Fuck the Canon
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kann ich so sein wie ich bin
oder vorher schon war
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only with you can i be who i really am, or who i used to be -
Life's A Gamble by cakeisnotpie
Fandoms: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel (Movies), Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
17 Jun 2015
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Phil Coulson's proud of winning the annual SHIELD war games with his fantasy team, Strike Team Delta. Of course, he hadn't met Clint Barton in the flesh ... and seriously? Barton's flesh was mighty attractive ... and now that he has, he's pretty sure he's gotten in over his head.
Clint Barton never misses, plays a mean game of pool, and has a thing for competent, strong men who take charge. Then Phil Coulson shows up, they get activated for what may or may not be a real mission, and all Clint wants to do is get into Coulson's pants.
Mysterious energy spikes, science geeks, midnight swims, and lurking villains were not on Clint or Phil's agenda.
All Natasha wants to do is beat Maria Hill's team; why that's so important, well, Natasha isn't talking.
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Pub Crawl by cakeisnotpie
Fandoms: Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel (Movies), Marvel 616, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
14 Mar 2014
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Clint's babysitting Thor, Sif and the Warriors Three. There are historic pubs, darts, body shots, and twitter posts. Really bad names for penises. And maybe, just maybe, the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
This is the last in my series of "Ship Clint with all the Avengers." I'm excited to hear what you think about this Clint/Thor get-together. I certainly had fun writing.
Series
- Part 5 of Ship Clint With Everyone
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Perchance to Dream by cakeisnotpie
Fandoms: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
01 Apr 2014
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Phil should be used to death, but, turns out, when one life ends, another one begins. Or Clint has cookies, Bruce can rock and sing, and Tony has a daycare in the building. Pure fluff because hey, I wanted to.
Series
- Part 18 of Clint and Phil (MCU Avengers Universe)
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Things Fall Apart by cakeisnotpie
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel, Marvel (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
26 Apr 2014
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"We’ve always had each other’s back. I’m asking you to do that now.”
“I’ll always be with you, Phil.” Clint cautiously took one step closer until the barrel of the gun was almost touching his vest. “The only reason I stayed with SHIELD was because you were there."
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One Way or Another by cakeisnotpie
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel, Marvel (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Captain America (Movies), Thor (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
12 Jun 2014
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“You remember how Coulson always said that every Shakespeare play could be either a tragedy or a comedy? That there was one moment when the decision was made that lead to a happy ending or a dark one?”
“When Benedict confronts Claudio at the duel in Much Ado or the letter to Romeo goes awry. Yeah, that was one of Phil’s favorite theories.” Clint could see the compassion in his friend’s eyes as she looked at him, and it unnerved him.
“This is the moment, Clint. Is this the type of story where you go on missing each other for the rest of your lives, some French existential drama that has no closure? Or is this one of those romantic comedies where you realize how wrong you’ve been and chase him down to tell him?”
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What You Need by cakeisnotpie
Fandoms: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel, Marvel (Movies)
30 Jul 2014
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Dying can change a man.
Or Clint was clueless but now he's pretty damn happy about the way things turned out.
Or exploring kinks can be liberating.
Yeah, sorry, I don't know really know. -
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On his walk home, Phil Coulson, Agent of SHIELD, finds Clint Barton; 6 years old, homeless and alone with a German Shepard as his best friend.
As Phil fights to protect Clint from the threats of the past, he finds himself with a son, a dog, a partner and a new family.
But, can he keep his pinkie promises?Series
- Part 1 of Childish Ways To Solve Adult Problems
- Part 1 of A Lifetime of Promises
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Been There, Done That by cakeisnotpie
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel, Marvel (Movies)
13 Mar 2016
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The worst time to find out the friend/lover you thought dead was alive? Right after you've been hit by sex pollen and need to fuck or die. Good thing there's someone to step up and offer to take care of things. Cause, as Mick Jagger says, you don't always get what you want, but sometimes you get what you need.
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A new case brings up Barry's past
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Heavy Metal F.A.K.K.s Slash and Burn by Lycurgus
Fandoms: Slash and Burn (Podcast), Heavy Metal (1981), Heavy Metal 2000, Heavy Metal: F.A.K.K.²
21 May 2017
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[Kera and Steve were asking for this]
Long gone is the time when Steve thought night terrors were the worst thing that could happen to him. One night, he is forced to learn that things can get a lot worse. An ancient evil has been listening to the podcast, putting the show at a deadly risk ... and everything he holds dear. It's his one way ticket to midnight, but how much sacrifice will Steve be willing to make? And more importantly: what the cock is this shit?
"Strap yourselves in, boys..." (and girls)
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A fix-it fic with Soulmate!AU mixed in for 19.8, "Monster"
Because fuck that canon bullshit, what even was that garbage?
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Bloodlust by NoodleBuddy
Fandoms: Game of Thrones (TV), A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
31 Jul 2018
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He saw her, and he wanted. But she was his boss's girlfriend, so he kept quiet. Still, he watched, and enjoyed her flitting about the blonde cunt, saying her sweet words and chirping her little courtesies.
It wasn't until a year after she'd been dating Joffrey that he did more.
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Single Dad AU -- AU where Dean talks to Bobby about how unhappy he is with John and how worried he is about Sam’s health and Bobby files for custody. John doesn’t fight it. Bobby becomes a single dad that tries to balance hunting, his auto-repair business, and two kids. Mostly Dean-centric at the beginning.
Begins during Bad Boys s09e07 and takes off from there.
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DeanCas Domestic Fluff
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Handling being tossed into a world of pirates just as well as any senior in college would
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Charcoal-ash wing imprints on dingy motel dining room carpeting; a bright and ancient soul lost on the outskirts of Muncie fucking Indiana.
If Gabriel really died, who's sending Sam coffee every morning?
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We Three Kings by AbsolutelyNoChill_OnlyDeath
Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
16 Dec 2018
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The world will never be the same. There is more to life than a Game, but the Players will play it accordingly. All opposed with similar goals, they race towards their ultimate endgame and hope beyond all hope that they make it first.
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Lance actually finds the secret panel he was looking for.
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Duloc is a Perfect Place by CongressIsAliens
Fandoms: Shrek The Musical - Tesori/Lindsay-Abaire
31 Oct 2019
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Welcome to Duloc, such a perfect town
Here we have some rules, let us lay them down
Don't make waves, stay in line
And we'll get along fine
Duloc is a perfect place
Please keep off the grass
Shine your shoes, wipe your...face
Duloc is, Duloc is
Duloc is a perfect place.Alternate titles:
Farquaad's Gay Panic Fucks Shit Up: In this essay I will
pure crack cocaine
EmotionsTM
Sorry Ash
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The biggest fish in the river gets that way by not getting caught.
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Bookmarked by sternenschnuppendrachenschicksal
26 May 2018
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The Storyteller by Beatrice_Otter for Rana Eros (ranalore)
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I Will Show You Fear in a Handful of Dust by Draco_sollicitus
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America - All Media Types
17 Sep 2019
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Three years after the Snap halved the population of the universe, Steve Rogers still bears the weight of the Avengers’ failure on his shoulders. The dust has settled around him, trapping him in grief and burying him in regret. For three years, he’s assumed he'll never break free of the consequences of that day and his failure.
But, after his first group therapy session, he meets a handsome man haunted by his own ghosts; and they start to rebuild their worlds in the aftermath of an intergalactic tragedy.
(An Infinity War/Endgame re-write where Steve actually goes to therapy and doesn’t meet Bucky Barnes until after the Snap; they heal together and fall in love along the way)
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the reactions of a dead man by agloeian
Fandoms: Thor (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
22 Apr 2019
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One second, Loki is fading out of consciousness, and the next he’s staring at the ceiling of Asgard’s great hall with air in his lungs.
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Loki wakes up in the past with all the knowledge he needs to stop Thanos ever coming to power in the first place. This somehow doesn't stop him from getting into trouble.
A Post-Infinity War Time Travel Fix-it Fic.
Russian, Japanese & Chinese translation available.
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Castiel is alone after the events of The Song Remains the Same, left to make his own way back to the present from 1978. But the angel is playing wounded, and his power over time is not as precise as it once was. It is all he can do to cling to the one thread that will keep him from getting lost: Dean Winchester's timeline. He just ends up seeing more of it than he ever expected to, and it affects him in ways he never thought possible.
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When Jack opens a rift to leave the apocalypse world, he, Sam, Dean, Cas, and Gabriel think they’ve returned to their own universe to plan their fight against Michael. But they are unprepared for death threats from people they’ve never met, chaotic mobs out in public, and the greatest challenge they’ve ever faced.
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Would you like to hear a story?
In a world ravaged by a war of biblical proportions, where monsters run rampant and demons are thought to be good, Sam and Dean Winchester travel the country hunting monsters and searching for the angel that killed their mother. The brothers specialize in killing angels, and Dean has even earned himself the name Angel Killer. But their lives get turned upside down when they're assigned to kill the angel Castiel.
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Dean thinks he has reached the point of no return: with Cas dead and Mary gone, he doesn't think he'll ever be able to get up again. But when it appears that Jack, Lucifer's son, may not be the destroyer of worlds he believed him to be, he thinks there might be a chance of getting both his mother and his angel back. As the Nephilim reveals, they are trapped in the parallel dimension he opened a door to, both in their own manner.
The Winchesters decide to get them back at any cost, even if that means entering a universe destroyed by a war between Heaven and Hell. Dean thinks the biblical creatures and scorching earth may be the greatest obstacles, but he soon finds out the only way to get his Cas back, is to meet the one from that cursed land, one who never met him, one who never learned to love humanity.
And no matter how strong he believes in getting Cas back, there'll always be something - or someone - to stand in his way...
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So maybe everything didn't work out perfectly for Harry. Still, most of his friends survived, he'd gotten married, and was about to become a father. If only he'd have stayed away from the Veil, he wouldn't have had to go back and do everything AGAIN.
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"For you and I are brothers, and the bonds of brotherhood are not easily torn asunder."
The door opens to the Cage to release Lucifer, except there's nothing in there. Only confetti and a trickster who's not really a trickster and has a hell of a story to tell. One that involves the love of a big brother willing to do anything to protect his little brother and keep him safe. Even if that means tearing him from his Grace and making him human in order to free him from Hell.
Even if that means tearing his own Grace out to become human with him.
With new memories pouring in fast, Dean and Sam are in a race to figure out who really flipped the switch on the apocalypse and how to stop it, pretending they're vessels when they're really just missing their Graces, and, oh yeah, trying to find their brotherhood that they both had a hand in ripping apart.
That last one might not be the easiest, but it could mean the difference for who they are now, and who they used to be.
Series
- Part 1 of The Bonds of Brotherhood