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Ask anyone: Edward Teach is the greatest pro surfer in the world. Or, he was. Now he’s retired, and burnt out, and okay maybe possibly dealing with a bit of untreated clinical depression. He hasn’t stepped foot in the water in almost two years—can’t even bring himself to go for a dip in the private pool at his fancy apartment complex, although not for lack of trying. Enter: Stede Bonnet. Also known as Pool DILF. Also also known as the love of Ed’s life. And love makes us do crazy things. Like maybe pretending you don’t know how to swim so your crush will offer to teach you.
What could go wrong?
A Reverse Big Bang collab with Sailor's Ruin!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 46,748
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 819
- Kudos:
- 376
- Bookmarks:
- 77
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- 6,457
Bookmarked by a_grayson
28 Jul 2025
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"Hey Iz. Got offered another job so won't be coming back. Cheers."
*
What if Ed went to meet Stede when the Revenge ran aground? Canon AU.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 28,492
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 478
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- 839
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- 11,344
Bookmarked by a_grayson
21 Jul 2025
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Edward Teach has been living as Blackbeard, a world famous DJ, for too long. He hides his face behind a mask and finds that he's losing himself further and further in the persona he's tired of dragging on. The only thing that's ever cheers him up are kitten videos, one especially, a man that goes by the Furry Gentleman.
When he sees their rescue is looking for fosters Ed sees a chance for him to step away from Blackbeard and see just who Ed is.
Series
- Part 9 of Twitfics/Skyfics
Bookmarked by a_grayson
13 Jul 2025
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The bodysuit squeaks as he pulls it on. Tight. Tight tight tight. It clings to the rolls of his belly, flesh overflowing the edge of each pressing hemline. Stede adjusts his cock to hang through the cut-out crotch. Stede drags latex against skin until his nipples poke through the holes in the front.
Ed watches from the armchair in the corner. Sipping at a whiskey on the rocks, he surveys every move Stede makes in silence.
Bookmarked by a_grayson
08 Jul 2025
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“I get it, Stede, but if you want someone to go on your sexual mad scientist journey with you, you can’t do it here."
Ed’s ears perk up. He had already noticed the two men at the table behind him from his seat at the bar—at least the blond one, with his out of place shimmering gold silk shirt and tight black jeans. From the body language, he can tell that one is Stede. He cocks his head slightly, trying not to be too obvious that he’s listening on purpose now.
“Just post a picture. Someone will want to hump your boot.”
“It’s not just that,” Stede says, exasperated. “That’s normal. If I post the Pleasure Boot 9000—”
“Still think that’s a stupid name.”
“—then everyone is going to think I’m a freak and block me.”
Series
- Part 48 of Smutty Gentlebeard AU one shots
Bookmarked by a_grayson
04 Jul 2025