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Avery wasn't stupid, but he was a little dumb.
He stood in the middle of the tunnel that led to the first crossroads, book in hand, looking back and forth between the two directions. The book clearly said not to turn left, but...
“Which way is left again...?”
He held up his hands like he remembered seeing other people do to tell left from right, but when that didn’t work, he shrugged and walked down a random direction, which happened to be left. He only made it 3 steps in until-
“STOP!”
Avery turned around and saw some dude in gold armor running towards him. Avery took a step back as the guy halted in front of him, panting.
“Don’t turn LEFT, you idiot,” the guy yelled, grabbing Avery’s shoulders. “Are you deranged? Did you NOT read my warnings? WHY are you even DOWN HERE?”
“Ooohhhh, are you the one who wrote this freaky ass book?”
The guy blinked slowly at him. “...Yeah.”
“So what’s with the creepy ramblings,” Avery rocked back and forth on his heels in a carefree way that made Der want to strangle him. “Heyyyyy, how’d you even know I was down here anyway? What’s your name?”
Der stared at him, struggling to keep up with the slime’s train of thought. “Uh- Derlorde. I kinda know everything. Long story. So-”
“Didya ever see that creepy guy in the cave?”
“...what.”
“Well, I haven’t seen ‘em but I've heard footsteps so im assuming there’s a creepy guy because seriously who just follows someone in a cave without saying anything? I mean, you kinda did but you’re not being creepy, maybe a bit insane but not creepy-”
“You heard the yellow king in here?????”
“I guess!”
“And you didn’t feel compelled to follow it?????”
“I guess not!”
Der dragged a hand down his face. This guy really is such an idiot that he’s too stupid to be influenced. Just my luck.
“Want me to go kill him?”
“Excuse me???”
Avery struck a pose, sword in hand. “I’m the future skywars champion I'll have you know! Some rando king or whatever can’t stop me or my new best friend!”
Der could clearly see where this was going; he didn’t need infinite knowledge to figure it out. “Avery, I swear-”
Avery started skipping down the left tunnel, humming obnoxiously cheerily. Der had no choice but to follow him. They made it to the yellow doors faster than Der had initially somehow, and Avery simply waltzed right in.
“Fuck's sake- Avery what are you doing?!” Der ran in after him, shielding his eyes this time.
Avery looked up at the king in yellow sitting on a golden throne, surrounded by yellow- yeah we get it. “Okay this is kinda overkill, don’t you think? I get it, yellow’s your favorite color, but would it hurt to change it up a little? Maybe add some red or purple.”
The king in yellow glared down at him in silence for a solid ten seconds. “Why are you not going crazy.”
Avery ignored him and pointed his sword at It. “Prepare yourself! The future skywars champion is about to kick your ass!”
The king in yellow barely had a chance to react before Avery did a sick backflip, snapped Its neck, and saved the day. The king crumpled to the ground like a wet newspaper, and Avery danced over It’s body.
“Holy shit dude.” Der said. “That was so cool. What the hell. Will you marry me”
Avery simply held up a hand and struck another cool pose. “The skywars champion is tied to no one-! Wait are you serious.”
Der nodded.
Avery shrugged. "Okay then."
The next day they held the wedding in Avery's backyard. Wifies himself was the officiator. All 10 million viewers were in the audience, and the king in yellow's dead body was sat on a chair near the back corner since he was a fatass. Wifies announced them husband and husband. Everyone cheered and clapped as Der lifted Avery up bridal style and walked away in to the sunset.