, when I left her all alone to wander that war-torn landscape—I have to focus. I need to have faith in her, that she was able to do it, and make a bridge between humans and Futurans. I have to...

“Well—is that all you wanted to chat with me about, Sumino?”

“That’s all—thanks for your time, Sirei.” For now, I had to work with Sirei and stay on his good side—at least until he was convinced to re-register Eito’s DNA in the Revive-O-Matic. After that... we’ll see.

百

Eito was strolling through the courtyard with me, breathing deeply. “Aah... Smell that nothing! Isn’t it wonderful, Takumi?”

“Sure... if you say so.” So, he literally couldn’t “stop and smell the roses” anymore...

“Haha... I’m feeling a bit like the inventor’s daughter in that classic fairy tale—if I fall in love with the beast despite him being so hideous, maybe I’ll be rewarded with a handsome Prince at the end!” He beamed. “Oh, but... You don’t think that’ll negate the lesson, do you? If I’m aware that he’s really a Prince, then I’m not seeing what’s inside and it’ll just cancel itself out...” He contemplated with his finger under his chin... this was so absurd. “Oh, dear... Well, now I’ve gone and jinxed it.”

“Pft—I’m surprised someone logical like you would believe in jinxes. Or fairy tale curses...”

“Haha... Wouldn’t you say this condition of mine is like a curse?” His gentle smile was still unnerving, when he didn’t mean it...

I didn’t know what to say... His cognitive disorder was something unnatural that wasn’t supposed to be there, and it caused him nothing but pain and anguish... But it was a part of him all the same. I couldn’t just say, “Well, when the curse is broken, that’s when I’ll actually be able to understand you, maybe even fall in love with you...” An enchantress trying to teach me a lesson probably wouldn’t jive with that, either.

“... Hmm.” Eito hummed to himself, almost laughing. “You know, Takumi... I’ve gotten used to what you look like.” He smiled, but it looked a bit tired. “Once I started thinking that you were an angel of death coming to take me away... it almost became comforting.” His eyes closed. That was a really sad, morbid thing to say so casually... “Now that I can’t smell that horrible burning hair stench, and you always take such care to talk to me in that gentle voice... It’s almost comforting to be around you.” Wah—was it just the lighting in the courtyard, or were his cheeks tinged just a little pink? “Well, that’s how I see you... That horrible burnt skeleton is ‘my Takumi’. But... I guess I’m still greedy, because I still want to see what you really look like, someday.” He winked, as if he was trying to cover his genuine embarrassment with sarcasm... “Haha—I won’t even be disappointed if you’re as ugly as Shouma’s always saying he is... I just want to see you how you are.” I’d already been hit with a combo, but he finished it off with an expression I haven’t seen on this Eito yet... a gentle smile. “Aha, and I’m not just saying that in case an enchantress trying to teach me a lesson is listening in!”

“Geez...”

[A/N: I’m going to spoil one of Director Uchikoshi’s best games (in my opinion), 9 Hours, 9 Persons, 9 Doors aka Zero Escape—but I think it’s an important parallel for what Eito’s going through. The character he’s discussing isn’t mentioned by name, but if you still don’t want to be spoiled, skip to when Eito says, “You know... The reason I read so much isn’t just for my own enjoyment and personal enrichment.”]

Eito was gazing across the courtyard almost forlornly, with a thousand-yard stare. Just like when we were hanging laundry up on the roof... “You know... Information about the incident had largely been censored by the press, but it became a huge enough scandal that scraps still survived even into the Tokyo Residential Complex...” He gave me an uneasy smile. “Back in the twenty-first century on Earth, there was a CEO of a pharmaceutical conglomerate who used his vast resources to orchestrate an ‘experiment’, with the goal of putting a group of children through such immense psychological pressure and danger, that they’d have no choice but to access this metaphysical concept called the ‘morphogenetic field’ to escape...”

“What, that’s a real thing?”

“Haha... Did Darumi mention it as one of the plot twists in her beloved ‘killing games’? Aha... Well, I suppose what those poor children went through wasn’t altogether unlike a killing game...” His eyes closed. “At any rate—that CEO was desperate to be able to access the morphogenetic field... Think of it like a ‘central hard drive’ for all of mankind—each person can ‘upload’ their thoughts and feelings for the rest of the collective unconscious to access and share—almost like a psychic message board, I suppose. But more powerful than that, as the morphogenetic field can even transcend time and space... At least, in theory.” He rubbed his chin. “Do you know why that CEO would go to such extremes to be able to access it?”

At some point, we had sat down on a stone bench, and I relaxed my palms on the warm surface. “I don’t know—power, money? To get a leg up on his competitors? Or did he have wider ambitions, politically?”

Eito laughed lightly. “Nothing as grand as that... It was all personal, just a selfish wish to cure himself of his condition.” He pushed up his glasses. “You see, this CEO had prosopagnosia—you might’ve heard it referred to as ‘face blindness’.”

“Face blindness?”

“That’s right—it’s a cognitive disorder that makes it very difficult, if not impossible, to parse people’s facial characteristics—including their expressions and emotional cues.” He gave a small, bitter laugh. “It also leaves the person affected unable to distinguish people by their faces—think of it like us looking at monkeys, or tigers. We know logically that their faces are all unique, but we can’t tell the difference for the life of us. If I showed you two photos of two different tigers right now, then asked you details about them—you probably wouldn’t be able to tell me anything. It doesn’t matter how distinguishing their facial markings are—to us, they just don’t stick.”

“Well...” I guess that would probably be true...

Eito pushed up his glasses. “So, you see... that CEO was plagued by an incurable condition, from which there was no escape. I’m sure it drove him mad... So, he spent his life amassing all that wealth and power, just so he could have a chance... to see what people looked like through others’ eyes.” He gave me a tired smile, and he almost looked sad.

I didn’t even know what to say. I became aware of the trickling of the fountain in the courtyard, which was no longer comforting or relaxing.

“You know... The reason I read so much isn’t just for my own enjoyment and personal enrichment.” Eito took off his glasses. “The truth is, Takumi... I’ve always been trying to find a way to cure my condition.” He smirked to himself, looking at nothing. “At the same time my hatred for mankind was festering, reading about all their wicked deeds... I became so envious and spiteful towards all of them. Just once, I’d like to be able to see what normal people see... Just once, that miserable, cowering child didn’t want to be afraid.” He finally looked at me. “When I look at you like this... I feel like I can almost see you.” He closed his eyes. “This might’ve been what my future self felt...” He turned so he was facing me on the bench. “Takumi... Can I see your face?”

My heartbeat was picking up a little... “Sure...” I scooted a bit closer, one of my legs bent up under me...

He hesitantly reached up, his hands gingerly finding my face... He was cupping my cheek, pushing his fingers back through my hair, his thumb brushing my ear... I was getting goosebumps and tingles all over, it felt so intimate even though he was barely touching me at all. I couldn’t look away from his face—my only saving grace was that his eyes were closed... He really was pretty up close, his eyelashes were so long...

“... I can see you.” He had a small smile—almost shy. “I was right—this must’ve been how my future self saw you.” His eyes fluttered open, and we were so close I saw myself reflected in them. “I wonder... How do I look, in your eyes?”

... I understood it. Everything that terrifying Eito in my dream was telling me, everything I saw in his eyes... It was all true. What his parents said, what the doctors said… in his world, he was always alone. I’m not saying any of that justified what he did, or what he had ambitions to do—but, I understood. I understood how feeling that way every day could make a person crazy, and fall into the depths of despair. That’s what he was trying to tell me... Whether it was a nightmare, or a glimpse at some other Eito out there who was suffering just as much—the Eito from my first timeline was trying to reach out to me to let me know how badly he was hurting. He was just too stubborn and proud to come out and say it, he’d rather torment me a little while he was at it because he was just an asshole like that... Haah, this guy really was a handful...

I flicked him right on the forehead. “You’re really a lot of trouble, you know.”

“—ah.” His eyes shot open in genuine shock. “Ow—Takumi, why would you do a thing like that?” He rubbed his forehead, even though it wasn’t even red... There’s no way that actually hurt, I didn’t do it that hard. “I can’t believe you—I tried so hard, I thought I said all the right things!”

“Wha—what do you mean?!” I felt my face getting hot—what’s that supposed to mean, he said all that cheesy stuff and touched my face just to—what, get me warmed up?! For what, a kiss?! This guy...

“Takumi... You don’t understand...” He sounded like he was putting a sad affectation on his voice on purpose, like Sirei’s crocodile tears... “It’s not easy for me to be so honest and vulnerable with someone... I don’t have much experience in these social situations! I wasn’t lying about that our first day... I always went out of my way to avoid loath—I mean, other people...” Uh-huh... “If I had to interact with anyone, like my teachers, I just put on a mask and faked my way through it... This is my first time being so honest with someone! You have to believe me... It’s just not fair, after I tried my best...”

Geez... He was laying it on pretty thick, but he probably was genuinely devastated that his “sincere feelings” didn’t get through to me... Well, serves him right. That’s for all the stuff he did to hurt my feelings—in this and all the other timelines. Haah... I guess that wasn’t fair. This is a different Eito we’re talking about... And he did try really hard just now. He almost swept me up in it with him, if I’m being honest...

I scooted a little closer to him on the bench, and he almost flinched in surprise. He still hadn’t put his glasses back on...

I reached up and touched his hair... it really was silky, and somehow still fluffy. I was curious what he’d do if I softly brushed his ear like that...

“—ah.” His hand flew to his ear. “That’s tickly... is that what that feels like? Haha...” He laughed awkwardly... I could see it, his cheeks were totally pink, it was obvious with his glasses off—he really was cute. Wah, what’s wrong with me... it was almost like his cheesy speech actually worked...

“If you’re asking me what I see when I look at you...” I brushed his long side-swept hair off his forehead. “... I’m still trying to figure that out.” I closed my eyes, letting all the thoughts flow through me... I never was very good at meditating, but it was never too late to try... I let all the visions and memories of the other Eitos all flow through me, letting them pass without acknowledging or reaching out to them... Not even you, you told me to move on and fulfill your promise to “that one down in the cage”... That’s who was in front of me now. I even let him out of the cage myself, that was something even you didn’t foresee...

I opened my eyes, my vision dilating a bit in the brightness of the courtyard—it almost felt like I was seeing him for the first time.

I brushed his cheek with my thumb, maybe enjoying his squirmy embarrassment a little bit... “To be honest, there’s a lot of ‘you’ in my mind... Lots of memories I won’t be able to forget, and some ‘yous’ that it’ll be hard to let go of. That’s why... I’m going to try my best to just see you. For who you are—the Eito right in front of me.” His face was so warm. “That’s my new promise... just to you.”

He blinked. “I see.” His eyes fluttered closed. “Haha... I hope I’m not about to have a panic attack—that’s the closest I’ve ever felt to this ‘butterfly’ feeling in my stomach...”

“That’s not what that is...” His lips were warm, and a little bit chapped... it was awkward, he was frozen in surprise, he obviously had no idea how to kiss—but that was okay. That’s what I expected—that was just so him. So you...

“—ha... Takumi...” He caught his breath for a second, I could feel his hot breath hitting my lips. “—I was supposed to be cool and sweep you off your feet first—!”

“Pft, you?”

“... that really hurts my feelings.”

“Hehe...” I snickered, letting my head drop. I was trying to play it cool... but I was feeling pretty nervous too, it’s not like I was a great kisser, either... If I was supposed to “take the lead” and show him what to do, I wasn’t exactly feeling confident—but I had to do my best. I’d come this far...

I looked up at him for a brief second—I couldn’t help but wonder if it still felt like kissing a burned-up skeleton if he kept his eyes closed, but—that thought was quickly snuffed out. I kissed him nice and soft, taking my time so he could get a feel for the rhythm of it—wah, his tongue already came out—“Mnn...” Wha—was that me?! He was kissing down into me, like he was trying to lap up the ice cream stuck in the bottom of the cone—whoa, why was his technique suddenly like, really good?!

“Hehe...” He pulled back, and I was practically melted into his arms. What the hell was that?! “I’ve left you speechless, have I, Takumi? Haha... well, I suppose I have my other self to thank—she really did have some good technique!”

“... what?” I barely caught what he said—what “other self”?!

He had such an unnervingly bright smile, his eyes were practically dancing. “You’re probably wondering why I had such a sudden change of heart! Well—I told you that last night, I thought I died in my sleep?” He rubbed his chin in thought, like he was just having a normal-ass conversation about the weather... “Well—I was actually visited by a ghost, if you can believe it! Haha... My future self with the dark glasses came to me in a dream, and he was really quite angry with me, you see—he was so jealous that I’d get to be the one to hold you when he never got the chance, so he threatened me that I better treasure every second I have with you and enjoy every inch of you, or else!” What, what, what?! “So, that’s what I intend to do—oh, I’m sorry, Takumi! It must’ve been because of our hemoanima, but it appeared that I was pulled into your bad dream as well—but I did get to see another me who was living happily as a woman, kissing you so passionately! I did my best to study her technique while I was there—I can’t say I’ve ever particularly felt like I was a woman inside, but you seemed to really like her, so it’s certainly something to consider...”

“... are you serious?” The gears in my brain finally started turning again. “What are you saying—you saw all that?!”

“Well, only a little... Oh, I’m sorry, Takumi! The me who was an evil lawyer was quite terrifying—I wish I could’ve reached in and pulled you away from him, but at least it was just a dream... At least, I think so...”

My forehead dropped into his shoulder. “You can’t be serious...”

“Aha... I’m afraid so.” He awkwardly pat my back, then warmly rubbed up and down with his palm. “It’s all right, though—I’m quite serious about keeping my promise to my other self!” Wah—his other hand was pushing up my thigh—“I intend to cherish every second I have with you, and treasure every inch of you...”

“RULEBREAKER!” A shrill whistle blew—oh my God, Sirei was standing there with his red eyes lit up. “Just hold your horses, partner—keep it above the waist in our fair school! This is a military academy, not a frat house!” My heart was pounding in my throat...

“Ohoho—the Honorable Sirei is correct!” Nigou was beaming next to him. “We must uphold certain conduct in our fair school—although interpersonal relationships are allowed so long as they don’t interfere with the mission at hand!”

“Oh, for the love of murder... There is no such rule—trust me, I checked.” I whipped around—Yugamu was standing above us in the walkway—oh my God. “Oh, hello, Takumi—I wasn’t trying to be a voyeur and watch you, I promise!” He smiled widely, whipping a handful of needles out between his fingers. “I was just keeping an eye out to make sure that guy didn’t try anything funny or make you cry!” He pocketed his needles, rubbing his chin. “Although I can’t say the same for the others...”

“Eep!” Someone yelped, and the bushes shook... that was totally Tsubasa’s voice, and I saw the corner of a green motorcycle jacket flutter from behind the same bush...

“... Well, this timeline’s a bust. I’m going back...”

“Wait, Takumi!” Eito laughed, steadying me by the shoulders. “Please don’t leave me behind... You promised, right?”

I was so humiliated, I almost felt numb to it... I just peered up at his face, at his stupidly honest eyes...

“Haha... Your face is so warm, you must be blushing quite intensely... Even if I can’t tell by looking at you, I can feel it...” His breath tickled my ear—he leaned down to whisper to me. “If there really is such a rule that everything has to ‘stay above the waist’... I think you should reconsider allowing me to destroy Sirei.”

Goosebumps rushed down my spine, tingling the crown of my head... Why was this happening?

“Oh, dear—are your ears your weak point, Takumi? Haha... You did have a rather cute reaction when I brushed your ear with my finger earlier... Like this...”

“Ah—!”

“Ah—what a cute noise! I hope I get to hear it again, and again, Takumi...”

This bastard... What did I get myself into?! I must really have bad taste...

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🥰 

I wanted to get to Takumi telling everyone about Earth and Futurum... but things just took a different turn 🤭 Lol my writing approach is to have a general outline that’s more like a PowerPoint—the main points and things I want to happen, with plenty of room for improvisation. And, well... I guess I just got swept up in it like Takumi 🙈 Believe it or not, they weren’t supposed to kiss this soon! (I say that as if it doesn’t end up happening in all my fics LOL)

I’m so excited to start the S.F. route at last! I’m stoked on the idea of incorporating elements of timeline-jumping—maybe Takumi and Eito will go around trying to save some Eitos who really went off the rails in other routes... Will it work? Who knows ;) But Takumi and Shion have already destroyed that brainwashing machine, so they’ll have to think of another way to fix Eito’s brain ;) Teehee 🤭

In that vein... I just want to thank you all, for being patient with my goofy ass while I made the incomprehensible decision to start writing a fic for a game with 100 endings after only getting 1 X’D It’s since come to my attention that the “Farewell” ending is what most folks consider the True Ending... well shit, I didn’t know that X’D I seriously thought the game was punishing me with such a bleak ending for trying to have it both ways with my hippie-dippie approach. I’ve played all the Zero Escape games, so I didn’t think you could just stumble your way into an ending with such finality on a first run—at least zoom in on the coffin while someone’s knocking on it from inside! (Even though that locked ending in 999 pissed me off to no end lol) Geez... Well, we’re here now, and thankfully the story’s all the better for it now that I have a wider breadth of what’s going on ( _b^_^)_b

So a very good question was brought up in the comments—Is Takumi a bottom in every timeline? X’D I laughed out loud at that, thank you. I do recommend going back and perusing all the lovely comments, as folks have a lot of good insight! But just to sum up my response—initially I said yes, I prefer bottom Takumi lol, but I see Eito as more of a clumsy top who doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing—like all his confidence when he’s going on his unhinged rants or fucking around with Takumi psychologically doesn’t transfer over to physical intimacy lol, I feel like he’d just be completely out of his depth and be awkward/freeze up (at least at first). He got lucky that his other self taught him her ways, but he won’t be able to pull from her experience forever haha. But he may be a quick learner, who knows ;) HOWEVER—after thinking over it some more, I feel like Eito could have a switchy side just waiting to blossom, girls! So my second response was basically, “Eito’s just so down bad for Takumi he’ll probably take it however he can get it.” XD Maybe Uncle Yugamu can help coach Takumi how to awaken his vers side X’D Oh, and even though I liked her quite a bit, there’s just the one Eito out there living her best transfemme life, our current Eito was just being a smartass when he said he’d consider it lol. I just hope she’s happy out there with her bottom bitch Takumi XD

Also... ahh I want to tell you guys, but I don’t want to spoil it 🫣 After thinking some more about it, there’s another unlikely ship that I actually really got attached to... ehehe, I can’t wait...

Oh also! Get this—I’m pretty sure Darumi made a reference to Monster! I think it was in the S.F. route but I could be misremembering—but she said, “Are we going to walk across steel beams and see who falls first?” That was something that scamp Johan Liebert convinced a bunch of kids to do—he told them the thrill of death is what makes you feel alive, and only those who survive are worthy and “chosen” by life. The kids who survived in the hospital were awestruck by this so-called revelation, they fully believed they saw behind the curtain and were the only ones worthy, and they couldn’t wait to get out of the hospital and do it again—disturbing stuff. Johan also tells one of them that he’s playing his own life-or-death game, and he’s rather “excited” that a Japanese doctor is coming to kill him any day now... lol for a nihilist he sure is a little freak, so that’s why I had Eito say that about the detonator XD

Hoo I have a lot of exciting ideas, back to timeline-jumping and cranking that outline I go, girls!

Thanks for reading, see you next time! 💖

Chapter Text

Chapter 7 – Take a Chance on Me

“So, Takumi!” Eito’s gentle smile was terrifying. “What’s with that black sludgy cloud that keeps following you around? Ahaha...”

I sighed. “If you’re asking ‘what’, then I don’t know—but if you’re asking ‘who’, then that’s probably just Yugamu.” I gave him a look expressing my displeasure with his passive-aggressive way of asking, but I honestly don’t know how well he can parse my facial expressions...

“I see...” His disingenuous smile still didn’t let up. “That’s the one who introduced himself as ‘teenage assassin, hopeless romantic, and all-around nice guy’... Ahaha...”

“Look, Eito—I’m just going to say this now, and I’ll only say this once.” I gave him a firm look. “All of our allies are important to me—Yugamu is no exception. I know you rubbed each other the wrong way yesterday, but believe it or not, even the two of you got along relatively well in my timeline.” I just kept going without taking a breath. “I know you’re not all the exact same people—but everyone’s equally precious to me. So if that’s going to be a problem for you—”

“—ah!” He put his hands up in surrender, his eyes going wide. “Wait, Takumi—I didn’t mean to upset you! I’m sorry...” He clutched his heart as his brows sloped deeply—oh, I realized I raised my voice without realizing it. Well, it was more like I was talking sternly at regular volume. “Haha... You must really mean that, then.” He seemed to recover, with a somewhat-unreadable smile. “Aha... You’re such a good leader, Takumi, always taking care of everyone—I’m sure everyone in your timeline admired you deeply.”

“... Are you being sarcastic?”

His brows sloped—he actually looked upset. “No, I’m not... I’m sorry, Takumi.” He scratched his hair, looking unsure. “I’m still not very good with these social situations, you see... Well, I suppose it’s more like...” He closed his eyes, gathering his thoughts. “I’m sure you’ve heard people in public-facing jobs talking about ‘customer service voice’?”

He seemed like he was actually being serious, so I might as well hear him out... “Yeah—I had a friend who worked at a clothing store back in the TRC.” It stung a bit to say that... that “friend” of Karua’s wasn’t even real.

“Is that so?” His smile was odd. “Well, at any rate—anyone who has to work with the public develops a ‘customer service voice’—it’s polite, it’s friendly, it’s to the point. But no matter how friendly your tone is, your ‘customer service voice’ isn’t you—it’s still a wall being put up between you and the ‘dear customer’.” He smiled disingenuously, seemingly on purpose. “You’re keeping the customer at arm’s length with your politeness—you’re never really interacting with them as yourself, because sometimes the ‘dear customer’ can just be so unreasonable, you don’t want to ever give them the opportunity to get to you, or worse—take that home with you, wracking your brain over how that interaction could’ve gone differently.” His smile was truly a mask. “If it’s the ‘customer service voice’ dealing with all of it, then you can smile and bear it all day. And before you know it, it’s time to clock out and go home.”

“... I guess so.” Hearing that, I think it says a lot more about Eito than your typical public servant.

[A/N: For some cultural nuance, public service culture in Japan is taken very seriously, the customer is called “お客様 (okyakusama)” which is extremely venerable and means “honored guest/customer”. Their version of “the customer is always right” is “お客様は神です (okyakusama wa kami desu/the customer is God)”. Like there’s no tipping culture, because impeccable customer service is just expected full stop, always. So while that jaded “clock in, clock out” mentality is pretty relatable to us in the West, Eito is being super cynical here given the cultural context.]

He smiled brightly. “So, I’m sure you know what it is I’m getting at, Takumi!”

I studied his face... He was fully behind a mask, just like our first timeline, when I didn’t suspect a thing... “You’ve been in ‘customer service voice’ your entire life... That’s what you’re trying to tell me.”

“Ah!” He surprised me—he actually smiled genuinely, his eyes were practically sparkling. “I knew you would get it, Takumi—you understand me so well! Haha!”

I couldn’t help but feel sad all over again, hearing that... It didn’t matter that those were all “implanted memories”—they’re the only memories he has. That’s the only life he’s led... One where he’s completely isolated from everyone else. It still doesn’t justify him turning that loneliness into murderous hatred, but...

“Oh, come now, Takumi!” He winked. “The last thing I need is your pity!” He surprised me again by taking my hand. “I told you all that to tell you...” ... Hm? He just trailed off abruptly... suddenly he was radiating nervous energy. “Haha... Well—it’s still not easy for me to interact with you as my genuine self. Haha... I suppose I have to just push through it... The longest journey requires a first step! Haha...” His laugh just sounded completely hollow, his smile looking more like a mask again. “Haha... Who am I anyway, Takumi?”

Without realizing it, I had taken his hand between both of mine, almost kneading it like I was comforting a child who had a bad dream. Well, it’s not like he would really complain about that...

“... Takumi?” He still sounded a little nervous...

I decided to just double-down. “Well... If you’re asking me who you are... The truth is, I don’t know.” I closed my eyes, lightly pressing his palm to my cheek, like his future self had done when he had no strength left... “The ‘you’ of my future was only able to be honest with me the very last second of his life.”

The library was quiet. I became aware of the cozy smell of old books, bordering right on the edge of smelling musty and cloying.

“... I see.”

... I found myself wishing there was at least a bit of library ambience—a librarian pushing a cart for book returns, mouses clicking and keyboards clacking, students who were studying together whispering quietly from their tables... It was just a little too quiet here without anyone else.

“Haha... Well, that’s sort of exciting in itself, isn’t it? We get to discover who I am together, Takumi...” Eito sounded like he regained a bit of his cheeriness... He didn’t exactly sound disingenuous, but... It was like he meant what he said, but he couldn’t help but add a layer of sarcastic optimism over it, like a protective cloak. It really was sad... I couldn’t blame him for having to do that—this Eito hadn’t done a 100-day cycle with me or anyone else, he never had the opportunity to make genuine connections—or he was never “forced to” through dire circumstances. He came here hot off of being convinced he was this “chosen one” who was supposed to eradicate mankind—he even believed he killed his own parents. That was just crazy, how could he say “I’ll make sure Takumi falls in love with me” if that’s the kind of person he genuinely thought he was? Wait—

My eyes shot up to him, and even he looked surprised.

“Ah—what is it, Takumi?”

I was studying his face carefully. I still don’t know what my facial expressions look like to him, but something dawned on his face—almost like he was reading my mind.

“Aha... Is there something you want to ask me, Takumi?”

I realized I was still holding his hand. “... There is.” I let my hand slip away as neutrally as I could. “You said your future self ‘visited you in a dream’... Are you sure you were really talking to a manifestation of him, it wasn’t just a fever dream?”

“Well—as skeptical as I am about those sorts of ‘supernatural occurrences’, as you rightly pointed out—yes, I am reasonably sure that I was speaking to my future self.” He smiled. “The ‘me’ that was so precious to you...”

“... I see.” Why did that almost sound like—whatever, I just had to stay focused. This is pretty important, if my intuition is correct. “Before I ask you this—what did he look like? Your future self...”

“Oh...” Eito rubbed his chin. “Well, he looked exactly the same as me, his hair was even the same length—the only difference was that he was wearing dark, opaque glasses. They weren’t those typical squared-off glasses for the visually-impaired, they looked more like extremely dark sunglasses.”

“I see... What else?”

“What else? Haha... You really want me to be sure, don’t you?” He had a small smile, looking up in the corner of his mind. “Well... I can’t be sure what it was, but there was a little spot of discoloration on the bridge of his glasses... like a yellowish spot where the black had rubbed off.” I knew it. “Perhaps it was from pushing his glasses up in that same spot over and over...”

“It wasn’t rubbed off—that was gold paint.” I almost breathed a sigh of relief. So... he was really there that night. Well—at least a hemoanima “manifestation” of him… “You got a smudge of it there from some gold puff paint that wasn’t dried all the way, when you were practicing reading and writing in braille... I thought it was cute so I just never said anything.” Suddenly I felt shy saying that out loud... I never even mentioned it to Shion, it was just something I quietly observed for myself. “You rubbed most of it off by touching your glasses there so much, anyway... But some flecks of gold still stuck around on the front of the bridge.”

“I see... Haha, that must be a precious memory for you.” He sounded, well... as passive-aggressive as when he asked about that “black sludge following me around”—but also like he was trying not to be. Eito sure was complicated... “Well—since you’re sure now that I was talking to my future self, what do you want to ask me, Takumi?”

I looked right into his face, so he couldn’t hide anything. “What did he tell you about the future?”

“Aha...” He pushed up his glasses in that same way. “Well—before you get too excited, it seems my ‘future self’ was still a bit bitter towards me, so he didn’t tell me very much—or perhaps, he just wanted me to figure it out for myself.” He had an odd smile. It was true that the only person Eito trusted was himself—so it must be a surreal feeling. “But... He did tell me, ‘By the way—you didn’t kill your parents or blow up that hospital.’” My breath hitched in my throat. “‘That was just a false memory.’ Haha... Now, I wonder what that could mean?” It was his turn to look me full in the face. “A false memory, originating from where? Does my ‘cognitive disorder’ extend to more parts of my brain than I realize... Or was that memory implanted there by someone, or something else?” It was getting a little harder to maintain eye contact with him... “Takumi? It must be hard for you to keep such important secrets about the future to yourself... Why don’t you confide in me? I won’t tell anyone—it’ll be our little secret!”

I closed my eyes. “I’m sorry, Eito—but I agree with your future self on this one. There’s a good reason I’ve been holding off on explaining everything in full—you’re just going to have to trust me.” I looked up at him again. “I intend to tell everyone everything, when it’s the right time—and that includes you.” That was my intention yesterday, if he hadn’t stolen the show... “But—I wouldn’t be surprised if you figure things out for yourself before anyone else, anyway.”

“Haha—is that your way of praising me?” Ugh... “Well, it’s true—I am head and shoulders above the rest of our peers in that way.” This guy... It’s not like he was wrong, but he didn’t have to be a dick about it, even sarcastically... “Although... That Hiruko seems like a shrewd woman. Aha... I wonder if you’ve noticed her looking at you as if she’s trying to figure out something?”

“What?” Well, now that he mentioned it...

“Haha... I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s onto you too, Takumi—she’s probably cottoned on to the fact that there’s still something pretty big that you’re not telling us. I’m sure she’s been trying to deduce what that is. Or maybe... She knows something that even you don’t.”

“That’s impossible—” I just blurted it out, but... Thinking back to my second timeline, there were some times when Hiruko would trail off while talking to me… and when Shouma dropped his big bombshell about us being bio-weapons developed at Kamukura General Hospital... She seemed the least surprised, as if some part of her already knew... If that was true—I really needed to talk to her one-on-one before making any big announcements. If she could be my ally and confidant in this, then—

“Is it impossible? Haha... I’d say that moving through time is quite ‘impossible’, isn’t it?”

“... I guess that’s fair enough.” I realized I was all tensed up in my chair, and willed myself to relax. There probably wasn’t a chance that he would tell me now—I could practically predict what he’d say. “Aha, well I’m allowed to have secrets with my own ‘self’, aren’t I?” “Did he tell you anything else important? Your future self... I just want to know if we’re on the same page.” It was a last-ditch effort to persuade him to tell me by phrasing it that way... he probably saw through it anyway, though.

“Aha... Well, Takumi—it’s only fair that I have my own reasons for keeping that to myself—at least, for now. I’m sure you understand?”

“Yeah... I do.” Well—at least I tried.

He got one of those worryingly bright smiles... “But, you did ask me so sincerely... Maybe if you ask me a little more cutely, I’ll be persuaded to tell you.”

“Ugh...” If it was something I really needed to know, I could probably stomach it... At least he wasn’t asking me to get on my knees and beg. That seemed in-character for him, for some reason...

“Oh, and don’t worry about how a burned-up skeleton is supposed to look ‘cute’ to me... You’ll just have to trust me, Takumi!”

Haah... Well, it’s not like I have anything to lose. I might as well try... I would like to find out what “cute” means to him, at any rate...

I pushed out my chair, circling around the table. He was watching me with an almost apprehensive expression.

I pulled out the chair next to him, sitting sideways so we were facing each other. I took both of his hands in mine. “Please...” My eyes flicked up to his, as I stroked the back of his hand with my fingers... “I’d really like to know... it’s important.” I flicked my eyes away shyly, like something out of a shoujo manga...

The library was quiet... was that too much?

“Ugh...” His brows were sloped deeply—he looked genuinely in distress. “I didn’t think that you’d actually do it, Takumi...” If mushrooms could sprout all over him, they would... “Well—I suppose I did give my word...” Honestly—for all I know he did want me to do that, he was just so embarrassed by it he was trying to walk it back now. “Aha... It’s a little embarrassing, but...” He was stroking my hands, now... “He told me not to wait... If there’s something important I needed to say. Haha...” I couldn’t look anywhere else but our hands—this was a double-dose of humiliation all over again... “You see? That’s why I would’ve preferred to just keep that to myself...”

“Geez...” I knew that there had to be more to it than that, but—I wouldn’t get it out of him by pestering him, so there wasn’t much point. “I guess it’s your own self, so you’re allowed to have secrets.” I finally let go of his hands—I did it more abruptly than I meant to, but it was starting to get a little awkward.

“Hmm.” Eito’s eyes were closed. “Takumi—I’m sure you don’t mean anything by it... But from now on, you should try not to say ‘you’, when you’re talking about that other person from your future...”

“Oh—” I was caught off guard by that, I didn’t even realize I was saying it. “You’re right—he isn’t you. I do need to keep that in mind, for everyone else, too...” For some reason, that made me feel guilty. I kept saying “you” when I was talking to Yugamu, too... although if it bothered him, he didn’t let it show.

“Haha... Like I said, I’m not upset. I just wanted to let you know.” His smile actually looked a little softer. “I believe in your promise to look only at me...” Well... I didn’t say it quite that intimately—what I said was, “I’ll see you for who you are.” At least, I think so... Honestly, that whole exchange yesterday is kind of a blur—I think my brain shut down from the two-hit combo of embarrassment in one day. I don’t even remember how I got back to my room—all the sudden I was just curled up into a little ball under my covers with my face burning.

Ugh, stupid Sirei, stupid Nigou... Since when was that a rule?? Gah, and everyone else—I’m sure they were just worried about me, but did they literally have to hide behind a bush?? Was there anyone else there I should know about? Was Shion hovering just out of sight, too? Gah—I hope not, I don’t think a “relationship” like mine and Eito’s would really be a good influence on him...

“Takumi—whatever are you thinking about? Haha...” Eito’s eyes were crescents behind his glasses. “You know... When you’re blushing, it looks like your skeleton is smoking, almost like you have steam coming out of your ears, haha...”

“That’s some imagery...” I tried to will myself to relax, scooting back my chair a smidge so we weren’t right on top of each other... “I still don’t really understand the disconnect—you can feel that I’m flesh and blood, but I still look like a skeleton to you? Even when you’re touching me at the same time?” I realized after I already said it how absurd and forward that sounded...

“Hmm...” His eyes were closed. “Let me see if I can give you an example.” He opened the notebook he brought with him, uncapping his pen. He started drawing a geometric shape that looked like the end of a fork with neat, even lines...

“Oh, I recognize that—it’s that famous optical illusion.”

“Exactly so—it’s called the ‘impossible trident’.” He rounded out the ends of the trident so they looked like three-dimensional columns. “It’s also been called ‘the devil’s tuning fork’.” He turned the notebook so I could see. He replicated it perfectly—the middle prong of the trident wasn’t actually connected to anything, the lines making it up were actually the negative space between the other two prongs, which were neither in the foreground nor the background. It really does mess with your eyes to look at it too long... “It’s sort of like this, Takumi—looking at this trident, it’s truly an impossible object—but our eyes want to make sense of it, so they keep wandering up and down the lines, trying to make them connect... Haha, even though I can feel you, and I know you have the warmth of life under your skin... my eyes still just want to see you as a skeleton.” He turned the notebook back to face him. “That’s why I prefer to touch you with my eyes closed… I can imagine what you really look like, then...” ... This guy really had no filter.

“I see... Ahem.” I lightly cleared my throat. What do I even say to that...

“Aha... I wonder if our chaperone has reached his limit yet?”

... Sirei was in the corner of the room, looking like he had sweat himself into a puddle. “Yeesh—youngsters these days sure are straightforward with their feelings!” He sopped himself up with a small towel. “Whatever happened to ‘the moon is beautiful tonight’?”

“Aha, well I say that, too...”

“Ugh—so that was on purpose!”

“Haha, of course, Takumi... I’m always very honest about my feelings. You should know that by now!”

“Ugh...” What did I do to deserve this...

[A/N: Eito’s surname 蒼月 is very literal, being made up of the kanji for “blue” and “moon”, so it’s kind of perfect for him :3]

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I’ll have to make multiple trips to the Gift-O-Matic and back—but it’ll all be worth it. I don’t want anyone to feel more apprehensive about Eito than they already do, with me “doting” on him incessantly and leaving them out to dry… So today, I just want every single person here to know they’re appreciated. I just hope I was able to keep it straight what everyone liked...

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Tsubasa’s eyes went wide when she saw the 35mm film camera. “Takumi—what’s this?!”

Suddenly I felt a bit sheepish. “Well—I hope you don’t mind that I borrowed some information from the future.” I rubbed the back of my hair. “I heard that you liked to go around the city taking photos on film with your Grandpa, and developing them back in his home studio... While we’re here, I hope that camera can help you think of him.”

Her eyes were practically shining. “Takumi—that’s so thoughtful!” She threw her arms around me. “Ooh—thank you! No, I don’t mind at all—borrow as much info as you want from the future! Hehe!”

I pat her back. “I’m glad you like it.” Whew… if Eito’s little “stunt” did me any favors, the girls would probably be more comfortable around me—they probably all thought I was gay. Well, whatever—that might as well be true, it’s not like I’m going to cheat or break up after all that trouble getting Eito to come around... I always respected all the girls as comrades and friends, I’ll just be happy if they thought of me that way, too... [A/N: I guess this never really came up until now, but I just read Takumi as bi. But since he’s a gentleman, he doesn’t act weird around the girls and treats everyone the same :3]

She looked up at me a bit shyly when she pulled back. “Um... Takumi?” She clutched her arm. “—I just want to apologize!” She surprised me by bowing deeply.

“Whoa—it’s okay! It’s no big deal...”

“—it’s just that Takemaru was worried about you, that’s all!” She pumped her fists, her eyes scrunched in embarrassment. “I saw him down in the courtyard, and I asked him what the heck he was doing hiding behind the bush—and he said he just wanted to make sure that guy wasn’t coercing you to do anything you didn’t want to do!”

I breathed a sigh of relief. “It’s all right... I mean, it was embarrassing when I realized everyone and their mom was watching... But I know you guys were just looking out for me, so I appreciate it. Really...”

She still looked a bit pink when she finally gave me a smile. “Well... that’s all I wanted to say. Oh, but—it’s not like we could hear what you were saying or anything!” Haah... But she heard when Yugamu called them out just fine...

百

“Whoa, man—I can really have these?” Takemaru pulsed his fingers, the driving gloves fitting him like—well, a glove. “Aw, man—I can tell these are pretty durable, but the material’s so flexible—” He beamed at me. “Takumi! Thanks, man—you just about turned me into mush!”

“Haha—well, I’m glad you’ll be able to get some use out of them.”

He flexed his bicep. “Wanna go for a ride with me and break these babies in?”

Hoo boy… “Sure thing—do you have an extra helmet?”

“‘Course—safety always comes first when you ride with Takemaru Yakushiji!” Why did that almost sound suggestive... “—Hey, so, uh...” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Haah... Look, man—yesterday, it’s not like we were tryin’ to spy on ya, honest...” He sighed loudly, his hand dropping heavily. “I just saw ya walkin’ across the courtyard with that guy, and ya looked a little upset... Guess my ‘big bro’ instinct kicked in, that’s all.” He tried to laugh it off, pounding his palm with his fist. “That’s all... Me an’ Tsubasa were just tryin’ to look out for ya. Sorry if that made it weird...”

I smiled, though I still felt a little lingering embarrassment. “It’s fine—I understand. I appreciate you guys looking out for me.”

“Ya mean that?”

“Yeah... Just do me a favor—if you think I’m in a weird situation, just come up and talk to me. There’s no need to literally hide behind a bush...”

“That’s—” He cut himself off, avoiding eye contact. “Haah... Well, I was gonna... but then things got a little...” Haah... That was probably when Eito started touching my face like that blind girl making the clay bust in that old music video...

“I get it...”

The vibe was a little awkward—he was trying not to embarrass me, but it was impossible not to feel embarrassed... I guess it was better that he acknowledged it at all.

“Aw hell, Takumi—I’m just sayin’, it’d be awkward to see my pal gettin’ cozy with anyone out of nowhere—it’s got nothin’ to do with the fact that he’s a dude, just so ya know...”

I smiled. “I know that—thank you, though.”

His brows furrowed deeply, scowling somewhere to the side. “Does it have to be that guy, though? The dude’s just such a wild card—you sure you know what he’s thinkin’?”

“... Well, to be honest, no—I don’t have any idea what he’s thinking.” I could feel that I had an odd smile—it almost felt like Eito’s disingenuous smile. “But—that’s part of the fun, isn’t it?”

Takemaru was studying my face, as if he wasn’t sure if I was being serious. “Damn, man—if that’s your kinda ‘fun’, then you’re wilder than the guys in my gang.”

I actually laughed. “Well, I’ve never been accused of that before...” Hmm... Maybe there was a side of me that was a little excited by the unpredictability, how objectively stupid it was to trust someone so untrustworthy... In retrospect, a sincere “what you see is what you get” guy like Yugamu would’ve actually been the safer choice. I must really just have bad taste...

百

“Haah? What’s this?” Gaku took the folk song compilation from my hands. “Aw, man—well, I guess I can pawn it for a little scratch when we get back.”

I sighed. “I know money’s tight for you, Gaku—but it won’t do us much good while we’re stuck here for the next ninety-some-odd days.” I tried to smile. “I wanted to get you something you could enjoy while we’re here—I know you have a soft spot for folk songs and enka ballads.”

“Where the heck did you hear that?!” Gaku bit his nails. “You been stalking me, or what?!”

“You told me yourself in my future... Where else would I hear it?”

“Aw, geez...” He peered at the back of the album, turning it over in his hands. “Well... I’ll accept it this time—but next time, make sure to make me a gold bar in that Gift-O-Matic!” It was just fool’s gold...

“Sure, Gaku—whatever you want.” I smiled. “Do you have some nice memories taking your siblings to festivals where they play this kind of music?”

“Pft—as if!” He put a hand on his hip. “Every time I took those brats to a festival, they always whined and cried until I spent every last yen on candy apples and masks and fishing games—the stupid smiles on their faces weren’t even worth it!!”

“I see... What about cherry blossom viewing?”

“Ugh—those kids did nothing but run around and wrestle in the grass like imps!! It wasn’t relaxing watching the blossoms fall at all...”

I smiled. “I see—what else did you take them to?”

百

“... What’s this?” Hiruko took the lavender-scented candle from my hand. “For me?” Her eyes flicked up to me. “How did you know I liked this scent?”

“Well—that’s what your perfume is, right? Lavender?” I gave her a smile. “I know you like to take time to unwind and relax, and treat yourself a little.”

“Hmph.” She folded her arms, holding the candle in one hand. “That’s what ‘I’ like to do, is it?”

“Um... Well, I hope so...”

She gave me a sharp look, then sighed. “Well... You got lucky this time.” She pushed up her glasses. “But don’t assume that all of us are exactly the same as these ‘future selves’ from your timeline.” Her eyes went to the side. “It’ll probably be easier for you that way.”

That sounded a little ominous... “I’ll keep that in mind.” Suddenly, I felt like I did something wrong... I was dying to ask her if she “knew” something I didn’t—but the words just wouldn’t come. “Um... You do like the candle, right?”

She sighed. “I’ll accept it gratefully.” Whew...

百

Shouma’s eyes were sparkling. “Oh...” Then, he winced, holding his arms out to shield himself from the fluffy shiba inu plush. “I-I can’t take that! Such a precious pup would probably burst at the seams in sadness being hugged by a worthless—”

“Shouma—please.” I held up the plushie for him. “Just look in his eyes... He wants you to take him home.” My brows sloped. “You don’t want him to get shoved up on some shelf and forgotten about all alone, right?”

“Wah!” He reached out and grabbed the plush, hugging it to his chest. “Oh, how sad! Poor little doggie... If being hugged by human waste like me is better than being abandoned up on the shelf, then I’ll happily take you home...!” His cheeks got a healthy blush. “Hehe...” He stroked the dog’s soft synthetic fur. I almost wanted to pat Shouma on the head myself…

百

I handed Ima his gift first, as a “peace offering”... “Here, Ima—I wanted to get you something practical that you can use every day.”

“Oh, my—Mr. Sumino, what could it be?!” He took the small box from me, just barely resisting the urge to shake it against his ear.

“And for you, Kako...” I handed her another small gift box.

“Wow—for me, Mr. Takumi?!” Her eyes were sparkling.

I took a step back. “All right—you can open them!” They both tore into their boxes like it was Christmas morning—

“Oh, woow!” Kako’s eyes were poring over the detective’s essentials kit. “Look, Ima—there’s a compass, magnifying glass, a pocket watch, binoculars, a notebook—ooh, and even a fingerprint duster and some luminol for identifying blood stains!”

“Oh, my... You really did your research on my dear sister’s interests, Mr. Sumino.” Ima was eyeing me suspiciously.

“Well—I hope you forgive me from borrowing some of my info from the future, but I know it’s been your dream to follow in your parents’ footsteps as a detective, Kako...”

“Oh...” She pressed the kit to her chest. “Yes... that’s true.” She looked a little upset, but I think they were “happy tears”.

“Kako...” Ima rubbed her back, and she nodded her head as if to say, “I’m okay!” Oh—he just called her by her name, I don’t know if he even realized it... “Well—let’s see what Mr. Sumino got me...” He gingerly opened the box. “... A lacquered comb?” He looked a bit stunned... “It looks so expensive—you should take it back, I don’t need something like this!”

“Ima... Don’t think of it as ‘too expensive’...” I gently pushed the box back into his hands. “Think of it as ‘well-made’… I want you to be able to use this comb for a long time, and not have to replace it anytime soon.” I smiled. “The two of you deserve nice things.”

For once, Ima was stunned into silence. Kako looked up at me with teary eyes, but she was still smiling.

“Thank you, Takumi... We’ll treasure these gifts forever!” Ugh—now I feel like I want to cry, I just want to wrap them both up in a hug...

百

“Whooaa, what’s this?” Darumi took the hacked game console from my hands. “Oh—I already have one of these!”

I winked. “Yeah, but... this one’s a homebrew that’s been jailbroken so you can download all the discontinued games and romhacks you want...” I hope I got my terminology right...

“Wha?!” She was so excited, it practically flew out of her hands. “What the heck?! Takumi—how do you know me so well?! Kyohohoho—‘discontinued games’ are the magic words—hey, that means the banned ones too, right?!”

“Whatever you want—as long as the ISO’s still hosted somewhere, it’s yours.”

“All right! Hehehehe—it’s KILLING GAME TIME!!” Her tongue lolled out of her mouth like a happy dog.

百

I tensed up my muscles, winding back the heavy folding chair... “And it’s Takumi with the steel chair!!” I swung with all my might, stopping just short of her back and giving her a light tap.

“Ah!! What great energy, Takumi—that’s what it’s all about, brother! Such a classic!” Moko beamed, turning around and eyeing the chair in my hands. “Hey—what’s that made out of, anyway?”

“Take a swing for yourself.” I handed it to her by the leg.

“Whoa-ho!” She faced away from me, swinging the chair a few times like it was made of balsa wood. “It’s got the right heft, but it’s so aerodynamic! This is fabulous!” Her eyes lit up. “Thank you, Takumi—wanna practice some kayfabe with me? I’ll even be the heel!”

“Haha—sure.” I’m not much of an actor—but I’ll do my best.

百

“I thought you might appreciate the historical significance, on top of its practical usage...”

Kurara was eyeing the immaculate silverware set. “Indeed—fine silverware such as this induces a chemical reaction when poison is present in the food.” She sighed like someone who had never done a hard day’s work in her life. “A noblewoman such as myself has many enemies and jealous admirers, so exercising the utmost caution is necessary.”

“Right—well, even if we never have to use it for its intended purpose, I still want your famous Oosuzuku curry to have high-class tableware to go with it.”

“Ohoho—now you’re finally cottoning on, peasant!” Her tomato head grinned. “Well—since you’re so desperate for a taste of my curry... Why don’t you get down on your knees and beg for it? I may be persuaded to take time out of my precious day to meticulously prepare a batch...” Honestly—I might just have to get on my knees and beg for it, it was that good...

百

“Sir Takumi!” Kyoshika was already blushing and flustered. “Is this a gift for the Holy Jumonji Sword?”

“It is—and before you ask, I have a gift for you, too.” I know it’s a little unfair to the others, but—I didn’t want her to be upset if I didn’t get her and the sword their own presents...

She took the polishing powder and the anko-filled snacks from me. “Oh, Sir Takumi... Waah!!” Tears were streaming down her face. “Nobody has ever considered the feelings of the Holy Jumonji Sword when presenting me with a gift! Waah—you are truly kind, Sir Takumi!” Maybe it would’ve been better to just get her the polishing powder...

百

I carefully shifted the telescope in one arm against my body, so I could knock on her door. “Nozomi?” I waited...

Eventually I heard her shuffling behind the door. “Who is it?”

“It’s Takumi—I want to show you something, I think you’d like it!”

“Oh, Takumi!” She opened the door. “What is—oh!” She gasped, a smile spreading across her face. “Oh my gosh—is that a real telescope?”

“Yeah! Well—it should be fully-functional... it is out of the Gift-O-Matic, though.”

“Let’s take a look at it, then...” She excitedly closed her door behind her. “Would you mind helping me set it up?”

“Sure—just point me to where you want me to set it down.” She was so easy to talk to... Well, I did have a “lifetime” of memories talking to Karua just like this.

She had a shy smile as she led me to the edge of the rooftop. “Takumi... I suppose my ‘future self’ must’ve told you about my interest in astronomy, right?”

“Yeah—I hope that doesn’t feel invasive, but it’s something you talked about a lot...”

“I see...” She tucked a loose lock of hair behind her ear. “Takumi... I’m sorry that I don’t remember you.” She walked along with her hands clasped behind her back. “It seems like some of the others think of you as an old friend... but for whatever reason it didn’t quite ‘stick’ for me—oh, but that’s okay!” She laughed lightly. “I’m happy for all of you—really.”

“Don’t worry about it—I went into it expecting you to not remember me.” I shifted the telescope in my arms. “It’s more like the others’ ‘future selves’ are speaking to them through me... Your cryptoglobin isn’t that strong in the first place, so there’s nothing to feel bad about.”

“... ‘Cryptoglobin.’” She stopped in front of the fence. “So... You probably know a lot if you’re calling it that instead of ‘hemoanima’...”

“Yeah...” I delicately set down the telescope, making sure it was balanced correctly. “Nozomi... I’m really sorry if this sounds presumptuous of me, but...” She finally looked at me. “In my timeline, when the others figured out that you weren’t an intended member of the Special Defense Unit—some of them started getting suspicious and doubting you... Kurara especially got her feelings hurt, because she doesn’t take it well when she thinks someone’s ‘lying’ to her...” Predictably, Nozomi looked hurt when she heard that, she was clutching her arm tightly. “I’m really sorry—I just wanted you to know, and consider whether you want to just tell them how you got here sooner rather than later, so it doesn’t come to that...”

“... I see.” She looked like she was on the verge of tears. “I see... Thank you for telling me, Takumi.”

“Ugh, I’m so dumb—I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have told you that out of nowhere—”

“No, no—it’s fine.” She tried to smile. “I understand where you’re coming from... You’re just looking out for me like you do for everyone else... haha, I can see how the others in your group thought of you as their leader.” She finally stopped clutching your arm. “I’ll consider what you’ve said... I think I just need some time to think it over.” Her eyes were to the side. “It’s not easy for me to talk about my past...”

“I understand—and I’m sorry for knowing so much about your future self one-sidedly...”

“Heehee… well, I must have really trusted you if I told you all that. Didn’t I?”

“... You did. Well—that version of you did.” It’s time to correct one of my mistakes from last time. “But I know you’re not the same person—that’s why I wanted to go around spending time with everyone today, to get to know everyone as they are. Not as echoes from my future, but... themselves.” I hope I got across what I meant right...

She laughed lightly—just like Karua. “Well, I’m sure everyone could tell how sincere you were. Especially if you actually spent time with them like this, and didn’t just shove a gift into their hands like some kind of bribe.”

“Haha—no way, I know everyone would see right through me if I tried to chuck a gift at them and run...”

“Haha...” She was finally looking more comfortable. “Takumi—I’ll keep an eye out for the next clear night, do you want me to show you how to use this telescope then?”

“Yeah—I’d really like that.”

“Glad to hear it—then let’s leave this here for now.” She lightly pumped her fists. “I’m sure it’ll be safe.”

“Yeah—I doubt the others would mess with it, it’ll be fine out here.”

“Great! Then it’s a plan!” She finally smiled sincerely. “I think I’m going to go rest in my room for the evening—thank you for bringing this to me, Takumi. It was really thoughtful.”

What she just said jumped out at me—“Are you feeling all right?”

“Oh, yes—to be honest, I was just up late writing in my journal.” She smiled with a little embarrassment. “But I didn’t want to miss everyone for breakfast our first day with both teams, so I forced myself to get up early...”

“Ah—I see.” Well... I guess it’s okay to just take her word for it, she didn’t appear to have any of the fever-like symptoms of rejection syndrome... It never happened this early in my timelines, anyway.

“Well, Takumi… thank you again, I hope you enjoy the rest of your day with everyone.” She waved.

“Yeah—you too, I hope you feel well-rested for tomorrow.”

“Hehe—I’m sure I will. Thank you.” She walked back between the gap to the second row of cabins.

I looked at the telescope glinting in the sun, trying to run back that conversation in my head, seeing if there’s anything I could’ve said better... Honestly, all thing considered—I think it went as well as it could have. I’m sure she’ll have a lot to think about tonight... but as long as I gave her the tools to help come to the decision that worked best for her, then I’m happy with that.

百

“Well, I don’t want your skills to get rusty without any live specimens, so...” I lugged the huge anatomical model up onto the table. “I thought you could get some good use out of this.”

Yugamu’s eye widened. “Ooh...” He started feeling up the clear yellow side of the chest made of military-grade ballistics gel... “Takumi... this is quite exciting.” He had a dark glint in his eye... “You realize this is practically a proposal to commit lovers’ suicide, in my eyes, ehehe...”

“In what universe?” I sighed. I know not to necessarily take everything Yugamu says literally, but... “Well—if that’s your way of saying you like it, then I’m satisfied with that...”

“‘Like it’?” He gave me that scary smile. “I may just have to double my patrols to catch that one acting up... Don’t worry, Takumi—when Eito Aotsuki inevitably steps out of line, I’ll pump his neck full of needles so I can catch you on the rebound.”

“Geez... I know you’re just joking, but I hope you know you’re worth more than being someone’s second choice or ‘rebound’.”

“Ehehe... Careful, Takumi—a guy could really fall in love with you if you keep talking like that.”

“Haah...” Well—at least I was like, 90% sure he was just joking... “So—you’ll be able to get some good use out of this model?”

“Will I ever...” He whipped out his scalpel, licking it in what I’m sure he thought was a sexy way... “Takumi... Will you watch me?”

“Um...” Why was a feeling of dread washing over me... “I guess I can...”

He hugged himself while a tingle practically danced over his whole body. “Hoo... I don’t know what you got up to with my future self, but this will be my first time having you watch me work... It’s so exciting, I feel like a virgin being touched for the very first time... ehehehe...” Now it was my turn to get a tingle all down my spine, but it wasn’t exactly pleasant...

百

Yugamu was practically drooling as he finally tucked his scalpel in his robe. “... Was it good for you too, Takumi?”

My eyes traveled over all the precise incisions in the anatomical model, without a millimeter wasted—it was fascinating watching him work, I’ll have to admit. “You moved with such calm precision—like a figure skater gliding over the ice.”

“... Can you say that again, while patting my head?”

“Geez...” I snickered. “Well—I’m just glad you have a healthy way to channel those ‘predilections’ of yours.”

“You’re so kind, Takumi. Ehehe... You don’t try to pretend that my eccentricities aren’t there—it’s rare that I feel so accepted outside of my own family.” Then his grin softened somewhat. “Hmm... I’m sure my future self told you all about my complicated feelings towards the family profession... Someday, would you be willing to listen when I’m ready to tell you all about it?”

I smiled. “Of course—you guys can tell me anything, it doesn’t matter if I’ve ‘heard it before’ or not.”

“Ehehe... You really are quite something, Takumi.” His eye became a crescent. “I really hope that Eito character stays true to his word, and treasures every inch of you while he can...”

“Ugh...” I pressed my palms into my eyes. “Please, don’t remind me...” Just when I forgot about it, too...

I just heard him snickering. “I just find it inspiring, that’s all. Hehe... Perhaps I’ll find my own precious person to whisper sweet nothings to while they gaze into my eye...”

I finally chanced a look at him. “I hope so, too—like I said, I’ll be your wingman if you want it.” Oh, oops—I said that to his future self.

“‘My wingman’... how intriguing.” He grinned, somewhat-worryingly. “Well—I’ll certainly give you a call should the need arise, Takumi.” His eye flicked to me. “Or do you have someone in mind for me already? Hehe...”

“Well...” Not exactly, honestly... Those of us who were left didn’t really seem like his ideal candidate... And that included me. But I do really want Yugamu to find somebody who’s perfect for him, that’s one of my new “secret” goals for this timeline...

“Hehe... I see. It’s perfectly fine that I’m not everyone’s cup of tea—I’m not bothered by that in the least.” He gave me a bright smile. “I’d rather live true to myself than try to fit into a mold that pleases others... Even if it means I’m doomed to always play the bridesmaid.”

“That’s not true—I know there’s someone out there for you. I mean, it was—” Oh my God—I almost blurted out, “It was almost me.” The guilt started washing over me again...

“Hmm.” Yugamu folded his arms, humming in contentment. “Well, since you believe in me so strongly, Takumi—I’ll be sure to keep an open mind and one eye open. Hehe... My priority right now is to make sure we all survive this war to the end—but a whirlwind romance blooming on the battlefield is exciting, too...”

“What about a more low-key relationship?” His eye instantly shot to me. “Um—I just mean... Would you find it refreshing to be with someone who was more down-to-earth and stable? You know, grounding...” Maybe I gave too much away there...

His usual wide smile was tinged with just a hint of sadness. “My, my... That future self of mine really trusted you with his most intimate secrets, Takumi. Hehe...”

“Sorry...”

“Don’t apologize.” He shrugged. “I suppose... I don’t know what my answer to that would be. Perhaps after fighting battle after battle here and reaching my limit with loveless murder, I was looking for someone more stable to ground me... It’s impossible to say.” Then he smirked at me. “What about you, Takumi? Do you prefer the more ‘stable, grounded’ type?”

“Well...” Before I ever came here... yeah. At least, that’s what I wanted in my “memories”, when I was opening up to Karua about wanting to put myself out there once I got into college... But, all of that was up in smoke as soon as I was yanked out of that pod and started my life “for real”—there was no such thing as “stability” in this war. I learned that the hard way... Maybe that’s why it didn’t seem so outrageous for me to be drawn to the most eccentric characters in this place... and that was saying something. “I guess... It doesn’t matter what I prefer—I’m just trying to see how things go one day at a time.”

Yugamu had a small smile. “I see. Well, then—I’ll stop teasing you and support you in your endeavor, like the stand-up guy that I am.”

I smiled at him. “Thanks, Yugamu—I appreciate that. Really.”

He lightly coughed into his fist. If I didn’t know better, I’d say that almost embarrassed him... “Yes, well... ‘If you change your mind~ Yugamu’s first in line~ Takumi, I’m still free~ Kill them all with me~’”

I laughed. “I don’t think that’s how that goes.”

“What, you haven’t heard the classic pop hit ‘Kill Them All with Me’? Ehehe...”

“Is that up there with chart-toppers like ‘Lizard on a Chair’?”

“Oh, I know that one—‘Ohhh, we’re halfway there~ Whoa-oaah!~ Lizard on a chair~’”

“Geez...”

“‘Take my hand~’” I just did it without thinking, I only noticed when he was twirling me under his arm... “‘And I’ll break it, I swear~’”

“Those definitely aren’t the words!”

“Ehehe... Well, I don’t want to have to pay copyright now, do I?”

I just rolled my eyes. Yugamu danced with me a little more, in that cheesy way people do in movies with one arm held straight out... Honestly, this is nice. That’s how it was before, we were just really comfortable with each other like this, joking around and being physically close like gal pals—getting “really close” just felt like a natural progression at the time. But... this feels nice. Yugamu said it himself yesterday—a special relationship doesn’t have to be romantic or sexual. It was just a matter of enjoying our friendship for what it was… and I think now, I’ll really be able to do that sincerely.

Even though he obviously liked teasing me, at least Yugamu put his money where his mouth is—even in this goofy exaggerated dance, he had the decency to not press me all up on him, “leaving enough room to fit your commanding officer,” as Sirei barked at us when we did a folk dance during the festival...

“Hehe, are you thinking of a precious memory?”

I closed my eyes. “Yeah... Even with everything else going on, we still found time to slow down and take a moment to just enjoy all being together.” I could still see all the stalls and the soft orange lanterns, smell the takoyaki and Oosuzuki curry, and hear Gaku’s ridiculous music choices... “I have a lot of precious memories with all of us.” And I’ll only make more in the future—I’ll make sure of it.

“Hehe... how sweet.” He gave me another spin, then let his hand slip away at just the right time before it started feeling too indulgent. “It’ll be nice when this motley crew starts to feel more like a family... Those are the feelings you brought back with you, aren’t they?” It was interesting that he chose to use the word “family”... “Hehe... I’m trying to not make it a competition with my future self, and take each day one at a time, as well.”

“Oh—that reminds me.” I smiled a bit sheepishly. “I should apologize—I kept saying ‘you’ when I was talking about your ‘future self’—I know you’re not the same person. So I just need to try harder so my language reflects that...”

“Hehe... Well, that’s considerate of you, Takumi—but I wasn’t offended.” Yugamu shrugged. “After all—it’s thanks to my future self putting in the hard work that I can take his word for it that you’re a friend worth holding onto... ehehe.”

“Oh... Well, thank you for that...” He just said it so straightforwardly, just like the way the Yugamu from my future used to tease me—riding right up to the line. “Well—it wasn’t just me, everyone became a friend worth hanging onto in my future... I can say that for sure, if nothing else.”

“How precious...” He rubbed his chin, with a wicked grin. “Well, I suppose that must be true, if I even bowed out gracefully to let that crazy Eito steal my spot...”

“Geez... I keep telling you, it wasn’t like that!”

He snickered. “All right... I’ll stop teasing you, Takumi.” His eye was a crescent. “After all, that wasn’t me.”

百

It was Nigou’s turn to “babysit” as I walked Eito back to his room... They just set him up in the pod room that nobody knew the true purpose of—knowing Eito though, he’d probably be able to glean something from it. I wouldn’t be surprised if he already pieced together something close to the truth, based on whatever “secrets” his future self told him... Well, knowing him, he wouldn’t tell his current self anything that would screw me over, or make things more difficult—at least I didn’t have to worry about that. I just wish he could’ve taken Shion’s advice to just “be happy for yourself” instead of being so dang jealous... I guess for someone like Eito, old habits would die hard.

“Thank you for walking me back, Takumi—does that mean our study session in the library was really a ‘date’? Haha...”

“If you want to think of it that way—sure.” We stopped in front of his door. “It’s not like I planned anything special, so... If you want to go on an actual ‘date’ next time, I’ll try my best.” I pretty much said that just to see his reaction... “Our options’ll be pretty limited, though...”

That was... not the reaction I was expecting. He almost looked like when he was on the verge of an “attack” like the first time around, when he told us all he had a weak constitution... “I see... Well, then I suppose I’ll have to put in the effort next time, too...”

“Are you okay? You don’t have to...”

“Haha...” He still looked even more pale than usual, laughing nervously. “It just hit me today that declaring I was going to ‘make sure you fall in love with me’ isn’t a catalyst in itself... I have to actually do something about it, all the time... Haha, it’s not just a ‘points’ system where I can just hit the threshold once and move on, I’m sure it’s going to take concentrated effort every day...” Um... yeah? That’s how relationships work... oh. It just hit me, too...

Logically, I’m sure Eito knows that friendships and relationships take a lot of work, and continued effort on both sides—but he didn’t really internalize it until he realized that he’d actually have to, y’know, do it himself—step up and put in the work to be the type of person I’d “fall in love with”... You can’t just declare it as this grand romantic gesture and rely on this “love conquers all” attitude to carry you through for everything else, like a fairy tale. It just hit him that he was woefully unequipped for this type of thing, and had no idea what he was doing...

“... pft.” My forehead dropped in his collarbone. “Geez—you really didn’t think it through before making that big speech in front of everyone, did you?”

“Aha... I hate to admit it, but I suppose I didn’t...” Awkwardly and hesitantly, he pat my back... I wrapped my arms around him, and that finally made him relax, rubbing up and down my back with both hands. I noticed he hadn’t gone back to wearing his black gloves for a minute.

“... But you meant what you said, right?”

“I did—” He answered quickly. “Well—I realize now that that was a little one-sided of me, wasn’t it... Haha...”

“Geez...”

This guy was so awkward... The first time around, he made the cheesiest “heart of the cards” encouraging speeches without a shred of embarrassment... but now that he had to actually mean it, he was floundering. He was so confident when he was carrying out his “mission”, the spite and delusion really propelled him forward—but when it was just him, and he was trying to feebly reach his hand through the protective curtain around himself, cutting through the “customer service voice”... He was so clumsy, it was really cute...

I moved before my brain caught up—I had to hop up on my toes a little to reach him. He was frozen in surprise for a second, then thankfully followed my rhythm in a gentle, slow kiss... “No jamming your tongue down my throat like a certain someone.” That’s what I was trying to convey, as I just kissed him sweetly a few times...

“—Takumi...” Hoo—it gave me little goosebumps feeling my name whispered breathily against my lips like that... “Can you come inside for a moment?” Um—

‘Ding dong, bing bong!’

“Fwaaahhh... At ease, soldiers. It’s time to hit the hay.”

Nigou toddled up behind me while the nighttime announcement played... I honestly forgot he was even there. “It’s time to turn in for the night, Mr. Sumino!” He beamed. “Say ‘goodnight’ to Mr. Aotsuki, and we’ll lock up the room!”

I turned back to Eito with my own clumsy expression. “Well... I guess we’ll have to call it here.”

“Hmm... the options are limited in this school, this is true...” He seemed lost in thought. “Allow me to think on it some more, Takumi. I can’t have you doing all the work...” He was speaking so formally... Well, whatever—if that helped him be less embarrassed planning our “date” and having his invitation be completely brickwalled by Nigou, then that was fine.

“Sure thing... I’ll look forward to it.”

He got a somewhat shy smile. “Then, until next time, Takumi.” It looked like he debated going for another kiss, but swerved at the last second. He gave me a really tight hug, leaning down a little so he wasn’t towering so much over me. Not that I minded... I’ve already accepted that I’m short, not much I can do about that... “Good night...”

“Good night.” I snuck a quick kiss on his cheek, right by his ear.

“Ah—” Heh—that was for getting me yesterday. After he already knew everybody was watching, to boot...

“Hey… I’m really glad your future self told you that.” I moved his hair back over his ear. “I hope you can start looking at yourself differently from now on.”

He had an unreadable look. Well—those were his feelings to quietly contemplate for himself, now. I just hoped he learned to look at himself with more love and kindness. That wasn’t an outrageous ask, right?

百

“Oh, shoot.” I stopped short in the hallway. “Nigou, do you mind if I make a stop in the library before going up to my room?”

“The library?” Nigou touched his lips. “Well—I suppose that’s fine. I’ll walk with you, old boy.”

“Thanks—I appreciate it.” I can’t believe I forgot—

百

I knocked on the pod room door, even though I was the one who had to unlock it again... “Eito? Can you come to the door for a second?” I waited.

I heard some movement inside. “Oh, my... Takumi, aren’t you going to get yourself in trouble with our ‘overlords’? Haha...” I heard him right on the other side of the door as I unlocked it.

“I just wanted to bring you something for next time...” The second the door was open, his arms were around me.

“Mmm...” He practically rubbed his cheek on me like a cat—gah, it tickles—“... Oh. Nigou’s still here, I see...”

“Indeed!” Nigou beamed brightly. “Mr. Sumino asked if he could fetch a book for you from the library, and I saw no harm in it!”

“... I see.” Eito practically deflated. Geez—did he really think I was coming back to sneak into his room?! That was pretty bold of him, considering how shy he was before I left... Oh, I just realized he wasn’t wearing his oversized jacket, he just had on a plain white t-shirt—I can’t ever remember seeing him before without some giant jacket or sweater of some kind. Maybe it almost felt like a security blanket for him, like a way to keep us all separated from him... although I might be overthinking it. Maybe he was just cold all the time—his hands were usually kinda cold, I noticed.

“Sorry to get your hopes up...” I produced the books from the inner pocket of my jacket. “I just realized I went around with gifts for everyone today, but forgot to give you yours...”

“Gifts?” His thin eyebrows went up. “Haha... How kind of you, Takumi. What a good leader you are...” It was hard to tell when he was being sarcastic... I decided to just give him the benefit of the doubt that it was hard to turn off that deeply-ingrained disingenuous tone.

“Yeah... And once the others start trusting you more, I want you to be able to spend time with them too, and not just me all the time...”

“Aha...” He laughed in that off-kilter way. “That’s a tall order, Takumi... But I’ll try my best, if it’ll make you happy.” Geez...

“It will.” I handed the book to him. “Anyway—I made sure to grab another edition for myself, so we can read along at the same time... I’ve never actually read this one, even though it’s so famous... I thought it might be fun to talk it about with you as I’m reading.”

Eito eyed the book in my hands. “No Longer Human? Aha...” He pushed up his glasses. “I’m sure you already know that Osamu Dazai isn’t exactly ‘light reading’ like Kokoro, Takumi...”

“I know—that’s why I thought it’d be interesting.”

“‘Interesting’ is certainly one way to put it. Haha...” [A/N: I’ve never read very far into Osamu Dazai’s works either, mostly because he’s one of those you have to be in the right mindset for lol. So I thought it’d be fun to read along with Takumi and get a more genuine first reaction ;)]

“I can pick out something else, if you—”

“No—it’s fine, Takumi.” He smiled brightly. “You chose this book because you wanted to read it with me and hear my thoughts. Right?” He ran his fingers along the book’s spine. “I’m interested to hear your thoughts, as well...” Uh oh... no pressure, right? “Oh, but... Let’s finish Kokoro first. That’s only fair, isn’t it?” His smile became more gentle. “If you don’t mind... I was enjoying reading it out loud with you.”

“... That’s fine by me.” Hrrmmm... why did it feel way more embarrassing now that he was out of the cage? “—I had an idea. Just for tomorrow...” I licked my lips. Here goes nothing... “Not a lot of people actually use the pool, so... Do you want to go swimming with me, then we can relax and read in the lounge chairs afterwards?”

For a split second, he looked like a deer in the headlights. He clutched the book to his stomach. “What a lovely idea... Aha, I’m not the strongest swimmer, I confess—but it does sound like a nice change of pace after being locked up in that cage for so long, haha...”

“Good—then it’s a date.” I answered more quickly than I would have liked...

He smiled super shyly. “Yes... I’ll be looking forward to it.” Wah—

“Sniff...” I turned around, and Nigou was wiping his tears a few feet behind us—I honestly forget he was there, again. “Oh... I can see how sincere you youngsters are...” Then he composed himself rather quickly. “Leave it to me, old boy—I’ll see if I can convince the Honorable Sirei to be more lax with your supervision!” His smile sparkled. “At least as far as your husbandry is concerned, Mr. Sumino!” What?! Oh God—I forgot “husbandry” is a term for like, raising animals—wait, that was worse!

My palm was pressed firmly over my eyes. “Thanks, Nigou... I appreciate that.” Eito was too embarrassed to even laugh awkwardly...

百

As I opened the door leading to the rooftop, I couldn’t help but gaze up at the stars. I hope I’ll be able to contact him—I still had one present to give out, probably the most important one...

Oh—he was already waiting in front of my door, floating amidst twisting flame while looking up at the night sky.

“Shion—I’m glad you’re here.” I smiled a bit sheepishly. “Sorry—I hope you weren’t waiting long.”

His flames flickered as he turned my way. “Oh, no, not at all.” He smiled gently. “Ah—Takumi, I wanted to show you something.” His avatar touched down on the stoop of the prefab hut, and it almost looked like his feet touched the ground. “I’ve been practicing ‘walking’ like this... Just so I don’t stand out as much.” He smiled shyly. “I hope it’s convincing...”

“Looks good to me!” I started up the steps to my door. Instead of floating away, he took a step back to make room, although he watched his “feet” as he did so. He manifested himself wearing plain black loafers to match his oldschool gakuran. His image of a “student” was a bit old-fashioned—that was probably due to Sirei’s influence. But, it was very Shion. “Please—come in.” I ushered him inside as I held the door open.

“... Thank you.” He walked evenly through the door. “Haha... I hope that I’m not moving my arms too much.”

I closed the door behind me. “You do still look a little stiff, since you asked—but that’ll go away with confidence.”

“Haha... I hope so.”

I smiled warmly. “You’ll do fine. Just relax and be yourself—I’m sure the others will be so excited to meet you, they won’t even notice if you are a little nervous.”

Shion smiled up at me shyly. When he was on the ground, he was actually a little shorter than me. “I hope so... Would you mind helping me practice my handshake a little more?”

“Sure.” I extended my hand. “‘I’m Takumi—nice to meet you.’”

His transparent hand felt pleasantly warm as he shook mine. “‘I’m Shion... It’s nice to meet you.’” His mismatched eyes were shining, his flames flickering like a comforting bonfire.

百

百

百

This chapter was really cozy to write, I just love hanging out in this world ♡ I’m sure you guys know what I mean haha. I just really like the quiet character moments, what I call the “walking around talking to everyone” parts when you enter a new town or chapter in a JRPG lol

Also for the Yugamu fans out there, I hope I did right by him, giving him and Takumi some closure to start fresh :3 Ugh they do have such good chemistry though—every time I write a scene with them I’m tempted to just start a new Yugamu/Takumi fic to get it out of my system X’D (I revealed this in the comments, but... Yugamu’s actually my favorite character 🙈 Don’t tell Eito I said that X’D)

And yeah, the chapter title was taken from the cheesy-ass ABBA song, that’s what Yugamu was singing X’D And I can only assume Sirei’s “lizard on a chair” line was supposed to reference the uber-cheese Bon Jovi ballad “Livin’ on a Prayer” lol. This is so dumb and only funny to me—I’ve mentioned Yu-Gi-Oh! a few times, but I was never actually a big fan of the original show—but I’m obsessed with Yu-Gi-Oh The Abridged Series by LittleKuriboh lol, like I quote it regularly (even if some parts of it have aged better than others lol). LK was doing a less-scripted review/watch-along of the so-bad-it’s-good sequel series GX, and in one episode about a tag-team duel or smth, he sang out (as Chazz Princeton/Manjoume), “If you change your mind~ Chazz is first in line~ Crowler, I’m still free~ Chazz it up with me~” and it’s just stuck with me lol

It’s just funny how motivation works sometimes—you could not pay me to go back to school and write a book report, but I’m giddy at the idea of reading this dark-ass book and taking notes so I can try to figure out how two characters would react to it for my gay fanfic XD Sweet Shion have mercy lol

Thanks for reading, see you next time~

Chapter Text

Chapter 8 – Reason for Being

Sirei looked pleased as punch, holding his rosy cheeks with glee. “You have something for me, Sumino?”

“Yeah—I didn’t want to leave our commanding officer out of my gift-giving spree.” I took the photo album out from behind my back. “Here—I’m sure you’ll treasure this.”

“What’s this... a photo album?” He took the book in his little round hands. “Huh... What kind of photos are these, exactly? Ah—I know, Sumino!” He winked up at me. “You went out and took glamour shots of the vile invader corpses littering the razed cityscape, paving the way for humanity’s future! Fwahaha—you really shouldn’t have!” He opened the album. “...!” His avatar was frozen in shock.

I circled around him, taking a knee so I was at his level. “I’m sure you know who this is... the baby you’ve been watching grow up all this time.”

“Wah—where did you get this?!” His avatar was pouring sweat.

“Off the War Room computer’s memory banks... You took these yourself, right? Whenever you went to visit him in his pod...” I gingerly flipped the page, showing another close-up shot of Shion’s small, frail body floating in the protective fluid. “You say that his purpose here is to be ‘used as a weapon’... but in your heart, you were sincerely wishing for this baby to be able to grow up, and live a long, healthy life.”

Sirei snapped the album closed. “Why would you show this to me, soldier?”

“Because it’s important...” I delicately opened the album again, and Sirei didn’t protest. He gazed down at the photos with his beady black eyes. “I know this was your sincere wish, even though it goes against your directives... So, please. Let him get to feel what it’s like to have friends, to live a normal school life—to fight alongside comrades who want to protect him, and who he wants to protect... Let him feel what that’s like, with what little time he has.”

Sirei wiped a single tear that fell from his eye. “Sumino...” He was quiet. “... WAAAAHHH!!” He pressed the album to his face, tears flying out in every direction around it. “How could you do this to me?! Agh—what an under-handed tactic!! How am I supposed to trust humanity’s future to a soldier who fights so dishonorably?!”

I snickered. “Sorry, Sirei—but to be fair, you defied your own programming to treat him as a ‘weapon’ when you took these photos...”

“Wah-hah-hah-hah!” His tears kept flying out without end... For some reason, I felt compelled to pat Sirei on the back...

Eventually, he calmed down, wiping his tears with his stubby little hand. “Are you feeling better now, Sirei?”

He closed the photo album, tucking it under his arm. “Sumino... What exactly is it you’re asking of me?” He closed his eyes, trying to regain some semblance of composure. “State your intentions clearly, soldier!”

I smiled. “I’d like your approval for the person we’re all trying to protect to join our team—as one of us. Not as a weapon—but as an ally, and a friend.”

He tapped his cane to the ground. “Very well. You have your commanding officer’s approval.” He said it as if he needed any convincing at all...

I breathed a huge sigh of relief. “Thanks, Sirei—I know that’ll make him happy.”

“Hrmph...” Sirei huffed, trying to hide his obvious feelings...

A purple swirl of flame appeared in the War Room. “Thank you, Sirei.” Shion smiled gently from within the flames. “This is all I ever wanted... to be together with everyone.” He pressed a hand to his heart. “I want to know what it feels like to live, so I can die with no regrets.” My heart wrenched hearing that—“To use my power to protect them... That’s my sincerest wish.”

Sirei was still puffing out his cheeks like a chipmunk, trying and failing to contain his emotions. “Well—just keep in mind that you still have a job to do, soldier!” He shook his tiny fist. “Don’t go wasting your power making avatars left and right—keep it in moderation!”

Shion laughed softly. “Of course...” In that moment, it almost felt like Shion was my little brother, and we were keeping a secret from our hardass parent... “I’m just glad that you agreed to our conditions so amicably—I would’ve hated to have to resort to threatening to burn myself alive in my pod, haha...”

Sirei gasped. “Shion—don’t even joke about something like that! My poor old heart can’t take it!” He wiped his brow with a small hanky. “Oop—” His little hand flew to his mouth—but it was too late.

Shion’s gentle smile was radiant. “You called me by my name... So it was you who named me ‘Shion’.”

“Aw...” Sirei huffed again, crossing his arms. “Well—what else am I supposed to call you?! ‘Undying Flames Boy’? It’s too long!”

Shion chuckled. “That is quite a mouthful...”

I finally stood up. “What is the significance of the name ‘Shion’, Sirei?”

“Hrmph!” He turned away from us. “If you’re so curious—look it up in the library!” He booked it, scurrying away like a little gremlin, leaving behind a not-insignificant puddle of tears on the War Room floor...

“Haha...” Shion laughed lightly, his eyes closed to crescents as he smiled. “Well, I’m just glad that your negotiations were a success—thank you, Takumi. Truly...”

I rubbed the back of my hair. “Well—don’t thank me, it was Nigou who ratted out Sirei for taking those photos in the first place...”

“Eep!” I heard another squeaky voice, and a stubby pair of legs quickly shuffling out of the War Room...

Shion and I looked at each other, and shared a knowing laugh.

百

“Do you think you’ll feel ready by tomorrow?”

Shion’s eyes widened just a bit. “Ah—I suppose so.” Then he smiled shyly. “To be truthful, I’m still a little nervous... I just don’t want to disappoint anyone.”

“Disappoint them?” I felt my eyebrows go up. “No way—how could you? You’re made of Undying Flames—they’ll be amazed to see you, no matter what!”

“Haha... I suppose you’re right.”

Shion was walking with me down the stairs to the cafeteria so he could get some more practice in keeping his feet on the ground. The stairs were a little tricky for him—but he was getting the hang of it quickly, all things considered.

“You’re getting better with the stairs—I’m sure you’ll be walking like it’s second nature in no time.”

“Hm-hm...” He laughed lightly. “It’s easier when I’m walking next to you, Takumi, since I can use your height as a benchmark...”

“I see...” Haah... I’ve already accepted that I’m short, nothing I can do about that...

Shion looked around once we got to the first floor hallway. “I wonder if Sirei will even be joining us when I meet everyone... I’ve never seen him acting so shy...” He laughed lightly. “He didn’t have any reservations ranting to me about his problems with work when he was drunk all those years ago...”

“Oh, yeah... That did stand out to me when you told me the first time.” We stopped a few feet away from the cafeteria doors. “I tried to bribe Sirei with wine in my timeline too, and he said he couldn’t break his sobriety—so, is there a real ‘Mr. Sirei’ that his AI avatar is based on?”

“Yes—he’s the one who looked after me while I was being monitored on the Artificial Satellite.” He smiled gently. “I’m sure one of the other ‘mes’ told you this as well, but I should be around the same age as all of you by now. Although the passage of time has never been of much relevance to me... But my pod was installed in the Defense Room shortly before all of you joined the school, as well.”

“I see—so, do you think ‘Sirei’ is just an independent AI, or he’s being controlled by the real Mr. Sirei somewhere?”

“Hmm... It’s hard to say.” Shion rubbed his chin, and his flames flickered. “I’m sure whatever Sirei sees here is being sent back to Mr. Sirei—though whether he ever seizes direct control, I don’t know. It is difficult to get a signal all the way here from the Artificial Satellite—but not impossible.”

“I see...” Haah... Well, if Sirei is going to hinder our plans to bring peace to the planet, we’ll have to destroy him no matter what... But would the real Mr. Sirei actually come down himself, if it comes to that? He never did in my previous two timelines...

An unpleasant shudder radiated through my whole body, like a bucket of ice water just got dumped on me. “Ugh...”

“What is it, Takumi? Are you all right?”

“Yeah... I just got cold all the sudden, haha...” What the heck was that? It was like my body reacted when I thought about the other timelines... Wait.

I realized I was covering my mouth with my hand. I just thought it was a bad dream, but... When we were riding the bus back from Second-to-Last Academy, I swore that I heard Eito mocking me about “how many times he’d stabbed me in the back after I showed him mercy”, saying that my pacifistic approach will never work out... That might’ve actually been the first time “that” Eito was able to act up, since my hemoanima started surging after the battle with Parmith. He said the same thing when he was trying to torment me from the couch, “How could you forget all those times we shared? I understand you, because I am you...”

“... Takumi?”

“—sorry, it’s fine.” I gave Shion a smile. All that was neither here nor there—I had something much more important to focus on. How I was going to break the news to the others tomorrow. I had to ready my heart just as much as Shion...

I’d resolved myself to tell everyone about Futurum and Earth, after introducing Shion to all of them—I felt that I had to explain myself before the next Commander shows up. I also need to hear what this “new consensus” is from the Will of Humanity—that alone will determine Sirei’s fate. And poor Nigou’s, too... he’s as much bound by his programming as Sirei, so there wouldn’t be much point in keeping just him around... Even though he was more kind-hearted and lax, I couldn’t see him going along with my plan to save the Futurans, if it went against humanity’s best interest.

Hmm... I still had to consider what the Artificial Satellite might do. If I can help it, I still want to save all the innocent people living in the real Tokyo Residential Complex. Those people weren’t responsible for starting this war—they were just civilians. The people who did this to us were just a small, clandestine group—we could all decide together how we wanted to “deal with” them, for playing around with our lives—but the other innocent humans didn’t deserve to get dragged down with them. If possible—I want to put an end to this war, and find a solution so that both races can survive and flourish on the planet—but I know I’m being wildly idealistic even considering that possibility. But, we have a leg up that the first wave of contacts that touched down from the satellite didn’t have—we can communicate.

I smiled at Shion. “Tomorrow—I’ll get everyone warmed up first, then I’ll call for you. Do you want to walk through the doors, rather than appearing like you usually do?”

“Oh—that’s a wonderful idea.” Shion smiled gently. “Haha... Perhaps you could introduce me as a ‘new transfer student’.”

“That’d be cute—let’s do it that way, then.” That’s what “Mr. Sirei” did, in that weird hallucination made by Turamtammi... “All right—I can help you more tonight if you want to get in more practice walking, and manifesting your flames.”

“I’d like that—thank you, Takumi. Truly...” His smile said it all.

“You’re welcome.” I put my hand on his back—it was warm, like touching a log in a campfire without getting burned. “I’m helping you because I want to—it was your wish to be friends with everyone the second time around, so that’s just what I’m going to do.”

“Haha...” His eyes were closed. “I’m sure you made that ‘other me’ very happy.” Ugh—I couldn’t cry before going into the cafeteria.

“Then it’s a plan—I’ll see you tonight, Shion.” I placed my hand on the door, to distract myself, if nothing else. “Oh—it might help you be less nervous to quietly observe everyone in their natural element? That way they won’t seem like strangers.”

“Oh, um... Well...” His mismatched eyes went to the side. “For some reason, that makes me feel a bit...”

I smiled. “I get it—you don’t want to spy on your friends like a ghost—you’d rather just get to know them in person.”

“Haha... Yes, exactly.” His smile returned. “I’m glad you understand, Takumi.”

“Of course—I’ll see you later, then. Maybe you should just rest up today so you have enough energy for your avatar tomorrow.”

“That’s a wise idea—then I’ll see you after the nighttime announcement, Takumi.” He smiled brightly. “Um... ‘See ya later.’”

“Later.”

With a shy wave, he disappeared. How cute... Even though he was the same age as us, Shion had a gentle way of speaking that was wise beyond his years—it somehow gave him a “How do you do, fellow kids?” impression when he was being casual. But I’m sure the others would eat that up, too...

With a silly smile of my own, I pushed opened the cafeteria doors—

“How come we gotta eat with this guy, huh?!” Gaku was practically spitting across the table. “Why don’t you just get a tray of food slid under the door like a good prisoner?!”

Eito’s gentle smile made Gaku go completely pale. “Aha... Are you going against our Leader’s decision to take responsibility for me? Are you questioning Takumi’s judgment, or his competency as our team’s captain?” Yeesh—I was surprised Gaku was still standing. “Ahaha... I’ll have you know, I won’t tolerate that kind of slander towards—” Suddenly his head whipped towards the door. “Oh, Takumi!” He smiled brightly. “Good morning! It’s so lovely to see you so bright and early... Though, I would have greatly preferred if you were the one to escort me from my dreary room, rather than this horrible little goblin...”

“Who’re you callin’ a goblin?!” Gaku was in tears...

“‘Our team’, my ass...” Takemaru was grumbling to himself, packing away more bacon strips. “The jury’s still out on whether your skinny ass can fight—one Pretty Boy around here’s enough, if you’re dead weight, then you’re off the team!!”

“... ‘Pretty Boy’? Ehehe... Oh, my.” Yugamu’s eye became a crescent, gazing at Takemaru from across the table, his chin in his hands coyly. “Could you be referring to me? It’s me, isn’t it?”

“Gh—that wasn’t a compliment!” Takemaru took a huge swig of his orange juice.

“Eheh... Well, he didn’t deny it.” Ugh—it was too early for these shenanigans... I’d really have my work cut out for me tomorrow, if this is how they’re going to be every morning...

The only open seat was right next to Eito at the very end of the table... I was very aware that he was watching my every movement as I sat down. “It’s truly healing to see you at the start of my day like this, Takumi...”

“I’m sure it is.” I grabbed myself some fluffy rice from the clay pot on the table, and took a plate of grilled mackerel with some sesame sauteed spinach on the side. It smelled really good... “Can you pass me a bowl of miso soup?”

“Of course.” Eito reached his long arm across the table, carefully ladling some out and setting the bowl in front of me. “Haha... This feels quite domestic, doesn’t it, Takumi?” Ugh—I thought for sure he was going to be a smartass and call me “dear” or something there... Anything but “darling”—

“Ugh...” An unpleasant shiver went all the way through me.

“Oh, dear—are you cold?” Gah—he just said “oh, dear” like an old lady all the time anyway, it wasn’t like that...

“I’m fine.” I broke off a big chunk of mackerel with my chopsticks, setting it on top of my rice and drizzling soy sauce over it.

Takemaru had the bad habit of talking with his mouth full... “Hey—what’s with your plate?” He nodded to Eito’s simple breakfast of rice with two rolled eggs, and a large tofu cube covered with pickled veggies and sauce. “How are you supposed to get stronger with that? Put some meat on your plate, man!”

“Oh, I’m quite all right.” Eito quietly pressed his palms together, then picked up his chopsticks. Oh—was he waiting for me to get here to eat? “I’ve survived this long without eating meat, after all! Haha...” That’s right—the Eito from my other timelines was a vegetarian, too.

“No meat?! Ever?!” Moko looked downright scandalized. “Not even as a treat?!”

“Haha, no, I wouldn’t consider that much of a ‘treat’—oh, and I don’t eat fish or fowl, either.”

“What the hell ya mean?!” Takemaru roared, slapping his own thighs to stop himself from hitting the table. “You’re almost as tall as me—ya need some meat if you want to grow up healthy and strong!!” Was he actually mad, or was he trying to give sincere advice?

“I’m quite capable of supplementing my diet properly, not that it’s of any concern of yours.”

“Tch—”

“Oh!” Eito turned to me. “But it’s all right that you eat meat and fish, Takumi—it doesn’t bother me!” He smiled brightly. “It’s just a personal conviction of mine—it’d be quite hypocritical of me to condemn mankind for their treatment of the Earth and all the creatures inhabiting it if I contributed to the savagery of factory farming! Hahaha...”

“That’s why you don’t eat meat?” Takemaru looked genuinely shocked to his core. “You don’t have a problem killin’ off all mankind, but the animals are a step too far...”

“U-um!” Shouma raised his hand like he was in class, his head deeply bowed. “If you’ll forgive a lowly worm like me for stinking up the table with my putrid breath... I can understand what Eito’s saying!” His eyes were scrunched closed, shielding himself from an attack that wasn’t coming... “I-I’ve always wanted to stop eating meat, too! I feel bad for all the animals... but my parents go through all the trouble to cook balanced meals for a human garbage disposal like me, so I just kept it to myself...”

Eito beamed. “You’re such a kind soul, Shouma. Now that you’re here, you can start making those decisions for yourself—but everything in life is about balance!” He picked up one of his rolled omelets. “I’m sure there are some out there who practice a vegan lifestyle who would criticize me for continuing to eat eggs—but the truth is, I became quite sick when I quit eating animal products altogether cold turkey, if you’ll pardon the expression.” He sighed, placing a hand over his heart. “To continue adhering to a diet that was only making me weaker and malnourished would be disrespecting my own life—that’s why I started incorporating things like eggs back into my diet.” He stared at his plate, his chopsticks still in hand. “Although, I can’t be sure where these eggs came from, and what conditions the chickens who laid them were living in...” His eyes closed. “But—they’re already here, so it would be a waste for me to not eat them. Haha—I can’t allow myself to get weaker and be kicked off the team, after all!” He winked at me.

... It sounded like he actually meant all that. I couldn’t help but wonder if being a vegetarian was implanted in him in the pod, too—or was it just his own decision, the logical progression in his hatred for humanity? It all circled back to Yugamu’s philosophical question of what was “stimulus” and what was “reaction”... Gah, I was just going to give myself a headache going back and forth about it... I just want to eat.

I eyed the chunk of grilled mackerel adorning my rice... Sorry that I’m eating your flesh so I can survive, little fishy—but I’ll honor your sacrifice by doing my best so that everyone on this planet can survive.

Tsubasa was still eyeing Eito from the other end of the table. “I still don’t understand how you think it’s okay to kill people, but not animals...” She covered her mouth, but thankfully it looked like the nauseous thought passed quickly.

I poured myself some tea from the kettle on the table. “Have you ever heard of ‘environmental terrorists’, Tsubasa?” Her eyes widened just a bit. “It’s a similar principal—radical groups of people who feel that humans are evil for destroying the environment. On Earth, they went around blowing up dams and chemical plants, or shooting the CEOs who privately owned reservoirs to sell bottled water at a profit, when the nation was going through a drought... I’m not saying I agree with it, but I can almost understand the logic.”

Eito was smiling down at me gently. “Hearing that, Takumi—I don’t care if I’m misunderstood by every other human alive.” Ugh... he didn’t need to say stuff like that in front of everyone...

Tsubasa’s eyes went to the side. “I guess I can sort of understand that, a little... even if I don’t agree with it.”

Yugamu was grinning at Eito from across the table. “I can understand the principle behind your convictions—I myself land at the opposite end of the spectrum.” He fanned out his nails, as if he was presenting in a lecture. “I believe life is precious, so every part of the animal should be used—even the gizzards, and the innards that even a butcher shop would throw away. The ‘lips and assholes’, you might say.”

“Hrk—!” Poor Tsubasa reached her limit.

“Ehehe—there’s nothing gross about it. It’s just a matter of showing respect for the life that was lost by putting every inch of it to good use.” Ugh—why was the word “inch” ruined for me forever...

Takemaru shoved more sausage in his mouth. “‘Nose to tail’, huh?” He chewed with his mouth open... “Guess I can get hip with that...”

“Hehe... So you understand.” It almost seemed like they were getting along now, oddly enough...

“You people...” Gaku had his elbows on the table, cradling his head in his hands. “An assassin who thinks life is precious?! Are you kidding me?! How can you understand that—how’s that any different from this crazy murderer not eating meat?!”

“It is exactly because he takes the lives of others that Sir Yugamu understands that life is precious.” Kyoshika was dabbing her napkin on the Holy Jumoji Sword—uh, she wasn’t feeding it just now, was she? “When you are older, Sir Gaku—you may one day understand.”

“Argh—we’re the same age!”

Yugamu was eyeing Eito with a mischievous grin. “I’d be curious how exactly you ‘supplement’ your vegetarian diet, Eito... Do you not consider nutritional yeast and the like to also be alive?”

Eito sipped his tea from an earthenware cup. “If that question was being asked in good faith, I might be inclined to answer it.” Well... he kind of had him there, Yugamu sounded like he was just asking as a “gotcha” to be a dick...

“Ehehe... I am asking in good faith. So suspicious... I have a good reason for wanting to know.” He turned his grin to me—uh, what does that mean?

“Nyohoho—it’s too bad we don’t have a perverted Ultimate Chef here!” Darumi squeezed a distressing amount of ketchup out onto her omurice... “Buuut, even if we did—he’d probably just get executed first, anyway!”

Hiruko pushed up her glasses. “Who said you could eat at the table like people, doggie?”

“Arf!” Darumi grabbed her plate, diving under the table—

“Wah!”

“Darumi?!”

“Wait—you’re not seriously going to make her eat off the floor, are you?!”

Hiruko snickered to herself. “Come back up, doggie—I’ll make an exception just this once.”

“Arf!” Darumi popped back up, the ketchup from her omurice splattered all around her mouth... She really did start eating it off the floor like a dog...

“Haah... Now you’ve done it. Your food is all over your face...” Hiruko got out a handkerchief, wiping the sides of Darumi’s mouth...

“Bow woooowww...” Darumi looked like she was in pure ecstasy—why am I watching this?!

I diverted my eyes quickly, focusing on my simple, non-messy breakfast.

I was aware that Eito was beaming down at me. “It’s so nice to be able to eat breakfast with you like this, Takumi... The others were so cold to me before you arrived.” He was gazing at me with that lovelorn look... “Just seeing you walk through that door put my heart at ease... If only the first thing I could see every morning when I wake up is your face...”

A cold wind blew through the cafeteria.

“... Oh! Oh, dear—I didn’t mean it like that! Aha... Although... someday, perhaps...”

I pressed my palms into my eyes. If that version of me on the second day could see that this is how it would turn out—I wonder, would he have still spared Eito’s life?

百

“I’m sorry, Takumi—it really wasn’t my intention to embarrass you this morning.” Eito’s eyebrows were sloped so low, they were behind his glasses. “I was just saying what was on my mind... Is that so wrong?”

“Haah... It’s not that it’s ‘wrong’—but there’s just a time and place.” I walked along with him down the first floor corridor. “It’s not like...” Maybe this was a bad idea to encourage him, but... “—if the mood is right... Something like that, I wouldn’t mind if you said it to me in private...” I hid half my face behind my hand in embarrassment. “Just keep it to yourself when it’s in front of everyone...”

Eito gently grabbed my shoulders, stopping us in the hallway and circling around so he was in front of me. “Takumi... If the first thing I beheld every morning was your sleeping face, I’d have the strength to go on and endure the unendurable, and suffer the insufferable...” Wah—what was with that, was that the morning announcement?! And wait—“beheld”?!

“... Have you been reading poetry books from the library?”

“Gh—” Eito practically recoiled off me. “Well... No moreso than usual...” Haah...

“Geez...” I snickered. He was almost slick just now, but he crumbled with the smallest pushback... “Do you like poetry, then? Is that what you were writing?” I realized after he asked me yesterday, “Who am I, Takumi?”... I really don’t know, I only ever knew Eito on a surface level, even at the end...

I saw him take a steadying breath with his eyes closed, then a mellow smile returned to his face. “Well—I really write whatever comes to mind. It helps me to sort out my thoughts... It’s much easier to express myself on the page than it is talking to others face-to-face.” He had his eyes closed, pressing his hand over his heart. “But, to answer your question—I prefer the straightforwardness of prose. Before I realized my true calling to rise through the ranks of the political world, I had wanted to become a novelist, haha...”

“... Do you still want to be a politician?”

“Aha...” His laugh sounded disingenuous. “Well—I told you before that if everything went well, then any ambitions I held like that won’t matter anymore, right?”

... what exactly did that mean? That it was all on me? What—if I fell in love with him and we lived happily ever after, he wouldn’t feel like destroying humanity anymore? What’s with that... how manipulative. What a shitty thing to put on me—why did it feel like I was the inventor’s daughter being trapped against her will in an enchanted castle?

“You’re the master of your own destiny, you know.” I gave him a hard stare. “Don’t blame others for your actions, or for your decisions. If you want to change, change yourself—don’t put the impetus on someone else, and blame them if it doesn’t go the way you imagined it.”

“Ah!” His hands flew off me, showing his palms in surrender. “Takumi—I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you—”

“You said that last time—you’re not actually ‘sorry’, you meant what you said—you just want to smooth things over by apologizing afterwards, but still get away with blurting out whatever you want.” I pushed past him. “Maybe you should cool down in your room for a bit—think about the implications of what you just said to me, then decide if that’s the kind of person you want to be.”

“Ah—”

I heard Nigou’s little legs shuffling as I stormed towards the staircase. “Come along now, Mr. Aotsuki—I’ll escort you to your room! I’ll make sure to bring you your next meal if you’ll be staying in through lunch...”

I took the stairs two at a time, refusing to look back—I didn’t want to see the look on his face. It was probably just a manipulative sad puppy look, anyway—what a bunch of bullshit. He probably hated humanity now more than ever, with whatever “secret” his future self revealed—how could he do that to me? Telling the present Eito something like that...

Agh—I felt a pang of pain my heart, and I clutched my chest... what was that? It was like I felt intensely guilty all of a sudden... just like before, when I was questioning whether what Eito felt was really “love” or just “obsession”—it was like the Eito from my timeline got upset and was saying, “That’s not true, Takumi! I would never do anything to hurt you like that!”

“Ugh...” I ground the side of my fist into my chest, taking up the stairs quickly.

百

The blue sky stretched on endlessly, a listless cloud that vaguely resembled a crocodile with its mouth open drifting from east to west. The crocodile’s lower jaw started melting...

My eyes started to hurt from the brightness of such an idyllic morning, so I draped my arm over my eyes... Freaking Eito... he might not have the most “social awareness”, but he wasn’t stupid—there’s no way he said something like that subconsciously without realizing the implications. Haah... All I promised was that I’d “try to understand him”, no one said anything about getting in a relationship... those were all... just my feelings...

“Ugh...” I pressed my arm down over my eyes. That’s probably why I got so mad... I realized that I did want to get closer to Eito—just for myself, not out of obligation or because of my promise. Actually taking the time to try to understand him had drawn me into him... that’s why I really didn’t like it when he implied I was “supposed to” be in a relationship with him, like I was the only thing keeping him from flipping out and going crazy—it sounded like—

My blood ran cold—an unpleasant shiver went all the way down my body. It sounded like... what the terrifying “darling” Eito from my dream said. “I need you to be here... Without you, I don’t even know what I’d do... I’d probably just go crazy...”

I realized I was clutching myself tightly... I could no longer tell myself it was just a dream. Somewhere out there... there probably was an Eito just like that. And there was probably a Takumi that felt bad for him, and wanted to help him and show him love for the first time in his life—and once he got that Takumi in his clutches, he trapped him there and kept him by his side as an anchor—the only thing keeping him sane, like a lifeline... Not a partner, but just a failsafe. So awful... It made me sick to think about it.

I wonder if those other “timelines” were happening simultaneously, or if it was a glimpse at the past, or the future... The Eito who called me “honey” had a corded phone on the wall... Maybe getting trapped by that prosecutor Eito was my punishment—I treated the vulnerable Eito so badly he turned to drinking, making him so codependent on me he couldn’t leave—then my punishment was to get trapped by an Eito I could never escape from. Or worse... maybe I was trapped by Eito first, and I never wanted to feel that powerless and afraid again—so when I ran into Eito in the next life, I trapped him first and kept him under my heel so—

“Urgh—” I pressed my palms into my eyes, my dark vision getting fuzzy. It was so horrible—I didn’t want to believe either scenario was true. But I couldn’t get that first Eito’s words out of my mind—“You probably got sick of me ruining your ‘good ending’, so you went back and killed me for good.” Was he seriously just fucking with me, or was there some truth to it? “There’s a fine line between ‘love’ and ‘hate’”... Was he trying to show me these other versions of me to help me, in his own backwards way?

“I’m not worried about someone so hopelessly optimistic as you deciding to end it all...” Yugamu smoothly hopped to the platform on the other side of the fence. “—but you should still be careful around the edge, Takumi. If you fell with no one around to scoop up your broken body into the Revive-O-Matic, that’d really be the end...”

I snickered... for some reason, his matter-of-fact tone towards something so dark was oddly comforting. “I’ll be careful... I just wanted an unobstructed view of the sky. While I did some thinking...” I let my eyes close.

I heard the shuffling of his hakama as he sat on the ledge beside me. “Anything you want to run by Uncle Yugamu? I might not look it, but I’m a good listener. Especially during pillow-talk...”

“... I’m still stuck on ‘Uncle Yugamu’...”

“Ehehe... Well, don’t feel obligated to share—I just wanted to make sure you didn’t fall asleep out here in the sun and get heatstroke.”

“Well, thank you for that...”

A slight breeze blew, like a warm summer wind... I wonder what time of year it is on Futurum? We didn’t have such things as “seasons” in the Tokyo Residential Complex... the temperatures were regulated, so the leaves on the trees never even turned orange, like those beautiful landscape photos of the lost “Kyoto” of the real Japan...

“I’ll respect your privacy if you’d prefer to contemplate things on your own. But, if you think it’ll help to talk about it, I’ll listen.”

I pushed my bangs off my forehead, enjoying the feeling of the warm sun hitting my face. Yugamu really was a nice guy... His future self had the maturity to break things off by saying, “It wouldn’t be right for me to hog you all to myself”, but... It was really me hogging him all to myself. I knew we weren’t compatible in the long run... I just wasn’t able to accept his “predilections”, I’m just too vanilla, I knew I’d never be able to keep up with him. But I couldn’t let him go either, because I didn’t want to lose our friendship... So I just kept him in this weird halfway situationship, telling myself it was okay since Yugamu was just down like that, coveting him all to myself... I really was awful. It suddenly didn’t feel so farfetched that I would do the same thing to Eito in another lifetime... I wonder if the “friend” I was cheating on him with was Yugamu. Pft—fate could be pretty strange.

I clasped my hands together on my stomach. It made me feel guilty yesterday when Yugamu said that he’d never felt so accepted... But, maybe now that I’m not trying to covet him for myself, I could really accept him as he was... Friendships and relationships sure are complicated.

“... I’ve heard it said that there’s a fine line between ‘love’ and ‘hate’... Do you think there’s a fine line between ‘love’ and ‘pity’, too?”

Yugamu was quiet for a moment. “I do. Although rather than ‘pity’, I’d use ‘compassion’.” I cracked my eyes open. He had his eye closed, contemplating nothing as he dangled one leg off the ledge, the pleats of his hakama rustling lightly in the wind. “I didn’t have much choice to become an assassin—that was the environment I was raised in, and that is what my family groomed me to do. I only started questioning it when I got older—my heart had always ached when I completed a job, even though I had convinced myself it was all business, just something automatic...” He had a small, bitter smile. “But I finally understood that ache, when I took a job which ended up affecting me greatly. That job, and that client, taught me that there can be mercy in killing. You might even call it ‘compassion’.”

I sat up. “Can you tell me about it?”

He smiled—there was the unspoken understanding between us that I already knew this story—but it would be the first time he was telling me himself. “Well—the contract was to take the life of a person being treated in a highly-secured room of a prestigious hospital. It was surprisingly easy to make my way through a tile in the ceiling—but when I dropped down into the room, I discovered that the target was a little girl, no older than thirteen.” He was gazing off at the ruined city, far beyond the wall of fire. “It turned out that she was also my client—she had reached out to me on her tablet, her only window to the outside world. You see, she had a terminal disease with no hope of recovery, but the symptoms progressed slowly—she was from a wealthy family, and her parents threw money at anything and everything they thought could keep her alive. They refused to accept that she was going to die, and she suffered greatly from her symptoms, just waiting for death to claim her day after day as she lay trapped in that hospital bed... So, she decided to take her fate in her own hands and end her life.” He smiled sideways at me. “It isn’t easy for everyone to take their own life... Even though she knew she was going to die, she was still afraid. That’s why she needed someone like me.”

“I see...” It wasn’t any easier to listen to the second time around...

His eye closed. “She was my client, so I wasn’t going to go back on our contract, but—I did still try to talk to her. I wanted to be sure she was in her right mind, and that her resolve to die was firm—and it was.” He had a small, sad smile. “I asked her if she wanted to extend the date of our contract—if there was anything she wanted to achieve before she died. Finishing a novel, completing a painting... I thought I was being merciful by giving her more time, it only seemed right since she was so young.” He turned that small, bitter smile my way. “Do you know what she said to me, Takumi?”

I couldn’t help but swallow. This was more detail than he had ever given me before... I didn’t even know that he tried to extend the contract. He never told me... “No—what?”

His eye closed. “She looked at me with tears in her eyes, and said there wasn’t anything she wanted to do—she just wanted to die.” The Undying Flames flickered against the ruined buildings in the distance, glinting in the bright sunlight. “She was so tired... She wanted to be free from the pain, the waiting—and she also wanted to punish her parents, who didn’t even see her.” It felt like something dropped in my stomach. “They couldn’t see how much she was suffering—they just selfishly refused to let her go, throwing money at the hospital instead of spending time with her at home while she succumbed to her illness naturally.”

I was staring at my shoe as my foot swung slightly off the ledge... I couldn’t think of anything to say. In another lifetime... I was both the little girl, and the parents.

“So—I took her life. I fulfilled my contract, and left her tablet unlocked, like she requested. I didn’t read the note she left behind for her parents, to respect her privacy—but I’m sure it was filled with nothing but bitterness and anguish.” He was covering his good eye with his hand. “But she thanked me before I took her life... That was probably the only moment of true peace she had ever known.”

Another warm wind blew over the rooftop.

I wrapped up Yugamu in my arms, and he snickered. “So the expert comforter becomes the comforted... Ehehe, how humiliating...” His head rested in my collarbone. “Be careful, Takumi—this kind of humiliation really does it for me...”

“Geez...” I pat his head. “Don’t get used to it—last time Eito wasn’t even around, he escaped and ran away the first chance he got—but this time it really will be cheating.”

“Well, now—I wouldn’t want to be a homewrecker. Hehe...”

I rested my head on top of his, moving my arm so I could rub his back. “I was just being a smartass, anyway... I don’t think there’s anything wrong with comforting a friend like this.” I closed my eyes, enjoying feeling the warmth of another person. “If a certain jealous someone thinks that being close at all to anyone besides him is ‘cheating’, then he’s just going to have to grow up and get over it.”

“Eheh... Is that why you’re up on this ledge all alone? Do I have to pump someone’s neck full of needles?”

“Please, don’t...” My eyes cracked open. It was kind of precarious out here... Maybe I should just go back to my room to think. I might actually get heatstroke if I stay out here with my jacket and black pants on... “It wasn’t really an argument... He just said something that rubbed me the wrong way.” I sighed. “But, knowing that guy—I don’t know if he really meant it that way. It’s hard to say...”

“I see.” Yugamu finally lifted his head, though he scooted just a bit closer while I rubbed his back. Poor Yugamu... He talked a big game, but I knew that he was actually pretty touch-starved, since nobody in our group exactly wanted to get close to his freaky self... haah. I’ll just choose to call it “compassion” in my own mind... “Well, you know that one much better than I do—but I’ll try my best to give impartial advice.”

“I appreciate that...” I pat his back, then relaxed with my palms back on the concrete ledge. What could I even say... “I guess—I want to hear your honest reaction.” I turned my head to look right at him. “‘You’re my reason for living.’” Even Yugamu’s eye went a bit wide. “What would you feel if someone said that to you? Is it romantic? Pathetic? Clingy? Intimidating? Manipulative? Scary?”

Yugamu folded his arms. “Most of those adjectives are rather negative, Takumi... I can assume it didn’t inspire you to come up here and shout your response out from the rooftop?”

“No... And it wasn’t said to me directly, just sort of implied...” I propped my foot up on the edge. I felt a bit bad repeating snippets from a private conversation, but—the least I could do was keep it vague.

“I see... Well—” His eye glinted darkly. “Why can’t it be all those things?”

“... what?”

He shrugged, fanning out his nails. “If someone truly believes you’re their reason for living—then that is romantic, pathetic, clingy, intimidating, manipulative, and scary. Ehehe... It puts a lot of pressure on you to not let them down. They’re essentially saying, ‘If you’re not here, I have no reason to live.’” He rubbed his chin. “I suppose the next question is—are they your reason for living?” He grinned. “The answer can still be all those things—but if it’s a relationship where you’re both completely codependent on one another, at least it’s honest. Hehe...”

I didn’t even know what to say. Being codependent wasn’t something you should aspire to... that was literally the opposite of a healthy relationship.

“I see... Thank you for your insight, Yugamu.” I really hope he doesn’t feel that way about his own relationships... I couldn’t help but notice that even though he opened up to me about that client that affected him so much, he hadn’t brought up his “special person” that he promised to kill, back on the satellite...

百

“Ah, Takumi.” Yugamu stopped in front of the cafeteria doors. “Before we go inside... Let’s stop at the gym. Kyoshika should be finishing up her pre-lunch training routine.” He rubbed his chin. “There’s something I’d like to speak to you about, with her.”

“Oh... sure.” I walked with him back down the hallway. “Um... is it related to our conversation at all?”

“Somewhat—it’s something we were discussing after your group escorted us from Second-to-Last Academy. We were debating when to bring it up to you... But I feel that now is the right time.” He grinned at me.

“Okay...” For some reason, this gave me an ominous feeling... But I decided to trust him.

We pushed open the doors to the gym, and Kyoshika was dabbing the Holy Jumonji Sword with the end of the towel slung around her neck...

“Kyoshika.”

She looked up. “Ah—Sir Yugamu, Sir Takumi! Is it time for lunch already?” She smiled widely. “The Holy Jumonji Sword and I were just cooling down after our exciting bout!” I can’t even imagine what that might look like...

“It’s time for lunch indeed—but before we all go to the cafeteria, I’d like to have a talk between the three of us.” He smiled at me. “Takumi and I were just discussing the value of life, and the concept of mercy and compassion.”

“I see.” Kyoshika’s eyes closed, and she slung her towel out from around her neck. “Sir Takumi—there is a matter of import that Sir Yugamu I wished to discuss with you, before our next defensive battle.”

“I understand—I’ll hear you out.”

They exchanged a look between them, and Kyoshika continued. “Sir Takumi—I heard your final parting words to Parmith, the Paragon of Devotion.” She looked right into my eyes, pressing her hand to her heart. “I understand that you are a man of compassionate spirit. You did not wish to take her life, as you felt it was wrong to do so. However...” She rested her hand on the hilt of the Holy Jumonji Sword. “Parmith was a warrior. When a warrior draws their blade on the battlefield, they accept that a blade will be drawn against them in turn. Every warrior lives and dies by this cold truth.”

“By stepping onto the battlefield, one could argue that a warrior has already accepted their death.” Yugamu fanned out his nails. “Likewise, when I pursue a target, I also accept that they may try to fight back and kill me in return. I never take it personally—it’s their right to fight for their life. I hold them no personal grudge—it’s merely my job.”

“Sir Takumi.” Kyoshika’s hand was firm on her swordhilt. “‘The strongest warriors are those who draw their blades the least’... This is one of the tenets of Meikyo Shisui.” Her eyes opened, dark with firm determination. “But to deny a defeated warrior their death on the battlefield is an affront to their warrior’s spirit. When an opponent begs for death, to spare their life is to condemn them to live in shame.” Her expression softened into an almost sad smile. “I know that was not your intention, Sir Takumi—but that is the reality for one who puts their life on the line on the battlefield.”

I felt so small, with the two of them looking at me like that... “I understand what you’re saying.” I felt my fist clenched at my side, and I willed myself to relax. “I do, but... I still don’t want to be responsible for taking another life. And I can’t be held responsible for whatever they do after I spare them—it’s their decision.” Even if the alternative is them taking their own life to escape the shame... I just don’t want to be responsible for any more death.

Kyoshika and Yugamu looked at each other. “Very well. If that is your resolve, Sir Takumi—then please consider allowing either Sir Yugamu or myself to honorably end the life of our defeated opponents, if there is no other option.” She gripped her blade, standing as if ready to draw. “Unlike the others, Sir Yugamu and I have taken lives before coming here. If it would allow the others among us to remain spotless—we would gladly take on the heavy burden of granting death.”

Yugamu shrugged. “I don’t care for loveless killing, as you know—but, now you understand how taking a life can also be compassionate.” His eye looked right into mine. “Sometimes, there is mercy in killing.”

I closed my eyes, weighing their words carefully in my heart. When they put it that way... it made sense. Even I wasn’t foolishly idealistic enough to think that every Commander would just leave us alone and go about their happy lives—some of them even blew themselves up rather than admit defeat, or allow us to absorb their cryptoglobin. But—that doesn’t mean I won’t still try to reach an understanding.

“Very well—I accept your proposal.” I looked between both of them, so they could see my determination. “I’m still going to make every effort to communicate with the Commanders who approach us—but if their conviction is as strong as ours, and they refuse to yield or see eye-to-eye... Then if there’s no other way, I give my permission for you to grant them a warrior’s death.” It felt like for the first time, I finally understood Dahl’xia’s words...

Kyoshika breathed a sigh of relief, releasing her blade. “I am relieved to hear that, Sir Takumi. Of course—we would have followed your direction as our leader regardless—but I am glad that you understand.”

Yugamu hummed to himself in satisfaction. “I’m glad you understand, too. Granting a warrior their proper death is also compassionate—you don’t need to compromise your principles for that, Takumi.”

“... I guess you’re right. When you put it that way...”

Yugamu pat my back. “Well—that’s all we wanted to say to you. Now let’s go eat.”

“Indeed—let us cast off this pall of doomed gloom, and feast on our bellies in the cafeteria!” Kyoshika laughed loudly.

“Neither of those expressions were quite right, Kyoshika—but you got the spirit.”

“Fie!” She touched her lips in embarrassment. “Please tell me I did not undo my ‘cool factor’ during my speech about Meikyo Shisui?!”

“Haha...” I walked with the two of them out of the gym. “No... You were still pretty cool, Kyoshika. I understood your warrior’s conviction loud and clear...”

百

Haah... Why did I feel like I was making a walk of shame carrying Eito’s tray of food to his room...

“Nigou—can I ask a favor?” I stopped in front of the door to the pod room. “I need to have a private conversation with Eito... Is it all right if you just wait outside the door? I don’t care if you still listen in... it’ll just help me relax if it feels like we’re alone.”

Nigou touched his luscious lips... I wonder if there’s a real “Nigou” up on the satellite too, and he looks as effeminate as he did in Turamtammi’s hallucination? He even wore a pencil skirt... “Well... I suppose that’s fine, old boy!” Nigou beamed brightly. “After all, I can also remotely detonate the bomb in Mr. Aotsuki’s body, if he gives you any trouble! Ohohoho!”

I breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks, Nigou—but I doubt that will be necessary.” I smiled. “I don’t think Eito will actually do anything to me—and even if he does, I’m much stronger than he is now.” I balanced the tray in one hand, flexing by bicep. “He doesn’t have his Infuser, so there’s not much a skinny vegetarian like him can do to me.” I wasn’t trying to be mean, I was just trying to give Nigou some assurance...

“Ohoho—well said, Mr. Sumino!” Nigou laughed into his little hands. “Well then—good luck with your private conversation!” He waved his little arm overhead. “I can’t promise that the Honorable Sirei won’t barge in if he catches wind of our arrangement, however...”

“Haah... Well, thanks for the heads-up. I’ll deal with it if it comes to that.” I knocked on the door with my free hand. “Eito? I have your lunch...”

I didn’t hear anything right away.

“Eito?”

“Are you going to leave the tray?” His voice sounded flat—maybe he just woke up from a nap.

“... I was hoping to come inside, if that’s okay.”

“... Do whatever you want. You’re the one who has to unlock the door.”

“All right...” I pressed the tray against the door with my stomach, digging out the key from my pocket.

Eito was sitting in one of the simple chairs Nigou brought him, reading a book... He had pushed the other chair against the wall facing the corner, as if an invisible person was sitting there in time-out...

“Oh—you started reading No Longer Human?”

He set the bookmark, sighing while he uncrossed his long leg. “Yes. I suppose I started reading it without you to punish you for flying off the handle like that—but as they say, holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” He smiled up somewhat sadly. “I suppose you’re here to apologize for hurting my feelings?”

“Yeah—I’m sorry for getting mad on my own and making assumptions, without allowing you to explain yourself.” I set the tray down on the little pop-up table.

“Haah...” Eito sighed deeply, rubbing his eyes under his glasses. “You actually apologized... There’s such a thing as being too nice, Takumi. Or should I say, ‘people-pleasing’...”

I grabbed the other chair from the corner of the room. “Well, I am sorry...” Why did it feel like he took the time to symbolically position “my” chair like that because he was mad and frustrated alone in this tiny room... “Although I have been accused of being too people-pleasing in the past...” But that was Karua who said it, so... “Do you mind if I eat with you?” I set the chair at the table.

Eito’s hand curled around the edge of his book. “Before that... Takumi, do you know what that first Eito’s goal was? The one who sabotaged the mission, whom you were forced to kill...”

I was struck a bit by that question. “Well—he told us he wanted to eradicate mankind. Everything he did was just to make it back to the satellite and wreak havoc with his power... Why, is that not true?”

He gently placed the book on top of the pod window. “Well, I have to assume that’s true—after all, that was my goal when I first came here.” He smiled brightly. “I have a confession, Takumi—the night before last, I was actually visited by two ‘ghosts’. Aha... They were arguing with each other like a bad comedy routine.”

“Oh, great.” I rolled my eyes. “So the other one must’ve been the Asshole Eito.”

“Aha... Well, that nickname isn’t wholly undeserved.” He scratched his hair. “He was quite overbearing, with his maniacal ranting, constantly interrupting—I didn’t really sound like that, did I?”

“You sounded exactly like that.”

“I see. Well, that’s not wholly unexpected, either, haha...” He crossed his leg, clasping his hands over his knee. “You see—amidst all his unhinged ranting, that ‘other me’ did say something that stuck out to me—‘Are you really going to let the filthy humans get away with this?! Destroying them all is your whole reason for being!’” His eyes closed. “That really put it into perspective—why should my whole reason for being revolve around those disgusting humans that I despise so much? Why should I dedicate my entire life to destroying them? What will I have left, once I’ve completed my goal? A pile of dead humans?” He smiled. “That seems like a rather wasted life, to me.”

I was stunned—that was pretty much the last thing I expected him to say.

“Haha... Are you really so surprised, Takumi?” He smiled warmly. “After all—you’d never forgive me if I destroyed humanity, so there’s little point!”

“Geez...” I relaxed back in the chair. “So... Does that mean you’re still trying to find your new ‘reason for being’?”

“I am—although I don’t expect something like that to come to me overnight.” He finally stood up, lifting his chair and setting it at the table across from me. He looked like he wanted to say something else as he sat down, scooting his chair in a little. “... I apologize for speaking without thinking, Takumi.” His brows sloped. “I’m sure that must have seemed like an untoward confession, out of context—it’s quite a lot of pressure to tell someone to their face that they’re your reason for being... I don’t blame you for reacting the way you did.”

I took my plate from the tray. “Let’s not dwell on it. We’ve both apologized, so it’s fine.” I gripped my spongy triangle-cut sandwich in my hands. I said that, but... I know it’ll just keep bothering me. “... I’d prefer it if you had at least two or three other things. Like finishing your novel...” Ugh—I was so embarrassed I couldn’t even look at him. “But I won’t complain if I’m in second place... or even tied for first. Just as long as there’s something else!”

I didn’t even want to know what kind of stupidly honest smile was stuck on his face...

“It’s a promise then, Takumi.”

百

The sound of the waterfall echoed around the cavernous leisure lounge. The pool was really nice... just like the courtyard, I just rarely was in the mood to enjoy it before.

Eito gripped his rolled-up towel under his arm. Even though this was technically a “date”, we both decided to keep our t-shirts on for the walk over after changing, apparently... Now that I thought about it, I’d never even seen Eito’s legs, let alone his bare chest. The closest was last night, when he answered the door in a t-shirt rather than his giant puffy snow jacket... The skin on his legs and arms was really pale, unsurprisingly—for some reason I expected him to have chicken legs, but he had some lean calf muscle, like a runner. Well—he had to have some muscle definition, to be able to swing his scythe around like he did...

“Takumi?” Eito was clutching his copy of Kokoro to his leg. “I have a request—can we read first, and then go for a swim when we come to a nice stopping point?”

“That’s fine by me—it might be nice to swim while the sun is setting through the windows.” The pool would look really otherworldly bathed in the burning orange of the setting sun...

百

“‘My attitude towards Sensei then still resonates with me with a certain amount of pride. Because of the way I approached him, I believe, we were able to become so close to each other. Had I been curious in an impersonal and analytical way, the bond between us would surely not have lasted. I was, of course, not aware of all this at the time.’” I was transfixed by the projection of what was apparently Mt. Fuji at the back of the waterfall, listening to Eito’s gentle narration. “‘I hate to think of what might have happened had I acted differently. Even in his relationship with me, Sensei was in constant dread of being coldly analyzed.’” I let my eyes close.

百

“‘“Is there really guilt in loving?” I asked suddenly. “Yes, surely,” Sensei said. He seemed as certain as he did before. “Why?” I asked. “You will soon find out. In fact, you ought to know already. Your heart has been made restless by love for quite some time now.”’ Oh, Takumi—are you falling asleep again?”

My eyes shot open. “What? No—I was just resting my eyes.”

Eito laughed lightly. “Would you like to take a break? Maybe go for a swim to perk yourself up?”

I didn’t really want to swim at the moment… “Can I sit with you?”

He didn’t answer right away. “You mean, in the lounge chair? Aha… Well, there isn’t much room...”

“I don’t mind.” I sat up, pawing my hair away from my eyes. “If it’s okay with you...”

Perhaps subconsciously, he pressed the open book to his chest. “Well, I certainly don’t mind...”

I stood up, not even straightening my posture as I scooted into the lounge chair with him… He scooched to make room for me, but we were still practically right on top of each other…

I wrapped one arm around him, letting my head rest between his chest and the crook of his arm. One of my legs wrapped around his before I even realized it. I snuggled into him a bit to get cozy… This felt nice, even though he was still laying there completely stiff...

“… Should I keep reading?” His voice was soft.

“Yes, please do.” I felt like the old-fashioned writing style of the book was rubbing off on me a little...

“… Very well.” I heard the dry sound of the pages fluttering, then I closed my eyes. “Where was I...” I almost snickered—it was cute hearing Eito’s flustered voice, while he squirmed a bit until he was in a better position. “Ah—‘“But remember, there is guilt in loving. And remember too, that in loving, there is something sacred.”’ That was Sensei talking, in case you couldn’t tell by the context.”

“I could tell...” I nuzzled into his chest, breathing easily. His body language still felt a little awkward… but it was cozy.

Ah—he put his arm around me, settling in so he could get comfortable—it surprised me, but still somehow felt completely right. It was hesitant at first, then I felt his nails lightly brush my arm... it gave me warm tingles all over... “‘I was more mystified than ever by Sensei’s words. But, I never heard him mention the word “love” again.’”

百

“CANNONBALL!!”

Takemaru took a running jump, shelling the pool with a massive splash—

“—what?!” I shot upright—everyone and their mom was in the pool, splashing around and laughing...

“... hrm? Oh, dear...” Eito had apparently fallen asleep too, with his glasses on. The book was laying open on his stomach. “Haah... So much for our peaceful date...”

“Sorry...”

“Damnit, Nigou!” Sirei was shaking his fist, berating the poor little robot at the edge of the pool. “What the hell were you thinkin’?! Letting our ace in the hole Sumino run around unsupervised with that crazed killer!”

“Oh, but, sir!” Nigou was cowering, tears flying from his eyes. “Look at how sweetly they were sleeping in each other’s arms—surely if Mr. Aotsuki had ill intentions, he could have easily strangled Mr. Sumino in his sleep...”

“... Whelp, I’m going back—this timeline’s unsalvageable.”

“No, wait, Takumi—” Eito laughed lightly, his eyes still looking tired behind his glasses. “Let’s join the others in the pool—they must not hate me to my core if they’re willing to tolerate my presence in their precious free time...”

I looked out blearily at everyone in the pool—the twins were playing on a giant inflatable orca, Takemaru was racing Yugamu across the pool while Shouma was struggling to keep up behind them—Moko was shooting the water gun at Nozomi and Darumi, who were laughing and splashing her back, Tsubasa was floating around in an inner tube with a fruity drink, and Gaku practically popped a nosebleed watching Hiruko stepping out of the pool in her little black swimsuit—even Kurara had her mask off, lounging at the edge of the pool with Kyoshika, who was dipping the Holy Jumonji Sword into the water, then carefully wiping it off with a towel...

I smiled. “It looks like they’re having fun—let’s finish up the next chapter, then I want to join them.”

Eito looked up at me with an oddly soft expression. In that dream I had, he was the one clinging to me, and hovering over me like this—he actually looked pretty cute right now, with his eyes flicked up to me in this unsure expression...

His eyes closed, a soft smile spreading on his face. “Very well—though I can’t be sure exactly when you fell asleep.”

“That’s okay.” I laid back down, resting my head on his chest. “You can decide where we left off.” Everyone had already seen us anyway, so there was little point being embarrassed now... I just had to convince myself of that, anyway...

I listened to the dry sound of the pages flicking. “Ah—let’s continue here.” Eito surprised me by wrapping his arm around me again, gently dragging his fingers up and down my arm... Oh, he may have been doing that before, when I fell asleep... it felt pretty nice, even though he was just barely touching me—it was so simple, it gave me tingles all over. “‘“I do not want your admiration now, because I do not want your bitterness in the future. I bear with my loneliness now, in order to avoid greater loneliness in the years ahead. You see, loneliness is the price we have to pay for being born in this modern age, so full of freedom, independence, and our own egotistical selves.”’ I’m sure you can guess who was saying that...”

I snickered. “Sounds like classic Sensei.”

“Indeed.” He hummed to himself in a small laugh. I could hear the others laughing in the pool, and someone else cannonballed in...

“Hey, Takumi! Come on—you can read anytime, come join us!” That sounded like Tsubasa.

“Wait—the chapter’s almost over.” Eito rubbed my shoulder with his thumb. “‘Hearing Sensei’s words, I could not think of anything to say.’”

百

百

百

🤭💕

Another mellow chapter—I swear I didn’t intend for Yugamu to keep cucking Eito in his own fic X’D They’re just such good characters, I love them both 🥰 I said in my replies to the comments that Takumi needs close friends, he can’t just rely on his bf for all his emotional needs—for down that path lies disaster lol

Tbh I initially imagined Takumi and Eito getting a little frisky, maybe have a little neon-lit night swim—but it seemed inappropriate to tack on given the general tone of this chapter XD Oh well, maybe another time 👀 I just want to make sure it’s the right time for them 💞

Parts of Kyoshika’s speech were inspired by two games—Suikoden III, and Final Fantasy XI. A child is killed in the opening act of Suikoden III after attacking a seasoned knight with his dagger, since he believed that she ordered the burning and ransacking of his village. A war veteran is trying to get the friend who survived to snap out of his stupor, telling him that the child accepted his death as soon as he drew his blade, and all warriors live and die by “this cold truth.” (It’s a poignant scene, if you accept that the veteran is a giant talking duck.) The other quote, “The strongest warriors are those who draw their blades the least” has probably been said elsewhere, but I know it from the end of the Ninja flag quest in FFXI—those were the words of a deceased kunoichi left behind to her young daughter, in the form of her sealed dagger which was enchanted to never be able to be unsheathed. When her father passes it on to her, he tells her, “This is what your mother wanted to impart to you.” And she hugs the dagger and whispers, “Mom...” 😭

My only other note is that it’s just my personal headcanon that Eito would be a vegetarian, but I’m also biased as a hippie-dippie vegetarian myself XD But he’s more of a Lawful Evil/Chaotic Good vegetarian—“You don’t eat meat because you love animals, I don’t eat meat because I hate humans. We are not the same.” XD

Anyway lol, so far the ADHD hyper-focus miraculously hasn’t worn off yet, so hopefully I’ll see you again soon in the next one! Thanks for reading, y’all!

Chapter Text

Chapter 9 – Shinigami

“I don’t want to ruin everyone’s friendly mood, so I suppose I’ll seek out an apology for crashing our date later.” Eito peeled his shirt off over his head—so that’s what he looked like. My eyes were drawn to his arms—they were long and slender, like his legs, but with lightly-toned muscle that created a supple shape. Ugh—I felt like a dirty old man using the word “supple”, but that’s what came to mind... I mean, I already felt everything when I was snuggling up to him in the pool chair...

When his eyes met mine, I looked away automatically. Even though I found him attractive, for some reason it just felt superficial to dwell on his physical appearance—after all, he accepted me, even though to him I look like a burned-up skeleton...

“Aha... I apologize that I’m no Adonis, Takumi.”

“—that’s not it.” The others were still splashing and shouting in the pool, but I still didn’t want to be overheard... “I... Well, I’ll tell you later.”

He had a small smile. “Your skeleton’s smoking...”

“It is not...” Was it really that obvious?

He laughed lightly, folding his shirt and setting it on the lounge chair. “Well, shall we?”

“... Yeah.” I made sure the front of my trunks was tied really well. “Hey, Eito?” I peered up at him. “Can you do me a favor, and go around talking to other people besides me?” His expression instantly flattened. “Please—at least try.”

He sighed. “Well, if that’s what will make you happy.”

“It will—and I think you might be surprised.” I gave him a smile, but it felt weak in the face of his obvious displeasure... “If you need to—just politely ask if they can talk in a lower tone, just say, ‘It’s easier for me to process what you’re saying.’”

Eito’s eyes closed. “I suppose I can do that... Not that some of these lumbering oafs could keep their voices down if their lives depended on it.”

“Please...” I tried to give him the shoujo manga look I had in the library... I’m a very cute skeleton asking so sincerely...

Eito straight-up covered his eyes with his hand. “Well, I’ll do it because you’ve asked. But—only if you tell me what you were thinking later.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. “It’s a deal—thanks.” For a split second, I got the urge to give him a little hug or a peck on the cheek as “encouragement”, but—I just couldn’t do it in front of everyone. Gah—what were they all thinking, crashing the pool while we were off to the side all snuggled up on each other?! And nobody bothered to wake me up?!

Maybe it was to cover my embarrassment, but for some reason I felt like taking a running cannonball into the pool myself...

百

Takemaru was sporting his trashy leopard-print trunks... “Haah... Guess I blew my chances, now that everyone here’s seen my damn scars...” He ran his palm down his marred arm contemplatively...

“You think so?” Yugamu beat me to the punch. “Hehe... I find your body quite attractive, scars and all...” He had that worrying glint in his eye... “In fact, I think they may be the best part...”

“Geez—you are a real freak.” Takemaru sighed, seemingly playing it off. “Guess that kinky getup of yours ain’t just for show.” Yugamu even wore his collar into the pool...

“Ehehe... I’m just being honest.” He delicately brushed down the scars on his own pale arms. “I have a few myself... A scar is a sign that you fought to survive, and won. That you still desperately want to cling to life... I find that rather affirming, don’t you?” He smiled brightly at Takemaru.

Takemaru considered it for a second, looking down at the rough back of his tanned hand. “Yeah... Guess each one of these is from a scrape where I fought for my life. Heh—feels good to come out on top and still be alive, huh?” He flexed his bicep with a grin.

“Indeed—even one who deals in death like myself finds comfort in the human spirit’s desire to continue on in the face of adversity.”

“Heh—maybe you’re alright, Pretty Boy.” Takemaru leaned over his legs, giving Yugamu a satisfied look as if he passed his assessment. Huh... Were these guys actually getting along pretty well? That was encouraging—they did have a bit of a “bro” dynamic in my timeline, I don’t know if they ever really hung out one-on-one though... it’d be nice if they did.

“Oh, my...” Yugamu snickered to himself. “Such sincerity... You’re making me want to bare it all.” He brushed one of the thin cords securing his eyepatch.

Takemaru was studying his face. “You got a bigger one under there?”

“I sure do, my friend.” I wonder how many of these are going right over Takemaru’s head... “It’s rather unsightly, so I prefer to keep it covered—but moreso than that, it’s embarrassing to me as a professional.” Yugamu covered his eyepatch with his palm. “I really messed up on a job when I was younger—my entire eye was completely unsalvageable. Ehehe... That, and I still like to leave a little mystery.” Well that was shocking, seeing as this guy wore the tiniest-ass nothing speedo I’d ever seen in my life...

Takemaru was still hunched over his legs, like he was sitting in the sauna. “Well, you don’t gotta show us if you don’t wanna.” His eyes went to the side. “But we’re all friends here, man.”

Uh oh... By the expression on Yugamu’s face, those were the magic words. “Ehehe... Well, perhaps someday, I’ll show you.” Oh, my—Takemaru and Yugamu? I can’t say I ever thought about it before... but seeing them talk like this, they do somehow have oddly good chemistry—I guess we’ll have to see...

I glanced around the pool to “check on” Eito like a doting parent—oh, he was talking to Shouma while they pumped more air into a giant inflatable turtle. Shouma had a cheery smile—they were probably talking about animals. That was nice... Maybe Eito asked him about his dog. Hopefully he had the good sense to not bring up gory details about factory farming, Shouma probably didn’t need any convincing. I guess I can’t really pester him about what he talked about with everyone later, or I really will sound like a helicopter parent...

I turned back to our little group with a small smile. “Oh, Yugamu—I noticed you took off your makeup.” The scar on his cheek was a lot more prominent without his stylized eyeliner around it. “Your skin looks nice and healthy.”

“Hehe... How sweet of you to notice, Takumi.” He grinned widely. “That’s thanks to a special homemade concoction I drink every morning—would you like to try it?”

“... All it does is help your skin? What, does it stimulate collagen growth?”

He gave me that worrying look, like he’d start drooling any second. “Well, if it doesn’t kill me first... Ehehe, stimulating my survival instinct is what makes all the cells in my body kick into overdrive...”

“Geez...”

“Hah! What, Takumi—you never feel that rush in battle?” Takemaru slapped his legs—damn, they were practically tree trunks, I never really noticed before. “Gettin’ your blood pumpin’ is how you know you’re alive!!”

“I guess...”

Yugamu rubbed his chin, eyeing Takemaru’s face. “I couldn’t help but notice that the makeup which manifests as part of our Class Armor forms a more wild design around your eyes, Takemaru—yours is one of the few which is downturned instead of up.”

“Makeup, huh?” Takemaru rubbed his jaw. “I always thought of it as warpaint—but I guess same difference, huh?”

Yugamu grinned widely. “Now you’re getting it.” I couldn’t help but feel like I was missing something... I always thought the markings just looked like eyeshadow—well, mine and Eito’s, for sure—some of the others have markings on their forehead instead, like a third eye...

Takemaru looked like he was pondering the universe. “Ya think Kurara gets it under her mask?”

Our eyes all went to her lounging at the far edge of the pool. Honestly, I’m kind of surprised she felt comfortable enough with everyone to take her mask off this early... I guess that’s a good sign.

百

I swam over to Tsubasa in her inner tube. “Hey Tsubasa, do you know how to frog swim? So the chlorine doesn’t soak into your hair...”

She laughed. “How do you know about that, Takumi?”

“Well, you just floated around like this when we all had a pool party in my future, too...”

“Aww—can’t my future self have any fun?” She almost pouted, noisily sipping her drink that was practically just ice. “—well, it’s true—I try to avoid getting my hair wet so the chlorine doesn’t turn it green...”

I smiled up at her, almost feeling a bit sheepish. “Well, just a little bit won’t hurt, right? Especially if you rinse out your hair right after...” I nodded to the showerheads lining the walls of the lounge.

“Ugh!” She clenched her fist. “I can’t let those perverted boys like Gaku watch me rinsing off! It’s embarrassing!”

“Sorry...” Haah... Guess it’s up to me to talk to Gaku about not creeping on the girls... He won’t listen to me if he thinks I’m gay though, but the idea of randomly peppering in, “By the way, I’m bisexual” is a little awkward, too—oh. That’s another thing—should I tell the girls? It shouldn’t matter, theoretically, since I’m “with” someone anyway—I just don’t want them to feel uncomfortable later, if they hug me without reservation now because I’m their gay BFF or whatever. Maybe I’m over-thinking it... After what happened with Nozomi in my first timeline, it’s just always been a worry in the back of my mind. Come to think of it—what was everyone’s perception of me in my second timeline? Yugamu flirted with me a lot, just like he did with everyone else... but the extent of our “relationship” was just something between us, I didn’t really talk about it with anyone else, not even Nozomi... I don’t know why. I guess because talking about it would’ve made it real, and then I would’ve just felt guilty... haah. I thought I already dealt with those feelings and was in a good place to move on, but they keep getting dredged up here and there... Maybe if Eito and I get even closer, and Yugamu finds his special someone, I’ll finally be able to let it go... But that just feels like a bad reason to rush things.

Actually... that brought up an interesting question.

I couldn’t help but peer over at Eito across the pool, sitting at the edge with his feet dipped in, no doubt trapped in an awkward one-sided conversation with Kyoshika about the Holy Jumonji Sword or ninjutsu... Is Eito actually gay? He seemed to pretty much only have interest in me... but do I even look like a man to him? He said I looked like a skeleton... would he feel the same way if I happened to be a girl? I’m obviously not just a nondescript pile of bones... is he going to be okay touching me here and there, when it comes down to the wire?

... now that I think about it, Eito was all over me in every other timeline...

“AAAHHH!!” Kurara shrieked from her lounge chair, desperately trying to cover her face. “My mask... where’s my mask?!”

Kyoshika was laughing, her eyes flicking up to the ceiling—Kurara’s mask was stuck up on a pipe.

“Geez—did she really not notice?” Tsubasa let herself dip down into the center of her inner tube. “Well, maybe now’s a good time to get used to it...” Her eyes closed as she starfished out comfortably. “Ahh... the water feels so nice! I’m glad Takemaru rounded us all up to go swimming.”

“Takemaru did that?” Geez—he didn’t own up to it. They all just treated the fact that they were here as a matter of course. “Haah... That guy was probably patrolling up and down the halls looking for me, that’s why—he’s really turning into an over-protective big brother...”

“Oh, yeah! That’s it.” Tsubasa laughed into her hand. “Takemaru does give off that ‘reliable big brother’ vibe—like he’ll go beat up any boys that make me cry! Hehe…”

I smiled. “That’s what you think of him?”

“Yeah—he seemed pretty intimidating at first, but... Oh, it was your friend Yugamu who said he’s ‘more hug life than thug life!’” She laughed.

“I see...” I cast a glance over at the other side of the pool... Takemaru was leading Shouma in some push-ups—whoa, Shouma got huge again. I wonder how long it’ll last this time... Haah, Yugamu was just basking like a lizard on a hot rock without a care in the world, leaving nothing to the imagination... Who wants to bet Eito never made his way over to talking to him.

Well, whatever—I just got a little more insight into Tsubasa and how she feels... Maybe it’s better for me to just keep an open mind and not push my “ships” too hard. I have a feeling everyone will be more open to following their hearts this time around...

百

I swam over to the shallow end where Eito was sitting on the steps, touching down so I could walk through the water. “You taking a break?”

He looked up at me. “Hello, Takumi... To be honest, I’m all swimmed-out. Swam?” He looked up briefly. “Well—at any rate, you look like you’re still having fun, so don’t mind me.” He gave me a small smile. He really does look different with wet slicked-back hair, and without his glasses...

“I guess I’m all swimmed-out too.” I scooted to sit next to him in the water. His body language was very closed-off... “Are you all right?” Maybe he got a cramp...

“Aha...” He clasped his pruny fingers together. “Well... I thought it might be easier without my glasses. But that sort of made it worse...”

“Oh...” I followed his gaze back out to the pool. “The others?” He never really said much about what the others looked like to him, just that they were generally “hideous”...

He ran a hand back over his wet hair. “Since my vision is a little blurry, it looks like a sea of rotting corpses all melting and disintegrating into the water. Haha... Even though the pool water looks clean enough to me, it’s hard to get it off my mind.” Hmm... His comparison to the impossible trident did really put it into perspective. If I kept hallucinating that a rotting dead rat was floating around in my bathwater, it’d be hard to get my mind off it, too...

“I see...” I leaned back on my tailbone, letting my legs float up in the water. “Well... I’m glad to see everyone having fun, but this is still our date—don’t feel obligated to stay if you want to do something else.”

“Aha... I wonder what would possess everyone to throw an impromptu pool party... It’s more than a little embarrassing to imagine being walked in on while the both of us were asleep...”

“Ugh—tell me about it.” It seems a little silly for Takemaru to still be so over-protective—maybe Sirei caught wind that we were alone in here and barked at everyone, “Get your butts down to the pool, pronto!!” And everyone just went with it because it sounded fun... Sirei was really giving a dressing-down to poor Nigou, so that probably wasn’t too far off... “We can always come back for a sunset swim another time...”

“Is there somewhere you want to go, Takumi?”

“Me? Hmm...” I tried to picture where else there was to really “go” in this school... “I guess we could take a walk around the woods outside the school—if you’re not too tired.” I guess that didn’t sound very intentional for a “date”—I just wanted to keep our options open.

Eito had a small smile to himself. “Well—I’d like to shower and rinse all the chlorine out of my hair, before anything else.” Without his glasses, it was easier to parse his facial expressions. “Nigou was kind enough to provide me with an electric kettle from the cafeteria—would you like to join me in my room for tea in an hour or so?”

“Sure—oh.” But Sirei probably wouldn’t tolerate me sneaking around with Eito without supervision anymore... And that pod room was just so dreary... “Well—let me see if I can negotiate with Nigou. Maybe... you can visit me in my room.” Hoo—I said it. I just hope that didn’t come across as too much of an invitation... “—after the next battle, if you prove yourself they might let you back into your own room, too.”

He smiled brightly. “Or I could just destroy Sirei and Nigou.”

“Nuh-uh!!” Sirei appeared at the edge of the pool red in the face, crossing his tiny arms over his body defensively. “You’re a loose cannon, Aotsuki—you even look at me wrong, and I’ll blow you sky-high so fast your head’ll spin!!”

My brows sloped. “No one’s seriously suggesting that, Sirei...”

“I can’t tolerate even sarcastic jabs about destroying your commanding officer out of this one!!”

Eito reflexively reached up as if he was going to fix his glasses. “Well, then... Perhaps this will convince you.” He cupped his mouth, leaning in to whisper something into Sirei’s non-existent ear...

“Uh-huh...” Sirei nodded, his little hand to his mouth contemplatively. “Uh-huh... I see.” Ugh—I’d give anything to be able to hear him... “You don’t say?”

Finally Eito pulled away with a bright smile. “So then we understand each other.”

“Hrmph!” Sirei crossed his arms, puffing out his cheeks like a little chipmunk. “Well... Camp rules! Keep your door open until further notice!!” Then he winked at me. “Sumino—I’m also going to need to see you in the Infirmary!”

“What, now?”

“Well, not necessarily now—get yourself all rinsed off if it pleases you. But I absolutely forbid you from being in the same room as Aotsuki until you see me in the Infirmary!” He produced a rose from somewhere... “So don’t keep me waiting!” Then he bounced away into thin air.

“... What the hell was that about?”

“Aha... He probably wants to give you my detonator.” Eito smiled widely at me. “That’s perfectly fine with me—if I actually do something that makes you feel that you have to blow me up, then I suppose I deserve it!” His smile looked like it sparkled, too...

“Don’t look so pleased with the idea of me blowing you up...”

“Haha... I just consider it a ‘trust exercise’, Takumi.”

“I guess...” That just made it embarrassing...

“Well, then...” Eito finally stood up, water dripping from his legs. “Shall we meet up in an hour and a half?” He smiled gently—he was a little too handsome with his hair slicked back like that, now I know what he’d look like fresh out of the shower—gah. “I’ll be happy to make you some tea this time.”

“—that sounds good.”

“Aha... Your skeleton is smoking.”

“—it so is not!”

百

I let the hot water wash over my face, weighing down my hair... I had kind of a moral dilemma, you might say... Should I jerk off before going to Eito’s room? Ugh—it made me feel weird even considering it, but—if I got it all out of my system, maybe I wouldn’t be tempted to overstay if things got a little “cozy”... Well, he just invited me for tea, maybe he was planning to read a little more, or start No Longer Human. I don’t know... I guess it was a continuation of our “date”, even if the whole thing felt so low-key I could barely call it that... haah. I guess I’m not really in the mood to do it, and working myself up just so I can get it out of my system seems counter-productive...

百

“Thanks for joining me, Sumino!” Sirei was awfully giddy, standing in the middle of this creepy-ass red-lit room. “I’ll get right to the point—I’m going to smash your hand with this here hammer, then we’ll stick it in the Revive-O-Matic to reconstruct it, and that’ll implant the detonator for Aotsuki’s bomb in the joint of your left pinky!” He winked, giving me a big thumbs-up.

“... There isn’t a better way to do it?”

“Well, I could blow up your bomb and reconstruct you from scratch...”

I sighed. “Fine... Let’s just get this over with.”

Sirei sparkled, raising the hammer. “Glad you see it my way, Sumino!” He squinted one eye, his tongue sticking out as he took a few practice swings. “Ready? On three... One... two...!” I braced myself—

百

“Thank you for joining me, Takumi.” Eito pulled out the other chair from the square folding table.

“Thanks for having me.” So formal... I felt that my body language was a little stiff as I sat down, scooting in my chair. I was a lot more aware of my left pinky finger than I ever have been in my life... I just tried to put it out of my mind.

My eyes flicked to the door, making sure it stayed propped open—I grabbed a big decorative rock from the courtyard, so hopefully that was good enough for Sirei... I just don’t want him to barge in here brandishing his hammer. Like a dad with a shotgun on prom night...

Eito picked up the electric kettle. It actually looked pretty nice, one of those with a tea infuser cylinder in the middle—I was expecting some cheap kitschy junk from the cafeteria. “I found this white tea with ginger and yuzu our first day here that I’ve grown fond of.”

“Oh, really?”

He smoothly poured my cup first. “Would you like a little cold water to top off?”

“Actually, yeah—thanks.”

I watched as he poured a little water from a filter with some condensation on the inside.

Why is this so awkward...

Eito poured himself a cup next. “There’s no need to be so apprehensive, Takumi.” He finally set the kettle on the stand, and took his seat. “I thought it would be nice to chat with you over tea.” He blew across his tea, his eyelashes looking long behind his glasses.

“Sure.” I relaxed a bit, blowing across my hot tea.

Eito smiled to himself. “Do you remember my onslaught of questions our first day here? Haha... I suppose to you, that was several months ago now...”

“Yeah—that’s true. A whole two hundred days ago... Well—a hundred ninety-eight, I guess. Wait, no—one ninety-seven.”

Eito laughed lightly. “Well—when’s your birthday? What’s your zodiac sign? Do you have any siblings? What about your hobbies? Your favorite food?”

I tried to keep the order right in my head. “My birthday’s April sixteenth, so I guess that makes me an Aries.” I only know that because Karua looked it up for me. “I’m an only child, but I have someone who’s like a sister to me.”

He held his cup flat against his palm. “Is that so?”

“Yeah...” I held my warm cup between my palms. Judging by his reaction... he must have an inkling. Or his future self told him more than he let on... I guess we’ll just have to see. Out of everyone, it’ll probably be the least destructive to Eito if he finds out the truth... He already promised he’d find a new reason for being... besides me. “Oh—I guess my hobbies are...”

百

“Your drawing of that impossible tuning fork was actually pretty good. Especially without a ruler.” I took another warm sip of tea.

“Haha... Well, I’m afraid I’m only capable of drawing geometric shapes with lots of straight lines.” He held his cup like an old man. “I’m good at memorizing patterns, but I fear my sense of creativity is lacking, haha...”

“I’m sure you’re plenty creative—what about your writing?”

He pushed up his glasses. “I’m merely writing what I’m thinking, and it flows out naturally that way. I wouldn’t exactly call that ‘creative’... It’s more like journaling, in a sense.”

“Maybe it seems that way to you, but that’s not really a natural skill most people have...” I palmed my teacup in both hands. “Can I read something you’ve written?”

His expression became unreadable, not looking at me or anything in particular. “I suppose... It would only bother you if I refused, aha...” He stiffly set his cup on the table.

“Well...” I was about to say, “You don’t have to if you don’t want to”—but if he was willing to show me something, however reluctantly, I’d actually really like to read it... “If you don’t mind—I’d like to read it. Anything you’d be willing to share.”

“Haha...” He went over to a little nightstand, sitting next to one of the open pods furnished with a simple blanket and pillow—yeesh, he actually slept there? Couldn’t be me—I’d feel so claustrophobic, like the pod window would shut on me any second... Plus, I’ve spent enough time in one of those cursed things for a lifetime...

Eito opened the drawer, pulling out a loose stack of papers and a notebook. He hesitated for a moment, shuffling the papers one at a time, pausing to look at each one.

He padded back over to the table with an odd smile. “If I were smart, I’d tear this up right now, shove the pieces in my mouth, and swallow it.” He handed me a single paper.

His handwriting was neat and precise, each kanji stroke delicate and immaculate, all of them staying inside the lines of the gridded paper.

“Thank you.” I held the paper gingerly between my fingers, crossing my leg as I began to read...

‘The Shinigami came for me
Before my eighteenth year.
Before I could even vote
or graduate with honors.
My ambition was whisked away
into the night
with a wave of its skeletal hand—
        Vanishing into the wind,
It all felt so useless.

I wasn’t afraid to take its hand;
rather, I was afraid of how it would feel.

Black poison seeped out of its finger-bones
coursing through my veins
killing them off one by one
my flesh exploding like a maggot-filled corpse
releasing nothing but hot air—
        Nothing but hot air,
What did my hands feel like before?

I awoke the next morning
Shaking myself out of the blackness of a dream—
I would not forget that feeling of peace
when the Shinigami came for me.

The way its skeletal fingers set my nerves on fire
Puncturing my flesh with its gentle caress
I felt nothing but pain
when it looked at me
Its teeth chattering in its skull with each small word.
        Nothing but pain—
In this cruel dream.

My fingers trembled as I waited, nightly
for the Shinigami to take me away
for real.
That’s when I knew
        I was truly dead.’

My eyes scrunched closed. It seemed like such a self-destructive act to even let me read this... Is this how the other Eitos felt, or is it just him? No wonder he hated me so much... I didn’t even have the decency to take him away for real.

“When did you write this?”

Eito had gone back to the drawer, tucking the rest of the papers inside. “When, indeed...” He smoothed a paper that had curled up on top of the nightstand. “It was after you came back the second time.” He smiled at me over his shoulder. “You looked a little different. But I could still tell it was you.”

“... I did?”

“Hm.” He laughed lightly to himself. “My stupid, blind future self... If he wasn’t swirling around in there with you, none of this would’ve happened.” He gave me a tired smile. “I really did mess things up for myself.”

I couldn’t help but get a small smile myself. “Yeah—you did.” I held the paper in my lap like it was something precious. “Guess he stuck it to both of us, right at the end.”

There was a comfortable silence in the pod room. I became aware of the gentle hum in the walls from the various elements keeping a huge building like this running.

Eito sat back down at the table, pulling in his chair. “Would you like more tea?”

‘Ding dong, bing bong!’

“Fwwaaahhh... At ease, soldiers. It’s time to hit the hay.”

I was still holding the paper lightly between my fingers. “I guess I should decline on more tea—but thank you.” I stood up. “... Thanks for letting me read this.” I stopped in front of him, unsure if I should hand it back to him, or...

Eito looked up at me with a somewhat wistful, sad expression. “You may as well keep that. I’ve already written it down, so it’s served its purpose.”

“... Are you sure?”

“Why not?” He crossed one long leg over the other, with a slight laugh in his tone. “You’re holding it so delicately, like it’s something precious...”

“I—” I felt a little called out—I didn’t expect him to say something like that. “Well...” I didn’t actually know what to say.

“Haha... I don’t care what you do with it. You can burn it or bury it in the courtyard for all I care.” He clasped his hands around his knee. “Or you can read it late at night over and over, wondering what it means...”

I almost rolled my eyes. It was pretty obvious what it meant, but... I guess I could be wrong.

“All right.” I neatly folded the paper, tucking it safely upright in my back pocket. “Well... Sorry to dash out like this, normally I wouldn’t mind staying a little longer...” I licked my lips out of habit. “—but I promised to help someone with something after the nighttime announcement.”

“Is that so?” Eito sat up straight—he surprised me by wrapping his arms up around my back. “Well, that’s too bad.” The sudden contact made my heart skip a beat...

“Don’t tempt me—I really have to go, I’m sorry.” I put a slight laugh in my inflection, but... if I hadn’t made that promise to Shion, I’d stay behind in a heartbeat. Especially since Nigou or Sirei wasn’t dragging me out by the ear... But, it was important that I help Shion to be more comfortable before introducing him to everybody. I really should get going...

Eito peered up at me, his eyes looking large behind his glasses, his chin touching my stomach. It’s like he was silently pleading with me if I really had to go—no, not “like”.

I pushed his silky hair back from his forehead. Hrm—his other self’s hair got blown back from his face just by the intensity of his power, when he was fighting all of us in the Defense Room—it wasn’t a very good memory, but he did look pretty handsome like that. Hmm... that gave me an idea. I already wanted to get him a nice landscape painting from the Gift-O-Matic to perk up this dreary room, so—I’ll just have to poke around some more tomorrow.

“... Well, I suppose I should let you go.” Eito’s hands slipped out from around me as he stood up. I wish I wasn’t so short when he was standing in front of me like that... but I guess it’s not so bad. “What were you thinking, while you were looking at me?” I got a little tickly feeling as he cupped my jaw, brushing my ear... “In the pool...” Ugh—he was too aware that my ears were sensitive now...

“... I was thinking that—I liked your body, especially your arms—” He was so close, too tickly—“But—it felt like a superficial thought, so I didn’t want to tell you.”

“Superficial? Aha... Why would you worry about that?”

“... because to you, I just look like a skeleton.”

“Hm.” He laughed lightly to himself. “Well, I like my little skeleton Takumi... I guess that makes me superficial, too.” His fingers were a little cold as they pushed through my hair—his lips were still dry and chapped, he must’ve taken a hot shower—but it was warm in the cute hesitant flashes of his tongue while he softly kissed me. It felt really nice... the clumsiness just affirmed for me what a miracle it was that this guy wanted to be this close to me at all... I wonder if there’s really a way to cure his cognitive disorder for good?

“Nn...” Ugh—embarrassing, I keep making these little noises subconsciously...

“Hm.” It wasn’t quite a laugh, but I could feel his satisfied smirk that he got a noise like that out of me... ugh I wanted to be mad, but now he was kissing me more deeply, it felt really good... Where’d he pick that up?! It felt different than when he was just copying her... uh oh, uh... maybe we should hit the brakes soon...

As if he was reading my mind, he softly broke the kiss and touched his forehead to mine—wah, why did that somehow feel more intimate than kissing... I was a little out of breath...

“You’re still so cute to me, no matter what you look like...” His voice was lower than normal... “I won’t hold my breath that there’s some miracle cure out there for my condition. Haha... Sometimes I think it wouldn’t be so bad like this.”

He was so close, I just closed my eyes. “If I can... I want to help you.” I licked my lips, trying to breathe more evenly. “I’m sorry if that sounds condescending—I just don’t want you to have to suffer around everyone for the rest of your life.” Should I even say this... “I still see you flinching sometimes, when the others are laughing loudly, or when a lot of people are together in the same room...”

“Oh, so you saw that?” He chuckled dryly.

“... Even if it’s a long shot, it’s one of my goals this time around.” I reached up to cup both sides of his face, so I could look straight at him. “I don’t want to get your hopes up—but I’ll try my best.”

His eyes looked tired, I could see the beginnings of crow’s feet at the edges. “Well, I promise not to get my hopes up.” His eyes crinkled just a little more. “Haha... Watching my little skeleton Takumi trying so hard is good enough, I won’t be disappointed even if you don’t get any results.”

“Geez...” My eyes flicked away—hearing him say “my” skeleton Takumi twice in a row was... “Well... I’ll still do my best.” I licked my lips subconsciously. “I have to leave in another minute, so...”

His thumb brushed the shell of my ear. “A whole minute?” I could feel his smirk against my lips—this kiss was quickly blowing past gentle... Ugh, this sucks—I shouldn’t have double-booked myself... he really doesn’t want me to go. It’s a good thing he doesn’t have a proper bed in here that’s easy to fall backwards onto...

百

I lightly slapped both sides of my face before pushing through the doors to the roof. Center myself... calm as the mirror glaze of a frozen pond, Meikyo Shisui...

I could see his purple glow from the other side of the fence—Shion was sitting on the ledge I was at this morning, his flames twisting against the inky night sky.

He turned over his shoulder as I walked up. “Good evening, Takumi.” His avatar floated up and phased through the fence, then touched down on the ground. “I was just curious what the view looked like from there.”

“Oh, did you see me out there earlier?”

“Well...” He pressed his hand over his heart. “I felt that you were restless, so I decided it would be okay to just check on you a little... But I was relieved that a friend had already joined you by the time I manifested here.” He smiled gently. “So I went back to resting in my pod.” Shion was so sincere with his feelings—it made me feel like there was no point even getting embarrassed.

“Yeah—that was Yugamu. He is a really good friend.” I joined Shion by the fence. “Do you want to go back to the other side? I promise I’ll be careful around the edge, haha...”

“Oh! Well...” He gazed back through the chain-links. “I suppose we can... Whatever you’d like to do, Takumi.”

I smiled. “Well, what do you want to do?” His big eyes flicked back to me. “I want to help you get comfortable before meeting everyone tomorrow—is there anything in particular you want more practice with?”

“Hmm...” He was contemplating it with his finger at his chin... picturing that little bald baby doing that like an old detective made me laugh for some reason. “Ah—what is it?”

“Nothing—I was just wondering if your real body is the one emoting, and your avatar’s just reflecting it.”

“Haha... I suppose that must be it.” He smiled warmly. “To be honest—controlling my avatar feels like second nature now. And the properties of the protective fluid in my pod leaves my real body feeling numb...”

“I see...” The more I hear about it, the more sad it makes me. “Well—let’s go sit out on the ledge, then. The view really is better unobstructed.”

He floated up. “All right. Oh—Takumi, how did you get there before?”

I carefully sidled around the fence, keeping my feet parallel to the thin ledge. “—like this!” I hopped to the platform jutting out on the other side, landing smoothly with an extra step.

“Ah... I see.” He was still floating on the other side. “It still seems a little dangerous—but you look like you know what you’re doing.”

I held out my hand for him. “Do you want to try? Haha, you won’t fall, anyway...”

“Oh!” His avatar touched back down on the ground. “Well...” He walked carefully, mirroring what I did, clutching onto the pole as he sidled around the fence... He placed one foot in front of the other, balancing on the thin ledge... He did look a little apprehensive, he was really committing...

In one motion, he let go of the fence and threw himself towards the platform—I caught him as he stumbled into me.

“—hey, that was great! It really looked like you jumped instead of floated.” I steadied him upright by the shoulders.

“Haha... Well, I did jump.” He closed his eyes. Oh—I just touched him without realizing, but he didn’t burn my hands at all. “That was actually pretty fun... I can even tell that my heart’s beating faster...”

“Hehe... Well, don’t tell Sirei, he’ll think I’m a bad influence.”

“Haha... Never.” He peered up at me through his long, feathery lashes. Ugh—it was almost like Kako and Ima, little sibling cuteness aggression...

“Let’s sit at the edge.” I realized I was holding his hand as I sat down, letting one leg dangle off the side.

He sat down with both legs hanging off, his loafers lightly knocking back against the wall. He looked like he was seeing a whole new world, with his palms curled around the edge of the platform. “... It was quite exciting to jump, I convinced myself that I wouldn’t float, haha...”

“Well—I’m glad that you actually could, just in case... But I know what you mean.” In a morbid way... I wasn’t much of a sports guy, mostly because I was too lazy to get up early for practice—but I could kind of understand what Takemaru was getting at. There was something exhilarating about combat... it was a conflicting feeling, something I never wanted to get used to. Maybe it was that “social contract” Kyoshika and Yugamu were getting at about a warrior accepting their death when they draw their blade—it was nothing personal. Both sides were just trying to survive... that’s what I had to tell myself, anyway. I had to learn to accept it if the Futurans couldn’t, or wouldn’t, accept my olive branch. It was nothing personal—their planet and their people had just been scarred too deeply for reconciliation. I had to just accept that, and honor their determination as a warrior. Even if my efforts ended in failure—as long as I tried, I could still walk away with a clean conscience... that’s what I told myself.

“Ah, what’s that, Takumi? Something slipped out of your pocket...”

“Oh—” I twisted around to grab Eito’s poem, folding it back up hamburger-wise and tucking it carefully in my jacket pocket. “It’s just something I was reading—thanks for pointing it out, I wouldn’t want it to get blown away by the wind...”

“You’re welcome... Ah, ‘no problem’.”

I snickered. “Don’t feel like you have to adopt more casual speech—unless you really want to. Oh—but I can teach you some more expressions?”

“Hmm...” He was letting his heels bounce off the wall as he lightly swung his legs. “Maybe you’re right—it’s better to just be myself.” He was quiet for a second. “Takumi?”

“Yeah?”

He peered up at me. “The ‘other me’ is there with you, right?”

“Yeah—well, technically, there are two of you with me.” I touched a hand over my heart. “Though the first one is just by proxy...” Huh... I wonder why two different Shions didn’t show up in my waking dream? Maybe because they were both of the same mind, and not two totally different people like Eito... It was a comforting thought.

“I see... It’s comforting to know that my other selves trusted you unconditionally.” Shion smiled like someone completely at peace.

“You can feel them?”

“Yes... Can you give me your hand for a moment?” He held his palm up.

I was expecting him to hold his palm out flat, but he lightly clasped our fingers together. His hand was really warm, like a hot stone in a sauna...

He closed his eyes... “Hm.” He had a small smile. “It’s encouraging... Oh.” His eyes opened. “I see... So that’s what you meant by ‘love’ and ‘hate’...”

I rolled my eyes. “Great—you can feel those guys, too?”

“Haha... I suppose you can put it that way.” His fingers clasped mine snugly. “It’s more like I can feel their emotions... It’s interesting.” He laughed lightly.

“‘Interesting’ is one way to put it...”

“Hmm...” His hand was almost a little too hot, but I bore with it. “It feels complicated... I’ve never felt such conflicting emotions like that.”

“Honestly, Shion—I hope you never feel that way towards anyone. Or anything.”

His calm smile looked somewhat sad. “You think so? Even negative feelings like sadness and resentment are human...”

A light breeze blew over the rooftop.

“I guess that’s true...” He said something like that at the festival, in my second timeline... “After all, sadness is a human emotion... The fact that I feel sad for having to say goodbye to all of you proves that I’m human...” Ugh...

“Takumi?”

I wiped my eye. “Sorry—you’re right. Hah... feeling sad is proof that you’re human, and alive.” I said that, but I still felt embarrassed.

“Are you getting tired, Takumi?”

“No—I’m fine.” I tried to smile. “I had some tea earlier, so I’m not particularly tired.”

“I see.” His smile returned. “Then—would you like to sit out here with me until I fall asleep? My avatar will just disappear then.”

“Oh—sure.” I finally let go of his hand. My palm did feel pretty hot, but it didn’t actually burn...

We sat at the edge overlooking the quiet schoolyard for who knows how long, talking about this and that... Shion was excited to hear about even mundane aspects of life in the Tokyo Residential Complex. I felt a little conflicted about telling him things like that, knowing that I’d someday have to reveal those same things as a lie... But I decided something my second time around. My memories with Karua, and my Mom and Dad—those were all precious to me. They informed me of who I am—even if the initial seed was planted in my mind while I was developing, I have no doubt my interactions with them were all my own. Those memories would always bring me comfort. I’m sure the others felt the same—well, most of them. Some of us had been given better memories than others... I guess that was all the more reason to tell them as soon as I felt everyone was ready, so they could start making decisions on who they really are, and who they really want to be.

百

“... Shion?”

His eyes didn’t open. “I’m listening.”

At some point, he had laid his head on my shoulder. His flames had cooled to a glowing aura around him, and I wasn’t afraid of getting burned at all.

“... this reminds me of when I was growing up.” His voice was soft. “Well, figuratively-speaking... but when Mr. Sirei would talk to me in my pod. I couldn’t see him at the time, I could only hear his voice... But it helped me gain a sense of ‘self’. Sirei really helped me in a lot of ways...” I could hear his voice wavering. “I suppose... I do know what ‘resentment’ feels like, a little. Even someone born into a wretched position like mine doesn’t deserve to be used as a weapon, raised to believe they’re disposable—”

“—of course not.” I quickly rubbed his back. “You are your own person—and you don’t have to do what Sirei says just because he’s the one that raised you.” I couldn’t help but glance around through the fence... I was always paranoid that Sirei was watching and listening and could pop up at any moment, or he had hidden devices littered all around the school...

“... Is this what they call ‘filial piety’? Haha... I suppose it’s a very Japanese concept.”

I wonder what the Futuran culture is around respecting your elders... they did have pretty strict religious tenets, but as far as social practices... it was hard to say. We still didn’t know very much, not even my second time around...

“You’re allowed to be grateful to your parents, but also draw boundaries... The same is true of any relationship.” I gently rubbed his back—it felt like I was comforting my little brother after he came into my room after waking up from a nightmare.

“‘Boundaries’... I suppose when it comes to destroying all life on the planet, it’s a little more firm than a boundary.”

“I guess it is...”

The small tendrils of his flames twisted in the wind before dissipating.

“Shion...” I pursed my lips. I’d already made one irresponsible promise today, so... “I don’t want to get your hopes up... but this time around, I want to find a way to save you. So you can walk around and finally grow up—there must be a way.” I scratched his back—I wonder if he can feel it? “You were born from a mother just like every other child—there must have been a way for you to survive in the open air without your flames consuming you. There’s just so much we don’t understand about hemoanima...”

“... That is true. Hemoanima is a mysterious force... one might say that it’s omnipotent, given its many diverse uses even just among our team. Did you know that cryptoglobin originates in an extra-dimensional pocket called ‘bloodspace’?”

“No—I didn’t know that.” A smile spread on my face. “Did you catch it? You said ‘our team’.”

“Oh—I did. It just came out so easily...” He laughed lightly. “... Takumi, thank you.” His wispy hair looked like it was caught on the end of his eyelashes. “I don’t want to put undue pressure on you—even if there is no way to save my life past these hundred days, I’m still grateful to you for all you’ve done. And all you will do... I’m sure I’ll never forget you.”

I rested my cheek on top of his head, and the flames felt like a hot stone... “That reminds me—we have to go to the library and look up ‘the language of flowers’. Sirei gave us a hint, right?” I hope that wasn’t giving it away...

“Oh, yes... Let’s do that...” His responses were becoming slower, as a comforting blanket of deep blue spread across the star-laden sky... Eventually, his avatar quietly disappeared, still leaving behind a warmth that proved he was there.

百

百

百

I actually really liked writing Eito’s poem, trying to get inside his mind. I do like the more casual approach to Takumi’s first-person narration, but it can be a bit limiting, so it was fun to let loose a little lol. Poor Eito D’X

I think I prefer the rhythm of shorter chapters with more frequent updates :) I can’t promise that pace will always last, but I’m still enjoying spending time in this world, which keeps me going :3

I’m curious what you guys’ opinion is on twunk Eito with abs? 😂 Like seriously, when did he find the time? If it was up to me, he’d just be slender and more effeminate... but that’s just my type 🤭🫣

Lol I jazzed up the tags a little—I’ve been giggling to myself at the stupid juxtaposition of “Homoerotic Psychological Thriller Mind-games” and “Romantic Comedy”—but that’s not inaccurate, is it? X’D I’ve also added some tags based on y’all’s comments, like “Right in the Kokoro” ^_^ It’s fun being on the ground while the fandom is new and buzzing with excitement, usually I’m years late or just quietly playing these games at home, and it’s not something even my other nerdy friends are into X’D I’m really not a social media person, I’m lucky that my sister and my best friend tolerate me going on about these unwell anime boys that I love so much, even though they have no context lol. But it is nice to get to talk to folks who understand ^_^

Speaking of unwell—that “Coming-of-Age” route, girls! So that’s the source of that out-of-context sparkly “Love and peace!” Eito screenshot I kept seeing X’D Good Lord—at first I didn’t like that they literally just brainwashed Eito (didn’t like it when they did that to Eva either, and I was still conflicted about it in the S.F. route), so in a morbid way I appreciated that it didn’t work in the end lol. I said this in the comments, but when Takumi approached Eito while they were all watching fireworks to let him know how relieved he was that he didn’t have to suffer from his cognitive disorder anymore, and Eito froze up and literally said his classic sus line, “You really are a nice guy, Takumi...” I was like, “YOU FUCKER, I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING IT!!” D’X The two ultimate endings were very Eito—provoking Takumi into a duel to the death, and saying something he probably meant sincerely cloaked in a layer of sarcasm, even though Takumi wasn’t able to (or refused) to pick it up; and the “I don’t need anyone else” Eito being defeated by the Power of Friendship, and choosing to k!ll himself instead of suffering their company for one more second... then admitting right at the end that the only time he was ever happy in his life was fighting alongside Takumi... It’s just damn sad and pathetic, it really shows how desperately lonely Eito is, and how he’s completely incapable of even admitting it to himself, let alone reaching out sincerely. At least, that version of Eito...

I’m glad that Hiruko brought up that there was a Baby Jar in the CoA route while jumping around in S.F., so I went to go check it out—I think it might be my second favorite after “Farewell” (although bisexual polycule “Hope from Despair” is a close contender lol). And Shion saying that being able to give his life made him glad he was born D’X (Sorry, I’m more used to Shion than calling him FB) Ugh my sweet boy, everything with Shion just hits me right in the kokoro lol

I’ll talk more about the S.F. route when we get to the timeline-jumping ;) Ehehe I’m really happy with the fleshed-out outline, but there is still room for spontaneity... teehee 🤭

Thanks for reading as always, see ya next time~

Chapter Text

Chapter 10 – Skeleton on Fire

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Day 11 – Nighttime

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“... I’m sorry for dipping out on you last night.” I snugly clasped Eito’s hand. “What I had to do was important though, so... You have my undivided attention now.” I laughed a bit, but that came out more forward than I intended...

“Oh, dear... Haha...” He wormed his fingers through mine. “I wonder what I should ask you to do to make it up to me? It was quite lonely in that cold room last night, aha...”

“... Just keep it within reason, please.” I was scarred for life by Yugamu’s weird “requests”...

“Hehe...” He laughed lightly—it sounded different from his normal disingenuous laughter. “Well... Will you stay even after the nighttime announcement?”

... I wanted to. Ugh, it was embarrassing how much I wanted to stay last night, but—the idea of being anywhere near that pod just...

I firmly twined our fingers. “Let’s go to my room.”

Eito was quiet for a second. “That nosy commanding officer of yours won’t barge in? Aha... I’d rather not leave the door propped open with a rock, if possible.” I was shocked to hear him say something so bold...

My heart was already beating hard just suggesting it, I was worried he could feel it in my palm... “It’ll be fine.” I led him back through the quiet schoolyard, and his hand felt really warm in mine...

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Earlier that morning...

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Everyone was transfixed as Kurara slowly stirred the ladle in the pot, the unimaginably mouth-watering aroma of Oosuzuki curry wafting through the cafeteria...

“Aw, man...” Gaku was drooling openly. “I can practically taste it—hey Takumi, we really have to wait until lunch?!”

“Well, you heard Kurara—her curry needs that precious time to marinate to its full bloom...” Although it was getting a little torturous for me to smell it and not taste it, too...

“Hmph. Even peasants like you must be familiar with the term, ‘You can’t rush perfection’?” Kurara stirred the ladle agonizing slowly, lovingly, cherishing each action...

Eito had his leg crossed under the table, a hollow smile plastered on his face. “It does indeed smell wonderful—I hope you all enjoy it.”

“Oh...” I didn’t even think about that... obviously Oosuzuki curry wasn’t vegetarian-friendly...

“Ha!” Kurara thrust out her arm like an anime villain, leveling her tomato gaze right at Eito. “You should bow and weep before my feet like the wriggling worms that you are—for I’ve used my genius to prepare a batch of Oosuzuki curry that is completely free of animal products—even yoghurt and honey!” She folded her arms proudly, her long sleeves falling around her regally. “I call it—the Pseu-Oosuzuki curry!” That was quite a mouthful...

“Uh... ‘Suoh’? Like Susano-o no Mikoto?”

“No, you fools!” Kurara shook her fist. “‘Pseu’ as in ‘pseudo’! For not even my honorable ancestors have ever thought to concoct such a daring twist on our prized recipe!” She folded her arms with satisfied finality.

Eito had an interesting look on his face... he almost looked touched, but also frozen and not sure what to say. “... I see. Well... thank you for your consideration, Miss Oosuzuki.”

“Urgh! Don’t call me that, worm—you sound like that backwater hick Kyoshika!”

“Oh, but Lady Kurara—the river flowed around the eastern edge of my village, not the back!”

“Hrrrnggh—!” Kurara’s fists were shaking in anger, her tomato-head heating up... “Quiet!!” She angrily turned back to her curry pot. “—It wasn’t for you that I modified this special recipe, anyway!” The expression on her mask was hidden from view. “... It was for Shouma.” She said it so quietly, I wasn’t sure if I even heard it.

My eyes flicked down the table to Shouma—he must not have heard it either, he was just happily eating his little apple slices cut with rabbit ears...

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“How do you feel?”

Shion smiled brightly. “I can’t wait to meet everyone... I suppose you’d call this ‘excitement’ rather than ‘nervousness’...”

“I’m glad to hear you say that.” I bent my legs up, resting my arms on my knees. “I can’t believe we got Sirei on board, too.”

“Haha...” Shion’s flames flickered a little more brightly. “You know... I have a sneaking suspicion that the real Mr. Sirei has been taking control of his avatar more and more.” He gave me a knowing smile. “When he blurted out, ‘Shion, don’t even joke about something like that!’...” He touched his hand over his heart. “It felt like the Mr. Sirei who raised me... who drunkenly ranted about his day to me while I was floating in my pod, haha...”

“Geez...” I pushed my hair off my forehead. “Well—that might actually work out in our favor.”

“You think so, too?” Shion smiled. “The AI Sirei can’t defy his programming... but the real Mr. Sirei is human just like you and me, so if we can appeal to his heart...” I felt a little conflicted hearing Shion refer to both of us as “human”—but no way was I going to contradict him.

“Exactly—we may not have to get rid of Sirei, if we’re up against the real deal.”

Shion blinked, his feathery eyelashes almost sticking together. “Well... I know what I said yesterday about feeling ‘conflicted’...” He did something I’ve never seen before—sit cross-legged. “But... If possible, I want Sirei to be on our side.”

“I understand... Well, I’ll do my best, but you probably know better than anyone what a stubborn old man he can be...” I rubbed my chin. “Hey—what does the real Mr. Sirei look like, anyway?”

Shion’s eyes went to the side. “Hmm... Well, I’m not entirely sure. My real body can’t see very well—I haven’t developed past the stage of a newborn baby, after all.”

“I see...” I hugged my knees. I should’ve known better than to ask a question like that... “Well... I don’t know if this is actually what he looks like, but—there’s a Commander who can cause visual hallucinations through sound waves, and in those hallucinations Sirei and Nigou both looked human—Mr. Sirei looked like a middle-aged dandy with coifed blonde hair, and Nigou... looked very cute and professional.”

“Hmm...” Shion contemplated with a finger at his chin. “Well, I do know that the real Nigou is younger than Mr. Sirei—one time when he was visiting me, he kept saying something like, ‘What am I thinking... Nigou’s practically half my age! I feel like such a dirty old man...’” Oh, my... Well, I could’ve gone my whole life without hearing about “Mom and Dad’s” private business...

[A/N: This was brought up in the comments, and I have more info from the future, now that the wikis are more complete and we have more creator interviews. I initially thought Nigou was meant to be an effeminate/gender non-conforming man who prefers to wear the women’s uniform, since the dub is pretty cool about gender stuff and it’s safe to assume they wouldn’t misgender Nigou on purpose with he/him. (The luscious lips are a bit of a bara stereotype, and at the start of the “Conspiracy” route, Takemaru accidentally punches Nigou and apologizes for hitting a woman, and Nigou just says, “Oh, but I’m not a woman!”) But it’s since come to my attention that in the original Japanese, Nigou is never referred to with gendered language at all, and some sources state that Nigou is meant to be X-gender, and the localization team debated for a while how to properly express that in English. They/them would seem like the best choice, but that isn’t quite the same as being X-gender, so in the end they just went with “he” for the dub, which is what I’ll be sticking with. I’ve just gotten used to the idea of human Nigou being a cute femboy XD But the point Takumi’s trying to make is that between the two of them, Nigou definitely has more “Mom” energy ☺️]

“I see...”

“Oh, Takumi?” Shion looked up at me with big, innocent eyes. “What does ‘dandy’ mean, in that context?” When the others meet Shion, I hope they won’t kill me for filling his head with junk...

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‘Ding dong, bong bing!’

“Hellooo to all you young people out there, fighting the good fight at Last Defense Academy!” Sirei winked from the monitor, actually appearing to be broadcasting live instead of playing a recording. “I have a special announcement this morning—all students, please assemble in the cafeteria at twelve-hundred hours sharp! We have a new transfer student here to our fair academy, so be sure to give him a warm welcome!” Huh? “I hope you’re prepared for an unforgettable luncheon!” The announcement blinked out.

“What?” Shion and I looked at each other. “How did he know...?”

“Oh—you didn’t ask Sirei to make that announcement, Takumi?”

“I didn’t!” I couldn’t help but peer around me... Just how much was that little gremlin watching me?!

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Sirei was already waiting in the cafeteria, standing on top of the table with his little cane, looking right pleased with himself. “Sumino! Good of you to run right down here posthaste like a disciplined soldier—care to MC our special guest’s entrance when the others get here?” He sparkled.

“... You’re really okay with it?”

“What—do you want me to change my mind?”

“No—” I willed myself to relax, realizing I was all tensed up. “—no... thank you, Sirei. I know this will mean a lot to him.”

“Hrm...” Sirei grumbled to himself, crossing his stubby little arms. Where did his cane disappear to when he did that... “Well—I only agreed to it because it’d be good for morale! There’s no place to all hold hands and sing Kumbaya on the battlefield—just remember that!”

I smiled. “I will—thank you.”

I heard the doors clattering open—Nigou was trying to shuffle in backwards while carrying a little pink cake. “Honorable Sirei, sir—where would you like me to place the—wah!” He almost dropped the plate. “Mr. Sumino—I didn’t know you were here!”

Ugh—was someone barbecuing meat in here? It feels like I got smoke in my eyes...

百

“Transfer student? Is there a Third-to-Last Defense Academy we’re not aware of?”

There was a light murmur around the cafeteria—the mood was carrying a bit more apprehension than I would’ve liked, but—I just had to tell myself that everyone would be excited to meet Shion once they saw him. I had to channel my inner Gaku and be the “mood-maker” for this one...

Kurara was in the kitchen with her arms crossed, waiting to dole out both batches of her Oosuzuki and Pseu-Oosuzuki curry...

I stood up and lightly cleared my throat. “Ahem—everyone?” The murmur quieted down, and all eyes turned to me. “I want to introduce you all to our new transfer student—well, I say that, but he’s really been with us all this time.” I smiled. “He’s the one we’ve been protecting in the Defense Room, who creates the Undying Flames that keep our school safe...” I gently pushed open the cafeteria door, and felt the warmth of Shion’s flames spill in from the other side. “His name is Shion.”

He calmly walked into the cafeteria, his flames flickering. I could see that his face looked a bit stiff, and he bit his lip briefly before relaxing.

“Hello, everyone...” His gentle voice echoed in my head, as well as everyone else’s. “It’s nice to meet you... You may just call me Shion, please.” He made a little bow, his hands poised on his legs.

Everyone was staring in wide-eyed amazement.

“That’s him?!” Tsubasa was the first to speak. “Wow—amazing!! How do you make the Undying Flames like that?!”

“Whoa—he’s so warm, like a real fire!” Moko was already walking over. “That’s awesome—hey, how come you’re able to not get burned? Is it ‘cause you make the flames yourself?”

“Woow... He’s so pretty...” Kako’s eyes were sparkling—could it be, a spring awakening?!

“Kako?!” Ima looked like he passed away on his feet...

“Haah...” Gaku grumbled to himself. “Great, another pretty boy... What am I supposed to do with that, huh?! I feel like just a background character...”

“Ehehe...” Yugamu had that worrying glint in his eye. “How unbearably cute... You know that feeling when you see a tiny dog, and you don’t know whether you want to cuddle or crush it?”

“That’s just you, dude!!”

“Ha—so that was you I saw Takumi sneakin’ off with!” Takemaru laughed loudly, clapping Shion on the back without reservation. “Oh—” He quickly withdrew his hand, staring wide-eyed at his palm.

“Oh—don’t worry, you won’t get burned from my flame!” Shion quickly put his hand over his heart. “I’ve gotten better at regulating my temperature... Um... it’s not too hot, is it?”

Takemaru eyed him in wonder behind his sunglasses. “Nah, man... Actually, standin’ next to ya is pretty nice, like bein’ right in front of the sauna stones...” Takemaru closed his eyes.

“Really?” Shion smiled shyly. “I see... Well, that’s comforting to hear.” He laughed lightly.

That did it—his shy laugh and smile instantly made everyone fall in love with him.

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“Can you touch objects, too?” Tsubasa was taking notes. “Can your flame be used to melt metals?”

“Well—I can touch objects if I concentrate...” His eyes flicked to me through the crowd of people surrounding him. “I suppose I can melt metals, if I wish to. Oh—but I won’t accidentally melt anything by touching it, I have to focus my energy... Normally my flames only affect organic matter.”

“Wow...” Tsubasa was scribbling away in her notebook. “So the flames aren’t the result of combustion, but they’re a manifestation of your hemoanima?”

“Yes—that’s how I’m able to communicate with all of you.” He smiled gently. “It’s thanks to Takumi’s hemoanima being able to resonate with mine that you can all hear me.”

“Whoa... that’s pretty cool.”

“So you’ve been able to hear him this whole time, Takumi?”

“Yeah...” I smiled a bit sheepishly. I was trying to hang back from the crowd so everyone else could ask Shion questions... ugh, I really did feel like a doting parent watching my kid like a hawk at the playground.

The others all seemed pretty stoked on the new “transfer student”—even Ima, though he looked like he mostly wanted to make sure he was standing between Shion and his smitten sister. The only ones hanging back from the crowd were me and Eito, and Gaku stewing at the corner of the table that Shion was another “pretty boy”, apparently... I wonder if he’d feel bad for having such a sour grapes attitude if he knew that Shion was really a small and fragile baby, who wasn’t even able to open his eyes all the way...

“So... that’s the person you were talking about.” Eito’s hands were hidden in the front pockets of his jacket. “I thought I heard a voice inside my head, when that huge flame appeared in the gym... I didn’t realize there was a person talking from the center of it.” He smiled down at me. “You did beat me rather senseless, Takumi! Aha...”

“Haah...” I folded my arms on top of the table. “Well, if you want to get technical—I didn’t do that. I came back on the third night, remember?”

“Of course, Takumi... But that was still you.” His smile looked just a little unsettling. “Just a you from a hundred days prior, right?”

“... I guess that’s true.” I don’t like the way he said it, though... It was like he knew something I didn’t.

Eito just moved on like he didn’t say something vaguely ominous, rubbing his chin. “Takumi—what does the person in the center of the flame look like to you?”

“His name is Shion—and he looks just like you, me, or anyone else.” I tried to catch a glimpse of Shion between everyone’s jostling shoulders. “If you want me to get specific... He has wavy silver hair and pale skin, although with the constant reflection of his flames his skin almost looks purple.” Shion’s eyes closed in a smile while something someone said made him laugh—ugh, my heart. “And his eyes are two different colors—white and pink.”

“Different colors, you say?” Eito had a laugh to his tone... “Well, heterochromia isn’t a very common condition in humans, is it?” I really don’t like the way he said that...

“Urgh—don’t bother trying to downplay it, Takumi! He looks like a peacock, man!” Gaku was practically in tears. “Look at those long eyelashes! Agh—the girls are just gonna go crazy for him, I know it!” Apparently in his tiny mind, Yugamu counted as a girl, too...

“I don’t think peacocks have eyelashes...”

“No duh!! I’m talkin’ about the thing on their heads!” Gaku demonstratively pointed his palm out the back of his head. “You know—the fluttery things! That dude’s eyelashes look just like that!”

... They kind of do, now that he said it. I can’t unsee it...

“Oh.” I turned back up to Eito. “What does he look like to you?”

He rubbed his chin. “He doesn’t really look like anything. To be honest, I can’t even see a hideous human at the center of that flame—it’s almost like a distortion.”

“I see...” Well... that was kind of odd. From what I remember, even Eva looked like a “hideous monster” to him, since they looked so similar to humans...

Eito smiled down at me. “I couldn’t help but overhear Takemaru saying ‘this must be the guy Takumi snuck off with.’” Uhh... “Haha... Knowing my sweet little Skeletakumi, you were probably trying to encourage our new ‘transfer student’ so he was more comfortable meeting everyone today...” Umm... your what?? “Well, I suppose I’ll forgive you for ditching me, then—this time.” He looked straight ahead, his hands hidden in his pockets.

I was just dumbfounded—gooped and gagged, as Karua might say.

“Haha—your skeleton is smoking like a barbecue, Takumi...”

“—I don’t need the play-by-play, you know.” It took all my willpower not to bury my face like an ostrich in the sand...

百

“Kneel and praise your betters, peasants!” Kurara brandished the ladle like a dominatrix with a riding crop. “For you are bearing witness to history in the making—the first taste-test of Pseu-Oosuzuki curry!”

Shouma took a small bite, his eyes turned up in contemplation while he chewed. “... ooh!” He clutched his rosy cheeks. “This is sublime, Chef Kurara!” His black eyes were practically sparkling. “I can taste the tender loving care you put into making this dish... the spice is married perfectly with the sweetness, and the sauce has a creamy thickness which gently caresses the fluffy rice... the veggies are tender with a satisfying crunch... it’s truly wonderful.” He touched his heart. “Who knew curry could taste this good without meat?”

“Kyohoho—but of course! What else were you expecting?” Her tomato-head smirked widely like a jack-o-lantern.

“Gimme some!” Darumi shot off her seat, pawing for the ladle. “I wanna try the hippie meatless one—they say girls who don’t eat meat taste different!”

“—pbbt!” Takemaru did a spit-take into his soda.

“... Well, that is true.” Hiruko calmly pushed up her glasses. Uhh—what now?!

“You may rejoice, for there is plenty of my almighty curry to go around, for each person’s preference.” Kurara ladled some of the vegan one onto Darumi’s fluffy rice.

“Nyohoho—I can’t wait.” Darumi was practically drooling, then she looked up at Hiruko as if she was waiting for a command.

Hiruko smirked to herself. “Be a good girl and wait until everyone else has been served to start eating.” She unfolded her napkin, setting it in her lap. “And be sure to use your utensils this time, doggie.”

“Arf!”

I was actually pretty curious, too... “Kurara? Is it all right if I try a bit of both? I’ll take a smaller portion, to keep it fair...”

“I’d like to try both as well.” Yugamu grinned at me from across the table. “You know what they say...” Haah... I don’t think it works that way for guys. Well, maybe... I can’t say I’ve ever gone there on either “mouth down south” before... “Oh, my—have my words stimulated your imagination too much, Takumi? Ehehe... your blushing face is so cute.”

Eito had a terrifying smile next to me. “Kurara, if you wouldn’t mind serving those of us for whom your special curry was intended first—perhaps anyone simply ‘curious’ can have whatever scraps are left.” Please don’t start...

“Hrngh—who are you to give me orders?!” Kurara angrily ladled out Hiruko’s curry next—she took the meaty one. “You’ll take what I serve you, and like it!!” The mouth on her mask crushed to a thin line after that—she probably realized how ridiculous that sounded, since she literally made it special for him...

In no time at all, everyone was served, and even Darumi managed to not dig in until everyone was plated up...

Kurara pressed her palms together. “Thank me for the food.” It sounded less like a blessing, and more like a command...

“Thank you for the food!”

“Looks good—I can’t wait!”

Shion smiled at everyone as they dug into their curry, watching their faces light up as they were overwhelmed by the bold yet delicate flavor...

Tsubasa covered her mouth, while she quickly chewed and swallowed her bite. “—you can’t eat food like that, huh, Shion?” Her brows sloped a bit. “I’m sorry—I hope you don’t feel left out!”

“Oh, no—I love watching everyone else.” His smile was so radiant... “You all look like you’re enjoying yourselves so much... I can feel your happiness as you eat such lovingly-prepared food, I don’t feel that I’m missing out at all.”

Tears and snot were pouring down Takemaru’s face... “Too pure for this world—hey, turn the burner off!! This damn smoke’s gettin’ in my eyes...”

“Hm?” Shion floated up and into the kitchen. “Oh—but the burner isn’t on?”

“Wah!”

“He can fly?!”

“Oh...” Shion smiled shyly, hanging in the air. “Yes—I suppose I can. Haha...”

百

“How was the curry?”

“It was quite delicious.” Eito smiled at me. “I suppose I don’t blame her for being so arrogantly proud of it. I’d even ask for seconds, but—” Kurara instantly ladled more onto his plate. “Oh—erm, thank you, Kurara...”

“Hmph.” She tapped the ladle on her shoulder, like a girl gang boss with a kendo sword... “Don’t any of you commoners dare be shy about asking for seconds—who wouldn’t want my brilliant creation to line their bellies?”

Eito pushed up his glasses. “Well...” He whispered quietly to me. “I only hesitated since Nigou was about to bring out dessert...” For some reason, his soft whispering voice almost gave me goosebumps...

“Heave... ho!” Nigou jumped up onto the table, the little pink cake bouncing a bit on the plate. “Ohoho—I hope you all have room for dessert!” He smiled brightly.

“Oh...” Shion leaned over the table, peering down at the cake... In messy purple frosting letters, it read ‘Welcome, Shion!’... “Nigou... did you make this cake?”

“I did!” He sparkled. “With my own two hands, ohoho!”

“—ah.” One of Shion’s eyes closed in a wince.

“Oh, dear—are you all right, Mr. Shion?!”

“Yes, haha...” He smiled shyly, his eye still closed. “It’s a little embarrassing... when my real body gets teary-eyed in my pod, the fluid I’m in stings my eyes a little...”

The cafeteria was quiet.

“... Your real body?” Gaku piped up from the end of the table. “You mean—you don’t really look like that?”

“Ah, no.” Shion smiled shyly. “Even though I’m around the same age as all of you, my body is unable to develop properly because of my power... I still resemble a newborn baby. Apparently, I don’t even have any hair, haha...”

Every eye at the table looked dewy. Gaku’s cap cast a shadow low over his eyes...

“Then I think it’s a miracle that you’re able to talk with all of us like this.” Nozomi smiled brightly. “Hemoanima really is mysterious, isn’t it?”

Even Shion looked taken aback. “Ah—yes.” His smile returned. “It truly is...”

Poor Nigou was still holding the cake, little tears in his beady eyes... “Oh, Mr. Shion...” He set down the plate.

A glint flashed in the ceiling—“Hi-YAAH!” Sirei flew down from the rafters, poised with a knife as his headband and little happi fluttered behind him... he smoothly cut the cake in half with one fluid motion, then wiped the knife on his sleeve, sheathing it in an invisible hilt. “Hohoho—and that’s how it’s done!”

“Waah! Sir!” Tears were flying out of Nigou’s eyes. “I told you to warn me before you descended from on high to cut the cake!”

“Oh, quit your blubbering, Nigou!” Sirei slapped his back. “Show some backbone—are you my second-in-command, or aren’t you?!”

“Wah...”

“Sheesh...” Sirei pat Nigou’s back with his tiny hand. “Fine, fine—since I’m such a brute, why don’t you cut a slice each for the kids?” Given the tea Shion spilled to me about Sirei earlier, I couldn’t help but get a different meaning from him calling us all “the kids”...

百

“This cake is delicious, Nigou—it reminds me of a clotted cream strawberry sandwich at a tea party!” Nozomi was truly in heaven—I knew she liked strawberry shortcake, I even saw the logs in the Gift-O-Matic of her sneaking it in the middle of the night...

“Ohoho—thank you, Miss Kirifuji!” Nigou beamed. “Oh! Honorable Sirei, sir—perhaps I can blend up some of this cake so that Mr. Shion may have some in his pod?”

“That won’t work, Nigou!” Sirei lightly bonked him on the head, and one of Nigou’s little eyes closed. “That stuff’s highly specialized, medical-grade nutritional supplement! You can’t just shove any old thing through those delicate tubes!”

“Oh, my...” Yugamu snickered, stabbing a strawberry with his own knife. “So that’s how you eat, Shion... ehehe, it’s too bad you can’t just shove any old thing through those delicate little tubes...”

“Yugamu—please.” I pressed my palm to my forehead. “That was a bit much even for you, don’t you think?”

Shion laughed lightly. “I appreciate the consideration—but I get all the nutrients I need from my pod, so there’s no need to worry.” He was so innocent, it just went right over his head... At least, I hope to God so...

“Oh...” Yugamu wilted like a flower. “So pure... for the love of murder... I don’t know what to do in this situation... ehehehehe...” His unnerving laugh continued without end, a worrying flush dominating his face...

百

The whole day, everyone kept pulling Shion in different directions—I was a bit worried that he’d get overwhelmed, but when I saw his eyes widen with excitement at each new thing the others wanted to show him or ask him about... I was finally able to relax, and put away my Worried Dad pants. He seemed truly happy—his world had never been so bright and big. That was all I wanted, really...

“I suppose I’m not surprised.” Eito still had his hands in his jacket pockets. “You are the type to needlessly worry about others...”

“I’m going to choose to take that as a compliment.” I shielded my eyes from the bright sunlight, watching the volleyball game from the front courtyard.

Kyoshika set the ball to Shion... he floated up and spiked it down to the other side, putting a flaming spin on it. The others all shouted and cheered in surprise—except Gaku, who shouted, “That’s cheating!!”

“Geez...” I laughed to myself—it even looked like Gaku had accepted him, however begrudgingly. That was good... really good. This couldn’t have gone better...

I almost flinched in surprise—some silky hair was brushing my face as Eito laid his head on my shoulder... He had to dip pretty far down in his camping chair to do it. “Don’t mind me, Takumi—I’m just recharging on you.” I turned my face just enough—his eyelashes weren’t “peacock” length, but they were still pretty long... “Having to suffer such a lengthy meal in a room full of hideous creatures all shouting in my ear was quite taxing.”

“... I’m sorry.” I reached around to rub his back. “Thank you for putting up with it... It means a lot to me that you were there.”

He sighed. “Well, I wouldn’t have bothered if you weren’t there.”

“I know...” I scratched the top of his back above the chair. My nails were still pretty short...

“Hmm...” Why did it feel like if Eito was a cat, that would be a purr... “Takumi, if I take my jacket off, can you scratch my back like that?”

“Sure...” My eyes flicked to the others playing volleyball. I mean—at this point there was literally no mystery left, this guy declared in front of everyone that he was going to make me fall in love with him. Oh, wait, what am I saying—I made a deal with myself to remember that that was just a dream, or else I’d never be able to look anyone here in the eye again. How silly of me.

Eito sat up straight, his ribcage popping out as he peeled his jacket off over his head. I mean—I wasn’t looking, I was just spacing out while faced in that direction...

He caught me and gave me a smirk. “You don’t have to sneak peeks, Takumi—I’ll show you whenever you want.” Ugh—why did it feel like he was teasing me even more than usual today?

“Good to know...” I tried to put a sarcastic inflection on it, but he just smiled like a fool as if I said it sincerely... ugh.

“Hmm...” He shocked me to my core by laying his head in my lap, his hands tucked under his face. His long torso was bent at practically a 90-degree angle to the side, and he snuggled into my lap until he was comfortable... was this guy literally a cat in his previous life?!

I licked my lips out of habit, reaching to smooth the wrinkles on the back of his shirt, pulling down the hem to get a better canvas—gah, I mean... well... haah. Guess there was no point being shy at this stage...

I started scratching my short nails between his shoulder blades, from one side the other... then I dragged my nails down his long back and up again, in a gentle rhythm...

“Hmmm...” If he was a cat, he’d definitely be purring...

I smoothed the wrinkles that formed on his shirt with my palm, feeling the warmth of his back... I was barely doing anything, but my heartbeat started to pick up a bit...

百

I kept looking up from my book to watch the entrance to the library.

“You can relax, Takumi.” Eito was still reading his book across from me. “That one’s impossible to miss, after all.”

I set the bookmark on the page about the language of flowers. “Can I tell you something? It’s about your other self—the one who wore dark glasses.”

His eyes closed. “Go ahead.” He set the color-changing bookmark I gave him, gently closing the book.

“Well—it’s not anything heavy. Just...” I couldn’t help but feel that this might be counter-productive, like I was putting too much pressure on it. “I just wanted you to know that he got really close to Shion, in my second timeline. Especially towards the end... Shion was helping him learn braille, and he even read books out loud for him. Just...” Eito’s non-reaction while I talked was discouraging... “I’d appreciate it if you could keep an open mind, is all.”

He gave me a somewhat tired smile. “Well—I can easily tell you why that was.” He set his book on the table. “He doesn’t look like anything, he doesn’t smell like anything—and his voice sounds like it’s talking right into my mind.” He pointed at his ear, but it looked eerily like he was pointing a gun at his head... “Since it’s all hemoanima, it bypasses my ears and the part of my brain that processes things wrong.”

“... I see.”

Eito laughed lightly. “What’s that look for, Takumi? Doesn’t that make perfect sense?”

“It does... So why are you still being a dick with the way you talk about him?”

He looked right into my eyes with an unnervingly neutral smile. “I apologize, Takumi—that’s just the way I am.”

I couldn’t help but look away. Yeah... that is the way he is. I know that all too well...

“Haha...” He picked his book up again. “I suppose if I keep being jealous over every one of your little friends, it’ll only drive you away from me...” He opened his book, tucking the bookmark in the jacket sleeve. “I’m sorry, Takumi.” He didn’t look up at me. “It’s not easy for me to change my entire worldview overnight... That every other human alive is my enemy. Disgusting, irredeemable creatures that deserve nothing but extinction... Every single person I’ve ever had the misfortune of sharing space with is just a waste of oxygen who should just die.” He finally looked up at me, with a hollow, gentle smile. “You do understand that that’s something I sincerely believed for my entire life, right?”

“... I know.” Trust me... I couldn’t forget it if I tried.

He pushed his glasses up. “... Then thank you for being patient with me.” He said it so softly, I swore I must’ve misheard him. “Haha—that’s probably why my other self hated you so much! You’re too sincere and kind and cute, for a human—he probably didn’t know what to do! Haha...”

“Ugh... How you can say stuff like that with a straight face, I’ll never know...” It’s not like I needed him to tell me that...

“Takumi!”

“—wah!”

Shion phased right down through the ceiling. His flames were looking a little weaker—he must be tired, it probably took a lot of energy running around like that all day. “I’m here—I apologize, I hope I haven’t kept you waiting?”

“Oh, no—it’s okay.” I smiled, trying to smother my embarrassment at the wild thing Eito just said. “I kept you waiting last night, anyway...”

“Oh, no—I didn’t feel that way at all.” He settled into the chair next to me, floating right down into it. “The view of the night sky from that spot was quite lovely—it might be fun to take another leap to watch it with you soon, haha...” He said it so sincerely—I really hope “I’m just a jealous guy” Eito didn’t get all shitty about it.

“You know, Shion...” Eito lightly set his book on the table. “When you speak, I can actually hear it properly. Your hemoanima directly resonates with ours, right?”

I probably had a shocked look on my face, my eyebrows to the ceiling.

“Yes—that is how I theorize that I’m able to speak to you all like this.” Shion spoke a little formally, but he was at least looking at Eito. “Even creating this avatar is something I eventually learned to do on my own, by manipulating my hemoanima—there is still much out there that we don’t understand about it. It’s truly a mysterious power... capable of miracles.” He had a peaceful smile, his eyes closed. They really did look like peacock feathers...

“Hmm... ‘miracles’.” It was surreal hearing someone as scientific and un-spiritual as Eito even considering it. “Haha... perhaps you’re right.” ... Is he actually being sincere? I can’t tell... “After all, I’ve experienced miracles since coming here!” Please don’t say something like... “It was truly a miracle that I would grow to love a wretched human! Haha, I suppose I’ll just have to be greedy and ask for a second miracle that he’ll learn to love me in return...”

A cold wind blew through the library.

“You really think so?” Shion contemplated his words sincerely, his finger poised at his chin. “Don’t humans usually attribute a ‘miracle’ to something impossible by normal means?” His big eyes flicked up to Eito. “I don’t see what’s so impossible about that.”

The gentle library dust swirled through a golden beam of light, the setting sun pouring in through the western window.

“... Whelp—Shion, I’m going to have to use your power to go back in time again. I can’t be here anymore...”

“Takumi...” Eito laughed. “You can’t leave me behind... You heard it yourself, it’s not impossible!”

“Um... Takumi, why would you want to leave? Is something wrong?” Shion looked up at me with saucer-wide eyes—ugh, could I at least go back in time to before I said that and hurt his feelings?

“No...” I had to hide my eyes behind my hand. “I’m just joking... Sorry, it was a bad joke. I won’t say it again...”

“Oh—well, I’m relieved you don’t really feel that way...”

“Of course not—why would I want to leave when you finally got to meet everyone?” I managed to muster a smile. “I’m really happy for you—even a grump like this guy has a soft spot for you, and that’s a real miracle.” Ha—take that, Eito. Even you don’t have the guts to contradict me with Shion right here...

“Oh, dear...” Eito clutched his heart, looking distressed. “Takumi... How could you do this to me? Haha... There’s a fine line between ‘love’ and ‘hate’—but I’m sure you’re intimately familiar with that concept.” Ugh—this fucker—

“I am—there’s an equally fine line between ‘life’ and ‘death’.” I gave him a bright smile. “One day we’re here, the next we’re not... Sirei did inform you that I have a copy of your detonator, right?”

“Hm-hm...” Shion laughed softly. “You remind me of Sirei and Nigou—how does the expression go, ‘bickering like an old married couple’?” And then I passed away, and the timeline was ruined...

百

Shion’s flames were practically transparent now...

“Are you getting tired?”

“What?” He snapped back to the present. “Oh—I suppose I am.” Shion smiled sheepishly. “But, I feel tired in a good way—I can’t say that any of the days I’ve been alive so far felt as full as today.” He smiled sincerely. “It felt like the day went on forever.”

“I’m really glad to hear you say that.” I was slowly building a tolerance, so I didn’t want to cry every time Shion said something like that... “Well—here.” I opened the hanakotoba book to the page I had saved. “I just wanted to show you this before you go.” I turned the page towards him, with the photo of the delicate purple flower, round like a daisy with a crown of small petals.

“‘I won’t forget you.’” Shion lightly touched the page. “Do you think that’s what Sirei was thinking when he gave me this name?”

“I’m sure it was.” I smiled. “Although—Sirei never actually admitted to naming you himself.” I rolled my eyes. “The second time around, when we were trying to decide a name for you—Sirei suggested ‘Shion’ a little too quickly. So he gave it away that he already picked out that name for you, quietly in his heart.”

“I see.” Shion laughed lightly. “That is very much like him.”

Eito was quietly watching from across the table, like a Gramma watching her grandkids play in the yard from the porch.

“Um... Takumi?” Shion smiled shyly. “I’m sorry... Gaku actually told me what my name meant, in the language of flowers.” He did something I’ve never seen before—pushed his hair out of his eyes. “I hope my reaction wasn’t disappointing...”

“No—not at all.” I smiled tiredly. I was up a little later than I expected to be last night, it must be finally catching up to me. “I think it’s sweet that Gaku told you that, actually.”

“Yes—he pulled me aside after the volleyball game to tell me. Haha... I think he was a little embarrassed that he knew the language of flowers, he asked me not to tell anyone about it—but it’s just you, Takumi.”

“Haha—well, I won’t tell him.”

I was surprised, pleasantly, that Eito didn’t flare up with that jealous aura when Shion said, “But it’s just you, Takumi.” He was actually being pretty mature, just sitting there quietly listening.

“Well—if you’re tired, we can say ‘goodnight’ here, Shion.”

“Yes—I think I’d like to end my day on a high note before I wear myself out.” Shion laughed softly. “Thank you, Takumi... truly. Ah—” One of his eyes scrunched. “Haha... I was about to say something else, but perhaps I should keep it to myself.”

“Okay...”

His other eye scrunched. “Ah—well, I suppose it’s too late.” He laughed awkwardly. “Um... Thank you, Takumi.” He floated out of his chair, hovering over and wrapping his warm arms around me. His flames were glowing like a dying ember. “... I’ve never felt truly alive, before today. So thank you...” Ugh—how could I not cry too, hearing that?

“You’re welcome—I’m really happy for you.” I was glad we couldn’t see each other’s faces.

His arms slipped away. “Um...” He looked over at Eito, one of his eyes still scrunched closed. Shion surprised me for the thousandth time that day by floating over the table to Eito, too...

He reached out and hugged him—his avatar was so transparent that I could see Eito’s shocked expression through him.

“Um... I know that you’re not the same person, but... thank you for accepting me.”

Eito was completely frozen, clearly having no idea what to do. “Ah...” He hesitantly reached up, patting Shion’s transparent back. “You’re welcome...” He might’ve answered automatically.

Shion floated away from him, his arms disappearing. “Well, then... Good night.” He smiled at me as his face faded away. “Oh—Takemaru taught me something new to say. ‘Catch ya on the flipside!’ Haha...” The last thing I saw was his gently laughing face, as he disappeared into the dusk.

“Good night...”

The library was quiet. The glow from the Artificial Satellite poured in from the window, high above in the night sky.

Eito pushed up his glasses. “What a troublesome person my blind self was.”

I smiled to myself. “Yeah... he really was, huh?” I pushed out my chair. “Do you want to go for a walk with me outside the school?”

His eyes finally met mine. “I suppose... Ah, I mean, yes.” Geez—after teasing me all day, it was finally his turn to get flustered...

百

Eito sighed. “How boring—nothing I said shocked Shion at all.” His brows were sloped in disappointment. “He just took our ‘special relationship’ as a matter of course... How am I supposed to have any fun now, Takumi?”

“Of course he wasn’t shocked—he can feel your stupid feelings, you know.”

“Stupid?” He covered his heart, as if I had deeply wounded him... He really was theatrical sometimes. “I’ve never been so upset in my whole life, Takumi... Comfort me...”

“You’re really being bold, aren’t you...” I said that, but I still stroked the back of his hand... Nobody else was out here, so... I could tolerate the embarrassment of walking around holding hands with him.

“Me? You threatened to blow me up earlier...”

“Oh, yeah—guess you better stay on my good side, then.”

“My goodness... You’re quite the slave driver, Takumi...”

“I told you—relationships take work.” Actually—I can’t remember if I said that out loud, or just thought it...

“‘Relationships’, you say...” He squeezed my hand. “Aha... If you had to quantify it with a percentage, how close are you to falling in love with me, Takumi?”

“Ugh... I’m not answering that.” I don’t even know, anyway—that’s a really dependent variable. Dependent on how annoying he’s being that day...

He laughed lightly. “That’s all right... you don’t have to answer.” He gave my hand a little squeeze. Ugh... so assumptive... Well—whatever.

I gazed up at the starry sky... There was basically no light pollution on this planet. All the modern buildings around us were long-since destroyed... I couldn’t let myself get caught up playing “house”—I had an important mission to fulfill, that’s the whole reason I came back.

Well... I suppose, since I’ve willingly thrust myself back into this hell three times over now... I’ve earned the right to be a little selfish and try to take a little piece of happiness for myself wherever I can...

“... I’m sorry for dipping out on you last night.” I snugly clasped Eito’s hand. “What I had to do was important though, so... You have my undivided attention now.” I laughed a bit, but that came out more forward than I intended...

“Oh, dear... Haha...” He wormed his fingers through mine. “I wonder what I should ask you to do to make it up to me? It was quite lonely in that cold room last night, aha...”

“... Just keep it within reason, please.” I was scarred for life by Yugamu’s weird “requests”...

“Hehe...” He laughed lightly—it sounded different from his normal disingenuous laughter. “Well... Will you stay even after the nighttime announcement?”

... I wanted to. Ugh, it was embarrassing how much I wanted to stay last night, but—the idea of being anywhere near that pod just...

I firmly twined our fingers. “Let’s go to my room.”

Eito was quiet for a second. “That nosy commanding officer of yours won’t barge in? Aha... I’d rather not leave the door propped open with a rock, if possible.” I was shocked to hear him say something so bold...

My heart was already beating hard just suggesting it, I was worried he could feel it in my palm... “It’ll be fine.” I led him back through the quiet schoolyard, and his hand felt really warm in mine...

百

My nerves were starting to get to me just a little as I closed the door behind us... “—would you like some tea?” Oh, wait—I don’t have a way to make hot water. I didn’t have time to prepare anything, the adrenaline from being so impulsive was starting to—

“Takumi.” Eito gently closed his hand over mine. “Haha... As much as I’d love to coolly sweep you off your feet... I think the best thing is to admit that I’m also a little nervous.” He laughed quietly in the dark room, lit only by the glow of the satellite from outside the small window. “After all—who else was I supposed to get close to before coming here? Haha...”

I realized I had started kneading his hand, like the other day in the library... “I guess that’s true...”

“So don’t worry about a thing—I have nothing to compare it to, you could be completely awful and I wouldn’t know the difference.”

I actually laughed. “Geez...” Oddly enough, that did help me feel a little better... Even though he was joking, I should probably set some sort of boundary or expectation now, before anyone gets carried away... “Um... I don’t want to go crazy or anything...” I really hoped he could read between the lines... “But...”

“Why don’t you set the pace, Takumi.” His voice was soft. “I’ll follow you.” Whew... that took a lot of pressure off me. I just don’t want to be expected to go all the way out of nowhere—Yugamu and I never even—I can’t think about that right now. Just focus on the person right in front of me... He’ll follow whatever pace I set... It’ll be okay. There’s no need to be nervous... I just want to be close to him.

“Please, make yourself comfortable.” I went over to sit on the edge of the bed, taking off my shoes. Eito followed suit, thankfully, the mattress creaking softly as he sat next to me. “Oh—I found this old cassette tape that was still intact while we were out exploring the other day—there’s a schematic in the Gift-O-Matic for a player, if you can believe it—do you mind if I put it on?”

“Go right ahead.” He also started taking his shoes off, neatly setting them together at the foot of the bed.

“All right...” I went over to the CD-cassette-radio player. I wonder if this kind of technology was common on Futurum, or if this cassette tape belonged to a hipster... “I already listened to it out of curiosity... I’m not sure how to describe the music, it’s kind of cute but sad—like what they call ‘dream pop’, I guess.” Karua probably would’ve liked it... I wonder if Nozomi would? [A/N: The vibe is the track “Crush” by Closed Tear, and the whole NADA ES PARA SIEMPRE album in general. Very specific, I know lol—see post-chapter notes ;)]

“‘Cute but sad’... quite a combination, aha...”

“Right? That’s how I’d describe it, though.” I pressed down the big chunky Play button, and the scratchy tape reels started spinning. The singer had a low, dreamlike echo effect on their vocals, and the lyrics were unintelligible, so it wouldn’t be distracting... “I can’t tell if it’s old or modern... it honestly kinda sounds like both.”

Eito had folded up his jacket, draping it over the chair at my desk. Good, he was actually making himself comfortable... Honestly, I was much less nervous now after getting that out in the open. It’s not like Eito knew what he was doing, either... He probably wanted to go at my pace to take the pressure off him, too. “So... this is what you like?”

“I guess I’m open to different genres, as long as I like the vibe and the melody.” I sat on the edge of the bed next to him, the mattress creaking softly. “I think it’s interesting—what kind of music did you listen to before?”

I could still see his face clearly by the soft blue light pouring in from the window. “Haha... to be honest, Takumi—I didn’t listen to music much before.”

“Really?” Oh... “Um... are the vocals bothering you?”

“Not when it’s like this.” His eyes closed behind his glasses. “It’s distorted enough that I can’t make out what they’re saying, either.” Well, that’s good...

I steadied my heart... I reached up and pushed his hair away from his face, tucking some behind his ear...

His eyes were still closed. “I can see why you get that cute look when I touch your ears, Takumi...”

“Haha—when my skeleton starts steaming, right?”

“Exactly... I wish I was a better artist so I could draw it for you...” He lightly clasped my hand, folding our fingers together. “It really is cute...”

“I’m sure it is...” He was looking at me so shyly—he’s really cute...

I closed the gap, letting my eyes close... his lips were still so dry, maybe it was time I gently suggested he start using chapstick, or drinking more water...

“—I’m sorry, Takumi.” His voice tickled my lips. “I can feel how dry my lips are when I kiss you...”

“It’s all right—just splash some cold water on your lips after you take a shower or brush your teeth, then put some chapstick on right after. That’s a trick my friend taught me.” I almost said “Karua” there... I guess it’d be fine even if I did.

“I see... I’ll have to start doing that then, thank you.” He laughed lightly, his hand pushing through the back of my hair and giving me a wave of tingles... “For now though, I hope it’s all right if I borrow yours...” He kissed me again, more confidently like last night—why was that actually pretty smooth?!

I let him kiss me so he could savor the feeling of that line actually working... okay, Takumi—I can’t just sit there like a pillow princess the whole time, I have to be proactive and find out what he likes, too...

I leaned into him, slipping in more tongue—it was really hot inside his mouth. “—mn!” He let out a surprised noise—whoa, I actually got him. “Takumi...” That must’ve flipped a switch—he was holding both sides of my face, kissing down into me like he couldn’t get enough... holy shit. This could get a little—no, it’d be fine... I’m the one setting the pace.

I leaned to the side on one arm, signaling I wanted to lay down... He followed my lead, and we were lying face-to-face while he clasped my hand—the moonlight didn’t quite reach the pillow so his face was shadowed, I could only make out the faintest outline...

“Oh...” He sat up quickly, taking off his glasses. He stretched over me to set them on the desk—his palm pressed down on the loose front of my shirt and pulled it—“Ah—sorry, Takumi.”

“It’s okay.” I laughed a bit while he laid back down beside me. Honestly... the awkwardness made it more comfortable. It was less intimidating being with an Eito who was a little clumsy...

Suddenly that image flashed in my head of him looking up at me from the pool chair, the way his eyes looked half-lidded behind his long lashes...

I pushed myself up on my elbow, leaning over him... He let me kiss him, and I felt his hand running through my hair... this was nice, I felt like more of an active participant “on top” like this... I let my weight collapse on his chest, it felt like I was connected to him...

“Takumi...” He grasped my hand, holding my palm flat over his heart—wah, it was beating fast. That was encouraging...

“Mine too...” I somewhat clumsily pressed his palm to my heart, too—it felt like it was beating harder now... ugh, stupid shirt—“Mn—hey...” I reluctantly broke the kiss, catching my breath a little. “Why don’t you get comfortable for bed?” That was less blunt than, “Take your pants off!” Ugh, I should’ve asked earlier, I didn’t want to have to stop when things were going smoothly...

“Sure... it’s all right if I stay?”

I moved back to give him room, and he sat up.

“... yeah.” Hoo—it was real now.

“... all right.” He peeled his shirt off—his pale skin was glowing blue on the half of his torso that wasn’t in shadow.

I quickly scooted to the edge of the bed, throwing my shirt off somewhere and trying to undo the button on my jeans while my fingers were trembling a little—it wasn’t nerves, but anticipation—I just wanted these stupid pants off so we could get under the covers and get even closer...

After what felt like forever, I was scooting under the sheets, but he was still sitting at the edge of the bed... His back was curved while he pulled his pants off, folding them up neatly... I could see the bones of his spine sticking out a bit. He was moving kind of slow, almost as if he was hesitating...

I rubbed his pale back with my palm—oops, he jumped a little. “Sorry—is everything okay?”

“... Yes, everything’s fine.” I could hear a soft smile in his tone. He set his folded white pants at the very foot of the bed. Then he lifted the sheets, getting under and scooting closer to me... He just laid there next to me while we were facing each other, not really doing anything... For some reason it was giving me another pang of anxiety that he was being so hesitant all the sudden...

“... Are you sure?”

I heard him sigh. “Sorry, Takumi... I thought I could fake my way through it, but the truth is I have no idea what I should do, or how I should touch you... I don’t want you to be disappointed—”

“Whoa, hey—there’s no need to over-think it.” I scooted closer to him. “Obviously you’re doing something right...” Hoo—I just had to be bold. Feeling is believing... “Look...” I moved his hand through the sheets, letting his palm brush me so he could feel how hard I still was. “Ah—” I let the embarrassing noise out without trying to smother it... “I just want to be closer to you...”

“Takumi...” He moved under the sheets, practically pressing up against me... he was brushing me through my boxers with the back of his fingers and knuckles, it felt better than it had any right to—“Takumi—” His long fingers were around me—

“Mn—” I struck like a cobra, cutting off the noise that escaped my lips with his—his tongue was pressing all up into mine, finally the switch flipped—my brain felt melty the way he was kissing me, I was pulsing in his hand—please be hard too, I’ll be devastated if he’s—oh, thank God. He wasn’t huge or anything either, what a relief... We were just openly and honestly touching each other now, I slipped my hand under the waistband, and he was already a little slick—it was so warm, I was surprised how hot his body could be when his hands were normally so cold...

I wrapped my leg around him, half-rolled on top of him—wah, he wrapped his free arm strongly around my lower back, pressing me down into him—I couldn’t get enough, I wanted our bodies to get even closer and meld together—

“Takumi—” His voice was so low while he swallowed me from the inside... his thumb kept stroking that same spot that was really sensitive—ah wait wait, slow down...

“—wait...” My own voice surprised me, it sounded so wet and throaty—I was breathing hard. I didn’t want to come right away, I wanted this feeling to last longer...

“Takumi...” His throaty voice was all up in my ear—his hand eased up but he was kissing me like he wanted to eat me alive—“Are you feeling good?”

“—yeah—” Was that my voice? Ah—

“Mnn... Takumi—” He trapped me with his leg, like a spider eating me in his web—I could feel how desperately he wanted me, it was really doing it for me—I couldn’t stop, I was just grinding into him now without a shred of self-consciousness—my whole body was on fire—I really like him, want to be closer—

“Ah...!” My voice squeaked—a flash banged behind my eyes, it was slippery, I couldn’t stop—

“Nn—ahh! Takumi...!” That was his voice?! So cute—

百

‘Ding dong, bing bong!’

“Up and at ‘em, troops! It’s time to rise and shine! Get ready for your twelfth day of active service here at Last Defense Academy!”

“Hrrm...” I could feel that there was crust at the edges of my eyes... I’m not awake, if I keep my eyes closed, I’ll just go right back into my dream...

“... oh, I’m not blown up.”

My eyes shot open—Eito’s face was so close, he was snickering with his head on my pillow. His voice sounded hoarse, his eyes were still closed—it’s not a dream this time, right?

“You’re right, you’re not...”

“Hmm...” He snuggled into me, tickling my cheek with his surprisingly messy hair—his hair was still all smooth and silky in my dream, so this must be real... “I guess we got away with it...” I’d never heard his deeper “just woke up” voice before...

I brought my free arm around, running my hand through the back of his hair... my fingers got caught on a knot, but I gently combed through it... wah, I really did that last night... It still felt a bit surreal. “I’ll say...”

“Hmmm...” He was purring away like a human cat. “Hey, Takumi—it was a little dark, but... do you want to know what you look like when you’re feeling really good?”

“Um...” How can he be so casual, after that?! I swallowed, my throat felt totally dry. “What—was my skeleton on fire or something?” That’s how it felt, anyway—

“Ah! How did you know?!” His eyes were practically shining. He started peppering my face with little pecks before my brain could catch up—

“Hey, hey!” I squirmed away, laughing a bit. “You’re tickling me—geez, let me wake up all the way!” Ugh, my voice was rough—I just laid on my back, pushing my matted hair off my forehead. My heart was beating a little faster...

Eito pushed himself up on his arms, smiling down at me without his glasses on. “Can I kiss you some more when you’re awake?” Oh my God, this guy—what have I done? I’ve created a monster... “Haha, there’s no need to be shy, Takumi...” He reached down, delicately smoothing my crazy bedhead around my ear... How can this guy be so calm after showing himself like that... he was so cute and shy at first... He wasn’t just faking that, right?

I licked my lips. “I’m glad you got more comfortable...”

He kept smoothing my hair with his long fingers. “You were so honest with me, Takumi, I was able to be honest, too...” He smiled down at me gently. “Haha, maybe I should start calling you ‘Sensei’!”

“Please don’t...” It felt lonely with him hovering above me like that... “Just come here...”

He gave me a really sweet kiss, tinged with a slow tiredness that just made me want to stay in bed all day... He was the same person as last night, and the day before...

“Hmmm...” He laid down and clung to me like a sloth on a tree... he seems pretty happy. I ran my hands through his silky hair some more, and my fingers didn’t get caught... I let my eyes close. It feels as mellow as when we were walking around the schoolyard... I expected everything to feel super different, like I’d gain some kind of clarity... maybe it was a sign that I was just comfortable with this guy that nothing feels much different at all. It was cozy, he was surprisingly warm for someone whose hands were cold all the time... comfy, I don’t want to wake up yet...

“... you can kiss me some more when I wake up.”

“Hehe... it’s a promise then, Takumi.”

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🥰🤭

Thanks for reading, friends ^_^

So... last night in a fugue state I made an Eito playlist 🙈 I was listening to one of my favorite songs of all time, “Duvet” by bôa—and all the sudden I was struck by divine inspiration like, OMG these lyrics are so Eito/Takumi-coded. “And you don’t seem to understand/A shame, you seemed an honest man.../And all the fears you hold so dear/Will turn to whisper in your ear...” And the iconic chorus—“I am falling/I am fading/I am drowning.../Help me to breathe.../I am hurting/I have lost it all/I am losing.../Help me to breathe...” Like blaming the other person for the relationship not working, but when they start to pull away, pleading with them to stay because you’re a complete mess and desperately need them to even be able to function... It’s like codependency the song 😭

Anyway lol, it’s out there for anyone who wants to check it out, but this is filtered through the taste of a Millennial goth XD Which is to say, there’s a lot of nu metal on there, cuz a lot of those songs are written by guys going through it lol—but Eito’s battle theme sounds for all the world like KoRn to me, so I think that’s fair game lol. Like the Three Days Grace track “I Hate Everything About You (Why Do I Love You?)” is the most Eito-coded sentiment ever XD (Even though I’m pretty sure that song is actually about domestic ab*se 😭) There’s another track on there by Sinnerella and Mica called “Seeker” that ends with, “What if I told you/That I could never fully heal/That I’ll be broken forever/Would you love me still?” Like damn... that might actually happen 😭 Their attempt to help Eito didn’t work in “Coming-of-Age”...

If y’all have any suggestions, let me know! [Edit from the future: Somehow this thing’s ballooned to over 5 hours lol, I’m truly sorry to anyone without a premium account, that song order must be diabolical on shuffle 😂] It’s just fun for me to talk about different character interpretations :3 This story does feel like a collaborative process in some ways 🤭💖

See ya next time~ ♡

Chapter Text

Chapter 11 – Waking Dreams

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Day 83 – 2nd Scenario

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Eito was waiting for me as soon as I stepped outside my room...

“Good morning, Takumi!” He waved brightly. “I can assume from the warmth of the sun that it’s a beautiful day today!”

I looked up at the cloudless blue sky. “Yeah... I guess it is.”

“Aha...” He laughed awkwardly. “So dour... Has the harrowing decision that the others thrust onto you left you feeling completely numb?” He smiled disingenuously. “I’m sorry, Takumi—if nothing else, would it be so wrong of me to ask you to enjoy this beautiful day in my stead?” His eyes were completely hidden behind his dark glasses.

I walked down the steps leading from my door. “It’s hard to appreciate the beauty of this planet... knowing we’re only going to destroy it in the end.”

He stood there, not saying anything. “It was an impossible decision.” He surprised me with his words, and his serious, gentle tone. “There are innocent civilians on both sides... Even someone like me, who hates humans from the bottom of his heart, can acknowledge that. Haha... It’s ironic, isn’t it?” He had an odd smile, his forever-closed eyes completely obscured. “All of those memories were just implanted, my cognitive disorder was just a defect... I finally have a reason to hate humans sincerely, but I just can’t bring myself to give them the time of day.” He sighed. “After all—you made a fair point the other day. Haha... I’ve never truly met those humans living in the Tokyo Residential Complex, so how can I say I truly hate them? Haha... Oh, but don’t get me wrong—I hate the ones who did this to us.” His grin was terrifying. “I loathe them from the bottom of my heart... Even if I do go along with you to save humanity, I don’t think I can ever forgive the people who kidnapped Shion as a baby, synthesized us all in some lab, and played god with our lives.”

“... Yugamu said the same thing.” I breathed a heavy sigh. “He said he wants to leave his life of killing behind, so assassinating the ones who did this to us will be his last job.”

“Haha...” His laugh was truly scary. “Well—I hope that one will leave a few for me! He can’t hog all the killing for himself!”

“Geez...” I just stood next to him, looking up into his pretty face, knowing that he can’t see me doing it. I can’t put my finger on it, but something about him feels different... He must’ve resolved himself even more than yesterday, when he crushed his own eyeballs on the floor of the cafeteria...

He smiled down at me, his dark sunglasses the biggest feature on his face. “I hope you know that I’m not just trying to flatter you, Takumi. It was an impossible choice that those wishy-washy allies of yours all passed off onto you.” He sighed. “How terrible... At least you don’t have to worry about that kind of indecisiveness with me! I’ll always be upfront with you about my agenda!” He paused for a second. “I know you can’t see it, Takumi—but I’m winking behind my glasses!”

“Geez...” I just snickered to myself. Maybe it was because I could feel his genuine resolve, but I was starting to feel a little more warmly towards Eito...

His smile shrunk down just a little, taking on a tinge of sadness. “Well, at any rate—I gave my word that I’d follow your decision and fight alongside all of you, so that’s what I’ll do.” He laid his hand over his heart. “Not just fighting for our survival, but so we can stay together and take control of our own lives from here on out... You’ve shown me something truly beautiful, Takumi. Haha... Not that I expected anything different, of course!”

I just peered up at him... Why did he look so different in my eyes than yesterday?

“... I just hope that decision hasn’t weighed you down to the point where you can’t enjoy the life you’re fighting for.” He put his hands on my shoulders—he was still wearing his gloves. “The sun is still shining... You’re alive, Takumi, and can still feel the warmth on your skin. Life goes on...” He brushed his gloved thumb against my cheek. “Takumi, as long as you can live on... Even if it’s with regrets, I’ll be happy with that.” His dark glasses were so opaque, but I could just barely make out the silhouette of his long eyelashes. “You can always make something of your life, even if you’re wracked with guilt... Don’t ever feel guilty about being alive, even if you have to take the lives of others to do it.”

“But—”

“No ‘buts’.” He smiled gently. “Just keep moving forward, even if you have regrets so heavy it’s paralyzing—just promise me that, Takumi.” His gloved hands were at either side of my face. Another promise... I’d made so many irresponsible promises. But... I promised that I’d “do my best” to find a cure for Eito’s condition, and I’d “do my best” to find a way for Shion to live outside of his pod... that’s all I can do. “Just live—for me.”

I pushed his silky hair away from his face. “What about you?”

Even without his eyes, I could tell his expression was dominated by resigned sadness.

My eyes softly fell closed as he leaned in... His lips were soft—did he already take my advice to splash cold water and then seal it with chapstick? Oh... what am I thinking, I never said that to him... I never could have said any of this to him, since he kept his feelings inside like a steel trap, never telling me anything until it was too late...

I pulled back, and his face was so close I could see his closed eyes clearly behind his glasses. “This isn’t a very realistic dream... I never kissed you in my timeline.”

“Aha... I’m sorry, Takumi.” Eito laughed softly. “I suppose I couldn’t resist appearing before you again, even after what I said...” His gloved finger was stroking my cheek. “I guess I got a little jealous.”

“Geez...” I was looking right in his face—his small smile seemed a little embarrassed, even guilty. Even now, when we might as well be the only two people in the world, he was still holding himself back... Even after the crushing weight of what we discovered about ourselves theoretically leaving him with nothing left to hide... he still couldn’t be completely honest with me. His heart was still closed, unknowable, until the end... “Ugh...” I felt a little sting in my eye.

“Takumi?!” His hands cupped my face. “Ah—I’m sorry, I’ve upset you, I shouldn’t have done that—”

“It’s not that.” I sounded like I had a frog in my throat. “Ugh...” I wiped my eye with my wrist. “It’s just not fair... You’re already gone. You did all the hard work, you went so far as to blind yourself, and burn your nose out... You even stood with us when we tried to save the humans, even though you had more reason to hate them than ever... It’s just not fair.” He desperately wrapped his arms around me, petting the back of my hair—it was awkward, I could feel that he had no idea what to do. “You walked so that he could run... But you just died like all the others. Now you’re gone, you don’t get to feel how I—”

“Takumi...” He just clung onto me, at a complete loss. “—don’t worry about something like that. I—”

“You deserve to know what it feels like to be loved, too. To be accepted...” I buried my face in his collarbone, more tears threatening to fall. “You did all the hard work, but you don’t even get to reap any of it... You just died in the end...”

He gently pat my back. “That’s not true at all.” He smoothed his palm down my back—oh, I suddenly wasn’t wearing my jacket. Dream logic... “I’m with you all the time, Takumi. I feel what you feel... How could I ask for anything more?”

“Ha...” I laughed a bit, his hair tickling me while I hid my face in his neck. “So, you saw all that, huh...”

“Well... it isn’t really like that.” He finally hugged me without reservation, as if the uncertainty just melted away. “It’s not like I’m sitting inside you watching through your eyes while eating popcorn—it’s more like, I’m a part of you. I feel your feelings, as you’re feeling them... There’s no distinction between you or I anymore.”

“That would probably drive the other you crazy if he heard that.”

“Haha... Well, I suppose he’ll just have to get over it, then.”

I smoothed his silky hair back from his face, tucking it behind his ear. “You’re not mad?” My eyes were searching his face. “You don’t resent the ‘you’ that’s still alive?”

“Hmm.” He had a small smile, his eyes scrunching just a bit behind his glasses. “Well—my feelings are complicated, as I’m sure you can believe. But—I imagine that this is what a parent feels like, when they want to make sure their child has a better life than they did...” He was feeling the sides of my face, his fingers lightly brushing my hair. “He is me, so there’s no point resenting him—I’m already gone, so the best thing I can do is to cheer him on, and be happy for him.” He had a bright smile—I can tell he really means that. “At least I can give my other self the tools for success, so that he can achieve what I couldn’t—oh, but I didn’t just hand him everything on a silver platter! Haha... if he wants his happy ending, he’ll just have to earn it himself!”

I rested my hands on his chest coquettishly... “I heard what you told him... That killing his parents was just a false memory.” Since he’s “part of me” now, I know he’ll just know I’m trying to schmooze an answer out of him, but... This is my best chance to ask. “What else did you tell him? He keeps implying he knows more than he lets on...”

He looked a little squirmy—I can tell he’s conflicted on whether he should just tell me. “Takumi... I’m sorry, but that’s just between me and the ‘other me’.” His brows were sloped, his mouth downturned in a small frown. “But—I ask that you trust me, please. I wouldn’t tell him anything that would overwhelm him, or that he wouldn’t be able to accept so early on—that would just be counter-productive. But...” The way he was looking down at me, it was almost like he could see me. “... I knew that he wouldn’t be able to guiltlessly hold you like this, if he still believed he was the kind of person to kill. Who would do that to his own parents...” He held me snugly in his arms. “He deserved to know that much, at least...” He smiled sadly, with a rare hint of self-awareness. “I can only wonder how I would’ve turned out if I had found out the truth much sooner—about my memories, and my defect... And all of us.” He laughed lightly. “Hm—that’s what I mean by wanting to do right by him like a self-sacrificing parent, haha... I want my other self who’s still alive to have a better shot at life than I ever had.”

I enjoyed the feeling of him holding me so closely without reservation, my palms still pressed warmly to his chest. “You really have changed.”

“Aha... Well, I’m only able to feel this way because I’m with you now, Takumi.” His smile was gentle. “I finally understand what it feels like to ‘love’ someone without ‘hate’... Isn’t that right?” He was talking above my head—what?

Ah—I thought I saw a flash of something white, but it disappeared.

I turned back to him with wide eyes. “Was that him? The Asshole Eito from my first timeline?”

“Haha... Maybe it was.” He shifted his arms around me. “Good grief—if you think I’m jealous, you don’t even want to know how he’s feeling all the time...”

“Oh, brother... I can imagine.” I laid my cheek in the crook of his shoulder, letting my eyes close. He felt so warm... “I wish you could stay longer... I don’t want to have to wake up just yet.”

The morning sun shone down strongly around the rooftop, the edges of the scenery blurry like a watercolor painting—the telltale sign that this was just a dream.

“Hearing you say that is enough, Takumi... I don’t have the right to ask for anything more.” He rubbed my shoulder with his gloved hand. “It’s all right—I don’t have any regrets. I’m with you now all the time, so—I get to be with you more intimately than that guy ever will!”

“Geez—I gave you too much credit just now.”

“Haha... Well, you know how I am better than anyone.” He had a small smile when he finally pulled away. “All right... I’m done hogging Takumi all to myself. You can come out now...”

I heard a small voice over my shoulder. “Um...” I turned to see Shion peeking out from behind the service doors that led down into the school. “Hello, Takumi... I’m sorry, I didn’t want to interrupt.”

I smiled, finally letting Eito go. “It’s fine—I’m glad to see you. Come on over here.”

Shion padded over—oh, he wasn’t surrounded by flames, he just looked like a normal kid walking on the ground—well, normal by his standards, anyway. He still had his signature mismatched eyes and long feathery eyelashes—but without the purple reflection of his flames, I could see how papery pale he was.

Well—this is my dream, so I must want to be able to see Shion like that someday, in a world where he can grow up normally...

He smiled up at us shyly. “Are you all right now, Takumi? I didn’t know what to do when I saw you getting upset... I apologize.”

“I’m all right now—and you have nothing to apologize for.” I reached out my arm. “Here.” I put my other arm back around Eito, ushering Shion into a group hug like I’d done with Takemaru and Tsubasa.

Shion hesitated for a split-second, then rushed into my arm. I hugged both of them tightly—even Eito wrapped his other arm around Shion. I just enjoyed a quiet moment with the three of us, for however long it lasted...

“Did you see how well your other self was getting along with everyone?”

Shion lifted his face. “Yes—I’m really happy for him.” He smiled brightly—I’ll never be able to unsee that his eyelashes look like peacock feathers, that was an oddly cute observation for Gaku to make. “I’m glad that he’ll get even more time with everyone... You were able to convince Sirei so early on, Takumi... Thank you.”

I pat his back. “Well—everything is all thanks to the two of you. You both worked so hard in my second timeline—everyone did. It’s only thanks to you that I can bring back what I know, and give everyone a head start.”

Shion peered up at me. “When do you think you’ll tell everyone the truth? About who we all really are...”

I sighed. “I don’t know... I might just have to play it by ear. I think everyone deserves to know, but if they found out too soon...”

Eito was quiet, standing tall above the two of us. “I think you should consider telling everyone sooner, rather than later.”

“You think so?”

He smiled gently. “My other self is in a unique position—he’s working hard to find another reason for being. In the short term, you might call it a reason to keep fighting... So, he won’t be as devastated when he founds out the truth as I was. Haha...” Eito laughed somewhat hollowly. It hurt my heart to hear him say that... “But—the others will have to know the truth before they can discover their new reason for being. They might end up making the decision we all did—to stay together and fight so we can survive, regardless of which ‘side’ we ended up taking.”

“Maybe...” I let myself lean into him a little. “But—I want to try to save everyone this time. Even if it’s ridiculously idealistic of me...”

“Well—there are ways of ensuring that everyone survives, even if whether both sides will be able to coexist peacefully is beyond your control.” He rubbed his chin with a gloved finger. “You haven’t given the idea to V’ehxness to absorb the others’ cryptoglobin yet—that’s what powered her up enough to be able to use Undying Flames herself, right?”

“That’s correct—she was able to utilize a power not unlike mine through amassing so much of her comrades’ cryptoglobin.” Shion’s already-pale face looked paler. “That’s how she was able to power the missile that destroyed the Artificial Satellite.”

“I see... So—” I looked between their faces. “As long as she doesn’t see us absorbing the Commanders’ cryptoglobin—she won’t get the idea to break the taboo herself, and she won’t be able to build the missile?”

“That’s a fair assumption—however, we still don’t understand the extent of Futuran technology.” Eito wasn’t looking at either of us in particular. “V’ehxness said something to the extent of, ‘The power bestowed to us by God has always served us—we have no need for weapons.’ But—as Shion said, hemoanima is a mysterious force that we still don’t fully understand. There may be a way for her to craft some horrifying weapon that even you haven’t seen.”

“Maybe...” Even considering it made my blood run cold. “I know how you must feel, but—if possible, I don’t want all the humans on the satellite to die.” My eyes scrunched closed. “Even if they send the satellite down to the planet to retaliate against us, or try to wage war all over again—the ones in charge don’t represent the whole of humanity. Innocent civilians just trying to live their lives... I don’t want to abandon them.”

“I understand, Takumi.” Shion pressed his hand over his heart. “Although none of us are human, you still feel compassion towards them—because that’s how you are.”

“Well...” I suddenly felt embarrassed. “Don’t give me too much credit here—I’m just trying my best...”

“Hm.” Eito laughed lightly, actually patting my head... “There’s no point being humble now, Takumi—after all, it’s that unfailing optimism and compassion that made Asshole Eito fall so madly in love with you—so much so that he wanted to kill you to shut down his own feelings! Haha...”

I felt a hole being burned into the back of my head...

I turned around, seeing him standing over by himself at the edge of the rooftop. “You can come here, you know—I don’t want to leave you out, either.”

The Eito from my first timeline just glared, his “righteous eyes” smoldering with unadulterated hatred. “I’d rather jump off this roof than tolerate being so disgustingly close to a monster like you...”

I rolled my eyes heavily. “This is my dream—just stop with the tough guy act.” I opened my arm, and he was instantly zipped to my side.

“Kh—!” He tried to push me away, but I just firmly wrapped my arms around him while he was struggling. “Let go of me, you filthy—!”

“—I’m sorry you were never able to find out the truth. I’m sorry you suffered alone for so long.” He froze up, then pushed me away more firmly.

“You don’t understand anything—”

“You’re right—I don’t.” I looked up at him, and I saw a flash of wide-eyed fear in his face. “I can’t begin to understand what that must’ve been like for you—but I think even you would’ve been able to change if you found out the truth.” I rested my head against his chest. I could feel his heart beating... “You don’t need to keep holding onto that anger anymore... For your own sake, not just mine.”

Even though it was just a dream, I could feel the warmth from his hemoanima resonating with mine—it bubbled like a boiling stewpot.

“Heh... I don’t, do I?” I heard the sneer in his voice. “You really have no idea, do you, Takumi?” His words were dripping with venom. “You know, we aren’t just floating around inside you like free radicals... Someday, what remains of our conscious selves is going to get absorbed back into ‘bloodspace’... but I’ve already been there.”

I looked up at him. “... What?”

“What are you talking about?” Second Eito’s tone was sharp.

“Hehe... You’d like to know, wouldn’t you? I wonder if you’d still be as pathetically obsessed with this guy if you saw it...” First Eito grinned wickedly—that dark grin that split his face, his eyes crushed to crescents. “I’ve seen the other timelines... Including the ones where you killed me in cold blood, Takumi...” A chill ran up my spine. “You didn’t trust me at all... As soon as you stopped me from destroying Sirei, you cut me down without a second thought...” My eyes were glued to his, his pupils shrunken in that unhinged stare. “You know, there’s another me out there who found out what you did—he hopped to another timeline where he was already dead, just to punish you...”

“That’s ridiculous.” Eito pushed up his dark glasses. “Takumi’s the only one whose power allows him to go back in time—and it’s only a one-way trip back to a fixed point.”

“Oh, is it?” He turned his manic look on his other self. “Then, what were all those other timelines we saw? Just ‘dreams’?”

Second Eito didn’t respond right away. “... I’m not saying it’s out of the realm of possibility. Certain things are a statistical inevitability when we’re dealing with an infinite number of timelines. But a living person can’t just ‘hop’ to another timeline—time flows linearly, it’s not a flowchart in some video game where you can just pick and choose where you want to go.”

“Haha... Well, I suppose you’ll find out when we all get absorbed into bloodspace.” He laughed hollowly. “You know I’m right, Takumi... You’ve seen your ‘other selves’ for yourself. The good, the bad, and the ugly...”

With that, he disappeared like smoke.

I couldn’t help but swallow. As much as I wanted to write off his words as just fucking with me, I—

“Takumi.” Shion’s gentle voice cut through my desperate thoughts. “Even if that is true—any Takumi from another timeline isn’t ‘you’.” He smiled easily. “You can look at it like a giant tree, growing on forever—each choice creates a different branch. And even after just a few forks, the branches are growing out in completely opposite directions.” He took my hand. “Even if they all originated from the same point, can you really say the ‘you’ who made different choices is the same ‘you’, once they start compounding on top of each other?”

I looked down at our hands clasped together. He was so pale, like a blind fish that had spent its whole life in a subterranean lake without any light... “I don’t know... From a literal or philosophical standpoint, I don’t know.”

Eito sighed. “Well—if there is a timeline out there where you killed me after you went back, I probably deserved it. Haha... That ‘me’ was probably so nasty and crazy, it’d be irresponsible of you to let him live.”

I just looked up at him, my brows sloped. “And that makes it okay?”

He actually looked down at me, even though I knew he couldn’t see me. “‘Okay’ is a subjective opinion—I’m sure you used your best judgement, and made the choice that gave everyone the best chance for survival. Ah—that ‘other you’ out there, that is.”

I couldn’t help but wrap my arms around him. “I don’t want to believe I would do that...” I squeezed him tightly, as if that would dispel this uneasy feeling in my heart... “... but it’s probably true. If there are infinite parallel universes out there, I’m sure there are a few where I...” I couldn’t even say it.

He rubbed my back. “That may very well be. But—by that same token, there’s a universe out there in which I fell for you so hard the first time, I abandoned my quest to eradicate humanity and didn’t necessitate you going back in time in the first place, haha...”

“Oh—wouldn’t that be interesting, Takumi?” Even Shion chimed in...

“There is no such universe!!” An angry voice spit from somewhere behind me.

“Oh, dear—he reappeared just to contradict me.” Second Eito sighed. “You know what that means—he probably found a ton like that. Haha...”

“Kh—!”

“Haha...” Shion laughed lightly. “I’m sure that’s more likely than Takumi taking your life in cold blood... There are probably multiple universes where you’re living together happily.”

“—you idealistic fools!! I’d rather die than suffer Takumi’s odious company for—”

Haah... oh, brother...

I turned around and looked right at him. “You know—in one of those timelines where we were living together, you had a corded phone on the wall, and an old-ass laptop... Futuran technology seems kind of old, isn’t it just as likely that we started a new peaceful life here?”

“Rgh—” He ground his teeth. “How sickening...” He disappeared again...

Eito sighed, adjusting his dark glasses. “Just ignore him, Takumi... He can’t really ‘go’ anywhere, since this is still your dream. He knows what you’re saying is right, anyway—he can feel what you’re feeling just as much as we can.”

“Haha... He is being rather stubborn, isn’t he?” Shion’s eyes closed. “Even I don’t bear him any ill will, although he was the one who took my life...” That’s right—both Shions were the same in my heart, that’s why they appeared as one like this... “I hope he’ll be able to find some self-acceptance before we all get absorbed into bloodspace.”

I felt my brows slope. “Is that really a thing?”

Shion looked up at Eito. “Yes, it is... When you absorbed our cryptoglobin, our consciousness came with it... But eventually, once your cryptoglobin is done ‘feasting’ and absorbs ours completely, then anything extra will return to bloodspace...”

“Is ‘bloodspace’ like the afterlife? I never even heard anyone mention it in either timeline...”

“Well, not exactly...” Shion was contemplating with a finger at his chin. “I suppose you can look at it that way, from an ideological standpoint—it’s more similar to the ‘Sea of Milk’ in Hindu mythology. A mixing pot from which all hemoanima originates, and to which all hemoanima returns. From there, it takes a new form when its divine energy manifests in the physical world once again.”

Eito rubbed his chin. “Fascinating... I’ve never been well-versed in religion, I would only read about folklore from a social studies standpoint. Haha... I firmly believed that there couldn’t be a god in such an unjust world, after all!”

“Well, I’m not surprised to hear that...”

Eito laughed lightly. “Well... Even if our conscious selves are destined to be returned to bloodspace—isn’t that comforting to know we’ll never be truly gone?” Eito put his arms around me once more. “Matter cannot be created or destroyed—it only changes form.”

“I see...” I let myself lean into him. That idea was a little comforting, actually...

“Well—I think it’s almost time for you to wake up, Takumi.” Shion smiled. Oops—I didn’t mean for him to feel left out. “I just wanted to thank you for everything you did for me yesterday... Well, my ‘other self’, that is.” He smiled so brightly. “I’m sure he was very happy.”

“Of course.” I let Eito go, moving to hug Shion. “Seeing that look on his face made it all worth it.” I pat his fluffy white hair, and one of his eyes closed. Aww... I feel bad that he thought he couldn’t come up and talk to me, since Eito was hogging my attention being lovey-dovey the whole time... “Here.” I pushed aside his fluffy hair. “So you don’t feel left out next time.” I planted a soft peck on his forehead.

“—ah.” His mismatched eyes went wide in surprise. “I see...” He looked like he was at a loss—then he disappeared.

“Wah! Shion?” I looked around—he was actually gone.

I heard Eito sigh. “Oh, dear... Even though I couldn’t see what happened, I can take a guess.” He shook his head. “That was a little mean, don’t you think, Takumi?”

“Mean? Why? I don’t think so...”

Eito sighed. “Never mind.” He took my hand. “Well—I suppose it is about time for you to wake up. Haah...” He sighed exaggeratedly loud. “My other self will be snuggled up next to you... I’m so jealous.”

I rolled my eyes. I was about to make a quip back, but...

I peered all around the rooftop... I don’t see the others, it feels like they “went back inside”... I felt bad that I flustered Shion so much he disappeared, but... I know it won’t be the last time I see him. Like he said last time, there was no need to say “goodbye”—if seeing his other self happy made him happy, then that was all I needed to hear.

I led Eito back up the stairs to my room by the hand. “Come with me.”

“Ah—Takumi?” He sounded a little apprehensive.

“What? I meant what I said.” Since this was a dream, I didn’t have to waste time taking off my shoes and all that—they were already gone. “I don’t think it’s fair that you put in all that hard work to change yourself, and—”

“Ah—please don’t say anything more.” He quickly wrapped his arms around me, almost as if he was putting a shushing finger to my lips. “Please—I told you to just forget about me. I didn’t plan on appearing before you like this again...” His brows were sloped deeply behind his dark glasses.

I sighed. “But you did appear again... Just indulge me this once.” I rested my palms on his chest. “Stay with me until I wake up... I want you to know what that feels like.”

Eito sighed. “Takumi... Wouldn’t that feel like having an affair?”

I laughed. “No—you said that you’re a part of me now. So it’s fine...” I led him to the bed by the hand, and crawled under the covers, getting cozy. I scooted back to give him some room next to me.

He hesitated for a second. It was a dream, so—after I blinked, his clothes were neatly-folded on the chair, and we were both dressed down to what we were wearing in the real world. Well, what his “other self” was wearing, I guess... Oh—I never really got a good look, so he wore dark navy blue boxer-briefs—I can’t say I was expecting that. I’m just glad it wasn’t tighty-whities...

After all his protesting, he still got in after me... “Oh...” He took off his dark glasses, folding them up and setting them on the desk. His eyes stayed closed.

I clasped his hand while he scooted closer to me under the blankets. “I’ve made good progress on my promise.” I closed my eyes. “I realized that I have to try to understand you on your own terms, not by the person you could be when you change...” Oops—I said “you” again instead of “he”...

“... I see.” He warmly clasped my hand, and I felt him scoot just a bit closer... “You’ve been working hard...” He was so close, I could feel his light breath hitting my hand. “I hope my other self appreciates the effort...”

“Haha... Of course.” I twined our fingers together. “I’m glad you’re mature enough to be happy for yourself, instead of jealous...”

“Hrm...”

I just snickered, enjoying the feeling of his hand in mine, and his gentle warmth under the blankets... Honestly... If it was up to me, I would kiss him some more, and... Well—obviously he’s trying to be mature and “bow out gracefully”, so that wouldn’t be fair to put him in that position... And any more than this would kind of feel like having an affair—they were different people. I just want him to know what a simple feeling like this is like, while he’s still here with me...

“... Takumi?”

“Hm?”

“... thank you.” So softly I barely felt it, he kissed the back of my hand...

 ◑ ● ◐ 

Rust-filled gutter-water was leaking out from the fathomless black holes of Takumi’s charred eye sockets... “... hn... it’s not fair...”

It was hard to watch, my heart ached as I gazed down at him helplessly, his bony teeth clattering, his bones twitching... I wished there was something I could do... But I knew what he was dreaming about. He must be talking to the “other me”... So, he stayed to visit Takumi in his dream as well. I didn’t have the right to wake him up... Takumi had told me that it would be difficult for him to let go of the me who had sacrificed so much just to stay with them. I don’t begrudge him for that... in fact, I understand. It took me a while to admit, but... I owed a lot to my other self. You might say that he walked so that I could run... He let go of his ego to filet away the parts of himself that weren’t necessary—physically, emotionally, ideologically... he made choices that I might not have been brave enough to make myself, if left to my own devices. It was impossible to say that for sure, now—my new reality was one where I had been touched not only by a Takumi returning with knowledge from an eclipsed future, but by my own self... I was forever a different person. And so, how could I begrudge the person who helped set me on this path, towards the seemingly-impossible end of letting go of my own anger and deep hatred? I could never begrudge him, because he helped show me something I never thought possible...

“... you just died in the end...” Motor oil-like sludge was leaking from Takumi’s skeletal eye sockets...

“Takumi... It’s all right.” I closed my eyes, running my fingers through his messy hair, lightly enough that I didn’t wake him up, but with enough tenderness to hopefully comfort him in the throes of his heart-wrenching dream... Haah, my other self is doing a poor job of comforting him, when he’s the one making him cry. I suppose that isn’t fair... making an inference to the context of what he just whispered in his sleep, I’m sure Takumi was just making himself upset...

I delicately felt his choppy hair with my fingers, trying to imagine in the darkness of my mind what he looked like... He had an adorable cowlick on the top of his head, I suppose it was a small mercy that his skeletal simulacrum didn’t have a bone sticking straight up out of its skull, or something equally silly... I can’t help but wonder what my precious monstrous Takumi really looks like. I was telling the truth when I said I didn’t even care if he was still ugly by human standards... Just from touching him like this, I could tell that he had a small, heart-shaped face... Wild hair that stuck out all over, sweeping down into his eyes... sensitive ears... Small shoulders, short fingers, but a surprising amount of lean muscle for someone so petite—he was undoubtedly strong, in both body and mind... I had a feeling that he was actually really cute. The only thing I really wanted to know was the color of his eyes... I hope I can see them someday. If I spend enough time looking at him, understanding the kind of person he is inside... I’ve been tempted to ask the others about it, but I don’t want them to tell me. One day, when he’s looking right into my eyes, I want the color to bloom into my vision like the most natural thing in the world, like it was always there. That’s how I’d like to see his eyes for the first time... haah. Since when did I become such an idealistic romantic? I must really have changed...

I opened my eyes. A blackened, charred skeleton was lying in bed next to me, with acid-eaten lumps of flesh hanging from his bones... His shredded bat wings were folded under his back, visible through his ribcage. This is my Takumi, one that the others will never know...

My eyes slid over the shredded scraps of flesh clinging to his ribs. I always tried to downplay the rotten meat aspect when I described what he looked like to him... That was really the hardest part to separate in my mind. The way his skeleton started steaming when he was embarrassed was so adorable, I wanted to hold his dusty, blackened bones to me and never let go... But when I held him too tightly, sometimes it felt as if my arm was sinking into bloated, fetid mud—like a long-lost corpse that had been recovered from a lake. It almost got to me last night when I was pressing him against me in the throes of passion—I’ll be forever grateful that I was so swept up in the kind of base desire I always looked down on, that I didn’t end up throwing up in his mouth...

“Takumi... It’ll be all right.” I gently touched the cheekbone of his skull, expecting for black charcoal to rub off on my fingers... It never did, but that didn’t stop my brain from expecting it. The pillow his skull was rolling against in his sleep should have been streaked and smeared by black soot, but it was still perfectly clean and white... If it was that easy to convince myself that the things I was seeing weren’t real, I wouldn’t have had to suffer so much in the past... Even though I have no personal experience with hallucinogenics, I’d liken it to an LSD trip—even if the person knows that they’ve taken it, and their logical mind can tell them that the distorted and fantastical things they’re seeing aren’t real—if they’re already having a “bad trip” because of it, then it’s real to them... A person can only convince themselves of so much.

“... nn.” Takumi’s clattering bones seemed to still. “... you really have changed...” He said it so reverently, in that soft tone he uses to speak to me... I wonder what my other self is saying to him.

I closed my eyes, feeling his cute messy hair that wasn’t there when my eyes were open. “Don’t get too cozy with the other me in there, Takumi... You’ll make me jealous, haha...” I laid down beside him, so close his hair was tickling my nose...

I couldn’t help but replay that conversation with my other self in my head... Well, “selves”, although that other one was certainly not invited...

◑ ● ◐

An hour or so earlier, deep in a dream...

◑ ● ◐

“I see... Are you sure it wouldn’t benefit me to just be transparent with Takumi about what you’ve told me?” I looked up at my other self with the dark glasses. “Whether it’s the ‘right’ thing to do is subjective—although, I’d prefer to be as honest with him as possible, just as a matter of principle.”

“I understand how you feel.” He crossed his leg, floating in a black void of nothing. His body language was somewhat effeminate... Is that really what I look like to others? Well, it’s of no great importance to me... “But I have my reasons for asking that you keep this to yourself. It’s for your benefit, as well as Takumi’s.”

I sighed. “Well, knowing me—your logic is probably this.” I held up my first finger. “You want to test that I’ll trust Takumi, even though I don’t know what the big picture is. You also want to make sure that Takumi is able to trust me—if he knows that my entire worldview has changed, then he’ll be frustrated until I pull a complete one-eighty.” I smiled to myself. “You want him to be able to accept me as I am, but you also don’t want me to suffer unnecessarily... I’m shocked that there’s a version of me out there who can be so considerate.”

“Yes, well... I was able to change thanks to the others believing in me.” He hugged himself. “I imagine you just experienced second-hand embarrassment from hearing that—believe me, it wasn’t any easier to say.”

“I believe it...”

He had a small smile. “Well—it is true, at any rate. Let this be my advice to you—make an honest effort to get to know the others. Not just because Takumi told you to—you can’t just be a whipped husband begrudgingly doing whatever his nagging ball-and-chain asks.”

“Well...”

“I don’t care how much you secretly enjoy Takumi being bossy with you—you need to keep an open mind and do what he asks with sincerity, or not at all.”

“... I can’t believe my own self would call me out like this.”

“There’s no point beating around the bush. The only person either of us can be completely honest with is ourselves.”

“I suppose that’s true.”

The other me pushed up his dark glasses. “Well... most of us. Some of us are still unfathomably incapable of being honest with themselves, even once the jig is up.”

The other other me was seething in the darkest corner of the black void, gnashing his teeth uselessly like a chained dog in a yard. “If you’ve seen what I’ve seen... the two of you wouldn’t uselessly follow Takumi around like dogs, sniffing after him like the sun shines out of his ass.”

“I’m shocked to hear you say something so vulgar.”

“Yes—I find cursing rather distasteful, to say nothing of your mixed metaphor.”

He clenched his fists, grinding his teeth so intensely I’m surprised they didn’t break apart. “You’re both blinded by your pathetic desire to be accepted—you’re even willing to throw away the ambition that gave your life purpose. It’s truly a fate worse than death.”

The other me sighed. “You know what the worst part of your horrible attitude is? You’re the one who had the best chance with Takumi.” The other other me—the one Takumi dubbed “Asshole Eito”—froze on the spot. “Your first time around, when you were pretending to play nice with the others—Takumi genuinely liked you, you know. He told me that he thought of you as a reliable ally and friend, which is why it upset him so much when you stabbed him in the back.” He sighed. “If you had just relaxed and stopped caring so much about your grudge against humanity, I’m sure you could’ve taken his hand and lived happily, without dragging the rest of us into this endless cycle...”

“You don’t know anything!!” He jut his arm out. “I was just faking the whole time—that was never the real me!!” His breath was coming in ragged. “Takumi never liked me—he didn’t know me! As soon as I revealed my true nature, he cursed me and killed me... He’d never—” He finally realized that he’d revealed far too much, and shut his mouth instantly.

“Haah... It’s embarrassing to know that there’s a version of us out there who’s this much of a un-self-aware idiot.”

“Indeed...”

He seethed, his fists clenched tightly at his side. “I’d rather be an idiot than—a simp!!”

“A what?”

“Oh, I learned what that term means—” My other self held up a gloved finger demonstratively. “It means a person—usually a man—who is so enraptured with another person that their reason leaves them. They’ll do anything for that person, even self-destructive or humiliating actions—apparently, this term mainly applies to pathetic men who futilely attempt to impress or court a woman who, to the clear observation of everyone else around them, will never return his affections. But he keeps trying, because he is a ‘simp’.” He nodded with finality.

“I see... But, Takumi does return my affection—rather passionately, in fact!”

“Haha...” My other self laughed coldly, a razor-sharp icicle in his voice. “I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t rub that in...”

“Oh—I apologize.”

“Um...” A small voice resounded directly in my mind. “I apologize for interrupting...”

“Oh, Shion—there you are.” My other self smiled warmly, while a swirling magenta conflagration floated in through the black void. His expression shocked me—I’d never seen myself smiling like that, not even when I was practicing in the mirror. He really did get along with Shion... At least, with that version of him from their timeline. Takumi must not have been exaggerating... I feel a little guilty for doubting him. It was just hard to imagine me “getting along relatively well” with anyone, like that overly-sexual black cloud that followed him around—so I assumed he must be polishing up the truth a bit to encourage me... Hmph. That black cloud was the real simp here, not me...

The swirling flame appeared to turn to me next. “I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation... I just wanted you to know that I heard a voice in Takumi’s heart last night.” I couldn’t see him, but his tone was gentle and reverent. He must think so highly of Takumi... “It said, ‘I really like him—I want to be closer.’”

A cold wind blew through the black void.

My other self sighed, clutching his forehead. “Shion... Takumi is allowed to have some private thoughts, you know.”

“Oh... Was that wrong of me to repeat?” His flames flickered. “I apologize... I just thought it was obvious, even though Takumi hasn’t said so out loud...”

“Haah... Oh, dear.” I rubbed my eyes behind my glasses. “I suppose I really don’t have any privacy, with all of your swirling around inside my precious Takumi...”

“Haha... Surely I misheard you.” My other self’s laugh was sharp as a razor’s edge. “Takumi doesn’t belong to anyone, let alone you...”

“Oh, but—”

“Shion, please—and do me a favor in the future. When Mommy and Daddy are having alone time, please send your consciousness to sleep...”

“Oh, dear... Why did you have to bring that up...”

“Ah—that’s not fair.” Shion’s gentle voice took on a firmer edge. “I just want Takumi to be happy, too—it’s not fair for you to tell me that I have to leave.” There was a pause while his flames licked strongly. “I want to be with Takumi as long as I can, before we all have to return to bloodspace...”

At some point, I noticed that Asshole Eito had disappeared. He was probably wracked with both jealousy and second-hand embarrassment after hearing the “voice inside Takumi’s heart”...

... “Really like”, huh... Well, I suppose it’s too much to ask that Takumi falls in love with me just like that. Just because I insist on it... Oh, dear—maybe I am the “simp”.

The other me pat Shion’s shoulder—at least, I assume so, I still couldn’t see a person inside that shapeless swirling flame... “I understand. I’m sorry for making such a selfish request.”

“Hmm... It does beg the question, though.” As much as I didn’t want to bring it up again...

“Oh—don’t worry. It isn’t like that—it’s not as if our consciousnesses are sitting around inside Takumi, looking out through his eyes and eating popcorn.” The other me smiled. “It’s more like... We’re a part of him now, and experience his feelings as himself, rather than feeling them vicariously as ourselves... It’s hard to explain.” Hrm... It sounds so intimate, why does that almost make me jealous... “The only time we can separate our consciousnesses from his is through a dream, like this... Otherwise, I wouldn’t exactly be eager to be present while making love to myself...”

“Indeed—the thought is rather unnerving.”

“Oh.” Shion’s voice was flat. “So that’s what you meant...” His flame flickered. “If you’ll excuse me...” The purple fire extinguished, and he was gone.

The other me sighed. “He’s so innocent... he probably had no idea.”

“Well, I certainly hope not...”

He turned to me, although he wasn’t looking exactly in my direction. “Well—that’s all I wanted to discuss with you. As hard as it may seem, it’s for the best that you keep what you know from Takumi. At least, for now...”

A swirling flame burst forth again from the void. “Ah, wait—I must interject.” Shion’s flames flickered wildly. “I don’t think you should be dishonest with Takumi—even if you think it’s for the ‘greater good’. I don’t like it... You should be transparent with him. He’s placing so much trust in you...”

The black void was quiet, not even Shion’s flames made a sound.

My other self sighed, reaching into the fire to pat his back comfortingly, I imagine. “Sometimes these things require more nuance, Shion. Let me see if I can phrase it another way—ah. You’ve heard of that fairy tale about the crazy old inventor’s daughter, who takes his place as a prisoner of a castle lorded over by a hideous beast?”

“Oh, yes—that was one of the stories I listened to in my pod. Although, I thought the young woman’s father was a merchant.”

“Well, the versions vary on the details, but—the ultimate point is, that the young woman falls in love with the beast, despite his appearance. Since she learned to see what was inside, and since the selfish and shallow Prince let her go free because he grew to love her, even though he knew that doing so would curse him and his entire castle for eternity—the enchantress recognized that his heart had changed, and the curse placed on the castle was broken. The Prince is restored to his former self, and the two live happily ever after.”

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes, even though I also brought up this analogy with Takumi. “His true form is apparently also handsome, of course—and the young woman herself is beautiful, we can’t have a morality tale about accepting an ugly woman’s inner beauty, after all...”

“Oh...”

My other self sighed. “Please don’t muddy the metaphor.” He pushed up his dark glasses. “At any rate—what do you think would happen if the young lady was aware that the beast keeping her captive was really a handsome Prince under a curse, and all she needed to do to break it was accept him for what was inside his heart?”

“Well... I imagine that the same thing would happen.” Shion answered without missing a beat.

My other self’s eyebrows went up. “And why do you think that?”

“Well... I assume that the enchantress has some way of objectively measuring how much the Prince has ‘changed’, which prompts her to reverse her curse.” His flames flickered. “It stands to reason that she can also tell whether the young beauty’s feelings are genuine or not... So, even if the young beauty knows that the beast is really a Prince, as long as she learns to love him sincerely, then I don’t see the difference... If we reverse the question, then even if the beast knows that setting the young lady free will show that he’s changed and break the curse—he still doesn’t know that she’ll come back to him in the end. Letting her go is the right thing to do, and it proves how much he cares for her, so... I don’t believe the enchantress would continue to punish him for that.”

My other self had a small, almost-imperceptible smile. “So, that’s how you feel about it...”

“Um... Is that wrong?”

“No—it’s not wrong. Just because our opinions are different, it doesn’t mean one is wrong and one is right. It’s more like another face of the prism on the shining crystal of truth...”

I almost laughed. “That’s quite the analogy...”

“Haha... Well, I thought you might appreciate it.”

Shion’s flames flickered. “Well... Then just consider that my truth. I think you and Takumi should be a united front—being open and honest is the best way to achieve that.”

My other self smirked at me. “Well, then—you now have both of our opinions.” He pushed up his glasses—I wonder if he ever became aware of that little gold smudge. “I’ll leave it to your discretion. It’s not my place to tell you what to do—so, I hope you’ll use your best judgement on whether or not you want to reveal what you know to Takumi, and when.”

I nodded. “I will. I’ll consider it carefully.”

“Good... I’m sure that you will.”

I heard Shion’s soft sigh of relief. “I’m glad... Thank you for hearing me out.”

I started feeling just a little guilty... It was hard to be told I was “close” to someone in some other timeline... What was I supposed to do with that information? But... Listening to the other Shion, the one who still lived on in Takumi’s heart, and seeing the elusive smile on my other self’s face as he talked to him... I think I finally understand.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me—I’m getting withdrawals being away from my sweet Takumi for so long, so I’ll be visiting him in his dream...”

“Ahaha... Surely you haven’t forgotten your own words? Takumi doesn’t belong to anyone, let alone you...”

“Haha... Those words were for you, me...”

“Um... Please, don’t fight.” Shion’s meek voice piped up.

I have to wake up right now—I can’t let this guy get to Takumi first, I have to wake him up so I can kiss him some more—he promised, after all—

◑ ● ◐

I was watching the bones of his ribcage expand and contract while he breathed... Stupid dark glasses me, he got to Takumi first, and now I didn’t have the heart to wake him up...

“Haah...” I sighed, letting my head relax against the pillow. His hand felt warm in mine... He didn’t just feel like a pile of bones when I closed my eyes. Freezing off my mucus membranes did help me to be more comfortable around Takumi, but I had no intention of mutilating myself more than this... It would probably only upset him, anyway. But holding his hand like this, feeling the warmth of his flesh and blood... I can understand why my other self did what he did. I almost feel bad for him... He went through all that, and he still wasn’t able to be honest with Takumi. He was never able to hold him like this... I suppose it’s rather petty of me to be jealous then, isn’t it?

“... hrm...” I felt Takumi stirring next to me. “... happy for yourself...”

“Takumi?”

He was still asleep, but his skeleton squirmed around, his skull turning to face me on the pillow. His limp bony fingers closed around mine. I wonder in which context he said that—“You should just be happy for yourself” or “I’m glad you’re finally happy for yourself”?

“... mmh.” He rolled over to face me, a spark shining from the blackness of his eye sockets. “Morning, again... you’re still here.”

I laughed softly. “Of course I’m still here—where else would I be?” I squeezed his hand.

“Mmh...” I closed my eyes just in time—I felt his soft lips, instead of ashy bone. “Well, I’m awake now...”

“So I see...” I leaned over him, stockpiling all those wonderful kisses he promised me... It’s still a bit shocking that I could not only tolerate this kind of intimacy with another human, but crave it and treasure it...

“Mn...” Ah—that little soft moan he made was so cute... I loved it... I’ll never forget the sight of him last night, an aurora of flames shooting up all around him... He was so beautiful. “... I’m glad Sirei didn’t catch you and fly off the handle...”

“Well, you’ve returned to us from Dreamland at last, Sumino!”

My heart stopped in my chest—that horrible little goblin Sirei was standing on the couch, grinning at us.

Takumi scrambled up, black ash falling off his skeleton. “What are you doing in my room?!”

“I’m a very straightforward man, Sumino—I thought I was crystal clear with my rules?” If I had my Infuser, I’d—“I was generous enough to allow you to be alone unsupervised with a malcontent like Aotsuki... All I asked was that you keep your door propped open, as a safety measure. That isn’t too much to ask, is it?” He pointed his cane right at Takumi—

I shielded him with my arms. “Don’t even think about it, you little troll—or I’ll tell everyone what I know.” I stared him down. “It wouldn’t be too good for morale if everyone lost their reason to fight, don’t you think?” I gave him a look that conveyed I wasn’t bluffing.

There was a dark shadow under Sirei’s hat. “You think you’re in a position to be threatening me, Aotsuki?”

“I know I am.”

Sirei peered at me with his beady little eyes for what felt like an eternity.

“Yeesh...” He shrugged with a little ‘whew’. “Take it easy, soldier—I wasn’t about to blow up Sumino’s bomb or anything.” He winked obnoxiously, thrusting up his malformed thumb... “It wouldn’t be much of a punishment—the Revive-O-Matic would just patch him right up, anyway!”

Takumi gently placed a skeletal hand on my arm, signaling that it was all right now... “What did you have in mind, then?” His voice was even. “I did break the rules—I’m not trying to weasel out of it.”

Sirei pointed his cane at both of us. “I’m glad you asked, Sumino—I sentence you both to a full day of hard labor!”

“Hard labor?!”

“That’s right! Ohoho—we’re running low on materials, and Daddy Sirei needs a new pair of shoes!” He winked... “So get me some cloth and stone for the Gift-O-Matic—oh, and plant and mechanical parts, too. On the double!” He tapped his cane down with finality. “And don’t think I’ll let the two of you wander around out there unsupervised—I’m sending that hothead Yakushiji with you.” Great... the meathead gang-banger. “He’s tough enough to be able to knock you both out if either of you step out of line!”

Takumi sighed. “That’s fine... I’m assuming we have to carry all the materials back by hand?”

“Oho—now you’re getting it, Sumino!”

Well, all things considered, that isn’t even that harsh of a punishment—but if I didn’t complain, he might tack more onto it. “I don’t suppose you’ll at least allow us to eat breakfast before wandering about in the wilderness?”

“Breakfast? It’s past noon, you slugabeds!” Sirei hopped up and down, his face red. I wonder what the point of all this exaggerating emoting is... Oh, did he say past noon? “Hmph—what would you have done if invaders attacked while you were off on your honeymoon?!” Oh, dear... “Go out and fight with your Little Aotsuki in your hand?!” On second thought, this punishment was quite severe indeed... I don’t know if I’ll ever recover from Sirei seeing Takumi and I in such a compromising position...

◑ ● ◐

Takumi listlessly tore into the MRE that Sirei had so graciously shoved into our packs... “That didn’t actually happen, right? I’m still dreaming...”

I sighed. “Unfortunately, Takumi, it did happen.” I pat his back, a bit of black dust falling from his skeleton. “But...” I leaned down to his earhole, so that meathead walking ahead of us didn’t hear. “I don’t regret it at all—you were so cute, I’ve fallen in love with you all over again! Haha...”

“... hrm.” Takumi pressed his skeletal hands over his skull—he was so cute when he was embarrassed. Ah—steam was rising from his bones, right on cue... “Me neither...”

“Hm? What?” I wasn’t sure I heard him correctly...

His black eye sockets held a spark of life. “Me, neither... I don’t regret it.”

“Ah... I’m so touched... Maybe Sirei did blow up my bomb, and I’m in heaven...”

“Pft.” His small laugh was so cute, it made my heart skip a beat whenever I managed to make him laugh like that... No wonder I fell in love with him in every timeline, even the crazier versions of me. Oh—but that was supposed to be a secret.

◑ ● ◐

◑ ● ◐

◑ ● ◐

🌚🌝

We finally get Eito’s perspective! I wasn’t sure if that was something I wanted to do in this fic, given the premise—but it’s kind of my thing lol, all but one of my works on here all have dual narrators (Mandala even has four so far). I just hope his internal monologue sounded like him, and distinct enough from Takumi’s ^_^

My old writing style was actually always in the first-person “I”, but more recently I adopted a more omniscient third person “he” writing style—but I knew Takumi’s just had to be in first person, and now I feel like I can’t go back to third XD Just a little peek behind the curtain lol

But yeah, woof—you can thank/blame this chapter on that sad asf “Praying For Your Happiness” ending D’X Also... I’m not above admitting that I was lying in bed thinking about it afterwards, and getting ideas for what ended up becoming this chapter—and I straight-up cried imagining Takumi clinging to Dark Glasses Eito, saying, “It’s not fair!” D’X

This might seem like an odd comparison, but it reminds me of my favorite horror manga “The Summer Hikaru Died”. A young boy’s friend disappears in the mountains, and is replaced by “something”... And because that “something” has all of his friend Hikaru’s memories, he realizes that Hikaru always had feelings for him, but never said anything... But it’s too late to do anything with those feelings now, since the real Hikaru is gone. This “thing” pretending to be Hikaru isn’t him, and it’s dangerous to be around it... but it’s the only thing he has, the only outlet for his own hidden feelings that he realized too late... It’s sad asf man, I was super stoked that that one actually got officially licensed in English. Here’s hoping they don’t eff up that anime adaptation like Uzumaki 🤞

Anyway—sorry for the Sirei jumpscare at the end XD Geez, Dad—just leave me alone and let me live my life!!

Lol this is starting to feel like an episodic 90s anime XD But I like the pace—it keeps me motivated without getting burnt out :) Thanks for reading, see ya again~

Chapter Text

Chapter 12 – Eyes Unclouded

[Author’s Notes: I used to format all the notes like this in the text of the chapter itself, being an ancient fanfiction dot net transplant haha. That’s why it comes up in the comments ^_^ I decided there’s no good reason to not do it the proper way after becoming aware of it though, so an old dog can learn new tricks! ✌️]

A cloud of dust blew across the desolate landscape, pock-marked with broken concrete and twisted metal. Bombed-out buildings glinted in the sun, leaned against each other like crooked teeth. All this destruction, because the humans and Futurans couldn’t communicate with each other... On a planet as vast and lush as this, there would’ve been plenty of room for a few hundred thousand refugees to settle... Humans really are foolish. It’s like conflict is baked into their DNA...

Eito was peering around the destroyed buildings, his expression stony in disgust. “Humans truly are abominable creatures...”

“For once... we agree.”

He smiled widely. “You know, it’s not too late, Takumi... We’d make an unstoppable team if you decided to destroy all humans with me...”

“I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t even joke about that.” I didn’t let up scanning the wreckage for any “invaders” waiting to ambush us... I don’t know how V’ehxness managed to turn humans and Futurans into those things, but I doubt the process was reversible... As it stood, I just had to accept that the most merciful option was putting them out of their misery.

Takemaru trudged along ahead of us on foot, conserving his energy by not manifesting his bike. “Hey... Why do you think we can’t read these signs?” He picked up a partially-melted street sign, written in an indecipherable Futuran language. We could understand the Commanders because we were resonating directly with their hemoanima, like when we were talking to Shion—but that didn’t mean we could magically read their written language. “I mean—this is Earth, right? ‘S not like we’d just start speakin’ a totally different language up on the TRC...”

“Well—it’s certainly possible this is a ‘foreign language’, they were quite common in Earth’s antiquity.” Eito pushed up his glasses—the red makeup from his Class Armor made his eyes look quite striking. “Apparently, even humans residing on the same continent could all speak different languages. It sounds quite vexing... no wonder humans were always warring with one another.” He gave me a wry smile. “What do you think, Takumi?”

“If we can’t read it, then it must be a foreign language.” I wasn’t going to entertain his baiting way of asking—it was obvious he knew more than what he admitted. His other self told me as much—and if Asshole Eito really knew about the existence of other timelines, then it’s possible this Eito knew about them, too... But assuming that he knew too much could also make me inadvertently reveal something—like a wife asking her husband who came home late, “Where were you?” It was best to keep it vague at first and not offer up unnecessary details, unless those details were thrown at you first. As scummy as that comparison was...

“Man—shit’s wild.” Takemaru stepped around a huge crater in the street. “Hard to imagine those tiny little invader fuckers could cause this much damage—those Commanders must be somethin’ else.”

“Hard to imagine, indeed...”

“Haah...” Takemaru sighed in annoyance. “Look, man—I’m not dumb, ya know.” He glared at Eito over his shoulder, his hands shoved in his uniform’s coat pockets. “You keep sayin’ shit with this wink-wink, nudge-nudge—if you know so much, then let’s hear it.” He turned to face us, his brows furrowed sharply. “Don’t beat around the bush like a little weasel—tell us what you know, man!”

Eito’s eyes flicked to me, a disingenuous smile on his face. “Well—I imagine that Takumi would be rather cross with me if I just blurted out what I know. He’s been waiting for his big moment, after all!”

I looked right in his eyes. “I’d like to know what you supposedly know, too.”

He didn’t respond right away. “Haha... Are you sure? What I know could be rather devastating for your gang-banger friend here.”

“Go ahead.” I maintained eye contact. “I planned on telling everyone else, eventually.” Eito didn’t avert his gaze, either. “Takemaru’s strong—he can handle the truth, whatever it turns out to be.”

Eito studied my face. I’m not sure what I look like to him right now, but I hope he can pick up on the fact that I’m not bluffing, either. His other self gave me his word that he didn’t tell him anything “devastating” or that he “couldn’t handle at this stage”... And Eito wouldn’t just blurt out an unconfirmed theory, potentially making himself look stupid later...

He pushed up his glasses. “Well... Let me ask you this instead.” He turned his false smile on Takemaru. “Where did the ‘invaders’ come from?”

“Huh?” Takemaru fanned his coat out a little, his hands still in his pockets. “They’re the result of World Death, right?” He rubbed the back of his neck. “The planet was so angry for humans destroyin’ the environment, it sent all kinds of natural disasters our way... The invaders are just another wave of that.”

“But, does that really make sense?” Eito spoke gently, like he was talking to a child... “Natural disasters are far more destructive than any squishy ground forces... And if the ‘invaders’ are just another form of World Death manifesting, why would wiping them out halt that process in any way? Isn’t it already too late?”

Takemaru scratched the back of his hair. “I dunno, man... Maybe if the Earth sees us fightin’ so hard to protect it and hang onto it, it’ll stop wantin’ to destroy itself...”

“‘Protect it’?” Eito gestured to the devastation all around us. “How could the Earth possibly forgive us for all this?”

“Look man—we’re not the ones who destroyed our own cities!” Suddenly, Takemaru’s amber eyes widened. “Uh...” He looked to the side, gritting his teeth in contemplation.

“Aww—you’re so close!”

“Eito...” I sighed, taking a step towards Takemaru. “Look—Eito’s being a dick about it, but I do want all of you to be able to think about this war for yourselves, and about the role we want to play.” Even if we all decided to do the “right” thing last time, I don’t want to lead the others around by the nose, telling them that I know best... “Sirei’s not here, so... Now’s the time to consider whether what he’s told us so far is really the whole truth.”

Takemaru sighed loudly. “You prolly have all the answers, right, Takumi? Why don’t you just tell me, man?”

“I could... I plan on telling you and everyone else eventually, when I feel the time is right—but I still want you to think it through for yourself.”

“Haah... Well, shit.” He blew a raspberry with his lips. “Guess I gotta put my money where my mouth is... All right, Takumi.” He just barely stopped short of going “tch”. “I’ll show ya Takemaru Yakushiji ain’t dumb—you just leave the thinkin’ to me!” He flexed his bicep. “Why don’t you take point with Takumi for a while and show me what you’re made of, Stringbean?”

There was a palpable silence amidst the rubble. Eito pushed up his glasses. “Surely you aren’t referring to me?”

“Who else is here?” Takemaru glared at him. “You’re a skinny guy who just eats rabbit food—guess I could call you Daikon instead, ‘cause you’re pale as shit.”

Eito sighed. “Absolutely bursting with creativity, this one...”

“Hehe—you know it!” Takemaru roughly pat his own bicep. “I designed my motorcycle jacket myself, y’know!” He marched off proudly, even though he asked us to take point... It seemed like he was just fucking with Eito, there’s no way he thought that was a genuine compliment...

Eito just sighed. “Well... Let’s just let him be in his own small, little world.” He smiled down at me. “Our impromptu duel notwithstanding, this will be the first time you get to see me in action, Takumi... It’s rather exciting!” Oh—I guess that is true. “Haha... Even though you wiped the floor with me spectacularly, I’m still confident in my strength.”

“Well—you should be. You were one of the strongest people on our team, both times.”

He beamed. “Aha... Can you say that again, while patting my head?”

“Geez...” I just shook my head, but I could feel that I had a stupid smirk at his absurd suggestion. “Well—I do mean that. That’s why it sucked so much to lose you the second time...”

“Is that the only reason?”

I didn’t respond right away. “I guess looking back... Maybe it was self-indulgent of me to think you’d come around just because I spared your life. I was hoping you’d join back up with us, eventually...” Agh—I was doing it again. “Sorry—I mean ‘he’. Your other self...”

“I know what you meant, Takumi.” Eito smiled at me. “To be honest with you... I’m starting to feel less separation between me and my other self. I feel that I can understand him more...”

I peered up at him. “... Did he visit you last night, too?”

“Aha—I wonder?”

I sighed. “Well, that’s fine... It just would’ve been nice if he told me that, is all.” Oh—did he just trick me into admitting that his other self visited me in my dream last night? Oops... Well, whatever.

Takemaru was still walking ahead of us, strolling leisurely while he contemplated Eito’s cryptic words.

“So—” A shadow flitted to my right—I blocked the flurry of tentacles, slashing the floating body clean in half.

“Takumi!” Eito spun his scythe, red lightning shooting out from our position in all directions, frying a good chunk of the horde descending upon us.

“Shit—” Takemaru mounted up on his bike. “Hey—big guy!” He swung his bat, taunting the massive purple and yellow one that lumbered out. It looked stronger than the others, with black sludgy tentacles taking over its brain. “I’ll take you on!” He ran circles around the lumbering creature, getting in hits with his bat and fast swipes on his bike.

“Allow me to trim down their numbers!” Eito rushed into the crowd, melting through them with his scythe, pink blood splattering all over him.

I focused my attention on the armored orange ones, stabbing right through them with decisive strikes—I was keeping an eye on Eito, watching how he fought.

“Ah—damnit!” Takemaru got hit with a soundwave from one of those wiggly green ones—I could tell it slowed him down, that bike was propelled by his hemoanima, not gas...

“Eito—cover Takemaru!”

“I’m on it!” He zigzagged through the fodder, spinning red lightning to thin out the horde until he reached Takemaru. Each time he took one of them out, Eito’s stance changed—sometimes, it looked like he got a boost of energy, then he was lighter on his feet—his “Special Fortunetelling”.

I shot a shockwave into the air, dispatching the purple ones flying toward us. I kept one eye on Eito and Takemaru—

“Hah—you’re not too bad at crowd control, but that huge scythe ain’t just for show, is it?!”

Eito pushed up his glasses. “Certainly not.” With a sweeping slash, he cut open the purple and yellow one’s belly—pink blood spurted out, then he took a jumping sweep at its head, severing it clean off. Its massive body fell to the dirt, twitching while lumps of internal organs pulsed out from its wounds... Sorry, rest in peace, whoever you once were.

“Damn...” Takemaru was so surprised, he didn’t have time to disguise that he was impressed...

I ran around dispatching the troublesome green ones, mowing down the little gremlins with spears—overall, this wave wasn’t that tough to deal with, but—

“Hehehe...” I heard a voice echo high above us—damnit, freaking Quenzelle, he was flying around like he owned the place. “What a treat—just three of you, out here all by your lonesome?” Red eyes glowed all over his bulbous body. “Hehe... It’s too bad the Supreme Commander isn’t here to witness my flawless victory!”

“Shit—it’s a Commander!” Takemaru and Eito regrouped with me. “Damnit—was he followin’ us the whole time?!”

“He must’ve been keeping his distance—I didn’t sense him until now!”

“How easy it would be for me to simply pick you off...” Heugh—he laid those disgusting eggs from his belly, dropping them down on us. “But if I manage to not obliterate you completely, I can present your heads to our glorious leader! Ahaha!”

“Like hell!” Takemaru took off, smashing up the eggs before they could crack open.

“Eito—we can’t fight him like this.” I stood back-to-back with him, dispatching more of the small fry that crawled out of the woodwork. “We had to rely on Kurara’s anti-air artillery to shoot him down last time—the best we can hope for is that we lose him running through the buildings, and he gives up to go get reinforcements.”

“But—”

“Just trust me!” I skewered one of the purple grunts as it swung its claws, then made a run for where Quenzelle was circling above Takemaru. “Just cover me!” If I can just get close enough...

“Hahaha! Beg for your miserable lives!” Quenzelle flapped around, surprisingly agile for his bulky windfish body. I managed to stop Murvrum from taking off by sending shockwaves into the air, if I could—

“—ngh!” I clutched my chest as I ran—no, not now! Agh—why did it feel like my heart was on fire—my hemoanima was reacting to something. Was it Quenzelle, or...?

“Hey, Takumi!” Takemaru skidded his bike to a stop. “Hop on—you wanna catch that guy, right?!”

“Ngh—yeah!” I ground my fist into my chest before hopping on, holding onto Takemaru’s waist with my left arm while I kept my sword-hand ready... Even with his bike’s speed, if we couldn’t get vertical, it wouldn’t amount to anything—agh, I felt like I was having a heart attack—

“Ahaha! You pathetic invaders look just like ants from here!” Quenzelle started laying more disgusting eggs—

“Takumi!” Eito shouted from the edge of a collapsed building—he was running up the side. “Be ready to catch me!”

“What?!”

He brandished his scythe, leaping off the slanted edge of the building—the next few seconds played out in slow-motion. His scythe sailed through the air, the sunlight glinting off as a whirlwind of blood spun like a maelstrom, a sickening clash of steel and tearing flesh... 

“AAaaggGhhH—!” Quenzelle crashed into the side of a building, glass shattering—blood poured from his dented body as he managed to limp into the sky again... the scythe disappeared, Eito’s slack body sailing through the air, falling towards the ground...

“Eito!” 

I barely heard my own voice, a high-pitched whine pierced my brain, all other sound cut out... The engine exploded under us, roaring closer to where he was falling... we wouldn’t make it.

Blue flame exploded all around me—I didn’t even feel it when my back scraped along the ground, Eito’s body sacked me like a ton of potatoes... I was staring straight up at the sky, not seeing or comprehending...

“—kumi!”

Oh... I must’ve jumped from the bike while it was still moving. How’d I make it to where he was falling...?

Feeling returned to my fingers, and I became aware of the weight of a body collapsed on top of me, of the burning sting in my back... My skin must’ve gotten scraped up skidding across the asphalt... ow...

I pushed his hair out of his face... his eyes were closed, there was a small crack in his glasses. “Eito? Are you okay...” Suddenly, all my feeling returned, clarity burst into my mind—“Oh my God—Eito?!” I vigorously shook his shoulder. “Hey—say something!”

“... mngh...” I just barely heard a raspy groan escape his lips. “... hah... you caught me, Takumi...” And he was out. I felt under his nose—he was still breathing. He just fainted... thank God.

“Whoa—what the hell were you thinkin’ dude?!” Takemaru dispelled his bike, taking a knee next to us. “You okay, Takumi?!”

“I’m fine... I think my back got scraped up a little, but it’s nothing I can’t handle...” I realized I was subconsciously rubbing Eito’s back. “He’s unconscious—but he’s breathing.”

“Shit—you used some crazy power to fly off the bike, it looked like Shion’s flames, but blue...”

“Oh... I did?” Well, I guess that makes sense... The flames around my sword did turn blue when I came back, after absorbing Shion’s hemoanima through the first Eito. Why does my brain still feel fuzzy...? Maybe it’s just the adrenaline...

Takemaru put his hand on Eito’s shoulder. “You sure this guy’s okay? He just wore himself out using that crazy technique?”

“Yeah—he just burned through a bunch of his power. I don’t feel any broken bones... I won’t be surprised if he’s bruised up after this, though.” I’d seen him use that technique countless times before... I just hope he wasn’t injured from the fall, he’s still not registered in the Revive-O-Matic—we won’t be able to just patch up broken bones when we get back. “What were you thinking? You idiot...” I pat his back, finally feeling spent after all the adrenaline ran out of me...

百

Takemaru adjusted the sack full of materials over his shoulder. “Hey—you sure you don’t want me to take him for a bit?”

I shifted Eito’s weight on my back. “I’m fine—I’ll let you know if it becomes too much, though.” I curved my back just enough so his body slumped into me—he was actually on the lighter side for a guy his height, although his long limbs made him awkward to carry when he was dead weight... “Haha... It might sound odd, but it’s a bit nostalgic, carrying him on my back like this...”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.” I had a small smile to myself. “My first time around, Eito was more vocally against just taking Sirei at his word, and he refused to fight... Then, he disappeared on his own outside the wall of fire, and your other self and Darumi came with me to go rescue him... Then I carried him on my back just like this.” I shifted him up a little, so his arms collapsed around my neck more comfortably. I could feel his light breathing when his ribcage expanded... “I think...” I let the words die on my lips. That was kinda private... I was about to say that that’s when he started resenting me, and probably when he developed his weird crush on me at the same time...

Now that I think about it, when I was carrying him back that time—I’m pretty sure I said something cheesy to him about “not leaving our friend behind” and “all of us making it out of this together”—so he was probably just mimicking me when he became the cheesy friendship speech guy. I remember after that, when he turned around and saved us from Murvrum, he said, “It’s been a long time since someone thought of me as a friend.” At the time I thought, “Wow, that’s really sad...” But that wasn’t just part of his cover story—that must’ve just been true. Actually... I remember something else. That night, after he acted all shocked when we found Sirei’s remains... He visited me in my room, and said some other cheesy stuff about relying on each other, and he even shook my hand... Right after that, he said he was feeling “queasy” and needed to go rest. He really didn’t need to go out of his way to do that to maintain his cover story... I wonder if he was just trying to find out if he could genuinely stomach being around me. First Timeline Eito really was the most complicated... I should probably stop calling him “Asshole Eito” in my mind.

I shifted Eito’s limp body up a bit in my arms. “Well—I’ll try to carry him as long as I can.” I rolled my eyes. “Knowing this guy, he’ll pitch a fit if you’re the one carrying him when he wakes up...”

Takemaru scratched the back of his hair. “What’s the deal with that, anyway?”

“I don’t really have a short answer... Have you ever heard that there’s a fine line between ‘love’ and ‘hate’?”

“Geez... Doesn’t sound right to me.” Takemaru shoved his free hand in his pockets. “If you ask me, love’s supposed to be unconditional—like how my Mom loves me.” ... I’m glad Eito wasn’t awake to hear him say that.

I smiled. “You really have a big heart, Takemaru.”

“Aw... Shit...” He tried and failed to hide his embarrassment, turning away from me as he walked.

百

“... mmh...” I finally felt Eito stirring on my back.

“Hey—you awake now?” I stopped walking, curving my back a little. “How’re you holding up?”

His limp arms wrapped around me a little more snugly. “Aha... How embarrassing... I thought I’d show off a little... now you’re the one carrying me, like a sack of potatoes...”

“Well, there’s no helping that...” He was probably capable of walking now, but I’m sure he’ll milk getting to cling onto me like this for as long as he can... “You did manage to drive off the Commander—you got him pretty good, I’ll praise you for that.”

“Aha... can you say that again... while patting my head...”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not going to do that, because you were stupidly reckless—jumping off the building like that. Even if we were closer to the school, you still haven’t been re-registered in the Revive-O-Matic.”

“Ah... But, I wouldn’t have been able to reach him otherwise...”

“That doesn’t mean you should’ve done it—I was barely able to catch you, I’m not even sure how I managed it...”

Eito rested his face in my neck—“I knew you’d catch me, Takumi... Haven’t you heard the phenomenon of mothers being able to lift cars when their children are trapped underneath...?”

“Geez...” What an embarrassing comparison... But I knew what he meant. It was like my body moved on pure instinct—“Hey, Takemaru?” I almost forgot he was there for a second. “What did you say it looked like, when I jumped off the bike—blue flame?”

He rubbed his jaw. “Yeah—it was more like you flew, you shot off like a rocket—and a whole swirl of blue flame was around ya. I didn’t get burned by it—that’s why I said it reminded me of Shion’s.”

“I see...” Well... that was certainly different. Was that the result of absorbing the second Shion’s hemoanima on top of everything else? If I developed another power even close to his... no wonder I was having so much trouble containing it. “Oh, hey—did either of you see anyone else besides the flying Commander?” I licked my lips. “Like, someone in a black hood...”

“A black hood? Nah—‘sides that big ugly one floatin’ around, I didn’t see any other Commanders—just small fry invaders.” I flinched—if I could help it, I didn’t want to refer to the little ones as “invaders” anymore. They were once human, and Futuran... I don’t think it would benefit anyone to tell them that right now, but... “Why, Takumi?”

“Well... Last time I got that pain in my chest, it was from my hemoanima reacting to one of the Commanders... at least, I think so.” Maybe it was just Quenzelle, after all... But even the second time we fought him, when everyone was all powered-up, he was never really that strong... I was starting to get a bad feeling. Well—if it was V’ehxness, I imagine that painful feeling would be off the charts—and I kind of doubt she’d be out here in the middle of nowhere watching Quenzelle’s fight, she didn’t seem to respect him at all as an underling... Plus, if she was all the way out here, it’d take her just as long to get to the school, and the wall of fire would still give her trouble... Sirei didn’t really give us a quota for how many materials we had to collect, just “as many as we could carry”—so maybe we should turn back as soon as Eito was able to walk on his own.

“Huh—well, let’s keep an eye out.” Takemaru’s sharp eyes scanned our surroundings, watching the sky. That red warpaint really did give him a wild look, seeing his sharp eyes without his signature shades...

“... ah, Takumi?” Eito stirred on my back. “I think I can walk now... More than that, what is this wet spot on your back? It feels like you’re bleeding...”

“It’s nothing—the Revive-O-Matic will patch me up when we get back.” I came to a stop so he could climb down.

“Well... All right.” Eito gingerly set his feet on the ground, finally letting go of my back. “But allow me to patch you up for the return trip, at least.”

“... All right, I guess it couldn’t hurt.” I looked all around us... just a little farther south, and we’d be at the beach. “Let’s take shelter here...”

The three of us ducked into the cool shade of a bombed-out building that looked like it used to be an office. The vinyl blinds were still drawn over the window, a desk with an illegible nameplate sitting abandoned in front of it...

I dispelled my Class Armor, instantly feeling the blood soak into my shirt... I took off my jacket and set it on the desk, carefully peeling off my shirt as I sat on the swiveling desk chair. I wonder how quickly these cities were abandoned... We never even came across settlements of survivors in either of my timelines, just those two relay stations...

“I’ll keep a lookout.” Takemaru stood in the shadow of the doorway, watching the dusty street outside.

Eito stood behind me, carefully unwrapping the gauze and antiseptic wash we brought with us... “This will sting a little.” He squirted the cool liquid onto my shoulder—I grit my teeth, feeling the burn. “I’ll be gentle.” He delicately wiped the scrape on my back with a clean sterile cloth, then I felt the cool touch of antibacterial gel being applied... “It actually doesn’t look that bad... gauze will probably irritate it more, so I’ll just tape another sterile cloth over it with bandages.”

“That’s fine—whatever you think is best.”

I closed my eyes while he delicately taped the sterile pad around my shoulderblade. I got little tingles when he smoothed down the bandages with his finger to make sure it stuck. It was kind of just hitting me... You’d think I’d feel more embarrassed or shy being out here with Eito and someone else, like we were sharing a secret... But for some reason, it still didn’t feel that different. I guess... This wasn’t the first timeline where we ended up together, so even though it’s a first for “me”, it’s old news in the grand scheme of things... who knows. That was kind of a sad thought, though... I guess another way of looking at it was that I was already comfortable enough with him that it just felt like a given, the next logical progression... That was a bit more embarrassing, but oddly—

“There... This should at least keep it clean until we get back.”

I rolled my shoulder a little, testing the give of the bandage. “Thanks for doing that.”

“... I’m sure you’ll get mad if I kiss it to make it feel better.”

“Pft...” I put my shirt back on, carefully pulling it down around the bandage. “... maybe later.” I said it quietly so Takemaru didn’t hear, but it was still a bit embarrassing... I didn’t dare look at Eito, but he probably had a stupid grin on his face...

I steadied myself as I stabbed my heart with my Infuser, feeling the painful flood of hemoanima all throughout my body... My Class Armor smoothly formed around me over top of the bandage.

“Good—we can keep going, now.”

Eito was still looking at me, his expression just a bit crestfallen. “I’m sorry you got hurt, Takumi—although I’m grateful it wasn’t worse. Ah—thank you for catching me, I don’t remember if I said that already.”

“You’re welcome... You can thank me by not being reckless like that again, okay?”

“Haha... Well—” I was sure he was about to say, “I can’t promise you that” until he saw the look on my face. “... I suppose I can stand to practice a little more self-preservation. Since it’s you who’s asking, Takumi.” I rolled my eyes. He was starting to sound like a whipped husband... Gah—where did that thought come from??

Takemaru was still gazing out the building like a hawk. “Hey... You weren’t too shabby out there, Stringbean.” He leaned against the doorframe, folding his arms. “Just listen to Takumi and don’t do somethin’ fuckin’ dumb like that again.”

Eito winked at me. “Well if I made Takumi cry, he’d never forgive me!”

“Ugh...” I rolled out my shoulder, making sure the makeshift bandage stayed in place... “—let’s get going. I want to go a bit farther, then we should turn back.”

“Sure...” Takemaru pushed off the doorframe. “Anywhere you wanna get to in particular, Takumi?”

I smiled to myself. “Yeah.”

百

The two of them peered out from atop the craggy cliff covered in shrubs. The ocean stretched on endlessly in the distance, glittering under the strong gaze of the afternoon sun... The foamy waves lapped up onto a filthy beach littered with debris, wreckage, dead seaweed, and trash.

“So... that’s the ocean.” Eito’s brows were sloped. “I’ve only seen photos of it in books. It is beautiful...”

Takemaru walked up to the edge of the cliff. “Too bad about that beach though... looks like this spot’s been abandoned a long time. It’d take forever to try an’ clean it up...”

A salty breeze rustled my bangs. “It will take a while... But with enough effort, we can probably do it.”

“Us?”

I smiled. “Yeah—we never got to go to the beach last time, even though we talked about it.” I turned back to them. “That’s why I wanted to show you guys this spot.”

“Uh huh...” Takemaru rubbed his jaw, then a grin spread on his face. “Yeah—maybe us guys can come back out here and do some beach cleanup for strength training. Some of those barrels’n shit look pretty big...”

“That sounds like a great idea.” As much as I’d like to take everyone, we couldn’t just leave the school undefended, even for one day. “We can take turns—us guys can stay behind next so the girls can enjoy the beach, too. Or we can mix up the groups—whatever works best for everyone.”

Eito pushed up his glasses, not saying anything. I can only imagine what he’s thinking... “Well, I suppose I can tolerate everyone’s company if it means I get to enjoy the beach with Takumi.” Probably exactly that...

“How far can Shion send his avatar away from the school?”

“What?”

Surprisingly, Eito turned to me with a small smile. “Do you know how far his range is? Would it eat up too much of his energy to get all the way out here?”

I rubbed my chin. “That’s a good question... There was never a need for him to go very far before. I know he can at least go out into the schoolyard, past the defensive barrier...”

Takemaru folded his arms, gazing out at sea. “That little guy’s only got one shot at life, then he’ll get burned up once these hundred days are over, huh...” He rubbed his eyes under his sunglasses. “Agh—damn salty sea breeze, gettin’ in my eyes...”

A cool wind blew through the shrubs lining the barren cliffside, the waves crashing far below us.

百

“How you guys holdin’ up?” Takemaru was walking at my other side this time, instead of ahead of us.

“I’m still fine—does anyone need any water?”

Eito pushed his glasses up. “I don’t right now, but I am getting a little hungry... At this point, I’d rather wait until we get back to the school than dig into those hard-tack rations.”

“Tch—it’s no wonder you’re so hungry, you gotta eat more!”

“Aha... I don’t remember asking for your opinion.”

Takemaru clenched his fist. “Look, man, you weren’t half-bad in battle, but you said it yourself—if you get all weak ‘cause of your shitty diet, you’re off the team!!”

“Haha... Then I’ll be sure to supplement my diet carefully, as I’ve done so far.” He beamed down at me... “You can tell how healthy I am, right, Takumi? My hair’s nice and silky, after all!” Ugh...

“I guess that is true...” I only bothered to dignify that with a response so Takemaru didn’t get even more hostile towards him. “I haven’t seen Quenzelle flying around since then—he’s probably too injured to be able to come after us for a while.” I was watching the sky as we walked—I haven’t felt that blood-boiling presence since then, either. We were probably only ten minutes away from the wall of fire now, judging by the faint hazy heatwaves I could see in the distance.

“Quenzelle, that’s the flying one’s name?”

“Yeah—all the Commanders have names and titles. Like Murvrum—he said he was the ‘Paragon of Order’. Not that I know what those titles mean, exactly...” What was Quenzelle’s... Revulsion? “I think Quenzelle was the Paragon of Revulsion or Repulsion... something like that.”

“Hah—quite a fitting title.” Eito pushed up his glasses. “Those slimy eggsacs he dropped from his gaping orifice were quite disgusting.”

“Yeah—and his creepy laugh was worse than Pretty Boy’s.”

I rolled my eyes. “You really think Yugamu’s laugh is creepy?” I guess I’m just used to it...

“Well, yeah... kinda.” Takemaru rubbed the back of his neck. “—don’t tell him I said that though, okay?” Oh? Well, okay... “Haah—forget I said that, I’ll just say it to his face!! I don’t like talkin’ shit behind people’s backs...” Takemaru trudged along, gritting his teeth.

“Aha... You’re surprisingly straightforward, aren’t you?” Eito smiled brightly. “But, you’re not above assembling a pool party behind people’s backs...” Uh... “It was quite rude for the whole school to intrude on our date, you know! Haha...”

A cold wind blew across the barren landscape...

百

“Ugh—” I felt a pulse in my chest as we neared the Undying Flames—a Commander was nearby. “Shit—let’s go, quickly! There might already be a Commander inside—”

“Shit, you serious?!” Takemaru got the fire extinguisher ready.

“—Sumino!” I heard Sirei’s voice barking in my head. “—finally, we’ve been trying to reach you forever!”

“We’re right outside the wall of fire!” A hole was dissolved through the flame and we all rushed in. “What does the Commander look like?!”

“That’s the thing—there’s three of ‘em!”

“Three?!” Wait—“Are they identical? With a trident-like weapon and a long tail?”

“That’s the one!”

“Ohh, Mr. Sumino! They just keep getting back up like cockroaches!” That sounded like Nigou.

“We have to defeat them all at once!” My sword was already drawn as I ran towards the schoolyard—I could see Pakron in the distance, with Tsubasa keeping her at bay while Gaku opened fire from a distance. “It’s just one Commander, but she can split her body into three!”

“Yeesh—who knew these invaders had tricks like that?!”

“Just weaken her and restrict her movement for now—then have each team coordinate striking the final blow at once!” I don’t know if “killing” her individual bodies would kill her off for good, or if she could still hang on if one survived and absorbed the others, but—if our already-limited team was divided into three and on the back foot, then I had to be realistic and accept that we might just have to kill her to stop the assault—

We neared the schoolyard, and I quickly scanned the defensive barriers—Shouma, Yugamu, Kyoshika on one side, Nozomi with Moko and Kurara on the other—thank God, Darumi was with Hiruko, Tsubasa, and Gaku. Wait—where were the twins?

My blood ran cold—did they refuse to fight? Or—

“Where are Kako and Ima?!”

“They’re guarding the fourth barrier, keeping the small fry that showed up away from it!” Sirei grunted in frustration. “Shion insisted on going out there with ‘em—”

“What?! Since when?!” Wasn’t he exhausted from manifesting his avatar all day yesterday?!

“Takemaru—go with Shouma’s team! Eito, cover Nozomi!” I ran as fast as I could towards the school. “I’ll cover the twins and Shion!”

“You got it!” Takemaru hopped on his bike and sped off—after all that walking, he might not be able to maintain it for long.

Eito ran with me around the schoolyard to Nozomi’s group, jumping in to take out one of the green ones before it could hit Moko with its soundwave.

“Whoa-ho—thanks, brother!”

“Takumi!” Nozomi shouted from the barrier generator. “You’re all right!”

“We’re fine—” I stopped short in front of her. “How’s everyone here?”

“We’re all okay, as far as I can tell—we heard you on the communicator, there’s only three copies of that Commander, right?!”

“Yeah—at least that’s how it was last time.” I could see Ima and Kako at the next barrier over—Shion’s flame was so faint, he looked like a sheet of cellophane floating in the wind—but he was still hurling fireballs at the small ones. Pakron hadn’t sent any copies to the back side of the school... “Eito’s covering you, so just coordinate your attacks to take all her copies down at once!” I rushed around to the furthest barrier.

“Takumi!” I could hear the relief in Kako’s voice—she had put up an electrified fence around her and the barrier, so nothing was able to get close.

“I’m here—are you guys all right?” I surveyed the battlefield—only a few fliers and those red and blue ones that threw projectiles were left, and Ima was already tearing through them with his gust attack. “Ima, I’m here!”

“Mr. Sumino!” I barely heard him over the sound of Kako’s laser blast warming up—“I’ve got these chumps taken care of, protect my sister!” Kako pierced one clean through before Ima even noticed it behind him.

“Hey, great shot!” Whew—they were actually holding their own and working together back here.

She slumped over as her strength suddenly sapped. “Hoo... I’m fine—Ima and I have been able to pick them off together!” Her breath sounded a little labored. “But I’m worried about Shion—he’s so exhausted!”

“It’ll be all right—even if he has to expel his avatar, it won’t hurt him.” He’ll probably just have to sleep all through tomorrow. “I can stay with you until you can stand up...”

“I’m...” She staggered to her feet again. “—I’m fine!”

“Okay... Good job holding the line.” I watched as Ima easily punched through the weak fliers with his wings, so I made my way to Shion. “Shion—I’m here.”

“Ah—Takumi.” His voice was wavering. “Thank goodness...” His avatar was almost completely transparent. “While the other teams were busy with the Commanders, reinforcements appeared... I couldn’t let these two go off alone.”

“You did good—you can rest now, I’ll take it from here.”

“But...”

“I won’t make you dispel your avatar, but if you have to—just know that Kako and Ima are in good hands with me.”

“Please, Mr. Shion—don’t exhaust yourself!” Nigou blubbered over the communicator. “You’re not meant to be fighting on the front lines!”

“... All right.” Shion’s voice echoed faintly in my head. “But I want to stay until the Commander’s been dealt with...”

“Okay—” I rushed towards Ima next. “Ima—I’m here, good job holding them off.”

“Of course—I’m not about to let any of these cretins get close to my sister dearest!” He pushed back another wave of the ranged throwers that appeared out of the woodwork, and I sliced through the whole row of them with a shockwave. “Ah, nice follow-up, Mr. Sumino! Oh, we heard you through the communicator—you’re sure there’s not a fourth Commander coming?!”

“There wasn’t last time—but anything’s possible. I don’t sense another one, though...”

“We got her down over here!” I heard Takemaru’s voice through the comm. “Just gimme the order!!”

“Same here—just waiting on you guys!” That was Moko—

“Then hurry up and kill her—I couldn’t hold back, so ours is already dead.” I swallowed—that was Hiruko.

I steadied my breathing—whatever happens, I need to prioritize keeping everyone safe...

“—something’s happening!”

Shit—she was forming the big one again. “Takemaru—cover Ima and Kako! I’m going to the front—” Shion was completely transparent now. “Shion—go ahead and rest. If the Supreme Commander shows up, I don’t want her to see you.”

“Ah—I understand.”

I flashed a smile before I took off running. “Thanks for your help!” I was already halfway across the schoolyard.

Sure enough, Pakron had re-formed, standing about a story tall with black energy swirling all around her. “Vile invaders—you face Pakron, the Paragon of Virtue!” She slammed her twisted trident into the earth. “You wicked creatures are an affront to God—I shall smite you down in the name of virtue, for our cause is just!” To be honest... I couldn’t exactly argue with her.

I fought my way through the stragglers, brandishing my blade in front of her. “We will defend ourselves—but if you retreat, we won’t pursue you. We have no wish to prolong this conflict.”

“Fools!!” Her voice echoed across the battlefield. “Who do you insects think you are, to claim to be on the side of peace after all you’ve wrought?! Our people will never retreat!!" She raised her trident high in the air, swirling black and crimson energy gathering at the point...“We will fight until every last one of you vile creatures has been driven from this planet!!”  A red laser like Murvrum’s razed the ground in front of me, I barely rolled out of the way—the sand sizzled where I was just standing a second before. Shit—she didn’t have a technique like that last time, I can’t underestimate her.

I felt my blood pulsing in my ears. This may very well end in the way Yugamu and Kyoshika said—she’d never back down, retreat, or beg for her life. She needed all of us “invaders” to die to safeguard the planet, her cause was just... I understood. We were just fighting against her so we could survive... there was no room for “right” and “wrong”. Our two sides were just diametrically opposed this time.

“Very well. Then prepare yourself.” I felt intense heat all around me, like an all-consuming wildfire. “Nozomi—back me up.”

“Ah, yes!”

The air crackled around her trident again, I readied my blade for one decisive strike—the weight of the flames ricocheted like a sling, my arms numb as I threw everything into my swing... a firestorm of blinding blue razed the ground towards her, surrounding her in a conflagration.

“GYAAAAHHHH!!” Her screams pierced my ears. I heard shocked yells and retching from our allies behind me. For some reason, I felt numb... like I wasn’t even watching what was unfolding before me. I was floating above myself, observing my actions as if it was someone else... I didn’t realize how powerful my flames had become, it wasn’t my intention to burn her so severely...

“Haah...” I took a knee, my stamina completely hemorrhaging out of me—I felt a cool glow as Nozomi’s recovery charge hit me, and I pushed myself back to my feet, the flames quieting around my sword. “Thank you.”

I steadied myself, walking over to where Pakron lay twisting in agony in the dirt... her transformation was undone, half her mask and battle suit were melted. She was covering her exposed eye with her hand, seething up at me as I approached.

“Barbaric... invaders...!” She spat through gritted teeth, hurling herself onto her stomach in the dirt, trying to swipe at me in vain—“I’ll—never accept defeat...!” She could barely move, but the last of her energy was being spent trying to hit me, scratch me... anything she could muster.

“If we allow you to retreat... Will you trust my words that we only want to end this war without pointless death?”

“—never!” She snarled up at me like an animal caught in a leg trap. “You... your words mean nothing...!” She swiped at me with her nails—she probably couldn’t see anymore, just flailing in death throws. “I’ll... never abandon—the planet...” She hacked up black blood in the dirt...

“I understand.” I raised my sword. “Then, I’ll grant you a warrior’s death.”

“Kh—” She was still twisting, the exposed flesh of her arm horribly burnt—the smell was awful. But when she looked up at me, with my blade raised above my head—her eye caught mine, and she stared, like she could hear what I was thinking.

“I hold no hatred for you. I have every intention of bringing this war to a peaceful end, rather than one side eradicating the other. You came at me with everything you had, our side merely won out today. Nothing more.”

I watched as the conflicting emotions settled over her in waves, breathing heavily as her burned limbs kept twitching. Eventually, her body stilled, and she collapsed flat on her back. She slid her hand over her exposed eye. Her iris was black. She didn’t say anything more.

With one clean stab, I struck right through her heart.

The wound was partially cauterized, blood pooling out from under her shoulders. Her mask stayed on, even in death.

The battlefield was quiet. The alarm had stopped blaring from the school building.

“... It had to be done.” Hiruko stepped up next to me. “Now—absorb her cryptoglobin.”

“No—I won’t be doing that.” I sheathed my blade. “We’re going to bury her near the wall of fire—that way, if any of her allies want to come claim her body, they can.”

“Are you out of your mind?”

“No—I’m not.” I turned to her. “This is my decision as team leader.”

Her eyes narrowed at me. She didn’t say anything else.

Yugamu stepped up next to me. “Very well—let’s go ahead and dig her grave, then.” He folded his arms. “Should we erect a grave marker, as well?”

“... I’m not sure what the cultural practices are among their people.” Even with Nozomi’s recovery bullet, I was still feeling so exhausted... “But we probably should.” Even if the Futurans weren’t able to read the text on the gravestone, I could at least direct them to where it was.

I was peering all around the broken buildings outside the wall of fire... I don’t sense anything else. So V’ehxness hadn’t come to observe the battle... Honestly, at this point her radio silence was more unnerving than anything. Why was she laying low this time?

“Hrk—” I doubled over, blood spewing from my mouth and hitting the dirt—

“Takumi!”

My vision got fuzzy, I lost my footing—

百

Ugh... my whole body was aching with dull pain... my throat was so dry, my chest felt like it was on fire...

“Ah, Takumi.” That was Yugamu—I could tell by his voice. “You’re back with us—how lucky that you happened to wake up while I was on shift, hehe... How are you feeling?”

“... like I got hit by a truck.” I managed to crack my eyes open, the sight of the ceiling above me fuzzy. “... what time is it?”

“Well, it’s after five—but you should know that you’ve been out for an entire day.” I have...? “We actually had to place you in the Revive-O-Matic—whatever those blue flames were that you used, they tore up the inside of your body quite spectacularly.” He sighed. “How terrible—the others wouldn’t even let me dissect you before shoving you into that machine!”

“Pft...” For some reason, his odd humor was actually grounding... I still felt a bit like I wasn’t here, like I was floating...

I felt his cool hand on my forehead. “You’re still quite warm... Are you in pain?”

“Yeah... I’m aching all over, but it’s more sore like muscle pain...” I finally managed to keep my eyes open.

“I see.” He removed a small vial from his sleeve. “Well, I have a homemade painkiller here, if you’d like to try it. There’s nothing funny in this one, I promise.”

“... it’s just a painkiller?”

“Yes—it’s made from feverfew and a selection of other herbal compounds. So you don’t have to worry about feeling loopy.”

“... I see.” I managed to sit up. “I guess I’ll try it.”

“Hehe... I’m glad you trust me so much.”

“Well—you were always upfront if you wanted me to test out some weird pill before...”

“That is true.” He held out the bright orange pill, and a glass of water. “Just swallow without chewing—there’s ginger and turmeric inside, your stomach can handle that, right?”

“Yeah—I like ginger.” I took a few gulps of water to wet my throat first, then I was able to swallow the pill, chasing it with more water. “—thanks, Yugamu.”

“It’s my pleasure. Ehehe... Just let me know how that pill agrees with you.”

“... You’re starting to worry me.”

“Haha...” He laughed more genuinely. “Well, that’s only because those ingredients are less ‘scientifically-proven’ and more like folk remedies.” His eye closed. “I’d rather not see anyone here get addicted to the hard stuff, if I can help it.”

“... I see.” I decided not to ask further.

“Ah, that’s right.” His eye became a crescent. “Your cute little friend was quite worried when he heard you’d collapsed—although, he’s also been resting most of the day.” He rubbed his chin. “How do we normally get in contact with him, anyway?”

“If you mean Shion, he usually just appears... Sometimes he’ll come out if I go to the Defense Room and call to him outside the door.” I laid back down, shifting my back to get comfortable under the blanket. “Ah—I don’t think I’ll be leaving my room the rest of the night, would you mind telling him I’m okay?”

“Of course—would you like me to grab the next person to look after you?”

“I don’t think that’ll be necessary—” Just then my stomach gurgled, embarrassingly loud. “... I guess I haven’t eaten for an entire day.”

“Ehehe... Why don’t I let that worrywart wife of yours know that you’ve returned to the land of the living?” Ugh... “Oh, speaking of—Sirei made it very clear that I was supposed to leave this large decorative rock propping open your door at all times—now why would that be? Hehe...”

I pressed my palms over my eyes. They should’ve just let me die...

“Oh—you guys didn’t let anyone absorb the Commander, right?” I licked my dry lips. “Please tell me you buried her...”

Yugamu folded his arms. “We followed your orders, Leader... Although Hiruko obviously wasn’t pleased. I’m surprised Sirei didn’t raise more of a stink—though I suppose that as long as the invaders are dead, he doesn’t care much what we do with their bodies.”

“... I see.” I closed my eyes. “Thank you for doing that... I promise I’ll explain everything soon.”

He surprised me by patting my hair. “I am curious about this big reveal you’ve been teasing, but I trust your judgment, Takumi.”

“... Thank you for that.” I allowed myself to enjoy the simple feeling of him patting my head for a second, then his hand slunk away.

百

“Ah...” I heard Eito’s breathy sigh of relief. “I’m glad you’re all right, Takumi—ah, are you still in pain, even after being revived?”

“Yeah...” I scooted up a little so I could look at him from my propped pillow. Eito brought a tray with a shallow bowl with him, and some more water. “But I took one of Yugamu’s painkillers, so it’s actually not as bad...” There was still a dull soreness, but it was less pronounced... It must’ve actually worked.

“I see...” He set the tray on the table next to me. “Are you sure you want to be taking some strange pill concocted by that one?”

“It’s fine... He’s always transparent about his weird experiments, so there’s nothing funny in this one.” I managed to sit up more easily than before. “What’s that?”

“It’s just some porridge—I wasn’t sure if you’d be able to eat solid foods.”

“Thank you... it smells good.”

“Aha... Well, I wish I could say that I made it.” He lifted the lid off the bowl. “I’m not much of a chef, so this is from the Ration-O-Matic... At least, I never did much of my own cooking in those false memories.” He winked. “But that means that it’s never too soon to try!”

“I guess that’s true...” The porridge smelled like cinnamon and brown sugar, like breakfast oatmeal... “Oh... Sirei’s not gonna fly off the handle if you’re looking after me by yourself?”

“Apparently not—although, he stressed the point to everyone that you had to leave that rock propping the door open.”

“Ugh...”

He laughed softly. “I’m sorry, Takumi... It is rather embarrassing, although thankfully he never spelled out why. He just said to do it.” Well, it was obvious enough to Yugamu... “Here...” He placed the tray in my lap, like he was serving me breakfast in bed...

“Thanks...” I wasn’t trying to be ungrateful, but for some reason, this was a little awkward... Probably because of Yugamu’s “wife” comment.

Oh—a swirl of purple flame appeared at the foot of my bed. “—Takumi, you’re awake.” Shion pressed his hand to his heart. “Thank goodness... I was so worried when I’d heard you’d collapsed.” His brows sloped, his avatar appearing semi-opaque in the flame. “I’ve been resting most of today, too... I probably can’t stay for long.”

“That’s okay—I’m glad you were able to rest after all that.” I tried to smile, but my facial muscles still felt stiff. “Um... Shion? I’m sorry for telling you to dispel your avatar, I know you were worried about everyone, too...”

“Please don’t worry about that, Takumi.” He smiled gently, his eyes closed. “I was reaching the end of what I could do, anyway... I just wanted to make sure Ima and Kako were taken care of.”

Eito pushed up his glasses. “Did you notice? Kako didn’t add a ‘Mr.’ in front of your name.”

“Ah—you’re right.” He laughed lightly. “I suppose that means I’ve been accepted...”

“Yeah—I’ll say.” I was able to smile a little more naturally.

His eyes flicked to Eito—he still looked a little unsure, maybe it was just shyness. He never actually introduced himself to Shion properly, he just made little small-talky statements like that here and there.

“Well... I can see that you’re in good hands, Takumi—I’ll rest up for today so I can visit you tomorrow.” Shion waved shyly—he was so precious.

“Sounds good—take it easy. And thanks for your help again, Shion.”

“Hm-hm... You’re welcome.” With a small laugh, his flames dissipated.

My room was quiet, with Shion leaving a peaceful aura in his wake.

Eito fidgeted with his glasses. “I just hope it was enough for me to prove myself in battle today.”

I took my spoon, dipping it into the hot porridge. “Well—you can’t exactly blame the others for being slow to warm up to you.” I blew across the spoon. “... You did admit to wanting to kill them all.”

“Aha... But that was ‘Second Day Eito’—he might as well be an entirely different person.” He winked. “Just like you, Takumi!”

“I guess that’s fair enough...” The porridge was warm and comforting, and not too sweet. “It’s good—thank you.” Oh—I already forgot he said he didn’t make it. “You really don’t cook much?” I took another spoonful. “I thought vegetarians had to be more particular about getting a balanced diet...”

He crossed one long leg over the other. “Well—anything from those false memories isn’t relevant anymore.” He had a small smirk. “The only thing that matters is what I decide to do from here. That includes learning how to cook—we can’t rely on this school’s facilities forever. Sooner or later, we’ll have to be self-sufficient whether we’re prepared for it or not.”

I blew across my hot spoon. “I wish you’d be less stubborn about telling me what you do and don’t know... It’d just be easier for me.”

He clasped his hands around his knee. “I’m sure you can piece together what I know just fine on your own, Takumi.”

Eating this porridge made me think of a memory of Karua taking care of me when I was sick... I wonder if I ever showed signs of distress in the pod, when Nozomi was talking to me. “I guess...”

Eito was quiet while I kept eating. I could only imagine what he was thinking about...

I took a drink of water, then stretched to set the tray on my table. “I have an idea—how about you go around with me tomorrow to give everyone gifts?” I settled back against my propped-up pillow. “Sirei can’t use all those materials we brought back on ‘new shoes’—oh shit, one of you did grab them, right?”

“Don’t worry, Takumi—Takemaru brought the sackful in through the wall of fire.” Whew... “I even reported on our successful procurement mission myself!”

I bent my legs up under the blanket, resting my arms on my knees. “Did he say anything...?”

“About what? Oh.” He twisted around to look at the propped-open door. “Well—evidently, you’re still under ‘camp rules’.”

“Haah...” I hid my face in my arms. “I can’t believe Sirei told everyone I had to keep my door propped open like that...”

“Haha... Well, as embarrassing as it is... Don’t you think it’s actually rather lenient?” I raised my head. “After all, objectively-speaking—I am quite a ‘dangerous unknown element’ in Sirei’s eyes.” He smiled. “I wonder if someone threatened not to cooperate if you weren’t given more grace?”

“What?” But—who? Oh... Well, if that’s true, then I’ll just have to thank him for that tomorrow, too...

百

I blinked my eyes open rapidly—it felt like I almost nodded off there for a second. “Oh, man...” I settled back down on my pillow. “I’m still so tired... I might pass out here soon.”

“That’s all right—I can leave you to get some rest?”

I settled my shoulders against the mattress. “I don’t mind if you stay... I just might nod off at some point.”

He smiled, holding the books he brought in his lap. “Well, I did bring a few things to read, if you think that will help you relax.”

“I feel bad that I keep falling asleep to Kokoro...”

“Haha... Well, I don’t mind re-reading some parts. It is a rather gentle story... I wonder if Sōseki Natsume would’ve found that flattering?” He relaxed in his chair, crossing his leg. “... I’ve heard a bit about how you’ve dealt with the other Commanders before now. Apparently this is the first one you’ve killed in battle.”

“... That’s right.”

He pushed his glasses up. “I’m glad that I learned that beforehand... That’s the only reason I didn’t aim to kill with that flying Commander.”

“You weren’t aiming to kill, with that crazy attack?”

“Aha...” He had a shadow of his old terrifying smile... “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t underestimate me, Takumi.”

“Geez...” Well, shit—I guess I shouldn’t.

He curled his hand around the edge of the hardback book. “Takumi... Because I understand how you are, I know what it is you’re trying to do with this war. But... I don’t want you to miss the forest for the trees, and end up making decisions you’ll regret.” His smile almost looked sad. “I wanted to share this passage from a compilation by Ryūnosuke Akutagawa—he was an author whom Osamu Dazai greatly admired.” He delicately flipped right to a page he had marked. “This is from ‘Words of a Dwarf’.” I noticed he wasn’t wearing his gloves again. “... ‘We’ve discovered countless reasons to curse God. However, and most unfortunately, the Japanese people don’t believe in a God mighty enough to be worth cursing.’” He gently closed the book again. “In your ideal world, the Futurans and humans can find a way to live in peace. But the people of this planet are ruled by religious dogma, just the same as ancient humans—you heard it yourself from that so-called ‘Paragon of Virtue’.” His blue eyes were cold. “Do you know how many wars and genocides humans started in the name of God?” He smiled gently. “It’s just something to consider, Takumi.”

I peered up at him from my bed. “You called them ‘Futurans’...”

“Aha... I did.”

I let my eyes close. I felt even more tired than I did before...

“... Is it still all right if I read with you for a bit?”

“Go ahead... you can read it out loud...” I curled up on my side. “I just might pass out soon...”

“... All right.” I could hear the gentle smile in his tone. “Then, I believe this is where we left off last time...” His soft voice was relaxing to listen to... Oh, that painkiller must’ve worked, I can hardly feel anything at all... “... ‘I wondered also why Sensei felt the way he did towards mankind. I would ask myself, was it the result of a coldly impartial scrutiny of his own inner self, and the contemporary world around him? And if one were as naturally intelligent, reflective, and as removed from the world as Sensei, would one inevitably reach the same conclusions?’” ... I’m starting to think I was a bit too on-the-nose recommending we read this book together...

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In one of the “Box of Blessings” routes (if I remember right), after Eito ran away and stalked the party back to the abandoned mansion, he brought up the fact that the Futurans were slavishly devoted to their religion and “no better than humans”, which is an interesting point. The only other time I can remember someone actually discussing the “God of the Planet” and “bloodspace” were cryptic tidbits from Eva, and brief mentions from Kamyuhn and Shion in the “Killing Game” route, on the logistics of Sponsor Eito gaining the ability to control the bees. Lol what an absurd sentence XD

“To see with eyes unclouded by hate” was the famous line from Hayao Miyazaki’s Princess Mononoke. We’ll probably see some similar themes cropping up soon...

I was listening to a Ghibli piano compilation while writing this chapter, “The Legend of Ashitaka” is still one of the most beautiful pieces of music I’ve ever heard. The soundtracks for Octopath Traveler I and II hit that same way, “My Quiet Forest Home” and “Beyond the Sands -Night-” are both hauntingly gorgeous.

Thank you as always for reading, and for all the lovely comments ^_^ A lot of the time the stuff I get to talk about with y’all ends up inspiring the next chapter 🤭 See you again!

Chapter Text

Chapter 13 – Clear, Bright Field Lit by a Soft Blue Moon

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Day 15

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I can’t believe I’m doing this...

I pat his head. “Good job. You were really strong in battle...”

I’m shocked he didn’t reveal he could actually purr like a cat this whole time. “... Now I can die happy.”

“Haah...” I lightly pat his hair, which was getting flattened against his head more and more. “All right—that’s enough.”

Eito’s eyes opened, peering up at me from the spot he insisted on resting his head—my lap. “Oh, but that was for when we were out exploring—I was really strong in that defensive battle too, wasn’t I, Takumi?”

“You’re really pushing it.” I sighed heavily. “I wasn’t really watching, anyway—I was busy on the back side of the school.”

“Oh.” His brows sloped. “Well, then—you should ask those three women I was fighting alongside. Haha... At least, I assume they were women. It can be hard for me to tell sometimes...”

I had a feeling I’d regret asking... “What do those three look like to you?”

His eyes closed. “You don’t want to know.”

“... I see.” I kind of did want to know, but...

“Although...” He peered up at me again. “One of them does look a little different from the rest of you, haha... I wonder why that is?”

Another one of his baiting questions... “Which one looks different?”

“The girl you asked to support you against the Commander—Nozomi.” Well, that made sense—she was the only one among us who was actually human. “Haha... I’m curious, Takumi—what was your relationship to her in your other timelines?” His eye contact was a little intimidating... “It’s hard to describe, but sometimes you look a little sad when you look at her...”

“I do?” I hope that wasn’t obvious to her or anyone else. “Well... I guess I’m not surprised by that.” There was an awkward second of silence. “I don’t really want to indulge that passive-aggressive way of asking, though.”

“Aha—I thought I was asking pretty straight-forwardly.” His eyes closed. “But you don’t have to answer. I just wanted to know why you looked so sad around one person here in particular... that’s all.” There was another awkward second of silence. “I suppose that does sound more passive-aggressive, haha...”

I realized I had been touching his hair again subconsciously. I guess there’s no reason to keep being vague about it, if it’s that obvious to him... It’s just a matter of phrasing it so that I can respect Nozomi’s privacy, and keep certain details that his other self might not have told him out of it.

“Well... Do you remember when I said there was a person who’s like a sister to me?”

“I do—so that’s Nozomi?”

“Well... Sort of.” I found it easier to talk while running my fingers through his hair, oddly enough. “Your other self already told you that we all have ‘false memories’... Well, some of them are based on real people and things in the Tokyo Residential Complex.” I’ll just have to trust that he’ll tell me if anything I say contradicts what he supposedly knows. “I...” Suddenly, I stopped. “Haha... You know, after I stopped your other self from attacking Sirei, and we locked him up in the cage... He told me I could ‘confide’ in him and tell him things I couldn’t tell anyone else. Oh—I guess you said that, huh?” I almost laughed. They didn’t truly “divert” into different people until the third day, depending on which version of me was here... What a mind-bender.

“Aha... I did.”

“Well—at the time, I just thought you were full of shit.” I rolled my eyes. “And anything I said would just be used against me later... But oddly enough, now I find myself wanting to confide in you...” I smiled down tiredly at him. He had an odd look—his eyes were a little wide behind his glasses. “Haha... It’s because your other self confided all those things in you that I feel comfortable confiding in you, too—so it’s almost come full circle.”

He fidgeted with his glasses. “... I see.” Then, he actually pushed himself to sit up. He was still faced away from me when he spoke again. “Takumi—I’ve been thinking about this lately.” He turned over his shoulder with a sad smile. “I really do owe a lot to my other self... I honestly couldn’t tell you what I’d be doing now, or what kind of person I’d still be if he didn’t tell me those things about myself, and the fact that my worst memories are all false...” His eyes closed. “The truth is... I don’t really know if I can say this is ‘me’. Haha... I’m feeling a bit like a sheet in the wind right now... How am I supposed to start over from nothing, when everything about me is false? Haha... It’s kind of frightening now that I say it out loud.” This was quickly spiraling into heavy territory—but I couldn’t think of anything to say, I didn’t want to just blurt out some platitude like, “It’ll be all right.”

“I...” I licked my lips. “I felt that way too, when I found out everything... It was really devastating, and a lot to take in.” I didn’t know what to do, so I awkwardly rubbed his back after a second too long. “I’m sorry—I wish I had better advice to offer. Some things you just have to process at your own pace...” I can’t just leave it at that—but I don’t want to sound disingenuously positive either. “But—I know it’s frightening to start over from nothing, but it’s kind of freeing, too—it means you can really decide to be anyone or anything you want. Just start chaining little things together, and it’ll get easier to build up who ‘you’ are that way—at least, that’s what I’ve tried to do...”

He smiled at me, though it still looked a little sad. “I appreciate your candidness, Takumi. Really...” He sighed, letting his forehead touch down on my shoulder from this awkward angle. “Haah... It’s really hitting me how unbelievably delusional and selfish it was to declare that I was going to make you fall in love with me.”

“... You’re only realizing that now?”

“Haha...” He actually laughed. “You really aren’t pulling any punches...”

“Well... I said it was refreshing that I can finally confide in you, genuinely...”

“I know... And I appreciate that more than you know, Takumi.” He sat up, smoothing his hair that had fallen in his face back behind his ear. I thought he’d look good with his hair slicked back, but he’d also look pretty cute if he grew it out longer, too—I don’t know why that came to mind, it just did... “The truth is, Takumi—the way I am now, I have nothing to offer you. I don’t even know who ‘I’ am.” The sad look he was giving me had a shade of self-awareness. “The person I was before... I pretty much can’t pull anything from that.” He was looking to the side, unfocused at nothing. “I was very sure of who I was—or, rather, I was sure of what I was ‘destined’ to do.” He almost laughed to himself. “I was the only person who could see the truth—like that science fiction movie with those special glasses that allow you to see the true face of all the politicians and capitalists running things, and the ‘OBEY’ signs everywhere.” He had a wry smirk to himself. “At any rate—I genuinely believed that I was seeing the true face of mankind—all the ugliness, selfishness, cruelty, exploitation, and greed. Rather than accepting the obvious conclusion that there was something wrong with the way my brain processes information, it was the rest of the world that had something wrong with it, and it was my duty to punish and eradicate them all... That’s the kind of person I was.” He smiled at me. “How frightening—how are you supposed to fall in love with someone like that? Haha...”

I decided to just get it all out in the open—I won’t hold anything back anymore. “You were frightening, the first time around—I had no idea your other self felt that way. And I felt really stupid for not being able to tell... That’s why it hurt me so much the first time. It just showed that I was a bad friend, because I couldn’t tell how badly you were hurting at all...” I bit my lips. “... Sorry, maybe that was the wrong thing to say. I didn’t mean to turn it around and make it about me...”

“Don’t apologize, Takumi. Haha... Do you really think I’d criticize you for saying the ‘wrong’ thing at the ‘wrong’ time?”

“Geez...” Oddly enough, that self-deprecating comment did make me feel a little better. We were both just trying our best, even though we were a little out of our depth... “Well—I had this thought before. Maybe you’d be able to answer more honestly than your first self...” I looked up at him. “If you have to wear a mask every single day—then at which point is it just a part of you?”

He closed his eyes. “That’s an interesting question. I suppose the answer is—I don’t know.” He had a small, self-aware smirk. “But, now that it’s no longer strategically-advantageous for me to be nice to anyone, the only person I can muster up any kindness for is you.” His eyes were piercing. “Haha... Do you see what I mean? There is still something wrong with me...”

“Well...” I felt like I had to choose my words carefully, but I still wanted to trust my gut on what I wanted to say. “Is it that you don’t want to get closer to the others, or you just don’t know how to?”

“Haha... I wonder?” He finally relaxed his body language, leaning back with his palm on the mattress. “Well... Maybe it’s a little of both. As embarrassing as that is to admit...”

Well... I guess that was fair enough. Even though the others whose wills I took back with me could “feel” something, that really only goes so far. From Eito’s perspective, he’s only known our core team for about two weeks, and he was locked up in that cage most of the time—and he’s known the others from Second-to-Last for even less time than that. Me telling him that they were—or have the potential to be—trusted allies doesn’t mean those same feelings will magically flood into him... I wish it worked that way. Even if I want to be charitable and say that Eito’s more misanthropic tendencies have ebbed away... I still have to remember that he’s incredibly awkward and not used to socializing with others. Especially not as his authentic self... He’s even questioning who that “self” is, even around me.

“Takumi?”

“Oh—sorry, I was just thinking.” I looked up him, but I felt a bit embarrassed. “I guess... I’m sorry if it feels like I’ve just been pushy or nagging you to get along with the others... I just want you to get more comfortable interacting with people as your genuine self.” My eyes flicked away—I hope that doesn’t sound condescending to him... this is just genuinely how I feel. “I want to see what kind of person you’ll become now that you’re free from those memories... I’m sure you’ll even be different from your other selves.”

He was quiet for a second. “So, what you’re saying is, I have the advantage to become the Über Eito, superior to all the others!”

“Geez... I guess so, if you want to look at it that way. It’s not a competition...”

“Well, if I view it as a competition, then that’s all the motivation I need!”

“Haah... Whatever works for you.” I wish I could say I knew he was just being a smartass... “Oh... That reminds me.” My eyes flicked up to him. “Maybe you can give me some insight... Something your first self said always bothered me. Looking back, I wish I had trusted my gut feeling...”

“Oh? What was it? I might be able to ‘attune to his wavelength’... although he is the most irrational of all of us.”

“Haah...” That didn’t exactly make me feel better about it... “Well... At the time, I thought he was just being passive-aggressive, like he was trying to say I was only going to get taken advantage of, someday...”

Eito’s eyebrows went up. “What did he say?”

I scratched my hair. “I don’t even remember what I said that prompted it, but... He just closed his eyes and said, ‘You really are a nice guy, Takumi... Almost too nice.’”

He relaxed with his palms back on the mattress. “I see.” He laughed lightly to himself. “Poor Asshole Eito... He really didn’t know what to do with such a foreign feeling.”

“... I see.” It felt like my chest tightened a bit. “... Do you think there was any way I could have possibly gotten through to him? If I had more time?”

Eito was leaned back on his palms, staring up at nothing on the wall. “To be perfectly honest, Takumi—with the way I was, I don’t think anything in this world could’ve derailed my ‘sacred mission’.” He smiled at me, and his expression was touched by a combination of sadness, self-deprecation, sarcasm, resignation... everything. “Destroying and punishing those filthy humans for their long history of misdeeds was my reason for being after all, haha...” His eyes closed. “But... if anything came close to even slightly making him reconsider... I’m sure it was you.”

“... You think so?”

He smiled to himself. “I know so.”

“—agh...” I got a sudden sharp pain in my sternum, like a growing pain. “Ow...” It felt like he was acting up again... “Well—it must be true, if he’s acting up like a little brat—” All at once, the pain stopped. “Geez...” I ground my fist into my chest, taking a deep breath. “Stubborn... Well, I guess it’s a little mean to keep calling him ‘Asshole Eito’. It’s just easier to call him ‘First Eito’.” Honestly... hearing that made me feel differently about him—he was still stuck in the metaphorical “cage”, so it’s no wonder he was lashing out like a feral animal. The cage was just of his own making... “I guess to keep things simple, my Eito with the dark glasses will be the ‘Second’, and that makes you the ‘Third’, sorry.” Oh, oops—I called him “my Eito” without even thinking...

“Aha...” Eito laughed awkwardly. “Well... That doesn’t seem very fair.” His eyes were sparkling. “I’m the best version of me there is, so why can’t I be Sweet Eito? Oh—or Eito Prime!”

“Ugh—more like ‘Clingy Eito’ or ‘Needy Eito’...” [A/N: I personally like “Nyeito” as coined by the comments XD]

“Haha... Well, either of those is better than ‘the third one’...”

“Geez... I guess it doesn’t matter—the only time I’d really be talking about you that way is to Second Eito—you’re both just ‘your other self’ to each other...” I rolled my eyes. “First Eito is more of an outlier, that’s why he needs his own distinction.”

“Oh, dear—well I hope you’re only telling flattering things to my other self...”

I had a small, dumb smile. “Well... It’s probably okay if I tell you this...” It might be a little embarrassing for him, but it’s nothing bad... “He told me that he just wants what’s best for you, almost like a parent wants their child to have a better life than they did.” I waited, just in case I got a growing pain or something... Nothing. “So... yeah, if I’m discussing you with him or vice versa, it’s only in that way.”

Hmm... Rather than a “growing pain” like when First Eito was acting up, I almost got a warm fuzzy feeling, like getting out after a hot bath... I guess that was okay to say.

“... I see.” Eito had a small smile as well, and it didn’t even look sarcastic. “It really is encouraging to know that I have the potential to be that kind of person. The kind that looks out for others and wishes them the best so sincerely...”

I wasn’t expecting such a heavy conversation to take a positive turn... and it wasn’t just an empty platitude. “You do—you really do.” I smoothed his hair out of his face. “And it’s not just from looking out for your own self-interest—your other self looked after Shion, too. And—” I didn’t want to talk about anything before his death. “—it’s absolutely within your capacity to be that kind of person. Just keep that in mind...” For some reason I really wanted to kiss him—I didn’t want it to feel like a “reward” and set a precedent for him being annoying about expecting it all the time—but I did want to, still...

Surprisingly, his smile took on a tinge of sadness again. “Well... That’s very kind of you to say, Takumi. Haha... I’m sorry to bring the mood down, it’s not as if I’m disagreeing...” He pulled away from me just an inch. “But... What I was saying before, that I was so sure in the kind of person I was...” When he looked at me again, his eyes were clouded over. “I just think you should keep in mind that I’m a person who’s capable of that kind of inner darkness.” I got an unpleasant chill up my spine. “Haha... See? You should listen to your instincts when it comes to me... For all you know, I could’ve been faking it this whole time!” He leaned over me, his palm on the mattress... “Haah...” Then he just sighed. “You know... for a second, I thought about leaning over you threateningly, just to illustrate the point that you really don’t know if I’ve just been faking it this whole time...” His brows sloped in an almost sheepish look—that’s a new one. “But I don’t want to upset you, or worse—do anything that might remind you of that evil prosecutor... So I guess I really have changed!” He smiled brightly.

I sighed. “You sound like you’re just saying that to get another head pat...”

He laughed. “No... Of course not.” I rolled my eyes. I actually did appreciate how stupidly honest this Eito was... I’d be lying if I said that after getting back-stabbed by two Eitos in a row, there wasn’t still a little voice in the back of my mind saying that he might be willing to offer up smaller truths, just so he could get away with more lies once I believed he was being sincere... But I kind of doubt it. His other self would’ve ratted him out in a heartbeat... It takes a bullshitter to spot a bullshitter.

“Well... I’m just trying to keep my promise.” I was looking down at a random spot on the mattress. “My promise wasn’t, ‘I’ll date you’ or even ‘I’ll fall in love with you’—it was just, ‘I’ll try my best to understand you.’” I slid my palm over his hand—it was barely anything, but it felt so bold... “So... Even if you do turn out to be this horrible person all over again and I decide I want nothing to do with you... I’ve fulfilled my promise.”

“Haha... I suppose that’s true.” He smiled. “That really takes the pressure off me!”

“Geez...” I finally let myself relax back on the bed, feeling the stretch in my back. My heart was beating a little fast... “Well, if I really thought you hadn’t changed at all, I wouldn’t be spending so much time with you like this.”

“Hmm.” He put his arm at my other side on the mattress, but he wasn’t leaning over me in this threatening way. It just goes to show how comfortable I already am with him... “I guess I just can’t help wanting to be selfish.” He smiled. “I don’t have any reason to be dishonest anymore, or try to stuff down my feelings—so, I might as well ‘shoot my shot’! Haha—isn’t that how the expression goes?”

“I guess...” I folded my hands over my stomach—I should’ve just done it when I felt like it, now I almost felt a little nervous... “I guess that means I’m ‘shooting my shot’, too...” I just barely stopped myself from swallowing or licking my lips... It felt so much bolder to “invite” him like this in broad daylight... ugh, especially with that stupid rock propping my door open...

He moved over me a little, weaving his fingers through mine. “Well, Takumi... I can’t say I don’t feel a little conflicted being here now... In some ways, it still feels like I’m standing in my other self’s ‘place’.” I got a little pang in my heart hearing it put that way... “I don’t want to make assumptions... I’m sure he had his reasons for keeping his feelings to himself. He must’ve thought it was for the best...” He smiled to himself. “I really have to thank him the next time I see him. He did a lot of the hard work... It feels a little unfair that I get to stand on top of the steps he took to change, getting all this insider information from the future...” He smiled down at me sadly. “I just hope he doesn’t resent me too much.”

“He doesn’t.” I answered automatically—he might be “a little jealous” sometimes, but he doubled down on trying to bow out of the way. That had to count for something. “Trust me... He’s wishing you nothing but happiness from the sidelines.” Ugh—why did that make my eyes water a bit saying that? “Ugh...” I pressed my palms over my eyes. “Sorry—I don’t know why that upset me so much. Haha...” I tried to laugh through it, but it was like the emotions I tried to stuff down were all flooding in at once. “Damnit...” I felt a tear well up—shit. Some timing...

“Takumi...” He gently brushed my hair to the side. “It’s all right—I’m not upset. I’m sure your feelings are still complicated... You should just get it all out.”

“Ugh—” This is humiliating—I can’t believe I’m crying like this in front of him, out of nowhere... “Sorry...”

I could feel the awkward pause. “Um... Should I...” He didn’t want to look lame by asking what to do, but he obviously had no idea...

“Just come here.” I wiped my eye with my wrist, opening up my arm. He laid down next to me, clamping onto me with his face on my chest—there was a desperate energy to it, like his whole body was saying, “There, there...”

I tried to quietly sniff the snot back in my head, grateful that he couldn’t see my face... I just rubbed his back, a little more insistently than I meant to... I guess I was as desperate for any kind of comfort as he was to try to give it. Haah... Well, at least we were both a little awkward when it came to these kind of things...

“... hah. I guess I can’t help but feel sad about it, too.” I let my eyes close, feeling the warmth under my palm as I continued to rub his back... “It does feel unfair, that he went through so many extremes to change, and he just died in the end... Not that that’s your fault, of course. That’s just the way things happened...” I kept rubbing his back... “It’s just... I wish he could’ve had more time to live the life he was trying to make, after starting over. I wish everyone could’ve...” Ugh—it’s just not fair. It made me sick now unfair it all was... “But—” My voice was froggy, I had more snot building up as I just barely managed to keep from openly crying... “—at least, we all made that final decision for ourselves, not under anyone else’s influence or control—it was the first decision we all made together, so... at least everyone died doing what we felt was right. Even me... the only reason I’m not dead is because I was able to go back in time.” I haven’t said this out loud to anyone before—it was all flooding out at once. “Shit—it’s just hard to think about—”

“—I understand.” He scooted up on the bed. “It’s all right, Takumi—just get it all out.” He just held me to him, and I buried my face in his chest, finally allowing my tears to spill while he rubbed my back. “There’s no need to feel embarrassed... I’ll listen if you want to talk about it.”

“... thanks.” I sniffed my snot back in my head. “Ugh, sorry—your shirt.”

“Don’t worry about that.” He pat my hair, running his fingers through it. “Just get it all out... You’ve been holding a lot in all by yourself.” I just let myself cry into his shirt...

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My face hurts... I just want to take a nap.

Eito pat the back of my hair. “Do you feel better now, Takumi?”

“I actually do...” I snuggled into him some more. “But now I’m just exhausted...”

“Haha...” He wrapped his arm around me more snugly. “Well—I don’t mind if you want to take a nap. If it’s all right that I stay with you...”

“Yeah... that’s fine.” I let my eyes close. It was actually really comfortable having him here... “I feel a lot better getting all that out in the open...”

“I know what you mean.” He laughed lightly—I could feel the puff of breath hitting the top of my hair. “I feel better, too, Takumi... This may sound odd to you, but acknowledging that darkness that I still have, and knowing that you still want to believe in me and be close to me like this... I don’t know how to describe it.” He rested his cheek on top of my head. “It’s a good feeling...”

He was so embarrassingly straightforward... but I knew just what he meant. “Me, too...” I let my eyes close. I don’t even care that my door is propped open, it’s not like I can see it from here, anyway...

“... oh, Takumi?”

“... yeah?”

I felt his nails lightly raking my back—they weren’t long or sharp like Yugamu’s, but more hard and squared—it felt pretty good. “I apologize for saying something unnecessary yesterday, while you were resting... Well, I suppose it’s more accurate to say that I felt it was something you needed to hear—but I just didn’t choose the time and place very well.”

“Oh... which part?” My memory of what we talked about was vague, and I fell asleep while he was reading again...

“About the people of this planet being driven by religious dogma... I shouldn’t have brought it up so out-of-pocket. I didn’t even ask if you were all right, after your hand was forced to take that Commander’s life...”

“... My hand wasn’t forced.” I let my forehead rest against his chest so I could breathe easier. “Kyoshika and Yugamu talked to me about what it means to be a warrior—stepping onto the battlefield means accepting your own death. I took that to heart... So it was my decision to grant Pakron a warrior’s death, when it became clear that she would rather die than surrender.”

“... I see.” He rubbed my back with his palm. “You really are kind, Takumi.” Please, don’t say that... “Oh—I’m sorry. I suppose I shouldn’t say that so carelessly, haha... Even if I do mean it.” Geez...

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“Sumino!” Sirei popped up on the table while we were trying to enjoy a low-key lunch. “Just the person I wanted to see—good news!” He gave me a thumbs up. “I’m nearly finished running that loaded little simulation you asked me to—and the higher-ups gave their approval to talk about you-know-what, to boot!”

I set down my yakisoba bread. “Just so we’re on the same page... ‘You-know-what’ refers to where we are?”

“That’s right!” He winked. “But don’t go getting greedy, now—if you start going off-book and blab to everyone about you-know-what, you-know-where, you-know-why...” He grinned crookedly, a dark shadow cast over his eyes. “You-know-what will happen!”

“Haah...” It’s like he wants me to destroy him... “I got it. But—I’d appreciate it if you’d run another simulation on you-know-what, as well. The others deserve to know... and the people up on the Artificial Satellite do, too. Or you-know-what will inevitably happen...”

“Whew!” Sirei wiped his brow with a little cloth. “You sure know where to twist the knife, Sumino—well, let’s just take things one step at a time, eh, sport?!” He pat my shoulder, like he was my coach or my Dad or something... “Which reminds me—ta-dah!” He popped one of those party favors with confetti in it. “Good news, Aotsuki—you’re back on the team! Hooray!”

“Huh?! Just like that?”

It looked like Sirei was picking his nose... “Well, humanity can use all the fighting power we can get—plus, I heard that this lil Stringbean is actually pretty strong!” He gave a thumbs up. “I even saw it for myself against that troublesome Shadow Clone Jutsu Commander!” Shadow what now? “That’s what Magadori called her, anyway.” Ah—I see. “So congratulations, Aotsuki—you have the privilege of giving your life for the sake of humanity’s future!” He blew another party popper.

Eito pushed up his glasses. “Let me guess... The trade-off is I’m still not registered in the Revive-O-Matic?”

“You got it, sport!” He still had some confetti stuck to his hat—I wasn’t going to say anything. “So pull off all the reckless moves you want, and you can die a hero!” He gave a thumbs up.

“Geez...” He might as well say, “If you get yourself killed, that’ll kill two birds with one stone!” “So—does that mean Eito gets to go back to his own room?”

“Well—let’s not get crazy here, Sumino!” Sirei looked like he was sweating a bit.

“But you trusted him enough to give him back his Infuser...”

Eito smiled. “While I appreciate that I’m no longer confined to a cage, that cold pod room is just so dreary... It’s no wonder I find myself wanting to sleep in a normal bed for some comfort...” Oh my God—I can’t believe he just said that to freaking Sirei...

“Hmph!” Sirei folded his arms. “Well—if you can get the others to be less antsy around this traitor, I’ll consider letting him back into his room! But you better believe he’s getting locked in from the nighttime announcement ‘til morning!”

“That’s fine.” Eito and I exchanged a glance. Honestly, if I had to keep my door open at all times, that wasn’t much worse... “So—how do we quantify everyone being ‘less antsy’?” I turned back to Sirei. “Should we take an anonymous poll?”

Eito smiled at me. “I believe there’s a more direct way to gauge everyone’s comfort level, Takumi—didn’t you say you wanted me to go with you when you gave everyone their gifts?”

“Oh, yeah—thanks for reminding me.”

Eito clasped his hands on the table. “Why don’t we call them ‘housewarming gifts’ from me, everyone’s new neighbor? We’ll let them all know I’m back on the team, and we’ll see how everyone reacts.”

Sirei shrugged. “However you want to play it, Sumino—I was going to make the announcement myself at dinner time, anyway.”

“Hmm...” Honestly... As much as I wanted Eito to at least try to get along with everyone, and I wanted the others to feel assured that he wasn’t a danger to them anymore... I couldn’t help but feel that dragging him along on my gift-giving spree would feel disingenuous at best, and like a shallow bribe at worst. But—it’s not like anyone could dislike him any more than they already do, now that he’s lost his motivation to kill us all. “I guess it couldn’t hurt.” Why did those feel like “famous last words”...

百

“Haha... Not to echo what First Eito said, Takumi... But you really were too nice to me on that third day.” Eito pressed his hand to his heart. “Bringing me so many books, and that color-changing bookmark I still use... Haha—before you came back the second time, if you had put your face so close to the bars like that, I might’ve tried to push your eyes in with my thumbs!”

“Yeesh... I honestly can’t tell if you’re joking.” I kept scrolling through the list on the Gift-O-Matic.

“Haha... Well, I’m sure I would have relished imagining it... But I probably wouldn’t have actually done it.”

“‘Probably’...” Actually... That oddly reminded me of something else I’d been curious about. “Hey... Can I ask you a question?” I peered up at him. “I guess it’s more of a hypothetical...”

“What is it, Takumi?”

“Well...” I fully anticipated having another “chest pain”... “The way you were before—did you go out of your way to not shake peoples’ hands?” My eyes flicked down to his bare hands. “Your other selves always wore gloves before...”

“Hmm.” He hid his hands in his jacket pockets with a small smile. “I suppose I would avoid it if I could—I steeled myself to having to ‘play ball’ to get ahead as a politician, and there were times that social convention required I shake someone’s hand, so as not to stand out as having antisocial tendencies...” What an “Eito” answer... “Why do you ask, Takumi?”

“Well... I’m wondering why First Eito would go out of his way to shake my hand.”

His eyebrows went up. “He did?”

“Yeah...” So far, no sharp pain... Maybe he got so embarrassed, he decided to keep himself busy floating around in “bloodspace” spying on other timelines, or whatever. I still don’t know how all of that works... “I guess I haven’t told you this... But First Eito fled the school a few days in, since he refused to fight or take what Sirei was telling us at face value. So we ended up having to go rescue him... That’s what finally convinced him to fight, he really came to our rescue when the next Commander came around.”

Eito rubbed his chin. “I see... He really was playing the long game.”

I rolled my eyes. “Tell me about it...” I glanced around the Rec Room, making sure no one was huddled in front of a slot machine or anything... “Well, anyway—I might’ve said some corny stuff when we rescued him, like, ‘We won’t leave a friend behind’...” Ugh—it was embarrassing saying it out loud, even to this corny Eito... “Then after he saved us in the fight, he came to my room that night and doubled down on the whole ‘friendship’ thing... And he even shook my hand.”

“I see... Is there anything you’re leaving out?”

“What? Oh, um...” My eyes went to the side. “Well... I actually carried him back to the school on my back, just like I carried you yesterday... or two days ago, I guess...” I scratched the back of my hair. “I don’t know—I said some pretty corny things about relying on each other, then he turned around and said some corny stuff to me that night... Honestly, First Eito was a pretty embarrassing guy sometimes, whether or not he was doing it on purpose... Oh—he did say something like, ‘It’s been a long time since anyone could call me a friend.’ He was probably being honest about that.”

“Hehe...” He was almost giggling to himself, with his really wide smile... it was almost scary. “I see... I’m glad you told me that, Takumi. Now I have some ammo against First Eito for next time...”

“Um... So what does that mean?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” He beamed. “Let me ask this—is that when he said you were ‘too nice’?”

“Well, not exactly... He said he was feeling ‘queasy’ and needed to go lay down right after. So I guess my stench and my piercing voice was too much for him, after all...”

“I see.” Eito’s eyes closed behind his glasses. “You said this was ‘a few days in’—so this was after he destroyed Sirei?”

“Yeah...”

Eito smiled down at me gently. “He must’ve been trying to make a break for it, but he got caught because he wasn’t used to fighting... I’m sure that was humiliating for him to be rescued by you. I’m sure he hated you in that moment... Looking down on him, forcing him to rely on you—making him endure your stench and your grating voice while you carried him on your back...” Um... “But—he still went out of his way to come see you, and shake your hand.” He winked. “Do you see what I mean?”

“... Yeah, I do.” I just turned back to the Gift-O-Matic. First Eito really was the most complicated guy in the universe...

“Haha—I’m saying that he was so smitten with you, he wanted to see if he could stand being so close to you!”

“—geez, you didn’t have to say that part out loud, I got it...”

◑ ● ◐

“Takemaru’s easy, he likes anything to do with bikes—and if you see something and think, ‘Wow, that’s tacky—whoever actually wears this junk must have bad taste’—that’s right up his alley.” He said that, but Takumi still skipped over the “leopard print undies” to print out some Rebel Pudding, whatever that may be... “And she may not look it, but Hiruko likes to relax and meditate.” He pressed the button on the menu for bath salts. “I saw this yoga outfit in here, but I thought that might be a little weird for me to get that for her—oh, and whatever you do—” He held up a finger. “Don’t get her wine.”

“I see...” I was really trying my best to “keep an open mind” here, but the idea of trying to memorize what all those hideous—I mean, our allies liked and didn’t like was exhausting—can’t I just leave it all up to Takumi? I don’t plan on ever being apart from him...

“And Shouma... He likes anything to do with animals, and cute things like plushies, but I already got him one last time—so let’s get him some protein powder.” He pressed another button. “He’s been really taking to Takemaru’s training—it keeps him motivated to get him exercise equipment. Oh—” He held up another finger. “Just don’t get him the trash can. I don’t care how much he calls himself ‘trash’—I don’t want to encourage him.”

How exhausting... “Did Shouma’s self-esteem improve at all in your timeline, Takumi?”

He didn’t answer right away. “... Somewhat.” That meant “no”... “And Gaku...” He sighed. “Just stick with this fool’s gold bar, that’ll keep him happy...” He kept scrolling through the menu absently. “... He likes things that remind him of his siblings, like festival goods and snacks that kids like... but I don’t want to upset him.”

“I see...” Well—that would explain why hearing about Shion’s true form upset him so much. I suppose even a fool has his merits...

“And as for Yugamu...” He sighed. “Just stick with medical tools, or a scalpel—and he can always use more anatomical models.” He quickly pressed the button for the assortment of “medical tools”.

“Aha... Why is that, Takumi? What else does that one like?”

He gave me a flat look. “You really want to know?”

“I asked, didn’t I?”

He started navigating another menu on the screen. “You see how you can set a filter for different categories?” He pressed the button to filter “sexy” items... Oh, dear. “I find some of these highly-debatable... But anything that has to do with torture or restraints, he really likes...”

“Hahaha... And how do you know this, Takumi?”

“... Because I didn’t want to give anyone repeat gifts.” He quickly backed out of the filter. “Anyway—look, it’s not like I always stick around after giving people their stuff, what they do with them in their own private time is their business.” He coughed into his fist. “Which reminds me... For Kyoshika, just stick with polishing powder for the Holy Jumonji Sword, and shounen manga or anko snacks.” Oh, dear...

◑ ● ◐

That horrible little goblin was peering up at us with his beady, red eyes... “WhAt’s THIs sUPposeD to BE? A bRIBe?” Ugh—his shrill voice pierced my ears, even with the earplugs Takumi graciously allowed me to print for myself...

“You said you wanted some gold next time, Gaku... Isn’t this just what you wanted?”

He was still glaring up at me, hunched over like we were about to take his Precious... “yEAh, bUt—WHY’s tHIS guY HEre toO?”

I put on my best customer service smile. “You’ll be happy to know that I’m back on the team, which means that Sirei no longer considers me a threat. Isn’t that wonderful? Now you can all relax, and there’s no need to make pointed comments towards me at the breakfast table.”

“ARe yOU SERIoUs?!” He clutched his head, his tiny goblin brain no doubt working overtime...

◑ ● ◐

“WHOA—LOOKS TASTY!!” I tried to keep up my smile while this one’s bellowing voice blew out my eardrums. “THANKS, TAKUMI—I’VE BEEN EYEING THIS IN THE GIFT-O-MATIC, TOO!!”

“Well, I’m glad you finally get a chance to try it, Takemaru.” Takumi smiled—he was the only thing keeping me sane on this fool’s errand...

The lumbering mountain ogre turned to me, his eyes overtaken by bulbous purple pustules. “HEY, UH—DON’T KNOW IF I TOLD YA YOU WERE PRETTY BADASS KNOCKIN’ THAT COMMANDER OUTTA THE SKY—JUST DON’T DO SOMETHIN’ FUCKIN’ DUMB AND LEAVE IT UP TO TAKUMI TO BAIL YOUR DUMB ASS OUT!!”

“Haha... Well, I certainly don’t want to make Takumi push himself like that again.” I winked at him. A tiny puff of steam curled up from his bones... hehe. Well—at any rate, if pushing himself to the limit to reach me in time after my suicidal gambit was what made his body tear itself apart from the inside—then I won’t be doing anything like that again. Unless it comes down to either him or me surviving—then, the choice is obvious.

“I GUESS...” The ogre hesitated, then his giant meaty hand slapped my back, leaving behind purple slime in its wake... “IF YOU’RE BACK ON THE TEAM, I AIN’T GOT NO COMPLAINTS. JUST EAT MORE PASTA AN’ CARBS AN’ SHIT, IF YOU DON’T WANNA EAT MEAT!!” Haah... I suppose even though his booming voice is the most difficult to endure... This one isn’t so bad, relatively speaking.

◑ ● ◐

“Well—I know you really like working on the school bus, so...” Takumi produced a shiny golden gas can from behind his back. “I thought she deserved a little something nice, too.”

The walking mound of mud and multicolored bile shrieked. “Ooh! tHAT’s SO niCE Of yOU, tAKumI!” Her voice was grating, but not the worst... “BUS-co de GAma wILl be SO haPPy!” [A/N: Thank you for confirming the bus name in the comments lol]

“Haha—I’m glad to hear that.” Takumi seemed to get along with her the best, out of all the girls... I even saw him talking to her in the pool. “Have you been getting some use out of that film camera?”

“YeAh!” More bile sloughed off her body, bubbling out again endlessly... “Although... I REALly like taking photos of old buildings and feats of engineering... OH! BuT thIS SchOol Does HavE a LOT of IntEreStinG arCHiTecTURe to It!” Huh... her voice almost sounded less grating for a moment there.

◑ ● ◐

“ehehe...” That odious black cloud absorbed the case of medical tools into its dark void. “how kind of you, takumi... and who knew you’d be able to tame this one to stand beside you so calmly...? hehe...” I refused to acknowledge his attempt at provocation. “oh, my... how well-trained, indeed. ehehe... maybe you and i have more in common than i initially believed, my misanthropic friend...”

I smiled brightly. “I sincerely doubt that, friend. Ahaha...”

“ehehe...”

“Haha...”

Takumi buried his skull behind his skeletal hands...

◑ ● ◐

“Thank you.” The sleek knight covered in shining black armor took the bath salt set. Her red eyes were glowing behind her helmet like will-o’-the-wisps in a dark fog, and they turned to me. “So... Our commanding officer has deemed you no longer a threat? At least, as long as our Leader is still around.”

“Aha... That’s right.” I leveled my gaze at her. This woman was almost as tall as me, and her cool even voice didn’t pierce my ears—I wonder what she’s actually like? “I’ve decided that my previous ambition to destroy all humans is now beneath me—so, you may rest assured.” There was no point “beating around the bush” with her—she clearly knew more than she let on. It was just a matter of discovering how, and why...

“I see.” Her voice held neither amusement nor faith. “And you believe this, do you?” Her sharp red gaze leveled at Takumi.

His skeletal hand scratched his vertebrae. “Well...” I saw his ribcage expand, as he took a breath to steady himself. “I know this will be hard for you to believe, Hiruko—but you might say I’m still able to receive information from the Eito from my future.” His body language gained more of a semblance of confidence. “And he did change, he fought and died alongside us—he even went through extremes to mutilate his body so he could stand being around all of us.”

“So... your mission ended in failure. That’s why you returned.” It was telling that that’s the part she zeroed in on.

“Well... From my point of view, no.” Takumi held her intense gaze. “We achieved exactly what we set out to do.”

“... I see.” Perhaps she rarely got emotional, and that’s why her voice held a more low, menacing quality, rather than being grating. “... You said he mutilated his body in order to combat his cognitive disorder?” Her glowing red eyes were fixed on me.

“... Yeah, why?”

The woman who looked like a world-weary knight folded her arms heavily. “Well... There may be a way to overwrite the root cause of his disorder... But it will be difficult with the way things currently are.”

A spark of life danced in the blackness of Takumi’s skeletal eye sockets. “What do you mean?”

Two red lights shone within the darkness of her helmet like warning beacons. “There was a machine here we could have used to aid him... But somehow, it’s already been destroyed.”

Takumi’s bones all drew together. “Well—good riddance. That machine shouldn’t be used on anyone, for any reason.” Oh? “How do you even know about it, Hiruko?”

“Hah.” Her piercing red gaze turned on me. “Why don’t you ask this one?” She flipped her long cape off her shoulder—I wonder if that was actually her hair. “He did threaten me, after all.”

Takumi turned to me, his black eye sockets wide with disbelief. “What does she mean?”

I sighed. “Must you phrase it so ominously... I merely stated that it’s obvious you know more than you’re letting on.” I smiled at her. “I merely let Hiruko know that if she was already aware about the existence of other timelines, I’d appreciate it if she didn’t keep such knowledge from you, Takumi.”

Takumi whipped back around to her. “Is that true?”

She was silent.

“Hiruko?” Black soot fell from his skeleton. “Please... If you know something—it’s really important.”

Her armor showed no emotion. “Now’s not the time to talk about such things.” Her arms were still firmly crossed. “However... Seeing as things have already diverted from the intended path, I see no harm in ‘experimenting’.” She turned away from us on her spiked heel. “Give me a few days to gather my thoughts. I’ll consider telling you what I know then.” And with that, she walked away, her armor clinking with each step.

“Whoa... You were right, she really does know something.” Takumi turned to me. “But—how did you know?”

“Well... It was mostly a hunch, to be honest.” I watched her go, but I couldn’t glean anything from her tightly-controlled body language. Allegedly we were all around the same age, but somehow Hiruko gave off the impression of a much more mature woman... “Her reactions when you talked about the future... or her lack thereof. She always looked like she wanted to tell you something, but she held herself back...” I looked down at him. “Since you’re the only one with Special Rewind, it was a fair assumption that she’s somehow aware of other timelines, or this ‘bloodspace’ I’ve been hearing about... Though I can’t fathom how.”

“I see...”

Obviously this was a point of contention for Takumi, but hopefully he felt like he could tell me. “What machine was she referring to?”

He didn’t respond right away. “... It doesn’t matter now, since Shion and I destroyed it.”

“Oh?” Well, that was surprising—so Takumi was already playing both sides of the fence and defying Sirei in his own way.

“Yeah—it was this brainwashing machine Sirei used to keep us in line. It can even change someone’s personality...” His skeletal hand clenched. “I never wanted it to be used on anyone again, so we melted it beyond repair.”

“I see... Well, I’m proud of you for taking such initiative, Takumi! Haha...” That sounded like a back-handed compliment, which wasn’t how I meant it. “Oh—I wasn’t being sarcastic just then...”

“I could tell.” Ah—his skeleton smiled at me. Even though he didn’t appear to have lips, I could always tell...

“You truly understand me, Takumi... I’m so happy.”

“Geez...” His skeletal fingers scratched the back of his spine. “Well... At any rate, it is possible that there’s a backup machine I never knew about, or Sirei or those ‘higher-ups’ could have another one installed—but thankfully, we have an ace up our sleeve.” Ah—that must be Shion threatening to burn himself alive. He really was brave—for someone who previously felt that he was living with no purpose, to still be willing to bargain his own life even now that he has a reason to want to live—I can understand why my other self felt such a strong kinship with him. Not that I could ever say such a thing to Takumi... It would only upset him to hear that. Although, he may have been able to intuit that for himself, anyway...

“Well—I’m curious how Hiruko would think this machine could ‘cure’ me in the first place.” I found myself rubbing my chin. “I wonder if they attempted to ‘overwrite’ my disorder in another timeline?”

“It’s possible—but if it were that easy, I don’t know why Sirei wouldn’t have attempted to do it himself. He said nothing could be done about it, in my second timeline...”

“I see...” Then—I suppose we just have to be patient until Hiruko is ready to tell us what she knows. Although she merely said she’d “consider it”... “Takumi—I also don’t want you to get your hopes up.” I smiled at him. “It’s highly likely that nothing can be done about my cognitive disorder—I’ve accepted that fact. Haha... This isn’t a fairy tale in the end, I’m sorry to say.”

When Takumi was sad, his bones took on a darker hue, as if all the soot was tightening around him...

“Oh, don’t be sad for me, Takumi...” I closed my eyes, gently reaching for his face. He was warm, and his skin was so smooth, compared to the rusty-looking surface of his soot-choked skeleton. “Haha—you might say that being able to see the Prince inside is its own reward! It’d just be greedy of me to also want to be un-cursed...”

“Geez—how can you seriously say stuff like that...” I could tell without looking that his skeleton was steaming... He was so cute. He was the only one who looked even close to “cute” in my eyes—well, I suppose that Shouma almost looked cute in a morbid way—he resembled a skinned puppy perpetually twitching on the floor...

◑ ● ◐

Takumi had nothing else in his hands, unless something was hidden away in his pockets. “Don’t you have one more gift to give out?”

“What? Oh...” His skull looked away shyly. “Well—I have a follow up for a previous gift, so I’ll just wait until tonight.” He peered up at the evening sky, which was just beginning to tinge with the soft yellow of sunset. “It should be clear...”

While I wouldn’t pretend to not desperately want to know what this special follow-up gift is that necessitates a clear view of the night sky... I decided to be mature and not pry. Haah... if only Takumi would pat my head again for my spectacular character growth... “Well, I hope that it is.”

He was peering up at me... I knew what that look meant. He wanted to say something, but he found himself gripped by shyness. So cute... “Well... I have one more gift.” His skeletal hand slipped in the front pocket of his jacket. Oh? Well, that must’ve been when he quickly punched something in while I was yawning and stretching in the rec room... “Come with me a second...” He led me up into his room... Oh, dear—this couldn’t possibly be a “sexy” item, could it?

To my surprise, he ducked into the bathroom, flipping on the lights. He led me over to the mirror, standing behind me... It truly looked as if I was being watched by a Shinigami waiting to take me away, although this one was rather short and dressed quite casually for such a grim profession...

“... Let me see your hair for a second.” He grabbed a boar bristle brush from the sink counter, hopping up on his skeletal metatarsals—ah, that was a new sensation... I’d never had anyone else brush my hair before. I wonder if this is what he felt like when I touched his sensitive ears... I almost got a little tingly sensation in my head, like my brain was being gently brushed...

Takumi used his fingers and the brush to smooth back the part in my hair, pulling all the loose strands back away from my face... Then, he clamped something down over the back of my hair. Ah—the rest was all falling loosely around my neck, he only secured the sides and the very top layer of hair, I suppose you’d call this a “half-pony”.

He was admiring his work in the mirror, the blackness of his eye sockets shining. “There—I thought you’d look good with your hair pulled back like that.” He smoothed and flicked the loose part of my hair a bit with his bony fingers—it gave me another little tingly feeling.

I couldn’t help but look at myself in the mirror... I never cared much about my physical appearance, as my priority was always to be clean and hygienic—it was the only way to feel sane in a world full of disgusting monsters and walking piles of filth. But... after feeling the tender care that Takumi took to brush my hair back just so, knowing that he thought about this beforehand, and did this to surprise me... it made me see myself differently in the mirror, for the first time. Ah—I was touched, it almost made me feel emotional...

“Ah—sorry if the color’s a little...” He reached for the clip, and I turned my head so I could see it in the mirror. It was a small toothed clip, made of sky blue plastic. “—it might supposed to be for girls, since it’s so small... But I do like that color on you.” If his skeleton steamed any harder, it would fog up the mirror...

I turned to him, trying to reconcile the warmth of his face, the rough tickle of his messy hair on my fingers, even though I couldn’t see myself touching them... I tried to imagine what color his eyes were, as they peered up at me with such open honesty... I felt like I was this close to “crossing the streams” in my mind—maybe there was hope for me to see the world as it really was, after all.

“Thank you, Takumi—I’ll treasure it.” He was so soft, just like the pastel color of this clip he gave me... With apologies to my other self, even if he was able to come back into our timeline through shenanigans of bending the fibers of time and space... I don’t think I’d be able to give Takumi up. Haha... I suppose if I’m going to be selfish and use every advantage I’ve been given to become the Über Eito, the least I can do is hold Takumi as tightly as they would’ve—even that stubborn First Eito, if given chance.

I felt bad for ruining the mood this morning, but I still had such a dark shadow of guilt weighing on my heart, and it felt wrong to kiss him with that feeling hanging over me... But surely this is all right, isn’t it?

◑ ● ◐

◑ ● ◐

◑ ● ◐

Sorry for the cliffhanger, but I want Eito getting back on the team and Takumi finally telling everyone about Earth and Futurum to get its own chapter. I really liked the intimacy of this one, I think they had some important conversations that were long overdue :3 They’re finally starting to understand each other on a deeper level, like a clear field lit by a blue moon...

So I just wanted to highlight this ending in the “Multiple Eitos” route—they just translated it literally in the dub, but this is an incredibly gay thing for Eito to say XD He just combined their last names, weaving them into a poetic statement about how they’re “one now”—like the literary equivalent of carving “Sumino+Aotsuki” in a heart on a tree (or the Japanese equivalent, writing their names under an umbrella). Takumi’s surname 澄野 is made up of the kanji for “clear” and “field”, and as we know Eito’s surname 蒼月 is literally “blue moon”... It’s just so fruity X’D He basically just said, “Now we’ll be Aotsumi/Eitaku forever...” And Kodaka co-wrote that route himself, what a madlad lol

Oh yeah, I read in an interview that Kodaka wants to make some DLC! If they have an “Island Mode” or Hotel Kuma Sutra equivalent and Eito says, “The moon is beautiful tonight, isn’t it?” I’ll lose my mind 🫣🥰 (Not me being delusional, hoping someone on the localization team is secretly reading this 👀) Hey, a girl can dream X’D

Thanks for reading, see you next time~ I’m sure I’ll have post-chapter notes for days in the next one haha

Chapter Text

 Chapter 14 – Not to Kill, But to Protect

Eito reached up to touch the clip at the back of his hair, but stopped.

“What’s the matter?” I suddenly started feeling self-conscious... “Do you want to take it out?”

“No—it just felt like it was slipping a little.” He smiled at me. “I suppose my hair is just too silky! Haha...”

“Haah... I guess so.” I rolled my eyes. “Well—I can go grab an elastic instead, then put the clip over top just to keep it in place...” It’d be purely aesthetic over functional at that point... I felt a little silly suggesting it.

“No... This is fine.” He slowly drew his hand away from his hair. “I don’t want to mess it up, since you took such care to get it just right.” I seriously can’t believe he can just say such embarrassing stuff without a shred of self-awareness... “Haha... I’m sorry, Takumi—is it wrong of me to say such things because you look cute when you’re embarrassed?”

“So you were doing it on purpose!”

“Well, that time, yes...”

“Geez.” Well... I guess that was very “Eito”—he was embarrassingly corny in this and every timeline. And even if his other selves were doing it on purpose—at that point, wasn’t it just a part of him?

Someone else was walking up the hallway. “Hi, Takumi!” Nozomi approached us with a gentle smile, and she even turned up to Eito. “Good evening... Hehe, I wonder if you know what this ‘announcement’ Sirei’s going to make is?”

“Well—I have an idea.” I found myself smiling a little awkwardly. “Oh—Nozomi?” My eyes flicked up to Eito. “Can I talk to you for a minute before we go inside?” I didn’t want to ditch him, but it was really important that I get the chance to talk to her beforehand...

“Oh—sure.” She also looked up at Eito, a little unsure.

“Ah—I’ll just wait for you inside, Takumi.” He looked lost for a second, then he awkwardly pushed the cafeteria door open.

“I’ll be right there. I just want to be prepared before Sirei gets here.” Ugh—this felt bad. I didn’t want to just shove Eito into the cafeteria by himself after all that today—but I really need to make sure Nozomi’s on the same page. I’m shocked that Sirei hasn’t confronted her yet, and I have a feeling he won’t just let Eito back on the team without addressing her “anomalous” presence, too... But I couldn’t say that to Eito, since it was her private business—ugh, just trust me, please, both of you...

“Well—all right. I’ll be right inside...” He pushed open the doors again. Haah... sorry. It’ll make sense in a minute... hopefully.

“Sorry about that—let’s talk over here.” I started walking to the corner of the hallway, and thankfully she followed right behind me.

“Is everything all right, Takumi?” Her tone sounded more gently concerned than anything.

“Yeah—I just wanted to check on you and ask where you’re at before Sirei’s announcement.” I made sure no one was around us, then looked her full in the face. “He’s going to announce that Eito’s back on the team—so I won’t be surprised if he questions your identity and why you’re not a registered member of the SDU in the same breath.” She clutched her arm. “I’m sorry—that’s how it happened last time, so I just don’t want you to be blindsided by it...”

Her eyes were looking anywhere but at me. “I understand... I’ve been thinking about it, ever since you brought it up to me.” She finally met my gaze again. “I’ve decided—that the best thing is just to be honest with everyone. About my involvement with Kamukura General Hospital, and sneaking into one of the pods with all of you... That’s what I told you in your timeline, right?”

“Right—and there’s no need to say any more than that, if it’s too personal.” Uh oh—maybe I shouldn’t have implied...

Her eyes closed. “So... I told you about myself as well.” Her hand tightened around her arm. “And my Mom...”

“I’m sorry, Nozomi—” I touched her arm out of instinct. “I didn’t mean to upset you—I just want to help. I don’t want anyone to doubt you or think you’re suspicious...” Oh—I realized she didn’t flinch or buck off my hand.

“... I understand.” She managed a small smile, though her brows were still sloped. “I don’t doubt your intentions, Takumi... It’s still just a little difficult for me knowing that...” She trailed off.

I had to choose my words carefully. “Well... Anything that your future self may have told me doesn’t need to be relevant to now. As far as I’m concerned—nothing exists outside of what you’re comfortable with telling me yourself. Whenever you’re ready—or even if you never want to talk about it at all. That’s fine, too.” I managed a smile. I hope she can tell I’m being sincere...

Her smile finally softened. “Thank you, Takumi... That means a lot.” She laughed lightly into her hand. “I can see why my future self trusted you so much... You must’ve been close to her.”

“Yeah... Oh, but—no pressure, though.” I laughed a little lamely. Ugh—I was so comfortable with Karua, but every time I try to reconnect with Nozomi, I feel like a fish out of water. Well, I guess there’s no helping that... I just have to accept that “Karua” was a one-sided memory... of course I got along with her so well, because I was essentially acting out both sides of the conversation. Just like Nozomi was talking to me while I was asleep... As comforting and precious as those memories were to me, I can’t expect a real-life friendship to feel that way. Friendships and relationships were complicated... And I don’t want to shy away from putting in the work this time.

“Hmm.” She hummed to herself, her eyes closing. “Lately... it’s almost like I can feel what the others feel. That my future self is telling me that it’ll all be okay.”

“That’s really great to hear.” This felt kind of cynical—my immediate thought was that it might be the “placebo effect”, since I never absorbed her cryptoglobin at all... But it might just be true. Maybe there was something beyond our understanding at play, like the morphogenetic field—or maybe it was just in human nature to want to connect with others. There didn’t have to be a “rational explanation” for it.

Even though we were the same height, it still felt like she was peering up at me. “Um, Takumi?”

“Yeah?”

She tucked a bit of hair behind her ear. “If... If Sirei does start asking me about my identity, and I freeze up or it gets too difficult for me to speak... Will you back me up?”

“Of course—I’ll corroborate anything you say, and offer what I know. Oh, but I’ll still respect your privacy...” Ugh—I didn’t want to keep reminding her of those painful memories.

Her smile looked a little sad, but it didn’t waver. “Thank you, Takumi...”

“Of course—I just don’t want you to be put in the same position you were in my timeline...” At least we didn’t have to worry about Eito throwing her under the bus this time.

She actually made a little bow. “I appreciate that... more than you know.”

“Whoa—there’s no need for that.” I scratched the back of my hair. “Um—I’m happy to help.”

She smiled at me when she composed herself. Aw, man, I just realized something—since Eito made all those over-the-top declarations in front of everyone, she was probably more receptive to my friendship this time around because she thought I was gay. Geez—I hope that didn’t come back to bite me later, like if they feel weird about being so touch-feely with me... Well—it was true I always thought of Karua as a sister, so it’d probably be fine...

“Well... I guess we shouldn’t keep everyone waiting, then.”

“Yeah—let’s go.” I turned back down the hallway. “Oh, um—Nozomi?”

“Yes?”

“Uh...” I fidgeted my hand in my jacket pocket. “I just wanted to let you know... In case you saw me and Eito going around today giving everyone gifts—I didn’t leave you out.” I shifted my weight to my other foot. “I have something else, but I wanted to give it to you the next night there’s a clear view of the night sky...” I realized I said “night” twice...

“Oh! That’s so exciting!” She pumped her fists. “I’ve been thinking about when we can finally use that telescope—is that what it’s for?”

“Maybe...”

“Hehe—then I’m looking forward to it.” Her eyes finally regained their usual shine. “I’m glad we had this talk, Takumi... To be honest, I did hear Kyoshika blubbering about shounen manga and a special sword when I walked by the gym...”

“Geez... Yeah, I try to get her a gift as well as something for the Holy Jumonji Sword... There’s a replica reverse blade of a legendary pacifist in the Gift-O-Matic, I thought the Sword could use that as inspiration...” Kyoshika was slowly drawing me into her madness...

“Hehe—that’s sweet of you, Takumi.” She beamed at me. “Well, there’s no rush—but it looks like it should be a cloudless night tonight!”

“Yeah—if you’re free, I’d like to look at the stars tonight.”

She looked to the side. “Let’s just hope that Sirei doesn’t object to me being on the team and forces me to leave...”

“I’m sure he won’t—he didn’t last time. Or the time before that, even.” Ugh—I just remembered, freaking Ass—First Eito hid under my bed like a stalker and spread everything he heard about Nozomi behind her back—what a dick. Even if I was trying to be more sympathetic towards him, it didn’t erase the shitty things that he did... Even if Shion was willing to forgive him.

“Takumi?”

“Oh, sorry—I was just thinking.” I put my smile back up, pushing open the doors to the cafeteria. “Well—let’s just take one thing at a time. I’ll be here to back you up, no matter what happens.”

She smiled. “Thank you, Takumi... Even though I haven’t known you that long, it does feel like I can count on you.”

“... I’m really glad to hear you say that.”

With a small wave, we parted ways inside. “Then—I’ll see you later.” She went over to sit by the girls from Second-to-Last, and Moko gave her a big clap on the back.

The more I got to know Nozomi, the easier it was to let go and accept that the Karua from my memories was just that—a memory. I’ll always be grateful for the memories I had with her, and my Mom and Dad—they helped shape who I was, and nothing can take that away from me. But the person in front of me now, Nozomi, didn’t owe me anything—not her friendship, or a dynamic with me similar to Karua’s. If she decided on her own that she wanted to be my friend, then I’d just be grateful for that, too. That’s how I felt about it... at least, that’s what I thought was the most fair. I’d be lying if I said I still didn’t want my best friend back... but I learned from my mistakes last time, and I feel like I can finally see Nozomi for who she is.

I walked around the long table, half-expecting to see Eito sitting by himself, or even boring a hole into me with his eyes as if everyone else in the cafeteria was just fodder—but I was pleasantly surprised to see him chatting with Tsubasa and Takemaru across the table.

“I’ve never heard of something like that... It’s called the ‘Baby Jar’?” Tsubasa was taking notes in her cute mascot notepad. “Would there be a schematic for it in the garage?”

“Well—I’m not sure if there is. I’ve only heard the name.” Eito pushed up his glasses, then he turned up to me when I slid into the bench. “Ah, Takumi.” He smiled brightly. “I hope your talk went well?”

“I think so, yeah.” I took my seat, resting my elbows on the table. It sounded like he meant it, and wasn’t asking passive-aggressively... “What are you guys talking about?”

“Listen to this, Takumi—dude says there’s a portable life-support system called a ‘Baby Jar’ so we can take Shion out with us.” Takemaru’s eyes narrowed. “You ever heard of that?”

“Me? It doesn’t sound familiar...” I looked up at Eito. If there was something like that, then Shion wouldn’t have to... “Where did you hear about it?”

“Aha... Well, let’s just say it was an echo from the future!” Okay... I hope he plans to explain it to me, even if he can’t say it in front of the others.

“I really want to try to make it, if I can...” Tsubasa’s eyebrows sloped. “It does sound pretty complicated, though... I’d need to know more about that material that can supposedly absorb hemoanima. It sounds different from what we have in the cages set up in the Courtyard...”

“Haha... Well, unfortunately I don’t know much more about it than that.”

“Oh—there was something like that in my first timeline, but I wouldn’t even know where to look for it.” Ah—now that Eito made me aware of it, sure enough Hiruko was glaring at him from down the table. He was right on the money—she did look like she was thinking, “How do you know that?” I really hope she decides to just tell us what she knows...

She caught me looking at her, and she pushed up her glasses and turned away.

“Takumi—I’m going to go get a drink.” Eito moved to stand up. “I want to show you something I’ve been able to make with the Ration-O-Matic, too...”

“Oh, sure.” Was it a drink or food? So he was actually serious about wanting to learn to cook...

Once we were far enough away, he leaned down next to my ear. “Sorry—that was the best I could think of on short notice.”

“Oh—no problem.” We stood in front of the Ration-O-Matic, watching it slice and dice and make julienne fries... [A/N: This was something Sirei said on the Day 1, and likely a sweet nod to the late great Robin Williams, and his merchant character in the opening of Aladdin :’)] “So—where did you hear about that ‘Baby Jar’?”

“Well...” He rubbed his chin. “Haah... I’m sorry to say, but First Eito has been a bit troublesome lately.” His brows sloped behind his glasses. “While you were in your two-day coma, he was out exploring ‘bloodspace’ and peeking at different timelines, apparently.” He sighed. “Just last night he was able to bother me in my dream—he told me about a rather bizarre timeline that went off the rails... And during his ranting, he happened to mention that even Shion was able to make it out alive by getting stuffed into a ‘Baby Jar’...”

“Really?” I felt my brows furrow. “Why would he even mention that—off the rails how, which timeline even is that?”

“Well...” His eyes went to the side at the others all gathered around the table. “I don’t mind telling you, perhaps at a later time. But just keep in mind that this is all hearsay.”

“I get it...” I licked my lips. “Well...” Great—now I wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it. “Can you at least tell me why he’d bother telling you all that in the first place?”

He laughed a bit. “Well, I can only imagine his goal was to make me mad, or jealous—though I don’t know why he’d think I’d be envious of some other timeline in which I’m already dead.”

“... oh.” So... it was true. At least, if First Eito could be believed... There were timelines out there where I decided Eito was too dangerous to just take prisoner the second day. I guess he could’ve died in battle, or by some other means... But for some reason, I felt like what First Eito said was true. Somewhere out there was a me who killed him with my own hands...

“Takumi?”

My eyes flicked up to his. “He told me that there are timelines out there where I killed the other Eitos myself, on the second day... Is that one of those that ‘went off the rails’?”

His eyes closed. “Well, if his words are to be believed—yes.”

“... I see.”

“Ah—I’m sorry, Takumi. I shouldn’t have even brought it up...”

“It’s okay—I did ask.”

“Oh, but...” He touched his heart, looking genuinely distressed. “Now it looks like I planted the seed on purpose so that you’d have to come visit me later to get some resolution—I apologize, Takumi, that wasn’t my intention, either...”

“Geez—now you’re just over-thinking it.”

“Well... That is something the old me would’ve done.” He smiled, seemingly disingenuously on purpose. “I could be rather manipulative, after all!”

“Wow...” I just shook my head, but I still had an odd smile. Unless he was playing some kind of 4D chess with me, he really did feel bad... “Well, since you know I’ll just end up hating you if you try to pull manipulative tactics on me, even if they work in the short-term—I’ll believe you.”

“Ah... I’d rather have Sirei blow up my bomb than that...”

I just rolled my eyes. Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure he meant that, too... “What about your other ‘reasons’?”

“My reasons? Oh—my ‘reason for being’?” He got a small smile—I’d even go so far as to say he looked shy. “Well... I suppose it would be nice to publish a book. Though I’ll have to decide what it should be about first...”

“That’s great—I’m glad to hear that.” His other self said he wanted to write a novel about “all his ugly friends”...

“Hmm.” He was contemplating while staring at the Ration-O-Matic. “That is a possibility... We’ll just have to see.” He was mumbling to himself more than anything. “Takumi?”

“Yeah?”

He got an odd smirk. “Well... I just want to make sure that you and I are on the same page. I impulsively showed my hand to Sirei the other day, when I thought he was going to blow up your bomb...” He stood a little closer to me so he could lower his voice. “But—I think it would benefit us if Sirei is aware that I’m also privy to certain facts, and knowledge from the future. If I’m ‘indispensable’ in the same way you are, then it’s more likely that I’ll be allowed to stay—even if it’s on a short leash, so to speak.”

“I see what you’re saying...” I resisted the urge to peer around to see if Sirei was standing around listening in... Apparently he could just appear out of nowhere, anyway. “Hopefully what you know doesn’t become too dangerous in his eyes, and he thinks it’s better to just get rid of you...”

He smiled. “What’s to say certain other people won’t refuse to cooperate, or even ‘self-terminate’ if something happens to me?”

I rubbed my chin. I can’t just leave it all up to Shion, I don’t like the idea that he’s actually threatening to burn himself alive to keep Sirei in line, it just hurts my heart to even think about... But if Sirei honestly thought I might pull a “Romeo and Juliet” if something happened to Eito... I have ways of threatening Sirei, too—I could write everything I know about the cloning and false memories out in envelopes and instruct the others to hide them, and tell Sirei that if anything happens to me, I’ve instructed everyone to read them... It would be devastating enough for morale and the mission this early on that he’d probably try to avoid that eventuality at all costs. Not to mention, my knowledge of the future is too valuable to lose on its own, like Eito said...

“Okay... Then you’ll be my contingency plan, and vice versa.” I nodded to him. “If I write everything that Sirei doesn’t want us to know in an envelope and instruct you to hide it, and only read it if something happens to me—will you promise me you won’t be tempted to read it early?”

“Oh, dear...” He sighed. “Well—since you’ve asked me to, Takumi—I suppose I can.”

“Honestly... I won’t be surprised if you’ve gleaned enough of it on your own, anyway.”

He pushed up his glasses. “Well, Takumi... After your announcement at dinner tonight, I think it’s time for me to tell you what I know. And what I’ve speculated on my own. You can decide what you want to reveal to me after that.”

I peered up at him. His expression wasn’t hiding anything—he just had a gentle smile. “That’s fair enough... Depending on what you tell me, you can probably handle me telling you all of what I know.”

His eyes closed. “I know you won’t like hearing this, Takumi... But my life before isn’t exactly worth clinging onto.” He gave me a sad smile, with this almost sarcastic tinge of self-awareness. “Whatever the truth may be—it won’t be as devastating as the life I believed I lived before.” My stomach dropped hearing that. “Being hospitalized indefinitely by my parents who were afraid of me, becoming some kind of self-righteous serial killer... Hmm.” He covered his eyes with his hand. “It’s embarrassing to think that I was so morbidly proud of having gotten away with such things, looking forward to the day when I could rain down righteous death on a grand scale... Haha...” When he put it that way... It was pretty frightening. It was just hitting me what he meant this morning... Being embarrassed looking back on his life was almost how Yugamu felt about being a death-obsessed assassin, but way worse. “I’ll tell you a secret, Takumi.” His smile was almost a smirk, but... “This is something First Eito would be too proud to ever admit.” He leaned down to whisper in my ear. “Everything I did, was driven by a deep loneliness.”

I just let my eyes close. “I wouldn’t consider that a secret... But thank you for telling me.”

“Haha—well, of course it’s not a secret to you, Takumi!” He winked. “It’s a secret to myself!” ... Eito really was an extremely complicated person.

 “... You’re really not beating those ‘saying that on purpose so you’ll come see me later’ allegations...”

“Ahaha... I’m sorry, Takumi.” He put his hand on my back, giving me a reassuring pat. “I really wasn’t trying to...” He rubbed my back just a little. “Now, do you usually prefer coffee or tea?”

Geez—whether he was trying to or not, I guess it didn’t matter. I’d be going anyway... He must really be hurting thinking about all that if he’d be willing to risk pissing me off by baiting me to spend time with him, anyway. Yeesh—this guy.

“... I guess I drink more tea overall, but I like the taste of coffee, too.” I watched as the machine whipped a kettle of hot water into one of its many hands. “Oh, but—mostly iced coffee, or hot coffee with a lot of cream in it.” Those were some of my most precious low-key memories with Karua, walking after school to a bookstore with a coffee shop on the second floor, with a great window for people-watching...

“I see—then perhaps I’ll request a French press for my room.” Eito had an easy smile. “I enjoy brewing coffee and tea—there’s a precise art to both which I find satisfying.”

“Yeah...” I almost said, “One of your other selves liked brewing coffee, too”—but I don’t know if he saw that one. I’d rather just forget about them, to be honest, even the more “normal” ones—those were timelines “I” didn’t belong to.

“Maybe you should take a coffee from the Ration-O-Matic for now—that way you can be impressed by the contrast with the coffee I brew.”

“Geez...” I guess I need to take something, since that’s the reason Eito gave for why we were huddled over here. Maybe if I take an iced latte with oat milk, that’ll be the final nail in the coffin for everyone just assuming I’m gay... [A/N: I don’t know if this is a cliché in Japan, but it sure is where I’m from XD]

百

Purple flame swirled at the head of the table, and Shion appeared in the middle of it. “Good evening, everyone.” He touched down on the floor, sliding into the bench next to me rather convincingly. “I’m glad I have some energy to spare so I can join you all for dinner.” He had a small smile.

“I’m glad you could make it, too.” I was getting a little worried since I hadn’t seen him all day...

“—hey, buddy.” Takemaru thankfully swallowed his bite of loaded baked potato before speaking. Aww—he called Shion “buddy”?

“Look sharp, Special Defense Unit!” Sirei hopped up on the table, tapping his little cane. I know he’s just a robotic mascot and all, but I wish he wouldn’t just put his feet on the table like that... “Now that all members are present, your commanding officer has an announcement!”

“Ah...” Shion’s eyes went wide. “Does that include me?”

“Well, whaddya think that cake and all that other stuff was for?!” Geez—he was less convincing than First Eito at hiding his feelings... “Ahem.” He cleared his throat. “In light of recent events, it is the decision of both Nigou and myself to allow Eito Aotsuki back on the fighting team. You may all treat his previous internment as ‘time served’. However—” He pointed his cane at the group at large. “Keep in mind that Aotsuki’s data still has not been re-registered into the Revive-O-Matic.” He tapped his cane with finality. “That will be all.”

“... That’s it?”

Sirei looked for all the world like he was picking his non-existent nose. “What, do you want a cake for that, too? Keep dreaming, Sumino!” He huffed, turning to hop off the table. “There’s no sign of any more invaders outside the wall of fire for now, so you kids can all sit in a circle and sing Kumbaya with your old-new ally if you want!”

“—wait!” I practically shot off the bench. “What about what we discussed this afternoon?”

Sirei regarded me over his shoulder with one beady little eye. “You want to have that discussion now, Sumino?”

“I do...” I peered between each person’s face at the table. “I’m sorry it’s taken me a while... But I wanted to tell you all something important I learned about this war in my future. And also... why I’ve made the decisions I’ve made so far, concerning the Commanders.” I bowed my head just a little. “I’m sorry for keeping you guys in the dark and making these decisions on my own... I just know it’s a lot to take in, especially this early on.”

A few people looked at each other, some studying my face, others looking away.

Takemaru wiped his mouth on a crumpled napkin. “—pretty sure I got a good idea what you’re gonna tell us, Takumi.” He held eye contact with me, then nodded. “Go ahead—we’re all big boys and girls here, we can take it. Uhh, and others, I guess...”

“Ehehe... Oh, my—I wasn’t aware we had ‘others’ here...”

“Um...” Shouma piped up from the far end of the table. “Takumi? I-I’m sorry for interrupting you and stinking up the table with my putrid breath... But I want to hear what you have to say, too.” His eyes scrunched closed. “I-I think I can remember some things, too, so...” Well... if Shouma wanted to share that we all “visited” the lab to receive transfusions, then... I guess we’ll see if Sirei is okay with sharing that limited version of what happened to us.

I turned to Sirei. “Sirei? Do Shouma and I have clearance to share what we know with everyone?”

He just sighed. “Go ahead, Sumino—but only to the capacity that we discussed earlier. I trust you understand.”

“I understand...” I’m surprised he even said that—I could only imagine what else the others would speculate there is after getting a bombshell like this... “What about your calculation?”

Sirei’s beady eyes closed. “I’ll share that once you’re finished, Sumino.”

“But, Sir...” Nigou hopped up on the table as well, looking like he was sweating.

“It’s all right, Nigou.” Sirei rested his little hands on top of his cane. “These kids are putting their lives on the line for humanity’s future, after all—they deserve to know these things.”

“Well... I suppose that is true.” Nigou looked pretty downtrodden about the whole thing... Honestly—if I did just decide to impulsively blurt out everything, it’s not like they could do anything about it. Even if they detonated all our bombs at once, we’d still be revived with that knowledge—well, most of us... And they couldn’t just brainwash it out of us, either. The main thing keeping me from blurting everything was not wanting to devastate everyone with the harsh truth... It would still be a delicate balancing act deciding when to bring that up.

I took a deep, steadying breath. Shion was peering at me on my side closest to Sirei. I gave him a reassuring smile. “All right... Well...” I turned to the table at large again. “As you all know, that ‘moon’ in the sky is actually the Artificial Satellite where the remainder of humanity lives, waiting for this planet to become hospitable for them to touch down on, and repopulate it.” I closed my eyes. “But... this planet isn’t Earth. This place is called ‘Futurum’... The truth is that Earth destroyed itself centuries ago, and the humans on the Artificial Satellite traveled lightyears away for generations to find a new suitable planet. And they found this one, which was near-identical to the lost Earth.”

The table was quiet.

“Whoa...”

“Are you serious?”

“So, then—World Death...”

“World Death did happen—on the original Earth.” I made eye contact with Takemaru, whose stony expression told me he already surmised as much... “But the so-called ‘invaders’ have nothing to do with that—you heard the Commanders calling us the invaders, right? Well... that’s because we are.” I folded my hands in my lap. “They call us the ‘Children from the Stars’—Futurum is their planet, and to them, we’re the aggressors waging war and decimating their population and their cities. All to take their planet by force.”

The table was deathly silent.

“Hrk...” Tsubasa had tears forming in the corners of her eyes—Takemaru put a steadying hand on her back. “So... All this time... we were the bad guys...?”

“... I’m afraid so. Although, we weren’t the ones who started this war, and we didn’t exactly have a say in being conscripted into the defense unit...” My eyes flicked to Sirei—he had nothing to say against those statements. They were true, after all... “So... Now you know why I went out of my way to spare the Commanders that I could. Proposing a peace treaty with Murvrum wasn’t a tactic to get them to let their guard down—I meant every word of it.” My hands scrunched, my nails pressing into my palms. “It was clear that Pakron would rather die a warrior’s death defending her home to the last, fighting off the ones who destroyed her planet, rather than ever entertain the notion of reconciliation... So that’s why I made the decision that I did. As difficult as it was...”

I waited, but no one spoke up right away.

“Sir Sirei... Is all of what Sir Takumi spoke of the truth of things?” Kyoshika maintained an even tone, but I could tell even she was shocked. She built her whole life around the idea of defending the weak, and upholding the side of justice...

“What Sumino says is the truth.” Sirei’s eyes were closed. “However, you should know that humanity didn’t storm down onto the planet guns blazing—initially, we came in peace.” Nigou just stood silently at his side, looking like he’d burst into tears any second. “An effort was made to communicate with the natives—what you call the Futurans. However, we couldn’t speak each other’s language, so attempts at contact eventually devolved into disputes, which further devolved into conflict, which soon escalated into full-blown war.” His eyes were shadowed under his hat. “Such inevitabilities are not uncommon throughout human history.” The way he phrased it as an “inevitability” really rubbed me the wrong way. “While the Artificial Satellite is a technological marvel, its resources can’t last forever.” Sirei held out his little palms while he talked, like he was proselytizing. “Humans need to feel the warmth of the real sun on their face, see the beauty of the ocean and feel the salty sea breeze, eat the fruits and vegetables which grow out of real, living soil...”

“While life is peaceful and stable on the satellite, for now...” Nigou finally spoke up. “It’s more accurate to say that we humans are ‘surviving’, rather than ‘living’.” He wiped a little tear. “I myself have never even seen the sky in person... I can only view a video feed of it through my avatar.”

Shion was silently staring down at the table.

Sirei tapped his cane. “I won’t make excuses for the way things were handled when humanity first contacted the Futurans. Things got ugly—and quick.” Then, his voice almost took on a softer, more teacherly tone. “But you have to understand—the humans up on that satellite are completely innocent. They just want to live, and be able to give their children a real home someday. No one alive now was responsible for pushing Earth to destroy itself—every human up on that satellite was born there, and has never known any other life.” He was looking at me as he spoke. “And your average citizen isn’t aware of the war going on down below—they just believe we’re here terraforming the planet and making it hospitable for human life.” His eyes closed. “But... Sumino raised a valid question, which I can’t ignore for the sake of humanity’s future.”

“‘Would humanity be able to live peacefully, if they knew their new life was built on the back of genocide’...” Of all people, it was Kurara who echoed my pointed question to Sirei.

“... Exactly.” Sirei rested his hands on his cane. I couldn’t help but wonder if the real Mr. Sirei had taken over his avatar at some point... “If the majority of humanity couldn’t live with the guilt, knowing they had driven an intelligent species much like them to extinction, and taken over their planet by force... Then we can’t very well proceed with our operation. It simply goes against humanity’s best interest.”

I realized I was squeezing my hands in my lap. “Most of you haven’t seen what a Commander looks like—they pretty much look just like us. Human in all but name...”

“I can confirm Sir Takumi’s statement.” Kyoshika folded her arms calmly. “I beheld the true face of Parmith, the Paragon of Devotion, after she attacked our party in the desert. She had long flowing pink hair, and a humanoid appearance—two eyes, a nose, and a mouth, not altogether unlike us. To say I was shocked would be an understatement...” I noticed she was looking at Shion. So... she made the connection with the heterochromia. Although, Eva didn’t have it while V’ehxness did, so apparently it wasn’t the default.

Sirei continued on in a patient, even tone. “So—now you see why I’ve allowed and entertained Sumino’s tactics of pacifism thus far—even though on paper, it’s antithetical to the mission.”

Eito pushed up his glasses. “You say it’s ‘antithetical to the mission’—yet to eradicate them all would suddenly ‘go against humanity’s best interest’...” He leveled his pointed gaze at Sirei. “But you admit that humans have waged war and killed each other over less, all throughout history. So—why should some foreign species who doesn’t even speak the same language be any different to them? Literally being human doesn’t stop humans from killing each other—why should the fact that they look like us give anyone up on the satellite pause?” As much as it felt like “stirring the pot”, I could recognize that he was playing devil’s advocate, to try to force Sirei’s hand with pointed questions.

To my surprise, Sirei actually smiled. “Well—why don’t you ask them yourself, Aotsuki?” His beady little eyes closed. “According to the Will of Humanity—that is, a simulation that I am uniquely qualified to run that takes into account the democratic vote of every human alive... Most folks would not be able to live without a guilty conscience, knowing their new planet was forcibly taken from another intelligent race.” He actually gave a thumbs up. “Or ‘on the back of genocide’, as you so eloquently put it, Sumino!”

I let out a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding. “Really?”

“Really.” Sirei folded his arms, puffing out his cheeks. “I won’t name names—but even some of us supposedly in charge fell for your lily-livered, flower child, love-and-peace rhetoric, Sumino.” Nigou’s eyes scrunched closed, like he was anticipating Sirei bonking him on the head...

“Hah... ‘Love and peace’, you say...” Eito clasped his hands around his knee under the table. “Well—that’s all well and good for the humans up there who have a conscience. But what exactly do they expect to happen?” I knew that look—it was the same look First Eito had when he was recounting all of humanity’s wrongdoings. “Just waltz into the Futuran war effort’s headquarters with their heads bowed, and apologize? Beg to be able to share the planet that their people destroyed?” He had every right to ask these questions... “To the Futurans, there is no distinction between ‘innocent’ humans and the ones who started this war—we’re all the same enemy to them.”

“You don’t know that.” I finally cut him off. I couldn’t look at him, I was just staring at a spot on the table that reflected the light. “There have to be civilians out there who don’t want this war to drag on—there have to be people out there who feel like I do. Otherwise—” My voice hitched in my throat. Otherwise—I left Nozomi all alone in a future with no hope. “—even if it’s humiliating accepting mercy from your enemy—it’s better to live. I have to believe that...” I held my head in my hands, covering my eyes before anyone saw the tears welling up.

I felt a warmth surrounding me—Shion had laid his head on my shoulder, his arm around my back. “I believe so, too, Takumi—while it may be endemic to human nature to war over finite resources, I believe that anyone would choose the option of peace over mutually-assured destruction.” Well... “That’s what I’ve decided.”

Shion really is mature for his age… “... It is?”

“Yes.” His calming voice helped center me a little. “But before we discuss that...” He lifted his head, looking right at Sirei. “Sirei—if you would turn off your two-way communication, please.”

Sirei suddenly went still. “All right... Press the little green blinky light in my eyeball in about a minute, would you?” Then I heard something ‘click’. Sirei’s avatar was just staring straight ahead like it was on standby.

Sure enough, after a minute, a small green light started blinking in his left eye. “That’s it—when he turns off his communication, he can still send encrypted recordings, like this.” Shion reached across the table and pressed his black eyeball.

“Okay, kiddo—it’s off.” Whoa—his voice sounded different, more echo-y—and his mouth didn’t move. “You turn yours off too, Nigou. Come over to my office, and I’ll share a headset with ya.” He was speaking more casually than he usually does...

“Erm—yes, Sir!” Nigou’s eyes went dark, and his avatar shut down, too.

“Now this is just a recording, so I’ll have to listen to the encrypted message you send back before I can respond. You have to press my right eye to start and stop the recording, then press my left eye to send it my way, and vice versa. There’ll be a bit of a delay—just be patient, kiddos. Ask Kawana to take a look at me if I don’t come back online after we’re done.”

We all looked at each other.

“Um...” Tsubasa waved her hand in front of Sirei’s eyes. No response. “Does that mean what Sirei says is normally being monitored by his ‘higher-ups’?”

“Well—it can be.” Shion finally relaxed. “That’s why I’ve asked him to honor my request to speak to us like this, in an ‘emergency situation’.”

“Are you sure about this, Shion?”

He gave me a firm nod. “Absolutely.” His eyes closed. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to discuss this with you in full before, Takumi—but I’m in complete agreeance with you.” He touched his heart. “And... While you were unconscious, I received a visit from my ‘other self’.” He smiled gently. “I know now what the right thing to do is—and I won’t hesitate.”

My heart started beating a little quicker... This was escalating more than I thought it would. But—it’s going in the direction I hoped it would.

“I see.” I rested my hand flat on the table. “Well, before we make any sweeping declarations to Sirei and Nigou—I want to hear everyone else’s opinion.” I looked between everyone at the table. “You know what my opinion is... But I want to hear your honest thoughts after hearing all that, not what you think I want to hear.” Yugamu was peering at me thoughtfully, his chin rested in his hands. “At the end of our one hundred days here... Shion is supposed to build up enough Undying Flames to power the missiles that will raze this entire planet.” Gaku swallowed when I made eye contact with him. “That’s the entire purpose of our mission here, and why we’ve been tasked with protecting the Defense Room.” Moko’s mouth was pressed to a grim line. “All living things will die—Futurans, plants, animals, pets, civilians and survivors...” Shouma paled a shade when he heard that. “Everything. Then, the Earthlings on the Artificial Satellite are supposed to touch down on the planet, and these ‘higher-ups’ will just pretend like there never was any intelligent life here.”

“That’s horrible...”

“Yeah—” Takemaru clenched his fist. “It was one thing when we thought those ‘invaders’ were fucking up our home—but if we’re the ones in the wrong, I can’t get behind that.”

“Hmph—speak for yourself, commoners.” Kurara shrugged widely. “I will not simply allow the Oosuzuki Empire to wither and die on that ant farm of a satellite—we must be able to flourish on this planet.”

“... It makes sense that you would think that way.” I wasn’t cruel enough to just blurt out that there were no Oosuzukis to “put her in her place”—but I couldn’t help but wonder if that would actually change her mind.

“... I also find myself at an impasse, Sir Takumi.” Kyoshika touched her heart. “I do not want to eradicate all life on this planet, especially now that it has been made clear to us that we are the aggressors...” She clenched her fist. “However—we fight for the survival of humanity. We cannot simply abandon them in their time of need—in war, ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ is a matter of perspective, so I am of the mind to uphold our current mission to fight for humanity.”

“It makes sense that you would feel that way, Kyoshika...” I realized I was starting to sound passive-aggressive, but I couldn’t think of how else to say it.

“Hmm... Perhaps my opinion will be unpopular.” Yugamu fanned out his nails in a shrug. “I’m opposed to senseless killing, as you well know—and eradicating an entire planet’s worth of life is as senseless as it comes.” His eye narrowed to a crescent. “However, leaving everyone in the TRC, including those most important to us, to slowly die off as they run out of resources is not acceptable, either.”

“I understand...”

“So—” He had an odd smile. “I would ask—who has the greater population? This planet, or the satellite?”

“... I’m actually not sure. There isn’t really a way for us to estimate that on our own... At least, we weren’t able to find out in either of my timelines.”

“I see...” He contemplated that for a moment.

“Oh... You know, there is a specialized computer in the Gift-O-Matic—I should be able to analyze the population of the planet and the satellite with it!” Tsubasa pumped her fists. “As long as there’s enough room on the planet, then—”

“That’s foolishly idealistic.” Hiruko pushed up her glasses. “You heard that Commander Pakron—it’s far too late to entertain the notion of ‘peace’ or reconciliation.” She glared sharply at me. “You’re only delaying the inevitable—the Commanders whose lives you spared will only keep coming after us, until one side has been completely eradicated. It’s either kill or be killed—and I’d rather we survive.”

“You don’t know that.” Even she was surprised by my tone. “With all due respect—Futurans aren’t a monolith any more than humans are. The ‘higher-ups’ who orchestrated this war have their own agenda, but even I have my own counter-agenda as an armed combatant.” I forced my clenched fist to relax. “I won’t stop trying to advocate for peace, even if there’s only one singular Futuran who listens. Even if at that point, it’s just self-serving my own idealism... That’s what I’ve decided.” I maintained eye contact with Hiruko.

Her eyes closed calmly behind her glasses. “You’re really serious.”

“I am.”

“Waah... Sir Takumi...” Tears were streaming down Kyoshika’s face... “In the opening act of one of my favorite tactical RPGs, the sheltered young Princess refuses to kill the assassins sent after her, once they have been defeated—she boldly declares to her mad King father, ‘If I die while being kind, then I will die with no regrets.’”

I breathed a sigh of relief. “Kyoshika...”

“Oh, for the love of murder...” Yugamu sighed loudly. “At least let me finish... Takumi.” His eye bore into me. “In your quest for peace—what if every human on the satellite turns their back on you? What will you do if we become the new enemy of mankind for assuring their emigration to the planet will never come to fruition?”

I didn’t avert my gaze. “I’ll deal with that eventuality if it comes to it. But I won’t destroy this planet, and I won’t stop advocating for the survival of both sides—even if it means that I have to resort to violence to ensure a lasting peace. I’ve accepted that...”

Yugamu clasped his hands on the table. “‘Resorting to violence to ensure a lasting peace’... I’m sure some might call that hypocritical, but as someone who lives in a perpetual shade of grey, I can understand the need for a lesser evil to prevent a greater evil from taking shape.” He grinned at me. “I can tell you’re serious in your convictions, Takumi—even if you end up going down in history as the villain for it.”

“... If that’s what it takes, then so be it.” I realized I was squeezing my fingers together again, and relaxed. “I’m not saying I have all the answers, either... This is just what I learned the hard way from my timeline.”

The table was quiet.

“Rngh—” Gaku was clutching his head in pain. “Shit—how am I supposed to make a decision like that?!” He was practically pulling his hair out. “I can’t just let all my siblings rot away in that group home when there’s this whole lush planet for them—but I can’t just let all the kids on this planet die, either!! It’s not like those Undying Flames missiles will just seek out the enemy soldiers coming to kill us!! They’ll kill everyone!!”

“Not just kids... Women, babies, the elderly... Everyone.” Takemaru clenched his fist. “No way am I just gonna let that happen. Forget the folks up on the satellite—I couldn’t live with myself if I let that happen.”

“Playing a heel when the audience is in on it is one thing...” Moko’s eyes were welling up. “But being the heel in history’s eyes...”

“Ima...” Kako’s small voice piped up, the twins having been quiet this whole time. “I couldn’t live with myself either...” She wiped a tear from her eye. “I know you only want to keep me safe, but if it means sacrificing everyone else on this planet, even the innocent people who don’t want to fight...”

“Kako—don’t worry, no one is making any rash decisions.” He pat her back. “That’s why Mr. Sumino is telling us everything now.”

“That’s right—I won’t force anyone to fight, or go along with what I’ve decided—not even as team leader.” I clasped my hands on the table. “Anyone is free to leave at any time... And as you know, there is an emergency escape pod to return to the satellite.” I looked right at Tsubasa. “Although it won’t be made available until day one hundred—at least, that’s how the automated system is programmed.”

“Automated?” She looked to the side in contemplation. “I see...”

Eito pushed up his glasses. “I don’t know if you ever became aware of this, Takumi—but coding is also one of my side hobbies. A ‘backup plan’ in case my foray into the political world didn’t pan out.” He smiled at me.

“Really?” Well—I guess that didn’t surprise me. “Well—if you and Tsubasa can work together, then it’s possible that anyone wishing to return to the satellite can utilize the escape pod before day one hundred, depending on what we all decide to do. Although...” I clasped my hands. “I wouldn’t exactly recommend doing that, since you’d be returning to an organization that deems you a ‘traitor’ for abandoning the mission.”

“‘Traitors’?” Moko’s skin paled even under her makeup.

This would be really rough for them to hear, but—it needed to be said. “Also... You should know this.” I tried to address the group without lingering on anyone in particular. “In my second timeline... The war escalated to a point that the Futuran Supreme Commander resorted to building her own missile, and it completely destroyed the satellite in one shot.”

The cafeteria was silent as a grave.

Kurara’s mask was pouring sweat. “In one shot...?”

“That’s right. I watched it happen with my own eyes.” I looked right at Hiruko. “That’s why, even after we defeated the Supreme Commander—we refused to allow the Undying Flame missiles to launch. We didn’t want any more senseless death... It was the first decision we made for ourselves, outside of the mission we’d been given.” I was underselling the weight of “our first decision”, but... I hope I conveyed how important it was.

Hiruko pushed up her glasses. “... I see. So, that’s what you meant.”

“... It is.” I swallowed. “And that’s also why, as team leader—I forbid anyone from absorbing the Commanders’ hemoanima, if we are forced to defeat them. It’s a huge taboo among their people—so if we don’t do it, the Supreme Commander won’t be desperate enough to resort to doing it, too...” I relaxed my hands. “That’s how she was able to fuel the missile, with a power not unlike Shion’s... You’ve seen it for yourself. I could even control those blue flames, to an extent... That’s because...” I suddenly started feeling a bit shaky, and hid my hands under the table. I couldn’t say it...

Shouma swallowed. “Um... Takumi?”

“Yeah?” I whipped to face him a little too quickly.

“Um—does this have anything to do with what I remember?”

I was grateful for any kind of segue... “It does—go ahead, Shouma.” I tried to smile. “I think now’s as good a time as any to tell us what you know.”

“W-well... it’s just a vague memory, I’m not sure if it’s all true, or what it means...”

“It is all true. Sirei can corroborate it, too. Oh, but—before we start the recording...” I centered myself again. “For obvious reasons, I don’t think it’s a good idea to share with Sirei or anyone else on the satellite that the enemy is theoretically capable of building a weapon like that—like I said, as long as we don’t escalate this war, there will be no need for them to even consider constructing something of that scale. And if we can prevent the Supreme Commander from cannibalizing her own allies’ hemoanima, they won’t have the capacity to build or power it, anyway. V’ehxness admitted herself in both timelines that their people have no need for weapons, as the ‘God of the Planet’ provides them with everything they need...”

Hiruko’s gaze was sharp. “Are you sure it’s wise to keep that information from our commanding officer, Leader?”

“For now, it is.” My eyes closed. “I just wanted you all to know, that that’s what happened because of the mistakes I made... That’s why, I’ll do anything to prevent that from happening again.”

Everyone was quiet. I knew it was a risky move mentioning the satellite, especially since they all believed that those most important to them were still up there—but they deserved to know.

“... I get it.” Takemaru smirked to himself, his eyes closed behind his shades. “So, Takemaru Yakushiji stepped up to do the right thing in the end. Can’t say I’m surprised.”

“Of course you did, dummy...” Tsubasa’s eyes were dewy. “Why wouldn’t we choose to do something like that?” She wiped her eye.

“... Do you guys want to take a break?”

“Oh, no—I’m fine to keep going.” Tsubasa tried to smile.

“Hmm...” Kyoshika’s arms were folded, the Holy Jumonji Sword resting in the crook of her elbow. “It is a lot to take in... But I’d like to hear what Sir Shouma has to contribute, as well.”

Yugamu’s eye closed. “I’m fine to keep going, but if anyone else wants to take a break, then we can do that, too.”

I peered around the table. “Guys?”

Gaku was sheltering his head in his arms, his face flat on the table. “Just keep going... It can’t get any worse.”

Hiruko pushed up her glasses. “We may as well hear this out until the end.”

“All right... So there’s no objections if I start the recording so we can send this to Sirei?”

A few people shook their heads, and no one spoke out.

“Okay...” I nodded to Tsubasa. “Could I ask you to be in charge of the recordings, please?”

“Sure thing.” She pressed Sirei’s right eye. “It’s on.” A red light came on in his pupil.

“Thanks—Sirei, feel free to corroborate or correct anything Shouma or I say. About our time spent at Kamukura General Hospital...” I saw Nozomi clutch her arm in my peripheral. It’ll be all right... I have a feeling this Sirei won’t fly off the handle and accuse her of being a spy, given what we’ve been discussing so far.

“U-um, well...” Shouma fidgeted with his fingers. “So... those memories really are true.” His eyes closed, and he finally relaxed.

“Yeah—we theorized that because your hemoanima is based on defense, that it protected you during the process, which allowed you to retain some of your memories.”

“Oh, dear—what ‘process’ is that, Takumi?” Yugamu’s eye widened.

I nodded to Shouma. “Go ahead, Shouma. I’ll back you up with what I know.”

“Okay...” His small hands rested at the edge of the table. “Well... For a while now, I’ve been getting these... flashes of memories. Um, in them, I’m...  looking up through some kind of pod, at a group of scientists all looking down at me, whispering and taking notes.” His eyes flicked up to Eito. “Um... That pod room that Eito’s been staying in... I’m pretty sure those are the same pods from my memories. There’s one for each of us... That’s probably how we got here in the first place.”

“That’s right—we were all transported here directly from that hospital.”

“Wait—when was this?!” Takemaru grit his teeth. “I don’t remember bein’ in no hospital!”

“Of course not... That’s because we were all asleep, and our ability to form new memories was being tightly controlled and monitored during that time. It was a top-secret project, after all.” I looked between each person’s shocked face. “I know that’s a lot to ask for you to take at face value. But—that’s how we’re able to use hemoanima. That power originally belonged to the people of this planet—Murvrum said as much. But because of the humans’ experimentation, we were able to be infused with that special blood, what the scientists called ‘cryptoglobin’. It’s the only force capable of damaging itself, due to its unique physical properties...”

“I see...” Yugamu rubbed his chin. “And were we deemed the most compatible with this ‘cryptoglobin’? Is that why we were scouted for this experiment?” His eye narrowed to a crescent. “Or did we volunteer willingly?”

“... We didn’t.”

I was walking a fine line here... I just had to tell them as much as possible without falling off the edge...

“We didn’t?!” Kurara’s fists shook in anger. “What are you saying—that I, a member of the proud Oosuzuki family, was handed over to be experimented on?! If I were kidnapped by some shadowy group running human experiments, it would’ve made national headlines!”

“Well...”

“B-but, Kurara—it wasn’t just one time, or just recently...” Shouma’s eyes scrunched. “I remember being in the pod as a little kid, too... And when I was able to look to the side, I saw some of you there as kids, too. Like you, Takumi—I can tell because of your red hair. And...” His eyes flicked up to Nozomi.

She turned to me, steadying herself with a deep breath. “Takumi...”

“Go ahead—it’ll be all right.” My eyes flicked to Sirei, making sure he was still recording. “Sirei and Nigou need to hear this, too.”

Kurara still looked displeased, but she kept her mouth shut.

Nozomi put her hand over her heart. “I can also corroborate what Shouma is saying... Because I also received cryptoglobin transfusions. But I wasn’t part of the same group as all of you... my relative was one of the head researchers at Kamukura General Hospital. I volunteered to assist with the initial research...” She spoke calmly, but I could still see her face taking on a clammy shade...

“It’s okay, Nozomi—we’re all in the same boat. Go ahead...”

She gave me a small smile. “You’re right...” I’m so glad the conversation happened this way this time around—now there was no material difference between Nozomi and the rest of us. At least, as far as the broad strokes were concerned... “Well... I didn’t take well to the cryptoglobin infusions, that’s why my hemoanima is weaker than everyone else’s, and I can only fight using the artificial Class Armor Nigou made for me...” She smiled at his avatar, even though it was still shut down. “Thank you for that, by the way...” Her eyes closed. “So... to answer the question I’m sure you have, Sirei—that’s why I’m here, despite not being a registered member of the Special Defense Unit.” I saw her hands clasp under the table. “When I saw you all being shipped off to the planet’s surface from the hospital—I just knew I couldn’t let you go off to fight alone. Even though my abilities are still weak—I just had to go with you.” She made a small bow. “I hope you can forgive me for not being forthcoming about that... I just didn’t want you all to think of me differently. I just want to fight alongside all of you, to the best that I’m able to...”

Kurara’s jagged mouth was crushed into a thin line. “Is all of this true... Nozomi?”

“It is...” Nozomi started welling up. “It is—I just never found the right time to bring it up. I just wanted to be part of the team, I hoped I’d never have to be ‘othered’ from the rest of you...”

“I was the one who encouraged Nozomi to tell you all about her origins.” I turned to Sirei’s avatar, which was still recording. “In my timeline, Sirei questioned her presence in front of everyone before she ever got a chance to explain herself, accusing her of being a spy and all kinds of awful stuff—I just wanted to set the record straight before it came to any of that.” This was dancing right up to the line, but... “You can look into the name ‘Kirifuji’ in connection to Kamukura General Hospital yourself, Sirei—provided those records haven’t been scrubbed.” I’m sorry, Nozomi—I hope it was all right to say that.

Nozomi bowed from the bench. “I hope you can believe me, Sirei—I just want to stay with everyone, as I have up until now.”

Tsubasa looked between Nozomi and I. “Do you want me to send the recording off now?” She smiled, even though it still looked strained. “I think we can use a break to think over all of what we just heard, anyway...”

“Yeah—please do.”

“Got it.” Tsubasa pressed his right eye again, then sent the recording off. Sirei’s avatar just stood there, motionless. Sooner than I was expecting, a green light started blinking. “Oh!” Tsubasa played the recording.

“Thank you, Kawana. I’ve received your message—we’re listening to it now.”

“Wah—you had us all worried with that long radio silence!” That sounded like Nigou...

“Haah... Just cool your jets and listen, Nigou.” Then both their avatars stood there silently.

“Whew...” Tsubasa pushed herself up, looking weary. “Well—I’m going to get myself an iced tea. Do you guys want anything?”

“Holy hell—I feel like I just aged in dog years.” Takemaru stood up too, stretching his arms high above his head. “I’ll give ya a hand, Tsubasa. You guys want a snack or somethin’? I could use a damn puddin’ break after that...”

“Gross—that plot twist wasn’t nearly as fun as my fave killing game with the childcare assassin...” Darumi stood up too, stretching her arms out in front of her.

“Hehe...” Yugamu grinned at me. “You know—as fantastical as it all seems, I don’t need to hear Sirei’s confirmation to believe your words, Takumi.” He also stood up. “Perhaps that’s due to my other self cushioning the blow—or maybe it’s just my excellent intuition. Ehehe...”

I actually laughed, just a little. “Maybe it’s both...” Honestly... I was feeling like I was in an odd daze, after talking about all that heavy stuff. Like I was walking in a lucid dream... Should I be worried about that?

“You’re such a charismatic speaker, Takumi. Even in your more soft-spoken moments.” Eito’s eyes were practically shining. “It’s a good thing you don’t have aspirations to be an evil politician—you could really make it to the top!”

“Geez—well, I have no desire to do that... Hmm...” I rubbed my chin. “Well... I suppose if there needs to be a neutral party to serve as a peace ambassador to both sides, I should at least give it a try...”

“Aha... You consider yourself a ‘neutral’ party?” He looked down at me knowingly.

“... I do.” Well—that cinched it. I had to talk to him at some point... As long as he felt that he could handle the truth, I had no more reason to hold it back from him. It sounded like he was only a degree away, anyway...

Eito smiled at me. “Would you like a toasted seaweed snack, Takumi? I’m going to get some for myself, as well as some genmaicha to go with it...”

“That sounds good—thank you. Oh...” I reached up, smoothing the loose bit of hair in the front that had fallen out of his half-pony. It was so silky, it swooped back almost like an oldschool curtain bang...

“Ah—it seems my hair is a rather inconsistent length to support this hairstyle, haha...”

“No—I don’t think it looks bad...” I gently repositioned the swoop of hair so it wasn’t falling in his face, settled back by his ear. “This part’s called the ‘money piece’—it looks cute hanging loose like that.”

“Oh, my—let me go check on the kettle.” Eito shuffled away, for once being the one embarrassed in front of everyone in the cafeteria. Well, I wasn’t trying to do it on purpose... but I’d be lying if I didn’t find it a bit amusing. He never actually put a kettle on...

“... Takumi?” Nozomi stepped up to me, her arm still crossed in front of her defensively. “Hehe... I can’t believe I was able to say all that. Thank you for helping to give me courage—”

“It was all you—I just mediated the flow of the conversation.” I smiled at her. “You found your own courage—I’m really proud of you. In my other timeline, you were too paralyzed of what the others would think of you to speak... So I’m glad it didn’t play out that way this time.”

I couldn’t help but peek at Kurara over her shoulder... She was turned away from the group, her arms tightly folded... It was hard to say which she was taking worse—the idea that the heiress to a weapons manufacturer might get outvoted by a bunch of pacifists, or that Nozomi hid an aspect of her true identity from her... Hopefully, this time around, now that Kurara could see that Nozomi’s situation wasn’t all that dissimilar to hers or anyone else’s—she’d realize she never had intentions to deceive her, and forgiveness would come sooner rather than later... I can only hope. Kurara still had a lot to think about...

“Oh—” I lowered my voice. “I hope it was okay that I brought up your family to Sirei... I just thought your story needs as much ‘credence’ in his eyes as possible.”

Her grip tightened around her arm. “It’s all right... Even if everything about... my Mom, does come to light... I’m prepared for that.” Her eyes closed. “I meant what I said—I just want to stand beside all of you. Even someone like me has a part to play...”

“Not just ‘someone like you’...” I put my arms around her. “You’re an invaluable member of the team, Nozomi—you always have been, in this and any timeline.” Ah—I just did it without thinking—

... I felt her hands lightly clutch my back. “Thank you, Takumi...” I heard her sniffle. “That’s all I wanted to hear...” Ah—I didn’t mean to make her upset—what do I do?!

I swallowed, and decided to do what I always did when Karua was upset... I gently pat her hair, smoothing down the crown of her head. “It’s all right... I meant what I said. You’re important, Nozomi... To everyone here.” I kind of chickened out at the last second... but I’m sure she could tell what I meant.

My eyes flicked over to the kitchen out of habit—Eito was shuffling around with the teacups, not doing anything in particular... I see. So, even someone like him was capable of emotional intelligence. Ah—did he walk away like that on purpose...?

百

After a few more minutes, the others returned with snacks and drinks in hand, a low murmur of unease around the table. Some people were asking Shouma follow-up questions, others had a barrage of questions for me—I tried to answer as best I could, but I was getting antsy to hear Sirei’s response... I noticed that Moko was excitedly talking to Nozomi, trying to cheer her up and keeping her occupied so no one else could bombard her with questions—that was sweet of her. Nozomi already looked like she was feeling better...

“Look—there’s a green light. Are we all ready?”

“Yeah—go ahead.”

Tsubasa reached across the table and pressed Sirei’s eye.

“Sumino. Are all of you gathered ‘round?” Sirei’s distorted voice came from his avatar at last. “... I’ve heard what you and Ginzaki had to say—as well as Kirifuji.” He sighed, like a tired middle-aged man. “While I’m in disbelief that such gaps existed in this operation to allow non-registered personnel to join the launch... I’ve looked into Kirifuji’s origins. Her story checks out—she is indeed the relative of a leading scientist instrumental in the research of what we call ‘cryptoglobin’.” He cleared his throat. It probably took a bit of digging to uncover that, with the cruel way Nozomi’s mother was tossed aside once the fruits of her research were deemed no longer necessary... “Although, a proper debriefing from my second-in-command concerning the presence of an unknown element is the bare minimum for the commanding officer to expect...”

“Eep! My apologies, Sir—we all have our different circumstances in life, you see, and I didn’t want to discriminate against Miss Kirifuji...”

“You’re too soft, Nigou! And we’re still recording, you know!”

“Wah! Please, forgive me, Sir!”

“Yeesh...” Takemaru was twisting his finger in his ear. “What’s the deal with those guys? They argue like an old married couple...”

“Hm-hm...” Shion laughed lightly. “You think so, too?”

“Ahem—at any rate.” Sirei cleared his throat into the microphone. “What Ginzaki has told you all is the truth—you all received transfusions of cryptoglobin to be able to fight against the Commanders who appeared. They were immune to conventional weapons, and the war effort grew desperate enough that humanity resorted to turning bright young folk like yourselves into living weapons...” So... That’s how he was going to spin it.

“‘Living weapons’...” Tsubasa looked like she was going to be sick again. “But—how did no one notice? If we just went missing from school, or our home—where did our families think we were?” She peered up at me. “How did my Grandpa not know anything about this...? Or did he?” Shit—how could I even answer that?

“Aww, man—how boring.” Darumi yawned into her hand. “And I was hoping we had false memories implanted in us with a flashback light to give us motivation to kill each other...” I don’t know how Darumi kept effortlessly stumbling onto the truth just by listing off the plot synopsis of her killing games...

“I won’t ask for your forgiveness for thrusting you all into this conflict...” The recording continued. “But know that all of you are the only ones capable of fighting for humanity’s future, and you truly are humanity’s last hope. You’re the only ones capable of ensuring a bright future for everyone living in fear up on the satellite right now—whatever form that bright future may end up taking.”

“... What does that mean?” If I didn’t know better... Was he actually entertaining my idealistic future, where the humans and Futurans can live side-by side? “Sirei?” Oh—I kept forgetting this was just a recording.

“And on that note—I’ve decided to allow Kirifuji to remain a part of the Special Defense Unit. It would be hypocritical of me to accept Aotsuki while rejecting her in the same breath. Her recovery skills have proved invaluable in defensive battles thus far, and she is still willing to fight despite not being registered in the Revive-O-Matic. This is a unanimous decision made by both Nigou and myself.”

“Whew—I’m glad to hear that.” I smiled at Nozomi from down the table.

“Me, too...” She was already looking like her usual self again. “I’m so relieved...”

That was it for Sirei’s message, apparently—he probably wanted to send us something to prevent dead air while he finished recording the next part right after. I noticed that Shion had remained completely silent during this whole exchange so far...

“How are you doing, Shion?” I held my warm toasted rice tea between my palms. “You were pretty quiet listening to everything...”

He peered up at me through his wispy hair. “Well... Hearing that all of you received ‘transfusions’ of hemoanima, and you were being monitored at this Kamukura General Hospital...” His eyes closed. “I can’t help but wonder about my origins, as well... How was I born with this power? And why is mine so much stronger and less stable than all of yours?”

I leaned down next to him, even though I knew that he’d be able to hear me just fine through our hemoanima... “If you feel that you’re ready, I can tell you everything I know, after this.”

His large eyes studied my face. “I think... I will be ready.” His flames flickered. “I don’t think I’ll be able to maintain my avatar much longer today... Feeling everyone’s conflicted emotions seems to have affected me, as well...”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes... But after I’ve slept on everything, I do want to know.” He smiled gently. “After we show our resolve to Sirei—I want to know what you and my other self know. I don’t want you to be alone, carrying everything all by yourself...”

“Well—I appreciate that, Shion. But it’s up to you—as long as you’re resolved, then so am I.” I gripped my earthenware cup between my palms. “Oh—but do you want to wait, and give Sirei your answer tomorrow? Your opinion might change, once you know the big picture...”

He shook his head. “My opinion won’t change. Thank you for asking, Takumi—but I know what I have to do.” He nodded firmly. “That won’t change, no matter what.”

I nodded back to him, with a small smile. “Well... I’m glad to hear that. Oh...” I leaned in close again. “I don’t want to get your hopes up again, but... a little birdie told me that there’s a device called a ‘Baby Jar’ that serves as a portable life-support system...” His eyes went wide. “I’ll do anything I can to make that a reality for you—Tsubasa’s already starting research on the construction of it, we just have to find the material that can suppress hemoanima—I saw the Supreme Commander use it in my first timeline, so I know it exists.”

“... Really?” His eyes were so large.

“Really—well, I haven’t been able to confirm its existence myself, yet—but if the ‘Baby Jar’ can be built, even in a rudimentary form—I’ll make it happen, no matter what.” Another irresponsible promise... but I had to make this a reality, at any cost.

“I see...” He pushed his hair out of his eyes again—he was starting to adopt more human-like mannerisms. “Well... Just knowing that you’d do that for me is enough.” He smiled brightly. “I won’t be upset if such a thing isn’t possible... but...” He bit his lip. “I sincerely hope it is.”

“I’ll make it happen.” I wrapped him up in a hug—I just moved on instinct. “Even if I have to keep coming back a hundred times—I’ll find a way.”

“Ah—ow. Haha...” One of his eyes must be scrunched closed. “... thank you, Takumi.”

“Of course—ow.” I got a sudden sharp pain in my chest—

“Ah—are you all right, Takumi?”

“Yeah...” I ground my fist into my chest. “Geez...” It didn’t feel the same as those other times...

“Aha...” Eito laughed lightly at my other side. “Well—it seems such a heartfelt promise managed to even stir a heart of stone.”

“... You think so?” First Eito... So, even he was capable of changing...

“Look—another message.” Tsubasa hovered her finger over Sirei’s eye.

“Go ahead and play it.”

The recording started with Sirei clearing his throat. “Well—now that I’ve given you bleeding hearts ample time to hug and cry in each other’s arms—” Gah—how did he know? Was it really just a recording...? “I’ll ask this of you plainly. Shion, Sumino—state your intentions clearly.” He was back to his usual hardass self... “Don’t hold anything back—tell your commanding officer what your mission statement is for your role in this war. I’ll decide how to proceed from there. Ohoho... Your response may very well change the trajectory of the mission!” He actually laughed like that in real life?

I turned to the group at large. “Does anyone have anything else they want to say before that?” Not everyone had spoken up...

Ima surprised me by speaking first, looking right into my eyes. “I want to hear what you and Mr. Shion have to say first, Mr. Sumino. That will determine what my sister and I will do...” He clasped her hand under the table. “My priority is to keep my sister safe, no matter what... But I also don’t want to force her to live a life plagued with guilt she cannot accept.”

“Oh, Ima...” She squeezed his hand tightly, then peered up at me. “Go ahead, Takumi... I want to hear what you have to say, too. Um...” Her eyes went to the side. “I hope I can speak for everyone when I say, that we trust you...”

The table was quiet. Some people looked more stressed out than others, Gaku still had his head in his hands, and Kurara had her arms firmly crossed—but no one spoke out.

Takemaru nodded to me. “Go ahead, man. Shion’s got a right to choose his own destiny...” He reached up and rubbed his eyes under his sunglasses. “I’ll back him up... Whatever he decides.”

“Takemaru...” Shion sounded genuinely touched. “Thank you... Everyone.”

Tsubasa wiped her eye. “I’ll start the recording whenever you’re ready.”

Shion and I looked at each other, and I nodded.

Tsubasa reached across the table and pressed Sirei’s right eye, and the red light lit up.

“Sirei... This will be the first decision I’ve ever made for myself.” Shion stood up straight, with his hands calmly resting on his legs. “I refuse to use my power to kill. I won’t allow myself to be used to fuel weapons of mass destruction—from here on, I’ll only use my power to protect them—my friends.” He touched his hand over his heart. “I won’t be cooperating in this mission to raze the planet. The Futurans deserve to live just as much as the humans do—just as much as we do. I’m going to believe in Takumi’s path to peace, and do all that I can to ensure that we all survive to see it through.” His hand moved under the table—it was warm, firmly clasping mine with flames that no longer burned. “From here on, I’ll use my power to manifest my avatar so I can spend time with them—I’ll burn as much of it as I can so the automated system powering the missiles fails. And...” His hand squeezed mine. “I know that from here on out, fighting defensive battles will be inevitable. Not everyone will be able to see eye to eye, after all that’s happened... That’s something I’ve accepted, along with Takumi. But I won’t give up, either... So if we find ourselves pushed into a corner, I’ll use all my strength to defend them. I will use this power I’ve been given—not to kill, but to protect.” He gave me a shy sideways smile. “That’s what I’ve decided... And you can tell your superiors just what I plan to do if anyone attempts to interfere. You know better than anyone what I’m capable of, and that I’m not bluffing, either.” His eyes closed. “For someone like me who has lived up until now with no purpose... I finally have a purpose I want to live and die for. And I won’t allow anyone to take that away from me.”

There wasn’t a dry eye around the table... not mine, at least. I chanced a glance at Eito... his eyes were closed behind his glasses.

“That’s all... Please send that to Sirei. Oh, wait—” He lifted off the bench a bit. “And—I’m sorry for being such a rebellious child, haha... Although, that is your fault for teaching me what it means to be human... Mr. Sirei.” He pressed Sirei’s right eye, then his left. “... I can’t believe I was able to say all that.”

I squeezed his hand. “You did great. I’m proud of you.”

“Geez—well if Old Man Sirei drops ya like a hot potato for bein’ a rebellious son, you just come to me. I’ll take care of ya.” Takemaru flexed his bicep. “You can even join my gang, how about that?”

“Oh, my... I can’t say I’ve ever thought about that...”

“Oh, for the love of murder...” Yugamu sighed. “Corrupting our poor, innocent child like that...” He had that worrying look in his eye... “But I’ll allow it this time, ehehe... I always thought of myself as the weird uncle, but being a Mommy wouldn’t be so bad either, hehehe...”

“Yeesh—I didn’t say you could join, Pretty Boy.” Takemaru crossed his arms. “We may get into some shit, but I’m not in the business of takin’ lives.” Uh, I’m pretty sure the intention of Yugamu’s comment just sailed right over his head...

“Haah...” Yugamu actually rolled his eye at me. “I wonder who has their work more cut out for them—you or me, Takumi?” Uhh...

Shion was peering between them, like he was trying to understand...

“Aha... Well, perhaps your limited depth perception also affects your observational skills.” Eito pushed up his glasses. “I’m afraid you’ll have to ‘get in line’, as they say.” Um—now what was he on about?

“Oh, I see—how sweet.” Yugamu smiled widely at Shion. “Well, I don’t blame you for imprinting on Takumi like a little duckling, Shion—just be careful with that wicked step-mother.” What now?? “But it takes a village to raise a child, you know!”

“Oh, Shion—listen to this!” Tsubasa bounced excitedly in the bench. “Did you know there’s something called a ‘Baby Jar’? It’s like a self-contained life-support system—if I’m able to make one, then that means you’ll be able to walk around with us, and we can even go to the beach and stuff—Takemaru told me he wants to clean up the beach so we can take you there someday!” Gah—too much information, ixnay on the eachbay! “If we can walk around with you in the Baby Jar...” Her cheeks got a little red... “I don’t even mind telling people that you’re my baby, even if that says something about me, haha...” I can’t believe how quickly this conversation went off the rails.

“Whoa, there wasn’t even any teen pregnancy in the spinoff games...” Darumi was peering up somewhere, touching her lips. “Though there might’ve been some mpreg, if that one guy hadn’t crushed himself to death in that hydraulic press... At least, I read that in a doujinshi...”

I cradled my forehead in my hand. “Shion... Please don’t listen to any of them. They’re just filling your head with junk...”

“Oh, but...” I realized he was still holding my hand. “About what Yugamu said, that it ‘takes a village’... Well... If there is a way for me to live outside of my pod, with all of you, then I don’t mind that...” Ugh—critical damage...

“Aha... Oh, dear.” Eito looked like he had a dark shadow over his eyes. “Well—if you had asked me before, Takumi, I would’ve told you that I didn’t have a paternal or maternal bone in my body... But disagreements over having children and how to raise them are a leading cause of divorce, and we can’t have that! Haha...”

“... Shion, we’re leaving.”

“Oh, but—what about Sirei?”

“What about him?” I stood up from the bench, pulling him up with me. “We already said our piece...” I was being crushed under a wave of second-hand embarrassment... it pulled me out in the riptide, and there was no escaping it now...

“Ah, wait—look!” Tsubasa pointed to Nigou’s powered-off body—there was a green light blinking in his left eye. “That means he just sent a voice message just like Sirei, right?”

I stood awkwardly with Shion, then decided to just sit back down again... “Well—we might as well listen to it. Sirei’s taking his sweet time responding, anyway...” I reached and pushed the button in Nigou’s eyeball...

“... Hello? Is this thing on?” That was definitely Nigou’s androgynous voice... “Ohoho—I just wanted to congratulate Mr. Shion in my own way, for growing into such a principled young man!” Nigou was apparently “half Sirei’s age”, but he had this odd old way of talking... Maybe he was raised by his Gramma. “The Honorable Sirei can be a rather stubborn old goat when it comes to these sorts of things—I’m sure he’s sending you a rather gruff message right about now, recording it a few times over until he gets it just right—just remember to read between the lines with what the Honorable Sirei says, Mr. Shion!” There was a crackling noise. “Oh, dear—having to do this manually is so... How do I turn this off—” The recording abruptly ended.

Shion was smiling. “Thank you, Nigou...”

A minute later, a green light blinked in Sirei’s eye. Tsubasa pressed it eagerly.

“... Very well. If that’s your decision, I know nothing I say will change your mind.” His voice sounded even. “You really are going through a rebellious teenage phase, aren’t you... Even though you’re still so small.”

“Ah—” Shion seemed taken back by Sirei’s uncharacteristically soft tone.

“Now—listen very carefully. You kids are not to breathe a word of anything we’ve just discussed in front of my avatar while it’s active. Are we clear on that?” He paused. “This AI avatar, the S.I.R.E.I. unit, is programmed to transmit progress reports at predetermined intervals back to the satellite, and there isn’t a way to override its programming. If you have something you wish to discuss with me off-the-record, you will give me the signal—pointing to your right eye. That way, I can shut down the avatar’s functions and resume direct control, allowing me to communicate with you through encrypted messages just like this. Every message we send back and forth is erased and overwritten after viewing.” We all looked at each other.

“So... He actually wants us to go behind the backs of the higher-ups?”

“That’s what it sounds like...”

“And another thing! You will ALL address me as MR. Sirei, or simply ‘Sir’! Do not forget that I am your commanding officer, troops—and I am also your teacher, so show some respect!”

“Huh?!”

“Oh... Mr. Sirei never told you that?” Shion looked up sheepishly. “He was injured in combat several years ago, and after that he was quietly shuffled into a teaching position... Um, that’s why he was assigned to look after me. He ranted to me several times about the higher-ups apparently ‘not knowing how to treat their veterans right’...”

“Haah... Why does the adult world sound so complicated?” I couldn’t help but eye Sirei’s little cane. “So... does the real Mr. Sirei walk with a cane? Is that why his avatar has that?”

“Yes, he does—I could hear it when he walked. Hm...” He laughed lightly. “I wonder if that was a subtle form of protest on Mr. Sirei’s part, to demand that the state-of-the-art avatar meant to represent him also had a little cane.”

“I wonder...” Honestly... this whole conversation completely changed my perception of Sirei—or Mr. Sirei, rather. I wonder if it was him actually taking over last time, when he told us that if we wanted to rebel against humanity, we had to destroy him...

“Oh—there’s another message already.” Tsubasa pressed Sirei’s eye.

“Now—I’m sure you understand the delicacy of what you’re proposing. The S.I.R.E.I unit’s programming cannot be altered or suppressed—its mission is to ensure the survival of humanity, carried out as directed. Sumino—you managed to exploit that programming, by posing a question of morality to the Will of Humanity.” Well... I’m just glad such a risky gamble paid off. “But sooner or later, the higher-ups here will catch wind of what you’re trying to do. Now—it’ll take a lot for those lily-livered scientists and politicians to actually come down there in person—they’re all afraid of what the Commanders can do, none of them have the guts to step into an active war zone. But—I can’t guarantee your continued safety if you openly defy the mission directive. That is why you must consider my avatar and myself, Mr. Sirei, as separate entities. Though it was programmed based on my personality, it is not me. Is that clear?” He cleared his throat. “Ahem—just consider the S.I.R.E.I. unit an old fuddy-duddy principal who won’t let you dance too close to your sweetheart at the school social, and Mr. Sirei as your friend’s cool Dad who lets you drink at home—but only a sip, and only where I can keep an eye on you!!”

“Oh my God...”

“Haha... That sounds more like the Mr. Sirei who raised me, and always talked to me in my pod...” Shion smiled to himself.

“Really?” Ugh—how much useless junk had Shion’s poor impressionable mind already been subjected to?

“On that note—Sumino, I have made some adjustments to aspects of the S.I.R.E.I. unit’s behavioral parameters, outside of the scope of the mission. There’s no need to keep your door propped open with a rock like some kind of religious youth camp.” Oh my God—“I couldn’t give two figs what you kids do in your own private time, long as you’re not hurting anyone—ohoho, I was young too once, you know! See? I’m cool, I’m hip, I’m with it!”

The table was deathly silent.

I just had my head in my hands, wishing a sinkhole would open up and swallow me...

“Haha... Well, Mr. Sirei is a little eccentric, just like his avatar...” “A little”, he says...

“Now—I don’t want an automatic maintenance report to get back to the satellite, so I’ll be signing off. Just remember the signal—point to your right eye! I’ll be watching... To see what this new world that you young people are capable of creating looks like.”

“... What?”

“But don’t think I’ve been taken in by your hippie-dippie words, Sumino!! In light of the impossible odds of this naïvely idealistic peace you propose to create—I’ve dubbed this new mission, ‘Operation: Sappy Sucker’!!” He barked into the mic. “Because that’s all you kids are—a bunch of tree-hugging, flower-sniffing, Kumbaya-singing, lily-livered, yellow-bellied, veggie-eating, love-and-peace-spewing sappy suckers!! Haah...” He sounded like he needed to catch his breath. “... That is all. Dismissed!!”

The recording abruptly ended.

“... What the hell was that?”

“Haha...” Shion laughed, his eyes crescents. “I think he was giving us his blessing...”

Sirei whirred like a computer fan kicking on, and with a few ‘clicks’, his beady little eyes blinked. “Whew—Niguo, put a repair order in for my precious, expensive body! Something must be on the fritz in the ol’ noggin’—Nigou?” He bonked Nigou’s powered-down body on the head with his cane. “Look alive, soldier!”

“Wah!” Nigou jumped as his avatar came back online. “Oh, dear—where am I?” He peered around the table. “Oh, I remember! Happy Birthday, Mr. Shion! Hooray!”

“You birdbrain!” Sirei shook his fist. “That’s not til—wah!” His little hand flew to cover his mouth.

Shion smiled. “So, I do have a birthday, just like everyone else...”

“Negative, soldier! I, uh—I just found you in the sewer! You used to be a little peacock chick, but you were mutated by radioactive ooze and grew into a teenager! It got me, too—that’s the only reason I look like this, I used to be a martial arts master, you know!”

“I see... What a fascinating backstory.”

“I’d like to confirm something with you from our school guidelines, Sirei...” Eito rubbed his chin. “Surely it’s inappropriate to ask one of us to prop open the door to our private room at all times...”

“Well, of course it is! No one wants to see your exhibitionist streak, Sumino!” Sirei’s avatar was fuming. “Go put that rock back in the courtyard where you found it, pronto!” I wasn’t even the one who said it!

“Well, you heard it straight from the horse’s mouth, Takumi!” Gah...

“But you kids still need to keep your head in the game and out of the clouds! No [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED], or [REDACTED], you hear me?!” He shook his little fist. “This is still a school, dang it! Just think with your big head upstairs, not with the little one downstairs!” He pressed his little hands to his blushing cheeks. “That goes for the ladies, too!”

If there were crickets in this school, their chirps would’ve been deafening...

“Oh, for the love of murder...” Yugamu sighed like the most maligned person in the world. “No [REDACTED]? You might as well tell me not to breathe air...”

百

“... I’ll never psychologically recover from this.”

“There, there, Takumi...” Eito poured some coffee from the French press into another glass container—he even “decanted” it like that. “Aren’t you glad to have your privacy back?” He was practically beaming. “I, for one, am quite glad to be able to move around freely again!”

I peered around his spotless, hospital-white room... “... It doesn’t feel a little clinical in here for you?”

“No—I feel most comfortable when my space is clean.” He set the mug down on the table. “How much cream do you take in your coffee?”

“Just enough to get a nice marbled color... Thank you.”

He poured the cream from a little metallic thingy he brought from the kitchen. “Does my room feel too clinical for you, Takumi?”

“Well—I just thought you wouldn’t want to stay in a room that reminds you of a hospital...” I shouldn’t have even brought it up...

“Hmm.” He poured himself some coffee, then sat down next to me. Even the couch was pure white... “Well, it doesn’t particularly feel like a hospital room to me.” He held his mug in his palms. “But, if it bothers you, Takumi—perhaps we can print some potted plants or paintings from the Gift-O-Matic to liven things up a little.” He smiled at me. “I don’t plan on spending much time in this room outside of resting, but... I just thought it’d be nice to host you since it’s my first day back.”

“Sorry...”

“There’s no need to apologize.” He blew across his mug. “We can move to your room instead, if that’s where you’re most comfortable.”

I peered around the pure white, almost lilac walls... For some reason, it reminded me of the room in the castle at the edge of oblivion in that one game, where the girl was just making drawings and chaining memories together endlessly... I guess, if it didn’t bother him, then I had no right to complain.

“... There is a landscape painting that I thought you’d like.”

He smiled, his eyes crescents behind his glasses. “Then I’ll happily accept it, Takumi.”

We sat in comfortable silence for a bit, blowing across our hot coffee, waiting for it to cool down enough to drink. I realized I was lost in thought, trying to figure out how I should explain everything to him when he inevitably asked...

“If you’re feeling drained from that long conversation in the cafeteria, Takumi—I don’t need to know everything right away.” He took a sip of his coffee. “I can always ask another time. Why don’t you just relax for tonight?” He gave me a smile, though something looked missing from it. “You do have plans once the stars come out, don’t you?”

“... Honestly, I think it’ll just keep bothering me if I put it off.” I scrunched my legs in on the couch. “Oh—is it okay if my feet—”

“Haha—don’t worry about that, Takumi.” He crossed one leg over the other. “You may look like a soot-covered skeleton, but nothing about you is dirty in my eyes.”

“I see...”

“If I really felt that way, I would’ve jumped up and taken a shower after spending the night with you!”

“Geez...” I buried my nose in my coffee, trying to gauge by the steam whether it was still too hot to drink... “You know... I wanted to ask you something.” Part of me felt like I shouldn’t, but—it’s not like that uncertain feeling would go away as long as I didn’t acknowledge it out loud. “I... It’s hard to describe, but nothing really feels different, does it?” I blew across the surface of my coffee, seeing little ripples. “I felt like it’d be such a big deal... I don’t know, like a milestone or something? Getting close to you...” For some reason, I found myself falling back on euphemistic language. It's not like I could just say “that time we jerked each other off”—only Yugamu could be that blunt... “But it kind of feels like business as usual, doesn’t it?”

“Hmm.” Eito set his mug down on the table. Then he let himself lean into me, slipping down the couch so he could comfortably lay his head on my shoulder. “I see what you mean... I just feel so comfortable with you it feels like nothing’s changed! Haha...”

“... Isn’t that a little weird?”

“Hmm...” He pushed up his glasses, then closed his eyes. “I don’t know if ‘weird’ is the word I’d use... But if I stop to think about it, it is shocking on paper that I’d ever get so close to one of those filthy humans I despised so much! Haha... But for some reason, I don’t feel that way... It’s almost like being with you is just a matter of course...” His voice was lower, almost soft. Well... that’s kind of why it bothers me. It’s almost like I’m slotting into the feelings of some other Takumi from some other timeline... Maybe I’m just overthinking it. “Oh, but—does that bother you, Takumi?” He lifted his head, sitting up a bit. “Does it not feel very ‘special’? I don’t know how these things are supposed to feel...” His brows sloped. “I’ve never been close to anyone in any capacity, after all... Even my hollow ‘friendships’ to get myself through school were just for mutual gain...”

“I see...” How sad... Even if those memories weren’t based on real people, Eito still believed he lived his life going between being completely isolated, and purely networking—soullessly making hollow connections to get ahead in life, never getting closer than arm’s length to anybody, waiting for the day he could “rain down righteous death” on anyone whose path he’d ever crossed... It was wild to think about how much he’d changed. It doesn’t seem like it’s possible for someone to recover from a sociopathic mindset like that, but... Here he is. He’s a completely new Eito, just trying his best, even though he has no idea what he’s doing...

“Takumi?” His brows were sloped in concern.

I smiled. “You know, it just occurred to me—I wonder if it doesn’t feel that ‘special’ because I’ve been so focused on the other timelines?” I pushed that piece of silky hair that kept falling away from his face. “I’ve been so obsessed with doing things right this time around—I keep thinking back and comparing, how things are stacking up to my first and second time around, what I’m supposed to do.” I bit the inside of my lips, but just briefly. “I can’t help but compare you to your past selves, or even those glimpses I got of the other Eitos out there—I just found myself thinking that you decanted your coffee the same way one of the others did, too.”

“Oh, is that so?”

“Yeah, but...” I set my coffee down on the table. “... I don’t want to keep doing that, if it’s robbing me of seeing what’s right in front of me.” My heart was picking up a bit as I relaxed on the couch, just looking up at him while smoothing that loose bit of hair behind his ear...

“... hmm.” He looked like he got that same tingly feeling as when he did that to me... “You know, I’ve been guilty of the same thing, Takumi. How silly of me...” His eyes were relaxed, looking at me half-lidded. “It’s in my nature to plan for every contingency... To be honest, I’ve been a bit desperate to use every possible advantage and scrap of information I can glean from my other selves, and the other timelines floating around out there—I’ve been compiling it all so I can try to do and say everything right. Haha... I almost feel like I have to, as the only Eito who’s been given such an opportunity...”

“I understand how you’d feel that way.” My fingers were sifting through the loose curtain of hair hanging over his neck. He really did look cute with his hair half-up that way—it was like the best of both worlds. “It means you have empathy, you know—there’s no reason to feel obligated or want to do right by your past selves, since they’re already gone... But you can’t help but feel warmly towards them, and hope they’re satisfied watching you fulfill their wishes...”

“Ah—I suppose you’re right.” He almost looked a bit embarrassed—cute. “Well—at any rate... I might be ‘ruining’ the preciousness of experiencing what’s right in front of me for the first time, by thinking of it that way... I don’t want to rob either of us of that feeling, Takumi—so I think that you’re exactly right.” He smiled warmly, smoothing my messy bangs aside so they weren’t hanging over my eyes. “When it’s just the two of us like this—it’s time to shut everything else out, and just dilate in like a fish-eye lens, haha...”

“Yeah—like when I would turn off my phone and just go ‘offline’ for a bit...” I haven’t had a smartphone in so long, that feels like a lifetime ago... “Just zero in on the moment, like nothing else matters... It’s just you and me right now... that’s all there is.” It’s like my body was getting that butterfly feeling all over again, like that first time when we were sitting in the courtyard—that excitement of feeling something new, and you didn’t know where it was going to go from here...

“Takumi—I want to go on more dates with you!” His eyes were shining. “Now that we can go out exploring beyond the wall of fire together—I want to go have a picnic up on a mountain—oh, or take photos of the breathtaking landscape! Or—once we all clean up the beach, I want to go back, just you and me... Maybe as the sun’s setting... Ah, I’ve never done anything like that before!”

“Me neither—and yes, to all of that.” I let my head touch back on the arm of the couch, while I wrapped my arms around his back—in his excitement talking about dates, he started leaning into me like it was the most natural thing in the world. My heart was beating faster... “I’d like that—no matter what else is going on, I just want to be able to slow down like this...”

“Haha...” He slid off his glasses, smoothly setting them on the table. “I’d like that, too... When all I see is you, it feels like time is moving slower...” Why was that so smooth?! “Takumi...” His kiss was more confident, but so slow and sweet, like every microsecond counted. It felt completely different... just zeroing in made everything feel so special, like I was experiencing it all for the first time... Ah—he must’ve taken my advice about the chapstick...

“Mmn...” I didn’t feel embarrassed at all—I wanted him to know how good it felt, like we were the only two people in the world—my heart was beating fast, I was already half-hard just from kissing him—I wrapped my arms around him tightly, my fingers scrunched in the back of his hair, pressing him closer against me with my leg—he let his weight collapse on me, it felt really good to be so close to him.

“Takumi...” He was holding me so intimately, his hand cupping my face with a kiss that was getting sloppier by the minute—this is what I wanted it to feel like the first time, all the nerves were out the window—just pure honesty and feeling, just wanting to be as close as possible and love on each other as much as we can...

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Later that night...

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A cool silver streak snaked through the night sky, carrying the glittering stars like a river. There wasn’t a single cloud in the sky, and the inky blackness of the night looked rich and blue...

Nozomi was crouched in front of the telescope at the far side of the roof, peering through the scope and then making adjustments.

I shook out my damp hair—I just gave it a quick dry after my shower, I was feeling so refreshed I almost felt like I was floating. The night really was beautiful...

“Hey, Nozomi!”

She looked up from the telescope. “Oh, hello, Takumi!” She peered up at the sky above us, stretching out in every direction imaginable. “You were right—I can’t imagine a more perfect night for looking up at the stars.”

“Me, neither...” I pulled out what I had from behind my back. “I’m glad I could give you this today—” I smiled a bit sheepishly. “You probably know all the information in here already, but—there’s really high-quality photos from old satellites and space stations, they’re really breathtaking.”

She took the astronomical almanac from my hands. “Wow...” She pored over the table of contents, then flipped the pages of the thick book. “Look at this one, Takumi—I’ve never seen such a hi-res photo of it in person!” She brought the book around, standing next to me while pointing at an intense scarlet nebula that bloomed out like a flower. “It’s one of my favorites—it’s called the Rosette Nebula, hehe...” Her finger glided over the glossy paper. “It formed from interstellar dust being trapped in a cloud of helium, hydrogen, and other gases—do you see the hole at its center? That’s where the gravity is centered, around a cluster of stars... that’s what keeps the rose shape together.”

“Wow... It’s crazy how stuff like that can form out in the vacuum of space.”

“Hehe—isn’t it, though?” Her smile was so radiant as she turned another page. “Takumi... These are all celestial bodies that could be observed from Earth, but you know—we have the opportunity to see things that no human has ever seen before.” Her eyes were shining. “Just through this telescope, a whole new world awaits us...”

“You’re right—it’s pretty exciting to think of it that way.”

She closed the book, gently setting it on one of the camping chairs she set up. “I’ve already made the adjustments to the focus... Do you want to take a look, Takumi?”

“Sure...” I crouched down, closing one eye while I looked through the lens at a completely new world...

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“And if you turn this dial...” The lens blurred, then a bright line of stars came into focus. “... Do you see it?”

“Yeah—it looks like four stars all in a row!”

“Hehe—I wonder what the locals call it? It almost looks like Orion’s Belt from the constellation visible from Earth... I’d love to be able to talk to the Futurans about their planet, and learn more about how they view the night sky...”

I smiled at her. “Yeah—I’d really like to be able to talk to them about their home, too.”

I heard a door open—Eito walked down from his hut, his hands hidden in his pockets. He gazed up at the night sky once he touched down after the last step—his hair looked really fluffy and freshly-dried. “You weren’t exaggerating—it really is beautiful. Haha, that projected night sky on the screens in the courtyard doesn’t even compare.”

“Good evening, Eito...” Nozomi tucked some hair behind her ear. “I was just showing Takumi some constellations up close—would you like to take a look?”

He seemed taken aback for a second, then he got a small smile. “I am interested to look... thank you.” His smile relaxed into something more genuine. “Ah—I just brewed myself some chamomile tea before turning in for the night. Would you both like some?”

“Oh, that sounds lovely! Thank you.” That was just like her—she could get along with anyone.

“Then, I’ll go grab some more teacups from the kitchen.”

“Ah, there’s no need!” Nozomi stood up, dusting the back of her skirt. “I have some in my room—I’ll be right back!” She shuffled to the back row of huts with a spring in her step.

I smiled as Eito walked up to our little stargazing camp. “So, you decided to join us after all?”

His hands slipped out of his jacket pockets. “Well... Nozomi’s obviously someone who’s important to you, so I want to make the effort to get to know her.”

“I see...” I let myself lightly collapse into him, my arms snaking around his back. Even if it was a little bit of a “reward”, I didn’t care—it was positive behavior I wanted to encourage. I hopped up on my toes and gave him a soft little kiss... well maybe two...

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“The first step was developing the series of long-range Event Horizon Telescopes all working in tandem—it’s called the Very Long Baseline Interferometry technique, when several telescopes are all focused on a singular point to create a virtual image—that way, the aperture of the telescope is actually the distance between the two farthest ones—so almost the full diameter of the Earth!” Nozomi was talking excitedly. “It’s almost like the filming technique of posing several DSLR cameras at different focal distances to create a moving image of a still frame—like in the Dot Matrix movies!”

“Wow—that’s crazy to think that people on Earth managed to capture a real photo of a black hole with the technology they had hundreds of years ago...” I sipped my warm and earthy chamomile tea.

“Indeed... Even someone like me can recognize the effort and coordination that must’ve taken, all for the sake of scientific discovery...” Eito sipped his tea.

I felt a slight warm pulse in my chest—I peered around, but I didn’t see him...

Just then, Shion came floating out from my room through the wall. “Oh, Takumi—there you are!” He looked relieved, floating over to our little camp. “I apologize for appearing so suddenly—but I needed to find you right away!” He had something in his hand, like a pointed stick...

“What is that?”

“Take a look.” He handed the object to me—it was an arrow with a steel tip, and a piece of cloth was tied around it... “It wasn’t enough to set off the alarm, but I felt something come through the Undying Flames—I think someone shot this arrow right over the wall from close range.”

“Oh my God...” I quickly started untying the cloth. “That means someone was trying to contact us covertly...” My fingers were practically shaking—it had to be a Commander, right? Was it Murvrum—or maybe even Parmith?

The others all gathered around me... Of course, it was written in the Futuran language. “Damnit...”

“Oh—let me read it.” Shion floated down next to me.

“You can read this?”

“Yes—I’m not sure how, but I was able to read a Futuran text in the library...” [A/N: They don’t give much explanation for this in-game either, it’s just hemoanima magic lol] “It says, ‘Send a messenger through the wall of flame to the east, when the sun is at its highest. I will await you there, along with a representative of those who oppose the dictator.’ That’s roughly what it says—the tone is more formal but short, I would guess that a man wrote it...”

I was sharing a wide-eyed look with Eito. “It must be Murvrum—he actually wants to talk with us.”

“Is that the great winged Commander that you allowed to retreat, Takumi?”

“Yeah—he attacked us on our first day, then again on the seventh, but he seemed hesitant to actually fight us—I told him we came in peace, and that even if he didn’t believe me, I wanted to work together with whoever among them opposed V’ehxness...”

“Oh my gosh—isn’t that amazing, Takumi?” Nozomi smiled brightly. “It sounds like you really did get through to them...”

“Oh, dear... Well, you proved me wrong, Takumi! Haha...” Eito pushed up his glasses. “If this missive is to be believed, then there are Futurans out there who want to entertain peace talks... If this missive isn’t merely bait to get you to let your guard down.” He gave me a very direct look, but it wasn’t reproachful. “I hope you’ll forgive me for playing devil’s advocate, but I’ll insist on accompanying you, just to put my mind at ease.”

“That’s fine—actually, the message doesn’t say to come alone, so—since there will be two of them, I might as well have a witness with me...”

“Hmm...” Eito was looking down at the missive while he thought. “Well—as much as I’d like to make contact with you, I think it best that I lie in wait in case things go awry—you should take someone with you who shares your same philosophy, and wants to help initiate the peace talks. That way, they’ll be able to ‘sense’ that you mean what you say... Haha, I might not be able to turn off my skeptical aura, you see...”

“I guess that’s a fair point...” It felt like my blood was rushing in my ears... “I still can’t believe this—I’m still kind of in shock. I can’t believe I got through to them.” Then... that means, that the Nozomi from my timeline... “Ugh—sorry. Haha...” I wiped my eye. “How embarrassing—this just means everything to me that I actually got through to someone...”

I felt a warm blanket descend over me—three pairs of arms, all wrapping around me, patting my back, my hair—I was even enveloped in warm flame.

百

“Then we should show this to the others at breakfast tomorrow—that will give us plenty of time to formulate how we want to approach them.”

“Yeah—I have to assume ‘when the sun is at its highest’ means ‘noon’.”

“That would be my assumption, as well.” Shion looked lost in thought. “Takumi—given what Mr. Sirei told us about the separation of himself and his avatar—how should we bring this up to the AI Sirei? Should we attempt to contact the Commanders while hiding this from him?”

“Hmm... I don’t know if we’d even be able to. I guess we could disguise it as going out to gather materials with a fire extinguisher... But he’d probably just see them on the monitor, anyway.” I rubbed my chin. “The AI Sirei did allow me to let Murvrum retreat—and he even ran that simulation when I asked.” My eyes flicked up to Shion’s. “It’s safe to assume that as long as whatever we do falls within the scope of ‘what’s best for humanity’—his programming won’t oppose it. So... As long as this meeting gets the ball rolling, and we convince the AI Sirei that making peace between the two races is in humanity’s best interest...”

“Then he won’t be able to stop us—and we won’t have to destroy him, either.” Shion breathed a sigh of relief. “I already feel at ease knowing that the real Mr. Sirei is on our side... I’d rather keep the AI Sirei around as a bridge between him and us, if nothing else.”

“Yeah—it sounded like we really got through to him, even with how hard he tried to reproach us...”

Nozomi laughed into her hand. “I guess a bunch of ‘lily-livered, tree-hugging, sappy suckers’ got through to an old grump like him, in the end.”

“I guess so... Honestly, I never thought something like that was possible.” My heart was racing with the possibilities... I just couldn’t stop thinking about it. Even with how relaxing stargazing and sipping chamomile tea had been—there was no way I could sleep now.

“Well—let’s talk more about this tomorrow, with all the others.” Nozomi gently flipped her braid behind her back. “Although, it might be hard for me to sleep tonight, thinking about what might be ahead of us, hehe...”

“Tell me about it—I’m just trying not to get ahead of myself.”

Eito had been quiet for a minute. “Well... I sincerely hope my cynicism is unfounded, Takumi.” He smiled, pushing up his glasses. “Haha... I’ll suffer the humiliation of being wrong, if it means you get to live that peaceful life you’ve always wanted.”

I felt a bit embarrassed that he said that in front of the others... but then again, why should I? It was just Shion and Nozomi... and I knew that Eito actually meant that. “Thanks... that means a lot.”

My mind was still swirling with thoughts as the four of us bid good-night—Eito went back to his room first, giving a polite goodbye to Nozomi... I got the vibe that Shion wanted to hug him goodbye, but Eito either didn’t pick up on it or was still feeling a bit stand-offish, so we both just said we’d see him tomorrow. Then Shion walked with me back to Nozomi’s room, bidding the both of us farewell before quietly disappearing into the night, promising to conserve his energy so he could join us at the “round table talk” tomorrow.

“Takumi?” Nozomi clutched her arm, then relaxed. “... I’m really glad everything worked out.” Her eyes closed. “It’s wonderful to know that there’s Futurans out there who are willing to accept our sincerity, and help us end this war... Even after everything humanity has done to them.”

“Yeah—it really shows their strength of spirit to be willing to negotiate with the enemy—I hope the humans in charge up on the satellite can learn something from them...”

“I hope so, too...” She hesitated for a second, then thankfully went in for a hug. “Takumi—thank you for spending time with me tonight. It made me really happy to share my hobby with you—and I’m glad I was there when we got that missive. It gives me hope for tomorrow...”

“Me, too...” I gently pat her back. “I just hope I don’t bungle it tomorrow, and they can tell I’m being sincere...”

“Hehe—just be yourself, and speak from the heart. I’m sure they’ll be able to tell just what kind of person you are.”

“I hope so.” I smiled as I let her go. “Well—I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, Nozomi. Oh—and thanks for showing me how to use the telescope. It really puts it into perspective how small we are, compared to the universe around us...”

She had a twinkling laugh in her gentle smile, just like Karua used to. “I know—but isn’t that comforting, in its own way?”

“Haha... I guess so, yeah.”

She finally turned and headed towards the stairs. “Well... good night, Takumi.”

“Good night, Nozomi—I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yes—I’ll be there bright and early!” She waved, heading up the stairs.

I felt a renewed sense of peace as I gazed up at the night sky, walking back towards my room—who am I kidding, there’s no way I’d be able to sleep tonight.

I knocked on Eito’s door, and he answered after a few seconds.

“Hello, Takumi.” He smiled down at me. “Back so soon?” He almost sounded like he’d been expecting me.

“Yeah—do you mind if I come in? There’s no way I can just go to bed after all that...”

“Of course—make yourself comfortable.” He moved and gestured me inside, gently closing the door behind me. “Would you like some more tea? I can make a lightly-caffeinated white tea.”

“Hmm... Actually, I’ll just take some more chamomile.” I pressed down the heels of my shoes to slide them off, leaving them by the door. “I don’t want to be dead on my feet tomorrow, so I have to sleep at some point.”

“Sure thing.” He went over to the electric kettle, filling it with more filtered water. I could tell he was relaxed when he talked more casually like that. “Ah—I forgot to give Nozomi her teacups.”

“That’s okay—we can wash them and give them back to her tomorrow.”

I watched as Eito rinsed the three teacups in the sink, then he gave the inside and outside a pass over with one of those scrubby things that dispensed soap from the middle of it... It was oddly relaxing watching him carefully clean the cups, including the handles—just like when I helped him dry out the laundry on the roof that time... I watched as he rinsed the cups and gave the inside a good swish, before setting them upside-down on a drying cloth. This felt so domestic...

“Hey, what do you think about this idea?” I had a small smile to myself, pulling off my jacket and laying it over the back of the chair. “If everything works out, and we’re able to settle down on the planet—I want everyone to be able to live in a big, traditional-style house together, with shoji and fusuma room dividers, and tatami—and a big garden with a little koi pond. Oh—and you can keep chickens in the yard, so we always know where the eggs are coming from.”

Eito was smiling, but it almost looked sad. “That sounds lovely...” He pushed his glasses up. “Haah... I have to live in the same house as everyone else, do I? Is it too much to ask that we have our own separate building, if it’s all one compound?”

“Well, that depends—if I manage to cure your cognitive disorder, will you consider living with everyone else?”

“... I suppose I can consider it.”

“Haha—you sound like Hiruko.”

“Hmm...” He rubbed his chin. “I do hope that she decides to tell us what she knows. She must’ve had a good reason to keep it from you in your previous timelines...”

“Maybe things devolved into chaos once everyone knew about the existence of multiple timelines...” I swallowed. “Or, maybe it wasn’t as motivating knowing that if we messed things up, we could always jump to a new one and try again...”

“Did you feel that way? Your second time around?”

“No, not at all—I really tried my best to make everything work.” I walked over to him, finally letting myself relax into a hug. “I had no idea I’d be able to come back a second time... It was only possible because I absorbed Shion’s hemoanima again.” My eyes scrunched closed. “And I didn’t want to have to do that...”

“I understand.” He pat my hair. “Well—I have no intention of ‘jumping’ and starting over, either—there’s no guarantee that I would still be myself on the other side...” His voice got softer. “For once I feel that I’m becoming a person worth holding onto, haha...”

I squeezed his back. “I think so, too...” Honestly—if I lost him at this point, I’d be pretty devastated...

“Ah—I know what you’re thinking, Takumi.” He lightly knocked on my head with his knuckles—that’s a new one. “I won’t ask you to make any more promises, but I’d be quite upset if you abandoned this timeline just because something happened to me!”

“... Well, good—because I’ve made enough reckless promises, anyway. I don’t need one more.”

“Hehe...” His rare genuine laugh. I felt him rest his cheek on top of my head. Even though it was a constant reminder of how short I was, I didn’t actually mind it... “Well—let’s not talk about any of that. While you’re here, all that exists is within these four walls, right?”

“Yeah.” I let my head rest against his chest. “Well... I have just one more thing I want to say about that.” I was staring unfocused at the couch, the perfect white cushions that had been put meticulously back into place. “I know I’m going to have to face what I did, and how I handled the battle with Pakron...” I let my eyes close. “So I think I want Kyoshika to go with me when I speak to them tomorrow.”

“That’s probably a wise choice, Takumi...” He smoothed down the back of my hair. “Haha—you did convince her rather easily to walk with you down the path of peace...”

“Geez... I guess so. I wonder how much of that was that game she played, though...”

“Haha...” Eito had a soft smile when he pulled away from me. “Well—why don’t we talk some more, Takumi? You can tell me more about your friend, the one who was like a sister to you.”

“Karua? Well... I guess I can.” As long as I don’t mention her Mom or anything too personal that could reflect onto Nozomi... I have a lot of precious memories with Karua that I was planning to just keep to myself, so... Maybe if I tell him about them, I can still keep her alive somewhere.

The electric kettle ‘clicked’ when it finished heating. “‘Karua’, that’s her name?” Eito went over to the table, giving the kettle a gentle swirl to bloom the caramel-colored tea out from the infuser.

“Yeah.” I sat on the bed cross-legged—for some reason, this felt more like a sleepover. That was kind of nice, too...

He poured the tea into a clean mug he took off the rack—he really was an enthusiast, he lugged up this whole wooden kitchen tree just for coffee mugs and teacups... “When was a time that she really made you laugh?”

“Laugh?” What a specific question... “Hmm... I guess she could have a silly sense of humor sometimes—oh.” I rolled my eyes. “Well, this didn’t really make me laugh at the time, but it is funny looking back on it—one year for Valentine’s Day, we were walking home from school, and she randomly told me she gave ‘a girl’ some chocolates, but she was nervous because ‘she’ hadn’t eaten them yet...”

“Oh, my...” He laughed lightly, handing me my mug.

“Thank you... Oh—so, I was like, ‘What?!’” I rolled my eyes. “But then she said that her Mom was working late again, so she’d probably have to put the chocolates in the fridge so they wouldn’t melt.”

“Ah, I see.” He sat on the edge of the bed. “So it wasn’t a bold declaration of love for one of your female classmates.”

“Apparently not.” I blew across my fragrant tea. “But...” Well—I guess I shouldn’t say that, I was about to say, “I wouldn’t be surprised.” Karua liked watching a lot of queer-centric shows and reading all kinds of manga... Wait, but that probably wasn’t something Nozomi would tell me while she was talking to me in my pod, so it must’ve just been my brain inventing it... Haah. I guess I turned myself into the “gay best friend”...

Eito had a small smile. “Did you remember something else, Takumi?”

“Oh—well, I guess there was one time she made me laugh pretty hard...” I scooted back against the wall, moving to prop the pillow up out of habit. “Oh—do you mind if I use your pillow?”

“Go right ahead.” He set his cup on the nightstand, pushing himself to stand up again. He grabbed one of the decorative pillows from the couch, and then scooted in next to me with it propped behind his back. “You said there was another time you remembered?” I noticed his small smile still looked a bit sad—but he was listening.

I moved my mug to my other hand so I could lean against his shoulder, scooching a bit until I was comfortable. I couldn’t help but think about that sad look he got when I rambled about my idea for us all to live in a big traditional-style house... It was like he was saying, “Well, I hope you’ll be happy... But that just won’t be possible for me.” I don't know why he would have that attitude, with all his sweeping declarations left and right... It was really bothering me, but I felt like I couldn’t just bring it up...

He finally relaxed, casually resting his hand on my knee. Oh, I must’ve bent my leg up into him subconsciously...

“Oh, yeah—this one time...” I snuggled into him some more, rolling my eyes at the silly memory I was trying to explain... “So, I have to tell you something else about Karua, to give you some context...”

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Just like Kyoshika, I’m not ashamed to say how much some games have affected me haha. One of my favorite of all time, Shin Megami Tensei III: Nocturne, helped pique my interest in mythology and other world religions, which eventually led me down the path to becoming a more open-minded and empathetic person :) Did you guys know that Toby Fox cited SMT games as one of his main influences for Undertale? ^_^ There are a lot of little moments in games where pacifism and compassion is the answer, which I always appreciate. (Spoilers for an almost 30 year old game getting a remaster lol) Like getting the True Ending in Suikoden II by only Defending against Jowy in their final duel, and refusing to fight or take his life at the end.

Initially I planned for “Mr. Sirei” to step in much later, but there’s only so much hippie-dippie tree-hugging that AI Sirei could let the kids get away with before he started cattle prodding them left and right X’D They still have to be a little careful around him though, they’re not out of the woods just yet... And yeah, the kids will talk more in-depth later about what each person wants to do, and their feelings about Futurum and the prospect of peace, they were all just a little fried from emotional information overload lol

[These rest of these notes are just my over-30 Millennial ass reminiscing about old-ass fanfic culture, feel free to skip if that doesn’t interest you XD]

So, I’m surprised I haven’t brought this up yet, but it was asked in the comments—for anyone who’s been on AO3 longer than me, you may have wondered why I didn’t just use the ‘Notes’ function, and generally just format things weirdly lol. The reason is I’m an old-ass fanfiction dot net transplant, and I only returned to writing fanfic last year after like, a decade of just no interest lol. (I tried going back to FF first, but their new user interface of having to upload a whole-ass document every time you want to edit a chapter is just not conducive to an “impulsively make little edits on my phone” person like myself, so I jumped ship over to AO3 XD) The Notes section on AO3 also squishes everything to this column in the center, and my long-ass post-chapter notes are just too long sometimes lol. Back in ye olden days (mid 2000s), any Author’s Notes or disclaimers, etc. were just baked into the chapter before and after the custom text borders lol—it also wasn’t uncommon for the post-chapter notes to basically become like a blog (even that term is outdated lol), and some authors I read even had like, skits? Like the characters were also fielding questions from the comments—2006 was a wild time lol. That’s when I was most active in fanfic, from high school to early college, then I just lost interest around like 2010 and focused on writing original work. According to the files on my computer, I started up another Squall/Seifer fic in 2014, but I didn’t bother to publish it lol. I still thought about my favorite ships and made gay fanart and whatnot, and read a fuck-ton of doujinshi where I could find it—I just couldn’t muster up the desire to put fingers to keyboard until a random unlikely ship pulled me back in last year 😂 (It was Hank/Connor from Detroit: Become Human, of all things lol. As a fellow gruff middle-aged man enjoyer, how could I not? 👍)

My old FF accounts were purged a long time ago, but if you’re curious what fandoms I wrote in—there was a lot of Final Fantasy VIII Seifer/Squall lol, unfortunately I relate to Squall on more levels than I’d like, as a gay and socially-avoidant goth XD There was also a little toxic Sephiroth/Cloud (btw, Takahiro Sakurai aka Eito’s Japanese VA also famously plays Cloud lol). I even tried something out-of-pocket—I’ve never liked Rinoa, just as a harpy of a character outside of her terrible/non-existent chemistry with Squall—so I thought if I paired her with Tifa from FFVII, I could tolerate her more XD Bit of a sporty edgy girl x spoiled rich girl moment—it didn’t work very well XD I also got really into Kingdom Hearts, I was the same age as Riku and Sora when KHII came out (and yes, Takumi did reference Chain of Memories lol). There was another supernatural fantasy series aimed at young people that I wrote for, which I’d rather not name because the author decided that she’d rather use her platform and immense wealth to burn her entire legacy to the ground actively harming a marginalized group of people who literally never did anything to her :’) I read in a lot more fandoms than I wrote in, so that’s pretty much it—well, if you don’t count the self-insert Demon Queen story I wrote when I was like 12 of me and Hiei from Yu Yu Hakusho, but it just stayed on our family computer, thank God—in fact I discovered downloading mp3s and gave our computer a virus which bricked it anyway lol, so it’s lost to time XD

The first fanfic I ever found was actually on accident lol, I was just typing “Kurama and Hiei” into Yahoo! or Ask Jeeves or whatever, and it brought me to somebody’s Angelfire fanworks page lol. Little Skeevy was like, “Well... I’m jealous, but intrigued 👀” My first BL was Sanami Matoh’s FAKE, which is a 90s gay crime drama lol—a friend of mine brought the first volume to school in 8^th grade for us all to pass around and read lol. I’m sure that explains a lot 😂 If you guys have any BL initiation stories, I’d love to hear them lol

Anyway, all that is to say—just when I think I’m out, it takes a pretty special game and a pretty special ship to pull me back in 😉🥰

Thanks for reading, y’all—see ya next time~

Chapter Text

Chapter 15 – It’s a Fair Question, Isn’t It?

“Takumi Sumino—come on dooown!”

The production lights were blinding, obscuring an unnaturally fervent crowd clapping madly, whistling and hollering in the black recesses of the studio—

I shielded my eyes, walking out onto the set towards the host desk, where Mr. Sirei sat grinning with a mug of coffee. He stood up and grabbed his cane, walking around the desk to shake my hand. One of his legs was completely stiff as he walked.

“Welcome, Sumino—we’re glad to have you.”

“Um—thanks.” I shook his hand in a daze. How did I get here? I don’t remember signing up to be on some kind of show...

Mr. Sirei eventually took his seat back behind the desk, and I found myself sinking into the uncomfortably stiff armchair next to him.

He sighed loudly like a middle-aged dad cracking open a beer after a hard day’s work. “So, Sumino—you recently landed the lead role in the highly-anticipated Last Defense Academy!” The crowd went wild. “I hear you’re even up for an award for your breakout performance!”

“... Is that a real question?”

There was mild laughter from the audience, and I turned towards the blackness of the studio—the stage lights were still blinding my eyes, I could see giant rigs with cameras and cables all over the floor, but no crew...

“Haha—you always were such a kidder, Sumino.” Mr. Sirei sipped his coffee, setting down his mug with a satisfied exhale. “Now—what makes you think a punk-ass kid like you can make peace between two warring races, when decades-long career soldiers and negotiators failed?”

“... What?”

He leaned over the desk on his elbow, like a true cheesy talk show host. “Well—it’s a fair question, isn’t it?”

“Why am I here?” I frantically peered all around the studio, the intense lights casting rings in my vision. “Is this just another bad dream?”

“Oh, it’s real, Sumino—same as it ever was.” He leaned towards me on the desk with interest. “Now, I’m sure your fans are all eager to know—what is it about that Eito Aotsuki fellow that you like so much?”

The crowd all went ‘oooh!’, some of them whistled.

I clasped my fingers tightly in my lap, feeling my whole body clam up. “I’m not answering that—why would you ask me something so personal?”

“Well, it’s a fair question, isn’t it?” Mr. Sirei grinned widely. “After all—he is crazy.”

“But—”

“Oh, I know, I know...” Mr. Sirei put his hands up, grinning out into the studio audience while they laughed along. “He magically started believing in the ‘heart of the cards’—why was that, anyway? Because he got some inside information from the future? Have you been able to verify this information yourself, Sumino?”

“I—”

“What about the hateful things he said to you on your first day back?” He nodded to an unseen crew member. “Roll the clip!”

My eyes went to a monitor, which started playing a view of the courtyard cage in first-person...

“Why should I go through all that effort just to be able to tolerate your loathsome presence? Humans are all the same—it’s always my fault, I should be expected to accommodate you—when you’re the ones who are all so disgusting...”

I remember that... That was when I convinced him to take my hand through the bars, when I saw his eyes widen when he knew something was different... Actually, that was just after he touched my cheek. He said that, but—he was just trying to save face. Obviously he didn’t feel that way anymore... He could tolerate my presence just fine. And he admitted to always secretly wanting to find a cure for his condition...

The monitor went black again. “Well, Sumino?”

“‘Well’, what?” I crossed my leg. “What’s that supposed to prove? Obviously the old Eito would say something like that...”

“The ‘old Eito’?” Mr. Sirei grinned, that dark shadow over his eyes just like the AI Sirei. “Well, let’s roll another one!”

The monitor displayed another memory—Eito calmly smiling up at me while sitting at the desk in his cage. That gentle disingenuous smile was still unnerving, even now...

“Takumi... What do you think I’m going to do the second I escape this cell? No boring answers now! I want you to really use your imagination...”

Seeing him like that again did send a chill down my spine... But, that just proved to me what a long way he’d come.

“And don’t forget this one, Sumino!”

“Aha... That’s not a very smart move, Takumi.” His fake smile, his eyes scrunched to crescents behind his glasses—I didn’t like seeing it again. I remember that... When I told Eito that I intended for him to go back to his own room, rather than be kept as a prisoner. Even though his smile still sometimes looked a bit disingenuous... he really only did it on purpose, to prove a point... “You’ll only get taken advantage of if you’re so trusting...”

Unpleasant goosebumps rippled over my arms.

Mr. Sirei turned to face me again. “So, what is it you’re doing now, Sumino?” He grinned widely. “Getting taken advantage of? Trusting someone who’s demonstrated to you how untrustworthy they are? He did try to warn you, to be fair!”

“Don’t talk like you know anything about me.”

Eito’s sharp voice startled me—another clip started playing, him flipping out on me from inside the cage, breathing heavy like he was on the verge of a panic attack—

“I don’t believe you for a second—you probably worked out some way to influence my mind, like the vile succubus you are... That’s what you look like to me—scraps of torn flesh hanging from a blackened skeleton, with these grotesque shredded wings, like you’ve been dipped in acid and sulfur for all eternity...! You’re disgusting... I’ll never be able to wash off the stink from your fetid hand...!”

I closed my eyes. “Of course I remember that—what’s the point of showing me? That was before...”

“‘Before’ what, exactly?”

“Before—” Well—before he started looking at himself differently. I think that’s what allowed him to start seeing me differently—or maybe it was the other way around. But that desperate need to protect himself by feeling superior was before his other self told him the truth—that he wasn’t some weird serial killer, and... Wait—then, what did he think he was? It’s hard for me to tell if his other self actually told him about our origins—that all of our memories are false, and we were created from scratch in a lab from Shion’s DNA. If he believed he killed his parents as a child—then what filled that gap instead? Did he just think he was taken away from his parents at a young age, and experimented on at Kamukura General Hospital since then? He seemed to have a void in his heart when he said he needed to find a new reason for being—but if he knew exactly what happened, you’d think that would just make him hate humanity even more, for literally treating us like lab rats.

“Well, Sumino?”

“Just be quiet—I’m trying to think.”

Mr. Sirei grinned. “Well—share your thoughts with us, Sumino! You have to answer my questions...” The stage lights all converged to a single point—“... Or else.”

I shielded my eyes from the intense glare—the heat from the lights was palpable, I couldn’t see out into the studio at all. The lights were all blaring down on me, like the deadlights from an alien spacecraft about to abduct me...

“Now—why are you so attached to a dangerous character like that? Because he has a pretty face, because you think he’s gentle when he’s washing dishes and doing laundry? Because you need to prove to yourself that you made the right decision by sparing his life? Are you just seeing what you want to see, and overestimating what’s really there?” What—“Are you sure you can really trust him, completely and irrevocably? Do you think he’ll ever be able to live a normal life, and tolerate being around the others like you want him to? Why did he look so sad when you suggested living together?” How did he—“Can you really see yourself spending your whole life with such an aggressively anti-social person? Why do you think he likes you so much in the first place? Because you’re nice to him despite knowing there’s something seriously wrong with him? Because he’s so desperately lonely he just latched onto you? Would you really call that ‘love’? It sounds more like ‘one-sided obsession’ to me, Sumino! Are you sure he’s not just trying to trick you again, or get something else out of you? There’s some things, that once you give them away, you can never get them back, you know...”

“—stop it! That’s none of your business! Why are you asking me questions like that?!”

Mr. Sirei grinned, a dark shadow under his intensely blue eyes. “Well—they’re all fair questions, aren’t they, Sumino?” Sweat was beading in my scalp from the intense lights—I could feel my face getting uncomfortably hot. “Why do you think Aotsuki attached himself to you so desperately, anyway? Because he’s ‘fascinated’ by you, because you’re ‘different’ from other humans? He can’t even see your expressions while you’re talking to him—how well do you think he really knows you? Does he know your values? Your dreams, your interests, your hobbies, your deepest desires? Do you think he actually gives two figs about fostering peace on this planet, or he’s just saying that because that’s what you want to hear? Is he doing it all just to please you, like some sycophantic worshipper at the feet of his God? That doesn’t sound like the basis for a very healthy relationship, Sumino!”

“Just stop... why are you asking me these things...”

“Well, it’s all important to your future, isn’t it, Sumino? Now—answer the question!”

“Stop...” I doubled over, hiding my face in my arms. I couldn’t stand the brightness and the heat from the studio lights anymore, the low murmur of the audience whenever Mr. Sirei asked his next scandalous question... I couldn’t take it. It was so invasive... “I don’t want to...”

“Too bad! You have to answer these questions—or else!”

“Just stop... please...”

◑ ● ◐

“Eito Aotsuki—come on dooown!”

Some manner of phantom audience cheered and clapped beyond a black void... haah. What kind of nonsense is this?

I stood at the edge of the “stage”, while a simulacrum of Sirei was standing on top of a large desk. It looked like a recreation of one of those late-night talk shows... “Thanks for coming on the show, Aotsuki—we’re all excited to hear about your breakout role as the stealth lead villain in Last Defense Academy!”

“There’s no point disguising yourself as Sirei—just get to the point, and save ourselves both some time.”

My other other self, Asshole Eito, just grinned through his Sirei skin. “Aww... And here I thought you’d gone soft after spending so much time rubbing elbows with simpletons.” His disguise melted away, and he was sitting arrogantly on the desk, one leg crossed over the other, swinging his foot as if he was bored already... “Some other people I could name weren’t so quick on the uptake.”

“If you’re bothering Takumi in his dream, then all I have to do is wake us both up...” I punched myself squarely across the face, my glasses went flying. Ah—how odd, I can still see perfectly well...

“Oh, dear—well, there’s no need to resort to violence.” Was I really this condescending... Well, I suppose I had the potential to be. I very rarely showed my cards in those “memories” of mine—the only person I had been this patronizingly nasty to was Takumi, unfortunately... “That won’t work, anyway—this isn’t a normal ‘dream’, you know. All sorts of unexplained phenomena are possible through hemoanima...” He rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

“Yes—I’m aware.” Since I wouldn’t be able to escape this plane easily anyway, I decided to just indulge him. This one was prone to emotional outbursts, so perhaps I’d glean something by him slipping up...

“Ah—take the second chair, please.” Asshole Eito gestured to the tacky navy blue armchair. “The first chair is reserved for our special guest.” Well, then—it’s safe to assume that anything I said here would be heard by Takumi. Perhaps he was waiting in the “green room” of this sham production... Or perhaps he was already here, but on his own plane where I couldn’t see him. I’m surprised my other self would be so sloppy—perhaps he just decided to do this impulsively and didn’t have adequate time to plan anything out. Rather embarrassing...

I sat in the armchair, crossing my leg out of habit. It was the most comfortable sitting position for me, even if it looked rather ridiculous that the two of us were mirroring each other... “I like to think of myself as the ‘deuteragonist’ at this point, rather than the ‘stealth lead villain’.” I gave my other self my best smile. “I am the most important person here after Takumi—wouldn’t you agree?”

He pushed up his glasses. “Is that so? I wonder what Takumi would think about that... If he knew what you were really up to?”

I sighed. “I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t make it sound so clandestine. I wouldn’t have been able to make any progress if it wasn’t for your insight, so I fail to see the point of trying to throw me under the bus now.” I looked him full in the face. “What I’m ‘up to’ benefits you as well as I—although, it’s mostly for Takumi’s benefit, in the end. Seeing as you’re ‘one’ with Takumi now, we both know that he’s not the self-destructive type—so I see little point having this debate with you.”

His face split in a disturbing grin—I’ve never even seen myself make that face in the mirror. It was like his whole face was a mask, with the corners of his mouth being pulled simultaneously. “Is that so? Then why haven’t you told him about it?”

I pushed up my glasses before I could stop myself. Oh—at some point, my glasses had reappeared on my face—it must be “dream logic”. “I imagine for much the same reason that Takumi has decided to hold off on informing me and the others of this ‘crushing truth’ he learned during his previous foray here.”

“But we both know that’s not the only reason...”

I wasn’t sure if Takumi could see and hear me or not—I tried to smile, but I’m sure to him it would only appear as a “sad smile”. “That is true. But—it’s something I’ve decided to bear myself.” I switched up and crossed my other leg. Moreso than a dream, I could feel my physical presence in this space—hemoanima had the potential to be quite dangerous if wielded incorrectly, indeed. “If Takumi would like to ask me about it, then I’ll tell him. I’ve already accepted the ramifications, after all.” I sighed. “I wish you wouldn’t paint it as such a cloak-and-dagger affair, though...”

My other other self just stared at me silently. For all his blustering, even he didn’t have the guts to just blurt out what I’ve been doing in front of Takumi—or maybe he didn’t actually know, he might’ve been just speculating and hoping I’d out myself. He must really think quite little of me...

“Are we done here?”

The “audience” started booing, a rather raucous noise echoing off the studio walls...

“Oh, dear—it sounds like the people want more!” He produced some cue cards from thin air. “I had these questions prepared for you, you see—I think it’s high time we gave the people what they want, don’t you?”

The audience cheered, applauding obnoxiously like monkeys...

“Haah... I suppose I have no choice.”

“I’m so happy you understand! It’s refreshing to have such a cooperative guest.” Asshole Eito’s eyes were shining. “Now—do you actually care one iota about the irredeemable humans making peace with the fanatical Futurans, or are you just going along with it because Takumi told you to?”

I sighed. “That’s quite a silly question—even if it’s both, does that really undermine the effort I’m putting forth to make it happen?” I crossed my other leg before it started going numb. “Allow me to ask my own hypothetical—if a politician donates food and the means to build a well for clean drinking water to an impoverished village—does it matter if they’re doing it to look good before a reelection, or if they want to help those people out of the goodness of their heart?” I pushed up my glasses. “Isn’t the important part that the starving people have food and water?”

His unnerving smile persisted, his eyes crushed into silly curves. “Next question! What do you actually like about Takumi—other than the fact that he’s the only person who’s ever shown you unconditional kindness, which your lonely self desperately craves?”

I sighed again. “What a loaded question—is that why you liked Takumi in your timeline?” I could feel my brows slope. “What a sad reason... I have plenty of others, if you’d like to hear them—but I imagine that would only make you seethe with jealousy even more...”

His jaw moved barely perceptibly, as he forced himself to not grind his teeth together... “It’s a fair question, wouldn’t you agree?” He chucked the cue card back over his shoulder... I don’t know at which point he became such a horrible actor—it was probably Takumi’s honest sincerity rubbing off on him... “Do you honestly believe that Takumi likes anything about you? Don’t just throw out guesses, now!” His jaw clenched in a tight smile. “And ‘desperately wanting to believe in the improbable goodness of your heart as a means to justify foolishly sparing your life to himself’ isn’t a reason!”

“... I don’t even want to dignify that with a response.” I folded my arms calmly. “These questions are all rather self-revealing... I truly do pity you.” He must have been able to parse the naked truth of that statement through my expression, and his eyes widened just a bit in frozen shock. “What exactly is your angle here? ‘If I can’t have Takumi, no one can’?” I clasped my hands around my knee. “Is that why you’re seemingly so intent on sabotaging me? I suppose I was just giving you too much credit to think that your heart had been swayed by Takumi doing his best for this Shion’s sake...”

“Why should I care what happens to that pathetic little baby?” That grin splitting his face in two was certainly grotesque. “Someone who’s too helpless to do anything but use their own life as a bargaining chip isn’t worth—” He suddenly clammed up.

“Aha... What were you about to say? ‘Isn’t worth Takumi’s attention’?” I couldn’t help but push up my glasses. “You really are pathetic...”

“I’m pathetic? You—”

As if on cue, a swirling ball of flame appeared... I still couldn’t see anyone inside it. “There you are—I’d ask that you kindly leave Takumi alone, and I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t drag this Eito into your nonsense, either.”

“Ha—you have no right to make demands of me.” Asshole Eito smirked cruelly. “Why don’t you do something about it, if you’re really not so helpless?”

“My hemoanima is much stronger than yours—in truth, I could probably easily expunge you off to bloodspace.” I saw just a flicker of a flinch creep across Asshole Eito’s face. “But that would just make Takumi sad... I’d prefer not to have to resort to that. But if you keep acting up like this...”

“Aha... Go ahead.” The other Eito kept grinning, but I could see in the microscopic change in his expression, something that I felt on my own face not that long ago—sad resignation. “I’d welcome being banished from having to endure all of your hypocritical pacifism.” His sharp eyes turned on me next. “And you... It’s disgusting seeing what another me has become... nothing but a drooling lapdog, begging for scraps from ‘Master’...”

I smiled. “Well, it is quite enjoyable for me, I must say—I don’t find it particularly humiliating, haha... Or, rather—I suppose it would be more accurate to say that I find that amount of humiliation somehow appealing, when it comes to Takumi, haha...”

His look of disgust was genuine. “Allow me to save you the trouble, then—I’ll banish myself to being recycled in bloodspace—anything is better than suffering one more second with any of you.”

“Careful, Shion—he isn’t just bluffing.” I sighed. “This one doesn’t know what to do with such an intense love-hate—he’d rather dissolve himself so he doesn’t have to confront such feelings. It’s rather sad, indeed...”

I was getting better at parsing how Shion was feeling by the specific way his flames flickered. “I see...” Even without that, it was evident by his tone of voice...

For once, Asshole Eito looked completely at peace with himself. “You think it’s ‘sad’, do you?” With a clean swipe, he slit his own throat and disappeared in a cloud of blood.

“Ah—don’t worry about that, he isn’t actually gone—I suppose he just wanted to make a dramatic exit.” Shion’s flames flickered again. “Um... I apologize if he gave you a hard time... Takumi had a rather upsetting dream as well, so...”

I smiled. “Well, I won’t wake him up if he’s sleeping soundly now—but I’ll do what I can. Is Takumi here with us?”

“No... Takumi can’t navigate bloodspace while his hemoanima still resides within his physical body. We can only visit your respective dreams, sometimes...”

“Ah—that make sense.” Haah... so this whole charade really was pointless. I really should have known better—I could have been much more pointed with my other self. Ah—perhaps he anticipated that as well, and I was the one who underestimated him this time... “Well, at any rate—you can leave Takumi to me now. Thank you for your hard work.” I haven’t said that to anyone and meant it sincerely in my entire life.

I could see the relief in the way Shion’s flames flickered. “Thank you... You really are kind.” “Kind”? I can honestly say I’ve never been called that in my entire life, either... “I wish I could spend more time talking with you like this, but it is a strain on Takumi’s hemoanima for us to ‘separate’—I try to only manifest myself if it’s an emergency...”

“I see... Well, let’s hope that one was embarrassed enough for being called out so spectacularly in quick succession to not appear again.” I couldn’t bring myself to care either way whether he absorbed himself into bloodspace—but that probably would actually make Takumi sad, so I suppose I’ll just have to wait for his presence to fade away on its own naturally... Haah. It’s really embarrassing to see how I could have turned out under different circumstances—it feels like the only difference between him and me is my other self. “Oh—where is he, by the way? The me with the dark glasses...”

“Well... We can’t be in two places at once, so I’d like to believe he stayed behind to comfort Takumi...” His flames flickered sadly. “... But it’s more likely that he’s intent on keeping his word to not appear again.”

“I see...” How sad... He was quite mature in that way, I don’t know if I’d be able to resist checking in on Takumi over every little thing, even driven by genuine concern rather than jealousy... “Then... Is it possible for you to give him a message for me?”

Shion’s flames flickered rapidly—he must be smiling. “If it’s a kind word or gratitude—you should give that to Takumi, instead. After all—we are all one now.”

I realized I pushed up my glasses in that exact same spot that the other me left that gold paint smudge. “I suppose that is true...”

◑ ● ◐

I found myself standing outside Takumi’s door, the bracing night wind rushing past me. This was a real Schrödinger’s Cat scenario—either he’s still sleeping, whether troubled or peacefully—or he’s awake, whether troubled or peacefully. If he’s still sleeping, I’d rather not wake him up and leave him exhausted for tomorrow’s important peace talks, even if I am able to provide a modicum of comfort in the short-term. But... I don’t know which scenario Takumi would prefer, honestly... The only thing I can do is knock. I just have to open the box, to see if the cat is alive or dead...

I gently knocked on the door. “Takumi?” I waited.

Despite myself, a small voice in my heart managed to squeak out, “Please, be awake.”

I gently knocked, one more time. “Takumi?” I pressed my ear to the door... Nothing.

My hands slid back into my pockets to escape the frigid night air. Well, then... This particular timeline has branched in this direction. Somewhere out there is another me who caught Takumi while he was awake—or decided it was worth it to knock one more time, but louder. Perhaps that Eito was able to comfort a Takumi who was troubled by his invasive dream, perhaps that Takumi felt that the welcome distraction was worth it—perhaps that Eito was glad to have been of help, and grateful that he took a gamble which paid off. But that Eito is not me... Perhaps that is a me whom Takumi can forgive someday, perhaps that is a me who never did anything necessitating Takumi’s forgiveness at all... Perhaps that other me is a me whom Takumi and the others can someday live a peaceful life with. I’ve now closed myself off from being that “me” forever, so there’s little point in speculating.

◑ ● ◐

I stood before the flickering heat of the wall of flame, holding the fire extinguisher.

The words of that cold knight were still fresh in my mind... “If you really want to cure your ‘cognitive disorder’, you’ll have to do the dirty work yourself—this will be too messy for a bleeding heart like Takumi. Hmph—knowing how he is, though—I wouldn’t expect to be forgiven if what you’re doing ever comes to light.”

Yes, well... I didn’t need her to tell me that.

I sprayed a small hole into the flames, stepping through to the barren wasteland beyond.

◑ ● ◐

◑ ● ◐

◑ ● ◐

D’X

So, with this and the new ending of Chapter 14, I wanted to draw a comparison to Final Fantasy X—if you’ve never played it, the basic premise is that the main character Tidus is thrust into a world that is under constant threat by an eldritch sea monster, and everyone in the world lives in fear of it, since it kills indiscriminately and can decimate entire towns. The dominant religion in the world, Yevon, teaches that this entity—literally called “Sin”—is a divine punishment for humanity forsaking the religious teachings, and allowing their technology to advance too far, to the point of waging war with weapons of mass destruction. Yevon touts that the only way for Sin to truly disappear is to vaguely “atone” for their past transgressions—although there is a temporary measure of defeating Sin. Summoners who are capable of calling on Aeons—divine creatures born of the spiritual power of saints who sacrificed their living souls—are the only ones capable of defeating Sin. Tidus decides to throw his weight behind protecting the young Summoner Yuna (who is arguably the real main character) on her pilgrimage to obtain all of the Aeons, by praying to the saints at each of their Temples. He goes with them at first because he’s stranded in this unfamiliar world, possibly 1,000 years into the future, with no hope of going back anyway—but also because he comes around to believing it’s the right thing to do. Although initially, he’s unaware that Yuna’s pilgrimage will ultimately end in her death, as she has to sacrifice her life for the Final Aeon, which is the only power capable of actually defeating Sin. He just vows to protect her along the way, naïvely suggesting all the things they can do together “after she defeats Sin.”

Anyway—there’s a very sad scene, immediately after the party escapes from being arrested as heretics. Unsurprisingly, the religion which touts itself as the only way to salvation is corrupt to its very core, and is in fact responsible for birthing Sin in the first place. The party learns of Yevon’s corruption and role in continuing the cycle of death and fear through Sin first-hand, and Yuna’s faith is shaken. She was fully prepared to sacrifice her life to defeat Sin, even temporarily—“Even if it’s only for a little while, people deserve to be able to sleep in their beds without being afraid.” She goes to an isolated lake in the forest to contemplate on all that she’s been through, and where to go from here—she doesn’t want to abandon the people or give up on ridding the world of Sin, but she feels like her pilgrimage has all been for nothing, and she feels guilty for dragging her friends and loved ones along with her, being used by the very faith that she believed in her whole life. Tidus joins her, but he’s unsure how to broach the subject and feels that he’s out of his depth (he’s spent most of the game being an immature sports celebrity who’s not so good at the serious conversations lol)—he feels ashamed for blindly encouraging her on her pilgrimage, blissfully unaware that he was cheerfully marching her towards her own death, and he apologizes. She forgives him and doesn’t blame him for that, though—she even says his optimism and encouragement kept her going at times. “I wasn’t sad—I was happy.”

Tidus is at a loss—during their pilgrimage he’s fallen for her, and while he admires her strong conviction and he also wants to see Sin destroyed for good—he also can’t just stand by and watch her sacrifice herself. So he tries to encourage her to just quit her pilgrimage and live a normal life—he says that when he’s “able to go back home” (which he’s fully aware is practically impossible at this point), he can show her his hometown in a world without Sin—the bright city all lit up even at night, the stands full of cheering fans at the stadium, staying out until morning and watching the sea glow with the sunrise. Yuna plays along at first, echoing an earlier sentiment she made that she really wants to see his hometown—but while Tidus is swimming around going on and on about how sweet their new life would be, he hears her soft wavering voice behind him, “I’d like to see it... someday.” When he turns around, she’s just standing chest-deep in the water, squeezing her palms and quietly crying to herself—then she manages to choke out, “I can’t... I just can’t...! I can’t go!”

It’s a sad scene—depending on who you ask, it's either enhanced or undercut by the FMV that follows, which some dismiss as a cheesy romantic montage (he kisses her while she’s crying, and that’s the first time in her life that she’s able to let go and just enjoy the present moment, and allow herself to feel like a normal girl. It is a little cheesy, but like, I get it). But the song which plays over the scene, “素敵だね / Suteki da Ne (Wouldn’t It Be Beautiful?)” is still poignantly tragic—“Wouldn’t it be beautiful?/If the two of us could walk hand in hand/To your city, your home, in your arms.../I want to go...” It’s just not possible... and they both know that.

So... That’s what I had in the back of my mind when Eito told Takumi that living together with everyone “Sounds lovely...” D’X

Hoo boy—these post-chapter wrap-ups are still too long to cram in that tiny ‘Notes’ section XD Anyway lol—let’s talk about something more light-hearted. There were two silly references in this chapter—Mr. Sirei/A-hole Eito said, “You were always such a kidder, Sumino,” which is the thing the gaslighting townsfolk of Harvest keep saying to Steve in the 90s cult point-and-click horror adventure game Harvester (there’s a great Majuular video about it on YouTube). And the lines “How did I get here?” And “Same as it ever was” are from the Talking Heads song “Once in a Lifetime”. Lol I think I was vaguely aware of that song before this, but I have a cute memory of our Dad watching The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy with us girls, and he started laughing when Grim was having an idyllic dream and was suddenly all, “Wait a second—this is not me beautiful house, this is not me beautiful wife!” And then abruptly waking up to Billy going, “Same as it ever was, same as it ever was!” We were like, “lol what does that mean?” And he played the song for us on the computer, good memories ^_^ Same thing happened when we were all watching the Major Tom cold open in the “Ghosts of the Sargasso” episode of The Venture Bros., having our Dad play “Space Oddity” and a bunch of Bowie songs for us reignited my love for him as an artist ^_^

Okay, so—I finally sat down to watch one of my favorite content creators play LDA, and this was his immediate reaction upon laying eyes on Eito XD (You can tell this was recorded a while ago, since that number is now over 300 lol) The closed captioning didn’t understand the word “yaoi”, tragically, so I made my own lol

Clocked immediately XD He also figured he was evil right off the bat cuz anime tropes lol. (He also thought Takemaru was the coolest dude ever full-stop, fell in love with Dommy Mommy Hiruko at first sight because of her “step on me” energy, wanted to adopt Clown Girl-adjacent Darumi—and he called Gaku “Millhouse” X’D) I try to be a little cautious about which content creators I recommend (I got burned by fucking James S*mert*n D’X), but Super/Regular Eyepatch Wolf is a real one, he’s just a nerdy Irish guy with a dry sense of humor who likes talking about anime lol, and by all accounts he’s a sweet down-to-earth dude :) Also, he’s one of us as an open bisexual 👍 Majuular’s a pretty chill Canadian dude too, as far as I can tell—he makes a lot of niche videos about weird old games that I enjoy lol. Also Dungeon Chill, they have a lot of crossover in the types of games they cover 👍

So, to segue—last chapter I talked about my long hiatus from writing fanfic, and focusing instead on original works—well, one of the reasons I came back to it was just recontextualizing my relationship with art :) I’m sure a lot of you can relate to this, unfortunately—with the state of the economy in my country getting more fucked by the day, it’s easy to get sucked into this “rise and grind” mindset of trying to maximize your time spent vs. money earned ratio, and not wanting to do shit for free, or if it’s not contributing to potential career growth. (I promise I have a point with this lol) At that time, I decided I didn’t want to waste my “A material” on fanfic (even though I enjoyed it) and just dedicated all my time to writing original projects, i.e. something that could be published one day. But eventually I had this moment of clarity when I realized that life is too short, and for the sake of my own happiness, I just had to create what I wanted for the joy of creating, with disregard to whether it would lead to money or acclaim :) There’s a quote from a Super Eyepatch Wolf video essay which helped hammer this point home for me, which I’d like to share with you all (copied from my other work “Mandala”, where I also talked about this):

Towards the end of his video “Influencer Courses are Garbage: The Dark Side of Content Creation”, he pivots to talk about himself as a YouTuber, and how mentally-taxing it is to constantly be obsessing over the numbers, wanting your shit to be seen by as many people as possible, and having your literal livelihood riding on clicks and views and being advertiser-friendly. Then he mentions how he’s been watching “Blue Period”, about the joy of just making art that you like, and that you feel is an honest expression of yourself. He ends the video with, “Your art doesn’t have value because of what other people think of it. It matters, because of how it makes you feel. [...] Even if it doesn’t work out, you still spent time making something you love, and that will never be a waste. [...] There is nothing wrong with you if other people don’t pay attention to your art. That art is for you. That is enough, I promise.”

Anyway—I just hope that helps anyone out there who might feel frustrated with their current career, motivation, or skill level—especially as the landscape of art in all forms is threatened by the horrid rampantness of AI—there is always value in creating and self-expression in and of itself, and just getting out something that’s inside :) Like Eito was saying about his creepy poem lol—it’s about getting it all out, you can burn it or bury it in the courtyard after that if you want to!

All that is to say, that I’m really happy I got back into writing after a bit of a (years-long) slump, and it’s been more fun writing fanfic now than it even was when I was younger ^_^ This game and these dorks just rubbed me the right way, what can I say lol. I know I say this every time, but seriously—thank you for reading 😭 It’s really awesome to have that connection with folks who all love the same weird niche gay thing lol—that’s something that stupid AI can never replace 😉👍 hehe~

See ya next time~ 💖

Chapter Text

Chapter 16 – Operation: Sappy Sucker

百

Day 17

百

I felt the faintest movement near my eyes, as if my fringe was being touched...

“That arrogant other self of mine thinks he has it all figured out...” It felt so hesitant, like they were afraid of actually touching me... “When he’s so low on emotional intelligence, he can’t even fathom why I would ask these questions in the first place...” Oh... that must be Eito talking. “But you won’t disappoint me, now—will you, Takumi?” Huh? Why does he sound like he’s mad...

My eyes cracked open, adjusting to the dim blue of the early morning... No one was there.

百

“Takumi... You look terrible, my guy!”

I picked up another hunk of rice drowning in soy sauce and sesame oil. “I’m aware... thanks.”

“Darumi! You don’t have to say it like that...” Tsubasa sighed in frustration across the table. “I’m sure a lot of us weren’t able to sleep very well last night...”

“Ooh, ooh—what if Takumi’s eepy brain screws it all up with those fancy bigwigs?!” Why did she sound so excited... “That’s always how it goes in killing games—they set you up with a liiittle glimmer of hope before smacking you down with the despair hammer! Kyohoho—what if they chop off your head for your impertinence, and display it on a pike at their fortress as a warning to the rest of us?!”

“If that actually happens, the Revive-O-Matic will just rebuild my head...”

“Not if you’re outside the wall of fire!” Oh... “Like, wow—you really are tired if you didn’t even think of that! What kind of ahoge protag are you?!”

Eito had been quiet so far, but he finally spoke up. “I understand exercising caution by not letting them into the school perimeter. However, you stand more to lose by meeting them outside the wall of fire.” He pushed up his glasses, looking down at me sideways. “We still don’t want to show them which method we use to quickly get in and out through the wall—but, you may want to consider inviting them within the Revive-O-Matic’s range, should something go awry.” He was talking in a more even tone, almost like First Eito when he was still faking it... “If they’re trapped within the wall, it will limit their options if they plan on taking you hostage or attacking you. We may even discover some method of theirs for getting through, if they attempt to flee.”

I balanced another clump of rice in my chopsticks. “I thought that’s what you’ll be on standby for?”

“Aha...” His odd laugh returned—it didn’t sound right with the serious air around him. “Well, of course I’ll be watching closely—but if two Commanders decide to transform while your guard is down, even Kyoshika and I would have a difficult time dealing with them.” He had a somewhat-sad smile. “And that move you pulled to dispatch Pakron isn’t exactly repeatable—you’d only get one shot before it burns you alive from the inside.”

“... I don’t plan on doing that again, unless it’s an emergency.” The way Pakron was burned all over, the smell...

“We don’t know for sure that the second person is going to be a Commander—they might be a political representative, or the leader of an underground militia.” Yugamu finally spoke up. “If you believe the person who wrote that missive is Murvrum, he may just be serving as their escort. He wouldn’t want to pick a fight while also worrying about a figurehead’s safety, especially if they’re a non-combatant.”

“Hmm... We never met any political leaders, aside from V’ehxness herself—I never really got a grasp on the ‘politics’ of Futuran society.” I set down my chopsticks. “I think that ‘those chosen by the planet’ are deemed the most important—that might just extend to every aspect of their culture.” That was probably what Eito was getting at when he said they were “ruled by religious dogma”...

Eito pushed up his glasses. “Takumi... What if the Futurans agree to share the planet, but only if all of humanity prostrates themselves before their God?”

My heavy eyelids slid closed... “I don’t know...” I felt like my brain was barely running on 5% battery in power-saving mode. “... If it means survival, then I think humanity can stand to prostrate themselves before a God they don’t believe in. We’re asking the Futuran survivors to do something far more humiliating...”

I took a sip of my lukewarm green tea, the rest of the table dominated by an uncomfortable silence no one was willing to break.

“... Takumi?” Nozomi’s gentle voice cut through the heavy atmosphere. “I know it’s worth considering what to do in the worst-case scenario...” Her small smile melted away some of the fog clouding my brain... “But... I think if you approach them with an open heart, the people who want peace will listen.” She held her hand over her heart, her eyes closed in reverent contemplation. “I know you can do it... Just be sincere, even if you think that what you’re asking for sounds impossible. If everyone is willing to work together, and believes in that bright future with their whole hearts... it won’t be impossible. It all starts with a single step...”

That was almost exactly what I said to her before I had to leave her behind... “Thanks, Nozomi... That means a lot.”

She smiled from across the table. “I mean it, you know—humans have the power to end the wars they started. It’s never too late...” It almost feels like... Maybe in some way, I was able to bring the will of her other self back with me. It all started with a single step... For her, and now for me.

百

Maybe I should set an alarm and try to get a nap in... I’m just going to be useless like this. Even despite Nozomi’s best efforts, breakfast was still so tense... I probably didn’t inspire much confidence in the others with how obviously stressed and exhausted I was. It should’ve been amazing news, that elated disbelief I felt when Shion showed me that arrow... I just need to get my head in the game, and stop obsessing over all the things that could possibly go wrong. 

I had to focus on the positives—I had gotten through to someone, I honestly didn’t believe that Murvrum would be leading us into a trap, or trying to lull us into a false sense of security. That’s not the aura I felt from him when we spoke on the battlefield... and I doubt that an honorable man like Dahl’xia would raise a sniveling back-stabber as a son. I need to take Nozomi’s words to heart, and approach them with my honest convictions... They’ll be able to see that I’m serious. I just hope it’s enough to turn the tides of this war that’s been raging for decades... No, no—it has to be. No one wants to fight... people just want to live in peace. I have to believe that—both for me, and for the Nozomi who’s trying so hard on her own in the future...

I turned on the faucet, letting the water warm up. I just want to be able to talk to everyone first, to get a feel for where they’re at without the pressure of group mentality. I want to hear everyone’s honest thoughts... Even if I’m not going to change my ultimate goal of fostering peace, there may be some nuance or other angles I haven’t considered—everyone comes from different walks of life, it’s worth hearing all their takes before moving forward.

I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror, the grey bags under my eyes mocking me... I can’t believe First Eito really couldn’t resist fucking with me the night before something so important. I wanted to be mad—it sucks that I feel so sleep-deprived and my brain is so foggy and my eyes are so heavy... but... at the same time...

“Do you think he actually gives two figs about fostering peace on this planet, or he’s just saying that because that’s what you want to hear? Is he doing it all just to please you, like some sycophantic worshipper at the feet of his God?”

Haah... He really was troublesome. I get it—I know those are important things to consider, I know I’ve been letting myself get swept up in emotions and putting the unpleasant implications aside, running away from inconvenient truths... But was now really the time? It was like he just had to pipe up and get the attention back on himself somehow... haah.

I leaned down into the sink, splashing the warm water on my face. I thought First Eito couldn’t even get that close to me under his own power... I guess something changed.

百

It would probably be best to go to Eito’s room last... At this point, I think I just need to tell him everything so he can make an informed decision. I just wish I had more time, so we could have a proper discussion and he could absorb it all at his own pace... But he’s probably been able to figure out like 90% of everything anyway. If I’m lucky he’s already passed the “existential crisis” phase and moved on to “numb acceptance”... what a grim thought, I really am tired...

I knocked on his door. I didn’t hear anything right away, but eventually there was movement inside. “Is that you, Takumi?”

“Yeah—I need to talk to you really quick before I go on my rounds.”

He opened the door, his brows sloped just slightly. “Is everything all right?”

“Yeah...” I closed the door behind me, and just let my tired self collapse into him. I didn’t even bother to lift my arms, I just kinda stood there sloped against him. “Well—no, but I just have to deal with one thing at a time...” He put his arms around me.

“I understand...” He pat my back. It was oddly comforting, even though I felt a bit childish like that... Maybe I could stand to stay a little longer and “recharge”, like he said he was doing while we watched everyone play volleyball... “Well, I’m here to listen—and optionally to give advice. Haha... Apparently, it’s not uncommon for people to sometimes want to ‘vent’, not necessarily seeking any kind of feedback...”

“Geez...” He sounded like an alien observing human behavior... I guess that wasn’t that far off, to be fair. “Well...” I honestly don’t even know where to start... “Haah... Can I sit down for a sec?”

“Of course.” His arms slipped away. “Would you like some tea?”

“I don’t want to stay too long, I still have to talk to everyone else...” I sat on the edge of the neatly-made bed. “Well... Maybe I’ll have some tea. I’ll take that yuzu white tea if you have it... thank you.” I felt the stretch in my back as I let myself lay back on the mattress, my legs still dangling off the edge. That felt nice... His bedding smells really clean...

I heard water being poured into the electric kettle. “If you’re staying for tea, can I interest you in a back rub?”

“Pft...” I actually laughed. What an out-of-pocket suggestion... at least it wasn’t “torture”. “I’ll never leave if you do that...” I let myself breathe easily through my nose. “... Maybe I’ll take a rain check.”

“Just let me know, Takumi—and don’t be shy! I’ve been brushing up on the anatomy textbooks in the library, so I know just where all the major muscle groups are!” Geez... it almost sounded like he was taking the piss out of his own limited social skills... at least he was comfortable enough to joke about it, I guess.

I listened to the bubbling sound of the electric kettle heating the water.

“... I couldn’t sleep very well last night because I had a bad dream.” I clasped my hands over my stomach, feeling my diaphragm rise and fall with each breath. “Well, it wasn’t a dream—First Eito decided it’d be a great time to bother me, and ask me all these pointed questions...”

“... I see. I’m sorry about that, Takumi.”

I was looking up at the ceiling, my vision blurring slightly. “It’s not like it’s your fault... It felt pretty awful being put on the spot like that while it was happening, but... Now that it’s behind me, it’s not like the stuff he brought up was completely out of left field... it did give me a lot to think about.” I let my eyes close again. “I just wanted you to know. I have to focus on meeting with the Futurans right now, I can’t afford to let anything else distract me... but I feel like I have to sit down and talk with you soon. When all this is over... I just don’t want to blindside you.”

“I understand, Takumi.” I heard a light ‘clink’ as he set down two mugs. “I appreciate your candidness... Truth be told, I was also bothered in my sleep last night, and assailed with some rather pointed questions.”

“Haah... Great. Sorry... I guess I’m not surprised, though...” First Eito probably went and asked him the same exact same stuff, but even more pointed.

“Haha... I suppose there are a few things I’ve been quietly ignoring up until now, and just hoping they work out for themselves... But, better to get these things out in the open than letting them fester!”

“I guess...” I just focused on my breathing, feeling my stomach rise under my hands. “Or else”... I guess I finally understood what First Eito meant. I had to face those questions and answer them, “or else” the uneasiness will just get worse, things will only get more messy in the long run... “Or else” I’ll find out the hard way that anything beyond the scope of my promise is just impossible. 

“Don’t worry, Takumi—right now, my focus is on supporting you during your peace talks, and being ready to engage in combat if necessary.” I heard the tea echoing inside of the mug as it was being poured. “But I’ll be mentally prepared for when you do want to talk. So, you can just focus all your attention on the task at hand.”

“... thanks for understanding. I guess that’s all I wanted to say... I just didn’t want to ambush you with this heavy conversation later...” 

“Well, that’s very considerate of you.” He poured the next mug. “Now that you’ve told me, you can just focus on what you have to do.”

I realized I was subconsciously smoothing down my bangs... Now that I think about it, after that awkward handshake in my room, First Eito never tried to touch me at all, not even a friendly clap on the back. He always kept his distance... Even as an incorporeal spirit, it almost felt like his fingers were shaking when he just barely touched my hair. I wonder if he felt like he shouldn’t, or if he was afraid to... who knows. First Eito was basically a walking contradiction...

“I’m sorry that First Eito bothered you, too...” I let my arm relax on the bed. “But I guess... I can’t really be mad that he asked me those questions.”

“Oh? Why is that, Takumi?” His tone was a little odd—he almost sounded annoyed, like he wasn’t willing to give his other self the benefit of the doubt at all.

“Well... They were all fair questions, at the end of the day...” I rested my hands on my stomach with a long exhale. “I don’t know what your dream was like, but mine was really stressful... For some reason, he disguised himself as Mr. Sirei and made it look like I was being dragged onto this talk show, with the lights blaring down on me and this stupid studio audience...” I licked my lips out of habit. “But... He was just asking stuff I should’ve been asking myself this whole time—things I’ve been putting aside or saying ‘it’ll all work out’ to, like you said... but I can’t just keep doing that. I guess... he probably asked you the same stuff, too—so you know what I mean.” I realized I had crossed my arms tightly over myself. “Haah... He just can’t help but mess with me and make it this big, theatrical production. But... I think in his own way, he was just trying to help me...” I fingered the end of my fringe that was sticking out. “... he kept saying, ‘You have to answer these questions, or else’... I don’t think there was actually a threat, it was more like, ‘You need to consider these things before it’s too late, before it all blows up in your face’...”

Eito didn’t say anything.

I opened my eyes, and he was standing next to the electric kettle, staring down at nothing. “... I see.” Then he sighed. “Haah... Well, don’t I feel foolish.” He finally looked my way, his brows sloped behind his glasses. “First Eito really did get the better of me... And here I thought he was just jealously trying to drive a wedge between us... Haha, I suppose that says more about me than him, that I wasn’t able to intuit that he was just trying to help you, in his own twisted way...”

I was kind of surprised to hear him say that... I thought “low on emotional intelligence” was a little harsh, but... That might actually be the most accurate way to put it. This Eito was more willing to express his emotions, at least—it’s hard to say whether First or even Second Eito was this emotional too, they were too busy suppressing and obfuscating it. But it was obvious Eito just didn’t know how to consider others’ emotions very well. Not even mine... He was constantly apologizing for saying the wrong thing or inadvertently hurting my feelings—I didn’t blame him for that, social skills were a learned skill just like any other. The same goes for “emotional intelligence”, I suppose—at least it was obvious this Eito didn’t lack empathy like a textbook sociopath. Well... by that token, First Eito actually didn’t, either... It’s just a shame that it took being dead for him to finally let go of some of his pride and show that he cared, even if it was in the most roundabout, dickish way possible. Haah...

“... I wouldn’t beat yourself up over that.” I settled my shoulders to get a little more comfortable. “It’s all just a learning experience—social skills are a learned skill just like any other, it’s not like anyone’s born knowing how to navigate social situations...”

Eito rubbed his chin. “Hmm... I’ve never thought of it that way.” He smiled gently. “Well—I used to treat ‘social networking’ purely as a game, but—‘Social skills are a learned skill just like any other’... I suppose that helps me feel a little better about it, haha... After all, it’s a skill I’ve never tried to develop in earnest before now! It’s not as if I can expect to have flawless execution right out the gate.”

I snickered lightly. “Apparently that’s called ‘former gifted child syndrome’... Giving up on something because you’re not immediately good at it.” I rolled my eyes. “I’ve heard people say that being labeled ‘gifted’ as a kid is a direct pipeline to a lifetime of burnout and insecurities as an adult... I don’t know if you think there’s any credence to that.”

“Oh, dear... Well, hopefully that’s something I can avoid now that I’ve become aware of it, haha...” Geez... He just laughed it off with that silly old lady way of talking, readily addressing his personality shortcomings—it was easy to forget sometimes that this was the same guy who went to such lengths to manipulate us all, who was frighteningly conniving and methodical when he wanted to be.

I opened my eyes. “Eito... Can you do me a favor?”

He set the mug on the nightstand nearest to me. “Of course, Takumi.”

“... I guess I probably don’t need to tell you this—but it’ll help me a lot if you ‘lock in’ when you go with us.” I sat up, feeling the crunch in my core. “... I’ll feel more confident knowing that terrifyingly competent Eito is on my side this time.”

“Hahaha! Well, of course, Takumi!” He smiled brightly. “Don’t worry—if I get the faintest indication that those emissaries intend to double-cross you, I’ll show no mercy!”

“Geez... I guess that’s fair enough.” I let the hot mug warm my palms. “I’m choosing to approach them in good faith... At the very least, I can confidently say that Murvrum is opposed to how V’ehxness runs things. The more sympathetic Futurans probably didn’t think reconciliation was possible until we came along—I hope even the more stubborn holdouts will see that the humiliation of accepting an olive branch is better than losing their planet...” I blew across my hot tea. “If it is Murvrum coming to meet us, he probably doesn’t want to fight any more than we do—remember, he didn’t even know we could understand his language, and he still tried telling us to ‘stand aside’ before he engaged us in combat...”

Eito sat down next to me with his tea. “That may be because he knew he didn’t stand a chance, and was hoping you would show mercy, Takumi... I’m sorry to be cynical, but it’s worth examining the situation from every angle.” He held his mug flat in his palm. “There is a lot at stake, like you said.”

I kept blowing across my tea, the steam curling away from my nose. “... I guess you’re right.”

We sat there in silence for a bit.

Eito let his mug rest in his lap. “Takumi... There is something important I need to tell you before we go into this peace talk.”

“... What is it?”

He smiled at me, but he still looked so tired. “First Eito did ask me a rather pertinent pointed question—do I actually care about bringing peace to the planet, or am I just going along with it because you told me to? Because that’s what you want, and I’ll do anything to make you happy, like a drooling lapdog?”

“Haah... He really said that?”

He laughed. “Yes—and so much more!”

“Ugh...”

“Hm...” His laughter died down. “Well—it’s a fair question, as you’ve said. As annoyingly hypocritical as it was to be interrogated by the likes of him...” He quietly sipped his tea. “Well... Do you know what my answer was?”

I considered fudging my answer a bit to make him feel better, but... Honestly... “If I had to guess... You probably said that it doesn’t matter if you personally care about either side—even if you are just going along with what I want, if it’s a net good in the end, then who cares?” I want to believe his feelings on this war are less cynical than that, but... “But... I hope you actually do care.” My voice was so meek, I regretted tacking that on as soon as I said it. “Um... If you really think humans are so evil, then you have a chance to really stick it to them by ending their stupid war and forcing them all to sing Kumbaya...”

He just smiled to himself. “You know me so well, Takumi.” He held his mug flat on his palm. “Would you like to hear my honest opinion on this war?”

“... Sure.” I could feel my blood rushing in my ears.

He crossed one long leg over the other. “I think it’s just in human nature to ‘other’ one another, to claw desperately over each other, and selfishly compete for limited resources. The machine we call ‘society’ needs to keep some people struggling at the bottom rungs, poor and uneducated and competing for low-paying jobs to fill out the work force—or else the machine won’t be able to run smoothly. That’s capitalism in a nutshell.” Well... I can’t say I necessarily disagree, but I think that says a lot more about his cynical worldview than anything... “Unless humans can shed the tainted part of their souls that makes them propagate a society which runs on exploiting others—nothing will change. I’m not wrong about that, am I?”

“Well...” Honestly, I couldn’t think of a rebuttal. “I guess not... To be honest, I haven’t been thinking so far ahead on how to ‘rebuild’ society... It’s taken everything I have just to focus on surviving.”

“Hm...” He almost laughed. “Well, I’m sorry to pile more on your plate, Takumi—but these are things worth considering. Otherwise, peace will never last no matter how badly both sides wish for it.”

“I guess you’re right...” I was feeling so tired...

He put his arm around me. “There may be some ‘good’ individual humans out there who have empathy and love for others, and want to change things for the better—like you.” He smiled down at me, but it still looked a little sad. “But I don’t think that’s enough to override human nature on a grand scale. Humans had every logical reason to not pollute and destroy their only planet—but they did it anyway. Due to short-sighted greed, ignorance... As long as ‘I get mine’, nothing else matters—it’s every man for themselves once the noose starts tightening, so to speak.” It was all I could do just to focus on his nails lightly scratching my back… “I think it will be very difficult for those sheltered humans up on that satellite to adapt to a totally new way of life on this planet. Even beyond political or socioeconomic differences—they’ll have to cohabitate with a race of people who believe in a God that’s completely foreign to them.” My palms were starting to hurt from the heat of the mug. “Likewise, I think it will be difficult for the Futurans to welcome foreigners to their planet, who neither know nor respect their God, whom they view as providing everything for them. Even the Futurans who are willing to welcome the humans in peace... I think the reality of two disparate cultures trying to coexist will run up on them in unexpected ways.” I felt my throat going dry, but my tea was still too hot to drink. “I don’t think it will be easy at all... War may very well break out all over again. I think that’s something you need to be prepared for... I’m sorry to say.”

I swallowed a heavy lump in my parched throat. “... Thank you for your brutal honesty.” I laid my head on his shoulder. “... Those are the kind of thoughts I’ve been running away from...” I let my eyes close. I was feeling so exhausted, I just wanted to go back to bed... “Even when Yugamu asked me yesterday, ‘What will you do if the humans turn against you?’ All I could say was, ‘I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it...’”

I felt his nails dragging up and down my back... “No one’s asking you these questions to doubt you, or make your ideals look foolish... I’m sure those who are on board just want some reassurance.” It did feel nice, even if it didn’t help calm my swirling thoughts at all... “But, ‘irreconcilable differences’ are an eventuality you may have to plan for. Nothing is hypothetical when a volatile situation could go an infinite number of ways.”

“... I guess you’re right.” I gripped the handle of my mug—I almost let it slip right out of my hands and spill hot tea all over my feet. “Geez—I need to drink this, I almost dropped it...”

“Haha... Would you like me to make some coffee instead?”

“No... I don’t want to be wired up, either.” Reluctantly, I sat up straight, blowing on my tea again before taking a tentative sip... It was still pretty hot, but not scalding. “... thank you for the tea.”

“You’re welcome.” He took a quiet sip himself. “Haha... Let me tell you a secret, Takumi. I didn’t even tell the other Eito this when he questioned me, you know! Ah—First Eito, that is—unfortunately, my other self was nowhere to be seen.”

“... I see.” I did vaguely recall being pulled out of the dream by my “ears” again, like Shion came to my rescue—but it was mostly a blur, I was only vaguely conscious of First Eito talking to me right before I woke up... I guess Second Eito really did bow out gracefully, after all... I hope he appears at least one more time before disappearing for good, so I can say goodbye... “Oh—what did you say?”

He sighed. “Well... Unfortunately, I was too busy feeling smug for seeing through First Eito’s sloppy charade—at least, that’s what I thought at the time.” He pushed up his glasses. “Haah... You see? Even I’m not above falling into the trappings of human nature—punching down with this desperate need to establish myself as the ‘superior’ one, not seeing his intentions for what they were—I played right into his hand, I’m sure he’s laughing at me now.”

“Geez...” I could picture First Eito’s unnerving face-splitting grin... “Ugh—he’s probably laughing at me, too. ‘I made sure you’re going to have a better life by confronting these issues before they get out of hand—idiot.’”

“Hrnk—” I never thought I’d see it—Eito did a spit-take into his tea. “—oh, dear—” He desperately grabbed multiple tissues from his bedside table, furiously wiping his face, the mug, his hands, his pure white pants—

“Are you okay?”

“—I’m fine.” He sighed loudly. “It wasn’t enough to burn me... I’m more embarrassed than anything.” He wiped the bottom of his mug again before setting it on the table, jumping up to see if he needed to wipe the floor, too. “Haah...” He looked up at me with sloped brows, knelt on the floor. “‘I’ll make sure you have a better life, idiot’—that does sound like him, doesn’t it?”

“It does... It’s like he’s trying to reclaim his ‘Asshole Eito’ title.”

“Hehe...” He laughed more genuinely. “Well...” He finally calmed down once the remnants of the spill were sufficiently cleaned, and he sat back on the bed. “At any rate...” He rested his hands flat on his thighs. There was a little wet spot on his pants, but he said it didn’t burn... “I told him exactly what you said—‘Does it really matter if I care about fostering peace or not? I’m still going to do it.’” He smiled down at me. “But—for what it’s worth... I do hope you’re right, Takumi.” He had a rare look of contentment, but something in his smile was... “It would be nice if my cynical worldview is proven wrong... If both groups of people could cohabitate in peace on this planet. So... I’ll do everything I can to make that happen.” I knew it—his smile was the same as yesterday, when he said, “That would be lovely...” “You can believe that, if nothing else.” If you really mean that—then why do you look so sad?

I didn’t know what to do, so I just laid my head on his shoulder again. “Thanks for your support.” It felt so hollow—how was I supposed to believe his sincerity when he talked about it in this distant way, as if he’s not going to be around to see it? I don’t like it at all...

I felt his arm move again, like he was going to rub my back... But he didn’t.

We just sat like that awkwardly, neither of us getting closer or pulling apart—eventually I took another sip of my tea.

“—I hope you believe me, Takumi.”

“I do—” I licked my lips. “But if doing ‘everything you can’ means doing something stupid like throwing yourself off a building again, I’m going to be really mad.”

“Haha...” He laughed awkwardly, but his body language finally relaxed. “Well, I have no intention of doing that...” He stared unfocused down at his tea for a second, then he took a sip. “... I couldn’t stand it if a widowed Takumi ran into someone else’s arms after all the hard work I put in.”

“Geez...” Well—he did really mean that, I could say that for sure...

百

Takemaru was leaned back against his massive bean bag chair, manspreading like no one’s business. “I’m with you all the way, Takumi—ain’t no way I’m lettin’ those chumps in charge blow up the planet.” He grinned with the ferocity of a wild tiger. “There’s enough room down here for everyone to live comfortably—even if the humans and Futurans wanna live apart for a while, there’s still enough elbow room to do it.”

“Well...” That just sounds like more “othering”, and “irreconcilable differences” waiting to happen. “Ideally, I’d want both societies to be able to integrate... But I guess I can’t expect that to happen quickly.”

Takemaru shrugged. “Do folks really need to ‘assimilate’ or whatever to get along? Didn’t people with different cultures an’ religion an’ shit live all together back on Earth?”

“Well...” Sometimes, yes... Other times, not so much. Humanity is complicated...

He scratched the back of his mullet. “I dunno, Takumi—I got this old-ass Hindu neighbor back home, he brings homemade lamb vindaloo over to me an’ my Mom’s place every week—and he makes palak paneer for the veggie Shinto priest at the shrine down the street. Doesn’t bother him none—and my Mom’s a stone-cold atheist, but she still wishes him a happy Diwali or whatever.”

I laughed. “That’s sweet... If microcosms like that can exist in the Tokyo Residential Complex, then maybe there’s some hope after all...” Though, it begs the question—did any religion actually survive into the TRC, or were those all things we got from textbooks being uploaded into our brains? There might be some semblance of Shintoism alive up there, since the planet itself proved the existence of its soul by using its life force to kill itself...

“Takumi?” Takemaru’s sharp eyebrows furrowed. “What’s the matter, man—you still got some doubts?”

“... I guess I do.” I let my eyes close. “I can’t just dismiss every cynical point about human nature that Eito brings up... It’s not like he’s wrong.” I scratched my hair. “Even if the people of Futurum don’t insist on the humans settling on their planet to revere their God... tensions just might start quietly cropping up if the humans don’t even acknowledge the God of the planet’s existence at all.” This was really getting into philosophical territory, but... “What if the planet has its own will just like Earth, and it starts rejecting us? What if the humans start hoarding resources and taking more than they need because they’re afraid of another shortage—and they take too much and the planet starts destroying itself? I can’t just afford to not think about these things...”

Takemaru sighed heavily. “I dunno, Takumi—I’m not too good with that kinda stuff. It gives me a headache even thinkin’ about it...” He let his broad shoulders relax against his bean bag. “I’d say just focus on endin’ the war first. Anything else can wait—it takes two to tango, the Futurans and the folks in the TRC all have to decide what they wanna do, it’s not just all on your shoulders.”

“I guess you’re right...” That’s something I’ve definitely been guilty of—letting myself fall into this trap of thinking of myself as the de facto voice of reason, that the final decisions all fell on me. Just because I have knowledge of how things might possibly play out in one version of the future. I wasn’t even aware of “multiple timelines” my first go around... I just thought I made a closed loop by coming back. “I do need to learn to rely on everyone else... It’s not just on me all the time, you’re right.”

“That’s what I’m sayin’, lil buddy!” He reached forward and strongly clapped my shoulder. “You just leave the fightin’ to me—I’ll defend this place with everything I got, just like Shion—then, once no one wants to fight anymore, I’ll open up a community center with a sick-ass pool and a gym!”

“Whoa, really?” I finally let myself relax, sinking into the tacky purple loveseat. “That’s a pretty nice goal—are you going to teach Tai Chi classes for all the seniors to keep them active?”

“You know it—gotta use it or you lose it!” He flexed his huge bicep. Takemaru really was a sweet guy... No wonder Yugamu was so drawn to him this time around, they were both the “easily misunderstood” type with a secret soft side, now that I thought about it... 

“Hey, Takemaru...” Actually—nevermind. It wasn’t really my place to ask...

“What’s up, Takumi?”

“Nothing—just thinking out loud.” I hugged my legs. I was tempted to just ask if Takemaru was even aware that Yugamu was flirting with him left and right—I mean, Takemaru never struck me as the most romantic guy in the world, but he couldn’t be that dense... right?

“Hey—Takumi.” His gaze suddenly sharpened. “I just thought of somethin’... You remember what Pretty Boy said?”

“Yugamu? When, you mean about the political envoy?”

“No—yesterday.” He draped his long arm over his knee. “About, ‘What if everyone on the satellite turns against you’—well, anyone who wants to fuck around, can find out.” He gave a huge thumbs-down. “If anyone wants to start shit on the planet, I say we vote ‘em off the island.”

“What—just exile any dissenters?”

“Yeah, man—ain’t nobody got time for that!”

“Well...” How to put this delicately... “I understand wanting to maintain peace at any cost... I even said I’d be willing to resort to violence to stop anyone who threatens that peace...” I bit my lip, the hypocrisy of that statement ringing in my ears. “But—if we just ‘get rid of’ anyone who disagrees with us, then we’d basically just become the new dictators... We’d be no better than V’ehxness.”

“No way—we’d be doin’ it for the right reason, man! It’s totally different!”

“Is it?” Takemaru’s sharp eyes widened just a bit. “Sorry—I’m not trying to be a dick. I just...”

“Nah...” He sighed heavily, just stopping short of blowing a raspberry. “You’re right, Takumi... Everyone like that thinks they’re ‘right’...” He scratched the back of his hair. “We can’t just toss motherfuckers into the bay in a cement barrel just ‘cuz they disagree with us... I mean, look at Stringbean.” His eye contact was a little intimidating. “That guy was evil as shit—but you managed to get him to come around.”

“I guess you’re right...” It stung to hear Eito being called “evil”... But in all fairness... “I guess—the difference between being ‘evil’ and ‘misguided’ stems from whether someone is willing to change.” It still felt like “misguided” was putting it lightly—but I couldn’t think of a better word at the moment. “I want to believe that empathy is endemic to human nature, and anyone can change.”

A small voice in my head interrupted—“Was Pakron capable of change? What about V’ehxness? How about the Eito who stabbed and killed Shion while he was helpless in his pod?”

My eyes scrunched closed involuntarily.

“Whoa, Takumi—what’s the matter?” Takemaru was up in a heartbeat, his hand on my shoulder.

“—sorry, I’m fine.” My eyes started stinging. “Hah... I’m not fine, actually...”

He wrapped me up in a big bear hug.

“It’s okay, man—you got a lot of shit on your plate.” He roughly palmed my back. “Damnit... Some pal I am—what’ve I been doin’, fuckin’ around ridin’ my bike around the school instead of helpin’ you shoulder it all...”

I buried my face in his shoulder. “It’s not your fault... I guess I’m not good at asking for help when I need it.” I could feel snot dripping at the end of my nose, and I sucked it back in louder than I meant to. “Hah—damnit. I can’t stop thinking about it...” My voice sounded stuffy. “I’ve already messed up this timeline—I didn’t mean to hurt Pakron so badly... I didn’t want to have to kill her, even after what Kyoshika and Yugamu told me... I’m just a hypocrite.”

“Hey—don’t beat yourself up over stuff you can’t do nothin’ about.” Takemaru never hugged me like this before—his arms felt so strong, it helped me relax and feel safe... “You did the best you could—you said those guys all have a bomb in ‘em as a last resort, right?” He kept rubbing my back... “If you kept hesitatin’, that chick mighta just blown herself up and taken her out with us, anyway.”

I guess it was possible... although I don’t know if someone as proud as Pakron would’ve chosen to go out that way. I just wish I could control my strength better... I still have a long way to go. “Maybe...”

“Hey, I’m not just blowin’ smoke up your ass—I’ll tell ya if I think you’re doin’ somethin’ wrong, Takumi.”

“I know—I appreciate that, really.”

“Yeah, man—I got your back!” He clapped my back with enthusiasm.

“Haha...”

I stayed like that for a bit, indulging in the feeling of being held by someone a lot stronger than me... I hope this doesn’t awaken something in me, that wouldn’t be fair to a “Stringbean”—not that I mind that either, I think Eito’s just fine the way he is. 

Hmm... I wonder what Yugamu’s type is, if he’s into muscles—he didn’t seem to have a particular preference, he just kinda struck me as being down for whatever. But even his other self said, “Takemaru’s got a nice body, especially with all those scars—and I know he has a good heart, so he’ll treat me right.” Actually, Takemaru was his first suggestion when we were spitballing who’d be a good partner for him, now that I think about it. Well—now’s as good a time as any to put a feeler out there, Yugamu already put his cards on the table, so it couldn’t hurt... I can probably find a way to get there without being too direct.

“Hey, so—since you’re looking out for me, you don’t think I’m being taken for a ride?” I finally pulled away. “Eito isn’t pulling some big elaborate trick on me just to stab me in the back later?”

“I doubt it—” Takemaru rolled his eyes heavily. “No offense, Takumi—but that guy’s not as good an actor as he thinks he is.”

“Maybe that’s just what he wants you to think.”

“Haah...” He settled against the loveseat. “Listen, Takumi—” His gaze was as sharp as ever, especially without his sunglasses. “Long as that guy keeps his shit in line and doesn’t plan on strangling you in your sleep, anything else is none of my business. I’m not about to go all Sirei on ya.”

“I don’t think I have to worry about that...” He’s had several opportunities by now, if that’s what he really wanted to do. And there’s nothing stopping him from just running away, the fire extinguishers are right there...

“But listen to me.” Takemaru looked right into my eyes. “You’re asking for trouble gettin’ with a guy who’s so obsessed with you.”

I actually swallowed—having it said so bluntly by someone else made it that much more obvious.

“I’m bein’ serious here—you know that guy just sits there at the table with a thousand-yard stare, either ignorin’ everyone or being a smartass to whoever tries to make small talk with ‘im—he only lights up when you come in, like you’re the only thing in the world that matters at all.”

“I know that—trust me, I’ve been very direct that I won’t tolerate being anyone’s lifeline or ‘reason for being’—he needs to have something else, at least. Like writing a book.”

“Yeah?” He propped up his leg, not sounding very convinced. “Well even if he does write some book, that doesn’t mean the guy doesn’t have you on the brain all the time—it’s dangerous indulging someone who’s projecting their own expectations on you like that. Trust me, I’ve seen it.” He didn’t look like he was exaggerating... “Pretty soon they’re gonna want more, and more—then they get mad when you don’t give ‘em your attention every second, that’s when they get really scary.” He didn’t break eye contact. “Just something to keep your eye on, Takumi—at least the signs are real obvious. You just gotta make sure you’re not makin’ excuses for ‘em, like—‘Oh, they’re just really lonely’ or, ‘Oh, they ain’t been in a real relationship before and don’t know what to do.’ You feel me?”

“I do—that’s actually really good advice, Takemaru.” I crossed my legs on the couch. “You really are like everyone’s cool older brother.”

“Hah—ya think so, huh?”

“Yeah—” I smiled. “I’m not the only one, either.”

He scratched the back of his hair. “What, Pretty Boy say that, too?”

“Yugamu?” I tried to downplay the surprise in my tone. “I mean, obviously he thinks you’re a pretty good guy... What do you think about him?” I couldn’t think of a smoother way to ask... this was probably the best transition I was going to get. 

His eyes flicked away. “That guy’s pretty fuckin’ weird...” He folded his arms. “Guess he’s all right, though... You know, for a dude who kills people for a livin’.” I smiled.

百

“Ehehe... You’re so sweet, Takumi.” Yugamu poured more of those addicting sweet potato snacks into the bowl. “It would’ve been fine even if you blurted out, ‘You know that guy wants to gargle you six ways from Sunday, right?’”

“Ugh—well I wasn’t about to say that...” I crunched on another sweet potato chip. “I kind of blanked on what to say though, sorry—I just went with, ‘He thinks you’re a pretty good guy’ because that seemed the least superficial...”

“Hehe—well, I appreciate your effort, Takumi.” He was stirring a fizzy yellow drink in a long cocktail glass, with one of those thin metal rods... “I’ll just have to leave all subtlety by the wayside, then.”

“You think you were being subtle before?”

“Hehe... Well, I don’t want to insult the thickness of our friend’s skull.” He set the swirling yellow concoction in front of me. “Here, drink this—there’s plenty of ginger, ginseng, and lemon in it—it’ll give you a boost.”

“Thanks... Do I look tired?”

“You do—if you want, I can give you a cold spoon for your eyes?”

I held the glass to my lips, the ginger and lemon scent hitting my nose as the bubbles fizzed. “... Maybe.”

He laid his hand on my shoulder. “I’ll lend an ear if there’s anything else you want to get out.” His hand gently slipped away, and he took his seat across the table from me. “Though I hope that gangster’s strong arms aren’t just good for fighting, ehehe...”

“Geez...” I took a small sip of my drink—hoo, that had quite the kick, my lips literally puckered from the sourness. “Hoo—that’s sour.”

“Oh, my—I added some honey, maybe I can water it down some more for you.”

“Yeah, actually—” I handed him the glass. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” He went over to the water cooler he kept in his room, pouring my drink into a larger glass mug and topping it off. He gave it a good stir, leveling his gaze at it to make sure it didn’t lose too much carbonation.

I smiled. “You know, Yugamu—I wonder if you’d be happy operating a small private practice out of the house? That way, you’d never be too far away from home, and can still live out your house-husband fantasy...”

“Ehehe... ‘Home’...” He set my mug down in front of me. “Is it telling that I imagined myself in a big house with all of us raising baby Shion together, rather than returning to my own family on the satellite?”

I blew on my mug, forgetting that it wasn’t hot tea. “I understand why you’d feel that way...” I looked up at him a little sheepishly. “Honestly... I’d really like that, too. If all of us lived together in a traditional-style house, with a big garden with a koi pond, and free-roaming chickens...”

“Hehe... It does sound nice, doesn’t it?” He took a sip of his own undiluted lemon drink. He sounded like he actually meant it, not like Eito’s poorly-disguised forlorn, “That sounds lovely...” “I wouldn’t even mind being a stay-at-home Mommy for the first few years, until Shion is old enough to go to school... Although, I can still at least act as our family physician.” He smiled at me, his eye curved to a crescent. “I have a lot of transferrable skills already, I’d just need more formal training if I want to be anything above an underground doctor—it might be just what my restless heart needs to get into the business of saving lives instead of taking them.”

“I think it’s a great idea—I know you’d be really happy as a doctor.” His special concoction was a lot more drinkable watered down—I couldn’t taste the bitterness of the ginseng at all, and the ginger gave it a nice zip along with the carbonation. “This is really tasty—thank you.”

“Hehe... You know, Takumi—I’ll even tolerate Eito’s presence if you want to start a happy little polycule with the four of us...”

“Geez...” I took another sip. “I don’t know... I kind of like Takemaru as the cool older brother. I don’t want to muddy the waters.” I rolled my eyes. “Plus—if I even suggested something like that to Eito, it’d probably end in a murder-suicide...” I was just being a smartass, but... as soon as I said it, the creeping feeling that it wasn’t totally out of the realm of possibility started prickling me. Honestly... If I actually said I wanted to start seeing other people or have an open relationship, Eito would probably just quietly disappear beyond the wall of fire and never come back. I don’t even want to think about it—is that what Takemaru meant when he said to watch out for making excuses just because someone’s really lonely?

“That’s quite a dark statement to make, even as a joke, Takumi.” Yugamu sipped his drink. “Are you sure it’s a good idea for you to indulge someone whose world completely revolves around you?”

“Isn’t that the opposite of what you said before?”

He snickered. “I just said that if it’s mutual codependence, that’s one thing... But Eito Aotsuki isn’t the brightest star at the center of your universe, is he?” He took another sip. “So it’s unbalanced...”

I held my glass mug between my palms. “... I don’t think it’d be any better if I was dependent on him, too...”

“I didn’t say it’d be ‘better’, just that someone telling you that you’re their reason for living would be less frightening, ehehe...”

I took another sip, the bitterness of the ginseng root coming through... I couldn’t think of anything to say.

百

“Oh—I didn’t come here just to gossip.” I sat up straight in my chair, trying to manifest the energy boost from that homemade drink. “Is there anything you want to add before I meet with the emissaries?”

“No—I’ve said all I wanted to say.” Yugamu smiled at me. “It seems that the best bet for not only our own survival, but everyone we left behind in the Tokyo Residential Complex, is to try to make peace with the Futurans.” He folded his arms. “Though... I can’t say I won’t be tempted to hitch a ride back to the satellite if the opportunity presents itself.” His smile took on a rare hint of sadness. “I have a rather important promise to keep, you see—and every moment I keep them waiting only prolongs their suffering.”

“... I understand.” I tried not to fidget my hands in my lap. I wonder... Did Yugamu’s other self keep his heart closed that whole time because of his promise to his “special someone”? He said it wasn’t a romantic connection, but... I wonder about that. Yugamu’s whole outlook on romance and relationships is more nuanced than most...

“But I’ll come right back—I won’t just leave you here all on your lonesome, Takumi.”

“What?”

He smiled. “Once I fulfill my promise—I’ll come right back down to the planet, even if I have to hijack the rescue shuttle to do it. I won’t leave you all here to fend for yourselves—that just wouldn’t be very sportsmanlike.” He folded his arms. “Plus... I’m sorry to say, Takumi—but your explanation still has quite a lot of holes in it.” He rubbed his chin. “As someone who’s intimately familiar with drugs and brainwashing techniques that can be used to alter one’s memory—I find it hard to believe that we’d still all be able to function if our memories were altered as heavily as you implied since childhood.” He grinned. “That, and my family is very prideful when it comes to our techniques and physiological modifications—they would never sign me over to be crudely experimented on by the government, and they’d know if I had been right away. And if I was abducted by some military outfit, well—needless to say, that outfit would have been swiftly erased from existence a long time ago.” He calmly smiled, his eye a crescent. “So—I’m still waiting for your full explanation. No doubt the truth will fill us with such despair and existential dread... ehehe, I can’t wait. It’s making me all tingly just imagining it...”

I almost laughed, out of nerves more than anything. “That’s not exactly the reaction I was expecting...”

He laughed lightly, folding his arms. “Well... Those feelings you brought back with you, from my other self... There’s a strong sense of, ‘This is my family.’” His hands slipped into the billowing sleeves of his robe. “Almost as if this ragtag group we have here is all that we have in the whole world... ehehe.”

I didn’t know what to say.

“Can you tell me one thing, Takumi?” His eye was closed, the blue illustrated eye on his patch staring unblinking. “Is there still a promise for me to fulfill?”

“... Do you really want me to answer?”

“Yes. Please.”

I fidgeted my fingers in my lap. “—there isn’t someone suffering out there waiting for you to free them. So you don’t have to worry about that...” I regretted saying it as soon as it passed my lips. “Um... I’m sorry.” My voice was so soft and meek.

“... I see.” His hands slipped back out of his sleeves. “Oh, come now, Takumi—you look more devastated than I am. Hehe... Come here.” He moved his chair closer, wrapping his arms around me. His face was completely hidden in my collarbone.

I rubbed his back, trying to envelop him as much as I possibly could. I ran my nails through his fuzzy undercut, anything I could to let him know I was here.

“... thank you for telling me.”

百

“Takumi?”

“—I’m all right, just a little tired.” I snapped back from almost falling asleep sitting up...

Nozomi’s brows sloped, but she smiled gently. “There’s still plenty of time before noon. Maybe you could take a power nap, just for an hour—I bet you’ll feel refreshed after that.”

“But I still have to talk to everyone.” I wiped my eye, feeling my eyelid pull. “I don’t want to just make a sweeping decision without everyone’s input...”

She put her hand on my shoulder. “Why don’t you meet with the messengers, and see what they have to say first? Then we can all have a group meeting afterwards.” Oh... “And you can still talk to everyone one-on-one—it depends on what the Futurans have to say, right?”

“I guess you’re right... I should’ve thought of it that way.”

She smiled. “It’ll be all right, Takumi—the only person who sounded hesitant to abandon the mission was Kurara... I bet she sees war differently because she comes from a long line of weapons manufacturers.” She closed her eyes. “She always said that if she died in battle... To just treat her like a statistic, and move on.”

“That’s awful...” 

“Well—it is very much like her.” She gripped her own arms tightly.

“... Are things awkward between you two?”

She gave me a sympathetic smile. “A little... I think Kurara’s had to grow up being really vigilant about people trying to deceive her, because of who her family is... So I don’t blame her for being mad at me.”

“Well... It’s not like you were lying to try to get something out of her.” I could kind of understand the first time, with the messy way freaking First Eito spread all those rumors and caught Nozomi completely off-guard—but Kurara was just being too sensitive this time. It’s obvious Nozomi was on our side, and she chose to come clean as soon as it became relevant... choosing to quietly conceal her background wasn’t targeted at Kurara in any way, she had to understand that.

“Still... I can understand why she’d be upset. She just found out someone she trusted wasn’t who they said they were...”

“... I guess I can understand that.”

Her brows sloped sadly. “You just leave Kurara to me—for now, why don’t you get some rest?” She pushed out her chair. “I’ll go tell everyone that we’ll all talk more after lunch, once you’ve met with the Futurans.”

“... Thanks, Nozomi.” I was so tired, I just wanted to lay my head down on the table... “I guess I do feel like I have to do everything myself a lot of the time... sorry for being so bad at relying on you guys when I need it...”

“Hehe...” She laughed lightly. “Well, that will come with time.” She placed a gentle hand on my back. “You just go rest.”

“Thanks... I think I will.”

百

A few short hours later, at high noon...

百

Kyoshika gave me a firm nod, her brow furrowed with determination.

Eito’s expression was stony and cold—but when his eyes met mine, he gave me a small smile.

“Don’t mind me, Takumi—it’s a new sensation for me, directing my killing intent into protecting someone, haha...”

“Sir Eito—‘The strongest warriors are those who draw their blades the least.’” Kyoshika placed her hand over her heart. “If you wish to become Sir Takumi’s sword—think instead of becoming his shield.”

Eito actually looked like he was contemplating it... “‘His shield,’ eh...” He rubbed his chin. “Haha... Well, I can understand what you mean, in an abstract sense—but I still want to show off how strong I am so Takumi will pat my head some more! Haha...”

“Ugh...” I pressed my palms into my eyes. If it was anyone else besides Kyoshika here, I might’ve imploded from embarrassment... but she could say some pretty embarrassing stuff herself, so I know she’s not judging... I really missed her presence on the team our second time around, it was just hitting me that she was here, and I had to do my best to make sure she stayed here... That everyone stayed here.

I lightly slapped both sides of my face. 

“All right—I’m ready.”

“Everyone else is on standby for deployment, Sumino.” Sirei’s normally goofy tone was steadfast. “Shion’s increased the strength of the Undying Flames all around the school—he’ll only weaken the portion to the east as your group approaches.” He pointed at his own eyes, like the overbearing father-in-law in that wacky romantic comedy... “And you better believe Nigou and I will be watching those monitors like hawks—no bait-and-switches or sneak attacks will happen on my watch. Though it’s been quiet on all fronts since this morning...”

“I see... Well, thank you for your thoroughness.” I gave Sirei a nod. “Oddly enough, that gives me the confidence to approach our envoys with open honesty.”

Eito pushed up his glasses. “Allow me to bear all the cynicism and distrust for this mission, Takumi—I can hurl my scythe through the flames and remove the heads from their shoulders before they can even think of betraying you.”

“Thanks... I’m counting on you.” Honestly... That was the best thing he could offer me. Knowing he had my back in case things went wrong, meant that I had no reason to carry doubt with me into this meeting.

Kyoshika placed her hand on the hilt of the Holy Jumonji Sword. “Thank you for choosing me as your co-emissary, Sir Takumi. Allow the Holy Jumonji Sword and I to cut through the hatred this war has wrought, and clear the way for a new path of peace.”

I smiled. “Thank you, Kyoshika.”

“Sumino.” Sirei pointed at his right eye. “Before you go, you have a little dust in your eye...”

“I do?” I pointed at my right eye as well.

Sirei went still, and I heard a ‘click’. A few seconds later, the light in his left eye lit up, and I pressed it.

“Good luck out there, Sumino—let’s hope for your sake these Futurans are as tree-hugging and lily-livered as you kids are—now, let Operation: Sappy Sucker commence!!”

I laughed, pressing Sirei’s right eye. “Thank you, Mr. Sirei. I’ll do my best.” I sent the message.

A swirling flame appeared in the entryway, but his visage was faint. “I’m here too, Takumi—just call on me if you need me.”

“Thanks, Shion—just knowing that you’re strengthening the Undying Flame wall is a huge help.”

He smiled, then disappeared to conserve his energy.

Sirei came back online. “Now get out there and negotiate, Sumino—remember, we have the upper hand to bargain with!” He winked. I suppose that’s objectively true, if he’s referring to Shion... But I’d rather not rely on threats to achieve a forced peace, like that one Gundham anime Kyoshika was talking about...

I grabbed the first fire extinguisher, and Kyoshika grabbed the second. “Well—shall we?”

Wordlessly, Eito turned the handle, wrenching open the huge reinforced doors.

百

It wasn’t nerves, per se—but I was getting apprehensive about being the one to propose peace between our two peoples—I was starting to feel like I was way out of my depth. I’m not a politician, or an expert negotiator... I’m just a guy who doesn’t want to see any more of my friends die. I just don’t want to cause any more pointless death...

“Sir Takumi.” Kyoshika stopped before the wall of flame. “One does not need to be as eloquent as a poet, or as charismatic as the Prime Minister to get their point across.” She gave me a smile. “Simply speak from the heart, as you’ve done up until now.”

“... You’re right. Thanks for the reminder, Kyoshika.”

Eito smiled, putting his hands on my shoulders—it was that terrifying smile he would give me while he was still in the cage, though I could tell that he was doing it on purpose. “I’ll be watching closely, Takumi—if it’s to keep you safe, I can be more ruthless than even First Eito, haha...”

“Hoo... I believe it.” Seeing the shadow over his face as he smiled like that—I’m just glad he’s on our side this time...

Before my brain could catch up, he planted a kiss on my hair...

“There—it’s a ‘love and peace’ charm!” He gave me the hugest wink ever. “If we’re all going to be a bunch of tree-hugging pacifists, then we might as well commit all the way!”

“Thanks...” I pawed down my hair, making sure it wasn’t sticking up every which way... though that was probably inevitable.

“Haha... The heat from the Undying Flames is so intense, your skeleton is steaming up like a dumpling!”

“I’m sure it is...” I turned away from him resolutely, trying to will away the blush I knew was coming on...

“Oh, dear!” Kyoshika was flustered with worry. “Your skeleton is steaming, Sir Takumi?! We can’t have that—I will go fetch Sir Yugamu to perform a thorough examination post-haste!”

“That won’t be necessary...” As ridiculous as his antics were, Eito doing that did help me relax... It would be okay. I just had to speak from the heart... If they really wanted to ambush us or lure us into a trap, my hemoanima would probably be surging uncontrollably by now... I just had to put as much faith in them as they were willing to put in us.

I raised the fire extinguisher, blasting a hole in the wall. Kyoshika had the second one hidden under her cloak, just in case. She stepped through first, and I followed suit, leaving the extinguisher with Eito on the other side.

Sure enough, Murvrum was waiting for us just outside the wall, his hands locked behind his back stoically—and a woman was with him. I recognized her mask right away—it was Eva. A flood of emotions surged through me—surprise, relief, worry—was it safe for her to be here, being V’ehxness’ sister?

I tried to control my facial expression—I didn’t want to muddy the waters, so I just had to pretend that I didn’t know Eva from Adam. I never even got to know the real her, after all, so she might as well be an entirely different person...

“Greetings. I am relieved our missive made its way to you, young ones.” Murvrum spoke first. “Thank you for meeting with us this day—I apologize that our request was made on such short notice.”

I decided to just drop the old-world RPG way of speaking, and just be myself. “It’s okay—I’m just relieved that you reached out to us at all.” I found myself touching my heart. “You have no idea how glad I was to receive your letter...”

Murvrum surprised me by stepping forward. “Likewise—a great pall cast itself from the hearts of those who oppose this war, once we learned that we could communicate with our enemies.” He actually held out his hand. “This is the gesture of peace among your people, is it not?”

I shook his hand, hoping I didn’t look too eager. “It is—thank you.” I shook his hand firmly. “Ah—I apologize, I don’t believe I actually gave you my name last time.” I was so wrapped up in trying to speak properly, while riding the line of saying what I needed to say without getting blown up by Sirei... “My name is Takumi Sumino—I’m glad to officially make your acquaintance.” I still found myself speaking a little formally out of habit...

“Takumi Sumino...” He had quite the strong handshake. “I am Murvrum, Paragon of Order. I am glad to have the opportunity to speak to you like this off the battlefield.”

Kyoshika stepped up next. “I am also pleased to make your acquaintance, Sir Murvrum, as one warrior to another.” She extended her hand. “I am Kyoshika Magadori, a practitioner of Bushido.”

Murvrum firmly shook her hand. “I can see in you a strong warrior’s spirit, not unlike those who served under my father—I am pleased to make your acquaintance, Kyoshika Magadori.” Wow—that was quite a compliment.

“Likewise, Sir Murvrum.”

I peered through the wall, just barely able to make out Eito’s silhouette. “For the sake of transparency, we have one more ally on standby, in the event that we need to get back inside to defend the school quickly.”

At last, Eva stepped forward. “So... That facility is a ‘school’?” To my surprise, she placed her hands at the base of her mask. “Murvrum informed me that your forces were young, but I did not expect you to still be children...”

“Eva—your mask, are you certain?” Murvrum’s voice took on a softer tone.

“Yes. I want to look into their eyes.” In one fluid motion, she removed her mask. Black hair with purple highlights spilled from her mask, and her light blue eyes looked right into mine. “Takumi Sumino... I am Eva, Paragon of Nature.” Her voice was calm and even, but not unemotional, like when she was brainwashed. Oh... I just realized that I have Eva’s hemoanima with me twice... through Shouma and First Eito… “I must ask you—what are your people’s intentions?” Her eyes searched mine, openly and honestly. “If you do not wish to wage war, why have you come to this planet?”

I looked back into her eyes, never wavering. “Our intentions are to end this war without any more bloodshed. Although I acknowledge that that may be an impossible goal—that is my honest wish.” I had to blink, but my eyes never left hers. “As to why we’ve come to this planet... it wasn’t of our own will.” I took a deep breath, though I tried to do so silently. “We were drafted into this war, which also started before we were born. We were told that this planet once belonged to our people, and that your people were the invaders—but now that we understand the truth, that our people were the aggressors trying to forcefully immigrate to an innocent planet—we have no desire to prolong this conflict.” For some reason I was feeling emotional—I couldn’t help but picture Nozomi, all alone, wandering the desert looking for anyone to reach out her hand to... “I understand that the damage our people have done to your planet can never be undone... But you have my word that we will not escalate this war. We only want to make peace with the people here.”

Her eye contact was getting to be too much... “... I see.” She finally closed her eyes. “Then, you have no intention of leaving this planet, on that giant star your people appeared on?”

I knew Sirei was listening in... But I couldn’t bullshit them. There wasn’t a place on the satellite for us to return to, I honestly never wanted to even see the real Tokyo Residential Complex—our only hope was to live on this planet with the Futurans. But... I don’t know if I could forgive myself for dooming the innocent people on the satellite to wander the infinite galaxy in search of another hospitable planet, while their resources slowly ran out... 

“Ideally... As arrogant as it is of me to wish for it, I’d like for our two races to be able to cohabitate on this planet in peace... I can’t just leave them behind. It was desperation due to the death of their own planet that led them here seeking a new home in the first place.”

“... I see.” She finally relaxed her stance, her mask under her arm. “When your people first made contact with ours, communication was impossible... Whatever attempt was made at peaceful negotiation quickly devolved into dispute, then conflict... Although, this also happened before I was born.”

“Likewise—I know of what transpired from my father, who led the heroes chosen by the planet when your people made contact.” Right—that’s what they called themselves, “Commanders” was just our term for them. “It is true—when contact was first made, not a single weapon was fired from either side.” Murvrum looked up all around him, at the desolation and devastation. “As you can plainly see, this did not last. The scars of this war are deep.”

My eyes scrunched closed involuntarily. “I’m sorry—if there was anything I could do to change the past, I would.”

“Sir Takumi...”

Eva had a peaceful expression, her eyes closed. “Prolonging this war will not bring back those who have died. Retaliating and taking more lives in revenge will also not bring them back...” Her expression was so sad... But in her face, I could see a wisdom beyond her years. “Likewise, I am sure that up on that dying star, the number of blameless civilians far outweighs those who would wage war. Is this not so, Takumi Sumino?”

“That’s right—and just ‘Takumi’ is fine.” The Futurans might not even have a concept of family names.

“Very well... Takumi.” She gave me a smile. “In truth, I am here as a representative of our leader. There is a small but united resistance against our Supreme Commander, who forcefully took over as the war escalated. Since our goals of deposement are the same—I was sent here to evaluate your long-term goals.” She looked between Kyoshika and I. “Our leader does not seek retribution for the victims of this war... It is through her wisdom that we are able to set aside any desire for revenge or retaliation... For the planet’s wisdom teaches us that taking an eye after the loss of an eye does not restore one’s sight—it will merely leave the entire world blind, in the end.”

“We have that expression, too...” I sighed in relief. “‘An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind’... It’s amazing how similar our people are, though we come from so far away.”

“Indeed.” Kyoshika folded her arms curiously. “Ah, Lady Eva, Sir Murvrum—I have been wondering, are the smaller members of your army not capable of speech? We have yet to hear their voices, though we can hear yours clear as day.”

Eva and Murvrum looked at each other. “Those creatures... They are unholy homunculi concocted by V’ehxness, their very existence is blasphemous to the life the planet gives us... We do not agree with their creation, nor with their deployment alongside the heroes of the planet.”

“Really?” I wasn’t shocked to hear that, but I wasn’t expecting them to bring it up so readily...

I saw Murvrum’s hand clench at his side. “If my father were still leading our people, the homunculi’s existence would never be allowed. That dictator has taken prisoners of war and our own injured soldiers alike, turning them into those abominable creatures...”

“Sir Takumi?! Is this true?” Kyoshika looked shocked to her core.

“... It’s true.” I closed my eyes. “As far as I’m aware, that process is irreversible, isn’t it?”

“... We have not been able to discover a reversal process. Even our spies who managed to infiltrate one of those foul facilities could not glean a way to restore those creatures to their former selves.”

“... I see. That’s what I thought.” I turned to Kyoshika. “I’m sorry, Kyoshika... That was something else I learned from ‘divine oracle’, but since I knew they’d just be sent after us as mindless fodder no matter what... I thought it was best to just put them out of their misery.” I turned to Eva and Murvrum, giving them a shallow bow. “I’m sorry... Even though I’ve tried to keep casualties to a minimum, it’s true that we’ve had to dispatch our fair share of them—those homunculi we previously called ‘invaders’.”

“... I understand.” Eva’s voice was calm. “In truth, ending their suffering may have been the best way to show mercy.”

“We managed to destroy one facility that V’ehxness was using, but apparently there are yet more out there which we haven’t found...”

“I see...” I finally lifted my head. “So... Are you in the minority in opposing V’ehxness? Or do most of your people refer to her as a ‘dictator’?”

Murvrum turned to Eva, handing her the floor. “In truth, our numbers who directly oppose V’ehxness are few—we are made up mostly of civilians and militia, although there are more soldiers defecting by the day. She has proven ruthless when dealing with dissenters—there are doubtless many more who oppose her, but are too afraid to do so openly.” She looked between Kyoshika and I as she talked. “Though our leader has also been chosen by the planet, and possesses wisdom beyond her years—she is a shrine maiden with little fighting ability to stand against a military leader.” Eva’s eyes took on a darker sheen as she spoke. “I have seen firsthand what fate awaits those who do.” She put her hand over her heart. “My eldest brother and his wife were both executed for speaking out against her. She is not one to spare even her own family, if she deems them an obstacle in her way... And that includes myself. In truth—V’ehxness is also my older sister.”

“I see.” I took a deep breath. “Thank you for your candidness. That must put you in a difficult position.”

“Please do not blame Eva for her heritage. I know that her devotion to our cause is true.” Murvrum tensed up again. “In truth... While my father was much beloved by the people, and a far greater leader than that dictator can ever hope to be—I did not always see eye-to-eye with him, either.” I couldn’t see his eyes behind his mask, but I imagined they were closed. “While I’ve no doubt that keeping our people safe was at the forefront of his mind... My father is a man who does not know what to do with himself during times of peace. He is an old fool, who longs for battle to prove himself worthy of his place in the world... In truth, though your people were the first to attack when negotiations failed—were my father not quick to respond with the relish of battle, the conflict would not have escalated to a point of no return.”

“... I see.” I wasn’t surprised to hear that Dahl’xia was such a wardog back in his day... but it was surprising hearing his own son speaking out against him like that.

Eva was looking up at Murvrum, almost fondly... “Murvrum... Will you not show your face?” She smiled gently at him. “After all, you did not reach out to our ‘enemies’ as your father’s son, nor as a hero chosen by the planet... But as a man who sincerely wishes for peace.” Oh?

Murvrum tensed up even more. “... Very well.” His hands tentatively gripped the base of his mask. “... Please understand, Eva, that since my father’s imprisonment, I have not shown my face publicly in quite some time...”

“Hehe—I’m aware.”

Holy—well, I don’t know what I was expecting, but I didn’t think Murvrum would look like a whole snack. His face was angular, but he didn’t look wholly unapproachable, and his silver hair was buzzed smoothly on the sides and cropped short on top. Like Eva, his eyes were one color—so icy blue, they were almost white. I’m sure if he joined up with us, Gaku would do nothing but complain that a “total Chad” was making him look bad... [A/N: I picture him looking like an albino Carlos from Zero Time Dilemma XD]

“Ahem.” Murvrum cleared his throat. “Though you have knowledge of me as the son of Dahl’xia... I stand here before you merely as Murvrum.”

“I understand. Likewise—I don’t stand before you as a representative of humanity, but just Takumi.”

“‘Humanity’... is that what the Children of the Stars call themselves?”

“Yes—they call themselves ‘humans’.”

“I see...” Eva’s eyes closed for a moment. Then she looked at me with a gentle smile that almost reminded me of Karua... “Well then, Takumi—I believe in your cause. The Resistance will support you in opposing V’ehxness and bringing a swift end to this war—and once the fighting has stopped, we may begin negotiations anew so our two peoples can live together in peace.”

I let out the breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding. “Really? Thank God...” Oh—maybe I shouldn’t have said that...

“Yes—I believe it is the will of the God of the planet to not foster hatred for our enemies.” She laid her hand over her heart. “The planet possesses wisdom that we cannot grasp, and God can see the expanse of the forest where we can only see the trees...”

“I see...” The last thing I wanted to do was get into a theological debate—but if their God was telling them not to hate their enemies, then that was good enough for me. “I will need to have one final round table meeting with my allies, before we enter into any official alliance. I just wanted you to know our intentions.”

“Of course. I understand—the final decision will also fall to our leader.”

Murvrum locked his arms behind his back again. “If you will ally with the Resistance, know that I will do what I can to dismantle the dictator’s regime from the inside—though I will not be able to support you directly.” His eyes closed. “I must return to the base of our war effort. In truth, I have only been spared execution for my failure by bringing back invaluable information concerning the ‘invaders’... Surface-level though it may have been.”

“Murvrum finds himself in a precarious position—although my sister was able to best Supreme Commander Dahl’xia in combat and usurp his position, she knew better than to execute him and risk a potential mutiny. Likewise, if she executed Murvrum for making a tactical retreat after assessing our enemies’ strength, it would further shake the faith of our remaining heroes...”

“Are there other Comm—heroes who oppose V’ehxness?”

“They are not able to do so openly—but there are those who fear her growing madness, and who question her methods behind closed doors.” Her gaze became serious. “The next hero she plans to deploy is Addamaque, the Paragon of Hatred—in her eyes, he is merely an expendable pawn. Though he disapproves of her breaking our sacred taboos in order to advance the war, he is no match for her in terms of raw power. And so he continues to follow her orders, though it maddens him to do so...”

Murvrum scowled. “Addamaque is a hotheaded young man no older than yourselves—being chosen by the God of the planet has made him arrogant, but he is no warrior.” Really? That wasn’t what I was imagining... “If you present him a better ‘deal’ than he can get with V’ehxness, or the chance to ‘put that woman in her place’...” He coughed into his fist. He was being polite, but from what I recall, Addamaque called V’ehxness “that crazy bitch” behind her back... “He’ll probably turn face just for the chance to oppose her. As you’ve said, the enemy of my enemy is my ally...”

“I see... That’s certainly something to consider.” I wonder if Takemaru would be any help on that front—Murvrum pretty much said that Addamaque was some punk-ass kid, who suddenly got shiny new powers and let it go to his head. Maybe Takemaru can get in his head as a gang boss... that’d be something if he managed to make Addamaque his “underling”. 

“I will do my best to return with our leader in three days’ time—but Addamaque may very well be dispatched before then. He is growing rather impatient...” That was interesting—the timeline was already veering off-course if he was being sent before Valla-Garzo and Szanshin…

“I see—we’ll prepare for that, thank you for the advanced notice.” At least we have Kurara this time, to lay down her traps and restrict his movement... Yugamu will probably be pretty handy too, with his poison vials... Wait—“You’re going to return with your leader? Is that what you said?”

Eva smiled. “Yes—she sent me as an envoy to gauge your sincerity.” She laid her hand over your heart. “If your intentions were true, she wanted to join you herself. And I will be coming with her, if you’ll have me, Sir Takumi.”

“Yes, of course!” Whew—I’m just glad they believed me. “Oh, but—just ‘Takumi’ is fine, please!”

“Ah—I see.” Her eyes flicked briefly to Kyoshika. She might’ve thought “Sir” was a term of endearment or a mark of casual speech... “At any rate—you should know that from today onwards, I will also be defecting from the holy army. In truth, I was also ordered by my sister to attack you… I would have been dispatched had Addamaque failed...” Her brows sloped, her eyes closing. “But my power is not suited to fighting, and so I would have been sent as a sacrificial lamb, detonating a bomb as a last resort were I fatally wounded or captured...”

“Really? That’s horrible...”

“How despicable... To treat one’s own flesh and blood as a disposable pawn...” Kyoshika folded her arms. 

“Indeed... I fear that nothing is beyond or beneath my sister at this point.” I saw her other hand gripping her mask tightly. “I had held out hope that she could be reasoned with, or that a swift end to this war might bring her back to her senses... But I fear that it is far too late for that.”

“Eva...” Murvrum’s tone took on a softer edge. 

“It is all right... I have made my peace. My sister ceased to be my kin the moment she took our brother’s life.” She finally relaxed, with an air of finality. “I should have accepted it long ago... But perhaps I am like you, Takumi, and I want to believe in the sincerity of others...”

“Yeah... I guess I understand that.” I was kind of surprised to hear her say that about me... I felt like... If her other self were able to communicate with her through me, she wouldn’t have a favorable outlook of me at all...

“Well.” Her gentle smile returned. “At any rate—please confer with the rest of your allies, and I will relay what we have spoken of today to our leader. But... If I can speak frankly, it is my sincerest wish that you will stand with us.” She actually bowed. “Our leader wishes only for peace, as you do.”

“Thank you—that’s more than I could ever ask for.” I bowed as well. I was so relieved, I was almost shaking.

“I must return to headquarters, as well.” Murvrum finally fit his mask back over his head. “I will do my utmost to flush out those opposed to V’ehxness, and get them to defect while they still can. When the day comes for us to make our stand—I hope that you will be standing alongside the Resistance so I may join you on the battlefield.” 

“Thank you, Murvrum. I hope that day will come, as well.”

He locked his hands behind his back. “You should know that Addamaque and Eva were the last heroes V’ehxness planned to deploy on their own—I will do my utmost to break the chain of command to weaken her forces from within, but she plans to gather the remaining heroes and take the field herself in all-out attack.”

My stomach sank. “All-out attack?” 

“Yes—the Supreme Commander has been gathering information and sending those she deems ‘expendable’ to gauge your strength. Once she is sufficiently prepared, she plans to crush your defenses and take back the Second Coming in one fell swoop.” I was hoping they wouldn’t bring up Shion—but I guess this was inevitable. “I gave enough information from our encounter to satisfy V’ehxness during her interrogation—but I did not repeat your words—‘The Second Coming is with us.’” Murvrum’s gaze sharpened—I could tell even behind his mask. “Can I take your word that you do not intend to use the Second Coming as a weapon?”

I looked between Eva and Murvrum’s faces. “You have my word—who you call ‘the Second Coming’ is not a weapon to us, but an important ally. He has chosen to pursue peace of his own free will. None of us have any desire to force him to fight—in fact, we consider him one of us.”

Eva and Murvrum looked at one another, the shock evident in their faces.

Even Kyoshika looked taken aback. “Sir Takumi... By ‘the Second Coming’, do you mean...?”

“Yes.” I smiled at her, then Eva. “If your group wishes to forge an alliance with us on the path to lasting peace... then you can meet him and ask him for yourself.”

A swirl of emotions went across Eva’s face—surprise, then relief, then warmth. “Yes... Our leader would love nothing more.”

Murvrum’s face was hidden by his mask. “I see… That is quite heartening to hear.” His body language relaxed, but he locked up again just as fast. “Incidentally... We’ve received reports from our northern outpost that the Paragon of Devotion, Parmith, has holed herself up and refuses to see anyone... And the Paragon of Virtue, Pakron, never returned from battle.”

Well, I couldn’t keep running away from it forever...

“Sir Takumi.” Kyoshika stepped forward. “Please, allow me.” She placed her hand on the Holy Jumonji Sword. “I participated in the battle against Parmith, when she ambushed our group in the desert.” She looked right at Murvrum, though his eyes weren’t visible behind the red eyeshields of his mask. “At that time, Sir Takumi wished to avoid bloodshed at any cost—even granting mercy to a defeated enemy begging for death.”

“—I didn’t understand your ways.” I couldn’t help but blurt it out. “Or—I guess, I didn’t care...” I found myself clenching my nails into my palms. “... I thought that even suffering the humiliation of being spared by your enemy was better than being dead. I cut her mask in half, telling her to never come after us again, and live for herself from now on... I didn’t think about how shameful that must’ve been for her.”

Kyoshika smiled at me. “Though Sir Takumi is strong, he has the heart of a lover, not a fighter.” Well... I don’t know if I’d put it that way... “As one who has taken the lives of others upon the battlefield, I advised our leader that there is mercy in granting a warrior their proper death... And so—Lady Pakron fought valiantly, and was granted a warrior’s death upon her defeat.” She bowed. “If retribution must be paid for this deed, then may it fall on my shoulders.”

“No, Kyoshika—it was my decision, in the end.” I bowed to them, too. “I’m sorry... I couldn’t control my power, and I ended up fatally injuring her... She was still trying to fight back until the end, she said she’d never accept defeat... At that point, I knew she was going to die, so I granted her a warrior’s death without any malice. I thought that was the most merciful thing I could do...” I knew I was rambling, but I couldn’t stop—

“You need not explain yourself.” Murvrum’s voice was firm, but not unkind, almost like a parent. “All warriors accept their death upon stepping onto the battlefield... A priestess as devoted as Pakron would rather have her soul burned to oblivion than suffer the ‘vile invaders’ to ravage the planet. She died fighting to fulfill her life’s purpose.”

“... I see.” I didn’t even know she was a priestess... I suppose that makes sense. “Then... If your people hold special burial rites, then please—take her with you.” I lifted my head. “We gave her a burial according to our own customs, with the intention of releasing her to any of her allies who wanted to claim her.”

“Ah—” Eva clasped her hand to her mouth. “Where is she buried?”

I realized I actually didn’t know... “Kyoshika?”

“Follow me, Lady Eva—we buried Lady Pakron under this oak tree.”

I tried to look through the flames for Eito’s silhouette... He silently followed along after us from the other side. Even though our peace talks had been successful, he still hadn’t put away his scythe...

Kyoshika led us to the base of a twisty oak tree on this side of the wall, marked by a simple gravestone from the Gift-O-Matic. “Her body was placed in a casket, so decay should be minimal... We debated whether the correct form of burial was to return her body to the earth...” Kyoshika trailed off.

“I see...” Eva dropped to her knees, starting to push aside the loose dirt with her hands. “Thank you for your consideration... Murvrum, will you give me a hand, please?”

“—certainly.” He took a knee in the dirt.

“—here.” I unsheathed my blade, using the hilt to dig in the hard earth. Kyoshika would probably be horrified to see me using my blade in such a way... Well, then again, maybe not.

I heard a muffled sigh from somewhere behind me. “I thought this might happen. Just wait there a moment, Takumi.” I saw Eito’s silhouette shift behind the wall of flame. “May I come through?”

“Go ahead.” I guess there wasn’t a point concealing the fire extinguishers anymore.

Eito sprayed a hole in the flames, stepping through. He was holding… a shovel. “I had this prepared just in case—though I was only able to find one.”

I could feel my brows slope in relief. “Thanks...” When did he do that, anyway? Why would he even think of it?

百

Murvrum held the casket over his shoulder with one arm... That power of theirs is no joke. “I will ensure that Pakron receives the proper burial rites at the temple in the capital.”

“Thank you, Murvrum.” Eva’s hands were clasped in prayer. “I know that it’s a long shot... But perhaps in some small way, my sister’s heart will be swayed after seeing the care our enemies put into laying one of our heroes’ bodies to rest...”

“I hope that you are right, Eva...” 

I couldn’t help but bow again. “I’m sorry to make you dig up her grave... Hopefully she will be the last one to lose their life to this conflict.”

“I sincerely wish for the same, Takumi.” Eva looked absorbed in silent prayer.

Kyoshika bowed her head again. “It was a pleasure making your acquaintance, Lady Eva, Sir Murvrum—may our first steps toward understanding pave the way for generations of peace to come.”

“Hm—you are wise beyond your years, Lady Kyoshika. Ah—I did it again.” Eva laughed quietly—it was the first time I heard her sincere laughter. “We are fortunate that Murvrum was the first of our heroes to make contact with you—I fear that your appeal for peace would have fallen on deaf ears were it Addamaque, or God of the planet forbid, Quenzelle...”

Oh man, I forgot all about Quenzelle—“Is he all right?” I bit my lip. “We had to fight him off when he attacked us near the coast.”

Eva turned up her nose. “If I may be frank, I couldn’t care less.”

Murvrum’s nose also wrinkled, like he smelled something rotten. “As loathe as I am to disparage one of our comrades... I also find the Paragon of Repulsion deserving of his namesake.” Wow... I guess even being chosen by the God of the planet wasn’t enough to override being a huge creep...

I heard light laughter from behind me. “Well, then—I suppose I don’t need to apologize for tearing him asunder.” Eito stepped up to stand next to me. “Do you mind if I say my piece before our guests take their leave, Takumi?”

I peered up at him, not able to suppress my stink-eye all the way. “What is it?”

“Haha—well, it’s nothing bad!” He winked, he actually winked.

“Haah... Go ahead.” Please be something normal, please be something normal...

“Thank you, Leader.” “Leader”? Since when does he call me that... “Ah—I’ve neglected to introduce myself. My name is Eito Aotsuki.” I was surprised he even bothered, but not surprised that he didn’t move to shake their hands... “You might say that I’m Takumi’s right-hand man!” Who says that?! “But—I’m also something of a traitor.” What?!

“Oh, my—but Sir Eito...”

“Please, let me finish, Kyoshika.” Eito smiled patiently. “For the sake of brevity, let’s just say that I was born differently from everyone here, so being somewhat of a ‘malcontent’ is just in my nature.” He cheerfully pointed up to the satellite in the sky. “You see—my plan was to sabotage the mission, kill everyone I could, and then make my way up to that star to kill everyone there, as well!” Please have a point with this... “Well... Even knowing that, our leader felt very much like yours—that taking revenge only leads to a foolish and neverending cycle of hatred. Apparently even someone like me has some value, and was worth saving.” He pushed up his glasses. “That may not mean much to you, but... I just wanted it to be known that when it comes to ‘love and peace’—Takumi isn’t just all talk. Haha...” He laughed awkwardly, as if the crushing embarrassment and just how bad of an idea that was to say finally caught up to him...

“Hehe...” Eva laughed into her hand. “I see—I think I understand.” She smiled at me. “I believe it will be all right to put my faith in you and your comrades, Takumi—may we all forge the path to peace together.” 

Even with his mask on, I could tell that Murvrum didn’t know how to process what he just heard—but Eva’s words seemed to resonate with him. “—yes, I’m more confident after meeting with you once again, that the Resistance leader will be safe in your care.”

“Hehe—and I will be there, too.” Eva turned to us again, pushing her hair behind her ear. “I should be able to make the journey in three days’ time—if something goes wrong or we need your help, look for Murvrum flying in the eastern sky.”

“If it’s an immediate emergency, I will fly through that wall of flame myself.” His tone carried a deadly seriousness. “I may not be able to play both sides of the fence for long—but I will make an effort to contact you every fifteen days at minimum.” He shifted the casket on his shoulder. “Eva—if you do not hear from me in that span of time, then assume that I’m dead.”

“... I understand. Let us pray it does not come to that.” She clasped her hands in silent prayer. “Oh, yes—Takumi?” She gave me a mellow smile. “I could not help but overhear just before you came to greet us—will you show me this ‘love and peace’ charm?” Oh my God—“I would like to show my daughter when I return, hehe...” Daughter?!

“Oh, my—Lady Eva, congratulations! You look so young for a mother.”

“Hehe—thank you.”

Wait—my brain could only process one thing at a time—

“Certainly—the ‘love and peace’ charm goes like this...” Eito went in for the kill—

百

“... I can’t believe you did that in front of the peace emissaries.”

“Haha—Takumi, I’m surprised to hear you say such a thing!” Eito was practically floating along on cloud nine. “I haven’t done anything out of character, have I?”

“... I guess not, that’s the problem.”

“Hahaha!” Kyoshika laughed heartily. “We should all go around giving each other the ‘love and peace’ charm, to celebrate our successful alliance!”

“Aha... Well, Takumi’s all full up, so any more will just cancel it out...”

“That’s not how it works...”

“I see!” Kyoshika gave a “love and peace charm” to the Holy Jumonji Sword... “Mwah! I suppose this is what it means to ‘mark one’s territory’—after all, Sir Murvrum was quite unexpectedly handsome!” Kyoshika... “Ah—but I’m curious whether Futurans look any different to you than humans, Sir Eito!”

“Hahaha... ‘unexpectedly handsome’... I see. Would you agree with that assessment, Takumi?” His smile was terrifying...

百

“Hooray!” Sirei threw confetti everywhere. “Good job putting the fear in the hearts of those lily-livered Futurans, Sumino!” He blew a little party favor. “Once they surrender without a fight, humanity can settle down on the planet lickety-split!”

I rolled my eyes. So that’s how robot Sirei had to spin it to keep it within the parameters of his programming... “I’m just glad they were willing to listen to me.” I took my seat at the cafeteria table. “Ha... It’s just hitting me what a huge step this was. Nothing like this even seemed possible in my other timelines...”

“I’m relieved, too.” Tsubasa sat across from me. “Whew! My heart felt like it was in my throat the whole time we were watching...”

“Oh, that’s right—how well could you hear our conversation?”

“Clear as day—thanks to the communication function in your Class Armor, Sumino!” Sirei winked. “Those fancy duds aren’t just for show—you can do all sorts of handy stuff, I’m not even mad that you used your sword to dig up a grave!”

“I guess that makes sense...” I clasped my hands on the table, taking a steadying inhale. “Whew... Well, now that that's over, it's as good a time as any for a group discussion. I want to hear everyone’s opinion one final time before we meet with the Resistance leader.” I looked between each face at the table. “Oh—Shion, can you join us, too?”

His flames manifested next to the table, but his glow was noticeably weaker. “I’m here... Although Sirei asked that I strengthen the wall for the rest of today and tonight, so I won’t be able to stay long...”

“That’s fine.” I smiled at him. “I just want to hear your opinion, too.”

His flames were wavering, but I could still see his expression clear as day. “Well, that’s easy for me to answer—I see no reason why we shouldn’t join with the Resistance.” He smiled gently. “I also believe in Mr. Murvrum and Miss Eva’s sincerity—I couldn’t feel any malicious intentions from either of them during your discussion.”

“You couldn’t ‘feel’ anything?” Gaku was tearing his hair out. “And we’re just supposed to make a decision based on that?” He was sweating buckets. 

“Gaku?”

“Hrrngh—you guys were talking like we already agreed to join ‘em... We can’t afford to make such a huge decision based on ‘feelings’, okay?!” He shot daggers at Eito. “No offense, Takumi—but you couldn’t ‘feel’ that this guy was gonna stab you in the back the first time, right?! So what good is that?!”

“Hey, man—”

“It’s fine.” I tried to keep my tone even, although Gaku’s outburst did surprise me. “Like I said—I want to hear everyone’s opinion.”

“Rrrgh—what’s the point?!” Gaku gripped his frayed hat, his head in his hands. “Seriously—what’s the point of even asking us? We already know what you’re gonna do, Takumi!” The table got quiet. “Seriously! What if I said, ‘I don’t care what happens to the planet, fire the missiles for all I care—I just want my brothers and sisters to have a place to live!’ What would you do?!” He was practically in tears now. “Lock me up like this guy? Kick me out? Kill me?! What?!”

“... Are you seriously asking that?”

He wrenched his hair. “No...” His forehead hit the table. “I’m just saying... Everything’s moving too quickly. It’s impossible to make a decision—how am I supposed to say what we should do? What if something goes wrong, what if that crazy V’ehxness lady builds her bomb and blows up the TRC because we ganged up on her with the Resistance?” He wiped his eye. “It’s impossible to know what the right thing is. We can’t just go back in time if something goes wrong, like you...”

“I can’t just do that willy-nilly, either—and I have no intention of abandoning you all here if ‘something goes wrong.’” I was trying to keep my cool, even though the casualness of what he just suggested offended me to my core. “I never even became aware of a Resistance in either timeline—this is uncharted territory for me, too, but I’m still willing to move forward with my decision.”

“I must agree with Gaku’s sentiment.” Hiruko folded her arms. “We can debate the finer points all day, but it’s obvious that you’ve already made up your mind, Takumi.” She looked at me sharply, but not reproachfully. “I appreciate that you want our decisions to be made democratically—but if you’re going to railroad us with your own decision anyway, and if there’s no real threat for dissenters—then what you really want is to just have your own opinion echoed back to you.”

“I...” I didn’t have anything I could say to refute that. “I guess... You’re right.” I closed my eyes. “I just really wanted to affirm that you’re all with me... That you don’t want to destroy this planet, either.” It’s like... I was desperate to recreate the team we all were before. I thought I had made peace with the fact that they were all different people... but I guess I couldn’t escape my own biases.

“Takumi.” Hiruko’s tone was just a bit softer. “I’m not trying to reproach you... But you need to be able to make a firm decision as our leader, even if our group is split down the middle. Even if that means locking Gaku in the cage or throwing him out to the wolves.”

“Gah!! I knew it!!”

I almost laughed. “Gaku... I’m not going to do that.” I centered myself. “I see what you’re both saying... I guess—I just didn’t want to hand down my decisions with an iron fist. I want to make sure this is what you all want, so I don’t have any regrets, either...”

I heard Eito scoff next to me. “What they’re trying to say, Takumi—is that they’re too cowardly or lack the critical thinking skills to make a decision themselves, and they’d rather just pin it all on you.”

“Hey, fucker—” Takemaru shot off the bench. 

“Am I wrong?” Eito pushed up his glasses. “None of you were eager to speak up this morning—you all used the excuse that Takumi was ‘too tired’ and pushed it off. You’re too paralyzed to make a decision, but I’m sure the second one little thing doesn’t go according to plan, you’ll be the first to blame Takumi and say, ‘I knew it was a bad idea!’ to make yourselves feel better.”

No one had anything to say to that, not even Takemaru.

“Hehe... Well, as indelicate as your wording is—I suppose the core of what you’re saying is not wrong.” Yugamu grinned. “Takumi—the decisions you have to make as our leader are often paralyzing, and there are no easy answers. But, we’ve all chosen to place our trust in your judgment.”

“Haah...” Takemaru was scratching his hair. “I mean—it’s like Hiruko said, I ‘preciate that you wanna ask us our opinion and all—but we trust what you think is the right thing to do. And if we need to have a discussion ‘bout it, we will. Is that fair enough?”

Hiruko pushed up her glasses. “I believe the correct course of action at this stage is obvious—so I’d like to hear if anyone has a compelling reason to not join with the Resistance.”

Eito folded his arms. “If the representatives’ claims are true, that the Resistance will not only actively oppose V’ehxness, but is also willing to forgive humanity for starting this war and allow them to share the planet... Then I see no reason why we shouldn’t join with them.” His expression was stony. “My main objection would be whether or not they mean what they say—they may simply view this as an alliance of convenience to oppose their dictator, and then quash any attempt at negotiation afterwards.”

“But... if the Resistance is mostly made up of civilians and militia, then what threat would they pose to us? And besides V’ehxness herself, and maybe Dahl’xia, none of their forces pose a threat to the satellite... If they did, they would have attacked it a long time ago.”

“That’s what you believe, Takumi... But we still don’t know what these people are fully capable of.” He turned his icy gaze on me. “They may want to send their leader in here to spy on our technology, and glean all they can about Shion’s power to build their own Undying Flame bomb…”

“I guess that’s possible... But if we keep going down the rabbit hole of what’s ‘possible’, it’ll never end.” I rolled my eyes. “It’s ‘possible’ that I’m not actually from the future, and just some hippie conscientious objector sent to sabotage the mission.”

“No—that’s quite impossible.” Shion’s voice was firm. “I trust you, Takumi—even if I didn’t hear it directly from my other self.”

“Well... Thank you for that, Shion.”

Eito had a small smirk. “Well—that’s just my opinion as the resident skeptic. I believe all avenues are worth considering, as unlikely as they may be.”

Takemaru rapped his knuckles on the table in annoyance. “Not like you’re wrong when you say shit like that, Stringbean—you just don’t gotta be such an asshole about it.”

“Well—someone has to stay cynical, in order to ground all of you sappy suckers.”

“Haah...” I knew what he was trying to say, even if he was being almost as roundabout as First Eito. “I appreciate your perspective—I know I can always count on you to be cynical.”

He winked. “Well they are all fair questions, aren’t they?” Ugh...

“They are...”

“Sir Takumi.” Kyoshika’s serious voice cut across the table. “I also do not have any objections to joining hands with the Resistance—I’m quite looking forward to meeting their leader.”

“—me, too!” Of all people, Kako piped up next. “Miss Eva was so mature... And, um—Mr. Murvrum is so brave for playing a double-agent and spying on their Supreme Commander!” She had stars in her eyes...

Ima bit his tongue, for once. “Well... If making peace with the people of this planet is what will keep my sister safe—then so be it.” He gave a thumbs-up. “To be honest, I couldn’t care less what happens to anyone up on that satellite—no one ever offered us a helping hand when my sister and I were struggling through hell.”

“Ima...”

He flipped his silky hair off his shoulder. “But, I would be quite the hypocrite to leave a bunch of helpless people to slowly starve on a big hunk of metal floating in the sky. That would only make my sister sad, so I suppose we should fight for their well-being, also.”

“Oh, Ima!” She crashed into him in a hug, with happy tears in her eyes.

He sighed loudly. “You just had better not be steering us into a trap, Mr. Sumino!” He pat Kako’s arm. “How strong is this intuition of yours exactly, Mr. Shion?”

“Well...” Shion settled down into the bench next to me. “It’s more like I can feel people’s intentions through their hemoanima... It’s difficult to describe.” He smiled. “But that’s how I know that Eito doesn’t plan to betray us anymore.”

“Oh, really? That’s news to me...”

“Haha—I apologize, Takumi. I just thought it was so obvious that it wasn’t even worth mentioning.” Geez... Guess I walked right into that one.

“Well—you have my support, Takumi.” Nozomi smiled gently. “I don’t see a downside to joining hands with the Resistance, either—their leader seems very wise, if she’s willing to put aside any lingering hatred that anyone else would reasonably have, for the people who attacked them...”

“I’m with you all the way, girl!” Moko winked. “We all just did a massive heel-turn—and we didn’t even know we were the heels! Whoa—this kind of drama is unprecedented!” She gave a big flex with both arms. “We just turned this deathmatch into a peace match, brother!”

“Ehehe... A peace match.” Yugamu’s eye closed. “Well, you don’t need me to tell you that I support you, Takumi. But for everyone else’s benefit, I’m also in favor of this alliance.” He rubbed his chin. “Even in the short term, we’ll need all the help we can get for that all-out attack.”

“Right... It’s no wonder V’ehxness has been laying low, then.”

“Tch...” Takemaru grit his teeth. “So that crazy chick you told us about’s just been bidin’ her time... Guess she finally decided to take us seriously.” He pounded his fist on the table. “Well—let’s give ‘er hell. Bet she won’t expect her own Commanders to turn against her bitch ass.”

“Ha... Well, I wonder if she’s self-aware at all about how unpopular she is... Murvrum said that she imprisoned the former Supreme Commander to avoid a mutiny—they might’ve even had civil war on their hands.”

“Now that’s a capital idea!” Sirei winked. “Provoke the Futurans into civil war, and they’ll be too busy fighting amongst themselves to pay you any mind. Divide and conquer, troops!”

“I’d rather avoid unnecessary conflict and casualties, even within the Futuran forces...”

Sirei pouted, puffing his cheeks. “Aww, you’re no fun, Sumino!” Geez... I hope that was just AI Sirei talking.

“Hey, wait—none of this is against your mission directive?”

Sirei picked his non-existent nose. “If it was, I would’ve blown you all sky-high by now!” He gave a thumbs-up, thankfully his fingers were clean... “You heard it straight from the Will of Humanity yourself! Most folks don’t want to kill off all life on the planet just to live here—so holding hands and making love, not war, like all those dirty hippies at Stockwood sounds like the best avenue for humans to survive and thrive!” He sparkled. “Ohoho—maybe we’ll even get our first Human-Futuran babies in the not-so-distant future!” He was holding a rose… “That Murvrum was one handsome fella, am I right, ladies? And Miss Eva was certainly easy on the eyes, hoo-wee!” 

“Yeah, she was...” Shouma just answered automatically. “Wah! D-don’t worry everyone—I’ll sterilize myself before my rotten DNA has any chance to poison the gene pool!”

“Shouma...” I decided to just let it go. “Does that mean you’re in favor of joining with the Futurans?”

“W-well...” He fidgeted his fingers. “I don’t see a reason not to... I’d like it if we could all live in peace. If the planet will suffer a worm like me wriggling around on it...”

“Shouma...” Tsubasa sighed. “You heard Eva—the planet is wise beyond our understanding, so I’m sure it’s fine.” She smiled at me. “Of course I’m with you all the way, Takumi—I’m tired of fighting.” She looked green around the gills for just a second, then it passed. “I just hope we can hold out against V’ehxness until then... I want everyone in the Tokyo Residential Complex to be able to feel real earth, and see the sky for the first time...”

“Hrrnngghhh...” I’m surprised Gaku has any hair left with how much he’s pulling out... “Damnit... I better get a sweet payout from all this, so I can build my brothers and sisters a huge house right on the beach!!”

I smiled. “We can definitely look into that.” Sorry, Gaku... If I could make all your siblings real for you, I would. If it’s any consolation, you do have fifteen brothers and sisters right here...

Hiruko folded her arms. “At this stage, we might as well try the pacifist approach. It couldn’t end any worse than things did in your timeline.”

“Kyohoho—you just totally jinxed it, Mistress Hiruko!”

Rather than telling “doggie” to pipe down, Hiruko just let it go. “It’s true that I enjoy the rush of combat—but if it’s avoidable, even I’m not in favor of wiping out an entire intelligent species.” She turned her sharp gaze on me before I could respond. “If we actually manage to get some Commanders on our side, and the people of this planet put their money where their mouth is—then it’s worth entertaining this notion of peace you want to badly, Takumi.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks, Hiruko... It’s encouraging to hear you say that.” I turned to Darumi next.

“What, me?” She pointed at her own baffled face. “Uhh... I guess I don’t really care.” She yawned. “If it means that I don’t have to go back to my piece of trash dad, then I’ll make love and peace down on the planet... Ooh, but you better build me a pretty sweet reinforced basement in Gaku’s mansion!” She shot finger-guns at me.

“Hey, who invited you?!”

The only person who hadn’t spoken up was Kurara... I can only assume she and Nozomi weren’t able to make up and she was still stewing about that, but... That was a personal matter, this was something else entirely...

“... Hmph.” She folded her arms tightly. “Well—I can’t very well have the mighty Oosuzuki Empire rot away in some fishbowl, when there’s an entire lush planet on which to spread our influence.” Her mask grinned in satisfaction. “The Futurans shall know the name Oosuzuki far and wide—and it will be Kurara Oosuzuki who will go down in our family’s storied history as the first ambassador.” Whew—well, that was a relief. It was a very “Kurara” answer—but an answer nonetheless.

“Good show, old boy!” Nigou hopped up on the cafeteria table. “Then it’s unanimous—love and peace!” He sparkled.

“Damnit, Nigou!” Sirei huffed. “You were just hoping this would happen the whole time!”

“Ohoho—I’m only looking out for humanity’s best interest, Sir!” It was finally sinking in, for real... If everyone’s on board, then it’s really happening, right? Peace isn’t just some impossible, starry-eyed dream?

Yugamu smiled broadly at me. “Now then—I could use a little extra ‘love and peace’ in my life, couldn’t we all?”

I could feel Eito’s frightening energy at Yugamu’s absurd suggestion... “Don’t ask me—unless you want your scalp to get scythed off...” 

“Oh, my... Then I suppose I’ll just have to ask someone else, hehehe...”

Nigou hopped back off the table. “I’d say this calls for a celebration—if you would, Mr. Maruko!”

At some point, Gaku had slipped away—right on cue, he started wheeling in this rectangular machine. “Hoo... I got the USB... all hooked up to the—to the projector! So—we can just point it at the wall! Whew...”

“Hooray!” Nigou laughed into his stubby little hands. “The Honorable Sirei hasn’t indulged in karaoke since beginning his sobriety—perhaps he’ll grace us with the special treat of his passionate yet angelic voice!” Good Lord—despite myself, I’m actually curious to see that...

Sirei grumbled in the corner, his cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk’s. “Right when I need a drink, these damn pacifists got my balls in a salad shooter...”

百

“Dame da ne! Dame yo, dame na no yo...~ (I’m such a mess! It’s useless, absolutely useless...)” Nigou was belting his little heart out, his eyes scrunched to arrows. “Anta ga suki de, suki sugite...!~ (I’m still in love with you, so much I can’t stand it...!)”

“Hrk—” Takemaru was bawling his eyes out, biting his lip so hard I was afraid he’d draw blood. “Dore dake, tsuyoi osake demo...~ (No matter how stiff this drink is...)” He was even singing along... Why do I feel like I’ve heard this song before? I can’t even think of where, though...

“Yugamanai... omoide...~ (The memories still won’t fade...)” Little tears pooled in the corner of Nigou’s eyes... “... baka mitai...~ (I’ve been a fool...)”

百

“You can kiss a hundred boys in bars—shoot another shot, try to stop the feeling!~”

A few of the girls were shout-singing along with Tsubasa, pumping their fists in the air to the rhythm... Everyone except for Hiruko and Kurara, who looked like they’d rather be anywhere else. Even Kako was being swept up in their energy with sparkling eyes, even though it was clear she didn’t know the song. Maybe I was just reading into it too much, but weren’t these lyrics kinda...

“Oh, my...” Yugamu leaned his chin in his hands like he was gossiping at a sleepover. “Do you think Tsubasa’s trying to tell us something? Or it’s just another tragic case of comp-het naïveté? Ehehe...”

“You can say it’s just the way you are—make a new excuse, ‘nother stupid reason!~”

“Honestly... I’m not really sure...” Maybe my Takemaru-Tsubasa ship was dead in the water before it even stood a chance... But then again, when one door closes, another opens...

“You’d have to stop the world just to stop the feeling!~” I was trying to peep if she was looking at anyone in particular while she was singing, but she was just joyfully belting out with her eyes closed, not even needing to look at the lyrics...

百

“We gotta hold on to what we got!! Doesn’t make a diff’rence if we make it or not!!~” Takemaru roared into the mic—he wasn’t the best singer, but he sure put his whole heart into it. “We got each other, and that’s a lot, for love~ Let’s give it a shot!!” He posed with his boot on the stool. “Whooaaa, we’re halfway there!!~” Yugamu and Moko were shout-singing along—I guess I might as well, too, Takemaru’s energy was infectious—“Whooa-oh!! Lizard on a chair!!~” What?! “Take my hand, and I’ll break it, I swear!!~”

“Those are really the words?!”

“Hehe—well, of course, Takumi.” Yugamu snickered. “Why would I make up such a thing?”

“Liiizard on a chaaaiirrr!!~”

百

“Every time, goodbye to yesterday~ Greeted by today~” Why did it feel like Nozomi kept looking at me while she sang... “Smiling at tomorrow~ No one really belongs~”

“Whoa-ho—that’s a deep cut, girl!” Moko sipped her drink. “That machine really has everything, even the school BGM!”

“Do you recognize this song, Moko?”

“Of course, Takumi!” She swirled the paper umbrella around her fruity drink. “It’s from the True Goddess Reincarnation sister series, Thou Art I! Specifically TAI III Portable—oh, but only the version where you play as a girl!”

“Huh, I see...” I saw Eito push up his glasses in my peripheral. “What—are you familiar with those games, Eito?” That was kind of surprising, considering he was such a “serious student” who didn’t even listen to music in his free time...

“Aha...” He laughed a bit. “Well, during my prolonged hospitalization, a nurse was kind enough to give me her nephew’s old game consoles with some used games... I’m sure you won’t be surprised that a very bored, megalomaniacal person such as myself was quite drawn to the idea of destroying the world and recreating it in my own image!” He had that dark shadow under his eyes again... “That’s what you do in True Goddess Reincarnation III: Nocturne of Shadow... You can remake the world any way you want, the game doesn’t punish you for choosing to selfishly create your own isolated universe just for yourself, or forging a violent meritocracy in which the weak don’t deserve to live...”

“Wow...” That was... well, it was very telling, but unsurprising.

Moko speared her pineapple slice, looking like she was going to regret asking. “So... Which world did you choose to make, Eito?”

He smiled brightly. “Well, I wanted a challenge, so I completed the Hell Labyrinth and proved myself worthy to Lucifer to achieve the True Demon ending, of course!” Uhh...

“Whoa!” Moko slapped her cheek. “So you wanted to free every world from the cycle of death and rebirth once and for all?!” She laughed, almost sounding relieved. “Wow—I didn’t realize you were such a nice guy, Eito!”

He pushed up his glasses, looking uncomfortable.

“Hehe—don’t let the name ‘True Demon ending’ fool you, Takumi!” She slapped my back. “The fallen angel Lucifer isn’t evil in those games—he’s kinda like the ultimate freedom fighter!” She flexed her bicep. “He just wants to free himself and the rest of the world from the shackles of the self-serving creator god—and in that ending, you finally break the cycle so the world won’t arbitrarily get reset anymore!”

I peered up at Eito. “Is that true?”

He hid his hands in his jacket pockets. “I suppose that’s one interpretation.”

“Haah...” I laid my head on his shoulder. Why did I find it cute that he was so embarrassed that his attempt at looking edgy totally backfired on him? “So stubborn...”

I heard him sigh. “Well... It’s not as if I was thinking so deeply about it. I just read online that that was the hardest ending to achieve, so...” He finally let his head relax on top of mine. “I figured if I was going to waste my time playing a video game, I may as well go all the way with it.”

“I’m sure that’s it...”

“Hehe...” He laughed a little more genuinely. “Well—Moko’s interpretation is certainly interesting, isn’t it?” He nuzzled into me a bit. “‘Breaking the cycle’... that’s something you can relate to, isn’t it, Takumi?”

I thought I felt Hiruko’s sharp gaze on me—but she turned away when I looked at her.

“Each time, we hope to stay around~ I know how you feel...~” Nozomi’s voice was light and breezy, like this cute indie rock song... “Beyond your words...~”

“You go, Nozomi! Whoo-hoo—I’m getting all pumped for my turn next, girl!”

百

“My heart is a furnace!! Hot as hell in my world of conflict!!~” Moko’s singing was almost as intense as Takemaru’s. “One goal is what keeps me goiiing!!~” Poor Shouma was shrinking back at the visible soundwaves blasting out of the speaker. “Take back what I lost to the bosses of greed and fear, yeeaah!!~”

Eito pushed up his glasses. “Sirei wasn’t exaggerating about ‘enduring the unendurable’ and ‘suffering the insufferable’...”

“Do you want to take a break outside?”

He smiled down at me, but the bags under his eyes were evident... He probably didn’t get any sleep last night, either. “If I can push through Hell to prove myself to Lucifer, Takumi—I can tough it out for some ear-splitting karaoke.”

“Geez...” I laid my head on his shoulder again. Honestly, I was fine watching, I hope they don’t try to pressure me to sing, too... It was making me nervous just thinking about it.

I felt a pleasant warmth before I saw the flames—Shion appeared again in the middle of the cafeteria. “Haha... It looks like you’re all having fun, I could feel your energy in my pod.” His eyes closed to crescents.

I smiled at him. “I’m glad you could join us again—do you know any songs, Shion?”

“Me?” His eyes went wide. “Oh, well... I suppose I do, but you might consider them ‘old man songs’ that Mr. Sirei likes...”

“I see... What, like the Silver Beetles or Johnny Money?”

“Haha... Something like that. Thank you for inviting me, but I’m content just to watch, Takumi.” To my surprise, he floated down to Eito’s other side instead of trying to squeeze in next to me. “I don’t think my voice would be able to be picked up by the microphone, anyway... Remember, I’m communicating directly with your hemoanima.”

“Oh, right... Well—you can still sing for fun! We can always turn the music down so it doesn’t drown you out...”

He smiled. “I’ll consider it... Thank you.”

Eito sighed. “If you do decide to sing, Shion—yours would be the only voice that doesn’t make me want to drive an icepick into my ear.”

“Oh, really?” He looked like he was seriously considering it. “Hmm...”

“An oasis in a singed land—remind us what we’re here for!!” Moko roared into the mic. “Creating new liiife—creating rivers in the deeeseeert!!~”

百

“Kiss me...~ Beneath the milky twilight...~” Kako was still a bit nervous, her voice was almost too soft for the mic to pick up—but the other girls were waving their arms to encourage her, as if they were holding lighters at a concert. “Lead me... out on the moonlit floor~”

Ima was glaring daggers at the unofficial “boys table”...

“Hey, what’s with that look?!” Gaku was practically in tears. “Gah—whoever that guy’s sister looks at while she’s singing is gonna end up stabbed, I just know it!!” Oh, man—Gaku might not be reading too much into things this time...

“Lay off it, Gaku.” Takemaru glared sharply. “She’s just singin’ a sweet, innocent song—and you too, ‘big bro’.” He folded his arms, leveling his no-nonsense stare at Ima. “Look how happy she is gettin’ to be one of the girls—gotta let the chickadee leave the nest sometime, man.”

Ima sprawled his arms out on the table miserably... “That’s easy for you to say, you delinquent scum... You’ve probably never had anyone precious to you in your entire life...” It didn’t sound like his heart was even in that biting insult... maybe framing it as Kako finally feeling like “one of the girls” took the wind right out of his sails... That was a pretty irrational thing to be jealous over, even for him.

“Psh—hey, I don’t like it when scummy guys go sniffin’ around my Mom’s bar and botherin’ her—but it’d be fuckin’ weird if I tried to stop her from goin’ on dates, or hangin’ out with her girlfriends—you know what I’m sayin’, man?”

“Heugh...” Ima just groaned dejectedly, his face pressed into the table. Takemaru kind of had him there...

“Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance, silver moon sparkling...~” Her eyes flicked up, just for a micro-second. “... So kiss me~” Wah—who did she look at?! I couldn’t quite tell—it wasn’t me, and there’s no way it was Eito, either—but, the only other person on our side of the table was Shion...

百

Darumi whispered harshly into the microphone, staring unblinking at the monitor like the little girl in that house possession movie. “Yasashii uso de nurikatameta keshiki... dokomade mo tsuzuku nichijou wa... (This scenery painted with a gentle lie... an everyday life that goes on forever...)” Whoa... why did this song give off such an unsettling vibe? “Utsushiyo no miseru rifujin-sa o... (The unfairness reflected in this present world...)”

Goosebumps went up my arms. Is the whole song going to be like this?

“Kimi e no ai no kanjou~ Soredake de kono mi wa ugoku~ (This feeling of love for you, is the only reason my body moves...)” Her voice suddenly took on a deeper edge, singing almost robotically, dispassionately... “Omae no zouo no kanjou~ (Your feelings of hatred...)” Darumi was still staring wide-eyed at the prompter as the words lit up hypnotically. “Soredake de kono mi wa uzuku~ (... is the only reason my body twitches.)”

百

“The real folk blues…” Whoa... Hiruko’s voice was so... “Hontou no... kanashimi ga shitirai dake...~ (I only want to know what true sadness is...)” She sang so soulfully, even though she was staring straight ahead at the prompter without any emotion... “Doro no kawa ni, tsukatta... Jinsei mo waruku wa nai...~ (Sitting here in muddy water, it isn’t such a bad life...)” It was like her whole heart was cloaked in a deep, world-weary sadness—like we were listening to the regrets of a much older woman. “Ichido kiri de... owaru nara~ (As long as it ends after the first time around.)”

She didn’t even wait for the instrumental to fade out, the mic squealed with feedback as she handed it off to Darumi, strolling right out of the cafeteria. Darumi bit her lip, looking after her like she wasn’t sure what to do.

“—Do you want to go with her, Darumi? You’ve already had a turn, it’s okay...”

She touched her lip. “Mistress Hiruko commanded me to ‘leave her alone’ unless she explicitly gave me another order...”

“I see...” I guess she was taking that seriously. Well... She’d probably just brush me off if I went after her, so... I guess Hiruko’s someone who just needs to be alone sometimes.

“Ohh! What’s with that?!” Tsubasa clenched her fists. “That’s not fair—Hiruko can’t just ‘command’ you to be a bad friend and not go check on her!” She pushed up out of her seat. “Darumi! I, um—command you to go check on her!” She firmly pointed her finger.

Darumi hopped up. “Arf!” She ran out of the cafeteria panting...

Tsubasa’s eyes went wide. “Whoa... that actually worked?”

“Ehehe...” Yugamu grinned at her, a worrying glint in his eye. “You might have the makings of a real Queen, Tsubasa—speaking softly, yet carrying a big flog. Ehehehe...”

Her cheeks turned red. “Um... Well, I don’t know about that...”

“Haah?” Takemaru had his boots propped up on the table. “Who’s sayin’ anything about royalty?”

“Hey, you! Shoes off the table!” Tsubasa scolded him like a mom, wagging her finger at him.

“... Yes, ma’am.” He shrunk back like Shouma.

“Wah!” Tsubasa looked down at her palms. “... Maybe I do have the power!”

“I’d be happy to mentor you in my ways, Tsubasa...” Yugamu practically purred. “You have great potential, you just need a little polish...” That look in his eye was disconcerting... “It will certainly be a fun experiment for me—I’ve grown a bit addicted to a certain tough someone’s crying face, ehehehe...” Oh, dear...

百

“I wanna heal... I wanna feel... what I thought was never real...” Shouma was singing so flatly and dispirited, like it was in lower-case... “I wanna let go of the pain I felt so long...” There was a pause in the track where the person who was supposed to duet the rap verse would chime in... “I wanna heal... I wanna feel... like I’m close to something real... I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along... somewhere I belong...” There were mushrooms sprouting all over him... Poor Shouma—he probably meant that completely unironically. Well, it’s okay—we do all have a place where we belong, finally... I just have to make it a reality.

百

“Then suddenly!~ My power and confidence starts swelling up!~ Magically erupt!~” Kyoshika had a bubbly singing voice, her bright smile and awkward dancing bringing everyone’s mood back up. “And it’s all because of kindness that I feel~ From people I don’t even knoooow~!” This song was pretty funky, it was a perfect choice for her. “Then suddenly!~ My intuition and my wisdom grow~ And then I knooow~” She was gripping the mic with one hand, the Holy Jumonji Sword in the other. “That most of all I sense compassion’s real~ Thanks to strangers wherever I goooo!~” She sang up into the mic. “Thank you for waking me uuup!~” She bowed as the song abruptly ended on a high note.

“Whoo!” Nozomi cheered and clapped. “That was so fun, Kyoshika! I’ve never heard that song before!”

Kyoshika finally took a breath, stepping down from the makeshift stage in front of the Ration-O-Matic. “It was the opening theme to one of my favorite supernatural-mystery-delinquent-fighting shounen anime!”

“Oh... I see!”

She handed the mic to Kurara. “It is your turn, Lady Kurara! Haha—I daresay the Holy Jumonji Sword and I have warmed up the crowd quite spectacularly for you!”

Kurara’s arms were folded tightly. “Just skip me... I’m not in the mood to sing.”

The awkward vibe over the table was palpable.

“That’s okay, Kurara!” Moko winked, desperately trying to regain the good vibes. “You can sing next time!”

Nozomi clutched her arm under the table.

Uh oh—the vibes were nosediving fast—someone just go next, pick an upbeat song, please—

“Hehe—looks like it’s finally time for the mood-maker!” Gaku snatched the mic out of Kyoshika’s hands, making his way towards the stage—gah, I can’t let him sing some depressing-ass folk song—

“Uh, Gaku!” My voice squeaked like a fourteen-year-old... “Um—since you set this up, don’t you want your song to be the big finale?”

“Huh...” The little hamster wheel was turning... “Yeah... Yeah, you’re right!” He gave me a big wink. “Gotta save the best for last!” Whew...

Yugamu grinned up at me. “Are you itching to go next, Takumi?”

“Me? Uh... Well, I’d need a minute to think of a song choice...” I swallowed. “What about you?”

“Eheh... My song is more down-beat, so I should go second-to-last before Gaku.” He smiled up at me cruelly. “Why don’t you pick something light-hearted and fun, Takumi? I’ll even help you...”

“Um...” I froze up. What did I know that was light-hearted... gah, you can’t just put me on the spot like that! “Well...”

“Takumi? Do you want me to ask Mr. Sirei for suggestions? I do remember an upbeat song about ‘wanting to hold hands’...”

“There’s no need to over-think, Sir Takumi!” Kyoshika dabbed her brow with a handkerchief. “Just let the real emotion flow through you!” “Real emotion”... A bad idea wormed its way into my head, compelling me to walk towards the karaoke machine...

“Whoo-hoo! Go Takumi!”

I moved as if in a daze, a puppet pulled along by strings... Maybe if I did the English version, I could at least survive until the end... What doesn’t kill me can only make me stronger.

I licked my lips, making my selection in the machine. The nerves were already making my grip on the mic feel weak—just commit to it.

“... What can I do for you?~”

The disco-esque guitar chord echoed from the speaker, mirroring my wavering voice...

“Whoo!” Nozomi cheered. “Good choice, Takumi!”

“Oh, my—I have not heard this ‘bop’ in quite some time, Sir Takumi!”

“Whoa-ho—M, N, Double-K in position—it’s showtime, girls!!”

“Oh, my—am I not included in your little girl group, Moko?”

“Aww—well of course you are, Yugamu! M, N, Double-K, Y—it’s showtime, girls!!”

“Key-mon! I mean—monkey!” [A/N: I can’t even explain this joke, iykyk girls X’D]

This one’s for “the girls, gays, and theys”, as Karua might say... There’s no going back.

“What can I do for you?~” I felt something take over me, my fuzzy consciousness getting sucked away to the Farplane... “I can hear you~”

百

“And though, I know, the world of real emotion has surrounded me~ I won’t give into it!~” The girls plus Yugamu were all dancing in a group, the ones who knew the English version singing along... “Now, I know, that forward is the only way my heart can go...~ I hear your voice calling out to me—‘You’ll never be alone~’”

“What can I do for you?~” The girls were serving as my back-up singers... Well, except Tsubasa, who must not know the song—but she was vibing. Ah—I caught Takemaru tapping his fingers on the table.

“I can hear you~” 

Finally... it was over. I could hear cheers and claps and whistles a million miles away... I almost stumbled off the steps going back to the table.

“Good job, Takumi—that was fun!”

“Geez, dude—what was with that girly song?!” Leave it up to Gaku to suck the joy out of the room like an energy vampire...

“You know, Gaku—if you actually want girls to like you, maybe try not insulting the things they like...”

He looked like he honestly never considered that possibility before.

Takemaru roughly clapped my back. “Man—that corny-ass song was actually pretty catchy!”

“Hehe—it was catchy, wasn’t it?” Yugamu grinned. “I even caught Shouma swinging his feet and doing a little secret dance in his seat...”

“Wah! Forgive me, Takumi—I-I’m sure I just ruined karaoke and the art of song for everyone forever!”

“Oh, nonsense, Shouma—have you ever heard of CloudSound mumble rap? They’ve done much more harm to the art of song than you ever could in a lifetime.”

Shion smiled at me as I took my seat. “It’s interesting, Takumi—even though it was in a different language, I could understand the emotion you put into your singing...” It honestly just felt like I was floundering and faking my way through it the whole time... “Hemoanima truly is amazing.”

Eito pushed up his glasses. “‘Forward is the only way my heart can go’...” He gave me an almost shy smile. “Quite profound, Takumi! Don’t you think?”

“I didn’t write it...” Now that all the adrenaline was draining out of me, the embarrassment was setting in... “Hrrmmm...” I hid my head in my arms on the table. “I didn’t really get up there and sing freaking ‘real Emotion’, did I?”

“Ehehe... You did, and I’m quite proud of you for pushing through your obvious stage fright.” I felt Yugamu pat my shoulder. “Hmm... You warmed up the crowd so well, I may have to reconsider my song choice...”

“Oh, what were you going to sing, Yugamu?” It was Nozomi who asked.

“Well... Why don’t we let someone else go first? Who still hasn’t picked a song? Kurara?” There was a palpable silence. I guess it’s at least a somewhat-good sign that she didn’t just peace out like Hiruko...

I raised my head, peering around the cafeteria. She and Darumi still haven’t come back... Oh, Ima wasn’t here either, he must’ve slunk off to his room at some point...

“Shion? Do you want to sing?”

“Me? Oh, um... I don’t know.” His flames dulled just a little.

Yugamu’s eye sharpened to a crescent. “Oh, Eito! You haven’t sung yet, have you?” He grinned widely. “Why don’t you look through the karaoke machine’s catalogue? I think you might be surprised...”

Eito pushed up his glasses. “I don’t know any songs well enough to even make an attempt. Unless you want me to get up there and sing, ‘One more god rejected...’”

“It doesn’t matter what it is—there have been some pretty strange song choices already, we’re all just messing around and having a good time here.”

“Then I imagine I’d only succeed in bringing down the mood more spectacularly than whatever morose number you have picked out.”

“Oh, come now—don’t be that way.” The tension was thickening like jello... “It’s less about singing, and more of an excuse to let loose and have fun among friends.”

“I’m perfectly content as a spectator, thank you.” Eito wasn’t even bothering with his disingenuous smile anymore. “I can’t help but notice that Kurara isn’t being pestered for refusing to participate.”

“Would you like to give orders to Miss Oosuzuki?”

“Give it a rest.” Kurara finally chimed in, sounding exhausted. “There’s no point forcing anyone to sing who doesn’t want to.”

Another uncomfortable silence settled over the cafeteria.

Yugamu sighed. “Oh, for the love of murder... All right, let me take another look at the catalogue. I suppose I can always sing a Doja Neko song...” He shuffled away towards the karaoke machine. “Ehehe... Showing your special someone that your own embarrassment is more important than being a team player... Not a good look.” Yugamu was being really catty about it, but... it was kind of annoying that Eito just shut down any and all attempts to at least try to integrate into the group. I was trying to be patient with him because of the way he is—but when he just straight-up admitted the other day, “Now that I don’t have anything to gain from pretending to be nice to anyone, the only person I can muster up any kindness for is you”—it was starting to wear a little thin. I tried giving him the benefit of the doubt that since he was so self-aware about it, he was going to try to do something about it... But it was feeling more and more like a crutch. 

It wasn’t like he wasn’t trying at all—it just felt like he only did when I nagged him to, and that wasn’t a cycle I wanted to get into at all. I did see him talking to Shouma and Kyoshika when they all crashed the pool—but for all I know he just zoned out while Kyoshika went on about manga, and just preached to Shouma about vegetarianism the whole time... And when we went around giving everyone their gifts, it was mostly me doing all the talking, he hardly engaged with anyone at all, even though I compromised that he could wear earplugs... I just couldn’t get First Eito’s aggressive questions out of my mind—“Do you think he’ll ever be able to live a normal life, and tolerate being around the others like you want him to? Can you really see yourself spending your whole life with such an aggressively anti-social person?” Maybe... it was just really unfair of me to expect him to change like that. Even if he didn’t actively hate everyone anymore... asking him to just suck it up so we could pretend to be living a normal life was just—

“Haah...” Eito sighed loudly, taking his hands out of his pockets. “Not a bone of subtlety in that one’s body...” He pushed up his glasses. “I suppose I shouldn’t brag about crawling through Hell in a video game, if I’m not willing to suffer through it in real life.”

“What?”

He wasn’t looking at me. “Come with me, Shion—I haven’t lived completely under a rock. At the very least, there was always a radio playing ‘oldies’ around the nurses’ station...”

“Oh! Well, if you want to sing together, that might be fun...” Shion still looked unsure, but he floated along after Eito with open curiosity.

“What? You’re really going to sing?” I saw that his hand was shaking, before he tucked it away in his pocket. “Hey—” I jumped up, catching up to him so I could whisper. “If you really don’t want to—you don’t have to.”

“Aha...” He had his false smile on, but his already-pale skin had paled another shade... “If I have a panic attack and die up there, promise me you won’t go back in time again...”

“Geez...” I rubbed his back. “You’re not gonna die—I managed to get through it, even if I did sort of enter a fugue state...” So... it wasn’t that he was still being frosty towards everyone... he was just really, really nervous. That was almost cute... I felt bad for doubting him so severely in my head just now... “Hey... If you get through this alive, I’ll pat your head and tell you ‘good job’...”

“Who has the microphone? Hand it over.”

I actually laughed. “Geez... What song are you planning on singing, anyway?”

He pushed up his glasses. “Well... There was one I remember not minding, because the singer’s voice was so gentle it didn’t grate my ears... I just hope Shion’s familiar with it, too.”

“I may be, if it was on the ‘oldies’ station!” Shion was looking a little more cheerful. “Mr. Sirei considers himself an ‘old fogie’, even though he’s only in his fifties.”

“Is that so?” I forgot Sirei was even here—geez, his little avatar was in the corner, desperately reciting a sutra with prayer beads... I guess he was psyching himself up to sing while stone-cold sober.

“Um... Takumi?” Shion did something I’d never seen before—wrench his hands. “I’m a little nervous as well, I’ve never sang before...” He was peering up at me with large eyes. “If I make it through the whole song, can you pat my head and tell me ‘good job’ as well?” 

I could feel the energy radiating off Eito, but he very wisely chose to keep his mouth shut.

I smiled. “Sure, Shion—just have fun up there! That’s what it’s all about!” I pat his back, feeling the warmth of his flames.

“Haha... Well, we’ll certainly do our best.”

I started walking back towards the table. They’ll be fine—it was a brilliant move to rope Shion into it as well, even if it did feel a bit like Eito was using him as a “shield”... Hopefully everyone encouraging Shion would rub off a bit on him, too.

“Ah, wait—I’m getting nervous again, Takumi, I need some encouragement...”

“Oh my God—you’re so needy...” I hopped back on the stage, and wiped that shit-eating grin off Eito’s face with a fat “love and peace charm” in front of everyone...

A cold wind blew through the cafeteria...

“Oh, my... This means I’ll get a ‘love and peace charm’ when it’s my turn, right, Takumi? Ehehe...”

“Ah—so that’s what that is.” Shion smiled, holding his hand over his heart. “My other self told me about that—so it’s a good luck charm meant to impart ‘love and peace’...”

“Aha...” Eito smiled up at me terrifyingly... “Now what does that mean, Takumi? Have you been giving out love and peace willy-nilly?”

“... Just hurry up and pick your song, you’re holding up the line.”

“Haha... How cruel...”

I trudged back to the table, feeling that my face was burning...

“Ehehe... Have you heard the term ‘mutually-assured destruction’, Takumi? I’m afraid that’s all you’re going to get trying to one-up that one with public humiliation... His tolerance is abnormally high.”

“I know.” I buried my head in my arms. Ugh... stupid Eito. And wait—when the heck did Shion go and tell his other self I gave him a kiss on the forehead?! Gah—

“Oh! I do know this song!”

“Haha... Then, how about we change the words a little?” Eito lowered his voice, I couldn’t hear what he said. “Like that? Just to make it more universal...”

“I see... I like that idea.”

I finally lifted my head, pushing my hair out of my eyes. Shion looked more calm than before, I’d even say he looked happy, watching while Eito shuffled through the karaoke menu. Even Eito had a small smile... for just a second, it looked like I was seeing their other selves standing together.

“Um—Mr. Sirei? Are you feeling all right?”

Sirei’s avatar was still sweating in the corner. “What, whaddaya want?!”

“Well... I was hoping you’d watch me sing.” Shion took the extra microphone that Eito handed him. “This is how I feel... Being with everyone.”

“Aww...” Sirei mopped the sweat from his brow with a little towel. “—well, hurry up, then!” He hopped up and down angrily. “Some of us are trying to resist the siren call of the bottle waiting for our turn, here!”

Shion laughed lightly. “I understand. Well, then—here goes...”

A gentle acoustic guitar started up, accompanied by piano... I recognized the songwriter’s name instantly on the monitor, but I’m not familiar with the song...

I saw Eito wince as he raised the mic to his lips, steadying himself with a quick breath. The backing track was quieter coming out of the speakers, he must’ve turned it down so we could hear Shion’s voice easier.

“Oh, my friends, for the first time in my life~ My eyes are wide open~” Both of their voices were so soft, the mic could barely pick up Eito... “Oh, my friends, for the first time in my life... My eyes can see~”

A gentle calm fell over the cafeteria... Even Sirei was silently peering up at the stage with his beady black eyes.

“I see the wind, I see the trees~ Everything is clear in my heart~” Even without the microphone, I could hear Shion’s voice in my heart clear as day... “I see the clouds, I see the sky... Everything is clear in our world~” Eito was so nervous I could hardly hear him, it was more like he was whispering... But I could feel it, what he was trying to say.

Everyone sat and listened, with no cheering or “whoos”, some people had their eyes closed... I closed my eyes too, remembering what Shion said to me the first time, before he ever knew he had a name... “Someone like me, who’s been living with no purpose... Next time... I want to be friends with all of you.”

“I feel sorrow, I feel dreams~ Everything is clear in my heart...~ I feel life, I feel love... Everything is clear in our world~”

The instrumental faded out, and the gentle song came to an end.

I started clapping, and mellow applause sounded through the cafeteria.

“Good job, guys... That was a good song choice, I thought it was really sweet.”

“WAAAHH-HAH-HAAH!” Sirei was bawling his eyes out.

“Oh, dear—Mr. Sirei? I’m sorry...” Shion floated down next to him. “I didn’t mean to upset you...”

He wiped a big tear from his eye. “... So, that’s really how you feel, huh?” He composed himself, retrieving his little cane. “Being with everyone like this makes you feel alive for the first time?”

Shion beamed. “It does... It really does feel like this is what it means to ‘live’...”

“... I see.” Sirei tapped his cane down. “Very well—Maruko, you’re up next!” He winked. “Let’s keep the good times rolling with a wholesome folk song!”

“Huh?!” Gaku bit his nails. “But I’m not ready—what about Yugamu?!”

“That guy’s just gonna screw up the atmosphere with his weird, freaky song!”

Yugamu rubbed his chin. “It isn’t that weird... Although it does allow me to scream, ehehe...”

“Gah!” Gaku clutched his head in his hands. “—just go ahead of me! I have to pick out another song...”

“Oh? But I thought you loved folk songs...”

Gaku sighed loudly. “Yeah, well... The girls are just gonna get bored if I sing some sad enka ballad, right?”

Yugamu pat his shoulder. “While it is considerate of you to try reading the room—you should just sing what’s in your heart. Ehehe... Everyone has been letting the pressure get to them too much, it’s all just good, clean fun.” Oh—where did Eito go? He just slunk off and disappeared...

“—I’ll be right back.” I pushed up out of the bench. “Go ahead and look at the catalogue if you want to, Gaku...”

“Huh?! Well, okay...”

I pushed out the cafeteria doors, making my way towards the stairs... It’s possible he went outside to get some fresh air—or maybe he did actually start to have a panic attack and went back up to his room... Damnit, I shouldn’t have pushed him so much when he was obviously nervous...

Ah—I just barely saw the door to the boys’ bathrooms swing closed.

“... Eito?” I pushed the door open carefully. He looked up from the sink, water dripping from his chin. The hair around his face was a little wet.

“... ah. Hello, Takumi.” He chuckled awkwardly, cupping more water into his hands. He splashed his face again, getting water all over his silky hair that was hanging down.

“—do you want me to hold your hair?” I realized it sounded weird as soon as I said it—it’s not like he was throwing up...

“Aha... I suppose you might as well.” “It can’t get any worse than this...” was unspoken in his hollow tone.

I smoothed his hair away from his face with my nails. “Sorry...”

“... You have nothing to apologize for, Takumi.” He turned off the faucet, still bent over the sink. I couldn’t see his face. “Haha... Did you ever see the other Eitos looking pathetic like this, too?”

“... I guess I did see First Eito looking distressed sometimes... But he blamed it on his ‘illness.’ He usually just went to go lay down, no one really gave it a second thought.” My nails weren’t that long, but I tried to rake his hair back in a way that hopefully felt good... “Ha... You want to hear some more First Eito blackmail?” I smirked to myself. “I guess it’s a bit morbid... I was just thinking about something the first Shion said, so it just popped into my mind...” I could still see the crazed look on Eito’s face as he stared up at me bloodied and broken, slumped against Shion’s busted pod—he almost looked excited that I was about to kill him. “After we fought him in the Defense Room... I couldn’t just let him get away with what he did, so... Right as I was about to absorb his hemoanima, he said, ‘Take all that I am, Takumi...’” [A/N: He really says that, First Eito be freaky XD]

“Oh, dear...” I heard Eito laugh lightly. “I see... Quite a loaded way to put it, I must say... Even accounting for being beaten senseless by all of you.”

“It is, isn’t it...” Huh... Now that I think about it, First Eito did say something else, right when I stabbed him... I was so angry and feverish after the battle, I didn’t remember until just now. “He also said, ‘I always loathed, despised, and hated you so much... I just couldn’t help myself.’” I guess Second Eito decided he “envied” me more than “hated” me... There was a fine line between love and hate, after all.

Eito finally straightened up, and I saw his face in the mirror. His eyes were closed, his glasses tucked in the small breast pocket of his jacket. “‘I just couldn’t help myself’... Now, I wonder what that could mean?” He opened his eyes. “Ah—” His eyes went a bit wide when they fell on my reflection in the mirror.

“What?”

He relaxed. “It’s nothing, Takumi... Just without my glasses on, you looked a little different, that’s all.” He smiled to himself, grabbing a paper towel from the dispenser.

I leaned my tailbone back against the sink. “What—do I finally have flesh on my skeleton, or something?”

“Aha...” He delicately dabbed his face dry, then put his glasses back on. “It’s the opposite, actually... You have less rotting flesh clinging to your bones than before.”

“Yeesh...”

He smiled at me, almost looking a bit shy. “You know, I chose that tree-hugging song because I thought it would make Shion happy to say those words...” His eyes closed. “And, I thought maybe if I said it out loud like a mantra, it would come true...” He winked, he practically looked like he sparkled. “Haha—who’s more embarrassingly sincere, Takumi—me or First Eito?”

“Geez—I guess you, because you actually mean it this time...” I took his hand. “Here, let’s get out of the bathroom first... Oh, do you feel better now?”

“I do—” His hand closed over mine. “Thank you for coming to find me, Takumi... Haha, I suppose I can’t deny that I secretly hoped you would, as embarrassing as it was...”

“Geez...” I guess what Yugamu said was right—this guy really had no shame, it’d be quite a task for me to out-embarrass him... “Well...” I turned around to face him. “Good job overcoming your fear of singing in front of everyone...” I gently pat the top of his head. “And thanks for singing with Shion, too... You did well.”

Eito closed his eyes, looking at peace. “... Can you do that again later, too?”

“... Sure.” For some reason, I was getting that melty feeling in my brain... I didn’t even mind indulging his ask for some double-dipping...

Maybe it was because it was broad daylight, or we were in the middle of the hallway, but—he felt more passive than usual, it was a more shy kiss than even that first time we were in my room... Why did he look so cute to me lately? Maybe I was seeing him a bit differently, too...

“Oh maaan—I didn’t think it was reeaaally like that!” Darumi had her finger pressed to her lips, standing sopping wet in her swimsuit, a pink inner tube around her waist... “I just thought you had a kink for guys who wanted to kill you! You know—like that Vice-Minister’s daughter with that mech pilot?!” Hiruko was standing next to her, glaring with an expensive designer towel tight around her waist... “Just don’t bother trying to invite this guy to your birthday party, Takumi!”

I actually laughed. “You know, that one was so specific, I actually understood what you were referencing, for once...” I didn’t even feel embarrassed, honestly... I just felt comfortable, Eito didn’t even bother to move his arms from around me.

“Ugh...” Darumi’s whole vibe deflated instantly. “A normie can speak my language... Just kill me now...”

Hiruko pushed up her glasses. “You can’t die until I say so, doggie. Don’t forget that.”

“Arf! Haahaahaa...” Darumi started panting like a happy golden retriever... Actually... Didn’t both of them look a little flushed? Like their skin was glowing...

“Come along now, Darumi.” Hiruko snapped her hand, like she was tugging an invisible leash.

“Yes, Mistress!” She bounded along after Hiruko, and the two of them disappeared upstairs...

It was quiet in the hallway, the only proof that that really happened was a puddle of pool water on the floor...

“Oh, dear...” Eito sighed, heading back into the bathroom. “Do we have a ‘Slippery When Wet’ sign I can put down?” Surely that innuendo wasn’t intentional...

百

Yugamu looked up from the karaoke machine, Tsubasa still scrolling next to him. “Ah—welcome back, Takumi!” He smiled widely. “The girls all decided to pair up for duets once everyone has had a turn, hehe...”

“Oh—that sounds interesting.” Eito and I slid into the bench, with Shion looking a little less opaque across the table.

“Um, Takumi?” He looked pretty tired... “I wanted to stay for Yugamu and Gaku’s songs, but I’ll have to rest after that...”

“I understand—sorry to ask so much of you lately.”

“Oh, no—I’m glad I got to spend this much time with you, at least.” He smiled, regaining some of his usual serene cheerfulness. 

“Hehehe...” I could hear Yugamu’s low snicker into the microphone, as Tsubasa took her seat again. “I decided not to kill the mood with my very specific tastes... So I hope you all enjoy a sexier song.” He had that worrying look in his eye... “Some might say that it’s the sexiest song there is...” Oh God—it could be anything, some horrifically graphic black metal or some misogynistic explicit rap that wasn’t fit for Kako’s innocent ears...

A quite sexy saxophone started up... Yugamu warmed up his voice with some opening “Whoa-whoa-whoas”... that was quite the pick. I’d never be brave enough to try to cover one of that guy’s songs—how would you even compare?

“I feel so unsure...~ As I take your hand, and lead you to the dance floor~” The girls all looked shocked. Shit, I was shocked, too—even Gaku’s mouth was hanging open. “As the music dies...~ Something in your eyes~ Calls to mind a silver screen, and all its sad goodbyes...~” I get it now—it wasn’t that he didn’t want to kill the vibe... he was trying to be nice and go last because he was actually a really good singer... “I’m never gonna dance again, guilty feet have got no rhythm...~”

百

“Tonight the music seems so loud!~ I wish that we could lose this crowd!~” Yugamu was putting his whole heart into it. “Maybe it’s better this way—we’d hurt each other with the words we want to say!~”

“Tch—this bastard.” Takemaru was grumbling. “He’s too fucking good—you’re supposed to be shitty at karaoke, that’s what makes it fun...”

My brows sloped. “Sorry, Takemaru... I hope you’ll sing again though, I thought your song was a lot of fun...”

He scratched the back of his hair. “Haah... Fuck, guess I gotta...”

The girls from Second-to-Last must be more used to it, but Tsubasa and Kako were absolutely enraptured—it’s a good thing Ima’s not here, Kako looked star-struck like she was watching the real George Oscar Michael himself...

“We could’ve been so good together!~ We could’ve lived this dance forever—but nooow who’s gonna dance with meee?~” Damn—it’s a good thing Eito already sang, he might’ve actually passed out from nerves if he had to follow that up... “Please staaayy!~”

百

Nozomi was clapping feverishly, along with most everybody else. “That was great, Yugamu! I haven’t heard that one from you yet.” I noticed that even Kurara was giving him a light golf clap...

Yugamu took a bow with a flourish, his hakama swishing. “I live to serve, ehehe...”

Takemaru huffed. “What’s next—you gonna break out some Freddie Mercurius, too?”

“Well—‘The Show Shall Go On’ is one of my go-tos, but it’s also a bit of a downer, hehe...”

“Oh! I really loved that scene from Moulin Rose...” Kako closed her eyes, her hands pressed to her heart. “‘Inside, my heart is breaking... My makeup may be flaking, but—my smile, still stays on~’” She sang the very end of the line, though her voice went softer from nerves.

Yugamu’s eye glinted warmly. “Are you a fan of musical theater, Kako?”

“Oh, yes!” Her eyes sparkled. “I especially love—”

“Hey—Takumi.” Gaku tapped my shoulder. “Come with me a second, will ya?”

“Sure, Gaku...” He practically pulled me over to the karaoke machine.

He started rapidly scrolling through the catalogue of songs. “Hey, so... Girls like this kinda stuff, right?” He stopped on a song I recognized right away. “This genre’s making a comeback, right?”

“I’d say so—city pop got really popular again a few years back.” I gave him a smile. “I think it’s a good choice.”

“Whew...” He was wrenching the microphone. “Freaking Pretty Boy... I should’ve just gone first!!”

“It’s okay, Gaku—I think you’ll help the vibe pick up again. Everybody will probably feel more comfortable singing again after you’re brave enough to follow Yugamu...”

“Hrgh—so I’m just the sacrificial lamb...”

“I wouldn’t look at it like that.” I put my hands on his shoulders. “You were a pretty good mood-maker in my timelines—you put together a barbecue, a pool party, a bonfire, and an indoor festival—it was pretty cool, honestly.” I gave him another smile. “You set this all up, and you’re our big closer—so just give everyone a good show with good vibes!”

He finally stopped wringing the mic. “Heh... Guess I am a pretty decent singer, even if my brothers and sisters always want me to sing little-kid stuff like ‘Pon Pon Pon’...” What kind of kids are those?!

I pat Gaku’s shoulder. “You got this, Gaku.”

“Hehe—just watch me!” He made his selection, gleefully snickering into the microphone.

百

“Stay with meee~” A chorus of voices all sang along. “Mayonaka no doa o tatakiii~ (When you knocked on my door in the middle of the night...)” I’m glad he changed his song choice—Yugamu, too, I shudder to think what his original was... “Kaeranaide to naitaaa~ (I cried, ‘Don’t go home!’) Ano kisetsu ga, ima me no mae~ (Now that season has come around again...)” Honestly, the vibes were pretty good... I might even be persuaded to do a duet with one of the girls next... “Stay with meee~”

百

“Ooh, but what about this one?” Tsubasa kept scrolling. “Um... If you’re okay with me doing the rap part?” She looked a little shy as she suggested it.

“Whatever will be the most fun for you, Tsubasa—I’m also happy to take a backseat.”

“Tch.” Takemaru was loudly drumming his fingers on the table, practically glaring at Yugamu and Tsubasa as they picked out their next song.

I rolled my eyes. “What’s with that?”

He grit his teeth. “Nothin’.” His eyes flicked away from me. “Just some folks around here gettin’ awfully cozy outa nowhere.”

“Haah... Well, what do you expect?” Maybe Takemaru would respond better to a little “tough love”... “If you’re too chicken to shoot your shot, you don’t get to stew on the sidelines like a jealous loser...”

“Whoa, Takumi!” He hissed at me. “Keep it down, man—goddamn.” What—was that supposed to be a secret?

“Wah!” Shouma sparkled. “I’ll finally have a buddy in the ‘Jealous Loser Club’... Oh, but you’ll probably want to demote me to an even lower, more pathetic club than that, Takemaru...”

“Who’s jealous?!” He slapped the table with an open palm. “Goddamnit—I’m gettin’ a beer.”

“Huh?! Since when do you drink?”

He wrenched open the huge door to the fridge. “There’s non-alcoholic beer in here, dumbass!!” Geez—he was really getting worked up from those two just talking to each other... Okay, but—who was he actually jealous of, Yugamu or Tsubasa? Maybe both? That’d be a twist...

“Oh, for the love of murder...” Yugamu handed Tsubasa the mic, walking smoothly off the stage. “There’s no need to be jealous—there’s plenty of me to go around, ehehe...” He stopped in front of Takemaru at the mouth of the fridge, folding his arms. “How about this—you can do a duet with me right after.” His eye glinted darkly. “We can sing ‘Immense Pressure’ together... I’ll even let you be Freddie Mercurius.”

Takemaru slapped his hand in the loudest handshake I’ve ever heard. “Deal!! And don’t you dare bitch out on it!!”

“Ehehe... I honor upholding a contract above everything else. You have my word.” He purred it velvety-smooth, like the devil himself making a deal with a foolish mortal...

“Good!! You better be ready to be put to shame by my golden pipes!!” 

... Seriously? That’s what he was mad about? Haah... these guys.

Sirei calmly took the can from Takemaru’s hand. “No non-alcoholic beer for you, young man—trust me, it’s a slippery slope you don’t want to go down.” He crushed the can into his transparent body, and it disappeared...

Everyone watched as Sirei shuffled to the stage, jumping up and gesturing for the microphone.

“May I borrow that for a sec, Kawana? I want to say my piece before Shion calls it a night...”

“Oh, uh—sure.” She handed him the mic.

“Thank you kindly.” He lifted his bucket hat off his head. “Ahem... I can’t remember the last time I got up to sing without a couple drinks in me, so just bear with me, kiddos.”

Tsubasa quietly made her way off the stage, taking a seat by Kako. I glanced over at Shion, and he looked just as confused as I did.

“Shion...” Sirei spoke into the microphone. “I’m old. I have a lot of regrets in my life.” I don’t think that’s AI Sirei talking... “But—letting that sappy Sumino convince me to put you on the team with all the other kids... I think that’s the only good decision I’ve made in a long time.” His avatar smiled—that was actually pretty rare. “Well, at any rate—you poured your damn heart out with that hippie-dippie song, so this is just the rambling of a washed-up old man.” He hopped up, pressing a button on the machine... 

An almost melancholic electric guitar riff started up...

“Oh—Honorable Sirei!” Nigou teared up. “You’re really going to sing?”

The intro went on for what felt like a while...

“Every time that I look in the mirror...~ All these lines on my face gettin’ clearer...~” Sirei’s singing voice was breathy, like he was passively recalling what singing once felt like... “The past is gone...” He inhaled deeply. “It went back, like dusk to dawn~”

I saw Shion clutching his hands to his chest, his eyes glued to Sirei up on the stage.

“Isn’t that the way?~ Everybody’s got their dues in life to pay...~” Honestly... If I didn’t know this was a real song, I would’ve believed that Sirei wrote it himself about his own life...

百

“Dream on!~ Dream on!~ Dream on!~ Dream until your dream comes true!~” His little eyes were scrunched closed, wailing into the microphone. “Dream on! Dream on! Dream on! Dream on! DREAM ON!! DREAM ON!! DREAM ON!!” He wasn’t even singing anymore, just shouting with his whole heart... “Sing with me, sing for the year~ Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears~ Sing with me, just for today~ Maybe tomorrow, the Good Lord will take you away...~” Sirei closed his eyes, setting the microphone back in the stand. The song faded out and was over.

Shion’s eye was scrunched closed. “Mr. Sirei...”

“Well, anyway—don’t stay up too late, kiddos!” Sirei nyoomed away, disappearing into thin air...

“Ah—he ran away!”

“Ohoho—don’t fret, Mr. Shion!” Nigou smiled brightly. “The Honorable Sirei meant every word, I’m sure—he’s just embarrassed because he hasn’t sung karaoke good and sober before!”

“Oh... I see...”

Nigou pat Shion’s back. “You must be tired, Mr. Shion—you’ve worked hard today, good job!”

“Oh!” I shot off the bench. “I’m sorry, Shion—I forgot yours, too!” I pat his fluffy hair, the flames coiling around my hand. “Good job—you conquered your nerves and sang for the first time!” I smiled at him. “I hope you had fun.”

“Ah—I did.” He was peering up at me with eyes as wide as saucers. “I’m glad I got to tell you all how I feel... Just like Mr. Sirei.”

“Ugh—hey, if you guys can’t grill meat right and keep smokin’ up the joint, then just go vegetarian like Stringbean...” Tears were pouring down Takemaru’s face...

Shion laughed. “But no one’s grilling meat, Takemaru... It’s all right to cry, I do it all the time when I’m alone in my pod! It helps me feel better.”

“Guh...” Takemaru covered his eyes with both hands, his sunglasses slipping right off his face. “Damnit...”

“Oh, um...” Shion hovered closer to him. “I’m sorry, Takemaru... That was my attempt at a joke, but I suppose it wasn’t very funny...”

“Oh, dear...” Yugamu snickered, rubbing Takemaru’s back from his other side. “Well, I thought your joke was quite funny, Shion... I suppose you get your dark sense of humor from Mommy.”

“I’m sorry...”

Takemaru loudly sucked the snot back in his head. “‘S fine.”

Shion floated down over him, giving him a ghostly hug while his flames flickered all around...

百

I decided to dip out after Shion said his goodbyes—he went around hugging everyone, even Kurara and Eito. Kurara just sat there stiffly, but I swore I heard a sniffle from her mask before she hugged him back... Eito looked as caught off-guard as last time, but he did awkwardly pat Shion’s back after a second. Actually, that begged the question...

“You still can’t see Shion in the center of the flame, right?” I peered up at Eito as we ascended the stairs. “When he hugs you—does it just feel like you’re being engulfed by fire?”

“Aha... I suppose it does.” He hid his hands in his jacket pockets. “It’s a little unnerving, to suddenly be enveloped by flame that doesn’t burn, and hearing a voice echoing in my head at the same time...”

“I guess it would be...” We finally got to the service doors leading to the roof. “Well—as long as you weren’t ignoring him on purpose last time.”

“Last time? Oh...” His brows actually sloped. “Well—it wasn’t my intention to hurt his feelings. I must not have been able to glean his body language just from his flames... It seems I have to pay better attention.”

I had a small smile. “I’m sure he’d appreciate that.”

We stopped at the stairs leading up to my door.

Eito still had his hands hidden in his pockets. “To be completely transparent with you, Takumi—I’m dreadfully exhausted, and my ears are ringing horribly—I don’t think I have the mental capacity to focus on a casual conversation, much less an important one...”

“That’s fine—sorry for making you endure so much karaoke...”

He managed a smile. “Well, I did stay and endure it of my own free will, didn’t I?”

“I guess so... thanks.” I felt bad for even having that expectation of him... but I guess he was just trying to show me how serious he was. “Honestly, I’m pretty tired, too...” I was actually relieved he said it first. I knew whatever “talk” we had was gonna be a doozy, so I needed my brain to be firing on all cylinders so I could give it my full attention... “Maybe I’ll see you at dinner?”

“I may just sleep through it...”

“Oh...”

He sighed. “Well, there’s no need for me to sleep for sixteen hours straight... If I haven’t come out of my room by sundown, then you can wake me up.”

“Okay.” I don’t know if I’ll even want to talk about it, then... “Maybe I can make us some tea this time?”

He smiled tiredly. “That would be lovely.”

百

[A/N: Content warning: Themes and depictions of suicidal ideation throughout the following scenes—although nothing is described graphically. And since death is something you can walk off at LDA thanks to the wonders of technology, it’s treated more like a cathartic abstraction...]

As I was admiring the soft orange sunset, I saw a shadow moving behind the fence—someone was out walking on the ledge surrounding the rooftop.

“It’s all right.” Whoa—Yugamu’s voice surprised me. “I’ve been keeping an eye out, Takumi—I don’t sense that she has any intention to jump.” He smiled from the shadows. “And even if she does, I’ll make sure to get her into the Revive-O-Matic right away.”

“I see...” I watched the silhouette behind the fence, Darumi’s bright blue hair and pink stockings lighting up the hexagons between the chain-links as she walked back and forth. It almost looked like those little beads you slip onto pegs on a plastic mold, then melt with an iron...

“Hehe—it’s too bad you missed Tsubasa and I’s duet of ‘Kiss Me Even More’—you should’ve seen the other girls’ faces when she sang, ‘Fellas wishing this kitty was a kissing booth, nyaa~!’”

“Oh my gosh... I can only imagine.”

We watched Darumi as she took exaggerated steps along the beam, kicking her feet up. “Behind the fence, she almost looks like pixel art. Or those little perler bead patterns you melt with an iron and wax paper...”

“Oh, is that what those things are called?”

“Ehehe—even someone like me went to summer camp, and made all sorts of arts and crafts.” Yugamu folded his arms in satisfaction. “I’m quite proud of the twenty-two foot lanyard I made resembling the human small intestine... Oh, twisted-style, of course.”

“Geez...”

He smiled at me. “I’ll just keep watch here, Takumi. It’s what I do, as the shadow in the corner, ehehe...” [A/N: A play on the kanji of his surname.]

“Okay...” I impulsively wanted to ask him if he was okay, too... But I guess that was his way of saying he was. Singing karaoke with everyone was probably a nice distraction, and put him in a better mood... It was sweet that he was out here keeping an eye on Darumi, when I’m sure he had his own bevvy of heavy thoughts to sort through... “I’ll be back, then.”

“Have fun, Takumi.” He grinned. “Ooh—I just had a lovely thought—if you fall, I’ll valiantly leap off the roof to catch you both, and stretch my arm to grab the ledge just in the nick of time... Ehehe... Then you’ll both be so grateful, this polycule will be up to five...”

I rolled my eyes. “You just go ahead and keep fantasizing about that.” Yugamu and Darumi, huh... Last time, she was killed while I was out bringing Yugamu and the others back in the first place... one of my biggest regrets. His other self never even got to meet her. I don’t know... Honestly, I think Yugamu could be a good friend or big brother to her, since he’s someone who’s able to make peace with his own inner darkness... Actually, having a friend like that might be just what Darumi needs. “Want to come with me?”

“Me?” His eye widened just a bit. “Well... I suppose so.” He rubbed his chin. “I haven’t gotten the opportunity to speak to Darumi much before now, truth be told... She might not appreciate my presence very much.”

“You think so?”

He smiled knowingly. “Why don’t you go check on her first, Takumi? I’ll just keep an eye out... I’m good at reading the mood, so maybe I’ll join you later.”

“Okay...” I couldn’t glean much from his expression. His smile was telling me, “Go on, now!” like a mother trying to push her shy child out the door to go play with the neighbor kids... Well, as long as he was sure...

As I got closer, I could hear Darumi humming and singing to herself, kicking her shoes on the concrete. Her hands were clasped behind her back, something about it struck me as oddly child-like.

I delicately maneuvered myself around the gap in the fence. “Did you have fun swimming with Hiruko?”

“Hm~ Hm~ Wouldn’t you like to know?” She kept humming to herself. “Eww... Are you one of those guys who wants to get in the middle of two girls like a sandwich?”

“Well... I mean, no!”

“Hehehe... You’re such a bad liar, Takumi.” Her long pigtail slipped over her shoulder. “You’re too sincere a person...” Well... Maybe if I was a girl, too—otherwise yeah, I’d kind of just feel like a scummy guy intruding... It probably wouldn’t be much better if I said that out loud, though.

The sun was burning the horizon a deep amber, clashing with the Undying Flames almost beautifully...

“I’m not gonna jump, you know.” She yawned into her hand. “I’d just get revived anyway, so there’s no point... Buuuut, I do want to know what it feels like to fly.” She peered over the edge down the long drop below, her finger pressed to her lips.

Normally I’d never encourage this type of thing, but... “Will it satisfy your curiosity if you do it?” I leapt from the fence onto the platform, landing with an extra step. “Like you said, you’ll be revived good as new right afterwards...”

“Whoa-ho!” She pointed finger-guns at me. “Takumi’s got a dark side! I didn’t know you had it in ya!” She grinned widely, the painted teeth over her cheek stretching. “Wanna jump with me? It’ll be fun!”

I peered down over the edge. “Honestly... It might actually be fun to take a running jump off the ledge, just to know what it feels like.” I gazed up at her sheepishly. “But it’ll hurt hitting the ground, and there’s a chance we might not die...”

She stared at me. “Are you being serious right now?” She sighed with annoyance. “What’s up with that? You’re just indulging me because, why—you feel bad for me?”

“What? No...” Why did her tone suddenly change so much? “You asked me, so... I don’t know, I thought it might actually feel exhilarating, knowing we won’t actually die...”

“Haah...” She sighed loudly, clasping her hands behind her head. “What’s the point? It’s no fun unless you think you’re really gonna die.”

I was at a loss... I couldn’t tell if she was being serious or not. This kind of thing felt way above my paygrade... I had to say something, but I was afraid of saying the wrong thing.

“Well...”

She turned away from me. “Why’d you come out here, anyway? Worried about me?”

“... I don’t know. I like this spot, too, so I guess I just wanted to talk to you out here...”

Her hands clasped behind her back. “Thank you for saving me... But, I wish you hadn’t.”

“What?”

“No, don’t pity me... I’m not worth it.”

“Darumi—what are you saying?” My heartbeat was picking up. “That’s not true—of course you’re—”

“Or maybe—you think you can save me?” She walked to the very edge, peering at me over her shoulder. “Will you love me?” Her face was in shadow, the blinding sun behind her. “Take care of me? Heal all my pain?”

I didn’t know what to say—the way she was looking at me—it’s like the weight of the world was in my answer.

“Heh... That’s what I thought.”

“—wait.” I moved without thinking. “Darumi—please don’t.” I had grabbed her arm and pulled her close. “Whatever you’re thinking—please don’t.” I stroked down the back of her hair like I did for Karua. “You are worth it—you belong here. You deserve to live and be happy like everyone else.” I held her tightly. “Please don’t go—we all need you here.”

She was silent for a second. “Pft... Hehehe!”

“What?”

“Nyohoho—you shoulda seen the look on your face, Takumi!” She was cackling into my shoulder. “It’s just from a game, you normie! You know, Quiet Hill II? Geez—I can’t believe you don’t know that!”

“... What?”

“‘What?’” She mocked my dumbfounded tone, rolling her eyes. “You really need to get out more, Takumi!” She sighed loudly... but then her head dropped in my shoulder. I couldn’t see her face... her arms tightened around me, squeezing my back with her wrists. I just pat her back, smoothing down the wrinkles of her stripey dress.

[A/N: Spoilers for Silent Hill 2 (the original on PS2), but I don’t believe going in knowing any of this diminishes the experience.]

“I’m surprised you don’t at least have a passing familiarity with such a seminal work of horror fiction, Takumi.” Yugamu’s arm stretched to the top of the fence... Like a grappling hook, he flung himself up, smoothly flipping onto the other side and landing next to us on the narrow ledge. “Hehe... ‘It’s hot as hell in here.’”

Darumi’s eyes lit up, and she squeezed my back excitedly. “‘You see it, too?’” She finally let me go, her balled fists shaking under her chin in excitement. “‘For me, it’s always like this!’”

“Hehe... Quite an impactful scene.” Yugamu folded his arms thoughtfully. “I recognized that monologue right away.”

Darumi rolled her eyes at me. “See, Takumi—this guy gets it. You need to get with the program!” She yawned, stretching her arms over her head. Oh... Now that she mentioned it, that did sound a bit familiar...

“Um... Am I supposed to be picturing a woman walking up a staircase that’s on fire?”

Darumi’s eyes went wide. “Whoa—so you do know!”

“Haah... Well, I won’t name names—but a certain someone recently made a joke that if I ever get a posthumous letter from them, our ‘special place’ will be the courtyard... So I guess it was on my mind recently.”

“Is that so?” Yugamu rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Truth be told, I have a hard time imagining that one sitting down to play video games... Perhaps he’s drawn to depressing media that allows you to explore your own inner darkness, ehehe...”

“Well, apparently he’s played a game where you go through Hell to side with Lucifer, so anything goes...”

Darumi’s eyes were sparkling. “Kyoho—it all makes sense now!” She winked, giving me the finger-guns... “Careful, Takumi—Stringbean does seem like the kind of guy who’d smother his beloved wife with a pillow!”

“Haah...” I pressed my palm to my forehead. This extreme emotional whiplash made me feel more tired than ever... “Maybe the first time around... But I sincerely doubt this Eito would even entertain the possibility.” I should try to ask Takemaru if he can stop calling him “Stringbean”, it was starting to spread to the others...

They were both disquietingly quiet...

I looked up at both of them. “What?” They were avoiding eye contact. “... You don’t think so?”

Their eyes flicked to each other. “Well... I dunno, Takumi.” Darumi was the first to speak up. “I mean... Sure, that guy’s been saying he’s sooo totally in love with you every chance he gets—but can’t you feel it?” She stretched her arms over her head again. “He’s still super-mega-messed up inside—before you show up to breakfast he has this totally blank stare like life seriously isn’t worth living... Trust me, I’d know!”

“Please don’t joke about something like that so casually...”

She yawned into her palm. “Who’s joking?”

Yugamu had his arms folded thoughtfully. “Well, since Darumi’s already broached the subject... I can also sense that inner darkness in Eito’s heart quite strongly. It’s quite fascinating to me, actually...” He rubbed his chin. “That one has a keen killer’s instinct, even without formal training like I have.”

Something sank into the pit of my stomach. “You think so, huh...”

“I do.” Yugamu regarded me with a calm expression, never breaking eye contact. “To be completely frank with you, Takumi—my gut instinct is telling me that he’s no longer a threat to you specifically—but that killing intent isn’t gone. He’s gearing up to do something—though, what it is, I can’t say.” He shrugged, fanning out his long nails. “I’ve chosen to trust your judgment to let him back on the team—it doesn’t seem that his malicious intent is directed towards us, per se. Even Shion could sense that much...”

I swallowed. “What do you think it is, then?”

He rubbed his chin. “I couldn’t guess...” He quietly contemplated for a moment. “Takumi... I’m sure you understand that one better than I do, but—if I had to guess, it seems like he was hoping that pouring all of his emotional energy into loving you would erase the darkness in his heart... But he’s probably coming up on the harsh reality that the human heart doesn’t work that way. People have to want to change...” He shrugged. “You can’t just rely on ‘love’ to do the hard work for you—loving someone or being loved may give you the motivation to change, but you’re still the one responsible for putting in the hard work yourself, at the end of the day.”

Eito had said something like that already... It was finally hitting him how much “work” he had to do on himself, before he was even “worth” falling in love with. “I see...”

Darumi yawned loudly. “You’re over-thinking it, dude—it’s probably just himself!”

“... Huh?”

She smiled widely, her twintails bouncing. “He probably just hates himself! I bet he’s walking riiight up the ledge right now, wondering which part of himself he should kill to be able to be a good boyfriend! Haah...” Her mood instantly deflated, even her twintails sagged. “Or, you know... A functioning member of society, if you want the boring answer...”

A sharp wind blew past the ledge, making goosebumps prickle all up my arm.

“Oh, my—perhaps you should go back inside, Takumi.” Yugamu smiled at me. “You wouldn’t want a sharp wind to blow you right off the edge!”

“... What about you guys?”

Yugamu folded his arms calmly. “I’m rather curious what it feels like to fly, myself...”

Darumi’s eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. “You serious, jump-buddy? Sweet!”

“Wait, hold on, now—”

“Don’t worry, Takumi.” Yugamu had that scarily sincere smile again... “The Revive-O-Matic will scoop us up right away—we’re still well within its range.”

“But that’s—”

“Whoo-hoo!” Darumi was jumping up and down, kicking her feet in the air. “Jump! Jump! Jump!”

“Ehehe... Truth be told, I’m so proficient in combat that I haven’t actually died yet...” Yugamu’s eye was a crescent. “So, I’d like to know what it feels like. Torn flesh, smashed bones, ruptured muscle...” He looked like he was enjoying thinking about it a little too much... “I believe that feeling death for myself will help me appreciate the preciousness of life all the more. Don’t you?”

“... Are you guys really serious?” I licked my lips. “You really want to jump, just to know what it feels like?”

“Totes, Takumi!” Darumi was waving her arms over her head excitedly. “Hey, hey—you’ll watch us, won’t you! Make sure to let me know how much air I get, okay?!”

I tried to steady my wildly beating heart... They didn’t really want to die, they’d be revived right after... They were just curious what it felt like... It’d be okay... Even if for some reason, the Revive-O-Matic didn’t activate, I could run to the infirmary to manually deploy them... I’d be watching, so it’d be okay...

Yugamu’s hands warmly clapped my shoulders. “Don’t over-think it, Takumi.” His eye was a crescent. “Just think of it as a purification ritual—a trial by fire, if you will. I’ll be emerging as a fresh and clean Yugamu on the other side.” He smiled at me. “I’ll be good as new, bidding ‘farewell’ to my old self and starting over with a clean slate.” I could see what he was trying to say... the emotion was swimming around his deep blue eye clear as day. “When I think of it that way, it’s rather exciting. Ehehe...”

I felt the warmth from his hands, and saw the peaceful, yet determined look on his face. “You’re ready to start over?”

He leaned in closer. “Thanks to your little hint, I finally have the courage to leave the family business behind... Hehe, just consider myself my final client.” He did something he actually didn’t do very often—winked. “It’ll be all right, Takumi—just gently watch over me as you always have, ehehe...”

I pat his hand. “All right... I’ll watch you, to make sure everything’ll be okay.”

“Whoo-hoo!” Darumi took a few dramatic deep inhales, whirling her arms around like she was warming up... “Dying’s not so bad—I’ve already done it once before!” Oh, that’s right... On our very first day, she charged into battle against Murvrum... That felt like so long ago. “It hurts pretty bad at first—then you don’t feel a thing!”

“Ehehe... Well, you might say that I’m not one to shy away from pain...”

I took a few deep breaths myself. “All right... I’ll be right here. If the Revive-O-Matic doesn’t deploy, I’ll go activate it manually...”

Yugamu grinned. “And if for some reason the fall doesn’t kill us, I’ll slit Darumi’s throat and then my own—so don’t worry about that.”

“Yeesh...” I can’t believe how casual they can be about all this. It hurt like hell when I started puking my own guts out after fighting Pakron... “Well... If you guys are really serious about this, then I hope you get what you want out of it.”

Yugamu pat my shoulders. “Thank you for understanding, Takumi. You really are sweet, hehehe...” His eye peered right into my soul. “Don’t worry—if Eito dies in battle, I’ll take responsibility and marry you so you don’t have to live as a widow.”

“—geez, who even said anything about that?”

He grinned, his hands finally slipping from my shoulders. “Well, unlike him—I can come back as many times as it takes.” He turned away from me, facing the brilliant sunset. “Well, Miss Darumi—shall we?” He offered her his hand.

“Hell to the yeah, I’ve only been waiting forever!” She surprised me by actually clasping his hand. “Whoo-hoo! Hey—make sure you don’t let go and land too far away to slit my throat!” Geez—

“All right...” Yugamu walked calmly to the back of the ledge. “On three, we’ll take a running jump... Ready?”

“One, two, three!” Without missing a beat, Darumi shouted the countdown in one breath—the two of them ran to the edge, hands clasped, and jumped... Their bodies eclipsed the blinding sun, sailing through the air, laughing all the way as they flew.

“Hehehehe!”

“Whooo-hoooo!”

I ran to the edge and looked down—their clothes billowed gracefully around them as they fell, like a pair of skydivers who would open their parachutes at any moment... Every instinct in me tried to tear my eyes away, but I watched until the moment they hit the ground...

Propellers whirred through the air, the Revive-O-Matics zooming down to pick them up, two dark red pools splattered out like fireworks left behind in the dirt...

I heard a door slam loudly behind me. “What the hell was that?! I heard shoutin’...” Takemaru’s eyes went wide as he saw the Revive-O-Matics flying back over the school. “Whoa—what the fuck?!”

“It’s okay!” I jumped back to the gap in the fence, gripping the chain-links with sweat-slicked palms. “I’m following them to the Infirmary!”

“Takumi—what the hell, man?!” Takemaru started running alongside me, and he got to the service doors first and threw them open. “What happened?! Someone fall off the roof?!”

“Well...” I sighed—it seemed a little personal to say, but they did insist they only did it “for fun”, so... “Yugamu and Darumi wanted to know what it felt like to fly... I said I’d watch over them to make sure the Revive-O-Matics picked them up!” I felt guilty as soon as I said it... I don’t think Takemaru would be able to understand those kinds of morbid complex emotions. At least, I hope not...

“... Are you fuckin’ serious...” His tone was uncharacteristically soft, I could barely hear him over our pounding footsteps as we ran to the Infirmary. “... You were watchin’ ‘em the whole time?”

“Yeah... I said I would.”

“Fuck...” Takemaru got to the Infirmary first, stopping outside the door to catch his breath. “Haah... So what, they just jumped for fun? ‘Cause they knew they’d get revived?” His brows were still deeply-furrowed... He obviously didn’t like the idea of it... Maybe he was trying to determine if I was lying, or if that’s really all it was.

I used that second of calm to try to steady my own breathing, swallowing the sour spit that had worked up in my throat. “... You should ask Yugamu how it felt when he wakes up.” I could hear the Revive-O-Matics parking inside, and the giant machine whirring to life... Good. “He told me...” I bit my lips. Well... He literally said I could’ve told Takemaru he wanted to gargle him six ways from Sunday, so—hopefully he wouldn’t mind if I told him something emotionally intimate. “He said he wanted to start fresh, and bid farewell to his old self... He seemed pretty determined, I think he jumped off the roof with nothing but positive intentions... That’s why you heard him laughing.”

Takemaru was staring through the small window of the Infirmary, his expression completely stunned. “You serious?” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Shit, man...” His eyes closed behind his shades. “I knew that guy was into some weird shit, but... Didn’t know he was thinkin’ about stuff like that.”

“Well...” I wasn’t quite sure what to say... It would probably be best for Takemaru to just hear it from Yugamu himself. It might help him open his heart a little...

“What about Darumi?”

I peered through the small window, watching the fluids bubble and flow through the tubes of the Revive-O-Matic. “I don’t know, to be honest... Maybe she was feeling a similar way. Maybe it wasn’t that deep to her, and it was really just for fun...” I closed my eyes. “I’m going to ask Hiruko to look after her until she wakes up—will you look after Yugamu?”

“Me?”

“Yeah—you don’t mind that, do you?”

“Well...” He was scratching his hair. “I don’t mind—ain’t you his best pal, though?”

I smiled. As much as I’d like to be there when Yugamu woke up, and hear him say, “See? I told you it would be all right, ehehe...”—it’s time I bowed out and took my graceful exit, too. “I am—but that’s why it’ll be boring if I’m there when he wakes up. I think it’ll make him happy if you’re there, instead.”

“Geez...” He blew a raspberry with his lips. “All right, damnit—stupid Pretty Boy, he better have a damn good explanation when his stupid ass wakes up...” He grumbled, throwing open the door to the Infirmary, marching in with his hands shoved in his pockets like a disgruntled Grandpa... “Fuckin’ dumbass...” He kicked the coffin where Yugamu’s body was healing in the hemoanima fluid, but he barely put any power behind it at all... “Hurry up and wake the fuck up so I can punch you myself, idiot... What happened to, ‘Life is precious’, huh?”

I couldn’t help but smile, peering in through the coffin windows as Yugamu and Darumi’s peaceful faces were artfully reconstructed... Takemaru was watching like a hawk, his arms firmly crossed while he grumbled to himself. Honestly, I thought it seemed like an odd combination at first, but... I kinda get it now. Geez—knowing Yugamu, when he wakes up he’ll probably say something like, “Oh, my—have I died and gone to Muscle Heaven, where all the angels are total studs? Ehehe...” Or something like that... hopefully he comes up with something a little more smooth, that was the best I got...

I found myself touching the cool glass, taking in Darumi’s rare calm expression. Even though she was just messing with me, I hope I got through to her just a little... Well, it wouldn’t hurt to give her a little prayer while she was being reborn—hemoanima works in mysterious ways. “You are worthy, you are enough, you are loved...”

百

Hiruko was waiting outside her room, impatiently tapping her heel.

“I couldn’t help but notice two unsightly blood splatters under my favorite lookout spot...” Her gaze sharpened as her eyes swept over us, me carrying Darumi in a piggyback, and Takemaru carrying Yugamu... “Care to explain, boys?”

I walked up to her, turning so she could see Darumi’s sleeping face. The Revive-O-Matic even reconstructed her elaborate makeup... “You can ask Darumi when she wakes up—would you mind keeping an eye on her tonight?”

Her eyes narrowed behind her glasses. “You sound awfully calm about all this, Leader.”

Takemaru sighed loudly, more like a grunt. “Dumbasses wanted to jump off the roof for fun. Takumi was just makin’ sure the Revive-O-Matics picked ‘em up, so don’t bite his head off.” He trudged past her, making his way to the row of huts in the back. “I got this guy—you just keep an eye on Clown Girl, okay?”

Hiruko huffed. “I don’t recall—” She just let herself trail off, as Takemaru was already out of earshot, anyway. “Hmph.” She pushed up her glasses. “Well, of course I’ll keep an eye on Darumi—I don’t need you to give me orders, Takumi.” So stubborn...

“Glad to hear it.” I walked past her to Darumi’s room. “They shouldn’t be out too long—the process was pretty quick, I heard it took a lot longer for the Revive-O-Matic to reconstruct me...”

“It did—a leader shouldn’t be so reckless.” She stood outside Darumi’s door, her arms crossed. I carefully took the stairs one at a time, trying not to jostle Darumi around too much...

Hiruko just stood there. “Um... Could you open the door, please?”

She glared sharply. “Isn’t it customary for a gentleman to open the door for a lady?”

I sighed. “I don’t want to drop her...” I carefully turned to the side, shifting Darumi’s weight on my back while I freed my hand to twist the doorknob—I just barely managed to push the door open before I felt Darumi slipping, and I quickly snapped my hand back to her leg to keep her secure. “... After you, Miss Hiruko...”

She grinned. “That’s more like it.” Heugh—what a scary expression. “Perhaps you’d like to be added to my kennel, doggie?”

“Ugh—no, thank you.” I walked over to Darumi’s bed, turning around to carefully lower her from my back. Couldn’t be me—I like to avoid humiliation and pain. Actually... Now that I think about it, Eito did try to pull a power play on me when he demanded an apology that one time—but when I actually did it he was more put-off than anything, he literally said, “You actually did it...” Maybe he wanted me to put up more of a fight and snap back, who knows... But honestly, this Eito seems like he’d like it more if I ordered him around... hmm. No, no—I have to wield my power responsibly...

“Hmph.” Hiruko huffed in pure disgust. “And what untoward thing is our team leader thinking about now, in the presence of an unconscious woman?”

“Nothing like that—trust me.” Well... I guess “Mistress Hiruko” would know better than anyone... “... I was just wondering if a certain other someone would like getting ordered around a little.”

“Keep dreaming.” She smirked cruelly, her hands planted firmly on her hips. “You don’t have a Queen’s bone in your body—now get out of my sight, worm.”

“... Yes, ma’am.” Gah—how’d she do that?!

百

Haah... I can’t believe Hiruko got me. Maybe there was a secret side to me that I never knew about... Gah—now’s not the time to be thinking about that.

I coughed into my fist, centering myself with a deep breath. Get out all the stupid idle thoughts... And... Showtime.

I knocked on the door. “Eito?” I listened, but didn’t hear any movement inside. He might still be asleep, or maybe he was in the shower. “Hello? It’s me...” He told me to wake up him, so... I rang the bell for good measure. I don’t hear the shower... Maybe he already got up and went to go get something to eat.

“... is that you, Takumi?” I could just barely hear his raised voice—he must still be laying in bed.

“Yeah, it’s me!” I raised my voice just enough. “Um—if you want to sleep some more, I can come back another time...”

“No, it’s fine...” I finally heard movement inside, then his door unlocked. He smiled at me tiredly. “Hello, Takumi... Time sure does fly, haha...” He weakly wrapped his arms around me, practically collapsing into me like I had done this morning. “Hmm...” He rested his cheek on top of my head, holding onto me a little more snugly. “Look, I’m recharging on you already, haha...”

“Did you sleep pretty well?”

“... To be honest, I was drifting in and out...” His voice still sounded a little raspy. “... hmm... now that you’re here, it would be a waste to just go back to bed... Look, I’m getting a second wind!”

I laughed a bit. “Well... I’m still a little tired, too, honestly... Do you mind if I just lay down with you?”

“Hmmm... that sounds nice...” Geez—he sounded like he was falling asleep on his feet.

“Okay...” I tried to walk through the doorway with him still clinging to me, closing and locking the door out of habit.

“Oh... you should have Sirei make you a copy of my room key...” He yawned above my head. “Oh, dear... I’d like one of yours, too, but he probably wouldn’t give it to me...”

“Probably not... We could try to make one with the Gift-O-Matic, but that seems like kind of a huge oversight if it actually works...”

“Haha... Yes, I imagine the girls wouldn’t be thrilled if a little gremlin like Gaku could make a copy of their room keys...” I rolled my eyes—that would be a disaster waiting to happen. Though Gaku was actually coming around to considering the girls’ feelings more lately... Maybe there was hope for a little gremlin like him after all.

I pat Eito’s arm. “Okay—you need to let me go just for a second so I can get changed.”

“Hmm... All right, Takumi.” He reluctantly let me go, shuffling over to sit on the edge of the bed, smiling up at me half-lidded. He was bundled up in thick grey sweatpants like it was the middle of winter...

“Do you normally wear stuff like that to bed?” I slung my jacket over the back of his chair, pulling off my hoodie. 

“Hmm? Oh, yes... I can get quite cold at night, you see...” He absently fingered the hem of his thick sweatshirt. “I can take this off, if you prefer...”

“It doesn’t matter to me—whatever makes you comfortable.” I decided to just keep my shirt on, stripping down to my boxers... I was actually looking forward to just laying down and relaxing, I wasn’t really in the mood for “sexy time”... It had been quite a day.

“... I see.” He yawned into his hand. “Oh, my, excuse me... Would you like some chamomile tea, Takumi?”

I snickered. “You can just lay down—I said I’d make it, right? You don’t have to play host when you’re that tired.”

“Hmm... All right.” He flipped back the covers, crawling into bed. He even had on thick fuzzy socks. I guess he really wasn’t secretly expecting me to stay the night... Or he was, he just didn’t want to look too desperate. Haah... With Eito, it was impossible to say. “Hmm... I don’t need any tea... come in, it’s all warmed up for you...” He was smoothing his hand on the sheets, giving me plenty of room.

“Thanks.” I snickered a bit, then got into bed. I’d probably eventually get too warm snuggled up to him when he had so many layers on... but it’d be nice for a little bit.

He wrapped one arm around me loosely, settling into the pillow. He hadn’t bothered to put his glasses on when he answered the door, I noticed. “... Are you happy with the way today went, Takumi?”

I was caught off-guard by such a domestic question—I wasn’t complaining, it was just somewhat surreal to hear Eito essentially say, “How was your day, dear?” This was the guy that Yugamu said still had a “killer instinct”? “I think so, yeah—everything went as well as it could’ve.” I yawned into my hand. “Oh, man... I guess I’m more tired than I thought.”

“Hehe... Well, you can just stay the night.”

“Thanks... I might do that. Maybe we can go get a midnight snack later...” I let my eyes close... 

I could hear something humming in his room... Oh, that must be the mini-fridge he requested. It wasn’t unpleasant... just white noise...

... I wish I didn’t have that thought just now, about his “killer instinct”... I was trying to put it out of my mind. But with Yugamu and Darumi both agreeing that they could feel it, I couldn’t just afford to dismiss it out-of-pocket...

“... What’s the matter, Takumi?” Eito wrapped his arm around me a little more snugly. “I’m not about to fall asleep right away... I’ll listen if there’s anything you want to talk about.”

I found myself just staring absently at the stitch pattern of his grey sweatshirt. It didn’t look worn and cozy, but stiff and well-taken care of, like he had just bought it... “You played Quiet Hill II, right?”

He laughed lightly. “I can’t say I expected you to ask me that... Did I say that? I don’t remember...”

“Well—you mentioned a ‘letter’ from a dead person and a ‘special place’, it just seemed a little specific to be random...”

“Hmm... Well, I did play it, that was one of the games that nurse gave me...” He snuggled a little closer to me. “Sometimes I wanted a break from reading books, and I suppose at the time a ‘psychological horror’ narrative might’ve appealed to me...” He snickered. [A/N: In a Free Time event in the library, First Eito says he sometimes reads horror novels as exposure therapy.] “Although, who knows if I ever really played that game at all... An eccentric scientist might’ve just decided to plug that memory into my brain, haha...”

I couldn’t think of anything to say to that.

“... Why, Takumi?” His quiet voice tickled the top of my hair. “Is that your segue into what you really want to ask me?”

I buried my face in his chest, my trapped breath hot on my nose. I don’t know... I don’t know what I want to ask him. “Why have you been acting so weird lately? What was with that sad look when I suggested we all live together? Why did the others warn me about your inner darkness? Why does it feel like you’re a million miles away, even though you’re right next to me? Why are you trying so hard if you’re not intending to stick around? Why do I feel like you’re stabbing me in the back for the third time? What part of you are you trying to ‘kill’?”

“... What are you hiding from me?”

He ran his fingers through my hair, slowly and tiredly. “... We’ve both decided to hide things that are difficult to swallow, for the other person’s sake... isn’t that right, Takumi?”

A hot tear stung my eye. “I’ll tell you everything—I didn’t want to keep it from you anyway, even the stuff that’ll hurt the most—I’ll tell you, so just don’t keep things from me—”

“Ah—Takumi.” He wrapped his arm around me, almost in a panic. “... I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said it that way...”

“Stop apologizing—you’re just trying to absolve yourself.” I wrenched my fingers in the front of his sweatshirt. “If you felt bad, you wouldn’t lie to me in the first place...”

The room was quiet, the mini-fridge humming in the corner...

My whole face scrunched, another humiliating tear welling up while I hid away in his sweatshirt.

“... All right. Come with me—it will be better just to show you.” His arm slunk away from me, and he lifted back the covers. The sudden coolness of the air on my bare arms almost made me shiver.

“... Right now?”

“Yes. Right now.” He sat up, and his voice didn’t sound tired anymore. “Before I change my mind.” He smiled down at me sadly. “We can grab some coffee from the cafeteria on the way if you need it—we’ll be traveling quite a ways on foot.”

“What—where?!” I pushed myself up. “Outside the school?”

“Yes—I promise it will all make sense.” His hand moved, as if he was going to push his glasses up... “Ah—I’m not wearing my glasses.” He smiled down at me, his eyes half-lidded. “Haha... You know, when I’m looking at you, Takumi, I almost can’t even tell...”

“... Is that a good thing?”

“Hmm... I wonder?” He reached past me, picking up his glasses from a case on the table. “Well—I’m going to get changed, I don’t mind if you wait here.” He pulled his sweatshirt off over his head, carefully folding it up. He had a white long-sleeved shirt underneath.

“... Where exactly are we going?”

“You won’t believe me until you see it for yourself.” He pulled his shirt off over his head, his pale skin catching the burning orange from the sunset out the window.

百

I stopped in my tracks as he grabbed the fire extinguisher from the front hallway.

“You’re freaking me out—tell me where we’re going right now, or I’m not taking another step.”

He smiled at me sadly. “I’d prefer not to say it on school grounds. You never know who could be listening.” He started turning the valve to open the massive front doors. “Just be a little patient, Takumi... Please.”

I realized I was clenching my fists in my pockets, but I couldn’t relax. This whole thing was raising so many alarm bells... but I couldn't turn back, I just had to know. Should I tell someone else I was going off alone with Eito? This was really stupid... I almost felt like I was doing the stupidest thing on purpose, to desperately try to prove to myself that I could trust him...

The sky was already darkening as we walked across the courtyard. I peered back up at the school, half-expecting someone to be staring down at us from one of the windows... Honestly, if Yugamu wasn’t out of commission, his spider senses probably would’ve been tingling off the charts...

I silently walked with Eito towards the wall of fire, our shoes scraping across the dusty ground... He hadn’t even transformed into his Class Armor yet.

“You know, First Eito conked me on the head and left me for dead out in the desert... That’s how I ended up at Second-to-Last in the first place, Nigou came to my rescue...”

“Haha... How sweet.” Eito smiled brightly. “He got the jump on you and had you in such a vulnerable position, but he couldn’t bring himself to kill you... Thank you for the First Eito blackmail, Takumi.” He sighed wistfully. “Truly, the gift that keeps on giving...”

“Do you understand what I’m telling you?”

He set down the fire extinguisher. “Of course I do... I just thought it went without saying.” He smiled at me, then put both hands on my shoulders. “You have my word, Takumi—I have no intention of harming you, nor am I leading you into some kind of trap...” He was looking right into my eyes, but his brows still sloped. “But, I can’t guarantee that what you see won’t upset you...”

I gripped his arms. “Then tell me—right now.”

He peered past me, over my head. “It doesn’t look like we were followed...” He smiled down at me, the flickering Undying Flames behind him casting a purple shadow on the wispy ends of his hair. “You know... Our timeline just branched again, Takumi. Can you feel it?” His eyes scrunched a bit behind his glasses. “Somewhere out there, there’s a me who never had any intention of showing you what I’m about to show you.” His eyes were shining. “I shouldered these hideous deeds all on my own, and once you found out what I was doing, you surely felt so angry, and hurt, and betrayed... I’m sure you never forgave me, and I punished myself with that feeling forever and ever!” He sounded downright giddy...

The heat from the Undying Flames was unbearable, it was making my eyes water... “So tell me... Please.”

His eyes were sparkling with an almost childlike wonder. “We’re going to another timeline to kill myself, Takumi!”

The gears in my brain locked up. “What?”

百

百

百

Gaah sorry to do this to y’all, but this chapter was long asf already!

The whole impetus for the karaoke scene was discovering that there’s a Japanese cover of “Careless Whisper” by Hideki Saijo XD Believe it or not, that was going to be Mr. Sirei’s song—but I like the new direction much better ;) I was initially going to just have Takumi sing a meme song like “Never Gonna Give You Up” or “A Cruel Angel’s Thesis”, but since FFX-2 was brought up in the comments, I felt like I had to XD I actually prefer the Japanese version by Koda Kumi, but went with the English version purely for the lyrics, “Forward is the only way my heart can go.” 🥲 [Update: Everyone’s song choices are listed in the comments! ^_^]

Okay, so—I was looking through Eito’s sprites and CGs for a drawing, and saw this ominous shot from the Casual route of him looking up from inside his cage, so I decided to check it out... Not Takumi comparing Eito to Hannibal Lecter X’D In Silence of the Lambs, Dr. Lecter did develop genuine respect and affection towards Clarice, once she decided to be vulnerable with him to her own detriment, knowing full well how dangerous it was to arm a master manipulator like him with her inner pain... She defanged him by openly showing him her throat, and admitting that she didn’t know if saving this one girl, or anyone else, would finally “make the lambs stop screaming” for her—but she still had to do it anyway. Once Dr. Lecter finally got a hold of something he could really turn against her, he realized he didn’t actually want to hurt her after all... So, Takumi’s saying Eitaku is canon? X’D

And that wasn’t all for the Casual route, girls—my crackship of Takemaru/Yugamu was vindicated XD I didn’t know a game of Old Maid could be so homoerotic X’D Good Lord—not Darumi shipping them, too! Truly a woman after my own heart lmao

I know some of y’all were already riding the Takegamu train! (I don’t know if they’re popular enough to even have a ship name LOL) I don’t know what it is—the more I thought about it, the more I thought they’d be a good match ^_^ They’re both easily misunderstood, with a rough-around-the-edges surface layer that others find difficult to deal with—but inside they’re total sweeties who mean well (Yugamu more readily able to admit and show as much lol, so he can help Takemaru relax a lil and not feel like he has to keep the tough guy façade up at all times). I feel like they’d have a more equal partnership—I dunno, I just picture Takemaru working hard and being a surprisingly good Dad, and Yugamu finding fulfilment as doctor while also getting to indulge his house-husband fantasy—I can just imagine them wearing kimono in a traditional-style house drinking sake and moon-gazing like old men 😭 There were a few other lines here and there hinting at a lil something-something—like when Gaku drags all the guys into his nasty-ass room in Coming-of-Age just to gossip about the girls, and Takemaru’s all, “Man, fuck this guy up, Yugamu” and he’s like, “As you command, bby—I brought my biggest needle, eheh” (paraphrasing XD) And if Takemaru sacrifices himself for the Undying Flame Bomb, Yugamu says, “Takemaru was a good guy who looked out for everyone, he’ll be sorely missed.” D’X (Thanks, Cult of Takumi route...) And, well... Yugamu does have a few lines that imply he’s a size queen XD

Whew—this was the longest chapter by far (37k words!), so I’m glad it’s finally out! The updates will probably be a lil slower for a while, but the bubble was bound to burst sometime lol. Also... I have some ideas for a bonus chapter from other peeps’ perspectives 👀 Have you guys ever seen Deftones’ music video for “Sextape”? I ask for no particular reason... 🧜‍♀️ 🪷

Thanks for reading, see ya next time~

Chapter Text

Chapter 17 — Something Very Wrong

◑ ● ◐

The previous night, Day 16...

◑ ● ◐

All parameters set... The bloodwave will be open until 1600 hours four days from now... Plenty of time.

I carefully inspected the leap suit again after putting it on... No holes or frayed seams. The seal on the helmet was airtight.

I punched in the final coordinates on the console, and the massive machine whirred to life, distorting the air with a low hum. I stepped onto the platform, feeling every particle around me trembling...

I closed my eyes as my physical body was sucked through an incomprehensible wormhole, an uncountable number of parallel timelines surging past me like an unrelenting maelstrom.

I̶̞̫̩͇͋͗̊̊͛̌͐̉̇͋Ț̵͔̖̩̙͉̹̌́̄͊A̸̡̨̟̱͚̳̍̍͘ ̵̯͕͙̦͎̙̇͂Ű̷͙̣͉̙̩̩̖͖̦̦̱͂̋͊͋͒̆̾̕͝͝T̶̙̹̲̺̪̈̿̑͜ ̷̢͍̪͇̦̜͈͓̓̈́͂I̸̡̲͚͙̾̾̽̒Ḑ̴̛̭̗̭̆͛̋̆͂͊͜͝ ̸̲̞̋̒͌́̚Q̶̗͚̹̠̭̤̟̦̊͆̇̐̎̒́͊̚U̷͇̣͚̱͇̭̩̫̼͗̇̔̉͜Ö̸͈́̓͋̈͌͒̊̚͘̚͠D̷̢̦͎͕͖̮̬̥͗̽͂̑̉̋́̃͠ ̴̡̜̤̹͕͈͚̪̔́̓͝͠T̴͕̞̭̣̈͂̽Ę̵͔͕̯͉̊̐́̈́̔͋͠͠ ̷̧͕̳̭̮̩̹̈́E̶͕̘̗͖̺͖̲̟̣̤͋̅͛̐ͅL̴̘̻͕̯͎̻̥̮̭͌͆̑́̈́̉͑̈́́̕͜͜͝Ḛ̵̢̨̱͉̩͙̮̩̩̂̎̂͂G̴̣͈͍͔̻̺̣͙͉̏̿̄͝Ḯ̴̡̧͎̜͖̬̭͖͛̋̈́͗̓̍̂̀͠͝Ṡ̷̰̱̪T̷̲̗̣̓̓̋͑̈́̔̽̐͝Ḭ̵̮̯͎͎̀͜͝S̸͍͎͙̳̤̥̏̍ͅ.̸̡̛̠̣̠̖̄̑͗̋̆͊

Another firework went off... The sudden burst of sound and the shockwave in the air made me flinch even through the leap suit. 

“WoOW!” The shriller of the two shambling abominations shrieked into the night, marveling up at the colorful display. “i cAn fEEl whEn TheY buRST in ThE sKY, ima!” 

“... iT is QUitE soMetHinG... i’M glAD wE CoUlD fiNalLy seE rEaL FIREworKs lIKE tHis, SISTER...” The other disgusting monstrosity appeared to be gazing up at the sky next to her. They did all look different to me... Rather than featureless mounds of rotting flesh and exploded organs held together by sinew, the twins that I knew resembled broken and water-damaged dolls... Perhaps the more time I spent around them, the more their appearances resembled “something”... something specific to my perception of them. But that had never happened before... My whole life, the only person whose appearance had ever changed was Takumi’s.

“... I never thought I’d get to watch fireworks with you like this.”

I’d recognize his voice even if I was hearing it from the bottom of the ocean. It was the only one which didn’t make my stomach churn. Although he resembled the disgusting pile of offal he was before coming back a second time... But I’d recognize that disgusting pile even if I was blind.

“Oh? Is it really so surprising, Takumi?” I bristled involuntarily hearing my voice coming from someone else... At least talking to my other self and First Eito was a trick of hemoanima—I wasn’t “hearing” them so much as instantly perceiving what they were meaning to convey. This one doesn’t sound like me at all...

The other Takumi’s disgusting visage took on a tinge of shyness... It was easy for me to tell. “Well... it was your cognitive disorder that made it so difficult to be around us, right?” He scratched his neck with those wet shreds of meat that passed for a hand. “I’m just glad we were able to cure you... It must’ve been hard for you to have to suffer so much around other people until now.” Even if he wasn’t my little skeleton Takumi, a wall of protectiveness shot up on its own seeing him being so unguarded around that sniveling doppelganger of mine. 

The Liar Eito’s expression softened just a microscopic amount. “Wow—you really are a nice guy, Takumi!” He made a big, showy wink... “I didn’t know you cared so much about me!” There it was. Takumi—you already know what it means when Eito freezes up and tells you what a nice guy you are... You’ve seen it before. And you swallowed that bad feeling in your gut once before...

“Stop...” Hearing this Takumi’s light laugh only made me miss my Takumi... “I’m being serious.”

That liar held his hand over his heart, as if Takumi’s words even stirred him one iota. “I’m being serious as well, Takumi... I never thought something like this would be possible for me, either.” His false smile spread wide over his face. “Just a couple of guys sharing their deepest feelings beneath the fireworks on a hot summer night... This is what friendship is all about, right?” He gave Takumi another disgusting wink...

... ah. I could tell Takumi was hesitating—then all at once he threw his fleshy appendages around that liar, hiding his bloated face in his shoulder. “... I’m glad. Not just so you can be around us—I’m glad you have the chance to live a normal life from now on. It must’ve been hard being controlled by a condition you couldn’t help...”

My other self was stunned. I can only imagine how cloying and choking that Takumi’s stench was, how grating his voice was to his ears—how disgusting it must feel to have that wrap itself around you so forcefully... I’m sure it took every ounce of self-control not to shove that thing away from him... He looked how I imagine I looked when my Takumi went right up to the bars of my cage, telling me things I didn’t want to hear about my other self... things I couldn’t deny.

Just get away from him, Takumi—don’t waste your pity. He’s just deceiving all of you, his hatred and resentment towards you is only growing exponentially by the day—having to endure your pity and indulge in your arrogant notion that you “cured” him is maddening to him, every day is scraping against his dwindling sanity with a rusty knife. You’re too kind, Takumi—you’re letting yourself be fooled just because you desperately want it to be true. If you could see how badly he was shaking from having to suffer your overwhelming presence up close, you’d understand...

The liar’s hand was shaking as he raised it...

He rested his palm on Takumi’s slimy soldier.

“Thank you, Takumi...” Hearing my own voice quiver like that... “You really are kind.”

... Stop it. He’s just lying—he’ll only stab you in the back, turn everyone against you, and kill you all as soon as he gets the chance. He’s playing the long game and suffering your odious presence because that’s how much he hates you, just like every other human alive—because there’s something wrong with his brain. The hatred is what keeps him going, his desire to punish you with righteous fury and wipe you off the face of this planet is the only balm that can possibly soothe that deep, festering wound that keeps being picked every time you talk to him, Takumi—just get away from him. You’re the kind of person he hates the most—sickeningly and condescendingly sincere. He can’t wait to make you suffer, just as badly as he’s suffered, and then some... I have to kill him.

I have to take him out before he hurts anyone else, I have to kill him before this timeline goes off the rails—before he shakes Takumi’s faith in believing in others. He’s nothing but scum, just like First Eito—he doesn’t deserve your kindness or a second chance. He’ll only hurt you in the end, and he’ll relish doing it... I know him better than anyone else. I know him, because I was him. Because... I am him. That’s why I have to kill myself. Because Takumi’s too kind to do it.

So—just do it. I could execute him any number of ways—I could hide out in his room and kill him once he’s asleep—his guard is down because everyone in this timeline genuinely believes he’s been cured, even Sirei. If I keep the leap suit on, he won’t be able to hurt me even if he manages to use his Infuser—it will be so easy to crack him over the head, or strangle him, or slit his throat... So, just do it. Stop watching, and just go sneak into his room... He deserves it, he’s deceitful, he’s malicious, he’s dangerous... So just do it...!

Takumi was holding him close... “I really wish we could’ve helped the Eito from my first timeline, too... But I’m glad we could help you now.”

... ah. I didn’t want to see it. A flicker of doubt flashed across that liar’s face.

Stop—how dare that scum put his arms around someone trusting him so sincerely, who only wants the best for him altruistically—just stop it. That look doesn’t mean anything—I know just what you’re thinking, Eito, what you’re planning on doing—so don’t pretend that your heart has been stirred, that there’s even one atom of doubt in your mind—that you could possibly live like this for real even if there’s still something very wrong with your brain.

I slunk back against the shadow of the school building. Distorted laughter and pops from the sparklers still echoed in my ears. So... this is what that sly Hiruko meant.

“It’s easy to kill the ones who ‘deserve it’—but do you have the guts to kill yourself when you might change your mind?”

I could still hear the distant explosion from the fireworks behind me, but I could no longer feel the impact. Eventually, all I could hear was the boots of the leap suit scraping over dry earth, on the long trek back to the Parallel Leap Machine.

◑ ● ◐

I lingered outside Takumi’s door for a moment, then dragged myself back to my room.

I felt dusty all over, like the whole desert was clinging to me, but I couldn’t muster the energy to shower... I shoved my dirty clothes into the hamper, feverishly running a comb back through my hair to shake all the dust out. I washed my hands twice, then my face... Even with a clean pajama set, it disgusted me to crawl into bed like this...

Finally my heavy eyelids closed. I felt like dust was sloughing off every inch of me, like soot off of Takumi’s burned skeleton... What’s wrong with me? That liar Eito was only going to hurt them in the end, he was only going to turn everyone against Takumi then kill them all, taking advantage of their kindness and lying to their faces every day... So, why couldn’t I kill him? What happened to me...

My brain was swimming in my skull, I couldn’t calm my thoughts—I couldn’t stop the feeling that I was muddying my pristine sheets, rolling around in dirt and dust and breathing it all in—my heartbeat was quickening, I couldn’t stand it but I was too exhausted to move... Why couldn’t I go through with it, why couldn’t I kill him when I had the chance? Why should his measly life matter one bit when it means I can be cured... when it means the next Eito after me can be cured?

I can’t breathe—too shallow, not enough air... Takumi will never forgive me, it’ll all be over once he finds out—only the next Eito will get a shot at a normal life. Somewhere out there, there’s a me that got everything he wanted... good for him.

I clutched my wildly-beating heart, trying to regain control of my breathing... It’s not fair. My other self did all the hard work for me... now I’m doing all the hard work for someone else. Why can’t it be me? Why couldn’t I kill myself when I had the chance?! What’s wrong with me...

I curled up into myself, my body feeling foreign. It’s not fair... it’s just not fair... if I can’t even live the way I want after doing all this—then I might as well just die. It’s the same either way...

“Haa... haah...” I swallowed down the disgusting sour spit in my mouth. I should’ve knocked on his door—I can’t take this anymore. “... I can’t take this... I don’t know what to do, haha...”

百

Day 17, evening...

百

I stopped in front of the run-down concrete building, overgrown by bushes and long grass, half its roof taken over by wild ivy. “What is this...? I’ve never come across this place exploring...”

“Is that so?” Eito strolled right through a worn path in the long grass, pulling open the warped metal door. “I suppose ‘you’ haven’t... But there must be a timeline out there in which Hiruko showed you this place herself.”

“You keep talking about ‘other timelines’...” I tentatively followed him into the building, trying to swallow the intense “we shouldn’t be here” vibes. “What does that have to do with...” The words died on my lips—in the center of the warehouse-like room was a giant... machine, of some kind. It looked like a round stage with another glowing disc mirroring it on the ceiling, with tubes sticking out here and there... A podium stood next to it, with what looked like a computer console built in.

Eito pushed up his glasses. “I assume that by telling me about this lab, that means she’s finally willing to be forthcoming with you, as well... Haha...” He gave me a sad smile. “Although, perhaps she expected me to keep this all to myself after all. I suppose we’ll find out when we confront her about it...”

“Hold on—slow down.” I licked my lips. “—what is this place? Why does Hiruko know about it?”

Eito gestured to the console. “Take a look.”

I tentatively padded up to the screen... The display looked somewhat like a flowchart going from left to right, and I noticed sequential numbers across the top X-axis. “... What is this?”

Eito selected one of the nodes on a touch screen. The label ‘Coming-of-Age’ appeared, along with ‘Day 55’. “This may not be as difficult for you to accept, since First Eito has already told you about the existence of other timelines... But that’s what’s displayed here.” He peered up at the large sci-fi looking machine in the ceiling. “Apparently this device is called the ‘Parallel Leap Machine’. Hiruko discovered it, and she’s been using it to jump to different timelines ever since.”

“... You’re serious, aren’t you?” As outlandish as it was... stranger things have already happened so far. “So... when Shion and First Eito mentioned ‘bloodspace’...”

“Exactly—this machine can ride the ‘bloodspace waves’ to take us to different timelines—but only as far as the surge extends.” He zoomed back out to the flowchart at large. “Apparently, this machine initially only allowed you to move vertically through the flowchart, to the same day on another timeline—hence the name ‘parallel leap’. But Hiruko recently received a schematic to upgrade the machine so that it can move backwards and forwards, within a limited capacity...” He rubbed his chin. “I’d be quite fascinated to know just who exactly gave her that schematic—but it seems that even she doesn’t know. Some old woman in a lab coat...”

My lips and throat were feeling so dry... “When was this? When did Hiruko even have time to do all this?”

He winked. “Well, that’s what we’ll have to find out from her, won’t we, Takumi?” I can’t believe how well he’s taking all this at face value... “She was still awfully cagey when I confronted her about it... She only told me about the machine’s existence and how it works. Although it is quite straightforward...” His expression became stony. “Apparently there’s a me out there who ran away and discovered this lab by happenstance, and figured out how to jump to another timeline all on his own to wreak havoc...”

“Wait—that was actually true?”

“Oh... You know about that already, Takumi?” Eito pushed up his glasses. “... I suppose First Eito probably told you.”

“Well—he told me there was a timeline that went ‘off the rails’, and that a you from a different timeline jumped in just to punish me...” I clammed up. I guess there was no use hiding it... he’d probably already seen it for himself on this device. “... Apparently, there’s a timeline out there where I decided you were too dangerous to let live on that second day... that’s why he went to that timeline, just to punish me for that.” I bit my lip. “I’m sorry.”

Eito touched my shoulder. “Don’t be sorry, Takumi. I’m sure that me deserved it.”

“How can you say that about your own self?”

His brows sloped sadly. “Because I understand myself better than anyone else.”

... I couldn’t put it aside anymore—what he said before we left through the wall of fire had been bothering me this whole agonizing walk here. “... What did you mean when you said we’re going to another timeline to ‘kill yourself’?”

He wasn’t looking at me, just smoothly typing things into the console. “Exactly what it sounds like, Takumi.” He pushed up his glasses. “But... Since I’ve decided to take you along with me, I’ll let you decide for yourself what we should do when we get there.”

He worked silently for a minute. What am I supposed to make of this...

“Just... why?”

He finished a few more keystrokes, then I heard a deep, whirring noise... something was happening with the machine. “Well, Takumi... The short answer is, that if there’s any hope of curing my cognitive disorder at all, we need the other Eitos’ brains.”

An unsettling warbling echoed around the room, it felt like time and space itself was distorting. “Your brains?! What—as a specimen?”

He pulled what looked like a thumb drive out of his jacket pocket. “To be specific, we need the data from their brains to serve as a base for this ‘brain glitch removal program’. Apparently Hiruko received it from Sirei—but not in this timeline.”

“What? When?”

He smiled wryly. “Well—it’s my suspicion that Hiruko’s been at this a lot longer than she lets on. Perhaps at some point, she even leapt back from a different timeline altogether...” Every molecule in the air was vibrating—the noise from the machine was starting to make me feel sick. “Now... Let’s get ready for departure.” Eito went over to a row of lockers at the back of the room, pulling out what looked like a heavy diving suit... “Put this on—this one’s seen the least use, but I’d still like to inspect it to make sure there aren’t any holes or frays.”

I took the suit from him, moving automatically in a daze. “We’re really doing this?”

He smiled brightly. “Well, you asked me what I’ve been hiding from you, Takumi! So I want to show you.” He took out another suit. “Don’t worry—I’ve done this myself already. As long as you have this suit on, you can ride the bloodwave without any fear—it’s made to repel hemoanima.”

“Repel it?”

“Yes—so be aware, if we get into a sticky situation out in the wilderness, we won’t be able to use our Infusers unless we take off the suits.” He helped me into the suit, which sucked in and formed a seal around my body—whoa. “But—that also means any hemoanima attack will just bounce right off of us.” He carefully inspected the suit from all angles, making sure there wasn’t any damage. “Good... This suit passes inspection.” He smiled, handing me this huge diving helmet... “You don’t want to be exposed to bloodspace without something to repel the hemoanima surge—Hiruko warned me that the human body can only suffer so much ‘leap damage’ before it completely falls apart, so making this journey isn’t without its risks. But apparently the symptoms are immediate and obvious, so I’m confident in saying I haven’t suffered any adverse effects. It’s just a matter of being diligent.”

I fit the helmet over my head, and it made an airtight seal. Oxygen started flowing into the suit... I was still feeling numb from accepting wave after wave of impossible explanations, but feeling this suit tighten around me and hearing my own breathing trapped behind this helmet made my nerves spike.

“Is this really safe?”

He put his hands on my shoulders, I could still feel it even through the thickness of the suit. “It’s about as risky as doing anything else—driving a car, crossing the street. I’d say that as long as we take the proper precautions, doing this is more safe than any of the fighting we’ve done up until now.” He smiled down at me. “I’ll be with you the whole time, Takumi—you can even hold my hand to make sure we won’t be separated!”

I swallowed. “Is that a possibility?”

He laughed. “I don’t think so—this machine is very precise.” He gave my shoulders a little squeeze, finally going to change into his own suit. It also stretched to fit around his body once he put it on. “Ah—but you should know that these suits are only about as physically sturdy as a hazmat suit, so we could still be stabbed with a spear or other bladed object. But that’s true of our frail human bodies, anyway.” He smiled, more patiently. “I don’t want to overwhelm you with information, so I think that’s all that’s necessary to know for now.” He nodded to the stage, where a growing distortion was melting the air. “Go ahead and stand on the platform. I’ll join you momentarily.”

My fingers were shaking in the thick gloves of the suit, as I stepped into the distortion. Even through the helmet, I could hear the vibration of the soundwaves.

Eito closed the console, donning his helmet and stepping onto the platform. “Here we go.” His voice was distorted and unrecognizable behind the helmet. “Ah—there’s a voice-changer function in case we run into anyone else, and want to disguise our identity.” He slid open a small panel in the base of the helmet, pressing a button. “There.” His normal voice came out, although it still sounded far away. “It’ll be all right, Takumi.” He clasped my hand through the thick gloves of the suits. “I’ve done this before—we’ll be fine.”

My heart was still beating wildly—I squeezed my eyes shut, clutching desperately to his hand. I felt the air warble all around me, and a deafening low sound like a whale song resounded in my head...

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I was sucked through a violent whirlpool, my body felt like it was surging through space and time just like when I went back—my eyes were still closed, the only thing keeping me from being torn apart by the pressure was Eito clasping my hand...

The warbling noise receded slowly, the blinding red light behind my eyelids fading... My whole body felt warm, even through the protection of the suit. Eito never let go of my hand.

“We’re here... We made it safe and sound.”

I finally opened my eyes... We were back in the lab. Sparkling particles were blinking all around us as the energy in the machine drained away...

Eito squeezed my hand. “See—that wasn’t so bad!” He stepped off the platform, taking off his helmet. “Ahh... Would you mind taking yours off, Takumi, so I can make sure there wasn’t any leap damage?”

I stepped off the platform in a daze, feeling like I just stepped off a spinning carnival ride and forgot what solid ground felt like...

“Ah... How do I do this?”

“It’s that panel I showed you—just slide it to the side, the large button will unlock the seal on the helmet.”

I did as I was told, and I felt the pressure release... I took off my helmet, shaking out my hair.

“... oh.” He laughed awkwardly. “I suppose I don’t know what you normally look like, Takumi...” His brows sloped sadly. “Maybe you should look at yourself in the mirror... Apparently the leap damage resembles a sunburn, and your veins might be popping out...”

I peered around, finding what looked like a door to a little bathroom. Surprisingly, the light switch still worked... This bathroom had definitely seen better days, it was all run-down like a gas station restroom... I don’t even know if the toilet would still flush. “How is this facility still running?”

“I couldn’t say, Takumi—my best theory is that there’s a generator powered by solar or another natural resource—or perhaps the scientists who built a machine like this in the first place managed to harness perpetual motion, haha...”

I peered up at him. “Who built all this?”

In that bulky sci-fi suit, Eito looked a little eerie in the piss-yellow lighting of this bathroom, like the stalkers that show up in those survival horror games... “I have no idea—and unless she was trying to conceal it for some reason, it seems that Hiruko doesn’t know, either. The only thing I can say, is that this facility was here long before we were...”

I wanted to splash some water on my face, but I didn’t trust the water in this sketchy bathroom... I peered at myself carefully in the mirror, turning my head to look from all angles... I didn’t look sunburned, if anything I looked a little pale... I guess it must be fine. “So... We’re really in another timeline?”

He put his gloved hand on my back. “Let’s go see for ourselves.”

We went back to the machine, and he brought up the console. Sure enough, it was highlighted on the ‘Coming-of-Age’ node that he showed me earlier. “Who named it that? The scientists?”

“Well... This lab has presumably been abandoned for some time.” Eito pushed up his glasses. “I imagine that Hiruko made all these labels herself, just to more easily distinguish them from one another—you can see that they also have a number associated with them. This timeline is ‘Eleven’.” [A/N: This drives me crazy sometimes, but you’re not “supposed” to put numerals like 11 in spoken dialogue ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ So just bear with me lol]

“What was our original timeline?”

Eito had a small smile—it was almost a smirk. “Well... That’s the curious thing.” He deftly slid his fingers along the touch screen, finally landing at a timeline that didn’t go past Day 17. “This is ours—apparently it’s ‘Zero-Zero.’ Quite interesting, don’t you think?” What did that mean...

“So—we can’t go forward or backwards on our own timeline?”

“No—I’ve tried to cheat it by going to another timeline first, but apparently ours is on a ‘closed loop’... probably because you went back yourself through a means outside riding the bloodwave.” He smiled sadly. “I’ll admit... I did try to look for the timeline you came from, Takumi. I thought it might be helpful to talk to my other self face-to-face... But I haven’t been able to find it.”

I felt my mouth going dry... “Does that mean... I erased it?”

He laughed a bit, but not in a jovial way. “No, I don’t think that’s how it works... You can’t really ‘erase’ a timeline. From what I understand, any changes in the present result in a new ‘branch’—so theoretically, if you went back in time, that would just create a new branch, separate from the future you departed from. Does that make sense?”

“Oh... So, we can’t change the past?”

“Well... I’m still figuring out how all this works alongside you, Takumi. After all, time travel isn’t theoretically possible... yet here we are.” He sighed. “As I said, Hiruko was quite cagey about answering my questions, no matter how insistent I was...” “Insistent”... She did say that he threatened her before... “If we look at how time travel works in movies—sometimes odd and unexplainable things that happen in the present were the result of someone going back in time from the future to change things—thereby necessitating that when they arrive at that future, they have to go back to the past to make those changes and close the loop, right?”

“I guess so... Sometimes people just straight-up change the past and end up with a different future, though...”

“Exactly—but in that case, they aren’t exactly ‘changing’ the future—just creating a new branch stemming from the results of what they altered in the past. In that case, the person who went back in time would just disappear from their original timeline and never come back... Unless they possessed a machine like we do, to forcibly put themselves back.” He folded his arms. “Anyone attempting to ‘change the past’ would only be creating a new branch in which they interfered—their original timeline would remain unaffected.”

“Oh... So, our timeline isn’t branching without us because we’re gone? We can still go back to it?”

“Of course—oh, but, time is still flowing normally without us. Our absence from our original timeline may cause things to branch a bit, should something happen while we’re gone...” His brows sloped. “But—that doesn’t mean we can’t still return, as long as the machine is intact. Haha... I’ve already decided that this is the timeline in which I come clean about everything, so we’ll just have to accept the consequences of that.”

“Wait—slow down a second.” Maybe it was the after-effects of jumping through time, but I was starting to get a headache... “So—if time is still flowing normally without us, even though we technically leapt forward—then why isn’t my old timeline on the flowchart?” I licked my lips. “Wouldn’t we still be able to see it, if I didn’t overwrite it by going back?”

I saw him exhale deeply. “I honestly couldn’t say, Takumi... Perhaps you ‘closed the loop’ by coming back using your hemoanima, and this machine can’t keep track of such a thing. And because you removed your own existence from that future, you’re just not able to return... That’s my best theory, anyway. As I’ve said, ‘time travel’ itself doesn’t exactly adhere to logic or the laws of physics as we know it... I surmise that this is all only possible thanks to hemoanima.” He was rubbing his chin in thought. “According to Shion, hemoanima itself originates from this extra-dimensional ‘bloodspace’... So I suppose anything is possible.”

I finally sat down, leaning my back against the platform. “I see...” Ugh—maybe I should’ve grabbed some coffee from the cafeteria when I had the chance, or at least a snack...

“Haha...” Eito sat down next to me. “I’m sorry, Takumi—I suppose I ended up overwhelming you with information after all.”

“It’s fine...” I let myself fall against his shoulder. “I did ask...”

“Would you like to take a break?”

I let my eyes close. “Why did you take me here?” I could hear my own heartbeat in my ears. “Are you really going to kill your other self in this timeline? And take his brain to get the data for your little program?”

He put his arm around me. “Well... I just wanted to show you what it is I’ve been doing. You said you didn’t want any more secrets between us.” Hearing that gave me a chill. “Once you’ve seen this timeline for yourself... Then I’ll let you decide what we do, Takumi.” He pushed himself up to stand, walking to the other side room. “Are you hungry? It’s not much, but there’s a peach tree growing not too far from the lab... Well—the fruit is similar enough to peaches, anyway.”

I ran my hand through my hair, and finally stood up myself. “So... You’ve done this before.” My lips felt so dry. “... Have you already killed another Eito?”

He smiled at me. “I haven’t... But I intended to.” His eyes closed. “I would have gone around killing all the ones who deserved to die... All so that I could take the data from their brains. Haha... Do you see what I mean?” His smile was tinged with sadness. “Our timeline has already branched, Takumi—somewhere, there’s a me who did just that.” He put his helmet back on. “Now... If you want to grab some peaches, I’ll show you where the grove is. Or at least, where it might possibly be... Haha, the ‘Butterfly Effect’ can be quite a powerful thing—someone may have stepped on a snail in this timeline, and those trees may have never started growing there at all.” He grabbed a fire extinguisher from the lockers, walking out of the lab into the soft night.

I felt so tired and overwhelmed... But I knew I had to follow him. I just had to know if what he was saying was true. I had to see this thing that he knowingly kept from me... and I had to know what he meant by “the Eitos who deserved to die”...

百

I tossed the pit to the ground, finally fitting the heavy helmet back over my head. That fruit was pretty close to a peach... the skin was less fuzzy and more pink, and the flesh was pale like a white peach. Eating something helped distract me for a little bit, but the long walk to find out if some parallel version of the school was really there, with so many unanswered questions swirling in my head was agonizing. It felt like it took even longer than going to the lab the first time...

I saw a burst of color in the night sky in the distance—“Whoa!” A firework?

“That’s right.” Eito’s voice was distorted. “I recommend you put your voice-changer on now, Takumi—just in case.”

I did as he asked, and Eito led us the long way around the schoolyard, walking through the shadowed areas that weren’t touched by the lights. Eventually we stopped by what would have been the area for locking up bikes in a normal school, easily staying out of sight behind the metal siding.

We were so close to the fireworks, I could feel it when they exploded—like the air was getting pushed back. It was pretty cool—I’ve never seen real fireworks before, they were pretty strictly banned in the TRC because of the tightly-controlled environment...

“Hoo-wee! Pass me another one, Nigou!” Sirei was as excited as the rest of us—of them. Everyone looked exactly the same as in our timeline... But... not everyone was there. Darumi was missing, and Yugamu and the others from Second-to-Last were there instead... Even Eva was there. So... this must be a timeline where Darumi was killed by V’ehxness while I was gone... I see. 

That alone was enough to convince me, but... the reason I believed that we were really at a different version of the school was... myself. I was standing there talking to Nozomi... and Eito was standing off to the side, gazing up at the fireworks with his hands in his pockets.

“We’re really there...”

“... That’s right.” Eito’s distorted voice was quieter. “Now... Just wait.” He pressed himself against the metal siding. “Tell me what you see, Takumi.”

I watched, feeling the burst from the fireworks, taking in everyone’s happy expressions as they peered up at the night sky in awe... even Shion was there, his face was so full of wonder. Honestly... it made me upset to think that something could go so horribly wrong in this timeline that Eito would—

“—ah!” It finally hit me—I’d gotten so used to it that I didn’t even question it at first. “You’re outside your cage!”

“Haha... I was wondering when you would notice.”

“But... Why?”

I couldn’t see his expression at all behind the dark visor of the helmet—he almost looked like a cyclops with one red eye. “Just keep watching...”

Eventually, the other Takumi made his way over to Eito.

“... I never thought I’d get to watch fireworks with you like this.”

Whoa—that’s what my voice sounded like to other people? It was even different from a recording... surreal.

The other Eito had a bright smile. “Oh? Is it really so surprising, Takumi?” Ah—they seemed to have such a casual relationship... What exactly happened in this timeline?

“I didn’t go back a second time here, too... Did I?”

Eito didn’t answer right away. “... I don’t believe so. From what Hiruko told me, ours is the only timeline in which you went back a second time... All the others are the result of branching decisions from when you went back the first time.” “Decisions”... Why did it sound so weighty with the way he said it...

Ah—I could see the shy expression on the other Takumi’s face... So that’s what I look like, huh? Ugh... I’m sure my “skeleton was steaming” in Eito’s eyes right about now... “Well... it was your cognitive disorder that made it so difficult to be around us, right?” The other Takumi scratched his neck. “I’m just glad we were able to cure you... It must’ve been hard for you to have to suffer so much around other people until now.” “Cure”?!

“No way—they managed to do it?!” I turned up to Eito, still clad in that bulky suit. “Then—is that why you said you needed his brain data?” But—if this Eito was already cured, then—

“... Just keep watching.” Eito’s distorted voice behind the helmet held no emotion.

I felt a bit stunned by his flat answer, but I kept watching... But—if this Eito was already cured, why were we messing with him?! Couldn’t we just leave him alone? Was Eito really willing to kill him and steal his brain for himself? That was really... It was just cruel, it was so selfish... I almost couldn’t believe it. This Eito who I decided to trust would really do something like that to his own self...?

The other Eito’s eyes sparkled like Kako’s. “Wow—you really are a nice guy, Takumi!” Something dropped in the pit of my stomach. “I didn’t know you cared so much about me!” He had this huge, exaggerated, sparkly wink... I’d never seen such an expression on Eito before, not even when he was being sarcastic. It was so... showy. It just looked so... false.

“Stop...” The other Takumi laughed awkwardly, one might even say cutely... “I’m being serious.”

I turned up to my Eito, his expression completely hidden behind the helmet. “So... This is what you wanted to show me?” I closed my eyes, trying to steady myself with a deep breath. “... They all think he’s been cured... but he’s really just faking it, isn’t he?”

After what felt like several beats too long, Eito put his hand on my shoulder. “... He is.” Being touched by him through that bulky glove gave me very little comfort. “I’m sorry to say, Takumi... But even if it wasn’t obvious enough, Hiruko explicitly informed me that this is a timeline in which their Eito was faking having his cognitive disorder cured. Sirei tried plugging him into that brainwashing machine—I believe she called it ‘Dolmenic Cognitive Reconstructive Therapy’. Hmph—that was probably Sirei’s euphemism for it when you all discovered just what he was doing to you...” His helmet turned to face me. “Ah—you can’t see it, but I’m smiling behind my helmet!”

“Geez...” What a Second Eito thing to say...

“I was going to say, Takumi—that it’s a good thing that you destroyed that machine already for all our sakes... But it does create an extra step for us.” He turned back to the other Takumi and the other Eito, talking awkwardly like two kids with a crush... Well, that’s what my other self was giving... The other Eito was just beaming brightly like a cheesy game show host... How could they not all tell he was faking it? He was even still wearing his gloves... Maybe because he was acting so out-of-character, no one would actually expect him to try to pull off such an unbelievable lie, ergo it must be true... “You see—we’ll have to plug the other Eitos into that machine in their own timeline—or possibly another, if we’re forced to flee after grabbing him.”

“‘Grabbing him’?” I swallowed. “So—it’s not necessary to kill them, then?”

He moved his hand towards his face, then stopped. “Aha—it’s so ingrained in me to push up my glasses, but I can’t through this helmet... how irritating.” He threw his head back quickly, like an egret gulping down a fish... “Ah—that’s a bit better.” Geez... How absurd, right in the middle of this heavy conversation... “Well—to answer your question, Takumi—no, it isn’t strictly necessary to kill them... But it would be a lot simpler if we did. The shock of uploading the data from their brains will most likely kill them, anyway.” He turned back to our pair of other selves. “... No other Eito would willingly cooperate with such a plan, if he wasn’t able to directly benefit from the cure himself.”

“I’m being serious as well, Takumi... I never thought something like this would be possible for me, either.” The other Eito was talking so smoothly... It sounded so bizarre, he really was faking it... Eito would never just have a personality-180 from having his cognitive disorder cured—I guess Sirei just chalked it up to his personality changing as a byproduct of the brainwashing. But... that meant everyone was only “okay” with this Eito because his personality was completely different... 

“How sad... They only accept him because he might as well be a different person.”

Eito didn’t say anything.

The other Eito winked. “Just a couple of guys sharing their deepest feelings beneath the fireworks on a hot summer night... This is what friendship is all about, right?” Hearing him say that with that disingenuous expression made my skin crawl... It felt even worse than thinking back to all the times First Eito lied to my face. It was so—

“... I’m glad.” Ah—my other self crashed into him in a hug. “Not just so you can be around us—I’m glad you have the chance to live a normal life from now on.” He nuzzled his face in the other Eito’s shoulder—the other Eito looked completely stunned, he clearly had no idea what to do. “It must’ve been hard being controlled by a condition you couldn’t help...”

My head whipped up to Eito next to me—I couldn’t glean anything with that damn helmet on. I wonder if that’s why he insisted we keep them on, moreso than maintaining our cover if we were spotted...

“... Why is he still faking it?” I almost felt my eyes getting dewy. “If I’m so—if everyone’s so willing to accept him—why doesn’t he just go along with it? Why didn’t he tell Sirei it didn’t work that well, and to try it again?”

Eito was staring at our other selves. “Because he doesn’t want to be cured, Takumi.” Something turned in my stomach. “Because he believes you’re all completely irredeemable, disgusting humans—and he hates you all from the bottom of his heart. And not even two weeks from now... He’ll turn the others against you and duel you to the death, mocking you all the while for ever believing that he could tolerate your loathsome presence for even one second.” What? “This Eito hates you so much, he couldn’t even wait until the hundred days were up to stab you in the back.” 

“... Is that true? There’s no other possible—”

“It is true. Hiruko saw it for herself.”

I kept staring at the other Eito... His hand was shaking at his side. He still hadn’t hugged Takumi back...

“But... What if I actually get through to him? What if he changes his mind?”

“... Were you able to get through to First Eito, Takumi?”

I bit my lip. “No... But I got through to Second Eito. And you...”

He didn’t say anything.

“—so even if you say that, I can’t just take it at face value. We can’t just hurt this Eito for something he ‘might’ do—that’s why I didn’t kill you, even though Sirei told me I had to.”

“... It’s exactly because you’re so kind that he hates you so much.” His distorted voice sounded so hollow. “Because there’s something wrong with his brain... Just like there was something wrong with First Eito... and there’s something wrong with me, too.”

I felt like I was going to cry. “But you changed...”

“Did I?”

The stupid bulky helmet was in the way, I ended up resting the flat visor against his shoulder. “Yeah... Because you didn’t go through with it when you had the chance.” I couldn’t wipe my eye with this stupid fishbowl on. “You’ve already been here before, right? But even you couldn’t bring yourself to kill him...”

“Thank you, Takumi...” Ah—that was the other Eito. It was hesitant, but he finally hugged the other Takumi back. He was patting his shoulder, as if he wasn’t sure that it was okay to touch him... “You really are kind.”

“Aha... Isn’t that the classic ‘sus Eito line’, Takumi?”

“No—wait. Look.” I pointed to our other selves.

Takumi was holding him tightly... “I really wish we could’ve helped the Eito from my first timeline, too...” He had hopped up on his toes. “But I’m glad we could help you now.”

Ah—the other Eito rested his cheek on top of his head. “That’s quite considerate of you, Takumi...” Ah—he pet the back of his hair, like I’d do for Karua... “Haha—if I were you, I wouldn’t have a kind thought to spare for that traitor!”

“Don’t say that.” Takumi squeezed his back. “He is you... If I could go back and give him a second chance like this, I would.”

The other Eito was staring unfocused at nothing. “Is that so...” It looked like something in his brain split—he was touching that Takumi so intimately, I could never imagine First Eito tolerating being that close to me—hugging me back, resting his face in my hair, stroking the back of my head... It was inconceivable. “Haha—you truly are the real deal, Takumi!! That kind of selflessness is what ‘love and peace’ is all about!!” He got that sparkly, shit-eating grin again...

Eito charged away back into the woods.

“Ah—” I spared one last look at our other selves, then walked quickly to try to catch up with him.

He disappeared into the treeline, tearing off his helmet. I watched him push his hair back from his face with both hands, then almost desperately peel the leap suit off himself, yanking the thick gloves off. “Haah...” He sat on a fallen log, cradling his head in his hands...

I took off my helmet as well, tentatively putting a hand on his shoulder. “... Are you all right?”

His eyes were scrunched closed. “... I just couldn’t stand to watch anymore.” His fingers slipped under his glasses to rub his eyes—he caught his glasses awkwardly before they slid right off his face. “Haah... What a mess.”

I sat on a mossy boulder across from him. The woods were quiet, only lit by the glow of the satellite peeking through the top of the canopy. There weren’t even any bugs out here. “... Why couldn’t you stand to watch them anymore?” I started peeling my arms out of the leap suit. “Because it looked like your other self might actually change his mind?”

Eito still had his head in his hands, his fingers wrenched up through his silky hair. “... He didn’t say that last time.”

“What?”

He finally looked up at me, his face a little pink from the pressing his skin so hard. “He didn’t say that the last time I was here... my other self.” His eyes closed. “The conversation just ended and they kept watching the fireworks... He didn’t rest his face on top of that slimy Takumi’s head, either.”

“... ‘Slimy’?”

“Haha... That Takumi looks a little different to me than you do...” Yeesh—I probably don’t want to know, then...

I licked my lips. “So, then... What changed? Did this timeline just branch?”

He finally slipped his glasses back on. “I don’t know... We won’t know for sure unless the flowchart on the PLM is updated.” He gave me a wry smile. “Though, it would be quite impossible to navigate if every possible timeline were displayed on that machine... I’m not sure which algorithm it uses to determine this, but it seems that alternate timelines are only recorded when there’s been a significant change.”

“Significant...” I stood up, so I could take the leap suit off all the way. It was getting suffocating, I felt like I was just breathing the same stale air... “So... Wouldn’t that Eito deciding that he really didn’t want to kill everyone be pretty significant?”

Eito pushed up his glasses, still looking down at the ground. “You heard him... Even if he had a flicker of doubt, he went right back into that façade... Apparently that one likes to throw around the words ‘love and peace’ like confetti. He doesn’t mean it in the slightest... And being pitied by you only makes him hate you more.”

“... Are you sure about that?”

The moon was shining on his forehead, and I couldn’t see his eyes in the shadow of his brow.

I went over and sat next to him on the log. “Now you know how I feel... You just couldn’t do it, even though logically you know that something bad is bound to happen.” I reached around so I could scratch his back.

“... I don’t think it’s quite the same, Takumi.”

“Maybe it is.” I scratched through his bunchy jacket with my nails. “I knew how dangerous you were—how dangerous First Eito was—but you were still a different person. You hadn’t done anything yet... So I wasn’t going to kill you, even knowing what you planned to do.” I rested my head on his shoulder. He still felt so tense... “... You thought it was wrong, too—didn’t you?”

“... That’s not it at all.” His voice sounded so cold. “... If an Eito that everyone believed was their friend suddenly disappeared, that would just make them sad, wouldn’t it?” He shifted, and I let him go. “If that’s really how you feel about it, Takumi... Then we’ll come back on their day sixty-five.” He pushed himself up off the log. “Once you’re forced to fight him to the death—we’ll swoop in to collect his body before he becomes just a husk.”

He wasn’t looking at me. “You really have so little faith in yourself?”

“... I do. Because I know what it feels like to be him.” He finally turned over his shoulder. “That’s what makes me qualified to judge which Eitos deserve to live, and which don’t.” His smile was so hollow.

I stood up. “Then—I vote no.” I walked past him to my leap suit. “Since you’re leaving it up to me, I’m saying that you won’t come back and lay a finger on him—we’ll come back together on day sixty-five and see how it all turns out.”

“People might die when he turns on you, Takumi. Including yourself.”

I started pulling on the thick suit. “What was it Kyoshika said—‘If I die while being kind, then I can die without regrets’?”

Eito pushed up his glasses. “So, it’s not okay for me to kill an Eito who plans on killing you, but it’s okay for you to doom a Takumi to being killed?”

I held the helmet under my arm. “I’m going to choose to believe in him.” I fit the helmet over my head, sealing it up. “Who knows—even if they didn’t know we were there, maybe they felt something from our hemoanima resonating with theirs...” I was glad he couldn’t see my face... “Maybe that’s why they looked more lovey-dovey this time.” Wait a second... I just realized something—that me didn’t go back twice, he never made that promise to Second Eito—so why was he being so lovey-dovey on that Eito in the first place?! Gah—“Or maybe it was the morphogenetic field... who knows...”

“Hmph...” Eito almost laughed. “Well... If that’s what you’ve decided, Takumi—I won’t go against you.” He sounded so tired. No—it was more like he sounded world-weary, almost like Hiruko. “... There are other Eitos far worse than that out there.” A chill went up my spine. “One way or another—we’re going to need the data from their brains if we want to complete that glitch repair program.” I heard the stretching sound of him pulling on the thick suit. “... I suppose if nothing else, I could always take the data from my own brain using the Dolmenic machine in another timeline. Then you can use the repair program on another Eito without any guilt... Use it early on so you’ll get a fresh new Eito without as much baggage as I have.”

“Just stop it—are you even listening to yourself?” I mashed the button to release the helmet, tearing it off again. “What’s with you—you sounded all excited that I caught you doing this, you said you’d leave it up to me if we go through with it or not—now you’re threatening to do something that will probably kill you if I don’t go along with it?! Am I getting that right?”

He was looking down to the side, at nothing on the ground. “... That was the plan, yes.”

My eyes scrunched closed. “—how could you say that after everything? Did you ever think I’d be remotely okay with that plan?!” I felt a frog in my throat. “What’s wrong with you—you already told me not to go back again if something goes wrong, now I’m just supposed to accept you throwing yourself away so some other Eito can get a lucky break? Fuck off—I can’t believe you’d even say something like that.” I pressed the heels of my palms into my eyes. “—I’m so mad I don’t even know what to say.”

The silence of the woods without frogs or insects was deafening.

“—is that why you looked so sad when you said it ‘sounds lovely’ to live in a big house with everyone?” My nose sounded completely stuffed. “What—if I don’t go along with your plan to kill all the Eitos and fix you, you couldn’t even stand being around everyone? It’d be just like karaoke every day?” I wiped my eye. “That’s why you’d rather just die?”

I barely felt his arms around me through the suit.

“—I’m sorry, Takumi.” He desperately clutched onto the back of my head. “I knew you wouldn’t forgive me no matter what I did, so... I thought the most fair thing for me to do would be to pay it forward... like my other self did.”

I hid my face in his collarbone, just like the other Takumi. “Why... Do you feel guilty?”

“... A little.”

“Stupid...” I clutched onto his back. “... Your other self doesn’t resent you at all. So stop it.”

“... Whether he resents me or not, I’m still allowed to feel guilty, aren’t I?” I couldn’t think of anything to say to that.

“... I don’t want to do it this way. I can’t approve of you going around killing any other Eitos, no matter how much they ‘deserve it.’” I finally looked up at him. My eye scrunched when he wiped the tear clinging to my bottom lashes. His face was so emotionless... Come to think of it, I’d never seen Eito cry in any timeline... He might not even be capable of it. It almost looked like he’d shut down... Like his emotions were too overwhelming, so now they were just gone... “—I’ll find a way.” I licked my dry lips. “If it really takes poking around in another Eito’s brain—then we’ll just go to a timeline where I killed you myself.” I realized I was wrenching his jacket. “—if that Takumi made his choice, and it’s already been done—then I have no right to judge him... We’ll just quietly collect the body, run the program, and leave...”

“I fail to see how that’s any different.”

His tone was so flat and cold... I’d never heard Eito sounding like this. Not even when he was in his cage.

“Maybe you can’t understand this, Takumi... But even if it’s some other ‘you’—if one of us has to be a murderer, then it may as well be me. I’d prefer it if you kept your hands clean.” My legs suddenly felt weak, like a fight-or-flight instinct was kicking in... It felt like he was about to say, “I need you to stay untainted by the outside world... I need you to be my place to come home to—or else, I’ll just go crazy...” “Haha... Sorry, did that sound like something Prosecutor Eito would say?” He held up both hands in surrender. Oh—I realized I had subconsciously taken a half-step back from him. “Well... He is also me.” He smiled sadly. “I’m sorry, Takumi—there really is something wrong with me, something very wrong. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to live in a big house alongside you and everyone else... That’s just not the kind of person I am.” He lowered his arms. “I could probably tolerate it for a few years... But I’m so tired.” His eyes slid closed. “My whole life has revolved around trying to avoid people as much as I possibly could, keeping a mask up at all times when it wasn’t avoidable—just waiting for the day when I could kill everyone whose loathsome presence I ever had to endure.” His smile was drained of all feeling or meaning. “You know—in those false memories of mine, I was proud of myself for killing my parents.” A chill went down my spine. “They were the first people who ever betrayed me... Locking me up in the hospital like some shameful family secret, instead of protecting me, loving me, accepting me—I might as well have been shoved into one of those underground prisons for ‘troubled’ relatives and disobedient wives in the feudal era.”

“—I’m sorry, I know those memories feel real, I know the suffering you feel is real, but—you don’t have to let that inform who you are now.”

“What difference does it make?” He cupped my face, but his hand didn’t feel warm at all. “Are you going to throw away all the memories of that girl who was ‘like a sister to you’?” His eyes bore right into mine. “I assume she’s not real, either...”

I swallowed. “I...”

His eyes closed. The bags underneath were horrible. “I’ve been doing the best that I can, Takumi. I’ve been trying so hard to stomach being around the others... but you just don’t understand what it’s like. Even you look like a monster to me...” His eyes scrunched. “When you found me in the bathroom this afternoon... That’s what it’s like, all the time.” I felt a painful pang in my chest. “Haha... If I keep trying to live pretending everything is fine, when every nerve in my body and every survival instinct I have is telling me to run away—I’ll just end up resenting you.”

“I’m sorry—you don’t have to compromise. I’ve been expecting too much from you—you asked about living in a separate detached house, things like that aren’t unreasonable to ask for—”

He smiled at me sadly. “It would feel exactly the same, eventually... Me spending all of my time in the detached house away from everyone to get some peace, waiting for you to finish socializing and come back home... It would feel just like being shut away in the hospital.” I shivered, the cold night of the moonless woods finally catching up to me. “I’d just feel like something you had to shove to the side because I was inconvenient to your normal life... So if that’s the way it’s going to be anyway...” His eyes closed. “... I’d rather just give my brain so maybe some other Eito doesn’t have to live that way.”

I was getting the front of his jacket wet, and he just wrapped his arms around my back.

“... I’m sorry, Takumi. This is why I was planning to keep all this from you...” He stroked the back of my hair. “... Just like when I forced myself to sing that song, I thought if I kept repeating it like a mantra, maybe it would come true... There was a slim chance something would change, just like that Eito out there watching fireworks.” He scratched his nails in my hair. “But when it became clear that nothing would change... That’s when I would bow out gracefully and make my exit.”

“You’re so stupid—did you ever stop to think how that would make me feel?”

“... It couldn’t make you feel any worse than being trapped with someone who only grew to resent you, and who you grew to resent.”

“So that would happen no matter what, huh? You know that for a fact?” I wrenched my hands in his jacket. “Listen to yourself—you said you were so ‘megalomaniacal’ and hate-filled—did you ever imagine yourself turning that violence inward against yourself, for the sake of sparing someone else’s feelings?” He was quiet. “Well? Answer me.”

“Aha...” He laughed awkwardly—it was the first time since this conversation went south that he sounded like himself. “Well, I suppose you have me there, Takumi...” He was smoothing down the back of my hair with his nails. 

“That’s right—so I forbid you from offering up your own brain. If you even entertain that possibility again, I’ll be so mad I’ll never, ever forgive you.” 

He was quiet for a second. “Aha... I thought I resolved myself for that eventuality—but hearing you say it out loud, it really does sound horrible.”

I realized my body had been tensed up that whole time, and I finally let all my muscles unclench. “... Let’s just go home.” That oppressive hollowness in his energy was gone, I felt like I could finally relax in his arms... “I want to talk more about all this... but I don’t want to be here anymore.”

“I understand, Takumi.” I felt his warm cheek resting on top of my head. “Haha... I suppose I’ve been keeping too many things to myself, and the flood gates just flew open with the slightest push... Haha, you did tell me that First Eito was well-versed in the art of unhinged monologues...”

“Geez—you don’t have to apologize, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about these things, anyway.” I smoothed the wrinkles in his jacket with the heel of my palm. “... I’m sorry I’ve done such a shitty job of understanding you.”

“Haha...” His breath tickled my hair. “I don’t know if I really understand myself anymore, Takumi...”

“... Isn’t that a good thing? It means you’re changing, and your new self can’t relate to your old self anymore...”

“Hmm...” It felt stupid-good when his nails scratched down by the nape of my neck, I actually got little tingles... “But you see, Takumi—if I’m capable of changing, then all the evil Eitos are, too—then I can’t harvest the data in their brains without a guilty conscience...”

“Geez—let’s just go.” I finally pulled back. My face felt puffy, there was goo clinging to every corner of my eyes. “—I hope you got your fill of this timeline, because we’re not coming back anytime soon.”

“Haha... Well, we’ll be back sooner than you think.” He peered back at the group watching fireworks in the distance. “This is their day fifty-five... We can theoretically come back any time that the bloodwave is surging within range of their day sixty-five.”

“... I see.” I let my head rest against his chest. None of this did anything to help my exhaustion... “So—that Takumi looks different to you, huh?”

“He does...”

“... So I guess I can’t secretly come back myself and try to convince that Eito to change his mind...”

“Hahaha... That wouldn’t be a very good idea, Takumi. Even if he didn’t sniff you out right away...” His nails dragged through my messy hair. “... I’d be quite jealous if you seduced some other Eito like that! Especially if you hopped back to our timeline right after, leaving him with an impostor—he might go a little crazy hunting you down to find you again!”

“... Do you have to use the word ‘seduced’...”

“Haha... I’m sorry, Takumi. I can be quite single-minded, you know! You shouldn’t underestimate how scary those Eitos can be...”

“... I know.” My heavy eyelids slid closed. “... Can you carry me piggyback to the lab? I feel like I can’t even walk anymore...”

He snickered. “I can do that... I do owe you, anyway.” Why did it feel like he meant he owed me the embarrassment of being carried...

百

“... Takumi? Can I ask you a question?”

The helmet was too bulky to carry, I had to awkwardly lean my head off his shoulder so they wouldn’t knock together... “Go ahead.”

“... Would you be mad if I knocked on your door in the middle of the night? If I really needed to speak with you...”

“Of course not—if it’s important, I’d prefer it if you talked to me about it. Even if you have to wake me up...” I let my heavy eyelids close, feeling the bob and dip as he walked with me on his back. He was pretty strong for a “Stringbean”, like Takemaru said...

“... I see. That’s good to know.”

“... Were you thinking about waking me up before you went off on this harebrained scheme?”

He laughed lightly. “Well... I suppose that doesn’t matter now.”

I let myself blob against him, finally trusting that he had a good enough hold on me to not drop me...

百

The particles from the machine caught the light as they settled all around us... It was just as disorienting the second time.

Eito pulled off his helmet, and I peered at his face. “You look fine...”

He stepped out of the suit, and his cold hands cupped either side of my face. His eyes closed, his thumbs brushing over my cheeks. “You should be fine, too—but you should check yourself in the mirror just in case.” His smile looked completely drained when he opened his eyes.

“... You said I started looking different to you, right?” I didn’t break eye contact. “Isn’t it possible that the other Takumi will start to look different to that Eito, too?”

He smiled sadly, for the umpteenth time tonight. “I suppose it’s possible... But it’s highly unlikely.” He turned away from me. “That Eito doesn’t know what I know... and neither do the rest of you.” He pushed up his glasses. “Poor fools—even if they do survive to the end, they’ll be in for quite a rude awakening when they all board that emergency shuttle on day one hundred.”

My mouth went dry. I hadn’t even thought of that... It was enough of a burden thinking about when to break the news to my own comrades—thinking about other timelines and other groups who will never find out the truth is just—

“Don’t let it consume you, Takumi. Haha... I know just what you’re thinking.” He was still turned away from me, carefully storing the leap suit into the locker. “That’s another reason I didn’t want you to know about any of this... You’d only worry about all the other people in every timeline out there. I suppose you just can’t help it... but at the end of the day, your only responsibility is to your own self and the people around you here.” He pushed up his glasses. “Although, I still think the others rely on you far too much... But that’s just my opinion.”

I felt so tired... I wish we didn’t have to walk another half hour back to the school. “I don’t suppose there’s a bike or a scooter around here?”

He laughed lightly. “I’m sorry, Takumi—now that we aren’t burdened by those bulky helmets, I don’t mind carrying you back.” It’s too bad we can’t call Takemaru or Tsubasa and have them pick us up... Actually—I hope no one noticed we were gone. If Darumi and Yugamu woke up, someone might’ve come by my room to let me know... 

“... Let’s just go.” Maybe if we talked on the way, it wouldn’t feel so long... But I felt like all the things we had to talk about were too important to just casually bring up when we were out here in the wilderness, keeping our guard up for homunculi or a stray Commander... “When we get back... do you have the mental capacity to talk about everything?”

He smiled tiredly. “I can be ready. Just let me brew us a pot of coffee, Takumi—and we should also sit down and have dinner, first.” For some reason, hearing him say that made me think of the other Eito with the old laptop who called me “honey”—he had that same doting housewife energy. Eito said he didn’t have a paternal or maternal bone in his body—but even someone like him was capable of caring for someone else. Even if it was literally just me and no one else... “And I’d like to have a shower, to wash all this dust off of me...”

“That sounds fine—having a shower and eating will probably perk me up, too.”

His eyes were sparkling. “We should take a shower together, Takumi!” He winked... “It wouldn’t hurt to save our water supply as much as we can!” Geez...

“I don’t know...” He said some pretty concerning stuff today... I couldn’t help but feel that “licking each other’s wounds” like that was a bad idea... it just seemed like getting physical was an unhealthy way to deal with emotional trauma. But it’s not like I was a psychologist... I guess that dude with the huge sword in that one manga seemed like he got his heart healed being loved by that female soldier. But that was just a manga, not real life...

“Ah. Well.” His brows sloped. “I wasn’t being serious, Takumi—forget I suggested it.” His eyes fell to the console. “I was just attempting to lighten the mood... I suppose I’m still terrible at reading the room.” Well, now I just felt bad... “Ah...” His eyes widened just a bit.

“What is it?” I dragged myself to stand next to him, trying to make sense of the messy flowchart. “Ah—” Right underneath ‘Day 55’, there was a branch. The timeline was split in two.

We both looked at each other.

“It branched.”

Eito pushed up his glasses. “So it did...” Then he sighed, the bags under his eyes looking more sunken than ever.

“What—are you disappointed? You just want to see the worst in him so you can justify taking his brain...”

He was looking at nothing in particular. “... I suppose I failed to mention that the fireworks show was that other Eito’s idea in the first place. Apparently he helped organize it with Sirei...”

“What, really?” I breathed a sigh of relief. “Well—I’m sure you’re just going to say, ‘He just did it to lure them all into a false sense of security’—but maybe he actually wanted to see if he could enjoy doing something normal with everyone?” I kept looking at his face, until his eyes flicked to mine. “Like First Eito when he came to my room to shake my hand.”

He sighed. “I suppose we’ll just have to see for ourselves, Takumi.” He messed with his glasses again. “... Let’s just hope this doesn’t end badly for everyone.” He said it so quietly I wasn’t sure if I heard him right.

百

“Takumi...” His hand didn’t feel warm in mine, it just felt like it was there. “Before you tell me everything—there’s something that I need you to know.” The destroyed city was distressingly dark, only the stars and the artificial satellite were lighting our way. “Just like that Eito—I’m only giving humanity one last chance.”

I knew exactly what he meant... “Honestly... I can’t say I disagree with that sentiment entirely.”

We kept walking on in silence for a bit.

“... If humanity really is stupid and selfish enough to destroy the new planet they’ve been graciously allowed to share, then—”

“Oh, don’t you worry about that, Takumi!” He smiled brightly. “I’ll take care of it! Just like when I was watching from the other side of the wall of fire... I don’t mind taking on these unpleasant tasks myself!”

“... So you’re secretly hoping the humans fuck it all up so you can go kill them, is what you’re saying.”

He laughed, and it actually sounded genuine. “Hehe... Well, that certainly would be in line with my character, wouldn’t it?” He gave my hand a little squeeze. “But the truth is, Takumi... It would be nice if your faith in others didn’t turn out to just be naïve foolishness.”

“Thanks...”

“I really mean that, you know!”

“I know...” I squeezed his hand back. “... thanks.” Our shoes kept scraping over exploded bits of rubble and twisted metal. “... What I have to tell you probably won’t raise your opinions of humans very much.”

He smirked, pushing up his glasses. “No, I imagine it won’t.”

百

The air smelled heavy like wet dirt—seriously? I thought it didn’t rain until Day 24...

“It smells like it’s going to rain—let’s hurry, I really don’t want to be caught in it.” I picked up our pace, letting go of his hand and jogging ahead.

“Ah, what? ‘Rain’?”

“Oh, that’s right—it’s a weather condition, it happens because water gets evaporated up into the clouds, and when it gets too heavy, the water droplets start falling from the sky.” That was a kindergarten explanation, but it was good enough for now... “Honestly, I’m surprised you haven’t come across something like that in those books you read.”

“Ah! So that’s what ‘rain’ is!” He yelled excitedly from behind me, easily catching up. “I’d often read about rain representing melancholy—so, it’s just a natural phenomenon...”

“Yeah—but if we get caught out in the rain before going to bed, we might get sick...” I felt a tiny pinhead hit my nose—great. “Shit—let’s run.” If I change out of my wet clothes right away and hop in a hot shower, it should be fine—then I’ll eat a bunch of fruit and some hot soup at dinner, and—

“Ah!” Eito yelped in excitement. “I felt a water droplet hit me!” He started laughing. “So this is what rain feels like...” Haah... It’s not like I was trying to take the moment away from him, but I just wanted to get back as soon as possible...

I slowed a bit so he could catch up to me. “After we warm up... If it’s still raining tomorrow, maybe we can walk around with an umbrella so you can enjoy the rain. I just don’t want either of us to get sick...”

It was hard to see his expression in the dark. “That sounds lovely, Takumi.”

We kept running in silence, the rain finally sprinkling down—at least it wasn’t pouring, it might not even last through the night.

A distant rumble shook the sky...

“Takumi, what was that?!”

“Thunder—it’s far enough away, so we shouldn’t have to worry about lightning!” How to even explain that one... “Sometimes when the atmospheric pressure is high, electricity zaps down from the sky. Thunder is like the warning sign of lighting—we really don’t want to be hit by that.”

“Oh, dear—it sounds quite astounding, I would really like to see it!” Haah... If it was any other time than the middle of the night, then I’d almost want to indulge him...

Finally, we got to the wall of fire and sprayed our way through, and the lights from the school came into view on the other side. It was pouring so heavily now I could see the slanted rain even in the dark. My clothes were completely soaked, my hair was sticking to my head, I could taste the cold rainwater...

Ah—his flames were hovering towards us in the dark, a layer of steam was all around him from evaporating rain. “Takumi—I’m glad you’re all right.” Shion’s brows sloped deeply. “Tsubasa and I were waiting for you to come back.”

“Oh—I’m sorry to worry you.” I kept jogging towards the school. “Let’s go—I’m sure you’ll be fine in the rain, but we really need to get out of it!”

“I see... So this is ‘rain’.” Shion hovered above us, and I heard the hiss from the rain turning to steam as it hit his avatar—he was almost acting like an umbrella. “Is it harmful?”

“No—but I just don’t want to get sick getting so wet and cold before bed.”

“I see... You should probably take a hot bath to bring your body temperature back up, then.”

Eito had been silent since Shion appeared. “You aren’t going to ask where we’ve been? Haha...”

“Well—I can always ask later.” I heard the smile in Shion’s tone. “I trust Takumi—and I trust that you wouldn’t do anything to harm him.”

“Haah...” Eito sighed loudly. “You’re both too trusting...” I just rolled my eyes.

The giant metal doors to the school were winched open before we even got to them. Tsubasa was standing in the gap with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. “Come on!” She peered up wide-eyed at the sky. “What is all that stuff?!”

“It’s just rain!” I shouted as I shimmied through the gap in the door. “Hoo—it’s just a natural phenomenon, but you don’t want to linger in it too long or you might get a cold... CHOO!” A sneeze rocketed out of my nose—great.

“Oh, dear—we should go warm you up right away, Takumi...”

“Come with me!” Tsubasa grabbed my arm, pulling her blanket tight as she ran. I noticed there was a little portable stove, a pillow, and some playing cards strewn around the front entrance... “The hot water lasts a lot longer in the pool showers—you should change out of your wet clothes right away and just shower in there!”

My hand felt so clammy... “That’s not a bad idea.”

“Oh, dear... Haha...” Eito sounded less enthused as our shoes squeaked on the floor, dashing upstairs towards the pool. “I’m feeling so cold, I’m shivering... I don’t know if I particularly want to walk around in the rain any more than this, haha...”

“I saw some tracksuits in the gym—I’ll bring those up so you can change into them! And wrap a big robe around you!” Tsubasa laughed a bit awkwardly. “Um... One time I got a cold for going out for a night swim with my girlfriends and not warming up enough afterwards, so...”

“Oh—I see.” I wasn’t as much of a “spill the tea” girl as Karua, but—that sentence did pique my interest, not gonna lie...

Tsubasa practically shoved us into the boys’ changing room. “Don’t worry about the hot water—it’s a different water heater than the one we have on the roof!” I guess she would know...

“Thanks, Tsubasa—” She booked it back out of there—even if it was just me and Eito, she might’ve been embarrassed to be in a “boys only” area.

I laid my wet jacket across the wooden bench in the middle of the lockers, and peeled off my soaked sweatshirt... ugh, it smelled like wet dog. I can’t wait to get in the shower... I really wish we had baths at this school.

Eito was watching me, and he reluctantly laid his jacket along the bench, too. “I suppose I should do this as well...” He sighed. “Even knowing it will go in the wash in the end, I don’t like the idea of my clothes touching communal surfaces...” He was looking around, opening random lockers and wandering about. At least his jacket was so thick it didn’t soak through to his long-sleeve shirt underneath.

“What are you looking for?”

“Sandals... I’d rather not go into the shower barefoot.”

I rolled my eyes. “But you’re fine putting your feet into some strange sandals you found lying around?” I’m not trying to make fun of him, it just seemed a little silly.

“Haha... I suppose you’re right.” He still didn’t look very assured.

“Tsubasa will probably bring us some indoor shoes—if you want, I can set them right outside the shower so you can change into them right away.”

He took off his glasses. “That would be ideal. Thank you, Takumi.” He raked his fingers back through his wet hair—he looked completely different with it slicked back like that, for some reason he almost looked like a butch lesbian... [A/N: The queer experience of twinks being mistaken for lesbians and vice versa XD]

I started shivering as soon as all my wet clothes were off... My skin felt so clammy and cold, and I was so pale...

Despite Eito’s reservations, the showers here were actually pretty clean—probably because they were hardly used. I turned on the stream and waited desperately for the water to turn hot, holding my arm underneath and checking every few seconds—hoo, good enough.

I closed my eyes, letting the warm water hit my face, weighing down my hair... I let it hit my chest, my back, washing all the cold clamminess off of me. That felt so good... It felt like I was being revived from the verge of death... The water was heating up a bit more, I felt like it couldn’t be hot enough...

I heard another shower turn on at the opposite wall. I was a bit surprised he didn’t use the one right next to me... Well, as socially-avoidant as he was, Eito probably considered unspoken rules like “urinal etiquette” to be unbreakable...

I pumped some shampoo into my hand, lathering up my hair... It was nice not having to worry about the hot water running out. We’d probably be fine—seeing Tsubasa’s stewpot made me really crave some sweet-and-sour soup, or maybe some tom kha... Was she waiting with Shion at the front entrance that whole time? That actually made me feel bad... but it was sweet. When did they notice we were missing?

“Hello?” I heard Shion’s voice call through the door. “I’m holding onto the track suits so they’ll be nice and warm when you’re done.”

“That sounds great—thanks, Shion!” I smiled even though I knew he couldn’t see me. “And thank Tsubasa for us, too!”

I didn’t hear anything right away—I wasn’t sure if he was still there. “Well... Maybe we can all have some tea together after you’ve warmed up.” Ah—I see. Poor Tsubasa—she was probably pretty worried, especially if she camped out by the entrance instead of just waiting in her room... Hopefully she didn’t think Eito dragged me outside to dump my body in the woods.

I rinsed all the shampoo out of my hair, enjoying the simple feeling of the hot water hitting me... The cheapo body wash in these little plastic dispensers was actually pretty silky, I finally felt like I washed off all that wet dirt smell clinging to me. Oh, oops—I almost forgot Eito was there.

I glanced at him out of habit—he was just quietly running body wash down his arms. I didn’t think it was possible for him to look more pale, his skin almost had a blue-ish grey undertone.

“You can look, Takumi—I’m not bothered.”

“Oh, sorry—I was just wondering if you’ve warmed up enough.”

He was looking absently down at his arm, carefully lathering the body wash in small circles. “I always look like this... I suppose I’m considered ‘pale’ by most conventional standards, aren’t I?” I guess he wouldn’t really know, huh...

“I’d say so. Not that that’s a bad thing...” I vaguely recall Sirei saying that the people living in the TRC aren’t necessarily genetically Japanese... Eito almost looked more Scandinavian to me than anything. I guess that’s not really relevant to us... As far as I know, there weren’t any human cells used in our creation—it was all just Shion. I wonder if Futurans look more ethnically-diverse on different parts of the planet?

Eito rinsed the suds off his arm. “Takumi—can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“Do I look ‘normal’?” He had an odd look—it was almost a smirk, but not quite. “By human standards... The only person I’ve ever been able to see is myself, after all.”

I turned so the water was hitting my back. “Well... I don’t think there is a ‘normal’ way to look. I guess if you’re asking me to compare you to the others... You’re pretty tall, I think the only people taller than you here are Takemaru and Moko—although Hiruko’s pretty close.”

“Is that right?”

“Yeah...” I hope he doesn’t take offense to this... I guess it would be weird if he did, he said he couldn’t really tell whether people were men or women half the time, anyway. “I think what stands out the most about you is you’re very pretty... I suppose it’s less common for guys to have feminine features, like really long eyelashes.”

“But Shion has long eyelashes, does he not? That gremlin said so.”

I rolled my eyes. “Could you please do me a favor, and call everyone by their names? You know who Gaku is...”

“I will—if the others would kindly stop referring to me as ‘Stringbean’.”

“I—I’ll talk to Takemaru about it.” I turned halfway when the hot water hitting my back got to be a bit too much. “That’s just what he does—you should almost take it as a compliment that he gave you some weird nickname.” He didn’t bother to give one to some of the others...

He pumped another palmful of body wash, carefully spreading it down his other arm. “So... I’m more ‘feminine’ in your eyes? That is interesting...”

“Well... I guess it’s more fifty-fifty.” I rinsed my face off again, carefully not to get the salty runoff from my brows into my eyes. “Since you asked—I’d say you’re a pretty androgynous person. I guess that isn’t exactly ‘normal’—but I like you the way you are, if that’s what you’re really trying to ask.” He looked like he was trying to keep a neutral expression, but I could see he got a small smile.

“I see.”

I slicked my hair back from my forehead while it was still weighed down with water. “I guess Yugamu and Hiruko are a bit androgynous, too, now that I think about it. I mean, it’s obvious Hiruko’s a woman—it’s just the way she carries herself, and she is pretty tall for a girl. Oh—and Ima. Him and Kako really don’t look that different...”

“Haha... I see.” Why was it making my arm hurt watching him rub little circles into his own skin like that... I guess it just helped him feel more clean. “You know... I didn’t want to tell you this, because I didn’t want you to feel less special, Takumi...” I thought I heard a small laugh over the sound of the shower. “But—everyone has started looking different to me. Those twins actually look distinct from one another, when they didn’t before.”

“Really?”

“Really. Rather than nondescript, twisted piles of flesh, they look more like broken dolls to me—oh, and the younger one, Kako, looks like a waterlogged Victorian doll, like a bloated corpse found in the river...”

“Yeesh...” I wet my hands, smoothing the beaded water away from my eyebrows. “Well... That still sounds kind of sad, but I guess it’s better than... whatever they looked like before.”

“Haha... It is. It’s certainly easier to stomach, visually... Although everyone’s stench was still quite overwhelming, I’m glad that freezing my mucous membranes took care of that for the most part.” He rinsed his arm, his skin looking pink from working it in circles. “Unfortunately, the others’ voices are still quite grating... The ones that aren’t unbearably shrill make my skin crawl, like an unsettling whisper... that black cl—Yugamu’s and Hiruko’s especially.”

“Really?”

“Yes... They sound like a deeper voice is overlapping with them. Like something out of a cheap horror movie...”

“I see... That is interesting. Hiruko’s voice is a little deep... But sometimes I wonder if she isn’t talking with a vocal fry on purpose.”

“Haha... Who can say.” Eito actually turned away from me, lathering up his chest and stomach. Gah—I didn’t mean to look, but he had no ass—flat as a pancake. I guess that doesn’t really matter much to me, either way... [A/N: While looking up his CGs, I was cursed by the uncensored “Living Idol” artwork.]

I kind of wanted to ask, but... Well—he was the one who brought it up first. The answer’s probably just going to be that it “doesn’t really matter”, anyway. “What about me?” I didn’t want to just stand there, so I kept my hands busy by giving myself another pass with the warm water. “You said I look like a skeleton... But do I actually look like a man to you? Can you even tell?” I licked my lips, getting the distinct taste of tap water. “Does that even really matter?”

“Haha... Well, I wonder?” He let the spray hit his face. “To be honest—when I first meet someone, I often can’t tell. Not that a disgusting, writhing monstrosity of flesh being ‘male’ or ‘female’ has any relevancy to me—everyone just looks the same.”

“I see...”

“Haha—but I find it quite cute when your skeleton gets all steamed up, Takumi!”

“Yeesh... Well, I hope you’re not disappointed when you see what I really look like.”

“Of course not.” He smiled over his shoulder. “I told you, I won’t be disappointed no matter what you look like—oh, did I tell you that out loud, or did I just think it?”

“You did say it, in the courtyard... You said you wouldn’t even care if I’m as ugly as Shouma thinks he is.” Poor Shouma...

“Haha! I did say that, didn’t I... It’s a little hard to remember, my feelings were so hurt when you rejected my heartfelt confession by flicking me on the forehead...” I rolled my eyes. That wasn’t even that long ago, but it feels like forever...

“Yeah, well—you kinda deserved it, you said some pretty unkind things to me when you were still in that cage.”

“... I suppose I did.” I could see the swirling suds gathering around his feet. “... As much as I don’t want to take ownership of myself for those first few days, I suppose there isn’t anyone else who can apologize to you properly, so—I’m sorry, Takumi. I was being stubborn, just like you said, haha...”

I turned the knob some more when the water started coming out lukewarm. “Well... I realized it wasn’t doing any good trying to convince you and ‘brute forcing it’, so... I guess I was being as impatient as you were being stubborn. So, I’m sorry for that...”

“... Takumi, would you say you’re the type of person who apologizes as a means to smooth things over, even if you don’t think you’ve done anything to apologize for?”

“Well...” What a question... “I guess so... I guess I also say ‘sorry’ when I’m trying to sympathize with someone, it’s not necessarily an apology.”

“I see—that’s good to know.” He laughed lightly, turning so the water could hit his back. He had a pink splotch all down his torso from the hot water. “I find etymological quirks like that interesting, from a sociology standpoint... Why people say the things they do. Haha... I would gather information like that to decide how best to cater my own speech to each specific situation...” Yeesh—that was the most extreme form of masking I’d ever heard. I’m honestly starting to wonder if there wasn’t more at play than whatever glitch caused Eito’s “cognitive disorder”... It was hard to say.

“I see...” I was almost feeling too warm, the shower room had gotten pretty steamy, and my brow was starting to sweat again. “I think I’m about done...” I gave myself another pass with plain water all down my face and body, then turned the shower off. He hadn’t actually answered my question... I guess that was on me for not just asking directly. “So...” I might as well just rip the band-aid off—it was a “fair question” that could cause problems down the line. “I guess what I was asking was—at the end of the day, I’m not just some genderless skeleton—I am a man.” I suddenly felt so exposed, asking in the middle of a communal shower without the water on... “So... When you’re cured, that’s going to be okay with you?” He’d never actually seen a man besides himself before, and he’d never actually seen any women at all—I guess it wasn’t really a fair thing to ask, there was probably no way for him to answer.

He had a big sparkling smile... “Why, Takumi—what a silly question!” He gave me a showy wink like that fake-cured Eito... “I did get it up, didn’t I?”

“Ugh...” I covered my face in my hands. I guess that was true...

百

When we exited the shower room, Shion was waiting outside, buried in a pile of clothes and robes... “Oh—welcome back!” He untied the robe so we could see his face. “I hope these won’t be too warm...” He started untangling all the clothes from himself. “Ah—I have towels here too, somewhere...” Ugh—my heart took critical damage...

“Thank you, Shion—that was sweet of you.”

“Haha... Actually, it was Tsubasa’s suggestion. She wanted me to give her a detailed report afterwards to see if it worked.” He handed me a towel from the depths of his clothes pile—ooh, it was really warm, like it came straight out of the dryer. “She’s really interested to know how my flames work—ah, and Takumi! She found a device that can serve as the base for the ‘Baby Jar’ in the metal shop!”

“Really?” I stopped vigorously toweling my hair. “That is exciting—I just thought of this, our new allies can probably tell us what that substance is that absorbs hemoanima.” Hmm... I wonder if Tsubasa could reverse-engineer the leap suits for that? Although, it would require a lot of explanation on where we got them in the first place...

“They may very well know—even if that substance is a state secret or something that only V’ehxness has access to, perhaps Murvrum can acquire that information from the inside...”

“Maybe...” He really was putting himself in a dangerous position, huh... I really hope V’ehxness doesn’t sus him out before he can safely defect.

Shion handed Eito his towel. “Ah, Takumi? Can I ask you about something, before we meet in the cafeteria for tea?”

“Sure... What is it?”

He looked to the side, still buried in his pile of clothes up to his chin. “Well... Do you recall that Tsubasa offered to be my public-facing mother, if I am able to live and grow normally outside of my pod?”

“Yeah...” I hope he wasn’t going in a sad direction with this...

He peered up at me through his wispy hair. “Well... We were chatting in the entryway while she showed me how to play cards, and she posited that she’d have to be the parent to attend PTA meetings and such, being the more ‘normal-looking’ one...” His eyes went to the side. “And, well... I certainly don’t mind that, but it makes me a little sad to think that Takemaru and Yugamu won’t be allowed to appear publicly as my parents, just because they look a little different...”

I put my hands on his shoulders, feeling the warmth of his flames even through layers of clothing. “You should tell them that—I’ll bet they’ll be touched. Well—tell Yugamu first.” I don’t know exactly where Takemaru’s at on that, he still seemed a little slow on the uptake...

“I should?” His eyes went to the side again. “But...”

“I don’t think Tsubasa was saying that to be mean—she knows how it feels to be judged by appearances, too, so she was probably just trying to avoid it.” I gave him a smile. “But you’re right—it wouldn’t be fair to hide some people away just because they’re less ‘palatable’. Um... if being raised by everyone is still something that you want.” I could feel my brows slope, even though I didn’t mean to.

His mismatched eyes sparkled. “It is—the more Tsubasa talked with me about it, the more I like the idea. Oh, but—I hope that doesn’t hurt Mr. Sirei’s feelings...”

I rolled my eyes. “You heard him—he was literally shouting at the top of his lungs to ‘dream until your dream comes true’. If that’s your dream—then I’m sure that was his way of saying he supports you.”

“... I see.” His flames flickered through the clothes without burning them. “I suppose I can’t help but wonder what ‘regrets’ Mr. Sirei still has... Perhaps he regrets not being able to speak out against his superiors about my role in the mission...”

“Maybe...” Honestly—it seems like things are a lot more complicated than that. I don’t know if Mr. Sirei would actually ever tell anyone, though... Old men like that would rather just let secret pain fester until it kills them. “Well—you can try asking him. Although, he might not give you an answer until all this is over...”

Shion untangled the pants of one of the track suits from the pile. “I certainly hope that Mr. Sirei will be able to live with his regrets, and move forward.”

“Yeah... I guess that’s the most fair thing you can ask for.”

I noticed that Eito had been quiet that whole time, just silently patting himself dry with the towel. He didn’t even thank Shion for the warm clothes...

“... Something on your mind?”

He sighed. “Well—I would prefer to be the parent who attends PTA meetings. I won’t let some underpaid teacher steamroll over what’s best for my child...”

“... You sound like the kind of nightmare parent that makes teachers want to quit.”

He laughed lightly. “Well, Takumi—if you go in with me, we can play ‘good cop, bad cop’!”

“Haah...” It almost made me mad how casually he suggested such a thing... An hour ago he basically said, “Well, Plan B was just to kill myself!” What the fuck—did he even think that through at all? Did he seriously think his other self wouldn’t be royally pissed if he pulled something so stupid?

“Takumi?” His brows were sloped—he still hadn’t put his glasses back on.

“... It’s nothing.” I stepped into the nice, warm track pants. “Let’s go have some tea with Tsubasa—it looked like you guys had something cooking on the portable stove?”

“Oh, yes—Tsubasa was showing me how to make soup.” Shion smiled. “Apparently, it’s really simple—you can throw just about anything you want into some stock, and boil it all together.” I felt like there was more to it than that, but I wasn’t a good enough chef to know...

Shion passed us the other pieces of the track suits, and then handed us the terry cloth robes off his back.

“These are quite warm...” Eito finally spoke to Shion directly. “Thank you—it feels like putting on clothes fresh out of the dryer.”

“I thought so, too.”

Shion looked a bit shy, sitting cross-legged on the pool chair. “You’re welcome...”

百

I’d be lying if I said this impromptu tea with the four of us wasn’t a bit awkward... But Tsubasa was good at carrying a conversation, even if it was obvious only Shion and I were contributing... I couldn’t tell if Eito was waiting for an opening, or just intensely studying the conversation to be able to mask into it better... Who knows. Some of my frustration—and anger, frankly—had ebbed away from that intense conversation in the woods... I just had to remind myself that Eito was walking out onto an unfamiliar stage after studying a very specific script his entire life, and suddenly it was yanked away and I was essentially telling him, “Okay, now you have to improvise—oh, and you’re not acting, everything you say has to be an honest reflection of yourself, not your character. And—action!” Maybe that wasn’t a good 1:1 metaphor, but it was the best I got... I need more tea.

As I reached for the kettle, Eito beat me to it. “You look quite tired, Takumi... Do you want to call it a night after this?”

“Maybe...” I held my cup as he poured more black tea. “Thanks... Maybe I’ll just take a nap under a pile of blankets...” There’s no way I’ll sleep all the way through until the morning announcement—I’ll probably wake up at three or four in the morning and toss and turn with my thoughts, and not be able to go back to sleep...

“I see... I should probably retire early as well, then.” I don’t know if he read between the lines of that...

Tsubasa’s brows sloped. “Hey, so... It was just you two who went out exploring?”

“Yeah... Was there another fire extinguisher missing?”

“No, but...” She clutched her arm. “I just got worried when about half the people didn’t show up for dinner... I knocked on your door, Takumi, but you didn’t answer—that’s when I got Shion.”

He was sitting next to Tsubasa across from us—she even poured him his own cup so he wouldn’t feel left out. “I could sense that you weren’t in the school anymore, but I’m unable to project my avatar too far from my body...”

Tsubasa fidgeted in her seat. “—I know you said to trust you, but I just got worried—” Her eyes scrunched. “So I knocked on Takemaru’s door to see if he wanted to go with me, but he didn’t answer—and Shion told me he was in Yugamu’s room, and Yugamu and Darumi had recently been in the Revive-O-Matic, and no one had seen Darumi or Hiruko since karaoke—I just thought you all went out and got injured, I was so worried!” She clenched her fists. “Just what the heck happened?!”

A silence fell over the table.

Eito pushed up his glasses. “Two people had to use the Revive-O-Matic? That’s news to me.”

Tsubasa was looking at me with pleading eyes, and even Shion’s unsure expression made me feel guilty—but telling Takemaru what happened was one thing, I didn’t think it was my place to blurt out something so personal that Darumi and Yugamu decided to do... um... How could I weasel my way out of this?!

“Takumi?”

“—no one was attacked.” I realized my nails were digging into my palms, and I relaxed. “I guess... You can ask Darumi and Yugamu when they wake up, they’ll probably tell you... I just don’t think it’s my place to say.”

Tsubasa looked on the verge of tears. “Did they get in a fight and hurt each other? What happened? Please—just tell me.”

I couldn’t—I couldn’t just blurt it out with Eito right here, I couldn’t be a hypocrite and condone one person’s “suicide” while condemning another. But I couldn’t just let Tsubasa drive herself crazy worrying and speculating all night—I knew what that felt like, and it sucked.

“Well...” My face was getting warm... Ah—is this what it feels like when Eito’s about to get one of his panic attacks? “I guess... They just wanted a fresh start, so getting remade in the Revive-O-Matic was a symbolic gesture of that.” That wasn’t a lie... Even if I was speculating on Darumi’s motives a bit. “That’s all...”

The table was quiet.

Tsubasa looked like she was going to be sick. “What does that mean?”

“... I don’t know, you’ll have to ask them yourself.” My eyes scrunched. “But don’t say that I told you—just mention that you saw the data in the infirmary.” I felt like such a rat...

She held her hand in front of her mouth. “I see... hrk—” She jumped up out of the bench, pushing out the doors to the cafeteria.

“Ah—” Shion floated up, then stopped. “Um... Should I go with her?”

“I don’t know... She probably needs a minute.” My brows sloped. “But if you want to wait outside the girls’ room for her, I’m sure she’d appreciate that...”

“All right...” Shion floated away, right through the wall.

The table was left in awkward, deafening silence. I was just waiting for the inevitable sardonic comment...

“So.” Eito pushed up his glasses. “Evidently harming one’s self is acceptable when it’s done ‘symbolically’.”

“Don’t even start.” I pressed my face in my hands. “You know that’s not the same... If you do something stupid, there’s no coming back.”

“Haha... I’m aware of that, Takumi.” Surprisingly, his dickish tone subsided. “I just wanted to say my piece... Now, shall we order some food?” I lifted my head, and he had a small smile. “I’m fine with soup—oh, but if we want to share, I just need to make sure the Ration-O-Matic uses veggie stock...”

I peered up at him. “That’s all you had to say? Really?”

“Haha... Well, as you’ve said, Takumi—it’s quite like me to just blurt out whatever I want and then apologize after! So this time, I just thought we’d skip the disingenuous apology...”

“Haah...” I collapsed to the side against his arm. “You really are a huge pain in the ass...”

“Aha...” He hesitantly put his arm around me. “Well, I just want to be sure you’re making an informed decision, before you do something equally-stupid like tethering yourself to someone like me forever...” Who’s saying anything about “forever”... Oh, I guess at some point I started thinking of it that way, saying we should all live together in a big traditional-style house... haah. What a pain...

百

Eito shockingly didn’t slink off to his room when more and more people joined our table for hotpot... First the twins wandered in for a late dinner, although the fishhead and strawberry yogurt stew they made for themselves looked downright disgusting—Tsubasa didn’t even seem to mind when Gaku dropped by, even though he did a horrendous job of not looking at her chest when she was talking... haah. I guess I have my work cut out for me... Actually, talking to Eito in the shower like that oddly helped the conversation be more honest, even with me beating around the bush—it wouldn’t take much modification to turn that private changing room into a small sauna, we should ask Sirei if it can be done with the materials we have on-hand—I think what our group needs is a nice guys’ bonding session. Yugamu was close with the girls, but he could probably use more guy friends... And at this point, the only thing that would help Eito get used to everyone was exposure therapy. Hopefully Takemaru could knock some sense into Gaku, the way he did with Ima during karaoke... And I just want Shouma to feel like he belongs with the group. Hmm... If Shion’s in there with us, we might not even need hot stones...

I’m sure the girls can all have a nice time together, too, especially if Moko shows them how to have a real spa day—I think Darumi just needs more girl friends right now. I couldn’t help but feel that Hiruko could, too... She just seemed so distant, sometimes it felt like she built a wall around herself thicker than Eito’s—she was probably pretty lonely. I don’t know... I want to do something nice for her before Eito and I start bombarding her with questions about leaping and all that.

Oh... But it might be too soon for Kurara and Nozomi... But then again, doing something fun like that might be just what they need to put their problems aside. I can only hope... Moko would probably be the best person to ask to facilitate something like that. But she’d probably suggest they have a sparring match down by the river like an oldschool coming-of-age manga... Who knows—that might actually work. The other girls seemed like they all got along fine already... But I can’t help but wonder if Tsubasa feels a bit left out being more of a tomboy—or at least, not what you’d expect from a gyaru. [A/N: I think Tsubasa is supposed to be a trendy girl who unexpectedly likes cars and machines, something her “normal” friends can’t relate to—but being from Southern California, seeing a brown/tan girl with bleach blonde hair who likes cars didn’t stand out to me at all XD]

“Takumi, have some more stew!”

“Thanks—” I stopped short from fatally dipping my soup spoon into Kako’s fishhead cream of hell—“Gah!” The unblinking fish eye stared back at me from the depths of the lake of fire...

百

“I’m going to take a nap... If I wake up at three in the morning and can’t fall back asleep, can I knock on your door?”

Eito smiled tiredly. “Of course, Takumi. I promise I won’t be cranky with you, no matter how tired I am. Haha...” Well—I guess that was true just earlier today. Man—all this stuff happened in just one day?!

“All right... I’ll see you later, then.” I hopped up on my toes, giving him a hug around the neck.

It felt like he was being a little clingy when he rubbed my back, but eventually he let go. “I’ll see you later, then...”

百

... this is impossible. I can’t sleep at all—all my thoughts were just swirling around and driving me crazy.

“Ugh...” I threw my blankets off me, zipping up a light hoodie. My clothes were still in the dryer...

I stepped out into the cool night... I didn’t even bother to check what time it was. It couldn’t have been that long, maybe an hour or two... Even though it felt like an eternity.

I paused before knocking on his door... Well, he literally told me I could anytime...

I rapped my knuckles on the door. “Eito? Are you awake?”

He surprised me by answering right away. “Hello, Takumi.” He smiled tiredly. “I am awake—truth be told, I couldn’t sleep at all. Haha... I was pacing around the room when you knocked just now...” He moved to the side, gesturing me inside. “Please, come in—I’ll make us some coffee.”

“Thanks... Sorry.”

“There’s no need to say ‘sorry’ unless you’re directly apologizing for something you’ve done, Takumi.” He went over to the cabinet, pulling down the coffee beans. He even asked Sirei for a grinder—he really was a coffee snob. “This will be a bit loud.”

The rough whirring of the grinder echoed around the small room, as I sat down on the edge of the bed. The sheets were still made, he really was just pacing around... I guess I should’ve known better than to leave such an important conversation dangling without resolution, that’s why I was apologizing... But I guess it’s not like I did that on purpose, so I won’t insist...

“Would you prefer cream or half-and-half?”

I leaned back on my palms. “What are you having?”

“Well, I take my coffee black...”

“Oh, that’s right... Uh, do you have any oat or almond milk?”

“I do!” He beamed brightly, even though his lack of sleep was evident. “Hmm... Can I have a sip of yours? Maybe I’ll try some oat milk in my coffee, too...”

“I like it.” I let myself lay down, feeling the stretch in my back with my legs dangling off the edge of the bed. “Haah... That feels nice.” At least I wasn’t worried about catching a cold...

I heard the electric kettle heating up the water for the French press. “I’ll be ready to talk about whatever you want, Takumi. Just let me have my coffee first, haha...”

“Thanks... It doesn’t have to be this big, intimidating conversation.” I pushed my bangs off my eyes. “I want to hear your thoughts, too... I guess I can start by telling you everything I found out my second time around... I at least want you to be on the same page.” As far as all the personal stuff... I don’t even know where to start with that. I just didn’t want it to feel like First Eito’s awful anxiety-inducing talk show...

He set down two mugs. “Can you answer one thing for me, Takumi?” He had a small smile. “Are my parents even real? Was I even born to those people at all?”

I sat up, feeling a light rush of blood to my head. “You weren’t...”

He breathed a sigh of relief. “I see... Well, that’s good to know.” He relaxed back against the counter, curling his hands around the edge. “What a load off my mind! Haha...”

I just blinked. Maybe this wouldn’t be as agonizing a conversation as I thought it would... or maybe it would be worse. With Eito, it was hard to tell...

百

百

百

:(

Hey y’all—sorry for another cliffhanger, but I wanted to keep this chapter focused. Hoo... Well, I have a lot to say, but I’ll try to keep it brief.

I don’t plan on touching on all the same timelines as in the S.F. route—we’ve already seen them, so I just think that’d be redundant. We can just assume that Hiruko went around fixing all the wrong Takumis and closing the loops on her own :) But we may see a few... Just imagining “I’m just a jealous guy” Eito’s reaction to Takumi’s pansexual polycule X’D (hehe, there was a secret nod to John Lennon the whole time!)

As far as my take on the S.F. route—there were definitely things I liked, like Eito’s embarrassing honesty when he saw what Takumi really looked like for the first time (and wanting to be praised for his sweet moves, which obviously I ran with XD), and Sirei being pissed that all the sappy suckerism in the air got to him lol. And I liked the concept of the “cursed cycle” in general... but to be honest, I found myself a little underwhelmed by the end, sorry y’all D’X I guess I just went in thinking that the “everyone lives” ending would be the result of more of a group effort, rather than Hiruko and Takumi doing all this secret stuff behind the scenes that the others weren’t even privy to until way late... I don’t know, I don’t mind Hiruko for the type of character she is, but it just wasn’t my jam having the whole route be entirely focused on her. And since the “Farewell” ending was my first, I just assumed that they’d all find out about the cloning and whatnot in other routes—but no one ever does D’X The only other time I’ve seen it mentioned was one of the random Box of Blessings (Calamity?) routes, when Takumi stumbled on some research notes talking about the S.I.R.E.I. unit being made to keep tabs on the “bio-weapons”, and that Eito being so distraught after reading it that he slit his own throat in front of them in the mansion... I just feel bad for the kids in the S.F. route for thinking they got a perfect ending, when they’re just going to be smacked with the truth once they make it back to the satellite D’X But at least they broke the cycle, and they’re all alive and together... But I still felt like brainwashing Eva and Eito was the wrong way to go about it :( idk y’all, sorry to be a grump, maybe my expectations were just too high. I don’t want to take away from the folks who really like that route—all this is to say that I’m really looking forward to exploring that potential in a different direction...

Anyway—has anyone else watched “The Summer Hikaru Died” anime adaptation? 👀 I’m happy to say that the first two episodes did not disappoint!! Whew—I was worried that it wouldn’t capture the lonely vibes or the creeping dread of the manga, but it really did and then some! The scene where Yoshiki was being yapped at by the nosy cashier lady and being asked really invasive questions about his family is exactly what anxiety feels like lol. I was also worried they would downplay the queer elements, but they actually doubled down, showing more scenes from Yoshiki’s POV and the way he looks at “Hikaru” before he catches himself and harshly turns his head away. The manga also deals with how suffocating it can feel being trapped in a small town, especially if you’re different/queer, and showing scenes from Yoshiki’s perspective with his overgrown bangs in the way, literally keeping his head down and trying not to be perceived are very effective at conveying that. Sometimes we can have nice things 😊 (not looking at you, SH2 remake...)

I bring it up because there’s this great little bonus chapter at the end of Volume 5 that encapsulates Eito and Takumi’s whole deal, and the “try to understand you” promise—basically, Yoshiki has come to accept that Hikaru is never coming back, and this “Hikaru” living inside his body is something entirely different—and he’s only going to keep hurting himself by conflating the two. “Hikaru” is reading a fairy tale book to try to understand humans better, and Yoshiki says he can’t stand that one because it’s about a monster falling in love with a human—it learns to be more human-like and stop eating their flesh, which Yoshiki thinks is just the unrealistic bias of the human writer. The Princess doesn’t learn to accept the monster for how he is—she only marries him when he can pass as more human. Then Yoshiki realizes he was doing the same to “Hikaru”—not trying to understand and accept the entity that he is, but trying to find the best way he can assimilate as Hikaru from now on. He felt it was his responsibility to “teach” him—but it’s really Yoshiki’s responsibility to learn. “Hikaru” then says that even if the monster still secretly wants to eat human flesh, it’s sweet that he chooses not to :) I thought it was pretty apt, please forgive the low-quality photo of my physical copy XD

That’s all for now, see ya next time~

Chapter Text

Chapter 18 — Would That Make You Hate Me?

The white walls reflected the blue glow of the satellite pouring in, warmed by the amber tone of the small table lamp… The pleasant aroma of coffee grounds was all around the room, I’d go so far as to say the atmosphere was almost cozy. 

Eito sipped his coffee with just a dash of oat milk. “Would you like to continue, Takumi? Or are you curious why I’d ask such a specific question?”

Oddly enough, Eito’s blunt question about his parents did kind of serve as an icebreaker. “I’m a little curious to hear your thoughts… I can fill in the blanks as you go along.” 

He had a small smile, holding his mug flat in his palm. It felt like there should be crickets or cicadas chirping outside the window like a proper summer night, but there weren’t any… “Well… Given what my other self told me, combined with your explanation for our ‘transfusions’ at the hospital… I initially posited that my parents handed me over to the government to get rid of me.” Even though I knew such horrible parents weren’t real, it still made my stomach sink to hear that Eito really thought something like that. “But… You were noticeably hesitant to give details, which I can understand. Like when you quietly brushed off Tsubasa’s reasonable question, why no one’s friends or family would notice their prolonged stays in the hospital—or why their families would sign off on such a thing in the first place…” He rubbed his chin. “I suppose desperate times call for desperate measures… But it sounds like the general populace isn’t even privy to the details of the war, and the hemoanima experiments were top-secret. I find it unlikely that they’d risk even scant details getting out, even if they paid off the families quite well.” He took a quiet sip of coffee. “Even someone cynical like me finds it hard to believe that most ‘normal’ families would conspire to keep the truth of what was being done to their children from them. At least—I hope not.” 

“I see…” That’s pretty much how Yugamu figured it out, too—except in his case, he said his family was too proud of their own body modification experiments to allow one of their own to be crudely experimented on by the government. Maybe the others were running up on inconsistencies with their memories, too, so it was only a matter of time… “So… what did you conclude about your parents from that?”

He smirked. “Well… You have to understand that I was only fourteen when I got rid of them. When I thought I did, anyway.” It still made me squirm to hear him say it so casually… “The trajectory of my life completely changed after that. That’s when I decided… Well, you already know.” He pushed up his glasses. “A distant relative took legal guardianship of me—but, thanks to my family’s wealth and their generous donation to my school of choice, I was able to live by myself in student housing while attending school. I only needed to respond to an odd letter or phone call from my legal guardian to prove that I was alive, and prevent an intervention from a social worker.” Really? I never knew all that. “After that, I wasn’t forced to be hospitalized ad nauseum—no one alive knew of my cognitive disorder. The doctor my parents forced me to see was killed in the explosion, you see, haha…” His grin still looked scary, even though I knew he was doing it on purpose. “Although… I will confess I would still often spend time in the nurse’s office at school, simply because I found it oddly comforting…”

“I see…” I really couldn’t think of what else to say.

“Well, at any rate, the point is—the people who implanted those ‘false memories’ in me would have to know about my cognitive disorder in the first place. My ‘righteous eyes’ were the reason I decided to kill all those people… I started with my parents to see if I had the resolve to go through with it on a mass scale.” He calmly sipped his coffee, as if we were chatting about the weather. “That, and well… I felt that they deserved it for the way they treated me.” Something in my heart twisted at his words. “Even before they shoved me away in that hospital, they were always cold and strict with me, just viewing me as an extension of themselves to show off my future successes in their circle… Neither one of them ever sincerely tried to understand me or help me, they were only mortified by the idea of other family members, or our neighbors, or their colleagues finding out about my ‘condition’... I was nothing but a constant source of shame and paranoia to them.” He was looking unfocused at nothing, like he was a thousand miles away. “... I suppose as much of a relief as it is to know that people like that didn’t really exist in my life… I don’t know where this feeling of resentment is supposed to go. Haha… perhaps towards those sadistic scientists who decided to give me such memories in the first place.”

I realized I was completely out of my depth, I couldn’t even think of what to say. My average, boring life where every day was the same was something I took for granted… I couldn’t just say, “Well, all that wasn’t real, so you can forget it”, or, “Your cognitive disorder was just a glitch, anyway”—how was that supposed to make him feel? Even without that “glitch”—what kind of life was Eito supposed to have? I honestly don’t know what those messed-up scientists were thinking… he was probably supposed to be the “calculating intellectual” one, his parents probably still would’ve treated him as a trophy or a bragging point to all their constituents, and not as a son who they loved. I don’t know… I thought it would help him to learn the truth, but his other self didn’t react well to it when he found out, it even further separated him from everyone else since Sirei all but said he was a “defect”… but then again, that’s what gave him the push to change and decide how he wanted to live for himself. I don’t know… I guess I can’t expect him to be able to process everything all at once. And I can’t hold him to Second Eito’s reaction… it’s entirely up to him what he wants to do with this information.

“What are you thinking, Takumi?”

“... I don’t know.” I realized I was hugging my legs. “I just want to hear the rest of what you have to say… there’s no good way for me to tell you all this. And I don’t want you to feel like I’m expecting you to react a certain way… I’ll understand if you want to be alone to think after all this.”

“Hmm… We’ll see.” He was holding his coffee in his lap. “I think it’s easier to accept since I’ve been filling in the blanks myself, and everything was doled out little by little. Haha… I can appreciate you wanting to take the soft approach, Takumi, but my other self’s bluntness helped me to more readily accept things at face value.”

“I see…” Well… maybe that should be my approach with everyone else. If I dole out information and layer things up little by little, they’ll have time to get used to it and it won’t feel like I’m dumping a bomb in their laps…

“Well, Takumi—I won’t regale you with any more stories from my sad life, haha…” The fact that he could even describe his life as “sad”, even with that sarcastic little laugh at the end—First Eito would’ve been way too proud to ever admit that. He said, “There’s no one that I love” like he was bragging about it. I wonder… I wonder if First Eito needed that anger to redirect just how miserable he was. I don’t know… if I asked him, he’d probably just say something snippy and disappear. I wonder if I’ll ever get to have an honest conversation with him before he disappears for good… he did come up to me and touch my hair when I was dreaming.

I realized I was lost in thought again, and I hadn’t responded. “—I don’t mind.” I shifted my back up the cushions I had propped behind me. “If you want to tell me more…”

He smiled to himself. “There’s very little point.”

“I guess…” I bent in my legs, trying to relax. “Well… There is a point, since that’s what you have to inform how you think and feel… Even me, I’ve come to accept that the things that weren’t real are still important memories to me, because of the way they made me feel…” I guess that probably sounded like a slap in the face to him.

He crossed his leg. “How about this, Takumi—if I feel like talking about it, you’ll be the first to know. Is that fair enough?”

“Yeah—I mean, you don’t have to force yourself.” I guess that sounded contradictory to what I just said…

“Hehe—well, make up your mind, Takumi! Do you want to hear it or not?”

I was about to say, “Yeah”… but honestly, I don’t know. I don’t know if I really want to hear how it made him feel “proud” to kill his neglectful parents… Even knowing that didn’t actually happen, just hearing it from his perspective…

“… Yeah, I would. If you feel like talking about it.”

He had an unreadable expression. “… I see.” He crossed his other leg. “Well, let’s save that for another time—I’ve gotten off topic.” He gave me one of his disingenuous smiles, but at least there was a hint of self-awareness to it… that’s what I was choosing to see, anyway. “To answer your question, Takumi—in order to implant memories that continued the narrative of what I did to my parents, the people doing the implanting would have to know about my cognitive disorder in the first place. Or more accurately, they’d have to know about my ‘righteous eyes’, something which I never breathed a word of to any living soul.” He rubbed his chin, looking to the side in contemplation. “I wasn’t interred at Kamukura General Hospital, but a private one… I find it highly unlikely that even if word of my condition got out, that the orchestrators at Kamukura would then find me a fitting candidate.” He smirked. “So, if everything as far back as my parents’ deaths and the hospital bombing were also a false memory, I can’t help but question why a government group desperate for soldiers would find it beneficial to implant memories like that in one of their candidates in the first place. Haha… And if they became aware of my cognitive disorder partway through the process, wouldn’t a cold group of scientists for whom the end justifies the means just terminate me and start over with someone else?” I got a lump in my throat. “It would be antithetical to their mission to put a misanthrope like me out on the field, wouldn’t it?”

I bit my lip. “That…” I felt like I was only delaying the inevitable, but… “I can fill in the blanks for you—but, I would like to hear the lynchpin of your reasoning, if you don’t mind. I’m just curious how you arrived at those conclusions...” It might help me see the gaps in my explanations so far, and figure out how to better approach the others with this.

“I don’t mind at all, Takumi.” Eito took another sip of coffee. “Haha—I get to show off my inductive reasoning skills! Well, I suppose that’d be more ‘abductive’…” Uh… Sure. I couldn’t tell you what the difference was… “Well… Given everything I could safely assume to be true, it would really only make sense if the memories of my parents were false, as well.” His expression turned stony. “For example, if we were all just orphans pulled off the street, without any family that would miss us… Just subjected to endless experiments to infuse us with hemoanima until it was time to ship us off to the front lines.” He pushed up his glasses. “Or maybe we were just grown in test tubes, or birthed from a surrogate in that very hospital, living a tightly-controlled life in some sterile facility, with only false memories as our window to the outside world.”

I hugged my legs. “You’re not wrong… but it goes even further than that.”

“Oh?”

“… Are you ready to hear everything?”

He held his coffee mug calmly. His face almost looked blue from the glow of the satellite. “Go right ahead, Takumi.”

I tried to relax, propping the pillows up more behind my back. Where to even start… “Well… Let me rewind a bit. You probably already suspected this about Shion—I remember you remarked on it when you heard that he has heterochromia, and how it isn’t very common in humans.” I licked my lips. “But it is in Futurans.”

He sipped his coffee. “Yes, that seemed like a foregone conclusion… his power is much too potent to be the result of transfusion. And, given that he’s such a vital part of our mission… Was it his blood that was used to give us our power?”

“It was…”

“I see.” He was absently staring at his coffee, the light from the satellite reflecting off his glasses. “So… How does this all tie back to Shion?”

Here goes… “It wasn’t just Shion’s blood that was taken… it was his DNA.” The tips of my fingers felt a little numb, like my body was remembering the shock of what it felt like to learn this for the first time… “That’s what was used to create us from scratch, just like you said.” I paused, but Eito’s expression didn’t change. “We were entirely created in a lab, and lived our entire lives in those pods. The ones in that room you were staying in… We were never even awake, everything was being fed to us while we were dreaming. To make us believe we were living real lives…”

I could feel my blood heavy in my ears, like the silence in the room was even more dulled.

“… I see.” Eito took a long sip of coffee. His arm moved mechanically, like his mind was somewhere else while his body was on autopilot. “So, none of us are human after all.”

I relaxed my tensed shoulders. “No… We’re all genetically Futuran.” Well—everyone except Nozomi. I guess it would be okay to say that, since everyone already knows that she was related to someone who worked at the lab. “Except Nozomi… She’s the only real human here. Everything about her story is true… but she didn’t know the extent of what the cryptoglobin experiments were for.”

“‘Cryptoglobin’, right—that’s what they call hemoanima?”

“Yeah—that’s the scientific term for it. Well—I guess it’s more accurate to say that ‘cryptoglobin’ is the term for the blood itself, but ‘hemoanima’ is how it manifests as our abilities.” Actually—I never heard the Commanders referring to it as either, just “the power from the planet”, or “the sacred blood”. I guess Sirei just made up the term “hemoanima” to make it sound like a cool power…

Eito pushed up his glasses. I was watching his body language, but… “Well… Even though I thought it was likely that we were all born with this cryptoglobin already in us… I admit that I didn’t think we wouldn’t even be human.”

“You’re taking it surprisingly well…”

“Haha… Well, as I said, Takumi—the truth couldn’t be any worse than the life I lived before.” He tilted back his mug, finishing off his coffee. “Haha… As I’m sure you can imagine, it’s quite a relief for me to know I’m not some filthy human after all!” I honestly can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic… “Would you like another cup?”

“I’m fine…” I hadn’t touched mine since setting it on the nightstand. I stretched to grab my mug, which felt lukewarm between my palms. “… I’m sorry.” My eyes scrunched. “Apparently that whole time we were growing, all of us were being fed those false memories to make us believe we were human, and give us a reason to fight—like there were actually people waiting for us back in the Tokyo Residential Complex… Even I never suspected a thing. I have a lifetime of memories with my Mom and Dad, and Karua…” I licked my lips. “I guess the idea was to give us diverse backgrounds so we’d be able to better make decisions as a team—I don’t know.” I scrunched in my legs. “I don’t know what they were thinking—but… According to Sirei, something glitched out in the implanting process, and that’s how you ended up with that cognitive disorder… You weren’t supposed to be like that.” I couldn’t even look at him. “I’m really sorry.”

I could hear the humming of the mini-fridge in the corner of his room. His skin looked paper white by the glow of the satellite.

“I see.”

After what felt like forever, he stood up to pour himself more coffee.

“You were right, Takumi… Hearing that doesn’t raise my opinion of humans at all, haha…”

“I’m sorry…”

He poured himself another mug without bothering to decant it. “I’ve already said to please not apologize for something you didn’t do.”

“I can’t help it… I doubt any of those scummy scientists are ever going to apologize to us. Not that anything they said would make up for it…” Making us fight and die over and over, making us believe we had someone important waiting for us to come home safe—it just made me sick. “Ugh, it makes me sick when I think about it—I guess you can’t tell, but some people like Takemaru and Yugamu have a lot of scars—but we weren’t out in the world before being shipped off here, so it’s not like they got into any actual knife fights or street brawls—so that means some sadistic scientist had to open up their pod while they were still sleeping and make cuts on them—I can’t stand it.” I buried my head in my arms. It was so gross—I can’t believe anyone up there would be so soulless as to think the end justifies the means, toying with innocent children’s lives to that extent. And we were just children—it’s not like we sprang up fully-formed.

“That is rather sociopathic.” He didn’t pour any oat milk this time. “Coming from me, that should say a lot, haha…”

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. “You’re obviously not a sociopath.” 

“No, I suppose not.” He sat down in the chair he pulled up next to the bed. For some reason, I was the one hogging the bed and all the pillows from the couch…

“Are you sure you’re comfortable there?”

“I’m just fine, Takumi.” He crossed his leg. Since he can’t see other people normally, he probably had no idea how effeminate his body language was sometimes. Not that that mattered of course—it was just interesting to think about. The things I took for granted, just being able to observe things objectively… “Takumi… Before we continue this conversation any further, there’s something I need you to understand.” He sipped his coffee—something in his body language and his slightly-condescending tone just hit my ear the wrong way. “Now I finally understand your perspective, and why you were so insistent on trying to break through to me. To you, the details of my life were all part of some ‘ridiculous backstory’, no better than those trashy battle manga that Kyoshika’s always going on about.” I scrunched my legs in before I could help it. “If I only knew the truth, if I could only understand that everything was all a lie—then I could start from square one and live a normal life. Is that what you were thinking, Takumi?”

“Well…” I couldn’t contradict him, but I couldn’t just say “Yeah”, either.

He smiled patiently, but the edges of his eyes were downturned. “I understand that from your perspective, letting me in on this horrible secret and ‘freeing’ me from my past was the kindest thing you could do for me… but I need you to understand something.” He stretched to set his mug on the end table, and for some reason I almost flinched. “Ah—I’m sorry, Takumi. I suppose my tone is a little pointed. But I’m not angry.”

“—it’s fine.” I hugged my legs. I don’t know why I flinched—he just sounded so serious all the sudden, the atmosphere in the room was getting tense. “Just say what you need to say…”

He relaxed back in his chair. “Well… I feel as if I’m repeating myself. But…” He pushed up his glasses. “Even if you tell me that none of my memories before coming here are real, and even if I can understand that logically… That’s still all that I have to inform the kind of person I am.” His glasses were catching a glare from the lamp. “Even if I didn’t kill anyone before coming here… I intended to.” The hairs on the back of my neck prickled up. “First Eito also came in with the intention to kill, and he followed through with it several times. Up to and including a helpless baby.” I swallowed before I could help it. “He believed he’d killed before, he had no moral quandary holding himself back from doing it again—just based on memories.” That numbness in my fingers was getting worse. “So… I just need you to understand that even if I haven’t done anything like that in reality, I’m still the type of person who would kill. I’m still a person who wanted to continue on a trajectory of killing, punishing humans for all they’ve done—rather than using being thrust into this situation as a fresh start, or a place to reflect and atone.” He was looking right into my eyes, it felt like he was sitting much closer than he was. “I never would have changed if it hadn’t been for your insider information from the future, and my own self telling me my revenge was all worthless.”

I sat up straight, forcing myself to stop hiding with my body language. “I understand what you’re saying—but the fact is that you did change.” He sighed. “I’m not missing the point—your other self changed. And he didn’t decide what he wanted to do with any input from me—after hearing everything, everyone was so devastated no one even came out of their rooms—he could’ve gone around killing all of us if he really wanted to, or he could’ve escaped—but he went up to Sirei and played hardball to get his Infuser back so he could fight with us again.”

He was staring down unfocused at nothing. “‘No one came out of their rooms’... Did that include you, Takumi?”

“I—” It felt like he just focused on a small bit of what I just said and didn’t want to engage with the rest. “Yeah—if you want to know the truth, I… I just gave up and laid in bed all day, and didn’t even get up to eat.” My voice got softer. “It all seemed so pointless… The only thing that made me snap out of it was seeing Nozomi fighting all by herself on the monitor.” I realized I was scrunching my nails into my palms. “It didn’t matter who won the war anymore… V’ehxness was coming for us no matter what, and I didn’t want everyone to just die before we really got a chance to live.” Shit—it was all flooding back. “Not that that mattered, in the end… everyone still died.” I wiped my eye. “Nozomi was the only one left, and in the end I had to leave her behind…”

“Really?” He paused. “You never told me that…”

I sniffed. “How could I? I didn’t have a choice, but—I can’t stand thinking about the fact that I just left her there all alone. Everyone else was dead—all the Commanders, everyone on the Artificial Satellite—I can only hope that she ran into this Resistance we’ve been hearing about, or any other survivors who didn’t want to kill a human like her on sight—but I couldn’t know that at the time.” Eito offered me a tissue box from his desk. “Haah—thanks.” I turned away from him, trying to discretely wipe my nose. “—it just drives me crazy not knowing. And I can’t even hop back to that timeline to see if she’s okay…”

I tried to quietly blow my nose, and Eito was just sitting there with an unreadable expression. “So… You know what that feeling’s like.” I didn’t like the flatness of his tone. “‘If I can’t live the way I want, then I might as well just die.’” That’s—I was about to blurt out that it’s not the same, but… How was it really any different? After finding out that nothing in my life was real—not my Mom, my Dad, or Karua—I felt so numb I just laid down in my bed to rot. I couldn’t even do anything—I was paralyzed by hopelessness. So… That’s how Eito felt, trying to imagine what it’d be like to attempt to live what resembled a “normal” life, while still suffering from his cognitive disorder… I think I finally get it. Ugh… I reacted so badly when he admitted to feeling that way. I just got angry… it seemed so stupid, I couldn’t fathom why he would throw away all the hard work I put into it—he put into it. Shit… I didn’t try to understand his feelings at all, I just got mad because it made no sense to me… I’ve been a shitty friend, I didn’t try to understand what Darumi and Yugamu were feeling either, I just said “okay” because I thought it would help them…

“I’m sorry.” I moved to sit on the edge of the bed. “I both over- and under-reacted when you told me what you were planning on doing… I shouldn’t have gotten mad and called you ‘stupid’...”

Eito laughed awkwardly, and he crossed his leg in a way that read as defensive. “Aha… Well, I suppose your harsh words did help snap me to my senses, Takumi…”

“Did they really?”

He was practically leaned sideways in his chair. “To be transparent with you… I don’t know.” His eyes slid closed. “I think… I let my hopes get too high that my disorder could be cured just like that, both at your words, and when Hiruko handed me this program…” He reached for his pocket subconsciously, but he had changed into sweatpants. “I’m not blaming you—I wanted it to be true just as much as you do. But… the reality that it might not be possible at all, or that the lengths I’d have to go to to make it happen just wouldn’t be worth it…” He smiled at me sadly. “Could you really stand to look at me knowing that my being here was built on sacrificing other Eitos? People who might have been able to change, if their circumstances were just a bit different…”

I tried to sit up straight and compose myself. My second time around, I didn’t know what was going to happen when our decisions all came down to my judgment—I just went with my gut and what I thought was best. It was a Team Leader’s job to make hard decisions—I knew that all too well.

“I don’t want to kill any Eitos. That hasn’t changed. But…” I took a deep breath. “If that’s what it takes to cure you—then so be it.” I looked him full in the face. “I won’t look at you differently—it’s my decision now, as Team Leader.” His eye contact was getting a bit intimidating, but I just let myself blink and forced myself to keep looking at his face. “We’ll only go around taking the data from Eitos who have already died—whether that was from battle, or another Takumi deciding to take their life… Whatever happens in some other timeline is none of my business.” My eyes scrunched involuntarily. “Just like my choices are none of their business…” Honestly—I could’ve happily gone on never knowing about other timelines, it was overwhelming to think about. “But… Once this is all over, I don’t want to jump to another timeline ever again. I only want to…” My voice got a little softer as I tried to gather my thoughts. “... I want to write a letter explaining everything. About where we really came from… and I want to give it to the other timelines’ Takumis to decide whether they want to open it or not. And I’d like to make a copy of the data for the brain glitch repair program, if we can… We can give it out to all the Takumis, on the condition that their respective Eitos have to consent to it being used on them.”

“Hah…” His laugh was almost a scoff. “I imagine there’s more like that liar in the ‘Coming-of-Age’ timeline who would still refuse.” Despite his words, his expression was soft. “But that is very kind of you, Takumi… I don’t object to your idea.” He pushed up his glasses. “After all this is over, I’d also like to never visit another timeline again… We shouldn’t go so far as to destroy the machine, but if there’s a way to password-protect it to something only you know—that will be good enough for me.” He folded his arms. “Or perhaps Hiruko can change it to something only she knows. We still don’t know why exactly she took it upon herself to monitor the other timelines…”

“Oh, right—when we ask her about the machine, I don’t want to ‘confront’ her—let’s just approach her in good faith.”

He was staring unfocused at the wall, lost in thought. “That’s fine… I’d also like to ask her the specifics of ‘locking’ our timeline… I don’t want anyone else coming into ours and interfering.”

“‘Locking’? Is that what it sounds like?”

“Yes—she just mentioned it briefly, but apparently there’s a way a timeline can be locked and rendered inaccessible for fifty days.”

“I see…” I bit my lip. “I’m tempted to just do that to ours now—but I guess that would mean we wouldn’t be able to go back and forth, huh?”

“That may be the case, but I haven’t attempted it yet.” He gave me an odd smile—somewhat tired, somewhat sad, somewhat commiserating. “I’ve gone off-topic again, Takumi—I was just surprised to hear you say that even you aren’t immune to feelings like that.” Oh…

I crossed my arm over myself subconsciously. “I can’t say I’ve ever really felt that way before…” I debated whether I should say this… I didn’t want to rub it in. “Even in my false memories, I had a pretty privileged life. Every day was the same, and I never really had anything to complain about… besides being tired all the time and thinking school was a drag.” I laughed awkwardly. “I guess the only thing I worried about was psyching myself up to start dating in college… I didn’t know if I’d have the confidence to try to date other guys, or just keep that to myself and stick with girls…”

Eito’s eyes went a bit wide, and he actually sat up. “You aren’t gay, Takumi?”

“Huh?” That just about bowled me over. “No, I’m not—I guess you’d say I’m bi.” I sighed in annoyance. “You seriously just asked me that so bluntly? That’s what I was trying to ask you in the shower, you know—but you just kept being so evasive.”

He laughed awkwardly. “Well, I don’t know how I’m supposed to answer that question, Takumi—how would I know? I’ve never considered any loathsome humans to be suitable romantic partners… Would you like me to describe in detail how people look to me again?”

I ran a hand back through my hair. “I guess that’s fair enough…”

His laughter died down. “I suppose that only accounts for so much—even if there’s something wrong with my brain, basic biology would still be at play.”

“I guess so…” I mean—he did get it up, he literally had my dick in his hand and he didn’t go soft—I could only imagine what that would be like getting swept up in some heavy petting, then you open your eyes and it looks like you’re jerking off a skeleton… Did I have a literal bone there instead? Guh—no, it was probably just rotting flesh, like he said… Yeesh, he must really like me if he was able to stomach getting through that…

[A/N: Take all this with a grain of salt—I just kinda read Eito as gay, but I also think he’s so down bad for Takumi he wouldn’t care either way XD Like Ryoji from Persona 3, or perhaps songwriter Cole Porter lol. irl sexuality is a spectrum, but if I was writing an AU, Eito would just be gay lol, if that makes sense. I also feel like he’d be like one of the Mormon kids I knew in high school who were super straight-laced until the second they turned eighteen and got a taste of the “secular world”, then a switch flipped and all the hornt-up energy they were suppressing came flooding out XD]

“To be honest with you, Takumi—I don’t think it would’ve made a difference to me if you happened to be a girl.” He clasped his hands together with a small smile. “Seeing another me who was a woman made that more clear—the differences are only skin-deep.” I was kinda surprised to hear such a sheltered guy like him say something so based. “Although, it’s impossible to say if I’d find you or any other woman sexually-attractive—I’ve never seen any women, after all. Besides my other self, that is, haha…” He clasped his hands around his knee. “But—who can say. I might be like you, Takumi—or I may be gay, after all.” He laughed a little. For some reason, I expected him to use a more clinical term like “homosexual”... “I have been called ‘gay’ for being such a ‘prettyboy’, haha—maybe they were onto something, after all!”

“Geez… Who was in charge of giving us these stupid memories?!”

He laughed lightly. “We may never find out, Takumi… I imagine everyone involved would wash their hands of the project and try to disappear. It wouldn’t be shocking that even a bunch of ‘sappy suckers’ would want to seek retribution…”

“Hmm…” I wonder—if I asked them sincerely, would Sirei or Nigou be willing to gather information on the cryptoglobin experiments and the names attached, so we could try them for crimes against humanity when this was all over? Even I don’t want to just murder anyone, no matter how much my gut reaction is to say they deserve it…

“Well, at any rate—if I’m cured, I doubt I’d just go run off with someone else, Takumi—even if I did find them attractive! So I suppose it doesn’t matter.”

Oh, so now he wanted to stick around after being cured? “... that’s not what you said before.”

He smiled sadly. “I suppose it isn’t.” He unclasped his hands, crossing his other leg. “I’m sorry, Takumi—even if my cognitive disorder is cured, there may very well be something else wrong with my brain that will make it very difficult for me to live a normal life.”

“I wish you would stop saying there’s ‘something wrong with your brain’... it was just an accident.” My voice got a little softer, and I regretted saying it as soon as it passed my lips.

He got that resigned look again… “That doesn’t exactly bring me comfort. Even if it’s something that can be fixed. I can’t just treat it like waking up from a bad dream… Any more than you can treat your family like just a passing dream…” I saw something deep in his eyes—it was almost like he was pleading with me. “A lifetime of bad memories won’t just disappear overnight. It’s still my life.”

I pat my hand on the mattress. “Can you come here?” 

He hesitated a second, then pushed himself up. He sat next to me stiffly, and I put my arms around him.

“I’m sorry I’ve made light of what you’ve been through by focusing on curing you.” My forehead touched down on his shoulder. “I know you can’t just dismiss all those bad memories now that you know they aren’t ‘real’—the emotions they made you feel are real.” I bit my lip. “I can’t even imagine what it’d feel like to hate your parents so much you want to kill them, and actually go through with it—I can’t imagine what it still feels like knowing you’re the kind of person who would lean into that. I was just focused on trying to give you the chance to start over—I wasn’t taking what it really feels like to be you into consideration. Ugh—I’m really backsliding on my promise…”

I just barely heard him sigh. “I know you have nothing but good intentions, Takumi… But I have to admit that it doesn’t feel very good being pitied by you.” He said that, but he did snake his arm under so he could rub my back. “I don’t resent you for it—I’m not about to fly off the handle like that other Eito we saw tonight, but… it’s a feeling that makes me uncomfortable. Haha… that’s why I killed everyone in that hospital who ever pitied me, or knew about my condition—or, at least, that’s how my immature mind imagined myself reacting to feeling pitied by others… Do you see what I mean?” His nails scratching my back did little to dispel the tense vibe, and I kept holding onto him. “If that’s the stimulus that was fed into my brain… I could’ve chosen to react differently. I could’ve reached out to a different family member, I could’ve reported myself to CPS, I could’ve run away and lived by myself out in the woods, I could’ve quietly taken my medication and lived in that sequestered room and stayed out of everyone’s way, and taken comfort in books and the small joys I was afforded… or I could’ve taken the easy way out.” Ugh—I hated hearing that. “But I chose violence. I chose the type of person I wanted to be from those available options in my mind—it doesn’t matter that those things didn’t really happen.” His hand abruptly left my back. “My mind is still dangerous.”

I don’t know if this is the right approach—I’m not a therapist or a psychologist, I don’t know what I’m doing—but I just have to go with my gut.

“Honestly, Eito—at this point, it just sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself.”

His room was quiet, bereft of even the ambient noise of a ticking clock or water running through the pipes in the walls.

“I don’t know if I’m off-base with this—but it just sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself that you’re this bad person at the core, and you don’t deserve this and that—I don’t know why, maybe you’re scared of getting your hopes up and being disappointed—maybe you’re scared of disappointing me, I don’t know. But—it just sounds like you’re trying to push yourself away from everything preemptively. That’s why it bothers me…”

His room was agonizingly quiet. I could feel my face burning in the silence, anticipating him saying something, anything…

“Ahaha…” I felt his cheek lay on top of my head. “Well… you may be right about that. Perhaps only the false me was able to be so ambitious… maybe the real me is just a coward.” I felt his nails on my back again. “I’m sorry, Takumi—I think you’re just going to have to live with being disappointed by me.”

“Pft—” I almost laughed. “Yeah, well—how am I supposed to keep my promise if you keep obfuscating what you’re really like from me?” I gently turned my face to the side, and I felt him lift his head before settling his cheek back on my hair again. “Even if I am disappointed—so what? That’s on me for having too high of expectations…”

“Ugh…” He sounded distressed, like First Eito when he was faking one of his bouts of illness… Well, I guess he wasn’t really faking. “If you really did decide you were disappointed with me and wanted nothing to do with me after all this, I don’t know what I’d do…”

“Geez—but you were still going with your stupid plan to make me hate you by killing all the other Eitos?”

He was quiet for a second. “Would that make you hate me, Takumi?”

It was my turn to be at a loss for words. “Well… If you really did that, I think it would shock me.” I let my eyes close. I guess I never got to drink my coffee… “It just doesn’t seem like something you would do… You really would’ve gone through with it? Or were you just hoping I would stop you?” I still had my other arm around him. “Is that why you looked so pleased with yourself when I ‘caught’ you? Your eyes were practically sparkling.”

“... Haha, well, who knows, Takumi.” I rolled my eyes, enjoying the growing warmth from his cheek radiating down through me. His nails felt pretty good… I was feeling nice and relaxed.

“Hey, let’s go to bed… I don’t mind talking some more, but I’m just exhausted.”

“... Sure, Takumi.” He sounded a little hesitant. “Are you all right wearing that tracksuit to bed?”

“It was good enough when I went to bed the first time.” He finally lifted his head, and I lifted mine. “Is that all right?”

“—of course. Oh, and my sheets were just washed this morning…”

“Oh, really?” When did he have time to do that? I guess it doesn’t matter…

He stood up and brought the cushions back over to the couch, and I peeled back the sheets and the heavy blanket and crawled into bed. Oh—at some point he must’ve brought in a second pillow. That was kinda bold, for him…

I watched as he walked to the bathroom to throw what was left in our cups down the sink. “Oh, sorry—I kind of forgot about my coffee.”

“It’s all right, Takumi.” I barely heard him as he swished water around in the mugs. It looked like he was debating cleaning them all the way, then he just left them sitting upright on the sink counter. He walked back to the bed a little stiffly. I wanted to ask if everything was all right again, but he’d probably just say it was…

He circled the bed to turn off the light, setting his glasses on the desk. I scooted back so he could get in from that side. 

He smoothly slid into bed, but it felt like he was just laying next to me and not with me.

“... Is there a particular side you like better?”

“It doesn’t really matter to me, Takumi.” His voice was just above a whisper. Well, it still sounded like something was bothering him—

I sighed. “—great, I forgot...”

“Ah—what’s the matter, Takumi?”

“Sorry—I realized we didn’t talk about any of that other stuff—the stuff First Eito was bothering me about.”

“Oh…” He laughed a bit. “Well, I suppose First Eito can just ‘eat shit and die.’”

“—what?!” If I was drinking my coffee, it would’ve been a spit-take. “Oh my God—where did that come from?” I started snickering at the absurdity of it.

“Aha… Well, I was reading a banned book about artists who criticized the government back on Earth… apparently that was a song a female comedian wrote about the President at the time. ‘Eat shit and die~’” His shy attempt to sing it was shockingly endearing.

“Wow…” I clasped his hand, scooting closer to him. I was still snickering... “That might be the first time I’ve heard you curse…” If you didn’t count “hell”—but First Eito might’ve said “damnit” at some point, I don’t remember…

“Ah, well, it was a quote, you see—I find foul language like that rather distasteful.”

“Uh huh…” I was close enough that I was hoping he’d just put his arm around me… I guess I’ll have to be the proactive one again. I just want him to speak up if something’s bothering him…

In the dark, it felt like time ticked by agonizingly slow… 

“Takumi?”

“Yeah?”

“... There was something First Eito asked me that I found hard to answer, even to myself… It should be a simple question, but I found it surprisingly hard to put into words.”

“... What is it?”

“He asked, ‘What do you really like about Takumi?’” I could hear the disdain in his impression of First Eito. “‘Besides the fact that he’s the only loathsome human to show your lonely self unconditional kindness?’ Or something to that effect…”

“Geez—his questions to me weren’t even that loaded…”

I felt him almost playing with my hand in the dark, kneading it like a stress ball. “Well… I’ve been trying to put it into words since then. If I’m honest, I suppose what he posited wasn’t wrong… but I don’t view you as a saint, walking around doling out unconditional kindness to those less fortunate…” He squeezed my hand. “How to put it… If I can be crude for a minute, one of the things I like about you is that you don’t bullshit me.”

I can’t say I was expecting to hear that… “Yeah?”

“Yeah...” It was odd hearing him echo my casual speech. “I like it when you call my carefully-laid plans ‘harebrained’ and ‘stupid’...”

“You like that?” Well, that wasn’t on my Bingo card...

“Hehe—I do, it’s very grounding to me.” He brushed the back of my hand with his thumb. “You don’t walk around with this smug savior complex, like a figure that came down from the Holy Mountain with instructions on what we should do—you’re just a regular person trying your best. You acknowledge that you don’t always know what you’re doing, and you second-guess yourself, even though you have very strong principles. But you still want what’s best for everyone, and you agonize over whether your decisions are right... and even though you already have so much regret, you’re still trying your hardest even when the cracks are showing... Haha, it’s a bit embarrassing to say all this out loud to you...”

“Honestly, it’s a bit embarrassing to hear, too...”

“Hm.” He laughed lightly. “Then pretend I’m merely talking out loud to First Eito to get him off my back.” His voice got softer, I could feel the slight warmth from his breath hitting my hand. “Since you and I have the same memories, Eito—you know that we’re not very fond of therapists or psychiatrists.” I felt my throat tighten. “Takumi doesn’t try to talk down to me like he has all the answers—he just talks to me like an equal. And I appreciate it when he second-guesses himself in real time, or gets flustered and says ‘I don’t know’, it’s very endearing…”

“Ugh…”

“Hehe…” I felt him scooch in a bit closer in the dark. “And we see eye-to-eye on certain things—he agrees with me that all the destructive things humanity has done are reprehensible, and he doesn’t want to repeat those atrocities on this planet. Even if I wonder if his faith in humans’ ability to change is misplaced… his earnest belief in others makes me want to believe him, too, so that must be worth something…” Honestly, it wasn’t much less embarrassing imagining him saying all this to freaking First Eito… “It’s because he’s been betrayed and felt true pain, and he still wants to give those people a second and third chance that makes me admire him, even if I can’t help but think it’s a little foolish… His kindness is the real deal.” He hummed to himself with a small laugh. “Oh, but—I also like it when he’s sarcastic with me, and challenges my ideals and doesn’t hold back.” Ugh… “What else… he’s very cute when his skeleton steams up, and his messy hair that sticks out all over is probably very cute, and when I touch his ears—”

“Gah—enough, I get the picture.”

“But I have more!”

“I get it…” I squeezed his hand. “Ugh…” I had blown way past the point of regret… “I guess it’s my turn next…”

“Well, hopefully it’s not hard to think of a few things, at least, haha…”

“Geez… I’m just going to imagine I’m talking to Shion or something.” Just like “the difference between love and hate”... this was just for the sake of education on the nuance of the human heart. “I guess… I like that Eito’s so awkward. It’s endearing to me… it really feels like this is the first time he’s actually tried to make a real connection with someone, and he doesn’t know what he’s doing, and it’s very cute… It’s a wide contrast to how I know he can be.”

“... Very illuminating, I think that’s sufficient.”

“No, there’s more.” I snickered, clasping his hand more snugly. “He’s super weird… he says things he probably means unironically behind this weird laugh and a layer of sarcasm—I’ve gotten used to it, and I’ve learned to read between the lines with him. And I like it when he still says pointed things, too—it lets me know he’s not bullshitting me, either. And… I can tell that he has the capacity to be kind.” I moved our hands so they were resting on my pillow. “Otherwise he wouldn’t have picked out a duet song like that, with how terrified he was of singing… And as stupid as his stupid plan was, I can see the logic behind it… he wanted to follow in the footsteps of someone he really admired, and pay that kindness forward… there’s not really any other way to spin that.” Eito was completely silent next to me, probably mortified hearing just how hard I believed in him out loud… “I think he’s really trying, too… and I admire him for that. I don’t know—at some point, I just realized I actually did like him… that’s why I’m trying hard, too. What else… Well, this feels superficial to say, since he has to tolerate whatever I look like to him…” I turned our hands so I could plant a kiss where our palms met. “But I do find him really attractive… Um… But I wouldn’t describe that to Shion, though.”

“Haha…” He actually laughed. “Well, I certainly hope not…” He snuggled closer to me. “... You think my laugh is ‘weird’, Takumi?”

“Super weird.” I slipped my foot down between his shins—he jumped just a little, then he finally got the memo and snuggled up to me, and then some... “But like I said, I’m used to it…”

“Takumi…” His free hand was moving through the back of my hair—his face was mostly shadowed, but I could see the satellite glow through the ends of his hair. The impromptu kiss was slow, he was melting into me like slow-dripping honeycomb…

It felt like we were on the same page… after such a heavy conversation, what was wrong with finding comfort in each other like this? It didn’t feel like “licking each other’s wounds”... it just felt like confirming all that embarrassingly honest stuff we just said, without words. I did really like him, it wasn’t just residual obligation from a promise to his other self… And Eito deserved to feel what it felt like to be loved, and cherished… and I wanted to feel that way too, I haven’t been good at looking out for myself lately…

The barrier between our bodies melted away, there was no distinction anymore… I just wanted to be treasured and loved on all over, and I wanted to do that for him, too… The smooth sound of the tracksuit zipper barely registered over the soft wet smacks and his cute ragged breath.

“—what do you like, Takumi?”

“Just touch me all over…” I wrapped my arms around his back, pinning him on either side with my legs. “Everywhere…” I let out a little gasp when his lips found my neck, his silky hair tickling my chin… He was kissing all down my chest, holding the small of my back with one hand and sliding his palm up the underside of my thigh with the other, I couldn’t help but arch up into him… I really felt like he was treasuring every inch of me, he didn’t feel like a sycophantic worshipper at the feet of his God at all, just someone who really... oh, so that’s what this feeling is...

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🙇 please forgive me for such a diabolical cliffhanger 🙈

Originally the ending scene was a little spicier, but honestly letting the intimacy fade out like something private between them makes it feel stronger to me… 💕 I also realized that this whole chapter was just one continuous scene, that might be a first!

So I read a translation of Kodaka answering fan questions, and he said, “Aotsuki likes music like his battle theme”—Eito is a metal kid confirmed XD Although I could also see him as a weird Patrick Bateman type who listens to cute pop music, even though he can’t explain why he likes it when asked lol. Like I was driving around listening to Tori Amos and I thought, “Eito would probably secretly like gentle songs like ‘Sleeps With Butterflies’, and Takumi would be like, ‘This guy’s so freaking weird, I just can’t get a read on him.’” XD Since we’re talking about Kodaka and the meta-narrative though—I think it’s a really interesting idea that Eito doesn’t actually need a prescription, and he wears glasses to purposefully blur his own vision. But since that wasn’t explored in-game (he still keeps his glasses on even after he’s cured in S.F.), we’ll just leave it as-is. I also just think Eito looks cute with glasses XD But I still do think Takumi looks different to him when he’s not wearing them... Who knows, any DLC or side-episodes might change the canon 👀

Anyway, I wanted to touch on Eito’s backstory a little more—he said he was “just a child” when he blew up that hospital, but I felt it was important for his first victims to be his parents—and if he was too young when he killed them, then that would limit the time he was forced to be hospitalized. (To be completely transparent, when I first saw his bonding events where he was like, “Oh, I killed my parents! And my friends! And I blew up a hospital, but they never caught me!” I thought that sounded kinda dumb lol, I was like, “What kind of ‘we have Johan Liebert at home’ backstory is this?” But I’ve accepted it for what it is lol) I thought 14-15 was a good balance, since that’s around the time troubled teenage boys going through puberty start developing severe emotional problems in real life… Not to get too dark here. Lol I thought of a joke for “Dark Humor Mommy” Yugamu to say—“You know, Eito, you should be grateful to Takumi—at least now you’re not an incel serial killer.” But is that in too poor taste? XD idk I made fanart of Crow telling Rean, “Ya know, I really like you, Rean—don’t come to school tomorrow” so my barometer might be a little off lol. I feel like black comedy can be cathartic, one of my favorite movies is Little Miss Sunshine 😊

Anyway—I’ve been meaning to draw this comparison for a while, but there wasn’t really a good place to put it lol. There’s an anime series I really like called K, I’ve hardly heard anyone else talk about it (even though there’s tons of Sarumi doujin out there lol). To keep it brief, the premise revolves around a small number of ordinary people gaining power and becoming “Kings” in the modern age, and they can imbue a part of their power to people in their inner circle who become their “clan”. There’s some semblance of balance as all the Kings are supposed to work in tandem with each other for the betterment of society behind the scenes, but for some Kings that power is nothing but a burden, and can be difficult to control. 

In two of the more prominent clans, there are these two guys who serve as their respective thirds-in-command, and it’s obvious they have history—the more hot-headed and emotional one in the Red Clan is Misaki Yata, and the more cruel and calculating officer of the Blue Clan is Saruhiko Fushimi, who seemingly just shows up out of nowhere just to antagonize Misaki and force him into a fight. We see a flashback that reveals that originally Saruhiko was also part of the Red Clan—they were just fucking around on the streets bored and frustrated one day, and the Red King picked them up like, “Hey, if you punks are so bored, come hang with us and do something with your lame-ass life.” (He’s a former delinquent, and everyone in the Red Clan just fucks around at his buddy’s bar all day XD) They both thought he was cool so they impulsively joined up. But when Misaki later confronts Saruhiko about trying to leave and join the Blue Clan, calling him a “traitor”, he made a show of burning his own Red Clan brand off his chest and purposely severing their ties in the most excessive and disturbing way possible, saying, “This is how I really feel.” 

Later in one of the movies (there are SEVEN, if you can believe it, and an eighth between the first and second seasons), it’s shown that they became friends in junior high despite their vastly different personalities, and they even dropped out of school to live together off of what Saruhiko could make from programming and hacking (they still call each other by their first names in the present, even though they supposedly hate each other). Saruhiko was aggressively anti-social, and he had one parent who was extremely distant and did the bare minimum of meeting all of his needs financially (they were quite wealthy), and his other parent was just outright cruel and abusive. Misaki came from a big family, so he left home so it’d be easier for his Mom to focus on his younger siblings. There’s a scene where Misaki finds his way to Saruhiko’s family home to drop off some schoolwork while he’s out sick, and Saruhiko half-seriously asks for Misaki to take care of him—and he’s shocked that he actually does, like he didn’t think people could actually care for each other like that. (For dub enjoyers, I feel it’s important to point out that Misaki has the same VA as Caspar from Fire Emblem: Three Houses, and Saruhiko is played by the GOAT Johnny Yong Bosch XD Also—Saruhiko is a tall misanthropic nerd who wears glasses and Misaki is a short king with red hair—coincidence??)

So a few years after they joined up with the Red Clan, Saruhiko starts bitterly observing from the sidelines that the only person who was ever important to him is practically worshipping the Red King like he’s the greatest thing since sliced bread, and he doesn’t know what to do with these feelings, and he gets so angry and jealous that he burns out his brand and makes sure that Misaki feels as “betrayed” as possible—because if he can’t have his affection, he wants his hate. He doesn’t care how bitter it is, he just wants Misaki looking only at him… And I’m not just reading into that, his character song (sung by his Japanese VA Mamoru Miyano) is literally called “I Beg Your Hate”.

Anyway… do with that information what you will D’X 

Thanks for reading, see ya next time~

Chapter Text

Chapter 19 - The Real Me

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Day 18 - Evening

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“Oouut there!~ Walking in the suunn~ Living one daaay, out there~” The hunchbacked boy swung from the parapets of the tower, marveling at the town below that was completely unaware of his existence… “All I ask is oooone~ To hooold forever~”

Shion was hugging his knees, completely transfixed on the projection.

“Oouut there!~ Where they all live freee~ And I swear, what I’d giiive~” The orchestral music swelled. “What I’d daare~” Shion’s eyes were as wide as the moon. “Just to liiive, ooone daay, oouut theeeere!~” The hunchback sang his heart out, looking so small high atop his stone and glass prison…

Shion hugged his legs, hiding his face in his knees.

“Ah—” My hand instantly flew to his back—I knew this was a bad idea, it was too on-the-nose…

Shion sniffled. “—I’m not upset.” He mustered a smile, one of his eyes scrunched closed. “—I hope he gets what he wants.” He sniffed again, even though his avatar didn’t show that he was crying… “I hope he finally gets to go out into town, and the people accept him for who he is…”

“Well—do you want  me to spoil it?”

“Ha...” He laughed lightly. “... no...” He wiped his eye, even though there weren’t any tears. “Ah—I always forget.” He laughed shyly. “Um... Even if this movie has a sad ending, I still want to see it.” He composed himself somewhat. “... Even sadness and longing is something that I never felt before... I still want to treasure these feelings.”

I couldn’t help but rub his back… Even though I knew it was just an avatar, it still felt like I was connected to him. “All right… Do you want me to rewind it a little? This is actually a pretty good song…”

“I’ve got it.” Eito pointed the remote at the player connected to the projector, rewinding to the shot of the hunchback singing down from his tower, as the camera pans out over the city. “Now that we’ve paused it… I wanted to mention that corrupt priest’s line—‘You are deformed, and you are ugly—and these are sins for which the world holds little pity’...” He pushed up his glasses. “... I just felt that was quite poignant. Humans really are wicked to one another…”

… Maybe this was too on-the-nose in more ways than one…

Shion smiled up at Eito on his other side. “Do you mind rewinding to the beginning of the song? I want to listen to it again, and pay more attention…”

Eito had quite the rare expression—a soft smile. “Sure.” He pressed rewind again, the hunchbacked boy sliding up the decorated tower in reverse…

He marvelled up at his humble room jury-rigged into the belltower, tucked away from the eye of the public. “Safe behind grand windows, and cold parapets of stone~”

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Earlier that morning…

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“Haha, I see—I wish I could meet him for myself.”

“Well… perhaps I can convince him to show himself again. Although…”

… hm? Who’s talking…

I rubbed my eye, greeted by the brightness of twin purple flames when I opened my eyes all the way. “Oh… There’s two of you, now?” I sat up, pushing my messy hair out of my face. “I thought you always appeared as one in my dreams…”

“Oh, good morning, Takumi!” One of the Shions smiled brightly at me. “It’s me—my other self was able to pull me into your dream like this!” He was beaming excitedly.

“Good morning, Takumi—I hope we didn’t wake you.” The Shion whose hemoanima was inside me smiled almost shyly. “Lately I’ve enjoyed talking to my other self like this while you’re asleep… but I didn’t want you to feel left out, so I thought we’d stay near you this time.”

“Oh—I see.” I smiled, pulling back the covers. The glow from their flames reflected really prettily off the white walls, like an aurora—gah! 

I whipped my head around to look at the bed—it was empty. Whew—I forgot this was a dream. That’d be really awkward if they were just chatting away in his real room, while Eito and I were snoozing away wrapped up in each other’s arms…

“Um… Takumi?” Shion III’s brows were sloped.

“What is it?”

His large eyes flicked to his other self, and he clutched his arm defensively. “Well… The truth is, I’ve been talking to my other self about the Eito from his timeline… It sounds like they got along quite well.”

“That’s true.” Shion I&II pressed his hand to his heart with a small smile. “As unlikely as it seemed, Eito became someone very precious to me.”

“Aww…” It was my first time hearing him say that out loud…

“Yes…” Shion III tucked some of his hair behind his ear—I’d never seen him do that before, he was picking up more and more mannerisms from everyone. “Well… The truth is, I want to get along better with Eito.” His brows were still sloped sadly. “But… I don’t know if he likes me that much. He still feels so distant, I don’t know what I’m doing wrong…”

“Aw…” I jumped out of bed, wrapping him up in a hug. His flames felt as warm as if he was really here… “You aren’t doing anything wrong—Eito’s just weird like that.” I pat his back. I guess that was a little mean, putting it that way… “It’s his first time trying to genuinely get along with people, without putting up a mask… He can actually be pretty shy, and he gets nervous in social situations easily.” I think Eito was onto something last night when he said only his “false self” was able to be so ambitious and outgoing… “So—just be a little patient with him. I keep having to remind myself, too…”

“Ah—I see.” Shion breathed a sigh of relief, and he seemed much less apprehensive when he hugged me back. “That’s encouraging to know.” Hmm… If I said something to Eito, it’d probably just make him feel more insecure… I have to find something that all three of us can do together so he can let his guard down a little more. I mean, Shion didn’t blink seeing us both naked when he was handing us our towels, so there’s really no need to feel embarrassed… [A/N: Apparently, nakedness is used to express childlike innocence in Japanese culture/media—like in the original Mother 2 (Earthbound), during Ness’ dream he’s walking around naked lol, they changed it in the English localization for him to be wearing pajamas. I’m kinda in that camp where there’s nothing inherently sexual about nakedness, but I went through a weird hippie phase lol]

“Oh—apparently he still can’t really see you in there, he says you just look like a huge flame to him.” I pulled back so we could talk more easily. “You might want to give him a little signal the next time you want to go in for a hug—that way he won’t look so caught off-guard.”

“Ah—I see.” Shion rubbed his chin. “I hadn’t given that consideration…”

“It’s all right—like I said, it’s not like you did anything wrong.” I rolled my eyes. “Eito’s just a special case… Just approach him like a feral cat that finally came inside to eat food out of a bowl…”

“Oh, my… Well, I wouldn’t know what to do with a feral cat, either…”

“Hm-hm.” Shion I&II laughed lightly. “I suppose our Eito was very much like a feral cat, as well…”

I peered around the room, awash with a purple glow. “… Is he here, too?”

“Hmm…” Shion I&II closed his eyes like he was concentrating. “Well, he never explicitly asked me not to tell you… but Eito has also been looking through bloodspace lately. It seems there are some timelines out there that bother him, so he wants to keep himself as informed as possible…” Well, that didn’t sound ominous or anything…

“I see…” Well… it felt a little lonely knowing that he wasn’t here with me… I hope he didn’t get jealous and fly off to bloodspace when I started getting cozy with the other Eito… who knows. “Ah—I just realized you’re both on fire!”