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  1. Tags
    Summary

    John stared at the eyeless muse, waiting for her to crack a joke or at least a smile. Something to let the poor kid know that this wasn't what was actually waiting for him--for all of them--so close to the end of the game. No such solace came, and a dull memory began to flicker in the back of the teenager's head, one that burned hot for just a moment before fading quietly into a migraine waiting to happen. A memory of himself and his ectobiological sister. And a movie he hadn't realized was as AWFUL as it was.

     

    "So, is being a shitty writer a requirement for cherubs, or is it a family trait?"

     

    The Heir of Breath is recruited by Alternate Calliope to help ensure Homestuck^2 never happens. The clearest way to make it work is to force the game to run a patch before its completion, but it will require a lot of work on John's end, and the results are something no one but Alt Calliope and her increasingly fed up editor could have expected. John has never felt closer to the Makaras, and as time goes on, the feelings start to be reciprocated.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    94,436
    Chapters:
    34/?
    Comments:
    256
    Kudos:
    292
    Bookmarks:
    45
    Hits:
    6,865
  2. Tags
    Summary

    JAYNEY: Easy as pie!

    That’s what she said.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,529
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    40
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Carcinization is a form of convergent evolution in which non-crabs evolve a crab-like body plan.

    Or: I turned Dave into Karkat and made him and the real Karkat cuddle about it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,469
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    289
  4. Tags
    Summary

    After beating Bo Katan for the right to rule, Din’s plan was to listen to and troll his baar’ur, ease into being leader of the Mando’ade, and fumble his way through the galaxy. Most of his family DO NOT WANT HIM TO BE MAND’ALOR.

    Well, Dee, the Force, and Destiny, have thoughts on this. They have many, many thoughts.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    62,469
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    408
    Kudos:
    1,168
    Bookmarks:
    283
    Hits:
    24,045
  5. Tags
    Summary

    The door opens and its light is a blinding one. The kind that sears your eyes and causes a pain in your skull and a ringing in your ears. The kind that scrapes your soul and body clean alike. The kind that unmakes you. And unmade, the players are. A mere eight humans, a measly three trolls, unmade and brought into a universe that isn't theirs, per say...

    But is eerily familiar to a few.

    It's like waking from a coma. Alternia exists again, untouched by the meteor, three years ahead of when they last saw it. Like the game never happened at all. But they're all still here. And it is all of them that are here, because the humans came along with, but they're not exactly human anymore.

    With only a few sweeps left before the empire comes calling, is there time enough for the young gods to settle onto Alternia? And what of all the others who played the game but didn't get a chance to step through the door? And what can even be done about Her Imperious Condescension, her revived empire, and her horrorterror lusus?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,953
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    31
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    428
  6. Tags
    Summary

    The game's over. They've won. And they're all trolls now.

    What better to do than send inane messages all night?

    (Trollstuck told through pesterlogs. And other formats eventually, as I'm going to get into a lot of my troll biology/culture headcanons!)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,576
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    71
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    1,050
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Little did you know, the real kerfuffle was just about to start.

    In which two greenbloods and a bronzeblood talk about what it means to be the conciliatory quadrantmate to a highblood, and we learn about what life was like before and after the coronation of Her Imperial Commiseration, Feferi Peixes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,305
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    148
  8. Tags
    Summary

    The meteor crew are over halfway through their three year journey, when a late night boredom-induced state of understimulation sends Dave and Karkat on an unanticipated journey through the labs. This feels like it might make their trip just a tad more strange...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,178
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    62
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    796
  9. Tags
    Summary

    idk cannibalistic erigam, gamzee eats eridans dead body lol

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    441
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    12
    Hits:
    120
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Your name is THORND LARRSO, and you are 5 SWEEPS OLD.

    You proclaim yourself an ARDENT GUNNER, with your wall of MILITARY GRADE ARMAMENT at the ready. Finding such fine equipment was no easy task, but you have managed to TRADE and BARGAIN your way into quite the collection. You are very PROUD of it, even if it is often a point of COMPLETELY RATIONAL PARANOIA, considering the SLUMS you live in.

    ---

    In which four young trolls become friends.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,182
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    43
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    535
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Karlach gasped. “A circus!” she whirled towards Tav excitedly. “Can we go? Please?” she begged.

    “Normally I’d be all for it, but,” Tav motioned toward the path onward to Baldur’s Gate, “I’m not exactly sure it’s the best of ideas right now, we are on something of a time crunch…”

    “Pleeeease?” Karlach pleaded.

    “I agree with Tav here,” Gale interjected. “I don’t believe we have the luxury of stopping for entertainment when the Absolute is on the loose.”

    Karlach stomped her foot and pouted. “I’ll start crying you know. Right here, in public.”

    Tav sighed. “Funny as that would be, please don’t.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,174
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    43
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    881
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Four trollstuck beta kid breakdowns, four trollstuck beta kid murderstucks.
    Each chapter/timeline follows one of their breakdowns, which is themed after the murderstuck breakdowns in canon, albeit exaggerated.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,548
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    25
    Hits:
    351
  13. Tags
    Summary

    John had been expecting a lot of things after the game. Well, no. That’s a lie. (Honestly, when would he have time to worry about the so-called “Ultimate reward” when he was fighting for his life?) But he had expected something.

    His gut had told him that they would be remaking earth or whatever. Either living out in the medium or making a whole new planet entirely. Or that they would open the door and a planet would just… be there.

    Everything going black wasn’t in the cards.

    Less so was walking up in some goo trap.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,720
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    74
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    832
  14. Tags
    Summary

    All of these are posted separately on my page if you ever want to look at a specific one, but I would prefer to have them all in one place and am having trouble adding them to a collection after they've been published. Any necessary warnings will take place in the beginning notes, along with a short summary of the piece. All of these stories are strictly Davekat and other minor ships as background characters, but it will focus on Dave and Karkat no matter what! Hope you enjoy!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    162,794
    Chapters:
    54/?
    Comments:
    282
    Kudos:
    441
    Bookmarks:
    33
    Hits:
    12,313
  15. Tags
    Summary

    In what is now precious few hours, the drones will arrive to deliver you onto the doorstep of your genetic progenitor, where either you will kill your remaining genetic opposition and live to oversee the entire alternian empire; or you will die- a fate that is not tenable.

    As the barren plane of ocean floor lightens outside the thick sheet of ply-glass designed to take the pressure, long shadows etch the walls in darkness, and shifting longer still... In the dense wateric gravity, the fabric of your clothes catches as you pace. There's nothing else to do.

    ~

    Jane Crocker, translocated into alternian society, fuschia heiress at the heart of the empire- inheritance day.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,651
    Chapters:
    1/3
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    32
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Prompt: Rose and Feferi are the last remaining seadwellers on Alternia. They decide to work together to defeat the Condesce.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    533
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    123
  17. Tags
    Summary

    A few weeks after coronation, the new empress receives an unusual petition.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,177
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    125
  18. Tags
    Summary

    A place to dump my one shots, probably all Iruka centered, probably all crack-esque.

    UPDATE: Not just crack-esque, we've gone full tilt.

    Pairings will be listed in the chapter title.

    UPDATE 2: It's Kaka/Iru. It's all KakaIru

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,946
    Chapters:
    16/100
    Comments:
    91
    Kudos:
    242
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    3,612
  19. Tags
    Summary

    [The first two chapters are really bad but I am continuing writing just cause]
    The kids and trolls swap races mysteriously!
    Follow each of our favorites as they tussle with a new and strange world

    Some of the trolls and kids will most likely only get content if requested because I'm bad at writing a lot of them lol, so if you want a character done just ask!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,759
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    111
  20. Tags
    Summary

    The newly-forged gods of a new universe cross the threshold into their ultimate reward, but something is obviously not right. The players find themselves back on Earth and Alternia, still possessed of their godhood. The strangest thing, though, is that human players have woken up as trolls, and vice-versa. Something or someone has tempered with the game right at its conclusion.

    I mean, no way this can be the actual ultimate reward.

    Now the players, scattered across two planets and among civilizations they only have second-hand knowledge of at best, must find each other and figure out what went wrong. And also, hopefully, they can take this opportunity to figure out some stuff about themselves along the way...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,390
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    60
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    935

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