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Chapter Text

25/04 - 19:56

  The darkness is unending as Izuru lies there. Frozen. Warmth is still pooling around him and the soft hum of the chambers can be heard rhythmically pulsating from all sides. 

  What happened? Did something go wrong with the machine? Nothing feels particularly different from before he went in. 

  No, that's not quite true. His body seems to ache and his muscles burn for disuse. It's a strange uncomfortable feeling biting under his skin but no matter how much he tries to move his body a seem to want to cooperate. It’s almost like he’s been untethered. Disconnected from his own body. 

  Fighting against his own body, he does his best to pry open his eyes. It takes uncomfortably long but eventually they flutter open and the eerie green light he remembers from the chambers swells around him. It stings his eyes viciously and completely fills his vision. The glass lid above him is fogged up and blurred, obscuring the world laying out beyond it.

  Laying there, unable to move, he tries to determine what just happened. It feels like mere seconds ago that he laid down in the eerie chamber with the others but his body tells a different story. Days. Weeks. How long had he been confined and powerless? Did this mean Junko had been successful in her ploy? 

  He doesn’t know. 

  He doesn’t know. 

  An unfamiliar fluttering feeling aches in his chest as he strains against his own human limitations. His own mental distractions are doing little to overcome the odd feeling. 

  He’s relieved when the repetitive drone of the chamber is suddenly broken by the distant sound of footsteps approaching. The light, almost musical sound of the steps is already more than enough information for him to pick up exactly who it is. 

  Sure enough as the lid slides off the familiar odd silhouette of the brown haired girl that had helped set them up in this place appears. Her swirled ponytail bounces in an off-putting way as she runs up to him and peers down at his unmoving form. He's sure she told him her name when they first arrived but he never bothered to even think twice about it. If he really wanted to he could remember it from the archives of information in his mind but she’s not even worth that small slither of effort. Just another face from the crowd that will come and go from his presence.

  It’s only now as she stares down at him, the green light reflecting off her skin unflatteringly, that it hits him like a truck. There she is right above him and yet he can’t so much as lift a hand to wave her away. She could do anything to him now and he wouldn’t be able to stop her. She could kill him and he’d be trapped pathetically.

  Something within him tightens and constricts as he strains to move anything at all. The most he can manage though is blinking disorientingly at her which only makes him more vulnerable to any potential onslaughts as the darkness covers his vision entirely.

  “Hajime! Are you okay?” Her voice is grating, like sandpaper tearing at his skin, but he can’t cover his ears or do anything to shield him from it. His furious series of blinks must be more than enough of a confirmation for her though, “Thank god! We were so worried we’d lose you guys too."

  Are those tears in her eyes? She's clouded by sentiment and fear for people who have done nothing but harm to her. He supposes that's why Junko will always win in the end… 

  He wonders if she knows his role in the events that transpired. It was her who submerged him in the system. Her who was too busy excitedly explaining the system to notice him uploading the virus. When did she realise her mistake? More than ever, the void in his memory and experiences is working against him. Days worth of memories he has no access to him that everyone else will know about. That fluttery feeling returns in full force, gnawing at his insides. 

  Still unable to move, the girl reaches down towards his stiff body and clutches his hand. His body shivers of it’s own volition as he tries to shrink away from her unsuccessfully. It's like his body is having some kind of allergic reaction to her very presence. However she's either too unobservant to notice or she simply doesn't care. Given her tears earlier, he's inclined to believe the former. 

  With very little effort she yanks him forward until he's completely upright and wobbling weakly. His body seems to somewhat have woken up as he reaches out a hand either side to keep him sat upright. Trying to balance in whatever feeble way he can. Refusing to let her see just how weakened he is. If she wanted to kill him now will be the best chance she’s going to get.

  The odd girl simply stands next to him, her eyes bright and still sparkling from tears. He can see her mouth moving at a million miles per hour but he can't hears any of her words. The static sound of his own mind is completely drowning her out. He doubts she has anything of worth hearing though. 

  Unable to hear her, his eyes start taking in the rest of the room instead. Surveying for potential threats. All he can see are a few open chambers between the closed ones with the other people he entered with sat upright. Other members from the future foundation that had submerged them here are stood by each of the dazed members, just like this girl is for him. He drinks in their appearances and tries to place their names. He'd never bothered to think about most of their names before - they were just mindless, predictable puppets of Junko - but now their names suddenly flutter to the forefront of his mind like it's the most natural thing in the world. 

  Fuyuhiko, Akane, Sonia and Kazuichi. The survivors he supposes. 

  He spent more than enough time watching over the despairs from afar during their 'reign' but these aren't the four he'd have selected to survive a killing game. He never did know them before Junko drained them of anything interesting though. Perhaps thinking that would be giving them too much credit though.

  Did this mean Junko failed? The idea doesn't seem to quite fit in his mind but the proof is right here. None of the dead bodies around them are moving. They're all dead still and perfectly sealed beneath glass. The only people moving are the five of them awkwardly fumbling as they are assisted with sitting upright.

  Junko failed. Again. 

  He feels like laughing. The warm feeling emanating from inside him and rippling out. No sound ever comes out though. 

  She failed again. 

  After all her talk and grandeur she really was as useless and boring as the rest of them. A fashionista more than an analyst. She did promise him something unpredictable though so she delivered in that sense at least. 

  "Are you okay?" The girl leans towards him again, her face crumpled up unflatteringly. 

  This time he is able to move his body and he instinctively retreats from her. She bites her lip but thankfully backs off at once. As soon as she’s out of his personal space he let's out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. His head somehow throbbing as if he has just been held underwater. Lungs burning and screaming for oxygen.

  Did this program do something to him? 

  "I’m fine." He tries to speak but his voice comes out crackly and disjointed. He feels a strange warmth inch across his cheeks at the sound of his own pathetic failure. 

  "Don't worry, you've been asleep for twenty three days so you might be a little stiff for a while." She gives what he assumes is supposed to be a reassuring smile but it is nothing of the sort. 

  Twenty three days. His past self wasn't as pathetic as he'd assumed then. Twenty three days is all it took to destroy Junko for a second time - and for good this time too. He's not going to make her another AI this time. She's outlived her usefulness at this point. If she needs him just to keep her functioning then she is hardly worth his time - surely even she would agree with that. 

  He can see every other despair turned to look at him, their eyes foreign and dripping with emotions. Confusion? Relief? Disappointment? He has no idea… For once, he can't read them at all. Just that alone has him twitching. Swallowing hard as he tries to make sense of all of this. Fighting with his own mind as hard as he can.

  "Let's get you out of here then." 

  She cautiously reaches towards him, waiting for a negative reaction, but he moves towards her instead. Their hands meet in the middle as she pulls him further out. Hooking one arm under his she half carries him out of the chamber. 

  That warmth from before brushes across his cheeks again as he flails on the ground like an incompetent child. Legs buckling under his weight until he's utterly reliant on the girl at his side. He struggles with his own legs, trying to shrug the girl off as soon as possible but it's useless. There is no point in even trying. Eventually he succumbs to his own weakness and allows her toned arm to hoist him up. Gripping onto him with everything she has.

  "Don't worry, I've got you." She mutters. Her voice is far too close to his ears, grating against him and making a shiver run down his spine. Goosebumps erupting all over his skin without his consent.

  He's thankfully distracted from the invasive feeling as a thud echoes around the room. Everyone turns their head to see Akane sprawled on the floor. The tall boy with dreaded hair standing over her awkwardly. 

  "Help her up, Hiro." The stern girl that had first greeted him when he disembarked the boat sighs deeply. Standing up as straight as ever as she surveys them all with her cutting gaze.

  "Useless." The lanky boy with glasses rolls his eyes and spits out the words. Lips twitching and pursed as he sneers down his nose at each of them.

  He can't say he disagrees. The strange boy - Hiro or whatever they'd called him - can barely lift her, struggling at yanking her up by the arm. Bit by bit he can see her growing redder, the vein on her forehead throbbing as she grits her teeth loud enough for everyone to hear around the room. Her hand twitching into tight fists as she prepares herself to shove her 'helper' off at a moment's notice. She's barely more than skin and bones, all gaunt edges and deep pitted skin, yet he seems to fumble his way through the entire interaction. 

  Eventually he manages to hoist her up, her skeletal body wobbling unstably every time he moves. It’s hardly the most elegant looking thing but he supposes it does the job.

  "We need to get you guys somewhere more comfortable." The sound of Naegi’s voice has his blood turning to ice in his veins as he whips is head around to examine the shorter boy. Appraising him once more.

  While he might not have wanted to waste his time and energy on these people’s names, it was impossible to forget his name. Not when Junko treated it like a prayer, never shutting up about him even before he helped lead to her downfall. Given the situation they’re in he shouldn’t be surprised to see him here again and yet it still has him double taking as he examines the other boys dazed expression.

  Izuru can't remember ever seeing anything that even slightly resembled comfort when they were first lead through the building but he doesn't argue. They weren't exactly given the grand tour before, all these people wanted was to get them shoved inside those chambers as fast as possible. Hell, they didn't even know who he was. 

  "We have a few rooms and beds set up for you all across the hall." The stern girl almost sounds soft and warm as she speaks but he doesn't trust it for a second. 

  What happened inside that machine? They must have realised they'd been duped. They don't seem remarkably unintelligent - well, some of them don't at least - so they must know something is up. 

  Who knew not knowing could churn his stomach so much… 

  Still resting his weight on the swirly haired girl, they hobble out of the room and cross to the opposite side. No one says a word but the sound of their shuffling feet says more than enough. Swelling around their room as the sound gradually grinds more and more against the inside of his skull.

  As soon as they enter the room Izuru locks his eyes on the nearest couch. The less time he needs to spend pressed up next to this girl, the better. Before they've even gotten to the couch he pushes off of her and half walks and half falls the last few steps. Fuyuhiko isn't far behind, tripping like a fawn as both of them lay unceremoniously on the couch. 

  For the first time Izuru has to hunch over and take deep, raking breaths. He can feel them rumbling through his chest. He digs his nails into his legs as they shiver and tremble meekly. At this point he doesn't care if he's breaking skin. Any distraction from the pounding in his head and aching of his body will be welcomed. 

  "Are you okay?" The girl has sunk to her knees, trying to make eye contact. He turns his head as far from her as he can and scrunches his eyes closed, "I'll get you some water! Staying hydrated is important!" 

  He can hear her footsteps slowly growing quieter as she runs across the room to get some water from somewhere. He gets a few precious seconds of peace before she's back and pushing water into his hand. The stubborn part of him that he never knew existed wants to throw it in her face but the dry cracking of his lips tells a different story. Just the sound of the water sloshing next to him is making his mouth feel dry and desolate. And yet even swallowing is suddenly such a chore.

  Before he can think twice he grabs the cup and gulps it down within seconds. Is his mouth supposed to feel more dry now than it did before? He has no time to ask for more though as she's already run off to get water for everyone else.

  While he's waiting for her to finish he looks up and tries to acclimate to the new room. It's as dull and bare as the other room with a single television in front of the variety of couches on one side and a kitchen dining room on the other. 

  The others have all collapsed on the couch too. Akane seems to have thrown her head back, her eyes closed softly and her chest slowly rising and falling with her shallow breaths. The others all seem in a similar state to him, fighting their body for control and dominance. Fuyuhiko’s dead blue eye is staring off ahead, not rotten but unmoving in the socket. The unsettling gaze of Junko following him even in death. 

  He looks to the other future foundation members. Much to his surprise, they aren't the only ones suffering at the moment. Naegi has his head in his hands as he slowly massages his temples. At a glance the girl and boy either side of him don't appear bothered at all but he can see the way their knuckles whiten and their eyes glaze over every so often. Only the swirly haired girl and 'Hiro' seem relatively unbiased.

  By the time the swirly haired girl sits down they have a table full of water glasses that even they will probably never get through. All of the glasses sitting there, glistening under the fluorescent light of the room around them. Part of him wants to reach over and grab another one but he doesn’t trust his hands to be stable enough to keep a hold of one anymore.

  The first one to stand up is the stern girl from before. She gives her skirt a calculated brush down before carefully speaking with a steady, cool voice, "Before we start, I just want to ask how much you remember from the last few days." Every word she speaks seems to have an untold weight. She's reading all of them in ways he doesn't even understand yet and it makes something hot writhe inside him. 

  "I do not remember a thing." Sonia holds her head up high as she speaks. 

  She looks as perfect as the last time he saw her. Even after spending weeks confined to a small coffin, every strand of her hair seems to still be in place. But more impressive than anything else, she's sat up perfectly, poised as if she was still on her throne giving out death orders. While the others seem second away from being taken out by infection or a strong wind, she almost looks normal. As normal as someone can look in this situation.

  It’s only worse when you compare her to Kazuichi who is on her other side. Izuru is pretty sure he is supposed to be looking subtly to the side to examine Izuru but it’s anything but subtle at this point as he sways on the spot, "No…none of us do." 

  Out of all Junko's mindless slaves, Kazuichi had been the one he'd seen the most. He could be considered her favourite, if she even had those. But even so, seeing him clean without the thick layer of oil, grime, and blood almost makes him like an entirely different person. He supposes this is better but that isn’t saying much.

  Yet the most different thing is his eyes. Physically both eyes are the same but you could be mistaken for thinking they weren't. Gone is the feral, psychotic look that always permeated them. Now they're wide with soft, worn down edges. They almost look like they're shimmering in the dull lights of the room. 

  "Great…" The blonde boy mumbles, too quietly for most people to hear but he's not most people. If he had the energy to care he might rolls his eyes but instead he just ignores him completely as the girl continues to explain.

  "Then I will try to make this easy for you to understand." In Izuru's limited experience, nothing good comes after a sentence like that, "As you all likely already know, an AI of Junko was uploaded into the program when you were all logged in. Your brain dead friends are the result of the ensuing killing game."

  Brain dead. He doesn't know why the words stick out in his mind. As soon as he learnt about the Neo World Program he knew what would happen if someone did in fact die in it. They all knew what they were doing when they agreed. They might not have all been gifted with very many brain cells, but they were certainly intelligent enough to know the stakes coming into this at the very least. So why is he getting hung up on that now…? 

  "When your avatars got to the graduation ceremony we were able to enter the program to help you and you were given three choices. You could choose to stay in the program, trapping us and you with Junko for eternity. You could graduate and free Junko into the world through your deceased friend's bodies in order to destroy these versions of yourselves. Or you could undo the program and return to your bodies without any memory change, destroying Junko forever."

  Junko had gotten so close to success again then. In the back of his mind he wonders how large of a role Naegi had in her downfall this time. Another failure at the very last second to the same people. 

  The blonde boy looks away and pushes up his glasses obnoxiously, "It's not hard to figure out what you chose." 

  Although he'd been hunched and holding his head just a few seconds before, Naegi stands up enthusiastically. Ready to launch into a dull speech at a moment's notice, "You made a worthy sacrifice and saved the world from Junko. Your avatars had hope for the future and we won't let your hope die. We promised to keep protecting you - even if you can't remember what happened in the program. You can still be saved."

  This is the Ultimate Hope, huh?

  He's not particularly noteworthy, even sat here in front of him he doesn't seem very charismatic unlike his opposite: Junko. The sparkle in his eyes is foreign and alien after spending so much time in the filthy cesspool that is the outside world but even that can be easily overlooked. Every word that comes out of his mouth is predictable and meaningless but he's the one who beat Junko over and over again. 

  "Hope, huh." Fuyuhiko scoffs quietly to himself. His beady blue eye is gazing through Naegi this time and Izuru could swear he sees him shiver under the glare. Does he know this is Junko's eye? Izuru can't imagine not being able to tell. 

  "You really think we can be saved." Kazuichi snorts and raises a single eyebrow. The thin scar running through his eyebrow stretches and bends awkwardly, extenuating the expression. 

  "I know you can be." 

  He says it with so much conviction that Izuru can only sit there dumbfounded. For the first time in his life he feels like laughing. What is he even talking about?

  When the stern girl opens her mouth he's expecting her to completely disagree with every utterance that spouted out her colleagues mouth but instead - "He's right. If you let us help you we can do everything we can to help you undo your brainwashing. You just need to be open to the idea and ready to ask for help." 

  Coming face to face with the hope Junko fought so hard against he can't say he disagrees with Junko. It's somehow both illogical and completely predictable. Stable and naive. He'd hoped for better. This whole venture has been a complete waste of time then. 

  "We do not need to be saved." Venom oozes out of every word Sonia speaks, "You might not understand but we enjoy the despair. It is not something we need saving from." 

  The blonde boy lets out a deep sigh and stands up to walk over to the kitchen. He can feel the weight of every step as the boy trudges away from them all. As he lowers his head he can just about see the swirly haired girl’s hands curl into a fist around the fabric of her trousers.

  "Then we can't allow you to leave. For protection of course.” Just like that the stern girl puts her foot down without a moment hesitation or uncertainty. 

  “Yeah, sure. Protection from us.” Fuyuhiko rolls his eyes eye. 

  “Of course. Protection for you too. The future foundation and the world itself isn’t exactly happy with you and we intend to protect you from all of them too - whether you want us to or not.” Despite her sanctimonious words, they are nothing more than prisoners. Trapped here until they become too dangerous or risky and the future foundation can eradicate them for good. It doesn’t matter though. They all came here knowing full well they could just be executed on the spot by the future foundation. If they think this will scare them then they are sorely mistaken. 

  “Call it whatever you like. That doesn’t change what it is.” Akane speaks for the first time, her voice somehow both gravelly and light. He is almost surprised she can talk, considering the state she’s in. Her voice barely even audible as it scratches roughly against the inside of her throat.

  “You truly aren’t prisoners, however I know we won’t be able to change your views of it. We will always be here to help you if you ever change your mind though. I don't know what Junko did to you at school but we did get to see the people you used to be and they wouldn't have wanted this for you." She speaks slowly with lidded eyes. The edges of a yawn stroke her voice. 

  Their past selves. He feels like scoffing at her. Whoever it was in that machine, it wasn't him. They might have both had this body at some point but they are by no means the same people. Hajime was too weak to understand what Hopes Peak wanted from him so why should he get any say in Izuru's life? If he'd been stronger and smarter he would be here instead of Izuru. But he isn't so he has forfeited his say in anything. He's not going to listen to a corpse. 

  Without another word the girl reaches down smoothly and takes Naegi’s hand, pulling him up to stand beside her with complete ease. Unsurprisingly, he looks disappointed and won't meet their eyes but he doesn't say a word this time. He just allows her to lead him out of the room, the other two boys trailing behind them.

  The door closes behind them leaving them all alone with the swirly haired girl who had woken him. They must not care about her if they're leaving her here all alone. Either that or she just drew the short straw this time. 

  "So…" The girl claps her hands loudly. At once Kazuichi flinches back as if he’s been woken from some kind of daze. His gaze is fixated on the final girl left in front of them.

  She laughs uncomfortably and forces a stilted smile, “If you’re going to be staying here for a while I should show you where you’re staying.” She puts a good foot forward and heads off towards the kitchen.

  For a moment none of them move. Not only can they not move properly, but why should they? They’re just fancy prisoners after all. It is far easier to just sit here and watch her fumble about.

  “Oh right, I forgot.” She blushes profusely and rushes back over to them, “Uh…you can’t exactly walk around yet but this is the living space. It's got the seating areas as well as a pretty well stocked kitchen! We’ve all cooked in it before and it seemed great!” She seems to be awkwardly buzzing about the room. He can’t quite determine if it’s the nerves or if she's just naturally like that.

  Still desperately trying to point to areas without moving, she gestures behind them, "And those are your rooms. There's one for each of you! I know they might not be much but it's all we could really manage since most the future foundation is against us on this…" She swallows deeply and gives them all an expectant look. 

  At once he pictures the last 'room' he had. A dull metal frame and springy mattress in the middle of a dark room. He can't imagine what more you would need. He's seen many other people's rooms since Junko set him free but they all seemed far more complicated than they needed to be. He doubts even they can mess up a bedroom really. 

  As they're unable to move she has to quickly move on, leaving the rooms themselves still a mystery. "And if you go out there you'll find access to the rooftop, the surgical ward and doctors office as well as all our temporary rooms. I think there's a library and gym too but I've been a bit too busy to check," she scratches the back of her neck with one hand, "you'll be able to see for yourself though." 

  With that she just pauses expectantly. The five of them are stuck sitting there in utter silence. What are they supposed to say? ‘Oh wow, sounds like lots of fun. Can't wait to enjoy our prison sentences here.’?

  It's a relief when she finally breaks the silence to continue chattering more to herself than to them at this point, "Oh yeah, since we don't really have any staff the doctors office and stuff isn't normally staffed. We have a few people working under us that have been trying to help but it's risky to mess with the future foundation. They said they could come and examine you all today to see how they can help you recover. So expect that I guess." Her awkward laughter doesn't help her in the slightest, "Uhhh…so I'll take you to your rooms to try and relax a little before the doctors come to start poking at you." 

  He can barely hold himself from rolling his eyes as she drags him up again. He has enough feeling in his legs to support his body, even if he can't really move them on his own. 

  He finds himself looking back at the others muttering amongst themselves as he's dragged off alone. He barely even knows any of them but the idea of being taken off on his own makes that uncomfortable fluttering in his chest start up again. He tries to smother the constricting feeling to no avail. 

  As they get closer to the rooms he notices just how many there are. At a glance he already knows it must be fifteen. One for every member placed in the machine. The future foundation would have designed this wing for the innocent Hopes Peak students to recover after treating their trauma in the Neo World program. It will never be used like that though… Not anymore. 

  The image of the sealed pulsating chambers from the other room is seared into his mind. It's easy to say the numbers but actually seeing their open ones surrounded by the sea of sealed ones is different. So many unused rooms sat here waiting.

  "Do you mind which room you have?" She asks him nonchalantly as they step into the corridor of rooms. 

  He shakes his head. He doubts any of them vary anyway. "Okay. We'll start with the nearest one then." 

  She carefully helps him balance so she can open the room door for him. His legs immediately feel like matchsticks seconds away from snapping. He manages to hold himself there though as she swings the door open and wraps her muscular arm around him once more. 

  Sure enough, it's nothing more than a white bed and a sterile desk in a small room. There aren't even shelves or places to put clothes. Just the bed, desk and icy white walls as far as the eye can see. 

  "Sorry, I know it's bar -" She begins apologising but he cuts her off. 

  "It's fine." He reaches forward and pulls himself out of her reach so he can hobble over to the bed on his own. His muscles sigh with relief as he sinks into the mattress. If the girl wasn't here he could fall backwards until he was surrounded by cushioned mattress. 

  "There is a lock on the inside of the door but there's none for the outside of the door." She moves over to demonstrate on the door, "It should give you some privacy at least, even if you can’t lock it when you're not in it."

  Privacy, huh…

  "It won't be too long until the doctors come so just keep yourself comfortable until then." She clears her throat as she examines the room, "I'll go take others to their rooms now then…" 

  He doesn't know what doctors are going tell them him that he doesn't already know? Honestly he's probably more qualified than them… Still there is no point arguing with her here and now. All he wants is her gone so he shouldn’t try to keep her here.

  With that she turns to sprint out of the room. Her hair swishing behind her as she does whip around. She’s almost out of the door when he finds himself leaning forwards. Calling out to her before he can see sense and stop himself, "What's your name?" 

  She grinds to a halt, not turning to look at him. Just looking at her back he can't tell what's she's thinking in that exact moment. It’s not often that he sees her standing this still - not even breathing.

  "Asahina. Aoi Asahina." She still doesn't turn to look at him. She doesn't even move. If he didn't know better he'd think she was under some kind of spell. 

  Then, just as suddenly as she'd stopped, she runs off again. She closes the door behind her, sealing him in. Straining his ears be can hear her chatting with the others but he couldn't care less what they're saying. Instead he lies back and rests his aching body. 

  Thoughts spiral in his head, running rampant. This entire place and situation is a confusing mess. Is this how he's supposed to live the rest of his life now? Trapped in these walls with these dull, useless people? He doubts these people could really do anything to stop them if he tried to leave - after all he is the true Ultimate Hope. But what’s waiting out there? The dull world he witnessed Junko create. Maybe he's just cursed to the boring and predictable. 

  He's not sure how much time passes as he lies there. Distant sounds fade into nothing over time. He listens to every second pass on a clock in the corridor until even those blur in his mind. 

  It's been a while since he's been able to just lie down and listen to peaceful nothing. Junko's world didn't have time for that kind of still or quiet. He's beginning to think that was a flaw with her grand master plan. 

~~~

25/04 - 22:43

  He's so engrossed in lying with his thoughts, he doesn't hear the doctors approaching until he hears the knock on his door. His heart rate leaps for a moment before he settles himself again. 

  "Come in." The words come out crackly and quiet but they must be able to hear him as the door promptly swings open. 

  With the door open he can see the other rooms in the corridor once more. A barrage of doctors have come as he can see other doors opening to let doctors in. Across from him he can see Fuyuhiko glaring at the approaching doctor before the door closes, hiding him from view once more. 

  "Hinata, right. Hajime Hinata." The doctor mutters, flicking through the papers casually. 

  He's dressed just like Izuru remembers them looking. The pristine white coat and everything. He's just like the ones from Hopes Peak, all clinical coldness and steely edges. He'd fit right in with that gaggle. In fact, he's with the future foundation so he very well could have come from Hopes Peak. 

  Izuru has to bite down on his tongue to keep himself from saying something unnecessary, "Izuru Kamukura." There's no point in lying about who he is now. 

  The doctor stares at him before looking down at his chart again. Double taking for just a moment as his lips purse together firmly. Izuru can see him scratch something out on the paper and scrawl what he assumes is his updated name. 

  "Okay, Kamukura." The doctor drops the clip board back to his side as he just remains by the door. Surveying Izuru from a distance, “As you're aware, I'm one of the doctors that was able to come here to check on you all. The Neo World Program can exert a toll on the body and mind - even if you didn’t successfully complete the program." 

  "Yes. Muscle atrophy." He tries to keep the sigh out of his voice. This is a waste of time…

  "Somewhat. The Neo World Program was designed to keep the patients in as good condition as possible since it's designed for psychological treatment. We wouldn't want you permanently crippled while we tried to treat your mental state. You might be feeling some discomfort and aching for now but if it has worked as intended you should be able to recover from this in a few days. Just keep trying to use the muscles as much as possible, even if you are doing it while sat in bed." The doctor gives a saccharine smile which makes his skin tingle. 

  Without any warning the doctor starts to approach him. Every step the doctor takes seems to make his chest constrict a little more. Not just his chest, his throat has seized up.

  What the - ?

  He can see the doctor talking but not a single word reaches Izuru. Static has wrapped it around his head as he tries to keep breathing in and out without drawing the attention of the doctor. His entire body is burning and yet he’s still shivering at the same time. All the while the doctor is happily chattering away, focused on his clipboard as he raises it once more. Closing the distance between them as he tries to show something on the paper to Izuru. 

  For a moment he wonders if he's been poisoned. Did Asahina slip something in that water he chugged? No, he already knows what it is. It's anxiety. He’s having an anxiety attack. Him. It doesn't make sense at all. 

  "Kamukura, are you okay?" The doctors words cut through the haze of his mind. Sharp as his body flinches away without his consent.

  "Of course." 

  "Is it okay if I do the tests then?" He shuffles slightly closer. Izuru can feel every centimeter between them. The gradually shrinking space slowly sucking the air out of his lungs.

  "Of course."

  The doctor watches him uncertainly but begins checking him over anyway. Once more he can barely hear the words the doctor says but he fights to control his breathing if nothing else. Focusing all his attention on keeping himself frozen solid as the doctor keeps moving his hands all over Izuru.

  Every time their skin makes contact he feels like vomiting. He's practically gasping for air as the doctor asks him to unbutton his shirt. His shiny metal stethoscope glimmers in the light. It's nothing more than a flat surface but his mind sees the sharp knives and instruments from Hopes Peak. Their perfect reflective surfaces echoing into the present. The way they'd cut and cut until nothing was left.

  He doesn't even feel the cold metal pressing against his skin. He just feels the burning searing pain of skin being torn apart. The hot flush of blood trickling down his skin. 

  He's not sure what happened next. The fog chokes him and his mind fully shuts down. No matter how much he tries to steady his breathing the doctor must be able to hear the rugged choking sounds he's making. 

  And yet...

  “Okay, we can call it a day for now then.” The words puncture the fog in his mind. Yet the hot fuzzy heat surrounding him doesn't dissipate. Clawing it’s way down his throat as if trying to desperately suffocate him just like that.

  Was he so absent from his own mind that he didn't realize how much time had passed? Surely the doctor hadn't done all the necessary tests yet. He doesn't have as many memories as most but his most vivid ones are still those from his time at Hope’s Peak. He knows enough about psychology to know those will likely never fade. Not really. The hours he would spend in the pristine white rooms every day running tests. It certainly never felt like the blink of an eye. 

  Sure enough, when he looks down at his arms he sees the blanched skin still free from marks. No needle points. No blood. No nothing.

  “We’ve done all the most important tests and it seems you’re in perfect condition.” The doctor chirps up, as if to confirm Izuru's thoughts. He's already brushing himself down and stepping back, ready to leave. 

  Just like that.

  But before the doctor can change his mind Izuru is rapidly buttoning his shirt up, His hands so numb and hard to control that he fumbles pathetically with each one. The buttons slipping right out of his grip as he grits his teeth. But no matter how many times he stumbles, he refuses to give up.

  As soon as it’s buttoned he holds his arms as tightly around his chest as he can. He wants to make himself as small as possible and move away from the doctor, but his body aches too much to even try. Instead he just settles for shielding himself as best he can with his heavy arms.

  “Okay.” He chokes out the word pathetically. 

  “Are -” The doctor freezes for a moment, eyeing him up in an uncomfortable way before continuing, “Are you sure you’re okay? If you need anything you can let us know.” 

  “I’m fine.” He bristles at the insinuation. 

  In truth he can feel his stomach beginning to grumble angrily and his throat now feel more coarse than it had felt before Asahina had given him that water. No way is he going to take anything from this doctor though. The last thing he needs is to let them feed him some kind of sleeping pill to keep him placid. 

  “Okay, then. Although we're leaving today, Naegi and the others will all still be here in case your condition changes. We've got a walker for each of you that I'll bring over in a minute. Practicing with it will hopefully help you start to walk on your own as soon as possible.”

  As soon as possible they say. That can’t be soon enough at this point. At least it will give him something to do while he’s stuck here - but the weak reasoning isn’t even effective within his own mind. Even he can’t argue with the failures of the human constitution. At least it shouldn’t take too long if they’re to be believed.

  “I understand.” His hands curl into fists in his lap. It clutches at the edges of his shirt fabric.

  The doctor lingers for a moment, mouth opening and closing, but he doesn’t say a word. Soon enough he’s gone leaving Izuru alone with his thoughts. And yet, he can somehow still feel the man there. He can still feel his cold fingers pressing against the skin. He wants to pull on his thick and pristine suit jacket but it’s not here. All he has is this useless flimsy t-shirt. It truly is like a prison here…

  It's almost a relief when the doctor comes back with the walker. The droning patronisation of him demonstrating the walking exercises is almost enough to occupy his mind for a short time. Even that doesn’t last forever though as the doctor bids him farewell for good this time.

Chapter Text

  Heat billows around him, licking at his face. The flickering forms of orange and yellow flames lapping at the edges of his vision. As he stands in the dark room he can vividly feel the burn of smoke in his nostrils searing him down to his core. The acrid smell of it tainting him as the sound of the crackling drones on in his head.

  And yet only fragmented snippets of visions float about in the darkness of his mind. Pink blood oozing. Dripping. Staining a ratty white shirt. Darkness. Dampness. Monokuma laying motionless on the floor. Blood pooling on him too. Echoing music. Blood on icy white skin. Pink soaking a shock of white hair.

  But in the haze of scattered images and feelings, he sees something familiar. A galaga pin. The very same one still tucked in his pocket to this day. He can see the girl too. Smiling for some reason. There's no blood staining her and no desperation seeping through her eyes. She looks so full of…life. Not the wreck Junko made of her.

  She reaches out a hand to him just like she did before. It doesn't tremble this time though. Steady. Unfaltering.

  "Hajime."

  The name makes him flinch. Can he never escape that damn name?

  "Hajime."

  He wants to completely turn from her. He wants to put her frail silhouette far behind him again. But, just like the last time he saw her, he's utterly frozen. He can't do anything except stare at her.

  "Hajime." She calls out to him, her voice almost stern. It doesn't match with her soft, youthful face. "Remember what we made together. You have to remember. Please."

  She's too far away for him to be certain, but he could swear there are shimmering streaks of tears running down her face.

  "What do you mean?" He finds his voice and tries to call back to her.

  "Please, Hajime!" She must not hear him as she continues to plead with him ferociously, "Everything that happened didn't mean nothing! As long as you remember and continue and keep on living it had meaning."

  "I'm not who you think I am. I don't even know who you are." He puts his foot down and finally forces his body away from her, "Whoever you were to this Hajime person, you are nothing to me."

  Resolute, he plants himself there with his back turned to her. In the back of his mind he can see her clawing towards him. Dragging herself closer just like the last time he saw her. The image filling his mind even though she is no longer on the floor this time.

  "Hajime. Please." This time her begging voice sounds just like he remembers. The last breaths of a dying child, "You have to remember."

  He curls his hand into the tightest fist he can manage. His nails digging into the soft unbroken skin of his palm but no sharp sting of pain comes. No pink blood taints his skin.

  He's so focused on himself he doesn't even notice the girl approaching until her hand makes contact with his. Her soft, slender fingers prying his fist loose until she's enveloped the hand entirely. He can feel the small galaga pin pressed between their palms. The dharp edges pressing into the skin hard enough that it is impossible to ignore.

  "I know you think Hopes Peak killed you but they didn't. The memories are still there. Deep down. You just need to find them again. Once you remember you can finally start working towards the future we created together."

  The future we created together…What the hell is she talking about?

  Before he can think better of it, he whips around to face her. Her hand is still gently wrapped around his own. However, as soon makes eye contact with her the air is knocked out his lungs.

  The soft brown hair and innocent face of the odd girl has been completely replace. Now he's staring at those familiar blonde pigtails. Junko Enoshima. The Monokuma hair ties mocking him with their twisted toothy smile. Her own vicious grin matching that of her clips as all three face cut through him. Her cackles electrifying the air between them.

  Her eyes are as empty as ever. Icy blue chilling him right down to the bone. Hollow husks.

  Immediately her fingers curl harshly around his hand, long red nail digging into his skin as they slowly travel along his palm and up his arm. It's like she's bound him into a trance. Chained him down. He can’t do anything as she moves closer and closer to him. He can't even move as her painted lips hover right beside his ear - her cold icy breath stinging his skin everywhere she touches.

  He wants to shove her away but he doesn't. He's like a puppet with it's strings cut as his limbs hang there uselessly.

  "Izuru…" Her voice coos malevolently.

  At once it's like he can feel every breath leaving his lungs. The air slowly escaping him. Each and every heartbeat thunders inside his head once more. Blood pulsating painfully as the pressure builds and builds within the confines of his skull.

  "Where did the other girl go?" He manages to squeeze the words out of his tight lungs.

  "What other girl? It's just you and me, Izuru."

  Somehow she moves even close. It's like she's trying to infiltrate his body. As if she's eventually going to seep right into him. At any moment the boundary between them is going to blur and she will steal his body away from him just like that. Just another catatonic body lying in wait. Suspended in limbo for all time.

  "Just you and me." Her hand has finally reached all the way up his arm and stopped, frozen, at his shoulders. Hovering there patiently.

  "Together we can ruin this world completely. Who's going to stop us?" Despite her asking, it doesn't feel like a question, "Junko and Izuru, controlling the world. With you at my side no one will ever be able to stop me."

  Suddenly her hand begins moving again. They snap from his shoulders to his neck. Resting around the hot pulsing flesh of his neck. Curling around the skin. He can feel every point of her ruby red nails. The sharpness of them digging into his skin ever so slightly, but she doesn't apply any pressure. She just holds them there. A collar keeping him in place.

  He wants to pull away. He wants to yank her hands off of him. He wants to break the chain and collar keeping him in place. He want to say something. Anything. Something to refuse her. Deny her completely. But instead, all he does is scream.

  And that's how he wakes up.

~~~

26/04 - 03:03

  He immediately sits up in bed. His body is screaming and burning in agony yet there isn't even the ghost of a scream hanging on his throat. Just the steady dripping of thick sweat oozing off on him. He can feel it clinging to him like an extra layer of clothing. Suffocating him.

  His breath is still catching in his throat and his lungs are still burning. The invasive form of Junko is long gone but even now her fingers ghost over him. Her breath tickling his ear as she inches closer and closer. The 'threat' might be gone but his heart is still thundering relentlessly as if it was right there beside him.

  Trying to ignore the dull ache, he twists his body so his legs can hang over the edge of the bed. As soon as they hit the floor a ripple of pain shoots up his leg, settling his nerves alight. Reacting on impulse, his body takes huge gasping breaths right as he stares around at the dark room.

  No one is in sight, just the quiet, empty dark welcoming him. The longer he stares into the void, the more his heartbeat slows down. Thundering pittering off slowly until it's more of a stutter than anything else.

  Still he clutches his head carefully and mutters the same thing over and over in his mind: It was just a dream. It was just a dream. It was just a dream.

  A dream? Despite how much he knows about dreams has he ever had a dream of his own? He can't think of a single one but after this he can't say he enjoyed the experience. Turning around he's greeted once more by the soggy, rumpled bed.

  Yeah, not the most pleasant experience…

  It's been years since he even thought about that girl. Years since her pathetic form soured his mind. So why is he seeing her now? Not just her - Junko too. He knows enough about dreams to not put much stock in that dream reading stuff but that doesn't mean dreams have no meaning.

  He's sure of it now - the Neo World Program did something to him. It messed with his head. Both Junko and the future foundation failed yet something still happened to him. There's only one place he's going to find answers though and it isn't here.

  He stares at the soggy, sweat ladden bed and the walker across the room. Regardless of what the doctor said, sleep isn't helping at the moment. Especially not with the bed in this state.

  So, still gripping the bed, he wobbles to his feet. His traitorous legs try to buckle again but his arms resist, holding firm. He can do this. He can cross the room dammit. He hasn't fallen that far yet - or at least he doesn't want to believe he has.

  Taking each step one at a time, he shuffles further and further from the bed until he's too far for his hand to stay clamped onto the bed frame any longer. Without a structured support to lean on, his legs buckle further still. Sheer willpower alone keeps him standing. He's not going to fall on the floor like a fawn. Not when he's alone in the darkness in this state.

  He just barely keeps himself off the floor as he stumbles a few steps across the room and to his walker. The thought of using it makes his stomach churn but he grabs it anyway. Better this than falling. At a time like this he needs to make exceptions.

  As much as he wants to immediately head out of the room (and perferrably the building entirely), he doesn't quite yet. The shirt and trousers he had entered the Neo World Program are still sticking to him awkwardly. Sweat has effectively made the shirt translucent, sticking to him in all the most ways. Worse than that, he can feel the warm sticky sheen covering every inch of his body like a parasite. If he wants to go anywhere he needs to get rid of this sweat first.

  Cautiously, he takes his first step with the walker. It's smoother than he'd imagined, far from elegant but he can work with it. Shuffling with a little more speed and confidence now, he moves towards the small chest of draws at the side of the room.

  There aren't many clothes in it - just a lot of the same white t-shirts and black tracksuit bottoms, as well as underwear. Nevertheless, he grabs a set and begins heading to the bathroom.

  It doesn't take him long to strip down and take a seat on the floor of the bathtub, looking up at the overhead shower. It's hard to reach the taps from down here but it's the best option honestly. Showers have never been particularly enjoyable but he does find himself relaxing a little as the soft water droplets splatter down his back, cleansing his tainted skin. Heat searing into his skin and burning away the filth.

  His long black hair splays out behind him, sticking to his back as the water rushes through it. The constantly pounding sound of water on his head drowns out the sounds of his dream echoing in his head. He can somewhat understand why people might spend forever in the shower now.

  But, not wanting to delay answers longer than he has to, he quickly finishes up once all traces of the sweat have been scrubbed off. It's harder getting up than it was getting down, but leaning on the edge of the tub awkwardly, he eventually drags his dripping form off the ground. After quickly drying himself off with a towel he pulls on the fresh clothes.

  They're not the most flattering and after looking at himself in the mirror he's left feeling itchy. He looks… wrong. His black hair has stuck loosely to him, still dripping around his legs. The faint traces of water on his skin makes the thin scar tracing his head stand out more than usual. Stark white almost luminous in the darkness of the room. He has to manually style his hair to cover it up as much as possible.

  Without the hair's usual volume, he looks so… small. The clothes hang off him, lacking the tailored fit of his suits. He looks like a child wearing second hand ratty clothes. The sooner he put some real clothes on, the better. Then again he shouldn't get his hopes up. He gets the feeling there aren't going to be any decent clothes in this whole building.

  And yet, somehow, his eyes are the thing that sends the coldest shiver down his spine. No matter how long he looks, he can't put his finger on what is wrong. Red eyes still stare back at him - nothing tangible has changes. But still... 

  Tearing his eyes from the mirror he relents and uses the walker to drag himself out the room. But even as he tries to leave, the image still hangs in his mind. Never quite leaving his thoughts even as he makes his way out of his own room and out into the communal area.

  It's as quiet and dark out here as it was in his room. Filled to the brim with a heavy kind of soft silence, like everyone is simply holding their breath. The longer he listens, the quieter his own breaths become until he's not breathing at all. Even then as his ears are as strained as they can be, only silence greets him. Not a peep leaving the rooms of the others.

  Somewhere in his mind he wonders if they're struggling to sleep too... Did the machine alter all of them in someway or does this have to do with him specifically…? With what Hopes Peak did to him?

  Despite the quiet, he studies the communal room in depth. Sure enough, he can see two small, poorly concealed, cameras are carefully surveying the room. The entire place must be being surveyed like this… Of course… There's nothing much he can do about them now though. Not in his condition - it wouldn't be worth the effort either. They'd simply be put on high alert and fix it the next day without anything being solved.

  Rolling his eyes he keeps heaving himself forward. Who knows, maybe they’re not even watching the cameras. He supposes he'll find out soon as he pulls himself to the door and grips the handle. It's a little awkward to open the door with his reliance on the walker but he eventually manages to orient himself properly and slide through into the hallway.

  Unlike the previous day, it's pitch black as he steps out this time. Well, not quite. The cloud of black is intermittently interrupted a soft green flashing light across the hall. It's like a beacon beckoning him home.

  At once he's taken back to what felt like a day ago, although he knows it was weeks ago at this point. The sharp edge of the device holding Junko's AI was digging into his hand. One by one, nothing more than mere ants, they followed the future foundation members through these same desolate halls. But back then he hadn't felt the alluring draw to it that he does now. It was nothing more than a means to an end - not worth his curiosity.

  Scoffing to himself, he follows the beacon into the dim room again. It looks exactly as they'd left it a few hours ago, the only light emanating from the chambers themselves. He could swear the bodies within them are softly illuminated every time the lights pulsate.

  However his eyes aren't drawn to them. Instead he's focused on the girl perched in front of the unlit computer screen across the room. Her soft lilac hair shimmers in the practically non-existent lighting so it almost looks like her hair is made of strands of pure silver. A book is in her hands and she's staring down at it but he doubts she can see much in this darkness. Nevertheless, she keeps staring at it as he shuffles into the room.

  "Kamakura, right?" She doesn't look up from her book. In fact, she turns the page with a delicate flick of her hand.

  "I don't think I heard you introduce yourself earlier." He bristles awkwardly.

  Despite his body being weakened, it still tenses and snarls at her mere presence. His hands clench against the metal frame under him until he can't feel it or his hands anymore. Arms shaking as the muscles in his arms twitch uncomfortably. 

  It's only then that she looks up from her book to face him properly, "Kirigiri Kyoko."

  Her eyes peirce him. It's the first time he's actually looked at them. They're as cold as you'd expect but they lack the distance he's used to seeing accompany the biting cold. It's not quite the flickering candle light of the galaga girl but still far from the icy plain of Junko Enoshima. It feels oddly familiar - comforting almost - though he loathes to admit it even to himself.

  "Ah yes, the principals daughter. The detective girl if my memory serves me." Which it does of course.

  At that her gaze hardens and she finally properly closes the book. It barely makes a sound as she sets it down on the desk in front of her. Her chest visibly rising and falling slowly as she sucks in large breath of air.

  "Junko told us what they did to you. Or to Hajime, I suppose. I don't know what role my father or the other future foundation members played in that but I apologise that it happened anyway." He wants to laugh in her face but he stays still and unmoving.

  Something simmers deep inside him as her words hit him one by one. Their weak, short sighted ambition made him but they still made him. This Hajime person agreed to the whole procedure. His family or guardians agreed. The school agreed. Everyone wanted this. Is she expecting him to apologise for being created? To apologise to this person he never knew for existing? Everyone agreed because they already knew he was an upgrade.

  "You're apologising to a ghost. Apologies can't do much for him anymore."

  He casually stumbles over to the nearest chamber and places a hand on it. It's comfortably warm under his skin. The low humming vibrations purring against him almost make it feel alive. Almost.

  Kirigiri slowly rises from her chair and prowls over to him. He doesn't hear her footsteps but he can see her from the corner of his eye. He subtly tracks her every step, not quite letting her escape his view even with his head turned away. She stops as she reaches the chamber he's resting on. Her eyes are locked solely on the unconscious form sealed within.

  "It's strange. You watch people on a screen for so long and you almost start to feel like you know them." She hums. He's unsure if she's talking to herself or to him - not that it matters either way. But then she raises her head to examine him.

  "Ghosts. You just knew ghosts."

  "You're right." She nods firmly and goes back to staring at the chamber. "You were all Junko's victims. I suppose everyone is in a way but maybe you guys most of all." For once her cold eyes aren't focused on him. Instead he can see her looking down at the chamber in front of them once more.

  For a split moment he wonders who's inside this one. How did this person meet their end? Was there a moment as they died that they remembered their role in the plan and felt peace? Or did they die with fear and hope? Just like with the others who awoke with him, the names of the rest of the class spring to his mind just like that. Their faces blur into view with every name he recalls.

  He's snapped out of the thought again a second later as Kirigiri - the name brings a foul taste to his mouth - prowls back to her chair again. He can hear the slow drag of the chair legs on the ground as she takes her seat and crosses her legs. Her book lays still on the table this time though.

  "I was the year below them and I actually saw them a few times while I was at school." He can feel her reading him but he elects to ignore her, "We were the floor below them and the ruckus they'd make would always disrupt our classes."

  Tap.

  Tap.

  Tap.

  Her finger hits the desk rhythmically. Almost hypnotically.

  "You know full well I was never a part of their class so what is your point?" He sighs and turns to her. His face a blank and still sheet. Two can play at this game.

  "I remember those things now." Her tapping stills finally, "I suspect you were closer to Junko than anyone else, except maybe Mukuro. You were charged with her AI and you helped her start all this when you killed those student council members. You would know exactly what she did to all my classmates and I, yet I remember it all now. We were able to undo everything she did to our minds."

  Closer to her than anyone. Just the words alone sound ridiculous. She doesn't even know how much she is showing her hand as she says that. Placing her naivety and lack of knowledge front and center. It's interesting to know that Junko's lies still live on to this day...

  Nevertheless he still let's his mind wander for a moment. Wondering if Junko could ever be close to anyone. The boys face drifts into his mind for a moment - his shaggy black hair hidden in the shadows - but he promptly shakes the image away as fast as he can. He certainly never felt close to her in all the time they spent together but he supposes that he was still different to the others here.

  "You mean that you were able to recover the memories she took from you. Good for you. You are mistake if you think that means anything to me though. She never did anything to me, it was you people who tampered with my memories." He does his best to keep the cool bite out of his voice.

  She falls quiet for a moment. All he can hear is the quiet buzzing of machines humming in harmony all around them. Perhaps his mind is just filling the space but he could almost swear that he heard her thinking from across the room. He can't tell it he likes it or not…

  "Is that why you're here?" Kirigiri asks almost tentatively. There's something soft and warm in her voice. If he didn't know better he'd almost think it was some weird form of fondness. Perhaps for the person he used to be, whoever she watched in that computer program.

  "Maybe. What did you do to us in there?" He stands up straight, hands leaving the walker and hanging limply at his sides.

  Answers are what he needs. Answers about these strange dreams and feelings. Answers about everything. For the first time he can't find those answers with a mere thought.

  "We both know how smart you are. You probably know how the program works better than the rest of us. I can't give you any new answers about the program."

  He's not surprised to hear that. When they'd arrived the group had told them how it had been made in order to 'convince' them to enter of their own free will. Of the main people who’s work contributed there's only one left alive. He doubts the rest of the group would know a whole lot about any of this.

  "I thought you said the program failed. Nothing from what happened over there should have affected us." He has to forcibly keep himself from wringing his own hands in front of her.

  He’s used to feeling out of control when it comes to his own body, but this feels different somehow. The more his mind hazes over, the more his body seems to move of its own accord. Acting against him at every turn.

  "That's true as far as I'm aware. I don't know what the machine is really capable of." She pauses for a second before her feet hit the ground loud enough to almost make him flinch back, "Are you sure you want to do this? You almost didn't make it out alive last time." She asks tentatively.

  So she already knows what hes planning then. He chuffs and takes a step forward, clinging to the metal frame again.

  "There's no virus this time and I don’t want to run the program, I just need to investigate it on my own. If we are going to be trapped in here for the rest of our lives then it's not like I will be missing much if I die in this machine anyway. I already entered once expecting death and survived." He sighs deeply and drags himself over to the machine he'd crawled out of just a few hours ago.

  One hand brushes over the cool surface as he tries desperately to recall how it felt to be inside the machine again but he's met with a blank slate. He's starting to truly hate Matsuda and his research. What would to boy say if he saw all the damage his work had done? Probably not much honestly…

  "The others won't like this." Kirigiri has slunk over to his side. Both her hands are clutched tightly together in front of her.

  "They aren't here now though."

  She finally releases her hands and glances over to the chamber, "Since we aren't actually turning on the actual program you don't need to go through the whole graduation process again. I should be able to pull you out whenever so I'll be making sure you're out of there before morning. Wouldn't want to others coming in and seeing you here."

  She closes her eyes and gently rubs her forehead with her hand. As she turns to approach the computer again he can just about make out her muttering something under her breath, "Damn Makoto…" but she takes her place at the computer before he can hear any more. The soft clicking of keys drowning out any other words.

  Staring down at the chamber in front of him, his grip tightens painfully. He should probably get in this now… Something hard rises up his throat at the thought. He hadn't really noticed it last time but is almost like the one he'd first woken from. Sure, it's a little more sci-fi but the concept is the same. He scrunches his eyes closed and tightens his death grip on his own body. This isn't the time for his body to be uncooperative.

  She's not going to actually run the program. He tries to reassure his own body awkwardly. You'll still be Izuru. You won't be wiped away and replaced by Hajime all over again. That's what caused this problem in the first place!

  Shoving down any other thoughts he begins pulling himself into the machine. His muscles shake weakly at the exertion but he still manages to pull himself in. He can feel the detectives eyes fixed on him the entire time, as if waiting for him to fail the simple task. As such he makes sure to avoid her gaze the entire time.

  Eventually she clears her throat and the tapping of the keyboard stops, "I'll be watching you in there the entire time to make sure everything is going okay." The unspoken threat doesn't go unnoticed. It's not just his own safety she's watching for. It's not exactly ideal but he knew there was no way she wouldn't want to monitor him the entire time. Privacy has always been a necessary sacrifice.

  "Of course."

  The lump has risen in his throat again, utterly betraying him. It only grows larger as he lays down in the machine. All he can see above him is the ceiling covered in wires, and darkness, and the his hair invading the edges of his vision. It's almost a relief as Kirigiri appears above him, ready to pull down the machine lid.

  "Are you sure you're okay with this?" Her brows are furrowed in an annoying way. Can she somehow see how this is effect his body? She is the ultimate detective... Is she looking down on him?!

  "Of course." The words come out gruffer and more gravelly than he’d been hoping but she doesn't say anything. She just closes the machine lid, firmly sealing him inside.

  For a few seconds he's left there. He's just staring up at the lid. Buzzing overwhelms him as the sound drowns out everything else. He can't hear her anymore. He can't hear anything else. How long is she going to be?

  The panic starts to set in.

  He can feel the lump slowly cutting off his air. Slowly swallowing everything. This was the last view for so many of the others stuck in these machines. What if he never gets out of this again? It's not like the future foundation wants them alive.

  No, this is stupid. What's wrong with him? The answers are worth whatever the cost is, after all he's going to be stuck here with these boring people for the rest of his life. He knows what he's here for and what it’s worth. He knows.

  Then the thankless dark washes over him...

~~~

  Izuru's eyes flicker open and light immediately burns his eyes. Without thinking twice he immediately scrunches them closed again. What the - ?

  Somewhere the shining light beyond he can hear waves crashing and birds chirping. He can smell the salt in the air and feel warm sand under his feet. The beach?

  Pain sears through his mind for a moment. Both hands reach up to his head, knotting into his long black hair and pulling. The sharp physical pain grounds him for a moment. Then the memories come flooding back.

  The Neo World Program is a beach?

  His eyes blink open anxiously but the bright light has died down ever so slightly. It still burns his eyes but he can just about keep them open. As his eyes slowly adjust he can start to make out the world in front of him. The stretching, reaching palm trees littering the shore line. The thundering white crested waves lapping the shores. It looks so…real. Even knowing it is nothing more than a simulation, it’s hard to convince his mind of it.

  “Hello?” He looks around slowly, waiting for something, anything, to move, “Is anyone here?” But nothing but silence greets him. He’d thought there would at least be some NPC’s around or some programs but nothing appears or makes noise. Was this all a waste of time?

  The hot sun is beating down on his thick black hair. He can feel the skin slowly starting to roast under the midday sun. Couldn’t they have at least made the sun and environment comfortable? It’s an uncomfortable level of realism really.

  Taking in the lay of the land, he begins to wander. There’s no indication of where anything important might be so he simply walks around the entire island, taking in the new places and environment. He doesn’t know what he’s looking for but hopefully he will know when he sees it.

  Despite it being quieter and more still than the facility he had just come from, it somehow feels more alive than anywhere he’s been before. The cool light breeze blowing through his hair. The soft sunlight in the light blue sky - not a single hint of the usual crimson colour that stains it. The gentle sounds of insects and leaves in constant movement all around him. A snippet of a time long past. Seeing it now, he doesn't think he likes it all that much.

  Eventually he’s finished scouring the entire island and there’s nothing. Absolutely nothing of use. Sighing to himself - hopefully loud enough for Kirigiri to hear - he continues over one of the bridges onto the smaller island beyond. It's only once he crosses that bridge that he realises where he is. The memory of slowly drifting across the ocean towards Jabberwock Island is still fresh in his mind. Of course they would just model this place on their base… What else did he expect?

  It doesn't take long for that thought to be overridden by a different one. He barely makes it a few steps onto this new island before an almost spectral form appears on the side of the path. A familiar person's form is kneeling down next to the path, folded in on itself as it doodles on the sand with a stick. The puffy skirt he remembers last seeing on it brushing through the sand as it sits there awkwardly.

  Alter Ego. So it survived Junko a second time? Or did they simply manage to recover a version of Alter Ego from before the killing game began?

  "What are you doing?" He asks cooly.

  His feet have stopped moving, stranding him a few feet away from the green flickering form of the AI program. It somehow looks even smaller and more frail than when on a 2D screen.

  "I'm drawing. Do you like it?" It gets up and brushes its skirt down. As it shuffles out of the way Izuru is left face to face with a small sketch of the same Galaga pin that has haunted his dream.

  Does Alter Ego somehow know about his dreams? Did it plant something in him while he was still plugged into it as Hajime? Why else would it draw the damn thing? Where else would it have seen the girl and her pin?

  Doing his best not to look at the drawing in the sand he turns to the AI and approaches slowly, "Are you overseeing this place?"

  Alter Ego looks up at him with large shimmering eyes. "Yeah… Kinda…" It plays with the edges of its skirt, pulling at the digital fabric with flickering hands, "There used to be others but it's just me now."

  He shuffles his weight from side to side. Now he's face to face with the AI he has no idea what he wants to ask. What can he ask with Kirigiri watching on the other side? Dissecting his every word and mannerism.

  "Why are you here? You were all supposed to be free and safe…" Alter Ego looks around and closes its eyes for a moment. "It's just you? Is something wrong? I don't really get any information from the outside these days, I only know what happens in here now." Alter Ego mumbles softly. It looks down at the ground as it kicks at the sandy path. The small dust particles splatter over its shoes, dusting the pristine flickering form.

  "Nothing is wrong. I just needed to ask some questions about the program you ran on us." He draws himself up as tall as he can until he towers over the small form of the AI.

  "Oh. Okay." A bright shimmering smile breaks over their small face. "What did you want to ask?"

  "The others said that the program ended without fully completing. They said that anything that happened in the program wasn't uploaded into our minds. It's not quite true though, is it?" He keeps his voice stern and cold. There's no way he's going to let Alter Ego avoid answering, even if they are on its terf.

  Alter Ego's form suddenly goes still. Its spectral face becoming stern almost at once as it watches Izuru. Studying him although Izuru has no idea what its seeing. He can hear the AI humming softly to itself as the seconds tick by. Dragging this out until Izuru no longer knows what he’s supposed to be doing with himself anymore…

  "No. It's not quite true." Alter Ego sighs from deep within itself.

  For the first time in his life, he can hear deep exhaustion ringing out from an AI. He spent months alongside the Junko AI after making her but she never seemed tired. Despite how well he recreated her, she always seemed just two or three steps away from robotic. Never quite human. Never quite living fully. Just a little too close to the uncanny valley. Maybe that was just a part of Junko herself.

  "Then what did happen? What did you do to our minds?" He draws a little closer but the AI stays rooted to the spot. It just looks up at Izuru - no defiance or fire lighting up its eyes. If anything, it looks soft and empathetic. It takes all he has to not roll his eyes at the sight.

  "The program did end without being complete. Everything was shut down properly without sending the avatars back to your bodies but with the help of the two observers we were able to save some things before the program got shut down."

  "Save some things?" His brow furrows as he considers the prospect.

  After all the work the Future Foundation put in to make this program, is it allowed to simply act on its own like this? To take matters into it's own hands? Perhaps that’s what made it so easy for Junko's AI to get a foothold in the system.

  "Y-Yeah…"

  "Like what? What did you save on the system?"

  "Whatever we could. Anything that was still untouched by Junko's AI." Alter Ego taps its chin thoughtfully as it speaks, "I can show you if you want." The AI suddenly perks up at the thought. It almost looks like there is a sparkle in its eyes as it stands up a little straighter. Uncertainty melting right off of it.

  He barely gets a nod out before the world around him vanishes. Just like that - it's gone. The smell of salt in the air is nothing more than a faint memory in the back of his mind. Instead of the bright tropical sunlight, there's just stark white walls all around him. The only colour in sight is the vivid, still flickering, form of Alter Ego.

  "Here's all the data we saved." Alter Ego meekly gestures to the empty room around it.

  Is this some kind of joke? Nothing but the shiny white surfaces of the room looks back at him. Is something wrong with Alter Ego's programming? But then he stops. Is it really empty? Nothing is physically there and yet -

  He reaches forward slowly and he could swear his hand touches something intangible. Like the empty space is rippling in front of him. Focusing are hard as he can he starts to notice huge strings of code flitting across his field of vision. The more he tries to look at it the more his head begins to ache. Burning the inside of his skull as the pressure begins to build more and more. The world seems to sway around him and his first instinct is to reach out for some kind of support but there is nothing around to lean against.

  "What is this place?" He can't take his eyes off the strange code as it continues to flicker. Drifting in and out of his perception without a second thought.

  "My main database. Or what's left of it. The virus didn't leave much of the programming functional in it's wake." Alter Ego cautiously looks around. Emptiness still lingers in the eyes of the small AI. Something almost akin to grief. In a way he supposes losing part of the program is like losing part of itself.

  "You saved all this right before the system shut down?" He stares at the huge room before him. The lines and lines of code just sitting there.

  He wonders which pieces hold the last remains of Hajime Hinata. A person reduced to vague visible numbers in an empty room and a body which is no longer his. For a moment he cant help but pity the boy. Just for a moment though.

  "Some of it. The teacher observer spent much of her time trying to protect as much of the avatars as possible before they were executed or killed. Anything that was saved of their code was kept safe in here." Not just Hajime's life. It's all the despairs lives condensed into this one indistinguishable mass.

  "You were able to save the others?"

  "I don't know how successful it was but we did what we could with the virus in the system."

  "Could some of that data you saved have crossed over into our bodies when the system shut down?"

  "Based on what I know, it shouldn't have. Nothing should have been uploaded during a system shutdown. I suppose nothing is ever perfect though. Perhaps some things managed to slip through."

  Sighing, Izuru stares out at the room before him. It still ripples and shifts around him. No matter how much he tries to focus, he can never quite fully grasp it. Not completely.

  Tentatively, he takes a step deeper. The code seems to part around him, vanishing into nothing. As he moves through it he realises that although it's still intangible and ineligible, he starts to notice some kind of organising system. Huge portions of code all split into mildly smaller chunks.

  "Is this…?" He mutters more to himself than to the AI beside him. Not that Alter Ego seems to have noticed.

  "Yep. You should be able to tell which is which. It's important to keep them separate - wouldn't want them to get mixed up." Alter Ego giggles innocently.

  You should be able to tell? He reaches forward towards the code and feels something not…tangible…but something vaguely existent hovering there. He can't tell if he's touching something or not. He tries to focus on brushing the floating code and it almost needs to hum and glow under his hand. The name 'Teruteru' suddenly pops up above the rest of the code. It seems to hum with some distant kinda glow. Hm…he doesn't really need to wonder which one was Hajime's code then.

  His own curiosity gets the better of him as he starts wandering down the room, looking at the name appearing above each one. Byakuya, Teruteru, Mahiru, Peko, Hiyoko, Ibuki, Mikan, Nekomaru, Gundham, Nagito, Sonia, Kazuichi, Hajime, Akane, Fuyuhiko. Everyone. They really did save data from all of them then. His hand hovers over the data underneath the name Hajime again. Everywhere the code touches his hand seems to be enveloped in an odd tingly warmth. What a strange simulation this is?

  "Does that help answer what you came in for?" Alter Ego mutters. Its legs are crossed as it pulls gingerly at its skirt. Those big eyes stare up at Izuru once more. It feels…oddly familiar…and yet he could swear he never interacted with either Alter Ego or its creator. He never had any reason to.

  "Maybe." But Alter Ego's eyes suddenly seem to shimmer with electronic tears. Why was it even programmed with that feature of all things? "Thank you." He adds before he's even realised what he said, his body reacting on instinct at seeing the sight. At least it clears the dejected look off the AI's face.

  Alter Ego claps its hands together and grins, "I'm glad I could help with something. I feel like I let you down before…"

  He has to hold back a sigh, "You let me down…?" He's never even seen the AI before so he must be talking about Hajime in the simulation. Everything keeps coming back to Hajime.

  His hand brushes against the code titled Hajime only to be greeted by the soft warmth again. It’s almost…reassuring. Like a heavy blanket surrounding him. Hajime’s memories. His memories.

  "Y-Yeah… I was supposed to protect you all while you were in the Neo World Program and I failed…" A soft sniffling snaps him out from his own mind. Alter Ego somehow seems to have shrunk down on itself. As if it wasn't small enough already.

  He drops his hand down to his side again before clearing his throat and addressing the AI, "Why are you upset?"

  "Because I let you down." Another grating sniffle. He can see it fiddling with its own hands in its lap. Izuru wouldn’t be surprised if the skin of his hands was rubbed raw - well, if it had real hands and skin anyway. He supposes that’s one reason to be glad it is nothing more than code in a fake world.

  "I don't understand… We chose to enter the Neo World Program knowing the virus was going to be uploaded. I don't see how that's your fault." He crosses his arms tightly. It's not like they expected much from the Neo World Program or Alter Ego. If they did, they probably wouldn't have entered.

  "Th-Thank you."

  Why is it thanking him? What's wrong with it? It does know Izuru was the one who uploaded the virus…right? In a way it's almost like he's talking to the creator of the AI himself.

  "Y-You probably shouldn't stay here too much longer. After all, the program might still not be safe…" Alter Ego stops still for a moment, its entire body going rigid. Its hands fall apart from one another and just hang limply at its side, "Unless you have something you wanted to look at…"

  "I…" He hasn’t even started to figure out how to stop whatever is happening to him. Even if their data was backed up does that really explain whatever was going on? And if that is whats caused it, can he even do anything to reverse it? At this point perhaps the damage has already been done.

  He sighs deeply, "I'll leave for now..." Although he doesn't sound convinced as he says it, he already knows that he won’t solve anything by just staying here for hours and hours. It may be better to think things over again in reality…at least that's what he tells himself.

  "O-Okay. You can come back whenever you want if you have any more questions." This time it almost sounds excited as it speaks. He’s starting to wonder if it only has those two expressions and emotions. The whiplash hits hard every time they interact.

  "I will do."

  The words have barely left his mouth before the surreal white room has completely dissolved around him. Once again the soft beach environment envelopes him. That pressure that had been settling over his, ensnaring his mind, is suddenly lifted. For a moment the world swims in front of him at the sudden relief before everything settles once more. Yet despite his best efforts he can only just keep himself from wobbling where he stands.

  Although the sand is warm - no, hot - to the touch, it feels almost cold when thinking about the strange code from before. For just a moment it's like everything around him has shifted. His mind not quite catching up to his body as the sensations overwhelm him. His body taking a few second to process even the mere warmth around him.

  "Are you okay Kamukura?" Alter Ego reaches a hand forward, as if to try and steady him. However he instinctively pulls away before the hand can ever make contact with him.

  "I'm fine. You don't need to worry." He busies his hands by getting them to brush himself down.

  Before Alter Ego can try to touch him again he casually moves out of the way, putting distance between them both. His jaw twitching as he looks the AI up and down, silently taking a few breaths to steady himself once more. There is only so far he is willing to fall in one day.

  "Okay."

  Alter Ego still lingers beside him, jumpy eyes constantly drifting over to him as if magnetised. Surely it knows it's not being subtle but it doesn’t seem to even try to hide the way it is staring at him.

  Ugh…his spine tingles…

  "So how am I supposed to leave this place?" He stares up at the sky above him as if expecting to see Kirigiri's face waiting somewhere above him. But, of course, nothing but blue sky greets him. A complete blank slate. Maybe he should have asked Kirigiri more questions before he entered here.

  "Um, well normally you have to complete the graduation program to leave but since the actual program hasn't begun they should be able to let you out from the control panel outside. I think…" Alter Ego taps its chin softly.

  "Well then… Kirigiri." He tries calling out to the sky again. Does it even matter where he looks? Kirigiri must have had her eyes on him the entire time. She could pick up the pace a bit.

  "Kirigiri…" Alter Ego smiles softly, the light giving its face a soft gentle glow, "Tell her I said hello. It's been so long since we last spoke…"

  He doesn't even have to think before he responds, "I will."

  Slowly darkness overtakes his vision. The world fades away once again until everything is stripped away. The warmth around him is gone in seconds, replaced by an unwelcome coolness. Waves become the hum of machines and the bright sun is replaced with the green glow of the Neo World chambers.

  "Kamukura? Are you okay?" Kirigiri is looking down at him. The green light bathes her face making her look oddly ethereal. Shadows streak across her face awkwardly, highlighting her sharp features. Just what he wants to see as he wakes up…

  "I'm fine." He tightly scrunches up his eyes and tries to flatten himself further against the bottom of the chamber. He's not very successful but it feels better for a moment. The pounding inside his head settles ever so slightly. Just the smallest release of pressure makes him sigh softly.

  "You don’t feel any different to before?"

  His eyes snap open again as he stares up into her hardened face, "I don't think so."

  He’s not certain he would even be able to tell if anything had changed but he at least feels like himself. He is still Izuru for all intents and purpose. For now he supposes that’s enough.

  "Good…" She clears her throat and steps ever so slightly back from the edge of the chamber, "Can you get up?"

  His hands curl around the edges of the chamber. For a second, he can feel the muscles in his arms trembling weakly but it passes quickly and he can pull himself up and out of the machine. Without another word, Kirigiri stays back, watching him with narrow eyes. However as he moves she only gets further and further away. His legs are still as weak as ever but thankfully not any worse than before. As soon as he's firmly resting against the walker he can feel the sensation returning to his legs once again. More of a sharp bite like pins and needles than the apathetic numbness it was when he first woke up a few hours ago.

  "Did you get the answers you wanted?"

  He pauses for a moment. Did he? Did he really learn anything from that data room at all? While he learnt some things, he still doesn't know how it relates to himself and his strange dream.

  "Some." He resigns himself. There will be time for answers another day he supposes. He just needs to be patient…

  Kirigiri doesn't say anything. She simply sighs. He can feel her quietly lingering, eyes sharpened as harshly as ever. Waiting. Just standing beside him like she's expecting something of him. He doesn’t say anything to her though, he doesn’t have anything to say to her. Nothing except,

  “Alter Ego asked me to let you know it says hello.”

  She must have already heard the entire exchange herself but the words spill out as if they have a mind of their own. He doesn’t bother waiting to hear a response - it’s not as if the conversation included him in the first place - he simply grips onto his walker and begins the tedious procedure of dragging himself away.

  As he drags himself across the room she slowly begins to find her way back to her seat and grabs her book in her firm grip. It just sits there in her hand though. She doesn’t even pretend to be reading it. However at least her eyes don’t follow him as he drags himself out of the room and towards their assigned quarters. Bit by bit he puts distance between them until the sounds of her breathing and movement are completely swallowed into the silence.

  Without thinking about anything else he heads straight to the bed. As soon as his head hits the pillow he can feel himself being dragged back into the darkness. No dreams come to greet him this time though.

~~~

26/04 - 09:43

  He's not sure how long it is until he next wakes up. There are no windows in sight, just the now familiar darkness of this room. For a few minutes he simply lies there, allowing everything to wash over him. The soft covers are still draped across him gently as he stares up at the ceiling. Pristine and effectively unmoved from where they started.

  No matter how hard he tries, he can't get the memory of the dream out of his mind. Is this what dreams are like for everyone else? Despite everything he knows about dreams, he's never actually had one he remembers before. He'd be happy to never have another one again if this is what they're like.

  As he lays there in the darkness, he can hear movement and sound beyond this room. Day must have broken since he last went to sleep. It seems the peace has broken with it… Occasionally he can hear the clattering of pans or cutlery off in the distance that are loud enough to make him wonder if they're trying to wake him up.

  But as much as he'd like to stay in here and ignore them for as long as possible, he can feel his stomach growling quietly from under the covers. The smells of the kitchen are slowly invading his room - only worsening the situation. Since when was his mouth this dry?

  Sighing, he pulls away the sheets and drags himself out of bed. It takes a while to get dressed with his shaking muscles but eventually he manages to pull on some clean clothes. Hopefully there is a laundry room in this place because he is going through clothes at a lightening pace.

  His hands keep unconsciously pulling at the fabric of the coarse t-shirt and baggy trousers. What happened to the suit he wore here? It's true he didn't bring much to this place but he did bring the clothes on his back. Even those are gone now though he supposes.

  Still restlessly shuffling in his clothes, he ties his hair up in a loose bun and begins heading out of the room. As soon as the door is open, the sound of clattering and chatter increases ten fold. Straining his ears uncomfortably. If he could covers his ears with his hands he would, but they're maintaining their iron grip on his walker.

  Every little movement seems to burn more than it did the day before. This better sort itself out soon because he doesn't know how much longer he can stand to walk around with the damn thing. For now he just needs to grit his teeth and deals with it…

  "Izuru." He freezes as he hears the familiar voice call out to him. Kazuichi.

  Somehow the boy looks younger than Kamukura has ever seen him. Dark bags decorate the underside of his eyes and his usually knotted pink hair has been drawn up into a ratty ponytail so you can properly see his face for a change. His head is resting on one hand as the other is gripping his spoon and playing with the curry in front of him. Even though everyone is wearing the same cheap clothes as Izuru, just being sat beside Sonia and Fuyuhiko makes Kazuichi look ten years younger and equally more feral.

  As Izuru approaches he grins, almost welcomingly, "I was wondering if you were ever going to wake up." He just huffs in response as he starts seeking out any available food.

  Following his nose he walks past the table where Fuyuhiko, Sonia and Kazuichi are all sitting. A few pans are still resting on the cooker which he immediately begins raiding with as much poise as he can muster given the situation.

  "We weren't sure if you would be coming but we made extra food just in case." Sonia doesn't look his way, still quickly making her way through her own plate.

  He doesn't have the mental space to be grateful right now. He grabs a plate from a nearby cupboard and quickly piles on food before joining them at the table. It's an off-putting shade of brown and a thin skin has formed over the curry sauce but it's not the worst looking or smelling food he's ever had. As long as it provides some form of sustenance it will do.

  He does his best to seek out a seat furthest from anyone else but given the already wide spacing between everyone it's not as far as he'd like. A few seats away from him Fuyuhiko lowers his head and grits his teeth silently. He doesn't say a single word. In fact, he doesn't seem to be doing a whole lot of anything. Looking at the plates sat on the table, Sonia might be the only one actually eating the food right now.

  Ignoring the other three he starts to force the food down. Anything to settle the growl. It could be worse, he doesn't even taste it as it slides down his throat.

  "What do you think?" Kazuichi mumbles quietly from the other end of the table. Izuru can see his eyes fluttering closed with a moment before his mouth opens into a silent yawn.

  He quickly finishes his mouthful of curry before speaking, "What do I think of what?"

  "This place. This situation. The failure of the whole plan. We didn't exactly get to talk about any of this yesterday." Sonia half snorts, her fork clinking loudly against the china plate.

  Unsure of what to say, he just shrugs.

  Another mouthful of food.

  "We can't just stay here for the rest of our lives…" Kazuichi grumbles loudly.

  He's moved on from playing with his food to twisting the ends of his ponytail around in his hand. Eyes completely fixated on Izuru as if expecting Izuru to dance for him.

  At least they're on the same page about something. Where are they going to go now though? What's the point of any of this now Junko has failed twice? Is there any point in saying that to the remnants of despair though? At this point he doubts logic is something they can even comprehend.

  "What? Are you just going to fucking walk out? What the fuck are you going to do about all the future foundation members inevitably waiting for you?" Fuyuhiko growls but his head seems to dip even lower. It's almost as if he's trying to sink into himself. Trying to retreat back even further despite there being nowhere to go.

  "Better than just sitting in here and waiting to die…" Kazuichi finally tears his gaze from Izuru to focus on Fuyuhiko. "You got any plans?"

  With that Fuyuhiko finally looks up at the rest of them. His once perfectly styled hair, now grown out a little longer from their time in the program, hangs over the tightly wrapped bandage that now covers his blue eye. Sealing it away from the rest of them.

  "They are probably listening to us talk…" Izuru sighs before eating another mouthful of food.

  "Perhaps we should speak about this some other time." Sonia quietly sets down her cutlery before sighing deeply.

  And when will that be? It's not like they're ever going to be left unsupervised in this place. He doesn't bother saying anything though. It wouldn't be anything more than a waste of his oxygen.

  As if trying to prove his point, Fuyuhiko immediately shoots up. The high pitched screeching of his chair legs on the polished floor makes Izuru's already feeble bones vibrate uncomfortably. At the same time Fuyuhiko's small hands slam onto the table top until he's bending over the table to glare at them all.

  "The plan failed. It's all over. I don't know what part of this you bastards don't fucking understand! We knew this plan was the end of the Ultimate Despairs, whether we won or lost. You just need to fucking accept it."

  He gives the table one final parting kick before he practically falls onto his own walker. His entire body trembling but he refuses to let that stop him as he heads off down the corridor to his room. His food still lays practically untouched on the table.

  "You think these guys are going to be able to keep the future foundation away forever?! Eventually they're going to find us and kill us." Kazuichi shouts after him but the only response he gets is the slamming of a door in the distance.

  He has to scrunch his eyes closed against the loud throbbing of his own head. Dealing with the hunger in his room on his own might have been the better choice…

  His mind begins imagining any possible future they have in this place. He's spent time with most of them before - at Junko's behest - but he only ever stayed with Kazuichi long enough to settle into any kind of rhythm. If this is how mealtimes are going to be he can why that was the case. He almost misses the isolated cell they gave him in Hope's Peak. At least there he could eat in peace.

  "Hmm… He could have at least finished his food." Sonia scowls and sits up even straighter.

  Completely ignoring Sonia to his left, Kazuichi turns to growl at Izuru, "You agree with me right?! Junko would want us to keep up her work! She would never just give up and let hope win!" His voice hitches halfway through, eyes shining even from across the table.

  Youthful bright energy still oozes out of him - even after Junko. His eyes are still full, lacking the hollowed appearance of his peers. In the back of his mind he wonders if this is some kind of twisted hope in itself. If this desire and push to leave is nothing more than thinly veiled hope.

  "Kazuichi -" Sonia mumbles quietly but Izuru is already moving. He does what he should have done from the very start and picks up his plate before leaving the room.

  This time the other two don't say a thing as he walks away. Soon the door has closed behind him, sealing him away from the rest of them as best he can. And yet as the door seals he just stands there, breathing in deeply. After a few seconds he starts to hear the chattering resume beyond his walls but thankfully it's too quiet to make out.

  No one bothers him again as he quietly finishes his food in his room. Eventually even the chattering stops as Kazuichi and Sonia also go their separate ways and he's left alone in the quiet. Just as things have always been.

  The dirty plate is still sat untouched on the side. Even after the others have seemingly left the communal area he stays tucked away in his room. With nothing else to do he busies himself with the exercises the doctor gave him yesterday. And everything is peaceful and still.

Chapter Text

27/04 - 07:01

  Knock. Knock. Knock. 

  The thumping at his door brings him out of the darkness. For a few seconds he has to lay there, blinking in the darkness, before he remembers what's going on. 

  He must have fallen asleep but there were no dreams to haunt him this time. Although he tells himself there is a chance it was just an odd one time thing, he still doesn't allow himself to believe it. For now he should just be glad he was spared last night. 

  Knock. Knock. Knock. 

  Oh yeah… He'd almost forgotten. 

  He shakes his head gently to try and chase off the dull edges of sleep. It does next to nothing but he still drags himself out of the bed. As soon as his feet hit the ground, pain sparks up his body but he pushes through it until his hands are clenched around the walker once again. He'll have to resign himself to more of those exercises today…

  Knock. Knock. Knock. 

  He clenches his jaw painfully. Is it Kazuichi? He can't imagine the others being so pushy to interrupt him like this. 

  Taking a deep breath in he pulls open the door, already prepared to slam it in Kazuichi face. However when he finally gets a view out of the room it's not the pink haired boy he sees waiting for him on the other side. Instead the familiar pony tailed form of the younger Kirigiri is waiting for him. She's dressed formally with a tight skirt, perfectly ironed blazer, and smart heels all perfectly lined up with not so much as a wrinkle out of place. Somehow she's managed to look even stiffer and sterner than the last time he saw her. 

  "Is this-?" He starts but she cuts him off before he can even finish his sentence. He can see her gaze moving ever so slightly up to the camera in his room. 

  "We're holding a meeting in the communal area. You might want to get dressed before you join us." She gives him a once over, her eyes dragging on his disheveled attire. 

  She was the one who woke him up! He chuffs grouchily but closes the door on her at once. Letting it slam in her face without a second thought.

  And yet, instead of moving away, he remains right by the door. Holding his breath as he listens to the sound of her slowly moving away. Footsteps gently clicking on the hallway floor as she moves along, likely to the room of the next person over. 

  He waits for a moment before fighting with himself to put on the same dull, uncomfortable clothing that fills his draws. If they want him to come then they can wait for him to come. He even takes the time to brush through his hair before carefully pulling it out of the way in a loose bun. Making every movement drawn out and leisurely. 

  By the time he leaves his room, everyone is already gathered quietly on the couch. As usual, Sonia and Fuyuhiko are dressed as smartly as is possible given what they have to work with. Their hair looks fresh and perfectly brushed. On the other hand, Akane and Kazuichi look like they literally just rolled out of bed. Hair knotted and all over the place. Clothes awkwardly rumpled and creased in all the wrong places. 

  With the exception of the blonde boy, none of the future foundation members seem to have been perturbed by it. They're all just sat patiently, small cups of tea on the coffee table in front of them as they watch Izuru enter. 

  "You finally decided to join us…" The blonde boy mutters before taking a sip of his tea. Izuru doesn't miss the look thrown his way but he just elects to ignore it.

  "Byakuya, please." Naegi holds a hand out to quiet his colleague but of course the boy, Byakuya, just casually bats the hand away. His nose scrunching up but he doesn’t so much as glance in Naegi’s direction as he does so. 

  "Fine." He grumbles before taking another sip of his tea. With his haughty expression and crossed legs, he looks up at the rest of them. Nose still wrinkled up in disgust. 

  “I'm sorry, I know we weren’t particularly present yesterday or even the day before but things have been…difficult.” The whole group shares a look as Naegi speaks but none of them make any moves to interrupt him. 

  Looking at these guys sat here before them, it’s hard to feel much confidence at all. These people are supposed to be the ones protecting them and yet they look so small and young as they are swallowed up by the couch cushions. Hardly the most reliable or strong figures Izuru has ever seen. Kirigiri said they recovered their memories after their ‘killing game’ but he can't help but wonder if those lost years and memories still affect them to this day. 

  "The future foundation have been closing in. They found out about the situation with Junko and are determined to deal with it in their own way." Kirigiri clears her throat, cold and hard as ever as she takes over from Naegi without missing a beat. The severity of her gaze settles the room, focusing them all just like that.

  Beside him he can feel Sonia tense. The slight shift in the couch is barely noticeable as she realigns herself. For a split second, some strange part of him feels obligated to reach out and settle her but it passes as quickly as it came. 

  He’s not the only one who can sense the shift in the air. At once Asahina breaks into a wide, wobbly, smile. The bright sparkle of her grin making him seethe. The heat bubbling up inside him once more, ready to break free.

  "Don't worry! We’re not going to let them do anything to you! We made you a promise and we're gonna keep it!" He doesn't think he's ever heard anything he believes less. There's only so much optimism and bright words can accomplish. 

  "Pft. Sure." Fuyuhiko rolls his eye and rests his head on his hands, "You can't really expect to keep them away for the rest of our lives. No matter how good the five of you fucking are, you can't stop a whole organisation indefinitely!" 

  It's not like the future foundation has done much to foster faith in them - they failed at stopping Junko, failed at saving the 78th class, and were unable to do anything about the ultimate despairs until they literally handed themselves over. But even so, it's still impressive enough that they haven't managed to kill the whole lot of them yet. Despite the incompetence, you would think the sheer numbers would eventually win out, sooner rather than later now. He doesn't want these people to be their only line of defense when that time comes. 

  "N-No, but we can stall them. We just need to convince them you're worth saving. If we can show them you're no threat to hope then maybe -" Naegi stutters ever so slightly, his expression beginning to weaken bit by bit. 

  Izuru can't help but snort at the outlandish, optimistic claims. He sounds just like he did in the killing game. The restoration of his memories changed nothing then. It would almost be impressive if it wasn't so illogical. 

  "But what if we are a threat to hope." This time Sonia cuts Naegi off as she remains frozen with her perfect pristine posture. He can see the tension building in her jaw as she grits her teeth furiously. Like the words are fighting her own body to burst forth as a harsh hiss.

  "You're not." Kirigiri's voice is steady. Pure unflinching certainty has settled across her voice. Just the one word is almost enough to convince him. 

  "But -" 

  Any objections Sonia has are promptly cut off once again by Kirigiri, "I will admit that I can't always read people perfectly but I'm confident in my readings of you all. You might not see it in yourself yet but we can see it."

  Logic stands in direct opposition to everything she's saying. At Junko's behest he's seen everything the Ultimate Despairs have accomplished. In search of something other than the boring confines of this world he's seen first hand what has been wrought by not only the sleeping people across the hall but by the very people beside him. There is no way these Future Foundation members don't know what they've done. Yet a few weeks spent in the past suddenly has everyone around them reeling with hope and pure distilled belief. And he thought Kirigiri was supposed to be the more logical one. She may not be her father's daughter after all. 

  "Even if you prove us wrong, you still deserve the chance. With Junko gone you can all start over - as long as you actually want to." Normally he'd doubt anyone could actually believe such a thing but it's different with Naegi. Izuru can't help but wonder if he truly can be deceitful. Is he even capable of that? They called him the ultimate hope but even that alone makes him want to snort. 

  Junko is gone… He repeats the words over and over in his head. Even though he’s been reminding himself of that ever since he woke up, it still feels unsettling each and every time. She's been present in his life for so long that the thought of her being destroyed forever seems foreign. No more AI's or safety nets this time. Gone. Something tight and heavy lifts inside his chest at the word. 

  Junko is gone. 

  He smiles. 

  No one else is smiling though. Their stony grey face are immovable and unflinching on all sides. He's surrounded. 

  "So what, you're just gonna tell the others that and they're suddenly going to forgive us and let us live? You know what we've done right?" Panic hits the edges of Kazuichi's voice. Without warning he slams one clenched fist down on the coffee table. Tea splatters over the edges of the cups as puddles on the wood below. 

  Izuru finds himself staring at the small puddles of liquid. It's like he's been entranced as he watches the light shimmering on the surface. No one makes a move to mop it up though. If he couldn’t hear and see their breathing he'd almost wonder if they were even still alive. 

  "Leave the convincing to us. It might as well be what we do at this point…" Byakuya's scowl only grows with every word.

  Like some spell has been broken he finally looks down at the splashed tea. He doesn't think he's ever seen someone look more tired and he supervised Kazuichi throughout the first killing game. 

  At least Asahina jumps into action, grabbing a nearby paper towel and dabbing at the liquid. As if her moving shakes the others heads clear, Hiro and Naegi finally drop to their knees to help her out. Yet even then Kirigiri and Byakuya never take their eyes off the despairs. Well trained watch dogs, huh? 

  Eventually everything has been soaked up leaving them with nothing more than a soggy pile of now brown tissues. He can see them slowly congealing as they lay there untouched on the table. He has to refrain from storming over the bin himself and chucking it all out. 

  "If anyone can do it, it's Makoto!" The boy with the gravity defying hair slaps Naegi, on the back with a tea stained hand - he can see droplets of the tea spray off on impact. Naegi’s eyes blow wide as he rubs his back gingerly but smiles anyway. He doesn't even attempt to move away from his strange colleague. 

  As if to offset the violence, Asahina wraps an arm around Naegi to pull him into a gentle half hug. "You got that right!"

  He can't help but think of Junko in that moment. The ultimate despair and the ultimate hope. Seeing him on the TV and for the brief time before the program, he'd never quite seen the connection between him and Junko but he thinks he gets it now. In a way they are his Ultimate Hope's. His followers. His believers. He may not be charismatic or particularly genius but he has some kind of pull. Something intangible that lingers around him. 

  "I getcha. You're trynna get us to just roll over and follow whateva you say, right. To put our lives in your hands." Akane leans back on the couch until she's sunken as far as she can into the material. All the tension melting away, "You don't have the best record, y'know." 

  At once Byakuya leans forward. His tea is abandoned on the table as he closes the distance slightly between him and Akane. He isn’t even trying to hide the tension in his jaw as he grits his teeth. 

  "You put your lives in Junko's hands. We're plenty more qualified than her." He spits out words like ice. 

  Izuru wants to disagree. He wants to shut Byakuya up with a scathing remark but there isn't anything to say. They have proven twice now to be more capable than Junko.

  "Byakuya…" Kirigiri only says the one word but it takes immediate effect. 

  As if nothing had ever happened, Byakuya leans back in his chair. It does nothing to hide the seething disapproval but at least he backs away. Despite his recline, he doesn't once break eye contact with them all - someone needs to teach him how to play poker one of these days. Izuru can't imagine him ever being successful in business meetings with that attitude but that's not a concern anymore at least.

  As if to prove his point, Fuyuhiko immediately stands up, "No, keep talking you bastard!" 

  Fuyuhiko's face is tinged red, lighting up his delicate features. Years of The Tragedy have sharpened his round features but even now, with his smattering of scars, he looks small, delicate and youthful. Especially when sat beside the withered Akane and exhausted Kazuichi. 

  Izuru looks to the side in time to see Sonia's hand snake over to silently take Fuyuhiko's. Although he discreetly tries to pull away, she holds onto him with an iron grip. Refusing to let go for even a moment.

  Like a bloodhound on the trail, Naegi jumps in again. Always ready and waiting, "Look, I get it, I do. You don't really know us and we're asking you for a lot of faith. We don't intend to let you down though. We've gotten you this far, right?" He looks almost…stern. Or at least as stern as someone like him can look.

  "If you believe in us so damn much why not just release us? We can protect ourselves better than any of you can. You only caught us because we let you." Fuyuhiko pushes the limits as usual. Izuru can't help but stare at the slight up tilt of his lips as the flickering glow of fury burns brightly in his eye.

  "You know why…" Byakuya practically deflates. Izuru gets the feeling he’s barely refraining from face palming. If he looks closely he thinks he can see a vein slowly bulging on the boys forehead. Izuru finds himself almost fixated on the sight. On the mundane dullness of such a reaction. 

  Despite knowing he should pay attention to everything said, he can't help but feel himself slowly drift away from the conversation like many times before. Nothing can justify putting in the effort to listen to the constant back and forth anymore. Well, nothing other than the ever present anxiety of allowing these fools to have these kinds of conversations on their own.

  "You said so yourself… Junko is gone now…" Sonia's voice wobbles ever so slightly at the end. It's the first time he has seen her letting anything slip. Her arms slowly moving to wrap around herself. 

  "Is that all you called us here for? You heard us talking yesterday and called this whole session just for that?" Izuru tries to soothe his now burning skull with a few light massages of his temple but it doesn't relent.

  When did he get this tense? It's like every muscle in his upper body has stiffened awkwardly at once. An odd part of his brain can't help but self consciously wonder how it must look to everyone else, but their faces are unchanged. They look no more or less focused on him than they did before.

  "We were going to have this meeting anyway. We know that for this to work we need to be honest with you all about the situation and keep you updated on the progression of the situation - especially since we might have to leave you here soon in order to sort things out with the others." Once again, Naegi is showing absolutely no sign of lying and yet Izuru can't bring himself to believe the boy.

  Izuru knows the future foundation. He knows them all too well - even if they have no idea who he is. He dares say he knows them better than Naegi and his crew, having been present beyond the school walls since the beginning of the end of everything. And even if he didn't, Ryoko's - or more fittingly: Junko's - talent is built into his mind anyway. No matter how much Naegi believes he knows about them and how they will react, Izuru knows more. Telling him that isn't likely to achieve anything though.

  "Me and Hiro are gonna leave tomorrow to try and delay the other future foundation members for a while. We don't wanna abandon you while you still need our help and protection but it's the best we can manage until we can convince them to give you guys a chance!" Asahina gives them a hearty fist pump which looks better suited to Naegi if he's being honest.

  The future foundation must know she and Hiro were involved in all this by now. A talent isn't required to tell them that it won't end well. For their sake he hopes they aren't killed on arrival. 

  "Yeah! You can rely on us, don't worry!" He searches Hiro's voice for any kind of hesitation or anxiety but somehow he still sounds confident. Hopeful even. 

  "Me, Kyoko, and Byakuya will stick around here for you guys as long as we can though!" 

  It isn't exactly the most comforting news. Their sheer confidence speaks more to delusional idiocy than bravery. Although is there really much difference between the two.

  Akane snorts loudly and stands up unsteadily, "Great…"

  He'd thought he was struggling with the weakened muscles but Akane looks like a light wind could blow her over. Every inch of her body shakes as she shuffles forward. It's a miracle she's managed to stand without buckling. A miracle or perhaps her own undying stubbornness.

  They're all fixated on her as she stumbles her way forward and out of the room. Everyone silently waiting for the moment she's going to inevitably fall over but it never comes.

  "A-Akane -" Kazuichi tries to reach towards her, as if trying to yank her back towards them before she rounds the corner but Fuyuhiko is faster. 

  "Just leave her." He grips the mechanics arm in a death grip, keeping it frozen awkwardly in mid air. They can all hear her slam the door as she disappears into her room, "Was that all you had to say?" 

  Izuru sits back in his chair, watching it all play out before him. He keeps an eye on each of them in turn but - with the exception of Kirigiri - they're far from proficient at hiding their feelings.

  "For now, yes." Byakuya all but rolls his eyes. He doesn't even wait for his companion's before making his move. While everyone else is still sat down, he's already half way across the room with his elongated legs.

  Naegi glances over his shoulder at the slowly receding figure of Byakuya as he speaks, "W-Well, I also wanted to mention that I have access to files and footage from the Neo World Program if any of you wants to see if they trigger anything. We don't really know if anything carried over to your bodies but it might be worth looking at." 

  Izuru freezes for a moment. It's no surprise that they would have that kind of video footage but it still somehow catches him off guard.

  He's never enjoyed watching himself on camera - he's done a pretty good job at avoiding them all together - but how would it feel to see Hajime on film? Someone else walking around in his skin. He supposes the boy must have films of himself out there - Hopes Peak would surely have plenty themselves - but he's never cared enough to look for them. Why would he? Still…a small part of him does wonder out of curiosity. He can't have been completely incompetent if he survived over all the others.

  "Memories of ourselves in some simulation killing game…?" Kazuichi stiffens and leans forwards ever so slightly. Hanging off Naegi's every word as his forehead gets more and more wrinkled.

  Naegi laughs awkwardly, forcing it a little too much for Izuru’s liking, "They might not be the most pleasant memories but maybe the reminder of who you used to be will be helpful in some way… You never know until you try…" 

  Of course he knows their true intentions here: to try and finish the work of the program they made. Still, do they really expect them to actually take up the offer? Who knows of any memories they recover would be real anyway? It's not uncommon for the human mind to create false memories around video footage or stories of the past. 

  However, apparently not waiting for responses, the others are already slowly rising out of their chairs. Like a herd, they awkwardly follow in the path Byakuya left for them.

  "Good luck you guys! I'm sure you'll recover really well." Asahina peers over her shoulder to wave to them as she leaves the room. He can't say he's going to be sad to see her go.

  Just behind her, hidden nearly out of sight by the others, he manages to spot Kirigiri. She's quietly looking back at them all. No, not quite. She is looking back but not at the others - she's looking back at him.

  But then, just like that, she rounds the corner and disappears. The others follow just after, their voices just about audible for a few seconds as they move further and further away. Heading off to who knows where. 

  Just like him, everyone else stays completely frozen. It's only when the sounds of them have long since vanished that they dare to relax, sinking into the couch bit by bit.

  "Ugh! Thank fuck they're gone…" Fuyuhiko throws his arms behind his head casually. He takes a huge dramatic breath in before splaying out on the couch as far as he can with the rest of them sitting here too. 

  It seems even that isn’t enough though as Sonia suddenly shuffles right into him. Trying to make space for Fuyuhiko's new positioning. While he does his best to move as far away from her as possible, it's useless. There's only one thing he can do: without a word he pushes off and stands as best he can. His legs wobble but with a hand on the arm rest stabilising him he keeps himself upright. It's better than being pressed against the others at least…

  "Tell me about it." Kazuichi mutters, completely lost in his own world still. 

  "There’s no fucking way they're going to be able to keep us alive. We're just sitting ducks here." 

  The vibrations from Fuyuhiko slamming his fist down against the couch spread all the way along its surface. He can feel it through his own arm as he struggles to keep himself upright. It certainly isn't helped by Sonia trying to pull herself up too, almost knocking into him until she is fully standing. Ignoring everyone else as she begins walking off just like Akane had a few minutes ago. 

  "Hmmm… you might be right…" Kazuichi mumbles but it's clear all his focus is focused on Sonia as she makes her way towards Akane's room with a little more grace than the other girl had.

  "Akane -" Sonia's dainty fist taps against the door of Akane's room softly, "I noticed you seem to have not eaten since we arrived here. I was going to attempt to make some food if there is anything you would like me to make…" Nothing but silence awaits her, "Akane?" 

  Following in her footsteps, Izuru quietly makes his way over to the corridor. This would probably be a good time to get himself some food but he doubts he could force food down, even if he wanted to. However, it's curiosity that keeps him frozen in the corridor, watching the seemingly permanently sealed door to Akane's room.

  "Just leave it, Sonia. She's not going to come out…" Fuyuhiko throws his head back painfully and groans at the ceiling.

  "Y-Yeah. She's pretty committed to staying in there." Even Kazuichi mumbles without much hope. 

  Nevertheless, none of their words are going to shift Sonia at all, "And so I should just let her starve in there?" Sonia chuffs and folds her arms tightly to her chest. 

  "N-No -" 

  What are you going to do? Drag her out and force food down her throat?" Fuyuhiko finally joins them standing up. "It's Akane. When she gets really hungry she'll get herself something." 

  Izuru is almost jealous at the steadiness with which he holds himself. He's as sturdy and dexterous as ever before while the rest of them are still wobbly messes. Is this one of the benefits of a small height or is it just the tenacity of a yakuza?

  Shaking his head, Izuru finally turns to let himself into his room. If Akane was going to let anyone in she'd have done it by now. Anything more is just an exercise in futility. He would rather just relax in peace within the confines of his own room than waste time out here. 

  "Fuyuhiko -" The sound of his door knob turning seems to be enough to catch Sonia's attention. Forgetting all about Fuyuhiko, she rounds on him instead, "Kamukura, where are you going?" 

  He lets out a deep sigh. If he was truly commited, he could just follow Akane's example and lock himself in his room before Sonia can stop him. What could she do to stop him? The idea most definitely sounds appealing - it worked so well for Akane after all. Does he really want to have to listen to her constant knocking though?

  "To my room."

  "Well, I was wondering if you could impart me with some of your culinary knowledge. I am not the most skilled in the kitchen and it may be nice to have some pleasant food for a change. It might even encourage Akane to eat." Sonia wanders off on a completely unrelated spiel. He's beginning to wonder if she has a focus problem as Akane seemingly escapes her pestering with ease.

  "You'd be doing us all a favor honestly…" He can hear Fuyuhiko's quiet muttering from the other room but he doesn't even attempt to make his voice any louder.

  People always come begging when they need something, don't they? Of course, because he's made to serve, isn't he? He bristles uncomfortably, his grip on the doorknob tightening viciously. People don’t change.

  "There are probably recipe books somewhere around here. I’m sure you can find something suitable." He yanks open the door with a little more force than is necessary. 

  Despite how well she attempts to cover it up, he can hear Sonia flinch back. She lets out softest yelp he's ever heard as she shuffles backwards on unsteady legs. In the face of everything he still feels a little…bad at the sound of her sudden distress. It's not enough to stop him from slinking back into his room though. Writing it out of his memory at once. 

  As soon as the door locks behind him he takes a deep shuddering breath in. They better not begin attacking his door like Akane’s. After all, aren't their rooms supposed to be their private 'safe' places? It feels strange to call it that in this situation though he supposes. 

  Beyond these walls he can hear the others still talking softly but no knocking follows. That's as much as he can ask for. Slowly even those get quieter as they presumably move further away from the corridor.

  Hours pass uninterrupted any of the others. He has no idea what they're all doing and has no intention of finding out. Things have always been this way and that's how it is best.

  It's not exactly the most stimulating but that's nothing new. He probably should attempt to find some books or entertainment in this place if he's going to stay here any longer. Nonetheless it gives him more than enough time to try out all the exercises they were given. He's not sure if it is really working but it must still be better than nothing.

~~~

27/04 - 16:00

  “Kamukura…” Unsurprisingly, it's Sonia's voice on the other side, “Are you still in there?”

  He pauses for a moment. He could just stay quiet. What would she do? Knock harder? Shout louder? He doubts she's going to try and force her way in considering how she left Akane be earlier. 

  And yet - 

  “Yes.” He calls back curtly.

  There’s another pregnant pause before her soft voice calls through the door, “Can you let me in? I brought food.”

  At the sound of the word his stomach twists. He'd barely even thought of food all day, it's not like he's been burning much energy after all. Now he's aware of his stomach he probably should eat though. It would be difficult for his muscles to recover if he doesn't take care of it.

  Despite his earlier conviction, he carries himself over to the door and pulls it open for her. It's no surprise to see her stood elegantly waiting, a bowl of noodles in hand. She's as put together as ever, hair perfect and tumbling down over her shoulder. She looks too pristine for this place.

  Without a word he steps aside to allow her into the room. For a few seconds they just stand there awkwardly as he waits for her to walk by. It's a relief when she finally finds her way in and perches delicately right on the edge of his bed.

  “Kamukura -”

  “What do you need?” He clears his throat, cutting her off as he takes the bowl of food from her in the blink of an eye. 

  “I - I just wanted to check on you. We have not seen you all day and you disappeared into your room yesterday too… I thought you might not have eaten since yesterday so here is some food we made. It might not be perfect but at least it is something.” She brushes a gold strand of hair behind one ear and stares at him and the food in his hand.

  Does she want him to eat it right now? His stomach growls with the smell of food right there under it. Whether it's any good or not, it's better than nothing.

  “Thank you.” 

  Trying to ignore her prying eyes, he slowly makes his way through the food. It's far from good but he makes sure to finish it all anyway. Food isn't something to be picky over but he supposes if he does want high quality food then he's going to have to go do it himself. 

  She doesn't say a word as he finishes the food. Thankfully she's stopped watching him, instead examining the room as if there's anything to see. It might as well be a blank slate but somehow something about it must be of interest to her. Still it's a relief when he finally finishes, gripping onto the bowl tighter as he sets it down in his lap. Eating with a spectator is far from his favourite thing. 

  “How are you doing?” Her hands are knotted in the fabric of her trousers. He can see her nails picking at a single loose thread which is gradually increasing in size with each delicate tug. He has to resist the urge to reach forward and pull her hands off to spare the fabric. Hopefully some of her clothes have escaped the attack. 

  “How am I doing?” He arches an eyebrow. What's the point of these kinds of questions in this situation? 

  “Y-Yes. How are you feeling since leaving the Neo World Program?”

  “I have been better I suppose. I've been worse as well though." He leans back and crosses his arms awkwardly. He knows all too well that his words are about as unhelpful as they can be but the last thing he wants to do right now is tell her everything that is spinning around in his head, "Did you just come here to talk about it?" 

  "Not exactly. I was just wondering if everyone was feeling this way. I wonder if something truly happened to our minds because of that program." It's only now that she abandons her piece of thread. Her throat bobbing as she swallows hard. 

  He's glad it isn't just him being affected by all this, it can't simply be his modified brain reacting badly to the program then. That's good - or at least it feels like that is the better option. Does she get those weird dreams too?

  Without any warning, blinding pain shoots through his skull like a white hot poker poker. The more he thinks about the dream, the stronger the pain in his head. It’s like his own body is trying to punish him or something. 

  Searching for an escape he sets down his chopsticks and bowl on the bedside table so he can lie down on the bed. Blocking out Sonia as much as he can as he does so. Laying there, his thick black hair fans out underneath him making for a very uncomfortable pillow. Staring up at the ceiling, he scrunches his eyes closed. It's not much better but the darkness relieves some of the pressure building in behind his eyes.

  He can still hear Sonia shuffling about for a few seconds before she lies down beside him. The sound of her soft breaths fill the room. Normally he would have assumed the sound would grate against him but this time there is something comforting about it. 

  For a few seconds they both lie there on his bed. Bit by bit the aching in his skull bleeds out, leaving his head throbbing but bearable. His hand drops to his side once again as he breaths a heavy sigh. Surely he must look crazy to her but he doesn't care enough to change her mind on that.

  Cracking one eye open, he turns his head to look at her, "Maybe. It is novel technology after all. They said they hadn't tested it at all so who knows what the side effects could be." 

  This most certainly wasn't one of the listed side effects that he was warned about. Then again, knowing this was an effect wouldn't have dissuaded him from entering. It didn't even stop him entering again the other night.

  "Maybe we should never have gone in that place…"

  "Probably."

  He gently rubs his forehead in an attempt to relieve the last of the ache. It's not particularly effective but at least the small circular motions are somewhat soothing. A small moment of peace. That is, until Sonia sits up suddenly.

  "Are you going to see the videos Naegi has?" She asks and looks down at him. It's surreal to be staring up at her now towering figure.

  He supposes this must be the true reason she's here. Curiosity getting the better of her. He's not surprised that at least one of them wanted to go see the videos. Someone will always take the bait he supposes.

  "I am guessing your question means you are going to watch them." He carefully pushes himself up off the bed until they are eye level once again.

  "Perhaps. Are you not interested?" 

  He practically snorts at the suggestion. "Not really. No. It was boring watching the 78th class so I can't imagine it being any more interesting to watch the 77th class."

  Seeing people kill each other isn't all that interesting. Especially when someone like Junko can predict it all before hand. 

  "I do not like being in the dark about everything."

  He can't say he disagrees. Being in the dark will only put them at a disadvantage but how much would they really learn from the killing game? Naegi and the others never seemed to be lying when they told them what happened - even if it was a surface level explanation. Is it really worth watching through the entire killing game for information that might not even be there? 

  "While you were gone we discussed the possibility of having group meals - at least for a little while. The others may be listening to our conversations but I believed there is still worth in staying in communication with one another. Especially if the Future Foundation could arrive any day."

  "Who is 'we'?" 

  "Kazuichi and I… Fuyuhiko locked himself in his room after you left this morning." Sonia clears her throat and looks down ever so slightly. 

  Perfect. What a merry little band they are. 

  Of course him, Kazuichi, and Sonia eating a few meals together will be an awful spanner in the works for the Future Foundation. However will they be able to overcome that grand plan? He wants to roll his eyes but holds himself back. 

  "Can I count on you to attend our meals?" She meets his eyes, some remnant of a spark dancing somewhere deep in the blue of her eyes.

  "Perhaps…" He mutters with the wave of his hand. There's no point turning her down right now, she’s not exactly going to accept anything he says.

  “W-Well I… I look forward to having you join us.” As she slides off the bed to stand once more she can’t help but turn to curtsy at him. At this point he can’t even tell if she’s aware she’s doing it or not - it might just be muscle memory kicking in, “I-I will leave you be now. However, I do believe that staying locked in your room alone is not good for your health. Regardless of everything that has happened, we are all each other has now. With Junko and the rest of them gone, we must have each others back first and foremost. If we allow ourselves to die then everything Junko and the others worked for shall be gone for good.”

  How is he supposed to answer that? Is she looking for the truth? He can’t imagine she wants him to stand here and explain all the reasons he couldn’t care in the slightest. As usual it’s just a sweet lie she’s fishing for. Pointless.

  "That may be so." 

  "P-Please think about it at least." She leaves him with those parting words before finally slipping away, sealing the door behind her.

  He lays down again in the darkness, staring up at the ceiling. Sonia’s words and the thoughts of the Neo World Program still laying over him like a smothering blanket. Snuffing everything else out just like that. 

~~~

27/04 - 20:17

  Even though hours have passed, as he sits there in his room Sonia’s words keep coming back to him. Washing over him like a wave every time he thinks he’s started to regain some semblance of stability. 

  He had made his mind up. Regardless of what Sonia said, there was nothing be be gained from seeking out the memories and videos. Nothing at all. And yet, with nothing else to distract his mind, he can’t seem to put the idea to bed. 

  By the time he finally gets up from his bed, slipping out of his bedroom door, his body might as well be moving of its own accord. Lead by his own weak impulses as he struggles to control himself any longer. His limbs twitching anxiously as he creeps out of his room and into the communal area as best he can without his walker to lean on. It’s hardly elegant or quiet but thankfully there is no one else in sight. 

  Damn Sonia getting into his head… 

  He might not want to have his memories tainted by videos that Naegi shows him but perhaps there is something else he can do. An alternative solution to the situation he’s in. That’s how he finds himself tip toeing out of the main room and across the hall once again. 

  And yet, as soon as he enters the room he’s greeted by a presence he hadn’t quite expected… 

  "Hin- I mean, Kamukura? What are you doing here. Should -" Asahina jumps up, eyes wide as she looks at him like he has just teleported in or something. 

  Coming here he had been expecting to see Kirigiri, but he hadn’t accounted for the presence of the tanned girl leaning back in one of the chairs. Well she had been leaning back, now she's stood up stiffly, hand reaching back to tap Kirigiri as if she somehow would have missed Izuru's entrance.

  "It's okay." Kirigiri reassures Asahina and holds her hand with a light squeeze, "I was just briefing Asahina before she leaves for the future foundation." 

  "I see…" Izuru nods slowly.

  What should he do now? It's not like they're asking him to leave but are they just going to stare at him the entire time?

  "Is there something you needed?" Asahina clears her throat and twists back to look at Kirigiri for a moment.

  "I was simply coming to see the machine again. I presume that is fine by you." Izuru gestures to all the pods around them. At the same time he leans so he can look right past Asahina, watching Kirigiri instead as their eyes lock onto one another.

   "I don't know if you should really keep doing this." Kirigiri slowly stands up. Ignoring her colleague, she brushes past and stops right before Izuru. Behind her he can just about make out Asahina gaping like a fish and looking around frantically.

  "Why not?" 

  "We still aren't sure if this is really safe now. Without anyone who actually understands the mechanics we have no way of ensuring it's safety anymore. If we ever could in the first place."

  He wants to believe she's just making excuses but, even now with his mind somehow scrambled, eyes don't lie. Honesty and openess spill over her eyes. It's how he imagines normal people would have looked at each other. Despite everything, he has faith in his own read of her.

  "It was perfectly fine last time I went in." It hurts listening to how much he sounds like a petulant child - she's the one being unreasonable though. She let him do it last time and nothing has changed between now and then. If anything it's more likely to be safe now. Is she only objecting because Asahina is here?

  "The last time?" Asahina half gasps, still not quite catching on. Her mind scrambling feebly to try and put everything together. 

  "And so it will always be completely safe? I know you don't believe us but we really do want your safety. Are the vague possibilities of answers worth the risk?" Kirigiri tilts her head to one side as if that will somehow help her get a better look at him.

  "Sorry, but what are you talking about?" Asahina asks desperately.

  She tries to insert herself by running up to them both but they keep her blanked out. Still focused on one another as Asahina twitches in their peripheral vision. Can't she let them talk for a while without needing to be involved? 

  "You may not understand machinery like this, however I do. I know what I am risking and what I stand to gain. I wouldn't take action unless I knew the rewards outweighed the risks." 

  Izuru does his best to block out Asahina as he explains but she apparently doesn't get the message, "Guys! Stop talking like I'm not even here! What are you going on about?!" She places a hand on both of their chests and lightly pushes them both aside enough to place herself directly in the middle. 

  His immediate reflex is to grip her wrist and twist as hard as he can but he reins himself in. Instead his nails bite the palm of his hand and his teeth clench. Creaking inside his skull. Anything to squash down his impulses before he does something he would regret...

  Logically he knows her hand is nowhere near as manicured or dainty as Junko's but he still somehow feels her red nails pressed up against his chest. Just the slight touch of a hand feels like her hands roaming over him, dragging on skin and clothes, again. 

  What the hell is going on?!

  Thankfully her hand disappears from his chest in the blink of an eye and his entire body heaves a shaky breath. It's like a mere touch had sucked the oxygen out of his lungs. He can only hope he doesn’t look as weak and pathetic on the outside right now. Thankfully Asahina and Kirigiri are still locked in conversation, not paying him any mind at all. The one good thing the girl has done so far.

  "- the Neo World Program again the other night." 

  "You WHAT?! What did Makoto say?!" Asahina shouts, throwing her hands up in the air. He finds himself tracking their movement and taking a small step back. It's still not enough to push him fully outside her arm reach but it's something.

  "He doesn't know." 

  "WHAT?!" While his body screams at him to cover his ears at the screech, he doesn't dare move his arm. Remaining as still as possible in case any movement would draw attention to himself once again. 

  Surely someone else hears that. Great, now the whole circus is going to come storming in. Why couldn't he have just stayed in his room? He should have known better.

  "I deemed it safe and kept a close eye on him the entire time. If we're going to try and help save them then we can't just treat them like prisoners. We need to give them a chance to learn, understand and change." Kirigiri finally looks over at him. He's starting to think they see their class as some kind of weird charity project. Then again as long as it gets them to help, what does it really matter.

  "I - I guess. But still…" 

  "I suppose you're going to want to monitor my activity in the program again." Izuru tries to cuts off the other girl again.

  Before she's even answered he's made his way towards his pod once more. Hands reaching down to press into the cool hard surface. The sooner he gets in and out of the program the better at this point.

  Despite Asahina being nowhere near him now, he can still feel those sharp manicured fingers pressed against his chest. The shaky twitching feeling rippling within his own chest like a caged animal thrashing against its confines. He really needs to get into the machine before his body does something stupid.

  "Yes. Of course. If you're worried then you can observe as well, Hina." He's not looking their way but he can here them chattering and Kirigiri tapping away at the keyboard. 

  Just get in. Just do this one thing without needing help or looking pathetic. He's not even sure he can manage that at this point… He tries to ignore their muttering as he grips the edge of the pod and drags himself up and inside. The soft green glow surrounding him once again. 

  "Observe Kamukura? I… Well… I guess I could… Makoto probably won't be mad, right?" 

  "I highly doubt anything we do will ever make him mad." 

  "Fine. But -"

  Rolling his eyes, he can feel his shoulders stiffening. The palms of his hand dripping with sweat where the edge of the machine digs into it. With every passing second it gets harder and harder to force himself to take in a breath. Air abandoning him just like that.

  "Okay, can we just get on with it then? You can talk while I'm in there and don't need to listen to you." He groans and sends a piercing glare back towards them both. There is only so long he can put up with this back and forth. 

  "Hey, you -!"

  As if somehow sensing Izuru's unease, Kirigiri nods firmly and offers a miniscule smile. Or maybe that was just a twitch of her lips. "Of course."

  Thankfully he doesn't need to hear another word from either of them before the machine boots up and he's dragged under once again.

~~~

  "You came back again!" Alter Ego greets him with a chirpy smile, holding a hand out towards him to help pull him up. Still, Izuru simply let's it stay hanging there as he looks it up and down fiercely. He's had more than enough of that for one day.

  "You're already here?" He looks around only to find the same bright, tropical beach from last time. Exactly the same. As perfect as ever. 

  He'd been expecting to get at least a little time to himself and yet here Alter Ego is immediately. Perhaps it's just Izuru's mind playing tricks on him but he could swear the AI's colours somehow look more...vibrant today.

  "Yep! I saw you being uploaded so brought myself here to greet you." It grins warmly, filled with pure innocent light.

  Who knew an AI program could feel so…alive? He's seen Alter Ego on the video footage and spent more time than he'd like with Junko's AI but this feels different. He always knew they were good at copying behaviors and patterns from people but Junko's AI never felt this full of life. Maybe that was a Junko problem not an AI one.

  "I see…"

  "I'm so happy to see you again but what did you need?" Alter Ego claps its hands together and watches Izuru expectantly. 

  He'd thought he'd just be able to wander about on his own - he hadn't expected having to explain himself. It was naive and optimistic of him to expect anything different though. 

  "Well…I…" Why did he think this was a good idea? Damn Sonia for getting in his head and making him look like an idiot, "I just wanted to look around his place." He finally relents and explains himself. Somehow it sounds so much dumber spoken aloud. This was a mistake.

  "Look around? You just want to see the islands?" Alter Ego tilts its head to the side softly, tapping its chin gently.

  "Yes."

  "Why?" Alter Ego's innocent voice already grates on him. Is it too late to back out now?

  "Do you always ask so many questions?" Unable to keep himself in check, he snaps a little too fast. 

  Immediately Alter Ego recoils, shrinking down on itself. Just like the person it was modeled after, small shimmering tears begin building up in it eyes. Threatening to fall at any given moment. 

  Oh great…he's managed to make an AI cry. This program is what beat Junko?

  Sighing softly, he takes a deep breath, "Sorry…" He tries to soften his voice as much as he can. While it still sounds stiff and awkward but it must be good enough as Alter Ego stops sniffling for long enough to blink away some of the tears. 

  "It's…fine…I’m not annoyed with you." He clears his throat and automatically softens his voice. His body naturally follows the ‘comfort’ protocol as he scans the AI up and down, detecting its weaknesses, "I just wanted to see if I remembered anything by being here." 

  "You…want to…try a-and r-r-remember…your t-time…h-here?!" Alter Ego barely manages to even form words between awkward sniffles. If it was anyone but Izuru here, he doubts they would catch a word of that blubber.

  "Yes." Izuru nods solemnly and makes himself look meek and vulnerable. Staring at the world around him like a lost puppy.

  After a few more awkward gulps and some furious eye wiping, Alter Ego tries to speak again, "But Kyoko and Makoto should still have video files for everything that happened. Why don't you just watch the videos?" Its voice is still shaky and its eyes are bigger and soppier than Izuru ever thought was possible. 

  "I would rather remember myself than rely on videos." 

  Like a switch has been flicked, Alter Ego suddenly begins nodding enthusiastically, "Well I can show you around then!"

  While he had been aware of the beach theme from the first time he came here - its not exactly subtle - seeing the extent of it stretched across the island is almost impressive. The entire time Alter Ego narrates the purpose of each location - as if he needs to be told why a supermarket and airport are on this fake vacation island. 

  He would be lying if he said he was paying attention to any of the individual words. Instead he’s drinking in every environment, waiting for something, anything, to stand out amongst the set dressing. Hajime must have spent some amount of time around these places but not even the tiniest hint of déjà vu is anywhere to be seen.

  “Where did we stay?” He cuts through whatever Alter Ego was saying about the airport luggage carousel, waiting sharply with rapt attention. 

  “U-Ummmm…you mean where you all s-slept?” Alter Ego trips over its words, eyebrows slightly upturned.

  “Yes. I presume we weren’t all put to rest on the planes each night.”

  Of course that gets Alter Ego frantically shaking its head once more in its rush to correct him, “N-No! We decided to set you all up in the hotel so you could have the most comfortable experience possible.”

  He almost snorts. Clearly that worked out well.

  “Can you bring me there?”

  Clearly receptive to any engagement it can get, Alter Ego promptly whisks him away, leading him further down the dusty beach pathway towards the largest building as far as the eye can see. Not that that is saying much given the sheer lack of large buildings on the deserted island. The future foundation could have made anything and this is what they went with. They did the best they could he supposes…

  “You all stayed in these cabins, each of you had one to yourselves.” Alter Ego puffs out its chest, gesturing down the pathway at the ramshackle beach style huts lining both sides of the path. 

  Okay, he might be underselling them a little. There must not have been an ultimate architect to consult with this part of the simulation but it’s perfectly suitable all things considered. At least they hadn’t forced the group to share some kind of dormitory, instead the cabins stretch out in both directions making for a cozy little neigbourhood by the poolside. They have to take the small wins where they can get them. 

  Alter Ego leans slightly towards him, eyes narrowed curiously, “Do you want me to show you your own cabin?” Alter Ego asks tentatively. 

  “No.” The words spill out a little too fast for his liking. Alter Ego immediately shuffles backwards, shrinking down by a few inches. He sighs deeply and rubs his temple, “No, its fine. I just want to see what I can remember of this place.”

  “Hmmm…well you shouldn’t remember anything of this place.”

  “Yes. I shouldn’t...” He takes a deep breath in and stands up even straighter. Looking down both sides of the housing. Narrowing his eyes uncertainly. 

  Hajime's housing. All of their housing. One by one, he moves down the pathway to his right, brushing his hand slowly across each door. Reaching out for something. Anything. 

  Come on. Come on! 

  No matter how much he touches them he feels nothing but rough wood under his fingers tips. Any defining features of each hut have been removed from the outside. Blank mail boxes sit empty in front of each hut. 

  “This is useless.” He shakes his head. 

  What is he even thinking coming here? How far he has fallen in just a day or two.

  There’s a slow creak of wooden boards behind him as Alter Ego creeps ever so slightly closer. Is there even any point in questioning the logic of boards creaking underneath an AI creation?

  “I don’t mean to interfere, but I can unlock all the doors if you would like to look within each one. It might not be helpful but it could be worth a try just in case.” Alter Ego asks softly, biting down on its bottom lip subconsciously.

  “Okay.”

  That’s all it takes apparently. Just like that all the doors swing open dramatically giving him a good view of everything beyond. 

  Emptiness. Empty room upon empty room. Just like everything else here, all traces of human existence have been vanished away. Well this is going well… Not for the first time he sit here wondering what he was even thinking when he came here. This is the last time he listens to Sonia about anything. 

  But even so, he slowly moves back down the path he just came from, stepping into each room as he passes. They all feel emptier than the one before. Beds neatly made and waiting silently.  It feels like a hole has been carved into each one and the guts have been yanked out until only the hollow husk is left behind.

  The more he stares at blank canvases, the more his head starts to throb. A harsh fiery burn that sizzles along the scar on his head. It’s almost as if something is trying to tear out of his skull to fill the void. With Alter Ego, Kirigiri, and Asahina probably fixated on him he doesn’t dare reach up to inspect the scar. Instead he balls his hands into a fist and clenches his jaw tightly. The pain will pass. It always does. 

  Sighing, he shuffles out of the room and into the last one on this side of the pathway. It looks exactly the same as all the other ones. Just as still, just as empty. And yet…

  He takes one step in and breathes in the stale air. He could swear there’s something else lingering in the air; the scent of crisps and energy drinks still heavy despite the lack of everything around him. Perhaps its the pain of his head or the desire for this not to be yet another waste of his time but he could swear he’s been in here before. As if responding to something beyond himself he’s drawn forwards towards the corner of the room. He subconsciously steps over clutter that is no longer spread across the floor until he’s staring blankly at the corner. 

  There was an arcade machine here. He’s sure of it! He can practically feel it pressing against his hand as he reaches out. 

  “Are you okay?” Alter Ego asks slowly, it’s head leaning through the doorway while it’s feet remain firmly situated across the threshold. 

  He clears his throat and shakes his head ever so slightly. “Of course I’m fine.” He stares around the room once more but the scent in the air has dissipated and he’s just staring at nothing once again, “Who’s room was this?”

  “Um this wasn’t your room. It was a girl named Chiaki’s room. Chiaki Nanami.” The words come out as nothing more than a soft whisper. Breath waiting to be whisked away by the slightest wind. 

  He’s never heard the name before and yet the rippling pain slicing through his head only grows stronger at the sound of the name. If she wasn’t one of the despairs then she must have been one of the observers Alter Ego mentioned. 

  “I see.” 

  Nanami. Nanami. Nanami. 

  He chants the name in his mind as if he’s hoping it will undo whatever is going on with his head. But with every repetition it only gets worse and worse. Scrunching his eyes shut he storms out of the room, pushing past Alter Ego to breathe in the crisp cool air outside. He finally gives in and brushes his hand against the scar, feeling the ridges brush against his finger tips as he slowly moves his hand all the way around his skull. Almost instantaneously the pain fades away as if it had never been there to begin with. Nothing is left but the soft ridges under his fingertip. 

  “Um…Sorry if this is out of place but…did…did you remember something?” Alter Ego’s brows are knotted together as it hovers by the doorway, staring at him uncomfortably. 

  He immediately drops his arm back to his side, “No.” He shakes off slightly and rolls his shoulders back, “So, we should probably move on to the rest of the tour.”

  Alter Ego tries to regain its smiley cheery attitude once more but it clearly wasn’t designed for acting. For the entire rest of the tour it’s unable to stop staring at him. Eyes cutting through the back of his head at every turn. He has to shove down the desire to snap out at it. He has to keep it together so Kirigiri doesn’t drag him out of here. He’s under no delusions that Kirigiri would immediately take him away if he said even the slightest thing against the small AI program, regardless of how much it was deserved. 

  No matter where Alter Ego drags him, the feeling from before never returns. He sees beaches, libraries, hospitals, motels, even factories and theme parks, but its all foreign. Abandoned places in a fake world. He stares at every room in every corner but it’s all utterly pointless. 

  “I’m sorry you didn’t get what you came here for.” Alter Ego stares down at its feet as it speaks. 

  “Don’t worry. It was a long shot. The program erased everything after all.” Besides, its not like there was absolutely nothing to gain from this. 

  Nevertheless, he doubts there’s anything he could say to dissuade Alter Ego’s worries. Instead he gives it a soft wave before being dragged back out by Kirigiri and Asahina. 

~~~

  “Welcome back to the land of the living!” Asahina’s grinning face is unfortunately the first greeting he gets as he opens his eyes. 

  He’s starting to appreciate Kirigiri more and more as time goes by. At least Asahina will be gone soon. This is only temporary. 

  She reaches her hand out towards him, still watching him softly. He’s about to knock the hand away and drag himself out when he feels the stiffness radiating through his body. Just a few hours in the machine and he had already forgotten his predicament. 

  Sucking in a deep breath, he takes her hand and lets her drag him from the machine and into his walker. His legs shake as he presses himself up against the metal frame. His hand slowly begin turning white as his grip grows tighter and tighter.

  “Did you learn anything?” The soft, serious voice of Kirigiri drags his gaze upwards. 

  With Asahina still bouncing about, he almost hadn’t noticed Kirigiri lurking in the darkness. She’s resting against the wall, her ponytail slung over one should and one leg propped up against the wall behind her. A notebook is still in hand and her pen is tucked away behind her ear. He’s torn between his curiosity wanting to sneak a peek into its contents but also not caring enough about whatever Kirigiri has written about him. It wouldn’t be the first time.

  “Nothing of use.”

  And neither of them try to stop him as he shuffles out of the room.

Chapter Text

28/04 - 10:45

  He’s not sure what he’s thinking when he steps out of his bedroom and into the corridor once more. The sound of voices immediately hitting him as he lingers in front of his door. With the angle the corridor is at compared to the main sections of the communal area he can't actually see the others but even so he can pick out each voice. They're hardly difficult to differentiate.

  He should turn around and go back to his room…his memory isn’t that short term that he would forget how the mere thought of being around them had drained him yesterday. And yet as he stands there now, listening to them, he can’t convince himself to turn around and return into the room. His body subconsciously being drawn towards them. 

  Perhaps it's the grumbling of his stomach that drags him from his darkened room but he's gone far longer without food before… If he was truly hungry there is nothing stopping him from simply waiting until the others leave the kitchen before sorting himself out far better food. Surely they will leave sooner or later. 

 Perhaps he simply doesn’t trust himself to be alone with his own mind when it is seemingly so volatile right now. While he doesn't remember any dreams from the last night, he still woke up shaking violently, with sweat dripping off every inch of his skin. Even stripping down and scrubbing clean couldn't get rid of the sticky feeling all over his skin. 

  Or perhaps it’s the boredom beginning to gnaw at him. Getting under his skin until he can't stand it anymore. Not wanting to go back to sleep he had tried to keep himself busy with his exercises but there's only so much walking back and forth he could do until the boredom began to accumulate. Boredom is hardly anything new, but today it seems to have his limbs twitching more and more the longer he stays in that room. 

  Either way, regardless of the excuse, it results in the same thing. After hours of listening to their voices, muffled through the walls that separate them, he is forgetting all of his resolve. Stumbling as stably as he can towards the common area before he remembers why he decided against this in the first place. 

  At least doing the exercises for most of the night seems to have done some good. Walking now he doesn't even bother taking the walker with him. Relying on only himself as it remains abandoned in the room once more. Sure, his legs still wobble uncomfortably every other step but it’s not enough that he needs to have it supporting him for such a short journey. 

  "Ha - Kamukura, you came." Sonia breaks into a smile at the sight of him.

  Of course, she's already sat at the table with Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko, small cups of tea waiting in front of them. Fuyuhiko and Sonia both have small bowls of food in front of them - some kind of ramen by the looks of things - while Kazuichi has nothing but his tea and a small notepad and pen he’s writing with quietly. Their expressions are light and smiles touch their lips but the bags under their eyes have only gotten darker overnight.

  "You asked me to." The words come out far more weary and resigned than he meant them too. Still, it does nothing to damper Sonia's expression though.

  With slow and purposeful steps, he makes his way over to join them. Everyone is bunched together at one end of the table giving him more than enough space to find an appropriately distanced seat. However, instead of taking advantage of that, he pulls out the chair beside Kazuichi to sit amongst them all for once.

  As soon as he sits down, Kazuichi's hand settles on his back out of nowhere. The pen and notebook now abandoned to one side as if it had never been there at all. Heavy warmth ripples across his back at the soothing motion, yet he has to tense his body to stop himself from flinching back at the sudden contact. Then, just like that, he pulls his hand away leaving Izuru sat there stiffly his mind still racing to keep up.

  "I made the food today so it probably won't be as bad as yesterday." Fuyuhiko chuffs, his jaw still clenched, as he gestures to some pots on the counter. Izuru doesn't go to get any though. He doesn't even move.

  His stomach silently churns but he keeps ignoring it. Instead his hands wrap softly around the small teacup that Sonia slides over to him. The heat stings his hands but he only grips it tighter. The dull throb slowly chases away the empty feeling in his stomach at least. And yet it does nothing to distract him from the still firm presence of Kazuichi looming at his side. The boys pink hair still bright and obnoxious, filling the edge of his vision. 

  Trying to seek some reprieve from Kazuichi, he looks over his shoulder to see three bowls stacked beside the sink but nothing else. There's even an optimistic untouched teacup in the middle of the table.

   "Akane didn't come out again?"

   Sonia lowers her head slowly and stares determinedly into her teacup. That bad, huh? He can't say he blames her. No matter how much they worry about her she always managed to survive on the brink of starvation before. If it gets really bad she'll find herself some food. He doesn't have the energy needed to worry about her at the moment.

  Nevertheless he turns around in his chair to try and catch a glimpse of her still tightly sealed room. The door is just out of view and yet he doesn't need to be able to see it to know that nothing would have changed. Has she left of her own free will at all since arriving here?

  "Nah. She’s being a bitch and won't come out her room." Fuyuhiko growls in a low voice. His grip on the teacup visibly tightening at the same time. 

  "Fuyuhiko…" 

  But despite Kazuichi's tentative plea, the hard edges of Fuyuhiko's expression don't shift even slightly. In fact it only makes things worse as Fuyuhiko's narrowed eyes round on Kazuichi. Tension writhing through the room until they can barely breath out of fear of disrupting the tentative balance.  

  So it didn't even take ten minutes before he regretted his decision… He saw this coming and yet he chose this path for himself. This time he can't even blame them for this. 

  He doesn't understand how Junko could stand working with these people. Then again, she wanted them to all die and be replaced with herself so maybe it does make sense.

  "Do not worry. We will continue attempting to access her room and give her some food." Sonia's smile isn't even mildly convincing though. No matter how much he listens to her, it does nothing to relieve the pressure slowly choking out the room. Normally she has a relatively good poker face (all things considered) but it's worse than Kazuichi's right now. 

  Izuru stares down into the tea and tries to imagine any scenario in which Sonia’s naive ‘plan’ would be successful. Honestly they would have a better chance if he just broke in and force fed Akane but that seems like more effort than it's worth. More effort than they've ever wanted to put into her before. Maybe this is their own ways of distracting themselves, like him and his trips to the Neo World Program.

  "Sure." Fuyuhiko grumbles but he doesn't keep arguing at least.

  As if they're all on the same wavelength they each take a sip of their rapidly cooling tea in perfect synchronisation. He can still feel Kazuichi watching him from the corner of his eye but he doesn't bother addressing it. What would be the point? 

  Kazuichi is the first to break the silence as he sets down his teacup, "It's Nagito's birthday today, you know." Instead of looking at them, he looks up at the ceiling. Distracting himself within the plain white surfaces. 

  Nagito…

  The white haired boy comes to the forefront of his mind at once. His tattered clothes. The red nailed hands he'd seen once before. The deranged, shallow eyes of a broken and destroyed boy. Unlike the others he rarely saw the other boy before that boat journey… 

  In spite of that, there is one other memory that flutters to the forefront of his mind. The bright determination and certainty of the boy he'd once met - even if just in passing. The pungent smoking smell of metal and gunpowder in his nose. The crack of a gun and the thud of a body. He'd been with the strange girl that Izuru still doesn't understand that time too.  

  Then a new memory rises to the surface to join it. The crackling flames and pink stain from his dream a few days ago. The pierced white shirt. 

  One hand reaches up to clutch at his head. There’s a sharp pang as his nails break skin but he still doesn't relent. The stinging of his hand on the tea cup was nothing compared to this new burning in his head.

  "Izuru?" He just about notices the approach of Kazuichi's hand before it reaches his arm this time and he subtly shifts his position to avoid it in time.

  "I just have a headache." He mumbles casually while he lays his hands on the table gently. Splaying his fingers to try and maintain some semblance of control. 

  "Sure." Of course he can hear the roll of Fuyuhiko’s eye even if spots are beginning to dance in front of his eyes, blurring his vision. Nevertheless he just acts as if he never heard anything within Fuyuhiko’s tone.

  "Nagito…I do not think I was aware that this was his birthday…" Sonia mutters and stares down. A light pink colour brushes her cheeks. He can't imagine Sonia being so unaware of other people's birthdays like that. She always appeared to be very aware of others - for better or worse - when he did know her.

  Even when he was supervising the ultimate despairs he never actually saw Nagito. He was already being supervised by the young children Junko kept around after all. From the beginning he was separated from the group - never meeting up for any of the joint ventures the other members organised. It might not be so surprising that no one but Kazuichi remembers his birthday if that's the case.

  "Me neither. It's not strange though, it's not like we ever celebrated it." Fuyuhiko's words lack their normal bite. In fact, if you asked Izuru, it sounds more like regret than any kind of scathing remark. 

  "I guess he can't really have birthdays anymore…" Kazuichi chuckles weakly, the light not quite reaching his eyes. 

  For the first time Izuru finds himself turning to look at the other boy. He watches him slowly trace the rim of his cup with a callused finger. The jittery bounce of his leg under the table is more than a little familiar to Izuru. However there are no wrenches or screwdrivers anywhere - the Future Foundation members made sure of that - so he's left awkwardly twitching in his chair. As if on instinct he grabs the pen and paper and begins scribbling down something instead. 

  And yet, almost as soon as he starts, Sonia reaches over and grips his wrists, stilling him, "Kazuichi! It is not like they are dead." The words are stilted as they leave her mouth since her jaw is tensed, the muscles twitching. He's almost surprised that she can speak clearly at all. 

  Izuru feels the instant desire to shuffle away from them or leave altogether but instead he stays rooted to the spot. Eventually they'll back off like everyone else. Eventually.

  "Why waste our time pretending they're ever going to wake up?" Kazuichi stiffens and yanks his wrist from her grip as fast as he can. Dropping the pen and letting it roll slowly towards Izuru. 

  It's only as Kazuichi picks up his tea that they can see how the liquid jostles within the confines, threatening to spill at any second. He finds himself transfixed once again, watching every movement of the liquid in the cup. 

  And yet, instead of watching Kazuichi, Sonia slowly leans back in her seat. Either consciously or unconsciously mirroring Kazuichi’s movements by reaching forward to take a sip of her own tea. Even when she finishes her sip she doesn't remove the cup from in front of her face as she begins to mumble.

  “Well, what if we could bring them back?” 

  The room has never been so quiet. Not a breath. Not even a heartbeat. 

  She can't be serious? There is naivety and then there is this. If he didn’t know better he would think she was somehow existing within a different reality to the rest of them. 

  “Don’t be fucking ridiculous.” Fuyuhiko scowls once more, his jaw clenched viciously. Despite his words, there is something within his tone which tells a different story, “You heard all those bastards. We shut everyone down when we were in that damn world. None of them can come back from that. Everyone is long gone by now no matter what we want to do. Don’t say crap like that!”

  Everyone. There’s no ambiguity about who he’s really talking about. 

  “But we have Kamukura, correct? You can do anything you put your mind to! We’ve all seen it.” Sonia suddenly lurches forwards, her tea spilling over the edge at the sudden movement but she doesn’t even look towards it, “You were designed to be able to do anything so surely you could at least try something. If anyone could it would be you!”

  Her eyes are swimming as she stares into him. It’s not like she’s the coldest and most distant person he knows but he’s never once seen her cry. She’s never even been close. There’s something jarring about seeing the light dance in her eye, all her hope being directed towards him. It makes his skin crawl violently. 

  “Leave him alone Sonia.” Kazuichi grips onto his arm protectively, pulling him out of Sonia’s line of sight - or at least trying to considering they are all simply sat around the table, “You can’t put that kind of pressure on him. Even if it was possible, which it isn’t, its not fair to try and guilt him like that.”

  “I am not wrong though, am I?” Sonia readjusts her gaze towards Fuyuhiko, refusing to back down, “Do you not agree we should give it a go if we can, Fuyuhiko?! We could bring them all back to us. They could be eating with us right now!”

  Could he? He’s never even thought about it. Not even for a moment did his mind consider the possibility. 

  Ever since Naegi, Kirigiri, and the others told them it was impossible he’d written off the idea entirely. Should he have? He isn’t stupid, he is fully aware of what he was created to be. Collective knowledge placed in one person. Their ‘hope’. Funny, he’s finally living up to actually be the hope they designed him to be. He has the knowledge of everyone who created this machine so shouldn’t he be using that for something. 

  The stubborn part of him immediately bucks at the thought. Why should he do even attempt to do this? It’s not like these people deserve to be saved, they were happy doing this. He doesn’t even know them. Would the future foundation members even want him to do this? Does he even want to do it? What for? Who for? 

  “That’s not fair!” Kazuichi snaps. Izuru can practically see the vein bulging on his forehead. Teeth gritted as he hisses through them. Baring them at Sonia without missing a beat. 

  “Kamukura-”

  “No! Sonia, drop it!” 

  Izuru closes his eyes tightly and reaches forward to grab Kazuichi’s notebook and pen. Avoiding everyone’s gaze he begins sketching on an empty page absentmindedly. His pen drifting slowly across the page. The lines don’t matter. The words around him don’t matter. Thoughts rattle through his mind as he drifts further and further away from the conversation.

  Why is he even entertaining this idea? Sure, he might be the only person who stands a chance but that doesn’t mean its possible. Why waste time giving her - any of them - hope when there is none to be found? What’s the point? This isn’t his job, he can do whatever he wants to with his life.

  “No matter what, I cannot drop it! I do not understand why none of you even want to try? We have known them for years. I know we have not exactly been close for a while now but ever since we began high school we have all been together. Perhaps Izuru is different because he barely worked beside us but,” her heads snaps between Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi now, “you must at least have some attachment to them from before all this!” 

  Sonia’s face is bright red, tears decorating her usually pristine and porcelain skin. They’re not even pretty tears, instead the tears are large and sloppy as they claw their way down and splatter harshly against the table below. 

  There is no dignity behind any of it and yet it’s the first time he feels himself recoil at the sight. His body tensing as the pit in his stomach twists. The sight of her crying like that stirring something foreign and incomprehensible deep inside of him. These last few days have been filled with new things and yet this feeling might be his least favourite so far… 

  “Where did all this come from?!” Kazuichi stands up so suddenly that the chair underneath him goes scattering off. Clattering loudly until it is laying askew on the floor. 

  The sound is enough to make both Sonia and Fuyuhiko flinch. While Fuyuhiko freezes like a deer in the headlights, holding his breath, Sonia lowers her head. Shrinking as he watches her breathing begin to stutter. The shimmer of her eyes still just about visible as the tears hold on for dear life.  

  For a moment all four of them remain like that. Frozen in time. Kazuichi still towers above them, his hands planted roughly on the table as he applies pressure to the surface. Every breath shaking raggedly. 

  Only Izuru remains sitting up straight. Refusing to flinch as he stares at the room around him. The only sign he has seen any of this at all his his own heartbeat hammering against him. Rippling throughout his entire body just like that. 

  Seconds drag on to what feels like eternity. And yet, no matter how long they stay like that, Izuru refuses to be the one to break the silence. 

  In the end it’s Fuyuhiko who crumbles first. His eye darkening for just a moment as his brows furrow together. Wrinkles taking over his forehead right as he turns to stare Sonia up and down. Something dark and vicious flickering behind his sharpened eye.

  “Wait! You watched the fucking tapes, didn’t you?!”

  All the pieces suddenly click into place. Hell, she basically told him she was planning to yesterday, he just didn't think she would be so fast... While he was off with Alter Ego she was off watching through all the footage. What else would she have been doing?

  “Sonia, did you?” Kazuichi uncharacteristically lowers his voice. Legs crumbling underneath him as he leans his weight on the table to support him. The chair to far away to provide any kind of relief.

  “Why are you all saying it like it is a bad thing? We all should have watched it! I do not see why I am the weird one here!” Sonia reaches up and aggressively dries her cheek with one sleeve. But with her eyes still churning out more tears it doesn’t do much other than make her cheek even more red. 

  “We can’t just believe anything they show us.” Kazuichi sighs and shuffles around the kitchen to grab a tissue. With a deep sigh he drops it down in front of her. There was no point though. Before she’s even wiped one cheek its already soaked through. 

  “You would understand if you watched it. I can assure you that they did not tamper with it at all. I remember everything from that place now. You would all remember too if you watched it!” As she pleads, her voice breaks. Cracking as her ususally composed words dissolve into wheezes. Breaths drowned out by the sounds of her own sobs. 

  She looks desperately around at each of them, searching for anyone to back her up and yet finding nothing. No one. Sure enough, as he feels her eyes reach him he avoids her gaze. Turning right back to the paper as he continues on with his mindless drawing. If he doesn’t look up he can pretend he isn’t listening to her. If he doesn’t see her eyes… 

  “If you did you would also want to do everything you could to save them! Their lives were wasted for nothing. Gundham, Mahiru, Ibuki, Nekomaru. Nagito…” He doesn’t dare look up but he can hear her pause for a moment and take in a breath, “Peko. Chiaki.” 

  Reflexively Izuru looks up, his heart stuttering for a moment as the pain radiates across his mind once more. If he didn’t know any better he would think they had done something to his mind to purposefully trigger this kind of response. 

  “I’m leaving.” Fuyuhiko growls and practically throws himself off his chair to storm out of the room. Yet as he leaves he is unable to hide the shimmering in his eyes. At least not from Izuru. 

  “But -” Sonia opens her mouth to speak but Kazuichi cuts her off by holding a single shaky hand up in front of her. 

  “Look, I think that’s enough for today. We just need…some time. Give us that at the very least. It’s a lot to consider.” Kazuichi sighs and his head falls into his hands. Slowly he massages his temples making small circles on either side of his head. 

  For a moment it takes him back to the last time they sat like this. At the end of a long day they would both sit together, huddled in the dark basement at the academy, covered in oil, grease and sweat. Nothing but the two of them alone. The only light coming from the TV they were using to keep track of Junko’s progress upstairs. In those dark silent moments Kazuichi would coax himself to sleep curled up on a mat on the floor, slowly rubbing his temples like a small child in the darkness. 

  Not even two years have passed and yet somehow Kazuichi has already aged years. Maybe even decades. That curled up child is long gone. 

  “Okay…okay…. I will not bring it up anymore but you must know my stance.” Sonia nods softly and gives the both the smallest bow. 

  “I’ll try to talk to Fuyuhiko…” Kazuichi grumbles and stands up, dragging Izuru up with him, “Come on, we all need a rest after that.” 

  As usual Kazuichi hauls him away, not even giving him space to make his own choices. Nothing new there then. But before Kazuichi can even get them past the door way they hear Sonia call out one final time. 

  “Kamukura. You left this.” He twists his head around to peer over his shoulder. In her out stretched hand is the notebook he’d been sketching in and she’s kept it open on the same page. 

  “Oh, it’s not mine. It’s Kazuichi’s so give it to him.”

  “Fine.” She shifts it over to hold in front of Kazuichi instead. Before he can take it from her she pauses, keeping them all locked in that moment, “But before you both tell me to stop hoping and give up, look at this and then try and say it to me.” 

  She shoves the book into Kazuichi’s hands and then walks away out the front door and down the hallway into the depths of the building. While Kazuichi is busy studying the paper, Izuru’s eyes are unable to do anything but follow her disappearing form. Flinching ever so slightly as her door slams closed. 

  It’s only as Kazuichi reaches over and messily tries to tug at his sleeve that he looks over, “Dude, you drew this?” 

  Just like that, Kazuchi holds up the notebook for Izuru to see. It only takes a split second to tell what he is staring at. What his mind had brought onto the page. Once more Izuru finds himself staring at the girl from his dreams. Her galaga pin neatly clipped into her hair and her lips upturned in a gentle smile. 

  This time as his eyes meet her's, a name flutters to the forefront of his mind too. It's Chiaki Nanami staring back at him. 

~~~

28/04 - 14:17

  “Back again, Kamukura.” Kirigiri's now familiar voice is almost soothing at this point. As soothing as a voice can be by his estimations anyway. At this point he is simply surprised she hasn’t asked him to leave yet. 

  As usual she’s sat neatly behind the desk but this time a small cup of tea is set out next to her. It looks a little too much like the tea cups all of them were drinking out of earlier for his liking. While it is true that they are all in the same building so likely have the same china, he still suspects that isn’t all there is to it. Just how far has Sonia been going with all of this? 

  “Yes. Is there a problem with that?” He crosses his arms around his chest, the pressure digging into his ribs as he narrows his eyes. 

  It’s just become a routine. He knows full well there is nothing for him here and yet his busy feet practically drag him all the way here. Sucking him in as if something is magnetically tugging him closer and closer against his own will. 

  “No, although Makoto will be coming by at some point today so I will have to explain it to him. If he disapproves he will likely pull you out so keep that in mind.” She sips her tea delicately before setting it back down. The cup not making a sound as it makes contact with the desk this time. 

  “You take orders from him?” 

  “Yes. When it comes to this I do.” 

  He was pretty sure he remembered her and the blonde boy being higher ranked within the foundation when they first came here. Apparently that new seniority doesn’t change the dynamics they were used to from when they were in Hope’s Peak together, people are strange that way - even those he would think to be more logical. 

  “You trust his judgement?” He takes a single step forward, tensing his brow. 

  The boy might have been a pillar of their survival in the game but out here with a million other clashing personalities he’s surprised the boy doesn’t get washed away in the tide. The ultimate hope…

  “Yes. What about you? Do you trust any of your classmates?” Kirigiri slowly stands up, eyes sharp and alert.

  Hearing that question he can’t help but wonder how closely they have been watching the cameras. While she may not be saying anything explicitly, he knows how to read between the lines. That kind of subtly isn’t going to pull the wool over his eyes.  

  Still, he can barely hold back his snort as he shakes his head at her, “I already told you before, they aren’t my classmates. I barely know them.”

  “I remember. That doesn’t answer my question.” 

  Trust is a funny word. Does he trust any of them? No. He doesn’t know if he’s ever trusted anyone. But it isn’t like he distrusts them. If anything they are insignificant. Apathy. It’s not like any of them could stop him or even interrupt him if he wanted to do something so he doesn’t waste the energy distrusting them. Why would he trust them? What have any of them done to earn that?  He knows full well what they all did to their old friends and family. 

  “Would I be here if I did?” 

  “Fair enough.” 

  Neither of them exchange another word as she bring him back into the Neo World program once again. Their silence saying far more than words possibly could. 

~~~

  Izuru tilts his head up, staring up at the bright blue sky above him. Perfect and still, not a cloud in the sky - just like always. It might be silly to say but somehow its the part of this whole place that feels the most fake.

  Sure, the giant monokuma factory, ancient looking hope’s peak academy and insane looking theme park island might all be weird but considering everything he went through with Junko it all pales in comparison. Clear skies and soft beaches though, now that’s something he’s never seen. Junko made a lot of things but never that. 

  In his mind he can picture this exact sky with rolling dark red skies and crashing waves. Anything would be better than this damn stillness. How long has it been since he saw the actual sky and not a virtual reality sky? It’s impossible to remember after all the time he’s spent in and out of reality. It must have been weeks by now. Everything is beginning to feel blurry.

  Alter Ego had vanished hours ago, disappearing in the void or wherever it is that it goes to when Izuru isn’t around. Probably some backdoor program like the one Alter Ego took him to before. Without the tail that usually follows him around he’d been able to take his time wandering around each of the islands on his own with no voices interrupting his thoughts. 

  Sonia’s words and the drawing from this morning echo in his mind. Maybe he should just get it over with and go watch the tapes. It would save him a whole lot of time if nothing else.

  No! 

  He slaps his cheeks and shakes his head. This is stupid. None of this even matters in the first place. He’s not even sure why he came here today. 

  Walking around this place did nothing, just like yesterday and the day before. It’s not like he even had hope as he arrived here. So far the only thing he achieved was the oddly freeing feeling as he stumbled about the place blindly. Perhaps, in another world, he could trick himself into thinking it was real and he truly was free. In a situation like this that might be the most the last remaining group of them can hope for. 

  By tuning out his mind and allowing his feet to lead the way he’d found himself subconsciously arriving at specific locations on the different islands. If his luck still stands then hopefully they were important places before but there is no way for him to actually be certain. 

  A diner on the second island. The hospital on the third island. The strange castle on the fourth island. A burned down warehouse on the fifth island. But they’d all come up with nothing. No matter how long he laid on the creaky hospital bed or how long he’d sat at the table in the diner, nothing triggered any kind of déjà vu. The only place he felt anything at all was in the warehouse, but even then it was nothing more than uncomfortable goosebumps wriggling across his skin. Nothing tangible enough to build off of. Nothing useful. 

  He grumbles to himself and flops down on the nearest sandy beach. The grains of sand spill around him, trickling into his hair and sticking to his skin but he doesn’t bother moving. Thankfully this will all be gone when he leaves to head back to the real world. For now, the rough feeling against his skin is almost nice. For the first time since he’s woken up here he’s relieved to not have his suits hanging onto him. 

  He might not have had a plan coming into this but now as he watches the sun begin to dip in the sky he can’t bring himself to move. With every moment that passes the sky grows darker and darker. He could swear he can see stars beginning to dot the canvas above. 

  Stars…when did he last see those? Has he ever seen stars…?

  “Hajimeeee!” A soft noise rings out behind him. At once he jumps up, sand raining down around him. But no matter how much his eyes scan the world behind him, there’s no one there. 

  Was it just the wind? There shouldn’t be anyone else on this island except Alter Ego and that most certainly wasn’t its voice. 

  “Hajime! Come check this out!” Okay, there's no way that was the wind. But again there is no one around him. No one he can see anyway…

  His eyes dart about anxiously, waiting to catch sight of anything. Anyone. This couldn’t be Alter Ego pulling a prank on him, could it? No, even if it was changing its voice it wouldn’t do that - pranking has never exactly seemed like it’s kind of thing. But what else could it be? 

  Trying to shake the thought, he tilts his head up once more, examining the now darkening night sky well above him. Just like that a memory flickers before his eyes. A night sky filled with explosions. Not explosions, fireworks. Actual fireworks for once. Yellow, red, orange, like flames licking at the darkness. Chasing away the shadows. Somehow its much more vibrant and bright than he’d expected fireworks to look. The knowledge implanted in his mind doesn’t do them justice. 

  “Hajimeeeee.” That name again. A promise screeching in the wind. 

  It’s only as he finally tears his eyes away from the sky and looks back down at the beach that he sees it. Surely he must be hallucinating but he could swear he can see…Sonia. Her crystal blue eyes reflecting the stars. Capturing their radiance as she gapes up at the sky. Her cheeks are bright pink with a look on her face he can only describe as…happy. Genuinely happy. 

  For a second his heart flutters and he subconciously begins to smile. She looks truly beautiful, bathed in the light of the fireworks crackling above and dressed up in a sleek pink kimono. It suits her far more than those heavy embellished ball gowns that always used to swallow her during her proclamations.

  But then, the second the next firework cracks she’s gone and the light of the sparks dies with her. The sky is still and calm once again. 

  Great, so the two ‘maybe memories’ he’s gotten so far are Sonia under some fireworks and the room and face of this Chiaki girl. What useful information to have been granted…

  He breathes in deeply and folds up his legs. His arms wrap around them as he stares out to see, pulling them as tightly as he can into his chest. 

  At some point he will need to head back but not right now. He will stay as long as Kirigiri and Naegi allow him to. 

Chapter Text

29/04 - 09:00

  “Fuyuhiko! Fuyuhikooooo!” A thundering knock smashes against the door down the hall, “Fuyuhiko, I’m not leaving until you get out here!” Kazuichi smashes his fist against the door once again. 

  “He’s going to be there a while…” Izuru sighs quietly enough that Kazuichi won't be able to hear him. Although given the volume of his yells, he probably doesn't need to try that hard.

  Him and Sonia are curled up on either side of the couch, tea cups in one hand and a book in the other. It hadn’t exactly been the fastest start to the day - especially not when both Akane and Fuyuhiko have locked themselves away this time. Their already small group of survivors gets smaller and smaller by the day no matter how much Sonia and Kazuichi fight against it. 

  “Yes…I think so…” She mumbles, flicking to the next page casually. 

  Should they be helping him? Maybe. But he hasn’t asked for assistance yet so Izuru sees no reason to get up. They’re lucky he’s even out here with them when he could be enjoying his own space where he doesn’t need to worry about accidentally invading Sonia’s space. With Kazuichi practically smashing down every door there isn’t much peace and quiet to be found anywhere - not even in his own room. 

  “AKANE! You too! You need to come out and eat you idiots!” It’s almost pleasant hearing a different name being yelled for a change. 

  What is that saying again: insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results? Well if this isn’t insanity then Izuru doesn’t know what is. He’s not going to be the one to tell Kazuichi that though. 

  “Does he really think this is going to work?” He raises an eyebrow and looks over at Sonia, taking a sip of his tea. 

  “I think he does.” Sonia shakes her head, her lips pursed tightly, “I am just glad it is not only me trying to drag them out now.” 

  “Yeah, a whole lot of good it is doing.” 

  Four days in and they’re already falling apart. Even Naegi, Kirigiri and the others have given up now. Not one of them have dared cross over into their territory since the meeting the other day. At this point they might as well be on their own. 

  “If we keep trying eventually they will come out. It has to be driving them as mad as it is driving us.” Sonia forces a wobbly smile. Hopefully she’s better at lying to herself than she is at lying to him. 

  “You say that as if you aren’t aware how stubborn those two are.” 

  He might not have spent much time with Fuyuhiko and Akane but they aren’t exactly closed books. Like quick sand, the harder any of them try to drag them out, the deeper they will retreat. If anyone thought their situation these last few years was going to encourage Fuyuhiko and Akane of all people to be more open and less stubborn then they clearly weren’t paying attention. The rebellion inside them never left, now they just don’t have Junko pointing it in the direction she wants. 

  “What would you suggest then?” Sonia slams her book closed. Her voice is still as soft but the woman she once was certainly hasn’t gone away, “I have been trying to come up with ideas and you are surprisingly quite for the ultimate hope. Perhaps you can join in the effort.” 

  “No.” 

  “No?”

  “Correct.” He sighs heavily, “There’s no point in any of this. They will come out when they want to and us forcing them out isn’t going to help their situation. I could go over now and pick their locks but then what will we do? They’re not doing any harm, sometimes people just want to be on their own.” He shrugs non-chalantly and turns back towards his book. 

  If he was in Akane and Fuyuhiko’s position he knows full well he would be barely refraining from smashing Kazuichi’s head through a wall. It’s not as if Fuyuhiko hasn’t been making an effort at least. He’ll willingly admit that Akane might have some issues they need to deal with (when hasn’t she?) but Fuyuhiko is just mourning the only way he knows how to. Well the only way that isn’t just straight up massacring people. If anything this is him being healthy. 

  “What people want and what is best for their health is not always the same thing. And when it comes to us, I would presume it is quite often the opposite.” Sonia meets his gaze, staring him down with raw determination. 

  It’s hard to fully disagree with her. He might have his issues but it isn’t possible for him to ignore the ultimate psychologist knowledge within his mind. You know its bad when the only person even mildly informed about mental health is the teenager who had his skull cut open and mental health knowledge surgically inserted into him. It’s not like any of them have been given the chance to develop coping strategies. But this approach isn’t exactly going to teach them that either.

  “We have our freedom, its up to them how they spend it.”

  “Well we can’t afford to lose anyone else.” The words are barely more than a whisper as she breathes them out. Anxiously speaking them into the world like that will solve anything…

  Akane and Fuyuhiko might not be dead but that doesn’t mean they haven’t already been lost. Only time will tell at this point. 

  “I don’t know if we have the power to stop that Sonia. If they want to join us they will but forcing them isn’t goint to help.”

  Sonia frowns, the wrinkles marring her normally pristine face. For a moment he thinks she’s watching him but her eyes are fixed on something over his shoulder. Her usually bright eyes have gone vacant. Still…

  “Are you okay?” He narrows his eyes and turns to follow her gaze. There’s nothing there except the normal kitchen. The same kitchen they’ve had since the started living here. Not a hair out of place from its usual set up. It’s times like this when he begins to wish he had a talent for mind reading. 

  “Sonia?” He tentatively moves forward, stretching out his arm as if to shake her awake, “Sonia? Are you okay?” He withdraws his arm at the last moment, pulling away from any physical contact. Instead he leans in front of her eye line, waving dramatically. Its only then that he notices the single tear rolling down her cheek. “Sonia!” He raises his voice sternly, staring her down. 

  “Hmm…? Oh sorry.” She finally shakes her head and brushes the tear from her cheek with a swift and elegant movement. “Sorry, I need to leave.” She clears her throat and jumps up from the couch. 

  Her teacup is knocked aside, spilling the hot liquid all over the fabric, but that doesn’t stop her from running off. Tearing down the corridor past Kazuichi to lock herself away in her room just like the others. All he’s left with is an empty sofa and a steadily growing stain. 

  “Dude!” Kazuichi’s head pops around the door frame, “What the hell happened?! Sonia’s gone too now?” 

  There’s nothing he can do but shrug, “It appears so.” An empty couch sits in front of them both. 

  Kazuichi groans and throws his head back, stalking across the room to lean over him determinedly, “Well, what did you do to her?” As he speaks, his hands remain firmly planted on his hips. A stern expression etched into his face - or as stern an expression. 

  “What did I do? Why do you think I did something?” He scowls up at Kazuichi, chucking his book to one side. 

  Of course it has to be his fault. He might have been talking with her but that doesn’t instantly mean it was something he did or said. The human psyche is rarely that simple. 

  “Because you were the only other person in here!” Kazuchi rolls his eyes. Grumbling as if it's completely obvious but of course he's as close minded as ever. 

  “We were just talking about how pointless this all was. Then she went glassy eyed and began crying before running off.” He purses his lips and tucks his book down at his side. He wouldn’t be surprised if it was somehow related to those damn videos she was watching. Everything seems to be going back to their memories from that time period. 

  “What?! Dude seriously?!” Kazuichi finally backs off, before skipping over and launching himself onto the couch. By the time he flies forward its too late for Izuru to warn him. He lands directly on the wet patch of the couch, his clothes undoubtedly soaked with tea right about now.

  “Ughhhhh. You could have warned me Izu.” Izu? He almost chokes at the horrific nickname.

  Still, seemingly unaware of Izuru's reaction, Kazuichi groans and spins about in a weak attempt to assess the damage. It’s a good thing they’re all locked in here so it’s not like having a wet patch on your butt matters to anyone. Especially not when most those people are locked in their rooms right now.

  “Well first, never call me that again. It’s Kamakura or Izuru if you really want to.” Kazuichi rolls his eyes but Izuru kicks out at him sharply. “And secondly, you didn’t exactly give me a chance to before you launched yourself at it. Maybe use your eyes for once.” 

  In deafeat Kazuichi flops down onto a different couch, letting his head fall back against it. 

  “Ugh, whatever. It’s just us now then. You better not ditch me too.” 

  “Fine…but I wanted to go and learn the building layout today so if you’re coming with me you better change those trousers.” Izuru looks Kazuichi up and down. The last thing he needs is Kazuichi complaining like a child the entire time. 

  “Fine, fine. Whatever you say. Don’t leave without me though.”

  “I wouldn’t dare.”

  Him and Kazuichi again. It seems he can never be rid of the boy. But for once, he’s not sure if that’s such a bad thing. 

~~~

29/04 - 09:25

  “So how come you’ve never explored this place. I thought you would have been the type to be straight on that” Kazuichi hovers right by Izuru's side as he carefully brings the teacups back to the kitchen sink and sets his book back on the shelf. 

  The tea is still seeping into the couch but he’s not some maid that’s here to clean up after Sonia. If she wants it clean then she can sort it out when she decides to come out of her room. Until then it’ll be fine once it’s dried out. He just needs to keep Kazuichi off it until then. 

  “I just had better things to do.” 

  Honestly, he hadn’t even really considered it. He had been too swept up in the Neo World Program that he had mostly written off the actual building they are in now. No matter what rooms they’ve set up, it doesn’t actually change anything anyway. Nevertheless he might as well take a look, what harm could that do?

  “Hmmm. Fair enough.” 

  “What about you? You haven’t explored?” He tilts his head to the side, examining the mechanic.

  His hands have slunk away into his pockets as he hunches over, waiting for Izuru to take charge and lead them forwards like normal. Its funny how quickly humans settle back into routines regardless of how much time has passed.

  “Not much point. It’s easier staying here without exploring. I can pretend the area were allowed to travel in is bigger than it actually is if I never go out and actually look at it myself.” His tone gets more and more sombre with every word that passes. 

  “Hm.” He nods ever so slightly and straightens up as he leads the way out of the room…this is going to be a fun exploration trip. 

  It’s painfully obvious how little he’s seen of this place when he gets to the very first cross road, directly outside their main door. A now distant memory from before they got into those machines reminds him that the stairs to the entrance are to their right but everything else is a black void in his knowledge. 

  Even so, Kazuichi makes no complaints as Izuru turns left down the corridor. In fact quite the opposite. He falls into step behind Izuru, his footsteps just a second behind, never once daring to close the gap between them. Not even words breech the gap as they traipse through the empty corridor. 

  Given the fact that it's the future foundation who created this place he isn’t exactly surprised at the lack of decorations. That doesn’t make it any less drab and gloomy though. Fluorescent light and plain white walls really help them regain their sanity…

  It’s a relief when they stumble upon the next door in the corridor. The pale brown isn’t much but at this point anything will do. That is until they swing open the door and the lights flick on. 

  Izuru freezes in the doorway, his face hardening subconsciously.

  “What is this place?” 

  Kazuichi squeezes past him into the room. As usual personal space isn’t his forte. His shoulders thump into Izuru’s back, jolting him forward uncomfortably. But even Kazuichi can’t make him move one step further. He is forever rooted to this exact spot.

  It’s like someone has reached into his mind and pulled out his first memory to display in front of him. Even the reek of bleach and antiseptic is the same. Each and every one of his senses screech and burn. 

  A dark and heavy pit writhes in his stomach. He doesn’t bother holding back his sneer. They might not be part of Hopes Peak anymore but even they can’t hide their roots. 

  Pure white as far as the eye can see. The walls, the floors, the ceilings. White, white, white. He never did understand the obsession, it just made every fleck of filth stand out amongst the perfect. Every foot print. Every strand of hair. Every fleck of blood. Never clean. Always one step away from perfect.

  Kazuichi steps forward, his footsteps echoing ever so slightly as he circles the large metal gurney say askew in the middle of the room. It’s not like Kazuichi is the kind of person that can ever blend in but he’s never stood out this much. His shock of bright pink hair drowning everything else out. Something living and breathing amongst the stillness. 

  But even as he drifts around the room he pays no attention to the implements on the counters or the sparse furniture. No, he’s singularly focused on the same thing as Izuru. Izuru has seen more brain scans in his short life than most people would ever even imagine but even he raises an eyebrow at this. Every wall is pasted with scans, each one the tiniest fraction different to the last. The only thing separating it from Izuru's memories is the haphazard way they have all been blutacked to the wall. Hope's Peak would never have been that careless with their prized work.  

  He closes his eyes, only for a moment, and images of those staggering figures drowns his mind. Long white coats billowing as they swarmed around the room like flies on a corpse. Their mouths hidden away behind pristine white masks. Their voices still bark at him even as he pries his eyes open.

  In an instant the figures melt away into the empty nothingness. Just like everything else in this place it is utterly deserted. For once he counts his blessings.

  “What the hell is this dude?!” Kazuichi’s forehead is wrinkled as he spins around to face Izuru.

  Izuru shifts his weight uncomfortably as he tries to pull his gaze away from the scans, “The others did mention they had a hospital in this place.” 

  “Then what about these?!” Kazuichi reaches out and rips the nearest one off the wall. The corners peel away, still clinging onto the wall for dead life. The rest of the scan hangs limply in Kazuichi's hand as he waves it about.

  “Read the name on the corner.” He stiffly nods his head towards Kazuichi and the multitude of scans. Sure enough Kazuichi takes one look at it and stiffens, “They had to keep an eye on our brain health while we were strapped into that thing. Just normal procedural testing.”

  “Is this…does this show his brain after he…” He looks between Izuru and the scan frantically.

  Of course Izuru is supposed to know all the answers. Maybe if Kazuichi wasn’t waving it around like a mad man he would be able to somewhat read it and see if the person is brain dead or not. Maybe. If he tried.

  “I don't know. Does it really matter? It could have been taken at any point. They probably took them daily, maybe even more often.” He doesn’t dare close his eyes but he spins around, putting the room squarely in his shadow, “Come on, there’s more to see and we probably shouldn’t mess with their stuff.”

  Judging by the look of this place nothing has been touched since they all woke up so he doubts Kirigiri or the others would give half a damn if a scan was moved but the sooner they leave this place behind the better. There’s nothing left for them here.

  He doesn’t even bother waiting for Kazuichi. As soon as he steps away the door is freed and it slams shut behind him. He can open a door on his own, he'll live. 

  Sure enough, as Izuru moves to lean on the wall across the hallway, the door swings open once again for Kazuichi to slide through. He can just about catch a glimpse of the room behind him before the door seals once more. Everything is still and neat, just how they found it, with the exception of the scan which Kazuichi has left awkwardly in the middle of the gurney. That’s going to be an awkward conversation when one of the others sees it - that is assuming they haven’t already been watching them on the cameras this entire time. He has no idea when they’d find time for it but he’s not going to put it past them.

  Just as the door thumps closed Kazuichi freezes, his brain finally catching up with him, “They aren’t going to be mad we went in there, are they?” 

  “Probably not. They told us we could explore and they haven’t locked the door.” He pushes up from the wall and takes a step closer, “Even if they were it doesn’t matter. There are plenty of other things for them to be mad about.”

  Kazuichi doesn’t have a response to that. 

  Izuru’s feet take charge before his head. Where are they going? He has no idea. Only a single word rings in his mind. Away. Even so he keeps his face still and impassive. Kazuichi might be quiet but his presence is still heavy behind him. His footsteps thud in Izuru’s mind. His breathing echoes softly through the empty halls. Every shift of his arms and legs rustles ever so slightly. Always there.

  Thump. Thump. Thump. 

  Even as the corridor bends and they change direction to follow it, he can’t help by wonder if this hallway has gotten longer. Even though he can see the dead end up this path, they never seem to get any closer.

  Thump. Thump. Thump. 

  He feels a single bead of sweat dribble down his forehead. It clings to his brow for dear life. Taunting him.

  Thump. Thump. Thump. 

  Every breath rattles his bones.

  And then it stops…and Izuru goes stumbling forwards, a heavy weight pushed against his back. For a moment he stumbles, his legs slipping out from under him. But then, as if nothing had ever happened, the world rights itself and he’s still and steady once again.

  “Are you okay?!” One of Kazuichi's calloused hand is still gripped tightly around his shoulder, “I'm so sorry, I didn’t realised you had stopped.” 

  As Izuru twists around he can see the boy biting hard into his bottom lip. His other hand is buried in his cloak of hair, rubbing ferociously across the back of his neck. Keeping his hand as steady as possible he reaches over and gently frees himself from Kazuichi's grip.

  “I’m fine. I just saw a door so wanted to check it out.” He presses his lips together until he is sure they must have turned white. 

  He’s not sure if he subconsciously noticed and his feet stopped before his brain or if it was just a lucky coincidence but it seems to be convincing enough as Kazuichi breaks out into a smile. Well, the closest any of them have gotten since waking up in this place anyway.

  “Nice one.” Kazuichi claps his back awkwardly, darting forward to grab the door handle. “What do you think it is this time?” Kazuichi snorts, his hand resting motionless on the handle.

  “This is a stupid game.” He rolls his eyes.

  Knowing this place it could be any number of things. A medical center, a library, an office, a server room, a supply room. Whats the point if even trying to guess?

  Kazuichi’s shoulders sink ever so slightly, “Fine…” 

  But as he pulls down on the handle it rattles but stays firmly in place. Again. But it still refuses to budge. Hmmm…

  “Did they lock it?” Kazuichi rattles the door once more for good luck. 

  “If they didn’t then they need to sort out the hinges.” 

  He bends down slightly to peer at the handle but theres no lock in sight. Just plain smooth steel all the way across. It’s not like he needs a lock to break through but he suspects that wouldn’t get a positive reaction from their gracious ‘hosts’. He’d be lying if he didn’t say it suddenly made the entire room one hundred times more appealing. The temptation of a locked door is just too tantalising.

  He’s not the only one that feels that way. As they continue down the corridor Kazuchi decides to ponder every possible option. Apparently he ran out of reasonable ideas pretty early though as he barely comes up with five possibilities before he goes off the deep end.

  “Maybe it’s where they have their creepy psycho murder room.” He claps his hands together and skips forward enthusiastically. Izuru is beginning to think he’s spent too much time as an Ultimate Despair…

  “People don’t have psycho murder rooms. Who would they even murder?” Izuru rubs his forehead slowly.

  “People don’t have creepy rooms filled with brain scans either!” Kazuichi spins around to fully face Izuru. He doesn’t even bother stopping walking, instead he deems it sensible to half-skip half-stumble backwards. His hands chop the air dramatically as if that somehow adds more weight to his insane arguments. 

  “They had a reason for the brain scans, they don’t gain anything by having a secret murder room.”

  “Pft, you say that.”

  “Because it’s true.” Izuru shakes his head rapidly. This is not what he signed up for today. 

  With Kazuichi blindly stumbling backwards Izuru has to take the reins once more. He gently nudges the boys shoulder as they get closer to the next door, slowly herding him in the right direction. Sure he might stumble a few steps past the door but there’s nothing more he can do to stop that.

  “Okay, if not a murder room then it’s probably some kind of secret passageway. That seems like a very future foundation thing.” Kazuichi leans against the wall as Izuru swings open the next door.

  “What seems like a very future foundation thing?” The voice is instantly recognisable by the innocent and cheery tone.

  Naegi's smiling as usual. His eyes crinkle warming as he sits bathed in the warm lamp light. A fort of files surrounds him, hiding away everything beneath his neck. Even with his hair rustled and slightly darkening bags under his eyes he manages to look exactly the same as ever. 

  Looking around all he can see are bookshelves and filing cabinets as far as the eye can see. They stretch out deep into the room until the darkness swallows them. Apparently the rooms occupants didn’t think the overhead lights were neccesary - and why would they when they had the worlds softest lamps surrounding them. 

  On the opposite side of Naegi’s fort is anothe figure, the blonde tall boy from earlier. Byakuya. Although searching the archives of his own memory, his ast name Togami flutters to the forefront of his mind this time. 

  Somehow, despite his hair being perfectly styled and his skin as clear as ever, the sour look on his face makes him look even rougher than Naegi. Every part of his face is creased and tense. The light reflects off his glasses casting a glare across his face. It only adds the boys the distasteful look.

  “Ummmm well, we found a locked door. We were just discussing what it could be leading to.” Kazuichi scratches the back of his neck as he shuffles into the room.

  “Why are you trying to go through the doors anyway?” Togami scowls and lazily flips the page of his file. “What are you trying to find?” Togami’s eyes sharpen, staring daggers at each one of them in turn.

  Kazuichi flinches back ever so slightly. Shimmying closer to Izuru as his breath catches in his throat. Fumbling with himself, “Um…” 

  “We’re just trying to get used to our new home.” Izuru snaps. Without hesitating for even a moment, he takes one step forward to put himself in front of Kazuichi and the others. 

  “Home.” The blonde boy snorts and raises one eye brow. 

  Clearing his throat, Naegi’s hand dart forward between the files to grip Togami’s sleeve gently. As soon as his hand makes contact Togami freezes. Even from all the way over here Izuru can see the vein popping in the middle of his forehead. 

  “Byakuya, leave it.” Naegi’s voice might be soft and sweet but that doesn’t stop him sounding like he’s chiding a misbehaving dog. He certainly has a tight rein on all his little lackeys. All they need now is a little collar to complete the image. 

  “Whatever.” Togami slams the file closed and slides out from the desk.

  Every step is an elegant dance as he glides across the room towards the filing cabinet. Whatever file he was reading is still clutched tightly in his fist. Step by step he’s swallowed up into the darkness until they can no longer see him. Good riddance. 

  “Sorry about that,” Naegi clear his throat and scratches the back of his neck awkwardly, “You’re welcome to explore anywhere. Anything you need to feel more comfortable.” He offers a weak smile, shadows dancing across his face as he turns away from the light.

  "Uh, thanks…” Izuru can’t see Kazuichi but he can hear the slight shuffling of his trousers as he shifts his weight from side to side. 

  “So does that mean you can unlock that door for us?” Izuru slowly stalks forward until he’s leaning over the desk. Pressing his hand into the wood as he lingers nearby.

  From here he can just about read some of the titles on the files surrounding the desk. Sonia Nevermind. Kazuichi Souda. Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu. All of their names scattered about, open on the desk. And the stacked up files around him have an assortment of both familiar and unfamiliar names. Junko Enoshima. Peko Pekoyama. Chihiro Fujisaki. Yasuke Matsuda. Hiyoko Saionji. Each one branded with the same ugly logo. And right at the bottom of one of the other stacks he spots and name that stiffens his entire body. 

  Chiaki Nanami. 

  “Ummmmm…sorry…” The soft voice of Naegi snaps him to attention. At some point he must have stood up as he’s now upright directly in front of him. From here his clothes looked even more dishevelled. Wrinkles are practically burnt into his clothing and there’s a slightly stale scent of musty books seeping off of every fibre. How long has he been stuck in here? Kirigiri has been glued to the Neo World room since they arrived and now it seems Naegi has been cooped up in here. Have none of them even gone outside? 

  “What do you mean ‘sorry’?” Kazuichi drawls cautiously, narrowing his eyes. As he does so he begins to shuffle deeper into the room. Reclaiming his spot at Izuru's side.

  “It’s just…”

  “He means that he can’t let us through. It’s locked to keep us in here probably - either that or it’s where they keep all the things they don’t want us to find.” Izuru sighs and shakes his head. 

  It’s obvious. No matter how nice they are trying to come across there is no delusions about the truth of the matter. Hell, they even told them that on the first day here. They’re not exactly free people. They’re prisoners in a gilded cage. 

  “Ah…I see.” Kazuichi hums softly. 

  “Look, we want to help you and I’m sure some day we will work out a plan where you can freely go wherever you want but for now we have to keep things as they are… I hope you understand.” His smile wavers weakly. Pity seeps off of him in waves. It sends a shivers down his spine. Why is it always that look?

  “Sure, sure…” Kazuichi bites back. His shoulders stiffen awkwardly as he shifts closer and closer to Izuru. 

  They hear Togami before they see him slink out from the darkness, “Leave them alone Makoto. They aren’t owed your explainations.”

  “We’re not here to start an argument. We understand. We just wanted to look at the area around us.” He holds his head high. 

  He’s not letting Togami think he can just walk all over them. Regardless of the sitaution and the rules they have agreed to follow, they aren’t punching bags. If they really tried he doubts even these three would be able to stop them - especially since they get stronger and stronger with every passing day. 

  “I’m glad.” Naegi breaks into a forced smile, “You’re free to access this library if you want, there’s not much entertaining reading but it’s still open for any of you to come by.” They all pretend not to hear Togami snort to himself. 

  In this low lighting its hard to decipher any of the other files but if they’re anything like the ones on the desk then maybe they seem far more worthwhile than any of the books still stowed away in their ‘common room’. A treasure trove of the knowledge the future foundtion has gathered over the years. 

  “Thanks, we’re good for today though.” Kazuichi grips onto Izuru’s sleeve, pulling him out the room bit by bit. “Come on Izuru, we have other rooms to check out.”

  He doesn’t bother arguing. As much as he might want to check out those files there’s no point when Togami is there glaring holes into the back of his head. At this point he has no idea if these guys ever leave their designated rooms - they always seem to be lurking somewhere - but even they have to sleep at some point. His chances are going to be better when he eventually finds that time. Eventually…

  “Thanks for the talk. It was enlightening.” Izuru shakes off Kazuichi for a moment, giving the pair a short bow. Before he even rises he spins around and steps through the doorway.

  “Kamakura.” Naegi’s voice calls out sternly but Izuru doesn’t turn around. The most he offers is his stillness as he listens quietly, “I would love to chat with you at some point, just the two of us.”

  “Makoto you -” Togami tries to cut in with his steely sharp words but Naegi smothers them without wasting a breath, “I really do want to help you all. Kyoko has told me all about your search and I’m here to help in any way.” 

  Izuru doesn’t even bother replying. What is he supposed to say? What would the boy even be able to offer him other than trying to push him towards the videoes. No, he doesn’t need his help. He’s more than capable of handling his own mind for once in his life. 

  Even so he offers the slighest nod before slipping out of the door and sealing it behind him. Both him and Kazuichi take a few steps forward before stopping and turning to each other.

  “Ughhhh….Is it bad if I say I still hate those guys?” Kazuichi growls.

  For the first time a sharp laugh breaks out of his throat. His lips curl up as he stares at the pink haired boy next to him.

  “What did I say?!” Kazuichi frowns, his eyes blown wide.

  “Nothing.” He laughs again, the noise rattling through his chest awkwardly. He’s not even sure what he’s laughing at. It’s not like the future foundation had said anything unreasonable. Logically there’s no reason for them to have been bothered by their words. And yet hearing Kazuichi say that feels like a load lifted straight off of his shoulder. 

  “I still don’t like them either.” He breathes in deeply and shakes his head. 

  He’d be lying if he said he didn’t have some respect - maybe even some positive feelings - towards Kirigiri but that says nothing about the rest of them. In spite of everything, he finds little redeeming or interesting qualities about any of them. 

  “Not that it matters. We don’t need to like them. It’s not like they’re expecting us to.” If anything it would be against their nature to even entertain the idea of liking their unwanted prison warden.

  With a mildly lighter feeling in their chests, they turn to examine the other side of the corridor and travel back to the other half of the building. And yet it seems like anything of any interest has long since been sealed away. The only other rooms they can get into are half empty offices and a decent sized gym that is covered in a thin layer of dust. Considering the building it is located in it’s surprisingly well populated with equipment. There might not be any high quality machinery but they’ve got a decent selection of treadmills, bikes, rowing machines and weight lifting equipment, along with a single tennis court. More than anything he struggles to see how Asahina never end up finding the gym since the corridors could hardly be considered hard to navigate.

  However, even after searching the entire floor and trying ever single door they passed, they never found a single window or staircase. That is enough to answer the question of the locked door then. They have freedom alright, freedom to roam this single floor for the rest of time. How wonderful. 

  What else can they say though? They agreed to this. This is their grave to lie in. 

  After being coaxed into a game of tennis with Kazuichi, they both slowly wander back to their rooms. At least they made some progress, maybe not as much as they would have wanted but it’s better than nothing. At least that’s what he tells himself. 

  Eveything is still as quiet and empty when they return as they were when they left. The only differences are the two wet pans resting on the drying rack. A few beads of water still trickle down the edges, pooling on the cool counter top underneath. At least one of the three of them are eating. It’s a day full of settling apparently…

  He barely even remembers what Kazuichi spoke about as Izuru pottered around the kitchen, quietly preparing a dish for them both. There’s not the greatest selection of foods to choose from but after spending years out in the chaos of the world these might as well be gourmet ingredients.

  It’s only as he puts the finishing touches on the meal that he leans back and pauses. Has he ever done this before? While he might have a wide variety of cooking talents he’s never exactly had to use them; why even bother? And yet as he casually drifts around the kitchen piecing the ramen together he’s overwhelmed by a strange feeling.  It’s not the same as the feeling of his dreams or of being in the Neo World Program and yet…it feels soft and warm. Quiet and calm.

  It feels like home. 

  And for now that’s enough. That’s enough...

Chapter Text

30/04 - 12:34

  "Kamukura…?" Soft knocking ricochets around his room once more. At this point it’s practically become routine. Any hope of this place providing peace gone just like that. 

  Even so the sound still makes him flinch back violently. His head jerking backward into the headboard of his bed and the book he’d been reading jumps in his hands, nearly slipping out of his grip. The only positive part of all this is that he’s the only one in the room so at least no one else saw his reaction… 

  Taking a deep breath in, he tries to slowly release all the built up tension. Of course he recognises the voice at once - there is no way that is anyone’s voice except Naegi - but it does very little to ease the adrenaline still coursing through him. It sounds about right that the one time he tries to enjoy some quiet time on his own he’s interrupted. Days of being left alone and now Naegi can’t stay away. He should have expected this though after their encounter yesterday. 

  "Yes." He clears his throat and shifts himself so he can sit down casually on the edge of the bed. Maybe his stiff rigid position isn't the most casual looking but he can't bring himself to care. After all, it's just Naegi. Knowing the boy he probably wouldn’t even notice the difference. 

  Slowly the door of his room swings open and the small form of Naegi is visible. His smile is wobbly but the usual bright glow hangs around him. He looks somewhat better than he did yesterday. Well, better is subjective, but at least his hair has been freshly brushed and someone - most likely Kirigiri - has forced him into some fresh clothes. The bags under his eyes and slightly pale tinge to his skin haven’t gone anywhere though. Given the situation they’ve ended up in he suspects they aren’t going anywhere any time soon. 

  However, far more interesting than his appearance is the sleek black folder tucked under his arm. The same kind of file that Izuru had seen littered around him just the day before. It glimmers temptingly as the light catches on the shimmering logo. 

  Naegi hovers around the doorway shifting his weight from side to side. Izuru gives him a second, and then another, and then another but he refuses to budge. He doesn’t even examine the room. He just stands there. Staring. 

  "Are you going to come in?" Izuru sighs and readjusts his position, trying find any modicum of comfort. 

  "Oh, um, yes."

  The boy shuffles slightly in, stopping still right next to the now closed door. Both hands now hold the folder in his lap. He doesn't dare move closer, even as Izuru sits at the edge of the bed.

  Sighing, he looks the boy up and down. Just when he thinks he’s beginning to understand the boy this happens. It’s not like he’s seen the other boy very often - only a handful of times honestly - but he somehow seems more real, more human, now than ever before. Probably a strange revelation to have given who he is and who Naegi is . After watching him on a screen for so long it is somewhat interesting to get a proper look at the real thing.

  He looks…young. Beyond the tiredness and stress, he’s still a teenager. How much younger is he than Izuru? A year? More? Less? That is if you can fully consider him younger than Izuru himself. He might have graduated from his hoodie and jeans but the slightly ill-fitting suit somehow just makes him look even younger. 

  Did Hajime look younger than this? He must have given how many years ago that was now… 

  "How are you doing?" Naegi asks as his fingers subconsciously play with the edges of the folder, "The doctors have all left now. It’s fully just me, Kyoko and Byakuya left with you here now..." 

  He shakes his head slowly. There's no fooling Izuru of all people. Not when his hands can’t keep still to save his life, "What did you come here for? What's in the folder?" He nods at it sharply, refusing to budge on this matter.

  He considers tilting his head and leaning in closer to try and read the title but he holds himself back. He can keep his curiosity under control for a few minutes at the very least. 

  "We found this in the files from Hope's Peak. It's a file about Hajime Hinata." As if taunting him, he grabs it with both hands and pulls it up to his chest. He might as well be cradling it as he slowly rubs the smooth edges. 

  A strange feeling churns in his stomach at the words. Jittery tingles spread up his spine. If he'd been given the chance to read this a few weeks ago he wouldn't have cared less. For some reason, now his hand subconsciously itches to reach forward and grab it as if that will magically summon it into his hand. 

  As it turns out, he doesn't need to. Naegi only now decides to venture further into the room. He still doesn't settle down comfortably like Sonia did, but he does move close enough to hand him the folder.

  But even as he grasps the folder in his hands the feeling refuses to subside. It lingers and claws at him violently as if out for his blood. The skin in contact with the file burns, searing the memory into every ridge. 

  It's lighter than he'd have expected from it’s appearance. It takes a few seconds for his grip to readjust to the feathery thin disposition. Gently weighing up he wonders if there’s even any paper in this thing at all. It’s not like he was too far off, as he flicks it open he’s greeted with barely even five pages. Nothing at all. Typical for Hopes Peak Academy.

  "And you're giving it to me." The pages flutter as he flicks their edge. He shifts his gaze to take in the other boy, “Can I read it?”

  "Of course. You deserve the option to read it - even if you choose not to." Naegi’s face lights up brightly, “This is your story, I know it might not feel this way - maybe things will never be that way ever again - but it’s still part of your history. Maybe it will make things make more sense.”

  With the way the other boy speaks he suspects that he isn’t the first one to read this file. Just the thought makes his skin crawl uncomfortably. It shouldn’t even matter, this isn’t exactly private and he isn’t the person that would have any say or opinion on the matter. And yet he can’t shake the feeling. 

  "I see."

  Even as he mumbles, he's still transfixed by the sight of the pages flicking by. He can just about catch sight of random words and pictures littering the pages. Family. Diligent. Quiet. Detached. Driven. They flash by too fast on the pages for him to catch any more.

  "I…" Naegi pauses for a moment and peers over his shoulder at the door, "I should probably head back as there's lots of work I need to do… Is there anything you need before I go?" 

  "No." He practically snaps, leaving zero room for hesitation.

  "Okay. Well, let us know if you do need anything."

  Thankfully that is enough of a hint though. With the exception of a small pause to look over Izuru, Naegi takes his leave. Abandoning Izuru alone with Hajime’s file. He could swear he can feel every fibre of the folder rubbing against the skin of his fingers.

  Would this folder mention the strange galaga girl? He doubts it - it was made by Hopes Peak Academy after all. Anything of true importance would almost certainly be overlooked by them. He wouldn’t be surprised if this is just some weird medical summary of theirs given, after all what else would they even bother writing about. 

  Without any mental input from him, his hand flicks open the folder to reveal the paper within. It's almost like someone else's hand is guiding him. Yet he doesn't resist it. Not this time. 

  It's almost underwhelming seeing what is inside though. He isn't sure what he'd been expecting, it is a school report after all, but the first page is nothing more than trivial tick boxes and body measurements. Nevertheless he finds himself scanning through it as if he didn't know his own body. Drinking in every ounce of information and piecing together the mental image of the boy who used to stand in his place and of this body before Hope’s Peak rebuilt it. 

  However, if he was hoping the other pages were better he's sorely mistaken.

  ‘Hajime Hinata is an excellent student. He's one of the most driven and dedicated students in the class, always showing up to class at least ten minutes early to get extra work done. Although his grades aren't quite matching his drive there is no reason for concern so far. Extra paid tuition session have been recommended. With time he is believed to be a model reserve course student.’

  Izuru scoffs. Of course. He can barely stand to read any of the saccharine drivel. It's no surprise a weak suck up like Hajime would be Hopes Peak’s ideal student.

  Skipping over the rest of the praise laden first page, he delves deeper in. The tone changes almost immediately - the whiplash couldn't be stronger. Golden boy no more apparently.

  The rest of the file appears to all be disciplinary notes. Ten minutes early becomes twenty minutes late. Quiet becomes reserved which eventually evolves into detached after the murder of two classmates. And after each disciplinary note the same two reasons are listed: lack of academic progress and family issues. Everything was slowly drifting further and further away. 

  By the time he closes the file he has barely learnt anything new. Certainly nothing useful to him. It seems Hajime couldn't even handle the reserve course… Truly pathetic.

  Despite the sheer lack of anything of substance, he finds himself going back to the start and reading it again. And again. And again. Of course there's never anything new. His image of Hajime remains static but he still reads it.

  He really needs to get out this room… Where can he go though? In the past he would simply walk through the ruined streets whenever the need over took him but that's not exactly possible right now. He's trapped right here. Is he supposed to just keep walking around the room exercising his muscles forever? There's not many places he can go so that limits it down at least.

  Tucking the file away under the clothes in his draw, he shuffles out of his room and out towards the same place he always goes. And just like every other time, she's right there waiting for him. 

  "Hello again, Kamukura." He notices the book in her hand is different today. He's not surprised given how much time she must have to spend here.

  "Are you here to use the program again?" She sets her book down to address him.

  Is he? He never had any intention to go in yet here he is. What was he hoping for coming here? Sure, the Neo World Program seems like it's outside but that's not what he's craving.

  "Not exactly. I was wondering if you had a rooftop or courtyard. Some place where I can go outside." 

  As soon as the words leave his mouth she freezes. Her brows tighten as she stares off at some distant point on the floor. Perfectly calculating all the options.

He’s not even sure why he asks it. Just yesterday they’d been all but told that they’re banned from leaving this floor, let alone going outside. Yet Naegi had said he could ask for anything he wants. Besides, Kirigiri had probably given more freedom than she was ever supposed to. If he never asks then he will never learn. What is the harm in at least asking?

  She rubs her chin gently, not quite looking at him before opening her mouth to speak. He’s already bracing himself for the instant rejection but instead, "There's a rooftop I could take you to. I would have to accompany you while there though, of course." 

  Logically, he doesn't really know what she would be able to do to stop him. In a fight it's no competition - especially on a rooftop where they're separated from everyone. Even so, he stays quiet. Surely she's smart enough to already realise all this.

  "That's fine." 

  There's no point arguing. He doesn't doubt that she'll just sit there quietly anyway. If he was going to have anyone accompany him he would rather it be her. For the first time in weeks he’ll be able to breath ‘fresh’ air and feel the wind on his face. He’ll be able to see a sky that isn’t made from 1’s and 0’s. 

  Without another word, she stands up tall and straight, book clutched tightly in her hand. He can see the books spine still completely perfect. Considering how gently she holding it he doubts it ever will be damaged.

  With her large strides it doesn't take long for them to find their way to the very same locked door him and Kazuichi had stumbled across the other day. While there was no sign of a lock, she doesn’t hesitate before swiftly touching her pass to the handle as it clicks open. He shouldn't be surprised… Ahead of him he can see the staircase behind the door goes both up and down - probably all the way up and down the building. No wonder this had to be locked. Just getting out here instantly gives you access to the entire building. How many stair cases down until you get to the bottom floor? How far away is freedom? 

  She still doesn't say anything as they begin climbing the stairs. Without windows it's hard to tell how far they are from the roof. Judging by the outside when they arrived it could just be a flight or two, or it might be an entire marathons worth. Kirigiri’s steely expression makes it hard to tell which it is.

  When they'd first gotten here they might as well have been blindfolded. The elevators they'd used never showed floor numbers and they were carted around to so many different parts of the building that it became hard to tell them all apart. There is no elevator here so that must be on the other side of the building. 

  Regardless, he follows her every step. The monotony of the motion is draining but it would take more than stairs to wind him at this point. Their pace isn't as fast as he'd like but it's better than having Kirigiri twist her ankle in her pristine heeled boots. It's not like there's any point in running up the stairs anyway - what else does he have to do with his day?

  Despite that, it's a relief when they come to a stop. A black fire door stands in front of them temptingly, luring him closer. He'd only counted five flights of stairs so their rooms are near the top of the building. It would be harder for them to escape from a high floor like this but he doubts they chose the floor for that reason.

  "Here you go." She pushes the door open and allows him through first.

  As he passes he could swear he sees a minuscule smile on her face. He has to look twice to make sure he's not imagining it. Before he can be certain she's already stepped forward, closing the rooftop door behind her.

  "I'll sit back here and read. Let me know when you're done and we'll go back." She hums and without another word elegantly takes a seat on the floor right next to the door. He tries to nod in acknowledgement but she's already buried in her book once again.

  Putting her behind him, he approaches the edge of the roof. For the first time in days - weeks really - fresh air is hitting his skin. He'd forgotten how great this feels. The sharp cool wind prickles and he can smell the briney tinge of the sea being carried with it. The cold biting breeze nips at his skin now he has no suit jacket to provide a barrier. Even if he had one he wouldn’t want it now. Not when his mind feels more awake and alive than it has in weeks, maybe even months. 

  It takes him back years to the first time he ever went outside. After months locked up in the basement the first taste of fresh air felt like life being breathed into him. The taste of something other than sweat and humidity. Of course the feeling hadn't lasted but in the moment he truly had felt it. 

  Maybe it's the height of the building or just the proximity to the ocean beyond - most likely a combination of both - but the wind is fiercer here than he's ever experienced before. It's fortunate he has good balance because if he didn't he'd almost certainly be blown back.

  His long black hair billows behind him almost like a sail. It's never really bothered him before but he finds himself wishing he'd tied it up properly before coming up here. He knew he should have just kept his hair tie around his wrist at all times. 

  It's a little better when he takes a seat on the edge of the roof. His hair is still freely trailing behind him but the cold air on his scalp isn’t the worst. He can close his eyes and pretend hes back on top of the Hopes Peak academy building, watching the chaos unfold beneath him again. With his legs dangling over the edge he can peer down at the island below him. It was never a large island but it looks like nothing from up here. It only barely looks bigger than the distant islands dotted around on the horizon.

  It's not hard to transpose images of the island he's seen in the Neo World Program onto the scenery below. Of course the trees in there are vivid green and full of life compared to their counterparts here, but there's no way anyone could avoid seeing the similarities. When his eyes close he can imagine he's down there, surrounded by the same bright trees from the Neo World program. Colours and sun light bathing around him. Drowning him amongst the comforting heat. 

  While he sits there with his eyes closed, he could swear he can hear something. Someone calling his name. No, not his name, it's someone calling for Hajime. Their low voice is somehow both cheerful and malicious at the same time. A patronising call. He's heard that voice before - he has to have - but every time he chases after the answer it runs away from him.

  It's not just that voice either. A whole symphony has joined in. They crash against his ears, each tearing at each other in a desperate fight for his attention.

  "Come on Hajime. We still have two laps left of our run. Or do you need to stop?"

  "Whatever happens, I'll believe in you." 

  "Is that all you've got! Give it your all!" 

  "I will not allow you to die without my permission." 

  "Hajimeeeee! You gotta play louder than that!"

  He can't make heads or tails of any of them. There's no doubt that he's heard all those voices before but they all blend into one unfamiliar, messy ball of noise. And yet just the thought of him make his chest hum softly. The warm glow of something deep within him setting alight. 

  His eyes snap open and they all fall silent. Nothing more than echoes of memories are left behind. Even those memories are being chased away. He can barely cling to the trails of them. Once again he’s just chasing shadows. Is this doomed to be the rest of his life? Clawing desperately at something that is long gone? Waiting pointlessly. 

  As overwhelming as the sound had been, their absence is somehow even more so. However when he screws his eyes closed again there's nothing. No matter how many times he attempts to drag them back, they're well and truly gone. A soft warm feeling is left in their wake though.

  He tries to look down at the island below again but there's no pull of familiarity. At least nothing beyond his own memories. Rolling darkness as far as the eye can see. The crash of waves against the rocky shoreline. The murky water stretching out beyond the horizon.

  Was that somehow Hajime's memories? There's no other explanation for them but that somehow feels wrong. Hadn't the file said he was reserved and detached? Those voices didn't exactly give that impression. He should know not to rely on anything made by Hopes Peak by now though. Maybe this was before that though. Back when he was still the ‘diligent’ student showing up far too early for a school that didn’t care. 

  But why would they come back now? Why here of all places? He's supposed to know everything about the mind and psychology - he was literally made for it - and yet he can't think of a single answer. What is the point of these talents if he can't use them when he needs to?!

  Sat here he brings the file up again and stares at the words once more. He tries to picture the boy from these words in the world around him. He tries to see him in the snaps of memories bouncing around in his mind but there is nothing. Just a distant silhouette hovering over him silently. Useless…

  He's not sure how long he sits there, watching the horizon. No matter how long he sits there, the flashes from before are gone. After a while he's forgotten why hes even trying. Any of that lingering warmth has dissipated.

  Eventually, with his arms growing goosebumps and his body growing stiff, they head back down in silence. The others are still no where to be seen and Kirigiri disappears in the blink of an eye. He's left alone in his room all over again. Alone with nothing but words and noises ringing in his mind and the taste of freedom on his lips. 

Chapter Text

  Once again the crackle of flames fills his mind. Overpowering everything else. He’s all too familiar with the pungent sting of smoke. The smell alone has already seeped into his cells. Perforating every part of him. Is this ever going to stop? 

  However, this time there is no sign of life at all. No people reaching out to him. No screams. No finger nails. Just the orange dance of flames from all sides and the soft smell of metal in the air, only barely discernible over the smell of smoke.

  He knows where this is.

  He knows this place.

  His dark eyes take in the crumbling stone and shattered walls that linger just beyond the flames. Littering the landscape once more, bring him right back to this night. Tokyo crumbling to dust all around him. The once vast world closing in more and more with every passing second. 

  Over the sound of crackling flames he can just about hear the stone cracking underfoot as he tries to back away from the scene. Yet even now, he doesn't dare look down though. There is no time to. Not when he's too preoccupied with what he already knows is beyond those flames. Hiding amongst the rubble.

  "Why?" The words whisper in the wind as the flames slowly begin to die down. For a moment he tries to delude himself by pretending it's nothing more than the strange sounds of the wind calling. The false hopes don't stop the churning of his stomach though.

  "Why?" It's the child's voice again. That droning whining high pitched drivel he hated so much. It's been years since he last heard those words being spoken but he remembers the voice like it was just yesterday.

  The flames crawl further back, revealing more of the shattered stone and brick around him. It's almost as if they're running away from him too. Recoiling before him as fast as they can.

  "Mommy…?” The voice is louder this time. Somehow even more high pitched. Grating against him as he winces. Almost tripling over his own feet as they fumble over a loose stone. It's only then that his feet finally decide to freeze. Refusing to let him try to slip away once more.

 With no flames to shield his view, the sight of her pierces through him once again. Her black hair splayed on the rocks and blood oozing out her mouth to drip on the rocks under her tiny body. Her chubby cheeks are pale under the thick layer of pink clotting on the skin. Her soft brown eyes shimmering slightly where the light of the flames hit them.

  Is it normal for people to remember so much about a person's face? He doesn't know her name or anything about her, yet her very image is etched in his mind. Unable to be forgotten in spite of everything else that has left him.

  "Be quiet." The words spill out of his mouth without him wanting them to.

  This is just a memory playing over in his head. Just a broken record. A sliver of the past imprinting itself on his unconscious mind. Nothing more than a memory. What can a memory do?

  "Please." Those dead lifeless eyes meet his own.

  "I said, be quiet." The hiss that comes out his own mouth sends something dark writhing through his body.

  "No!" The soft defiance only makes the darkness within him tighten violently. Squeezing his throat with everything it has.

  "What?" Despite the way his body feels, the words slip out without any hesitation. Not even the slightest hitch audible within the words. Cool ice slithering out into the roaring world.

  "Why did you hurt us?" 

  Why? What a dumb and basic question in this day and age. Is there ever a why anymore? No…he shakes his head clear as he bites down as hard as he can on his tongue. There is a reason and he knows it. The why always seems to be Junko. 

  Hands curl into fists at his side, knuckles clicking from the strain. For some reason the suit he's clad suddenly feels like it's full of ants. His overwhelming need to always be covered is the only thing that stops him from stripping down there and then. As he tries to focus on anything else he finds his eyes screwing closed on instinct and yet it does little to relieve the itchy, twitchy feeling that overwhelms him.

  "Do not make me repeat myself. Be quiet." He takes a deep steady breath and tries to ignore the whiny child.

  But despite the warning, the quiet is shattered once again but insufferable screeching. It might not be words but the ungodly cries are almost worse. Thankfully they don't last long. Before either of them can react a loud bang splits between them. A tiny thud and then everything is quiet. The eyes are lifeless once again.

~~~

01/05 - 06:54

  Darkness wraps around him again. A comforting hug smothering him as he blinks his eyes blearily. Eyes struggling to adjust to the room as his head keeps thundering on drastically. Yet the more his eyes adjust, the more confused he is. Gone are the flames and bodies and rubble. Gone are the cries that claw at his ears. Instead all that swarms around his vision is the soft black of his assigned room. Just the empty around him swelling up once more.

  Another dream? He rubs a quaking hand down his sweaty face. Izuru knows everything about dreams except how to stop them it seems. This sort of thing shouldn't be able to touch him, yet his hand still shakes and his blood thunders in his ears like a marching band. 

  Of course Hopes Peak couldn't even make him properly…

  It's the sticky sheen all over his skin which eventually forces him to get up out of the bed. Laying there, feeling the filth of the facility slowly clinging to him, is enough to spread the shaking across his whole body. He has to purge this feeling by any means.

  That is how he ends up boxed into the adjoined bathroom, his hand and head pressed up against the tiled wall. Scalding hot water slams into his back and races down every inch of his exposed skin. His usually tanned skin is rapidly turning bright red but he still doesn't move. The blistering heat slowly relieves the pressure building up inside his head. 

  During the tragedy he used to only ever shower under icy cold water - after all what was the real difference - but the appeal of the heat is hard to deny now he's stood here. Considering both times he has had a shower here, it's clear there is no competition. The heat purging all other thoughts. Steam smothering his mind.

  If it wasn't for the sheer boredom, he could stay here for forever. At least right now the almost random pattern of water drops hitting him just about enough occupy his mind for a little while.

  However, just like everything else, eventually the boredom wins out. The eternal victor. He pulls himself out of the waters path and into the surrounding ice. The sudden change has him racing for his towel and clothes in record time. 

  As he scrubs every trace of water off his body he catches sight of himself in the mirror. Sure enough, once more his hair is hanging their limply. Lacking volume as it sticks awkwardly to his skin, all elegance and structure gone for good. Flyaway strands of hair jut out randomly and imperfectly all over the place, shattering the image he had once held of himself. If it wasn’t for the eyes staring back at him and the soft scar that wraps around his skull, he would struggle to be able to identify himself. 

  Unconsciously, his hand drifts over to poke the scar itself ever so slightly. It's just a scar. It feels no different to every other time he's touched it, as invisible and pointless as ever. How infantile to be so drawn to it after all this time? If anything, he should be proud of it - it's what makes him him after all. Yet his raw and bright red finger still rubs over it carefully. Tracing every line with perfect precision. 

  He's relieved when the growling of his stomach cuts through the odd moment. His body as demanding as ever. Needy and desperate…

  But, not wanting to linger in front of the steamy mirror, he grabs the same dull and repetitive clothes as always. Shrugging them on with ease now there are no buttons and detailing to deal with. There isn't much he can do with his damp hair so he simply pulls it into some semblance of a bun and leaves it at that. The heavy wet weight tugs down on the top of his head but at least it isn't dragging lifelessly behind him. 

  But when he finds his way to the communal area no one is there. No dirty plate or food are visible on the counters. Even the tea set Sonia seems to be attached to is missing from the kitchen. He’s not sure why he thought anyone would be. He didn’t see anyone yesterday so why would he be seeing them now? So much for Kazuichi not wanting him to leave…

  For a moment he wonders what the boy is doing right now. Given the time probably sleeping. Did he bother leaving his room yesterday? Did anyone? He should be relieved, no annoying draining people sitting around and grating on his nerves. But instead his stomach churns at the lifeless sight before him. They're probably all in their rooms. 

  You know what, he should cook again. He did it before, why not do it again. If he wants food he doesn’t need anyone else to be here. He found himself food for years and he certainly didn’t need people to eat with then. 

  Trying to distract himself from the echoing of the room, he rifles through the cupboards carefully, searching every inch if each shelf. He’s not sure what he’s expecting, it’s not like new food is going to have magically appeared over night, but he still lets out a soft sigh. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking. Or maybe his brain really has short circuited. 

  Despite the countless recipes floating around in his mind, he simply grabs the nearest food. Eggs and toast are fine enough. Anything as long as it settles his stomach. 

  But as the eggs begun crackling on the hob a shaded figure appears in his mind. The slightly askew chefs hat. The bright red apron. Teruteru. As usual, the name consumes his mind at once. For moment his eyes scrunch shut and he's hit with the smell of succulent meat and foreign spices. But as soon as he opens his eyes again he's greeted by nothing more than his own thin and slowly burning egg.

  More ghosts of the past.

  Unlike the warm gentle feeling of cooking last time, this time the image doesn't leave his mind as he tries to shovel down the meager food he has plated up. He can still see the short boy filling up the empty room around him. He still remembers the sick deluded ultimate despair, but other memories of him lying on the beach in the sand suddenly flood his mind. Peaceful images of him stood over a plate of food in a kitchen. Moment where he almost looks normal. When he almost looks human.

  Izuru only makes it halfway through his meal before he has to push it away to one side. The smell of meat is entirely imaginary but just the thought along with the sight of Teruteru is enough to completely upturn his stomach. Wringing it out for all he is worth. The rest of his food is better off in the bin than in his stomach…

  Even with the food safely rotting away in the bin, he can still clearly visualise the chef in his mind. No amount of reminding that the boy is all but dead in the next room over can chase the image of him away. Another ghost to add to the lineup. It's most definitely starting to get annoying.

  Perhaps that's why he turns and leaves the kitchen in the opposite direction of the assorted bedrooms. By this point he might as well be moving on autopilot he has gone here so many times. Although he knows for certain that he isn’t searching for Alter Ego or the Neo World Program, he's still just pulled in closer. Led along by the nose. 

  Maybe he just needs to see the bodies laying there unconscious…maybe his eyes just need to confirm for themselves to know they’re truly all gone forever.

  But as soon as he rounds the doorway he's hit by a different sight to anything he was expecting. One of the occupied chambers has been opened, the bright green light spilling from within lighting up the room even more than normal.

  Bathed in the glow is Sonia sat quietly on a chair beside the chamber. One of her hands is diligently moving across a notebook on her lap, clutching onto her pencil for dear life. The other is hidden behind the lid of the chamber but appears to be reaching inside the chamber itself. 

  After taking in the scene Izuru begins to prowl further in but she never once looks up. Soft golden hair has fallen out of it's neat style and drapes across her face, hiding her expression and perhaps shielding her vision. 

  The closer he gets the more he begins to notice a near silent hum that is barely avoiding being drowned out by the background chatter of all the machinery. At first it appears to be an energetic cheerful little tune but no matter how long he listens to it, he can't quite place it. Somehow it escapes him of all people. Yet the more he stands and listens, the more somber it sounds. Logically he knows that she isn't humming it any differently, but somehow it still sounds vastly different as his ears atune to the sound.

  Not wanting to interrupt the humming, he tiptoes ever so slightly over to the hunched girl. Not too close but just enough to peer over her shoulder and get a better view of the inside of her notebook. It seems like some kind of sketch but it's too early in the process to really tell what it is yet.

  "Oh, Ha - I mean, Kamukura. I did not expect to see you here." Sonia jumps back, almost tipping in her chair, as one hand flies to her chest. Pencil lost as it slips from her grip without a second thought. He is simply left with the sound of her breathy mutters as her other hand shakily presses the notebook closed before he can see anyone. 

  The humming has stopped now.

  "What are you doing here?" He clears his throat and stands up straight, eyes narrowed. He is all too aware that he had no right to be asking and yet… 

  "I could ask you the same." She folds her arms tightly, trying to pin them down but it's too late at this point. 

  Nevertheless, she still shifts herself as far as the chair will let her to try and hide the body in the chamber from his view even though it’s a pointless endeavour. Nothing short of closing the chamber itself can shield the body from his eyes now. 

  At first he expects to see the soft crimson locks of Mahiru. He'd rarely left the country to examine affairs beyond Japan, but whenever he had see either of them they were never separated. Effectively Queen and handmaiden to every extent they could be.

  However there's no trace of the freckles or colourful hair anywhere to be seen. No instead he sees none other than the floppy back and white streaked hair of Gundham Tanaka. He doesn't remember ever seeing the two in the same room beyond when the entire group gathered. 

  No, wait… 

  Burning pain stabs through his skull, sizzling along the lines of his scar. Images of Gundham and Sonia running around hand in hand flood his mind. Pictures of their grinning blushing faces. Memories of tears and bitter goodbyes. It's a far cry from the memories has has of either of them yet his addled mind clings to them with a death grip. Anything to prevent the warm bittersweet memories from slipping out his grasp again.

  Mustering every last piece of dignity and composure he has, he maintains the cool mask covering his expression. He can't collapse in blinding pain in front of any of these people!

  "I just needed to see them again." Sonia doesn't dare meet his eyes as she speaks. Blissfully unaware of any of the thoughts wrestling in his mind, "I understand what you and the others were saying but it is so hard to believe when they are still here and I can hear their heartbeats."

  Searing heat still courses through his head, burning the tips of his ears. It's hard to hear Sonia's words through the hazy muffle building up around his head, let alone the flailing heartbeats of the bodies all around them. Sonia doesn't say anything else though - he can't see her lips move at least. She just shifts in her seat again to take Gundham's hand once more. Their hands still slip together perfectly, a mirror image of those memories poisoning his mind.

  Cutting through the heat is a quiet sound again. The same soft humming song from before. It pierces through the veil scratching at it with full force determination. He no longer even bothers attempting to fight against it.

  "You loved him?" He's not sure whats the point of asking. It might as well already be written all over her face. It echoes from the way a rogue finger gently strokes his cold, limp hand. She still clings to his hand though. And he still stares at the scene.

  "Hmmm…maybe once I did." She mumbles softly. He's not going to bother correcting her though. He already knows after all.

  Despite days having passed, his legs still ache under his own weight. Now would be a good time to leave - he has the perfect excuse reasoning - but he doesn't. Perhaps he should blame the nightmare for twisting him into knots but instead of leaving he approaches Kirigiri's desk and drags her chair over without a second thought. Setting it beside Sonia as he perches on the edge. Joining her in silence.

  As he peers past Sonia at the form of Gundham, he's struck by how young he looks for the first time. Perhaps it's the lighting. Or maybe the malnutrition of being in this thing for so long. More likely than either of those, it is nothing more than the innocence of a rest away from Junko, despair, and everything else. Freedom from the biting shackles binding him for once. 

  If he didn't know better, he might be able to be fooled into thinking the boy was just sleeping. While it's a common analogue for death, it's the first time he's actually believed it. At first he'd thought Sonia was foolish to hold onto any thought of them still being alive, and while it's still a foolish hope, he can see why she might be lead to believe that now. Do all the others also look that innocent? No. He's not going to open up the other chambers and stare into those lifeless faces.

  For a while Sonia doesn't say a thing. He doesn't either… The soft song Sonia had been humming returns to fill the empty silence and that's enough for them both. She draws in her notebook as he drinks in the sight of the boy in front of him. He tries to search the still face for any sign of the maniac he had once crossed paths with on the streets of Tokyo. Instead he's just watching a seemingly innocent teenage boy. Intruding on a stolen moment between what once was. He doesn't leave the room though - not when she hasn't asked him to leave yet. Not when he still hasn't seen her finished drawing.

  Sonia is the first one to break their silence. Its been so long that the sound alone is enough to make his body tense awkwardly before he has a chance to prepare himself. 

  "It has been so long since I spent this much time with him." 

  Once again her pencil and notebook have been abandoned, but this time both hands cling to Gundham's. The notebook and pen perfectly balanced on her lap as she does so. It's as if he's somehow going to slip further away than he already has.

  "I do not know how I could have gone that long without seeing him when being around him feels like this." Her voice hitches inelegantly. Gone is the sharp cool voice he'd grown accustomed to. 

  "Feels like what?" 

  "Like…like warmth…like safety…like homemade dinners. Not the ones made by the chefs but the ones my mother used to make back when I was very small." She sniffles out the last words.

  For the first time he has absolutely no idea what she is talking about. Has the insanity finally hit her? Did the stress sink its claws into her for good? He knows of love and it's affliction on people - the biological urge driving reproduction - but warm food? Not so much. Even by a poets standard it doesn't exactly flow off the tongue.

  Did Hajime ever love anyone? Certainly not. If so why would he want to become Izuru so pathetically and desperately? Or did the same illogical behaviour that separated Sonia and Gundham apply to Hajime too? He tries to imagine the boy from the files Naegi gave him falling in love but it just doesn't fit.

  "That's a strange way to describe love." He sighs but leans closer to Sonia anyway.

  "It is? My sincerest apologies. I suppose it always appeared normal to me." She stops for a moment and fully turns in her chair to face him, "You didn't feel that way with Junko?"

  The question catches his breath in his throat. Why would she bring up her of all people? He most certainly doesn't associate her with any kind of safety or…warm food. Perhaps mild curiosity or uncertainty but nothing that…stable. He shouldn't really be surprised, he couldn't exactly love someone like Junko. Despite what she said over and over about Yasuke and Mukuro - even him on her bad days - he often wonders if she was even capable of love. Certainly not of the strange warm feelings Sonia seems to be describing. 

  "Of course not. I didn't love Junko." It feels reassuring to say the words out loud.

  He didn't love Junko. He never did. She couldn't have ever deserved any affection from him. Certainly not whatever Sonia is describing as love. She only ever had the ability to bend him to her whims because he allowed her to. Yes, he allowed her. She was nothing more than another person with big dreams who fell short.

  "I see. The same is true for us as well, you know." 

  "What do you mean?" He cocks his head to one side.

  "For a long time it felt as though we loved her. That love kept us tethered as we helped carry out her vision for the world. Perhaps it is presumptive for me to speak on the others behalf but it is most certainly how I felt. Sitting here with him now, it feels like the cloud that was hanging over me has been lifted a little. Love wasn’t whatever we felt around her back then. Do you suppose the program wasn't as ineffective as we were lead to believe?" As she asks that her throat bobs. Her gaze lifting from Gundham just enough to peer at him from under her lashes.

  All the while her finger taps the side of her thigh compulsively. Through the incessant movement he catches a glimpse of her chewed and deformed nails. The usual perfect manicure job has been torn apart in a matter of days. It's almost impressive.

  "Maybe it wasn't." The reassurance at least settles her rogue tapping. 

  Face now bright and eyes wide, she begins babbling to no end about the boy asleep in front of them, "He was my first true friend, you know. He did not pay me any mind for the first month or two. Not until he found out I had horses and hounds back in Novoselic. He even allowed me to go to his house to learn his demon taming abilities!" 

  "It sounds like you were close."

  For a split second her smile wobbles, but just as fast she recovers her composure again, "Yes, once upon a time. Unfortunately things have changed since that time." Despite the smile she's plastering on her face, it might as well not be there at all.

  Izuru closes his eyes and tries to focus on his memory of Gundham. His nails dig into his palm as if he's trying to physically dig out the memories. Strangely enough, the more he pictures the strange black haired boy the more other memories begin coming back. Sonia and Gundham walking through strange brightly coloured halls, hand in hand. It sends a blinding pain through his head once again but he doesn't flinch away no matter how much it burns. 

  "I suppose." He takes a deep breath in and stares down at his hands. "Why don't you tell me a bit about them? What they were like before Junko?” 

  At once Sonia turns in her seat to fully face him. She begins blurting out a range of stories about everyone in the class at a rapid fire. At times he can barely make out the words she's saying, even so, he tries to imagine every word she says. Superimposing his limited knowledge of them all on top of these new disjointed stories being fed to him.

  Tales of Kazuichi and Ibuki making - successfully and unsuccessfully - a collection of 'super ultra' electric guitars. Ones about how the girls snuck into Mikan’s room to keep her company when she fell sick with exhaustion. How they'd managed to narrowly avoid the surly security guard Sakakura. Tales of Nekomaru and Akane’s intense battles. Of when Nagito won every raffle prize at their festival despite never buying a single ticket. He certainly doesn't miss the fondness with which she recollects the time Gundhams animals broke free and ran amuck through the school.

  All the while he leans back in his chair, quietly breathing them all in. Unlike all the other times memories of the past have been brought up, this time it seems to chase away the ache in his mind.

  Then, all at once, the words stop entirely. Izuru’s eyed immediately flicker open as he searches Sonia's face but she's not looking at him. He starts to wonder if she ever was. No, instead she seems to be searching each of the sleeping bodies around them.

  Despite his mind reaching forward and aching for any new information, he stays still and quiet. Unspoken words settle between them.

  For a moment the hollow look in her eyes seems far too familiar. Flashes of someone else's memories. Someone else's tears and frustration. It all bleeds into this one moment. All into those two eyes.

  And that's when she decides to speak.

  "Did you ever…see Chiaki?" She still keep her head tilted away. As if terrified at the thought of seeing him as he sees her.

  His throat constricts at the mere sound of that name. The visual of her tiny, shining, stupid hairpin under the bright light of the sun permeates his mind.

  "Why are you asking?" 

  "It is just…" She pauses, biting down on her bottom lip. "Do you remember when I told you I watched the recordings the Neo World?"

  With that he sighs deeply. Of course he’s not going to forget how poor of a decision that was. He hadn't expected any different. She's only human after all. A mere human that exists to simply be manipulated by everyone she comes across.

  At first his fists tighten, but before he knows it they've fallen splayed open again. Those wide eyes. She isn't even trying to hide their soft glisten. It looks so much like…

  It's not hard to see that the program has affected them all. She's not queen anymore. Just another mere human down here. Weak, and small, and truly hopeless for the first time in her life. It's pathetic. It's pitiable. But it's pathetic and pitiable in a different way to the grovelling woman who used to kneel at Junko's feet.

  He's seen this look before. Not many times given the world cultivated by Hopes Peak and Junko, but he has seen it nonetheless. He never knew what it would be called but now he knows exactly what it is. It is humanity.

   Slowly and deliberately, he gets up off the chair and walks to the other side of the chamber. From this angle he can't avoid seeing the small rise and fall of Gundhams chest. Beyond the pale skin, he can still see tinges of pink lingering at the edges of his skin.

  "What did you see?" 

  "It is not what I saw, it is what I remembered. Everything that happened there came back to me all at once. It was rather strange to be honest."

  With his eyes still kept on Gundham below him he can't see her face as she speaks, but he can hear every microvement. He can hear the hitch in her voice, the rustle of her clothes, the tapping if her fingernails against one another.

  "What does that have to do with Chiaki?" 

  "You - well Hajime I suppose - was very close with Chiaki while we were in there. It seemed to me as if he would wish to remember her, even though we have left that place." She barely manages to squeeze out the last words. It comes out slowly - putting it off as long as humanly possible.

  Its only now that he looks up at her only to find that she's still watching him. Not even pretending to back off. Her eyes still glisten but they look sharper somehow. Focused on the present and no longer drifting in the waters of the past.

  His hands unconsciously grip around the edge of the chamber. "I'm sure there are a great many things he'd want to remember." He takes a shuddering breath in. A cold chill runs down his spine but clenching the chamber tighter seems to be enough to chase the feeling away.

  "One would assume."  

  Before he knows it she's gotten up as well and is stood opposite him. One porcelain hand reaches across the space between them. 

  Immediately his body braces itself. Every inch of himself tenses, ready for cold harsh skin to press against his, but instead he finds warmth. Her hand is soft. The skin unbroken and perfect. Not only is there no scarred ridges, he can't even feel a callous. However, he imagines that if he were to bend down and smell the skin he'd catch the unmistakable tang of metal. He doubts she'd appreciate that though.

  A rogue finger brushes his hand delicately as she speaks, "I did not realise what Hopes Peak did to you in the past. I simply assumed that you were like Junko. You both seemed so close back then." Nothing in her voice breaks this time.

  "It doesn't bother me." He stands up straight, pushing off the edge of the chamber. Her hand is knocked off but she keeps it lightly resting where his hand had once been.

  "The last few years of my life didn't bother me before either."

  He steps back again. And again. 

  "I'm not you. I'm not Hajime." His voice is as still and steady as ever, but the only person he can't fool is himself. Not when he can feel every shifting twitch of his own heart. Although his arms are folded, hiding his hands, he could almost swear he still feels her gentle hand on top of his.

  "I suppose not…" She retakes her seat behind her but it most certainly doesn't feel like a retreat.

  Her ghostly presence lingers over him. It's just like Junko all over again, but he doesn't feel himself shrinking away from the phantom feeling. If anything, the weak part of his mind almost wants to reach back towards her. He doesn't move though. No, he stays rooted firmly. 

  "You never mentioned Chiaki in your previous stories." Words are the most he's willing to reach forwards with.

  He's already seen how Chiaki's story ends, he started with her conclusion after all, but he brings it up anyway. Partially to distract himself from the moment, partially out of curiosity. It's hard to judge a story by the ending. Maybe understanding the girl still haunting his dreams will somehow chase her out of his mind for good.

  "She died when Junko was making us into her servants. We watched it all happen… After that it does get a little difficult to talk about her." Her hands are now playing with the loose fabric of her clothes. Stretching out in reach of something. He clears his throat, eyes fixated on watching every movement of her hands. 

  "I know. I was with her in her last moments." 

  He doesn't know why he's bothering to tell her. If anything this would make her feel worse. It's the first time he's ever told anyone about the encounter. Even Junko never knew he'd seen the dying girl.

  "I see. At least she wasn't alone, I suppose." The same fragile smile crosses Sonia's lips.

  Company doesn't mean anything to the dying. How could it when you are about to lose everything? Even if it did, he doubts his presence was what she wanted. He's no fool, she was always reaching for Hajime.

  Not meeting her gaze he walks around to take his seat again. This time he angles his body away from her, legs folding the opposite way. It doesn't make much of a difference but it's better this way.

  "Could you tell me about her? She most likely wouldn't want to be remembered for her death alone." Not that it matters to her anymore…

  "Of course!"

  An hour passes. Then two. Izuru doesn't have to say a thing as she recounts countless tales of their lives at the academy. It almost sounds like a nice place - at least if he forgets everything he has every experienced at the place.

  Pieces of Chiaki come into view. Eyes closed he pieces together his image of her beyond the blood, tears, and desperation. He doubts they’re anything more than his imagination. A fictitious image of the girl built from Sonia's memories. And yet even just those thoughts of her feel oddly soft. He doesn't even mind how much time is passing. It feels comfortable and quiet. It feels like peace.

  He doesn't know how long they spend there. Their weakened legs grow numb from sitting but they don't dare break the moment. There are worse kinds of pain after all.

  It's only when they both drag themselves back to their rooms and beds that he realises, neither Kirigiri nor the others ever came to the room.

Chapter Text

02/05 - 01:39

  He wakes up to the sound of screaming. He's not even sure why because it isn't exactly loud screaming. The walls between them have dampened most of the sound until it's nothing more than a murmur in the air. Yet here he is, sat up in bed, listening to it.

  He should try to go to sleep… This isn't something they'd want him to hear. He's intruding on their privacy… And yet he just sits there. Still not moving. Still not trying. Brow furrowing as he focuses more and more on the sound.

  It's not like he's lived with many people before. In fact, Kazuichi might be the only person he's ever 'lived with' before - if you could call that living together anyway. Is there some kind of protocol for this situation? Being a good housemate must not be one of the talents Hope's Peak cultivated.

  Minutes pass but still the screaming doesn't stop. Tickling at the edge of his mind. Squirming there relentlessly. 

  Sighing, he slides out of the bed. Wobbling slightly as he finds his balance gripping the edge of the mattress. If he's not going to lie down and sleep then he might as well go out there and help. While he's not sure what he will do, hopefully it will come to him when he gets there.

  With a new found resolve, he pulls open the door to step into the corridor. However, as soon as it opens, he finds himself face to face with someone else. The sunken, shaking form of Akane is hovering in her own doorway. Her dishevelled hair is a matt of tangles that fall over parts of her face. At least that covers the sunken hollows of her cheeks somewhat. It had only been a few days since they last saw her but he is certain that she somehow looks more skeletal.

  One of her feet had been over the threshold but as soon as she catches sight of him she retreats. Her fragile bones tremble like a new born foal as she clings to the door. But before he can say anything to her she's mustered up enough energy to slam the door closed. If he strains his ears he could swear he can hear her haggard pants pressed up against the door.

  A strange feeling washes over him. He feels sick. Really sick. Not just like his stomach is churning but like bile is truly rising up his throat. She's been nothing but skin and bone as long as he's known her but a new image of her comes to mind now. He can see a version of Akane with muscle and fat. A version that's smiling and strong. He's never cared how close the girl walked to death before and yet now he wonders how they all let her get like this. Is this how Sonia always sees her?

  Part of him wants to drag Akane out but he stops himself. She's never let anyone in before; why would this time be any different? Trying to force his way in wouldn't exactly help her in anyway. He should at least attempt to stay on track.

  Shaking his head softly, he turns his attention to the room beside Akanes. The cries are still muffled but noticeably louder than they had been from his room. Out here there's no doubt they're coming from Fuyuhikos room. 

  He's not sure who he was expecting it to be - maybe Sonia considering her state yesterday - but Fuyuhiko certainly wasn't it. Would he even hear Izuru knocking? And even if he did, would he open the door? He takes a few steps forwards until his fist hovers over the door. There's only one way to find out. If he doesn't Izuru can just go back to bed.

  Knock. Knock. Knock.

  Nothing changes. The muffled sounds of distress are no quieter or louder than before.

  Peering over his shoulder he examines Sonia and Kazuichi’s doors but they're still unmoving. Were only Akane and him woken up? It isn't too strange all things considered and yet he finds himself waiting to see their doors creak open.

  He tries again, slightly louder this time.   But even with his louder knocks the room beyond remains unchanged. It's not as if he can knock much louder without accidentally breaking the door down. 

  He's about to turn around and go back to bed when he stops still. In a last ditch attempt he grips the door handle and pushes it in. Just like that, it swings open with zero resistance.

  Wholly unprepared, he finds himself staring into the young Yakuza's room. It might as well be a carbon copy of Izurus own room. In fact, the only real difference is the slight metallic smell to the air in Fuyuhiko's room.

  The boy is still tangled in his sheets, writhing on the thin bed. It's a miracle he hasn't strangled himself with them given how tightly they've twisted around him in his struggle. There isn't much light in the room but what little there is glistens in the thick sheen of sweat covering Fuyuhiko's exposed skin.

  He's still not screaming at the top of his lungs or anything but Izuru still hastily closes the door behind him. It's not perfect but at least the others shouldn't wake if they hadn't already.

  "Fuyuhiko?" He half calls and half whispers in the most non committal way possible. Even now Fuyuhiko's too lost in his dreams to hear.

  There's only one choice left… He sighs before making a beeline towards the edge of the bed. He has to kneel down to get low enough, the coarse fibres of the carpet pressing against his knees. This is about when he starts to regret just life choices…

  "Fuyuhiko." His hand comes to rest on the boys shoulder and he stops moving at once. 

  In one of the most pathetic displays he's seen, a hand shoots forward to try and grip his wrist. In a single fluid motion he pulls his hand out of the way. Fuyuhiko is left grasping at empty space.

  "Fuyuhiko…are you awake?" He half whispers the words. A foreign softness enters his voice. A breath hanging in the still air between them.

  Although not much is visible with the door now closed, he can see Fuyuhiko's hand shift to brush at the flop of hair now sticking to his forehead. A quiet groan. The shuffling of sheets as he shifts - slowed this time. Less of a battle, more of a stretch.

  "Fuyuhiko?" He just keeps repeating the name. Almost as if he was chanting it.

  "Hajime?" Fuyuhiko's voice cracks, "What's going on?"

  Izuru can just about spot the boys eyes peeking out from under the crook of his arm. Still tightly sealed - although that doesnt really make much of a difference right now.

  "You had a nightmare. I could hear you screaming from my room."

  A groan. More shuffling. The solid form of Fuyuhiko twists away, shrinking in size. He's practically pressed up against the far wall now. The soggy blankets have been drawn up to cover as much of his body as possible. All that's left to see is the top of his head.

  Another inaudible groan. Through the exhaustion and layers he can't tell if it's just a sound or an actual attempt at words.

  "Do you need water?" 

  More muffled groans. Thankfully he can just about see the top of his head shaking. Looking at the blankets and bed it's an obvious lie but he doesn't get up. It's not like he's going to dehydrate. If he needs it he'll get up and get it.

  Should he get up and leave now? He's done his part and woken him up. If it was him he's want the other person gone immediately. But this isn't him; this is Fuyuhiko. No matter what he said, Izuru could tell he didn't like being alone. So, despite his better judgement, he stays.

  Minutes pass in the darkness. He finds himself counting every soft breath emanating from the pile next to him. He listens as the beats between them bit by bit grow longer and longer. His legs begin to ache with that all too familiar sting but he still doesn't bother moving.

  Like a tortoise, he watches as Fuyuhikos small head slowly retreats from the bundle he'd been tucked in. 

  "I wasn't too loud…was I?" The groan sounds like that of a serial smoker but at least it's audible.

  "No. I think Akane and I were the only ones who heard.

  "Great…"

  Clearing his throat he shifts his weight ever so slightly. It sends a new ripple of tingles down his tensed legs.

  "Did you want to talk about it?" That's the right thing to say here? Right? All his knowledge says that people generally like talking about things like this with people… 

  Apparently the same can't be said about Fuyuhiko.

  "Do you want to talk about yours?" 

  What's he supposed to say to that then? He settles for the safe choice and says nothing at all. 

  In the silence he could swear he can hear sniffling. Twisting his head to the side he sees Fuyuhiko, his cheek shining suspiciously  in the dim light. Sure, it certainly could just be the sweat from earlier but he's pretty sure it's not that at all.

  "I…" He opens his mouth but no words come out. Just fantastic. 

  How is he supposed to help Fuyuhiko of all people? He tries to think back to his interactions with Peko and Fuyuhiko before. They were always together so it isn't exactly hard to do. At the time he'd thought her affectionate fawning over him had been off putting but Fuyuhiko hadn't agreed.

  Doing his best to mimic her he reaches forward to set his hand on the boys head. His thumb gently reaches down to brush against Fuyuhikos exposed forehead. Now every inch of his hand feels sticky and dirty but he keeps it there anyway. The damage has been done now.

  Fuyuhiko stills under his hand, his eyes fluttering closed again. The only movement he dares to make is to reach up and lightly brush his cheek with the cuff of his t-shirt. 

  Is he thinking of Peko right now? It's a dumb question really - he must have been thinking about her constantly since he woke up. It's impossible to tell for sure while Fuyuhiko stays silent but he wonders if the dream was about her too. Has he been to see her in her chamber like Sonia or is he more aligned with Akane?

  "Fucking nightmares are the worst…" 

  Izuru smiles and lets out a stifled chuckle. It isn't funny and he doesn't think Fuyuhiko intended it to be either but he laughs anyway. It feels warm and bubbly in his chest for a split moment. Then that feeling passes too.

  "You're supposed to be a genius, right? Haven't you figured out a way to get rid of this shit yet?" Fuyuhiko turns his head towards Izuru slowly. It's enough to displace Izuru's hand but he doesn't bother readjusting instead soothing the side of the boy's head.

  "There is a cure for nightmares but I don't think you would like it." 

  "Fucking try me." Fuyuhiko cranes his head to fully meet Izuru's gaze. He's almost taken aback by the softness and sincerity. It could just be a trick of the darkness but his skin looks pale, missing his signature pink cheeks.

  "In the past lobotomies of a frontal lobe have been shown to cure patients of fear and nightmares. I doubt that is the solution you're looking for." He sighs and leans back, his hand pulling away and returning to his side.

  Fuyuhiko frowns at him uncertainly but he still doesn't replace hand. Being so close to his weak and exposed head as he talks about this…it sends a chill down his body that he can't quite shake. Despite all his mutilations, his skull is still pristine. It probably isn't what he should be focusing on but he can feel the distinct lack.

  "At this point…"

  "Well if you find me some surgical tools in this place we can get to it." He mutters, his mind drifting back to the hospital room just a door or so down from here. 

  Fuyuhiko practically giggles. The soft melodic sound echoes through the room, lifting the darkness somewhat.

  He’s almost certain the other boy is just joking but he refrains from mentioning the tools presence anyway. You can never be too safe…

  "Maybe when we get out this fucking hell hole. For now we'll just have to live with them."

  Despite the boys joking tone and weak smile, a sickly feeling overwhelms Izuru anyway. His own scar tingles and aches. It takes everything he has to not reach up and brush against the marred skin. With every passing second the ache grows stronger and stronger.

  "Perhaps." 

  Thankfully Fuyuhiko seems none the wiser. He leans back against his pillow, sinking in even further. "Though if even a perfect human is stuck with nightmares what hope is there for the rest of us?" 

  "There's a limit to what Hopes Peak could accomplish." He flexes his fingers slightly.

  He supposes he should be glad they didn't cut off his frontal lobe. It certainly feels like the kind of 'upgrade' they'd strive for. Anything they could cut away was up for grabs. The silver linings.

  “Tell me about it. That place was a shit show from the start!” He spits the words out violently.

  He probably shouldn’t be surprised to hear such disdain given where they’re both standing right now, yet it somehow feels like a weight has been lifted off his chest. In fact, he thinks this might be the first time he’s heard someone speak with such open hatred for it. He tries to reccount everything he knows about the boys past but it’s a relatively short list. 

  His mind is taken back to the library and files from the other day. Fuyuhikos name etched onto the side of one of the files. Just like that he could find out everything he needed to know. A few minutes of reading and everything would be clear. And yet the thought of going behind the boys back and reading through it without permission makes his stomach churn uncomfortably.

  But despite his curiosity, he doesn’t ask. In turn, Fuyuhiko doesn’t ask him a thing either. Although they may not know the details they already know more than enough. And, for now, that’s all they need.

~~~

02/05 - 12:51

  He wakes up in his own room. The memory of last night still hangs over him as he blinks up at the ceiling. He could swear his eyelids feel lighter than they normally do as he shakes off the light haze of sleep. 

  Not wanting to leave the warmth of the sheets just yet, he shuffles in the bed to get a good look at the clock on the wall. It’s already past twelve. Where did the entire day go?! Sure, he got up in the middle of the night but he didn’t spend that long with Fuyuhiko before going back to his own room and bed. Did he simply just sleep that long?

  Sighing, he starts to drag himself out of bed. There might not actually be things to do here but spending this much of the day tucked away in here like this feels…uneasy. Like a ticking inside his chest. Like the inevitable slow draining of his life. Another thing he doubts Hope’s Peak was capable of fixing about the human body.

  Like yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that, he grabs the same dull t-shirt and trousers from his draws. After his shower he stands by the mirror in the bathroom and slowly brushes out his hair just like every other day. Arduous monotony. Maybe he should try braiding it today… That would at least keep it slightly out of the way.

  He uses his knuckles to claw softly at his face. Dragging down on the skin of his cheek as he stares himself down. Swallowing hard. Is this what life has been distilled too? He’d never had followed through with Junko's plot if he knew it would end up this dull this fast.

  Releasing his cheeks he instead rubs his eyes lazily. Stretching out his aching limbs and steps out into the world beyond. By now walking about their ‘home’ feels like second nature. Every step already perfectly mapped out within his mind. While actually calling it home might still be going and bit too far, the familiarity is soothing at the very least. 

  While he may despise that sort of monotony, being rooted down here does have some upsides. It’s like a tiny chip has been broken off his guard. He can peek through the gaps and see the other side. It might be odd but not entirely unwanted. 

  As he steps through into the main room he’s greeted by Kazuichi sat cross legged on the floor. An array of metal scraps circle him, slowly closing in. For a second Izuru stares, trying to piece together whatever has been broken apart in his head. Based on the appearance of some of the parts it must have once been some kind of radio. He can’t think of anywhere they even stored a radio in this place but trust Kazuichi to be able to locate it even somewhere like this.

  In the absence of proper tools he has resorted to grabbing the surgical tools from the hospital. They’re now littered amongst the other piece of metal and machinery, discarded wherever he was last using them. In his hand is a small metal cube that Kazuichi is prodding around.

  Izuru doesn’t bother masking his footsteps as he approaches but apparently he doesn’t even need to try. Even as Izuru practically steps ontop of the chaos Kazuichi never looks up. 

  His bottom lip is caught between his teeth as he gnaws at it determinedly. His normally messy hair has been tightly packed into a messy bun with strands sticking out all over, a small scapel tucked behind his ear. He must say, he’s surprised neither Togami, Naegi or Kirigiri have an issue with this at all. Sure, going to the roof is a big deal but a despair ex-despair having a scalpel is fine? 

  “Kazuichi?” He crouches down at the other boys level, staring out at the scene before him, “Kazuichi?” After getting no reaction he cautiously reaches out and delicately taps the boys shoulder.

  “Huh?!” Kazuichi flinches backwards, almost falling over despite being firmly sat down.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you.” Instinctively Izuru backs up, standing up and taking a few steps away from the damage. However the further Izuru moves away, the tighter Kazuichi's shoulders grow. 

  “Nah, it’s fine.” Kazuichi tries to wave it off casually but there's no way he could lie directly to Izuru’s face, “Did you need something?” 

  “No.” He shakes his head a little too fast, “I was just going to grab some food and saw you working here.” 

  “Ah, sorry. It's been ages since I was able to tinker with anything. I guess the urge took over.” He tries to force a chuckle but it peeters out before it even began.

  Ah of course, stress working always was his approach. Apparently that’s still the case even when he doesn’t actually have something he needs to be working on.

  Izuru nods ever so slightly but stays stuck to his spot. Maintaining the distance between them both as best he can.

  “It's just something to keep me occupied y'know.” Kazuichi swallows hard, his breathing rate steadily growing faster and faster.

  “No, I understand.” He gives it his best comforting tone but judging by the subtle twitching of Kazuichi’s hands he wasn’t successful.

  “I swear I’m not crazy.” Kazuichi offers a wobbly smile and readjust his legs carefully. 

  Now that's a loaded statement. Not crazy. At this point there's no way he can believe that’s true of any of them - that is if it's true of anyone left in the world at all. Sanity is still a long distant dream for all of them.

  “Yeah well that makes one of us then.” Izuru rubs the side of his head, “You didn’t happen to wake up last night, did you?” He asks tentatively. Trying not to give too much away as he does so. It’s probably best if he doesn't spill all of Fuyuhiko's issues.

  “Last night?” He has to pause for a moment before answering, “No…not last night. Why?” 

  “No reason. I’m just being curious.”

  “Are you sure? Nothing happened did it?” Kazuichi's brow tenses as he begins slowly leaning closer and closer. Ignoring all the pieces around him as he shimmies as closer as he can without actually hurting himself.

  Izuru opens his mouth ready to instantly shut the question down but then he catches himself, “I actually saw Akane.” 

  “AKANE?!” Kazuichi jumps up like a fire has been lit underneath him, “She left her room?! How did she look?” 

  As if he’s completely forgotten everything that was going on before he storms forwards. All the carefully laid out parts go flying as his feet stamp through them recklessly.

  He considered a few different ways the other boy would react but this wasn’t one of them. If only Akane could see this. She better be flattered…

  “She didn’t exactly leave but she opened her door at least. She looked a bit of a state, I don’t think she’s eaten since waking up.” 

  Her skeletal form haunts his mind. Bones practically jutting out of her skin. How much longer could a body like that hold up. A day? A week? Akane might be a survivor but there’s only so far even she can push it. 

  “God dammit. She needs to eat!” Kazuichi growls, “Maybe we do need to drag her out and pin her down.”

  Normally he’d immediately stamp out the idea - you can’t force someone to look after themselves when they aren’t willing to themselves - but at this point who knows. If she can be helped its certainly not from in there…

  “Maybe…” He hums quietly, “Not right now though. You should probably talk to Sonia before you do anything.” If anyone would be up for force feeding Akane it would be her. 

  “Sonia? She hasn’t come out in days.” For just a moment his eyes drift off to something just behind Izuru. Fixated blankly as if there is anything of note at all. And then, just as quickly, he zones back in. His face softer than before as his breath stills in his throat.

  “She’s been out and around the place. She was in the other room yesterday.” Izuru nods back towards the corridor, towards the roo. where the others are still laying. 

  For a moment he considers mentioning Gundham and the days before… He considers telling Kazuichi about the bright look in her eye as she recounted the stories of their youth, if nothing else then just to let him know she wasn’t like Akane - at least not yet. But instead he holds his tongue. He knows that it's illogical since Kazuichi undoubtedly already knows - Izuru was the only one who wasn’t a part of this group before - but repeating what she had told him in that dimly lit room still feels wrong. And maybe, just for a little while, he wants that moment to stay just between the two of them.

  “I see…”

  Izuru's hand instinctively moves to adjust his sleeve before he remembers his suits are long gone. All he’s left with is empty space as his hand fumbles. Reaching for something that is always just out of reach. 

  “Well if you come up with a plan then let me know.” He clears his throat softly and heads over towards the kitchen to grab any food that doesn’t need to be cooked. While he might be able to cook perfectly fine, he can't be bothered to go through all that hassle right now.

  “Uh, sure. Where are you going?” 

  “I just need to stretch my legs. I might stick around in the library for a while too. There are a few things I wanted to check out.” 

  Unless he can convince Kirigiri to set him free again, walking these halls are probably the closest he’s going to get to ‘fresh air’. At least its something different after the monotony of their rooms.

  “Okay…you should stick around for dinner tonight.” Kazuichis voice rings out softly as he bites down on his lip once again, “No offence to Miss Sonia but your cooking is so much better than hers.”

  Cooking…he stiffens instantly but forces himself to nod. It’s not like cooking is actually a big deal, in fact he almost enjoyed it when he last did it with Kazuichi. One bad experience can’t make him stop forever. It probably would be nicer to eat somewhat decent food than whatever Sonia makes…if she comes out to make anything at all. 

  “I'll be back for dinner.” 

  And with that promise they part ways.

~~~

02/05 - 18:24

  Izuru’s eyes burn in the dim lightning. Just like before the library is practically pitch black with the exception of a single lamp that sits on the desk at the very front of the room. In this level of darkness, even he has to stand here straining his eyes to catch a single word on the page. He doesn’t need to have medical talents to know this isn’t good for his body but that doesn’t stop him.

  How long has he even been here? Without clocks or natural light to use as a reference its hard to make heads or tails of what’s going on anymore. All he has to rely on is his own internal clock but given the state of things at the moment he’s not sure he can trust that at all.

  Nevertheless he keeps turning the pages, drinking in more and more information. Book by book he’s slowly moving around the room, pulling out ever file he comes across. He doesn’t even bother walking back to the desk before he cracks open the book, instead he just reads them standing up beside the bookcase. 

  While he can pretend he’s standing here instead of sitting at the desk by the light because it saves him a few precious seconds, the truth is that he can’t stand the prying eyes and scoffing of a certain someone. Even from over here he can see the sleek blonde hair of Togami as he pours over a book. Izuru has never caught him looking up from whatever he is reading but every time he looks down to focus he can feel the sharp eyes following him. 

  He's far from good company but he’s not attempted to say anything to Izuru yet so he'll consider that a win. As long as he can pretend the blonde isn’t here then it’s okay. He’s beginning to think if he wants to be in this room he’s going to have to take the boy with it. They never did find rooms for the Future Foundation members when they were exploring. Most likely they’re all a floor or two down - probably so Kazuichi can’t stab them with his scalpel in the middle of the night - but he likes to imagine them sleeping in these rooms that they never seem to leave.

  Turning his back on Togami and the rest of the library, he begins leafing through the next file. So far there’s not been anything you could consider useful information but he files all the information away anyway. 

  Almost every file is covering old Hopes Peak students. The distant and cold files cataloging every ultimate that was ever dragged through the school. There’s something surreal about reading each one and hearing the stories behind the abilities stuffed into his body. The ultimate actress who developed her skills conning people on the streets for money to keep herself going. The ultimate footballer who trained every day for his entire life just to be good at a single sport. The ultimate gambler who built a life of lies to hide from the empty truth of her existence. Skills built up over years - lifetimes even - distilled into a single file. 

  It’s funny, he has all this talent and yet he can’t even comprehend spending years honing one single talent on its own. What would even be the purpose? An entire human life being dedicated to just one pursuit - or maybe that was just how Hopes Peak saw and recorded these people’s lives. 

  Nevertheless he files each one away in his brain. Their faces and stories seared into his memory for all time. Or at least until his brain gets messed with again, his mind adds unhelpfully.

  But while most files are looking at ultimates, there are other ones scattered around amongst them all. As he flicks through he can read reports on projects going on at Hopes Peak or discussing future plans for the school. All of the collusion going on with the school, governments, and businesses are probably reported here in some file or another. It makes him wonder if his own project file is stored away here. Then again, if it was he would think Togami and the others would have found it before he revealed himself. No, the future foundation probably has that secret buried six foot underground. 

  Between all the student files and reports there are some files he skips over all together. They’re few and far between but he doesn’t dare touch a single one of them - no matter how curious he may be. The files for the rest of the despairs. Each one is neatly tucked away as if it had never been touched at all. Naegi is meticulous if nothing else. 

  While he doubts Naegi or the others would have an issue with him reading them since they haven’t been hidden away, he still doesn’t even think about looking at them. Even listening to the stories Sonia happily told him felt like an invasion. He can’t even imagine seeking out and dredging up those past files…

  The only file that keeps singing to him from across the library is the glossy file of one Chiaki Nanami. Even though there is still only one lamp, the file is still somehow illuminated no matter how far away he moves through the room. Every word shimmering temptingly. 

  “Shouldn’t you be leaving Kamukura?” The cold voice of Togami vibrates through the room. 

  “Leaving.” His grip tightens around the folder of Miaya Gekkogahara. 

  “Yes. You're supposed to be eating with your friends tonight.” Togami sighs like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

  It’s not like he doubted it before but at least now its confirmed they’re being monitored at all times. He would have thought that Togami would have better things to do with his time but apparently not.

  “I’m glad to know my social life is of value to you Togami.” He slams the file closed and gently pushes it back into its designated spot on the shelf. 

  As he turns to head over to the entrance the lanky silhouette of Togami slides into the darkness, “Look, Makoto just messaged me that your friends are looking for you. Believe it or not but I’m not actually trying to kick you out.” 

  He considers rolling his eyes but instead he just gives other boy a stern nod. Civility will probably go further than provocation at this point.

  Of course Kazuichi couldn’t just come over here to get him. He has no idea if they actually went to Naegi to ask for help or if he just saw them running about mindlessly and decided to step in. Either way, he told Kazuichi where he would be so there is no excuse.

  But before he slips out of the room and heads back, he passes by the bookcase, pulling free his prize. Not even giving Togami a second look he strides from the room, the file tucked neatly under his arm. Protected and safe. He takes the lack of resistance from Togami as the boys blessing - it’s probably as close as he’s ever going to get - and makes his way back to his friends.

~~~

  “Ah, Izuru! You’re here finally.” Kazuichi throws his hands up dramatically as Izuru steps in to join him and Sonia. 

  There is still no Akane or Fuyuhiko anywhere to be seen. He isn’t exactly shocked but after last night he thought it might not have been farfetched for Fuyuhiko at least to come creeping out. But no, it’s just him, Sonia and Kazuichi together forever apparently.

  “I told you I would be in the library.” He gently lays the folder down on one of the counter tops and rests his arm on either side of his hips. 

  “But you were taking ages! We thought maybe Togami had gotten sick of you.” Sonia bites her nails, looking over to Kazuichi of all people for support.

  To think they have such faith in him. After everything they think the ‘ultimate affluent progeny’ is going to be the one getting rid of him. Wonderful. 

  “Yeah, it’s been hours and hours. What were you even doing there.” Kazuichi scowls, folding his arms like a disappointed parent. At his side Sonia just nods ferociously, hanging off his every word. 

  He’s not sure what they want him to say. They might not always be the smartest but he thought even they would understand what he was doing if nothing else, “I was reading. There are lots of files so I just lost track of the time. You could have come and checked on me if you were really so worried.” 

  He narrows his eyes as the two of them share a quiet look, “Sonia was going to, but right when we were discussing it Naegi showed up to drop off some more food and he said he’d fetch you for us.”

  Every sense in his body is scream that they’re both hiding something from him. While they don’t seem to be outright lying there is definitely something. By now he would have thought they would have learnt there is no point keeping secrets but apparently not. He knows all the dark and terrible things they have done so what would they need to hide from him? 

  As he glares at Kazuichi, Sonia takes advantage of the moment to slowly shuffle closer and closer. Drawing near to the counter so she can bend down low, tilting her head to try and get a better look at the folder that is still resting on the counter, “Who’s file did you get there?”

  Without taking a moment to think he reaches forward and grabs a small tea towel that's resting on the counter near him. Before Sonia can get any closer he tosses it over the file with a casual flick. Hiding the writing away from her prying eyes. 

  Maybe it was the frustration acting out, or maybe he truly has succumbed to being completely illogical, either way he wants to keep it to himself for a little longer. If they’re allowed to hide things from him then he’s entitled to the same. Besides, knowing how Sonia is at the moment she would want to read it right now with both her and Kazuichi here. Maybe it’s selfish of him but he wants to read this on his own - at the least the first time - so he can have his own thoughts without having to hear Kazuichi and Sonia gushing about all their memories once more.

  “No ones.” The words roll off his tongue casually, a stark constrast to his desperate motions, “Come on then, are we cooking food?” He glides around the room, gently tugging on Sonia and Kazuichi as he goes, sweeping them up towards the main kitchen area. 

  “We?” Kazuichi pulls himself free and looks uncertainly between Izuru and the kitchen counter. It's hard to tell in the lighting of this room but he could swear that Kazuichi turns ten shades paler.

  “I'm not your personal chef. If I’m cooking then you’re cooking too.”

  He rustles around in the draw until he finds the small stack of aprons he had spotted the first time they were cooking here. Without asking permission or waiting, he grabs three and throws one over Sonia and one over Kazuichi. 

  Sonia instantly begins glowing, her cheeks flushing as she breaks into a grin. Teeth sparkling as she bounces on the spot. By the time he’s wrangled the string over Kazuichi’s head she’s already tying it up and brushing down any creases. Unfortunately Kazuichi isn’t quite so cooperative. 

  “Get this off of me.” He fights hopelessly against Izuru’s grip on the fabric. 

  “If you want decent food then this is the price. I’m not just going to be a slave for you." He holds his head up high. It’s a reasonable price if you ask him. Kazuichi made it clear how much value there is in Izuru’s cooking so there’s no one to blame but him.

  Taking control he yanks the apron out of Kazuichi’s hands and ties it neatly behind him. Only then does he bother putting on his own apron. Much like the rest of this place the aprons aren’t exactly interesting, plain white seems to be their running theme, but it doesn’t need to be interesting to be functional. 

  “I am excited to learn the art of cooking from a true expert! What will we be making?! Souffle? Macarons?” Sonai claps enthusastically. 

  Izuru quickly assess his two sous chefs for the evening. Kazuichi and Sonia. He’s seen Kazuichi working and it’s not like Sonia has a gift for the culinary arts…Perhaps she’s aiming her sights a little too high with those baking requests. 

  They sort through the ingredients Naegi dropped off and end up deciding on a more basic pasta dish. Perhaps a bit more of a settle than Sonia was hoping but the smartest people always know where to set their goal posts. Besides, he is pretty certain macarons and souffle don’t make for balanced meals. 

  It takes far longer than he could have imagined to piece together pasta and some sauce but Sonia and Kazuichi are smiling throughout so he assumes that’s a good sign if nothing else. When it comes time for them to sit down and eat they end up slumped in their chairs as Kazuichi’s stomach chatters to no end. Not a single one of them bothers even attempting to squeeze out a word as they shovel food into their mouths.

  He'd expected both Kazuichi and Sonia to use this chance to chatter incessantly but that is barely even an after thought. By the time their plates are polished off and washed up, their eyes are all beginning to droop. Not one of them can hold back their yawns anymore. 

  He watches them both lazily rub their eyes as they stumble back to their rooms. But before leaving he scrapes out all the excess food onto two plates and sets each one in front of the doors of Fuyuhiko and Akane. Fingers crossed neither of them decide to step out without looking down… 

  Just before he leaves he pauses in front of Akane’s room, his mouth moving before his mind does, “Look, I’m pretty certain you’re listening to everything we’re saying from inside that room.” He clears his throat, trying to piece together words before they come spilling straight out of his mouth, “I know we never really knew each other. Outside our affliations with other people - and whatever happened in the Neoworld program - we are just strangers, but the others seem to actually care about you. We’ve all done equally bad things, if not worse, so nothing you did is unforgivable. If you don’t want to look after your body for yourself then maybe do it for them because I don’t know if they could handle you being gone too. They’re already on the edge.”

  He clears his throat softly and shuffles away from the door. God he hopes no one else but Akane could hear that… 

  “That’s all I wanted to say.” He shifts about awakwardly, unsure if he should leave or not, “There’s food outside your door. We cooked it together so you should really try it and not let it go to waste. Have a good night.”

  He could swear he hears slight movement behind the door but he doesn’t stay long enough to find out. He slips into his own room and leaves Akane to her own battle. He’s done enough for tonight. 

Chapter Text

03/05 - 06:01

  He's still shaking as he walks but he doesn't bother slowing down. Instead he speeds up. Gritting his teeth to keep them from chattering as he puts all his focus onto moving instead of thinking about the nightmare he just woke up from... If he can just move fast enough... 

  “Ah, Kamukura.” Kirigiri greets him without even needing to look up, “I was beginning to think I wasn’t going to see you here again.” She slowly closes her book and rocks back in her chair to regard him. Her eyes drink in ever aspect of his being as if it has been years and not days since she last saw him. 

  Of course she's here this time...

  “If I had known you were missing me I would have come by much sooner.” He grumbles sarcastically but he doesnt let that slow him down.

  Right now he doesn't have the time to waste with small talk as he beelines straight over to his pod. Legs twitching unstably as if he's going to fall at any moment, he's just moving too fast to let gravity take over. Not even waiting long enough for Kirigiri to get set up before he has grabbed onto the edge of the pod. Arms fumbling as he awkwarely hoists himself in, immersing himself once more in the bright green glow.

  “Come on, lets get on with it.”

  But instead of jumping into motion, Kirigiri remains there. Frozen by the computer as her eyes narrow. Eyes icicles that are directed straight at him, “Are you okay?”

  If he hadn’t met Kirigiri before he might be tempted to think that was…concern…rippling off of her. How ironic. After the everything, the future foundations members are still sat here feeling concern for someone like him.

  He can hear her approaching the pod cautiously, but he purposefully twists his face away from her. Staring determinedly at the the inside of the pod. It can’t fully hide his face but it’s the best he can manage given the situation. 

  “I’m fine. I’m just in a rush today.” He screws his eyes closed and presses his head even deeper down.

  “Kamukura…”

  Finally the last strand snaps. With a growl at the back if his throat, he gives in. Letting his eyes snap open right as he twists his face towards her dramatically. Nothing can ever just be simple can it?! Why can’t they just accept things and do what he says for once?!

  Not caring what Kirigiri thinks, he sits bolt upright. Almost headbutting her as launches himself up, “I said to upload me. Neither of us are here to have a heartfelt chat. We’re both just here to experiment and see if this batshit insane plan of Naegi’s is going to work so why don’t you just get on with it.”

  He can only imagine how his eyes must look right now. Bloodshot and surrounded by dark bags no doubt. But right now he couldn’t give less of a shit. Whatever makes her get on with the damn job will work. 

  For the first time, Kirigiri’s mask shatters. Pupils dilating as she leans ever so slightly backwards. It’s barely even a flinch but she can’t hide it from him. It only stands out more compared to her usual calm and cool demeanour. Although within a second she shrugs it off, sucking in a heavy breath, that isn't enough to make him forget. 

  “I don’t know what has gotten into you but remember I will pull you out the second I see you doing anything out of line. Keep whatever it is going on with you to yourself. Alter Ego doesn’t need to deal with this.”

  He doesn’t need to say anything else to push her towards the console. As he lays back down in the pod he only just about see the top of her head as she leans over the console, her entire weight resting on her arms. which are either side of the console. Hiding her face as she begins working on the keyboard to send him back under.

  “I hope you know what you’re doing Kamukura.” Those are the last words he hears before he succumbs to the darkness. 

  He always knows what he’s doing. 

  Although they did nothing different, even before his eyes are open he can tell that things are somehow different. It's not just the tickle against his body but the scent of fresh grass in the air.

  Swelling around him.

  Drowning everything else out. 

  Sure enough, as he opens his eyes it's not the usual beach that lays before him. No instead he’s been dropped off right on the middle island, surrounded by the grass and laying in the cold shade of the statue. A breeze sweeping over him as he lets out what feels like his first true breath. 

  After having actually been out in the real breeze again for the first time in weeks, he thought he would find this breeze more unrealistic. But, much to his surprise, it still feels as real as ever. Whenever he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath of the distant salt air he could pretend he was back in the real world. The longer he spends here, the harder it is to convince himself that this place isn't the real deal. Everything from the way from the blades of grass tickle his palms, to the cool ocean scent still lingering in the air even all the way over here. 

  “Kamukura…?” That soft timid voice he has become all too familiar with calls out to him tentatively, “Are you okay? What’s happened?” 

  Looking at him now its hard not to see its creator in every line of coding. Of course its not like he was ever under any delusions about who alter ego took its appearance from but somehow after reading the file for the real Fujisaki, he can see the boy in every breath and every motion. 

  “Nothing happened.” He rubs his eyes frantically and sits up, resting his head on his knees as he stabilises himself. 

  “Kamukura… I… I just…It’s….” Alter Ego stammers a few times before giving up completely.

  And yet, even then, he remains perfectly silent. Staying right where he is while the AI takes a seat at Izuru’s side. Settling itself directly within Izuru’s personal space, only just leaving enough space between them so they aren’t physically touching. 

  There’s nothing but the distant sound of waves between them now. For just a few moments he can try to pretend he’s up on that rooftop again. If he closes his eyes he can imagine the red skies stretching out as far as the eye can see and the distant sight of the islands being swallowed up by the vastness of the oceans beyond. 

  “I know that given everything that has happened it doesn’t always feel that way, but I was built to be a program for helping with psychological needs. If there’s something you need to say then there’s no one better to come to right now.”

  For a moment Alter Ego’s hand hovers over his elbow but it clearly thinks better of the action within a split second. Retracting it within the blink of an eye until the arm is wrapped tightly around its knees instead. Pulling itself close as if trying to make it even smaller than it already is. 

  “I didn’t come here to have a therapist.” He completely buries his face in his knees this time.

  While he most certainly didn’t come here for that, he is still all too aware that is probably what he needs. It would be stupid to deny it given how he ended up here today. It's not even just him. All of them do, and that includes Togami, Kirigiri and Naegi. Hell, he challenges anyone to find a single person in the world right now for whom that isn’t true. 

  No, his plans for today are much more important than having someone to vent to. 

  “What did you come here for then?” Alter Ego asks softly, voice like that of a wounded deer. Thankfully it doesn't start crying at least.

  “You mentioned before that Chiaki was here…right.” He raises his head ever so slightly. Just enough to monitor how Alter Ego reacts.

  At once it frowns, eyebrows knitting together - its not a look that suits it's face honestly, “Yes, Chiaki was one of the observers.” As if mimicking Izuru, Alter Ego lays its head on its knees, eyes meeting Izuru’s. 

  He takes in a deep shuddering breath. This is stupid. It’s just Alter Ego, its trapped in here so it doesn’t matter what he says and asks in this place. It’s not like Sonia and Kazuichi will ever know…

  But Kirigiri is undoubtedly listening in, his mind supplies unhelpfully. Kirigiri will keep her mouth shut…he hopes. When even he doesn’t really understand why he’s here, he doesn’t want other people jumping to conclusions. Is that too much to ask for? 

  “Is she still here? Could you rebuild her from the code?” He keeps his voice still and casual as he squeezes out the words. Not letting anything slip through the cracks. 

  He knows it a long shot - better than anyone else in this place he understands the coding for this place - but if he didn’t ask then he’s not sure he could ever put it out of his mind. Before coming here for the first time he’d assumed all of their data had been lost but it turns out it had been saved. As such is it really so out there that the AI’s code could still be tucked away somewhere. 

  “I…” 

  This time Alter Ego doesn’t pull back it's arm and Izuru doesn't do anything to stop it. He just sits there completely frozen, allowing its hand to splay across his arm. In spite of them being in the virtual world he can still feel the soft weight pressing against his skin. He had half been expecting Alter Ego to glitch straight through him but instead he feels the genetle warmth of skin holding onto him. 

  “I can’t bring back Chiaki or Usami, sorry. The only reason the rest of the students codes were saved was because Usami was protecting and sealing away the code right after they died. Chiaki died after Usami was destroyed so her code wasn't able to be fully purged by the system.” Alter Ego offers a smile but it’s utterly useless.

  “But she was there, wasn’t she. At the end.” He bolts upright, pulling his arm free from Alter Ego’s reach finally as if he is finally snapping awake. 

  “Well - wait you - ?” Alter Ego flinches back, it's eyes blowing wide as cogs once more start to turn.

  “Whatever. Forget I even asked.”

  Heart still smashing against his ribs, he pushes himself upright. Carefully brushing down his clothes but this time there is no sand tumbling off. All he is left with is the tingling shake of his own hands. Pins and needles pinching the skin just beneath the surface.

  He knew keeping any hope was pointless but the words still have the power to make his heart drop uncomfortably. Logic completely leaving him. All these questions bounce around in his mind, taunting him with the truth that will never get those answers. It is just a fact he’s going to have to accept. 

  Shaking his head he turns on his heel and begins walking towards the beach. Both hands are shoved deep in his pockets where Alter Ego can’t see them shake traitorously. 

  “Wait! Kamukura, you remember that?!” He can hear Alter Ego’s desperate footsteps as it tries to chase him down. 

  Yes he remembers, or at least he thinks he does.

  That damned file must be that cause of all this.  The source of his nightmare tonight at least. Even now as he stands here the images won’t stop spinning from before his eyes. A jumble of scenes threatening to burst against the inside of his skull. Trying to untangle them and parse out what is happening is a lost cause.

  Chiaki hovering before him in the darkness, calling out those same words he’s heard echoing through his dreams. Its not just her surrounded by darkness though. He also sees her bathed in the sparkling light of the ocean. Her eyes match the waves perfectly. While he mouth is moving, he can never quite hear what she says. And other times he sees her grinning on a stage or bent over an arcade machine. And then there are the less pleasant ones. The images he remembers of her soaked through with her own blood. A panicked look of desperation as she runs down an unfamiliar hallway with a pink and white rabbit. 

  It's never more than flashes - still images of moments - but they send a shiver down his spine every time. Everytime he thinks they've faded another one crashes against his mind. 

  They could easily just be manufactured memories his brain has pieced together from all the dreams, stories, and information in the file. Nothing at all can back them up and yet every fibre of his being insists they are true. No matter how much he tells himself its his mind playing tricks on him, he can’t crush those thoughts.

  “I don't know what I remember.” He answers honestly, folding his arms tightly around his chest to form a firm cage. 

  “Why don’t you tell me about what you remember? Maybe I can help you place the memories.”

  “No.” He spits out the word a little too fast.

  This doesn’t change anything. Whatever is going on in his head has to be sorted out on its own. He’s not relying on Sonia's stories, Naegi's video, or Alter Ego's explanations. If he’s ever going to sort the truth from the fiction then he needs to handle this himself. 

  “I just need some time to sort my head out. Don’t follow me.” He shakes his head and continues on his war path.

  This time Alter Ego's footsteps are nowhere to be found. He is well and truly alone…By the time he finally decides to turn around, the AI is already long gone. 

  Unsure if where to begihimself finds himself wandering over towards the hotel where Chiaki's room was tucked away. So far it's the only thing in this damn place to really click so there has to be something there, right? He keeps his head down the entire way, not daring to look at this familiar and yet unfamiliar world. Not yet anyway.

  When finally makes his way back to the first island and the beach side resort, he stares out at the long line of empty huts. He’s fully aware of what he came here for, but he can’t bring himself to move his feet. Not now he's standing here, staring the rooms down one by one.

  These rooms…he remembers these rooms - and not just from the last time he was here. He could swear he remembers people being here. Their laughs still haunt the air around him. It’s like the puzzle pieces are just hanging right in front of him. The pieces desperately longing to be brought back together. To complete the picture finally. 

  Letting the feeling overtake him, he places a hand against the wall of the nearest hut and closes his eyes. As if running on pure instinct, his lungs heave and he feels the air ripple through his lungs. For the first time since he’s woken up, he turns off his mind. Instead of reaching forward towards the sounds and thoughts crashing through his mind he slides down until he’s sat on the edge of the pathway. Even though his shoes are still firmly laced on he lets them slide into the warm water below. 

  He’s not sure how long he sits there just breathing in the world around him. When he’s not thinking it’s like the entire world stops completely. It could have been minutes, it could have been hours, but all at once the flood gates have lifted and the mountain of water waiting behind comes crashing forwards. 

  “Hajimeeeee!” 

  “I already promised that I would not allow even one person to become a victim !” 

  “Hajime...you fiend...You are rather nice.”

  “I...I want to go home! Right now!”

  “If I’m alive I can still fight!”

  An endless barrage crashes into him. Images - no memories - of countless scenes all hit him at once. 

  Akane and Nekomaru fighting beside the pool, their eletrifying smiles impossible to ignore despite the despair of the world around them. Hiyoko clinging desperately to Mahiru’s arm as the pair wandered around the pool side. Peko silently staring up at the night sky from the edge of the pathway. Her silver hair always did have a magical way of capturing the moonlights perfect glow. Nagito and Teruteru ferrying boxes of supplies to and from the old building tucked away beside the hotel. 

  With every ounce of his will he tried to pry his eyes open but, even as they snap open and the ‘real world’ filters in, the images remain. He can still see Ibuki running out of the hotel, her hair whipping around her with every step. He can musty old book smell of the Byakuya's room when he and Nagito had first stepped foot inside. The distinct sound of Jum-P chattering is impossible to chase away from his mind. 

  Clutching his head he reaches for the door to the hut and examines the room. He's not sure when he started standing the world sways before him once again. It feels like someone has taken an axe to the side of his head but he needs to see this. This was the entire damn point of his trip here. If he’s going to do the job then he’s going to do it right. 

  Sure enough, just like the last time he stepped into this room, he can see the tall arcade machine tucked into the corner. Wrappers are scattered all over the floor, dotted between a variety of different consoles that are all plugged into a single TV. The entire room reeks of Chiaki. Her memory imprinted on every possible surface.

  He doesn’t even bother closing the door before storming over to the next room and yanking that door open too. Inside the blank camvas has been painted over with traditional japanese furniture. A single hotpot placed right in the middle. In the next samurai armour and swords. Then a bunch of guitars and sound amp littering every possible surface. Pictures lovingly pinned up on a corkboard. 

  Each room tells an entire story. Lives summarised in a single moment. He can hear each and every one of their voices calling out to him. 

  “Hajime!”

  “Hajime!”

  “Hajime!”

  Is it just him or is the world starting to go dark? He tries to tilt his head up to examine the sky but he the higher he tilts his head the darker the world around him grows. 

  Stumbling through the darkness and still gripping onto his head, he follows his feet. Instincts fully overtake him as he finds himself navigating straight to a strange unfamiliar bed, throwing himself ontop of it. In his strange state it's all be can do bury his face into the covers, trying to smother out all the noises of people calling out for him. 

  As he lays there he’s enveloped by an oddly familiar smell. The gentle comforting scent of vanilla and cinnamon drapes over him, sealing away the rest of the world. Slowly he begins feeling everything else drift away but he just keeps breathing heavily into the covers. Drowning himself in the scent. The noises don’t get any quieter - he can still feel them pressing in on him from every side - but it’s like a blanket has been thrown over him. 

  Somewhere in the distance he can feel a hand pressing against his back but he simply scrunches his eyes closed and curls in on himself. He wants to turn back and yell at Ibuki, or Mikan, or whoever it is to leave him alone but his body doesn’t respond. He just lays there, head buried deep in the covers. If he lays here long enough then maybe they’ll go away. 

  “-Kamukura?!” 

  Wait. Kamukura? His eyes snap open as he jolts upright. 

  The entire world has melted away into green. Long lavender hair is draped in front of him, filling his vision. A small neat braid runs through it, swallowed up by the rest of the hair - consuming it whole. He’d never noticed that before…

  For a split second everything is…quiet. The world has fallen away and only him and Kirigiri are left. All the voice and images have vanished. He could almost trick himself into believing that the everything was confined to that fake world.

  Almost.

  And then the voices begin again. 

  “I...want to believe in you.” 

  “Then...I'll make sure to specifically invite you the next time I perform.”

  “This is a promise to return alive...together.”

  “It's quite lonely to die alone...”

  Each voice is accompanied by images of his friends faces. All of their hopes that they placed on him. Faces twisted in despair, not the kind of despair Junko put on them but a more visceral despair. But it’s not just despair, he can remember them all smiling. The sound of laughs flowing even in a sitaution like that. If he strained his ears he could hear the machines that are working at keeping each one of them alive churning away in the background. The last dregs of them still remaining. 

  “Kamukura, are you okay?” Kirigiri is watching him wide eyed. Her gloved hand is resting on his shoulder. He says resting but perhaps gripping would be a more accurate description. 

  He does his best to tune out the sounds of the memories burying him as he answers, “Why wouldn’t I be?” He maintains his usual cool crisp tone but they both know better than that. 

  “Because you curled up and stopped responding to any sounds or movements. Not to mention you’re bleeding.” 

  Her hand deftly moves towards the side of his head and swipes before he can react. And yet, he's embarrassed to admit, he doesn't even try to stop her. Not when his entire body is frozen to the spot. Bright neon pink glitters against the dull black of her leather glove. It’s not even just a smear; a thick layer has pooled on the material. Small droplets roll off the edge and dribble down into the pod.

  It takes everything he has to keep his mind from spiralling at the mere sight. He crushes down each memory of his friends broken and shattered bodies with every ounce of his will. It’s like playing whack-a-mole. Every turn is lined with a thick coating of blood. Hiyoko dripping with blood, her skin pale and taut. Gundham pressed into the dirt, pink mixing slowly with the mud and his limbs each bent at awkward angles. Byakuya's blood soaking out onto the creaking wooden planks. Nagito painted in gore and horror. Chiaki - 

  “What does this mean Kamukura?” She stubbornly refuses to take her hand away. In fact she brings it even closer as if she’s going to wipe it back on his face at any second. 

  What does it mean? Nothing good...

  He holds back his grimace though and bats her hand away so he can pull himself out of the pod, “It doesn’t mean anything. I just need to wash myself off.” 

  His legs swing over the edge but before they can make contact with the ground Kirigiri is right there again. Sharp nails dig into his shoulder as she pulls him back from the edge with all her strength. 

  “Don’t bother lying to me. We both know you aren’t the only one with a talent for reading people.” She scowls, tightening her grip further still, “Tell me, is this because you have gone in too many times or is it something else?” Despite her viscious grip, her voice is as steady and calm as ever. 

  “It’s…” He pauses for a moment before he is able to continue on, “It’s something else. I just need to sleep it off. I’m not in the habit of being suicidal so you don’t need to worry about my safety. If it was going to kill me then I wouldn’t be nearly as non-chalant about the whole situation.” 

  Its not much of a comfort but it’s the closest thing he can offer right now. Realistically there isn’t a thing he could say to ease her feelings so why even try? It’s not like he doesn’t know how bad this looks. 

  “That doesn’t make me feel any better Kamukura.” 

  “It wasn’t meant to.” He shoves past her, pulling himself out of the pod without a care in the world about whatever Kirigiri is doing. At this point what is she going to do to stop him? Even when he’s injured she is no match for him. Not really. If he wants to leave this room or even this building then he’s going to leave. It’s a matter of when, not if. 

  Still there is no covering up the fact that as soon as his legs hit the ground they shake pathetically. It takes him gripping onto the pod until his knuckles turn stark white to keep himself standing. But still he refuses to let himself collapse. He’s shown enough weakness for one day, after everything he deserves this one lucky break. 

  The vibrations travel all the way up his body from his legs, beating his brain around inside his skull. Each vibration frees more memories from their shackles. They bounce around inside his head, casting odd sihouttes into the world around him. It’s like the specters from the Neo World Program have been dragged through into reality with him. Each of their shadows are imprinted on the walls and they all call out the same name.

  “Hajime!” 

  “Hajime?”

  “Hajimeeeeee!”

  Maybe he truly has lost his mind but he refuses to let a single fragment of that fear project onto his face. Instead he tightens his hold on the mask and wraps it tighter around himself. Unfortuantely, the calm facade isn’t exactly helped by the warm sticky blood he can feel trickling further and further down his face. 

  “Just because you’re not going to die that doesn’t mean you’re okay.” Kirigiri’s words echo around the room but she doesn’t make another move towards him inspite of how terrible he must look right now. Does she know how tangible her discomfort it right now? He can feel it radiating off of her in waves. 

  “You think I don’t know that?”

  “I’m sure you do. I just hope it actually means something to you.” 

  Of all the people he was expecting to put up resistance to his attempt he wasn’t betting on it being her. Naegi maybe - he isn’t known to be the most logically functioning person - but not Kirigiri. Junko messed with her memories just like Neo World Program messed with theirs, if anyone in this world would understand this process it would be her and the others. And yet he’s never felt more of a rift between them which is certainly saying something given everything. 

  “This is something I have to go through. No medicine is going to fix this. I would have thought you of all people would be able to understand why. Don’t you remember what it was like when you were getting your memories back? My mind just needs to…” He stares at the snapshot of shadowy memories still prancing around within the darkened shadows, “…sort itself out.” 

  “It wasn’t like this for us.”

  “Of course it wasn’t.” Nothing in the world ever is...

  The walk between this room and his own bedroom can’t be more than 100 steps and yet it has somehow been dragged out into a full marathon. One foot in front of the other in front of the other in front of the other. Over and over and over.

  The side of his head only gets warmer and warmer but he does his best to ignore the sensation. Shoving it down as deep as he can. For the first few times he did try to rub the side of his head clean but it doesn't take long for him to give up. The second it has been wiped away more rushes down to take its place. No amount of scrubbing is going to be enough so why even bother?

  Instead of hearing the thump of his shoes on the carpet underfoot, every step is accompanied by the sounds of voices chattering in his mind. At this point he can’t even pick up words. Noise and feeling are the only things left. His heart flutters between warmth, horror, despair, joy and panic with every single beat. 

  He’s starting to wonder why he ever wanted these damn memories back in the first place. He was perfectly content and capable before this, and now he can barely even walk from one room to another. 

  Pressing one hand tightly against the side of his head he pushes through into his own room. In the back of his mind he is aware of the trail of pink he must be leaving across the communal room but he’s too far gone to care at this moment. Even in this state he can imagine the scare it will give Kazuichi or Sonia but that sounds more like their issue than his own. 

  As soon as he’s through the doorway he leans his entire weight against the door. Pushing it closed as he slides down, digging his back into the firm surface. He doesn’t even bother turning on the light before his head rocks back to smack against the hard wood of the door. At least the searing pain is enough to cut through the noise for a single second - at this point he will take any relief from the barrage that he can find. 

  Minutes, maybe even hours, pass as he stares up at the ceiling. With every breath he rattles against the door. Somewhere in the distance he could swear he hears people moving about and chatting but the sound of them blends into nothing. All sounds are firmly locked away on the other side of the door where they can’t touch him. The chasm between him and the sounds rapidly growing with every passing second. 

  Instead his mind keeps replaying the memories, reliving each one over and over and over. Every death is freshly haunting his mind, their screams and cries clawing at him. While he had practically seen the ‘game’ play out for Naegi and the others first hand, he had never understood how they felt. Do they feel this gnawing pit in their stomachs or is this another thing that has been caused by the Neo World Program? 

  He sits there stewing in his memories until his stomach begins grumbling. He’s not sure he wants to know how long it has been since he last ate. Logically that should be a sign to go and grab something but there’s no way he’s leaving this room. Sonia will kill him but that’s a problem for another day. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s gone without food for a few days.

  Nevertheless, even if he doesn't want to leave the dark safety of the room, he still probably shouldn’t keep sitting here. The hard floor isn’t exactly helping the state of his body as every inch of him aches and throbs. He has to hold onto the wall as he drags himself up, leaning all his weight against it to try and stabilise himself. Every slight motion makes his head spin - it's certainly not helped by his legs which are trembling even now. As a result it takes much longer to cross the room to the bathroom than it normally would. 

  Sighing deep in his soul, he grips onto the edge of the sink and looks up into the mirror above once again. The person that looks back at him looks wholly unfamiliar. Even though he has seen himself multiple times, he’s still taken aback by the sight of long black hair wrapping around him, draping long past his waist. Perhaps he’s been spending too long in those damn memories. It’s not just his hair though, the pale hue of his skin juxtaposed by the dull red of dried blood still coating makes him look entirely alien. He almost expects to see sharp fangs in the place of his canines when he opens his mouth but of course there’s nothing but normal teeth. 

  But the most shocking thing is his eyes. While the bright red colour is still staring back at him, even now, it feels…wrong. As if the world is hanging upside down. Twisting around until he feel like emptying his guts. In spite of everything, it still feel like someone elae is staring back at him. He can’t put his finger on what it is exactly but something behind the eyes looks entirely foreign. 

  Before he realises it a web of cracks broken out across the surface. Pink blood seeping into all the cracks as the light shimmers elegantly across the surface. Warmth burns through his fist, pink blooming over his knuckles. Staining them against the darkness.

  Now the face staring back at him is fragmented. Jigsaw pieces all skewed out of alignment. A million eyes gleam in every direction, refusing to give him any peace and quiet.

  Trying to avoid their glare he ducks away from the mirror, grabbing some toilet paper and wetting it under the sink. Without looking in the now shattered mirror he carefully wipes away all the crusted blood from his face. While he can’t check how well it has cleaned off, he just keeps scrubbing. Scrubbing and scrubbing and scrubbing until the skin burns. Until there is no way a single trace can remain. 

  Only once he is certain he must be clean does he let his hand shift. Dropping the scraps of bloodied toilet paper into the sink. Minuscule pieces shredded to cover every surface. As if moving on it’s own his hand scrapes against the skin of his wrist. Nails scratching. Dragging. Pink droplets mixing with the glass as it drops into the sink - splattering softly against the ceramic surface. Even now he can still feel tiny pieces of the paper pressed against his skin, not fully brushed

  Screwing his eyes closed he gently twists the tap on and holds his hand under the flowing water. The falling water is stained pink as it spins around the drain and disappears. With a gentle hand he brushes over his knuckles, just surveying it to be sure

Of course, he tries his best to clean out the injury, making sure no stray pieces of glass have gotten trapped inside the cuts. 

  After a few minutes the water begins running clear, everything sucked away down into the drain never to be seen again. Only then does he pull his hand out and dry it off. Not wanting to go searching for bandages he grabs one of the white t-shirts and rips it some small strips off. Being as gentle as possible he wraps the cloth strips tightly around his hand even tighter until everything feels numb and hazy.

  With thoughts and memories still screeching in his mind he collapses onto the bed. He pulls the covers tightly around him, burying his injured hand under the duvet. Curled up in the darkness he closes his eyes and prays sleep will find him. 

Chapter Text

04/05 - 12:45

  Despite how much he prayed, the gods clearly weren’t on his side. Hours and hours passed as he waited in his bed but sleep never came. His thought were just too…loud. 

  Part of him just wants to remain in bed as the haze continues to wrap itself around his mind but he can feel the grumble of his stomach getting louder and louder. Honestly, he has no idea how long he's been in this room at this point but he should probably just grit his teeth and find himself some food. 

  As he gets up its clear things have improved ever so slightly from the day before at least. Not that it could have gotten much worse. The blinding pain seems to have most faded, leaving the rhythmic throbbing in its place. Most of the time its pretty bearable, but whenever he stands up or moves too fast the world is consumed by darkness that seems to somehow spin in front of him.

  It takes far longer than he would have liked to try and get dressed, moving as slowly as he can as the tingly numbness begins to spread, but he makes it work nonetheless. Seeing the clothes now there is no missing pink splotches still dotted all over the shirt. Only now does he vaguely remember slumping on the bed without actually getting ready or changing clothes. Although given his delirious state he's hardly surprised…

  Still he doesn’t let himself give the clothes a second though as he throws the clothes on top of the dresser as fast as he can in this state. Maybe he should try and find some cleaning products later if he wants to attempt to get rid of those stains. Then again, with low quality clothes like these, does it even matter?

  As he pulls on some new clothes, he turns his back to the bathroom and the broken mirror. Putting them far behind him, even if he can't actually forget about them. Only once he’s changed does he finally start redressing his knuckles with another scrap of fabric from the t-shirt. The wounds have scabbed over since he last checked them so the dressing is probably unnecessary but he goes through the motions anyway. Keeping his hands busy if nothing else. 

  For some reason he'd thought he would know what to do after getting ready but as he stands there, freshly dressed, he's as lost as ever. It feels like, for the first time since waking up, he really has no goal on the horizon. There is no pull to return to the Neo World Program. No itch tugging him towards the memories. No desire to see the others or learn about this place. What more is there for him?

  Scanning the room his gaze is drawn to the two sleek files that are still laying on top of his dresser. Even from over here he can perfectly make out the names on each one. His and Chiaki’s. Swaying from side to side and clenching his fists, he stalks over to them. Taking one in each hand before tossing both directly in the small bin in the corner of the room. But even then they still peek out so he grabs the blood shirt and throws it over them. 

  There, that’s better. His hands rest either side of his hips. Good riddance with them both honestly.

  Wanting to put as much space between him and the files as possible, he grips onto the door handle. For a few seconds he lingers there. Just holding onto the door handle as he tries to steady himself. Only once his mind has had time to settle does he yank open the door to step out. 

  Perhaps he has just been trapped in his bubble for too long but as he steps out into the main room he stutters for a moment. Pausing where he stands at the still quiet of the corridor. It's hardly like he was expecting chaos raining down but it still sends a shiver down his spine. The only sound breaking the atmosphere being repetitive scrubbing echoing towards him. 

  Scrub, scrub, scrub. 

  It’s almost melodic. 

  Cautiously, he creeps around the corner as slowly as he can. Peering out into the common room as he leans around the edge of the corridor. Even with his limited view there is no way he can miss the sight of Sonia sitting there on the floor. Her hand is gripping tightly onto a small scrubber, her long hair perfectly tied up in a bun on top of her head - not so much as a strand out of place. Much to his confusion she brings the scrubber up to ferociously scrub at the walls with as much force as she can. He doesn’t want to know how much dish soap she used as a mountain of bubbles have built up on the surface. 

  For a moment he frowns attempting to figure out what she’s doing there with such determination. Only then does he see the red stain streaked across the walls - everything from the night before hitting him all at once. His own blood is painted on the surface, a perfect line leading up to his door. 

  A hand claps against his shoulders, jolting him forwards as someone shouts in his ear, “Izuru!” His skin crawls uncomfortably but he shoves the feeling down, fighting to just keep himself from flinching too noticeably, “What happened?! Are you okay?” 

  Before Izuru can think properly, Kazuichi squeezes his shoulder tightly. Forcing him to come face to face with Kazuichi. Shaky eyes meeting in the middle. 

  It doesn’t help that the conversation is punctuated by the soft thud of the scrubber falling to the ground as Sonia cries out, “Kamukura!" 

  Yet again goosebumps break out across his skin. Its as if a switch has been flipped in his mind. He can’t even control his body anymore.

  They can both hear her scramble against the floor as she shoots across the room. Launching herself at them. Even so, neither of them make any moves to shift out of the way. Allowing her to close the distance in the blink of an eye.

  “I’m fine.” He swallows deeply. Although even he doesn’t believe he’s being convincing right now, what is he supposed to tell them? 

  “Fine?! There’s a line of blood going to your room. We tried knocking on your door so many times but you never answered us.” Kazuichi grips both his shoulders and shakes him without any remorse. 

  Lights dance uncomortably in front of his eyes as he tries desperately to blink them away. With every shake the world becomes blurrier and blurrier. Every inch of his being wants to shove Kazuichi away but he’s too disorientated to do much of anything. He’s only saved when Sonia’s bubbly covered hand reaches for his own, lifting it up to her eye line. 

  “What happened? Is your hand okay?” He can feel her gently poking at the hastily wrapped cloth. 

  He blinks slowly and he moves his legs slightly further apart to try and create a stable base under himself. Bit by bit the light begins to bleed out, the colour and life returning to the world around him.

  “Nothing happened. I just accidentally knocked into a mirror.” It’s not exactly a lie so he tells himself that there’s nothing wrong with it.

  “A mirror?” It would take an idiot not to sense the judgement and suspicion oozing off of Kazuichi with every passing second. Still he chooses to ignore the other boy,

after all he’s already said everything he needed to say. 

  “Well thank god you are okay!” Sonia finally releases his hand, letting it gently return to Izuru’s side, “When we saw the blood and Naegi, Kirigiri, and Togami rushing around, we were worried for your safety. We were sure something had happened to you!”

  Are those…tears? 

  A pang of pain courses through his body but he holds still and strong. Two different images of Sonia dance before his eyes. At first he sees the girl he used to know, stood above a cheering crowd, eyes alight with crackling flames. But within a split second a different version of the girl comes into focus. The same girl who broke down sobbing as Gundham was dragged off to his fate. He sees the girl who collapsed when Chiaki was sentenced. The girl who wanted nothing more than to bake with her friends. He's the one that is making Sonia cry. 

  “I’m sorry for worrying you.” He drops any pretense, pursing his lips as he swallows hard, “It really was nothing though. I just needed to sort myself out so I guess I just didn’t notice you and Kazuichi knocking.”

  “It is okay. I think I am just a little more on edge nowadays than I once was…” Sonia tries to smile as she gently wipes her eyes with the back of her arm. 

  “What about Naegi, Kirigiri and Togami?” Kazuichi frowns, turning his entire body towards Izuru, “What was going on with them if it wasn’t about you?” 

  He’s not sure he wants to know what they were doing. There’s no doubt it was related to his little trip into the Neo World Program. Probably the three of them making plans about what to do with the rest of them knowing how they operate. The voice in the back of his head reminds him that it should probably bother him a little more but at this point he’s beyond all that. They can do whatever they want. 

  “It doesn’t matter. It’s probably nothing we want to hear about anyway.” He waves it off casually. 

  “You have to come and sit over here.” Sonia grabs his hand and pulls him into the communal area without giving him any chance to back out. 

  Neither her nor Kazuichi bring up the blood or the others again. Instead, they seem insistent on using him as some kind of judge for their strange cooking game. Both of them are basically scrambling over each other to try and impress him with the concoctions. 

  While he’s stuck waiting on them to finish cooking he tries to fix whatever Sonia had been doing to the wall. Taking a fresh sponge he cleans away the bubbles and he starts gently wiping away every smudge of red between the entrance and his room. It’s almost peaceful sitting there, listening to Sonia and Kazuichi bicker in the background. For a little while he can allow himself to pretend they’re in the Neo World program. That they’re still on that island in those first few days when they were still bickering but were all safe and alive. But then he hears the emptiness around them and he’ll be reminded that in some ways it really is just Kazuichi and Sonia left - if even that. 

  “Come on Izuru, try this!” Sonia shoves a plate of…something in front of him. 

  He hasn’t even put it in his mouth yet and he’s already getting goosebumps. There is no way it’s a good sign when even he has no idea what she’s supposed to have made. Kazuichi’s dish is clutched in his hands, and while the dough is practically charcoal, it still resembles a pizza if nothing else. If he didn’t know any better he might guess Sonia’s is some kind of soup but there’s far too much solid matter floating within for him to truly be certain. 

  “Fine.” He braces himself and closes his eyes before he lets Sonia shovel the mess into his open mouth. 

  Surprisingly it’s not as inedible as her other food but he can’t pick our a single flavour other than garlic from the strange half liquid. 

  “How much garlic did you put in this?” He coughs, gently pushing the spoon away.

  “Hmmm, the recipe said 2 cloves.” 

  He slowly turns towards her part of the kitchen to try and get a better look at the ingredients on the counter top. Sure enough he sees the garlic skin but there’s far more than 2 cloves worth. Wait, by two cloves did she… 

  He coughs dramatically and instantly looks over to Kazuichi hoping for any kind of moral support. Instead he’s greeted by a loud snorting laugh as he rocks back. The pizza slides straight off the plate and onto the floor but not one of them makes a single move to save it. Not right now anyway.

~~~

04/05 - 20:04

  Compared to how the day before had gone, this time at least Izuru feels somewhat lighter as he steps back into his room. Exhaustion permeates his very soul and yet he can feel the ghost of a smile on his lips. Somehow - despite the fact that his mind still feels like it had been through a blender - he feels better than ever. If he didn’t know any better he would have thought that Sonia or Kazuichi had slipped something into the food. Even they wouldn’t have gone that far though. Not now anyway. 

   As soon as he enters the room he trudges over to the bed and flops down onto it, lying up and staring at the ceiling once again. The air in the room carries a slight metallic tinge which itches at his nose but even that isn’t quite enough to get him up off the bed. He’s had to deal with more than enough blood for one day. That can be tomorrows problem now. 

  Long black hair surrounds him, strands draping in every possible direction. A few rogue pieces are slowly shifting, drooping in front of his eyes. No matter how hard he blows they simply flutter up before dropping right back down onto his face. Damn, he really needs to get up and retrieve his hair band. The sooner he can get this hair gone and out of the way the better. 

  He’s never had particularly strong feelings towards his hair, but right now with it laying awkwardly sitting directly in his view… He’d never known hair could look so much like wires. Each strand slowly curls around him. He could almost be convinced they were trying to choke the life out of him. Since when was hair this out of control?!

  Scowling he launches himself up off the of the bed to storm over to the bathroom. He fists his long hair and tosses the hair over his shoulder. It will all be better if he just grabs a hairband. That’s all he needs. 

  However, as soon as he catches a flash of his reflection in the shattered mirror he freezes up. Unable to breath as the shimmering dark red of his now dried blood stares back. No matter how much he wants to move, he can't even swallow. It’s hard to make out much of anything with whispery cracks spread across the entire surface but even now with his hair hanging limply around him there is no missing the long scar across the side of his head. Peering closer into the mirror he reaches up to adjust a few strands of hair to cover the scar better. It does very little to help though, if he strains his eyes there’s still no missing it but there’s not much more he can do about it now. 

  Finally snapping him out of his haze, je fumble around for the hair tie and pulls his hair up into a knot. Keeping the strands covering the scar in place as he does so. Maybe it’s the darkness, or the broken mirror, or maybe its just the way his hair is tied up, but his hair almost looks like it used to. He can pretend the dark colouration is nothing but the darkness playing tricks on his eyes. 

  Absentmindedly his hand reaches up to brush at his hair. Even with the lightest of touches the hair begins breaking free, tumbling around. Just like that the illusion is shattered. Once again long black wiry hair is framing him. For some reason the sight sends a churning feeling through his stomach.

  His hand stretches forward to lay his palm against the shattered glass. The harder he presses against the surface the more the cracks spread. As the cracks meet the edge of the mirror a large shard shatters off, falling into his palm. His still injured hand curls around the sharpened edge as he bring it up to his face. It’s too thin to show much but that doesn’t stop him from gazing in hopefully. 

  As if his body is moving on it’s own, he yanks the rest of his hair free and he brings the shattered glass up to the strands. Without hesitating he presses the sharp edge against the strands, slashing into them with a single strong stroke. Hair falls around at his feet but he keeps cutting. Piece by piece each one is hacked away until he’s left with a short bob of jagged hair. Each one is a completely different length, the awkward disjointed angles sticking out like a sore thumb but he doesn’t bother touching them up. Instead he twists his head from side to side, trying to get a better look at each side in the broken remains for the mirror. He’d almost forgotten how light it feels not having all that hair all the time. His scalp sighs at the feeling of fresh air brushing against it. 

  He does his best to brush free any loose strands, watching them float gently towards the ground. However, no matter how much he brushes, the itching refuses to die down. It’s like a million ants are crawling across his skin. Some of the hair must have slid down the back of his shirt so he yanks it off and swaps into a pyjama shirt. 

  Shaking loose his hair one last time he abandons the bathroom. Black hair is still littered everywhere but he doesn’t bother brushing it up. Instead he crashes onto the bed and pulls the cover over himself, wrapping himself up tightly. Scratching at his neck he lays in the darkness until sleep overtakes him. 

Chapter Text

05/05 - 03:14

  He’s so tired of nightmares. For the millionth time since leaving the Neo World Program, he jerks awake in the pitch black of the night. The only relief is that he can’t remember a second of it no matter how hard he tries to look back on it. 

  Loose hair tickles the back of his neck incessantly. No matter how much his nails scrape at the raw skin it doesn’t get any better. If anything the fresh skin is even more itchy. Black strands are scattered all over the pillow, taunting him. 

  In a last ditch effort he drags himself to the shower and stands under the pounding water. Only as the water trails down him does it click that he hasn't taken his pyjamas off. But even then he doesnt make a move, letting them simply soak in the water as they cling to his body.

  The exposed fresh skin sears under the pounding heat but he doesn’t even consider moving out of the way. While his mind may be fogged up, he simply breathes it in. It’s all he can do to press his head up against the cooler tiles of the shower. It's doesn’t clear the fog that’s descending over his head but it does ground him slightly. 

  He can see the thin black strands slowly washing down. Bit by bit the water slowly turns the faintest shade of pink as water runs off his neck and body. His mind clings to the sight, unable to pull away from the mix of black and pink underneath him. He probably shouldn’t be so disappointed when the water does finally begin to run clear. 

  However, even then he doesn’t move from his spot. Water still crashes against him and the heat still sears through him down to his bones. As long as he stands here everything is distant and covered in a thick haze. He can’t feel the unending itching. All he can feel is the heat and water.

  How long does he stay there unmoving? An hour? Longer? Almost as if chastising him, the water slowly begins to grow colder and colder. Every inch of heat being sapped out and leaving him shivering and itchy. This must be a limit to the Future Foundations resources. As much as he wants to critise it, it’s actually impressive the hot water lasted this long in this day and age.

  Despite the cold now slicing through him, he still doesn’t want to actually move out if it’s path. He should. He really needs to get out and get warm. The chattering of his teeth feels like a jackhammer to the inside of his head. And yet he just stands there. It’s all he can do to reach over and turn off the water. The unsteady dripping of his own soaking wet clothes is the only sound left in the room. The only sound other than the screaming and pounding sounds from within his body.

~~~

05/05 - 05:16

  Food. He needs food. Somewhere past the haze of his mind he can feel his stomach churning and growling angrily. Somehow he hadn’t had his fill yesterday. 

  He’s only just pried himself out of his wet clothes but it must almost be morning by this point - without a clock to look at it’s hard to be sure though. A more than appropriate time for food if you ask him. Then again, when there is nothing else to do in the day is there such a thing as an inappropriate time for food?

  As usual the kitchen is devoid of life when he enters. Everyone is silent behind their respective doors but he can’t help but wonder if they’re all asleep or simply laying in bed waiting for the seconds to tick by. Who knows… 

  Without anyone here for him to cook for he simply grabs some bread and begin making toast. The sooner he can make the food and eat it the better. It’s not like there are many toppings to be found but he spreads on some butter and calls it a day. 

  “You’re a mess.” 

  He jumps out of his skin, twisting to try and see who’s coming up behind him but somehow the sight is even more shocking that the noise itself. 

  Akane’s frail form is leaning against the wall of the corridor. Even now she’s clinging to the walker, every muscle in her body straining feebly. After days of nothing, here she is as if nothing happened. He’s almost tempted to believe that it’s nothing more than an illusion from his addled mind. The only hint she’s real is her frail frame - it’s a stark contrast to how he’s used to seeing her in his memories and dreams.

  Of all the times to come back though…why is she here now? It might be wishful thinking but perhaps this isn’t the first time. Maybe she’s been sneaking out every night and they’ve been worried about her for nothing. And then he looks her up and down again and all those worries come back. 

  “Why thank you.” He sighs and turns back to his food. 

  Knowing Akane pity wouldn’t be what she needs anyway. If she’s treating this casually then he will too. 

  “How didja screw your hair up that bad? Didn’t you have that long fancy hair.” Her voice has a slightly croaky edge to it but its surprisingly firm despite her weakened form. And yet in spite of that, there’s still something distinctly Akane about it. An unfaltering strength hidden behind every word. If he hadn’t physically seen her he might be tricked into thinking she was the same as ever. 

  He doesn’t bother turning around as she approaches. It’s not like she can sneak up on him. Every step she takes drags out as she shuffles along.

  “It was getting long and in the way. I needed to cut it.” He keeps his voice as steady as possible.

  Is is he supposed to explain why he really cut it? I got some of my memories back and now my brain is broken so I had to hack off my hair. Yeah, he’s going to sound very stable and sane after that. Then again, what difference does it make if Akane sees him as stable and sane.

  Even so, she doesn’t slow down or stop. In fact, after an arduous minute or two, he finds her standing right behid him. She’s grinning ear to ear, eyes alight like a child on Christmas day.

  “What’s that look for?” He sighs and finally turns towards her.

  “I can do some hairdressin' for ya!” She turns her back to the counter, using her elbows to keep her up. “Anythin’ to tidy up that mop.” Her judgemental hand wave isn’t appreciated.

  “Thank you but I think I can manage. I’m more qualified than you after all.”  He waves her away and takes a large bite of his toast. He doesn’t need to entertain this - especially not when his food is right there in front of him.

  “It sure looks like it.”

  Realistically, the first hair he’s ever cut was his own yesterday. It might not be the most flattering example but that changes nothing. He just needed it gone, he wasn’t aiming for a perfect model haircut. Maybe if he had used scissors he would have done better. Either way it’s perfectly fine…

  His hands go up immediately to run through the hacked locks. Feeling every inch of the lopsided hair, “I was using a piece of broken mirror, I didn’t have any scissors to hand so it got a little messy. I wasn’t trying to make it look good.”

  “Eh, I thought you were supposed to be Mr Perfect or whatever. What’s wrong with lettin’ me fix it for ya?” 

  Mr Perfect, huh? He seems to be failing at that a lot recently. What would the doctors say if they saw his ragged look right now? The thought makes him chuckle a little internally. They would most certainly pitch a fit over the whole thing. Good. For the first time he actually wants to see the bastards. 

  “Why do you want to fix it anyway.” He sets down his toast and regards her.

  She’s been reclusive for days, running away when he saw her at night, and now she just wants to cut his hair. He can’t truly look that bad. Can he? Perhaps checking himself over in the mirror might not be such a bad idea. 

  She turns and looks at the floor. Her matted hair flops in front of her, hiding her face from view. He can just about see her biting her lip underneath the thick layer of hair.

  “I dunno. You just look all pathetic. Don’t you wanna look normal?” She mumbles quietly. Her feet brush against one another distractingly.

  Pathetic? He wants to feel angry. He wants to feel offended. He wants to take his food and leave but doesn’t do any of those things.

  ‘Look normal’. That’s exactly what he didn’t want. He needed it all gone. If he had wanted to look the same as usual he’d have left it as it was, long and wiry and getting everywhere no matter what he tried. 

  Even so looking at her now it’s impossible to squeeze out the word no. He takes a deep breath in and folds his arms. He’s going to regret this isn't he… It wouldn’t be the first time.

  “You better not make it worse.”

  Her entire face lights up at once. Just like that she looks up from the ground, grinning once again. In fact, maybe she’s a little too excited about this all. At least she has some kind of energy though he supposes. It’s better than a walking husk of a person.

  “What are you sayin’? I've got a whole lotta younger siblin's - I know how to cut hair. I ain’t gonna make it worse than it is now.” She carefully releases the walker and stands resolutely with her hands on her hips. 

  “Sure.”

  With newfound purpose and energy, she starts rustling though the nearby draws for any kind of scissors. He watches on curiously as she sweeps by like a hurricane. Her walker looks more like an extension of her own body as it glides about the room with ease. There’s no rhyme or reason to her searching, she’s just tearing apart everything she sees. It’s almost impressive. Almost.

  Yet despite the inefficiency, she does eventually pull out a shiny pair of scissors from the cutlery draw. Brandishing them like a sword she begins waving it in front of him proudly. It’s hard not to be a little worried that she’s about to poke one of their eyes out.

  Miraculously they both make it out fine as she backs away, scissors now safely at her side. Although her legs are still shaky, she moves with much more purpose this time. In no time at all she’s moved over to the couch, her scissors bouncing against the arm rest as she taps it impatiently.

  “Come on then.” She beckons him with a wiggle of her scissors. Not at all worrying in the slightest. What has he gotten himself into here?

  “I need to finish my food.” His pieces of toast are still sat on the table calling to him. She couldn’t have interrupted after he got to eat? His stomach growls in agreement. Unfortunately that agreement doesn’t spread any further. 

  “What? Just eat it while I’m cutting your damn hair.”

  His hands reach down to grip the plate with his food protectively. Putting his body between her and his precious food is all he can do.

  “No. I’m not letting you get hair all over my food.” Just the thought of it makes him want to gag. There’s been enough hair all over the place for one day. Can’t he even eat one meal in peace? 

  “Fine.” Her eye roll speaks otherwise.

  Of course she wouldn’t understand. He’s talking to the wrong person here. The food might as well no exist to her… 

  That’s when an idea comes into his mind, “Why don’t you eat my other slice. I’ll be finished sooner if you do.”

  His stomach cries out desperately but he ignores it. No matter how angry and vocal his body is, it doesn’t need this food right now. He can go a few more hours and be no worse off. Akane on the other hand… Hadn’t he been wanting to force her to eat the other day. She’s right here in front of him. 

  Her eyebrows crease together as she tries to read him. Thankfully post despair Akane is still, at her core, the same as the one he remembers from the Neo World Program. No amount of effort is going to help her read him of all people. 

  “Why don’t you just eat it after?” 

  He scrunches up his nose in disgust, holding the plate up in front of her temptingly “No one wants to eat cold toast and I’m not wasting the food." 

  Even as he speaks he can see her nose twitching erratically. Beast instinicts reawakening from scent alone. She doesn’t even bother trying to hide her dry swallow.

  “You’re weird, you know that?” She scoffs but she takes the toast anyway.

  Her shaking hand grip the edges of the toast, slowly pulling at the bread as if she’s never seen it before in her life. Instead of taking large bites she simply nibbles at the edges, more like one of the four dark devas than the beast she used to be. Even so, its better than nothing so he’ll take what he can get. 

  “I am technically four years old. It would most likely be stranger if I was normal…” He mumbles as he tucks into his toast. 

  “Four years old?” Akane asks between nibbles, cocking her head to the side like a small puppy. “How does that even work?”

  “That’s when Hope’s Peak messed with me.” He shrugs casually.

  He’s not actually sure if Akane is even aware of his history with Hope’s Peak. It’s not like he sat down and spoke to most the other despairs about it before everything happened. It never seemed neccessary to talk about. Then again Junko did like bashing the school whenever possible so its impossible to be sure. 

  “Oh right, the Izuru stuff.” Akane nods mid nibble, “Well you ain't like a gour year old at least. At least not like any of my siblin's.” Akane grins, showing off her sharp canines. It’s not exactly high praise but he returns the smile anway. 

  “Thanks, I guess.” He snorts sarcastically and shoves the last bit of toast in his mouth.

  It leaves a dry feeling in his mouth but he swallows it down anyway. It might not exactly be the most filling meal but his stomach has stopped growling at least. It’s enough to see him through. 

  Akane on the other hand has barely even chewed through a corner. Small scraps are missing around the edge but nothing more. He doesn’t dare say a word though, not even as she sets it back on her plate and moves to grab the scissors. 

  “Come on then.” With the hand that’s holding her scissors she grips onto the walkers and with the other she gently tugs on his sleeve. “Lets get your hair sorted so I don’t gotta look at it anymore!” Her mischeviously smile isn’t exactly encouraging but he allows himself to be dragged up anyway. 

  “What about the toast?” He frowns down at the plate, picking it up in one hand. 

  “You and the damn toast.” She rolls her eyes and snorts, “Just bring it with you. I’ll eat it while I’m working.” 

  Just the thought of her getting butter and crumbs in his freshly cut hair makes him break out in goosebumps but he doesn’t say a word. It’ll be fine. He can always just have another shower if he needs to. 

  So without argument they both shuffle back to Akane’s room. After a few steps she releases her hold on him to focus on moving as fast as she can but he hovers right behind her anyway. It would feel wrong to storm ahead into her room without her, besides at lest this way he can keep an eye on her. 

  When they finally make it to her room she kicks open the door with her foot and hobbles into the room. Cautiously Izuru stalks behind her, scanning the room as they enter. It’s not particularly different to any of the other rooms, it’s not like there is enough stuff in this place to do any personalisation, however there are a few dirty clothes littered randomly with no rhyme or reason. Knowing how Akane’s room had been in the Neo World Program he’s fully aware it could be worse so he puts up no fuss as she leads him in. 

  Instead of moving over to the bathroom she stumbles over to the bed, kicking her walker aside as soon as she takes a seat. Pointing with her scissors at the floor she barks orders at him, “Sit here.” 

  “On the floor?”

  “You got a problem? I gotta be able to get to all your hair so you need to be shorter than me. I ain’t standing up the whole time - not if you want decent hair.” 

  It’s hard to argue with that. Sucking in a deep breath he takes his spot on the floor, crossing his legs and staring forward at a random point of the wall.

  Humming to herself Akane snips her scissors menacingly. The blades are still nowhere near his head but it sends a shudder down him anyway. He almost jumps out of his skin when something cold brushes against him but instead of smooth metal he feels tough nails slowly brushing through his locks. 

  “What didja do to your neck?” She tuts like a chiding teacher rather than the bullheaded athlete he’s always seen her as. The serious tone most certainly doesn’t suit her.

  He shivers as her nails prod at the sore spot on the nape of his neck. He has to dig his nails into his palms to remind himself not to flinch back. She’s just being curious and not thinking. She’s just being Akane.

  Gritting his teeth he hisses at her, “Leave it!” 

  For a few seconds her hands just fall motionless, still resting uncomfortably on his neck. But right when he’s about to reach back and yank her hands off she shifts them away. 

  “Sure….whatever.” 

  “Look, it was itchy. I ended up scratching it a bit much, that’s all.” He crosses his arms childishly. 

  Surely that much should have been obvious! Was the scratching a little bit much? Maybe. But she’s not one to be judging him. Especially not now after everything. Even so, he probably shouldn’t let her see his scabbed over knuckles. 

  “Well don’t scratch while I’m working.” 

  With a short huff she begins putting her scissors to work. There’s nothing he can do but sit there and listen to the soft snipping as the scissors get to work. Listening to the sounds alone is almost soothing. At least it is if he pretends he hasn’t give Akane of all people the power over his hair. Sat here in the middle of the room he can’t even keep track of progress with a mirror. He has to soley rely on what little cues he’s given. 

  He can’t even imagine what she’s going for when she says ‘make him look like normal’. Since awakening as Izuru he’s only ever had long straight hair. Silently he prays that she’s not going to give him a straight bob or bowl cut… 

  “Sit up straight.” Akane chides firmly, hitting the back of his head gently. Following her directions he straightens up and bites down on his bottom lip. He hadn’t even noticed he was collapsing in on himself. “Now stay still. Don’t wriggle.”

  In the past he’s never had any issues with sitting perfectly still but now all of a sudden its like ants have crawled into his trousers. Every little movement of her scissors has him jolting and wriggling. Doing his best to channel the nervous energy away he starts bouncing his leg softly. 

  “I’m not a child…” Somehow the words don’t sound as believable when he says them aloud as they sounded in his head. 

  “And I don’t want to have ta beat some sense into ya.” 

  Trying to settle himself he closes his eyes and forces a few slow breaths. His mind slowly drifts to his memory of Akane. If the version of him from inside the program could see this moment right now would he have been surprised. All of him memories are flooded with Akane booming around the place. Her energy completely drowning every room. And yet here she is quietly working at his hair.

  For the rest of the ‘session’ she remains silent and diligent. She’s so quiet that when the scissors finally fall to her side and she opens her mouth to speak he’s taken aback.

  “There ya go!” She chuffs and nudges his shoulder firmly. “Go check it out.” 

  He doesn’t need to be prompted more than once. Not waiting for Akane to retrieve her walker he makes a beeline towards the bathroom. Every step he takes has his heart pounding faster and faster. The thundering drone almost completely overtaking him.

  When he finally steps in front of the mirror he can’t bring himself to look up. What if it has been completely butchered? What if he’s just let her completely wreck his appearance. Sure, the haggard and hacked up look wasn’t exactly great but at least that was him. He had some control. This is all Akane. 

  This is stupid. It’s just some damn hair. And if it does look a state then its too late now. At this point he needs to look because if there is any damage then its already too late.

  Pulling himself together he forcefully opens his eyes and meets the gaze of his reflection. The breath catches in his throat. Instantly his hands jump up to his hair, rubbing through them just to be sure its definitely not an illusion. 

  “See, you look more like yourself now dude!” Akane preens but he completely ignores her. 

  Instead of trying to recover the spindly straight hair he’s always had, she’s neatened up each of his hacked away locks making them into perfect little spikes. If his hair wasn’t still jet black he could be fooled into thinking Hajime Hinata was staring back at him. Every lock is still perfectly in place, all the way down to the slightly longer strand at the top of his head. 

  “I -”

  He can see Akane grinning smugly through the mirror. She still has one hand on the walker but the other is set on her hip, “I told ya I know what I'm doing.” 

  Of all the skills he would have gone to Akane for, this most certainly wasn’t one of them. Sure, on the island she’d mentioned her family but she most certainly didn’t mention all this. If he wasn’t so wrapped up in staring at his reflection he might be embarassed by his sudden inability to even form words. 

  “Thank you.”

  “What'cha bein’ so polite for?” Although she tries to tilt her head away even she can’t hide the bright pink flush that appears across her taut cheeks. Even her awkward little cough does nothing to cut through the moment, “Whatever. Y’know we can dye your hair too. I saw some dye in one of that medical lookin’ room the other day.”

  He could swear his heart skips a beat, “Dye it…? Why would I need to dye it?” He mumbles but he’s instantly imagining his reflection with brown hair once more. Every inch of Hope’s Peak scrubbed clean from him. Everything except the scar at least. Going back to his original brown hair after everything feels somehow more surreal than everything else they’ve been through. 

  As if reading his mind, Akane pushes herself up to his side. She’s still slightly shorter than him but that doesn’t stop her from reaching into his hair to rifle through it softly, “Don’tcha wanna make it brown again. Black don’t really suit you, y'know.” 

  His expression hardens, “Yes. I want to dye it.” Yes he wants this. No, he needs this. He can finally be done with the black hair for good. Or at least until his new roots grow back. 

  “Come on then.” She grabs his hand and he lets her drag him from the room to begin their journey. 

  Even with shorter hair it takes longer than he would like to go through the whole process of bleaching and dyeing but he really shouldn’t complain. By the time they’ve finished the entire room reeks of chemicals, the scents have undoubtedly soaked into every inch of fabric. Although they’d been smart enough to move into the bathroom when handling the bleach, both of their clothes are stained, bleach and dye dripping absolutely everywhere. He doesn’t even want to think about how much damage he’s done to his hair but he can afford a little damage…right? 

  Sonia and Kazuichi must be able to hear them chatting inside Akane’s room and there’s no way they can’t smell the chaos but neither of them make any moves to knock on the door. For a little while its like him and Akane are in their own little bubble. He knows eventually that bubble will have to pop and he has no idea if Akane will ever willingly interact like this with him or any of the others again but for now he decides to just enjoy the moment. The rest of his worries are for tomorrow to deal with

~~~

05/05 - 20:13

  After a few hours Akane’s eyes have started drooping even while she’s sat up. Despite the fact she’s yawning, she refuses to admit she’s tired even once. It takes him forcibly dragging her to bed to make her get any rest. However as soon as her head hits the pillow she’s out. Once he’s sure she’s asleep he grabs all the empty dye bottles and leaves the room, quietly closing the door behind him. 

  As he steps out into the common room to throw away the empty bottles he notices the soft sound of Sonia mumbling. Looking around the room she’s no where to be seen but even if he can’t catch her words he knows what her voice sounds like by now. Cautiously he steps out from the common room and peers around the next doorway onto the Neo World room once more.

  Just like before Sonia is sat beside one of the pods, her hand reaching inside to hold the persons hand. Even though she’s just sat here her hair has been perfectly styled and thrown over her shoulder. All of them have been given exactly the same clothes and yet somehow it looks so much more fashionable on her. 

  “- not since I said I wanted to wake up you guys. However I heard Akane talking with Ha-Kamukura this morning. Both of their voices sounded so happy for once. Akane sounded like normal - for a little while it felt like she had come back.” Sonia sighs heavily, adujsting her arm ever so slightly, “I do not know if you would remember any of our past or Kamukura anymore however Kamukura is the name Hajime goes by now. At first I could not really see it no matter how much I tried but I can see the similarities now. I do not believe he has really changed much despite how he appears on the surface.”

  “You can still call me Hajime if you want to.” He clears his throat and steps fully out into her view. 

  He's not sure why he says it. Even now hearing Hajime’s name only makes him think of those memories. The ghost of someone else lingering within him. And yet hearing Sonia say that now…something feels different. For once he doesn't need to think about Hope's Peak and everything that happened when she says his name. Perhaps it's selfish but the feeling isn't entirely unpleasant.

  “Kamu -” She stops immediately as she catches sight of him, “Hajime?” Her mouth falls open at the mere sight of him. 

  “Who are you talking to?” He takes a few steps forwards, trying to peek into the pod she’s sat beside. 

  Her hand is wrapped around the pale hand of Peko. Her long silver hair is still loose, hanging in waves like a halo around her head. 

  “H-Hajime? Your hair?” 

  “Akane helped me sort it out.” 

  He grabs a chair and drags it over to the pod casually. Of course he was aware of what a shock it was going to be but he half hoped that if he acts like it is completely normal the others will follow suit. The last thing he needs is more people watching him.

  “I hope it looks okay. Having the long hair was starting to become a burden. It’s much more comfortable this way.” He gently reaches up and runs his fingers through it, rustling it until the spikes fall casually around him. 

  At those words Sonia immediately closes her mouth and smiles sweetly, “It looks wonderful. This style suits you much better.” 

  “I agree.” He tries his best to smile comfortingly.

  Sonia suddenly shakes her head as if she just realised something. Instantly she drops Peko’s hand and leans forwards towards him, “Oh sorry, Kirigiri is not here. Something has been going on with her and the others. They have been busy with some important discussions for the last few days.” 

  He frowns somberly. What could possibly have happened that would warrant this kind of response from the three of them? Could it be that the future foundation is making some kind of moves? If so then it was bound to happen sooner or later. If anything he should be impressed they lasted this long. But more pressingly, why is Sonia telling him this all of a sudden?

  “Why are you telling me this?” 

  Sonia cocks her head to one side, narrowing her eyes uncertainly, “You were looking for Kirigiri, were you not?” She looks around the room cautiously before leaning in even closer, “She told me about what you were trying to do here.” A slight pink flush rises to her cheeks and he catches her biting down on the inside of her cheek.

  So much for privacy. He should have known Kirigiri wouldn’t keep his secrets forever. Realistically she should have told everyone a long time ago, and yet the thought still stings a little. 

  “What did she tell you?” He grits his teeth and leans back in his chair as far as he possibly can without actually moving the chair itself. 

  “I just saw all the blood on your pod.” Sonia nods over his shoulder at the pod. Sure enough small smudges of blood are still visible on the exterior, “I was worried and so Kirigiri explained you had been using the pod to reenter the Neo World Program from time to time. She made it clear that you had no ill intents though. I think perhaps she was just a little worried about you. We all are.” 

  Her hand darts forward, gently laying ontop of his own, her perfectly manicured and soft skin a stark contrast to the calloused skin of Akane or Kazuichi. As soon as her hand makes contact with his, his hand freezes in place. It’s as if he’s worried that a single twitch of his muscles will scare her off. 

  He’s not sure how long they sit like that, Sonia’s hand on his own and her gaze fixed on the sleeping form of Peko. Eventually he’s the one who breaks the silence though, “I remember everything now, you know.”

  As soon as the words come out Sonia pulls her hand away like his hand just lit on fire. In fact he hears her elbow smash into the back of the chair violently from the force. She must have hit her humerus but her expression is so unchanging that it’s impossible to be completely certain. 

  “By everything….?” She swallows hard as if a rock has been lodged in her throat. If he’s being honest this isn’t quite the response he was expecting from her of all people.

  “I remember everything we did in the Neo World Program. The things from my life before all of this shit are still lost but I at least remember those pieces now.”

  He lets his gaze shift away from Sonia, and towards Peko and the others around them. Somehow its easier to admit looking at them instead of looking at Sonia. 

  “Kamukura, that’s amazing!” Sonia gasps, her eyes opening wider than he thought was humanly possible, “I was so worried you would never remember the others.” 

  Is she sniffling? He probably shouldn’t be surprised. After everything that happened he can only imagine how alone she was being the only one who remembered fully - that is assuming Akane, Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi haven’t snuck off to watch any of the videos without him knowing. At this point he wouldn’t put it past any of them. 

  Turning his head to one side he coughs gently before adding, “I said you can call me Hajime.” 

  “Okay, Hajime.” While her voice is always relatively soft and sweet, there’s something about her voice as she says his original name that makes his stomach flutter. As pathetic as it sounds, its enough to make him smile, “I think this calls for a celebration! Kazuichi and I did find some wine bottles in one of the desk draws the other day.” She winks cheekily and claps her hands together excitably.

  “Wine?” He raises an eyebrow. Once upon a time the idea of Sonia drinking would have been completely normal - if not expected - but now with the memories of the Neo World Program running rampant through his mind the thought is somewhat surreal. 

  “Yes! It seems the old future foundation workers who used to work here were good for something after all.” She grins excitedly. 

  Now he thinks about it, has he ever drunk alcohol before? Years of life and the thought of getting drunk never once appealed to him but now all of a sudden he finds himself grinning at the thought, “Sure, sounds good.”

  “Wonderful!” She claps a little too enthusiastically, “But before we do I just need to finish up here.”

  “Finish up? What have you been doing?” He examines the room around him, trying to piece together the plan here. Does she mean talking to Peko.

  Blushing deeply she mumbles, “Do not laugh, but I have been talking to them all. I have been keeping them up to date with everything that is happening.” She scratches her neck awkwardly, doing her best to hide her face with her arm.

  “Laugh? Why would I laugh?” He frowns uncertainly. Sure, he knows he hasn’t always left the best impression in the past but he’s a little ashamed Sonia thinks that low of him. 

  “Because its not exactly logical, they can not hear anything I say and yet I spend hours sat here talking to them all every day.”

  Many words come to mind at those words but not one of them is laughable. “It isn’t completely illogical. Coma patients have been recorded to hear things going on around them. This isn’t quite the same but we can’t know for sure that they can’t also hear us.” 

  “You really think so?” She sits up a little straighter, regaining her royal posture. 

  “I do.” He gives her a firm nod, refusing to allow any uncertainty to slip in. While he can't imagine doing that every day, different people need to do different things to work through grief. He isn't going to be the person to take this away from her.

  “Thank you, Hajime.”

  “It’s no problem. I’d be happy to join you, if you’d let me.” He gently shuffles his chair a little closer to Peko so he can reach forward to grab the sleeping girls hand the same way Sonia had done with both Peko and Gundham.

  “Of course! I am certain all of them would be overjoyed to hear from you too.”

  While he’s not sure he agrees, he happily moves around the room with Sonia. They talk to every single pod. They even go back to the pods Sonia had already done so she could introduce each one to Hajime.

  There’s something innocent and pure about the joy the oozes off of her with every conversation. An undying hope surviving despite everything. If this isn't proof of the Neo World Program's success then he has no idea what is. 

  It takes longer than he would have thought to speak to them all but he barely notices the time passing until he looks at a clock. By the time they have finished up dinner has come and gone. Even so every moment was worth it, even if it does end up just being for Sonia's peace of mind. Perhaps it doesn't need to be anything more than that. 

  However the time of day doesn’t stop Sonia’s plans whatsoever. He suspects it could have been the middle of the night or the crack of dawn and she would still refuse to cancel their ‘party’ plans. 

  “No, we need to celebrate! Besides, the evening is the best time to have celebratory drinks.” She sternly folds her arms, upturning her nose resolutely. 

  “What if Kazuichi is sleeping?” 

  Technically it isn’t actually late - only around 9pm - but it’s not like anyone around here is known for their good sleep schedules. At this he wouldn’t put it past any of them. 

  Apparently Sonia doesn’t agree though as she waves away his concerns casually, “He will not be asleep yet. However, if he is then we shall just have to wake him.”

  Wake him?! Isn’t that going a little too far? As much as she wants to ‘celebrate’ at a certain point sleep has to be more important. After all its not like they’re on a time crunch. There’s nothing stopping them from doing this tomorrow. 

  Still he does nothing to stop her as she knocks against Kazuichi’s door. Thankfully it seems the other boy wasn’t asleep after all as he swings open the door still dressed in filthy stained clothes. It seems the scrap pieces of metal he’d been working on a few days ago hadn’t disappeared completely, instead they’d all been brought over to his room where they now sit covering the majority of the floor space with the exception of a little Kazuichi sized patch in the middle. 

  But as soon as Kazuichi catches sight of him he flinches back, “Uh, Izuru? What happened to your hair?!”

  “Akane cut and dyed it for me.” He can feel his cheeks slowly warming. Perhaps dyeing it wasn’t a great idea after all. Now he has to live with people staring at him constantly. It’s almost more annoying than the long hair was itself. 

  “A-Akane?” 

  “Yes! We need the wine to celebrate Hajime feeling better and Akane leaving her room!” Sonia claps he hands enthusiastically and practically spins on the spot. “Come on, hurry hurry hurry!” 

  “Why do we need to celebrate?” 

  “After everything we deserve a celebration.” Neither him nor Kazuichi can argue with that. Deserve might be a bit of a strong word but they could certainly do with a little relaxation time. 

  Despite his complaints Kazuichi heads back into his room and pulls out a selection of bottles from under his bed. He does his best to balance them all in his arms but him and Sonia have to dart in and sweep up a few to avoid any catastrophes. When he’d heard ‘a few’ bottles he had been imagining two, maybe three, but much to his surprise there are five bottles in total. All the same green bottle of what appears to be red wine. 

  With the bottles now in hand Sonia turns around to them both excitedly, “We should invite Akane and Fuyuhiko too!” 

  Seeing her so enthusiastic it’s hard to tell her to stop even if it will end in disappointment. Judging by the glance Kazuichi throws his way he feels the same. Even if they tried to stop her he has no idea if they would be able to. 

  Unsurprisingly neither Akane nor Fuyuhiko responds to her knocking. Not even when she shouts the plan through their doors. He strains his ears as much as possible to try and listen out for any movement but there’s nothing. Dead silence waiting behind both of them. He’s not sure about Fuyuhiko but Akane was looking pretty dead to the world when he left her. Chances are she’s not waking up any time soon. 

  Nevertheless Sonia’s spirit hasn’t been dampened in the slightest. Both him and Kazuichi take seats besides each other on the couch as Sonia searches the kitchen for some appropriate glassware. Apparently normal glasses won’t do. 

  As they both sink into the couch in unison, they sigh and allow their shoulders to brush together. As he turns his head to the side he sees Kazuichi grinning. 

  “So Hajime, huh?”

  Once again his cheeks flush uncomfortably, “I suppose so. Sharing a name or appearance with anything Hope’s Peak related feels wrong after everything.” He scratches the back of his neck only to be reminded of the deep scratches still staining his skin. 

  “It suits you. I like this look much more.” 

  People are going crazy with the compliments. Does it really look that much better? It almost feels like perhaps he should be feeling offended instead of complimented…

  “Do you -” He pauses mid sentence trying to figure out how to word his question, “Do you remember me before all…this?” 

  “Some of it…not as much as Sonia or I guess you now…mostly just from dreams.” Kazuichi lowers his voice as he speaks, his eyes drifting down to stare at his lap awkwardly. 

  Dreams…it makes him wonder how much Fuyuhiko and Akane remember. He’d never forget how he found Fuyuhiko the other day - is there any chance he has gotten some of his memories back. Then again, knowing Fuyuhiko he would probably never tell them. It’s funny to imagine than just a few weeks ago they were sat in a island cabin swearing to be brothers and now they barely even see each other. This entire situation is such a mess…

  “This is supposed to be a celebration.” Sonia growls as she plops herself down beside him, shoving wine glasses in each of their hands. “We need a festive spirit not whatever this is.”

  “Sure Sonia…” Kazuichi tuts but even as he sips at his wine he can’t hide the slight smile encroaching on his lips.

  For a while it is peaceful. After so long of it just being him, Sonia, and Kazuichi it’s starting to feel oddly comfortable. Like it was only ever just the three of them against the world. Even just sitting here chatting about the book Sonia read today feels domestic. As if they really were all just normal classmates. 

  Maybe its the wine running straight to his head or maybe he’s getting a little too used to spending all his time with just Sonia and Kazuichi but the sound of mere footsteps travelling down the hallway makes his brain stall for a moment. It’s like the bubble around the three of them has been shattered and he is falling into free fall, trying to latch onto any thoughts that pass by him. It takes until Fuyuhiko and Akane round the corner for his brain to finally catch up with what’s going on.

  “Yay! You both cameeeee!” Sonia giggles and throws her hands up in the air. The wine glass in her hand sloshes from side to side at the sudden jerking movement but at this point she probably doesn’t even notice.

  Colour has never been something she lacks but right now might be the brightest he’s ever seen her. Every inch of skin in her face in tinted pink, all the way from the tips of her ears to her neck. On most people it would look unflattering but Sonia pulls it off with grace, even when she’s swaying sloppily. 

  “Fuyu! It’s been so long!” Unlike Sonia, Kazuichi actually does manage to set his glass down before he makes any attempt at getting up. Its a good thing he did because he barely even gets his arse up off the cushion before hes lost his balance and is tumbling down once again. 

  Rubbing his face with the heel of his hand Fuyuhiko grumbles to himself, “Ugh god, I was promised wine. I think I need some more alcohol before I sit through this shit.”

  “There’s more wine on the side. Bring all the bottles.” Izuru slurs, waving his hand towards the remaining three bottles of wine of the counter. 

  Akane grabs two of the bottles as Fuyuhiko picks up the remaining one, “Where d’you find this?” Akane mumbles giving the bottles a once over with an unmistakable frown before passing one over to Sonia.

  “In the offices. Someone had a secret stash.” Kazuichi winks cheekily, trying to hold his glass out to Fuyuhiko as if the shorter boy is actually going to top him up. 

  “No way, sort yourself out.” Fuyuhiko chucks the bottles at him and Kazuichi without giving them a second look before pulling the remaining bottle from Akane's grip, “This ones mine.” 

  “Glasses are -” Sonia hiccups, pointing over at the counter but neither Akane nor Fuyuhiko make any moves in that direction. Instead they both throw themselves onto a couch across from him Kazuichi and Sonia. As if its the most normal thing in the world Fuyuhiko pops it open and chugs straight from the bottle. He’s barely pulled it from his lips before Akane has snatched it back and taken a swig.

  “Oi!” Fuyuhiko wrinkles his nose and tries to reach for the bottle but even in this state Akane is miles faster, “I was gonna drink that.” He crosses his arms stubbornly.

  “Too bad.” Akane smirks and takes another swig, “I thought you were too young to drink or whatever.” 

  “We're over 20 now so it's all fine.” Fuyuhiko tuts and takes the bottle as Akane hands it back to him. As if all hints of disgust have been magically forgotten he downs another mouthful, wiping his mouth on the back of his arm.

  “Here’s to being adults!” Kazuichi tries to cheer half heartedly, sarcasm dripping from his words. 

  God, they actually are adults. Without his memories from before all of this he has no idea what he imagined 21 would feel like but he is willing to bet not like this. Drinking wine they fished out of an abandoned office with a bunch of ex-brainwashed psychos while he’s missing about 16 years of memories. Just your average start to adulthood. 

  When he was still normal Hajime he probably imagined having a home to go back to and a family that loved him. Maybe he thought he would be in love or married by now. Or perhaps he always dreamed of getting the perfect job and settling down to live comfortably. Who knows. Any hope of that stuff is long gone now. His home probably burned with everything else. 

  And yet… he looks around the room slowly at the meager collection of people they have left: Sonia, with her pink face that just barely hides her dark bags; Kazuichi who still has oil and grime streaked across his face; Fuyuhiko, who still has an eyepatch covering up the stolen eye which now haunts his eye socket; and Akane with her gaunt form and bleach stained clothes. Home might be long gone by now but for now would it be so bad for this to be home. 

  Hajime smiles and takes another sip of his wine. 

Chapter Text

06/05 - 06:50

  While he doesn't remember the evening before, as he wakes up he still somehow remembers that he dreamed again. He dreams of gunfire, and blood, and Junkos hands. The sharp feeling of her nails tugging at his skin. The burning feeling of a bomb going off just a little too close to him for comfort. 

  He dreams of Peko and Fuyuhiko stood amongst the carnage, swords still dripping and clothes stained with ash, blood, and god knows what else. Of Sonia and Mahiru stood above a crowd as chaos and riots broke out below. Both of them in beautiful pristine dresses, freshly ironed and laundered with their hair styled to perfection. And he dreams of Kazuichi still stained with oil, but his face twisted and contorted as he looked upon his monstrosities. 

  But even when he opens his eyes the nightmare doesn’t end. His head throbs, and aches, and he’s pretty sure he can smell vomit coming from somewhere but he doesn’t think he wants to know where. At least not quite yet.

  Instead he half crawls and half drags himself up off the couch, trying his best to steady himself with one hand on the arm rest. Motion sickness wasn’t something Hopes Peak thought he needed so the feeling has always been somewhat foreign but apparently not any more. Every slight movement of his body makes his head burn like it’s being split open yet again and his stomach sways and churns dangerously.

  Whoever’s idea it was to drink needs to die right now. Murder might be frowned upon but he couldn’t care less.

  Doing his best to maintain his flimsy sense of balance he creeps across the room towards the kitchen sink, searching for any kind of liquid that isn’t going to make him want to pitch himself off a cliff. 

  As he shuffles by, he gets a better look at his friends who are sprawled across the room. Fuyuhiko is still curled up on the couch he’d been on the night before. Someone must have gone to their room to fetch a blanket at some point because the boy is wrapped up in the fabric. Arms and legs sticking out at odd angles. He must have been too out of it properly prepare for bed as his eye patch has been knocked askew revealing the slightly gray tinted skin that surrounds Junko’s eye.

  Akane had been banished from the couch some time after Fuyuhiko passed out and she’s now laid on the floor next to sofa, her hair wild and knotted but a smile still ghosting her lips. A single empty bottle of wine is still clutched in her grip as she snores loudly.

  Even in spite of the copious amounts of wine she had drunk, Sonia is still somehow lying perfectly on a couch at the side of the room. She doesn’t have a blanket but her arms are neatly resting on her stomach. Gently clasping one another as if she was trying to cosplay sleeping beauty. In the back of his mind he vaguely remembers holding her hair back as she threw up into a toilet at some point, but just looking at the way her hair fans around her now it seems hard to believe.

  To her side, on one of the small armchairs, is Kazuichi. He’s splayed across the armchair, his arms and legs thrown haphazardly across the place. His hair has somehow been knocked over his face, strands stretching over his face and drooping into his mouth.

  Apparently at some point they decided to look through all of their old Hopes Peak files, as the contents are still scattered around the room for everyone to see. Corrections have been scrawled all over each one in red pen, not to mention the ‘artistic’ doodles of shit he assumes Akane added to every page. Just the thought of the look on Togami's face when he sees this is enough to make him grin. Years worth of one of a kind documentation straight from Hopes Peak, defiled in a single night by a gaggle of drunk young adults.  

  When he finally makes it over to the kitchen he sees glasses and bottles strewn everywhere. With the entire sink filled with dirty glasses - and a few charcoal covered pans that contain god knows what - he can barely even fit a glass under the tap to get water. Even so he gives it his best shot and chugs the water like his life depends on it. And then he downs another, and another, and another, until he physically can’t bring himself to take another sip. 

  As usual he has no idea what time it’s supposed to be right now. His gut instinct is that it’s early morning but with this amount of alcohol pumping through him he doesn’t think he would trust anything his gut is telling him right now. 

  Sighing to himself he drags himself away from the sink and goes into each of the dorms in search of blankets and pillows. He gathers as many in his hands as he physically can and drags them out to throw them over each of his sleeping friends. The only exception being Fuyuhiko who is already wrapped up in what appear to be Hajime’s blanket based on the bare bed he found when he stepped into his room. 

  Doing his best not to wake them he slips a pillow under each of their heads before stepping back to admire his handy work. Sure, they still look a million miles away from comfortable but at least it’s somewhat better than before. At least, that’s what he tells himself.

  As he finished tucking Sonia in, his foot hits the corner of a file he hadn’t noticed earlier. Curiosity blazing he bends down as best he can - trying to avoid throwing up all over the room - and gently lifts the file. Flicking it open as quietly as he can. 

  Just like all the others it’s been lovingly annotated with red pen and the aforementioned poop drawings, but instead of being one of their folders the name inside reads: ‘Mikan Tsumiki’. Judging by the swirly cursive writing Sonia must have been annotating this one, small comments about things Hopes Peak missed out or got wrong. It's not just hers either. Looking closer he notices there’s others. Amongst the files for himself and the others are the ones for the rest of them that are still resting in the other room. 

  Being led on by nothing but instincts he trails around the room, slowly gathering each one. One by one they stack up in his arms until there are too many even for him. He sets each one on the kitchen table until there are sixteen piled up. Sixteen...they must have fished out Chiaki's from the bin when they grabbed his. 

  After making sure everyone is still asleep he flips the page and begins studying each and every page of Mikan’s file. And then Nekomaru’s. And then Teruteru’s. Each comment is short - normally more words than sentences - and yet they somehow a single one contains more information than the countless number of one he had read before this. 

  Nekomaru always sleeps with the window open so he can always smell and feel the fresh air.  Where the file had once read: Teruteru insists on not utilising boarding facilities, it now reads: he refuses to leave when she needs him. A large chunk of Peko’s file that once listed all the things she needs to improve upon is now covered up with a list of all her favourite things in the world (number one being Fuyuhiko which based on the handwriting, he thinks Akane snuck in without the boys approval). Beside a section of Hiyoko’s file which lists all her graded live performances that year are small comments from his classmates where they described how each and every dance looked. 

  As he reads he can’t help but imagine how different things would have been if he hadn’t added Junko’s AI to the program. Would he have gotten to be a part of a school life just like this one with them all? Of course the old versions of them are gone - even if all of the surviving members did undo what Junko made them, they can never really be those people again. But inside the Neo World Program, even if only for a little while, they had been those people once again. 

  The concept of Sonia wanting to find a way to wake everyone up had seemed foolish before. A far flung dream that would only hurt them. But after everything, can he blame her. He was literally made to push the bounds of human ability. In the Neo World Program they had been lead to believe that waking up as they did would mean they could never find their way back to the people they used to be. And yet here they are.

  So maybe….maybe…

  There’s only one place he can go. 

  He doesn’t waste any time, he doesn’t even bother closing the door files around him he just sprints out of the communal area and across the hallway. It’s barely even 10 steps away and yet somehow every step feels like it lasts a life time. Every cog in his brain is turning. Thinking. Churning. 

  There has to be someway. Somehow. There just has to be. As Hajime he must have chosen to go through with Hope’s Peaks damn plan for a reason. They might have been useless pieces of shit but they gave him this one thing and for once he is going to make that mean something. For once Hope’s Peak needs to not let him down. 

  There’s no one in the room as he enters but that doesn’t stop him. He’s seen Kirigiri start this thing so many times now that he doesn’t even need to think twice before he dashes over to the terminal. It feels strange being on the other side of it for once. A million lines of codes and commands rush across the screen, overloading it with flashes of black and green. And yet, just like with everything else, it just clicks in his mind. Just like when he made the Junko AI, every line fits perfectly inside his head. Jigsaw pieces working together to build up the image in his mind. 

  Within seconds he’s located the right button. He has no idea if you can preemptively begin the program before you put on the headpiece but he supposes there’s only one way to find out. What’s the worst that can happen? 

  As pulls himself back into his bloodstained pod and holds the headpiece over him, a million worst case scenarios play inside his head. His mind getting erased. Him accidentally beginning the program for real. His mind breaking once more. The bleeding… But the longer he waits the worse the tension will be. Gritting his teeth as hard as he possibly can, he pulls the headpiece over him and immediately is swallowed into the darkness. 

  It turns out being dragged into a virtual reality isn’t a great cure for a hangover. Breaking news. He had no idea what would happen if he threw up in the program but he certainly didn’t want to be the one to find out. Here he was thinking the program is supposed to separate your mind from your body but the unending hangover still clings to him like a leech.

  By now he’s done this so many times that the strange moment between when he enters the world and when he steps onto the island usually feels entirely familiar. However, this time that short moment when he is floating in the void before anything else has loaded in, sends a shiver down his spine. Sending his stomach spinning. It only lasts for the briefest moment, and yet he can feel every single millisecond drawn out for what feels like eternity.

  He so focused on keeping his stomach settled that he barely notices Alter Ego popping up beside him, its gentle hand resting on Hajime's back.

  “Are you okay? I was so worried you were still sick!” Alter Ego’s words fly out of its mouth with an unprecedented speed, like bullets firing from a machine gun. 

  “I’m doing peachy.” He gives a weak thumbs up and he doubles over, his hands on his knees.

  “What happened?!”

  Now he has to explain to the AI that he got black out drunk the night before. Of course the AI is going to judge him…

  “I just - have a bit of a stomach bug. Nothing major, my own fault really. It’ll be fine by the end of the day.” He mutters, keeping his expression as flat as possible. Given he’s in the system itself he has no idea if its even possible to lie to Alter Ego but he’s certainly going to give it his best shot. 

  After a few minutes his stomach slowly begins to settle and the throbbing headache he had grown a little too accustomed to vanishes entirely. You know what, he might just have to stay in here for the rest of the day. 

  Once he’s finally regained the energy to stand upright without wanting to die Alter Ego tentatively approaches him, “Ummm, I noticed your hair has changed…” It gestures up and down dramatically as if Hajime had grown a second head or a third eye.

  “Ah, so it has.”

  He hadn’t even noticed the difference. Reaching up he can feel the same shirt spikey texture. Every strand perfectly mirrors the very cuts Akane had made. Down to the last strand. 

  Now he thinks about it, if his avatar had been uploaded as Hajime how had he appeared as Izuru in the first place? Shouldn't his hair have always appeared this way?

  “How come it changed here?” 

  “Since the program isn’t actually running whenever you enter the program it creates an avatar from your most recent memories.” It makes sense he supposes. Where else would it get his avatar from besides his own head?

  “Ummm…Kyoko mentioned what happened after you left last time.” Alter Ego mumbles cautiously, its hands knotting together in front of him, “She mentioned you weren’t doing to good but that it might be related to the memories.” 

  “Yeah, I think I got my memories back from the time I spent here.” He readjusts his posture, standing up a little straighter.

  At this point there’s no point in trying to hide it. If he wants to get Alter Ego’s help then maybe it would actually help. Besides, this is the whole reason Alter Ego, Kirigiri, and the others are here in the first place. Who would have thought they would have been this successful?

  “Really?! That’s amazing.” Alter Ego claps, beaming the entire time, “What do you need this time then if your memories are all fixed?”

  “I just need to know…” The words catch in his throat as he tries to find the right way to ask them. 

  What can he possibly say without sounding sounding completely naive? 

  “…I just want to ask if there’s a way you can work with me to upload the memories saved here into their bodies.” He hardens his gaze, refusing to break eye contact with Alter Ego. 

  “If I could just upload them then I would have already -”

  “I know, I know.” It’s not like he thought it would be an easy process but still… “What about if I helped alter the pods to jolt their bodies with an electric shock at the same moment as you try to push their memories through. If I could shut down their bodies for a moment and bring them back at the same time as their memories come through maybe it would be enough to shock their body into accepting the memories.” The slightest tinge of hope marrs his voice as he speaks. 

  It is a bit of an archaic idea but maybe it’s just enough to work. Turning things off and on again is statistically the most common solution to most issues. The human body has a surprising way of bouncing back after all. 

  “The problem is the level of trauma they’ve all been through. Their minds and memories might have been saved but that was only after they died. The amount of stress and trauma means it will be difficult to make their minds actually connect to their bodies - their brains truly believe they died. They would have to be somewhat stable for that to work in the slightest.” Alter Ego lowers its head and chews on it bottom lip as if this is somehow bad news. The only thing he hears is that it could work. If they were just able to stabilise their minds then theres a way for this to work. There’s a way for the others to come back.

  “But if we could make them stable?” 

  He can feel his heart thundering in his chest and his arms and legs tingling to the tips of his fingers as if running on nothing but adrenaline. Alter Ego hasn’t even replied and he’s already letting his mind speed ahead. Every possibility is crashing through his mind, no idea too stupid or small to consider.

  But instead of answering Alter Ego narrows his eyes, “Why, do you have an idea?”

  Like a light bulb has gone off in his head he pauses, grinning to himself.

  “I think I might…”  

~~~

06/05 - 10:12

  “I have a plan.” 

  Everyone is gathered in front of him at the dining table, heads hung low as they nurse glasses of water. They’re still in the same clothes from last night, hair rumpled and clothes creased awkwardly. The only person that looks mildly put together is Sonia but even her eyes are bloodshot as she cradles her head gently. 

  Juxtaposed to her is Akane who has completely given up, her head laid on the table. Hair is splayed in front of her mouth and it floats up gently with each of her breaths. It's a miracle it can even move that much when it's knotted and matted together. 

  When he woke them up and dragged them off the couches he offered no explanation - after all it was easier to explain all at once - but their glares now make him regret it. 

  “This better be fucking good.” Fuyuhiko glares at him before digging the heel of his palm into his eye. With his other hand he lets his fingers curl into his hair tightly, as if trying to yank it out.

  “Let him speak.” While still keeping one hand against her temple, Sonia manages to hold out an arm in front of the others. It looks more like she’s trying to hold back a rabble instead of a groggy crowd of young adults.

  He rests his hands on the table in front of him so he can lean forward towards them. “This is going to sound crazy, but I think I can wake up the others.”

  Adrenaline is still coursing through his body at a rapid pace. He wants to scream it out. He wants to shout and cheer and let the whole world know. The others on the other hand…

  “Sure you can.” Fuyuhiko shakes his head slowly, letting his hands hit the table loudly. At least the hangover has seeming burned away in the rage.

  A sea of unimpressed faces. No, not unimpressed - they’re distrusting. Hopeless. After everything he doesn’t blame them. He only knew them for a few weeks in the Neo World whereas the others were all close for years. He already saw how they reacted when Sonia suggested it just a few days ago so he shouldn't be surprises but…

  “Iz-Hajime, they’re brain dead…the others already explained that they’re effectively dead.” Kazuichi lowers his voice to a whisper. Tentatively explaining as if its some forbidden secret.

  “Yeah, you heard ‘em. We can’t just wake ‘em up.” Even Akane uses the big sister voice on him. Much to his surprise she seems to actually be following the conversation somewhat.

  If circumstances were different he would find their lack of faith offensive. His talents stand for nothing…huh? It doesn’t stand for anything to them all at least. 

  “What do you mean, Hajime?” 

  Her arm is still spread out, a shield against her three compatriots, but her other hand has dropped to her side now. Unlike the others, her face is steely. Determined. For the first time in days, she looks like the queen she is. The queen she never was.

  “I know what the others said but they’re not the experts. They might be brain dead for now but all their data is still in the computer. Usami did the only thing she could and saved everyone’s data right before they died so it’s all there and waiting. I just need to jump start their minds and bodies as the system uploads the memories.”  He maintains eye contact with them. Pleading that his confidence will seep through into them.

  While Sonia immediately breaks into a brilliant childish grin, the others look between themselves. They’re all ringing their hands and biting their lips. Both straining to believe and holding themselves back from the edge.

  “How do you know it will work?” Kazuichi's voice hitches ever so slightly. His eyes are swimming with every emotion he’s been holding back. Tittering right on the edge.

   “I am the expert. The others just used the research of ultimate programmer and neurologist but I actually have their talents. I’m certain it will work.” He turn to them each, trying to hammer the point in, “Even if it doesn’t, what's the harm in trying.” 

  “I -” Kazuichi looks down. Every inch of himself tensed until he seems half the size.

  It only looks worse when juxtaposed to Sonia beside him, “They might really wake up…” Despite the sharp angles of her face now, she looks soft and round. Colour and life has flooded back in almost instantaneously.

  At least Fuyuhiko seems to be more closely aligned with Kazuichi's reaction. His expression growing steelier still. His normally rounded cheeks sharper. Tougher. If looks could kill…

  “We've been told they can be brought back before. How do we know this time is any different.” 

  Fuyuhiko… some inexplicable part of him wants to reach forward and rest a hand on the smaller boy’s shoulder but he doesn’t. Not now. Not after everything. That isn’t what he needs right now. 

  “I know you’ve been burnt before but I’m not Junko. She’s proven time and time again that she’s ultimately useless. I’d have no reason to drag her life out any longer.” 

  “That could be a lie.” Fuyuhiko simply glares.

  Hajime’s memories overwhelm him from all sides. He sees the boy who giggled like a school girl. The boy who bled for his friends and redemption multiple times. The boy with the eye patch. The lonely anxious child. The same boy who handed him a shard of their glass.

  Despite everything, when he looks now, that boy from those distant memories is still sat here. Under the bags, and scars, and angles, those chubby rosy cheeks are still there. Those same cheeks that remind him so much of someone else.

  “Then you’re just going to have to trust me Fuyuhiko. I was never under Junko’s influence like you were. She doesn’t have her claws dug in my psyche in any way.”

  But Fuyuhiko’s expression doesn’t give an inch. Has he even blinked? Their gazes have never broken but he’s acutely aware of the other three still crowded around him. Fuyuhiko can’t be unaware either.

  “Akane.” He doesn't move his head but he calls out nonetheless, “What was it you said at the very end?” He asks somewhat uncertainly. Honestly, he still has no idea if she even does remember - it could just be him and Sonia that do, but he risks the question anyway. 

 Something changes in Fuyuhiko’s eyes at that moment. They twitch ever so slightly. It's barely noticeable but he doesn’t miss it.

  “What're you talkin’ about?” Akane finally drags her head up off the table, craning her neck back as far as she can to meet his gaze. 

  “Right before the Neo World Program shut down and we all returned to reality you told me something. I don’t know if you rem-”

  “I said I’d beat the shit out of you if you started talkin’ crazy.” She shoots upright and puffs her chest out at the declaration. Arms fly to her hips and she gives him a shining smirk.

  Still nothing. The darker more impatient part of his mind asks why he’s even trying to reason with Fuyuhiko here. In reality, it’s not even a question. No matter how he feels about the world, those memories from the Neo World program, he can’t be the one to make this choice. A few weeks in the Neo World Program is nothing compared to everything they went through in school - not to mention all the years Fuyuhiko and Peko spent together. If he wants to do this then he has to do it with everyone’s approval. 

  “Do you trust me Fuyuhiko?” 

  Silence.

  Fuyuhiko's soft green eye still doesn’t drift. Hajime gets the distinct impression the boy is trying to read him. Slowly and methodically deciphering every line. He wants to believe there’s still some hope in Fuyuhiko somewhere. Some part of his mind where he can never truly let Peko go. He can still see the last moments Fuyuhiko and Peko shared together in his mind. After listening to how Sonia explained love he struggles to believe Fuyuhiko could ever walk away from this. 

  Sure enough, the smaller boy takes a huge gulp of his water before smashing it back down onto the table with as much force as he can. Him, Akane, Sonia, and Kazuichi all sit there, frozen and silent waiting for Fuyuhiko to finally speak. Hanging off his every word. 

  “What do we have to do then?” Fuyuhiko growls but that doesn’t stop them all from smiling. 

  Hajime wipes the smile off his face and curls his hands into fist, pressing even harder into the table. Now isn’t the time to celebrate - now is the time to get to work.

  Everyone, even Akane, listens with rapt attention as he begins going through all the steps they’re going to need to take to make this work. As he’s explaining Sonia grabs a nearby pencil and sheet of paper, writing out a neat to-do list. 

  1. Modify the pods

  2. Create an AI to assist Alter Ego in stabilising each of them

  3. Finding a way to coordinate with Alter Ego from outside the program

  4. Stopping and then restarting each of their classmates hearts in turn

  It looks so short when they have it written out like this. Just four nice little steps. All so simple. And yet…

  “Okay, how the fuck are we going to do any of this?” Fuyuhiko crosses his arms tightly. 

  “Well Kazuichi can modify the pods and I can build the AI,” The ‘I’ve done it before’ goes unsaid, “but we need someone to deal with coordination and we need people to help actually carry out the process when we do it.”

  “Ah, is that all?” Fuyuhiko scoffs with false bravado but its not fooling anyone in the room. No matter how hard he tries to hide it, they can still make out the rapid pace of his chest rising and falling. Sure, he could pretend his pallid skin is from the hangover but it most certainly wasn’t there a few minutes ago. 

  “That’s all.” He says it as casually as he can because he’s fully aware of how insane this all sounds. 

  For all he knows the second they attempt this it will go horribly wrong and they’ll never be able to fix it. The calculations and logic should settle his dancing stomach but they are doing very little to help. At a certain point he just has to rely on hope. He chuffs to himself - oh if Junko could see them now.

  “I must say that I do not quite understand how this will all work but it is more than we have had so far.” Sonia gives them all an encouraging nod. Her hand is still subconsciously moving up and down the list, as if trying to print every word onto her skin. 

  “Me neither. You and Kazuichi just gotta tell me whatcha need me ta do.” Akane folds her arms and leans back in her chair.

  Realistically he isn’t sure what Akane can do - especially now when she can’t even lift heavy things for them. Regardless he gives her a firm nod. Surely they’ll be able to find something. 

  “I don’t know how much I can really do but I’ll do my best.” He can see Kazuichi’s smile wobble with every word. As he speaks he twists a single lock of hair tightly around his finger, subtly pulling on it. It must be pulled incredibly tightly as the skin around the lock has turned harsh white. 

  “You’re the ultimate mechanic, I’m sure you’ll be able to do it.” They aren’t his most convincing words but for now they will have to do. Knowing Kazuichi the only way he’ll be truly convinced is when he begins pulling it apart himself and gets lost in the moment. Hajime’s job is just to bring him to the machines to get started. 

  All of them - even Fuyuhiko - happily sit there, divvying up the roles between them as they decide what needs to be done and when it needs to be done. Sonia agrees to coordinate with Alter Ego since, after him and Kazuichi, she is probably the best with computers. It turns out the Novoselic royal curriculum covers almost everything under the sun. Before they’ve even set off to start working she’s already started coming up with a laundry list of ideas in her little notebook. 

  Although Hajime offers to be the one dealing with killing and reviving their classmates - how could he ask anyone else to push the button - Akane steps forward, volunteering herself. Should he have shut her down? Maybe. But instead he notes her name down beside his own. He could refuse but it is probably better for two of them to do it so he keeps his mouth shut. They’ll cross that bridge when they come to it. 

  Without much else to do, Fuyuhiko agrees to work as an assistant for Kazuichi. It might be grunt work but he doesn’t seem all that bothered by the thought. Grunt work is still work after all.

  “So when are we supposed to start?” Sonia asks as she gently tucks her pen behind her ear. Pinning her hair back with it haphazardly so strands stick awkwardly out place.

  “The sooner the better, right?” Kazuichi clears his throat, straightening up clenching his jaw tightly. 

  Given how long they have already been ‘dead’ it probably is best they sort it out as soon as possible. If they’re already unstable when they die then how bad would it get after a few days or weeks? But is it really fair for him to put all this pressure on everyone? He’s already been pushing some of them into this. What if the added pressure only makes them work less effectively?

  No, if they’re going to do this and be successful then he needs to be honest. There will be time to worry about these guys when they’ve sorted out their sleeping classmates. 

  “Yes. The longer they’re in that state, the harder it will become.” 

  Sonia tentatively raises her hand like they actually are in a classroom, “I know we probably do not want to be thinking about this but: who should we be waking first?” 

  Sucking in a deep breath, he looks around the table. His eyes catch on Fuyuhiko who is biting his lip, head turned to one side to study the inside of his now empty glass. It must be taking everything he has to stay quiet. Peko. Gundham. Nekomaru. Mahiru. Ibuki. The names flash through his mind relentlessly. But no matter what anyone wants he can’t pick and choose, there is only one logical and fair choice. 

  “We should wake up Bya - I mean, the Ultimate Imposter first.” He answers firmly, leaving no room for argument. 

  He half expects someone to speak up and try to change his mind but instead they all nod. Not one of them even shows the slightest hint of resentment. Of course they wouldn’t, they were their friend too. No matter who they wake up, its still going to be one of their friends. 

  “That makes sense. They were the first one to die right? That means them and Teruteru have been in that state for the longest so they need to be brought back the fastest.” Kazuichi mumbles, leaning back in his chair until the front two legs are lifted off the ground and he is resting all his weight on the back two. 

  “Well, if that’s sorted I’m goin’ ta bed. I’m gonna need energy for the upcomin’ battle. Come get me when ya ready..” Akane yawns softly, stretching her arms up. As she slides out from her chair she offers them a toothy grin and begins hobbling back to her room, walker once again in hand. 

  Almost as if she’s running after the gymnast, Sonia jumps up from her chair and runs across the kitchen to grab an apple from a fruit bowl on the counter, “Before you head to bed take one of these. As you said, we need you at full power for the next few days and perish the thought we eat them all before you had a chance to have one.” 

  Although she frames it as an offer she doesn’t give Akane any chances to refuse. Before she can even get a word out Sonia has thrown the apple across the room. Fortunately either luck or reflexes kick in just in time to save Akane from getting pelted right in the middle of her face. 

  “M‘kay, thanks.” Akane tilts her head slowly but keeps a tight hold of the apple anyway. It’s progress…progress… 

  Although they all go back to finalising ideas as Akane shuffles away, each and every one of them refuse to turn away until the door has sealed behind her. 

  Without having her directly in his line of sight he can feel his stomach drop slightly but he does his best to pull himself together. Her wanting to go to sleep and taking the apple are good signs - she needs to be looking after herself and she had been exhausted yesterday even before the drinking began. 

  Rubbing his face, Kazuichi is the next one to get up. He stretches wide and runs his hands through his hair one last time before speaking, “Well, if time is important then I’ll grab my stuff now. I can start seeing what I can do.” Walking around the table he grabs onto the back of Fuyuhiko’s shirt and drags him up, “You can help me bring stuff.”

  “Fine, fine. You don’t need to drag me along fuck-face.” Fuyuhiko slaps Kazuichi’s hands away and straightens his collar but follows Kazuichi along anyway.

  With all the others gone, Sonia and Hajime gather up the papers and stock up on some snacks. The kitchen is barely even a stones throw away but there’s no harm in coming prepared with food - especially when they’re all still nursing churning stomachs. Sonia helps stack his arms up with any food that doesn’t need to be prepared and they make the short trek across the hall.

  As they wait for Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi to reappear they drag an extra chair over to the desk, setting up their work station with snacks coating the desk completely. Okay, maybe it was a little much but knowing Sonia and Kazuichi’s work ethic when they get in the zone he wouldn’t be surprised if the inside of this room soon becomes very familiar. 

  Once the snacks have been ‘appropriately’ laid out, they finally take their seats behind the computer, once again staring into the bright flashing lines of code currently being monitored on the screen.

  Sonia is resting her head in her hands, leaning over the keyboard quietly. Every ounce of energy drained out of her at once.

  “Are you okay Sonia?” He tentatively taps her back in what he hopes is a soothing way, “You don’t need to be here right now. You can take a nap and I’ll get you when you can start working.” 

  “No, it is fine. I just forgot how painful computers can be on the eyes. My headache does not appreciate it very much.” She tries to wave it off casually but unfortunately he knows her too well by now. 

  But before he can drag her away from the desk, a figure comes running past, almost missing the doorway and slamming into the frame. Sonia jumps, almost knocking the chair backwards as she guards against their newest intruder. However, in less than a second both her and Hajime relax. Raising their eyebrows as none other than Naegi himself stumbles into the room. He bends over, resting his hands on his knees, as he pants loudly.  

  “Ah, you’re here. I was just coming to speak to you.” He just about manages to say the words between heavy breaths. Even from across the room Hajime can see the thin layer or sweat that’s coating his exposed skin. 

  He shares a tense look with Sonia, both of them stiffening uncomfortably at Naegi’s appearance. Sure, he might not be the biggest fan of the guy and he normally wouldn’t care that much about him being around, but this time its different. If this somehow manages to be good news then he’ll eat his own shirt. Naegi isn’t exactly the type to go racing around the facility for no reason. 

  “What is wrong? Are the future foundation on their way?” Sonia clings to the edge of the desk, her knuckles turning white as she squeezes the life out of it. He wishes he could write it off as nothing but her over analysing, but… 

  “Not quite but it's related to that. Where are the others? I need to speak to everyone.” Naegi barely even looks at them, instead searching the room as if Akane, Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi are just hiding under the furniture waiting to jump out at him. 

  “Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko will be here soon. Akane is resting in bed and it’s probably not a good idea to wake her up again.”

  “That’s okay. You can explain the situation later when she’s awake.” Naegi nods and that seems to be enough to settle his breathing ever so slightly. 

  However, even as they wait patiently for the others to finish whatever they are doing in Kazuichi’s room (I mean, how long does it take to grab some tools and materials?), Naegi refuses to sit down or rest. Instead he paces back and forth slowly. Even though before her head had been dropping, now Sonia is sat up fully alert, carefully observing every single step Naegi takes. Between the two of them it's an absolute relief when Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko finally decide to grace them with their presence once more.

  Both of them are carrying large cardboard boxes which jingle and rattle with every step. Have they just settled on bringing every single scrap of metal from the rooms? He must say, the wait wasn’t worth it. 

  “Hey guys, I wasn’t sure what -” Kazuichi saunters in until he finally catches sight of Naegi pacing awkwardly. At once he stops in his tracks, staring as if he had stumbled upon a dead body, “Ummmm…Naegi?”

  “What the fuck are you doing here?! Did something happen?” Fuyuhiko slams the box down, scowling at Naegi as if whatever is going on is somehow his fault specifically. 

  Both of them slowly creep towards him and Sonia by sticking to the wall, putting as much space between them and Naegi as is physically possible. If you accidentally stumbled upon the room you wouldn’t be crazy to assume Naegi was infected with some deadly contagious disease. 

  “He has not told us yet.” Sonia mutters as Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko join them in their secluded corner of the room. 

  They must look an absolute state right now, huddled together like children with bloodshot eyes, day old clothes and haggard faces. A far cry from the formidable faces they’d been just a few weeks ago. 

  “I’m sorry, I just wanted everyone to be here for the conversation.”

  Patience rapidly running out, Hajime spits out the question they’ve all been demanding the answer to, “What happened?”

  Before Naegi can even answer his mind has already run through a million ideas. Maybe it’s not what they’re all expecting, perhaps something is going on out in the wider world. Who knows maybe they’ve just been cut off from their supply of spices. Why does it have to be bad news? It’s a stupid question of course but just for a few seconds he’s allowed to indulge in those thoughts. 

  Of course, it could never be that easy though. 

  “The future foundation has made it’s move. They’ve called for a trial -” Naegi can’t finish his sentence before Fuyuhiko steps forwards, forming a wall between them and Naegi. He has no idea what Fuyuhiko thinks he’s going to accomplish but he can’t exactly blame him. 

  “Well we’re not fucking going! They’re just going to find us guilty and kill us.” Fuyuhiko shouts over Naegi, spitting the words across the room at the younger boy. 

  He wants to disagree but they already know exactly how the organisation functions. They’ve been out for blood for years now, they won’t pull back at the last second. Blood is in the water and the sharks are circling. ‘Fair trial’ isn’t exactly in their repitoire. Besides, even if it was a fair trial would thar change anything? They really did do all those things that they're being accused of. 

  However, much to his surprise, Naegi shakes his head and waves his hands frantically, “No, no! Not for you guys. They’ve demanded I stand trial for going against the organisations orders.”

  “You? Wh…I don’t…but that makes no sense.” Kazuichi splutters, blinking rapidly. 

  No sense? Not quite. While he never actually infiltrated the organisation himself he didn’t need to to know personal loyalty isn’t one of their mottos. 

  “No, it does. They’ve never really liked me and this is their chance to try and deal with me. It makes sense.” Naegi mumbles, scratching the back of his neck as if he had merely been called into the head masters office. He does realise what the stakes are if they actually do choose to arrest him, right? It’s not like he has had the highest opinion of the ‘ultimate hopes’ intelligence but this would be a whole new low. Hope and trust is one thing, but at what point does it become outright naevity? Even that word is too generous. 

  Hajime slowly gets up off his chair, gently pushing Fuyuhiko to one side so he can properly address Naegi, “Well what are you going to do? You’re not going to let them arrest you or kill you.” He folds his arms tightly, doing his best to supress a scowl.

  If it was just Naegi’s life and well being on the line then that would be one thing - after all, you can’t control what someone wants to do with their own life - but all of them rely on him too. They might not admit it but he’s almost certain that Naegi’s classmates rely on him just as much. Surely it is far dumber to just lay down on the wire and take what is dished out. 

  “I’m not too sure yet. I’m not just going to let them arrest me for no reason but I haven’t figured out the best plan yet. I am - no, we are - going to leave now though. The longer we stay here and ignore them, the bigger the chance that they’re going to get impatient and storm this place themselves. If we leave and enter discussions then we can probably stall them for a few days or weeks, depending on how lucky we are.” 

  He wants to disagree. He wants to tell Naegi this is all absolutely stupid but how can he? Short of actually taking down the organisation - he has a sneaking suspicion that’s not an option for these guys - there isn’t much more that can be done. Nothing that will please both parties at least. So they’re all just going to have to sit here and pray that the foundation isn’t feeling particularly blood thirsty at the moment. That sounds…safe… 

  “But they will still eventually come for us.” Kazuichi finishes the thought succinctly. It’s not exactly new information, they knew this from day one, but having it finally placed on a timeline feels somewhat different. He can finally see the guillotine hanging over each of their necks. 

  “Yes. If they’ve issued this arrest warrant then its clear they’re getting impatient. Sooner or later they will be coming for you guys. I can delay them but not stop them.”

  “Of course…” He doesn’t even need to be looking at Fuyuhiko to be able to hear the eye roll. 

  “Look, we all caught snippets of what you guys are planning. You deserve a chance to get to save your classmates. If I -” For the first time since that first killing game Hajime gets a glimpse behind the smiling mask of hope. Regret and grief and even maybe a little bit of despair clings to him like a ghost. Wrapping itself around him tightly. Even the ‘ultimate hope’ is not completely immune it seems.

  But within a second it has been brushed away. Once more the firm and smiling has been pulled back on. The shadows and darkness are chased away. No, not quite…they still lie there, patiently waiting beneath the surface.

  “We will do everything in our power to draw their attention away for as long as possible but the sooner you can get it done the better.” Naegi keeps his smile strong the entire time. Pure hope personified once again. It’s surprisingly sickening. 

  For as long as possible. They’d have to be insanely lucky to even be able to get a few days out of this insane gambit. He finds himself bringing up the image of Nagito. They could really do with some of his messed up luck right now, he mutters to himself. According to Hopes Peak he should have been given the very same talent as the boy but it certainly hasn’t felt that way. Maybe just this once though… They deserve it this one time. 

  Examining the faces of his friends around him, he’s not greeted by the same kind of desperate hope though. The desperation maybe but nothing else. Fear running hot through each and every one of them. Any kind of positivity they were feeling just a few minutes ago as they came in here has been promptly washed away. 

  “How the hell are we supposed to know if something goes wrong though?!” Fuyuhiko growls, his already sickly pale skin only getting lighter and lighter. Even his usually bright flushed cheeks have been successfully drained, leaving nothing but grey and white behind. 

  “We have arranged for the doctors who were working with us before to return. If anything happens or if they arrest me then Kyoko has ways of secretly contacting those doctors. They will let you know if you need to leave this place but unless you hear anything it is probably safer to stay here.”

  He can feel his heart beat steadily growing faster and faster but he resolves himself. Softly evening out his breathing as much as possible. Just like before they’re just going to be sitting here. There’s nothing they can do. Their entires lives and futures sitting in the palm of Naegi and the others. It’s not like he felt free here but at least for a little while he could pretend they had some say in what happened. It was just a pipe dream though. 

  Ripples of discontent and terror move through the room like a plague. It’s not just Fuyuhiko, Kazuichi’s leg bounces loudly as he hisses at Naegi, “And just wait like sitting ducks?”

  “They have eyes everywhere. It’s better to be here where we can hide you rather than out there where you could accidentally stumble into their hands.” He doesn’t miss the way Naegi’s voice slows and lowers, as if he was pleading with toddlers rather than fully developed adults. But before Hajime can get too angry, Naegi throws something small and white at him without any warning, “Take this, it will give you access to the rest of the building in case you need to leave or find any other supplies.” 

  He turns the small card over in his hand as delicately as he can manage as if a single wrong touch will suddenly cause it to explode. Of course, it’s not like they even really need it - not when they have tools - but the gesture sends a shot of warmth through him anyway. They all know its more symbolic than anything else. 

  “Thank you...” Sonia mumbles weakly. The words are so soft that he’s not even sure if Naegi can hear them. 

  “I know we have put you on a time crunch here but I am certain you’ll be able to help your friends. Don’t lose hope because of this, we’re all fighting for you even if it doesn’t always seem like it.” Naegi stands tall but Hajime doesn’t miss the way he glances over at each of the pods in turn. 

  He wants to not believe the boy but he simply can’t sense any dishonestly. He’s almost too pure. When he’d first woken up he hadn’t quite understood how this boy had taken down Junko but he gets it now. 

  “I doubt this will mean much to you of all people, but I believe in you too. If anyone can make them see sense it is probably you.” Hajime thinks back on the everything that happened in that first killing game. The way Naegi had managed to wrangle everyone - even Togami and Fukawa - under one banner. At this point it would probably be dumber for him not to put some faith in the guy. At least a little. 

  “Ka - Hinata…” 

  He quickly raises a hand cutting Naegi off, “It’s not a compliment. It’s an observation. Look at everything you’ve already done. I doubt the future foundation can be reasoned with but if anyone could it would probably be you.”

  “Thank you. It seems we’ll both need all the luck we can get.” 

  It’s only then that Hajime remembers he too had once been known as the ultimate lucky student just like Nagito and supposedly himself. By now he doesn’t underestimate the power of luck, let’s just hope that Hope’s Peak was right giving him that title.

  None of them say anything more as Naegi vanishes, probably slipping away down the sealed stairway. In fact they don’t even speak after the sounds of his footsteps have long since faded away. Instead they all tense and dive straight into their work. No one is sleeping tonight. 

Chapter Text

07/05 - 10:41

  Yawning, Hajime rubs his eyes, stretching his arms out as far as he can while staying rooted into his chair. The myth about getting square eyes from staring at a screen might not be real but his headache most certainly is. The desk is covered in wrappers and crumbs, slowly eating away at more and more of his work space. Even so he does nothing to clear them away. Is there a point in trying?

  After their discussion everyone had stuck around like a foul odor. Even Akane had stumbled back over after an hour or so ago, somehow looking ten times more rested and more exhausted than everyone else in the room simultaneously. He isn’t exactly surprised but having all four of them drifting about isn't as helpful as they seem to think. Hours had gone by and not one of them dared leave for sleep, food, or even the toilet. Turns out it was a smart idea for Sonia and him to get all stocked up after all. 

  To their credit, they keep their distance - or as much as is possible in the limited space. Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko have stuck to their little corner as they tear apart what had once been Kazuichi's chamber. As usual their mess hasn’t exactly been contained as it slowly creeps further and further out. An encroaching storm which somehow creeps closer every time he looks away. However, when judging it by Kazuichi's normal standards it could be worse. People can still move around the room at least which is a start.

  Akane and Sonia on the other hand have been trapped, slowly dying of boredom. It’s not like there’s any space around the chamber for them to get involved and he’s been hogging the computer for hours now. Without any place to be they both crashed out, legs pressed together and backs against Nekomaru's chamber. Wires just barely hover above their heads and small scraps of metal and plastic surround them but they stay unmoving. Sonia’s head has lolled sightly as her eyelids flutter closed, resting against Akane’s shoulder. So familiar and new at the same time.

   A smile crooks on his lips but he makes sure to look back down at the computer before any of them can notice. Okay, maybe it’s not so bad having them hanging around here.

  He shakes his head, going back to work. He needs to do this. The methodical and repetitive work is a pain in his ass but it will be worth it. It will be worth it. Seeing Akane and Sonia sat there together only reinforces that.

  “Should we wake her up?” Fuyuhiko leans forward, craning his neck to look around the chambers at both her and Akane.

  “I’m still awake.” He doesn’t think her groan is as convincing as she thinks it is though. Thankfully she has Akane next to her, ready to smooth down her mildly rumpled hair.

  The back of Sonia's hand rubs against her still closed eyes. She seems to shy away from the light and the rest of the world. Sleep still clings to her tightly.

  At least it does for a few seconds until a shout bellows across the room, “Ha! I've got it!” Kazuichi cackles with the kind of insanity that comes with hours of sleep deprivation. As he cries out his arms go flying into the air, narrowly avoiding smacking Fuyuhiko in the head with a wrench. Knowing Kazuichi it’s impossible to tell whether he simply forgot he was holding it or if he just forgot other people were around.

  “Stop waving that thing everywhere. You’re gonna fucking kill someone!” Fuyuhiko instantly stills Kazuichi's arm, clamping down on his wrist with an iron grip.

  No one else gives it a second thought though. Instead they both launch themselves forwards, trying to get a better look. Closing in on Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi without missing a beat.

  “You did it?!” Sonia gasps, eyes wide and alert instantaneously.

  Akane claps him on the back sending him jolting forwards, “Way to go!”

  “We haven’t tested it yet but it should work.” Kazuichi's voice might sound firm and unwavering but Hajime doesn’t miss the way he pulls at his nails. 

  “Take the win.” Fuyuhiko chuffs, offering a small smile.

  “Yeah. Now we need to start working on the actual machines.” 

  Starting with the nearest machine, they get to work. Fuyuhiko sat cross legged on the floor with Kazuichi as Akane and Sonia hover around them. Each one ready to pounce as soon as Kazuichi asks for help. 

  He can’t help but feel a little jealous as he sits off on the corner away from everyone else. They aren’t even talking to each other and yet there's something enviable about the fluid way they move around each other. All four people working toward a common goal.

  He shakes his head and drags his attention back to this computer. This AI needs to be sorted as soon as possible. Even if they get all the chambers modified it will mean nothing if he hasn’t done his job.

  Focusing in, he shuts himself off from everything else. He has certainly made progress over the last few hours but even using a base it is taking longer than he would like given the time frame they have. It’s not like he can take shortcuts though - not when he’s going to be uploading this into his friends consciousnesses to stabilise them. While he is most certainly not trying to repeat the Junko fiasco, using a base framework is as close to a short cut as he has.

  Unlike last time there wasn’t a required person to build off of so he chose the only person that would make sense: himself. Who better to take on whatever the Neo World Program can throw at him than him? Besides, with the Neo World Program here, he has direct access to his own consciousness which isn’t at all weird to think about…

  Like a switch has been flicked in his brain he finds himself being drawn deeper and deeper into his world until everything in the room around him has drifted out of focus. Does an hour pass? Does two? He no longer has to put effort in to try and distract himself from Kazuichi and the others. All that exists is code. Only as he puts the finishing touches on the AI does he finally lean back in his chair, allowing more of the world to come into focus. 

  As he blinks away the blurriness he finds his head spins uncomfortably. Even as he reaches across the desk for the USB drive he sees non existent code floating around in the air. Okay, he might have spent too long working on this now… Nevertheless he holds the USB tighter, he can deal with his brain another time.

  But before he actually plugs it in he pauses. This is the same drive he had used last time… Of course Alter Ego had been clear that the previous AI had been completely destroyed - it had already check the device over a thousand times - and yet a lump still rises in his throat. What would the other say if they knew he still had this? Let alone what they would think of him using it now. Good thing they aren’t going to know, he mumbles to himself as he finally commits. The USB stick slides in with ease and just like that, it’s done. 

  He makes sure to check the AI is fully installed again and again and again. You can never be too safe. Imagine going through all this work just to fail at the last hurdle. 

  When he finally removes the fully completed drive he cradles it his hands with all the tenderness he can muster. Around him he’s faintly aware of the others still huddled together, surrounded by chaos, but he walks past them without a second look. His cross hairs are aimed on the spot beside his pod, nothing else in the world matters except this one thing. 

  In the chaos and desperation of everything not one of them have bothered updating Alter Ego but he hopes receiving the input from the same spot as last time will be enough of a sign for the other AI - it’s not like it will a complete surprise after all. Let's just hope it's smart enough to put the pieces together.

  “You okay?” A voice mutters as a hand suddenly rests on his shoulder, snapping him back to the world around him. The voice alone is enough to tell him it's Akane and yet her voice sounds different. Tender. Or at least as tender as it can be coming from Akane. It's only with the weight of her hand that he notices her at all…was he really that far gone?

  “Hm?” He frowns, shaking his head clear, “Oh, yeah.”

  “You sure, you looked like you were sleep walkin’ or somethin’.” 

  His hands tighten into fists, “I just finished the AI, it’s been installed now.”

  Silence crackles across the room. No one dares even breathe. Even Kazuichi has stopped working for a brief moment, even if he doesn't look up. 

  “Already?” Fuyuhiko is the first one to break the silence. 

  “Woah, I thought you were gonna be at that for days!” Akane grins, shaking his shoulder vigorously until his brain has been thoroughly crushed against his skull. 

  “I’ve had experience and I used a base so it wasn’t too bad.” He tries to explain it as simply as he can. It’s not like there’s any point in getting into details. 

  “Either way that’s fucking amazing!” 

  He finally fully takes in the room around him. Not much has really changed in the last few hours. They seem to have moved on to the next chamber though, their materials slowly migrating over bit by bit. Slow work, but seeing any progress feels like a victory at this point. 

  “I think we all deserve a break at this point!” Sonia claps her hands gently, calmly commanding attention from everyone around her. 

  He wants to disagree, they’re making such good progress, but his stomach decides to be a traitor. Without any warning it begins growling angrily, not leaving any room for misinterpretation. 

  “I get what you’re saying Sonia but -” Fuyuhiko tries to make an argument but it appears Sonia wasn’t asking.

  “Come, we ran out of food a while ago now.” She skips over, linking her arms through Akane and Hajime's until they’re locked in place.

  “Sonia -” Akane tries to wriggle free but it only makes Sonia tug harder. 

  “No.” She chides them with a firm but warm voice, “If we all burn out then we will be less effective workers. If we want to do our best then we must take care of ourselves.”

  And that is the last say anyone gets in the conversation. 

~~~

07/05 - 21:56

  “What would people like to eat?” Sonia hums as she potters about the room, thoroughly scouting every surface and cupboard.

  “At this point I’ll take anything.” Fuyuhiko grumbles, laying his head on the table.

  No matter how much Fuyuhiko had tried he couldn’t escape Sonia’s grasp. It seems by now he’s just decided to accept his fate. The only one she allowed to stay behind was Kazuichi - his persuasive argument about their friends being the deciding factor. Hajime suspects she hasn’t quite given up yet though 

  Sonia doesn’t need any more prompting than that before she’s begun fixing up some tea for everyone, humming peacefully the entire time. Thankfully the gods are with them today as she refrains from cooking, just throwing some more snacks their way instead. Although it’s mostly fruit and cookies, she has somehow located a hidden stash of mochi that are evenly distributed between them. 

  Elegance isn’t ever the sort of thing he considers when eating but this time any semblance of that goes out of the window as he practically swallows his food whole. At his side Akane is still barely nibbling on her mochi and Fuyuhiko is playing with his food but he doesn’t have the energy to worry about being self conscious. 

  Only once he’s finished his food does he finally start talking to break up the quiet, “How much progress did you make then?” 

  “We finished modifying Hiyoko’s chamber and we have made good progress on Nekomaru’s.” Sonia explains patiently between sips of tea.

  Looking at the time now that must mean they’ve spent about about six hours on each one, which would mean it’ll take another forty eight hours to get each one done without a break. Given what they’re doing that should be impressive but he can’t help but feel somewhat disappointed. Every second that passes is a second wasted. 

  “It’s taking ages and were really not helping.” Fuyuhiko sighs deeply, still spinning his apple about on the table. 

  “Well it's better than sittin’ here and doin’ nothin’.” Akane subtly shoves her mochi to one side, leaning back in her chair casually until only two legs remain on the ground.

  “Akane has a point. As long as we are making progress we should be happy.”

  Happy? Is that really good enough? 

  If only they had more hands to help. Even if he helps then between them that’s still twenty four hours. 

  Wait a second…

  “Actually, I might have an idea, come with me.” 

  Despite how appealing the food had been before, he wastes no time jumping out of his chair and running back over to Kazuichi. Distantly behind him he can hear the others slowly making their way over, all of their arms overflowing with snacks.

  “Kazuichi, can I get a look at that?” He peers over Kazuichi’s shoulder cautiously. 

  “Um, sure.” Kazuichi mumbles blearily. 

  Not wasting a second he drinks in all the information he can, studying every modification Kazuichi has made. He might as well just be downloading it straight into his mind. Even as he watches, Kazuichi's hands never stop moving. 

  “What’s goin’ on?” Akane grumbles as she sets the food down on the desk with the others.

  “I’m going to teach you all how to modify the chambers. That way we'll have more people working and we'll be finished sooner.” He explains with a firm and steady voice. 

  Fuyuhiko, Akane, and Sonia all stare at him with their mouths wide open. Not a single shred of belief in any of them.

  “This isn’t a good idea. We're going to screw it up.” Fuyuhiko waves his arms vigorously but if he thinks that’s going to dissuade Hajime then he's wrong.

  “With that attitude you are.”

  Rolling up his sleeves he sits himself in front of the furthest machine from Kazuichi, Ibuki's machine. There’s no way to stop them from being loud and distracting but hopefully if they’re as far as possible it’ll be somewhat okay. It’s the most they can do. 

  Despite their complaints, each of them trail after him, crowding around as he sits cross-legged in front of the machine. There aren’t a huge amount of tools in this place but he managed to get a hammer and screwdriver from Kazuichi's pile at least. 

  “Are you sure this is a good idea, Hajime?” Sonia mumbles as she fiddles with her hands in her lap.

  “I’m sure. Kazuichi has already done all the hard work, you just need to remember the steps.”

  They’re all still frowning but not one of them makes another complaint. Instead they all watch with rapt attention, Sonia bringing out her notebook and pen once more.

  He does his best to break down each step as easily as he can, simplifying the process as much as possible. After every explanation and demonstration he has them take turns in front of the machine as he corrects their movements. It’s not fast work but he would be lying if he said there was no progress made.

  Unsurprisingly Sonia seems to click with the concept much faster than the others. Machines are like second nature to her. Her hands fly across the wires with ease, connecting everything without a second thought. 

  Fuyuhiko and Akane on the other hand aren’t quite…naturals.

  “This is a stupid idea.” Fuyuhiko growls again like a toddler having a tantrum, “How the fuck are you supposed to connect these damn wires again?!” 

  Over the last few hours his face has slowly become more and more red. Even his veins are beginning to pop. 

  “Here, like this.” Sonia gently takes the wires from him, connecting them with ease. 

  Akane leans in close as they both watch Sonia do her best to break the steps down to Fuyuhiko, “Were doin’ shit at this, ain’t we?” She whispers under her breath.

  He folds his arms, his brow tensing, “You and Fuyuhiko are at least.” That’s enough to make Akane crack a laugh.

  “Your wastin’ your time here. We should be gettin’ on with other stuff.”

  “No, we’re making progress. I’m certain Sonia will be able to do this.” He nods resolutely. 

  He’s under no illusions about Fuyuhiko and Akane’s talents but if at least Sonia can grasp this then there will be three of them to spread the work between. Forty eight hours can basically become sixteen. If anything is worth it then that is.

  Although he gives it his best shot, by the time they’ve finished Ibuki's machine Fuyuhiko and Akane are still no where near as confident as he needs them to be. Putting them in front of one of these on their own might just send them over the edge. 

  Sonia on the other hand, “I thought this would be more difficult. It truly is as you said, Kazuichi had done the hard work for us.” She never once stops beaming. 

  For once her perfect hair has been well and truly messed up. Smatterings of oil and grease speckle her hair and grime is streaked down her face. Nevertheless she looks in no hurry to sort herself out. He can’t tell if she simply hasn’t notice or if she couldn’t care less. 

  “Speak for yourself.” Fuyuhiko folds his arms and frowns grouchily.

  “Sonia, I think you’ve gotten the hang of this by now.” He rests a hand on her shoulder encouragingly which causes her to swell up with pride.

  “You think so!”

  “Of course. All three of you should work together on one of the other machines, that way Akane and Fuyuhiko can support you.”

  They could sit Akane and Fuyuhiko's support between everyone but realistically him and Kazuichi can both work perfectly well on their own. Even if Sonia did do well, what’s the harm in giving her a bit more support? Just in case…

  “I will do my best.” 

  He quickly points her towards two of the other machines to one side. As they had been working Kazuichi had finished up Nekomaru's and moved onto Mahiru's meaning now there’s basically only six machines left at this point (discounting Ibuki's and Mahiru's, assuming it’s basically done). With such a small number left they can all take two and they'll be done before they know it. He gives himself the two nearest ones, Nagito and Gundham while they take on Peko and Mikan. That leaves Kazuichi with Teruteru and the Ultimate Imposter - once he properly finishes Mahiru's anyway.

  Each of them filter away to their spots, silence falling upon the room. Tension has never been higher but that’s not going to stop him from doing the best work he can. Every muscle in his body is crying out for sleep but pure adrenaline is coursing through his blood stream. 

  Two more machines...

Chapter Text

08/05 - 03:42

  Night comes and goes in a blink. While he’s trapped behind the computer, Sonia, Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi have slowly begun spreading across the room. One by one by one by one the chambers are altered until they're down to their last two. Nagito and Peko lay before them both as still as the rest of the class. It doesn't quite click for him that these are the last two left to do. The finish line is right there in front of them when it had felt miles away just the day before. To think all it took was two sleepless nights to get all of this sorted…

  As they whittled it down to the last few people Fuyuhiko had shifted over to assist Kazuichi, keeping up their already comfortable working pattern. With Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko tackling Peko’s pod, Sonia and Akane had joined him to finish up Nagito. He does his best to find ways for them to get involved so they’re doing something other than hovering over him, staring at his every movement. 

  And yet, even as he attaches the last piece to Nagito's head piece, it feels like a marathon awaits. His idle hands now drop back to his side as he steps back and admires their handiwork. Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko are completely absorbed in their work beside him, not even looking up for a second. 

  However, Sonia and Akane have no such reservations. Like hawks, they immediately look up as he steps away. Their expectation heavy with every look.

  "Are you done?" Sonia asks, her voice rising energetically. 

  Before he's even spoken she's jumped up to peer into Nagito's chamber. Akane isn't so quick on the draw but she eventually trails behind Sonia. Her hands clench around the edge of the chamber as she rests all her weight against it. She’s only been getting slower and slower as the hours pass by. Her once dexterous and precise hands fumbling with every wire and bolt until it was just safer to keep her far far away.

  Hajime swallows down the lump now lodged in his throat. It's done. It's done. It's done. He doesn't doubt his own abilities - how could he - but to have the end so very close…

  "Are you nearly done too Kazuichi?" Sonia's chirp snaps him back to reality.

  She's skipped away from Nagito with ease to brush the hair out of Peko's face. Every inch of her face is flushed and alive despite the growing bags lining her eyes. Is it possible for a smile to be larger than that? The thought scares him.

  Kazuichi doesn't say anything as he bites the inside of his cheek. His hands stay steady as he methodically works through the process Hajime had taught him. If Hajime didn't know better he'd think Kazuichi didn't know Sonia even existed. It doesn't appear to matter to Sonia though who stays right by Peko’s side until Kazuichi finally falls still and steps away.

  "Not yet but it shouldn’t be too long though.” Even now he doesn't look up to meet Hajime’s eyes, his hands never once stopping moving. 

  Part of him wants to jump in to offer any kind of help, but he holds himself back. More hands aren’t the solution to every problem. Too many cooks in the kitchen and all that… For now it will be faster if they just give the mechanic some space. 

  "We’re almost there…?" Akane mumbles feverishly. Her eyes have grown glassy as she stares down at Nagito beneath her. 

  "Yes…we are." He mumbles, blinking rapidly. 

  The announcement should feel like a celebration. A victory cry. And yet he feels sick to his stomach. Every time he closes his eyes he half expects to wake up in his bed again but then his eyes open he’s still here seeing everything. Is it really not some kind of messed up dream? Is it truly happening?!

  “Look, this isn’t the end of this, is it? We still need the AI to do it’s thing right?” Fuyuhiko hums, still clenching a screwdriver in one hand. He gently taps it against his palm, subconsciously bouncing it up and down as he gnaws on his lips.

  He nods curtly, “They still need to be stabilised before they can be uploaded and we can start our recovery attempts.”

  “Well then why don’t you start that now? It will probably take a few hours anyway and even if it doesn’t we still have to sort out Byakuya, Teruteru and Mahiru before we bring Peko back. Might as well get started now. I’m sure we will have finished before Peko is up.” Fuyuhiko hisses every word, forcing them out past his gritted teeth. His eyes are locked on Peko the entire time. Drinking in the very sight of her. No matter how he tries to hide it, there’s no disguising the unwanted hope lacing his eyes.

  "Yeah, Hajime’ll get it done as soon as he can! A few more hours or days won't matter!" Akane tries to force a smile but it looks more like a grimace when she’s bent over the chamber, green light illuminating her face. 

  The suggestion has him pausing, thinking over the data they have available. Alter Ego did say they still had the original memories that were uploaded into the program before any alterations. Everything is there but should they really use it? 

  Looking at everyone now, it’s hard to even force himself to breathe. The original plan had been to rewrite those memories from before all this…but now they might actually be able to do it. During the final class trial within the program they'd all wished for this choice. The chance to forget everything that had brought them to this very spot. Is he allowed to make that choice for them though?

  He might not be able to but… 

  "I actually want to ask you all something. When I go in and upload the memories should I just add them as they are from the Neo World or should the entire original memory - including those from Hopes Peak Academy and beyond - be added?" He subconsciously chews the inside of his cheek. Sucking in a long shivering breath as he studies everyone diligently.

  Sure enough they’re all frozen in their tracks. He can hear their nervous shifting and the quiet taps of their feet against the hard floor. 

  "I don't-" Kazuichi stands up stiffly. Finally actually looking at him as his breaths fall still in his chest. Hajime can see the sharp edges of his elbows and shoulders as the tension steadily grows and grows.

  But in the end it’s Akane’s sharp and firm voice that pierces through the room, "They should have their memories of it all." At once everyone turns towards her in unison, their gazes magnetically drawn as if with a mind of their own. 

  "What do you mean?" Sonia practically gasps the words. Her head reeling back as her arms wrap tightly around herself as if fighting to keep herself together. 

  "I meant what I said."

  Akane finally looks up, arms folded stiffly. She looks almost mature with her stern gaze and voice. At least she would if he already didn't know her.

  "Are you sure? Would they want to remember?" He cocks his head to one side as he asks tentatively. Navigating the conversation with as much caution as he can at this point. 

  The flashes of everything they all did throughout the years won't leave his mind. Flooding up immediately to the forefront as if trying to prove his point. That kind of stuff doesn't exactly wash clean…

  "It's our life, y'know. We should prolly remember it. The good and bad. I wanna remember goin’ to school with you guys." 

  Good and bad? Does the good every weigh out that kind of bad? Is is worth remembering murdering loved ones - or in some cases even worse…? 

  "I…" Sonia's mouth opens and closes feebly but she doesn't manage to squeeze another word out. Instead she’s left gaping there as she fumbles with her own mind and body. 

  "Hajime gets it right? Your life is your life, y'know. We gotta know our past." Akane's gaze stares right through him.

  Even with Akane’s assurance, he’s not sure he agrees. Was it ever any of their lives to begin with? It was all Junko through and through. But how would they feel being dragged into a world where everyone hated them and their crimes haunted them while they didn’t remember a thing?

  Instead of arguing he forces a terse smile. No one else make an argument either. It might not be the universal agreement he would hope for before making this kind of choice it’s probably as good as they are going to get. He just hopes their classmates feel the same way when they wake up once more. Assuming they do… 

  “That’s decided then.” He poses the question one last time but still nothing. “I’ll see you on the other side then.”

~~~

  Like so many times before, he opens his eyes to the soft sandy beach and the warm sun rays breaking across the perfect blue sky. He takes a deep breath and his lungs are filled with fresh salty air. Even after all this time it manages to feel so real.

  But he has no time to wander around aimlessly this time. He doesn’t even have the time to lose himself in the moment or his own thoughts. There's only one place he needs to go and he needs to go there fast.

  "Alter Ego?" He calls out across the beach. The lapping waves drown out the sound but he's sure the AI heard him call. After all, it's not like there's anything else going on for it to be paying attention to.

  Sure enough the small form of Alter Ego pops onto the beach in front of him, it’s short brown hair blowing slightly in the mild wind. Rustling softly under the warm sun rays. 

  "It's nice to see you again, Kamukura." Alter Ego smiles innocently and skips closer, "What did you need?"

  "The others agreed to the plan and we’ve finished modifying the chambers now. Most of them anyway…” He pulls the band aid off in one fell swoop. There’s no time for dancing around the situation now. 

  "Really?!" Alter Ego claps it's hands together excitedly, “I saw the AI you uploaded but I didn’t want to get my hopes up.”

  "Good, does it work the way it needs to?" He subtly holds his hand behind his back, crossing his fingers as tightly as he possibly can until they burn. The searing feeling spreading all across his body. 

  "I haven’t tested it yet but it should do. It really is a beautiful code.” He feels his cheeks flush awkwardly as he squirms at the words of praise. 

  He feels obligated to offset it by reminding Alter Ego that he was also the one who created AI Junko but he holds his tongue. If it’s read through the code then there’s no way it didn’t notice the similarities - that is, assuming it didn’t know in the first place. If the AI is choosing to compliment it then he should just take it. 

  “Well it’s time to test it out. Take us to that data room from before. Please.” He catches himself at the last second, offering a small awkward smile.

  “Of course.”

  And just like that the scenery changes again and they're in the same pure white room from before. He can feel his stomach twists and churn at the constant changing but he keeps his face stoic. 

  "Here you go. Do you need my help with anything?" Alter Ego looks up at him expectantly. Maybe even hopefully.

  His knee jerk response is to decline. He can do this on his own. Then he looks at all the data in front of him. All the loves and memories.

  "Yes, for now can you take me to the data of Bya - the Ultimate Imposter." He quickly corrects himself. 

  What are they supposed to call them? Having been around the actual ‘Byakuya’ calling them by that name seems wrong. And yet in all the files, stories, and discussions he’s never once heard a true name. It’s almost always either Byakuya or Ryota depending on who’s telling the story and when they’re telling it. Without any other option does he just have to call them ‘Imposter’. And yet that feels even worse. Anything tying them to Hopes Peak leaves a sour taste in his mouth. This probably isn’t the time to be worrying about all that though. 

  "Yep!" 

  Alter Ego beams as it pulls forward all of the Byakuya's data. It might as well be laying an entire life at his feet. All life is made of nothing more than an assortment of letters, numbers or electrical signals, whether its in real life or in the code, but knowing that and seeing it laid out before you is a different thing. To be able to reach out and touch it…

  He shakes his head clear and clasps his hands behind his back. Anything to remove the temptation. 

  "Great. So you said something resembling his consciousness is in here.” 

  “Sort of. It’s not exactly consciousness but it’s probably easier to just call it that.” Alter Ego crouches down to the codes level, peering into the darkened void of ones and zeroes. 

  “Can you help me upload the AI into it then?” 

  In an ideal situation he would want to trial the AI in another piece of code but what else can they use when it comes to the human psyche. If he was the one who made it then he just needs to have faith in his own abilities. When have they ever let him down? They didn’t even fail him when he wanted them to after being put into Neo World Program. They’re not about to fail now. 

  “Of course.”

  And then the waiting game begins. 

  He’s not sure how long it’s supposed to take to stabilise a ‘dead’ mind - he doubts anyone knows. It would have taken days or weeks in the Neo World Program, what if it takes days or weeks here too? By the time they’ve done one person the future foundation could be storming the facility. 

  Keeping a tight hold of his hope he settles in for the long haul, taking a seat beside Alter Ego on the beach side. In the back of his mind he’s aware that Alter Ego is talking, something about it’s favourite places in the program, but not a single word has stuck in his mind. It all blurs together as the seconds tick on and on and on. Minutes changing to hours as he just tries to keep himself over thinking all this. 

  Are the others watching him lounging on a beach right now? Have they finished Peko’s chamber by now? There’s nothing stopping him returning, even if just for a few minutes, but he can’t bring himself to do it. What if something suddenly went wrong over here? He has no idea what could happen that Alter Ego wouldn’t be able to handle but given what happened the last time he added an AI to the program can’t help but be a little paranoid. It’s not like Alter Ego handled that situation perfectly. 

  An hour passes. And then another. And then another. It has gotten to a point where he really is beginning to consider that it could take days when Alter Ego suddenly freezes. For the first time he actually resembles a computer program, his eyes becoming glassy and his form glitching ever so slightly for a split second. Screen tearing happening right in front of his eyes, breaking the illusion of the perfect world. 

  “Alter Ego? Are you okay?”  He cautiously reaches out, not quite daring to touch the AI.

  “Yes. I believe your AI has been successful.”

  Blood thunders in his head. Pulsating until that static crackle completely consumes him. Waves hitting against the shore of his mind. 

  It was…successful.

   It didn’t feel real before but that is only amplified now as he sits here in a fake world next to an artificial life form. 

  After the hours of work they’re now finally going to know if this is even feasible or if they’ve wasted all that time for nothing. He clenches his jaw and breathes in deeply. 

  This is it. 

  If it’s all gone to plan then Sonia - or one of the others - should be watching right now. There is no way they would run off now when they’re so close. He’s willing to bet they’ve been staring at the screen the entire time he’s been gone. 

  “If it’s all ready then we need to upload the memories at the same time as the others activate the machines.” Alter Ego nods along as Hajime explains, “How quickly can you upload the data?”

  “I should be able to do it effectively instantaneously.” Alter Ego speaks firmly, its brow and muscles completely tensed. 

  “Good. I’m going to do a count down in a second and you can upload it as soon as I get to zero.”

  You better be watching, he mutters to himself even though he knows they won’t hear it. It all rides on this one moment.

  “Five.”

  “Four.”

  “Three.”

  “Two.”

  “One.” He can hear himself dry swallow, choking on air. 

  There’s no backing out now. 

  “Zero.”

 ~~~

08/05 - 04:14 

  He sits up violently, sucking in a deep breath. Unlike every other time, it feels like breath has been sucked out of his lungs. He grips the edges of the chamber as he pulls himself free.

  "Hey, are you okay?" Kazuichi's calloused hand reaches down to support him. The rough skin scratching against him. Every feeling amplified. The crackles swelling around his mind and consuming his thoughts one by one. 

  He screws his eyes closed and takes a few shuddering breaths. Bit by bit his heart beat slows and he begins to pull himself forward.

  "Hajime?" Kazuichi slowly releases him and back away.

  "What happened, did it work?" He doesn't need to ask though as Kazuichi is beaming from ear to ear.

  "Why don't you look!" He skips out the way to let Hajime see the scene before him. 

  Byakuya is carefully being helped out of the tank, supported on both sides by Akane and Fuyuhiko. Their weakened bodies shake as they lift him but together they manage to pull them free. Guiding them out of the chamber just as they had been helped what feels like weeks ago at this point but it’s only been a few days. 

  "Are you okay?" Sonia sobs, her cheeks shimmering. Although her legs have been perfectly fine at supporting her until now, they choose this moment to buckle under her until she is nothing more than a puddle on the floor. 

  "I - I think so…" Their croaky voice is barely audible as they stumble forwards in Fuyuhiko and Akane’s arms. 

  While their skin has never been the most tanned, right now they looks sheet white under the eerie lighting. Despite their obvious weakness they do their best to balance on their own, taking as much weight off the others as possible. 

  Still catching his breath, Hajime carefully pulls himself out to run over and check on Byakuya (or whatever their true name is). He can only just about hear Kazuichi’s steps chasing right behind, as both of them swoop in to join the others. Hajime moving in with a surprising amount of ease as he shifts them from Akane to himself without missing a beat. 

  It’s only as he starts to support their weight that he realises his limbs are still strangely numb. Tingling travelling up his arm as his entire body tingles and shivers. Sparking as if a bundle of electricity has just been wound up inside of him, ready to burst at a moments notice. Nevertheless, he refuses to back away or step back. Holding firm as they continue to guide them ever so slightly forwards. 

  "Careful, you've been asleep for a while so it's not easy to walk." Kazuichi speaks with a soft and gentle voice. Even though he knows that Kazuichi isn’t talking to him, the words somehow still feel pointed. 

  "What's going on?" They carefully look around the room, blinking wildly, "Where are we?"

  Hajime frowns, does he not remember coming here in the first place. Did he somehow mess up the memory files?

  "We're in the future foundation building. You've just woken up from the Neo World Program, do you remember that?" Hajime crosses his fingers, praying that everything went okay. Their alive at the very least…right?

  "I - I remember the darkness and warmth. I couldn't breathe properly…and then I woke up here. Everything is hazy." They try to clumsily rub their face but their eyes don't become any clearer. Then without any warning they snaps to attention. Back becoming rigid and straight without a moments notice. 

  If he wasn’t so close he would never be able to tell but with this proximity there is no missing the way the shiver runs up their spine. Consuming them as their head whips around to lock onto Hajime of all people. In fact, he can see the exactly moment that their throat stops bobbing. Their skin somehow turning several shades paler in the blink of an eye. 

  Although he knows what they’re going to say before they say it, it doesn’t make things any easier. In fact it somehow makes his lungs sieze up even tighter.

  "Did I die?" 

  What is he supposed to say to that? He’s not sure there is a guide book written for these things. It feels wrong to just stand here but nothing he cold say feels like enough.

  It’s only as Akane swoops in and squeezes their shoulder with a single soft “Yeah…" that he finally allows himself to breath. Forcing himself to swallow once more.

  "I see…it's slowly coming back to me…"

  Before they can say anything else, Sonia pushes past Hajime and Kazuichi to throw herself onto them. Despite them wobbling unsteadily, she isn’t put off in the slightest as she just wraps her arms around their neck tighter still. Thankfully Hajime is there to carefully keep them standing as the two collide harshly.

  "We are just so glad to see you here and alive!" Tears are fully streaming down her face now. Hajime can see them slowly spreading out and staining their shirt but no one is going to make any moves to interrupt the moment, "We truly believed we would never see you again!" 

  "You were that worried?" The words are muffled with Sonia's hair covering their face but Hajime is close enough to make it out anyway.

  Sonia finally pulls away, her arms still locked around their neck but at least it gives them both some breathing room, "Of course! You are our treasured classmates after all. We spent so much time together!" In spite of the shining smile gracing her face, she's sobbing harder than ever. A bright red flush has lit up her cheeks.

  ''Yeah, 'course!" Akane claps their back again before Kazuichi drags them all into one giant unstable group hug.

  Hajime’s face is driven into the Byakuya’s neck without any warning. His breath is knocked out of his lungs as Kazuichi crashes against him, the long pink hair tickling the back of his neck. The awkward position has pinned his arm behind Akane’s as she wiggles about in the bundle. And yet despite the humidity and itchiness, it feels warm and soft. Like a heavy blanket draped over him.

  "Why wouldn't we be worried about you?" Kazuichi mumbles softly.

  Although he can't see any of their faces, he can feel the soft, warm splatter of tears on the back of his neck. Kazuichi's frame seems to shake with every shuddering breath.

  "Uh…" A short stifled sniffle, "I appreciate it, I really do." Hajime can feel their hand reach back to stroke Kazuichi’s back gently - or at least as gently as they can given the strange arrangement they have found themselves in, "What about the others?"

  The hands fall away at the utterance of that question. It's not easy to disentangle themselves but somehow they manage it with Kazuichi carefully keeping everyone upright with a gentle arm and sturdy stance.

  Byakuya looks at them all uncertainly, as if they’ve somehow broken an unspoken rule. 

  "This is all of us that are left - well for now." Kazuichi explains quietly, scratching the back of his neck.

  "So everyone else…" Byakuya's voice tails off as they stare at the distant wall.

  Each of those dead bodies are forever ingrained in his mind at this point. He can’t imagine ever being able to forget the sight. He remembers how desperate Byakuya had been to make sure no one died at all within the program but looking back they made a real mess of that. 

  Even so, they aren't even truly lost anymore so why does it leave such a hollow feeling in his stomach? Is it because of what Byakuya said a minute ago? He remembers those last moments of death. Even if they haven't truly died forever, those deaths still happened. Every gruesome and horrific one.

  "We can bring them back though!" The ever optimistic Sonia immediately grins, practically hopping up and down with joy, "Hajime managed to find a way to wake everyone up again which is what we're doing." Sonia skips over to him, wrapping herself around his arm. Clinging onto him as if trying to keep him from running away or something. 

  "Really? You can save -" Byakuya never finishes their sentence though as they stop midway through, their hands clutching at their head as best they can with both Hajime and Fuyuhiko still supporting them. 

  They all do their best to grip onto them, but in spite of everything they don’t waiver or fall. They just stand there, clutching at their loose hair until their knuckles turn white.

  "You ‘kay dude?" Akane asks carefully, eyebrows knitted together into a wave of tension. 

  "I…don't…k…know…" Every word drags out laboured and clunky.

  "Are they okay?" Sonia looks up at him like a deer in the headlights. Her nails are dug into the fabric of Byakuya's shirt as if they’re going to slip away somehow while she's not looking.

  It’s not just her though, they’re all staring at him - even Byakuya. Of course he's supposed to immediately know what's wrong. Well then -

  "It's okay. You've been asleep for weeks and you were technically brain dead for a lot of that time. It's not going to be easy for your body or mind to adjust to all this." He tries to sound as reassuring as possible but there is a limit to what he can do. 

  He doubts there is any research on the effects of coming back from the dead like this. They'll just have the learn on the fly then. Much like the Neo World Program itself then…

  "Is there any way we can help them?" Sonia pleads with him again as if that will somehow make him come up with something. 

  "There isn't really a precedent for this. You, Fuyuhiko, and Akane can keep an eye on them…maybe get them some food and drink for now. If they’re feeling really bad then maybe a painkiller…? I would help but I should probably make sure the others wake up as soon as possible." He explains, hyper aware of all their other classmates still asleep.

  Maybe it would be better for him to go and help figure out how to help Byakuya but he's the only one who can wake up the others. Doesn't he have a duty to make sure everyone else wakes up first? He doesn’t even need to hear Byakuya speak to know that’s what they would want him to prioritise too. But if they get worse and need medical attention while he’s -

  "That's fine. You don't need to be worried about me. Help the others." Byakuya does their best to stand up on their own. Cutting off Hajime’s train of thought with ease. But, in spite of it all, they can't hide the dazed and disconnected look in their eyes.

  He supposes it's enough though as Sonia doesn’t hesitate before taking his place. Her and Fuyuhiko supporting them while Akane hobbles behind, ready to whisk them away out of the room in the blink of an eye. Well, less whisking more of a shambling drag. Even when they're gone he can hear them pottering around the kitchen. Sonia's chattering filling the halls.

  Before anything else can distract him, he turns and moved towards the computer, ready to set up the next person. His fingers fly across the keyboard so fast that he can barely hear Kazuichi muttering across the room.

  "I can't believe you actually did it! It worked."

  "I told you it would." He doesn't bother looking up from the screen. He can practically hear every second counting away.

  "Yeah, but -" 

  As soon as the last button is pressed on the computer Hajime steps away and speeds past Kazuichi. He grabs the boys arm and pulls him along too, cutting off whatever he was about to say.

  With a dumbfounded Kazuichi bow silent beside him he lifts himself up into the chamber once more. Being careful, so as not to break the head set, he attaches himself up once more. The muscle memory is more than enough to get him hooked up at this point.

  Once everything is connected he looks up at Kazuichi. He’s watching every micro movement Hajime makes. Reading it all. The lines of his jaw taut and tense.

  "You remember what to do right," A stern nod, "Good. I need to go in and sort out Teruteru's coding now. It will probably take as long as Byakuya's so make sure you're ready for my signal." 

  "I will be." Kazuichi’s face is almost stoney. Or as close to that as he is possibly capable of. He's seen the boy stern and determined many times but somehow, after remembering Hajime's time in the Neo World, it feels far more out-of character. 

  With nothing else to say, he lays down and allows the darkness to embrace him once again. 

~~~

08/05 - 10:47

  "Kamukura?" Alter Ego's soft voice is the first thing he hears as he awakens. It's soft hand is resting lightly on his shoulder, as if shaking him awake.

  He groans and sits up, shaking away the hazy edges until the untouched landscape of the Neo World is stable once more.

  "Oh good, you're here! Did it work?" Alter Ego hums excitedly, watching his every move. He hadn't expected to find the AI hanging off his every word but given everything he supposes he shouldn’t be surprised.

  "They woke up fine. Their head hurts but other than that they appear to be alive and well." 

  He has barely finished speaking when Alter Ego let's out a soft cheer. "We saved him!" It claps loudly, hopping up and down, "Now we can save the others!" 

  "That's the plan." 

  He can't help but give the AI a small crooked smile. Something about it’s boundless hope and optimism is infectious. An almost child-like innocence. Then again, who knows how old the AI really is - it might well be only a year or so old.

  He doesn't even need to tell Alter Ego what to do. The AI has already taken them straight to the data room, ready for the work to begin, "Who's data do you want?" As it speaks, it paces the across the space, looking all the data up and down.

  "Teruteru."

  The second death on the island. The sound of his skin crackling and frying is still audible somewhere in the back of his mind. Regardless of anything the boy did, did he deserve to die like that? Junko would argue yes of course but he isn't so sure anymore.

  "Ummm…Teruteru's data is…here." 

  It carefully pulls up the data just like it had with Byakuya before hand. This time he doesn’t even wait a second before he’s uploaded the AI, beginning the process all over again. But even so his fingers remain crossed behind him as he sucks in a deep and silent breath. 

  "So what are you going to do with everyone once they're all awake?" Alter Ego chats as it works. Multitasking every action.

  "What do you mean?"

  "Umm…well…when all your classmates are awake what is the first thing you want to do together?" Alter Ego hums, tapping it's chin softly.

  The first thing they want to do together? The thought never once crossed his mind. He's sure Sonia has thought of something - maybe even Kazuichi too - but what's the point of even thinking about it? Where are they going to go? It’s hardly like there is anything to do other than drink in this place. Especially now that Naegi and the others have vanished once more. 

  "I don't -" He begins to answer but he stops himself, "I want to go to the beach with everyone. Not the Neo World beach but a real one. I want to go outside with them all and relax, like this place was supposed to be."

  He tries to imagine seeing everyone relaxing on the sand, this time for longer than five minutes. Would they even be able to relax now after everything? Who knows. But maybe, with Naegi, Kirigiri and Togami gone, they might actually be able to venture outside and onto the shore. It isn’t much of a pro but it’s something at least. 

  "The beach…that sounds fun. Is it very different to how it is here?" Alter Ego closes it’s eyes for a moment. It’s almost as if it's trying to stir some kind of memory of shores beyond this one.

  "I don't know. I haven't been to one before." He mutters quietly.

  Memory upon memory of this beach fills his mind. There are even distant hazy memories of beaches long since forgotten rattling around somewhere inside him, but that's all they are, memories. He's never once touched real sand or dived into the ocean. The closest he got was the secluded industrial shipyard the future foundation picked him up from and the shores they passed as they landed here to enter the program. It's not exactly a beach side excursion.

  Even so, the admittance is enough to leave Alter Ego shaken. It's eyes are wide as it turns to him, "Never?" 

  "There wasn't much need for going to the sea." He clears his throat and throws himself back into the code.

  Alter Ego falls quiet. It already knows more than enough about him and the others. Explaining any more would be pointless. Besides the words don’t seem to come to him now. He’s not even sure where he would start. 

  Nevertheles, for a time that seem to be enough to placate Alter Ego as it turns back to it's work. But after a few minutes have passed it falls still once again, "What about -" 

  He cuts it off with a sharp voice, "We should focus on this for now."

  It comes out a little harsher than he'd intended to. From the corner of his eye he can see Alter Ego's face drops. It nods slowly, biting down hard on it's bottom lip. 

  "I see. Sorry." A short wet sniffle quickly follows its wounded words.

  Ah, typical. Of course he managed to make the artificial intelligence cry yet again. Maybe he should keep a tally going… 

  "I don’t want to be rude but I'm only thinking about the present now. The future is hazy and out of focus but this," he gestures to the huge line of code spread out before them, "I can do. I brought them all into this situation and given my capabilities I should be the one to bring them back. Even if I never see them again after this, it’s my duty right now." 

  He immediately turns away from Alter Ego. As if just having the AI out of his vision is enough ot convince himself that it isn’t there anymore. He can imagine its soft rounded cheeks aren't still wet with tears.

  "I understand. I really want to help you and your classmates and maybe one day you can come back and tell me about the beach..." He can't see it's face as it talks but he can imagine the look in the back of his mind still. 

  "Why don't you tell me about your creator then." He says it offhandedly but clearly he didn't know what he was getting himself in for.

  The AI can speak almost endlessly about its creator. It tells tale after tale about Chihiro with a fond voice that distinctly remembers matching the creator himself. It's almost soothing to listen to the soft spoken chattering as he waits. 

  It evolves into stories about other people too. Kirigiri, Naegi, Asahina - even people like Togami and Hagakure get mentioned. Its ‘friends’ as it puts it. He finds it hard to see how an AI trapped in here like this can be so close with them but then again he's here, isn't he.

  He knows he shouldn’t be but he’s almost sad when Alter Ego finally freezes up, notifying everyone of the success. All chatter silenced as they turn to each other in anticipation. 

  Just like before they count down together, praying that this wasn’t a one hit wonder. However when he braces himself for the trip back there is no flood of darkness. Nothing but Alter Ego's face awaiting him. They'd sent the sign to Kazuichi already so what's the issue?

  He squints his eyes at Alter Ego who's ringing its hands in its lap. Maybe it's his trust issues talking - he's not going to diagnose himself right now - but he's immediately tense.

  "Kamukura?" Alter Ego steps ever so slightly closer to him, "When was the last time you slept?" 

  The last time he slept…he can't remember now. Two days ago? Less? More? Every hour has blurred into one as they worked. Does it even matter?

  "Why?" 

  "You seemed to be getting slower and more sluggish. Maybe you should get some sleep…" Alter Ego asks slowly. It's as if every second its bracing itself, ready for him to suddenly turn around and snap once more. 

  At the word sleep he finds his eyes growing unexpectedly heavier. If he didn't know better he'd think Alter Ego had cast some kind of spell on him. His mind suddenly alert to the oncoming wave of drowsiness. It's going to take more than that to shake his resolve though.

  "I can't sleep until we've gotten everyone awake." 

  Both of them can clearly see all the work that's ahead of them. It's had to deny while looking at the memories laid out in front of them. A mountain of code waiting to be deciphered.

  "I don't want to sound rude but you aren't actually needed for that. I - I mean you can go and rest for a few hours while I work on this code myself. This is sort of what I was made for after all…" Alter Ego swings one leg back and forth slowly, it's toes lightly brushing the ground as it swings by. Then all at once it's head snaps up and it waves it's hands aggressively, "Not to say you aren't really smart with all this! It's just that I can do all the boring coding stuff while you look after yourself."

  Of course Alter Ego could do this itself. Why hadn't he thought of that? He had hours spent here but he never once even considered the idea.

  "But do you know the order we're waking them up in?" 

  "Well…you're waking them up in the order they…the order they…died in, right…?" Alter Ego winces as if it's stepping on a landmine instead of just asking a question.

  "Yes."  He hums quietly to himself, "How will I know when you're ready if I'm asleep? What if I don't see the sign?" He knows he's practically grasping at straws now but he can't stop himself.

  Alter Ego must be able to sense it too. It's not exactly confident but it's voice has lost the wobbly quality it had before, "You did say there are people other than you out there. Maybe if you all took turns sleeping and watching for my signal. It takes us around 7 hours for the AI to work so as long as you're awake in 7 hours it should be fine…" 

  What else can he say to that? It just makes sense. No matter what he says, he can't argue with that. He just stands there in front of Alter Ego not saying a word. Logically it's the smartest option. Who is he to argue with logic? Imagine how much more productive they could have been while they were altering the machinery yesterday if they'd had Alter Ego working behind the scenes.

  "You don't have to if you don't want to but I thought it might be faster and easier. It's easy to make mistakes when you're tired after all…" 

  "No, it's fine." He chirps in quickly before Alter Ego can start spiraling, "You're right. It's the best option we have. You can flash the screen blue if you need any help or need me to come back in though." He quickly adds on. He can't imagine Alter Ego struggling with anything but it feels a little better to know the option is there.

  "Yep! I will do!" Alter Ego beams once more, it's tiny framing looking more human than ever.

  "Okay then…I will see you once we've saved everyone then."

  Maybe it's Alter Ego's infectious grin, or maybe just his sleep deprived state, but he can't stop himself from smiling back. Perhaps he doesn't want to stop himself…

  "I'll see you then." 

~~~

08/05 - 17:09

  His eyelids are heavy are he blinks back into consciousness. The same heavy weight is present above him as he heaves in heavy breaths. This time there's sound beyond him though. The sound of feet moving and fabric rustling. The sound of fast shallow breaths and anxious chamber. He can't make out any of it clearly beyond the confines of his little chamber.

  As he pulls the machinery off of him he notices that Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko are nowhere to be seen. All he can see above him is the dim light of the room and the dull ceiling.

  It's only when he pulls himself up into a sitting position that he can see the others all gathered around at the other side of the room. Their backs are all facing him making it hard to see anything they're doing. Almost all of them anyway.

  "Hajime! You're awake. I thought you weren't going to for a moment there." Kazuichi stands up from the huddle and rushes over just like last time. But in spite of everything, he certainly isn't smiling.

  With more force than Hajime was expecting, Kazuichi grips his hand and pulls him up. Swinging his leg over the chamber, to drag him away as fast as he can. It's only then that he sees what everyone is gathered around.

  Teruteru is hunched over on the floor, breathing raggedly. His usually perfectly styled hair is in shambles as his hands have curled into the hair, pulling at it as hard as he can. It's pulled in every which direction and almost entirely covers his facial features. That's not enough to hide the pale taut distress rippling across him though.

  "Take deep breaths in." Sonia's voice wobbles as she rubs a hand up and down his back. His chest only seems to rise and fall faster and faster with every movement of her hand though.

  "Is he okay?" Akane's eyes are wide as she stands awkwardly just beside Sonia.

  They're both practically on top of Teruteru. The only free space around the huddled boy is the spot Kazuichi had just left.

  Sighing Hajime rushes forward until he reaches the group. With a firm hand, he grips both Akane and Sonia’s shoulders to yank them back. With their poor balance they both fall backwards onto the ground but he can't bring himself to care. Trying to be a little more careful he nudges them both softly, hoping they get the point. Thankfully Sonia gets it enough for the both of them as she takes Akane’s arm and pulls her away to join Kazuichi as Fuyuhiko follows suit. 

  With the space free he approaches, kneeling down as he keeps everyone else away. While he makes sure to leave some space between them, he stays within range to help if he needs to.

  "Teruteru, can you hear me? Just nod your head if you can hear me." He waits for a few seconds until Teruteru gives him the smallest little head nod possible, "Good. If you can try to breath in and out when I say to. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out." 

  They both sit there for a few minutes, breathing together. Bit by bit Teruteru's breathing evens out until they're regular and almost normal. There's still a ragged edge to each one but it's nowhere near as shallow as before.

  "You're doing great. Do you want me to touch you?" 

  He's barely gotten the words out when Teruteru shakes his head violently. His breathing hitches again, wobbling weakly. His fingers curl around until his nails are digging into his legs.

  "Don't worry, that's fine. I won't touch you at all. Just remember to keep up the breathing," Hajime quickly twists around to address Kazuichi, Sonia and Akane, "Can anyone get him some water quickly?" 

  "Y-Yeah!" Kazuichi immediately sprints out the room before anyone has even reacted.

  Sonia and Akane shift for a moment, as if about to chase after Kazuichi but neither of them actually move. Even now they're fixated on Teruteru who's still folded in on himself. Their prying gazes probably aren't helping but he cant be bothered to lecture them.

  A minute later Kazuichi reappears and presses a glass into Hajime’s hand. As soon as it passes over he shoots back to join the others as if he'd been burnt with molten rock.

  Doing his best to ignore the others he carefully hands Teruteru the water, watching him as he slowly sips at the water. It never once leaves his lips, his breath quickly fogging up the inside of the glass.

  None of them say a word until every drop of the water has been drained out of the glass. They all might as well be holding their breaths as they wait patiently.

  "Are you feeling okay?" He asks tentatively, shifting ever so slightly backwards so Teruteru can set down the glass. He never does though, it stays firmly locked in his fists death grip. It's a good thing Teruteru isn't quite strong enough to shatter the glass itself. The most he can do is turn his hands a faint shade of white from the pressure.

  "Y-Yeah…" His voice is rough and broken but audible. He immediately thinks of sandpaper and metal scraping on metal. It's a far cry from the smooth voice he remembers before.

  "Do you want more water?" Teruteru pauses for a moment, flexing his hand around the glass he's still clinging to. 

  Finally, after a minute of silence he releases his grip, handing it back to Hajime with only a slow nods of the head. He doesn't even need to turn around to the others before Kazuichi is at his side. Just like before they all wait patiently as he runs off to fill up the glass once again.

  "What do you remember?" Hajime asks softly. It might be the wrong thing to ask given the situation but they should probably ask at some point. Better to get it all sorted here and now. 

  Teruteru shakes his head slowly as his fingers tangle into his hair once more. Unlike with Byakuya, he seems to be tugging at the hair itself rather than just clutching at his head. It's almost like the dull pain is grounding him.

  "I remember being dragged away from you all. I remember…I remember…" His voice fades away as he buries his face into his knees. His hair flops down awkwardly, completely hiding any still exposed parts of his face.

  Hajime bites down on his bottom lip. It's the same as Byakuya. Maybe he should have tried to remove those last memories - it wouldn't have been too hard. No matter what Akane said it would be better than this right?

  "It is okay. You are completely fine now. Hajime has found a way to help everyone now that the danger has passed." Sonia quietly chirps in but still she doesn't dare move any closer to him and Teruteru. The most she does is lean forwards in the hopes her voice will carry over to Teruteru.

  "Everyone?" That's enough to get Teruteru to lift up his head.

  "Yeah…" 

  How is he going to explain everything else that happened while he was 'dead'? 

  Thankfully before he can begin to approach it Kazuichi returns like a knight in shining armour. Slightly less awkwardly this time, he brings the water over and hands it straight to Teruteru himself. Clearing his throat ever so slightly as he does so. 

  "Unfortunately you weren't the only one to die on the island. We were the only ones who survived." He explains, crossing his fingers that he will take it okay. 

  He’s not sure what he was expecting but Teruteru doesn't say any thing. Stoic and silent as he just takes a large drink of water and stares at the wall away from everyone else. They all wait on baited breath for any kind of response.

  "...it wasn't real was it…everything is hazy but it was a program wasn't it? That's why we're here in a room like this." When Teruteru finally speaks his voice is mildly smoother than it had been before. Every word is heavy.

  "Yeah. Those Future Foundation people stuck us in it. We're free now though." Akane chuffs and crosses her arms. 

  The explanation is simplistic at best but he doesn't think he needs to tell Teruteru that. The cold distant look in his eyes is enough of a tell. They all know exactly why they're here right now. They know who's fault it is.

  "You know what, I believe we could all do with a rest and food. It is a lot to think about but for tonight you should probably recover your strength." Sonia steps forward, taking charge. She even pumps her fist excitedly as if they're all just on a fun little school trip. Even so, it's almost nice to see. 

  "Yeah, Byakuya woke up before you and he's sleepin' it off in his room right now!" Akane grins, giving Teruteru a thumbs up.

  It’s at that moment that things take a turn for the worst. Before his very eyes, Teruteru stiffens. Winded at once as his eyes blow wide up. Staring up at Hajime as he twitches anxiously on the spot. Practically pleading as his eyes begin to shimmer in the fluorescent lighting. 

  "Byakuya is here?" It's nothing more than a hushed whisper. Almost as if Byakuya was somehow in the room with them, listening in on everything.

  "Yeah. We're bringing everyone back to life and he was first on the list because…" Kazuichi stops himself right before he finishes the sentence. He might as well have slammed his hands over his mouth for all the subtlety of his realisation.

  Teruteru doesn't seize up though. If anything, the tension in his eyes smooths out, "That means you're bringing everyone back. Including Nagito?" Teruteru twitches ever so slightly.

  There are so many memories rattling around in his head now that he almost forgot. Nagito might not have been on good terms with anyone but still…

  "Yeah, even that lunatic." Akane steps forward her hands on her hips.

  Lunatic. Insane. Psychopath. Murderer. Evil. Twisted. Obsessive. Weirdo. 

  The words mix together in his head. They twist around his image of Nagito viciously. And yet they have to save him because beyond all that a single memory comes to mind when he hears that name. That darkened ash filled room where his blood ran across the stone. It's hard to think of anything else but those last moments.

  Thankfully he doesn't have to say a thing. Before he can even comprehend what to say, Sonia has begun speaking, "Regardless of his previous transgressions, he was our classmate once and if we can revive him we should."

  Akane snorts, "Yeah, he's still a lunatic." 

  "Hear, hear." Fuyuhiko joins in, kicking lightly at the ground.

  "Well…yes…he may be a little strange but he cares about us so we should do our best for him."

  Hajime tries to imagine what Nagito would say if he was hearing all of this. That alone is enough to make him laugh.

  "I think he cared a little too much." Kazuichi mutters under his breath. It must be too quiet for the others to hear as not one of them turns towards Kazuichi.

  "I see." Teruteru looks down, his breaths shallow.

  "Well, for now we should focus on helping you as we wake up everyone else. Other things can be discussed later." Sonia smiles but it doesn't reach her eyes. Her already raw lip is slowly being gnawed at. The peaceful bliss of seeing their classmates alive again slowly giving way to the truth of the matter.

  Nevertheless, Teruteru nods his head slowly as he places a shaky hand against the ground. Just like Byakuya, his weakened frame is unable to keep himself up as he pushes against the floor.

  Cautiously, Hajime leans closer keeping an eye on his every movement, "Do you want us to help you get up?" He speaks slowly, hoping it doesn't sound patronising.

  "No!" Teruteru snaps out and violently yanks his arm out of reach, "I mean, I can get up okay." He clears his throat softly and sets his hand down again - further away from Hajime and the others this time.

  Pulling on the edge of the chamber, he manages to get onto unsteady feet. Everyone else around him holds their breath, waiting for a slip or wobble. They can't do anything but watch and wait. Thankfully, with the chamber to lean against he manages to stand on two feet. That's all he can manage then. Every shift in his weight causes ripples of wobbles throughout his recovering body. The bedrooms, which are usually so close, seem so far away now.

  "Here." Kazuichi is the first one to act, crossing the room to grab a walker tucked away at the edge. A discarded remnant of their recovery, "This should make it easier to get to your room." 

  Kazuichi sets the walker down nearby and immediately darts away, giving Teruteru space. With shaky hands, Teruteru lets go of the chamber and shifts over to the walker.

  "Thank you…" Hajime’s just about able to hear the muffled words over the sound of shuffling.

  Before Teruteru can fully leave the room he beckons Sonia closer. Teruteru keeps moving for a few steps until he finally stops, realising he’s lost his entourage. He rests as much of his weight as he can against the walker, slumping over the metal frame. Hajime should probably make this quick. 

  “We need to talk about our plan for this going forwards but can you accompany Teruteru for now?” She opens her mouth to argue but he promptly shuts her down, “You’re probably the face he finds most friendly here. I’ll make sure you’re told about our plans but he needs someone with him, even if it’s just to take him to his room.”

  She bites down on her bottom lip but nods anyway, “Okay. But make sure you keep me updated.”

  Not daring to get too close to Teruteru, she hovers just behind him, softly explaining all the great things about the facility. He’s not sure how much he cares about a coffee machine right now but he supposes it’s probably better than silence.

  As Sonia and Teruteru leave, the others gather around him, drawn in as if by some mystical force. Their expectant faces never once breaking away from him. 

  “What’s the issue? What do we need to change?” He can hear the panic lacing Fuyuhiko’s words. 

  “No! There’s nothing wrong.” He waves desperately, trying to dissuade their panic as best he can, “It’s just we’re all getting tired so I want to figure out the most sustainable way to move forwards.”

  “Okay.” Kazuichi breathes out a sigh of relief. Resting a hand against his heart as he practically doubles over dramatically. 

  Without any warning Akane punches his arm, “Dude, don’t scare us like that!” 

  “I didn’t mean to!” He pleads but it’s not convincing anyone. Not when they’re all practically scowling at him. 

  “Yeah yeah, whatever. Let’s get onto the plan.” Fuyuhiko grumbles, crossing his arms tightly.

  "The AI that runs the Neo World program is going to deal with the data and memories while I stay on this side. It should make the process slightly faster." He explains slowly, unsure of what any of them are going to think. 

  "An AI? What if it does it wrong?" Kazuichi begins playing with his nails, his hands still hovering over the now empty chamber.

  "It's already helped with the others. I…trust it… It helped in the final class trial with Junko so I'm sure it's on our side." 

  “Sure, but it also couldn’t stop the AI you implanted!” Fuyuhiko hisses quietly as if Alter Ego is going to somehow be able to hear them from all the way out here. 

  “I just -”

  “Look, I know I don’t get this crap but Hajime is sayin’ he trusts this thing. Ain’t we gonna trust him?” Akane steps up, taking charge of the conversation with a single sentence. 

  He doesn’t think he’s ever been more relieved to have the girl around. It’s not like they’ve ever been super close and yet here she is. 

  "We all need rest to do our best work, this way we can at least get a few hours rest." As he speaks he realises he's convincing himself as much as them. Seeing Mahiru's chamber across the room makes it even harder to stay hands off.

  "So what do we do now then…?" Although the tension in his muscles doesn't fade, Kazuichi does step away. His jaw is tight and rigid and he can't exactly hide the way he's chewing the inside of his cheek.

  "We all need rest but we don’t want to miss the signals so we should create a rota. We need someone around to keep an eye on Byakuya and Teruteru and we need two people around to start the process at any moment. That means two of us can be sleeping at any one moment.” 

  “So we’ll just rotate jobs for now.” Fuyuhiko asks tentatively, eyes narrowed. “Since you and Kazuichi know more about this shit me, Akane, and Sonia can cover the babysitting shifts.”

  “I guess that works.” Akane shrugs although who knows if she was actually following along. 

  Kazuichi sighs, leaning against the empty chamber even more, “Who’s taking the first watch then?”

  Hajime steps forward, ready to volunteer himself but Fuyuhiko promptly cuts him off. “Me and Akane will. It’ll be ages until the program is ready anyway so you and Kazuichi should be the ones who rest first. That way you guys will be the one handling the actual shit when it matters.” 

  He could argue but it is smart logic. He might not want to rest now but he certainly wont want to when the time draws closer. 

  “Fine. Are you okay with that Kazuichi?” Even as he asks he can see Kazuichi’s eye lids drooping ever so slightly. How long has he been like this, right on the edge of collapse. If he doesn’t go to sleep soon then he’s bound to pass out. 

  “I guess so. It is probably a smart idea.”  He doesn’t even bother trying to hide his reluctance and Hajime doesn’t blame him. Who could sleep at a time like this? But they both know it’s not logical, no matter how much they want it to be. 

  Without much more fuss him and Kazuichi buckle down for the night. Not wanting to lay back down in one of those chambers, he drops down onto the chair by the computer and rests his head on his arms. It's going to kill his back but they don't have loads of bed options and in no world is he leaving this room.

  Even with the awkward position and blue light shining on his face. He finds himself quickly being pulled under into an empty, dreamless sleep.

~~~

08/05 - 23:31

  "Hajime?" A soft hand shakes him slightly, "Hajime? Are you okay?" 

  Slowly Hajime blinks, staring blearily at the room around him. The soft face of Fuyuhiko is leaning down towards him, eyes wide and bright. His hand is still resting on Hajime’s shoulder.

  "What time is it?" Hajime mutters out the words through a yawn. Cheeks aching as oxygen floods his lungs once more.

  Darkness is all around them making it hard to see anything. The lack of windows is more present now than ever before. How many hours have passed since he fell asleep?!

  He snaps up to attention and stares around the room to search out Kazuichi. The pink haired boy has curled up on the floor, his head resting on his folded up arm. Completely passed out even now as Fuyuhiko whispers right by Hajime’s face. 

  "Uh, I'm not sure. Almost midnight or something." Fuyuhiko shrugs and backs away. 

  Frowning he quickly tallies up the time in his head. Good, he's still got about an hour until Alter Ego should be ready. That's something at least… 

  He groans loudly and rubs his face. Hie eyes are still sore, aching to close and return to sleep again. Even though his back aches it was one of the first good nights sleep he's had since waking up here. It was worth it. 

  “Has anything happened while I was asleep?” He yawns, stretching out his arms. 

  “Nah. Sonia and Akane swapped a while ago but I think Akane might have just passed out on the couch.” Fuyuhiko jabs his thumb over his shoulder towards the other room. “She was already basically just sleep walking so I didn’t think it was worth waking her up just to deal with her crap.”

  Probably smart. It’s not like they really needed everyone awake right now anyway. 

  But as he looks around he notices the rest of the room is empty other than Kazuichi who is still curled up in the corner of the room. He hasn’t even bothered finding a chair, apparently the floor was suitable enough. Maybe they should consider bringing some mattresses or blankets in for the future. 

  “Where is Sonia then?” He frowns. 

  “She’s just gone to the toilet or something. I’m sure she’ll be back in a minute. She’s insanely determined to keep working.” That does sound like Sonia. Hopefully she does actually sleep when it’s her turn to. The last thing they need is her crashing out too.

  Hajime rolls his shoulders and drags himself up off the chair despite his aching limbs. Every movement burns but its the good kind. 

  "So Mahiru is going to wake up soon…" Fuyuhiko clears his throat, swallowing hard. 

  In the mess of trying to sort all this out he didn’t even think twice about that. Sure, people like Teruteru and Byakuya might still have a few unresolved issues but its not just their sleeping friends who have those issues. 

  "It is your turn to rest now. If you don’t want to be around then you can go back to your room now. I can see how it might be…awkward." Hajime clears his throat loudly. 

  They aren't exactly in a normal situation. He supposes you can't really just say: whoops, sorry I tried to kill you. That's not exactly going to pass over fine.

  Fuyuhiko turns around and begins walking towards the chambers, his hands shoved in his pockets. He passes by Kazuichi who's still curled up on the floor and heads towards a specific chamber. Hajime is too tired and the darkness is too heavy for him to know who's exactly but he can wager a good guess.

  Staring down, Fuyuhiko begins to speak, "I should be here…shouldn't I? After everything I should fucking suck it up and do what needs to be done. Not for me but for her." Fuyuhiko's fists are pressed against the surface hard enough to turn the knuckles white. 

  "I can't say what you should or shouldn't do. None of us can really speak from a position of moral superiority." He sighs and cautiously gets up to move slightly closer. Keeping his distance he just watches as Fuyuhiko stares down into the hazy face of Mahiru Koizumi. 

  The dream from a few nights ago comes to mind. The blood on his hands and the rest of theirs too is only the beginning. In the grand scheme of things, the events of the killing game were nothing. A drop in the barrel. Then again, the big picture isn't always the most important thing.

  Taking a deep shuddering breath, Fuyuhiko slides down the side of the chamber until he's sat on the floor. His head rests gently on his knees as his arms pull his legs close to him.

  "I need to do it before I see Peko again. I need to…" His voice is muffled by his legs but Hajime can still hear every word.

  He can't imagine caring about someone as much as Fuyuhiko cares for Peko. Being that dedicated to a single person. Being that in love. It feels foreign after the life he's led. For all the darkness of the moment, he almost feels…warm. 

  As Hajime he never truly got to see them together - not until the end - but at least he's going to fix that now. First they just need to wake up Mahiru…

  “Besides, I’m not leaving you here on your own.” Fuyuhiko snorts, nudging Hajime’s shoulder gently.

  He snorts, “I’m not alone, I have Kazuichi.” 

  "We should leave him be." Fuyuhiko mutters, "The dude needs some sleep we should let him have it while he can." 

  Hajime looks over at his sleeping classmate. He's been awake for as long as Hajime - if not longer. The dark bags under his eyes are impossible to miss. Does it really matter if he isn't awake to see Mahiru as she reawakens?

  Staying as quiet as possible he carefully gets up and shuffles away. After a few seconds Kazuichi stops stirring and falls still, face still buried from view. They really should at least cover him with a blanket or something but they don't exactly have a lot to use. Can he really be bothered to go all the way back to the bedrooms and risk missing the signal? No, he'll just go get one if Kazuichi's still asleep when Mahiru is awake.

  Still staying quiet, he sits back at the computer, tapping his finger softly against his leg. This time, however, Fuyuhiko pushes himself off the ground and shuffles over to Hajime’s side. His petite hand presses against Hajime’s shoulder as he leans forward to look at the screen too.

  They stay that way, both watching the screen anxiously. Every muscle tensed in preparation. It feels more like going into battle than watching a computer. It’s not like the signal is even due soon but it’s not like they even have this time thing concrete. They can’t afford to miss a thing. 

  “What are you both doing?” 

  Both him and Fuyuhiko flinch back. His head slams backwards into Fuyuhiko’s, as both of their heads ringing like bells. 

  “Fuck!” Fuyuhiko curses so loudly he is certain it’s going to wake Kazuichi but the other boy remains firmly asleep, “Sonia! You can’t fucking sneak up on us like that!” Fuyuhiko grips the spot above his heart, still breathing heavily.

  “Sorry…I did not mean to!” She gasps and he can’t help but feel a little bad. 

  “It’s okay. We just weren’t paying attention.” Fuyuhiko does his best at damage control but it’s already too late. It’s not like she cries or even trembles but her entire face lights up bright pink. 

  “We were just waiting for the signal so we can wake Mahiru.” 

  He diverts her attention as best he can by pointing to the screen. Sure enough, any other thought is instantly swept out of her mind. The only thing in this world that matters is Mahiru. 

  “Oh good! I did not miss it!” She tries to smile but that doesn’t hide the way she’s nibbling at her nails. 

  Much to his surprise, Fuyuhiko is the one who fills the silence as they wait. Not once does he mention Mahiru though, instead he focuses on Teruteru and Byakuya who are already tucked away in their rooms. Questioning Sonia on how they were doing, talking about any resources they would need, reminiscing on how they will no longer end up having to eat Sonia’s food. 

  Hajime stays quiet the entire time, just enjoying listening to the muttering. The faint sounds of machines buzzing, Kazuichi snoring, and Sonia and Fuyuhiko chattering are like music to his ears. Even though he had just woken up recently he thinks he could probably fall asleep to this. In fact, his eyes do begin drooping ever so slightly as he lets himself relax into the warmth. 

  In the end it’s not him that falls asleep though. Instead it’s Sonia who gradually lets her eyes flutter closed as she rests on the desk. Snoring softly as Fuyuhiko tries to find something to toss over her. 

  She had wanted to be awake when Mahiru woke up and yet as the message from Alter Ego buzzes through is like an electric shock, he doesn’t even have time to think about waking her. Not now as they both leap into action. Although given how fast she had fallen asleep despite her attempts not to, she clearly needs this rest just as much as Kazuichi.

  The chair scrapes loudly at the sudden force throwing it back as he jumps upright but Hajime never looks back. Not wanting to be even a second late he runs over to the chamber at full speed. With one flick of his hand he throws the lid open and peers down at Mahiru.

  It’s different being on this end of things for once. Seeing them like this as they brace themselves for what is to come. As he prepares to awaken her once more. 

  She looks peaceful - even more peaceful than the others somehow. Her short red hair is perfectly brushed aside, framing her faded freckle kissed cheeks. He could almost swear that there's a smile gracing her lips. It looks nothing like the bloodied, limp girl he last saw. That’s a relief…

  He tears his eyes away and stares back at the screen, his hands waiting over the button. Fuyuhiko hovers by the computer, still rooted to the spot. Waiting. Preparing. If they had more time he might talk to him but they don't so he doesn't. Instead, he slams his hand down on the button as the countdown reaches zero.

  At once Mahiru's body arches as the electricity courses through her. She falls still. Another shot of electricity. She arches again. This time her eyes shoot open to as she gasps a thick heavy breath.

  Her pupils are pinprick as she stares up. Shaky hands reaching up to try and pull off the head gear awkwardly. Fumbling with a frantic manic energy that Hajime had never had when he woke up. Then again they never had this head stuff on when they were waking up. And yet, the entire time through everything else, she never stops staring at Hajime.

  "Here, let me help you." 

  He gently pries her hands away to give him better access to the gear. For the first few seconds she struggles against him before falling still and resigning herself. Trying to squash the guilty feeling burying itself in his chest, he pulls her free and sets the discarded head gear down to the side.

  "Does that feel a little better? You should be able to sit up now." He moves back a little to give her space but she keeps laying there, breathing heavily.

  "H-Hajime. Is that you?" Her previously peaceful face has twisted and contorted. Her eyebrows down turned and thick with tension.

  Saying no would probably only confuse her more - they don't need to get into that conversation now - so he just nods his head. It's not like he's lying anyway. That seems to be enough to soften her gaze as she closes her eyes and flattens herself even more within the chamber.

  "What happened…did I…die?" The word comes out choked as she scrunches her eyes even tighter closed.

  Speaking as clearly and carefully as he can, he tries to explain the whole situation. Or the most important parts anyway. The entire time he can feel Fuyuhiko lingering just behind him. Always standing right there out of her line of sight. It's a miracle she hasn't heard his increasingly fast breathing honestly.

  "It's really early in the morning right now so not many people are here and awake but we can try and get you some food and water before taking you to your room." He explains patiently, carefully skirting around Fuyuhiko's name.

  Unlike with the others, it's just him and Fuyuhiko now. None of the people who actually helped Teruteru and Byakuya yesterday are even here… Even so…

  "Um, thank you." A slight dusting of colour has filled her face now. She's still ghostly compared to his memories but she almost looks like herself.

  Taking her hand, he manages to pull her upright in the tank. It must cause a flood of blood to her brain as she immediately wobbles and clutches at her head. She still manages to stay stable and upright though which is better than nothing, but that's about as far as the good points go.

  As soon as she's settled, she freezes. Eyes locked on one spot as a look of horror consumes her. Fuyuhiko shifts his weight from side to side, barely managing to maintain eye contact with her throughout it all. 

  "What's he doing here?!" She gasps, the air catching in her throat midway through.

  Hajime instinctively shifts to put himself between Mahiru and Fuyuhiko. His hands stretch out front of him as of he were pacifying a wild animal and not Mahiru.

  "He's one of the people that survived with us. With me. I know there were some issues before but he really turned over a new leaf after that situation with…" Hajime let's his words trail off into nothing.

  He knows words can never really explain it. Logic would dictate that they all should never have forgiven Fuyuhiko after that…incident…but seeing him like that is a different story. Maybe it needs to be lived not told, or maybe it's not something a victim like her should ever have to understand, but it truly felt like he turned over a new leaf. Telling her that is never going to do it justice though.

  "But he -?!" Her breaths shorten and become ragged as she keeps a close eye on him. Primed and ready to start jumping at any tiny movement he makes.

  "I know, I know. But please -" He begins to speak but he can't even finish his sentence before Fuyuhiko has stepped forward and opened his mouth.

  "Look, Mahiru, I know I fucked up in the past - I royally fucked up - but I'm going to try and make up for it now. You don't need to forgive me or anything but I am going to find a way to make up for what I did to you and Sato before." 

  Fuyuhiko slowly moves closer and closer as he speaks. Each step feels heavy. Significant. Yet for every step he takes, she appears to shimmy back in the chamber. A weak attempt at maintaining the distance despite the barriers. Before he can get too close, Hajime holds a hand out. A silent declaration.

  "Can you leave? I don't want to see you now…please." For such a strong girl, she sounds small and fragile. Her head quickly turns to the side, blocking out any sign of Fuyuhiko.

  "Yeah. I'll go and give you space. For what it's worth, I'm glad you're alive." Fuyuhiko opens his mouth as if he wants to say more but instead of speaking he begins to leave the room. 

  The entire time he's walking, Mahiru keeps her head down. Like not looking at him or acknowledging his existence is somehow going to get rid of his actions entirely.

  It's only once the sound of movement has fully faded that she picks her head up once again. Her eyes have a watery sheen and tinges of red tickling the edges of them. He wants to rub her back and do his best to soothe her but given the situation with Teruteru the day before, he settles for hovering it awkwardly over her back instead.

  "Can I get some water…?" Her voice cracks and croaks as she speaks but she pushes through anyway.

  "Yeah, sure." 

  He takes her arm and slings it over his shoulder so he can pull her out. With them so close together he can feel every breath that leaves her but they don't seem to become faster or more distorted despite the close contact. Hooking one hand around her waist as hers hangs around his shoulder, they are able to start walking towards the living quarters together. 

  As they walk past the still sleeping form of Kazuichi she drags her feet a little as if trying to get a good look at him. Does she remember him like this? Or does she still see him as the relatively soft boy from the Neo World Program?

  "Who else survived? Just so I know who to expect." She manages to croak out the words.

  "Sonia, Akane, Kazuichi… Fuyuhiko… and I all survived." He rattles the names off methodically before pausing, "And we already woke up Byakuya and Teruteru before you." 

  "I see…" 

  He cautiously allows his gaze to flicker over to her, trying to read her, "Do you want to talk about what you remember?" 

  "No." She doesn't even hesitate for a moment. The words practically snapping right out of her, "I just want food, water and sleep…" She sighs, her body shuddering against him.

  "Okay. We'll get you sorted."

  They don't see anyone else as they sort out Mahiru. Not even Akane is anywhere to be seen. It's probably a good thing as Mahiru sits awkwardly, doing her best to drink all the water and toast Hajime had made for her.

  It's only when he begins taking the her to the rooms that he realises he doesn't know which rooms they put Teruteru and Byakuya in. He can be pretty sure Byakuya is in the room opposite Kazuichi but what about Teruteru? He probably shouldn't just open the door and check. Not given how Teruteru was earlier.

  Out of caution he takes her to the next row back which should still be untouched. Sure enough when he swings the door open it's empty and still perfectly laid out the way they found it. Still holding her upright, he carries her over to the bed and helps her sit down on it.

  While he fetches the walker that had been left in her room, she carefully examines the area around her. Not even trying to hide the curious turn of her head. Still he tries to set it where she can reach it from the bed as he begins explaining what the doctors had told them. He gets the distinct feeling she's not even listening but he can't be bothered to care. She'll figure out what it's for on her own. It doesn't exactly make him comfortable as he leaves her alone in the room but he look back at her as he leaves.

Chapter Text

09/05 - 06:20

  "Hajime?" A short groan splits echoes through the room as Kazuichi shifts on the floor. The blanket Fuyuhiko had carefully slung over him now rumpled on the floor, "Did I fall asleep?" 

  Both Hajime and Fuyuhiko had been sat together at the desk after Sonia woke up and was guided to her room to rest properly. Both of them waiting for the time to tick by bit by bit. Despite all the chatter and the fact he had a blanket tossed over him, Kazuichi had stayed sound asleep. He must have been sleeping for over twelve hours by now. Fuyuhiko had managed to slip off for a nap and had still returned before Kazuichi had woken up. 

  "Yeah. We gave you a blanket but we didn't want to move you." Fuyuhiko nods softly towards the blanket strewn on the floor.

  "Why didn't you wake me up?"

  Kazuichi tries to stand up as he speaks. His hair is still rumpled and disheveled, and there are red marks on his cheek detailing where his head was pressed against his arm. Somehow he looks more tired now than he did last night before he fell asleep.

  "You looked like you needed it. Fuyuhiko already woke me up in time to be there for Mahiru." Hajime shrugs casually.

  "So Mahiru is already awake? It all went well?" Kazuichi drifts over towards the chamber that used to house Mahiru. As if double checking, he peers in cautiously. Examining the interior diligently just in case Hajime is lying or something. 

  Fuyuhiko looks over at him, waiting. His lips are completely sealed. Typical…

  "Yes. She's eaten and drank and is now in her room. She seemed okay, just weak like the others." 

  "That's good…" Kazuichi sighs deeply, finally allowing himself to smile. Shoulder slumping bit by bit. 

  "We're just waiting for Peko to wake up now." Fuyuhiko hums softly, still constantly looking back at where Peko is laying. He's surprised the boy isn't literally staring at the clock counting down. 

  "Are you excited?" Kazuichi shuffles over to join them, leaning against the desk like Fuyuhiko. Staring him down with the slightest crook on his lips.

  "I -" A bright red flush covers Fuyuhiko’s cheeks, "I just want to see her alive. She deserves to be here…" Fuyuhiko does his best to turn away from them both but there is no where to hide. Not when they’re all this close together. 

  It's hard to say anything else. What do you say to that? He can remember Peko’s last moments now and it's impossible to disagree. Even with the others' discussion about Nagito yesterday it's hard to argue any of them could deserve to keep laying here like this. Not the 'victims' nor the 'killers' of the game. Or perhaps he is just the privileged one to be able to see things that way. 

  "She does. They all do." Hajime nods encouragingly as he speaks.

  "Well, either we all do or none of us do…" Kazuichi chuckles awkwardly, but his tone doesn't quite match the words.

  "Well that's fucking cheery." 

  "Hey, I'm just speaking the truth."

  Hajime pauses, tapping his fingers against his leg unconsciously. Chewing on the inside of his lip subconsciously. The truth. The truth…

  "Maybe. But we're here so we might as well make the most of it." Hajime sighs and leans back in his chair. It's too early in the day for this kind of discussion…shouldn't they at least wait until after they have eaten something?

  Kazuichi relaxes leaning against the desk, "Sure." 

  As if running from the offhand comment, they begin mindlessly chatting once again. He's not even really listening as Kazuichi mutters about events long passed but it's good enough background noise. It's not like it's for his sake anyway.

  He doubts Fuyuhiko is paying attention either. Although he occasionally mutters responses, his head only ever turned towards the screen. Every inch of his body is tensed and ready to leap into action.

  As the time draws nearer and nearer even Kazuichi’s soft chatter dies down. He’s not sure how long they sit like this, eyes glued to the screen and hearts beating in their chests. Even with the growing tension pushing down on them all they still practically fall out of their seats as soon as Alter Ego sends them the signal.

  And yet even as Kazuichi and Hajime run over to Peko's side, Fuyuhiko stays across the room just like with last time. When it came to Peko he really though things would be different but apparently not.

  "You press the button." Kazuichi rapid fires the words out as he scampers to the other side of the chamber until they surround Peko. Hajime swears he can see Kazuichi's leg wobbling even as he stumbles along, his leg mostly hidden by the chamber itself. 

  Not wanting to argue given their limited time he slides into position. Looking down at the chamber as he examines Peko’s pale face. She’s always been still and cool but not like this… Now of all times he can only seem to see her awkward, crappy smile painted on her face. 

  Just like a few hours before, his hand hovers over the button anxiously. He tightens his jaw, gritting his teeth as hard as possible. Fuyuhiko is still visible stood by the computer but he blocks the boy out to focus solely on the situation in front of him. They can deal with Fuyuhiko later. Right now they just need to sort out Peko and everything else will sort itself out…right?

  Not wasting a second, he slams down on the button as soon as the countdown ends. It's eerily similar to Mahiru as Peko’s body bows and arches under the current. As everything kicks back into gear he can see her take her first gulping breath in. Eyes snapping open in the blink of an eye. 

  It's only as Hajime and Kazuichi pull off her head gear that Fuyuhiko finally runs over to join them. As she sits up, bent over and catching her breath, Fuyuhiko holds a gentle hand to her back. Moving as subtly as he can, Hajime grabs Kazuichi's upper arm and pulls him back. Kazuichi loses his footing for a moment, stumbling, but with Hajime’s grip on him he manages to hold steady as they give Peko and Fuyuhiko as much space as they can. 

  "Come on, let's leave them." Hajime leans forward and whispers into Kazuichi's ear.

  "But -" Kazuichi turns to object, pointing towards Peko but his hand falls almost immediately.

  Fuyuhiko's tentative hand is brushing aside her hair, checking her entire body for the invisible sword wounds that are no longer there. It doesn’t matter how much he has seen her sitting in that chamber, he still needs to check even now. The way they're staring at one another makes him want to turn and flee the room. With every passing second it gets harder and harder to breathe. In Peko and Fuyuhiko’s minds they probably already have. He can hear them speaking quietly to one another and takes everything he has to avoid listening in.

  Clearing his throat to draw their attention, he calls out to Peko and Fuyuhiko one last time, "We're going to go rest and take a break before we need to be here for Hiyoko." He casually points to the door behind them, "Can you help Peko while we're taking a break?" 

  "Uh…yeah." Fuyuhiko narrows his eyed but doesn't object.

  "Come on then." 

  With his hand still gripping Kazuichi's arm, he drags the boy out of the room and closes the door behind them. This time Kazuichi walks close to him, matching Hajime’s every step.

  As soon as the door is fully closed, they both lean back against the wall and breathe a deep breath. They can still hear Peko and Fuyuhiko in the room beyond but they're soft and muffled now.

  Four down and six to go…he does the calculation in his head. So close and yet so far.

  "She seemed fine, right?" Kazuichi bounces against the wall. Voice shaking ever so slightly, "They're both happy."

  "Why wouldn't they be?" Hajime shrugs his shoulders softly. No one could argue any differently.

  "Yeah…" Kazuichi pushes off the wall to move forward.

  Together they shift away from the room, giving Peko and Fuyuhiko as much space as possible. Even just being in the corridor is too much. However, as soon as they step into the living area a familiar person is stood in the middle of the room.

  "Kazuichi, I -Hajime. Is everything okay?" Byakuya's voice cuts through the moment. Making both of them stop in their tracks as they look Byakuya up and down as if their vision is somehow going to change or something. 

  Their weight is resting on his walker as they carefully shuffle over into the kitchen. There's a bright uncharacteristic smile on their face. Well, uncharacteristic for the person he remembers in the Neo World Program anyway. Similar to Nagito, he rarely saw Byakuya before all this began. There was never a reason to. 

  "Yeah, we just wanted to give Fuyuhiko and Peko space…" Kazuichi coughs unsubtly, wiggling his eyebrows as if more needed to be said. Hajime has to stop himself from sighing at walking away at that very moment.

  "So Mahiru and Peko are both already…alive…again? I missed them both…" Byakuya’s lips twist ever so slightly. Eyes darkening as they begin to look down at their feet.

  "I haven't seen Mahiru either. I think she's still resting in her room for now." Kazuichi leans forward slightly, and if trying to stare through the walls to check on her but of course it does nothing to help him see.

  "She needed it." Hajime mutters softly, thinking back to how she had been the night before. Rest is what she needs right now, he just hopes she’s getting it. 

  As much as he might want to soothe his own thoughts by checking on her and Teruteru, for now they just need to leave things be. When they have more time and energy they can go around and check in on everyone… At least Byakuya is looking far more energetic if nothing else. 

  "I'd think so…" Byakuya twists around as much as the walker will allow so they can look back at the rooms. After a small pause when they clears their throat. 

  "There's no use in worrying about everyone. Come on, let's actually rest for a bit." Hajime pushes out the words. But even as he says it, his feet are already drifting towards the kitchen. Leading him ahead without looking back at the others he'd left behind.

  However, much to his surprise, before he can reach the table Byakuya cuts him off, "I was actually hoping to see one of you."

  "You wanted to see one of us?" Kazuichi mutters, confused. Narrowing his eyes ever so slightly as he begins to side eye Hajime.

  At the same time, Hajime twists around and shuffles slightly to the side to perch carefully on the edge of the table. It cuts into the tops of his thighs but he stays there anyway. Surveying the situation in front of him as he braces himself for whatever is going to be thrown his way. 

  "What is it? Do you need something?"

  "No, nothing like that. I was just wondering if someone could show me around the building. I know the five of you have been here the longest so you might be able to help...only if you’re not busy though." 

  "Sure, we can. Right, Hajime?" Kazuichi closes the distance between them without a moments hesitation. Jabbing him in the side with his elbow. The slightest smile on his face as he does so as if he’s proud of himself or something. 

  In spite of everything, he supposes it’s not exactly the worst thing he could be doing. They do need to do something to kill time before Hiyoko wakes up and it’s not like there is anything better to do. Having just gone to sleep between Teruteru and Mahiru he doesn’t direly need to go to bed at this point. 

  So, hopping off the table he begins nodding his head along, "Yeah, we can walk around with you." Vibrations shudder up his legs at the sudden contact but he walks it off. Biting his tongue as both him and Kazuichi hurry over to Byakuya’s side once more. 

  "Thank you, I appreciate it." Byakuya nods firmly and flashes them a soft rounded smiles.

  They surround Byakuya on either side before starting to move. They’re still heavily leaning on the walker, every step heavy and slow with the extra effort. He'd almost forgotten how clunky it was moving with those things.

  While Hajime tries to keep focused forward as they travel, he can feel Kazuichi's twitchy gaze always moving about. Never settling on one spot for long. After an uncomfortably long time, he finally spits out what he wants to say.

  "Are you sure you're okay walking with that? You can lean on us if it's easier." 

  They'd barely even gotten to then next room and he's already worrying about that. With the way he’s acting you would think the five of them hadn't been walking on the damn things just a few days ago. If anything, Byakuya almost looks more stable than they did somehow… Already moving with a surprising ease. 

  "Sonia said it was good to keep walking with it. It should help me recover quicker." Byakuya crinkles their eyes and forces a soft chuckle but their hands only grip the walker tighter. "Unless I'm moving too slow for you?"

  "No! I just remember how it was and it -" Kazuichi stumbles over his words as he shotguns them out before stopping all together, "You know what, don't worry." 

  To avoid putting his foot any further down his throat, Kazuichi zips his mouth shut leaving Hajime to handle all the conversation side of things. As reliable as ever.

  It turns out Hope’s Peak must never have had an Ultimate Tour Guide in all their years of operation. He does his best to make this place sound at all interesting but you can’t pull compliments out of nothing. Empty offices and dull looking medical rooms aren’t the height of entertainment. It’s lucky Naegi gave him the key card because it’s just about the only redeeming feature. 

  “This stairway takes us all the way through the building from the ground floor to the roof.” He explains as they all shuffle through the door to examine the massive stairwell. 

  Kazuichi is just as wide eyed as Byakuya as he leans forward over the railing to stare up and down the flights curiously. It’s not like they had been unaware of the buildings height, they had come in after all, but seeing it like this is a whole different story. 

  “I forgot how much of the building we still haven’t seen.” Kazuichi mumbles in awe.

  When they’re so wrapped up in sorting out their plan its like everything else just disappears. How could the rest of the building matter when they’re still down by six people? And yet he looks over at Byakuya, their eyes sparkling as they stares directly up.

  “Would you like to go upstairs and look at the roof?” He offers tentatively.

  In their state with a walker can they even get up there? It had been a decent few flights when he last went up after all. Byakuya must be able to tell but that does nothing to dissuade their steely expression. After everything Byakuya went through who is he to deny them? He might be somewhat swayed by his own desire to see the actual sky and breathe in fresh air once again too. 

  Walking in a line with Hajime in front of Byakuya and Kazuichi behind him they make their way up the stairs gradually. While they have to take it one step at a time, it could be worse. In someways he kind of likes the slower pace. There’s something…calming about just being here. Hearing Byakuya softly breathing behind him sends a warming hum through him. Even when they don’t talk, their presence is unavoidable. 

  When they finally reach the top of the stairs Hajime skips ahead, pulling the door free and holding it open to allow the cool wind to rush in. Even before they’ve stepped outside, the wind begins rustling through all of their hair. Humming around them soothingly.

  Kazuichi lightly punches his arm as he passes by to fully embrace the open air, “I can’t believe you never told me about this place.” 

  He takes a large gulp of air as if he’s trying to take in a lifetime supply. As they make their way to the edge he closes his eyes, enjoying the feeling of cool air rushing through his now short hair. Soothing chill wrapping around him like a thick blanket.

  God, this is so much nicer than last time. 

  “I forgot the sky looks like this…” Kazuichi mutters under his breath as he rest his chin on the railing. 

  Where there had once been crystal blue skies, all that is left is ember red. After spending so long in the program it had gotten too easy to forget about the reality in front of them. At this point he wonders if they will ever get to see a sky like that again…

  “It’s easy to forget when we’re all locked away.” He whispers into the wind. At this point he’s not even sure if he’s talking to Kazuichi or not. 

  Maybe part of them just doesn’t want to remember. It’s easier to live peacefully when they can focus on their memories of the Neo World Program. Sometimes it really does just feel like all their lives before this were nothing but nightmares. When you don’t need to look at the consequences of your actions it’s surprisingly easy. 

  Kazuichi doesn’t reply, he just hums quietly and shifts a step or two closer to Byakuya. Even as he moves closer he leaves a good three meters between them, not daring to push the boundaries. Byakuya looks like they couldn’t care less about whatever they are doing though. There’s only one thing he’s keeping an eye on.

  “Jabberwock island.” His voice vibrates deeply as he speaks, “How can it both look exactly the same and completely different.”

  That’s the million dollar question. As usual the program is almost certainly to blame. Who knew human psychology could be so fascinating? Okay maybe fascinating isn’t the right word but the feeling still stands. 

  “Everything is so screwed up with our heads now.” Kazuichi grumbles as he lays his head down on his arm. Letting out a long weighty sigh.

  “They were always messed up.” Byakuya mutters wistfully, still locking his eyes with the distant islands hanging on the horizon. 

  An hour passes and then another, but Hajime makes no move to hurry them up. It’s not like they need to rush straight down - isn’t it better to spend their waiting time up here instead. After a while he takes a seat on the floor of the roof, swinging his legs out over the edge once more. The breeze is stronger now than it had been last time he was up here, his legs are knocked into the side of the roof over and over but he doesn’t bother moving them. Instead he presses his head against the railing until the cold metal stings his very bones. 

  The others might be looking for them but he’ll deal with that when it comes to it. Right now the rest of the world might as well not exist. They’ve earned this little moment even if it is nothing more than a little one. 

  “Which island do you think was which?” Kazuichi mumbles, dropping himself down on one side of Hajime as Byakuya takes the other side. All three of them pressed side by side. Only just stopping short of actually touching as they try to lean forwards to look past the edge of the building. 

  “That one over there would have been the first island. And that one would have been the second.” Byakuya points at each one with ease and with such confidence that it takes him a few seconds to even realise that Byakuya had never gotten to see anything beyond their first island and the central one. 

  “How do you even know this stuff? I never questioned it in the program but it’s hard not to be curious.” Kazuichi puffs out his cheeks, pressing his entire face against the bars. 

  However Byakuya just shrugs nonchalantly, “I always liked the idea of Jabberwock island growing up. And it was the kind of place Togami would know so I had to research it.”

  It’s easy to forget he’s anything but Byakuya when you see him like this. That is the power of an ultimate he supposes. Everyone always calls Nagito’s ability a superpower but he thinks he might be more jealous of Byakuya’s. Then again he says that like he doesn’t have the talent himself…sometimes it’s easy to forget all about that side of his life. To lose himself in this moment here and now. 

  “You know in all the years of being friends with you I never actually asked what your real name was. It wasn’t in the files from Hope’s Peak that we found in the library and you never did tell us.”

  “I never had a name, at least not one that I remembered.” Byakuya says it completely casually as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. 

  The curious part of him wants to probe further. It wants to drag all the questions out until there’s no mystery left but there’s no point in that. For once this isn’t a secret someone is keeping from them. This is their entire existence. Instead he holds his tongue and focuses out at the ocean. 

  “Really, never? What do you want us to call you then?”

  “I -” They scrunch they eyes as tightly as possible, “I’m not sure. Byakuya works fine for now though. I think I prefer that to Ryota.” 

  Ryota…the name brings a face to his mind. He’d not met the boy many times - their paths diverged pretty early when everything went to shit. He doesn’t think that even Junko kept tabs on the reclusive boy. Just another existance that faded into nothing. Once he had fullfilled his role there was no other point to him. 

  It makes sense he would have once been a part of this class given his age but he’d never once seen him with any of them. He hadn’t appeared in any of Sonia’s stories either - at least not as anything other than Byakuya’s identity at the time. Nothing more than a ghost in the grand scheme of things. 

  “Byakuya it is then.” He purses his lip and nods in acknowledgement. Who is he to deny their choice of name? It’s probably better than the alternative of just calling them Imposter for the rest of time.

  “Thanks, we should probably head back now then right. I didn’t mean to take too much of you time.” Byakuya coughs awkwardly as they pull themselves back upright. As soon as they’re upright they turns so both him and Kazuichi can see nothing except their back. 

  Hajime does his best to pretend he doesn’t notice the way Byakuya’s arm comes up to brush their face. Shielding it further still and yet it somehow is the most revealing movement of all. 

  Nevertheless they both follow suit, brushing themselves down as they regain their footing. Forcing themselves to stand against the harsh wall of wind once more. 

  “Nah, it’s fine. It was nice getting out of that room for a change.” Kazuichi waves it off with ease. 

  “Yeah, it was a favour to us really.”

  Byakuya turns around slowly their eyes narrowed but their expression is soft, “Are you sure?” 

  The words seem foreign coming from Byakuya’s mouth of all places. It’s not like they’ve been maintaining the ‘Byakuya’ persona since they woke up but it hits him more than ever in this moment. In the back of his mind he wonders if this is the first time he’s ever truly met them. 

  “We wouldn’t lie to you dude!” They both try to convince them but nothing they say has any effect on their expression. All words completely bounce off of their cool exterior. 

  “Well thanks anyway.”

  As they begin leaving the roof he looks over his shoulder one last time at deep red sky that now hovers above them. But then the door seals behind them and they’re locked inside once again.

  Kazuichi hums wistfully as they begin the long trek down, “It’ll be nice to come back here as a whole group when were all awake.”

  “Yeah, that’ll be nice…” He tries to force himself to smile. 

  After seeing how the Mahiru and Fuyuhiko interaction went who knows if they’ll ever do something as a group together again. Their little group might be broken beyond repair but he doesn’t dare say that to Kazuichi. 

  Even if he doesn’t believe it will ever happen, he’s happy just listening to Kazuichi and Byakuya’s plans for activities as they slowly make the trek down. Who knows, maybe he’ll be wrong. Maybe.

~~~

09/05 - 08:50

  After parting ways with Byakuya they settle back down in front of the chambers again. They still have hours to wait and there’s no one around as far as the eye can see. Fuyuhiko must still be with Peko and Sonia is off in her room somewhere as Akane takes over watching the others.

  “Is there anything else we need to do before Hiyoko wakes up?” Kazuichi hums, meandering around the room. 

  “No, we should be all good.” 

  “Well do you want to have a go with these?” He holds up a small pack of card, waving them about in front of Hajime playfully. 

  “Where did you even get those?” Of all the things he thought he would see here this wasn’t one of them. He supposes even future foundation members need entertainment sometimes.

  “I found it in one of the draws in the common room. It was covered in dust so I doubt Naegi and the others even knew it was there.”

  Without wasting a second, the sit cross legged on the floor facing each other. As Kazuichi pulls the cards out Hajime holds his hand out silently until Kazuichi hands the cards over. With the casual flick of his wrist he begins reshuffling the cards. Kazuichi stares in amazement at the ease with which he handles the cards.

  “Dude, is there anything you can’t do?” He could list a million things but he figures Kazuichi is meaning it more metaphorically. 

  He flicks the cards from hand to hand, enjoying the way the flutter about gracefully, “What do you want to play?” 

  “Hmmm…I actually don’t really know any card games.” Kazuichi scratches the back of his neck and looks away. He’s not sure why but he always got the vibe that Kazuichi would be the sort of person who would love games like these. 

  “Well I can teach you some if you’d like. There’s just two of us so that rules out quite a few games but we could place gin rummy.” He shrugs nonchalantly, dealing them each a hand. 

  It’s not like he’s ever actually played card games - it turns out effectively bringing about the apocalypse doesn’t leave much time for games. Nevertheless that doesn’t discount the rules that still float about in his head. He can’t help but wonder where he even learned the rules in the first place. Was it an ultimate talent or was this something he did before all of this? Before Izuru…  

  “Sure, sounds good.”

  The game isn’t exactly intuitive for Kazuichi but he’s smiling the entire time anyway. That’s probably the only thing that matters anyway - even if he does have to explain the same rules over and over. 

  Even as they’re playing he finds himself peeking over at the clock constantly as if that’s somehow going to make time speed up. On paper it sounds so easy to just wait around for things to happen but all these breaks are chipping away at him. It’s like they’re just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

  It’s only been three days since Naegi and the others left and they haven’t heard anything back yet. He assumes that’s probably a good thing but it doesn’t put him any more at ease. The awareness of time passing by beginning to niggle at the edges of his mind. 

  “Akane, what are you doing here?” 

  Kazuichi’s voice pulls him out of his own head. Blinking rapidly he scans to room only to see Akane leaning against the frame of the doorway. Her hair has finally been pulled back into a messy bun on the top of her head and her eyes are lined with bags but her sharp teeth glisten as she grins. 

  “What am I not allowed here?” She pushes off the frame and stalks towards them. Her hands are neatly tucked away in her pockets. 

  “No, it’s fine,” He shoves Kazuichi’s arm, “We just thought you were meant to be watching the others.”

  “That’s borin’ besides, no ones around they’re all in their rooms.”

  He can’t blame her really. Everything has been dead quiet beyond this room. Given the situation he doesn’t blame anyone for taking time to themselves, it doesn’t make the for the most lively place though. Maybe that will just come with time though… Hopefully. 

  “It’s fine, Hiyoko should be waking up soon anyway.” He jabs behind him at the chamber nearest the door where Hiyoko is still locked away. 

  Taking that as enough of an invitation she drops herself down beside them both and leans around to examine Hajme’s cards. “What are you two up to then?” She pokes at cards tentatively. 

  “I found some cards so we’re just passing time.” Kazuichi reaches forward and fans out his cards to show the selection to a wide eyed Akane. Normally he’d be worried about her giving things away but this is Akane they’re talking about. 

  “Let me join! I always sucked at card but it’ll be fun with you dudes!”

  Fun is certainly one word for it. Suddenly Kazuichi looks like a quick study. He’s starting to understand what people mean when they say they want to pull their hair out. Pulling nails would probably be less painful than trying to deal with Akane and Kazuichi simultaneously. It’s a relief when he finally catches sight of Alter Ego’s signal once again.

  Without wasting a second he throws his cards down and runs over to the chamber, “Hiyoko is ready now!”

  As he yells, he points Akane and Kazuichi towards the computer to be ready for the count down. They both scramble to their feet, barely making it in time to give him the signal. 

  However unlike the last few times as Hiyoko’s eyes flutter open she lurches forward, gasping for air frantically. Her entire body heaving, hands rapidly scratching at her face. After weeks of remaining in the machine, her nails have grown sharp. Each one leaving long red streaks all the way down her face but that doesn’t stop her from continuing to attack her face relentlessly. 

  “Hiyoko!” He darts forward, tightly gripping both wrists in a single hand. Without a second thought he forcibly drags her hands away from her face until there is no way she can keep attacking herself, “Hiyoko, its okay. You’re okay now.” 

  The words do nothing though. In fact her breathing only gets shallower and shallower before they start stuttering uncomfortably. As he pulls her headpiece off her bloodshot eyes well up with thick tears. Her hands still buck chaotically against his grip but she doesn’t stand a chance. 

  “Hiyoko it’s okay, just breath in!” Akane crouches down to her level as she tries to speak over the sound of Hiyoko’s gargled breaths.

  As expected it does nothing to quell the other girls panic. Her chest is rising and falling with the speed of a hummingbird. Is she even breathing? He can practically hear her heart beat thundering from here. 

 Unsure of what else to do, he reaches into the chamber and scoops her up into his arms until he can lift her out. She’s not as small as the image of her that is still in his mind but she isn’t exactly big. Trying to be as gentle as possible he pulls her tightly to his chest, keeping a one hand on the top of her head the same way he had seen Mahiru do it in the past when Hiyoko was upset. His other hand refuses to release her wrists. Normally giving her space would be best but he’s almost certain she would instantly start clawing herself again.

  “Akane, grab the blanket!” He shouts at the top of his lungs at Akane as he cradles Hiyoko even closer. Everywhere his skin touches hers burns and her entire body is practically vibrating, “Kazuichi, go and get Mahiru! We need her here as soon as possible.”

  He barks the orders with ease and, much to his relief, the others instantly jump into motion. They both vanish from view but he doesn’t let his focus drift from Hiyoko for even a second. Within seconds Akane is draping a blanket over Hiyoko, cocooning the girl as best she can. 

  “It’s okay Hiyoko. It’s all over. You’re safe and alive now. Mahiru is here and she’ll look after you.” He tries his best to speak to her, looking into her eyes. Praying she is listening, “I know you’re panicking but try to copy my breaths.” 

  He over exaggerates every breath and slowly Hiyoko begins mimicking him. The breaths are still shallow and flimsy but at least it’s some progress. The slower her breathing gets the more she leans into him, her pale, sticky head resting against his arm as her eyes flutter closed. For a moment he thinks she’s going to pass out but instead -

  “Jesus christ!” Akane flinches back as Hiyoko twists her head to the side and throws up all over the floor. Without solid food in her stomach it must be mostly bile. The smell alone makes his stomach churn but he holds strong.

  “Can you get her some water or something?” He keeps his voice as low as he can but thankfully Akane still hears him as she runs off to grab something.

  Hiyoko is shaking in his arms once again but this time it is slower and more deliberate. As he looks down at her face he sees fat tears rolling down her cheeks. Small flecks of vomit are still clinging to her but she only sobs harder. Her entire face is twisted and screwed up.

  “I promise you’ll be okay.” He whispers into her hair but he has no idea if she can even hear him. She just keeps shaking, her tears spilling all over his t-shirt. 

  He hold her like that until three figures come running into the room. One of them slides across the floor, completely unbothered by the pool of vomit around them, and pries Hiyoko out of his grip. Mahiru pulls the shaking girl into her arms and places herself directly into Hiyoko’s line of sight. 

  “Hiyoko, you’re okay now. I’m here with you.” 

  Hiyoko’s crackly voice finally rings out, “M-Mahiru?” It’s hardly the nicest sound but he finds himself clinging to every syllable. Finally taking in a long breath. 

  “Yeah, it’s me.” Mahiru gently smooths down the girls hair and brushes tears off of her cheeks.

  “I-I-I saw…I-I s-saw your d-dead body-y.” Each word splutters out awkwardly but he’s just relieved she can speak at all.

  Being as subtle as he can he slides away from the pair, giving them as much space as possible. However he doubts they would notice him moving even if he ran off. 

  “I know but I’m okay now. Hajime fixed us both.”

  “F-Fixed…I t-thought I l-lost you.” Hiyoko finally sits up somewhat. Her spindly arms are thrown around Mahiru’s neck as the other girl cradles her close.

  Mahiru slips a hand under Hiyoko’s legs and places the other on her lower back so she can gently lift the girl. Cradling her more like a baby than anything else. He instinctively wants to rush forward and help but he pulls himself back. He’s probably gotten more involved than he should have already. Besides, despite how much taller Hiyoko is now, Mahiru is still just about able to support the girls weight. Her legs wobble somewhat as they’re still recovering but there’s no other sign that she’s even carrying anything at all. He has no idea if it’s the adrenaline that has her moving without the walker but she makes it look easy. 

  “I’m not leaving you now, okay?” Mahiru tries to gently readjust her hold on Hiyoko without dropping the poor trembling girl, “I’ll take her back to my room for now. I think she just needs to calm down a little.”

  'Calm down' is one way to say it... 

  Nevertheless they all step back and give Mahiru a clear path across the hall. Akane is left waiting by the doorway, glass of water still in hand. 

  As he looks down he notices his hand is trembling. Tears and vomit stain him but he doesn’t dare move. It’s like his body doesn’t want to respond to him anymore. The smell of everything is overwhelming him, smothering his mind and making his head spin uncomfortably. 

  “Iz- Hajime? Hajime? You good?” Kazuichi’s hand tentatively reaches forward, poking his arm. 

  Shaking his head clear he looks down at himself, “Hmm? Yeah, I’m okay. We should clean this up.”

  None of them are exactly enthusiastic about the idea but they work together to find a mop and tackle the mess Hiyoko has left behind. He pretends he doesn’t notice the way Kazuichi gags with every sweep. He can’t say he blames him either. Even just looking at the stuff is making him a little light headed, let alone thinking about the smell. 

  It’s a relief when they finally have it mostly cleaned up. He suspects they might need to just throw out the mop at this point though. He’s certainly not touching the damn thing again. 

  “Hajime, I think you need to go clean yourself up.” Kazuichi clears his throat and nods at the mess still coating Hajime.

  His shirt is still slightly damp, tears and sweat sticking the material to his skin uncomfortably. Every strand still reeks, the vomit has well and truly seeped into the fabric by now. He wants to be able to argue back but Kazuichi is right. He really really needs a shower.

  “Yeah…I’ll wash myself up. Just keep an eye on this place while I’m gone. I’ll hurry back.”

  Akane and Kazuichi give him an encouraging thumbs up, still plugging their noses up by pinching their noses. They’re always so supportive…

  As soon as he gets back to his room he rips off his clothes and banishes them to the corner of the room. Sure, they could both be easily washed but he’s certainly not going to be the one to wash them. He’s had more than enough of that smell to last him a life time. 

  He seals himself up in the shower, letting himself soak in the scalding hot water. Bit by bit he lets the water burn away all the mess and smells. Cleansing himself. He scrubs and scrubs and scrubs until no trace of the earlier encounter remains and then he sits down on the shower floor, letting the water cascade over his head. God he needs rest. 

~~~

09/05 - 20:10

  Everyone else has long gone by now leaving him all alone in the room to wait for Ibuki to finally awaken. Akane had practically passed out before heading off to bed and Kazuichi had excused himself without explaining where he was going. Part of him had considered trying to find Sonia but he probably shouldn’t bother her. Not when she’s finally resting. Instead he settles down with a book, legs up on the desk in front of the computer. 

  However as the time ticks by still no one arrives. No matter how long he waits Kazuichi never reappears. Where the hell could he have gone? It’s not like there are many places to go in this building - unless he’s gone through the locked door to examine other parts of the building. Even when the time for Alter Ego’s signal is upon them he’s no where to be seen.

  Without anyone else to rely on he grabs the computer screen and twists it to the side so the screen faces the chambers in the room around him. This way he will still be able to see the countdown even if no one else shows up. 

  Taking the reins himself, he situates himself in front of Ibuki’s chamber, hand ready over the button as he looks at the screen diligently. He waits in empty silence hearing his own heartbeat in his ears. 

  Images of Hiyoko earlier flash before his mind. The others had all been relatively fine when they woke up but not Hiyoko. What if Ibuki is in the same state? They had Mahiru to help with Hiyoko but who could help if Ibuki was in such a state? He has no idea who they would even call out for that. 

  Unfortunately he has no time to even consider it any further. As he stands there the screen lights up and he jumps into action. There is no time for him to think he only needs to act. They can deal with anything Ibuki throws at them they just need her awake and alive. 

  Without wasting any more thoughts he slams his hand down on the button and watches Ibuki buckle under the stress. In a split second her eyes flutter open as she comes back to consciousness. 

  “W-Whats going on?” Ibuki mumbles blearily as her head moves about awkwardly within the machine. She strains her neck ever so slightly as she tries to peer out over the edge. 

  “You’re going to be a little confused but for now just focus on getting to your feet. Do you want help?” He holds a hand out towards her. 

  “Thanks.” She takes his hand and he pulls her upright. They link their arms together as he takes on her weight. Hobbling together, they manage to pull her free. One arm is still linked with his while the other grips onto the edge of the chamber. She sways against him, her feet slipping against the ground. Even as she flounders about she giggles to herself. 

  “W-Woah, this is so weird.” She keeps giggling like a school girl. As she walks forward she places one foot directly in front of the other as if she’s walking a tightrope. “How long was I in there?” The hand that had been resting on the chamber now flies up to press against her temple. 

  “We were all in there a few weeks, the entire time we were in the Neo World Program.” He answers cautiously, trying to feel out what state Ibuki is in. The last thing they need is to have another situation like Hiyoko. 

  “Neo World Program…” Ibuki winces as she curls her hands into tight fists, “Oh yeah…so that wasn’t a nightmare…” Hearing Ibuki without her characteristic energy feels foreign and wrong. Given the situation though perhaps it would be stranger for her to still be her normal self. 

  “Unfortunately not…”

  “I see…I died then…Ha, that’s so weird!” Ibuki forces a chuckle as her legs wobble underneath her. Her smile is shallow and broken - never quite reaching her eyes.

  He jumps back, his arm tightening around Ibuki’s, “Wait are you okay?” 

  Ibuki frowns anxiously before she notices it, her hand shifting to wipe below her nose. Thick blood is dripping down from her nose over the ridge of her lip. She does her best to wipe it away but that just leaves a pink smear across her cheek. More blood instantly takes its place making the whole attempt pointless.

  “Aaaah! This is super uber bad right?!” Ibuki starts breathing faster and faster, her hand soaked through with blood. 

  “No! No, it’ll be fine.” He gives her a gentle squeeze and pulls more of her weight onto him. “We just need to get you cleaned up. Your body has been through a large amount of stress.”

  It takes longer than he would like for them to stumble over to the kitchen. As soon as they reach it he slides her onto a chair and runs off to grab her some tissues. Handing them over to her she pinches her nose and tilts her head upwards. Almost instantaneously it turns bright pink and small droplets begin dripping down. 

  “Here, take some more.” He shovels some more tissues into her hand and takes all her old bloody ones to the bin. 

  They sit there for a while constantly replenishing her tissues for a few minutes until the flow of blood finally dies down somewhat. Both of them are surrounded by a sea of blood, drops smeared across the table, their clothes and her own face. Normally it wouldn’t be too worrying for someone to have a nose bleed but given how long she’s effectively been comatose it’s not the most promising sign. 

  “Ibuki doesn’t know why she has a nosebleed. Ibuki doesn’t think she was that excited.” Ibuki mumbles nervously as she does her best to wipe up some of the drying blood. 

  “Well since its stopped now it’s probably fine, I’ll grab you some food though. That might help you feel a little better.”

  Dinner has probably long since come and gone by this point but it’s not like there is anything that says they have to stick to a specific schedule. Ibuki doesn’t say anything but he takes her silence as her agreeing and begins moving about the kitchen, scrounging up some food. Even though it’s just the two of them he decides to make a large batch after all the kitchen has been suspiciously silent for the last few hours. He wouldn’t be surprised if everyone has been avoiding eating. 

  Not wanting to make anything too heavy he whips up a batch of ramen and slides a steaming bowl in front of Ibuki. Only when the food is right in front of her does she fully dispose of all of her tissues so she can properly take a bite.

  Although she’s grinning brightly, blood is still smeared all across her making for a surprisingly horrific scene. Part of him wants to grab a wet cloth and clean her up like she’s a toddler but it’s probably more important that she eats than that she looks presentable. 

  “Hopefully it’s not too hot.” He mumbles as he pours out another bowl for himself and takes a seat at the table beside her. 

  “It’s bombastic! I never knew Hajime was such a good cook!” Ibuki manages to squeeze out the words between heaping spoons of food. Ramen broth spills all around the table but he can’t bring himself to care about that right now. 

  “Well, it’s a bit of a new development.” 

  How are you even supposed to explain the Izuru situation to people? He assumes she’s at least somewhat aware of who he is - or was - but sometimes he can’t tell for sure with Ibuki. 

  For a while they eat quietly, nothing but the sounds of Ibuki messily scarfing down food to keep them company. However after a few minutes when the bowls start looking a little emptier she leans back in her chair, eyeing up Hajime cautiously. 

  “So…you woke Ibuki up from that computer game right?” She spins her chopsticks around in the bowl as she speaks.

  “Basically. Because you…died in there it was a little more complicated but you effectively woke up.”

  “Ibuki remembers how horrible it was seeing Teruteru, Byakuya, Mahiru and Peko dying. And…” Ibuki swallows hard, closing her eyes for a moment, “And Ibuki remembers what happened Hiyoko. What about the others?”

  He supposes it makes sense that she would be aware of what happened to Hiyoko, she had been present at the murder after all. Maybe part of him just hoped that she had been too out of it to truly pick up on anything that happened. Of course life could never be that easy though. Ibuki had to remember every second of what happened just like all the others. 

  “We already woke all of those guys up. They’re all healthy and alive again. After you died…Mikan got executed for your murder. And then we lost Gundham, Nekomaru and Nagito.” He leaves out Chiaki all together. Unlike him, she should be fully aware of what this all means for Chiaki. If she remembers everything from before then they already know what happened to her. 

  “I see…but the rest of you were all okay though?” She perks up ever so slightly, even now trying to find a slight silver lining amongst the fog and mud. 

  “Yes, the rest of us made it out. I don’t know how okay any of us really are but we didn’t have to go through what you guys did.”

  Ibuki drops her chopsticks and frowns, “Where are the others now then? Ibuki thinks it’s kinda sad eating on our lonesome. Didn’t you make food for everyone?” 

  “Yeah, they’re all in their rooms now though. The only one that’s left is Byakuya.” And Mahiru but he isn’t sure if that really counts. Would she have left of her own free will if Hiyoko hadn’t been in pain?

  Out of nowhere Ibuki suddenly pushes out from her chair and tries to stand. Unsurprisingly it isn’t quite as gallant or elegant as Ibuki might be imagining. As if there’s nothing but ice beneath her feet she instantly begins slipping. She’s only held upright by the firm grip that she holds on the table. 

  “Woah, be careful. I know you’re strong but your muscles are still weak at the moment.” He dives forward as fast as he can and slips his arm through hers once again.

  “Whoops, Ibuki probably should have thought that through before getting up.” She chuckles nervously but leans into him for support. He really should get her walker sooner rather than later.

  “What are you even trying to do?”

  “Everyone should get food. They definitely won’t come out of they don’t know food is here.” She hardens her expression resolutely.

  He wants to tell her there’s no point and that she’s getting her hopes up for nothing but he refrains. Who knows, they got Akane to come out when they were beginning to think it was impossible so maybe it will work?

  Still moving about together they knock on each door in turn, yelling out promises of food. No one opens the door but that isn't enough for Ibuki to drop her smile.

  “Ibuki can’t wait until everyone is together again.” Ibuki mumbles as she plays with her food.

  Everyone, huh? He wonders whether she would be including Mikan in that. Knowing Ibuki she probably would despite everything. But even if she is happy to have Mikan around not everyone else will feel the same way about their own situations. Her dreams are just that.

  “Yeah? What do you want to do when everyone is together?” 

  “Hmmmm…we should have a big concert! We never got to finish the Fuyuhiko recovery party after all.”

  The recovery party… After everything that happened that evening he almost forgot about it all together.

  “That would be -” He starts to speak but Ibuki stares right past him, her eyes sparkling.

  “Sonia!” She throws her arms up and waves the other girl over. Grin toothy as her entire expression lights up brilliantly.

  “I did not realise you had awoken Ibuki! I would have woken up if I had known!” 

  Sonia immediately wraps Ibuki up in a hug, burying her face in Ibuki's long hair. Ibuki grips the back of Sonia's shirt tightly as she screws her eyes shut. Neither one of them is willing to make the first move to part.

  They’re so wrapped up in each other they don’t even notice as Byakuya hangs around the corner, not quite daring to take a proper step in. From their hidden away spot they watch the entire exchange between Ibuki and Sonia.

  “Shall I pour you both some bowls?” He looks between Byakuya and Sonia as he moves over towards the kitchen.

  “Oh, yes please.”

  Everyone takes a seat at the table as he brings the steaming bowls over. Even though Ibuki has already finished most of her food she stays at the table, holding her head with her hands.

  “You should have seen the theme park island! We traveled on a roller coaster which was amazing.” Sonia coos between bites of food. Her hands whoosh about as if she’s trying to follow the path of the roller coaster from memory. 

  “A theme park?! Oh mannn! I can’t believe Ibuki missed out on the fun!” Ibuki pouts and curls her fists into her hair.

  It makes him wonder if there are even still roller coasters and theme parks out there in the world or have they all already been lost to time? If there are still some out there perhaps they can finally take Ibuki and the others out to one when they leave this place. 

  “It seems things got much stranger after I…left.” Byakuya coughs into their hand casually, half choking on their own words or perhaps its the noodles. 

  “Stranger is one way to put it.” Hajime scoffs under his breath, too quietly for the others to hear. 

  “It was strange and scary but there were good moments too.” Sonia maintains a firm and cheery smile.

  Normally the idea of finding any good moments in that place would be crazy but given the world they’ve come from he can’t say he disagrees. Especially now they are able to bring back their lost friends. After everything they have done in reality maybe there were moments in the Neo World that were better than what they could feel in the real world. 

  “Yeah, totally! It was really scary when people were dying but when we were sending off Mahiru and having fireworks on the beach and when we had the party for Fuyuhiko it was uber fun! Kinda makes me sad that we aren’t classmates anymore.” 

  “Yes, I am afraid our days of studying together are long gone. Perhaps we can all stick together though, even after all this.”

  It’s a warm and gentle thought but he’s pretty sure they all - even Ibuki - understand it’s not going to happen. Nevertheless they all leave the table with hope in their hearts and that’s all they can ask for. 

Chapter Text

10/05 - 03:33

  “How’s he doing Akane?” Hajime asks quietly as he steps into the room. Trying to keep his voice low enough to not be disruptive but loud enough for Akane to hear him. 

  Two plates are in his hands, both stacked with sandwiches and a small bowl of the leftover ramen from dinner. Being as gentle as he can, he sets one of the plates beside Akane, balancing it on the edge of the chamber tentatively. 

  Akane is perched on one of the dining room chairs she had dragged through into the room. Ever since she had woken up an hour or two ago she’d been locked into this spot of the room, staring down into Nekomaru’s chamber with an uncharacteristic wistfulness marring her features. It’s not often that he wishes he could see into the gymnasts mind but this is most certainly one of those moments. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen her this quiet and still for this long. Who knew it was even possible? 

  “I mean, he ain’t awake. He’s just like the rest of ‘em.” She nods around at the last few remaining chamber. Four more in total. To imagine just a few days ago it was crazy to imagine ever regaining their lost friends and now they’re here. It might not have all gone exactly how he would have hoped but given the situation they should enjoy this moment while they can. 

  “He will be soon. After Mikan he will be the next one in line.” 

  “Hmmmm…”

  He wants to ask her so many questions. He wants to know what she’s going to say to him. How is she feeling? What is she going to say to him? But he thinks better of it, instead grabbing a chair from the desk and pulling it up beside Mikan’s chamber, setting his food down on the edge.

  For a moment they just sit together in silence as he begins eating his food. As always Akane’s sits completely untouched on the side. He doesn’t have enough energy to try and push her on the food right now though. Not when she’s already in this state. Maybe when Nekomaru is awake again he can knock some sense into her but for now she at least has food ready in case she changes her mind. 

  He looks around cautiously, examining the emptiness, “Have you seen Kazuichi around?” 

  The other boy has been gone for hours now. Neither hide nor hair has been seen anywhere. It’s not normal for him to be gone this long. Could he have gone straight to bed? Hajime is certain he would have seen Kazuichi pass by though and last time he had chosen to sleep in here. Still there is no denying he’s been missing for hours. 

  “Kazuichi? He’s gone?” 

  Ah, so no help here then. Well, he knew it was a long shot. 

  “Yeah, I haven’t seen him since before Ibuki woke up.” 

  He tries to think about what Kazuichi had been talking about before he excused himself but nothing comes to mind. Everything had been completely normal as far as he was concerned. He supposes he just needs to have faith that he’s okay. He’ll probably just wander back whenever he’s done. 

  Checking the clock he shovels down a few more bites of his sandwich before standing up and brushing himself down. It’s getting pretty close to the time now so he should probably start looking for Sonia. She had made him promise to fetch her for Mikan so she doesn’t miss the wake up time again. He hates to think of what she would say if he didn’t bring her along. This time she might really strangle him. 

  Before leaving, he shuffles a little closer to Akane, checking in on her tentatively, “I’m just going to grab Sonia, are you okay staying here?” He asks as if she hadn’t been sitting here alone for ages before he came storming in. 

  “Yeah, ‘course.” Her jaw tightens but she doesn’t move her head an inch as she speaks. 

  He knows he should be able to trust Akane and yet he finds himself jogging back across the hall and along to Sonia’s room. It’s not like Akane is careless but with her in this state who knows if she would be paying attention to the screen and signals - not that there should be any given the current time. The sooner he gets back the better, just in case…

  Almost instantly after he knocks on the door it swings open. Sonia is stood in the doorway but over her shoulder he can spot Ibuki sat cross legged on the floor. Her hair is swept over one shoulder, small plaits weaved into the strands. 

  “Ibuki? I thought you were meant to be resting.” He frowns, narrowing his eyes. 

  When they had parted ways after the meal she had promised she would get a good nights rest to regain some energy. He should have realised she wouldn’t be able to be kept down for long though. It would be a miracle if she rested at all. 

  “Ah…” She chuckles awkwardly, poking her index fingers together shyly, “Ibuki couldn’t sleep so Sonia offered to chat with Ibuki for a little bit.”

  It’s not like he doesn’t remember how it felt when he had only just woken up. Given how these guys also had to experience death he can only imagine how their nights must be… Now he thinks about it he’s spent so little time in the rooms here since starting work that he has no idea if the nightmares are filling the corridors. From all the way out by the Neo World Program he doesn’t hear the other people waking up like he used to. Although all things considered that probably for the best. 

  “Hajime, is it already time?” Sonia snaps him out of his thoughts, her face stern and serious. Sharp lines cover her entire face. 

  “Uh, yes.”

  Ibuki perks up curiously, doing her best to try and stand up despite her weakened form. Wobbling meekly, “Time for what?” She reaches up to grab onto a walker just behind her, using that to pull her onto two feet once again. Finally regaining some sense of balance. 

  Not wasting a second, he leans past Sonia to explain, “Mikan is going to wake up soon.”

  “My apologies Ibuki, I will be back soon but I would like to be around when Mikan wakes up. You can remain in here if you would like or you could go and visit one of the others. I am sure Hiyoko and Mahiru would not mind your company.” Sonia bows deeply as she speaks. 

  However even as Sonia speaks, Ibuki swallows hard. Leaning tentatively against the walker, “Actually, can I come too?” 

  “You want to come?” He raises one eyebrow. 

  Being okay with Mikan coming back is one thing, but is she sure about this? After what happened with Fuyuhiko and Mahiru earlier is this really a good idea? He supposes that time it had been the ‘killer’ approaching the victim. If the victim is the one wanting to approach then who is he to stop her? It’s not like Ibuki would want to hurt Mikan after all. 

  “Are you sure?”

  “Ibuki is sure.” Ibuki’s eyes are hard and sharp. It’s so foreign seeing such seriousness painted across her face for once. If she’s making this face then her mind is well and truly made up. 

  Clapping her hands together Sonia exclaims, “Okay then, let us leave together. Just tell us if you would like to return at any point.”

  Half walking and half hobbling down the corridor they manage to make their way into the next room. Even though Ibuki had just come out of this place a few hours ago she drinks the sight in with eager eyes. He doesn’t miss the way she stares at each of the chambers in turn, counting up the still filled chambers around the room. 

  “Ah, Akane! I was wondering where you were.” Sonia waves gracefully as she steps into the room, snapping Akane to attention. 

  “Sorry, I’ve just been here the last few hours.” Akane moves to wave it off but freezes as she catches sight of Ibuki shuffling in wide eyed, “Ibuki, you’re here too?”

  “Yep, Sonia and Hajime said it was okay.” For a second Ibuki looks between him and Sonia anxiously but he quickly offers her a reassuring nod. If he allowed Fuyuhiko to join with Mahiru then he’s not stopping Ibuki now.

  “Yes, it might be nice for them to see each other. Perhaps seeing Ibuki alive will comfort Mikan somewhat.” Sonia offers up hopefully. 

  Given the way they left things off with Mikan in the past he’s not really sure what to expect from her. Will she react the same way everyone else has or will the despair disease have caused irreparable damage? They will find out soon enough.

  Trying to make Ibuki as comfortable as possible, Hajime drags his old chair away from Mikan’s chamber, setting it closer to the doorway in case Ibuki wants to make a quick escape. Holding one of her arms, he helps her settle herself down in the chair. Leaving the walker at her side where she can grab it at a moments notice. As he settles her down, Sonia wanders over towards Akane. Leaning over Nekomaru and whispering something to Akane. 

  As they settle down to wait he moves about the room with his plate of food, offering refreshments to Sonia and Ibuki. They both take a sandwich each and nibble away as the time ticks by.

  “Jeeez, this is taking longer than I thought.” Ibuki groans, leaning to one side to rest her head on the side of the walker. 

  “Yeah, it’s a lotta waitin’!” Akane chuffs.

  “Unfortunately it isn’t a precise timing, it is more general and vague than we might prefer.”

  “We just need to keep a look out for when the signal comes through.”

  Sure enough, it doesn’t end up taking much longer. Even though they’re all already braced for the moment, it still manages to catch them off guard as the signal finally rings out.

  By not they don’t need so much as a word before jumping into action. Sonia leaves Akane and Nekomaru’s side to run to the desk, watching the screen diligently as she nods over to him. Her jaw set as a dark fog covers her eyes. 

  As if sensing the rising tension, Ibuki begins to bounce her foot up and down until it is a thundering roar against the ground. His spine tingles at the noise but he digs his nails into the heel of his palm to remind himself not to say anything. This is probably just her way of coping, that’s all it is. 

  “Ready?” Sonia shouts out across the room, sending a jolt of energy through his body.

  “Yes!” 

  “3…2…1…” As the countdown reaches zero he slams the button down once again. 

  Just like every other time, Mikan bucks upwards as she rushes back to life. Behind him he can hear Ibuki jumping up, her walker clattering as she tries to yank it into place. He does his best to ignore her though, Mikan needs all his attention right now. Hopefully Akane goes and help Ibuki while he’s busy. 

  Her eyes slam open at once - pale purple staring blankly up at the ceiling. He’s certain he must be in her sight range but she doesn’t even glance his way. It’s like nothing else in the world that interests her. Does she even know he’s there? 

  “Mikan? Mikan can you hear me?” He leans in even closer, waving a hand in front of her face but she still doesn’t blink, “Mikan? Just blink if you can hear me.”

  “Is she okay? Did something go wrong?!” Ibuki’s panicked voice calls from the side lines and he can hear the hurried scuffle of the metal brushing against the floor.

  Despite how frozen she had been before, all at once the illusion is shattered before he can react. Like the flood gates had been opened, tears began spilling heavily down her cheeks. Both her arms reach up to brush away the tears with the back of her sleeve. Her bottom lip trembles weakly as she lays there shaking. 

  “Yes, I think she’s okay.” He reaches a hand back trying to hold Ibuki back for a moment. At least until Mikan has pulled herself together somewhat. 

  “Oh thank god…” He can hear Sonia’s soft whisper echo around the room.

  “Mikan, it’s Hajime. Do you remember me?” He tentatively reaches towards her, resting his hand gently against her shoulder to get her attention. Finally her bloodshot eyes drift towards him and recognition flashes in her eyes. 

  “Hajime. Of course. I - I…” Her words catch in her throat as she gulps wet tears. “I-I r-remember everything-g.” Although her hands are still shaky, she does her best to try and rub her eyes and shield her face but she fumbles too much to be successful. 

  “It’s okay, Mikan. None of us care about that right now. We just want to get you back safe and healthy. Can you sit up?” 

  He carefully removes his hand, holding out for her to take instead. Trying to distract her the only way he knows how. After a few seconds her shaky hand finds its way into his as she uses him to pull her upright. Jolting forwards unevenly.

  “H-Hajime -” But before she can finish her thoughts Ibuki has launched herself at the girl.

  “Mikan! Don’t worry Ibuki doesn’t blame you! We’ve all done bad things and that was Monokuma’s fault.” Even though her words sound so resolute they’re punctuated by the sound of tears catching in her throat. He might not be able to see her face but he doesn’t need to to know exactly what she looks like right now. 

  Her arms squeeze around Mikan so tight he is almost worried she’s going to accidentally choke the girl. Mikan, on the other hand, sits there frozen still. Her hand is still gripping Hajime’s but other than that she hasn’t moved at all. More like a deer in the headlights than a touching reunion between old friends. 

  “She’s right Mikan. While it was not pleasant that it happened, we do not blame you. If we did we would be rather hypocritical.” Sonia takes a few steps forwards until she can meet Mikan’s gaze from where she’s being locked away.

  “B-But I…”

  “That’s ol’ news now.” Akane waves nonchalantly but she hasn’t even moved an inch from her chair, “We definitely forgive you.”

  If he had thought the flood gates broke before then he had been severely mistaken. At once a river of tears fall down the dark haired girls face. Her cheeks flush bright pink and her lips wobble but she just clings onto Ibuki even tighter. A lifeline in the endless ocean. 

  Not all hope is quite lost yet. 

  In the end he steps back and lets Ibuki and Sonia sweep up Mikan. Well it’s not exactly ‘letting’, they have helped her leave the chamber and lead her off to her room before Hajime can even get a word in edge ways. It’s probably for the best though - if anyone is going to make her feel better then it will be those two. 

  With the three of them gone there is no one left but him and Akane in the room. Him, Akane and the remaining three classmates. The humming seems to get louder and louder the more he lets himself think about it. The lump in his throat steadily growing. Sometimes, through all the other noises, he could swear he can hear their hearts beating and lungs breathing but of course that is nothing more than his mind playing tricks on him. 

  “Did you really mean that?” He clears his throat and asks cautiously to the silent room.

  “Huh?”

  “Did you really mean what you said to Mikan?”

  He remembers the way she had defended Mikan during that trial. If anyone had been willing to stand by Mikan until the end it had been Akane. The last one standing against the rest of the tide. There was no doubting Mikan had taken good care of Akane during those fateful days but she had betrayed Akane as well as Hiyoko and Ibuki. Akane had stood by her and defended her for nothing.

  “Yeah, ‘course. I wouldn’t lie about that stuff.” Akane states it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “Now we’ve got everyone together it’s better to just forget the past.”

  Forget the past. If only it was that easy. The world would be much simpler if they could just forget. Even with the Neo World Program they didn’t end up getting to forget anything.

  “You’re right.” 

  After that he lets them fall back into an easy silence. As soon as he stops talking he might as well stop existing for Akane. Perhaps it’s better that way though. 

  Instead he seats himself in front of the computer, busying himself with trying to navigate the reams of code. He’s not even sure what he’s looking for at this point. Just busying himself for the sake of it. Anything to kill some time. 

  As he's scanning through he notices a small chat box tucked away deep within everything else. The cursor flickers invitingly. Could this be…?

  Humming to himself he brings his fingers to the keys and types out a short message:

  Hello, is this Alter Ego?

  Yes. Who is this?

  The words pop through almost instantly. At this point he shouldn’t even be surprised. When has Alter Ego not been right there and waiting?

  So he supposes this was how Kirigiri communicated with Alter Ego in the past. Although he had never seen the two of them talking it had been clear they did talk in some way and he is willing to bet Kirigiri wasn’t strapping herself down like he had. Based on what he remembers the only time she ever went in was likely the time they entered to save him and the others. 

  Hajime.

  There is a brief pause for a few seconds before the text flickers back once more. Words lighting up the screen in the blink of an eye. 

  It’s good to hear from you. Is everything okay?

  Yes, everything has been perfect so far. All of them have woken up perfectly well.

  That’s a relief. It is a little worrying when you can’t tell what’s happening. 

  It’s almost all over now - would you like me to keep updating you about the situation though? 

  He’s not really sure why he offers. The words appear on his screen without his brain even considering it but he presses send anyway. He might not be able to see Alter Ego this way but when he closes his eyes he can perfectly imagine what the AI looks like as it speaks. Those big brown eyes trying to hide its enthusiasm at the prospect of the idea. 

  Only if it’s not too much trouble. If it is then it doesn’t matter.

  Of course it isn’t.

  Thank you then. 

  The computer falls still for a moment, the stream of words ending as they both pause. Is it waiting for him to say something? He has no clue what to even begin writing now though. 

  Before you go, how did you find this channel? It was supposed to be private - I thought Kyoko was the only one with access. Did she let you on? Is she with you?

  For a few seconds he pulls back from the keyboard, going through all the conversations he’d had with AI recently. Was he mistaken or did the others not inform Alter Ego of what was going on before they left? In a way he supposes it makes sense, after all they had all been in this room when Naegi came to announce their sudden plans. Perhaps they had believed Hajime or one of the others would inform the AI on their behalf.  

  Kirigiri? 

  Yes, it’s been a bit of time since I last heard from any of them. I assume it is because you have been busy using the machine but I was just wondering how things were going. 

  Kirigiri and the others left a few days ago. The future foundation was getting more aggressive so they left to try and delay them as long as possible. 

  Even though he’s trying his best to be sensitive and honest, the conversation completely falls off on Alter Ego’s side. Silence. It’s deafening. Should he be sending another message? Is Alter Ego still there? Does it believe Hajime or does it think this is a long con lie? 

  I see…hopefully they’re all safe and okay.

  Hopefully.

  It has been days now but there’s still no change on that front. When you’re so swept up in everything else it’s easy to forget about all the things going on in the background. If he begins getting worried now he would be disrespecting Naegi and the others. Faith is all they have to go on. 

  Let me know if you hear from any of them. I haven’t been this far from them in years now…

  He had never really considered if this was the same AI that had been present in the killing game before. Based on the way Junko had obliterated the AI he assumes this isn’t quite the same model - more likely the recovered original Alter Ego. How did they even find it after escaping the killing game? Did they future foundation store away the AI for all this time? 

  I promise I will.

  Thank you. I should probably get back to work keeping an eye or your program - just in case.

  Good luck. We will talk more later.

  No other messages come through, even as the hours start to tick by, yet he simply leans back in his chair. Sighing deeply he reclaims his half finished book and begins thumbing through the pages once again. They can talk again when things are less busy. When the others are happy and healthy. Until then he can keep himself busy. 

~~~

10/05 - 10:15

  For hours it’s just him and Akane. Ibuki and Sonia never make a reappearance, he can’t even hear them pottering around the kitchen or common room. In all likelihood they’re probably still sealed away in Mikan’s room to help her get settled.

  In the back of the mind he wonders if he should be making up some food again but he can’t bear to get up from the chair. If people are hungry then they’re fully capable of using the kitchen themselves. They don’t need him to hold their hand the entire time. 

  In fact he’s so comfortable in his little nook in the corner of the room that he has no intention of moving at all until the signal appears. At least not until he sees a sharp silhouette drift past the door way, trying to duck into the next room. Flashes of pink hair spill out as the shape tries to sneakily dart away.

  Snapping up immediately, he tries to shout down the hall before they can hurry out of earshot, “Kazuichi!” He jumps up and jogs across the room. Leaning past the doorway, he stares into the communal area, hungry eyes searching out the other boy. 

  Kazuichi is still dressed in the same clothes from yesterday, his hair knotted and strands scruffily shooting out all over the place. He’s never been the most tanned guy - probably a result of the years of indoor projects - but he has never looked this ghostly before. At this point his skin might as well be translucent. The only pop of colour on his entire body (hair not with-standing) are the dark bags under his eyes and sharp red veins tracing through his eyes. 

  “Kazuichi! Where did you disappear to?!” He is all too aware of how much he sounds like a lecturing parent but that doesn’t stop him.

  In this place you don’t just get to disappear like that. It's not like there is anywhere to go after all. What if something bad had happened? How long would it take for any of them to even notice?

  “Huh?” Kazuichi blinks slowly, his eyes glazed over. It’s like he’s seeing straight through Hajime.

  Any of his annoyance quickly melts away as he drinks in the sight of his friend, “Are you okay? There’s still a little bit of ramen left if you need some food.”

  “I -” Hajime waits patiently as the other boys mouth opens and closes pathetically like a fish slowly suffocating on the shore, “I’m okay…” His tone is so final and stiff that he instantly expects to see Kazuichi’s back as he resumes stalking back to his room but he doesn’t move. Not even a step. 

  This wasn’t exactly how he saw this conversation going. There was a lot more talking happening in his head, not whatever this is meant to be. 

  “Seriously though, where did you go.”

  In the minute he has to wait before Kazuichi decides to reply, he still expects another confused non answer but instead -

  “I was down in the video room downstairs that Naegi mentioned.” The video room…that can only mean… “I just need to rest. Sorry. I’ll help out with whoever’s left if I feel better later.”

  And just like that Kazuichi runs off again. Before Hajime’s mind has adjusted and fully processed what he’s saying, Kazuichi has slipped away - undoubtedly locking his bedroom door behind him. Even if the door hasn’t been locked it probably isn’t best for him to push the situation right now. It’s not like he doesn’t remember what it was like. If someone had barged in on him when he was still processing things he isn’t sure he would have been able to forgive them. In this world there are some things that people have to do themselves. 

  Reluctantly he takes a deep breath in and shakes his head clear. This isn’t the time to be worrying about Kazuichi. He’ll come out when he’s ready. Instead his eyes flick over to the clock in the communal area, it’s slowly getting to that time yet again. Sonia had made a big deal about wanting to be present so if he’s already over here then this is probably the best time to peek his head in at her. There are no excuses left for him to not talk to her at this point. 

  Doing his best to redirect his energy, he storms over Sonia’s room but he’s not exactly surprised to find it still empty and quiet when he knocks. Instead he moves over to Mikan’s room, giving the door a short sharp knock. But that too remains completely still and quiet. Was he mistaken? Maybe they actually stayed in Ibuki’s room, it’s not like they had to go to Mikan’s room specifically...

  However, right before he turns around ready to leave a soft sound on the other side of the door makes him stop. Holding his breath he strains his ears as hard as he can. Soft breathing. Gentle snores. Delicate rustling. There’s definitely someone in there. Perhaps more than one person.

  Cautiously he reaches down to the door handle, gripping the metal with a fist. He tried knocking so he should probably just leave - its not like whoever is in here consented to him entering. But then the sight of Sonia flashes before him again. Pushing through the feeling he pushes against the door gently. 

  Much to his surprised the door swings open immediately. No lock then. It might just be him justifying his own actions but of they’re not lock the door then it can’t be too serious, right? 

  It takes a second for his eyes to fully adjust to the darkness but when they do he’s greeted by the sight of Mikan, Sonia, and Ibuki all curled up together. They’ve piled onto the one bed, bodies sprawled on top of each other and limbs tied awkwardly together. Mikan is sandwiched underneath them both, being ganged up on by both sides, and yet she appears to be smiling even in sleep. It’s a far cry from how he remembers her a few hours ago. It takes everything he has to wipe away his own memories of the last time he saw Mikan this way, shoving them deeper down until he can no longer think about those memories. 

  In spite of how warm it might be in their little cuddle puddle, they still have a thick duvet thrown over them as if they’re trying to roast themselves alive. From the other side of the room he can already feel the suffocating heat of the entire situation and he’s not stuck in the middle of it. For his own comfort he almost wants to free them all from their shackles but he holds himself back. If it was a problem then they all would have 

  Given how comfortable they look he is half tempted to simply turn back and head over to Akane and Nekomaru again without interrupting. But if he did that he would be breaking his promise to Sonia. If he knows Sonia, and by now he is pretty sure it’s safe to say he does, she would be devastated to have missed another one of their friends regardless of the situation. Especially Nekomaru. 

  No matter how much they might want to forget the bad things, there is no denying that they still remember what happened in the Neo World Program. With how things ended with Gundham and Nekomaru he has to believe Sonia would have some stake in this reunion. 

  Staying as quiet as humanly possible, he creeps deeper into the room. With every step he takes he half expects the girls to suddenly snap awake but they just keep snoring softly. As he gets closer Ibuki suddenly shifts in the bed, rolling slightly away from Mikan and Sonia, but her eyes remain sealed tightly shut. Despite the thundering of his heart, he keeps pushing forwards. The sooner he gets it over with, the better. 

  “Sonia.” He whispers as quietly as physically possible as he gently taps the girls arm, doing everything he can to not wake the others, “Sonia.”

  But no matter how much he taps her she stays curled up still. Her hand has been knotted in Mikan’s long ragged hair and her cheek is pressed deeply into her shoulder. He had thought that the longer he stared at the scene, the more sense it would make but instead his brain just stutters trying to figure out how they ended up like this. 

  “Sonia, come on. Wake up.” He raises his voice ever so slightly, shaking her slightly harder. 

  Next to Sonia, Mikan begins groaning softly but thankfully Sonia’s eyes begin fluttering open at the same time. It takes a few seconds for her eyes to catch up as the darkness overwhelms them both.

  “Hajime? What are you doing here?”

  “You asked me to wake you remember.” He hisses under his breath.

  “Hmm…” She frowns, her eye fluttering gently closed, “Oh, yes. Is it already time?” But even as she speaks her eyes slowly close tighter and tighter. It looks like she’s about a second away from drifting right back into her dreams again. Well, at least she can’t say he didn’t try. 

  “Basically, there might be half an hour left.” He can’t remember exactly how long was left but there was definitely less than an hour left at this point.

  Still that is enough to get Sonia’s attention. At once she begins fighting to force her eyes open, rubbing at them with the back of her free hand. They still flutter heavily but at least her brain seems somewhat engaged now. With that she begins to try and assess the damage of the situation around her. 

  “I see. I do not want to wake the others so I will do my best to free myself. If I manage it I will join you.”

  Not wanting to risk saying another word, he just nods in response. Silently beginning to creep out of the room as fast as he possibly can. As soon as he’s across the threshold, he pulls the door closed behind him again. Sealing Sonia into the dark room beyond still hidden amongst everyone else. 

  He knows he should try to keep hope in her, but it would be a miracle if she ever managed to free herself from that mess. At least if she wants to do it without waking either them anyway. He knows all too well how tightly Mikan can grip people in her sleep... Nevertheless he tries to maintain faith as he heads back to Akane and Nekomaru. 

  As he reenters the room Akane doesn’t even look up to acknowledge him. At this point he wonders if she even noticed he left in the first place. Either way it doesn’t really matter, the only thing that matters is they’re ready when the time comes.

  However, just when he’d started to write off Sonia entirely, her haggard form stumbles into the room. One arm still slung in front of her eyes, trying to make any kind of makeshift protection as she stumbles about the room. Shrinking away from the bright light filling the room. As such she only just misses the door frame as she stumbles over.

  “You made it.”

  “I did my best!” Sonia pumps her fist in what he assumes is meant to be a gesture of power but the yawn she gives off as she does it doesn’t exactly sell the action very well. 

  “The others are still asleep?”

  “Ibuki woke up briefly but she should go back to bed quickly and thankfully Mikan remained fast asleep. She must have been mentally exhausted even though she only just woke up from the program.” As she plops herself down in a chair next to Hajime she begins to wave half-heartedly. Still yawning even as she sits there beside him. 

  Her head lolls to one side, resting on his shoulder as she yawns again. Her head brushes against his neck but he doesn’t have the heart to shoo her away. Since he was the one who woke her up he probably deserves to deal with this at least. Although he might not be able to see her face from here he is willing to guess her eyes have already fluttered shut. At this point she might just pass out on his shoulder. 

  “It certainly seems that way.”

  He supposes it isn’t really a true sleep while you’re in that place - even when you’re dead. Even if you haven’t been using your body it can still utterly drain you. 

  “How is Akane doing?” Sonia mumbles but her words come out muffled from the tiredness and angle. 

  “I’m not too sure, I think she’s just worried about Nekomaru. She’s tuned everything else out at this point.” 

  He tries to speak quietly but at this point that doesn’t even matter. He could yell and he doubts Akane would blink an eye. And if she was listening then whispering isn’t going to stop her from catching what he says in a room that’s this dead quiet. 

  “I see.”

  Sure enough, the closer and closer they get to the time, the stiffer and stiffer Akane grows. He could swear he can see her ears twitch as the seconds count down. Some instinctive part of her can either feel the growing tension of Sonia and Hajime, or can sense the passage of time itself as she grows more and more restless the closer they get. It’s like she can physically feel how close they are getting. 

  Although Akane isn’t facing the computer, as soon as the signal flashes she’s up and ready. While him and Sonia haven’t had time to flinch, she’s already up an moving with the adrenaline pumping through her veins keeping her moving forward at top speeds.

  “Is it time?” Her voice shakes ever so slightly but it has an unfamiliar edge to it. It’s impossible to tell if its nerves, excitement, fear or a mix of all three. 

  “Yeah, you ready in position?” He gives her a short sharp warning and she only tenses her jaw further. Not a single word slips out.

  As he counts her down, she holds both hands over the button. From across the room he can still see her hands shaking but he pretends he doesn’t see it as he gives his sole focus to the screen in front of him. As they hit zero she slams her hands down, flinching back immediately as if she had just been electrocuted. 

  Sonia grips onto his arm tightly and begins charging forwards, dragging Hajime with her. It isn’t enough to be in the room, they have to grab a front row seat. 

  “Is he okay?” Her head whips around towards Hajime and Sonia, her eyes wide as if she’s never seen this process happen before. He’s not sure he’s ever seen her look this young and small. 

  Even as she stares at him he can see Nekomaru slowly stirring behind her. The boys, no mans, hand is twitching as he slowly reaches up to cradle his own head. 

  “Why don’t you look and see?” He nods over at the slowly stirring form just beyond her shoulder. Sucking in a weak breath, Akane turns around and peers in. Bracing herself even though she’s doing nothing more than turning around. 

  “Akane?” Nekomaru groans, his hands still pressed to both sides of his head. 

  “You’re back!” Akane barks out a laugh, small tears welling up in her eyes. It takes him back to the moment they had found Nekomaru’s body which feels like years ago at this point now. Nekomaru might not have been able to see what state she had been when they lost him but he can most certainly see her now.

  “Ha! Nekomaru Nidai can never be kept down.” Even in this state he manages to pull out a boisterous laugh. Although Sonia’s grip on his arm doesn’t loosen, she still can’t hold back the soft laugh that leaves her lips. The sound is contagious. 

  “Sure, sure.” Akane rolls her eyes but she holds her hand out towards him anyway. Without a second thought Nekomaru grips onto it, letting Akane yank him up roughly. It might lack grace but it does the job at least. 

  As soon he’s sat upright he grips his head again, swaying ever so slightly as he tries to regain his balance. His usually tanned complexion is now visibly pale - a stark contrast to the image he’s used to seeing of the man.

  “Easy now, don’t want you collapsin’ on me.” 

  Akane slides her arm under Nekomaru's, pulling his weight towards her with ease. For his part Nekomaru does his best to push on the side of the chamber, trying to pull his weight but there is only so much he can do.

  Sonia starts moving towards them, not waiting to jump in and take Nekomaru’s other side. However, before she can Hajime grips the back of her shirt, holding her back. Keeping his movements as small and subtle as possible, he gives her a shake of the head and gently pulls her back towards him. Thankfully she picks up on the message and doesn’t make another dash for the pair. 

  “What happened?” Nekomaru groans as Akane lowers him from the chamber and leads him over to the walker.

  “You just woke up from the Neo World Program. You’ve been unconscious for over a month now.” Hajime finally speaks up. As soon as he does Nekomaru snaps his head over in Hajime’s direction as if he’s only now noticing their presence.

  “I remember that.”

  “Yeah, you died…” The bluntness of Akane’s words catches him off guard instantly. It takes a few blinks for him to fully process what she’s saying.

  “Akane!” Sonia gasps but she’s cut off by another boisterous laugh. 

  “That’s the fourth time now. It seems death can’t keep Nekomaru Nidai down!” 

  The light-hearted tone is hard to reconcile with his words. He does understand what happened, right? Then again, he did almost die when he was younger. Maybe this sort of stuff just messes with your perception of things like this. Once you have stared death in the face once you are never quite the same person.

  “Look, don’t go dyin’ again! I gotta fight you and get strong so you can’t run away!” As she says those words she clips him around the side of the head with a firm hand.

  “I accept!” 

  And that’s that. No break down or tears. Just a blunt: don’t die, and a few laughs. The only thing keeping him tied to reality right now is Sonia. Her eyes are still shimmering with tears but her mouth is hanging open. They both just stand their blinking aimlessly. What are you meant to say in this situation? So far he’s pretty certain there is no pre-written guide for handling this kind of stuff. 

  Even when Akane and Nekomaru are long gone he doesn’t dare move. No matter how he tries to wrack his brain none of it quite fits right. Perhaps this is all just a weird dream he’s having…perhaps. 

  And yet time passes on and he never wakes up. At a certain point, he’s not exactly sure when, he just gives in. They might as well take the wins where they can, it’s not like they are getting a lot of hand outs around here after all. 

~~~

10/05 - 17:40

  “Do you mind if I press the button this time?” Sonia asks, her hand idly playing with her nails as she shifts her weight from side to side, “I just think it should be me who does this.”

  “Of course.” 

  First Akane and then Sonia. He probably shouldn’t be surprised given who they are waking but he had somewhat assumed the opposite would happen. Who would want to have their loved ones lives in their hands? Then again, at this point the statistics would lean in their favour. After all, it has worked out this nicely so far which means an air of comfort and ease has fallen over them all.  

  “Thank you.” She does her best to give him a smile but it’s a million miles away from the ones he’s used to seeing from her. 

  Over years she perfectly sculpted her mask into a thing of elegance and beauty and a few weeks locked away in this place has striped her away of everything. She is bare and exposed even when she tries to reengage her mask again. 

  They both slowly drift over to their positions. His eyes are glued to the screen but he can hear the soft clacks of her heels on the ground as she shifts about to the side of the pod. 

  “So I just press this button, correct?” She clears her throat and delicately points down to the bright button on the surface. Other than maybe Kazuichi (although that’s slowly becoming more and more debatable), she has probably been here during the most procedures, and yet even she has to ask. He could swear he can see the palms of her hands glistening in the bright green glow. 

  “Yes. It’s nice and easy. There isn’t much you can do wrong.” All of them on this side have the easy jobs. It’s Alter Ego who is pulling most of the work here. 

  “Okay.”

  Still her hand shakes as she readies herself. Even when Hajime gives her the go ahead she can’t stop her body from breaking out into goosebumps. They ripple all the way up her arm and disappear under her sleeve. After a few seconds he can even hear her teeth chattering. 

  “3…2…1…” They both hold their breaths. 

  Waiting. 

  Fingers crossed.

  It’s only when they hear the first shaky stuttering breath from Gundham that they finally take that breath in. Shattering the moment around them. 

  “Ughhhh.” He groans softly shifting ever so slightly as he begins drifting in and out of consciousness. 

  She hops forward, her hands clenching the edge of the machine and her legs pressed as close to the surface as humanly possible. By now she’s shuffled up onto her tiptoes until she teetering awkwardly, barely gripping onto stability. At any moment she’s going to pitch forward and tumble on top of him just like that. 

  “Gundham?! Are you okay?” 

  “Sonia?” He blearily opens his eyes and blinks harshly at the sudden bright light in front of him. Yet even with his eyes screwed up he does his best to push himself up into an upright position.

  “I cannot believe you are actually here again!” She says it like she hadn’t already seen a whole host of zombies wandering around this place by now.  

  Without waiting for him to answer or give her permission, she dives forward until she’s practically sat inside the machine. Taking the moment into her own control. Her arms have locked around his neck as tightly as is physically possible. There might as well be superglue sealing them both together. Even if Gundham had wanted to shove her off Hajime wouldn’t bet against her. 

  However, for the first second or two, that doesn’t look like the case at all. Although his hands are still unable to move, fully focused on keeping him propped upright, he allows his face to be buried in her thick hair. Through all the strands its hard to make out much of anything but he can still catch a short glimpse of his bright pink cheeks and the slight turn of the corner of his mouth. There is no hiding the soft sigh he breathes out as he leans his head ever so slightly closer to her. 

  But then a few seconds pass and with it, the moment passes. As if being wrenched out of a dream he flinches back as far as his position will let him. Even as he draws back, his skin is flushed brightly making his grey tattoo stand out more than ever before.  

  “Ah! Get back! If you value your life you will not get any closer.” As usual he tries to maintain his cool facade but his voice breaks ever so slightly as he calls out. 

  “Sorry, you are right.” 

  Without needing to be asked more than once Sonia pulls herself backwards until she’s no longer sat directly on his legs. With all the grace she can muster she drags herself back out of the chamber, the tips of her ears tinged pink. 

  It isn’t just Hajime who noticed that detail though, “Um…well…I suppose it is okay if it’s the dark lady.”

  Normally this is the point in time when the boy man would sink into his scarf, practically smothering himself with it, but by the looks of things scarves hadn’t been permitted into the tanks. Instead he has to settle for the for inferior substitute of just turning his head away from Sonia and Hajime at once. 

  Hajime coughs as unsubtly as he can manage and struts over to Sonia’s side, “Do you want us to help you get out or are you okay?”

  “Gundham Tanaka does not need the help of foolish mortals.” Gundham falls into his natural rhythms, tilting his head to scrunch up his nose but then he catches sight of Sonia, “However perhaps for now just the dark lady will do.”

  Just as before she doesn’t need any more prompting to let her arm curl around his side. Locking together with well practiced ease. With a single firm tug she’s pulling him upright, shifting herself slightly to the side to bring her closer to him as he’s hoisted up and out. 

  “Here, lean on me.”

  They work together to gently guide him out until both his feet are once more on solid ground. His hair flops around him awkwardly and he has to gently brush it out of the way with the back of his hand. It’s only then that Hajime realises he’s never actually seen Gundham like this before. 

  Every time they’ve met in the past the man has always been carefully coated in product with perfect insane hair. For the first time he gets to see the boy fully natural free from the products and perfect styling. He still has the short cropped undercut but instead of the usual precision when it comes to the rest of his hair, he is left with a wild mess of waves crashing over his forehead. They traipse down his face until they swoop by his tattooed eye. There’s only one thing that comes to mind staring at the sight: a drowned cat. Yet somehow the look suits him just as well as his usual one. 

  As Gundham stumbles forward he starts swaying until Sonia’s arm tightens even harder around him. He groans, holding his head and stomach as he does so. It takes Hajime straight back to how he had looked stumbling off of the roller coaster days or he supposes weeks ago. Or like they’re back floating on that rickety boat once more. 

  “What happened? My head burns hotter than the depths of the netherworld.” 

  “Well -” Sonia pauses, biting her lip, but Gundham doesn’t even let her finish her thought before he has started talking once again. 

  A random stream of thoughts spills from his lips, “I remember that cawing bear, his demonic games, and some strange flashing colours…they have been branded into my cursed soul.” In this state even Gundham can’t attempt to hide the way his body shivers at the mere words. It might be more of an instinct than anything else. 

  It might be the wrong thing to ask but he can’t hold himself back any further, “Do you remember anything else beyond the colours?” If he already remembers Monokuma then he has no doubt everything else is right there too. It’s not like anyone had been lucky enough to awake without that so far. 

  “You do not have to push yourself to remember right now, it will come with time.” Sonia just clings tighter to his arms as if that will somehow restrain the memories inside him. Wishful thinking, nothing more. 

  No matter how much she tugs on him, his feet stay firmly planted. Instead he slowly turns back around to examine where he has just come from. Something dark and quiet writhes behind his eyes.

  Then, like everything suddenly clicks at once he yells out, “Our souls had been devoured by that accursed mechanism, hadn’t they! Ha! Any machinery that tries to contain Gundham Tanaka will not last long in this world!” Dragging Sonia along with him, he folds his arms close to his chest and puffs himself up. 

  Well that’s one way to describe it he supposes. When it comes to Gundham there is probably no point in even trying to correct his wording. Whatever he wants to call it will work. 

  But even now Sonia hasn’t given up on trying to pull Gundham away and towards the walker. Even from over here he can hear her breath beginning to catch again every time she sees the chambers around them. It’s like she thinks the machines are actually going to spark back to life and drag Gundham away from her again. 

  “Of course not. You can forget about the things that happened in there though. There is no reason to feel guilty about those things anymore.”

  A sharp flinch runs through Gundham before he freezes up entirely, “Guilty?! I stand by my evil - I will not feel remorse for committing my sins.”

  Sins…? It isn’t exactly the first time Gundham has referred to his actions that way. Sins. Evil. Treachery. And yet…

  “And you shouldn’t. We would have starved in that place otherwise - for what it’s worth I do regret my sentiments from when we were trapped in there.” He clenches his jaw as he speaks, trying to maintain his gaze even though Gundham instantly looks away. Diverting their eyes from one another. 

  It’s not like he can make the other boy take in his words but he has to hope the words have reached him at the very least. He remembers every word Gundham had spoken at the end of that trial. Each one like needles digging underneath his very skin. Giving up on life is an insult to life itself. What would he think of the real original Hajime? The one he never got to actually meet. 

  “Hmph.” Like time has suddenly begun ticking again he suddenly clicks back into life, “I suppose I am not the only soul you have dragged kicking and screaming from the depth of the underworld then.” His eyes move once around the room, drinking in the sight of all the empty chambers now. 

  Only a single one remains occupied. Everything else is still and hollow now - just how they want it. One final chamber left… 

  “No, we have been bringing people back in order. Everyone else except Nagito is back and awake now so you’ll be able to see them all again. I think they’re all probably still hiding away in their rooms now though.” Hajime explains with a casual wave of his hand. Perhaps if he just looks casual enough on the outside… 

  Everyone seems reluctant to leave their small zones of safety, although he can’t say he blame them. When they started this he’d had a picture of this moment in his head, of the place bustling with energy and life, but of course that’s not how it worked out. Instead it somehow it feels more dead than ever. 

  Kazuichi has vanished back to his room, Fuyuhiko is sealed away with Peko (good luck trying to see either one of them again), Akane is now off with Nekomaru for a little while and after this chances are Sonia will disappear too. When it comes to Nagito chances are he will be the only one left for the other boy. What a wonderful welcome party they have made for him... 

  As he spins off into his own thoughts, Gundham starts laughing chaotically, his head tilted high and eyes closed, “Ha! Foolish! I could not care less what happened to those lesser spawn. I am impressed by both of your magical talents though.” He just about manages to crack one eye open to gaze at Sonia as he speaks and she instantly flushes luminous pink. 

  “It was not me.” She waves frantically, almost letting go of Gundham as she does so, “It was all Hajime and Kazuichi. They were able to save everyone!”

  “I always knew you had the sealed magical talents. It seems I chose my disciple well.” As he speaks he offers Hajime a lazy half smirk. Normally he would find it patronising but coming from Gundham it is oddly endearing. Perhaps he’s just gotten a little too used to Gundham by now.

  “Thanks. You should probably say that to Kazuichi instead then. He could do with the encouragment.” 

  “Ah, yes. I suppose even a great lord such as myself should pay my respects to the unfortunate man, lest a calamity befall his mind.”

  His mind tries to piece together how Kazuichi would react to that interaction. Based on what he got to see of their relationship in the program he can’t physically imagine it going well, but that was inside the machine with no built up memories. After hearing all those stories its clear there’s years of earned respect and love there between everyone.

  It’s only now that it clicks that he doesn’t really know most people’s true relationships with one another. Given how Sonia and Kazuichi’s relationship is no where near what it was in the program, it wouldn’t be strange for other relationships to have shifted too. Maybe it will go great when Gundham goes to visit him. Either way, he’d be lying if he said he didn’t think it would at least be humorous to see if nothing else. Kazuichi never needs to know this was Hajime’s idea. 

  As if trying to distract Gundham (and maybe save Kazuichi) Sonia turns on her stern demanding voice again, “First we need to make sure you are alright though. And I can bring you to your bedroom for the time being.” 

  At once Gundham lights up, “Of course! I must set up -” Gundham sticks his hands straight into his pockets, searching for something only to immediately freeze up for a split second, “Never mind.” He shakes his head dejectedly, taking in a deep stuttering breath. 

  At the sight Hajime’s stomach drops out of his stomach. The realisation hitting him just as fast as Gundham. How long ago did the four Dark Devas die now? It’s not like hamsters have the longest life span - even when they’re raised by Gundham. For just a few weeks they could pretend the hamsters were still here with him... 

  When Hajime had known him as a despair he still had some hamsters but it was never the four Dark Devas that had been on the island. It wasn’t just Chiaki that was brought back for a brief moment then. All five are now lost forever to the wind and the passage of time. 

  Both him and Sonia look between each other, lumps heavy in their throats. Silence is better than anything else they could say right now. Old grief that has been freshly dredged up isn’t exactly something you can just speak out of existence. If anyone can handle it though it would be Gundham. In his line of work this must not have been the first losses he’s had to live through. This is the cycle of life after all, just on a smaller scale.

  Doing her best to keep the conversation moving on, Sonia break out into a smile, dragging Gundham even closer to the walker. “Here, you can use this to help you get used to walking again. Being trapped in that machine for weeks did a number on our muscles so it takes a few days for them to fully recover again.” She gently grabs his hands with her own, guiding them onto the cool metal frame. 

  However Gundham just wrinkles up his nose at the sight, “This?”

  “They are not the most comfortable thing however it does let you move on your own which is nice.” Her smile falls away slightly but she stays as close as she can to him. 

  “I see…For now I will rely on this beastly contraption then.” Gundham rolls his shoulders ever so slightly but he takes a hold of the frame anyway. 

  Bit by bit he leans against the frame, testing out its endurance but as usual it holds firm and strong. Apparently that was enough of a test for Gundham though as he settles onto it as best he can. Of course, he doesn’t stop complaining - likely as a result of it ruining his perfect aesthetic - but that doesn’t stop him from following Sonia as closely as possible. 

  When him and Sonia leave the room feels emptier than ever. He is closer than ever to being successful and yet somehow he doesn’t feel any better. 

~~~

10/05 - 20:37

  “Hajime?” A voice rings out as someone gently taps his back, “Whatcha doin’ Hajime?”

  “Huh?” He blinks slowly, his brain still lagging behind. 

  His head is resting on his folded arms as he rests on the desk. It takes a few seconds for his mind to catch up to whats going on. Last he remembers he had been chatting with Alter Ego but now…he must have accidentally let himself drift off. He could slap himself right now! Of all the times to do it he had to do it when he was on duty and no one else was around to keep an eye on things

  “Woah, were you asleep?” Akane snorts, flopping down into a chair beside him. As casually as ever she lifts her legs and props them up on the edge of the desk so she can fully lean back in her chair. 

  “What time is it?!” He shoots upright at once. With a casual swipe of his arm he brushes away any lingering drool and shakes his head clear.

  He better not have missed the signal! Alter Ego is going to kill him for dropping off the conversation without a word of warning. 

  “Ughh, almost nine.”

  Sighing he sinks back slightly. Good, there is still a little time left before Nagito wakes up. Stress slowly washes off of him leaving him in a puddle of sweat.

  “Thank god.” He rubs his face slowly as if that’s somehow going to chase away the edges of tiredness which are still gnawing at him. 

  “Why don’t you just go to bed? I thought you had this whole plan set up for taking turns resting.” Akane tilts her head to one side like a confused puppy. At this point he’s impressed she even remembers. That entire plan had collapsed within seconds. A fool errand nothing more. He should have known this would happen from the beginning. 

  “In case you hadn’t noticed everyone is gone.” He snorts looking around the empty room. Well almost empty. Only Akane and Nagito are left here keeping him company now.

  To think just a few weeks ago having Akane and Nagito in the same room would be asking for trouble. It’s hard to maintain that level of anger they once felt at him after remembering everything else they’ve all done. 

  “I’m here.”

  “What about Nekomaru? I think he needs your help more than I do.” He looks around anxiously as if he’s expecting Nekomaru to suddenly jump out from behind some furniture. No one else makes a move though - it really just is the two (or three) of them now. 

  After how things had gone so far he had really expected Akane to be sewn onto Nekomaru’s side for the rest of time. After all they still have yet to see hide or hair of Fuyuhiko even though a day has passed. Then again this is Akane - even in her darkest moments she’s always been pretty good at staying independent. Even the fear of losing Nekomaru again isn’t enough to shift that. Or maybe she’s just started thinking the same way Nekomaru does. 

  “Clearly not if you’re fallin’ asleep on the job.” Akane laughs at him, raising one of her eyebrows, “Look why don’t you just go rest now. You can get a few ‘ours in and still be back for Nagito. Nagito has always been a bit of a freak, but I’m sure he’d want you to get rest.”

  Nothing she’s saying is actually wrong per se. It’s not like he ever got to know Nagito well in the real world, but he certainly got to know the one inside the program. Perhaps a little too well. If any of that boy survived Junko then there’s no doubting Akane’s words. He would rather stay rotting in that chamber forever than make them stay awake waiting for him. Should they really be listening to Nagito’s preferences though? It’s not like he’s ever been the most stable person in the world. 

  “If I go then who is going to keep an eye on this place?”

  Subconsciously he feels his hands slowly knitting together. One by one his fingers start lacing themselves together as he begins pulling at each of his nails. Letting the dull pressure rumble through his body just like that. 

  “Me, duh! I’m not offerin’ without a plan.”

  “You?” He cocks his eyebrow slightly, looking her once over. 

  That’s enough to harden her gaze into daggers. At once her legs slide off of the desk as she leans towards him in her chair, “You got a problem with that.” 

  So far she has been reliable and helpful - as helpful as she can be anyway. It’s not like he would be asking for her to perform heart surgery or anything. If he refused to give her this slightest bit of faith then what would he be telling her?

  “Not really.”

  She cracks a crooked and wiry smile, “Good, take your ass to bed then.” 

  Without any warning she jumps up from her chair and reaches towards him, grabbing his sleeve just like that. They have to fight against each other as she tries to yank him up. With her lost muscle mass and his groggy tiredness it must look the like most pathetic battle but that doesn’t stop him weakly batting her away. 

  “But -”

  “No buts. I’ll come getcha in a few hours.” With her hands both knotted into the fabric of his shirt she just about manages to pull him out of his chair. It takes everything she has to shove him across the room towards the exit. 

  “Why don’t I just sleep here like I did before?” 

  He drags his feet across the ground, staring wistfully back at his chair. If he’s choosing to have faith in Akane’s ability to sit and watch a computer for a few hours then it shouldn’t really matter whether he sleeps in here or in his room. And yet his stomach churns painfully at the mere thought of leaving this place. 

  “I don’t wanna have to stare at you droolin’ as I sit here. Besides, you gotta keep your back healthy. Nekomaru would beatcha up if he knew you were sleepin’ on a chair.”

  “I -”

  “Do I have ta drag you to your room?” She holds her hands on her hips, her face stern and sharp. That sharpness is only accentuated by her thin cheeks and protruding bones. 

  Their little tussle earlier is proof enough she isn’t actually strong enough to drag him away any more and yet he sighs, folding in on himself. What is he doing? He’s acting like a complete child. She’s not wrong, he should sleep in an actual bed. Sleeping here isn’t going to be as effective and the only reason he’s sleeping at all is to make sure he’s working at his best. Why not just go to bed then? There’s no reason to be this stubborn about pointless things.

  “Fine, fine. But wake me up an hour early just in case.” With every word his stomach twists but he holds firm. Blood thunders in his ears but he keeps his face still and collected. 

  “Sure, sure! You’re in good hands.”

  He wishes he could convince his mind of that too but he just gives hear a steady nod. And then he returns to lay on his bed and waits for night to claim him once more. 

Chapter Text

11/05 - 00:05

  When he finally jumps awake he’s all alone in the darkness. Sweat clings to every inch of his skin again. At this point his bed is more sweat than fabric. The covers that had been draped over him when he fell asleep are now rumpled up in a pile on the floor but even those are soaked through. He never realised someones throat could feel this dry. 

  Rubbing his head he hunches over on the bed screwing his eyes closed. Maybe if he sits here long enough the pounding in his mind will fade away…

  When will these nightmares ever end? He knows he had told Fuyuhiko there was no cure but there must be something out there that isn’t just carving away at what is left of his brain matter. Somehow its even worse when he doesn’t remember what the damn dream was about. All he’s left with is the dull emptiness without any way to soothe his mind. 

  What time is it even anyway? If Akane hasn’t woken him up then there must still be some time but without windows it’s impossible to tell just how much. As usual his first instinct is to flee the room and retreat back to the Neo World room to wait for the rest of the time to tick by, but he doesn’t dare move. He had promised he would try to get some rest and what is Akane going to say if she sees him like this. The last thing they need right now is to see him slowly breaking down. Nothing screams stability and safety like the crazy resident science experiment dripping down the hallways. No, if he wants to go outside in front of other people he should probably at least attempt to make himself presentable.  

  Breathing in a shaky breath he carries himself over to the shower. Crouching down and keeping his hair away from the water, he sits at the edge of the tub, letting the water crash against his back. For a few minutes he just sits there, the boiling water burning away all the traces of sweat from his pores. He has no idea how much body wash he uses as he completely lathers every exposed inch - the only exception being his hair. 

  The hot steam makes his head feel fuzzy and light but he doesn’t let that move him. If anything it’s almost calming. His body is so numb that for a while he can almost pretend he’s floating, his mind up in the clouds. Unfortunately it can never last though. As his hands get wrinklier and wrinklier he has to remind himself that there are things he actually has to do today. 

  Even as he gets out and starts getting ready, his head stays fuzzy. A layer of static is smothering his mind. With the quiet hallways and rooms he can almost pretend he’s still in a dream until he finally finds his way back to Akane in the other room.

~~~

11/05 - 00:27

  “Hajime? You’re back already? I was gonna get ya soon y'know.” Akane yawns as he enters the room, stretching out like a cat. 

  “Yeah, I woke up a bit early and couldn’t get back to sleep.” 

  At once Akane nods somberly. Even Akane can read the situation then. It’s almost a relief though not having to say it out loud. 

  Once again Akane yawns as she leans back in the chair until only 2 legs are left on the ground, “It’s been pretty dead here since you left.” 

  “That’s to be expected, it’s late at night after all.” If people aren’t even getting out of their rooms during the day then they’re most certainly not doing it in the night. 

  “True.” Akane groans, her eyes fluttering closed for a moment. 

  “Maybe you should go to bed instead now. When did you last sleep?” 

  He had kind of assumed she had been sleeping after she had left with Nekomaru but looking at her now it’s hard to believe. It’s getting hard to tell what are new bags under her eyes and what are just her constant accessories now.  

  “Nah, you’re gonna need more than one person here for when Nagito wakes up.” Her words are considerably less convincing when she’s yawning though. It makes him wonder if this was how he looked a few hours ago. 

  “I can go and get Sonia, she asked to be brought in for the wake ups after all.” 

  For a moment he considers mentioning Kazuichi but who knows if he would even open the door at this point. If he hasn’t come out by now then the chances are he isn’t going to want to for Nagito of all people. 

  “Hmmm…” 

  He never gets Akane’s answer though. Before she can open her mouth to speak, something crashes in the next room over. Shattering glass echos down the hallway and the muffled groan of someone waiting just beyond. It takes a few seconds for his mind to even process this is real and not an illusion created from his own mind. Is there…someone over there. Both him and Akane wait in silence for a moment, as if hoping to hear someone speaking but there is nothing. Just the soft clattering of glass being carefully swept up.

  “Who d’ya think that is?” Akane whispers, leaning into him. Suddenly the hints of sleep that had plagued her have vanished. She’s wide eyed and grinning mischievously as if they had walked in one something they shouldn’t have instead of hearing glass shattering. 

  “Go and check on them, we don’t want anyone getting hurt.” He can only imagine the panic that could spread if blood stains started appearing all over the place. 

  “Why me?” Akane wrinkles her nose and draws away uncomfortably.

  “I have to stand guard just in case the machine starts up early. Besides, once you’ve finished checking on them you can sort them out and fetch Sonia for me so you can get to bed.”

  Chances are everything will take the same time as before but he’s not going to take any risks, not when he’s so close to the end. He can practically taste the finish at this point. 

  Akane holds his gaze for a few seconds before rolling her eyes, “Ughhh fine. But you owe me big time Hajime!” He’s not sure he wants to know what owing Akane would be like but he just nods nonetheless. How bad could it be? It’s Akane. 

  “Whatever.” 

  As she stalks away she flips him the finger over her shoulder. He can practically see the smug look on her face as she does so but he just rolls his eyes and settles back down. 

  He tries to focus on the computer in front of him but given the short distance between the two rooms it’s hard not to try and listen in on the conversation a little bit. As if she’s just doing it to spite him her voice has taken on a lower tone than normal making it hard to pick up many words at all. He does manage to catch a single name though. Teruteru. 

  The boy had been so quiet and distant since he arrived that Hajime had almost forgotten about him entirely in the time it took to bring everyone else back. He supposes it’s good to hear he’s up at least, even if he’s popping out when there’s no one else around. 

  After a minute or two even the soft whispering of Akane and Teruteru has vanished too. All the voices have vanished leaving just Hajime behind. 

  He waits and waits and waits for Sonia - or even Akane - to reappear but the corridor remains completely still and quiet. Not a single person stirs. Bit by bit the time draws closer and then it passes and still no one is here. Did Akane simply forget to call for Sonia or was the situation with Teruteru worse than he had thought? Should he be checking up on them.

  No. He clenches his jaw and his fist. He needs to stay on track. They have left him here to do his job. He has to bring everyone back. It’s the one thing he’s been able to do so far in this world that has had any meaning. Even if Sonia doesn’t come, it doesn’t matter. It wouldn’t be the first time he handled this alone. If Teruteru and Akane need help they have an entire corridor filled with people that can help out. There is only one person in here that can help Nagito and that’s him so he isn’t going to abandon his post. 

  His resolve only grows stronger and stronger as the time continues to tick. Minute pass but still nothing. No signal. No hints of one coming. It should have been here by now…right? As he double checks the clock he does his best to ignore the gnawing feeling in his chest. Standing in front of the chamber, he stares over at the twisted around computer facing him on the desk. Hand shaking as it hovers over the button.

  His heart is beating in his hand as if it's trying to mess this up. Even when the signal finally shows and he slams his hand down, the relentless hammering doesn’t end. If anything it only gets stronger as he shifts his attention instead down to the still form of Nagito, waiting patiently. 

  Leaning forward he watches Nagito intently, waiting for him to move or breathe or anything. Nothing. Stillness. He just lays there. How long did the others take? He is certain none of them took this long to come back. No, it was almost instantaneous every time. So why is Nagito still like this? Shouldn’t he be up and the same as usual now? Did he fuck up? What if he’s ruined everything and Nagito never wakes up. 

  His breath catches in his throat as his breathing grows faster and faster. Short shallow breaths are all that manage to escape. Adrenaline is pumping around his body but there is nothing he can do. What use is adrenaline when you are utterly useless?

  “Ughhh…” A short gruff groan suddenly steals his attention.

  Nagito’s eyes are still closed but his arm is twitching slightly as movement stirs beneath the eyelids. Like a switch has suddenly been flicked he feels his limbs wobbling uncomfortably. He has to tighten his grip on the side of the machine just to keep him grounded to reality. This is real. He isn’t imagining the movement.

  “Hey, can you hear me?” He calls out, praying to every god he knows that he opens his damn eyes. He’s never wanted to see Nagito’s wild eyes this much before in his life. 

  But sure enough, after a second or two his eyes flutter open to meet Hajime's. Something clicks behind Nagito’s eyes but he still smiles, his eyes dully illuminated by the green glow surrounding them.  

  “Do you still remember everything?” He probes tentatively. 

  None of the deaths any of them went through were pleasant - they never could be when Monokuma was present - however even now Nagito’s stood out beyond the others. Hell, it had even infiltrated his dream before he realised what the dream were. If anyone was going to react like Teruteru and Hiyoko it would be Nagito. And yet in the most Nagito way he just stares up at Hajime as if he wants to commit every line and detail into his memory forever. 

  “Izuru Kamukura…” He eyes narrow for a moment, as if only just noticing the difference in his hair style from the last time they saw each other in reality, “Wait no, you’re…uh…Hajime Hinata.”

  Hearing the name again from Nagito’s mouth of all people sends a shiver down his spine. A tidal wave of everything from the Neo World Program crashes into him. All the things Nagito had done. All the times they had spent together. All the things he had said. Those last moments. Chiaki.

  But then other memories come back too. Another meeting. Even back then she had been there at his side as they had stared each other down. He remembers the way the other boy had stood there, resolutely determined and holding strong even when stood against Izuru and Junko in their prime. Somehow he both looks exactly the same and like an entirely different person right now. 

  “They’re both me.” He clears his throat, trying to push down the memories to store them away with all the others. 

  Trying to distract himself he reaches down and takes Nagito’s hand. The long red nails brush against his palm but Hajime suppresses the shiver that wants to shake through his body at the contact. There is no mistaking that hand, no matter where it is located. Still the hand shouldn’t stop Nagito from getting the support everyone else got when they awoke. Someone needs to help Nagito and he's the only one around. 

  “I suppose I should thank you for waking me up.” Nagito frees his hand and rubs the back of his neck now he is sat upright. 

  “After everything that happened it was our duty as the survivors to bring you all back, no matter what it took.”

  Nagito chuckles softly, “Duty, huh…? How are the others doing?”

  He thinks back to everyone else and whatever was happening in the kitchen earlier. Somehow it suddenly isn't such an easy question to answer. 

  “You’re the last one out. They’re all awake and alive again now.” He artfully dodges the real question. Alive is all that matters. Now that they’re all conscious they can start considering how they are actually doing. Or maybe that will come once the future foundation has been dealt with. 

  “That’s good…” 

  “Come on, lets get you out of there.” 

  Still holding onto Nagito’s hand, he gently tugs the boy forwards until Nagito is gripping onto his arm. Leaning against each other they stumble out of the machine. He can feel Nagito trembling against him with every movement so he does his best to move as fast as possible, leading him over to the walker at the side of the room. 

  “Thank you.” There’s a slightly pink tint to his cheeks as his shaky hands grip onto the walker. 

  “It sucks that we’re so weak when we wake up but you should start feeling better in a few days.”

  “That’s good. I don’t want to be even more useless than I normally am.” Nagito chuckles awkwardly, his head dipped low as he takes a tentative step forward. 

  Even with the walker to lean on his legs buckle. The only thing that stops him from falling directly on his face is the fact he falls on top of the walker, his entire weight pressing into the edge. It takes everything he has to stop himself from darting forward and grabbing the falling boy. He just has to stand there and watch as the boy struggles with his own body. But even now, when no one is touching him, he is still trembling like a leaf in the wind.

  He clears his throat subtly, shuffling a little closer to Nagito, “Shall I show you around the place to help you get used to the walker?”

  “You don’t have to do that.” 

  “I want to do it. I have been stuck in this room for ages. Walking would do me some good too.” 

  He rubs at his own aching muscles. He really hasn’t done enough walking over the last few day. When they’re locked up in this place like this its hard to find reasons to move about. 

  “Well, if you’re sure.” Nagito gives a wobbly smile and carefully takes another step forward. This time he manages to stay on two feet as he does it and they slowly leave the room together.

  “Don’t worry this place isn’t very big so you won’t need to walk around for long.” He tries to be encouraging but Nagito only winces. 

  As the stumble into the main communal area Nagito’s eyes blow wide. It's clear his mind is whirring at a million miles an hour as he tries to drink in all the new scenery. For a moment they both just stand there in the doorway, looking out at the empty room. 

  It’s not exactly a big room - especially not considering it was built to home all fifteen of them - but given the state of the world places like this are few and far between. Even just seeing books neatly sat on shelves and perfectly neat couches feels foreign. That’s not even considering the fact these thing were put there especially for them.

  “Why don’t you take a seat on the couch for a second?” He gently taps Nagito’s shoulder and points him towards the couches. 

  Nagito’s eyes narrow as his head twitches from side to side. Never able to settle on whether he should be examining the room or Hajime.

  “I thought you said I should be walking around?” 

  Hajime casually waves away the thought and leads the way towards the couch. His hand is held outstretched as if he’s trying to coax the boy the way you would with a feral cat. But no matter how much he tries Nagito stays stuck to his spot, his hands still gripping onto the walker for dear life. 

 “Thinking about it there will be lots of time to walk around later. For now we should probably both grab some food.” He nods over at the kitchen. Ibuki and Mahiru had both been happy to grab some food after waking up so it probably would do Nagito some good too.

  It’s not like Nagito is like Akane or Teruteru - he does still have something other than skin on him after all - but he is far from healthy. Even in the program he was always more of a lanky guy but seeing him in real life in proper lighting for once feels different. 

  Dark scars still line his neck from servitude and they stand out more than ever with his light grey complexion. On the boat Nagito had mentioned the arm still hadn’t rotted but he’s starting to wonder if that’s really true. His entire body might as well be rotting. The look isn’t helped by his bushy and frayed white hair which has been steadily growing so it now swings past his shoulders. 

  “Hmm…” Nagito hums but he doesn’t make a move towards the couch.

  Who knew making these people look after themselves would be the hardest thing he had to do? If he hadn’t been able to see the point of the Neo World Program before then he most certainly sees it now. 

  He clicks his fingers, suppressing some of the excitement in his voice, “I know. Why don’t you look around the bookshelves as I whip up some food for us both.” 

  He didn’t exactly go into Nagito’s room very often in the program - in fact he only went the one time. Even when they were on friendlier terms in that place they were certainly not friends. However when he did go there it was impossible to ignore the huge shelves of books that had been painstakingly set up inside the room. If anyone was going to be able to appreciate that part of this place then it would be Nagito.

  “Okay.”

  For a few seconds Nagito still doesn’t move. It’s like there is some lag between the world around them and Nagito’s mind. But bit by bit he begins moving forwards, drawn in by the books as if by magic. 

  Doing his best not to look Nagito’s way, he crosses the room and heads over to the kitchen area. But even with his back turned he can’t stop his ears from zoning in on Nagito’s movement. He can hear every page flick and every shallow breath. It feels oddly intrusive standing there, even as he prepares some sandwiches for them both. 

  When was the last time he was alone in a room with Nagito? It must have been the night before everything started going wrong. When Nagito came to his room before things started going crazy with the bombs. It feels like a lifetime ago now, and yet here is Nagito walking around the room completely calm and peaceful. Casually reading books. If only the versions of them from inside that place could see them now. 

  “Iz - Hajime, did…” Nagito coughs into his hand less than subtly, “Did you see what was happening in the program before I woke up?”

  Hajime stops moving his hands and frowns at the wall in front of him, “What was happening? What do you mean?” He closes his eyes and tries to sort through his memories for what the man could be referring to. Did something happen? He would have thought Alter Ego would have tried to let him know if something was going on. And then it clicks at once, “Wait, do you mean when the AI was trying to stabilise you?”

  “Ah, so you were aware.” He can hear Nagito chuckle awkwardly. Without even seeing Nagito’s face he knows exactly what the boy looks like right now. 

  He sets his knife down and spins around on the spot until he’s leaning against the counter top. Like a deer caught in the headlights Nagito just stares at him across the room, eyes wide and hands gripping onto the book in front of him for dear life. 

  “Not exactly. I built the AI and Alter Ego deployed it but we wanted to keep your privacy so I didn’t look at what was going on.” He forces Nagito to meet his eyes as he explains. 

  Of course part of him can’t ignore the curiosity that is flaring inside of him but he isn’t going to let that part of him win. Knowing what everyone was going through while they were ‘dead’ would be fascinating but he can’t ask people that share that with him. There is no way in hell he would want people peeking into his nightmares. After everything this is the bare minimum he can offer them. 

  “I see.” Nagito finally breaks eye contact and stares down at the book like it contains the secrets to the universe. 

  Narrowing his eyes he takes a slight step closer. His eyes are laser focused on Nagito like he’s going to be able to read the secrets off of him. 

  “Why? Did something happen?”

  Nagito lifts his head, his eyes as sharp as ever, “No, nothing. It was just strange seeing you like that.” 

  “Like what?”

  “Hmmm…like Izuru I guess. It’s easy to forget who you used to be unlike with the others.”

  Like Izuru? He had almost forgotten the AI was designed after him. In a way he supposes it would make sense that the AI would end up appearing a little too much like him.

  Cocking his head to one side he hums, “Oh yeah, who did I used to be?” 

  “The Ultimate Hope. It must be strange being like this now.” The words flow like its the most natural thing to say. 

  “I think I prefer it this way. Hope’s Peak kinda sucked.” He folds arms and waits cautiously for his response.

  How would Nagito of all people feel about Hopes Peak? It makes sense the others would be less than positive but even after his interactions with Junko Nagito was still somehow obsessed with hope. For all he knows Nagito is still a wholehearted believer.

  At first Nagito doesn’t reply. In fact he holds onto his book tighter as if he wants to crush it. When he finally does speak, all he says is, “I guess it did…”

  Laughter crackles from his chest, its a strange sensation and yet it seems to somehow relieve a slither of the pressure that has been closing in around his head. Quietening the static he had forgotten was smothering him. 

  “Now that’s funny to hear coming from you.”

  Much to his surprise, Nagito lets out a soft chuckle. For the first time in what feels like forever, Nagito smiles properly. His eyes crinkling and dimples appearing on his cheeks. Only now does he release the book from his clutches, gently sliding it back onto the shelf. Even though he’s still wobbling on the spot, his shoulders are looser now. 

  “Of course I still believe in Hope more than anything but after everything we’ve seen I think it’s hard to say Hope’s Peak could foster true hope.” He shrugs casually and pulls out the next book. 

  “You’re probably right. They thought I was hope after all.” As his laughter dies out he leans further against the counter top. Resting his weight on it as best he can. 

  Let’s be honest, Hopes Peak wouldn’t know hope if it hit them in the face.

  “Who knows, maybe they weren’t exactly wrong with that.” 

  At once Hajime freezes over. Limbs locking tight as his lungs struggle to force in a breath. Did he hear Nagito correctly? It's not like Nagito was whispering, the words were clear enough, and yet his mind can't seem to take them in. 

  But all the while Nagito is just stood there fiddling with the books. His back turned to Hajime as he loses himself in his movements. Humming softly to himself. 

  “What do you -”

  But before he can finish his thought a new voice cuts through the room.

  “Ooooh, are you cooking Hajime? May I trouble you for some.” Sonia rushes in, eyes sparkling and focused solely on the two unfinished sandwiches behind his back.

  She’s still in pajamas, her hair swept into a messy bun on top of her head. She hasn’t even clocked Nagito yet, instead she just circles Hajime, looking for food she can steal at a moments notice. 

  “Sure, that’s fine.”

  With a soft smile, Nagito calls out across the room to Sonia. Trying to pathetically bow despite needing to keep a tight grip on the walker, “It’s good to see you again Sonia.”

  “Huh?! Nagito!” Her head snaps between Nagito and Hajime incredulously. He is almost worried that she actually will snap her neck at this rate.

  “Yeah, he just woke up so I’m fixing us some food.”

  “Ha-ji-me!” She slaps his arm between each syllable, her face flushed red, “I thought you promised you would summon me for the remaining people!”

  His hands fly up incredulously, “I sent Akane to fetch you.” It’s not like he can be blamed for Akane messing up. If she really wanted to be present then she could just have stuck around for a change. He doesn’t see how this is his fault all of a sudden. Of course he doesn’t say any of this to Sonia though. 

  “Well I never heard anything about this!” Sonia hits his arm one last time for good measure. 

  “It's okay Sonia. I was happy it was just Iz - Hajime there.” Nagito explains as he begins to shuffle over to them as fast as he can with his walker and weakened legs.

  But even with Nagito’s assurance she folds her arms like a petulant child and lifts her head up high, “No, it is not okay. I wanted to be there for you too. Hajime should not have to do it alone.” 

  Sure, it’s the thought that counts but when they thought becomes slapping his arm he’s less inclined to agree. Besides, it honestly wasn’t as much to work to handle as she seems to think. 

  “I don’t mind.”

  Holding a finger up to her lips she shuts him down at once, “Shhhh!”

  “Thank you Sonia. You’re too kind.” Nagito is flushed as he hovers by Hajime's side, trying to hide his burning cheeks. It’s strange seeing Nagito so out of his element for once, who knew he was even able to blush. It seems Sonia can bring that side out of anyone. 

  He knows something is about to go wrong when Sonia claps her hands, her eyes sparkling. Any hunt for food had been instantly forgotten as she sparked to life. On a normal person the look would be cute and innocent but knowing Sonia he can’t trust it for a second. It is always either the best idea ever or absolute chaos. 

  “I know! I shall cook a meal for everyone to celebrate!”

  His heart stops beating for a moment. Cooking?! Again? He thought he had gotten rid of this issue. Why would she suddenly want to do this of everything?!

  “I thought H-Hajime was cooking?” Even Nagito stutters, looking around at Hajime desperately.

  He’s starting to think this isn’t a new development for her. If she is so terrible though, how has she not improved over the years? How long have the others been suffering through this?! Sonia is many things but she most certainly isn’t the type to repeat the same mistake over and over. Maybe Novoselic’s food is just a whole different breed.

  “Yes, well I have quite missed doing cooking since he started taking over.” She grins proudly, puffing up her chest. Is no one ever going to explain the situation to her or are they all just equally traumatised. 

  “No one else has.” He whispers under his breath to Nagito as Sonia spins on her heels to move down the hall. 

  She must hear him but that doesn’t stop her crusade, “I shall let them all know now.”

  Neither him nor Nagito can stop her, instead Hajime just finishes up the sandwiches as fast as humanely possible while Nagito practically cradles his. Taking small bites as he continues examining the world around him. He's still nibbling on it as Hajime begins to lead him over to the couch to rest. Seemingly forgetting all about his previous objections as he focuses on slowly finishing up the food. Savouring every bite.

  By the time she’s recovered as many people as possible they’ve both settled in, pressed against each other and as far from the kitchen as they can get. Surely she must notice but she just keeps pottering around the kitchen, grinning the entire time. 

  Unfortunately she had been more successful with her recruitment than he would have expected. Sure enough Byakuya is leading the charge with Ibuki right behind them, matching their msrching steps perfectly. 

  Mikan has stuck to Ibuki like a shadow. Trailing after her with big shimmering eyes as if she's seconds away from crying for some reason. 

  Following behind those two is Gundham, although he doubts the man had much of a say in any of this. Even he can’t resist Sonia when she puts her mind to it. 

  Finally behind Gundham is Akane and Nekomaru who are still leaning against each other, wide toothy grins still painted on both their faces. Part of him wants to ask what the looks are for but it's honestly safer not to. 

  Considering the circumstances it’s an impressive number of people. Sure a few people aren’t present but given how empty everything has been this might as well be an entire damn party. In a way he supposes it is. One by one they all filter around the couches, sinking into the soft fabrics in small groups. Akane and Nekomaru unsurprisingly hog an entire couch while Gundham makes a mad dash (or as mad a dash as you can make with a walker) for one of the arm chairs. Mikan, Ibuki and Byakuya all sit together, none of them noticing as Sonia disappears off to the kitchen. They barely even give him and Nagito a second look as the settle down excitedly. 

  “Who’s cooking?” Byakuya asks as they take their seat. Their eyes still sparkling with hopeful life, “Hajime?” They don't even think twice before turning on Hajime expectantly. He’s not going to be the one to break the news to these guys. 

  “I am. I have not cooked many dishes but I do believe a soup is well within my repertoire.” She fist pumps excitedly as she starts pulling on an apron.

  In unison, everyone's faces immediately begin to fall as they start to eye up Nagito and Hajime's sandwiches. Could he make food for everyone? Yes. Will he though? No. Not right now anyway. For now they can survive a little home cooking. 

  “S-so if Nagito is here then does that mean everyone is awake again?” Mikan asks tentatively. Her hand is still gently gripping Ibuki’s arm as the other girl has practically collapsed into the fabric. 

  With those words everyone suddenly turns, locking onto Nagito as if only just clocking him. For his part he gives them a flimsy smile, his eyes closing softly. It's such a far cry from the smile that he had just seen a few minutes ago that he finds himself missing the sight. His memory dragging the image back into the forefront of his mind. Superimposing it over the scene before him. 

  “Yeah, everyone is safe again now.” Hajime clears his throat. Tearing his gaze away from Nagito at once to stare at the room full of faces.

  “We need to have a toast to Hajime!” Nekomaru barks, raising an imaginary glass. He can feel his cheeks instantly warming.

  “That really isn’t necessary.” He tries to wave them all away but apparently in their time apart he had forgotten just how stubborn they can all be. At this point he might as well not be speaking at all for all the good it does. 

  “Boo! You saved eeeeeeeveryone! That deserves a special Ibuki toast!”

  “She’s right y’know.” Even Akane betrays him. He should have seen that one coming… 

  As he looks around the room for an ally he only finds a sea of expectant faces. They do realise he was the one that uploaded Junko right? Did no one mention how much Kazuichi did to help the process? God, he’s never wanted Kazuichi here so much. Why did he have to choose this moment now to disappear for days?!

  “Only the greatest requiem will do.” Gundham cackles - not helping the situation at all. Even Sonia is happily humming away in the kitchen, not making any moves to divert attention away from him. 

  Clearing his throat he stares at each one of them in turn, “Instead of a toast maybe we should be discussing what we’re going to do now. We need some plans moving forward.” 

  A million things are still running around in his head. Even if they have woken everyone and begun the journey towards leaving this place, it still is just the beginning. There is so much to sort out and they’re here celebrating. 

  “Party pooper!” Ibuki makes a fart noise with her mouth as she gives him two big thumbs down. She only barely avoids punching Mikan in the face as the nurse desperately ducks out of the way of her rogue arms. 

  “You need to learn to relax a little Hajime.” Nekomaru’s voice is booming even though he’s the opposite side of the room from Nagito and Hajime. 

  Pleadingly, he turns to Nagito whispering with desperate frantic eyes. “Nagito.” 

  Ever the traitor he only gets a casual shrug back as Nagito tucks into his sandwich. Remind him not to make food for Nagito in the future. He doesn’t deserve Hajime's generosity. 

  “I do believe you’ve earned an evenings rest if nothing else.” 

  “See, even Nagito agrees!” Ibuki jumps up without warning as if she’s going to come over and shake them both but thankfully she’s still too wobbly to cross the space between them. 

  “I guess one night is fine.” He rolls his eyes and leans back into the couch. Submitting to the fate before him. 

  Thankfully it isn’t too long until Sonia has pieced together her monstrosity into a selection of small bowls. As soon as food is sitting in front of each of them, there are no more thoughts about Hajime or the Neo World Program. Instead they’re all united behind a single enemy. 

  “Ummmm, th-thank you S-Sonia.” Mikan’s smile wobbles and fades instantly but he can’t tell if that’s just Mikan being Mikan or if it’s because of the food now wafting under her nose. 

  “This is….magnificent demon food.” Gundham chokes out a few words but apparently its enough for Sonia as she break out in a bright blush as she takes the arm chair beside Gundham’s. 

  For a change Nagito and Hajime get to watch with grins as everyone does their best to choke down what food they can. It might be the best entertainment he’s had since they first arrived in this place. If he had known it was this easy to be entertained he would have set Sonia up as the chef a long time ago. He can only imagine what Teruteru would be saying if he could see this scene right now. 

  As he leans back in the couch he can just about notice Nagito yawning beside him. He’s doing his best to sit upright, practically prying his eyes open, but there’s only so much that can be done. Although he’s managing to be a little more stable than he had been earlier, he’s still swaying even as they’re sat down. 

  Clapping his hands together he pulls himself up to his feet, addressing everyone around the room, “Well as lovely as this has been, I should probably finish showing Nagito around this place. We didn’t get very far.”  

  Technically they didn’t even actually start but he supposes they did see this room - even if he wasn't doing a good job of helping Nagito look around. He’s already had the uses of this place more than thoroughly demonstrated to him which is enough for now, right?

  “Are you sure? You did not even get food.” Sonia looks wistfully over to the pot that’s still on the stove but he just grabs Nagito’s wrist desperately. Making sure to grab the correct arm as a shiver runs up his spine.

  “I’m sure. We don’t want to push Nagito when he’s only just woken up.” Nagito flashes him a grateful look which he just returns with a soft smile. 

  “You have a point.”

  “I-I s-should probably leave t-too.” Mikan stutters, jumping up in one fluid motion. 

  As she jumps up her leg smacks into Ibuki’s bowl, almost sending it flying. It is only just saved by a hissing Ibuki as she holds the bowl up high, trying to stabilise the mixture. If you ask him they might as well knock it over now - it would probably save Ibuki a whole load of pain - but who is he to interfere. She’s made her bed so she can lie in it. 

  “You’re going too Mikan?” Byakuya frowns, taking another sip of their soup.

  “Y-Yes. I am still quite tired so I think I would like to rest…only if that’s okay though…I d-don’t want to be rude.” Rubbing her eyes she stutters through her announcement.

  Before even Mikan can start overthinking Nekomaru calls out, “No, it’s not rude at all. You need to look after yourself Mikan.”

  “Yeah! Rest if ya need to. We’ll still be here in the mornin’ wont we.” Even Akane chimes in with an easy wave.

  “Th-thank you.” Mikan rings her hands and creeps over towards them as Hajime pulls Nagito to his feet, “I can show you which room will be Nagito’s. Ibuki showed me everyone’s rooms earlier.”

  “Thanks Mikan.” 

  As everyone waves goodbye to them he guides Nagito over to his walker and they head down the corridor with Mikan leading the way. None of them say a word as they walk but he can hear Nagito tapping on his walker as the others resume their chatter behind them.

  “Th-This should be Nagito’s room.” Mikan’s finger shakes as she points to the last room down left corridor. Her hand shaking the entire time.

  “Thanks, I’ll get him settled.”

  “I-I’ll see you tomorrow then.” As she heads off to her own room on the complete other side of the hall, she doesn’t turn her back on them until the very last second. The entire time she’s trying to force herself to smile but it looks more like a grimace.

  Once her door is closed they stand there for a few moments, closer than normal in the tight passageway but still just far enough apart to not quite touch. Hovering in one another's space.

  “Is she okay?” Nagito whispers quietly enough that the others in the communal area can’t quite hear him.

  “None of us are. But she could be worse.” He mumbles, the images of Hiyoko crying and throwing up still fresh in his mind. 

  It makes sense that he still hasn’t seen her still but at the same time it makes his stomach churn. Mahiru is surely taking good care of her but it doesn’t help that they haven’t seen or heard of anything from her. 

  “That’s true I suppose…” 

  “Come on then, lets get you sorted in your room.” He clears his throat and carefully opens the door. It’s better to focus on what’s ahead than on things they can’t control. 

  But instead of following Hajime forwards, Nagito is looking back down the corridor longingly, “Which one is your room?”

  “My room?” He frowns, trying to get a read on Nagito, “We took rooms one at a time starting from the beginning so my room was one right at the front.” From over here they can't see his room anymore but he still points to it as if they can.

  Its funny that despite everything, he doesn’t actually know which rooms are everyone’s now. Of course he remembers the rooms of the five of them that had survived as well as Mahiru's (and Byakuya’s wasn’t hard to figure out) but most of the other ones are unknowns. He could guess a general area for each one but when it comes down to the specifics he has no idea. Maybe they should get name plates again just like back then…

  “Come on, the rooms are pretty fine all things considered.” He coaxes Nagito forward and slips into the room, holding the door open as Nagito follows him. 

  There really isn’t much to show when it comes to the room. Clothes are still neatly folded in the draws but other than that, it’s mostly empty. Nevertheless Nagito follows him about the room as Hajime points out each and everything he can. 

  “It’s pretty empty but the beds are okay.” 

  He’s not too sure what kinds of beds Nagito has had in the past - he was rich once upon a time if the files in the library are to be believed - but even so after months of living with the warriors of hope this must be a luxury. The entire time Nagito is smiling, examining each and every thing they pass. As they move past the bed he runs a hand against the fabric absentmindedly. 

  “And they have given us all private en-suites in the room so you don’t need to go far for a shower.” He clears his throat and gestures into the small bathroom. 

  But instead of heading in to explore Nagito collapses onto the bed, laying back and letting himself get enveloped in the fabric. He sighs warmly staring up at the ceiling. 

  “Shall I leave you alone?” Hajime asks tentatively, moving towards the door, “I know you are probably in need of a good rest.” 

  “Actually…” Nagito sits up for a moment, his hand reaching out towards Hajime, “Never mind.” He shakes his head, his eyes flickering with something dark writhing underneath.

  “What is it? Do you want me to get you something?” 

  “No, it’s nothing. I was just wondering if you could turn the light off before you leave.” It’s obvious that he was lying but Hajime simply nods along anyway. There’s no point in bringing it up now. If he wants to say something then he needs to choose to say it himself. 

  “Sure. Anything else?” He asks tentatively as he clicks off the light but Nagito just gives him that sickly sweet smile again. 

  “No that’s all fine.” He can hear Nagito’s voice hitching as he answers but still he refuses to elaborate. 

  For a moment he almost considers turning the might back on and sitting himself right at Nagito’s side until he decides to finally talk but he stops himself. The last thing he needs to do if Nagito is getting overwhelmed is force himself on the boy. He just has to trust that he will come to Hajime when he needs to - not that people have been very good at doing that so far.

  “Okay. I’ll come and check in with you in the morning.” 

  He offers meagerly before sliding out of the room and pulling the door closed until it clicks. He’s not sure how long he stands out there listening, trying to see if he can hear anything from the white haired boy but there’s nothing. Not even the sounds of breathing are audible. No matter how long he stands there nothing is going to change so he turns around and heads back into the common room to check on the others. 

  As he travels down the corridor he starts to pick up a few voices talking. Not that it’s hard. Clearly no one ever taught Ibuki or Nekomaru the concept of indoor voices. 

  “We need lotsssss of food. Maybe Teruteru will finally come out!” Ibuki shoots out the words rapid fire. He could swear he can hear her excitedly clapping like a hyper toddler. 

  “Yes, that would be ideal. We cannot keep relying of Hajime for everything.” When placed next to Ibuki’s excitable chatter, Sonia sounds positively somber.

  As he enters the room he wracks his brain trying to decipher what they could possibly be talking about. Knowing Ibuki it probably isn’t too surprising that she would have such a different reaction to Sonia but that doesn’t dissuade his curiosity at all. 

  “I saw Teruteru earlier today and I don’t think ya wanna get your hopes up.” Akane sighs, leaning closer to the others as they’re all huddled up over the coffee table. 

  “What are you guys talking about?” He frowns and creeps slightly closer, getting a good look at the group now gathered in the common room.

  All their bowls have long since been abandoned as they all lean over the coffee table. They might as well all be rubbing their hands together given the vibes they’re giving off. He’s never seen a group look more like they’re plotting and he knew these people as ultimate despair. He can only hope its a more…positive kind of plotting this time. 

  Thankfully Byakuya is still reliable as they lean back from the huddle and begin to explain, “It's Mikan’s birthday tomorrow -” 

  “So we wanted to make a bombtastic party that will blow her socks off!” Ibuki screeches, throwing her hands up in the air. Byakuya has to slap a hand over her mouth to try and smother some of the words before everyone in the building catches wind of the plan. 

  “We thought perhaps it can also be a chance for everyone to get together again.” Sonia hisses under her breath. As she does so her eyes dart around the room anxiously as if Mikan is going to suddenly round the corner. 

  “A party?”

  “A party? Yes foolish mortal, have you never been cursed to hear such declarations before? Or do you need us to eviscerate the plague that fills your ears? If you hold still I will do so for you!” Gundham cackles almost as loudly as Ibuki. As he does so Sonia winces next to him, torn between giving Gundham space and trying to shut him up just like Ibuki. 

  “Hmmmm! Hm hm hm.” Ibuki tries to speak but her words are too muffled and smothered to even be legible at this point. He’s not even sure why she’s attempting but questioning anything Ibuki does is an exercise in futility. 

  He looks around at the room slowly, drinking in the sight of the people all around. As nice as a party sounds they might be getting a little ahead of themselves. It’s not like he wants to skip over Mikan’s birthday - hell they could do with something light-hearted - but it will be even more depressing if people refuse to show up. How can they ask people like Hiyoko to come out and celebrate after everything? 

  Doing his best to keep his voice even he asks, “Are people going to want to attend a party though?”

  However, judging by the casual shrugs moving around the room, he isn’t the only one who had this thought, “We will only know if we try.” Byakuya sighs as they finally release their hold on Ibuki’s mouth. 

  Akane leans back in her chair, folding her arms behind her head, “If we have a party then they others might come out.” 

  The last thing he needs is to be a complete buzz kill. What harm could it do after all? “It could be worth trying.” He shrugs and slips back onto the couch he had been on earlier, “What are you going to do for the party?” 

  Even though he had only been gone for a few minutes with Nagito they have a surprisingly detailed plan already set out. Everything from food to music to decorations is already covered. It’s honestly impressive all things considered.

  There’s still a pit in his stomach thinking about everything that could go wrong but he resolves to ignore it. Even if it all goes terribly, at least they tried. Imagine if he had never tried to heal the others. They’ve earned a little party, no matter how he feels about it. 

  For the entire evening of party he keeps up his smile and does his best to offer solutions to all their plans. It’s only when he finally flees into the quiet of his own room that he lets his smile drop as he buries himself in his covers and bunks down for the night. 

Chapter Text

12/05 - 08:23

  “This is a terrible idea.” He hisses to Fuyuhiko in the chair next to him. Gritting his teeth the whole time.

  “You’re probably right.” 

  Him, Nagito and Fuyuhiko are all gathered at the head of the table, watching everyone else potter about to put the finishing touches on everything. Not one of them dare speak in more than a whisper, just in case they attract unwanted attention. Although their voices might not be loud, he can't say the same about the rest of their activities. The sheer amount of sound coming from all the setting up and clattering must have been noticed by Mikan by now. And yet she still hasn’t made any moves so far. 

  No matter how much they knocked, Teruteru never did come out of his room (he probably would have been more surprised if he did come out at this point). They even sent Akane in to talk with him but nothing. She wouldn’t even tell them what they talked about or what was going on when she saw him yesterday - not that he wants to be the one asking about it. 

  With him refusing to show up, Hajime had been stuck on food duty once more. Thankfully Fuyuhiko and Nagito had offered to help him as they slowly pieced together a few small finger foods to litter about the table - although he's not sure why Nagito offered considering how little he can do at this point. Even though they’d finished a good ten minutes ago, everyone else hadn’t even looked in their direction, still busying themselves as much as possible.

  Peko had accompanied Fuyuhiko out of the room and is now helping Nekomaru and Akane string decorations up on the ceiling of the room. Her eyes constantly flicking back to Fuyuhiko every other second. The decorations are nothing fancy of course but Ibuki and Sonia had stayed up all night last night making them. Countless small paper butterflies and presents in purple and white all made with tender care. They’re a bit lopsided and you can clearly tell Ibuki’s from Sonia’s but he would be lying if he said they weren’t some of the sweetest things he’s seen despite everything.

  Byakuya and Kazuichi weren’t able to avoid her gaze either. As soon as they stepped into the room she had roped them into dealing with the lights before Hajime has had a chance to even think about trying to check up on Kazuichi. They’re both forced to fight Akane, Nekomaru, and Peko for space on the ceiling and walls as they string lights up all over the place. While it certainly does look magical with sparkling light everywhere, when put alongside everything else it’s a little…busy. Not that he’s going to tell Sonia that. 

  With everyone else busy, Sonia and Gundham had sat down to start making party hats and origami swans. It’s no surprise that Sonia folds the paper with elegant ease, however beside her Gundham is still fumbling with the paper. Without his usual bandages to protect his hands he has been destroyed with paper cuts. Doing her best to help him, she leans over trying to show him all the folds but it does very little to make an actual difference. It does manage to save his fingers a little though so he supposes that's good at least. 

  “Everyone is working well together though.” Nagito smiles but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. Something else brewing beneath the surface.

  “For how long?” Fuyuhiko sighs, leaning back in his chair until he’s practically tipping back in the chair. 

  “I guess we’ll wait and see.” Hajime sighs and reaches to grab a few small grapes from the bowl in front of them.

  Apparently he wasn’t as slick as he thought he was though, “Hey! We cannot eat the food until the birthday girl is here!” Sonia yells across the room making him flinch. Good, because that’s totally not going to give anything away to Mikan. 

  “Fine fine!” He hisses under his breath, “When are we bringing Mikan in?”

  “Ibuki will bring Mikan in as soon as we give her the signal.” Byakuya repeats the instructions as if he hadn’t been right here when they were going through the plan.

  “Yeah, but when are we ready? The food has been sat here for a while now and we have plenty of decorations up and about. I think Mikan would prefer just spending time with us for her birthday.” He scans the room, looking for anyone to back him up. They must know he’s right. 

  Thankfully he always has Fuyuhiko right there ready to support him, “He has a point.” He’s never been more glad to have the smaller man around. 

  “Hmmmm, how about we put the finishing touches on everything and then we call it a day.” 

  A sigh of relief ripples through the room. It takes everything he has to stop himself from grinning smugly. 

  Thankfully, when she meant the finishing touches she really meant it. Kazuichi and Byakuya work at lightening pace to throw up the last lights, all of their neat placement suddenly gone out the window. Even Gundham is moving faster although it doesn’t make him any more efficient. By the time they all step back from their work the room is looking suitably festive. It’s like a fairy had thrown up on the walls and ceilings given the sheer number of glittering lights and butterflies scattered about but regardless of how it looks he’s sure Mikan would love it. It’s impossible for her not to. 

  “This is going to be the best birthday party ever!” Sonia claps her hands excitedly as she examines the room. He bites his tongue and turns away from Sonia as casually as he can. He just can’t bare standing there watching everyone get so excited when the knot is quickly tightening within him. 

  “Hopefully Mikan enjoys it.” Peko mumbles as she slinks back to Fuyuhiko’s side. Her footsteps almost completely silent.

  Without her sword slung over her back she practically looks naked. While the loose casual clothes looks less than impressive on everyone, it looks even stranger on her. Her usually neatly braided hair loose and hanging freely around her in waves. She almost looks like a normal person. The only thing breaking the illusion is the stiff way she stands behind Fuyuhiko, never quite letting down her guard. 

  “Of course she will.” Nekomaru chuffs, folding his arms proudly.

  “Okay, I will go and give Ibuki the signal then!” Sonia practically starts skipping on the spot. Her excitement leaking out of every pore, “Everyone get in position!” She hisses quietly as she turns around to start skipping down the hallway to Mikan’s room. 

  They had decided against a proper surprise party - jumping out and scaring the poor woman didn’t feel appropriate for the situation - but that didn’t mean they were fully abandoning the idea. All of them form a herd in the center of the room, making sure they’re in full view of the entrance. With all the walkers in the room the space which had once seemed relatively large now feels surprisingly cramped. While Byakuya and Peko are pretty stable on their own now, Gundham, Nekomaru and Nagito need all the help they can get. He can only imagine how much more cramped it will feel when Ibuki and Mikan are here too. Nevertheless they all get as close to each other as they possibly can, readying themselves for the moment Mikan reappears. 

  Each and every one of them are holding their breaths as they slowly hear Mikan draw closer and closer. Footsteps dragging on the ground. From here they can hear every single creak and step. Every breath that comes from all three women, not to mention all of Ibuki’s mindless chatter. 

  Mikan must have been given some warning before heading over here but you'd never be able to tell from just looking at her as she rounds the corner into the room. Even as they all throw their arms up excitedly, they get to watch her face light up until it outshines all the lights around them. 

  “Happy birthday Mikan!!!” 

  It sounds more like a zoo enclosure than anything else. He knows what they’re saying but even he can barely understand them. And yet that still doesn’t stop Mikan grinning from ear to ear. He’s never seen someone look so red before in their life, small tears bead at the corner of her eyes.

  Before she can even say anything, Ibuki throws herself onto Mikan’s back. Whispering something in her ear which only makes Mikan cry even harder.

  “Do not -” Sonia steps forward to talk but stops herself as soon as she catches sight of Byakuya and Nekomaru shaking their heads. 

  “Look! Baby gangsta and the other dudes made a ton of snacks!” Akane makes her way over to the main table, seemingly unaware of the sharp gaze Fuyuhiko throws her way. Grabbing an apple from the pile of fruit and throwing it towards Mikan without so much as a hint of a warning

  As such Mikan just ducks out of the way of it with a screech. Hands flying up to protect her head, not even considering trying to catch it. If it wasn't for Sonia standing behind her, catching it without so much as a second look, it would have smashed into the wall. 

  Still that doesn't bother Ibuki in the slightest, even as Mikan whimpers meekly, “C’mon let’s sit down and eat.” 

  At once everyone kicks into action. Chatter disperses around the room as they all find their way into chairs around the table. Hajime is one of the first to take a seat at the table near the door, Nagito and Kazuichi taking seats either side of him once again.

  Across from them are Akane, Nekomaru, and Byakuya who are already locked into a conversation about the food in front of them. Meanwhile at the opposite end of the table Sonia and Gundham take their seats across from Ibuki and Mikan - although he gets the distinct impression Gundham was dragged over.

  Finally Fuyuhiko and Peko slink into chairs that are slightly separated from everyone else. Always maintaining a few empty chairs between them and everyone else. 

  Sitting here everything seems so easy and normal. Sure there are still a few empty chairs but he imagines this was how everyone used to eat together when they were still at Hope’s Peak academy. Did everyone sit with each other in the canteen or did they split up into smaller groups? Right now it’s hard to imagine they were ever separate. 

  “What are you eating Izu - Hajime?” Kazuichi whispers, leaning in close to him to make sure he can be heard over all the chatter around the table. 

  “Hmmm…just give me whatever you're having.” He hands Kazuichi his plate gently. With his head resting on his hands he watches Kazuichi get stuck into the food, piling it high on both of their plates. 

  Its not just Kazuichi, everyone is filling up the food on their plates. They move like a well oiled machine, reaching for plates and passing things across the table until everyone has a large selection in front of them. Even Akane has a decent plateful of food in front of her as she turns to laugh at Nekomaru beside her. 

  “Sooooo, how does the birthday girl want to spend her birthday?” Ibuki hums as she leans towards 

  “U-Ummm, w-w-well y-you’ve all al-already d-d-done enough.”

  “Nonsense!” Sonia shakes her head violently, sitting up a little taller, “it is a birthday so we must celebrate to our hearts content!”

  But of course all that does is make Mikan cry more. Her sobs filling the room until he can hear nothing else. Normally that would probably be a point of concern and yet instead he can see people around the room smiling ever so slightly as they look over at her. Drinking in the sight as if they have found water in the desert. 

  “Ibuki wanted to plan the grandest birthday party ever but this place is boring.”

  “We have cards and alcohol. They might even have Monopoly hidden away here somewhere.” Hajime sighs, but even as he says it he’s not sure if he’s joking or not. Maybe this is really what they’ve sunk to. Is every celebration just going to be them getting completely wasted? That is assuming they didn't just drink all the alcohol the other night...

  “Truly a grand birthday!” Although Nekomaru smiles and laughs, even he can’t hide the emotions bubbling just beneath the surface. 

  “We shall find something fun to do.”

  “As we were setting up we did talk about getting you a present but -”

  It’s as Kazuichi says that that Mikan looks up. Her head snapping to meet Kazuichi’s gaze as she waves her arms frantically. Shaking her head so much that he’d be shocked if she could see anything. 

  “I-It’s fine! J-Just being here i-is the b-best present I c-c-could have!” She frantically wipes at her eyes with the heels of her hands. Digging them in so hard that her eyes must be burning but she doesn’t react more than letting out a muffled sniffle. 

  “Do you remember the time when we snuck out of school for your birthday to have a picnic in the park!” Ibuki rubs her hands together, a mischievous grin playing over her lips as she does so. 

  “The forests shall remember those tales we spun until the universe itself comes to it’s withering end.”

  “Oh, what about the time when -”

  Hajime listens quietly from the sidelines as people begin recounting tales of birthday’s long past. Each story sounding like some kind of mystical fairy tale that he will never be able to comprehend. Although Peko, Fuyuhiko, and Nagito remain silent throughout, his worries about this whole thing gradually seem to leave his mind. Fluttering up as the atmosphere grows lighter and lighter. 

  Of course it’s not like they can actually forget about everything but it’s about as close as they’re going to get. If he strains himself hard enough he can almost pretend they’re just a group of friends celebrating together and nothing more. 

  However that was never going to last. As if the universe is specifically trying to prove him wrong, it’s at that moment another familiar voice begins to fill the room. Popping the bubble that had begun to descend over them.

  He should have known better than to jinx this whole thing… 

  “Why are they here?!” Hiyoko shouts from the doorway with an accusatory finger aimed at Fuyuhiko and Peko. Her finger shakes - no, not just her finger, her entire body is trembling. If he didn’t know they were indoors right now he would assume she was caught up in a strong wind. 

  Of all the people he was expecting to show up, Hiyoko certainly wasn't one of them. Honestly, he didn't even realise they had been invited. The idea in itself is preposterous and yet there is no way he's hallucinating the sight in front of him right now.

  “Hiyoko…” Mahiru tries to reach for Hiyoko's arm she snaps it away before she can grab a hold. 

  Taking charge Ibuki jumps up from her chair and runs over to greet the two newcomers. As she does so she picks them up two plates, grinning the entire time.

  “Hiyoko and Mahiru! You came!” She presses the plates into each of their hands enthusiastically, “Here come and grab some food!” 

  That does nothing to wipe the disgusted look off of Hiyoko's face though. She doesn’t lower her finger but she does look at each of them in turn, giving each of them a scathing glare.

  “You heard what I said, why are they here?!” She spits the words out with an unprecedented hostility. Friendly isn't usually the word he would use to describe her but still…

  Everyone around the table stiffens. No one dares say a word but they can all hear the sharp clattering of cutlery as people suddenly drop everything they were holding back onto their plates. You could hear a pin drop. 

  In the end Gundham is the one to step up and break the silence, “Hiyoko cease your heckling. Sonia has dared to host a banquet and we do not wish to cast you aside.”

  “What the fuck does that mean?!” Hiyoko sneers, wrinkling up her nose as she glares as Gundham. Flames and fury washing over her in waves.

  Fuyuhiko looks down the entire time. Shrinking away from her gaze. His chest rises and falls rapidly, absorbing each and every word. When he finally does raise his head he’s met with Hiyoko’s burning eyes.

  “I…we…” He does his best to hold Hiyoko's gaze. But even then he bites down on his lower lip, trying to squeeze out any words at all.

  Luckily Nekomaru is there to save the day. Holding an arm out as if gesturing to the entire table before him, “Peko and Fuyuhiko are our friends too, just like Mikan.”

  At the mention of Mikan, Hiyoko’s entire body stutters, her shoulders rippling like a wire that has been pulled taut. For the first time since entering she lets her eyes fall onto Mikan's still sobbing form.

  At once the other woman shrinks down in her chair, trying to hide away but without Ibuki to act as a barrier she’s fully exposed. For once her tears are completely silent other than the sound of the droplets splattering on the table beneath her. The sounds gradually getting closer and closer together.

  As if trying to match the pace, Hiyoko's chest rises and falls faster and faster and faster and faster with each droplet. Pupils widening. The more she stares, the more her eyes begin to glisten.

  It’s at that moment that Mahiru reaches forward, interlocking her fingers with Hiyoko firmly, “We came here to pay our respects, Hiyoko.”

  Her fingers tug at Hiyoko softly. Soothingly. Every motion carefully calculated. Bit by bit Hiyoko breathes slower and slower until she finally tears her eyes from Mahiru. As she does so she finally blinks, fat tears trickling down her face.

  Clenching her jaw she brings her attention back to Fuyuhiko and Peko again, “That was before I knew those guys were here too. At least Teruteru was smart enough not to show his face around here.” Her hand swings back to point at Teruteru's door behind her, “What do you have to say for yourselves?!” With every word more tears begin trickling down her face. 

  “Hiyoko you were able to sorta handle it in the program. Why d’ya have such a problem now?” Akane sighs, rolling her eyes. He doesn’t even bother hiding his wince as he tries to shift as far back as he can with the chair keeping him pinned in place.

  It’s not like she’s completely wrong, those of them that were there aren't going to forget the events of Fuyuhiko’s recovery party. Yet even then, her showing up to that in the first place was a miracle. It would be unfair to hold her to her choices back then for the rest of time. Conditions have changed since then.

  However, once more she’s adamantly avoiding even catching a slight glance of Mikan in her peripheral vision. It doesn’t take a genius to start piecing things together. It wasn’t Fuyuhiko and Peko that had her vomiting on the floor. It wasn’t them that caught her breath in her lungs. 

  “Have you forgotten what he did to m - to Mahiru?!” Veins are slowly starting to pop on her forehead as she screams at Akane. And then her neck snaps to address Mahiru, “To Sato!” 

  At that Mahiru flinches back. Her fingers pull at her nails desperately, as if trying to peel them off. Unlike Hiyoko she’s not hyperventilating but she looks like she’s swallowed a rock, nursing a huge lump in her throat. 

  Fuyuhiko’s head falls down until he’s staring into his food. His chin is practically pressed against his chest but it does nothing to hide the ragged stuttering of his rib cage. His exposed eye instantly screws shut as if that’s somehow going to hide him from the world around him.

  However, Peko isn’t quite as closed up. In fact quite the opposite. Her palm slams down on the table, the force making everyone’s plates jump up for a moment. At the same time she shoots to her feet, sending her chair scattering out beside her. Without her sword to cling onto, she grips the fork in front of her, bending the metal with her grip alone. 

  “Have you forgotten what was done to Natsumi?” She hisses through clenched teeth. 

  “Don’t you dare say a word you foul faced bitch!” 

  They all freeze at once. Maybe if they just stay still enough this will go away. He isn't going to pretend he truly knows Peko but her words catch him completely off guard. The person he'd known in the program had been quiet, calm, measured. Even as a despair she was never the type to yell like that. No matter how much his mind struggles to piece together the images of her in his mind and this current person, he is unsuccessful. 

  When he said he had a bad feeling about this party this wasn’t quite what he meant. It's clear that this is something they have to figure out between the four of them and yet everyone else is also trapped here watching. Unable to escape. Anything they say is going to go over poorly at this point. 

  Peko and Hiyoko both raise their hackles, their hair practically standing on end. Neither of them is making a sound but just watching them staring at each other is like a siren blaring in the room. They might as well be on their hind legs hissing at one another. It doesn't matter how much Fuyuhiko and Mahiru are tugging on their arms, trying to drag them apart, it seems like they don't want to be the first one to look away.

  “Hiyoko.” Mahiru hisses, tilting her head so she doesn’t need to look at Peko or Fuyuhiko and she can fully focus on Hiyoko, “Look, we just came to not be rude.”

  Kazuichi subtly turns to him, “It seems to be going well...” He mutters in the quietest whisper possible so only Hajime can pick it up and yet the tone does nothing to alleviate the pressure building in his chest.

  Honestly, at this point he’s not even sure why they came. Sure they might be fighting with Fuyuhiko and Peko but they can’t pretend that is the real issue here. This entire party was a losing game from the start when it comes to Hiyoko. If they already knew that then why bother in the first place? Mahiru never seemed that short-sighted before.

  Ibuki tentatively begins creeping forwards. She holds her hand out towards Hiyoko as if she was approaching a wild animal, “C'mon. Why don’t you just take a seat and we'll give you some yummy food. You can’t stay sad when you’re full of yumminess!” Her voice is softer than normal. It lacks her usual flair and personality. He had no idea she could ever be subdued but there is no other word to describe her right now. 

  She slowly walks closer and closer until she’s fully blocking Hiyoko’s view of table. Not just covering Peko and Fuyuhiko but also blocking her view of Mikan. 

  “Come on Hiyoko.” Mahiru is still turned towards Hiyoko, leaning close to her ear. With Ibuki in the way he can’t fully see Hiyoko to analyse her body language but he can here the ragged way she sighs before she finally replies. 

  “Fine. But I’m not sitting anywhere near them.”

  They don’t need any more of a signal than that. At once they all shoot up from their chairs, grabbing their plates. Silently communicating they all shift about the table until Fuyuhiko and Peko have shuffled all the way down to the opposite side of the table, leaving a few chairs free next to Ibuki. 

  Silence sits heavy between them as they wait cautiously behind their chairs for Hiyoko and Mahiru to make the first move. It’s only when they finally pull out their chairs and sit down with their plates that anyone else dares to take a seat. Of course the first person to take jump is Ibuki as she slides into the seat beside Mahiru, helping the other woman fill up her plate with food. 

  “Hajime did a great job with all the food so you’ll love it!” She somehow manages to smile as she carefully explains each of the dishes on the table.

  One by one they all retake their seats, quietly taking a few bites of their food. With no one else speaking there is nothing they can do except listen in as Ibuki chatters away at Hiyoko and Mahiru who might be the only people in the room not listening. 

  As everyone else slowly relaxes, Fuyuhiko and Peko shuffle their chairs closer together so they can whisper to one another. No matter how much he strains his ears he can’t for the life of him pick up on anything they’re saying but at least now they’re entirely hidden from Mahiru and Hiyoko’s line of sight. Hopefully that will be enough for now at least.

  Sonia is the one who finally breaks the ice, elegantly clearing her throat before she sits up as straight as she can physically manage, “I was talking to the doctors that were working with Naegi and the others today.” 

  Hajime feels his heart skip a beat. He had some food in his mouth but he stops chewing at once, his shoulders tightening at once. The doctors? Since when were they here? How did he not know about this?!

  This is stupid. He knew the doctors were likely going to come again. Naegi already made it clear that it was important for people to be checked over after leaving - these guys even more so considering everything. But it still feels like a stab in the gut as he fights to keep himself from doubling over just like that. Would it really be so bad if Hajime just checked everyone over himself.

  Nevertheless he shakes his head clear. Hiding himself. He needs to grown up. These are the doctors Naegi trusted - these aren’t the people that used to work at Hope’s Peak. This isn’t logical in the slightest. But that doesn’t get rid of the lump in his throat. 

  He can feel the eyes of Nagito burning into him but he does his best to ignore the man. Instead he tries to focus in on the conversation echoing through the room.

  “- were here when we first woke up and Naegi said they would be returning.” Kazuichi fills everyone in as casually as he can. Even though he’s right beside Hajime he doesn’t glance Hajime's way even once. Instead he mutters, waving his fork about nonchalantly. 

  “They’re back then?” Akane raises one eyebrow. 

  “Yes. They wanted to check in but I suggested they start tomorrow.”

  Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. 

  He breathes in steadily and digs his nails into his palm until he draws blood. The warm liquid drips down his arm but he embraces the warmth. 

  Somewhere in the distance he can hear Byakuya saying something with a sense of absolute conviction but the words roll over him with ease. Part of him might have been listening but nothing has made its way into his memory. 

  The next thing he remembers is Nagito leaning closer, his brow tightly creased. “Izuru -” He mutters as quietly as he physically can. 

  But Hajime never gets the chance to hear what he wanted to say as Kazuichi suddenly lurches towards him. As he gets closer he drops a spoonful of curried rice on Hajime's plate.

  “Oh, I wanted to apologise, Hajime.” Kazuichi blurts out even though he has a mouthful of food. Still entirely oblivious to Nagito's presence. 

  As soon as Kazuichi starts speaking Nagito flitters back to his old positioning as if hard resetting. He turns back to his food but Hajime gets the distinct feeling he is still listening to every word.

  “You wanted to apologise? What for?”

  “For leaving like that. I know I kinda disappeared for the last few days. It wasn’t fair for me to ditch you like that.” Kazuichi lowers his gaze as he speaks, forcing out every word. 

  He quickly waves it aside, “Ah, that. It’s okay. It’s fine. I was able to handle it and the others helped out.”

  As annoying as it was, it really wasn’t a big deal. Sure they made these big plans about having two people around all the time but they managed with just him so it didn’t even matter in the end. If something had gone wrong it might have been another issue but as it stands there was nothing to worry about. 

  “It still wasn’t fair.”

  He sets down his food and fully turns in his chair to address Kazuichi, his expression hardening. “Well thanks for apologising. Did you learn what you needed to?”

  “How did you -?” Kazuichi frowns for a moment before shaking his head clear, “Never mind. Yeah, I think so.”

  He doesn’t even need to force the smile that rests on his face, “That’s all that matters then.”

  “Thanks. You’re a good friend.”

  Before he can return the sentiment he’s cut off. An ear piercing yell echoes through the room. He has to hold himself back from clamping his hands over his ears. Instead he stands up as fast as he can and peers down the table to the source of the noise. 

  “Hiyoko! Are you okay?” Mahiru is yelling, reaching over to Hiyoko and gripping her shoulders firmly.

  Hiyoko is hunched over in her chair, her legs pulled up onto it so she’s bundled up in a small ball, her entire body shaking. Sound alone is enough to tell him that her breaths are dangerously shallow as her arms remain tightly wrapped around her knees. Just when he thinks they can't get any faster she somehow manages to prove him wrong.

  Is she having a panic attack? 

  “Hiyoko?!” Ibuki calls out desperately, searching around the table for anything she can use. “Here, breathe into this.” She picks up a napkin and folds it into a weak looking ‘bag’. It’s more of a pocket than anything else.

  Thankfully Mahiru knocks aside the napkin pocket and turns Hiyoko to face her, crouching down to her height. “Here, copy my breathing.”

  The two of them stare into each others eyes as they begin breathing together, slowly trying to bring down her heart rate and breathing rate as much as possible. 

  While everyone is occupied with Hiyoko, he takes the time to look around the room to try and piece together what had happened. Everything looks normal from where he is sitting though. All the food and plates look completely normal. The only thing that is out of place is the cup of water that has been knocked over onto Hiyoko’s plate, the water slowly drowning the small amount of food that had been sitting on it.

  Well, almost the only thing.

  Mikan is stood up, breathing almost as fast as Hiyoko. She’s always been pretty pale but she looks even more sickly than ever as she tries to stumble towards Hiyoko. 

  “I’m s-sorry, Hiyoko. I didn’t mean to -” Her arms are flailing about desperately - he's not even sure she realises she's moving them at all. 

  And then she makes the biggest mistake. She reaches towards Hiyoko, her arm resting on the Hiyoko’s shoulder for the briefest moment. 

  At once Hiyoko spins around, glaring daggers into the nurse, “Leave! I don’t want to look at you! Can’t you just disappear forever?!” The words blur together, squeezed out between panicked breaths but the effect is the same nonetheless. 

  Mikan jumps back as if she had just been burned, her fists pulling at her hair, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’M SORRY!” She practically screams the last words, frantically looking around the entire room as if she’s pleading to them not Hiyoko. 

  “Mikan -” Byakuya tries to reach towards Mikan but she’s already gone. 

  Before anyone else can take a single step she’s left the room at top speed, leaving the communal area entirely and disappearing down the main corridor. One of them should probably chase after her but they’re all frozen to the spot. Trapped between Mikan and Hiyoko and unable to do anything.  

  What even happened? Sure things hadn’t been great earlier but Hiyoko had seemed to calm down somewhat. As calm as she could be given the circumstances. What could have happened between them in such a short period of time? He can’t imagine Mikan doing something to Hiyoko - at least not on purpose. 

  “Hiyoko? Are you feeling better now?” Ibuki’s words snap him back to Hiyoko at once. 

  Her breathing has stilled slightly but her hands are now clamped around her head, hiding her face from view. Without warning she jumps up, shoving even Mahiru aside. Just like Mikan she suddenly takes off sprinting, the only difference being that she heads the opposite way. Running off towards her room at once. As she runs he just about catches a glimpse of her face, it’s still stained with tears, every inch of her skin bright pink and tightly screwed up. 

  “Leave me alone!” She screeches at the top of her lungs, slamming her door closed behind her.

  “Hiyoko…” Mahiru sighs as she stares down at the ground, “I’m going to check on her. You might want to check on Mikan…” But despite her words, she doesn’t once raise her head. Her shoulders are hunched over, making her seem smaller than ever. 

  None of them make any moves to stop Mahiru as she slowly stalks off to Hiyoko’s room. If anyone can help Hiyoko it will be Mahiru. He feels bad for always putting this on her but if anyone else went in there he can only imagine how much worse it would be. All they can do is stand there as Mahiru disappears, leaving them alone in the heavy awkwardness. 

  “This party went well…” Akane mumbles, dropping her chopsticks onto her plate with a clatter. It’s only then that he notices, unlike everyone else, her plate is still basically full. Even though she had grabbed a decent amount of food, barely more than a few bites is gone from it all. 

  “You can say that again.” Kazuichi sighs, pushing his food aside so he can face plant onto the table.

  “We should try to find Mikan. This was meant to be her birthday after all.” Sonia mutters, biting her lower lip. He'd expected she would be the one to take charge and check on her but instead she seems to gradually shrink in on herself. 

  Ibuki moves to volunteer herself but Hajime holds a hand up before she can, “I’ll go and look for her. I know this place pretty well so I’ll be able to find her quickly.”

  Ibuki stiffens and her smile drops but she nods anyway. Regardless of how close they are even she can hear the logic in Hajime's words. 

  “We’ll leave it to you then.” Nekomaru clenches his jaw and gently pulls Akane along by the shoulder. 

  Not wanting to waste a second he shoves his hands in his pockets and flees the room. It’s a big building but he already knows exactly where he’s going. There’s one place he often saw Mikan when she was a despair. If there’s one place she would go when she’s upset then it’s definitely there…that is if someone told her how to access it already…

  Sure enough, she’s right there.

  He has no idea who would have told her about this place but maybe she just stumbled upon it on her own. Clearly someone left the door off the latch since the key card wasn't needed to get up here but that’s hardly one of their top ten concerns right now. 

  As he approaches she’s right there, crouched on the edge of the roof. Both legs tucked up tightly until she’s nothing more than a small ball perched right on the edge. Silhouetted against the red sky she looks much smaller than usual. A feeble animal curling in on itself. Sinking away into nothing. 

  Her jagged and slightly matted hair is swooping around her almost elegantly as the wind dances with her. With the wind like this you could pretend she’s only shaking from the force of it. Pretending is what she needs right now…what they both need. 

  “Mikan?” He takes a cautious step forward, “Mikan? Is it okay if I join you?”

  She doesn’t say anything but her shoulders tremble ever so slightly. Each of his footsteps are as loud as he can make them but she never once tells him to go away. Maintaining a good distance from her he sits on the edge of the roof, letting his feet dangle freely. 

  “I always love it up here. It feels so freeing. Like the rest of the world doesn’t exist.” He breathes in heavily and tilts his head up to the sky. He can only imagine how fresh the air must have tasted when it actually was fresh and wasn’t polluted. 

  Mikan hums softly but he doesn’t dare turn towards her. He can hear each and every meek and muffled sob as they shake through the very core of her being. When he closes his eyes he can even hear the sound of her tears smacking against the roof and the sound of her fiercely rubbing at her already raw eyes. 

  “I’m sorry for what happened down there.”

  He’s not really sure why he’s apologising to her, it’s not like he did anything wrong himself. Maybe he’s just apologising for the sake of it. Or maybe just so she hears someone say it, even if it isn’t the person she would want to hear it from. It would be unfair for any of them to demand that from Hiyoko though. In spite of everything, he doesn't blame her at all.

  “N-No…It’s…It’s okay…” She can barely choke out the words. After each one her breath catches so badly he almost thinks she’s about to throw up. With every passing word her voice gets louder. More desperate. More pleading. 

  “It’s not okay.” The unspoken: ‘it’s your birthday’ sits between them like an unwelcome guest.

  Birthdays have always baffled him. Why would anyone want to celebrate the day you were born? It’s not like you did anything special worth celebrating. And yet, warm feelings still soak through his bones at the thought of a birthday. Probably some relic from the Neo World Program. Back when he had a birthday - the first of January. Of course. In way he supposes it just a way of taking a day to show someone how glad you are they’re in the world but they royally messed that one up today. 

  The thought takes him back to a few days ago when they had last brought up the subject. At this point he honestly can't tell which of the two 'celebrations' was more depressing which is saying something. 

  Mikan finally raises her head from her arms, her head snapping around look at Hajime properly, “It…it is….H-Hiyoko i-is right-t.” Her chest rises and falls dramatically with every word she speaks. Her shoulders tremble and her teeth chatter. 

  He’s seen blood shot eyes before, more than he would like to remember, but there’s something so visceral about seeing Mikan like this. He had never noticed just how big her eyes were before. It’s like they contain an entire ocean which is currently spilling out onto her raw red cheeks. He can barely even see the soft gray colour of her eyes through the thick waving layer of tears clinging to her. Tears are all that is left. 

  Who is he to contradict her? It’s not like he can say Hiyoko is wrong. No matter how much he wants to make her feel better, he can’t just go around lying. What would that solve? After everything, it’s not like they can expect Hiyoko to just move on, it’s a miracle that Ibuki could really. Nekomaru and Byakuya too. If they aren’t expecting Mahiru to forgive Peko then how could they ask that of Hiyoko? 

  Without anything else to say, he raises his arms and turns himself slightly toward her, “Would you like a hug?” He had seen her clinging to Ibuki a few times now and it always seemed to soothe the woman but it’s not like he can just go over and hug her without a warning. Not when she’s like this. 

  For a few seconds nothing happens. They both sit there listening to the wind rush between them. But then, instead of speaking, Mikan slowly shuffles towards him, folding herself into his side. Forming a cage around her, he brings his arm down, holding her close to his side. 

  At once she breathes out a deep sigh, her tears staining into his shirt. Each of her breaths rattles through him but he only hold her tighter. The hand that’s wrapped around her gently brushes against the side of her head, matching the pace of her shakes. 

  For a while they just sit there. Not moving. Not speaking. He simply watches the sky in front of them as she cries into him. He’d always assumed tears were a finite resource but sat here now there’s no way that’s the case. Either that or Mikan has managed to cultivate a far larger reserve than the average person. 

  It’s only when her shaking dies down and she starts to turn her head out towards the sky before them that he dares to speak. Breaking the perfect silence they had cultivated. 

  “Did Sonia fill you in on what happened after you died in the Neo World Program?” He hums as quietly as he can, his head resting on top of hers. 

  She flinches at the motion for a second before settling once again, her head tilting ever so slightly to look further out at the sky. Instead of speaking she simply shakes her head, jostling him ever so slightly.

  “Would you like to know?”

  A pause. Nothing. He waits, holding his breath until he feels a gentle nod. 

  “Well, first Nekomaru was brought back to us as a robot.”  

  Mikan stiffens instantly, pulling away from him so she can properly look at his face. The tears might have stopped but her cheeks are still glistening and her eyes are still completely bloodshot. However, instead of the crumpled and shivering expression he had seen before, her eyes are wide with disbelief. Studying him curiously. 

  “I know, it sounds crazy but it was a program after all. Anything was possible.” That seems to settle her somewhat. Although she stays sat up, watching him curiously, her body relaxes somewhat into him again, “And then we got tricked into entering this crazy fun house and Gundham killed Nekomaru. And after that Nagito went off the deep end, he figured out that we were all the remnants of despair and he tried to kill us all by setting up Chiaki to kill him and trying to make it so we wouldn’t be able to figure out she did it.”

  “Chiaki…” Her voice cracks painfully as she utters a single word. The one word that seems to hang over all of their heads.   

  “Yeah. She sacrificed herself so we could all survive.” 

  It feels strange saying it aloud. She was just an AI program - an NPC of sorts - and yet it’s the only word that fits her actions. No matter what it still felt like a true sacrifice. They had never had much time to process what happened to her in the program but now…knowing she is gone for good unlike everyone else…he almost wonders if it would have been better if they had all died instead. At least they were able to be re-awoken but Chiaki…

  “I…is she…?”

  “She died years ago when Junko…” He swallows the lump that is rising in his throat. Even just saying the words brings the images of her broken body back into his mind. A ghost forever haunting him. His punishment for never stopping Junko. It’s not like he couldn’t have. If he had wanted to he could have put an end to her at any point in time. But he didn’t and now here they are. 

  He clears his throat and tries to chase the thoughts away, “She was just an AI program built from our memories of Chiaki. And yet she knew the entire time who we really are. Unlike the rest of us she knew why we had been put there that entire time and she was willing to break her protocol to save us. She believed in us all and wanted to do everything she could to save us. She was able to forgive us for what we did.”

  “W-What are you-u trying-g to s-say…?” She stutters, tightening her grip on his shirt as if it her last life line in this world. 

  “Look, it wasn’t just you that hurt people in there. Teruteru killed Byakuya, Peko killed Mahiru, Gundham killed Nekomaru and Nagito tried to kill everyone. This wasn’t just you attacking people.”

  With each name he speaks into being, the images of their bodies flashes before him. No matter how much he tells himself that they’re still here despite everything, the images refuse to leave.

  “I-I know but I r-remember how it felt. I really wanted to kill them both. I-I needed-d t-to go back t-to Junko.” 

  To remember all that, he can’t even imagine how that feels. Even remembering the things he did while working alongside Junko sends a chill down him and those were strangers he had never met. How would it feel to have actively enjoyed doing those things to people you cared about? It isn’t just Mikan either. Junko was right, they had butchered and tortured their own families while working with her. Everyone must be feeling this in someway or another - even if they don't show it on the surface.

  “Yeah well fuck Junko.” He spits the words out with all the power he can muster. 

  “But -”

  He shifts his position slightly so he can grip her shoulders and hold her at his eye level, “Look, if you think you don’t deserve forgiveness because of what you did to Hiyoko and Ibuki then that’s fine. I can’t argue that you do deserve forgiveness. But if you don’t forgive yourself then remember we’ve all done equally terrible things as remnants of despair. When you killed them both you were the despair version of yourself again. By that logic we need to remember all the terrible things we did, not just that one. We’re all in the same boat unfortunately.”

  “W-We’re all going-g to hell, a-aren’t we?”

  That makes him chuckle for a split second. As if it was even a question at this point. It’s not like he believes in a god - what god would design the world they live in? - but the thought is amusing nonetheless. 

  “Probably. But at least we’ll go together right.” He releases his hold on her slightly, letting her fold back into his side with ease. “Was this how you wanted to spend your birthday?”

  Mikan burst into tears once again but this time it feels different. Between the heart wrenching sobs are what almost sounds like laughs. Even though she’s clinging to his side, he can almost catch her smiling a few times. 

  It might not be the fantastic birthday party they all had planned but as he sits there holding onto her, he lets himself smile for a moment. Nothing has changed and yet he feels lighter. He just holds Mikan tighter, watching the red sky hovering above them.

Chapter Text

13/05 - 09:12

  “Can you pass the juice?” Sonia asks, clearing her throat.

  They’re all gathered around the table once again. If he had thought their last meal together was the most awkward it could get then he was sorely mistaken. 

The silence alone is deafening, let alone the side looks being thrown less than subtly around the table. 

  “Here.” Kazuichi sighs but he slides the jug over without much hassle. 

  No one is surprised that Hiyoko and Mahiru didn’t show up to breakfast today. Sonia had been hopeful and coerced Hajime into cooking again but even the warm scent of food didn’t do the job. 

  However, much to his relief, Peko, Fuyuhiko, and Mikan all still showed up. Sure, Fuyuhiko and Peko are pressed so close together they might as well be sitting on each other and Mikan is just barely pretending to play with her food but at least it’s something. Sat next to Akane, it's hard to not drawn the comparisons between the both of them. Mirror images. Both if them fiddling with their food, gently pushing it to and fro on the plate.

  The atmosphere probably isn’t helped by the complete mess that surrounds them. Decorations still litter the room from yesterday and the fairy lights Byakuya and Kazuichi had strung up are flickering away weakly. Bit by bit the batteries are slowly dying off until eventually they will be gone too. Thankfully Sonia and Gundham had had the foresight to clean up the plates at least, but everything else is practically untouched from the day before.

  When him and Mikan had finally ventured back down they had found the communal area empty. Everyone had fled back to their safe spaces as fast as they could. It’s not like he can blame them though. The only problem is now they need to deal with everything that happened. Not just that, there’s the other thing to deal with. 

  “So you mentioned the doctors wanted to check us out today?” Byakuya hums between bites of food. Their ex.pression is as stoic as ever. All hard edges and firm resolution. 

  He clenches his chopsticks harder but feeling Nagito’s eyes burning into him he refuses to let anything show on his face. Or at least he hopes he does. It's hard to be sure if he's successful or not without being able to see himself. 

  He knew this was coming. He had been bracing himself all evening for the thought of what was to come. No matter what he feels, they need to be checked over. The images of Nagito’s slowly decomposing arm, Fuyuhiko’s rotting eye and Mikan’s..alterations…all flash before him. Let alone whatever they’re going to say about people like Akane. Living like that can't be good for any of them. 

  “Yes. They said the sooner the better.” 

  “All of us?” Kazuichi frowns cautiously, his eyes darting over Hajime, Akane, and Fuyuhiko before settling on Sonia.

  “Yes. I believe we all could do with a check over.” 

  Fuyuhiko throws down his chopsticks, letting them clatter loudly against the smooth china. As he does so he leans back in his chair, Peko’s hand sneakily winding under the table to cling onto his arm, “Fine, what’s the plan then.” He doesn’t even bother trying to hide the way he clenches his jaw. 

  It’s almost a relief to hear other people being less than happy at the idea. For a moment he can trick himself into believing its a completely natural reaction. 

  Taking none of Fuyuhiko’s shit, Sonia clears her throat and sits up straight. Her eyes burns but she maintains a cool and relaxed posture, “I will go and communicate with them. I presume they will call us over as they require us.”

  “Ummm, would you like Ibuki to accompany you?” Ibuki asks tentatively. But even as she speaks she leans into Mikan, letting Mikan cling to her for dear life. 

  “Only if you would be willing to.” Beside her Gundham breathes a sigh of relief. 

  And that’s that. No more questions. No more offers. They all just continue eating quietly, all doing their best to ignore the elephant in the room. 

  In the back of his mind he wonders if Hiyoko or Teruteru are even going to be willing to come out for the doctor. They’ll just have to pray that they understand how important this is. Especially given what was happening yesterday - although he doubts the doctors will be able to help with that. 

  As soon as he has shovelled in as much food as possible he gets up, chucking his plate in the sink, and he stalks off to his room. With every step he can feel Nagito and Kazuichi watching him but he doesn’t dare look back. Not even once. He just needs to be alone in his room for a little while. Just for a little while…

~~~

13/05 - 12:45

  “Gundham Tanaka?” The doctor calls out, stepping into the communal area with his clipboard diligently in his hand.

  A pen has been tucked behind his ear, barely covered by his mess of brown hair. A neat pair of sleek glasses perch on his nose but he doesn’t even look up at them. His eyes are firmly locked on the clipboard and whatever notes he has been given.

  After talking with the doctors, Sonia had gathered them all in the communal area as if trying to mimic a real doctors office. All of them crowded together on the couches, trapped listening to the tapping of feet and out of tune humming that echoes around the entire room. If he didn’t know better he would assume they were trying to drag this out as long as possible. Purposefully keeping them all stuck listening to the names getting called out one by one. 

  Much to his surprise, absolutely everyone showed their face. Most of them had been cramped onto the couches in their little groups - Fuyuhiko and Peko claimed a small couch all to themselves and no one lifts a finger to argue. Giving them both space as they hunch over and mutter together.

  Gundham and Byakuya both got in early and grabbed themselves armchairs before anyone else could stake a claim. However, while Byakuya sits in it all prim and proper, Gundham drags his legs up until they're pressed to his chest. Making him into a small ball as he surveys them from his arm chair perch. 

  At the same time Sonia, Ibuki and Mikan have all been squished onto one of the smaller couches with Akane sat on the floor at their feet. Her head leaning back to rest on the edge of the couch between Sonia and Ibuki. Her matted hair fans around her as she glares up at the ceiling.

  That leaves him stuck on the corner sofa with Nekomaru, Kazuichi. Fortunately they’re both making enough noise with their chatter and foot tapping that it drowns out any sound of his own teeth chattering. 

  Despite everyone else being gathered in the sitting area there are a small handful of people quarantined off. Nagito, Mahiru, Hiyoko and Teruteru had all chosen of their own free will to sit as far away as possible - although he supposes it wasn't like there were an abundance of seating spaces but they didn't need to sit all th way across the room.

  Nagito remains sitting on the floor with his back pressed up against the wall near the corridor to the rooms. At first he had had his head down but it wasn't long before he was sitting upright again. Surveying everyone and everything in that subtle way of his. Only tracking people in his peripheral vision. 

  Meanwhile the others have at least opted to sit up at the table of nothing else. Mahiru and Hiyoko have staked a claim at the dining table, staying as near to the bedrooms as they can without so much as glancing in Nagito's direction. Their heads are lowered, almost pressed together, as they mumble to each other. 

  Across from them, at the opposite side of the dining table is Teruteru. Although he is physically here, he spends the entire time lying on the table, his face hidden by his hair. If he didn’t know for a fact this was Teruteru he would have a hard time believing it. He’s not sure he wants to know how much weight the boy has lost in the last few days. Akane might still be more skeletal but at this point it’s a close match between the two. Seeing him look so decrepit is a foreign feeling. Like the life force has been forcibly sucked out of his body. 

  Has he eaten anything since waking up here? Akane did say it was him she saw in the kitchen but she never did tell them what he was doing.

  He’s agreeing with the idea of seeing a doctor more and more with every passing second. 

  After hearing his name called out, Gundham slowly drags himself out of his chair. Without having his scarf to sink into he just hangs his head as far down as he possibly can until his neck practically disappears into nothingness. He’s always been relatively tall but right now he’s never looked smaller. All they can do is stare at his back as he’s marched away down the hallway - disappearing until even his footsteps are gone. 

  With every person that disappears the tension gets thicker and thicker. Slowly smothering them. First it had been Mikan but even though an hour had passed and she still hadn’t returned. Byakuya had disappeared after and had quickly returned to 

their own room after a short check up. Then it had been Ibuki and even she returned - although she had simply retaken her seat back beside Sonia. No matter how long they wait for there is still no sign of Mikan anywhere. None of them dare ask though. 

  Instead they all wait patiently, counting the seconds until Gundham returns. Somewhere in the back of his mind he’s aware of the others mindless chatter, but he tunes them all out. He tries to distract himself by focusing on Kazuichi beside him who is taking apart and rebuilding a small alarm clock over and over. It might be repetitive and predictable but there’s something soothing about seeing the same motions repeated. Even though Kazuichi is still tapping his foot on the floor, every movement of his hands is smooth and well practiced. A perfectly oiled machine.

  He only tears his eyes away when Gundham steps through the doorway. He doesn’t even look their way before he stalks through the room, making a beeline towards his own bedroom. 

  Still no Mikan. 

  “Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu.” The doctors calls out the name with a monotonous tone.

  Fuyuhiko puffs up his shoulders and shoves his hands in his pockets but he’s not hiding anything from Hajime. Not when he can see the awkward way Fuyuhiko swallows and how his hands shake right before he hides them away. However. even as he’s being lead out of the room, he never looks back. Always focused on moving forwards. 

  Peko shuffles forward, perched directly on the edge of the couch but even she can’t do anything. It’s not like she can just chase after them. She’s as powerless as the rest of them, forced to sit there and wait. Part of him wants to sit next to her and say something but he has no idea what he would say. And he gets the distinct impression she wouldn’t care for his presence. Especially not now. 

   However when the doctor next return Fuyuhiko isn’t with him. Just like with Mikan he has completely vanished into thin air. 

  “Peko Pekoyama.” The words sound almost like a death sentence at this point. The more people that vanish, the harder his heart thunders in his chest. 

  And yet Peko still disappears, following the doctor diligently. In fact, she practically runs out of the room. The entire time her hands are balled into tight fists. Just like everyone else she disappears around the corner and they’re all just left waiting. 

  Once more no one reappears when the doctor next shows up. He has half a mind to turn around and demand answers from Ibuki but before he can say anything the doctor calls out the next name.

  “Ha - Izuru Kamukura.” 

  His breath catches. His heart thunders in his ears so loudly he can’t help but wonder if everyone else is able to hear it too. There is no way they can’t. 

  Every inch of his body wants to turn around and run be he doesn’t. Following Fuyuhiko’s example he simply tucks his hands into his pockets and allows himself to be marched out of the room.

  Although he always follows diligently behind, he makes sure to keep a few steps between him and the other man no matter what. Even when the doctor stops in front of the medical room he makes sure to stay well out of arms reach. Only stepping into the room when the doctor has started fiddling with the equipment in the room. 

  “Take a seat, Kamukura.” The doctor clears his throat as he pulls up his gloves. 

  Cautiously Hajime steps closer to the chair, taking barely more than pigeon steps. It’s the same chair and medical room he had seen with Kazuichi days ago. He should have known he would end up in this chair after everything. He always does. 

  “Kamukura? Is something wrong?” The doctor narrows his eyes. The calculating gaze fixated on Hajime as they look him up and down. 

  Shaking off his discomfort he closes the distance between himself and the chair, hissing through his clenched teeth, “No, nothing’s wrong. I just want to get this over with.”

  “That’s okay. This should be quick.”

  “I was already examined when I first woke up by one of the doctors.” 

  “I understand but we just need to be extra sure. Just in case there have been unexpected long term side effects.”

  “Yeah well, you said you'd be quick.” He grumbles and leans back in the chair. Giving himself up to the mercy of the doctor. 

  Like he’s moving on auto pilot he blindly follows all the doctors instructions. Lifting up his shirt. Breathing into the equipment. Having blood drawn. Standing on the scales. Letting the doctor poke about near his scar. 

  The entire time his head aches and buzzes like he’s been stuffed full of live bees. Even though he’s moving his body, he almost feels like a puppet on strings. Each of his body parts numb and moving on their own without his consent. And yet he stays silent and still, letting the man do everything he needs to. 

  Even as he starts peeling off his gloves, turning his back on Hajime finally, the fuzziness doesn’t fade. It clings to every inch of his skin. Claws dug deep within him. 

  “You’re in relatively good condition. A little underweight for our liking but it could be worse all things considered.” The doctor brushes himself down, not smiling even once, “Your surgery scars have healed well, you clearly had some good doctors.”

  Good doctors. He almost wants to laugh but his body doesn’t respond to him. Instead he just mutters, “Yeah…”

  “Just make sure you’re eating three meals a day and try to take some multivitamins with your meals for a little while until you’re back to top health.” 

  As the doctor runs through the instructions he scribbles something down on his clip board. It takes everything Hajime has to not try and peer over the edge and get a peek at the words. It’s probably not even anything interesting and yet his mind burns with curiosity. Just one peek couldn’t hurt, right? But the clipboard has been turned away and hidden before he can make any moves. 

  “You can head back now. I need to grab the next person.” 

  “What happened to the others?” The words spill out before he’s even realised he’s said them. 

  The doctor freezes for a moment, brow furrowing sternly, “The others?”

  Sliding his feet off the chair, he folds his arms and scowls at the man. A red hot poker of anger sparks through him. He’s not even sure why he’s angry but now he is it rages through him, setting every nerve alight. 

  “My friends. Mikan, Peko, and Fuyuhiko. They never came back from here.” He spits the words out, taking a single step towards the doctor. Yet the doctor doesn’t relent any ground, he stays firmly rooted completely ignoring Hajime. 

  “Ah, we had some worries about Mikan and Fuyuhiko so they’re being kept for observation for a few hours until we determine the best solution. And your friend Peko asked to stay with them for a little while.”

  “Can I see them?” He holds his head up high, refusing to back down. While he might phrase it as a question but it’s not a matter of asking. It’s politeness, nothing more. 

  There is no reason to doubt the doctor - this is the person Naegi and the others decided to trust - but his bones still ache. His stomach is ready to walk out at a moments notice. Maybe just seeing them would settle him slightly. Hopefully. 

  “Of course. The patient room is through here. You can stop in and say hello to them all before heading back.”

  With an easy casual flick of the wrist he gestures towards a door at the side of the room. It looks completely unassuming. Just a plain wood door without any kind of label. 

  As Hajime makes his way over the doctor doesn’t even give him a second look. Instead he has gone back to his clipboard, scratching more notes down on the paper. Hajime does his best to ignore the man, pulling open the door instead and stepping into the dark corridor beyond.

  Immediately the door swings closed behind him, sealing off the source of light and leaving him in almost completely darkness. The low light somehow seems to cast shadows that dance around him. Taunting him as they grow closer. Despite all the obvious differences, it still summons images of the hospital in the Neo World Program to the forefront of his mind. The itchy, eerie atmosphere bringing him back to that twisted placed.

  Without a proper light source he has to stumble through the room, hand brushing against the wall until he can feel it shifting into a wooden door. Of course he doesn’t linger there though. Instead he pushes forward, crossing his fingers that this is the right room.

  At once he is smacked by a blinding light hitting him full force. Blinding him right as he peers his head around the doorway, unsure of what he’s about to see, “Fuyuhiko? Peko? Mikan?” 

  However, instead of some sinister looking surgery room or another horror-esque place it looks surprisingly…normal. A few beds laid out in large empty room with blue curtains strung up between the beds offering meager privacy. In front of the beds are two couches, TV’s propped up above each one but they both seem to be unplugged, the wires hanging loosely out the back.

  Peko is hunched over on one of the couches, her entire face firm and sharp. She might not have her sword on her right now but he almost expects her to whip out a weapon at the drop of a hat. 

  Unlike Peko, Mikan and Fuyuhiko have both been tucked into bed, their clothes swapped out for flimsy blue hospital gowns. Mikan has sunk down into the mattress, pulling the covers tightly around her. Meanwhile, Fuyuhiko is still sat up in the bed, his arms folded tightly and his head turned away from the doorway. 

  “Did they send you in here too?” Fuyuhiko grumbles. 

  “Not exactly. I just asked if I could check on you both.”

  Shifting his weight from side to side, he awkwardly stands in the doorway. Part of him wants to walk in and take a seat on the couches but with Peko glaring at him he doesn’t dare take a step forwards. He’s starting to wonder why he even bothered coming here in the first place if this is all he's going to do.

  “T-Thank you…” Mikan mumbles, pulling the covers even tighter around her. 

  “What happened? Why did they have to keep you in here?” Given that these are the two people who were pulled aside he suspects he knows exactly why they’ve been chosen, but he asks anyway. 

  “They want us to have surgery.” Fuyuhiko snaps as if it’s a completely unwarranted suggestion. 

  “The doctor said if we don’t r-remove the b-body parts we could…we could…” With the curtain hanging between them Mikan thankfully doesn’t notice the way Fuyuhiko rolls his eyes. 

  “He thinks we’re going to get blood poisoning or whatever.”

  “Sepsis.” Mikan sinks further into her mattress as she speaks, “He’s n-not wrong…we’re l-lucky we have been o-okay so far.”

  Honestly, she has a point. Sewing body parts onto your own amputated body should have killed them a long time ago. It’s a miracle they lived this long, especially since the body parts have been relatively safe from rot so far. Even in death Junko refuses to truly leave. 

  “I’m not having a fucking surgery in this place.” Fuyuhiko crosses his arms and turns like a sulking child. His entire brow is creased - or at least the bits Hajime can see. 

  Mikan twiddles with her thumbs, staring at the curtain as if hoping she’ll somehow meet Fuyuhiko’s eyes, “But what if he’s not wrong…”

  “I don’t trust him. He gave me a weird feeling.”

  It’s not like he can disagree. No matter how much Naegi and the other trust him, he feels too…familiar for Hajime's liking. How can you trust someone like that? However when you get desperate enough anything is possible he supposes. 

  “I know what you mean but Mikan and the doctor both aren’t wrong. Is it really worth the risk of dying from this?” 

  They’ve been lucky with miracles so far but how long can they rely on that luck? They have seen first hand from Nagito how messy that can get. It’s better to put your faith in logic. 

  Fuyuhiko finally turns to glare at Hajime. His eye burning bright, almost threatening, “Would you let him operate on you like that?”

  His heart skips a beat but he keeps his expression flat and stern. If he starts giving in then Fuyuhiko will have all the ammunition to try and avoid this forever - or at least as long as Peko allows him to which judging by the vein popping on her forehead is not much longer. 

  He takes a deep breath in and relaxes his posture, “Look, just think about it. I’ll let the others know you’re in here.” He gives up on Fuyuhiko, turning to Peko instead, “Do you want me to bring you anything?”

  “No.” Her jaw twitches as she readjusts her posture. Straight backed and tense she waits. Ever the diligent bodyguard. 

  “Okay. I’ll come around and check in later then.” 

  “G-Goodbye H-Hajime-e…” Mikan doesn’t even bother attempting to smile, her eyes glistening softly. 

  He gives them all a weak wave but he can feel Peko’s eyes on him the entire time, even after he has closed the door behind him. Only once the door is closed does he dare let out a shuddering breath, goosebumps rippling up his spine.

~~~

13/05 - 23:28

  To no ones surprise, it isn’t just Fuyuhiko and Mikan who are kept behind. When Nagito heads into the room he stays gone, being scurried away by the doctor. But outside of that, none of them get any news from the others that are secluded back there. No matter how long they wait, Peko never shows her face. He doubts she will move a muscle until Fuyuhiko is cleared and sent back here.

  Outside of those three, he never did find out what the doctor had to say about each of them. They were all released back to their rooms though so it can’t have been too bad at least. Either that or the doctor just had nothing he could do to help them.

  As more and more people disappear into their rooms the communal area just grows quieter and quieter. The only people that wanted to stick around were Ibuki and Sonia. As soon as everyone has had their appointment with the doctor even he makes an excuse to leave and flees to his room. It’s not that he doesn’t want to spend time with the two of them but after everything that has happened recently the peace and quiet of his own room is starting to look more and more appealing. 

  Neither of them bother trying to make him stay, wishing him well and waving him off as they sip at their tea. As soon as he’s back in his room he throws himself onto his bed, staring up at the ceiling silently.

  Every bone in his body aches to its core. It’s not like he even did anything today - most of his day was spent sitting around waiting for things to happen. Yet he still feels like he’s run a marathon. 

  He doesn’t even bother changing his clothes, laying on top of his covers and knotting his hands into his hair. Laying there he does the only thing he can, screwing his eyes closed as he prays for sleep but still it eludes him. Anything - even the nightmares - would be better than the boredom of just laying there doing nothing but it’s like his entire body is purposefully working against him.  

  The more he lays there, the more he could swear he’s hearing chatter and muffled footsteps outside but he doesn't move an inch from his bed. He just wants to sleep. Tuning out the others as best he can. It's times like this that he wonders what it's like having normal ears and hearing.

  Yet all he can think about is Mikan, Fuyuhiko, and Nagito a few rooms away. Fuyuhiko's words earlier rattle around in his mind. Have they already come to a decision? It sounded like Mikan had when he was there but what about Nagito and Fuyuhiko?

  Grumbling to himself he gives up, jumping out of bed and heading over to the bathroom.  He’s only half aware of what he’s doing as he starts flashing water in his face. Bit by bit his hair gets wetter and wetter until it’s laying flat against his head, sticking to his scalp.

  For a few minutes he stands in front of the mirror, staring as his own reflection as droplets of water start trickling down his face. Even now with his hair short, his stomach aches at the sight of piercing red eyes glaring back at him. Sharp and bright and so very foreign. He’s not sure he even wants to know how they made them this colour…

  Grabbing a towel he buries his face in the material, practically smothering himself. His hair still sticks awkwardly to his head but at least his skin is mostly dry now. He doesn’t even bother hanging up the towel, simply chucking it onto the floor as he turns on his heel and leaves.

  He’s not sure where he’s going. He’s just leaving. Anywhere. Everywhere. It’s not like there’s that many places he can go. He settles for the communal area, creeping out silently in search of anything to distract his mind. 

  In spite of the lateness he's of course not the only one there. He should have known… Apparently Sonia and Ibuki had cleared out - their tea cups still sitting beside the sink - but there is no sign of them anywhere. Instead Byakuya is stood in front of the sink, sponge in hand as they gently wipe the cups and abandoned plates down. 

  Of course, since they haven't had their Byakuya disguise on for a while they haven't resembled the ‘affluent progeny’ for a long time but the blonde hair still remains. It’s easy to forget sometimes they aren’t actually that person anymore, even when they're dressed in the same black joggers and a white shirt. However as they stand there now, water splashing on their shirt and sleeves rolled up, Hajime is more aware than ever of that distinction between the two. 

  “Are you okay Hajime?” From the kitchen they begin to lower their hands. Allowing the cup they had been cleaning to fall back into the soapy water once again. 

  “Yeah. I’m fine.”

  “What are you doing out here? Rest is a vital part of recovery.” Byakuya's eyes pass over the clock above the doorway as if they aren’t stood here themselves.

  Hypocritical much?

  “I just couldn’t sleep. I wanted to clean up this place before I tried again.”

  He makes up an excuse on the spot but looking around it’s somewhat believable. How much longer can they really keep the room like this?

  “Clean?”

  “Yeah, the birthday decorations don’t leave the most positive memories.” He waves his hand about at the mess hanging around them.

  “Hmmm, you might be right.” They grab a nearby towel and wipe their hands down. Strolling over to Hajime's side instantly, “I’ll help you.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “I wouldn’t offer if I wasn’t.”

  “Okay then.” They don't bother trying to smile at least, instead opting for a stern nod. 

  They both crack on with work quietly. Cautiously shuffling about the room, gathering everything in their arms. He does his best to roll up the lights neatly as he gently pulls them down. There’s not much that can be done to completely prevent them knotting but he does his best. For a moment he considers keeping the decorations stored somewhere but in the end they settle on shoving it all in the nearest bin. That doesn’t stop him from sneakily shoving a few into his pocket when Byakuya's back is turned though.

  For the most part they work in silence, enjoying the mere presence of one another more than anything else. However as they both pull butterflies off of the walls Byakuya finally speaks, “Hajime, I realised yesterday that I never asked if you wanted me to call you Hajime or Izuru. I heard Nagito and Kazuichi calling you Izuru still and I realised I made a bit of an assumption about you.”

  “It’s fine.” He doesn’t even think twice before waving it off casually.

  “No it isn’t.” Byakuya snaps back without a second thought. Stopping cleaning entirely to fully turning around to address Hajime face to face, “You asked me what I would like to be called but I didn’t give you the same courtesy. What do you want to be called?” 

  Want? The word feels foreign on his tongue. Considering everything that’s going on it seems silly to think about. Do people just go around choosing their own names? 

  “I haven’t really thought about it properly.” He hums out loud, “I’ll let you know when I figure it out but for now Hajime is…nice…” It takes a few seconds for the word to come. Even after he’s said it, it doesn’t feel right but Byakuya smiles warmly so he doesn’t bother correcting himself.

  The same issues from before still stand and he doubts they are ever going to change. He doesn’t really want to be called Izuru - anything that ties him to Hopes Peak makes his skin tingle. And yet somehow being called Hajime doesn’t feel right either. Like two misfitting socks. Both wrong but in different ways. Perhaps this is just a dilemma he needs to live with for the rest of his life. 

  “I’ll look forward to it, Hajime.” Byakuya chuckles slightly, their head dipping to stare at their feet, “Look at us. Two fools without our identities.”

  “We’re a bit of a mess, aren’t we.” He finds himself laughing along too even though he probably shouldn’t be.

  “A little bit.”

Chapter Text

14/05 - 12:43

  Sighing, he leans against the window sill. His head is mere millimeters away from the glass. It takes everything he has to not press his head against the cool surface until the glass cracks and he can burst through. Keeping himself frozen to the spot. 

  Beside him is Peko, her nails chewed down to the base. He’s pretty sure she hasn’t blinked since Fuyuhiko disappeared into the surgery room opposite the patient room. Every ounce of her focus directed solely at the room beyond the glass.

  This place looks so different to the day before when he had stumbled through in the darkness. With the lights turned on all he can see is the blinding, sterile whiteness drenching everything. Light shimmering off every surface. It’s only a small thin corridor and yet it seems to go on forever. Desolate and plain. The only thing breaking it up being the large pane of glass in the middle of the room. 

  Despite Fuyuhiko's grumbling yesterday, they still ended up here in the end. He had come to the medical room to deliver breakfast to everyone only to have most of it confiscated by the doctor. Only him, Peko and Mikan had been allowed any of the food while Fuyuhiko and Nagito had been trapped watching them eat. Their stomachs slowly growing louder and louder. 

  As much as they might want to, there’s nothing more he can do for them. Not when their surgeries had been booked in for today, although even that had no forewarning leading up to it. While he understands the need to be prompt, it does feel like it came out of nowhere. 

  “He'll be okay.” He offers Peko the meager support that he can. In spite of how pointless it all feels, it only feels worse to not say anything at all when it’s just the two of them out here. 

  “Yes. This will be better for him.”

  The further away they all are from anything Junko related the better. There’s nothing they can do for his sight but at least he won’t be putting himself at risk if they cut out the eye now. Removing it for good. At this point he must be used to only having sight in one eye though. It’s as if fate has it out for that eye specifically.

  With the window here he can see the entire procedure as a gaggle of doctors all gather around the operating table. Standing here on the other side of the after all this time sends goosebumps rippling up his arms and a shiver down his spine. Was this what he would have looked like back then? Pale and washed out but the bright lights and fluorescent clothes. His memories don’t begin until after that moment so it’s impossible for him to ever know for sure.

  Part of him wants to leave and walk as far away as he can where he won’t be able to see the procedure but the other half keeps him standing there. While he could leave, there’s no way Peko would join. He’s not even sure she's physically capable of moving, every limb locked tightly as she stands there. She would probably be happy to dismiss his company but that doesn’t change the fierce thundering of her heart or the weak way her breath rattles. No matter what she says she needs someone with her. She isn’t as indestructible as she likes to believe.

  He can feel every second passing as they stand there. Ticking, ticking, ticking. His arms slowly turn numb from the weight of him leaning on them but still he doesn’t move. The imprint of the window sill left on his skin. Red marks marring his skin. 

  The entire time Peko remains as still as a statue. Only when the doctors start backing away an hour later does she finally move. At first he almost thinks he's imagining it but sure enough she’s blinking and backing away from the window. 

  “Did it go okay?” Her voice is higher than normal and she grips onto the window sill even harder. Knuckles turning whiter and whiter. 

  “It looks like it.”

  “So he'll be okay?” She whips her head around to Hajime, her eyes wide. Wild. A feral look haunting them. Standing out harshly against the sterility of the rest of the world. 

  Looking at Fuyuhiko from all the way out here it all seems fine. Sure, with this angle it’s hard to get a good look at the eye itself but the relaxed postures of the doctors tells more than enough. Surely if something was wrong there would be panic running rampant through the room, right? 

  “I’m sure he will be fine.”

  However Peko doesn’t say anything else. As they both watch intently, waiting for Fuyuhiko to be wheeled out, they remain entirely silent. From the corner of his eyes it’s clear that Peko isn’t breathing or even blinking. The glass must be one way otherwise there is no way the doctors would be able to avoid the pressure oozing off of her as she glares straight at them all. 

  It’s only when the door finally opens and the noise of the doctors and the bed clattering that she finally sucks in a breath. However, instead of rushing towards him, they both linger back. Giving them all space as they begin to lead him back into the patient room to join the others. 

  Only once they have made their entrance do Hajime and Peko follow behind. Arriving just in time to see them gently lift him back onto the bed - bandages wrapped tightly around his head tightly. Tugging the curtain around to shield the bed from Mikan and Nagito just like that.

  But this time, once the doctors have fled, Peko hovers right by him instead of retreating to the couch. Hunching over his unconscious form as Hajime lingers back, trying to give them as much space as he can given the tight quarters of the patient room.

  “H-How did it go?” Mikan mumbles as soon as the doctors disappear. Her hands knotted together as she sits up in bed. Craning her neck to try and get an idea of what happened while the three of them were gone from the room. 

  The curtain is still carefully pulled around Fuyuhiko's bed, hiding Peko and Fuyuhiko from view, but the curtain between Nagito and Mikan's beds has been pulled back. Both of them are neatly sat up, covers pooling around them and pillows propped up behind their backs to support them.

  “He’s still asleep right now but, yeah; he’s going to be fine.” He says with complete certainty. It’s not like he’s even seen how they did it but he’s not going to admit that. If Fuyuhiko is looking generally okay then it can’t have been too bad.

  “That’s good.” Nagito smiles but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. Something else bubbling just beneath the surface. 

  It’s only now that he looks around the empty room curiously, “Has anyone been around yet?”

  Based on how Ibuki had basically been surgically attached to Mikan for the last few days he would have thought she would be sat here if nothing else. Sonia too. And yet there’s no one here except him and Peko and no one has any misgivings about who she’s here for.

  “No, it’s just been us.” Nagito shrugs casually. Barely even giving it a second thought. 

  It sounds…lonely, and yet Nagito and Mikan are both happily smiling. At least they had each other he supposes. It’s not much but it’s better than nothing. 

  Wanting to give Peko and Fuyuhiko some space he shuffles further into the room, dropping onto the couch in front of Nagito and Mikan's beds. At once they both shuffle in slightly so they can fully face him, still sitting cross legged against the back of the beds. 

  “Have you tried using the TV’s yet?” He cranes his neck upright, examining the perfect looking screens hovering just above. 

  He’s not sure why he finds them so strange to look at, he’s seen plenty of TV’s in his time. But somehow seeing it here in a room like this feels…out of place. It’s just a patient room, it’s not like it needs amenities and yet this place looks about as nice as the rest of the building. 

  “Y-Yes…Fuyuhiko did try them last night but it was j-just static…” Mikan answers somberly. Wriggling where she sits as she continues wringing her hands. 

  He doubts anything that would be playing would be worth watching anyway. Probably just depressing new channels reporting on the chaos of the world. Even without Junko around stirring the pot things haven’t exactly been going well. 

  “They should have brought some books in here for you then.” 

  If they’re going to keep them in here for god knows how long then what’s the harm in bringing a little entertainment. In fact…maybe he should go and fetch some bits. In spite of everything he doesn’t actually know what kinds of book any of them like though. He could make some educated guesses but still…there isn’t much point in knowing that Nagito likes to read if he has no idea what genre he is even interested in. 

  Luckily, he never ends up getting that far though. Nagito wastes no time shaking his head and gesturing over to Mikan, “It’s okay. Mikan has just been telling me about all the types of medicine she likes.”

  At once Mikan flushes, every inch of her skin glowing. Or at least every part that he can see. Her pupils widen dramatically, her eyes practically watering. Pleading with her eyes for dear life. 

  “N-no! I-It was s-so silly.” Her arms wave about manically, tears touching the edges of her eyes. You’d think she was being tortured instead of just conversing casually. 

  “It sounds interesting to me.” He shrugs casually, “Why don’t you tell me too?”

  At those words her hands stop moving and she narrows her eyes. She does her best to try and read him, anxiously leaning forwards. Trying to figure out of this is some kind of trick or something no doubt, “B-But…”

  Much to his relief Nagito is ready to jump in and support without missing a beat, “He’s asking to know, you know.” 

  With that, there’s nothing left for Mikan to argue against. Who is she to turn down their requests after all? While she doesn’t exactly look…enthused, her tears dissipate ever so slightly as she nods ever so slightly. 

  “I…I see…”

  With that they both settle down, happy to listen to Mikan ramble for as long as she can. He’s not even aware of time passing as he listens. For once he allows himself to sit in the moment. He couldn’t care less about medicine - if anything he dislikes the thought of them - but hearing Mikan chattering is oddly calming. It’s a far cry from the girl that had sat on the roof top with him the other day and right now that’s all that matters. Even Peko says nothing from across the room. If she’s willing to talk then they’re willing to listen and that’s all that matters. 

  However the peaceful moment is never allowed to last. Why would it be? After a few hours of leaving them be, the door swings open without any warning. One of the doctors Hajime recognises from the operating room earlier steps in, walking past Peko and Fuyuhiko to examine everyone else with a cool expression. As they enter they wheel in a neat looking wheelchair. The black frame glimmers ominously in the bright lights of the room. 

  “Nagito Komaeda, it’s time for your surgery.” 

  While Hajime isn’t sure why they’d need a wheelchair of all things, he isn’t going to question it. Fuyuhiko had just been walked out, somehow seeing the wheelchair here just makes his mind spin more. That uncomfortable knot settling in his stomach once more. 

  “I see.” Nagito swallows deeply. His hands curl into fists, slipping nonchalantly under the covers as subtly as he can manage to. 

  However, even as the doctor draws closer, ready to help transfer him into the wheelchair, he doesn’t make any moves. The entire time Nagito just sits there as still as he physically can. Not even helping to pull back the covers. 

  “I’ll accompany him.” The offer slips out before he’s even considered what he’s saying. Who else would be accompanying Nagito though? Even just the thought of him going there completely alone makes his stomach churn. Its not like he'll even be aware, he’s going to be unconscious the entire time, and yet…

  “Okay then.” 

  He follows closely behind the doctors as they begin wheeling Nagito out. Just like Peko had done earlier, he hovers as near to Nagito as he can, his hand in reach of the other boy just in case. As they begin to leave Nagito looks back at Mikan one last time, trying to offer her a feeble smile over his shoulder. And then she disappears from view as they step out into the hallway. 

  It must only be just barely over a meter between the patient room and the surgery room but somehow it suddenly feels like it’s never ending. Every step is a mountain to climb. The more they move, the faster Nagito’s breathing becomes. Even though he’s doing his best to keep his breathing as quiet as possible he can hear the awkward way his breaths catch in his throat each time. The thin raspy noise grating against his ears. Yet the doctors keep moving forwards, pushing him closer and closer to the sealed off room. 

  Before his brain has caught up with his body he is holding his arm out in front of the wheelchair, grinding them all to a stop right before they begin to enter the door. Gritting his teeth as he stands his ground.

  “What do you -?” The doctors starts complaining incredulously but he completely ignores them. 

  He slowly steps into Nagito’s field of view and he crouches down so he’s eye level with the other boy, “Nagito. Nagito! Look at me.” He keeps his voice calm but speaks as sharply as he can. Thankfully after a few seconds Nagito lifts his head enough to meet Hajime’s gaze, “You’re having a panic attack. I’m going to help you, okay? Can you tell me three things you can see around you?”

  It takes a few seconds but eventually he manages to stutter out words between wheezing breaths, “I-I can see…you…the…the wheelchair…and the d-doctors…”

  “Good. Now tell me three things you can hear.” 

  Nagito’s eyes screw closed for a moment, his entire face crumpling. You can practically see the cogs turning inside his head as he tries to absorb the world around him. Thinking slowly. 

  “A clock…ticking….the wheelchair….your…your breathing…” 

  “Perfect. You can hear my breathing, right?” He waits patiently until Nagito gives him a wobbly nod, “Then try to copy my breathing.”

  They both sit there, locked together and carefully breathing. Nagito’s eyes study him constantly but he only allows himself to focus on breathing steadily. In the background he can see the doctor watching them but he does his best to ignore her too. The last thing they need is to start thinking about her right now. At least she’s giving them space and not trying to get involved. 

  It takes a few minutes but eventually Nagito’s breaths start to steady. He’s still wobbling in the chair and taking shallow breaths but at least they’re relatively stable now. It’s not much but he’s going to take whatever he can get. 

  Keeping his voice as calm and steady as humanly possible he explains slowly, “The doctors needs to help take off that arm to keep you healthy. Fuyuhiko went in and came out fine. I’ll be just on the other side of this glass the entire time.” He points at the glass he’d been looking through just hours earlier with Fuyuhiko. 

  “But -”

  He immediately holds his hand up. “No buts. You believe in me, right.” He commands sternly, leaving no wiggle room at all. Nothing he can worm his way out of.

  “Of course.”

  “If I’m saying its going to be okay then you know it’s true.” His eyes plead with Nagito, praying that part of Nagito that had idolised him and ultimates isn’t completely gone. Is it bad to try and manipulate his friend? Maybe. But right now he couldn’t care less. Anything will work to settle Nagito, “I’ll be right here when you wake up and I will step in and stop them if they do anything wrong.”

  “Okay.”

  He rests his hand on the arm rest, ready to push off and get back onto his feet. But before he can remove it, Nagito’s cold trembling hand reaches over, settling on top of his hand. Instead of saying anything he turns his hand over, letting it capture Nagito’s. Their fingers knit together perfectly. Somehow Nagito’s hand is both icy cold and slick with sweat but he doesn’t dare let go. 

  The doctor says nothing as they walk together into the surgery room and he’s never been more thankful. The entire time Nagito clasps onto his hand with all the strength he can muster. It strangely soothing to be holding Nagito’s hands for once. His mind keeps bracing, ready to feel Junko’s sharp nails digging into him like every other time but it never comes. 

  It’s only as the other doctors begin to appear, ready to lift Nagito onto the surgery table, that he lets go of Nagito’s hand. Pulling it free as tenderly as he can. For a few seconds Nagito still desperately tries to cling to him but then logic kicks in and he willingly lets his hand drop. However the doctor doesn’t even wait to let them part ways before she’s waving him out. Continuing to guide Nagito up onto the table without so much as a second look towards Hajime.

  It’s only then as he watches the other doctors begin to crowd around as they continue to guide him away, that his mind seems to notice where he is. The scent of the room hitting him like a truck. The sanitised stench of chemicals pressing in on him from all sides.

  While he doesn’t remember leaving the room, the next thing he knows he’s stood by the window, hands shaking. Watching from a distance as the needles begin to come out. Nagito’s still, small form laying perfectly motionless on the table as the doctors prepare the equipment they need. From out here he can no longer hear them but even so the sounds still somehow seem to reverberate through his skull. 

  As Nagito lays there, his head tilts towards the window. Eyes searching anxiously but always drifting straight past Hajime. His heart drops into his stomach for a moment as he remembers the one way glass. Nevertheless he still stands directly in front of the window the entire time that they are putting Nagito under. His head lolling as the light behind his eyes disappears and the doctors are crowding around and shielding him from view for good. 

  Only once then does Hajime feel his legs buckle under him. He hadn’t noticed his uneven breathing before but now the lightheadedness hits him all at once. Unlike before with Fuyuhiko, this time he can’t even support his weight by the window. Instead his legs trip over themselves as he stumbles back until his back hits the wall behind him. With his legs too weak to support his weight, he just has to let himself slide down the wall until he’s on the floor. The stiff, hard surface jolting through him, bringing a dull ache with it. 

  From this angle he can barely see into the room anymore but he can still make out the tops of the doctors heads as they glide about the room. Lost in their work. He tries not to let his mind wander to the doctors at all, keeping all his focus on Nagito. Settling down he prepares himself for the long haul. 

  At first he’s all alone, his eyes never once leaving the glass even though there is nothing to see. Flashes of Nagito and Fuyuhiko laying on the table refuse to leave him be but that does nothing to shake his resolve. However, after about twenty minutes pass the door to the corridor swings open and a small group of people shuffle through.

  Ibuki is at the front, marching along with her long hair swishing from side to side. A splash of colour throughout the plain white corridor. Right behind her is Sonia and Kazuichi, their heads tilted together as they mutter something that he can’t make out. However, as soon as they catch sight of him they light up before his very eyes. Ibuki notices first, grinding to a halt so fast that Sonia and Kazuichi go slamming into her back, almost sending all three of them scattering to the floor. 

  Any annoyance is quickly forgotten though as they bound towards him, Sonia grinning ear to ear, “Hajime! You are here. We were looking for you.” 

  At that he has to swallow the lump in his throat. Forcing the best smile he can manage. “Oh, sorry. I was just keeping the others company.” He nods his head forwards towards the glass. Gradually making himself get up until he is standing eye level. The sight of the surgery room filling his peripheral vision. 

  Ibuki frowns, leaning forwards and peering through the glass. But as soon as she does she turns sheet white, twisting her head away as fast as she can, “Ah! Is that Nagito?!”

  “Yeah, he’s in surgery right now.”

  “Ibuki can’t imagine having people poking around in her like that.” She rubs her hands up and down her arms, forcing a dramatic shiver, “Ughhhh, goosebumps.”

  “They didn’t have much choice.” He mutters under his breath, tilting his head down to try and hide his lips from the others. The memory of Nagito trying to cling to his hand still filling his mind making his throat close tighter and tighter as if trying to choke him. 

  Sonia gently nudges Ibuki and clears her throat. Standing up straighter than ever, “We will leave you in peace then. We were just coming to check on everyone.”

  “Mikan, Peko, and Fuyuhiko are just in there. I’m sure they would appreciate the company.” He plasters the best smile he can onto his face as he says that. 

  Mikan might enjoy it, but he doesn’t want to know what Fuyuhiko and Peko will say if everyone comes traipsing in. That is if Fuyuhiko is even awake… While he doubts they’ll kick them out, he can already see the rolling eyes and grumpy expressions from all the way out here.

  “Thanks, Hajimeeee! Time to bring some cheer and music!” Ibuki throws her arms up enthusiastically. Clearly no one ever told her this is far too much energy for a hospital. 

  He winces but waves them goodbye anyway. As long as it doesn’t interrupt the surgery it should be okay…right?

  However, even as Ibuki and Sonia march off towards the patient room, Kazuichi remains where he us. Hovering near Hajime even though he hasn’t looked his way a single time. The only hint that he even realises Hajime is there is the twitch his legs gives off every time Hajime’s eyes pass over him. 

  For a few minutes they stay that way; Kazuichi stood to the side, staring down at the ground, and Hajime waiting patiently. Eventually he simply gives up, sliding back down onto the floor once more as his legs begin to buckle under him once more. The rush of blood thundering in his head even as he sits down. 

  Time seems to have become entirely incomprehensible, it could be seconds or it could be minutes that they’re stood like that. Only when Kazuichi finally begins to shimmy over towards him - plopping himself down on the floor beside Hajime - that time finally starts to tick once more. Their breaths hovering in the enclosed space that is the hallway. 

  Was it always this cramped and tiny? 

  “They’re taking off the arm right?” Kazuichi mumbles, looking over at Hajime cautiously. Biting down hard on his lip until a tiny bead of pink begins to hover there once more. 

  “Yeah. It’s too dangerous to keep on any longer.” 

  Whistling, Kazuichi leans back, doing his best to avoid looking at the window ahead of them. It seems he has chosen Hajime to be his distraction from the surgery, “Sounds about right… It’s crazy to think that it’s been on that long.” 

  “Yeah. It’s a miracle all three of them have been okay so far.”

  “I’m really glad I never ended up chopping off any of my body now.”

  “What, you don’t want to be a peg legged pirate or something?” He chuffs and rolls his eyes. For a moment he could almost imagine the ghost of a smile reaching his lips but it never comes. 

  “No… Ugh, can you imagine?” 

  He doesn’t think he wants to imagine. Any one of them could have been crazy enough to start doing this sort of stuff. In a way they should be glad it was just Mikan, Fuyuhiko, and Nagito that actually committed. He doesn’t want to think about what other parts they could have scavenged from the body if they really tried. 

  “What are they going to do? Their bodies are going to be wrecked…” Hajime sighs, dropping his head between his legs and massaging his temples slowly. 

  He’d thought sitting here like this would make the feeling face but as he lowers his head the pulsating in his skull only gets stronger. His skull itching painfully but of course there is nothing he can do to ease the sensation. Nothing is ever going to chase those images or thoughts out of his mind now. Another thing they can go and blame on Junko. 

  “I was actually thinking about that…” Kazuichi mumbles, keeping his voice as quiet as possible as if he thinks Sonia or the others are going to try and eavesdrop in. 

  Frowning, Hajime can’t help but sit up slightly. Trying to read Kazuichi’s expression, “You were?”

  “I was thinking I should make Nagito a prosthetic or something. I can’t really do anything to help Mikan or Fuyuhiko, but Nagito…Nagito I can help.” The last words are spoken with a stern confidence which seem strange rolling off of Kazuichi. If there was anything he could do though it would be this. 

  “I think that’s a good idea. Let me know if you need any help with any of it.”

  “Thanks…I will do.”

  Even though they can hear Ibuki and Sonia’s muffled chattering from out here, Kazuichi never moves an inch. The entire time that Nagito is in surgery he stays plastered to Hajime’s side. He knows he should send Kazuichi away, he shouldn’t have to stay here keeping Hajime company, but he never says a word. And if that makes him selfish then he doesn’t care. At least not right now anyway. 

Chapter Text

15/05 - 08:25

  He slowly drifts into consciousness, his neck aching from the awkward way he’s laying. Yawning deeply, he stretches out. Arms clicking loudly as he does so. It’s like his entire body has been pulled through the ringer, every joint and muscle burning and tense. 

  It’s only when he opens his eyes that he remembers where he even is - everything hitting him all at once like a tonne of bricks. Instead of being wrapped up in his own bed he’s propped up in one of the dining chairs. He hasn’t even changed out of his clothes from yesterday. He can already tell he's starting to smell but he's beyond caring right now.

  In front of him lays Nagito, his hair rumpled and his skin tinged slightly grey. His eyes are still closed but Hajime can see his eyes flitting about underneath his eyelids. With the covers tucked up around him, the stump and bandages are completely hidden. If he didn’t know better he would never know there was anything wrong with him at all. 

  He doesn’t remember when he fell asleep last night but the entire room is still and silent now. There’s no sign of Sonia, Kazuichi, or Ibuki. Leaning back he peers past the curtain only to see an empty bed where Fuyuhiko and Peko had once been. It seems they really did flee without a word. Part of him feels like he should be frustrated but instead he just yawns at the sight. 

  They had never bothered pulling back the curtain between Mikan and Nagito’s bed so he has a clear view of the woman from where he sits. She’s curled up on her side, twitching in her sleep. The covers must have been pulled up around her at some point but now they’re bunched together in a pile on the floor beside her. 

  Last night, after returning with Nagito from the surgery room, he had found Sonia and Ibuki sat on Mikan’s bed. The three of them chatting together and eating a selection of snack that he hadn’t even noticed them bringing in earlier. Fuyuhiko had finally been awake but his curtain was still tightly drawn. His ever present guard standing watch at the foot of the bed. 

  And yet now they’re no where to be seen. 

  Rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand he gets up out of the chair and stretches out properly. Why didn’t he just sleep on the damn couch? Why did he have to sleep in the chair of all things? And yet, although his entire body is screaming, his mind feels oddly still. There’s no lingering panic. No tiredness clinging to him. He feels….rested. 

  Frowning he peers over at the clock, trying to gauge some sense of whats going on. Much to his surprise it’s not the middle of the night. 08:30 am. How the hell had he slept in this late?!

  His first instinct is to jump forward as if he need to rush of somewhere but he stops himself. What’s the point? It’s not like he does need to do anything. He could just sit here for the rest of time and it would be about as useful as anything else he could be doing. 

  Instead, he slinks back to his chair and leans back. Grabbing the book he had been reading from the bed side table next to Nagito. It’s not anything revolutionary, a murder mystery book of all things, but at least it passes the time as he waits around for something to happen. 

  Sighing to himself, he props his legs up near the foot of Nagito’s bed. Doing his best to make sure he stays well clear of Nagito, giving him all the space he needs. The last thing he needs is to start kicking the recovering boy. 

  Hours pass as he sits there, slowly leafing through his book. His reading is accompanied by the gentle ticking of the clock overhead. An orchestra playing alongside him. The only other sound is the soft rustling of Mikan and Nagito as the twist and turn in their beds. 

  Only when his stomach starts grumbling does he even consider getting up and leaving the room. Part of him doesn’t want to leave just in case they come in for Mikan while he’s gone but he knows that’s illogical. He needs food and Nagito will undoubtedly need some when he wakes up too. Leaving now when they’re still asleep and won’t even notice he’s left is best.

  Stretching out and book marking his page he begins the short trek over to the communal area. As he leaves the patient room he closes the door as quietly as possible, letting it gently click closed. 

  However as he steps out into the corridor he starts seeing more and more activity. There aren’t many doctors all things considered but compared to the stillness of the other room it might as well be a whole damned party out here. They’re all bustling about the place, entering and leaving the surgery room as they prep equipment. Not one of them even glance his way, all solely focused on their job as they glide about with ease. 

  He does his best to stay out of their way, trying to avoid probing curiously. This isn’t the time for him to be getting sucked into investigating. They’re just setting up to get ready for Mikan…

  And yet and as he makes his way over to the communal area, he digs his nails into the heel of his hand. A constant reminder of what he is supposed to be doing. Dull pain sending a fresh spike of adrenaline running right through him. Not wanting to waste any time he begins grabbing a few snacks at random. Mostly bits of fruit and other easy things to carry. 

  However before he can finish and leave the room a soft coughing catches his attention, “Did ya sleep well Haji?!”

  Ibuki is leaning against the door frame, her hair neatly pulled back into two pigtails. She’s grinning ear to ear, mischief sparkling in her eyes. Her clothes are slightly rumpled and creased but she manages to pull it off better than she should. 

  “Haji?” He arches an eyebrow and folds his arms. The nickname doesn’t even sound good. Can’t she come up with anything better than that?

  “Yeppers! You looked so tired that we didn’t want to wake you!”

  “Thanks. I slept very well surprisingly.” He clears his throat awkwardly, “Did you see where Fuyuhiko and Peko went?”

  “Ughhhh yeah…” She rolls her eyes dramatically and walks over to his side, leaning over to examine his chosen food, “The doctor came in while you were asleep. We thought they were coming for Mikan but noooooo. They just told Fuyuhiko that he could crash out in his room.”

  “Hmmm, makes sense. It’s not like it’s far to go anyway in case something did come up.” It’s not like a real hospital where help could be miles away when it’s needed. Regardless of whether they’re in their rooms or in the patient room they’re still barely a minute away from the doctors at any time. Why not let Fuyuhiko recover in peace away from the loud chattering of people in the patient room? Maybe this way Peko will actually be able to get some rest. 

  “But it makes Ibuki so mad! They sent Fuyuhiko and Peko back but still Mikan is waiting still!” Ibuki growls.

  As she does so she grabs a banana Hajime had put in the pile and crushes it in her fist just like that. She doesn’t even blink or give it a second look. For a moment he wonders if she’s even aware of what she’s doing. 

  “Well it looked like they were preparing the surgery room as I came over here.”

  Her grip on the banana falters for a moment as she drops the skin back onto the counter, “I see…” 

  Without looking back she shoves her hands in her pockets and begins leaving the communal area just like that. Abandoning Hajime with all the food. She might as well be marching due to the ferocity with which she moves. 

  “If you’re heading over then why don’t you help me carry this stuff.” He calls after her desperately, waving his hands over the stack he has laying on the counter. The crushed banana skin now sitting atop it all. 

  Thankfully she grinds to a halt and turns back around grinning. At least she doesn’t need to be asked twice before she’s skipping over to Hajime's side, “Okie dokie!” 

  Together they organise the snacks between the two of them, carefully stacking everything up. Is this too much? Maybe. But Nagito hasn’t eaten in a day - maybe more now - so the more the better. Besides, who knows how long they’re going to keep him in there. Perhaps it will be like Fuyuhiko and he’ll be sent home before the day is over but if that was the case then why wouldn’t he have been sent back with Fuyuhiko earlier. Better to be safe than sorry. 

  As they walk along he cautiously turns to Ibuki, “Did you see Nagito wake up while I was asleep?” 

  Considering how long its been since he was put to sleep it’s somewhat worrying that he’s not woken up yet. Fuyuhiko had woken up at some point during Nagito’s surgery and yet Nagito is still sound asleep. 

  Much to his relief Ibuki replies, “Yep! Nagito was awake for a bit but he didn’t really talk much. Ibuki and Sonia tried to get him to talk but he was being uber boringgggg.”

  “Hmmmm…” 

  At least he knows it’s just normal sleeping now then. It does make him wonder what time Mikan and Nagito ended up going to sleep though. How long were they sat there watching him sleeping in his chair? He’s starting to wish they had woken him up after all. Warmth beginning to build on his cheeks.

  “Are you worried about him?” Ibuki cocks her head to one side as she readjusts the snacks in her arms. 

  He casually shrugs, “A bit I guess. He’s Nagito though, he’ll be fine.”

  At this point its hard not to worry about everyone. After everything it is just a natural response. But this is Nagito they’re talking about, ultimate luck is a powerful thing. Things are always going to end up okay for him. At least he hopes so. 

  “That’s true. He gives me the shivers sometimes though.” 

  He almost chuckles at that, “You wouldn’t be the first.” 

  He half wonders what Nagito would say about that. For a normal person he would assume they have to already know but with Nagito nothing is ever clear. 

  As they get closer and closer they both duck their heads low. However, just like before, the doctors drift past them as if they don’t even see the pair. In a way he’s almost impressed by their focus. Thankfully it means they don’t say anything as he walks past with food this time. The silver lining in all of this. 

  Only when they’re back in the patient room with the door firmly closed behind them does Ibuki rush forward, chucking all the food on the couch as she runs past. Without even waiting for Hajime to catch up, she launches herself onto Mikan’s bed, shaking the girl awake. 

  “Mikannnn! We brought you snacks!” 

  Running as fast as he can he abandons his stuff on the couch with Ibuki’s, biting on the inside of his cheek. As Mikan starts sitting up he rushes over to Ibuki and grabs her sleeve, “Ibuki, she can’t eat.” 

  Eyes wide Ibuki turns to face him. Her incredulous look cuts into him.

  “Whaaaaat? Why not?”

  “I-I have s-surgery…I can’t eat before the surgery…” Mikan steps in to explain. Even as she does so she rubs her eyes with both hands, yawning the entire time. 

  To his knowledge a good six hours of fasting is needed before going in to surgery so it’s not worth the risk of eating now. Not when it seems like they could come in to collect her at any second. All that would do is delay her possibly life saving surgery by another six hours.

  Although she does her best to smile, he doesn’t miss the longing gaze she throws towards the food. Her stomach already grumbling loudly.

  Ibuki rests a hand on her arm, doing her best to comfort the woman, “Oh, well I will save them for after the surgery then! You can’t miss out on the yumminess.”

  “Thanks…”

  Despite how both his and Ibuki’s stomachs growl, neither of them dare to make any moves towards the food. Knowing Mikan she wouldn’t mind that they were eating, but it feels needlessly cruel anyway. He resolves to just eat when Mikan is taken away. It’s not like he can’t hold on for a bit longer. 

  Instead they stay occupied by using Hajime like their own personal audio book. He had tried to just settle down and do some quiet reading but he should have known that wouldn’t be an option with Ibuki around. There had been no choice when she demanded he go back to the beginning to read out the book to them both. 

  Normally reading the same thing over again is far too boring but with the additional commentary from Mikan and Ibuki it’s surprisingly refreshing. He has to hold himself back from correcting all their incorrect assumptions about the mystery though. He probably shouldn’t be surprised about their bewilderment though since he’s seen how they were in the Neo World Program. Nothing compares when you’ve actually had first hand experience.

  Unfortunately they never end up getting far enough into the book to reach the interesting parts. They’re barely five chapters in before the door is swinging open and the familiar doctor strolls in. Once again she has a wheel chair with her, her lips pressed tightly together. 

  “Mikan Tsumiki. Are you ready?”

  Just those words alone are enough to send Mikan into a state. Her shivers are violent enough that even the bed underneath her is rocking back and forth. Poor Ibuki is forced to reach out to stabilise her. 

  “Y-Yes…” Her teeth chatter, small tears bundling up in the corners of her eyes. 

  As the doctor approaches, she pulls the wheelchair up to the side of the bed. The entire time she doesn’t even give Ibuki a second look. Instead she’s focused on Hajime. Practically looking down her nose at him. 

  “Will you be accompanying her too?” She nods over at Nagito. 

  He hadn’t even considered it until this exact moment. The mere thought of that sends a shiver of shame down him. How could he not have even considered it?

  However before he gets a chance to agree Ibuki has darted in. She doesn’t allow any room for doubt as she speaks. Only absolute determination, “I’m gonna be with Mikan.”

  “Are you s-sure?” 

  “Of course! I’m your friend after all!” Her hands rest either side of her hips, striking a power pose. She holds her head high and closes her eyes. Confidence radiating off of every inch of her.

  “T-Thanks…” Even though Mikan’s smiling, tears fill her eyes. For once it he completely understands though. 

  Seeing them together like this sends a warmth shooting through him. But even in spite of that, seeing this room so empty feels…wrong. After the birthday party they had held it’s strange to have no one here for their friends. As nice as it is having Ibuki here, it will never fully make up the the rest of the lingering emptiness.

  At least no one had to force her to be here. She just wants to be supporting her friend. After everything Mikan deserves that if nothing else.

  “I’ll keep an eye on Nagito while you’re gone. Come and grab me if you need anything though.” He gives them both a thumbs up. 

  As much as Ibuki would enjoy the company, someone should probably be here for Nagito. After how he reacted going into the surgery it would feel wrong not to, especially since he wasn’t even awake when Nagito did wake up. It’s time he made it up to the other boy. 

  “Okie dokie.”

  The doctor coughs, looking between each of them as if she’s just waiting for them to shut up. She wriggles the wheelchair even closer, trying to jostle Mikan along.

  “Come on then. Would you like hel-?”

  Mikan doesn’t even let her finish her sentence though, “No.” She snaps without a second thought before suddenly flushing pink, “N-No, I’ll be o-okay…”

  Despite her resolve to handle it alone, Ibuki ends up taking her hand. She supports Mikan as the woman shifts from the bed into the wheelchair. The second she makes contact with the frame she tenses but her breathing remains relatively stable. At least when compared to Nagito. 

  Seeing Ibuki stuck to Mikan’s side as the doctor begins wheeling her out fills him with a sense of déjà vu. All he can see is himself and Nagito sat there again. But then they are wheeled away and the door closes behind them, leaving just him and Nagito behind. 

~~~

15/05 - 12:23

  “Izuru…?” The muffled words snap him to attention.

  Over an hour had passed since Mikan and Ibuki left but still the room was empty and quiet. Given how long the surgeries of Nagito and Fuyuhiko had taken he keeps expecting the door to open and for Mikan to come rolling in but still there’s no one. It’s been so quiet that even the sound of Nagito speaking is able to catch him off guard. 

  “Ah! You’re awake.”

  “How long was I asleep for?” Nagito asks blearily. 

  He’s still yawning, pulling the covers tighter around himself. His eyes are barely even open, only just cracked open to let the bare minimum amount of light in. With his hair flopping over his face and his constant yawning he looks surprisingly innocent. Not a word he thought he would ever be pairing with Nagito. 

  “Umm…I’m not too sure. I didn’t see when you fell asleep but it’s midday now.” He points up at the clock as if Nagito is going to assume he’s lying or something. 

 Thankfully that’s enough to make Nagito widen his eyes though. Perhaps he wasn’t up as late as Hajime had been expecting then, “I guess I was just very tired.” He frowns, his jaw tense and stiff. 

  “Probably. Your body has been through a lot in a short period of time.” They say that your body heals when you’re sleeping so if anyone would need copious amounts of sleep it would be Nagito. What’s the harm in a little more rest when you’re fixing an entire arm? 

  Slowly Nagito sits up, keeping the cover pulled up over him as much as possible. His arm still hidden away for now. Every breath laboured and slow but his shoulders are loose and relaxed which he’s going to take as a win. They need every win they can get now. 

  Now he’s sat up he begins to look around the room, studying all the empty beds that now surround them, “Where are the others?” 

  “Fuyuhiko and Peko went back to their rooms, and Mikan and Ibuki left for surgery.” 

  For a second Nagito tenses but he relaxes again so quickly that he could almost pretend he was imagining it. A smile falls back onto his lips like nothing had ever happened, “Hopefully it all goes well.”

  “Of course it will.” He nods decisively before quietly giving Nagito a once over.

  Nagiti looks fine. No, more than fine, he looks better. But without being inside the other boys head it’s hard to be sure, “How do you feel?”

  “I feel fine. It’s nice to have the arm gone.” 

  For the shortest moment his eyes dart over towards where the missing arm would be. Only the hint of bandages are visible peeking over the edge of the covers. 

  He can only imagine how much better it feels to not have rotting flesh clinging onto him. He has no idea how they three of them were able to do it for so long. He can barely stand even touching the stuff, let alone having it grafted onto him. 

  “You can say that again.”

  Nagito pauses, rolling his shoulder experimentally. The movement causes the covers to fall ever so slightly revealing a few more of the bandages. When you can’t see the stumps it’s easy to pretend he’s just covering stitches and not an entire missing limb but they both know better than that. 

  “After all this time it feels strange to not have it though.”

  Cautiously he leans forward, making sure every movement is slow and clearly advertised, “Can I see the arm?” He asks as tentatively as he can. Given the way Nagito is hiding away the arm he probably shouldn’t have even asked but if he doesn’t ask then he’ll never know what Nagito would have said. 

  After a few seconds silence Nagito chokes out a single word, “Sure.”

  Moving slowly and deliberately, he carefully lifts his arm out from under the covers. They fall away with ease and only the bandaged arm is left. Up until his elbow everything is completely fine. However a few centimeters away from the elbow the bandages stop as the arm suddenly disappears. In a way he supposes they should be glad it was just the forearm that’s missing. It’s lucky this much of the arm is still perfectly functional. 

  Nagito slowly rotates his arm, bringing it closer and closer to Hajime. It’s not like he can take off the bandages to examine the doctors handiwork but at least the bandages seem to be holding up well. There’s no hint of blood marking the fabric at all. Just pure pristine whiteness all over. 

  “Does it look okay?”

  He clears his throat and leans back, giving the arm some space, “Yes. They did a good job.”

  “That’s a relief.” Nagito smiles, scrunching his eyes closed and sticking his arm back under the covers without a second thought. Shivering as he does so.

  Jumping up from his chair he shuffles over to the couch and gestures to the pile of food he and Ibuki had brought over. He had eaten a few bit while he was waiting but there is still a full banquet of things to choose from left, “I brought some food. It’s been ages since you had anything so take your pick.” 

  “Thank you.”

  They sit in silence, slowly working through the food. For the first few minutes Nagito keeps moving his stump forward, ready to pick up food with his missing hand, but bit by bit he does it less and less. Every time he does so his smile wavers ever so slightly. 

  He chooses not to say a thing as Nagito turns his head, trying to cover up the tears that are slowly creeping down his cheek. Silence swelling around them.

Chapter Text

16/05 - 04:08

  Grumbling to himself, he readjusts the box he’s carrying, shifting the weight over a little. For a box that contains a bunch of paper and office supplies it is surprisingly heavy. The sooner he can get back to Ibuki’s room and put it down the better. He’s starting to wish they had some handles on this damn thing. 

  His footsteps echo as he walks down the empty halls. Every sound magnified over and over. In the back of his mind he knows that Mikan and Nagito won’t be able to hear them from all the way over here but he still winces with each one. 

  Even now he wishes he could still be back with Mikan and Nagito in the other room. If he was he wouldn’t be lugging all this around. One of the days he’ll learn to not get involved in Ibuki’s plans. One day…

  She had recruited him as soon as Mikan and Nagito had drifted to sleep. Without any warning she had dragged him out and demanded he assist her with setting up a recovery party. Apparently they still haven’t learnt their lesson from the last three parties they’ve had. Is it even possible for parties to work out? They might just be cursed at this point. Nevertheless here he is grabbing all of her supplies. Forever at her beck and call. 

  He’s not sure if she just wanted to keep it more low-key this time or if she wanted it to be a surprise for everyone but she had only recruited Byakuya and Hajime into her schemes this time. The three of them working all alone. And of course he is the one charged with all the manual labour and heavy lifting. A misuse of his skills if you ask him but of course no one did. 

  In spite of everything, he does his best to force a positive expression as he finally arrives at the communal area. It’s a good thing that it’s early enough in the morning that no one else is awake and around because there is no sneaking in this state.

  Stumbling the last few steps, he throws himself into Ibuki’s room. As he steps in she’s still sat cross legged on the floor, Byakuya at her side. They’re both looking in a large cardboard box and fiddling with something that he can’t see from this angle. 

  “I’ve got the stuff.” He grumbles and gently sets the box next to Ibuki. Even then she doesn’t look up from whatever her and Byakuya have found, “What are you doing?”

  Only then does Ibuki finally tears her eyes away, flailing excitedly and point into the box, “Look what I found!”

  “What is it?” He moves forward cautiously, ready to flee at the drop of a hat. 

  Thankfully he never needs to though. Instead of being some horrific creation it’s just a small metal box. It looks a little rough, small dents and scratches on the once smooth black surface, but other than that it looks decently well put together. Just well aged. He doesn’t need Ibuki here to tell him exactly what it is. 

  “It’s a speaker! Ibuki doesn’t have instruments here but with this we can have still have music!” She claps excitedly, her eyes sparkling the entire time. 

  “If we are having a party then it is a necessity.” Byakuya is as stern as ever but even though they’re not actively smiling, Hajime can hear the grin in their words. 

  “Where is the music going to come from though?” 

  Apparently this was a stupid question to even ask. He should have known that Ibuki would already have a plan for this. While there are something she can’t help but drop the ball on, music certainly isn’t one of those things. 

  “There were CD’s upon CD’s upon CD’s down there! Ibuki much prefer the natural vibrations of proper live music but music is still music. When stranded in a place like this we need to find whatever we can!” Her hands dramatically fly about as she explains. Poor Byakuya is left to just elegantly dodge out of the way of her hands to avoid being smacked in the face. 

  Part of him wants to disagree but for once he can’t. It would be nice to hear something. Anything. Perhaps this will set a better tone for the party than they’ve had for the last few… 

  “It sounds like a good plan.” 

  “Yayyy!” 

  “What are you going to do with all this then?” He asks as she nudges the box he had carried all the way here with the side of his foot. 

  She had sent him on his merry way without giving any room for questions. Even if he had tried, he doubts Ibuki would have given him anything to work with. Based on the last party he had assumed it would be for decorations but that’s not exactly a specific category. With Ibuki at the helm it could go any number of ways. 

  And yet the answer she gives still catches him off guard, 

  “We need to make invites of course!” 

  Even Byakuya frowns, crossing their arms, “What’s wrong with just telling everyone. It would be much faster.” 

  “Faster schmaster.” She rolls her eyes and huffs, “If it’s a party we have to do it properly!”

  He can’t believed he lugged all this over just for some invites! She couldn’t have just asked him to bring a few sheets? She needed to ask for an entire stash. 

  It’s Ibuki, you can’t be mad. It’s Ibuki, you can’t be mad. He repeats the chant over and over in his head. 

  Retraining himself he simply sighs, forcibly keeping himself under tight control, “Shouldn’t we have the party stuff ready before we do invites?”

  “We’re gonna make the invitations now then give them out when everything is ready.”

  “Okay, okay.” 

  Both him and Byakuya sigh, relenting to her without a fight. This is her idea, they might as well follow along with her vision for the party. Besides, it’s not like it really matters.

  Sufficiently worn down they both help her set up and invite making station. Pencils are scattered all about the room and paper shreds end up literally everywhere but she’s grinning and laughing the entire time. Neither of them fully understand her vision but they do their best to follow her instructions.

  Although they come out looking like a mess with random scraps of paper glued all over the front and a chaotic mess of colours scribbled everywhere, Ibuki holds them up lovingly as if they were the most beautiful things in the world. Who are they to tell her otherwise? They do their best to replicate the design for all twelve of the invitations but each one still manages to look wholly individual. 

  It’s only when they’re all finished and neatly set out in a line that Ibuki finally steps back and nods happily. All in a days work. 

  “They’re perfect! Everyone is going to love them.” She practically squeals, examining each one in turn. Through all the chaos it’s hard to even make out what is said on each one but hopefully it will work well enough. 

  “So are we setting up the party now?” He rubs his hands together. 

  The longer they sit here, the more time passes. And the more time passes, the longer Mikan and Nagito are alone in the patient room. At least they have each other for company but he can’t shake the feeling that he’s abandoned them somehow. What are they going to think when they wake up and find Ibuki and Hajime no where to be seen. 

  Much to his relief Ibuki grins, “Yep!”

  “We were discussing this and we want to set up the party outside.” Byakuya patiently explains. 

  “Outside?”

  He hadn’t even considered that they could to that. It would make sense, they have access to the whole building and presumably that would include the front door. It’s not like they need to stay inside all the time. And yet the thought of actually going out sends a chill down his spine. It’s shouldn’t be different to going out on the roof so why does it feel so different?  

  “Yep! Everyone needs to go outside and see something different. Being cooped up is driving Ibuki crazy. If we can find some fireworks then we could make it a proper party.”

  He almost wants to laugh at the mere thought. Fireworks?! How long would it take the Future Foundation to find them if they started shooting bright fireworks all over the skies? He can only imagine what Naegi and the others would say if they found out that they gave away their location by partying too hard. 

  He scratches the back of his neck as he carefully explains, “We won’t find fireworks but I guess going outside could be a good idea…”

  Apparently that’s all Ibuki needs. Without another word she’s jumping up, energy oozing off every inch of her body. There’s nothing Byakuya and him can do except follow her as she marches them downstairs. Of course not before loading themselves up with the string lights, boxes of food and the speaker. Thankfully this time it isn’t just him though. Although he does end up with more to carry both Byakuya and Ibuki also help out, carrying anything left over. 

  He lets Ibuki lead the way, traipsing behind her like a diligent little steward. His entire body is stiff and ridged, preparing for whatever they are going to find downstairs. Even when they’d first arrived here he never did get a good look at the other floors of the building. Naegi and the others had simply marched them through the building towards the staircase, never giving them space to breathe or examine their surroundings. He shouldn’t be surprised to see the floor is just as dull and boring as their floor though. 

  Ibuki clearly already knows the place like the back of her hand, swiftly moving down the halls until they find themselves at yet another kitchen. Things are still littered around the kitchen; pans on the drying rack, mugs left on the counter, a packet of rice open next to the oven. Everything left as if someone was expecting to come back. He can’t help but wonder if this is where Naegi and the others had been staying before they had to leave suddenly. 

  “Here, we can do the cooking and preparations down here.” She chuffs, holding her head up high. Pride seeps from her every expression. 

  “That is a good idea…the others won’t accidentally walk in on us cooking.” Byakuya hums, setting the box of food they were carrying onto the counter.  

  Although he’s hearing ‘we’ in relation to the cooking, he gets the distinct feeling that it won’t end up that way. Maybe he needs to start dragging Teruteru out of his room so they will start leaving him alone when it comes to food. 

  In spite of his annoyance he doesn’t make a complaint when Ibuki starts shoving food his arms. At least they both help him out which is something at least… He’s not sure how useful their help actually is but it’s better than nothing he supposes. Only when all the food is ready, either set up on the counter or hidden away in the fridge, do they start heading outside to examine the location of the party. 

  Somehow being out here on the ground floor feels entirely different to being up on the roof. Instead of being up high, separated from the rest of the world, they’re right in the midst of everything. Sure, the building might still be isolated on this island but it feels fast less distant than it did before. 

  The towering headquarters for the future foundation is shines through the darkness and fog that hangs over the water. The bright lights from the tower illuminating it despite the thickness of the night. He can’t help but feel like the future foundation is staring right at him. The wrong person looking this way at the wrong time could be the end of them.

  “This is perfect!” Ibuki sighs, her hands on her hips as she stares out across the water.

  Is she seeing an entirely different scene to him? Sometimes its hard to tell if he’s the one being weird or if he’s just the only one with any sense around here. Or maybe he’s just completely overthinking everything. It wouldn’t be the first time. 

  Byakuya hums, his hand rubbing his chin soothingly, “Hmm…it is a little gloomy.”

  “Gloomy is one way to describe it.”

  “When we put up the lights it will look perfect.” She speaks with absolute certainty. 

  Her hands wave dreamily at the front of the building, picturing how it will all look in her minds eye. He can’t see what difference a few fairy lights will make but he’s not the one with the plan here. Both him and Byakuya help her drag out some furniture and the fairy lights as they crack on with work. They leave Ibuki to string up the lights as they try to arrange tables and chairs. It sounds like an easy job but Ibuki immediately vetos all their set ups. Nothing is ever ‘party-esque’ enough for her. 

  And then it happens. 

  He sees it all happening as if in slow motion. The chair starts to wobble. Legs slowly coming up off the ground as she leans forward. But in spite of the shifting, Ibuki hasn’t notice though. No instead she is still reaching up. The light’s shaking as she tries to string them around the door frame. Her entire face is contorted as she stretches further and further. 

  And then she falls. 

  He doesn’t need to think before he’s moving. Within a second he’s at her side. Before she can hit the ground he grabs onto her. Without having enough time to fully think about his actions he simply grabs whatever he can reach. One hand rests on the back of her neck as the other one cushions her body as she falls onto him. 

  For a few second she’s entirely frozen. Her body as still and stiff as a board. And then he hears her breath hitch as she throws herself as far away from him as humanly possible. Both her hands jump up to her neck, scratching at it desperately. 

  “H-ha…T-thanks Haji…” She tries to speak but her words come out breathy and stilted. Even as she speaks she keeps backing further and further away. 

  “Are you okay Ibuki?”

  “O-Of course. I’m always doing amazing.” She tries to hold her head up high but it isn’t as convincing when she’s carefully guarding her neck with her hands. Even her laughter sounds scratchy and out of character. 

  Dropping everything Byakuya runs over to both of them, their brow furrowed and concern written across their face in bold. However the closer they gets, the more Ibuki backs away. Her wobbly smile does nothing to hide what’s really happening. Not when she’s practically tripping over her own feet. 

  Unable to get any closer, Byakuya slowly comes to a stop next to Hajime. Neither of them dare to even try and close the distance. Not when she’s like this. She might not be saying anything but her body language might as well be screaming. 

  “That was a close call.” Byakuya tries to soften their face as much as possible but it doesn’t seem to make any difference to anything. 

  “Y-Yep.” She forces another chuckle, her shoulders stiffening with every movement, “Oh yeah! I need to grab some more cups for people to use! Ibuki will run as fast as her legs can to get back here quickly!”

  She doesn’t give either of them a chance to speak before she’s running off. When she said ‘as fast as her legs can’ she certainly wasn’t lying. She runs right past them both at top speed, almost slamming into the front door as she tries to barge back into the building. As she runs by he can just about catch sight of the way her eyes glisten. Tears slowly drowning them. 

  It takes everything he has to stop himself from running after her. No matter his intentions it will only make things worse if he goes after her now. Space is what she needs. 

  “Is she -” Byakuya whispers, keeping their voice as low as possible, as if Ibuki is somehow going to overhear them. 

  “I think so…”

  Neither of them say a thing to Ibuki when she comes back smiling even brighter than before. You could almost be fooled into thinking he imagined the entire interaction. Her eyes aren’t even red. She looks exactly the same as every. Grinning. Bright. Sparkling. Just Ibuki. 

  And yet she still finds the first opportunity to disappear again, constantly leaving to fetch more food or drinks or plates. Anything and everything. Him and Byakuya are trapped. Stuck between a rock and a hard place. 

  It’s a relief when Ibuki finally decides everything is ready and they can start handing out invitations ready for the morning. Before either of them get to add their own input she has called ‘dibs’ on giving the invitations to Mikan and Nagito. That leave Hajime and Byakuya to do their rounds around the different rooms. Part of him wants to argue - after spending so long in the patient room with the two of them leaving them to Ibuki now feels wrong but he holds his tongue. Fear of making a wrong step coursing through him. 

  Instead they loyally follow her instructions, sliding an invitation under every doorway. They each take one half of the hallway, splitting the work as evenly as they can. For a moment he considers knocking to ensure everyone actually sees the damn things but if anyone is actually managing to get some rest then he probably shouldn’t interrupt that. There is still an hour left until the party according to the invite after all. He’s starting to regret letting Ibuki set up all the food outside already…

  When he comes to Mahiru’s door he freezes. The invitation hangs loosely in his hand. He can’t bring himself to move his hand. It’s not hard to know what the logical choice would be. There isn’t even a question. And yet as he hears Byakuya pattering behind him he bends down and slides the invitation under. 

  They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different result. He supposes he’s just going to have to wait and find out for himself. 

~~~

16/05 - 11:23

  “Where are Fuyuhiko, Mikan, and Nagito?” Sonia mutters, tapping her glass on the table dramatically.

  It has been twenty minutes and the guests of honour were still no where to be seen. Byakuya and Hajime had come back down before everyone else to keep an eye on lights and food while they waited but they haven’t seen hide or hair of Ibuki or the others she was supposed to be fetching. He’d have thought she would be the first one here and yet… 

  As the time drew nearer and nearer, more people showed up. There was no surprise when Sonia showed up first - that wasn’t even a question. Nekomaru and Akane showing up right after had been a little more surprising though. He supposes Nekomaru is able to keep her somewhat punctual.

  It had taken longer still for Kazuichi and Gundham to show up and much to his surprise the two men had showed up together a few minutes after the party was meant to start. They’re lucky Ibuki wasn’t here on time to give them a proper lashing. 

  Of course, Teruteru, Mahiru, and Hiyoko were still no where to be seen and he suspects they will never show up. The same seems to be true of Fuyuhiko and Peko at this point. Probably for the best… he mutters to himself. 

  “They’ll be here.” As Nekomaru hums he takes a bite of the food on his plate. Under normal circumstances he would be pulling the plate away immediately but at this point they might as well. If Ibuki has a problem with it then she needs to come out here and do something about it. The guests of honour might be missing but how long does she expect them to wait? 

  “If they do not have a satisfactory reason for keeping Gundham Tanaka, the supreme overlord of ice, waiting then we shall cast them into damnation.” Gundham grumbles. His arms are crossed and his jaw is tensed but instead of glaring at them or the main building he’s staring off at the ocean. Not even deigning to look their way. 

  Sighing to himself he stands up, tapping his foot on the ground. “Look, I’m going to go and check on them.” He can feel his sigh vibrate through his entire body.

  Sonia jumps up next to him, “You do not have to do that!” 

  “It isn’t like Ibuki to show up late, especially when she organised this whole thing. Maybe something is going on.”

  “That might be for the best.” Byakuya nods approvingly, “Would you like us to accompany you?”

  “No, it’ll be faster and easier alone. Just start enjoying the food - it’s better than letting it go to waste.” They’ve already left the food out for too long, there is nothing good going to come from letting it sit out even longer, especially now the sun is shining. 

  He waves them all off as he makes a beeline towards the door. As soon as he’s out of view he shoves his hands into his pockets as deeply as he can. Gundham isn’t wrong, if Ibuki doesn’t have a good explanation for all this he’s going to be mad. However as he marches up the stairs he does his best to push his frustration down. Putting all those thoughts far out of his mind until he has more information to work with. 

  When he gets to the top of the staircase he doesn’t head straight into the medical area though. No, instead he takes a quick detour over to their rooms. He doesn’t need to think twice before he’s in front of Fuyuhiko’s door, his fist slamming into it, “Fuyuhiko. Peko.”

  But even as he knocks the other side of the door stays silent. Could he be wrong? Maybe they’re in Peko’s room not his. No, that doesn’t seem right. They must be in Fuyuhiko’s room. Not only has Fuyuhiko set himself up in his room already but Peko’s is right by both Hiyoko and Mahiru. There’s no doubt in his mind they’re in here. They’re just not responding. 

  Maintaining a commanding tone he calls out through the door, “You need to bring your arses down to the party. I know the last ones have kind of sucked but you’re not doing yourselves any favours staying up here. Everyone wants to see you and be there to support you.” He pauses, straining to hear any motion beyond the door but there’s still nothing, “If you don’t come down I’ll back up here to drag you to the party by the ear.”

  With that he turns his back on the door and walks away. At least he’s tried, all he can do now I hope that he convinced them. Sure he could come back up and drag them out later if they don’t show up but that sounds like more effort than it’s worth. Besides, he’s not sure he wants to be attacked by Peko today. Lets just hope they don’t call his bluff. 

  His fists return to his pockets as he draws closer to the medical area. A million situations run through his mind as he gets closer and closer. It’s hard not to let your imagination run wild when faced with situations like this. Could Mikan or Nagito be in trouble? Could their stitches have come undone? Did Ibuki lost track of time? Is it related to Ibuki’s reaction earlier? 

  “Ibuki?” He calls out tentatively as he pushes open the door to the front facing medical room firmly.

  It’s only as he steps further in that the voices start drifting into focus. The voices are raised and stern. Arguing. And they both sound familiar.

  “- can’t let you.” He instantly places the voice of the doctor that had been collecting Fuyuhiko, Mikan, and Nagito from the patient room over the last two days. She’s not quite shouting but she’s definitely mastered the stern head teacher style talk. 

  He narrows his eyes as he draws closer. Instinctively, crossing his arms as he glares at the woman without even knowing what all of this is about, “What’s going on?”

  As soon as she sees him, Ibuki breaks into a smile. Not wasting a second she rushes over to his side, darting behind him just like that. But even then she makes sure to leave enough space between them to keep them just out of arms reach of each other. As soon as she’s safely hidden behind them she points an accusatory finger at the woman. 

  “Hajimeeeee! They aren’t letting us go to the party.” 

  “Tsumiki and Komaeda are recovering from major surgery. They shouldn’t be attending parties while they’re still weak.” The woman growls exasperatedly. 

  Slowly he’s starting to realise what must have been happening for the last half an hour. In a way he almost feels bad for the doctor. Not quite bad enough though. 

  “But its a party for them! They’re going to explode from boredom up here!” Ibuki dramatically grabs two fistfuls of her hair, miming pulling her hair out. Then again it is Ibuki, maybe she’s just pulling her hair out for real. 

  “I understand but it is not worth the risk of damage or infection.”

  “Ibuki is great at looking after people!” Ibuki frowns, putting both hands on her hips and shuffling slightly closer to Hajime, “Haji can confirm that they’ll be extra safe with me!”

  “I’m sorry if I don’t find that comforting.”

  Without knowing Ibuki he can see why she would feel this way but Ibuki actually is kinda right. There isn’t a single shred of doubt in his mind that she would make sure they are well cared for the entire time. Perhaps that’s just because of how fresh the Neo World Program is in his mind but it seems impossible to think any differently. He suspects the doctor won’t accept that as an answer though. He’s going to need to take a different approach. 

  “Look, I understand that it is important they don’t get injured. I’m sure someone has told you about me and my…abilities. I promise I will keep an eye on both of them the entire time so they stay in perfect condition. If anything does happen I will take responsibility. I do believe this will be good for them though.”

  He refuses to break eye contact with the woman. They both just stand there, glaring at each other. A true standoff. They are both stubborn enough to keep standing here for as long as it takes. Neither of them can afford to let the other win. He can’t believe he’s ended up being the one defending this. 

  “Fine.” She finally turns away, clenching her jaw, “But there better not be so much as a scratch on either of them.” She points at each of them in turn, practically hissing as she does so. 

  He has no idea what she’s going to threaten them with if they do come back injured but it doesn’t matter because they’re never going to find out, “I give you my word.”

  Apparently that’s all she needed. Still scowling at the walls the woman turns on her heel and stalks off. Her shoes click rhythmically as she storms off. Both him and Ibuki watch silently as she disappears from view, leaving the medical room and turning off down the corridor. 

  Only when she’s fully gone from sight does Ibuki start jumping up and down, letting out an ear piercing squeal, “Eeeee! Haji that was soooo cool! You were like pow-pow-pow!” She mocks punching the air, her eyes twinkling. 

  He shakes his head disapprovingly, doing his best to hide the tiny smile gracing his lips. The last thing he needs is for Ibuki to notice that.

  “Come on let’s just get them downstairs before the doctor changes her mind.”

  Ibuki leads the way to the corridor and then through into the patient room, skipping ahead of him without so much as a glance back. Her hair swings gracefully from side to side with every bounce. A flashing array of colours dancing in front of him. 

  As soon as the door opens Nagito sits up in bed, greeting them with a smile, “Ibu - Ah, Hajime.”

  Dark bags are starting to underline Nagito’s eyes but his hair looks freshly brushed and neat for once. Or at least as neat as Nagito can look. His waves still splay about awkwardly but it looks more bouncy and less scraggly than normal.

  His amputated arm had been pulled up into a tight sling that holds it close to his chest. He suspects that when it had been applied at most a few hours ago it was in perfect condition, however now that is no longer the case. Stickers have been dotted all over the white fabric and someone has attacked it with an assortment of rainbow colours. If he’s being honest it looks like a unicorn has thrown up on it. Maybe that’s exactly how Nagito likes it though. 

  On the bed next to him is Mikan. Her hair has also been neatly styled like Nagito but it has gone a step further than just neatly brushing it. While most of her hair hangs down choppily as usual, two small space buns now sit on top of her hair making the choppiness look more stylised and purposeful. It probably shouldn’t suit her as much as it does but he would be lying if he said it didn’t work for her. 

  “W-What’s going on?” Mikan bites her lip. Her very first instinct is to look over to Ibuki warily but the other woman just gives her a crooked grin that already gives away her mischief. He’s starting to think Ibuki wouldn’t be good at poker. 

  Clearing his throat and doing his best to draw the attention away from Ibuki he announces, “We made arrangements for you to come and get some fresh air.”

  Mikan’s eyes immediately widen, her shoulders relaxing at once. Nagito on the other hand…

  “Hmmm, I see.” He smiles but as he meets Hajime’s gaze he can see the cogs turning. There’s going to be no pulling the wool over his eyes. 

  “A-Are we going up to the roof again?”

  Not wanting to actively lie to her he simply answer, “You’ll see.”

  Sensing her time Ibuki jumps forward, skipping across the room to take her place at the foot of Mikan’s bed. As she makes her way over she grabs onto the wheelchair at the side of the room, bringing it along with her. However, as soon as she reaches the foot she stops, not making any effort to fully stand at Mikan side. The most she does is push the wheelchair slightly closer, holding tightly onto the handles. 

  “Come on! It’s going to be bombastic! Let’s get you in the wheelchair! Ibuki will push you so you don’t need to worry.”

  Mikan and Nagito don’t bother even trying to argue any further. He’s not sure if they’ve just learnt to accept Ibuki’s strangeness or if they already know exactly whats going on. Either way as long as they’re heading down that’s all that matters. 

  With Ibuki pushing Mikan’s wheelchair, Nagito filters over to Hajime's side. They both follow a few steps behind making sure to stay well out of the danger zone of the wheelchair. The thing might as well be a death trap with Ibuki behind it. 

  As soon as they get out into the main corridor there is nothing that can stop Ibuki anymore. Mikan can just squeal as Ibuki glides down the hallway, stood on the back of the wheelchair to let it roll freely on the smooth floors. In the back of his mind he knows he should probably stop her instantly - the doctor would have an aneurysm at the sight, but he can’t bring himself to. As long as they’re not slamming into walls or giving Mikan a heart attack what’s the harm. Besides, it does make for some good entertainment. 

  “You guys really are kind.” Nagito leans close, whispering softly. With Mikan screeching it’s almost too quiet to hear at all. He has to read Nagito’s lips to be fully certain of what he’s saying. 

  “I don’t know what you are talking about.” He turns away staying stoic, but there’s nothing he can say to convince Nagito. He already knows. 

  “Ah, my bad.”

  Thankfully the conversation is interrupted by Mikan and Ibuki grinding to a halt at the top of the stairs. The wheelchair sits right at the edge of the top step. Hanging precariously. Clearly accessibility wasn’t considered when they made this place. For a moment he thinks Ibuki is going to simply try and bump her down the stairs but she doesn’t. She just stands there frozen as he mind grinds to a halt. 

  Not wasting a second, Hajime jogs over to her side. Making sure not to accidentally brush Ibuki with his shoulder as he shuffles past the wheelchair, “Here, let me carry Mikan while you take the wheelchair.”

  “But -” Mikan starts to complain but he shuts her down immediately.

  “It’s no problem. It’ll be faster and easier this way. Sling your arm over my shoulder.” He bends down beside her, offering her a comforting smile.

  For a few seconds the both stay frozen like that, waiting for something to happen. He’s acutely aware of Nagito and Ibuki watching them quietly but he doesn’t push Mikan to hurry up. But much to his relief she eventually reaches out and clings onto him, letting him slide her out of the wheelchair and into his arms. 

  Carrying her bridal style, they carefully make their way downstairs. He has enough faith in his balance to be perfectly comfortable running down the stairs with Mikan but chooses to take his time anyway. Even if he’s confident in himself, he can feel how tense Mikan is. Her eyes are tightly screwed closed at this pace so he doesn’t even want to imagine how she would be if they were running. 

  Behind them Ibuki and Nagito follow, letting the wheelchair violently bump down every step. Ibuki giggles with each one, trying to lighten Mikan’s mood to little avail. As soon as they reach the bottom step he carefully lowers her back into the wheelchair, letting her lean into it. Her hands close tightly around the armrests, as if trying to lock her in there.

  “Th-thank you Hajime.” She smiles sweetly, instantly relaxing. Every ounce of tension instantly evaporates instantaneously.

  “We have made it! Our adventure is successful.” Ibuki declares before storming forward with Mikan once more. They’re left with nothing but her screeches as they whip through the halls once again. At this rate Mikan is going to be too sick to even eat the party food. 

  Despite their head start, Ibuki pauses in front of the main door, giving Nagito and Hajime time to catch up. They both step past her, each taking one of the two doors and casually pulling them open to allow the soft winds and bright red sky to overwhelm Mikan. And of course there is the cheering faces of their friends too. 

  “CONGRATULATIONS!” Like an orchestra reaching the crescendo, they all shout at once, practically knocking Mikan over.

  So much for not trying to shock her with the surprises. It seems all of that went right out of the window at once. 

  Her eyes instantly begin welling up, “E-Everyone….” Both her arms reach up to ferociously scrub at her face, trying in vain to dry them before she becomes an absolute state. 

  Everything is chaotic as they’re overwhelmed by a storm of people shoving food and drinks in their hands - or hand in Nagito’s case. In the chaos Ibuki slips away, disappearing into the back as Mikan is doted on by everyone. Even Nagito is dragged forwards by Akane as she tries to shove a meat skewer into his mouth. It’s a miracle he doesn’t choke. Instead he smoothly takes it from her grasp and lets her sling an arm over his shoulder. 

  Mimicking Ibuki, Hajime steps back from the group to watch from a distance. Keeping a close eyes as they all fall over each other. In the background he’s faintly aware of music playing but he simply lets himself get slowly enveloped by the wind. The chattering voices drown out the sound of the everything else but he thinks it’s better this way. He can’t even hear what they’re talking about but it feels comfortable. 

  “Here. You have been avoiding the banquet you set up yourself. Lest we think you are trying to secretly poison us you should have some yourself.” Gundham suddenly barks, shoving a plate into his hands. 

  He hadn’t even noticed the man was there. Blending into the background far away from the others. No one is even looking their way, not even Ibuki who is still hanging slightly back from everyone else. 

  “Thanks, Gundham.”

  However as soon as he says those words Gundham crosses his arms and scowls, “Hmph, I care not for you but it would be troublesome for me to have to deal with.”

  Yet he hangs by Hajime's side anyway. The two of them people watching as their friends mill about the table. Neither of them say anything so they might as well be alone but somehow it feels warmer with Gundham beside him. Listening to every huff and grumble fills him with a sense of comfort. 

  As they watch Ibuki, Akane, and Sonia dance around the table excitedly. It’s not exactly a graceful dance, it’s not even in time with the music (if they can even hear it), but they’re smiling the entire time. They do their best to drag others into it to little avail. The closest they get is a blushing Kazuichi bopping his head before he shrinks away. Retreating into his food. 

  Nagito and Mikan are sat side by side, watching everyone with smiles lighting up their faces. Even when a bird flies by and poos on Nagito his positive mood isn’t interrupted. For once nothing can ruin the feeling.

  From here he gets a perfect overview of everything everyone does. The others might not be able to notice it but he sees the way Ibuki avoids passing by Mikan as she’s dancing. Always keeping the woman in her sights. Every movement is so natural and smooth and yet somehow her back is never turned to Mikan. Not once throughout the celebrations.  

  He must look insane or like a stalker as he tracks Ibuki around the table but luckily the only person that might be able to notice is Gundham and Gundham is already far too busy people watching to give Hajime any attention. 

  Less fortunately, he’s so caught up in keeping he almost doesn’t notice the door silently opening behind him. Two shadowy figure slink out from behind it, trying to stick close to the walls as the begin to loiter.

  “Fuyuhiko.” He spins around and instantly grins at the pair as the sound of their footsteps summon his attention.

  But as soon as he does, Fuyuhiko winces, flinching back slightly. For a split second he frowns, wondering why, but as soon as the thought crosses his mind the answer becomes apparent. Their sneaky entrance is instantly destroyed by Akane charging forwards, practically throwing herself onto Fuyuhiko. Peko instantly tenses, her entire expression darkening, but Akane couldn’t care less. Instead her hand reaches up, rustling through Fuyuhiko’s slightly long and floppy hair. 

  “C’mere baby gangsta.”

  “Get off me.” He tries in vain to shove her off but he’s completely trapped at her whim. Nothing he can do will ever free him. Not until she chooses to let him go. 

  “Nah, I don’t feel like it.” She cackles and only rustles his hair further. 

  “Akane!” 

  Peko doesn’t smile (who knows if she’s even able to at this point) but she does clear her throat as she backs away. Abandoning him to his suffering, “Would you like me to fetch you some food, young master?”

  “Whatever.” 

  He pouts but gives up on trying to push Akane away. Submitting to his fate. There’s nothing else he can do at this point. Even Fuyuhiko isn’t quite a good enough actor to hide the hints of a smile that cling to him though. Especially not good enough to hide it from Hajime. 

  Even with the others here, Hajime is more than happy hanging back with Gundham. Simply watching the others is enough. It feels like if he takes a single step forward everything will fall apart. Even the food sits uneaten on his plate. 

  People drift in and out of the building as they refill drinks, bring out more snacks and use the toilet. Bit by bit the food vanishes and everyone runs out of energy. As they do so they slowly migrate from the table and chairs and onto the grass around the building. Laying on the grass they all stare up at the foggy red sky. They even recruit Nekomaru to gently lift Mikan from her wheelchair to lay her beside them all.

  He’s not sure what they’re all seeing as they look up with pollution drowning out practically everything but he makes sure to stay silent to not interrupt them. Music is still playing in the background but he doubts anyone is listening anymore. 

  Him and Gundham might be trying to sink into the background but they’re not allowed to get away with it for long. They both already know what’s happening when Sonia starts approaching them. 

  “Come on! Join us!” She grabs both of their sleeves, ready to take them by force if necessary. And it most certainly is. 

  “I -”

  But regardless of Gundham’s protests she forcibly drags them both without so much as a second thought, “Come!” There’s no point in them speaking at all. It’s not like she’s able to hear a word they say. No, action is the only thing that works. 

  As such he yanks his arm out of her grasp as he skips back. His plate wobbles in his hand but he manages to keep it balanced enough to prevent to food falling as he move. It’s not like he feels like eating but cleaning it up off the floor would be a pain. 

  “I just need to head to the toilet first.” He offers weakly.

  It might be a lie but it’s not exactly a harmful one. He just needs to get rid of this food and he suspects Sonia wouldn’t take too kindly to the idea. It’s not like anything is wrong but right now he shouldn’t give anyone any reason to be worried. Not when he already knows they're going to blow it way out of proportion. 

  Thankfully that seems to do the job though, “Fine. You must return though.”

  There’s nothing he can do to save Gundham as the man is dragged off to join everyone else. He tucks his head into his neck, shying away from everything, but he doesn’t do anything to fight Sonia off. Instead he just shuffles after her, their hands knotted together as she pulls him along. 

  Not wanting to give Sonia the chance to change her mind, he darts away back into the building. Unsure of where the bins even are in the building, he first makes his way over to the kitchen. Even if there aren’t bins in the rest of the building there has to be one in the kitchen, right? Much to his relief he’s completely right. Tucked away in the corner is a small bin. It’s not amazing but it’s a bin, it doesn’t need to be. 

  However as he scrapes the food away he can’t help but notice the pile of food already sat there. Fresh food. Their party food. An entire plate must have been dropped in here. Nothing more than small nibbles taken from it. He doesn’t need to stop and think about who’s food this could be. There’s only one person…

  His stomach drops. 

~~~

16/05 - 21:12

  They stay laying on the grass for hours. The sun dips lower and lower until it’s kissing the horizon. Even with the sky bright red, they’re still gifted with a beautiful spread of colours that splay out from every spot that the sun touches the horizon. Reds. Yellows. Oranges. Pinks. It looks like someone has set the world ablaze and yet it soothes his heart. 

  With every passing second the it gets colder and colder. Or at least as cold as it can get here. When they’re trapped inside it’s easy to forget they’re on a tropical island ‘resort’. Well, what used to be one anyway. Compared to normal standards it must still be pretty warm but right now after basking in the warmth of the sun all day it feels more like standing in front of an open fridge than laying by a tropical coast.

  Part of him wants to grab blankets and let them all bundle up out here but then he turns to his side and sees Nagito and Mikan laid out on the floor. Mikan is curled on her side in a way that probably isn’t great for her recovering abdomen. Her forehead pressed against Sonia’s arm with her eyes fluttered closed and mouth ever so slightly open.

  In the excitement of everything they might have forgotten that their friends are actually recovering. Pretty ironic considering this is a ‘recovery’ party. The doctor would probably bite his head off for keeping them out this long. No matter how much he wants them to stay out here all night, a proper bed with nearby medical care might be more fitting. 

  Yet even knowing that, he can’t bring himself to disrupt anyone. Instead he turns on his side to face Nagito who is laying next to him, staring up at the quickly darkening sky.

  “Nagito?” He whispers tentatively, watching Nagito carefully. Only when Nagito tears his eyes away from the sky and rolls to the side to face him does he continue, “I think we should head back and put Mikan to bed.”

  Nagito hums and props himself up with one arm to peer over the sea of people to try and find Mikan. Hajime can see the moment he catches sight of her, his body relaxing somewhat and his eyes softening at the sight of her sleeping.

  Instead of replying verbally, he quietly stands up. Practically gliding across the grass towards her. Not wanting to waste a moment Hajime follows behind him, practically glued to Nagito’s side.

  As they start moving, people begin looking up. Watching them closely but both of them just ignore the others as they maneuver around the laying bodies. Thankfully it only takes a few seconds for people to lose interest and go back to their whispering and relaxing once more.

  As soon as they reach Mikan Hajime crouches down at the woman’s side while Nagito grabs her wheelchair. At first Sonia tries to wave him off but he just shakes his head and pleads with her with his eyes. It takes a few seconds  but eventually Sonia leans back, giving him free reign. Surrendering control just like that.

  “Mikan. Mikan, can you hear me?” He whispers under his breath as he taps her gently. She stirs at the sounds but just buries herself deeper into Sonia’s side.

  “Mikan, you need to get up now.” Sonia joins in, her voice as soft and melodic as a lullaby.

  But even then she just hums in her sleep, curling up even further. Not wanting to bother her any more, he gently pulls her into his arms, letting her curl up into him instead. Sonia shivers, suddenly being exposed to the air again but she still offers a weak smile as he carefully gets up with Mikan bundled up in his arms. Part of him expects her to immediately wake up but even now she remains dead to the world.

  Gently readjusting her, he begins walking towards the building and to Nagito who is trying his best to manage the wheelchair. As soon as he catches sight of Hajime and Mikan he stops and frowns, “Izu -” 

  “Can you push the wheelchair yourself?” He leans in close to Nagito so he can whisper as quietly as possible, “She clearly needs rest so I’ll just carry her up.” Besides they would have needed to carry her upstairs anyway so this always would have ended up being the plan. 

  Without needing to give it another moments thought, Nagito nods, “Okay.” 

  But even in spite of that Hajime isn’t too sure. With only one hand he does his best to maneuver the wheelchair, gripping it in the middle in a weak attempt to make it work. But in spite of his attempts it looks more like he’s wrangling a wild animal than pushing a wheelchair. He couldn't have picked a worse person to help him. Fortunately Hajime isn’t the only one watching his struggle at least. 

  “What’s going on?” Ibuki calls out in a sing song voice as she gets closer.

  Hajime can’t stop himself wincing at the loud noise, feeling Mikan stirring slightly in his arms. Being as careful as possible, he pulls her even closer. Trying to shield her head and ears as much as possible. 

  Without having any free arms, he has to rely on Nagito to shut up Ibuki. Thankfully Nagito's hand instantly flies to his lips as he shushes her softly. At first she just frowns, raising one eyebrow and darting her eyes past all three of them. It takes a few seconds for everything to click. It's then that Ibuki chuckles awkwardly and dips her head. 

  “Awww, she’s all tuckered out!” Ibuki giggle quietly as she hop closer, peering over at Mikan. “Gimme the wheelchair! I wanna push it.” 

  She doesn’t give any room for Nagito to argue back, sliding into his spot and gently prying the wheelchair from him. Nagito awkwardly scratches at his arm as he stands around at Hajime's side. Without anything to do he just looks lost. 

  “You can grab the door.” Hajime nods down at his full arms and at Ibuki who is already pushing the wheelchair around in circles enthusiastically. 

  Working together the three of them eventually manage to stumble their way upstairs. With every step he tries to cushion Mikan as much as possible but he slowly starts to wonder if he even needs to bother trying. It’s not like she woke up from the tapping, Ibuki calling, or even him picking her up. At this point she might just be out for the count. Nevertheless he does everything he can to keep her comfy and stable despite all the movement. 

  Nagito leads the way and Ibuki brings up the rear, walking backwards to drag the wheelchair up behind her. Unlike on the way down she does her best to move it slowly, reducing the sound from it bumping on the stairs as much as possible. Although she doesn’t speak for most the journey that doesn’t stop her humming a familiar song under her breath the entire time. No matter how much he strains he can’t place it at all though. 

  As they reach their floor Ibuki begins to follow them through to the patient room but Hajime stops in his tracks and turns to her before she can get any further. 

  “I’ll stay with them tonight.” He whispers firmly. 

  Both Nagito and Ibuki stop at once, frowning at him from both sides. Almost as if they’re a single hivemind they both cock their heads in sync, trying to read him. 

  “What -?” 

  Hajime doesn’t even need to hear her ask the question before the lie has flown from his lips, “The doctor requested they only have one visitor tonight.”

  Knowing how the doctor was earlier she probably would be happier with a one visitor limit (especially when the second visitor is Ibuki) but she never said a thing. Lying might not be the best solution but he can’t forget how Ibuki has been today. No matter how smooth and secretive she thinks she is he isn’t going to forget easily. 

  Ever since she’s woken up he’s been more than happy to let her stick by Mikan's side. At this point she might as well be Mikan’s carer. But just for tonight he needs to put his foot down. Someone needs to because it isn’t going to be Ibuki.  

  “Hmmm?”

  “I think she wants it to be as relaxing as possible.” He explains casually, pleading to any god that could possibly be out there that she buys it. 

  Apparently they heard because she simply huffs, “Awwww, but they shouldn’t be all alone.” Pouting she crosses her arms and taps her foot on the ground but she doesn’t appear to be thinking twice about his words. 

  “They won’t be, I’ll be with them. With my talents I can make sure they get anything they need.”

  “Hmmm, okay then!” She breaks out into a grin. It seems even she can’t argue with that kind of logic, “I’ll come and check on you tomorrow then!”

  Humming happily she turns on her heel, leaving the wheelchair behind, but Nagito manages to catch her right before she darts off. Not wanting to grab onto her he instead calls out after her, “Thanks for looking after us today.”

  At once she grinds to a stop, her body stiffening. But within a second she’s spun around, grinning brightly with her hands proudly on her hips once again, “It’s no problem for Ibuki Mioda!”

  And then she disappears back downstairs to join the others. As soon as the door to the stairs closes the sound of her distinctive humming is sealed away leaving him, Nagito and Mikan alone with their silence. Well, silence except for the sound of their own breathing. 

  “Come on then. We’ll leave the wheelchair out here for now.” He nods towards the door. 

  It’s not like someone is going to come in and steal the thing. In a place like this where it’s just them they don’t need to worry about that. What they need to worry about is getting Mikan settled in a proper bed. It’s not that he minds holding her but he suspects her neck and back would appreciate a little more comfort. 

  As soon as they get to the bed Nagito pulls back the covers letting Hajime gently lower her onto the mattress. Once she’s settled they pull the covers back up, tucking her in tightly. Only when she’s fully settled do they both finally flop backwards onto Nagito’s bed. Laying side by side and staring up at the ceiling.

  Chuckling to himself, Nagito slings his arm over his eyes, his body shaking the bed slightly.

  “You okay?” He asks cautiously, turning his head to the side to he can examine the man. With his arm slung over his face it’s impossible to read his face. All he can see is the way he vibrates, his shoulders loose and relaxed as he sinks into the mattress.

  “Of course. It’s just funny.”

  “What is?” He racks his brain to try and figure out what he could be talking about but nothing comes to mind. No matter how much he thinks his mind is blank. He tries to run through everything he know about Nagito but still nothing. 

  Nagito shifts his arm, tilting his head towards Hajime. For a few seconds they lay there like that. Both staring into each others eyes, trying to read the others mind. But no matter how long they stare nothing becomes any clearer. 

  Eventually Nagito just shakes his head and turns back to stare up at the ceiling, “Never mind.”

  Clearing his throat, Hajime sits up sharply and announces, “We should probably get to sleep too.”

  Regardless of how hard he tried he doubts he would be able to fall asleep even if he wanted to right now but logical reminds him they should probably at least try. Especially Nagito. Sometimes it’s a little too easy to forget he’s been through surgery. Not just him, Fuyuhiko too. If anyone needs a much rest as possible it’s going to be them. 

  Apparently Nagito agrees too as without much argument they both get up off the bed, stretching out slightly. They both know they should probably brush their teeth or get changed but neither of them make any moves to. Instead, Nagito kicks off his shoes and starts pulling back the covers. 

  Without even thinking twice, Hajime begins moving towards the chair that is still perched by the side of Nagito’s bed. It’s like he’s moving on instinct. 

  “You know you can take the bed over there.” Nagito asks cautiously as he points over at one of the empty beds in the room. 

  Logic would dictate that he probably should take the bed - after all why not when you know it’s going to be superior - and yet the mere thought sends a chill down his spine. He sees another bed. Another place. Another room. No matter how long he look he can’t unsee it. 

  “It’s fine.” He shakes his head casually, keeping his voice steady and relaxed as ever. 

  “At least sleep on the couch.”

  His first instinct is to immediately shut the man down but he quickly catches himself. It really would be stupid to sit on the small dining room chair when they have two perfectly decent couches. 

  Settling on the compromise he nods, “Okay.” 

  He even allows himself to grab some covers and a pillow from the bed, carefully setting up a little makeshift. He can only imagine how strange he must look to Nagito but he tries not to let his mind drift to those thoughts. Instead he just sinks into the pillow, focusing on the soft sounds of Mikan snoring and Nagito settling himself into his bed. 

  “Good night, Nagito.”

  “Good night.”

Chapter Text

17/05 - 09:57

  Hajime sighs to himself, wiping his brow with the back of his sleeve. If he thought yesterday had been warm then clearly he had no idea what was in store. The sun is high in the sky, slowly roasting the back of his neck. For the first time since he cut off his hair he’s starting to regret it. Sure the black hair would get incredibly warm on hot days but at least his neck was covered.

  Maybe it’s selfish of him but looking at Nekomaru and Gundham in front of him does make him feel a little better. Poor Gundham already has a red burn on the bridge of his nose and sweat is slowly soaking through his white t-shirt. Him and Nekomaru are either side of the large table, holding it up off the ground. While he isn’t in as bad a state as Gundham, Nekomaru is sweating heavily. Beads of sweat line his hair line and his tanned skin, glowing in the shimmering sun. 

  The three of them were the only ones who drew the metaphorical short straw. Someone had to put away all the tables and chairs from yesterday and they were left holding the bag. However, as much as he complains, it’s not all bad. Even if they’re not actually on the beach, the warm weather, tropical trees and the sound of the crashing ocean definitely give the feel of a beach side holiday. Even with the dark red sky the holiday atmosphere can’t be broken.

  Nevertheless he has a job to do. Nekomaru and Gundham won’t let him get away with just standing around while they do the heavy lifting (literally). He rolls up his sleeves with one hand and huffs drowsily. As the two get closer and closer he pulls open the door, letting Gundham and Nekomaru into the building first. 

  Working together they’ve already made good progress, though there wasn’t actually much for them to sort out in the first place. Once this table is done they’ll just have some chairs left to deal with. And then they’ll be free to hide away indoors once again. Willingly sealing themselves back up. 

  Once Gundham and Nekomaru have disappeared inside he moves about the area, carefully stacking up the chairs into four decent sized stacks. He hums to himself as he moves about, the song Ibuki had been humming yesterday now trapped in his head. Only when he has the stacks fully made does he finally pick up one up to start transporting it. 

  However, right as he’s about to open the door to the building, the front door slams open and Gundham shuffles out alone. His hands are shoved deep into his pockets but Nekomaru is no where to be seen. Hajime frowns and peers through the doorway but even then he can’t see the other man. 

  “Where’s Nekomaru?”

  “Ha! That man is useless. Once more he was distracted from his mission to relieve himself.” Gundham huffs and turns his head away grumpily. 

  It’s not like he doesn’t get the frustration but they can’t exactly hold that against Nekomaru. Nature calls when it calls. 

  “Come on then. We only have a little left now.” He nods over to the stacks that are still lined up. While having Nekomaru around would be nice they most certainly don’t need him. Between the two of them they’ll only need two more trips.

  Even though Gundham scowls and huffs grouchily he still helps Hajime with the chairs. They bring both stacks into the dining room where they’d originally found them, taking the time to set them out neatly around the table. He’s not really sure why they go to all the effort when they’re likely the only ones who will end up seeing them - actually thinking about it he still has no idea where the doctors have all been staying while they’re here. Nevertheless it feels nice when they can finally look upon the neat room. 

  However, as they go back for the last two stacks they’re interrupted as they start picking up the chairs. The door crashes open, slamming into the wall as Nekomaru bursts back in. 

  “Look what I found!” Nekomaru announces, holding up the bag in his hands.

  For a moment he just narrows his eyes as if he’s somehow going to magically develop x-ray vision to stare through the fabric. But then Nekomaru pulls a handful of fabric out of the bag. 

  “My scarf!” Gundham rushes forwards at once, not even giving Nekomaru a second look as he drops the chair like a hot potato. Practically shoving him aside, he pulls on his scarf, cradling it with both hands. He doesn’t need to think for more than a second before he’s slung the scarf around his neck, breathing into the material softly. 

  It’s not just Gundham’s scarf though. He would recognise that dark green coat anywhere. Those blue and pink thigh highs too. But the one that stands out most it the yellow kimono hanging from Nekomaru’s hand. 

  Like a feral animal Gundham scrounges through the bag, throwing all the clothes out haphazardly. He doesn’t stop until he’s located all his own clothes, tugging on his coat over the dull clothes he had been wearing. It’s strange, he never thought that clothes mattered that much but somehow seeing Gundham once more swaddled in his scarf and jacket completely changes his mind. He hadn’t realised just how wrong Gundham had looked until this exact moment. It’s like suddenly the world had been made right. 

  “Where did you find these?” Hajime mumbles, shuffling closer to try and peer into the mass of fabric now littering the floor. 

  “Someone just folded them all up in a draw in the living room by the kitchen.”

  Probably Naegi and the others. They did confiscate all their stuff before putting them in the machine. Not that that had stopped Hajime sneaking in the USB stick. Part of him had just assumed they incinerated it all though. Either that or that they at least threw them away. Clearly her was wrong. Perhaps they just forgot about them which is why they never received them again after waking up.

  “Here’s your suit.” Nekomaru grabs some black fabric and throws it Hajime's way without warning. Even so he catches it with ease, letting his fingers dig into the soft material.

  God, he had forgotten how nice these felt. After spending so long in plain cotton t-shirts and sweatpants he had almost forgot how nice clothes could feel.

  Yet as he stands here holding them he doesn’t feel the rush he thought he would. He had been so sure that he would instantly want to strip down and change but instead he just stands there like a deer in the headlights. Just a few weeks ago he had been desperate for his suit but now… 

  Turning to the side he examines Gundham again. The man is breathing in the fabric desperately. Soaking them in. Perfectly molded into them despite weeks apart. But Hajime feels out of place even just holding his damn clothes. 

  Forcing a smile he tucks the fabric under his arm and gives Nekomaru a nod, “I can’t believe you found all these. I’m sure everyone is going to want them back immediately.” 

  “We must return them at once!” Gundham announces vigorously, tugging his scarf closer than Hajime had previously thought possible. Here's to hoping he doesn't choke himself.

  “Ha, I agree!”

  Although they both want to instantly head up and give the clothes to everyone, he manages to wrangle them both long enough to get the chairs in if nothing else. This time they don’t bother setting them out properly though. As long as they’re indoors that’s all that matters. 

  As they arrive back in the communal area they kneel down around the coffee table. Their knees burn but none of them complain as they neatly set out the clothes on the table. Nekomaru and Gundham instantly dive in, sorting out everyone’s clothes with nothing more than a glance.

  At first he moves to help out but he quickly leans back, taking the time to just watch them. They both work perfectly in tandem, passing the clothes out to each other without even looking up. Even the most obscure pieces are organised without a second thought. Never in his life did he think he get would see Nekomaru and Gundham like this. 

  “Here, you two take these stacks. We can split up to hand them out.” Nekomaru groups together the clothes and shove the stacks into each of their arms.

  Given how close the rooms are to each other it seems a little silly to split up like this but he keeps his lips sealed. What’s the harm in knocking on a few doors alone? This can’t even be considered alone as Nekomaru and Gundham will be within throwing distance. 

  Following behind Nekomaru, they both grip onto their stacks. Neither of them speak but they both thumb through their clothes to figure out who they are going to. Nagito, Hiyoko, Peko and Mahiru. Clearly Nekomaru was well versed with where everyone’s rooms are. It’s not just all his rooms that are close together, but the same is true for Gundham and Nekomaru too - although Nekomaru's seems to have been split into two distinct areas. Each of them taking their own region of the corridor. 

  He’s forced to squeeze past Gundham and Nekomaru, pushing deeper into the corridor. Looking down at his stack he wonders how many he will actual be able to deliver. At this point he would be surprised to find out that Peko had even stepped into her room before. Not to mention Nagito is still in the patient room. Even Hiyoko and Mahiru aren't sure fire bets. Both of them might as well have been sewn together since waking up but he never actually determined if they’ve been holing up in Mahiru or Hiyoko’s rooms. 

  Hopes not very high, he stations himself in front of Peko’s room first. He does his best to ignore the sounds of Gundham and Nekomaru smacking on the doors behind him as he firmly knocks on the door. Patiently waiting. And then he knocks again. And again. Nothing. He doesn’t even have the energy to pretend to be sad. 

  For a moment he considers bringing it over to Fuyuhiko’s room (there’s no point in pretending she’s anywhere else) but in the end he settles for gently laying out the clothes in front of the door. Hopefully she will get the hint when Nekomaru knocks on her door. If not he can always bring them over later. 

  There’s no point in him walking around to Nagito's door so he focuses on Hiyoko’s door instead. Stalling in front of it for as long as he can. But of course he can’t put it off forever. No matter how the interactions with Hiyoko have gone so far he can’t back off now. 

  Bracing himself he gently raps on the door. And then he knocks again. Just before he starts to turn away the door slowly swings open. Standing in the doorway is Hiyoko, her arms pulled close to her to hug her tightly.

  “What do you want?” She scowls but the effect is ruined by her soft voice and the dark bags under her eyes. 

  “Here.” He holds her clothes out so she can clearly see it, “Nekomaru found them in a draw downstairs.” 

  At once Hiyoko darts forward, clinging onto the clothes for dear life. Her fingers knot into the fabric, holding it as close as humanly possible. Before replying she turns around, hiding away her face. All he can see is her back silhouetted against the darkness of the room behind her. 

  “Thanks.” If he wasn’t listening as hard as he physically could he wouldn’t have been able to hear it. He’s not even sure if Hiyoko wanted him to be able to hear it. 

  Right before she closes the door on his face he gets a short look into the darkness beyond. Even now he half expects to see Mahiru sat down on the bed or something but it really just is Hiyoko alone. All the lights have been kept off which makes it hard to make out much of anything but he does notice empty sweet packs littered all around the room. Clothes are strewn everywhere and all the draws in the room are hanging open. Clean clothes hanging over the edges like they’re bursting out from the seams. 

  And then the door is slammed in his face. He only just darts back quick enough to avoid getting hit in the face. And then that’s it. He just stands in front of the door as if watching it long enough is magically going to make it open. Of course it doesn’t…

  In the background he can hear Nekomaru and Gundham talking but their voices are distant and fuzzy. Subconsciously he holds onto Mahiru and Nagito’s clothes closer. Pressing them into his chest. 

  Just like with Peko and Hiyoko he knocks on Mahiru's door but no one answers. Only silence remains. Just like with Peko he settles for setting the clothes down in front of the door as he turns back down the corridor. 

  There’s only one place he has left to go now then. If he’s not going to find either Mikan or Nagito in their room then he’s just going to have to go and hand deliver the clothes to them. After all who knows when the doctors are going to allow them to go back to their rooms. And he suspects they wouldn’t be happy with him bursting into their rooms to put the clothes away himself. 

  Readjusting the clothes in his arms he straightens up and begins walking out of the corridor. As soon as he passes Gundham turns around, scowling at him.

  “Where do you think you’re going?”

  He holds up the clothes for Gundham to clearly see, “I’m giving Nagito his stuff.” He explains with a sigh that comes deep from within his soul. 

  “Hmph.”

  “Since I'm heading there I can take Mikan's too if you want? It'll save you the trip.” He turns to Nekomaru as he says that. Stretching his arms out in offering.

  “That’s very kind of you!” Nekomaru flashes him a toothy grin as he rearranges the clothes to slide Mikan's over with ease. 

  “It’s fine, I couldn’t really hand my ones out in the first place anyway so it only makes sense.”

 With a passing goodbye he leaves the men alone and wanders off. The sounds of their voices still echoing in the back of his mind as he begins to (admittedly short) trek across the building. 

  As he walks he finds it hard to stop looking at the long dark green coat now in his grasp. His mind keeps adding in the pink splatters that were present last time he saw it. No matter how stupid it is, he keeps expecting to catch sight of a large hole in the back but of course there’s nothing. His mind is just adding in useless information. Trying to compartmentalise all the information inside his head. He has to swap it’s position with Mikan’s clothes, hiding it away as much as possible. 

  “Ah, you’re back Hajime.” 

  As usual they both greet him enthusiastically as he steps into the room. They’re both sat exactly the same way he left them. He wouldn’t be surprised to find out that they literally haven’t moved since then. 

  “Is the cleaning already done?” Nagito asks softly, doing his best innocent smile. 

  “Yeah, we finished a little bit ago.” He grumbles as he steps into the room, closing the door behind them. “I came to bring you these.” As he speaks he throws the stacks of clothes onto the foot of each of their beds. 

  Both of them instinctively dart forwards, frowning as they slowly piece together what they’re even looking at. It’s only after a few seconds that everything suddenly clicks in their mind. You can see the exact moment when they figure it out. The cogs in their brains hard at work. 

  As soon as she realises, Mikan shuffles forwards and gathers up the pink, white, and blue fabric in her arms, “Our clothes?!” Her hands instinctively smooth down the clothes as if she’s petting them. 

  Nagito, on the other hand, stays firmly sat in his spot. His hand doesn’t even twitch towards the stack. The clothes just stay there. An unwanted stain upon the neat white covers. 

  “Where did you find them?” 

  “Nekomaru just found them tucked away in a draw.” 

  He shrugs casually and heads back over to the couch he had slept on the night before. Almost as if mimicking Nagito’s lack of interest he throws his own clothes down on the couch at his side, not even giving them a second look. 

  But while him and Nagito are barely even looking at their old clothes, Mikan is brushing her hand over them ferociously. 

  “Do you want to change?” He asks tentatively, waiting for someone to yell at him. 

  He’s not convinced it’s even an appropriate question to ask but it’s not like she can change herself. Well, she probably could but not without the doctor somehow finding out and yelling at her. That’s probably a situation they’re going to want to avoid at all costs. Especially after yesterday…

  “Ummm, yes…maybe you sh-shouldn’t be the one h-helping though…” Although she doesn’t yell, her entire face is illuminated by her own blushing cheeks. He does his best to block out the memories of her like this from a different hospital room all together. 

  Given how she's been in the past he almost expected her to start skipping there and then but much to his relief she seems to be thinking along the same lines. The last thing they need is an awkward atmosphere in here. 

  “You have a point. When Ibuki comes I’m sure she’ll be willing to help though.”

  “Y-Yes…”

  Ibuki always comes. If they can rely on anything they can rely on that. No matter how she’s feeling she always ends up right back here. And sure enough within the hour she’s happily humming in the room, sat on the bed in her old clothes, helping Mikan tie the apron around her. 

  Only Nagito and Hajime remain, still dressed in plain white and black. 

~~~

17/05 - 15:45

  Silence spans across the room. All fifteen of them are sat here and yet somehow it’s quieter than ever before. Only the stilted sound of people breathing and the soft clinking of Sonia stirring her tea are audible. 

  All of them are sat around the table in the middle of the room, forced into close proximity. Somehow Hajime ended up being sat in the middle of the table, Nagito and Kazuichi either side of him as usual.

  Akane is opposite him, her feet pulled up to rest on the table without a care in the world. At first Nekomaru had done his best to try to knock them off but after a while he just had to give up. They’ll just need to remember to clean the table before eating on here next. 

  While the rest of them came to the silent consensus that doesn’t stop Sonia wincing from Akane’s other side. Even Gundham is doing his best to not look that direction, focusing on the small tea cup Sonia had forced into his hand. 

  Remembering the issues they’d had just a few days ago, Ibuki and Mikan had strategically placed themselves at one end of the table with Fuyuhiko and Peko, keeping Mahiru and Hiyoko as far away as is possible given the limited space. His hopes for it making any difference are low but at least it’s something. But even with that distance, the tension burns through the room. 

  It certainly doesn’t help that Byakuya and Teruteru are seated practically to next each other right in front of Mahiru and Hiyoko - only a single empty seat separating them. Hajime had practically had to bust down Teruteru’s door to get him out here and he had instantly take a seat closest to the corridor of bedrooms. As physically close to his room as possible.

  The entire time he's been here his head has been resting on the table. Hair flopping into his face and covering it from the world. When Byakuya casually took a seat by Teruteru he had half expected the man to sit up and freak out but he hadn’t moved an inch. It does make him wonder if he’s even aware that Byakuya is there. He certainly hasn’t looked at them if nothing else. 

  “Why’re we all here?” Akane groans and taps her foot casually on the table. 

  Kazuichi is the one to jump in to explain, “It’s a meeting, we can’t do it without everyone here.”

  It hadn’t exactly been his idea. At least not entirely. Of course a meeting was necessary if they’re going to try and make any of this work but he had raised the idea more as an abstract concept. Apparently Kazuichi hadn’t take it that way. 

  However, right here and now it doesn’t feel like such a good idea. They’re all just walking on egg shells as Hiyoko huffs at one side of the room, her arms tightly folded and her glare cutting through the wall she’s staring at. While Mahiru isn’t looking quite as viscous, her jaw is still clenched as she looks down at the table in front of her.  

  “Can we just get on with it?” Mahiru hisses through gritted teeth. For a moment her gaze flickers over to Hiyoko, quickly checking her over before going back to staring at the table. 

  Sighing deeply at the sight around him he finally opens his mouth to speak. “I know people don’t want to be here-” 

  “Understatement.” Fuyuhiko mutters under his breath. Hajime can’t see his face from this angle but it’s not difficult to imagine exactly how it looks right now. 

  “- but,” He leans forward to glare over at Fuyuhiko, “we need to discuss what people want to do from now on.” 

  A soft murmuring breaks out around the room with those words. They’re all just quiet enough to make it impossible to clearly make out what they’re saying but not quiet enough that it doesn’t ripple around the room annoyingly. 

  Only Nekomaru raises his voice as he folds his arms, “What do you mean?” 

  “I don’t know how much everyone knows so I’m going to lay out everything as clear as possible: the future foundation is still out there and they want us dead. Naegi, Kirigiri and Togami left days ago to try and delay them but we haven’t heard from them since.”

  He dreads every word that leaves his mouth. It’s not like his friends are stupid. They must be well aware that the future foundation isn’t exactly their fans - even if they hadn’t been told the entire situation. But being aware of the likelihood and being told someone wants you dead is different. The word are barely out and he can already feel the swelling of tension gather around the air. 

  Voices call out over each other. The murmuring before has ascended into outright chatter which drowns out everything else in the room. 

  “The future foundation….of course.”

  “We ain’t got time for them!”

  “Do you think the future foundation got to them?” 

  “The cursed cloud of such a fate does not pass easily.” 

  “I knew they were gonna get themselves killed.”

  “If they’re gone then we really are alone in this.” 

  He can just about make out some of the conversations burning around him. Every word feels like a poker jabbed into his brain. Searing. They all might as well be allergic to letting each other speak. They have to be the next one opening their mouths. It’s only when he slams his fist down on the table, that they all shut up for a moment. Each of them staring wide eyed. Waiting for him. 

  For a few seconds he holds the silence, regarding each of them in turn. At this point it feels like there’s nothing he can say to stop the panic. The desperation. He can’t blame them but that doesn’t make his head burn any less. If only they weren’t so…predictable. 

  When he does open his mouth to speak, he keeps his tone measured and calm. Soothing. Or at least as soothing as he’s able to muster, “Well, we don’t know for sure that something has gone wrong. They promised to let us know if something went wrong.” 

  “That doesn’t seem like something they can promise.” Folding her arms, Peko looks up at him through her thin glasses. Everything about her expression is sharp. Cold. Determined. 

  He holds out his arms like he’s fending off wild animals, not calming down his panicked friends, “Look, it’s possible - I’m not saying it isn’t. But we need to prepare for both cases.”

  He would be stupid to not even consider the idea. It’s not like he hadn’t questioned Naegi’s logic when he left. Chances are they’ll get no warning when the future foundation does come. They aren’t that kind of lucky. But right now they don’t need his honest feelings. They need something calm and reasonable. He can be calm and reasonable. 

  Unfortunately based on the growling of Hiyoko, not everyone agrees, “What are you suggesting then?” 

  She’s still not even looking his way but he can feel her gaze. She might as well be directly spitting in his face. 

  “We need to decide if we’re staying here or if we’re preparing to leave.”

  As expected another ripple moves through the room with their words. There’s no way he was the only one considering leaving but actually saying it aloud is like ripping off the band aid. Exposing the fleshy bleeding wound sitting below. 

  “L-Leave…?” Mikan’s bottom lip wobbles as she not-so-sneakily reaches under the table to grab onto Ibuki.

  She might have been successful at hiding her movements if Ibuki hadn’t almost leapt out of her skin at the sudden movement. However, as usual, she recovers in a split second, giving Mikan a reassuring smile. 

  At his side Nagito finally sits up straight, tilting his head to one side. A single finger reaches up to rest on his chin as he hums softly, “Hmmm, if we were leaving where would we go?” 

  “I have no idea.”

  “Ughhhh! That seems bad!” Ibuki releases Mikan’s hand at once, yanking on her hair dramatically. 

  “I agree with Ibuki. There are not many places we are free to go to. And even less where we will not be recognised and found by people or the future foundation.”

  Honestly, there aren’t many places left for them - if there are any at all. While working for Junko he was able to see a good portion of the world and it was equally shit no matter where he went. Even if it all began in Japan with the help of them no where was safe. War. Trauma. Terrorism. They fucked up any possible safe haven. If they did choose to leave where could he even lead them to? They really dug their own graves during the last few years. Karma is a bitch. 

  Ever calm and collected, Byakuya leans forward. Their hands press onto the table, creating a commanding presence as they leans towards everyone, “But if we stay we are sitting ducks for the future foundation.” 

  “It’s not like they’ve found us so far though…” Kazuichi offers up meekly but it wouldn’t be enough to convince even Mikan. If anything it might actually do the opposite. 

  “How long will that last for?” Byakuya shakes their head disapprovingly which only makes a pink blush crawl up Kazuichi’s cheeks. 

  “If we step out into the open it will draw their attention though.” 

  They both freeze, eyes locking and bodies tensed. Neither one of them is ready to back down. Each waiting for the other to take the first step. He knows who he would be betting on though. 

  Slowly Mikan looks around the room. Even her head is stuttering as she moves, her lip still trembling weakly. Her nails painfully pull at each other as she begins stuttering once again, “B-But Naegi-i and the…the others told us t-to stay, r-right?” 

  And that is the last straw that breaks the camels back. 

  BANG.

  A sudden smack thunders through the room. 

  Each and every one of them slowly twists to face the other end of the room as Hiyoko stands there. Her hands are curled into fists, her knuckles pressed against the smooth surface. The long fabric sleeves of her kimono droop down her arms and pool around her hands, almost completely hiding them from view. 

  “What's your point?” Hiyoko hisses, face seething red. Not one of them dares say a word. The memory of what happened last time is still a little too fresh. His heart thunders in his chest, every muscle ready to react at a moments notice. 

  If Mikan had been shaking before then she might as well be in an earthquake now. He had no idea it was even possible for someone to vibrate that much. At a moments notice her eyes are already swimming with heavy tears. Her own shaking body betrays her, knocking the tears free to let them tumble down her cheeks and onto the table below. 

  “Eeek! I-I just mean-n that we need to trust th-them.” 

  He’s already wincing before she’s even finished speaking. 

  “That’s the dumbest dog shit answer I have ever heard.” 

  “Hiyoko.” Mahiru does her best to step in, reaching over to gently tug on Hiyoko’s sleeve like she had done last time but the woman doesn’t react at all. She doesn’t flinch, or knock her aside, or even look her way. Only one person exists in her vision. 

  “It’s true! They’re useless! We can’t do anything to look after ourselves here.” She doesn’t bother trying to hide the tears welling up in her eyes. 

  Logically he knows her and Mikan couldn’t look more different. Sure, they’re closer in height now but their hair, eyes, skin, face, clothing, everything is completely different. And yet they look like perfect mirrors of each other right now. Down to the very last detail. He somehow doubts Hiyoko would appreciate hearing that though.  

  Realistically there is no way the air in the room has actually gotten hotter but he can’t shake the feeling anyway. Hiyoko’s mere presence is setting the air around them ablaze. Anger seeping off of her into the atmosphere. 

  Someone needs to intervene. If they don’t this is only going to get worse and worse.

  But before he gets the chance to do anything, the sound of Gundham chuckling cuts off his thoughts. His entire body relaxed and casual despite to the scene before them, “However it is not as if we have much more power out there. We would be leaving our fortress to wander into the enemies kingdom. Is that what you want Hiyoko?”

  “Shut up! Byakuya is right, we’re sitting ducks here. We’d just be waiting to die.” Hiyoko is addressing them all but even now she can’t take her eyes off of Mikan. Every word is spat towards Mikan with all the malice Hiyoko can muster, “Unless that’s what you want.”

  With every word Mikan grows smaller and smaller. It’s like she’s trying to curl into a ball while still remaining in her chair. Her legs slowly coming up onto the chair so she can full curl in on herself. Bit by bit her chair is shuffling back as if those extra few centimeters are somehow going to shield her. 

  They can all see her shaking, the entire chair might as well be vibrating with her but they sit frozen. Lumps burning in their throats. Hajime could swear there’s a high pitch ringing echoing through the room but no one else seems to be reacting to it. No matter how loud it, he appears to be the only one hearing it. 

  The only person to stand up is Ibuki. Her hands are shaking but she’s still smiling as brightly as ever. But instead of forming a wall between Hiyoko and Mikan she runs over to the counter top to fetch Sonia’s teapot and a selection of cups. If anyone couldn’t tell her hands were shaking earlier then they would certainly be able to tell now as the cups hanging off her fingers clatter together, the sharp and shining sound of the china clinking burning heavily in the air. 

  “Ibuki thinks that maybe we could all do with a tea break.” 

  She sets out the small selection of cups out in a circle around the tea pot and begins gently tipping a little bit of tea in each one. As she does so the spout of tea shakes and wobbles but only a few small splatters end up on the table cloth. 

  “Hiyoko? Mahiru? Byakuya? Hajime? Peko?” She looks around at them each in turn as she calls their name. It’s as if trying to search for someone, anyone, who will save her from the moment. Only him and Byakuya reach forward and take a cup though. 

  It’s not that he wants tea - actually quite the opposite right now - but Ibuki deserves this from him at the very least. However based on how heavy the air is around them still he is starting to think this isn’t really helping the situation either. Instead he tries to look around the table for anything at all that can change the topic. 

  And as he looks, his eyes find Teruteru who is still laying with his face in his arms, “What do you think Teruteru?”

  As if he’s been shocked with electricity he sits up, jumping out of his skin. His eyes are completely red and his skin is blotchy and red in patches which only adds to the unkempt look. Not to mention the feral way in which his eyes dart around the room desperately. 

  “Huh? What do you mean?” 

  Hajime clears his throat, suddenly feeling warm ripple down his neck. Okay, maybe picking on Teruteru of all people wasn’t the best call. Everyone around the room - with the exception of Mikan who is still a ball in her chair - is staring at him like he’s lost his mind. 

  “We’re all sharing what we feel. Do you want to stay here or leave?”

  “I…” Teruteru’s eyes finally stop moving, settling on staring down at his own hands, “I don’t know. I don’t care.” Waves of dejection roll off of him. Exhaustion personified. 

  When his head finally drops back into his arms there is nothing left. None of them even try to stop him. What could they do? It feels impossible to connect this person he’s seeing now with the lively person he had known both in the program and real life. They might as well be entirely different people and he’s not sure how he’s supposed to handle this new person in the midst of them.

  Apparently he isn’t the only one. 

  “This ain’t goin’ well…” Akane tries to mumble under her breath but with no one else speaking it might as well be a shout. The words ring sharply through the room, stabbing into each and every one of them. Teruteru only buries himself deeper thought. As if he could drown out her words if he just sank far enough. 

  Clapping her hands, Sonia is the next one to make any attempts to break the tension in the room. 

  “I know, how about we all raise our hands if we would like to remain here for the time being.”

  She suggests it with such enthusiasm but that excitement doesn’t extend beyond herself. Nevertheless none of them have any better ideas. With nothing else to work with they reluctantly follow along, raising their hands.

  Most of them anyway. 

  Either side of him Nagito and Kazuichi hold their hands high but while Nagito still sits tall, sneakily taking a cup of tea for himself, Kazuichi drop his head as much as possible. Both his eyes screw tightly closed as he tries to bury his face in his neck. 

  Across from them Sonia, Gundham, Nekomaru and Akane all lift their hands - not to mention Ibuki with her hand raised while the other grabs Mikan’s wrist, holding her hand up for her. Given the situation he doesn’t feel like that should be allowed to count but none of them dare to say a thing. At this point they’ll take what they can get.

  There’s no surprise when Teruteru, Hiyoko, and Mahiru keep their hands down. As if trying to beat her point into their heads, Hiyoko even tucks her hands under her armpits, keeping them firmly pinned down. 

  He isn’t even surprised to see Fuyuhiko and Peko sat stiffly, their hands still kept down despite the look being shot their way by Sonia and Ibuki. Byakuya though…that surprises him. 

  It’s not like he truly knows them - sometimes he wonders if anyone knows them - but he always got the feeling they had a good head on their shoulders. Reasonable. Reliable. Rational. And yet they show no intention of ever raising their hand. 

  Nevertheless they have the answer they needed. Even if some of them disagreed the will of the majority is clear. As far as they’re concerned that’s all that truly matters. 

  Clenching his jaw Nekomaru takes the reins and nods around the room, “That settles it then.” 

  “Yes, it would seem so.” Gundham mumbles, unconvinced. 

  Hajime struggles to say he disagrees. Even if they know what most people want it doesn’t exactly feel ‘settled’. Neither him nor Gundham raise their opinions though. He doubts the others truly feel like this is done, they are all feeling the same thing right now. But with everything running this hot maybe it is better to just settle the conversation for now until they get more information. 

  “I can’t believe this.” Hiyoko huffs grouchily, turning away from everyone - even Mahiru. 

  “Hiyoko this does not need to be forever.” But no matter how much Sonia tries to reassure her, the words might as well just be bouncing off of Hiyoko. He doubts that anything would be able to get through to her right now. 

  Everyone tries to be encouraging, planting the seeds of compromise, but it’s all meaningless. 

  “Yeah, we can give it a bit of time and see.” Kazuichi is, of course, ignored.

  “Yep! If something happens we can totally run still!” So is Ibuki.

  Regardless of what they try the truth still remains. They’re stopping the others from pursuing the course of action they want to. They’re keeping them trapped here. Nothing will change that. 

  Part of him almost wonders if they should just encourage everyone to just do whatever they want. But the other part of his brain is fully aware of how badly that could go. He can’t in good conscience send them out into the world alone. He’s not having more deaths on his hands. Especially not these ones. At least if they’re together he can try something to help them. Anything is better than nothing. 

  Of course none of this does anything to settle Hiyoko though, “If you really believe that then you’re dumber than I thought! We’re going to fucking die before we can do anything!” 

  As she speaks her breaths get shorter and shorter. Each one creeping into the next. Panic burning hot through her. At this rate they’re going to have another panic attack on their hands. He has to do something, anything, to defuse the situation. 

  “Hiyoko, I know how you feel but this isn’t suicide.” Hajime tries to appeal to her rationality - even if it is well and truly out of reach right now. 

  Even Nagito tries to help out and he takes a sip of his tea, “We’re just putting faith in Naegi.” 

  “Can you shut up Nagito!” Hiyoko finally turns around, snapping at Nagito. A vein is slowly bulging on her forehead. With every pulsation it feel like they’re only getting closer and closer to having everything on fire around them, “I’m not listening to this crap anymore!”

  “I get what you’re trying to say, but Hiyoko isn’t wrong.” Mahiru raises her head slowly, shifting her gaze to meet Hajime specifically. 

  She might look deflated and sucked dry but somehow she still sounds the same as ever. As certain. As determined. As firm. Always right there with Hiyoko.

  “Mahiru…” Ibuki’s shoulders deflate, her voice dropping softly. All of her energy is gone with that one word. 

  “I’m not trying to be contrarian. It’s just being realistic.” 

  Across from her Byakuya nods along, keeping their gaze firm and resolute even if it lacks Hiyoko’s burning passion and energy, “It is realistic to not put utter faith in them.” 

  He’s not sure if he can say anything to convince them. It’s not like they sat and talked with Naegi or Kirigiri. Not even Asahina and Togami. To them they might as well just be blurry figures on the horizon. The people that got them in this situation in the first place. 

  Who knows, maybe he is the one who has been corrupted. It’s not like his mind has been in the best space. Perhaps he’s insane to be relying on Naegi of all people - they all saw how he could be unreasonable in the killing game on TV. But this isn’t the time to be questioning that. 

  In the end he isn’t the one that breaks the silence though - at this point he can’t help but wonder if he’s doing anything at all. Gundham is the one to sit up, firm and resolute as ever. Some might call it stubbornness but right now he’s just relieved. 

  “You fools. You are merely acting out of a burning fear which sears through your veins. While your fear is warranted - this world has teeth bared for us - we cannot turn and submit to this fear. Waiting for sufficient knowledge before making fate altering choices is only smart.” Gundham holds his head high, practically looking down upon them all. His voice booms as loudly as ever. Reverberating through them all. 

  Somehow, despite his words, he’s speaking more sense than anyone else here. At this point he shouldn’t be surprised though. 

  However in spite of that Fuyuhiko just shakes his head, closing himself off, “Damn right it’s fear fuck face.” 

  “B-But people out th-there really don’t like us. How…how would we hide…? P-People would just hunt u-us.” Mikan’s stutter suddenly snaps everyone’s attention over to her. 

  He hadn’t even realised she had sat up. Although her legs are still up on the chair, pressed against her chest, her head is upright now. Her shoulders slightly raised. Just enough to let her examine the table tentatively. 

  But even as she speaks he can already feel everything falling apart. It’s not that he disagree with her - far from it - but he might as well be able to hear Hiyoko seething. And it only gets louder with every broken stutter. 

  “Why’s that?” Hiyoko growls and they all hold their breaths.

  “W-what do you…what do you…mean?” 

  “I mean why do people want to kill us everywhere?”

  Both of them stare into each others eyes. Even Mikan doesn’t dare look away. Tears well up in her eyes but she remains in exactly the same position. As if a single movement will set Hiyoko off. It might be a little late for that though… 

  “Sit down Hiyoko. We get it.” Akane tries to plead nonchalantly but it’s too little late. 

  “This is not a productive discussion right now.” Even Nekomaru can’t do a single thing to put out the dynamite now.

  At his side Nagito tenses, already feeling everything brewing over. Even Kazuichi back up ever so slightly, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. 

  “No! No it is!” Hiyoko shouts louder than he thought she was even capable. Around him people begin slamming their hands over their ears but Hajime remains right there, eyes flickering between Hiyoko and Mikan who are still firmly locked together, “They all want us dead because Mikan fucking stabbed us in the back! She lured us into a trapped and stole our lives from us.”

  Each word is a stab in everyone's hearts. Each and every one of the them flinches back. Even Teruteru tenses for a moment with his head still tucked away.

  The time bomb has blown. Sonia tries to soothe Hiyoko but it’s too little too late, “H-Hiyoko -”

  “No! Don’t speak! Because of you we all lost our futures and our families futures! We have to stay hidden here because of you! Chiaki is dead because of you!” Hiyoko yells each word at the top of her voice. 

  For a moment he loses sight of the room entirely. It’s all gone. The only thing that remains is Junko. He can see her arm draped over Hiyoko as she stands there yelling at them all. Junko is grinning. Or she would be. As he turns his head to look at Mikan the image is replaced by the sight of her claws digging into Mikan’s shaking body. Her shadow smothering the table. Darkness echoing off each of them. Rippling out. Growing. Seething. 

  As the entire table disappears into darkness his skin begins to burn. Hot needles sizzling across his skin. A thick fog sitting around his brain. Crushing everything. 

  All he can see now is the bright pink blood forming a puddle at his feet. A small galaga pin spattered in blood staring up at him. Chiaki’s pale hand reaching towards him before finally falling to join the rest of her in the pool of blood. 

  Mikan. Mikan. Mikan. 

  He remembers seeing her sat at the desk with Junko. Junko’s weight pressing onto her frail frame as Junko stood behind Mikan’s chair. Staring over her shoulder. Pressing herself into the other girl. 

  It wasn’t just her though. Izuru was right there, sat on the bed watching them. Mukuro was leaning against the wall, knife spinning in her hand. And in the corner of the room was…him. The blonde boy. Ryota. He was curled up exactly like Mikan is now. Rocking in the corner. Trapped. Cornered. Submitting.

  Somewhere in his mind he’s aware of the others talking. Mikan spluttering and people trying to defend her but all he can see is that moment. He had sat there watching everything. Somehow the Mikan from back then seems exactly the same as this one here and yet so different at the same time. The true dichotomy. 

  “Th-That’s not fair. It’s not Mikan’s fault alone.”

  “Junko just reached Mikan first - it could have been any of us.” 

  But it doesn’t matter how much they try to argue with Hiyoko, she’s as blind as him right now. And she’s armed with poison which she chooses to spit in everyone’s faces, “She’s a fucking crazy cow faced whore! We can’t just shove all the blame on Junko!”

  Before he’s even aware of what he’s doing his mouth is open and his brain starts speaking without him, “What do you think about me then Hiyoko?”

  Bit by bit he slowly raises his head towards her. He hadn’t even realised he had sunk into the chair. None of that matters now that. The only thing that matters is Hiyoko. 

  “Huh?”

  Taking in a rattling breath he explains again, “I wasn’t brainwashed by Junko like Mikan and you guys were.”

  Out of everyone here, he’s the only odd one out. No matter how hard Hiyoko fights to make this about everyone versus Mikan - or even Peko and Fuyuhiko - none of that is accurate. There is only one person who doesn’t fit here. Junko wasn’t the one who messed with him. She wasn’t the one that made him like this. 

  Scrambling desperately, Hiyoko leans forward over the table, her face quickly growing redder and redder. Her bottom lip trembling almost as badly as Mikan, “Are you fucking defending her after everything!” The tears that had been slowly brewing behind her eyes are now cascading. Dripping everywhere and onto everything. 

  “No. Not at all. But if you’re mad at Mikan for being the first in your class to succumb to Junko then what do you think about me? She wasn’t the first - I was. And she didn’t even need to brainwash me.”

  He half expects her to launch herself at him. To scream. To yell. To call him names. Something. Anything. Knowing Hiyoko why wouldn’t she? It’s not like they were ever close. She couldn’t care less about him. But instead she just stands there. Tears streaming. Eyes red. Bags heavy and dark. 

  He keeps waiting for an explosion that never comes. It’s like her brain has broken down. Either that or it’s been entirely overloaded. She can barely even push out more than a single stuttered word, “I-”

  And then she turns on her heel, her long ponytail whipping behind her. Even with her back turned they can see the awkward and uneven way her chest rises and falls. The stuttered way her shoulders move. But instead of breaking down at the table again she storms forwards, running towards her room. 

  None of them, not even Mahiru, move an inch until they hear the door slam closed in the distance. And even then when Mahiru does get up, she’s moving at a snails pace. Shuffling down the hall, arms drawn in around each other. All the life and energy gone. Like a zombie she just drag herself down the hall after her friend. Working on nothing more than a frail impulse that runs through her body. 

  “Is she going to be okay?” Sonia’s nails pull at each other, her half full tea completely ignored in front of her.

  Honestly, he’s not sure. He wants to say yes. That mental health can easily be fixed and one day she will be her usual self again but they would be lying to themselves. Given what they’ve seen he doubts she will ever be okay again. Certainly not while they’re all pressed up against each other in this building. 

  However, ever the motivator, Nekomaru simply replies, “Eventually she will be. For now leave her though.” 

  “Mahiru will keep an eye on her.” Kazuichi sounds more like he’s trying to convince himself than them though. Regardless, it isn’t working either way.

  A thick fog is still clinging to his mind even as he gets up. He must have moved too quickly or something because his entire mind swoops and dives uncomfortably at the motion. Everything in his body swirling painfully and throwing him off balance. He has to subtly cling onto the edge of the table to keep him from falling back over into his chair pathetically. It’s like pins and needles have spread across his entire body, making everything prickle uncomfortably. 

  “Are we okay staying here for a little bit then?” He does his best to keep his voice stable, looking out across the table as best he can with the world swimming around him. 

  Even though she had kept her hand down, Peko nods sternly, “This does seem like the most logical course…” 

  She doesn’t wait for everyone else to reply before she’s getting up, waiting for Fuyuhiko to follow her. 

  Sure enough he does get up and stalk after her but he keeps his hands in as he grumbles, “Yeah, whatever…” 

  Even with just four people gone the table feels suddenly empty. Holes filling the space. Emptiness seeping in. It doesn’t help that Teruteru might as well not be here. He’s nothing more than an empty husk sat beside them. 

  Laughing awkwardly Ibuki gives a wobbly smile, “That was a smashing success!” 

  “Clearly…” He doesn’t bother fighting the urge to roll his eyes. He knows she’s trying to joke but that does nothing to dissuade the feeling bursting in his chest. 

  “It could have gone worse.”

  It could have gone worse. Even though it’s true he hates the words with every ounce of his being. 

  It could have gone worse. 

Chapter Text

18/05 - 02:24

  Water splashes on his face as he leans over the sink. The fragile silence only broken by the sound of running water. Droplets trickle down his face but he doesn’t bother brushing them aside. 

  For the first time in days he had woken up from nightmares. Even now as he watches his own reflection he can still see Junko standing behind him. Her long red nails dragging along his throat. A single pink droplet blossoming from his left eye. Of course as soon as he was starting to get used to sleeping without nightmares this happens. 

  No matter how much water he splashes on his face, the images won’t leave. The only thing he can do is tear his eyes away from the mirror. Away from his glowing red eyes.

 But even then he can still feel her long nails brushing against him. Her shadow is wrapped tightly around him regardless of what he does. Even when he sits back on his bed, knees drawn up to his chest, he can feel her weight on top of him. Pressing down. Always on top. 

  At some point his mind just goes numb. Drifting off. The heaviness slowly turns into a fuzzy fog which settles over him. He can’t feel whats happening to his body but he also can’t feel Junko over him so he’ll take what he can get. Beggars can’t be choosers. 

  However it means he doesn’t even realise he’s gotten up and walked off until he’s fully left his room and the entire communal area. The first thing he hears is the sharp ringing of struck metal. Hollow and clear in the darkness. Like an alarm bell cutting through the night, he suddenly snaps awake. Instead of staring at his own dark bedroom wall, he’s looking into an all too familiar room. The green glow is the only thing providing any light. 

  He’s not alone though. A shock of pink hair is laying on the ground, pulling at one of the machines. A mess of wires and metal fragments are sticking out from the side of the chamber. They already hadn’t been in the best condition after all the alterations to wake the others but this looks more like someone had take a sledgehammer to it. Metal fragments have already been pulled free and are now stacked next to Kazuichi. 

  Bit by bit Hajime moves closer. Although he’s not trying to be quiet, Kazuichi shows no acknowledgement of Hajime’s presence. Quite the opposite. As he lays their, hair roughly tied up into a mess bun, he hums to himself. His hands deftly pull at the machine, quickly and efficiently pulling free different parts. 

  “Kazuichi?” He calls out as he gets closer, making sure to give Kazuichi as much space as possible, “What are you doing?” 

  Apparently no amount of space would have been enough though. As soon as Hajime speaks Kazuichi jumps, his head slamming into the chamber unceremoniously. Eyes wide and frantic. 

  As he sits up, slower this time, he gingerly rubs at his forehead. Nothing can distract from the way his cheeks are alight with a bright pink glow though. It only stands out more now that he’s back in his signature yellow boiler suit, oil already staining the fabric again. 

  “Ummmm…” He looks around the room desperately, searching for anything he can make a lie out of before finally sighing and giving up, “Okay, fine. I’m getting stuff to make the arm for Nagito.”

  “I almost forgot about that.”

  God, it feels so long ago even though it was only just a few days ago. He’s not sure how the suggestion could have slipped his mind. Maybe he just didn’t take Kazuichi seriously that he would really want to make it - it’s not like him and Nagito got on particularly well in the Neo World Program.

  He probably shouldn’t hold all their relationships to the level they were in the program but it’s hard not to when there isn’t much else to go on. Even more so when the memories feel so fresh and raw in his mind. 

  “What are you doing here?”

  He shakes his head, trying to focus on Kazuichi. The man is watching him through narrowed eyes, looking at him like he’s completely lost his mind. Maybe that’s not actually that far off. Perhaps his brain might have wandered off a little too much…

  He tries to wrack his brain to answer the question but he has no idea. It’s not like he consciously chose to come here. In spite of that he can’t exactly just tell Kazuichi that he was just wandering around to outrun his nightmares. If he’s already looking at Hajime like this then he hates to imagine the look he would give if he knew what Hajime was dreaming about. Although he doubts anyone in this place is having nice dreams. 

  “Just…acting on impulse I guess.” He shrugs nonchalantly, praying it comes across properly. 

  Apparently it’s effective enough as Kazuichi sighs, letting his shoulders sink. Shaking his head Kazuichi lifts a hand and points over at a small stack of tools to the side.

  “Grab a wrench and help me.”

  For a split second he considers turning him down to go back to his room but then he comes to his senses. What would be the point of going back? He came all the way out here to try and get away from Junko and her shadow. If Kazuichi is offering to help him distract himself then who is he to refuse. 

  He doesn’t verbally respond but he heads over to the tools and grabs the wrench before heading over. Kazuichi silently shuffles to the side, brushing aside his salvaged materials to make a little space for Hajime right at his side. Mimicking Kazuichi, he lays down on the floor, holding himself up by his elbows. A shot of fuzziness passes through him every time their arms brush together in the tight space but he simply bites his tongue every time it happens. The short shot of pain grounding his mind again.

  Hajime stays silent as they work, merely following Kazuichi’s short explanations. Neither of them explain why they’re here doing this in the middle of the night. They just sit comfortably in each others presence. Breaking down the pieces of the machine bit by bit until there is barely more than a frame left. And then they move onto the next one. 

  It’s not just wires, screws and cogs he’s pulling out. Metal panelings and scraps are also added to the pile. He supposes it makes sense, the actual arm needs to be made of something after all. Nevertheless the pile seems never ending. Just when he thinks they have enough materials they pull out another fistful of wires. 

  By the time they step back from the machines they have entirely wrecked two - almost three - machines. In the back of his mind he wonders what Naegi and the others are going to say about all this. Sure, they probably don’t want to use the Neo World Program again any time soon but even an idiot would know these must have cost a small fortune to make. And now they’re a pile of scrap parts on the floor. 

  Between them they have to make two trips to and from Kazuichi’s room, their arms full of materials. While he does consider grabbing a bag or something by the time they’ve made the first trip it doesn’t feel like much more effort to just make the second trip. Besides, there’s something quite calming about carrying everything around like this. Walking through the empty halls without anyone around in the dead of night.

  He half expects Kazuichi to shoo him off after everything has been brought over but he doesn’t even bother asking Hajime if he wants to stay before he’s beckoning him over. He brushes a few pieces aside, making a small island on the floor for Hajime just like the one he has for himself. 

  He’s not sure how a room can look so different while also looking exactly the same at the same time. Grease and parts have formed a sea around the bed that completely dwarfs the selection of parts he had had last time Hajime saw inside this room. Electronics wrecked and taken apart everywhere. There’s even a large number of pencils a big box of paper thrown unceremoniously across the bed. He had no idea a room could even get this messy and yet it somehow still feels the same as ever.  

  But in spite of the messiness he stumbles forward and takes the spot carved out for him. He’s not going to turn it down when it’s been so lovingly prepared. Thankfully this time the spot is far enough away that his personal space bubble is maintained even as they work. It’s hard to tell if that was done consciously by Kazuichi or not. 

  Before Kazuichi had only spoken in short sharp instructions but now it’s like the door has been opened. Any promise of silence has been utterly destroyed. Hajime does his best to listen to everything but sometimes it feels more like an uninterrupted train of thought than anything else as he explains all of his plans.

 Kazuichi would probably kill him if he ever said it out loud but it’s somewhat cute seeing his eyes sparkle as he shows off his DIY soldering iron made with a stacks of pencils and some circuitry. Listening to his babbling about all his plans for the arm somehow feels light. All thoughts about his nightmares and Junko melt away. All that is left is Kazuichi and this stupid moment.

~~~

18/05 - 10:29

  Hours pass as they work together, slowly piecing together the beginnings of the arm. But even with how long they’ve been working it feels like no progress has been made. Hours sat here, basically in the darkness, and they have a single finger to show for themselves. Not even the machinery behind the finger - just the outer metal frame. 

  Neither of them are ready to take a break though. They’re both deep in the zone, determined to make any progress. However that flow is broken by a firm knock on the bedroom door. 

  “Oi! Haji get out ‘ere.” Akane’s drawl is clearly recognisable even through the thick door. 

  Haji? God, Ibuki better not be spreading that across everyone. Sure he might have said he was fine with being called Hajime but he never would have agreed if he knew this was what it would come to… 

  Kazuichi is the first one to lower his soldering iron, looking up at Hajime with a furrow brow as if somehow Hajime knows whats going on. Sometimes he doubts anyone knows what Akane is doing. 

  “Huh? How does she know you’re here?”

  “No idea…” He shrugs with a sigh, setting down his tools, “Are you okay here without me?”

  As much as he doesn’t want to leave this behind to deal with whatever Akane is here about, he probably doesn’t have much of a choice. Sitting here isn’t going to be enough to make her walk away. Besides, there is the off chance it’s actually something important - although who know why she needs to come to him of all people. Isn’t there anyone else who can deal with issues. What about Sonia or Byakuya? Surely they’re more equipped to handle whatever this is. 

  Unfortunately instead of encouraging him to stay Kazuichi just nods happily, “Sure, I didn’t plan for your help originally. Its probably important anyway.”

  It better be important. 

  But despite his internal complaints he gets up without a fuss and heads over. Moving as quickly as he can, he pulls open the door and slips by quick enough to seal the door up behind him before too much of the room can be seen. While Akane tries to lean forwards to peer through the crack, he’s quick enough that she barely gets more than a glimpse before the door is tightly closed again.

  She frowns at him suspiciously but he just sighs, pulling on the cuffs of his sleeve nonchalantly.   

  “It’s Hajime, you know.”

  “Eh, whatever. Haji sounds cuter.” She shrugs like it’s the most normal thing in the world.

  Is this how names catch on? If so then he’s going to do everything in his power to stop this one. Maybe if it was actually nice it would be fine but it sounds awful. He’s going to make Ibuki pay for this. Giving a nickname to him of all people… Hasn’t he already got enough names for one person?

  Trying to distract himself he crosses his arms and begins grilling Akane, “Why did you call me out here?”

  “Oh, one of the doctors needs ya.” The way she says it makes it almost sound like and after though. And yet the shot of adrenaline hits him like a truck, running rampant through every inch of his body. 

  Mikan and Nagito! 

  Did something happen when he left them?! 

  He knew he shouldn’t have left Ibuki watching them for the night! 

  He shouldn’t have left them.

  But then, as if his brain is finally turning on, he starts to look over Akane. Her casual posture. The lack of urgency in her voice or words. Was he over thinking? Surely if something had happened with Mikan or Nagito she would be a little more determined. Probably… Honestly the more he thinks, the less sure he is about any of this.

  “And you came to Kazuichi’s room because…”

  “I checked your room first and I checked with Nagito and Mikan.” He breathes a sigh of relief. They’re okay…they’re okay. A mischievous glint lights up her eyes and she leans in close to whisper to him, “You two are workin’ on somethin’ right? I saw both of ya breakin’ up the machine earlier.”

  She was there?! God, he’s gotten too rusty since waking up. How could he have fallen so far that Akane is able to spy on him when he’s not looking? Part of him wants to instantly jump to blaming the Neo World Program for ruining him but after this morning it wouldn’t really be fair… He’s just a faulty product at this point. Barely even able to do the minimum.

  Sighing dejectedly he takes a subtle step back from Akane, pushing himself up against the door. 

  “Yeah, we are. Don’t tell Nagito though. We’re making a surprise prosthetic arm for him so it needs to stay a secret.” 

  He gives up without much of a fight. It’s not like it has to be a secret. Even if Nagito found out it wouldn’t be much of a problem. But while Akane might not always be the most forward thinking or logical he can probably trust her to keep a secret if nothing else. Maybe he is expecting too much from her but it would probably be even more likely to get out if he didn’t tell her. 

  “Don’t worry, Haji! You’re secrets safe with me!” She winks at him playfully, repeating the damn name again. 

  “I hate that name…”

  “Too bad. The doctors are downstairs in that livin’ room area. They’re waitin’ for ya.” 

  Being as forceful as ever she grips his shoulders, forcibly twisting him in the right direction and marching him along at her own pace. He can’t help but feel like he’s being kept prisoner. Marched along to the beat of someone else’s drum. He could fight back but he gives up, relenting to her stubbornness. If he’s needed then he probably should go with her. There’s no point in fighting back. 

  Only when they reach the stairwell does Akane finally release her hold on him as she shoves him through the doorway. With a cheeky smile and playful wave she stands in the doorway, watching him leave. Rolling his eyes he looks back at her one last time before he heads down into whatever is waiting. 

  “Thanks Akane.”

  And then she’s gone from view.

  He’s all alone as he wanders down into the darkness below. No one had bothered getting some decent lighting for this, huh? It feels strange to think about meeting with the doctors outside of the actual medical area. It would be stupid to think they only ever live in those examination rooms but that doesn’t make actually meeting with them in a neutral area any less uncomfortable. It’s easier to just pretend he’ll never have to see them if he stays away from medical centers. 

  He’s not sure what he’s expecting as he approaches the communal area. Maybe a group of them all crowded around, ready to cart him off somewhere. Maybe the future foundation trying to lure them all out. Maybe just another surprise medical examination. 

  But he certainly isn’t expecting a single doctor, sat on the couch with a phone sat awkwardly on the coffee table in front of him. It’s not the doctor he’s used to seeing carting Mikan, Nagito, and Fuyuhiko about and it’s not the doctor that had done all their examinations after everyone woke up but he does recognise the man. He had been one of the people in the surgery rooms. They had never spoken but at least he’s a familiar face if nothing else. 

  Still Hajime doesn’t dare move forward. He remains firmly by the doorway, keeping the doctor in full view at all times. 

  “Hello? I heard you needed me.” He calls out, clenching his jaw and hardening his gaze. 

  “Ah yes. Izuru Kamukura, right?”

  “Yeah. What’s this about?”

  And then the doctor says the last thing Hajime had been expecting to hear, “Makoto Naegi asked to be put through to you.”

  “Naegi? He’s in contact?” 

  Is he secretly watching them or something? The timing after their meeting yesterday almost feels too convenient. Just when they start seriously discussing if they need to leave this happens. Of course it’s good to hear that he’s not vanished off the face of the earth but the suspicion is impossible to ignore. 

  “Yes, are you going to question everything I say?”

  He doesn’t bother holding back his scowl. It’s not like he can’t understand the view of this guy and his coworkers but their attitude doesn’t make them any more likable. If they’re going to treat him like this then he’s not putting in the effort for them either. 

  Holding out a hand he grimaces, “Look, just give me the phone. And can I get some privacy?” 

  He half expects the guy to just ignore him and demand to be present but instead he gets up and forcibly presses the phone into Hajime’s hand. Hajime doesn’t even need to twist his arm before he’s stalked out of the room, closing the door behind him. 

  Hmmm…that was…easy? 

  Nevertheless he shakes his head and brings the receiver up to his ear, “Naegi?”

  For a few seconds it’s just silent crackling but then a familiar voice echoes into the receiver.

  “Ah, you’re here. I was getting worried we wouldn’t have time to talk.” Even with the crackle of the machine distorting his voice he sounds as chipper as ever. Unmistakably Naegi. Even just that small chunk of familiarity is somewhat comforting. 

  “Sorry, I was just busy working on something so it took a few minutes for them to pass the message onto me.”

  “That’s okay.”

  “Is everything going okay?” He asks, the knot in his stomach growing minute by minute. 

  With Naegi being the way he is it’s impossible to tell what sort of news this is going to be. Logically his mind tells him it has to be good - after all he sounds so happy and isn’t in a rush to give information. But then again given who he’s talking to he can’t use that kind of logic. His hope could keep him sounding positive even if the situation wasn’t great. 

  “Ummmm…yeah.” The uncertain words certainly don’t dissuade his fears, “I guess so. The future foundation still haven’t caught up with me yet. Kyoko and Byakuya have already headed back to them to meet with Hina and Hiro.”

  “Are they all okay?”

  He’s not sure if he even wants to know. It’s not like he likes them - he barely knows them after all. They’re not the sorts of people that could be friends with someone like him. And yet it’s impossible to feel completely apathetic with people like them. Kirigiri had done more than she needed to for someone like him and she isn’t even insanely illogical like Naegi. Not to mention the kindness Asahina had treated him with - even in spite of knowing who he was. 

  “I don’t really know… They can’t contact me at the moment so it’s been radio silence. I believe in them though. They’re smart and resourceful so they’ll be able to look after themselves.”

  Believe… It’s the same damn thing he had told everyone else yesterday. These things are out of their power so they do their best to make themselves feel better by relying on belief. Tricking themselves. And yet he has nothing else to offer. If nothing else at least they have Togami and Kirigiri. If anyone is able to successfully handle the future foundation then it would be them. 

  “That’s good then.”

  Awkwardly clearing his throat, Naegi quickly changes the topic. Hajime could swear he can hear the other by shuffling about slowly even through the low quality receiver, “How are things going with you though? I hope you’ve had more luck than us.”

  “We were able to wake everyone up without any issues.”

  He sticks strictly to the facts. Even if things are feeling like they’re falling apart they have successfully woken them up if nothing else. That has to count for something. Maybe they have been too focused on the negativity of the things that have been going wrong without giving enough weight to the miracle they did manage. 

  “That’s great news! They’re all doing okay then?”

  Okay? He holds back a snort. Now that’s a loaded question. 

  “Yes, mostly. A few of them needed surgery but they’ve not had issues with recovery yet. The doctors are keeping them cooped up in the patient room.”

  He’s honestly not sure how much he has been kept informed by the doctors. Based on his reactions so far it feels like they’ve all been completely in the dark but even then that’s hard to believe. If nothing else he surely remembers the state those some of them have been and he’s smart enough to piece together what surgeries must have been needed. 

  “I see…”

  “But…” He takes a heavy breath. Is he really going to say this? No, he has to. He can trust Naegi so he should be completely transparent. Who knows, maybe he’ll be able to help somehow. Bracing himself he continues, “But… I am a little worried about their mental health. We’ve been doing what we can to try and unite everyone but tensions are just running a little high.”

  “That’s understandable given everything.”

  “I’m worried it’s just going to get worse though as time goes on. A few of them have already shown that they want to leave this place.”

  This entire place might as well just be a powder keg ready to blow. He’s not sure when it’s going to happen but at some point a spark is going to land that he can’t put out. And then…

  “You can’t let them leave!” Naegi practically shouts down the receiver. Desperation etched into every part of his voice. 

  “What do you think I’m doing?” He hisses through clenched teeth, his hand curling into a fist at his side. 

  “I’ll do everything I can but I can’t hide you guys if you wander out into the world.”

  “You think I don’t know that?” He snaps a little too forcefully. It’s only when he hears he sharp silence on the other end that he takes a deep breath, trying to reset, “Look, how long do you need us here for? If I have something I can tell them then maybe it will settle them.”

  “I…I don’t know. It’s impossible to be sure.”

  “I doubt that’s going to make them feel better.” He rolls his eyes. 

  He can only imagine how the others would take it if they knew there’s no end in sight. Locked up in here unable to do anything to protect themselves for the rest of their lives. No, he needs something else to give them. Anything else. Something that can make a difference. 

  “Look, the ultimate therapist is in the future foundation at the moment. I will see if I can get her on side and send her over to you. But for now just let them know we’re in contact and things are going well so far.”

  He wants to laugh. The ultimate therapist just waltzing in…that would definitely go well. Even if Naegi could pull it off without getting the future foundation raining down on them it would be like pulling teeth to get anyone to open up the the ultimate therapist of all people. No matter how good she is as a therapist. 

  He doesn’t say anything of that though. Not right now. There are a lot more bridges they need to cross before they even get there. 

  “Fine, fine… Is there anything -?”

  He never get the chance to finish his question though. From the other side of the phone he can hear a loud horn blaring. Any thoughts he had had before are shattered. He has to move his head away from the phone to protect his ears so he can only imagine how Naegi is right now. 

  As soon as Naegi starts speaking again he is practically tripping over his own words. Each one shot out like a bullet from a machine gun, “Sorry, I need to get going now. You’re all doing great though so just try to hold strong. Hopefully we’ll be able to find a more permanent solution soon…” 

  “…Okay…”

  A pause. Silence. And then… 

  “And Kamukura…”

  “Yes?”

  “You can call me Makoto.”

  And with that Makoto hangs up and Hajime is left alone in the living room. 

Chapter Text

  “Hajimeeee!” A voice calls out to him. It’s soft and melodious. More of a sing-song than an actual voice. A lullaby beckoning him close. 

  “Hajime!” He could swear he recognises that voice from somewhere… “Hajime.”

  His brain is covered in a thick fog. No matter how much he tries to pry open his eyes, he can’t. It’s like his body refuses to follow his mind. They’ve been severed from one another. Strings cut off of him. 

  He’s trapped there, unable to move as a soft warm hand interlocks with his own. For a moment he is certain it’s Junko. Who else would it be? But the hand is missing her sharp nails. It isn’t manicured. It isn’t perfect and cold, it’s soft and warm. The skin of the finger tips is slightly smoother than the rest. Nails are neatly cut back to the bed. 

  Without his consent, his hand curls around the hand. Completely encasing it. Protecting it. Squeezing onto it. 

  “Hajime play this with me!” 

  The hand pulls away from him and he chases after it for a moment before a cool controller is shoved into his hands instead. Laughter echos around him, emanating from the soft voice which is still just out of reach. 

  His hands move on their own, gliding over the controls with ease. Not even thinking twice before every motion. It feels so easy. So natural. So normal. 

  “You’re going to win, as usual.” His own voice interrupts. Somehow his voice sounds different. Gentler. Happier. Almost as warm as the other one. Yet there’s still no doubt it’s his own voice. 

  “You never know.”

  “I think we both know you’re going to win.”

  “But it’s not about winning. It’s about having fun!” The voice takes on a playful tone, practically giggling to itself. 

  With every word spoke he feels like he recognises the voice more and more. Yet no matter how much he thinks, its always just out of reach. Right there but too far for him to put his finger on it. 

  “Okay, okay, okay…”

  Laughter shatters through him. Echoing up his chest. Filling his heart. His body. His mind. Everything.

  Sure he might not be able to control his body or anything else but he feels lighter now than he ever has before. Like he’s floating in an endless void. His stomach does cartwheels as he free floats but that doesn’t stop him smiling.

  Finally he manages to pry open his eyes but as soon as he does the warm feeling is shattered. The soft laughter immediately dissipates. The controller he had been holding is no longer there. He’s left holding nothing. Standing alone.

  Not quite alone.

  Cold sharp hands run along his shoulders. Tight fingers digging into his trapezium. Practically cutting into his skin.

  Even though his eyes are open he’s just staring into a dark and empty room. There’s no furniture. No decorations. No paint on the walls. Just dingy gray as far as the eye can see. 

  “Izuruuuuu.” Poison drips into his ear, sending goosebumps all the way down his spine, “Come with me Izuuuuu.” 

  A weight drops onto his back, soft and viscous lips pressed up to his ear. Sharp roaming hands slithering across his body. The pressing weight of her body pushing harshly into his back. Her face is hidden behind him so he can’t quite see her but he can see her thick blonde hair draping over him. Tumbling over his shoulder and trickling down past his chest. 

  And then he snaps awake. 

~~~

19/05 - 01:02

  At first he’s not sure what wakes him up. Everything seems still and silent. Nothing out of place. Yet he’s awake. Was it the nightmare? But his heart feels strangely steady this time. No thundering in his ears. No sweat soaked sheets.

  Laying there he tries to focus on his dream before it disappears. Clinging onto the last memories of it. In the past he had thought the idea of a dream journal was stupid but right here and now he’s starting to see the appeal.

  He’s so caught up in his own thoughts he doesn’t even notice the soft calling coming from the door at first. It’s so quiet you could easily mistake it for a breeze brushing the door. Cautiously he drags himself out of bed, creeping closer and closer to the door. All the while he focuses all his attention on the sound, straining his ears to be sure he’s actually hearing something. 

  “H-Hajime…” The voice is joined by a gentle tapping on the door, “Hajime…are you awake…? Hajime.” It’s so quiet he can’t actually make out who it is. Barely a breath. 

  Straightening out and rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand, he pulls open the door to examine who’s on the other side. He’s expecting Sonia or Ibuki or Fuyuhiko. Maybe even Mikan or Akane. But instead he sees none other than Hiyoko. Her kimono is hanging off of her awkwardly - more draped than tied - and her cheeks are stained and flushed. Instead of having her hair tied up in a pony tail or even in pigtails, its loose and hanging free. The long locks completely cover her bare shoulder. 

  “Hiyoko!” He gasps, flinching back from the doorway. 

  “Can…can I come…in?” She asks between silent sniffles. As she does so she tries to wipe her eyes with her hands, while also trying to hold her kimono up. Trying and failing at both.

  “Of course.”

  He doesn’t hesitate to step back, holding the door open for her to slink through. Pulling her kimono as tight as possible, she shuffles in and throws herself down next to Hajime’s bed, burying her face into the mattress. Uncertain of what to do, he stands next to the open door for a few seconds just watching her. She doesn’t say anything though. She doesn’t even look back towards him. The entire time her face stays buried, her body still shaking violently. 

  Of course she has grown over the last few years so she no longer resembles the girl from the Neo World Program, but right here and now, as she sit there hunched over, she doesn’t look a day older. Especially with her hair splayed out like a fan around her head on the bed.

  Moving slowly, he gently closes the door, wincing at the sound of it clicking shut. She doesn’t seem to notice though. Never once turning or even shifting, even as Hajime wanders over to her side to sit down right next to her. He makes sure to keep an arms length between them. Still nothing. 

  “Hiyoko…” He calls out to her cautiously, “What’s wrong?”

  It’s only then that she shifts ever so slightly. Although she doesn’t lift her head up completely, she does twist it to the side. Instead of burying her face, her arms become more like a pillow so she can watch him. The entire time she’s biting her quivering lip, tears still freshly streaming down her face even now. 

  Eventually she manages to stutter out a few words between sniffles, “I…I…Please don’t laugh…”

  “Don’t worry, I swear I won’t laugh.” 

  But even with his reassurance she doesn’t move an inch. With her eyes swimming like that he doubts she can see a thing but her eyes stay locked on him anyway. Trying to read him. Analyse him. Only when she turns her head to face the opposite way does she finally explain. 

  “I…I…I can’t tie my kimono.” She chokes on the words. He might not be able to see her face but he doesn’t need to to know exactly what she looks like right now.  

  “I wouldn’t laugh at that, do you want me to tie it for you?”

  He waits without moving until he sees the slightest nod of her head. Bit by bit she sits upright, clutching the fabric around her desperately. Having stood up first Hajime holds his hand out to her but he’s taken aback when she grabs onto it without a second thought. He’s not exactly surprised to find it shaking violently but he holds onto it tightly anyway. Letting him do all the heavy lifting to get back to her feet. 

  Even after her growth spurt he’s still a little taller than her. Trying to come across as non threatening as possible (and to give him a better angle to work with) he kneels down in front of her. Closing his eyes he lets her readjust the kimono before starting the tying process. 

  But despite his best efforts to make his movements clear and slow, she still flinches every single time he moves. Her jumpiness makes it considerably harder to keep the knot secure but he stays quiet. Focusing as hard as he can on reducing their contact as much as possible.

  In spite of her jumpiness she stays completely silent through the whole process. Her body stiff as a board (when she’s not jerking away) up until the very end. Only when he reaches up to carefully straighten out her collar does she whimper, fully jumping backwards until she’s out of Hajime’s range. The unspilt tears that had been building up suddenly begin falling all at once. 

  “Hiyoko -”

  “I don’t…I don’t…know what’s wrong with me…” 

  Even though her kimono is fully tied up now she still clings onto it as if it’s going to fall away at any second. Her arms wrap around herself, forming a firm shield. Either that or a soothing blanket which smothers her. 

  After the way she had been flinching earlier he holds his ground as she slowly drops to her knees. The kimono pools around her and the long sleeves droop on the floor unceremoniously. All grace is gone. In her over sized kimono she looks younger than ever before. 

  Although he doesn’t want to close the distance between them, he does still lower himself to her level. But instead of falling into a heap, he sits cross legged patiently. The entire time he keeps his hands fully exposed, resting on his knees. 

  “What do you mean?”

  Gone are the silent sniffles from earlier, now she’s heaving in breaths just like she had been when she first woke up, “I learnt how to tie my kimono years ago…Mahiru taught me…I…I…n-never had any…problems after that.” Her voice breaks but she looks up, meeting Hajime's eyes. “But now I can’t do it even though I stood in front of the mirror for hours…”

  His stomach feels hollow listening to her. After everything in the Neo World Program he hadn’t even thought twice about her not being adept with the kimono. And yet it makes sense. If years had passed of course she would have learnt at some point.

  As terrible as it sounds, he can’t help but feel somewhat relieved. At least he wasn’t the only one who’s come out of the Neo World Program with his mind out of sorts. Missing information. A jumbled mind. 

  “Your mind’s been through a lot. I don’t think you need to worry. Maybe you just need to teach yourself again. Why don’t you go back to Mahiru if she taught you before?” He uses his most comforting voice, praying it will be enough but Hiyoko’s lip only wobbles more. More tears. More redness creeping up her neck. 

  “I…” Her eyes dart downwards, avoiding eye contact at all costs, “I just don’t want to bother her.” It doesn’t take a genius to know she’s lying but he doesn’t bother saying anything. 

  Surely Mahiru would be more than willing to help the woman. It wouldn’t be the first time - quite the opposite by the sounds of things. If anyone was going to be there for Hiyoko ready to jump in it would be Mahiru. And yet Hiyoko is here in his room. For some reason beyond his comprehension she chose his room of all rooms to knock on in the dead of night. Hell, even now he has no idea what time it is. 

  Taking up the mantle he sits up straight and speaks with a firm tone, “I can try to teach you then.”

  “You…you would do that?”

  “Sure, why not.”

  How hard can it be? Since he was already able to do the ‘hard part’ of actually tying it then teaching it should be easy. Even if it is Hiyoko. Besides they don’t need to do it all in one night. They can take as long as they need to.

  As Hiyoko lays on the floor, wiping her eyes with her sleeve, Hajime gets up and slowly walks around to the bathroom. He had been intending to grab the mirror but only now does he remember the giant crack running across the surface. Sure, they could probably still use it, it’s not like you can’t see past it, but he probably doesn’t want her asking questions about it. Besides, having the clearest surface possible would probably be better. So instead he simply grabs some toilet roll and leaves the room. 

  “Here, use this. You don’t want to ruin your kimono after all.” He makes sure she’s looking up at him before he chucks the toilet paper over to her.

  At first she just sits there, staring at the roll as if she’s never seen one before. Her nose wrinkles up softly but eventually she pulls a few sheet free with a weak tug and begins scrubbing her face again. 

  “Th-Thanks…” 

  “You’re welcome. If we’re going to learn how to tie it then we should probably use a mirror. Mine’s not in the best shape so can we use yours?” He asks tentatively, scratching the back of his neck. But much to his relief she doesn’t even bother questioning the state of his mirror. 

  “Um…okay.”

  “I can go and grab it myself if you want to relax for a minute.”

  She doesn’t verbally respond but she gives the smallest nod possible which he figures is consent enough. Especially as she doesn’t make any moves to stop him as he head off towards the door. For a moment he considers just bringing her with him and helping her in her own room but she could probably do with a moment on her own. Besides, maybe she would be more comfortable without having him in her private space. 

  So without much more thought he ploughs onwards, heading over to Hiyoko’s room. Sure enough it’s unlocked as he approaches it and the door swings open without much issue. He does his best not to look around, keeping his head facing down to the ground as he walks through. He doubts there’s even anything in the room - it’s not like they got given many personal effects - but it still feels wrong to look without her permission. 

  He only raises his head when he reaches the bathroom as he carefully pulls the mirror up, lifting it from the wall. Despite the size it’s relatively easy to carry - the shape is more awkward than anything else. Soon enough he’s maneuvered out of the room and down the corridor, setting the mirror down on the floor in front of his dresser for them both to look at. Pulling out draws he adjusts the height of the mirror, resting it on the open draws to give it some extra height. Only when everything is set up properly does he head back over to Hiyoko.  

  “Hiyoko, are you ready to have a go at learning?”

  Even though he can’t have been gone longer than a few minutes, she already looks slightly better than she had before. Although she’s now surrounded by a sea of scrunched up tissues, her cheeks at least look dry. Her eyes might still be bloodshot and the pink still hasn’t faded from her cheeks but at least she’s not breathing as heavily and there are no fresh tears. 

  Half-heartedly sweeping the tissues under his bed with her foot (as if he somehow can’t see her doing it right in front of him) she slinks over towards him. Together they stand in front of the mirror working diligently. 

  Given the small space they have to work with in front of the mirror he does his best to give her space, while also pointing out what she needs to do. He quickly finds himself wishing they were still in the Neo World Program where they still had extra copies of all their clothes. It would be so much easier if they could both do it at the same time but he will just have to make do with what he has. It’s not like they can do anything about it. 

  Despite knowing that circumstances are different to the last time he stood before a mirror, he still bites his tongue and avoids looking at his own reflection. Blocking out everything other than Hiyoko. This isn't the time to get caught up in his own mind. Hiyoko needs all his attention and that's what he's going to give her.

  The longer they work, the more and more frustrated Hiyoko grows. Her enthusiasm dissipates within a few minutes and within twenty minutes she’s huffing and pouting. The pink in her cheeks might be gone but it’s only been replaced by a righteous red. 

  “This is impossible.” She growls, angrily blowing her hair out of her face. Both hands are on her hips, hair falling limply back in front of her face. 

  “No, it’s not.”

  “It is!” She turns her nose up, crossing her arms grumpily. Like a pouting toddler she turns her back on him, throwing the cord down unceremoniously. 

  It takes all he has not to laugh at the scene. He gets the feeling she wouldn’t appreciate that - no matter how funny she looks now, pouty lip and all. 

  He doesn’t bother chasing after her. Staying firmly in front of the mirror, waiting for her to return to his side, “No, it’s not. You already learnt before so you can definitely learn again.” He keeps an eye on her through the mirror. Tracking her as she paces about. 

  “This is stupid.”

  “We can stop if you want.”

  For a moment she freezes where she is. Even her hands don't twitch. Nothing moves at all. In the quiet of the room he can hear the cogs turning in her head. The longer the silence goes on for, the more he thinks she’s going to up and leave instead. 

  But much to his surprise when she turns around she answers, “No.”

  After that, although she groans and grumbles with every failure, she doesn’t try to leave. He can see the frustration brewing in every clenched jaw and muttered hiss. Yet the dam holds. 

  The longer and longer they go, the easier her fingers flow. The more graceful every movement. The closer they get. 

  And then she does it. 

  And she does it again. 

  And again. 

  “I did it?” 

  “Yes you did.”

  “I did it.” She lets out a breathy sigh. A half laugh escapes her lips before she locks it down, not wanting to get too excited too quickly. 

  “Uh huh.”

  “Of course I did it.” She flicks her hair over her shoulder nonchalantly. Her smug smile is so convincing that if he hadn’t seen her seconds ago he might even believe it. Lots of practice, clearly. 

  He’s not sure how much time they’ve wasted stood here. It must have been at least an hour but yet again he finds himself wishing he had a clock in his room he could check. Considering they’re just tying a kimono, an hour is probably too long but even that knowledge can’t smother the pride swelling in his chest. Regardless of how long he took he’s just glad they got here.

  After all this he has a newfound respect for Mahiru. 

  Laughing to herself, she spins and allows herself to fall down onto his bed. Rolling onto her back, she giggles uncontrollably. Looking up at him as he grins. Her long hair is knotted and tousled around her after all the pulling and huffing earlier but she either hasn’t noticed or she couldn’t care less. 

  Slowly her laughter dies down but her grin remains smugly planted on her lips. As she meets his eyes she tilts her head slightly to the side. Looking at him with different eyes. 

  “Your hair is different now…”

  “Huh?”

  “You had that long black hair before.”

  He chuckles slightly, a hand reaching up to run through his hair. It’s not exactly a subtle change. Perhaps for people like Hiyoko who have only seen him like this since waking up from the program it feels far less sudden. 

  “Oh, that…yeah, I wanted to change it up.” He tries to give a casual shrug as he slowly sinks down onto the mattress, sitting side by side with her.

  “You look more like you did back then now. Except the your eye…was it always like that…?” As she points to each of his eyes in turn her nose scrunches up. Wrinkles completely taking over her forehead. 

  For once he has absolutely no idea what she's on about. The hair is one thing but eyes…? Instinctively his hands fly up to his face but everything seems normal. Normally he'd just ignore her but…

  Shaking his head he tries to pull them both back on track, “I think it looks better, don’t you?”

  She doesn’t even need to take a second to reply, “Yeah…definitely.”

  As stupid as it might sound, those words send a warmth through his body. What she thinks shouldn’t matter at all but that doesn’t change his instinctive reaction. 

  Looking down at her he can’t hold himself back any longer. Sighing he holds out a hand and beckons her upright, “Here, let me sort out your hair.”

  “My hair?”

  “Yeah, it’s a mess. If you’re going to wear your nice kimono then let me tie it back.” He nods down at the small cat hair tie that he noticed around her wrist earlier. 

  Instead of turning him down she slowly drags herself up and she spins around so her back faces him. For a few seconds she just pulls on the hair band, letting it slap back and hit her wrist before she finally pulls it off and passes it over to him. 

  “What hair style do you want?” Gently pulling back her hair, he runs fingers through it tenderly. Being as careful as he can, he separates out the knots, avoiding pulling as much as possible. 

  “Hmmm…give me a plait.” 

  He would be lying if he said he hadn’t been expecting her to ask for her usual ponytail. Either way he’s happy to sit there and work on her hair. Although she’s tense the entire time, she’s still humming something indistinguishable. 

  “Don’t laugh at me but -”

  He instantly pauses, still holding her hair, “Hiyoko, I promise I’m not going to laugh at anything you say. You’re not saying anything silly.” 

  “You haven’t heard what I’m saying yet...”

  “I already know for a fact it’s not going to be silly. You don’t need to worry about me laughing.” Sighing, he goes back to plaiting, waiting patiently to hear her response. 

  “Okay…okay.” She mumbles, probably rolling her eyes but without being able to see he can’t be sure, “Since waking up, do you feel like your body…is….wrong?”

  “Wrong?”

  Grumbling she rubs her face, frustration etched into her voice, “I’m not saying it right…I just keep stubbing my toe and bumping into things and my balance has been all off. It feel like I’m in someone else’s body…but it’s mine. I know it’s my body.”

  Every word she speaks strikes a chord in him. Even just hearing it makes his stomach twist uncomfortably. He should have realised that of all the people would feel this way. 

  Yet even as she explains she fiddles with her own hands in her lap. He can hear every harsh, awkward as she anxiously shuffles side to side.

  Smoothing down her hair he replies with a simple, “Why do you think I changed my hair?”

  At once she deflates. Without any warning she whips around, not caring when he hair is ripped out of Hajime's hands. All the progress that had been made with the plait is lost as the loose weaves unravel in the blink of an eye. 

  “It’s not just me losing my mind then?”

  “No…” He gives up on Hiyoko's plait, grabbing some of his own hair slightly to show off his surgery scar, “Do you see this?”

  “A scar?”

  “Yeah, from my surgery. Even looking at it makes me feel kind of sick. Sometimes it feels like my head is being carved open from here when I think too much about my memories - especially ones inside the Neo World Program.” Every word burns as it comes out but he doesn’t relent. Not if this is what she needs to hear right now. 

  Sighing he releases his hair and slowly gets up. He can feel Hiyoko watching him as he crosses the room towards the bathroom door. But instead of stepping in, he simply leans against the door frame. From here he can look in at his own reflection in the shattered mirror. Disorganized pieces laying side by side. Broken fragments splitting up his body. 

  “I doubt all the others had exactly the same feeling but our bodies were so different in the Neo World Program so it makes sense to have a little trouble adjusting.” Hiyoko hangs off his every word. Not a single breath passing her lips. 

  It’s not just him and Hiyoko though is it? The image of Nagito remains fresh in his memory. Cradling his arm in the sling. What about Fuyuhiko and Nekomaru who were mutilated within the program themselves? And what about Akane?

  “Will it get better…?” 

  “Yes.” Despite how certain his words sound it’s all one big lie, “We just need to give it some time for us to get used to the feeling of these bodies again. You’ll feel better soon.”

  He has to assume it will get better with time. If it doesn’t then what is there? There’s nothing else he can tell her. Nothing comforting at least. They were the first ones to go through the Neo World Program so there’s no other data to rely on. But he has to assume it’s just like going through a ‘normal’ amputation or surgery where it just takes time to adjust. That’s what he chooses to believe.

  “Thanks…I guess I should go now.” Hiyoko gently rubs her arm with one hand but she doesn’t make any other moves. She doesn’t even get up off the bed. She just sits there. Waiting.  

  Is he supposed to be doing something? Arguing with his own mind, he allows the question that has been on his mind to slip out. It’s probably a horrible idea but how long can he really ignore the elephant in the room. 

  “As nice as it has been to see you, why did you come to my room? If you wanted help with your kimono why not go to Mahiru?”

  “I -”

  Holding up a hand, he stops her before she’s even begun, “I know, you said you didn’t want to bother her. There was more to that though. I know you were holding something back.”

  For a few seconds they just stare at each other. Waiting for the other person to relent. To back down. To lose. But they are both too stubborn. Too determined. 

  Eventually Hiyoko is the one who snaps. Her shoulders slump. Like a puppet with her strings cut, she simply collapses in on herself. Falling to pieces. 

  “I think she’s getting sick of me…” Instead of crying or getting angry she just sounds…tired. Dejected. All the wind has been removed from her sails  Everything has been drained away. And as she speaks she only scratches at her arm harder. Cutting into the skin at times. 

  “Mahiru getting sick of you? That seems impossible.” 

  It seems preposterous to even think about. There have been a million times when Mahiru could have abandoned Hiyoko and yet she was still here. What could have changed? He had seen the way she jumped in to help Hiyoko when the woman first woke up. The idea of her dropping off now just doesn’t make sense. 

  But the tiredness has been quickly replaced by another feeling as Hiyoko begins snapping at him, “You don’t need to lie to me. We all know it would make sense. I’m going crazy!” But even now she doesn’t stop scratching at her arm. If he didn’t know her he would think she was trying to peel the very skin off her bones. 

  “You’re not going crazy.”

  “Don’t lie.” She growls ferociously. Her skin turning deep red. 

  He has no idea what he can even say to convince her once she has this in her head. Many things have been happening but he wouldn’t call them crazy. If that’s crazy then they would all just be crazy at this point. Actually…maybe that’s not so far from the truth. 

  “I’m not lying.” Sighing, he softens his voice. Trying a slightly different approach, “Why do you think she is getting sick of you?”

  “She’s avoiding me…even when we are together she doesn’t talk much anymore…” 

  He thinks back to the dark and empty room Hiyoko had been sitting in the other day when he dropped off the kimono. They had all been assuming the two were hanging out in the same room all the time like Fuyuhiko and Peko but he supposes there was never actual evidence of that. Maybe they really have both just been locked up alone like Teruteru since waking up. 

  For some reason that thought sends a dull ache through his body. 

  “Everyone’s just struggling with everything they’ve been through. Mahiru is no different.” But despite his best efforts the words sound hollow.

  All of them are recovering - even those of them that didn’t actually die in the game. Perhaps expecting Mahiru to look after Hiyoko on top of everything she’s dealing with had been unfair. Not that anything is fair about this situation. 

  “Maybe…” 

  “Why did you come to me though of all people? I thought you would hate me.”

  It’s not like he’s been on her side as much as he imagines she would want. Hell, after their conversation at the meeting he assumed that he would be the last person on her list. Then again, who would Hiyoko go to? It’s not like she has loads of friends. Once upon a time he assumes she would have gone to Ibuki… However now with Ibuki taking Mikan’s side she would be off the table. Sonia? Akane? Nekomaru? Who is she actually friends with? After spending years with them she must have made friends with some people other than Ibuki and Mahiru.

  It feels like it takes minutes for Hiyoko to answer but it could have just been seconds. His sense of time has been well and truly screwed with at this point. When she does answer it’s barely more than a whisper on the wind, “Is it true?”

  “Is what true?”

  “What you said earlier? Did Junko not brainwash you? You don’t seem the same now as you were before.”

  Of course it was going to come to this conversation. Given everything that has gone on he sometimes struggles to keep track of who was actually aware of everything. It’s not like they exactly sat down and talked about their histories when they were all working together.

  Taking a deep breath, his hands curl into fists in his legs. Nails dragging against the fabric as he fights against his own shaky voice.

  “You saw the scar. Hopes Peak did brain surgeries on me to change me as a person and to get rid of all my old memories and thoughts. So yeah, Junko didn’t have to brainwash me to get me to work with her.”

  He's not sure what response he was expecting but instead of shouting at him or throwing him a look of pity she just mumbles a single question, “What do you remember from before?”

  “Nothing. I remember waking up from the chamber they were ‘making’ me in but nothing before that. The only parts I remember of being Hajime was my time in the Neo World Program.” He gives her a casual shrug, but even he doesn’t think he’s actually fooling her with his nonchalant attitude. 

  “Must be weird.”

  He chuckles involuntarily, leaning back into the pillows until he’s fully laying down just like Hiyoko had been earlier, “You don’t need to tell me.” 

  “Mahiru told me that the Chiaki in there was just an AI but she was once a real person you know…”

  “I know…” He bristles slightly.

  Visions of the recent dream he had almost forgotten suddenly flood his mind. Rushing back all at once. Just when he thinks he’s escaped thoughts and memories of her they’re all dragged right back up. And to think he had once been worried all trace of her existence would disappear…

  “Did they tell you about her?”

  “Sort of. Sonia told me a lot of stories.”

  “Of course she did.” Hiyoko sighs and rolls her eyes at that. 

  There’s no point in him keeping his knowledge a secret though. He’s already told other people so what’s wrong with talking to Hiyoko about it. With her it’s impossible to tell how she will take it though. Knowing he was right there and he did nothing to stop Chiaki dying. He couldn’t even give her comfort in her last desperate moments. 

  Shaking his head, he opens his mouth and finally explains, “But I actually remember her a little myself.”

  “But you said -”

  “Her and Nagito snuck into Junko’s ‘lair’ once before…the end…and I saw her then. I was also with her when she died.”

  Her last desperate clawing. Her weak body crawling towards him. Her bloodied hand reaching up to him. That damn pin. Her bright pink blood dripping across the floor. Pooling. Growing. Dying. It’s all ingrained into his mind. 

  Logically he knows he’s still laying here next to Hiyoko but in the darkness of the room he could swear he can see her body slowly moving towards him. He can hear her whimpers still hanging in the air… Even now he’s awake he can’t escape the memories. 

  “When she…died…?”

  Shaking his head to try and chase away the memories he turns towards Hiyoko, “I didn’t see her…with you guys. But I was down in that place. I was effectively locked down there until Hopes Peak fell into chaos.”

  “So you were with her when she made her plans…”

  It feels so strange to think back on that time now. After everything that has happened since then, it really shouldn’t stand out. Being cloaked in darkness, sealed up in a single room waiting for something, anything, to happen. Watching Mikan, Mitarai, Junko and Mukuro gathered around the slowly pulsating computer screen. It was barely even noteworthy in the grand scheme of things.

  He can still clearly recall the boredom that filled him with every passing second. Yet the longer he stays here with everyone, the sharper the memories become. What had once been a numb and fuzzy recollection, now feels heavy and hard within his mind. 

  Something gnaws at the memory deep inside of him. Cutting into it harshly. 

  “Yes. I was with her when she was breaking down Mikan. And Yukizome. And when she made all of her videos. I was always there. Do you see why I said I thought you would hate me?”

  “Hmmmm…”

  She doesn’t look at him anymore. Instead she fiddles with her hair on her own. Weakly trying to plait it with fumbling fingers. Her clumsy hands can barely keep control of the three strands, letting them fall apart before they’re even weaved together. Small pieces stick out of the plait. Flying away wildly, ruining her usual picture of elegance. 

  Part of him instinctively wants to jump in and sort it out for her but he holds himself back. No matter how pathetic her attempts are, he doesn’t dare say a word. He doesn’t even sit up from where he’s laying. 

  Only when she finishes with her hair does she finally move. The sad excuse for a plait swings at her back as she gets up and begins cross the room towards the bedroom door. With every swing more pieces of hair break free, forming a frizzy mane around her. 

  But even as she begins leaving the room he doesn’t make any moves to stop her. It’s for the best. He doesn’t even say anything. He just keeps looking up at the ceiling, trying to keep out of his own head.

  “Thank you…Hajime…”

  His brain is so jumbled that at first he thinks he’s mishearing her. It doesn’t make any sense. But when he lifts his head up to look at her he notices her slight smile. She’s not looking at him, her head tilted down at her feet as she stands in the doorway but even with her hair slightly obscuring her face she can’t quite hide the ever so slight

  “It’s okay.”

  And the bedroom door closes behind her.

  Her mirror is still sat in his room but he doesn’t bother calling after her. He can set it outside her room in the morning - whenever that is now.

  Instead he slowly gets up and finds the suit he had unceremoniously left piled on top of his dresser. Searching desperately, he digs into the pockets until he feels the familiar tough surface. Gripping onto it as hard as he can. he slowly pulls out his hand, examining the small pin inside his fist. 

  Even in the darkness of the room it seems to glint. Catching the tiniest amount of light that exists in this space. The colours have slightly faded over the years but it’s still clearly the same galaga pin that haunts his dreams. Small flecks of pink are still staining the surface - even to this day. 

  Even though touching it makes his stomach churn and gurgle dangerously he doesn’t dare let go. He just stands there in front of the mirror. Swaying ever so slightly as his breath hitches. There is no one else in the room anymore and yet, somehow, he still feels likes he's being stared at from all sides.

  As his finger absentmindedly traces over the surface, he drops his hands back to his sides. Only then does his look up, meeting his own reflection in the mirror once more. 

  It's then that he sees it. The room might be dark but there is no mistaking the sight before his very eyes. Instead of the sharp red eyes he has grown accustomed to seeing reflected right back at him, he's greeted by a different sight. He can't look away from the one soft green eye shimmering in the darkness, gripping the pin tighter and tighter. Letting the sharp sting drown everything else away. 

Chapter Text

20/05 - 04:23

  His feet pad against the cold ground. Every step shuddering through his body. Maybe he should have put on some shoes but he can’t be bothered to care right now. Not when silent and empty corridors stretch out before him. There’s only one place he is going though. 

  However, this time as he steps into the Neo World Program room there is no one lying in wait. Just to be sure he does a quick once over, checking behind every machine. But sure enough there’s no one - not even Kazuichi - in here. He’s all alone. Which means he’s free to do whatever he needs to. 

  Much to his relief, his chamber is still in one piece. His hadn’t been one of the ones torn up during Kazuichi’s crusade. While he assumes it would be no problem to use someone elses, it feels far more comforting to use his own. Returning to lay in it once more almost feel like going home at this point. A familiar soothing feeling as darkness washes over him. 

  Once again he’s dragged into the Neo World Program. 

  He doesn’t need to open his eyes to know when the world has changed this time. Before anything else has shifted he can smell the salty tang on the air and feel the soft breeze brushing through his hair. Not to mention the warm and soft sand forming a bed underneath him. The smooth and hard surface of the chamber long gone. 

  When his eyes open he has to sit there looking out for a few seconds. Seeing bright blue sky above him feels like a shock after holding their outdoor party.

  Before this place had felt all too real but now it just looks too…perfect. The bright sparkling blue is too clear. Golden sand underfoot looks too untouched and still to be real. Not to mention the soft way the sun shines up in the sky. Too big. Too bright. Too soothing. It’s hard to reconcile with the gloomy red sky he knows is waiting for him outdoors. 

  “You’re back again Kamukura?” 

  At once his head snaps to the side. Instinctively seeking out the sound even though he knows all too well who will be standing there. 

  Sure enough the AI is sat on the beach, legs drawn up close to his chest. Head resting on his knees tenderly. It hasn’t been long since he last saw Alter Ego but somehow he looks so different now. While he can’t put his finger on what, the soft glow that seems to surround him takes Hajime aback. Soft colours kissing his cheeks that hints at a non-existent warmth radiating from his body. The sun streaming through his hair almost makes it look like a halo. 

  Although the rest of the world seems far less real than the last time he was here, he has to keep reminding himself Alter Ego is nothing more than an AI program. The more Hajime looks, the more his head aches. 

  “Yeah, is that okay?”

  “Of course! I just keep thinking I’m not going to see you again only for you to appear again.” Even Alter Ego can’t hold back his smile, instantly lighting up. He closes his eyes softly as he speaks - he truly looks like the cat that’s gotten the cream.

  It’s not like he wasn’t aware that Alter Ego valued his company. It’s not like he gets any other company after all. There’s only so much time he can spend here though - he suspects the others would have something to say if he started spending all his time locked away in here. No matter how nice the environment is, after seeing the hassle it has already caused it’s not worth the risks. 

  He offers a gentle smile anyway, “I don’t try to make a habit of it.”

  Alter Ego glows even brighter, his grin sparkling in the hot sun. Lost in the moment. However, after a few seconds have passed Alter Ego regains his senses, clearing his throat and sitting up straight. “Is everything okay then?”

  “Yes. Mostly anyway.”

  With a sigh he simply raises a hand up to his face on instinct. Cupping the single green eye as if to hide it from sight but it’s already far too late for that. Still it feels like the ground is falling out under him. That sickening feeling as his stomach drops and twists painfully. 

  Part of him wants to ask Alter Ego about it - how could his eye colour shift?! - but he holds himself back. He’s not sure why, there is no logic behind it, but every time he thinks about asking his body seizes up. Recoiling as he struggles to swallow down the lump in his throat.

  But despite of his lack of control over his own body, Alter Ego doesn’t seem to take note. Instead he is still just lost in his own thoughts as his eyes widen drastically. 

  “Mostly…?” Alter Ego raises an eyebrow. His hair might as well be standing on end, hackles raised like a cat. He can practically hear the AI completely overthinking everything. Maybe he should have been more clear with his words. 

  “It’s all to be expected. It’s just that not everyone is handling waking up well.” He gives a tentative answer, like he’s stepping on egg shells. 

  “Hmmm… Mental fatigue and trauma is to be expected.” Alter Ego hums as he rubs at his chin, “What did you want me to assist with?”

  Honestly, he was following his instincts more than anything else. Perhaps he should have come in here with more a plan, but either way he’s here now. With Naegi and the others gone who is he supposed to go to? It’s not like he can keep putting these thoughts on the others. Just like Hiyoko, they are struggling with their own things. 

  “I don’t know really. You were designed to help with mental health, right?”

  “Yes, although it didn’t work out well…” Alter Ego bites down on the inside of his cheek. 

  In fairness, they can’t really blame all that on Alter Ego. In fact, they still don’t actually know how well it would have worked if it functioned like normal. Perhaps they will never actually find out. 

  “Don’t blame that on the program. As far as we know it should function effectively so what would you recommend to help them?” He crosses his legs and spins around to fully face Alter Ego. Addressing him face to face.  

  “I don’t know…” Alter Ego mumbles uncertainly, chewing on his lower lip, “When programming this place to help you guys we focused on helping you guys build connections and relationships with each other. I think if you want to help the others then you need to work to build a strong support network.”

  “A support network?”

  It sounds silly. Too simple. Too naive. And yet he listens with rapt attention. Desperate for any advice, no matter how silly. 

  “When humans have a tight web of people to lean on they are able to overcome seemingly impossible things. Hope is born from friendships and relationships. When you have dreams for the future and a drive to keep working towards things.”

  Hope. There’s that word again. 

  “So we need to make everyone become friends…?” He drawls, raising one eyebrow. It’s hard not to let his skepticism show, not matter how much he wants to. 

  Sure, he can see the thought behind it, but isn’t that what they’ve already been trying? Between the parties and meetings it doesn’t seem to be going well. When the entire group is as messed up as this one are they even able to support each other?  

  But then there was Hiyoko coming into his room yesterday despite everything… Ughhhh he doesn’t know. He wants to pull his hair out but with Alter Ego here watching him he should probably try to keep it together. At least for the time being. 

  “Uhhhh…I guess… Sorry, I know it’s not the most helpful information.” Alter Ego immediately jumps in, face flushing as he tries to wave the suggestion away just like that. 

  “It’s fine - I just hope we’re able to do it. It’s harder than it sounds…” But he doesn’t seem to be quite convincing enough. 

  Even now the flush isn’t dying down but he forces a gentle smile anyway, “Yes…but you guys have a strong base to work on. I know I only got to see you from within here but from what I believe in you all.” 

  “I’m glad someone does…” He lets his sigh rattle through him - thoughts racing across his mind. 

~~~

20/05 - 09:14

  “Hello?” He calls out cautiously as he knocks on the door to the patient room. However he doesn’t bother waiting for a response before he gently opens the door, allowing himself in. 

  As soon as he steps in he sees Mikan and Ibuki sat cross legged on the bed facing each other. Judging by the giggling and hand movements Ibuki is teaching her some kind of clapping game. They barely even acknowledge his entrance; the only greeting he gets is a cheerful nod from Mikan before she’s straight back to clapping alongside Ibuki once again. He supposes he shouldn’t be surprised at this point. The only person who spends more time in here than Nagito and Mikan is him. Even Ibuki hasn’t been glued as much to this place as him. 

  Nevertheless he sighs and shuffles into the room seeking out Nagito. Unlike every other time, the curtain separating Mikan and Nagito’s beds have been pulled around once more, hiding Nagito away from everyone’s view. As he gets closer and closer he begins to lean, peeking beyond the curtain to get a look at Nagito.

  The conversation with Hiyoko was still fresh and heavy in his mind. The sight of her. Her words. Her tears. They still play on repeat. Unable to leave him alone. He just needed someone to bounce ideas off of. Someone to help him work out the best approach. And yet he ended up and Nagito…maybe his brain is really fried.

  It’s not like Nagito is the only one who would understand - they’ve all been messed up. But he couldn’t get Nagito out of his head. It looks like he’s going to need to find someone else though as instead of sitting up reading as he usually is when he isn’t talking to Mikan, he’s curled up in the fetal position. Covers tightly wrapped around him. Someone had pulled his hair up into a bun on the top of his head allowing Hajime to get a good look at his sleeping face. 

  “Wait, your eye!” Ibuki’s voice cuts through to him, almost having him flinch back as he frowns in her direction. Only just coming to.

  Instinctively his hand flies to his face once more. Touching the eye but of course there is nothing to feel. Nevertheless it doesn’t ease the frantic beating of his heart as his eyes twitch. Looking over at Mikan and Ibuki uncertainly as their clapping game has ground to a sudden halt.

  “O-Oh, that.” He chuckles softly, trying to force a weak smile, “Y-Yeah, it’s weird.” 

  “I-I think i-it looks nice.” Mikan smiles softly at first until her expression crumbles and her eyes widen drastically, “N-Not that it d-didn’t look n-nice before.” 

  “It’s fine…” Hajime just clears his throat trying to look back at Nagito. 

  Of course now when he needs him Nagito's dead to the world. 

  “If you wanna chat with Nagi then you’ll need to wait.” He rolls his eyes at Ibuki’s new nickname but he doesn’t bother commenting. She’s going to do what she wants and he certainly isn’t going to be able to stop her, “He didn’t sleep well last night so Ibuki stole some drugs for him.”

  “Drugs?!” His jaw drops instantly. 

  He wants to say that he can’t believe she would just steal drugs like that but then he would be lying. The image of Ibuki rifling through all the medical draws - probably grinning smugly - just fits too well. 

  “Y-Yes…don’t worry though I checked the type and dosage for them though.” Mikan jumps in, trying to do her best damage control as if that was the issue with all this. It’s times like this when they make him start to worry. 

  Right as he face palms, he feels a sigh resonate through his entire body. At this point he should just be expecting this kind of thing. They can never just make it easy for him. 

  “Ughhh, just don’t let any of the doctors find out…” He groans quietly. 

  The last thing he needs is to have to deal with this too. Realistically it probably perfectly safe to use a few sleeping pills here and there but he somehow doubts the doctors are going to be as nonchalant. Especially not when the drugs have been taken without permission. 

  He can only pray she was sneaky enough when she took them that nothing is amiss. Subtle isn’t normally the first word he would pair with Ibuki. However he had run into the doctors on his way over here and they had said nothing so hopefully that’s a good sign. 

  “Yeah yeah. Whatever. Spoil sport.” Ibuki huffs and pouts unconvincingly.

  Clearing his throat he moves over to the nearest couch, sitting down and leaning back casually, “I was actually talking to them before this. They said Mikan and Nagito can go to their rooms tomorrow after they’ve had a quick check over.”

  “Really?!” Ibuki shouts out at the top of her lungs, almost completely drowning out Mikan. 

 He winces immediately, looking over at Nagito but the man is completely out of it. Even now he doesn’t even flinch. Nothing could pull him out of his sleep now. 

  “Oh, that’s good to hear...”

  “Yeah, you’ll finally be able to have your own space again.” He mumbles, rubbing his aching ears tentatively. 

  Honestly, he’s not sure why they needed to be here this long in the first place. It’s not like the doctors have been on call here 24/7 and they let Fuyuhiko go almost immediately. But with the end on the horizon he doesnt dare question it any futher. If they’re free now then that’s all that matters. 

  “Ooooh! We should have a par -”

  “No!” He snaps before she can even finish her thought, “We’ve had enough parties in the last few weeks. Lets give it a bit of breathing room before we do that again.” She’s almost gotten too predictable at this point. He’s starting to wonder if there’s any situation she wont come up with a party for. 

  Sure, Alter Ego mentioned building up friendships but he’s starting to think parties aren’t the most effective ways of doing that. Not to mention he’s always the one who gets dragged into setting up and packing away. No more!

  Much to his relief he isn’t alone. Mikan quickly back him up, resting a hand on Ibuki’s arm soothingly, “Hajime is right.”

  “Pfftttt boringgggg.” She crosses her arms, leaving Mikan hanging, but at least she doesn’t push it any more. No matter how enthusiastic she can be about her ideas, she’s able to accept a ‘no’ when she hears it. At least he hopes so…

  Trying his best to distract her, he drags himself over to Mikan and Ibuki. Without waiting for their permission he shimmies himself onto the bed right next to Mikan. 

  “What are you two even doing?” 

  Mikan immediately lights up, all thoughts from before completely forgotten, “Ibuki was teaching me a game she used to play.” 

  Holding her hands up they demonstrate the little clapping game. It’s not like he’s actually seen someone doing a game like this before but he gets the distinct feeling they’re supposed to be a little faster than this. Compared to Ibuki smooth movements - every movement is second nature - Mikan’s entire face is scrunched up. Working hard to calculate every single movement. Pouring 110% of her focus onto the silly little game. 

  As she claps Ibuki beams. She even shows off, turning to look at Hajime without missing a beat with her clapping, “Yep! Mikan missed out on allllll the fun stuff people did growing up.”

  But as soon as she says those words Mikan’s hands drop down to her side, leaving Ibuki hanging. She’s left clapping into thin air. 

  “S-Sorry…”

  “You don’t need to apologise!”

  Lifting his hand up he shuffles even closer, “Maybe you can teach me too. I never played these games either.” It’s not like he even needs to lie to make Mikan feel better. Working alongside Junko didn’t exactly leave much time for messing about and playing clapping games. Although these sorts of things did feel like the sort of stuff Junko would have done - at least while she was pretending to be a normal student. 

  “Really?” Mikan asks, gently pushing at his shoulder. 

  Shrugging off her hand he respond, “Well, if I did then I don’t remember.”

  “Leave it to Ibuki then!” Like a super hero Ibuki holds her head up high, preparing herself.

  Much to his surprise she’s a pretty good teacher. No matter how much Mikan panics and screeches she never loses her cool. The entire time she is patient and calm. Constantly beaming. 

  But next to Mikan’s panicked fumbling he makes the entire process look all too easy. Graceful even. It’s no surprise that within a round or two his movements are almost as fluid as Ibuki’s. It only makes Mikan stand out more but she doesn’t seem to mind in the slightest. At least when she isn’t screeching. 

  As they do it he does his best to avoid thinking about his eye and everything else. The ease and familiarity of the movements only leave his mind to wander. There’s nothing to gain by wondering though. Besides, from the tiny parts he knows about his life from back then, he didn’t exactly seem the type to sit here like this playing silly clapping games back then either. Then again, it’s not like Izuru seemed the type either. But looking over at Ibuki’s giggling and Mikan’s panicked movements he struggles to think about where he would rather be.  

~~~

20/05 - 23:04

  With the bright light of the room overhead it’s easy to lose track of time. It must be well into the night now but neither him nor Kazuichi could care less. Well, almost. No matter how deep he has sunk into his work Kazuichi can’t avoid the yawns that overtake him. 

  Even now he doesn’t dare ask how long he’s been working on the arm. Knowing how Kazuichi is there’s a non-zero chance he simply hasn’t slept at all since beginning. And given how its gone from a single finger when he was last here to almost a complete arm now. 

  The longer they work for, the more Kazuichi’s eyes droop but he always manages to shake himself back awake again. He almost considers dousing the man in icy cold water but that feels a little too cruel. They’re so close to the end now though. With just a little more work they can be done before the sun even rises. 

  They’re almost there.

  Almost.

  As he focuses in on the machinery it’s like everything else in the world fades away around him. Any thoughts. Any nightmares. They’re all gone. All he can think about is the way his hands move and the careful way he handles the metal.

  Sitting there with all the disconnecting pieces laid out in front of him he’s struck by the thought that it’s not exactly the prettiest thing he’s ever seen. Far from it. The metal is dented and chipped in sections- not to mention all the rough ridges running along its surface from the soldering work.

  Even the metal doesn’t stay the same colour throughout. Different sections shimmer differently across each and every part. A collage of their work. More steampunk than cyberpunk. But knowing this is for Nagito that somehow works. Besides, given what they have to work with it’s not like they have much other choice. 

  Knowing all the pieces were there and ready he had expected it to be pretty quick work. How long could it really take to attach a bunch of pieces together. Yet here they are still, hunched over on their floor until their backs scream out. 

  Even when it’s fully attached it wont be done because then they’ll need to actually adjust it to fit Nagito’s arm. So far they have been using Kazuichi’s arm as a guide but there’s no way it will be perfectly accurate. Turns out it’s surprisingly difficult to make a prosthetic arm as a secret gift…who would have thought?

  He doesn’t notice when it happens. He’s too focused on his own work that maybe seconds had passed. Maybe minutes. But when he finally looks over at Kazuichi he finds the other man slumped over. The soldering ‘iron’ is still in his hand, only just avoiding searing the skin of his hand.

  There is no way in hell he’s comfortable with his head resting awkwardly on his knees like that - he can only imagine how tired he must have been. Instead of falling onto the floor, he had folded in on himself from where he had been sat on his knees. Now he’s forming a small ball on the floor, his back bent painfully. 

  Moving quickly, he gently pulls the pencil from the mans hand, disconnecting it and leaving it to the side to cool down away from anything flammable. Wincing to himself, he taps the mans shoulder lightly. Nothing. He barely even flinches. With a gentle hand he pulls Kazuichi towards his chest, slipping his arm under the man tentatively. Just like he had done with Mikan the other day he carefully lifts the man back over into his bed. 

  But even as he carries the man he doesn’t stir in the slightest. The man has never been this much of a deep sleeper. Quite the opposite actually. It’s almost worrying seeing him like this. He had no idea it was even possible for him to sleep like this. 

  Smiling to himself he does his best to drape the blanket over him. Although he does his best to be gentle he doubts it would make much difference anymore. Tucking the edges around him until he’s firmly snuggled under. If only Kazuichi could see himself now. He would probably yell at Hajime for not waking him up but it seems like it was much needed. Besides it’s not like he can’t handle a little arm on his own. 

  So he continues working, gentle snoring providing his backing as he works. 

Chapter Text

21/05 - 03:48

  It’s times like this that he really wishes he had a camera. Surely Mahiru of all people must have one tucked away somewhere, even under these conditions. However maybe dropping into her room at the crack of dawn isn’t the best idea. Especially when they’ve not spoke properly since right after she woke up. His eyes and memory will have to function as his camera for the time being, much to his dismay. 

  Over the last few hours of working, Kazuichi had slowly shifted from the neat position Hajime left him in, to whatever this is. Half his body is hanging off the bed, covers knotted around his legs an arms. If you stumbled upon him you’d think he’d been tied up in some hostage situation. The only thing ruining that illusion is the blissful smile on his lips as drool slowly puddles on the pillow beneath him. His long pink hair only just avoiding getting chewed on. 

  For the first time he’s noticing the black roots poking through, breaking the bright illusion. Of course it’s not like he thought pink was his natural hair colour - the man had admitted more than once to dyeing it - but actually seeing it feels different. 

  Maybe they should get Akane to dye his hair too… She had seemed all too eager to help Hajime after all. 

  Groaning he leans back until his back is pressed up against the side of the bed. From here he can hear each of Kazuichi’s soft snores - if they can even be called that given how quiet they are. Each one only reminds Hajime of how defenseless Kazuichi is right now. That does nothing to convince him not to find a pen and draw a small mustache right now while he has the chance. 

  Realistically he should probably get up and leave. It’s not like there’s anything left for him to do now. He had just finished putting the last pieces of the arm together and it now sits in the middle of the floor. Scrap pieces, oil and grease all surround it like a cage but that only makes it stand out more. Without that to work on what is the point in him even being here? He should go back to his room and get some sleep before the day fully begins.

  But he still doesn’t make any attempt to leave despite logic dictating that he should. The most he moves is a few centimeters to lean back further into the bed. 

  Groaning to himself, he rubs a hand down his face. He can’t just sit here like this. He needs to be doing something. Anything. Almost as if moving on instinct he leans forward just far enough to reach the arm, pulling it into his lap and cradling it carefully.

  He’s not sure why he starts doing it - maybe he really is just bored and desperate for something to keep him busy here - but he finds himself sat there, a sharp scrap of metal in hand. It digs into his hand, cutting the skin of his palm, but that doesn’t stop him. Before he realises what he’s doing he’s scratching into the rough metal surface. Only lightly of course but just enough that you can catch sight of the engravings when the light hits the metal properly. 

  At first it’s nothing but the word Nagito, carved out in his best cursive writing. It’s harder than normal given his tools and the uneven surface but he would be lying if he said it didn’t look good. 

  But then his hand keeps moving. Guiding itself. Ivy sprouts out from the spots where the shard moves. Wrapping around the arm elegantly. Twisting around the harsh soldering ridges. It all flows so naturally he could almost be convinced it really was just growing out on his own. 

  Around the ivy small flowers begin blossoming. Filling the empty spaces between vines. Rounded flowers with thick layers of petals. While he might have been the one who etched them, it still takes him a few minutes to even place what kind of flowers they are. Zinnias. He had seen them once on his travels abroad. A vast grassland of them stretching out, untouched by the chaos and destruction. Perfect and unperturbed. 

  Time seems to both stop and speed up at the same time as he works. A perfect bubble separated from everything. Isolated. All that exists is this arm. These flowers. The writhing ivy. 

  He isn’t sure when he began humming but soon the room is filled with the muffled music. Bit by bit it begins to drown out Kazuichi’s soft snores. Even the sounds of him scratching at the metal are covered up. Nothing is left but his hums.

  At least until -

  “Izuru…?” A soft groan drags him back into awareness. 

  Without even needing to think twice he hides away the scrap of metal he had been using, ignoring the way his hand stings without it’s pressure. It doesn’t make any sense - it’s not like he can hide the etchings he’s made, they’re on there forever - and yet he still does it. His body acting before his head.

  “Ah, you’re finally awake Kazuichi.” He forces a smile, leaning back his head so he can see the other man. 

  From his upside down view he can just about make out Kazuichi blinking blearily, his face still pressed into the pillow. Every blink is a chore. He can barely even move his arms and legs with the blanket around him like that. The most he can do is rub his face against his shoulder grouchily.

  “…Awake…” Kazuichi groans softly, his brain slowly breaking out of its slumber. And then suddenly, “Wait! You let me fall asleep!” He forcibly rips his arms free, using them to push him up into a half sitting position. 

  “You looked like you needed it.”

  Kazuichi throws his arms up dramatically like that is doing anything to prove his point, “But…but the arm! We need it ready for today.”

  “Here.” Sighing he holds up the arm and throws it over to Kazuichi in the blink of an eye, “I had it all sorted.” 

  Unfortunately Kazuichi is too busy gasping in horror to even hear him. His hand desperately flail about, trying to grab a hold of it before it falls off the bed. As soon as it’s firmly in his grip he pulls it tightly against his chest. Cradling it delicately. 

  “I can’t believe you let me sleep like that…” The utter disbelief wafting off of him is almost laughable. 

  “Look me in the eyes and tell me you didn’t need it.” He raises a questioning eye brow. 

  “I didn’t need it.”

  “Tell that to the soldering iron you almost burnt your skin with.” He chuckles, nodding over to the now disassembled soldering ‘iron’ Kazuichi had been using. 

  Is he over exaggerating…? Maybe. But it’s not like Kazuichi is going to know. How can he? Besides, it’s not as much of an exaggeration as it probably should be all things considered. 

  “I -” Kazuichi stalls and stutters. Searching for something to hit back with but he’s left with nothing. Despite his best attempts he has to back off, “…whatever.”

  “Look, I’m gonna go and grab us some breakfast. Why don’t you check over the arm while I’m gone. Make sure it’s up to the Soda standard.” 

  With nothing left to rely on he’s forced to agree, huffing and puffing the entire time. At least it will keep him busy though. 

  As Hajime slips out of the room he catches a last look at Kazuichi. His hand roam across the surface of the metal, following the countless lines of ivy trailing across the surface. But he doesn’t say a thing as Hajime flees. He simply goes back to his examination silently.

~~~

21/05 - 10:02

  “Are you ready!” Ibuki cries out. 

  As she yells she grips tighter on the handles of Mikan’s wheelchair, pretending to rev it like a motorbike. Poor Mikan is left clinging onto the wheelchair for dear life, her skin a ghostly shade of white. No one can save her now. 

  With the exception of Nagito, the rest of them are hanging back to watch everything play out. Observing the chaos if nothing else. Sonia is gripping onto Nekomaru’s arm, wincing as Ibuki hangs of the wheelchair recklessly. Even Byakuya is tutting disapprovingly but none of them jump in to save Mikan. Her last remaining hope is Nagito who’s stood beside her but he simple forces a gentle smile.

  Despite his and Mikan’s protests about a party, Ibuki had done her best to gather as many people as possible for the ‘send off’. He’s not sure moving across the hall required all the send off of a cross country relocation, however judging by the meager turn out it wasn’t just him who felt this way. Only Hajime, Ibuki, Sonia, Nekomaru and Byakuya had bothered joining Mikan and Nagito for their ‘big’ moment. 

  For the most part it wasn’t exactly surprising but every time he catches sight of Nekomaru he can’t help but wonder about Akane. She doesn’t stand out as someone who would avoid something like this, and yet she’s no where to be seen. He hadn’t been with Ibuki when she was calling on people but knowing Ibuki he doubts she gave up easily. 

  Shaking loose those thoughts, he tries to bring his focus back to Nagito and Mikan. He should be thinking about them not Akane right now. 

  “Umm, Ibuki…maybe we should -” Sonia finally steps forward, anxiously reaching towards Mikan. 

  It’s too late now though.

  Kicking off the ground, Ibuki fully stands on the back of the wheelchair, sending it careening forwards towards the open doors, “Lets go!” Her battle cry fills the halls instantly. 

  He can already picture the looks that must be painting the doctors faces as they see this. It’s a miracle none of them have intervened yet. Maybe they’ve just fully given up at this point. 

  Not wanting to be left behind, Sonia and Nekomaru run after Ibuki and Mikan. Both of them are barking orders but he’s not sure what they think they’re going to accomplish with that. If they think that’s going to stop Ibuki of all people then they clearly haven’t been paying attention. 

  While everyone speeds off Nagito, Byakuya, and Hajime are left in the dust. As they walk along they can distantly hear the screeching of wheels - or maybe that’s Mikan - but by the time they’ve made it out off the room nothing else is left. If he’s being honest then he prefers it this way. Far less energy is required… 

  As they move along the corridor they meet the all too predictable glares of the doctor. She’s leaning against the wall, shooting daggers at the three of them as if they were the ones careening around the corridor. 

  “Keep your friends under control.”

  Rolling his eyes he sighs, “We’re trying.” 

  It might be a lie but he couldn’t care less. It might be annoying but at least they have some zest for life still. Mikan might be screeching but it doesn’t take a super genius to recognise that she’s having fun. 

  It’s only as they get closer to the communal area that he begins to notice the eerie and unnatural silence around them. No more screeching or running or shouting. And he’s not the only one. At his side, Nagito’s eyes are narrowed, his remaining hand curled into a fist. Ready. Waiting. 

  The tense feeling only gets heavier and heavier, the closer they get. Whether consciously or subconsciously he can feel Nagito shifting closer to him. Before they had been separated by an arms length but now he could reach out and brush the other man with a single finger. This difference is only highlighted further when he looks to his other side only to find Byakuya half a world away. 

  But as soon as they step into the communal area - 

  “Welcome back!” 

  People jump out from all sides, cheering out at the top of their lungs. Considering the sheer volume you would think everyone and their mother had been rounded up into the room but in actuality it’s almost depressingly empty. The only people present are Ibuki, Sonia, Nekomaru and Kazuichi. You could count Mikan but she’s still firmly sat in her wheelchair, looking as confused about all this as everyone else. 

  Nevertheless Nagito instantly flinches back at the sound, his hand brushing past Hajime’s arm and gripping onto his sleeve. He has to stop himself from laughing at how cute and innocent he looks. It’s not a look he had ever expected to see on Nagito of all people. 

  He had been wondering where Kazuichi was and how he was going to go about this but this suddenly makes sense. Sure enough the metal arm is already set out on the table. In the absence of wrapping paper to use they had simply scrunched up printer paper around it, keeping it in place with hopes and prayers. 

  “Took you long enough…” Kazuichi rolls his eyes and crosses his arms. That’s not convincing enough for Hajime though. After seeing him working to exhaustion over multiple days for this moment this nonchalant attitude isn’t going to work.

  “What -?” 

  Eyes wide, Nagito looks around. His mouth is open stumbling for words but nothing comes. Everyone is simply grinning, even Byakuya. 

  Hajime takes advantage of having Nagito’s clinging onto his sleeve to drag the man forward. Leading him over to the table and the gift. As they get closer Kazuichi gently pushes the arm forwards, doing his best to keep the paper in place. 

  “This is a gift for you from -”

  Hajime quickly cuts him off with a short and sharp cough, “From Kazuichi. He’s been working really hard on it for the last few days.” He reaches over and nudges Kazuichi’s arm. The man narrows his eyes at Hajime but doesn’t say anymore. 

  He’s not sure why he doesn’t want Nagito knowing his part in the arm. It doesn’t make any logical sense. Still it’s not like he did most the work, perhaps he just knows he doesn’t deserve the same level of credit. It definitely doesn’t have anything to do with the engravings that he’s starting to wish he hadn’t impulsively added. He has no idea what his sleep deprived mind was thinking with that… 

  Nagito’s hold on his sleeve is released as he lets his hand hover tentatively over the paper. Waiting there unmoving. Even as everyone gathers in closer, trying to lean over to get a better look, he makes no moves to pull the paper off. 

  “Trash like me doesn’t deserve a gift from people like you.” As he starts rambling Hajime can’t help but roll his eyes. Here he thought maybe they had moved past that after all the remnant of despair stuff. He should have known better.

  Growling grouchily, Kazuichi knocks Nagito’s hand aside, “Oh, shut up. I chose to work on it myself so take the damn thing.” And then with a severe lack of fanfare, he yanks the paper off for Nagito. Just like that. 

  The shining metal arm glistens under the harsh overhead light. Sure enough the light catches on the engravings making them pop more than he had expected. Against his will his cheeks begin to grow warmer and warmer. Much to his relief, everyone is too focused on the arm to notice him at all though. 

  Everyone leans even closer, almost blocking out the light with their heads. Wide eyes expression reflected in the distorted surface. Heads almost smash into each other as they all vie for a good position. All of them except Mikan anyway. 

  “Ooooh! It looks beautiful Kazuichi.” Sonia claps excitedly, barely holding herself back from sweeping it up in her own arms. Only as Nagito’s shaking finger brushes along the surface - following one of the ivy strands - does she back off.

  “That’s to be expected for the Ultimate Mechanic!” Nekomaru bellows, thumping Kazuichi on the back. The hit sends him stumbling forward until he headbutts Byakuya, sending them both reeling. Hands clamped over their aching foreheads. He probably should feel bad for them but a bubble of laughter fills his chest instead. 

  Ibuki shuffles as close to Nagito as she can, sneaking her hand in close so she can brush against the writing tentatively, “It’s so pretty! Ibuki had no idea you were able to write in cursive and draw flowers like that!”

  Still rubbing his sore head, Kazuichi lifts his gaze to meet Hajime’s. A slight flush fills his cheek as he bites down on their lower lip. Not a single word is said but he knows exactly what Kazuichi wants to say. He might as well be able to hear Kazuichi yelling at him. But even so he gives the smallest shake of his head possible, eyes pleading with Kazuichi. God, he’s so glad he can’t see his own cheeks right now…

  “An arm…” 

  As if he hasn’t noticed Ibuki reaching her hand over, Nagito grips onto the metal and lifts it up. Examining it from every angle. Checking it is actually there and not just a figment of his own imagination.

  “Yeah, I couldn’t really do much to help Fuyuhiko or Mikan but I figured you could probably do with a replacement arm if nothing else.”

  “I see…” Even as Nagito nods his eyes remain fixed on the arm. Too terrified to even blink. As if the second he takes his eyes off it it’s going to vanish completely. 

  “We’ve gotta fit it for you but it should be working well. We - I - checked it over pretty well.” Kazuichi quickly corrects him with the least subtle cough he could possibly manage. He’s not sure he’s ever wanted to smack Kazuichi upside the head more. He forgot how bad Kazuichi can be at keeping secrets. Only Nekomaru is worse.

  “Thank you Kazuichi.”

  “Y-Yeah…whatever.” Gently brushing everyone else aside, he firmly plants himself in front of Nagito. Prying the arm from his hands. “Hold up your arm.” 

  As diligent as ever, Nagito pulls off his sling and holds his arm out for Kazuichi.

  Everyone else takes a seat around the table, giving Kazuichi and Nagito all the space they need. Even so, they still can’t tear their eyes away from the process. Even as Kazuichi’s cheeks light up with colour they still stare at every movement. Watching how fluidly Kazuichi works, a screwdriver perched between his teeth as he gets to work. It’s impressive how still Nagito can remain with Kazuichi pulling and prodding at him. 

  It only takes a few minutes of tightening and pulling before Kazuichi steps back, slowly releasing the arm. Not ready for the new weight, it falls limply to Nagito’s side for a moment before Nagito’s brain catches up and he lifts his arm back up again to examine his new arm.

  “There you go!” Kazuichi wipes his brow with the back of his arm. As soon as he’s done he carefully tucks his screwdriver behind his ear, using it to unintentionally pin back some of his hair. 

  Everyone immediately gets up, leaning towards Nagito once again. He holds his arm up for everyone, letting them crowd around him without argument. 

  “It suits you.” Mikan hums sweetly. 

  She’s not wrong. He knew the scrappy style would suit Nagito but now it’s actually on and properly attached he’s only more certain of that. He probably shouldn’t be surprised since it was literally made for him. Somehow it looks entirely new and like he’s always had it on at the same time. 

  Nekomaru guffaw’s, hands on his hips, “Yes, it looks much better on you than -”

  Before Nekomaru can finish that sentence Hajime jumps in, drowning out Nekomaru’s words to the best of his ability, “Why don’t you try flexing it?” 

  He forgot how socially unaware Nekomaru can be at times. 

  Thankfully Nagito either hasn’t processed what Nekomaru was going to say or he just doesn’t care as he excitedly begins flexing his fingers, wiggling them about in front of everyone. While they aren’t quite as fluid and natural as his actual hand, it’s far beyond anything he was expecting. Beyond the talents of anyone else. Yet Kazuichi looks totally nonchalant, like this isn’t even worth being proud of. Just another of the many things he’s made. 

  He doesn’t even bristle as people begin complimenting him and his work. He just perches on the edge of the table, eyes drawn somewhat downward. Eyes drifting off into the distance. 

  “Wow!” Sonia gasps, holding her hand up to Nagito’s to intertwine their fingers. 

  Ibuki leans over Nagito’s shoulder again, trying to get a good look at the hand which is now interweaved with Sonia’s, “That’s totally sci-fi!”

  Coughing unsubtly, Kazuichi raises his head and addresses Nagito, “Does it feel okay?”

  “Yes, it’s a wonderful gift Kazuichi. I’ll have to repay you somehow.”

  Nagito’s eyes sparkle magically as he stares at the hand. Bit by bit he frees his hand from Sonia’s grip. Allowing him to drink in the sight of every movement and flex. The more he stares, the more his eyes seems to shine and sparkle. Shimmering in the harsh light. Unless…

  “No repayment needed.”

  “You really are generous.” 

  Sure enough as the light catches his face Hajime just about makes out the watery shimmer of tears building up in his eyes. As is to be expected with Nagito his facial expressions and posture give nothing away but the eyes are the windows to the soul. Even he can’t hide that. 

  Swooping in, Hajime darts between Sonia and Nagito. He carefully places himself right at Nagito’s side, an arm placed on his back to usher him forwards. Before anyone else can notice, he guides Nagito away from Sonia and Ibuki, moving casually and gracefully.  

  He prepares himself for Nagito dragging his feet or questioning Hajime but nothing of the sort happens. Quite the opposite actually. He simply deflates, leaning into Hajime’s guiding arm as he is brushed away from everyone else with ease. 

  “Maybe we should let Mikan and Nagito go to their rooms to rest. It’s been a long day.” Hajime explains as he sweeps Nagito away with complete ease

  Thankfully that’s all the convincing they need to nod along with him. All at once they back off, making way for Nagito and Hajime to move through towards the corridor. 

  “Yes. That sounds like a good idea.” Sonia answers firmly, directing Ibuki over to the wheel chair so they can bring Mikan back to her room.

  Hajime and Nagito completely ignore the others though. They are both solely focused on the door at the end of the corridor, half walking and half jogging over to it. Even as they walk now Nagito can’t stop himself from opening and closing his fist experimentally. Testing out the full range of movements while he can. 

  He simply allows Hajime to guide him along until they make it to Nagito’s room. The door clicks shut behind them, separating them from everyone else. Only then does Hajime back away, giving Nagito his personal space back. 

  Slowly his hand lowers as he examines the empty room. Everything untouched. The bed covers are still perfectly laid out. Not a single crease marring the surface. If he didn’t know better he would assume the bed had never been slept in at all. 

  “Hmmm…I almost forgot what this place was like…” Nagito mumbles, trying to force out a gentle laugh. 

  That isn’t enough to stop Hajime from frowning though. Not when his eyes are still glistening, even in the darkness of the room. 

  “Are you okay Nagito?”

  “Of course.” He furrows his brow at once like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Like he wasn’t on the brink of tears seconds ago. 

  He wouldn’t even blame Nagito. He can only imagine what this is like for him. How overwhelming it must be. His talk with Hiyoko the other day is still fresh and heavy in his mind. There isn’t exactly a right or wrong way to take any of this but pretending it’s all fine and normal certainly isn’t right.  

  “Are you sure, because…”

  “I’m sure.” Nagito snaps out a little too fast. Uncharacteristically harshly. He must see something change in Hajime’s face though because he forces a smile and stands up even straighter. His arm falling back down to his side limply, “It’s too nice of a gift for me after everything... Fuyuhiko and Mikan deserve all this - not me.”

  “You were just lucky it was something Kazuichi could help with. You don’t need to worry about owing him, he likes doing things to help people. That’s all the payment he needs.” 

  He doesn’t even need to lie. They’ve all seen how he will tears things and build them up again when he’s bored far too many times. It’s basically his modus operandi at this point. Stress relief. Honestly, he’s just glad its a productive and non harmful method of dealing with the anxiety. Or at least as healthy as it can be when he skipping out on sleep. 

  “I understand.” Nagito nods firmly but Hajime doesn’t feel like he believes him. At this point he might as well just be talking to a brick wall though. Nagito isn’t going to listen if he doesn’t want to.

  Sighing and rubbing his arm, he shifts his weight from side to side. He hadn’t exactly thought about what he was going to do at this point. It’s not like he’s in the patient room anymore. He can’t just settle down in the corner of the room to keep the mancompany. This is his private space. Not some social hangout spot. 

  “Will you be okay on your own?” He clears his throat, tilting his head slightly towards Nagito. Nagito doesn’t look up though, his sole focus is on the arm he’s now holding up in front of him again. 

  “Yes, I’ll be fine.” His finger traces the name etched into the metal once more. Searing the etchings into his skin over and over and over.

  Sighing and shaking his head, Hajime turns to leave. There’s no point in him being here. Shoving his hands in his pockets he nudges the door open with his shoulder, ready to step back out into the corridor. 

  However right before he can kick the door closed behind him a soft voice calls out, “Thanks for helping me, Izuru.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  A smile ghosts his lips but he closes the door behind him and stalks off to his own room. 

Chapter Text

22/05 - 14:07

  The pages of his book flutter gently as he brushes through them. He knows he should be reading but the words are meaningless squiggles on the page. It doesn’t matter how much he tries to focus nothing changes. At this point he’s just given up entirely. Merely flicking through the pages to maintain his outward appearance and to avoid having to pay attention to everyone else’s conversation. 

  He’s leaning back on the couch, his legs raised up and draped over Kazuichi’s lap. Despite his initial protests, he’s succumbed to his fate. Besides, he would be lying if he said it’s wasn’t at least slightly comfortable. If Kazuichi wants to keep him here then who is he to deny him? 

  Although all the bickering around him is playful he doesn’t have the mental energy to listen to them right now. All his mind can think about are the images from his dream that are swirling around in his mind. The same images over and over. Every night. You would think they would get a little more creative with time but apparently not. Even if the circumstances change slightly its always basically the same thing. Chiaki calling out to him. Reaching for him. Bleeding out. Junko’s hands. Sharp nails. Her shadow still hanging over him. After all this he thought he would be rid of her but clearly he was stupid to even entertain the thought. Like a fungus, she just clings on. 

  But even if he isn’t paying attention to the words being spoken, it’s impossible to ignore Akane’s snorting as she cackles at whatever Kazuichi was saying. She’s sat on the floor, at the foot of Nekomaru’s arm chair, leaning against his legs with her head on his knees. 

  Tucked away in the corner couch are Sonia and Gundham. Sonia is curled up, her legs tucked up close to her chest, as she rests against Gundham who’s long lost in a book just like him. He has the sneaking suspicion the other boy is paying just as much attention to the book as Hajime is paying to his own. 

  Poor Byakuya is trapped on the same couch - stuck as a third wheel to what he assumes is basically cuddling when it comes to Gundham. Nevertheless they don’t look all too bothered pressed up against the arm rest, giving the pair as much space as possible. Just like Gundham and Hajime, their head is locked in a book but unlike them they actually seem to be reading. Completely lost in their own world. 

  It’s not just the seven of them though. Ibuki, Mikan and Nagito are sat on the floor, peering around the coffee table and doodling on the wood with marker pens. He did briefly consider stopping them but a little vandalism is fun from time to time. They don’t really need to be precious with the furniture or anything. 

  The loud voices crashing over each other make for a vivid backdrop - even if he isn’t actually paying attention to anything that is being said. Part of him wishes they had provided a functional TV to keep everyone distracted but he doubts there would be anything worth watching on the TV even if they did have one. 

  Clenching his jaw and gripping the book, he tries his best to focus on the words again. Pushing aside any memories of his dreams for as long as possible. But at this point none of the words on the page make any sense. He’s too deep in now to go back to the beginning though.

  Only when Kazuichi taps his foot, calling his name, does he finally start paying attention to all the talking around him, “Hajime?”

  “What is it?” A sighs, setting down his book as if he was actually paying any attention to it in the first place.

  “We’re just talkin’ about where we’d want to go most in the world.” Akane grumbles. As she does so she leans back even further, letting her head dig deeper into Nekomaru - not that he complains or even flinches.

  Where they would want to go in the world? What sort of question is that? He starting to think maybe he should have been trying to pay a little more attention to whatever they were talking about…

  But before he can even start thinking about how to formulate an answer Ibuki has jumped in, huffing with her head held high, “You’re all crazy! Only crazy people don’t want to live in Hawaii!” 

  Everyone groans at that. 

  After everything he’s surprised any of them would want to be on a tropical island again. Their perception has forever been ruined. But in spite of him saying that he’s the one who has gone back over and over again into the program. Perhaps it isn’t quite as strange as he would like to paint it. 

  Nevertheless they all shake their heads, ready to jump in with their own opinions. 

  “No, obviously America is the right choice. New York seems like a great place.” Nekomaru is the first one to chime in, his arms crossed.

  “I can’t believe you’re actually talking about this. I thought we decided not to leave this place?” He frowns. Keeping his legs on Kazuichi’s lap, he sits up a little straighter, narrowing his eyes. 

  It’s not like they’re actually going to be able to flee to America or even Hawaii without being captured. It would take days to flee that far by boat and there’s no way the future foundation isn’t keeping an eye on the waters. Besides, of all the places to go into hiding those are their choices. 

  “Yeah, yeah. We know.” Kazuichi rolls his eyes, waving aside Hajime’s worries, “We’re just talking theoretically. You know, if things were different.”

  If things were different, huh? He can’t imagine what it would be like to travel around the world back before everything went to hell. At this point he wouldn’t even know where to start. That world only exists in books and films. A separate world to this one. 

  Sonia suddenly drops her legs back down, shuffling forwards energetically until she’s perched directly on the edge of the couch. Burning eyes alight with enthusiasm. 

  “Like Akane, I still believe Japan is the best choice. There is something so special about the nation of Japan. You must agree,” Sonia positively sparkles with every word before she looks around, searching for anyone to back her (and apparently Akane) up, “Mikan…?”

  But if she’s looking for that with Mikan then she was clearly barking up the wrong tree. Pulling at her nails, Mikan’s eyes dart away from Sonia, instead searching out Ibuki. 

  “I…I don’t know…I think I would like to live on an island like Hawaii too…” Her cheeks flush and her eyes begin to well up with tears. But still she manages to get out her opinion in spite of that. It’s actually kind of impressive all things considered. 

  Her tears are quickly brushed away though as Ibuki squeals, leaning into her and sweeping her into a crushing hug. Poor Mikan can only wheeze as she tries to survive the attack. 

  “Ha! Ibuki is drawing with Sonia now!” Ibuki cackles, still not releasing Mikan. 

  Searching desperately Sonia turns her gaze on Nagito instead, “Nagito?”

  “Hm…Japan would be pretty nice. I don’t know where else I would want to be.” Nagito hums, smiling a sickly sweet smile. But the words feel empty and hollow. A sweet sounding platitude, nothing more.

  Regardless of how empty the words sound that doesn’t seem to change Sonia’s stance. Pumping her fist she gives them a crooked grin, “We are winning again now.”

  He had never pictured her as the competitive sort. It does make more sense than he would have thought though. Ambition oozes off of her. He gets the feeling that Ibuki is going to have her work cut out for her trying to take on Sonia.

  “I always enjoyed the land of Madagascar on my travels. If any land was fit to reign supreme as my true kingdom that that would indeed be the only fitting place.” Out of nowhere Gundham suddenly speaks up. He had almost forgotten the man even existed, too wrapped up in Sonia’s exploits. His cackles are impossible to ignore though. 

  However he’s caught off guard as Kazuichi taps his foot once again, almost making him jump out of his skin. “Hajime never gave us his answer, there must be somewhere you would want to live.” Once again throwing him under the bus…

  For a moment he considers just shutting the other man down, refusing to answer but then he catches himself. Where would he want to go? The first place that comes to mind is Japan but after everything that has happened it would feel…wrong. While he didn’t spend all his time there, the entire country is littered with memories. Could he really go and live there like nothing ever happened? But if not Japan, where would he go? 

  Clearing his throat and keeping a stoic face he grumbles, “I don’t have a preference. They all seemed the same to me…” 

  Apparently that isn’t a sufficient answer though. 

  “Boringggg!” Ibuki snores grumpily and releases Mikan so she can fall backwards onto the floor. Splaying out dramatically. 

  “Where did you choose then Kazuichi?” He raises an eyebrow at Kazuichi and crosses his arms. There’s no way he’s just letting Kazuichi pick on him and not share his own opinion. 

  “LA, of course.” 

  “Of course…” He rolls his eyes. In all honesty, what was he expecting. He should have already known where Kazuichi would choose. 

  He’s distracted from Kazuichi though by a soft sigh from Akane. He’s never associated her with any soft feelings - with the exception of when she was fixing his hair - but right now there’s no other word to describe her. Instead of laying back on Nekomaru, her head now hangs down so her chin almost brushes against her chest. 

  “I know the world is kinda fucked now an’ all but it’d be see some stuff before we all die… I never gotta see anythin’ before all this went down.” She mumbles weakly. 

  Even though he travelled over almost all the world he somehow still understands exactly what she means. They’ve not gotten to experience the world. They likely never will. It’s the consequences for their actions so he can’t exactly be bitter about it. 

  “I…I know what you mean…”

  Kazuichi’s hands settle on Hajime’s feet, pulling at his trouser leg absentmindedly. He considers brushing the man off but he holds himself back at the last second. It’s not like he’s doing any harm. 

  “I don’t even have a passport…” Kazuichi mutters quietly, still picking at Hajime’s trousers. 

  Sonia’s gasp snaps through the room as her hand flies up to her mouth, “You do not have a passport?!”

  “Didn’t exactly have money to waste on holidays or trips.” Kazuichi shrugs casually. He hadn’t actually expected him to take it so well but the words simply roll off with ease. 

  The words are enough to make Sonia blush though. It’s not often that they see Sonia embarrassed like this, “I see.”

  Ibuki puffs up her cheeks, sitting up again to rock back and forth, “I know what we said before but maybe we should run off. Explore the world before we’re hunted down. We might not have long left after all.”

  Every time he thinks things have died down, the desperation wells up again. They always end up scrambling, ready to dart off at a moments notice. 

  “Nae - Makoto actually got in contacts a few days ag-” He starts explaining, determined to keep them here for as long as possible. But he’s cut off before he can even finish his sentence by incredulous shouts.

  “WHAT?!”

  “You did not mention this sooner?!”

  Almost everyone tenses at once, sitting up dramatically in unison. They all stare directly at him - mouths hanging open and eyes wide. All of them except Byakuya at least who is still too involved in their book to even look up at the commotion. 

  He honestly hadn’t realised that he hadn’t told them. With everything going on he just hadn’t really considered calling a meeting. It’s not like there was much information to pass on anyway.

  “Akane was the one who dragged me off.” He points a finger over at Akane as if that’s somehow going to make everything better. 

  Kazuichi shoves Hajime’s legs off his lap so he can stand up on his knees to lean towards Hajime. Trying to stare into his very soul, “That’s where you went?!”

  Awkwardly scratching his neck he can feel his cheeks start to warm. Maybe he should have kept his mouth shut after all…but the longer he kept it quiet the worse it would have gotten. At least they all know now… 

  “You fiend…what did he say?” Gundham hisses, book long since abandoned on the couch beside him. 

  “Not much. Togami and Kirigiri were brought back into the future foundation but Makoto was still free for now.”

  “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.” Kazuichi pouts, twisting his head to the side. It’s hard to take him seriously with an expression like that. 

  “There was a lot on my mind.”

  But not one of them is willing to accept that. They all cross their arms and frown at him grouchily. Even Ibuki is scowling at him, pouting almost as much as Kazuichi. All things considered he can’t say he would feel differently if he was in their shoes though. 

  “That’s no excuse for keeping the juicy gossip to yourself!” 

  Clearly he isn’t up to date on what counts as juicy gossip at the moment. He thought that maybe they had a slightly higher standard for this stuff. 

  Nevertheless he forces an awkward smile, “I’ll keep that in mind next time then.”

  Nekomaru shakes his head slowly. His disapproving gaze is able to be felt even from all the way over here. There really is no escape at all, “We all need to be kept up to date with changes.”

  “Look, I wasn’t asking them to come to me with the information. You guys can talk with him next time for all I care.” Grumbling and pouting he turns away from them all. Sliding his legs off the couch until he’s sat normally, pressing himself into the arm rest. 

  They’re all being far too dramatic about all this. Sure, he should have let them know but it’s not exactly revolutionary information. The only thing of note was that he got in contact at all. 

  Thankfully Sonia is there to jump in, “We must not begin arguing.” She breathes heavily, taking in the silence of the moment before she continues, “That is good news to hear though. Although that does mean we should probably not leave for a holiday any time soon.”

  “Prolly…” Akane replies but her sigh and frown aren’t exactly convincing. 

  However the one he turns to isn’t Akane. He instead looks over past Sonia and Gundham at Byakuya who is still deeply engrossed in the book they’re reading. Even after everything, all the shouting and grumbling, they haven’t looked up a single time. Not even a flinch. 

  Narrowing his eyes further he tries to get a good look at what the book is but the cover is perfectly hidden by Byakuya’s hands. He can’t even get the slightest glimpse. But what could be keeping them this focused despite everything? 

  “Do you agree Byakuya…?” He calls out loudly, praying its enough to finally get his attention.

  But even then, nothing. Not so much as a batting eyelid. 

  Only when Gundham reaches over to tap Byakuya’s shoulder do they finally look up from their page, “Huh?”

  Blinking wildly they look around the room. For the first time they look wide eyed and innocent but it isn’t exactly an expression that fits them. Instead it feels completely out of place. 

  Leaning towards them uncertainly, Ibuki calls out, “Did you hear what Haji was telling us?”

  “What was he saying?”

  “Ughhh, you need to listen more.” Kazuichi face palms, groaning into his hand, “He was telling us that he spoke with Naegi.”

  At once Byakuya flinches back. It almost feels like they’re going through a loop. Never escaping the repetitive questions. Just like all the others, they sit there wide eyed, asking exactly the same questions, “He’s made contact?”

  Sighing deeply he resigns himself to his fate, going through the series of events all over again. Thankfully everyone stays diligently quiet through the entire thing. Practically hanging off his every word. 

  As he finishes Byakuya nods slowly, their brow furrowed in thought, “I see. I guess that is the most reasonable course of action then.” They might as well be rubbing their chin as they mumble more to themselves than to anyone else. 

  But even now they’re still clinging onto the book, clenching it in their fist. As they mutters they tuck the book down at their side, trying to hide it away as subtly as they can. But unfortunately it does quite the opposite. All it does is draw more of their attention towards the book they’ve been so engrossed in. 

  “Wh-What are you reading…?” Mikan is the first one to broach the topic. She stutters through her words as she leans around to try and sneak a peek at it. 

  “Uhhhh, nothing.” Their casual and stern expression is broken as their hand instinctively moves to cover it. It wasn’t just a coincidence, he just can’t tell if that’s a good thing or not. 

  What on earth could they be reading that they want to hide this badly? What would embarrass Byakuya of all people?

  Ibuki doesn’t let the moment pass her by. Giggling to herself she smirks mischievously at Byakuya, “Oooooh! Nothing…huh…” She sing songs playfully. He almost feels bad for Byakuya…

  “It really is nothing.” Byakuya flushes as they speak. Their hands grip onto the book, covering the spine diligently. Ready and prepared for whatever Ibuki is going to attempt. 

  It’s not just Ibuki they need to be ready for though. Akane is already rubbing her hands, eyes twinkling worryingly. For the first time in what feels like forever, she pushes herself up away from Nekomaru. Shuffling closer and closer to Byakuya. Menace written across her features. 

  “We’ll be the judge o’ that.” She smirks more and more with every step. 

  Voice raising with panic, Byakuya holds out a hand towards Akane. Trying to stop her as if she’s a wild beast on the loose, “Akane.” It does nothing to stop her onslaught though. She keeps pressing forward despite all their attempts. 

  While they’re distracted with Akane, Ibuki seizes the moment and launches herself at Byakuya. Her hand scurry forwards, grabbing onto the book and yanking it away before Byakuya can make any moves. 

  “Yoink!” Her giggle echoes around the room. 

  With all the energy of a hyperactive toddler she sprints across the room, holding her prize up high. For a while she darts about the room giggling until she hops up onto one of the counters. The book falls onto her lap where she can leaf through it at her own discretion.

  Although Byakuya jumps up, ready to give chase, it’s already too late. Before they can make a move, Kazuichi, Mikan, and Akane have descended upon Ibuki. Heads bent over to read the pages upside down. Even if they tried to pry the book the the damage has already been done.

  “Lemme see!” Akane bumps shoulders with Kazuichi. At this point her head might as well be entirely blocking the book as she stares harder and harder at the pages. Trying with all her might to decipher them. 

  For a moment he wonders if the book is in a foreign language or something. Why else would they be staring like that, wide eyed? But before the thought can even fully solidify it is smashed apart by Mikan's confused stutter.

  “B-Baby names…?”

  Almost immediately everyone jumps up from their seats. All previous thoughts completely abandoned in the dust. In their hurry they all push right past Byakuya, ignoring their beet red face. It’s hard not to feel sorry for them as they just look like they want to melt into the floor right then and there. 

  Hajime would be a hypocrite if he looked down on them for it though. Just like all the others he rushes right over, shoving past everyone to try and get the slightest glimpse of the pages. Each of them bash against everyone else. Trying to knock people aside with their shoulders. Vying for the limited space. 

  Sure enough, pages upon page upon page of names are inked onto the paper. Each one accompanied by a list of meanings depending in the Kanji used. Honestly, he’s not sure what they were all expecting to see. Mikan had said everything that needed to be said with those two words and yet they all had to be staring right at it to truly believe it.

  It takes a few seconds to process at first. Its probably about the last book be would have been expecting Byakuya of all people to be reading. After all, how could a book of names keep their focus that much? But the more he thinks about it, the more sense it makes. All their conversations burn brightly in his mind. It's like the last puzzle piece has finally been slid into place.

  Not everyone catches on quite as quickly though.

  “You’re pregnant?!” Ibuki grasps, slapping her hands on her cheeks. The book almost slides off her lap, only saved by the quick reaction of Gundham as he sweeps it up into his hands.

  Nekomaru laughs incredulously, “No, that’s clearly not it - he must have found a pet of some kind!”

  He’s never wanted to slap himself in the face this much in his entire life. Sometimes he wonders why these were the people Junko recruited into her little schemes. Surely there was more hopeful prospects than these at a school such as that. 

  “In this hellish landscape. I think not. What cursed life could take root is such a soulless commune?!” Gundham huffs, flicking through the pages leisurely as if that is the only reason his suggestion was illogical. 

  Sighing to himself he backs away from the gaggle until he's able to catch a glimpse of Byakuya again. They still haven't moved an inch, their face lit up like a Christmas tree and hands curled into fists at their side. 

  Cautiously, Hajime moves closer, expecting Byakuya to flinch or fun off but they remain exactly where they are. Still as a statue. Only when Hajime is close enough that the others won’t be able to overhear does he address his friend. 

  “Any names catch your eye?” He gently nudges their shoulder, praying it will wake them up out of their stupor. 

  Regardless of how red it’s made Byakuya, it makes complete sense to Hajime. It’s nothing to be shamed of in the slightest. All their previous conversations are heavy in his mind. Do they really expect them to just be called Byakuya forever and ever. Forever wearing another’s name. Or have they never even considered it? 

  “No…” Byakuya gently shrugs Hajime off before stalking over to everyone else. No one puts up a fight as they pushes past them to grab the book from Gundham’s hands. “This is a stupid conversation.” Gundham can’t even blink before the book has been snatched away. It’s not like there was anything left for them to see though. They already saw everything they needed to. 

  With a beaming grin sat upon her face, Sonia runs to their side, “I think it is wonderful.”

  Her hand reaches tentatively for his, letting their fingers interlock. He completely expects Byakuya to wrench their hand away but they do nothing of the sort. In fact…they might even be squeezing gently back. Somehow it manages to be somewhat cute - not that you would catch him telling Byakuya that. 

  “Yes, it makes perfect sense.” 

  He tries his best to offer supportive words but no matter how genuine he is Byakuya is unable to accept anything he says. All their opinions are already written off. All they can hear is their own embarrassment, “Hmph…”

  It does make him wonder why they chose to read the book in the room in front of everyone though if this was how they were going to react. Surely someone as smart as them could see this eventuality coming to pass. 

  Humming, Nagito steps forward, his non mechanical hand gently rubbing his chin, “I don’t think a baby name book will help though.”

  “What’s goin’ on? Am I missin’ somethin’?” Akane’s head spins about the room at unheard of speeds. Like a dog desperatley trying to get involved in the human conversations.   

  “Beats me.” Ibuki puffs out her cheeks, exhaling slowly. 

  At this point is it even worth explaining to them? When do they cut their losses and just give up? He wants to sigh but he doesn’t even have the energy for that anymore.

  Luckily Mikan has infinitely more patience than him. And more brain cells at her disposal than the others, “I…I th-think they want to ch-choose a name for themselves.”

  Much to his surprise, even Nekomaru is nodding along as if everything only just clicked, “I see! That’s amazing!” Yet somehow his overwhelming cheeriness makes it hard to stay completely mad at him. Even Byakuya can’t possibly write off the pure kind of honesty that oozes from Nekomaru. 

  However when he turns to check on Byakuya once again he’s met by a very different sight.  With Sonia still holding one hand, Ibuki hops off the counter and grips their other hand. The very same one that is still maintaining a death grip on the book. He didn’t think Byakuya could turn any more red but apparently he was wrong. Being pulled in both directions they’re completely trapped. Unable to escape any of their watches. He can’t help but feel bad for them. There’s nothing they can do but listen to everyone’s honeyed words. 

  “You should let us choose a name for you! Something to suit your overflowing awesomeness!”

  “You deserve a legendary title befitting of your stature amongst us.”

  “Y-Yes…names chosen by friends are always special.” 

  Mikan’s voice is so soft amongst the chaos that it almost gets washed away and yet of all the people in the room, she’s the one that manages to catch Byakuya’s fleeting gaze. Well and truly melting them with a single look. He half expects them to spontaneously combust on the spot but instead the flush in their cheeks slowly dies down. Instead of hunching over he stands up straight. Lifting his head up almost as high. 

  Sensing a good opportunity to sweep in, they tilt their head to one side. Meeting Byakuya’s gaze just like that, “A name of your own is always important.” He speaks up, praying that just this once his words will get through. Praying that they remember some of their conversations for just long enough to let the words to sink in. 

  Sure enough… 

  They gently shake off Ibuki and Sonia, letting their arms fall limply back to their sides. No one makes any moves as they slowly walk past them. But instead of running off they stumble over to the couch slouching back down. The book goes tumbling onto the cushions beside him. Bouncing softly before settling, the pages splayed open. 

  Their head drops into their hands, drooping down awkwardly. The rest of them don’t even dare breathe as they sit there motionless. Each and every one of them simply hangs off their every breath, waiting for them to say something. Anything. 

  “I…I don’t even know where to start.” They groan, utterly defeated. But the fact they’re even saying that brings the touch of a smile to Hajime’s lips. 

  With Byakuya’s head turned away from them, the rest of them all the share a quick look. Offering supportive smiles and wink before they finally shuffle over. All of them dropping back down onto the couches. 

  Ibuki and Sonia cautiously take seats right next to Byakuya, waiting to be brushed off but nothing of the sort ends up happening. Everyone else just filters around slowly. Drifting into free spots without needing to exchange a word. 

  None of them are quite sure what to say. It’s not like they know how you’re supposed to choose a name. Why would they? When you’ve just had your name since birth it’s hard to feel the weight of such a moment but when you’re given a choice suddenly everything feels much more important. It’s like tying up your identity in a neat little package. Determining everyone’s first impression of you. 

  He shouldn’t be surprised when Akane is the first one to speak up. Her crooked grin hasn’t broken even for a moment. As always she’s light and sparkling. Always Akane. 

  “Ibuki weren’t wrong before. If we chose your name for ya it’ll be extra meanin’ful.”

  But even as she speaks, Sonia bites down on her lip, hands curling in her lap, “But that is a lot of weight to put on our shoulders. What if we are not up to the challenge?”

  “Fuhaha! We must always tackle challenges head on. If you shy away from the battlefield your blade will never be honed.”

  Gundham’s laughter is enough to spark them all into action. Before they realise it they’re all gathered around the coffee table. Or at least as ‘gathered’ as you can be given the limited space. Even Byakuya has slid off the couch to join them on the floor. The book of baby names is open on the table in front of them, already looking worse for wear. 

  It turns out getting constantly pulled between them all doesn’t make for the best treatment. Especially not when they’re all forcibly turning the pages to try and flick to the names of their choice.

  When they first started it seemed like a good idea but he’s starting to understand Sonia’s point. None of the names they ever come up with feel…right. More like an ill fitting glove than anything else. It certainly doesn’t help when people are instantly nitpicking each one before they’ve even had the slightest chance to consider it. 

  “We should call you Niyuki!” Akane cackles, pointing at the strange looking name on the page. 

  “No thank you…” Byakuya turns up their nose almost immediately. Swallowing hard as they purse their lips as sternly as possible. 

  “Hahaha! I think it’s cute and suits you!”

  “I’m not being called that forever.” Is that a pout? It takes everything he has not to laugh.

  As much as he wants to help, he doesn’t even bother looking at the book. There are many things he can do and help with but this isn’t one of them. Not when he’s surrounded by everyone else. He’s never felt more like a distant observer, but surprisingly he doesn’t mind. In fact, he kind of likes it… 

  It’s not just him either. Nagito is also sat slightly further back. Leaning up against the couch, his head almost completely tilted back to rest on the couch cushion. For a moment he almost thinks the mans eyes are closed but then he catches the slightest glimpse of his iris staring up at the ceiling. Off in his own world.

  “Oh, I like the name Akira!” Sonia slams her hand down on the book before anyone can swipe it away.

  But regardless of how excited she is, it ends up the same way as everything else, “I don’t feel like that fits me…”

  "You could totally be an Akira.” Kazuichi tries to slap Byakuya’s back but all that earns him is a disapproving scowl. And that alone is enough to make Hajime smirk. 

  “Yes, totes!” But even with Ibuki’s stamp of approval they don’t shift their opinion in the slightest. 

  Hajime can’t say he blames them. Even if they like it as a name he can’t imagine ever calling Byakuya that. It doesn’t matter how nice the name is, if it doesn’t fit then it doesn’t fit. 

  “I th-think Rin would s-suit you…” Mikan doesn’t even dare look up as she speaks. 

  But before anyone can even consider her suggestion, they are all distracted by a soft voice behind them. After minutes of silence, it’s now that Nagito finally speaks up. Offering up a name without even looking at the book. “What about…Kazuma?”

  At once silence descends over the room. The name hanging between them. Feeling it turn around in their heads. 

  “Kazuma?” Byakuya hums gently, brow furrowed tightly. 

  “With the kanji for ‘peace’ and ‘genuine’ it feels fitting. I think a name like suits you.” Nagito tilts his head softly to the side. He can’t help but wonder if he’s even aware of how everyone is looking at him. Knowing Nagito it’s hard to be sure of anything. 

  “Kazuma…” They might as well be chanting the name. Feeling it rolling over their tongue. Testing out the feeling of it. 

  “I like that name too. Its super cool and refined, just like you!” Ibuki squeals gleefully. 

  He wants to disagree with her but it’s hard to when she’s right. Cool and refined… That does sort of sum them up to a T. Or at least the version of the person he’s known up until now. 

  However much to his surprise, instead of checking with Sonia or Nekomaru (or even Mikan), the one they turn to is none other than Hajime. Any hint of humor is gone from their face now. Right here and now they look oddly innocent. Wide eyes. Pleading. Hajime can sense they’re trying to read something from Hajime but he has no idea what that could be. There’s no way they’re looking for Hajime’s opinion…right? 

  Nevertheless he smiles warmly, sitting up a little straighter, “Nagito’s right. That suits you.” He clears his throat, trying to avoid the way everyone else is now looking around at him, “Do you like it?”

  “I…” They all wait with baited breath as Byakuya drags out the moment. Their heart beats might as well be the drum roll counting them down. But then with just a few words all the tension is cut away, “I think I do…”

  As if they had just run a marathon or cured cancer, everyone immediately starts clapping. Someone, he can’t place who, even starts cheering out loud. Practically shrieking. He can only imagine how this must all sound from the perspective of everyone in their rooms. They must think they’re all insane but that probably isn’t too different to before. Hell, they’ve had to put up with this for years. Maybe they’re just used to it at this point. 

  “Yay! Kazuma, Kazuma, Kazuma! I can call you Kazu!” Ibuki throws herself onto Kazuma, wrapping her arms around their neck playfully. Kazuma tries to harden their expression to give her a disapproving look but they’re, of course, completely unsuccessful. But he must say he likes it better this way. 

  A light feeling hangs across the entire room for the rest of the day. Even as they sit amongst the chaos of Ibuki and Sonia running rampant through the kitchen. Nothing can bring down the mood. Most of them are smart enough to steer well clear. Not Mikan though. She is trapped on the dining table right in the splash zone. Neither Sonia nor Ibuki seem to notice her getting sprayed with flour and sugar. 

  The book of names still rests on the coffee table. They don’t even bother closing the somewhat tattered pages. No one even gives it a second thought. 

  No one but Hajime at least. 

  No matter how much he tries to pull his gaze away, his head always turns back that direction. He should be helping Ibuki and Sonia. Or he should be celebrating with Gundham, Nekomaru, and Kazuma. Or even hiding away with Kazuichi and Nagito. But instead he’s just stuck on the couch trying not to look at the damn book. 

  Names spin around in his mind. Clinging onto him. Digging their claws in. 

  He should have know this day would come eventually… With Kazuma all sorted with their new path, where does that leave him. What is his name? It’s all well and good talking about names and identities but ever since he’s woken up he’s been running from that himself. 

 Kazuma had asked him once before what he wanted to be called but he wasn’t sure back then… 

  Almost as if they can read his mind, Kazuma slowly wanders over, head hanging low as they step closer and closer. Even as they sit down beside him, they don’t say a word. It’s not until they’re pressing a glass into his hand that he seems to wake up and look at the room around him once more. 

  Clearing his throat he offers Kazuma a gentle smile, “Nice to meet you Kazuma.” Maintaining the smile he takes a small sip of the drink. It’s far too sweet - some sickly fizzy drink - but he takes another sip anyway. Letting it settle on his tongue. 

  “Nice to meet you too...” Kazuma holds out a hand towards him. 

  Without a second thought he reaches out to take it. Enjoying the warmth that radiates from their skin. Soft. Soothing. Smothering. 

  “You can call me Hajime.” 

  “Hajime it is.”

  As he takes another sip of his drink he basks in the uncomfortable sweetness. For a moment he can almost pretend it’s nice. 

Chapter Text

23/05 - 05:56

  Yawning he steps out into the corridor, stretching out uncomfortably. It must be early morning at this point but he lets himself be carried forward by his stomach. It’s not like he’s getting any more sleep now anyway. He might as well start getting some food now before the place is crawling with people. For once he’s starting to miss the time before they had everyone awake and about. Back when he could have a silent breakfast.

  Still rubbing his eyes, he stumbles into the communal area. Slowly padding down the dark hallways. Shadows stretching out everywhere. Maybe it’s because of the darkness or maybe he really is just far too tired, but it takes a few seconds for his brain to catch up to the world around him. He's already right in the middle of the kitchen before he notices the soft sighing and creaking coming from the dining table. The perfect silence completely broken. 

  Slowly lowering his arm, he stops in his tracks to examine the room. Sure enough he isn’t alone in the room. A large shadow is hunched over, head resting in their hands. It’s not like he’s been being quiet as he entered but whoever it is seems as unaware that they have company as Hajime was. 

  As his eyes adapt to the darkness, the figure comes into view. It’s none other than Nekomaru, his head hung low. If he wasn’t still sat relatively upright it wouldn’t be hard to mistakenly assume he was sleeping. 

  For a few seconds he remains right there. Just watching Nekomaru. But no matter how long he stays there Nekomaru never once sits upright.

  Cautiously, he shuffles backwards until he hits the wall, his hand reaching to gently flick on the light. At once the entire room floods with a dazzling - almost blinding - light. They’re both left bearily blinking. Trying to save themselves from the assault on their eyes. 

  Wincing he rubs at his eyes once again, brow furrowed, “Nekomaru? Are you okay?”

  Nekomaru’s arm is still firmly planted in front of his eyes as he groans uncomfortably. He would be lying if he said he didn’t feel a little bad. Some light would probably do them both some good though.

  But eventually he does manage to free his eyes. Braving the brightness, “Huh? Oh, it’s you.” He groans once more, tucking his head down until it’s almost completely hidden away, “I’m not okay…”

  Of cour - wait…no? 

  He stares at Nekomaru like the other man is speaking in tongues. He might as well be. Hajime can’t for the life of him remember the last time someone honestly admitted they weren’t feeling okay. Have they ever?

  As soon as the shock has worn off and he regains his motor function he slinks forward. Sliding into a chair opposite from Nekomaru. It takes him a few seconds to figure out where he should even be putting his hands. Flailing them about. Stuck between reaching out tenderly towards Nekomaru and keeping his arms tightly tucked away at his side. In the end he lets himself get stuck in this middle. Hands laid out on the table, still a few centimeters away from Nekomaru but far enough out that he looks completely awkward. 

  “What happened?”

  Nekomaru groans yet again. His hand winding into his hair and tugging at the strands, “It’s Akane…”

  Of course it is. He doesn’t even need to give it a second thought. Even at a time like this he’s still worrying about her. Then again, who wouldn’t after getting a good look at her?

  Even still he asks, “Is she okay?”

  Silence. They both sit there, breathing in the moment. The more he sits there, the clearer it is he is hanging off of Nekomaru’s every breath. Reading into his every muscle twitch and stuttering movement. 

  “She is getting weaker and weaker. She’s letting herself waste away.” A hand runs down Nekomaru’s face as he speaks. 

  “Well that’s nothing new…” He mutters softly. Keeping his voice as low as he can.

  Having her out and about might be slightly less worrying than how she had been before but that’s not enough to distract them from the state of things. Nothing would be enough to distract them from that. It doesn’t matter how much she smiles or messes around, she can’t trick their eyes. She hasn’t even been trying to. 

  It does make him wonder why the sudden early morning brooding though. If this has been entirely obvious from day one then what has sparked this all of a sudden? 

  Nekomaru’s sigh reverberates from deep in his soul, “You might be right. It feels wrong though after seeing how she was in the Neo World Program. I almost forgot what she used to be like.”

  He can’t say he blames Nekomaru on that one. Bit by bit that version of Akane is drifting back into the past again. Right back to where she belongs. 

  “It’s not as bad as it could be. Her personality is at least more like it used to be now.” He offers it up weakly but that only makes Nekomaru bark out a laugh. The sound almost makes him jump out of his skin. 

  “Ha. What a naive thought.”

  “Well what more can we do?” He bristles slightly, trying to stop himself from scowling, “You weren’t here when we first woke up but if you had been you would understand. She wouldn’t even come out of her room. At least now she’s spending time with everyone.”  

  No one else saw how she used to be. It’s a miracle she’s even willing to hang out around them. Only Sonia, Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko can properly understand. Even if they try to imagine it they can never fully appreciate how things could be. 

  But then his mind finally catches on. Maybe they can understand. After all, isn’t it basically the same thing they’ve been seeing with Teruteru now. Locked away. Sealing themselves up. Refusing food. They’re both cut from the same cloth. The only difference is that Akane is now willing to at least engage with them all.   

  Of course, even with his explanation, Nekomaru just shakes his head slowly. Searching for the right words to make Hajime understand. 

  “She’s going to waste away. Last night we were in here after everyone left and she could barely even walk back to her room.”

  “It was that bad…?”

  Even with everything he’s seen it's oddly hard to imagine. Just weeks ago the same thing had been happening as they were recovering from the program but she had been getting better, right? There’s no way Nekomaru would lie though. What reason would he have? 

  Sure she was still as thin as ever but she had seemed pretty good yesterday. She didn’t exactly have any issues running about with everyone else. It’s hard to reconcile that with what Nekomaru is saying. It certainly explains the brooding though.

  “How did you get her to start coming out of her room?” Nekomaru asks tentatively. As he does he raises his head, resting his chin on his hands as he looks Hajime up and down.  

  He pauses, trying to recall what had happened. It might have just been a few days or weeks ago but it already feels like years have passed. Everything from before the others woke up is just a distant dream. A nightmare. Blurring and barely visible on the horizon. 

  “I’m not sure… She just came out one day to sort out my hair for me.”

  He doesn’t remember doing anything differently on that day or the day before. One day she had been sealed up, refusing to even look their way, and the next she had been happily out and about. Dragging him off without a second thought. He hadn’t exactly put much stock in it at the time. Honestly, the fact she was out felt far more important than the why. 

  It’s probably not what Nekomaru wanted to hear though. However if anyone knew a way to coax her into making improvements it would be Nekomaru not him. He’s not shortsighted enough to think talents given to him by Hopes Peak are enough to beat out Nekomaru’s knowledge of the woman. 

  “Hmmm…”

  “It’s not just her either.” Hajime adds, subconsciously running his finger along the wood of the table, “I mean you saw Teruteru, right?” 

  “You’re right…they are both doing…poorly.”

  That’s certainly one way of saying it. Poorly barely even begins to scratch the surface though. And he gets the feeling it might not be a surface they want to be scratching all that much. 

  He can’t help but feel a little guilty at the thought of Teruteru. It’s not like they did great with Akane - far from it - but they still made more of an effort than they did with Teruteru. There have been no bowls of food left steaming outside the door. No knocking. No calling. No attempting to drag him out. They’ve basically just backed off. Leaving him to himself. 

  The closest they ever got was when Akane checked the kitchen and found Teruteru but he never even found out what happened that night. It’s soley between the two of them. 

  “I haven’t seen him eat a thing since he woke up. And Akane’s been throwing her food away. She did it at the party.” He rips off the band aid, already wincing just thinking about how Nekomaru will respond. 

  It’s not like its the most surprising information in the world. They could probably all have guess that was happening. But still…that doesn’t change the feeling in the moment. 

  He prepared for Nekomaru to be angry at him for not bringing it up. Or for him to be dejected. Maybe even mad at Akane. But he shows no response at all. Just hard lines and stiff features as he hums quietly. 

  And then, with no warning at all he suddenly stands up, practically throwing the chair backwards. His focus is wholly directed at the corridor. Immovable and unshakable. Hajime doesn’t even have the chance to stop him before he’s started marching off to do gods knows what. A million possibilities race through his mind and not a single one of them is good.  

  “Wait! Nekomaru!” He jumps up and makes chase as fast as he can, hot on Nekomaru’s heels, “What are you doing?!” But no matter how much he calls, Nekomaru doesn’t slow down at all. Not until he reaches Akane’s door. 

  “I’m tired of watching them kill themselves.”

  And with that he yanks open Akane’s room. Neither him nor Akane can do anything to stop him barging in completely uninvited. A runaway train headed on a collision course. 

  In one final last attempt he calls out, “Nekomaru!” But his calls fall on deaf ears. All he can do is watch in horror from the doorway as Nekomaru heads straight for Akane.

  Given the time of day he had almost been expecting her to be asleep in bed but that’s not the case at all. Instead she’s leaning against the side of her bed, head resting on her knees. Not asleep and yet still sat there, almost motionless. 

  But as soon as the door flies open she lifts up her head, eyes wide and brow furrowed. At first she doesn’t move, stunned into complete silence. Those first few seconds are all Nekomaru needs to bend down and grab ahold of her, hoisting her over his shoulder with ease. 

  Once upon a time it may have required a little effort - he remembers all too well how much effort it had taken to hoist her toned body back in the beach house in the Neo World Program - but not he might as well be carrying a pillow. His legs don’t even buckle as he chucks her over his shoulder and lifts her up off the ground. 

  Sure, her legs kick back at him ferociously but a single hand is enough to pin her legs down . No matter how much she fights back there’s nothing she can do. 

  “Nekomaru get the fuck off‘a me!” Her head whips to and fro frantically but Nekomaru doesn’t even flinch, “Lemme go!” She tries to bite at him like a feral animal but it does nothing to slow Nekomaru down as he begins marching her out of her room. 

  He should probably do something…right? Stand in Nekomaru’s way or demand he put her down. Regardless of his reasoning, forcibly carrying her like that isn’t the right solution. 

  But even though he knows that, he doesn’t take a step forward to help her. Not even as she bites into his forearm hard enough for blood to start dripping. It’s only when she starts screeching like a banshee that he finally snaps out of it, waving Nekomaru down somewhat.

  “Come on, you should probably put her down. You can’t just manhandle her.” He holds out a hand as Nekomaru approaches the doorway. Forming a pathetically flimsy barrier.

  God, this would look terrible if someone was to venture out of their rooms now. It’s honestly a miracle no one has. Sure, the walls dampen some of the sound but if he could hear Fuyuhiko having a nightmare way back then, there’s no way they can’t hear Akane’s feral screeches. 

  It seems even though he’s the least sturdy wall in existence, it’s just about enough to grind Nekomaru to a halt. At least temporarily anyway. He rolls his eyes and his shoulders twitch slightly. Shifting Akane a little until she’s positioned more comfortably on his shoulder. 

  “Fine, I’ll let you go if you can break free.” He grumbles with a gravelly voice. His voice commanding even over the sound of her screeches. 

  At first he assumes she hasn’t heard over her own cries but after a few second she falls still and silent. Unmoving. Completely rag dolling over his shoulder. 

  “What -?!”

  “If you are strong enough to break free then I will let you do anything you want.” Nekomaru growls sternly like he’s nothing more than a parent disciplining their disobedient child. 

  Cautiously, Hajime begins backing away, ready to give them as much space as they need. It certainly helps that he’s going to be out of the kicking and headbutting reach. And most importantly, biting range. He would rather not see Akane make an attempt at him, no matter how unsuccessful it might be. 

  “So what, I have’ta be stronger than you to be healthy now?” She hisses, still thrashing her head but at least the screeching has stopped. 

  “The Akane I knew before would have found it easy.” Nekomaru chuckles but none of them are fooled into thinking there is any actual humour there.

  “That don’t mean shit.”

  “The Akane I knew would have cared.”

  That’s enough to make her stop. Like the plug has been pulled in one swift movement. She simply hang there, seething. Tiny, unmistakable tears clinging to the corners of her eyes. 

  “Fuck off.” She mutters under her breath. Malice seeping off of her in waves. 

  She’s already said enough though. No more words need to be exchanged. Sure she might not have verbally acknowledged him but her body language said everything that Nekomaru needed. 

  With his resolve only hardened, Nekomaru marches forward past Hajime. But much to his surprise, instead of heading back down towards the communal area he storms further up the corridor. Planting himself in front of one of the doors. Both hand still firmly pinning Akane down. Even if she isn’t screaming anymore he’s not taking any chances. Hajime gets the feeling that a lapse for a single moment is all she would need. 

  Growling he nods over at Hajime, readjusting Akane slightly as he stands in front of the door, “Hajime, get the door for me.”

  He falls in line straight away, rushing over to the door immediately. Even if he didn’t remember where people were staying he wouldn’t need to ask about this room. There’s only one person who could be staying in here. 

  The door swings open with ease. Does no one around here bother locking their doors? Part of him feels somewhat honored at the trust they’ve place in them (that him and Nekomaru are now flagrantly breaking…well done). But the other part of him is dumbfounded by their stupidity. It’s a miracle they’ve survived this long… 

  Unlike Akane, Teruteru is actually in bed. Tucked up unaware of what is about to hit him. If he didn’t feel bad before then he most certainly does now. 

  Hajime isn’t sure what it is that actually wakes up Teruteru. Maybe it’s the crashing of the door. Or maybe it’s the sound of Akane struggling. Or maybe it’s neither of those and it’s instead when Nekomaru drops Akane like a sack of potatoes onto the mans sleeping form. But either way it doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is that Teruteru is rudely jolted awake, a squirming Akane writhing in his bed. The poor man is left rubbing his eyes, looking around blearily as his brain tries to slowly wake itself up.

  “Akane? Nekomaru? Hajime?” His mouth seems to move before his brain. Every thought stilted and awkward.

  “Sorry for the intrusion…” Hajime clears his throat awkwardly but the apology falls a little short given the situation.

  “What’s going on?” Teruteru claws at the covers, trying to keep them wrapped around him despite Akane’s sudden movements.

  “We're having an intervention.” Nekomaru crosses his arms as he bellows out across the room. He stands directly in front of the bed, forming a rock hard wall between them and freedom. Unsure of what else to do, Hajime slinks into the doorway, blocking it off just like Nekomaru. In for a penny, in for a pound at this point.

  He’s starting to regret not stopping Nekomaru sooner. To think, he could be enjoying some nice food right now but instead here he is holding his friends hostage. Not quite how he saw his morning going. He doubts many people do though. Then again this wouldn’t be the first time Nekomaru has kidnapped people so perhaps it’s not as strange as he might have thought.

  “An…intervention?” Teruteru raises his eyebrows incredulously. As if he can’t possibly imagine what they might need to intervene on.

  “He’s lost his mind!” Akane spits angrily but Teruteru and Nekomaru completely ignore her.

  “I refuse to let you both go on like this so me and Hajime are putting our foot down.”

  “You and Hajime, huh?” Teruteru looks him up and down once. And twice. Eyes narrowing further and further each time.

  “I’m gonna stand here and not let either of you leave while Hajime gets you both some food.” Nekomaru says it with such confidence as if this was something they planned out before hand and not a sudden impulsive choice Hajime found himself wrapped up in. 

  Nevertheless he doesn’t bother refusing. If he’s gotten to this point then there’s no point in backing out. Besides, maybe this is what they’ve needed all this time. A little tough love. His gut churns in disagreement but he does his best to ignore it. 

  Following Nekomaru’s instructions he hurries back into the kitchen and begins tearing the place apart, searching for something that would be appropriate for Akane and Teruteru of all people. Given the time he has available he doubts he’ll be able to make anything that appeals to Teruteru’s palate but if he can just find something that won’t destroy their stomachs then they’ll be making progress. 

  Eventually he settles on some canned chicken soup. Far from gourmet but given the situation its about the only fitting thing. Tipping two cans into two bowls he shoves them both in the microwave, letting the light flicker on as the bowl spin around slowly. 

  Every second that ticks by feels like hours. He can feel every individual beat of his heart. A metronome hurrying him along. Part of him wants to see how Nekomaru is getting along but he would be lying if he said it wasn’t nicer out here away from the heavy tension. 

  Nevertheless it’s a relief when the microwave finally dings and he’s free to head back. Logically he knows he should probably take the extra few seconds to grab something to cover his hands but at this point he’s lost the energy to care. The warm enticing notes of the soup already making his mouth water. The sooner he gets the bowls away from him, the sooner he can go back to forgetting the grumbling of his stomach. 

  And so, gripping both bowls in his bare hands, he carefully stalks down the corridor and back to Teruteru’s room. As he steps in he’s greeted by complete silence. Not even Akane is making a noise now. Have they just been staring at each other the entire time he’s been gone? He swallows the lump in his throat. 

  “Thanks Hajime.” Nekomaru takes the bowls from Hajime without even asking before thrusting them at Akane and Teruteru. Considering the ferocity with which he thrusts it at them it’s a miracle he doesn’t spill hot soup all over them both, “Eat this. Both of you.”

  Without many other options they both are forced to grab onto the bowls, holding them awkwardly outstretched as if they had never come across soup before in their life. 

  “I’m not eating this.” Teruteru wrinkles up his nose. He holds the bowl as far away from him as he can - which admittedly isn’t exactly far…

  “I’m not leaving here until you’ve eaten the entire thing.” Nekomaru folds his arms, casting a harsh shadow over them both. With them both sat down on the bed he is towering over them both even more than usual. Staring them both down menacingly. 

  But no matter how imposing Nekomaru is, it does nothing to Akane’s defiance, “You can’t make us.”

  This really isn’t getting anywhere, Hajime sighs to himself. 

  Should he really be letting Nekomaru do all the hard work? Maybe it’s time for him to pull a little more of his own weight. 

 Trying to muster the right words, he steps up to Nekomaru’s side. Surely there’s something he can say that will get through to them. His mind is consumed by Alter Ego’s suggestion. Connections, huh…

  “Look, we’re just worried about you both. We’ve finally gotten everyone back and alive but it feels like we’re on the verge of losing you both again.” He tries to plead with them both but they both tilt their heads away, almost perfectly in sync with each other. 

  Do they still not get it?

  White hot rage sears through him. Raging brightly. They’re not stupid - no matter how they may seem at times. There’s no way they don’t understand what this is going to do to the rest of them. The pool of people they can rely on is already so small. 

  Well if they don’t understand then he’s going to show them.

  Without another word he grabs the still full bowls of soup from their hands and thrusts them back to Nekomaru who thankfully steps back, not saying a word. Teruteru and Akane are left to blink at him uncertainly, bracing their frail bodies as much as they can. 

  They don’t quite brace quick enough though. 

  He doesn’t wait for permission, he simply reaches his arms out and sweeps them both into a hug. Tucking their heads over his shoulders as he squeezes them tightly. 

  He might not have known them both amazingly well before all this, but he most certainly knew enough about them to notice the way they sank into every touch. Always chasing after it. How they lapped up even the slightest gentle touch from anyone - not even just Junko. He’s just praying nothing has changed after everything that has happened. 

  For a few seconds they just sit there. Neither of them move their arms to hug back but he refuses to let go. Clinging on desperately. His eyes subconsciously screw closed as he prays to any god out there. He really has sunk low… 

  Eventually he starts to whisper softly, letting his mouth lead before his brain. Hoping his instincts are better than his mind right now, “I’m not going to pretend I know what’s going on in your head. It’s impossible for anyone, even me, to understand everything. But we can’t stand here and let you kill yourselves. There are so few people left in our lives that we care about and I don’t think any of us can stand to lose anyone else. I’m not saying you need to change everything but we have let this slide for far too long.”

  He forces his eyes open and leans back just enough so that he can actually see Teruteru and Akane’s faces. He needs to look them in the eyes as he says this. If they believe nothing else then they need to believe this, “If you aren’t going to fight for yourselves then we’ll fight for you.” He clenches his jaw tightly, refusing to back down for even a moment. 

  Nothing. 

  Even now they refuse to look at him. Teruteru’s eyes are tightly knitted closed. Sealed up as much as possible. Refusing to let him in at all. 

  Maybe this was all just stupid. Why did he even bother? 

  Clearing his throat, he tries to pull back. But as soon as he does, Teruteru’s fingers dig into his arm, locking him in. Even Akane doesn’t back away - although she doesn’t attach herself to him the same way. A shot of hope streaks through him, lighting his nerves alight. 

  “Please, let us.” He lowers his voice as much as possible. Dragging out his best begging voice. 

  Neither of them says anything but surely the fact they’re still letting him hug them like this means something…right? Right? There’s no way it can’t mean something!

  They don’t have time to think about that though. They barely even have time to breathe before it happens. Large arms wrap around all three of them, practically crushing them. Any semblance of distance that had been around them before is squished into nothingness. Arms pinning them as tightly together as humanly possible.

  “Come here!” Nekomaru chuffs, holding them all in a death grip. 

  He could swear he can feel warm tears hitting his arm but from this angle it’s impossible to tell who they’re from. Instead he does his best to pretend he has noticed them at all.

  It takes a good three or four minutes for Nekomaru to finally release them. Each and every one of then suck in a deep breath of fresh air as soon as he does, cherishing their freedom for a moment. This time Hajime backs off slightly but he still doesn’t dare fully get up. He simply rocks back off his knees so he’s sat a little further back so he can fully observe both of them. 

  “Whether you like it or not you are going to drag yourselves out of your room at least once everyday,” He stares down Teruteru even as he tries to turn his head and look away, “and you’re going to have a group meal with everyone.”

  “But -”

  “No.” He holds up a firm hand, “We’ve done it your way and now we’re doing it our way. A single meal everyday with everyone else.”

  Will it put them out of their comfort zone? Probably. Maybe that’s what they were lacking though. Even if its just one meal a day, its better than not seeing them at all. Not just Teruteru either. Hiyoko and Mahiru. Peko and Fuyuhiko. The tension is going to die down if they avoid each other. If he’s choosing to trust Alter Ego’s judgement then this feels like the right step forward. Surely anything has to be better than whatever they have already been doing.  

  “And if we don’t?” Akane asks, as defiant as ever. However her voice lacks the usual roguish confidence he’s come to associate so heavily with her. It’s hard to maintain the defiant and rebellious facade when your words and voice are weak. 

  “Then we’re going to bust your room down and keep you under surveillance at all times of the day.” Hajime crosses his arms. 

  Nekomaru made it more than clear that it’s completely possible. Even if they finally wise up and start locking their doors there’s no way that will stop Nekomaru of all people. 

  “You heard Hajime.” As if reading Hajime’s mind, Nekomaru leans over him, clapping his back cheerfully. 

  Akane is scowling, her cheeks puffed out slightly as she tries to pout. The look certainly doesn’t suit her but he couldn’t care less. The only thing that he cares about is the way she huffs, “Fine.” Finally relenting under the peer pressure. 

  Both him and Nekomaru do their best to keep their cool as Teruteru and Akane finally reluctantly accept the now still hot bowls of soup. They don’t exactly take the biggest mouthfuls but he can’t bring himself to care. As long as they’re eating something. Anything. 

  He doesn’t miss the fact that Teruteru never actually accepted the terms. His lips perfectly sealed. Still practically hiding behind Akane as he takes shaky bites of the slightly watery liquid. Now isn’t the time to push him on it though. They’ll cross that bridge when they get there…if they get there. For now he just prays it was enough.

Chapter Text

24/05 - 10:34

  The heat of the kitchen stove is sweltering as he leans over the hobs. Warm air swelling around the room. It would normally be more than a little unpleasant but the heavy smells of slowly roasting beef wafting up from the oven mixed with the rich smells coming from the soup take the edge off of things. They certainly don’t help his aching stomach though.

  Normally if he was cooking alone he wouldn’t have any issues with sneaking a few ‘taste tests’ while he works but with Kazuma and Ibuki working around him he holds back. The last thing they need is Ibuki going to town before they’ve even had a chance to serve up the food. 

  Yet again he had been dragged into the food preparation for their first attempt at a group meal. All the work that went into giving him these talents and they’ve just been utilised to make him into a glorified dinner lady. It’s probably better than setting Sonia loose in the kitchen again though. Much to their relief, Gundham is keeping her occupied for a bit, saving them all from her culinary attacks. 

  “Kazuma, Kazuma, Kazuma.” Ibuki sings playfully as she hacks at the veggies on her cutting board with a knife. Each thump of the blade on the wood acts as the drums for her little song. It works almost too well…  

  Her hair whips back and forth as she brings the blade crashing down onto the unsuspecting chilis, still overflowing with an ungodly amount of energy. If he didn’t know her better he would think someone has been injecting coffee directly into her veins but there wouldn’t be enough coffee in the world to keep that going. 

  Once upon a time he had thought the name was nice. Soothing even. But now it barely even counts as a word. Or at least he can’t convince his brain it is. It sounds more like a jumble of noise that is digging into his brain. Just want he wants to deal with while he’s toiling over a hot stove. 

  “You’re going to wear the name out…” He groans and wipes some of the sweat off his brow with the back of his arm. 

  If he hears that damn name one more time he’s going to rip out his own ears. Maybe they should start checking every draw in the offices for headphones or ear plugs. Better yet, maybe some of the doctors will have some they can lend. 

  “Pftttttt! I’m just breaking it in, duhhhh!” Her cheer is apparently endless. Or if there is an end then no one has figured out how to reach it quite yet.

  “Whatever, come here.” He rolls his eyes and gently reaches towards her shoulder, keeping his hand in fully view the entire time. Much to his relief her smile doesn’t drop as he taps her shoulder. Not even as he gently pulls her in front of the stove, bringing the chilis with her  “Add them now.” He nods into the pot. They should probably add them as fast as they can, lest they become a mushy paste on the board. 

  The three of them drift about the kitchen with ease as they work. Moving around each other without even needing to speak most of the time. Not matter how much noise Ibuki makes, it’s hard to stay even mildly annoyed at her - not that he would let her know that.

  “I have cut the onions for you.” Kazuma gently nudges Hajime with their elbow. 

  “Thanks, Kazu.”

  Kazuma beams, suddenly looking about 5 years younger. Exactly how he imagines they must have looked when they first arrived at Hope’s Peak - fresh faced and hopeful for the future. 

  “You’re welcome, Hajime.” They hold their head high, unable to hide their grin even as Ibuki narrows her eyes at them.

  For once she stops moving, tilting her head to one side. Studying them both as hard as she can. Trying to peer deep into their souls. 

  “What’s going on with you two. You’re being…weird…” Her finger points between them both, her entire face furrowed with thought. It seems silly to explain to her now though. There’s no way she of all people would make fun of them for it - if anything she would be just as happy as them - but that doesn’t dissuade his feelings. 

  “Don’t worry.”

  But nevertheless she keeps suddenly glancing back to them regularly, as if she’s expecting to catch them red handed doing god knows what. They both simply shake their heads, trying to focus on all the preparations that need to be done before lunchtime. 

  Perhaps they should have dragged a few more people out to help. ‘Too many cooks spoil the broth’ sure, but too few certainly doesn’t help. None of them make any moves to get anyone though so they continue on working together. Slowly making more and more progress. 

  “Akane and Teruteru are going to love this!” Ibuki hums happily. 

  Honestly, he’s not actually sure. He might be a talented cook but he has no idea if Teruteru would ever be able to enjoy his cooking. Especially when it’s been made with the assistance of Kazuma and Ibuki. Not to mention he doesn’t exactly seem to be in the right state of mind to be enjoying any food right now. 

  Once upon a time he would have been certain that Akane would be all over his food but nowadays who knows. It wouldn’t be the first time she’s chucked out food he’s prepared. They can’t just cater to Akane and Teruteru though.

  “I hope so…I think it might not be as easy as that though.” Kazuma sighs as they stir the soup on the stove absentmindedly. 

  “Today can be a kind of trial. We’ll see how it goes…” He tries to shrug casually as if he couldn’t care less. Just this once he needs to their group plans to not be a disaster. They’re owed this one. Surely they’ve built up enough of Nagito’s bad karma to start getting some more positives… 

  Thankfully Ibuki is there to shove them both playfully, dragging them both back to reality, “Stop being such debbie downers! If you keep your head in the rain clouds you’re only ever going to see rain.” She huffs, holding her head high, “How could they not love all this?! My mouth is already making a waterfall at just the smell!”

  “I guess so.” 

  Positive thoughts…positive thoughts… 

  He does his best to avoid thinking about everything that could possibly go wrong as they continue on. Listening to Ibuki is probably the smartest thing to do now. 

  He’s so wrapped up in the cooking he doesn’t notice what Ibuki is doing before it’s too late. Not until he turns around and see the chaos laid out before him. Pots and pans have been strewn across the counter, all upturned with the bottoms of the pans facing up. And behind them all is Ibuki with two chopsticks in her hands. Despite her innocent smile, she’s never looked less innocent. And when it comes to Ibuki of all people that’s impressive.

  “Ibuki…” He starts to raise his eyebrows but before he can even finish his thoughts she’s flashed him a wicked smile.

  Then her chopsticks come crashing down onto the metal. 

  Hajime has time to slam his hands over his ears but poor Kazuma who hadn’t noticed what was happening is left exposed. At once they jump out of their skin, whipping around at record speed.

  “What on earth are you doing?!” Kazuma barks out, eyes bulging wide. 

  “Playing drums, duhhhh!” 

  As if to try and demonstrate her point once again, she brings her chopsticks crashing down. But instead of stopping at the one beat, she keeps going. Crash after crash after crash. Building up the sound until it’s an orchestra roaring throughout the room. 

  He wants to hate it. He really wants to. But then he would be lying…because even if the volume makes him want to hunch over and cover his ears, the beat is almost too good. In the back of his mind he could swear he recognises the tune from somewhere. But no matter how hard he focuses, it’s always just out of reach. Taunting him. 

  Even Kazuma can’t seem to summon any complaints. Their mouth hanging open as they watch the way Ibuki’s hand move about with ease. Coaxing the music out more than just making it. 

  “Hehe! Ibuki has left you speechless with her radiance.” She spins the chopsticks around her finger with ease. 

  “It's been too long since I last heard your music.” Kazuma hums, leaning back against the counter. Despite their serious expression, the corner of their lip is unmistakably upturned. 

  He tries to think back on when he would have last heard it outside of the Neo World Program. There were a few times when he passed by the concerts put on by Hiyoko and Ibuki but they hadn’t exactly been appealing. All loud noises and bodies pressed together. Hot air and sweaty people. About the furthest thing from a place he would choose to be.

  But in spite of that he still finds himself feeling a little regretful that he’s never truly taken the time to listen to her before. The closest he’s gotten is the funeral for Mahiru and the party for Fuyuhiko in the Neo World Program but it’s not like he was exactly taking the time to pay attention to Ibuki’s playing specifically at those times. 

  “There aren’t many instruments around so it can’t be helped.” He shrugs and turns his back on Ibuki and Kazuma; trying his hardest to refocus on the cooking. Trying and failing…

  “I know! It’s super uber annoying! What’s the point of this place without any music?!” He can hear her growling through gritted teeth. And from the corner of his eye he can just about make out her glaring up at the sky as if blaming any gods above for their situation. There are a few things he would want to blame them for before thinking about the instruments. 

  “Well perhaps you should make your own instruments.” The words slip out with ease. He barely even needs to think about it. 

  After all, Ibuki is nothing if not creative and imaginative. If she’s happy using pots and pans as her drum kits then he refuses to believe she couldn’t piece together a few more pieces. 

  Part of him almost wants to suggest that Kazuichi can help her, but he holds his tongue. He’s put Kazuichi up to more than enough. He should probably not suggest anything without getting Kazuichi’s consent - especially when it comes to Ibuki and her enthusiasm.

  “You betcha!”

  She seems to take that as enough of an endorsement from them both because she immediately jumps to life. The pots and pans come back in full force, drowning out any other sounds in the kitchen. He can only imagine what the others must be thinking right now. At least it’s blatantly obvious who’s to blame for all the ruckus. 

  Not wanting to shut her down, him and Kazuma simply go back to work. Kazuma shifts slightly further down the counter until they're almost brushing Hajime’s shoulder. Neither of them even bother trying to speak. They both already know how that will go down. Instead they let Ibuki’s music accompany them. And if they find themselves gently humming along then that can just be their little secret. 

  Much to his surprise, she’s able to keep up the pace for far longer than he could have ever imagined. Food is prepared and set off in the oven or stored away in the fridge and she’s still playing. Every time he thinks she’s going to stop she just keeps going on. It’s honestly impressive. 

  It’s only when him and Kazuma brush off their hands and turn back around that she finally stops, still grinning mischievously. Her eyes twinkling the entire time. 

  “Whatcha think! Are you blown away yet!” She half pants, wiping her brow with her sleeve but she still doesn’t drop the chopsticks. How is she not ready for a break yet?

  “I’m jealous. I was never good at music.” Kazuma sighs wistfully, looking far past Ibuki’s shoulder. 

  “Bahhh! That’s what losers say! Everyone is good at music. You just need to let your soul sing!”

  “You make it sound so easy.” They chuckles softly, dipping their head as they do so. 

  They're not exactly wrong. Ibuki makes it all seem like second nature. Music is her very being. Of course he’s aware that unlike him, they all must have put in countless hours of work to get to where they are now. Surely there must have been a time when music was still a struggle even for her but he can’t imagine it for the life of him. It feels illegal to even consider. 

  But unfortunately he’s ripped away from his thought by the playful and mischievous call of Ibuki, “Ooooh Hajime should blow us all away with his skills.” She claps with boundless enthusiasm. Completely unrelenting. 

  He probably should have seen this coming.

  “I’ve never even touched a drum.” He turns to Kazuma for back up but of course they choose now to just shake their head. Perfectly mimicking Ibuki’s devilish grin. 

  “But you’ve got the soul of a musician wriggling around in you. I’m going to free it!” She wiggles her finger as she speaks, inching closer and closer to Hajime. Even when he tries to back off she just keeps chasing him; all the while trying to shove the chopsticks into his hands. 

  “Hajimeeeee! Hajimeeeeee! Come on Hajimeeeee! Show us your skills!" She giggles wildly as she prances around the room. Every dragged out call chips away at him. Slowly wearing him down bit by bit until…

  “Fine, fine. Give it here.” He sighs, forcing a scowl. 

  Before he can change his mind Ibuki has pushed the chopsticks into his hands. Not wanting to give him any chance to flee, she grips his shoulders from behind and pushes him forwards until he properly positioned. Only then does she skip over to Kazuma, forming a mini audience that is hanging off of his every movement.

  “I really haven’t ever used drums before - just a word of warning.” 

  Of course he knows that doesn’t really mean much. There’s a million things he can probably do perfectly that he’s never tried before. But nevertheless it feels necessary. He’s never had to sit and and be judged by someone he’s taken the talent from. The closest he’s ever gotten is Kazuichi but the other man never seemed to pay much attention to Hajime’s mechanical work. 

  “Pfffft, I’m sure you’re gonna be amazing!” He has no idea where her unwarranted confidence comes from but that’s enough for him to take his place properly. Rolling out his shoulders experimentally. 

  Instinctively, his eyes close to let him drift away. His body slowly relaxing, releasing all the pent up tension clinging to him. Shutting down his entire mind he submits to his body. Allowing muscle memory to take over. 

  From there everything goes dark. He’s faintly aware of his hands moving but everything blurs together. He can’t even hear the sound he’s making. Nothing but the fizzing of static breaks through past the veil into his mind. 

  He doesn’t even know when his hands stop moving. They are just suddenly at his sides once again, chopsticks hanging loosely.

  “Eeeeeee! I’m jealous now. Hajime is too perfect.” Ibuki’s squeal is the thing that knocks his brain free, jump starting him once again. He shakes his thoughts loose, digging his nails into the heel of his palm in an attempt to ground himself. 

  “Stop that.” He feels his cheeks heat up but he just scowls, shoving the chopsticks back into her hands, “It’s your talent anyway.” He clears his throat and stalks back to the kitchen counter, not looking back at the pots and pans. 

  That doesn’t stop Kazuma slipping back up to his side again. They stay just about far enough away to make sure they aren’t touching. 

  With a soft whisper they ask, “What was that song?”

  His cheeks only get warmer and warmer. But no matter how much he strains his mind he has no clue what he could have played. There’s nothing that stands out in his mind. 

  “I don’t know. I sort of blanked it all out.” 

  “Awww, that sucks! Ibuki wanted to listen to that song more.”

  He clears his throat shutting them both down as quickly as possible, “Come on, lets finish plating everything up. I’m hungry now.” He clears his throat shutting them both down. 

  He doesn’t have the energy to deal with this right now. They just need to get this meal done. That should be all he’s thinking about now. That’s all…

~~~

24/05 - 13:38

  Hajime’s mouth waters as he stares out across the spread that lines the table. Sure, he might have made it himself but that only makes him more hungry. But regardless of how much he wants to tuck in, he has to hold himself back. Just for a little while longer. 

  Everyone is sat around the table and he means everyone. It had taken a little work but honestly, not as much as he had expected all things considered. Even Teruteru and Akane had come along without so much as a question, seating themselves together at one end of the table. United in their solidarity. 

  He had been hoping for a relatively peaceful meal. They’ve earned it after these last few weeks. But of course it would never be that easy. As soon as he had taken his seat next to Nagito, Hiyoko had strutted forwards, dragging Mahiru by the hand. Without even asking she had plopped herself into the chair beside Hajime, forcing Kazuichi to slink around to the opposite side of the table.

  He has no idea what the etiquette is for this situation. Is he supposed to ask why she’s sitting there? Or is he meant to just go along with it…? But as soon as he sees Hiyoko’s devilish grin he holds his tongue. It’s not like the why matters anyway… He just needs to try and ignore Kazuichi’s pouting all meal now. 

  But even though they’re all there, sat around the table they’re stuck staring at the food, unable to tuck in. Sonia had thought it would be a great idea to start brewing tea for everyone. And apparently it’s rude to start serving food before everyone is sat down and ready. Considering it’s just the group of them eating he doesn’t see why this should matter but he doesn’t bother arguing. He simply sits back in his chair and keeps a tight leash on his patience. 

  Slowly Sonia potters about, gently cradling the tea pot as she sets small tea cups in front of everyone. More than anything he wants to be mad at her but seeing the peaceful smile on her face makes it unfairly hard. Sometimes he could swear she does it on purpose.

  “My apologies everyone. I shall pour everyones tea now.”

  Thankfully Nekomaru is there to save them all, “How about we pass the tea pot around as everyone starts getting their food?” He gently pries the tea pot from her hands, taking control for all of their sakes. 

  “Oh, that is a wonderful idea!” 

  At once everyone jumps into action, scooping up all the best food onto their plate as quickly as they can. It’s a cut throat battle but Hajime navigates the table with ease. Sweeping up the best bits without missing a beat. Even as he does so he doesn’t miss the way Nekomaru juggles the table, filling three plates as once apparently not willing to give Akane or Teruteru any wiggle room. The good faith still not earned. 

  “Good nom nom noming!” Ibuki sings, taking in a deep breath of her giant pile of food. Poor Mikan, who is still glued to her side, is forced to stare into the pile as Ibuki presents it like a prize. Displaying it to everyone around the table. Even Fuyuhiko gets a faceful as he rolls his eyes.

  “Ughhhh, I thought we left that behind on the island.” Kazuichi sighs. The meal has only just started but he’s already rubbing the bridge of his nose. 

  “Good nom nom noming is too perfect to be banished to the island! I’m on a one woman mission to bring it back to life!” She says with the utter confidence that only Ibuki would be able to muster. 

  “Ummm, I-I’m sorry if I m-misunderstood but it’s not morning a-anymore…”  

  Ibuki waves off Mikan’s concerns with ease, “Good nom nom noming is perfect at all times of day.”

  “Sure…” Kazuichi rolls his eyes but Ibuki doesn’t seem to notice, already shovelling her food into her face at an impressive speed. Her cheeks puffing up like a hamster. 

  It’s not just Ibuki. For a few seconds the entire table falls quiet. Nothing but the muffled sounds of chewing echoing around the room. Most of them aren’t even looking around, all completely focused on their own plates. 

  Hajime takes the moment to subtly eye up the other side of the table, peering past all the food to try and get a better look at Akane and Teruteru. If they had thought they would be able to get away with pretending to eat then they were sorely mistaken. Hajime might be the a good distance away but Nekomaru is watching them both like a hawk. Probably counting every spoonful of food that they take. 

  Part of him wants to keep an eye on them for the entire meal. It feels like the second he takes his eyes off of them they’re going to fall apart. However, if he wants them to improve then he should probably at least try to give them a little space. Besides, Nekomaru has it covered. So instead he turns back to his food, taking a big mouthful of beef and leaning back in his chair. 

  At his side, Hiyoko gently pushes her food around on her plate. Her nose is upturned as usual and she has donned a haughty expression but even she can’t hide the way she’s already almost finished her first plateful. 

  “Who even made this?” She grumbles, holding her head up high. It takes everything he has not to smile at that moment. He doesn’t even want to imagine how she would react to him laughing or smiling right now… 

  “Me, Ibuki, and Kazuma.” He nods to his sous chefs, letting them both give Hiyoko a little wave. 

  It all feels so natural that he doesn’t even realise how confusing that might sound to some people until Hiyoko frowns at him, “Kazuma?”

  “Oh yes! The other day we were helping decide on an actual name for them as we cannot go on calling him Byakuya forever. We settled on the name Kazuma. It is most tight!” Sonia jumps in enthusiastically. Hyping up Kazuma with every ounce of her being. 

  Once again the serious and mature mask Kazuma wears is cracked for a moment as they light up with a startling shade of pink. It certainly isn’t helped by the compliments and smiles that begin to bombard them from all sides. 

  For the first time in days he sees Mahiru genuinely smile, her eyes crinkling warmly, “That’s a nice name.” 

  Even Hiyoko can’t avoid being somewhat nice, “I guess it’s not completely terrible…” At least as nice as she seems capable of. Baby steps. 

  “Thanks.” Kazuma tries to clear their throat seriously but it only makes them look even softer, “Anyway, we should be focused on the food not me. I hope it’s to your standards.”

  At this point he’s not even sure if they have standards. Most food is better than things they have been eating for the last few years - perhaps with the exception of Sonia and Mahiru. 

  “Hajime made it so I’m sure it will be perfect!” Nekomaru flashes him a smile across the table but that only makes his cheek heat up uncomfortably. 

  “Oh wait! You haven’t had Hajime’s cooking, have you?” Ibuki leans over to Teruteru, poking his arm over and over. Much to his surprise Teruteru doesn’t seem all that bothered by it though. He looks more checked out than anything else. Pushing his food around on his plate in a similar way to Hiyoko, “I can’t believe you’ve been missing out on all this!”

  “Hajime does the b-best cooking!” Mikan tries to nod encouragingly but the stuttering doesn’t exactly make her sound the most convincing. 

  “No…I don’t think I have.” 

  Reaching over, Akane picks up a small chunk of chicken on her fork, holding it up to Teruteru’s mouth, “You gotta try the chicken. Haji does great meat.” 

  The poor boy has no choice but to give in, letting Akane shove it in. His face is surprisingly stoic throughout everything but Hajime just about notices the way his eyes begin watering slightly. But within a few seconds all hint of the tears are gone and his face is as cold and distant as ever. 

  Not everyone is as big a fan of the meats available though. Across the table he manages to catch sight of Sonia gently rubbing Gundham’s back, soothing the boy as he pouts into his meat free plate. Ever the child. He can’t help but feel a little bad though… He didn’t really think twice about how Gundham would feel about all this. He’s a big boy though - he’ll live. 

  Doing his best to ignore Gundham, he turns back to his food, letting the conversations around him fade away. Voices becoming nothing more than noise in the background.

  Slowly his plate gets emptier and emptier and the conversations around them get louder and louder. The only person seemingly not getting dragged into the festivities is Nagito sat at his side. Even now as everyone is talking and eating, he is simply sat with a book clutched in his metal hand as the other slowly works through the food on his plate. Lost in his own world just like Hajime. 

  “What’s your book about?” 

  God, why did he say that? His mouth needs to just stop talking without some oversight from his brain… 

  It takes a few seconds for Nagito to even realise Hajime is talking to him. Too wrapped up in his own book to notice anything around him. But when he does, he just blinks blankly. Holding up the book as if that’s enough to answer the question. 

  “My book? It’s a murder myste -”

  Hiyoko groans, letting her heads drop down until it smacks into the hard surface of the table, “Ughhh boringggg! I can’t believe you’re talking about books at the feast.” He hadn’t even realised she was listening in. He’d sort of just assumed she would be busy with Mahiru but of course she’s snooping in on him and Nagito of all people. 

  “It’s more a meal than a feast.” He tries to correct her but it only earns him a grumble and an eye roll.

  “Why did I even sit next to you boring people?” 

  “We didn’t ask you to sit with us.” Kazuichi grumbles under his breath, still eyeing up the seat Hiyoko had taken from him. Hiyoko must be able to hear him - even over all the chatter around the table - but she simply turns her nose up at him, crossing her arms grouchily. 

  “Maybe you should teach us what we should be doing at feasts.” He suggests playfully but Hiyoko just sighs, shaking her head disapprovingly. 

  “If I have to teach you then there’s no point.” Her haughty tone is almost enough to make him laugh but he holds himself back. 

  But instead keeping the focus on Hiyoko, Kazuichi turns to Nagito, “What did you used to do at those rich people dinners then Nagito?”

  “Nagito?” Hiyoko tilts her head to one side, finally dropping the haughty look. 

  “Yeah, well he was stinking rich, right. You had the mansion and everything back in the day.” Kazuichi answers flippantly, barely even looking at Hiyoko.

  Of course Hajime had been distantly aware of such a past - Nagito didn’t exactly keep it a secret - but even now he can’t quite imagine it. Nagito doesn’t exactly fit into the model of opulence Hajime has gotten to see in his travels. It’s not just his look. His entire personality and being just seems out of place in that kind of world. It does make him wish he could have seen Nagito at that time. 

  It seems it isn’t just Hajime who can’t quite believe it, “You were rich?!” Hiyoko gasps, mouth falling open. 

  “Did you remember anything about us?” Kazuichi groans, face palming. 

  “I didn’t really do much.” Nagito chuckles softly, “My luck normally got in the way so I usually just played with my dog in the corner of the room.”

  For some reason that suddenly all fits. Everything else might be unbelievable but that he can visualise. In a way that might as well be what they’re doing right now. 

  Hiyoko isn’t quite as impressed though, “Ughhh, you’re all useless.” She’s already sinking down in her chair, trying to hide her face. Who she’s hiding from he has no idea - she’s stuck with them - but he decides its probably best not to say anything. 

  “That’s why you should try to teach us all. I’ll never be as good as you but I can try.” Unfortunately this time as Nagito speaks Hiyoko’s expression begin to shift. Her eyes narrowing as she seems to actually consider the possibility. 

  “You just had to ask again didn’t you.” Kazuichi hisses but it’s already too late. 

  “Fine. You have to listen up though.”

  With that their fate is sealed. The once exciting meal quickly devolves into a long lecture. Who knew someone could say so much about their posture and tone of voice. And that's before they even get to the way they hold their cutlery. Just when they think they’ve reached the end, she starts pointing the next thing wrong with them all.   

  At first their ‘class’ is just him, Nagito, and Kazuichi and it doesn’t take long to determine that Hajime is clearly the star student. But considering his competition he probably shouldn’t get too excited. 

  However as clear as it is that Hajime is the star, it’s equally clear who the worst study is. 

  “This is stupid…” Kazuichi groans, throwing down his cutlery. 

  “Just because you can’t hold a fork properly.” 

  Unsurprisingly Hiyoko’s sneers don’t seem to make for the most effective teaching method. That is unless her aim is to well and truly piss him off. However much to his surprise Kazuichi still sticks around, bowing to Hiyoko’s demands despite the way his vein bulges on his forehead. 

  Although it’s just the three of them being lectured at first, that doesn’t last long. Mahiru might have escaped by being the teachers pet, no such thing protects Gundham and Sonia when they stop chatting and start paying a little too much attention to Hiyoko. The slightest crumb of interest is all she needs to start roping them into her plans. It’s like they’ve started her on an unending crusade. The dam finally bursting. 

  As it turns out the addition of Sonia and Gundham adds competition for both Hajime and Kazuichi’s positions in the class. 

  “Like this?” Sonia holds her hand out towards Hiyoko, demonstrating her perfect technique for holding chopsticks. 

  “Hmmm…it’ll do.” It turns out, in Hiyoko’s class, that might as well be top marks. Despite the lukewarm praise Sonia is beaming, flipping her hair over her shoulder smugly like she isn’t a literal princess (or he supposes queen now).

  But in the end it’s Gundham that saved them all. As skilled as she might be with feasts, her training clearly never covered how to handle Gundham. 

  “Ha! Gundham Tanaka the supreme overlord of ice has perfect posture!”

  Normally Gundham and Sonia couldn’t look more different - their styles are like night and day - but as they both preen themselves and hold their heads up high he’s struck by how similar they are. Their gloating faces shouldn’t look this alike. 

  Hiyoko’s jaw is clenched hard enough that Hajime can hear her teeth grinding with every breath. Slowly wearing down. Her hands are still gripping onto her chopsticks but he’s willing to bet she would be ripping her hair out right now if they weren’t still sat at the table. 

  “No! I’m telling you that you need to get rid of that filthy scarf and sit up properly. You’re too stiff.” She just about manages to hiss through her teeth. Bit by bit she’s turning redder and redder. Lava slowly bubbling up behind her skin. Ready to burst at any second. 

  Not that that dissuades Gundham of all people.

  “Fuhahaha! You jest you fiend! I, Gundham Tanaka, shall teach you the true way to hold yourself.”

  He should probably feel worse for her but it’s hard not to laugh at the scene in front of them all. 

  In the end Gundham is the one to save them all. Pulling out her hair she eventually has to throw in the towel. He has no idea if it’s even physically possible to reform Gundham into a model citizen at this point. Dragging Mahiru behind her she eventually disappears, leaving everyone else to clean up the kitchen. 

  Well almost everyone.

  He had been so wrapped up in Hiyoko’s ‘lessons’ that he hadn’t noticed Teruteru, Fuyuhiko and Peko had all slunk off - presumably all back to their own rooms. However, even without the five of them there’s still more than enough people to pitch in and clean up. If anyone’s earned the chance to skip out on cleaning it’s him but he keeps his lips tightly sealed. At this point he’s just glad he’s not being left basically alone to do all the work. Besides, he doesn’t really mind cleaning up.

  Bit by bit, people start breaking off, heading back to their own rooms as they finish their assigned regions. As the minutes pass more and more people vanish until just him and Nagito are left pottering about this kitchen.

  He knew he shouldn’t have chosen to do the dishwashing duty…

  “Ughhh, of course we’re the last ones left.” He grumbles, pulling out the sink plug as Nagito finishes drying up the last bowl. 

  Even Sonia and Gundham had disappeared, unsubtly slipping off to Sonia’s room without so much as a goodbye. Clearly Hiyoko’s lessons weren’t quite thorough enough. 

  “It could be worse. It’s actually quite calming cleaning up.” Nagito hums, his expression peaceful. He wants to believe that the calmness is just an act but he would just be deluding himself. Of course Nagito is happy to clean up… 

  “Yeah, yeah…” He rolls his eyes. 

  Realistically he only has himself to blame. He’s sure if he had asked people to stick around they would have been happy to. Besides, it’s not like he actually has to do much. He doesn’t want to like it though. 

  But even when he finishes washing up he hangs about, hopping up onto the table to perch on the surface. From there he watches Nagito move about the kitchen, carefully putting everything away. He has no idea when Nagito of all people had the time to learn the location of everything but he instantly finds the location of everything he comes across, gently sliding everything back into place. 

  He should probably go back to his room already. It’s not like he’s doing anything to help. But it still feels wrong to leave Nagito all alone like this.

  What is he saying?

  Nagito probably likes being alone. He’s relatively sure Nagito doesn’t dislike his presence - at least that’s what he assumes from the Neo World Program - but he certainly gives off the vibe of someone who likes his alone time. And yet every time he thinks of leaving guilt washes through him. So instead he just sits there perched until Nagito steps back, drying off his hands properly. Keeping the same put together posture that Hiyoko had taught him earlier he turns to face Hajime, as if waiting for him to do something.

  “I suppose we should head back to our rooms now.” Hajime clears his throat, casually sliding his hands into his pockets. 

  “I suppose so.”

  “Come on then.” Trying to smile confidently, he hops off the table and starts heading down the corridor, making sure to move slow enough so that Nagito can follow after him. When he does catch a short glimpse of the man behind him ,his head is ducked down staring at the ground. Since he’s not looking he only just avoids bumping into Hajime as he comes to a sudden stop in the middle of the corridor.

  “Iz -” But Hajime simply holds his hand up, immediately silencing the other man. 

  The door to Teruteru’s room is just barely open. Not even a crack of light is slipping through but it isn’t quite fully latched. Normally that wouldn’t be of note - he was probably just in a rush and forgot to make sure it had fully clicked closed - but he could swear he heard something from the other side of the door. Even now he has no idea what but he’s sure he heard it. If he can trust anything he can trust his ears.  

  “What’s that?” He whispers, turning around as if Nagito of all people is going to be able to give him an answer. But sure enough all Nagito can do is shrug, keeping his lips sealed. 

  Creeping forwards quietly, he closes the distance between him and Teruteru’s door, leaning his head in close. Not quite pressing his ear to the wood but getting as close as he can before he does. He can only imagine how creepy he would look right now if Teruteru happened to open the door but that isn’t enough to convince him to back off. 

  Is it a breach of privacy…maybe. But he doesn’t have the energy or brainpower to care about that right now. He just needs to hope that Nagito doesn’t go tattling. 

  “What’s wha -?”

  “Shhhh!” He hisses, pressing a finger to his lips, cutting off Nagito as fast as he can. 

  Sure enough, he hears the unmistakable sound of someone retching. Muffed slightly from the distance but still immistakable. His own stomach begins churning at the mere sound but he just purses his lips tighter. 

  Is he throwing up in there?

  It only takes a second to piece everything together. His stomach immediately drops. 

  “Teruteru?” He knocks against the wood of the door, trying not to actually push the door open. “Teruteru, are you okay?” He calls out loudly but the sound of retching doesn’t die down. He can still hear it as clear and loud as ever. Not just him either. Nagito’s brow immediately crumples as he shuffles closer to Hajime. 

  “Maybe we should leave him be.” Nagito gently tugs on his sleeve, tenderly trying to pull him away. But no matter how much he tugs, Hajime refuses to budge. Digging his metaphorical heels into the ground. 

  “What’s the point of getting him to eat if he’s just going to throw it all up?” He growls, pulling his sleeve free. 

  After all the work it took to even get Teruteru out of his room they should have seen this coming. It was blindingly obvious that this would be the outcome of everything. He was being blind to not even consider it. He wants to tear his hair out but he settles on just digging his nails into his palm instead. 

  However despite the sudden jerk, Nagito doesn’t move an inch. He stays right by Hajime, staring at him unflinchingly. It’s easy to forget that Nagito can be as stubborn as him sometimes.

  “It’s not that easy to fix people…”

  “I’m not trying to fix him.” But as soon as he says it he knows its a complete lie. He’s not even sure why he’s lying. At this point he just wants to disagree with Nagito.

  “If you want to help him then busting in there now and humiliating him isn’t going to help.” Nagito might as well be pleading with him. He’s is pretty sure Nagito hasn’t even blinked. 

  “What do you suggest then?” He scowls, crossing his arms tightly. 

  At this point he doesn’t even want to hear whatever Nagito is going to say. He just wants to shove the door open and give Teruteru a piece of his mind but he finds himself waiting in front of Nagito instead. Giving him the time of day. It’s not every day that Nagito is so insistent about something. Normally he would just go with whatever other people said, having no backbone of his own but apparently not this time. 

  “Lets just leave it for today and come up with a plan tomorrow with the others.” 

  It’s not exactly the worst idea. He isn’t going to change Teruteru’s mind by storming in. He would be surprised if he could change Teruteru’s mind at all at this point. But the thought alone leaves a sour taste in his mouth anyway. 

  Gritting his teeth he digs his nail in even further, “Fine. Whatever.” 

  Turning on his heel he doesn’t even wait for Nagito’s response. He just pushes past the other man and begins storming back to his own door. He doesn’t even look back as Nagito calls after him. He just needs to be alone. 

  “Good evening then.”

  But he doesn’t reply. Instead he just slinks back into his own room and throws himself onto the bed. Not even bothering to change his clothes before he buries his face in his pillow. 

Chapter Text

25/05 - 06:00

  In the end he doesn’t sleep at all that night. Instead he spends the entire evening laying in his bed, staring up at the ceiling as if the answer is going to suddenly drop down on him. Of course no such a thing happens though. By the time morning arrives he doesn’t feel any better. His stomach is still churning and his brain is covered in a thick fog. It takes everything he has not to yawn every second. 

  But despite everything, he can’t help but feel bad for how he left Nagito yesterday. Regret overpowering almost everything else. He had just ditched him out in the corridor without a second thought. Probably not his best hour but he was somewhat justified. Maybe. Nevertheless he should probably apologise. Or at least check up on the other man if nothing else.

  In the end that’s what gets him out of bed. He halfheartedly combs out his hair and changes his clothes. He can only imagine how bad he must smell right now after not brushing his teeth or changing his clothes all night. But honestly he’s past caring right now. 

  Shoving his hands into his new pockets he shuffles out of his room, creeping down the corridor to Nagito’s room. He has no idea where the other man might be but he crosses his fingers and prays he’s still in his room. It is late after all so it’s not like it’s out there to make that assumption. If he’s not there then he’ll just have to go around and check the building. It’s not like there are many places to go in this place. Where can you even hide? 

  As he reaches Nagito’s door he comes to a stop, simply standing motionless in front of it. Fist hanging in the air. Unmovable. He knows he needs to at least try and knock but he can’t bring his fist to move at all. It just hags there. Breathing in a rattling breath he shakes his head clear and screws his eyes closed.

  And just like that he knocks. 

  And then silence.

  More silence. 

  He knocks again. 

  Silence again.

  Just when he’s about to turn around, readying himself for the search, the door swings open. Out of no where, Nagito’s head peeks around the door, almost flinching back at the sight of Hajime. But after a second he breaks into a smile, opening the door wider. Despite everything he can’t sense any deception lying behind his smile. Not at all. 

  “Izuru. I wasn’t expecting to see you.” For some reason he’s caught off guard by the name. His brain suddenly stuttering as if he hasn’t heard that name over and over. It’s nothing new and yet knowing that does very little to shake the unease settling over him. Smothering him at once. 

  “You can call me Hajime.” He clears his throat, hunching his shoulders ever so slightly despite his best attempts to play it off. 

  For a split second Nagito’s brow furrows but before he can even blink it’s gone and nothing but the sweet soft smile is left, “Okay then, Hajime. What did you come here for?" He tilts his head slightly, leaning forward to peer down the hallway as if expecting to see an entourage behind him.

  Honestly, he doesn’t really have a plan from here. Maybe he should have taken some time to think about that before coming all the way over here. How hard can an apology be though…? 

  Clearing his throat again he shifts his weight from side to side, “I actually came to see you.”

  “Me?” Nagito frowns as if it’s the strangest thing in the world. Why else would he be knocking on front of Nagito’s room?!

  “Yeah. I just wanted to apologise.” He forces the words out as fast as he can before he backs out. 

  “Apologise?” 

  Is he just going to be a parrot now?

  “Yeah. For yesterday. For leaving you like that.”

  “Oh, that?” Nagito chuckles like it’s the funniest thing in the world, “You don’t need to apologise to trash like me. You were probably right.”

  He sighs deeply. Okay, he should have seen this coming. Of course he couldn’t just apologise and have that be the end of things. 

  “Look, I’m trying to apologise. If I thought I didn’t need to then I wouldn’t. Unless you’re questioning my judgement.” It might not be the most conventional apology but at this point he’s pretty sure the only way Nagito will take it. That is if he even takes it this way. 

  “I see…” Nagito hums for a moment, thinking things through slowly before he finally settles on how to respond, “Okay, apology accepted then.” He gets the distinct feeling that he doesn’t really mean that but it’s not like Hajime can force him to accept it…right…? No. No, he can’t. 

  “I thought of something I can do to make it up to you.”

  While he had been laying there all night the thought had come to him. There’s a small chance it could actually be a really terrible idea but it’s only a small chance. It’s worth the risk…he thinks. Either way, its probably too late to back out now he’s mentioned it. He can’t leave Nagito hanging like that. 

  “You don’t ne -” 

  Before Nagito can finish his thought, Hajime holds out a hand. Almost slapping it directly over Nagito’s mouth. That would certainly be one way to shut him up, “No. I’m doing it. I need to sort some stuff out first but straight after dinner I’ll show you.”

  For a second Nagito just stands there, blinking wildly. But after a few seconds he seems to have settled on how to feel, smiling softly once again, “Okay. I’m looking forward to seeing what you have to show me.”

  “Good.” He lets out a heavy breath, “See you after dinner then.”

  With that settled now he needs to sort out everything else. 

  No backing out now. 

~~~

25/05 - 19:13

  “Can I ask what this plan is yet?” Nagito mumbles, following closely behind him. As close as possible without actually brushing up against him. 

  Basically everyone had disappeared by now, all drifting back off to their rooms after the meal. Thankfully this meal had been slightly less over the top compared to yesterday but he had barely been paying attention to anyone around the table. Him and Nekomaru had been solely focused on Teruteru - staring at him through the entire meal. Everyone must have noticed but no one said a thing. 

  Even after the meal he couldn’t suppress the desire to keep an eye on Teruteru. For now he’ll just have to put some faith in Nekomaru that he can handle the situation. Sorting out the surprise for Nagito has been the only thing distracting his mind at this point. He just hopes it will get easier to ignore as time passes.   

  “No, not yet.” He stays strong, refusing to say a word as the head down the corridor from Nagito’s room towards the common room, “It’s still a surprise.”

  Thankfully Nagito doesn’t keep pushing though, happy to just chase after Hajime, “Okay, okay. I must say I’m excited to see what you have to show me.”

  “It’s gonna be good. I promise.” He says it, more trying to convince himself than Nagito. 

  It’s going to be really awkward if he hates the whole thing. He just hopes he knows Nagito well enough at this point. He’s under no delusion that he fully understands everything about the other man but through the Neo World Program and the last few days he would like to think he knows a thing or two. 

  Biting down on his bottom lip, he leads Nagito out into the common room. His arm glinting in the light as Hajime has to tear his eyes away from the sight of it. However as soon as they step out they’re greeted by a face he hadn’t expected to see.

  Mahiru is pottering about the kitchen. A tea cup clutched in her hand and the doors of the cupboards around her swung open. They had seen her less than an hour ago but somehow she already looks more tired. Dark bags underlining her eyes, making them look oddly brighter. 

  “Oh Mahiru. I didn’t expect to see you here.” Nagito gives her an innocent wave like they’re just old co-workers bumping into each other in the city. 

  Given the small quarters all fifteen of them are squeezed into it shouldn’t really be all that surprising to have bumped into her. There’s a greater chance of bumping into someone than not. Still given that it’s Mahiru and there is no sign of Hiyoko anywhere in sight it’s hard to not be at least a little taken aback.

  “Are you okay?” He tilts his head slightly, peering about the room as if expecting Hiyoko or someone to pop up but the three of them are all alone in the room. 

  “Hmmm? Oh yeah. I just wanted a snack.” She nods towards the counters as if they hadn’t just finished eating all together. He supposes that doesn’t exactly stop someone wanting a snack though, “What are you two doing?”

  “Hajime is showing me a surprise.”

  “A surprise?” She turns towards Hajime, demanding answers but the best he can offer her is a shrug. He just hopes the warmth smothering his face is only in his head… 

  “Yep.”

  “What is it?”

  “It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you.” He replies sternly. 

  At this point he’s not even sure why he’s keeping it a surprise, they’re barely more than seconds away from revealing it after all. But the thought of standing her and verbalising his plan makes him squirm where he stands, so he keeps his lips sealed. Besides, he gets the feeling Mahiru might not exactly approve of the idea. 

  “You really don’t need to go through all -” Nagito begins to speak, but by now Hajime can see it coming. Without a moments hesitation he just holds his hand up to silence Nagito instantaneously. 

  For a few seconds Mahiru narrows her eye as Hajime, trying to read his intentions from his face. But eventually she simply shrugs, turning back to her snack search, “I suppose. You’ll have to tell me about it later then.”

  “Will do.”

  Feeling her eyes still following them, they push out past the doorway and into the room across from them. Nagito follows hot on his heels, not saying a thing even as they step into the green lit room. He simply stands there, looking out at Hajime expectantly. He doesn’t even give the chambers around them a second look. There’s not so much as a single question. 

  Standing here now he starts to wish he’d taken some time to think about what he was going to say. The idea had seemed great when he first thought of it but he truly does feel a little insane standing here now. 

  Clearing his throat he decides to just dive right in, “So…can you get in one of the chambers?” He awkwardly nods towards the chamber that he remembers used to belong to Nagito. 

  “So your surprise is -”

  “You’ll see when you get in there.” He does his best to give Nagito a reassuring smile as he speaks. Hoping that will be enough. It’ll all just be easier to explain from inside. At least he hopes it will be… 

  For a few moments they just stand there. Hajime watching Nagito, and Nagito eyeing up the chambers. But right when he starts thinking Nagito is simply going to turn around and refuse, he nods and offers up a bright smile, “Okay then.” 

  But before they can start heading over to the chambers, a different voice cuts through the room. None other than Mahiru is stood in the doorway - arms crossed disapprovingly, “You can't really be getting in there.” 

  He should have known she wouldn’t just leave them alone. Of course the prospect of following them would be impossible for her to ignore, her curiosity winning out. It’s so predictable he doesn’t even flinch at the sudden sound infiltrating the room. 

  The looks she’s giving is exactly the kind he would expect to see from a disappointed mother. It doesn’t help that she’s tapping her foot on the ground, only amplifying her anger. 

  Nagito on the other hand…

  “Ah, hello again.” Yet again he just waves sweetly like this is all the most normal thing in the world. Sometimes he wonders if Nagito is even seeing the same thing as him. 

  Mahiru is glaring at him now though. Even though Nagito had spoken to her, she refuses to take her eyes off of Hajime. It’s like she’s peering directly into his soul. Cutting straight into him and digging into his core. He might be fully clothed but he’s never felt more naked.

  “Don’t worry, it’s safe.” He holds up a hands in an attempt to settle her but she only glares harder. 

  “How can you be sure?”

  He can’t blame her for feeling this way. If he hadn’t already been in and out this many times he would have a hard time trusting the program. It’s not like they have good memories with the place. Besides, this is all his fault, at least partially, so he’s probably earned this kind of response. 

  He still does his best to explain, hoping that something will get through to Mahiru, “I've been in it multiple times. Without the AI I installed it has been functioning fine.” 

  But even he explains, her gaze only gets harder. Her jaw tensed as the sound of her teeth grinding angrily echoes through the room. A million different expressions shift across her face in the blink of an eye. 

  “But -”

  Before she can finish her sentence Nagito interrupts, catching both of them completely off guard,  “Would you like to join us?”

  If he didn’t know Nagito he would assume the he’d just not been paying attention to the conversation going on around him. However that’s not Nagito. There’s no way he wasn’t absorbing every word spoken. Yet he still made the offer.

  Although Hajime was caught a little off guard, that’s nothing compared to Mahiru. Her mouth drops open as she stutters through her words. Thoughts crashing to a stop in her head. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen her caught this off guard.

  “I-” She desperately turns to Hajime, eyes wide. She might as well be on the floor begging. 

  Unsure of what to say, he simply replies, “Only if you want to.”

  It’s not like there’s anything wrong with bringing Mahiru. After the way she had started the conversation he can’t imagine her ever wanting to go back to that place. After everything that would make complete sense. Yet her stumbling now speaks to something else. He has no idea what she would want to see there but he’s not going to turn her away. It would make him more than a little bit of a hypocrite. 

  Neither him nor Nagito move an inch as they wait patiently for her response. But she simply looks between them at rapid speeds. Searching for something him and Nagito can’t offer her. 

  However, after a few minutes silence, her face suddenly hardens. No longer is she shakily scouring Hajime and Nagito’s faces. Instead she’s focused wholly on one of the chambers in front of her. Her entire body stiffening.

  He can already tell what she’s going to say before she’s even spoken. Her choice might as well be flashing over her face in big glowing lights. Screamed out through the determined flame that dances in her eyes. 

  “I… Okay…” Her jaw tenses but that does nothing to disrupt the new ambition oozing off of her. 

  Without wasting another seconds he gives her an acknowledging nod and points at the two chambers they will be using, “Both of you find your chambers - they should still be functional.”

  Thankfully all three of their chambers had been saved from Kazuichi. It’s not like there would be issues with using someone else’s - Alter Ego should be well equipped to adapt to whoever plugged themselves in - but it’s one less thing they need to think about. 

  Neither Mahiru nor Nagito say anything as they slowly make their ways over to their chambers. He does his best to pretend he doesn’t notice the way they both shake as they heave themselves in. Nagito doing his best to maneuver with his mechanical arm as delicately as he can. But in spite of that every movement still looks stilted. As soon as they’ve gotten in, they both allow themselves to sink down until they’re fully bathed in the green light. 

  Both of them hang off his every word as he briefly goes through the safety aspects in hopes of making it a little less daunting. Although judging by the way Nagito screws his eyes shut and Mahiru grits her teeth it wasn’t exactly helpful. Still, neither of them complain as he gives them both the final nod. Sealing their fates as he wanders over to make sure the upload goes properly before plugging himself in. 

  He can only imagine how they must both be feeling back in the things that had very nearly become their permanent tombs. Trapped once again. The sooner he can get this first bit over with the better. 

  But once it’s clear they program seem to be running smoothly, he races back to his own chamber. Throwing himself in without any fanfare. Alter Ego should be able to help them both adjust but the sooner he joins them the better. By now he’s had more than enough practice that muscle memory can take over. Within seconds everything is attached and he’s laying down, letting the program consume him once again.

~~~

  When he finally loads into the program, he’s bathed in the usual warm sun rays. The familiar feeling of soft warm sand under him is soothing at this point. Like returning home. He knows how crazy it sounds but he feels it nonetheless.

  Even though they joined a minute or so before him, Nagito and Mahiru are still sat on the beach either side of him. Although they had both sat upright, neither of them had made the slightest attempt to get up yet. Both just breathing in the salty breeze. 

  He doesn’t even bother hiding the grin the lights up his face. 

  “I almost forgot how pretty this place was…” Mahiru mumbles to no one in particular. He doesn’t need to see the way she’s gazing up at the sky above them to know exactly what she’s looking at. Her usually green eyes look almost teal in the soft warm light of the world around them. Almost a perfect match to the soft waves that still lap at the shore in front of them. 

  “A vast improvement from the red skies outside.” He mumbles, drinking in the sight in front of him. 

  Even just the single change of the soft blue sky makes everything feel entirely different. For a few moments they can pretend the world around them isn’t on fire. It all just looks…peaceful. Just what the Neo World Program was originally meant to be. 

  “Red…?” Mahiru frowns for a moment before everything suddenly floods back. “Oh, yes…” He had almost forgotten that she hadn’t gone out with them since waking up in this place. The memory of the real world waiting for them was getting fainter and fainter. If only they could go on believing that this was the world that would be waiting for them when they woke up again. 

  Leaning past him slightly, Mahiru peers over at Nagito who still hasn’t said a word, “Are you okay Nagito?”

  He’s hunched over slightly, staring into his lap where his two hands are resting. Gingerly he stretched out his fingers, running the two flesh and blood hands across each other. Soaking in every feeling. Enjoying the way his arm lights up with feeling for the first time in weeks - maybe even months (if you exclude their time in here). 

  He is too lost to pay their words any mind. Falling away into his own crashing thoughts. 

  “Nagito?” He gently rocks to the side so his shoulder brushes against Nagito’s arm gently. Jolting him awake. 

  “Hmmm?” He blinks frantically before he starts to piece together what they must have been asking, bringing back his innocent little smile, “Yes, I’m okay.”

  The smile isn’t even good enough to trick Mahiru but before either of them can question him any further they are interrupted by a new arrival. Their perfect sunlight is disrupted by a small shadow that hangs over them, drenching him and Nagito in darkness for a moment. 

  He doesn’t need to hear a word to know who’s arrive but he grins at the sound of the familiar voice anyway, “I see you all made it okay. That’s good. It’s so nice to see new faces.” Alter Ego claps enthusiastically, staring down at Nagito and Mahiru each in turn.

  He hadn’t quite realised that technically the AI wouldn’t have met any of them. It’s not just Nagito and Mahiru either - he never even met Sonia, Kazuichi and the others that survived the game. The only one from their little group he ever got to interact with was Hajime. Even if he’s peered into their code, this is all still new territory for the AI. 

  Before Hajime can sort out introductions - or even explanations - Mahiru has scooted forwards. Sand kicking up around her as a result of the violent movement. Her eyes are wider than ever, the peaceful atmosphere of the beach immediately ruined. 

  “Who are you?!” She points an accusatory finger up at the AI, waving it about to try and hide the way it trembles. 

  Poor Alter Ego’s lip begins to wobble as he tries to avoid flinching back at the accusation. Probably not the best way the two could have met but all things considered he should have seen it coming from a mile away. 

  He doesn’t even need to think twice before he’s jumped up. Placing himself between Mahiru and Alter Ego to make a solid wall. Towering above both of them now, “Ah, this is Alter Ego. He’s the AI that the future foundation use to run this place. He’s one of the ones who made it possible to save all of you guys.” He does his best to paint the most positive picture possible, knowing exactly how an AI is going to sound after everything that happened last time. 

  Sure enough despite his best efforts Mahiru still narrows her eyes, half scowling at the small AI who is hidden behind Hajime. Tucked away behind him softly. Even now Mahiru tucks her legs up, putting as much space as she can between them without actually launching herself into the sea.

  However, while Mahiru is launching herself away as fast as possible, Nagito takes quite a different approach. Instead of getting up like Hajime, he spins around on the sand, looking up at Alter Ego with a gentle expression, “I see…that’s wonderful. You were the AI created by the ultimate programmer, correct?”

  Of course Nagito of all people would remember that. 

  That’s all Alter Ego needs to hear though. Without a seconds hesitation, he leans out past Hajime to address Nagito. His eyes positively sparkling with a newfound enthusiasm, “Yes! Do you know Chihiro?”

  “Not really. We never met as people but he was an amazing person.”

  “He was.” Alter Ego deflates a little, his head hanging down, but it seems more like he’s lost in thought than anything else.

  It does make him wonder what he remembers about his creator. They must have been close, but years have passed now. Are his AI memories still as fresh as they day the were created or do AI memories fade over time just like peoples?

  Cautiously, Mahiru shuffles slightly closer, one hand clinging desperately onto her other elbow, pulling her arm as close as possible. Almost as if trying to make a wall between herself and the AI. 

  But even in spite of that, she mumbles, “I suppose we can trust him then.”

  “Thank you. I hope we can be good friends.”

  Good friends, huh? The thought makes him chuckle dryly. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t consider Alter Ego a friend - after everything he did to help Hajime and everyone else it would be silly to think any differently - but that doesn’t make it any less funny as a concept. He wonders what the future foundation members would have to say if they could see this now. What would Fujisaki say if he knew who his AI was buddy buddy with?

  “Come on.” Hajime reaches a hand out towards Nagito. As their fingers interlock he pulls Nagito upright until he’s stood at Hajime’s side. “Let’s go and see some stuff other than this one beach.” 

  He casually releases Nagito’s hand and moves towards Mahiru, holding a hand out to her as well. She doesn’t even need to think twice before she’s taken him up on his offer, using him to hoist herself up to her feet. For a few seconds she wobbles, trying to find her balance on the soft sand but eventually she settles, pulling her arms around her once again. 

  With them both on their feet, he starts walking up from the beach towards the rest of the island. He only gets a few steps though before he realises Mahiru and Alter Ego aren’t following behind? 

  “Are you coming Mahiru?” Nagito cocks his head to one side, narrowing his eyes.

  But Mahiru only shakes her head, “Not right now. There was something I wanted to ask Alter Ego actually…”

  What on earth could Mahiru want to ask Alter Ego of all people. Only minutes ago she didn’t know - or at least didn’t remember - the AI’s existence but now she suddenly has things to ask. 

  His curiosity runs rampant but he does his best to rein it in. If she has something to ask then he should probably give her the space she needs to ask it. After all, maybe it will help. If it’s something important then surely Alter Ego will tell him, right? 

  “Okay, well feel free to join us later.” He forces a smile, hoping it’s convincing enough for Mahiru. 

  “Will do.” She just waves to them both, not-so-subtly ushering them away and they oblige. 

  While part of his mind is still consumed with thoughts of Mahiru and Alter Ego, he works hard to squish those thoughts down. Stuffing them down deep to funnel all his attention to moving forwards. Listening out to the sound of Nagito traipsing along behind him.

  There's no way Nagito isn’t thinking about them either but neither of them make any moves to go back. Not even once. They both try with all their might to focus solely on the path ahead until they have gotten far enough along the road that they can no longer catch the slightest glimpse of the two.

  Only once they’re fully out of view does Nagito finally speak, “Where are we going?”

  In spite of it just being the two of them, Nagito still lingers slightly further back instead of falling in step with Hajime. Even as Hajime slows down ever so slightly to close the distance between them, Nagito smoothly manages to maintain the distance. Hovering behind him no matter what Hajime tries. 

  But even with that strange behaviour, Nagito is practically skipping along. His hands reach out to brush across every branch the lines the side of the path. Making sure not to miss a single one as they pass by. His hair bounces energetically like he’s been shot full of sugar. It feels so different to how he’s used to seeing Nagito. 

  Honestly, he has no idea where they’re going. None of this was really thought out beyond simply bringing Nagito here. The one place where he can still have two hands. The last place where he can still experience feeling in that hand at least. None of it really mattes beyond that. 

  “Nowhere in particular. Its just nice to be outside - even if we aren’t really.” He shrugs and keeps walking, not slowing down in the slightest. 

  “We could go outside in the real world.” Nagito mutters. 

  Although his tone seems as harmless and innocent as ever, Hajime can feel the tendrils of curiosity which permeate the words. He’s fishing. Hajime keeps his expression straight though, not acknowledging the real question there. 

  “True,” He hums, coming to a stop so fast that Nagito almost smacks into his back, “…but outside we can’t do this.”

  Not even thinking twice, he darts off the path, staring up above him. A decent sized cliff hangs above them, almost entirely covered in foliage. Not waiting for Nagito he reaches up towards the rocks and begins pulling himself upwards. Using the jagged rocks as perfect little hand holds. 

  However he only goes 3 or 4 foot before he leans back. Holding onto the rocks with one hand, he releases his other hand and flashes Nagito a grin below him.

  Climbing hadn’t exactly been on the agenda today but they might as well make the most of Nagito having two hands while they can. Besides, it will probably be a good view from the top. For once they deserve a nice view. 

  But despite Hajime’s encouragement Nagito vehemently shakes his head, trying to back off, “I can’t climb.” But before he can get too far, Hajime jump back down. He grabs Nagito’s hand before the other man can disappear, and pulls him over to the rocks. 

  “That’s nonsense. Come on, I’ll show you.”

  How hard can it be anyway? 

  It turns out, much harder than he had expected. Working together they start making good progress, clearing the first few feet. However, somehow Nagito manages to find every loose or weak hand hold. Each and every one instantly crumbling under his hand. You would think that given it’s a computer program they would be able to make a halfway decent cliff but apparently not.

  Somehow, despite the fact that the very cliff crumble under his hand, he manages to just about avoid slipping down every single time. Regardless of the failure of the rock, they still manage to just about clamber onto the top of the cliff. Surmounting the challenge as both of them throw themselves onto the grass above. Laying down and embracing the solid ground. 

  “See! I told you you could do it.” He laughs, turning his head so he can address Nagito from where they’re laying. 

  “I got lucky.” 

  He wants to disagree but they both know that would be a lie. Maybe that’s not such a bad thing though. Regardless of how they did it, they both made it up here in one piece. Nagito might have used his luck but it’s not like Hajime wasn’t using one of his talents. 

  Nevertheless, they both lay there for a while, staring up at the sky above. They’ve still had no sign of Mahiru but he can’t bring himself to go and look for her. Not when it’s so warm here laying under the sun. She’ll go wherever she needs to go. He just needs to have faith in her. 

  Slowly, bit by bit, the pale below is replaced by a pastel pink that fills the sky. Oranges, reds and pinks all interweave as the sky fades into darkness. And then all the colours disappear, leaving only sparkling specks of white glittering across the navy sky. Stars lighting up the world around him. 

  “Why did you bring me here?” Nagito mumbles into the darkness, breaking the silence they had built up. 

  He forces himself to turn his head towards Nagito once more, trying to read his face. He’s still staring up at the sky, not allowing his eyes to drift towards Hajime for even a second. There’s no smile ghosting his lips this time though. Instead his lips are pursed together as if trying to hold something back. 

  “I told you, to go outside. You could do with some sun.” He mumbles, hoping that will be enough of an answer but it’s nothing but wishful thinking. 

  As soon as the words leave his mouth, Nagito rips his eyes away from the sky. His entire body twists to one side until he’s laying on his side and staring across as Hajime. It’s like he think’s he’ll be able to coax the answer out with nothing but his puppy dog eyes. 

  “Is that it?” 

  He’s not sure if he’s a fan of this kind of questioning. But either way there’s no point in keeping it a secret anymore. 

  “I asked Alter Ego to make sure your avatar came in with two arms instead of one.” He sighs deeply, rubbing his forehead with one hand.

  “I -”

  He immediately cuts Nagito off, squeezing in his explanation before Nagito can get a word in edge ways, “Look, I’ve seen how you are with the thing. Despite how good Kazuichi is, there’s a limit to what’s possible. I know this isn’t real or anything but at least for a little while you can pretend it is.”

  Silence.

  Nagito turns his head away, shifting so he’s looking up at the sky once again. Star gazing. 

  So much times passes that he starts to assume he’s never going to get a response but just when he’s given up Nagito whispers into the darkness, “Thank you, Hajime.”

  “You’re welcome.”

Chapter Text

26/05 - 11:56

  Hajime's leg bounces up and down against the hard floor. In the back of his mind he’s aware of how loud he must be being but right now he can’t be bothered to care. If they truly cared they would say something but there’s nothing but silence hanging around them. Everyones heads lowered to stare into their laps. 

  They’re all sat around the dining room table - at least the ones of them that are left. Only him, Nekomaru, Peko, Mahiru and Gundham are still lingering around. All of them waiting patiently for their turn being seen by the doctors. Unlike last time they’d been given no forewarning, just doctors knocking on their doors and announcing the plan for the day. At least this time they had five doctors on hand, using their bedrooms instead of the medical room. It turns out that was very needed given how long they’ve been taking. 

  The longer he waits, the faster his foot bounces against the ground. Energy swirling around inside him. He had allowed everyone else to go on ahead of him but he’s regretting that decision more and more with every passing second. No one has left their room since finishing the check up but at least it would already be over. Sitting here and waiting is the worst part. 

  He’s so caught up in his own thoughts that he doesn’t notice as the chair next to him is pulled out - scraping against the ground. It’s only when a hand reaches out to rest on his shoulder that he finally notices. 

  “I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Nekomaru is smiling soothingly, his hand warm and heavy on Hajime’s shoulder.

  Of course he knows that. It’s not like he’s in bad health. In fact, he’s probably in the best health of his life - well the life he remembers at least. Sure, he might not be getting the best sleep every night but there’s more than enough food and he’s resting in a warm and clean environment. That might as well be unheard of in this day and age. 

  No, even if he knows nothing bad will happen that doesn’t change the writhing feeling in his chest. If Nekomaru could find a way to let his brain understand that fact then he would be grateful…

  “Yeah, I know.” He sighs, pushing the thought out of his head, “How was it yesterday?” 

  It had been late when him, Mahiru and Nagito left the Neo World Program so he’d had no time to check in with Nekomaru about the Teruteru situation. Now they’re here this is as good time as any to catch up. He looks around the room at the people that surround him - it’s not like any of them will care. 

  However, Nekomaru just shakes his head, sighing deeply and hunching over his shoulders. 

  “Same as before…” 

  Of course it was. It’s not like he had expected anything different. You’re allowed to hope though. Just another thing on their list of stuff to deal with. Exactly what he needed. 

  But for now there’s nothing else for him to say. No plans. No ideas. He just folds his arms on the table and lays down - resting his head on his arms. Maybe this is a conversation for another time. 

  Thankfully he’s saved from having to think of something by the clicking of a door and the appearance of a silhouette in the doorway. Just like the last few times it’s one of the doctors, stood with a clipboard in hand looking over the last few documents. 

  “Who’s next?” The doctor looks around the room, examining the almost empty table. Scanning each of their faces. 

  She doesn’t need to look for long though. After a few seconds of silence, Nekomaru stands up, rolling his shoulders and standing up high.

  “I’ll go next.” He clears his throat and claps Hajime’s back, “We’ll catch up after this.” 

  His smile is as warm as ever as he’s lead away down the darkened corridor. Disappearing into the darkness. He can’t see Nekomaru once he enters the corridor but they can hear the door click open and shut as he’s sealed away in his room. Another person down.

  Despite his regrets, he allows Mahiru and Gundham to go off with the doctors next. Both of them disappearing just like everyone else. Eventually it’s just him and Peko left alone in the room. 

  She’s sat as straight as ever. There’s no way it can be comfy to sit that perfectly but she hasn’t moved an inch since she first sat down. For once she really does look like a puppet. Pulled up perfectly straight as if being kept upright by strings. 

  It’s not just the way she’s sat though. As usual, her hair is perfectly styled. Neatly pulled into two braids. Not a single strand of hair out of place. Even her clothes are perfectly neat - not a single crease breaking the surface of the fabric. The only thing breaking her perfect doll-like appearance, is the dark bags that underline her eyes. It seems to foreign to see her face marred in such a way. 

  When everyone else had been here it hadn’t been strange but now, with everyone gone, sitting here silently feels…wrong. All he can focus on is the sound of her steadily increasing breaths. The frantic way her chest is rising and falling. 

  “Ughhh, they’re really taking their sweet time aren’t they.” He whistles, casually leaning back in his chair. 

  “Huh?” Peko frowns, blinking frantically as she looks around the room. Searching for whoever Hajime was talking to. It takes longer than he would have thought for it to finally click in her head, “Oh, yes.”

  “I wonder what they’re doing in there.”

  “I assume it will be similar to the last time.” Peko mumbles, her shoulders drooping slightly, “Hopefully this will be the last time.”

  “Hopefully.” 

  He knows he shouldn’t get his hopes up though. Every time he thinks it will be the last time and every time they come back. You would think by now they wouldn’t need to examine everyone at least. It makes sense to examine Fuyuhiko, Mikan, and Nagito. Maybe even Teruteru and Akane. But everyone else? 

  Leaning forwards, he rests his arms on the table. Cradling his head in his hands. From here he can see Peko’s every movement even closer. He can see the way her hands shake ever so slightly. The way her breath catches in her throat. The uncomfortable way she clenches both fists. 

  As bad as it sounds, he can’t help but feel relief. Sometimes just knowing he isn’t on his own makes things a little more bearable. 

  “You know we were talking the other day about where we would want to go if we did leave this place.” The words come out as casually as they can. Peko must sense the strangeness but he simply hopes she plays along. 

  “What is the point of talking about that? It’s not like we will ever be able to leave this place in peace.” She mumbles, crossing her arms. 

  “You’re probably right. But sometimes it’s good to remember that the world really is still out there. It’s easy to forget in this place.”

  “Hmmm…” She hums to herself, rubbing her chin with one hand.

  While some peoples choices were obvious, he can’t tell what Peko would say. He would be the first person to point out how pointless the question is but at the same time he does kind of want to know. If for no other reason than to distract them both from what’s ahead, “Where would you want to go if there was nothing stopping us?”

  He fully expects her to brush him off. It’s not like she has any reason to answer him. But after a few seconds of silence, she shifts in her chair to mumble, “I don’t know. I would simply go wherever Fuyuhiko desired.”

  Wherever Fuyuhiko desires.

  Of course she would say that. But even though it’s not surprising, he refuses to accept the answer. It’s not like she can still pretend that she has no desires beyond what Fuyuhiko tells her. More than once she has admitted to her true feelings beneath the surface. This is no different.

  “Come on, I know you better that that.” He grumbles, leaning even further forwards, “Lets say you left right now with Fuyuhiko, where would you go?”

  This time she pauses for even longer. Fingers brushing against her chin. She doesn’t quite look at Hajime, instead she stares over his shoulder at something in the distance. But at least her hands are no longer shaking. 

  “I don’t know a specific place…I’ve never left Japan before this trip.” She mutters, the slightest pink tinge touching her cheeks, “However I believe I would like to go to the countryside. Living somewhere far away from the cities, surrounded by nature would be…nice.”

  He finds it hard to believe that she’s never left Japan. In a way it makes sense, her and Fuyuhiko had so much to manage in Japan, why would they ever need to leave? But at the same time, she seems like the sort of person who would enjoy seeing the world. A bird that should be flying free.

  The countryside…huh? 

  When he was travelling he never really got to spend much time outside of cities. Of course he passed through plenty when he was travelling - it’s impossible not to - but it was never more than that. Passing glances while he’s moving. Barely enough to even get a feeling for the environment. It always seemed so quiet. So boring. Nothing worth his time. 

  But now… “That sounds nice.” 

  This time he’s not even lying. Before when the others had asked where he wanted to go he could honestly answer that he wasn’t sure. After all, most places he visited felt the same. However it’s easy to see the appeal in what Peko has said. The island wasn’t exactly countryside - at least not most of it - but it offered the same kind of peace. At least before Monokuma had arrived. It doesn’t seem like such a bad thing now, a little boredom might be just what they need. 

  “Hmmm…You wouldn’t want to live in the city?” She cocks her head to one side, as if trying to see him in a different light. Taking a look at him from a different angle. 

  “No…I think I’ve spent too long there. Too many memories…”

  Those tall building standing over you. The way their shadows drifted over the broken streets. People packed in, living on top of one another. The dark grey of a boring metropolis. It all is too oppressive. Too crushing. Seeing cities now only reminds him of everything he’s already seen. All the things he did. No, he doesn’t think he could go back to that. He would rather stay here than go back to that. 

  “I understand. I feel the same way. Most of my good memories came from before Hopes Peak, when we were still living in the Kuzuryu family home in the countryside.”

  “I can’t imagine Fuyuhiko living in the countryside.” 

  The thought almost makes him want to laugh. Imagine Fuyuhiko running through a field, his perfectly tailored suit marred by dirt and grass stains. He seemed strange enough in an island environment. His entire demeanour feels far more suited to the sprawling cityscape than whatever the fields and rural villages provide.

  “He was not a fan of all the fields and emptiness. But he seemed happier than he does now.” 

  He supposes sometimes you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. He can only imagine what Fuyuhiko would give to go back to that time, “Well that’s not unique to him.” 

  “That may be true…”

  “Why don’t you tell me about your favourite thing about the countryside? I barely got to spend any time outside of cities so it would be nice to hear about what I missed out on.” He does his best to smile sweetly, trying to bring the discussion back to something happier.

  Besides, he would be lying if he said he didn’t want some stories he could use against Fuyuhiko. Imagine all the juicy embarrassing stories he could squeeze out of Peko. He missed out on getting those stories from her while they were at Hopes Peak so he needs to start gathering some now. 

  “Very well.” The ghost of a smile creeps onto her face, “I used to love walking in the fields - especially in the evening. We would run away at times and go to look at the sunset. Back before Kotaro died we would take him for walks through the forest whenever we could escape from our lessons.”

  “Was Kotaro the dog you mentioned before?” He remembers her mentioning Fuyuhiko’s dog while they were in the program. The same dog that had been scared of her. Despite the impression Fuyuhiko likes to put out to the world, it makes sense he of all people would have a pet dog he doted on. He can only hope it died in a peaceful way….

  “Yes. You would have liked him. He was…very sweet.” The smile that had been ghosting her lips has solidified. Her gaze drifting back from over his shoulder and onto him. 

  Personally, he’d never been a dog person. At least not that he remembers. They always seemed too clingy, always right at your heels. He’d seen more than his fair share wandering about the streets. Abandoned or lost. As soon as the world fell to pieces they were left alone. Unable to properly fend for themselves and searching out love and attention from everyone passing by. Even him. If the dogs weren’t even scared of him then he finds it hard to imagine them being scared of her. 

  He doesn’t say any of that though. While he might have felt that way once, it doesn’t sound quite so bad now. Undying devoted love. There are some perks to that. 

  Instead he simply asks, “What kind of dog was he?” Trying to build up an image of Peko and Fuyuhiko’s lives before all of this. 

  “He was a shiba inu. He was very fluffy but he was scared of me more than anything.” Peko chuckles awkwardly, rubbing the back of her neck.

  He tries to imagine little Peko and Fuyuhiko running about a field, a small shiba inu chasing after them. Or maybe they would be chasing after the dog - their high quality clothing covered in stains and flecks of mud. That kind of life seems to foreign to the harsh, blood thirsty Yakuza life he knew them to have. He wonders what people would say if they could see the cut throat Yakuza leader and his right hand woman playing around like that as kids. Even people like that had to be innocent children at some point. 

  However their warm session of reminiscing is rudely interrupted before he can get any more stories. Neither of them even hear the door opening, the first sign the have is the tired sigh of the doctor as she leans against the door frame. 

  “We are ready for the next person. Which one of you would like to come first?” 

  Just when they were starting to forget and get to the good stories…this was bound to happen. 

  “Pe -” He begins to nod towards Peko but she beats him to it, speaking over him. 

  “Don’t worry. You should go first. I’m happy to be last.”

  His gut reaction is to turn her down, to insist she’s the one to go; after all, he can wait. But looking at her now he catches himself. The fierce determination that burns hot inside her eyes. 

  “Okay then.” If she wants to go last, who is he to stand in her way? He did say he wanted this over and done with as soon as possible. 

  Shaking himself down he gets up from the chair and follows after the doctor. Preparing himself for what is to come. 

~~~

26/05 - 23:09

  Everything had been quiet and still since the doctors left. Not a single person daring to venture out of their rooms. All the halls silent as everyone hides away. Not that he can blame them. It’s not like he went wandering about after his check up. Despite everything they’re all still the same. 

  After the doctors had left he’d simply laid down in his bed; the exhaustion from the day pounding down on him. Yet no matter how long he laid there he couldn’t find sleep. Even when he can already feel his eye lids aching to close and a yawn building in his chest, sleep still evades him.

  It's been hours and hours since they left but his heart still seems to stutter in his chest. A cold sweat consuming him and his throat aching as he tries to swallow to no avail. No matter how much it feels like he's about to pass out, his limbs just keep tingling. Numbness fully taking a hold. Overwhelming him entirely. 

  Was he dumb for thinking he’d actually fall asleep in this place? Hours had passed and nothing had changed. Nothing. No matter how much his eye lids begin to droop. 

  Eventually he gives up completely. If he’s not going to fall asleep then he’s certainly not just going to keep laying there. He one small rebellion against his traitorous body. 

  Subconsciously he finds himself creeping out of his room to stand in the darkened hallway alone. Maybe a little walk will show his body just how tired he really is. In the darkness of the night he tries to walk down the hallway but it quickly turns into more of a stumble than anything else. Bashing into the wall he clumsily puts one foot in front of the other, unsure of where he’s even going. With every step his eyes close further and further, unable to keep them up anymore. 

  When he finally opens his eyes, he’s facing a familiar wooden door. It’s not like any of the doors are particularly different in this place. All the same cheap light brown wood made in the same style. But even so he recognises this door instantly. In his tired state he’d wandered himself right up to Nagito’s room. 

  Ah yes, he’s sure Nagito will love a little midnight visit to interrupt his sleep. Then again, this is Nagito, so maybe that wouldn’t be so far off.

  In his addled state he finds his body moving on it’s own once again. His hand rapping on the wood of the door as gently as he can.

  Yeah, that’s right. It’s the lack of sleeps fault. He’s not to blame for his actions, he wasn’t in his right mind. 

  “Nagito?” He whispers as softly as he can into the door. 

  The sane part of his mind prays that it was quiet enough to not disrupt the man if he really is sleeping, but the other part of his mind urges him to knock again. Just once more. He should really check in with Nagito after all. Just to see how he’s doing. After all it would be bad if the doctors had told him bad news in the check up and Hajime didn’t know. A quick check in wouldn’t hurt. Right? 

  No, this is stupid. He finally comes to his senses as he shakes his head firmly. 

  Given the time of day (or more like night) he should probably just save this for tomorrow. What are the chances of Nagito actually being awake? But his body still refuses to leave. Determined to stay right there despite the logic clawing at his brain. 

  Pressing an ear to the door he focuses, straining his ears as much as possible. Almost immediately he hears the subtle sound of shuffling from the other side. The creaking of a bed and the soft padding of feet moving across the room. Standing up as quick as he can, he composes himself so he doesn’t look completely creepy when Nagito opens the door. 

  “Hajime?” Nagito blearily rubs his eyes with one arm, barely holding back a yawn, “What are you doing here?”

  “Were you sleeping?” He frowns, wincing uncomfortably. 

  “Not really. I was trying to but it wasn’t very successful.”

  He awkwardly scratches the back of his neck, waves of guilt crashing into him, “Sorry, I can come back later.” 

  What was he even thinking coming here? Of course he would be disrupting Nagito’s sleep. He was just being delusional to even consider otherwise. 

  Not even wanting to hear Nagito’s response, he already turns to leave. He was out of his mind coming here at all. But he doesn’t get to take a step before a gentle tap lands on his shoulder. It’s accompanied by the loud creaking of the door as it opens up further. 

  “No, it's okay. Come in.” Nagito beckons him forwards, stepping aside slightly in as welcoming a way as he can manage given how tired they both are. 

  He considers still walking away for a moment - it’s not like Nagito is holding him back or anything. He didn’t even grab Hajime’s arm. But before he can dwell on the thought for too long his body takes over once again. Taking charge of the memoment before him. 

  All things considered his brain might as well just retire for all the good it’s doing. It’s not like there’s much point in leaving now though. The damage has already been done so he might as well make it worth it. Besides, Nagito has invited him in. It would be rude to turn him down. 

  Trying not to overthink things he turns back to Nagito and forces himself onward. Squeezing past Nagito, he stumbles into the dark room still yawning. It’s as neat as ever, the only thing out of place is the slight rumples on the material of the bed but even that is negligible considering he was meant to have been sleeping on it.

  Unsure of where to go, he simply stands awkwardly in the middle of the room. In this state he doesn’t think he trusts himself to choose the appropriate place to sit. Only when Nagito shuffles back over to his bed - sitting on top of it cross legged - does he dare to take a seat on the bed. And even he only perches on the edge, staying as far as he can while still staying on the bed. 

  In spite of the fact that he’s the one who basically barged in here in the dead of night, Nagito is the one who needs to break the silence. 

  “What are you here for?” He asks softly. Even now he’s rubbing his eyes lazily. 

  Honestly, that’s the million dollar question. If only he knew. But he’s not far gone enough to be unaware of how weird it would sound to say he just subconsciously wandered over here. Surely even Nagito would think that was weird. 

  So instead he gives the second best answer, “I just wanted to see how it went with the doctor today.” But it’s not liken that’s much better. He could have come hours ago or in the morning. It’s the best he can come up with in this state though. He can only hope Nagito is as out of it as he looks right now to not question it twice. 

  However, much to Hajime’s surprise, instead of answering he simply holds out his arm towards Hajime. Showing it off proudly. Like a badge of honour rather than a war scar. As if putting on a show, he rotates his arm slightly, giving Hajime a better look although he has no idea what he’s meant to be seeing. 

  “They said it has healed very well. Much better than they had expected. Luck must be on my side.” He smiles warmly, leaning slightly closer to Hajime. 

  “How has the arm been?” He blinks ferociously as he speaks. Doing his best to focus on the arm in front of him. 

  “It’s been great. Kazuichi really did a wonderful job as always.” But Nagito’s eyes don’t smile with his lips. 

  Is he…lying? With his mind like this it’s hard to make heads or tails of what is happening but he’s almost certain Nagito is lying to him. It doesn’t make sense though. Why on earth would he be lying. It’s not like he’s the most honest person in the world but lying like this isn’t something he associates with the boy. Not for no reason at least. 

  Narrowing his eyes, he looks back at the arm once again. Studying it. Drinking in the details. Focusing as hard as he can in the low light of the barely lit room. It’s hard to be sure but it almost looks like the skin around his prosthetic arm is slightly puffy and swollen. He doubts it would be clearly visible even in good lighting. But now that he’s seen it, he can’t unsee it. Maybe he’s just seeing what he want to see, supporting his own bias. But what if he isn’t.

  Before his brain has caught up with his body, he’s reaching forward and grabbing Nagito’s arm. He doesn’t think twice before he’s pulled it close, examining every inch of skin. 

  “Wh -?”

  Nagito never gets to finish his thought though. Hajime looks up suddenly, cold eyes staring through the other man, “Why didn’t you tell us?” He scowls involuntarily. His grip tightening ever so slightly around Nagito’s fleshy upper arm. 

  “What do you mean?” Still lying - even now?

  “Your arm. It’s not fitted correctly. You should have told us.”

  “It’s no problem, really. If it was troublesome I would have said something. It’s already better than anything I deserve.” He waves everything off with an innocent smile but he’s stupid if he thinks Hajime is going to fall for that. The way he tries to pull his arm free certainly doesn’t help at selling what he’s saying. 

  “Give it here.” He growls softly. 

  He doesn’t have the energy to hold back his eye roll as he swiftly and methodically detaches the arm. He always assumed he could do basic procedures like this in his sleep so he supposes now is the time to put that to the test. All the while he does his best not to think about what he’s doing, letting his body move on its own. If it’s going to take control like that then he might as well put it to good use for once. 

  Nagito watches him quietly the entire time. Although he never says a word, it would be impossible not to feel his curious gaze - regardless of how enveloped he is in his work. It doesn’t bother him as much as he thought it would though. The curiosity is to be expected after all. The feeling of his sharp eyes on Hajime only spurs him on. 

  By the time he actually finishes tinkering he’s almost…disappointed. Not that he lets it show on his face. 

  “There you go.” He hums, weighing up the arm slightly. “Try that out.” He carefully hands back the arm. Doing his best to make sure it gets into his hands safely. Only when Nagito is firmly holding onto it does he release the tension clinging to his body.

  “I -” Nagito stutters for a moment, struggling with the words in his mind. But eventually his shoulder relax and he simply smiles, “Thank you.”

  Hajime leans back against the wall, his head pressed up against the cool surface. From here he can happily watch as Nagito tests out the new adjustments while still giving him space. Besides, he would be lying if he said it wasn’t comfortable.

  Maybe even a little too comfy…

  Bit by bit his eyes begin fluttering closed again. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knows he should probably be paying more attention. What if Nagito still needs some help? If nothing else he should be paying attention to make sure the adjustments have done what they’re meant to. But the longer he leans there, surrounded by the somehow familar sounds of Nagito working, the heavier and heavier his bodies feels. 

  And then before he can stop himself, he drifts away. Finally succumbing to the call of sleep. 

Chapter Text

27/05 - 09:30

  When he first wakes up it takes him embarrassingly long to notice anything is amiss. Curled up with the covers smothering him he only wants to burrow further in. To nestle deep in the fabric and never come out. No bed should be allowed to be this soft.

  But even now as he blearily breaks away from the clutches of sleep he knows this would never be possible. Soon enough something would come and they would all be looking for him again. It’s only a matter of time. Cooking, and Teruteru, and Makoto, and everything else. It all builds up. Days off aren’t exactly in the cards. No, it’s better to get up now before he well and truly loses all his self restraint.

  Groaning softly he begins to break free from his cocoon. Letting the layers peel away until he’s exposed to the world around him once again. He sighs with every movement but he knows there’s no other choice. Like ripping off a band aid he pulls down the cover and sits up in the bed. 

  He’s still in his clothes from last night. They’re slightly crumpled now but other than that he looks like he didn’t sleep at all. He should probably stop sleeping in his clothes like this… Then again, it not like they’re going to see anyone that would care. 

  It’s only as he fully sits up that he realises he’s not in his room. 

  Not in his bed. 

  Oh god. He’s in Nagito’s room, isn’t he?

  How could he forget coming into Nagito’s room last night? Even more important than that: how could he let himself fall asleep in the other mans room? In his bed even?!

  Looking around frantically it doesn’t take long to locate the owner of the room. Hajime must have muscled him out of his own bed as he’s now curled up in the fetal position on the floor. Thankfully he at least took a pillow and thin blanket for himself. It’s something…even if there isn’t anything between him and the floor. 

  He must have taken his arm off before sleeping as it’s now laid neatly on top of the dresser. In the dim light of the room it’s impossible to see the details and carvings but there’s no mistaking that silhouette. Besides, it’s basically the only thing Nagito has in his room. Then again they didn’t exactly come here with a bag packed full of possessions. 

  Rubbing a hand down his face, he jumps out of the bed. Feet quietly padding on the soft plush carpet. As soon as he’s upright his eyes instinctively seek out the clock that must be tucked away somewhere in here. 

  09:34

  And they we’re still asleep?! He knows they didn’t exactly get to sleep until late but to sleep in this long. And to take Nagito’s bed all that time. His cheeks warm instantly. 

  Despite everything, part of him wants to go right back in that bed and drift back to sleep but he can’t even entertain the thought. No, instead he kneels over Nagito’s still sleeping form. Being as careful as he can, he hooks an arm under Nagito’s legs. Pulling him close Hajime’s chest as tenderly as he can given the circumstances. 

  His amputated arm hangs freely at his side, drooping down as Hajime carefully lifts Nagito up from the ground. It feels strange to see the stump like this now. He’s so used to seeing it covered up in a sling or attached to the prosthetic that it almost looks naked now. 

  Thankfully he hadn’t bothered to pull the covered back across the bed after he got up. As a result he can easily slide Nagito under the cover. Settling his head on the soft pillows. Draping the cover over his sleeping form, he covered up everything below his neck. 

  There, that should be more comfy now. Hajime might not be able to get more sleep but hopefully at least Nagito will be able to get some rest. After all, he did give up his comfort all night to an intruder who might as well have barged into his room. 

  Giving Nagito one last once over, he nods at his own handiwork. Smirking the entire time. He did a good job if he does say so himself. 

  He probably shouldn’t just be standing over Nagito like this though. The last thing he needs is anyone to catch him like this. There’s no good explanation you can give for this… 

  Stretching out one last time and letting out a harsh yawn, he finally turns away from Nagito. He does the best he can to flatten out his creased clothes. There’s no real way to save it without an iron though. This will have to do… 

  Bracing himself he steps out into the corridor - praying everyone had decided to sleep in today. But as it turns out, the gods weren’t on his side today. 

  “What are you doing…?” Hiyoko frowns. Her sharp and cold eyes narrow at him. Cutting straight through him. 

  She’s stood right in the middle of the hallway, eyeing up his rumpled clothes as he comes out of Nagito’s room. He doesn’t need to be able to read her mind to know exactly what she’s imagining right now. Bit by bit her frown morphs into a full on smirk. Beaming from ear to ear. Of all the people in this building it had to be Hiyoko…it couldn’t be someone who would keep their thoughts to themselves.

  “I was just doing a check up on Nagito’s arm. Making sure it all still fits properly.”

  It’s not exactly a lie. He actually did check on the arm - even if it wasn’t his intention. But even if it was the complete full truth he doesn’t think he could convince Hiyoko now. Not when fantasies are roaming around inside her head. 

  “Oh yeah. Dressed like that.” She arches one eyebrow. 

  Okay, he’s willing to admit they might be a little crumpled but it’s not that bad. In a place like this shouldn’t they get the benefit of not needing to worry about their clothes - not that he did care all that much before this place… 

  “It’s the truth but believe whatever you want.” He bristles slightly, holding his head up high. There’s nothing to be ashamed of - except maybe that he made an amputee sleep on the floor of his own room all night. But Hiyoko doesn’t need to know that part. 

  “Okayyyyy.” She grins wickedly. Already plotting something dastardly no doubt. 

  Thankfully when it’s just there little group here there’s not much she can really do. Sure, gossip spreads like wildfire in a group like this, but its far from the most conspicuous thing to have happened so far. Hopefully by now they have more pressing things to be thinking about, but maybe that’s just him being optimistic.

   “What are you doing out here anyway?” He changes topics deftly, looking around the hallway as he wrings his hands. 

  It’s not like it’s early in the morning - at least not compared to what he’s used to - but Hiyoko isn’t the sort of person he would picture being up at this kind of time. Much less to be up and about. She definitely seems to be the type to lay in as long as she’s allowed to, even more so in a place like this when there’s nothing for them to do all day but hang around people she despises. 

  Looking at her now, that’s not the only strange thing. Her pristine kimono is no where to be seen. At a glance it’s easy to assume she’s just in her pajama’s still, after all her long blonde hair isn’t in it’s usual pony tail (or even pigtails). Instead she has it loose so it drapes down almost completely concealing the sides of her neck. However, if he looks for more than a second it’s clear these aren’t her pajama’s. The long jogging bottoms bunch slightly at her ankles but there’s no mistaking the plain t-shirt and joggers that make up their assigned clothing.  

  He supposes he shouldn’t be too surprised - it’s not like they have many copies of their old clothes. Quite the opposite in fact. With the single set they have it makes sense she would have to go back to the assigned clothing sometimes. At least if she wants to avoid the ‘washing’ allegations from inside the program. 

  But he can’t ignore the nagging feeling inside him. It refuses to budge an inch. 

  “Hmmm? I was just getting breakfast.” She huffs, puffing up her cheeks slightly.

  “Where’s your kimono?” He asks frowning. Poking at the bear cautiously. Testing the waters. 

  Hiyoko instantly tenses. Her jaw visibly clenching until her teeth grind together painfully. Someone needs to teach Hiyoko the concept of a poker face at some point… You would think after the lives they’d led she would be a little better at it. 

  “I just didn’t want to wear it. It’s a hassle.” Her pout looks far more suited to the Hiyoko he had met in the program. As if it’s a habit she had never quite shaken despite everything. 

  “Did you forget how to tie it again?” He cocks his head to one side, poking a little more. Seeing where she feels most tender. 

  “What the fuck are you talking about?! I’m not stupid. I remember now you’ve taught me again. I told you, it’s just stupid. I didn’t want to have to deal with it.” Apparently he’s already hit an exposed nerve though. That really didn’t take much. 

  But despite her reaction, he doesn’t get the feeling she’s lying. Yet her eyes are still welling up with tears. There’s something there…but….unless…?

  “Sorry,” He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly, “You know you can come to me if you need help with anything though.”

  “Pfffft! Whatever.” She scowls and instinctively flips her hair over her shoulder dismissively. 

  And it’s the biggest mistake she’s made. Her carefully positioned hair is knocked out of place, exposing the sides of her neck for all to see. Dark red marks line the planes of her skin. Hot and raw against her normally perfectly clean cut appearance. Too shallow to be made by a blade but still unmistakable. Finger nails though… It wouldn’t be too shallow to have been made by nails. 

  His breath catches in his throat for the shortest moment. His brain scrambling to catch up with the rest of him. 

  She’s not going to wait for him though. Sensing his digging she crosses her arms grouchily and begins storm off. At least she’s seemingly forgotten about him leaving from Nagito’s room… You win some and you lose some. 

  “Hiyoko…?” He tries to call after her but it’s too late. She simply yanks open her door and slams it behind her. Followed by the tell tale click of the lock slipping into place.

  Well, that went well.

  But even as he slips off into the kitchen to grab some breakfast the thoughts of Hiyoko and her injuries don’t leave him. The cling onto. Claws well and truly dug in. 

~~~

27/05 - 19:38

  “I have an idea.” 

  They’re all sat around the dining room table chatting as they finish off their meals. But as soon as he speaks, they all fall silent. Even Akane and Teruteru, who have once again sat themselves all the way at the opposite side of the table from him. Given how loudly he’d announced it he probably shouldn’t be surprised, but knowing this group it’s still impressive. 

  He’s been mulling over the plan for hours and hours now. Thinking about the best way to broach the topic. By now he’s just determined that he needs to get it over with. The longer her lets himself mull over the thoughts, the worse it’s going to get. If they don’t like the idea then the worst they’ll do is refuse. It’s not like it can go too badly. 

  “What’s your idea?” Nekomaru’s loud voice booms across the room. Somehow, despite the cheery tone, it still manages to come across as vaguely threatening. 

  All eyes on him. Their sharp gazes harshly trained. Never dropping from him. 

  “Well,” Before he can ever think of backing out, he catches sight of Hiyoko - no longer in the seat next to him but at Akane’s side (still staying as far away from Fuyuhiko and Peko as possible). At once his resolve solidifies, “I was thinking we should have a burning session.”

  “A burning session?” Sonia hums, tilting her head to one side, “What’s that?”

  “It’s when you set fire to all your old stuff. It’s meant to help you move on and let go of the past. Or at least get out some of your anger.” Before he can even think about explaining, Kazuichi has dived straight in. Leaning in slightly towards Sonia as he explains. A fork still stuck in his mouth even as he mumbles. 

  “What would we even burn?” Judging solely by the puzzled look on Ibuki’s face you would think he had told them all to fly to the moon. Is it really not obvious? 

  “Everything. Anything.” He sighs, “Our old clothes for a start.”

  “O-Our c-clothes?!” Mikan blushes furiously, her head shrinking back like she’s a turtle curling up into her shell. 

  “What’re we gonna wear if we burn everythin’?” Akane raises one eyebrow as she drops her fork down onto her plate a little too hard. 

  He resist the urge to face palm with all his might, keeping his voice level and sane. Or at least as level and sane as he can manage to, “We still have clothes. I just don’t think it’s doing us any good to keep all our old stuff. There are too many memories surrounding it all now. This is almost like a fresh start for us. I think getting rid of some clothes and finding new things for us to wear would do some good.”

  “Are you asking me to part with the blessed armor that has protected me from the chaos of the universe for years on the whim of a mere mortal?!” Gundham growls a little too loudly. He had no idea people could be so passionate about something as mundane as their clothes. 

  “I’m not saying it has to be our clothes. That was just one suggestion - although I think it’s something we would all benefit from even if we like our old clothes. But if anyone doesn’t want to lose their old clothes then there are other things. Our student files could do with being burnt…or we could write down things from our past that we want to leave behind."

  “What’s brought this on all of a sudden?” Fuyuhiko mumbles, eyes as sharp as ever. 

  In all honesty, he had almost forgotten him and Peko were there. They’re both so quiet that even though they’re sat across from him, they blend in with their surrounding perfectly. Especially since they’ve both been dead silent at all the recent meal times. 

  “It came to me in a dream.” He drawls sarcastically, doing his best to avoid the question. 

  What should he be saying? He most certainly can’t mention Hiyoko. He doesn’t want to think about what she would say if he did. But at the same time it’s not like it’s just Hiyoko that prompted the thought. None of them are exactly pillars of mental fortitude. 

  However the last person he would expect to hear from is the one who jumps in, “I think it sounds like a good idea…” Teruteru’s voice is quiet but in the stillness of the room it rings out like a bell. 

  As if it’s calling out to the others, resonating with them, everyone else begins to chime in too. Quickly falling in line like dominoes toppling. 

  “Yes, it sounds like it will be most fun.” Sonia does her best to hype everyone up, rallying the troops to the best of her ability. 

  “Yeah, I guess it could be alright.” Kazuichi shrugs casually. 

  Even Fuyuhiko can’t turn them down, “Fine.”

  That’s how they end up shuffling down the stairs twenty minutes later. Arms full of random assortments of boxes. Each one is stuffed full to the brim. Despite the huffing earlier, each and every one of them is dressed in the basic white t-shirt and joggers now. All of their clothes tucked away in the boxes. His own suit is just about visible in the small box he’s carrying. Hajime’s - or his he supposes - file hurriedly shoved on top. 

  Walking together they all stumble outside the building, into the cool evening air. Soft red enveloping the world around them. As they step out they all set the boxes down on the floor next to each other to free up their hands.

  First things first they need to find some sticks or wood to actually start a fire to begin with. Maybe it would have been good to get an idea of what was available before he even suggested it. Who knew it could be so difficult to find anything flammable on the damn island. He isn’t sure if it’s a result of their own effect on the world or if it’s the way the future foundation chose to build this place but almost every plant has been stripped with the exception of a few palm trees right by the coast. It will have to do though. 

  Stripping down what they can from the trees they manage to make something which vaguely resembles a bonfire. Under any other circumstance he would be massively disappointed by such an ugly looking structure but for now it will have to do. 

  Just as he’s ready to step up and do his best to light the mess pile with nothing more than sticks and friction, Nagito steps up. Ready to save the day. It turns out between them all, Nagito was the only one with any forethought. He doesn’t need to be asked before he’s crouched down by the pile with a lighter in hand. Honestly, he has no clue where the lighter even came from but he doesn’t want to ask at this point. It’s already too late for questions. As long as it’s here, that’s all that matters. 

  Like absolute idiots, they all simply crowd around the pile, watching Nagito work his magic. Within minutes they’ve already given up on standing, resorting to sitting cross legged side by side. He can only imagine how crazy they must look sat around the slowly burning fire in one giant circles. Especially with the small boxes sat in each of their laps.

  “Ughhhh! I had no idea it would take this long.” Kazuichi sighs, hanging his head low.

  “Good things come to those who wait.” Ibuki smirks, gently rocking to the side to nudge Kazuichi’s shoulder. Trying her best to gently cheer him up. It doesn’t do much more than make him scowl more though. 

  However everyone is swiftly distracted from the two of them as Akane begins chuckling proudly, whipping out a large bottle of vodka from her box. Giving it a teasing swirl as she holds it high for everyone to see, “I brought this.” 

  “Where did you get that?!” Hiyoko gasps, leaning over Mahiru and Teruteru to try and snatch the bottle from Akane. She’s no match for Akane’s reflexes though. She doesn’t even get within centimeters of the bottle before it’s been whisked away. Hiyoko might have gained a few extra centimeters but it still isn’t enough to close the gap between her and Akane. Not even when they’re both sat down.

  All they can do is watch as she unscrews the bottle teasingly. Still swirling it up in the air. But their expressions quickly morph into looks of horror as her ‘well thought out’ plan comes into form.  

  “No! Akane!” Nagito tries to call out but from the other side of the fire he’s trapped. Useless. 

  Vodka is launched out of the bottle towards the fire. They all watch as if it’s moving in slow motion. Most of them completely frozen. Hajime just about wakes up in time to cover his face with his arm but Ibuki isn’t quite as lucky. Her eyebrows lightly singed and a ball of fire shoots out towards them. Flames gobbling up the vodka within seconds. Burning hot and fast. 

  “Who wants to go first.” 

  Thankfully, it’s burned away within seconds. The danger subsiding as quick as it began. But even then Ibuki is still frozen to the spot. Mouth hanging open. The only thing that moves are her hands which cling onto the face with her now lightly toasted eyebrows.  

  “What?” Akane frowns at the sea of open mouths around her. Somehow still not piecing together what everyone is freaking out about. Sometimes he wonders if she has any spatial awareness. Or is she just that dumb? 

  “Maybe we should do away with such…dangerous potions…” Gundham clears his throat, finally coaxing them all into action. It might just be the smartest thing he’s ever said. 

  It doesn’t need to be suggested twice before Peko has prowled around the circle, grabbing the bottle from above. Akane tries her best to cling onto the bottle but at this point she might as well have not bothered. For Peko it might as well just be taking candy from a baby. If he couldn’t see the way Akane pouts at the sudden yank then he would assume Akane had just willingly handed it over. 

  “Yes, that might be best.” Peko holds the bottle close to her chest as she moves back to her spot. 

  He’s about to suggest that they take it back indoors where it can’t be a temptation when the completely unexpected happens. Fuyuhiko reaches over and grabs onto the bottle. Pulling it free straight from Peko’s hands. Even she is too caught off guard to react. Merely shouting out his name as he brings the bottle to his lips, chugging straight from the neck of the bottle, “Fuyuhiko!”

  “What? If we’re going to do this then I think we’re gonna need it. We most certainly aren’t wasting it on the fucking fire though.” He says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. And maybe in some ways it is. 

  It might be impossible to truly forget the hangover from last time but it stings a lot less now with time sitting between them. And he would be lying if he said it wasn’t at least a little fun. If they’re going through with this then the might as well go all the way. 

  And it’s not just him that seems to see the logic behind his words. 

  Akane gives Fuyuhiko a hearty wink. Raising an invisible glass to the smaller man, “Ha! I knew I liked ya for a reason baby gangsta.”

  “Ugh.” Fuyuhiko groans but simply takes another swig of the vodka. Keeping him words sealed tightly away behind the impenetrable vault of his lips.

  Much to his surprise, Mahiru is the one to speak up. Her hands still knotted together in her lap but her head held high and proud, “Maybe we should start then…” 

  But as the first rages on in front of them, no one makes a move. Each of them just waiting for someone else to take that first step. No one brave enough to be the first.

  Sighing deeply, he already knows what he needs to do. This was his idea so he should be the one to bite the bullet. It’s the right thing to do… 

  Clearing his throat, he stands up in front of everyone, “Fine, me first.” As he stands he grabs the file from his box, holding it out in front of him. 

  All eyes are on him as he flicks open the file, letting the pages flutter slightly in the gentle breeze that is blowing past them. Getting caught up in the motions of everything. Building up the tension, he slowly, bit by bit, rips the first page from the file. 

  With every tear his smile grows wider and wider. Who knew there could be such catharsis in an act of destruction like that? It’s not just him either. The cheers around the group get louder and louder with every tear. Reaching a crescendo as he holds the freed page up in the air.  

  “Fuck Hope’s Peak Academy.” He shouts out at the top of his lungs as he throws the paper into the fire. It very nearly gets blown away but manages to catch on one of the sticks at the last moment. Fire ripping through the ink an paper, quickly chewing through the image of his face until nothing but flecks of ash are left. 

  “Fuck Izuru Kamukura.” 

  Another page ripped. 

  Another sheet on the fire.

  “Fuck what they did to me.” 

  Another page down.

  Another page sizzling atop the flames. 

  “Fuck Junko.” 

  Up in smoke.

  “And fuck them for not even knowing enough about me to write anything personal in this damn thing.” 

  With a mighty cheer from everyone around him, he throws the entire file on top of the pyre. In a blink it has been consumed. Roaring heat swelling around it. Completely covering the contents of the paper. Hot burning orange blending in with the crimson sky above. 

  Part of him had been expecting to feel some kind of loss at the sight. The closest connection he has to the life he lost was in those pages. And now they’re gone. But he can’t bring himself to care. All he feels is a weight off his shoulders. Blown up into the sky along with the dark pillars of smoke now twisting around them. 

  Good riddance to the fucking thing. All it is was is a reminder of what Hope’s Peak saw in him. Not a person. A thing. An assortment of useless traits they could throw away for something better. 

  “You feel better?” Nekomaru asks with a smirk. He’s leaning his weight back onto his hands, slouching back easily so he can still catch glimpses of the sky beyond the now steadily rising pillar of smoke.

  “Definitely.” He doesn’t waste the energy trying to hide his smile, “Who’s next then?” 

  They all look around the circle once more but it no longer feels quite as stilted. The tense air has been replaced with a warm buzz. Building excitement. 

  In the end, the one to rise into a kneel is Mikan. Her hands knotted into the fabric of her dress. Ibuki’s hand stays on her back as she shakily rises, holding onto her dress the entire time. 

  From the second she started to move, everyone falls silent. All waiting patiently. Following her movements. Well almost everyone is… But despite the way Hiyoko stares down at the ground, she doesn’t say a thing. She doesn’t even start breathing rapidly. She just sits there still as a statue. Waiting for Mikan to begin just like everyone else. 

 “Ummm…” Mikan’s lip wobbles and her legs shake but she stays standing there. Unlike Hajime, she isn’t looking out at the fire or even the crowd of classmates around her. She’s simply staring at her own hands where they clutch onto the well worn fabric. 

  “It’s okay, you don’t have to rush yourself. Take your time.” Nekomaru gives her an encouraging thumbs up which seems to calm down her shaking somewhat. But still she just stands there, unable to say a word.

  But just as he starts to wonder if he should go to her side, she catches them all off guard. Instead of speaking, she simply curls the cloth between her fists and tears. The fabric screams and shouts as it rips apart but she doesn’t stop. Not until it’s split into two frayed sides.

  Then she rips again.

  And again.

  And again.

  Her rips getting more and more ferocious with every tear. the pieces getting smaller and smaller. More and more frayed. Until there is barely even fabric left. Scraps of material that are barely even hanging on. 

  As she tosses the scraps into the fire she shouts at the top of her lungs, “FUCK DESPAIR!”

  Her face lights up bright red as everyone around her cheers. And she only grows more red and Sonia and Ibuki jump up, wrapping their arms around her into one large crushing hug. But it’s impossible for anyone to ignore the way she’s beaming. The sparkle in her eyes that he would have assumed was impossible to witness if you had asked him just a few weeks ago. She somehow looks five years younger older at the same time. Caught up in the moment as the flames lay waste to the fabric. Leaving it smoldering atop the pyre.

  “Yes! Fuck despair!” Sonia reaches into her box to grab a handful of scrunched up paper balls. But as soon as she throws one handful on, she reaches down and grabs another. And another. Throwing each one onto the fire with as much strength as she can muster. 

  A few of the balls miss the flames, gently tumbling along the ground but not for long. Before they know it, other people are stood up to, grabbing the paper that had missed the flames and throwing them right back on. Not a single scrap escaping their watchful gaze. 

  They might as well have descended into animals. The fire burning within them all is no where near put out by the time they’ve finished with all of Sonia’s scraps. If anything it has been stoked. Burning hotter and brighter than ever before. 

  Before long everyone is standing, rummaging through their own boxes to rip and tear at their files. While he had felt very little for the loss of his own file, seeing the comments and stories they had added to everyone’s files go up in smoke does fill him with the slightest bit of remorse. Possibly the only positive thing that ever came from the school burnt along with the rest of the remnants. 

  That remorse is quickly gone though when he looks around at the others. At his friends. This might just be one of the best idea’s he’s had in a long time. 

  “Thank god Hope’s Peak is gone!” Hiyoko screams, tearing at her file like a feral animal. Any pretense at civility is long gone. Yet somehow, despite him having held her as she cried, this is somehow the most raw he has ever seen her. Mahiru does her best to help Hiyoko throw the loose pages into the flames. Barely even caring about how successful they actually are. No one bothers chasing after the paper this time. All too focused on their own pursuits to even pay attention to the world around them. 

  “You know who I really hate?” Akane grumbles, standing up slowly, “Junko fuckin’ Enoshima.”

  Everyone cheers at that. How could they not. More files go tumbling onto the flames as the passion begins to spread like a contagion. Infecting them all. 

  “Junko took everything from us.” Kazuichi furiously ties his boiler suit up into a ball, chucking the fabric onto the flames with reckless abandon. 

  “My fucking eye is gone because of her!” Fuyuhiko launches his old eye patch onto the flames as he says that. 

  At his side Peko is just standing still. Watching the chaos with a detached look on her face as she lingers on the side lines. 

  “My arm too…” Nagito mutters, his eyes meeting Fuyuhiko’s across the flames. 

  As he does so he begins ripping up his own file, all signs of the smile that has seemed to permeate his face since he woke up gone. A chilling, stern expression taking over his face instead. And yet somehow it’s the best thing he’s seen all day. 

  “We were just tools in her stupid fucking game.” It takes him a second to realise who even spat out those words. The voice is already so unfamiliar and foreign. But when he looks up he’s shocked to find Kazuma. Vein bulging on their forehead and chest heaving with righteous fury. Their eyes perfectly reflect the blaze of the fire. A perfect image. 

  “She just tossed us aside after everything.” Mahiru’s hair matches her face as she joins everyone else tossing clothes onto the fire. They are probably smothering it more than anything else at this point but none of them can bring themselves to care. Not right now. 

  “We were nothing to her.” Hajime mumbles coldly. 

  All his memories of her come rushing in at once. The painful lilt of her voice. Too sweet. Too childlike. A wolf in sheep’s clothing. She had whispers sickly lies into his ear. Tempted him. Manipulated him when he was nothing, and built up his empty shell. He might have been manufactured by Hope’s Peak but she created at least half of him. The joint creation of the two worst things he knows in this world. It sends a shiver down his spine. 

  “Give me that Fuyuhiko.” He doesn’t even bother waiting for a response before he’s pulled the bottle from Fuyuhiko’s hand. Judging by the ease with which he pulls it loose he doesn’t think he wants to know what his scowl look right now. 

  As if forming a line they each empty their boxes onto the fire before passing the bottle along taking a giant swig. Even now his mind can’t help but wonder how much bacteria they’ve passed along the line but at least he got in early enough that he only had Fuyuhiko to contend with. 

  Akane is the first person in the line. Everyone jumps back dramatically as she grips both sides of the box, letting her wrinkled pile of clothes drop straight onto the flames, sending embers spewing out from all directions. A bunch of other papers go flying out with it but he isn’t able to catch sight of them before they’re consumed.

  Snatching the bottle from Hajime, she takes a large swig and lets the vodka sit in her mouth for a few seconds before finally swallowing. “I ain’t the same anymore after her…” She hisses seethingly, before kicking the box into the fire with surprising ease. A few of the logs get knocked askew but other than that it stays surprisingly stable.

  It's after that the pseudo line begins to form. Without warning Akane shoves the bottle at Mikan. And then she just turns and walks off. Slinking back into the depths of the crowd of people now standing around. Hands in her pockets and head hunched over towards the ground. 

  Mikan takes on Akane’s mantle very well though. Unlike Akane she takes a heavy swig first before setting the bottle down with a shaking hand. Thankfully managing to avoid knocking over the bottle into the fire. 

  As she steps forward she tips the remnants of her box into the fire. Letting the file splay out into the fire. Their red writing visible for a split second before disappearing into flame.

  “I…I had t-to kill people.” As usual her voice is as shaky as her hands as she passes the bottle along to Kazuichi. But even after it’s been passed along she still hovers at his side, staring into the flames unmoving. Watching the remnants of her old life turn into nothing. 

  Taking a swig for courage, Kazuichi simply chucks the entire box into the fire, dousing it with a splash of vodka to make sure it all catches, “She made me make the worst killing machines in the world…” He wipes the corner of his mouth with his sleeve and shoves the bottle into Peko’s chest. 

  He’s not sure why but he finds himself taken aback when she actually takes a swig of the bottle. She is a Yakuza like Fuyuhiko so she should fit right in with that scene and yet it’s the most unnatural thing about all of this. 

  “She made me lose sight of everything I cared about…” 

  Unlike the others, anger doesn’t bite at her voice the same way. In fact he doesn’t think he’s ever seen her angry. No one could tell any of them they were wrong to be angry right now and yet she’s the same as ever. Completely stoic as she finishes burning the last of her things and passes the bottle to Fuyuhiko. 

  “She made me into the person I always wanted to avoid becoming.” 

  Fuyuhiko doesn’t even look back to see if his things have successfully set alight. All he cares about is taking another long swig and turning back to Peko. The two of them drifting back into the darkness with Akane. Heads almost as low as hers - not that he had thought that was possible. 

  As they walk away the fire shifts slightly as pieces of wood and burnt debris start to fall and settle. As it does so the file he had thrown on the file splays open for a moment, showing some of the remaining pages that hadn’t been ripped out in a rage earlier. Fuyuhiko’s young smiling face looking out innocently. Two sparkling and youthful eyes meeting his own. 

  The anger seems to have fizzled out along with Fuyuhiko and Peko. Nothing but embers left in their hearts as Sonia steps up, drink hot on her tongue and tears warm in her eyes, “She made me harm my own people. Turning them into weapons of war…”

  He had barely even considered Novoselic since waking up. It was just never worth his time to think about. Almost the entire time he had known it it had been a worn torn country. From the second Sonia returned and her parents ‘mysteriously’ died they had been locked in battle after battle. But after hearing about the country from Sonia herself he can only imagine the weight on her shoulders. Thousands, no millions of lives resting upon her. The weight of war heavy on the shoulders of a girl who doesn’t even have a fully formed brain. 

  God, he needs the vodka back now. The bacteria doesn’t even matter anymore.

  Gundham lightly rest his hands on both her shoulders, casually guiding her to his side without a moments hesitation. She slots in at his side with ease, both her hands burying themselves in his scarf. Keeping him as close as possible as he starts to throw his stuff onto the fire. Still not daring to step away from her. 

  “My….” Gundham doesn’t take the drink at first. But after stumbling over the first world he takes a shuddering breath in and gently coaxes the bottle from Sonia. Only taking a small sip before burying his face into the scarf, “I do not even deserve to be called the ultimate breeder anymore.” He shoves the bottle into Nekomaru as fast as possible, hiding his entire face away as Sonia curls around his arm. The two almost perfectly intertwining. 

  For a few moments Nekomaru just studies the bottle. Reading the label over and over as if it’s just going to suddenly reveal the truth of the universe to them or something. After the sour taste of the last few they all wait patiently for Nekomaru. Bracing themselves and hanging off of every word. 

  No one says a thing to interrupt him when he finally does take a short swig of the bottle and carefully throws each item onto the fire. Only stopping to wrap the long chain around his neck once more, “I too have lost my right to my own title. My life was saved but at the cost of how many others…?” He looks around at them all as if they’re going to be able to give him any answers. If they can’t even deal with their own stuff he has no idea how Nekomaru thinks they’re going to be able to help but it’s a quaint thought… 

  “She stripped down what little of myself I had and built me up as something pure evil…” Kazuma holds the drink to their lips with one shaking hand, the other already shaking the box out over the fire. 

  As they pass the bottle to Teruteru, Hajime finds himself holding his breath. Teruteru’s eyes flit about frantically for a few moments before finally settling. Resolve building hard and fast in his chest. Only the sound of the crackling fire remains as he finally takes a step forward, chugging the bottle until there’s less than  a quarter of the vodka left inside. 

  “She made me…” His voice stutters for a second. Each word wet and heavy. But they never get to hear him finish the thought. With swimming eyes he turns away. Jaw clenched as tightly as is physically possible. Letting his teeth grind harshly against each other, “You know what, I’m not doing this.” 

  He throws the box frantically behind him. Not even caring that it doesn’t make it into the fire; only barely catching the edge of the flames. He can’t run off fast enough, not even bothering to hand the bottle over to Ibuki. Instead he lets it thump onto the sandy floor next to her as he sprints off. The doors clattering loudly behind him as he shoves his way back into the building. 

  Not one of them chases after him. Not even Akane and Nekomaru move an inch. They all just stay frozen there. 

  “Nagito?” He gently brushes against Nagito’s shoulder, nodding towards the bottle but Nagito just shakes his head. Stepping back slightly as of hoping he’ll just sink into the darkness like Peko, Fuyuhiko, and Akane. But instead of the depths of the crowd, it’s just Hajime’s shadow he’s hiding in.

  In the end it’s Ibuki who is the one to pick up the bottle. But instead of drinking it, she simply holds it at her side as she slowly walks over to her box. They watch with rapt attention as she gently pulls out a crumpled stack of papers, weighing them up carefully. He’s still practically on the other side of the fire to her but even from here he can recognise the papers at once. They’re music sheets. 

  Instead of throwing them onto the flames, she simply sinks to the floor. Sitting in front of the fire cross legged once again. As if she’s commanding them all, they sink down with her. Waiting in silence just like they did with everyone else. But instead of focusing on Ibuki, they’re all peering at the sheets of music now crumpled in her hands. Sheets worn down with years of use and care. 

  Sighing with a kind of worldliness he wouldn’t usually associate with her she finally takes the inaugural swig of the vodka. As she does so she rocks back and forth slightly. Her fingers running over the paper in her hand over and over. Tracing every line as if they aren’t all waiting patiently on her. As if it’s just her and the sheets sat here. 

  “Part of me wanted to keep these. It seems silly but destroying music is like burning your soul. But maybe these parts of my soul need to be burned.”

  For a few seconds she just sits there, clutching the sheets even tighter. They had been crumpled from the start but they’re almost completely wrecked now. Nothing but scrap in her fists. Only when they’re well and truly wrecked does she finally release her hold, flicking them into the fire with tears in her eyes.

  “She’s tainted the heart of music and dance forever.” Her shoulders sag slightly and she hunches over. Curled in enough that her face is tucked away from view. Disguising the shaking of her shoulders as best as she can. 

  As raw as it is, it might be just what the rest of them needed to see. Especially Hiyoko. 

  Ibuki crawls forward in the sand to take a drink of vodka before pushing it over to Mahiru. Shaking herself off as the burning of the vodka begins to bleed into her blood stream. 

  Dragging the box close to the fire she gently lifts out the precious kimono. With tender hands she holds it out. Admiring the way it shimmers beautifully in the setting sun. Fire flickering in front of it, casting beautiful shadows in each of the creases. 

  “I…I’m the same. I didn’t want to lose my kimono but…” Without a second look she tosses the kimono over the fire. It spread out over the wood, the edges catching on fire first before the flames begin to lick across the rest of the fabric. Devouring the entire thing.

  With tears thick on her cheeks she begins to ramble. Words spilling from her lips without leaving her any time to breath. Just stumbling ramble after ramble, “Fuck my parents, and my grandmother, and Hope’s Peak, and the future foundation, and Junko.” She spits each name desperately. As if still clinging onto them like she had been clinging onto her kimono. Clawing after them. 

  Mahiru subtly reaches towards Hiyoko. Her hand curling around Hiyoko’s wrist. She pulls Hiyoko into her, letting her cry into her shoulder as she runs a soothing hand down her hair. 

  She doesn’t even bother picking up the vodka. Nor does she go into her box. Instead she just sits there, Hiyoko pressed into her - clinging on for dear life - and says, “I…I’m just…tired…”

  Honestly, he feels the same. It had felt so light earlier but now with the light fading and the fire slowly burning itself out on their ashes he just feels tired.

  No one makes a move for the vodka or for their boxes or even for the fire itself. They simply watch as Mahiru carefully pulls a stack of printed photo’s from her pockets. They aren’t photo’s he has seen before - although he certainly recognises the subjects.

  Hiyoko and Ibuki performing on a stage dripping with hot pink blood. Kazuichi sat on the edge of some scaffolding, welding the edge of a tall metal structure. A shot from behind Peko and Fuyuhiko as they stare out over a railing at the destruction of Tokyo. The photos of their last few years together. 

  They sit in silence, pressed up against each other. The warmth of the fire is the only thing staving away the cold. As the fire gets lower and lower, they watch Mahiru slowly toss each picture into the flames. Embers slowly dissolving the images until nothing is left. Memory after memory broken down and remade into ashes. 

  He slowly finds his head drooping onto Kazuichi’s shoulder. His eyes fluttering closed as he bathes in the warmth of the fire. 

  And he takes in his first breath of the new air.  

Chapter Text

28/05 - 00:01

  Even as she sun dips beneath the horizon and a chill is brought in with the sea breeze, they don’t move. Hours pass and the fire burns away until not even embers remain but still they sit there. They’re all aware that they should head back indoors. Especially as goosebumps begin crawling up their arms. But still no one moves an inch. 

  From where he’s laying with his head nestled in Kazuichi’s shoulder he can only see a few of their classmates. However even from that view alone it’s clear that by now a good number of people are just asleep. Using each other as pillows in lieu of actual beds. 

  He can see Fuyuhiko with his eye closed, leaning into Peko. Not to mention Mikan with her head in Ibuki’s lap, and Hiyoko with hers on Mahiru. When you look at them like this they look far younger and more innocent than they really are. 

  But as much as they would like to keep laying there, the longer they wait the more the goosebumps spread. Soon the crackle of the fire has been replaced by the chatter of teeth. Even the people sleeping have started to curl in on themselves. Instinctively trying to hide away from the biting cold. 

  Without many other choices they find themselves slowly shaking everyone awake. Leading their bleary eyed classmates up and off the beach. Together they march back inside, their arms folded tightly to their chests as they seek out any kind of warmth. It seems Gundham had the right idea with his scarf after all…

  As they march along Kazuichi sticks right by his side. His feet only just managing to avoid biting at Hajime’s heels as they walk along. After the fifth near miss he considers just turning around and asking Kazuichi to give him some space but he holds himself back. It’s not like he’s trying to get in the way. And it would be a little unfair of him to ask for personal space now when he was using Kazuichi as a pillow for the last few hours. 

  They are all far too tired to make conversation as they walk. And this is only exacerbated by the stairs as they stumble and fumble their way up each one, lead by Nekomaru and Sonia who seem to be the only people put together and awake enough for this kind of trek. 

  As usual he’s still sandwiched between Nagito and Kazuichi. Kazuichi still biting at his heels. It certainly isn’t helped by the fact that Nagito keeps stopping in the middle of the stairs to yawn blearily. Although he’s doing his best to stay upright and keep moving, he can’t hide the way he sways and wobbles with every step.

  As they draw near to the top of the stairs he leans his head in near to Nagito. Getting close enough to hopefully prevent anyone else overhearing his muffled whisper, “Are you okay?” 

  “Hm?” Nagito cocks his head to one side as his brain slowly processes Hajime’s question, “Oh, yes. I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about someone like me.”

  He waves Hajime off with a casual sense of ease but he’s not quite good enough of an actor to pull the wool over Hajime’s eyes. Not even that innocent looking smile can distract him from the pale pallor of Nagito’s skin. Especially not when he’s wobbling about like that. He didn’t even get involved with everyone else last night. Standing with them and yet somehow standing off the to side at the same time. Absent in everything but his physical presence. 

  “I don’t believe you.” He whispers even softer into Nagito’s ear. But still he keeps moving. Marching along with everyone else back into the communal area. 

  Although he doesn’t verbally acknowledge that he even heard Hajime, his stiffened shoulders say more than enough. With them walking like this he can’t see Nagito’s face but he doesn’t need to when everything is so clearly visible from his posture alone. 

  Unfortunately, before he can say anything more they begin to pull into the communal area and the buzz of chat slowly begins to rise as everyone says their exhausted goodbyes. He can barely even see most of the room through the thick crowd of people milling about. However bit by bit people start to vanish, rubbing their eyes and yawning widely as they disappear. 

  The entire time he sticks close to Nagito, not bothering to try and disguise the pointed looks he’s throwing the mans way. He’s distantly aware of Kazuichi who is still diligently following behind him; thankfully now far enough away to not be at risk of stepping on Hajime’s feet. 

  But as everyone else begins to disappear Nagito remains right in the middle of the communal area. Staring off at something far beyond this place. 

  “Nagito, are you coming?” He takes a tentative step forward towards the rooms, looking back at Nagito as if hoping to coaxing him along. 

  But Nagito just shakes his head, offering yet another sweet innocent smile. His eyes crinkling up softly, “I think I’m just going to stay up and read. I’m not really feeling tired yet.” He grabs a random book from the shelves and sits himself down on the couch. Completely ignoring Kazuichi and Hajime who are now just standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. 

  Well two can play at that game. Clenching his jaw he crosses the room and grabs a book for himself. Throwing himself onto the couch next to Nagito, “Sounds nice. I’ll join you.”

  Honestly, he’s not even sure why he’s putting in this much effort. There’s nothing wrong with Nagito wanting to avoid sleeping for a little while. It would be hypocritical for him to think any differently. Yet the thought of leaving Nagito in here alone makes him seethe. 

  “You don’t -” Nagito makes a halfhearted attempt at shooing away Hajime but he doesn’t even need to finish the sentence to know how pointless the attempt is. A mere glance at Hajime’s expression is all he needs to fall back into the couch with a sigh and a fake smile, “Okay. That would be nice.”

  “Good.” He reciprocates with a false smile of his own. Not letting it reach his eyes. 

  Poor Kazuichi is left alone in the middle of the room, yawning softly and shifting his weight from side to side. Stuck between his need to collapse into a warm bed and wanting to keep an eye on Hajime, or Nagito, or maybe both of them. Honestly, he’s not too sure exactly what it is that’s keeping his sticking around like this. 

  Looking up over the edge of his book he gives Kazuichi a shaky thumbs up. Subtly giving him the hint. But when he doesn’t move Hajime moves onto a slightly less subtle approach, “I’ll see you tomorrow Kazuichi.”

  “Oh…okay. See you tomorrow.” He reluctantly slinks off down the corridor, dragging his feet the entire time. The smile on his face is even less convincing than Nagito’s but he ignores it, hoping the other man will at least understand where he’s coming from. 

  Once Kazuichi’s door has clicked closed behind him there’s no one left in the room except him and Nagito. Both of them sat side by side on the couch, a good thirty to forty centimeters sat between the two of them.

  Absentmindedly he flicks along the pages, barely even aware of whats on the page. Even though he’s not looking Nagito’s way, he’s acutely aware of the speed with which the other man flicks the pages. The quiet shallow breaths coming off of him softly.

  Should he broach the topic with the other man and actually ask how he’s doing? Or will that do more harm than good. It’s hard to tell. But what if there’s something wrong with his arm again. It’s not like he can trust Nagito of all people to actually tell him the truth about how he’s feeling. 

  However, the longer he sits there waiting, the less and less inclined he feels to break the comfortable quiet that sits between them. It feels calm and peaceful here. And calm isn’t something he has really associated with Nagito before. At least not since their first day or two inside the program. And yet there’s no denying it. He hasn’t felt this way since Mikan and Nagito left the patient room. He had forgotten how nice it felt to drift away surrounded by other people. A far cry from sleeping in that dark quiet room alone. 

  Bit by bit, he slowly starts to let his thoughts drift away from Nagito. Sinking into the couch and gently flicking through the book. Finally letting the words stick into his mind. It’s not exactly an interesting book. A murder mystery. A little insensitive considering everything they (and Makoto and the others) went through. He’s surprised anyone would even want this thing around and yet he keeps flicking through anyway. Letting himself get sucked into the bland and predictable story. 

  He’s so sucked in that it takes him a few minutes to notice Nagito’s head starting to drop. It’s only when the book begins to slowly slide from his hands that he notices his eyes have drifted closed. 

  “Nagito?” He whispers tentatively. But even with Nagito’s head lolling slightly, he half expects the other mans eyes to snap open at once. They never do though. Not that he dares actually wake him up. Based on how he’s been looking he could definitely do with a little rest, even if he’s too stubborn to actually rest. 

  So instead of waking him, he simply stays there. In the back of his mind he knows he should probably leave him be and head back to his own room but he can’t bring himself to leave. Not when everything is so calm and peaceful here. In his head he tries to justify this by telling himself he’s just watching over Nagito but he can’t fool himself.

  He knows he should probably take his own advice and rest but instead he keeps on flicking through his book. Turning the pages one by one. Going through the motions even though he already knows who the murderer is. He’s so lost in the story that he’s actually not sure how much time has passed. An hour. Two hours. More? Who knows. He can’t even bring himself to care.

  Slowly he begins to feel himself drifting away. The words on the page becoming fuzzier and fuzzier until they are no longer legible. Nothing but squiggles on the page. Something in the back of his mind tells him that he should probably go back to his room. Surely that would be comfier. But that still isn’t enough to actually make him get up.

  Instead he drifts off next to Nagito. Head sagging into the cushions of the couch and book slowly dropping onto the ground. Thumping softly on the tough surface before he finally falls into the abyss. 

~~~

28/05 - 03:12

  When he first jerks awake he assumes he’d had a nightmare. It’s not exactly a stretch. Every other time he’s woken up this suddenly that’s been the case. Screaming echoes inside his mind. Ricocheting around the room. It’s only when he realises his throat isn’t burning that he starts to notice that he isn’t the one screaming. 

  A loose fist comes flying over at him. Slamming into his arm and jerking him upright. Heart thundering in his chest he looks around, still trying to get his bearings. 

  He’s not in his room. Not in any room actually. He’s still laying on the couch next to a currently writhing Nagito. His metal arm flying around with far too much speed considering how heavy it is. 

  As it turns out, it wasn’t Hajime screaming but it most certainly wasn’t all in his head. While writhing on the couch, Nagito screams his lungs out. he has no idea how no one has come out of their own rooms yet. It takes everything he has not to slam his hands over his ears as hard as he can.

  Reaching out, he grips Nagito’s shoulders as hard as he can in the hopes of pulling him out of his nightmare, “Nagito!” As he calls out his shakes Nagito as hard as he can until his eyes finally flick open and the screaming stops. But even then Nagito is just staring up at him with fearful eyes. Pupils dilated and heart thumping loud enough for Hajime to be able to hear it.

  “Hey, it’s okay. You’re here with me. Remember? In the future foundation building.” He mutters as soothingly as he can. Gripping onto Nagito. Bring him back. Grounding him.

  Bit by bit, his heart rate begins to slow and his breathing plateaus off. The short sharp breaths slowly evening out somewhat.

  “Hajime?” Nagito blinks slowly as if he’s only just noticing he isn’t alone in the room. 

  Unable to hold back his own sigh, he carefully releases Nagito’s shoulder and leans back. Backing away from his personal space as much as the couch will let him. 

  “Yeah, it’s me. There’s no one else here.” His shoulders begin to slump slightly as the adrenaline slowly burns out of his system. 

  Remind him never to get woken up like that again. He must say, he doesn’t enjoy the feeling of his heart in his throat all that much. 

  As if he doesn’t quite believe Hajime, Nagito looks around the room. Expecting something or someone to come launching out of the shadows. But everything remains as still and peaceful as ever. 

  “I…I see…” Nagito forces a wobbly smile but even then he doesn’t stop looking around. His head jerking in every direction the second the slightest sound breaks out. Flinching at every sound - both real and imaginary. 

  Clearing his throat he jumps to his feet. Still feeling his hands and legs tremble with the slightest bit of adrenaline still left in his system. He just needs to walk it off. 

  “Sit up, let me make you some tea.” He turns his back to hide as much of himself as possible. slinking off into the kitchen where he can hide even better as he flicks on the kettle and prepares two mugs of tea. After that he’s pretty sure they deserve a little tea. 

  As he works he sneaks a glance or two over his shoulder but Nagito is unmoving. Hunched over on himself so his chest is pressed up against his knees. Holding himself together like he’s something precious about to break. 

  Thankfully the shaking of his hands have died down by the time the water has finished boiling. With somewhat steadier hands, he finishes up the beverages to the best of his ability. He’s faintly aware of how Sonia would probably pass out at the mere sight of the tea but she’s not here right now and he gets the distinct feeling that Nagito won’t even notice the quality - let alone care.

  Breathing in heavily, he braces himself once more. Arms tensing in anticipation as he grips both mugs delicately and carefully carries them over to the couches. Setting his own mug down onto the coffee table before approaching Nagito.

  “Here.” He presses the other hot teacup into Nagito’s hands which forces him to sit slightly upright. 

  Without a second thought Nagito brings the mug up to his lips, taking a long sip despite the scalding heat. He doesn’t even flinch. If you caught a glimpse of him while you were walking fast you might think he was sipping at a nice cool cup of water rather than scalding hot tea. 

  His teeth clink against the china loudly but Nagito is too out of it to notice or even care. He simply mumbles, “Thank you…” and continues on sipping away. 

  The liquid makes it impossible to hide the way his hands shake but Hajime keeps his mouth shut. Taking a sip of his own tea and diverting his eyes away as much as possible. Perhaps boiling hot liquid wasn’t the best call for someone who can’t keep a steady hand but Nagito isn’t complaining so he supposes it will do for now. 

  Neither of them speak as they finish up their teas. The only sounds sitting between them being the awkward sounds of stilted sipping and the chattering of Nagito’s teeth against the fine china. 

  They sit like that as they both finish up their teas. Letting the burning liquid attack their throats but leaving a warm tingling feeling flowing throughout them. Burning into their very blood. 

  Setting his cup back down on the coffee table he clears his throat and finally asks, “Did…Did you want to talk about it?”

  Silence. 

  Nagito just sits there. He’s still gripping onto his cup, even taking sips from it, despite all the tea being long gone. Only the slight fading warmth is left clinging onto the mug for dear life. It’s like he’s comatose. Still lost in his own world despite being sitting upright with his eyes open. 

  Moving as delicately and carefully as he can, he shuffles closer and closer to Nagito. Quickly closing the distance between them. But still nothing. He doesn’t even blink. Keeping his movements slow and deliberate, he reaches up and gently takes a hold of the mug in Nagito’s hands. Prying it away gently and setting into onto the coffee table next to his own. Only then does Nagito seem to wake up. At least part of him.

  He blinks slowly, looking around the darkened room for a second before his eyes land on Hajime. Something shifting beneath the surface that Hajime can't quite put his finger on.

  “You know. I have nightmares too. Basically every night.” He whispers under his breath as if he’s sharing some kind of top secret. As if he isn’t just admitting what they all already know if true. He would be more surprised to find out any of them weren’t having nightmares honestly. 

  “What are yours about?” Nagito swallows hard, choking down the lump in his throat. His usually relatively put together voice cracking and breaking with every syllable.

  “Junko mostly. Sometimes about Chiaki.” He runs a hand up and down his arm. Trying and failing to chase away the goosebumps that have invaded his skin.

  It feels strange to say out loud. Right now Chiaki and Junko feel like nothing more than faded memories. Things from another life and another time. 

  He isn’t even sure why he’s mentioning those two. He could have mentioned his other dreams nightmares. The ones that include all the bodies of the people he has killed or lead to their deaths. The memories of his past. The nightmares of all of their bodies broken and defeated on the floor. And yet it’s Junko and Chiaki that keep invading his mind. Their silhouettes cast upon every corner of his mind.  

  “I forgot the two of you were close before…before she died.”

  Hajime’s brain stalls for a moment. The words slip out like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Nothing but common sense. And yet this is somehow the first time he’s heard that, “We were?”

  Of course he knows he must have known Chiaki in some capacity before…everything. She had called out his name - his real name - on more than one occasion before her death. But so far he’s never heard a single one of the others ever referencing him in relation to Chiaki. It’s like he was nothing more than a ghost even before Hope’s Peak ‘killed’ him. 

  “You don’t remember?” Nagito frowns as if he’s actually surprised. Like he expected Hajime to suddenly remember all the memories that were taken from him, “I suppose that makes sense.”

  “How do you know we were close?” He leans in close suddenly. All thoughts about the nightmare and everything else completely gone. All he needs are answers 

  “I’m guessing mostly. Do you remember when we first met?”

  “In that basement with Junko and the others.” When he tried to shoot Nagito… “How could I forget…”

  At the time it hadn’t exactly been memorable but looking back now he can remember each and every second. The beginning of the end for them all. It does make him wonder what would have happened if things went down differently back then. Could anything have been changed?

  “She recognised you then. She called you Hajime despite you being Izuru then. Not to mention she always used to stay late to wait in front of the reserve school every day instead of heading to the dorms with everyone else.”

  “Every day…” He says the words out loud as if that will suddenly make them all make sense. 

  How could he have been meeting with her so often but never once met any of the others? Unless they just didn’t want to spend time with someone from the reserve department like him. But if that was the case then how did he even meet Chiaki in the first place? It makes no sense. And yet it makes everything so much cleaner in his mind at the same time. If they met that often then her reaction when she saw him would make sense. 

  He had thought he would get answers but he honestly feels like he just has more questions now. 

  “She must have really cared about you.” Nagito hums warmly like that’s supposed to make him feel better. But somehow it only makes him feel worse. 

  God why can’t he just remember?! The Neo World Program is fine to remember but of course everything else has to be gone. Useless…

  “I suppose so…”

  Nagito cracks a flimsy smile and leans back so his head almost hangs over the back of the couch. Staring up at the ceiling wistfully, “I wonder what she would think about us all now…”

  Now that feels like a loaded question. He’s not even sure that he’s the right person to be answering it. Technically he doesn’t even know Chiaki. At least not the real one. Not anymore. 

  However as he mirrors Nagito, leaning back into the cushions, he mumbles, “I only remember the Chiaki from inside the program but…I think she would be proud.”

  Maybe it’s just wishful thinking and him projecting the Chiaki he knew onto a girl who died years ago. But the Chiaki who had been with them in there would just be glad they were together. Relieved that despite all odds they were all still alive. Her sacrifice meant something as it allowed them to all be here today. 

  “Even though we lost to despair?” Nagito fully turns his head on the spot to allow his eyes to meet Hajime. In that moment he’s struck by how young he looks. Surrounded by the darkness of the door and with his eyes blown wide he just looks like a desperate child scrambling for any safety in the turbulent sea. 

  “Well we’ve won now, haven’t we?” 

  Winning doesn’t necessarily feel like the right word but as he says it now he knows it’s what needs to be said. Thinking about it as a victory is the best way to keep going. Besides, if Junko could see them right now it would be very clear they won against her. 

  “Hm…”

  “It’s funny thinking about my memory of you guys before all this now.” He chuckles ever so slightly. 

 When they’re all in this place like this it’s easy to forget these are the same people he met back then. Chiaki might be relieved to see how they are right now but he can only imagine what she would say if she saw them back then. At their worst. When Mikan was still foaming at the mouth for Junko and when Sonia and Mahiru would stand about crowds of people, expressions dripping with blood lust. 

  “I can’t imagine you thought highly of us. Not when you are the ultimate hope.”

  The ultimate hope… He shivers at the name. Goosebumps crawling down his spine. He had almost managed to forget they called him that. It feels ironic looking back on it now. He would love to see what those stuck up bastards in white coats would say seeing him now. If he had thought ‘Izuru Kamukura’ was bad then that was clearly only because he had forgotten about ‘ultimate hope’. 

  “Ugh, I hate that name.” He clenches his jaw, staring daggers into the ceiling above him. 

  “Sorry…” Nagito’s soft voice is barely even a whisper in the darkness of the room. 

  He waves it off as quickly as possible. The last thing he needs is to be making Nagito feel worse right now, “It’s…okay. But yeah, I didn’t particularly care about any of you. You all seemed very boring.”

  It was hard to see anything beyond his own entertainment back then. Unable to see the enjoyment in life beyond harsh and cold calculations. 

  “That makes sense.” Nagito chuckles ever so slightly but it sounds more like a strangled wheeze than anything else, “Not anymore?”

  “No…” The word slips out before he even needs to think about. 

  Honestly, it’s not like they’ve changed much. If anything they are more predictable and less chaotic now than they used to be. But somehow boring just doesn’t feel like the right word to describe them anymore. Too simplistic after everything that has happened, “But even if you were, I wouldn’t mind anymore. Boring might be nice now.”

  Boring. Once upon a time he had done everything in his power - including allying himself with Junko - to avoid that. Now a boring life almost sounds appealing. It’s the one thing he can’t actually have anymore though. At least not a normal boring life. Not after everything he did of his own free will. He’s dug his own grave. 

  “I can’t imagine living a boring life.” Nagito mumbles but he gets the distinct impression that he’s not actually saying it to Hajime. 

  From there they fall into an easy silence. Sat side by side but still far enough at an ocean sits between them. Both mirroring each other, staring up at the same ceiling but not sharing a word. It makes him wonder what the other man is seeing as he looks up. Does he see the same stretching white plains Hajime sees or does he see something different altogether? Is he still here in the same moment with Hajime?

  But even as they sit there, a single question still sits on his tongue. Waiting impatiently. Asking to be spoken. How on earth are you supposed to ask a question like that though? Especially when things are easy and peaceful now. 

  Yet despite all his questioning and uncertainty, he braces himself. Committing himself to ripping off the band aid. With a single sigh he asks, “What was your dream about…?”

  The question hasn’t even fully left his mouth before he’s regretting asking in the first place. It’s not like he needs to know. Bringing it up might just remind him of whatever the dream was about in the first place. And that was the last thing he needs. 

  Unable to hold back his curiosity, he fully turns his head to the side to get a better look at Nagito. Drinking in every aspect of his appearance. Trying to figure out what is going on inside his head.

  He’s no longer staring at the ceiling. His head hasn’t move an inch but his eyes are screwed shut now. Any ghost of a smile well and truly gone this time. Every muscle in his face is tensed. Ripples and wrinkles of tension pulled taut across every inch of his skin. He could swear that he can just about see Nagito’s eyes flitting about frantically under his eyelids. 

  “It was about everything before all this…”

  “Before? Do you mean before the program or before Junko?” He asks tentatively. Might as well see how far he can dig before he hits a sore spot at this point. He’s already committed to this path so why not go all the way. 

  “Before Hope’s Peak.”

  He would be lying if he said he hadn’t considered the possibility. It’s not like you become like Nagito if you had the most normal childhood. At least not from what he’s heard. During the program he only managed to get a few snippets of that life out from the other boy but it’s not like any of the things he did hear painted a positive picture. He does wonder what could have happened to cause him to react like that to his nightmares. Would part could warrant that level of terror? 

  “I remember you mentioning it inside the program.”

  It’s Nagito’s turn to whip around towards Hajime now. Eyes finally pulled open as he tries to read Hajime’s expression. A million thoughts visibly whizzing around in his head. Only after a few seconds does it all seem to click and the memories come flooding back. Tension quickly bleeding out of his expression until he’s slumped back down against the couch cushions, “I forgot we talked about that…”

  “Was it about your parents?” He narrows his eyes, trying to remember what he heard about the other boys parents.

  They never really came up all that much in conversation. In fact there’s only a single thing he remembers being told about Mr and Mrs Komaeda and that was about their death. Dying in a plane crash that Nagito was on does feel like the sort of thing that would warrant endless nightmares. There was a reason Junko didn’t leave any of their parents standing unlike with her own classmates. 

  Unfortunately he never does end up getting an answer to the question though. Clearing his throat a little too loudly, Nagito simply stands up. Jaw clenched despite smiling innocently. 

  “I shouldn’t keep you up like this.” His voice is a little shaky despite Nagito’s best efforts. An image that is only solidified by the soft tremble of his legs as he stands there. Unable to hide it by sitting now. 

  “It’s fine.” Sitting up straight he does his best to reassure Nagito but it’s pointless when he’s already made up his mind. There’s no changing the stubbornness in that man, no matter what he tries. 

  “No, you need sleep even more than me. I’ll rest in my room now but thanks for keeping me company even after I fell asleep.” Painting his face over with that sickly sweet smile, he turns around and begins making a beeline towards the bedrooms. Moving as fast as he can without actually running - as if that’s somehow supposed to make it look suspicious. 

  No! He’s not letting it end like this. Not right now. 

  “Nagito!” He shouts out loudly. Praying it isn’t loud enough to draw the attention of any of their friends. But if they didn’t wake up earlier from the screaming they should be good now still.

  Thankfully the shout is still enough to make Nagito stop right in his track. Grinding to an immediate halt, “What?”

  He hadn’t quite planned this far ahead. There has to be something he can say. Some way of getting through to the other boy that he will actually listen to. Because it’s clear he isn’t listening to Hajime if nothing else.

  Standing up as fast as he can, he stares daggers into the back of Nagito’s turned head, “You know that we didn’t exactly get along inside the program but things are different now. We’re on the same side. We don’t exactly have many allies so we’re all the same now. None of us is worse than the others.”

  It feels odd to consider Nagito a friend after everything. He couldn’t stand to see him just a few weeks ago. But all those feelings feel like distant faded memories. Meaningless in the face of everything. It’s hard to hold things against someone like him after everything. Besides, he was starting to think they were actually on their way to becoming friends. Not that Nagito of all people would be able to see that. 

  Sure enough, the words are still meaningless, “Thanks. You’re too kind to someone like me.” He just smiles that stupid crinkled smile, the feeling never reaching his closed eyes. Only surface level. 

  “No, you’re not doing that again. I mean it. There’s no ‘someone like me’ anymore. We’re all just the same.” He puts his foot down hard. Anger flaring up inside him a little too powerfully. 

  Why can’t he just get it? Why can’t he understand? 

  For a split second the words seem to puncture through as the smile immediately drops. His jaw clenching once more as he peers over his shoulder to meet Hajime’s glare, “I understand, and thank you. But I should really go to bed now.”

  and just like that he vanishes down the corridor. Not stopping at Hajime’s calls this time. Getting sucked up into the darkness of the hallway until the door clicks shut behind him and he’s well and truly gone. Leaving Hajime all alone in the corridor. 

Chapter Text

29/05 - 07:46

  “Hajimeeee!” A loud voice booms at his doorway, accompanied by a thundering knock which rattles the door viciously on it’s hinges. 

  He pulls his pillow over his head as tightly as he possibly can. If he pulls it tight enough will he be able to smother himself? Now seems like the perfect time to test that out as the knock rings out across the door one more time. 

  Sleep had once again eluded him all night. At this point he’s not even sure why he bothers when it’s clear that this room is cursed. Every time he tries to sleep in this place he’s either left high and dry or woken up prematurely, still covered in sweat. He can’t just have a nice sound nights sleep… Is that really so much to ask for? 

  It certainly isn’t helped when people decide that he doesn’t need to sleep. Smacking against his door and bellowing to no end. Sure it’s probably not the crack of dawn any more, but that doesn’t make him feel any more positive towards the situation.

  “Hajime, you need to leave your chamber. I will not waste my precious minutes calling for you any longer.” Gundham’s growl is practically deafening, even through the door. 

  He is yet to hear any explanation for why he should want to open the door but he finds himself groaning and throwing away the pillow any way. One day is all he asks for. Of course that’s too much for this place though.

  “Fine…fine…!” He grumbles more to himself than anyone else. Storming over like a stroppy toddler, he throws open the door. Glaring at the unsurprisingly well put together Gundham through his tousled bed hair, “What is it?”

  “Come with me. Your presence is needed and the supreme overlord of ice doesn’t wait.” Gundham simply turns up his nose. Walking away back towards the communal area and leaving Hajime stood in the doorway like a fool, still dressed in his crumpled pajama’s. Somehow he feels like he’s getting played. Just being dragged about like a play thing for everyone else to use. 

  Digging his nails into his palms he seriously just considers slamming the door and throwing himself into his bed. After all, he succeeded in his goal of getting rid of Gundham. With him long gone so there’s nothing else keeping Hajime from his rest any more. But of course the second he even considers it he catches sight of Gundham pacing in the room ahead. His pristine form passing across the doorway every few seconds as he glides from side to side. 

  Ughhhh, he doesn’t really have a choice does he? How did it become his job to keep an eye on everyone? Somehow he is starting to feel more like he’s been tricked into becoming some sort of parent to the entire gaggle of them.

  Running a hand down his face, he submits to his fate and closes the door just long enough to change into some fresh clothes. Smoothing down his hair in the cracked mirror before finally deeming himself to be fit to be seen in public. Not that there’s even anyone around he need to put in any effort for. He could come out with underwear on his head and it wouldn’t matter. Although he suspects Hiyoko would have something to say if nothing else. 

  Pulling himself together, he finally leaves his own room and stalks down the corridor towards the communal area. This better be worth it… He scowls the entire way, even as other people begin to come into view within the room. It’s not exactly a big group but its still some kind of organisation which does a slightly uneasy feeling rise in his chest. Does he even want to know what’s happening…

  Gundham is still pacing across the room, even as Hajime finally steps in, making his presence known with a loud and abrupt cough. Behind him sat around on the couches are Sonia, Nekomaru and Ibuki. All of them clutching little tea cups which they are slowly sipping from. Nekomaru makes it look more like a kids tea party than an actual ‘grown up’ meeting. 

  “I’m here…this better be good.” He shoves his hands into his pockets grouchily. That’s all he can do to stop himself from pulling his hair out. 

  “Rejoice, we have come up with a devilish plan.” Gundham finally stops pacing, placing both hands on his hips as he blusters loudly. 

  He’s not even sure if he wants to know what their plan is now but still he sighs, “Get to the point.”

  Thankfully Nekomaru is the one to take the reins of the conversation, “We’re going to look around the other floors. I know you guys already searched this floor well but the other floors are still pretty unknown.” 

  He hadn’t even really considered exploring the other floors. After the let down that was this floor, it didn’t really seem necessary. What more is there to see. Its pretty clear that this building was abandoned long before they came here. A skeleton of what once was. 

  “You did mention finding other clothes for us to wear. I believe that is a wonderful idea, however the clothes we have been provided with aren’t…swag…?” Sonia jumps in to explain. All of them working together to try and coax him into working along side them.

  “Exactly! Ibuki needs some more fresh entertainment or she’s gonna melt into a stir fry of crazy!”

  He raises his eyebrows even higher. Hands curling into tight fists within his pockets where no one else can see them, “You dragged me out for exploring?”

  With the way Gundham had been smacking his door down he had been expecting something more. Maybe something that was actually pressing. Certainly not this. But if this was all it was why did they need him specifically. Its not like they need him for any reason. Nothing is stopping them from exploring on their own.

  “Well you don’t need to come…” Ibuki deflates, her entire body melting into the ground as the air fizzles out of her with an astonishing speed, “We just thought you might want to…”

  Okay now he just feels guilty…great.

  Slowly removing his hands from his pockets, he runs a hand down his face, “It’s fine. You’re probably right that there could be some useful things.” Let’s be honest, it’s not like he was sleeping anyway. Rest is out of the picture so he might as well use the time productively. At least it will provide a little more entertainment.

  Sonia claps her hands with a little too much enthusiasm, “Oh good! I was concerned that you would not want to accompany us.” He should have realised this would all be her idea. 

  He must say, he’s a little surprised they wouldn’t have brought Mikan if both Sonia and Ibuki are here. It makes no sense. Certainly he can’t imagine Mikan turning them down if they’d asked her, regardless of her condition at the moment.

  “We are allowing you to join us on this expedition. You should show a little more enthusiasm or we shall cleave your very soul from your body.” Gundham holds his head up high, keeping the same haughty expression that he always has. Staring down at them all. He knows it’s all an act, he’s not stupid, but it still makes him want to roll his eyes.

  “When are we going?” 

  “Well, if you’re ready we were thinking of going now. It’s not like there is anything else to do.” Nekomaru scratches the side of his nose casually as he speaks.

  “Yeah, that’s fine. Let me grab an apple for the way first.”

  So with some food in hand, he joins the others as they begin their little impromptu adventure. All of them traipsing out side by side. He finds himself squished between Ibuki and Nekomaru as Gundham and Sonia lead the way. Completely oblivious to everyone else following behind them.

  “Where are we going first them?” He looks between Ibuki and Nekomaru. Wondering if there’s any plan at all - not that there are many choices. When you take out this floor it’s not like there’s really much more left to the building. It isn’t like it’s a skyscraper or anything.

  “We should finish looking on the bottom floor!” Ibuki jumps up and down with far too much energy considering how early it must be in the day at this point. Even just watching her is draining enough. 

  “Yes, after all we have already seen a lot of that floor.” Nekomaru hums, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, before giving Ibuki an approving thumbs up. 

  Well that was easier than he was expecting.

  “Sounds like a plan. Is that okay with you guys too?” He calls out to Sonia and Gundham in front but they only give a sharp nod of acknowledgement before going straight back to their chatter. 

  Together they all head down the stairs with Ibuki half skipping and half galloping at their side. The entire time she just talks about all the things she wants to find in the building. A list which only gets less and less realistic with every passing second. 

  “Imagine if they had a giant stage to perform on!” Her eyes sparkle at the mere thought, regardless of the fact that even she must realise she’s going to be let down. 

  “I don’t think the future foundation would make a stage in their office building.” Nekomaru mumbles, trying to let her down slowly.

  “Well, we didn’t think they would have a secret room to host a virtual world. You never know for sure with this place!” 

  It’s almost impressive that she can keep up this kind of attitude all day every day. No matter how many boring empty rooms they go into, she still just as excited for each one. 

  By the time they’ve almost gotten to the end of the bottom floor he’s almost entirely given up hope. There are only so many dull and empty office rooms that you can go into before you lose interest entirely. Even the rooms that had seemingly once been home to Makoto and the other are dull and empty now. It’s a miracle when they finally do stumble upon a room which has been stocked with a minimal amount of furniture which isn’t just desks.

  “Finally.” Gundham sighs as he steps into the room.

  By normal standards it’s barely even work noticing. It must have been a break room one upon a time as there are still a few couches scattered around the room. Unlike the ones in the common room in front of their rooms and in front of Makoto and the others rooms, these couches are covered in a thick layer of dust. Every surface completely abandoned. Sitting in here too long would no doubt damage their lungs but right now he can’t bring himself to care.

  After spending so long looking at absolutely nothing, they all jump at the opportunity to examine the few cupboards and shelves scattered about the dusty and forgotten room. 

  “We should examine this room from top to bottom!” Sonia speaks in her most regal tone as she points straight into the room with a little more enthusiasm than is warranted. 

  “You got it!” Ibuki cheers, “We should all take a different cupboard or shelf to find everything!”   

  None of them have any arguments, all splitting off and taking a different section. He ends up examining a tall bookshelf tucked away in one corner of the room. The bookshelf is too big for him to hold his breath the entire time he’s examining but he does his best. Only taking in breaths when he needs to and always making sure to turn his head fully away before taking that deep breath in.

  Much like the shelves upstairs, this one has just been stocked with a selection of light reading. Why they would need this in a building like this one, he has no idea. Still he does his best to read each and every spine. Praying for something that will make his time worthwhile. However beyond seeing a few book covers that are a little raunchier than he ever signed up to see, he ends up with a big pile of nothing. All that lung damage for nothing… 

  It’s a relief when Ibuki finally squeals, snapping his attention, “Oooh! Look what I found!” It’s enough to have them all whipping around excitedly. Searching for something that isn’t a complete waste. 

  They all run as fast as they can to Ibuki’s side, trying to decipher the plain wooden box she’s holding. Excitement quickly building in each and every one of them. However the closer he gets, the more that excitement begins to die away. 

  Dominoes… Of all the exciting discoveries he was imagining them making, this certainly wasn’t one of them. Why would any of the future foundation members even bring this to a building like this? He gets the feeling Makoto and the others weren’t exactly devoted dominoes players while they were here. At least not to the level of bringing dominoes with them all the way over here.

  Trying to hold back his disappointment, he backs up slightly from the rest of the group. His shoulders sagging a little as he holds his head a bit lower. It’s his fault really for getting so excited at what Ibuki was saying. This wasn’t hard to see coming at all. 

  But from out here he can see the others expressions fall as they slowly realise what the big discovery was. Thankfully Ibuki is about the only person who doesn’t notice as she’s smugly smiling with her eyes closed. Pride oozing off of every inch of her.

  Only one person seems completely lost at the whole situation. 

  “What is it?” Gundham leans forward until his nose is almost pressed fully against the sleek wooden box. Without even asking for permission he pulls it from her hands and turns it over slowly. Examining it from every side as if it’s suddenly going to sprout wings or something. 

  That’s all that’s needed for Ibuki to open her eyes, mouth hanging open at Gundham’s words, “Its a game, duhhhhh! Did you grow up at the bottom of the sea!” She looks over at Hajime, Sonia, and Nekomaru for back up. Relying on them to confirm her own sanity. 

  Normally he might think she’s being a little dramatic but as he pulls off the top and stares at the small pieces, Gundham doesn’t seem to understand any more. Still somehow absolutely lost. 

  “Ha! I was raised in the deepest pits of hell. Only hell fire and demons remained. I had no need for trivial human appliances like ‘games’!” Gundham spits out the words, holding one of the small plastic pieces up into the light. Examining them for hidden runes or something knowing Gundham. With every turn of the piece, he only frowns harder. Running a finger along the surface tentatively. 

  It’s not like he ever thought Gundham was normal - you would have to be insane to - but to not have been aware of the game is strange. Just how sheltered was his childhood? 

  Still not taking his eyes off the piece, he presses the full box into Sonia’s hands. Completely ignoring Ibuki’s outstretched hands. 

  “Oh, dominoes! I have seen these before. They look most fun!” Nothing he’s heard about dominoes warrants this level of excitement but whatever floats their boat. He’s not going to be the one to tell them to stop getting excited. If it makes them happy then that’s all that matters. 

  “I didn’t realise people still used dominoes, they’re quite an old choice.” Nekomaru mumbles more to himself than anyone else. That was the same impression he got though. 

  “Probably not the most exciting of games you could get.” He mutters as he spots an entire stack of game boxes on the very same shelves she had found the dominoes on. Cluedo. Monopoly. Scrabble. Risk. An entire selection of far more interesting games and this is the one Ibuki decided to show them. It makes no sense whatsoever. 

  “I don’t understand. What do you do with these contraptions.” Gundham takes another piece from the box Sonia is diligently holding, trying to pieces the parts together like a puzzle but getting nowhere fast.

  “Its pretty simple, come over here.” He clears his throat and beckons everyone over to the coffee table in the middle of the room. They all hunch around as Sonia sets the box down into front of Hajime. Letting him take the reins, “In the actual game you match the numbers with each other to make a line, like this.” 

  He takes a handful of the tiles from the box and begins to quickly lay them out. The entire time he can feel everyone watching his every movement but he keeps on going as if he hadn’t noticed at all. 

  It only takes a few seconds to set all the dominoes out into a little line, all the numbers matching up nicely. It’s not perfect but it’s decent enough to demonstrate the basics. 

  “See. It’s simple.” He waves a hand over the tiles, “But when you play properly you take it in turns to put pieces down and the first one to finish wins.” It’s not like it’s the most complicated of games. Even if you had never seen the game before it only takes a few seconds to get the general idea. 

  “Hmmmm, this is too trivial a game to be worth any time.” Gundham huffs, turning up his nose at the concept just as Hajime expected. It’s not exactly the kind of riveting game play he would expect Gundham of all people to be drawn to.

  Ibuki doesn’t seem to feel the same way though. She sticks out her bottom lip as far as it can go and huffs with her arms crossed, “Buttttttt Haji is missing the best part.” She gently nudges Hajime aside before sitting each domino upright as carefully as she can. The entire time she holds her breath, so scared to knock them over before it’s ready. Only when they’re all perfectly lined up does she dare take a breath, “When you line them up you can make them fall onto each other like bam clash boom!” 

  With that she delicately knocks over the first domino and sits back grinning to herself. One by one they knock into each other, creating a perfect little line laid out on the table. The entire time Ibuki is beaming proudly, puffing up her chest as if she had just solved world hunger. Nevertheless he claps along with everyone else, not wanting to be a complete party pooper. 

  “I see! Like a chain reaction of disaster!” Gundham is grinning now, his teeth glinting a little too much considering they’re just knocking pieces of plastic into each other.

  “That’s one way to say it.” An involuntary laugh bubbles from his chest. Leave it to Gundham to frame it that way. 

  Gathering up the pieces and hurriedly shoving them into the box, Sonia excitedly announces her big idea, “We should make a long domino run together!”

  “What, here and now?” He raises an eyebrow and passes a skeptical look along to Nekomaru. But the other man is smiling almost as much as Gundham and Ibuki. 

  Is he just missing something? Are dominoes more exciting than he was giving them credit for or something? 

  “Why not?” Sonia gives him her best puppy dog eyes, clinging onto the box of dominoes even tighter, “Much like Gundham, I have never gotten the chance to play with such things and Ibuki makes it look so exciting!”

  “If that’s what you call exciting.”

  But regardless of his attempts, he is powerless when faced with puppy dog eyes. There is nothing he can do but join in on their little scheme. Ferreting out another two boxes of dominoes from the cupboard, they start getting to work. 

  “It should go from here to all the way over there!” Ibuki excitedly points at one of the shelves in the far corner of the room and wiggles her finger around the room in an invisible pattern before pointing towards the door that leads out of the room.

  “Oh! It should go all the way down the hall.” Sonia’s eyes light up with all the grand plans which are now rushing through her head. 

  It might be a little ambitious considering the number of tiles they have but he holds his tongue. They’ll just find out how far they can get soon enough. And he would be lying if he said he wasn’t at least slightly interested to see how far they could take this. 

  Working with Gundham he begins to clear off the shelf that Ibuki has deemed to be the perfect staring place. It doesn’t take long to carefully finish setting up the tiles on the shelf but the ones on the floor are a different story.

  “Noooo! You gotta watch where you’re going!” Ibuki gasps, playfully shoving Nekomaru away as he yet again accidentally steps a little too far backwards, knocking over the tiles Ibuki and Sonia had been painstakingly setting up. You would think after the first three times he would have learnt his lesson but apparently that’s not the case.

  “Sorry…” He lowers his head and bites his lip but that isn’t going to help reset all the tiles. 

  “It’s fine.” Sonia does her best to keep up a positive mindset but there’s only so far that can go. 

  “No it’s not! We have to restart again!” Ibuki grumbles, pouting the entire time, “You’re gonna help us this time otherwise we’re never going to finish.”

  While Ibuki, Nekomaru and Sonia are fumbling over each other trying to gently set up the tiles for a fourth time, him and Gundham are happily working away at the other side of the room. Thankfully their tiles have been unconnected from all the others since Nekomaru was working on the section connecting the two. Its the only thing that has saved their hard work from Nekomaru’s clumsy movements.

  Gundham buries his face in his scarf as he works, hiding the way he bites his lips as he focuses. His hands are almost as steady as Hajime’s. Each of his tiles perfectly separated from the next. 

  “You’re doing really well at that.” He hums quietly to Gundham. Offering him a warm smile.

  “Of course. Steady hands are needed for the preparation of spells so it is a necessary skill.” Gundham speaks with his usual bravado but he isn’t quite buried deep enough into his scarf to fully hide the way his cheeks flare with colour. 

  “That makes sense.” He hums thoughtfully. Assuming he’s referring to the way he handles his animals it does make sense he would need to have a steady hand. Probably more so than almost everyone else here. 

  “It seems even I, the supreme overlord of ice, is inferior to you though.”

  “Yeah well not much we can do about that.” He clears his throat artfully, “Where shall we take this then?”

  Behind him he can still hear Sonia, Nekomaru and Ibuki arguing about how to set up their tiles. If they’re all occupied then that means its down to him and Gundham to choose where to take the path now. Sure, they could defer to Ibuki and get her to make her wiggly path once again, but where’s the fun in that? If they’ve been able to keep their tiles standing then they’ve earned the right to choose how it looks. 

  “Hmmmm…” Gundham ponders for a moment, rocking back on his heels until he’s crouched on the ground. Pulling down his scarf a little so he can dramatically rub his chin, “I know!” 

  Storming across the room, he find a big open space and stands proudly above it. Hands resting on his hips smugly. Hajime does his best to contain his grin as he follows the man over, waiting for his declaration. 

  With dramatic flourish he waves a hand over the large spot, “We should make a large casting circle!” He says it like its the most normal thing in the world. At this point Hajime shouldn’t really be surprised about that.

  “I see. So do you mean a five point star in a circle?” He mumbles, thinking back to the magic circle he had seen Gundham making in the past. 

  “Yes, if that’s what makes sense to a mortal like yourself.”

  Hmmm…how hard can that be to make? Between the two of them they should be capable of this…right? One of his talents needs to be able to make this easier.

  So with overflowing confidence he accepts Gundham’s idea and they get down to work. Completely ignoring the bickering of everyone else in the room. The only things that exist in their world are each other and their tiles.

  “No! This wont do! That line is not straight enough! The magic cannot work with such poor craftsmanship.” Gundham huffs, waving a disapproving hand at all his hard work. 

  He might not be able to get a full birds eye view but he thinks it was looking pretty good. There’s no way it can be that skewed! He quickly looks between his own lines and Gundham’s, trying to identify the differences but they both look almost perfectly straight. No matter how long he looks, he can’t see what Gundham could possibly be referring to. 

  “Show me how it’s done then.” He folds his arms, stepping back to let Gundham take over. 

  “Hmph! Step aside.” Gundham tires to brush him aside with the swift movement of his arm. Once he has deemed that Hajime is far enough away, he crouches down over the tiles and gently taps a random assortment of the tiles until they have moved a hairs width to the side, “See. Like this.” He sighs deeply and gestures at the new set up as if it’s completely unrecognisable. If you asked him he would say he almost thinks it looks slightly more out of place now but he knows when to keep his mouth shut.  

  “I’ll do my best.”

  Doing his best to stick to all of Gundham’s requirements, he goes back to working. Gundham practically hovering over his shoulder the entire time. Even though he’s still working on his own lines, he never misses a chance to look up and peer over. Hajime isn’t as bothered by it as he thought he would be though. If anything it’s almost funny how determined he is to have everything perfect. He would never let Gundham know but it’s almost endearing seeing this level of child-like passion wafting off of him.

  “We’ve -” Ibuki begins shouting but she almost instantly stops with a loud gasp, “Woah! What did you guys do?!”

  Thankfully he just about manages to keep himself from flinching back at the sudden loud noise. Keeping the tiles still perfectly in place and intact. 

  Peering over his shoulder he notices the rest of the domino rally has been set up. Sonia, Nekomaru and Ibuki now hovering behind them, thankfully standing well clear of their painstakingly set up star. 

  “It looks beautiful!” Sonia gasps, bending down as far as she dares to examine the neatly set up tiles closer. With every centimeter than she moves, he can feel Gundham stiffening more and more. Tensing loud enough that they can all hear his teeth grinding uncomfortably. 

  “You people were taking far too long, wasting my precious time with your ceaseless bickering. So me and Hajime created a magic circle to dispel your work.” Gundham huffs. As he does so he moves towards the others, flapping his hands to get them all to back away from their handiwork. Hajime almost breathes a sigh of relief at the sight.

  “It’s taking a while but I think it has come out well so far. We just need to finish the circle that will go around it.” He tries to draw out the circle that they’ve just begun working on with a finger. Giving their audience the best explanation he can. 

  Ibuki gasps, slapping her hands onto her cheeks, “You’re both like domino masters.”

  “Keep your distance! We wouldn’t want to have to cast your soul into fiery damnation as a result of your clumsiness setting off the magic circle before the time is right.” 

  Not wanting to take any chances, Gundham herds them far away from the creation and onto the couches where no one can do any damage. All three of them take seats there without any complaints. Nekomaru even gives them both a little salute as he grins, “I accept your terms!” 

  From there they simply watch as Gundham and Hajime work in perfect tandem with each other. Well practiced movements allowing them to effortlessly breeze around their art piece. With eyes glued onto the backs of their heads, they do their best to work fast. Sensing the building anticipation brewing behind them - not to mention their own anticipation. 

  As they get closer and closer to the end, he can feel his own heart rate speeding up. He knows its just a silly little activity but even that knowledge isn’t enough to stop the grin which has risen to his lips. After all this hard work he is just ready to see the fruits of their labour.

  It feels surreal when they do finally step back to look upon their finished product. Hours of work sat in front of them in a strange pattern on the floor. With a gentle hand he wipes a small bead of sweat away from his head as he stands up straight. 

  “Done.” He sighs, grinning from ear to ear. Even Gundham can’t hide his smile completely behind his scarf. 

  “Come on then, let us stand upon the couch to watch.” Sonia beckons them over with the crook of her finger as she drags Ibuki and Nekomaru up until they’re stood on the cushions.

  Doing their best to avoid stepping on a single tile, him and Gundham begin to navigate the delicate maze they have accidentally made. Spinning around wildly in their desperate attempts. In the end they have to cling to the wall, walking on their tiptoes then entire time. Only when they reached the couch and successfully clambered onto it do they finally release the breaths they didn’t realise they were holding. 

  Sonia instinctively grabs Gundham’s hand as he gets close, pulling him up in one swift motion. Poor Gundham is left reeling, clinging onto Sonia and the back of the couch to stop himself from toppling over. 

  As soon as they’re both stood up and somewhat stable, he looks around at them all with hands on his hips, “Who’s going to start off the chain?” 

  Silence. They all stare around at each other waiting for someone to speak up.

  He had thought they would all be clammering over each other for the chance but instead they’re all watching each other closely. Waiting for someone, anyone, to jump in. If he had known this was going to be how it went he would have offered himself.

  But before he needs to, Ibuki raises her hands as if they’re all still in school. Only answering when Hajime nods her way. Giving her permission, “Nekomaru is good at knocking stuff over! Lets let him do it!”

  “What an honour. In that case, let me.” Nekomaru puffs out his chest. A giddy smile lining his lips. 

  Given the distance between him and the shelf on the other side of the couch, they all have to squish against the back of the couch to give him space to pass by. Forming a little road that he can use. But even then it isn’t quite enough. Hajime finds himself holding his breath once again as Nekomaru wobbles slightly as he squeezes past them. Thankfully Gundham is aware enough to quickly grab onto Nekomaru’s arm, holding him upright before he can fall right on top of the tiles that litter the floor. 

  Only when he reaches the shelf can they breath easy. But even then he can see Ibuki and Sonia gripping each others hands. Sonia’s lip caught between her teeth as she winces at every movement.

  It’s a relief when Nekomaru finally taps the first tile. Frantically flying back so he can fully watch each and every tile fall. 

  They all watch, transfixed, as the tiles fall over one by one. The pattern they had designed slowly coming into form as the fallen tiles make a thick line behind them. The entire time they have a backing track of Ibuki squealing. It takes everything he has to avoid slamming his hands straight over his ears. 

  As soon as the last tile falls and the last piece of their ‘magic circle’ is complete, Ibuki begins jumping up and down. Half dragging Sonia along as a result of their joined hands, “Eeeeee! It worked.”

  “Wonderful! Such beauty and simplicity. I should weave this into all my spell making.” Gundham smirks, tossing his scarf over his shoulder with a casual flick of his wrist. 

  Even if he wanted to be a party pooper, he can’t right now, “Ibuki was right, that was more fun than the normal way of playing with them.” It’s not like it was the most revolutionary thing in the world - quite the opposite actually - but there’s no doubt that it was more fun than the traditional way. Was it worth all the work? Looking around at the cheering faces of his friends around him, he doesn’t think he can say anything but yes.  

  “It was like magic!” Sonia gasps, slowly prying her hand free from Ibuki as she surveys the room, “However now we’ll have to clean them up…”

  And just like that the magic is dead. They’re faced with the truth that they need to now deal with all the mess. Hundred of dominoes laying everywhere. Logically he knows it won’t take nearly as long as the set up but that doesn’t make him feel better in the slightest. 

  “Ughhhh, that ruins the moment…” Nekomaru groans, hopping down off the couch sadly. The side of his foot brushing a few of the dominoes to the side. 

  “My apologies…” 

  There’s no point in Sonia apologising though. As much as they might not have wanted to think about it, she isn’t exactly wrong. Picking themselves up by their bootstraps, they shove aside their disappointment and spread out around the room. Slowly gathering up the rogue pieces. 

  While him, Sonia, Nekomaru and Gundham go for the tried and true method of picking up each one and neatly slotting them into the boxes, Ibuki has a little bit of a different approach. Sweeping up swathes of tiles in her arms and dumping them haphazardly into the boxes. Mess overflowing from each of the boxes, not that she appears to have noticed in the slightest. 

  But regardless of the approaches, they eventually manage to get all of the dominoes back. Some slightly less neatly than others. As long as its in he couldn’t care less though.

  Dusting off his hands, he looks around the room sighing, “We should probably get going now then.”

  Ibuki’s hands drop to her side instantly. Her mouth falling open, “Awww, but I wanted to make another cool one. This time we could make one shaped like a guitar.”

  “Ibuki -”

  “You don’t like guitars? What about drums then?” She perks up hopefully even though there’s no doubt in his mind that she knows exactly what he means. 

  “That’s not what I mean. I was just meaning we said we’d explore right. We should probably try and look at the other floors before the end of today. Especially if we still need to be back in time to eat with everyone else.” As fun as it is sitting here making fun little patterns, he gets the feeling they probably should try to do something productive. God knows how many hours they’ve already wasted here setting up their first little domino rally. 

  Much to his relief, it isn’t just him feeling this way, “Hajime has a point. Playing with dominoes might not be the most productive use of our time.” Sonia mumbles, looking down at the dominoes wistfully.

  “Ughhhhh, fineee. You’re right…”

  They’re acting like they’re never going to be able to use them again. As if they aren’t just beneath their own rooms in the very same building. Count on these guys to be dramatic. 

  “Don’t fret. We will not abandon these small trinkets. We can bring them with us and put them to use for our schemes when we go back to our home base.” Gundham snatches the boxes from everyone’s hands and stacks them up in his arms. Holding them like a precious prize. Cradling them protectively. 

  “That sounds like a great plan.” Nekomaru claps Gundham’s back, almost sending the other man flying but it’s enough to make Ibuki smile so that’s all that matters.

  With everyone on board, he gives the room one last look over and beckons everyone forwards, “Come on then.”

  Together they stumble out of the room and begin heading upstairs. Heads held high. They might not have found much on the floor but that doesn’t mean it was pointless. It’s times like this when he’s able to let himself pretend that nothing outside these walls exists and they can just be themselves once more.

  Much to his surprise, instead of walking with Sonia, Gundham shuffles to his side. Slinking along beside Hajime. He doesn’t say a word, keeping his face buried in his scarf the entire time, but that doesn’t stop Hajime from smiling softly. Their footsteps falling into sync with each other as they hurry up the stairs. The stairwell just about wide enough for him and Gundham to walk without bashing into each other. Not quite big enough for Nekomaru to stand side by side with Ibuki and Sonia though.

  Even when they get onto the third floor Gundham stays right at his side. Peering around to check out the hallway for any danger before proceeding onwards. Acting like their scout he stare into each and every room. Looking about like a diligent meerkat rather than the dangerous warlock he would like to present himself as. 

  However, the further they move down the hallway, the more they start to notice the soft sound of chatter emanating from down the hall. Cautiously he holds a hand out in front of Gundham. Trying to make a barrier.  It takes a little too long for him to notice as he slams into Hajime’s hand. Flinching back at the sudden contact but still drawing to a stop. Before Gundham can ask what’s going on, Hajime presses a finger to his lips. Shushing the other man as loudly as he dares to.  

  Even though they had been given more warning than Gundham, Sonia, and Ibuki still slam into their backs. Too busy with their own chatter to even notice the sudden stop. However much to his relief the finger to his lips is all the information they need before the zip their mouth’s shut. Standing tensely in the middle of the corridor. Poor Nekomaru hunched over awkwardly, eyes wide waiting to figure out what’s going on.

  Not saying a word, Hajime shuffles over to the side of the wall and beckons everyone along. They all crouch down, stumbling along almost on their knees through the halls. The entire time they’re hugging the wall.

  They’re still too far away to fully make out the voices. However given they’re in this place the only people here other than their own friends should be the doctors. After all, they do have to be staying somewhere. However he’s not sure they should be taking that risk. What if there is something else going on they’re not aware of? No, they should definitely just make sure they’re certain before they do anything they regret. 

  Bit by bit they get closer and closer to the source of the noise. Light filtering out from an open door into the hallway. There’s no doubt that that’s where the noise is coming from. Staying hunched over he takes a very short glance into the room.

  Sure enough the doctors are sat inside the room, gathered around the dining table. From the short glance it looks like it’s laid out exactly the same as their own common room. Just like how it was on the floor below where Makoto and the others slept. 

  “Woah! This is where the doctors are all sleep-” He clamps a hand over Ibuki’s mouth as fast as possible.

  “Quiet.” He quietly hisses into her ear, waiting for her silent nod before he finally removes his hand from her mouth. 

  Thankfully the doctors don’t seem to have heard them. Or if they did they’re simply doing their best to ignore the lot of them. Still trying to make the most of their day free from the hassle of having to deal with the lot of them.

  Not wanting to make a sound, he simply beckons them forward with a finger when he sees the coast is clear. All five of them loudly scurrying down the hall in front of the door at once. The sound of their clothes rustling far too loud for any kind of stealth mission. He finds himself wincing painfully with every movement but it’s too late now. They’ve committed.

  It’s a relief when they’ve finally all passed the doorway. However he doesn’t dare stand up or say a word even one they’re passed. Instead he keeps leading them forwards until they find an empty room, slipping inside. Nekomaru quietly closes the door behind them, letting them all take in a deep breath.

  “That was close…” Sonia sighs, hunching over with her hands pressed onto her legs, “I thought they were definitely going to see us…”

  “I’m pretty sure they heard us still…unless they’re all deaf.” He mutters, still wincing to himself, “I doubt they’re going to talk to us though. If they wanted to talk to us they probably would have called us out there and then.”

  “That’s probably good then…right?” Ibuki asks, giving them all a hopeful smile.

  “Yeah, I think so.” It’s not like they even needed to hide really in the first place. According to Makoto they’re allowed wherever so that should include up here. Well if they’re allowed outside onto the coastline then there’s no way this would be where they draw the line.

  He’s just relieved they didn’t actually need to talk to the doctors. If they’re willing to stay here and help them then they probably aren’t bad people but that doesn’t mean he likes them. It’s not like they’ve been the most welcoming people since arriving here. 

  “Nevertheless they should be no obstacle for the rest of our investigation. If they know what is good for them then they will remain in their abode where it is safe and secure.”

  “Yeah…hopefully.” He sighs, his shoulders slumping slightly, “Come on then. Let’s look around.”

  Still moving as stealthily as they can, they all crouch over and begin to patrol the halls. Making themselves as small as possible as if that’s going to make any difference. Leading the way, he guides them through the halls, sticking their heads into each of the rooms as they pass. 

  The longer they go on, the harder and harder it is to remain optimistic about finding anything useful though. That’s why he’s almost taken aback when they accidentally stumble into a room stocked full of cardboard boxes. Shelves upon shelves upon shelves line the walls and on them are a seemingly unending supply of boxes. It’s like stumbling upon an oasis amongst the hot desert sand. 

  “What are they sealing away here…?” Gundham grumbles as he squeezes in past Hajime. Removing his head from his scarf long enough to gawk at the towers surrounding them.

  “Looks like supplies if you ask me.” Nekomaru hums, scratching at his nose nonchalantly. 

  It’s hard to make out anything about the boxes from here. Each one is sealed up tightly and there are no labels written on any of them. Just plain brown boxes as far as the eye can see. They could all just be empty for all they know. 

  “What would they need supplies for?” Sonia examines the room wide eyed. Drinking in the sights for as long as she dares. 

  However her trance is broken by a short sharp jolt from Ibuki, “They were providing us with food. Ibuki thinks this is where they must be hiding it!”

  “You might be right…” Hajime mutters, moving in closer to the boxes. Curiosity piqued he tries to peek into the nearest one, tearing away the brown tape sealing it off.

  Ibuki does make a good point. If they were staying here they must have been keeping a good supply of food. He highly doubts they were bringing in new shipments every other week. 

  However when he pulls the flaps back he’s greeted by a sight he hadn’t been expecting. 

  “School uniforms?” He lifts one up out of the box. Holding it up as if to prove he’s not lost his mind to the others. 

  It doesn’t even take him a second to recognise the logo. Hope’s Peak etched onto the soft brown fabric. The sight is enough to send a shiver down his spine. 

  Ibuki fakes a retching sound as she doubles over, “I’m not wearing that! All my pretty clothes are burnt and only this is left.” 

  But ignoring Ibuki, Sonia rushes over to his side. Grabbing a blazer for herself as if to confirm they’re real and not a figment of her imagination. Finger gently brushing over the fabric, “Why do they have these?” 

  “Well the future foundation is made up of old Hope’s Peak staff and students. I suppose these are a relic of that time.” He hums as he unceremoniously drops it back into the box. 

  Regardless of why they’re here, Ibuki was right about one thing. They’re not going to be wearing these. They might actually be worse than the plain white t-shirts and black joggers. If such a thing is even possible. 

  “This feels like an ominous omen.” Gundham sneers. 

  “It’s just a uniform.” Nekomaru sighs from deep inside his soul. Grumbling he walks over to Sonia and Hajime and pulls the blazer from Sonia’s hands. Sealing the box back up immediately, “Lets see if they have anything more worthwhile.”

  None of them have any argument against that. How could they? 

  Spreading out once more, they move around the room, tearing open boxes left and right. He hates to think about what the next person to come in here is going to think. The once neatly stacked boxes are now all ripped open. Some of the content sprayed across the floor and tape scattered everywhere. It looks like a bomb has gone off but not one of them makes an effort to clean up. They’re all too swept up in their bounties.

  The first few boxes at the front of the room were filled with uniforms. But as they moved further in they started to find dried and canned food - mostly pasta and tinned tomatoes though which dampens the excitement slightly. Then they begin finding boxes upon boxes of office supplies. Paper, ink, pens and even guillotines all stacked away neatly. Then they come across the boxes of mechanical parts. Pieces of metal, spare buttons, motherboards. Everything you could need to build something. Even screws and nuts can be found amongst the boxes. Three guesses what those were for… 

  The most exciting thing though was -

  “Look!” Sonia shouts at the top of her lungs. Any attempt at hiding their presence from the doctors now completely gone, “I have found something most exciting!” 

  That’s all they need to hear to come running. All of them gathering around as Sonia begins pulling boxes upon boxes off the racks. Tension slowly building with each one that comes off the shelves. 

  “What is it?! Show us you infernal woman!” Gundham growls as she carries the fifth one off the shelf. Still not showing them a single thing. 

  “Fine fine…” She pouts a little but still yanks open the box. Letting them all push and shove each other to try and get the slightest look in. 

  “Wait…” He mumbles, staring down.

  “Clothes!!” Ibuki’s squeal is almost deafening but they all look down. Completely transfixed. 

  When they had first floated the idea he assumed it would be a pipe dream but sure enough the boxes are stuffed full of clothes. Each one a different colour size and style. He’s not too sure he wants to know where they all came from but he’s never been more grateful. 

  Like a pack of wild dogs they descend upon the box. Pulling. Tearing. Desperately yanking at any fabric they can. Sonia merely watches with an amused grin as they hold each piece up to examine it. 

  It’s far from high fashion. Jeans, shirts, a few colourful t-shirts. There are even a few dresses and jumpsuits which at least provide a little diversity. But even if it’s nothing special it’s a far cry from what they currently have. At this point their standards are on the floor. 

  “We need to bring these to everyone else.” Nekomaru announces with his hands on his hips. Surveying their finds with an appreciative gaze. 

  Sweeping everything up, they stuff their finds back into the boxes. Stuffing them full until the clothes are almost busting out of the boxes. Working together they do their best to carry the boxes. Splitting the work out between them. Even if they find nothing else of use from the rest of the searching their mood refuses to be dampened. They’ve found something useful so that will have to do. 

Chapter Text

30/05 - 05:22

  Leaning back into the couch, he smiles out at the chaos surrounding him. He had woken up at the crack of dawn but somehow he still wasn’t the first one up. Ibuki and Gundham were already out in the middle of the communal area. Surrounded by a sea of dominoes. Apparently yesterday hadn’t been enough. 

  They’re both already changed out of their pajama’s and into their new clothes even at this time of day. Not that he can say anything as he sits there in a black and white band t-shirt (for a band he doesn’t even recognise) and jeans. The logo of the t-shirt peeling away so only a few loose scraps remain here and there. 

  However while his outfit is casual, Ibuki and Gundham are less so. They hadn’t been able to find anything Ibuki thought ‘expressed her soul’ but she did manage to grab some baggy ripped jeans that she’s now wearing on top of some neon yellow fish net tights. She also snagged a neon tie dye shirt which is somehow exactly her vibe and not at all her vibe at exactly the same time. With the dyed sections of her hair fading the shirt just about makes up for the lost of colours. 

  Even Gundham hadn’t been able to fully avoid colour. Although he had managed to wrangle the blackest skinny jeans Hajime has ever seen, the t-shirt was quite another story. The closest to a black t-shirt that he could get his hands on was a baggy black t-shirt with a neon pink cat print across the front. Yet Gundham didn’t seem that bothered. Even sweeping his scarf over his shoulder to fully display the image for all to see. That combined with how his hair flops down in front of his face makes him almost look like an entirely different person now. Somehow…softer. Maybe the fact he’s stood here making a dominoes rally is playing a part in that.  

  As the two of them work, he lets himself sink into the world of the book he’s clutching in his hand. He doesn’t even know why he picked it. It was simply the first book his hand stumbled upon on the shelf in his dazed state. It’s some kind of cheesy romance book. The sort of book he shouldn’t be enjoying as much as he is. Not that he would ever admit it. 

  Considering he had woken up drenched in sweat yet again this morning it’s a refreshingly peaceful morning. He can almost pretend the nightmares never happened. 

  For a few hours it’s just the three of them but as the hours pass and day breaks more and more people begin inching out of their cocoons. The first one being Kazuichi as he stumbles out in his joggers and pajama shirt. Hair still messy and sleep still sitting in the corners of his eyes. 

  “I can’t believe you’re still playing with dominoes.” Kazuichi sighs, rubbing his face as he wanders in.

  “We do not concern ourselves with the opinions of people like you.” Gundham sneers, burying his face in his scarf once more.

  Hajime tucks his legs up onto the couch as Ibuki barrels past, setting tiles down as she goes past. He’s almost certain that there’s no way they’re going to be close enough to knock into each other but he doesn’t bother saying a thing. She’ll figure it out sooner or later… Hopefully sooner rather than later.  

  “Move along.” Kazuichi gently nudges him as he vaults over the side of the couch to snuggle in at Hajime’s side. 

  Without needing to taker a second to think, he shuffles over to make room, letting Kazuichi squeeze in at his side. For a moment the couch shakes from the sudden movement but thankfully it settles without knocking any of the tiles aside. 

  Together they lean back and watch Gundham and Ibuki get to work. No matter how long he stares, he has yet to figure out what the pattern is meant to be. And if he can’t figure it out, he highly doubts Gundham or Ibuki have any clue what they’re doing either. 

  “How long have they been doing this?” Kazuichi mutters to Hajime. Keeping his voice as low as possible. 

  “At least two hours since I’ve been here.”

  “And this is as far as they’ve gotten?” Kazuichi raises an eyebrow.

  He winces at the words almost instantly, “There have been a few…restarts.”

  He can’t help but feel bad for Gundham. While he might have some of the steadiest hands Hajime has ever seen, the same can’t be said for his partner. Quite the opposite in fact. She might have chastised Nekomaru non-stop yesterday but she’s proven herself to be just as bad. If not worse. 

  “How long do you think they’ll be doing this?”

  “Honestly,” He sighs and shakes his head slowly, “It could be all day.”

  It’s like they’re lost in their own world. Drifting about the room with glazed over eyes. It’s a miracle they haven’t knocked into each other yet really. If nothing else they can count that as a win. 

  “It’s going to be a long day then.”

  Long is definitely one word to describe it. Within minutes Kazuichi and Hajime are effectively stranded on the couch. All the floor around them being swallowed up into the mass of plastic tiles. He doubts even he could find a way off this couch without destroying all of their hard work. 

  Neither him nor Kazuichi mind all that much. They hunker down, settling in for the long haul. With his book to keep him occupied he barely even notices the time passing. The only things punctuating his little bubble being the click clack of tiles being set (and then knocking into each other seconds later) and the soft metallic sound of Kazuichi tinkering away at what seems to be an alarm clock.

  Considering the time of day it’s almost peaceful. At least when Gundham and Ibuki aren’t swearing to high heavens. However as time creeps by, more and more drowsy faces filter in. Some people rubbing their eyes. Others still in pajama’s with obvious bed hair.  Yet even then its’s an oddly domestic sight when he does take the time to peek out from over his book. 

  However trapped from over here he can do nothing as people descend upon the kitchen. Kazuma allowing Sonia to get far too involved in the preparation of breakfast. For once he can’t fault Teruteru and Akane as their faces pale at the smells wafting from the kitchen. Nevertheless there’s nothing he can do to help. He simply grits his teeth and tries to go back to focusing on his book. Hopefully it taste better than it smells. 

  Still unable to leave their spots, Kazuma and Nekomaru carefully lean over the great sea awkwardly to hand them their bowls of what he thinks is supposed to be porridge. Who knew you could make it even more unappealing than it already was? He has no idea why it’s a deep red colour but he figures its probably best if he doesn’t ask…

  Nekomaru doesn’t even let Ibuki or Gundham get away with skipping the meal. Even though they’re stuck in the middle of their own mess he glares them both down until they’ve finished every last scrap of the meal. It turns out Gundham still wasn’t as pale as he could be, by the end of the meal he might as well be as white as a sheet. 

  Nevertheless they all give the ‘chef’ their thanks. He has no idea of Sonia just has a different set of taste buds to the rest of them but she accepts the compliments without even thinking twice. 

  “Th-thanks….that was d-delicious.” Tears are welling up in Mikan’s eyes but she chokes out the words anyway.

  “It was certainly something.” Kazuichi leans in to whisper in Hajime’s ear. Unfortunately Sonia is just a little too close, “Ouch!” His hands fly up to cradle his head where she had hit him. 

  “Serves you right.” Sonia holds her nose up in the air. Staring with sharp eyes, looking down her nose at them both. The image of the ruthless queen he had once known overwriting the softer version of Sonia he has quickly grown accustomed to. 

  Leave it to Kazuichi to drag him into this mess…  

  Thankfully he still manages to avoid getting a smack from her. And even more importantly, he avoids needing to wash up for once. The perks of being stranded a few meters away from any water source. Instead Kazuma drags Nekomaru and Nagito over to the sink, making a little production line for cleaning as everyone else wipes down the tables. In a few minutes everything has been neatly cleaned up like a well oiled machine. It does make him wonder where this efficiency was when he was almost single handedly cleaning up the last few ‘parties’. 

  As soon as they’re all finished everyone slumps down on the chairs that surround the dining table. Even Kazuichi and Hajime do their best to turn around on the couch so they’re facing everyone else. Doing all they can to ignore Gundham and Ibuki as they continue working. Gundham still clutching his stomach the entire time. Hajime only hopes he makes sure to go the bathroom if he needs to make any unsolicited drop offs. 

  Slouching down on the table with her head on her arms, Hiyoko begins to mumble, “Okay, so how long are they going to be doing that?” She doesn’t even bother lifting her head to speak so the words come out muffled but at least he can get the general idea of what she’s supposed to be saying. 

  “Until they finish I suppose.” Hajime sighs, resting his head on the back of the couch. 

  If you had asked him a few hours ago he would have said an hour or two but given the amount of times they’ve already needed to restart he’s not so sure. It could be anywhere between another hour and infinity. The only thing he knows is that the steely look on Gundham’s face refuses to leave before they’ve finished the damn thing. 

  “Ha ha ha. You’re so funny.” Hiyoko rolls her eyes. Deigning to lift her head just for that single act before dropping her head back down onto her arms. 

  “I th-think it l-looks great.” Mikan gives a weak smile but Hiyoko just tuts. Gritting her teeth as she actively turns her head even further away from Mikan until she’s bent at an awkward angle.

  They’re all a little too aware of the movement. Tension thick and heavy in the air. Flashes of the last few interactions flick through their minds but thankfully Hiyoko just buries her face deeper into the crook of her arm. Mahiru’s gentle hand rubbing her back soothingly. 

  Clearing their throat, Kazuma shuffles awkwardly in their seat, “Maybe we should do something all together while we wait for Ibuki and Gundham to finish.”

  “Somethin’? Like what?” Akane raises her eyebrows. Leaning back in her chair until the front legs lift off the ground. Letting her swing precariously. 

  “We did see a few different games down stairs. We could play a game on the table until we can use the rest of the room.” Nekomaru jumps in as if the thought had already been on the tip of his tongue before Kazuma had even brought it up. 

  Looking at Ibuki and Gundham working on the dominoes does make it hard not to think about all the other games. They’d left the rest of them downstairs, only choosing to bring the dominoes with them. And judging by the incredulous looks from everyone around them, he’s not the only one who thinks it was crazy to only bring the dominoes. 

  “Like a board game?” Mahiru cocks her head to one side. Her hand that’s still resting on Hiyoko stopping momentarily. 

  That short stop is all that’s needed for Hiyoko to shoot up in her chair. Mahiru’s hand being knocked down until it’s completely dislodged from Hiyoko’s back. She’s still grinding her teeth but she can still just about hiss out, “Boringggg. We’re going back to our rooms. Come on Mahiru.” 

  Not waiting for Mahiru’s response she stands up in one smooth movement. Gripping Mahiru’s sleeve, she drags the other girl behind her. Seemingly all the uncertainty about their friendship from the other day completely gone now. She doesn’t even look back at everyone else as she storms off like she’s still a toddler. Mahiru is merely dragged along for the ride. 

  “Okay.” Mahiru gives them the tiniest wave as she is dragged away. Succumbing to her inevitable fate. 

  He hadn’t really expected them to stick around for a game session - it’s a miracle they even got her to come down with them and participate in the burning after all. No, they should just take what they can get at this point. Besides, looking around at the sheer number of people they have, it might be a few too many for most games anyway. Even if they do remove Ibuki and Gundham as well as Kazuichi and himself who won’t be able to escape to play (karma he supposes for not needing to cook or clean up) there still might be too many. 

  He’s so caught up in his own thoughts he almost doesn’t notice Nagito slipping off down the corridor until Fuyuhiko lazily calls out after him, “Nagito? Where are you going?” Fuyuhiko drawls, eyes not even looking Nagito’s way as he slumps down on the table. 

  Nagito grinds to a halt, shooting them an awkward smile over his shoulder as he scratches at his neck innocently, “Ah sorry. You don’t want me playing a game. You remember how that goes.” 

  Is he even trying to hide the way he’s lying or has he just lost all his lying skills all of a sudden? At this point he’s not sure which one would be less realistic. 

  “We do not mind playing with you. It will be most fun!” Sonia gives it her peppiest smile but it’s nowhere near enough. Nagito just waves her off with easy. Not even considering it for a moment. 

  “It’s okay. I wanted to finish my book anyway.” The excuse falls off his lips with ease. 

  A shot of uncertainty aches through his gut. This all feels wrong. Is it still related to what happened the other day? He has barely even seen Nagito since their late night chat a few days ago. He hasn’t sat next to - or anywhere near - Hajime since then, let alone looked his way. And now he’s running off again. He can’t help but worry. Maybe that’s his problem though. Maybe he just needs to give the other man some space to sort through his feelings.

  Sensing the tides as Nagito vanishes down the hallway, Teruteru tries to get up and make his break away. Slipping up out of his chair with a ‘casual’ stretch. He doesn’t even bother tucking his chair in as he starts to flee, “I should -” 

  He doesn’t even manage to make it five steps before Akane has latched onto him. Her bony fingers curling around his wrist, keeping him anchored down, “C’mere.”

  “Hey!”

  He does his best to fight back but even with Akane like this, he’s no match for her. She’s able to drag him back into his chair with a single arm. Barely even flexing her muscles. They might as well strap the poor guy down. It would be more honest at least. 

  “We’re sittin’ down.” Akane growls Teruteru’s way and he instantly relents. Sinking deeper into his chair and letting the tension drift off of his muscles. Succumbing at the slightest bit of resistance. 

  Ibuki freezes, standing up straight and abandoning her tiles. Her head spins from side to side, as she takes in the sight of everyone else gathering around. Everyone except the four of them. He can practically hear her thoughts screaming out across the room. Her hungry eyes drinking in the sight of the activity she’s being left out of. 

  As everyone else starts muttering about who’s going to grab the games, her bottom lip begins to wobble. Her over dramatic pout consuming her face, “Hey waittttt?! Are you leaving Ibuki and Gundham out of this?! What if we want to participate?!” She crosses her arms which only adds the the overall tantrum. 

  “We’re just playing until you guys finish and we can use the rest of the room.” Nekomaru begins to explain as if that’s going to make Ibuki feel any better.

  Looking around at the mess surrounding her, her pout only grows. It’s even more obvious than ever that they are nowhere near finishing. An endless amount of work left to do. 

  He sees it all happen before it actually transpires. A wicked grin lights up her features. She might as well be an open book. 

  “Ibuki -!” Gundham calls out, reaching towards her as if he’ll be able to avert the inevitable. It’s a lost cause though. 

  No one can stop her in time. With a sly wink she gently taps the nearest tile with her foot. Chaos descends at one. Poor Gundham is frozen in place. Watching everything he had built fall apart just like that. Hours of work tumbling down in front of his eyes. All he can do is stand there with his mouth agape. Nothing more than a statue. 

  “We finished!” She cheers, completely ignoring Gundham’s bulging veins, “See now we can play with everyone else!” Her grin looks so innocent. He hadn’t just seen her with his own eyes he might not even believe it. 

  Joyfully skipping, she darts over the mess that now litters the floor to grab a seat at the table. Oblivious to the wide eyes all staring at her around the table. 

  Sighing deeply, he walks over to Gundham’s side. Avoiding any further anguish by stepping between the tiles as much as possible. Rubbing a hand on the mans back he tries to gently coax him back to their plane of existence. 

  “One day…one day…” Gundham’s face turns a startling shade of red as he hisses through his teeth. Forcing out each and every word with a due level of spite. 

  Even so Hajime is able to pull him away from the tattered remains of his work, pulling him down into one of the chairs between himself and Kazuichi. Supporting him from either side - at least in spirit anyway.

  Everyone offers the grieving boy some consolatory nods and smiles but Gundham doesn’t appear to notice in the slightest. If he does then he certainly doesn’t acknowledge it at least. 

  The first one to recover is Nekomaru who pushes up from his chair and takes a commanding position at the head of the table. Hunching over with his body weight supported by his fist, “Well if Ibuki is free now she can help me carry the games up here.” 

  Even though the dominoes, which were the reason for all this in the first place, were gone the plan apparently wasn’t. Not that he’s going to complain. It might not be the most exciting thing in the world but it’s still something to do. Not to mention Alter Ego’s words that still ring heavy in his mind. 

  “Okie dokie!” Ibuki sings cheerfully, hopping right back up without a second thought. 

  And that’s that. No one lifts a finger to stop either of them. 

  “It’ll be fine. You can make another one.” Kazuichi hums as he rubs Gundham’s back. Making small circles in a rhythmic way. 

  “I wouldn’t expect you to understand.” Gundham hisses sourly. But even so he doesn’t shy away from Kazuichi’s touch. Instead sinking into it as he lays down on the table dramatically.

  “C’mon, games are gonna be way more fun than that rubbish.” Akane offers a crooked grin but all she gets in return is a sour glare. 

  After that no one else bothers saying a thing. Leaving Gundham to his misery.

  As they wait a few people get up to gather the carcasses of the dominoes. Stuffing them into the boxes slightly more ceremoniously than the rest of them had yesterday. 

  By the time Nekomaru and Ibuki get back everything is spick and span. Probably nicer than it had been before Ibuki and Gundham began working - not that Ibuki or Nekomaru even give the room a second look. They’re too busy shaking their bounty enthusiastically. Both of their arms are as full as they can be. Ibuki can’t even see where she’s going past the gigantic stack. Her head craning up until it’s almost vertical. Her chin pressed up against the sides of the boxes. 

  “We come bearing gifts.” She still skips about cheerily before dumping the stack on the table. The assortment splay across the table top, laying across each other at awkward angles. 

  “Wow, they really do have a lot…” Fuyuhiko whistles leaning back in his chair, “I know you said there were a lot to carry for one person but I wasn’t expecting this.”

  Peko tentatively reaches forward, looking over each of the boxes one by one. Deciphering what each of the games are supposed to be. Her brow furrowed and her nose wrinkled the entire time.

  “Which one shall we play?” He hums as his eyes roam over the boxes. His brain tries to jump ahead, doing it’s best to predict what one is going to be chosen. Taking in each of their faces and adding it to the bank of data.

  “Ooooh, what about Monopoly! That’s the cats knees!” Ibuki shakes the box as if it’s nothing more than an over sized maraca. All the pieces rattling around like crazy.

  “This seems like a bad idea…” Kazuichi mutters but he does nothing to stop them.

  How bad can a board game really be? 

  Famous last words apparently. 

  There are too many of them to all play the same game so Sonia quickly sorts them out into teams. Him and Kazuichi quickly claim a prime position in front of the board. Kazuichi darting in to grab them the dog piece before anyone else can react. 

  At his side are Sonia and Gundham. The pair of them claiming the thimble cauldron and setting it right down next to the dog. Akane practically shoves Nekomaru aside as she tries to claim the shoe for herself and Teruteru - he has yet to figure out why she thinks she’s going to have any competition over that one…

  Instead Nekomaru and Kazuma end up with the ship as Ibuki and Mikan grab the top hat. Kazuichi doesn’t find it as amusing as Hajime when they try to place the hat on top of their dog piece though. In the end only Fuyuhiko and Peko are left. The two slyly grabbing the car and setting it alongside all the others. 

  “There we go!” Ibuki rubs her hands together before darting in to grab the dice, “Ibuki needs all the luck she can get.”

  Unfortunately, it seems luck isn’t on her side. In fact, luck only seems to be swinging one way today.

  “Sorry, it’s a double six so we go first.” Kazuichi puffs out his chest. A snooty expression written across every inch of his face.

  “Ughhh I thought we would be fine because Nagito wasn’t here.” Nekomaru grumbles, head hanging low.

  “We forgot about Hajime’s cursed fate. His luck will be the demise of all…” Gundham’s hiss doesn’t make him feel any better.

  He wasn’t wrong though. It’s a bloodbath. Maybe he should be feeling bad but it’s hard to when victory feels this good. There will be no prisoners taken today - certainly not while Kazuichi is on his team at least. 

  “I have a ho-”

  “We.” Kazuichi sniffles, turning his head and crossing his arms.

  “We have a hotel there so that’s 4000.” He holds a hand out towards Mikan expectantly. 

  “Ughhhhh! You’re bleeding us dry!” Ibuki hisses through gritted teeth. Seething as she pulls at her hair with clenched fists. 

  “S-sorry.” Mikan weeps as she hands over the money. Tears streaming down her reddened face. 

  Another property mortgaged… At this rate they’re going to be bankrupt before they even get around the board another time. Normally he would be incredibly apologetic for making poor Mikan cry but after the frantic way she launches the dice into the air each time he can’t bring himself to. She’ll get over it…he hopes. 

  “It really is like playing with Nagito again…” Peko mumbles, leaning back further into her chair. Juggling the dice in one hand after sliding it off the table in front of Mikan. 

  “I guess it makes sense he would be a pain to play with in games like these.” He snorts slightly. 

  While he might be having good luck, he’s starting to think Mikan is just the ultimate bad luck. Whenever she’s the one rolling she lands on a tax square or someone else’s property. And not just the small ones - always the ones that hit where it hurts. He had no idea it was even possible for someone other than Nagito to be that unlucky. And each and every time she lands on one of them she squeals as loud as she can. Her hands shaking to no end. 

  “You wouldn’t believe.” Fuyuhiko sighs rubbing his forehead, “None of us were ever able to beat Nagito in any games…”

  “Eight…” Peko mumbles once the dice clack to a stop. Softly tapping their little car on each square. 

  Unlike Mikan they have been lucky enough to slip by unscathed most of the way. Nothing more than a little pocket change disappearing here and there. Sure enough even now they’ve managed to skip past Sonia and Gundham’s little road of houses to stop by the prison. Their little car staring through the bars at the small shoe which might as well have started renting a cell in the prison at this point. 

  “This ain’t fair.” Akane scowls, “You dudes must be cheating!” She throws her head back with a groan. Craning her neck so far back over the back of the chair that she’s staring at the wall behind her. 

  “We might as well give up…” Teruteru sighs. 

  Peko does her best to slide the dice over to him but he just pushes it right past him towards Akane. Jabbing her stomach with his elbow grouchily. She doubles over, clutching at her stomach but still manages to weakly throw the dice across the table. Almost throwing it straight into Gundham. Thankfully his reflexes are decent enough as he reacts quick enough to bat the dice aside without even batting an eyelid. 

  “Another three! These dice ‘re busted. I never lost this bad when I was bettin’ before…”

  “At least you can leave the prison next turn…” Sonia’s meager condolences do very little though. She might as well have just been a gnat flying around Akane’s head. 

  “I suppose it’s our turn. You can roll Kazuma.” Nekomaru gives his partner an encouraging nod. 

  While Kazuichi, Ibuki, Teruteru and Fuyuhiko had all been pushing the game onto their respective partners, Sonia and Gundham as well as Nekomaru and Kazuma had been the only people actually working as teams. Not that it really matters for Kazuma and Nekomaru. Either way their small selection of unfinished sets is nothing against the titans that are Sonia and Gundham, and himself and Kazuichi. They’re forced to fork over another thousand to Gundham and Sonia, the latter of which is already leafing through the money. Practically inhaling it as she counts each and every note in their little bank. 

  As usual, as soon as it’s their turn they weave right past each of the others properties. Stopping straight on a chance and sweeping up some ‘birthday’ money from everyone else. He has to pry the money out of Ibuki and Akane’s hands but Kazuichi is more than happy to sit to the side counting where everyone can see him. A smug grin plastered on his face. 

  When it eventually gets back to Mikan and Ibuki the poor girl is shaking more than he ever knew was possible. Her teeth almost chattering as the anxiety wells up inside her. He almost wonders why she’s still playing, yet she’s the one who swoops in to grab the dice. Not even bothering to ask Ibuki if she wants a turn. Although he gets the feeling she would refuse regardless. 

  Taking the dice in her hands she begins to shake like her life depends on it. He’s not sure if he should be informing her that shaking more will have absolutely no outcome on her dice roll. However, as soon as she’s about to drop the sufficiently dizzy dice she flinches back - seemingly at nothing at all. As if moving in slow motion, he watches the dice get launched into the air. Flying up and scattering onto the floor. Clattering loudly as they do so. 

  At once Mikan hunches up. Arms forming a cage around her head as she whimpers feebly, “Eeeeek! I lost it!”

  Once she manages to build up the courage to lift her head she furiously looks around all over the table for any sign of the dice. Not even considering looking on the floor. He breathes a deep sigh which reverberates through his entire body and ducks under the table and sweeps them up for her. It takes her a few seconds to even notice he’s pressing the dice into her hand

  “H-Here. M-Maybe you sh-should throw it.” Mikan trembles like a leaf in the wind. As she does so she tries her best to shove the dice into Ibuki’s hands but it’s useless. Ibuki simply holds her hands up flat leaving nothing for the dice to rest on. 

  “Nope.” Ibuki shakes her head firmly, “I have faith in you. You’re gonna lead us to victory!” 

  Hajime has significantly less faith. But still, with shaky hands, Mikan throws the dice once more. Thankfully onto the table this time (although the dice barrel straight into the shoe, knocking it out of the prison and into the middle of the board). 

  “Seven…” Ibuki announces the number like a sports correspondent. And for the short moment there is hope in Mikan’s eyes as they breeze past the rest of Hajime and Kazuichi’s hotels. The water works stop as she bites her bottom lip. Calculating the move in her head as she gently taps the top hat along. The moment is only fleeting though. 

  “I’m s-s-sorry…” Mikan bawls once more as she finally sets the shoe down. Directly onto a tax square…

  “Ha! You have succumbed to the whimsy of the feeble government that was supposed to defend your retched soul.” Gundham cackles a little too happily.

  Ibuki hisses woefully but is too busy rubbing comforting circles onto Mikan’s back, “I can’t believe we lost. This is so unfair…”

  “The rules are the rules. If you had just let us buy your property from you it might have gone differently.” Kazuma mumbles, doing his best not to smile and failing miserably. 

  “Yeah well Ibuki has a winning strategy and giving you the set would have ruined it.” Ibuki grumbles as if she hasn’t just gone completely bankrupt. Not even a penny to her name. 

  “I don’t think it was really that winning.” Fuyuhiko snorts, stretching his arms out behind him lazily. 

  “They did their best…” Peko mutters in what he thinks is supposed to be a comforting way but it only makes Ibuki wince harder and Mikan weep louder. 

  “Ahhhhh! We’ll get you back!” Ibuki glares up at the ceiling as if cursing the gods themselves. Hissing out each and every word, “I know! A music battle! Ibuki can’t waste her talents on board games, I let it all bubble up into my music!” She clicks her fingers as if she’s made some kind of incredible discovery. 

  “What, like guitar hero?” Kazuichi cocks one eyebrow and half sneers, still staring over their steadily growing stack of money. 

  He might be laughing but Ibuki certainly isn’t.

  “You and me, right now!” She points a finger directly at Kazuichi, the other hand diligently laying on her hip.

  He hadn’t even realised they had guitar hero. Or any video games for that matter. But the steely look on Ibuki’s face tells a different story. 

  “What, me?” Kazuichi looks around as if some mystical person is going to suddenly appear behind him.

  “Yes you, duh!”

  “I can’t beat you. Why don’t you challenge Hajime?!” Kazuichi doesn’t waste a second as he reaches over and grabs Hajime’s arm. Yanking him forwards without a second thought. Of course he would throw him directly under the bus…

  “No, I wanna challenge you. You, Gundham, and Fuyuhiko,” her finger shifts slightly to point at each person as she speaks, “you better not be big babies and back out.”

  She has to grip onto Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi’s wrists and drag them across the room to get either of them to go anywhere. She might as well be fully horizontal as she drags them along with all her might. Her face slowly turning a startling shade of red. Gundham on the other hand saunters over this his head held high. Barely even putting on a show of reluctance. 

  All of the rest of them squeeze on the one couch, giving the four players as much space as possible to play. Or maybe just saving their own heads from getting whacked. As he sits there getting squished from both sides by Nekomaru and Akane he should probably feel more annoyed but something inside of him can’t bring himself to. 

  The game of Monopoly sits forgotten on the table. Not even packed up and still completely unresolved. Nevertheless he lays back in the couch and watches happily. A smile ghosting his lips. 

Chapter Text

31/05 - 04:49

  It all goes wrong at once. A chain reaction jerking him into gear. Kind of like dominoes falling honestly. Poetic… 

  He’s jerked awake by a hand gripping his shoulder. Fingers digging in just a little too hard as they shake him as hard as humanly possible. For a split second he thinks it’s Kazuichi or maybe even Nekomaru. But then his eyes begin to focus and an unfamiliar figure comes into view. Well not completely unfamiliar to be honest. He recognises the man as one of the doctors he had seen milling around but its not one of the ones he had spoken to - not that he knows the name of any of them yet… 

  Normally he might brush them away, overwhelmed by hot feelings of annoyance. But not this time. Not when they’re staring at him with eyes as wide as saucers. Hand still gripping Hajime hard enough to bruise.

  “You need to get up right now.” The man hisses, looking around frantically like he expects someone to bust the door down at any second. 

  “What’s wrong?” In a split second he’s wide awake. If he didn’t know better he would think he had been up for hours. 

  It’s only at this moment as he shakes away all his bleariness that he remembers where he is. Instead of being tucked up in his bed, locked away in his room, as he has assumed he’s sat on the couch. Book still half open and laying haphazardly on the couch cushion.

  He doesn’t remember falling asleep. It’s all a blur in his mind now. Distantly he remembers waking up in the middle of the night again and slipping back here to avoid the darkness of his own room. But everything beyond that is just a blur. Sleep must have taken over. 

  “We’ve heard from the future foundation, they’ve arrested Makoto Naegi.”

  Those words are like a bat to his head. His heart skips a beat.

  It happened. They’ve made their move…

  It’s almost been a month since Makoto set off so he shouldn’t be surprised. There was only so long that even someone like him could last for. They should be thankful it’s even lasted this long. But he struggles to feel thankful at all. All he feels is the hot tingle which spreads through every limb and the ragged breaths that assault his lungs. 

  His mind is moving at a million miles a minute and yet not a single thought is coming to his brain. 

  Arrested.

  Arrested.

  Arrested.

  They’ll be next. 

  How long will it be before they make their move? One day? Less? More? 

  Mere seconds have passed and every creak already feels like the future foundation knocking at their door.

  Get it together! He slaps his face with both hands making the doctor jump back, brow furrowed. He knows he must look absolutely insane but right now he couldn’t care less. 

  “How do you know this?” He clears his throat and pulls himself together as best he can. This isn’t the time to be acting dramatic. If something is going on then he needs to be on top form. This might as well be life and death for them. 

  As if sensing the newfound resolve rippling off of him, the man straighten his posture and nods firmly. Eyes sharp and cold.

  With a steady voice he begins to explain, “The future foundation sent out a notice. Probably hoping it would reach us. They alerted us that Makoto had been arrested and we needed to hand you in as soon as possible.”

  Of course. He almost rolls his eyes right then and there. 

  “How do we even know they’re telling the truth? They might just be lying to put pressure on you guys.” He certainly wouldn't put it past them. Actually if anything it sounds like exactly something that they would do. 

  “We tried all of our contact points and there’s no way to speak with Makoto. He’s never left us without a response for more than five minutes when we’ve sent out a message.” He wishes the argument wasn’t that convincing… It does seem like too much of a coincidence for both to be happening at the same time. 

  “Can you let me reach out to him?” It might be a fools errand but he’d hate himself if he didn’t try. Besides, what if the doctors can’t be trusted. No, he needs to try this for himself. 

  With a solemn nod, the doctor backs off, giving Hajime some space to hop up off the couch. Stretching out his achy limbs he quietly follows behind the man. Each step feels like he’s walking the gallows. He counts each and every one. The higher the number grows, the deeper his stomach sinks. 

  He’s not surprised when the man leads him up the staircase and along to the floor they had seen them all gathered on just a day - or he supposes two now - ago. Going through all his memories he tries to piece together what on earth could be the communication device. The most interesting thing they found on this floor was the storage room and there weren’t any locked doors that they came across. 

  However it all clicks as they turn directly into the common room. The one place they hadn’t been able to check. Of course it would be there of all places. This time instead of being swarmed by people sat around a table, it’s deathly quiet. Too quiet. For the first time he finds himself wishing this place was crawling with doctors of all people. Even with their stupid lab coats on. 

  If this is a trap and he gets attacked by this guy then he’s never forgiving himself… He deserves it at this point for being this stupid.

  Walking silently, they travel down the corridor until they stop in front of a door, “Here.” The doctor holds open the door for him, waiting patiently for him to head in. 

  But instead of moving in, he simply stands in the doorway. Waiting for the other man to go in. Although he rolls his eyes, he still heads in first not forcing Hajime through the door. Only once he’s fully stood in the middle of the room does Hajime dare breach it. 

  The room is far from exciting. In fact it’s almost completely empty. The only thing in the entire room is a small desk directly in the center of the room. On top of the desk is a single relatively old looking computer. A swarm of wires stretching out from the back where they are plugged into an extension cord that’s pressed up against the wall. The entire thing is only made more ominous by the dull grey walls that press in from every side. 

  Now standing in the middle of the room, he realises he has no idea what they’re doing here. From the sheer lack of anything else he can tell they computer must be involved but that’s about it, “What do I do?”

  “You type in a message here,” he points to the computer as if that needed to be spelt out, “and it travels through an encrypted line to Naegi.”

  “What about the phone we used before?” He narrows his eyes a little too suspiciously. 

  “We can’t guarantee contact with that. Only this way is sure to get a response - it’s like sending out a distress signal.”

  He supposes that makes sense but he only wished it made him feel any better about all this. 

  “Hmmm…” He glides forward and takes a seat on the chair in front of the computer, his heart hammering against his rib cage. Sweaty hands hover over the keyboard. Looming over the keys but never bridging the gap to actually touch them. 

  Swallowing a lump in his throat he wipes his hands on his trousers to shake off any lingering sweat, “What’s your name?” He mumbles out the words, not even looking back at the man.

  Is he procrastinating…maybe…but it also feels right. After everything he should probably make at least make the slightest effort to get to know these people who are risking their lives for them. And if they do turn out to be tricking him then he knows exactly who he needs to get revenge on… 

  “Kaoru Suzuki.”

  “Suzuki…” He mumbles the name like a chant. Letting it weigh heavy on his lips, “Okay then.”

  Bracing himself he taps the keyboard. Almost immediately it lights up with an eerie green glow. A long line of messages pop up on the board, written in a flickering green light. 

  Older messages show a clear back and forth however the last few messages are all coming from this computer. Judging by the time stamps and the clock in the corner which reads 4:30 am it has been almost thirty minutes and not a single reply…

  Naegi come in

  Naegi we need a report now

  Are you okay?

  The future foundation have made a move

  Come in come in

  If you can see this reply as soon as possible or we will need to inform our visitors. 

  And then it all falls silent. Makoto never replied…

  He takes one final breath in and then places his hands on the keyvboard. He doesn’t even think about what he’s going to say before he types. He just lets his hands move on their own. Words flowing out on instinct more than anything else.

  Makoto, it’s me.

  Hajime.

  If you are still there we need to know.

  Should we begin moving out?

  After that he just sits there. Some part of him is vaguely aware of his foot tapping on the ground but he makes no effort to stop it. Each second feels like a million years. He’s not even sure what he’s waiting for. It’s not like Makoto is suddenly going to start talking because he’s messaging.

  One minute.

  Two minutes. 

  God, he’s hungry. He hadn’t noticed at first but now sat here he can feel it growl and shake uncontrollably. 

  Three minutes.

  Four minutes. 

  The words on the screen don’t even look like words anymore. They’re just green squiggles. The low quality of the computer making them flicker and dance before his very eyes. 

  Five minutes.

  Nothing. He’s not even sure why he’s disappointed. They had already established that this is what would happen yet somehow it still feels surprising. Unbelievable almost. 

  “Still nothing.” He says it out loud, even though they can both clearly see the exact same thing. 

  “They must have been telling the truth. They must have him.”

  He can’t rule out the obvious possibility that this was all a trick set up by the doctors to manipulate them. There’s absolutely nothing to confirm that this even goes to Makoto.

  Yet looking in Suzuki’s eyes now, not a single cell in his body believes that he could be lying. He would bet his life that this is the truth. In a way he supposes he is betting his life. He’s betting all of their lives.

  Finally leaning back from the keyboard he mumbles, “So…what do we do now…?”

~~~

31/05 - 05:16

  He smashes his fist against Akane’s door as hard as he can. Yelling the entire time, “Get up. In the communal area now!”

  After giving Akane’s door a good few knocks he moves onto the next and the next. Bringing his fist crashing down on each door one by one. Thundering down the hallway as he yells at the top of his lungs. The only proof he needs of his own volume is the way bleary eyed people are slowly wandering out of their rooms, pillows folded over their ears, before he’s even gotten near to their rooms.

  Each of them simply stand in their doorways gaping at him as if he’s lost his mind. So they could all hear him enough to come out of their rooms but they could do the most basic thing of actually listening to what he’s saying?

  “Communal area. Now.” He claps furiously as he speaks but thankfully that seems to kick them into gear.

  Still huddled in their duvets they slowly meander over to the other room. It takes everything he has not to slap them all upside the head. They don’t know what he knows though… He has to remind himself of that over and over. Along with the duvets, most of them have pillows pulled around their heads or tucked under their arms as if this is one big communal sleepover party they’re having. 

  “This better be good…” Hiyoko growls as she passes him. Unlike almost everyone else - everyone except Peko and Nagito who look completely awake - her head is held high instead of being drooped down to her chest. 

  One by one they all slide themselves into seats around the table. Bumping into each other unceremoniously left and right but they’re almost all too tired to even notice. All of them just fighting to keep enough clarity to actually find their chairs.  

  “What time even is it?” Ibuki groans, laying flat on the table until her nose bends awkwardly. 

  “It’s…” Nekomaru begins to groan as he looks around the room, “5AM?!” His jaw drops open almost at once. 

  “God…there better be a good reason for all this… I was sleeping just a few minutes ago…” Kazuichi rubs his face, pulling on his eyelids as if trying to pin them open.

  “Look I’m as tired as the rest of you.” They’re all acting like he wasn’t also unceremoniously awoken. All of them are in the same boat here, “I was also woken up this morning by one of the doctors who came with some news.”

  At once, without even letting him finish his explanation, they break out into unintelligible chatter. Wild theories popping up from every direction. The sheer volume of them all screeching drowns out the small pockets of intelligible words. 

  Beyond just the shouting, he can see people like Hiyoko and Sonia pressings hands to their chest. As if just pushing down hard enough will be enough to settle their frantic breaths.

  “Guys!” He shouts out but even then it’s almost impossible to hear him. They’re all too lost in their own world and fantasies to even notice, “SHUT UP!” He screams until his voice burns. It’s enough to shut them up though.

  They all sit there. Eyes wide. Mouths still open, as if they were frozen exactly in their spots as they were speaking.

  “You need to listen if we want to make any progress. You don’t even know what they said.” He feels more like a stern parent than anything else. He highly doubts that knowing what was said would change their reactions in the slightest but he would appreciate them at least trying. 

  It seems to get through to them though as they hang their heads and bite their lips. Each of them avoiding the gaze of their classmates.

  “Sorry…” Nekomaru mumbles dejectedly, bowing his head in shame.

  “Thank you…” He sighs, trying to find the best way to say what he needs to say without inciting mass panic yet again. Is there even a way at all? But with all these people sat here expectantly, on the edge of their seats waiting, he can’t just say nothing. And more importantly he shouldn’t.

  Sucking in a deep breath, he begins to speak as calmly as he can. Hoping his tone will rub off on them all, “The doctors told me that they had received a message from the Future Foundation. Apparently they have arrested Makoto Naegi and are keeping him in custody. Now they’re demanding that we’re handed over as soon as possible.”

  “What?!” Hiyoko slams her hands on the table, making almost everyone around her flinch back violently. Only Gundham and Nekomaru manage to keep stoic stone faces. 

  “He was too optimistic.” Fuyuhiko groans. 

  He wants to argue back against the boy but what can he even say? It might as well be what they’re all thinking. In reality he has done better than they expected but it was still naïve and optimistic to ever think he would be able to do this indefinitely. Game time is over now. The real thing has begun. 

  “I knew we shouldn’t have trusted a pansy like him.” Hiyoko scowls but even her blasé attitude isn’t enough to hide what they can all see spray painted across her like a neon sign. 

  With her jaw tensed harshly, Peko scowls at him. Dissecting each and every one of his words and body movements, “Apologies, but how do we even know this is true. I don’t know if I trust these ‘doctors’, they could just be lying,” 

  “Th-they were v-very helpful w-when we were i-in recovery.”

  “They did take care of us when they didn’t need to. If they were untrustworthy it’s strange they would have helped us at all.” 

  Mikan and Nagito’s defenses don’t seem to have everyone changing their tunes though. While it would be nice if they could believe in people that easily, the world isn’t really that simple. Not the world they’ve all grown up in anyway. 

  “Maybe something changed. Maybe they’re just threatening the doctors and forcing them to lie.” Mahiru doesn’t look up as she speaks. Her finger drawing wonky circles on the table with a ragged finger nail which has been chewed down all the way to the base. 

  “In which case we’re still screwed.” Teruteru growls as he kicks back in his chair. 

  After looking Suzuki in the eyes he doesn’t believe for a second that he’s lying but even if he was, that doesn’t change the most basic fact about all of this which is that they need to leave this place. It’s less a safe haven and more of a prison at this point. Time to jump ship as soon as possible. 

  He can’t do anything with everyone panicking like this though. Even if the overall outcome is the same, they need to all be able to to believe this message if they’re going to even entertain Hajime’s idea. And that’s a big ‘if’.

  “I’ve confirmed it myself.” He puts his foot down, “I contacted Makoto and it’s clear he is no longer accessible. Something has happened to him and I’m willing to bet it’s the Future Foundation. It’s not like we thought he would really be able to keep them off forever.” Is he being a little vague…maybe. But it’s not like they’re going to feel comforted knowing he saw some typing on a computer. Telling them he just believes based on vibes from seeing the guy isn’t exactly going to be more convincing either. 

  Thankfully even though the reasoning is as shaky as anything, no one voices any suspicion. They simply all nod and fall quiet. Relenting to his confident tone more than anything else. 

  Tapping the table, Akane finally mumbles, “What are we gonna do then?” 

  That’s the million dollar question. What are they going to do? What on earth can they do. It’s all nice and pretty to simply say they need to leave but that’s all it is. Nice pleasantries. Staying here it had gotten a little too easy to simply take each day as it came. Maybe they should have been preparing more for this moment throughout. It’s not like any of them believed this would last forever. The only thing they did determine in their scattered meetings was that there was nowhere safe for them to go. Just the sort of thing they want to be thinking about. 

  “Have they already charted their ships in our direction?” Gundham grumbles, brow furrowed as he ponders. 

  “I… I don’t know yet. I tried to see if we could detect them approaching but there’s nothing yet.” 

  After finishing with the computer, they had both checked every scanner they had available in the building. But no matter how long they looked nothing appeared on the radar. Maybe they still don’t know where they’re all hiding away. Or maybe they’re just giving them as much time as possible to comply with the demands. Either way they’re eventually going to find their way over here. Even if it isn’t happening right now. They should probably take the little victories they can get though. 

  “Yet…” Peko mutter ominously under her breath. Saying aloud what they’re all already thinking. 

  “Well I’m not waiting like a sitting duck!” Hiyoko seethes. As she does so she sends the chair scattering out from under her across the floor. Banging into everything it crosses. He’s not sure if that’s supposed to make her point clearer somehow but if that’s the intention then it has been unsuccessful. Her hands are fanned out on the table, pressing down as hard as humanly possible.  He could almost swear he hears the table creak under the pressure. Bowing slightly.

  “Me neither.” Teruteru doesn’t bother jumping up but his twisted scowls is a perfect mirror of Hiyoko’s.

  Sighing exasperatedly, Kazuma rubs their face slowly. Tediously. “None of us are asking you to.” 

  As far as Hajime is aware none of them want to be sitting ducks. But just knowing that isn’t going to be enough to make actual changes.

  “If I may ask, what is the plan then?” Sonia rests her head on her heads, commanding the entire room into a steady quiet with nothing more than a few firm words. 

  “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. This should be a democracy, I want to know what you want to do.” It sounds silly coming out of his mouth. Like a far flung dream. But it only seems fair. Even if it’s going to require hours of arguing it wouldn’t be fair to drag people from place to place without giving them the slightest choice in their fates. After everything they deserve that if nothing else.

  “This isn’t going to go well…” Fuyuhiko already senses the danger in the idea but he makes no more complaints. What else can they say?

  “I can’t die yet! We need to leave here A-S-A-P! Ibuki doesn’t want to be made into a fancy looking rug!”

  “A…rug?” Nekomaru frowns but quickly shakes his head. Completely dismissing anything that spills out of Ibuki’s mouth. 

  “B-But…wh-where w-will w-we g-g-go?” Mikan’s teeth chatter inside her head but she still manages to just about get those words out. 

  “As far away from here as possible?” He instantly wants to roll his eyes at Kazuichi’s simplistic solution but he manages to hold himself back. Rolling eyes isn’t going to solve anything. At least not right now. 

  “We will be on the run forever…” Sonia says the words aloud it’s like she’s speaking the words into being. All of them are unable to hide the implications of that.

  Before all this it’s not like they were living the good life. At least not most of them anyway. Not all of them had palaces to sleep in. But back then peace wasn’t exactly something they wanted. After their short stint here it’s hard to imagine going back to that life. Sleeping in dilapidated buildings and slinking around the country - not the world - like a phantom on the breeze. 

  “I don’t think we’ve had much choice in that for a while. We were remnants of despair after all. It makes sense they would hunt us.” Nagito mumbles heavily. There’s no smile to be seen this time. Nothing he is saying is wrong but it leaves a sour taste in his mouth. Given everything they did he doesn’t really have the right to be annoyed at what the future foundation does but that kind of logic doesn’t change the feelings seething in the corner of his mind.

  The future foundation can never be right. 

  Sighing, Fuyuhiko leans forward. Resting his head in his hands and covering up his mouth. For some reason the position makes him look more like a Yakuza than every before. The suspicious glint in his eyes is impossible to ignore.

  “Look, it’s not like they have been doing amazingly at hunting us down so far. It took them years to find us the first time and that’s only because we handed ourselves in. And we’ve been here basically for months now, right under their noses, and they still haven’t found us.”

  He…has a point. You’d think sheer dumb luck would prevail at some point and they would stumble upon their hiding place if nothing else. But days, weeks, months have passed and radio silence. It’s not like they’re some genius organisation or anything. 

  “So we should just take our chances on the road…?” Mahiru finally looks up. Fire hot behind her eyes as she makes eye contact with Fuyuhiko. Something burning between them with a searing unbearable heat. 

  Fuyuhiko can only endure it for a few seconds before he backs away. Legs swinging up onto the table to rest on the nicely polished surface. He holds himself back from wincing at the thought of this on the surface where they eat their food regularly. Not for much longer now…  

  “Where would we go though? I think a ship sailing away would draw more than a little attention…” He asks tentatively, feeling out the waters. Testing for who in the group is going to give some resistance. He already knows for a fact convincing Hiyoko is going to be nigh impossible but it would be good to get an idea of who else are going to be the ones to keep an eye on. 

  “Hajime does have a point…maybe…” Ibuki mumbles unconvincingly. As if she’s trying to figure out her own opinion more than anything else. 

  “What do you want us to do then?! Die?!” Hiyoko spits at him. Her face is more now red than anything else. The colour sticking out like a sore thumb against her bright yellow hair.

  “Of course not.” 

   “What then?”

  “I…” He ponders for a moment, second guessing himself, before he hard commits. Taking the leap before he has a chance to look down over the edge, “I think we should confront the future foundation.”

  “Confront?!” 

  “You lost your mind dude?”

  “This is insane!”

  “You’re going to get us all killed!” Hiyoko has only grown redder. The vein on her forehead bulging to a worrying degree. 

  “Eeeek! This is too risky even for Ibuki!”

  Holding his hands up defensively, he tries to reason with them. Trying to find some way of letting them see his side in all this. They can call him crazy all they want but he won’t listen to a word until they hear him out. 

  “Look, I know it sounds crazy but Makoto and the others helped. They’ve been hiding us and drawing away attention for days and weeks now. Maybe even months. From the second we stepped in here they’ve been taking risks for us and while most of you weren’t here, I expect those of us that made it through that fucking game to remember how they saved our arses in their too.”

  “So what, we should just lay down our lives for them…?” Peko crooks one eyebrow. Tightly folding her arms around her chest. Cutting herself off from the concept completely. 

  “That’s what it sounds like…” Mahiru juts her jaw forward as she grits his teeth. 

  He looks around for any support but there’s no one. Angry faces meet him in every direction. Seething veins popping out of skulls and people pointedly looking away from him in any possible direction. 

  Even Nagito is quietly muttering to himself, “Sacrificing for hope…” 

  “Ha! His mind has been fully consumed. The cruel hands of sentimentality weaving themselves through his broken chassis.” Gundham's scoff doesn’t make him feel any better. 

  He wants to roll his eyes. He wants to scream. He wants to shout. But instead he shoves it all down. Pushing it as deep down as it can go. Because he gets it. As much as he might not want to, he does. Asking them to risk all this for people they don’t even truly know is unfair.

  Okay, time for a different approach then, “Even if we don’t do it for them, it makes sense. If we deal with them head on now we can live the rest of our lives without needing to watch out for them over our shoulders. No more paranoia about being dragged away at any second.”

  He waits quietly for someone, anyone, to say something. No one does though. They all just avert their gaze, keeping to themselves. No matter how much he looks around the room, pleading, nothing changes. 

  Taking the job upon himself, he looks at each of them in turn. Staring as hard as he can until they fully turn away. Praying that at least one of them will have the words resonate with them. He’s not surprised in the least that Hiyoko, Mahiru, and Teruteru look away immediately. But Sonia on the other hand… If anyone here was going to back him up he thought it would be her. Instead her bottom lip is caught between her teeth as if she’s holding herself back with all her strength. Guilt oozing off of her. Rippling across the room. 

  Is there no one that’s going to back him up? 

  Nagito? 

  Kazuichi?

  Kazuma?

  Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

  He had known it wouldn’t be easy. He would have to be insane to think it would be. But he had counted on getting at least someone. This is just too depressing. His idea hasn’t even gotten off the ground before being shot down. 

  In a last ditch attempt he rounds on Nekomaru. Putting on his best puppy dog eyes. He only just manages to stop himself from physically reaching out to grab the taller man. The longer he stares, the more Nekomaru sucks in his cheek. Chewing on the inside unconsciously.

  And then, “And how are we supposed to do this?” 

  A wave of relief overwhelms him. It might only be one person but at this point he’ll take anything he can get. Gripping onto what little he has with an iron fist. 

  With a renewed energy he points over to Fuyuhiko, trying to bring as much energy as possible into his voice. Practically oozing optimism, “Like Fuyuhiko pointed out, we’re an entire class of ultimate students. Ultimates that were already able to out maneuver them for years. If anyone can deal with them, its us. I’ve spent more time than I would ever want to analysing them when I was preparing for the infiltration of this place. Their numbers are already highly reduced. If we can slip in and distract anyone that gets in our way then I can get into their headquarters and deal with their leaders. They will be child’s play to handle.”

  The more he speaks, the more people begin to look up. Some of their brows furrowed, others chewing on their lips, cheeks even nails. Anything they can get their hands on. A few of them even looking between each other as if trying to get a read on the feelings of the herd. Doing their best to comply to the majority. Slowly getting drawn in by his overwhelming confidence. 

  “This sounds awfully optimistic.” Kazuma bites on the corner of their nail. With their hand covering their mouth like that it’s somewhat muffled but there’s no mistaking their words. 

  “We have two ultimate lucky students. We’ve all seen what Nagito alone can do. Imagine what it would be like with two of us. We might as well be invincible.” He might be hyping things up but its clear someone needs to. Besides, they would be insane to doubt the luck after everything. 

  Once upon a time he had written it off as a boring talents - after all it simply makes everything fall into your lap without effort. But if that’s been his entire life so far he might as well make the most of it for once. If Nagito’s talent could be used in the plot that ended with Chiaki’s ‘death’ then imagine how much it could do in an infiltration mission. 

  Kazuichi doesn’t look quite as sold though, “But Nagito's luck always turns on us even if it works out for him.” 

  “That’s what I’m there for. The fail safe.” Realistically, he has no idea if that’s even how it works but he has to hope. Hope is about all they have left so he’s going to stretch the little he has as far as it can go. 

  Quiet murmuring breaks out across the room. People begin to turn to each other. Bridging the gap which had been slowly cracking between them. The small phrases he manages to pick up that are calling him ‘insane’ and ‘out of his mind’ aren’t exactly the most comforting but it’s something. It’s more than they had before so he’s not letting go of his hope quite yet. Not until they put their foot down on the whole idea.

  But the one who really makes the difference is Akane of all people. Scratching her ear nonchalantly with her pinky finger, she leans back in her chair. Breaking the precarious quiet that was still echoing in the room, she shouts out, “Look, I don’t get all this stuff you’re talkin’ about but Hajime has gotten us this far. I don’t got plans of my own but from what I’ve seen followin’ his plans seems like a pretty good idea.”

  His cheeks begin to glow slightly but he does his best to ignore it. He’s not even sure why the words hit him. It shouldn’t mean anything but his heart skips a beat anyway. Thundering in his chest at full speed. 

  “That’s what got us here in the first place…” Teruteru hisses under his breath as if just saying it out loud will curse them. Bringing misfortune back upon them. As if Junko will somehow overhear them from whatever pit she’s been banished to only to crawl back up and drag them down with her. 

  “But it’s also why we’re all back to our normal selves again.” Ibuki offers up tentatively. Stepping on egg shells as she studies the reactions of absolutely everyone around the table. Even Hajime himself. 

  Once again everyone begins speaking but at least there are a few less people calling him insane. Instead they’re calling Akane insane now. Not that she even bats an eyelid. She just goes back to scratching at her ear as if she can’t even hear all their muttering. Given her ears and senses he can’t believe that for a second though. 

  Trying to pull things back before people start getting too antsy, he reaches out one last time. Stretching out all the hope he can towards though. If they can’t agree that will be it though. He isn’t going to drag this out any further but he needs to at least try one final time before giving up completely. For Makoto and Kirigiri even if for nothing else. 

  Pleading, he bows his head and mumbles, “I’m not going to force you guys to accept this. If we don’t agree then we can all just go on the run and hope that the future foundation never finds us. I can’t do this without all of us working together. But I think we owe the people that helped us if nothing else.” 

  If he can’t do this one thing then what’s even the point of all of these talents other than for causing distress and pain in the world around him. So far the only people he’s ever been able to help are the remnants of despair and the ultimate despair themselves… What a great talent for the ‘ultimate hope’…

  When he finally looks up he sees a room full of faces - of blinking eyes - all of them watching him intensely. Tearing away his flesh and bones to stare straight into his soul. Burning away at every inch of him. 

  Swallowing hard, he chokes down the lump that had risen in his throat. Almost choking him. The silence as he waits for someone to make the first move is unbearable. But what can he say? There’s nothing left for him to sway them with. This needs to be their choice now. He is asking them to risk their lives after all.

  Seconds before it happens, he realises who’s going to be the first one to speak. Sonia’s teeth are biting down on her bottom lip hard enough to draw blood as her hand trembles on the table. Then all at once she stands up, wobbling precariously but staying standing despite the panicked look Gundham throws her way. 

  “I…I am not sure what to say. You might believe it to be foolish but I believe I agree with Hajime. If I am trying to change the person I was to make up for the horrors I have inflicted then I must face the metal.”

  “I think you mean music.” Ibuki chuckles awkwardly, scratching her neck as she slowly stands up. Facing everyone else head on, “But I know what you mean. It wouldn’t be very rock and roll to ditch them.”

  “We did do some appalling things. If we want to work on redeeming ourselves then perhaps this is the first step.” Nekomaru nods with a solid determination as he stands up. Rock solid compared the the almost trembling forms of Ibuki and Sonia. 

  “Putting our livelihoods on the front lines of the battle. Playing with our very souls…It does sound acceptable.” Gundham stands up, taking his spot next to Sonia and offering out his arm to her so she can steady herself under the harsh eyes of everyone else in the room. 

  With every person that stands up, he feels lighter and lighter. His soul swelling up. It makes him wonder why he even doubted them in the first time. Of course it makes sense they would be uncertain at first but of course they would see where he’s coming from. Time was all they needed. And maybe a few convincing speeches…maybe… 

  “What about everyone else?” With a new found confidence with a few people standing behind him he addresses the room with a steady voice, “If you are happy doing this then raise your hand now. I know it wont be easy and we might just go in and get ourselves killed but is there much point in living if we always regret everything we’ve done and are just running forever. If we’re going to keep living then we should make sure they’re lives that we actually want to be living.”

  Without wasting a second, everyone who is standing up raises their hands. He even joins in with them to offer his support. Ibuki and Sonia’s hands are still shaking even now but Nekomaru’s supportive smile steadies them slightly. It’s impossible to doubt how genuine he is, even for a second. 

  After them, Akane, Kazuma and Nagito are the next three to stand up. None of them even looking at each other but all standing up almost simultaneously. After that Ibuki drags Mikan up, letting the girl cling to her side. Then there’s Peko and Fuyuhiko. Finally Mahiru stands up, raising her hand high above her head. 

  Until only Teruteru and Hiyoko are left sitting. Teruteru looks deflated as he sits there, slumped over in his chair with his lip raw and bleeding from the ferocity with which he’s been gnawing at it. Meanwhile Hiyoko has both her hands stuffed under her armpits. Eyes ablaze as she stares right at Hajime. A million emotions flashing past her.

  For a few moments he thinks she’s never going to put her hand up but the more she stares, the more he can read her. Her terror. Her wide eyed panic. The way she’s grilling him. Before she’s even released her hand from it’s death grip under the armpit, he knows exactly what she’s going to do.

  Hiyoko’s hand shoots up first. The fire never quite dying down but her hand is solid. Unshaking and unmoving. A few seconds later (and one gentle shove from Akane later) Teruteru’s hand slowly raises too. Shaking considerably more than Hiyoko’s though. Unlike the others, neither of them stand up to join everyone else but that doesn’t matter. The only thing any of them care about is the fact they’re all in agreement. 

  “That’s settled then. We’re going to save them." Hajime nods solemnly. More than a little aware that he might have just signed their death certificate. All fifteen of them… 

  As soon as he says that, Hiyoko slams her hand back down. Pinning it under her armpit once again so no one can catch sight of the slight way it begins to tremble, “We’re all going to die, aren’t we…?”

  “Hajime will keep us all safe.” Nagito speaks with an absolute unwavering confidence. Similing the entire time. 

  He wishes he could have that kind of confidence in himself… After everything you would think he would have that - after all if anyone could do this it would be him. And yet all he can think about is the million things that could go wrong. And he was the one that came up with this idea and pressured them all into this. If anything happens it’s on him. Their lives back on his shoulders one again. Not that he can complain. He asked for this. Fought for this. The only person to blame is himself. 

  “That doesn’t make me feel better.” Hiyoko growls and it almost makes him laugh. It should annoy him but this might be the most he’s ever liked Hiyoko. 

  Clapping their hands together and bringing everyone back, Kazuma asks, “When are we leaving then?” 

  Honestly, he hadn’t really gotten that far yet. The first idea that pops into his head is that they leave immediately. After all if they want to get the upper hand they should be making the first move. Acting before the Future Foundation has time to prepare. Except that they have already given the Future Foundation weeks, no months, to prep for this. 

  “We need to be suitably prepared before we make any rash decisions.” Nekomaru rubs his chin thoughtfully. Tracing something invisible on the table in front of him. 

  “Oh, you mean like food and supplies?” Sonia’s eyes light up as she tightens her hold on Gundham’s arm which is still laced through her own. 

  “Not to mention all our stuff.” Kazuichi mumbles, his eyes flicking over towards Hajime for a split second. 

  Akane slumps back down in her chair, giving Kazuichi a flippant wave, “We burnt all our stuff. Unless you forgot.”

  That does make their boat a little less crowded then. Small victories he supposes. He doubts any boat they’ll be able to get their hands on will be large anyway. The less stuff they can bring the better. 

  Putting on his most commanding voice, he presses a hand on the table and leans forwards. Like a general giving out orders to his troops, “We should pack everything we need onto a ship as soon as possible so we can leave at the drop of a hat.”

  Even if he hasn’t decided on when to leave yet, if they’re at least ready he can call on them at any time. For now that might be the best compromise they’re going to get. The safest too…

  “Sounds fan-fucking-tastic.” Fuyuhiko scowls but gets up without anymore complaints. His little shadow darting after him. Neither even stopping for a second to listen to the last of Hajime’s instructions. Fuyuhiko’s hands are simply shoved into his pockets as he hunches over and stalks off without another look back. 

  “I will keep an eye on the situation and let you know when to make our move. For now just brace yourselves.”

  Brace yourselves. He has no idea how they are even supposed to brace themselves for something like this. No matter what fanciful lies he weaves, they still have no idea what they’re walking into. Yet brace themselves they do.

Chapter Text

01/06 - 06:06

  Sighing, he stares out over the still water. Not a single wave to be seen. Just a perfect horizon line splitting the world. The sun is just about peeking over it. Splaying colours all across the waters surface. 

  With the water this nice it’s easy to forget what lays ahead of them. To think by tomorrow he might be dead. His intestines splaying across the ground. If this is going to be his last sunrise he should probably make the most of it while it still lasts. 

  Regardless of how much he wants to though, he can’t waste too long though. It would be unfair to everyone else. No, he has a job to do. No matter how much he hates the job. 

  Groaning slightly, he grabs the nearest box and hoists it up. Holding it with both hands and giving the bottom of the box as much support as he can. Given how powerful his muscles are it’s almost impressive that it’s giving him this much trouble… What the hell did they pack in here? Based on the metal clanking he has to assume it’s tins of some kind but at this point he wouldn’t be surprised if it was somehow some kind of portable radiator or rice cooker. 

  Perhaps leaving them to all pack their own things wasn’t a good idea. Already he’d had to throw the china tea set off the ship. No matter how much Sonia complains, they’re not going to be making tea from a fragile tea set any time soon. 

  Although he stumbles up the ramp under the pressing weight of the box, he manages to make it onto the ship itself relatively safely. Now he just needs to find space for all of this nonsense. There are fifteen of them, sure, but there’s no way all of this is needed. Nevertheless he slides the box under one of the seats until it’s safely out of the way and even Mikan couldn’t trip over it. 

  Wiping the sweat off of his brow, he looks over his handiwork with a grin. It’s like a game of Tetris more than anything else. Shoving stuff aside carefully to make as much space as possible. He had tried to wrangle a bigger boat but this little thing was all he could get. It's a miracle they even got this to be honest.

  There’s a room or two below deck but one of them is already stuffed full of duvets and sleeping bags they had dragged down. And the other is stocked full of boxes of food. Most of which he’s sure will get abandoned as soon as they land on the shore if they survive this first trip. After going through all this he certainly isn’t going to be the one transporting all this stuff. He gets the feeling none of them want to be hoisting this boxes around on their journey either. If they did they would probably be here helping him right now but instead he’s here all alone. Not even Kazuichi or Nekomaru joining him - not that he’s picky, at this point he’d take anyone he can get. 

  He has no idea where they’re all going to fit in but hopefully it won’t be a long trip. Especially since there’s only a single toilet on the entire thing and not a single shower. Living here has gotten him a little too used to the luxury amenity of a shower. Going back to living in squalor is going to be difficult to say the least. 

  Shaking himself back awake, he looks back over at the docks where the last few bags still sit on the floor. Looking around at the space left on the deck he resolves to simply throw them into the ‘bedroom’. Surely someone will recognise the bags and lay claim to it when they all get aboard.

  So wiping away the slowly beading sweat one last time he cracks back on. Determination flooding his features as he basks in what might be his last sunrise. At least if this is the last one it’s a beautiful one. If nothing else he’ll have this memory. 

~~~

01/06 - 10:01

  By the time he finished he’s panting…perhaps a little too much. It takes everything he has to drag is legs up the stairs. Moving one by one. 

 On the floor above he can hear footsteps thundering - probably the doctors dealing with their own emergency plans. He has no idea what they’re going to do to protect themselves but hopefully if they can deal with the Future Foundation as soon as possible the doctors will be able to get away without getting punished. Hopefully… Or maybe they’ll all just get killed and will regret their life choices. Either one is possible.

  In comparison, their floor is dead silent. You could hear a pin drop and it would be like thunder in your ears. He wants to say he’s surprised but given everything it makes sense. Not much going on to be talking and cheering about. Only a pervasive sense of terror and anxiety flooding every inch of the building. Just what you needed to bolster your confidence. 

  As he stumbles onto the floor her drags his feet along the corridor. Enjoying the way his feet drag loudly against the smooth floor. 

  He should probably check on everyone - making sure they’re not puking up their guts or something equally disgusting. He doesn’t though. Instead he wanders into the Neo World room. Plopping himself down in front of the computer once again. 

  He has been avoiding this for hours now. Spending all his time trying to formulate the right words in his mind. But with everything else prepared he can’t procrastinate this anymore. If nothing else, Alter Ego at least deserves the slightest explanation. He can’t just dip out without a word after everything he did for them. 

  Alter Ego?

  He types in a message and waits patiently. Watching every second tick by. Tapping his foot on the floor impatiently. 

  Yes? Is something wrong?

  Words flicker on the screen. He can practically hear Alter Ego saying the words aloud as he reads them. 

  Sort of. The future foundation has arrested Makoto.

  Oh no! Is he okay?

  We’re going to see of we can help him soon. Hopefully it will all go well.

  Okay. I have faith in you all. I’m sure you’ll help him.

  His stomach twists itself up. Churning until it’s tied into a tight choking knot. His fists curling up as they hover over the keyboard. 

  I hope so.

  Hope is all he can do. It’s not like he’s going to offload his uncertainty onto Alter Ego of all people. He might be an AI but he’s already so disconnected from everything that happens so he would be left with that uncertainty for far longer than the rest of them will be. Confidence is what he needs right now. 

  Did you come here to say goodbye then?

  Not quite. I came here to suggest that you come with us. 

  Every second he has to wait for the response feels like it drags on. Like minutes are passing rather than milliseconds. When he had come up with the idea he had assumed Alter Ego would accept without even a second thought. But now he’s sat here again it’s harder and harder to believe. It’s not like he has the best track record with AI’s on a USB stick after all…

  Come with you?

  Yes. I still have the old USB stick. Junko’s virus was completely destroyed so it’s empty and free now.

  He types out the words as quickly as possible. As if hoping that spitting them out fast enough will change Alter Ego’s mind or sway his choice.

  You want to bring me with you? Why?

  Well, when the future foundation comes here they might destroy you. If we bring you with us we can take you to Makoto.

  He’s honestly not too sure what they will do if they get to Makoto and manage to help him. The only thing he does know is that there’s no way anything good will happen if the Future Foundation gets their hands on Alter Ego. The only way he can protect the AI which did so much for them is to keep it with him. Hopefully his luck will be able to protect it if nothing else… 

  I… That sounds like a good idea. Plug the USB in.

  He breaths out a sigh of relief, slumping over slightly. 

  Will do. 

  His hands shake slightly as he grabs the USB stick and rubs a finger along the surface. It feels smooth. Unblemished. Not even so much as a nick despite everything it’s been through. The thought of using it now make him laugh aloud.

  Thankfully Alter Ego can’t hear whats happening and no one is around to overhear what must sound like his slow dissent into madness. What comes around goes around. Maybe he hasn’t learnt as much as he thought he had. Doing the same thing all over again - although he trusts Alter Ego far more than he ever trusted Junko. 

  Bracing himself, he runs a hand down the side of the computer until he feels the dip of the USB port. Keeping his hand as steady as possible so as not to scratch up the USB stick, he slides the metal piece in until it clicks. A weird fluttering dance in his stomach uncomfortably. 

  There, does that work?

  Yes, I can upload myself. Please take care. 

  Don’t worry, I won’t let you get damaged.

  I wasn’t meaning me. I was meaning take care of yourselves. The Future Foundation is powerful. They aren’t bad people but they’re determined and they have already justified your deaths. I don’t want you all to die.

  A small smile crooks on his lips. He should have already realised that would be how the AI would feel. He’s not exactly unpredictable. Actually if anything he’s reliable and stable. 

  Alter Ego can’t see his smile but he is grinning as he types out his final message to Alter Ego. 

  Thanks. I will keep all of you safe. It’ll be fine. 

  Alter Ego doesn’t type out a response but a small download window pop up in the middle of the screen. The bar slowly filling up millimeter by millimeter. He leans back in his chair, watching it slowly crawl up. Given how big the file must be it makes sense, but it doesn’t make it any less boring.

  He considers getting up and making a tea as he waits but even just thinking about walking away makes his stomach lurch. He promised he would keep the AI safe so he shouldn’t leave his post until Alter Ego has been secured. 

  In then end it takes almost an hour to full move the files. The final pop up message appearing on the screen to announce the completion. Hastily clicking it away he’s greeted with a blank screen. All of their communications completely gone. 

  Good. The future foundation don’t need to have seen any of their chats. The less they can find the better.

  Even in spite of the message informing him of the success, his heart races as he grabs onto the USB. A million worst case scenario thoughts rushing through him. Before he can start twisting up his head even more, he pulls the USB stick loose and clicks the cap on the top. Double and triple checking the seal. Without a second thought he shoves it deep into his jean pockets until it’s completely hidden away from sight. 

  Straightening himself out and flattening his hair, he begins to walk out of the room. Fighting his every urge to look back at the computer which had once housed Alter Ego. Instead he pats down his pocket. Reassuring himself it hasn’t magically disappeared in the 10 seconds since he slid it in there. 

  Tearing his hand away from his pocket, he pushes onward to their quarter. Ready to check for any last things they need to bring. Knowing his friends even a situation like this isn’t going to stop them forgetting something here or there.

  But as he passes out of the communal area and into the corridor, he’s greeted by the sight of two people stood in the hallway. Heads bowed as they whisper to each other too quietly for even him to hear. Frowning he stops in his tracks for a moment before continuing on towards them.

  Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi? Not the pairing he was expecting to see at a time like this in the middle of the dark corridor. 

  “Is everything okay?” The lines on his forehead only grow deeper the more he looks at them. They’re both stood in front of Fuyuhiko’s room but even when he subtly peers forwards, he can’t see Peko anywhere. Just the two of them as far as the eye can see. 

  “As okay as it can be.” Fuyuhiko sighs dramatically. Shoving both hands into his pockets once again as he looks Hajime up and down, “How are you doing? Have you slept at all?”

  “There’s not exactly time for sleeping. I have to be ready in case the Future Foundation suddenly appear.” He pinches the bridge of his nose, fighting every urge to yawn. 

  “They haven’t arrived yet so shouldn’t you make the most of the time now before something happens.” Kazuichi says it like it’s the most simple thing in the world. God he wishes it was that simple. Everything would be so much easier to handle. 

  “If they haven’t arrived yet then it means it’s going to have to be soon. It’s been well over twenty four hours now. There’s no way they aren’t on their way by now.”

  “Still, you need sleep if you’re going to complete whatever this vague plan is.” There’s an underlying frustration to Fuyuhiko’s words but he ignores it. This isn’t the time to be dealing with this stuff.

  “I’ll sleep on the boat.” Knowing how long the boat ride is he’ll barely even get a few hours sleep but they are right. Something will be better than nothing. If he wants them to have faith in him and his plan then he probably shouldn’t be yawning the entire time. 

  “That sounds…healthy.” Kazuichi mutters more to himself than to anyone else.

  “It’s as healthy as we can afford to be right now.”

  “Yeah yeah.” Fuyuhiko clenches his jaw a little, “What about this plan then? Any more ideas?”

  “I have no clue what’s going on in the building right now. Without getting into their systems, it’s impossible to account for all variable. But Kyosuke Munakata is their leader. He’s the one tying them all together - always has been. I’ll handle him and if I’m successful we’ll be able to get them to free Makoto even if nothing else.” 

  Even as he says it he knows how basic it sounds, but he trusts his - and their - ability to adapt to whats thrown at them. There are too many unknowns and variables for them to be successful in any other way.

  The others are biting their lips. Neither of them good enough actors to fully disguise their expressions. 

  “What about Miss Yukizome?” Fuyuhiko’s question catches him off guard. He stumbles for a second, trying to piece together what he’s even asking.

  “What do you mean?”

  Of course he remembers Yukizome. He had barely even seen her once but it was impossible to forget what happened that night. And even if he didn’t see her, he heard from her more than once. Junko’s little rat on the inside. Pulling at cables and whispering poison onto the ear of the future foundations director. Junko cared for them all in her twisted way, but he always got the feeling Yukizome was the one that amused her most. Even more than Izuru. 

  “She’ll be there, right? She never left Munakata’s side, not after all the brainwashing.” Kazuichi waves both hands around his head as if trying to give them a front row demonstration. 

  “True. She’ll be there… We’ll need to account for anything she could mess with.” At this point, he has no idea how she’ll react to them. She’s a smart woman though and her despair will make her want to stay on Munakata’s good side so she can keep sowing seeds of discourse. Even if she did still believe they were in despair there's no certainty that she would help them in any way.

  “If we’re saving Makoto then I want to save Yukizome.”

  “Save her? How?”

  His mind races trying to piece things together. Dealing with Munakata was one thing but touching Yukizome was another. If there’s one thing he knows about people - even logical ones - it’s that they lose their minds when it comes to the people they love. Trying to do anything to Yukizome is going to ruin their relationship with Munakata before things have even begun. 

  “We’re all here, aren’t we. Alter Ego is still right there. If this is successful and you do whatever nonsense you’re planning then we’ll be free from the Future Foundation. We can capture Yukizome and drag her back here to sort out her head.” Fire begins to burn in Fuyuhikos words. They aren’t even pretending to whisper now. Fuyuhiko dramatically points to the room behind them all as he speaks, causing Hajime to instinctively press a hand against his pocket.

  “After everything she did for us, she deserves to be freed just like us.” Kazuichi unconsciously switches on the puppy dog eyes, as if that of all things is going to sway Hajime.

  They do have a point though. They managed to all free themselves of Junko so she should be given the same chance. This is their redemption so if they’re going to help Makoto it’s unfair to not help her. Out of everyone in the entire world, they’re the ones that understand what she’s going through best of all. If they can help her then they should do everything in their power to help.

  “Okay. We’ll capture her and do our best to help her.” Saying the words out loud is like speaking it into being. Binding them into a contract together. However it’s not one he’s planning of backing out on any time soon. 

  “Thanks. I know you don’t know her but she means a lot to us.” Kazuichi’s comment almost makes him laugh. 

  “I might not know what you went through with her but I have heard your stories more than once. I know full well how important she was to you all. So did Junko…” Almost all their school stories started and ended with Yukizome. Hell, they talk about her more than they do their own parents most the time. He’s not dumb enough to forget what that means even if years have passed since any of them interacted with her. 

  But even though Hajime had agreed to Fuyuhiko’s plan, he still shift about uncomfortably. Scratching at his arm, “I still don’t like this plan - it’s got too many holes.”

  He can’t say he likes it either but you work with what you have. Dire situations don’t leave much room for being comfortable, “Without more information I have nothing to work with. All my data is months old now and in a world like this a lot can change in that short amount of time.” 

  “If you could get into their security system and listen to them you think you could come up with a better plan?” Kazuichi mumbles, not quite looking at either of them but staring at something far off in the distance. staring directly through them. 

  “Undoubtedly.” He doesn’t even waste a second before replying, “Data is crucial to creating an accurate analysis. Do you think you can get us in?”

  “I’ll need to check the boat we’re using but I think so.”

  “That’s gre -” 

  Fuyuhiko begins to speak but before any of them can say anything at all, a shadowy figure appears at the end of the corridor. As it gets closer and closer he begins to notice the two neat braids either side of the figures head. And the stilted cold way they smile. Peko. So she really wasn’t in the room? 

  “Ah there you are. Oh, Kazuichi and Hajime.” She looks them both up and down. Sizing them up. Considering they’re all living together he’s almost offended at the surprise in her voice. 

  “Hey Peko. Is everything sorted?” Fuyuhiko stands up straight, as if to attention, and clears his throat. 

  She nods robotically, thankfully the awkward smile dissipates as she does, “Yes. I have done as you asked.” 

  “Nice. Let’s go then. We’ll catch you later.”

  Just like that, he waves at them both and drags Peko into the room with him. Almost slamming the door in their face. The behaviour only makes Hajime raises his eyebrows even more. It seems almost out of character. What the hell is going on here… 

  “See ya.” Poor Kazuichi is left waving at the door solemnly. Whispering to the wooden surface as if Fuyuhiko is somehow going to hear. But after a few seconds he straightens up and clears his throat, “I should go too and check the boat. Do you want to come with me?”

  Every cell in his body wants to go. He needs to see what the mechanic is going to try and if it will work. But he knows that’s not where he’s needed. With time as short as it is, they can only do what little they can, “Sorry, I need to check on how Kazuma is doing. They need to get some rest and the boats could be coming at any second.”

  “That makes sense. You know where to find me.” Kazuichi tries to smile but it doesn’t even reach his eyes. Stilted and feeble. Standing on it’s very last legs. It’s not like Hajime can drop everything just because he’s a little sad though. Kazuichi will do fine. He always does.

  Before he can turn away, Hajime reaches a hand forward and clamps down on his shoulder. Locking eyes, “Good luck.”

  “Thanks. I’m going to need it.”