SaltyPendeja (Saltypendeja)
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Summary
In his sixth year, Draco reaches for the only shard of sanity he can find, and puts his desperate faith into magic, the thing that has always set him apart as a pureblood wizard. The magic he unleashes though, is old, powerful, and maybe even more desperate than Draco himself, to leave an essence of life behind.
The little bump isn't what he needs to carry out his mission, but it might be the thing that saves him.
Bookmarked by SaltyPendeja (Saltypendeja)
17 Oct 2025
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Hermione Granger and the Get Along Shirt by Secretly_A_Mermaid
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
14 Jan 2025
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Summary
“In summary,” said Professor McGonagall, glancing down at her incident report, “You put Mr. Potter and Mr. Malfoy in a ‘Get Along Shirt’, which is, as I understand it, a muggle tradition intended to mend estranged relationships.”
“Friendships,” Hermione said, her voice hollow and weak. “It’s meant for friendships.“
“And you re-entered the room to find them inside the shirt…?”
“They—“ Hermione cut herself off, looking positively green. Her mouth bobbed open and closed, her eyes fixed in a haunted, thousand-yard stare.
Colin snickered. “They were inside the Get Along Shirt, alright. One inside the other.”
TLDR; Hermione forces a feuding Harry and Draco into a magical Get Along Shirt, inspired by her childhood summers at muggle camp. She returns to find them in a compromising position.
Series
- Part 6 of Drarry Fics
Bookmarked by SaltyPendeja (Saltypendeja)
06 Oct 2025
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Harry Potter and the Magical Complexities of Psychometry by Secretly_A_Mermaid
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
07 Jan 2025
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Summary
Psychometry: the art of gleaning clairvoyant insights about a person by touching or holding an object once possessed by them.
Harry Potter hears voices in his head. When he was a small child at Aunt Petunia’s, they were only murmurs— vague, quiet, mumbling murmurs, like he was hearing them speak through several feet of water. Ten years later, they’ve become loud as fuck. These voices have full-blown conversations about Harry like he’s not even there.
Harry has worked so hard to keep his apparent schizophrenia a secret. The-boy-who-lived gets enough bad press as-is. Then Draco catches Harry talking to himself in an empty toilet, and all that hard work goes to shite.
Harry Potter hears voices in his head.
Draco Malfoy thinks he’s batshit insane.
TLDR; When Voldemort turned magical objects into horcruxes, parts and pieces of their past owners’ souls got mixed up inside. Poor Harry gets a baker’s dozen of godfathers and godmothers along for the ride. Some good, some evil. But boy howdy, are they talkative.
Series
- Part 5 of Drarry Fics
Bookmarked by SaltyPendeja (Saltypendeja)
06 Oct 2025
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Summary
Draco gets assigned to infiltrate a muggle Harry Potter book release party. At the party he gets exposed to Drarry and has a minor freak out!
Join him as he desperately tries to figure out what kind of fic he's in and how he answers the question, "Do you ship drarry?"Excerpt:
“Not a big deal?” Draco growled. “I bet Potter would think it was a pretty big deal.”Hermione grimaced, “More likely Harry will think-”
“Think what?” Draco said through clenched teeth, cutting her off. “He’ll think ‘Draco Malfoy is up to something,’ is that what you were going to say?”
Macmillan huffed a laugh, “Wow,” he said, staring at Draco. Draco glared at him. “Sorry,” Macmillan raised his hands in a sign of surrender, “just, I’ve read that tag so many times but hearing it in your posh accent really brings it to life.”
"Shut up, Ernie," Hermione said.
"Shutting up."
- Language:
- English
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- 12,280
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 465
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- 2,678
- Bookmarks:
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Bookmarked by SaltyPendeja (Saltypendeja)
10 Aug 2025
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Summary
Bruce’s hand is in Clark’s hair. That’s not really what he should be focused on right now– he’s meant to be using his senses, listening to a backroom deal that’s supposed to be happening in one of the private rooms. Also, Bruce’s cock is in his mouth.
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Bruce and Clark go undercover for a case.Bookmarked by SaltyPendeja (Saltypendeja)
26 Jul 2025