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Chapter 5: that secret of yours, your heartbeat gets louder

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A resigned sigh echoes throughout the empty office. An hour of overtime finally paid off just in time for the clock to hit six in the afternoon. Zoey leans back in her desk chair, swiveling lightly as she peers past her screen, watching it slowly shut off in her peripheral vision. The desk chair in front of her that’s usually occupied by her favorite coworker now empty.

 

Her lips pursed as she pouts, huffing in response. Overtime was such a mood killer and it didn’t help that it was only her that had overtime this week.

 

It’s just for today. Zoey thinks, sighing again, The computer shuts off completely and she finally gets off from her desk, purse already slung over her shoulder. The office felt odd as it was empty, seeing all the empty rows of desk chairs that were once filled with her co-workers earlier, especially the one that had laid in front of her. Rumi had only looked at her with a pitiful expression on her face when she learned that her deskmate had to stay behind to continue on her overtime work assigned by their team leader.

 

It didn’t help that the office always had an ominous atmosphere, given the lack of decorations and the furniture—if you could even call it that—set in their office were in off-white and beige colors which did nothing but add to the hospital feel their office always had been giving since its last renovation.

 

Zoey hurries in her pace as she taps her ID by the exit. A satisfied hum leaving her lips as she sees her face by the scanner before she hurriedly exits the office. Heels clicking in rapid succession as she leaves, and if Zoey wasn’t mistaken she could hear a second pair of clicks on top of hers. But that was surely just her imagination—being cooped up in the office for too long certainly did something to her even if it was just for today. She tries to shrug it off as she hurries in her pace, feeling the eerie aura catch up to her.

 

“Miss Son”

 

She feels all the hair on her arms rise up as she hears her name on any other lips than her own. She was sure this place was haunted. She had made sure there was no one else at the office when she had left—she had even done a once-over twice to check and make sure she hadn’t left anything behind and even then there had been no one else but her and her own shadow casted by the horrific hospital-like lighting they had.

 

But she freezes, her feet absolutely refusing to move as she hears the same clicks in rapid succession other from herself.

 

“Miss Son” She repeats, and this time Zoey can hear her voice clearly and it’s not an unfamiliar voice. She’s heard it maybe once or twice in her entire stay at their company.

 

Zoey closes her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath, before she opens her eyes and turns around. A smile plastered on her painted lips. Her ears and eyes certainly hadn’t deceived her. “Miss Jeong” She says, her lips curled up.

 

“You’re still here” The pink-haired woman points out, stopping just a foot away from her employee.

 

“I had overtime” She sheepishly admits, watching Mira’s curious reaction to her response.

 

Her pink lips pressed together as she nods. “Your team leader?”

 

“Park Jinu” Zoey replies, her eyes widening as she realizes. “H-he did nothing. It was a long overdue thing, anyways” An awkward laugh leaving her lips.

 

The HR looks at her with an amused expression on her face; eyebrow raised and lips curled up into a half-smile. “Okay” She replies.

 

And for a brief few seconds, silence envelops them and that would’ve fine with Zoey had this been her deskmate. But it wasn’t. Instead, it was their HR standing in front of them as the tension thickened and she felt her throat slowly get parched.

 

“Do you have a ride?” Mira speaks up after those brief moments of silence.

 

“No, Miss” Zoey replies, and when Mira tilts her head slightly in curiosity, she adds, “I walk to my apartment”

 

“In this late of the evening?”

 

It’s only six. Zoey wants to say out loud, but she decides against and instead just smiles at Mira’s offer. “It’s alright. I don’t want to impose”

 

And Zoey was sure that whatever she had felt for the pink-haired woman in front of her was purely something born out of fear for her job—that she had only been scared of her whenever they’d cross paths or even lock eyes for even just a few seconds. But after hearing the words leave her mouth in response to her—Zoey felt something inside her stir; something she wasn’t quite sure what it was.

 

Mira’s voice deep and heavy as she said the next words. “Oh, but you’re not.” It’s sweet like honey but sharp like a blade cutting right through her. “Come, ride with me” Had the air shifted? Or had Mira always had a deep voice as she did just now?

 

Zoey snaps out of her trance as she just shakes her head softly. “It’s alright, Miss Jeong” She offers her a smile, but Mira is persistent.

 

“It’s night and I’d hate for something to happen to you”

 

And again, Zoey feels something in her stir. But she tries her best to think rationally for a moment—feelings and irrational thoughts set aside. This was only because she’s an employee under her. Zoey thinks, and she nods in response. She knows how persuasive their HR is, and she knows there’s no losing against her—not that Zoey minded really. “Okay” She replies, finally caving in to her boss.

 

Mira just walks in front of her, gesturing for her to come follow her. And Zoey trails behind in response, heels clacking in response as she hurriedly follows Mira to the parking lot.

 

They make their way to the only car left in the parking with Mira in the driver seat and Zoey in the passenger seat, not that Mira’s car even had a backseat to begin with. It felt somehow intimate and professional at the same time having to ride in Mira’s sports car, feeling her hand on the gear shift be a couple millimeters away from grazing her knees.

 

But Zoey tries her best to focus on the road ahead. It was only a two-minute ride from the office to her apartment.

 

“Can you give me directions?”

 

The small space between them doing nothing but making Zoey feel hot and flustered, coupled with Mira’s deep and sultry voice—what was she thinking even? This was her boss. She subtly tries to take a deep breath as she nods. “Yeah” She breathes out in response.

 

They pull out of the parking lot driveway and into the highway just right outside their company’s lot. “It’s just a little past that barbeque store” She points out with her left hand. The store wasn’t that far off from their company, recalling the last time she had been there with Rumi as they ate mountains and mountains of food.

 

Mira does the mistake of leaning into her right, her cheek pressed slightly against Zoey’s bare arm as she tries to make out where the short girl had been pointing at. “Where?” She asks, her breath hitting Zoey’s arm, the hair on her arms rising in response.

 

“T-there” Zoey tries her best to continue holding her arm up as she points out at the next intersection.

 

“Mhm” Mira hums intelligently as she leans back into her seat. She turns on the signal blinker as she prepares to make a turn.

 

Zoey feels the weight on her shoulders drop as she slowly eases back into the seat, not even realizing when her shoulders had started to tense up.

 

“And then?”

 

“Just straight ahead” Zoey replies, refusing to look at her left, seeing how Mira glances at her through her peripheral vision.

 

And when they’re nearing the apartment building, Zoey mutters a ‘stop’. Mira steps on the brakes slowly until she comes to a full stop just a couple of feet away from her building. “Thank you, Miss Jeong” Zoey does her best to bow in the front seat of her sports car before leaving the car.

 

She waits until by the foot of the building, watching as Mira pulls out of the driveway and leaves. The short girl heaves out a resigned sigh before she hurriedly makes her way up the building.

 

Once inside her flat, Zoey leaves her sandals by the shoe rack before hurriedly making her way to her bedroom. She zooms around her room, prepping the lights and her bed, ensuring that everything was set for tonight’s stream. It was an exhausting act to put up, having to go out of her way to prepare everything so she can put up an act in front of a couple thousands of viewers. But that’s what brought Zoey joy, having to perform in front of all of them with the sense of anonymity that her mask had brought her.

 

She heats up a leftover from last night’s take out before she goes back inside her bedroom and gets changed into something skimpy for the stream she’s about to host in a couple of minutes. It was something she had desperately needed after today’s events. She needed to unwind and relax, and what better way to do it in front of a couple thirsty fans that’d be willing to pay her for stuff she would’ve done in private—it was a win/win for Zoey.

 

She takes the leftovers out of the microwave, chowing down on it as she heads back into her bedroom. She sets her laptop just right by her bed so she could read on the comments, it was something she loved doing every time she started to stream. She always found it fun and exciting seeing how her fans had thirsted for her. Their reactions always had elicited something inside her and it always made her streams all the more fun as she watched them send donations just for her to be able to read their comment.

 

She sets the rest of the take out by her desk before positioning herself by the edge of her bed. She opens her laptop, typing into the browser the same website she’s frequented over the past year before she leans back in her bed. She leans back on the bed as she pulls out the mask she dons on every time, before pulling it over her head.  Once the mask is on, Zoey kneels over the edge of her bed as she leans forward, pressing a button on her laptop before leaning back.

 

The familiar flashing of the countdown begins in front of her and Zoey smiles underneath the mask. It gave her a temporary sense of fulfillment as she watched the stream slowly start in front of her eyes.

 

Hands at the side of her body as she stays kneeling by the edge of her bed. Before she knew it, the countdown had hit zero and the stream was now live as she saw the blinking red light from her camera that sat right across from her.

 

Hundreds of comments started pouring in an instant, praising her and telling her how much they loved her. It wasn’t in Zoey’s nature to be narcissistic, really. She just found something about putting on a persona you’ve carefully crafted for the crowd to see, fun. It was like putting on an act as an idol, but with a thinly veiled sense of anonymity the mask had brought her. She knew it was until a matter of time until someone would figure her out, but she hadn’t really thought about it until this fateful night.

 

“Missed me, berries?”

 

Just three words and the donations and comments come pouring in again in an instant, covering one another with the speed of the comments. Practiced fingers moved at a choreographed pace, tracing over the strings of her light green bikini.

 

“I missed you too, berries” Zoey breathes out. Hands cupping her breast, giving them a gentle squeeze as she lefts out a satisfied noise.

 

Her eyes dart to the comments which were, once again, praising her and telling her the multitude of things they would’ve done if given the chance. Her right hand moving at a pace so agonizingly slow as she traces down her abs, just stopping right above her bikini.

 

subrosa97: God you’re so fucking hot
user23782: the things I’d do to you

j_j_jjajeongmyeon sent ₩370,000
a little treat

 

Zoey lets out a chuckle that gets covered almost instantly by soft, small mewls as her finger traces over her heat. She leans back as her free hand massages over her breast, her finger tracing over where she needs it most. A little treat? Zoey’s eyes closed in pleasure as the donation runs through her mind.

 

That was certainly anything but a little treat. But Zoey tries to keep her persona up as she bites back on her tongue. “Thank you, my berry” She winks as she giggles. It’s a username she’s managed to see rarely on her streams but even then despite seeing it four times at the most, it’s left a lasting mark on her memory as she gets bombarded with hundreds of won every donation.

 

j_j_jjajeongmyeon sent ₩770,000
let me know if you need more.

 

Zoey’s eyes widen for a brief moment, caught off-guard by the sudden massive donation dropped in an instant. Admittedly, it was the most she’s received off one donation—hell, it was even enough alone to pay her rent alone for this month. But Zoey reminds herself of the bright red blinking light staring at her from the camera across her. Her composure almost faltering and slipping off the persona she’s careful crafted, but she pulls herself together.

 

Her fingers moving down with precision as they hold the edges of her bikini. “I will” She replies, winking. She loops them over her bikini, dragging them down at an agonizingly slow pace as she teases the crowd.

 

Then she pulls it back up and she watches as the comments pour again in an instant, asking her—begging her even—to take it off.

 

“This?” Zoey asks innocently, hand cupping her breast, giving it a light squeeze. “Or…” She trails off as her free hand trails down her abs again. “This—”

 

A donation flashes right before her and she feels the color drain out of her face.

 

golden_huntrx sent ₩25,000
I know who you are

 

She blinks. The words burning into her skull as she stops in her movements; fingers that stopped just right above her chest, knees on the soft mattress, and lips pressed into a thin line behind the mask. Her composure and demeanor shifting in an instant as the words burn into her skull. Her eye twitches slightly as the donation stays on the screen for a couple of seconds before it gets covered up in an instant. Her loyal fans spam the comment section in an instant, saying how it’s a troll and how they would never out her like that.

 

And for a brief moment, Zoey manages to compose herself as she carries on with her show. Her fingers move up to her nape, gripping onto the ends of the strings of her bikini.

 

Then her peace becomes short-lived as another donation gets sent that made Zoey’s blood run cold. The previous one felt like an empty threat—something that anyone could throw out in an instant but behind the comment, it’s nothing but a pure bluff that’s just made to throw you off your guard.

 

But seeing the next donation flash before her screen, Zoey felt a chill run through her spine. All the thrill she felt streaming just rushing through the first window out.

 

golden_huntrx sent ₩25,000
Zoey

 

It read as it stayed on the screen for a couple of seconds as Zoey’s fingers remained on the edges of her strings. Zoey’s eye twitch behind the mask she dons on because she was sure of it no one else would discover about the life she lived outside of work. But she does her best to keep a straight face and cool demeanor.

 

Her head tilts slightly to the side in amusement. “What an odd assumption” She giggles, despite every bone in her body telling her to do the opposite—to ruin whoever had sent the comment and destroyed her peace. “My berries, I’m sorry about this person”

 

The comments flood through her screen, telling her that she shouldn’t apologize or how the person should apologize. But undeniably, there were some that had grown curious and the donation left her fans divided with their reactions. Most of them staying by Zoey’s side, showering her with affection. But a handful of them having to side with the donator, telling her how her reveal was a something long-overdue at this rate.

 

But the fans, along with Zoey, are shut almost instantly when another donation pours in and the text of her name on the screen gets replaced in an instant.

 

j_j_jjajeongmyeon sent ₩1,120,000
ignore them.

 

Zoey feels herself choke with the donation, her eyes almost bulging out of their sockets as she sees the amount that’s poured into her wallet so effortlessly. At this rate, Zoey could pay off her rent for two months so effortlessly.

 

j_j_jjajeongmyeon sent ₩820,000
end the stream and rest

 

Zoey feels baffled. She’s seen this familiar username just a handful of times from the start of her streaming career, and they’ve been stretched out thinly in that one year, having only seen it four times. And surprisingly tonight, she’s managed to take out four separate donations off of the user. Intimidation seeps into Zoey as she feels the sudden urge to follow fill her.

 

Not wanting to disappoint her sudden new top donator, she makes up an excuse to her fans—a flimsy excuse at that, but her fans just take it at face value. After all, they’ve seen the line of message that came from the last donation.

 

She leans in to turn off the camera, waving at her fans before the red light on top stops blinking. Zoey throws off the mask in an instant as she leans back and lets herself fall onto her mattress. Soft whines come out of her mouth followed by loud grunts as she rolls over in her bed. Confused and angry groans leaving her lips. “Fuck!” Her eyes shut tightly as the donation revealing her name flashes right before her eyes again. It’s the one thing she had hoped and prayed she’d never get to see, not until today.