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Hermione arrived at Fred and George’s twenty-fifth birthday with two wrapped gifts under her arm and a bottle of champagne in her hand. The party was beginning in an hour and a half and Hermione was there early to help set up.

”Ah! Our favorite genius,” George grinned at her arrival.  

Fred continued after George, reaching out for a hug. “Glad to see you, Hermione.”

”Glad to be here. Happy birthday!” She returned his hug with enthusiasm before giving George the same greeting. “I’ve brought presents and champagne.”

The twins gave Hermione a quick tour of their shared flat, offering up an empty table for Hermione to set the presents down and then led her to the kitchen to drop off the champagne. 

Harry and Ginny were busying themselves with decorations as Hermione and the twins came up on them. Harry was hanging party lights as Ginny untangled them from a box. Hermione gave only a quick ‘hello,’ and ‘how have you been?’ before she was led further into the flat to find Ron, Bill, and Charlie arguing over what liquor to put into the jungle juice in the living room. 

A large punch bowl that was now turning a dark green color sat in the corner of the room as the Weasley siblings pointed and suggested, all getting fairly frustrated with each other.

Hermione stepped forward to them, “Perhaps some rum?” She suggested wearily and all three heads turned towards her. Ron’s smile was large and contagious as he waved.

”Hey there, Hermione!” He said enthusiastically, holding a full bottle of firewhiskey in his unoccupied hand. 

“Already have two types of rum.” Bill argued, “Absolutely no more rum.” 

“Then, just as I said, we should put in some Purple Tequila.” Charlie seemed to suggest again, confidently opening the bottle of purple liquid and holding it high above the bowl. He smirked, letting it pour in despite the protests from his brothers.

Hermione was put on snack duty and spent an entire half hour arranging various platters and bowls across the counter space in the kitchen. She aligned all the finger foods, then all the dips, and made sure to keep the fruits and vegetable platters to the side with a cooling charm applied. 

People began arriving a bit after six, the first guests including a very glammed up Angelina Johnson with Katie Bell at her side. They’d been greeted by the twins and swept away for a tour just like Hermione had been. After them came Seamus Finnegan and Dean Thomas, already seeming as if they’d already begun drinking before showing up.

They fell into a fit of laughs almost immediately upon seeing the twins, all sharing an excited chatter of inside jokes. Hermione watched, amused, as she began filling cups full of ice. 

She was arranging them quite nicely as well, six rows of five would do.

She found Harry and Ron engaged in a debate on whether or not to blow up the balloons with a Forever Float charm, or just use regular air. Harry insisted regular air is faster, but Ron insisted that George and Fred both loved inhaling the helium charm to make their voices high pitched.

Ron won with that argument and next thing Hermione knew, she was being roped into helping fill up fifty multi-colored balloons with Forever Float. Ginny joined five minutes later to help, though she was far more interested in gossiping about how Neville and Hannah had not shown up together rather than worry about the balloons. 

Later, Hermione realized that Ginny had been right, that Neville and Hannah were on complete opposite sides of the still-growing party. Hermione only dedicated a short amount of time wondering what had happened to the couple before she decided that it just really wasn’t any of her business, she supposed. 

“Don’t tell me you invited Malfoy!” Hermione heard Ron rumble from somewhere down the hall. Hermione found herself floating towards them, anxious to hear the answer. Maybe she hoped- no, let’s not throw around the word hope in the context of Draco Malfoy.

”We did,” both of the twins sounded at once. Then one of them alone, “And Theodore Nott, too.” 

Hermione finally found them as she turned into the guest room that was currently being turned into the perfect beer pong room. Harry and Ron were leaned against the table that was set up and Fred and George were both casually against the wall across from them.

”Are you guys bloody mad?” Ron asked, sounding awfully exasperated. 

But neither Fred nor George seemed to care what Ron thought. Instead, George shrugged and pushed himself off the wall. “They’ve both been a right good time at the Three Broomsticks.”

Fred continued, “You fellas would know if you ever came out on a boys night.”

Harry sputtered a quick, “We don’t go because Malfoy goes.”

”I think we all need some jungle juice,” George announced, suddenly changing the subject away from Malfoy whatsoever. Then, Fred added, “Let us celebrate, yes?”

Ron grumbled an unsatisfied, “Yeah,” that matched Harry’s solemn, “Sure.”

Hermione shouldn’t have been excited when she heard a familiar boast of, “And the real party has arrived.” That would be Theodore. Her eyes immeidately snapped up and witnessed Theo standing tall with hands raised as if he was accepting an award. Then, behind him, Draco Malfoy stood looking damningly downright debonair. 

He was as tall and slender as ever, his hair handled with care, and he wore black slacks tailored to perfection with a dark grey button up.  From where Hermione stood, it looked as though it might have the smallest print of polka dots but she honestly couldn’t tell. Perhaps she would just have to get closer…

Her vision was cut off by Ron walking past her, to her other side where Ginny and Harry sat together on the couch. Ron was grumbling something like ‘bloody Slytherin pricks,’ before nestling himself comfortably in the tiny space between his best friend and his sister. 

Ginny rolled her eyes and Harry stared coldly at the fireplace entrance where the two Slytherin pricks stood. Hermione then watched the duo get swept away by the birthday twins themselves.

She couldn’t help but notice once more how perfectly tailored Malfoy’s clothes were on his backside.

”Granger,” 

Hermione froze, the ladle of (now an upsetting color matching puke) jungle juice halfway to her cup. She peeked a nervous eye over her shoulder and saw Draco Malfoy near her. 

“Oh!” She startled by accident, feeling stupid for letting that come out of her mouth. “Er, Malfoy!” She fixed, finally bringing the ladle of jungle juice to her cup brim and poured it in. She ignored the way her fingers began to shake.

“Are you sure you should be drinking that? You work on Monday, after all.” He told her slyly, a teasing drawl in his voice. 

Hermione scoffed, dropping the ladle to scoop another round. “If you’re insinuating that I will have a two day hangover and will not recover by my next work morning…” she watched the liquid pour into her cup with a lip between her teeth in concentration. Then, she left the ladle in the bowl and turned to face Malfoy. “Then I doubt that you are even remotely sober and perhaps you should not be next in line for this juice,”

Draco Malfoy was taller than her by a lot, hovering over her in a menacing way. Hermione gulped down any nerves she felt beginning to manifest in her body and stared up at him, letting a stubborn look reside on her face. He challenged her with his eyes, the lightest shade of grey emitting the darkest of intentions. 

Hermione had to look away before she simply combusted from within and dropped her eyes to his shirt. And she had been, in fact, correct about his shirt having tiny polka dots. She let an amused smirk pull at her lips.

”Is my shirt funny to you?” He asked her.

”Yes,” she decided to say. “It is. Later, Malfoy.”  

And then she left him at the jungle juice table.

”Do you know why I always, always come to the twins’ parties?” Seamus asked the group around him with a drunken slur. 

Dean was first to guess, a finger raised as if he had already clocked it. “The jungle juice, of course.”

Seamus’s eyebrows rose and he looked over at Dean, as if in thought. “Well, yes. But really I come for the games - they make the best games.”

Hermione could…disagree. But fighting with a drunken Seamus is never a good idea. So, she let him believe what he wanted to believe. And he did so loudly.

“Remember last year when they had the feast flavored gum? Oh, and the year with the- with the bats?” He wondered, putting a thoughtful finger to his chin.

”They were miniature dragons,” Neville corrected. “I’d remember because one of ‘em bit me!” He said in disbelief. “Had to get three stitches, I did.”

Seamus didn’t even hide his laugh and Dean snickered along, “Right! They were dragons. I get that year mixed with the iconic Halloween party of ‘02.”

Another round of laughs bursted in remembrance and Dean threw in another memory of the one party that was called to an early end because of the game that included fireworks and three shot glasses assigned to each person. Whichever of the twins had come up with that great idea was… lucky to not have been killed by Mrs. Weasley afterwards. 

“I can’t wait to see what they’ve got stirred up for this one.” Seamus said excitingly and took another large gulp of jungle juice. He grimaced, “But this is one fuckin’ disgusting drink.”

Hermione and her friends laughed.

She was about three cups of jungle juice deep when she feared for everyone’s lives the moment she found Draco Malfoy cornered by both of her egg-headed best friends. Hermione nearly squashed her cup in surprise, but knew that if she did that -  she’d spill all of the jungle juice that was currently helping her deal with this. Hermione took a panicked drink of the juice before beginning her way to… save the day?

Draco was glaring at Ron while Ron had a determined look on his face, but red in the cheeks with alcohol. Harry had a matching intoxicated blush on his face but wore a glare that could compete with Draco’s. Hermione approached tentatively,  “And what is going on over in this corner?” She asked, noticing that her words were a little slurry.

”Your friends are morons, Granger.” Draco said from his cornered spot. “You should teach them party etiquette before the next one, eh?” Then made a move to leave the vicinity.

Hermione cleared her throat, “Malfoy,” she stuck her hand up to stop him. His eyes locked on her palm raised at him, then quirked an annoyed eyebrow. She waited to see if he would obey, and after a few seconds of silence she realized that he was.  

She gulped, realizing far too late that she hadn’t even planned anything to say. But all three of the wizards looked at her expectantly, so Hermione finally pulled out a nervous, “Can’t we all just… be friends?” Friends? Merlin, Hermione.

”Friends?” Draco Malfoy asked at the exact same time that Ron Weasley guffawed obnoxiously. Harry only gave Hermione a ‘fucking hell, Hermione’ look and Hermione felt her cheeks deepen horribly. 

“Well, a simple no would have done.” She told them bitterly. Then, she didn’t miss the shared amused smirk between Malfoy and Harry for a single second. Suddenly, the embarrassment didn’t cut so deep.

She wasn’t meaning to watch Malfoy. He just happened to be perfectly illuminated by the kitchen lights and she just so happened to be sitting at the exact angle it takes to see him. His hip bone was leaning against the counter with ease and Hermione only allowed herself to look at him for five seconds max every few minutes or so.

And if he somehow had caught on, he didn’t make it known. Instead, he chatted casually with Theodore Nott and Neville Longbottom. Hermione suspected they were talking about the breakup, from Neville’s animated storytelling and both Draco and Theo’s interested smirks. 

Hermione was seated comfortably in an armchair that was seated next to the jungle juice station. She was currently watching Draco take a long sip of juice and overhearing a gossipy conversation about one night stands next to her as Lavender Brown and Padma Patil refilled their cups. Hermione thought she might’ve heard the name Oliver Wood being shared between them, but somehow Hermione was much more interested in the way Draco Malfoy’s belt sat on his waist in the most sinful way. 

She had never seen a man that dressed so effortlessly flawless all of the time. Everyday, she would see him at the ministry. His pants were always pressed and perfect, his shirts always wrinkle-free and fitting, even his damn shoes were always so damn shiny and pristine! 

Hermione had been staring for five seconds too long. She glanced away, hoping to Merlin that Draco Malfoy would never catch the way she so carelessly checks him out over and over again. 

“So the game is called ‘It Takes Two, and so it literally takes two players for each team.”

”But the fun part is that we’re allowing fate to pick the teams. Only becuase our little games are never quite our little games without an element of panic amongst our players.”

”We will be choosing the teams in a Triwizard Cup fashion in honor of the late Dumbledore who would have absolutely despised this game!” 

“This here is the Twin-cup, perfectly enchanted by your favorite twins to choose the perfect duos. Then, we will give each team one of these,” and suddenly, Fred pulled a single bright orange wrapped candy. He held it high for everyone to see, “And this candy here splits evenly into two parts. Each teammate will eat their candy. Then, the fun commences.”

Hermione stared at the ominous candy that lacked even a label on the wrapping and then watched the way Fred and George basked in the chaos that they began. First, a roar of chatter, then Seamus yelled above the crowd, ‘And then what happens?’

“And then the fun commences.” George repeated again, adding to the ominous air of it all.

Another round of panicked chatter ran through the crowd and Hermione took a look around. She saw looks of fright, looks of excitement, looks of terror but intrigue. Harry was scowling, furrowing his eyebrows (probably trying to figure out what possible outcomes could become of this game), Ron was trying to explain something to Ginny and used large hand expressions as he did and Ginny was not impressed. 

Then Draco was… bored. Even with the wild commotion literally surrounding him, even with the bomb drop of the game, he was bored. Theo, on the other hand, had a huge grin that told Hermione that he was one of the only guests actually excited for this damn game (along with Seamus, obviously)

”One by one, I’ll let the cup offer me up two names. Then, as a team, you will come to the front and take a candy to split.” George told the rules, standing tall in front of the entire party.

Everyone had found various seats around the living room and left the front of the room empty save for the twins and the table that held jungle juice and the Twins-cup. 

“Are we ready for this, friends?” Fred asked.

Immediately, Hermione heard drunken whoops across the audience and knew that at least three of them were Seamus, Dean, and Theo. She let herself chuckle amusedly before feeling her heart drop in anticipation of being chosen first. She really didn’t want to be chosen first. Or at all, really.

Fred and George stood on either side of the cup that began glowing a wild orange color which matched the candy wrappers. Hermione watched with wide eyes as the cup began shaking and roaring, then all of a sudden it shot up two pieces of parchment. 

She thought she could feel her heart in her stomach at this point. Her lip was in between her teeth as an anxious habit and she, just like everyone else, paused. Each of the twins caught a parchment and let the silent tension grow a few seconds more.

”Our first participating team will be…” George began, allowing for a drum roll (that no one had the guts to do) and then announced joyfully, “Longbottom!” Then, Seamus and Dean gave another loud round of ‘whoop’s as Neville slowly raised from his seat, almost white in the face.

Hermione thanked Merlin she hadn’t been first picked. But that, in no way, meant she wouldn’t be number two…

Fred made a show of unfolding his parchment, then grinning before saying,  “Our sister, Ginevra Weasley!” 

Ginny quickly rose from her spot between Harry and Hermione on one of the sofas and moved to stand near Neville. Neville, poor Neville, looked as though he could throw up on the spot while Ginny looked effortlessly unphased. Hermione was mildly impressed by the redhead's gusto.

Fred and George were both nearly jumping out of their shoes in excitement. Ginny grabbed a candy from the bowl and presented it to the crowd, gaining an ‘ooh’ from Seamus only. Hermione watched as Ginny finally tore the wrapper open and revealed a gummy candy.

She could see a clear indent in the gummy where Ginny was meant to tear it in half. Hermione wondered if maybe it would be orange flavored? Then, she watched as Ginny turned to Neville and she gave him his piece, “On three?” She asked.

Neville audibly gulped before he nodded slowly and Ginny gave him a supportive pat on the shoulder. “Three,” he started solemnly.

”Two,” Ginny said in a heartbeat.

Neville hesitated, “One.” And made a strangled face right as Ginny raised her candy to the crowd once more.

”Cheers to my twin brothers.” She congratulated right before popping it into her mouth, Neville falling behind with much less vigor.

The entire party froze, waiting for the worst while the twins stood to the side with similar faces of excited anticipation. Hermione wondered just what in the world was about to happen? 

“I don’t know if it’s-“ Ginny started saying, but her voice was at least three levels deeper. Hermione’s mouth fell open and both participants’ eyes widened. “-working.” Ginny finished, tumbling into a laugh at herself.

Neville gulped again before clearing his throat, “I think-“ he stopped, surprising himself at the high register his voice now had. He turned rosy in the cheeks at the attention, or in embarrassment, and chuckled along, “I think you could say it worked.”

Fred and George were highly amused, hitting each other on the shoulder as they cackled. Ginny turned her head to squint at her brothers, “How long is this going to last?” She asked in a deeply un-Ginny like voice and the party cracked up together at it.

George responded in between laughs, “Lasts anywhere between,” laugh, “ten and twelve-“ laugh, “hours.” 

“Hours?” Both Neville and Ginny asked together in their opposite voices. Hermione felt herself laugh along loudly with her friends and looked beside herself to Harry, who looked deeply uncomfortable with Ginny’s new voice.

”Hours!” Fred agreed mischievously.

”Merlin,” Ginny complained, exasperated before walking back towards her seat between Hermione and Harry. She plopped down next to them, throwing a tipsy arm around her boyfriend. “Hey, baby.” She said, somehow making her voice seem even deeper and Hermione laughed as Harry shuddered and grimaced, pulling away from her. 

Hermione thanked Merlin again when the next two names that popped out were Seamus Finnegan and Theodore Nott. After a (missed) high five between the boys, they found themselves giggling at the front of the room together, Seamus not even trying to hold himself back before reaching for the top candy. 

He ripped it open with no hesitation and offered for Theo to break off his half. Theo agreed excitedly, grabbing his half of the candy and Hermione then watched them both tear their own pieces, dropped their heads back and let the candy fall in.

Hermione watched as they ate their first bite, eyes wide with anticipation. Suddenly, a set of cat ears popped out of Seamus’ hair and whiskers grew from his face. Hermione’s jaw dropped open in surprise once more, glancing at Theo who had now suddenly sprouted his own set of dog ears. 

Hermione couldn’t even stop herself before she looked for Draco’s reaction. She glanced just in time to catch Draco Malfoy break into a large grin and laugh.  Hermione felt a tug in her chest, an unwanted thump of holy shit, he can smile. 

Theodore Nott barked and Hermione’s eyes were turned back to the changing duo in front of her. Seamus let out a meow in return that sounded half worried, half mortified. Theo fell into a fit of laughter and Seamus reddened in the face further than he already had, obviously embarrassed.

The twins were bellowing with laughter, George’s hand running down his face. Theo suddenly stopped smiling, quickly turned around and showcased that he had a tail. It wagged right to left and the entire party erupted into more laughs.

Seamus, too, spun around in horror and presented his own fluffy, flickering tail that reminded Hermione way too much of Crookshanks. It was horrifying, Hermione thought as she hid her eyes and laughed, hearing Ginny’s new bass-filled laugh next to her which sent Hermione into another fit of giggles.

The twins ushered the two boys back to their seats, both of which were pointing at each other and laughing hysterically. “Your- your whiskers, Finnegan!” “My whiskers? Look at your nose!” 

George grinned, “Lavender!”

Fred smirked, “Younger brother, Ronald!”

The crowd laughed. Hermione took a long swig of her jungle juice as she watched Ron stand from the other side of Harry, looking similar to the way he would walk likely towards his own death sentence. Hermione was amused, to say the least.

Ron unwrapped the candy like a gentleman and handed it to Lavender to split in half. Hermione watched with an interested twist of her lips as Ron mumbled an awkward, “Ready?”  

And Lavender responded with a nervous, “Sure.”

Hermione waited two, three, four seconds with everyone else in silence. The exes stood side by side, both terrified and awaiting their punishment. Hermione’s eyes widened as she suddenly watched the pigment from Ron’s hair fade to a brown, and Lavender’s curled locks turning into a fiery red. 

Hermione cackled. Ron was staring, wide-eyed, at Lavender’s hair before he quickly rose a rand to rake through his own. Ginny let out a gods-awful deep rumble of laughter next to Hermione and that sent Hermione into a further spiral. 

Harry, however, was stuck in fear between his girlfriend's sudden puberty and his best friend’s new look. “Ugh! I’m a redhead?”  Lavender screeched.

”You stole my hair…” Ron complained, staring at her, “For how long?” He asked, turning in disbelief towards his meddling brothers but the twins were lost in their own fit of laughs, pointing at Ron from their corner. 

”Horrible look on you, lad.” Harry said as Ron approached his seat. 

Ron ran his hand through his hair again, self consciously. “Shut up, Harry.” 

Hermione’s palms were getting sweatier by the minute. Every name that was called meant one more person that she wouldn’t be paired with. She was beginning to get nervous as hell. It was torture, pure torture, she easily decided.

”Next we have Angelina-“

“And Dean!” 

Hermione’s palms grew sweatier. Her leg began to bounce in anticipation as she sat back and took another sip of juice to hopefully ease her nerves. Merlin, Fred and George were villians for this. 

A shredded candy wrapper, a torn gummy seam, a clank of candy, and suddenly Hermione saw the two Hogwarts alumni begin turning… orange. She watched in shock as their skin began to change colors slowly until they both were as orange as the damn candy wrapper. 

Hermione heard Fred and George burst into loud, boisterous laughter as both Dean and Angelina realized what happened when they looked at each other. Angelina’s face fell in annoyance and Dean’s smile grew large and amused. 

The next minute was almost television worthy as Hermione witnessed Dean laugh into his hand, then look at his orange hand to laugh even more at the situation; all while Angelina’s orange cheeks began to turn tangerine as she glared at the twins who were far too busy in their own little world of the hilarity that they created for themselves.

”Ah, yes, Hermione Granger!” George bellowed and Hermione’s heart sank. She debated on finishing her drink entirely, right then, but suddenly-

“And… Malfoy!.” 

The room was silent. Hermione felt every single muscle of her body quit. All but her right hand, of course, which decided that now was the correct time to finish off her drink completely. 

Ginny let a low whistle sound as Hermione chugged. While she could have found it hilarious, she actually thought that this moment was the very last scenario she would ever find humor in. She set her cup down on a side table and stood up, watching Draco rise at the same time.

Still, no more words had been said throughout the entire crowd. Just a silent room as everyone watched what the fuck was about to happen. Hermione had never walked slower than when she did to the front of the room. Draco walked even slower than that. 

Since she arrived first, Hermione went ahead and took a candy from the pile. She hoped to the gods that she chose a good one -  she needed to choose a bloody good one. Hermione surveyed the blank wrapper before slowly ripping it open, turning around to suddenly face those damned polka dots. She eyed the fabric and was hit all at once with the scent of his cologne. 

Woodsy, manly, and upsettingly delicious. Hermione raised her eyes to Draco’s and she lifted the candy between them, “Here.” She found her voice.

Draco reached out, breaking his half of the candy off of hers and stepped to the side, turning to face the crowd of thoroughly amused party guests. It remained dead silent amongst everyone as Hermione and Draco stood side by side, both procrastinating for as long as possible. 

”Well,” Hermione glanced softly at Draco.

”Well,” Draco responded back, lowly, taking a look at her as well.

”Go?” 

“Go.” 

Hermione popped the gummy candy into her mouth and grimaced as it exploded into a sweet jelly once she bit into it. And yes, it absolutely did taste like oranges. Hermione swallowed, licked her lips and nodded at the sweetness. She looked out into the crowd and suddenly, something was off. Something was really, really off. Had Hermione moved? 

The crowd was looking at them expectantly, waiting for the duo to reveal the joke. But Hermione didn’t know the joke. She furrowed her eyebrows and put her hands on her hips, “I don’t feel-“ wait a fucking second.

Hermione paused and from somewhere in the crowd, Theo somehow understood. The bloke stood up, letting out the loudest laugh of the entire night. Hermione turned to her right, squeezing her eyes shut as soon as she did because she saw herself. 

Unconsciously, she felt her waist where she had sassily placed her hands just a few seconds before and felt a belt. A belt that she very much had not been wearing right before the candy. Good fucking Merlin, she was in Draco Malfoy’s body. 

“Holy shit,” Draco Malfoy said in Hermione Granger’s body and voice. “Holy fucking shit.”

Hermione’s eyes opened wide and witnessed her own body stare, shocked,  down at itself. “Don’t even touch me, Malfoy.” she said immediately, pointing a finger at herself? 

Then, all at once, the entire party understood what had happened to Hermione and Draco and everyone laughed just as hard as Theo was. Theo, who was wiping tears from his eyes as he leaned into Seamus, both boys howling with joyous laughter.

Hermione was frozen in fear, too afraid to move anything because she was… Draco Malfoy. She was tall, and slim, and - damn these pants are snug! Hermione couldn’t even stop the blush from heating in her cheeks at the thought of wearing Malfoy’s pants and other certain things that go along with wearing Malfoy’s pants. 

Then, Draco looked at her from her own eyes. They stared at each other in each other’s body and Hermione suddenly realized that Draco Malfoy might have the absolute worst perspective of her known to mankind. Right now, she towered over her own head and could see every zig zag in the natural part of her hair, every untamed curl Hermione would never be able to spot on her own by her mirror, and she even could partly see down her dress front - and Hermione realized exactly in that moment that that meant Draco Malfoy very well could have already taken a peek down her dress front!

Her cheeks deepened with her blush and she watched Draco roll Hermione’s eyes, crossing his (her?) arms. Hermione hated that she could see the exact way her chest plumpened against her forearms. “Hey, my eyes are up here,” Hermione witnessed herself say in a very Draco Malfoy-ish way and then the entire party cracked up again. 

Hermione chose to ignore the fact that she was stuck inside of Malfoy - blimey, she was bloody stuck inside of Malfoy! She had stiffly placed herself back down next to Ginny on the couch and the redhead hadn’t stopped staring. 

Ginny risked pushing a finger towards Hermione’s Draco face and before Hermione could even stop her, Draco Malfoy’s tone, coated in Hermione Granger’s voice rang out, “Don’t touch my face, Weaslette,” from his spot next to Theo.

It looked funny, Hermione’s body next to Theo. Then, she was unlucky enough to witness Draco try to cross her legs in a manly way, completely showing off a hot pink set of garments to the world, before startling to drop his right leg in realization. He slouched, defeated and Hermione blushed for herself. 

Fred and George excitedly called for Bill Wesaley and Katie Bell to come up next, two very different people who quite possibly had never even met before. Bill politely opened and split the candy, handing Katie her own piece before the two of them shared a nod and popped it in.

Hermione shifted, feeling excruciatingly aware of the fact that she was a man. For the first (and hopefully last) time ever, she was a man. And not only was she a man, but she was bloody Draco Malfoy. Hermione’s eyes automatically shifted to see what Draco was doing. He was sitting exactly how she imagined she was, stiff as a board and unwilling to even look at themselves.

She was brought back to the game at hand when she suddenly heard an elephant’s howl and realized that Bill had made that noise upon trying to speak and Katie’s shocked gasp quickly turned into a tiger’s roar.

She could feel everything. She could feel how tall Draco’s socks were. They cascaded up her ankles and stopped mid calf. She could feel that he apparently preferred briefs, not boxers. She noted that he was wearing a thin tank under his dress shirt. She could feel… a penis. 

Hermione chanced a glance at Draco sitting in her body, knowing that he must be examining the same. Perhaps he feels that her choice of underwear was lace, that her shoe size tonight is just barely too tight, and that she definitely had breasts upon her chest that he had entire full access to feeling, seeing, and knowing. He somehow knew her infinitely better in the matter of ten minutes than he’d ever known her at all.

And she knew that he dressed to the right, his cock tucked into his briefs. Hermione hated it. 

Sure, she’d thought about his cock once… or twice. And perhaps she’d fantasized a bit before about touching it, or licking it even. Never - ever - had she imagined she’d feel it sitting on her thigh, soft and almost nonexistent until she paid it attention. 

Then upon giving it said attention, a shock went through her body and zapped the exact problem area. She felt his cock twitch inside of the tight trousers she had on. It felt… horny. Like… really horny. And Hermione hated it. 

And it’s like Draco knew because his eyes were glued on her camping in his skin. Her own eyes in her home body were glaring at her in the way Draco often did, dark and hateful. 

Draco couldn’t know that his cock was literally hardening as she sat here? As she did nothing to egg it on? That all she did was notice it was there, and suddenly, the front of his slacks were feeling tighter and tighter, somehow even more uncomfortable than they were before. 

Harry was called up with Hannah, both of them sharing unsure glances at each other before they toasted with wry smiles, eating the gummies in a hurry. Hermione tried to forget all about trousers and briefs and cock but the heat in her pants was only growing. It felt like once it had begun, it wouldn’t go away. Like maybe now she was stuck with it. Merlin, she could not be stuck with it!

What happens when she needs to stand? Or… talk to anyone? Or… oh gods - how was she going to piss?

Draco had drank plenty of jungle juice before the switch and she could tell. A familiar ache in her body knew that she’d need a toilet soon but she absolutely, desperately did not want to. 

In front of her, Harry claimed to feel nothing. And Hannah agreed, letting out a relieved breath. 

“None of them do nothing, don’t feel too relaxed. It may just… sneak up on you.” George told them, a playful smirk at his lips. He looked over the crowd, at the damage they’d caused so far. His eyes landed on Draco in Hermione’s body. “Feeling girly, Malfoy?”

”Shut the fuck up, Weasley.” Came from Hermione’s mouth, sounding much more Malfoyish than she ever could naturally.

Fred and George laughed together, proud of what they’ve done. 

“Lastly, we, ourselves, shall go.” Fred announced. 

“We saved the best for last, of course.” George added on.

Seamus meowed in protest, “You mean to say you two know what you’re gettin’ into? That’s not meow - I mean, fair!” 

The group laughed at Seamus then, and suddenly, from Harry erupted a loud, penetrating alarm. The people surrounding him flinched, Ginny letting out a deep sound of surprise. Harry’s eyes opened wide and tried to laugh again, suddenly sounding like a muggle car that had been broken into.

He looked over at Hannah who then tried to laugh herself, trumpet noises sounding unnaturally from her mouth. The party laughed along with her joyful music and Harry’s alarm.

In the midst of the hilarity, Fred and George were suddenly very, very tiny. Like, the size of Hermione’s juice cup - tiny. Gasps came from drunken guests and the high pitched voices of tiny George and tiny Fred laughed and hollered from their tiny positions and Hermione couldn’t help but laugh out loud, hearing the sound of Malfoy’s glee instead of her own.

She heard herself laugh, too, a few people down where Draco sat with his legs pressed tightly together to stop from revealing any more of Hermione’s garments (thank Merlin).

“Malfoy.” Hermione stomped her way over to the git in her body. Stomping was more… enjoyable in expensive, snakeskin shoes. No wonder Draco did it so often. 

Hermione’s dress had swirled when Draco turned to face her, crossing his arms over her chest once more. “Yes, Granger? I beg you to be careful in my clothes, they shall not even have a drop of juice on them in the morning or else.” 

“Whatever,” Hermione dismissed, waving her hand. “I have to… use the restroom.” 

“Okay.” Draco said, “And?”

”And?” Hermione screeched. “And I’m in your body!”

”I think I’m aware of that, Granger.” He paused, holding his hand to his stomach. “Gods, don’t you ever eat? Your stomach feels insanely diminished.”

Hermione huffed, “I eat plenty. If I wake up tomorrow sick and bloated, I will hex you.”

”Fine, I won’t eat. But you won’t spill anything on my new shirt, either.”

”Fine.” Hermione agreed, her teeth clenched. (Malfoy’s teeth? Merlin, this is fucked) She glared at him, “Now. I really must use the restroom.”

”Right. And that’s my issue, how?”

Hermione cocked her hip to the side, placing her hands on her waist again, feeling the leather of Draco’s belt. There were no love handles to grip and she surely looked silly standing like such in a male’s slender build. “It’s your issue because -“ she stopped, thinning her lips. Then Hermione dropped her voice low, sounding dark like Draco’s usual tone. “I don’t know how to work your… thing.”

Then, Draco laughed in Hermione’s usual tone. It was… giddy and amused. While Hermione stood severely aggravated. “My thing? Granger, we’re not third years. It’s my cock.” 

“Malfoy! This is not a laughing matter. You’ve drank at least four jungle juices and I need to go!”

”Then by all means, Granger, go.” Draco replied sassily, a smirk playing on Hermione’s face. It felt Malfoyish while still being Hermioneish and it was… weird. 

Hermione crossed her arms then, glaring right back at him. “I don't know how.”

”What do you mean you don't know how? It’s mighty self explanatory.”

”It is not!” 

“Is so.”

”There’s no rule book!” 

“Cocks don't come with a bloody rule book, Granger.”

”Then tell me how to use it!” 

Hermione watched Draco smirk at her again, using her own mouth against her. “Oh, you can use it alright. I give you full permission. As long as I get a free touch, of course.” And suddenly, his hands were reaching up to the breasts on his body that weren't his.

Hermione gasped, “Don’t you dare, Malfoy.”

”Don’t do what, Granger?” He asked, his hands getting dangerously close to her bosom. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?” 

She stomped. His expensive footwear clanked against the hardwood floors and she didn’t even care if it caught any one else’s attention. 

“Do not stomp in my shoes.” Draco said, squinting his eyes before a final smirk appeared and he fully groped himself (her?)

”Malfoy!” Hermione screeched, but it was much less threatening in Draco’s low bass tone. She reached out and took his hands off of her chest, looking around to see if anyone was watching. 

Fortunately, everyone was much too busy with their own ailments to pay attention to the body swapped duo. She held onto her own wrist, pulling Draco quickly along towards the direction of the restroom.

”Off for a gender bender snog, are we?” Draco asked intolerably.

”Shut up, Malfoy.”

”Make me.”

”You’re insufferable.”

”And your bosom feels fantastic bouncing on my chest.”

”I hate you.”

”I know.” He was smirking arrogantly and Hermione stopped outside of the restroom door. 

She turned to look at him, trying to forget that he could most definitely feel every jiggle of her breasts, every rush of air on her legs, and perhaps even the thump of her cunt when he touched her breasts. 

“I’m going to pee. Tell me how.”

”Merlin,” Draco groaned out, exasperated and exhausted. “Just whip it out and aim. It’s really not that fucking hard, Granger.” But he stopped, smirking at her again. “Unless you want it to be?”

”Stop being vulgar!” She hissed, shaking her head at him. “I don’t want to… touch it.”

”Offense taken.”

”Shut up, Malfoy.” Hermione insisted, crossing her arms once more. ”It’s yours. Not mine.”

”Okay, so what? Do you want me to go in there to hold my cock for you? So you can piss? Then what? You’ll hold my dress while I do?”

Hermione shuddered at the idea of Draco using the toilet in her body. Would he be a creep about it?

Likely. 

“No.” Hermione said with annoyance.

”Then I’ll stay right here for… I don’t know, moral support?” He suggested off handedly, as if he really, really couldn’t care any less.

”Please.” Hermione said with a firm nod. Draco rose one of her thinly plucked eyebrows. She hurried out, “Just in case I have any… questions.”

”Questions about my cock?”

”Questions about how to work it!” She explained with vigor. 

Draco smirked again, shrugging his now dainty shoulders. “Just don’t fondle my balls and I think you’ll be fine, Granger." 

Hermione blushed deeply, realizing for the first time that she most definitely had a set of ballocks in her trousers and that thought almost had her feeling faint. Merlin, what had the twins done to her?? She could simply never forgive them.

At her flush of color, Draco let out a loud laugh that sounded girly and somehow… flirty. “Go, Granger, before you piss my trousers.” 

She glared intensely at him for a few moments before she finally took a long breath in. “Fine. Wish me luck.”

Draco rolled his eyes, looking awfully Hermione-ish and ushered Hermione to go in. Hermione rose her hand stiffly to grab the handle. 

“Stay here.” She demanded before she tore open the door and pushed her way in. The bathroom was clean and smelled of pine cones, quite small but she supposed it was only for the twins. Hermione stopped as she saw the mirror. It was her but… Draco Malfoy. 

For the first time she realized that she could look for as long as she wanted to - without being caught. So… she did. She stared at herself in his body. She looked at the way his shirt clung tightly against his chest. Her fingers traced the belt around his waist. She admired the clearness of his skin, ran a timid hand through his soft hair, hoping that he wouldn’t notice the slight difference in the style when she left the toilet. 

After the initial shock of Draco looking back at her, she gave a final once over before turning to face the toilet. Now… she had to finally just do it. 

“You’ve got this, Granger.” Hermione startled at the sound of her own voice coming in through the door. “Don’t be scared of it, it’s just a cock!” 

Exactly, Hermione thought to herself, that’s exactly why it’s scary!

She gulped, feeling Draco’s adams apple bob in her throat as she did. So many sensations she never thought she’d feel. She reached forward to take the toilet seat, pushing it up to reveal the part of the toilet she never bothered looking at unless she was cleaning at home. 

From her stance, the toilet seemed so far away. 

The twinge of needing to piss and needing to piss now shocked her body again and she rushed to her belt buckle, finally trying to tear it open. The metal clanking was almost sinful as she closed her eyes with nerves. “Come on,” she mumbled to herself as she bounced on her heels. 

Finally, her belt came loose and she thumbed at the trouser button until it popped and she pushed the zipper down. She kept her eyes squeezed shut as she debated how this next part should go. She could… push the trousers down to her ankles. She could… push it just down to her thighs? She could… simply pull the penis from Draco’s briefs and - Merlin, she really had to piss!

She finally tore her eyes open and looked down at her crotch, her fingers trembling slightly as she decided to finally just reach into the briefs on Draco’s lower half. She felt it.. his cock. Gods, she could not believe she was doing this. 

“I don’t hear anything, Granger.” Draco said in Hermione’s voice again. “You’re not wanking in there, are you?”

”Shut up, Malfoy!” She called back and finally just took it out. 

She looked at it in her hands. It was… flaccid, limp in her palm and she could feel his balls against the briefs. Suddenly, the air around her felt cold on the penis and she shuddered. 

She could do this.

It was just a penis. 

She could do this. 

So… she aimed. And she squeezed her eyes shut to focus on the feeling of needing to piss so desperately that it was not coming on its on. A few seconds passed and finally, she was pissing. 

Hermione opened her eyes to make sure she was making it into the toilet bowl and watched in awe as she, for the first time ever, peed standing up. 

And it was kind of… liberating. And unfortunately, a little sexy knowing that it was Draco Malfoy’s cock in between her fingers. 

“That-a-girl,” Draco said through the door. 

Hermione blushed knowing Draco could hear her (even though this was his penis and technically his piss) and gave him a harsh ‘Shhh!’ As she focused her stream on the exact middle of the toilet. 

“Feeling better?” Draco asked condescendingly when she exited the bathroom.

”Much.” She replied flatly. 

He smirked through her and Hermione saw a flash of amusement in her own eyes. “My turn.” 

Hermione felt herself go stone cold then, squinting naturally at him. “Do not do anything inappropriate in there.” She insisted.

”Me? Inappropriate? Never.” He replied swiftly, teasingly. Then, he disappeared behind the door and Hermione suddenly shifted, feeling her new penis uncomfortably twisted inside her trousers. She pulled at her crotch, trying to adjust from the outside when Ginny suddenly rounded the corner. 

Ginny’s deep laugh sounded instantly, “Gettin’ stiff, Hermione?” She asked with far too much entertainment.

”Sod off, Gin.” Hermione insisted, “You try keeping this thing between your legs.” 

“Gladly,” Ginny replied with a menacing tone. She pranced towards Hermione and lowered her voice, the new bass in it buzzing through Hermione’s new pureblood ears. “So… what’s his size?”

”Ginny.” Hermione warned.

”Above average.” Draco said through the door and Ginny let out a surprised sound, eyes wide at Hermione. Then, her eyes drifted down to Draco’s dick that Hermione was (not so) proudly sporting underneath the tight trousers. 

Hermione shifted again, feeling the length of Draco’s cock against the seam of the trousers, an unforgiving ache swelling down there. As if confirmation of Draco’s comment, Hermione moved to adjust the length and Ginny giggled deeply. 

Suddenly, the door opened and Draco appeared next to them. His dress seemed untouched and unscathed which made Hermione feel a little confident that he didn’t just feel her body up while in there. Something he  still definitely could have done without her knowledge. 

“Above average, eh?” Ginny asked with a snicker still on her lips. 

Draco smirked at her with Hermione’s mouth and Hermione rolled Draco’s eyes.

”This is weird.” Harry stated.

“Yeah. Too weird.” Ron agreed.

”Did you lads know that Malfoy is above average?” Ginny asked with a smirk, causing both boys to groan, recoiling away from that information. 

Hermione blushed in Draco’s skin and pouted. She hated being Draco. Like, seriously.  

“Gin, don’t ever tell us about Malfoy’s anything!” Harry hissed.

Ron seemed thoroughly disgusted with the new topic, “And how the hell do you know?”

”Hermione’s the one with it in her trousers, not me!” Ginny retorted with a drunken deep giggle. 

“We don't want to think about that, either!” Harry insisted, a grimace on his face. “Hermione, surely you're upset that he's in your body. A bloody Slytherin prick is currently shaking your arse at Nott!” 

Hermione swiftly turned to see what Harry was glaring at and sure enough, Draco was moving her arse very inappropriately towards Theodore Nott, who barked at him joyfully across the room. 

She audibly gasped, “Malfoy!” 

He looked at her innocently, rising into a stance once more. “What? Gryffindors can have fun, too.” He said in his best Hermione impression. Hermione, in Draco’s flesh, was furious. 

She felt fire in her bones as she handed her drink to Ginny before stomping her way towards him. “As it seems, our situation is ridiculous and I think we need to establish some rules. First rule - do not shake my arse!”

That made Theo Nott bark another laugh and Draco snickered in front of her. “Oh? And what’s rule number two, Granger?”

”Rule two,” Hermione grit out through her teeth. “Is that youre not allowed to touch any of my body parts.” 

But Draco just gave a hearty shrug. “I already did. And I peeked down your cleavage in the restroom as well.”

”Malfoy!” Hermione crossed her arms.

He gave her a smug smirk that looked unfamiliar on her own face. “You took a piss with my junk.”

”I had to!”

”And I had to see your chest!” 

“You did not!”

”I rather think he did,” Theo decided to chip in and she gave him an instant death glare, wondering only for a second if she resembled the real Draco Malfoy. Theo seemed unphased either way. “I’m going to fetch another drink. How about you two… bang it out? You know, a classic gender fender frolic in the sheets?”

Hermione gasped (it sounded like Draco) and Draco gasped (sounding like Hermione)

”Absolutely not!” Hermione shrieked while Draco argued,

”Comepltely unnecessary suggestion, Nott.”

”Just saying…” Theo said in a sing-songy tone as he passed through the middle of them. Hermione smelled his cologne as he went, then he was gone and it was simply Draco and Hermione in each other’s bodies, glaring at each other once more. 

She huffed, tapping her toes against the hardwood floors. “Rule three,” she started with a flare of her nostrils, “You’re absolutely not allowed to have sex in my body.”

Draco scoffed, “You’re kidding, Granger. The one time I’m graciously given a woman’s body and I’m not allowed to use it?”

Hermione hesitated because honestly, she thought he would've been in full agreement. That no, Draco Malfoy would never ever want to follow someone into the bedroom under the guise of a muggleborn female. But here he was… disappointed. 

“How about with myself?” With that, he raised two fingers and wiggled them.

Hermione glared hard, frowned harder and shook her head. “No, Malfoy.”

”Well you’re no fun.” Draco told her, dropping his hand with an eye roll. “It’s your first time with a cock and you don’t wish to use it? At least a little?” 

And she most definitely did not. “No!” She hissed. “I was terrified to use the toilet! Let alone manhandle it and especially not feel it… you know!”

”Cum? You don’t want to feel my cock cum, Granger?” 

Hermione blushed furiously and she knew it had to be obvious on Draco’s alabaster skin. He watched her flush with her own eyes and smirked knowingly with her own mouth. 

“You do.” He accused Hermione with a teasing tone. “You do want to know how it feels.”

”Absolutely not.” She argued immediately. “I simply want to pretend it doesn’t exist whatsoever!”

Draco looked her up and down, then down and up, and settled with crossing his arms over her chest. “I’ll allow you to do whatever you may like with my body tonight. Touch it… ignore it… bruise it. Dealer’s choice.”

Hermione hated the way her brain worked. While her entire nervous system screamed to run away, ignore the penis, forget it all; her brain was furiously curious. It wanted to know the feelings. She wanted to know the process. And he knew that she wanted to know. Because Hermione Granger always wanted to know everything. 

And he wanted to know, too. He was just as curious as her (more so, likely) His reasons were more perverted than scientific she reckoned, but curious was curious all the same. In her silence, Draco realized that she might be actually considering a change of rules. His eyes began to widen as Hermione’s silence persisted.

She thinned her lips and shook her head softly. “No.”

”Granger,” Draco groaned out, tossing his head back in frustration. “This is a once in a lifetime opportunity!”

”It truly is,” Theo Nott appeared next to them once more, a full drink in his hand. He continued, “Think about it this way, Granger. You could continue to be frustrated that the twins have locked you in a prick’s body-“

”Nott.” Draco warned, but Theo ignored him.

”Or you could simply choose to see it as… an experiment, you know? A lab test, even. You’re the mad alchemist who’s sacrificed your own comfort for the sake of learning. And dear, I know that you love learning.”

Draco remained silent then and Hermione wanted to argue. She wanted to stomp her foot, tell him off, call them both wankers and run to the safety of the guest bedroom to wait out this hellish nightmare. 

Instead of any of that, she was afraid that she agreed. And Theo could tell by the look in her eyes that she did. 

So he smiled, and Draco grinned. Hermione huffed out a quick and frustrated, “Fine. You wankers win. But anything that shall happen tonight is purely for science.”

”Science?” Theo asked with a curious tone.

“Indeed.” Draco snarked, “All for science, Granger.”

”Oh, whatever, Malfoy. You don’t even know what science is.” Hermione huffed, crossing her arms. She was beyond upset at herself for being curious and she was right pissed at the two Slytherin boys for being right. She truly did have only tonight to explore an avenue of life she’d never had the chance to before. Never in her years had she ever even thought to be curious about the male orgasm - until now. 

And damn it, she was downright drenched in delicious curiosity. 

“I know plenty about science,” Draco argued irritably. “The moon… gravity… and other things.” 

Hermione rolled her eyes, almost regretting the choice instantly. She took a quick survey of the room, assessing the situation they had left. The twins were being held in the hand of Seamus Finnegan as Dean drunkenly threatened to flick one of them, the size of his finger almost identical their size.

Next to them, Harry and Ginny stood close as they whispered to each other. Hermione assumed it was nothing PG by the look on Harry’s face. Hermione then saw Ron sneaking another bottle of rum into the punch, snickering softly to himself as he did. 

In front of her, Draco Malfoy surveyed her. Next to him, Theo sipped his drink with a smug look, engrossed, as if she and Draco were his favorite soap opera. Which, they possibly could be.

”You’ll wank then?” Draco asked crudely, “For science?”

Hermione glared, putting on her best Malfoy Glare™, “If I’m conducting research, Malfoy, I’m conducting it thoroughly.” 

Both Theo and Draco stared at her for a few silent seconds, perhaps wondering if she meant what she meant. And she, in fact, did.

”You mean…” Draco started slowly.

”Sex. We will have sex. For science.” Hermione stated, making sure her tone was even and controlled. Even when every bone in her body was terrified and every nerve under her skin was unsure, she gave her own smug smirk of false confidence. 

Both boys remained stunned and silent. Hermione considered it a small win for herself in the grand scheme of things. She could make Draco Malfoy go silent? She must be a winner, then.

”Oh,” Theo finally broke the silence with a broken sound. “Oh, mate. She’s serious.” He said, turning to Draco.

Draco stood still, eyes fixated on Hermione’s (technically, his own but… you get the gist) Finally, he broke into the tiniest of smirks. “Alright. We will have sex. For science.”

Theo hummed, mumbling mostly to himself, “What a turn of events.” 

“Right then,” Hermione said strictly. “The twins have a guest bedroom. Just down the hall from the loo. You first, I’ll follow. I’ve got to get a bit more alcohol in me for this one.”

Draco scoffed, “Careful. You don’t want to be a sloppy shag.”

Hermione squinted at him, “Well, technically speaking, this will be my first time. Consider it already sloppy. Meet me there in ten.”

He flicked an interested eyebrow at her and Theo began snickering immeidately as Hermione turned to begin her way to the punch that Ron had just drowned with rum.

”Hermione,” Ron saw her coming, “Er… Hermione in Malfoy’s body!”

”Just Hermione is fine, thank you, Ronald.” Hermione rolled her eyes, knowing all too well that she looked like Malfoy, sounded like Malfoy and possibly just now acted like him.

”Taste this,” He gave her an already filled cup of the punch. “I think I added too much rum.”

”You did.” Hermione agreed before she even took a drink. She brought it up to her lips anyway, taking a large gulp. She grimaced, forcing it down her throat and let out a cough of surprise as it settled with heat in her stomach. “Gods, right. Way too much rum.” 

“Perfect,” Ron said with a large grin. “Just as I like it. Keep the drink, you look like you need it.”

”You don’t even know the half of it,” Hermione grumbled, taking another large and hesitant sip. Ron turned to fill another glass for himself, likely too involved in his own scheme to wonder what that might mean below the surface. 

He then looked back at her, “‘Least you don’t have to look at yourself naked.” and then he realized something, “But he can see you naked.”

Hermione grimaced once more, knowing all too well that he most definitely had already looked. She regretfully took another drink, hoping to be inebriated enough to have sex with Malfoy, who was in her body, so technically - was she having sex with herself?

Gods, what was she doing?

She turned, eyeing where she’d stood when she’d agreed to this horrid plan. Theo and Draco were talking to one another right before Theo gave a slap to his arm, which was her arm, and Draco began a slow stroll towards the bedroom. 

Great Gatsby, she was really doing this! 

Turning back to Ron, she thin lipped a smile towards him. “Let’s hope not.” Another swig, another grimace, and she gave the empty glass to him. “I’ve got to go vomit at the idea of it.”

”Me too,” Ron replied with his own scarred face, “That’s a right gods awful thought.”

”It is, isn’t it?” Hermione replied stiffly, knowing that whatever she was about to do was much, much worse. “I’m off to the loo. The rum went straight through me.”

”It’s known to do that,” Ron agreed with a giddy giggle, forgetting Immediately about the thought of Draco Malfoy seeing Hermione’s private areas (thank Merlin)

With that, Hermione turned around to begin her way towards the bedroom for her lab. Her experiment. Her study. Her… shag. She was about to shag Malfoy under the idea of it being a research project. And it was, since she was terribly curious about the male anatomy - but at a very base level, they were going to shag.

Theo caught her eyes immediately and his smirk was awfully large and extremely knowing. He knew they were going to shag, and he knew that it had been entirely her idea. Had she not suggested that, she’d maybe have given permission for Malfoy to run to the bathroom to finger himself to oblivion. Perhaps he would have jumped in the shower and used the faucet to bring him to a fully female finish. Maybe he would've even begged her to let him find a man to fill his holes at a random pub at this hour!

Instead, she was going to shag him. She was going to put the penis she wore currently inside of her own cunt that he was wearing. 

This was so entirely unnatural. 

And Theo covered his excited grin with a hand as Hermione passed him without a single word, trying to come off as nonchalant as she turned the corner into the hallway.

Her footsteps were heavy but quiet on the carpeted floor. Her breath was shallow and her heart rate was picking up. 

This felt exactly like losing her virginity all over again. As if the first time wasn’t emotionally traumatic enough.

Hermione reached the door and tried to decide quickly whether or not to just open it (it was her plan after all) or if she should knock like a lady… a gentleman? She sighed softly and decided to knock, tapping her larger knuckles against the wood softly, hoping no one down the hallway could hear the echoey noise. The last thing Hermione needed right now was someone coming to find out that Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger were totally about to shag! As each other! 

Merlin, this was a mess.

Draco opened the door softly and Hermione stared at her own body before her. It looked different than what she was used to in mirrors and photos. Her body was slimmer than she thought, her hair was crazier than she thought, and damn, she could really see the curves of her breasts from this angle - damn your height, Draco Malfoy.

“Come in, sir.” Draco purred and Hermione groaned, pushing her way into the room. 

Draco snickered as he shut the door. “What? You won’t be a sir tonight, Granger?”

”This is scientific, Malfoy. It’s not a joke!”

”Of course it’s a joke,” Draco insisted, stepping closer. “We are literally in each other’s bodies. You are currently wearing my cock! What’s not a joke about this situation?” 

Hermione glared but Draco only stepped closer. 

”Let thy research begin,” he said softly, taking a sudden plunge to kiss her. 

Officially, she was kissing herself.

And then Draco was tonguing himself.

She couldn't even help the whimper that sounded deep in her throat, a darkly low pitch that she wondered might often come from Draco when he’s snogging someone. His hands reached out to roam over her chest, freshly manicured fingernails tracing a line down the polka dot shirt.

Hermione realized very quickly that men’s hormones were exceptionally different. She felt an immediate and intense rush of heat down to the cock that was stuffed tightly inside of Draco’s trailered trousers. Then, she felt it harden. Draco’s nails made a soft clack against the buttons and it sent another shock wave down her torso, straight into her cock.

Draco’s mouth drowned out the repeated whimper. Suddenly, the trousers were far too tight as she could feel pressure against them. The pressure felt intense and suffocating - it ached but it felt good. 

Is that why Draco wore such tight trousers all of the time? 

Their lips parted as Hermione debated on her next move. Perhaps she would just let Draco take the ropes and lead her along. Without opening his eyes, his lips began trailing down Hermione’s newly chiseled jaw, dropping her head back as she hooked her hands around her own body’s ribcage, pulling the warmth of Draco closer. 

Hermione’s already aching cock grinded against Draco then. The feeling of their warm pressure together and the nip of Draco’s teeth on her neck caused a deep, guttural groan from her to slip out. 

He laughed with hot breath against her neck and she shuddered underneath him. “So many new sensations, eh?” He whispered near her ear. The sound was soft and alluring, causing a whole new rush of heat to find her cock and she wondered just how much harder it could get? 

“Yes.” Hermione agreed, her voice half of what it was before. “All good for… research.” 

Draco pulled back to look at her, “I don’t actually know plenty about science.” He admitted.

Hermione rolled her eyes, “I know.” And decided right then and there to grab Draco’s face, pulling him back into a deep snog that rocked her to the core once again. This time, her hips rocked into the heat and she felt the pressure of a body against her cock and she was suddenly obsessed. 

Letting her cock lead her, she turned Draco and pushed him against the wall, stumbling only a step to get there. Draco’s back hit with a thud, Hermione’s cock pushing into his body. She huffed out another airy noise, Draco letting a soft grunt out as well, head dropping back onto the wall with another quiet thud. 

“Merlin, Granger.” He smirked lazily. “Putting my biceps to work, I see.”

”Shut up if you want this to go on.” Hermione snapped at him, dropping her lips to kiss his chin, down his neck which tasted vaguely of the lotion she knew she’d put on after her shower earlier. At least Hermione knew now that she smelled and tasted good. 

His arms were rising to pull her closer and Hermione couldn’t even hold it back when her hips rolled into his body once more. Her cock was hard and achy and she needed to let it out of these trousers very soon or else she might go mad.  

“Excited, are we?” Draco asked with a teasing tone. Suddenly, his hand dropped between them and he didn’t even hesitate before grabbing at his cock on Hermione’s body. 

With a surprised grunt, squeezed eyes and stiff cock, Hermione realized that this was mighty dangerous because Draco knew exactly what to do with his own body to make him feel good, which would now make her feel very, very good. 

But then she couldn’t help the tiny quirk of her lips at the realization that she knew her body just as well. Where to touch to make Draco gasp, where to kiss to make him moan. 

And then, the experiment was on. 

Hermione bucked unwillingly into his hand, loving the way the pressure both ached horribly and felt fantastic. She needed him to grip harder, tighter - and then he squeezed. She groaned out, her hands instinctively going for the chest of the body against her. 

She remembered very quickly that it was her own and now, she was copping a feel of her own bosom. Draco hummed at the touch, pushing his new breasts against her palms. 

This was so, so weird. 

Draco squeezed her boner again. She squeezed Draco’s rack with equal vigor. And while Hermione acknowledged the weirdness of it, she also definitely came to terms with the fact that it felt so fucking good. 

Plus, it was for science purposes only. 

And well, her own damn curiosity if she were being honest.

”These pants are so tight,” Hermione told him with a weak voice, giving into the want and need coming from her groin. She needed more than this, and she needed it now. ”What is wrong with you?”

Draco squeezed tightly at her cock once more and she sighed out, whining as she rocked into the pleasure. “The witches love my tight trousers.” He explained, his voice airy, girly, and nowhere near his natural state. 

“Well, they’re too tight.” She argued strictly, finally moving to begin unbuckling the belt that Draco had matched with his shoes. “They’re coming off.”

”Be my guest, Granger.” He said with a purr of excitement, backing up only slightly to watch her dance with the buckle, her long and bony fingers unfamiliar and strange. Finally, it came free and Hermione wasted no time in taking apart the button of the trousers, releasing the zipper and let out a long, drawn out sigh of relief. 

Draco scoffed, “They are not that tight. You’re being quite dramatic.”

”I am not,” Hermione protested. “I felt like I was going to rip through them if you kept at it.”

”Is that so?” Draco asked with an interested raise of his eyebrows. “Then by all means, Granger, take ‘em off.”

And Hermione did. Gladly. She pushed them far down her legs, kicking off Draco’s dress shoes in the process. 

“I just shined those.” He snapped. And truth be told, he sounded a lot less intimidating with Hermione’s voice. So she just snickered and continued on, twisting her ankles and feet from the soft fabric. Now, she stood in her pants and a buttoned shirt. 

Which felt silly. 

And Draco eyed the shirt, too, fully aware that it was indeed silly. 

So Hermione rolled her eyes and began fidgeting with the buttons, twisting until they were all let loose. Draco watched, his expression blank and Hermione wondered what he was thinking.

Perhaps he was judging her for the way she was taking off his shirt? Would he have done it differently? Was he judging his own body, the way his biceps felt tight against the sleeves? 

She released the last one and softly shrugged the fabric off of her shoulders, pulling the sleeves softly off of her body. Draco then reached out his hand, offering to take the shirt. 

“If you put that shirt on the ground, I will tell everyone you know that we shagged.”

Hermione huffed, handing him the shirt. “Prat.” 

He ignored her, focusing entirely on the process of semi neatly folding the shirt, then turned towards a dresser beside them and laid it on top for later. “Now,” he stated, turning back to her. “My turn.”

With that, he moved to taking off her dress, taking his time with making sure it went exactly as he wanted it to. He shifted his hands around the hem, finding the best way to do so. 

Hermione rolled her eyes, “Cross your arms and pull.”

Draco eyed her, then thought about it. He followed her direction and once his head reappeared, he had a large and pleased smirk on his face, immediately looking down to survey the chest he was researching. “Nice set, Granger.”

”Shut up, Malfoy.” She snarled, reaching for him. They kissed again, their lips smacked loudly in the silence of the room. Hermione could hear laughter and commotion from the main room and she wondered if anyone noticed the two that had switched bodies were gone? And how suspicious did that look to the avenger partygoer? Would Theo tell the truth to anyone who asked?

Hermione would murder him if he did. 

Her worries drifted away the instant that Draco’s hand was on her cock again, this time through only the thin layer of briefs that Draco had put on this morning. And she knew that he knew exactly what he was doing to her. 

She parted to pant out a needy, “Gods,” before pulling Draco backwards, finding the bed with the back of his knees and dropping down into a seat. Draco understood the prompt and (excitedly?) climbed into Hermione’s lap, letting each knee slide onto either side of her thighs. Bare skin touched bare skin as Hermione pulled Draco’s head down to snog with open, desperate mouths.

Hermione felt her cock twitching with aching desire agaisnt the feeling of her own cunt, controlled by Draco fucking Malfoy. And soon, she was about to be fucking Draco Malfoy. 

Merlin. 

Suddenly, Draco rolled his hips down, dragging the fabric between them roughly against her cock and she hissed, grabbing at Draco’s hips. She lifted into the movement, feeling a warm, now slightly moist pressure between them. It was intoxicating. She wanted to bury her stiffened cock right into the warmest, softest, wettest place she could find.

Which was… so close. Hermione panted, her cock twitching against him desperately. “I won’t lie, this is hot as hell,” Draco suddenly said, a raspiness present in his voice. He leaned his head back, letting his hips roll obscenely, purposely grinding roughly against her. 

Hermione hummed in response, closing her eyes to focus on the touch, the movement, the pressure. It was, unfortunately, hot as hell. 

Draco gave another deep grind on her cock and Hermione groaned, grasping tightly at his hips. She didn’t know much, but she knew she needed to fuck him. She shifted their bodies, noticing how light Draco felt in her body, and just how strong she felt in his.

She moved him effortlessly into the bed, flipping to crawl right on top of him. She locked their hips together, taking her turn to grind into him. Draco released a gasp to the air between them and Hermione felt her cock jolt at the sound. She needed warmth now. She needed more than friction.

Hermione swiftly dove her hands towards the panties she’d chosen that day, took a hold of her own underwear and tore them down her shaven legs. It was weird… but strangely hot, as well. The air against him made Draco hiss above her, suddenly exposed to Hermione underneath the velvet fabric.

Here, she was experienced. Hermione glanced up to meet Draco’s eyes the moment she reached out and timidly ran an experimental finger along his cunt. His eyes fluttered shut and he dropped his head back, “Merlin,” he whispered. “Keep going.”

Hermione took that encouragement and ran. Or… fingered. 

She pushed a first in, bringing a long whine from Draco. His body stilled at the new sensation and Hermione paused to a moment to let him. Then, she slowly dragged it out, just to push it back in. 

“Oh-“ Draco grunted softly, “That’s- gods, do it again.”

She smirked as she did so, creating a steady rhythm for him to join along in. His hips began meeting her finger and she encouraged him with adding another finger. 

“Granger,” Draco drawled out with need. “That’s incredible.”

Hermione couldn’t even help but laugh softly. His reaction was… endearing? Innocent? Kind of cute? 

She adjusted the position of her hand to allow her thumb to begin circling the clit. Draco jerked, his cunt rocking aggressively against her hand. 

“Oh, Merlin, Granger- that’s… yes.” 

She was focused on presenting the feelings to him with her expertise in the matter. Here, she already knew all the facts. She knew the outcome, the pleasure. The slick of his cunt made the area more tender and Draco let out a loud pant, gasping for a quick refill of oxygen as she began to swirl her thumb, pushing her fingers right back in.

Draco was grabbing his own breasts (hers) and his face screwed up tightly. His eyes were shut, lost in the feeling of being finger fucked by long, skinny digits that she knew had been washed relatively recently (thank Merlin)

The sounds he made reminded Hermione that she had a cock and it was desperate. She allowed herself to palm her cock through the briefs. Her hand pressure felt incredible, her fingers cupping around her length as she bit her lip. 

“I need to fuck you.” She finally said, clear desire dripping through her words. “It aches, Draco.”

His eyes opened and he nodded eagerly, “I’m sure it does. My cock is very impatient when there’s a wet cunt in the vicinity.” 

Hermione snorted, finally feeling free enough to admit to herself that she was actually enjoying the whole experience. That she would have hated herself if she’d never taken the chance of fucking while in a male’s body. Even if the male in question was a prat like Draco Malfoy.

At least that prat Draco Malfoy had a cock that was impressively sized (and still growing, she thinks) with an insatiable need to fuck. 

After Draco’s enthusiastic agreement, Hermione sprang to take the briefs off of her body. The cock she’d met for the first time only an hour prior sprang out, stiff and twitching. Her eyes took it in, her hand reached out to grab it and she sighed out at the feeling of her skin on her cock. 

The feeling was… new and incredible. She pumped experimentally once, leaning her head back and gasping into the air. “Mhm,” she let out, twisting her wrist as she pumped again. “No wonder the male gender wanks all of the time. It aches so bad, but feels so good.” She explained out loud.

She heard an amused laugh come from Draco and she opened her eyes, pumping the cock between her legs again because she could. Draco let his fingers move down his body, reach between his thighs and slide a finger through his slick and onto his clit where he circled and rubbed and let out an obscene whine that sounded nothing like Draco Malfoy. 

Hermione hated how hot everything was. It was hot that Draco was fingering himself in her body, it was sexy that she was wanking with his cock and hand, and it was entirely tempting to fuck the ever daylights out of him.  

She was ready. She needed it. She needed something more than just the rough palm of Draco Malfoy’s right hand. “Just fuck me already, Granger.” He told her with a whiny tone.

Moving quickly, Hermione stationed herself over Draco. He pulled his fingers out from his cunt and allowed Hermione to liner herself up, feeling her sensitive tip against the wet, slick of a cunt. She huffed out softly in preparation before she grasped herself, taking a few tries to successfully push her cock into him.

The feeling was everything. 

Warm. Tight. Wet. Everywhere. 

“Jesus,” Hermione let out, pushing further into him as he looked up at her, his lip caught tightly between his teeth as he discovered for the first time what it felt like to be filled. “This is… so weird.”

Her words said one thing, but her needy and raspy tone showcased something entirely different. Draco knew she was loving every second by the way her voice was deepening, the way her cock was somehow still feeling harder and harder. He knew she was loving it because he was loving it, too. 

“Science is weird.” Draco said, sounding short of breath already. He took matters into his own hands and rocked his hips to meet hers, shoving her cock deep into him. They both moaned out, quite possibly too loud. Neither of them had bothered with a silencing charm or locking the door which would both create very awkward scenarios if gone astray. 

She fucked into him again because now that they had begun, there was no way she could stop. The feeling of warmth started in her groan and began to spread like a wildfire. She felt her chest heat up in flames, her thighs began to sweat, and her arms began to ache from holding herself up.  

Despite all of that, she fucked into him again. 

And again. 

Over and over, she thrust into him. Each time, Draco let out a new noise. Whimpers, moans, grunts, soft ‘oh’s that made Hermione feel like she was hitting all of the correct spaces (she would know, of course.) Hermione closed her eyes, letting the feeling encapsulate her every fiber. 

Wet. Warm. Slick. Fuck.

The sound of Hermione’s new cock in Draco’s new pussy was suddenly everything. It was sexual music to Hermione’s ears. It made her chest heave, her back sweat and her knees weak. She fucked into him, growing harder and harder until she felt like she were about to explode. 

“Are you getting close, Granger?” Draco asked in a strained voice, pitchy and girly. Hermione groaned, her brain cells far too preoccupied to think of a response. Her head dipped into a nod, her breath hitching in her throat. ”I take precautions. You can finish inside.”

Hermione’s eyes opened to look into his. Her own golden irises stared back and Hermione determined once again that this was very, very strange. The eye contact paired with the deep warmth her cock was buried in was far too much together. Her hips stuttered and she breathed out harshly, pulling her cock out before she 100% did explode.  

“I said you can finish-“

”I know.” Hermione bit out harshly. “I’m too-  you haven’t finished.” 

Draco stared at her, jaw slack as he breathed heavily. Hermione witnessed her own chest fishing and falling, her cock feeling cold agasint the air as she stared back down at him. 

”How gentlemanly, Granger.” Draco finally said back, his voice low and sultry. Hermione was not sure she’d ever heard her own voice quite like that. “What’re you going to do about that?”

And… Hermione hadn’t thought that far. In fact, she found that she could barely think at all. And in that case, she found herself lowering down, down, down until her tongue came into rough contact with her own cunt. Never in her life had she thought she would ever eat pussy but here she is… eating her own… what the fuck?

Draco let out an obsence groan..  or yelp… or hiccup. Hermione felt a strike of pain that ran down to her cock as he gripped her hair, yanking it tightly into his fist. “Granger- fuck, no warning?”

As a response, Hermione licked further into his cunt, her nose rubbing against his clit as he squirmed. He mumbled something incoherent but Hermione was far too focused on making him feel good in her skin to try and decipher his jargon. 

Soft, shaven thighs tightened around her head as she swirled the clit with the tip of her tongue. She knew exactly how to swirl, exactly when to lap at it, and exactly when to back away and lightly breathe hot air onto his exposed vulva. Draco whimpered, gasping for airflow but struggled as he grappled to pull Hermione’s mouth back for reconnection. 

Hermione obliged, shifting to push an experimental finger in his cunt while sucking on his clit, closing her eyes to focus deeply on the task at hand. She knew Draco was close when he fell silent, fingers twisting in her hair and squeezed his thighs together around her face.  

With a broken moan, Hermione felt him clench around her fingers and his body convulsed with an earth-shattering orgasm (she could tell because it was her orgasm) She felt her cock harden further, aching against the mattress. She pushed her hips down, feeling her face flush with the pressure against her cock. 

Draco came down from the orgasm with a breathy sigh, his eyes softly shut against his cheeks. Hermione didn’t stop there, however, and ran her hand up the torso she’d stared at, unhappily, far too many times in the mirror. And from this angle, she realized that she didn’t look near as bad as she thought.  A twinge of contentment seared through her and she noted that for later research. 

Research for when her mind was more… sober, and less… horny. She was so gods damned horny. 

With a grab of his chest, a squeeze of each tit, Hermione finally pushed her cock right back into Draco’s cunt. It was now soaking, the evidence of his orgasm making the journey to her own far shorter.

She groaned out, steadying herself in the warmth. Draco’s eyes were open once more, staring at her with a look she’d also have to decipher later. Wide eyes met each other’s as Hermione fucked into him again, incapable of holding in the impending moan. 

Hermione increased her pace, taking one of Draco’s legs and pulling up to create a new angle that she knew she always enjoyed. A sudden change flashed in Draco’s eyes at the first pump, suddenly reaching a new area of pleasure for him. His head dropped back into the pillow, his mouth fell open as he let out a long stream of curses. 

It was entirely too sexy to watch as Hermione drowned her cock into him. The pleasure built in her lower body, a strange new tightening around her groin. She felt like her cock was impossibly hard now, her heart was pumping out of her chest and she no longer cared how loud she… or Draco… or the bed was.

With only two more deep pumps, Hermione found herself groaning out, pushing herself as far as possible into Draco’s heat, releasing what felt like years of frustration. Her brain felt fried, her thighs ached and her eyes were squeezed shut, trying to reign her exploded mind back into her body.

As she felt her cock soften inside of Draco, what once was the world’s best feeling slowly became awkward and strange. Her eyes opened as she inched to remove her cock from him. Draco’s eyes were already wide and blown, looking at her with a truly unreadable gaze. 

She cleared her throat, freeing herself before slowly dropping down onto the bed. “Well,” she breathed out, begging her heart to return to normal levels. 

“Well.” Draco replied from bedside her, lying stiff as they both considered the reality of what’s next? Hermione felt suddenly very aware of what her male friends had dubbed ‘post nut clarity’. 

Because what the fuck had she done? 

“The future of gender studies will certainly thank us.” Hermione said, her voice low and unsure in the deafening silence of the room. She could hear the quiet thump of music just a few rooms over and a low rumble of chatter.

Hermione wondered just how loud they’d gotten? She’d lost herself somewhere in the middle there. 

Draco hummed in response. “We best be prepared for intensive questioning. Not only from our surefire fame for our research, but also Theodore Nott, who most certainly had been standing just outside the door the whole time.”

Hermione’s limp body moved into a seated position within milliseconds. “You’re fibbing.”

”Fibbing, Granger?” Draco asked with a side eye, but a small smirk toyed on his lips. “No, I’m not fibbing. You can see his damn feet under the door.”

She whipped her head to see, indeed, a pair of shoes outside the door. “For research purposes!” A sudden muffled voice came in through the door. “I wasn’t here the whole time, promise!”

Hermione gasped, a low sound out of Draco’s mouth. Draco snickered girlishly in hers. 

After clothes had been put on, awkward glances had been shared, and one giddy Theodore Nott had been reprimanded by Draco Malfoy in Hermione Granger’s body for eavesdropping on their research, they stood in a silent guest room with the crushing reality of their choices. 

Hermione had tried her best to fix her hair into the slick pristine-ness that was normally Draco’s hair but was failing considerably. As Draco had finished scolding Theo, (let him know how ‘disgustingly perverted’ his actions were) he’d come to do her hair, himself. 

And it was suddenly… weird. Draco stood before her, shorter than her for the very first time. He messed with her hair, running her fingers through it as she concentrated. Hermione studied her own face, seeing herself in such a strange new light.

Draco somehow brought out her confidence, he reminded her of her own playfulness. He showed her what she could look like to someone else in this intimate moment. 

Suddenly, he looked at her. She blinked, feeling the moment hesitate. “Er…thanks, Malfoy. I’m glad we did this.”

“Yeah,” Draco replied slowly. “It was… interesting.”

”Yes.” Hermione agreed far too quickly. She mentally kicked herself, feeling a blush start to creep in her cheeks. She realized that she could never stay as pale as Draco Malfoy, her skin might permanently burn from perpetual blushing. Especially around Draco - which never, ever should have been an issue. But now absolutely was. “Very interesting.” 

They stared at each other for another passing moment, then two before Hermione finally stepped away. “We may have to obliviate anyone who may have heard anything.” Draco said teasingly.

Hermione cracked a smile then, “Theo first.”

”Yes, Theo first.” 

-

 “So what I’m hearing is Hermione Granger fucked Draco Malfoy in Hermione Granger’s body while being Draco Malfoy?” Ginny asked, her head titled and eyes narrowed as she tried to process that sentence. 

Ron and Harry looked awkwardly between Hermione and Draco. Each of there eyes didn’t stay for long, quickly switching back and forth. “Still weird.” Ron said. Harry nodded from beside him, “Yeah. Really weird.”

Fred and George high fived, joyous smiles on their faces. Hermione rolled her eyes and Draco snorted. “We always knew that one day our games shall bring forth the magic that we’ve seen here tonight, folks.” George said with pride and Fred nodded vigorously, both tiny versions of themselves on the mantle of the fireplace. Fred added on, “Magic, George? Or was it science?” 

“I did not tell everyone, Draco!” Theo pleaded, the teasing grin on his face telling otherwise. “You should have known that the guest bedroom was not soundproof, and it’s your faults that you were too horned up by science to think straight. Everyone found out naturally, anyway, when you both disappeared for half an hour - just around the same times as we heard the beautiful sounds of a gender bender fuck!” 

“Malfoy,” Hermione found herself prompting right before Draco was about to take his leave. Draco stopped, looking up at her from his smaller height. “What does a blowjob feel like? For… research purposes.”