Chapter Text
Jim checked his watch for what felt like the hundredth time. He didn't like the anxious feeling starting to build inside of him, and he forced himself to remember that he was still technically early (only by a few minutes now, but Jim would not let himself count down the seconds like he wanted to do).
He had asked Spock to meet him at the small restaurant just a few blocks away from Starfleet Academy at 1900 hours earlier that day. Jim had told himself that asking Spock to dinner would be the hardest part, especially since he had to pretend that he hadn't memorized Spock's whole class schedule to catch him right at the perfect moment. The Vulcan had eyed him suspiciously for a second, but Kirk was sure he had played it casually enough. Spock also had a habit of eyeing everyone suspiciously, so maybe he hadn't noticed a thing.
Probably.
Hopefully.
Jim checked his watch again. It was already past the time he had told Spock to meet him. Not by much, but Kirk hadn't known a Vulcan who would dare show up late to anything.
Kirk forced himself to let go of the serviette that had borne the brunt of his growing uneasiness. This truly had been a mistake. He really should just have left Starfleet to handle this one. They had already approved the promotion-- heck, Admiral Pike was the one to suggest in the first place-- but Kirk had just wanted to make it special.
It was not every day that you got to ask someone to be your first officer. Especially not someone as special as Spock. He knew every single one of his senior crew members would be excited to have him as their XO-- mostly because Uhura and Scotty had teamed up to remind him how valuable Spock would be to their crew (not that Kirk needed more convincing, but it was heartwarming to hear it from those who had had the pleasure of serving with him before). He truly was the perfect first officer. Or he would be if Kirk even got the chance to offer the position to him.
He really hadn't met anyone like Spock before. From their first handshake, Kirk had known something was just different.
Krik recalled one night in particular. They had been playing chess late at night in Spock's quarters, a tradition that had started shortly after their first meeting. It was usually a perfect moment to unwind and just relax, but their mission that day in Nelvana II hung heavy over them.
The planet, right at the edge of the Romulan neutral zone, hosted a small colony of non-federation settlers. The Enterprise and the Farragut had intercepted distress signals from the surface as they were conducting a joint mission in search of a Romulan ship that had been detected near the vicinity. Immediately, they had organized the necessary personnel and beamed down to the planet.
Kirk had been in the first landing party. He wished he hadn't. The stench had been unbearable immediately.
He had beamed down with almost the full security team of the Farragut, but those people hadn't been attacked. They had starved.
The crops had failed. They had sent a ship out to look for help. They had reached Romulan space, and then the Federation had stepped in-- but not to help. They had only been there to prevent the Romulans from crossing past the neutral zone, and inadvertently stopping all aid to the dying population of Nelvana II.
Kirk hadn't been able to shake it off, even after hours-- even after they had done all they could to help the survivors. And that night-- he couldn't remember it all-- but it had been too much. During their game, he remembered tears slowly threatening to make their appearance alongside all those nasty thoughts he had fought damned hard to keep away. But he couldn't hold it in.
Immediately, he had felt so much shame for breaking, especially in front of a Vulcan, but then, Spock had been right there, gripping his hand tightly, bringing back to shore when he needed to, but allowing to wallow just enough in the shallow and dark sea for the rest of the night. They had not continued their chess game that night, but it had cemented a single truth. Kirk needed Spock. Spock was--
"Are you still waiting to order, sir?" asked a waiter, breaking Kirk out of his reverie.
Kirk looked at his watch one more time. He felt his stomach sink completely. It was now almost an hour past the time.
He kept staring at the watch. Something had to be wrong with the thing-- there was just no way.
Kirk was about to tell the waiter that he would just be leaving when a second figure stepped next to the table.
"Commander," said Spock. "I apologize for my tardiness. I attempted to send a message to your communicator, but I was unable to reach you."
Kirk looked up and his brain cells immediately seemed to shut down.
Spock was wearing a dark, long robe, that flowed elegantly down to the floor. Kirk had never seen him wear anything other than his Starfleet uniform, but the thing that captured his attention was the Vulcan's soft, blue eye shadow that perfectly brought out his elegant features.
Kirk would have waited forever, he decided.
"Commander?" Spock said, looking at him with a raised eyebrow.
"Sorry, you were saying?" Kirk said, finally managing to get his mouth to work.
"My message?"
"Your message?"
Spock looked at Kirk with mild confusion.
Kirk finally jumped back into reality. He reached for his pocket, attempting to find his communicator, before remembering he had left it in his jacket when he hung it at the front of the restaurant.
"Sorry, I seem to have misplaced my communicator," Jim said apologetically. "But don't worry about it-- please have a seat."
Spock sat down in the chair opposite him, and Kirk had to force his eyes back to the holographic display menu on the table. He did not want to make Spock uncomfortable with the starring.
"So, what was holding you up for so long?" Kirk asked.
"Our experiment in the astrophysics lab had some interesting results."
"Was that the one you told me about where you were working with Lieutenant Sulu?"
"Affirmative."
Kirk glanced up at his friend. Spock seemed completely focused on reading the menu, so Kirk just kept looking.
In the past few months, he had been promoted to Captain, assigned command of the Enterprise for a five-year mission, and met the wonderful people who would become his crew in two months.
He almost expected to wake up-- there was no way that he could be that lucky.
"You know," Kirk said, "I requested Sulu as part of my crew."
Spock did not make eye contact with Kirk nor did he give any signs of hearing his statement. The Vulcan just continued to look at the menu.
"I also requested Uhura and Scotty," he continued.
Spock remained silent.
Kirk kept looking at him, and he knew he had that sparkle in his eyes that Bones often made fun of. He couldn't help it.
"They are valuable Starfleet members," Spock eventually said still not looking up. "It was a logical decision."
Kirk nodded.
Uhura and Scotty had been on his list right after Bones and, of course, Spock.
They ordered their food, and as they waited, the conversation continued. Kirk told Spock about how he was thinking about visiting his parents back in Iowa, and Spock talked about one of his students in his advanced computer science class-- a surprisingly young cadet called Pavel. Kirk made a mental note to look into him.
The conversation flowed easily and before Kirk knew it, they were done with their food.
Without overthinking it, Kirk reached into his pocket, grabbed the small metal badge, and plopped it on the table right in front of Spock.
They both stared at it for a moment.
"Commander--"
"Look," Kirk interrupted, "I know this is a big decision to make-- and frankly you might even think we haven't spent that much together. Heck, we have never even served on the same ship before! However, I cannot think of anyone else I would want to have by my side-- so what do you say?"
The badge caught the shine from the soft restaurant lights and reflected it back to them.
"You want me to be your science officer?" Spock said.
"Well, if you want that too, we can work on it, but-- Spock: would you do me the honor of being my first officer?"
Spock looked up at him.
Whenever they talked, Kirk had always prided himself on his ability to read Vulcan's microexpressions.
Spock's face was devoid of any expression.
Kirk felt a cold feeling settle inside him.
"No."