1 - 20 of 21 Works in Stede Bonnet is a Menace
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Edward Teach moves to Gravity Falls to run away from his now ex-boyfriend, Jack Rackham. He has bought an old cabin in the woods, and he is determined to make this work, to start a new life as he deserves.
In the woods, he will meet a mysterious blonde man with six fingers in each hand who accidentally drops a diary. What's inside the diary? Why did the man in the restaurant get pale when Ed mentioned he was moving to the old cabin? -
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Stede gets too drunk at Lucius and Pete's wedding, but that doesn't stop him from wanting to pleasure Ed within an inch of his life.
Over the following week, he goes several inches beyond that.
Series
- Part 4 of amuse bouche
- Part 50 of Smutty Gentlebeard AU one shots
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"Stede is a new play-partner, someone who somehow decided to see him again after their first encounter. (...) It should have been a disaster, instead Izzy had wanted more of that."
Written for Car Sex and Semi-Public Sex squares of the Izzy Hands Bingo.
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“I get it, Stede, but if you want someone to go on your sexual mad scientist journey with you, you can’t do it here."
Ed’s ears perk up. He had already noticed the two men at the table behind him from his seat at the bar—at least the blond one, with his out of place shimmering gold silk shirt and tight black jeans. From the body language, he can tell that one is Stede. He cocks his head slightly, trying not to be too obvious that he’s listening on purpose now.
“Just post a picture. Someone will want to hump your boot.”
“It’s not just that,” Stede says, exasperated. “That’s normal. If I post the Pleasure Boot 9000—”
“Still think that’s a stupid name.”
“—then everyone is going to think I’m a freak and block me.”
Series
- Part 48 of Smutty Gentlebeard AU one shots
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Stede’s breath shook as he stared at the model cabin in front of him without seeing anything. They had discussed the topic of free use without ever really getting the chance to put it into practice. If they weren’t busy, then the children were there, and when the children weren’t there, then one of them was sick.
So on and so forth, life got in the way—until this weekend. This weekend, they had no kids, no signs of sniffles, and nothing getting in their way. Boundaries and safe words had been rehashed last night, and Stede had entirely forgotten in the face of an afternoon with his hobby.
A battle of wills is about to go down in the Bonnet-Teach household. Who will come out on top?
written for the #BottomStedeWeekTurnsOne prompt 'free use'
Series
- Part 54 of Loose Canons (OFMD prompt fills)
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DILF Alert (this is not a drill) by buoymehome (Lilibel) for killerweasel
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
26 Dec 2024
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Stede is back at the cabin for the first time in forever. Now it's Jack job to ensure Izzy gets to live his fantasy, and to also get a taste of it all while he is at it. After all, the hot blonde is not sporting his wedding ring anymore. That must means something, surely.
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New boyfriends Ed and Stede go to a baseball game and end up on the kiss cam. I wonder how that's gonna go for them?
Series
- Part 3 of Fluffvember 2024
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[PODFIC] Just Keep Your Eyes On Me by KalansPhantom and Pastor_of_Muppets by cheesecake3
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
04 Nov 2024
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This is a podfic of "Just Keep Your Eyes On Me" by KalansPhantom and Pastor_of_Muppets. The first chapter was recorded as a contribution to the Our Flag Means Fanfiction podcast. All chapters have now been recorded!
Original summary:
Edward Teach is in love with his best friend and co-owner of Revenge Therapies, but he knows that nothing will ever happen between them. When he's invited to a BDSM convention to give a talk about Kink Aware Therapy, he decides to take it as a chance to unwind and maybe find a playmate in the scene to destress. Because, one of the other secrets he keeps away from Stede are the years he's spent as a dominant in the community.Instead, one Stede Bonnet appears wanting to support Ed as he runs his panel, except somehow the most oblivious man in the world appears to be completely unaware at just what sort of convention he's stumbled into.
Ed must protect this man at all costs.
Series
- Part 1 of Cheesecake3's Podfics
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For Kinktober day 24: Collars/ "Good Kitty"
Stede has a little surprise in store for Ed, and Ed is all too eager to find out!This fic is set in the universe of "Twilight & Dad's Garden Lemon Tree", and gets it's name from a cat-shaped seaweed sheet mask.
This work features stunning artwork by the absolutely lovely Jadey
Series
- Part 3 of Eevla's OFMD Kinktober 2024
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Summary
OFMD Drabble Week, Day 7:
Feast | Tidy | Surface
Steal | Sting | Exact
Blame | Circle | Deal
Series
- Part 7 of OFMD Drabble Week
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 300
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 1
- Hits:
- 24
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Summary
"Um, captain?" "Why yes Frenchie?" "Can't we have a fun night on the ship instead? Seems- " he's cut by a distant shriek, followed by gunshots - "safer...". Stede observes the unconvinced faces of his crew. And Ed's. He can't quite decipher his expression. But despite the shred of doubt that itches the back of his neck as he hears another chilling cry, the Revenge's captain is determined to paint the town red -poor choice of words, he thinks- and, hopefully, impress his poker faced friend. Friend. He pauses mid thought and realizes he's never really had the occasion to party with a friend before. With Ed. There had been that dreadful aristocrat socializing event, sure, but neither he, nor Ed, had really enjoyed that one - not until the very end at least. But he was gonna change that!
The Revenge has just been anchored in a very much safe and friendly habor, and Stede is determined to have a fun night out with Ed, their co-captain status now official. As he gives his all to impress and entertain his friend, -no doubt, that's what they are- the evening pushes Stede to realize some things. As his friend -yup, no doubt.- does his damnest to drive him insane, Ed is forced to come to terms with some stuff.
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podfic of "Feline Distribution System Victim Seeks Assistance" by Pastor_of_Muppets by Kninjaknitter
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
28 Aug 2024
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Ed wasn't expecting to find a random kitten on his walk home, but he also isn't going to leave the little guy. But it's also 1AM and none of his friends have cats. When a friend suggests checking a freecycle/buy nothing group, Ed figures, what's the harm. He's not expecting Stede Bonnet.
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Feline Distribution System Victim Seeks Assistance by Pastor_of_Muppets
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
26 Aug 2024
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Ed wasn't expecting to find a random kitten on his walk home, but he also isn't going to leave the little guy. But it's also 1AM and none of his friends have cats. When a friend suggests checking a freecycle/buy nothing group, Ed figures, what's the harm. He's not expecting Stede Bonnet.
Series
- Part 52 of Gospel of AU Months
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The morning after a storm, Ed inexplicably chooses to ignore the wiles of his attractive, loving, and horny husband in favor of checking the Revenge for damage. Stede's fine with it. Right? He said he was fine.
Stede is not fine with it, and Ed is in Trouble. ~Sexy Trouble.~
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As he takes in Stede’s wedding outfit, one word echoes throughout Ed’s mind as his executive functioning goes offline: kilt.
Kilt kilt kilt kilt kilt.
Stede is wearing a fucking kilt—it’s in a blue and green plaid, stopping an inch above his knees. His shapely calves were encased in tall white socks. He’s wearing a black formal jacket that emphasizes his broad torso. And he’s even wearing the little leather pouch thingy that people wear with kilts.
Stede smiles sweetly at Ed and does a little twirl. “What do you think?” he asks coyly.
What does Ed think? He thinks that if it were up to him, he and Stede would never make it out of this hotel room and to this stupid wedding.
~~~~~
Stede wears a kilt to a wedding he's in and is an entire menace about it; his boyfriend Ed is predictably incredibly horny about it.
Series
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Wanted space criminal Edward Teach hijacks a research ship and forms an unexpected alliance with the ship's catty navigation system.
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Stede is a cannibal, and Ed tries to see if the rumors about it are true (news flash, they are)
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“Hi all!” Stede sing-songs to the empty cabin. “Good evening and welcome aboard Revenge Air flight 1717 to Wherever The Wind Takes Us. Unusual name for a city, granted, but it does promise to be remarkably interesting what with its unparalleled views, inviting atmosphere, and handsome men. If you’re into that sort of thing, of course.” He winks at Ed. “I know I certainly am. And who am I, you might be wondering? So glad you asked! I’m Stede, I’ll be your captain here today -”
(a whirlwind pilot/flight attendant romance complete with both a Twist and a Twister)
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Confidence Builder by GayPirateAficionado, PolitestMenace (GayPirateAficionado)
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
15 Dec 2022
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Stede struggles as a new fencer throughout his first summer with Ed. How will he overcome his confidence problems?
Series
- Part 5 of Parry & Riposte
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Stede reunites with Ed, and unknowingly brings the English Navy along with him. King George is delighted to have captured the two runaway pirates and gives them an offer to quite literally fuck or die.