Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I_Am_Ironman created Avengers Assemble 

I_Am_Ironman added Spider-Man, SteveRogers, THOR, Dr.BruceBanner,  User#102746, Hawkeyeisthecoolest, King_T’Challa,  Dr.Stephen_Strange, Scottyscottscott, Wasp, Rhodeybear, TheFalcon, V.I.S.I.O.N., WandaMaximoff, James_Barnes, Captain_Marvel, valkyrie, shuriwithab

I_Am_Ironman- This server is for work purposes only, please do not spam or misuse this server. 

SteveRogers- Of course. 

WandaMaximoff- I feel like we’re missing someone. Are we missing someone?

Spider-Man- We don’t have any of the Defenders or other vigilantes, but I believe all the Avengers, or at least part-time Avengers are here. 

I_Am_Iron_Man- Yeah I got everyone. And hey kid. 

Spider-Man- I’m not a kid. 

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- suuuuurre

Spider-Man- I pay taxes. I have my own apartment. I can legally drink. 

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- fuvking hell no need to go psyco 

User#102746- Clint this is a professional setting. Act like it. 

Spider-Man- Thank you, Ms. Romanov.   

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- see this is y ur a kid ur 2 polite

Spider-Man- I always use Mr, Ms, and Mx.  Even at my real job.  It’s just professionalism.  

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- bruh chill

THOR- I do believe my brother is missing from this server.  

I_Am_Ironman- We aren’t adding Loki.  He’s a criminal.  

James_Barnes- So am I.  

SteveRogers- You got cleared, though.  And you were brainwashed.  

THOR- As was my brother, yet you do not extend sympathy to him? 

I_Am_Ironman- Ugh fine, but he needs to be serious.  

THOR- Ah many thanks. 

THOR added snek (he/him)

snek (he/him)- what is this thor

THOR- It is a group chat, dear brother.  And no you cannot leave.

snek (he/him)- boo you whore

Spider-Man- Did Loki just quote Mean Girls?? 

shuriwithaB- yes, yes he did 

scottyscottscott- Why’s Loki got his pronouns in his u/n?

valkyrie- Loki’s gender-fluid.  

SteveRogers- Pardon me? 

Dr.BruceBanner- Google it, Steve.  Google it.  

Spider-Man changed nickname to Spider-Man (he/they) 

James_Barnes- Okay now I’m confused. 

Spider-Man (he/they)- It just means I’m cool with both he/him and they/them as pronouns.  

WandaMaximoff- What’s a pronoun. 

shuriwithaB- idfk who do u think i am?? idek what a verb is. 

shuriwithaB- or like a noun.  what’s a noun???

Dr.Stephen_Strange- Why am I here.  

V.I.S.I.O.N.- I do believe it is because you are an Avenger.  

Scottyscottscott- Omg I’m an Avenger??

Wasp- I should hope so, you went on house arrest for them.  

TheFalcon- lmaoooao i fogot about that 

shuriwithaB- where r alll the lesbians

Captain_Marvel- Here! 

User#102746- Here. 

valkyrie- hree 

valkyrie- here*

SteveRogers- What does the little asterisk mean? 

I_Am_Ironman- Are you kidding me. 

SteveRogers- No? I’m genuinely confused.  

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- bruh waht 

James_Barnes- He’s trolling you.  

SteveRogers- Awww Buckyyyy why’d you ruin my funnnn.  

James_Barnes- Because you deserve it.  

SteveRogers- Betrayal.  

James_Barnes- :) 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Who knew Captain America was such a troll.  

James_Barnes- I did.  

TheFalcon- I did.  

User#102746- I did.  

Spider-Man (he/they)- You don’t count Ms. Romanov, you know everything.  

User#102746- Except for your identity.  

User#102746- Which you should tell me.  

Spider-Man (he/they)- I’m so sorry Ms. Romanov, but only four people know.  And they figured it out by accident. 

User#102746- So you’re too good for the Black Widow?  Aren’t we spider-buddies? 

I_Am_Ironman- Damn you’re really going all in Nat.  

Spider-Man (he/they)- I’m so sorry Ms. Romanov T-T

shuriwithaB- look at that u made him cry say sorry

shuriwithaB- oh also bc my gf would kill me if i didnt 

shuriwithaB changed nickname to shuriwithaB (she/her)

shuriwithaB (she/her)- there we go

shuriwithaB (she/her)- now apologize natashalie or whatever ur name is 

User#102746- No. 

Spider-Man (he/they)- It’s alright Shuri.

Spider-Man (he/they)- Though my boyfriend just said his favorite superhero is @Captain_Marvel now.  

Captain_Marvel- Oh thank you Spider-Man’s boyfriend!  You’re my favorite civilian besides my wife and kid!! 

Spider-Man (he/they)- No joke he started crying.  

Captain_Marvel- <3

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- HAHAHAHAH NAT IS SALTYYYYY SHES MADDD

User#102746- No I’m not.  

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- HAHAHA YES U RRRRRRRR

User#102746- Would it kill you to type out all the letters in a word? 

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- yes 

James_Barnes- Good.  

Hawkeyesithecoolest- omg what did i do 2 u 

James_Barnes- You ate all my empanadas.  

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- sucks 2 b u ig

James_Barnes- That wasn’t even English what the fuck.  

Captain MEE6 would like to remind @James_Barnes that the word [ fuck ] is banned. 

James_Barnes- Oh my G-d. 

Hawekeyisthecoolest- HAHAHAHAHA SUX 2 SUCK

SteveRogers- Why is there a GIF of me.  And who is Captain MEE6? 

V.I.S.I.O.N.- Captain MEE6 is a Discord Bot.  

WandaMaximoff- What Vis said.  

SteveRogers- But why is there a GIF of me?? Hello?? I can see you’re all online??? 

Chapter Text

Avengers Assemble

I_Am_Ironman- Has everyone repsonded in the chat at least once? 

I_Am_Ironman- *responded 

I_Am_Ironman- @Rhodeybear why haven’t you responded.  

I_Am_Ironman- C’mon Rhodeyyyyyy

I_Am_Ironman- Where are youuuuuuuu

I_Am_Ironman- Rhodey, light of my life, jam to my jelly please responddddd.  

Rhodeybear has left Avengers Assemble 

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- HAHHAHAHAHA ROFL IM LAUGHING SO HARDDDD

shuriwithaB (she/her)- why do you text like a middle-aged white man trying to be cool? 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- oh… right… 

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- omg r00d

shuriwithaB (she/her)- @Spider-Man (he/they) d-do you see this too?? 

Spider-Man (he/they)- I wish I didn’t.  

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- words hurt guyz 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- 🤮

Spider-Man (he/they)- Oh my G-d.  I hate it here.  Mom come pick me up.  

User#102746- You have a mother?

Spider-Man (he/they)- Well doesn’t everyone have a mother? Biologically speaking? 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- hahahaha i bet ur an orphan  

Spider-Man (he/they)- I am trying so hard to remain professional.  

shuriwithaB (she/her)- fight me bitch

I_Am_Ironman- Okay okay take it to the DMs.  

SteveRogers- I thought this was a professional server? 

James_Barnes- Did you really.  Be honest.  Did you really think that.  

SteveRogers- No but I had hoped.  

WandaMaximoff- F

Spider-Man (he/they)- F

shuriwithaB (she/her)- F

V.I.S.I.O.N- F 

King_T’Challa- I forgot to ask but @shuriwithaB who on earth is your girlfriend and why have I not met her? 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- uh

Spider-Man (he/they)-

King_T’Challa- Shuri who is your girlfriend.  I’m going to play the guessing game if you don’t spill.  

shuriwithaB (she/her)- in this server?? 

King_T’Challa- yes

WandaMaximoff-

King_T’Challa- 3

shuriwithaB (she/her)- nononooo

King_T’Challa- 2 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- please no 

King_T’Challa- 1 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- fine 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- she’s this girl from NYC and she came to Wakanda on an exchange trip.  Her name’s Michelle Jones but she goes by MJ

Spider-Man (he/they)- what the fuck

shuriwithaB (she/her)- you got a problem?? 

Spider-Man (he/they)- No no I just.  Hold on one second.   

Losers 

Petri Dish- MJ YOU DIDN’T TELL ME YOU WERE DATING THE PRINCESS OF WAKANDA

nnnned- WHAT THE FUCK

sappho_reincarnate- uh surprise? 

nnnned- bro you better add her to this gc right fucking now 

sappho_reincarnate- ugh fine but don’t embarrass me.  

sappho_reincarnate- also what about your identity? 

Petri Dish- fuck my identity this is so funny add her right now 

sappho_reincarnate added shuriwithaB to Loser 

sappho_reincarnate- welcome to hell 

sappho_reincarnate- these are my friends @nnnned and @Petri Dish but you know peter better as the one

sappho_reincarnate- the only

shuriwithaB (she/her)- spiderman? 

sappho_reincarnate- hey you ruined my dramatic reveal

shuriwithaB (she/her)- fuck your dramatic reveal 

sappho_reincarnate- fuck you

shuriwithaB (she/her)- fuck me yourself coward

nnnned- okok take it to the DMs peter is still an innocent child

sappho_reincarnate- … 

nnnned- ok i’m an innocent child please stop 

sappho_reincarnate- i was about to say have you seen peter and harry?? 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- who’s harry? 

nnnned- peter’s boyfriend 

sappho_reincarnate- peter’s boyfriend

Petri Dish- my boyfriend

shuriwithaB (she/her)- fun.  also not that htis isn’t super interesting but the avengers gc is blowing up peter n me better get going.  

shuriwithaB (she/her)- this*

nnnned- ah ok have fun 

sappho_reincarnate- ttyl babe 

Avengers Assemble 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- BAHAHAHAHAHA THIS IS SO FUNNY  

Spider-Man (he/they)- shush

shuriwithaB (she/her)- OMG SPIDERMAN UR SO CUTE

Spider-Man (he/they)- OH MY GOD SHURI DID YOU GOOGLE ME?? 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- HAHAHA YES YOU’RE LUIKE A PUPPY DOG

shuriwithaB (she/her)- LIL GOLDEN RETRIEVER BOY

User#102746- what 

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- OAKNSFOIWHE NAT IS SO MAD THIS IS HILARIOUS

I_Am_Ironman- Oh my God @shuriwithaB send the pic

shuriwithaB (she/her)- uh no way old man spidey’s identity is safe with me 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- also that was such an ugly keysmash @Hawkeyeisthecoolest

User#102746- So we know he knows a girl named Michelle Jones in New York City but that leaves us with nothing.  That is useless information.  

shuriwithaB (she/her)- my gf is not useless!! 

Spider-Man (he/they)- mj is the best we stan mj

Spider-Man (he/they)- too bad she’s too lesbian for me :/ 

Spider-Man (he/they)- what we had was great 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- back off bitch 

Spider-Man (he/they)- dw i love my bf too much even if mj is amazing 

WandaMaximoff- We love the drama.  

V.I.S.I.O.N.- I do believe they have forgotten this is the general Avengers group chat, though.  

Spider-Man (he/they)- Oopsie-daisies 

snek (she/her)- ooo who’s your boyfriend @Spider-Man (he/they) ?? 

Spider-Man (he/they)- My boyfriend is amazing. 

Spider-Man (he/they)- My boyfriend’s name is Henry

snek (she/her)- why are you trying to lie to me

Spider-Man (he/they)- Or was it Harvey? 

Wasp- I don’t think this is a good use of this chat.  

Spider-Man (he/they)- Or was it Hunter? Holden? No, no I think it was Hector.  

shuriwithaB (she/her)- lord help us all 

Dr.Stephen_Strange- Again.  Why am I here?

Dr.BruceBanner- Who knows. 

Chapter Text

Avengers Assemble

Spider-Man (he/they)- stab

Spider-Man (he/they)- stabby stab stab 

I_Am_Ironman- You alright kid? 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Oh my G-d sorry wrong chat.  I meant to send that to my boyfriend.  

I_Am_Ironman- That doesn’t answer my question…

Spider_Man (he/they)- No yeah I’m good my boyfriend dressed my stab wound. Thanks for your concern. 

I_Am_Ironman- ???????

Rhodeybear added Rhodeybear to Avengers Assemble 

Rhodeybear- Now you know how we feel. 

Rhodeybear left Avengers Assemble 

shuriwithaB- 💀💀💀

TheFalcon- Dramatic much?

I_Am_Ironman- I- 

I_Am_Ironman- What????

WandaMaximoff- Colonel Rhodes is a fucking mood. 

V.I.S.I.O.N- I agree. 

Scottyscottscott- Why do you both always show up at the same time? 

WandaMaximoff- Oh Vis just follows me and only checks it when I do. 

V.I.S.I.O.N- ^^^

Scottyscottscott- Fun. 

Wasp- Scott you’re late to dinner. Get your ass into the restaurant Hank’s about to leave. 

Scottyscottscott- I’m sorry!! The Uber is running late!! I’ll be there in 5!!

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- HAHAHAHA LOSERRRR 

User#102746- Clint why are you like this. 

Spider-Man (hey/they)- Doesn’t he have kids???

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- um yes I do I’m the best dad ever. 

shuriwithaB- huh really? 

User#102746- He’s actually a very good dad.  Why he insists on texting like this is a whole other story.  

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- um r00d much but ty ig 

James_Barnes- It is so weird seeing you type like a teenager.  

shuriwithaB- i didn’t type like this when i was a teenager!! 

James_Barnes- Yes, well, you’re smart.  

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- and im not?? 

James_Barnes- Yes.  

WandaMaximoff- 

V.I.S.I.O.N.- Harsh.  

Scottyscottscott- Wow you guys are creepy.  

Wasp- Scott stop texting while Hank’s in the bathroom.  

TheFalcon- This group chat is so chaotic.  

James_Barnes- Did you expect anything different?

TheFalcon- Maybe?

James_Barnes- You fool. 

snek (she/her)- who here is single 

THOR- here, dear sister! 

snek (she/her)- oh god i know you’re single 

Dr.BruceBanner- I am also single, though I’m not really interested in relationships. 

King_T’Challa- I as well, Dr. Banner. 

Dr.Stephen_Strange- I am single and, as the kids say, “ready to mingle.” 

shuriwithaB- omfg @Spider-Man (he/they) @WandaMaximoff are you seeing this??? 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Unfortunately. 

WandaMaximoff- Yeah… 

V.I.S.I.O.N.-

snek (she/her)- not that this isn't amusing but we’re missing someone 

snek (she/her)- last single person say here 

TheFalcon- ...here 

snek (she/her)- hah! you can run but you can’t hide! 

WandaMaximoff- wow almost everyone is in a relationship. 

SteveRogers- I mean we are all about marriage age. 

I_Am_Ironman- …What…

James_Barnes- He’s trolling y'all again. 

SteveRogers- Stop ruining my fucking fun you dick. 

Captain MEE6 would like to remind @SteveRogers that the word [fucking] is banned. 

Captain MEE6 would like to remind @SteveRogers that the word [dick] is banned. 

James_Barnes- LMFAOOOOAOA STEVE JUST PUNCHED THE WALL 

shuriwithaB- THIS IS TOO FUNNY IM CRYINGGGG

Spider-Man (he/they)- LMFAO ME TOO IM SENDING SS TO MJ AND THEM

SteveRogers- Oh my God please don’t. 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Too late!! 

Koala Cult 

Petri Dish- [image.jpg] 

nnnned- oh my god no

sappho_reincarnate- what the fuck

Harry Potter- ????? is that captain america?!?!?!

Harry Potter- my childhood is ruined 

Petri Dish- like u had a childhood stop the cap 

sappho_reincarnate-

  Avengers Assemble 

SteveRogers- @Spider-Man (he/they) You didn’t send it did you???

Spider-Man (he/they)- Of course I did. MJ was very disappointed. 

SteveRogers- 👊😔

shuriwithaB- wow captain america is really up with the times 

James_Barnes- That’s what I’ve been tryign to say but y’all just don’t believe me! 

James_Barnes- tryinf*

James_Barnes- TRYING****

User#102746- What’s everyone’s zodiac sign.  

Spider-Man (he/they)- Number 1: Are we going to just pretend you don’t already know that? 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Number 2: Ms. Romanov is a Zodiac Lesbian™???? 

User#102746- Number 3: Shut the fuck up and answer the goddamned question. 

Captain MEE6 would like to remind @User#102736 that the word [fuck] is banned. 

Captain MEE6 would like to remind @User102746 that the word [goddamned] is banned

SteveRogers- HAHAHAHAHAHA

SteveRogers- L

SteveRogers- O 

SteveRogers- S 

User#102746 muted SteveRogers

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- nat has mod poewrs???

User#102746- Yes I do.  Now.  Answer me.  

Captain_Marvel- I’m an early Taurus and my wife is a late Aries! 

User#102746- Good.  Who’s next.  

I_Am_Ironman- I’m a Gemini and Pepper’s an Aries.  

User#102746- Makes sense.  

James_Barnes- I’m a Pisces. 

SteveRogers- I just googled it and I’m a Cancer. 

Captain_Marvel- Oh wow y’all are really compatible.  

Spider-Man (he/they)- I’m a Virgo and my boyfriend is a Scorpio.  

shuriwithaB (she/her)- nice.  i’m a sagittarius and mj’s a gemini 

User#102746- Not super compatible but you and her can make it work.  

shuriwithaB (she/her)- good to know

THOR- I am, according to Lady Friday, a Libra! 

snek (she/her)- i’m a sagittarius 

shuriwithaB- omg twins 

Dr.Stephen_Strange- I am a Libra.  

Captain_Marvel- Ooo you and Loki are really compatible.  

Dr.Stephen_Strange- No I hate Loki.  She’s a conceited, hubristic nightmare.   

snek (she/her)- i hate him.  dr. strange is a half-rate, cocksure man who thinks he’s sooooo much better than everyone else. 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- omfg enemies to lovers 100k slowburn @Spider-Man (he/they) @WandaMaximoff

Spider-Man (he/they)- we love to see.  

Dr.Stephen_Strange- What does that mean?? 

WandaMaximoff-  Wattpad.  AO3.  Fanfiction.  Enemies to lovers.  The bread to my butter.  

V.I.S.I.O.N.-

Dr.Stephen_Strange- No I’d never date Loki.  

snek (he/him)- omg why not i’m offended 

Dr.Stephen_Strange- Didn’t you just say you hated me??

snek (he/him)- me hating u and me dating u are not two mutually exclusive things

Dr.Stephen_Strange- … 

Dr.Stephen_Strange- DM me.  

snek (he/him)- HAHAHA YES SCORE

shuriwithaB (she/her)-  zodiac lesbians for the win 

Captain_Marvel- :D

User#102746- Yes.  

I_Am_Ironman- Excuse me this isn’t a dating server.  

User#102746- Shut up Tony. 

Captain_Marvel- Shut up Tony. 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- shut up tony

Rhodeybear added Rhodeybear to Avengers Assemble 

Rhodeybear- Shut up Tony

Rhodeybear left Avengers Assemble 

I_Am_Ironman- I DON’T DESERVE TO BE ATTACKED LIKE THIS 

WandaMaximoff- … 

V.I.S.I.O.N.- 

Chapter Text

Avengers Assemble 

WandaMaximoff- What’s everyone’s Hogwarts house? 

WandaMaximoff- Wait actually let’s do roll call.  All Gryffindors say here: 

SteveRogers- Here

THOR- Here! 

valkyrie- here 

Captain_Marvel- Here! 

I_Am_Ironman- ...here 

WandaMaximoff- Nice.  Now all our Slytherins! 

Dr.Stephen_Strange-  Here. 

snek (he/they)-  here 

WandaMaximoff- Aw cute.  I ship it.  Also here.  

WandaMaximoff- And all of our Ravenclaws? (I’m saving Hufflepuff for last since that’s the majority of people here). 

shuriwithaB- here!!!!!

Dr.BruceBanner- Here. 

Wasp- Here.  

Rhodeybear added Rhodeybear to Avengers Assemble 

Rhodeybear- Here. 

Rhodeybear left Avengers Assemble 

WandaMaximoff- Why does he do that every time?? 

V.I.S.I.O.N-

WandaMaximoff- Lmao yeah.  And now, drumroll please, the Hufflepuffs! 

Spider-Man (he/they)- here! 

User#102746- Here. 

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- HEREEEEEEE 

James_Barnes- Here… 

King_T’Challa- Here.  

V.I.S.I.O.N.- Here

Scottyscottscott- Here!!! 

TheFalcon- Here.  

shuriwithaB- wow there are a lot of hufflepuffs

WandaMaximoff- ikr 

Captain_Marvel- I thought there would be more Gryffindors.  Also Colonel Rhodes is a Ravenclaw? He seems more like a Hufflepuff, what with how he’s stuck with Tony.  

Rhodeybear added Rhodeybear to Avengers Assemble 

Rhodeybear- Yes but I value learning and knowledge and thinking most of all.  That’s why Dr. Strange is a Slytherin.  He didn’t become a doctor for the learning, he became a doctor for the prestige.  

Rhodeybear left Avengers Assemble 

Captain_Marvel- Wow.  Okay thank you.  

shuriwithaB- now ik why he and tony stark are such good friends

Spider-Man (he/they)- They’re both drama queens.  

I_Am_Ironman- I-

I_Am_Ironman- You’re not wrong but next topic.  

shuriwithaB (she/her)- oh! oh! i’ve recently gotten super obsessed with picrews!  this is one of my favorites: 

shuriwithaB (she/her)-

Spider-Man (he/they)- Omg that’s so cute!! Send the link?

shuriwithaB (she/her)- sure! <link>

Spider-Man (he/they)- I’ll dm it to you and MJ and them, one sec! 

User#102736- So close… 

WandaMaximoff- Hahaha better luck next time, but you can have mine!

WandaMaximoff-

shuriwithaB (she/her)- u kinda look like mabel from gravity falls 

WandaMaximoff- Omg yeah! 

WandaMaximoff- I should cosplay her or be her for Halloween! 

Spider-Man (he/they)- You totally should! 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- ^^^

SteveRogers- Oh who’s that? 

James_Barnes- Cut the bullshit you love Gravity Falls.  

Captain MEE6 would like to remind @James_Barnes that the word [bullshit] is banned. 

SteveRogers- Why do you never let me have fun omfg Bucky.  

SteveRogers- You’re so mean.  

James_Barnes- I don’t care.  Suck it up buttercup.  

Spider-Man (he/they)- Oh my G-d no hate Mr. Barnes but I despise that phrase.  

Spider-Man (he/they)- When I was in high school all my teachers would say stuff like that (especially that phrase) and it bothered me so, so much. 

James_Barnes- Oop sorry.  

Spider-Man (he/they)- Who here went to college?? 

shuriwithaB- fuck college that’s colonizer shit 

I_Am_Ironman- Of course I went to college 

Rhodeybear added Rhodeybear to Avengers Assemble 

Rhodeybear- I met Tony at MIT   

Rhodeybear left Avengers Assemble 

Dr.BruceBanner- I did.   

Dr.Stephen_Strange- Obviously I did.  

Wasp- I went to college.  

TheFalcon- Me too ^^ 

Spider-Man (he/they)- I’m aware this is compromising my identity but how the fuck did you survive this shit sucks T-T 

Captain MEE6 would like to remind @Spider-Man (he/they)  that the word [ fuck ] is banned. 

Captain MEE6 would like to remind @Spider-Man (he/they) that the word [shit] is banned. 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Oh my G-d. 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- L 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- but also just drop out who cares 🙈😳💀

Spider-Man (he/they)- Lmfao I wish.  Also @shuriwithaB (she/her) I just added u so check Koala Cult rn 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- kk 

Koala Cult 

Petri Dish added shuriwithaB (she/her) to Koala Cult 

Petri Dish- aren’t i so cute???

Petri Dish-  

Harry Potter- omg yes 

nnnned- ooo send me the link 

Petri Dish- <link> 

Harry Potter- who’s @shuriwithaB (she/her)? 

sappho_reincarnate- my gf 

nnnned- the princess of wakanda 

Harry Potter- huh??

Harry Potter- and i just didn’t know???

Harry Potter- i was jsut unaware???

Harry Potter- yall didn’t deign to tell me???

nnnned- to be fair peter and i found out yesterday… 

Harry Potter- wtf @sappho_reincarnate??? 

sappho_reincarnate- no comment 

sappho_reincarnate- anyways just do the picrew and get off my ass 

Harry Potter- fine.  

nnnned- uh so this picrew doesn’t have settings for me… 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- or me… 

sappho_reincarnate- ^^^ 

Petri Dish- ahhh i’m sorry i didn’t realize should we all do a different one? 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- yeah hold up i’ll find one 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- <link> 

nnnned- ooo this one’s cute 

Nnnned-

sappho_reincarnate- it is 

sappho_reincarnate- 

Petri Dish- omg it’s adorable 

Petri Dish- 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- babe we’re matchy matchy

shuriwithaB (she/her)- 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- also there weren’t many hair options so i had to make do 

Petri Dish- @Harry Potter where’s yours???

Harry Potter- here u go 

Harry Potter- 

Petri Dish- omg so cute!!! also how did u get it to look exactly like u??? 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- it does look like u 

Harry Potter- how do u know what i look like…? 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- peter’s insta 

Harry Potter- cool cool 

Petri Dish- anyways i gotta go patrol ttyl

nnnned- stay safe ttyl! 

Harry Potter- stay safe babe xoxo

Petri Dish- aww ily xoxo

Harry Potter- love u more 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- are they always this sickeningly sweet? and stay safe peter! 

sappho_reincarnate- yes.  yes they are.  n stay safe loser.  

Chapter Text

Avengers Assemble

Wasp- I’m doing a poll, so please fill this out anonymously: 

Wasp- <link> 

Wasp- So you all are wrong, coffee is better than tea.  

Scottyscottscott- You are a dirty fucking liar stop the slander. 

Captain MEE6 would like to remind @Scottyscottscott that the word [fucking] is banned. 

Wasp- Okay we’re settling this right here right now.  

Wasp- Who thinks tea is better than coffee? This includes all variants such as bubble tea, breakfast teas, nighttime teas, frappuccinos, black coffee, lattes, etc. Say I.  

Spider-Man (he/they)- I 

THOR- I 

Dr.BruceBanner- I

Scottyscottscott- I 

WandaMaximoff- I 

V.I.S.I.O.N.- I 

King_T’Challa- I

Dr.Stephen_Strange- I 

snek (they/he)- I 

valkyrie- I 

Scottyscottscott- Who changed sides??? Now it’s even??? 

Wasp- Fuck.  

Captain MEE6 would like to remind @Wasp that the word [fuck] is banned. 

Scottyscottscott- Who can we ask?? 

Spider-Man (he/they)- We could ask MJ.  

Wasp- That’s Shuri’s girlfriend, right? 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- yea 

Scottyscottscott- That could work.  

Spider-Man (he/they) added sappho_reincarnate to Avengers Assemble 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- okok babe really important question.  

sappho_reincarnate- ? 

Wasp- Which is better, tea or coffee? This includes all variants like bubble tea, breakfast teas, nighttime teas, frappuccinos, black coffee, lattes, etc.  

sappho_reincarnate- i like tea more 

Wasp- … 

Scottyscottscott- HAHAHAHAHA I WIN TEA>>>> COFFEE

Rhodeybear added Rhodeybear to Avengers Assemble 

Rhodeybear- Why would you do that MJ.  Coffee gives life.  Coffee is life.  

sappho_reincarnate- sorry colonel rhodes :/ 

Rhodeybear :< 

I_Am_Ironman- Oh my god hi Rhodey!!!!!!!! 

Rhodeybear has left Avengers Assemble 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- skjkjsdbfksjdh 

Captain_Marvel- I’m really disappointed with your choice MJ, but I do appreciate your username.  

User#102736- ^ 

sappho_reincarnate- !! 

sappho_reincarnate- !!! 

Spider-Man (he/they)- I think you broke her.  

Spider-Man (he/they)- By the way, MJ, @User#102736 is the Black Widow.  

sappho_reincarnate- !!!!!! 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- if you couldn’t tell y’all are her icons.  the only thing that would make her day better would be slandering tony stark.  

I_Am_Ironman- Hey! What did I do? 

sappho_reincarnate- ...do you want to know? 

I_Am_Ironman- You know what I don’t think I do.  

shuriwithaB (she/her)- lmfao coward.  anyways it was nice seeing u in this server mj ttyl <3

shuriwithaB (she/her) removed sappho_reincarnate from Avengers Assemble 

TheFalcon- Wow harsh. 

TheFalcon- Also coffee is way better than stupid leaf water what the fuck.  

Captain MEE6 would like to remind @TheFalcon that the word [fuck] is banned. 

I_Am_Ironman- Can we please stop cursing this GIF is getting annoying.  

TheFalcon- You’re the one who set it up?? 

TheFalcon- You can change it??

I_Am_Ironman- Semantics.  

Chapter Text

Avengers Assemble 

James_Barnes- After the rousing debate from yesterday, I want to ask another question, because whatever y’all choose I will go rescue: cats or dogs.

James_Barnes- This is a little time sensitive I’m 15 minutes away from the shelter.  

Spider-Man (he/they)- !!!! 

Spider-Man (he/they)- dogs all the way!!

shuriwithaB (she/her)- uh no way cats>>>>> 

I_Am_Ironman- cats are better than dogs 

SteveRogers- Excuse me?? Dogs are man’s best friend.  Bucky if you don’t get a dog I’m going to cry.  

User#102376- Exactly.  Man’s best friend.  Cats are better than dogs. 

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- b-but what about lucky??? (btw dogs are better than cats) 

User#102376- Lucky is the only exception.  

Spider-Man (he/they)- Who is Lucky??? 

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- my dog :)

Spider-Man (he/they)- omg send send send 

James_Barnes- Okay but I’m 10 minutes away can you please help me figure it out: cats or dogs?? 

THOR- Dogs are wonderful companions, much more than cats!

snek (they/them)- cats

Dr.BruceBanner- cats 

King_T’Challa- I much prefer dogs.  

Dr.Stephen_Strange- I prefer cats, like my partner Loki.  

Scottyscottscott- Dogs are way better! 

Wasp- I like cats more. 

TheFalcon- Dogs. 

Rhodeybear added Rhodeybear to Avengers Assemble 

Rhodeybear- Dogs

Rhodeybear left Avengers Assemble 

WandaMaximoff- Cats 

V.I.S.I.O.N.- I don’t have a preference, so I’ll go with cats.  

Captain_Marvel- Dogs!! I actually have a dog.  She’s a border collie and her name is Blue :) 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Send pics please!! 

Captain_Marvel- Sure! I just have to find them! 

James_Barnes- Okok I wanna see all the dogs but we have a tie.  Who hasn’t responded?? 

James_Barnes- @valkyrie 

James_Barnes- @valkyrie which is better cats or dogs??? 

James_Barnes- @valkyrie I’m literally at a shelter 

valkyrie- cats 

valkyrie has left Avengers Assemble 

WandaMaximoff- 

V.I.S.I.O.N.- 

James_Barnes- Okay thank you I will be getting a cat.  

shuriwithaB (she/her)- yes!!!!

SteveRogers- Nooooooooo

Spider-Man (he/they)- Oh well.  Anyways!! I wanna meet Lucky and Blue!! @Captain_Marvel @Hawkeyeisthecoolest

Captain_Marvel- Sure!!  Here: 

Captain_Marvel- 

Spider-Man (he/they)- So cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SteveRogers- Awww 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- i’m in love. blue’s now my new best friend. 

Spider-Man (he/they)- I thought you didn’t like dogs? 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- no i just like cats more 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Ahhh makes sense. @Hawkeyeisthecoolest where’s Lucky??

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- here! 

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Omg so cute!!

TheFalcon- adorable 

SteveRogers- So Bucky got a cat.  

Steve Rogers- He got the meanest cat at the shelter… 

SteveRogers- Like he asked for the meanest cat at the shelter… 

shuriwithaB (she/sher): what a fucking mood 

Captain MEE6 would like to remind @shuriwithaB (she/her) that the word [fucking] is banned. 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- oh my god 

Spider-Man (he/him)- L 

James_Barnes- Alpine is the best cat I could ever want.  Wanna see??

User#102376- Yes.  

James_Barnes- 

User#102736- I love Alpine.  

shuriwithaB (she/her)- no offense but that cat is scary asf 

James_Barnes- thats the point… 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- mood 

James_Barnes- Also @SteveRogers what is taking you so long??? 

James_Barnes- Oh. 

WandaMaximoff- and you’re just gonna leave us like that??? 

WandaMaximoff- after that cliff hanger???

V.I.S.I.O.N.-

James_Barnes- Oh Steve just bought me flowers and burgers.  

shuriwithaB (she/her)- omfg what a king 

TheFalcon- … 

James_Barnes- @TheFalcon What you jealous? 

TheFalcon- So jealous.  

TheFalcon- I just want somebody to do that with :( 

snek (the/them)- imagine not having an amazing boyfriend could never be me 

WandaMaximoff- F 

WandaMaximoff- also @TheFalcon i can set you up with someone if you want 

TheFalcon- Nah it’s cool I’ll just stay lonely 

Dr.BruceBanner- mood 

Wasp- I love how that’s the first thing he’s said outside of like … roll call this entire time.  

V.I.S.I.O.N.- 

SteveRogers- I just want to say I love Bucky so much.  

James_Barnes- You’re just saying that because I gave you a blowjob but go off. 

Captain MEE6 would like to remind @James_Barnes that the word [blowjob] is banned.

Spider-Man (he/they)- I- 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- OOP- 

TheFalcon- HUH

I_Am_Ironman- TMI take it to the DMs.

SteveRogers- That’s not even why I love you.  I mean it’s nice and all but that wasn’t the reason.  

WandaMaximoff- Ooo what’s the reason?? 

SteveRogers- Oh a lot of things but this was prompted by he and Alpine already getting along.  They’re so sweet.  So I drew them: 

SteveRogers-  

WandaMaximoff- aww that’s adorable 

TheFalcon- love that 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Omg we love.  

BONUS: 

DM to Dr.Stephen_Strange

snek (she/her)- hey would u like to go on a date sometime

Dr.Stephen_Strange- Sure :)

Dr.Stephen_Strange-  What time/place?  

snek (she/her)- surprise me

snek (she/her)- but also the zoo would be cool

Dr.Stephen_Strange- Okay I'll let you know a time in a couple of minutes.  

snek (she/her)- xoxo

DM to User#102746

snek (she/her)- ur literally the best

User#102746- I know 

DM to Dr.Stephen_Strange

Dr.Stephen_Strange- Does 11am this Tuesday work? 

snek (she/her)- yes :P

Dr.Stephen_Strange- See you then! 

snek (she/her)- see u then xoxo

DM to THOR

Dr.Stephen_Strange- What are Loki's favorite flowers? 

THOR- Ah! Loki's suitor! 

THOR- Loki much enjoys tulips.  

Dr.Stephen_Strange- Thank you! 

DM to Dr. Christy <3

Dr.Stephen_Strange- SKJDEGBWIUWIRFSKJDFBKJDFBSKJFBAKJ

Dr. Christy <3- honey bunches u good?? 

Dr.Stephen_Strange- I have a date with LKJDBFWEOIFWKDJFB UGH I CANT SAY IT 

Dr. Christy <3- who???????

Dr. Christy <3- ... no 

Dr.Stephen_Strange- 😩😩😩 YES

Dr. Christy <3- HOW????

Dr. Christy <3- MISS MA'AM HOW???

Dr.Stephen_Strange- I DONT FUCKING KNOW 

Dr. Christy <3- SEND ME SS OR LIKE A PLAY BY PLAY 

Dr. Stephen_Strange- <image.jpg>

Dr. Stephen_Strange- <image.jpg>

Dr. Stephen_Strange- <image.jpg>

Dr. Christy <3- OMFG U GO GIRL

Chapter Text

Avengers Assemble 

User#102367- Quick question that will tell me everything I need to know about you:

Spider-Man (he/they)- Didn’t we already go over zodiac signs? 

User#102746- Yes this is not that.  

shuriwithaB (she/her)- is it our favorite song cause mine is line without a (hook) by ricky montgomery ft. mxmtoon

User#102746- No but good choice.  

James_Barnes- We already went over Hogwarts houses, coffee or tea, and cats or dogs.  What more do you need to know?? 

User#102746- The Question.

James_Barnes- No.  You can’t mean The Question.

Spider-Man (he/they)- ??????

Spider_Man (he/they)- What’s the question?? 

James_Barnes- The one that Tells All.  

Spider-Man (he/they)- So what is it??

User#102746- Which fictional character do you project onto? 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Oh G-d no. 

Spider-Man (he/they) has left Avengers Assemble 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- BAHAHAHAHAHA MOOD 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- but also no way im answering that 

shuriwithaB (she/her) has left Avengers Assemble 

User#102746 has added Spider-Man (he/they) , shuriwithaB (she/her)

User#102746- You will not leave.  Got it? 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Yes Ma’am.  

User#102746- Good.  Now who do you project onto? 

Spider-Man (he/they)- This is hella embarrassing but Harry Potter.  But like, fuck JKR.  

User#102746- I should have expected that.  

Spider-Man (he/they)- What no in depth psych eval? 

User#102746- ...I mean do you want one? 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Sure.  

User#102746- You’re a tired, tired protagonist and it feels like the world is on your shoulders.  Your parents are dead and you likely live with your aunt and uncle who you may or may not like.  There’s some childhood abuse or exploitation from an authority figure mixed in, the loss of a best friend, and you’re stupidly powerful.  Also you’re a chaotic bisexual and more than likely trans.  

WandaMaximoff- Wow.  

Spider-Man (he/they)- How the fuck did you know that?? 

Spider-Man (he/they)- That’s super spot on.  I gotta go patrol though! 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- take care and talk to you soon!! <3

User#102736- That was informative and I’m changing The Question. Real quick roll call: what Harry Potter character do you project onto?  

wadefuckingwilson has added wadefuckingwilson to Avengers Assemble

wadefuckingwilson- wow lookie looks lkie the autor rlly likes harry potter

wadefuckingwilson- who knew

wadefuckingwilson has left Avengers Assemble 

User#102746- Ignoring that.  

User#102746- Who wants to go first?  I don’t bite.  

James_Barnes- Yes you fucking do.  And I project onto Sirius Black. 

User#102746- You know this isn’t that fun since I already know all of you.  

shuriwithaB (she/her)- u don’t know me 

User#102746- Let me guess.  You project onto Ginny Weasley because of her relationship with Luna, badass character traits, and hopeless wlw energy. 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- you aren’t wrong why didn’t you pick hermione?

User#102746- She’s too straight.  

shuriwithaB (she/her)- lmao tru but also pansmione for life 

Captain_Marvel- You also don't know me.  

User#102746- As a kid you projected onto Hermione but now you relate most to Minerva McGonagall.  

Captain_Marvel- Very true. But can you guess my favorite character?  

User#102746- Remus Lupin

Captain_Marvel- Damn you’re good.  

User#102746- Of course.  Now.  Who’s next? 

I_Am_Ironman- You already did a psych eval on me so who do you pick? 

User#102746- James Potter.  Next.  

I_Am_Ironman- Wow okay who’s Lily? 

User#102746- … Pepper.  

I_Am_Ironman- I should have guessed.  

Rhodeybear added Rhodeybear to Avengers Assemble 

Rhodeybear- I’m Remus Lupin. Constantly tired and best friends with Tony.  

Rhodeybear has left Avengers Assemble 

User#102746- Gay.  

User#102746- Okay next.  

SteveRogers- Me? 

User#102746- Neville Longbottom.  

SteveRogers- Nice.  

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- me me memememe 

Spider-Man (he/they)- that one tiny fireboy with a tall lanky boyfriend 

User#102746- Yes.  Seamus Finnegan.  

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- Yessssssssssss wait whose teh Dean in dis sitiaton 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- oh god no what is that text @Spider-Man (he/they) @WandaMaximoff 

Spider-Man (he/they)- :( It hurts my soul. 

WandaMaximoff- He couldn’t even use ‘whose’ v ‘who’s’ correctly T-T. 

V.I.S.I.O.N.-

shuriwithaB (she/her)- BAHAHAHAHA NOT VISION USING A KYLO REN GIF IM CRYINGGG

Spider-Man (he/they)- I-

Spider-Man (he/they)- @V.I.S.I.O.N. a-are you a reylo shipper?? 

V.I.S.I.O.N.- What about it? 

WandaMaximoff- Babe.  No.  

snek (he/him)- what’s wrong with reylo

WandaMaximoff- We’ve lost a good one :(

shuriwithaB (she/her)- we did.  we did.  

snek (he/him)- i’m sorry did i hear the tomarry shipper say something? 

WandaMaximoff- how did you find out??? 

snek (he/him)- it’s not like i have published a tomarry fairytale fanfic

snek (he/him)- not at all 

WandaMaximoff- fuck off i have good writing.  

snek (he/him)- yes i do enjoy your 25k drarry lord voldemort wins au 

snek (he/him)- does not erase the harrymort (not snake face voldemort because you’re a coward) penpal au you’ve published

shuriwithaB (she/her)- oh wow how the turn tables have turned

shurwithaB (she/her)-  we may have different tastes, but at least none of us ship snarry or snamione

shuriwithaB (she/her)- or fucking snily

Captain MEE6 would like to remind @shuriwithaB (she/her) that the word [fucking] is banned.

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- what’s wrong with snily? 

WandaMaximoff- 😃😃😃

V.I.S.I.O.N.-  

User#102746- I am quite apologetic to admit this, but he isn’t kidding.  He actually does ship snily.  

shuriwithaB (she/her)- No.  Why.  

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- James the bully got the girl and Severus didn’t.  He deserved her more.   

Maria_Hill added Maria_Hill to Avengers Assemble 

Maria_Hill- Why

User#102746- Oh hi babe 

Maria_Hill- Hello darling. 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- i stan lesbians but are we just forgetting clints basically an incel sympathizer??

Maria_Hill- He has his… quirks. Tash and I just ignore him. 

WandaMaximoff- So we’re just supposed to ignore it?

User#102746- You know what I have a better idea.  Bye Clint.  

User#102746 has removed Hawkeyeisthecoolest from Avengers Assemble 

I_Am_Ironman- Okok you can’t do that.  

I_Am_Ironman has added Hawkeyeisthecoolest to Avengers Assemble 

I_Am_Ironman has banned [Snily] [Severus Snape] [Snarry] [Snamione] 

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- wiat why can't i say snily 

Captain MEE6 would like to remind @Hawkeyeisthecoolest that the word [snily] is banned. Further usage of the word will result in a temporary ban and then a permanent ban. 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- serves u right

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- oh my god why y’all are so sensitive it’s a great ship

I_Am_Ironman- No no nope no more talking of sn*ly.  

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- ugh fibne but this isn't over 

SteveRogers- How did you get that gif of me?? 

SteveRogers- Oh my word don't ignore me again. 

Chapter Text

Avengers Assemble 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- i’m making an avengers playlist so can everyone recommend 2 songs

Spider-Man (he/they)- Omg yes.  So 1 is Teen Idle by Marina and the Diamonds and then 2 is Dancing in the Dark (Put Your Head on My Shoulder) by REXXXX

shuriwithaB (she/her)- niceeeee 

I_Am_Ironman- Shoot to Thrill by AC/DC 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- old man.  but also good vibes.  next! 

SteveRogers- Absolutely anything by our queen Nicky Minaj.  

Spider-Man (he/they)- Captain America is a Barbz??? 

SteveRogers- Yeah, I have a stan twitter account for Nicki Minaj.  

WandaMaximoff- huh 

V.I.S.I.O.N.-

shuriwithaB (she/her)- okay moving on, wanda and vision what should i add?

V.I.S.I.O.N.- Saccharine by Jazmin Bean

WandaMaximoff- … 

WandaMaximoff- Yandere by Jazmin Bean 

Wanda Maximoff- Okok An Unhealthy Obsession by The Blake Robinson Synthetic Orchestra 

Spider-Man (he/they) - That’s a mouthful.  But also that song slaps.  

User#102746- Sometimes I can trick myself into thinking you’re old, but then you say something like that and I am viscerally reminded you are >25 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Hey! 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- my god do y’all get sidetracked.  

shuriwithaB (she/her)- next song! 

THOR- I much enjoy Call Me Maybe by the fair Carly Rae Jepsen.  

Spider-Man (he/they)- no <3

WandaMaximoff- omfg im crying 

V.I.S.I.O.N.- 

Dr.Stephen Strange- I'm partial to Le Carnaval des Animaux by Camille Saint-Saëns

shuriwithaB (she/her)- nerd but okay

James_Barnes- Troye Sivan and ABBA are pretty dope.  

shuriwithaB- that they are.  any specific songs? 

James_Barnes- Youth and Money, Money, Money.  

Spider-Man (he/they)- amazing choices.  

James_Barnes- Thank you, thank you.

Scottyscottscott- This is SUNMI and Red Velvet erasure.  

Scottyscottscott- Add Siren, Noir, and Gashina by SUNMI and Psycho, Russian Roulette, and Icecream Cake by Red Velvet. 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- remember when i said 2 songs??? but its cool i like it 

Scottyscottscott- Good.  

Wasp- So you’re just not gonna MOVE, Sexuality, and Heaven by TAEMIN??? 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- of course not ty for the additions 

Dr.BruceBanner- Cherry Bomb by The Runaways 

snek (he/they)- mother mother 

Spider-Man (he/they)- I could have guessed that.  But also yes I second that.  

shuriwithaB (she/her)- any specific mother mother songs?

snek (he/they)- you heathen 

snek (he/they)- add all of them 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Oh my G-d Shuri I can’t believe you. 

shuriwithaB (she/her)-

Spider-Man (he/they)- Some sins cannot be forgiven. 

snek (he/they)- ^^^

snek (he/they)- also @Spider-Man (he/they) i like your pronouns 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Aw thank you! They were on sale so I thought I’d get them :D

Maria_Hill- Very adorable interaction and I have a song to add. 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- yes yes yes???

Maria_Hill- Curious by Hayley Kiyoko and Jenny (I Wanna Ruin Our Friendship) by Studio Killers

shuriwithaB (she/her)- oh so you’re gay gay 

Maria_Hill- I mean yes?  I am dating @User#102746 so I think I’d better be gay. 

User#102746- I was summoned

Maria_Hill- Hey babe! 

User#102746- Hello <3

shuriwithaB (she/her)- natashalie what’s ur song addition? 

User#102746- bad idea! by girl in red and Can You Feel My Heart by Bring Me The Horizon

shuriwithaB (she/her)- great additions.  

shuriwithaB (she/her)- who’s left??

shuriwithaB (she/her)- @Hawkeyeisthecoolest @King_T’Challa @TheFalcon @Captain_Marvel and Valkyrie and Col. Rhodes

Hawkeyisthecoolest- Move by Luke Bryan 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- i refuse 

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- why?? 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- the only valid country music is women killing their husbands or taylor swift 

Spider-Man (he/they)- ^^

Spider-Man (he/they)- Also I googled that specific song and ew ew ew he’s lusting over a teenage girl. 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Fucking nasty. 

Captain MEE6 would like to remind @Spider-Man (he/they) that the word [fucking] is banned.

shuriwithaB (she/her)- EWWWWW

shuriwithaB (she/her)- ykw im gonna add it just so clint’s poor taste is memorialized forever

Spider-Man (he/they)- … okay fine

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- yall are so mean to me & 4 waht??? 

James_Barnes- Every time you send a message I die a little more inside. 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- MOVING ON

shuriwithaB (she/her)- @King_T’Challa @TheFalcon @Captain_Marvel and Valkyrie and Col. Rhodes what are your song additions????

Rhodeybear added Rhodeybear to Avengers Assemble 

Rhodeybear- How Bad Can I Be by Ed Helms and The Lorax Singers  

Rhodeybear has left Avengers Assemble 

Spider-Man (he/they)- NOOOOOO NOT THE SKSNDFJ NOT THE ONCELER

shuriwithaB (she/her)- normally ik what ur saying but wtf are u saying

Wanda_Maximoff- ^^^

Wanda_Maximoff- Does anyone know what he says??

V.I.S.I.O.N.- It’s ‘what he is saying,’ darling and while I know I cannot explain it to you it is too horrendous.  

shuriwithaB (she/her)- ????????? @Spider-Man (he/they)

Spider-Man (he/they)- I just.  I cannot inflict the pain of onecest upon you all.  

Spider-Man (he/they)- Tumblr (especially pre Dashcon) is a trip and not always a good one (see: onecest). 

Wanda_Maximoff- ????? 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- ykw i’m ok with not knowing something for once.  

shuriwithaB (she/her)- we’re still missing some people tho

shuriwithaB (she/her)- @King_T’Challa @TheFalcon @Captain_Marvel and Valkyrie literally just say a song and then i'll stop

King_T’Challa- I have a job, Shuri.  But @James_Barnes recently showed me a song I really enjoy: All Time Low by Jon Bellion

shuriwithaB (she/her)- that’s all i needed ty bye

King_T’Challa- Why are you so rude??  

King_T’Challa-

shuriwithaB (she/her)- smh ANYWAY @TheFalcon @Captain_Marvel and Valkyrie c’mon y’alllll pleeeeeeeaaaaaasssssssseeeeeee

Captain_Marvel- Why are you using southern contractions? But I pick all of Hozier.  

shuriwithaB (she/her)- Is this because I’m lesbian??

Captain_Marvel- What?? 

Spider-Man (he/they)- @Captain_Marvel It’s a reference to a vine where someone comes out as lesbian and their brother asks ‘I thought you were American.’ 

Captain_Marvel- Oh okay thank you! 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- smh but i do love your song choices so i will accept this 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- i don’t think valkyrie is gonna respond any time soon so all we need is @TheFalcon @TheFalcon 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- @TheFalcon 

TheFalcon- Oh my fucking God are you annoying.  

Captain MEE6 would like to remind @TheFalcon that the word [fucking] is banned.

TheFalcon- Anyways I pick Melanie Martinez

shuriwithaB (she/her)- a SONG or TWO not and ARTIST OMFG

TheFalcon-

James_Barnes- Who tagged me?? 

James_Barnes- Hello??

Chapter Text

Avengers Assemble

Spider-Man (he/they)- i can’t believe prince phillip died cause queen elizabeth wanted him to smash her wap one last time 

I_Am_Ironman- Hey kid, what the fuck

Captain MEE6 would like to remind @I_Am_Ironman that the word [fuck] is banned.

Spider-Man (he/they)- not a kid 

Spider-Man (he/they)- fuck off 

Captain MEE6 would like to remind @Spider-Man (he/they) that the word [fuck] is banned.

shuriwithaB (she/her)- why are y’all up so early aint it like 5:30 over seas 

Spider-Man (he/they)- i have school

Spider-Man (he/they)- lmfao 4th wall break 

Spider-Man (he/they)- i uh i haven’t slept yet

I_Am_Ironman- Wtf kid???

Spider-Man (he/they)- still not a kid 

Rhodeybear has added Rhodeybear to Avengers Assemble

Rhodeybear- Not like you’ve slept tones 

Rhodeybear has left Avengers Assemble

I_Am_Ironman- Shush Rhodey.  

I_Am_Ironman- But for real kid -- why haven’t you slept.  

Spider-Man (he/they)- I

Spider-Man (he/they)- Am 

Spider-Man (he/they)- NOT A KID I SWEAR TO G-D 

Spider-Man (he/they)- I know you don’t see it this way but as a trans man I already face so much infantilization like ‘oh you’re confused’ ‘oh you’re just a tom boy,’ or like that fucking uwu trans boi phase tumblr had.  It really sucks and it feels like you’re not respecting my boundaries or respecting me an adult who can make my own fucking decisions. 

Captain MEE6 would like to remind @Spider-Man (he/they) that the word [fucking] is banned.

shuriwithaB (she/her)- shut up mee6 but alsp preach! 

I_Am_Ironman- I’m sorry.  I see how it was me overstepping your boundaries and invalidating your maturity, and I won’t do it again.  

User#102746- Pepper wrote that for you, didn’t she.  

I_Am_Ironman- I write my own apologies Nat -_-

Wasp- @Spider-Man (he/they) I just wanna know what you were thinking when you said, “i can’t believe prince phillip died cause queen elizabeth wanted him to smash her wap one last time” 

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- Yeah it’s mad disrespect since he died u gotta have R.E.S.P.E.C.T. for the dead. 

Captain_Marvel- Hey this is Mom’s daughter Monica, and I wanted to ask Hawkeye why the FUCK did you slander Aretha Franklin’s good name by lopping her song in with that OG fucking colonizer Prince Phillip. 

Captain MEE6 would like to remind @Captain_Marvel that the word [fuck] is banned.

Captain MEE6 would like to remind @Captain_Marvel that the word [fucking] is banned.

Spider-Man (he/they)- Michelle would also like to add on you used ‘mad’ in the wrong way -- it’s ‘mad disrespectful’ 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- not me listening to a white man praise a colonizer.  fuck that i’m gonna spit on his grave

Captain MEE6 would like to remind @shuriwithaB (she/her) that the word [fuck] is banned.

Steve_Rogers- Okay but literally fuck the British, why is this a debate??

Captain MEE6 would like to remind @Steve_Rogers that the word [fuck] is banned.

I_Am_Ironman- You all make good points but I’m sick of MEE6 and the language thing I’m gonna remove it

Wanda_Maximoff- Noooooooo I love Captain MEE6 with all my heart 

V.I.S.I.O.N.-

I_Am_Ironman- Too bad so sad that control is gone now 

I_Am_Ironman- But there are other commands for sn*ly, and a few Easter eggs no one has gotten yet.  

TheFalcon- I hadn’t realized this server was so empty.  Like I joined a POC veterans server and wow is this one blank as fuck.  I hadn’t realized this server was so empty.  

I_Am_Ironman- I could literally care less about that.  Unless some other people want mod powers I’m not setting anything else up. 

Spider-Man (he/they)- If you give me mod powers I can fix some stuff up

I_Am_Ironman- You know what sure.  Here. 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Okay tysm! I’ll be here with some actual channels and roles and stuff in a bit :D 

WandaMaximoff- While y’all are busy, I wanna know who here has pinterest.  

WandaMaximoff- If you do say your username 

WandaMaximoff- RedRubyRainbow 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- shuriwithab

shuriwithaB (she/her)- Also sorry @Spider-Man (he/they) I just unfollowed you so they couldn’t find you that way. 

Spider-Man (he/they)- dw its cool

snek (she/her)- snek09

WandaMaximoff- Shuri I love your Dark Academia boards!! And Loki your celebration fits are so cool I love them. 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- ahhh tysm!

snek (she/her)- of course they are peasant 

WandaMaximoff- Smh I try to be nice and this is what I get

V.I.S.I.O.N.-

THOR- Do not fret Lady Maximoff for this is how my sister showcases her true affection! By referring to you with words such as ‘peasant,’ she is conveying deep fondness!

snek (she/her)- literally fuck off no one asked

WandaMaximoff- Thank you Thor! Also does anyone else have a Pinterest??

Dr.BruceBanner- My pinterest is Dr.BruceBanner1

WandaMaximoff- I love your boards!! Especially the different tea ones -- very calming. 

V.I.S.I.O.N.- 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- @Spider-Man (he/they) you would love his science memes board

Spider-Man (he/they)- i’ll check them out in a bit! 

Scottyscottscott- I have a Pinterest! It’s Narnia. 

WandaMaximoff- Wait I love this.  

V.I.S.I.O.N.-

Wasp- Why?? He literally only makes Narnia boards.  

WandaMaximoff- ITS COOL FUCK YOU 

V.I.S.I.O.N.-

Wasp- Well damn I touched a nerve 

Maria_Hill- My pinterest is squishmallow22

Maria_Hill- I don’t use it all that often though.  

WandaMaximoff- I still love and appreciate it.  

WandaMaximoff- I think that’s everyone though.  I don’t see like ,,, James or Sam having a Pinterest 

James_Barnes- Fuck you, but fair.  

TheFalcon- Ew we agree on something 

James_Barnes- I swear to G-d Sam

Spider-Man (he/they)- I have an announcement!

WandaMaximoff- yes yes yes 

V.I.S.I.O.N.- 

Spider-Man (he/they)- I have now fixed it all (for the most part). 

Spider-Man (he/they)- We have #General which is the General chat, we have #Fun-Announcements which is for fun/lighthearted/positive announcements and #Avengers-Announcements which is for things like calls, attacks, etc.  That is restricted to just me, Mr. Stark, and Mr. Rogers for now.  DM if you want the perms for that.  We also have a #VC channel (voice chat), a #VC-Talk (a voice chat talk channel), #Music, #Social-Media, #Memes, #Movie-Night, #Polls, and #Spam.  Let me know if you want anything like that.  If I have time this weekend I’ll make emojis, and there are still some MEE6 Easter eggs so have fun with that.  

Spider-Man (he/they) has pinned (1) message to #General

shuriwithaB (she/her)- very cool, very cool.  

Wasp- Oh I like it!  It’s a lot less empty :)

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- wow thats so much text I Don’t wanna read that

Spider-Man (he/they)- Then don’t <3

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- hey! Rude! 

User#102746- Clint shut up

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- Oh my gOD what did I do to ever desreve thsi istg

Chapter Text

Avengers Assemble 

#Spam 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Murder spouses is my ideal relationship dynamic no I don’t take critisism.  

User#102746- I don’t disagree but I have a concern.  

Spider-Man (he/they)- No <3

User#102746- Fair.  

User#102746- What brought this on? 

Spider-Man (he/they)- I just binge-watched Hannibal and I’m gonna start Killing Eve. 

Dr.BruceBanner- Good taste

Spider-Man (he/they)- Dr. Banner!!!! 

Spider-Man (he/they)- What do you like most about the shows??

Dr.BruceBanner- The camera angles and the symbolism, to go insultingly brief.  

Spider-Man (he/they)- What? You don’t project onto characters like I do? Who knew?? /j 

Dr.BruceBanner- My aro/ace self could never 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Ah, makes sense. To be fair I’m also disgustingly romantic, so there’s that.  

Captain_Marvel- Aren’t all allo avengers disgustingly romantic? 

WandaMaximoff- Hush 

V.I.S.I.O.N.- 

THOR- I do believe that Loki is the most romantic of us all! 

snek (she/her)- shut the fuck up 

THOR- Cruel words shan’t dissuade me from speaking the truth! 

Dr.Stephen_Strange- He isn’t wrong. You are very sweet. 

Wasp- Uh oh 

snek (she/her)- i’m going to slit your throat you cunt 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- hot 

scum.of.the.earth- Aw come on Loki you know it was a compliment. 

scum.of.the.earth- What did you do to my nickname???

snek (she/her)- pt 1 of my revenge 

I_Am_Ironman- Okay I know this is a spam channel but could we move this to #General or something? 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- doing anything you tell me to would give me hives 

King_T’Challa- No it wouldn’t. 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- yes it would 

King_T’Challa- No it wouldn’t. 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- yes it would 

King_T’Challa- No it wouldn’t. 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- yes it would 

King_T’Challa- No it wouldn’t. 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- yes it would 

User#102746 has muted shuriwithaB (she/her) and King_T’Challa

User#102746- There. Peace. 

Koala Cult 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- @Petri Dish unmute me bitch

shuriwithaB (she/her)- @Petri Dish literally unmute me 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- @Petri Dish pleeeeeeaaaaasssseee

shuriwithaB (she/her)- @Petri Dish 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- @Petri Dish 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- @Petri Dish 

Petri Dish- Oh my fucking G-d here you go 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- 

Avengers Assemble

#Spam 

Spider-Man (he/they) has unmuted shuriwithaB (she/her) 

Spider-Man (he/they)- So sorry, but Shuri was being annoying on a different server. 

#General 

TheFalcon- So I saw y’all were talking about Hannibal…

TheFalcon- I’m just gonna 

TheFalcon- @James_Barnes 

James_Barnes- Why’d you ping me

TheFalcon- Literally backread two messages back what the fuck

James_Barnes- No.  Why’d you ping me

TheFalcon- Stop being obstinate 

James_Barnes- Someone’s overcompensating.  But fine.  Istg

James_Barnes- OH

TheFalcon- There it is 

James_Barnes- HANNIBAL

User#102746- Why sam why 

James_Barnes- I LOVE THAT SHOW

SteveRogers- Now you’ve done it 

James_Barnes- ITS SHITTY THINGS HAPPENING TO SOMEONE ELSE FOR ONCE 

James_Barnes- AND THE EYE CANDY OH MY GOD THEY’RE ALL SO HOT 

TheFalcon- @User#102746 Why’d you make my name lowercase I know you have cap locks on

User#102746- To show disrespect <3

James_Barnes- MADS MIKKELSEN IS SUCH A MILF 

TheFalcon- Fair 

James_Barnes- AND HUGH DANCY IS THE HOTTEST MAN IVE EVER SEEN 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- I’m gonna do it 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Don’t you dare 

James_Barnes- ALSO WHOEVER MADE THOSE FIGURINES OF THE BODIES IS SO COOL

Fannibal- LIKE THE MUSHROOMS?? THE ANGLE MAKER??? CHEFS KISS

Fannibal- spEAKING OF CHEFS KISS

Fannibal- Hey who changed my name 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Sorry it was shuri I’ll change it back 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- u bitch don’t take a page out of natashalies book

shuriwithaB (she/her)- i deserve respect 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Fine Shuri

shuriwithaB (she/her)- and order has been restored to the universe

Dr.BruceBanner- I wanted to hear what @James_Barnes had to say 

James_Barnes- … really? Everyone else thinks it’s annoying haha

Dr.BruceBanner- !!!!! I love it !!!!!!

Dr.BruceBanner- I WILL MARRY YOU ISTG

TheFalcon- @James_Barnes omfg I don’t I think it’s endearing

James_Barnes- And that’s why you’re my best friend 

James_Barnes- But because we’re best friends

James_Barnes- I have to do this

TheFalcon- no

James_Barnes- wow endearing is a big word are you overcompensating?

TheFalcon- istg

James_Barnes- Love you too

James_Barnes- Anyways where was I??

James_Barnes- I LVOE YOU BRUCE 

Dr.BruceBanner- <3 <3

Spider-Man (he/they)- We need a marriage bot

Spider-Man (he/they)- One sec

Spider-Man (he/they)- Okay here we go #Mawwage

#Mawwage 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Okay here’s how you marry: 

Spider-Man (he/they)- ~marry @shuriwithaB (she/her)

Sunnie [bot]- 

@Spider-Man (he/they) has proposed!! 

To accept this proposal, type '~marry @Spider-Man (he/they)'.

shuriwithaB (she/her)- ~marry @Spider-Man (he/they

Sunnie [bot]- Congratulations to @Spider-Man (he/they) and @shuriwithaB (she/her) — the newly weds!!

James_Barnes- Wonderful

James_Barnes- ~marry @Dr.BruceBanner

Sunnie [bot]- 

@James_Barnes has proposed!! 

To accept this proposal, type '~marry @James_Barnes'.

Dr.BruceBanner- ~marry @James_Barnes 

Sunnie [bot]-  Congratulations to @James_Barnes and @Dr.BruceBanner — the newly weds!!

Spider-Man (he/they)- Cute.  

#General- 

SteveRogers- Oh my God Bucky you know I didn’t mean it like that

James_Barnes- Nope I don’t wanna hear it

Wasp- Did anyone watch the new movie that just came out? 

Wasp- It was like Drowning With You or something 

SteveRogers- Please don’t ignore me you know I love listening to you be excited

Scottyscottscott- @Wasp I did! 

SteveRogers- Buckyyyy

Wasp- I know you did Scott we literally went together

Wasp- I was asking everyone else

SteveRogers- Darlinggggg

SteveRogers- Sweethearttttt

Spider-Man (he/they)- Me, MJ, and a third friend all went together last weekend! I thought it was pretty good.  

shuriwithaB (she/her)- oh my god you took my girlfriend out on a date??

SteveRogers- Fine I’ll admit it -- I am a little jealous of Hugh Dancy with how you talk about him 

snek (she/her)- I watched it too it was fine

THOR- High praise, dear sister! 

The Cool Avengers

#yadayadayada 

Biderman- YALL DID YOU SEE STEVE

shuriwithaB- I KNOW IM DYINGGG

Fannibal- BITCH ME TO I DIDNT THINK HED ADMIT IT 

unclesam- IM SCREECHING THIS IS TOO FUNNY 

Fannibal- wow you changed my nickname here dedication

Fannibal- buT ANYWAYS 

Fannibal- IM CACKLING 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- BRO SAME

Witchbitch- Wait what did I miss?? 

S.I.M.P.- Check #General in Avengers Assemble (you’ll have to scroll a little)

Witchbitch- Ty babe 

Witchbitch- OH MY GOD

Witchbitch- DID YALL SEE THE MOST RECENT MESSAGE?? 

Biderman- No i’m onpatrol what happened??

Witchbitch- HE SAID ITS HIS INFERIORITY COMPLEX AND EVERYTHING SKDNFKJSDFKAJS

Fannibal- IM SCRESAMING   THIS IS SO FUCJING FUNNY

shuriwithaB (she/her)- SOMEONE NEEDS TO STOP HIM I CAN'T 

S N A K E (she/her)- not it 

User#102746- Not it 

unclesam- Not it

Biderman- i’ll do it 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- nonono you’re on patrol someone else needs to do it 

Witchbitch- okay fine i’ll do it 

unclesam- god bless 

Avengers Assemble

#General

SteveRogers- And I know it’s from pre-serum days but also Hugh Darcy has that whole twink vibe -- maybe you liked me more then?? I dunno I just get all jealous when you talk about them.  

WandaMaximoff- Dude this is so embarrassing I’m gonna stop you here 

SIMPSIMPSIMP- What?? 

SIMPSIMPSIMP-  Why’d you change my name?? 

SIMPSIMPSIMP- Okay I may know a lot of things but what’s a simp??

James_Barnes- You.  

James_Barnes- You are a simp

Chapter Text

Avengers Assemble 

#General

scum.of.the.earth- Can someone please help me with changing my nickname I can’t do it, and it’s very frustrating,  

snek (he/him)- no 

THOR- Worry not! I will help you! 

Boomer- Ah thank you

Boomer- Wait what???? 

snek (he/him)- SKDJFHSKDFKJ ILY THOR 

THOR- And I as well, dear brother.  

SIMPSIMPSIMP- Also idk how to change my name either and i don’t like it 

Spider-Man (he/they)- No <3 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- ywk we need a nickname for thsi server ‘avengers assemble’ is too much work 

WandaMaximoff- Avengers gc? 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- no still too long 

WandaMaximoff- Agg? 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- *perfect* 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- actually 

agg- i love this so much 

agg- someone else join me 

Spider-Man (he/they)- okay sure!

Agg- there you go! 

agg- ew why’d u capitalize it 

Agg- to tell us apart 

agg- wimp 

agg- anyways someone else needs to join us 

User#102746- alright 

aGg- there you go 

agg- ughhh everyone’s capitalizing to tell us apart 

agg- lame 

agg- smart** 

agg- omg who are u 

agg- who knows 

agg- i can literally see your icon ik it’s u loki 

agg- hush mortal 

Agg- Oh my g-d 

I_Am_Ironman- This is too complicated 

aGg- You just don’t appreciate the aggpocalypse 

I_Am_Ironman- That’s it I’m banning agg 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Oml don’t tell him

I_Am_Ironman- Tell me what 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Nothingggg

Koala Cult 

sappho_reincarnate- y’all guess what the most profitable digital art is 

Harry Potter- p0rn 

nnnned- yeah probably porn 

sappho_reincarnate- well yes but what KIND of porn 

Harry Potter- idk something rlly gross

sappho_reincarnate- any onther guesses? 

nnnned- onther 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- onther 

sappho_reincarnate- oml fuck off 

sappho_reincarnate- stop derailing the conversation 

sappho_reincarnate- guess 

Petri Dish- furry porn? 

sappho_reincarnate-

nnnned- WHAT

nnnned- HOW DID PETER GUESS 

nnnned- HE DIDNT KNOW WHAT A TESTICLE WAS 

Petri Dish- FUCK OFF THAT WAS IN FOURTH GRADE 

Petri Dish- HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW 

nnnned- SKDJFHSKDJFKH IDK BUT IT WAS WEIRD 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- okayyyy 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- anyways @sappho_reincarnate whyd u bring that up

sappho_reincarnate- because im gonna make furry art? 

sappho_reincarnate- duh 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- … 

Petri Dish- … 

Harry Potter- … 

nnnned- … 

sappho_reincarnate- oh fuck off its a good idea

shuriwithaB (she/her)- how???

sappo_reincarnate- i’m broke and i can draw therefore i will make as much money as possible idc about my pride 

Petri Dish- I mean it makes sense 

sappho_reincarnate- thank you peter 

Petri Dish- yw uwu

shuriwithaB (she/her)- u actually use ‘uwu’???

Harry Potter- nope nope nope this convo was banned end of story moving on

Petri Dish- skdjfhskdjfh aw u love me 

Petri_Dish- anyways i gotta go on patrol byeeee

Harry Potter- bye! love u lots!

nnnned- bye! stay safe!

sappho_reincarnate- stay safe loser 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- bye peter :D

The Cool Avengers 

#yadayadayada 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- yall im bored 

Fannibal- would it kill you to use an apostrophe? 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- yes 

Fannibal- 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- rude 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- anywyas im still broed entertain me 

Fannibal- broed 

unclesam- that sounds like breeding bros 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- NO 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- EW 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- @Witchbitch save meeeeee 

Witchbitch- omg i’m here what do u need sweetie

shuriwithaB (she/her)- @Fannibal and @unclesam are being mean :(

Witchbitch- ty for letting me know i’m gonna go talk to them :)

shuriwithaB (she/her)- :D 

Witchbitch- okay problem solved! 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- :D!! 

Fannibal- Sorry Shuri

unclesam- Sorry Shuri

shuriwithaB (she/her)- its ok 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- but u both need to entertain me 

unclesam- whyyyyyyy

Witchbitch- :)

S.I.M.P.- :)

unclesam- okok fine 

unclesam- want some ff recs?  

shuriwithaB- ofc! what fandom? 

unclesam- hold up ill dm u 

Fannibal- Oh my G-d is everyone allergic to fucking apostrophes?? 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- yes 

S N A K E (he/him)- yes

User#102746- yes 

unclesam- yes

Biderman- maybe? 

S N A K E (he/him)- why would you ruin the chain

Biderman- sorry!!! 

S N A K E (he/him)- as you should be 

S N A K E (he/him)- peasant 

S N A K E (he/him)- why arent u responding 

S N A K E (he/him)- ???

shuriwithaB (she/her)- he’s on patrol

S N A K E (he/him)- ah

S N A K E (he/him)- acceptable 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- now im gonna be busy for the foreseeable future reading fanfiction

shuriwithaB (she/her)- its gonna be great

Fannibal- it's literally 

Fannibal- just

Fannibal- one key 

Fannibal- please for the love of everything good use apostrophes 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- no <3

Avengers Assemble 

#General 

Rhodeybear has added Rhodeybear to Avengers Assemble 

Rhodeybear- Wow everything is so different 

Wasp- Yeah @Spider-Man (he/they) got moderation permissions and changed some things up 

Scottyscottscott- you could’ve just said mod perms 

Scottyscottscott- -_-

Wasp- I’m too cool for that 

Scottyscottscott- You literally watch MLP and cried multiple times 

Wasp- You know that’s because I’m pregnant 

Wasp- Bitch 

Scottyscottscott- Understandable 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- WAIT UR PREGNANT CONGRATS 

Fannibal- I thought you were reading fanfiction and were too busy for us 

Fannibal- But congratulations Hope, that’s amazing!

I_Am_Ironman- Congrats Hope! 

I_Am_Ironman- And when did Shuri say she was reading fanfiction? 

Fannibal- different server 

I_Am_Ironman- That I’m not in?? 

Fannibal- Yes 

THOR- This is a time for much celebration, congratulations Lady Hope! I wish you and your baby a healthy term! 

SIMPSIMPSIMP- What Thor said! 

Wasp- Thank you all! But I cannot take Steve seriously with that name it’s hilarious 

SIMPSIMPSIMP- Unfortunately I don’t know how to change it, so it’ll have to stay this way.  

Fannibal- Simp

Rhodeybear left Avengers Assemble 

Chapter Text

Koala Kult 

sappho_reincarnate- fuck you harry

sappho_reincarnate has permabanned Harry Potter from Koala Kult 

sappho_reincarnate- that’s for cheating on peter 

sappho_reincarnate- bitch 

Petri Dish- hey u didn’t have to do that

sappho_reincarnate- damn right i did 

sappho_reincarnate- next time we see him ned’s gonna beat his fucking ass and i’ll film it all 

nnnned- damn right i will

sappho_reincarnate- <33

Petri Dish- i

Petri Dish- i do appreciate it. i’m just idk 

Petri Dish- i thought he was different, yk? i won’t get into it all over text but we can have a sleepover and i can cry and shit 

nnnned- dude yes 

nnnned- your place or mine?

sappho_reincarnate- yours 

sappho_reincarnate- obviously 

nnnned- okay show up whenever and we can cry and watch mean girls 

Petri Dish- i love u all sm 

sappho_reincarnate- we love u too loser 

Avengers Assemble 

#General 

TheFalcon- How’s everyone doing? 

THOR- I am doing quite well! 

Spider-Man (he/they)- duck you 

Spider-Man (he/they)- **fuck 

Spider-Man has left Avengers Assemble 

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- What cralled up his bonnet??

Wasp- Oh my god that spelling of crawled makes me want to crawl into my casket.  

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- stfy pretntious 

Wasp-

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- No but frfr whats wrong w/ spiderdude 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- oh his boyfriend cheated on him so now they’re over

User#102746- what’s his boyfriends name? 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- i would tell you if it wasn’t literally in the news

shuriwithaB (she/her)- i want him dead too lol

WandaMaximoff- chop off his balls 

Captain_Marvel- Uh I think I know who Spider-Man is then… 

I_Am_Ironman- Yeah… 

User#102746- All I had to do was google ‘celeb breakup scandal’ and they were on the front page… 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- fuck.  i forgot osborns are like lowkey celebs

DrBruceBanner- You forgot the OSBORNS were celebrities???

shuriwithaB (she/her)- literally stfu plant man 

Scottyscottscott- did someone call for me?? 

Wasp- No dumbass.  Anyways this is awkward 

Wasp- How’s Spider-Man doing though? 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- well mj said he was blasting ain’t shit by doja cat while crying and doing his makeup, so now they’re having a sleepover  

TheFalcon- Okay iconic, but also who’s up for some ‘kick the Goblin’s kid’? 

TheFalcon- everyone agreement say hell yeah 

WandaMaximoff- HELL FUCKING YEAH

V.I.S.I.O.N.-

snek (he/he)- hel yeah from me and thor both 

THOR- Yes!!  

User#102746- Hell yes. 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- is that even a question??? hell yeah!

I_Am_Ironman- Okok no we can’t do that. 

Fannibal- Why the fuck not. 

I_Am_Ironman- It’s drama not an alien invasion. 

Fannibal- ...It could be.  You never know. 

I_Am_Ironman- N. O.  End of discussion. 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- and this is why i’m the genius 

Rhodeybear has added Rhodeybear to Avengers Assemble

Rhodeybear- gonna have to agree with Shuri on this one

Rhodeybear left Avengers Assemble

I_Am_Ironman- Oh my god betrayal. 

The Cool Avengers 

#yadayadayada 

unclesam- so we all agree that tony’s decision was stupid, right? 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- ofc 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- wait actually can i add spidey’s best friends for a quick second 

Witchbitch- go for it! 

shuriwithaB (she/her) has added sappho_reincarnate , nnnned to The Cool Avengers 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- okay hey @sappho_reincarnate and @nnnned this is a group chat of me, spiderman, black widow, wanda maximoff, her robo boyfriend, the falcon, loki, and the winter soldier (or the white wolf)

shuriwithaB (she/her)- right now we’re planning osborne jr’s death, you up for it? 

sappho_reincarnate- abso-fucking-lutely i am 

nnnned- yesss

nnnned- i mean this isn’t legal, so will working with the avengers give me immunity cause i wanna keep my job and shit 

User#102746- probably 

sappho_reincarnate- hi ms. black widow!!

shuriwithaB (she/her)- simp 

S.I.M.P.- Someone called? 

Witchbitch- Aw not you babe, she’s talkign about MJ

Witchbitch- *talking 

Biderman- What’s going on 

Biderman- Oh my G-d you guys can’t do that it’s just a breakup 

Biderman- And now everyone knows my identity???????

Biderman- What the fuck this is a mess

Avengers Assemble 

#general 

Spider-Man (he/they) has added Spider-Man 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Well this is a little awkward… 

TheFalcon- No shit Sherlock 

scum.of.the.earth- You called? 

TheFalcon- Oh my god you don’t even look like Benedict Cumberbatch stfu about it 

Spider-Man (he/they)- I feel like this conversation is getting derailed.  Are y’all like this about every breakup????

User#102746- Well the last breakup was Tony and Pepper and they’re back together so… 

Spider-Man (he/they)- I see why Avengers are afraid to break up this is too much

Spider-Man (he/they)- ‘Family’ is messy but y’all took that and ran skjdfhskdfj we aren’t even family. Hell I’m barely friends wih half of u all 

Spider-Man (he/they)- with**

shuriwithaB (she/her)- and i thought we had something istg

Spider-Man (he/they)- I’m obviously not talking about you or anyone in the other server omfg

shuriwithaB (she/her)- good i was about to be really offended 

I_Am_Ironman- There’s a server without me?? 

Fannibal- well duh it’s called the cool avengers

TheFalcon- snitch 

WandaMaximoff- Literally stfu i thought it was supposed to be a secret TuT 

I_Am_Ironman- I’m not cool????

shuriwithaB (she/her)- no

Spider-Man (he/they)- No

Fannibal- nope

TheFalcon- no, duh 

WandaMaximoff- absolutely not 

I_Am_Ironman- I’m so hurt??? Offended???

Rhodeybear has added Rhodeybear to Avengers Assemble 

Rhodeybear- You need to accept you’re past your prime Tony.  And if I’m being honest, you were never cool.  

Rhodeybear has left Avengers Assemble 

I_Am_Ironman- … 

Fannibal- SKJHSJKFHJSKJFJKH OH MY G-D 

snek- he read you to FILTH oh gods how does that feel??? 

Spider-Man (he/they)- I”M CRYING GGGG

I_Am_Ironman- This isn’t funny

shuriwithaB (she/her)- oh yes it is, oh yes it is 

WandaMaximoff- tears are streaming down my face.  that’s also probably cause i’m on my period but i am crying 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- such a mood TuT

I_Am_Ironman- The vibes in this house are making me super duper uncomfy 

I_Am_Ironman- That’s what you kids say, right? 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- ew no 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- anyways anyone have anything interesting to share? 

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- um yes i absolutely do 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- anyone else besides him? 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- ...fine what do u wanna say clint 

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- i just found out natasha has like a family??? A mom and a dad and a sister??? What madness is this???? 

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- Actually I’m gonna add the sister in here rn 

Hawkeyeisthecoolest has added Yelena <3 to Avengers Assemble 

Hakeyeisthecoolest- Welcome @Yelena <3 !!

Yelena <3- what is this. 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- the ‘avengers’ groupchat.  we should all probably introduce ourselves 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- i’m shuri. tech genius and princess of wakanda

shuriwithaB (she/her)- and this is my brother @King_T’Challa 

Yelena <3- cool nice to meet you 

I_Am_Ironman- Obviously you know who I am, so no introductions necessary.  

Yelena <3- … i will have to google you but thank you i guess.

THOR- I am Thor, God of Thunder! And my brother Loki is here too! 

snek (they/them)- sibling

THOR- My apologies, that’s my sibling Loki.  

Spider-Man (he/they)- Hey! I’m Spider-Man but you can just call me Peter since apparently everyone in this goddamn motherfucking world knows my identity.  

shuriwithaB (she/her)- don’t mind him he’s getting over a break up and an identity reveal

Yelena <3- ah makes sense.  nice to meet you peter! 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Likewise :D

SIMPSIMPSIMP- I’m Captain America, but you can call me Steve.  

Yelena <3- … why’s your name SIMPSIMPSIMP

James_Barnes- That would be because we’re dating and he’s a simp. 

Yelena <3- valid 

Yelena <3- also most of you are pretty self explanatory i don’t need an introduction for everyone haha. i would like one for @scum.of.the.earth and @Scottyscottscott though 

scum.of.the.earth- I’m Dr. Stephen Strange and I apologize, I can’t figure out how to change my nickname after Loki changed it

Yelena <3- oh rip 

Scottyscottscott- And I’m Antman haha

User#102746- what the fuck is going on

Yelena <3- omg hi nat <333

User#102746- … 

Yelena <3- i love the whole ‘random user’ aesthetic you’ve got going on, it’s very hmm how do you say it 

Yelena <3- emo

Spider-Man (he/they)- SKJHFKJSFJK 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- LMAO 

WandaMaximoff- I love her already 

 snek (they/them)- amazing incredible show stopping never seen before 

WandaMaximoff- There’s a GIF for that, you know 

V.I.S.I.O.N.-

snek (they/them)- i know i just don’t care 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- biconic  

shuriwithaB (she/her)- **iconic

shuriwithaB (she/her)- still fits lol

Yelena <3- wait is everyone here gay?? 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- we are pretty gay.  we have at least 5 lesbians and 7 bi people 

Yelena <3- i love that

Yelena <3- i’m your local bitchy aro/ace lady 

Yelena <3- 

User#102746- Oh my god you have gifs of yourself?? I’m telling Melinda 

Yelena <3- Stfu it’s cool go cry to MCR 

James_Barnes- this is the best thing that’s ever happened to me

SIMPSIMPSIMP- I would be hurt if I didn’t agree so much this is hilarious 

Yelena <3- OH MY GOD SHE”S HITITING ME FUCK YOU I KNOW YOUR COMPHET CRUSH IS GERARD WAY NATALIA 

User#102746- FUCK YOU YELENA I KNOW YOU HAD A CRUSH ON THE INVISIBLE GUY FROM THAT VAMPIRE MOSNTER MOVIE FRANCHISE

Yelena <3- FUCK YOU TOO

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- Well they’re both dead… 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- SKFHSJFKKJSFJSHJFHJKS 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Oh my G-d this is so fucking funny 

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- If I wanted to die I would go check on them it doesn’t sound like they’re okay 

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- You know what would be a hilarious idea? Adding Natasha’s dad to this 

Hawkeyeisthecoolest has added Alexie099 to Avengers Assemble 

Yelena <3- I’m going to kill you eagle eye boy scout motherfucker 

User#102746- seconded 

Alexie099- wahts giong on

Chapter Text

Spider-Man (he/they)- ITS SPOOKY SEASON EVERYBODY 

Yelena <3- SPOOKY SEASON 

V.I.S.I.O.N.- 

WandaMaximoff- OMG YEAH SPOOKY SEASON

Scottyscottscott- SPOOKY SEASON

Spider-Man (he/they)- omg shuriiiiii where are youuuu 

Spider-Man (he/they)- it’s spooky season where are youuuuu

Spider-Man (he/they)- omfg @shuriwithaB where tf are you??

shuriwithaB (she/her)- spidey…..

shuriwithaB (she/her)- did you happen to forget….

shuriwithaB (she/her)- that i…..

shuriwithaB (she/her)- am not american……

Spider-Man (he/they)- and neither is wanda?? 

Spider-Man (he/they)- everyone can enjoy spooky season 

Spider-Man (he/they)- sobbie

I_Am_Ironman- That reminds me of the annual Stark Halloween bash.  

I_Am_Ironman- You will all be here, with a costume preferably. 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Sure. 

SIMPSIMPSIMP- Sounds great! 

THOR- Why of course Man of Iron!  

Dr.BruceBanner- k cool

User#102746- Yelena, Maria, Clint, and myself will all be attending.

I_Am_Ironman- Huh.  I expected more argument than that. 

Rhodeybear has added Rhodeybear to Avengers Assemble

Rhodeybear- You bitch and moan too much for people to disagree about parties you host anymore.  We’ve all learned to simply ‘take the L’ and show up. 

Rhodeybear left Avengers Assemble

shuriwithaB (she/her)- KSJHFSKJFJSJF PLS OMGGGG 

Spider-Man (he/they)- every day i am simply astounded by the iconicness of rhodey.  

V.I.S.I.O.N.- 

WandaMaximoff- Wait question, what is everyone going as.  I dont wanna unintentionally copy/match

WandaMaximoff- Everyone just say what their gonna be or just lmk if u have no idea

WandaMaximoff- I’m going as Jessie from Toy Story

V.I.S.I.O.N.- 

I_Am_Ironman- I’m going as Jack Sparrow and Pepper’s going to be Elizabeth Swan 

Spider-Man (he/they)- I haven’t decided but it’s def not something from toy story 

SIMPSIMPSIMP- Bucky said we’re going as Adora and Catra? I think we’ll be doing drag then but I’m not sure.  Seems fun though 

Spider-Mine (he/they)- omg no way that’ll look so cool

shuriwithaB (she/her)- !!!!! my gf will definitely be hearing about htis thats so fun

shuriwithaB (she/her)- and she said we’re either going as bubblegum and marceline or the girls from squid game 

THOR- I have not yet decided, but it will likely be a buff blonde as to best utilize my skillset!

Dr.BruceBanner- I’m going as broccoli. 

I_Am_Ironman- Weren’t you broccoli last year? 

Dr.BruceBanner- No I was kale last year, and then a leek the year before. I’ve been saving broccoli for a good year.  I think I’ll do mint next year.  

WandaMaximoff- I wish I had your dedication to a single running joke

WandaMaximoff- how many years had it been?

V.I.S.I.O.N.- has*

WandaMaximoff- tyty

Dr.BruceBanner- Well over a decade at this point.  The bit’s really outgrown itself to be honest, but I can’t give it up now.  

WandaMaximoff- dedication.  

WandaMaximoff- Anyways. Whos next?

snek- im going as levi

shuriwithaB (she/her)- power move 

Captain_Marvel- We’re doing some ‘dumb family matchy-matchy thing’ but I’m not sure what is.  Probably pirates.  We do that a lot. 

Maria_Hill- Yelena and I are going as Velma and Fred.  

User#102746- Without me??

Yelena <3- You’re Daphne… Duh

User#102746- Ah.  Who’s Shaggy and Scooby then? 

Maria_Hill- Clint is Shaggy and we haven’t decided who will be Scooby yet.  @Scottyscottscott would you be willing? 

Scottyscottscott- @Wasp are we doing anything together? 

Wasp- I haven’t planned anything yet, so no.  You’ll be a cute Scooby.  Similar personality.  

Scottyscottscott- ….Alright.  Then yeah sure

Maria_Hill- I’ll add you to the group chat then. 

Rhodeybear has added Rhodeybear to Avengers Assemble

Rhodeybear- I haven’t picked a costume yet, but I’m open to options. 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Do you have a vibe you’re going for?

Rhodeybear- Something the opposite of what I usually do

Spider-Man- Oooo go as a Disney villain 

Rhodeybear- hmm i could do Dr. Facilier again

Rhodeybear- I was him four years ago

shuriwithaB (she/her)- you could do something from anime

Rhodeybear- That’s so broad…

WandaMaximoff- You could go as the sport you played in high school

Rhodeybear- I could be a football player. That could be funny. 

I_Am_Ironman- You could be a disco dancer. Do something decades. 

Rhodeybear- Okay so far the options are disco, football, or disney

Rhodeybear- Anybody have a specific preference?

V.I.S.I.O.N.- 

WandaMaximoff- Omg babe

WandaMaximoff- betrayal

Rhodeybear- Thanks Vision! 

Rhodeybear left Avengers Assemble

WandaMaximoff- Every time.  Without fail LOL

WandaMaximoff- Anyways we still have more people to ask about their halloween costumes. 

WandaMaximoff- uhh @TheFalcon @King_T’Challa @scum.of.the.earth 

King_T’Challa- I have no idea.  I will not be taking suggestions because last time everyone said I should go as a cat.  

WandaMaximoff- ksdfhskjdf alright 

WandaMaximoff- @TheFalcon @scum.of.the.earth you still need to answer 

WandaMaximoff- What’s your costume this year?

scum.of.the.earth.- I’m going as Sherlock Holmes.  

I_Am_Ironman- Boringgggg 

I_Am_Ironman- You do that literally every year

I_Am_Ironman- Pick something more interesting

scum.of.the.earth.- No. 

WandaMaximoff- Anyways 

WandaMaximoff- @TheFalcon come onnnnnn

TheFalcon- Three pings?? Really??? 

WandaMaximoff- omg what were you doing?

TheFalcon- I don’t have notifications on for Discord,,,,,,

WandaMaximoff- Weird.  

WandaMaximoff- anyways whats your Halloweeen costume? 

TheFalcon- I haven’t decided.  Maybe one of the staff from Squid Game? Or Cyborg from that series Teen Titans. 

WandaMaximoff- solid choices.  Cool.  thanks everyone!

shuriwithaB (she/her)- ywwww

Spider-Man (he/they)- ofc! 

V.I.S.I.O.N.- 

Mystery Gang Group Chat

Maria- Alright everyone.  Time to pick our outfits. 

Maria- I'm thinking that I'll wear:

Maria-

Yelena <3- Thats certainly an outfit

Yelena <3- Good on you 

Nat- Oh my god you cant wear that

Nat- That skirt is barely more than underwear

Yelena <3- Are you trying to control your gf?? Smh i thought better of u 

Nat- I-

Nat- wear whatever you want, i just think its a little short for a work party

Nat- youll look good 

Yelena <3- KSJFHKJFSKHJ

Maria- Mission accomplished

Nat- Huh?

Yelena <3- Nothing. 

Yelena <3- Nothing at all. 

Yelena <3- anyways im gonna wear a white button down, blue bell bottom jeans, an orange scarf, and cowboy boots

Nat- will that go together??

Yelena <3- stfu judgy ass bitch 

Nat- oh go cry about it 

Clit- oh grate now there sparring

Nat- at least i know which homonyms are what and english is my third language 

Clit- literally fuck off

Clit- illiteracy is a big issue

Scott- Um… 

Scott- Should we tell him?

Nat- no

Yelena- no

Maria- no

Scott- Sounds good!

Scott- Anyway i found this like super uncanny valley scooby fit 

Scott-

Scott- Opinions?

Nat- horrifying 

Maria- oh my god 

Yelena <3- what the fuck 

Clit- i love it 

Scott- perfect 

Clit- im just gonna wear a green shirt, baggy brown pants, brown shoes, and im gonna be high as hell

Nat- fun 

Yelena <3- okok all we need is @Nat ‘s costume 

Nat- I’m literally right here there is zero need to at me.  Or even text me…… 

Yelena <3- semantics 

Maria- Nat what are you wearing? 

Nat- ….

Nat- Okay I found this dress and it’s like pretty but not super Daphne? 

Nat-

Maria- and you said i was going to be scandalous 

Maria- okay okay if you’re going as that i’ll need a more fancy version of mine 

Yelena <3- omggg pair it with fluffy curls, a headband, green choker, and green tights and that’ll look so good 

Nat- thank you 

Maria-

Maria- But the skirt will be red instead 

Nat- youll look good…….

Yelena <3- PLS 

Yelena <3- NATS GONNA EAT U UP KSJDFHKSJD

Yelena <3- HAVE FUN WITH THAT BABE 

Maria- Oh I’m counting on it 

Chapter Text

DM to shuriwithaB 

sappho_reincarnate- oh my god i have so much work to do 

shuriwithaB- you got this !!! i belibe in you!!!

sappho_reincarnate- you belieb in me? uwu

sappho_reincarnate- i belibe in you too <33

shuriwithaB- blocked 

shuriwithaB- good night 

shuriwithaB- i’m saddened

shuriwithaB- hurt 

shuriwithaB- betrayed 

sappho_reincarnate- ,,,,really 

shuriwithaB- yes really :(( 

shuriwithaB- are you doubting me??? 

sappho_reincarnate- yes. yes i am. 

shuriwithaB- enough on this, though, it’s like, what, 2 am for you??? 

shuriwithaB- you need sleep !!

sappho_reincarnate- yes yes i’m all washed up for bed mother 

shuriwithaB- wtf never call me mother again

sappho_reincarnate- ,,,,,,,,,,,

sappho_reincarnate- father?

shuriwithaB- NO KJADHKJAKDJ

sappho_reincarnate- parent?

shuriwithaB- PLS ITS NOT THE GENDER 

sappho_reincarnate- ,,,,,,,mommy?

shuriwithaB- AKJFHKAHJDAASASF NO 

sappho_reincarnate- okok fine i’ll stop

sappho_reincarnate- also peter just texted me about bruce’s bday bash next week cause he needs a +1 and ned is leaving for that exchange trip 

sappho_reincarnate- do you need a +1?

shuriwithaB- nah im not going, have fun tho!! and go to sleep!!!

sappho_reincarnate- okok ikkkkkk 

sappho_reincarnate- but yeah, gn babe <3

shuriwithaB- good night <3

Avengers Assemble 

I_Am_Ironman has removed Dr.BruceBanner from Avengers Assemble

I_Am_Ironman- Okay everyone here who is attending Bruce’s birthday bash please say yes and who your plus one is, go: 

I_Am_Ironman- Yes + Pepper 

 WandaMaximoff- you want me to go to this party after the last one???

I_Am_Ironman- I mean, yes? That party was fairly tamed, all things considered.  No illegal substances were used, everyone was over 21, and there was minimal property damaged.  

WandaMaximoff- Natasha and Clint got LOCKED IN A ROOM 

WandaMaximoff- TO WHICH BUCKY HAD THE BRIGHT IDEA 

WandaMaximoff- OF BREAKING DOWN THE DOOR 

WandaMaximoff- “stand back i’m a soldier” motherfucker 

WandaMaximoff- and then CAROL OF ALL PEOPLE 

WandaMaximoff- PULLED OUT HER GUN 

WandaMaximoff- SHOT OPEN THE DOOR 

WandaMaximoff- AND THEN FELL OVER AND SHOT THE CHANDELIER 

James_Barnes- that was a wonderful, dramatic retelling Wanda

WandaMaximoff- THAT WASNT DRAMATIC 

James_Barnes- It’s in all caps lol 

WandaMaximoff- but there was no embellishments ??? i jstu told the story???

Spider-Man (he/they)- That is exactly how it went,,,,,

I_Am_Ironman- Well besides that, it was a fairly nice party!

Spider-Man (he/they)- the cops came

Spider-Man (he/they)- the cops came because a random person showed up in the middle of Loki demonstrating how to dissect a body with a transfigured mannequin

Spider-Man (he/they)- and instead of figuring out how that person got there, or dealing with them BECAUSE WE ARE THE AVENGERS sOMEBODY LOCKED THEM IN A ROOM AND decided to call the COPS 

Spider-Man (he/they)- if i find out who it is i’m literally gonna murder you and go to jail myself you made that poor person and the poor cops deal with the avengers 

I_Am_Ironman- It was our off day so… 

I_Am_Ironman- And besides that… 

Wasp- Scott and I came separately and we found out that Scott never came at all and during a bullshit monologue that some random FBI agent who’s apparently “a dead-ringer for Mr. Lang” was dressed up in that horrifying Scooby costume.  

Rhodeybear has added Rhodeybear to Avengers Assemble 

Rhodeybear- face it tones, mostly sober or not that party was a fucking shit show 

Rhodeybear has left Avengers Assemble

SIMPSIMPSIMP- Well I had a great time! 

SIMPSIMPSIMP- And I’m sure Tony would make sure Bruce’s birthday party would go well. 

V.I.S.I.O.N.-

WandaMaximoff- I have some bad news for you buddy…  

I_Am_Ironman- Well I still need to know who’s coming

WandaMaximoff- Ugh fine. 

WandaMaximoff- Vis and I are going 

I_Am_Ironman- In the format please!

V.I.S.I.O.N.- Wanda right now: 

V.I.S.I.O.N.- 

WandaMaximoff- :)

WandaMaximoff- Yes + Vision

I_Am_Ironman- Great, thank you.  Next! 

SIMPSIMPSIMP- Yes + Bucky

TheFalcon- eXCUSE ME?? 

SIMPSIMPSIMP- ??

TheFalcon- why is bucky going with you of all people??

James_Barnes- …Of all people? 

James_Barnes- He’s my fiance?? 

James_Barnes- Of course I’m going with him.  

James_Barnes- You’re just mad you don’t have a + 1 now

TheFalcon- …fiance? 

James_Barnes- oops

TheFalcon- I HELPED YOU PICK OUT A FUCKING RING AND YOU DIDNT EVEN TELL ME YOU PROPOSED????? 

James_Barnes- to be fair I asked him last night and we’ve been pretty busy

TheFalcon- ITS FOUR IN THE AFTERNOON

TheFalcon- WE LIVE TOGETHER

TheFalcon- I HAD BREAKFAST WITH YOU THIS MORNING 

James_Barnes- …sorry?

TheFalcon- I can’t believe you.

scum.of.the.earth- I have a quick announcement to make 

scum.of.the.earth- @Spider-Man (he/they) Did you receive my message.  

Spider-Man (he/they)- yeah one sec

DM to Spider-Man 

Dr.Stephen_Strange- Could you give me moderator permissions in Avengers Assemble so I can add two new avengers?

Spider-Man- Can do

Dr.Stephen_Strange- My effusive thanks. 

Koala Cult

Petri Dish- YALL

Petri Dish- <image.jpg>

nnnned- KAJSFHKASFJAHS

nnnned- “my effusive thanks”

sappho_reincarnate- im gonna cry wtf

Petri Dish- just thought i’d share :)

shuriwithaB- i’m gonna clown him so hard for that just you wait 

Petri Dish- looking forward to it 

Avengers Assemble 

scum.of.the.earth has changed their name to Dr.Stephen_Strange 

Dr.Stephen_Strange has added Katy, Sean to Avengers Assemble 

Dr.Stephen_Strange- Welcome.  

Katy- Hey!! WOw this is super super cool 

Sean-

Dr.Stephen_Strange- I believe some introductions are in order – everyone please introduce yourself. 

Spider-Man (he/they)- What’s up! I’m Spidey

shuriwithaB (she/her)- shuri 👋🏿

I_Am_Ironman- Tony Stark

I_Am_Ironman- Billionaire, 

I_Am_Ironman- Husband, 

Rhodeybear has added Rhodeybear to Avengers Assemble 

Rhodeybear- literally stfu Tones nobody cares about your dramatic introduction 

Rhodeybear has left Avengers Assemble 

I_Am_Ironman- I can’t have ONE nice thing 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- without fail, every time, colonel rhodes never misses a chance to clown on Tony 

Rhodeybear has added Rhodeybear to Avengers Assemble 

Rhodeybear- damn right i do 

Rhodeybear has left Avengers Assemble 

I_Am_Ironman- ????? HOW?????? RHODEY PLEASE EXPLAIN????? 

User#102746- I know how 

I_Am_Ironman- Of course you do Nat, you’re the Black Widow

I_Am_Ironman- But could you please take pity on poor old me and tell me? 

shuriwithaB- at least you admit you’re old 

I_Am_Ironman- HEY

Dr.Stephen_Strange- I feel as though we have gotten off track.  I think I’ll skip the rest of the introductions, just message me if you are confused about who is who.  

Katy- Okay thank you! 

Sean- What Katy said! 

Dr.Stephen_Strange- I should probably introduce the two of you, though.  

Dr.Stephen_Strange- Sean is Shang Chi and Katy is his sidekick who has not chosen her name yet.  

Katy- Hey! It’s a tough process! 

Spider-Man (he/they)- I know right.  And I still get clowned over my name :(( 

Katy- Oh but your name is cool! 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Thank you!! Into the server you go!   

Katy- Pardon?

shuriwithaB (she/her)- you´ll see

Cool Avengers 

Biderman has added Katy, Sean to Cool Avengers 

Biderman- Welcome! I’ll do a quick intro. 

Biderman- I’m Spider-Man, as you might have guessed, Shuri is here too, and so is Colonel Rhodes. 

Yelena <3- Hey! I’m Nat’s sister and another widow :)

S N A K E- I am Loki

TheFalcon- I’m The Falcon aka Sam! 

Witchbitch- I’m Wanda – the Scarlet Witch and @S.I.M.P. is Vision 

Fannibal- I’m Bucky (the Winter Soldier)

Biderman- I feel like I’m missing someone but that’s alright! 

Biderman- Welcome!!

Katy- Thanks for inviting us! 

Sean- Definitely! 

Sean- Can’t wait to be a cool Avenger 

Sean-

shuriwithaB (she/her)- you’re done

Biderman- already????

Chapter Text

Avengers Assemble 

I_Am_Ironman- I have the best investment ideas ever Pepper you just don’t understand my genius. 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Uhh wrong chat Mr. Stark 

I_Am_Ironman- …Ignore that

snek (xe/xem)- whats ur investment idea tho

I_Am_Ironman- Purchase a multitude of luxury chocolates

shuriwithaB (she/her)- so your plan is to: 1) buy chocolate 2) ??? 3) profit

I_Am_Ironman- Well when you put it that way… 

Dr.BruceBanner- How are we supposed to put it Tony??

I_Am_Ironman- Anyways 

James_Barnes- Aren’t you supposed to segway “anyways” with a topic change? It’s been an hour

I_Am_Ironman- …I have more important things to do

Rhodeybear has added Rhodeybear to Avengers Assemble 

Rhodeybear- Like trying to purchase Nestle? 

I_Am_Ironman- Precisely

Rhodeybear- I hope you can feel my intense disappointment wherever you are.  

I_Am_Ironman- Of course I can, who doyu you think I am??

Rhodeybear- Ironman.  It’s in the name.  

Rhodeybear has left Avengers Assemble 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- well EYE DO have a topic change

snek (xe/xem)- do tell…

shuriwithaB (she/her)- i’ll do it in the other server 

Cool Avengers

shuriwithaB- <link> Hottest Avengers RANKED

TheFalcon- What on God’s Green Earth is that???? 

shuriwithaB- a comprehensive ranking of all the avengers by looks 

shuriwithaB- there’s even different categories.  shall we take a look?

Avengers Assemble 

Spider-Man (he/they)- bye what the fuck shuri [deleted]

Spider-Man (he/they)- Apologies

shuriwithaB (she/her)- noted <3

WandaMaximoff- wrong chat spidey TuT

Spider-Man (he/they)- I noticed LOL

Cool Avengers

shuriwithaB- SO

Biderman- OMFG AM I ON THERE

shuriwithaB- GO CHECK

Biderman- IM ON PATROL RNNN JUST TEXT THE LISTS PLSPLSPSL

shuriwithaB- FINE OKOK

shuriwithaB- so for teh original avengers this is the “definitive ranking”

shuriwithaB- Black Widow (32.24%), Captain America (25.54%), Thor (15.2%), Iron Man (12.8%), Hulk/Bruce Banner (11.2%), Hawkeye (2.3%)

User#102746- i agree with this ranking wholeheartedly

Fannibal- Of course you would.  I think it’s also very accurate, though I would have ranked Bruce above Tony sorry not sorry I would let Hulk smash me any day

Biderman- BRO

Biderman- WE ARE YOUR COWORKERS

shuriwithaB- PLEASE IMGONNA VONIR

Witchbitch- vonir??

shuriwithaB- VOMIT

Witchbitch- oh I agree wholeheartedly 

Witchbitch- I wish to bleach my eyes.  

User#102746- sending this to steve

Fannibal- Oh he knows we’ve discussed this

Biderman- NOPENOPENOPE MOVING ON

shuriwithaB- we havent even gotten to the good part: the definitive ranking of all current avengers!!

Biderman- oh g-d

shuriwithaB- this one doesnt have any percentages tho :(((

S.I.M.P.-  

Katy- This is not what I expected to see

Katy- Oh my eyes

Katy- Wait wati

Katy- @Sean 

Katy- You’re on there???

Sean- How… wonderful…

shuriwithaB- LEMME TELL YOU ALL THE RANKING PLPLPLSSS

Biderman- go ahead shuri :/

S.I.M.P.- GIF if you insist

shuriwithaB- OKOKOK SO

shuriwithaB- IM GONNA GO BOTTOM UP 

shuriwithaB- 21 is Hawkeye 

TheFalcon- DEAD FUCKING LAST

Fannibal- LMAO BYE 

S.I.M.P-

Witchbitch- I CANT BREATHE

Biderman- 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

shuriwithaB- 20 is Vision 

Witchbitch- i am BEYOND offended 

S.I.M.P.- It is alright.  Many people find that I am eerie and unattractive.  I don’t pay attention to them. Only your opinion matters in that regard.  ♡

Witchbitch-

shuriwithaB- ew couples 

Biderman-

shuriwithaB- pretty sure thats in the reverse 

Biderman- who’s 19th??

shuriwithaB- dont think i dont see u chanign the subject

shuriwithaB- changing 

User#102746- i must say i am curious as well

shuriwithaB- fine fine 

shuriwithaB- 19 is Antman 

shuriwithaB- 18 is hulk 

Fannibal- Wow. Who’s next?

shuriwithaB- ……….. Uh

shuriwithaB- hey bestie bestie spidey dont kll me

Biderman- oh im next?

shuriwithaB- tbf the author specified this is bc nobody knows ur face and that ur probably rlly hot

Biderman- well i got 17! that’s pretty good!!

shuriwithaB- if u wanna take it that way then great!!

shuriwithaB- and then 16 is iron patriot

TheFalcon- who tf is that 

shuriwithaB- girl how would i know

Biderman- it’s colonel rhodes 

TheFalcon- DAMn 

TheFalcon- they did my man dirty wtf

shuriwithaB-they rlly did 

shuriwithaB- and now with our first woman of the list!! 

shuriwithaB- drumroll please!!

S.I.M.P.-

SNAKE- its the wasp 

shuriwithaB- :/

shuriwithaB- i mean yeah but u could have waited til i said it

SNAKE- now why would i do that?

shuriwithaB- MOVING ON

shuriwithaB- at 14, we have iron man

shuriwithaB- and then we ME AT THIRTEEN

shuriwithaB- I HAVE TO LORD THIS OVER TONY FOREVERAND EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER

Biderman- wow u are never gonna shut up abt this

Fannibal- congrats!!

Witchbitch- is that even the right thing to say in that scenario? 

User#102746- i don't think there IS a right thing to say

SNAKE- yes yes how quaint who is 12th?

shuriwithaB- let me bask in my win ::(((( 

SNAKE- no. entertain me.  

shuriwithaB- fine. 

shuriwithaB- at 12 is captain marvel

shuriwithaB- then at a respectable 11 is dr strange 

SNAKE- i would rank him higher than that :(

shuriwithaB- can anyone guess who’s 10th???

Biderman- we can all read the article lol

shuriwithaB- shut the fuck up

shuriwithaB- anyways at 10th is shang chi

Sean- I thought i was gonna get last.  Very happy

Katy- GO SEAN

Katy- WHOOOOO

shuriwithaB- then for some reason yelena is on here? she’s 9th for whatever reason

User#102746- I suddenly know who wrote this article

Yelena- ^-^ who’s 8th? 

shuriwithaB- my brother :/

shuriwithaB- why is he so much higher than me :/

Yelena- sorry ur brothers hot

User#102746- so you DO admit it

Yelena- admit what? that shuri’s brother is hot? absolutely ^-^

User#102746- …

shuriwithaB- moving on before i throw up

shuriwithaB- the scarlet witch is next

Witchbitch-

Witchbitch- 7th place!!!

shuriwithaB- then at 6th is captain america and 5th is the white wolf/winter soldier 

Fannibal- HELL FUCKING YEAH

shuriwithaB- congrats !!

shuriwithaB- now for top 4!! 

shuriwithaB- 4th is the falcon

TheFalcon- damn right!!

TheFalcon- take that bucky 

TheFalcon-

shuriwithaB- whooo

shuriwithaB- then 3rd is thor 

SNAKE- what

SNAKE- he is not that hot

Fannibal- ur fucking lying 

Fannibal- thor is so hot

SNAKE- :/

shuriwithaB- and then 2nd is black widow

User#102746- as to be expected 

shuriwithaB- and then NUMBER ONE IS LOKI

shuriwithaB- CONGRATSSSS

SNAKE- as is only proper

Hottest Avenger- i knew it, but it is nice to see mortals recognize it as well

Fannibal- how does it feel to be dating #11 as #1

Hottest Avenger- i most definitely settled

shuriwithaB- BYE IM TELLING HIM U SAID THST

Hottest Avenger- do it 

Hottest Avenger- he knows

DM to Dr.Steven_Strange

shuriwithaB- <image> 

shuriwithaB- L

Dr.Steven_Strange- I am well aware.  Also what ranking are you referring to? 

shuriwithaB- omg u all don’t know about the hottest avengers ranking omgggg

Dr.Steven_Strange- Do tell? 

Avengers Assemble

shuriwithaB (she/her)- it has come to my attention that you all don’t know about the hottest avengers ranking

shuriwithaB (she/her)- or that could just be dr strange idk idc

shuriwithaB (she/her)- anyways here it is <link> Hottest Avengers RANKED

shuriwithaB (she/her)- and for your ease, this is the list of the OG avengers

shuriwithaB (she/her)- Black Widow (32.24%), Captain America (25.54%), Thor (15.2%), Iron Man (12.8%), Hulk/Bruce Banner (11.2%), Hawkeye (2.3%)

shuriwithaB (she/her)- that one was popular vote 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- and this one was by something?? the author didn’t specify

shuriwithaB (she/her)- loki (1), black widow (2), thor (3), the falcon (4), winter soldier (5), captain america (6), scarlet witch (7), black panther (8), yelena (9), shang chi (10), dr strange (11), captain marvel (12), shuri (13), iron man (14), wasp (15), iron patriot (16), spiderman (17), hulk (18), ant man (19), vision (20), hawkeye (21)

shuriwithaB (she/her) has pinned two messages to Generally in Avengers Assemble

shuriwithaB (she/her)- enjoy!!

Hawkweyeisthecoolest- waht the fuck

Captain MEE6 would like to remind @James_Barnes that the word [fuck] is banned. 

Chapter Text

Avengers Assemble 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- mister barton why on bast’s beautiful earth are you still mad about the avengers ranking??

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- BECJASUE I WAS LAST SHURII WHY ELSE////

User#102746- its been months clint… chill…

Hawkeyeisthecoolest- I WIKL NOTT 

SteveRogers- Okay new topic everyone! 

Spider-Man (he/they)- I have one!! @THOR how is Love doing? I hope she’s doing well :D 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Maybe I can swing by sometime and hang with her 

THOR- Oh but of course, Man of Spiders! Love would be delighted.  Just send a memo of sorts =) 

THOR- She is becoming quite the warrior, you may be pleased to note. 

snek (he/him)- no one wants to hear about how love is a warrior.  

THOR- What ever do you mean, brother of mine?? You love Love??? 

snek (he/him)- yes yes hence why i say we want to hear about her knife skills and fearsome trickery

THOR- … 

THOR- A fortnight ago Love put glitter on the fan and it still is stuck everywhere. 

THOR- Does that count? 

snek (he/him)- absolutely i love her so much i will be sending her many gifts soon 

THOR- If I could sigh over messages, I would, but alas. 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- oh sure you can! there are tons of ways, yk 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- u can use emojis, emoticons, weird asterisk things like *sigh* or idk like gifs and stuff where the person is facepalming or sighing 

THOR- Quite complicated! I will think about it— maybe ask Love.  But much thanks for the help, Princess! 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- ur so welcome 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- as thanks i request pictures of the lovely love

THOR- But of course! 

THOR- Us in disguise!

THOR-

THOR- I am afraid I don’t have any more, though.  Love is in her “I hate cameras” stage of life.  

shuriwithaB (she/her)- saddd cause she’s so cute :((( 

THOR- It is a shame, but I wish only to respect her and her desires. 

shuriwithaB (she/her)- aww ur such a good dad 

THOR- I am only doing the right thing, but many thanks.  

Spider-Man (he/they)- Speaking of kids! I saw the cutest kid the other day! His name was Miles and he said he wanted to be just like me when he was growing up haha. Not sure if he really wants to, but he was very cute nonetheless. 

WandaMaximoff- Aww fans are the sweetest, especially kids

V.I.S.I.O.N.- 

SteveRogers- Kids are always a little strange because they quote all those school things.  I didn’t know they were that memorable. 

Spider-Man (he/they)- OMG dude like very time I was in detention I had to watch them.  I was like wow.  The real Steve wouldn’t be mad at me for punching a bully. 

SteveRogers- Damn right! 

Captain MEE6 would like to remind @SteveRogers that the word [Damn] is banned. 

SteveRogers- That isn’t even a curse word??? What the fuck???

Captain MEE6 would like to remind @SteveRogers that the word [fuck] is banned.

SteveRogers- …I should have expected that… 

James_Barnes- LMAOO 

James_Barnes- G-d I love that bot.  Gets me every time.  Hilarious. 

Koala Cult 

Petri Dish- i want u all to know that while in the pretentious hipster vinyl shop mj made me go into, she said, and i quote “haha look its the two genders, ac/dc and abba”

nnnned- mj how do u respond to these allegations??^&((*

sappho_reincarnated- not guilty

Petri Dish- WRONG

Petri Dish- U LITERALLY SAID UR GENDER WAS AC/DC

sappho_reincarnated- and u said urs was abba whats the point 

Petri Dish- so u admit it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sappho_reincarnated- no

Petri Dish- wddym?::PP(

sappho_reincarnated- i plead the 5ht

sappho_reincarnated- 5th

shuriwithaB- babe didnt u say once that people who pled the 5th were cowards who couldnt face the music once

sappho_reincarnated- fine u got me my gender is ac/dc and im proud of it 

sappho_reincarnated- moving on

sappho_reincarnated- shuri hasnt had bubble tea ever :/

nnnned- a disgrace 

Petri Dish- shuri literally come to ny please we’ll give u good bubble tea its so goood pls shuri

nnnned- fr its just the right sweetness & its so customizable its literally the best 

shuriwithaB- ill think abt it 

shuriwithaB- maybe

shuriwithaB- it cant be taht good 

Avengers Assemble 

SteveRogers- God bless Soviet sex drugs! [deleted]

SteveRogers- Whoops! That was for Natasha.  Sorry all who had to see that!

User#102746- oh NOW you’re sorry

SteveRogers- I thought you wanted all the details…

James_Barnes- stevie, buddy, light of my life, tree to my nest, blossom to my bee why in the ever loving FUCK are you telling tasha about our sex life

TheFalcon- please please please move this conversation for my sanity

I_Am_Ironman- Please don’t I’m very interested in hearing all about it  

Rhodeybear has added Rhodeybear to Avengers Assemble 

Rhodeybear- now i KNOW you didn’t just say that 

Rhodeybear- my good woman pepper does not deserve that 

I_Am_Ironman- Rhodey it's not what it looks like— 

Rhodeybear- oh i’ve seen enough 

Rhodeybear has left Avengers Assemble 

I_Am_Ironman- Nooooo

shuriwithaB (she/her)- HAHAHA L

Scottyscottscott- Help mydaughter wants a bunny so bad how am i gonna tell her i’m like deadly allergic to bunnies

Wasp- suffer 

Scottyscottscott- HOPE CAN YOU PLEASE GET THE BUNNY FOR HER I PHYSICALLY CANNOT

Wasp- wear the suit.  Simple.  

Scottyscottscott- MY SUIT IS FOR DIMENSION TRAELLING AND BIG/SMALL ITS NOT ALLERGEN PROOF

Spider-Man (he/they)- I can help you Mr. Lang! I’ve been looking at getting a small pet recently— I wouldn’t mind “sharing custody” with you if that would work out.  

Scottyscottscott- BLESS YOU SPIDERMAN I LOVE YIOU SO MUCH

Scottyscottscott- ILL COVER 75% COSTS THANK YOU DUDE

Spider-Man (he/they)- It’s no problem! Happy to help ^^

WandaMaximoff- Aww bunnies are so cute.  What are you going to name it?

Spider-Man (he/they)- I think we can let Cassie choose :)

Scottyscottscott- THE BEST 

DM to Witchbitch

S N A K E- why would i let my lack of uterus stop me from baby trapping my man 

S N A K E- like what if i just simply magicked one

Witchbitch- sSTOP LOKI WHAT 

Witchbitch- AM I GONNA BE AN AUNT???:

Witchbitch- I THOUGHT U WERE GONNA WAIT TIL I HAD KIDS 

Witchbitch- ARE U SERIOUS 

Witchbitch- LOKI ANSWER UR MOTHERFUCKING PHONE 

Witchbitch- LOKIKIIIIIIIII ARE U JOKING////////////////???>lll::”p”p

Witchbitch- LOKILLOKI PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHITYHIN 

S N A K E-

Witchbitch- LLLLOOKIIII R U PLAYING

Witchbitch- PLS MY FRAGILE HEART CANT TAKE IT I NEED TO KNOW 

S N A K E- so baby names 

S N A K E- im thinking sleipnir

Witchbitch- LOKIIIII

Koala Cult 

shuriwithaB- i was wrong you all were right bubble tea is that good 

Chapter Text

Avengers Assemble

Scottyscottscott- Cassie named the bunny cloud it’s so cute 

WandaMaximoff- send pics!! 

Spider-Man (he/they)- I only have one at the moment 

Spider-Man (he/they)- 

Wasp- Awww 

WandaMaximoff- LOVE 

Rhodeybear has added Rhodeybear to Avengers Assemble 

Rhodeybear- very adorable

Rhodeybear has left Avengers Assemble 

User#102746- Now I want a bunny… 

DM to Witchbitch

S N A K E- i unfortunately am not joking…

Witchbitch- LOKI PLEASE

S N A K E- i’m so dead serious i’m pregnant 

Witchbitch- BBFFFFRRRR how am i supposed to take that seriously???

S N A K E- how can i convince you… 

Witchbitch- i would literally habe to be at the birth to believe you had a baby like huh

S N A K E- i’ll let you know the due date soon… 

S N A K E- the more pressing issue is how to tell stephen

Witchbitch- nobody is gonna think you’re actually pregnatn. i mean i sure dont ur literally the god of trickery or wtv 

S N A K E- i will send him a letter through post. and then give birth. then everyone shall know

S N A K E- unless im not pregnant this could just be an elaborate ruse… who knows 

Witchbitch- i know. i know its a ruse… 

S N A K E- moving on. you know who needs to date… that spider kid.. 

Witchbitch- TRU 

Witchbitch- we should get him latch or poundr or spark or something 

Witchbitch- whatever kids these days use. 

Koala Cult 

Petri Dish- bruh duolingo is kicking my ass pls 

Petri Dish- i just wanna learn spanish T-T 

sapphoreincarnate- just get good..

nnnned- no bc i was like indonesian would be a cool language to try and like its so hard duo is so scarry too 

Petri Dish- yeah like i have a 238 day streak and im too scared atp to use a streak freeze… i even paused beating up this guy to do duolingo ive never been so embarrassed 

nnnned- DAMN im at like 13 and i keep like losing my streak loll 

Cool Avengers 

Witchbitch- @Biderman you’ve been lonely for too long i’m calling an intervention 

Koala Cult

Petri Dish- NOOO PLS 

Petri Dish- shes gonna make me speed date or blind date or smth 

Cool Avengers 

Witchbitch- don’t worry we’ll help you make a profile

Koala Cult

Petri Dish- THAS WORSEE NOOOO 

nnnned- LAMOO SHE CALLED U BITCHLESS IN FRONT OF YOUR COWORKERS

Cool Avengers 

Witchbitch- i was thinking these pics: 

Witchbitch- 

Witchbitch-

Sean- Good smile man!

Witchbitch- this one too 

Witchbitch-

Fannibal- ooo me me i have a picture 

Biderman- NOOOOOOOOO PLS STOP 

Biderman- BUCKYYYYYYYY

Fannibal- too late 

Fannibal- 

Witchbitch- BAHAHAHAHAH OHMYGOD 

Witchbitch- we cnat put that on a profile but thats literally gold brb 

Avengers Assemble 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Wanda I swear on everything I love if you… 

WandaMaximoff- xoxoxo 

Spider-Man (he/they) has left Avengers Assemble 

WandaMaximoff- oh no you don’t 

WandaMaximoff has added Spider-Man (he/they) to Avengers Assemble 

Spider-Man (he/they)- pls let me goooo this is humiliating tbh

I_Am_Ironman- We’ve all seen worse 

Spider-Man (he/they)- Wow thanks Tony really makes me feel good 

I_Am_Ironman- oh NOW he uses the first name NOW 

Captain_Marvel- Hey everyone I need some help. My family wants to do a book club, but we can’t pick the first book. Does anyone have advice or book recommendations? 

SteveRogers- Fifty Shades of Gray

Captain_Marvel- die

Captain_Marvel- Anyone but Steve??? 

TheFalcon- That sounds dope I really liked the Witcher series if your family’s big on fantasy

Dr.Stephen_Strange- Austen is always a good place to start. I personally am partial to Mansfield Park.  

Yelena <3-  the dangers of smoking in bed by mariana enriquez. love me some latin american gothic horror. 

Yelena <3- also also our wives under the sea by julia armfield

Wasp- I really enjoyed Firefly Lane by Kristin Hannah 

James_Barnes- Sharp Objects 

James_Barnes- Gillian Flynn

Captain_Marvel- Thanks you all! I’ll talk to the fam about it and let you all know what we pick :) 

Yelena <3- slaaayyy 

Cool Avengers

Witchbitch- anyways… spidey what do you want you bio to say 

sappho_reincarnate- i got this. give me 20 seconds

Koala Cult

nnnned- omg i forgot i had this pic peter this is perfect !! 

nnnned- 

Petri Dish- NOT YOU TOO)???? 

Petri Dish- i will admit thats a cute photo tho.. 

Cool Avengers

sappho_reincarnate- “Hey! I’m Peter, and I’m a double major in biochem and nuclear physics. I do kickboxing on the side, and I’m looking for something casual or short-term. I love golden retrievers and coffee shop dates.” 

Witchbitch- perfect 

Witchbitch- okok we did it gals 

sappho_reincarnate- now its time for the racers to start their engines…

snek- and may the best drag queen win

sappho_reincarnate- you get me

snek- ofc 

Biderman- GUYSS PLEASE

Biderman- this is insanity 

Biderman- you gotta at least let me text the people

Witchbitch- how about i swipe on all the cute guys (trust i know your taste)

S.I.M.P.- [gif]

Witchbitch- let them text first

Witchbitch- and if its not an absolutely vile and horrendous

sappho_reincarnate- or boring

snek- yes i do believe it is a worse crime to be trite and dull than to be overbearing

Fannibal- ehhh the jury’s out

Witchbitch- fine yeah that’ll be criteria too dwdw i gotchu boo 

sappho_reincarnate- …who taught you that

Witchbitch- i recently binged a bunch of plural’s drag competition.

Witchbitch- twas fun 

Witchbitch- learned a lot