Chapter Text
The sun was already high in the sky when Nam-gyu stirred.
Light filtered through the curtain-less window, pooling on the floor in warm, dust speckled patches.
The apartment smelled like stale cigarette smoke and shitty cologne.
Su-bong was already awake.
He sat at his desk, shoulders hunched, hood over his head.
One leg bounced under the desk, and he was swiping on his phone.
Nam-gyu sat up slowly, rubbing a hand over his face.
His body ached in that satisfied kind of way. But his chest.. that felt different. Tight. Uneasy.
Last night had been a blur of passion and don’t think, just touch, but now the silence between them felt louder.
Sharper. Like whatever they’d done had shifted the atmosphere, and now they both had to face what came next.
Su-bong didn’t look up when he spoke.
“You hungry?”
Nam-gyu blinked, throat dry. “Not really.”
Su-bong nodded once. “Didn’t think so.”
He set his phone down.
There was a pause.
Nam-gyu pulled his hoodie on, needing something to shield himself.
He sat at the edge of the couch, elbows on his knees, staring at a cigarette burn on the coffee table.
Su-bong finally broke the silence again.
“So… are we gonna talk about it, or are we just pretending it didn’t happen?”
Nam-gyu looked at him;
His face was unreadable. Calm, maybe. But in that way Su-bong got when he was holding back something sharp.
“I’m not pretending,” Nam-gyu said quietly.
Su-bong gave a tight nod. “Okay.”
Another pause.
Nam-gyu exhaled. “I just… I don’t know what you want me to say.”
Su-bong looked at him for a long moment, then stood up and crossed the room, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed.
“I want to know if you meant it,” he said. “Last night. If it was just a one-off because you felt guilty, or lonely, or because we were high—”
He stopped himself. “Or if you want something real.”
Nam-gyu swallowed. He stared down at his hands.
“I don’t know,” he said, finally.
That answer sat in the space between them like a dropped match.
Su-bong didn’t move. He just let it hang there.
“I’m not trying to mess with you,” Nam-gyu added, voice low. “It’s not that I didn’t feel anything. I did. I do.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
Nam-gyu ran a hand through his hair, frustrated with himself. “It’s not that simple. I’m still… fucked up from everything. Myunggi. Just, life in general. I don’t even know who I am yet. I don’t know what I’m doing.”
He looked up at Su-bong, eyes tired.
“And you; you deserve something stable. Not someone who disappears when shit gets hard.”
Su-bong’s jaw flexed.
“I’m not asking you to be with me. I’m not asking for a label,” he said, quieter now. “I’m just asking if you actually want me. Or if I’m some… halfway house on your way to figuring your shit out.”
Nam-gyu didn’t answer right away.
He wanted to reach out. Wanted to say something that would fix it. But every word in his head felt dishonest, cowardly.
So he just said the one thing that felt true.
“I don’t want to lose you.”
That made Su-bong look at him. Really look.
Nam-gyu held his gaze. “I can’t promise I know what I’m doing. But I’m not walking out on you again.”
Su-bong studied him, searching for cracks, maybe. For doubt; But there was nothing else to say.
Eventually, he nodded.
“Then don’t,” he said softly.
And he sat back down beside him.
They didn’t touch.
But the space between them wasn’t as wide anymore.