Chapter Text
“Stupid boys! Stupid engagement! Stupid perverts! Stupid Ranma! Stupid stupid stupid!”
Akane Tendo muttered to herself as she rifled through her witchcraft materials. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get that stupid smile out of her head.
The stupid smile Ranma had given her when she’d asked her if they could be friends.
And then he had to come in and ruin it! That stupid pervert! Taking that sweet girl away from her, forcing her into an engagement? At some level, Akane knew she’d have to get married in order to inherit the Dojo, that to keep it in the family it’d have to be passed down as a wedding gift, but she’d always thought she’d have time to herself to plan and find someone she loved! But here was some boy who skipped school so he could just practice martial arts all day and yes Akane loved the art too but there was more to life than that and anyways he was a pervert and was trying to peep on her in the bath and–
Akane slapped herself in the face to pull herself out of the spiral. She needed to focus on what was important for the sake of the spell. That Ranma guy had taken that sweet girl who made her heart flutter away from her! Or, well, no, that Ranma guy had pretended to be the most beautiful girl Akane had ever seen, in order to… get her to lower her defenses or something? Honestly, Akane didn’t have a clear idea of his motivations. She just knew he had to pay.
Of course, none of her spells had actually ever worked. As Akane went through her preparations, a part of her assumed this was just a way to vent her frustrations. In the morning? Nothing would have changed, and she’d have to deal with that. But she was trying to be less violent, and witchcraft, no matter how fake, had thus far been her most successful alternative outlet.
Akane cackled to herself as she mentally got into character. Oh? He wanted to pretend to be a girl to spy on girls? She just had to do something about that. In fact, she’d give him exactly what he wanted! He’d never have trouble finding a girl to look at again!
She drummed her sparkly black nails against her ritual altar (her desk), checking the circle and placement of the crystals one last time. Satisfied it matched her design, she carefully pulled out a few loose black hairs she’d fished out of the furo and placed them in the center of the circle. Then, she pulled out her athame – which, due to legal restrictions, was effectively just a small knife-shaped letter opener – and carefully pricked the tip of her thumb, letting a bead of blood drip down the length of the “blade”.
“In peace you came, peddling your lies,
A girl and a Panda, a massive surprise!
Speak not of weddings, no more falsehoods shall ye preach,
You’ve tricked me once, and so the spirits, I beseech!
Til you climb the tallest mountain, and swim the widest sea,
Never again shall a man ye be!”
Akane brought down her athame into the center of the circle, splitting the hairs in two, as a perfectly timed lightning bolt lit up her room. Akane let the cackle within her rise, feeling powerful from just how well that had gone off! She’d never had thematically appropriate lightning before! She couldn’t help herself from letting her cackle rise until, surely, the entire house could hear her.
A loud “bang” against the wall shocked her into silence.
“Shut the fuck up, you hag! Some of us are trying to sleep!” Nabiki shouted through the adjoining wall. “We have school tomorrow!”
“Sorry! Sorry…” Akane responded, too quiet to be heard through the wall, but the message was received. She was done, anyways. And Nabiki was right… she needed to get ready for bed.
Akane applied pressure to her thumb with her tongue to stop the bleeding while she got up to turn her lights on so she could clean up. With a flick of a switch, the room shifted from a macabre, blacklit ritual space to the bedroom of a rather ordinary teenage girl. A quick look in the mirror on her dresser reminded her to remove her makeup, so she pulled out some wipes, and off came the dark eyeliner, the black lipstick, and the tattoo-like patterns she’d drawn all over her neck and shoulders. Initially, she’d drawn those in an attempt to scare boys off. Tattoos were dangerous; their association with Yakuza should have driven the boys away, but it seemed to just draw more of them after her, on top of getting her in trouble with all of her teachers. At least the fact that they were fake seemed to have stopped her dad from actually having a heart attack. She probably should have stopped drawing them months ago, but… she kinda liked how they looked. She had fun changing up their designs each day, and they let her feel more connected to the western ideas of witchcraft she’d become so enamored by over the last few years.
Still, they had to go. Sleeping in makeup was not good for her skin. At least her hair was still holding onto some of the blue from the last time she dyed it… though it could use a touchup. Her roots were showing, and it was fading unevenly. Maybe she’d just go with a streak of blue, next time? It’d probably look pretty good with her natural black.
She turned back towards her desk, and started to put away her ritual tools. Idly, she noticed that the hairs she’d cut appeared almost red in this lighting. Perhaps it was because of the blood? Must have been… no one in the house, not even the newcomers, had hair anywhere close to that color. Idly, she brushed them into the trash, decided her desk was clean enough, turned the lights back off, and flopped into bed.
Ranma was already having a weird dream, but it only got weirder when a girl version of himself with bright red hair came out of the sky, yanked him out of the old-timey racing car he’d been in, pulled him away from his intelligent pet pig and Ucchan – who, for some reason, was a girl in this dream – shook the werewolf out of him, and set him down in an otherwise featureless void. She looked at him expectantly as he tried to get his bearings.
“What the hell?” He asked, feeling weirdly lucid.
“Do you want to be a girl?” The girl asked.
He glared at her.
“You know I can’t. I’m a guy. A man amongst men. The curse doesn’t change that! Pops keeps tellin’ me so!”
“But do you want to be one?” She asked.
“Just because the girl form is my own fault doesn’t mean I want it!” He shouted at her, before continuing in a quiet voice, “Just another mistake I have to fix. Another obstacle in the way of me becoming a true man.”
“Do you want to be a man, then?”
“No one wants to be a man.” He insisted. “That’s why it’s so hard. If it were easy, it wouldn’t be much of an achievement.”
“So what do you want to be?”
“I dunno… I just… obviously I gotta work hard to be a man! And I have, despite my mistakes. But… I guess… since you keep askin’… if I were like… turned into a girl for a while? And it wasn’t my fault? That wouldn’t be awful, I guess. Just… let me see what it’s like, without having to feel so guilty about it all the time.”
The girl smiled at him, almost predatorily. He took a step back as she opened her mouth.
“Your wish has been heard, and so it shall be,
Together, entwined, in destiny.”
He turned to run from the creepy voice that came out of her mouth, but she was too fast. In a flash, she dove headfirst directly into his chest, and he felt his body changing. Unlike the instant, disorienting change that happened whenever he was splashed, this was slow, almost a sensual caress, as he felt his body morph into a familiar shape. In the end, he was left kneeling, alone in the void, in the shape of a girl, with unfamiliar red hair hanging in front of his eyes.
Overwhelmed, all he could do was laugh.
Ranma woke up with a chuckle dying on his lips. Probably a remnant from whatever weird dream he was having. The one with Dracula and the wacky race and the talking pig that had an oddly familiar voice. He was too groggy to remember what was so funny, so instead he brushed the red hair out of his face, fumbled around for a tie, gathered it into a low ponytail, like he’d done many times before, stretched, and got out of bed.
He looked around the guest room. Akane was in her room, doing her makeup, so he figured she was out of the way of his path downstairs. Which was good, he didn’t want to deal with her anger while he went down the stairs to meet up with Pops for training. It wasn’t like he’d chosen this engagement, either! Nor did he choose to flip back and forth between a boy and a girl all the time! It wasn’t (entirely) his fault!
As he made his way past the kitchen, he noticed the eldest Tendo daughter – what was her name again… um… Ka… Kasumi? Yeah! That was it – starting to get breakfast prepared. She also looked quite confused upon noticing him.
“Oh dear, did you get splashed overnight?” She asked.
“Whaddayamean, splashed? No… I went to bed like this. S’fine.”
“As a girl?”
“No, as a–” He stopped himself as his groggy brain caught up with what was being said.
Nope. Those were definitely breasts. He was a girl right now.
“Huh. Maybe I did get splashed.” He finished.
Kasumi frowned.
“Someone must have pranked you. I hope that tomato sauce didn’t stain anything else…”
“Whaddaya mean, tomato sauce?” Ranma asked, running his fingers through his hair. It felt normal, it felt…
It wasn’t in its braid.
Where was the dragon whisker?!
He yanked his ponytail forward. It was red, just like the girl in his dream last night! And there was no trace of the dragon whisker, nor anything caught in his hair. No tomato sauce, no leftover dye, just… his hair was red, now.
In a panic, he started searching the floor around himself, looking for the whisker, trying to find where it fell out. He traced his steps back to the stairs.
“I’ll um… I’ll just get some water boiling.” Kasumi said, but he hardly noticed as he tore up the stairs, inspecting every nook and cranny.
He traced back to where he’d slept, where he’d gone to bed, as a man, with it braided into his hair. He tore through his stuff, searching. It was nowhere to be found. Akane seemed confused. She came out of her room and started walking down the hall, towards him.
Why did he know that? Why did he know he knew that! It didn’t make sense. He hadn’t seen her all morning. Yet, when he tore out of the guest room, rushing towards the furo, she was exactly where he already knew she was, with her fancy makeup all done and a concerned expression like she knew something about him, too.
But he didn’t have time to deal with that. So he ran up the side of the wall to leap over her, then dove into the furo. A bit more scrambling later, and he splashed down into the hot tub. He had a hunch. He had to know. After the dream… the tingliness he’d had since the whisker stock, even in his girl form, was completely gone. Had it faded away? Would his hair no longer grow out of control?
Was he… no longer part man?
He emerged from the hot water unchanged. He was still a girl. The panic was rising in his chest. Why didn’t he change back?! Akane had turned around and almost followed him into the furo, but stopped herself. Perhaps she didn’t want a repeat viewing? Well, she was the pervert who peeked, not him!
As he dragged himself and his soaking wet clothes out of the tub, he heard the distant whistle of the kettle as it reached a boil.
Maybe he just needed hotter water! Yeah! That was it! He had to do everything he could, otherwise, what kind of man was he? Real men didn’t just give up and accept… accept femininity!
He slipped as he tried to run out of the furo, but he was too determined to let that stop him. He pushed forwards on all fours, not even thinking as he darted low between Akane’s legs as if his body was made of liquid, bounced off the wall, and tore his way down to the kitchen.
Kasumi was reaching towards the handle of the kettle, but Ranma was faster. It was like the world had stopped as he snatched it out from under Kasumi’s hand. With speed even he wasn’t aware he possessed, he poured the actively boiling water onto his arm.
It hurt like hell, but still no change.
There was only one thing left to do.
Ranma screamed as he dumped the entire contents of the kettle over his head, but his voice did not deepen. He did not get taller. He did not become a man.
All he did was burn.
Pops was in the kitchen in an instant. He noticed the steam rising off of Ranma, saw what form he was in, and reacted quickly. Cold water to soothe the burns, even though Pops got some of it on himself, and turned into a Panda.
But that was okay, Pandas gave great hugs.
Ranma cried into his father’s furry chest. He’d failed. He couldn’t be a man amongst men like this. He’d squandered his father’s training. Lost the dragon whisker his father had given up for him. He was stuck like this forever and he’d never get to see his mother again and his whole life had been shattered in front of him and his skin still burned but at least that would heal but he couldn’t change back!
A while later, he felt the fur recede as Kasumi returned with some hot water and poured it over Pops. He held him close, letting his father gently and calmingly stroke his hair. He should have grown out of needing this by now, but right now, he really needed it.
“Son,” Pops said, voice full of concern. “Talk to me. What happened?”
Ranma clung tighter, and took a deep breath.
“I-I woke up and I was a girl and my hair was red and the whisker was gone and I couldn’t find it and I can’t change back and I’m so so sorry pops! I’m Sorry!” He whined.
“It’s okay, Ranma. It’s okay.” Pops knelt down to look him in the eye. “Things happen. And we’ll get through them. No matter what, you are my son. The manliest of men. And I will love you and support you and make sure you always have everything you need. If we have to make a man out of you the old fashioned way, now? Well, it ain’t necessarily legal, but I know some people. It’s going to be okay, son. I will make sure of it.”
Ranma nodded, then watched his father’s eyes harden at something over Ranma’s shoulder. Akane, he realized. She was standing there with hand in front of her mouth, and as Ranma turned to look at her with his actual eyes? He couldn’t help but notice:
Her eyes were full of guilt.
Pops gave a low growl.
“What did you do to my son.”
“So that’s just it, then.” Ranma let out a defeated sigh. “I could probably climb Everest, but there ain’t no way I could swim across the entire pacific. Guess I’m a girl for life, then.”
He felt oddly lighter for getting that off of his chest.
“I’m sorry,” Akane said, and she did look honestly remorseful. “I never thought it would actually work.”
“Son, listen here.” Pops said. “We can defeat this kind of curse. There’s gotta be loopholes! Or more powerful magic we can use to break it! We know the beast we’re facing, so we can figure out how to beat it.”
“Don’t bother.” Ranma said, falling back onto Akane’s bed. She glared at him, but given what happened, he deserved to be able to sit down. “Pacific’s impossible. Guess I’m just a girl now. At least I don’t have to worry about my hair anymore.”
“Ranma, we can still–” Pops started.
“Don’t bother.” Ranma cut him off. “Just… please. Don’t.”
Pops gave him a concerned look.
“Son… are you sure?”
“I… yes. We’ve got bigger things to worry about.” Ranma turned to avoid looking his father in the eye.
“If that’s what you wish, I will respect it.” Pops said. “But if at any point you decide otherwise? I will go to the ends of the earth to fix this for you. In any way I can. You can count on it.”
“Thanks Pops.” Ranma said. It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate the support, but it somehow felt oddly hollow. It just… wasn’t worth doing. “If you don’t mind… could I… have a moment, alone, to speak with my fiancée?”
Pops looked between the two of them, a grim expression on his face.
“Are you sure you still want her to be your fiancée, son? After all this?”
Ranma grimaced.
“Kinda need to talk to her to figure that out.”
“If you’re sure.” Pops said, before turning to Akane. “Listen, girl, I’m going to be nearby. I’ll hear if something goes wrong. And if you so much as harm a single hair on my son’s head ever again, you best hope he’s still the forgiving type, because no other force on earth, not even your father, will be able to protect you. Am I clear?”
“C-Crystal.” Akane stammered out.
And then Pops disappeared. Vanished, like he’d become invisible. There was a soft creak as the door opened, then closed. For a few seconds, Ranma listened. Followed the breaths, counted the heartbeats. They were, indeed, alone.
“Well. That was awkward.” He said.
“I’m sorry. I really didn’t think anything would happen.” Akane said.
“I know. You’ve said it several times.”
“I just… I want you to believe me, I really–”
“I know.” Ranma cut her off. “I believe you. I’m… not even sure you could lie to me, anymore.”
Akane paused, then let out a held breath.
“So… you feel it too?”
“Yeah. Yeah I do.”
“I wasn’t sure what was happening… I just knew you were panicking, and…”
“I did not panic!” Ranma scoffed. “I, as a great man amongst men, kept a very level head and focus throughout the entire process.”
“Yeah. Sure.” Akane said, but there was no weight behind the words. “So… you really don’t want your dad out there, looking for a cure? He seemed pretty determined.”
“It doesn’t matter.” Ranma said. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Well, clearly, I don’t know what I’m doing, so he seems like your best bet. Do you… not want to get cured?”
Ranma narrowed his eyes.
“Don’t be ridiculous! Of course I want to change back. I’m a man amongst men!”
Akane blinked at that.
“Don’t lie to me, Ranma, you–”
“I didn’t.” Ranma insisted.
Akane blinked again, taking a moment to gather her thoughts before continuing.
“Oh… so you really… okay. I’m sorry.”
They sat in uncomfortable silence for a while, staring at each other.
“Yesterday. You said… you said you wanted to be friends.” Ranma stated. It was not a question.
“I… I did.” Akane offered. “But you deserve better than me after–”
“Not a lie.” Ranma smirked. “But you offered, and I…” He shrunk in on himself, pulling his legs to his chest. “I’m going to need a friend. Need someone to help me get on my feet. Start living… like this.”
“As a girl?”
“As a man who looks like a girl.” Ranma snapped.
Akane stared at him, incredulously, for a few long moments.
“Sure.” She said.
“Sure, you’ll be my friend?” He asked.
“I’ll help you.” She clarified. “I definitely owe you that much. Just… can we drop the whole fiancée thing? I’m pretty sure it’d destroy what’s left of my reputation at school.”
Ranma felt his lips stretch into a wicked grin.
“I won’t talk about it at school or nothin’, but as far as our fathers are concerned? It’s on until you can figure out how to fix this.”
“Oh yeah, how’s that supposed to work? Two girls can’t get married, Ranma!”
“But I’m not a girl.” Ranma sprung his trap. “Not on the family registry.”
“You wouldn’t!” Akane insisted. But it was a lie. Which meant Akane knew better.
So he just grinned as widely as he could.