Chapter Text
Toshinori did not leave his boy’s side all night. He knew he was in a hospital but he was still scared to leave him alone for so long. What if something happens and he's not there? He can't let that happen again.
‘Yagi..’
His head shot up, startled by the sudden break in silence.
‘Yes my boy?’
‘I.. kinda need to pee’
Izuku looked insanely embarrassed, but Toshinori smiled. It was quite amusing. They'll laugh about it one day
He chuckled, ‘come on then, i’ll help you’
Izuku felt so awkward as he struggled out of the bed, Yagi standing by his side ready to help. He winced. Fuck. pain shot up his arm as he absent mindedly put his weight on it. He fell back slightly, holding his arm. He looked up to yagi.
Yagi winced with him, he hated seeing him in pain. He held out his hand. Izuku took it, instead using Yagi’s strength to pull him up with minimal pain.
He struggled to his feet. Turns out, not using your feet for a week after losing over a liter of blood makes it pretty hard to walk again. His head span as he stood, black seeped in from the corners of his vision. He felt so dizzy. Just before he fell back down, he drabbed onto Toshinori, resting his head on the man’s shoulder
‘You're okay,’ he says reassuringly, rubbing his hand against his kid’s back, ‘it'll pass’
His head stayed there for a few seconds before Toshinori heard a small sniffle, then he stood straight again. He looked so tired, Yagi thought.
He sighed, ‘okay’ Izuku looked a little more confident than he did before. The two slowly walked towards the bathroom, stopping once on the way as his weak legs threatened to give out on him.
‘Okay, you good?’ Izuku took a second, and then nodded.
His arm still hurts. There has been a dull pain ever since he woke up, thanks to pain meds, but now it stings. He held his arm up, he wasn't expecting that. Blood.
‘Uh.. yagi?’ izuku walked out of the bathroom, yagi placing a supportive hand on his shoulder.
‘What's up?’
Izuku held out his arm, blood seeping through his once clean bandages. Yagi help his breath. He hated it, but he had to look after him.
‘Its.. it's just your stitches opening a little, from earlier.’
Izuku nodded shakily, ‘yeah.. Yeah. just my stitches opening’ he can feel his chest closing.
Toshinori could tell by the boy’s wide eyes and panicked expression that this answer did not soothe him. Furthermore, he could see the boy’s chest begin to rise and fall rapidly.
Izuku began hyperventilating as he was guided down the wall behind him and onto the floor. Blood. Just like that night.
He blacked out quicker than he had originally expected that night, but he distinctly remembers gulping down the pills, plunging the blade into his clean skin. Laying on the floor, watching unrelenting blood begin to pump out, how it quickly poured out onto his blue, itchy carpet. He felt more peace in that moment than he had done his entire life as his eyes became heavy and his body went cold.
God, he wished it had worked. He had wished he would never have to live with this guilt, that's why he made sure. He made sure.
How could he be so stupid? He can't even imagine the state he left himself in. He shouldn't be alive to imagine it, he should be dead.
He didn't realise how much he was panicking until he felt a strong hand grab at his arm. The sudden pain brought him back to reality. He still couldn't breathe. Only now, he was in hospital again. Bright lights burned his teary eyes as they adjusted to the man in front of him. All Might.
He looked down. He had a firm hold of the boy’s arm, which was now outstretched upwards. His own hand was bloody, and, looking up at his arm, that was also now covered in blood. This made the boy panic even more, wriggling and trying desperately to pry his mentor’s hand away.
The man grabbed his other arm, too, pinning the boy to the wall to restrain him. Izuku made eye contact again, still desperately trying to wriggle away. The man looked panicked, tears pricking at his eyes.
‘Izuku, stop. Breathe. You're okay. You're safe.’
Izuku desperately tried to catch his breath. He stopped moving, realising fully what was happening.
‘Copy me okay?’ All Might moved his hand from the boy’s uninjured arm and began counting with his fingers, breathing in and out as he did so.
After a while, it worked. Izuku’s breathing slowed to a normal speed once again. He stared at the man wide eyed, both of them still crying.
‘Y- you're hurting me’
Toshinori quickly took his hand away from the boy’s other arm, I'm sorry, but you were digging your nails into your arm.. I had to stop you.’
‘Its fine..’ Izuku sighed, ‘I'm so sorry.. The blood.. It's just..’
‘Made you think of that night? Me too.’
‘I'm sorry.’
‘Its oka-’
‘You weren't meant to find me, Yagi. Christ, it was never meant to be you. I don't know who.. But not you.’
‘Izuku, I'm glad I did. If I didn't .. You’d be dead right now.’
Izuku looked away. They both sat in bitter silence for a while until Izuku spoke again.
‘I just.. I can still picture it. The blood, my arm. There was so much blood.’
‘So can I, my boy. I can’t imagine the pain you were.. Are going through right now.’
The boy stared at his hero with a look of understanding. Toshinori smiled slightly before pulling his kid into a tight hug. Izuku, surprised by the sudden hug, took a second to process before he reached one arm around to hug him back.
‘I’m so glad you're still here,’ Yagi’s voice choked on his tears, he was shaking.
‘Y.. yeah.’
He freed his boy from the hug, looking him up and down through teary eyes,
‘We should get you cleaned up, before the psychiatric nurse comes by.’
‘Shit.. do you think this will affect my case?’
Toshinori sighed, ‘let's hope it doesn't, my boy. You don't need to be here any longer than you have.’
—
They eventually got Izuku back to his feet, and back to his hospital bed. Izuku, heeding Toshinori’s good advice, did not look down as the nurse carefully re-stitched the wound and bandaged his arm back up. He squeezed his teacher’s hand aggressively as he cringed from the pain, Toshinori making circles with his thumb on the back of the boy’s hand as he did so. He cringed himself, watching his boy in so much pain.
‘We're all done, Izuku,’ the nurse looked at the boy as he lifted his head sheepishly. He looked down at his arm, his once red bandages now a clean white.
‘If you want these stitches to heal, you can’t touch it. If you keep doing this, your wound could get infected. Then you could lose your arm. I know it’s hard, but do what’s best for you.’
‘I know, I'm sorry for the trouble. Thanks.’
The nurse smiled at him, before picking up his chard and writing in it, ‘its okay, we’re here to help.’
—
The psychiatric nurse came, ushering Toshinori out the door for her conversation with izuku. Twenty minutes later, the nurse left, rushing to her next patient. Toshinori quickly made his way back into the room. It was late by now, the boy looked tired.
‘So, how did it go?’ Toshinori asked carefully.
Izuku tried sheepishly to prop himself up as the man spoke, ‘good news. She said my panic attack earlier wasn't a worry, but I'd need to address it in therapy. She said i’d be free to leave in the next few days under the conditions you agreed to.’
Toshinori’s eyes widened. This was good news, but he hadn't told Izuku about the therapy yet. Izuku didn't seem like he cared, looking at the man with tired eyes.
‘Did she tell you? About the therapy?’
‘Only that I'd be doing it.’
Toshinori gulped, ‘yeah, I spoke to someone last week. They recommended you do therapy every day for the time being. Your first session is next week.’
Izuku nodded, leaning back to stare at the ceiling. It made sense, however much he was dreading it.
—
It was only two more days until Izuku was allowed to leave. Toshinori had brought fresh clothes and some ‘congrats’ cards from the class. He helped the boy into his clothes, thoughtfully providing his hoodie to hide his arm.
After waiting a while for his doctor to come by, Izuku was finally free to go.