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Chapter Text

Over the last couple of months, the thought of coming back home was the one thing taking over James's mind. He missed his friends, his parents, his town. His first year of college had been great. He truly feels that he has changed so much, and for the better. What he didn't expect was to come home for the summer and have his entire life flipped.

Coming back home and staying with his parents almost made James feel like a kid again. It was so easy to fall back into the routine he knew from before. Being surrounded by the same people, the same environment. His responsibilities and worries for the future fell to the back of his mind.

He and Sirius are driving to grab lunch down the street and meet Remus at one of their favorite diners. Peter said he'd come by the Potter's later instead because he's helping his grandma move in. Sirius has all of the windows rolled down, poking his head out like a dog. He called dibs when they got in the car to connect his phone to Bluetooth, and a song James doesn't recognize starts to play. Sirius jumps to turn the volume up and starts singing along, waving his hands around. James laughs, but keeps his eyes on the road. He can't risk crashing because of Sirius's theatrics.

As they walk into the restaurant, Sirius is trying to tame his hair that got a bit knotted from sticking his head out of the window. Remus is already there of course, so they walk to the back where he's seated in a corner booth. James loves those, he's glad Remus knows.

"Hey," Remus nods at them.

"Hellooo," Sirius sings as he slides in right next to Remus. He doesn't even leave an inch of space, instantly dropping his head on the taller man's shoulder.

"Hey," James grabs a menu even though he already knows what he wants. He always looks through the menu just in case he changes his mind, but he won't. He has tried every single thing written on the menu, but nothing is better than the meal his parents always ordered for him growing up. It's comforting.

They catch up on how moving back has been, even though they're going to move right back out in a few months. Despite this town and this life being the one they grew up knowing, it's odd getting used to some things again. The weather is a bit different, it's a lot warmer during the day. The people are definitely different, but that's not a bad thing. Here everyone knows everyone basically, it's familiar.

About an hour later, James and Remus are waiting for Sirius to finish his food. He talks so much when he eats that he's always the last one done. Now, to add even more wait time, he's on his phone.

He's smiling down at his phone when Remus eventually asks, "What is it?"

"Reggie," Sirius says, and finally reaches to take another bite. "Says Evan's having some sort of bonfire hangout thing this weekend and that we should all go."

"All?" James asks, "Like me, Pete, and Remus, or all of us?"

"Well…yes, all. The girls too."

James nods at the confirmation. They don't hang out with Regulus's group of friends much. They're all friends—acquaintances, really—but they have meshed groups to get together a few times. They are all more familiar with Sirius since that's Regulus's brother. Although, Regulus does make it a point to insult James every time they are in each other's presence. Besides that, they're all somewhat friends.

"Yeah, I should be free," Remus says in response to Sirius.

"James?" Sirius asks.

"Oh yeah, I'm down. I only hang out with you guys, of course I'm free."

"Okay, we're going then! I'll tell him." Sirius looks at both of them, "You guys ready to go yet? I wanna go do something."

Remus releases a breathy laugh, "Yeah, Sirius. We were waiting on you."

Sirius scoffs dramatically as he shoves James out of the booth to leave, "I've been ready. I was waiting for you two."

James rolls his eyes, but makes his way out of the booth and to the front to pay. He pays for their lunch this time, and they make their way back to James's house.

They hang around outside for a bit after Peter gets to James's. Eventually, they tire themselves out after holding an intense juggling competition, which James wins because of his soccer experience, then lounge around the back porch to snack.

Sirius is lying across Remus's lap on the swing bench when he sits up abruptly, "I haven't told you guys yet!"

"Told us what?" Peter asks with reciprocated enthusiasm. James looks at Sirius curiously.

"Regulus told me he's done with our parents. For sure. He's going to study at a university not far from us, and he's going to cut ties after that."

"Really?" James asks.

Peter questions sincerely, "How is he going to pay for that?"

Sirius smiles with pride for his brother, "He already has a nice paying internship out there, and he got a full ride. Guess all that time cooped up over his studies worked." He shrugs.

Peter whistles then says, "Shit, nice."

"That's great, Sirius. Does he seem happy about it?" James looks to Sirius, awaiting an answer.

Sirius hums in thought, "I think so, not fully sure. You know how he is."

Remus releases a small breath that is meant to be a bit of a laugh at that comment which makes Sirius shake his head with light laughter as well. James wonders what little inside joke they have about Regulus and why only they seem to know.

"I just hope he adjusts well, it can be tough. I'm lucky I have you guys over there, I couldn't do it otherwise."

"I think he'll be fine." James adds thoughtfully, "he seems very independent, always has. And he's smart, so obviously he'll do well academically. And I've seen some of his art, and his writing, he's got major talent." James adds, "and he's not too far from us, so we can go to him whenever."

Sirius nods, "That's true. The drive is pretty short. I kind of wish he applied to our university, then he could be just a short walk away."

"Oh yeah, that'd be pretty cool." James nods. "Is he going to Evan's this weekend?"

"Yeah, he's going." Sirius points a finger, "Don't tell him I told you guys! Especially about the scholarship. He's like weirdly humble or whatever."

"Alright. I am kind of interested in how he got the scholarship, though. I'll bring it up discreetly if by some miracle he's willing to talk to me."

"Good luck with that," Sirius snickers.

They end up sitting outside talking until day turns to dusk and a nice breeze settles in to warm the air.

When they get to Evan's, Sirius drags Remus to grab a drink immediately, and Peter disappears somewhere. Sirius brings James a seltzer, and they head outside where everyone else is at. He notices Dorcas and Marlene by the fire, and Barty and Regulus with a few others in a corner, smoking and chatting.

James spends most of his time jumping from group to group, talking about literally anything. His favorite part about parties might be the mingling. He enjoys getting to know people. Unlocking more parts of them to bring up later and see the way their face lights up.

After a while, he starts to feel a contented buzz that sends his body to the sofa inside to take a short break. He finds Remus there already, scrolling on his phone, probably taking a break as well. He peeks over and sees words covering Remus's screen. Of course he's reading.

Sirius walks in to grab Remus and drag him back outside after a few minutes, leaving James alone on the couch.

Just after they left, Regulus walks in and settles on the other end of the sofa with a sigh, laying his head back. It's much quieter in here with the speaker outside and almost everybody else outside as well. There are a couple of people speaking softly and putting a drink together in the kitchen, but that's about it.

"What's wrong?" James asks Regulus curiously.

"Huh?" Regulus responds, slowly rolling his head to look in James's direction.

"I dunno, you look like there's something bothering you."

"Uh, no. Just needed a break, I guess," Regulus answers lazily.

"Makes sense," James hums, and they fall into an awkward silence. Regulus eventually closes his eyes with another heavy sigh.

"Y'know, I mean, if there is something, you can tell me. If you want," James mumbles.

Regulus rolls his eyes and groans quietly before pushing himself up to leave.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"You talk too much," Regulus says as he walks back outside.

James scoffs. That was mean.

About an hour later, James walks onto the front porch to answer a phone call from his dad. Trying to get as far away from the noise as possible, he shuts the door behind him. "Yeah, alright. I will, don't worry," James says in an attempt to stop his dad's tired rambling. "Mhm. Thanks. Bye, love you too."

He hangs up and sees Regulus leaning against the railing of the porch.

Regulus is looking at him, an eyebrow raised.

"My dad," James says shyly, "He was letting me know that he locked the door and to text him when I get home."

Regulus nods along awkwardly, and then James realizes that he didn't ask. Right.

"What are you doing out here now?"

"The stars. Just looking," Regulus answers shortly.

At this point in the night, James has had more to drink than just a seltzer and it looks like Regulus has had more too, his blinking is slow. Though, they’re both still in control, it seems.

"Nice," James nods. "Damn, this is a really nice view though," he says in awe, leaning over the railing next to Regulus to gape at the night sky.

"Yeah, the suburbs have a much better view than in the city."

"Where are you?" James asks, leaning on his hip to face Regulus. His eyes are darting between Regulus and the sky.

Regulus turns back to him, confused for a moment, "Oh. You can't see my star right now. It's probably blocked by trees or the house or something. I don't see it."

"But you should be visible tonight, right?"

"I mean, yeah, I guess."

"Then, c'mon," James tugs on Regulus's arm and walks down the porch steps.

Regulus, very stunned, follows along. No, he's being dragged along, but he doesn't protest.

"Where are we going, Potter?"

"I want to see you. Let me know when you're in view."

Regulus, not having the energy to fight back, just grumbles and follows James down the street after getting out of his loose grip.

"Warmer?" James asks, eyes on the sky.

"Nope. Turn left, I think if we pass this house up we could see it."

James leaps in the direction Regulus instructed. "Oh! Yeah, I see more!" He's grinning widely, "Show me. Please."

Regulus looks up and points to his star in the Leo constellation. "There."

"Er, where?" James is lost. There are far too many stars in the wide sky.

Regulus groans and gets a bit closer to James to try and see from his eyes, but he's a bit taller than Regulus. "Right there. You see that brighter one of that bunch?"

"Hmm," James hums as he tries to find it, but then he turns to Regulus snickering, "You smell like weed."

"Yeah, because I just smoked some," Regulus scoffs dismissively. "You smell like alcohol."

James laughs, "Yeah 'cause I just drank some."

Regulus rolls his eyes, but James swears he sees a slight smile in the corner of his lips.

Regulus points to the star again, and James bends down slightly in an attempt to equal Regulus's eye level. Their faces might be too close, but James doesn't think too much of it and ignores the feeling of his body warming up.

"Okay. Do you see those two that are kind of lined up?"

"I..." James is searching, he's trying, he swears. He sighs in defeat, "Do not."

Regulus huffs in frustration and turns to face James. Their faces are definitely too close. "Are you too drunk to do this? Am I wasting my time?"

"No! No, I just need a second to find it. Don't worry, I will. I'm not blind." He doesn't realize what those words actually mean until he sees Regulus blink at him with a gorgeous, but very condescending smile. "Oh."

"Mhm," Regulus taps James's glasses lightly and it sends James into a spiral. "Now use those glasses to help you find it. I can assure you, it's not that hard." He points again, "See those two that line up and make a slightly slanted line? The brighter one on the bottom, that's it."

James takes a couple of seconds, "Uh…OH! I found it!" He laughs, "Hello."

Regulus releases a startled laugh at the ridiculous sight of James speaking to the empty air in front of him. "What are you doing?"

"Greeting your star, obviously." They're facing each other now. "That's so cool, Regulus. That's you up there."

"Not me exactly, but sure. It was kinda cool when I was younger I guess." Regulus shrugs.

"Aww," James chuckles. He bends down, getting ready to lie down on the ground.

"Um?" Regulus stares down at him, confused.

"I just wanna look at the stars for a bit. And without hurting my neck having to look up," James's words slur together a bit, a mixture of intoxication and exhaustion.

"You're basically in the middle of the road," Regulus stares down at him, unimpressed, with his arms crossed.

James tugs on Regulus's pants around his ankles, "C'mon."

"No thanks, we could get run over."

"It's the middle of the night. Do you see any cars? Nobody's around."

Regulus contemplates the idea, then complains the entire time he settles down next to James. His arms are stiff, folded over his stomach.

"Show me more?" James asks, rolling his head towards Regulus. The road must be filthy, but his brain is too muddled to think of that for long.

They lay there for a while longer as Regulus points to other stars in the sky and James pretends to see them. He must not be very good at pretending because Regulus constantly scoffs and rolls his eyes at him. He does see a few, he swears. On one occasion, he grabbed James' wrist and put it in the direction of the star frustratedly, which didn't help much because all James could focus on was how cold Regulus's hands were. It felt nice considering James always feels hot when he drinks.

Eventually, their conversation drifts from stars to stories from their childhood. Most of the time, James is the one speaking and every now and then, Regulus chimes in with a story. Now they are just telling embarrassing stories about Sirius which has them both laughing at his expense.

"This shouldn't be that funny, but one time when he was like eight, he was talking back to our mom. Of course. They were in the kitchen and I was in the living room listening. Sirius was sent to his room and he said something like, 'I'd rather be alone in there than in here with you!' And he stormed out super angry," Regulus takes a breath, "He went—he."

He takes another breath to try and stop himself from laughing, which makes James giggle in anticipation. "He starts storming up the stairs, growling. And when he reached like the middle of the staircase, he missed a step and full-on smacked his head down. He was okay, but then he slid down a couple of steps because he was only wearing socks." Regulus and James are both laughing at the image of a younger Sirius fuming. "I don't think he even knows I saw that. He just got up, said 'ow', and silently and slowly went back up to his room."

"So he's always been clumsy?"

"Oh yeah," Regulus says with a smile that looks so beautiful on his face. He has the faintest smile lines in the corner of his mouth and a shallow dimple on his left cheek. He seems so much brighter when he smiles. It looks like there are a million twinkling stars in his eyes.

Regulus tells a few more stories about Sirius while James takes every word and expression in to his best ability. Regulus stops talking when a realization washes over him that they left the party a long while ago. James honestly forgot, caught up in the stories and stars.

They made small talk as they walked back. Things like "What's your favorite color?" "Favorite movie?" The little things. James knows about Regulus's struggles with his parents and Sirius, they know each other's pasts, but they've never really had the chance to discuss the basic things alone. As dreadful as basic small talk usually is, this conversation wasn't dreadful in the slightest bit.

When they get back, it's obvious that most people left already or are getting ready to do so. They must've been gone longer than James thought. They both go their own way without a word.

"Where the fuck were you?" Peter shoves James when he walks into the kitchen for water.

"Oh, I was outside. Went for a walk." James shrugs.

"You good?"

"Yeah," James smiles, and Peter seems to buy his excuse. "Where's Sirius?"

"He's still out back. Cuddling up on Remus."

James nods. Through the corner of his vision, he sees Regulus and Barty go sit outside. That might be what influences his body to start walking outside too. When he walks through the door, he doesn't know what to do anymore.

He's broken out of his confusion at the sound of his name. "James!" Sirius waves him over to sit between him and Marlene who is in Dorcas's lap.

James goes and sits, and then is hit with the pathetic realization that he's sitting between two couples, holding a cup of water rather miserably.

The rest of the night is pretty anticlimactic. James sits and listens to everyone else drunkenly tell stories and converse while he keeps getting lost in his thoughts. It's hard to focus when Regulus isn't sitting very far away, looking the way he does. It makes James's mind get all foggy.

He almost doesn't realize his friends are leaving until Remus shoves his shoulder and jerks his head in a 'let's go' motion. Sirius is saying bye to Regulus, hanging onto his younger brother's shoulders for support. Sirius always drinks too much at these things. He seriously overestimates his alcohol tolerance. He thinks he's a 6'5 hockey player or something.

James gets up and says goodbye to Marlene and Dorcas who look like they're staying the night, and waves at everyone else while walking to the side gate. James waits for Regulus to look his way, and when he finally does, he flashes Regulus a soft smile. Regulus, in response, looks completely unimpressed and walks away to start cleaning up. Despite that reaction, or lack thereof, James isn't discouraged. That's just how Regulus is. James knows what a bitter face looks like on Regulus after years of them directed at him, and that face didn't seem truly bitter in the slightest.

Their little moment was probably the nicest Regulus has ever been towards him. Maybe he'll think James is more worthy of his time now? Probably not, but it's a nice thought.

Chapter Text

The days following Evan's bonfire are weird to say the least. James knows he's been acting a bit off, but not enough to cause worry. His friends have picked up on his strange behavior. They all know each other too well to ever hide anything for long. Either way, he knows he's going to cave in and tell one of them about how he feels. Otherwise, it will eat him alive. He doesn't think telling Sirius will be the best first option, but it feels odd to boot him to the bottom of the list. Sirius has been James's go-to person for everything. He wants to tell Sirius eventually, but he finds himself dreading the idea of admitting that he has feelings for Sirius's younger brother whom Sirius still has somewhat of a unique relationship with.

James can wait before he tells anyone, though. He'll let some time pass and see if he can make sense of everything to himself first.

That night, James wasn't drunk enough to forget anything. He remembers every bit of his time with Regulus. Just thinking about it makes his stomach flutter with nerves. He has unlocked a new feeling towards Regulus, and he knows it means trouble. Regulus Black had always captured James's attention, sure, but not like this. Now that James is sober, he is able to think about what it all means, and he's not sure he likes it.

He keeps replaying his time with the younger Black brother over and over again. When he closes his eyes, he sees Regulus's dark curls—messier than usual—his smile, and twinkling grey eyes. There are moments where James smiles at absolutely nothing, looking like a lunatic, because his mind does not want to take a break from thinking about Regulus. It's bliss and torture.

Regulus is good-looking. That's a fact. James has always known this. The genetics in the Black family are insane. Regulus never went through an awkward-looking phase either, which was just completely unfair. James remembers when he had braces to straighten his big teeth, glasses that did not do him justice, and a horrendous haircut with untreated curls. His thirteenth year of life was not his best. But Regulus? Regulus had always been perfect. His features always sat on his face perfectly, and his hair was somehow always tamed and looked like silk. He was the epitome of beauty.

James saw these parts of Regulus as they grew up together, but he just never noticed. It wasn't until that night when they were lying in the middle of the road and talking, that James was overwhelmed with the realization. Regulus is not just pretty, but utterly mesmerizing. His features are sharp, but gentle. Under the light of the night sky, it seemed as if Regulus was a sculpture. Carved with caring hands that knew exactly what they wanted to make. His nose was a stark line, but rounded softly at the end. His lips had a sharp cupid's bow at the top. They looked so soft and pink with a few cracks from his nervous habit of picking at them. His eyebrows were sharp and unsparing, but his eyes were round and alluring.

Looking at Regulus Black is like looking at a dangerously entrancing flame at night. It's warm and beguiling, but staring at it for too long burns your eyes. It's just making sure you see it. 

Well, James is looking now, and he’s not going to look away no matter how much it burns. 

About a week later, he hears that Evan is planning another party later in the month. There are going to be fewer people this time, but James is happy to go because that means he can see Regulus again. He doesn't even know if Regulus was sober enough to remember, or if he even cares that their moment the other night meant much more to James. He doesn't know what to expect the next time he sees Regulus.

When he gets to Evan's, he doesn't see Regulus and tries not to make his disappointment obvious. He scans the room and sees a blur of brown, blonde, red, and every hair color mix together, but he doesn't see Regulus's head of perfect, jet black, curly hair. Pandora and Lily are standing nearby, laughing at something Dorcas said.

James walks up to the group of girls, "Hey."

"Hey James," Pandora greets. Dorcas nods, and Lily shoves him lightly as a hello.

"You girls look amazing, as always." He reaches out and twirls Lily quickly at his side.

Lily laughs and slaps James's shoulder. Pandora does a short bow, "Thank you, thank you."

James chuckles then clears his throat, "Uh, Regulus and Barty are gone, huh? I don't see them," he asks as casually as he can.

"Oh yeah, they just went to grab more drinks, and I think stuff for s'mores," Pandora says while shoving Lily with her elbow, emphasizing the word 's'mores'.

Lily's eyes light up a bit at that and she says something, but James doesn't register what. He distractedly says a small "thanks" and moves to find Sirius.

After almost an hour of talking to Sirius and Marlene, and then to some guys James knew on the soccer team, Regulus and Barty finally came back. Barty made a big show of coming back with more drinks as Regulus slipped away to store everything else in the kitchen.

Not too long after the drinks were restocked, James got stuck in a shotgunning competition that started off as a hypothetical and a joke. However, he couldn't turn his friends down and raced against Marlene first. He won, of course, so he went up against Sirius next. Competing against Sirius wasn't much of a challenge, so he raced Peter and Evan until he had to tap out to get water and take a break. He was a burping mess and didn't want to drink too much all at once.

He's grabbing a cup of water in the kitchen when he hears someone shuffle in and prepare a drink behind him on the counter. When he turns around, his heart drops to his feet. Regulus is making a couple of dirty Shirley's with his back facing James.

"Hey," James slides in next to him.

"Hey," Regulus says, not looking up from his task.

"Who's the other one for?"

"Pandora," He tops one drink off with four cherries and leaves the other cherry-less.

"Can I have one?" James's tongue feels like it has doubled in size in his mouth. Oh, it's really kicking in now.

"Can you make it?" Regulus answers cheekily.

James laughs, "Okay, okay." He goes to grab a cup, his vision is a bit swirly now, "How do I do this?"

"Are you serious?" Regulus gives him that lovely, mean look.

"Well, I know what goes in it. Duh. I have no clue how to proportion it though."

Regulus groans, "It's soda, grenadine, and vodka, James. That's it."

"Okay, how much grenadine though?"

"I don't know, however much you want!" He grumbles.

James can't help but laugh at Regulus's frustration. "Okay, sorry." He throws his hands up in surrender, "Can you just pour the grenadine and I'll figure out the rest? I don't wanna butcher it." He smiles pleadingly, "Please?"

Surprisingly, Regulus does. He reaches over James to grab the grenadine and pours it into the cup. James watches Regulus's movements intently, appreciating their proximity. "There." He flashes James a sharp smile.

James, staring down at Regulus with a smile of his own, "Thank you."

Regulus rolls his eyes and walks off with the two drinks in his hands.

"Wait, Regulus!" James has no clue what he's going to say next. Regulus stares at him expectantly with a raised brow. "Uh, do you think you can show me Arcturus in a bit? I tried to find it the other night and I was at a loss."

Regulus sighs and pauses. "Sure, but soon. I'm gonna take this to Pandora, then we can go. It might not be as easy to spot anymore later."

"Okay," The word leaves James's mouth quietly, surprised that Regulus agreed with no hassle. He was prepared to plead his case.

About ten minutes later, Regulus comes back into the kitchen with his drink. He tops it off with more vodka, but James notices a cherry sitting at the bottom of the cup. He assumed the drink with the cherries was for Pandora. He assumed wrong. Regulus loves cherries. Noted. "Come on." Regulus's voice interrupts James's thoughts.

James finishes whatever water was left in his cup and follows along. He didn't even try to finish making that Dirty Shirley, he just wanted to talk to Regulus.

This time, they don't need to go very far to see the stars. Regulus places his drink on a coffee table on the porch after taking a large gulp, then moves to the railing. James is met with visions from the last time they were like this, and his stomach turns.

"Okay," Regulus takes in a big breath, "See the Big Dipper?"

"Oh, yeah." James huffs confidently.

Regulus rolls his eyes and points up, "So from there you look on the side of the handle, and you see that one right there?" He slides next to James, their shoulders bumping together clumsily.

James freezes. "Huh?"

Regulus huffs, "Come here." He grumbles, gesturing for James to meet his eye level.

James complies and tries to stop his head from spinning out of control. Damn that shotgunning contest.

Regulus points again, "See it now?" His voice is quieter now and James can feel Regulus's breath brush against the hair behind his ears. It tickles and makes his body want to shiver.

James tries to focus on the sky and eventually, after lots of focus, finds the star. "Yeah, I do." He whispers back, a smile growing on his face. "How does it feel to have two stars that are yours up there?"

He turns to Regulus when he doesn't get a reply. Regulus is looking up at James with an unreadable expression, "Yeah, nice. It's nice."

James doesn't know what caused the shift in the energy between them, but something has changed, and it's not the alcohol lingering in his system. His heartbeat quickens, and his breath gets shaky. The air between their bodies is warm and suffocating. He stares down at Regulus's lips and then his eyes, waiting for Regulus to shove him away or call him an idiot. Something, anything. But Regulus does nothing.

Regulus just stares back up at James until his eyes fall down to James's lips, he practically studies them. His eyes are focused and his eyebrows are pinched. It feels like he stares at them forever before James does something about it. All he can hear are their shaky breaths and his heart rushing blood to his ears before he decides to just reach forward and close the space between them. When their lips touch, everything stops. All sound drowns out, and the only thing on James's mind is Regulus.

Their lips move together sloppily before they find some sense of rhythm. James kisses Regulus slowly, afraid that he'll pull away, but Regulus seems to have other ideas. He reaches his hands up to hold the back of James's neck. He deepens the kiss quickly and James follows along happily. He raises a hand to Regulus's face to tilt it in his favor and his other hand goes to Regulus's hip to pull him closer.

Regulus's hands are all over James's hair now and it feels so fucking amazing. The feeling of Regulus's lips on his and his fingers carding through his hair is the closest to heaven James will get. So, when Regulus removes his hands, James can't hold back his whine of protest which then turns into a sharp breath when he feels Regulus's cool hands run along his torso and his back from underneath his shirt. Regulus leans James back against the railing and kisses him again. James is like clay underneath Regulus's touch, completely malleable to take whatever form Regulus's hands desire.

James pulls them apart to take a breath and look at Regulus to make sure that this is real. He's met with furrowed brows and swollen lips, and then they're kissing again. James gingerly moves his hand underneath Regulus's shirt to delicately run his fingers up Regulus's spine. Regulus shivers at the touch. James moves to leave a trail of kisses down the side of Regulus's neck slowly, then bites lightly. It isn't enough to leave a mark, but goodness does he want to. Regulus responds with a contented sigh, rolling his head back.

Since Regulus made room for James so beautifully, James is sure not to let him down. He tries to kiss every inch of skin exposed on Regulus's neck. He doesn't get to because Regulus hungrily drags James's lips back to his.

Regulus slots his thigh between James's legs to close the small gap of space left between them, and James can't hold back the moan that escapes his mouth right into Regulus's. Regulus rather cruelly chuckles against James's lips before he moves downward to his neck. James can feel his breaths getting shorter at the contact in his haze of pure want .

He wants Regulus. He wants this to never end. He wants whatever Regulus is willing to give.

"Let's go inside," James whispers to Regulus eagerly. "Please."

"No, someone could see us," He says between kisses, "And I do not want to be seen like this with you."

"Better than being out here in the open though, huh?" James proposes even though it's dark and nobody is around to see them.

Regulus has an internal debate then groans, "Fuck, fine."

They make themselves look somewhat presentable again, then Regulus goes for the front door and walks in quickly. James follows shortly after.

Just as James thanks the gods above that there is nobody inside, Lily, Pandora, and Evan barge in from the backyard. How timely.

"What are you doing in here Reg?" Pandora goes to shove his shoulder.

It doesn't look like they've noticed James yet who ran to the sofa as soon as he heard them coming to make things seem less suspicious. Luckily, they didn't see. That was a genius move on James's end that Regulus should definitely reward him for, but he's humble, so he'll stay quiet.

He honestly doesn't know why Regulus doesn't want them seen together. It would be a surprise, sure, but it's not that big of a deal.

"I told you I was going outside, remember?" Regulus tells Pandora calmly.

"Oh, right. I forgot," she giggles, but something seems off about her demeanor. Regulus seems to notice, and the pair have a silent conversation with their eyes.

"James!" Lily gasps, "What are you doing in here? We miss you outside!" She shouts while making her way next to him.

"Oh, I was in the restroom. I'm just taking a break now. Y'know." He shrugs, trying to display indifference.

During all this, Evan has been leaning against the doorway outside, eyes darting between them all. He looks thoughtful, but remains quiet.

Lily shoves James, "Get your ass outside, come on!" She grabs his arm and tugs.

James looks at Regulus in a bit of a panic. He really doesn't want to go outside. He wants to stay here with Regulus. He wants to continue where they left off.

Regulus has the slightest trace of a scowl on his face. James can see him clench his jaw tightly. He shakes his head so faintly that James is almost sure he made it up.

"Uh…" James remains on the couch hoping his reluctance will ward Lily off, but she doesn't give up. "Okay. Okay, going."

She drags James towards the back. He glances at Regulus one last time to see Pandora sit him down on the couch as she talks about something in a hushed tone. Regulus doesn't look back.

Whatever just happened has messed James up for the rest of the night. Lily talks about something Mary said or did, James can't keep track. How is he supposed to go on normally after that? It was real, though. He knows it. Regulus. Kissing him. That is not what he expected to happen tonight, but he is so glad it did.

Lily ends up dragging James to dance with her and Marlene. He has fun the rest of the night, but part of his mind stays somewhere else. He talks to a few other people who come up to him and ask him how he's been.

Their night comes to an end when Sirius and Remus notice James struggling to help Peter, who seems to have thrown up his entire dinner. Remus scolds Peter about drinking water if he's going to drink, which does make James laugh because of how often Remus reminds them to drink water. His laugh sounds fuzzy, like it's not his own. The slight buzz of alcohol is still in his system. It makes his head spin a bit. He really shouldn't have kissed Regulus in this state. He's not out of control, but he's definitely more forthright with his words and actions.

James doesn't see Regulus the rest of the night. At all. He must have left or stayed with Pandora because Evan came back outside and was talking to Barty near the outdoor bar. James wasn't watching the doorway for any sign of Regulus. It was just a coincidence that he happened to face that way every time there was movement nearby.

James doesn't even bother to shower when he gets home. His body moves straight for his bed. Then, a very sensible voice reminds him that he needs to change and brush his teeth. He grumpily gets ready for bed before curling up in the comfort of his blankets. He needs to sleep this weird haze off. Hopefully, it will all make sense tomorrow and he'll know what to do next. Is he supposed to not acknowledge what happened if he sees Regulus again? He can't ask Sirius for advice. Maybe Remus? Probably not a good idea either.

It doesn't take long for James to actually fall asleep. The last thing on his mind being Regulus yet again.

Chapter Text

Regulus

Regulus's phone is currently face down, on his desk, far across the room. He texted James shortly after he got home last night, dreading the damage control of his impulsive actions.

When Pandora, Lily, and Evan walked into the living room last night, Regulus was both relieved and disappointed. They saved him from making a huge mistake. He wasn't thinking straight. Oh, he was just going to sleep with his brother's best friend? Yes, he really wanted to, but nope—bad idea.

Pandora and Lily were together most of the night, but Pandora pulled Evan away to go inside with her. That's when they walked in. Lily followed along to look for James because she forgot that Sirius had asked her to earlier. Pandora went inside to call it a night and brought Evan with her because she really needed to talk to someone. She ended up telling Regulus what was bothering her when she sat him down on the couch. Apparently, she almost tried to kiss Lily that night. Then, Lily mentioned something about Mary, and Pandora just completely deflated. After explaining it all to Regulus, she warded Evan off to go back outside if he wanted to and then moved down the hall into her room with Regulus. They watched a couple of episodes of Pandora's favorite sitcom until she fell asleep. She's a very deep sleeper, but he was sure to move her head off his shoulder with care. When Regulus came back out a while later, mostly everyone had left. James left.

Barty—who only had a drink and a half early on and sobered up by the end of the night—dropped Regulus off at home.

Before he showered and got ready for bed, Regulus texted James. He wasn't sure if he should have said anything, but he needed to be certain that James wouldn't tell Sirius. Since he didn't have James's phone number, he messaged him on Instagram. James posts all the time, so Regulus knew he was going to see the message.

[regulusblack] Regulus

don't tell anyone about tn :2:54 am

especially not sirius. :2:54 am

[jamespott3r] james!

8:27 am: dw, i won't

typing…

8:31 am: y tho?

[regulusblack] Regulus

do you want him to kill you? :8:54 am

[jamespott3r] james!

8:54 am: he'll get over ittt

8:57 am: ok, i won't tell him.

[regulusblack] Regulus

typing…

seen

Regulus doesn't exactly have a valid reason for why he doesn't want anyone to know about last night. Well, there's the fact that Sirius would actually be furious. Regulus isn't ashamed of what he did; he's annoyed at himself. He's annoyed because of his stupid crush on James that he had always pushed so far back into his mind that he wasn't sure if it was even real. He's annoyed at how willing he was to make out with James Potter as soon as the opportunity presented itself.

Regulus had always despised James silently. Everything just came so easily to him. Friends, academics, sports, and charm. It was infuriating to be in the same room as him. His stupidly gorgeous face was also very infuriating. James is attractive, he always has been, and isn't that just perfect? It made despising him a whole lot harder.

There was always something about James that made Regulus nervous, and the only way he knew how to deal with it was to deny it and despise it. It wasn't until high school that Regulus's feelings seemed more real. As soon as he noticed, he pushed the feeling so far down that he sometimes contemplates whether it was real. That night on the porch was not one of those times. That night confirmed that his feelings are very much real and they've never gone away, which is great, actually. Regulus is thrilled to be in this situation.

The next few days, Regulus does everything in his power to ignore his heart screaming at him to see James again. His heart is stupid.

Instead of listening, he distracts himself by hanging out with his friends, writing, sketching, and reading. He hung out with the girls, which was very nice. Barty and Evan were busy, so Dorcas swung by to pick Regulus and Pandora up to head downtown. They grabbed a coffee from their favorite café and walked around the shops for a bit. Pandora updated them on her situation with Lily, and that's what they spoke about for most of the time.

[jamespott3r] james!

12:56 pm: (jamespott3r sent a video)

The notification makes Regulus's heart stop for a second in the middle of the sidewalk. He didn't expect James to text him after their last conversation. Regulus catches up to the girls and decides to give the message a few more minutes before he replies. Honestly, he shouldn't reply at all.

[jamespott3r] james!

12:57 pm: some things never change huh?

12:57 pm: this reminded me of that story u told me the other night

12:59 pm: how much will u hate me if i tell him?

[regulusblack] Regulus

you better not. :1:00 pm

They say curiosity killed the cat, but they also say cats have nine lives. Regulus didn't see a problem with indulging in one conversation and letting his curiosity win him over this one time. The video James sent was of Sirius tripping over himself and spilling some of his drink, then throwing a fit. Regulus snorted at the video, and the next second, he was typing out a reply.

[jamespott3r] james!

1:00 pm: oops! too late

[regulusblack] Regulus

typing…

typing…

[jamespott3r] james!

1:02 pm: KIDDING!

1:02 pm: i can feel u plotting my murder

1:02 pm: i'll take that story to the grave if u want

[regulusblack] Regulus

too late, you have to now. :1:04 pm

look outside your window. :1:04 pm

[jamespott3r] james!

1:04 pm: uh ur not there

1:04 pm: i checked

[regulusblack] Regulus

did you actually? :1:05 pm

[jamespott3r] james!

1:05 pm: …no

1:05 pm: anyway! how r u??

[regulusblack] Regulus

I'm fine? :1:07 pm

[jamespott3r] james!

1:07 pm: that's good??

1:07 pm: are u sure??

[regulusblack] Regulus

well, why are you asking? :1:07 pm

[jamespott3r] james!

1:08 pm: cuz i wanna know

1:08 pm: wyd?

Regulus shouldn't have answered. He should have left James's message in his inbox, unopened. Instead, he answered, and now they're debating what the best coffee shop is in town.He hates to admit it, but talking to James over text is just as easy as talking to him in person.

Regulus should have definitely been more present in his friends' conversations, but James kept texting him, and Regulus is selfish. Pandora and Dorcas sent him confused and quizzical glances most of the day, so he tried to walk alongside them instead of behind. If they ask him about it later, he could just say Sirius was in a mood and was texting him or something. Hopefully they buy the excuse.

After Dorcas dropped Regulus off, he went straight to his room to avoid running into his parents. A car was in the driveway, so someone must be home, but he does not want to have to deal with either of them right now. He's surprisingly in a good mood. Deep down, he knows why. He knows it is because James is texting him and giving him the attention Regulus has craved for years, but those thoughts stay buried. As far as Regulus is concerned, he's happy because he had an enjoyable morning, a decent coffee, and that is that.

He decides to spend his energy on creating something and begins to draw whatever his hands desire. It's hard to stay focused when James keeps. Texting. Him. Does he have nothing better to do? Honestly. Now, he's just sending TikTok videos and reels that are admittedly somewhat funny, but make no real sense.

When Regulus hears the front door close and lock downstairs, he trudges down the stairs quietly, a safe habit. The kitchen is clear, so he warms up leftover pasta he made himself the night before. Whoever was home—likely his father—probably had take-out.

He's sitting down in the dining room, eating the last few bites of his meal in peaceful silence, when the sound of dangling keys makes him freeze. Not yet. He doesn't have time to clean everything up and run upstairs in time. Instead, he mentally prepares for whoever walks in.

"I didn't expect you to be home." Of course, his mother is the one he has to run into. "You're hardly here anymore. I almost forgot I had a son."

Regulus bites his tongue.

"Oh, good. You're eating. You need to eat more, you look sick." Her voice stings. He tries to brush it off, but brushing off needles is bound to get you pricked.

"I just finished," he says tersely, getting up and taking his dish to the sink.

"Regulus, wait." She holds a hand out to grab his elbow as he walks past, but Regulus moves away. Her tone is a bit softer now. "Have you applied for the program I told you about yet?"

Regulus tries to hold back his groan and keep his voice neutral, "I told you I'm not going to apply. I don't want to do whatever it is you and Dad do. Besides, I'll be busy enough with my studies already."

Walburga's demeanor changes at that statement, "If you don't apply by the end of the month, I will be applying for you, and you will do it. I don't care if you think you're special with your art and little stories, so do millions of others! This is something that you can build a future with, Regulus. I need you to see that. I'm trying to help you."

"I don't want your help." His voice is losing stability, and he feels anger rise from the depths of his gut. "I'm going to do what I want to do. I have worked so hard to get that scholarship without you. You don't want to help me, you want to trap me, and you know it." He angrily washes his dishes as quickly as possible to escape this situation. His mother follows behind him.

She starts speaking more words that are meaningless to Regulus because, admittedly, he's over it.

"I'm not talking to you about this anymore." He goes up the stairs, ignoring his mother's protests, and locks his door behind him. He is forever grateful that Barty installed the new doorknob with a lock for him one day while his parents were away on a business trip. Regulus doesn't even think his parents noticed the change.

Arguments like that have been happening too often. His parents truly expected him to blindly follow in their footsteps and obey their orders. When the time came to apply to colleges and universities, Regulus simply didn't tell them a thing. He stayed silent, but that didn't last long. They caught on that he didn't apply to any of the pretentious universities centered in business and finance that they requested, and they were furious. Since then, arguments like these have come up almost every time he runs into them.

Returning to his phone that he left on his desk, he sees four unread messages from James. His heart skips at the sight. Great. He's helpless.

Regulus gets ready for bed early and falls asleep texting James like a lovesick teenager. Though, he finds that doing so has helped better his mood following that conversation with his mother.

James Potter has been texting Regulus for three straight days, and Regulus has been answering. Every now and then, Regulus gets a notification that James sent a message, and they have small conversations. Sometimes they're long, mostly at night.

One night while Regulus is with all of his friends at the Rosier household, James is in a very talkative mood and is blowing up Regulus's phone. He tries to ignore it as it buzzes and buzzes on the floor beside him. His friends notice and peer over at Regulus curiously.

"Okay. I've had it," Dorcas throws her hands up. "Who keeps texting you, Reg?"

"It's nothing, Sirius has just been texting me a lot lately about Remus." Regulus lies with ease. He's been practicing. He feels bad about it, but then he thinks about how humiliating it would be if he told the truth, so the lie comes out a lot more casually.

"Nope. I know that's not Sirius." She says it with certainty that makes Regulus want to squirm.

"It makes sense, though. I think I saw them arguing the other night when they came over. And you know how dramatic Sirius is." Evan chimes in like an angel reaching out to a suffering man.

The attention is then switched over to talking about Sirius and Remus and how adorable they are, and blah blah blah. Frankly, Regulus has heard enough about how perfect they are. Sirius does not hold back when talking about his amazing boyfriend.

Regulus tries to discreetly turn his phone completely off to avoid any more messages coming in and attracting his friends' concern.

[jamespott3r] james!

12:13 am: sooo wyd next friday?

12:13 am: im throwing a ragerrr

[regulusblack] Regulus

oh, I'll find some way to be busy :12:42 am

I don't think a James Potter rager is my scene :12:42 am

[jamespott3r] james!

12:43 am: whatt y not??

12:43 am: fr tho im gna have a party so pls come n bring ur friends

[regulusblack] Regulus

you should probably tell them :12:44 am

is there an occasion? :12:44 am

[jamespott3r] james!

12:44 am: ok! i'll let em know

12:45 am: oh yk just feeling festive

[regulusblack] Regulus

I suppose I can go. :12:45 am

[jamespott3r] james!

12:45 am: perfect!

Sirius

Today 2:01 PM

james is having a party next fri

he said u and ur friends should come

sounds good

The several days leading up to James's party have Regulus growing anxious. He and James have something weird going on. Regulus doesn't want to address it, and James doesn't show any indication that he will either, so Regulus lets it stay that way.

Before heading to James's, Regulus picks his friends up to gather at his place since he's the designated driver for the night. They all—except Regulus—have a couple of drinks while the girls finish getting ready, and Barty and Evan choose something else for Regulus to wear. Apparently, what he had on was ridiculous, so they make him change into a casual polo and denim shorts. Regulus will be driving them all tonight, which means no alcohol or weed for him. This means he will have to deal with James Potter sober.

When Regulus parks his car, there already seems to be quite a few people there. James seems to have invited more people than Regulus expected.

"Hey guys!" James says cheerily when he spots them in the doorway. He looks stupidly gorgeous in a red, half-open, short-sleeved button-up. Regulus tries not to stare, instead focusing on the crowd behind him.

Yeah, there are quite a few people here. Both inside and outside it seems. Regulus recognizes some people from his year, but most of them seem to be from last year's graduating class. "Drinks and snacks are over there. Restroom down there. And no upstairs." His hands wave around in multiple directions.

"Got it," Barty says with a mock salute. "Nice place, Potter."

"Thank you, thank you," he swings an arm in the air. "You guys want anything to drink right now? We got everything to be honest." His eyes scan the group, and he finally makes eye contact with Regulus. It's not like Regulus was waiting, but it took him long enough. "I got stuff to make a Dirty Shirley," he shoves Regulus with his elbow, a smirk on his face.

"I don't think you should be making them." He says it bitterly, and James instantly smiles. "I'll make my own."

"C'mon, I'll show you." He turns to the rest of the group again, "If you guys need anything, find me!"

Regulus follows James into the kitchen. It's changed since the last time Regulus was there. To be fair, that was a few years ago. There are changes to the Potter household, but it still holds its eternal warmth.

James grabs the components from the cabinets and then a jar of cherries out of the fridge and takes off its brand-new packaging.

Regulus starts making his drink and turns to James, "You better be watching this, Potter."

"Yes, sir."

James does watch, and when Regulus finishes, he looks back up at James. "I didn't put vodka in because I'm driving tonight, but you can just put however much you want. It's like two steps, think you got it?"

"Oh yeah, " he says confidently. He looks back down at Regulus's cup, displeased, "You only put one cherry?"

"Is that a problem?"

"Well… I thought you liked cherries. I bought these for you because I noticed you put a bunch in your cup last time." James doesn't seem to think there is a problem with his words because his expression remains the same.

I bought these for you

Regulus hates his heart for skipping at that statement. He centers his focus on placing more cherries in his cup. He did want more, he just assumed that other people might want some and didn't want to hog them all.

"There." He tops his drink off with a final fifth cherry. James smiles, and the sight makes Regulus's insides wriggle. "Are you going to make one now?"

"Oh no thanks, I'm fine with my soda for now."

Regulus frowns at the can, "Root Beer? Really, James?" His tone is dripping with disapproval.

James pouts, "Root Beer is great. My ride or die here." he lifts his can to his heart and holds it protectively.

"Sure," Regulus brushes his hand against James's shoulder as he walks past him into the crowded living room to search for his friends. He hears James chuckle lightly behind him.

They don't talk for most of the night until Pandora forces Regulus to dance with her and Lily. Regulus mostly watches his friends have fun, and it's enough not to hate his current state of being painfully sober. Then, Lily sees James and pulls him close to dance with her. They do so enthusiastically, and Regulus admittedly can't hide his smile. James twirls Lily dramatically and catches Regulus's eye while doing so. He sends James an impressed look, which prompts James to cock his head to the side as if to say, 'want a turn?' Regulus rolls his eyes, but his small smile defeats the effectiveness.

Then suddenly he feels something wet and cold runs down his torso. He looks up to find Lily with a hand over her mouth in surprise, and her previously full cup, empty. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, Regulus. I'll help you clean it. I'm sorry, I should've paid more attention. If you want a new sh—"

She mutters excessive apologies that Regulus shrugs off with a gentle tone. "It's alright Lily, don't worry. I'll dry it off. It'll come out just fine." She looks visibly panicked, but calms a little at his reassurance.

"You could come change your shirt," James says abruptly, gesturing upstairs. "It's my house. I've got plenty." He laughs awkwardly.

Regulus takes a moment to think. It would be nice to change into a dry shirt. Is it a good idea considering what happened the last time he and James were left alone? Definitely not. Regulus accepts James's offer before he can think too deeply about it. "Okay." He follows James towards the staircase after throwing the girls a quick, "Be back."

Regulus can feel his palms start to sweat, and millions of ants crawl underneath his skin. He's going to James Potter's room to change into one of his shirts. So normal. Definitely the best option when the other one would be to just steal a shirt from his older brother—who also lives here—but no. Regulus is stupid and selfish and couldn't decline James's offer.