bc ofc he does
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Prickles by CozyVaquita for theSealby
Fandoms: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
14 Feb 2022
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Sylvain's done Valentine's Day before. Just not with Felix.
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overwhelmed by the sight in front of him porsche, stupidly, says “oh, it’s you.”
pete’s eyebrow raises. he’s not quick enough to completely hide the frown that flashes across his face before he replaces it with a simple, empty uptick of his lips.
“were you expecting someone else?”
or: pete and porsche wake up in the same bed together and do the most obvious thing and fuck
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You meet a cute cowboy in a bar.
He teaches you a lot about riding..... ;)
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Saint Lily Cookie. Savior of the Faeries. The Saint of the Faeries. The Saint of the Ancients. And…she can’t do it. Saint Lily, mentally burdened by Dark Enchantress, struggles with the inner turmoil of withholding evil. Pure Vanilla acts as an emotional support.
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“i’m doing a social experiment and writing about it,” taehyung says easily. “i decided to handcuff two people together for twenty-four hours and have them report back to me on the experience. you guys are an ideal pair for this, really, because of your contradictory lifestyles. kookie goes to the gym every day, yoongi hasn’t seen the sun in what, four years -“
“jungkook has a semi-healthy sleep schedule, and yoongi texted me at two a.m. asking if i want to grab dinner,” namjoon supplies.
“i am the pinnacle of health,” yoongi snaps. the handcuffs clink as jungkook lifts their arms.
“so you just. handcuffed us together while we were sleeping?"
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Harry is accused of burglary. The Dursleys leave him to rot. Dumbledore sends Snape to remedy the situation. Harry finds himself in the care of an irate Snape. Not slash, gen-fic w/ focus on Sevitus relationship. Angst galore. Warnings: coarse and suggestive language, mentions of abuse/neglect. Un-betaed and un-Britpicked.
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“I sometimes beat the shit out of guys who come on to you.” He said it slowly so he would never have to say it again.
Jungkook’s jaw slackened.
“You—what?“ he breathed out. “You—how long have you been doing th—that?”
“Since we started dating,” Namjoon admitted. “August.”
“Ah,” Jungkook said, “And how many guys have you beaten the shit out of?”
“Like five,” Namjoon sighed.
“Five! Five?! That’s like almost once a month!”
“Yeah…that’s about right.”
--or--
5 times Kim Namjoon (against all his non-violent instincts) beats the shit out of somebody for his boyfriend's honor.
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Bookmarked by confetticanon
07 Oct 2020
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Bookmarker's Notes
Oct 24 2020
God this is so fucking FUNNY, one of the best things I’ve ever read TBH. if ur thinking abt reading this u NEED TO.
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“That guy from the coffee shop yesterday—the one who made me that really good latte—he sent me five pictures of his dick on instagram overnight,” Jungkook whispered, miserable, looking around. The spot was popular with faculty. People over the age of forty were everywhere. “I had to wake up to them. I wanted to text you but I didn’t know how to say it… what words to use… it was so gross. Why would he do something like that?”
“He didn’t say?” Namjoon asked, eyebrows arched, sardonic. “But actually, I already knew. He messaged me first. He thought I was you.”
“What?”
“You used my card and that’s how he got the name. He tracked me down, I told him to fuck off, and then he found you from my account.”
“Well, that sounds illegal. But—oh my god,” Jungkook said, burying his face in his hands. “I want to not see that guy again, but that’s torture! I love that coffee shop! No offense,” he said, dropping his voice, “But everybody here is like fifty.”
“So what should we do?”
“Nothing,” Jungkook moped. “We could always go to Starbucks.”
“Wouldn’t I rather die,” Namjoon said, narrowing his eyes. “Than give into the mass commercialization of coffee. The beans they use at our café are grown and sold by indigenous communities in Chile without an exploitative middle-man!”
“Okay, but they’re ground up and steamed with milk by a pervert!”
“I know, I know…. Maybe he just works Wednesdays?”
“Let’s hope.”
Namjoon took a sip. “What did the dick look like?”
“Oh my god, Joon,” Jungkook said in a low voice, serious, “It looks like somebody rolled an expired Italian sausage through a rat’s nest.”
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Namjoon intends to spend the Purge like he does every year. Holed up in his apartment, pretending like he's not there and hoping that his neighbours or the government don't decide to kill him.
He doesn't expect one of his neighbours to bang on the door during the Purge, begging to be let in.
And he definitely doesn't expect to be stupid enough to open the door.
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“Sometimes I think nobody will ever love me for the real me? I think Hyeon-u thought he loved me. But as things unravelled..” Namjoon trails off. He continues, “but I’m trying to learn how to fall in love with myself instead. That way, my self-love is the only one that matters.” Despite the sadness tracing his features, Namjoon smiles, his dimples appearing.
Seokjin feels a crack go through his heart. He should confess. He should say something. Like I love you, Namjoon. For all your good and bad sides. You are worthy of love. Let me love you. His throat closes up and his lips glue together.
or: Seokjin has been in love with Namjoon for a long time and when Namjoon suddenly breaks up with his boyfriend, Seokjin is left staggering.