Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Gi-hun questioned what the hell he was doing as soon as he entered the apartment. His palms felt sweaty, his heart hammering in his chest. Call it impulse or stupidity, but he slipped off his shoes as he pushed through the front door, then held them in one hand while he stepped quietly through the entrance hallway.

What he entered into wasn’t what he expected. Daylight snuck through the dark blinds covering the windows. The furniture around the room was in dark browns and black, the floor a rich, dark wood. There was a record player and some bookshelves— each with more books than Gi-hun would know what to do with— and a very prominent looking armchair set up right beside the biggest case.

The space smelled good, like incense or a mild cologne. Sandalwood? Maybe… cloves? He couldn’t put his finger on it. 

It felt like being enveloped in something that was meant to put you to sleep if you dared linger too long.

“Wow,” Gi-hun murmured to himself as his stare continued to take it all in. “Living big, huh?”

Gi-hun noticed a cabinet full of what looked like a collection of whiskey, and glasses set up in a neat line on the shelf above it. All very lavish and expensive. Gi-hun, for some reason, didn’t expect elegance from a man he’d witnessed scrubbing blood off his hands to his forearms in a dingy park bathroom.

As his socked feet padded from wood onto a large rug, he leaned in to peer at a framed photo. 

Huh, would you look at that. It was the man he’d witnessed being dragged, screaming and biting at the man’s arms like a terrified animal, through the parking garage by Mr. Serene. 

In this photo, he was calm and smiling beside him. Up close like this, Gi-hun swore he could see some family resemblance. Was it his son? A brother or nephew? So had it been nothing to worry about after all, just a mentally unwell relative? The thought that it was family and not a stranger somehow made his muscles relax the slightest amount, against his better judgment. 

He suddenly and impulsively dropped into the armchair by the bookshelves, limbs sinking into it, head tilting back against the well-treated leather. Hell, did it feel good to lay back. How long had it been since he’d gotten a good night’s sleep? He spent so many nights keeping an eye on Mr. Serene, he barely fit any in these days. 

He couldn’t help but wonder how often he sat here. What book had he last touched? What did he think about? Did he drink, and doze off? Did the man unwind here, press his hands into the chair arms, tilt his head back and rest just like Gi-hun was doing now?

Gi-hun didn’t realize how his own hands had spread out against the chair, palms and fingers sliding down the smooth material until they reached the arm’s edges and gripped. Fuck, it was comfortable, and that warm undercurrent of incense was stronger here. 

Had the man ever sunk back like this, spread his legs and…?

An invasive image shot through his mind, something vivid, crude and unwanted about another man, and it was an immediate shock to his system. He gasped and sat up. Had he been falling asleep? What the hell was that? There was no way he could be that lonely… could he?

Gi-hun grimaced as he pushed himself out of the chair, tempted to leave the apartment then and there, but curiosity impelled him to keep going, that he’d already made so much effort and come this far. 

A faint growl in his stomach made the kitchen his next stop. He hadn’t been eating much lately, though he didn’t have the money to buy food as often as he’d like. He lived on the hope his eomma had made dinner for two most nights. 

Still, dinner or not, it would be awhile until then. He found himself pulling open the fridge and peering inside, making himself at home. 

Was that… chocolate milk?

A neat row of cartons sat on the top shelf, and Gi-hun couldn’t help himself. Mr. Serene was unlikely to miss one, right? He pinched open the carton, gulping down its contents as he flipped through other cabinets. 

As a last, passing thought, he flipped open the freezer to see neat stacks of leftovers stored throughout. He picked up and turned over one of maybe a dozen containers of rice. A meal prepper, huh? 

He couldn’t possibly miss one of these, either. Gi-hun ended up slipping it into the nearby microwave, reheating the rice as he’d often done in the past, back when he still worked and dealt with leftovers Eun-ji left for him in the fridge whenever he got home late. 

The appliance beeped and he was quick to dig into the warm rice with a bare hand. Ah, it hit the spot. 

He didn’t want to clatter his way through drawers for silverware, let alone do dishes or make a mess of things more than he had to, so he kept spooning fingerfuls into his mouth before finally realizing he still had an empty container to contend with. 

Aissi, why don’t you think?

Gi-hun ended up running the dish under some soap and water before searching for wherever the hell the man kept these rice containers. It took five minutes of opening and crouching, but he finally settled on shoving it far behind another stack of a similar variety, even if a different size. 

After a certain point, who ever went into the back of their cupboards?

Gi-hun wiped his hands of it, literally pressing damp hands against the fabric of his jeans as he stepped past the kitchen and down another short hallway that led to the bathroom and what looked to be some bedrooms. 

One appeared to be a spare guest room, the other more obviously his. 

Gi-hun hesitated, glancing toward the open bathroom again. He pulled his jacket up to his nose, taking a whiff. Cigarettes, as usual. He could picture it now— Ga-yeong giving him that disapproving but adorable stink-eye. If only she hadn’t been taken away to the states, custody stripped away from him. He suddenly shook his head, clearing it of the invasive thought.

 Would Mr. Serene mind if I used his shower? 

There wasn’t a lot to glean from the man’s typical, distant expression. But there’d been one instance, when he’d at the very least seemed satisfied after a homeless person readily took the meal offered to them. 

Gi-hun had to admit he wasn’t certain at first, when the individual had wandered past the man’s cafe table, where Mr. Serene had been enjoying what looked like a salad and half a sandwich. 

He was given a lingering, hungry look, which Mr. Serene caught as he glanced up. His eyes were dark and unreadable… was he figuring something out? Debating if he wanted to give up food he was looking forward to? Wondering if the individual might attack, and considering the knife that sat innocuously to the right of his plate? 

Gi-hun had been lounging against an alley wall across the street, cap tipped down as he watched Mr. Serene finally say a couple of words, then offer out his plate. When the other took it, the man’s eyes seemed to soften the slightest amount, though there was no smile on his face.

That was the first instance that threw Gi-hun’s thoughts off-balance, a stark contrast to the memory in the public park restroom. The one with that unflappable expression and so much blood— too much to be normal— swirling down the sink drain. 

That was the moment where “next time I gotta interfere” became “what if none of this is what it looks like?”

Gi-hun hadn’t done anything then, just stepped away from the urinal, washed his hands at the opposite end, and walked out with a polite, passing nod he wasn’t even sure the man had noticed. Granted, the second he’d seen the blood, it threw him into a dark place, a memory that he preferred to never drudge up again. 

Gi-hun was already in the middle of the bathroom, stripping off his clothes as he fiddled with the knobs of the shower. It took one or two twists before he figured it out, water falling out of a flat, rounded shower head that looked more like rain than the hard, uneven jet he was used to at eomma’s.

Once butt-naked, he stepped in without a second thought, letting the glass door click shut behind him. 

Smelled good in here, too, and he didn’t hesitate picking up the bottles from a shelved indent in the wall, smell testing each of them. Ah, no wonder. 

He squeezed some of the shampoo into his hand and started massaging it into his hair, the heat and indulgence dragging up a low, content sigh from what felt like the very core of him. 

It was so ridiculously roomy. Did Mr. Serene stretch in the shower? Did he drag a stool in here to sit and relax under the steam? Did the man plan for company? Or ever have company in here?

Gi-hun could almost picture it. Two bodies, skin dripping and flushed from the hot water, pressed together against the sleek shower wall, mouths breathing into each other as hands gripped, hips rolling—

Ssibal. Stop. 

Gi-hun blinked, blatantly ignoring his half erection, instead going for Mr. Serene’s body wash, lathering himself up by hand. 

As he washed, maybe he did let himself linger a little longer than he needed to when going south, a few nothing-but-chaste slips of hand making sure his inner thighs were just as clean. He let out a shuddering breath, shoving away from the wall to rinse off. 

That was long enough. He stepped out of the shower and onto the soft bathmat, dripping and now cold, realizing he hadn’t thought about a towel. 

A quick glance around and eyes fell on a black chenille bathrobe hanging on a hook. Gi-hun didn’t know that’s what it was, but he felt it as he shook his damp limbs into it, pulling it snugger around himself as soon as its quality hit him.

“This guy lives like a fucking king,” he murmured to himself, giving the bathroom a once-over— thinking enough to ensure he hadn’t left it a total mess— before scooping up his clothes on his way out. 

What the hell was he doing here, again? Just… checking, right? 

For what? Proof he’s not some kind of killer? He ignored the thoughts.

Gi-hun felt muscles tense beneath the borrowed robe as he approached the man’s bedroom again, fingers skating idly over the doorknob as he walked through. 

The man had a queen bed adorned in very soft-looking, black sheets and complementary blankets. There were more books in here, one with a bookmark on the end table beside the bed. Gi-hun realized then that the man didn’t even own a television. 

The answer to the smell of incense sat on top of a large, dark wooden dresser, in the form of a serene, nature-themed incense burner. It looked like the smoke was meant to flow down what was now an empty curl of river, into a decorative bowl at the bottom.

Gi-hun was already touching it before he could think, his pile of dirty clothes temporarily dropped to the floor. Could he get away with burning one now? He had at least a couple of hours, right? 

Gi-hun found an incense cone right away, in a ceramic jar just beside it, but a lighter was another story. He instantly started searching the drawers beneath it. 

It was nothing but clothes and more clothes, which he again, began digging through before he could think.

It was only after he found himself with a handful of silky soft boxer briefs that he suddenly realized what he was doing. “Ah, aissi!” he muttered, frustrated as he rubbed an agitated hand against his neck, his other trying to set them back in as neatly as they’d likely been before. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck. What would this look like? He wasn’t here for this. 

It was at that exact moment he realized he’d had his own fucking lighter in his pocket all along. He scoffed at himself, digging it out of the pants now crumpled at his feet as soon as he shut the underwear drawer. 

He placed the cone near the top of the burner he’d guess was the right spot, then lit it. Once the tip began to glow, he blew it out. 

Like expected, smoke began to gently pour out, making a misty waterfall of the once empty grooves. It smelled like it had when he first walked in. No wonder it felt so easy to nod off in here, the air now lighter, warmer. 

Gi-hun wandered over to the bed, leaning over just enough to slide his fingertips over the top of the blanket. Mr. Serene must sleep like a baby. 

He wanted to flop down into it, see how comfortable it really was. 

Fuck it. I still have time. 

So he did. He turned his back to the bed and fell back onto it like a rag doll, instantly greeted with a plush softness and blankets that felt like water against his exposed skin. What the hell did this guy do to be able to afford things like this, or was this the kind of stuff he saved up for? 

How did a man who appeared so cold, so sharp around the edges, enjoy this kind of softness? Is it because nothing else could properly hold up against his jagged insides? 

Gi-hun sighed, loudly, into the room, body wiggling around in the luxury of it all until he found himself face down against it, robe that’d already been loose now open, arms already reaching for a pillow. His head buried itself, another breathy sigh bordering on a groan escaping him as he indulged in the rare comfort. 

Aissi, and why did it smell so fucking good?

His hips gently lifted of their own volition, pressing in more snug on their way down. Settling in more, that was all. 

He’d gotten so settled, in the end, that it wasn’t until he heard the faint clinking of metal against marble that his eyes suddenly snapped open. Wait, what—

He blinked, coming to, too-slowly processing the fact it was no longer daylight slipping through the thin gaps of the blinds to naturally light up the room, but nothing. It was completely dark. Not only that, but he definitely heard footsteps. Not in the hallway, not yet. The kitchen, maybe? 

Oh, fuck.

He felt moisture against his lips, and realized he’d drooled into the pillow. Drooled into the goddamn pillow. 

With swiftly compounding panic, he pushed himself up from the bed with as much quiet as he could realistically muster, kneeling there on the soft bed with legs folded beneath him, pitch blackness surrounding him as he strained his ears and carefully placed the pillow back where he thought it’d been before— turned around to the side without the drool. 

Aissi, it better not stain. That, or if Mr. Serene could be a drooler himself, that’d make the innocent mistake that much easier to hide. 

He craned a leg carefully over the bed, placing it silently down onto the floor before pulling the rest of his body out of the bed. Somehow, he had the wherewithal to smooth down the blankets, palms that were now sweaty and trembling skating across the smooth fabric until it felt acceptable enough in the dark to pass as undisturbed. 

Still no movement in the hall. The bedroom door was still wide open. 

Shit, where were his shoes? His heart jolted in his chest. He squinted through the dark, trying to somehow adjust his eyes ten times faster. As he waved arms carefully in front of him, he shuffled himself across wood, going toward what he hoped was the dresser, hoping his foot bumped into shoes on his way toward the pile of clothes he did remember. 

Wait, did the incense fully burn away? Had there been ash in the fixture before he’d lit it himself? 

Aissi. There was no attempting that kind of cleanup in the dark, no matter what the answer was. 

Still no shoes. 

He thought he heard the fridge open and close. 

He was starting to really feel it now, on the verge of hyperventilating but biting his lower lip to keep any impromptu noise from falling out. 

What the hell was he supposed to do now? Get on his hands and knees to search for his shoes that way? Try to crawl to the guest bedroom to hide until who knew when? Pray to some God he’s never prayed to before, but might be paying attention to him now? 

He didn’t get any more time to think, because suddenly footsteps were making their way down the hall. There was something off about them, but Gi-hun couldn’t tell what. And didn’t give himself time to wonder, either, as his heart pounded and a cold sweat took over, crouching down to clumsily snatch up all his clothes. 

His fucking shoes. Ssibal, had he left them by the armchair? It was too late now. Hopefully the man hadn’t—

Footsteps were closer now. There couldn’t be more than five more seconds before the man could turn, entering the bedroom. 

There was no under to the bed. No time to sneak across the hallway to the guest bedroom now. He was fucked, wasn’t he? This was it. 

Closet. I swear I saw a closet. Go… GO, you idiot! 

He hurried with bare feet to the other wall, again as quietly as he could muster, feeling for the grooves of a sliding door along the way. 

No more than a footstep away now. 

Fingers shook against the wall. Gi-hun couldn’t help but squeeze his eyes shut in anticipation of the light being turned on to reveal him trembling ass-naked in the man’s own damn bathrobe, pressed against the wall as if it could swallow him whole. 

He took one last ditch step, fingers reaching, searching for anything that might save him from this, the man bound to be reaching for the light switch now himself…

There was suddenly silence, footsteps pausing, and Gi-hun felt himself holding his breath, continuing to slide slow and silently over. Was there a fucking closet or not??? his brain screamed at him. 

What was the man doing? What was he doing? 

Then, just as his fingers finally felt the wall give way to a door, a sneeze echoed in the hallway, Gi-hun’s heart jolting on instinct as he eased the door open, practically threw himself inside, and managed to quietly slide it shut again— as if his hands weren’t itching to break the entire thing, every tense inch of him ready to snap.

The light turned on a second later.

Mr. Serene stood there, hand on the doorframe, leaning his weight into it as if partially using it to keep himself balanced. 

Gi-hun took a step or two back in his hiding place, surrounded by what felt like dress shirts on hangers, eyes wide and hand slapped against his mouth, his attempt at muffling the sound of his quick breathing. 

While not the most open view, he could still see through the slats in the closet door, so when the man stepped forward with a very controlled sway, Gi-hun tensed as if his attention was glued on a horror film— maybe this was one, now that his mind was on it. 

As the other man went straight for his bed, articles of clothing dropping to the floor along the way, it became fairly clear that Mr. Serene was some degree of drunk. 

It was something Gi-hun wasn’t as surprised about. 

While it was an odd sight for the usually cool, composed man he’d witnessed most of the time, the main reason he’d known he had time tonight was because he saw the man disappear into a bar earlier. 

Gi-hun had watched him go into bars before, and Mr. Serene was a two to three hour kind of man. Not that he’d been keeping track, or was ever inside the establishment as well, or sitting anywhere where he was able to shift a leg and lean sideways just enough to catch a casual glimpse of the man who always sat at the bar, three stools away from the front door. 

By the time the man reached his bed, he was shirtless, slacks already unbuttoned. Gi-hun swallowed, eyes no less wide then when the lights had suddenly illuminated the room in dim light, the apartment not yet escaping its sleepy atmosphere. Despite himself, Gi-hun felt his muscles loosen the barest amount.

Mr. Serene seemed to be sitting silently on the edge of his bed now, head slightly tilted, body unmoving aside from the miniscule, unsteady sway of inebriation one would have to keep staring at to catch. Since Gi-hun only had a view of his side profile, still squinting through thin slats, he couldn’t get a read on his face.

Gi-hun tried not to move, afraid his body would somehow betray him if he tried. 

Then, the man fell back, shimmying his way out of his slacks next. Was this how someone so aloof got ready for bed? Where were his pajamas, or was this it? Aissi, he better not need anything from the closet.

What the man ended up left in was socks and a pair of those boxer briefs Gi-hun remembered, with a hot flush of shame he knew he had no reason to feel, having his rummaging hands all over earlier. The flush didn’t cease, either, when the panic shifted into an uneasy discomfort, realizing a man he had kept at a curious but respectable distance was now undressing only feet away from his impulsive trespassing.

I shouldn’t be here. What the fuck was I thinking? This isn’t what it looks like.

Wrapped in his sudden, uncomfortable tangle of thoughts, he barely registered the way the man’s hand had slipped beneath the waistband of his underwear.

The panic was resurfacing. I know better. I know better than to do shit like this. Gi-hun felt his heart rate quickening, the heat of his breath starting to moisten the skin of the palm still held over his mouth.

A faint groan sounded from the bed and it took a hard, refocusing blink before Gi-hun registered that he was staring wide-eyed at Mr. Serene now very visibly touching himself. His hand had pulled himself out from beneath his form-fitting underwear, slowly working what looked like an already half-hard erection. Barely more than a gentle palming and a leisurely drag of fingers. Wait, what—

Gi-hun stepped back as if he could somehow escape the situation, but froze the second one of the dress shirts brushed against him, the whisper of a touch nearly causing his soul to leave his body. 

Mr. Serene let out another quiet, breathy noise and Gi-hun felt the temperature in the closet rise. He almost let out an automatic noise of objection— some helpless, mortified exclamation that was right there, prepped in his throat. It took all of him to clench his teeth against it, fingers digging hard into his cheeks.

The man— the man, the man, Gi-hun’s mind kept scandalously reminding him— wasn’t being quick or efficient about getting off, either. Was this some kind of pre-bedtime routine of his? Something he did when he was drunk? A once in a blue moon night that Gi-hun was conveniently present for? 

For a reason he didn’t want to touch, he didn’t think to close his damn eyes to the lewd sight. Mr. Serene kept going— of course he kept going. What man cut himself off mid-stroke? The man was fully hard at this point, fingers working himself with surprising gentleness, fingers squeezing tighter on his upward tug.

Now that he’d fallen back onto the bed, Gi-hun could see his face and the way the man’s lips were barely parted, enough to carefully breathe his way through the pleasure. His toned middle rose and fell, almost hypnotic, stuttering the slightest amount whenever he gripped himself a little firmer.

He should have shut his eyes by now, but the unintentional intimacy of what was taking place had its grip on him, unable to get past the gnawing curiosity, this need to understand why he couldn’t stop thinking about a man he didn’t even have a real name to give. 

Gi-hun felt his breathing pick up, his body unconsciously leaning closer to the slats of the closet door as the man mixed up his technique, fingers now holding the head of his cock, thumb swirling its tip, now clearly slick with precum. Mr. Serene was breathing heavier, hips pressing up and into his busy thumb. Ah… he must really enjoy pressure around the tip…

He needed to understand how this stranger managed to unlock this terrible, aching part of him that was starved for touch, the part that found itself barreling through strictly set boundaries in order to feel.

Mmh… the tip, that makes sense… Gi-hun idly thought, mindless as sound judgment crept silently away, overridden by the warmth that pooled below him, hand already fallen from his mouth to follow it.

It was a blur, once his hand wrapped around himself, not realizing the way he used the robe hanging off his naked shoulders as friction between his hand and his stiff cock, swiftly revived since the accidental thought in the shower. 

Another accident, that was all this was, as he quietly set down his clothes at his feet, free hand steadying itself against the closet wall as he kept peering eyes on Mr. Serene’s face. 

The man was finally quickening his pace, thrusting into his squeezing fist, other hand gripping the blankets Gi-hun had been laying on top of not long before. He was breathless, but barely made another sound, eyes squeezed shut like his intent was to resist too loud a display of pleasure.

Gi-hun was barely thinking now, the only one in his head now a mindless: How good does he feel?

It took every ounce of willpower to resist his natural urge to make noise, mind somehow leaving sense enough for that as he thrust into his own eager hand, matching pace with the other man, mouth open to release silent, broken huffs of air into the dark. 

It happened all at once, the man on the bed suddenly rolling onto his side, partway facing the closet as he fisted the blanket, burying his face alongside it. Oh–Oh fuck, can he tell I was in his bed? Smell me? A soft, hitching moan was torn from Mr. Serene as he jerked, cumming all over his fingers.

Gi-hun finally squeezed his eyes shut, cutting the man off from his line of sight as he curled in, unable to stop himself from imagining the same fingers wrapped around him, forcing him to follow.

Chapter Text

It was thirty minutes, maybe forty, before he risked sneaking out of the closet. He’d slipped himself back into the clothes he’d come here in, thoughtlessly discarding the robe in the corner of the closet, thinking it would be nothing but a questioning thought for the other man of where he could’ve possibly left it.

He’d squinted through the slats every few minutes, staving off some unplanned sleepiness by pinching himself whenever he felt eyelids slipping down, head lolling against the closet wall.

Mr. Serene looked to have already passed out himself, shortly after working himself back into his underwear and doing a quick clean-up. Even when drunk, the man managed to stay neat; no wonder this apartment appeared so well-maintained. 

Not long after, Mr. Serene collapsed on one side of his bed, facing the wall with his eyes closed until Gi-hun heard the man begin to lightly snore. To be extra sure the man was deep in it, Gi-hun gave it some more time— nothing at all to do with him almost nodding off himself— before he snuck himself through the closet door he very slowly and silently cracked open.

Unfortunately, somewhere between the bed and the bedroom door was when his sanity suffered a strange, nonsensical lapse, tired eyes moving between the peacefully sleeping man in the bed and the clear and rational opening that was being handed to him.

He should’ve run. That was the sanest thing he could do right now. His body leaned that way, his feet pointed toward the door as he glanced back, hand braced on the doorframe. But his legs stopped as if his insides had been spilled and filled with concrete. 

His stomach twisted. One more minute couldn’t hurt, right? One or two more minutes near the man who clearly made his brain short out, in no way close to becoming the kind of person who snuck into another man’s house and stood here, watching him sleep. 

Only three more minutes to test how much closer he could get. He wouldn’t do anything. Just lie down and exist beside him. That wouldn’t make him a bad person, would it? Gi-hun stepped toward the bed, acting as if he weren’t betraying himself. 

Five minutes, then he swore he’d get out of here for real. 

He was already crouched near the edge of the bed, arms slipped on top of it, eyes on the man’s sleeping face, watching for any signs of life. Surely, the man was knocked out by the heavy combination of alcohol and, well… what’d he’d stumbled home and done. Gi-hun felt like it’d knock any man out.

He stayed there awhile, something mesmerizing about the way all the composed lines in the man’s face were now slack, his face almost deceptively innocent with his lips parted, quiet snores sneaking through. Gi-hun swore he could smell whiskey on his breath.

Mmm. And this horrible, comfortable bed doesn’t help. 

He was suddenly shaking his head and moving to stand again, trying to wake himself up so that he could leave in a few minutes. But the man wouldn’t mind a few of those minutes shared, would he? He looked warm and strangely inviting— the bed, he meant, looked warm and inviting. 

Before he realized he even had, he was sliding quietly, and so, so gently into the bed just behind Mr. Serene, still watching for the steady rise and fall of someone fast asleep. Well for the most part, he was, though the top of the man’s head was distracting as he tilted his head into it, breathing in the scent he felt he’d been indulging in ever since walking into this apartment.

It felt so good to have someone close again, to feel warm skin under his fingers, so much like what he remembered when he and Eun-ji used to be together, years ago now…. 

—------------------------

Gi-hun came to with a start, sucking in a gasping breath as his body’s natural instinct impelled him to sit up. It tried to sit up, anyway, but hit immediate resistance. “Huh, wha—?”

He suddenly remembered what he’d done, and how he must have ended up falling asleep. Oh, fuck. 

Dread settled in his gut just as he heard a calm, composed voice speak to the side of him. “Daring. Breaking and entering into someone’s private home.”

Gi-hun immediately looked over, eyes wide, to the sight of Mr. Serene sitting on the edge of the bed directly beside one of his very bare legs. He looked exactly as expected: unsettlingly serene, despite the situation.

He tried to jerk upright again, but helplessly fell back to the bed, realizing there was cool metal locked around his wrist, hooked to one of the corner bed posts. 

“Why did you do it?” the man asked, tone even as a hand lifted to rest against his leg… thumb rubbing idle circles into his calf, like it belonged there. 

Gi-hun’s heart pounded in his chest, the situation not altogether falling into place in his mind yet. He felt outside of himself, like he was still in a dream. A cold sweat creeped in, pulse thrumming so hard in his throat that words trembled out of him, “I don’t… I.. I…”

His eyes swept the room in a panic, as if there were a possibility he could squeeze out of the handcuffs and make a run for it. 

Ssibal. He was trapped on the man’s bed, and when he shifted he realized he was completely naked— in nothing but the robe again. But he’d taken that off and gotten dressed again, hadn’t he? W-Wait… 

“…What the hell’s going on?!” he suddenly exploded, purely impulsive, driven by a sudden jolt of fear. He pulled his leg out from under the man’s hand and yanked at the restraint again, acting as if he could really snap through the heavy, solid wood. 

Mr. Serene simply dropped his hand, watching him. 

His free hand swung over, free fingers shoving between skin and metal to look for a weak point he already sensed wouldn’t exist. “Y-You let me the fuck out of here!” 

He couldn’t handle the feeling of being trapped. Alarms were firing off in his brain, unable to calm down. He was naked, tied to a bed, in a stranger’s house. A man’s house, who could still be a killer. The jury was out, but Gi-hun didn’t want to stick around to find out. Not anymore.

This was a mistake. This was a huge mistake. He kept thrashing and shouting, muscles coiled tight. “Get these off of me and let me go, you sick bastard!” 

And thrashed some more. Until he ran out of steam and weakly shook, breathing heavy, unable to look at the man still sitting on the edge of the bed, watching him like he could’ve been a nervous animal trapped in a pen.

“You came into my home. Crawled into my bed. With me in it, if I must remind you?” the man reiterated. “And you want to act like I’m the one who brought you here?”

Gi-hun finally looked up at him, eyes wide from the adrenaline and fear still thrumming through him. He realized he’d thrashed around so much that the robe was bunched behind him more than covering him now. The open air felt like it was crawling over every inch of his exposed skin, uncomfortable and humiliating. 

The man was oddly respectful, looking at nothing but his face, at least for now. But who was to say how long he’d been like this or what it took for the man to undress him again, or where his hands would’ve been during it all… 

Gi-hun felt sick, stomach twisting, knowing guilt of his own had its hooks in him, reminding him of exactly what Mr. Serene had— he’d climbed into the man’s bed first. Had eyes on him first, which went far beyond tonight. The thought didn’t seem to hit him quite as hard as it did in this moment, chest rising and falling as he struggled to regulate his breathing. 

“Don’t you have anything to say for yourself?” Mr. Serene asked. 

“It’s not what it looks like,” Gi-hun forced out, realizing how weak the words sounded as soon as they left him. 

“Oh?” the man’s stare didn’t cease, as if trying to get a read of every layer he cosmically consisted of. “What did this look like? To you?” 

Gi-hun stared back at him, wondering if it was a trick question. “No—Nothing.” 

“Nothing?” Mr. Serene's eyes went a little dark, and Gi-hun felt the guilt churn. He knew he wasn’t fooling anyone, not even himself. He tugged weakly at the handcuffs, just to feel like he was doing something. 

“I’m sorry,” he sighed, hanging his head, eyes downcast. “I didn’t mean anything by all of this. Please.”

The man’s eyes narrowed, listening. “Please what?”

“Please let me go,” Gi-hun insisted. “I promise I didn’t take anything… I was—wasn’t going to hurt you.”

This, for some reason, seemed to cause a break in the man’s composure. It wasn’t anger, either, not even annoyance. The man smiled, and the lack of warmth behind it unsettled Gi-hun. 

“You did take something, actually.”

“Ah, did I?” Gi-hun felt his pulse jump, trying to rack his brain. He hadn’t taken any valuables, no money, didn’t even touch the fancy whiskey. “What…? Hey, if I did, I can r—replace it.” 

“No need. You were clearly hungry.” 

Ah, the chocolate milk and rice. He’d actually noticed them missing, despite how numerous he’d had of each. So the man had a keen eye for the tiny details. Aissi…

“If you don’t want me to replace the food, then why don’t… why don’t you let me go?” Gi-hun found himself asking, tone clearly hesitant. 

“You still haven’t answered me,” the man said, suddenly getting to his feet. He wasn’t dressed either. In fact, he was still in exactly what he’d gone to bed in. Somehow that made all of this worse. Why were neither of them dressed? “Why did you do it?” he repeated. 

Gi-hun definitely didn’t want to get into the fact Mr. Serene, without having planned any of it, had somehow become a regular part of his day-to-day life, so much that without having ever met him, he was someone… familiar. “Like… like you said. I was hungry.”

“Of all the things you could’ve done to solve that, and all the places, you chose to break into my apartment?”

Gi-hun was silent. Clearly, the man was trying to dig something out of him, and wasn’t going to let him go until he’d carved out the hole the truth was hiding in. Gi-hun wanted to run. He felt a little like a kid being reprimanded by authority, though they couldn’t have been any more than 5 or 6 years apart.

“Please, Mr. Se…” Gi-hun started, then when he realized, he fell silent. The man kept staring— truly, he’d barely stopped— but he now looked vaguely curious. 

“Would you like to know my name?”

“No,” Gi-hun answered, lying. 

He’d wanted to know the man’s name for a long time, but had never dared to do anything that might have provided him that information, like getting close enough to overhear private conversation, to glimpse his wallet, his mail, to follow him inside of his workplace, or even try to somehow look him up on the internet, which he wasn’t as knowledgeable with anyway. Maybe knowing would've shattered an illusion.

“What I’d like is for you to stop all these questions and let me go.”

There was a moment of extended silence after that. 

“Why would I let a home invader go without any repercussions for your actions?”

Gi-hun felt the unease eating him from the inside out. The man wasn’t really a killer, was he? Did he mean he’d call the police, have him arrested? Was that what all of this was for? 

“Are you gonna call the police?” Gi-hun asked, summoning all the composure he could as he straightened up to fully sit, arm hanging off the post, back pressed into the headboard. He somehow managed to look a little indignant. He had run-ins with the law before, but never like this. It was almost always for drunk and disorderlies, which he’d spent more than a few nights in the drunk tank for. 

He’d hated it every time; again, there was something his body despised in feeling trapped. 

This made the man smile again, cold amusement more obvious this time. “I am the police.”

The second that fell out of the man’s mouth, Gi-hun felt his stomach drop, mouth going dry. All that he’d done, all that had led to doing something like this… he’d done it all with… to… a cop? Ssibal. 

It explained the handcuffs. It explained a lot of things. But still not the reason why he was chained to the bed, still naked and having this conversation instead of being led out of the apartment by Mr. Serene and his associates with hands behind his back. 

“I’m a detective,” the man elaborated, when it was clear Gi-hun was at a loss for words. “You had no idea, did you?”

Gi-hun hung his head. His fingers clenched, not knowing how else to channel the anxious energy trembling through him. The cool metal dug into his wrist. 

“So you’re gonna turn me in?” he asked, quieter, dreading what it might mean. What kind of time did home invasion carry? 

He was given only silence again, until: “No.”

Gi-hun felt instant relief at first, but then all the other pieces weren’t quite fitting together in his head. Repercussions, but I’m not going to be turned in? A chill worked its way down his spine.

“I’ll never do it again. I promise,” he murmured, abandoning dignity for safety, fear still cold and persistent just beneath his skin. He’d pulled his legs up against him, hiding himself from a stare that had started to move to places other than his face. “Please.”

“It’s a serious thing, invading the personal space of an innocent man, and you expect to be let go simply because you haven’t physically harmed me.”

The shame reared its ugly head again, burning in his ears, his insides. Gi-hun hadn’t thought about it that way. He really hadn’t, not until he’d been hiding away in the man’s closet feeling like some perverted criminal, and maybe that really was his problem. I’m fucked, aren’t I?

“What are you gonna do then, huh?” Gi-hun’s fear was turning into something foolish, something instinctive that he couldn’t help. His voice lowered, shaky and serious. “Are you gonna hurt me?”

Mr. Serene smiled again, almost apologetic. “I’m going to give you what you want.” 

The man suddenly sat on the edge of the bed again, this time right beside Gi-hun. “But I admit, it may hurt. I’m not familiar with the way you work.”

If Gi-hun thought the fear had been bad before, it was nothing compared to the way the combination of the man’s words and sudden, uncomfortable proximity hit him. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?! Huh?” He jerked his arm in the handcuffs again, the movement more painful as he fought to pull his hand out of an impossible situation. “C’mon! The only thing I want is to get the hell out of here!” 

“You didn’t seem so eager to leave earlier,” the man replied, unaffected by Gi-hun’s shouting. “When you were wrapped around me.”

Gi-hun froze then, breath stuck in his throat as wide eyes landed on Mr. Serene. The man placed a hand on one of his knees and Gi-hun jerked it violently away. The man barely reacted. “You had me pulled so close I could feel how warm your breath was in my ear. Do you know you snore?”

“Sh–shut up!” Gi-hun exploded. “I said it wasn’t what it looked like!”

“Yes, I recall. You said it was nothing.” 

“R-Right! You… it’s… I’m not some kind of pervert, got it?!” Gi-hun growled out, now angrier than he knew he had any right to be. “I don’t even like… I’m not…”

“I believe you,” Mr. Serene interjected.

It was Gi-hun’s turn to stare, anger simmering and tempted to cool, but Gi-hun didn’t want to let it. Now wasn’t the time to be calmed by anything the man said. There was clearly something wrong with him, and he was clearly in trouble. He didn’t know what to do.

For some reason, Mr. Serene thought it a good idea to touch the side of his face in that moment, his hand strangely gentle, almost captivated, thumb brushing over stubble and toward his lips—

“Stop,” Gi-hun sharply said, turning his head. He felt his stomach curl, a burning in his eyes.

“You’re lonely, aren’t you?” the man asked, hand lifting again, this time sliding up one of his bare thighs. “Let me.”

Gi-hun swung at him then, managing to connect knuckles with the side of the man’s face. His head was knocked to the side, but his body stayed on the bed, hand immediately gripping his jaw. 

He didn’t think about the fact he’d just hit a cop— a detective, or whatever the hell he’d claimed to be— but he’d stopped touching him, at least, and that was all he’d been thinking about before he swung.

“You want it to hurt, then?” the man asked, so quiet that Gi-hun almost didn’t hear it. “Have it your way.”

But Gi-hun had heard him, and when it processed, his panic set in tenfold, heart racing as he began to yank at the cuffs, body beginning to wildly thrash, legs now knocking into and kicking at the man. Why hadn’t he tied him up completely, if this was the end game? What the fuck had he gotten himself into? 

“I don’t want anything, you bastard!” he shouted, “I said I didn’t mean any of this! I didn’t hurt you! Why do you… why do you have to do this?!”

The man had already gotten up from the bed, but not before getting a clumsy heel kick to his side. Gi-hun’s wide, following eyes saw that the man’s mouth was bloody; it looked like he’d managed to split open the corner of his bottom lip. Good.

“I know I don’t have to do this,” the man muttered, wiping at his lip as he stepped toward a drawer. “I want to. You compel me.”

Gi-hun kept struggling, breathless and getting exhausted, making sure he kept his eyes on the man. When he turned around from the drawer again, Gi-hun’s stomach dropped another few feet. In his hand was a gun, which he stood checking for bullets.

…Or was he showing him that it was fully loaded?

“He–Hey, what’s that for?” Gi-hun couldn’t resist the panicked question, tears now prickling at the corner of his eyes. He couldn’t help it; he never could, not with genuine fear. “Please.”

“Don’t worry. It’s just a precaution. You’re a trespasser in my home, remember?”

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Gi-hun insisted.

The man let out an unexpected laugh, more breath than sound. “You struck me several times.”

“You were touch—” Gi-hun paused, swallowing, humiliated, “— touching me.”

“After you touched me,” the man reminded. 

“Not like that! This is wrong, and you know it!” Gi-hun furiously exclaimed.

“There’s very little difference, and there’s no arguing your way out of this. I said I would give you what you wanted, and you won’t be leaving until I do.” 

“There’s a huge fucking difference!” Gi-hun countered before suddenly calling out, as loudly as he could muster after already draining himself, “Some—Somebody help!”

Mr. Serene stepped forward quickly, eyes narrowing as he shoved a hand against Gi-hun’s mouth. Gi-hun immediately bit at it, instantly reminded of what he’d witnessed in the parking garage. He tasted blood.

“Ah—!” the man hissed as he jerked his hand away, and Gi-hun continued to bellow.

There’d been that younger man, maybe a relative, who’d been biting and thrashing at Mr. Serene, just as he was now. It seemed like the man had a way about him that caused people to lash out like wild animals.

“Gi-hun, please,” the man insisted, sounding more exasperated than concerned. Had he not been worried about the noise, only reacting to it? Ssibal, was the place sound-proofed? Did he have no neighbors?

Wait, there’d been something more about his reaction…

His shouting died out, and Gi-hun sank against the bed, mind reeling. “... How do you know my name?”

There was a moment the man said nothing, gun still held in one hand. “Your ID, of course.”

Had it been, though? There was something uneasy about the way the man had sounded so familiar when it’d come out of his mouth, not like a name he’d just discovered. Maybe he did have an incredibly detailed memory, and absorbed these little details right away. Maybe.

“Where are my clothes?” Gi-hun suddenly asked. “Why’d you undress me?”

“Seemed you were more comfortable in my robe.”

Gi-hun grimaced, fingers nervously gripping the rustled bedsheets beneath him; he’d made a mess of them with all of his thrashing around. “You knew I was wearing it?”

“Hm,” the man offered an evasive hum as he approached him again. “Doesn’t matter.”

“And what if I wanna know anyway?” Gi-hun challenged, lifting his head as Mr. Serene sat on the bed again, the barrel of the loaded gun tipping against his leg, skating up his thigh instead. It triggered every nerve in his body, fighting the urge not to jerk or even tremble. What if it went off?

“Cameras,” the man offered simply, as if doing nothing. “I have them set up in every room.”

What else could possibly be revealed to make this worse?

“Did you know I was here this…” Another sick drop of stomach, “...this entire time?”

Chapter Text

“Yes,” the man replied with a vaguely satisfied smile, gun nearing even more sensitive territory, to which Gi-hun went rigid, heart pounding. “You really made yourself at home.”

Gi-hun had nothing to say for himself, knowing it was true. How could he defend himself, or ever convince the man to free him? Now fiercely ignoring the way the gun was trailing along his fear-softened cock, he hung his head, tone miserable and borderline resigned. “I’m sorry.”

Mr. Serene leaned in, so close his face brushed against his, nose tilting into his hair, quietly inhaling before lowering into the softer hollow beneath his ear. 

“You fascinate me, Seong Gi-hun,” he murmured, and Gi-hun couldn’t help but violently tremble now, fingers itching to shove the man away from him. It was solely the fucking loaded gun pressed up against his dick, however, that stopped him. “Tell me. How good did it feel?”

The question didn’t register at first, the words almost sounding like an echo from some faraway place, despite the man’s face being buried in his neck. “W–What?”

“Touching yourself,” Mr. Serene whispered into his skin. “While you hid in the closet, watching me.”

Fuck. Fuck, fuck. Gi-hun felt a hot rush of anxiety jump from his roiling stomach to his throat, breath knocked out of him from being abruptly faced with what he’d done. He really hadn’t known why. 

Aissi, maybe it had been loneliness. A purely physical reaction that would’ve happened no matter who was laid out naked on the bed in the throes of pleasure. He’d been alone for so long. 

“I don’t… I don’t want to do this,” he choked out, tears falling silently down his face. He felt the way his cock was stirring to attention from the steady, stroking motion of cool metal more than any arousal.

“Then tell me.” Mr. Serene was pressing lips into the expanse of his neck now, trailing from ear to collar bone, something warm and trickling left in the wake of his lips. Gi-hun’s pulse hammered right beneath, which the man could surely feel.

Gi-hun thought about grabbing the gun from him, if it’d be fast enough to stop him. What would he do? Threaten him? Shoot him? Could he really hurt another human being? Where were the keys to the handcuffs? If he hurt him, would he be stuck here, left to die?

“I didn’t touch myself,” Gi-hun said, voice shaking. “I wouldn’t… I’m not like that.”

Mr. Serene pulled back enough to look directly into his eyes. The gun, finally, was drawn away from his now half-erect cock, and Gi-hun nearly breathed a sigh of relief— until the man spoke again. 

“You’re a poor liar, Gi-hun.” The man leaned in again, a warm breath against his lips. The man’s own lip was still bleeding, blood spread across the corner of his mouth. “And sloppy. Next time, try not to cum all over my robe if you prefer to act innocent.”

“Fuck you,” Gi-hun growled, before leaning back, impulsively spitting in the man’s face.

The man blinked, lifting a slow hand to wipe it off of his cheek. Outwardly, it didn’t seem to change a damn thing, except that in the next instant, the man was on him. He’d shoved the gun somewhere beneath the mattress, too far for Gi-hun to ever realistically reach, and advanced without a word.

The rush of panic as the man came at him hurled him instinctively back of his own doing, wrist twisting in a way that sent white hot pain through his arm. “What— aissi!” 

Mr. Serene was between his legs before he could process what was happening, the man’s fingers gripping his thighs, forcing them apart. It was when he felt a swipe of tongue, a warm, invasive drag from base to tip, that he let out a pathetic noise between a whine and shout. “A–Ah…! Stop!”

A hand came down and smacked hard at the side of his head, but he only let out a small groan before gripping harder, fingers digging into skin as he took Gi-hun into his mouth entirely, eyes lifting to watch as Gi-hun’s eyes went wide, a choked noise of shock and… disgust, slipping its way out of his throat. 

Gi-hun’s hand came down again, but somehow Mr. Serene caught it this time, fingers now digging into his wrist instead, holding it down as he swallowed around him, Gi-hun’s breath hitching as he felt the man’s throat flutter around the hardening length of him. “P–Please…” he groaned, desperate. “Don’t..”

He tried pulling away, but the man had a surprisingly strong grip. He considered throwing himself around again, but the moment he attempted a fraction of the action, it pushed him deeper into his mouth. 

Wrap his legs around his neck, choke him? He couldn’t stomach the violent thought. Try to knock him off? No, deeper again. Cry? He already was; the man didn’t appear to care, maybe even liked it, judging by the way he kept his dark, assessing eyes on him. 

The man continued to slowly bob his head, and Gi-hun felt the man’s tongue press and slide against the underside of him, teasing at nerves that hadn’t been touched by anybody but himself, not for years. 

Gi-hun let out a helpless, strangled sound, trying to arch away despite going through his options. He had to try, didn’t he? But pinned down by Mr. Serene’s hands, by his mouth, all it did was bury himself further into what he was trying to escape.

The tears were flowing freely now, and the man pulled his mouth away, Gi-hun’s leaking cock bobbing up of its own volition. He let out another weak sob, closing his eyes to the sight of the other man’s tongue swiping away blood and things Gi-hun wanted even less to think about. This isn’t happening.

“Gi-hun. Calm down,” the man spoke softly, too much tenderness in his voice for what he was doing to him. He felt a thumb circling the wrist he had tightly held down. “It’s okay that you’re enjoying it.”

“You’re s–sick,” Gi-hun muttered, shaky, as the man leant back down, sucking on the tip of him. “Ugh…”

Gi-hun couldn’t help the way his mind wandered to the closet, the way he’d been honed in on the way Mr. Serene was pleasuring himself before all this, and how he’d paid special attention to the tip of his own cock. How human he’d looked up close, with his head thrown back, breathless and flushed, as opposed to that distant, unreadable stoicism he was so used to. He thought he’d been human.

Why am I thinking about this? What’s wrong with me? 

“Mmm–stop… p–please…. I can’t—” Gi-hun groaned, the muscles in his legs tensing, already feeling the familiar, hot pull about to unravel the tight coil inside of him. He tugged at his wrist again, trying to shimmy his way up the bed, up and away from the man’s terrible mouth.

But the man continued holding tight, following his movements up the bed, throat loosening to take him in completely, nose pressed into his pelvis as fingers wandered. They slipped down Gi-hun’s wrist, entwining with his, a moan far too relishing vibrating around him.

Gi-hun’s head fell back, eyelids fluttering, too lost in the feel of it to think properly. He was going to cum whether he wanted to or not, wasn’t he? “N-No…” he whimpered, the barest lift of hips betraying him.

And it was then that the sensation disappeared. The attentive suction, the tight, pulling warmth— gone, and all that was left was cold and want. Mr. Serene had let go of both his leg and his hand. 

“Wha… you…” he breathed out, before realizing he’d said anything at all in response to the man finally stopping after all of his futile begging. Mr. Serene had gotten off the bed again, leaving him sitting, covered in saliva and too much precum for having hated every second. 

“Don’t worry. I’m not done,” the man said, a subtle smile on his face. 

When it sank in how lost he’d gotten and how easily he had stopped fighting, Gi-hun’s entire body slumped, as if folding into itself. Shame tore through him. 

“If you touch me again,” he ground out, still breathy, but with a clear fire still burning inside of him, “I’ll—”

“What? Cum?” Mr. Serene remarked, calm, eyes falling to where Gi-hun’s cock still stood at full attention, precum beading at its tip. “Seemed like you were about to finish down my throat.”

“Don’t you… don’t fucking say things like that!” Gi-hun suddenly exploded, working with sporadic bursts of energy his anger fed him. 

“Am I wrong?” Mr. Serene asked, retrieving something in another drawer. Whatever he brought out this time, he hid in his hand and kept close to his side. 

Gi-hun couldn’t tell what it was, but he tensed regardless as the man walked back over, pulling the gun back out from under the mattress. 

He held it as a quiet threat as he gave a soft, direct order. “Lift your hand up. Keep it next to the other one.”

“Why?” Gi-hun immediately questioned.

“A simple rearrangement.”

“What the hell does that mean?” 

Mr. Serene sighed, though amusement kept in his expression. “You’re tenacious. I mean to make you more comfortable, that’s all.”

When Gi-hun refused to move his arm, the man stepped forward again, tilting the man’s head up to look at him, the barrel of the gun holding up his chin. “Thinking about spitting in my face again?”

“You liked that, huh?” Gi-hun bit back. 

“Not as much as you enjoyed mine all over your cock, hm?” Mr. Serene murmured, the gun traveling along the side of Gi-hun’s jaw now, then up and over his lips. “Open.”

Gi-hun felt himself trembling, a cold sweat returning to his palms, before traveling up his neck. His eyebrows furrowed, glaring as he pressed his lips together. 

Mr. Serene pulled the hammer of the gun back, tone somber. “Open.”

Body clearly shaking now, tears already rolling down his flushed cheeks, he reluctantly parted his lips— the bottom one trembling as the man pushed the gun between them, stare riveted to the way they wrapped around the barrel. “Your hand. Please.”

The please was a surprise, though not enough of one; Gi-hun was too terrified and distracted by the fact he had a loaded gun with its hammer pulled back stuck in his mouth as if Mr. Serene had asked him to open it for a thermometer, and there was zero resistance as he raised his shaking arm to join the one attached to the bed post. “Good. Now keep it there.”

The gun was pulled out, hammer released, as the man somehow managed to finagle him out of the handcuffs with the gun still hung in one hand. It was less than a minute later that both his hands were secured again, this time together. As they probably should’ve been originally. Had Mr. Serene wanted to test him? See if he’d manage to hurt him? The sick fuck probably wanted me to. 

Immediately, Gi-hun took advantage of the moment, swinging at him now that he was no longer fastened to the bedpost. Sure, he was still handcuffed, but the man had just given him a lot more freedom. 

Unfortunately for him, he missed this time, Mr. Serene tilting back, appearing to have predicted what he’d do. 

“Gi-hun.”

The tone was almost admonishing, and that pissed Gi-hun off even more. He used both legs to kick at Mr. Serene this time, managing to knock both him and his breath out of him. He swore it looked like a wry laugh fell out of the man too, but he didn’t linger. 

He scrambled his way off of the bed as quickly as he could, practically throwing himself onto the floor. Luckily, though, a sense of scrapiness had him land on a knee— fuck, it still hurt— which he quickly pushed up from and started running. He didn’t give a rat’s ass that he was running around still hard, or still in just a bathrobe. 

He sprinted, clumsily, toward the front door. Hands handcuffed in front of him, he bent his arms in such a way he could get at the lock, but just as he went for the second one at the top, he heard a familiar click, cool metal pressed into the back of his head.

Him and his hands froze.

“You’re not leaving, Gi-hun.”

There it was again, that too familiar roll off the tongue, the sound of it slipping uneasily inside of him, causing nerves to shudder beneath his skin. 

The man had to be bluffing, right? He wouldn’t blow his brains out for simply trying to leave his apartment? How sane was he, though? The man had just given him an unwanted blowjob… Not to forget the way this all started, and how he’d had all that blood on his hands when first encountering him. What if the man had snapped, and killing him is what he decided to do as a last hurrah? 

Gi-hun hated thinking this much. As he stood there, he didn’t bother raising his hands in surrender, given the fact they were already locked in front of him, so he let his shoulders sag as Mr. Serene gripped him by the back of the robe and guided him back around, away from the front door.

“You’re crazy, huh?” Gi-hun muttered, dispirited, as he was led back toward the bedroom, the gun now gently pressed against his upper back. “Some psycho they let have a badge and a gun, so you can take advantage of people like this?”

“I’m not taking advantage. You did,” the man replied, matter-of-fact. “And these are your repercussions for invading my home, and my privacy.”

“Yeah, yeah, Mr. Serene. Repercussions. You said that already.”

There was a thoughtful pause. “Mr. Serene?”

Ah, aissi. How did I let that slip? That was stupid. Always fucking stupid.

“It’s just something I do. Make up names for people. You– you’re too damn calm for all this.”

“Mm. Is that so? Did you make it up just now?”

Gi-hun knew he hesitated too long before he replied with a careful, “...Yeah, why?”

They’d made it to the bedroom again, and Mr. Serene bumped the barrel into Gi-hun’s back. “Lay down over the edge. On your stomach.”

Gi-hun felt his stomach twist for what felt like the dozen-th time that night, surprised that he hadn’t puked yet. Must’ve been the cold that covered it, snaking around his insides. He didn’t want to bend over the goddamn bed for him, but he did, stretching arms above him so that the cuffs wouldn’t dig into him.

“It’s very perceptive of you,” Mr. Serene answered, “to come up with in one night.”

“Guess I must be, then,” Gi-hun said, face turned to its side against the smooth blankets. Maybe he was the crazy one, but he felt like closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep. He didn’t want to deal with this. Didn’t want to think. 

Just for a second, he buried his head into the blanket, pretending it was still much earlier, when he’d been totally alone, enjoying the feel of the blankets against his skin, even the warm, woody smell of them. He breathed in long and quiet, then out. 

He tried to ignore his own tears, the moisture felt beneath his face. What else could he do? He tried. 

It was then that he felt the robe ride up his backside, collecting against his upper back and exposing the rest of him to the open air. A leg slotted between the two he had hanging off of the bed and though his eyes were closed, he winced, fingers clenching in the cuffs. 

He felt a hand against him next, fingers sliding gently along the curve of his ass. The man was being gentle, his hand warm, but Gi-hun whimpered, the noise muffled and involuntary. He was scared. 

Gi-hun tried again anyway, unable to help himself, feeling so defenseless his stomach hurt, trying to wiggle up the bed. To somehow get away. The man only gripped him by the thighs, the feel of the man’s thumbs pressed just beneath his ass, dragging him the meager way back down. Fuck, what was he, a weightless toy? 

“You really believe you’re doing the right thing, here? Teaching me a lesson?” Gi-hun ground out, the words leaving him before he could think about it. 

“I’m giving you what you want,” the man replied, after another thoughtful moment where his hand explored, sliding between the groove of his ass. 

“I’ve told you that I don’t, you fucking freak,” Gi-hun growled out, suddenly throwing his weight to the side, trying again. “You hard of hearing, or what?!” 

Mr. Serene simply grabbed him by the hip, manhandling him back onto his stomach. “You’re very evasive tonight,” he commented. “You haven’t answered a single question I’ve asked honestly.”

“How would you know if I’m being honest?!” he exclaimed, defenselessness escalating into fury again. He was starting to thrash around. “What the hell do you know?!”

Even though he knew he had a poor case, it wouldn’t stop him from arguing anyway, from lashing out. 

Mr. Serene pressed himself close, one hand gripping that spot just beneath his ass again, the other with a full grip of one cheek. “I told you, Seong Gi-hun. You’re sloppy.”

The man had stepped himself between both of Gi-hun’s legs, spreading his own so they knocked Gi-hun’s apart. Gi-hun could feel the solid shape of the man pressing snug against him through the soft fabric of the man’s underwear, and his breath devolved into shallow gasping. 

“Please,” Gi-hun begged. But he swore the second that fell out of his mouth, the man twitched against him, pressing closer. Fuck– this wasn’t happening, this wasn’t happening.

“Answer something honestly and I’ll make this a little more pleasant for you. I planned to originally, but you’ve been making it difficult,” the man offered, sounding far breathier than before. 

Gi-hun’s eyes were burning; he wanted to sob aloud. He knew he sounded pathetic, but again, he could hardly help it. He was desperate, unthinking. 

“Fine.. fine! It was, I don’t know… five, maybe s—seven months ago, alright?” Gi-hun admitted, and Mr. Serene fell extra quiet. 

“What was seven months ago?”

“When I picked that name for you,” Gi-hun confessed. “Mr. Serene.” He was really feeling the shame burn in him now; his ears and all surrounding skin felt on fire. Please, make him stop.

“I see.” The man’s tone was unreadable. “And what about the time you had no name for me?”

“I dunno,” Gi-hun choked out. He felt the man shift, spreading the groove of his ass apart with slow fingers, thumb suddenly brushing against the rim of him. The breath that fell out of him was sharp, body trying to jerk away. Mr. Serene held him tighter.

“Think about it,” he demanded, tone disconcerting in the way it remained soft.

“L—Last year, sometime? I.. I lost track,” Gi-hun whined, the thumb pressing firmer, circling. “Please, don’t…”

Like his pleading was an instant trigger, he felt the man rock hips forward, the definition of him much harder now. Gi-hun squeezed his eyes shut, the sensation of the man’s thumb causing his cock to stir awake again, shameful tears falling into the bed. 

“You’ve been following me, a nameless stranger to you, since over a year ago?” His tone was as calm as ever, but Gi-hun thought he heard genuine interest beneath it. “When did you first see me?”

Gi-hun didn’t answer at first, mind spinning, nerves caught between hot, overwhelming humiliation and an almost tickling pleasure he was trying desperately to ignore. The man shifted away for a moment and Gi-hun couldn’t move— thinking of the loaded gun and all of the blood, all of that blood swirling down the drain— and when the man returned, it was to a hand spreading him apart again. 

“This is the part that may hurt until we get used to each other.” Mr. Serene said, as if about to initiate some fucked up medical procedure they’d both agreed to. “Understand?”

“I don’t,” Gi-hun’s voice rose as he tensed, head lifting away from the bed. “I don’t understand why you– this isn’t something a normal person—ah.. a–ah, fuck!”

A finger that had just been circling the rim of him again, once or twice, suddenly pushed inside, cool and slick and unbearably slow. The man had one hand held at the small of Gi-hun’s back, keeping him down as Gi-hun clenched and gasped through his teeth, attempting to shimmy his way up the bed. 

It didn’t hurt, not at the pace the man was going with his single finger, but it wasn’t comfortable. 

“Have you never done this before? You’re very tight,” the man asked, finger pushing another inch deeper. “You do realize you’re no more normal than me?”

“Don’t t-talk about… besides, what’s—ah— any of that…” The finger inside him twisted, and for some reason he tried to twist with it, but the man was determined to hold him down. He gasped, face half-pressed into the bed, “...’m nothing like you.”

“Loosen up.”

“You loosen up, you fucking—” The man buried the rest of his finger inside of him, the feel of it making his toes curl against the floor as he clenched down even harder. He’d never had anything in his ass before, so who could fucking blame him? “— Ah, aissi, stop!”

“It’ll feel better if you loosen up,” Mr. Serene firmly said, stopping but not pulling his finger out. “You seem sensitive, Gi-hun. Should I go even slower?” 

“Stop saying my name like that,” Gi-hun hissed through gritted teeth, irritation clawing at every edge of him. He should have risked turning that top lock anyway. The man wouldn’t have done it. He couldn’t have. He squeezed his eyes shut, the corners still wet. “Can’t you fucking hear me say stop?”

“I have stopped,” Mr. Serene said, the hand against Gi-hun’s back rubbing small, idle circles into his skin as he smoothly shifted gears. “You never told me when you first saw me. Where was I?”

Gi-hun lay there, panting, wanting to tear the man’s throat out. All the pent-up emotion made him want to purge his mind of the memories he had of him, of all the obsessive wondering about what type of person the man was— if he was bad, and needed to be stopped, or good and simply… burdened by something Gi-hun hadn’t yet managed to figure out.

“You were in a park bathroom. H–Haneul Park, I think. It was late,” Gi-hun forced out, swallowing, no longer trying to move in fear it’d make the finger buried inside him feel all that more obvious. “At one of the sinks, washing all the… that blood off of your hands.”

It felt like hundreds of times that he told himself he was going to stop, but the man always did something that made him hesitate, like stopping a little too long by the side of the river, appearing lost in thought. Another moment, when already looking exhausted after exiting a late-night train, he’d leant down on a knee to feed a stray cat. Another time he’d received a phone call; after hanging up, he’d slipped into an alley to collapse against the wall, a hand over his mouth. To Gi-hun, this had all felt human and like something he could help fix… if only he could figure out the best way to not ruin it. Not again.

“Interesting,” Mr. Serene remarked. “So that was you exiting the stall. You do realize that incident occurred over two years ago?” Then, as if he hadn’t thrown off Gi-hun’s established sense of time with that single statement, the man moved on. “Ready for another?”

“W–Wait! No!” Gi-hun’s whine dipped low as a second finger joined the first despite his protest. He exhaled, strained and noisy, into the blankets, as the man stretched him out. “You’re ly–lying.”

“I promise you I’m not. I suppose you did a better job than I thought, if you’ve been stalking me since that day. You must’ve gotten comfortable with me as time went on, or perhaps you wanted me to notice?”

“I’m not a—” Gi-hun broke off with another groan, aching to reach back and yank the man’s fingers out of him. He hated laying here as if he were willing. “— ‘m not a stalker.” He felt his cock drag against the bed as he unsuccessfully arched away from Mr. Serene’s pursuing touch, and realized he was hard again. 

No, no, no….

“What do you call following a man for two years, then daring to enter his private home?”

Aissi, it felt like too much. Was it only two fingers? How the hell was this still happening? Was the gun gone? Could he try to kick him and make another run for it? “Please...” he pleaded over an answer.

“Mmm,” Mr. Serene hummed, the sound a little too satisfied. 

It came to Gi-hun that he should stop saying that word. It clearly riled up the freak. At least he wasn’t rubbing his dick against him now, but Gi-hun wasn’t sure how long that would last. 

“I feel I should tell you that I’ve known about you following me,” Mr. Serene commented, far too casual as he pulled fingers out, up to the tips of them, then sank them back in with a gentle twist. Gi-hun gasped through it, legs trembling, toes curling again as he squeezed his eyes shut. “That I let you.”

“F—fuck,” Gi-hun whimpered, unable to hold it back. “That.. that can’t...”  

“I’ve known for the last six months. Since you gave me a name, apparently,” Mr. Serene continued, amusement returning to his voice. “You had a good run without me noticing. I’m a little disappointed in myself, but I’ve had to concern myself with a lot these last couple years. I suppose a lonely man in the shadows I had to let slip.” 

Gi-hun felt the cold seeping in again, not knowing what to do with the information that the man knew and had just… let it happen. It didn’t feel real. None of this did. 

“I wasn’t doing anything wrong,” Gi-hun tried to defend himself, the shame and guilt of being confronted with it starting to slowly crush him. “I was… curious, I swear that was it. I thought I was... w—watching out.”

“Oh?” A third finger joined the two, careful and patient. It made it worse. “For me, or everyone around me?”

Chapter Text

“Both,” Gi-hun groaned into the bed, fingers gripping the blankets so hard now they were starting to hurt. “I didn’t always think about it. I just….” His dick was starting to ache, and he felt another hot flush of humiliation as he resisted rutting against the bed. “…just did it.”

“That explains a lot about your behavior,” the man mused. “Are you starting to feel good, Gi-hun?”

“No,” Gi-hun indignantly ground out, “shut up.”

“I don’t believe you.” 

The man suddenly pulled fingers out again, just to carefully push them back in, a curl to his twist this time, brushing up against nerves that caused Gi-hun to let out a shaking, startled moan. Ssibal. What was that, how could…

To his horror, he’d pushed unintentionally back, body mindlessly reacting to what it read as good, clenching hard around the invading fingers like he meant to keep them there this time. 

This isn’t happening. 

Gi-hun swore he heard a trembling breath fall out of the man doing this to him, as if built up and unable to be suppressed any longer. 

“That’s it,” the man praised, now paying special attention to the spot he’d found. “Take what you want.”

“I don’t want this,” Gi-hun practically keened, stomach churning, his cock leaking as he pressed back. His face was flushed and wet with tears as his body rut into the bed anyway, seeking more friction to end the terrible aching. “I don’t want this,” he repeated, whimpering.

“It’s okay, Gi-hun,” he heard the man softly speaking from behind him, wrong in the way Gi-hun felt it working through him, consoling him as he fucked himself between the pressing fingers and the soft bed. 

Fuck, and it still smelled so good… if he just let himself sink into it... “Mmh...”

He barely noticed how the bed dipped, and how the voice had gotten closer, a brush of heat against the shell of his ear. “You’ve waited a long time to feel this, haven’t you? Waiting for me to give it to you?”

Gi-hun could only sob between his helpless gasping. He hardly registered the skin pressing against his, the way a hand was at his hip, lifting him closer, deeper onto attentive, rubbing fingers. “Must feel nice, letting yourself have it, hm?”

Gi-hun, overwhelmed, imagined the words coming out of someone else— the misunderstood man kneeling to help a cat, the one with softer eyes who’d given his food away— someone human. 

Still, he wasn’t lost enough that a, “It— It was never like that…” fell out of him anyway, broken and genuinely hurt. 

“Maybe not,” Mr. Serene murmured, and suddenly fingers were no longer inside of him. How empty Gi-hun felt seemed wrong, the ache of it twisted as he clenched around nothing, audibly panting. “But it turned into that, didn’t it? Once you got close enough to imagine me? What I’d smell like? How I’d feel?” 

“There’s something f—fucking wrong with you,” Gi-hun protested, throaty and anguished into the bed, unsure if the words were aimed at Mr. Serene or himself. 

“It’s human, Gi-hun,” Mr. Serene consoled again, lips pressing somewhere behind Gi-hun’s ear, savoring him with an inhale. A hand continued to grip his hip, a clear hardness pressing against the cleft of him. “Almost couldn’t help yourself in the shower, could you? I’m a little disappointed you smell so much like me.”

You should run, Gi-hun’s mind shouted at him. This is it. 

“Lucky I don’t give a shit about disappointing you,” Gi-hun spat out, mind managing to summon one last-ditch effort to fight back, despite being humiliated into… into...

Elbows dug into the bed for purchase as he suddenly threw himself around, hoping the limbs he let swing freely hit some part of Mr. Serene, and that it’d hit him hard. 

For his effort, the man got a knee in the stomach, a surprised grunt knocked from his manipulative mouth. Gi-hun hurriedly rolled and kicked himself up the bed, to the opposite end of where Mr. Serene was clutching his stomach, catching breath through blood-dried lips. 

“I’ve never encountered someone so eager to resist something that would clearly benefit them,” the man huffed, staring at him through fallen hair, lighter brown framing his face in a way that made him look deceptively normal. “You’re a difficult one to persuade.”

“Maybe because you’re terrible at it,” Gi-hun retorted, venom in his low tone. “Try being a good person, to start.” He swung legs off the bed from the other end and stood there, breathing hard as he debated his next move. To run out the bedroom door would require running right past Mr. Serene. Where was the gun? 

“You witnessed me washing blood off my hands in the dead of night and still believed before tonight that I could be a good person?”

The way the man asked that seemed genuinely curious, head tilted as he kept dark eyes focused on him. He sat on the edge of the other side of the bed, hard dick still out on display. The fact that they both were had Gi-hun’s stomach curling, and he was suddenly far too self-aware, trying to secure the robe tightly around himself with the limited range of his hands. 

This seemed to amuse Mr. Serene, because he was smiling again.

“…Guess I should have stuck to my first impression, then, since I was dead wrong,” Gi-hun muttered, eyes glancing at the door. 

“You’re a fascinating person,” Mr. Serene said, still smiling. “I admit the more we interact, the more I feel for you, Seong Gi-hun.”

“What the hell does that mean?! You don’t know me!”

“I bet I know more about you than you know about me. Tell me, did I remind you of him? Is that why you chose to follow me?” 

Gi-hun started moving around the bed, watching Mr. Serene carefully. He had a feeling he wasn’t going to get out of this, but if he had a fighting chance, he was going to take it. “Who?” Gi-hun asked, distracted. 

“The man you found with his wrists cut. You stated he was your best friend from childhood, yes? That must have been extremely difficult for you.”

Gi-hun felt his blood run cold, the grief of that dark memory hitting him like a truck, the nervous swallow frozen midway in his throat as his stare went from the door to Mr. Serene. “Don’t you dare talk about him.”

“I know what it’s like, finding someone already gone and there being nothing you can do to save them.” 

Fingers curled tightly in front of him, still locked in the cuffs. What kind of person— who would— “Why would you bring that up?”

“I assumed seeing me in the bathroom, all the blood and water, that it may have been a trigger for you, and what prompted this obsession. Of course, I didn’t realize that was the first moment you saw me until tonight.”

“I— no— fuck you, you psycho! I’m not obsessed!”

“I assure you, I’m not psychopathic. Please don’t think I am trying to judge you, Gi-hun.”

It was too late for him to not react, for the rage and sadness and confusion to surge through him all at once, compounding into what turned into him rushing at the man, no matter the handcuffs or any chance of potential escape. 

“S—Screw you for bringing him up! You don’t know him, you don’t know me!” He was sobbing, pissed, and now on top of Mr. Serene, who’d gotten knocked back on the bed with arms defensively crossing in front of face. He had apparently reached his allowed limit of getting struck in the face. 

Still, Gi-hun wailed on him, the invasive memory of himself pleading desperately as he dragged his best friend’s limp body out of that bathtub flashing through his mind, heavy and painful. He swung his bound arms down, fingers curled into fists to hit his chest, his sides, his blocking arms. He didn’t care if the only thing he managed to do was leave a collection of ugly bruises on the bastard beneath him.

“This entire time! You were a horrible person this entire time!” 

“Gi-hun—”

“Don’t say it again! You’re not allowed to use my name!”

“Please, let me tell you mine. Then we—”

“I don’t want to know who you are!”

“That hasn’t appeared to be the case.”

“I don’t care! I’m not curious anymore!” Gi-hun’s voice broke, caught between honesty and sorrow and too much else. He sat on top of Mr. Serene’s hips, heaving, sweaty strands of hair stuck to his face. His locked wrists fell against the man’s stomach, palms planted there without thought, keeping himself weakly upright.

“I used to think… I used to be afraid that if I decided to finally introduce myself, you’d be… that I’d scare you, and it would all end. There’d be nobody again. Just… just me and eomma. But you…”

“Please. Let me give you attention, Gi-hun.”

“What did I fucking say?!” Gi-hun shouted, nails digging into the man’s skin. “You keeping me here by gunpoint hasn’t helped anything! Your kind of attention is…” Gi-hun lowered his head, shaking it, “sick.”

“Can’t you wait until I’ve given it to you, before you start making accusations?” the man questioned, sounding too sincere. Too normal about what’s been taking place in his apartment. He’d already lowered his arms, propping himself up by his elbows as he stared up at Gi-hun. 

“Just let me go…” Gi-hun muttered low, uselessly pleading again, head still hung as he kept his weight on him. “Please.”

Mr. Serene kept watching him, quiet and deliberating, then all at once, suddenly wrapped arms around his lower back, flipping him over and onto the bed with reserves of strength he hadn’t yet touched.

“I told you what has to happen.”

“Why?!” Gi-hun shouted, miserable and exhausted in all his struggling. Regardless, he managed to throw his weight around, aiming to shake off the man’s hold. “Why does it have to be like this?!”

“You’ve really forgotten what you did, hm?” Mr. Serene questioned, holding Gi-hun down as if it were simple, as if he’d been holding back the whole night. 

“What— break in? Got into bed? What are you talking about?!” 

“After you climbed into bed with me, you used my body. You worked yourself inside of me.”

“Wh–What?! That’s a fucking lie!”

Mr. Serene was quiet as he started to force Gi-hun back onto his stomach, to which Gi-hun resisted, and Mr. Serene subsequently subdued, until the two of them ended up wrestling their way back into a similar position as before, breathy and on edge. Gi-hun was, at the very least.

“I wouldn’t lie about that,” Mr. Serene responded, unflinching.

Stupid, you’re so damn stupid. 

“Granted, it was partially my own fault. The dosing may have been off.” Mr. Serene pushed one of the man’s legs up, guiding him with a firm touch to the inside of his thigh, until he was spread out enough that his ass and access to it was on display. The robe was pushed up to the middle of his back. 

“D–Dosing?! What do you mean?” Gi-hun felt like reality was crumbling around him piece by piece, mind trying to connect dots and feeling them disappear every time he got close. Had this all been a trap?

They were soon back where they’d last ended, with bare skin touching, Mr. Serene pressing his cock into the cleft of him, breathing warm against his ear. “In your years following me, have you ever seen me drink chocolate milk?”

“I—” Gi-hun didn’t know. He didn’t pay attention to the details Mr. Serene seemed to. “— I don’t…”

“You pressed up close and wrapped an arm around me,” the man continued, back on the other topic. “I could smell cigarettes on your clothes.” He sounded unaffected, and Gi-hun was starting to worry, anxiety eating away at the rest of him. He really didn’t remember anything beyond curling up behind the man, holding him, and accidentally falling asleep. Dead to the world until he woke up handcuffed. 

You were stupid. 

“You were warm, and trembling. Worried about getting into a bed with a man who didn’t even know you were hiding in his home, I imagine. Do you remember anything after that?” Mr. Serene asked him again. 

“How do you…? You… you were drunk, and fast asleep. I checked,” Gi-hun both asked and admitted. “I didn’t do more. It wasn’t like that.”

“I was acting.”

Mr. Serene leaned away for a moment, felt by the way the bed dipped, then returned. He seemed to busy himself with his hand, and Gi-hun felt his breathing pick up. “Why would…”

“Never mind that. You were hard again, pressed up against me. Impressive refractory period,” the voice was a whisper against his ear, and Gi-hun felt something slick and warm bump up against his entrance. He let out a sound, half gasp, half a sob, body burning with the layering shame. 

“I don’t believe you really knew what you were doing, outside of chasing what felt good. You pulled yourself out and tugged down my underwear, rubbing yourself against my skin. I must have been warm, hm? I don’t entirely understand why you bothered to get dressed again, if you weren’t going to leave right away.”

“...S–Stop… I wouldn’t…” Gi-hun had his eyes squeezed shut, body slackening with a shattering guilt.

“Mmh, but you did,” Mr. Serene said, teeth at the skin of Gi-hun’s neck now. With a gentle hand and a push of hips, Gi-hun felt the tip of the man’s cock squeeze past his entrance, and he whimpered. The man was much thicker than a finger, the solid feel of him somehow worse than the three he had in him before. 

“You seemed curious as you kept going, because you made quite the effort to shove yourself in at a certain point. You were leaking, but even then, your methods weren’t ideal.”

Mr. Serene sank forward, barely an inch before he stilled again, though Gi-hun could feel the warm, shuddering breath against his neck, like it was taking every ounce of the man’s willpower not to slam his hips forward. Why was he being so fucking gentle? This wasn’t… they weren’t…

“I tried to stay still for you,” he practically purred. Gi-hun shivered. “I thought you might have your way with me when you finally worked yourself all the way in, but you simply held me. You surprise me.”

“Why don’t I remember?” Gi-hun ground out, trying not to react at all, to the point of willing his muscles lax, as much as he wanted to clench against how full it felt. 

Aissi, he’d never felt anything like this. It didn’t hurt, not as much as he thought it might, but it wasn’t pleasurable either. Not if he could help it.

He wished he could will his cock soft, but he already felt the friction of the blankets against it, the feel of it extra sensitive after being whipped constantly between arousal and fear within this last— how long had it been? It felt like hours, being pinned down by Mr. Serene like this. 

“Mmh. Like I said, you were drugged,” Mr. Serene hummed as he sank forward again, halfway inside of the man. “A normal man might be driven to give in to his animal urges with inhibitions reduced in such a way, but all you seemed to want was my warmth and proximity. A very endearing trait, Gi-hun.” 

Gi-hun felt angry at first, brows knitting together, nearly turning his head to shout another betrayed curse at the man for having known these things all along, but the anger bled out of him before it made it past his lips, body on limited energy for it; an aching despair moved its way in instead, dragging him down. 

What right did he have to feel angry, anyway? 

“You were trying to make this happen?” Gi-hun asked, voice hoarse.

“No,” Mr. Serene answered. “I had no plan to tell you these things. These memories were going to be mine, but you kept asking me why. You’ve been curious, Gi-hun. I want to give this to you.”

Gi-hun felt something deep inside of him cracking, something close to confusion and a mournful kind of loneliness that pulled tight at his chest and hurt like hell; he blinked away tears he knew were pathetic as he finally rasped, “…I just wanted to feel close to someone again.”

Mr. Serene’s thumb pet small, patient circles into Gi-hun’s thigh, hips angling deeper but without any deliberate rush, almost as if trying to comfort him. “Don’t worry. I didn’t mind.”

Gi-hun didn’t fully understand why he did it— wasn’t that just like him?— and it was too late when he realized he had. Mr. Serene was moving agonizingly slow, one might even call the pace considerate, and something in Gi-hun couldn’t take this anymore. He tried not to, he really had, but he… he…

He buried his elbows in the blankets, rocking himself with force enough that the rest of Mr. Serene’s cock bottomed out inside of him. Gi-hun immediately cried out, fingers white-knuckling the blankets beneath him as gentle ease turned into a sharp, stretched fullness that had his head buzzing. “A–Ah… ss–ssibal! It’s so… it’s too…” he whined, pressing back into the bed. 

This definitely isn’t happening.

Mr. Serene groaned, both hands grasping at the man’s hips, weight falling against him as he found himself buried in the tight, hot heat of the man beneath him. 

“G—Gi-hun…” the man released a stuttering sigh, the intimacy of his name falling out of Mr. Serene's mouth, which would’ve pissed Gi-hun off before, now causing his cock to leak, entirely to his dismay. “I was trying to allow you a chance to—”

“Shut up!” Gi-hun growled, stomaching past the discomfort and rolling himself back anyway, uncertain if his body was seeking escape or relief. The smooth drag of the motion drug up another open-mouthed groan. Could it be both? “Shut the hell up and don’t…d— ah!” 

Mr. Serene met the roll with a hungry push of his own, lifting himself to his knees as he kept Gi-hun’s hips held between bruising fingers. 

“Don’t?” the man questioned his broken sentence.

Gi-hun’s body second-guessed itself, bowing away from the man’s sudden, possessive hold of him, pulling himself up the bed with a dazed gasp, but Mr. Serene yanked him back, pulling Gi-hun’s ass snug against his pelvis, buried deep again. “Don’t what?”

An agonized groan left Gi-hun, teeth buried in one of the arms he now had crossed beneath his head, fingers curled into the bed beneath him as Mr. Serene drew back and sunk slowly forward. 

Gi-hun said nothing, the rest of it trapped somewhere in his throat, pushed aside by all the other noise that slipped out of him against his will. The feel of the man holding him, rocking roughly in and out of him, was something both his stomach and mind wanted to fight tooth and nail to resist. 

But as Mr. Serene re-angled his thrusting at the slightest of degrees and snapped his hips forward in a way that knocked right into the same bundle of nerves the man’s curled fingers had found before— all the internal shouting melted away. “Nnngh, ah! Fuck, what are… unh, you…”

His body, betraying him, immediately shoved back as if to bury himself in the sensation of it, whatever the hell it was. All sense, all reason, all fight— could he not feel good? Not for a minute? 

Of course you fucking can’t. Not now, not with this monster! his mind, always on its crusades, made its last ignored attempt as he imagined reaching back to grip the man’s clutching hands, ensuring he didn’t move from this exact position, that he didn’t stop.

“Oh, is this what you want?” Mr. Serene coaxed, words breathy between his quieter, contented moaning. “Finally figured it out?”

Gi-hun said nothing, just nodded, panting and shameful against his arms, mouth opening soundlessly as the man delivered another hard thrust. It took a second to finally knock a loud, keening cry out of him, pleasure shuddering through every overwrought nerve of him. 

Aissi, why did his body always have to announce its weaknesses? Why could he never stay quiet? 

“Closer,” Gi-hun suddenly insisted, shame managing to slip away, ushering in something corrupt, something he wasn’t sure was his or a poison of Mr. Serene’s.

“Mmh..” the man hummed in question, pleasantly surprised, sinking weight on top of Gi-hun, one hand keeping his hips raised from the bed just enough to keep the angle Gi-hun enjoyed. Their heated, sweating skin pressed together in a way that felt dangerously romantic. Mr. Serene’s voice hovered behind his ear again, breath mingling much closer now. “Like this?”

“Hah… nnh, yes…” Gi-hun panted, pressing hips back, desperate. “D–Don’t stop… please...” 

If Gi-hun were still of a self-aware mind, he might have noticed the strained cursing that fell out of Mr. Serene, and noticed how close the man appeared to be. 

But he wasn’t, because he was drowning in the reality-shattering feeling that was the heat between him and the man currently on top of him, freely fucking into him so slow and deep now that any argument of how unwanted this was might no longer hold up in any kind of court.

Lost in the mounting, quivering pleasure that was the man’s cock shoving into that spot, rocking him into the bed where his twitching, leaking cock slid, stuck between the soft covers and his own slick stomach.

No longer self-aware because in the next second, he was coming undone. “Unhh, fuck!” His back bowed, pulsing cock burying itself flush into the bed as he came in numerous hot spurts. “This can’t—ah, fuck, fuck—!”

Barely noticed, as well, when Mr. Serene followed, hips digging flush against Gi-hun’s ass as he sank teeth into the flesh of his shoulder, pinning him to the mattress as he finished inside of him.

It wasn’t until minutes had passed, when heavy, haggard breathing softened into something slower and dazed that Gi-hun finally felt sense gradually sinking back in, and with it a crushing mortification. 

He turned his head against his arm, realizing it was wet with a mix of drool and fresh tears. He heard Mr. Serene breathing softly, the warmth of his weight still on him. He swore he could feel the press of lips against his shoulder, and with it felt a slight stinging.

Somehow, he found his voice and made it sound half-normal. “...Gonna let me go now?”

“I told you I would,” Mr. Serene murmured against his skin. 

Gi-hun swallowed an inexplicable sob that wanted to wrack through him. “Get off, then.”

“Okay,” the man replied, disturbing how untroubled he sounded as he rolled off of him. 

“So you know how to listen, now,” Gi-hun muttered as he rolled over and pushed himself up. His eyes swept over the room, wondering all of a sudden where the gun might be, or even where his clothes had ended up. When he opened his mouth again, it was the safer option. “Where are my clothes?”

“I was always listening,” the man remarked, moving to stand, stark naked and acting as if it were entirely normal for them to be that way in each other’s presence. “Just selective about what I yield to. I’ll get your clothes.”

With that, the man walked out of the bedroom, as if none of what happened had just fucking happened. For some reason, impulse suddenly overrode caution and Gi-hun was out of the bed, too, searching hands sliding under the mattress. When nothing was found there, he tried the pillows, then the drawers closest to the bed. He blatantly ignored the bottle of lube on the end table. 

There. There it was. Just sitting there, unsecured, left there as if the man were in no way concerned.

Gi-hun didn’t know why he chose to look for it. He reached out, cuffed hands hovering over the grip. 

“Are you planning to shoot me, Seong Gi-hun?” the voice sounded from the door. 

Gi-hun’s head whipped around, landing on Mr. Serene still in the buff, holding his clothes which now appeared to be clean, possibly even fresh out of a dryer. He was watching him with careful interest, unblinking. 

For what felt like forever, Gi-hun looked back at him, then again at the gun. He could do it. 

No, you can’t. 

“It’s Hwang In-ho,” Mr. Serene said.

“What?” 

“I’d like you to know my name, in case you do decide to shoot me.”

To that, Gi-hun frowned, blinking away frustrated tears as his fingers curled into fists. He turned away from the gun, lowering his arms. “What kind of person do you think I am, huh? Someone like you?”

He wanted to do it. He could have done it. 

Mr. S— no, Hwang In-ho, now— had the gall to smile, though it barely existed on his face. “I would never shoot you, and I think you knew that.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Gi-hun muttered bitterly, stepping over to In-ho. He tried to ignore that his ass ached, and the perpetrator was still standing right in front of him. “I sure as hell wouldn’t have let you lead me back into this bedroom if I knew that for sure.”

He also tried to ignore the even uglier thought as it wormed its way in. What if it was him who had wanted something so badly he couldn’t stop himself… him who’d crossed a line and kept sidling forward?

“It means exactly what I said,” In-ho said, simply, “Though I admit, I still would have done what I could to keep you from leaving. An effective aim of my gun seemed the gentler method.”

“Gentle,” Gi-hun bitterly repeated, resisting an equally bitter laugh, eyeing the pile of clothes. He shrugged his shoulders, lifting up his wrists a tic. “You gonna uncuff me, too, Officer Hwang?” 

In-ho’s ghost of a smile kept on his face as he set the clothes on a nearby dresser and moved to a drawer to grab what Gi-hun assumed— or hoped— was the key.

“I prefer Detective.”

When he returned, he stepped in close, hands suddenly at Gi-hun’s wrists, fingers rubbing gently, almost reverently, over irritated skin; heat crawled in as Gi-hun stood there awkwardly, waiting. 

“You put up such a fight for having started it,” In-ho said thoughtfully, almost like he was talking to himself, but then his eyes lifted, staring at Gi-hun again. 

“Lunch on Friday,” he added, out of nowhere, finally bringing the key out of his hand to deftly unlock the handcuffs. The process was so swift and simple that it felt like some kind of joke. Even when the metal fell away into In-ho’s hands, the man didn’t move away. “So, will I still be seeing you in the alley across the street?”

Gi-hun’s breath caught in his throat, eyes lowering to the floor. The man’s smile had disappeared; he clearly hadn’t asked the question as if it were some kind of twisted punchline. He just stood there, too composed and serene, like he always had a way of doing. 

“I—“ Gi-hun tried to start, voice trying not to shake as shame and panic rattled inside of him, despite the line having already been crossed. He didn’t know what to say. That he didn’t want to stop, didn’t know how? Aissi. 

Somehow the thought of not seeing In-ho anymore made his stomach turn, so visceral he thought he might throw up. Then that thought hitting him, like he was some kind of unhinged addict, hit him even harder. He winced, snatching his clothes off of the dresser to distract himself with getting dressed instead of answering. 

He had convinced himself this entire time that it was harmless, that the nameless distance between them somehow made it okay. Not knowing the man’s name, he could keep pretending it was… nothing like this. 

Yet the man had known about him. Maybe it hadn’t been the entire time, but long enough for it to unnervingly eat at Gi-hun, and the man willingly chose to let that go? He’s been letting me do it. 

Even more, now Gi-hun knew his goddamn name. 

In-ho’s stare locked on him as if reading through every little detail of his sullen expression.

“It’s okay if you still want to,” In-ho added when the silence continued to stretch, Gi-hun relieved to finally have pants on again. He wished In-ho were interested in doing the same, but he simply leaned against the doorframe, watching him get dressed. “We both know you’re not a very careful man.”

To illuminate the point, In-ho lifted the hand Gi-hun had sunk teeth into, turning it curiously around as he observed the bloody bite mark that was left.

Gi-hun ignored him, instead doing a double-take on the shirt in his hands. “This isn’t mine.”

In-ho glanced at it, then back up with a dismissive shrug. “Funny. I wasn’t able to find it.”

Gi-hun doubted that, unable to help the openly skeptical look he gave In-ho. The man had proven to notice the details in everything else, so the fact he’d miss a simple shirt on the floor was a stretch. Gi-hun’s look seemed to roll smoothly off of the man’s unbothered shoulders.

“Fine. Keep it,” Gi-hun scoffed, pulling what he assumed to be a shirt of In-ho’s own over his head. 

They weren’t the same size and it was obvious by the shirt’s fit— one lift of arms over his head would flash his midriff to the world, but Gi-hun decided if the man was letting things go, so would he. 

When he was put back together, the man’s robe tossed to the floor, he eyed In-ho again, an irrevocably shaken part of him wondering if the man might try to stop him if he tried to squeeze through the doorframe to leave. 

Would he try to keep me here forever? His heart was already beating faster, palms starting to sweat. The man was still watching him, appearing content with the awkward, hesitating silence. 

Fuck it. He couldn’t take standing here any longer. 

“I’m leaving now,” Gi-hun announced, feeling as if he needed to make it clear, unsure if the man would listen as he stepped forward, then slipped through to the hallway. The man didn’t touch him.

“Okay,” In-ho calmly accepted, shifting slightly but not moving out of the way as much as he realistically could have. Gi-hun’s stomach gave another uneasy flip, bedroom and In-ho now behind him.

“…Okay,” he sighed, trying not to sound too relieved. 

As Gi-hun walked toward the front door this time, he noticed In-ho following quietly behind. Why? Is he trying to prove a point? Gi-hun’s nerves thrummed, now that he was so close to freedom from the sort of hell this had managed to turn into.

“Don’t forget your shoes. You left them by the chair,” In-ho commented, Gi-hun turning to watch him gesture toward it, as if they’d just finished with a casual hangout. 

“Ah.” The noise fell out of him, without meaning it to mirror how casual In-ho had sounded. He quietly padded over and shoved them on, glancing back at In-ho… just to check.

“Before you go,” In-ho spoke as Gi-hun moved his attention back to him, “you never answered.”

“Answered what?” Gi-hun muttered, a little vacant.

“Will I see you again?”

“You’re seriously out of your mind.”

“I could easily say the same about you.”

“We’re not the same,” Gi-hun shook his head, his attempt at clearing it of all the chaos roiling around inside of it, making his way toward the door now that he had his damn shoes on again. 

“Even so,” In-ho said, tilting his head as he crossed waiting arms over his chest.

Gi-hun didn’t owe this man anything. Of course he didn’t. Why would he? 

So why did his mouth open after he undid the locks— both of them, this time, without a gun interrupting the process— and as his fingers went for the doorknob? They lingered there, almost playing with it.

Gi-hun should’ve opened the thing and bolted. Instead, he stood there like stupidity was second nature, thinking about everything he had tried not to think about since walking through the door initially, things like how easy it had been to come here, and why leaving suddenly felt complicated.

“Why, you creep? Aiming for a pair of underwear next time, huh?”

“If that’s what you’re offering,” In-ho replied, straight-faced, “I’ll leave the door unlocked.”

“How about you learn to put your own damn clothes back on first?”

Before In-ho could say anything else, Gi-hun opened the door and escaped. 

—------------------------

Once he’d wandered back to a main street, he dug out a desperately needed cigarette. They were still intact, which meant the man had to have had the mind to put the items in his pockets aside while the clothes were washing, then to carefully slip them back in. Why did the freak do it to begin with?

As he took a long drag from the cigarette he held between shaking fingers, his mind let in a thought it shouldn't have. If he ever decided to drop himself into the seat In-ho always left empty on the Fridays he ate lunch at that cafe across the street, would the man glance up, acknowledge him with softer eyes?

“Aissi,” he scoffed, releasing smoke into the early morning air, feeling a chill against the small sliver of stomach this damn shirt had shifted up to expose.

You must be looking to make another stupid mistake.

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