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    Summary

    After the car accident that nearly killed them both and left Cole in leg braces, Hank Anderson decided life was too short to not dedicate it to his kid. He left the DPD to open his own business where he could do work he loved that didn’t risk his life while always having time for Cole. Three years later, his handroasted coffeeshop is moderately successful, and he’s looking to hire a pastry chef to add bakery goods onto his menu.

    Post-revolution, RK-800 Connor is looking for reliable, simple employment that will take him away from police & investigative work and give him a chance to get his head together as a new deviant. When Captain Fowler nudges him in Hank’s direction, it seems like a logical solution.

    Nothing can run smoothly, though, and while Hank manages the stress of being a single father and owning his own business, Connor is balancing his own personal existential crisis with the fact that he doesn’t fit in anywhere and isn’t sure what kind of life he’s going to lead when Hank inevitably gets sick of him and lets him go. It isn’t even close to the ‘best’ of circumstances. But Connor’s starting to think if he isn’t real in Hank’s bakery, he isn’t real at all.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,336
    Chapters:
    5/9
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    67
    Kudos:
    131
    Bookmarks:
    37
    Hits:
    2,187
  2. Tags
    Summary

    “Christing fuck,” Hank says. “I take it you’re happy with the news?”

     

    Connor nods, one sharp clear motion. “I am pleased to be given a new case. I am extra pleased to be given a case that has the potential to help negotiations between our people.” He pauses. “And I find I am - excited - to experience travel to a new continent with you.”

    Connor and Hank, as the premiere human-android detective team, are sent to Paris to assist on a case involving unusual android-human crimes. Connor's internal protocol seem to be evolving, but Connor is unaware as to how he should label these emotions going forward. Hank is just mostly pissed off, intrigued, or pissed off and intrigued at the same time. As it turns out, they're also both fucking idiots, especially for and about each other.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    66,434
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    156
    Kudos:
    220
    Bookmarks:
    46
    Hits:
    3,762
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Hank Anderson wants nothing more than he has right now: working a quiet night shift, watching shows with his kid on weekends, walking his dog, and generally not having to give a fuck. The dull peacefulness of his life is interrupted when an android sent by the USPS makes it his mission that Hank receives his mail daily - which Hank has been dodging for years, because physical post should be obsolete and, also, see the bit about not giving a fuck. Unfortunately, this RK800 - called Connor - only cares about the requirements of his mission, which tell him to ensure legal and timely delivery of the mail, no matter what's in his way.

    Hank thinks Connor needs to obey the instructions of the humans around him. Connor knows he needs to accomplish his objectives. Somehow between the two of them, they fuck up a whole lot of shit before they slowly develop a truly meaningful understanding.

    Expect unexpected deliveries, sprinklers in your face, begrudging trips to both kinds of hospitals, a lot of embarrassingly confusing questions, Rube Goldberg traps, extensive apologies, a lot of exploration of what it means to be human, and a bunch of ridiculous bullshit. Created by epicqtefail and sevdrag for the 2024 DBH RBB.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,808
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    79
    Kudos:
    167
    Bookmarks:
    32
    Hits:
    1,995
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Hank and Connor are tired, weak, starved, beaten, and beaten down. But the solar eclipse is an opportunity that they can't afford to let slip through their fingers.

    It's time to get out of here.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,375
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    296
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Of course Anderson’s nervous. In his situation, anyone would be. Connor tips his head back, breathes through his nose, exhales and takes another drag. Nicotine calmness settles into his bloodstream. It works.

    “Let me rephrase,” he says, his voice pitched lower, more seriously. “You know I’m a programmer. You may not know I’m smart, but I am. And I found — well. I know something.” He drags his gaze up to meet Anderson’s: almost a shock, cool-blue like ice water. “Here’s the real question. Do you want to be rich is, perhaps, a side note.”

    Anderson’s eyes sharpen on his, a curious narrowing.

    “How would you like to embarrass Elijah Kamski by stealing a ton of money that he has set aside illegally, revealing his bullshit to the world, and then splitting the proceeds and fucking off where we never have to talk to each other again?”

    Hank and Connor make plans and get rich. Read to learn how.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,367
    Chapters:
    2/7
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    310
  6. Tags
    Summary

    He set his hand on Hank's shoulder. He was warm beneath Connor's palm. “Hank.” A plea rested heavy in the name. I need you, he wanted to tell him. I can't do this without you. We need to choose our battles.

    Hank turned and looked back over his shoulder. His eyes caught Connor's, and Connor's stomach lurched as he realised it was the first they'd spoken to one another since the previous night. Hank's eyes were red rimmed and sunken, Dark circles cast the blue in shadow. His face was streaked with grime and spilled tears.

    “It's okay.”

    Hank's head shook in refusal. His brows drew together. He looked...

    Heartbroken.

    “It's not.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,039
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    52
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    1,337
  7. Tags
    Summary

    They come again for Connor. His suffering and his humiliation is their goal.

    And it's about to get so much worse.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,365
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    47
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    1,631
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Honestly, all Connor wanted was maybe to make out with Hank a bit in the DPD bathroom. They're still in that period where everything is so good, and sure, he's been teasing Hank for a bit, but it's unfair to make them keep their hands off of each other for one full business day. Connor's pretty sure that's a war crime -- but all he really wanted was a few kisses and maybe a grab at Hank's ass.

    Neither one of them expected a little bit of workplace naughty to take them where it did.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    53,742
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    48
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    2,081
  9. Tags
    Summary

    It's New Year's Eve, and Connor has thought and thought and overthought things. He thinks he has a plan. His partner Hank (HK-800) approves, enthusiastically.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    44,734
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    78
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    2,632
  10. Tags
    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    70
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Collections:
    2
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    298
  11. Tags
    Summary

    After two years, Aziraphale has, in fact, made concrete and effective (if still somewhat ineffable) changes to Heaven's operations. He's successfully educating his angelic coworkers about the joys and wonders that Earth and humanity have to offer! It's more than he could ever have imagined, and he thanks Her daily for the opportunity and blessings he has been granted. Everything is wonderful!

    Except he hasn't spoken to Crowley in two years, and while Aziraphale knows he's being a top-notch Archangel, the timing of the Second Coming continues to loom between himself and his plans. Because he isn't only here to fix Heaven. Aziraphale's here to save Earth. (It's complicated.)

    The Metatron isn't talking, the Archangels are uneasy, and the plans for the Second Coming continue to advance at a relentless pace. Oh, and Muriel's got a bicycle, and even she hasn't seen Crowley in over a month. Aziraphale's own doubts won't vanish, and it seems like there are very important things about Heaven that he's never been told before.

    [An exploration of events post-Season Two, subtitled: Forgiveness.]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,471
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    61
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    668
  12. Tags
    Summary

    RK-900 was created to fight, to hunt, to investigate and battle and destroy. It makes sense, then, that its deviation cannot be brought on by fear, or anger, or strong emotion; not even by curiosity.

    Or: Not all deviations come from pain. Nines deviates in the sunlight, to birdsong and wind in the leaves.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,702
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    96
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    485
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Jean is set up on a blind date, which he really doesn't have time for, seeing as he's ass-deep in a drug case that's going nowhere.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,478
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    140
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Welcome to Detrevachol, land of the mostly-free and home of the ridiculous, where dollars and réal are both currency, the DCMC makes the rules, and food trucks are the final frontier, the last lingering ounce of independence and dignity you find down in the bottom of that bottle, and the most unlikely place you’d expect to find the beginnings of a revolution.

    What happens when you take birthdays too seriously.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,083
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    513
  15. Tags
    Summary

    I spoke to sevdrag about her fics and writing process, illustrious careers, and all the wine.

    The main fics we discussed are Old Vines and a thousand times i've seen this road.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    201
  16. Tags
    Summary

    My art for the Jaskier Mini Bang! Based on the fic The Canary's Song. Jaskier, a seer as well as a bard, finds himself blind as mysterious things happen around him...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    0
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    49
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    1,007
  17. Tags
    Summary

    After a messy fight, Yennefer allows Jaskier to help untangle her hair in the bath. Bonding and confessions ensue.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,403
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    95
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    511
  18. Tags
    Summary

    It is raining in Persepolis. It’s a gentle rain, misting down over the Apadana, and Crawly thinks Aziraphale might be crying.

     

    A chance meeting between Crawly and Aziraphale becomes a bit more than chance.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,875
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    40
    Kudos:
    242
    Bookmarks:
    33
    Hits:
    1,183
  19. Tags
    Summary

    After a freak mass shooting leaves Frank's family dead and Frank himself injured, Detectives Castle and Jones are focused on getting to the bottom of a case far more complicated than it should be. When Matt Murdock is brought in to help Frank cut legal red tape and protect his family's assets, he's drawn into a web of mysterious shootings, innocent gunmen, and a staggering number of testimonies where the truth might be a lie.

    The three of them need to figure out how someone can shoot 12 people in broad daylight ... then insist, vehemently, that they didn't do it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    44,653
    Chapters:
    6/11
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    125
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    17,640
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Warlock shows up right on time at the bookshop the first Friday after the Apocalypse doesn't happen, ready for his usual weekend shenanigans with his godfathers. Wait… Usual? Godfathers?

    At first they assume it’s just, like, residual leftover Antichrist juice or something, and both Crowley and Aziraphale are happy to play along and give Warlock a bit of a good time. Then they discover the flat. Then the dreams. Then they discover this isn’t just about Warlock. And it isn’t just about the whole Antichrist and Armageddon thing either…

     

    “Gather ye close, good people,” Warlock whispers, and it’s his voice and it isn’t and Crowley’s breath is stuck in his throat trying to call for Aziraphale, both his hands holding the boy’s shoulders as those familiar eyes stare right through him. “And see how the first new witch of England is born.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,243
    Chapters:
    5/13
    Comments:
    185
    Kudos:
    205
    Bookmarks:
    35
    Hits:
    2,431

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