Chapter Text
The world is silent when Izuku wakes up, no bird calls outside his window, no rain beating against the roof. Nothing to distract him, nothing to pull him out of his bed. It’s quiet, but not calm. There’s a tension in his shoulders, telling him that something’s wrong, that he’s missing a key detail.
So, he pauses. He takes a deep breath, listening to his heartbeat as he tries to figure out what’s wrong. It’s nothing dangerous, nothing that could end up with him dying in an alley. No, it’s something else, and he’s not sure what.
He searches, thinking about the last few days, trying to find an error in judgment or small slip up that built up into something worse. Nothing comes to mind, nothing explains the feeling, nothing looks even remotely off. Everything should be fine, and whatever is going on can’t be all that dangerous.
No, he would feel far worse than this if that were the case. This is something small, and most likely inconsequential. There’s no point in worrying about something that won’t make a difference. If it’s important, it will come up eventually and then he’ll deal with the consequences. Yes, everything is fine.
All it takes to push the feeling away is one deep breath, mind focusing on today for the first time since waking up. There are things to do, people to meet, an appointment he created but won’t be participating in. He’ll introduce his teacher to his pupil and then he will leave, probably to wait outside the door until one of them walks out of the room.
He’ll stay, even though he can’t take part, because he can’t help but be anxious and waiting for the results any longer than necessary will likely drive him crazy. It shouldn’t make him anxious, because really he’s fine with either outcome. If Shinsou passes, he will have successfully completed an exchange. If Shinsou fails, he won’t be forced to take part in the sports festival.
Either outcome should be fine, but he still want’s this to happen for reasons unknown even to him. It baffles him, and probably will baffle him until he finally leaves this godforsaken school.
The sound of a notification drags him out of his thoughts, eyelids peeling open until he’s staring at his bedside table with a frown. It’s fairly early, almost five thirty, which means it could only be one of three people texting him. Shinsou, Kacchan, or Ochaco. Everyone else is either fast asleep or too busy to be texting others.
It dings again before he has a chance to move, then a third time before going quiet. He sighs, uncurling from under his sheets and reaching out for the device, curious enough to push past the heaviness of his limbs. Staring at the screen as he turns it on wasn’t the best idea, eyes stinging from the brightness until he can dim it and finally open his messages.
Ochaco: Hey! You have the afternoon off, right? Any chance we could do some training? I wanna get stronger :3
Ochaco: Oh, wait, you’re probably not up yet
Ochaco: So sorry bout that!
Right, Ochaco. It’s been a while since they trained together. He is free after class, but only because Shinsou’s evaluation will be taking place during heroics. Though Shinsou will probably be ready to go home after it ends, so it should be fine.
Izuku: It’s fine, I was awake.
Izuku: I can do that. Gym seven work?
Ochaco: That’d be perfect! I’ll be there
Izuku: Okay. See you in class.
Yes, that should be fine.
“Midoriya.” Izuku jerks, looking up from where he was writing down some notes in his textbook. The classroom is empty, all the students having gone to lunch, leaving him alone with his thoughts for just a few minutes. He wasn’t expecting anyone to be here, least of all his homeroom teacher.
“Sensei?” Aizawa steps into the room, still wrapped up like a mummy with an exhausted look on his face.
“Have you told your new pupil about his evaluation?” Okay, he’s just making sure all his ducks are in order. That’s normal.
“Yes sir.” Aizawa stares at him for a second before blinking with a sigh, but he doesn’t leave. Is there something else that needs his input?
“Are you really planning ongoing through with this?”
...Oh. Aizawa wants to know why he’s going this far for someone he met a week ago. How is he supposed to respond when even he doesn’t know? Whatever, he doesn’t need to say anything he doesn’t want to.
“If he passes your test, then yes.” His answer doesn’t seem to satisfy, which is as expected. He didn’t explain anything, and that’s all his teacher wants, an explanation. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have one.
“Why?”
“Why what, sir?”
“Don’t be smart with me. Why would you go so far for someone you barely know? It’s obvious you hate the idea of being a hero, and you purposefully specified that we weren’t allowed to force you into the Sports Festival. Why would you go this far?” The words stop there, replaced by a restless silence that sits over them with a heavy weight.
The only problem is that Izuku doesn’t know.
He really doesn’t know.
He’s thoughts about it for hours, and he’s no closer to an answer than he was at the very beginning. There’s nothing forcing him into this, no one pushing him out of his comfort zone other than himself. He’s doing this, and he doesn’t know why.
Aizawa doesn’t push him, letting the silence fester as he waits. There’s nothing to say, but he needs to say something, needs to break this suffocating peace.
Yes, he doesn’t know, but there is one detail that he almost forgot.
Toga brings out his protectiveness, fangs and talons sharp and ready to bite if provoked. Ochaco pulls at something in his chest, giving him hope that not everything is as bad as it seems.
But Shinsou did something that no one has ever done before. He made Izuku forget his hatred. Just for a little while, just enough for him to wonder if it’s really worth keeping.
Yes, he hates heroes, but Shinsou makes him wonder if he always will.
“You’ll see.” Aizawa jerks, looking up at him with a strange expression. It’s not shock, bordering on surprise, but something else thrown into the mix. He seems to think about it, but not for long, letting out an amused huff after a few seconds before turning and walking away.
Yes, Aizawa will see, and then so will everyone else. Shinsou is special, and people will notice in due time.
Hatsume keeps looking over his shoulder every chance she gets, glancing at his progress like a curious puppy but not quite invading his personal space. She’s obviously curious about his progress, of which there is little, hands slowly piecing together a model that should help him envision exactly how he wants to make this small device.
It only takes her twenty minutes to break, the project in her hands dropped onto the table with a thump before she turns to face him with both hands resting on her hips.
“Okay, what’s distracting you?” Izuku pauses, blinking at the table for a few seconds before continuing his work.
“Just thinking about an appointment I have after this class.” More like thinking about whether or not he’s going crazy. Only a crazy person does something so against his ideals for no concrete reason.
“Oh, come on! We both know it’s more than that. Just tell me, get it out of your head, you need to focus.” She’s awful pushy in a familiar way, just like that night he spilled everything to Dabi. But this time is different, or at least, he thinks it’s different.
This time it doesn’t involve dying.
“There’s not much to it. Just thinking.” Hatsume sighs a long, drawn out sigh as though his words are physically draining. Before he can even send a questioning look her way, she shifts, leaning back against the table and staring down at the floor for a solid thirty seconds while Izuku tries to figure out what’s about to happen.
“I won’t push you, but I’m here if you need to talk. Anyways!” That’s all she says on the matter, spinning around as if she didn’t just drop something completely unexpected on his head. She babbles about building models and turning them into support gear, about her current project and how it’ll be fun to work together once he’s finished.
It once again, wasn’t what he expected. That’s happened three times today, far more than usual and far more than he likes, and the day isn’t even finished yet.
He tries to focus on his work, but now he has even more things to wonder about, fingers picking at the cardboard until he’s staring at a line of puncture wounds on his tiny model. He places it to the side with an internal sigh before picking up the raw cardboard again and restarting the project, a small line of halfway finished knives sitting on the table.
Maybe he’ll finish it this time.
Shinsou is waiting for him outside the chosen gym when Izuku finally arrives, standing by the entrance awkwardly, shifting from foot to foot with nervous energy draped over every inch of his body. It’s not at all surprising, for many reasons. It’s not just a huge opportunity, but also the first time he’s meeting his favorite hero.
Or at least, Izuku’s assuming Eraserhead is his favorite hero. It was never confirmed, but there were context cues that imply at least some hero worship. So yes, completely understandable.
That doesn’t mean it’s any less agitating.
Izuku hates when others are nervous, because it always rubs off on him in the worst way. He hates being nervous, hates the way he can barely control the twitching of his wings and the tenseness of his jaw. It’s not something he wants to deal with right now, but he can’t exactly force Shinsou to calm down.
That’s not how any of this works. Of course, that means Izuku is going to have to deal with it. Just what he needed.
Shinsou notices him quickly, spinning to look his way with wide eyes and the slightest shake in his hands. Nervous, expectant, waiting for the other shoe to drop. It’s an interesting expression, one he’s seen only a handful of times. It’s also exactly what Izuku expected.
He can see the moment Shinsou registers that it’s not Eraserhead, shoulders drooping ever so slightly in either disappointment or relief. Maybe both. Either way, the nervous energy comes flooding back, feet shuffling and hands stimming as he turns back to where he was and stares at the floor.
Izuku moves to stand next to him, staring up at the sky with a carefully blank expression. It’s hard to ignore the way Shinsou twitches next to him, but he manages, making sure to relax all his extremities in an attempt to hide his own anxiety.
Shinsou doesn’t seem to notice, staring at the floor with an intense focus as he breathes in a perfectly measured pattern. It’s a good tactic, one Izuku should probably be using.
Despite the nervous tension, the silence is actually mostly peaceful, two students finding comfort in the presence of one another. It’s good, a gentle calm that lets his chest fill with a different kind of warmth. He barely knows Shinsou, and can’t really call him a friend, but this makes him wonder if that’s what they will become.
Another friend, something he never expected. One is already more than he thought would ever happen, but things seem to be changing far faster than he thought possible. So much has changed in so little time. Is this normal?
Whatever. No point in thinking about that, no reason to try and plan ahead. If it happens, it happens, and there’s no reason to try and slow down. It’s not hurting anyone, and it might help him on his attempted journey of healing.
But now’s not the time to be thinking about that. Now’s the time to be staring at Eraserhead as his teacher slowly stalks towards them, obviously attempting to test Shinsou’s situational awareness.
Of course, Shinsou has been doing this for far longer than anyone Izuku knows, quickly finding Aizawa seconds after Izuku does so himself.
For a second, the silence stays as Aizawa continues to walk towards them, no longer trying to conceal his presence. He hides it well, but Izuku can tell that he’s impressed. Good, the first test is over and Shinsou passed it with flying colors.
Now to do the same for the next thirty minutes to an hour.
Izuku said this would be a good opportunity, not that it was going to be easy. The question is, will Shinsou be able to keep up? The situation is hopeful, but there’s no guarantee, no way to know how this will end. A good opportunity? Yes. Hopefully, he doesn’t lose this and drag everything back to square one.
“Midoriya.” Aizawa nods towards him before turning to look at Shinsou with a piercing gaze. “So you’re Shinsou Hitoshi.” It’s not a question, and no one treats it as one, silence stretching through the gaps once more as Aizawa carefully studies his prospective student.
“Drop and do five pushups.” Shinsou jerks, and Izuku almost does the same, wondering why that would be the first order of events, but then he watches Shinsou do as told without question and understands. Another test, but for more than just strength.
Of course, Shinsou’s only been seriously exercising for maybe two weeks now, which means he’s relying on whatever strength he had before this all started. Aizawa’s knows that, because he knows everything Nezu’s told him and Nezu knows everything. He knows that, but he wants to know if Shinsou will try despite the fact that he will most likely fail.
Sure enough, Shinsou struggles through two and almost a half pushups before his arms give in and drop him to the floor. That’s not the end though, because they all know that the one thing Shinsou wants most is to pass this test, which means never giving up.
Which is exactly what Aizawa is wondering if he’ll do. Will he give in? Will he fail a test and act like there’s no point in trying when he’s sure he won’t succeed. It’s not enough to injure, but it’s plenty enough to act as an unspoken test.
“Stop. Stand up.” Shinsou does as told, stopping right in the middle of his fourth attempt before jumping to his feet. He hides his anxiety well, but it’s still there, showcasing that he seems absolutely sure he failed this test. That’s fine. He doesn’t need to know the results until they come out.
If only Izuku could tell him that, tell him not to worry about it because it won’t matter either way. His anxiety won’t help him, it will only make it easier to fail.
Of course, that’s not a message he can or even should send. Especially considering the fact that Izuku himself is anxious right now. That would be hypocritical, and unwanted.
“Hold your arms out.” Izuku takes a step back, watching as Shinsou moves as commanded without hesitation, just as he has every second so far. His arms are shaking ever so slightly, angry at him for pushing harder than he should, but they stay up. Barely.
“Relax.” It’s interesting to watch, the flow of commands and responses and the momentary silence in between.
“Spin around. Do ten jumping jacks. Stand on one leg. Touch your toes. Relax.” Each one seems ridiculous, but Shinsou doesn’t question it in the slightest. Honestly, Izuku’s starting to wonder if Aizawa’s just doing this to see how far Shinsou goes.
If that is the case, he must go further than Aizawa expected because after a good five minutes he seems to run out of things to command. This time, the silence stretches far too long before finally snapping like a rubber band when Aizawa turns and walks into the building without a single word.
For a second, Shinsou just stands there, probably wondering what just happened before finally realizing and rushing towards the door himself as Izuku watches him go.
He’s not allowed inside while this happens, but Shinsou must have missed that fact because he pauses to look at Izuku with confusion written over the panic. Izuku motions for him to go, watching as he hesitates before doing as told, running after Aizawa without a word.
The door closes with a click, leaving Izuku all alone, outside of a cold building, standing in the chilly air that sticks to his skin like glue. For a solid minute, he just stares at the door, jaw clenched as he tries to push down the anxiety in his stomach. It doesn’t work, meaning he almost slips up when pulling the heat closer to the surface of his skin. He can only pull up so much before the flames spill out, and he doesn’t feel like lighting on fire while standing out in the open like this.
Part of him wants to fly to the roof and wait up there, but that wouldn’t help. It would only make the air colder, and his wish for death stronger, neither of which he wants to deal with right now.
Instead, he takes a deep breath and sits down on the warm cement, letting his wings relax and trying to ignore the dirt that will undoubtedly stick to the feathers for hours. Gross, but not worth worrying about.
Before long, he has a makeshift system set up, homework spread out around him and the small cardboard knife set to the side. The hardest homework is from Monday, from his lesson with Nezu and the pile of information he’s supposed to study before next Monday arrives. It’s the first thing he works on, and the last, because the door opens not twenty minutes later.
It startles him, but he doesn’t jump, head jerking to the side until he’s looking up at Aizawa who quickly finds him and stares at his setup for a solid five seconds before speaking.
“Come in. I need you for a test.” It’s a command, not a request. Apparently they need a test dummy for this, and Izuku is right here, ripe for the picking. Whatever, it’s not a big deal.
He does as told, leaving his homework behind as he picks himself up and follows his teacher into the building. It feels larger on the inside, walls stretching out thanks to white paint and empty floors. Shinsou is standing in the center of the room, shifting from foot to foot with tension wracking his frame.
He looks more than nervous this time, like he’s doing something he really doesn’t want to do. Izuku wants to pause, to think about the situation and figure out what’s going on, but he doesn’t need to do that. He’s seconds away from being given that information without expending unnecessary energy on a hobby he barely ever uses.
Sure enough, the minute Aizawa guides him to stand right in front of Shinsou, he’s being told everything he wanted to decipher.
“I want to see Shinsou’s quirk in action. Do you consent to being a test subject?” Well, he’s definitely not beating around the bush with that phrasing.
“Yes sir.” Shinsou is looking at him with something bordering on fear, badly hidden behind a layer of nervous energy. Izuku doesn’t attempt to poke or prod, simply standing still as he waits to finally discover something he’s been curious about for quite a while.
“Good. Shinsou, continue.” Izuku relaxes, not bothering to slip into a stance because he wasn’t told to do so. It’s not hard to jump into a fight without warning, so this is fine. And, just as expected, Shinsou doesn’t lunge to attack him or do anything similar to that.
Instead, he speaks.
“Do you really think I can be a hero?” The question catches him off guard, eyes blinking a few times as he slowly realizes that it’s likely a verbal quirk. Maybe something response based? That must be it. Okay, respond.
Time to see the hidden truth.
“Yes-“
It feels like being dunked in cold water, world going fuzzy as something drags him away from the surface. The surface of what? He can’t be sure. There’s blood in the water, screaming in the background.
No, he’s not fighting it. What is it? There’s no saying, no explanation, but he knows he needs to relax. Yes, relax, let the water take him. He can still breathe, and the cold doesn’t seep into his body, flowing over him as though it’s not really touching his skin.
And then it all stops, mind snapping back into awareness without warning. Shinsou is standing there, in front of him, the fear no longer hidden as though he’s waiting for Izuku to lash out. It’s a little confusing for a second as he tries to figure out what exactly happened, but he ends up with a no answer and a desire to ask questions.
But Aizawa isn’t finished.
“Good. Midoriya, how do you feel?” Izuku turns his head, staying silent for a second as he tries to center himself a little better. He still feels the ghost of something dark hovering in the background, but it’s silent enough for him to ignore.
“Uh... fine?” And he does feel fine, despite the confusion. There’s no pain, no tension, just a layer of confusion that’s not going to go away until he gets an explanation.
“Good. Shinsou, tell him what your quirk is.” Izuku turns again, and then he waits, watching as Shinsou struggles to push past the fear. It takes a minute, a minute where Izuku tries to figure out what the quirk was on his own. It’s obviously a verbal quirk, something that makes a person lose control of their body...
But Izuku is still standing in the same spot as he started in, and his body feels normal. What could it be?
“It’s...” Oh come on, what’s with the suspense. Just tell him already! “It’s brainwashing.”
Brainwashing? That’s not very descriptive... Brainwashing usually takes time and effort. Izuku’s never heard of a quirk that brainwashes someone in one go. And again, Izuku feels exactly as he did before.
Or does he just think that because the quirk is still active in his mind?
That’s possible, but he can’t be sure without an explanation.
“What does it do?” Shinsou winces, teeth clenched like he really doesn’t want to say. It makes sense. Either way, it’s not a quirk people tend to like. Izuku knew it was likely a verbal quirk because of the scars, but whatever this is probably earned him a lot more than just a muzzle.
No wonder he’s always on guard.
“If you verbally respond to me, I take over your mind. I can tell you to do things and even make it so you won’t remember what happened.” Oh, that’s interesting.
“So... mind control.” Shinsou doesn’t speak again, still looking like he wants to be anywhere but here. He does nod though, tension making it jerky as he visibly tries his best to stay calm.
That quirk though, very interesting. Does it always work? Can people snap themselves out of it? What’s the drawback? What’s the weakness? Can he make people say things? Can he-
Okay, calm down. It’s not the time to ask questions, not right now. Instead, he should be making sure to showcase that he’s fine with quirks like that. Always has been, always will be.
He doesn’t grimace, doesn’t pull away, staying loose and calm and blank. Shinsou is staring at him, waiting for a reaction, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“Cool.” That seems to be enough, Shinsou’s eyes going wide in surprise. He doesn’t say anything else, letting the silence ring between them as Shinsou stares at him in shock.
“Okay, Shinsou, try again. Izuku, attempt to break out this time.” He glances at Aizawa and nods, staying relaxed as he waits for a question to be asked. Shinsou doesn’t speak for a second, seemingly trying to center himself before making a move. The silence doesn’t last long though, replaced by shuffling feet and eventually, a hesitant question.
“How wide are your wings?” That works.
“About six mete-“ This time, he knows what to expect, body sinking into ice cold water once more.
But something’s different this time.
The voice, the dark shadow is closer. It hovers over him, staring through him with fiery eyes and smoke slipping past its teeth. It doesn’t reach out, just watches, making it hard to remember why he’s here.
But he does remember, jerking forwards until he’s touching the surface of the water.
That’s as far as he gets.
Something keeps him from going further, pulling him down as his lungs scream for air. He stays there, wondering why he can’t push past that last stretch, wondering what’s pulling him down and why he can’t feel it.
He doesn’t have time to find an answer.
This time, snapping back to reality makes his head ring. The memories stay, which means Shinsou didn’t tell him to forget them. Or it means the quirk is effecting him differently, but there’s no reason to expect that. No, he’s just dealing with the aftereffects.
It’s fine.
“Good. Relax.” Izuku looks up, watching as Shinsou takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. The tension seems to fall from his shoulders, thick and heavy, leaving him looking thoroughly relieved.
“That’s all I need. We’ll send you your results in one week.” Izuku blinks, turning to watch Aizawa jolt something down in a notebook without a hint of emotion that would tell them how Shinsou did. There’s nothing, and it makes Izuku want to shake answers out of his teacher.
Instead, he stays relatively calm and follows Aizawa out of the building with Shinsou close behind. The door shuts with a click, leaving them standing in open air, feathers ruffling in the wind. It’s still far too chilly for Izuku, and he takes a second to pull up some warmth for what feels like the hundredth time this day alone.
“Are you two good? Do you know how to get to the entrance?” Izuku pauses, but the question wasn’t really aimed towards him. Aizawa knows he’s had plenty of time to memorize the campus. But Shinsou doesn’t have access those maps. No, that question wasn’t aimed towards him.
Instead of responding, he moves to the side and starts packing up his school. The notebooks fit nicely into his old backpack until he has all his homework resting against his back. Shinsou is staring at him, which is when he finally notices that Aizawa is gone, slipped away while he was focused on something else.
Shinsou is standing there, looking like he really wants to ask a question but isn’t sure if he’s allowed to do that. Izuku stands up, brushing some dirt off the tips of his wings before turning to face Shinsou with a relaxed stance.
It takes a minute, but the tension slowly lessens until Shinsou’s finally able to speak.
“My, quirk... You’re okay that I used it on you?” Izuku pauses, thinking about his answer. It’s obvious that he isn’t just asking about that. No, he’s asking if Izuku is okay with the quirk as a whole, asking if it creeped him out or makes him angry. It’s kind of depressing, knowing Shinsou expected him to go straight to hatred.
But there’s no point in being careful, because he doesn’t have to be. The answer is obvious. At least, to him.
“Yes. It’s a cool quirk. Good for heroics.” Shinsou’s head jerks up from where it was facing the ground, eyes wide with surprise. There’s more silence for a second, as the sun slowly disappears behind the clouds. It’s probably going to rain soon...
“You’re... you’re really okay with it. Good for heroics?” The surprise stays plastered on his face, borderline shock no matter where he looks.
“Yes. You can easily deescalate situations. Perfect for hostage situations or rescue operations. Very good for heroics.” He leaves it at that, watching as Shinsou continues to stare at him with those wide eyes. The silence lasts for at least a full minute, broken when Shinsou blinks and shuffles his feet.
“Uhm... thank you.” Izuku blinks, but Shinsou is already moving, walking away with an impressive speed. He’s not sure if he should say goodbye or something, so he stays silent, watching him leave.
Beneath the warmth under his skin, below the indifference that seems to stick to his bones, under it all, anger sits. It wants to bubble up, wants to find those who hurt Izuku’s friend and kill them. He’s wanted to kill many people, but he has yet to do so, yet to go that far.
He still wants to, though.
Green eyes look up, staring at the dark clouds stretching out over the sky. They float there, casting shadows on the surface of this planet. Yes, it’s going to rain.
The water doesn’t fall right away, leaving him dry as he walks to gym seven. It doesn’t beat on the roof as he spars and coaches and spars again. It doesn’t drip on his skin as he walks Ochaco to the train station.
It waits until he steps out from under the overhang, a few droplets falling on his shirt. The cold seeps past the fire in his veins, making him shiver as he steps back under the overhang. He stays there for a minute, watching as the rain slowly builds until it’s pouring on the cement ground.
He ends up waiting for Aunty to come pick him up, but those small raindrops was all it took for his defenses to fall.
Whoever hurts his friends should be careful, because if he isn’t allowed to kill them, then he’ll need to handle things a different way.
And that’s something that should scare them, no matter who they are.