author is projecting on to Phainon rip
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we may remember the past, but the present hurts much more to me by Witchofthyme29
Fandoms: 崩坏：星穹铁道 | Honkai: Star Rail (Video Game)
20 Jul 2025
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Summary
It had been years since they’d seen each other. Close friends during high school and had gotten closer during college and then they simply went their own paths after college. Phainon was fine. Why wouldn’t he be? It was bound to happen. He was simply from the country, the son of farmers. He wasn’t born to wealth like Mydeimos had been. He didn’t have that same pressure. When he came out to his parents as trans and bi, it went well. He didn’t expect Mydei to do the same with his parents.
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Goldweaver: Phainon?
Deliverer: I’m not just a clown
Deliverer: I’m the entire fucking circus
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He looks up at his ceiling, sleep evading him. ‘Why did he have to witness that interaction? Damn it. Embarrassing.’ His mind thinks back to the life before this one. 30 million cycles? He had killed Mydei. Of course the prince wouldn’t want to be with him. That made sense. He groaned into the empty room, “stupid, stupid, stupid- how could I be so stupid? I don’t even know if he remembers the past.” Phainon was exhausted. Emotionally, mentally, physically- he was tired. He blamed himself still for the others deaths, while they were prepared. It was still his fault.