Chapter Text
You wake up the next morning with a headache. The dreams that accompanied you last night were not… pleasant to say the least.
But like most students who are a part of sport-based school activities, you have early Saturday practice. You leave your dorm even earlier than usual, almost as if you were itching to leave the confines of your comfortable, sleeping room. You can’t be any less nervous to see Ushijima tonight so, at least, you can take your mind off of it by practicing for a few hours today before you dive straight into the trenches.
*****
Conditioning and endurance - what you spend every Saturday morning doing. An hour on cardio - a 5k paired with sprints - and an hour spent in the weights room with the rest of your club. Then a team half-hour cooldown and you're finally free for the rest of your day to prance off and do whatever Shiratorizawa students do on the weekends.
The first hour goes smoothly - hard of course, and brutally lung-opening but smooth nonetheless. It’s warmer in the mornings now but you're just grateful that it’s not properly hot yet, those mid-summer workouts are where you're really fighting for your life.
You change clothes in between sessions, discarding your sweaty, tight running fit to something that will better suit your movements in the weights room. After polite chatter with some other girls in your team and a desperate few mouthfuls of water you leave the changing room to follow your coach for the breakdown of what you’ll be working on today.
It's a pretty standard circuit, one you’ve done plenty of times and so you start to space out, yearning for that delicious breakfast bar that you demolished pre-practice.
Heavy doors slam at the far end of the room, diverting your attention to a herd of concerningly tall teenage boys. Teenage boys you recognise, in white shirts and purple shorts.
Oh.
You feel your heart rate quicken behind your ribs.
Suddenly your vision is constricted to focus only on the sight of Ushijima at the front of the group. Tall, broad and so annoyingly, effortlessly handsome. Especially with the flush of a morning workout dusted over his face. You find yourself wondering what they were doing, maybe if you stayed out around the track a little longer, you might've caught sight of them. Of him. Ushijima, muscles tight and dripping with sweat as he-
Holy shit.
I need to chill out.
You swallow, blinking extra hard a few times to steady yourself. You receive a look from one of your teammates but brush him off, maybe you were staring a little too hard
“Mr Washijo,” Your coach clasps his hands together, smiling politely. “I thought I booked the weights room for the next hour or so? For the Judo team?”
The older, shorter man who seems to always look unfathomably grumpy dismisses him with a wave of his hand. “Yes, yes, some idiot messed with the spreadsheet and now that leaves us double-booked. My boys still need to train.”
“Ah, I see.” Your teacher runs a hand over his close-cropped hair. “Well we might as well just make it work then, since everyone's here already.” His eyes crease as he smiles, sun-worn.
Coach Washijo makes a low noise of agreement in his throat and then turns to his boys to start instructing them, your coach does the same to you.
With Ushijima here, you're going to be distracted for your whole workout.
How great.
After being split into groups and desperately trying to avert your attention away from a certain member of the boys volleyball club, you end up placed by the squat rack right opposite a row of benchpresses. You’ll be squatting with a lower weight than usual, focusing on explosiveness, as per instruction by your coach.
“Yoo-hoo.” Satori waves enthusiastically at you, struggling to load a thick plate onto a bar just a few steps in front of you.
You wince, noting that because he’s waving at you - he’s handling the plate with one hand. God forbid he drops it on his toes.
Be careful, please…
“Hey.” You say with a smile, quietly observing the amount of weight he’s loading onto the bar.
There's no way he can bench all of that.
You ignore the curious glances from your groupmates between you and Satori as you tuck yourself under the bar and steady your form. You tense up when you see Ushijima beelining his way over to the red head in a calm stride.
Oh. Right. You swallow. Of course that was for him.
Ushijima notices you staring, turns, nods your way and speaks a deep,
“Goodmorning Y/n.”
That no doubt everyone in the room heard.
“Morning.” You squeak back, grimacing and avoiding his eyes and not even sure if he heard you reply. You lift your bar off the rack, taking a quiet yet deep breath to steady yourself as the girl beside you reminds you that you have ten reps to get through.
You don’t know if it's the workout making your heart beat so heavily or if it’s the boy in front of you.
Focus.
The first four reps are fine, though you can definitely feel the weight take its toll all the way up your legs at the end of each rep. It only gets worse from there as your coach approaches and reminds you to look straight forward. Y’know - in order to have the correct form.
You swear your legs wobble.
From your position, you get a very invasive view of Ushijima lying down on the bench press. His legs parted, he scoots down enough to be comfortable and finds the placement for his hands on the bar above him. The boy - too buff for his own good - immediately starts pumping the reps out, bar pressing against his broadened chest that stretches out his flimsy t-shirt only to be sent back up in the air again with controlled, military precision.
It’s easy to forget about your own workout while watching him and you find yourself lingering in the lower squat position too long, too many times.
When he gets to his last few reps you genuinely have to close your eyes and picture peaceful mountains and shimmering lakes to get your mind off of the groans and grunts he makes.
Calm down, calm down, calm down, calm do-
“Y/n?, that was eleven.” Your spotter - a younger girl on the judo team - lingers at your shoulder, gazing down at you with a puzzled look.
“Oh,” You smile meekly. “Sorry, lost count.” You swallow, eyes darting back to Ushijima once more before you move back to place the bar down and dip back up from under it.
“It’s okay.” She smiles back but you don’t miss the way her eyes follow yours for that one moment. “Will you count mine for me?”
You wipe your hands on your shorts, mind still elsewhere. “Uhh…yeah, yeah, sure.” You clear your throat nervously and then apologize for being distracted.
She replaces the weight on the bar with something a little lighter.
Miko, the girl under the bar right now, is a quiet-ish yet sweet second-year with cute, jaw-length hair that you’ve grown to like. As a first year in the Judo club, she was always stammering and playing with her fingers anxiously, avoiding anyone senior to her, you’ve always assumed it was because she was scared but now, now, she’s much more confident and open with her peers. It’s been nice seeing her progress both mentally and physically.
“Seven…” Her legs shake marginally and so you move behind her to spot properly just in case she can’t take the weight . “Niccee, c’mon, get this one up nice and quick. Good, good, only two left.”
You allow yourself a singular glance up to where Ushijima was laying just before. He’s spotting Ohira now, only that his gaze isn’t on him, it’s on you.
You immediately lock your eyes back onto Miko’s back, a faint blush creeping up your neck.
His staring problem is not good for my heart.
After a plethora of exercises done and machines used, the fatigue starts to creep in like a damp cloud. But your coach - amazing as he usually is - decided that you’d finish off with deadlifts, of all things. And then abs, probably.
After setting yourself up with the correct equipment, you start your exercise. It's hard, it really is. And it takes everything in you to not succumb to the fatigue and let it affect your form.
Distracted, you don’t notice Ushijima watching you like a hawk a few paces away. You don’t notice when he begins to walk up to you, either. Only when he speaks.
“You should bring your legs closer to the bar.” His oak-like voice is soft yet firm, he could tell you to do anything at this moment and you’d trust him one-hundred percent. You can’t quite put your finger on why, though - it’s just the type of presence he has. He’s…stable.
A salty bead of sweat drips down your face and you really, really wish you could wipe it away because Ushijima’s watching you and he can see how you're struggling and how much you're sweating and how bad you’ve let your form falter.
You move closer to the bar so your shins are so flush to it you're afraid you might hit your knees on the way up. “Like this?” Your breathing is laboured, a little louder. You breathe through your nose.
“Yes,” His voice is quiet, just for you. “Like that.”
You complete the movement again, feeling the hot strain in your hamstrings and your back. The weight is a little louder when it hits the floor this time.
Ushijima’s hand ghosts over your back, not quite touching, but still, there.
“Keep your posture straight.” You're not sure when he did, but you just know that he’s gotten very, very close.
You breathe in hungrily. Was the room always this hot? Or maybe it’s because you’ve been working out but it feels as though the gym is an oven, radiating its heat onto you and trying to cook you all the way through.
“Good,” Greeny-brown hair falls over his forehead. He smells musky. But good. “One more.”
Ushijima’s praise makes you blush.
When you finish you peel your hands slowly off of the bar, noticing the indentations in your palms as you stare off into the far wall, embarrassed.
Ushijima stays in his place, unmoving. There's a newfound awkward air between you two, it feels like you’ve just finished doing something…naughty. Yet you haven’t even touched.
The ace breaks the silence. “Those were good reps.” A simple sentence, his eyes burn into the side of your face, he wants to say more. He doesn’t.
You swallow, put your hands on your hips and let yourself turn towards him. “Thanks...” You're still breathing heavily. “And uh- thanks for the help. Like with the-,” You gesture to the loaded bar on the floor. “-Yeah.” Scratching the top of your head, you notice Miko and another girl standing together, watching with questions clouded in their eyes. Satori was watching too, and now he’s attempting to hide behind a very skinny pole.
A bead of hot sweat drips down your spine. The sensation makes you shiver.
“Yes. Anytime.”
You walk away first after realizing that Ushijima wasn’t going to., pulling at the collar of your shirt.
Why the hell did that feel so…tense?
*****
“‘Sup.” Sakou greets you oh-so-enthusiastically back at your dorm. It’s stuffy. She hasn’t opened any of the windows.
“Hey.” You breathe calmly, clicking the door shut softly behind you, still half-dazed after what happened with Ushijima.
You try to convince yourself that it wasn’t anything weird - Because it wasn’t - so why are you feeling so out of it?
“How was practice?” She clips an accessory in her hair, maybe getting ready to go somewhere.
“Uh…yeah, yeah, it was good.” You hope you sound convincing. But then again, it was good, so what do you even mean by that? “Hard, but good.” You place your empty drink bottle on your desk and then pull out your laundry basket from under your bunk, unzipping your bag and throwing your dirty gear in.
She sniffs, walking across the room to hunt for a pair of socks. “You smell.”
“Oh - well, I was just about to go shower actually…” You blink a few times, spacing out.
Sakou sniffs the air again, after resurfacing from her drawer with a pair of My Little Pony pink socks with a glittered toe section. “You smell… like a man.”
“Sorry?”
“You smell like a dude, like cologne and sweat.”
“Oh,” You lift a pinch of your shirt to sniff it.
Do I?
“It was probably just from the other guys… we’re a mixed-gender club so…” You don’t really want to tell her what happened between you and Ushijima this morning. It feels too…intimate.
Wait no - what actually happened? That was a normal thing. Right? He just helped me with my form and…stuff.
So why did it feel so personal? So private?
“Righttt,” She smiles, a sliver of pearly teeth showing. Sakou pulls on her shoes. “Well I’m gonna pop to the shops for a few things so don’t forget your keys when you go shower.”
“Okay. I won’t.”
She has a hand on the door handle when she turns around to look at you. You, still standing in the middle of your dorm room, staring at the floor, now holding a towel.
Her eyebrows are pinched together in concern. “Are you okay? Did something happen? ‘Cause you look really pale.”
“I’m fine.” You answer her quickly, maybe a little too quickly because she raises a brow instantly at your reaction.
“You sure?”
“Yeah.” She doesn't look very reassured. “I am. I’m good. I probably just need to eat or something.”
She hums, slings her handbag over her shoulder. “I’ll grab something from the convenience store for you.”
“Thanks.”
*****
You spend too long in the shower. Run it too hot. You think of the heat of Ushijima’s hand ghosting over your spine.
You like him, yes. You're completely aware of that. He makes you feel things, that’s what happens when you have a crush.
But this feels…different. Intense. Too intense for your liking. You're not in control with this, you're simply being pulled by the current.
And it’s terrifying.
You think of the way he talked to you in the gym, low enough so you were the only one that heard.
You wipe your nose. Squeeze the water out of your hair. The side of your ankle bleeds from where you cut it shaving.
The blood swirls.
*****
Today, aside from Satori’s birthday celebration, you have no other commitments. Semi already took those silly shirts off you yesterday evening so it’s not like you have to deliver those. And you finished most of your homework in a free period on Friday so you don’t have to worry about that either.
You feel really stuck after what happened at the gym this morning and now you don’t feel like doing anything. You don’t feel like scrolling on your phone, or reading, or watching something, or going for a walk, or doing your laundry. You're kind of just…existing.
You need a distraction.
Luckily, you happen to know a guy that you fully believe is the definition of ‘distraction’ itself.
Skibidi sigma alpha wolf Satori
< Hey
< Wyd rn?
It takes seven and a half minutes for a reply to pop up on your screen.
Skibidi sigma alpha wolf Satori
> what the actual BOMBOCLATT 💔💔
< ?
> I was feeding this cute littlle ducks
bread and a FREAKING FREAKING
HORRIBLE MEAN STUPID IDIOT TEACHER
> told me I couldn’t
> And started chasing mee (👁ˋ _ ˊ 👁)
> he was slow asf tho 😛😛
< Omg what 😭😭
< Why is your life so entertaining
> i just atttract chaos
< Clearly.
< Wanna hang out for a bit? I’m
rlly bored
> wanna hera my acapella? i
thingk i can be a singer
> ▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။||||။၊|• 0:10
< No
< Oh god please no
< You will be homeless
< Is that a duck in the back?
> yeapp
“-And that got me thinking, maybe I can invent my own spray on shoes too. So I found the can of spray-on cheese wedged between my bed and the wall and-”
“- Why do you have a hidden spray-on cheese stash?”
“Well why don’t you? - acting like I’m the weird one -,” he throws his hands up dramatically in disbelief. “- Anyway so I got the cheese and a bowl and some glue and - I think it was dried plaster? - put it in a bowl…”
You listen to Satori ramble on about his spray on (cheese) shoes that (spoiler alert) didn’t work, for a solid twenty minutes or so. He’s someone that you can count on to make you laugh, or cry out of disbelief, or scream out of frustration, but anyway, in the end, he’s someone you can count on.
Later on it switched to you rambling. Which was dangerous, especially considering how you’ve been feeling lately and all that has been going on.
You don’t want Satori knowing that you have a crush on Ushijima - although you think he’s already noticed that something has to be going on - just because they're such close friends and the thought makes you feel uncomfy. However, you don’t mind discussing things related to it, tip-toeing around the absolute atomic bomb that is your feelings for him.
“-But yeah, I’ve never seen her before but she came up and talked to me casually like we’re classmates or something, kept asking me if I was dating him and wouldn't believe me when I said I wasn’t.” You kick a stone off the path. “Anyone come to mind? She had mousey brown-ish hair that was really curly, like seriously curly - I’m not sure if she was even Japanese either, she had an accent that I feel like I’ve heard before but I just couldn’t figure it out.”
“Hmm,” Satori stops walking - abrupt, as usual - and strokes his chin theatrically. “I will investigate, only for you though, madam.” He tips his invisible hat at you politely.
“Why thank you,” You play along, a wide smile cracking open your face. “Such a gentlemanly man you are.”
He giggles like a little girl.
You walk a couple more metres and then he yells loud enough to make you finch. You turn to look at him in surprise. He looks almost as though he’s vibrating with the words he’s holding in.
“Yeah..?”
“That girl!” He points to your face. “The uh- one with the accent. I think I might know who you're talking about.”
“Actually?” You ask, eager to hear him elaborate.
“Yeah.” He grins, dimples caving into his face in a cat-like way.
You raise your eyebrows. “So - who is she?”
“Kaori…something. Everyone just calls her by her first name - anyway, she’s mixed - I think - and she runs this ‘newsletter’ thing online but it’s really just hot gossip about things and people at school.”
You gasp. “Wait - actually?!?”
“Yeapp, it’s this whole blog thing that you can subscribe to.”
You nod along as Satori pulls out his phone to show you, drinking in the little information he knows about her.
So she runs some kind of gossip forum huh…interesting.
The realization hits you like a truck - well, not that heavily. More like one of those golf-cart thingies.
“Wait,” You suddenly feel very offended. “Was she talking to me the other day because she was going to put something on her blog thing about me and Ushijima?”
The boy in front of you makes a wary ‘oooo’ sound.
“Well yeah…that must be why.” He tuts. “Sneaky sausage.”
It’s a very childish thing to do but you feel like stomping your foot. It feels almost insulting, to know that your business could be aired out just like that, with a snap of someone's fingers. With a click of her keyboard. And Ushijima is quite a… important, or known figure at school, you’ve already had problems with that Ayumi girl, you're not looking for any more.
Especially when it is a known fact that you are not dating him.
Even if you’d like to be.
“Theres nothing on here about you and him though.” Satori points at his phone factually, and you crane your neck to look at his screen.
The blog is quite pretty, you’ll give her that. It’s all pink and bedazzled with animal print backgrounds and sections and labels for different things.
Hm. Very organized.
Satori clicks one of the links on the top banner. “There’s this weekly bulletin board that she posts things to every Wednesday and Sunday,” He scrolls down. “It’s all the newest gossip and rumors for that week.”
“Huh. You seem quite familiar with this blog.” You say slowly, narrowing your eyes at the frigid boy squatting below you.
He chuckles nervously, “Oh really? Well, perhaps… I do read it sometimes.”
“Sometimes? That little button says you’ve subscribed.”
He immediately shoves his phone into his back pocket.
“Pshht, what? No way. Why are you making things up? That’s really weird of you, Y/n.” He peeks at you from the corner of his eye. “Not cool man.”
“Are you trying to gaslight me?” You snort. “Whatever,” To be honest you’re pretty interested in it too. Chances are you’ll be searching it up and binging through it once you're back at your dorm. “It’s kind of like that American show - what was it called - oh yeah, Gossip Girl.”
“Dunno what that is.”
“Wel it’s not anime, cooking or volleyball related so…”
A bench seems to materialize next to you and Satori immediately sits himself down on it, crosses his legs and straightens his posture.
He sits there like a little obedient victorian child. Just slightly lankier.
“I’m all ears.”
“...”
“And legs. And arms.”
*****
Getting reading for events together in a shared dorm with music playing from a half-dead speaker and clothes strewn everywhere is something that you believe is the epitome of girlhood.
Satori’s birthday celebration isn’t this huge, fancy event or anything, it’s just some friends getting together, hanging out, and most likely watching some stupid shit on tv. But still, it’s exciting all the same.
You and Sakou are both wearing comfy outfits that look nice.
Sakou’s doing her usual makeup look in the mirror that she’d leaned against your bed and you're sitting at your desk doing your hair.
Your roommate rambles excessively into the mirror. “Gotta make a move tonight Y/n…gotta do something to bag your man.”
You roll your eyes. “I’ll talk to him. Normally. Like a normal friend would.”
“You think of him just as a ‘normal’ friend?”
You contemplate throwing one of your tools at her. “You know what I think of him, Sakou.”
She giggles cheekily.
“I do.”
Over lunch you explained what happened the other day with that girl Kaori in the stairway since you didn’t get the chance to before, along with what you heard about her and her blog from Satori earlier.
You both stalked her blog and a month's worth of backed up gossip and articles that she has written and needless to say, you both subscribed instantly, despite knowing that either one of you could end up as the next new hot topic discussed on there.
*****
Ohira’s dorm room is different compared to the few others that you’ve been in.
His room is bigger, with two separate single beds pushed into the corners instead of the more familiar bunk beds that you assumed everybody had. There’s a flatscreen TV pressed up against one wall too, mirroring the small, worn-in couch opposite it. The TV buzzes with a long forgotten volleyball match playing in the background. Plain environment - yet cozy.
“So on three - Reon will open the door, then we’ll wait for them to walk in and throw all the stuff.” Semi shakes an aerosol can of silly string in one hand, clinking it back and forth.
You can’t see very well in the dark but you think you might’ve just seen the slightest smirk on his face. Maybe this is almost like payback for him, for all the shenanigans Satori has forced him through.
Ohira stands at the door, waiting, listening for the rap of either Satori’s or Ushiijima’s fist. He shifts on his feet.
“Maybe we should turn the lights on first?” He says, concerned. “I don’t want either of them to trip and hurt themselves.”
“They’ll be fine, Wakatoshi’s pretty damn sturdy, it would take a lot for him to actually take a fall.” Yamagata’s voice.
Your eyebrows draw together and you turn behind you to try and take a look at Yamagata. “And Satori…?”
“Meh.”
Sakou, who’s stationed herself beside you, snorts.
“I don’t want to ruin any of Ushijima-san’s clothes…” Goshiki whines from somewhere further down the cramped circle, too polite to his precious upperclassman, Ushijima, for his own good.
“Don’t spray ‘em then.” Kawaninchi whistles.
Goshiki immediately gets offended. “I wasn’t going to anyway!” He barks. “I’ll just spray Tendou, he’ll probably find it funny anyway.”
Ohira shushes the group. “I hear footsteps.” He whispers, although his voice is so deep it seems to vibrate through the room.
You twirl your finger around the string of two party poppers, ready to to launch little pieces of confetti and streamers into the air.
You hear fingernails being tapped on the door.
That’d be Satori.
Ohira clicks the door handle down, pulling the door open.
Light from the hallway spills into the room, along with two, freakishly-tall figures.
And right on time, with a group shout of ‘Happy Birthday!’ loud enough to damage your eardrums, everyone pops or throws or fizzes something into the air, turning the room into a mess of colourful paper and glitter.
Satori yelps and acts as though the streamers are attacking him, swiping at the copious amounts of sticky string that comes flying his way. He flails around noisily, cursing at the pieces that get stuck to his body
Ushijima - well, he’s Ushijima. It’s almost as if Satori was accompanied by a weirdly buff stone statue. He stands there. You’re unsure if this surprised him at all.
“That surprised me.” He says in an expressionless voice.
Oh. Well,
You smile so hard your cheeks ache.
The lights flicker on.
The two boys are a complete mess.
Satori has the biggest fucking grin that you’ve ever seen on his face.
Ushijima pulls a streamer off of his head.
“Awhh you guys!” Satori bundles both his hands up by his cheek and lifts up one of his legs in a cutesy girl pose. “You did this all for me?” He smiles brightly, then immediately bolts to jump-hug the nearest person. (Which is Semi.)
They both topple over.
The hug that you receive is grateful and warm. And just a little too tight.
You tap the birthday boy on the shoulder. “Can’t… brea-the.” You wheeze.
“Oops, sorry.” He lets go with a smile, limbs untangling from around your neck, the embodiment of happiness himself. “So I heard from Semi we were gonna watch some movies?” There’s a twinkle in his eye that you're afraid of.
*****
After an exciting twenty-or-so minutes of gift giving - which included the alpha wolf shirts that everyone is now wearing because Satori insisted they had too, y’know, with this being his birthday celebration and all - everyone finally settled down and draped themselves across either Ohira’s bed, the floor, or the small blue couch tucked at the foot of it.
You chose to sit on the couch - it seemed like the best choice considering the floors made out of hardwood and you don’t consider yourself close enough with Ohira to sit on his bed comfortably.
If only you had known then, that this option would be far, far more uncomfortable.
You sat on the edge of the couch to ensure the chances of Ushijima sitting next to you were lower than if you were to sit in the middle. Yeah, sitting next to Ushijima would give you a great chance to maybe talk to him and quite frankly excited you, but you didn’t want to spend the entirety of the shitty horror movie that Satori picked out sweating and too nervous to even look to your right or move at all.
Today, the gods are not on your side. Or maybe they are? Ushijima now sits beside you on the couch. His weight dips the worn-in frame ever so slightly and so you have to keep all of your muscles tense in order not to slide down onto him. Heat radiates off the boy in the same way that a blanket might after coming straight out of the dryer.
You glance at the mere inch between your knees, careful to not make your unease noticeable to everyone else.
Don’t move, don’t move, don’t move.
Ushijima nudges his legs apart ever-so slightly just to get himself comfortable and the sides of your knees brush, sending an electric-like spark through the centre of your chest. It takes everything in you to focus and keep your face straight.
He doesn’t pull away. Nor do you.
The air between you feels heavy and thick. Hot. Electric. You swallow as the opening sequence of the movie starts to roll, pretending not to notice Ushijima glancing at you through your peripheral vision. If he won’t move, neither will you. It’s a game of chicken that you're inflicting on yourself that you pretend he’s in on.
Satori crosses the room in three quick strides and flicks the lights off, claiming that it’ll ‘enhance the experience’ of the horror moving your watching. Sakou shifts at your feet next to Goshiki as Ohria re-enters the room quietly, passing Semi - who’s on the edge of the bed - and Yamagata - who’s sat on the floor by the other side of the couch- two big bowls of salty popcorn to share around. (Ushijima’s clay-like protein bars were rejected by most)
You’ve decided that you're going to try and talk to Ushijima after the movie, since obviously, you can’t talk to him during it. Maybe you’ll attempt to strike up a conversation while you're playing card games, when everyone's in their own little bubbles and engrossed in their own chatter about the games. That’ll be a good opportunity plus it’ll probably get Sakou off of your back.
Speak of the devil - Ushijima says something beside you that you don’t quite hear. Was it directed at you?
“Sorry?” You whisper, squinting in the dark.
“Popcorn?” He asks, voice rumbling. He moves the bowl to hover over your lap so you can see it better.
“Oh yeah, thanks.” Sakou pinches your leg. The popcorn rustles underneath your touch.
The movie starts off slow, which doesn’t help you much, your mind keeps on wandering and fixating on Ushijima, specifically the few times you’ve touched and how your knees are still touching now.
He’s so…stoic all the time. Well- aside from that day where he glowed crimson just from our hands touching. But we’re touching now and he seems fine? Could that day just have been a coincidence?
You fiddle with your hands over your lap, scratching over your nails.
No, there's definitely something going on. I’ve just got to get a grip and stop overthinking things.
A shadow passes by the man on screen. You feel Goshiki flinch. Your eyes widen. Maybe this is a better movie than you thought it would be. Scary, but better.
After a few more minutes into the movie you start to get really jumpy. You didn’t think a movie could affect you this much but holy shit, it's really freaking you out. It’s that kind of slow-build horror that makes you not want to look away while simultaneously making you want to switch it right off and turn on cartoons.
The hairs stand up on your arms.
The next jump scare makes you spring up in your seat along with the better half of everyone else in the room. The sudden movement made you fall even closer to Ushijima and now you're pressed firmly to his side, thigh and arm plush.
“Sorry.” You mumble, embarrassed. Shifting back to the small amount of free space that you had. Luckily it's so dark, no one could see the flecks of red dotted across your face.
Were you blushing out of embarrassment or…excitement?
You quickly brush the thought away.
Ushijima places his fists on his knees, posture scarily perfect. “It's okay. I don’t mind.”
You wince through your teeth.
Ohmygod.
He said he doesn’t mind!?
Your mind races. He could just be being polite, right? Or maybe, he’s irrevocably, insatiably, in love with you and he wants you to be pressed up against him.
The little devil on your shoulder rubs its hands together mischievously.
After another forty minutes or so and the movie gets even more horrifying, you find yourself closing your eyes or flinching more often than not. When the movie ends - with surprise, surprise everyone dying horrifically - Semi is the first person to jump up and switch back on the lights.
You all let out a collective sigh of relief.
Aside from Satori, of course. And Ushijima. And Shirabu.
“The lawnmower scene, oh my god!” You laugh, shocked, while stretching out your legs.
“I know right?” Sakou unfolds her limbs from the floor, dusting off her pants. “Scared the shit out of me.”
Semi shivers, shaking his head back and forth. “So bad.” He looks traumatised.
But not as traumatised as Goshiki, who’s still sitting on the floor, rocking himself back and forth softly. Face as white as a sheet.
“Whoa man!” Satori snickers. “Looking like death warmed up!”
“Like death warmed up…?” You tilt your head in question.
He shrugs. “Think I read it somewhere.”
Goshiki finally regains his composure and stands up, you don’t miss the shake of his arms. “That wasn’t even that scary.” He clears his throat, trying to act tough. Probably trying to act like Ushijima who seemed, for the most part, unfazed by the movie.
Or that's what everyone else must’ve thought. You won’t tell them that you felt him flinch beside you twice, nor how you heard the sharp intake of breath that crept into his lungs while you were pressed closely. Or the way his thigh rubbed against yours and you imagined his fingertips grazing over them instead-
You sniffle.
Yeah. They don’t need to know any of that.
Semi waves Ohira over to him, talking in hushed tones before Ohira gathers the attention of the group. He looks to Satori who’s busy poking and teasing Goshiki by the couch. It must happen often, the way no-one seems fazed.
“Do you want to do cake now or should we do something else?”
This immediately gets Satori’s attention. He makes quick work of forgetting his torment of Goshiki, whips his head around at lightning speed and shouts a curt, “Cake?!”
“Cake.” Ohira repeats, smiling softly. “You like chocolate, right?”
“Hell to-the-fucking-yeah I like chocolate.” He blinks around at his friends in the room, taking his time tracing his eyes over everyone. And now this time, a little softer, he says, “You guys got me cake?”
Ushijima is the one to answer this time. “Yes. From that bakery you like.”
Satori’s quiet for once. He looks utterly astonished.
“Thank you guys…thats really nice.”
*****
Satori’s birthday song was sung with much enthusiasm, to which he seemed to very much enjoy. Satori’s told you a bit about his primary and middle school days before where he briefly mentioned that kids weren't so nice to him. You managed to wrangle out some truth where he told you that kids would make fun of him for his ‘creepy’ looks and personality, often ostracizing him and leaving him out of things. Maybe that’s why Satori’s has such a heartfelt reaction to this little birthday celebration. The thought makes you sad, that he was so used to being forgotten and alienated, left on the sidelines.
Lucky for him, there’s many students that some might consider a little odd at Shiratorizawa Academy. You included. And dare you say Ushijima?
So he fits right in.
As the birthday boy, Satori rightfully gets offered the first piece of the two-layer premium ganache chocolate cake from his favourite bakery. He insists that everyone else should get a piece before him but Ohira shushes him, pats him on the shoulder once like a content dad and forcefully hands him the cake while telling him to sit down and eat.
You watch from the couch as Satori skips across the room with an infectious cheery smile.
He’s got such a big personality.
Ushijima approaches you with calculated steps, a slice of cake sitting on a paper towel in each hand. He’s wearing one of the shirts that you and Semi searched the internet for. His one says ‘The one and only alpha’ with an image of a humanized wolf howling at the moon and ripping his shirt off. You find yourself thinking how the shirt is kind of accurate until the thought of how fucking cringe that is re-circuts your brain.
You think that Ushijima seems a little too proud of his shirt. Most of the boys have changed theirs.
“Y/n,” he says your name with such softness, caressing each syllable as though he’s taken his time to learn the curves and dips of them. “Would you like some cake?”
It’s still nerve-racking, the utter size of him. Not only is he tall, but he’s built as hell too. A total unit.
Seriously, this guy really won the genetic lottery. Face is insane too.
“Yeah - thanks.” You take the generous slice of cake from him. Your mouth waters. You’ve definitely got to find out exactly where this bakery is. “Looks really good.” You smile up at him, ready to eat not just the cake if need be.
He nods. “It is.”
You expect him to move.
He doesn’t.
You’d rather not have him watch you eat this so closely.
When Ushijima is around, you can barely stop yourself from smiling. It’s no different now.
“You okay?” You ask, wanting to understand why he hasn’t moved.
The little devil on your shoulder giggles again.
“Yes, I’m fine.”
“...Okay.” You really want to eat this cake.
A thought wriggles its way into your brain.
“Oh,” Ushijima watches as your lips move softly around the word. You shift, patting the couch cushion next to you. “Do you want to sit?” Talking to him now, you don’t feel as nervous as you did earlier. Sakou gives you a cheeky thumbs-up from where she’s sitting with Satori - the floor-. You pretend not to see.
Ushijima’s chest expands with the rise and fall of his lungs.
“...Yeah. Thank you.” The couch creaks as he sits.
Still painfully aware of Ushijima’s eyes on you, you decide, ‘fuck it’ and take a happy bite of the cake wrapped carefully in a white paper towel.
The cake is so, soooo bloody good. It’s rich and moist, with a deep chocolate flavour that's not too overly sweet. You find yourself thinking that you want this exact cake for your birthday.
You take another bite, savouring the taste.
Ushijima takes a bite of his too, you watch his jaw work.
Hm.
“Thanks for helping me out at the gym. Y’know - this morning.” You can’t help but remember the tension between you two then, the tension that still exists now.
“Not a problem…” You watch his eyes crinkle, focusing on one part of your face. You blink - and then all of the sudden he’s a smidge closer than he was just a moment ago.
You draw back a little instinctively.
“Ushijima?”
He leans in closer.
Wait - he’s not going to do ‘that’. Is he!?
“Uhh…”
His hand reaches out towards your face and he swipes his thumb over the bare bit of flesh between your lips and your cheek. Ushijima licks ganache off of his thumb, tongue sliding over the rough skin there.
“Sorry. You had icing on your face.”
Holyshitholyshitholyshit
You could swear his ears are tinted red.
Your entire face probably is too.
“Right…” The word is hushed, only for him.
Yeah, only for him. You really hope no one else noticed what just happened.
A moment of severely awkward silence follows - aside from the background chatter of everyone else.
Your eyes meet.
You look away, too shy to hold his gaze fully, then clear your throat.
Ushijima only leans back then, a little surprised at himself.
Your voice is strained, a little high-pitched. “Have any games coming up?” You need to change the subject now and volleyball is always a safe subject to fall back on, even if your knowledge on it is only slowly growing.
You're using it to try and ignore whatever the hell just happened.
It’s something you’ll deal with when you're back at your dorm, tossing and turning in your bunk.
“Our next game will be at the interhigh preliminaries next month.”
“Oh, I think Semi’s mentioned that before.”
“Most likely.”
“Mmn.”
You take another bite of your cake, looking for a chance to get away. Your brain hasn’t entirely caught up with your body yet.
You glance at Ushijima who’s weirdly fixated on his own hands. “Want to play a game?”
“A game?”
You stand up from the couch. “Yeah…uh- Sakou said she brought some card games for all of us to play.”
*****
When Sakou told you a few hours ago that she was bringing some card games over to Ohira’s dorm, you did not realise she meant Cards Against Humanity.
Sitting in a circle of seven on the floor - Goshiki and Kawaninchi promptly left after hearing the rules of the game and what kind of game it was - you immediately regret bringing the idea up.
You look down at your six cards, all out-of-pocket, some okay-ish things. But there's no way you're going to be able to do this with Ushijima around. And Ohira - oh, poor Ohira. He was forced into this because you all invaded his dorm.
Satori was going to read out the cards first and he looked very, very, excited.
“Alrighty - this one says, “The class field trip was completely ruined by…blank. Everyone - show me your cards!”
You smile sheepishly, pulling out what you think is the funniest card from your deck. You are not excited to be the one to read out the next black card. Or the to be the ‘Card Czar’ as Sakou mentioned just before.
Everyone slides their cards over to Satori. Sakou helps Ushijima - since she’s near him - to figure out what he’s doing.
Muffled laughter bubbles up Satori’s throat as he picks and reads every card. “Okay - cool beans.” he turns to Sakou. “I read them all out and then pick whatever one I think is funniest, right?”
“Yep.”
“Okayyy sooo…the class field trip was completely ruined by…german dungeon porn,” He snorts. “Being hunted by giant eagles, viagra,” Satori giggles with the rest of the group. “Murdering our parents, lumberjack fantasies and pictures of boobs.” For some reason, the last one is what makes him break into full-bellied laughter.
You snort. “What are you on, man.”
Sakou shakes her head. “All I know is that I want some.”
Ohira sighs.
“I pick…pictures of boobs, hehe.” Satori holds up the card. “Who put this one in?”
Sakou’s the one to put her hand up.
Of course.
You glance at Ushijima.
Straight-faced. Left hand toying with one of his cards.
Sakou picks a black card up from a hefty stack in the middle of the circle without hesitation, fully ready for what’s to come.
“What never fails to liven up a party?”
You look at your cards, pick the worst one - which is, unfortunately, ‘The incredible Gary, he’ll suck your nipple’ - and slide it over to her with a grimace.
“What never fails to liven up a party?” She picks up the first card, “Crabs?, Kanye West, 50 milligrams of Zoloft daily, my biological father, the rhythms of Africa anndddd the incredible Gary, he’ll suck your nipple.” She chuckles, then holds up the last card. “Who put in this one?”
“Me.” You say, sighing. Then you pick up a black card from the stack like you’ve seen the others do. “Ohmygod - okay, this says: my favorite…sex position is called…blank style.”
Everyone passes their cards to you.
“Ughhh okay, so ‘something’ style,” You pick up the cards and start reading them out one by one. “Getting tased in the balls style,” You giggle cautiously, "Inappropriate yodelling, hor- oh my god this one's actually funny - okay. Horse meat style, I am a goat style, gay and not wearing pants. Alright - I’ve definitely gotta go with the horse meat one.”
Satori nods, “Yeah that one was good.”
“Who put that one in?”
Yamagata raises his hand, a grin plastered on his face, “That’d be me.”