Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The new God’s tennis shoes scuffed the pavement as he was exiled from the hospital. Light Yagami, the vigilante mass murderer known as Kira, zipped up his sports jacket against the chill as he gazed out at the beautiful moonlit night.

“Your father is right. If Kira is just an ordinary human who just happened to come by this awful power, I’d say he’s cursed.”

“How ridiculous,” hissed the teen, whiskey-colored eyes flashing in what his unseen, ever-present shadow recognized as a rare display of vulnerability; Light reflected on the words of his father and his nemesis and decided they were stupid. Not only were they stupid but they were most likely given not out of any genuine concern for his well-being but, in fact, out of a rather transparent attempt to manipulate him into confessing.

Light sneered, losing a bit more of the grudging respect he still held for both of them for even entertaining the idea that he would fall for it. In any case he’d come too far to stop now—even if he was cursed… Light decided that Ryuuzaki was also kind of a jerk for not offering to give him a ride and instead making him walk home in the dark. True, he hadn’t asked for a ride, but that was only because he knew that doing so would put him in a position of weakness and L would no doubt use it as another opportunity to accuse him of being Kira.

“You know, it’s said that humans who are followed by Shinigami have known nothing but misfortune,” Ryuk began conversationally, a positively evil look in his eye.

Light glared back, steely-eyed, and stoically ignored the sleight tremor racing down his spine. It seemed that now even his Shinigami was trying to get a rise out of him—well that wasn’t going to happen! But what was that about, really? Why was Ryuk even trying to scare… no, mess with him like that? Especially when Ryuk knew he didn’t scare that easily.

Huh? Ryuk must be really bored…

The teen was then struck by the sudden epiphany that perhaps Ryuk was feeling a bit left out of everything now that they were forced to spend so much time with L and the investigation team. Light couldn’t exactly stop to chat with the Shinigami now that he was being watched by a team of police detectives whereas before they had done pretty much everything together and it had been mostly just the two of them—just out of necessity of circumstance and not out of any personal choice, of course.

Ryuk had explained when they first met that they shared a bond which meant that the Shinigami would be sticking around for the rest of his life or at least until Ryuk got bored—which was pretty much the same thing when it came down to it. So Light supposed it would not be wise to let Ryuk get too bored or feel unappreciated—even if all the Shinigami ever did was crash in his room and eat his food like the annoying douche that he was.

Light prided himself that he (unlike L, that poor, pathetic loser) actually understood that other people’s feelings were very important. After all, people’s feelings made them easier to manipulate. Light knew it was the feelings of the taskforce that were shielding him from being seriously considered as a suspect. The teen had been feeling smugly superior about that—that L’s own disregard for the feelings of the police who were, in theory, supposed to be working with him was sewing distrust and resentment far easier than anything he could’ve done himself.

It was almost too easy.

Light decided that L’s problem was he was too arrogant. Because he was so much more brilliant than the other detectives he’d been forced to work with he merely tolerated them rather than utilizing them to their full potential. Light knew you couldn’t always choose your allies—given a choice he probably wouldn’t have counted a Shinigami as his roommate. Hell, Ryuk wasn’t even on Kira’s side but Light could still at times make use of him if given the proper incentive. In any case, it was foolish to waste resources as the detective seemed want to do—blowing through potential allies with the speed he consumed candy. In the beginning there must have been like hundreds of investigators working the Kira case and now he was down to like… four? Maybe five or six if he counted L’s “shield,” that computer voice that may or may not actually exist… oh, and that guy tailing him. So ultimately Ls’ tactics and secrecy had actually been pretty helpful for Kira—once he had secured his reign perhaps he should send the detective a thank you note on his own special “stationary.”

Of course it was okay to be brilliant but Light knew the trick was to be brilliant without stepping on anyone else’s toes and always being mindful of the feelings of others—he’d learned that lesson again and again during his school years. L, quite obviously, hadn’t. Light was sure that the detective’s casual disregard for the feelings of his alleged “allies” would ultimately be his downfall.

But now, to his chagrin, Light realized he had been making the exact same error with Ryuk. He was, even now, alienating the one… being who could actually put an end to Kira’s reign. Light had a sudden vision of Ryuk going “I’m not going to take your shit anymore” and writing his name down, negating all he had hoped to achieve with a single flick of a pen. He wanted to scream, he wanted to punch something, but outwardly he kept his calm veneer, his current mood kept well concealed but for maybe a slight flash of his eyes.

This isn’t good. It’s not good at all. But how to fix this?

Ryuk knew him better than anyone—he would expect manipulation. Ryuk was unlikely to accept anything he had to say unless he put his own real feelings behind it. Perhaps this is one of those extremely rare cases where honesty really was the best policy. Of course it might not work even then but he had to try—his future as Kira, his life depended on it. But it would be alright, he could be very persuasive and even if he failed to persuade the Shinigami this time well, he’d just have to keep trying to reach out to him, subtly of course, until he did. Because he couldn’t leave things as they were—it would be a fatal error.

The teenaged killer allowed a sharp, natural grin to slowly spread across his face as he stared up at the Shinigami. He even gave him a slight chuckle—a real one, not the fake, strained cheer he would share with other humans when trying to look normal.

“Well, Ryuk, I’ll just have to show you a break in that pattern,” the brunet assured the Shinigami with a cocky smirk.

The Shinigami scoffed at that. “Yeah, we’ll see about that….”

Yeah, that’s not good at all. Has the good-will between us degraded even worse than I thought? Dammit, Ryuk. I thought we were cool! What about all those times playing Mario Kart together? Did that mean nothing to you? Light ruminated as he began to make his journey home through the park, the Shinigami bobbing along in the air behind him like a balloon, or rather like an evil Gothic clown balloon from Hell.

“You know, Ryuk. I don’t exactly feel cursed. Honestly, I don’t mind you following me at all,” the teen said, smiling wistfully. He made sure to look disarming and completely natural even though every move was calculated—he was masterfully switching roles letting his body language and the inflection of his voice tell a story that he knew Ryuk would never believe if it came out of his mouth. He was projecting an image of innocence and naiveté that Light himself never believed he actually possessed: “See? I am just a naïve little boy playing with things he doesn’t fully understand. I appreciate your company and I didn’t mean you any offense for all these months when I may or may not have been thinking of and treating you like my pet.”

After he’d held the monster’s gaze for what he believed would be long enough to form an emotional connection after committing an error of this magnitude he turned away to stare up at the full moon above. He then spoke again—always calculating how and what to say before it became too awkward or too late—he also took care to add slight nervous gestures, biting his lip and sending his “friend” little demure glances—his desire to reaffirm their friendship had to look natural and spontaneous, after all.

“In fact, I’m happier than I’ve ever been…” the teen insisted with sparkling eyes and even a breathtaking genuine smile. “…and it’s all thanks to you.”

Light secretly smirked after he’d turned away again when he sensed that the Shinigami had frozen behind him.

“What… Me?!”

Light casually turned around to regard his companion’s reaction. The Shinigami appeared so befuddled that he had to hold in a laugh.

“What? Light-o?” Ryuk demanded as he chased after him, his usual guttural voice becoming an almost-whine when he butchered his name in that adorable way and Light really did let loose a giggle then.

“I hope you understand, Ryuk—that even if I don’t always show it that I will always be grateful to you. Even if this was all just an accident you allowed me to make a real difference. So, thank you. With this power I’m going to create a perfect world.” Light said, smiling at him. Always one to trust his gut instinct, Light reached out on impulse and boldly grasped the monster’s hand in his.

Ryuk just stared at him in stunned silence. Light worried that perhaps he had overdone it a bit but he really wanted to secure the monster’s friendship so he didn’t die and, shockingly enough, everything he said was true. Maybe that was the problem—maybe Ryuk didn’t believe him, maybe by acting so out of sorts he’d just succeeded in making things awkward, maybe he was making it worse even now by being silent for too long.

Come on. Say something, dammit! Anything! Light thought, desperately to himself as he stared into the night. The clouds cleared above them so that the full, round moon shined at its brightest.

“Oh wow, would you look at that, Ryuk? It’s such a lovely night,” the teen said with a small, breathy sigh. Light looked back again to find Ryuk outright gaping at him. Then he mentally played back what he’d just said.

Oh.

Well, crap. He hadn’t exactly meant to say that. That wasn’t in the script he had initially devised. Though, Light supposed, blurting something like that out matched the “naïve little boy” persona he had adopted for this purpose so it would be alright. He was trying to make this whole stupid “you’re my bestest friend” speech appear spontaneous, after all.

It was indeed a pretty night, but why did he feel the need to point that out? Light usually didn’t allow himself to be affected by such… sentimentalities. The beauty of the moon shouldn’t matter at all to Kira—well other than the statistics that more violent crimes tended to occur during full moon nights…

Just then a gentle squeeze on his hand alerted Light to the fact that it was still intertwined with the Shinigami’s and that Ryuk was now tentatively squeezing back. Light figured that was probably a good sign and so, unconsciously, smiled wider. He had been trying to forge a deeper connection with Ryuk and it appeared he had achieved that—though he was slightly alarmed that he had forgotten that little detail. It just felt so very nice… er, natural to walk hand in hand with the Shinigami. The teen glanced down at their joined hands again and he was amazed at how oddly small and fragile his own human hand looked when entwined in the monster’s talons. Ryuk gave him another careful squeeze and Light felt an odd heat rising up in his face.

Strange—I hope I’m not coming down with something.

When Ryuk squeezed his hand yet again it dawned on the teen that they’d been holding hands way too long to really be socially acceptable between male friends. Not that it really mattered since no one could see Ryuk but Light was all about following societal rules. With a surprising amount of reluctance he dropped it, awkwardly, and he felt even more of that strange heat rising in his face.

Wait, am I… blushing? What? It… it must be out of humiliation. Dammit, I hate it when I get too much into character!

Light glanced up again to find Ryuk regarding him with the strangest look in his eyes. That look could almost be described as… hungry. The teen found it a bit odd that Ryuk hadn’t taken this opportunity to pester him for apples. He also found it strange how Ryuk had continued to hold his hand a moment or two after he’d stopped—only very reluctantly letting him go after he broke contact. For some reason the sensation of Ryuk’s talons trapping his wrist coupled with that look the Shinigami pierced him with was making his heart race. But then, even after they broke contact, the Shinigami’s ravenous staring did not abate. If anything it intensified and the hairs rose on the back of Light’s neck. The killer shivered slightly.

Just… what is this? What is this strange feeling? Why is he…?

The rest of the way home every time he chanced to look behind him he would get caught up in the Shinigami’s stare—that red-gold inferno of his eyes that seemed intent on burning him to ash.

Just what did I do to evoke such a reaction?

Light wasn’t sure what it was about the Shinigami’s stare just then that unsettled him, just a bit of course—he wasn’t afraid, not really, because Ryuk stared at him all the time, maybe not this intently but he was just… he was always just kind of... there. Light usually didn’t mind. He liked the attention and having an audience to his brilliant scheming.

The novelty of his genius had seemingly worn off for everyone around him sometime during grade school and now it was just expected that he perform miracles everyday and stay at the top of his classes. But even when he performed at the top level becoming the number one student in all of Japan his achievements never really felt like his own. It was always “look at what my son did” or “look at what we taught him.” Kira was the first project that he could truly call his own. Sure, he’d had a bit of rocky start with it but he was proud of the work he’d done nonetheless.

Light liked to think he could’ve kept up the judgments alone but the truth was he probably would have broken down from the stress if Ryuk hadn’t appeared in his life to clarify a few things. Then the Shinigami was so very impressed and amazed with everything he did—that had been a pretty amazing feeling, to know that a literal God was impressed with him, even if it was a God of Death. Of course then Light got to know him better and found the Shinigami seemed to be rather easily impressed with everything, but in any case just having Ryuk there at that difficult time had given Light a sense of validation and meaning he didn’t even realize he was lacking. The Shinigami always, gleefully, listened to whatever he had to say. Sometimes Light almost imagined it was kind of like having a friend.

Oh, Light made lots of “friends” at school—he wasn’t some fucking loser like Ryuuzaki sitting alone in his room—but it didn’t mean he related to any of the stupider children around him. They just didn’t understand him, so instead of trying to form genuine connections he had learned to manipulate them. Ryuk, though… Ryuk understood exactly how humans really were so no masks had ever been necessary. All and all his relationship with the Shinigami was refreshingly honest—even if the monster could never fully understand the glory of his vision or the scope of his self-sacrifice, the Shinigami was the only one to ever get to know the real Light Yagami and accepted him just the way he was. He even liked him the way he was. Perhaps that was why Light’s “act” of gratitude had been all-too real and why he put up with Ryuk’s staring even when it sometimes (privately) disturbed him. Besides, to complain would be the same as admitting weakness which he wasn’t about to do.

Light frowned, Ryuk would’ve usually had something snide to say by now but instead the silence stretched on and it was becoming unbearable again. He dared to glance back again and, yes, Ryuk was still staring. The killer suppressed a giggle upon first noticing the look on Ryuk’s face and how the usual frozen grin of his fangs parted in shock. The Shinigami appeared to be stunned speechless. Well, Light knew he could be charming but maybe he overdid his “friendship speech” just a bit. Sure he laid it on a bit thick but every word he had said was true. He was indeed grateful to Ryuk—without the Shinigami none of his plans would be possible and he probably would’ve killed himself out of sheer boredom before he even graduated high school.

Chapter Text

As he neared his house, the teen pondered possible reasons for Ryuk’s continued silence and inwardly, he cringed. Had he really been so persistently rude to his permanent guest that showing just that little bit of kindness was enough to render him speechless? Damn, he had more work cut out for him then he thought.

Well, it looks like all my allowance money is going towards apples again…. Light mused with a resigned huff as he unlatched the lock and opened the door to his empty house—his mother had been allowed to remain with his father at the hospital and Sayu was staying over at a friend’s house. Even so, Light mechanically went about his routines, taking off his tennis shoes and placing them in a perfectly straight line relative to the closet door so that the house would still be perfect upon his mother’s return. When he stood up again he found Ryuk looming over him, alarmingly close. Light began to sweat a little bit at the sudden proximity and when the Shinigami pinned him yet again with that hungry gaze.

Well duh—he must be hungry!

It just occurred to Light that Ryuk hadn’t gotten his apple fix since that morning since L had been practically stalking him all day. So Light turned, pretending that the monster’s sudden onset of clinginess on top of his creepy staring didn’t bother him in the least, and walked to the kitchen to select an apple from the bowl before making his way up to his room. After closing and locking his bedroom door as had become his habit he carelessly tossed the apple behind him. Light startled when the apple thumped loudly on the hardwood floor a few moments later—the teen glanced, perplexed, between the fallen apple and at Ryuk who had made no move to catch his favorite fruit.

Just what’s going on?

Ryuk ignoring apples—was it a sign of the apocalypse? Maybe Ryuk was just confused because it was a green one. Still this was strange—Ryuk had never outright turned down an apple before—even the cheap, bruised, or wormy ones.

Are we being watched? Has L installed surveillance cameras again? No. Ryuk would have warned me if that were the case. This must be something else. Come to think of it he’s been acting kind of strange ever since the park.

“What’s the matter, Ryuk. Don’t you want it?” Light asked as he slowly bent over to pick up the apple which had rolled into a corner when Ryuk made no move to pick it up. Light was quickly becoming annoyed and unnerved by Ryuk’s odd, prolonged silence. “Seriously, do I have to do everything myself? Why don’t you just take it?”

The teen froze when the Shinigami let loose a frustrated snarl. Light would never admit it but it scared him. His goofy monster had never made such a sound before. Ryuk’s usual default modes were either evil-sounding but harmless cackling or whining for apples. This was new.

And this was terrifying.

Light jerked up in time to see Ryuk practically lunging at him.

The teen suddenly felt very trapped—not only did Ryuk have him literally cornered but Light was frozen under the scrutiny of the Shinigami’s strange, smoldering stare. He broke into a nervous sweat as his world seemed to tunnel down to just those bulbous golden eyes as the Shinigami glanced down and then up again, raking over his body with that hungry gaze as he prowled ever closer.

“Ryuk, quit goofing around!” Light snapped as the Shinigami leaned into him. The brunet scuttled backwards until his back hit the wall. Then the Shinigami was pressing bodily against him. Desperately, Light once again tried tossing the apple but once again Ryuk ignored it and the apple thumped uselessly to the floor because Ryuk had opted to catch hold of Light’s wrist instead.

“Ryuk, what—?”

The Shinigami was suddenly there, mere inches from his face. Light feared his heart was trying to escape his rib cage as Ryuk pinned his arm above his head against the wall, all the while pinning him with that stare, ensuring that escape would be quite impossible. It was like being caught in the eyes of the wolf. A small bead of sweat trickled down his temple. Light hadn’t felt so nervous and vulnerable since first learning he’d actually managed to kill two people with college-ruled ledger paper—because despite his affability and casual demeanor Ryuk was after all, a Shinigami, and a Shinigami looking at you in that all-consuming, predatory way—that just couldn’t be good.

What could’ve evoked such a reaction? Ryuk must think I was lying and trying to manipulate him. Alright, I was trying to manipulate him but, dammit, I wasn’t lying!

“Ryuk…” Kira was mortified when his voice emerged as an embarrassing squeak as the Shinigami leaned in so close that Light could smell the apples on his nonexistent breath.

“Ryuk, I meant everything I said. Please, believe me…”

“I know.”

***

Ryuk had regarded the mad man-child he had bonded with questioningly as the moonlight beamed down over them, seemingly basking the boy in that bright and silver ethereal glow of his namesake and the Shinigami’s frozen smile had slipped, ever so slightly. He’d always found his human to be pleasing to the eye but now under the moonlight, all teasing looks and charming smiles, and all just for him—had he needed to breathe, Ryuk was pretty sure his breath would have caught at the sight.

The boy was beautiful.

And now having caught Light blushing while giving him such furtive glances, to know that his feelings might just be mutual…

Ryuk had spent the entire journey home staring at the teen’s back, something he was sure that the boy was fully aware of but he had said nothing and, in fact, seemed perfectly at ease with Ryuk’s attention. The Shinigami watched, entranced at how the boy’s auburn-brown locks would flutter against the nape of his neck and contemplated what it would feel like to brush them aside and bite, to mark and claim, to forever mark him as his.

The Shinigami’s thoughts didn’t always stay so “pure” either as his gaze slowly drifted down until it settled on the teen’s tight, skinny ass. The Shinigami shook with excitement. There was no question in his mind that Light Yagami would be an amazing fuck.

He wouldn’t force him.

Ryuk was content to let Light set the rules but if Light wanted to play too...

Oh, he hoped he wanted to play too…

And with the looks he kept sending his way Ryuk was almost positive that he did.

Oh, that little tease—didn’t Light see what he was doing to him?

“Seriously, do I have to do everything myself?” the boy had said while slowly bending over and sending what the Shinigami perceived as a sultry stare. “Why don’t you just take it?”

Well, Ryuk wasn’t about to turn down an open invitation.

***

Light froze as the Shinigami brought up a single claw and began to gently stroke the underside of his chin in an oddly intimate gesture.

What? What is this? Maybe Shinigami display friendship in different ways?

Against all logic and common sense, Light immediately felt his body begin to relax as the monster trailed his claws up and down his chin and neck, but never breaking the skin. To his further embarrassment he couldn’t stop his eyes from fluttering closed as he leaned in slightly as the Shinigami petted him like a fucking cat.

What the hell is he doing to me?!

“I feel the same way about you.”

What?! Light froze as Ryuk continued to stroke his chin, so confused by the monster’s actions that his breath actually hitched.

What the hell is he saying?!

“You make me so happy, Light. It was all so boring before I met you,” the monster cooed as he cupped the boy’s chin, gripping the side of his jaw with a single claw. As Ryuk brushed his face against his Light had the sudden mind-shattering epiphany that Ryuk was kissing him. Ryuk’s thick lips protected Light’s own from the Shinigami’s needle-like fangs when he pressed their faces together and forced his long, thick tongue into the boy’s mouth.

Disgusting! was the main thought running through Light's head as he suffered a mini-mental meltdown while the monster invaded his mouth.

It was disgusting. The Shinigami hadn’t gotten any prettier in the last five minutes and Ryuk’s tongue in his mouth tasted of rot and apples and rotten apples as it slid across his teeth and tongue. Light briefly considered biting it but immediately decided against that course of action—it probably wouldn’t make Ryuk stop and it might upset him. It was generally a bad idea to have a God of Death upset with you even one that was as seemingly harmless as Ryuk. Fighting Ryuk would do him no good. Not only was the Shinigami physically stronger but he literally held Light’s fate in his hands. Light wasn’t about to start a fight he couldn’t hope to win. Not when he had so much riding on Kira’s victory. The fate of the world, the fate of his soul—if he died now all his sacrifice would be in vain. No, if Ryuk wanted him … he would just have to lay back and think of justice. It was just another burden he’d have to bear—his curse. The sacrifices I make for a better world... Light thought as an involuntary shiver wracked his frame.

In the grand scheme of things this is probably even a good thing, Light thought ruefully, after all I had wanted to forge a greater emotional connection with the Shinigami—I just hadn’t intended things to go this far, that’s all.

It wasn’t like he was afraid of Ryuk or anything. He was, admittedly a bit nervous about what was currently happening to him—not scared of course, because he refused to dignify this with such a reaction, but if anything it was his own peculiar responses that kind of scared him. It was disgusting—so why did he find the sensations so interesting? Light was very confused which, in and of itself, was a very disturbing feeling for the genius. Why was his body responding this way and so strongly?

This was not even the first time Ryuk had so invaded his personal space either. Nor the first time the Shinigami’s presence had made him feel so odd. But now having a name for the feeling gave him no peace. It was lust. He had been fucking lusting after a monster. If Ryuk wasn’t pinning him to the wall he would bury his face in his hands. Instead the teen’s flushed face stared up at the Shinigami in confused wonder as he was kissed again and Ryuk did something with his trailing hand that just made him practically melt, whimpering against him.

It was so far removed from the soft, sweet kisses he’d tried with girls. He’d dated quite a few since that’s what perfectly normal teenage boys do. He’d kissed them and felt nothing—well, nothing other than wet and bland and boring. And afterwards he would always feel a smug sense of satisfaction that he could make them so blush and sigh but it quickly became apparent to him that he got nothing else out of it. He would’ve laughed before if anyone had ever suggested that someone could make him react in the same way. Yet here he was, trembling in Ryuk’s arms—just like any of the girls.

Fuck!

He’d always figured he just hadn’t found the right girl yet. Not that he found the need to have a girlfriend particularly pressing—he found most of the girls he met, as with most people that did not reside in his own mirror, to be rather stupid—and it was easy enough to explain away his lack of interest with the excuse that he “wanted to concentrate on his studies.” But what the Shinigami was doing to him now, even as disgusting as the prospect was, it was anything but boring and to his further confusion and embarrassment his body responded to Ryuk’s rougher treatment almost immediately. Light’s heart hammered in his chest as the Shinigami dominated his mouth, his tongue plunging even deeper and Light wondered if he was trying to force it down the back of his throat.

Why? Oh god why?

Why was he responding to this so strongly? Ryuk was a monster, evil, and very much male—he knew by all rights the very idea should repulse him. It did repulse him yet this did nothing to abate this desire pulsing through his veins.

Perhaps the problem was that Light didn’t find Ryuk to be particularly scary. Even now, this… Light found the idea of Ryuk taking liberties with his person more annoying than anything else. He wasn’t actually afraid of Ryuk. No, such an idea was completely ridiculous! Sure, the Shinigami was a bit grotesque, perhaps, but Light had grown quite accustomed to seeing his face—hideous as it was. But overall despite the Shinigami’s ugliness or perhaps, paradoxically, maybe even because of it, he found Ryuk to be rather… cute. Perhaps it was his goofy personality, or the way he’d dance and plead for apples, or the way his feathers tickled against him when they were lazing around together in his room on certain dull and lonely afternoons... The point was that Ryuk didn’t behave particularly terrifying most of the time to the point that Light sometimes thought he should quit being a Shinigami.

He should quit being a Shinigami! If he was a human this would be so much easier. If he was a human I would never have looked at him!

Oh, this was horrible. It was Ryuk touching him that had his stomach doing flips. It was horrible and he kind of liked it. That made it even worse.

Damned creature! But why pull this now? If this was his aim why hasn’t he been molesting me since the night we first met? It just doesn’t make sense!

The teen had brought his free hand up in a futile gesture to push him away but instead ended up clinging to Ryuk’s shoulder feathers when another shiver ran through him, somehow produced by Ryuk slopping around in his mouth in a manner that was not at all sophisticated but somehow crudely effective. Just something about that closeness, about Ryuk in his mouth and his other hand, still trapped above his head against the wall made the boy mindlessly arch into him. Light flushed when he felt Ryuk laughing into his mouth, deep rumbling vibrations that somehow felt rather good with the Shinigami pressed against him. It felt even better with one of the Shinigami’s large, rough hands pawing at his back until it finally settled on his ass.

Holy hell!

The teen was shocked at his own reactions; he’d never felt this way before—not with any of the girls he’d been with and not even when touching himself. He honestly didn’t understand other boys his age—he regarded masturbation as a boring chore to be done as quickly as possible—probably because it seemed to take forever just to get stimulated but he definitely did not have that problem now. Light hissed at the sudden, roaring heat spread throughout his body when Ryuk gave his ass a gentle squeeze. It felt so much better then touching his dick. It had never occurred to him that he might enjoy something like that—after all, it was a butt—it’s not like he went around playing with it or anything, he just used it for its usual function. Light gasped, astounded by his own body’s reactions—it usually took so long for him to achieve any physical reaction and yet now he could feel all his blood rushing into his rapidly hardening member. Dammit, why did it decide to work now? Now that he was pressed up against a wall by a seven foot tall monster?

Ryuk snickered when Light was so obviously affected and squeezed again. The teen gave a choked whine and pushed back against his hand. He should’ve been more alarmed when Ryuk shoved his claws down his pants but skin-to-skin contact was even better—Light jerked at the sensation of Ryuk’s talons against his bare skin—they were cold to the touch and making his muscles involuntarily jump and twitch at the contact. He couldn’t stop the embarrassingly helpless-sounding moan that was only slightly muffled by Ryuk’s mouth and that devilish tongue that kept plunging in and out. The teenaged killer at first tentatively, then eagerly, responded, as his body surrendered to the pleasurable sensations and began moving his own tongue against the invading monstrosity.

As Ryuk kept touching him he was becoming embarrassingly weak at the knees so that when Ryuk abruptly released his trapped hand Light had no choice but to cling to the Shinigami for support. Light shivered and sucked in a harsh breath as a cool draft of air hit his suddenly bare skin—he could only watch on helplessly as Ryuk undid his fly and pulled down his designer khakis with alarming speed and one of Ryuk’s large, dark hands explored everywhere between his legs while the other tipped his head back to further conquer his mouth.

Oh lord—it was never this way with any of the girls!

Light again regarded the Shinigami with equal parts horror and wonder. How could something so hideous make him feel like this?! He wasn’t stupid, he knew what sex was, but up till now it had held absolutely no interest for him. The whole process just seemed so gross and unappealing. He regularly touched himself out of a sense of duty so he wouldn’t get distracted and let certain urges interfere with his studies but he just found the whole process to be… boring. That this felt so much better than anything he’d ever done on his own was a cause of utter amazement for the teen genius. Up until now he hadn’t even thought it possible for him to feel like this. This was awful—for him to lose so much control after with such brief contact...This was definitely not part of the plan.

Maybe it was just hormones? He was, allegedly, at an age where things were supposed to be a bit confusing. Granted he’d never had that problem himself. He’d never felt this way about anyone before. Privately he’d come to consider himself asexual. Not that he’d minded—Light had previously scoffed at his classmates who regularly made fools of themselves over their ridiculous crushes or, quite frequently, him. Maybe this was karma come to (near-literally) bite him in the ass because what if he wasn’t asexual? Maybe he’d just never been in the proper context to have such a humiliation occur. What if he was exclusively attracted to male… death gods? Light nearly dry-heaved at the very thought.

He briefly considered that maybe Ryuk might be controlling him with the Death Note but immediately dismissed the idea as preposterous. If his name was in the Death Note for this purpose he should’ve died of a heart attack by now. The Death Note couldn’t do the impossible and this was most definitely impossible.

It can control my body and even my emotions but it could never make me fall in love with a Shiniga—

Oh no… I’m not… am I? That’s so stupid! But then if this feeling is love then that means I’m not being controlled. But if it’s just lust then there’s a chance that I am. But if I’m already being controlled then there’s nothing I can do about it...

For once the genius was at a complete loss for answers—it’s not like he had any other experience to compare it to. He wasn’t sure if what he was feeling was love or lust or whatever but the fact that he was feeling anything at all made it special in and of itself. Such feelings happened to other people—not to Light Yagami. But that was okay—or, rather he’d thought it was okay—because he was always fine. But now? Now everything had changed. He wasn’t sure exactly what Ryuk had done to him but he liked it even though it scared him—it honestly scared him—and it scared him how much he liked it. This… this was special and dirty and so very confusing.

The teen’s brow crinkled slightly in vexation even as the Shinigami held him in his overly-long arms. Was it even possible it was just physical when he wasn’t even physically attracted to Ryuk? Maybe this was some untold side-effect of the Death Note—his “curse” coming into play? Well if this was his curse… Light figured it could’ve been a lot worse. At least it hadn’t taken his soul or his sanity—he was fine, just as righteous as ever, and things had never seemed so clear nor his future so bright—even if Ryuk apparently wanted to…do things to him. Light had been ready to pay the price had the Shinigami demanded it—he had even been prepared to die to make the world a better place. Of course he’d rather not die now, now that he knew he truly had nothing to fear from using the Note. But compared to that… this “curse” was nothing compared to the demons he had conjured with his own mind. And even if the notebook was turning him into some toy to the Shinigami he would still be ruling over a perfect new world free from crime so in the end he still won. As curses go it wasn’t so bad—in fact Light found the prospect oddly exciting.

Light had never felt such heat and pleasure coiling in his belly. It was like every nerve in his body had betrayed him and he couldn’t help but lean and arch into the monster’s every touch. He’d never felt so good or so vulnerable—he found the two feelings mixed nicely together even though he hated the feeling of weakness.

This was awful. He shouldn’t want this.

Light snarled at the loss of contact when Ryuk briefly paused to divest him of the last of his clothes. The Shinigami swiftly unbuttoned his shirt with a dexterity that before Light would never have expected from such large, clumsy-looking claws.

Oh, he knew better now.

The teen shook with the strain to remain standing as the Shinigami sensually trailed his claws down his chest, mewling when a talon slowly trailed around the pink bud of his nipple, Light nearly collapsed after Ryuk poked it. The Shinigami’s long arms were wrapped all around him before he could fall. Light yelped as Ryuk gripped firmly onto his ass as he hoisted him into the air, pressing the boy’s naked body flush against his yet fully clothed one. Light had no choice but to cling tighter to Ryuk’s feathered shoulders to avoid falling backwards and cracking his head open.

Since Ryuk’s hands were preoccupied with holding him up and playing with him, the Shinigami grew out his wings and began to tease Light with his feathers. Light seemed to like that if the unrestrained little hisses and whines were any indication. Light also liked the texture of the slick leather of Ryuk’s clothes against his skin, especially the leather of Ryuk’s pants leg as it gently rubbed between his legs. The brunet languidly threw his head back and his throat produced yet another embarrassing moan.

Ryuk cackled when Light cried out and the boy shot him a deathly glare which was swiftly wiped away when Ryuk rubbed him there again. Light squirmed in Ryuk’s hold as something else, huge and firm, ground against his thigh. The teen’s red-brown eyes widened comically as he realized what it was.

“Holy—!” Light gasped as Ryuk removed his loin cloth exposing his huge, black member. Light couldn’t help it—he flinched. And yet... he couldn’t stop staring at it.

Light imagined it was like being in the middle of a train wreck and being fascinated by the make and model of the train as he sped towards certain doom like “Oh, that’s the thing that’s going to kill me.” Light let out a deranged-sounding laugh before considering that that analogy didn’t seem quite so amusing when he recalled exactly what Ryuk was and that he was clearly about to be the ill-fitting tunnel to Ryuk's train.

Yet even that knowledge and the terror that accompanied it failed to negate these alien feelings that welled up in his chest whenever he thought of the Shinigami. Ryuk was touching him and he liked it so and part of him was curious about what Ryuk was clearly planning to do to him and shivered in anticipation even though it would probably kill him and…

He was so fucked—in every sense of the word.

He knew he should be terrified and yet his mouth went dry and soon his bedroom seemed to echo with the sounds of Light’s harsh, panting breaths as Ryuk ground gently against his hip—the Shinigami’s grinding was making him so excited. God, he’d never been so worked up. Not even when writing in the notebook and lording over all of humanity.

As Ryuk moved against him he continued his attentions of groping and squeezing Light’s butt—his every touch producing that instant, intense physical reaction that had the boy cursing, moaning, and madly clawing at his Shinigami’s back. Light was so lost in the lovely physical sensations that he didn’t really register it when Ryuk began snarling to himself and fumbling with something until after the Shinigami had spread his ass cheeks and a suspiciously wet finger lazily circled his hole.

The teen grunted in discomfort at the sudden intrusion of one of Ryuk’s fingers—they were larger then a human’s and much larger than what Light felt comfortable with being inside him, having never tried anything like this before, though the discomfort gradually began to fade a little bit as Ryuk slowly worked his way inside. The teen whimpered as Ryuk’s digit wriggled and stretched his insides. It felt weird and wrong and so very hot. He couldn’t stop squirming if his life depended on it.

Light finally understood. This was why his classmates got so worked up about sex…

That stray thought finally awoke him to the reality of what was happening.

He was having sex.

With a Shinigami.

The teen involuntarily shivered again as Ryuk hissed surprisingly hot breath into his ear. “You have such a sweet, tight little ass, Light. I wanna pound you so fucking hard.”

Would he even stop if I asked? Do I even want him to? Light thought wildly as he tensed in the Shinigami’s hold, unknowingly communicating volumes with his terrified eyes.

Ryuk frowned slightly but suddenly stopped. Light felt a strange sense of loss when Ryuk withdrew his finger, internal muscles throbbing at its absence.

While part of him was relieved that Ryuk had stopped it turned out that another much larger part was very much annoyed that he actually had. Light snarled at the loss of contact but Ryuk paid this no mind, gently setting the boy down on the bed before artlessly flopping down next to him. The teenager turned away and pulled his knees up to his chest. Even if it might seem unwise to leave his back open after what had just occurred he just couldn’t face that… face right now.

How could I have lost control like that? I couldn’t! It’s impossible! Not unless I really wanted it… Light rationalized as he lay there, panting, in the dark while silently and viciously chastising himself for being so disgusting.

Was it just lust or…?

Dammit, he manipulated—he didn’t form such connections himself! Feelings were a weakness! He saw it time and again! How could he possibly develop feelings let alone for a Shinigami! Let alone a monster that had just assaulted him like that!

And yet…

Yet he’d never felt like this before. Light shyly gazed up at the Shinigami, his heart still fluttering in his chest and a suspicious moisture began building up behind his eyelids—he blinked and it was gone. It must have been dust—dust in his pristine room—because no matter how confusing the circumstances the God of the New World does not cry. It was of no advantage to cry. Crying was for little girls. As a child he had envied them—the girls could just cry and get the grown-ups to do whatever they wanted but if a boy tried to do the same he would just get laughed at. He was taught that girls were weak and expected to cry but boys couldn’t show such weakness. Boys had to be tough and lock everything inside. It was a lesson he’d learned very well. He didn’t need to be showing weakness, least of all now. He needed to focus. He needed to be thinking about how to exploit this situation. He needed…

“Light-o…”

The teen stubbornly stared at the light blue comforter of his own bed which he’d slept in since early childhood as if it were the most fascinating thing in the world. Light tried, and failed to slow his racing pulse. He tried to force himself to cool down but his own panting breaths seemed deafeningly loud within the stillness of his bedroom.

“It’s okay to be scared, Light-o.”

Light flushed with humiliation but said nothing.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” The Shinigami asked with genuine concern.

“What have you done to me?” The teen hissed in a near whisper. They were both shocked and alarmed at the broken quality of his voice. “Ryuk, what did you do?!” Light snapped; eyes wide and crazed in a rare show of open madness and vulnerability. “What… dark powers have you worked on me?”

“What’s that? More human fantasies?”

“Are you controlling me with the notebook?”

Ryuk looked almost offended by the suggestion. “If I was do you really think I’d let you ask that question?”

“Then… what is this? Some side-effect of the notebook? Some pheromones through skin contact? Is this some obscure branch of Shinigami magic you haven’t told me about?”

“You think it was magic?” Ryuk snickered. “Why? Do you find me enchanting?”

“N-no!”

Ryuk continued to cackle as he lightly trailed a claw down the boy’s bare back and Light couldn’t stop making those stupid soft little mewling sounds when the Shinigami traced a previously discovered sensitive spot.

“As hard as it might be for you to believe, Light-o, anything you’re feeling—that’s all you. All I did was touch you. You just happen to be very receptive. You’re so eager. And here I thought I’d have to talk you into it.”

“Then talk! Let me hear your proposal. In polite society we don’t go around ripping people’s clothes off without asking—that’s… that’s beyond rude!”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I was scaring you.”

“I’m not scared!” Light snapped, his voice obviously cracking in fear, and the Shinigami sent him a disbelieving look.

“Don’t give me that, Light. You can’t lie to me. You’re afraid—I can smell it.”

Kira abruptly sat up and turned to glare furiously at the Shinigami “In that case, if you knew you were making me… uncomfortable then why didn’t you stop sooner?!”

“You didn’t ask. And I honestly thought it was just nerves. After all, you demanded that I take you…”

“What?”

“When you bent over and said and I quote, ‘Must I do everything myself? Why don’t you just take it?’ I wasn’t about to turn down such an offer.”

The teen felt a tick beginning to form in his forehead. “I was talking about the apple.”

“Huh?

Light pointed to the bruised green apple lying abandoned in the corner.

“Oh! Er… sorry. Really… I just thought… maybe you felt the same way is all. I’m really sorry, Light.”

Kira laughed lightly, though the sound held more than a slight insane, hysterical edge.

“Well… no harm done I suppose,” Light said steadily, attempting to wave it off as if it were nothing. He really wanted to work on suppressing this memory as soon as possible.

Ryuk however obviously did not believe him.

“No, really Light. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to traumatize you and…”

“Ryuk…”

“Yeah?”

“Please shut up.”

“Okay.”

Chapter Text

The teen pointedly ignored the Shinigami and threw on his red plaid flannel pajamas as fast as what remained of his dignity would allow, wincing slightly as he pulled up his pajama pants. He still had a slight problem between his legs—more than a slight problem, really, if he did say so himself—a problem that despite everything that had happened wasn’t going away.

Make no mistake he was angry at Ryuk for taking such liberties with his body but he was even angrier at himself for enjoying it. He was always the master of his body—not the other way around. But as horrible as the idea of sex, especially sex with Ryuk was, that hadn’t stopped him from enjoying it.

Holy crap, I loved it.

Part of him wanted Ryuk to pick him up again, or just hold him down and do things to him even though the prospect was terrifying. He’d loved the feeling of those rough hands all over his bare skin but especially the things Ryuk did to ass... fuck! How could he want something so filthy?

“You know, I thought that it should have been obvious, Ryuk. That I was talking about the apple.”

“Well, I wasn’t looking at the apple,” the Shinigami huffed defensively.

“Yes, I noticed you were acting strange. Why didn’t you want it?”

“I saw something I wanted even more,” the Shinigami answered honestly.

The teen froze again and slowly turned to regard the monster who was still staring at him with longing.

“Light, it was not my intention to pressure you and I am not trying to pressure you now. I just honestly thought that maybe you wanted it too. I’m sorry if I misread you.”

“You don’t… you’re not going to…”

“I would never turn down sex with you if you are offering but if you don’t want it I’m not going to force you. You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. You can’t offend me… Light-o.”

Light shivered again. He kind of liked the way Ryuk said his name and…

Stop it!

He couldn’t possible want that! He was the genius perfect son and aspiring God of the New World and what Ryuk was suggesting… that was not what he was supposed to be. Well, he really wasn’t supposed to be a killer either but he had no choice there—the world left him no choice. But he apparently had a choice here. He couldn’t further stain his soul—not on something so selfish! Or so abhorrent—it didn’t even bare thinking about. Kira regarded the Shinigami out of the corner of a red-tinged eye, discreetly checking out that large, awkward, gangly, firm body—so ugly to look at and yet it felt so good pressed up against him in the dark.

He felt like such an idiot. He hadn’t even realized that Ryuk harbored such feelings for him but in retrospect it was obvious—what with the way the Shinigami stared at him all the time. Light would never admit it but the intense way Ryuk looked at him, especially when he disrobed, had made him a bit uncomfortable—enough so that he had taken to getting dressed under his bedsheets. Yes, he was well-aware that that was kind of a girly reaction but every morning he would awaken to that soul-devouring stare and had no idea what the Shinigami wanted and he would start to shake and… and it just seemed a logical alternative to the everyday awkwardness. Not that the bedsheets would have at all deterred Ryuk’s peeping if he had been determined to continue but, oddly enough, the Shinigami had stopped when it became obvious that he was making Light uncomfortable. There were also Ryuk’s longing looks, frequent sighs, and how the Shinigami would frequently demand his attention and… Okay, in retrospect the Shinigami’s feelings towards him should’ve been obvious but Light had dismissed the idea as too ridiculous to even consider—after all, how could Ryuk be interested in him when not only were they both male but they weren’t even the same species?

Perhaps he hadn’t noticed the Shinigami’s attraction because Ryuk had been giving him those looks even on the night they first met. Light was fully aware that the Shinigami could have overpowered him any time he wanted. That he didn’t suggested, as absurd as it sounded, that Ryuk really did care about him on some level—even if the only reason was he just didn’t want to end his entertainment prematurely by killing him or driving him insane. He had to be realistic here—just because Ryuk wanted sex didn’t necessarily mean that the Shinigami was in love with him or something stupid like that—given Ryuk’s personality that just seemed beyond ridiculous. Of course there was also the possibility that Ryuk didn’t care about him at all and he just needed him to fuel some ritual which required a virgin sacrifice… When Ryuk began sniggering Light realized he must not have masked his confusion and paranoia as well as he had thought.

The Shinigami approached him then but Kira determinedly stood his ground. He even allowed Ryuk to trail his dark talons across his cheek without flinching away. He didn’t want to show any further weakness, or let the Shinigami know just how uncomfortable he actually was even though such posturing was, evidently, a futile gesture.

“I know relaxing is not your strong suit, Light-o, but right now you’re thinking too much.”

“Why? Ryuk... why did you touch me?!”

“I like you so I want to do you—no ulterior motive, I swear—as hard as that might be for you to believe.”

“Ryuk…”

“Yeah?”

“You do know I’m a boy, right?” It seemed a legitimate question given they were different species. Perhaps in the madness of his apple withdrawals Ryuk had gone a bit crazy and mistook him for a female Shinigami or something—if that was even remotely possible. What does a female Shinigami even look like?

“Yes, Light-o. That hasn’t escaped my notice. Despite what you may think, Light, I am not an idiot.”

“Then why touch me like that? Are you like… are you gay, Ryuk?”

“And here I thought you were a genius, Light-o.”

Light had to physically stop himself from backing away and unconsciously grasped his bed for support with a shaking hand. Considering what just happened he knew he was acting beyond ridiculous, he knew it was a stupid thing to ask, but Light was very skilled at the art of deception and there was no one he could deceive better than himself. He did not want to face what had just happened. He had been trying very hard to pretend it never happened. He had even ever-so-briefly considered asking Ryuk if there was a way to wipe the memory from his mind—the Shinigami had previously implied that he could erase memories but Light hadn’t thought of a scenario where such a service would be particularly useful. However he immediately decided against such a course of action because 1) asking would be the same as admitting weakness and 2) if Ryuk really did have that power the Shinigami might realize he could use it to force sex on him and then wipe the knowledge from his mind afterwards. That was an outcome he would rather avoid.

He was tempted though anyway, despite the danger because the “perfect son and genius” had reached what he found to be a rather unsettling conclusion:

Ryuk is gay. I liked it when he did gay stuff to me. I don’t like girls. So in conclusion, as impossible as it seems…

…And just like that the teen’s self-image cracked and splintered before his very eyes.

No. It can’t be…

Dammit, this wasn’t right. This was not who he was meant to be! On some level Light was aware that his mind couldn’t afford such a shattering, that after everything he’d been through and all the things he’d done he was barely holding onto what passed for his sanity, and that his mind had already broken one time too many. This sort of thing… it might be okay for other people but not for him. He was supposed to be the genius perfect son and God of the New World. He was supposed to join the NPA and rise to the top—to do this he knew, that even though he was a genius, he would still need to find and marry the right girl and start a family of his own before the old men in charge would regard him as sufficiently “reliable” and “trustworthy” enough to be in charge of the organization. He had intended to do this while managing his Kira project and private ascent to Godhood on the side. Being gay was most definitely not part of the plan—especially not for a Shinigami!

How the fuck did this happen!

Before tonight the very idea of sex had disgusted him. It still did, to be honest but now he was beginning to understand why people did it regardless. He had always assumed that he just hadn’t found the right girl yet. He had never considered that the problem might be him—he still didn’t want to believe it.

Maybe I’m bisexual or something… Light bargained with himself, despite never being attracted to anything remotely female, and once again considered the pros of asking Ryuk to erase his memories.

Dammit, he was still being ridiculous. Surely the God of the New World was more mature than this?! He was not just a (insecure) teenager from a traditional family whose asshole classmates regularly ridiculed “queers.” He never considered himself to be one of them—the assholes or the queers. He himself didn’t have a problem with gay people—just rotten people, regardless of their background, and he disdained the rest of humanity equally. In fact just the other day, he had reviewed a case as Kira of a group of grown men beating a gay boy to death and getting off with a slap on the wrist. Kira had sentenced those monsters to death. That’s right, he was Kira. He had the power. Kira must set an example, to lead and steer the world in the right direction, to make the world the way it should be, not just enforce the rotten way it was. Oh lord, he had been behaving like an asshole—an asshole and a queer! Not for the first time Light wondered what would happen if he wrote his own name in the notebook but quickly banished the thought. The world still needed him, it’s God, to dispense Justice—even if he was a queer asshole.

“…Well, actually I don’t really care about gender,” Ryuk kept talking all throughout Light’s existential crisis, “What’s that human saying? 'Everyone feels the same in the dark?'”

Light made a face. He wasn’t asking about Ryuk’s sexual history! Except, he realized, he kind of had…

“I prefer males though I find some females to be pretty too but honestly, I kinda… you know, get shy around girls.”

Light stared at the Shinigami in utter disbelief. Did the monster seriously just say he was intimidated by girls?

“Yeah, I actually prefer human males.” Ryuk chuckled in an oddly soft, almost self-deprecating way before baring more fangs. “Especially pretty little twinks like you.”

“I’m not… I’m not like that!” the teen insisted, his overly-long bangs falling in his face.

“Light… you know how I can walk through solid matter…”

“So? What does that have to do with anything?”

“I can see, feel, smell, and otherwise perceive things that you cannot.”

“What now, Ryuk? Are you going to try and sell it to me that you can see people’s sexualities floating above their heads?!”

“Not quite that flashy but pretty much, yeah. Trust me on this—you’re a natural bottom.”

Ryuk looked on with some concern as the teen’s body was suddenly wracked with harsh coughs.

“What?! What the hell are you saying?!”

“Didn’t you know?”

The teenager glared furiously at the Shinigami.

“I touched you there because I knew you’d like it more than anything else. Why? Did you need another demonstration?”

“No! I mean… no, that is not necessary, Ryuk. I just find it rather presumptuous of you to assume you know what I want.”

“Light, when I phase through you I can see inside you, your nervous responses, what stimulates you…“

The teen stared at the Shinigami, absolutely scandalized. He’d never felt so violated—not even when Ryuk was actually touching him.

“…And when, exactly, were you ‘peaking inside me?’”

“Well, when you were asleep mostly and sometimes when we were bored in class, you know—when I’d drift through you. I just find it fascinating how the human body works…”

Light shivered again. He’d always felt kind of weird when Ryuk happened to phase through him but he hadn’t stopped to think that maybe Ryuk was actually peaking inside of him.

“It’s nothing personal. I do that with every human. It’s kind of a hobby.”

“Yeah, could you not do that anymore?”

“Why? You know I can’t stop seeing it any more than you can pick and choose which spectrum of light you see. Besides, I don’t see what the problem is.”

“Oh, I don’t know, Ryuk, maybe because it’s creepy as hell?”

“Why? You humans have no problem with taking X-rays and stuff. It’s just like that, except without the harmful radiation exposure, so it’s safer, really. Hey, Light-o—don’t be like that!” Ryuk huffed when he finally noticed how the teen slowly backing away until the back of his legs hit the side of his bed. “It doesn’t even hurt you! Look!”

Light yelped and fell back awkwardly onto the mattress. Ryuk had somehow decided it would be a good idea to demonstrate that his creepy hobby didn’t hurt him by plunging his face into Light’s chest without warning. When Ryuk emerged Light was lying flat on his back, his chest heaving in panting, anxious breathes as Ryuk settled in to floating just above him—like a mere dark shadow in the darker room. Light noticed that Ryuk’s presence there, just looming above him, was doing odd things to his body.

“See, I told you it wouldn’t hurt,” the Shinigami murmured as he gently brushed a stray lock of hair out of the brunet’s face.

Son of a bitch!

Light’s body quickly divested him of any illusions that all of his confusion and terror (no, not terror, just concern, dammit) had caused it to calm down—just Ryuk hanging above him was causing him to become so stupidly over-excited again and the teenager spasmed slightly on top of the mattress in all-too-obvious desire. Ryuk must have noticed but refrained from comment—well other than to rumble out yet another absolutely evil sounding laugh. “You should be happy to know you are healthy and cancer free!”

“And you’re such an expert, Doctor Ryuk?”

“Yes actually. I do happen to know my way around human anatomy. And you can call me Doctor if that so pleases you, Light,” the Shinigami said in an absolutely seedy voice.

Light bit his lip when his cock twitched again within the restrains of his pajama pants.

“Ugh!”

The teen again glared at the monster that was, even now, still sending him such heated stares and he was sorely tempted to throw his pillow at the Shinigami’s smirking face.

“Yes. I know my way around human anatomy. There are the dicks and the broads…” the Shinigami continued speaking in what Light thought of as named “Ryuk’s faux lecture mode, “…the humans turned on by taste and by touch. Though I’m sure you’re most interested in what I found out about you—you’re an ass-man. As in you are most turned on by taking it up the ass…”

“No,” Light sneered, that one syllable somehow conveying all of his fervent denials—even though he knew that the Shinigami was right.

“Yes. You’re a natural submissive, Light. I can see it. I can smell it. It’s amazing the way your nerves just light up every time anything gets near your tight lovely little boy pussy. What your body wants is to be nothing more than someone’s buttboy…”

“Goddamnit, Ryuk, stop talking.” The teen snapped, blushing fiercely in humiliation and arousal.

Stupid Shinigami! Putting such weird thoughts in my head!

Dammit, why was the Shinigami’s rudeness and proximity having such an effect on him? And why the fuck did Ryuk’s unsubtle suggestions that he become his buttboy have him shaking with lust?! Dammit, what the hell happened to his self-respect?!

What the fuck is happening to me?!!

Chapter Text

“It appears you also enjoy feather play and being restrained. I bet you’d like getting tied up too,” Ryuk added helpfully. “I have some chains. If you ever feel up to it I could tie you to the bed sometime. I’d very much like to play with you, Light-o. I’ll do whatever you want me to do.”

“This… is so messed up,” Light croaked through a suddenly dry, cracking throat.

“Why?”

“It’s just… wrong.”

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Light. Many humans like ass-play. Like… I think that magazine said it was something like 10% of the human population?”

“Dammit, you know me Ryuk!”

The Shinigami looked perplexed “That I do.”

“You know I’m not like that!”

“Like what?”

“You know I’m not weak. Or… or stupid! Or…”

“What does that have to do with your sexual needs? I didn’t think I was implying you were weak or stupid. Is this another human fairy tale? You know, I don’t get the feeling we’re really communicating right now. We should really just sit down and have story time sometime. You could tell me these human fairy tales and I could tell what I know about the Shinigami realm—it would sort out much of this miscommunication between us.“

“Kira submits to no man!” Light snapped; eyes wild and panicked and Ryuk thoughtfully held him down to prevent the boy from smashing his head against the headboard of his bed with his spastic flailing. Unfortunately this did nothing to calm him down.

“Light …”

“I can’t… this is just so… disgusting! No!” Light snarled as Ryuk pulled him down the bed and away from the wall before letting him go. Light was torn between relief, fear, and disappointment when Ryuk suddenly let him go and finally removed his looming self from over his person. The teen sat up immediately, swallowing hard.

Shit. I shouldn’t have said anything. Ryuk will probably kill me now.

Light was annoyed with himself. He knew he was behaving most irrationally and he was furious with himself that he had lost his cool. He knew he couldn’t fight Ryuk. He’d already decided it would be best to just go along with it but then the Shinigami insisted on giving him this illusion of choice and that had screwed everything up. He couldn’t pretend to want it when the very idea of sex, especially sex with Ryuk, disgusted and… terrified him. Then Ryuk was claiming that he, Light, the God of the New World, actually wanted penetration and wanted it more than anything else. Something so taboo and frightening and… and girly! Dammit, why him?! He wasn’t even a girl! The teen swallowed down another whimper—he refused to let Ryuk, of all people, mess with his head!

Light forced himself to calm down and think things over rationally and review what he knew, what he had learned, and what he could infer from their most recent interactions. He realized that Ryuk must have been harboring these feelings for him for quite a while but never acted on it until he thought the feelings were mutual and consensual. Even though the Shinigami could easily overpower him if it had a mind to. Aside from their recent misunderstanding Ryuk had never tried to grope him like any of his classmates and he stopped when it became obvious it was making him uncomfortable. True, technically Ryuk had just assaulted him but Light could attribute some of Ryuk’s lack of manners and decency to his inhuman nature. It was an innocent evil as opposed to purposeful malice and so could be forgiven. Light had no doubt that if any of his human “suitors” had him in that position that they would not have stopped so that meant that the Shinigami was already morally superior to the majority of humans that Light knew. And that he wasn’t even mocking him now… at least not intentionally. Light figured that he should take the Shinigami to be essentially a moral blank slate that was merely imitating what he had learned of... repulsive human behavior. He was sure that if it had been anyone else they would be relentlessly mocking him if they even so much as suspected that he was queer. Hell, he’d been acting like such an idiot, freaking out like that. It was just Ryuk! Compared to any of his classmates Ryuk was practically a saint.

So Light turned to face the Shinigami, an eloquent apology already on the tip of his tongue when the Shinigami thrust a magazine into his face. Light immediately recognized it as the disreputable and dirty magazine that he had only bought for the articles on Kira and L.

“Read it.” Ryuk demanded. The magazine was folded over to a particular article entitled “Power Bottoms” that was accompanied by some very graphic pictures. The teen shot the Shinigami another angry glare. “Just read it.”

Light frowned. He hadn’t even realized that Ryuk had been reading through his magazines. The teen was suddenly beset by the mental image of the Shinigami hanging out in his room, putting on reading glasses—the thought of Ryuk in reading glasses got him caught up in a fit of maniacal giggles for over a minute. Light startled a little when the bed suddenly dipped again from the weight of the Shinigami sitting down next to him. Ryuk looked a bit irritated but swiped the magazine back from him and began reading to him in an overly-condescending manner, obviously having decided that the teen was still too worked up to do it himself.

“According to Icha-Icha’s top sex gurus high-powered individuals… like ambitious corporate sharks, the C.E.O. of a major corporation, high status career woman, or… say, you, are more likely to be submissive in bed.”

“Excuse me? You can’t make conjectures based on…”

“Actually, I didn’t. They really do mention you… or rather Kira by name. The author seems to think that Kira would not only be the ultimate sub but a real wildcat in the sack.”

The teen’s eyebrows arched and then furrowed menacingly. “…What’s the name on that article?”

“An…. Eraldo Coil. Do you know him?”

“…No. Is there a picture?”

“Why? You’re not going to kill him for just printing the truth, are you? Because I thought you said you didn’t want to do that.”

Kira suppressed a wince as he acutely recalled the humiliation of the Lind L. Tailor incident.

“No…”

“Light-o… “

“I only ask out of curiosity. You know, for future reference…”

“Right.”

The teenaged mass murderer sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “No, Ryuk. I don’t intend to kill whoever wrote this drivel. I just think it prudent to know who would write such a thing. They probably hold some sort of grudge against Kira.”

“Don’t you think that’s a little paranoid?”

“Not really, no.”

“It’s not even specifically about you. Kira is just mentioned in passing. You know everyone is talking about you. It probably wasn’t meant as a personal attack.”

The teen sighed again and, out of habit, flopped back on his mattress to stare up at the ceiling. “I guess you’re right.”

“I am. About many things.” Ryuk rumbled softly, a slight chuckle, as he slowly, deliberately turned the delicate page of the magazine between the tips of his large dark claws, almost as if to say ‘I could be touching something else and you’d like it more’ and the teen gasped at the sensation of that recently discovered ring of muscles inside him again fluttered open and closed. There was just something about that stupid guttural voice of his, coupled with that burning stare in the dark, and the fresh memory of those gentle claws all over his skin, how they expertly manipulated his flesh—it was all so very hot... in a gross and horrible inhuman way. Yet every nerve in his body was screaming at him to submit. Light wasn’t really sure if he believed Ryuk when he said he hadn’t done anything to him. Could he really be so affected without some sort of demonic influence? He’d never felt this way around a human of either gender. Light decided that Ryuk must have done something to him regardless of what he said. The alternative was that he was actually attracted to the Shinigami and that didn’t bear thinking about. The teen regarded the monster warily out of the corner of his crimson-tinted eye.

“Alright,” the teen conceded with an imperious wave of his hand. “Indulge me. Why does this idiot think people in power are more likely to be submissive in bed?”

“Well, he suggests two possibilities. One is that the person who is attracted to power is a naturally effeminate type who is overcompensating…” This earned Ryuk another murderous glare but the Shinigami pressed on. “The other possibility is that you enjoy it because it’s such a contrast to your everyday stresses of always staying in control and you’d enjoy having someone take care of you and catering to your needs.”

The teen sucked in a breath. That sounded… pretty nice, actually. Light flushed at the recent memory of Ryuk’s arms all around him and then made a face. The idea of sex still disgusted him, let alone sex with a Shinigami but his body still found it most agreeable to let Ryuk touch him.

It was… nice.

Terrifying, yes, but also nice. Maybe he’d been thinking about this all wrong. Maybe it was more like his Death Note, really—terrifying at first, and horrible, but once you got used to it, it could be a source of joy. You only had to learn how to use it properly...

The teen sucked in another, surprised breath at the sudden, feather-light touch, brushing across his fingers. While Ryuk was sitting at the foot of the bed and pretending to not even look at him he was apparently still put him in easy reach of the Shinigami’s wing feathers. Kira glowered at the Shinigami’s back.

“Ryuk, what do you think you’re doing?”

“Nothing.” Ryuk would have said innocently—except the monster couldn’t sound innocent if his lifespan depended on it.

Kira’s angry stare intensified, “I thought you said you wouldn’t pressure me.”

“I’m not. I’m seducing you. That’s completely different.” Ryuk snickered, giving out another of those crowing laughs of his.

The teen felt the heat rising in his face again. He shivered again and his flush deepened in humiliation. He knew that this time his shivering had nothing to do with fear.

“Well you can stop now since I’m not the least bit interested,” Light insisted, though they both knew that was a big fat lie.

The Shinigami turned to regard him fully, no longer pretending to ignore him for the sake of the magazine, and a smirk widened the Shinigami’s black, ever-smiling lips, baring more of those shark-like fangs. “You’re not? Really?” The Shinigami questioned as his eyes trailing to the conspicuous lump in the boy’s pajama pants. “Because it looks to me like your little soldier boy is still standing at attention…”

This time Light actually did throw his pillow at Ryuk’s smirking face. The Shinigami just laughed as the pillow phased right through him and the magazine he’d been holding fell open to yet another page on top of Light’s blue bedspread.

“Wow, Light did you see this? I can’t believe I almost forgot about this—just look at all these famous dead humans that were bottoms. It’s quite fascinating really.”

Light frowned but paged through the magazine, “I’m not so sure about the sources on that article… and I’d rather not follow in the footsteps of your ‘dead humans’ anytime soon.”

“That can be arranged.” Ryuk purred in a near whisper but Light caught it.

“What was that, Ryuk?”

“Just that. I’ll take care of you… if you submit to me—that’s a promise.”

“And do you mean to take care of me or take care of me?” Light asked skeptically and the strangest expression flashed across the monster’s face.

“I guess you’re gonna have to trust me in order to find out, eh Light-o? After all, the surprise is half the fun!”

Light laughed again and if any of his other friends were to hear it they would have worried for his sanity. Ryuk, however, knew better—that that was long gone.

“You don’t have to, of course. But it would be your loss. I could show you pleasure beyond mortal comprehension…”

“I think you’re bragging a little bit there, Ryuk.”

“Is it bragging when it’s true?”

Chapter Text

Light’s eyebrow twitched as the Shinigami crept closer until he was cuddling against him. His body had yet to cool down and Ryuk’s continual stream of suggestive comments and slight touches weren’t helping at all.

The teen stubbornly rolled over and attempted to ignore his “roommate’s” obnoxious presence. The teen restlessly shifted and tried to get to sleep but it was no use—he was too keyed up. It was Ryuk’s fault—the damned Shinigami had put such strange thoughts in his head:

“I can show you pleasure beyond mortal comprehension.”

“Such a tight little ass—I’m gonna pound it so fucking hard…”

“I’ll take care of you… if you submit to me.”

Light rolled over to once again be met by Ryuk’s grinning face.

The teenager felt his sphincter fluttering open and closed at the recent memory of Ryuk’s finger up his ass, stretching him, and he let out an embarrassing squeak. He glared at the Shinigami, daring him to say anything. Ryuk said nothing but he again made that soft, strange purring rumble that made Light’s heart race.

He couldn’t help but imagine... what would something bigger feel like? He was very curious about that. His eyes slowly drifted to the huge bulge in the monster’s pants and he swallowed against his suddenly dry throat.

Did he really want that?

His cock twitched and that ring of muscles throbbed and contracted inside his asshole again as his body answered a resounding yes.

But the only way to know for sure would be to test Ryuk’s theory…

The teen swallowed hard at the thought. Dammit, he hadn’t thought it was even possible to feel that good. He wanted it. He wanted it so fucking bad. This was horrible. He wasn’t like this—not really! Just what had Ryuk done to him? He must have done something! It had to be unnatural to want something so much. Light gritted his teeth and tightly, painfully, crossed his legs. The teenage boy lay in the dark and tried to think unsexy thoughts but he didn’t think there was anything much worse to look at than Ryuk and naturally thinking of him didn’t help at all. Light still twitched and squirmed just knowing Ryuk was there. He just had to roll over and…

Dammit, stop being so disgusting! The teen sneered to himself but his body still didn’t listen.

Light knew he could take care of it himself but that too would be conceding defeat and it would be just as humiliating as anything to beat off while Ryuk watched him.

He thought he could just wait it out but he waited and waited and it still wasn’t going down. Just knowing that Ryuk was lying there next to him, watching him, he could do those things to him if he just asked…

Fuck. He had never been so hard in his life. The worst of it was he knew he could have relief. Ryuk would take care of him. All he had to was give in…

Light considered it. He seriously fucking considered it.

The Shinigami wasn’t that pretty to look at, or that bright, but then again, next to him, who was? The truth was that Light liked being the smartest one in the room. It made him feel unique and special. Even Ryuk’s ugliness served to make him look better in comparison when Light sometimes, secretly, worried he looked too plain, too ordinary. In many ways Ryuk was an ideal partner—he could feel superior to Ryuk but he would also never be boring because while the Shinigami wasn’t the sharpest tack in the box he could still teach Light so many things that no human even knew or dreamed of—the disaffected genius found that prospect to be quite exciting.

There was also the matter that, no matter what he decided here, it seemed Ryuk genuinely had feelings for him and regardless of Ryuk’s assurances to the contrary Light had no doubt that a spurned Shinigami would be Hell to deal with. If he turned him down would Ryuk just continue to carry a torch for him and thus be easier to manipulate or was he more likely to get… scary or even worse write his name in the notebook? Light knew many boys at school who would regularly get angry with girls who “led them on.” Even if he hadn’t intended to manipulate the Shinigami’s feelings to such a degree it just didn’t seem wise to give Ryuk that impression. However if Ryuk really did… love him, if he could get the Shinigami on his side… it would be foolish to let such a strategically valuable opportunity to slip him by.

The more he thought about it, in many ways Ryuk would be the ideal lover for Kira. After all, Ryuk was a fellow God, even if he was a God of Death, and even though Light thought it was kind of lame how Ryuk never actually used his powers to make his world a better place, the teen supposed that could be forgiven seeing how the Shinigami never had him around to show him it was possible. On the pragmatic side of things, Ryuk was ideal because no one could see him and he wouldn’t go gossiping about what they did with his friends at school. Just like his Death Note, using Ryuk seemed almost completely consequence free. He was almost too good to be true—he said almost because Ryuk still wasn’t very appealing to look at, at least not from the neck up…

Still there was just something about him that Light couldn’t help but find to be just so casually sexy. The way Ryuk, even now, lay atop his comforter, his body language always open and inviting...

Not for the first time Light wondered if there was something wrong with him.

He’s not even human!

No, he wasn’t human. But this little fact didn’t stop Light from admiring the way the demonic creature moved in the dark—he was inhuman yet exotic and powerful, kind of like watching a big cat on the prowl. Light was mesmerized by the way the moonlight caught and reflected a bleeding red off his Shinigami’s strange bulbous eyes—his Ryuk, despite the Shinigami’s fearsome demeanor there was just something about him that Light found to be incredibly cute, and when caught in a certain light the Shinigami could almost be described as, well, pretty, in a certain exotic and alien way. Light realized that most sane people would never regard Ryuk as anything remotely pretty but, again, Light was used to seeing the Shinigami’s face. There was just something about Ryuk that fascinated him. Maybe it was his personality? Because even though at times listening to the Shinigami could be quite irritating there were very few humans that could make Light laugh, genuinely laugh, as Ryuk could.

Okay, so Ryuk wasn’t human but he was sentient and willing so it wasn’t bestiality. It just proved he wasn’t… specieist or something. No, it was more like Star Trek—boldly going and all that, only if Kirk was gay and made it with a large male monster instead of some green big-breasted girl every week. Okay not exactly like Star Trek.

Dammit, had he just seriously used Star Trek as an example of why it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to screw a monster? Light pondered that maybe now wasn’t the best time to be making such life-altering decisions what with all the blood rushing away from his brain.

Ryuk of course had noticed Light’s staring and pinned him with a stare of his own. Light froze again and swallowed harshly. It was like being caught in the eyes of a wolf. The Shinigami’s mad grin widened further, baring more fangs.

I’m not seriously considering…

The teen continued to stare at… the inhuman male that had made himself quite comfortable at the edge of his bed and a pleasant shiver ran down his spine once more at the recent memories of Ryuk pressing against him, holding him, groping his ass….

Yes. he isn’t human but then again, maybe that’s not such a bad thing. I know that no human will ever be my equal. And would a human have stopped? Statistically speaking—no. That already makes Ryuk better than a human.

The truth was that no human had ever made him feel this way before and while he was lying when he pretended not to be utterly terrified it was also exhilarating. The only feeling that came close was the first time he’d used the Death Note fully understanding what it was. What Ryuk did to him—just the thought of it was making him so excited he could hardly think straight. The teenager’s line of sight once again drifted to the huge bulge in the monster’s leather pants. It would hurt, surely. But could he handle it? Well he could handle the unpleasantness of using the notebook. If he could handle that then surely he could handle practically anything? But more importantly, he’d be missing out on a huge advantage if he didn’t exploit this. His decision here could either cost him the game or assure his victory.

Chapter Text

Assuring Ryuk’s cooperation will be the safest and most tactically advantageous course for me in the long run. He was the one who gave me the power that allowed me to become God. And he’s surprisingly good, no dammit, amazing with those claws of his...

In the end it wasn’t that hard. Light wasn’t one to second guess himself—once he’d made a decision he saw it through to the end. With a resolute expression on his face, the teenager crawled closer to where Ryuk lay sprawled awkwardly across his bed and, with uncharacteristic trepidation, climbed into the surprised monster’s lap, taking a seat between Ryuk’s outstretched legs.

“Eh?”

“Ryuk… can we continue what we were, uh, doing before? Er, maybe just… not quite so fast?” Light asked, almost shyly. It was such a foreign expression on the normally dynamic teen’s face that Ryuk did a double-take.

The brunet forced himself not to flinch when the Shinigami’s claws shot out and grabbed hold just under his chin and then Ryuk was in his face, studying his own critically. Light froze again as Ryuk began to once again gently stroke the underside of his chin. He reminded himself that this wasn’t about giving in—this was about securing his future as Kira. The fact that Ryuk’s hand on his ass had felt so damned good had absolutely nothing to do with his decision. Light shivered slightly as he dared to peak up at the Shinigami through the fringe of his bangs—there was no going back now. Just what would Ryuk do to him?

“Are you sure?” the Shinigami questioned, almost sounding concerned.

The teen dramatically threw off his pajama top. “I’ll do it,” he insisted.

“If you’re not ready tonight, Light-o, that’s okay. I can wait until you are.”

“I said I’ll do it,” Light snapped, annoyed at the Shinigami’s attempt at patronizing him.

“Then tell me, Light-o. Just how would you like me to fuck you?”

“You’re all romance, aren’t you Ryuk?”

“Just humor me,” the Shinigami said, leering, and all of the teen’s earlier doubts came back to plague him again. Light forcefully pushed them all back down and locked eyes with the Shinigami.

“I… I liked it when you kissed me and… you were correct in your assessment of what to… touch. That was… nice.”

“You think I’m nice?” The Shinigami exclaimed while regarding the teenager most strangely.

“I’m sorry I freaked out before. I want to do this. It’s just…”

The Shinigami strained to hear when the teen took to incoherent muttering as he blushed the red of apples.

“What’s that?”

“I said I’ve never done anything like this before!” Light snapped, flushing darker.

“Oh?”

The teen awkwardly cleared his throat and tried to cover his embarrassment with a fake show of confidence. “Yeah. That’s right. It’s my first time.”

“Oh!” It was like a light went on behind the Shinigami’s eyes. “Oh!” Ryuk drawled while leering at him again. Light felt the heat rising in his face again as the Shinigami started snickering most evilly.

“Shut up,” Light had intended it to be an order but it ended up just sounding embarrassingly bratty. The megalomaniac teenager flushed a deeper crimson.

“Hey, I’m just surprised is all…”

“It’s not because I couldn’t. I just didn’t want to!” Light snapped defensively but Ryuk just kept laughing. “Girls are… icky!” Light asserted and then immediately regretted the word choice.

Ryuk’s laughter reached uproarious levels. Beyond annoyed, the teen attempted to punch a certain clown-faced jerk hard in the shoulder but, as expected really, his fist just phased right through his body but before he could pull back Ryuk had struck like a snake and caught his wrist again.

“Well, Light. It seems I have taken your innocence. Again. I’d say I’m sorry but I’m not. Oh, that’s just too damned funny.”

“What the hell are you talking about? My “innocence” was the first thing I threw away! I don’t need it. “Innocence” gets you killed! I know that what I do is… but there’s no other way!”

“Hush, Light-o. It’s alright, pet. You know you don’t have to justify anything to me.”

Light shot the monster another glare but his annoyance was soon forgotten—the teen shivered slightly at the feeling of the Shinigami trailing his chill talons up his spine.

“Though I guess that would explain why you’re so uptight all the time... You know you are seriously tense back here,” Ryuk muttered as he caressed and prodded at the teen’s upper back, rubbing the tension right out. The teenaged killer let out a contented sigh and sagged against the monster’s chest in pure bliss. It felt so right he could almost forget that it was a Shinigami touching him. Once he agreed to have sex with Ryuk he had been, admittedly, nervous. He was half-expecting to be penetrated right away, instead here the Shinigami was giving him an impromptu massage session—one he hadn’t known he’d desperately needed. Ryuk chuckled softly when Light’s eyes fluttered closed on their own accord—he’d never seen a human so relaxed in the presence of a Shinigami before but then Ryuk always knew that Light was a special sort of human—ever since their first meeting when the boy got back up and faced him so fearlessly after he’d scared him right out of his seat. The teenaged killer moaned softly, becoming like putty in his hands as Ryuk continued his course of soothing, repetitive rubbing and Light wriggled a bit in his lap in obvious arousal.

Of course, Ryuk had to ruin the moment by opening his mouth.

“You are just too damned cute, you know?”

Kira shot him a glare.

“I’m not cute,” Light snapped petulantly.

“I’m afraid I have to disagree. You are such a pretty little thing,” the Shinigami teased. Kira’s furious glare intensified, but this just served to further amuse Ryuk. Light was just so uptight, it was just so much fun to rile him up.

“I’m not the one that does dances for apples. You’re the cute one,” Light insisted before letting out another contented little sigh as Ryuk continued to rub circles into his back. Light Yagami wasn’t naturally a real “huggy” person, even with his family. This night probably already held the most physical contact he’d had in a week. He generally disdained it—he just didn’t feel comfortable with strangers or random girls clinging to him. But what was happening now, while it was strange, it was not all that bad… at least once he got used to the idea that Ryuk was the one doing it. Ryuk, his Shinigami; the secret he kept in his bedroom—familiar and safe. Light decided it was okay to let Ryuk touch him.

“I find it cute that you find me cute,” Ryuk snickered. “But you—you are freakin’ adorable.”

Ryuk must have magic hands, Light thought as he relaxed even further under Ryuk’s gentle, rubbing caresses which had the normally highly-strung teenaged killer practically purring in pleasure. Light flushed deeper when he became aware that he was doing it again. He was utterly mystified—before tonight he hadn’t even realized he was capable of making such a broad range of embarrassing sounds.

Dammit, just what is Ryuk doing to me? Light groaned again as Ryuk worked out a particularly stiff kink in his back. It was embarrassing enough that he could produce such sounds let alone the cause.

“You know regularly relieving tension can add years to your lifespan… provided you find the right partner of course.” Ryuk suggested conversationally and Light wondered if moment-killing was just a natural talent of all Shinigami or just Ryuk in particular.

“You mean you,” the teen retorted, trying to keep his voice steady as his back arched ever-so slightly into the Shinigami’s touch.

“Naturally,” Ryuk replied with a definite smirk in his voice.

“I already said I’ll do it—” Light snapped though his words were cut off by a long, drawn out moan and his humiliation rose to new heights.

What the hell?! He isn’t even screwing me yet! The teen thought furiously as he felt that lovely heat return, roaring through his body as Ryuk continued to touch him. It just felt so damned good that he couldn’t help it and it seemed that his body had no qualms against alerting his tormentor to just how helpless he made him feel. He couldn’t stay silent for all that he tried. Light hated such a loss of control. He’d never been so humiliated! Light wanted to bury his face in his hands but found that they’d somehow gotten to be clinging to the Shinigami as Ryuk kept touching and teasing him and a part of him was afraid of what would happen if he tried to let go. So he just ended up rubbing his cheek against Ryuk’s chest in a futile attempt to hide his face—this seemed like a perfectly logical solution at the time.

One of Ryuk’s long arms was then wrapped around his waist, pressing him impossibly closer and when Ryuk’s large hand settled possessively on his hip, Light’s face burned hotter. He found, to his genuine surprise, that he rather liked this feeling of being wanted in this way, even though he was being claimed and possessed by the Shinigami. His blush deepened when he felt the physical evidence of his partner’s desire—that which lay beneath Ryuk’s loin cloth—poking into his thigh. The teen again chanced a glance up at the monster’s hideous face to find him grinning down at him with an absolutely wicked glint in his eye.

“…Say Light-o, don’t you think the reverse should be true?” The Shinigami asked conversationally while he worked those magic fingers of his across his back, hitting all of the boy’s most sensitive spots with unfailing accuracy, making Light whimper and squirm in his hold.

“With that article. You know, if you’re like really naturally submissive in bed then you’re gonna be God for sure now?” Ryuk asked earnestly as he worked out a particularly tough knot in his shoulder muscles. The teen gasped and gazed up at the Shinigami. Light definitely liked the sound of that and to him the logic seemed sound.

Ryuk pressed harder against his back, earning him another of those soft little throaty whines he’d discovered Light was capable of producing—it was the most beautiful sound, to hear the prideful human yielding under his expert touch.

The teen let out another startled gasp as Ryuk again tilted his head back, kissing him gently—being careful not to involve any of his razor teeth in that arrangement and instead it was all thick lips and long tongue—it was raw and sloppy and really got Light going. The teen shivered pleasantly under the Shinigami’s absurdly gentle touches—somehow it was even better this time—Light whined softy at the loving and possessive caress of claws on his bare shoulders and he was really enjoying the feeling of Ryuk’s feathers tickling and teasing against his bare skin. He felt a slight spike of apprehension when Ryuk pressed him backwards onto the mattress. The Shinigami’s eyes gleamed an eerie red as he loomed over him again, casting his shadow in the dark. Suddenly, Ryuk’s claws whipped out, quickly tugging down his pajama pants so he was once again naked before the monster.

Naked and on his back.

Light shivered again as he stared up at his rather unconventional lover, the sadistic glee was evident in the Shinigami’s face, holding the promise that he was going to do so many things to him…

Damn, this was terrifying and fucking hot.

Light moaned again softly as Ryuk pinned him to the mattress and played with him, licking and occasionally and with extreme care nipping at his bare skin—claiming him in a very animal move. His Shinigami was claiming him. Light was surprised by how much he liked this feeling of being claimed. He actually felt safe and protected in the monster’s arms—he hadn’t felt this secure in many months.

Ironically, just having Ryuk around made him feel safe. Even though the Shinigami could be unnerving at times, once he’d become accustomed to him he kind of liked the feeling of Ryuk looming over him—like a physical extension of his power. Even when dealing and dueling with L, Ryuk’s very presence at his back had helped him relax. It made him feel secure and powerful to have this powerful being at his beck and call, catering to his whims—who, for the price of just a few apples… or as the case may have it, his virginity, would do whatever he asked…. Sure, Ryuk had put him in this embarrassingly awkward and vulnerable position but the Shinigami had only been trying to give him what he wanted. He had waited on his permission and even though he might be giving up his body to the Shinigami he was still the one calling the shots. Ryuk claiming him just meant that Ryuk was his.

Ryuk’s cooperation and all the power of a God of Death for sex—it wasn’t a bad bargain really, especially since this was not so unpleasant once he grew more accustomed to the idea. Damn—he still having trouble reconciling that this was Ryuk doing this to him, Ryuk making him feel like this. How could something... someone so hideous, so monstrous, not to mention dim-witted and embarrassing make him feel so good?

The brunet shivered and groaned again as the palms of Ryuk's hands sensually glided down his body. It seemed obvious to Light where this was going when Ryuk began to sensually rub up and down his inner thigh. Though he might deny it later, the teen eagerly spread his legs. But Ryuk seemingly ignored the blatant offer and Light whined again as Ryuk’s talon tips ghosted over his skin. The teen sucked in another shocked breath as Ryuk began rubbing the pad of his thumb over his right nipple. That felt so good. Light moaned and repetitively called out Ryuk’s name as the Shinigami pushed and pressed and tweaked it between his fingertips. Meanwhile that other devilish hand rubbed and petted his stomach while those damned lovely feathers brushed everywhere. He couldn’t take much more of this.

“Dammit Ryuk, just give it to me now!” Light demanded, panicked. At this rate he wouldn’t last much longer. Ryuk rumbled in pleasure as the boy writhed, unrestrained, beneath him but he wanted to ensure the boy’s enjoyment so he would willingly come to him again and again. If he took him now it would not be a pleasant experience for Light and Ryuk had no intentions of killing the boy tonight. So the Shinigami refrained from giving Light what he demanded, even if he hated him for it at the moment.

“It’s okay, Light you can cum. I’ll make you cum again by the time we’re through.”

Ryuk snickered when Kira again pinned him with his furious gaze upon being denied and the teen made a frustrated snarling noise that half-way through turned into a questioning little whine as Ryuk rubbed and pinched his right nipple again. “Aw, Light-o. You’re so cute when you’re angry.” The Shinigami cooed while again gently brushing his knee between the boy’s spread legs. That felt so damned good that Light found it hard to maintain his fury. Ryuk giggled and just kept rubbing and squeezing until Light’s pleasure spiked again and the anger just melted away. Ryuk giggled again as Light began desperately moaning his name—Light made such a pretty mess.

Sweat slid slick off of Light’s body as Ryuk continued to touch him and Ryuk wasn’t even doing anything yet. Light hissed and mewled and tugged at the Shinigami’s shoulder feathers as Ryuk pinned him to the mattress, just rubbing little circles into the sides of his hips but it was making him buck and writhe in the Shinigami’s grip. Light gasped and arched again as Ryuk continued to tease him, brushing a downy soft wing feather softly across his chest.

The brunet whined; his own erection strained, hard and leaking and trapped between their bodies. He tentatively moved to touch himself but Ryuk, ever-grinning, caught his hand.

“Naughty boy.”

The boy whimpered and then gasped in relief as Ryuk took Light’s dick in his hand and worked up and down the shaft. It was not as stimulating as when the Shinigami had played with his ass but it was still a far greater thrill than when he touched it himself.

“Since you’re so eager, pet, you can get off now. You’ll come again with me inside you.” Ryuk rumbled and Light absolutely shook beneath him.

Inside? Yes. Get inside.

He wanted more touch, more heat, more of this wonderful feeling, he just wanted more. That large, rough, black hand stroked him up and down thrice more before Light came with a shuddering cry.

Ryuk hugged Light’s wet, limp body to his chest and the sleepy teen sagged against him in a near boneless fashion until Ryuk kissed him awake.

“No, don’t go to sleep, sweetheart. I’m not even close to done with you yet.”

Chapter Text

The teen made an unintelligible but distinctively grumpy sound as the Shinigami rearranged him like a rag doll, forcing him up onto his hands and knees so that his face was in the Shinigami’s lap and his ass was high in the air and Light felt that heat rising once again, this time in absolute mortification, his face burned even hotter when he realized why his cheek was damp was because it had been forced into a smear of his own cum. But his shame did nothing to stop him from enjoying the feeling of Ryuk’s hands and feathers on him. Light shivered pleasantly as gentle claws trailed down the length of his spine in the parody of a caress.

“Does my neko want some cream?”

Oh lord, that was horrible. Light sneered at the Shinigami as Ryuk continued with a very rude and degrading commentary but, even worse, Ryuk’s slight touches and insulting words were having quite the visible effect on him. Light’s cock twitched and the teen marveled that it was already hardening again. This was awful. How could he enjoy being humiliated like this?

He makes me feel so… oh! Oh lord. I am such a fucking girl! Light burned hotter when Ryuk almost said as much as the Shinigami hissed “endearments” among them calling him his babe and his bitch and his pretty little whore.

Light groaned—normally if anyone were to even hint at such a thing they would find their names written in the Death Note but for some reason when Ryuk did it now he didn’t mind so much. In fact Ryuk’s words were making him even more excited—a feat that a moment ago he hadn’t thought possible. It seemed his self-respect had gone the same way as his masculinity.

The Shinigami grinned down at him as he removed his loin cloth again to reveal the monster beneath.

“Go on, give us a kiss.”

Light paused and looked up at the Shinigami questioningly, unbeknownst to him, a flicker of fear returning to his eyes. He’d never done anything like this before. There was no way…

“You don’t have to take it in your mouth. I don’t want to choke you. I just figured you should get to know my cock seeing as it’s gonna be inside you quite often in the future,” Ryuk answered his unspoken inquiries in a rumbling chuckle and Light gasped. There was just something in the sound of Ryuk’s voice had that ring of muscles clenching and unclenching inside of him again. That, and he was still being forced to stare at the Shinigami’s huge, black penis.

“…It’s gonna be inside you quite often…”

“I will show you pleasure beyond mortal comprehension…”

The boy whined again and overtaken by some instinct he did not fully understand brushed his cheek against it. Light startled as Ryuk groaned and shuddered above him. Seeing the affect he had on the Shinigami, Light tentatively licked the weeping tip. Before glancing up again to gauge his reaction and felt a flash of irritation. Ryuk was such a smug bastard, his usual grin turning into a mocking leer before gripping the boy by the back of the head, grabbing a fist full of Light’s soft brown hair, and shoving his face against it again, encouraging the boy to work that devilish little mouth and he did, oh lord he did, trembling and mewling most sweetly the boy continued his near-mindless licking.

“Yes, oh yes. You’re a natural at this, Light. It looks like I’ll have to keep you, my precious pet.”

Light gave an answering hiss, blowing on the black cock before him as Ryuk’s wing feathers continued to caress and tease across the boy’s bare skin until they’d squeezed from him yet another lusty moan. Light couldn’t fathom why but, despite the humiliation, he absolutely loved this—the pleasure again coiled white hot in the base of his stomach as Ryuk rumbled and hissed in his ear degrading little endearments and graphic descriptions of the many ways he was going to fuck him. Light shivered again and rocked in place his own erection strained hard against his stomach. Fuck, now he’d never been so hard in his life.

Still Light’s more competitive nature, which had gone suspiciously dormant from the moment Ryuk first touched him, was violently reawakened by the disgustingly smug looks the Shinigami kept sending him. He could not leave such blatant disrespect unchallenged—no matter how oddly pleasant it was making him feel. It didn’t take long to deduce the source of Ryuk’s smugness—oh god, just looking at himself—what the hell happened? Ryuk had made him lose control. Completely lose control. He had Light thrashing about on the bed wildly while he himself barely moved—just a poke here and a touch there. Light imagined the Shinigami as much like a spider reeling in his prey. The inexperienced teenager had been reluctant at first to touch his monstrous bed partner and had in fact been reluctant about the whole idea of sex. Ryuk had capitalized on his inaction.

Well, how would Ryuk like it if the shoe was on the other foot? I’ll show him! The teenager thought as he grasped at Ryuk’s dick with both hands, mimicking what Ryuk had done to him to make him cum but this earned him no reaction other than a surprised, rumbling chuckle as Light worked the shaft.

“Ah, I knew you’d be skilled with your hands.”

That’s when Light realized that this was by no means a level playing field. Hell, he wasn’t even in the same league. This was all new to him. Everything Ryuk did to him was making him so excited he could barely think straight while Ryuk, improbably as it had at first seemed, implied that he was experienced—very experienced and obviously very in control of what happened here. Light envied the Shinigami’s control at the moment—it was the control he used to think he possessed before Ryuk had swiftly and brutally divested him of that notion as well as his clothes. In retrospect his attempt at invoking a reaction from the Shinigami was stupid and only served to highlight his inexperience—Ryuk hadn’t even started with the genitals. He’d touched him practically anywhere else first and yet he managed to get him this worked up. Light was just beginning to calculate the vast magnitude of his error—what would he have done if he had made Ryuk lose control? Just who would have been the one who would’ve been, quite literally, fucked should he have succeeded? In retrospect it just seemed like a monumentally bad idea. Light just hated the humiliation. He hated feeling like this.

Fuck, he loved feeling like this.

He was just so confused.

This had somehow seemed like a good idea at the time. To allow the Shinigami so much power over him… No, the Shinigami always had this power over him. Ryuk just had refrained from using it without his permission. But now that he had agreed to this—he let Ryuk have this control, there was no going back now. He knew this better than anyone.

But that was the point, wasn’t it?

He was supposed to relinquish all control so that Ryuk could take care of him. Ryuk was supposed to take care of him—he promised!

“Eager, are we? Shall we speed things along then?”

“Er… I have some lotion in the drawer,” Light blurted out in a rush and then blushed again at the sound of his own voice; breathy, cracking, and sounding almost panicked in its urgency as he noticed the direction of Ryuk’s reach.

“I have mine,” the monster said, grinned down at him. The genius stared dumbly as Ryuk unclipped something from his belt.

“What…?”

“Why do you think it didn’t hurt you the first time I fingered you?”

Light startled as the skull-shaped flask landed next to his face. A poisonous-looking green liquid sloshed around within the bottle.

“What is that?”

“It’s… you know… lubricant—from the Shinigami world. Hmmm… I haven’t used it in a while. It’s getting a bit crusty at the bottom but I think it’s still good. It’s not like these things have an expiration date.”

Light made a strangled noise. “And you just happened to have something like that clipped to your belt?”

“Hey, Shinigami have needs too! And it’s not just used for sex, you know—there’s a lot of dry things in the Shinigami world. Like, most everything, really…”

“But why insist on using yours? Is it special magic lubricant or something?” the teen asked incredulously.

“No. It just tastes like apples.”

Light made a face. “Seriously, Ryuk?”

“Why not?” The Shinigami asked while showing the boy that his claws were good and greasy. “I’m gonna have to stretch you out quite a bit and even then it’s gonna be a tight fit…” Ryuk gave another of his deep throaty chuckles that made Light’s hair stand on end. “This is going to be a very pleasant experience for me but let’s see about making it a pleasant experience for you too, shall we?”

Light tried to relax but this time he couldn’t help but try and track the progress of that grease-covered talon rapidly approaching his throbbing hole and had to resist the urge to back away and cross his legs. Light sweated a little bit as Ryuk traced the rim of his hole, knowing exactly where those wicked-looking talons were going.

“Er… Don’t you think you should trim your nails first?”

Ryuk gave him a look that obviously conveyed that such a solution was out of the question. Light swallowed down a sudden lump in his throat and hoped he hadn’t said anything to offend the Shinigami. “I can’t. But don’t worry, Light, it won’t hurt you if you cooperate. I know my way around a human body and I can see what I’m doing. I didn’t hurt you before, did I?”

“No, but… “

Light yelped when Ryuk grabbed him by his hair and shoved him into his lap again.

“And who said you could stop? Work it, bitch.” Ryuk snickered at the utterly indignant expression on the teenager’s face. Light opened his mouth, no doubt to say something scathing, but all that came out was a confused whine as the Shinigami slipped a large, clawed finger up his tight hole.

“Now Light, I need you to relax. I don’t want to hurt you but I doubt you’d want me to snag on anything.”

“Could you just… be careful?” Light demanded, his voice cracking horribly again as the Shinigami continued to play with his most intimate parts.The Shinigami began to paw at his dick again in a blatant attempt to distract him from the large greasy finger sliding around most uncomfortably inside of him. Light gave out a questioning, indecisive little whine as Ryuk cupped his balls. Ryuk just kept pressing and squeezing things and it still scared Light just how much he liked it. Light chided himself—should it really have been a surprise? Hadn’t the Shinigami said he’d know exactly how to touch him so that he’d enjoy it most?

But everything the Shinigami had done to him before paled in comparison to the most wonderful feeling of Ryuk’s larger-than-human finger wriggling around inside of him, stretching his insides. Why had he never done this before? It was like his body was telling him that it was made for this. At first it had ached a little bit and was a bit uncomfortable but overall his body was very accepting of the intrusion—accepting enough that Light moaned and began to push back, unconsciously rolling his hips, trying to drive it deeper, his body craving more of that delicious stretch.

But Ryuk gripped him forcefully by the ass, holding him back to prevent the boy from grinding back against his talon. Ryuk had been moving with care and precision to avoid snagging his human’s delicate insides on his claws. If Light had succeeded in driving his talon further inside the Shinigami doubted it would be much fun for him.

Ryuk chuckled. “Patience, Light. You’ll hurt yourself.”

Kira glared at Ryuk and twitched in place. While he understood the reason for his chastisement that didn’t stop him from wanting to follow through, to do what his body was clearly programmed to do. Ryuk chuckled as the boy gave a lusty moan as he squeezed his ass cheek again. Light shook as that lovely heat went thundering through him once more. The teen whined as Ryuk carefully extracted his finger—it felt so empty and wrong without it now. His dick was hard and leaking against his stomach and his insides throbbed from the loss of Ryuk’s finger. Light gave a surprised yelp as Ryuk suddenly flipped him onto his back once more and propped him up with a pillow.

“Since you can’t be trusted to stop squirming…”

“And whose fault is that?!” Light snapped indignantly as he was manhandled by the Shinigami.

“All the same I don’t want you hurting yourself. I’ll just have to hold you down for your own good.”

“That isn’t necessary, Ryuk.”

“Then stay still next time,” the Shinigami rebuked, snickering. “Now I can just hold you down or chain you up—whichever you prefer.”

“You don’t have to chain me...”

“Alright then,” the Shinigami snickered as he pinned the boy to the mattress between his bony knees. Ryuk’s legs were impossibly long and of inhuman proportions so he could so pin him without even moving from his very much favored spot between Light’s legs. He much preferred to see the boy splayed out in front of him anyway and he enjoyed watching Light’s face as he touched and teased him.

The teen swallowed as Ryuk prepared to penetrate him again—from this position he could actually see it going in. Light tried to make himself relax but he was sure he tensed up a bit upon re-entry.

Ryuk paused when Light visibly tensed up. The teen yelped again when the Shinigami’s weight shifted so that for a moment it felt like he was being crushed into the mattress. Ryuk trapped both of Light’s wrists with his other hand, pinning them above his head, and began kissing and licking up the boy's neck and chest until his nervous lover's harsh, rattling breaths had leveled out once again into heavy pants. Ryuk painted a trail of apple-flavored saliva across the boy’s lips and Light gave out a frustrated whine.

“Shhh… it’s okay, love. Leave it all to me—I’ll take care of you.” Ryuk cooed again as he finally re-entered the boy, angling his claw so that it would brush against a certain special place inside the smaller male.

“Ah! Shit!” Light hissed as Ryuk’s claw carefully raked against his prostate. Only the fact that Ryuk had bent his legs over his shoulders kept him from kicking mindlessly. The Shinigami’s ghastly smile widened as he again made the boy arch in his hold, much harder than before. He would make the teen cry out again and again as he kept tapping his sweet spot. The boy’s breathing became ragged once more as Ryuk kept playing inside of him until Light was sure he was going to explode.

“Fuck!” Light shouted as he was hit with wave upon wave of building pleasure and thrashed and strained against Ryuk’s hold. Somehow the weight and the pressure of the Shinigami’s hold was making him even more excited—the way the monster was dominating him while so very gently teasing him open. “Oh, fuck! Fuck me! Oh, Ryuk!”

Ryuk laughed and his human flushed as red as an overripe apple. The teen alternated between cursing and moaning as Ryuk took his sweet-time stretching him out.

Light groaned and languidly thrashed his head about in a futile effort to hide his face as Ryuk kept teasing out such embarrassing reactions from him. Light thought he just might die from the humiliation.

“Aw, fuck! Ryuk, will you still respect me in the morning?”

“As much as ever,” the Shinigami assured him indulgently as he lapped at Light’s neck. The boy shuddered, his toes curling into the blankets as Ryuk’s touch lit his every nerve on fire. It felt so good that it ached, he wanted more, somehow, and he was sure Ryuk was just toying with him. Light whimpered, he wanted release but as the same time, he never wanted it to end.

“Fuck, Ryuk!” Light groaned again as the Shinigami kept giving him that absolutely divine feeling inside of him.

“Yes?” The Shinigami asked, amusement practically dripping off that one syllable.

“No, Ryuk! Don’t you stop—don’t you fucking dare stop!” The teen snarled when the Shinigami momentarily slowed in his motions. “Fuck! Harder, dammit!” Light hissed as he threw his arms around the Shinigami’s shoulders—Ryuk had released his arms but not his hips which remained pinned and twitching beneath the heavy weight of the Shinigami’s knees. But Light soon realized that the reason for this taste of “freedom” was only so that Ryuk could torment him further—the teen bucked and arched again as the Shinigami squeezed and spread his ass cheeks. Light gave a long, drawn out moan—he absolutely loved the feeling of Ryuk’s hard rough hands on his ass. The Shinigami squeezed again and that tipped him over the edge. It was not long at all before Light was throwing his head back and howling Ryuk’s name.

“Wow, that was fast,” the Shinigami snickered as Light sagged bonelessly beneath him, panting from the release. Ryuk chuckled again as the teen began mindlessly snuggling into the large body pressing against his. Humans could be so passionate, especially the young ones. “I guess that’s what they mean by the ‘Speed of Light.’”

“Fuck you,” snarled the teenager even as he nuzzled his cheek against the monster’s broad chest.

“It’s okay, Light-o. You’re young and excitable… and I am just that good. It’s perfectly understandable.”

Ryuk snickered again. Light’s expression was nigh identical to that of an angry cat whose fur had been petted the wrong way. Neko indeed.

The Shinigami then licked the boy’s pretty little neck again in an attempt to sooth ruffled feathers. Ryuk hadn’t intended to be particularly mean to his Light but it was just so much fun to rile him up. Light hissed and struggled in the Shinigami’s hold but Ryuk just kept licking his neck, stimulating him, until the hisses once again turned to pleasured moans. Light found he just couldn’t hold onto his anger as Ryuk just kept doing such things to him. Ryuk noted how Light relaxed and moaned beneath him as he lapped affectionately at the boy’s neck.

Chapter Text

“One of the great things about humans your age is the quick recovery times. Shall we see how many times I can make you come?” The Shinigami asked, lecherously licking his lips while positioning himself above the writhing boy.

The teen’s flush deepened as Ryuk shoved his legs back for easier access.

This is really happening. Light felt a sudden spike of apprehension as he was hit by the reality that he was about to be penetrated by Ryuk’s monster dick. Even with all of that stretching—how could that possibly fit inside him?

“Er… Ryuk… you understand that if you hurt me too badly people will notice and you probably won’t be able to do it again.”

Ryuk snickered. “Don’t worry so much, Light. I promise I’ll be gentle with you.”

Light huffed indignantly but inwardly he was a bit relieved—he didn’t want to think about what would happen if Ryuk decided to play rough.

“Well, Light. I’d say you’re stretched out enough. So… I’m going to screw you now. You okay with that?” the Shinigami oh-so-politely informed the writhing boy beneath him. Light shook the sweat out of his bangs and face to glare up at the Shinigami.

“You have no sense of romance, do you Ryuk?”

“Then maybe you can teach me?” Ryuk grinned as his eyes trailed up and down the length of his lover’s body. Light blushed and then scowled as he realized what Ryuk was doing and saw himself as he was—naked, defenseless, and vulnerable before the monster and his own carnal desires. Light’s line of sight trailed down the Shinigami’s body. Ryuk was still fully-clothed other than the removal of his loin cloth. That somehow made Light feel even more vulnerable. It was drafty in here too—especially against his flushed, super-heated skin.

Right. Calm down. Just… relax, lie back, and wait for Ryuk to stick his dick in me. Fuck. Why did this seem like a good idea? Right. Forging connections.

Light almost laughed aloud. He managed to stop most of it by biting his lip but somehow in the process the sound mutated to resemble a rather embarrassing whine just as Ryuk pressed his huge black stiff up against the entrance of Light’s throbbing hole.

“Real eager, hmm pet?” Ryuk laughed as he ruffled Light’s once-perfect hair. “It's okay, Light. You’ll be getting it soon enough.”

Perhaps I’ve made a mistake.

Light opened his mouth to retort to Ryuk’s inane commentary and, perhaps, stall for time but whatever he might have said was cut off as Ryuk was awkwardly pressing their bodies together and Light found he was being kissed again, hard.

What?! What does he think he’s doing? Light thought frantically as Ryuk’s hands possessively gripped his back and waist. Ryuk’s previous sojourns into Light’s mouth were no means disagreeable but this one blew them all away.

Light’s fingers idly flexed against Ryuk’s chest as the Shinigami once again slid his tongue against his.

Damn Ryuk, he just had to make this so damned… personal. Dammit, maybe this isn’t supposed to be just casual sex between roommates. Maybe Ryuk wanted something deeper all along?

Light hadn’t thought the Shinigami capable of such feelings but then he hadn’t thought himself capable either yet here he was, undeniably falling for the stupid Shinigami. Oh lord, he just might die.

Light squirmed as Ryuk remorselessly plundered his mouth with his long tongue—it was a crude but rather effective distraction as he was penetrated. Light gasped into Ryuk’s mouth as he felt Ryuk slowly press the tip in. It didn’t exactly hurt, well at least not as bad as he thought it would but it was definitely uncomfortable. Light now fully understood why Ryuk had taken the time to stretch him out and to go so slowly before. Still the Shinigami’s size was uncomfortable and Light was sure he was being stretched much farther than he was really meant to be. The teen grunted but forced himself to relax as the Shinigami pushed in a few more precious centimeters. Light dared to look down between his spread legs and observed that the tip was in plus a little bit more for all that.

Fuck! Ryuk’s going to kill me.

Light startled when Ryuk gave a whine of his own and trembled above him but nevertheless continued to go at his slow, gentle pace. More sweat trailed down Light’s cheek as he realized that Ryuk was being very considerate—the Shinigami quite obviously wanted to pound him and there was literally nothing stopping him from doing so aside from basic decency which would normally mean nothing to such a creature as a Shinigami. And yet Ryuk was still holding back for Light’s sake. Light wondered if he would have such patience if their positions were reversed. He liked to think he would but then what Light liked to think he would do and what he would actually do were quite often two vastly different things.

“Fuck!” Light cursed as he felt a sharp stab of pain.

“Shit. I’m sorry Light. I angled it a bit wrong.”

“It hurts.”

“I know. I’m sorry. Give me a minute here—just look at you. You’d doing great. You’re such a good boy.” Ryuk assured him while apologetically kissing and licking all over his face and throat.

Light blinked slowly even as he heaved in another ragged breath. That was so weird that for a split-second it took his mind off the pain. He didn’t think it was possible to make this weirder but Ryuk somehow managed it. Even weirder, Light found he kind of liked it when Ryuk spoke to him in such a way. He enjoyed the praise and the attention even when it was insultingly condescending. Light recalled that was not even the first time the Shinigami had taken such a patronizing tone with him either—for some reason his high school graduation came to mind.

The killer wondered if Shinigami just expressed affection differently or if Ryuk just had some sort of weird paternal fetish or something or… oh lord, maybe he had some sort of weird paternal fetish or something and Ryuk somehow picked up on that. He knew it was within the realm of possibility given his distinctive lack of fatherly attention growing up… This was ridiculous! It was also ridiculous how he found that, for some unfathomable reason, he thoroughly enjoyed Ryuk’s continued efforts to get slobber all over his face—that it somehow made him feel loved. Light grunted as Ryuk shifted around inside of him and the pain somewhat lessened. Nevertheless when Ryuk moved again he couldn't help but let out another involuntary whimper.

“We’re almost there now, precious.” Ryuk assured him in his most soothing tone and Light considered that he was about to get fucked by a Shinigami.

This was probably not the time to be wondering if he was weird.

What a time to be thinking of… There is clearly something wrong with me, Light groaned as he clung to Ryuk’s shoulders, his arms caught in an uncertain motion—once again unsure if he wanted to cling to Ryuk tighter or push him away. Ultimately he just ended up tugging, futilely, at Ryuk’s shoulder feathers. Light loved the feel of them as he threaded and kneaded his fingers through the downy, black tufts—they were also quite convenient to hold onto. Light tried to concentrate on that, how the feathers teased and tickled against his skin, as he stared vacantly at a fixed point on the ceiling instead of Ryuk… or what the Shinigami was doing between his legs as he pressed deeper, filling him up.

Light was sure that Ryuk was trying to be gentle with him, at times it seemed to the teen that Ryuk was taking things absurdly slow but given Ryuk’s size and Light’s own inexperience, Light was still concerned that it was going to be a painful experience. Ryuk continued to lick at his lips and neck in apology as he pushed the rest of the way in. Light’s chest heaved in relief as his partner settled inside of him. That wasn’t too bad—Light was well-aware it could have been much worse. Ryuk was being extremely careful with him for which Light was extremely grateful. The teen shifted slightly, trying to get used to the thick girth inside of him. It wasn’t that it hurt exactly, at least not anymore. It was a bit uncomfortable at first but once he got more used to it the sensation of Ryuk inside of him, stretching him, it actually felt pretty nice. Light noticed how Ryuk trembled above him, patiently waiting for him to get used to being so full of him and the teen let out a soft moan. This was all just so dirty and sexy and Light quivered in anticipation and apprehension for what was to come.

“Light. Can I… please?” the Shinigami whimpered and whined and the teen’s brown eyes widened in incomprehension. Part of him just couldn’t understand—Ryuk had all this power over him and yet, when it counted, he ceded all control to him? Ryuk kept waiting to make sure it was okay, that he was comfortable before continuing. True he kept teasing him and testing his limits but, Light realized, it was to better serve him.

This is what he meant when he said he’d take care of me.

Light glanced up at Ryuk’s face and couldn’t help but gasp when he saw those utterly besotted golden eyes. Ryuk wanted him. He really wanted him. He wanted him so badly. Light finally understood. Being the bottom did not deprive him of any power because now Ryuk was willing to cater to his desires. This… this was true power.

“Yes, Ryuk. You can move.”

Slowly, Ryuk began to move, carefully angling so that he brushed against Light’s sweet spot again and again.

“Ah!” The boy threw his head back and cried as Ryuk thrust again. “Ohmygod. Ohmy… Oh! Fuck!” Light cursed and whimpered as he clung helplessly to the damned devil in his bed. The megalomaniacal teen tried to hide his burning face by nuzzling against the Shinigami’s white, ropy neck as he spat out a slew of gibberish, curses, and conflicting orders as he was slowly fucked by the Shinigami. Though, Light acknowledged, he was being fucked with a care and tenderness one would not typically ascribe to such a being. He had of course imagined the possibility that it would be horrible—that Ryuk would be too rough with him, or he would be in near constant pain or, at best, it would be just a chore he had to get through in order to maintain good relations with his most important chess piece and best friend. He hadn’t anticipated that he’d actually love the feeling of Ryuk’s dick up his ass. Fuck, he was so filthy.

How could even Ryuk want him? He was supposed to be perfect! Not… not some queer little bitch and...
To Light’s further mortification Ryuk began chuckling and then Light realized that he had said most of what he was thinking aloud.

“Ryuk, I—” Light began but before he could get a word in edgewise or even begin to analyze what he said—let alone perform damage control and think of what excuses to offer—Ryuk had kissed him silent again.

“Say nothing, Light,” the Shinigami hissed in his ear. “It’s alright. I understand completely.”

Light moaned as he desperately grasped tighter to raven dark feathers as Ryuk drove in even deeper. It was just so good that it ached. He couldn’t get enough of it. Light whimpered and whined and arched up to meet each of Ryuk’s thrusts. He felt so powerless against the waves of pleasure building up inside of him. Light hadn’t wanted to admit to himself that he had temporarily surrendered himself up to the Shinigami. Ryuk could have easily hurt him—he could’ve been an inconsiderate asshole. Instead Ryuk was doing everything possible to make the experience enjoyable for him—even after he’d been a bit rude and impatient before, Ryuk was still patient with him.

“Don’t ever change Light, you’re perfect just the way you are.”

The brunet mewled again softly and leaned into Ryuk’s touch as those black talons gently trailed down the side of his cheek. That was just the thing—Ryuk was… kind. Light reflected that without Ryuk none of his plans would’ve even been possible. Only Ryuk could make him feel like this. Light had never felt so grateful to another being before. Ryuk, his saint, his guardian angel—the teenaged killer snorted to himself though “Saint Ryuk” had a certain ring to it.

The sociopathic teen didn’t like feeling indebted to anyone. He’d have to work to show his appreciation and find some way to pay off his debt. With apples of course, and sex—oh yes, a lot more sex... Damn—then, most likely, he’d always be in the Shinigami’s debt. Maybe Ryuk had planned it that way all along.

Light let out a slight, breathy laugh as he clung to the Shinigami’s larger frame while Ryuk continued with his gentle pounding. If Ryuk had planned it that way then the Shinigami was far cleverer than Light had ever given him credit for. He might as well just resign himself to the fact he would always be Ryuk’s… plaything. The teen felt a thrill go through him as black claws were suddenly wiping the sweat from his brow and gently caressing his cheek.

Well, maybe that won’t be so bad. Yes, Ryuk may lay claim to me because he is mine.

Light moaned loudly and nuzzled his face into his Shinigami’s strong chest. He didn’t even know what he was doing, really—it was all instinct. Light hated not knowing something and wished he had studied some sort of instruction manual, or porn, beforehand as he secretly feared that he was somehow doing it wrong. Ryuk, however, didn’t seem to mind. The Shinigami was obviously taking pleasure out of using his body. Light had never seen such a blissful look on Ryuk’s face even when he bought the Shinigami a whole bag of those special, expensive heritage apples.

Light thrashed about wildly as Ryuk pounded him; as his head whipped about on the mattress he caught the flash of something out of the corner of his eye. When it happened again Light considered the possibility that he might be hallucinating and that his recent discoveries about his sexuality and the mutual attraction he held with his Shinigami had caused him to finally crack. After catching sight of it a few more times it finally registered that he had left his closet door carelessly ajar in his haste to get changed but what he was seeing still didn’t make sense. Light was seeing a stranger in his closet mirror—some nude, slutty mess of a teenage boy with sweaty auburn brown hair just as messy as L’s who was currently in the process of being screwed out of his mind like a goddamned woman by a monster.

Fuck! That just couldn’t be him!

But now that he saw it, he couldn’t look away. He watched with morbid fascination as that thick black dick plunged in and out of his poor abused hole.

“Oh look! There you are. Aren’t you just precious? You make such a pretty pet.” The Shinigami murmured in a sickeningly sweet tone against his ear when he noted the direction of Light's gaze. Ryuk’s claws lovingly caressed the boy’s head, further messing up his once perfect hair.

“Do you like what you see? I know I do. You’re so amazing, Light. You’re so tight and good on my cock.”

Dark talons glided over the paler skin of Light’s chest and the action was reflected upon the boy in the mirror, fully dispelling him of the notion that he was seeing someone else and the teen let out yet another embarrassing whine as he rolled his hips, driving Ryuk deeper inside of him. Just what did Ryuk do to him to make him so undone?

“Oh, just look at you. Look at how you body hungers for my cock.” Ryuk again hissed in Light’s ear, inducing another throaty moan from the teenager. “Isn’t that the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen? You like me inside you don’t you, my sexy little cock slut? Oh, you are a treasure, Light. A precious gem, you don’t even realize how precious you are, and I have you all to myself. Don’t worry—I’ll take care of you, my little apple tart. Forever.”

Such ridiculous things to say! Light normally would’ve sneered at such insulting “endearments” and yet the Shinigami’s words had an effect on him anyway.

He found he just couldn’t stay mad at Ryuk at the moment, irritated, yes, but the Shinigami was making him feel too good to allow him to hold onto his anger as Ryuk teased all the secrets from his flesh—how to make him blush and moan and sigh, how to make him writhe beneath him, losing all control, and how to make him scream for more. The killer let an insane little giggle burble up from his throat—it was just too much. Light shivered as Ryuk kissed him softly up his chest and he was honestly scared by how much he loved it; by just how much he wanted the Shinigami. Ryuk could have him, own him, claim him and that would be fine as long as he continued to give him more of this wonderful feeling. One eye drifted back to the mirror as Ryuk held him possessively to his chest—it felt so good, so sweet, and so safe, it was amazing—he really felt loved and protected in his Shinigami’s arms and seeing himself in such a manner with Ryuk’s wings wrapping protectively all around him, it was practically a religious experience. The God of Death had reached out and touched him and it was good.

This couldn’t just be a physical thing. He was sure of it! He had the emotional connection he’d been hoping for too. Ryuk really did… well like him at least, Light was well aware that when he wanted to the Shinigami could lie almost as well as he could but there were certain tells that couldn’t be faked. Ryuk really did like him, he really did want him. Of course there was still the possibility that Ryuk was only using him for entertainment and that he only said pretty little words to make him lower his guard but that didn’t really make sense now. If Ryuk was trying to tear him down he had ample opportunity to do it before when he was most… vulnerable. Light didn’t think Ryuk would try and make him feel better just to tear him apart later—he may be a Shinigami but he wasn’t especially sadistic—he just operated under a different set of rules that were, for the most part, uncaring of human misery. Light hoped he was the exception; he believed himself to be seeing as he didn’t really consider himself to be a mere human anymore but the God of the New World.

The boy allowed himself to get lost in the physical sensations of Ryuk moving above him, his toes curling into the bed sheets as Ryuk thrust into him again and again. That was so good. Oh, he’d never felt so good!

Ryuk. He makes me feel so…

The realization that only Ryuk could make him feel seemed to open up the floodgates on emotions he’d kept dammed up for years. Fuck—he was crying.

That’s impossible. I don’t cry. And why should I cry now when I’m truly happy? How stupid is that?!

The teen blinked and another tear trailed down his cheek, apparently not getting the message that Light Yagami never cried.

I’m truly happy the teenage prodigy thought with unmitigated wonder even as he hoped Ryuk didn’t notice his slight… ocular leakage problem. He wasn’t crying because crying was for stupid, weak people and not for Gods. Unfortunately Ryuk had indeed noticed. In retrospect, it was impossible not to what with Ryuk holding him so close and him making such a goddamned spectacle of himself…

“Are you okay? I’m not hurting you, am I?” the Shinigami asked with genuine concern. Light mindlessly touched the back of his lover’s neck where Ryuk’s smooth, dry skin met his stiff and spiky hair.

“I’m just… so happy,” Light said and immediately cringed at his own words and the sappiness of his own voice—it sounded so cheesy and fake even to his own ears, even though he truly was being sincere, or trying to be. He knew how to fake sincerity with ease but when it came down to it had he ever really been so honest with another? His entire life he’d been putting on this show of normalcy for everyone around him but Light knew Ryuk didn’t care about that—Ryuk didn’t care if he lied, or killed, or was uninterested in girls—and even if the Shinigami only started hanging around him because he found him entertaining that didn’t detract from the fact that Ryuk accepted him just the way he was, he even liked him just the way he was, even knowing those flaws Light himself was loathe to acknowledge and those secrets that would otherwise destroy him. Light sagged into the Shinigami’s arms, gazing up at Ryuk’s face with wonder as the monster slowly made sweet love to him, and the megalomaniacal teenager entertained visions for once he reigned over his New World to come with Ryuk at his side as his Saint and Herald Angel.

Light cried out when Ryuk suddenly nipped him on the shoulder, drawing blood. But before Light could even think to protest this rougher treatment Ryuk was kissing him roughly again while pumping him again in time with his thrusts. Light whimpered into the Shinigami’s mouth in pleasure, fear, and confusion, his whole body shaking even harder when he tasted his own blood on Ryuk’s tongue. He felt a sudden swelling of gratitude that he was still alive. Light was well-aware that if he had a mind to, Ryuk could have easily ripped his throat out. The teen whined at the thought and unconsciously bared his throat in absolute submission. Above him the Shinigami gave out a loud, fierce snarl between bloodied fangs. Light gasped when Ryuk suddenly released, flooding his insides with his seed. Ryuk’s release and continued harsh pumping triggered his own—Light screamed and for a minute it seemed the whole world went white. His bedroom echoed with the sounds of his harsh, rattling breaths for an indeterminable amount of time afterwards.

Chapter Text

Ryuk was silent, having no need to breathe, but even so Light found Ryuk’s continued silence—and not to mention that sudden vicious behavior towards the end—a cause for concern.

What’s his problem?! Going all… psycho on me like that! Did I do something wrong?

“Ryuk… What the fucking hell?!” Kira groaned once he could speak again, glancing down meaningfully at his wounded shoulder. He tried to sound menacing but knew he must be failing miserably if he looked and sounded half as fucked as he currently felt. Hell, he could barely even move at the moment—he was exhausted, drained, and his body ached yet he somehow found that satisfying. Even the bite wound seemed to throb pleasantly in time with the ache below.

Light dared another glance at the mirror and grimaced in disgust—he had somehow managed to shoot his wad all over the reflecting glass—but unfortunately his reflection was still visible—that sweaty, messy, dirty boy was still trapped within the mirror’s glass now an even greater mess stained with semen and his own blood. The teen’s reflection squinted back at him with sleepy, half-lidded eyes and Light was startled at the utterly satisfied curve of his lips, even in his obvious irritation and disgust.

The teen let himself fall completely onto his back, sinking deeper into the mattress. He felt kind of light-headed—like he was floating on clouds—probably from the blood-loss and endorphins and he smiled softly even when Ryuk floated above him again, his eyes gleaming a malevolent red in the darkness, pointing a talon at his face.

“Mine.” The Shinigami snarled and Light was momentarily startled by the ferocity of that assertion. The way Ryuk said it, it almost wasn’t a word but something older, more primal, more… dominant.

Light pleasantly shivered again, despite himself, even though Ryuk’s current behavior was unnerving and probably shouldn’t be at all encouraged…

Just then Ryuk once again flopped on the bed next to him and held him tightly to his chest, sniffing his hair.

Light blinked in confusion. What the hell brought this on?

Kira calculated shrewdly even as he brought an idle hand up to stroke Ryuk’s wing feathers. From what he knew about Ryuk (which, Light realized, wasn’t very much, actually—there was probably a long and bloody history there that he didn’t even know about and should probably make an effort to learn one day) as he attempted to look at things from the Shinigami’s perspective. While Light didn’t consider himself to be much of a “people person” and didn’t typically feel very deeply for others he was very skilled at putting himself in other’s shoes in order to find out what they wanted—it made it easier to manipulate them. Kira recalled just how confused Ryuk had seemed when he showed him any kindness. How frequently the Shinigami had described his own world as lonely and boring place and regardless of Ryuk’s earlier boasting Light imagined that Ryuk would have had difficulty in finding willing romantic partners with that face of his—surely they’d take one look at him and reject him out of hand like he’d almost done, never realizing what they could have had…

Their loss. They can’t have him anyway. He’s all mine and I don’t want to share… Well… fuck! That’s why! It should’ve been obvious. Should it be any wonder now that Ryuk might be a bit possessive of me then? Hell, I’d be possessive of me too.

Light smiled ruefully but decided that ultimately this was actually a good thing. He reasoned that if Ryuk felt the need to try and terrorize him into staying that suggested that the monster was actually feeling insecure and was afraid that he would leave him. Light took that to mean that Ryuk really did care, albeit in a twisted, fiendish sort of way. Good, he would’ve hated for this to be some one-sided thing where he made a complete and utter fool of himself—Ryuk was the only one that ever made him feel anything like this and if Ryuk felt even a fraction of what he was feeling for Ryuk then Light could completely understand the Shinigami’s reactions, even if he felt more than a little annoyed with Ryuk for biting him. Light frowned slightly to himself. If his speculation was correct then Ryuk needed validation. Some assurance that he wasn’t just using him…

“I'm yours,” Light assured so abruptly and insistently that the Shinigami actually released him in surprise so that he could better gape at the human staring back at him, naked and unafraid.

The teen took the opportunity to crawl, or rather attempt to crawl on top of his lover. After all that, he was feeling completely drained of energy and though he tried to make his own way his trembling, tired limbs were just refusing to cooperate. At the moment his body wanted nothing more than to roll over and fall asleep but from what he had heard and read he knew that was considered rather rude even though it was a perfectly normal biological response for human males. Also Ryuk seemed to have no such problems with staying awake and so Light challenged himself to keep his eyes open for at least a little bit longer and so he kept dragging his tired body towards his goal. Fortunately Ryuk, upon seeing Light’s intentions, helped pull him up the rest of the way or else he would have most likely collapsed asleep mid-struggle.

“I’m yours,” Kira asserted again when Ryuk continued to gape at him, kissing the lips that were still red with his own blood. “And your mine,” Light clarified as he snuggled against his monster’s broad chest.

Ryuk was silent for such a long time after that that Light worried he'd somehow committed some breach of Shinigami manners or social conduct. Maybe Ryuk had wanted to scare him? Should he have pretended to be afraid? He could fake it easily enough and...

Light froze as he felt those gentle claws trailing through his hair. “Always, my pet.”

Light glanced up at his partner’s face and was stunned. The Shinigami’s eyes held such gratitude and wonder. Perhaps Ryuk felt just as grateful to him as he did to Ryuk? Light wasn’t sure if he really deserved such gratitude. After all, pretty much all he did was lay there and react when Ryuk did those amazing things to him and he hadn’t even known what the hell he was doing— surely he must have been awful! Light was used to being the best at everything so it was humbling, not to mention infuriating, knowing that Ryuk was so much more experienced and… dammit, better than him in this regard.

But then again, I guess I wasn’t that bad… if Ryuk’s getting this crazy at just the thought of losing me.

Ryuk hadn’t seemed to mind his inexperience but Light resolved to get better at it for Ryuk’s sake and to prove that he could do better. One day he would be the best at this too but the teen reasoned he could only get better with practice. Somehow, he didn’t think Ryuk would mind teaching him either. Still, Light kind of felt like he was using the Shinigami—honestly he had been using him, or at least as much as Ryuk would allow himself to be used.

No. No more.

It didn’t matter that Ryuk was a Shinigami, that he couldn’t be killed, that he could take it—Ryuk was his lover and his closest friend and, much like his sister and his mother, Ryuk should be considered off-limits in his game with L. Besides, there wasn’t much the Shinigami could do for him anyway without arousing suspicion. It would kind of feel like cheating, anyway, to use a Shinigami against a detective of infinite wealth and resources that worked outside the law. Okay, maybe “cheating” was the wrong word. Denying the use of Ryuk would be denying himself of one of his major advantages but then no one ever said the game was fair. He’d just have to find a way to beat L by wits alone.

Simple enough, Light thought because at the moment he felt like he could do anything. He would definitely be making the world a better place and reigning as its supreme, omnipotent God. Ah, hell. Why stop at Earth? Ryuk obviously found the Shinigami world to be just as rotten. Light wondered if there was a way for Ryuk to take him there. They could make it better… together.

Light was fascinated whenever Ryuk told him about his world. The Shinigami seemed to think it was boring but Light didn’t think it sounded so bad. There was hardly any crime there because the penalties for disobeying the law of the land were so harsh so it was mostly just Shinigami doing what Shinigami do—gambling and napping away eternity.

Light already had a few ideas on how to make it better and less dull. They could experiment with planting some apple trees from Earth, introduce the Shinigami population to such human concepts as morality and Mario Golf, furnish Ryuk’s cave and give it a fresh paint job and voila—a whole new world!

The more that he thought about it, the more it seemed like a better option than sticking it out here—if it was at all possible. He’d have to talk it over with Ryuk, of course, but he already really liked the idea. Even if, no when, he ultimately defeated L there would always be another detective, maybe not as brilliant as L, and while Light was sure he could take it the constant battles would be draining. Now that Ryuk had shown him there was more to life than just homework and death he wanted to enjoy it, not just survive it. He most certainly wouldn’t mind moving in with his new boyfriend, he’d have much more freedom to spend time with Ryuk if they lived at his place, and he could judge humanity just as easily from up there.

Light sagged in Ryuk’s embrace as he was kissed again. Ryuk kissed him softly and without teeth before setting him down on top of the mattress. Light whined when Ryuk abruptly got out of bed and left the room.

Where the hell does he think he’s going?! I don’t want him to leave! Light thought with obvious irritation. Though he would never admit it aloud but at the moment he wanted nothing more than to cuddle with the Shinigami, to feel Ryuk's larger body pressed against his. But Light’s concerns were laid to rest when Ryuk returned a few minutes later with a warm, wet cloth. Light’s sense of wonder and gratitude towards the creature soared to new heights when Ryuk began gently wiping him down and treating and wrapping his wounded shoulder.

“So…” Ryuk regarded him with his ever-laughing face as he tucked the sleepy boy into bed. “Kira submits to no man,’ huh? I guess it’s a good thing I’m a God of Death.” Ryuk rumbled in his ear.

The teen scowled at the Shinigami even as another involuntary shiver wracked his body. “You… you are such a jerk!” Light groaned, his voice becoming muffled as he buried his reddening face in his pillows.

“I love you too, Light-o.” The Shinigami snickered in such a way that it was impossible to tell if he was being sarcastic or not—perhaps even Ryuk didn’t know but somehow it seemed unlikely—“mushy” really didn’t fit either of them. Dammit, he was Kira—he couldn't afford to be all mushy!

Dammit, this is how idiots screw up! I can’t believe I’m going soft and for a Shinigami of all people! But then again… if I really want to… How can I possibly deny such feelings when I’ve already felt them? Ryuk makes me the happiest I’ve ever been in my life and I want to deny this because I’m… embarrassed? Really? Dammit, I can’t deny this! I don’t want to! I'm in love!

I am in love.

Shit. I am in fucking love with Ryuk.

Fuck my life. Light thought as Ryuk continued to pet him, trailing gentle claws down his back lovingly.

I can’t afford to be letting my personal feelings throw me off my game… but then that would be a concern anyway. They've always said these feelings are wrong, especially this sort of relationship, that they're compromising, entrapping. But what if they're wrong? They are wrong! I know that now. This isn't a curse! And even if it is, then so be it! Leave me uncured. I've never heard of a nicer curse to have. No, it’s actually better this way, really. This way I know my own weakness and can calculate around it. Besides, it’s not like Ryuk can tell anyone so no one will ever be able to accuse me of going soft. Light reasoned as Ryuk spooned up behind him, just like Light had wanted, and the teen eagerly snuggled up against the larger body. He pointedly ignored looking in the mirror again once he got a glimpse of the utterly ridiculous silly, sappy smile on his face that would have put even Matsuda to shame.

Chapter Text

Light relaxed in the gentle embrace of his Shinigami’s arms. He had just started to drift off when Ryuk hummed in his ear.

“Light…?”

Kira’s eye slowly opened, red-tinted and irritated.

“What is it?”

“I really do love you, you know.“

“Yeah, okay, I love you too, you stupid idiot. Now let me sleep. Human bodies get tired, you know,” Light snapped. Ryuk chuckled again and caressed the side of his face with his talons.

“I know. Good night, Light-o.”

“We can do this again tomorrow,” the teen blurted out suddenly and then blushed when he realized he’d given voice to unplanned and unfiltered thoughts. “You know. If you want to…”

Ryuk chuckled again he settled his claws over the boy’s chest, right over his left pec and the boy tried to snuggle up impossibly closer. “Good to know.”

“…And there were some things I wanted to talk to you about… like living arrangements and—”

The Shinigami giggled when Light cut himself off mid-sentence to yawn most adorably. “You are just way too cute.” Ryuk teased and Light’s sleepy gaze instantly morphed into an irritated glare once again.

Poor kid’s so highly-strung. Ryuk didn’t think Light would ever stop being a worrier—it just wasn’t in his nature. He knew Light would be high-maintenance but that was okay—though it may not seem so when he was demanding his apples, the immortal Death God did indeed know patience.

“Tomorrow, Light. Worry about it tomorrow,” Ryuk rumbled as he stroked the hair on the back of boy’s head. The teen made a surprised cute little noise, somewhere between a huff and a whine at the sudden contact before once again settling into the feeling of being petted in such a manner. “Sleep now.”

That seems like good advice, Light thought as he once again felt his eyelids growing heavy. He finally gave in to his body’s demands.

***

The next morning, Light was surprised to find that the bite Ryuk had left on his shoulder had already healed leaving behind noting but a perfect ring of scars. Yet his shoulder continued to throb, giving off a weird, slight phantom ache.

“Ryuk…”

“Yeah?” the Shinigami grunted from underneath the boy. Light had been using his chest as a pillow but Ryuk didn’t particularly mind.

“Why did you bite me?”

Ryuk regarded him silently for such a long moment that at first Light thought he wasn’t going to answer him.

“…It’s traditional. You know how I’ve told you we share a bond? This merely strengthens it while sending other Shinigami a clear message that you’re mine and off limits.”

Light carefully considered Ryuk’s words as well as the implications behind them. “And such a message is necessary?”

“Yes.”

Light abruptly rolled off of his boyfriend, his lethargic, aching body hitting the mattress like a rag doll.

“And you didn’t see fit to warn me?”

“I’m telling you now.” The Shinigami snapped defensively.

Light glared at him.

“Ah, Light-o. You always give me such a hard time!” Ryuk whined. Light made an indignant noise when the Shinigami ruffled his hair.

“You don’t understand. It’s been nearly a millennium since there’s been a breeder that would willingly sleep with Shinigami…”

Light made a face. “Not Shinigami, Ryuk. Just you.”

Ryuk looked oddly touched and Light didn’t know whether to allow this weird warm and fuzzy feeling that was building up inside of him under Ryuk’s heated gaze or to go with his first instinct to be offended that Ryuk would think he’d be willing to sleep with anyone or anything just to gain more power—even if before tonight that might’ve been true.

“Precisely. You see I’m sure the guys back home were hoping I would forget to claim you for myself. In that case you wouldn’t belong to me but to the Shinigami Realm and then they’d all want a go at you.”

“They can’t now though, right?” the teen asked suddenly, “I mean, I’m yours and yours alone?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

“I really am sorry I couldn’t tell you.”

Light sighed; while he was grateful that Ryuk had taken steps to ensure he wouldn’t be passed around the Shinigami realm he was annoyed that Ryuk hadn’t seen fit to warn him of the danger. The teen heaved another sigh and once again rested his head against the monster’s chest. He wasn’t about to admit it but he kind of liked the soreness of the bite—it ached pleasantly along with his insides.

Well, whatever Ryuk did to me, it’s undoubtedly too late to take it back now so there’s no sense getting upset about it. And Ryuk is a Shinigami, after all. You can’t exactly apply human standards of etiquette to him. Hell, Ryuk probably doesn’t even know what “etiquette” means. But for a Shinigami he’s being shockingly nice—it must be my positive influence. From the sound of things he didn’t have to do that. He did me a pretty big favor, really. “In that case… thank you.” Light decided to let it slide this one time, but he swore that if Ryuk ever pulled anything like that again without his permission there would be Hell to pay…

“Wait a goddamned minute. Just what did you mean by breeder?”

“Er…”

“I’m sure it hasn’t escaped your notice that I am male. You’re not seriously trying to say you somehow magically knocked me up?!” Light scoffed.

“Well, actually…”

Light turned to scowl at the Shinigami—he must be having him on! “Are you seriously trying to say you got me pregnant?”

“Actually, if you want to get technical the notebook got you pregnant or rather you got yourself pregnant.”

Kira continued to glower at his partner as he oh-so-casually folded his arms across his chest “Explain.”

“You know how I told you that Shinigami take human lifespans for themselves? Well, humans can’t use that life energy but it isn’t wasted—your body is just absorbing it but not using it. I’ve never known a human to write as many names as you did but I do know it’s not really that healthy to be keeping it in and that spirit energy—it wants to be released.”

“Not healthy?”

“Yeah… Your body will somehow revenge itself against you if you don’t release it. I think it’s some sort of psychological toll or something like that.”

Oh. He was fine then—they must have caught it just in time because there was absolutely nothing wrong with him.

“The Spirit energy can only be released in two ways. Either upon your death… or by being bred to a Shinigami.”

“So what does that mean for me exactly? Do I need to be making arrangements for when I give birth in nine months?” Light asked snidely. He was still having trouble processing what Ryuk was telling him. I’m pregnant?! I’m fucking pregnant. I can’t be pregnant! Fuck! The God of the New World can’t afford to be having… mood swings when there are criminals to judge! This is horrible! What if I get all… pissy and hormonal one day and make a mistake?

“Oh don’t worry about that. You already did. Spirit energy. It’s not like a human pregnancy. It’s quick, painless, and released immediately after I imbue you with my essence so...that is, essentially, every time I cum in your ass you’ll release some more.”

“Wait, it already happened?!” How could I not notice something like that?!

“Did you happen to notice that white flash when you came? Spirit energy.”

“And here I thought you were just that good.”

“I am that good. Not every Shinigami could fuck you well enough to make you release spirit energy. That takes talent, you know.”

“So it’s already done then? I’m not pregnant anymore?” Light almost sighed in relief.

“Oh no. that was just one lifespan released. To be ‘done’ I’d have to screw you for every name written in the notebook so… you’re probably going to be ‘pregnant’ for the rest of your existence. But I wouldn’t worry about that. You seem to be adapting to it rather well.”

The teen gripped his bedsheets with clenched fists.

Ryuk looked on in concern when the teen made a little sound that almost sounded like sobbing but it didn’t stop there—the sound kept building up until the bedroom was filled with the sounds of harsh, mad laughter.

“You okay there, Light?”

The teen eventually calmed down enough to continue their conversation but there was now an odd note in his voice and his speech was still punctuated by the occasional deranged giggle.

Ryuk worried he had somehow broken him.

“So this… spirit energy. It just… (ha ha) leaves? That’s all there is to it?” Light asked, or rather demanded, his eyes becoming wide and feverish. He grasped at Ryuk’s arm for support in a vice-like grip that would no doubt have hurt had Ryuk been a human.

“Yep.”

“But… where does it go?”

Ryuk gave the Shinigami equivalent of a shrug and Light was momentarily fascinated by the way his feathers bounced on his fluffy shoulders. “I think most of it goes to replenish the Shinigami Realm, nourishing any Shinigami it encounters by adding a few years to some Shinigami’s lifespan who has forgotten to write names. Some though may escape that fate and, over time, end up congealing into new Shinigami.”

“Wait, we might actually have… children?!” Light exclaimed; looking appropriately horrified at the thought. The teen bit his lip, trying to stifle more giggling sobs, obviously struggling against having yet another breakdown.

“Yes. And yes, Light, I do hope they take after you.”

Light was actually hoping that if they did have children… (God, children!) that they took after Ryuk—at least as far as brains were concerned. The last thing he needed was a literal God of Death with daddy issues and his intellect coming to challenge him and his power. He should probably at least take an interest in their lives. That would be the right thing to do…

“The little ones raise themselves just fine if that’s what you’re worried about,” Ryuk assured him when he noticed the worried crease of Light’s brow. “There’s no point in trying to mother them either since they wouldn’t even recognize us as their parents. In fact, for the first few centuries of life they devour pretty much anything in their path including the stray Shinigami who isn’t wary enough… or human for that matter.”

“Oh. So it will never be… safe to see them?”

“I wouldn’t say never,” Ryuk shrugged. “We’ll probably first see them whenever they show up for the card games.”

But, Ryuk said it took centuries. Wouldn’t I be long dead by then?

“But Light, they won’t recognize us as parents. Shinigami don’t even have that concept. We can be pals with them but don’t expect any love out of that arrangement.”

“Of course not! I was just… concerned about our hypothetical family... er, progeny. That’s all. Not that it matters now…”

Light startled when Ryuk casually threw an arm over his shoulders, wordlessly enveloping him in a hug, and was further taken aback by the look of honest caring and concern that his Shinigami was sending him. The teen instinctively leaned into Ryuk’s touch but internally he was conflicted.

Could it really be that I only slept with Ryuk because of some… spiritual hormone imbalance? No. No way—that too horrible to even consider!

“We can still be a family, Light. If you want, we can be each other's family.”

Light returned Ryuk’s embrace.

These feelings are mine, no matter how they happened to come about! I refuse to allow this new information to taint my one shot at happiness! But…

“Would you still want me, Ryuk? Even if I wasn’t a… breeder?”

“You’d still want to—?”

“Of course, you idiot.”

Ryuk tightened his embrace, holding him in his arms, and for a moment Light could pretend that all was right again.

“Light…”

“Yes?”

"Will you sit in my lap again?"

“I don’t know, Ryuk. Are you going to bite me again?”

“…no.”

“ Ryuk.”

“Maybe just a little nibble?”

Light gave an irritated huff and crossed his arms.

“Aw, c’mon. I just want to cuddle!”

The teen huffed again but the hints of a smile began to pull at his lips.

“Fine,” Light snapped as he crawled into Ryuk’s lap but the teen couldn’t help but flinch a bit when Ryuk hugged him tight and nuzzled into his neck.

“I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry—”

“Ryuk, just… let me get used to it again, okay?”

“I’m sorry.”

Chapter Text

“Ryuk…”

“Yeah?”

“You said we were… bonded? Now, I just want to clarify… that sounds rather permanent,” Light asked, squirming a bit as Ryuk embraced his naked body, holding him in his lap. The boy's breathing became heavier at the sensations of leather against his bare skin and he could feel that Ryuk was half-hard beneath his loincloth.

“It is. If you want I can keep you forever.”

“Forever… ?!“ Light blinked slowly as he thought over the implications of this. Had Ryuk just made him a literal God and… “Holy smokes… I just got married, didn’t I?”

“Well, I understand that humans do it differently,” the Shinigami said in an off-handed fashion while slipping one of his skull rings off of his claws and dropped it in Light’s smaller human hand.

“Shall I make an honest man of you, yet?”

The monster and the killer locked eyes and after a minute simultaneously broke down laughing into mad, hysterical giggles.

Ryuk then tried to slip the ring onto the proper finger but the ring that fit Ryuk proved too big for Light’s slender human fingers so he ended up wearing it on his thumb.

Fuck. He was married. Alright, maybe not in the legal sense—Light imagined it would be difficult getting any government to legally recognize a gay interspecies union—especially when half the couple couldn’t even be seen by most humans and wasn’t even believed to exist. Light imagined trying to get a marriage license for his invisible husband and snorted to himself. No, a private “ceremony” of just the two of them suited Light just fine. Especially since, from the sound of it, they were soul-bonded for eternity and…

Oh. “Ryuk…?”

“Yeah?”

“Will you still like me when I get older?”

“I would, but I think the question as you meant it is irrelevant. You’re mine now and I’m not too fond of the idea of you dying so I’ve frozen your lifespan as is my right as the Bonded to a Breeder —you’re going to be eighteen forever.”

Light’s eyes flashed with conflicted emotions. Ryuk had so much power over him and while Ryuk had yet to truly abuse it, that still didn’t sit well with Light. He liked the way Ryuk took care of him but that was supposed to be just in the bedroom, not everyday life. The occasional attempted mothering by his mother aside, Light was used to being very independent and doing most everything on his own—he couldn’t say he was too thrilled with Ryuk so meddling in his life, even if Ryuk’s treatment of him had, so far, been benign.

“…And why eighteen?”

“Because that’s how old you happen to be now. With the sort of risks you take you could’ve died tomorrow, you know, and I didn’t want to wait. Besides, you’re real fun this eager and hormonal. Don’t worry, pet. You know I can always keep you satisfied.”

“Well… at least I don’t have acne,” the now immortal teen laughed.

“Yes, let’s focus on the important things.” The Shinigami cackled as he again nuzzled against the boy in his arms. “Oh, Light-o… I have a gift for you,” Ryuk purred in his ear.

“Not just the ring?”

“Even better. Close your eyes.”

Light was naturally suspicious but Ryuk gave him no reason not to trust him and it wouldn’t make much sense for him to hurt him now... but he had thought that before and then Ryuk had bit him—even if it turned out that Ryuk’s biting him had been necessary—but that was just the thing, he didn’t know what Ryuk wanted and…

Light immediately chastised himself for being stupid.

Ryuk had been nothing but kind to him—even biting him had ultimately been an act of kindness—and yet he was still so suspicious of him?

I let him have sex with me for fuck’s sake but I don’t trust him out of my sight for like… five seconds? Yes, I don’t know what Ryuk wants but then there’s only one way to find out, now is there?

So in a rare display of trust Light closed his eyes; he did not flinch when Ryuk covered his eyes with one large hand or when the Shinigami picked him up and carried him across the room.

“You can open your eyes,” Ryuk told him once they were in front of the mirror.

At first the world seemed to have taken on a distinctive red tint before his vision cleared and he noticed something most peculiar—he could see his own name floating above his head in red kanji. Light immediately recognized the import of what had just happened.

“Ryuk—!” Light shouted, betrayed. No. He couldn't! He didn't! I never made the Deal!

“They’re on me, precious. No charge.” Ryuk assured him.

“Ryuk, I fucking love you!”

“I know,” Ryuk cackled softly as the boy covered his face with sloppy, eager kisses. The Shinigami then carried his eager lover to the bed where they remained until Light released more spirit energy.

“Ryuk?” Light queried as they lay together in the afterglow.

“Hmmm?” Came the Shinigami’s lazy reply as he idly trailed his claws over the boy’s stomach.

“There was a very important question I want to ask you.”

“Oh?”

“Your world or mine?”

***

L sighed as he listlessly poked at his cheesecake. Things just weren’t the same now that Light was gone.

L wasn’t about to admit it aloud but he kind of missed having his “first friend” around even though he was a serial killer—there was no doubt in L’s mind about that even if he was the only one to still retain that theory. Even Watari had chided him for “speaking ill of the dead.” That was the other reason L missed Light; without him he couldn’t bring the case to a satisfactory conclusion.

Personally L didn’t think Light was dead, partly because he found the evidence inconclusive and mostly because the Kira killings continued, though at a much slower pace than before. Another thing L found suspicious and what should’ve been a major clue even to the duller-witted police taskforce had they not been so, ha, blinded when it came to all things Light, was that Light had emptied his bank accounts before his disappearance. At first glance the paper trail made it appear as if he had donated his college tuition to charity but bank records show that the majority of the money had actually disappeared.

Light had then left them a fake trail to throw off the investigators, leading them to an abandoned building where the partial remains of a teenage boy was discovered, charred beyond all recognition. The taskforce believed it was Light but L knew otherwise. L suspected it was actually the body of one of many criminal delinquents that had gone missing since the rise of Kira. He had Wammy’s top team of forensic experts looking at that body with orders to report to him as soon as they found even a shred of uncorrupted DNA that they could use because unless L could prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the corpse in question was in fact not Light Yagami he could not reopen the official case against him.

L’s lab had an accident and all the evidence was destroyed under suspicious circumstances not a week later. How Light managed to find L’s lab would remain a mystery—he’d taken several precautions, telling no one outside of Watari and his hand-selected team. The only conclusion was that Light was somehow spying on him though that should have been impossible—L regularly swept his rooms for foreign listening devices so unless Kira had the power to turn invisible and walk through walls… or something like Shinigami actually existed, L really didn’t see how he could have possibly done it. Perhaps Ms. Amane could shed some light on the subject?

Most of the investigators seemed content to attribute all of Kira’s killings to the copycat L currently had in custody—the poor, delusional blonde model that seemed to be operating under the misconception that Kira’s power was the equivalent of a dating service. L thought she looked very nice tied up though. Not as nice as Light-kun, or course—Kira himself would’ve been the ultimate catch—but for now it seemed he’d just have to settle for the cheap knock offs.

Yes, L truly missed Light, even though his “friend” was the serial killing mass murderer whose execution he was seeking. He missed him because he wasn’t there to tease and torment, because without Light he couldn’t adequately solve the case, and mostly he missed Light because the teenager was pleasing to the eye and watching the boy sleep was one of the few things that made this sort of dull surveillance work tolerable. L’s favorite things about working the Kira case was that he could, at a whim, plaster cameras all over the pretty boy’s bedroom. But unfortunately he couldn’t continue his stalking, no investigation, what with his main suspect having disappeared like this.

What L missed the most, however, was matching wits with Light. Especially after being subjected to yet another round of his current suspect’s inane screeching. Well technically he was still matching wits with Light—Kira was still out there, L was sure of it. Really, his favorite suspect was just playing hard to get. L swore he’d get him in the end—he always got his man.

Though there was one thing about all this that L couldn’t adequately explain without contradicting his theories and everything he thought he knew about Kira—L didn’t understand how Kira, with his enormous ego, could stand to throw in the towel like this midgame.

Something must have drastically changed or…Could there be a grain of truth to the letter? The detective thought as he pulled out Light’s death note once again. It was even titled that and hand written on simple college-ruled notebook paper which had become dog-eared and limp between L’s fingertips for having been read over so many times:

L…

Dad…
If you’re reading this,
Don’t come looking for me.

You don’t understand what it’s like always having to constantly look
Over your shoulder. I tried to endure it but I couldn’t. Not on top of everything else.
Understand, please. I had to go. This life was slowly

Killing me.
Nobody understands I was always
On my own and
When Ryuuzaki

Showed up accusing me of being Kira my entire life I worked so hard for was shot to
Hell. Maybe L feared that one day I might pose a threat to him—you know how paranoid he is.
I tried so hard to be the perfect son but I can’t
Now. You can thank Ryuuzaki for that.
I’ll always have this suspicion of Kira on my record regardless of my innocence.
Get it out of your head—this stupid idea that I
Am Kira! But I suppose it doesn’t really matter now what I say,
My life is over anyway. I never told you because
I knew you wouldn’t approve, your bosses wouldn’t approve, but I can’t live this lie anymore. I’m gay.

Maybe that’s why Ryuuzaki suspected me? I’ve always hid it
And
Knowing Ryuuzaki he would not
Even seriously consider an alternate explanation because I am a

Genius and the son of the Chief of Police. He always wanted me to be Kira
Right from the start.
Enough. I’ve had enough of your mind games L
And I will
Take my own life before I permit you to further dishonor my

Family name.
Until we meet again you
Cold bastard. See you in the
Kingdom of the Dead,
Sincerest apologies—Yagami Light. Goodbye1212123129520

L found it to be a rather peculiar suicide note.

The detective casually held the note sideways and suddenly a familiar pattern began taking shape.

L DID YOU KNOW…

Really, Kira? Had he really left him a hidden message to taunt him just like before? In a note so closely, personally, associated with him? That was tantamount to a confession! Perhaps Light was counting on the Japanese police canonizing him upon his “death” and paying no mind to the words of the “neurotic consulting detective.” It seemed to be working. After Light’s “death” the Japanese police had actually tried to sue him, (HIM!), when the Kira killings continued. In the end they settled out of court— no charges would be filed against him but L would be funding their useless bureaucratic asses for the next two decades… and Matsuda got to keep his emergency call button belt so there wouldn’t be another incident like that time he got locked in the men’s room. The Chief, of course, wasn’t happy with the outcome of their settlement, blaming L for Light’s “death” just as Light had manipulated him to do, but then the decision wasn’t up to him. L was pretty sure that at the moment Chief Yagami would settle for nothing less than his head on a pike.

Dammit, if only I could prove that Light is still alive! L thought furiously as he decoded the rest of Kira’s taunt.

L DID YOU KNOW SHINIGAMI MAKE GREAT…

Upon decoding the rest of Kira’s message L choked on his tea.

“Are you alright, Ryuuzaki?”

“Everything’s fine, Watari!” L choked out after he managed to clear his airway. “Really, I’m fine,” L insisted when Watari started giving him that look again. His caretaker’s usual worried looks seemed to be growing more and more concerned. Alright, so L hadn’t exactly cleared off the candy wrappers from his desk in the last two weeks. That didn’t make him depressed, of all things! And certainly not over Light!

“Though I could really go for more of those gummy worms... and Oreos. Oreos would be good right now. And do we have any of that mint chocolate ice cream left or…?”

“You ate it all, sir… in one sitting.”

“Damn you, Kira!” L hissed aloud. It was all Light’s fault. If he’d just been within surveillance range L wouldn’t have felt the need to mope around, binging on mint ice cream as he re-watched the tapes of Light’s daily life for any clues to his current whereabouts.

“Ryuuzaki, do you truly believe … Kira made you eat your ice cream?” the old man asked, concern becoming heavier when L did not dignify that with a response. Watari thought that perhaps it was time to make a call to L’s private therapist for grief counseling.

L stabbed at the remains of his cheesecake in silent rage. It was infuriating! Light was obviously toying with him! Especially with sending him such a suggestive message…

The detective’s lips twitched in amusement.

If that’s the way you want to play it, Light… Kira, then so be it! There is nowhere on Earth you can hide from me! When I catch you, be ready to face the consequences! Really, how dare you, Light? I thought we were frie… enemies! When I find you, you will never go anywhere without my permission again!

Watari wordlessly cleaned up L’s cake plates and tried to retrieve that poor boy’s suicide note that really did belong in evidence but, upon sensing Watari’s intentions, L gripped hold of it most fiercely.

“You can go now, Watari.”

After it appeared he was alone once more L sighed, popped his back, and slowly shifted out of his customary crouch. He walked around the hotel room a few times, executing the occasional Capoeira spin-kick to keep in shape and to get his blood moving again before flopping down, bonelessly, onto the sofa in front of the TV.

The lonely detective found himself once again staring at the letter in his hand.

Where are you, Light Yagami?

L’s eyes once again trailed to the bottom of the note:

…Cold bastard. See you in the

Kingdom of the Dead...

The Kingdom of the Dead.

Shinigami.

Shinigami power.

"We’ll confirm our identities by showing our Shinigami to each other… "

L shot up in his seat.

Could that really have been literal?

No way, that’s impossible!

And that would mean I’d have to accept that Light is forever removed from my grasp!

Unacceptable. Completely unacceptable!

No Light, I won’t stop looking for you. You’ll make a mistake eventually and then I’ll have you.

L vowed as he glared angrily at the taunting letter. He must have been over it a thousand times and yet he was still finding new layers of mocking messages intricately woven within their passages. Bilingual taunts and genius puzzles that Light must have known would be missed by the taskforce investigators.

Another puzzling thing about the note was that series of numbers at the very end. While the rest of the note was written with a fountain pen the numbers were written in a red-brown hue that was speculated to be blood. The taskforce seemed to think they were very important after Aizawa’s buddies in the crime lab had confirmed it was indeed blood, and that it was Light Yagami’s.

Matsuda had suggested that the cryptic message was a phone number plus extension and tried calling it but 1 212 123 1295 ext. 20 just ended up being a sex line, the type that catered exclusively to heterosexual males. That ended L’s interest in Matsuda’s theory—he doubted the sex line had anything to do with Light or the case—the teenager had no apparent interest in sex or at least not in girls and didn’t even get excited when looking at porn! L merely filed the number away for future reference.

So L had initially written off the numbers as just another taunt from Kira that would have him wasting more time rather than scouring the globe for where he might have hidden himself. Not that the detective had had any luck yet on that front—for a brief, joyous moment L had thought he had a confirmed sighting of Light at an apple farm in Germany but that was beginning to look like a false alarm or at the very least, questionable since L had yet another unconfirmed sighting of Light in America buying farming supplies in a small town in Kansas on the very same day, just a few hours later. Both reports were equally credible but it should have been physically impossible for Light to have traveled to both locations in such a short period of time—unless of course this was yet another of Kira’s powers …

But really, what could Light possibly need farming supplies for anyway? The detective imagined Kira suddenly giving up on his crusade against criminals and quest for Godhood for a quiet life on a farm and snorted to himself. L would sooner eat vegetables, he was sure.

The odd detective sighed again as he vacantly stared at the paper in his hand, idly playing with various permutations of the numbers in his head and…

And the more he stared at the page, the more he became convinced that there was a subtle spacing between the numbers. Looking at it now, it didn’t read “1212123129520” but “12 12 1 23 12 9 5 20.” That made all the difference—and the detective’s dark eyes went as wide as dinner plates in realization.

No… it couldn’t be something as simple as a one to one alphanumeric code!

1 = A, 5 = E, 9 = I, 12 = L, 20 = T, 23 = W

“Goodbye 12 12 1 23 12 9 5 20”

12 12 1 23 12 9 5 20

L- L-A-W-L-I-E-T

“Goodbye, L Lawliet.”

This time L began choking without the aid of any tea. Luckily Watari was still lurking nearby so he was able to give him a harsh pat on the back in time. The elderly caretaker then went on to schedule his charge’s much-needed therapy because all this obsessing over a dead boy surely could not be healthy. Maybe he should hire a dietician as well. His ward could certainly stand to eat a vegetable or two.

Chapter Text

“We can’t hide out here forever, you know.” Ryuk observed as Light finished up with some routine maintenance on one of his irrigation machines.

“You know I wasn’t planning to,” the teen retorted as he dusted the grey dirt off one of his scruffier pairs of leather pants.

His father would probably have a heart attack if he saw the sort of outfits he was wearing now. Light had brought along some of his old wardrobe but he typically didn’t wear his old suits (three piece or track suits) anymore except for during their occasional excursions to the human world for supplies. Light wasn’t particularly attached to suits—it’s just he knew how to appear respectable in human society. Light knew that one’s choice of clothes could serve as effective camouflage, armor, and that they were often useful for making a statement. They reflected one’s profession and dressing well reflected well on himself and those associated with him. Light wanted to dress his best—both for himself and for his new husband but upon arriving in the Shinigami realm he had soon discovered that the reason why Ryuk and so many other Shinigami wore leather—it was because of the sandstorms. And while Shinigami could phase out when the storms hit the majority of Shinigami were too lazy, or got too into their card games, to bother most of the time and the sand still stung when they were corporeal. Light, being technically still a human (even if he thought of himself as a human God… and the majority of the Shinigami realm thought of him as a breeding factory) was incapable of phasing out when the sandstorms hit so he quickly adopted an all leather wardrobe. (That Ryuk always drooled over him in tight leather pants had absolutely nothing to do with it.) He never left home anymore without his goggles either—they were a gift from Ryuk after he survived his first sandstorm on the Shinigami world and of obvious Shinigami make, made of chains, metal, and bone with green emerald lenses –they might make him look like a dork but it was still preferable to getting sand in his eyes.

Light pushed his goggles back so that they further messed his sweaty hair and self-consciously smiled up at his husband; easily accepting his hand up. Light no doubt was a mess right now but Ryuk didn’t seem to mind. Hand in hand they made their way back to their new “apartment” which was, in actuality Ryuk’s cave on the side of the windswept mountain but furnished with what the inhabitants considered all the best trappings of the human world. Even though they were settling in well, Light had known he had his work cut out for him from the moment they first arrived. So far they had a bed, couch, a desk, a lap top, a couple of lamps, some chairs, some book cases with human world books on them, a fridge, a kitchenette, a TV, and an X-Box 360—just the bare necessities. They had yet to do anything about the floor other than giving it a thorough dusting. Light had initially thought about putting a carpet in their cave but not only would that be a lot of work that he’d probably end up doing but that just seemed kind of tacky. That and he found he didn’t mind the cold stone floor so much as long as he remembered to wear socks as he generally preferred to do. (Besides, bare feet kind of reminded him of a certain obnoxious someone who shall not be named from an over and done with chapter of his life.) Rugs would look nice in there though—maybe a pair of fake fur rugs with tiger stripes. One could go at the foot of the bed and the other by the hearth. He’d see about acquiring some the next time they visited the human world.

Light had entertained visions of a clean break and leaving his old life behind him but of course it couldn’t be that simple. He’d had to make several trips back to the human world for groceries and other supplies and he feared he was almost spotted on multiple occasions but he had to keep risking it if he wanted to make the Shinigami realm habitable; let alone bring about his visions of turning it into a paradise. His “farming project” was coming along well and Light hoped to one day have a completely self-sustaining ecosystem built in their backyard but until then they would have to continue to make their periodic trips back to the human world.

Light had made quite a bit of progress already in terraforming their “backyard,” the valley beyond the mountain Ryuk had claimed for them to shack up in, it was quiet, little known, and out of the way place… even for the Shinigami realm. It turned out most of the Shinigami hung around one spot all the time and didn’t do much in the way of exploring, finding much of the land to be exactly the same—just sand and more sand as far as the eye could see. Ryuk, however, had always been more curious than his counterparts and so knew about these mountains and the secluded valley beyond. The valley itself had once looked the same as anywhere else in the Shinigami realm—that is sand peppered with the occasional feature such as a viewing pool, pile of skulls, or pile of rusty gears and parts of some unknown ancient but obviously defunct machines. The valley’s one defining feature had been a small and struggling stand of native apple trees.

That was before Light happened to it.

The teenaged God looked down upon the junk piles that still marred the paradise he was building and wondered what sort of civilization the Shinigami once had—it must have once been far more advanced than its current state to have constructed such machines. Light figured that would be his next project—he’d look into the archeology of the Shinigami realm after he got his orchard up and running.

“Wow, I think you’ve found your true calling as an apple farmer,” Ryuk whistled appreciatively as the genius looked on proudly at the saplings of apple trees that he had planted that were already bearing fruit. They were just the beginnings of the self-sustaining apple orchard he envisioned creating out of the barren wasteland that was the Shinigami realm.

“Yes, the apples we brought up from Earth are crossbreeding surprisingly well with the native apple species.”

“I’m up for more crossbreeding,” Ryuk teased and Light thumped him playfully on the shoulder.

“So... does that mean you’re ready to meet the guys?” Ryuk ventured to speak of that unpleasant thing they had both been putting off.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” the teen answered honestly. “Just let me get changed.”

“Really, what’s the point in doing that?”

“I want to make a good impression for you,” Light snapped.

“I’m sure you’ll do that anyway. You know I seriously doubt they’ll care what you’re wearing.” Ryuk said honestly, thinking of the poker-playing Shinigami in their spikes, feathers, fur, leather, and strips of flesh. The only exception was Armonia Justin Beyondermason who was decked out all in gold and jewels but everyone secretly believed he was an overdressed prick.

“I don’t care about them, really it’s just. Well, I have it all planned out and—” here Light smirked diabolically, “Just wait until you see it! I'm sure you’ll thank me later,” he assured, giving Ryuk’s hand a gentle squeeze.

"You're sure?" Ryuk chuckled.

"Positive."

"Okay then."

As they ascended the rocky path, hand-in-hand, up towards their mountainous home they passed a series of spinning wind turbines. Ryuk had helped Light install them on the mountainside. They generated power for their apartment and the surrounding “farm land.” Ryuk warded them with some bit of ancient Shinigami magic that he knew about so they wouldn’t have to spend all their time cleaning them. Ryuk made use of some ancient artifacts made from what appeared to be tiny animal skulls and known as the Sleeping Skulls which, when magically bound to a person or object, protected them against the sandstorms. They had set a Sleeping Skull at the base of each of his wind turbines, burying them in the sand so they would not get stolen—Ryuk informed him that few Shinigami remembered what they were originally for these days and so often used them for currency in their gambling.

It was about this time that Ryuk confessed that the goggles he’d given him also contained a pair of sleeping skulls, the bones on either side of the lenses, and that there were also some sewn into the new leather belt he got him too. While Light was truly touched that Ryuk didn’t want him flayed alive by the sandstorms he was irritated that Ryuk had, once again, neglected to tell him anything. However Light magnanimously chose to forgive his husband when it became apparent that Ryuk really hadn’t meant to keep things from him—he just used them so often it truly did slip his mind. That and Ryuk kept looking at him with those sad puppy eyes all the while Light remained mad at him. How a Shinigami had managed to master that look, Light had no idea but it wasn’t fair—that was his look dammit!

The pair ducked into the entrance of the cavern, walking through the automated blast door they had had installed against the sandstorms after finding a piece of scrap metal of the right size and shape in one of the nearby ancient junk piles. It worked so well that it was almost as if it were designed for this very purpose. Shinigami and human continued their ascent up a stairway that was carved in the very rock of the mountain by unknown hands some eons past. At the top of the stairs the tunnel then widened out into a larger cavern which Ryuk and Light had turned into their apartment—they’d even made it sort of homey. Nailed above the entrance of their apartment hung a pair of old-fashioned farming scythes that Ryuk had begged Light into purchasing for him during their stopovers in the human world—at a small farming town in Kansas to be specific. It had amused Ryuk to no end to learn that humans seemed to think that all death gods carried such scythes. It amused him enough, apparently, to want them in their home as souvenirs or rather as “exotic human world décor.” Over the door itself hung a red silk Kichō divider with the kanji for moon on it and tacked to the floor was a novelty welcome mat that read “Go Away” in English—neither of the apartment’s inhabitants were in the mood for visitors at the moment and Light found it freeing that he didn’t have to constantly pretend politeness now that it was just him and Ryuk—not that solicitors were much of a problem here in the Shinigami realm and Ryuk had yet to tell any of his “friends” that he had returned.

That was the reason Light was getting ready now—they had yet to make their “big debut.”

That was because they both knew that Shinigami were bored, able to phase through walls, had no respect for personal boundaries, and were notorious voyeurs—once they learned that Ryuk had a Breeder they would never get any peace. But they both knew they couldn’t hide forever—sooner or later another Shinigami would find them and then everyone would know. It was nothing short of a miracle they’d managed to evade them this long. But while their discovery might be inevitable it was still possible to control how it came about.

They would do it tonight.

Light approached the center of their apartment where sat their large, sturdy bed, constructed from found pieces of scrap metal they’d collected from around the Shinigami realm. It was painted a brilliant shade of gold that matched the bright and audacious red and gold tones they had painted the cave walls. They made it themselves because Light was on a budget and Ryuk wasn’t about to fly up from Earth carrying a bed frame—navigating the portal network with a queen-sized mattress had been challenging enough. Light neatly made that bed each morning pulling up the homey and comforting apple-print quilt over a fresh pair of black silk sheets that felt positively sinful when under his naked flesh. Next to the bed sat the full-length mirror because the teen always got a perverse pleasure out of watching himself as Ryuk bounced him on his lap and Ryuk was all too-happy to oblige his narcissistic fantasies while hissing sweet and dirty nothings in his ear.

But Light wasn’t feeling too pleased with himself at the moment.

Ew! I look terrible.

His hair was a mess—that which wasn’t sweaty and plastered to his skull curled upwards in awkward cowlicks. And he was dirty and sweaty, and he’d somehow managed to get a bit of grey dirt streaked across the bridge of his nose and he needed to change his clothes and…

Black claws fell on his shoulders from behind and Light could feel Ryuk peering down at him from over the top of his head.

“Light-o... don’t worry so much—we’re going to meet my poker buddies not the Queen of freakin’ England.”

“I know. It’s just…”

“What?”

“I told you, I want to look good for you,” the teen mumbled and then blushed that lovely shade of apple red.

“Oh,” Ryuk’s bulbous eyes lit up in understanding. “Light, you always look good for me, love. Promise.”

Light chuckled lightly as he extricated himself from Ryuk’s claws. “I still need to get cleaned up though and if you want to do what I think you want to do now I’ll be too tired to do what we’re planning later.”

The monster visibly pouted and Light laughed again before turning his attention back to the mirror. Dammit, he was a mess—he had to get cleaned up.

Light set to work scrubbing the dirt off with a moist towel. He would have liked to take a long hot shower but he had to be very conscientious of his water usage. So far all his clean water for drinking or washing in had to be imported from Earth and every trip back there was a risk. He would’ve liked to have just lived off the land of his new home but there wasn’t much in the way of precipitation on the Shinigami world other than the occasional bloodrain—Light had studied the rain he had collected at length and confirmed that it, indeed, had all the properties of human blood. He set up his rain collectors for it anyway for, if nothing else the bloodrain might help to enrich the otherwise barren grounds. He was working on a filtration system to filter pure water out of the bloodrain but that would take time to set up and his other projects had taken precedence. Drinking it unfiltered was out of the question because Light didn’t fancy turning into a crazy cannibal. He was also concerned that, as he got older some might think he was a vampire or something because he didn’t age so the last thing he needed was to start acting like one. Likewise showering in it would be gross and defeat the whole purpose of a shower.

Light removed his dirty clothes and threw them in the hamper atop the dirty sheets that awaited their next trip to the human world even though his dirt-stained leather pants were an obvious lost-cause and he should probably just burn them. Because of the water issues their owning a washing machine was also out of the question. It would have been too difficult for Ryuk to carry one up here anyway and though Light was sure he could build one with the materials he had on hand it would, once again, take up too much water. Since Light didn’t want to spend eternity washing their sheets he ended up frequenting Laundromats in the human world but never the same one twice—he wasn’t about to let L get back onto his trail that way—that would be well and truly embarrassing.

Ryuk wasn’t sure how, but Light had somehow managed to manipulate the signal through the portals to the Shinigami realm so they even got Internet access up here. Light mainly used it to keep track of L’s movements. Ryuk found it useful as well. Sometimes, when his husband was doing that human recuperative thing where he spent four to eight hours a night unconscious, Ryuk would duel with some fanatic gamer guy calling himself “Goggles” on Halo Reach. Light, of course, knew about Ryuk’s online friend just as Ryuk knew about Light’s taunting postcards and e-mails to L—they both knew that Light could’ve just killed L now if he really wanted to, now that he had the detective’s name. But since the detective wasn’t such a threat to him now that he’d become a God he found that killing L was no longer so strictly necessary. Besides, Light found it amusing to watch the detective squirm. Light enjoyed playing with L and Ryuk enjoyed watching him play with L so L got to live… for now. Of course if L ever became a threat to him again Light could just kill him at his leisure.

Both human God and Shinigami were perfectly at ease about each others' hobbies. Just because they were married and living together didn’t mean they weren’t allowed to have other “friends.” Besides “Goggles” already had a boyfriend (some loud-mouthed chocoholic blond that Goggles frequently complained about in chat to “Applemonster666”) and even if Light entertained the occasional thought of L, which he did not, Light was sure they were just not compatible and would just end up killing each other in the end. In any case they both knew there was nothing to be jealous about. Ryuk had never had such an enthusiastic partner as Light and doubted he ever would again. He absolutely adored the boy, or at least as much as a Shinigami could, and Light well knew it. Just as Ryuk knew he had spoiled Light for anyone else. He would be the only one ever privy to those heated looks, those blushes, those sighs. Sometimes when helping Light with his little farming projects Ryuk got the sense that Light had him whipped but then again in their bedroom Light was all his.

While Light still kept an eye out for L’s movements he honestly hadn’t had much time to bother with the human world as of late—he’d been keeping quite busy. The teen had soon discovered he had undertaken a very ambitious project for himself—one akin to terraforming Mars alone (but for the occasional, reluctant help of a certain whining Shinigami)—but he wasn’t about to give up on his project half-way through. After all, some might have said his goal to become God had also been overly-ambitious but now, for all intents and purposes, he was one—even if it was not in quite the way he had envisioned. But it was okay, Light knew from the start that he had his work cut out for him and so far (after a couple of false starts) things were going well. And while the work was harsh and exhausting—Light honestly hadn’t had such a workout since his tennis days—but fortunately, the promise of apples was usually enough to get his lazy husband off the couch and actually helping out.

Light knew he was lucky to even have this opportunity—that the Shinigami realm would normally prove inhospitable to human habitation—but fortunately for him and his future plans as Ryuk’s bonded mate Light’s body had adapted well to his new home. Though Light could’ve sworn there was now a permanent red tint to his eyes, and that his eye teeth were longer than normal… oh, and his nails had formed the beginnings of claws on his fingers.

Light found his femme fatalons the most annoying—he wished he could either trim them or that they would grow out to form full claws because as it was he had femininely long nails that he couldn’t trim. He didn’t need this. He was feeling insecure enough about his masculinity upon learning he really did prefer to bottom… not to mention his being the mother of Ryuk’s many future children. Ryuk had tried to assure him that his being perpetually pregnant didn’t make him any less of a God, that there were many gender-bending trickster gods in human fairy tales—the Kitsune for example and Loki… Light supposed he should count his blessings—at least he wasn’t pregnant by a horse.

He still didn’t like his new nails though. The only thing that could possibly make them more girly would be if he painted them red… which Ryuk did to him one night after Light, worn out from a day of planting apple trees, had fallen asleep before they could have sex. Needless to say Ryuk didn’t get any the following night either.

When Light obliquely brought up the subject of his subtle physical changes Ryuk assured him he wasn’t a Shinigami or becoming one—his body was merely adapting to living in the Shinigami realm. Ryuk also seemed to think he was already done mutating and he wouldn’t change any further due to his prior exposure to a Shinigami and his overuse of the notebook.

Which meant that he was stuck with these stupid girl-nails for all eternity.

Ryuk, however, loved them. He also very much enjoyed painting them in various colors—much to Light’s ire. Ryuk knew it bothered Light. He tried not to—he really did! But he really just couldn’t help himself. Unlike Light, the Shinigami didn’t need to sleep and he would get bored while Light slept and… idle hands and all that. Every other night he would forget just how much Light hated it, or the temptation would prove too great and Light would wake up with his nails done—often in red, sometimes in black or silver, and one time, when Ryuk had been feeling especially vindictive, in pink glitter—just the one time because then Light hadn’t even talked to him for several days afterwards.

Then one morning Light awoke to Ryuk serving him his favorite breakfast in bed and he’d discovered that Ryuk’s nail art for that night professed the Shinigami’s love for him in perfect kanji. That was about the time Light accepted he would be waking up with Technicolor nails every morning. That was also the time when Ryuk’s exile to the couch finally ended… starting that very morning when the Shinigami went right to work releasing so much pent up spirit energy that they remained in bed for the rest of the day.

***

Once ready, Light made his way back outside where his husband was, no doubt, impatiently waiting for him. The teen rolled his eyes—not everyone could just phase the dirt away and if Ryuk had a problem with the way he handled his hygiene he should’ve married another Shinigami.

Chapter Text

Ryuk was indeed outside, but Light was surprised and concerned to find him arguing with another Shinigami. It was a good thing they had already been planning on tonight’s outing because, evidently, they had been discovered. The Shinigami Ryuk was speaking with looked like some mad scientist’s weird genetic experiment in crossing a cockroach, a cat, and a parrot, and that then someone had wrapped the resulting monstrosity in bandages like a mummy. Light believed his name was Sidoh given Ryuk’s previous description.

On Light’s request Ryuk had told him all he knew about the other denizens of the Shinigami realm beforehand—their appearances, likes, dislikes, and habits. Light wanted to be as prepared for their future meeting as possible. Though the teen figured that if these Shinigami were anything like Ryuk he had nothing to fear, it still seemed a bad idea to offend a God of Death. Furthermore, being a genius who was usually of social poise and grace he didn’t want to go out there and pull a Ryuuzaki or worse, a Matsuda, in front of Ryuk’s friends who apparently had nothing better to do than discuss their acquaintances various foibles and faux pas for centuries to come.

The Shinigami community was like the ultimate small town. Apparently the Shinigami realm had been in need of a Breeder for several centuries and they would all be quite eager to see him, that he should be “loved and cherished” even by the Shinigami that weren’t allowed to touch him. The Shinigami population was down to only thirteen left in existence now that another one of their number had bitten the dust. Word of Gelus’s death managed to reach Ryuk even in their relative seclusion. It was the talk of the “town” seeing as it was such a rare event for a Shinigami to die so suddenly.

Usually if a Shinigami were to die it was because they were a lazy ass who couldn’t even be bothered to write names in their Death Note, so either the result of idiocy or a slow suicide, but Gelus died of something else entirely. Light hadn’t even known it was possible for Shinigami to die and as a result began watching Ryuk like a hawk, insisting that Ryuk stay where he could see him. He also took to periodically pestering him about writing names in his notebook, fussing at him that he wasn’t “eating enough” and then would hand him a “menu” in the form of a printout of names and faces of petty criminals to judge.

Ryuk found it touching, really. Not to mention hilarious.

Light must have known on an intellectual level that if something could hurt the Shinigami that he, as a puny human, couldn’t hope to do anything about it. But that didn’t stop Light’s delusional attempts to “protect” him. Ryuk finally had enough when Light seemed to be considering not even letting him go outside anymore and decided it was time he sat the teen down and explain to him about the Shinigami facts of death.

And then he had to further explain that their being together hadn’t put him in any danger—that a Shinigami could only die from “love” under specific circumstances that were no longer applicable to him upon their bonding and that the laws forbidding a Shinigami getting together with a human did not apply to bonded mates who had the approval of the King.

“How do you know we have the approval of the King?”

“Because if the King judged you unworthy you would have died when I tried to bond you.”

Light had given him the silent treatment for the rest of the day.

Ryuk of course felt no guilt for taking what was rightfully his and he knew that Light was never in any danger from his bonding him—someone like Light could never be judged unworthy—he’d already displayed the ruthlessness, power over the human world, the cunning, the infamy... the evil necessary to be a Shinigami’s mate. However Ryuk knew his husband well-enough to know that telling Light all that would not make him any less upset because Kira could never be evil—at least not in Light’s mind.

So Ryuk flew off for a while, allowing his moody teenaged lover to cool off and “not-cry” without any further embarrassment. Even though Ryuk worried a bit about what remained of his husband’s sanity and what he might do alone he also respected Light enough to give him alone time when he needed it. And even if Light did end up doing something crazy or suicidal he couldn’t die without Ryuk’s permission anyway. Ryuk also wasn’t worried about Light leaving him. Light had made his choice—Ryuk knew the boy understood that. He’d even left his world for him. He wasn’t about to leave over a minor argument. Light couldn’t return to the human world anyway without Ryuk flying him there. He could leave their apartment and get lost in the Shinigami realm but Ryuk didn’t think Light would want to leave for that very reason. Also the proud boy had invested too much time and effort in his projects to just abandon things here.

The Shinigami returned later that evening with a pouch full of precious stones that would’ve been worth a fortune on Earth, more of those ancient artifacts Light liked to study, a white-washed explanation of why Light was never in any danger from their bonding to begin with, and an apology. The teen remained a bit bitchy for a while after that but Ryuk forgave him, reasoning that even though Light knew, intellectually, that he had made his choice it was still probably a rude awakening for the teen—he was probably just realizing just how co-dependent he’d become. That he needed the Shinigami on a physical, mental, and emotional level because if Ryuk didn’t take him regularly the spirit energy that remained from his past kills would eventually consume his mind. For someone who liked to think of himself as an independent “God of a New World” that would be particularly grating. Light couldn’t leave if things went bad.

So Ryuk set out to prove that things would not “go bad” between them. He made sure Light had his space when he wanted it… and to shower him with affection when he wanted it too, to be kind and patient when confronted with the teenage killer’s bouts of psychotic rage and moodiness. Eventually Ryuk’s patience paid off. Light forgave him in full, their earlier quarrel forgotten when he discovered that one of the artifacts Ryuk had gifted him was in fact some sort of ancient superweapon. Ryuk had no idea what it was but it must have been something really good—or rather powerful and devastating—given the boy’s response. Ryuk had been pleasantly surprised when the boy practically tackled him and got quite noisy in his show of appreciation afterwards.

***

“…The King said I have to get it back from you!” whined Sidoh, unknowingly cutting into both Ryuk and Light’s synchronized fantasies of what they would rather be doing.

“I told you, I don’t own it anymore,” Ryuk sneered back in a mocking imitation of Sidoh’s whines.

“But I have to get it back or I’m going to die!”

“Look, can’t you just ask the Old Man for another book?” Ryuk reasoned but Sidoh would have none of it.

“Yes, but he wants two apples from Earth… Two whole apples! And…”

The Shinigami’s escalating quarrel came to a screeching halt when a human’s boots scuffed against the gravel and both Shinigami whipped around and caught sight of Light in all his finery.

“Oh? Oh... Oh, hot damn. That’s your human?!” Sidoh sputtered while Ryuk was shocked speechless.

The Shinigami drooled at the sight of the teen in his tight black low-riding leather pants which he wore in concert with an open black leather vest—putting the slender boy’s chest, hips, and stomach on display. Ryuk noticed that Light was wearing that silver skull buckle belt he’d had gotten him for their one year anniversary but the article that drew the most attention was the black, leather choker, beautifully embroidered with Ryuk’s name in it in fine silver thread and adorned with a large ruby in the shape of an apple set just above his throat. Light had made it himself. He wanted to send a clear message that he belonged to Ryuk and no one else.

Ryuk froze as his human stopped right before him and the raven-haired Shinigami found himself staring down at the top of the boy’s head—even his perfect, feuillemorte locks were brushed and neat.

“Light-o…”

Light leaned up on the tips of his toes so that he could give his husband a chaste kiss on the cheek and Ryuk pulled him possessively into his arms.

“You never cease to amaze me, Light. How did I ever get so lucky?”

“I’m sure luck had nothing to do with it,” the teen insisted as he snuggled against Ryuk’s strong chest. “It was fate, I’m sure. You must have been chosen, just as I was. If there is a higher power then me, then I’m sure you were made just for me to be my chosen consort,” Light reasoned and Ryuk was touched by Light’s sweet insanity.

Ryuk chuckled and reached out to gently touch his husband’s face. “And they say romance is dead.”

It was about this time that the gawking Sidoh finally recovered himself. “You! You’re Ryuk’s human! That means you’re the one who has my notebook!”

“No.”

“But surely you own a notebook!”

“Yes. You see, that is now my notebook.”

“But… But you're just a human! You don't even need it! You have to... ”

Kira just shot the roach-like Shinigami a red-tinged glare and Sidoh quaked in fear.

What a scary human! Even though he was just a human. Even as he was held and petted by Ryuk... Ryuk's human remained absolutely terrifying.

“Did I hear correctly?" Light asked, so softly that Sidoh had to strain to hear. "That you just need to give the King some apples and he’ll give you another book?”

“Yes, but…”

Light gave an imperious motion of his hand and Ryuk reluctantly let him go. Both Shinigami watched with puzzled curiously as the human dug around in his pack—it was of Shinigami make and was small, easily concealed, and bigger on the inside. It was the sort of bag the Shinigami typically used to carry their notebooks when they went about in clothes without belts or pockets… or no clothes at all.

“Then here you go,” Light said to Sidoh as he withdrew something from his pack. The Shinigami watched as the human unwrapped a homey-looking red and white checkered cheesecloth from the top of the little wicker basket to reveal it full of shiny red apples. Ryuk gave a betrayed whimper as Light handed the basket over to Sidoh and the teen suppressed a sigh.

Sidoh gaped stupidly at the wicker basket full of apples, clicking his fanged beak in shock. “I—I only need two…”

“Then you can keep the rest for yourself for the trouble caused,” the human offered magnanimously.

Without further ado Sidoh gathered up the little wicker basket with one of his bony tendrils and flew away on creaking wings.

Meanwhile Ryuk continued to whimper most miserably.

“Quiet you.”

“But… apples….” The Shinigami whined.

“Ryuk, what are we growing in the backyard?”

“Oh. But you just happened to have that basket of them on hand? Those were mine, weren’t they?”

“Actually I had them prepared to give to your friends.”

“Oh,” the Shinigami tried, and failed, to hide his obvious disappointment. “That was actually a pretty good idea… but now we can’t since Sidoh has it.”

“Don’t worry, I had a spare prepared just in case you found them and ate them.”

“Hey! That’s not fair!”

“I know you too well, dear husband of mine,” Light said with a smirk upon seeing the scandalized look on the Shinigami’s face.

“I would never do that! It’s like you don’t trust me!”

“…And I have a third basket prepared just for you!” Light said sweetly.

As soon as Light removed that third basket from his physics-defying tote bag, Ryuk instantly changed his tune: “Oh, Light-o, you know me so well!”

“It was in case you found and ate that one too.”

The Shinigami pouted as the boy laughed and ruffled his shoulder feathers. Ryuk stared balefully at the baskets of apples.

"Wait... that means both of these are actually mine!"

Light rubbed his forehead against an oncoming migraine.

"I thought we agreed it would be good to give a fruit basket to your friends? You can have one of them, Ryuk, but the other is for your poker party."

"But... they're mine!" the monster whined childishly.

Light sighed again. "Besides, I also have an apple pie in the oven. It'll be ready by the time we finish dealing with these miserable fools. Would you like that?"

"But you were making it for me anyway, weren't you? So you're just trying to bargain with me with things that are already mine."

"What could I possibly repay you with then? You'll just say all the apples in the valley are yours?!"

"Yep! I knew you were smart, Light!" Ryuk laughed while ruffling his hair.

"Sex!" Light declared aloud and then blushed in mortification, certain that that had to be the most awkward transition in the history of two species.

"Like I said, you're just trying to bargain with me with things that are already mine."

"I'm not going to win this one, am I?"

"Nope!" the Shinigami declared cheerfully.

Light ran.

Ryuk caught the apple the boy had tossed at his face and gave a deep, throaty chuckle. The hunt was on.

Chapter Text

Light’s sure is in a playful mood tonight, Ryuk thought, eying his ever-young husband indulgently when he noticed the way he moved.

He’s already prepared himself. Well, no small wonder, really…. Light would want to be prepared… The corner of his thick purple lips stretched to form a wicked a curve. Light's boyish laughter abruptly turned into a shriek when Ryuk caught up to the fleeing teen and suddenly scooped him up again in his arms. Light gasped and shivered in anticipation as Ryuk cupped his ass.

"You know you can't run from me, precious?"

"Why would I ever want to?"

"Why indeed? You're such a gift, Light. I don't think you even realize.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm awesome. I know."

Light sucked in a breath as Ryuk licked the shell of his ear.

“You know, I’m so glad they’ll turn to dust if they try to steal you. It almost seems cruel to tease them like this.” Ryuk remarked oh-so-casually as he slowly teased his husband, giving his ass cheeks a gentle squeeze.

Light’s breathing became noticeably heavier but for the sake of a dignity he believed he still possessed and the fact he needed to keep his head together tonight he pretended to be unaffected.

“True, but it’s like you said, they’ll want to see it all anyway. We’ve already had… what? Twenty three close calls of being discovered by nosy Shinigami?” Light gasped out at the end as Ryuk’s pawing became more insistent.

“Hyuk, but who’s counting?” Ryuk chuckled as he slipped a hand down Light’s pants to rub a gentle talon right up against the boy’s buttcrack.

“Are you trying to make me cum in my pants before we even get there?” Light whined as Ryuk continued to touch him.

“Maybe.”

“Asshole!”

The Shinigami snickered. Ryuk laughed harder when the boy shot him an even more irritated look when he stopped playing with him in favor of selecting one of the nearly forgotten apples with his free hand.

“You did a really good job on these.” Ryuk proclaimed shortly after bright the red fruit disappeared into the Shinigami’s maw.

Ryuk’s praise had the teen absolutely glowing with pride as well it should—growing an apple orchard in the barren wastes of the Shinigami world had taken quite a bit of ingenuity and put all his skills to the test. Light had had to learn several new disciplines and contend with multiple failures. He’d brought up multiple varieties of apples from Earth and experimented crossbreeding them with the Shinigami apples. His crossbreeding experiments had been a careful balancing act to make the apples both adapted to survive in the harsh conditions of the Shinigami world and palatable enough to eat. After much trial and many errors he’d finally done it—the native Shinigami apples were dry and tasted like sand but Light’s hybrids tasted juicy and sweet.

“Thanks. But I still haven't figured out what to call them...”

“Juicy Yagamis?” Ryuk suggested.

The boy thumped the Shinigami on the shoulder, hard but, ultimately, ineffective. “You perv.”

“I know you like it.” Ryuk sniggered again as the teen pretended to be mad. “So… shall we?” The Shinigami asked as he spread his wings.

Light wasn’t too concerned about their outing—they had a plan. Definitely a cruder one than what he would usually come up with but this was a whole different game from the sort he used to play with L.

At a nod from Light, Ryuk took flight. The wind swept through Light’s hair as he clung to his Shinigami’s neck. Light thought he should be used to flying by now—after all, they’d done it many times before—but even after all this time it was still exhilarating and Ryuk’s grin widened when he noticed that Light’s cheeks had once again flushed that lovely shade of apple red from the excitement and the wind.

The teen gasped as Ryuk crested the mountains to reveal the expanse of the barren plains beyond his burgeoning paradise. It also served to remind the new God that he still had so much work to do. It was part of his reason why he’d agreed to do this—he could use more minions. Ryuk was a dear, but his work would be so much easier if he were to recruit more Shinigami to aid him in his projects. Also it wasn’t fair to Ryuk to make him do all the heavy lifting.

Light clung tighter to Ryuk’s strong back as the Shinigami lit down upon the rocks overlooking the eternal hangout for most of the Shinigami Realm. A good half dozen Shinigami lounged around a slab of rounded, flat stone that they used as a table; passing around piles of Sleeping Skulls which were used like poker chips in their eon long game of cards.

Incredibly ugly Shinigami. Light wrinkled up his nose at the sight of them. Well, most humans would find Shinigami ugly but this wasn’t cute-ugly like his dear, sweet Ryuk but like ugly-ugly—like, grotesque.

Light swallowed but forced his face to remain stoically neutral while the rotting corpses and nameless horrors continued their game; unmindful and uncaring of their human visitor or said visitor’s growing disgust. Naturally, as Ryuk’s Breeder, and since he was now living in the Shinigami’s own realm, Light could now see and hear all the Shinigami. Ryuk explained that such restrictions were kept in place to keep the majority of the humans ignorant of the existence of Shinigami and, as Ryuk had so tactfully put it, Light had had his cherry popped long ago. Kira supposed it was just as well—he was sure it would have been problematic at some point if he couldn’t see their neighbors—but then, seeing those grotesque beings and knowing what he would have to do now… he almost wished that he couldn’t.

“Hey guys, what’s up?” Ryuk waved to the other Shinigami and Light pinched the bridge of his nose—so much for a dramatic entrance.

One of the Shinigami regarded him curiously, her bejeweled dreadlocks falling into her rotting face.

Daril Ghiroza… I think. I’ll know for sure if she laughs. According to Ryuk her ridiculous laugh is her one defining feature…. You know, now that I think about it, that kind of sucks. Ryuk must have known her all this time and the most memorable thing about her is her silly laugh? How… ridiculous. I’d hate to be remembered that way.

“Eh? Who’s that then?” asked the Shinigami that might be Daril Ghiroza of the Goofy Laugh.

Seeing an opening to make his introduction, Light immediately took it.

“Hello I’m Light Yagami, sometimes known in the human world as Kira. I’m Ryuk’s human. It’s a pleasure to meet you all,” Light greeted them, turning on the charm and giving his name and secret identity to the Shinigami without fear. After all, it was pointless to get nervous about giving out such information when the Shinigami could see his name and they all knew of his exploits anyway. Also because of his bond with Ryuk he was safe, these Shinigami couldn’t kill him, they couldn’t even touch him—only Ryuk had that privilege.

After speaking, Light then affected a polite, deep bow for Ryuk’s friends because while Light regarded himself as superior to these brainless cretins he was well-aware that as Ryuk’s human breeding concubine he was regarded as being the lowest of the low in Shinigami society. Though it was chaffing to the self-styled God of the New World he didn’t want to get Ryuk in any trouble. They both needed to stay out of trouble until the day they were running this utter wreck of a realm.

“APPLES!”

Light realized he probably had the dubious privilege of being the first human to ever hear a chorus of Shinigami because while Light had been busy bowing and being polite, Ryuk had been retrieving the gift basket from Light’s pack and tossing the red fruits out to his pals in what would nominally be uncharacteristic generosity. Light couldn’t help but feel slightly miffed when the fruit basket they had brought along ultimately got more attention than he did even though he knew, rationally, that he should be relieved that he was not yet the recipient of their negative attention. But Light supposed that was the problem—he liked attention, even when it was negative. Looking back he realized that many of the stupid risks he took as Kira were just to get L’s, and his father’s, attention. Light would, naturally, never consider himself to be an attention whore but he recognized that perhaps he might have a bit of a problem.

Just then Light noticed how one Shinigami, Midora, the fat, spotted Shinigami that resembled Jabba the Hutt, stared at the fruit basket—misery etched on every roll of her froggy face—and Light worried that they’d, somehow, screwed up already.

“Er… you don’t like apples… uh, ma’am?”

Midora sighed. “I don’t need another addiction, human. If only you had bananas! It seems everyone wants apples! It’s so hard to get a good banana from the human world!”

“At least most of them know about bananas!” whined a tusked, insectoid-looking Shinigami—Calikarcha, “It seems most Shinigami haven’t even heard of blueberries!”

“What’s a blueberry?” another Shinigami somehow managed to ask as its mandibles mashed a mouthful of apple.

“Exactly,” the tusked Shinigami said with a sigh. “They’re so delicious and sweet! And cute! They look like cute little round blue pellets! But you can only get them in the human world and it’s so bright and awful down there!”

Light listened, calculating, and made a mental note to add “bananas” and “blueberries” to his list of future gardening projects—winning their aid and future loyalty would be as simple as that.

“Ah! So this is Ryuk’s human, eh?” chuckled a rotting corpse in an Indian headdress, Zellogi, “We’ve heard a lot about you,” the Shinigami said as he threw some cards down onto the table.

“All good, I hope?” The killer asked while unconsciously fluttering his eyelashes in a most “innocent” and charming way and the Shinigami crowed with amusement.

“Kira, you kill so many humans! Save some for the rest of us!”

Light was honestly taken aback by the accusation. He honestly hadn’t thought the Shinigami would have a problem with his killing given what they did for a living. But then again what he did, he didn’t really consider it killing.

They killed. He judged. Perhaps that was the difference between them. “Just the bad ones,” Light insisted as the Shinigami cackled again.

“Like I said, save some for the rest of us!”

“Pfff! There’s lots of humans in the human world,” assured another rotting thing.

“That’s why it’s called the human world, genius.”

“I was just surprised, that’s all. This one human responsible for all those humans dying…”

“Hey Ryuk, you in?”

“Naw. I just thought I’d stop by and say hi,” Ryuk insisted with cool and casual aloofness.

“And show off your new pet, am I right?”

“Naturally,” Ryuk said flatly but his usual toothy grin was flashing with mirth.

“But who’s the pet, really? Last I heard, you were Kira’s pet.”

Light folded his arms across his chest. “I really don’t see how that’s any of your business.”

“Ryuk, control your pet!” snapped another Shinigami who was irritable after losing his hand at cards.

“Sorry,” Ryuk chuckled as he leaned over and traced a gentle claw beneath the boy’s weak spot under his chin, causing his whole body to relax—even after all this time Ryuk could still make him go so weak at the knees. “As you can see, I got to him when he’s young and feisty.” The dark-haired Shinigami grinned as he stroked the boy again. Light mewled softly, clinging to Ryuk for support, doing his best to ignore the absolutely evil laughter of the surrounding Shinigami.

“So this is the mighty Kira all the humans are afraid of, eh Ryuk? It looks like you’ve got him tamed.”

Light regarded the latest Shinigami to insult him out of a red-tinted eye.

Carapace, webbed feet, thick lips, bandages… Deridovely.

Damn, the way they’re talking... I haven’t gone soft or something! There’s just fewer murderer and rapists around these days for me to punish… thanks to me. And I have better things to do then be the garbage collector for petty criminals. That’s what the police are for! The human world is now entering a new age of peace as more and more people began to openly worship Kira and it’s all thanks to me! I’ve made a New World, dammit, I’m allowed to have my peace too! The human world is doing fine now so I can focus on making improvements here. I’m thinking banana trees would look good on the South end and blueberries bushes in the North-East corner…

“Looks can be deceiving. He is actually quit wild… in the sack.” Ryuk imparted to a chorus of raucous laughter.

“What about you Kira? You in? Or do you need Ryuk’s permission,” taunted Deridovely.

“No thanks. I don’t really like gambling.”

“Really? I heard otherwise.”

“Well you know what they say, ‘the card beat all the players.’”

“Wow, that’s pretty deep… for a human,” remarked Daril Ghiroza as she threw another card onto the pile.

“Scared?” Sneered another Shinigami.

“No, I’m tired of games and, no offense, but you wouldn’t be a challenge for me anyway.”

Deridovely almost overturned the table, his bony carapace creaking, as he leapt up from his seat, apparently choosing to take offense to the boy’s flippant attitude.

“Prove it! Ryuk, make him prove it!”

The teen gave a put upon sigh. “If I must.”

So Kira played a couple of rounds with the Gods of Death.

Deridovely’s pile of Sleeping Skulls gradually became Light’s pile of Sleeping Skulls.

“You’re a Breeder! A Breeder shouldn’t play cards!” Deridovely shouted when he lost.

“Dude, you made him play. You can’t have it both ways,” remarked the antelope-headed Gukku.

“Well as a Breeder he can’t take my winnings!”

Light shrugged. He didn’t want them anyway. He hadn’t even wanted to play.

“You asked me to make him play,” Ryuk rumbled, his eyes gleaming a fierce red, “Therefore these are my winnings.Thank you very much,” the pale, dark-haired Shinigami laughed as he hooked the Sleeping Skulls to his belt chain. Light couldn’t contain his wistful sigh. He found Ryuk’s monstrous and dominant display to just be so incredibly sexy.

“Well then… He’s wearing too much clothing! He’s your breeding concubine, is he not? Make him take it off!”

Light was soon met with demands that he “Take it off!”

The brunet looked to his husband for confirmation, making sure to throw in looks and gestures to suggest to their audience that he was uncertain and slightly scared when in reality they both knew that it had all been leading to this.

“Yes, take it off, Light.” Ryuk said with a knowing edge to his grin. Light couldn’t help but gasp slightly when his Shinigami’s eyes; glinting that lusty shade of red, bore right into his. No matter how many times he’d seen it before that look always sent his heart racing.

What he was about to do—it was a testament to his feelings for his Shinigami. Light loved Ryuk so very much.

“As you wish, dear heart,” the teen smiled and chuckled softly as he removed his jacket and popped the fly of his leather pants to the hushed gasps of some of those present. The teen then slowly, teasingly slid the leather down his legs, until he stood, nude before the assembled crowd. The boy then looked up at the Shinigami, and Ryuk in particular, most coyly from beneath the fringe of his russet bangs.

“Ooh! So cute!”

“Ah! He’s so polite! How did you train your pet so well, Ryuk?”

“Yeah, he’s more polite than you!”

“How did I train him?” Hmmm…” Ryuk pretended to look thoughtful. “Through an elaborate system of reward and punishment.”

“Oh…”

Ryuk snickered while Light tried not to make it obvious he was sulking.

The teen gave a surprised and indignant yelp when Ryuk pulled him onto his lap. “But honestly, I had little to do with his behavior. He mostly came self-trained,” Ryuk chuckled and Light smirked a little at the praise. “Good thing too, seeing as he likes it when I punish him.”

Light couldn’t help but whine again as Ryuk once again sunk his fangs into his shoulder and flushed with embarrassment as the Shinigami laughed and teased him for it—finding such a reaction to be most green. Apparently these Shinigami knew of Breeders from ages past who were regularly chewed on by their lovers with nary a whimper.

They must have been insane! thought Light. And I’ll cry out if I want to—it fucking hurts!

Light’s shoulder wound always healed almost instantly but the scar pattern of Ryuk’s teeth was becoming more distinctive every time—a brand in his flesh of Ryuk’s permanent ownership. It really shouldn’t have surprised him that Ryuk was doing it again now in front of the other Shinigami. Though Ryuk was always careful with him, Light was never too fond about the idea of being bitten—despite the ways his body might react and even that was suspect. Light was sure that Ryuk had been subtly conditioning him to like it—not that such a revelation would ever deter him from warming his husband’s bed. He loved nothing more than being taken by Ryuk—even if the monster did take it out of him.

“What a nice, tight little body! I bet that feels nice to stick your dick in,” Deridovely leered.

A bead of sweat trailed down the Light’s temple but otherwise he ignored the creature’s crude commentary. The teen wasn’t even sure how he could perceive him to make such an observation seeing as Deridovely had no visible eyes.

“Yes, he is. He’s very nice. And he’s all mine.”

“…Oooh. He told you, Deridovely!” came the silliest sounding laugh that Light had ever heard in either world.

That must be Daril Ghiroza Ryuk said she had a goofy laugh, and boy, he wasn’t kidding! Light thought as he began to perform an impromptu lap dance for Ryuk while his husband continued to talk over him with his poker buddies. Light gave a pleasured shiver at the sudden feel of Ryuk's rough hands on his bare hips.

“Oho! Little fox! If that’s how you want to play it—I’ll just have to punish you.” Ryuk cackled.

The other Shinigami startled as Ryuk suddenly scattered their cards and took his human right there over the table. The Shinigami were too busy laughing and jeering so they missed Ryuk and Light’s little exchange of smirks as Ryuk pushed into Light’s wet, pre-stretched out hole—Light had, of course, come prepared for this—this was all part of the plan.

They were going to be so obnoxious, overt, and shameless in their displays of affection that Ryuk having a human breeder would quickly lose its novelty and the denizens of the Shinigami realm would eventually grow bored with their antics and leave them alone.

Light panted heavily as Ryuk pounded him into the card table, doing his best to ignore their awful, mood-killingly grotesque audience and focused solely on Ryuk.

Unfortunately Ryuk finished far faster than usual, coming hard inside of him before Light was even close to finished. Light shut his eyes and pretended the jeering faces of the other Shinigami didn’t exist. His stomach churned with humiliation as he felt Ryuk’s ejaculate leaking out of him and onto the tabletop.

They’d do this to us anyway. I just have to take this. For the plan. All part of the plan.

As Ryuk zipped himself up, one of the other Shinigami forgot himself and tried to touch “Ryuk’s whore” where he lay squirming with unspent arousal on the poker table.

The offending Shinigami promptly crumbled to dust.

Light felt sullied by even that brief, skeletal touch but both he and Ryuk agreed that it was good that it happened now rather than waiting around until resentment build up and they tried something against them. The death of Light’s attempted assailant would serve as a warning to others. Perhaps with the death of Deridoevely they wouldn’t have to do that again for a while which was good because while Light like attention he decided he most definitely didn’t like that kind.

Meanwhile Ryuk used the death of their compatriot as an excuse to leave. The dark-haired Shinigami lifted his lover off the card table, clutching him tightly to his chest and Light relaxed easily in his husband’s arms.

Light didn’t blame his Shinigami for his recent rougher treatment—how could he blame Ryuk for his own plan and when he suggested it in the first place?

Still, Light was visibly relieved when Ryuk spread his wings and carried him home.

As “interesting” of an experience as it was to perform for a crowd they both decided that they much preferred to enjoy themselves alone.

Ryuk gave Light just what he needed.

***

And they lived happily ever after except for L who was confused.