Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Cipher always had a favorite victim to tease.

Of course she'd start noticing that she hasn't shown up in 2 months.

That entire class, she swung her legs in her seat, gaze locked on the seat where Castorice used to be. The seat that has been empty for months.

Cipher used to visit her a lot during the day to playfully pick on her. Castorice always seemed withdrawn, but she would keep a tiny smile on her face, even with Cipher making it her mission to bug her.

The last time she’d seen her was a sunny Friday.

And then she was gone. She didn’t come back on Monday.

She would’ve expected some sort of explanation from somebody, but there was nothing.

Cipher didn’t consider herself to be a caring person. She loved to do everything alone, and often despised social contact. But this was concerning, even for her.

Castorice was just as bad as Cipher, if not worse. She’d often poke fun at her for it, dubbing her a “Princess Homebody”.

She really didn’t expect that title to become the truth.

Cipher really wished she asked Castorice for her number at some point. Just to confirm if she was alive still. With her disappearance, Cipher would’ve thought she was dead.

There were no flowers or funerals though. Only a nagging curiosity, and an empty seat that Cipher would push in every time the bell rang.

After class was over, she anxiously scanned the hallway, searching for her brother.

“Come on… We’re gonna be late if you don’t hurry up.” She muttered, tapping her foot.

“Ciphy! I’m here!”

Phainon sped over to her, waving his hand in the air. She breathed out a sigh of relief as he joined her side.

“Quit calling me Ciphy. And what the hell took you so long?” Cipher crossed her arms, following him to their next class.

“I’m sorry! The halls are so crowded today. I think there’s some sort of event going on.” Phainon apologized.

They weaved their way through a crowd of students desperately trying to make it to their class on time. Cipher tightly wrapped her cat hoodie around herself, trying to make herself as small as possible in the huge gathering.

“You know you still look ridiculous in that.” Phainon snickered, flicking an ear on the hoodie.

“Shut up, it looks great!”
“Sure, for a 12 year old.”
“12!? I’m older than you!” Cipher fumed, lightly punching his arm.

“Yet you’re still shorter than me, so it looks like I win here~” Phainon teased, earning himself a second, harsher punch.

Cipher clinged closer to his side still, keeping out of the way.

She held herself back from expectantly gazing over at Castorice’s locker, waiting to spook her.

Still, no one's there.

“You did not tell me there was a test today.” Cipher grumbled, kicking a rock on their way home. It was a hot and humid day, the heat making her more frustrated.

“How was I supposed to know? I’m not psychic.” Phainon laughed.
“I’m not psychic.” Cipher mocked him.

They approached the set of stairs leading up to their apartment floor, Cipher letting out a comfortable sigh at the feeling of shade.

“I hope you trip.” Phainon muttered under his breath.

“Right back at you.”

She stuffed her hands in the brown fuzzy pockets, climbing the stairs behind Phainon. Cipher barely stifled a yawn, as she made it up the second staircase, looking for anything to keep her attention so she wouldn’t curl up and nap on one of the steps.

Someone was being pulled over on the street beneath them. Though, it just looked like a traffic cop. No murder conspiracies today.

An elderly woman was watering her plants at the complex opposite of them. They were teetering on the edge, making Cipher just a little nervous for her.

A familiar girl with lilac hair was returning to her door, struggling to carry two bags of groceries.

Wait, what?

Cipher snapped to attention, getting off on the wrong floor. She quietly got closer, observing the girl.

Long lilac hair, deathly pale skin, ridiculously dark eyebags.

That was Castorice for sure.

“Hey-!” She called out.

Castorice’s head whipped towards Cipher, their eyes meeting for just a second, before she let out a panicked sound, quickly shutting the door behind her and locking it.

Before Cipher could pursue her, Phainon grabbed her arm.

“Wrong floor, stupid.”
“I-! I know that! I’m on my way!” Cipher shook him off, reluctantly heading back for the stairs.

She looked back one last time, memorizing the apartment number.

Is that really you?

Castorice tucked herself underneath her fluffy blanket, sinking her head into the soft pillow.

This was where she was happiest. In her bed, with nothing to do.

Bags were still crowding the kitchen table. She’d put them away later. It wasn’t like she had any refrigerated items in there, anyway. It was all just instant meals so she wouldn’t have to spend too much time cooking.

Actually..I might have bought milk.

Whatever, I’ll do it later.

She yawned, nuzzling her head into the pillows, her tangled hair splayed across the bed. The afternoon sunlight filtered in through her blinds, shining onto her face.

“Urgh…I need to close those.” She turned away into the shadows. The sun gave her such a headache some days. Today wasn’t any kinder to her.

That encounter she had just a few minutes ago still haunted her. God, how she wanted to just disappear under the covers.

Cipher didn’t need to know where she was. It wasn’t of any concern to her in the first place.

It’s only been… Two months. It’s been two months.

Her money was going to run out soon. Castorice’s parents trusted her to hold up just fine by herself, but still sent her a huge envelope of money to get her on her feet.

And here she was. No longer attending school. Fired from her job long ago. Living off of the remaining money.

She knew they’d be disappointed in her. Guilt ate at her heart everytime she replied to a message from them, telling them about how much fun she was having.

Every story was just another lie.

Castorice pulled the blanket further over her head, the mere idea of being confronted by them making her stomach coil with anxiety.

She grabbed her phone off of her nightstand. School had already ended, prompting the emails of her absence to come flooding into her inbox.

Doesn’t matter right now, I have better things to do.

…Like what?

She scrolled through her apps, looking for anything to keep her occupied.

Maybe a new game would help. I hear good things about that new farming one.

Cipher cautiously approached the door, still in her school uniform.

Would Castorice even want her company? Maybe she’s just transferred to another school.

Cipher didn’t want that, but maybe she could get her phone number if that was the case.

She took a deep breath. Here goes nothing.

Cipher rapped her knuckles on the door.

The second her hand left the door, she started pacing around nervously, using the time to try and come up with a greeting.

“Hey.. I haven’t seen you in a while, just wondering how you’ve been..”

No, that sucks! That sounds like I’m an ex boyfriend who just got dumped!

“You’ve been gone for a long time, are you coming back soon?”

That makes me sound like a bitchy boss.

“Are you dying? Are you already dead? Am I standing at this door for nothing?” Cipher muttered just a bit louder to herself.

No one’s even answering.

There was a tiny peephole in the door, just low enough for Cipher to peek into.

She creeped closer, trying to get a good look inside.

The fish eye lense blurred her vision, but she could tell there was someone behind the door.

“Princess Homebody! Are you there?” Cipher called out, watching the person jump back. She knocked on the door again, to make it clear she wasn’t leaving.

“Come on~ Open up the door for your favorite girl!”

No response. The shadow behind the lense started to walk away.
“Huh? Hey! It’s rude to ignore your guests, Princess Homebody!”

The shadow stopped in her tracks, before approaching the peephole again.

“I know you can see me~” She sing songed, grinning.

She grew increasingly uncomfortable though.

Why isn’t she opening the door? Or even responding?  She’s just standing there!

“Hey, if you really want me to go away, you know you can just say it?” Cipher’s smile began to die down.

Silence, as if the shadow were shying away.

“...Can you just let me know you’re not a rotting corpse? Pretty please?”
But the shadow disappeared. Cipher pressed her eye closer to the door. She could only observe as Castorice retreated away.

Seriously!? I go out of my way to check on her, and she ignores me?

Cipher groans, pressing her forehead against the door.

“Fine, you don’t have to talk. I’ll be back, Princess Homebody. Just to make sure you’re not dead.” She promised, turning away.

“Coward.. Can’t even answer the door.” She murmured under her breath, trying to distract herself from the dread that filled her.

Castorice was there.

Why won’t she come out?

Castorice looked through the peephole one more time, confirming Cipher was gone, before sliding down in embarrassment.

“Dammit, I knew I should’ve had the keys out.” She tugged at the strings of her hair in worry.

Great, now Cipher knows where I am. I don’t have the energy for her anymore.

Cipher had left for the day, with a promise she would return soon. The thought made Castorice want to die.

She wrapped herself tightly in her light pink cardigan, falling over onto the scratchy rug. She curled up against the door, eyes fluttering.

God, I really hope she doesn’t tell my parents.

Or the police, if she’s that worried that I’m dead in here.

But most of all?

I hope she doesn’t come back.

Chapter Text

But of course, Cipher wasn’t a quitter.

She returned the very next day, just as promised.

“Phainon, I’ll be up there in a second, just gotta visit someone.” Cipher moved off of the stairs and onto Castorice’s floor.

“I don’t know anyone else that lives here, who are you looking for?” Phainon asked with curiosity.

“None of your business, shoo.” She flicked his head, Phainon responding by jabbing her in the stomach before continuing up the stairs.

Cipher sighed before approaching the door once more, just a little more confident in herself, now that she knew she had her target.

She loudly knocked on the door, looking into the peephole for the moment the shadow would return. It took a minute, but slowly, almost like a snail, Castorice crept out towards the door.

Only to jump back when she saw the blue eye looking right into her purple ones.

Cipher snickered to herself when she saw her startled form.

“Hey, Princess Homebody, I’m back!” She waved excitedly.

Castorice hesitantly looked back outside, Cipher still peering in.

“You sure you don’t wanna open the door? It’s getting hot out here.”

The door didn’t budge.

“Whatever, I don’t mind. Say, are you coming to school anytime soon? It’s dreadfully boring without you.” She whined with a pout on her face.

Cipher backed away from the peephole, crouching down, back against the door.

“You know, finals are coming up soon. Not sure if they’ll let you take it online.” She rested her head against the wood, speaking just loud enough for Castorice to hear her.

“I’m probably gonna fail a few of mine. At least I’ll have a friend in remedial.”
She paused, eyes downcast.

“That is, if you’re coming back. You are coming back, right?”

Cipher heard shuffling behind the door, and a gentle thump, as if someone else was pressing against the door from the inside.

“Some kids are saying you transferred to a new school. Did you get accepted into one of those fancy colleges that you used to talk about?”

Wouldn’t put it past her, with how smart she is.

“You’ve always been at the top of the class. I’m almost a little jealous. But I know how much you overwork yourself with school and stuff, so I hope this shut-in time is a good recharge for you. You definitely deserve it.”

She couldn’t ignore how her chest coiled with concern though.

“God, you’re gonna make me get all sentimental. Point is, I hope you’re doing okay in there, Princess Homebody. And that you’ll open the door for me at some point.”

Before she could stand, she kept one palm on the door, resting her cheek against the cool wood.
“Please.” She muttered.

“Cipher! You on the way?” Phainon called from the staircase.

“Dammit, I’m coming! Don’t be so impatient!”

Castorice looked through the hole just a few minutes longer, ensuring Cipher had left, before sighing, dropping to her knees.
“Leave me alone! I don’t want to talk to anyone!” She shouted in utter frustration to no one in particular, banging on the door. She curled up into herself, feeling her eyes start to sting with tears.

“Why? Why can’t she just go away? I want to be alone, I don’t need her crap! I don’t need anything! Just-” She nearly screamed in rage, scratching at her skin till it was bright red.

It wasn’t Cipher’s fault, she knew that. Yet, she was having a meltdown over a friend’s concern.

What is wrong with me?

She stood up, stomping back to her room and slamming the door behind her, a picture frame nearly falling off the wall from the force.

God, you’re so childish.

Castorice shut her blinds, tucking herself underneath the blanket. The heavy material pressed into her skin, helping her breath once again.

“It’s okay… It’s gonna be okay. She’s not coming back for the rest of the day. We can deal with this later.” She sighed, clutching onto her head with her hands.

But she’ll be back tomorrow.

She was coming back, and there was nothing Castorice could do to stop her.

She glanced over at a pile of index cards on the nightstand, a pen placed next to them.

Guess they can be used for this too.

She rolled over, pulling the cap off of the pen and grabbing a card to write down one message.

“Please go away.”

“Hyacine! Hyacine, come here!”

Cipher waved down Hyacine from across the hallway. The pink girl glanced up, spotting Cipher and running over with a smile.

“Hey Cipher! Did you need something?” She asked.

“Yeah, walk with me really quick.” Cipher grabbed her by the arm gently, moving down the hall towards the girls bathroom.

“Huh? But isn’t your class-”
“Fuck class, I gotta talk to you.” She commented, moving faster. Hyacine sped up slightly to keep up with her.

Cipher pulled open the door, shutting it behind them. She hopped up onto the counter, resting her head against the wall.

“What’s this about? I’m gonna be late for class.” Hyacine crossed her arms, leaning against a stall door. Cipher sighed.

“Okay, don’t freak out.”
Hyacine narrowed her eyes at her.

“That’s usually code for ‘Get ready to freak the hell out.’”

“I found Castorice.”
Hyacine paused, staring blankly at her.

“S-Seriously? That Castorice? The one who hasn’t shown up in ages?” She stammered in disbelief.

“The one and only.”
“ I thought she disappeared or something. No one said anything about her moving, so I just thought it was a painful topic..”
“That’s the problem, she did disappear. Inside her apartment. And she’s refusing to open the door. Hell, she’s refusing to even answer me.”

“Is she alright?” Hyacine tilted her head, worry spreading across her face.
“How should I know? I know she’s listening to me, I can see her through the peep hole, but she just doesn’t speak at all.” 

Hyacine hummed, sitting down on the floor in thought.

“I’m glad she’s alright but… do you know if she’s even gone outside once?”

“I saw her carrying groceries once, but that was the first and last time I’d seen her.” Cipher recalled, drumming her fingers on the counter.
Now that I think about it, those bags were filled to the brim with instant noodles, like she was preparing for doomsday.
Or worse, not having to go outside for another month.

The bell rang out, echoing through the bathroom, causing Hyacine to groan.

“It’s fine, just tell him you had to run errands for another teacher.” Cipher waved it off.

“Are you gonna keep going back?”
“Of course I am! She doesn’t get to just disappear for months and then ignore me!”

Hyacine chuckled lightly, glancing up at the sunlight pouring in through the tiny window.

“You’re stubborn.”
“I’m concerned.”
“Give her your number or something. If she doesn’t wanna talk, then she can text.” Hyacine suggested. Cipher’s eyes lit up, opening up her backpack, digging around to find a sheet of paper.

“Good idea. I was focused on trying to get her number, forgot I could just give her my own!”

“How do you forget that?!” Hyacine laughed.

Cipher ripped off a chunk of paper,  setting it down on the counter. She pushed out the lead in the blue pencil, scribbling down her phone number.

She folded up the paper, stuffing it into the side pocket.

“You sure I can’t come with you after school? I’ve been worried about her too.”

“Ah.. That might not be the best idea. Maybe later, alright?”

Hyacine pouted in defeat.

“You better say hi to her for me.”

“Princess Homebody~!”
She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw a sheet of paper slide out from under the door.

Cipher ran up to the door, crouching down to pick it up.

Finally, an explanation? Took her long enough!

But when she picked it up..

There were only three words, written in thick black ink.

“Please go away.”
Cipher’s breath hitched her throat. She gazed back up at the door in shock.

“Are you…..”
She stood up, clutching the note tightly in her hands.
“Are you fucking kidding me?!” She shouted.

“Princess Homebody, you can’t-! You can’t just leave me alone! With no explanation either!” She banged a fist on the door angrily. The paper crumpled in her hands, falling to the floor in a ball. Cipher looked into the peephole.

No one was even there.

“Princess Homebody!” She called out.

No shadows.

“Goddammit, Castorice!”
Nobody.

She looked back at her backpack, her own note still in the pocket.

She doesn’t want me here. What’s the point?

Cipher glanced back at the door.

The idea of leaving with no fight made her feel wrong.

Something was going on, Castorice wasn’t okay. And the thought of something happening to her made Cipher want to cry.

Forget it.

She kneeled back down, slipping her note halfway under the crack of the door.
“My number’s there if you want it.”
Nothing.

Cipher took a deep breath, forcing down her desire to break down that door.

“I’m not giving up, Cas. Not until you tell me yourself that you’re okay.”
She turned away, walking back to the staircase.

Unaware of her note sliding the rest of the way through the crack, picked up by a pale girl with purple hair.

Chapter Text

“Hey, Phainon?”
Cipher knocked on his door, peering her head inside. He yelped, jumping back. The sword in his hands nearly fell out of his grip.

“..Were you posing again?” She sighed.

“Shut up. It’s a cool sword.” Phainon glared at her, resting it gently on his bed.

“Whatever, listen. Do you know Castorice?” She asked, taking a seat on his leather desk chair.

“Castorice? I think I’ve seen her before. That’s the one with the light purple hair right?”

Cipher nodded. “Yeah, that’s her.”
“I haven’t seen her in a while, so I’m probably not the best person to ask here.” He laid down on his bed, holding the sword up to the light, watching the metal gleam.

“Yeah, no shit. She went missing from school 2 months ago.”

Phainon’s eyes flicked over to her.

“What? Is she alright?”

“She’s the girl I’ve been going to visit before and after school. She’s been hiding in her apartment for god knows why.”
Phainon sat up, setting down the sword next to him.

“Well, that explains a lot. Any idea why?”
“Nope, the only response I have gotten out of her these past few days is this.”
She held up the notecard for Phainon. He took it out of her hands, reading the words scribbled down.

“Damn. Are you being a creep to her or something?”

“What?! No! I am not a creep!” Cipher exclaimed, crossing her arms.

“I mean, you did just say you visit her in the morning and evening..”

Cipher groaned, snatching the paper back.

“You’re not helpful.”
“What do you want me to do? I barely know her!”

“I don’t know, give me advice or something! Be a good sibling or whatever.” Cipher shrugged, folding back up the note.

“Call for a wellness check? Break down the door with an axe?” Phainon shot out. Cipher rubbed the bridge of her noise in annoyance.

“Hey, you wanted ideas! I’m giving ideas.”

“I’m out of here. You suck.” Cipher stood up, heading for the door.

“Ungrateful! Booo!” Phainon shouted after her, right before the door clicked shut.

Cipher sighed, closing her own bedroom door behind her.

“So, she wants me to fuck off, and my brother sucks at advice…” She muttered to herself.

Maybe a wellness check is my best option at this rate.

Of course, that was until she heard the buzz on her nightstand.

Cipher picked up her phone, checking her inbox, only to feel her breath hitch when she saw the notification on the screen.

Castorice: hey, it’s cas here

She quickly sat down, mind still catching up.

Oh my god. She’s texting me.

Cipher quickly opened her messages to type up a reply.

Cifera: THERE YOU ARE

Cifera: girl where have you been

Cifera: why won’t you respond to me

Cifera: are you dead

Castorice: oh damn calm down

Calm down?! How the hell does anyone calm down in this situation?!

Cifera: princess homebody i can’t physically calm down

Cifera: you’ve been missing for two months, and every attempt i’ve made to talk to you has been ignored

Cifera: i wasn’t even sure you were gonna pick my number up

Castorice: princess homebody??

Cifera: that’s what you are

Cifera: considering you literally never leave your home anymore

Castorice: ohh i see

Cifera: just please answer me this

Cifera: are you okay??

Castorice: i’m fine cipher

It took far too long for her to reply to that.

Cifera: ok

Cifera: i don’t know why you left

Cifera: but are you coming back?

Cifera: i miss you

Castorice: lmao really?

Castorice: what happened to the proud cipher that refused to admit she was sad over something?

Cifera: shut up cassie >:(

Castorice: hehe

Cifera: seriously though

Castorice: i’m not sure when i’ll be back

Castorice: don’t worry about it though

Cifera: i AM gonna worry about it

Castorice: whyyy

Castorice: i’m perfectly finee

Cifera: bullshit

Cifera: if you’re perfectly fine then open the door next time i show up

Castorice: but it’s so dreadfully hot out there

Her ability to joke like this is insane.

Cifera: yeah, that’s why you should let me in so i don’t suffer

Castorice: ohh fair point

Castorice: no <3

Cifera: AAAAA

Cifera: i’m gonna cook alive princess homebody

Castorice: are you gonna keep calling me that

Cifera: until i can guarantee that you’ve actually gotten more than 5 minutes of sunshine, yes

Castorice: aw mann

Cifera: have you been doing okay in there?

Cifera: what have you been up to

Castorice: just lounging around and relaxing

Cifera: that’s a lot of words to say nothing..

Castorice: i’ve been doing stuff!

Cifera: like school?

Castorice: ok well no but i’ve been active

Cifera: mhm sureeee

Castorice: really!

Cifera: oh how i doubt you immensely

Castorice: cruel

Cifera: i’ll let you go do “stuff” then

Cifera: just

Cifera: can you promise me that you’ll message me everyday

Cifera: please

Castorice: you’re so clingy

Castorice: when did this happen

Cifera: bitch when you went missing for TWO MONTHS

Castorice: fair

Castorice: it’s a promise

Cifera: thank you

Cifera: get a good sleep, ok?

Castorice: you too

That was far too close.

Castorice shut her phone off, tossing it across the room. She stared out of her window, up at the bright crescent moon.

This would be easy. She just had to keep messaging Cipher, until she forgot about her existence.

She did it with her parents, she can do it with Cipher.

She cares too much for her own good.

Castorice hugged the pillow close to her chest, resting her cheek against it.

I really thought she hated me, with all of her teasing.

Then again, she always had the lingering fear in the back of her mind that everyone hated her.

She wouldn’t blame them either.

“What will I do when she finds out…” She whispered to herself.

The easy answer was that Cipher would never find out. That Castorice would play her part so well that Cipher would determine that she was fine, and go away.

But that was just a hopeful dream.

Cipher would realize the truth soon. Castorice was never the best at hiding her self destructive habits. Her teachers noticed it, and some of her close friends too.

“Castorice, your daydreaming is causing your grades to slip. What’s going on?”

She could always pull another all nighter to make up for a poor grade.

“Cas, you’ve looked sad recently. Do you wanna talk about it?”

Another smile, just a little more effort to look normal.

But she couldn’t hide from Cipher. She knew that once Cipher was set on something, she would never back down.

And now, she was set on making sure she was okay.

She never thought those words would make her feel so much dread.