Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Alex

Alex is in bed, just on the verge of sleep, when his phone vibrates on his nightstand. He ignores it, clinging to the far-off sound of a crowd chanting his name beneath the glare of stadium lights. He’s sweaty, breathing heavily, his vision going almost blurry from the high of victory. 

“Mullner! Mullner!”

Bzzzz.

Bzzzz.

Bzz–

Groaning, Alex reaches blindly for his phone, not bothering to check who’s calling before bringing it to his ear.

“What?”

Music is thumping in the background. Loud, rhythmic, not at all relaxing music, and Alex knows that he’s awake. 

“Are you sleeping?” Haley screams into the phone, chasing away the last of Alex’s dream.

“I was,” he grumbles, shifting into a sitting position in his bed with his back against the headboard. “You clearly aren’t.”

His words are meant to be scathing, but he sounds more jealous than anything else. In a way, that’s probably true. Haley decided to spend the summer in Zuzu City with some friends, a few hours and what felt like thousands of miles separating Alex from his only real friend in their shitty little town.

“Come visit me next weekend!” She ignores the jab as she usually does, knowing that Alex is more bark than bite. “I found the perfect guy for you. He’s–”

But Alex isn’t listening, instead pinching the bridge of his nose as he inhales for four seconds, then holds it for seven, and exhales for eight. 

“You know I can’t leave Marnie,” he repeats for what feels like the hundredth time since Haley gave him the news that she’d be gone for an entire season. “Besides, Granny needs help with the flowers, so–”

“Just– hold on,” Haley says, and Alex hears the sound of her nails smashing against her phone over the thumping of the music. His phone buzzes against his ear. “Tell me you don’t want some of that.”

He does as she commands, beaten into submission by years of Haley being Haley. As he unlocks his phone, he finds the three unread messages that prompted her to call, and the photo she’s just sent. 

Hales: alexxxxxxx

Hales: are you awake????

Hales: code purple i repeat CODE PURPLE

Hales: [A picture of the kind of guy she’d find attractive: tall, broad, blond, and in the middle of a beer pong game, either beer or what Alex hopes is sweat staining his grey t-shirt.]

Alex sighs before bringing the phone back to his ear.

“You call that a code purple?” He asks. “It’s a code blue if I’ve ever seen one.”

It was something they’d come up with in high school the night Alex drunkenly came out to Haley while hanging upside down off her bed. Code purple meant Alex would definitely be figuring out a way to get the guy alone in a closet. Code blue meant Alex would rather kiss Haley, something both of them found repulsive. They also had codes yellow and green, definitely straight, and maybe if I was more drunk respectively, though years of practice meant they used them less and less. 

Some nights, like this one, Alex misses having Haley around. And it’s only been eight days.

“Ugh, whatever,” Haley grumbles into the phone. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with the farmer, would it?”

The farmer who passed him over for Harvey. It’d been a hit to Alex’s ego far worse than flunking out of college. 

“Walk it off, Mullner,” she continues, adopting her best Coach Haley impression. “Talk to you tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” Alex sighs, throwing his head back against his bedroom wall, not bothering to wince at the impact. “Talk to you tomorrow.”

The line goes dead, and Alex drops his phone onto the duvet, all hopes of returning to sleep and his dream thoroughly dashed. It isn’t often that he feels sorry for himself. Yes, he’s had his fair share of problems, but if he looks good and feels good, things could be a lot worse. What was it that his old gridball coach used to say?

“There’s nothing a lap around the gridball field won’t fix.”

On his wall, the posters of his childhood heroes mock him. In the moonlight, it’s like he’s ten again, staring up at them as if they had all the answers to life’s problems. If he could be like them, his dad wouldn’t drink so much, and his mom wouldn’t be sick. Now, he sees them for what they are: pieces of paper signed by people who made it, while he rots away in his grandparents’ house in his mid-twenties with little more than a seasonal job at an ice cream stand. 

“Walk it off, Mulner,” he whispers to himself before throwing his legs over the side of his bed. He pulls on the first pair of pants he can find, grey joggers, and the shirt that smells the least, a Zuzu University gridball tee. 

The house is dark as he tiptoes past his grandparents’ room and down the hall, guided only by the need to get outside and away from this house and his life as quickly as possible. By the door, he grabs his keys and slips into a pair of sneakers, sans socks, and before he can talk himself out of it, he’s stepping into the all-too-humid summer evening. 

Sounds of general merriment float toward him from the saloon, but Alex heads in the opposite direction, thinking that he hasn’t been to the fountain since Haley left. It’s her favorite place in town, and maybe it’ll help him feel closer to her, even if she’s half the reason he feels so out of sorts. 

No, half isn’t fair. A quarter, maybe, or forty percent. Still, she holds some of the blame. As his best and, these days, only friend, it’s part of the job description. 

He takes the steps up toward the park two at a time, eyes focused on the cobblestones beneath his feet, then stops when he reaches the top. 

The old Community Center sits proudly behind a large cherry blossom tree, half-renovated and looking every bit the same way Alex feels. It seems the farmer abandoned that side quest, too, more interested in taking Harvey on trips to Ginger Island than being part of the mess that is Alex. Too many bundles, too much baggage, and the farmer moved on to something and someone better. And the rest of the town, it seems, has done the same. 

Alex is too busy trying to convince himself that such a rabbit hole will only make it less likely for him to fall asleep when he sees it: a light, sparking orange in the night through one of the glassless windows. It’s gone as quickly as it appears, fast enough that Alex thinks he may have made the whole thing up. He’s about to head for the fountain, his true destination, when smoke filters through the window. 

Sebastian.

He doesn’t know how he knows that it’s Sebastian, just that he does. No one else in Pelican Town smokes or is the type of person to hide out in an abandoned building in the middle of the night. 

Alex’s right foot moves of its own accord, turning his body in the direction of the Community Center even as a voice in the back of his mind begs him to turn around and go home. Haley would call it Fate. His grandma would call it Luck. Whatever it is, Alex finds himself powerless to the pull of the smoke and that broken window. 

The door pushes open with a slight creak, and Alex winces despite the fact that Sebastian had to have seen him coming. He glances at what appears to be a kid’s playhouse in the corner of the room, then lets his eyes travel across chipped and warped floorboards to a repaired and functioning fish tank. Down the hall to the right, the scent of cigarette smoke may as well be a swift push to the back with how quickly it makes him walk toward it. At the end of the hall, Alex finds a door left slightly open, moonlight falling to the ground through the crack. 

Don’t, his more rational self whispers. But, there is no stopping his hand from finding the doorknob and pushing. 

Sebastian sits facing him, his back to the window, and he rests with his eyes closed, his head leaning back against the wall. Every few moments, he puts the cigarette to his lips and inhales, letting the smoke fall from his mouth as it pleases. Alex doesn’t think Sebastian’s exhaling at all. 

He looks the same as Alex remembers. Black hoodie, dark purple t-shirt with some band on it that Alex has never heard of. His jeans are ripped and his Converse are dirty, like they’re the same pair he wore in school. 

Then, Sebastian opens his eyes, and Alex feels the world fall out from beneath his feet. 

“Can I help you?”

Sebastian doesn’t seem annoyed. He doesn’t seem happy, either, but Alex can’t remember the last time he saw Sebastian smile. Or at all, for that matter. Their town might barely have two dozen people in it, but that doesn’t mean they run into each other. Sebastian doesn’t leave his parents’ basement, from what Haley says, and Alex is either at the gym, the beach, or at home. 

It’s not until Sebastian puts the cigarette to his lips and raises an eyebrow that Alex realizes he was asked a question. 

“Um,” he stops, clears his throat, and then tries again. “I saw the smoke and came to make sure nothing was on fire.”

That’s a reasonable enough explanation, Alex thinks. Until Sebastian asks a follow-up question.

“Do you make it a habit of patrolling the town for fires in the middle of the night?”

Alex shoves his shaking hands in the pockets of his sweats. When did they start shaking?

“I couldn’t sleep,” he clarifies. “I thought a walk might help.”

Sebastian studies him with a precision that would scare Alex if he weren’t already nervous. And when did the idea of Sebastian make him nervous?

A memory tries its hardest to bubble up from the back of Alex’s mind, all youthful ignorance and a knowing look from Haley. Senior prom. Haley’s sequined light blue dress and Alex’s matching tux. It’s uncomfortable, too tailored, and lacking their school’s gridball team logo. On the other end of the gym, a black suit with a purple vest and hair that hasn’t changed in what seems like a decade. Brown eyes only sparkling because of the contraband liquor that spiked the punch, and Sam attempting to break dance during a slow song. 

“Is it helping?”

Definitely not.

“I barely made it ten feet before I saw the smoke, so,” Alex shrugs. Or, tries to, at least. “To be determined.”

Sebastian takes one last drag of his cigarette before ashing it out on one of the floorboards. 

“Well, good luck with that.”

It’s a dismissal. Alex knows that just like he knows that he definitely won’t be getting to sleep any time soon.

“Thanks,” he says. Then, he adds, “And good luck with… whatever this is.”

Sebastian doesn’t reply. Instead, he closes his eyes and leans his head back against the windowpane, knees pulled to his chest and his arms locked around his shins.

Outside, Alex makes it back to the stairs before he stops and breathes for what feels like the first time in hours. Days, even. 

He doesn’t finish his walk. Instead, he heads right back home and into his room, where he turns on his TV and grabs for the video game controller on top of his dresser. If he isn’t going to sleep, he might as well try to reach the next level of Journey of the Prairie King. And he definitely will not be letting those pesky childhood memories come back to the surface. 

It’s not the lingering scent of cigarette smoke or the presence of decades-old questions that make it difficult to think, but the sound of two words ricocheting through his mind. 

Code. Purple.

Chapter Text

Sebastian

Abigail is mid-rant when Sam finally gives up trying to pay attention. She doesn’t notice, though. Not until Sam pulls a rubber band ball out of thin air and starts throwing it at the wall. Just like that, Abigail restarts her tirade, and Sebastian lies back on Sam’s bed, pulling out his phone to see if one of his clients has emailed him back. 

They’ve been practicing for hours, and if Jodi wasn’t so nice it made Sebastian feel like shit, he would have gone outside for a smoke an hour ago. He guesses he has another thirty minutes or so in him before he makes up some excuse to head home. It’s not that he doesn’t love his friends, because he does. They’re just –

“And you!” Abigail whips around to face Sebastian so quickly that she almost smacks him in the face. “What is your problem?”

Sebastian rolls his eyes and drops his phone on Sam’s blue plaid duvet. 

He doesn’t have a problem – he has several. Too many jobs and not enough work-life balance. A mom who can’t seem to bring herself to actually see him, no matter how much he protests. A step-dad and sister who are more alike than he is to his mother. And a motorcycle in need of repairs that he keeps putting off for some reason. 

“I’m stuck here with you guys?” He offers, smiling. Abigail narrows her eyes as Sam laughs. 

“He was out late last night,” Sam offers unhelpfully. “Won’t tell me where he was or why his location was off.”

Hiding in the Community Center, hiding from everyone and dealing with wound up jocks who don’t know how to mind their business. 

“Does the word privacy mean nothing to you?”

“No,” Sam and Abigail say in unison. Abigail adds, “Just tell me you were being safe.”

And that is Sebastian’s cue to leave.

“On that note, I’m heading home,” he announces, standing up and shoving everything he came with – phone, keys, wallet, their unwavering love and friendship – into his pockets. “Call me when you figure out what our name is supposed to be.”

“The Jungle Cats!” Sam offers, beaming. Abigail flicks him in the temple, and they begin to bicker, but Sebastian isn’t listening. 

He ducks out of Sam’s room, tiptoes past the kitchen where Jodi is thankfully laser-focused on washing dishes and Vincent is coloring on the wall with a marker. The warm summer air hits him like a brick wall, and he groans, rolling up the sleeves of his hoodie rather than taking it off. Once he makes it to the saloon, Sebastian pulls out his pack of cigarettes and lights one, ignoring a pointed glare from Lewis as they pass each other. 

It’s not that Sebastian doesn’t love his friends. In fact, they might be the only two people he can truly stand in this Yoba-forsaken town. But Sam works part-time at Joja Mart and Abigail pretends to restock the shelves at Pierre’s, meaning neither of them understands just how taxing his job is. Freelancing sounds great in theory; making your own hours, choosing your own clients, etc. But the harsh reality of it is that you run the risk of over or under booking, choosing the wrong jobs, and, worst case scenario, biting off more than you can chew. 

As if sensing his thoughts, Sebastian’s phone pings with an email from one of his more frustrating clients: a mom-and-pop restaurant in Zuzu City who wants a professional-looking website on an intern’s budget. The owner, a gentleman in his fifties with no concept of technology, is frustrated with the simple user interface Sebastian submitted for approval earlier that afternoon. 

Typical. 

He’s in the middle of typing out a response when he almost trips up the steps leading toward the mountains. 

No, not the steps. 

Alex. 

Alex, whose hands have somehow ended up on Sebastian’s waist, keeping him from smashing into the cobblestones head first. 

“Are you okay?” Alex asks, staring up at Sebastian like he’s about to drag him to the clinic for a check-up. He doesn’t drop his hands from Sebastian’s waist. 

“I’m–” Sebastian steps to the side, forcing Alex’s hands back to his lap. “I’m fine, thank you.”

He tries to keep walking, still typing out his reply, when Alex stops him again. 

“You dropped this.”

When Sebastian turns to look at him, Alex is holding up the cigarette that had been in Sebastian’s mouth right before he almost died in the middle of town. 

“Thanks.”

Sebastian doesn’t know why he stops, takes the cigarette back, and then just stands there. Maybe it’s because Alex is also standing now, hands in the pockets of his jeans and looking far too handsome in the setting sun. 

Alex Mullner is one of the dozens of people Sebastian has made a concentrated effort to avoid at all costs. Not for any major reason, just a dozen or so little ones that stack neatly on top of each other until Sebastian has no choice but to keep his distance for his own safety, lest they begin toppling over. And he’s staring at Sebastian the same way he had the night before: head cocked to the side, eyebrows furrowed, and some kind of conversation begging to be had. 

“Are you sure you’re–”

“I’m fine, Alex.” 

Sebastian locks his phone and sticks it in his pocket, giving the cigarette in his mouth his full attention. Inhale until it hurts, hold for four seconds, exhale so slowly the smoke might never leave his lungs. 

Still, he doesn’t move to walk away. Why isn’t he walking away?

“How’s your summer been so far?”

The question drags Sebastian’s eyes from the ground to Alex’s face, and the breeze knocks a few locks of hair out of place. Alex doesn’t move to push them back. 

“Same as my Spring,” is all Sebastian says, and he hopes Alex gets the message. 

They’ve spoken more in the last twenty-four hours than they have since high school, and both interactions have managed to plunge Sebastian right back into that crowded, sweat-scented hallway, getting elbowed left and right as he watches Alex a few lockers down, chatting with people who never knew Sebastian existed. 

“And your Winter and Fall, I’m assuming?”

Sebastian takes another drag of his cigarette, then opens his mouth to reply, but Alex holds up his hands in surrender. 

“Message received,” he says, dropping down a step to put some distance between them. “Like I said, good luck with whatever it is you have going on.”

Then, Alex turns to walk away, and Sebastian has to bite down on his bottom lip to keep from saying something that might make him stay. The night before, he’d heard Alex the moment he pushed open the door to the Community Center and braced himself for whatever nonsense the universe had in store for him. Alex being nosy, or rude, or trying to explain that breaking and entering was illegal, even if Lewis left the door unlocked. Instead, he’d sat on the floor while Alex stood awkwardly in the doorway, lying about why he’d felt the need to interrupt Sebastian’s peace. 

Alex hadn’t been lying about needing sleep, though. Even in the dark, Sebastian could see the exhaustion written across Alex’s face, making his shoulders slouch and eyes almost glossy. Today, Alex looks much the same, his pace slow and almost sluggish as he heads back toward his house. 

Sebastian takes a last drag from his cigarette and ashes it on one of the cobblestones before continuing his journey home, rolling the filter between his fingers for something to do. 

Most people don’t ask Sebastian how he is. At most, Sam and Abigail will accuse him of leading a double life, and at the least, his mom will pretend to care about his latest job as she preps her tools for whatever upgrade the farmer has ordered that week. Demetrius doesn’t ask him things as much as he requests Sebastian’s help cleaning the occasional beaker. Maru, for her part, gives Sebastian the space he desperately wishes everyone else would. 

But Alex seems interested. Curious, almost, like he’d forgotten Sebastian existed until last night, and his interest has been piqued. That thought makes Sebastian frown as he pushes open the door to his house, keeping his movements quiet as he heads for his room, avoiding the sound of laughter floating down the hall from the kitchen. Inside his room, he tosses the cigarette filter in the trash and drops down in his desk chair, finally typing out a response to his client before checking his to-do list for the following day. 

It’s weird, Sebastian decides an hour or so later as he’s lying in his bed with his feet propped up against the wall. It’s weird that he’s run into Alex twice, and both times Alex has seemed keen to talk but unwilling to push the matter further. Almost like he’s scared of the kind of reaction Sebastian could have. 

Which, if Sebastian thinks back far enough, may not be a far-fetched assumption. The only reason he’d been left alone in school was because the first time anyone had tried to steal his lunch money, he punched them square in the face in front of half the student body. Demetrius had tried to ground him, but his mom had been more understanding, even patting him on the back after Demetrius left to go study some sort of fungus. There had been a handful of times after, when guys on the gridball team had tried to make Sebastian uncomfortable during gym class or tripping him during lunch. Eye contact while taking his pants off and spilling spaghetti right onto their laps had put an end to all of it. 

On a whim, and because he can’t sleep, Sebastian opens his phone and goes to the only form of social media he can remember Alex having. Alex hasn’t posted since the Flower Dance two years prior: a photo of himself and Haley decked out in blue and white, laughing with their arms around each other. There’s a Joja Cola in Alex’s free hand, and Haley’s is on his chest. 

My favorite part of the flower dance, the caption reads. And Haley commented, I’ll dance with you until our legs fall off.  

Sebastian locks his phone with a sigh and leans back against the pillows, staring up at the ceiling fan slowly spinning above him. He hates Pelican Town, Summer, and the fact that no one seems to understand the meaning of the word privacy. But he doesn’t hate that Alex asked if he was okay, and that thought keeps him up later than he’d like, bringing up memories he’s long forgotten about. 

Alex laughing with his friends on the gridball field, tossing the ball back and forth like he’d been born with one in his hand. The announcer chanting Alex’s name during a particularly close game as the buzzer sounds, and their school wins by three points, the energy in the stadium giving even Sebastian the smallest amount of school pride. And Alex eats up every minute of it, basking in being the pride and joy of an institution that has already forgotten him. 

Sometime between reminiscing and the ceiling fan’s rhythmic spinning, Sebastian falls asleep still in his jeans. He doesn’t dream, but it’s some of the best sleep he’s had since the season started. 

Chapter Text

Alex

Evelyn and George Mullner couldn’t be more different, and Alex supposes that’s why they work so well. Where his granny is all chocolate chip cookies and floral bouquets, Alex can count on one hand the number of times he’s seen his grandpa smile: three times because his wife had walked into a room, and once when Alex won his last high school gridball game. 

The pair is in the kitchen when Alex finally drags himself out of bed, still half-asleep and chasing whatever dream he’d been having. He’s barely made it to the coffee pot before his grandma is on him, far too awake for how early it is. 

“Breakfast is on the table,” she says, smacking his hand and turning him around to face George, hiding behind the newspaper. “Start eating, I'll bring everything over.”

“She’s in a mood today,” his grandpa leans in to whisper behind the newspaper when Alex sits down. “I blame it on you.”

“Me?” Alex frowns, reaching for the plate of pancakes. “What did I do–?”

“Have you decided what you want for your birthday?” 

Alex and George groan in unison, which earns both of them a smack on the back of the head as Evelyn sets down their coffees and joins them. 

“Shut it, both of you,” she laughs. Then, she turns back to Alex. “Birthdays are important. You only have so many.”

She’s been saying things like that a lot lately, and Alex hates it. He hates being reminded that one day he’s going to wake up alone in this house, in this town, and have to decide whether to keep it like they want or sell it and move on. Haley will be pissed, but she’ll get over it. Eventually, anyway. 

Alex takes his time covering his pancakes in maple syrup, trying and failing to come up with a way to say nothing without bringing the wrath of Evelyn down upon the house. He’s quiet for so long that George huffs and sets the paper down. 

“Ask her for a van,” he stage whispers. “That way we can both get out of here when she isn’t looking.”

The table erupts in laughter, and the topic of Alex’s birthday is dropped in favor of discussing the Luau the next day. 

“I’m bringing fresh leeks,” Evelyn announces. “Oh, and some of my cookies for the table, of course. George, honey, remind me–”

Alex tunes the conversation out, trying and failing to come up with a way to survive the Luau without Haley to talk to. What used to be his second favorite holiday has quickly become something akin to a torture session. The entire town will be on his beach, dropping food all over the sand, and so stressed about the Governor’s reaction to the soup that no one will actually be enjoying themselves. 

After breakfast, Alex heads down to the beach to work out on the sand before his shift at the ice cream stand. It’s part of why Summer is his favorite season; the sand offers resistance that makes his usual routine that much more effective. Sprints are his least favorite, so he gets through them first after stretching. Then, he moves on to burpees, squats, push-ups, and lunges. He manages to hold a plank for two minutes before collapsing, perfect timing as his phone alarm goes off while he’s face-down in the sand, trying to calm his breathing. 

Alex flips over onto his back, turns off the alarm, and lies there for a minute, trying and failing to find the motivation to take a quick dip in the ocean to wash most of the sand off. If he hurries, he can make it back home to shower and still arrive at the ice cream stand on time. Today, he makes it with two minutes to spare, not bad considering he stayed on the sand longer than usual, enjoying the sun on his face and the sound of the waves crashing onto the shore. 

The beach is peaceful. His grandma used to tell him stories of his mother playing there as a child and how she’d need to practically beg her to come home long after the sun had gone down. Alex is the same way, though he avoids the beach at night if he can. Darkness leaves room for thinking, thinking turns to remembering, and then no amount of walking can quiet his mind. 

“Have you given any more thought to my offer?” Haley asks later that afternoon as Alex is closing the ice cream stand for the afternoon.

“I have.” He shifts his phone from one shoulder to the other as he fiddles with the latch on the umbrella. “And, don’t worry, I still love you–”

“Don’t tell me this is the first birthday I won’t celebrate with you!” Haley has the nerve to sound scandalized, and Alex doesn’t try to stop rolling his eyes. 

“I’m pretty sure there were about eight birthdays I had before I met you,” he reminds her. 

“Those don’t count!” She sighs. “Fine, I guess I’ll have to brave the post office to send your gift.”

“Please don’t mail any men to my house,” Alex laughs. “I’m not sure grandpa could handle it.”

“George would keep him for himself if I sent the right one, and you know it.” In the background, Alex can hear Haley flopping down onto a bed. “Some of us are going out tonight to some bar, and I don’t feel like going. Keep an eye on my location and send an SOS if it gets too late?”

“Will do,” Alex locks up the stand. “Be safe.”

“Talk to you tomorrow!”

The line goes dead before Alex can remind her that tomorrow is the Luau, and Evelyn will have Alex working from sun up to sun down setting up tables, helping spoon out punch, and moving George out of the sun every few hours. It’s his turn to sigh as he pockets his phone and heads home, hands in his pockets and the breeze in his hair. He tries not to let his eyes drift toward the Community Center, but he can’t help it, drawn to the broken windows and the roof that’s missing more than a few shingles.

His feet try to carry him past his house and up the steps, but he refrains, spending a few minutes with Dusty in the setting sun before heading inside. Dinner is a quiet affair, with Evelyn getting up every few minutes to check the oven and double-check her Luau checklist. Alex waits until eleven to check Haley’s location – still at the bar – before sending her a text.

Alex: Hey can you call me? My car broke down just outside of the city and I need someone to sit with me while I wait for a tow

A few minutes pass before he gets a reply.

Hales: you’re a lifesaver

Hales: i’ll text you when i get home

He settles himself in bed and tries not to think about the fact that home is her friend’s apartment and not the house down the street within walking distance. Alex also tries not to think about the fact that she won’t be on the beach in the morning, laughing with Emily and trying to force Alex to dance. And then there’s the memory of Sebastian taking the cigarette out of his hands, staring down at him like he couldn’t believe Alex was real. 

In the end, he hardly sleeps, and by the time Evelyn knocks on his door at six in the morning, Alex has been awake for a few hours. He showers, shaves, and pulls on a t-shirt and swim trunks. George and Evelyn are waiting for him, coolers packed and a gridball on George’s lap. Set up takes longer than he’d have liked, the process slowed by Evelyn and Lewis bickering over table cloths and food placement. Alex doesn’t have a moment to breathe until the Luau is well underway, his hands scooping the punch without much input from his consciousness. 

Until Evelyn yanks the ladle out of his hand. 

“He does look rather lonely, doesn’t he?” She asks, nodding her head in the direction of the pier. The pier at the end of which sits Sebastian, alone and with his feet dangling in the water, his Converse on the dock beside him. 

“He seems fine,” Alex replies, trying to reclaim the ladle. Evelyn smacks his hand away and then begins filling a cup. It’s not until she fills the second that he realizes her intentions. “Granny, why–?”

“You’ve been staring since he got here,” she narrows her eyes, and hands him the two cups. “Now go.”

Alex supposes he has been staring since Sebastian arrived, and heat floods his cheeks at the acknowledgement of such a fact. But, it’s either that or watch the farmer spin Harvey around the dance floor and gloat over adding the one ingredient that impressed the governor for four years in a row. He could have snuck away to call Haley, or skipped the Luau altogether, too. Except for the fact that Sebastian wore a t-shirt today, black as usual, with a low V-neck that shows off his tattoos. 

Tattoos that Alex had completely forgotten about until Sebastian showed up a few steps behind the rest of his family, frowning. 

“Don’t make me repeat myself,” Evelyn grumbles, nodding in Sebastian’s direction and lifting the glasses of punch higher. 

Rationally, he knows she’s only doing this because Haley isn’t here, and Haley is Alex’s only friend. He has Emily by proxy, sure, but without Haley forcing them together, the conversation is stilted and over before it’s really begun. Irrationally, he wonders if Evelyn somehow saw them run into each other twice in a twenty-four-hour period and have the most awkward conversations two people from the same small town could have. 

Alex takes the cups out of her hand and inhales, readying himself for the rejection that’s headed his way. At no point in the last sixteen years has Alex, or Sebastian, for that matter, approached the other with Luau punch and an attempt at conversation. In fact, Alex is fairly certain he and Sebastian have had a total of five conversations over the last decade and a half, two of which occurred this past week. The room left for error is high enough that this is one game Alex wishes he could fake a stomach ache to avoid. 

If Sebastian hears him approach, he doesn’t let on. He doesn’t seem shocked when Alex sits not-so-gracefully beside him, though, so that must be a good sign. However, a cigarette is procured before Alex can offer up the drink. They sit in a silence that stretches long enough for Alex to acclimate himself to the tension brewing to his left. Once his breath matches the beat of the waves, he attempts contact. 

“My granny wanted me to–”

“Thanks.”

Sebastian takes a drag of his cigarette and doesn’t move to take the cup being offered. Alex tries again. 

“It’s spiked, if that helps.”

It’s not, and the snort that Sebastian offers in lieu of a response says as much. But he takes the cup anyway, setting it beside his Converse. 

More silence. So much silence that Alex slips out of his flip-flops and dangles his feet in the water for something else to focus on. 

“You can just say it, you know.”

Another drag, and Sebastian doesn’t turn to look at Alex. At least he’s talking. 

“Say what?”

He rolls his eyes, but Alex is only half paying attention, his eyes too busy following the trail of black shaded flowers down his arm to his wrist, where they end in a ring of thorns. For a moment, Alex almost wishes he’d paid attention every time Evelyn tried to teach him about flowers. He’d be able to pick out more than hosta leaves and what he thinks might be a water lily. 

“Whatever it is that’s had you moping around the buffet all day,” Sebastian says. He ashes out his cigarette on the pier and sets the filter down beside the cup, then adds, “You looked miserable.”

It hadn’t occurred to Alex that others might have noticed. That Sebastian might have noticed. He leans back on his hands, watching as the sun begins to dip below the horizon line to keep from looking at Sebastian again. 

“I much prefer the beach when it’s quiet,” he hears himself say. “Early in the morning, before everyone has woken up. It’s peaceful. When everyone is here, it feels like my favorite place is being invaded.”

Sebastian hums, and in his periphery, Alex can see the movement of Sebastian reaching up to run a hand through his hair. 

“I’m more of a mountain man myself,” he says, pausing to take a sip of the punch. Alex doesn’t know why his heart speeds up at that fact, just that it does. “I do love the beach in the rain, though.”

That makes Alex pause. 

“The rain?”

Sebastian shrugs, and Alex does turn to face him then. He’s looking back, the sun casting a warm orange and pink glow across his cheek. 

Pretty, Alex thinks, and his cheeks flush because he can’t go around thinking Sebastian is pretty. Though it’s a fitting adjective for the way he looks right then, standing out against the vibrant summer backdrop in shades of black and purple. Purple nail polish, to be more specific. 

“The ocean looks alright now,” Sebastian explains. “But, you should see it as a storm is rolling in. There’s something beautiful about the way the waves crash against the pier and how lightning–”

He doesn’t get to finish that sentence because someone shouts his name from the beach. When they turn to see who it is, it’s Robin, waving her hand impatiently. 

“The lightning–?” Alex tries, hoping Sebastian will indulge him. Instead, Sebastian knocks back the last of his punch and hands Alex his empty cup. 

“Looks better over the water,” Sebastian finishes, and Alex knows that isn’t what he’d been about to say. Somewhere between Robin calling his name and their gazes meeting again, Sebastian had lost his nerve. “Thanks, by the way. I’ll see you around.”

He’s on his feet and walking back toward the beach before Alex can come up with a reason for him to stay, his shoes in his hands and the filter of his cigarette still on the dock. Alex pockets it as he stands, not bothering to let his feet dry before heading to where Evelyn is already beginning to break down one of the tables with help from Gus and Jodi. 

“Can you be a dear and take George home?” Evelyn asks as he approaches. “We won’t be long, the farmer said he’d stay and help.”

Alex doesn’t argue with her. Instead, he dutifully sets about half-dragging his grandpa through the sand and onto the path back to town, listening as George rants about the governor for their entire walk home. It’s the same laundry list of complaints every year: who does he think he is, visiting our town and judging our soup? Why does Lewis pretend he’s ever done anything for this town? When will Evelyn stop running herself ragged setting up for these events if she isn’t going to get recognized for it?

He nods along as they walk, humming and agreeing when the breaks in George’s sentences call for it. At home, he sets George up in front of the television to watch the news while Alex showers. Afterward, they’ll split a piece of chocolate cake before Alex gets him into bed. By the time Evelyn comes home, Alex is washing the dishes, and she lifts up on her tiptoes to plant a kiss on his cheek before heading to bed herself, the coolers waiting for Alex by the door. 

It’s nearly ten by the time Alex gets into bed. He replies to all of Haley’s texts one by one, congratulating her for surviving the post office and telling her that the Luau was no fun without her. She says next year they’ll both be in Zuzu City, far away from the whole thing. 

Hales: who wants to eat soup at the beach anyway?

Alex tries to picture a future away from Pelican Town, the Luau, and people who blindly follow small-town traditions without thinking them through. Once, it’d been the only thing he wanted. Well, that and a spot on a professional gridball team. But tryouts passed this Spring without him remembering, and he’s gotten out of shape enough that the prospect of not making a fool of himself next year is nearly zero. He sets a reminder on his phone for the next day to restructure his workout and then turns off the light, keen on actually getting some sleep. 

If he dreams about riotous waves lit up by purple streaks of lightning, it’s because the punch was spiked.

Chapter Text

Sebastian

Two hours. That’s how long Sebastian has been working on his latest project, starting and restarting so many times he’s debating the merits of backing out of this contract and dealing with the consequences. Less money in his savings, an unsatisfied customer, and more free time than he’s comfortable having. When he’s busy, it’s easier to skip band practices in which music doesn’t get played and dinners with his family that make him feel like ants are crawling beneath his skin. 

He would say being busier also leaves less time for thinking, but thinking is what’s led him to this moment: highlighting several dozen lines of code and hitting delete. Again.

Sebastian groans and leans back in his desk chair, eyes falling to the pack of cigarettes beside a stack of comics he’s let sit for so long they’ve begun to collect dust. His phone vibrates, but he ignores it, closing his eyes and willing the urge for a smoke to go away. But, instead of nothing but black, he sees Alex’s face, eyebrows furrowed over the greenest eyes Sebastian has ever seen. Did he know Alex had green eyes before yesterday?

Green eyes and a pout that pulled a secret right out of Sebastian’s mouth before he could stop it. He would have said anything to keep Alex from looking at him like that – like he has more going on in his head than gridball stats and which workout routine he’s going to follow that day. The punch had been a nice gesture. Too nice. So nice that Sebastian nearly let himself relax enough to take a sip and listen to Alex ramble about the town throwing a party at his happy place. Maybe, if his mom hadn’t chosen the best worst moment to interrupt them, Sebastian would have told Alex that he likes storms because it’s the only time the world is louder than his mind, and the waves look the same way he feels all the time. 

His phone vibrates again, and Sebastian decides he deserves a cigarette after the morning he’s had, reward system be damned. 

No one stops him when he heads up the stairs and sneaks past Lewis talking to his mom at the counter in her shop. Outside, Sebastian banks a left and heads toward the lake, breathing in deeply and thanking Yoba that the clouds have come in, blocking out the sun that had made life seem simpler. He pauses for a moment, lights his cigarette, and then walks the rest of the way to his spot by the bridge. 

A storm is brewing; he can feel it in the air, pressure mounting as cool air comes down off the mountains, rolling right over top of a particularly hot summer day. It’ll be raining by sundown, Sebastian guesses as he leans against a pine tree and tries to clear his mind. If he finishes his work early, he’ll be able to make it to the beach in time to watch the first few bolts of lightning streak across the sky. 

“That bad, huh?”

It’s Sam, approaching at a leisurely pace with his hands in his pockets and a smirk on his face. 

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” Sebastian says, sliding down the trunk until his ass hits the dirt. Sam wastes no time in joining him, reaching for the cigarette with two fingers, scissoring them impatiently. 

“Right,” Sam nods and takes a drag before handing the cigarette back. “And you and Alex have cute little chats on the pier at every Luau.”

“Do you know what that was about?” Sebastian asks, both happy and displeased that Sam had noticed. His mom hadn’t said a thing about it, and neither had Maru or Demetrius. 

Sam shrugs. 

“Haley’s gone for the summer,” he says, like that answers all the questions that have been building up in Sebastian’s head since that first run-in at the Community Center. When Sebastian says nothing, Sam continues, “She’s one of the four people he talks to. He’s probably lonely.”

“Who are the other three?”

“Evelyn,” Sam holds up a finger as he names the rest. “Her grumpy ass husband, and Emily, though I’m not sure Emily’s a friend as much as she is just Haley’s sister.”

Sebastian tries to picture a summer without Sam or Abigail. Is he a shit friend if his first instinct is to feel… relieved?

Then again, he hasn’t told them that he’s been saving up to leave for months. A few more freelance jobs and he’ll feel comfortable spending a weekend in Zuzu City looking for apartments. Nothing permanent, in case he hates it and wants to go somewhere else, but at least a place that’s just his with locks, blinds, and an address that not everyone will have. 

“Since when do you pay so much attention to Alex?” The question comes out harsher than Sebastian anticipates. 

“Yes, since when do I pay attention to someone who’s lived down the street from me for most of my life?” Sam’s raised eyebrow and laugh make Sebastian’s shoulders sag. “He seems nice.”

Of course, Alex Mullner seems nice. He didn’t get voted Most Likely To Succeed in their last year of high school for being a total jerk. A jock, sure, but Alex had never been around when the rest of his team turned their attention to kids like Sebastian and Sam. Prom had been a nightmare, to say the least. 

But their conversation at the pier had been… Well, damn it, it had been nice. Easy, once Sebastian got used to the feeling of Alex’s gaze on his profile and his presence taking up most of the dock as if he belonged there, and it was Sebastian who’d been intruding. 

“Tomorrow is his birthday.”

Sebastian inhales until the cigarette burns to the filter and then ashes it in the dirt. He holds his breath until it starts to burn, praying that Sam lets the idea of Alex’s birthday drop. When he exhales, though, he catches Sam’s gaze and knows that won’t be the case. 

“How do you know that?” Sebastian asks, part of him melting as Sam sits up straighter, beaming. 

“Do I need to repeat the part where we’ve known him for almost two decades?” Sam scoots a little bit closer. “You should get him something.”

Sebastian has never been one for gift-giving. In fact, just the thought of having to put effort into buying something a person might like for an occasion has always made him slightly nauseous, even on Winter Star. Sam of all people should know.

“Is this you trying to remind me about your birthday?”

A birthday which is conveniently only a few days after Alex’s.

“I gave up on getting more than a hug from you years ago,” Sam laughs. “I think it would be–”

“If I hear the word nice one more time–”

“–I’m going to assault you.” Sam’s threat came with a not-so-gentle smack to Sebastian’s left bicep. “Are you done being difficult?”

Sebastian wishes he’d brought the pack outside with him. 

“Remember in school at that one party when Abigail made us play Fuck, Marry, Kill?”

He snorts, remembering the night, if only in a blur of color, Haley’s horrendous perfume, and Abigail being a drunken menace. 

“I remember I said I’d kill you,” Sebastian offers unhelpfully. Sam rolls his eyes. 

“You also said something about fucking Alex,” Sam says, wiggling his eyebrows and, fortunately, leaving out the part where Sebastian said he’d marry Penny just to get under Sam’s skin. 

“So?”

“So, do it.” Sam kicks out his feet and leans back against a fence, crossing his arms over his chest. “And stop sulking around the lake. It’s getting to the point where I feel like I should set up a camera to make sure you don’t jump.”

Sebastian wasn’t sulking; he was brooding, but he didn’t blame Sam for not knowing the difference. He could count on one hand the number of times he’d seen Sam be anything more than serious, and most of them came after late nights at the saloon and a few too many drinks. 

“I didn’t actually mean it,” Sebastian argues, even though they both know that’s a lie. “Besides, wouldn’t he also need to be, I don’t know, interested?”

In school, Sebastian had enjoyed the freedom of being able to let his imagination run wild. As a teenage boy figuring out his sexuality, a tall, muscular jock had been the perfect springboard for any one of his budding fantasies. Being pressed against a locker? Hot. Bent over a bench in the locker room? Sign Sebastian up. A quickie beneath the bleachers? He’d meet Alex there.

But, there was a difference between being sixteen and curious and being twenty-six and lacking the rose colored glasses that came with being young. Not to mention the fact that Alex was definitely into women, specifically Haley. Had been for as long as Sebastian could remember. 

“You know he and the farmer…” Sam trailed off and waited for understanding to make Sebastian’s body tense. “Uh-huh. Ditched him for Harvey of all people. Can you imagine?”

Sebastian couldn’t imagine it. If anything his mind rejected it completely, refusing to believe that someone like the farmer could have someone as good looking and – damn it – nice as Alex and throw it away for a man obsessed with pickles and washing his hands. 

“Who told you this?”

Sam lets out a dramatic moan as he throws himself on the ground, smacking an apathetic fist on the ground. 

“Why do I have to be best friends with a hermit?” Sam asks the grass. “Why can’t I have a friend who leaves his house and talks to people?”

“Karmic debts, I think,” Sebastian rolls his eyes and stands, wiping dirt from his jeans. “This was enlightening, but I think I’m going to get back to work now.”

It takes Sam several seconds to pull himself to his feet and catch up.

“Just think about it,” Sam says, feigning innocence while looking Sebastian straight in the eye, almost like a challenge. “You guys looked–”

He didn’t get a chance to finish the sentence because Sebastian lunged for him and Sam ducked out of the way before sprinting back toward town with a victorious whoop. A whoop that would have stung Sebastian’s pride less if he didn’t go back inside and spend the rest of the night doing just that: thinking. 

Sebastian thinks so much that he hardly sleeps, and by the time the sun rises and the clouds are gone, he’s just exhausted enough to get out of bed and start rooting around the house for something to give him, eventually landing on an old field snack in the back of a kitchen cabinet. Alex used to eat them before practice, if Sebastian remembers right, and a protein bar is better than nothing. 

So, with a protein bar in one hand and his self-respect in the other, Sebastian sets off toward town a little after eight. The sun has just risen above the horizon by the time Sebastian reaches the Mullners’ house, golden rays of light beaming on their front door as if to taunt him. 

You can do this, Sebastian tells himself as he stares at the chipped paint on the wood. He glances at the mailbox and debates just sticking the field snack in there, but doesn’t get a chance to make a decision before the door opens and Evelyn is staring at him, smiling. Her eyes drop to the snack in Sebastian’s hand, and she tilts her head to the side. 

“I’m so sorry,” she says sweetly, though she doesn’t sound very apologetic. “Alex isn’t here.”

Evelyn must see the unnecessary mix of panic and confusion bubbling up inside him written clearly across his face because she laughs. It’s an adoring grandmotherly laugh, and Sebastian waits to feel offended and only grows more restless when that feeling doesn’t come. 

“He’s at the beach by now, I’d say,” she informs him. “Do you want me to let him know you stopped by?”

“No!” Sebastian winces as he hears how loudly he’s just yelled in this poor old woman’s face. “No, I– that’s okay, I’ll go find him. Thanks.”

He tries to tell himself her smile isn’t getting broader. 

“Have a good day, Sebastian,” Evelyn says before easing the door shut and leaving Sebastian to deal with a choice. 

Option One: go back home and pray Evelyn says nothing. 

Option Two: go to the beach and risk making a fool of himself. 

If Sam didn’t somehow manage to make this entire situation worse, Sebastian would choose the former. However, knowing that the sooner he gets this gift-giving nonsense over with, the more likely Sam will be to let the whole dumb idea drop, Sebastian turns in the direction of the beach and walks. 

The rest of the town is still asleep at this hour, leaving Sebastian with little more than the early morning breeze in the trees and his tired, muddled thoughts. 

So, do it, Sam had said, like there was a real possibility that Alex would be interested in a guy like Sebastian. Or that Sebastian would be interested in a man like Alex. Because high school daydreams aside, Sebastian’s taste in men has evolved. He likes someone with a bit of class, who can pick out a good restaurant and knows the difference between sushi and sashimi. Rippling muscles and broad shoulders just aren’t enough anymore. 

Well, they aren’t enough right up until the moment Sebastian gets to the beach and his eyes land on a very shirtless Alex doing a plank in the sand, the tendons in his back rigid as he rests there with his eyes closed and sweat dripping down his temples. Even his ass is tense, looking far too good in a pair of green athletic shorts that leave absolutely nothing to the imagination. 

Alex must feel him staring, because he turns his head ever so slightly and opens his eyes. 

“Can I help you?”

His voice is neutral, kind, even, unaffected by the tension the rest of his body is under and lacking the snark Sebastian had given with that same question.

“It’s your birthday today.”

They stare at each other, Alex holding his plank and Sebastian feeling like he could die right there from embarrassment. The moment stretches, neither of them talking as Sebastian’s face grows hot. 

“It is,” Alex agrees. The one eye that Sebastian can see looks him over from head to toe, cataloging everything with impressive precision. “Give me a minute?”

That is how Sebastian ends up waiting, sand managing to climb inside his shoes as he admires the way that Alex can make a painfully impossible exercise appear easy. He’d barely been able to manage the forty-five seconds required to pass gym in school. Slowly, Alex lowers himself to the ground, where he takes several deep breaths before shifting to his knees. 

“I made it two and a half minutes,” Alex says to himself as he taps at his phone screen.

“Is that a lot?” Sebastian doesn’t know the first thing about how long one should be able to hold a plank. Alex shrugs as he brushes sand off his forearms. 

“My best is three and a half, but I got lazy over the winter.”

Three and a half minutes? Alex must see the sympathy stress showing on Sebastian’s face because he laughs. 

“So, you said something about my birthday?”

Sebastian nods as he clears his throat, thankful for the change in topic but unsure how his voice might sound. A mix of reawakened lust and awe, most likely. 

“Yeah, I– I thought you might like this.” Normal, thank Yoba. Sebastian holds out the field snack almost awkwardly, heat crawling up his neck as Alex raises an eyebrow. “You used to eat them a lot, and–”

“And you had a spare one in the back of a cabinet?” Alex pulls himself to his feet and Sebastian can do nothing but blink as he closes the distance between them, taking the package out of Sebastian’s hand. “Nuts are a good source of protein, you know.”

Sebastian knows that he says something because he can feel his mouth moving, but he can’t hear it over the sight of Alex opening the wrapper and taking a bite. He keeps his eyes focused on Sebastian’s face, searching for something. 

“Why are you trying to go for the world’s longest plank, anyway?” He can hear that. “Is lifting the most weight not enough?”

Alex’s eyebrows furrow, and Sebastian knows he’s messed up somehow. 

“Strength isn’t everything,” he says, cocking his head to the side and chewing slower, thinking. “It’ll take more than lifting a dumbbell to impress scouts in the Spring.”

“Scouts?” The word is out of Sebastian’s mouth, and then it clicks. “For gridball, you mean?”

Alex takes his time neatly folding the wrapper before tucking it into the pocket of his shorts. Even without the stairs, their height difference is stark, leaving Sebastian eye-level with Alex’s chin. He has to tilt his head back slightly to meet Alex’s gaze, and all the reasons why tall, broad, and muscular are his favorite aesthetic traits come rushing to the forefront of his mind. 

“For the Tunnellers, yeah.” Alex licks his bottom lip, and Sebastian can’t help but track the movement. He justifies it by telling himself he can’t possibly look anywhere else when they’re standing like this. “My grandparents are doing better, so I figure it’s time to give it my best shot.”

Sebastian remembers a younger Alex with a full ride to Zuzu University and a spot on their gridball team before one of them got sick. George, maybe, but Sebastian doesn’t remember. He can’t remember anything other than how it had felt to watch Alex in class, legs stretched out beneath his desk and a pen between his lips as he pretended to listen to history lectures. 

“A three and a half minute plank sounds like a good start,” Sebastian says because they’re the only words he can conjure up. Alex laughs again, softly, and then turns to reach for his phone and t-shirt. 

“Thank you for the field snack,” Alex says, the shirt draped over his shoulder and a pair of flip-flops in his hands. “I’ve got to run, though. I want to get a mile or two in before I open the ice cream shop.”

Swallowing past the lump in his throat, Sebastian nods and watches slack-jawed as Alex walks past him back toward town. The muscles in his back move with each step he takes, and Sebastian finds himself wondering why people invented shirts to begin with. 

“Happy birthday!” He calls out as Alex tosses his flip-flops onto the path at the edge of the beach and steps into them. Alex turns around and smiles. 

“Thanks!” He yells back. “See you around?”

Sebastian gives him a thumbs up because this view is even better. Without Alex’s bare chest and neck taking up most of his line of sight, it’s easy to run his eyes over the full length of Alex’s body. Tanned, toned, and big. Sebastian could climb him like a tree. 

He wants to climb Alex like a tree. And Sam is definitely going to be hearing about how bad of an idea this is at their next band practice.

Chapter Text

Alex

“Are you sure it isn’t broken?”

Alex tries not to roll his eyes as he leans back in the hospital bed in the clinic, feeling like a total fool as Harvey looks over his ankle. Evelyn has been pacing at the foot of the bed since she forced Alex to get it checked. It was his fault for coming home and not bothering to hide the way he favored his right ankle over the left. If he’d just gritted his teeth and walked normally past the kitchen, he wouldn’t be here right now.

“It’s just a sprain,” Harvey says for the seventh time, poking at a spot that momentarily makes Alex see white. “I’ll wrap it, and he’ll be good as new in a few days. No running, though, if you can help it.”

That’s easy for Harvey to say. For someone who’s the town doctor, he sure spends more of his time following the farmer around like a lovesick puppy than following his own advice to exercise and eat healthy. Alex would bet his miniscule savings account that he and the farmer ate nothing but pepper poppers and plum pudding with the occasional chocolate chip cookie. Damn Evelyn for giving up her recipe before the farmer showed his true colors. 

“Hear that, sweetie?” Evelyn asks, leveling Alex with the kind of look that tells him she knows he’s being rude, even if it’s only inside his head. “Take it easy.”

He does roll his eyes then, keeping his gaze focused on a poster detailing the proper handwashing procedure. It’s been more than a year and he still can’t shake the feeling that Harvey stole something from him. Not the farmer, per se, but the chance at having something that would make life in this shit little town bearable. A person to laugh with, open up to – a man who he could love and no one in town could say anything about it because they all fawned after him like the world’s worst fan club. 

Harvey works quickly, wrapping Alex’s ankle in athletic wrap and making light conversation with Evelyn. Alex wonders if he knows about Alex and the nights he’d spent in the bed Harvey no doubt shares with the farmer now. If Harvey realizes that the coffee pot in the kitchen was a gift from his grandmother and that George used to say he liked seeing Alex happy every time Alex came home. 

The crutches Evelyn requests are the definition of unnecessary, but Harvey indulges her, offering Alex a look that tries to say, she won’t leave until I give these to you, but all Alex sees is betrayal. Betrayal and –

“Blaming him won’t make you feel any better,” Evelyn says the moment they step outside of the clinic. Alex doesn’t say anything, but he makes a show of using the crutches and starting to hobble his way home. She keeps up with him, surprisingly agile for someone her age. “If you love something–”

“Not today, Granny, please,” Alex sighs, counting the number of little hops until he reaches the front door of their house. “I’m not in the mood.”

She hums, then goes silent, and Alex thinks she might be giving him a break for once. They don’t speak for the rest of the short walk home, and she opens the door for him, revealing George sitting in the entryway waiting, worry written clear across his face. For a moment, Alex feels almost guilty. 

“Everything okay?”

“Just a sprain,” Evelyn responds before Alex has a chance to speak. “He’ll be fine as long as he rests up a bit.”

George nods, eyeing the crutches. Alex mouths, “She made me,” and his eyes light up. Traitor. 

Evelyn announces that she’s going to call Marnie and tell her that Alex won’t be working the ice cream stand today, ripping away the last good reason Alex has for leaving the house while in this condition. She asks what he wants for lunch, but he doesn’t answer, making a beeline for his room. He hopes she can hear him turn the lock on his door. 

Alone, Alex tosses the crutches onto the floor and walks gingerly to his bed, where he flops on top of the duvet and grabs his phone. He sends a picture to Haley. 

Alex: My summer just got ten times worse

She calls rather than send a text back. 

“Are you okay?” 

In the background, Alex can hear the sounds of Zuzu City bustling back and forth, cars honking and people yelling for cabs. He imagines her at some outdoor café enjoying a coffee with some guy she met at a party who might be her ticket out of Pelican Town. The thought doesn’t make him feel better. 

“I’m fine,” he says, making himself comfortable. “I tripped over something while jogging. Harvey says–”

“And what was so important you were thinking about that rather than look where you were going?” Haley asks, cutting him off and steamrolling right over the mention of Harvey’s existence. 

Sometimes, Alex almost wishes he could love Haley. Life would be a million times simpler. 

“Nothing,” he tries first, knowing that his efforts will be futile. The scoff he receives in response tells him as much, and he takes a deep breath before adding, “I was thinking about… something.”

Haley is silent for a moment, and Alex can feel her mind working overtime to figure out what exactly might have left him so distracted. He’s preparing himself to tell her when she asks, “So, what’s his name?”

He does his breathing exercise – in for four seconds, hold for seven, out for eight – and then goes for it, deciding that the worst has already happened. 

“Sebastian.”

The sound of general city hustle and bustle is replaced by a loud crash, glass and metal smashing to a sidewalk. He gives Haley a minute to apologize to whoever’s Friday she’s just ruined. 

“Sebastian?” She repeats but doesn’t give Alex time to confirm she heard him correctly. “Lives in his mom’s basement, is generally anti-social, fueled a majority of your teenage fantasies? That Sebastian?”

“Yep,” Alex replies, popping the ‘p’ so that Haley can hear just how helpless this entire situation has become. 

“How long have you been hiding this from me?”

“A week?” Alex uses his free hand to scratch the back of his neck and then pull at the collar of his t-shirt, uncomfortable with the intensity of Haley’s gaze even if he can’t see it. “Less, really. I don’t know. It’s nothing, obviously, he can barely stand to be near me for more than five minutes.”

Haley groans, and he can picture her smacking a closed fist against her forehead. 

“I leave for one measly summer, and you go and get yourself involved with the whole reason we have a color coding system?” Again, she doesn’t wait for Alex to confirm or deny. “Please tell me you’ve done more than ogle at him?”

“I sprained my ankle overthinking the situation?” Alex offers up unhelpfully. “I panicked, okay? He walked all the way to the beach to give me a birthday present–”

“He did what?” It’s more of an exclamation than a question. “Alex, why are you on the phone with me and not naked on his couch?”

Alex sighs and chews on an imaginary hangnail. He wants to be naked on Sebastian’s couch. Or his bed. Or the ground, to be honest. Against a tree. It’s all he’s thought about all morning, since he opened his eyes and saw Sebastian standing awkwardly on the beach with a field snack in his hand, skin flushed and eyes looking everywhere except at Alex’s face. 

“Do we need to have the same conversation we did Junior Year?” He asks. Haley scoffs. 

“Clearly,” she grumbles. “Just because he took Abigail to prom doesn’t mean–”

“They were dancing–”

“You dance with me all the time!” Haley pauses to order something, either another coffee or a green tea shot. Alex can’t really hear over the sound of his heart racing. “We’ve made out, Alex! Twice!”

“Please don’t remind me.”

“I swear, if I have to come back early–”

“No!” He winces, shooting a glance at the door and praying his grandma hadn’t heard him over the sound of the TV in the living room. When several seconds pass and she doesn’t knock on his door, Alex continues. “Just– just tell me what I’m supposed to do.”

That’s how Alex ends up standing next to Dusty’s pen, the crutches propped up against the fence beside him, his left foot lifted off the ground as if he’s in any real pain. Dusty, for his part, is asleep, ignorant to the way Alex’s heartbeat only increases the longer he stands there, repeating something his mom used to say. 

“A birthday wish always comes true.”

It’s still his birthday, anyway. And his gift from Haley arrived shortly after they got off the phone – an appropriately themed birthday cake keychain, with purple icing, and the words make a wish printed across it. In her card, she’d told him to wish for a man to hook up with so he wouldn’t spend the rest of the summer lying in bed waiting for her to come back home. 

But hooking up with Sebastian? It would be impossible. Not because Alex doesn’t want to, but because he knows that one time wouldn’t be enough. And it’s better, smarter, to avoid temptation. It had worked in school, and for the last several years. Theoretically, it could keep working now. So why is he doing this exactly?

“Shit! Are you okay?”

Alex forces himself to turn toward the sound of Sebastian’s voice slowly, like he can wait to get his eyes on him again.

“Yeah.” He hopes the word comes out smoothly. “Just a sprain.”

Sebastian eyes the crutches, frowning, and Alex can’t help the flush that spreads up his neck and across his cheeks. He’d told Haley this would be a horrible idea. Pretending to be more injured than he was to gain sympathy wouldn’t work with someone like Sebastian. He had enough going on from the feel of things. The last thing he needed was an injured acquaintance asking for help.

“Granny insisted,” Alex explains, dropping his foot to the ground and putting as much weight on it as he can stand. “And who am I to argue with her?”

Sebastian raises his eyes to Alex’s face, studying him carefully, looking for something. He must not find it because he eventually nods and stands up a bit straighter. 

“I take it you didn’t get those miles in then?” Sebastian asks, smiling. Not a full smile like the kind Alex watched him give Sam or Abigail a thousand times, but something softer, almost gentle. Alex could settle for gentle. 

“Too much to ask for on my birthday, apparently.” 

Alex forces a laugh out, which Sebastian seems to accept, returning it with a chuckle of his own. They stand there for a moment like that, looking each other over, Alex taking in the tattoos he can see better head-on. Definitely water lilies. He doesn’t know why he likes them so much. Then, Sebastian clears his throat and reaches a hand to scratch at the back of his neck, dropping his gaze to the ground.

“Speaking of your birthday,” he says, pausing to chew on his bottom lip. “I realize that a protein bar probably wasn’t the most impressive gift.”

The thought that Alex should tell him he’d only been joking about Sebastian finding it in the back of a cabinet crosses his mind, but he doesn’t. Instead, he waits to see what Sebastian will say next, gripping the top of the fence so tightly behind his back he’s surprised it doesn’t break.

“I’m heading to the saloon to meet up with Sam and Abigail,” Sebastian continues. His eyes meet Alex’s again, false confidence leaving too much room for Alex to imagine that Sebastian might be nervous. For some reason, that only makes him grip the fence harder. “You should come with us. I could buy you a drink?”

I don’t drink. 

The words fly to the tip of Alex’s tongue, but he bites them back, not wanting to risk losing whatever might be happening right now. Heat is flooding his cheeks, and his palms are sweaty enough that they slip from the fence and fall to his side. 

“Would they mind?”

“Absolutely not,” Sebastian says all too quickly. “In fact, I think you might make Sam’s night. He’s been dying to have someone to talk gridball with.”

Alex shoots a glance at the window into the kitchen and sees Evelyn with her back to him, washing dishes. He grabs the crutches and holds them with one hand, tilting his head in the direction of the saloon, heart racing.

“Lead the way.”

If anyone thinks it’s strange to see Alex and Sebastian walk inside together, they don’t show it. Marnie stops him to make sure his ankle is alright, smiling and patting him on the back when he explains the reason for the unnecessary crutches. Shane’s eyes widen for the briefest of moments before narrowing, watching Alex over the rim of his pint as he follows Sebastian to the pool table. He’s trying to remember the last time he had a conversation with Shane when Sam is bounding through the air toward him, excited, hand outstretched. 

“Happy birthday, Alex!” Sam says, throwing Alex off when, instead of taking Alex’s hand and shaking it, he throws an arm around Alex’s shoulder and then turns to face Sebastian. “See? I told you!”

Alex doesn’t know what Sam told Sebastian, but the way Sebastian’s cheeks turn red does things to Alex’s train of thought that could spell disaster if he doesn’t play his cards right. Abigail doesn’t get up from her spot on the couch, but she does offer Alex a smile. When Sam drops his arm, Alex takes a half-step to the side, not realizing until it’s too late that the movement will move him closer to Sebastian. Warmth radiates off him in waves, and Alex can smell the cigarette smoke on his shirt. 

“First round is on me,” Sam announces, looping an arm over Sebastian’s and tugging him toward the bar. “Alex, what would you like?”

“Surprise me,” he says, because the idea of making them wait while he fumbles around for a real answer seems like torture. Sam and Sebastian head off, and Alex turns his attention back to Abigail, who pats the spot on the couch next to her.

“He’ll only be like that for the next ten minutes,” she tells him as he sits down. “Once Sebastian starts winning, we’ll lose his attention completely.”

“Winning?” Alex asks, focusing on making sure his crutches won’t slip and end up injuring someone else.

“Pool,” she says. “Sebastian isn’t even that good, really. Sam just sucks.”

Alex nods and leans back in the couch, letting his eyes take in the room. Despite having lived in Pelican Town for most of his life, Alex can count on one hand the number of times he’s been inside the saloon, and not one of them included the arcade. The buttons on the controller for Journey of the Prairie King are well worn, as is the button on the Joja Cola vending machine. Between them sits a Jumino Kart machine that looks brand new. In the center of the room sits the pool table, already prepped for a game, and two sticks balancing against it. 

“Have you two been here long?”

“Sebastian’s usually late,” Abigail explains. “I told Sam that setting up the table would help distract him. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.”

“Did it work today?”

When Abigail smiles, she lets her eyes rake over Alex’s face, and he fights the urge to fidget beneath the weight of it. She knows something he doesn’t, and the realization only encourages the butterflies begging to be set free inside his chest. Had they really wanted him here?

“No,” Abigail replies. Alex starts to ask her what she means by that, but Sebastian and Sam are back, both carrying two drinks each. Sebastian sets down a green tea on the table to Alex’s left.

“Emily didn’t even ask what you would want,” Sebastian says when Alex smiles. “I figured it’d be better to trust her judgment.”

Across the saloon, Emily is smiling at him. Alex makes a mental note to yell at Haley when he gets home.

“Alright!” Sam lifts a beer to his lips and Alex watches, mildly impressed, as he knocks the entire thing back. The glass hits the edge of the pool table with a thud, and Sam wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “You’re going down tonight, Seb. I can feel it.”

Abigail leans in to whisper, “I’ll bet five gold on Sebastian.”

Alex looks over to see Sebastian smiling good-naturedly, sipping gingerly at his own drink. 

“I’ll raise you ten on Sam,” he says loud enough for Sebastian to hear, more heat flooding his body as Sebastian’s mouth drops open in horror. “I’ve got a good feeling about it.”

Chapter Text

Sebastian

Sam almost beat him. And if Sebastian hadn’t forced himself to keep his eyes focused on the task at hand, sinking every solid ball, rather than Alex and Abigail talking to each other in hushed tones that he couldn’t quite hear, Sam would have. 

“So much for feeling good about it,” Abigail says the moment the 8-ball falls into the far left pocket. She holds out her palm and raises an expectant eyebrow at Alex, who sighs and begins reaching into his pocket. 

“You did warn me.” Alex hands her what looks an awful like ten gold. “Anyone want another drink?”

“We’ll go!” Abigail stands up from the couch and takes Sam’s hand, dragging him toward the bar before Sebastian can stop her. He tries staring at the ground, then the empty pool table, but Alex is looking at him, and the draw of it is almost impossible to ignore. 

Sebastian hadn’t known what to think when he’d seen Alex with those crutches. The urge to ask Alex what really happened is nearly as strong as the urge to go home before he does something stupid, like cross the room and sit down beside him on the couch. 

Why is he sitting down on the couch?

“Thank you,” Alex says, saving Sebastian from himself. 

“For what?”

“For inviting me.” He doesn’t comment on the fact that the purpose of his thanks was obvious. He also doesn’t let his eyes linger on Sebastian’s face for too long, meaning Sebastian can hope that he doesn’t notice how difficult a time he’s having looking away. “The summer has sucked without Haley. I forgot what it was like to be around people who don’t go to bed at eight.”

It’s nice, sitting next to Alex on a couch in the saloon after beating Sam at a round of pool. Alex’s body fits perfectly between Sebastian and the armrest, warm and strong, their elbows touching each time one of them takes a breath. Inviting him hadn’t been a spur-of-the-moment decision. Sam had nearly forced him to after finding out how badly Sebastian had fumbled the gift-giving bag. 

Which reminded him –

“Oh, and fuck you by the way,” Sebastian says, turning to frown at Alex, who laughs. It’s a rich, full-bodied, couch-shaking laugh. He wants Alex to do it again. “Hoping I’d be too distracted?”

The moment the words are out of his mouth, Sebastian’s entire body tenses. He hadn’t meant to give voice to the muddled, fuzz-filled way he’d felt since the moment he took the break shot. It’s the beer he’d had, Sebastian tells himself, even though he knows the myriad of thoughts running through his mind have more to do with the way Alex had looked on the beach that morning and not his one and only drink. Alex, for his part, simply smiles and shrugs, and Sebastian holds his breath as their eyes meet. 

They don’t speak, and the longer they look at each other, the faster Sebastian’s heart beats, and he definitely can’t blame the beer for that. No, it’s the direct result of Alex’s eyes sparkling in the glow of the arcade game lights and how he’s lifting a hand up to push the hair out of his eyes, muscles flexing with the movement beneath his t-shirt.

Sam and Abigail will be back any second now, and Sebastian hates the way that realization makes him feel. He doesn’t want to play another round of pool with his back to Alex, trying and failing to hear whatever embarrassing comments Abigail might be making.

“Do you want to get out of here?” 

Alex’s smile grows wider, and Sebastian has to remind himself that anyone would appreciate being rescued from a Friday night at the saloon. Especially on their birthday. 

“What did you have in mind?”

Too many things, Sebastian wants to say. Too many inappropriate, incredibly forward, and definitely not reciprocated things. 

He knows that this is going to go horribly wrong, but he can’t help himself from saying, “The beach?”

Alex opens his mouth and then closes it, flicking his gaze to the bar, where Emily is taking her sweet time making the next round of drinks. Almost like she’s doing everything in her power to give them the smallest bit of privacy in a crowded bar. Which is a ridiculous thing for Sebastian to think, given the fact that Alex is Alex and he’s, well – he’s him. 

“Lead the way.”

For the second time that evening, Sebastian is left almost dumbstruck by the idea of someone like Alex being more than happy to let Sebastian lead him anywhere. First, to the saloon, and now to the beach, their shared happy place. It’s equal parts comforting and mind-blowing that they’ve both managed to carve out places for themselves there, Alex in the morning and Sebastian when the storms are rolling in. Loving the same grains of sand and the old pier but for two very different reasons at opposite times, connected by this shared thing, but separated by the things that made them different.

If Emily shoots him a wink over Sam’s shoulder as she watches him and Alex duck out the door, Sebastian convinces himself that he’s imagining it. Alex doesn’t comment on it, too focused on carrying his crutches and peeking around the corner when they step outside, sighing when he sees the lights off in his house. 

“Granny would kill me if she knew I wasn’t using these,” he says by way of explanation as they start their walk toward the beach path. 

“You’re sure you’re okay?” Sebastian asks, remembering a little too late that walking on sand might not be what Alex’s ankle needs right now. 

“I’m fine,” Alex says, laughing. The moon is bright tonight, beaming down on his profile as they walk. Sebastian reaches for his cigarettes instead of Alex. “Seriously, it’s better that I walk it off anyway. The body heals better when you use it.”

Sebastian takes a drag of his cigarette instead of pointing out that rest is what helps a body heal, not putting an injured joint through more trauma. They fall into step beside one another easily, and the silence that follows as they walk is comfortable. Natural, even, like they don’t need to fill that space with useless noise. It’s peaceful. 

By the time they reach the sand, Sebastian’s cigarette has been smoked to the filter, and he grinds it out on the bottom of his sneakers before sticking the filter in his pocket and slipping out of his shoes. He turns to Alex almost on instinct, a hand held out for the crutches already being offered. Once they’re both barefoot, he hands the crutches back and they head toward the pier, Alex a half-step behind, almost pointedly letting Sebastian take the lead. 

It isn’t until they’re sitting in the same position they’d been in at the Luau that Alex speaks. 

“I would thank you again, but I think you’d hate it.”

He’s leaning back, arms extended behind him in a casual, far-too-comfortable position for the fact that it’s their fourth time alone. Fourth? Fifth? Sebastian is losing count, and that fact is dangerous. Almost as dangerous as the heat that floods his body when he turns and sees Alex staring at him, head tilted to the side, and a soft smile on his lips. 

His kissable, soft-looking lips. 

“If it were anyone else? Yes.” Sebastian hates how easily the truth slips out when it comes to Alex. “But, from you, I think I’ll allow it. One more time, at least. After that, I may have to reconsider.”

He winces, knowing that he’s rambling, but it’s either that or he goes mute entirely, and Alex makes him want to talk. 

“That makes me almost feel special.”

You are, Sebastian nearly says, but that’s one truth he manages to bite back. 

How many times had he thought about something like this? Late at night in his bedroom during school, he’d stayed awake and stared at the ceiling, imagining any number of scenarios in which they might be alone, having a conversation just like this. Most of those daydreams turned into things that would make Alex limp back to town as quickly as he could manage with his ankle. 

“You’re something,” he says instead, and he doesn’t know if that’s better or worse. 

“What am I?” 

Of course, Alex would have the confidence to ask a question like that. People have been calling him special since the first time he’d been handed a gridball. But Sebastian can do better. Wants to do better. 

He must wait too long to speak, because Alex reminds him, “It’s my birthday, so you have to tell me.” Then, he gently nudges Sebastian’s knee with his, and Sebastian’s mind goes blank.

Yoba, this is a bad idea. 

“You’re warm,” Sebastian hears himself say. “People gravitate toward you without you having to try. It’s impressive, really – what?”

Alex’s laughter echoes across the ocean, mixing with the sound of the waves lapping against the pier. Thankfully, Sebastian’s toes are submerged in the water, hiding the way his toes curl at the pleasure that laps up his spine. He likes that he can make Alex laugh. 

“They might have, once,” Alex says once his laugh fades to a soft chuckle, and then he’s gazing out at the horizon. Sebastian immediately misses the weight of his eyes on him, but he likes the unadulterated view of Alex in profile. “Not so much these days.”

His jaw tenses for a moment, and Sebastian watches as he takes a deep breath, which he holds for a while before exhaling. Sebastian should say something, but he doesn’t know what.

“You said it’s been rough without Haley.” Sebastian hates every word as they fall from his mouth, but he can’t stop them. He needs to know. Even if he doesn’t like the answer, he needs one almost as much as he needs Alex to look at him again. “Is she your–?”

“My best friend, yeah.” Alex sits up straight, their arms brushing with the movement. “My only friend, really. That’s sad, isn’t it?”

Sebastian thinks back on the Alex that he remembers: loud, friendly, teetering on the edge of obnoxious and godlike. Surrounded by dozens of people who practically fell over themselves to get close enough to Alex to touch him. He intends to ask what happened, but the question doesn’t come out right. 

“Just a friend?”

Their eyes meet, rooting Sebastian in place before he has a chance to make a run for it. 

“Just a friend,” Alex repeats. He doesn’t seem shocked or offended by the question. If anything, he seems almost relieved. “She’s, uh… not really my type.”

This would be the perfect time for Sebastian to change the subject. They could talk about gridball, or music, or why Alex never went back to school. Sebastian could offer up any one of the hundreds of facts he knows about frogs, and Alex can update him on his latest workout routine. 

“What is your type?”

Alex chews on his bottom lip, drawing Sebastian’s gaze there. Butterflies erupt in his stomach, reminiscent of the way it had felt to let Sam drag him to school gridball games and to pretend that Alex had meant to catch his eye after scoring another point. The team would rush him, patting him on the back or messing up his hair, laughing while the stadium erupted, chanting Alex’s name. But, sometimes, Alex would look straight at Sebastian, like his applause was the only one that mattered. 

It’d all been in Sebastian’s head, though. Because there was no way that Alex Mullner –

“Not Haley,” Alex says, tearing Sebastian out of the memory. “Not women, to be specific.”

Sebastian wants to reach for a cigarette. He nearly does, but he forces his hands to stay where they are in his lap.

“So, men, then?” 

“Not Krobus, that’s for sure,” Alex says it casually, like he isn’t the reason that Sebastian’s brain is screaming error over and over. “Only Haley, Emily, and my grandparents know. And now you, I guess.”

Sebastian wants Alex to expand on the fact that he guesses Sebastian knows, but he can’t think properly over the feeling of his sixteen-year-old self doing backflips down the pier. Not just backflips, but cartwheels, handstands – a perfect swan dive right into the water while confetti rains down from the sky.

“Sam and Abigail know that I’m bisexual.” He forces the admission out, torn between looking away and watching Alex chew on his bottom lip. “My mom suspects, probably. And now you know.”

Another deep breath that Alex holds for way too long before exhaling. 

“So, you and Abigail aren’t…?” Alex trails off, an eyebrow raised, more of a tease than a challenge. 

“Once, forever ago.” Sebastian is thankful for the cloud that chooses that moment to roll in over the moon, hiding the heat that floods his cheeks and neck. “We both like to pretend that bottle of melon wine never happened.”

A shiver runs down Sebastian’s spine, and he can’t tell if it’s from the way Alex is looking at him or the half-hazy memory that he does not want to relive right now. Not when Alex is sitting so close, and smells so good, and is making Sebastian question if he’s even into women at all. 

“Good to know.”

Yes, Sebastian thinks. Yes, this is good information to know. If he could go back and tell his teenage self that one day he’d find himself sitting this close to Alex with the moon breaking through the clouds, the moonbeams hitting his face in a way that only serves to accentuate his jawline and the length of his eyelashes, high school might not have been that bad. 

“Did you get everything you wanted?” Sebastian asks, enjoying the silence but needing to fill it before his mind goes places it shouldn’t. “For your birthday, I mean.”

Something flashes through Alex’s eyes, too quickly for Sebastian to catch and make sense of it. His body responds, though, one hand moving to brace himself on the pier as he turns to face him fully, tired of having to turn his head to see him. 

“Almost everything.”

The world is spinning. Spinning, falling out from beneath him – in fact, Sebastian is sure that the pier itself is vibrating. 

“Tell me.”

Usually, Sebastian wouldn’t have it in him to be so straightforward, especially with a man. The joys of being attracted to them were that they could take the front seat while Sebastian sat back and enjoyed everything that they had to give. But Alex had insisted he lead the way, and he could at least give Alex the slightest bit of guidance. Something in Alex’s eyes told Sebastian that, the moment Sebastian got him there, he’d have what he needed to finish whatever they started. 

It should terrify him. Instead, Sebastian finds himself holding his breath, waiting, anticipation building in him faster than he can process that something is happening. 

“It’s good luck to get a kiss on your birthday.” Alex’s eyes don’t leave Sebastian’s, but there’s a shyness to his tone that leaves little room for Sebastian to do anything other than let himself lean the slightest bit closer. 

“Is it?”

Alex nods and licks his bottom lip, and Sebastian barely bites back whatever noise attempted to break free from his suddenly very dry throat. 

“You definitely need all the luck you can get after this morning.” The joke eases some of the tension building in his chest, and gives his mouth the freedom to water the way that it wants to at the idea of what Alex Mullner might taste like. “Just tell me one thing first.”

“Anything.”

“What made you so distracted this morning that you twisted your ankle?”

“You.” The word comes out breathless, almost desperate, and Sebastian does make a noise then. “I was thinking about you–”

If guessing had been torture, knowing is heaven, and Sebastian is helpless against the urge to close the last bit of distance between them. The hand not holding him up finds Alex’s cheek the same moment that their lips meet, soft, a steadying touch rather than holding Alex in place. When Alex kisses him back, his lips moving with purpose, Sebastian gives himself over to it, both hands finding their way to Alex’s hair and keeping him there while he lives out one of his earliest fantasies. 

Only this is better, because now he knows that Alex tastes like green tea. Green tea, the cigarette smoke still lingering in Sebastian’s mouth, and cherry chapstick. He doesn’t know why the chapstick is what sends him over the edge, tongue swiping along Alex’s bottom lip, begging for more, but it does. And Alex opens his mouth with a soft gasp, a hand grabbing at Sebastian’s waist and pulling him closer. 

It would be so easy for Sebastian to climb onto Alex’s lap, leaving as little room between them as possible, but he doesn’t. Instead, he stays with his feet in the water and his torso turned toward the literal man of his dreams as want and imaginary confetti battle for dominance over his lungs. It’s hard to breathe like this, swallowing the sounds coming from Alex as Alex inhales his in turn, the kiss turning into a frantic mess of tongues and teeth, both of them too wrapped up in the feeling of it to care about technique. 

Regardless, it’s probably the best kiss Sebastian has ever had. Beneath the searing heat is a tenderness that keeps it almost reverent, like he’s making a pilgrimage back to the place where everything started. Years of thinking about what this would be like hadn’t truly prepared him for the reality of it, and for that, Sebastian is thankful. 

They don’t pull apart because they want to, but because Sebastian is sure that they need to breathe if the slight fuzzy-feeling in his mind is anything to go by. But they don’t separate completely, instead simply resting their foreheads together as they catch their breath, Alex’s hand holding onto Sebastian’s shirt like it’s the only thing keeping him from being swept away with the waves. Sebastian knows because his fingers in Alex’s hair is the only thing keeping him from doing the same. 

“Happy birthday to me,” Alex mumbles, leaning forward to place a soft kiss on Sebastian’s lips, and Sebastian has no choice but to laugh. Then, Alex yawns, and Sebastian remembers that he’s been awake since Yoba knows when that morning, and he’s had the definition of a long day. 

“I should probably walk you home now,” he says, but he doesn’t release his hold on Alex’s hair. 

“Yeah,” Alex agrees, and his hand stays wrapped in the fabric of Sebastian’s shirt. “I’ll definitely need those crutches now.”

They help each other up, and then Alex reaches for his crutches, and Sebastian waits for the world to come crashing back down around them. But, it doesn’t. Instead, they make their way back to town, Sebastian asking what else Alex got for his birthday and Alex telling him: a complete breakfast in bed from Evelyn and tickets to a Zuzu University gridball game from George. Two tickets, to be specific, to their opening game in the first week of fall. By the time they reach the Mullner house, Sebastian nearly convinces himself that it might be possible for one of those tickets to have his name on them. 

“Thank you,” Alex says when they reach the front door, rolling his eyes as Sebastian opens his mouth to protest. “I mean it. This is easily in my top five favorite birthdays.”

Sebastian wants to ask what the other four are, but Alex is yawning again. 

“You’re welcome,” he says, enjoying all too well the way it feels to say those words and mean them. “I hope you sleep well.”

Alex pauses for a moment, his eyebrows furrowing as he stares down at Sebastian with an odd mix of worry and awe. Then, he pulls out his phone and holds it out. 

“So you can tell me you make it home alright,” he says. “Don’t need both of us being injured.”

Sebastian ducks his head to hide the pink rising in his cheeks as he adds his contact and then hands the phone back. They stand there for a moment, neither of them speaking, and both of them smiling like idiots. 

Instead of making a break for home, Sebastian lifts up to place a kiss on the corner of Alex’s mouth, wanting more but knowing they’re far too close to the saloon for him to risk much more than that.

“Happy birthday, Alex,” he whispers before dropping back to his feet. “I’ll let you know when I’m home.”

It feels strange to say those words and mean them. Sebastian has lost count of the number of times Sam and Abigail have made the same request, only to have it go unfulfilled. But he finds himself rushing back to the mountain, inhaling a cigarette as he goes, feeling the most in his body and outside of it that he has in his life. He can still feel the places where Alex’s skin touched his, all unadulterated warmth and heat that Sebastian already finds himself craving. He slips through the front door and locks it behind himself, then practically falls down the stairs into his room. 

Sebastian: It turns out that walking is far less dangerous than running

He doesn’t have to wait more than a few seconds for a response

Alex: Happy you’re safe

Alex: And since you’re not here to roll your eyes at me – thank you

Sebastian: We’ll have to do it again sometime

Alex: Preferably when I’m not injured

Sebastian: Get some rest so you heal faster

Alex: Only because you asked. Have a good night, Sebastian

Sebastian: Good night, Alex

He plugs his phone into the charger and then strips out of his clothes, knowing that, for once, he won’t have any trouble falling asleep. Not when he can still feel Alex’s lips on his and he needs to outrun the voice in the back of his head saying that this is all a horrible, awful idea. Something that felt that good can’t be all that bad, even if it won’t amount to gridball games in the fall and testing out what Alex might be able to accomplish with a non-twisted ankle.

Chapter Text

Alex

Alex can’t pinpoint the exact moment he wakes up. All he knows is that he’s dreaming, and he doesn’t want it to end. Bright summer sun beams down on the sand as the waves lap against the pier, and Sebastian’s lips are on his neck, his hands moving down the front of Alex’s shirt toward the waistband of his swim trunks. He keeps his eyes closed against the weight of waking up, wanting to stay there a little longer, Sebastian’s name on the tip of his tongue. He’s hard, so hard it aches, and he bites down on his bottom lip to keep from moaning as he palms himself over his briefs. 

The awake half of himself knows that this is wrong, but he’s enjoying this dream way too much to care. It’s been years since Sebastian made an appearance in a dream like this: all hooded eyes and puffy lips, staring up at Alex as he presses a firm hand over the shape of his cock through the bright green fabric. Alex knows that he’d be a tease. Sebastian takes his time, nipping at the exposed skin of Alex’s abs and running his thumb in circles over the tip of his cock, not giving him much of anything until Alex can’t take it anymore. 

He risks blinking open his eyes to check his door, relief flooding his body when he sees that it’s locked. Alex doesn’t bother with pulling his briefs down all the way; instead, he shifts them just enough that he can pull himself out, the cold air of his room doing little to ease the heat in his body. In the dream, Sebastian does it slowly, dragging the swimtrunks all the way to Alex’s ankles and then off, tossing them somewhere over his shoulder. Sebastian waits until Alex is practically begging for it, leaving soft nips along his inner thighs and dragging his tongue from one hipbone to the other, not giving in until Alex’s hips thrust up on their own accord, needing Sebastian more than Alex needs to keep his composure. 

His hand doesn’t feel as good as he knows Sebastian’s mouth would, but it does the job. He jerks himself slowly at first, head thrown back against the pillows as he imagines Sebastian finally wrapping his lips around him. Alex speeds up his movements, then, realizing all too late that he hasn’t done this since before Haley left for the summer, and maybe that’s why he’s having such a hard time forgetting the way it had felt to kiss Sebastian. The kiss lingers still on his lips, all beer and cigarette smoke, and he wants to kiss him again. In fact, Alex needs it as badly as he needs to cum, right now. 

“Fuck.”

The word comes out silent as he strokes himself faster, sweat pooling on his temples and pleasure building low in his stomach, everything condensing into the image of Sebastian looking up at him with eyes that sparkle in the sunshine. Sebastian would take Alex so well. He knows that with the same certainty that he knows he’s about to break, squeezing himself harder, wishing he could fuck Sebastian’s throat harder. Sebastian would let him. He’d probably let Alex do a lot of things. Alex had seen it in his eyes the night before: Sebastian wanted to just let go and give himself over to whatever magic had fallen over the beach as they sat there, drawn further into each other with every new star that appeared in the sky. If Alex got him alone, he’d give Sebastian everything in whatever way he wanted it. Hard and fast, long and slow, in a bed, against a wall. 

It’s the idea of Sebastian choking around him that does Alex in, a gasped-out moan slipping past his lips as he breaks. His back arches off the bed as ropes of cum streak across his chest and abdomen, some of it getting on the sheets, but he doesn’t care about that right then. All he cares about is Sebastian swallowing all of it, the taste of it on his tongue when Alex pulls him back up for a kiss. 

Alex is definitely awake then. Awake and covered in proof that this is all a terrible idea. He lies there for a moment, breathing in and holding it until his lungs start to burn. If Sebastian knew this was the result of a single kiss, would he walk away in disgust, or drop to his knees and make it a reality?

When his head stops spinning, Alex reaches blindly around the floor beside his bed, searching for something to get rid of the evidence of his depravity. First, he finds the t-shirt he’d worn the night before, but he can’t use it because he can still smell Sebastian’s cologne lingering there. The next object feels an awful lot like a pair of sweatpants, and he keeps searching, more of his release slipping down his side and onto his bed as he has to sit up to reach a towel. Alex deserves this, he thinks. A cold shower and a load of laundry are an adequate punishment for thinking about someone who definitely doesn’t want to be thought about in that way. 

By the time the washing machine is running, Alex has pulled himself back together enough to risk facing his grandparents in the kitchen. Evelyn is at the stove and George is at the table, a coffee already poured in Alex’s favorite mug. He throws himself down into the chair beside George, bypassing the coffee for a glass of water and a piece of bacon. 

“Did you have a good night last night?” Evelyn asks, not looking up from the pancake she’s in the middle of flipping. Heat floods Alex’s cheeks, and he takes another sip of water before answering. 

“What do you mean?”

That’s enough for George to lower the newspaper and glare at him over the top, eyebrows furrowed in a way that says, don’t lie to your grandmother. 

“I mean you were out late,” Evelyn says, flipping the pancake with expert precision. “And Marnie said she saw you at the saloon–”

“All the women in this town do is gossip,” Alex huffs. George shoots a quick glance at Evelyn, confirming her back is still turned, before he swiftly smacks Alex on the back of the head. 

“What have I said about hitting each other at the table?” She asks, pouring more batter into the pan. “Anyway, it was sweet of Sebastian to invite you, wasn’t it?”

It was sweet. Sweet and all-consuming, and Alex can’t risk getting hard again at the kitchen table. 

“I had a good time,” Alex forces himself to say, spooning a larger-than-necessary portion of hashbrowns onto his plate. “His friends are nice.”

That makes Evelyn snort. 

“Sam has always been a good kid,” she says. George rolls his eyes before lifting the newspaper back up, clearly in disagreement. “And Abigail has grown into such a lovely young woman. Reminds me of myself at that age, don’t you agree, George?”

A muffled humph emanates from behind the newspaper. Alex has seen pictures of Evelyn and George in their early twenties – there’s one hanging in the living room right now, with Evelyn wearing a skirt her mother definitely would not have approved of, and George smiling wider than he has in a long time. He’s holding up a peace sign over Evelyn’s head, and her arms are wrapped around his waist. His mom won’t be born for a few more years, and the mining accident is a few years beyond that. They look young and happy. Alex can’t remember a time he felt the way they look in that photograph. 

Well, kissing Sebastian had come pretty close. That and watching him try and fail not to keep shooting glances at Alex over his shoulder in the saloon. 

“How many pancakes do you want?” Evelyn asks. 

“None for me,” Alex replies, shoving two more pieces of bacon into his mouth and following them with three eggs that he inhales rather than eats. “I’m going to try and get a light workout in before opening the ice cream shop.”

“Marnie said–”

“Oh, let the boy go, will you?” George grumbles. He folds up the newspaper and sets it down on the table before reaching for the coffee Alex didn’t drink. “That ankle needs to be used if it’s got any chance of healing.”

Alex shoots him an appreciative glance, which George returns with a conspiratorial wink. Once his plate is empty, Alex walks it to the sink and leans down to give Evelyn a peck on the cheek. She reminds him to take the crutches just in case, which he does. The moment Alex steps outside, he pulls out his phone. 

Alex: What would upset you more: good morning or thank you?

Sebastian’s reply is almost immediate. 

Sebastian: How are you awake right now?

Alex: I could ask you the same question 

Sebastian: The joys of being self-employed

Alex doesn’t know why the thought of Sebastian being up with the sun and working makes him pause. It’s another reminder of how different they are. Where Alex is twenty-six and has had the same summer job since he was a teenager, nothing more, Sebastian has an entire career that Alex knows next to nothing about. Something with computers, he thinks. Something far above anything Alex could begin to comprehend.

Alex: I should let you get back to it

He sticks his phone in his pocket and focuses his attention on his ankle as he walks, noting any lingering pains or signals from his body that he shouldn’t push himself as hard as he wants to. Other than a dull ache, his body seems to be handling the injury quite well. Harvey had sent him home with extra compression wrap and instructions to see him at his usual appointment in two days. Other than that, no running, and he should be good as new. Alex repeats that to himself as he toes off his shoes and makes his way across the sand. 

In the grand scheme of gridball, a sprained ankle is little more than a blip in time. A temporary setback that’s more frustrating than game-changing. But it is proof that his dreams of tryouts in the spring are just that: dreams. Foolish, childish fantasies that do little more than give him a reason to get up in the morning and keep himself in shape. Without that dream, he’s not sure he’d be much different than Shane, working at Joja Mart and drinking his paycheck away every night. 

Walk it off, he scolds himself. 

Once at his usual spot, Alex pulls his t-shirt over his head and tosses it onto the sand along with his phone and shoes. He does a lighter version of his usual workout, with more of a focus on stretching and his core. No jumping or sprints, just good old-fashioned twists and a plank with his bad ankle slightly off the sand. It only takes a matter of minutes for him to realize all of this is mostly pointless. Everything he wants to do requires both feet in proper working order. Staying at home and lifting might have been a better idea, but starting his day without the beach seems awful, especially smack in the middle of summer. 

He lies on his back in the sand, arms spread out and his eyes closed, letting the sun warm his skin. Before yesterday, Alex would have found this peaceful. Instead, he has to fight the urge to look over at the pier and remember how it had felt to sit arm to arm, thigh to thigh, with Sebastian, talking and getting lost in the way Sebastian’s eyes sparkle in the moonlight. Sebastian was made to be seen at night, like he belongs to the moon and the stars. It’s –

“And what exercise is that, exactly?”

The sound of Sebastian’s voice shouldn’t make Alex smile, but it does, and it chases away every bad thought he’d been having. 

“Yogis call it the Corpse Pose,” Alex says, peeking one eye open. Sebastian’s smirk says he doesn’t believe him, but he looks good. Happy, even, if Alex isn’t mistaken. “Shouldn’t you be working?”

Sebastian shrugs and drops himself down onto the sand beside Alex. 

“You’re supposed to be resting,” he says, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. “If you’re going to break the rules, why can’t I?”

On anyone else, the habit of smoking would have turned Alex so far off he wouldn’t be able to stand being near them. Somehow, Sebastian manages to make it erotic. Perhaps it’s the way he holds the cigarette, expertly, drawing Alex’s attention to his fingers. Or how his lips wrap around the filter and his cheeks hollow as he inhales, waking up bits of Alex’s anatomy that his shorts definitely won’t be able to hide. 

“How’s your ankle?” 

Alex sends Sebastian a telepathic thank you for giving him something else to think about that won’t put him in a compromising position. 

“Swollen, actually.” He hopes the laugh he forces out doesn’t betray just how badly it hurts. “It has to get worse before it gets better, though.”

Without the pain medication Harvey had slipped him or the adrenaline of Sebastian inviting him to the saloon, the pain is almost all that Alex’s body wants him to focus on now. Hence the inappropriate thoughts. He’d rather have to explain a hard-on than why he can’t finish a simple workout.  

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

Sebastian asks the question easily, like it couldn’t pertain to any number of the things running through Alex’s mind. He sighs and pulls himself up to a sitting position, tearing his eyes away from the tattoos on Sebastian’s arm and the cigarette dangling between his lips to look out at the ocean. 

“Not really,” he says. The sand on his back itches, and he wishes he could pop into the ocean to rinse it off. Redoing the compression tape will only be more trouble than it’s worth. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Anything.”

That draws Alex’s attention back to Sebastian, who’s looking at him warmly. Openly. Alex wonders how many people he looks at like that. He hopes it isn’t many. 

“What kinds of flowers are those?” He asks, nodding toward Sebastian’s left arm. Sebastian holds the arm up and turns it over, inspecting the tattoo like he’s seeing it for the first time. 

“Water lilies,” he says. “And a few hosta leaves, but mostly lilies.”

Pride blooms in Alex’s chest that he’d guessed them correctly. He’s too busy celebrating that small victory to fully notice Sebastian scooting closer in the sand and offering Alex his arm. His skin is smooth and warm. Alex wants to trace the shape of the flowers with his tongue, but settles for a fingertip. 

“I like frogs,” Sebastian says. “And they like water lilies. It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

Goosebumps rise on Sebastian’s skin despite the heat in the air as Alex lets his finger travel from the ring of thorns at Sebastian’s wrist up to the inside of his elbow. Touching Sebastian is nice. Relaxing. Grounding in a way Alex hadn’t suspected but should have. 

“Do you not like them now?” Alex asks, keeping his eyes focused on the black and grey blooms on Sebastian’s bicep. Sebastian’s gaze is warm on his profile, begging Alex to turn his head, but he can’t, because he’d do something foolish, like kiss him. And he can’t kiss Sebastian again. Not like this, in the middle of the beach as the morning sun lifts above the horizon. 

“None of my tattoos have color.” Sebastian’s voice comes out just above a whisper, barely surpassing the sound of the waves and Alex’s heartbeat. “The flowers look a bit dead without it, don’t they?”

“No,” Alex replies immediately. He stops just below the hem of Sebastian’s black t-shirt sleeve, wanting to keep going but knowing he shouldn’t. “I think they look timeless. Simple, but soft. Like you.”

Sebastian laughs, and the movement causes some of his hair to fall forward, tickling Alex’s temple. 

“I’m not soft,” Sebastian says, as if it were a fact. “I’m–”

“Speaking as the person who’s touching you right now,” Alex lifts his eyes just enough to meet Sebastian’s, and he’s taken aback by just how lovely Sebastian looks. In the moonlight, the sunset, the sunrise – Sebastian somehow manages to look the same and different, each facet of him shining through depending on the light. Alex likes all of it. “You’re quite soft.”

A look flashes through Sebastian’s eyes, heated and almost humorous, and Alex immediately realizes the double meaning of his words. He’d be embarrassed if Sebastian wasn’t lifting a hand to cover Alex’s where it rests on his arm, holding him in place. 

“I meant–”

“I can almost believe it when you say it.”

Alex is going to kiss him. Any second now, right here on the beach, he’s going to lean in and capture the bottom lip that Sebastian is currently chewing on. He wants to know what it tastes like now, in the morning. Does Sebastian drink coffee or tea? Or an energy drink, maybe, if he wakes up so early after being up so late. It’d be so easy to slip his tongue inside Sebastian’s mouth and –

Material Girl by Madonna begins to play from Alex’s phone, shattering the moment into a million little shards of glass that fall onto the sand. Sebastian jumps rather than pulls back, like he’s been burned, and Alex shoots him an apologetic look before answering. 

“What?” 

“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed,” Haley grumbles right back. “I thought you’d be happy to know that I–”

But Alex isn’t listening. Instead, he’s watching as Sebastian pulls himself up to his feet and brushes the sand from his jeans, cheeks flushed an adorable shade of red, and his eyebrows furrowed. He mouths, “I’ll see you later,” as he nods his head in the direction of town, and Alex is helpless against the sound of whatever Haley is saying. She’s still talking when Sebastian is out of sight, his footprints nonexistent in the sand and the ghost of his hand on Alex’s warm against the cool breeze coming in from the beach. 

“Are you even listening to me?” Haley stops mid-sentence to ask. Alex inhales as deeply as he can and holds it for as long as possible before dropping down onto his back, letting the force of it knock the air from his lungs. 

“Yeah,” he lies. “Then what happened?”

When he limps back home, he can’t remember a single thing that Haley said. All he knows is that he’s torn between crawling into bed and dragging himself up to the mountain. But, Evelyn needs help with the dishes, and George can’t find the batteries for the television remote, so Alex does neither.

Chapter Text

Sebastian

“So, let me get this straight,” Sam says, lying on his bed with his legs propped up against the wall, head hanging off the mattress. “You kissed Alex, then Alex almost kissed you, and now you’re ignoring his texts because you don’t think he’s into you?”

Sebastian presses himself harder against Sam’s dresser and pulls his knees closer to his chest. If he makes himself as small as possible, the gravity of the situation won’t be able to take him out with it. Maybe. It’s worth a try, anyway. 

“I think he was going to kiss me,” he corrects, staring down at his Converse. He should clean them sometime. “But then Haley called–”

“And he answered, which makes him a better friend than you.” Even upside down, Sebastian can tell that Sam is frowning. “Yoba, you really are shit at this.”

Sebastian groans and lets his body fall to the side, collapsing onto the floor with his head landing on a pile of Sam’s dirty laundry. Coming to Sam for advice might have been an even worse idea than kissing Alex, but he’s in this mess because of Sam. The least Sam can do is help him fix it. 

“Read the texts to me again.”

It takes Sebastian a moment to find his phone where he’d thrown it a few minutes prior. Some might think that looking at the texts over and over would eventually make them hurt less, but it seems the opposite is happening. Each time Sebastian sees Alex’s name at the top of his messages and then clicks, it’s like he’s reading them for the first time all over again. 

Alex: Hey

Twenty minutes later, another text. 

Alex: Sorry about that. Timing has never been Haley’s strong suit

Alex: Is everything okay?

An hour passed between those two texts. The fourth is what had made Sebastian take the long way to Sam’s, stopping by the farmer’s house to grab some peaches for his mom before sneaking past Marnie’s house and ending up on Sam’s bedroom floor. 

Alex: Do you want to talk about it?

That had been almost two hours ago now. Sebastian locks his phone and tosses it back in the general direction he’d found it. 

“It sounds to me like he wants to talk about it.”

“What is there to talk about?” Sebastian rolls onto his back, but it immediately reminds him of the way Alex had been lying that morning on the sand, so he sits back up. 

“If Vincent wasn’t home, I’d murder you.”

Alex had looked so frustrated lying on the sand, like he’d been contemplating jumping in the ocean and seeing just how important an ankle was to the act of swimming. At first, Sebastian had tried to tell himself it was just Alex coping with the fact that he couldn’t adequately show off just how fit he was, but something deeper had lingered in the way Alex looked out at the sea, like he’d been searching for something. An admission that they’d gone too far the night before, Sebastian could have handled. Instead, he’d found himself with Alex’s hand on his arm, sneaking its way toward his sleeve the same way Sebastian wanted it to reach other places. 

He doesn’t know whether or not he should be thankful for Haley. One kiss was wrong, but two? Two means that there really is something between Alex and Sebastian, and that just can’t happen. Not when they are both looking for very different things. Alex deserves someone athletic and confident who would look pretty next to him on the cover of sports magazines, and Sebastian is generally better off alone, occasionally hooking up with whatever man or woman catches his eye on the rare occasion he goes to a club in Zuzu City seeking out physical touch. 

“You’re doing it again.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.”

Sebastian throws what he thinks is a sock at Sam. It misses by a long shot – another reminder of just how incompatible he and Alex are. Alex would have made sure the sock hit its target with his eyes closed. 

“Just text him back!” Sam lets himself slide rather dramatically off the bed, joining Sebastian on the floor in a tangle of limbs and blankets. “Honestly, Seb, you’re making this way more complicated than it has to be.”

Those words rattle around in Sebastian’s head for his entire walk to Joja Mart, where he buys a cheap bottle of wine and a fresh pack of cigarettes, and then up the river that cuts through town. He takes the back way up to the mountain, avoiding the Mullner house as best he can, trying in vain to push them as far from his mind as possible. 

You’re making this way more complicated than it has to be. 

Do you want to talk about it?

You’re making it –

“Are you feeling alright, honey?” 

His mom is closing up her shop when Sebastian steps through the door, and he hopes the smile on his face is somewhat genuine. At the very least, the bag of peaches he hands over provides the very distraction he’d been hoping for. 

“Just peachy,” he says, and she laughs, messing up his hair the same way she’s done since he was a boy.

“Dinner’s in the kitchen if you want any,” Robin nods her head down the hall, where Sebastian can hear Maru and Demetrius laughing. 

“I ate at Sam’s,” Sebastian lies. “Besides, I’ve got to–”

“No problem,” she waves him off, but there’s a sadness in her eyes that almost makes Sebastian wish he were different. “I’ll leave you something on the stove, just in case.”

In his room, Sebastian grabs Abigail’s corkscrew, which she’d left however many weeks ago when she and Sam came over to play Solarion Chronicles, and uses it to open his wine. He glances around for an abandoned and mostly clean cup, but doesn’t find one, so he opts for drinking straight from the bottle. It’s better to do it that way, he tells himself as he sits down at his computer. He’ll be forced to drink it more slowly, a necessity given the circumstances. 

He checks his emails out of habit, clearing out spam and replying to two companies that were interested in having some basic operating software upgrades done to their existing systems. Then, he sees a notice that a rather generous sum has been wired to his account: payment for the mom and pop shop that had made him design several different websites before accepting his final offer. They’d also sent him a digital coupon for thirty percent off his first online order. 

At this rate, he’ll be able to start looking for apartments by the end of the summer, and the thought makes him sit up a bit straighter in his chair. Sebastian wants to celebrate. He wants to risk saying hi to his family upstairs to get a proper wine glass, he wants a smoke – a cigarette or weed, he’ll take either. But, most importantly, or, rather, frustratingly, he wants to see Alex. 

Do you want to talk about it?

No. No, Sebastian doesn’t want to talk about it. He’d settle for talking, though. Talking, laughing, watching Alex blush. 

His phone is in his hand, and he’s typing before he can stop himself. 

Sebastian: Hey, I’m sorry. Really busy day

He waits for the crushing weight of regret to come crashing down on him, but Alex responds before that can happen. 

Alex: Busy but productive, I hope

It hadn’t been, but Alex doesn’t need to know that. In fact, Alex doesn’t need to know a lot of things, like the fact that Sebastian can’t get him out of his head or that he might actually miss his mom when he moves out. 

Sebastian: It was actually. I might be in the mood to celebrate

Alex: Oh?

Sebastian: What are you doing right now?

The three bubbles appear and then disappear so many times that Sebastian manages to find a glass of water on his nightstand from who knows how long ago. He rinses it out in the basement bathroom and then returns to his desk, filling it halfway. 

Alex: Trying to beat this level of Journey of the Prairie King. AKA – Letting my ego be destroyed by a video game

It’s the wine that gives him the courage to not only write his next reply but hit send. 

Sebastian: Want to come over? I can give you a few tips

Alex: Now?

Sebastian shoots a quick glance at the door. His family is used to Sam and Abigail coming and going at all hours of the night, but Alex would be a surprise, and he isn’t sure he can deal with the plethora of questions and confused looks he’d receive from them. 

Alex: I just meant that I’d rather come over than lose this level again

Well, when Alex put it that way…

Sebastian: Yeah, I’ll meet you outside

Inside his top left desk drawer, beneath a false bottom, is the stash of pre-rolled joints he and Sam save for special occasions. There are also a handful of spliffs he’d taken the time to roll for when he needs a little something to take the edge off, and he grabs one of those. Robin’s laughter has joined the others in the kitchen, and Sebastian prays that everyone will still be seated when he sneaks Alex in through the front door. 

The moon is starting its arc across the sky when he steps out into the summer evening, and there are no clouds in sight, giving Sebastian a clear view of the beach in the distance. As he lights up the spliff and takes his first drag, it’s almost impossible to remember that he’d seen Alex only that morning. It feels like days since he had Alex’s eyes on him, Alex’s finger tracing the flowers Sebastian still loved but wanted to fix. He’d started to convince himself sometime in spring that, if he added color, he might feel less like running away from his friends and family. 

Those thoughts are starting to spiral in his mind, overlapping with the idea that this shouldn’t be complicated and that he might want to talk about whatever is happening, when Alex comes into view. He’s wearing grey sweatpants and a dark blue t-shirt, no crutches but limping slightly, and he has a pizza box in his hand. 

“Hi,” Alex says, using his free hand to push his hair out of his eyes, and Sebastian falls for the move, his eyes tracking each flex of those muscles. He takes another drag of the spliff and holds it until his lungs burn. 

“This is for you,” Alex continues, coming to a stop an arm’s length away and nodding toward the pizza. “I didn’t know if you’d been too busy to eat or not.”

Before he can answer, Sebastian’s stomach growls, betraying any sense of cool he might have been giving off. Has he eaten today? He can’t remember. All he knows is that Alex’s eyes are his favorite shade of green, and he probably should have thought this through before inviting him over. 

“Oh, um, that’s–” Nice. “Thank you.”

He finishes the spliff so quickly that his head starts to spin, and he fights through the rush to ash it out on the bottom of his shoe before nodding toward the door. 

“I probably should have mentioned this before I invited you over,” Sebastian says, shoving his hands in his pockets. “But we’re going to have to sneak you in and out.”

Alex raises an eyebrow, not in shock – there’s too much amusement sparkling in his eyes for that to be the case. It’s almost as if he’s charmed, somehow, like he would expect nothing less. 

“I won’t ask why as long as you take the pizza,” he replies, holding out the box. “If it goes down, I’ll probably go down with it, and I won't fall very quietly.”

Sebastian takes the pizza and then eases open the door, sticking his head inside to check that the coast is still clear. No one has moved from the kitchen, and he turns back to Alex.

“Through the shop to the right is a set of stairs. Don’t stop until you’re in my room.”

For some inexplicable reason, Alex winks before doing as he’s told. Winks. Then, he’s brushing past Sebastian close enough that their arms brush, and Sebastian nearly drops the pizza all on his own. 

Yoba, he really might be making a mistake. No one except Sam, Abigail, and his family has been in his room since high school, and the farmer, when he’d first arrived, showing up with frozen tears from the mines and asking inane questions about Sebastian’s job. That was years ago, though, and Sam and Abigail are used to the cluttered mess that only Sebastian knows his way around. It’s not until the door to his room closes behind him that Sebastian realizes he probably should have cleaned before going out for a smoke. 

If Alex is judging the stacks of comic books, empty sashimi containers, and the trash can overflowing with energy drink cans, he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he takes his time turning around in the center of the room, observing every inch as if committing it to memory. 

“Oh, I used to love this series as a kid,” Alex says, picking up one of the comic books on the corner of Sebastian’s desk. “I didn’t know they still made them.”

“A new issue actually came out a few weeks ago,” Sebastian replies, grateful for something to talk about that isn’t the shape of Alex’s ass beneath the grey sweatpants. He sets the pizza down on the gaming table and heads to his bookshelf, where he picks up the book resting on top of an overcrowded bookshelf. “It’s gone downhill in the last couple of years, if you ask me. Repeating plotlines, shit villains – that sort of thing. But, I collect them, so.”

“Do you?” That prompts Alex to abandon the desk and make his way to the bookshelf. This puts him close enough that Sebastian can feel the heat radiating off his skin, an unwelcome distraction from the air conditioning blasting from the vents on the ceiling. “Have you read all of these?”

Fuck, Alex is so tall. So tall and muscular, and Sebastian knows he should be saying something, anything, but he can’t look away from Alex’s profile. This is bad. Very, very bad. 

But, not complicated. For all the nerves and urges to throw Alex down on the couch, Sebastian feels comfortable. Safe, even, like he’s spending time with a very jacked Sam who knows how to use his inside voice. Of course, Alex is the kind of person who’s easy to be around; people have wanted to be his friend since the day he was born. And why wouldn’t they? He’s all smiles and boyish vulnerability wrapped up in an Adonis-like package. 

“Most of them.” Sebastian forces the words out, wincing when even he can hear how rough his voice sounds. He needs water, not wine, and more than a few more inches between himself and Alex. “I think you’d like this series, actually. It’s about a god who finds himself trapped on Earth, and monsters from his homeland keep showing up and–”

He’s talking too much. Sebastian knows that. Yet Alex is smiling as he takes the comic out of Sebastian’s hand and flips to the first page, his eyes scanning the strip in rapid-fire movements. 

“You can borrow it, if you want.”

“Yeah,” Alex nods, turning the full force of his gaze to Sebastian’s face. “I’d like that.”

Sebastian opens his mouth to say something, but his stomach grumbles again, and Alex promptly forces him down onto the couch and slides the pizza box toward him. 

“Eat.” Alex’s voice is gentle, but something beneath the silky smooth feeling of it leaves no room for Sebastian to argue. “I’ll read.”

Alex also grabs Sebastian’s wine glass from where he’d left it on the desk after allowing Sebastian to run upstairs and grab him a bottle of water and a Joja Cola from the kitchen. Other than Robin asking how he’s doing and Maru looking up from whatever she and Demetrius are looking at on her tablet, his family doesn’t break their conversation to acknowledge him. 

Back on the couch, he turns on the television to some sports movie Alex recognized and then allows himself the freedom to eat half the pizza and drink two more glasses of wine while Alex quietly makes a decent headway into the comic. Sebastian can’t help but shoot glances at him every few bites, glancing between the book and Alex’s face. Alex smiles in all the right places, frowns when it’s relevant, and even chuckles at the same points that Sebastian did when he read it for the first time. 

Once he’s eaten three slices – two because he’s hungry and the third because he isn’t quite ready to break the silence – Sebastian lets himself settle deeper into the couch, his elbow and knee pressed comfortably against Alex’s. In this position, it’d be so easy to rest his head on Alex’s shoulder. For a second, he nearly does just that, but he manages to stop himself at the last moment, and instead does something much worse. 

“It’s not that I don’t want them to know we’re friends.”

Alex doesn’t look up from the comic. Instead, he takes a moment to finish the page before turning to the next page. 

“What is it, then?”

He seems relaxed. Casual, like they’re talking about the weather and not one of Sebastian’s hundreds of problems. 

“My mom wouldn’t mind, I don’t think,” Sebastian starts, wanting to choose his words carefully but quickly becoming distracted by the way Alex’s fingertip glides across the page. “But, I’m not sure if my– if Demetrius would be able to keep his opinions to himself. Maru’s nice, but I couldn’t tell you the last time she cared about anything I got up to, so…”

Sebastian trails off, caught like a deer in headlights when Alex turns his head to face him. He looks interested, which only makes Sebastian think about telling him more. Kids talked in school about what happened with Alex’s parents, from the way his mom got sick to how his father was the worst kind of alcoholic. That Sebastian can relate to, but the idea of discussing two drunken assholes while slightly crossed on salmonberry wine and a spliff doesn’t seem like the proper way to divulge that information. 

“You don’t have to explain having a complicated family to me,” Alex says and bumps his elbow against Sebastian’s. “I’m pretty sure I’d rather have you jump through my bedroom window than knock on my front door, now that I think about it. Granny doesn’t know the difference between small talk and gossip.”

Sebastian thinks about the way Alex’s grandmother had smiled at him before giving up Alex’s location without a second thought. He should be worried about what that might mean, what she might be thinking, but Alex is closing the comic book and setting it on the table. 

“I do like it when you tell me things, though,” Alex clarifies. He makes himself comfortable on the couch, throwing an arm around the back of it, which brings his hand dangerously close to the back of Sebastian’s neck. “I’ve known you most of my life, and I don’t even know what you do for work.”

“I’m a freelance programmer,” he hears himself say as he situates himself to mimic Alex’s position, their legs now pressed together from knee to ankle. He keeps one hand sandwiched between himself and the couch and the other on his leg, not knowing what else to do with it. “It’s stressful, sometimes, and I don’t think anyone really knows what I do, but it’s better than being stuck working for some shit company that just wants to use me for basic program analysis. Plus, I would hate sitting in an office all day. Could you imagine me having to share a cubicle with someone?”

Alex laughs, clearly imagining the shit show that would be. Some faceless guy with a new tie every day who wants to chat Sebastian’s ear off, and Sebastian banging his head on his keyboard in frustration. 

“Have you always been into computers?”

“Since the day we finally got the internet up here,” Sebastian nods. “Computers are simple – they don’t expect anything from you and, as long as you give it the right information, it’ll do exactly what you want it to. I like things that don’t require me to be anything other than me.”

Alex must not think it’s as stupid as Sebastian does, because he hums and tilts his head to the side, smiling. He does that a lot, Sebastian thinks. Looks at him and smiles. It’s… well, it’s pleasant, and it makes him feel warmer than he has in a long time, and he can’t blame it entirely on the wine. 

“What’s not to like?”

At first, Sebastian isn’t quite sure he heard Alex correctly. Most of his traits could be considered unlikable: his moodiness, his preference for being by himself, and the fact that he’d rather live alone in a huge city than in a small town with his best friends. But maybe Alex sees something he doesn’t. 

“What do you like?”

The smile grows wider, like Alex had been waiting for an opportunity to rattle off a list Yoba knows how long. 

“You’re smart, for one thing.” He must see the objection forming on the tip of Sebastian’s tongue because he continues, “Sebastian, I could barely manage to hook my video game system up to my TV, and you’re out here horrified at the idea of a life wasted as a program analyst. I don’t even know what that means.”

Sebastian would tell Alex it could be anything from software development to database management, but he doesn’t. He just shrugs and reaches for his glass of wine, enjoying the way the movement forces him closer to Alex. 

“I also like that you think a field snack is a good birthday gift.”

“Shut up!” Sebastian laughs, cheeks heating as he takes a sip and sets the glass back down. He doesn’t know why he does it, but he reaches out a hand to playfully smack Alex on the chest. Alex catches it with his own, holding him there and forcing him to feel the beat of Alex’s heart beneath his palm. “Sam told me it was your birthday, and I panicked.”

Alex chuckles, and the feeling of it travels up Sebastian’s arm and straight to his own rapidly beating heart. 

“Why’d you panic?”

“I don’t know.” Sebastian does know, but saying it out loud seems like a horrible idea. “I’m already bad at gift giving, and I saw you eat them in school. It was either that or–”

“The kiss was nice.”

The kiss was nice. Really nice. So nice that Sebastian wants to do it again, and again, and again. 

Fuck. 

“It was, wasn’t it?” 

With anyone else, Sebastian might have looked away, but Alex’s gaze is hot in the light from the lamp in the corner of the room, and he’s quite literally trapped. And, even though he knows Alex would let him pull away without a fight, he doesn’t want to. He wants to be closer. 

“Top five, for sure.” Alex nods confidently, eyes sparkling as Sebastian gasps. 

“Excuse me!” He narrows his eyes, pushing his hand harder against Alex’s chest. “I should at least be in your top three.”

“I don’t know,” Alex muses, letting Sebastian force him slightly further down into the couch. Sebastian, like an idiot, moves with him. “You might have to kiss me again, just so I can be sure.”

Sebastian isn’t sure if Alex pulls him down or if he throws himself at him. In the end, he isn’t sure it matters, not when his lips are on Alex’s and it’s every bit as hot as he remembers. 

There’s nothing slow or tentative about it this time. One of Alex’s hands quickly finds its way to Sebastian’s hair, both holding him in place and pulling at the same time. He moves up in time with Sebastian moving down, both of them meeting in the middle with the taste of wine and Joja Cola going straight below Sebastian’s belt. And then Alex’s tongue is in Sebastian’s mouth, and Sebastian’s hands are on Alex’s chest, the muscles beneath his touch tensing as Alex reaches his other hand to Sebastian’s waist, bringing him closer. 

“Top four, maybe,” Alex mumbles into the kiss, and Sebastian can’t have that. He’s never been the competitive type, but some strange part of him needs to be the best Alex has ever had. And, if not the best, definitely in his top two. Anything less would be devastating, to say the least. 

“You’re insufferable.”

Sebastian accentuates his point with a nip to Alex’s bottom lip, and Alex responds with a purposeful thrust of his hips. 

“You like it.”

He does like it. He likes it so much it feels like his body has been set on fire. His jeans are too tight, his shirt too itchy, and he hates that Alex’s sweatpants aren’t doing a damn thing to hide the impressive bulge there. 

Rather than answer, Sebastian slides his hands to either side of Alex’s head, holding onto the armrest of the couch as he kisses him harder, like he can claim Alex’s mouth better at this angle. But Alex is the one doing the claiming, using his hold on Sebastian to pull them chest to chest, cock to cock. It’s so much and not enough at the same time. 

“Definitely top three,” Alex groans, dragging his lips from Sebastian’s to kiss a trail along his jaw and to his neck, goosebumps rising on his arms from the sensation of it. 

“Don’t flatter me for the sake of it,” Sebastian somehow has the mental capacity to reply. Alex laughs against his neck, where he nips at the skin there. 

“I wouldn’t dream of doing such a thing.” Alex is telling the truth, and it only makes Sebastian want him more. “I have dreamt of a few other things, though.”

The whine that slips out of Sebastian is involuntary. He’d be embarrassed if it didn’t earn him another thrust of Alex’s hips, adding fuel to the inferno building in his stomach. 

“Like what?”

Alex opens his mouth to answer, and Sebastian takes the opportunity to kiss him again, not ready to move on from that particular place. He’s had a few good kisses in his life, but years of casual hookups with strangers taught him it wasn’t necessary for having a good time. This, though, is something else entirely. It’s all-consuming in the best way possible. 

“What else your mouth can do.”

“Want you in my mouth,” he hears himself say. “Been thinking about it for days.”

Alex’s response is an intoxicating mix of a moan overlapping something that sounds an awful lot like the words fuck and please morphed into one. There’s no time for Sebastian to worry about if this is wrong, because it feels so damn right, and Sebastian is already kissing his way down Alex’s body toward the waistband of his sweatpants. 

“You wore these on purpose,” Sebastian accuses when he gets there, settling himself on the couch between Alex’s legs. He presses the heel of his palm against the base of Alex’s cock and runs it up the length of him, not stopping until he can hook his fingertips around the elastic and pull. 

“I’ll admit to nothing,” Alex says, lifting his hips so Sebastian can ease the sweatpants down. In this position, taking them all the way off would mean getting up or, worse, putting space between them, so he doesn’t. He wants to stay just like this, his left hand braced on Alex’s thigh and his right wrapped around Alex’s cock. 

“You don’t need to.” Sebastian presses his tongue flat against the underside of Alex’s cock and licks him from base to tip, thoroughly enjoying the way Alex’s thighs tense beneath him. “The noises you’re making are all the proof I need.”

It’s true; Sebastian can tell that Alex wants this as badly as he does. And that only makes him want Alex more. If he’d known back in school that this was waiting for him – that they could have been doing this for the last decade – he would have done any number of things differently. In the end, though, all Sebastian has is right now, and he has plenty to make up for. So, he swirls his tongue around the tip of Alex’s cock, enjoying the way Alex’s breath hitches in his throat, and then sucks him into his mouth. 

Call it an oral fixation, or call it a habit only exacerbated by his shit smoking habits, Sebastian has always loved sucking dick. He loves watching men like Alex, usually so confident and composed, fall apart beneath him, above him; their legs shaking as Sebastian bobs his head up and down, sucking hard when he moves fast and softly when he slows his movements down. Finding out what a guy likes and then doing that over and over until they’re gasping out his name is a thing of beauty, and it makes him feel powerful. 

“Fuck, Sebastian.” Alex practically breathes out Sebastian’s name, and his hands find themselves back in Sebastian’s hair, more for something to hold onto than anything else. “You look just as good like this as I knew you would.”

The compliment makes Sebastian’s cock twitch, annoyed at the lack of attention but so thoroughly turned on it almost hurts. He moans around Alex, nails digging into Alex’s thigh. 

“Do you like knowing that I thought about you like this?”

Yes. The word must be written clearly across his expression because Alex smiles down at him, his eyes dark and lips swollen from their kiss. 

“What if I told you I got off this morning to a dream about you on your knees for me?” A whimper tears its way up Sebastian’s throat, and he sucks Alex harder, needing more but unable to ask for it like this. “Knew you– fuck, knew you wouldn’t even wait until my pants were off. Knew you’d need it that bad.”

If anyone else knew him this well after so little time, it would have sent Sebastian running. But the fact that it’s Alex who knows him like this, who can read him as easily as he can throw a gridball, only makes Sebastian reach for his cock, squeezing it through his jeans to try and alleviate the ache building low in his stomach. 

He should be worried about the door and the fact that it isn’t locked. He knows, somewhere in the back of his mind, that anyone could walk down here at any moment, or hear the obscene noises coming from his mouth, but he doesn’t care. Sebastian couldn’t give a fuck if anyone saw him like this. Squeezing his cock harder, he takes more of Alex into his mouth until the tip of his cock hits the back of his throat, and then swallows.

“Yeah, I– fuck, baby, that’s so–”

Sebastian waits for the panic of being called baby to hit him, but it doesn’t come. Instead, he does, choking on Alex’s cock as he makes a mess of his briefs. Alex notices, because of course he does, and moments later his thighs are shaking as he gasps out Sebastian’s name, his release tasting exactly like Sebastian had imagined. Sebastian doesn’t stop sucking him off, but he does slow his movements, alternating between soft licks to the tip and sliding his mouth all the way down until Alex uses his grip on Sebastian’s hair to pull him off with a breathless laugh. 

“Did you–?”

“Yeah,” Sebastian nods, half-dazed, feeling like he’s floating high over the mountain. “Yeah, I–”

Alex uses all of his strength to yank Sebastian up to his mouth, where he kisses him hungrily, his tongue overtaking Sebastian’s without much of a fight. Then, the kiss turns soft, almost reverent, and one of Alex’s hands is slowly rubbing up and down Sebastian’s back. Like this, just the two of them and the magic of whatever the hell just happened, Sebastian can almost believe that nothing about this is complicated.

Chapter Text

Alex

Alex wakes up on the couch with something heavy on top of him. No, not something – Sebastian. 

He slowly blinks his eyes open, taking in the empty pizza box on the table, the television now playing some commercial for cleaning products, and the bookshelf. Finally, he looks down and sees Sebastian still nestled between his legs, one arm dangling off the side of the couch, and his head on Alex’s chest. For a moment, Alex can’t think of anything better. They fit together rather nicely, if he does say so himself, and it answers a question that’s been plaguing him since the age of fifteen. 

His arms tighten around Sebastian for the briefest second, wanting to latch onto whatever this is and keep it for as long as possible. Alex knows he’ll have to get up soon and go back to a morning of lifting weights in his room and sitting on a stool behind the ice cream stand. His grandmother will fuss over his ankle while his grandpa reads the paper, and Alex will have to do all of that knowing what would be waiting for him back here. 

This is bad. Really bad. Easily at the top of the list of mistakes he’s made, somewhere between kissing Haley while drunk and giving his number to some kid in college who’d reminded him so much of Sebastian he could close his eyes and pretend. 

As if sensing the increase in Alex’s heart rate, Sebastian begins to stir, stretching in a way that forces him closer, his face ending up in the crook of Alex’s neck. 

“Morning,” Sebastian mumbles against Alex’s skin. “What time is it?”

Alex holds Sebastian tighter with his left arm so he can reach for his phone, tapping the screen. 

“Six forty-five.”

They’d gotten mostly undressed sometime before they’d fallen asleep on the couch, with Alex in only his sweats and Sebastian in a pair of plaid pajama pants. Pressed together like this, bare chest to bare chest, Alex can’t help but let the memories of the previous night jump to the forefront of his mind before quickly moving south. 

“What time do you need me out of here?”

Sebastian doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he places a soft kiss on the part of Alex’s neck closest to him, and then another one slightly higher. Alex can do nothing but tilt his head to the side and give Sebastian more room to do with as he pleases, not caring if they get caught or not. 

“What day of the week is it?”

Alex doesn’t know. He doesn’t know anything other than the fact that Sebastian is kissing his jaw, getting closer and closer to his lips, and if he doesn’t kiss him right now, he’s going to explode. 

So, he does, not caring about the fact that they’ve just woken up and most likely don’t have time to be doing this. Everything seems less important when Sebastian is involved, making it easy for Alex to say fuck the rules and reach a hand down to the front of Sebastian’s boxers. 

“Alex–”

“It’s Sunday.”

At least, Alex hopes it’s Sunday. He thinks he’s done the math right, but he’s far too focused on palming Sebastian’s half-hard cock over the fabric of his pants, his own straining helplessly in his sweats. 

“We have until– fuck.” Sebastian presses his forehead against Alex’s as he looks down between them. “Until eight.”

Alex wants to see him. Or, at the very least, feel him. The night before had been incredible, but he hadn’t gotten a chance to really return the favor. Now that he knows he has plenty of time, however…

“Alex…” It’s a breathless sigh accompanied by Sebastian thrusting his hips against Alex’s palm, both of them staring at the head of his cock now peeking out of the top of the waistband. 

“Can I–?” Alex smoothes his thumb over the tip, every inch of him hyperaware of how Sebastian’s body trembles at the touch. “Want to touch you.”

The inability to fully articulate his wants is something that only happens when he wants something this badly, which has only happened once before in his life. It’d been his first time, and he’d been an almost painful mix of nervous and excited. That same feeling threatens to choke him out now, with Sebastian’s face inches from his and the weight of his body on top of him. 

“Yeah,” Sebastian nods. “Yeah, you can– fuck, Alex.”

His eyes are already hot as he watches Alex bring his hand back to his mouth where he licks his palm, his gaze not once leaving Sebastian’s. When his hand reaches the waistband of the pajama pants, he keeps going, spit-covered palm sliding along the length of Sebastian’s cock before he wraps his fist around it. 

“You have no idea how hot that was last night.” Alex starts to stroke Sebastian slowly, spreading his spit around until Sebastian’s lips part and he chokes out a desperate kind of whine. “Knowing that you enjoyed sucking me off that much.”

“It was– you’re– Yoba, Alex, where have you been hiding this whole time?” He thrusts his hips against Alex’s hand, and Alex obeys the command, increasing his pace ever-so-slightly. 

“I found you, remember?” He kisses Sebastian’s temple, unable to stop himself from indulging in the act of kissing someone like him, who makes the prettiest noises when he does. How is Alex supposed to kiss anyone else now that he’ll be hearing these sounds long after he leaves this basement?

“Find me sooner next time,” Sebastian whispers, thrusting his hips again. 

Alex’s eyes fall back to where the pants have ridden down Sebastian’s legs, freeing his cock and giving Alex an unadulterated view of the precum leaking onto his own waistband. If he could, he’d take a picture of just that image and frame it. He doesn’t even care that his own is aching, begging for any semblance of attention. It doesn’t matter, though. Alex can take care of it in the shower when he gets home. Right now, he has one goal in mind, and the way Sebastian’s nails are digging into his shoulder tells him he’s so close to seeing it through. 

“Next time, I won’t let you out of my sight.”

The truth of those words nearly knocks the air from Alex’s lungs with how heavy they ring. He means it – in his next life, or whatever happens, he won’t let years pass between school and now. Instead, he’ll grab Sebastian’s hand on that first day in Pelican Town and never let it go. 

Sebastian doesn’t seem to hear it the way Alex intended, instead stuttering out a breathless laugh as his entire body tenses. 

“Alex, I’m– yeah, like that–” 

Alex captures Sebastian’s lips with his at the same moment the first streak of his release hits Alex’s abdomen, swallowing up everything else Sebastisn might have said. The kiss is electric, all half-asleep abandon and desire. If Alex could wake up every day like this for the rest of his life, he’d die a happy man. A happy and sated man who never wanted for anything a day in his life. 

The kiss slows as Sebastian starts to come down, and Alex drops his dick to run his hands through Sebastian’s hair, then his shoulders and back, exploring all the places he hadn’t gotten a chance to the night before. Sebastian is exactly as soft as Alex said he was. Soft and warm and fitting between Alex’s arms and legs like he’d been meant to lie right there, head spinning and Alex’s name falling from his lips. With one final peck, Alex pulls back. 

“Are we still sneaking me out of here, or am I never leaving this couch?”

Fortunately, Alex’s t-shirt covers the stains on the waistband of his shorts easily enough, and, after a towel-down, he can walk past Evelyn without raising too much suspicion. Sebastian doesn’t stop smiling once, his gaze catching Alex’s every few moments as he pulls on a pair of jeans and a hoodie with a skull on the front. He runs upstairs to check that there is no one in Robin’s shop before guiding Alex up the stairs. 

“Text me when you get home?” Sebastian’s voice is quiet when he asks, as his eyes linger in the general direction of Alex’s crotch, a painful reminder that he really doesn’t want to be leaving even though he needs to. 

“Worried I’ll sprain the other ankle?” Alex asks, mostly to delay the inevitable. 

“If I am?” 

Sebastian chews on his bottom lip, his eyes moving up to meet Alex’s gaze. The hand at his side is tense, as is the one still on the door. If Alex didn’t know any better, he’d think Sebastian meant it. 

“Then I’ll text you.” The smile that spreads across Sebastian’s face isn’t big, but it reaches his eyes, and Alex dips down for one last kiss. Before he lets himself get carried away – before he drags Sebastian right back down to the basement – Alex turns and heads back to town. 

Rationally, Alex knows that this can’t possibly end well. One way or another, this exciting, all-consuming thing is going to fizzle out and die. At some point, Sebastian is going to realize that he can do better than some kid who’s probably going to die in the same house he grew up in, and that’s completely okay. It doesn’t mean he can’t enjoy the present while he waits for the future to come crashing down around him. 

It also doesn’t mean he can’t walk past Evelyn and George in the kitchen, mumble a rushed, “Good morning,” and then lock himself in the bathroom. 

Alex: I’m home with no additional injuries

Sebastian: I’ll tell Harvey he’s off Emergency Watch

For the first time in a long time, the sight of Harvey’s name doesn’t make Alex’s stomach drop to the floor. Perhaps this is the product of time healing a wound Alex had assumed would be there in his chest for the rest of his life. Or, more likely, it’s what happens when Sebastian slots himself so neatly in between your ribs and you can’t imagine him not being there anymore. 

Alex gets himself off quickly and efficiently, though he wishes he could take his time like he did the morning before. Then, he goes through the motions of eating breakfast, making pleasantries with Evelyn, who clearly wants to ask questions, and George, who couldn’t care less. Arms are much easier to work than legs in his current condition, so he skips the beach and focuses on his core and then some light lifting. 

The sun is hot by the time he makes it to the ice cream stand, and Alex is thankful Haley isn’t around to bake in it. She’d spend the whole afternoon draped over the counter and complaining if she were there. It’s a distraction that’s never been asked for; merely tolerated, if Alex is being honest. Besides, the silence gives him time to think, and he has plenty on his mind. 

There’s Sebastian, naturally. His grandparents, getting the house ready for winter, mentally preparing for George’s birthday in the fall, and how he’s going to move forward while accepting his dreams of playing gridball are officially over. He could get a job at Joja Mart, maybe, or help Marnie with the supply store. She’s been talking about expanding for years and attending farmer’s markets in the city on the weekends. Manual labor would keep him in shape, and the repetitive nature of it could help quiet his mind. 

Alex is closing the umbrella when his phone rings. It’s Emily.

“Hey,” he says, locking up the last of the cabinets. “Is everything okay?”

“I have a proposition for you,” Emily replies, and he can feel the conspiratorial smile on her face through the phone. “And the stars have told me you’ll love it.”

Where Haley loves things like fashion magazines and her camera, Emily has an affinity for crystals and tarot cards. Once, Alex had let her talk him and Haley into joining her for a meditation session. The end result had been Alex repeating list after list of gridball stats while Haley took a nap. 

“I’m not risking my life in the mines for you again,” he says reflexively. “Just bat your eyelashes at Clint, and–”

“No!” Emily laughs. “No, I’m heading to Calico for a few days to visit Sandy, and I was wondering if you wanted to watch the house for me.”

“Watch your parrot, you mean?” Alex sticks the cash drawer inside the lock box and begins his journey back home. 

“I just think it might be nice for you to get out of the house. Plus,” Emily is smiling; Alex just knows. “It means you’ll have an entire house to yourself. For two nights.”

Alex waves to George, who’s watching TV, as he steps through the front door and heads straight for his room. 

“Let me guess,” Alex drops down onto his bed. “Haley told you.”

“Of course she did,” Emily says, not skipping a beat. “Plus, I saw you leave the saloon with Sebastian on Friday. It was hard to ignore with the way you were eye fucking each other.”

He knows he should be embarrassed, but all Alex can think about is if Sebastian would say yes to spending the night with him. Yes, Alex had spent the night on his couch, but that had been more of an accident than the intention. Sebastian could have told him to go home at any time and he would have done so without a second thought. This would be something entirely different. 

“When do you leave?”

“Tomorrow morning. I’ll put the key under the mat.”

When she hangs up, Alex drops his phone to the duvet and runs a hand through his hair, thinking. Haley wouldn’t care. In fact, Haley would probably be insulted if Alex didn’t jump at the chance to get Sebastian alone. Most of Haley’s room had been cleared out for the summer, so it wouldn’t entirely feel like they were encroaching on her space. And he could do something proper – cook dinner, maybe, or get takeout from the saloon and bring out Emily’s movie collection. 

Alex: What are you doing tomorrow?

Sebastian doesn’t let the question go unanswered for long. 

Sebastian: Band practice, allegedly. Why?

Alex: Can I call you?

The text has hardly been sent when Alex’s phone vibrates in his hand, Sebastian’s name taking up his screen. He answers before he can lose his nerve. 

“Hey.”

“Hey.” Sebastian sounds a lot more put together than Alex feels. “What bad idea are you about to involve me in?”

Alex inhales but doesn’t hold it for as long as he’d like. Doing this over text might have been easier, but he’d started missing the sound of Sebastian’s voice. 

“Emily asked me to house sit for her,” he forces the words out. “I’m going to be stuck in an empty house for two nights, and I don’t sleep well if I’m the only person home.”

That, at least, is true. All his life Alex has gone to bed with at least one other human being sleeping under the same roof. On the rare occasion his roommate for three semesters at Zuzu University hadn’t come back to their dorm, he’d ended up staying awake the entire night, convinced that someone would manage to break down the door and do… whatever people who broke into dorm rooms did. 

“Well, we can’t have you wandering around this town exhausted, can we?” Sebastian pauses for a moment, and then asks, “Are the weights coming with you?”

Heat floods Alex’s body at the tone of Sebastian’s voice. It’s like he’s a hormonal teenager again discovering what it means to be turned on by the slightest shift in the air, or the way Sebastian looks in class, doodling in the margins of his notebook while the teacher lectures them about who knows what. 

“They can,” Alex settles back against his pillows. “Why? Going to join me for a workout?”

“I’m more of a captive audience than an enthusiastic participant,” Sebastian replies, and Alex wishes he could see him right then. Is he sitting at his desk, lounging on his couch, or mirroring Alex’s position in his own bed? He hopes it’s the bed. Then again, if he were in his desk chair, Alex could pull him across the room with minimal effort. 

“Deal.” Alex scrambles for more things to say, but all he can come up with are a million and one questions that he doesn’t know how to ask. “Come to Emily and Haley’s after practice?”

“Yeah,” Sebastian pauses. “You said two nights, right?”

“Two nights,” Alex agrees. “Why? Planning on moving in?”

“Would you care if I brought my laptop? I won’t feel like walking all the way back here to work on my projects, and working in a new place might help clear whatever block I’ve been having today.”

“Are you sure you aren’t just missing me?”

Alex’s body seizes up the moment the words are out of his mouth, and he worries that he might have just gone too far. This thing is delicate, breakable, and any wrong move might bring it to an end sooner than he’d like. But Sebastian laughs.

“I’m in a good enough mood that I’ll let you think that, just for today.” They’re both laughing then, and Alex hasn’t felt this at peace since Haley left for the summer. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Have a good night, Sebastian.”

“Night, Alex.”

The line goes dead, and Alex leans over to put his phone on the charger. Outside, the sun is setting, lighting up the sky with a vibrant mix of oranges and purples. Sunsets like this are Alex’s favorite, all bold color and cotton candy clouds that soak it all up. The clouds also soak up every last one of the thoughts in Alex’s head that tell him he doesn’t deserve to at least enjoy this while it lasts. 

Chapter Text

Sebastian

Sebastian has walked past 2 Willow Lane more times than he can count, and it’s not until the moment before he knocks that he realizes he’s never actually looked at it. He wants to blame it on the beige siding not catching his eye, and not the fact that he’s never particularly cared about either Emily or Haley. It sounds harsh to admit such a thing, even in his own head, so he focuses instead on the rusted metal sun hanging above the door. A potted cactus rests beside a garden bed with little green sprouts sticking out of it, and there’s a doormat in front of the door that says, “Blessed Be,” above the phases of the moon.

Abigail has been here once or twice, each of those times in high school. Sam had probably gone with her, though Sebastian couldn’t be entirely sure. Partying with that crowd had never seemed like his ideal way to pass a Friday night.

His phone buzzes in his pocket.

Sam: Don’t forget to use protection ;)

Alex must hear the embarrassed groan that Sam’s text elicits because he’s opening the door, a smile spread across his face, with an eyebrow raised.

“I haven’t even made a bad joke yet,” he says, chuckling. Sebastian shakes his head and puts his phone away.

“Just Sam being Sam.” 

Something warm crosses Alex’s expression, and Sebastian tries not to think about it too hard as he steps across the threshold. At first glance, he’s almost surprised to find what looks like a normal house. There’s a desk and a computer along the left wall near a bookshelf and a seating area with two couches around a coffee table to the right. Past them, Sebastian can see a kitchen, and the place is clean, but lived in. Pictures of who he assumes to be family and friends line the walls along with several framed photographs of landscapes, namely the beach and what might be Cindersnap Forest. Whatever Sebastian had been expecting, it wasn’t this. 

“I can take your bag for you,” Alex says. When Sebastian turns to face him, he realizes the door is closed and the sun has started to set, the floor lamp by the couch doing wonders to set the mood. 

Or, maybe it’s just Alex, and Sebastian hasn’t been able to stop thinking about him in the last twenty-something hours. 

“Thanks.” He hands it over before he can do something stupid, like toss it onto the floor and drag Alex down after it. “What is Emily out of town for, anyway?”

There may have been a million and one better ways to phrase that question, but they’re alone again, Sebastian is sober, and Alex is wearing a button-up shirt. Not one overtly formal, but that’s what catches Sebastian so off guard. The top two and the bottom two buttons have been left undone, drawing Sebastian’s attention to the hollow of Alex’s neck and the zipper of his jeans. Alex even had the audacity to roll the linen sleeves up to his elbows, showing off the muscles the loose-fitting material is barely trying to contain. 

He looks… good. 

“Visiting her friend in Calico for a few days.” Alex crosses the living room confidently, then opens a door and sticks Sebastian’s backpack inside the room. If Sebastian looks past Alex’s profile, he can see what looks like horrendously tacky beach wallpaper. “Granny was happy to have me out of the house, I think.”

Heat floods Sebastian’s body at the memory of the last time Alex had left his house. If Alex feels the same way, he doesn’t let it show. Instead, he leaves the door propped open and turns back to meet Sebastian’s gaze, smiling. 

“What?”

“Nothing.” Alex shakes his head, but that warmth is back in his eyes as he takes his time looking Sebastian over. He must like what he sees – an exhausted self-employed fool in a purple t-shirt and black jeans – because he says, “Please tell me you’re hungry.”

An hour later, Sebastian is sitting on the end of one couch and Alex is closest to him on the other, their elbows brushing every time Sebastian reaches for a new Jenga piece. The glass of wine Alex had poured him is half-empty, and he ate so much homemade sashimi that Haley and Emily might have to get used to him sitting right there for the rest of his life. Whatever internet blogger posted the recipe that Alex used deserves to go to bed every night on a cold pillow and to never run out of whatever their vice is. 

“Tell me honestly,” Sebastian says, slowly pushing a piece out of place and sticking it on top of the tower. “How are you and Haley friends?”

Alex laughs, but doesn’t break his concentration, tapping a finger on his bottom lip as he debates his next move. They’d agreed that whoever won the first round got to spend the next asking the other as many questions as they wanted. It’d been Alex’s idea, funnily enough, and Sebastian almost suspects he’d let Sebastian win. The joke is on Alex, though, because Sebastian would much rather ask than answer. 

“She gets me in a way most people don’t,” Alex replies, finally leaning forward to slide an end piece out of the fourth level from the top. “I mean, she listens to me when she lets me talk. And she’s not afraid to tell me things I don’t want to hear.”

“Like what?” It seems like an obvious follow-up question, but Alex frowns, and Sebastian hates that he finds it charming. A grown man pouting shouldn’t make Sebastian want to scoot closer and undo the third button on said man’s shirt. 

“That I’m in my head too much.” He doesn’t speak again while Sebastian takes his turn, and Sebastian waits patiently, curious. The idea of Alex’s mind being anything less than happy to be here hadn’t occurred to him before.

Another round of moves goes by in silence, both of them keeping their eyes on the Jenga tower as Sebastian tries to come up with another question. 

“Remember at the Luau when I told you I like storms?”

“Of course.” The way Alex says those two words sends a chill down Sebastian’s spine, almost like he’s offended that Sebastian would ask such a thing.

“I like storms because my mind is always loud.” Sebastian moves another piece to the top, though the tower wobbles for the briefest of seconds. “And, at the beach during a storm, everything else is loud, too.”

Alex smiles. 

“Aren’t I supposed to be telling you things?”

Yes, he was, but Sebastian had been wanting to tell him that for days now, and it felt like the right time. In fact, Sebastian can’t quite comprehend how good it feels to tell Alex something he hasn’t told anyone else, like bit by bit, some of the space that exists between him and other people is decreasing. 

“Fine,” Sebastian concedes. “Who was your first crush?”

“You.”

Alex doesn’t hesitate, taking his turn, and the tower stays upright. 

“I’m serious,” Sebastian reaches for a piece before he can have a chance to acknowledge how badly he wants to look at Alex, especially after something like that. But he can’t look, not if it’s not true. “Who was it?”

“You,” Alex repeats, and in Sebastian’s periphery, he shakes his head gently. “From the beginning, probably, but definitely in high school.”

His voice is neutral, calm, like he goes around admitting this sort of thing all the time. Sebastian, on the other hand, is fighting back a million and one questions and urges, each one battling for control of his mouth and his hands. 

“What was it about me?” Sebastian knows that this is one question he definitely should not ask, but it’s Alex, and when Sebastian thinks back on his high school experience, he can’t see one reason why he might have had a crush on him. 

“I like that you think you’re mysterious.” When Sebastian turns to look at him, Alex is already staring. And smiling. “What? I spent enough time watching you to know that you’re not half as mean as you pretend to be. Sure, you might only like two or three people at a time, but those people get a lot out of you.”

Alex is quiet for a moment, contemplative and far too happy with himself. Then, he adds, “And I’m happy that hasn’t changed.”

“I’ve changed plenty.” The words leave Sebastian’s mouth hesitantly, like even they’re sure he’s lying. 

“Of course, you have.” Alex is mocking, smirking, even, but Sebastian can’t bring himself to be annoyed. All he feels is heat building in his chest beneath the weight of Alex’s gaze, and this insatiable need to reach out his hand and touch him. “You definitely didn't wear that shirt at least five times in high school.”

The next move that Alex makes is a risky one, and both of them hold their breath as he somehow manages to ease out an end piece toward the bottom, and the tower wobbles for a few seconds. 

“Do you think we could have been friends?” Sebastian makes a safer move and continues picking pieces from the top.

“I don’t know.” Alex leans forward, forearms resting on his knees as he tilts his head to the side, thinking. Sebastian’s never seen someone take this game so seriously. “I’m happy we have right now, though.”

He takes his turn and then pulls back slightly, waiting for Sebastian to make his. Only Sebastian couldn’t care less about Jenga or asking Alex more questions. It’s there again – that tugging sensation in the palms of his hands that makes him reach across the few feet of space between them and push Alex back into the couch and then follow him down. There’s the sound of the tower falling over, little wooden blocks scattering across the table and onto the floor, but Sebastian is too focused on how good it feels to be guided onto Alex’s lap. 

The hands on his waist are firm, pressing him down as Alex moves up, their mouths meeting in the middle. Sebastian’s hands can’t decide where they want to be, so they go everywhere, from Alex’s cheeks, where they hold him there for a moment, Sebastian’s tongue sliding into Alex’s mouth, and then they move down to his shoulders and his chest. 

“You knocked the tower over,” Alex mumbles, smiling into the kiss. “Does that mean I win?”

“Yeah,” Sebastian nods absentmindedly, aware of every point at which their bodies connected. “Yeah, whatever–”

They were wearing too many clothes. Why was it that every time Sebastian got his hands on Alex, they were clothed?

“Is it my turn to ask questions?” Alex pulls back to raise an eyebrow at Sebastian – a challenge. Contrary to his earlier internal monologue, Sebastian absolutely would not mind answering whatever questions Alex had. 

As long as he did something about his shirt in the next ten seconds. 

“Just take your shirt off,” Sebastian commands. “Take off your shirt so I– fuck, Alex.”

Alex doesn’t waste any time, quickly undoing two more buttons before pulling the shirt up and over his head. The movement forces his hips up, applying nearly the right kind of pressure to Sebastian’s still-clothed cock. He grinds down in search of more, his hands coming to rest on Alex’s bare chest. 

“Happy?” 

“Very.” Beneath Sebastian’s palms, Alex’s skin is hot, and he can feel how fast Alex’s heart is beating. It shouldn’t make him feel this good to know that he has this kind of effect on someone like Alex, but it does. “You’ve done a great job, by the way.”

“What? On my pecs?” Alex’s eyes are sparkling, his pupils somewhat blown, and Sebastian’s cock is painfully hard now. 

“All of it.” Without fabric in the way, Sebastian’s hands take their time exploring every dip and curve of Alex’s muscles. “Your pecs, your biceps… whatever these are…”

Sebastian pokes at Alex’s abs and watches in awe as they tense beneath his touch. He grinds his hips forward almost instinctively, needing something to ease the ache steadily increasing toward throbbing behind his zipper. 

“Do you think you could come like this?” The thrust that accompanies Alex’s question has Sebastian reaching for Alex’s shoulders to brace himself. 

“Why?” Sebastian’s face flushes even as a ripple of desire fans out across his back and down his spine. “Because of the other night?”

“Yeah.” Alex’s grip on his waist tightens, denim digging into Sebastian’s hips hard enough that, in any other situation, it would have hurt. But, here, like this, Sebastian wouldn’t mind if Alex squeezed harder. “I haven’t stopped thinking about it.”

Just the idea of Alex thinking about something like this has Sebastian’s hips rolling forward again, eager to please. There’s just something about the man moaning beneath him that makes Sebastian want to please, a sharp contrast to the way most everyone else makes him feel. It’s not just enough that it’s good – Sebastian thinks he’d do anything Alex asked as long as he asked it shirtless. 

“You mean like this?” He adds more pressure this time, smiling to himself as Alex’s head drops to the back of the couch. 

“Yeah,” Alex nods, throat bobbing as he swallows. “Yeah, I want to see you come just like that.”

“Kiss me.” That is something Sebastian has never said to another human being. “Kiss me and tell me–”

But Alex’s lips are on his before he can finish the sentence, and Alex smoothly repositions them on the couch so that one of his thighs is slotted firmly between Sebastian’s legs, making it easier to chase the friction he needs. Then, he’s grabbing at the hem of Sebastian’s shirt and lifting up, and Sebastian knows that he should stop him, or at least try to keep himself somewhat covered, but it’s fucking Alex, and he can’t seem to tell the man no. 

“I could look at you all day.” Alex’s eyes follow his hands as they travel from Sebastian’s neck to his shoulders, then down his arms, a thumb tracing the outlines of the flowers on his arm. “You have no idea how pretty you are.”

Goosebumps rise on Sebastian’s arms at the compliment, and he tries to be bothered by it, but all he feels is good. So good it’s going to his head and making him believe every word out of Alex’s mouth. 

“You think I’m pretty?” Talking over the rush of heat coursing through his body is proving difficult. Then, Alex’s hands are guiding his waist forward again, and all hope of forming a coherent sentence joins the Jenga pieces on the floor. 

“You’re a lot of things, Sebastian.” Alex’s eyes focus on watching Sebastian’s movements up and down his thigh. “Smart, interesting, creative, funny – and, yes, pretty.”

Until this very moment, a compliment like this would have sent Sebastian running for the door. Now, beneath the pleasure licking its way up his spine, he has a feeling that sex of any kind without words like these won’t be half as good. Is Alex Mullner ruining him for other men?

“Do you like riding my thigh?” Of course, he remembers that he’s supposed to be asking questions.

“Yoba, Alex–”

“Do you?”

“Yes.” 

Too quick. Everything is building too quickly for Sebastian to stop it. It’s too much and not enough; he needs more of the sweat pooling on Alex’s temples and the way his biceps flex each time he pulls Sebastian’s hips forward, and how his abs tense with each thrust up to meet him. 

“Do you wish you were riding me?”

“Yes!” The truth is out of his mouth before Sebastian can stop it, but he doesn’t care. He’s gotten more in the way of sexual contact from Alex in the last three days than he has with anyone in months. And, because it’s Alex, all it does is make Sebastian crave more. “Fuck, Alex, I might–”

“Please.” Alex lifts his eyes to meet Sebastian’s gaze, all flushed cheeks and glassy eyes, and Sebastian is helpless against it. “Please, Sebastian, I want to see it so bad–”

Sebastian needs to kiss him, so he does, their lips crashing together in a mess of fumbling hands and thrusting hips. The smell of Alex’s cologne is everywhere, all cedar and something else, something completely his own. And he’s breathing like he might die if Sebastian doesn’t come like this, doesn’t come right now –

“Alex, I’m–”

Alex pulls back just enough to look down and watch as Sebastian’s rhythm falters, his body tensing even as Alex keeps moving his hips, working him through it while pleasure rocks his body. Sebastian hasn’t been known for his ability to come untouched like this. This is new and exciting, and only something that Alex could make him do. 

“Thank you.”

Sebastian opens his mouth to say something – like, shut up – but then Alex is kissing him and anything he might have gotten out dies on his tongue. This kiss is softer, slower, and Sebastian has no choice but to melt into Alex’s lap without care for how it might make him look. 

“Should we get you in the shower?” Alex asks, kissing along Sebastian’s jaw and throat as he rubs circles into Sebastian’s hips just above the waistband of his jeans. 

“What about you?” 

“There’s plenty of room,” Alex nips at his skin. “If you really want–”

“I do.” Sebastian risks gliding forward again, his cock sensitive but somehow still half-hard. “I really, really do.”

Rather than release him so that Sebastian could walk to the bathroom with some dignity, Alex opts for simply lifting both of them from the couch, Sebastian’s legs around his waist. Sebastian knows he should ask about Alex’s ankle, but he ends up distracting himself with the feel of Alex’s hair between his fingers and the pulse in Alex’s throat beneath his lips. Alex, he thinks, is going to be the death of him. At least, if recent history is anything to go by, it will be quick and feel amazing.

Chapter Text

Alex

The following morning, Alex tries and fails to slip out of bed and make it to the beach in time to work out. He’s sandwiched between Sebastian and the wall, Sebastian’s back pressed close to his front. 

It shouldn’t come as a surprise how well they fit together. On a couch, in the shower, beneath Haley’s bright yellow duvet – Sebastian neatly fills out all the places where Alex lacks. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Alex knows he should try to stop whatever is happening. The realization had hit him last night the moment Sebastian fell to his knees in Haley’s shower, all dark eyes and puffy lips wrapped expertly around his cock. 

Yoba, Alex shouldn’t think about that. Not like this, with Sebastian’s ass pressed almost purposefully against his awake and all-too-eager dick. If it were just sex, Alex might be able to look past the way his heart jumps every time Sebastian asks him a question and processes an answer he hadn’t expected. And there’s the rush that goes straight to his head each time Sebastian smiles, plus the fact that it’s become nearly impossible for Alex to think about anything, or anyone, else. In fact, he can’t remember the last time he called Haley. 

He needs to get out of this bed now. Out of this bed and down to the beach, or at least to the kitchen, where he can make them coffee and try to get his mind and body on the same page. 

As soon as Alex shifts, Sebastian grumbles and turns onto his back, throwing out an arm to block Alex’s exit. 

“Do you ever take a day off?”

Alex chuckles and props himself up on an elbow so he can look at Sebastian better. Half-asleep, there’s no trace of the perpetual slight frown or how his eyebrows furrow when he’s trying to decide how he should feel about something. A few streaks of pale morning light filter in from the window, lighting up the side of his face, highlighting the slight flush in Sebastian’s cheeks. The flush that’s been there since Alex ran his hands through Sebastian’s wet hair, tugging on the strands, holding him in place as he –

Damn it, Alex.  

“Why would I?” He forces a shrug. “A body like this isn’t made on a day off.”

If Sebastian is tired of hearing Alex talk about his muscles, he doesn’t show it. In fact, he seems too busy finally looking around Haley’s room in the daytime, taking in the beach wallpaper and the collections of photographs on the walls. Above her vanity, Haley used a clothesline to make those Polaroid walls the girls in college thought made them look cool. Alex still doesn’t know if he should be proud or embarrassed to be in just as many of the pictures as Emily. 

“Your initials are ATM?” Sebastian asks, sitting up in the bed to lean forward and squint, his eyes focused on a framed photo on Haley’s vanity. It’s from his last game of high school gridball, with Haley in her cheer uniform and Alex, covered in sweat and dirt, holding her up bridal style. The frame has HEC ♡ ATM written on the bottom in pink paint marker. 

Alex does slip out of bed then, granting himself the small pleasure of letting his lips graze along Sebastian’s temple as he goes. They’d had the foresight to sleep with underwear on, though his grey boxers are doing little to cover the almost-erection he’d had up until Sebastian reminded him that he has a middle name. 

“Do you want breakfast?” Alex asks, digging around in his bag for a pair of sweatpants. 

“Sure.” The weight of Sebastian’s gaze is heavy on Alex’s profile as he finds what he’s looking for and shoves one leg unceremoniously into the sweats. “I can make coffee, if you–”

“I’ve got it.” Alex pulls on a t-shirt and pulls himself up to his full height. He knows the moment his eyes land on Sebastian still in bed, he’s going to want to slip back in beside him, and he can’t. Not with the intense itching feeling presently clawing its way up the side of his neck and across his chest. “Just pretend you’re on vacation since I know you don’t take days off either.”

That earns him a smile – a smile that quickly gives way to the long expanse of Sebastian’s chest and abdomen, all flat and covered in little patchwork tattoos that Alex hasn’t had the time to properly trace with his fingertips. There’s one in particular, a little frog just above his hipbone, that’s working overtime, trying to drag Alex’s eyes lower to where the duvet had bunched up around Sebastian’s hips. 

In the kitchen, Alex busies himself with starting the coffee pot and digging through the fridge for the things he’ll need to make a complete breakfast. Emily, the saint that she is, fully stocked it before she left, with a pink post-it note on top of the egg carton. 

Don’t forget you’re eggs-tra special.

He’s smiling at the note when Sebastian emerges from Haley’s bedroom, shirtless but wearing black ripped jeans. His hair is sticking out every which way, and he runs a hand through it as he yawns. 

“You sure you don’t need any help?” Sebastian asks, coming to a stop just close enough that Alex could touch him if he wants to. 

“Just sit back and relax,” Alex says, grabbing eggs, milk, and cheese from the fridge. 

“That sounds exhausting.” Sebastain hovers for an extra moment, his eyes flitting between Alex and the cabinets he’s digging through to find a pan. “Do you mind if I get my laptop set up?”

“Go ahead.” Alex pauses to rifle through one of the drawers before pulling out a notebook. “The wifi password is in here somewhere.”

It’s Emily, not Haley, who’d been smart enough to make a communal notebook with important information, like the wifi password and numbers for emergency services such as Poison Control. She’s gone so far as to include everyone’s astrological charts, their favorite gifts, and their orders from the saloon. Alex hopes Sebastian doesn’t see what’s next to his name. 

Alex: Complete Breakfast, Salmon Dinner, Field Snacks, Eggs, Guys Who Wear Purple

That last bit had been added by Haley sometime during college, before Alex walked away from a gridball career to take care of Evelyn. She’d tried insisting he stay in school, as did George, but George couldn’t do much in his wheelchair, and Alex would have never forgiven himself if something happened and he wasn’t home. He still wouldn’t, which is why gridball is officially off the table. The sprained ankle had been a warning, and he intends to heed it. Now, if the universe could send him some sort of warning about Sebastian, that would be ideal.

In the living room, Sebastian is busy setting up his laptop on the coffee table. The glimpses of his profile in Alex’s periphery are all focus, no indication that he snooped through the notebook to find other embarrassing things, like a list of Alex’s favorite bands or the phone number that had once belonged to his dad, Thomas. 

He doesn’t know if it still works. Then again, Alex doesn’t know if it had ever been a good number. Phone service in Pelican Town hadn’t been the best when he’d moved there after his mom got sick, and neither she nor his grandparents had ever seen a use for it. Emily thought it was important, though, just in case. If anything happened to that notebook, the number would be lost forever, along with any definitive proof that Alex had a dad at all. 

“Hey.” Something soft touches Alex’s arm, and it takes him a moment to see that it’s Sebastian, no longer on the couch. “I think the pancakes have had enough.”

Alex keeps his eyes focused on the mixing bowl in front of him, the batter he’d been beating just shy of being considered whipped. 

“Sorry.”

He hears the sharp edge of his tone as he sets the bowl down and reaches for the burner on the stove, but he doesn’t do anything to make up for it, and for a painfully long moment, he feels as if he’s back in high school listening to a teammate talk about the car his dad just bought him and where they’re being taken to eat after the game. 

“Are you okay?” Sebastian doesn’t move closer, but he doesn’t leave, either, and for a moment Alex considers telling him. Instead, Sebastian’s phone vibrates on the kitchen table where he left it, and Alex pours the eggs into the pan. “Shit, it’s Sam. Damn it.”

“Is he okay?”

“It’s his birthday.” Sebastian throws himself down in a chair at the table and answers. “Hey, Sam. What? Yoba, Sam, can you be normal for five minutes?”

His cheeks flush a deep shade of red, and Alex hopes it’s because Sam said something about him. As the first of the pancakes cooks, Alex busies himself with cutting up some of the potatoes on the counter to make hashbrowns. He’s just finishing that task when Sebastian’s voice catches his attention. 

“I’m actually staying here tonight– no, Sam, you can’t invite yourself over–”

“Yes, he can.” The words are out of Alex’s mouth before he can stop them, and when he turns to face Sebastian, they both share a look of confusion. 

Now that he’s had the idea, Alex thinks he should be rather proud of himself. The only thing worse than being alone with Sebastian is being wrapped up in the idea of his dad, with Sebastian looking at him like he wants to help. It’s the same expression Haley has when she feels the same way, usually in the Spring when Alex offhandedly remembers he missed his dad’s birthday. Or, what he thinks is his dad’s birthday. It’s in Spring; that much he knows. He feels it’s the eighth, but that could just be his mind wanting a date while knowing it doesn’t have one. 

“I– hold on, Sam, Alex is making poor decisions.” Sebastian holds the phone away from his ear, and Alex can hear what sounds like a lot of excited yelling and clapping. “Are you sure you want to deal with that?”

“There’s plenty of room.” Alex shrugs and turns back to the pan to flip the first round of pancakes. “Abigail can come too, if she wants.”

More yelling is emitted from the phone, and Sebastian looks like he’s just been sentenced to a month in a corporate office somewhere. Slowly, he brings the phone back to his ear. 

“Yeah, okay, fine,” he grumbles. “But don’t come until around seven. I have work to do, and Alex doesn’t need to be subjected to whatever you’re on today longer than necessary. Okay. Yes. Sam– Yoba, yes, Sam, I love you, too. Bye.”

Sebastian hangs up the phone and then starts to laugh. He laughs hard enough that Alex has no choice but to laugh, too, the sound of it soaking up the unease in his chest until there’s nothing left except for butterflies. 

“I hope you know what you signed up for,” Sebastian says. Alex doesn’t answer, but he does turn around to offer him a wink, which makes Sebastian blush more. 

Sebastian spends the rest of the time it takes Alex to make breakfast messing around on his computer. When Alex is about ready, Sebastian returns with the notebook and hands it off before searching the cabinets for plates and coffee mugs. He pours Alex a cup, and it’s the first time in years that Alex accepts it. If Evelyn could see him, sitting at a table long enough to finish two plates and three cups of coffee, she’d march him right to the clinic. 

It’s nice, though, and Alex lets himself indulge for as long as possible. Without a workout routine taking up much of his morning, Alex finds he has an unimaginable amount of time, and he spends it listening to Sebastian complain about one of the coding jobs he recently accepted. By the time he has to leave to open the ice cream stand, all thoughts of his dad and his already-wasted future have gone silent, and Alex is looking forward to that evening. 

“You go,” Sebastian says, getting up from the couch the moment Alex heads for the dishes. “I’ll handle it. It’s the least I can do, anyway.”

He’s still shirtless, and Alex doesn’t want to leave, but he forces himself to listen. An urge bubbles up from somewhere deep in his chest that begs him to kiss Sebastian before he leaves. Instead, he just smiles and asks if Sebastian is sure. 

“Go before Marnie hates us both,” Sebastian says with a roll of his eyes and a nod of his head toward the door. Alex obeys, helpless against a direct command from Sebastian. 

He calls Haley to catch up with her on his way to the ice cream stand, and they stay on the phone until Alex has everything set up. He doesn’t tell her about the night before, or how his morning started, and she doesn’t ask. They chat about other things, like the photos she took on a hike along the coast and how she wishes she could stay in Zuzu City forever. 

“Don’t worry,” she adds when she feels Alex go quiet. “You’re stuck with me until the end times.”

The afternoon passes by uneventfully. Mayor Lewis stops by for his usual two scoops of butter pecan, Elliot debates for ten minutes between two flavors before settling on cherry vanilla on a cake cone, and Gus sneaks out between Pam’s rounds of beer to grab a scoop of coconut crazy, “Before he goes crazy.” Or so he says, anyway. 

With five minutes left in his shift, Alex cashes himself out for a pint of birthday cake ice cream. He’s seconds away from putting the lid on the container when his phone vibrates. 

Sebastian: Do you want anything from Joja Mart? I realized I should probably feed the leech that is my best friend

Alex: I’ll go with you. Let me just bring this ice cream back real quick and put it in the freezer

He’d originally typed the word home but backspaced it before sending. Something about calling Haley and Emily’s house home, in the context of sharing that space with Sebastian, seemed like the kind of thing that only sounded good in his head. 

Alex is wiping down the counter when a figure appears in his periphery. It’s Sebastian, clothed, thank Yoba, smiling at him. 

“I can run that home real quick while you finish,” Sebastian says, not skipping a beat over the use of the word that almost sent Alex into his second spiral of the day. “Both of my ankles are in working order; it shouldn’t take me that long.”

Now that Sebastian has mentioned his ankle, Alex is acutely aware of the dull ache radiating out from his foot. It would have been smart to sit today, but all this sitting and limited exercise has him feeling more on edge than usual.

“Yeah,” he agrees, smiling. “I’ll race you. The loser buys the winner a treat.”

Sebastian wins. Whether it’s because he’s actually fast or Alex takes his time taking down the umbrella and locking the cash box, the world may never know. All that matters is that Sebastian is smiling as they make their way to Joja Mart, their arms brushing every few steps because Sebastian doesn’t know how to walk straight and talk at the same time. 

They splurge on most of Sam’s favorites, from a 12-pack of Joja Cola and a box of maple bars to a 24-count case of some specialty beer that Alex tries not to wrinkle his nose at. On their way back to Haley and Emily’s, Sebastian makes a quick detour to the saloon where Gus has a pizza for Sam on standby. He slides Alex a salad before winking, and Alex tries not to think too hard about what that might mean. Shane is staring too, more curious than annoyed. Alex wants to think about that, but Sebastian almost trips over a chair on his way out of the saloon, and Alex takes the pizza and two of the bags from his hands to make it easier to carry. 

“But you’re injured,” Sebastian tries to argue when they get outside. 

“Injured and still stronger than you,” Alex quips, earning him a gasp and a smack on the arm. 

“Rude,” Sebastian grumbles. “If I wasn’t into it, I’d try and test your balance.”

Little does Sebastian know that simply being around him is a test of Alex’s balance. His teammates used to make fun of how much he focused on his core strength, saying all that mattered was how hard and far he could throw a gridball. Alex is thankful he didn’t listen to them. 

Back at the house, Alex puts the drinks in the fridge while Sebastian lays the food out on the table. He’d bought paper plates when Alex wasn’t looking, but Alex had bought him something, too, when his back was turned. 

“Your prize,” Alex says, holding out the keychain. He’d noticed a collection of them hanging off Sebastian’s backpack the night before, and when he’d seen it at the checkout line for only three gold, he figured he should let himself indulge in one impulse today. 

Sebastian’s eyes light up at the sight of it, and he immediately drops the napkins onto the table before rushing over. He’s going too quickly to stop himself, practically sliding straight into Alex – and Alex doesn’t budge, instead sliding an arm around Sebastian’s waist to hold him steady as he holds the keychain in his hands. 

“It’s adorable!” Sebastian smiles and holds it up for Alex to look at. An enamel frog carrying a kitchen knife smiles back at him, equal parts cute and terrifying. “I’ve been wanting a frog for ages. When did you have a chance to–? No, never mind. I like not knowing. I know exactly where I’m going to put it.”

He leans up and places a soft peck just to the side of Alex’s mouth, and they both freeze for a moment, their gazes locking. It’s Alex who dips his head down to kiss him, soft and deliberate, the product of having gone a whole day without indulging in the peace that Alex finds there. 

It’s impossible, Alex realizes as Sebastian heads for his backpack, to keep himself from touching Sebastian when he gets that close. The moment he has a hand or an arm on Sebastian, it’s game over; every want and whim he’s had since his teenage years just comes rushing to the forefront of his mind and down to his dick, making it difficult to think of or focus on anything that isn’t Sebastian. It’s terrifying and exciting, and Alex can’t decide if he should take it and run or sprint in the opposite direction once his ankle can manage it. 

While he’s debating the merit of both options, there’s an enthusiastic knock on the front door. Sebastian rushes to finish sliding the keychain onto its new home, right beside a cartoon computer and a pair of acrylic bat wings, before heading to the door. 

“The party has arrived!” Sam exclaims the moment Sebastian pulls it open. He steps over the threshold and into the living room, a backpack slung over one shoulder and a notebook tucked under the other. “Abigail got grounded for trying to sneak into the mines last night, but she sends her love and luck on our quest.”

“Sam,” Sebastian grumbles, closing the door behind him. “Alex doesn’t want to play Solarion Chronicles.”

Sam turns to Alex, pouting. Alex doesn’t know what Solarion Chronicles is, or how to play, but it’s Sam’s birthday. If it’s his birthday wish to play that game, Alex will make sure it happens. 

“Yes, I do,” he says, trying to lean as casually against the archway to the kitchen as possible. The key to appearing confident, Alex learned early on in his life, is to pretend that everything is normal. Boring, even if you’re just now realizing you’re spending a night in your best friend’s house playing a game you’ve never heard of with a guy you’ve liked since it was called a crush and his best friend. “Happy birthday, Sam.”

Sam turns to smile at Sebastian, victorious, as Sebastian stares at Alex with a mix of admiration and betrayal that makes his body go slightly fuzzy. 

“I knew I liked you,” Sam says as he drops his backpack to the ground. He’s just bending down to open it up when his eyes catch on one of the photographs hanging on the wall. “Whoa! Did Haley take that?”

Alex turns to follow Sam’s eyes to a large boardwalk shot hanging above the computer. It’s a photograph Haley had taken at the beach outside of Zuzu City during their summer before college. The boardwalk is empty, save for a blurred out smudge sitting at a bench in the distance facing the waves. Seagulls fly by overhead, casting long shadows down on the sunwashed pier and the closed game booths, and it looks as cold as it had felt. 

“Yeah,” Alex smiles to himself, remembering how it had felt to see that picture for the first time. That morning had felt like hell, and Haley managed to turn it into something almost beautiful. “She won a contest for it, I think. It was used for promotional ads for a while.”

“That’s so cool!” Sam says, at the same time Sebastian asks, “Haley does photography?”

It makes sense, Alex tells himself, that Sebastian wouldn’t know about Haley’s photography. Half of why she’d gone to Zuzu City for the summer was to meet up with friends from college, network, and add to her portfolio. He couldn’t remember the last time Haley and Sebastian had been anywhere together, which meant they’d probably never talked about it. 

“Haley’s got a gift,” Sam replies, going back to his bag. “I saw the pictures she took at Winter Star last year – that article was well deserved.” 

“Thanks,” Alex pushes away from the wall. “I’ll tell her you said that.”

“Here you go, Seb.” Sam starts blindly holding up items from his bag, like a notebook, pens, and dice, for Sebastian to take. “Get everything set up while I see if the pizza in the kitchen is as good as it smells.”

“We also got you birthday cake ice cream,” Alex calls after him, already moving to help Sebastian set everything down on the coffee table. 

“You’re a god, Mullner!” Sam yells back. Sebastian chuckles as he drops down onto the couch. 

“What?” Alex asks, sitting beside him. “I remember you saying something vaguely similar recently–”

“Shut up!” Sebastian chides, elbowing Alex in the bicep while he laughs. “Besides, I refuse to be held responsible for anything I say while your shirt or pants are on the floor.”

More of that warm, all-consuming heat floods Alex’s body at the memory of how badly he wants to hear Sebastian say those things again, and how good Sebastian sounds while doing it. He needs to change the subject before Sam comes back to find an empty living room and the door to Haley’s bedroom door locked. 

“So, what is Solarion Chronicles exactly?”

By the time Sam comes back with a chilled 6-pack and the entire pizza box, Sebastian has done a stellar job of explaining the rules of the game and how the quest would function. Alex chooses to be a Healer, shocking Sebastian while earning an impressed nod from Sam, who’d thought for sure Alex would want to be the Warrior. Sebastian is always the Wizard, which leaves Sam the task of pretending to carry the quest on his back for the majority of the game. 

They eat, laugh, and take turns making their way through some Necromancer’s Tower to get… something. Alex doesn’t remember the task, but he remembers the way Sebastian said necromancer, and he’s right back to being all too aware of Sebastian’s presence beside him. By the time they make it to the final battle, the last of the beers is being opened, and while Alex has refrained from joining them, he feels like he could take on Dreadlord Xarth all on his own. 

Both Sebastian's and Sam’s characters are quickly injured, and Alex has to make a choice. He glances between Sebastian and Sam, both of whom are staring back at him with wide eyes and pouting. 

“It’s my birthday,” Sam tries, practically hanging off the couch he has all to himself. 

“Is it not a Warrior’s job to die for his lord if it means winning the battle?” Sebastian asks. Sam rolls his eyes. 

“You’re just a Wizard!” Sam scoffs. “I’m not dying for some guy with a hat and a robe.”

Alex makes the mistake of looking directly into Sebastian’s eyes. They’re warm, sparkling, teasing him beneath a raised eyebrow. Sebastian already knows who Alex is going to pick, and he’s basking in the victory of it already. 

“I’ll heal the Wizard.”

“Traitor!”

“Fuck yeah!” Sebastian throws his hands in the air, victorious, and for a heart-stopping second, Alex thinks Sebastian is going to kiss him, because he leans in and one of his hands falls to Alex’s shoulder, holding him there. But he stops himself just in time, pulling back and moving his hand to the back of the couch. “Now, let me end this.”

Dreadlord Xarth is defeated by Sebastian’s Wizard, and the game comes to an end. Sam wants to play another round, but Sebastian is hungry again, and by the time everyone is back on the couch, the television is on. They put on an old Sci-Fi movie from their parents’ teenage years and fall into a comfortable conversation. Sam, as it turns out, has an impeccable sense of humor and an artist's ear for music. He listens to a lot of the same bands Alex does, and is even in one himself. 

“We barely qualify as a band,” Sebastian says. He’s lying longways on the couch with his head in Alex’s lap, and Alex has long given in to the need to play with his hair. 

They do talk about gridball, the point at which Sebastian begins to doze off, until they happen across a documentary about frogs while channel surfing, which wakes him right back up. There is more laughing, some light poking fun, and even a round of Jenga because the moment Sam saw the box, he made them all play despite it being nearly midnight. He falls asleep in between two of his turns, and Alex glances down to see if Sebastian is asleep, too. 

Not quite, but almost. 

“Should we get you into bed?” Alex asks, running a hand up and down the length of Sebastian’s arm. Sebastian nods and then stretches, forcing his head back against Alex’s crotch. He tries not to have an unnecessary reaction to it. 

After some whining, a bit of bargaining, and Alex agreeing to carry Sebastian to bed, they make it to Haley’s room. He lays Sebastian down on top of the duvet and watches as he fumbles with pulling his shirt off and kicking his jeans onto the floor. 

“Don’t judge me,” Sebastian murmurs. “I’m tired.”

“Not judging,” Alex laughs, ditching his own clothes and then sliding into bed with him. Sebastian is on the inside now, situated comfortably between Alex, Haley’s hundreds of pillows, and the wall. 

“This is nice.” Sebastian throws an arm over Alex’s chest and makes himself comfortable with his head on Alex’s shoulder, tucked into his side. He’s quiet for a few minutes, long enough that Alex assumes he’s fallen asleep. Then, he whispers, “Can I ask you a question?”

“Yeah,” Alex answers immediately. Several more moments pass before Sebastian speaks again. 

“Why don’t you drink?”

It’s a question he’s been asked dozens, if not hundreds, of times. Playing gridball and not drinking had been its own kind of practice in discipline. Most often, Alex simply didn’t go to those parties, just like he didn’t go to the ones Haley used to throw. On the occasion that he did go and abstained from alcohol, there was always one person who felt the need to ask. Usually, he told them some lie about not wanting to put anything in his body that could mess with his performance. 

“My dad drank a lot,” he tells Sebastian instead. “Still does, probably, if he hasn’t– you know.”

Sebastian shifts closer and kisses his neck, but doesn’t speak. Alex doesn’t know if Sebastian is waiting for more or accepting that answer. Now, all he can think about is that blurred smudge on the boardwalk and how shitty it had felt to still be drunk at six in the morning, look into the mirror and see his dad staring back at him. He’d walked all the way to the boardwalk shirtless, barefoot, freezing, and Haley had followed like the good friend that she is. And she’d made something prize-winning out of Alex’s realization that he never wanted to feel like that again. 

“I used to party. In high school, sometimes. I never got wasted, so I told myself it was fine. I would never be like him because I’d never let myself get that drunk. Until one night at a party at someone’s house in Zuzu Beach, I did.” Sebastian kisses his neck once, twice, soft and encouraging, and everything came pouring out of Alex all at once. “I didn’t hurt anyone. After what happened to my mom, to me – I could never. But I almost did. I stepped up in this kid’s face, and I just… I left. I left, and my dad came with me, I guess.”

Alex hates who he’d almost become that night. That kid hadn’t even done anything particularly wrong, aside from calling Alex a name that hit a little too close to home. A name that he, as an adult, wouldn’t so much as blink an eye at because it’s true and he’s not afraid of that fact anymore. 

“What’s his name?” Sebastian asks, and Alex keeps his eyes focused on the ceiling fan. 

“Thomas.”

“Alex Thomas Mullner.” Sebastian hums against Alex’s neck, soothing the sting of his full name. “It suits you, you know.”

“Being named after a prick?”

“No.” Sebastian sits up slightly to kiss along Alex’s jaw and then pauses, lips hovering just above his mouth. “The thing you overcame is part of you, Alex. That’s powerful. Very godlike, in fact.”

He doesn’t know if it’s the promise of another kiss or the fact that Sebastian believes such a thing that eases the tension in Alex’s body. He’s not even sure he cares, really. It’s the simple fact it does that he appreciates. No one, save for Haley, has ever made him feel even slightly better about that night or every thought he’s had about his father, before or since. 

“How drunk are you?” Alex asks to try and quell the urges growing deep in his chest, the longer Sebastian stays propped on top of him, their bare skin pressing in far too many places. 

“Enough that I’m going to sleep,” Sebastian replies. He sighs, a happy sound, and slides back into his place against Alex’s left side. “Just know if I wasn’t so tired, I’d worship you all night.”

Alex doesn’t mind that this is how his night is going to end. There’s plenty of summer left for letting Sebastian do whatever he wants to him. Right now, he just wants to spend his last bits of consciousness warm, holding onto the man he’d dreamed about for years, and replay the sight of Sebastian knowing Alex would choose him in a battle against an evil necromancer over and over in his mind. 

So he does.

Chapter Text

Sebastian

When Sebastian was six, he slipped and fell off one of the top branches of a pine tree by the Mountain Lake. It had taken a moment to realize that the sinking feeling in his stomach, followed by the sensation of his ribs getting bruised, wasn’t only in his head. A trip to the Clinic, his left arm in a sling, and too many pain medications later, he learned something: always look before you reach.

He looks now, up at Alex, who’s shielding his eyes from the sun with one hand, separating them from the rest of the world as easily as he laughs. Sebastian can smell the remnants of the workout he’d done that morning, shirtless, the muscles in his back working overtime as both of them watched the stopwatch keep ticking. One minute and thirty-seven seconds – not Alex’s best, but apparently okay given the circumstances. 

“Between you and my ankle, I’m afraid I’ve become a bit useless.”

The urge to grab onto a fistful of Alex’s plain white t-shirt is tenfold, but Sebastian resists, keeping his hands safely in his pockets and focusing all of his attention on how heavy his backpack is. 

“I should let you get going,” Alex says, his eyebrows slightly furrowed. He’s frowning a bit, and Sebastian wants to do something to make him smile again. 

“Yeah,” Sebastian nods, and the movement makes his head pound. It’s not that he’s hungover, because he isn’t. For one brilliant moment the night before, he’d forgotten his plans to leave Pelican Town, and that his freedom wasn’t supposed to include Alex Mullner. “I’m more behind with a few projects than I anticipated.”

That is a lie. Not only does Sebastian only have one active project, but the deadline isn’t for another three weeks. Summer is usually his busiest season, namely because the idea of leaving his house to brave the heat sounds unbearable. It turns out that a shirtless man with emerald green eyes is all he’d needed. 

“Let me know when you get home?” Alex asks, his eyes dropping to Sebastian’s lips and making his heart contract almost painfully. 

“I will.” Sebastian takes a half-step back rather than inch forward for a kiss, and he’s proud of himself. “Bye.”

Alex doesn’t say anything else. He simply smiles and ducks his head, turning the doorknob and disappearing before Sebastian is around the side of the house. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knows he should have done more than walk away. Not a kiss necessarily. Perhaps a wink, or a poke to the bicep – something to indicate that he doesn’t want to leave as much as he knows he has to.

In his pocket, his phone buzzes, and Sebastian feels his stomach drop when he reads the text.

Sam: Send me Alex’s number so we can plan our double birthday party for next year

Sebastian shoves his phone back into his pocket and picks up the pace, needing to put as much distance between himself and the town as possible. He won’t be giving Sam Alex’s number. Not because he doesn’t want them to be friendly, but because they wouldn’t have any reason to talk to each other if Sebastian hadn’t let Sam come over and see just how good Alex is.

Yes, Alex is good. He’s also thoughtful, funny, considerate, and knows his way around a kitchen. And his middle name does suit him, even if he hates where it came from. Learning about Alex’s father might have been a mistake. Almost as much of a mistake as allowing himself to fall asleep curled against Alex’s side, a newfound sense of warmth and familiarity lulling him to the best sleep he’s had in a long time despite the alcohol in his system. If he were someone else, Sebastian might be able to let himself sit in this warmth a little longer, careless of the fact that he’s so damn close to leaving Pelican Town forever.

Those thoughts torment him for the entirety of his walk back home, and by the time Sebastian steps through the front door of his house, he’s finding it somewhat difficult to breathe. He plans on walking right past his mom, but she makes eye contact with him the moment he crosses the threshold and waves him over to the counter.

“Look at what I found this morning!” She says, turning the book around and sliding it toward him.

It’s Sebastian’s yearbook from his senior year of high school, opened to the club page. He, Sam, and Abigail are smiling in the second row of the theater kids who worked on that year’s winter musical – Once Upon A Winter Star. Sam stands in between them, his arms thrown over their shoulders, a broad grin on his face. Abigail is blushing, no doubt at whatever Sam just said, and Sebastian looks like he’d rather die than be in that room. Haley is there, too, in the front row, her hair pulled back in an uncharacteristic bun with wild strands of hair flying in every direction. 

“You guys were so young,” Robin sighs wistfully. “In my head, you still are.”

Looking at the picture, Sebastian thinks that Alex was wrong, and he hasn’t changed at all. That same t-shirt is still in his closet, those jeans are folded up in his dresser, and he still hates having his picture taken, especially in a group setting. His music taste hasn’t changed, and his friend group has remained the same. The only difference is Alex, and that thought has Sebastian turning the page, searching for something.

“How was Sam’s birthday?” Robin asks.

“Good,” Sebastian answers. “Abigail came over and we managed three rounds of Solarion Chronicles before the infighting forced us to stop.”

The gridball team at Sebastian’s high school hadn’t been what most would consider prolific, just an average team with decent players who regularly made it to the playoffs, even if they only won a handful of times. For a majority of them, their athletic careers wouldn’t go much further than college ball if they were lucky. Then, there was Alex, with two school and one regional records to his name. A picture of him takes up one-third of the two-page spread, his eyes somehow visible behind his helmet as he prepares to throw a pass, the muscles in his arms doing that thing that drives Sebastian wild. 

“It sounds like you had fun,” Robin says. “Would you like something to eat? I can make–”

“Jodi made breakfast.” Alex made breakfast, but his mom didn’t need to know that. “Can I take this?”

His mom cocks her head to the side and is quiet for so long that Sebastian has to tear his eyes away from the picture to check and make sure she hasn’t collapsed. Instead, she’s already staring at him, something far too close to understanding hinting at the edges of her expression. 

“Sure,” she says, smiling. “I should get back to work, anyway. Let me know if I can get you anything.”

Sebastian tells her that he will, even though he won’t, and takes the yearbook down to the basement with him. He manages to keep himself together long enough to send Alex a text letting him know that he made it home safely before closing the door. After that, he throws himself down on his bed and reopens the yearbook, skipping to the senior portrait section. 

It surprises him that, while Sebastian hasn’t changed at all, Alex barely resembles the confident teenager staring back at him. Seventeen-year-old Alex almost smirks at the camera, his hair styled in that controlled-chaos way that had been popular at the time. Bedhead, Abigail had called it while ogling over one of Alex’s teammates. 

Only, where that particular teammate just screamed douche-canoe, Alex looks as if he’s almost flirting with the photographer. The suit jacket looks crisp, his tie is perfectly placed, and there’s a light in his eyes that Sebastian has only seen a handful of times. He drops his eyes to the quote beneath Alex’s picture and smiles to himself. 

If we see each other in our dreams, let’s goof around a bit, pretend like we don’t know each other.

Sebastian runs a fingertip along the italic words and reads them again, and again, until they start to lose meaning. 

Part of him wishes they could have done this sooner – that he’d accidentally stayed at the beach too late back when Alex first came home from college, and they’d had the chance to run into each other when he came for his workout. Sebastian thinks he still wouldn’t have been able to look away from Alex covered in sand and sweat, looking like he’d been made to stand in the summer sun. The only question is whether or not Sebastian would have tried to make conversation. 

His phone buzzes in his pocket. 

Alex: Good :) 

Sebastian doesn’t answer. He locks his phone and sets it face down on the coffee table before sinking to the floor, the yearbook now in his lap. 

Photos of Alex are everywhere. Homecoming, Prom, Spirit Week. A wide shot of him washing a car takes up most of the annual carwash page, his white t-shirt completely see-through and clinging to his biceps and abs in all the right places. He’s also taking up a good portion of the Debate Team spread, which comes as a surprise to Sebastian, who hadn’t realized Alex was in any club at all, let alone that one. His name is on the Honor Roll list as well, and he even helped out at the food drive and some animal rescue in Zuzu City. 

Aside from the one picture on the winter musical page, Sebastian appears in two other places: his senior portrait and in the Tech Club spread, where he’s sitting at a computer doing his best to pretend a random classmate isn’t taking his picture. His own quote is far less interesting, being a line from a song by a band whose music still played when he put his catalog on shuffle. 

Sebastian closes the yearbook and tosses it onto the couch, very much in need of a cigarette but not willing to risk his mom noticing the way his hands are shaking. His phone vibrates on the coffee table, and he ignores it, pulling himself back up to his feet and heading for his computer, kicking off his shoes on his way. There, he spends the next several hours in silence, browsing new remote job listings and sending applications to three of them. Then, he starts working on the one project he already had, fixing a bug of some kind for a company’s chat function on their website that none of their internal team can figure out. 

At one point, Robin brings him a plate of fish tacos and a Joja Cola, which he accepts with less feigned frustration than usual. She does pause by his door on her way out, a hand on the frame, and her eyes soft. 

He’d been right to tell Alex that his mom wouldn’t mind knowing about them. What he hadn’t said was that she wouldn’t mind knowing anything about him at all. Sometimes, Sebastian almost feels guilty for the fact that they hardly speak, and even more rarely discuss the things going on inside his head. As a kid, it’d simply been too hard to try and explain them, and by the time he found the words, she had Demetrius and Maru to focus her attention on. 

While that last part isn’t entirely fair, Sebastian reminds himself that it’s too little, too late for that sort of thing. He’s leaving, after all. What’s the point in forming connections now when it’ll all be gone as soon as he finds the courage to look for a place to live, because that’s really the only thing holding him back. That and this thing with Alex that might have gone too far. 

Enough time passes that Robin eventually turns and leaves, and Sebastian waits for her footsteps to quiet before reaching for the tacos. He eats them quickly and then goes back to his work, not stopping until he can no longer ignore the fact that he really needs to pee. Once that is handled, Sebastian checks the time and realizes it’s just after seven, which means he’s successfully made it through the day and deserves a cigarette. 

Sebastian grabs his phone on his way upstairs and doesn’t bother to check it until he’s sitting beneath the pine tree by the lake. The first thing he sees is a second text from Alex, sent shortly after the one he’d read. 

Alex: Is it bad if I miss you already?

No, it isn’t bad – it’s the truth, which is somehow worse, because Sebastian misses him too. Without that little voice in his head reminding him of his plan to leave, Sebastian would have spent his entire day on the couch or in his bed, texting Alex about the yearbook photos. Without that voice, he might not have made it back from Alex’s house at all, choosing instead to follow him inside and forget the fact that moving to Zuzu City means he needs a consistent and somewhat sizable income. 

The other texts are from Sam and Abigail in the group chat discussing plans for the next band practice. Sam also texted Sebastian several more times, culminating in announcing the fact that he sweet-talked Emily into handing over Alex’s number, and he’d no longer be requiring Sebastian’s services.

Sam: Also, I love you

Sebastian replies with a red heart emoji before confirming his attendance at the next practice. His finger hovers over the conversation with Alex, but he can’t bring himself to press it, so he sets his phone back down. He hates this. He hates it so much he lights a second cigarette the moment the first is done and pulls his knees to his chest, his eyes closed as he smokes. 

Twenty-four hours earlier, Sebastian had been an hour-deep in a quest with Alex sitting beside him on the couch, making jokes and getting along far too well with Sam. Life had seemed bright and exciting, like a very different kind of adventure was beginning to play itself out in front of him. One filled with humor and understanding dressed up in a tan, muscled package. 

Now, he opens his eyes, stares up at the branches he’d fallen from as a child, and thinks that it would be so damn easy to reach for Alex. And he wants to, desperately. The last few weeks have felt better than the several months preceding them, and, as selfish as it might seem, Sebastian isn’t sure he’s ready to let go. He wants more, even if the risk is falling from a height far greater than this old tree. 

On a whim, and because all of this thinking is going to his head, Sebastian ashes out his cigarette and gets up, eyes locked on the path that leads to town. Sebastian takes one step forward, then another, and soon enough, the Community Center comes into view. Then, as he hits the stairs, Sebastian realizes he should have texted first, but he’s come this far and turning back would be worse than carrying on, so he persists. No one is in the kitchen as he walks around the back of the house, thank Yoba, and he finds the windows to Alex’s room before anyone else can spot him. 

Alex is reclined on his bed, body angled toward the window as he reads the comic Sebastian gave him before saying goodbye that morning. He’s wearing a grey shirt and black athletic shorts, and his hair is wet, probably from a recent shower. On the nightstand rests his phone and a plate with an untouched sandwich. For several long, body-tingling moments, Sebastian lets himself just stare at Alex, enjoying the way he frowns or chuckles before turning the page. Every once in a while, he runs a hand through his hair, making Sebastian’s own fingers itch to follow their path. 

Then, Alex glances up and their eyes meet. He doesn’t move for a moment, as if he can’t believe what he’s seeing. When he smiles, Sebastian smiles too, and he waits as Alex gets up to come to the window. 

“Hey,” Alex says when he slides the window open. If he’s upset that Sebastian never texted him back, he doesn’t show it, and that only serves to drag Sebastian closer to the window. 

“Hi,” Sebastian chews on his bottom lip and places his hands on the windowpane inside Alex’s.

“Is everything okay?” Alex asks, tilting his head as he leans forward, almost as if he’s going to rest his forehead against Sebastian’s, but decides not to at the last moment. 

“Yeah.” Sebastian nods, taking a moment to breathe in the smell of Alex’s shampoo. “I was just missing you.”

The smile returns to Alex’s face as he pulls back enough to look Sebastian in the eyes. 

“Want to come in?”

Sneaking into Alex’s house through the window isn’t quite the same as reaching for the next tree branch, but it feels that way. The only difference is that Alex is standing on the other side, a hand held out to keep Sebastian from hitting the floor. Just like Sebastian figured he would.

Chapter Text

Alex

Alex knows that he should ask Sebastian what’s wrong, but it’s so much easier to lean back against the window once Sebastian has climbed inside and watch as he slowly turns, takes in the posters on the walls, the contents of the bookshelf, and removes his shoes. Then, his eyes land on a box in the corner, the top of a championship trophy rising above a mismatched collection of old notebooks, the remnants of whatever Alex had attempted to do for the science fair, and his varsity jacket.

“Why’d you throw it away?” Sebastian asks, frowning as he stares at the dust-covered gridball. 

“I didn’t,” Alex says, folding his arms across his chest. With Sebastian’s attention focused on the trophy, Alex is free to study him in turn, searching for the reason he hadn’t texted him back. “Not yet, anyway.”

Sometime around 2:00 pm, Alex realized that he had a better chance of playing professional ball than he did of getting a response from Sebastian. His morning had been spent trying to convince himself that Sebastian hadn’t seemed reserved before he left, only to turn into an afternoon filled with emptying the gutters to keep himself busy, his phone on the charger in his room. After dinner and a shower, he found himself sitting in bed, still thinking about Sebastian and thinking the comic might take his mind off everything. 

Alex isn’t sure what he did to earn Sebastian walking down from the mountain just to see him, but he’ll take it, even if it means letting him know about the Box of Abandoned Dreams.  

“That sort of answered my question.” Sebastian crosses the room and bends down to take the trophy out of the box, holding it up. The thick layer of dust on top of the gridball makes him wince. “I would have thought you’d have this square in the center of some trophy case.”

“Why would I need a case if I only have the one?”

It’s pathetic; Alex knows that. While yes, he’d played in three championship games, only one of them had ended with a win. Yoba must have known that losing might have sent Alex’s life in a vastly different direction. For a few years, that trophy had served as a reminder that Alex had the potential to be someone – a champion, with people who knew his name and wanted to chant it, over and over, until it meant something. 

“That doesn’t sound right,” Sebastian says, glancing between Alex and the trophy. Alex shrugs.

“Good.” He smiles despite himself. “That’s how I wanted to be remembered.”

Sebastian’s eyes meet Alex’s, and for a moment, Alex thinks Sebastian is going to ask him to explain himself. A few heartbeats pass, and quiet curiosity gives way to understanding. Alex holds his breath, waiting, unsure for the first time how Sebastian might react to knowing that he isn’t everything he claims to be. 

Instead, Sebastian returns the trophy to the box and pulls out the varsity jacket, smiling.

“I can’t let you get rid of this.” Sebastian runs a thumb along their school’s logo and the embroidered Captain just above it. Their eyes meet again, and Alex watches, body heating, as Sebastian slips on the jacket. “Do I look as good in it as you did?”

Better. 

Sebastian looks way better in it than Alex ever did.

His black t-shirt with a skull and crossbones in the center looks right at home beneath the green and yellow leather. He lifts a hand to brush the hair out of his eyes, and the first thing Alex notices is how well the dark purple of his nail polish complements the green in the jacket. Sebastian smiles as he models the letterman, pulling on the hem and turning this way and that so Alex can see him from different angles. 

Alex pushes away from the window and crosses the room, no longer able to resist the temptation that is Sebastian chewing on his bottom lip, almost nervous. 

“I like how my jacket looks on you,” Alex tells him as he comes to a stop, mere inches separating them. 

Sebastian has to tilt his head back slightly to look him in the eyes from this distance, and it makes Alex think about every time he’s pictured a moment like this. Some of them are more innocent in nature, like right now, the two of them alone, and Sebastian wrapped up in everything Alex. There are others, though, like Sebastian, in only the jacket, and he tries to force them away before he pops this bubble. 

One of his hands moves of its own accord, reaching for where the top button rests just below the hollow of Sebastian’s throat. The metal button is cool to the touch, grounding despite the slight humming happening just below the surface of Alex’s skin. 

“Why didn’t I know you were on the debate team?” Sebastian breathes out the question on a whisper, and Alex can’t help but take a half-step closer, intrigued. 

“Hardly anyone cared about it,” Alex tells him. “I only did it because Haley thought it would help me get over my inability to speak in public.”

The more Alex thinks about it, the better he should be treating Haley. How quickly could he get a care package together for her? And which friend was she staying with?

“Really?”

“You seem shocked.” Alex leaves the button to trace along the collar of the jacket, wanting to touch Sebastian while also needing to know where Sebastian is headed with this question.

“Not… shocked.” Sebastian tilts his head to the side, and the light from Alex’s bedside lamp casts shadows in all the places that show off how pretty he is. “Do we really not know each other?”

No, but I want to.

The thought is so strong it forces Alex’s hand from the jacket to Sebastian’s cheek, a million of his own unanswered questions getting caught in his throat. He opens his mouth to speak at the same time that Evelyn knocks on his door. Sebastian tenses, squeezing his eyes shut, like if he remains absolutely still, she won’t be able to see him if she opens the door. 

“Can you come help George get into bed?” Evelyn asks over the sound of George telling her to leave Alex alone. 

“Coming!” Alex yells back, thankful for a reason not to derail their conversation and do something rash, like take Sebastian right there on the floor. “Make yourself comfortable, I’ll be right back.”

Because he can’t help himself, Alex ducks his head to place a soft kiss on Sebastian’s cheek before stepping away. He opens the door just enough to slide out of his room and into the hallway, where Evelyn is standing with her hands on her hips and an eyebrow raised.

Fortunately, she keeps her thoughts to herself, and Alex has them both in bed with the lights out less than ten minutes later. They each get a kiss on the forehead – which Evelyn loves and George hates – and he closes their door on his way out. Alex pauses in the bathroom on his way back to bed, fixing his hair and brushing his teeth, trying to pull himself together. 

He can count on one hand the number of times someone other than Haley has been in his room: the farmer twice, Emily once, and now Sebastian. Emily had only been there to drop off a handwritten letter from Haley, lamenting at how boring her day had been while home from school, and wanting an update on the cheer squad drama without making Alex sick. Both times with the farmer had been… no, Alex won’t think about that right now. Can’t think about that right now. 

Not when Sebastian is hopefully on his bed. 

Still wearing his old varsity jacket.

With one final run of his hand through his hair, Alex turns out the bathroom and hall lights, then makes his way back to his room. Sebastian must have read his mind, because he’s exactly where Alex wants him to be, scanning the comic where Alex had left off. He looks up at the sound of the door, and the smile he makes when Alex turns the lock almost makes Alex’s knees buckle.

“I don’t know what I expected,” Sebastian says as Alex crosses the room and comes to a stop a few inches from the foot of his bed. “But, somehow, it makes sense.”

“What does?” 

Sebastian sits up, the comic abandoned and his back pressed against the headboard. He pats the spot on the mattress in front of him, and Alex moves, situating himself in the middle of the bed, his back against the wall and his legs dangling over the edge. 

“You.” Sebastian laughs and then stops, his eyes shifting to the door. “Can they hear us?”

“They’re on so many medications, I’m surprised they were up this late,” Alex replies. But, to make both of them feel a little better – to try and keep Evelyn from snooping too much – he reaches for the TV remote and turns it on, settling on some sports station and turning the volume down low. “Better?”

“Have you always been this… nice?” Sebastian asks the question with a wrinkle of his nose, and it’s Alex’s turn to laugh.

“I think so,” he says, because it’s the truth. “I mean, I’ve never tried to be mean on purpose. Except for that one time I threw out Haley’s favorite lipstick, but I swear she deserved it.”

What other punishment fit the crime of giving his number to a guy who stole his signed Tunneller’s jersey? Other than five months in jail, Alex thinks losing a lipstick that cost thirteen gold is appropriate. 

Alex doesn’t realize that his hand is lying limp beside him on the duvet until Sebastian’s goes in search of it, fingertips running along the back of his knuckles. He shifts closer, extending his arm just enough to be comfortable and keep himself upright on the mattress. Sebastian’s fingers move from his knuckles to his wrist and then higher, exploring. 

“Why did you go to the Community Center that night?” Sebastian doesn’t look up from the patterns he’s tracing on Alex’s skin. 

Alex thinks back to his ruined dream, Haley attempting to find him a hook-up, and smoke coming from a broken window. 

“I needed a walk.” He turns his hand over, palm up, and Sebastian’s fingertip goes there next, tracing along his lifeline.

“Overthinking?”

“Yeah.” Alex swallows, trying to clear out the sound of his body coming apart beneath Sebastian’s touch. “I knew it was you when I smelled the cigarette smoke.”

Sebastian traces the outline of Alex’s hand, then up and down each finger. When he reaches Alex’s palm, he begins the pattern again. 

“Why’d you come inside?”

Their eyes meet, and Alex’s mind goes blank. Sebastian is here, in his bed, touching him – looking so damn good in his jacket. A jacket Alex now desperately wants to take off him. 

“I wasn’t going to walk away,” Alex whispers. “Not when I’ve spent years waiting for an opportunity to catch you alone.”

He feels Sebastian flatten his hand out on top of his, palm to palm, heat radiating outward from that point of contact. It’s not enough, Alex realizes a little too late. This one tiny bit of physical touch isn’t enough. 

“What would you have done?” Sebastian inches closer, and Alex returns in kind, drawn in by the way he licks his lips after asking. “If you’d caught me alone in school. Like, behind the bleachers, or–”

Alex’s cock hears the question before his mind does, immediately interested and all too willing to indulge Sebastian. 

“Or hiding in the sound booth above the auditorium?” A pleased shiver runs down Alex’s spine as Sebastian lets out a soft gasp, pressing his hand down harder, like he, too, needs more. “It didn’t take me that long to find out where you snuck off to during free periods.”

“And you never came up?” Sebastian tilts his head, eyes dropping to Alex’s mouth. 

“No.” Alex gives in to the urge to rest their foreheads together, closing his eyes for a moment to breathe in everything that is Sebastian, his nerves settling enough for him to continue. “But I thought a lot about what would happen if I did. How I’d lift you up onto the desk and–”

Sebastian shifts forward, pressing Alex back against the wall as he moves to straddle Alex’s hips. Their bodies touch in more places now, thank Yoba, with Sebastian’s hands fisting the fabric of Alex’s t-shirt, their foreheads still touching. 

“And?”

They’re supposed to be talking. Getting to know each other, or whatever Sebastian had said. But all Alex can focus on is the weight of Sebastian on top of him, the smell of his cigarettes filling up the room, and the sight of that jacket still around his shoulders. 

It’s obscene how good Sebastian looks in it. He looks like he belongs to Alex, even though it’s always been Alex who handed himself over to Sebastian without so much as a conversation. A passing glance at his first Luau in Pelican Town, when they’d been little more than kids with nothing in common. Sebastian had been ordering Sam through the construction of a sand castle with militant precision. The brush of their arms in the hallway at school, open lockers, and boisterous classmates made it impossible to move without falling practically headfirst to the floor. 

Alex hadn’t just fallen; he’d jumped, and Haley had watched with cautious amusement. Each day that passed, each essay handed back in class and hookup in an alley or stranger’s room in Zuzu City – Alex only found himself wanting this more. Not only the talking, but the chance to run his hands along Sebastian’s thighs and up to his waist, fingers sliding through the belt loops and pulling Sebastian closer, the glide of their clothed erections against each other making his head spin. Every thought, each question, all the possible excuses Alex could find to stop this fly from his mind as it quiets, his being entirely focused on the man on his lap. 

“And I’d kiss you,” he says, the decades-old fantasy playing out behind his eyes as he moves forward in search of Sebastian’s lips. 

When their lips meet, it’s like their first kiss all over again, soft but heated, as if they’ve both been wanting this moment. Sebastian’s hands hold onto the fabric of Alex’s shirt tighter, pulling them closer, and the moment his lips part, Alex takes advantage, sliding his tongue inside his mouth. The taste of wine is gone this time; it’s just the faint trace of cigarettes and everything that is Sebastian, and Alex can’t stop a moan from tearing its way up his throat. 

“Alex.” Sebastian grinds his hips down, and while it eases some of the pressure building there, it also makes Alex’s need increase tenfold. 

“I don’t know if I’d lay you down on the desk,” he hears himself say, pulling away from Sebastian’s lips to kiss along his jaw to his neck, where he nips at the beat of Sebastian’s heart beneath his skin. “Or bend you over it. Both, maybe.”

“Alex –” Sebastian whimpers his name this time, hands abandoning the t-shirt to tangle in Alex’s hair, trying to drag their mouths back together, but Alex doesn’t let him. 

Instead, Alex musters up every bit of core strength he has to maneuver them as gently as possible until Sebastian’s head is on the pillow and Alex is on top of him, between his legs, where he belongs. 

“Need you,” Sebastian grumbles, reaching for the hem of Alex’s shirt. “Need this off–”

Alex sits back and complies, tugging his shirt off and tossing it to the floor. Sebastian follows, tugging off the jacket, which only breaks Alex’s heart the slightest bit, and then his own shirt, replacing the heartbreak with an unadulterated view of his tattoos. There’s the little frog on his hip, and Alex realizes it looks almost identical to the keychain he’d bought. Along Sebastian’s collarbones is the outline of a chain with initials hanging off it like a charm bracelet: R, S, A. Robin, Sam, and Abigail, probably. Alex lets himself imagine another A there, just for him, and his cock twitches. 

A prism on Sebastian’s ribs drags Alex’s eyes there, where he finds a cluster of small tattoos that must mean something. Beside a crescent moon rests an umbrella, and next to that is a spaceship. Alex traces a finger over the beam coming down from the ship, and Sebastian shivers. 

“Alex!” Sebastian whispers his name, but there’s no missing the command in his voice. 

“Let me get this straight,” Alex replies, raising an eyebrow as he undoes the button on Sebastian’s jeans. “I waited roughly fifteen years for this moment, and you don’t want me to take my time?”

Sebastian shakes his head, and Alex can’t help but laugh. 

“You can do that next time,” he says. “Just, right now– fuck, Alex, please–”

Next time.  

The words go straight to Alex’s chest and the little spot he always held for the man, lifting his hips so Alex can pull off his jeans, the remaining boxers doing little to hide the tip of Sebastian’s cock peeking out of the waistband. Alex’s mouth waters on impulse, remembering the feel of it in his hand and wanting to know what it tastes like. 

“Need you inside me.”

Alex needs to be inside him – in fact, he doesn’t think he’ll feel complete until he’s bottoming out inside him, pressed as close as possible. 

He stands from the bed to ditch his shorts and briefs, and when he turns back, Sebastian has gotten rid of his own boxers and rolled onto his stomach, his ass up and waiting. Sebastian rests his head on his folded arms and stares at Alex, smiling, his eyes hooded. If Alex’s cock twitches again, that look is definitely to blame. 

“Fuck,” Alex groans, climbing back on the bed and between Sebastian’s legs, running his hands up the backs of Sebastian’s thighs to his ass. “It’s a good thing I never followed you into that booth. We’d still be there.”

He squeezes Sebastian's cheeks, loving the way they feel against his palms. They were meant for this, he thinks as he moves them higher, up Sebastian’s back to his shoulders. He lowers himself enough that his cock is pressed to Sebastian’s ass as he plants a kiss between his shoulder blades, making Sebastian shiver. Leaning for the drawer in his nightstand brings their mouths within kissing distance, and Alex indulges, fumbling blindly for lube and a condom. Sebastian lifts up to meet him, tongue slipping into Alex’s mouth as he lifts his ass, Alex’s cock rejoicing at this kind of pressure. 

Knowing that he could happily spend forever just like this, and sensing the coming command to hurry up on the tip of Sebastian’s tongue, Alex pulls back so that he’s on his knees and flicks open the bottle of lube. He coats two fingers and slides them up Sebastian’s crack, chest tight as one of his longest-running fantasies plays itself out right in front of his eyes. 

“Would you believe me if I told you I got myself off in there once?” Sebastian asks, pressing back against the pad of Alex’s finger against his hole. “Thinking about you?”

Alex hums, unable to find words, and draws lazy circles over Sebastian’s pucker, torn between drawing this out for as long as possible and just going for it. 

“You looked so good that day,” Sebastian mumbles into the pillow. “Gym class, we were playing baseball. You were the– fuck.” 

Alex presses the tip of his finger inside, and they both moan. 

“Pitcher. You were the pitcher.” Sebastian holds onto Alex’s pillow as Alex brings his finger out and then moves back in, sliding to the first knuckle. “I– Yoba, you were so sweaty I could see through your shirt.”

Alex remembers that day. Not because gym class had been anything exciting, though he did enjoy showing off for the man currently attempting to fuck himself on Alex’s finger. He remembers it because he did the same thing, just in the shower after class. 

“Is that all it takes?” Alex asks, easing a second finger beside the first.

“I saw you in the shower.” Alex’s fingers surge deeper, and for a moment, he worries it might have been too much, until Sebastian’s mouth falls open and he pushes back harder against his hand. “Not you, just your back, and your muscles, and–”

Alex increases the pace of his fingers, pressing into that spot over and over. He adds a third finger, both of them gasping when Sebastian takes it easily, rocking back against him like they’d done this a thousand times. 

“Do you know what I was doing in the shower?” Alex asks, adjusting his position so he can lean down to whisper in Sebastian’s ear while he fucks him with his fingers. Sebastian shakes his head, and Alex smiles. “Thinking about you, just like this.”

He presses harder into Sebastian’s prostate, committing the image of Sebastian’s face when he does to his memory. Nothing will ever surpass whatever feeling is blooming in his chest at this very moment; Alex is sure of it. 

“In my bed,” he continues, nipping at Sebastian’s earlobe. “Mumbling my name. Ruining my sheets.”

“Please.” The word is quiet, but Sebastian might as well have shouted it. 

Alex pulls back again, only willing to part from Sebastian’s mouth if it means ripping open the condom and rolling it on before he positions himself just right. Sebastian lifts his hips at the feeling of the tip of Alex’s cock sliding up the same path his fingers had taken. 

So close. Alex is so damn close to having the one thing he’s always wanted. But –

“I won’t be able to let you go after this.” 

The words tumble from his mouth before he can stop them, and Alex waits for Sebastian to pull away. He’s imagined this as much as everything else: Sebastian realizing that this is stupid, that Alex doesn’t have a future outside of this shit little town; Sebastian choosing better for himself than Alex. 

“Then don’t.” Sebastian turns to look over his shoulder at Alex, cheeks flushed and pupils blown wide. “Just get inside me–”

It feels a lot like coming home. As Alex presses forward, sliding into Sebastian inch by mind-blowing inch, he forgets about anything that isn’t the sound of Sebastian’s breathing or the feel of Sebastian tight around him. His mind is blissfully void of anything that isn’t yes, yes, yes, and he knows that nothing will ever top this. 

“You okay?” Alex asks, pulling back to thrust forward again, slowly, giving Sebastian time to adjust. Time that he apparently doesn’t need. 

“The best,” Sebastian mumbles, lifting his hips and pressing back until Alex is completely inside him. “So, so good. I’m– fuck, Alex, you feel–”

“Yeah.” Alex groans, holding onto Sebastian’s hips as he slides out and then thrusts back in, fast enough to apply pressure without slamming the headboard against the wall. “Like you were made for me.”

A possessive streak has never been something Alex is known for. In fact, his teachers used to praise him for how easily he shared everything with his classmates, from toys to crayons. When it comes to Sebastian, though, Alex means it. This is everything he’s spent half his life wanting and then some, the reality of it so much better than he could have ever anticipated. 

“Love watching you take me.” He’s rambling now, but he doesn’t care. If the words don’t make it out of his mouth, he’ll have no choice but to fuck Sebastian as hard as he can into the mattress so hard his grandma will be making a wedding cake in the kitchen before the sun is up. “Could do this– fuck, forever.”

Maybe it’s the fact that he’s waited so long for this to happen, or the sheer amount of pleasure ripping through his body like a defenseman with revenge on his mind, but he isn’t going to last much longer. The edge is right there, well within reach, and the only thing that keeps him from tumbling over it is the sight of Sebastian lifting off the bed just enough to wrap a hand around his cock and start jerking himself off. 

“Won’t last much– oh! Right there, Alex, please – Alex, I’m gonna–”

The sound of Sebastian gasping out his name mixes with the sight of sweat sliding down his back, dragging Alex’s eyes back down to where he’s entering him over and over. Air rushes from Alex’s lungs as his thrusts lose their rhythm, ears ringing from the orgasm that’s seconds away from tearing him apart. 

“Come for me.” Alex holds onto Sebastian’s hips with purpose, lifting him up higher, pushing into him deeper, losing all sense of time and place. “Come for me so I can–”

“Alex!” Sebastian’s voice cracks on Alex’s name as he comes, and that’s what finally pushes Alex over into the kind of bliss that should come with a warning. 

Alex doesn’t remember collapsing down on top of Sebastian, but that’s where he is when he can breathe again, peppering kisses along Sebastian’s cheek and neck. Sebastian stretches, giving Alex easier access, their hands ending up tangled somewhere beneath the pillow. Outside, crickets chirp into the summer night, and Alex almost wishes he’d left his window open for air. He doesn’t move until Sebastian begins to shift, no doubt being crushed beneath him. 

“Shower?” Alex asks, sliding back and sitting up. 

“Is it safe?” Sebastian replies with a question of his own, and Alex chuckles. 

“Give me a second.”

Slipping out of Sebastian is nowhere near as fun as thrusting in, and Alex tries to ignore the pang of something in his chest as he stands. He takes off the condom and ties it up, tossing it into the trash can by his dresser and making a mental note to throw it out himself in the morning before pulling his shorts back on. The hallway is dark, and the sound of George snoring comes from his grandparents’ room. 

“All clear,” Alex turns back to the bed. “Need help?”

Sebastian makes a series of noises that Alex takes to mean no. He’s stretched out across the mattress now, smiling to himself as he stares back at Alex. A few moments pass as they just look at each other, the heat Alex feels giving way to a warmth that makes his toes tingle. 

Eventually, Sebastian manages to pull himself out of bed and join him in the doorway, rubbing at his eyes with the heel of his palms. 

“Lead the way,” he says, the corner of his mouth tilting up in a slight smirk. 

They shower quickly, and Alex happily accepts the responsibility of holding Sebastian up so he doesn’t collapse onto the tile floor in a pile of limbs and black ink. He grabs two towels from the cabinet and hands one over, not bothering to hide the way his eyes track the towel’s movement across Sebastian’s body. If Sebastian cares, he doesn’t say anything. 

Back inside his room, Alex finds a pair of sweatpants for Sebastian to wear and lays down a towel over the mess the pair of them left before dragging Sebastian back down into his arms. Once again, he’s struck by just how well they fit together, with Sebastian’s head on his chest and their legs tangled together. 

“You’ll wake me up before Evelyn makes me stay for breakfast, right?” Sebastian asks into Alex’s neck. 

“Yeah,” Alex replies, once again ignoring that sharp little reminder that something isn’t entirely right, even if it feels that way right now. “Goodnight, Sebastian.”

“Goodnight, Alex.” Sebastian snuggles in closer. “Sleep well.”

And Alex does. 

He sleeps so well that he almost breaks his promise to Sebastian, but he manages to get him back through the window before Evelyn trades knocking for busting the door down with George’s wheelchair. They kiss goodbye, and Alex doesn’t stop looking until Sebastian disappears up the steps that lead to the Community Center, taking another piece of Alex with him.

Chapter Text

Sebastian

Sebastian is screwed. 

Completely and utterly screwed. Metaphorically and, worse, physically. 

He might as well throw in the towel right now and accept that he’ll never get out of Pelican Town if Alex keeps giving him reasons to stay. Reasons that don’t look like much when they’re all laid out on the table; reasons like the sound of his laugh, how Alex gives a person his undivided attention when they speak, and the promise of figuring out just who this man is beneath years of a carefully constructed mask of muscles and bravado. But, when they’re stacked on top of each other, it’s almost like Sebastian doesn’t want to see a life in Zuzu anymore, and that terrifies him. 

Because if he doesn’t leave for Zuzu City, what else is there? A life spent doing freelance work in his mom’s basement, that’s what. 

And this thing with Alex – that’s all it is. A thing. A run-of-the-mill summer romance that will end with the glow of the moonlight jellies and fond memories. The sooner Sebastian accepts that, and then promptly moves on, the better for everyone. 

So, after letting Alex know he made it home on Friday morning, Sebastian does the only logical thing he can think of: work until his eyes start to burn. This gets him out of lunch and dinner with his family, meeting Sam and Abigail at the saloon, and responding to Alex’s texts. 

Alex: I’m glad

Alex: Thank you, by the way

He replies around 9:00 pm more out of guilt than anything else. Or, that’s what he tells himself, anyway. 

Sebastian: You’re welcome

Then, because he is at least fifty percent guilty, he follows it up with:

Sebastian: Keep the jacket warm for me?

Alex heart reacts to the second message, but he doesn’t text back, and Sebastian understands. He’s being an ass right now. But it’s better this way. Going to Alex’s house had been… a choice. Sebastian refuses to call it a mistake, because it wasn’t. A lapse in self-control, maybe, but not a mistake. Nothing that feels that right and all-consuming could be wrong, which is why he has to put an end to it now. 

I won’t be able to let you go after this, Alex had said, like he’d known Sebastian’s been waiting his entire life for one person to see him as something worth keeping. 

He forces himself to shower, eat the sandwich Robin makes him, and then keeps working until he can no longer make out individual lines of code. At that point, Sebastian goes outside for a smoke and then drags himself back downstairs to sleep. 

The following morning, Sebastian wakes up needing to work on his bike. His poor neglected bike that’s been sitting in the garage for months, needing Sebastian to install new spark plugs. Spark plugs that have been gathering dust in a box next to the recycling bin. It’s pure dumb luck that Demetrius hasn’t thrown them away yet, and Sebastian takes that as a sign that at least one person wouldn’t mind if he left. 

His family is in the kitchen eating breakfast when he steals a cup of coffee and a peach from the fruit bowl on his way to the garage. Their laughter is bright, their conversation uninterrupted, even when Robin smiles at him as he leaves. He does his best to smile back, but doesn’t dwell on whether he managed it or not.

The garage door groans as he lifts it, the sound of metal grinding on metal waking up something inside of him that’s been dead for a few weeks now: the urge to get on his bike and go until he runs out of gas. Sebastian lets that feeling fill him up as he pulls the dusty tarp away, revealing his baby. It’s not a powerful bike by any means, and it’s considered old now, but he bought it at eighteen with his own money and fixed it up himself. 

The guy at the lot told him that building a bike from scratch would be a better use of his money, but he was wrong. A good washing, some work on the engine, and new leather seats had made the thing road-ready, and everything after had been mostly cosmetic or general maintenance. Until last Fall, when the spark plugs had gone bad and Sebastian found himself too bogged down with snow and wintertime cold to replace them. He hadn’t had an excuse for why Spring came and went without the bike being worked on, and with Alex taking up a good chunk of his summer, Sebastian will be lucky if he only has to replace the spark plugs now. 

It’s never good practice to let your bike sit unused for more than half the year, Sebastian knows that. But he also knows that he’s trying his best, and the bike should be at least somewhat understanding of that fact. 

“Don’t worry, babe,” he whispers as he runs a hand lovingly across the handlebars. “I’ll have you back up and running in no time.”

It’s chilly enough that morning that Sebastian keeps a hoodie on as he works, giving the motorcycle a quick once-over to make sure it’s still in mostly working order. Other than needing a good wash, the spark plugs, and a new brake light, things could be much worse. He sets a reminder on his phone for that evening to order the brake light and then gets to work, dragging the bike out to the yard so he doesn’t flood the garage with the hose. 

Maru waves goodbye to him as she heads to the clinic after breakfast, and Sebastian forces himself to wave back. The farmer stops by a few minutes later with a full list of things he needs Robin to build on the farm, from another coop to a slime hutch. He pauses outside on his way back to the farm, watching Sebastian work for a minute before he speaks. 

“I forgot you had that thing.”

Sebastian looks up from the bucket he’s currently dumping a gallon of cleaner into and stops, remembering something Sam had told him at the beginning of the summer. Staring at the farmer now, Sebastian can’t help but tighten his grip on the jug in his hand. 

Where Alex is all soft touches and warm eyes, the farmer – and, who would have guessed, Sebastian never bothered to remember his name – exudes sharp angles and eyes that pierce through everything they look at, even when he’s smiling. The t-shirt beneath his overalls is far too clean for someone who works on a farm all day. Come to think of it, his overalls are clean, too, and his boots. Sure, it’s early in the morning, but Robin’s shop doesn’t open until nine. Sebastian doesn’t know much about life on a farm, but he’d always imagined the farmer being up before the sun, feeding animals, and fixing fences.  

Alex would. 

“Yeah,” Sebastian says dismissively, his mind working overtime to try and see a world in which the farmer could have made Alex happy. “I finally found the time to work on her. It’s been a while.”

The farmer tilts his head to the side, and Sebastian immediately knows he won’t like what comes out of his mouth. 

“Because you’re so busy with your…” his voice trails off, and Sebastian stands up the slightest bit straighter. “What is it you do again?”

In an instant, Sebastian is happy Alex got away from the farmer. He can picture it then: Alex, remembering every little detail about things most people would forget, with his shitty dad’s phone number still written down in Haley and Emily’s house just in case, and the farmer, bulldozing right over the reasons why Alex lives with his grandparents in the first place. A man who gives up a shot at the only thing he’s ever wanted for his family is worth more than whoever is standing in front of Sebastian right now. 

“Computer stuff,” Sebastian says, setting down the jug of cleaner and reaching for the hose. “I should get back to this, though.”

What Sebastian really wants is to tell the farmer to trip over a branch, but he doesn’t. Alex wouldn’t want that; he’s almost sure of that, and while Sebastian shouldn’t be worried about what Alex does and doesn’t want, he can’t help but take that into consideration. Sebastian doesn’t know what happened between them other than what Sam told him – “Ditched him for Harvey of all people,” – and one biased perspective shouldn’t be enough for Sebastian to change his opinion on someone. 

He freezes then, the bucket quickly beginning to overflow with water. Had Alex given up leaving for the farmer, too? Is it possible that Alex, sweet, dependable, innocent Alex, gave up a chance at a life for someone like this? Someone who, for whatever piss-poor reason, tossed him aside for Harvey?

I could take him with me, is the first thought that flits through Sebastian’s mind. 

And do what? is the second. Make him suffer in a shitty apartment while you come to terms with the fact that the person you thought he was doesn’t exist?

Sebastian buries the thoughts as deep as they’ll go, reminding himself that, if Alex does leave Pelican Town, it won’t be for him. A life stuck in a shit apartment pales in comparison to one surrounded by stadium lights and famous athletes. Even if some small, tiny part of Sebastian knows that Alex probably won’t be trying out for the Tunnellers in the spring like he mentioned, he could do something in that arena. It might require him to go back to school, but he could manage, and instead of seeing him on the field, Sebastian would see his face plastered across the evening news, providing commentary on the games that would make even Sebastian stop and watch. 

“Nope,” he whispers to himself as he shuts off the hose. “Not going to go there.”

The next hour or so mercifully flies by, punctuated by the chemical smell of the motorcycle cleaner and the sound of the hose. Somehow, Sebastian manages to keep himself somewhat dry until the sun begins to rise, and his hoodie feels more suffocating than anything else. He debates heading back inside to change, but then Alex flits through his mind again, and the ghost of his touch fans across Sebastian’s chest and down his arms. The hoodie and t-shirt beneath it both come off, and Sebastian sets about using a microfiber rag to dry the bike off. 

Sebastian doesn’t know why he does it. It might be because of the chemicals in the cleaner, being dehydrated in the sun, or the fact that his mind won’t stop imagining Alex taking up his television screen in a navy blue suit, discussing nameless gridball players. He refuses to believe it could be because he missed Alex, even as he opens his phone and opens their messages. 

Sebastian: Are you working at the ice cream stand today?

Alex’s response is immediate, and it floods Sebastian with so many feelings that he opens the camera app before he can stop himself. 

Alex: Shane told me he has it covered and not to worry about it. Why?

The picture itself isn’t inherently sexual; it’s just Sebastian shirtless next to his bike, one eye closed against the sun, and his tattoos on full display. 

Sebastian: Want to come keep us company?

Alex doesn’t reply, and Sebastian almost worries that he’s somehow misread everything that’s happened in the last forty-eight hours. He sets his phone down on a box in the garage, and when he turns back to the bike, he sees Alex not-quite-running up the hill with his backpack thrown over one shoulder. 

“Don’t you have a broken ankle?” Sebastian yells, heat and butterflies flooding his body at the sight of Alex slowing down to a walk and smiling at him. 

“Who cares?” Alex asks. The distance between them is closing, and every memory of the other night that Sebastian has done his best not to think about comes rushing to the forefront of his mind.

“You should care!” Sebastian says instead of, “Me!”

All too quickly, Alex is right there, his eyes moving from Sebastian’s face down over his chest to the waistline of his jeans. Flashbacks assault him in waves: Alex’s bright green eyes going dark as Sebastian slides onto his lap, all thoughts of Alex joining the Debate Club flying from Sebastian’s mind the moment skin touches skin. The sounds Alex made as he pressed Sebastian into the mattress, his cologne, and the warmth of his sheets kept Sebastian grounded as his mind tried to float away from the pleasure of it all.

Part of himself regrets lying face-down on the bed, hands gripping the sheets instead of exploring all the parts of Alex that they want to, but Sebastian thinks it’s better this way. They weren’t supposed to become friends, let alone whatever they are now, and any kind of distance that he can manage to keep the better. Even if it’s near impossible to keep himself away from Alex for longer than twenty-four hours. 

“Is that the same bike you had in high school?” Alex asks, dragging his gaze over to the motorcycle Sebastian already forgot about.

“You remember that?” After the other night, Sebastian doesn’t know how he’s surprised. Alex laughs, and when he turns to face Sebastian, the sun is hitting the side of his face just right, his eyes sparkling. Whatever is about to come out of his mouth is going to make Sebastian either feel on top of the world or like absolute shit.

“Was I not supposed to watch you across the parking lot?”

A mix of both is also unsurprising. 

On a whim, and because he likes the way Alex looks right now, Sebastian follows the part of himself that remembers what it felt like to wear Alex’s varsity jacket. While he’d handled his mild obsession with Alex by ducking around corners and hiding behind his locker, Alex had, apparently, gone a completely different direction.

“You looked good that day,” Alex adds when Sebastian says nothing. “Even if you had Sam hanging off the back of it.”

Laughter bubbles up from the back of Sebastian’s throat at the memory. Sam had been all for riding to school on the bike until Sebastian pulled onto the highway. He’d spent the remainder of the ride screaming for Sebastian to slow down, and by the time they parked at school, he could hardly walk he was so nauseous.

“Maybe I’ll take you for a ride sometime.” 

The sentence sits between them, heavy, both Sebastian and Alex trying to sort out exactly what he meant by it. For a moment, it seems like Alex might take the sexual innuendo route as he steps closer, his hand finding Sebastian’s hip. Their foreheads touch, and with one little shift of Sebastian’s chin or tilt of Alex’s head, they could be kissing. But Alex’s eyes flit to the front door of Robin’s shop, and he steps back again.

“Maybe I’ll take you up on that offer.” His response works, tempering the rising heat, making Sebastian’s skin flush. “So, I know you only asked me to keep you company, but I really hope that’s true. I don’t know the first thing about motorcycles.”

Right, the spark plugs. The spark plugs that stand between Sebastian and the idea of a life far away from Pelican Town.

“Let me teach you.”

It doesn’t take Sebastian nearly as long as he would have liked to change the spark plugs. Alex, now sitting comfortably against the wall in the garage out of the sun, shifts to asking Sebastian questions about the bike in general. Needing something to do with his hands, Sebastian gives the bike another wipe down as he replies, and then he spends five minutes explaining the specific brake lights he needs as he orders them. By the time the sun is at its highest, Sebastian is putting the bike back underneath her tarp and dumping out the buckets from that morning.

“Do you want to go down by the lake?” Sebastian asks while pulling the garage door closed. Alex opens his mouth to speak at the same time that the front door opens, revealing Robin, a clipboard, and a basket. 

“Don’t mind me,” she says, kicking the door shut. “I’m heading to the farm to take some measurements, and I wanted to drop the two of you some lunch on my way.”

“Mom!” Sebastian grumbles, wishing he’d never taken his shirt off. She shoves the basket into his hand with a wink and then turns to Alex.

“It’s nice to see you, Alex,” Robin adds. “How’re your grandparents?”

“They’re doing really well,” he replies, not seeming half as embarrassed as Sebastian to be caught in broad daylight by his mom. “Building anything exciting?”

Sebastian sets down the basket and reaches for his shirt, pulling it on while Alex and his mom talk about Yoba knows what. Then, he focuses all of his attention on not noticing how comfortable Alex looks standing in the front yard, chatting away with Robin as if they’re good friends. Sebastian can’t decide which is worse: his mom getting along with the man he’s trying not to fall for, or said man making her laugh in less than thirty seconds.

He’d been wrong to think that his mom wouldn’t mind Alex coming around. In fact, she seems more than okay with it if the picnic basket at his feet is any evidence of her feelings toward the situation. Does she know? Is it bad if she figures it out? What will she say when it inevitably burns up in flames?

His phone buzzes in his pocket, and Sebastian reaches for it, thinking that it’ll be a text from Sam. Instead, he finds an alert from the app he’d been using this past Spring to search for apartments. One of the buildings he’d favorited dropped the price of the apartment by 50 gold. 

It’s not until Sebastian makes eye contact with Alex that he realizes they’ve stopped talking.

“What?”

Alex laughs and turns toward the lake.

“Are you coming or not?” he asks, holding out his hand. “I believe I was promised a picnic by the lake.”

Alex’s words make Sebastian’s heart soar, and he tucks away his phone to pick up the basket. From the looks of it, that apartment will be there when he’s ready to make up his mind and leave. For now, he has Alex and the last few weeks of Summer, and that’s enough of a reason to stay.

Chapter Text

Alex

Later that night, back in his bedroom, Alex realizes that it would be all too easy for him to fall in love with Sebastian. 

Yes, with anyone else the use of that word this early would have Haley on a bus back to Pelican Town before Alex could complete the thought. But he’s had years to sit and think about all the ways Sebastian makes him feel. Hell, Alex has had years to stare at the ceiling and imagine what a life with Sebastian in it might look like. 

He does it now, watching as the fan makes lazy circles above him, the blades blurring into images of days like the one they just had. There could be mornings spent down at the beach, followed by stormy afternoons hidden beneath the awning of Willy’s shop. Evenings at the saloon with Sam, Abigail, and Haley – Haley would love having more people to show off for and photograph. Sebastian would teach Alex how to play pool, and Alex would let Sam win because he wants Sam to approve of them if he doesn’t already. Though, the thirty texts from Sam about a joint birthday party next year might mean Alex could win and they’d play another round with the same level of excitement as the first. 

And they’d have more time at the mountain lake, with Sebastian’s head in Alex’s lap as they talk about anything and everything. It’d felt so right to sit there in the sunshine and run his hands through Sebastian’s hair as Sebastian told him about summers past, the trees casting long shadows across his tattoos as he rambled and laughed. 

Yoba, the sound of Sebastian’s laugh. Alex doesn’t think he could ever get tired of the way it fills his chest with enough warmth to bring him dangerously close to overheating. He’d happily burn himself over and over if it meant keeping Sebastian all to himself. 

On his nightstand, Alex’s phone buzzes, and he reaches for it with no hesitation. 

Sebastian: By the way, I have the next issue ready when you are. You’ll have to come and get it, though

Sebastian also sent a picture of the next comic book in the series square in the middle of his bed. His empty, comfortable looking, too far away bed. Before Alex can stop himself, he’s sitting up a little straighter and pressing call. 

“If I’d known getting your attention would be this easy,” Sebastian says the moment he picks up. “I’d have done it years ago.”

He wouldn’t have, but Alex doesn’t say that. He’s doing it now, and that’s what matters. 

“I meant to tell you earlier,” Alex says, his eyes landing on the varsity jacket hanging from his desk chair. “But I hated the way the second one ended. What do you mean Titanic just let himself get trapped?”

At the end of the comic, Titanic Echo had walked right into a trap set by his nemesis, Malvolio, and found himself captured in a cage made specifically not to break under his super strength. Alex understood theoretically that he’d done it to keep the citizens of Brewington safe from Malvolio’s rampage, but he could have easily beaten the mad scientist in a fight. After all, what are a few beakers and some electricity when you have super strength and can fly?

“You’ll have to read the next one to find out.” In the background, Alex can hear the sound of Sebastian tossing himself down on his bed. “The better question is, why did I let you leave?”

It is the better question. 

“You claimed you had work to do.”

“I did have work to do,” Sebastian sighs. “But now it’s finished and you’re not here.”

When Alex finally falls asleep, he does so with the sound of Sebastian snoring on the other end of the phone. While a large part of himself wants to believe that Sebastian means it when he says things like I wish you were here, a smaller, louder part of himself can’t shake how happy Sebastian had looked while talking about all the places he wants to travel on his motorcycle. Forget Calico Desert and Zuzu City – Sebastian wants to see everything, and get as far away from Pelican Town as possible. He might not have spoken those words directly, but the sentiment was there beneath his wistful gaze toward the garage and list after list of where he wanted to go. 

Alex might dream about leaving, might have come so close he was once inches away from grabbing it, but he never will. He’ll have to find a way to build a life right here, in his hometown and his childhood bedroom down the hall from his grandparents. 

In the morning, Alex wakes up to a dead phone and the sun hitting him square in the eyes. He plugs the phone in and then hops in the shower, trying his best to ignore the sound of his grandparents lovingly bickering in the kitchen over whether they should wake him up or let him sleep. What time is it? It can’t be that late, Alex thinks as he rushes through shampooing and conditioning his hair, since he doesn’t feel as rested as he feels restless. 

Well, not restless exactly. More like an unmoored ship floating on calm waters waiting for disaster to strike or land to appear on the horizon. Land – Sebastian – would be preferred, but some days make that seem like an impossibility, and Alex can’t quite put his finger on why. 

In the kitchen, Alex finds Evelyn washing dishes by herself, the TV blasting the morning news in the living room. Most of breakfast has already been cleared, save for Alex’s plate and a large glass of milk. A quick glance at the clock on the oven tells him he’s slept far past the chance to work out on the beach before opening the ice cream stand. 

“Did you sleep alright?” Evelyn asks as Alex throws himself down in his chair and reaches for the water. 

“Yeah,” Alex mumbles, forcing a shrug as heat rushes to his face. “Sorry I missed breakfast.”

Evelyn chuckles and shuts the water off. 

“It’s about time you had something keeping you up at night,” she says, and Alex chokes on the water. “What?”

She’s laughing at him. 

Alex is dying of embarrassment and his grandmother is laughing at him. 

“Granny!” 

When he’d come out to his grandparents, Alex had known they’d be more than understanding. In high school, they patiently waited for the day he told them, and then waited some more to see who he’d bring home. College had been much the same, with Evelyn’s only interference being waltzing right up to Zuzu University’s LGBTQ+ club meeting and “scouting out some options” for when Alex got himself settled. The farmer had been welcomed with open arms, though looking back Evelyn must have known they were doomed from the start. All of that, Alex had been able to handle. 

But this? 

“I was young once!” Evelyn chuckles, raising an eyebrow as Alex leans back in his chair, still trying to regain control of his breathing. “One time, your grandfather and I–”

“Nope!” Alex shakes his head and stands from the table, taking his plate of pancakes, eggs and bacon with him. “Nope, I don’t want to know!”

“He was so flexible–!”

“I’m leaving!” 

Carrying the plate and a fork in one hand and his dignity in the other, Alex makes a beeline for the front door. George raises an eyebrow at him as he tries to slip into his sneakers without setting the plate down, or looking him in the eyes. 

He loves his grandparents – it’d be impossible not to. And they love him as if he was their son, not just their last link to their only child who’d run off with a complete ass and come back just in time to leave them all behind. 

Sometimes, Alex wonders what his life might have been like if his father hadn’t been shit and his mom hadn’t gotten sick. He’d been an angry, quiet child by the time he ended up with his grandparents, untrusting and filled with the kind of frustrations that most adults would struggle to handle. Everything that happened, from his dad’s shit choices to his mom’s illness, had been so far beyond the control of a child that he’d nearly lost himself before he had a chance to find out who he was. 

Hell, Alex still doesn’t know who he is. What he does know is what he isn’t, and that’s someone selfish enough to wreck other people’s lives in search of his own satisfaction. 

“Bring me back a scoop of chocolate,” George stage-whispers from his spot in front of the TV. “And don’t tell Evelyn.”

Alex, now with his sneakers on, salutes George with a smile before ducking out of the door. It’s slightly cloudy this morning, the promise of a storm lingering in the air. Not a thunderstorm, Alex somehow instinctively knows, but there is rain in the air. Hopefully it holds itself off until he’s free to shut down the stand and come back home. 

By the time Alex makes it to the ice cream stand, his plate is empty, and he stows it beneath the counter before getting to work on opening the umbrella, cabinets, and freezer. He’s worked the stand every summer since he was sixteen, and right now he welcomes the routine of unlocking the same locks in the same order and shifting the cash drawer until it’s centered neatly between two cracks on the wooden surface, one shaped almost like a crescent moon and the other a jagged chip put there by years of Alex picking at it between customers. Without his morning work out to calm his mind, adding a few more scratches to the chip helps recalm his breathing. 

It’s not that he doesn’t like his grandmother being excited at the prospect of Alex having found someone; it’s that he really hasn’t, and her excitement only serves to remind him that he very well might only have right now. There’s no use in letting her think him sleeping in after staying up all night on the phone with Sebastian will lead to anything, because Sebastian hasn’t texted him once since he woke up, and –

He pats his pockets once, then twice, and then glances to where he’d set his plate and fork down. His phone is back home, in his room, plugged into the charger. 

“You okay?” 

Alex glances up to see Shane standing on the other side of the counter, that day’s ice cream re-stock stacked up beside him on a wagon. 

“Fine,” Alex says, trying and failing to not appear as confused as he feels. “Where’s Marnie?”

Shane blinks at him slowly, like he’s trying to figure out how much information to give up. After a few moments, he shrugs and reaches for the first tub. 

“At home,” he says. “I’ll be doing the morning runs from now on.”

“Oh.” That’s when Alex remembers he’d been given the day off yesterday, an offer from Shane relayed by Emily. “Shouldn’t you be at work?”

When their eyes meet, Shane’s pursing his lips, holding out the tub of Caramel Swirl for Alex to take. 

“I quit,” he says, as if that’s explanation enough. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Alex takes the ice cream and sets it down in its spot in the freezer and then begins the process of scooping the last of the previous day’s ice cream on top. 

“About why you quit Joja?”

Most people in town think Shane is something of a drunken asshole. And, while the drunk part is true, the asshole moniker is somewhat undeserved. After working with Marnie for so many years, Alex has had the chance to see Shane both sober and drunk, and he’s equally quiet and difficult to read in both states of being. Only Emily can really get him to talk, and he’s been slowly warming up to Alex, even if this is the longest conversation they’ve had in a decade. 

Hell, he covered Alex’s shift yesterday, unprompted. An asshole wouldn’t do that unless he wanted something. 

Shit, what could Shane want?

“Let’s save the spiraling for when Haley gets back,” Shane says, sliding a tub of Key Lime Crush across the counter. “I have a proposition for you.”

“For me?” Alex must look as confused as he feels, because Shane finally cracks a smile. 

“I don’t see anyone else standing in front of me looking like he’d rather be anywhere else than selling my aunt’s ice cream.”

That makes Alex frown, and Shane’s smile only grows, putting Alex more off balance. 

“What kind of proposition?”

He takes the Key Lime Crush and repeats the same process he’d done with the Caramel Swirl, stacking the empty tubs inside each other. 

“You’re not still fantasizing about Gridball, are you?” 

Alex freezes, and when he looks at Shane again, neither of them are smiling. 

“Why?”

Shane takes a moment to look around, as if he’s worried someone will overhear them. When he’s satisfied that they’re alone, he reaches for the tub of Coconut Crazy. 

“I don’t know how much you still keep up with the farmer,” Shane says, and Alex tries not to let the emotions bubbling up inside his stomach and chest show on his face. “But he spends more time on Ginger Island and in Calico than he does on his farm. Last month, he sold all his chickens and pigs and invested in a bunch of slime hutches. It’s more profitable, he said. Can you believe that?”

An old, long-dormant need to defend the farmer tries to claw its way up his throat, but Alex swallows it back down. He doesn’t owe the farmer anything, even if he is selfless. 

“What’s that have to do with me?” Alex asks, done with the Coconut Crazy and ready for the next. 

“I’m taking over Marnie’s farm.” Shane smiles wider as Alex almost drops the third empty tub. “She’s fine, just getting older and needs the extra help. Plus, with the way I want things to go, it’s going to get bigger. That’s why I need your help.”

“Me?” 

Most people consider Alex to be a typical dumb jock, and right now he’s living up to those expectations. Shane doesn't judge him for it, though. He just keeps handing over ice cream tubs.

“C’mon Alex, let’s not pretend like you can’t haul a bale of hay further and faster than anyone else in town. Besides, ninety percent of farm work is physical. You’ll be able to stay in shape and work with your hands. It’ll also give you something to do in the off season when we aren’t running the stand.”

A job. Shane, of all people, is offering him a job. And Alex doesn’t even have to move or worry about leaving his grandparents. 

“What did you have in mind?”

The last of the tubs, Birthday Cake, is lifted onto the counter. 

“Not only does Pelican Town need a farm that can help boost the local economy, but something that will attract tourists. We won’t be able to start big, obviously. Just general produce and dairy products, of course. And we’ll have to travel to farmer’s markets to get our name out there. But afterward?”

Alex listens in abject awe as Shane lays his plan out, detailing everything from an orchard where people could pay to come pick their own fruit to a turning Marnie’s shop into a full-scale operation, selling everything from eggs and fruits to homemade pies and jams. Shane’s already asked Leah if she’d like to sell some of her art there, and he has plans for a few others in town, like Emily and Robin. 

“You’ll mainly be my muscle,” Shane says, lifting the empty tubs and putting them in the wagon. “But I have no problem with making sure I take care of the people who are with me from the beginning.”

One question has been nagging in the back of Alex’s mind since the moment Shane began talking, and he voices it now. 

“Did Emily put you up to this?”

It would make sense. Haley and Emily talk, and Emily has always been the kind of person who tries to help anyone and everything she can, from the parrot she rescued to Alex and Shane. It’s why he’s tried to keep his distance from her. Haley will voice her opinion, but ultimately Alex’s decision is his. Emily is far more persistent. 

Shane shakes his head. 

“I know what it’s like to need a fresh start and not know where to find one,” he says. “I’ve seen you lately, hanging out at the saloon and–”

He pauses for a moment and then backtracks, wrapping his hand around the handle of the wagon. 

“If you want to stay here, Alex, I want you to be part of my team. Think about it?”

Alex watches as Shane turns to leave, mumbling out a quick, “I will,” before moving to count his cash drawer. 

When he’d first started seeing the farmer, Alex had let himself imagine a life on a farm like that. Spending his mornings watering crops and feeding animals, his afternoons weeding and tending to general maintenance and the processing of things like mayo and jam. He’d had dozens of future cow names lined up and ready to go, and a pie recipe he wanted to try with blueberries that he’d grown himself. 

That never happened, of course. The farmer got tired of him before he tired of the work necessary to uphold an entire business. 

Before he can think more about the idea, Penny arrives with Vincent and Jas in tow, both of them jumping up and down and shouting what flavors they want as she digs through her pockets for her wallet. 

“Sorry,” Penny laughs, patting them both on the head as Alex scoops their ice cream.

“Don’t be,” Alex says, smiling down at Jas who’s staring back at him, her big eyes piercing right through him, like she knows. If he didn’t know any better, he’d think he was looking at a smaller, girlier version of Shane. “Have you guys been having a good summer?”

Vincent and Jas talk over each other in a hurry as Penny pays for the ice cream. 

“Is it fun?” Jas asks, strawberry ice cream smeared across her nose. “It looks fun, scooping ice cream all day. How do you not eat it all? Uncle Shane says he would and that’s why you work here.”

I quit my last job because it was working me to death, the farmer said once. And now I’m back to doing the same thing. What’s the point?

“It makes me happy,” Alex says, shrugging. “Plus, don’t tell Marnie, but…” he leans down and she leans up, mischief sparkling in her eyes. “I eat more of this than I sell.”

Alex hadn’t had an answer then, but he has one now. The point is building something you’re proud to attach your name to, that you put together with hard work and your own two hands. It’s not glamorous like a life beneath stadium lights, but it could be his if he dares to reach for it – if he doesn’t mind staying right here in Pelican Town for the rest of his life. 

Chapter Text

Sebastian

It’s nearly four in the afternoon before Sebastian hears from Alex. He tries not to open the text thread too quickly, focusing instead on forcing down the uncomfortable itch that has been steadily spreading across his skin since the moment he woke up. 

Alex: Good morning

Alex: Sorry, I overslept and left my phone at home

Putting the cigarette he’d been smoking between his lips, Sebastian types out a reply.  

Sebastian: Something keep you up late?

He should hate the way his entire body relaxes at the sight of Alex’s name on his phone and those three dots on his screen. There are fewer things worse in life than waking up to a dead phone and the realization that you fell asleep on a call with the guy you can’t stop thinking about. 

Alex: More like someone. Definitely worth it

Except for this. This is worse but better, because his thumbs are flying across his phone screen, cigarette and brooding momentarily forgotten. 

All day, Sebastian had tried and failed to convince himself that it’s fine if he hasn’t touched Alex in two days. One, if he includes their picnic, but idle hand holding pales in comparison to falling asleep with his head on Alex’s chest in a bed that’s far too small. Now, it’s reached the point where no amount of physical touch or the sound of Alex’s even breathing on the other end of the phone can satiate the need making Sebastian’s fingertips shake at the idea of being close to Alex again. 

Only, Sebastian is almost positive Alex doesn’t feel the same. He can’t feel the same. Not when he has the kind of potential that Sebastian would be a monster to try and stifle. 

You’re doing it again, Sam’s voice pipes up from the back of Sebastian’s mind. He tries to push it back, but Sebastian can’t help it. Alex choosing him makes little to no sense. 

Alex: Is the weather app on my phone lying, or is there a storm coming in?

Sebastian lifts his head to look out over the ocean, his mind quieting some as the clouds along the horizon line begin to creep closer to shore. The beach during a storm is exactly where Sebastian wants to be: the wind whipping salty air against his cheeks, getting sand caught in his hair, the thunder rattling the dock beneath him. Sometimes, Sebastian thinks that the dock might give way altogether, letting the ocean swallow him and his unrealized potential up. 

Sebastian: I have an idea if you’re up for it

The day before, Alex had commented that he’s jealous of Sebastian’s view from the mountains. Down in the valley, it’s nearly impossible for Alex to see past the saloon and the tree line shielding town from the ocean. Up here, you can see everything, from town to Willy’s shack and beyond. Hell, Sebastian can even sometimes see straight into Elliot’s cabin when they’re both up late and can’t sleep. 

Alex: If you’re involved, it’s an immediate yes

He doesn’t mean it, but that’s okay. Sebastian doesn’t need Alex to promise him much more than right now, as they’ve discussed. And, right now, Sebastian wants to show him something he’s kept almost to himself. 

Sebastian: Meet me in front of mine in an hour?

Alex: Make it fifty minutes

Sebastian starts to put his phone away, but another text comes through. 

Alex: I missed you

Rather than answer, Sebastian ashes out his cigarette and shoves the filter and his phone into his pocket. Robin is inside her shop when he slips back in, and offers him a raised eyebrow in lieu of the question he knows she wants to ask: Is Alex coming here or are you going there? It should freak him out, his mom knowing that Alex Mullner is the reason he’s practically flinging himself down the stairs to the basement so he can shower and get ready, but for some inexplicable reason, it doesn’t. In fact, it only serves to make him want to yell back, Is it too early to invite him to our house for breakfast at Winter Star?

In his room, Sebastian rips open his dresser at the same moment his phone buzzes. Hoping it’s Alex, he doesn’t stop to check to see who it is. 

“Hey,” he sounds breathless, and if it were anyone but Alex, Sebastian might be embarrassed. “I should have told you to bring–”

“It’s your other boyfriend,” Sam cuts in unhelpfully. “Good to know my suspicion was right.”

Sebastian rolls his eyes and puts the phone on speaker so he can go back to the task of finding an outfit that doesn’t scream I live in my mom’s basement. 

“What suspicion?”

“That you’re not coming to the Saloon tonight,” Sam sighs. “I knew I should have tried Alex first. He’s too nice to say no to me.”

Add that to the list of reasons why Sebastian shouldn’t be letting himself… fall… for Alex. 

Fuck. Is he falling for Alex?

“Did I lose you, or are you thinking about–”

“Next week,” Sebastian forces the words out around the realization that he’s not falling for Alex. If the way his gut twists at the idea is any indication, he’s already done it. “I promise, I’ll be there next week.”

Sam doesn’t sound convinced, but he hangs up by the time Sebastian gets his hands on a fresh pair of black jeans and a slate grey button-up that still has the tags on it. The shower takes forever to warm up, which never happens, leaving Sebastian with little more to do than stare at himself in the mirror, looking for any indication that he’s different than he had been even a few weeks prior. 

His cheeks are fuller, and slightly pink, though the color might have more to do with Sam putting horrible ideas in his head than Alex himself. He looks well rested, which is new. And he’s smiling. Sebastian, notorious for his resting bitch face, is smiling at nothing in particular. He tries for a moment to force the smile away, but it only lasts for a couple of seconds before he remembers Alex is probably in his bathroom doing the same thing. His smile has the nerve to grow bigger at the thought, so Sebastian rips off his clothes and steps into the luke-warm water, comfort be damned. 

Afterward, he rushes through the process of drying his hair, ripping the tag off his somehow now wrinkled shirt, and brushing his teeth. His stomach grumbles, but he ignores it, rushing back to his room for his phone. If Alex is the kind of person who takes arrival times seriously, he’s already here. Which means Robin is doing unknown amounts of damage as Sebastian stands in his room, panicking. 

“… all the time!” Sebastian hears Robin’s voice as he drags himself back up the stairs. “You should have seen him when he was a baby, I couldn’t get him to–”

“If you love me, you won’t finish that sentence,” Sebastian interjects. Both sets of eyes turn to look at him, and he nearly trips over his own feet. 

Alex chose that day of all days to put on his varsity jacket over a plain white t-shirt and jeans that fit his thighs in all the right places. His boots are slightly muddy from the trek up the mountain, and he’s put something in his hair that keeps it pushed back and out of his eyes. His bright green eyes that are sparkling in the dim lighting of Robin’s shop and making Sebastian’s knees go slightly weak. It takes far too long for him to notice a cooler at Alex’s feet. 

“Shit, I forgot,” Sebastian groans, torn between running back to his room for his blanket and not leaving Alex alone with his mom. “Can the two of you promise to behave while I–”

“I have to make dinner, anyway,” Robin waves him off before stepping around the counter. She turns her attention to Alex, who seems to only grow taller and broader beneath her gaze. “Don’t let Seb talk you into not coming around, Alex. You’re always welcome here.”

She pats his arm before shooting Sebastian one of her knowing smiles. At least one of them is happy. Sebastian is a downright mess and the night hasn’t even started yet. 

In his room, he makes quick work of ripping his comforter off the bed and grabbing a pillow. He’d try to grab more than one, but Alex is upstairs, alone, and the rain will be coming in any minute now. His phone buzzes, again, and Sebastian nearly throws it against the wall. 

Price Drop: 6 Meadowland Avenue, Zuzu City, Apartment 2A Click to view

With a groan, Sebastian does throw his phone, just onto his bed where it can’t get too damaged. He won’t need it anyway, not now that Alex is here and it seems just as intent as everyone else to ruin his spur of the moment plans. 

Back in Robin’s shop, Alex leans casually against the counter, his ankles crossed and an easy smile on his face. That smile morphs into a full blown laugh as he notices Sebastian climbing back up the stairs, his comforter doing its best to trip him. One moment, Sebastian is fighting with fluff-filled cotton for his life, and the next, Alex’s face is inches from his as he takes the mass of fabric out of Sebastian’s arms. 

“Are you feeling alright?” Alex asks, looking away to focus on folding the comforter like a sane person. 

“Never better,” Sebastian manages to say around the effort of catching his breath. “Sorry, it’s been a weird day.”

Alex chuckles to himself and then nods as if he knows exactly what Sebastian means. Instead of focusing on that, Sebastian turns toward the cooler. 

“What’s in there?”

“Dinner,” Alex says, draping the now folded comforter over one arm. “Granny insisted.”

The look Alex gives Sebastian makes it clear that Evelyn insisted nothing, and it somehow manages to calm the nerves that had bubbled up inside Sebastian’s chest. Alex is here, he seems happy, and he brought food. Sebastian really should have thought harder about what talking to him would lead to, like butterflies and the absence of the possibility of passing out at the slightest inconvenience. 

“Come on,” Sebastian says, nodding toward the door. “It’s best if we beat the rain.”

If Alex has questions about what Sebastian has planned, he doesn’t let on. He follows obediently by Sebastian’s side, eyes taking in the view of the beach and approaching storm clouds as they climb up higher. He doesn’t stop or speak until they reach the mouth of the cave. 

“We’re not going into the mines,” Sebastian says the moment they step inside. “And we might have to sit back from the mouth a bit, but–”

When Sebastian brings his gaze to Alex’s face, he pauses. The storm has made landfall down on the beach, a thick sheet of rain making everything on the shore slightly hazy. Waves lap against the dock, wind berates the side of Willy’s shop, and as the first streak of lightning zig-zags across the sky, Sebastian watches as Alex’s lips part in abject awe. 

“It’s not the same as being in the thick of it,” Sebastian starts. He goes to continue, but Alex’s bright eyes meet his, and his mouth snaps shut. 

“It’s beautiful,” Alex says. “I used to hate storms because it meant a day of being stuck inside with my grandparents and my weights. But, this… this is…”

His voice trails off as he turns back to the ocean, and Sebastian nods. 

“The view from up here is how I fell in love with storms,” he says. Sebastian doesn’t know if he’s ever told anyone this, but, somehow, telling Alex is one of the easiest things he’s ever done. “Did I ever tell you about the time I got stuck up here?”

Alex shakes his head, eyes still focused on the hazy wall of rain making its way up the beach and toward town. Thunder echoes across the valley, and the heavy pressure in the air presses in on Sebastian’s ribs almost like a hug, and he feels like he can breathe again. This summer has been frustratingly void of storms, as if the universe knew Sebastian had one raging inside of him already; one with a smile brighter than any lightning bolt and arms that could make Sebastian think anything is possible. 

To distract himself, Sebastian reaches for the comforter, sliding it off Alex’s arm and unfolding it as he recounts one of the dozens of times he’d threatened to run away as a kid. This time, he’d made it as far as the mines, which hadn’t yet been blocked by Joja’s idiot employees messing around doing Yoba knew what. 

“It was before you came here,” Sebastian says as he spreads the comforter out on the cave floor. “Maru had just won some young scientist award or something, and my mom and Demetrius were acting like she’s the next Einstein. They completely forgot to take me to my music lesson.”

He’d just started learning how to play the guitar, and had fallen in love with the way music helped him escape the feeling that he didn’t belong anywhere. Not just in his house, with his family, but Pelican Town and, maybe, the larger world as a whole. Such a concept hadn’t quite been on eight-year-old Sebastian’s mind, but now he can recognize it for what it was. And his parents’ forgetting about his practice had sent him straight for the mountains, a box of field snacks, a bottle of water, and his stuffed bear, the only belongings he felt important enough to take with him. 

“I must’ve fallen asleep up here,” Sebastian continues. “When I left, it was a typical sunny day in late Spring. A loud clap of thunder woke me up. Well, it almost busted my ear drums, and then woke me up. Before then, I’d hated most things that made loud noises. Storms, fireworks – all of it.”

But there was something to be said for forcing yourself to endure what could be considered torture. Sebastian hadn’t been able to run back home for fear of being struck by lightning or, worse, somehow struck down by the thunder as it rolled over the mountains. Going deeper into the mines had been a suicide mission even by his young and impulsive standards. So, Sebastian had been stuck there in the mouth of the cave, watching as vibrant purple streaks lit up the sky and the ocean beat against the sand on the shore. 

“For the first time, everything in my head went quiet.” Sebastian watches, almost dumbfounded, as Alex lowers himself onto the blanket and begins pulling out a box of sashimi, pepper poppers, and a salad. Two Joja Colas come out next, followed by a beer that must’ve been leftover from Sam’s birthday and a green tea for Alex. “I couldn’t think about how upset I was when the wind and rain were competing with the lightning and thunder for who could kill me first.”

For the first time in his young life, Sebastian’s thoughts had been completely silent. Between the noise and the fear, there was no room left for Maru’s stupid award and his parents’ obsession with her success. He couldn’t even bring himself to be annoyed that he’d missed music lessons. The tension in his muscles gave way to the freedom that came with being swept up in the middle of a torrential downpour, and it had felt a lot like peace. 

“The things that make you can’t kill you,” Alex says, patting the comforter beside him. He doesn’t speak again until Sebastian joins him on the blanket. “When did you go to the beach during a storm for the first time?”

Admitting this is admitting just how long Sebastian has pined after the man now offering him sashimi with an easy smile on his face. 

“High school.” Sebastian accepts the plastic container and settles down on the blanket, lying on his side and propped up on an elbow so he can watch Alex watching the storm. “After a gridball game.”

As he waits for Alex to ask his follow up question, Sebastian shoves a piece of sashimi into his mouth. It’s the same recipe Alex found online, which means Alex has once again gone out of his way to make something he knows Sebastian likes. It makes Sebastian’s insides twist in a way he isn’t sure even the storm can quiet. 

“Which game?” Alex’s eyes are warm when they meet Sebastian’s gaze and he has no choice but to answer. 

“I forget who you played.” It’s a lie, but Alex doesn’t need to know that. The rest of this admission will be bad enough. “You won the game twenty-three to twenty, and I’d somehow ended up down along the fence near the bench.”

In fact, Sebastian had ended up there rather purposefully, excusing himself from Abigail and Sam’s sides in the stands under the pretense that he wanted a hot dog before the concession stand closed. He’d been gripping the metal fence along the outskirts of the field in his hand hard enough that the grid left indentations in his palm for the rest of the night. 

Alex had looked exhausted during the last play. It was the kind of game where neither team could manage to scrape out a clear lead, and with thirty-something seconds left on the clock, it’d been Alex’s last chance at getting his team to the end zone. He’d sat dejected on the bench, helmet in his hands and head hung low until their coach called for the offense to go back onto the field. He’d strode right onto the turf, head held high, yelling things at his teammates that got lost in the crowd shouting and slamming their feet on the bleachers. 

“I thought you’d been looking for me.” The storm is closer now, the sheet of rain slowly making its way through town and up the mountain. “We made eye contact when you turned back toward the stands. And you started walking in my direction, and I kept thinking, holy shit it’s happening.”

That would have been the picture-perfect end to the playoff game of Alex’s high school career. With the win, he’d secured the team’s spot in the semi-finals, and maybe the high of the game had made Alex’s brain go fuzzy enough that he’d do something foolish and out of character, like lean over the fence and kiss Sebastian right there for the entire world to see. 

Alex tears his eyes away from the valley and, when he meets Sebastian’s gaze, it’s like they’re right back on that field, Sebastian’s entire world precariously balanced on that chain-link fence. 

“I was looking for you.” The words are quiet beneath the rain now pounding the earth just outside of the cave. “By the time Haley unwrapped Chloe from me, you were gone.”

It’d been a stark reminder that someone like Alex could never be with someone like Sebastian. Chloe was a typical cheerleader: not too short but not too tall, long brown hair that she managed to have professionally curled every single day, and more bronzer on her cheeks than was necessary. She’d launched herself into Alex’s arms like she belonged there, and he’d caught her as if it was second nature, smiling so wide he couldn’t have been anything other than happy to see her. 

“The deal was that Sam and Abigail would give me a lift back home in Sam’s truck because the storm was coming in,” Sebastian finishes somewhat lamely. “I took my bike instead, and made it to town just as the rain hit. I don’t know what made me ditch it by Sam’s house and walk down to the beach, but I didn’t want to think anymore, you know? I just wanted… quiet.”

The corner of Alex’s mouth tilts up in a smile, and Sebastian raises an eyebrow in question. 

“Only you would go to a beach during a thunderstorm looking for quiet.”

Sebastian rolls his eyes and eats another piece of sashimi. 

“Only you would risk running the ball and have it pay off.”

It’d been spectacular to watch. Even the opposing team had been taken by surprise, and the result had been a full ride scholarship to college to play gridball. His night had probably ended with hundreds of hands clapping Alex on the back, his teammates hoisting him high in the air, and girls like Chloe thinking they had a chance at helping him celebrate. 

But, Alex had been looking for him. Allegedly.

“What would you have done?” Sebastian asks. “If I’d still been there.”

Continuously playing this game would have to get boring eventually. There were only so many instances where their paths had crossed, or the trajectories of their lives had come so damn close to intersecting that only an act of Yoba had managed to keep them apart for this long. 

Alex moves so that he’s mirroring Sebastian’s position on the blanket, and he smiles. 

“I don’t know,” he answers truthfully. “I just knew that I wanted to say something. Maybe thank you for coming, or ask if you would be at the championship.”

Sebastian hadn’t been at the championship game. It’d been held in Zuzu University’s stadium, and his bike was in no shape to make the journey, still drying off in places from being left out in the rain all night at Sam’s. He had watched online, though, his eyes tracking Alex’s every move across the field. 

“You’re welcome.” 

The words fall from Sebastian’s lips easily, and there’s something twinkling in Alex’s eyes in the near-darkness that has him setting his sashimi to the side and inching closer. Suddenly, all Sebastian can remember is how much time stands between right now and the last time he touched Alex, and he might die if he doesn’t touch him soon. 

It seems Alex has the same thought, because he reaches out a hand to cup Sebastian’s face, and then there’s no space between them as Sebastian practically crawls on top of him. His hands find Alex’s chest, his heart beating just as fast beneath the fabric as Sebastian’s is in his chest, and fuck if this isn’t how everything was supposed to turn out. 

“Sorry.” Sebastian doesn’t know what he’s apologizing for. Running away, maybe, or taking this long to catch up with what’s been in front of him this whole time. “Alex, I–”

Their noses bump, electric sparks following a streak of lightning down Sebastian’s spine. Beneath him, Alex is as firm as the ground of the cave, leaving Sebastian no choice but to mold himself to the shape of him. 

“I know,” Alex says, nodding almost absentmindedly. “Me too.”

The idea that Alex could possibly understand the myriad of thoughts and feelings swirling through Sebastian’s body with the same intensity of the storm has him closing the distance between their mouths, needing to taste him, to make sure that this is real. Much like the lightning and thunder outside the cave have the ability to quiet Sebastian’s anxious mind, the moment Alex’s tongue slips into his mouth, all thoughts of cheerleaders and riding his motorcycle in the rain thinking, I deserve this, vanishes from Sebastian’s consciousness. All there is is Alex: Alex’s hands, his mouth, and the noise he makes as Sebastian grinds his hips down, the heat of the kiss all-consuming as always. 

In a matter of moments, there is little space between their bodies, with Alex rising up to meet Sebastian as he bears down on him, the kiss more tongues and teeth than anything soft. It’s close to what Alex had given Sebastian back in his room when he’d asked, all heat and quick, frantic searching for relief from the need that had been building in him for a decade. Now, Sebastian found himself wanting something else. 

“Take your time,” he mumbles into the kiss, tilting his head to the side to give Alex room to leave open-mouthed kisses along his jaw and neck. “I’m not going anywhere.”

It’s not a complete lie. For right now, Sebastian can’t picture himself anywhere else with someone who isn’t Alex. 

Somehow, Alex manages to maneuver them into a new position, with Sebastian on his back and Alex between his legs, the space between them minimal. He uses his mouth and his hands to keep Sebastian distracted, slowly undoing the buttons on Sebastian’s shirt and pushing the fabric to the side, exploring Sebastian’s collarbones with his lips as his hands trace the tattoos now exposed to the summer air. When he sits up, Sebastian tries to follow, his hands fisting the fabric of Alex’s shirt to try and keep him close. 

“I can’t take our clothes off if you keep holding onto me like that,” Alex murmurs, pausing his movements to indulge Sebastian in a few more languid kisses. 

“But, I want–” Sebastian’s words are cut off by an impatient huff as Alex gently pushes him back down onto the blanket. The distance between them gives Sebastian enough time and oxygen to realize there are a few problems with his new plan. “Wait, I didn’t bring–”

Alex raises an eyebrow as he sits back on his heels and pulls out a condom and two lube packets from his jacket pocket. 

“It’s us,” he says with a flushed smirk. “I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t hoped this would happen. I had planned on feeding you first, but–”

Sebastian grabs at the hem of his shirt and pulls it the rest of the way off, tossing it somewhere. 

“Need you first,” he whispers. “Please, Alex, I’ve been thinking of nothing else for the last few days.”

The please does what Sebastian wants it to, and Alex drops the condom and lube packets onto the comforter before taking off his jacket. His shirt comes next, and then he’s back on top, their chests pressed together as he captures Sebastian’s lips in another kiss. 

This time, there’s none of the rushed and frantic energy that had accompanied their first time. It takes what feels like ages for their clothes to be gone completely, what with Alex insisting on keeping their bodies as close as possible, but Sebastian doesn’t care. For once, he’s happy to lie back and let Alex take his time, his fingertips and tongue tracing everything from the outlines of his tattoos to his nipples, where Alex teases him until he’s little more than a whimpering mess. Before Alex, Sebastian preferred it when men used him as a means to an end, letting him shut off his mind and let them help him feel less connected to his mind and body. 

Now, Sebastian can’t imagine touching Alex and not wanting to be completely and utterly present for it. There’s being owned, and then there’s this: being claimed so completely that it will outlast this storm and whatever satisfying aches he wakes up with in the morning. 

As Alex’s mouth moves lower, Sebastian pulls his knees back, earning a hum of approval against his hip bone. The feeling of it sends vibrations spreading through his body, hovering just beneath his skin and mixing with the electricity in the air to create something almost magical. He’s so wrapped up in it that he doesn’t notice Alex tear open a lube packet and coat his fingers, rubbing one around his hole while Alex sucks the tip of Sebastian’s cock into his mouth. 

No one has ever taken the time to prep him so thoroughly that his cock is leaking by the time Alex reaches for the condom. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that Alex doesn’t take his eyes off Sebastian’s face once, even as he bobs his head up and down, taking Sebastian’s cock deeper as his three fingers press against Sebastian’s prostate hard enough to see stars.

But he refuses to close his eyes, even as Alex swaps his fingers for his cock, dropping down on top of Sebastian as he pushes forward.  

“How is it that every time I touch you feels like the first?”

Sebastian wraps his legs around Alex’s waist, forcing him deeper, needing more now that it’s his cock stretching him and not his hand. He’s not sure if Alex meant to ask the question out loud, and forming words around the feelings filling up his chest takes effort, but a streak of lightning lights up Alex’s eyes, and that’s all it takes. 

“Because it’s right.” His hands slide into Alex’s hair, gripping at the strands to hold him in place as if Alex would go anywhere else. “So, so right–”

Forget the idea of falling. Sebastian isn’t falling for Alex – he already has, and is looking up at the man who makes him feel like he could be something if he wanted. Right here, in this shit town with its problems and locals who never move out, is where Sebastian could make a name for himself and a future that looks the way he wants it. Somehow, some way, as long as he has Alex, and Alex keeps touching him like this, Sebastian can make it work. 

Their mouths collide as Alex bottoms out inside of him, the place where Sebastian’s body ends and Alex’s begins nonexistent. They stay like that for an eternity, lips and tongue saying things their minds can’t begin to put into words when Sebastian is this full and his cock is pressed between them, making a mess of their skin, marking them as belonging to each other. 

“Fuck.” The thought nearly sends Sebastian over the edge, and Alex must sense it, because he starts to move. 

“I was wrong,” Alex says at the same moment his cock brushes Sebastian’s prostate. “It’s me who was made for you.” 

They were made for each other, but Sebastian doesn’t say that. Instead, he presses his heels into the small of Alex’s back, urging him deeper, needing more but unable to find the words to ask for it. And Alex gives it to him as if he can read Sebastian’s mind, both of them mumbling each other’s names and strings of curses until Sebastian comes, his nails scraping down Alex’s back as he tries to find something to hold onto so he doesn’t float away. Alex must follow shortly after, but Sebastian is less aware of that and more focused on how content he feels. With Alex peppering soft kisses along his skin and pulling the comforter half on top of them, he doesn’t need to think or feel or do more than simply exist. 

Sometime later, as the rain stops and the thunder sounds further and further away, Sebastian finds himself coming down from the impossible high Alex thrust upon him. His eyes blink open to find Alex staring up at the ceiling of the cave, smiling despite the fact that they’re both still covered in sweat and cum. 

“What’re you smiling about?” Sebastian asks, unsure how he ended up with his head on Alex’s chest but happy to be there nonetheless. 

“Just had a good day, that’s all.”

Something in Alex’s tone has Sebastian inching closer and throwing an arm around Alex’s middle. 

“Tell me.”

Alex sighs, and Sebastian forces himself to turn his gaze toward the ocean. The waves are still angry with the force of the storm, but less crazed, and he loses himself in the rhythm of them lapping against the shoreline while he waits for Alex to continue. 

“Shane’s taking over Marnie’s farm and he asked me to join him.” Alex’s words are soft, barely audible over the wind and full of sleep. “He’s planning on filling the niche the farmer left behind when he… you know.”

Sebastian knows. He also knows better than to ask Alex to explain. 

“Are you going to do it?”

He holds his breath as he waits, terrified of what will happen when Alex answers. 

“I think so,” he says, quieter now. “I can’t leave my grandparents, and it’s better than waiting around for something else to come along. At least this way, I can stay and have something that’s completely mine.”

Sebastian doesn’t reply. He can’t, not when his throat is closing up and his eyes are burning. 

Of course, Alex has found a way to stay that won’t stifle his want to make a name for himself. He’ll be able to keep himself in shape while helping Shane do something the farmer had every opportunity to but chose not to, and it’ll help fix some of the things Alex thinks are broken. The town will thank him, his grandparents get to keep him, and he’ll spend the rest of his life right here in Stardew Valley. 

As Alex’s soft snores begin to fill the cave, Sebastian realizes that he is, in fact, falling. And he isn’t sure if he wants Alex to be there to catch him if it means being somewhere else.