Chapter Text
Phil
Dan was even more beautiful in person. Phil couldn’t believe they’d waited so long to meet when it was suddenly so obvious how compatible they were. As awkward as their initial meeting at the train station had been, Dan didn’t seem bothered by Phil’s annoying tendencies to claw and bite him (gently) when he got nervous. Those deep brown eyes saw right through Phil, and he hadn’t yet decided if that was good or bad.
Mostly, though, it felt good.
After an uncomfortably long silence when they’d left the station, trying to decide where to go, Dan reminded Phil that he promised he would shout them both Starbucks.
“You know, I’m ninety-percent sure you made this up,” Phil said when they’d joined the line. “But I want coffee so I won’t object.”
“I did no such thing!” Dan scoffed in mock offense. “By the way, I’ll have a–”
“Caramel macchiato,” he interrupted, “I know.”
Dan looked at him, almost stunned.
“Sorry,” Phil said quickly, “Was that weird that I remembered?”
“No! No, not at all,” Dan rushed, “I just… I wasn't expecting it, I guess.”
“Oh,” he looked down at his feet. “Um, is it okay that I remembered?”
“No, Phil, it’s the worst thing in the whole entire world that you remembered my Starbucks order.”
“Okay, okay - point taken.”
“Shall I find us somewhere to sit while you order?”
“Sure.” Phil smiled and watched Dan as he looked around, eyes landing on a sofa tucked into one corner of the shop, and shuffled his way over. He didn’t realise the barista was waiting for him until she coughed loudly enough to snap him out of his trance.
“Hi! Erm, sorry,” he said apologetically, “Two caramel macchiatos, please.”
Phil paid for their drinks and walked over to where Dan had settled, keeping an ear out for his name. Dan was typing quickly on his phone, but stopped once Phil nudged his foot.
“Oi,” Dan joked, gesturing to his phone, “Very important business going on here!”
“Oh I do apologise,” Phil said sarcastically.
“Kidding, just texting my mum so she knows you didn’t murder me yet.”
Neither boy said anything for a long moment. Dan raised his gaze up to meet Phil’s shocked and confused expression, then they both burst out laughing, earning them a few concerned looks from the people around them. They didn’t care; they were happy.
“Yet?” Phil said after he stopped laughing.
“Well, you never know,” Dan shrugged. “Maybe you’re going to take me back to your place and tie me up in your basement.”
“Dan,” Phil teased. “You know I wouldn’t do that.”
“I bloody hope not!” Dan replied. “Although…”
“Although?”
“Never mind, it’s too weird.”
“Are you kidding? Have you met me?”
“Yes,” Dan deadpanned.
“Okay, fair, but seriously,” Phil bumped Dan’s knee with his. “You could never be too weird for me.”
“Promise?”
“Pinky promise.”
They linked pinky fingers and Phil squeezed as best as he could.
“Fine,” Dan paused for a moment before continuing quietly, “I was going to say, if you were going to tie me up somewhere I’d rather it be in the bedroom.”
Before Phil could process Dan’s words and respond, he heard the barista call his name impatiently. He rushed over to grab their drinks and get back to Dan, but by the time he got back the topic was too far away to reach without opening a door Phil wasn’t sure they’d be able to close.
Then again, did he really want to, if it meant being closer to Dan?
—
As the day progressed, Phil couldn’t stop sneaking looks at Dan - no matter what he was doing. He could be waiting to cross the street or watching the pigeons in the park or, when he was lucky, looking at Phil. His soft brown hair, tousled by the wind, and his desperation to fix it before Phil could see. As if it would bother him, anyway. He adored Dan, even more so now that they were right next to each other, close enough to touch and smell and admire - close enough for more, if Phil was daring enough.
But he resisted, too worried it would scare Dan away. Phil couldn’t lose him, not when he’d just really got him. His mind wandered, though, back to their conversation in Starbucks and their flirty texts before today. Did Dan feel the same way? Could he ever feel the same way? Phil hoped so, but was desperately trying - and miserably failing - to keep his expectations minimal.
“So,” Dan’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts. “Where to now?”
“I don’t know,” Phil shrugged. “Where do you want to go?”
“I want to see Manchester!” He exclaimed. “That is why I came all this way, after all.”
“Oh, so not to see me, then?” Phil mocked offense. “You just wanted to use me to see Manchester?”
“Shut up, Lester,” Dan poked him in the side. “You know I’d much rather look at you than a fucking city.”
Phil blushed a little at the nickname and tried to hide his smile.
“Okay, how about the Manchester Eye?” He tried getting the conversation back on track so Dan wouldn’t feel pressured to keep this seeming interest in Phil going. “You’ll get a pretty good view and it goes fairly slowly so plenty of time for me to annoy you!”
Phil tried to ignore the hint of disappointment he glimpsed in Dan’s face before he linked their arms together and grinned.
“Alright then,” Dan said, “Lead the way.”
—
The line to get into the Manchester Eye was surprisingly long, but Phil was determined to make sure Dan saw Manchester like he insisted he wanted to. Dan didn’t seem to mind the wait, poking Phil and making funny sounds to pass the time. Phil reciprocated, of course, with his own nervous energy. When they finally got into a pod, Dan ran straight over to the very edge and pressed his face up against the glass. Having been around the Eye a few times before, Phil sat down on the bench and took a moment to admire Dan in the harsh light of the pod. He’d been watching Dan inspect Manchester as they had walked around, but nothing quite matched up to the sheer wonder and joy that lit up his face right now. Phil couldn’t help but smile, and when Dan turned around to look at him, he got butterflies in his stomach. He couldn’t quite explain it, but this moment felt different. The way Dan was looking at him felt different.
“Hi,” Phil said softly, a smile still plastered on his face.
“Hi,” Dan giggled in response, “Come here.”
Phil obliged - as if he could ever object to something Dan asked of him - and moved so he was standing next to Dan, looking out over the bustling landscape. They both stood in comfortable silence for a minute, until Dan turned to him.
“Phil, can I ask you something?”
“Of course, what’s up?”
Dan took a slow breath in and exhaled while he spoke.
“Why me?”
Phil was taken aback.
“What do you mean?”
“Like, you reposted a bunch of videos from that show,” Dan avoided Phil’s eyes. “Why did you only message me?”
“I mean…” Phil searched for the right words. “You messaged us first, I guess? You apologised for screaming in the video and I replied.”
“Yeah but after that, why did you follow me? Why did you keep talking to me?”
“Oh, well, I guess you just seemed interesting? I don’t know what it was, but I clicked on your profile and thought you looked cute and we seemed to have some mutual interests so–”
“Hang on, rewind,” Dan turned towards him. “Did you say you thought I was cute?”
Shit.
“I… Well, yes, but–”
“No take backs!” Dan laughed mischievously. “You think I’m cute!”
“Daaaan,” Phil whined.
“Phiiiiil,” Dan teased, grinning from ear to ear and not breaking eye contact for a second.
They stayed like that for a moment - just staring at each other, eyes grazing over features previously unseen through their webcams. From this close, Phil could see Dan’s eyes reflecting the lights of Manchester City. As much as he tried to brush the feeling aside, he couldn’t ignore the shine that lingered when the pod had moved and the reflection was long gone.
“Do you really think I’m cute?” Dan asked, voice barely above a whisper.
Heart racing, Phil inhaled deeply and reached his hand out to hold Dan’s.
“I think you’re beautiful, Dan,” he said earnestly. “Is… Is that okay?”
Dan didn’t say anything, but his smile grew impossibly wider. Phil held his breath and waited, blue eyes fixed on brown, for something - anything - that would give him a sign of how the other boy felt. Time seemed to slow as Dan interlocked their fingers and tightened his grip on Phil’s hand. With a trembling exhale, he leaned closer to Phil, not breaking eye contact until their noses were nearly touching. Dan closed his eyes and gently pressed his lips to Phil’s. He could taste the hesitation and the fear, but as Phil let his eyes close and his mouth move against Dan’s, it all melted away.
Phil wrapped his free hand around Dan’s waist, pulling him closer and deepening their kiss. He felt Dan smile against his lips and pulled away, not daring to open his eyes as his anxiety sunk in. Did Dan regret it? Did he just do that because he thought it’s what Phil wanted? What if he kissed Phil just to see what it felt like and now Dan’s realised he hates him? What if–
“Of course it’s okay, you spork,” Dan interrupted his anxious mind rambling. He bit his bottom lip and asked, “Is that okay?”
“Is what okay?” Phil asked, voice breathy in disbelief.
“You know, that I kissed you?”
Coming back down to earth, Phil raised his eyebrows.
“Of course it’s okay, you spork,” he teased, pressing a gentle kiss to Dan’s forehead.
“Yeah but,” he let go of Phil's hand and fidgeted with the ends of his sleeves. “Is it okay that I… That I want to do it again? And again? And lots more after that?”
“Of course it’s okay, you spork,” Phil repeated. “I want that, too. Is that okay?”
“Of course it’s okay, you spork,” Dan repeated back, a teasing tone in his voice and smile returning to his face. Phil laughed and pulled Dan into a hug, kissing the top of his head.
“Why are we like this?” he felt the rumble of Dan’s voice against his neck and chuckled.
“I don’t know,” Phil replied, pulling away. “But I have a feeling we’re about to get a lot better.”
Dan wrapped an arm around Phil’s waist, pulling him closer as they stared out at the Manchester City lights. Phil returned the gesture, squeezing gently and looking into Dan’s eyes as he glanced up at him. They smiled at each other, and when Phil leaned in for a kiss and Dan happily obliged, he swore he felt physically lighter.
“I like you, Dan Howell,” Phil admitted. “A lot.”
“Yeah, no shit,” Dan joked. “I like you too, Phil Lester.”
“A lot?”
“More than a lot.”