Crying_xc
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Summary
He couldn't, wouldn’t allow his desire to be let known to someone, as his sickness would then entangle apart of them, into their soul, leading to the inevitable rip of his heart and the loss of half his soul now fused into another.
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Maybe it was fate, maybe it was God telling him to let it be, to not make a fool of himself, but the lyrical beats continued to spill out from beneath the door.
Jake wants to meet his guitarist neighbor.
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Johnnie thinks every human deserves to be happy. Johnnie wasn't human. He was a freakish humanoid feigning socially acceptable mannerisms in an attempt to appease those surrounding him. At this point, Johnnie wasn't sure he was even a ‘thing.’ Maybe he was imaginary, maybe his life was a lie.
He ran his mind through every embarrassing disaster and fuck up.
He thinks this might be his new favourite pastime.
The scars on his wrists itched.
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He had gotten better at this. He had it all under control. He tried to ignore the box of razor blades underneath his bed. He tried forcing hunger, tried not to puke when he ate. Johnnie looked around his room; he grabbed one of the many bottles of liquor dispersed around, courtesy of gifts from party-goers. He tried not to gag as he downed the bottle.
Johnnie is in a depressive episode. He meets Jake.
Recent bookmarks
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Maybe that's what makes life interesting, the collision of endless questions and answers, and those precious moments of triumph when we can match the right ones together. Once upon a time, Panic went to a cabin in the mountains to write an album they never made. One night there, something happened that Ryan tried to forget. Two years later, he still hasn't.
Note: 90% of this fic was written by behindthec. I just fail at the whole "chapter by" thing /Red
Series
- Part 1 of PCCF
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Cherry Is My Favorite Flavor (And So Are You) by tacks4snacks
Fandoms: Panic! at the Disco
08 Feb 2024
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Alcoholism was a curse and a blessing if it meant living this way. More excuses to get away meant more excuses to hide his feelings. If everything he said made no sense, it had meaning to it.
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Ryan Ross can't help falling for his friend, that only grew stronger when Spencer invites him over. Ryan chalked it up to friendly teasing, but the butterflies burning in his stomach say otherwise.
-- slow updates, wrote this like a year ago and never finished it.
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It's 1999. Jake Webber lives in a small town in Kansas in the back of a trailer park. His life is simple and he doesn't hate it or think about it all too much. A family moves in across from them -- the Guilberts. They've got a son around his age, Johnnie Guilbert. Jake's mom insists that he should make some friends. He won't. He refuses!
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Stan’s not sure why he thought it was a good idea to kick off his summer by driving to Florida with his friends. Things are only made more complicated when none of them can get along, nostalgia causes emotions to run high, and Kenny McCormick became the guy of Stan’s dreams seemingly overnight.
Series
- Part 1 of Pulling Trig
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Johnnie is obsessed with this random guy he met at a party and doesn't really know what to do with himself. Maybe the rando Jake guy is also obsessed with him...it's hard to tell. He keeps driving five hours up to where he lives just to hang out with him, and letting him stay in his house, wanting to collab on everything together, and the way he looks at him...but it could all just be in Johnnie's imagination. It probably is. Does this guy have his schedule memorized or is it all just convenient timing?