16 Works in Jan (What We Do in the Shadows TV)

Listing Works

  1. Tags
    Summary

    “Sorry, Jan,” Nandor mumbled, struggling not to avert his eyes. “I could not sleep.”

    “Nandy.” Jan’s voice was gentle but reprimanding. She plopped down into a beanbag next to him with a heavy sigh. “You know you’re supposed to stay in bed until the sun comes up! You can’t be a productive human without your beauty sleep!” She stroked a few cold fingers down his face and smiled at him.

    He smiled back hesitantly, relieved that she wasn’t mad. “I’m sorry,” he said again. “I want to be human, I do! But it’s just… hard, sometimes.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,102
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    70
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Cinderella reimagined with Guillermo in the part. Elements are taken from all different versions of Cinderella, but probably most closely matches the Disney version (save for one or two important details).

    Tags will change as chapters are added, there will definitely be smut later on!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,974
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    9
    Hits:
    64
  3. Tags
    Summary

    And that’s the thing about their arrangement, the thing that makes Celeste’s body sing with excitement and power. When Jan says I need you, it’s not just dirty talk. She hungers for Celeste’s body, not just in the sexual sense. Celeste has done enough googling to make sense of Jan’s strangely desperate desire to eat her out, often and thoroughly.

    She doesn’t know when Jan last drank human blood. But the wetness Celeste produces alone seems to be enough for her to survive on. And fucking hell, is it good to be needed.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,609
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    193
  4. Tags
    Summary

    This was created by reallyrisky and posted on her behalf by Phasmama (who, to be clear, gets no credit for this masterpiece) as a gift for rhymeandrisen.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    0
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    19
    Hits:
    247
  5. Tags
    Summary

    nandor the relentless is suffering from a severe case of vampiric depression. guillermo de la cruz just wants to help. it’s his duty as his master’s bodyguard, after all; anything to gain his praise and approval. and, what’s the best solution to a broken heart?

    jazzercise, of course.

    but, will it help?
    will guillermo finally get noticed?
    does nandor reciprocate his romantic feelings?
    will nadja and laszlo be willing to help him carry out such an outlandish plan?
    will colin robinson ever shut the hell up?
    is there a hopeful future ahead for mr jackie daytona?

    let’s get physical.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,653
    Chapters:
    4/15
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    50
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    486
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Guillermo meant to arrive just before the evening aerobics session, but a change in schedule has him arriving at the wrong time — and coming face-to-face with a cult leader who's always willing to recruit.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,734
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    181
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    972
  7. Tags
    Summary

    “Maybe, as a reward for your good behaviour today, we can do something about your virginity. They always say your first time should be with someone you trust, right? And you trust me, don't you?”

    ---

    While Nandor is feeling vulnerable Jan takes advantage.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,257
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    441
  8. Tags
    Summary

    When a fantastical lost prince named Nandor lands in divorce lawyer Guillermo de la Cruz's metaphorical lap, he isn't sure how anybody could buy into Nandor's ideas about true love and happily ever after.

    Luckily for Guillermo, Nandor has plenty of convincing musical numbers to get his point across.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,851
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    213
    Bookmarks:
    48
    Hits:
    1,987
  9. Tags
    Summary

    “What is it? What do you see?” Nadja asks, while holding her husband's right arm.
    “There’s a ghost inside the mirror” Nandor explains to them, pointing at the figure with his finger “and he’s imitating me. Fucking guy, that’s very immature.”
    “A ghost?” Laszlo echoes, uncertain, sharing a worried look with his lady wife.
    “That’s not a ghost, master. That’s your reflection.”

    or, Nandor's attempt to be human again actually works (sort of). obviously, he has a propensity for accidents; Guillermo struggles to keep him alive (nothing new)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,956
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    42
    Kudos:
    265
    Bookmarks:
    46
    Hits:
    2,745
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Guillermo escapes every danger, until he doesn't.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,287
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    316
    Bookmarks:
    43
    Hits:
    1,681
  11. Tags
    Summary

    I know I'm just a fool who's willing
    To sit around and wait for you
    But baby, can't you see there's nothing else for me to do?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,411
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    189
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    3,046
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Jan pegs Nandor and manipulates him. That’s it, that’s the fic.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,763
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    59
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    508
  13. Tags
    Summary

    there’s a lot of content about eating disorders in here so please be cautious if you have any issues with food. if you’d like someone to talk to, my tumblr @parotcardsroxy or @nadja-dyke is open. stay safe <3

    -

    Jan used the blood as a punishment. It would always come back up, laced with water or rabies, and it was a terrible reminder of their monstrosity. Days began to blur, between the starvation and the exercise and the fucked up sleep schedule, and the only thing keeping him grounded was the nightly fang pulling. The pain was a stark reminder of his vampirism, that he had to work harder to become human, because Nandor the Relentless just wanted to be normal again.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,366
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    202
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1,179
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Nandor’s fingers were gripping the front of Guillermo's shirt, knuckles pressing into his chest so tightly he could feel the cold of his skin seeping through the fabric. Instinctively, Guillermo grabbed onto Nandor’s wrists, trying to ease some of the pressure.

    “Master, what are you doing?”

    Nandor had never laid a hand on him, not in eleven years. Guillermo had been around long enough to know that his master could have hurt him, and had certainly hurt others before, but not him. Never him.

    The Wellness Center and the aftermath, except Nandor was actually brainwashed.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,784
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    208
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    1,705
  15. Tags
    Summary

    "You know, my horse, John would have never entrapped me with locally sourced silver inlaid reigns," Nandor complains, albeit begrudgingly admiring of his former familiar's ingenuity.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,196
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    115
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1,411
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Nandor asks her, "When do you think I will be ready to eat human food?"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,663
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    39
    Kudos:
    638
    Bookmarks:
    58
    Hits:
    2,849

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