Chapter Text
"I like the face on that one! That settles it! I'm taking that Gunmen!"
"Huh? What are you talking about?"
"I said I'm gonna pilot that thing!"
Things were looking not-so great for the Littner Village group, as their hideout was currently being attacked by Gunmen. The ones that they scared off not too long ago were back for revenge, and they brought a new friend with them. A red Gunmen that quaked the ground as it walked. Let's just say Kamina, with his sunglass and trademark grin, looked at that one, and made a decision. Yoko stared at him in disbelief.
The small body of Lagann raced towards them at 500km/h.
"Bro!" Simon called out, a face full of determination unlike the shy boy he normally is.
Kamina smirked. "Got here just in time, blood brother!" He jumped up, landing in the moving Lagann's cockpit, which sealed itself. They charged towards the enemy Gunmen. The rest of the humans were confused as to what they were doing.
Inside Lagann's cockpit, Simon had a face of rage on his face.
"It was them, Bro... they were the cause of those tremors! They were the ones who..." Simon grit his teeth in anger. Kamina looked down at him with sympathy in his eyes.
"Right... your parents..."
"That's why they're gonna pay!" Simon shouted.
"That's the spirit, Simon!" Kamina's sympathetic face turned into another signature smirk.
The red Gunmen took notice of their approach, but one of his henchmen got in Lagann's path, and threw a punch. Lagann jumped up in time, it's small body running up the larger Gunmen's arm. That Gunmen shook it off, and tried throwing another punch at the vulnerable mech, with Lagann narrowly dodging it and the sheer force causing it's body to spin around like a top.
"Whoooaaaaa!" Simon and Kamina were spinning in the cockpit.
The accidentally Gunmen hit the red Gunmen straight in the face, knocking it down.
"Sorry!" It's pilot called. But Kamina saw a opportunity. He jumped out of Lagann's cockpit at superhuman speeds, and landed on top of the downed Gunmen. Now was his chance! He pulled out the pistol Yoko gave him, pointing it at the part where the cockpit was. Now he just had to... turn it over and slam the gun's hilt into the armor, over and over.
Yoko, who was nervously watching through her sniper scope, sighed in resignation. "He said he knew how to use one..."
"GET OFF HIS HEAD, HUMAN!" The other Beastman was annoyed at having being ignored, it's Gunmen's arm reaching out to grab Kamina, but in a impressive display of strength, Lagann caught the arm.
"Don't you dare lay a hand on my Bro!" As Simon shouted, a drill came from Lagann's head and destroyed it's arm. Lagann then opened the cockpit up, the gorilla-like Beastman dumbfounded inside.
"I'm taking over." Kamina said.
The Beastman was promptly sent flying out of the cockpit. Kamina sat down in the cockpit, ready to pilot. But then.
Warning systems flash across the screens, preventing Kamina from piloting it, as the Gunmen shut down, and Kamina looked around in confusion. The two henchmen took notice.
"COMMANDER GOONZAK HAS BEEN KILLED!" One of them shouted.
"Grah... STINKING HUMANS, YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!" The other said. On the ground, the ape-like Beastman tried to get their attention.
"HEY! I'M NOT DEAD YET YOU TWO IDIOTS- AGHH!!!" As it was jumping up and down, one of the henchmen's Gunmen accidentally stepped on it's leg, crushing it. Said Gunmen then went up and kicked the red one into the air.
"HOW DARE YOU KILL COMMANDER GOONZAK!"
"AGH!" Kamina shouted from the inside. The other Gunmen followed up with a dropkick.
"THIS IS FOR THE COMMANDER!" Kamina screamed once more. He struggled to hold on as he was being knocked over into the air.
"Bro! I'm comi- huh?!" Simon tried going after him, but one of the rogue Gunmen took hold of Lagann, and chucked him at Kamina anyways. Lagann comically hit the giant red Gunman flying in the air like a bowling ball, and knocked it back down to the ground face-first. Lagann also fell to the ground, a unconscious Simon slumping in his seat. Back in the other Gunmen's cockpit, Kamina growled.
"Crap... come on, Kamina! Show some more spirit!" Kamina, his glasses knocked away, pounded at a wall inside the cockpit.
Just then, the cameras turned on, and right in front of them, was a human skeleton.
Kamina did not expect this and flinched in shock. His confident demeanor was gone. He was breathing heavily, staring at the skeleton. As he hyperventilated, his own skeleton seemed to shake to the core inside him. Right now, he wasn't the confident Kamina everyone saw him as, but someone different. For the first time, he panicked. However...
He regained control and stepped on the pile of bones, destroying the distraction. He wasn't going to be put down for long. The Gunmen rose from the ground, and Kamina finally was in charge. Sweat trickled down his body, but he smirked.
"Heh... don't screw with me, you bastards..."
Meanwhile, Lagann was buried in the dirt, and the two other Gunmen approached it. One raised it's foot to crush the vulnerable Gunmen.
"IT'S OVER FOR YOU, RUNT-"
"'JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM' KICK!!!" Kamina's new Gunmen unleashed a dropkick at both enemy gunmen at Mach speeds. It staggered both, but the red Gunmen's own legs literally shattered from the force, but Kamina wasn't finished.
"'HANDS OFF MY BELOVED LITTLE BROTHER' PUNCH!!!" He uses the left arm of the Gunmen to punch the staggered ones away. But the arm shatters too, leaving only it's right arm in use. Two giant metal bodies fly past the other humans at Mach speeds, kicking up dust and skidding to a stop a kilometer away from Kamina's gunman. Inside Lagann's cockpit, Simon's eyes blink open and stare up at Kamina's Gunmen.
"Bro...?" Lagann is lifted by it's remaining arm.
"Alright Simon, let's show em what we can do!" Lagann is gripped hard in it's hand.
"Huh-"
The red Gunman Kamina's in enters a baseball-like stance, before pitching Lagann at Mach speeds towards the two Gunmen. Simon is impacted by the large amount of kickback, sheer terror in his eyes.
"FINISHING MOVE!!! LAGANN IMPACT!!!"
"THIS IS REALLY RIDICULOUUSSSSS!!!!" Simon cried out.
The flying Lagann quickly formed a drill from the bottom of it's body, and pointed towards the two staggered enemy Gunmen. It charged at them, aiming to pierce it's bodies. However... they notice this and narrowly dodge, Lagann hitting and instead drilling through a cliff side. Looking back at Kamina, the two Beastmen blow raspberries at him in a mocking tone. However, Simon isn't finished yet.
He uses Lagann's drill, retaining all his kinetic energy, and makes a U-turn in the massive rock face he's drilling through, coming back out right next to the previous hole he made. This time, the two Gunmen pilots do not notice, too distracted to care, and are pierced by Lagann from behind, both exploding in a massive firework. Kamina's Gunmen then catches in it's remaining hand, having a return to sender.
The other humans can only look on in amazement. Leeron chuckles.
"In all our time we didn't even think about hijacking a Gunmen... those two really are something..." He chuckles again. Yoko side-eyes him but only for a moment, looking back at the triumphant duo in their Gunmen.
--the randoms--
Kamina: guys we now have a new gunmen! I decided to call it Gurren.
Akira: what are these weird names bro first Lagann now Gurren.
Simon: I don't know really
Emiya: Hi, everyone. I'm currently a bit hurt as I speak right now... nothing big, just some small cuts and scrapes.
Link: uh what happened?
Rin: He kinda got a bit injured last night in a fight with the enemy.
Dawn: oh ok
Emiya: Hi Rin.
Dawn: ...wait who are you again
Emiya: WAIT HOW ARE YOU HERE?
Rin: Oh I added myself while you were asleep
Ruby: So you have a phone thing or whatever?
Rin: I found this in the basement not too long ago, but i don't remember putting it there or seeing it or whatever.
Emiya: This devil...
Rin: Emiya, I formally apologize for looking at your phone without your permission. No offense really.
Emiya: Yeah, considering your own servant tried to kill mine under a "alliance"
Rin: Archer has been lectured, that aside tho I'm sure he's actually satan though
Emiya: makes sense for a devil like you
Rin: no I'm not kidding he's actually Satan fr.
Ruby: I am so lost
Mark: so, uh... can someone tell me what's happening here?
Rin: don't worry about it
Emiya: don't worry about it.
Mark: very helpful I guess
Megumi: So... this became awkward quickly.
Dawn: So I finally am about to fight the gym leader any ideas
Ruby: so you gotta be real precise about hitting them
Megumi: Planned and strategized tactics, especially being careful helps.
Kamina: hit them realllllyyyyyy hard
Ryuji: screw strategy just hit them really hard
Dawn: so one side is careful planning...
Emiya: I think this is safer.
Dawn: and basically the other is to run them over.
Akira: DRIVING IN MY CAR RIGHT AFTER A BEER
Mark: HEY THAT BUMP IS SHAPED LIKE A DEER
Ryuji: DUI??? HOW ABOUT YA DIE!!!
Dawn: yeah imma run them over sounds better
Ruby: 0_0
Megumi: I'm surrounded by idiots
Akira: ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠗⣪⣵⣶⠞⣃⣄⡻⠇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⡇⣿⣿
⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢡⣾⣿⣿⠁⠚⠧⠿⠛⠜⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⡇⣿⣿
⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⡿⣛⣋⢅⣤⣷⡯⣥⣒⠎⣙⡛⠿⠿⠿⢋⡇⣿⣿
⢨⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⢡⣴⣾⠏⣴⣯⣍⠻⣿⣮⠻⢷⣌⢻⣧⢰⣶⡟⡅⣿⣿
⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣥⣾⣿⠇⣾⢿⣧⣤⣤⣌⡟⢳⠿⠛⠀⣿⠸⢋⣼⣧⣛⣻
⢈⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⢉⠁⣿⣿⠏⣾⢟⣨⣛⠻⣛⣻⡻⣿⣶⣮⢐⢡⣾⡈⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢀⣠⣤⣶⣶⡶⢒⠀⠿⡿⢸⡏⠼⢢⡩⣅⠈⢹⣿⢿⡛⢗⢸⢘⣟⣣⣛⣛⣛⣛
⢸⣿⣿⣿⡿⣣⣿⢿⡷⣭⠘⡀⠐⣻⣷⠪⣛⠦⣤⣤⣬⡤⢠⡈⢼⣇⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢸⣿⣿⡟⣰⣿⣿⣦⡛⢷⣾⣿⠡⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣷⣶⠶⣶⣆⢩⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢸⣿⣿⢱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡦⠙⣿⣟⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣷⣿⣿⢣⣿⡇⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢸⣿⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣵⣷⠹⣿⣷⣤⣉⣥⣛⠘⣋⠛⢣⣿⣿⡇⣠⡹⣿⣿⣿
⢸⣿⣧⠻⣿⣿⡿⢋⣾⣿⣿⣧⠹⠿⡿⠿⢿⣿⠿⢋⣔⣻⠿⣫⣾⣿⣿⡌⢿⣿
Mark: you mean
Mark:
Ryuji: yoooo
Ryuji:
Akira: BWAHAHAHHAEHuEbyhdciuoyebfuioa
Yoko: God help me
...
Link: guys I cooked some prime meat it tastes good
Dawn: GET OUTTTT
Rin: cool beans I'm learning to cook more myself
Emiya: More like trying to one up me for no reason at all
Rin: what? I would never
Emiya: Sure...
--Universe: Pokemon--
"Welcome, This is the Oreburgh Gym!" Roark, the gym leader, was at the end of the massive room Dawn had to go through, fighting multiple Trainers in the process.
"I'm Roark, the Gym Leader! What's your name?"
"Uh, I'm Dawn, from Twinleaf, nice to meet you." Dawn awkwardly stammered. She isn't a full person on conversations.
"It's nice to meet you too. Well... I guess we can't keep waiting much longer, so we should get started!" Roark grabbed a Poke ball from his belt."Now show me the bonds between you and your Pokemon!"
Dawn grinned. She wasn't a speaker, but let's just say battling was working out for her. She faces down the first Gym leader, remembering to hit hard, but stay calm, the advice that her friends gave her.
"Alright, let's go! Piplup!"
And so the battle began.
-----
"Impressive, I suppose I'm down to my last Pokemon... Go, Cranidos!" A small dinosaur-like creature emerged in front of Roark, facing the Piplup which is growing tired.
"Cranidos, Headbutt!" The Pokemon charges forward. Piplup, weakened from the previous Pokemon, suffers a hit.
Man, this is bad... These are our last Pokemon... and this isn't looking too good for Piplup.
"Double Team!" The Cranidos duplicates and surrounds the Piplup.
"It was fun, you know. You reached my last Pokemon, quite impressive, but now I guess I should win!"
I'm so confused... what do I do? I was doing good, but... wait...
"Headbutt!" Roark yelled.
"Piplup!" Dawn cried out, and the Pokemon released a surge of water, knocking the Cranidos back. However, it was now out of options, exhausted once more. The Cranidos had a little more left in it.
"Huh... well, let's try that again, Headbutt!" Roark said. But the Pokemon did not move. Roark looked on, confused. The Cranidos immediately charged at a wall, knocking itself out, as he looks on, shocked. That was when he realized, speaking OF confusion...
Water Pulse, eh? It's possible for it to confuse a oppenent, at a 20% chance... she got lucky. Her gamble worked.
"We did it, Piplup!" Dawn ran over to it, and the Pokemon stared back up at her in approval. Roark approached her.
"Well, congrats on winning. Take this Gym Badge, since there's nothing left for me to do." He hands her the Rock badge. She proudly shakes his hand, and puts it in the container which she will keep her badges in. As she proudly walks out of the Gym, she turns to walk to the Pokemon center to heal up her Pokemon.
1 down, 7 more to go...
--the randoms--
Dawn: I did it!
Akira: well fuck she did it
Ruby: congrats :)
Kamina: nice
Rin: ok
Emiya: Don't listen to her, good job.
Rin: what did I say?
Megumi: Well done.
Ryuji: did you run them over?
Dawn: yes I did
Mark: DRIVING IN MY CAR AFTER A BEER
Link: HEY DOES THAT BUMP LOOK LIKE A DEER
Dawn: ...
Link: what its funny so I memorized it
Yoko: we're so done for...
Leeron: Cheer up Yoko its not that bad...
Simon: Yeah, its pretty chill here
Yoko: yeah but...
Ruby: so now what are you gonna do
Dawn: head to the next gym duh
Akira: the gym scares me
Ryuji: you haven't been to one
Akira: hell nah
Ryuji: man you can't really tell in the metaverse bro is a MENACE
Akira: wait I just remembered
Akira has added User 14 to the chat
User 14: what the heck is this
Ryuji: wait Ann is that you
User 14: uh...
User 14: yeah?
User 14 has changed their name to Ann
Akira: this is Ann guys she also just happened to become a persona user just by chance idk so now shes with us
Rin: what the hell is happening here
Simon: don't worry about it
Kamina: oh cool, a new member to our troupe!
Ruby: welcome new clan member
Ann: uh hi!
Link: please I've had enough of clans I found this one normal dude that turned into a banana addict clan member and tried to kill me like 2 seconds ago luckily I used my powers to chuck a log at him he's dead now
Megumi: What is going on in your world?
Mark: bananas? seriously?
Rin: thank God I'm not living there...
Emiya: Not like our current situation is much better though
Link: he dropped this cool sickle
Ruby: hmmmm....
Dawn: Ruby you need a restraining order
Link: its just a farm sickle its not that deep
Ruby: no I was just thinking about the entrance exams tomorrow we're going to bed for the night
Link: ...huh?
Dawn: SHE DIDNT HAVE A HYSTERICAL RANT LESGOOO
Ruby: had a run in with a white haired girl with zero manners whatsoever and a emo girl who reads books apparently Yang wants them to be my friends since I don't have any
Yoko: what about us
Ruby: not that she knows of
Mark: that's sad bruh
Kamina: Just who the hell does she think you are???
Ruby: eh
Ann: so I've been forgotten
Ryuji: it happens for the newbies
Rin: tell me about it
Ruby: also link I just noticed that sickle comment
Emiya: Ruby it's just a farming tool...
Rin: I have a bad feeling uh oh
Ann: this can't be that bad right
Ruby: SO IS IT A LEFT OR RIGHT HANDED ONE OR SOMETHING I DUNNO AND HOW DID HE USE A FARMING TOOL AS A WEAPON IVE NEVER HEARD OF THAT BEFORE
Ann: yeah I jinxed it
Mark: you'll get used to it
Megumi: I hope so
Ruby: @Link ANSWER ME
Link has logged off
Ruby: NOOO
Dawn: uh
Ruby: I will find his adress uh I mean ask him about it later peacefully :D
Link has logged on
Link: ...
Link: btw jokes on you I don't have one yet
Link has logged off
Rin: -_-
Leeron: my my
...
Kamina: well... he said "yet" so don't give in ruby
Mark: WHY ARE YOU HELPING HER BRUH
--Universe: RWBY--
"For years, you have trained to become warriors." Ozpin, Beacon Academy's headmaster, spoke to them all. "And today, your abilities will now be tested in the Emerald Forest." They were on a cliff side, overlooking the massive Emerald forest in front of them.
Ozpin's assistant, Glynda, stepped up to add in some things of her own.
"Now, I'm sure many of you have heard rumors about the assignment of 'teams.' Well, allow us to put an end to your confusion. Each of you will be given teammates... today." She spoke.
Ruby made a face, clearly not too keen about this.
Ozpin added on to the previous statement.
"These teammates will be with you for the rest of your time here at Beacon. So it is in your best interest to be paired with someone with who you can work well."
Ruby groaned. Yeah. Not too keen.
Ozpin continued. "That being said, the first person you make eye contact with after landing will be your partner for the next four years."
Ruby's groans stopped. A shocked expression on her face, the world practically just shattered around her.
...Yeah, not too keen about this at all.
Ozpin went even further with his explanation. "After you've partnered up, make your way to the northern end of the forest. You will meet opposition along the way. Do not hesitate to destroy everything in your path... or you will die." Some blond guy in the set gulped a little. Ruby had met him before, shortly after arriving. He was a guy who puked on the ride here, called Jaune Arc.
"You will be monitored and graded through the duration of your initiation, but our instructors will not intervene. You will find an abandoned temple at the end of the path containing several relics. Each pair must choose one and return to the top of the cliff. We will regard that item, as well as your standing, and grade you appropriately. Are there any questions?"
The blond guy raised his hand. "Yeah, um, sir-"
"Good, now take your positions." Ozpin ignored him.
Everyone got ready for the test. Jaune, asking Ozpin continued talking.
"Uh, sir? I've got, um... a question... So, this landing... strategy thing... Uh, wha-what is it? You're, like, dropping us off or something?" He stammered out.
"No, you will be falling." Ozpin responded. Jaune must have missed it, but people were starting to get launched off the tiles they were standing on into the forest below. They were prepared, obviously, but this guy didn't notice.
"So, did you pack... like, parachutes?" Jaune continued.
"No, you will be using your own landing strategy." Ozpin nonchalantly replied. Yang turned to Ruby, winking at her younger sister, before getting launched. Ruby steeled herself in turn, before getting thrown herself by the mechanism.
Jaune, the last one in line, continued. "So what exactly is a landing stratEGYYYY-" He was promptly launched by the tile underneath him into the forest below. Ozpin simply stared after all the attendees. He takes one last glance, and sips at his coffee.
--Universe: Fate--
--the randoms--
Akira: so ruby wont be here for a while apparently
Akira: its gonna be so fucking quiet without her fr
Mark: POV: the server
Mark: 30% Akira, 50% Ruby, 20% the rest of us frfr
Emiya: I doubt that's actually true though...
Rin: I'm still new here
Emiya: You will be 90% one day...
Rin: shut it
Ann: so ryuji told me a bit more about you guys and what the hell happens here
Dawn: don't worry about it
Ann: the hell you mean don't worry about it????
Ryuji: listen you already know the gist its fine bruh
Kamina: Me, Yoko and Simon are going hunting for food! Don't expect us until around the evening, so just saying
Mark: see you kamina
Kamina: later everyone
Kamina has logged off
Megumi: I guess they're leaving too for the day.
Akira: you megamind
Akira: Megumi* stupid autocorrect
Link: Megamind. *snicker*
Megumi: You all...
Mark: megamind
Ryuji: megamind
Dawn: megamind
Megumi: Okay, okay, I GET IT.
Rin: megamind
Emiya: Guys, maybe we should stop.
Akira: megamind
Ann: big brain
Akira: ...
Ryuji: ...
Dawn: ...
Link: ...
Ann: what I was trying to be funny
Megumi: Just call me Megamind or I will exorcise you next.
Ann: but what
Rin: confess your sins my child
Emiya: Oh yes a actual priest is her caretaker.
Rin: fake priest*
Rin: he still pisses me off
Emiya: I feel like the world has just changed. Something she and I can agree on.
Rin: I know where you live
Emiya: Pardon me, ma'am
Emiya has logged off
Rin: I'm going to vaporize you just you wait.
Rin has logged off
Megumi: Finally, people are leaving so less people being annoying.
...
Mark:
...
Dawn: hey... is that megamind?
Megumi: Mark, please.
Link: Megumi I'm going to cook you on a silver platter
Link: @Ryuji @Ann @Akira
Megumi: Oh shit.
Link: cook him guys
Megumi: Don't you dare...
...
Akira:
Ryuji:
Ann:
...
Megumi: ...
Megumi: Screw you guys... I have to go, but I will return the favor and exorcise you all.
Akira: it was link tho
Megumi: Just. You. Wait.
Megumi has logged off
...
Ann: now what
Link: I kinda regret this
Dawn: nah this is funny everyone will die laughing when they get back
...
Link: yo guys I got a horse what should I name it
Ryuji: FOR REAL?!
Link: "for real" it is
Link: ...
Link: the stable owner looked at me kinda funny but shrugged it off
Mark: lowkey feels peaceful here
Akira: on god this shit so fire
Mark: its just us now eh
Dawn: wait what about leeron
Ann: who?
Akira: dont jinx it bro :pray:
...
...
...
Leeron: hello gentlemen~
Akira: FUUUUUU