Chapter Text
The snow was too unbearably loud
Every crunch under your shoes every whisper of ice breaking it all swelled into a drumbeat inside your head you couldn’t catch your breath your chest felt like it was caving in and burning out all at once but you still held the tether tight refusing to let go Sans’s outline flickered at your side translucent his shape stuttering in and out of the world like a flame trying to cling to its wick you could see him—more importantly Gaster could see him
The problem was you were the one holding him there
Your body your soul wasn’t built for this not for channeling his magic not for splitting the weight of two souls balanced precariously in one frame and it burned you from the inside out your hands shook no matter how hard you pressed them into your pockets and your throat felt raw from breaths that came too shallow too quick but you couldn’t stop because if you did Gaster would think Sans wasn’t there that he’d been erased abandoned stolen and that wasn’t true
“you’re burning out star boy” Sans’s voice cracked across the tether sharp with anger but fraying at the edges with something closer to panic his eye-lights seared against the night pinned on you the tether in your ribs seared hot Sans flared in answer the faint fire of him stuttering he leaned toward you outline rippling and his voice cracked sharp inside your chest you staggered caught yourself halfway only to crumple again the earth tilted like a shipwreck under you breath tore sharp ragged the thrum of your soul went uneven the edges fraying like torn fabric
“you’re killin’ yourself star boy drop it now” you shook your head stubbornly or maybe your body shook for you—you weren’t sure anymore “not—can’t he’ll think he won” Sans swore low electricity buzzing through the tether his outline flickered harder one knee bending as though he might vanish outright “dammit dammit listen to me—this ain’t proof worth dyin’ for”
Behind you Gaster tilted his head that grin too wide cane planted into the snow like a conductor waiting for the orchestra to breathe his sockets glimmered faint with that eerie static glow studying you like you were nothing more than an equation left unsolved you both ignored him but the heat surged beneath your skin fever pounding your vision streaking Sans’s voice snapped across the tether sharper than usual no room for jokes his sockets burned into you eye-lights raw with worry “drop it i mean it this isn’t worth it”
You shook your head jaw set you were DETERMIND
When your outline staggered—when your vision doubled and his flickering form nearly vanished—Sans snapped his magic flared unbidden bleeding lavender light into your trembling hands stabilizing his shape just enough to hold it scorched you left your skin fever-hot your chest aching like a cracked bell“he’s unraveling” his tone was silk but there was iron under it “you tethered him to flesh not built to carry him such recklessness” he drifted closer too close his shadow drowning yours “shall i watch you die dolly or shall i—”
“that’s it” Sans hissed his tone no longer a whisper in your ribs but sharp cutting demanding through clenched teeth “doc—old bones fix him now” he said voice a command Gaster’s grin faltered his cane slipped half an inch in the snow sockets flickering at the sound of Sans’s voice raw and commanding it reminded him of that man he blinked once and for a fleeting moment the sharpness in his face cracked with something almost human—something dangerously close to need “you…” his voice caught uneven shaking “you’re asking me”
“don’t make me repeat myself” Sans’s outline flared brighter though you could feel the strain ripping him thinner “no excuses no stalling you fix him now” Gasters eyes was softer now “…dolly” he murmured voice trembling between reverence and ache “so you do still need me”
“don’t flatter yourself” Sans spat outline jittering with the strain “this is not about us but about him” his gaze cut at you then back at Gaster “and if you’re half the genius you claim you’ll quit gloating and talking and start fixing before i do something real stupid” the word stupid tasted strange on Sans—it wasn’t lazy it was a threat Gaster’s fingers flexed along his cane he chuckled low broken too warm around the edges “ah demanding just like old times very well little star-doll i will not let you shatter” his gaze dropped on you that grin sharpening again “but for me to mend you… i must see" it took you a moment to understand then your stomach dropped your soul
The tether thrashed under your ribs heat blooming sharp Sans’s fury detonated instantly his voice snapped across you like a whip so cold it made your fever burn hotter “no” Gaster only tilted his head grin stretching static crackling faintly at his sockets “Sans don’t be crude you know as well as i do—i cannot heal blind the boy is already cracking you want him to survive this don’t you or… do you prefer he rot for your pride”
“you smug—” Sans’s voice caught teeth grit so hard you felt it echo in your chest “i said no” Sans’s tone sharpened like steel rare anger vibrating through every word “you don’t touch that not him not us” his outline flared dangerously bright then flickered thinning again under the strain his gaze cut to you eye-light burning desperate “Astreous don’t you dare do you hear me that’s not for him not him” you swallowed throat dry he was right you knew what it meant your soul no yours and Sans’s fused together showing the soul wasn’t casual monsters didn’t bare their souls unless bound by vows intimacy deeper than blood it was sacred dangerous final
But your body was failing you could feel the fever burning you alive your bones aching like they were splintering from within your vision tunneling in and out and through it all Sans was frsying his voice raw with a helplessness you hadn’t heard before “starlight” he muttered softer now like the fight drained out of him for a breath he kneeled next to your trying to ymtouch your hand basically his “please don’t give him that not him not old bones you don’t get how deep it cuts i can take the burn i’ll hold you together just… don’t” but you couldn’t you couldn’t keep him visible like this without tearing yourself apart and if you burned out completely you’d take him with you
You swayed breath jagged your lips trembled "but what what if you dissapear completely if i let you go" yous said even if you and Sans didn't have alot of time to be together you enjoyed your time with him immensely and it felt like you and him didn't have alot of time to be together you enjoyed your time with him immensely and it felt like you and him didn't just meet very recently but like you've known him a long time Sans snapped you out of your thoughts “starlight” his outline snapped bright for a second then flickered violently his sockets locked on yours desperate “starlight please i mean it” but your chest felt like it was splintering apart tether unraveling you couldn’t… you couldn’t keep him steady anymore and you didn't want to risk losing him again your voice cracked out before you could stop it
“do it”
“move" Gaster ordered ordered finally kneeling beside you his skeletal hands hovered above your chest not quite touching he was close enough that you could feel the weight of his magic pressing down probing peeling back layers of you like an autopsy you closed your eyes drew what scraps of courage you had left and let the tether loosen light spilled through your chest too bright too raw illuminating the snow in a halo
your soul
but not just yours
it pulsed with his too—the fracture and seam of Sans bound with your own fused by accident or fate the fused soul half Sans and half you flickering in your chest twin notes in one aching chord it flickered fever-bright trembling the colors bending your soul Sans recognize the colors the traits of your soul the purple preserverance with the secondary trait as kindness Sans almost laughed it oddly fitted you but there was also something else a second half of your soul was white threads of lavender like strings sparking across it like veinslike a star on the verge of collapse its light was cracked its edges raw and bleeding
Gaster inhaled sharp and reverent sockets dilating like a starving man shown a feast “ahh… magnificent” his voice cracked with hunger with ache “so that’s where you’ve been hiding dolly in the seams of another” Sans surged fury thrumming hot “shut your mouth” his voice blistered with venom but his hand—his translucent hand—faltered curling like he wanted to shield you but couldn’t touch his eye-lights snapped to you searing desperate “starlight don’t look at him don’t let him inside further”
but Gaster was already moving his free hand lifting fingers curling like hooks light gathering around them healing magic—gold sterile surgical—flared against the night it wrapped around your soul like wires sharp and invasive peeling at the cracks Sans had been holding together you gasped the sensation blinding not pain—something deeper like he’d reached past your skin past your bones into the seam where you and Sans were tied together Sans roared so loud you felt it echo magic thrashing “get out—”
"dolly” Gaster murmured his grin razor-thin sockets bright with static “this is not for you this is for the boy you’ve bled dry for the cracks you let spread be still and let me fix what you couldn’t” but his hands trembled not from strain from the way Sans’s demand still echoed in the night because that was the proof he’d wanted all along—that Sans still needed him meanwhile you clutched at your chest breaths shallow fever wracking you through the haze you caught fragments—Sans’s fury Gaster’s fixation your own heart thrumming too fast the healing seared through you patching cracks cooling fever steadying what had been left to splinter but it was too much too invasive too close when Gaster finally drew back the glow from his hands fading your chest sagged with a half-breath of relief the fever hadn’t vanished but it loosened no longer crushing your ribs
you collapsed gasping half-conscious the last thing you felt before the dark pulled you under was Sans’s voice furious and broken at once tearing through the tether—“star—stay with me don’t you let him take this from you stay” your eyelids sank heavy you wanted to smile to tell him you were fine but your throat caught on a cough that dragged fire through your lungs Gaster’s shadow loomed behind him watching his sockets gleamed with unreadable intent—part triumph part bitterness part something frighteningly close to longing “he will recover” he said simply as if nothing had happened “my work holds but scars remain as they always do” his grin cracked wider “souls never heal quite the same”
Sans whipped around his outline flickering jagged “get away from him” he said and for once Gaster complied taking his cane and stepping two steps away his gaze heavy Sans held our soul delicately softly pushing it to your chest it complied slipping back into position and last thing you remember before you fully fell asleep was him kissing yo-his no uour horns slightly muttering "Astreous i got you always”