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The Blush On My Cheeks Is a Cover For the Blood Beneath It. by fallen_stxr
Fandoms: Merlin (TV)
10 May 2025
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The door opened.
The knife clatters to the ground, blood splatting on the wooden boards - a stalemate between the knight of light and the hungry void of evil. Merlin on the inside of the box of secrets - Arthur opening the door. Was Arthur discovering what hid in the dark or was he letting it consume him?
Eyes blurred and ears buzzed.
Merlin knew Arthur was asking for some sort of explanation, some sort of sequence or series events that led to Merlin’s… issue. Merlin knew that. But all he saw was a finger pointing at him. All he smelled was the coppery scent of blood. All he tasted was the contents of his stomach. All he felt was every point of his body pulsating under his flesh with a burning heat of shame. All he heard was ‘What did you do?’.
A blip of time passed, Stumbling drunkenly, perhaps, with the only intoxication being the rush of evil injected straight into his spine. Smashing the room, maybe, the only intention being a cry for help. But from who? Because who had he really let in, to his heart - his room - of darkness.
“I’ll kill you” Arthur stated
How did we get here? How did we get to Arthur giving up? How did we get to Merlin receiving his true punishment - his prize?
Series
- Part 15 of Mentally-Ill Merlin (Merthur)
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Merlin hates having someone voice his thoughts. It pushes him to break promises, pushes him to the brink of his strength, pushes him to his wit's end. It pushes him... out of a window.
Him and Arthur have a wholesome breakfast.
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The rock accelerated out of Merlin’s hand, shattering the window as it flew into the world. He placed his bare foot and hands on the sharp-edged ledge.Cold wind blew on his face, ignoring everything else. Just as his body was just about to fall, a wrist grabbed his ankle.
“Let go!” Merlin screamed out. His voice was warbly and raw.
“Are you insane?! No!” Gwaine shouted.
“Of course I am! Let me go!”
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Arthur hugged him tighter and Merlin raised his own hand to detach Arthur from his body.Arthur looked so torn. Heartfelt. Merlin looked broken. Empty.
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“Leave me alone!” he attempts to persuade. “Oh? How would I punish you for eating my cake then?!” Arthur says, cackling as he grabs Merlin by the legs, pulling him down to land on the bed. “Mine!” Merlin says, going to eat the last bite from his fingers.
Arthur rushes forward and takes the last 8th of the cake with his lips. “What a delight. The last bite of my cake."
Series
- Part 14 of Mentally-Ill Merlin (Merthur)
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TW: Suicide
A chain-link fence bit into his elbows, almost painfully. Someone had erected it. Probably a long time ago, if the rust coloring it orange were an indication. Most likely not structurally sound enough to hold his weight. But still here he was, trusting it with it. Far too close to the edge, too. And certainly not tall enough, easy enough to hop over. Before safety regulations were imposed, then.Still, someone had put it up, someone had tried to stop the action he was about to take.
He wondered if they still would have put in the effort if they knew who they were stopping. What monster they were attempting to keep back.
i.e Gwaine flirts Merlin off the edge
Series
- Part 6 of Dialogue I wrote in my notes app
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“Promise me you won't look back.” Arthur said, speaking through the fog.
Merlin swallowed. “You can't ask me that.”
“Merlin, promise me.”
Merlin didn't answer, unable to utter those simple words.
Series
- Part 92 of Merlin Bingo 2024
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only in the heart of the crystal cave will your true self be revealed. by gee (clotpolechrlie)
Fandoms: Merlin (TV)
14 Aug 2024
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After centuries of waiting, years of holding out hope for something that feels like it would never come, and cycles of depression and suicide ideation, Merlin finally tries to give into letting go. Mere seconds before this happens, Arthur arrives in all of his knight and shining armor glory. Arthur struggles to wrap his mind around the modern world, as well as weird feelings he doesnt quite understand. The two embark on a new journey , trying to find any remaining magic in the world to try to understand what destiny awaits them in this new world.
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Merlin is having a rough time coping with the consequences of his destiny and takes the worst possible step to avoid it. Lucky for him, Arthur cares a lot more than he realised.
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After Arthur’s death, Merlin has been struggling to find his place in the world and feeling like his life lost its meaning. He’s falling apart and there is nobody to rescue him so he makes his final decision, one that would end it all.
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To the Brows Laid In Thorn and Weapons Made of Words by ificouldwrite
Fandoms: Merlin (TV)
15 Jul 2023
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Arthur finds out about Merlin's magic prior to the events of season 5 and post-season 4. He goes into sullen silence to punish Merlin for lying to him, leaving Merlin in the interim of "does he want me dead or does he just need time?"
It leaves Merlin spiraling and Arthur to deal with the heart of Camelot, his heart, to deal with it.
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A drinking game gone wrong. A broken God. An insolent knight.
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When Mordred arrives in Camelot, all seems lost.
To Merlin, giving up on life seems to be the easiest - the only - solution.
His friends disagree.
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what went wrong, the first time.
Series
- Part 1 of The Son of the Triple Goddess
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How much is too much? Merlin has been trying to stay true to his beliefs, but his choices to fulfill his destiny turned out to be failures. Maybe ending it all is the only right decision? There is no one to stop him, after all.
Or is there?
Inspired by Aurora's song 'Runaway'.
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Merlin is all that's left of Avalon. After watching loved ones die, and kingdoms fall, none of it equated to the pain he felt when Arthur died.
But maybe Arthur won't be gone forever. After all: When Albion's need is greatest, King Arthur will rise again... if not in the way Merlin expected.%%%
I'm incapable of writing anything that isn't angst so TW for mental health issues, including thoughts and conversations about depression, self harm, suicide. Reader discretion is advised if these topics are triggering to you.
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Martin sighed, his knees knocking together awkwardly. He was 27, but he somehow carried himself in a way that seemed both old and young. He didn’t look like the kind of person that could hurt anyone.
“I’m Merlin.”
Alyssa blinked. “Excuse me?”Merlin goes to therapy.
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Merlin can't sleep while on a hunting trip with Arthur and the knights. He talks to a strange woman and doesn't realize he had been followed.
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Merlin desperately needs someone to call, too bad no one answers the phone.
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Merlin desperately needs someone to talk to, too bad no one picked up the phone.
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Merlin is giving up. Will you answer the phone?
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Merlin has swallowed two bottles of pills, and the taste of chalk is assaulting his tongue.
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At times, surviving is enough.