beetnik
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The thing is, Castiel-as-a-human isn’t actually all that different from Castiel-as-an-angel. He’s still sarcastic and nerdy and stubborn as hell.
(He’s also still beautiful, but that’s surprised no one, least of all Dean.)
Case in point regarding all that stubbornness, he’s been working his way through about a thousand seasons of some British show about a doctor. After Metatron had implanted thousands of pop culture references into his brain, Cas had been determined to consume all the media they’d come from, so he could say he got them honestly. And by god, he’s been trying.
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So the funny thing is, healing doesn’t stop. It’s not something you just up and do one day and then you’re fine. It’s a process, as Robin constantly reminds him.
And it’s something Steve tries to remember, both on the days when he thinks he’s doing alright and days when he actively is not. Those latter days are fewer and further in between lately, but he isn’t where he wants to be yet, and that’s okay.
Right now, almost a year after the last stirrings of the Upside Down, where he wants to be is twofold. The first is to not be shaken awake by nightmares of leathery wings and rows of teeth and too much blood and the sound of a voice echoing in his ears, asking Steve why he’d left him behind to rot.
The other goal is, more immediately, to not be on this date anymore.
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“Are you sure about this?” Martin sobs, clutching him tightly.
“No. But I love you.” If Jon can offer any assurance, it’s that. If Martin somehow survives this, at least he’ll never have to question if he was loved.
“I love you too,” Martin whispers, and presses their lips together for a last kiss. Jon leans into it, then feels a burning pain in his chest.
As the building collapses around and atop them, Jonathan Sims dies.
.
The happy ending is that they wake up Somewhere Else. The hard part is remembering how to live.
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Back on the old world, Jon was used to the way panic felt. It would start with his hands, it always started in his hands. He would lose all grip in his fingers, often drop whatever he was holding. He’d feel an influx of stomach acid, then he’d clench his jaw against the sudden nausea. His chest would tighten and breathing would become a chore. And his knees would give out -- he’d lost track of how many bruises he’d gotten from trying not to fall when he was overtaken by fear. Which was often.
But it’s been a few months here, a few beautiful, safe months, and he hasn’t felt those things in a long while. He’d forgotten how it felt to be stricken with the sudden, palpable certainty that you or the one you loved were moments from death.
But he feels it again now.
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Cas asks Dean to marry him, and Dean can't think of a reason to say no.
~~~
"Dean," Cas says calmly, gingerly sitting his fork down, and oh, this is gonna be a thing, Dean can tell. Sure enough, it is because Cas goes on to say, "What would you think if I suggested we get married?"
Dean blinks and swallows the food in his mouth, staring at Cas curiously. "I would think...you were either on drugs or going insane, why?"
"I'm not inebriated, nor mentally unstable."
"I—I…" Dean takes in a deep breath, then blows it out heavily. "Cas, you're not fucking with me, are you?"
"I'm not," Cas tells him.
"Okay," he says, "fuck it, let's get hitched."
"Thank you," Cas murmurs sincerely, then picks his fork back up and goes right back to eating.
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Bookmarked by beetnik
19 Feb 2025
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”I mean,” Minho shrugs, “I can sleep on the couch.”
The man’s eyes go wide. “You’re sure? That doesn’t make you uncomfortable?”
”I’m okay with it if you are,” Minho shrugs again. “It’s kind of too late to do anything about it.”
“I’m okay with it, but how do I know you aren’t planning to kill me?” The man frowns, shielding himself slightly behind the door.
“That's the risk we both have to take.”
His eyes narrow, but he smiles. “Touche.” The man steps back and gestures for Minho to come in.
(OR: After a breakup, Minho wants a getaway from Christmas. The man in his Airbnb is making that difficult.)
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Bookmarked by beetnik
21 Dec 2024
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Blink three times when you feel it kicking in by hanzzai for harapeko
Fandoms: Stray Kids (Band)
20 Oct 2024
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Jisung breathes in, blinks. His hair is half-covering his face, half-curling on his neck. His neck, long and pretty and unmarked. “Do you wanna kiss me?”
“Yes,” Minho admits. Easily. “Do you?”
“I don’t know,” Jisung sucks on his bottom lip for a moment. “I don’t wanna be used just because you’re curious.”
“You can use me too,” Minho suggests before he can stop himself. “We can use each other.”
or: Lee Minho and the mortifying ordeal of having a sexuality crisis in your mid-twenties.
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Bookmarked by beetnik
08 Dec 2024
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“I’m calling from the Seoul National Medical Centre. We have you listed here as the emergency contact for a Han Jisung. Do I have the right person?”
(Three years ago, Minho broke Jisung's heart with a single phone call. It's ironic then, that the universe decides to return the favour.)
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- Part 1 of hbm verse
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Bookmarked by beetnik
05 Nov 2024
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Chan turns to him as if he could hear his name from inside Jisung’s mind. Jisung stares back and sees a sense of responsibility polished into shining brass, blood and sweat and tears and happiness and seven years of his own life. “The members will always care about you.”
“I know.” Jisung really does. And yet it’s digging into his side, gilded and razor-sharp: the selfish, irrational urge to keep Minho as close as he can, to share the same walk home, to follow the same patterns until they’re old and decrepit, until they’re six feet underground, even after that.
(Or, the one where Jisung is not coping well with the realization that he and Minho will eventually go their separate ways.)
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Bookmarked by beetnik
17 Oct 2024