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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Gob wakes up in a mysterious apartment, hungover.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,588
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    84
  2. Tags
    Summary

    The Bluth family tries to hire a new lawyer. The lawyer has an uncanny resemblance to Lindsay and Tobias’s marriage counselor. Things get heated.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,458
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    1
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    24
  3. Tags
    Summary

    “It’s all vanity, it’s all an illusion, everything except that infinite sky.” -Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace

    St. Petersburg, 1805. Napoleon has embarked on his great and terrible crusade across Europe, but the battlefield seems worlds away to the wealthy and idle Bluth family, who spend their days dancing, dueling, sipping champagne, and speaking terrible French. Through the years of the Napoleonic Wars, the family is tested by fathers and sons, by crime and punishment, and by war and peace, but fortunately, they have one son to keep them all together.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    37,276
    Chapters:
    24/24
    Comments:
    37
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    270
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Michael takes downers to deal with his family. Unfortunately, said family isn't as oblivious as he'd like them to be.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,555
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    223
  5. Tags
    Summary

    After an incident at the Banana Stand, Michael accidentally hints to his son about a childhood story that George Michael hadn't heard yet. After Michael refuses to share, George Michael decides to do his own snooping for this new story.

    "“He got arrested?”

    “Well that’s what I heard, but I don’t know what for. I’m glad he was though, ‘cause none of us liked him. He was only nice to Michael. He was kind of creepy, to be honest…” Buster scratched his face. “Well, I’m gonna go now. Lunch will be ready soon- or, I’m gonna get lunch, because I don’t eat at Mom’s anymore,” he declared, before marching off.

    “Bye,” George Michael said faintly, before making his way back to the stand, the bad feeling in his gut from yesterday having grown about three times.

    The nature of this story has started to take a dark turn."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,329
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    43
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    281
  6. Tags
    Summary

    "𝐻𝑎𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝐷𝑎𝑑?"
    "𝑁𝑜𝑡 𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒 ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑚𝑒𝑑 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑤𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑𝑛'𝑡 𝑏𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 ℎ𝑖𝑚."
    "𝐷𝑜𝑒𝑠𝑛'𝑡 𝑖𝑡 𝑏𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑠𝑛'𝑡 𝑏𝑟𝑜𝑘𝑒𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒?"
    "𝐴𝑐𝑡𝑢𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦, 𝐺𝑒𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑒-𝑀𝑖𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑒𝑙, 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝑎 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑓."

    Michael has always been the one man in the dysfunctional, unstable and infamous Bluth family that's able to keep it from falling apart. He's so good at this that, no matter how many times he's sworn he would, he's never actually left it.

    So things take a turn when nobody hears from Michael in a suspiciously long amount of time. Scrambling to get ahold of him and get him back, the family tries to stick together on their own. What they realize is that it's hard keeping a circus all in one pen without a few bulls shoving through the cracks. And, damn, they are one hell of a circus.

    -

    Taking place after series five.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    52,183
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    49
    Kudos:
    71
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    2,042
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Michael and George Michael have moved to Phoenix for a respite from the insanity of the Bluths. But it seems that the development of their family life had not quite been arrested…

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,855
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    401
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Sometimes getting married isn't easy, especially if you marry an inept man whom you don't love. But it's not so lonely with the right people around you.

    title from "slipping through my fingers" by abba.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,020
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    167
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Michael Bluth is sick of his family: Lindsay, who uses her brain for nothing other than focusing on how she looks, Gob, who can’t find it within his heart to care about anyone but himself and Buster, who’s too cowardly to function on his own. And with his Mom and his Dad constantly demanding more from him, things are more stressful than ever. Deciding he’s had enough, he sets off for Arizona with his son once again…But that’s not exactly where he ends up. He may not know where on Earth he is but one thing’s for sure, he knows he’s not in California anymore.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,486
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    357
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Lindsay was working on a new activism campaign, and her hopes that it would ever reach its final stages (fraud, money laundering) were dwindling very quickly. She didn't really even care about saving marine wildlife, to be honest. They could eat as much plastic as they wanted- who was Lindsay to stop them? Beside her apathy towards the topic, she had just realized that serving seafood at the function might be distasteful, and if she couldn't have crab bruschetta at her charity events, there was simply no point in having one at all.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,814
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    79
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Gob makes a huge mistake and has to call Tony for help.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,237
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    303
  12. Tags
    Summary

    The year is 2003. Secret Services has one big secret that no one knows about. The elite BM project, started in 1987, has been covertly creating genetically modified humans with two unique features: bright blue skin, and cold blooded killer instincts. These assassins, known to a select few as the Blue Men, always hunt in packs of three. Each man is deadly and precise—a creature of the shadows. A Blue Man has never disobeyed the administration, never left the facility except for designated missions. But what happens when a freshly formed trifecta finds themselves drawn in by the bright lights and pounding drums of New York City? There's only one way to find out...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,618
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    149
  13. Tags
    Summary

    It's Bring Your Daughter To Work Day (S1 E21) and George Michael is having some gender-based realizations.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,450
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    46
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    298
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Michael Bluth is doing his best to make sure the company doesn't stay in the hands of Lucille 2.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,145
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    272
  15. Tags
    Summary

    And now the story of the Bluth siblings, and the different struggles they go through when talking to their family about their future spouses for the first time. It's Arrested Development.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,827
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    51
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    635
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Gob has disappeared yet again, this time, having run off after setting Tracey’s dress on fire at her and Michael’s wedding. Tracey finds this concerning but the rest of the family doesn’t seem to be on the same page. After some convincing, she gets Michael to help her look for his brother and her, now, brother-in-law and they’re taken all across Orange County in their search for the missing eldest son of the Bluth family.
    And, while that’s going down, Lindsay and Tobias decide to take it to the next step in their relationship, whatever that means, and Lucille deals with a pesky thief stealing what she holds most dear.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,074
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    372
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Michael is having a terrible night. His brother helps by making it worse.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,539
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    45
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    798
  18. Tags
    Summary

    After waking up from his coma, ISIS agent Sterling Archer has to come to terms with what changed while he was gone.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,705
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Kudos:
    10
    Hits:
    1,335
  19. Tags
    Summary

    a couple of imagines and oneshots of the Bluths

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    215
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Kudos:
    14
    Hits:
    961
  20. Tags
    Summary

    When Michael Bluth stumbled into the model home on Cinco, he hadn't been expecting to find a man in his brother's bathrobe eating cereal.

    He also hadn't been expecting to hear that his brother, the most stereotypical alpha-male type to ever exist, was an Omega but life was full of surprises. Especially if you were a Bluth.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,971
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    46
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    1,030

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