Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

2 years ago...
Aziraphale studied the book in his hands as thoroughly as was possible. He rolled every sentence around in his head, looked up words, made notes, and studied like a committed student heading for his finals. He sat back and compared his notes to one of the books in particular.
"Angel, it's nearly time for bed." Crowley lounged on the doorframe, "I put the twins down already, and I have cocoa on the hob..." The demon stared at the book in the angel's hands, "No, Angel."
"Hm?"
"No. Don't get pining for more, we can't, remember, not unless you go begging for your heat again. And probably not even then, given Gabriel's attitude."
Aziraphale glanced up. Crowley continued, "And even if we could - you suffered like hell for the girls and 3 years old isn't old enough for them to lose you if it- if it..."
Aziraphale smiled faintly, "I can control the heat, Dear."
Crowley frowned, "What?"
"That's what she did to me. When she protected me."
Crowley moved to sit in a seat beside him, "H-how long have you known, Aziraphale? Were you going to tell me?"
"Since 5.30 this afternoon." Aziraphale reassured him, "She... she spoke to me in the garden. And of course I was, Crowley. I wanted to be sure I thought I could handle it again first."
"...And?"
"I would want a few more years with the girls first." Aziraphale confirmed, "Having 2 in one go was sometimes a little much, and I would like the girls to be older before we consider trying again. But of course I was going to speak to you, my dear." He patted Crowley's hand, "We're in this together, remember?"
Crowley was still staring at him, "Do you... want more?" he asked tentatively.
"Well, I wouldn't say no." Aziraphale replied brightly, "But... she suggested we should... maybe have more."
"Oh well that's all 'tickety boo' then isn't it?!" Crowley snapped, "Change our wings and mess with our base forms, go poking around as we were exploring our feelings for each other like a puppet master proclaiming 'now kiss!', hovering around our family like we're a new shiny experiment, well we're not, you hear me?!" His fist lead his body and eyeline to rise, threatening the ceiling, "We're not toys to be taken out and played with until you get bored!"
"Crowley, please." Aziraphale soothed, "You'll wake the girls. And anybody would think you weren't happy with our family."
Crowley quieted a bit at the idea of waking the twins, "Angel, I love what we have, me and you and the girls, three chickens and the occasional local runaway goat, but just because something's part of the plan doesn't make it gospel here on Earth." He clenched his fists and sat back down beside him, "We're not puppets Aziraphale. We were given our free will in the beginning, and I fell when I used it... She said she was young then, has she learned nothing?"
"Crowley." Aziraphale soothed, "She loves you - she told me. But she didn't tell me we had to have more. She said it was for us to decide. Together. Not her."
Crowley bit his lip, watching Aziraphale's face as he explained. There was a pause before he asked, "You... want to do this, don't you Angel?"
Aziraphale beamed, "Should you want to, Crowley, I would like nothing more." He paused, "But I won't say I'm not worried. And I won't say my life would be incomplete without another baby. Because my life has enough meaning with you and the girls." He patted Crowley's hand and closed the book, "We can discuss it when the time is right. I'll pack up here. You should probably check on the cocoa before it overboils."

****

Present day...

Aziraphale shut the door of the Bentley and fastened his seatbelt, turning in his seat to wave as the car pulled off the drive. The twins and their babysitter waved them off.
"I told Warlock about the eggs, dear." He said at length, "Today's have gone, I checked the box while you were reminiscing about digging up my flowerbeds that once."
"Don't expect too much of him Angel." Crowley chuckled, "He's a teenage boy, much as I don't think he minds smelling like a henhouse I doubt he can get up in time to box the extras and put them out."
"The girls will see to it that he does." Aziraphale replied, his eyes twinkling, "He does very well with them for an only child, don't you think?"
"S'pose cos we're like family." Crowley replied, "More than the one he has anyway."
Aziraphale glanced over to Crowley. In the afternoon sun he noticed the lack of seatbelt on the demon, "Crowley!"
"What?"
"Your seatbelt dear."
"Oh. Oh yeah. Sorry Angel, forgot. Old habits." He strapped himself in, taking both hands from the wheel to do so. Aziraphale rolled his eyes.
The seatbelts had appeared without explanation around the same time the twins were born. Aziraphale had, of course, assumed Crowley had miracled them in - along with the two car seats that somehow fitted in the back - but when he had made a comment about his demon's thoughtfulness, Crowley had merely stared at him.
"What?"
"These... belt things on the seats, dear?
"The WHAT?!"
Aziraphale still smiled now remembering the scream, "WHO'S BEEN MESSING WITH MY CAAAAR?!"
Of course, that question had remained unanswered, but Aziraphale, who hadn't even been marginally aware of the concept of seatbelts having only really ever ridden buses, trains and the Bentley, had immediately fallen in love with the idea. And Crowley had, begrudgingly now they had the twins, agreed to keep them.
"I did wonder how the children's seats were held in place."
"I was almost hoping to fit them in the footwell."
"The footwell?! Crowley I didn't give birth to these two just for you to put them in the footwell!"
"In the car seats, Angel." Crowley had rolled his eyes, "I wasn't just going to chuck them in."
"What are you smirking about, Angel?" Crowley asked, breaking into Aziraphale's thoughts.
"Just thinking... We've just left a teenager we raised terribly in charge of our two 4 year old mild magic using daughters, with chocolate cake in the fridge and a tent set up in the back garden. With the chickens."
"He's got his mother in the village if he needs help." Crowley replied, "Her separating from that dick of a husband was the best thing she ever did for them."
"I did wonder if you had got quite fond of her." Aziraphale replied, "It seemed as though she needed a confidant."
Crowley snorted, "Fond? Me? If I were still a card carrying demon I would be counting down the days until that separation becomes a divorce, Angel. Chalk one more up for the pits of hell against the sanctity of marriage."
"Oh really, Crowley, that old chestnut?" Aziraphale snorted, "The Lord let an Angel and a Demon reproduce - out of wedlock I might add - I scarcely think she cares that much about sanctity of marriage anymore."
Crowley raised an eyebrow, "Is that so, Angel? What's the church's line on this?"
"As if the church has the first idea, Crowley. They're still hating on the LGBT+ community and women priests."
"Rebellious Angel..."
"They still depict God as a man and Jesus as white!"
Crowley chuckled, "I didn't realise you were feeling quite so irritable tonight. Should we put our planned conversation on hold? Are you hangry maybe?"
"Dear, you know quite well we don't-"
The demon grinned, "Or we could have this conversation now and get absolutely sloshed over dinner."
"Oh." Aziraphale blinked.
"No?"
"No, it's just... thought I'd have more time to think..."
"You've had 2 years Angel, you're not going to pull anything new out of the air."
Aziraphale beamed and raised his hand to reveal a 50 pence coin. Crowley glanced across at him, then snatched it away irritably before he could do any more 'magic', returning his eyes to the road.
"Well?" Aziraphale gazed at the demon expectantly. Crowley glanced to him, "Well what?"
"You start."
Crowley rolled his eyes, hissing. His serpentine tongue flicked irritably.
"Not so easy, is it?" Aziraphale chuckled.
"Not without being Nicsssse."
Aziraphale studied him in silence for a moment, before opening his mouth impatiently to start. Before he could, Crowley reached to turn the radio on. The familiar, thumping beat of Radio Gaga filled the car. Crowley's hands opened and closed on the steering wheels, one at a time. He seemed to be chewing the inside of his mouth as he considered speaking.
"It's really your decision, Angel." He eventually managed, "You're the one doing the hard work."
"But we agreed we would choose together this time." Aziraphale replied softly, "So it wasn't like last time."
Crowley found it so irritating. He was a demon - or he used to be, anyway - he still answered to Hell but they had little to nothing to do with him now, some of the lower demons even going into panic mode when they caught his 'corrupted' aura. He used to be the tempter, the sneak, adept at making his mind up on the fly and leaving the repercussions until later. But this decision had kept him thinking for the 2 years since Aziraphale had told him they could have more than what they already had.
"Damnit Angel, I don't know, okay?"
"If you're not sure Crowley, there's no point to having the conversation."
"Except there is." Crowley replied, pulling into a convenient field entrance and putting the handbrake on, turning to his partner, "Because you want more, and I want you to be happy."
"But Crowley-"
"I'm a tempter, Angel. I never really had my own desires before we had our own side. Except for you."
Aziraphale reached to touch his arm gently, "Sleep? Drink?"
"Those weren't desires, Angel." He snorted, "Those were ways to pass the time or cope with life. Not like when we drink together, or-"
"I suppose." Aziraphale managed thoughtfully, "Perhaps the question I ought to ask of you is, would it change anything if we had another child?"
"Yeah." Crowley replied, "I'd have to figure out how to fit a third car seat." He chuckled at Aziraphale's cross expression, "Oh alright - I'd get to enjoy your daft, sappy face every time you picked them up again. Or all that sickening love you exude."
"You'd get to tell them stories and sing all those awful nursery rhymes with them too." Aziraphale reminded him, "Teach them planting..."
"Get shouted at by you for teaching them to scream at plants..."
Aziraphale blushed slightly, and looked away.
"So how many?" Crowley asked.
"Excuse me?"
"What's our limit? How many kids is a family? Given we'll have to extend over the garage to fit them in and we should probably do it 'believably' given the amount of humans that visit us."
"Surely only Harriet would question-?"
Crowley raised an eyebrow at the angel. Aziraphale bit his lip, "I had a - a number in mind. For the moment. We could wait millennia after that if we wanted, I just liked the idea of, ah..." He smiled, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment, "Two more."
"I think we can accommodate that, Angel." Crowley replied. Aziraphale glanced up to his partner, and saw the little smile on his face. He was still unsure, but at least he was being positive about it.
"Do you really think so?" The angel beamed. Crowley chuckled, "Yeah, why not. We've got 4 hands between us, that's enough to keep hold of 4 of the little bastards. Never have more kids than you have hands."
Aziraphale clasped his hands together delightedly, "Oh, Crowley! I can't wait!"
"Just one thing, Angel." Crowley added as he pulled the Bentley back onto the road.
"Oh?"
"No more balloon animals at their parties."

Chapter Text

Laughter broke the air. Getting out to the Ritz with the freedoms they had these days was always an emotional event - memories of the notapocalypse, of care and love unanswered for millennia, and the dizzying high of being able to finally enjoy it fearlessly, holding hands, toasting everything and getting steadily more tipsy until they had to leave and pick up more alcohol. The stagger along the street had lead them past a window advertising 'bottomless drinks'.
Crowley was inspired, and reached into his jacket to reveal their 2 champagne flutes, now refilled.
"Cheers." He grinned, handing one to the angel.
"Did you steal these from the Ritz?" Aziraphale objected.
"No. No no no no. No. See, we haaaven't finished our drinks, can't hand 'em in till they're empty - would be a waste!"
Arm in arm they staggered towards St. James' park 'for old time's sake' despite the fact it was after dark.
"The ducks will be asleep!" Aziraphale giggled as they made it to the familiar park bench.
"Not with the noise we're making." Chuckled Crowley, "Besides, the air will do us some good."
"Good for what, exactly?" Aziraphale asked.
"Your addiction to making babies." Crowley chuckled.
"We're not going to-" Aziraphale was scandalised.
"I think that would take more miracles than I'm willing to try, getting that ignored." Crowley replied, "Plus, that bastard over there is watching us."
Aziraphale turned to see the dark eyes of a swan peering across the grass at them. He made an exaggerated shooing motion, "Don't you have manners, dear?"
"Nope. Not as demonic as Geese, but still not letting anybody get away with a shag in the park."
"Apart from the ducks."
Crowley patted the bench next to him, "C'mere Angel."
Aziraphale hurried to his partner's side to huddle close, "Not for too long, dear. Don't want you getting cold."
"I'm sure you can solve that." Crowley replied, throwing an arm around the angel, "With all that love."
His partner nuzzled happily at his shoulder. At length he murmured, "I'm having a lovely night, Crowley."
"It is nice not to have the kids around all the time." The demon replied. Aziraphale blinked, "I-I know..."
Crowley glanced down at him, "That's not a criticism Angel. We still have babysitters."
Aziraphale peered up at the demon, his eyes bright in the moonlight, "Does-does that mean?"
Crowley winked, "Let's go back to the hotel."
Aziraphale beamed.

****

The hotel wasn't far, and their champagne was still perfectly chilled. After a drink, the pair sat back on the bed, Aziraphale moving to hold Crowley tenderly and kiss at his neck. Then their lips met, and the angel started to remove the demon's jacket, when Crowley pulled away sharply and held Aziraphale steady. The angel frowned, his voice trembling, "Second thoughts?"
"No, wouldn't do that to you." Crowley replied, "It's just - ngk -"
"Hm?" Aziraphale tilted his head, "Crowley, just what?"
"Just one thing." He let his hand travel to the Angel's hip, "I'm not having you go through that hellish labour again."
Aziraphale's eyes widened. Oh, so he had been thinking of him!
"If we're going to do this, you need to make it safer for you." Crowley finished, "Neither me nor the girls want to lose you." Aziraphale smiled, his eyes bright, and leaned to kiss Crowley, clicking his fingers, "Did you mean possibly... like this?"
The demon ran his eyes down the angel's new, now bare form, which in terms of body shapes was somewhere in the region of 'pear shaped' - a soft and shapely middle with cute, chunky hips. He met his partners eye appreciatively, brushing a strand of wavy blonde hair out of his face, "...Got it in one."
"Wonder if I can make these function too." The angel pondered absently as he held gently onto his new breasts, "That's something I must remember to try."
"Damnit angel." Crowley chuckled, "I'm overdressed, get down here and finish what you've started."
Aziraphale's shoulders wiggled happily with a giggle before he moved to push the demon to the bed with a kiss.

****

There was a knock at the door.
Crowley stretched, clicked his fingers, and the room service employee went on their way, tipped and with the morning tea and coffee he had ordered sitting on the appropriate side table, beside the glasses that miraculously were still full. He leaned over Aziraphale gently, "Morning Angel."
"Mmm. Morning." The angel mumbled, "Oh."
"You alright?" Crowley asked, turning to get his coffee.
"Yes, I suppose." the angel replied, a hand idly rubbing his middle, making himself aware of the empty feeling that remained, "I knew it would probably take a few goes before it all... came together."
"Never mind." the demon replied, "Just means we get to try again, that's all."
Aziraphale sat up, "If you don't mind I might change back for now."
"If I can't tempt you to another go." Crowley chuckled.
"Mmmm..." Aziraphale hummed, and picked up his cup of tea, "You said something about breakfast and visiting the shop? I think I would like to swap back for that, maybe. I don't fancy lying in bed a few hours first waiting to see if our efforts... met up and bore fruit."
"Then don't." Crowley grinned, "A walk might help. Get everything shook up together."
"Crowley, that's not how it works."
"Not how it works for humans, sure - who knows with us?"

****

Aziraphale nervously pulled at his cardigan as they approached his old bookshop.
"You look lovely." Crowley assured him, "Just stop playing with your sleeves, you'll unravel them."
"I still say this won't work you know, Dear." The angel said, distracted, eyes still locked on the shop.
"You're the one who hasn't changed back yet."
Aziraphale huffed, changing the subject, "You never told me who you rented it to?"
"Somebody after your own heart." Crowley chuckled, opening the door with a flourish, "After you, Dear."
Aziraphale gave him an unimpressed look before he stepped inside.
Crowley glanced to the angel as he followed him in. He was looking around him, a little distressed by the changes. Without the bookshelves the place was much lighter and more open, although the lighter staining on the wood also helped. Instead of bookcases, a seating area was broken up with plants and trellises. It looked a lot like a roof terrace garden that had been kitted out for a student party, moreso with the many different rainbow flags that had been artistically hung and twisted down from the ceiling to the upper level balcony.
"Find a seat, Angel. I'll get you a drink." Crowley smiled. Aziraphale glanced to him, pointing at one of the walls, "What - what is that abomination?"
"It's bookcase wallpaper."
"What-What is the point of-"
"You'll see. Go and sit down somewhere."
Aziraphale had chosen a cosy corner, the one where Crowley had used to like dozing. The morning sun warmed the soft chairs tucked away here, and the table was of an appropriate height for the seating. He removed his cardigan, looking around. Now the shock was over, he couldn't help but feel a little sad.
Crowley returned a few minutes later with their drinks, "I ordered breakfast while I was at it, a surprise, I hope you like it."
"I should never have let you let people redecorate." sighed Aziraphale.
Crowley smirked, "Are you still complaining about the view? How about you miracle it back and see what happens."
"Oh no, Crowley. That would be quite wrong."
Crowley chuckled, "Then stop complaining, Angel." He stretched out in the beam of sunlight, "Nice of you to pick my favourite spot."
Aziraphale blushed, "Well, given our activity this morning, I felt it appropriate."
"Angel, we never had sex on the shop floor. Only because you wouldn't have let me, though. We did have it on the kitchen floor."
"No, no." Aziraphale replied, "With the girls, this was where you were when I realised you were... alright with it."
"Oh?"
"When I saw you with the book of baby names." The angel flicked his gaze up from his tea to meet Crowley's eyes.
"Oh." Crowley smiled genuinely.
"...Honestly though Crowley, I wasn't sure what to expect but I'm not sure it was a good idea my coming back here. I spent a long time with this shop and-' He paused as the waitress appeared, putting two plates down, "Enjoy your food, loves."
"Thank you." Aziraphale replied automatically.
"Wait 'till you see upstairs." Crowley chuckled.
"I'm not sure I could take whatever they've done upstairs." Aziraphale snarked, taking a bite out of his crepe. He paused, fighting a suddenly pleased expression, "At least their food is quite acceptable."
"Wouldn't rent your shop out to just any old coffee and dessert shop Angel. Give me some credit." Crowley sliced a piece from his own crepe, offering it to the Angel, who gratefully accepted, "Mm!"
"So now you know their sweet and savoury are good. Are we coming back next time?"
"Mm." The angel replied, digging his fork into a strawberry that had escaped his first mouthful, "Depends what's upstairs."
When the food was finished and suitably settled, Crowley took the angels arm, "Come with me."
"Crowley, in all the years I lived here, you've never been so interested in getting me upstairs."
"That's a terrible lie, Angel." Crowley swigged the dregs of his coffee, "You're the one who insisted on the kitchen floor being our first time."
"Crowley!"
The staircase to upstairs had also been painted. Aziraphale closed his eyes as he ascended the stairs, remembering where he was by the feeling of the handrail, the number of steps. The third step from the bottom had been replaced; it didn't squeak anymore.
"You'll never see the surprise that way." Crowley laughed as they reached the top. Aziraphale opened his eyes, "Oh!"
"Thought that would get that response." Crowley replied, a finger curling under Aziraphale's chin to close his open mouth, "The shelves were downstairs so long they were practically listed, so they put them all up here with the others and filled them with second hand books."
Aziraphale was already lost in the shelves. Even though there wasn't much of interest to such a hard core collector, the idea of his old upstairs becoming a home, shop and even, judging by the sign on the wall, a quiet place of study of so many otherwise doomed books had him completely enamoured.
The children's section, though small, was a goldmine of books the girls would probably love. In the end Aziraphale bought an old ladybird book, 'Smoke and Fluff', as well as 'I like this poem', a compilation sorted by age. Crowley found a book about tropical fish (Alice had recently taken an interest in the fish in the local village duck pond and he was toying with taking the girls to an aquarium) and a book of simple experiments for kids, given Ariel still thought a potato battery was magic. He browsed through the music section, and moved onto the art section. At length he snorted, "Hey Angel, I found you."
Aziraphale frowned at the picture, "Thank you dear, but I don't think that's me."
"You don't?"
"No, unless I passed Howard David Johnson in the street while looking particularly Angelic."
"Hey, stranger things have happened." Crowley chuckled, "And he does study the bible."
"You know how I feel about that at the moment." Aziraphale replied, "Do put it back dear."

Chapter Text

It was early evening when the Bentley rolled up the drive, and starting to go dusk. The cottage lights were on, welcoming them home, but as they got out of the car there was the distinct sound of music in the back garden.

"Looks like your girlfriend is here for her son." Aziraphale teased, nodding to Mrs. Dowling's car.

"Oh no." Crowley replied with mock despair, "What did the twins do this time?"

They made their way around the side of the house, to where the little tent was lit up. Warlock's shadow was visible, and he seemed to be either reading or telling a story, the music obviously coming from the phone he waved in his other hand whenever he gestured.

"And THEN-" Warlock was saying, "Nanny told me it was fine. So I took the fireworks and I put them all in the guard's portapotty. Then I lit one of the fuses and ran like hell!"

"What then?!" Alice squeaked.

"FIREWORKS?!" Ariel squealed.

"Not inside, Ri!" Alice admonished.

"Sorry." Ariel whispered.

"Should we stop this?" Aziraphale asked, concerned.

"Not on your life." Crowley chuckled, "Best prank ever. And the guard was even on patrol so he didn't get hurt."

"Crowley, really..."

"There was this ear-splitting explosion! It was great, it was as high as the trees! And then you just heard splat, splat, splat, just EVERYWHERE, and the guard came running and slipped, it was amazing!"

"What was the splat noise?" Ariel asked, confused, "My fireworks don'go splat."

"We're back girls!" Aziraphale called loudly, ignoring Crowley's frown.

"Daddy!" Chorussed the girls. The tent flap was thrown open, and the twins flew from it. They were covered in paint, chicken feathers, and mud, and Aziraphale hoped a miracle wouldn't be needed to get those marks out of his trousers as he braced for impact. But the twins had stopped dead, staring at Aziraphale.

"Girls?" He questioned. Then Crowley chuckled.

"Daddy?" Ariel beamed, the first to approach, "Daddy, Daddy's a lady today!"

"Daddy!" Alice joined her sister, grabbing at Aziraphale's trousers. The angel looked down at them and himself, remembering, "Crowley, you didn't remind me."

"Daddy, Warlock ha' stories! But this story will be BEST! Tell Warlock your story!"

"My story? Ariel dear-"

"Girls, girls." Crowley knelt and Alice grabbed at his glasses, pushing them up to kiss his nose, "Love you Dad."

Crowley blushed, "Thanks Li. Love you too." A handful of years ago he wouldn't have dreamed of ever using that word, even to Aziraphale. He ruffled Alice's hair.

"You see." he explained as he saw Warlock heading for them, studying Aziraphale intently, "You girls know sometimes I like to change things up? Well just occasionally so does your Daddy. On this occasion because we thought you girls might like a little brother or sister."

"Brother." The twins replied in unison.

"Can teach him 'bout Chickens!" Ariel squeaked, her speech descending into delighted sounding chicken noises.

"I'm sure whatever we end up having will be very interested in the chickens, my dear girls." Aziraphale murmured, picking up Ariel, "But how about I run you both a bath and we can talk about your day there?"

"But Warlock will have to go soon!" Alice protested.

"I'm sure Mrs Dowling will stay for a cup of something, and you can say goodnight after your bath." Crowley replied.

"Awwww." Alice grumbled, but Ariel was too busy poking Aziraphale's breasts, proclaiming, "Suits YOU sir."

"Where on earth did you pick that up?" Aziraphale asked as he guided Alice in with him, "Has your father been letting you watch inappropriate comedy again?"

"Only 5 minutes." Ariel replied.

"It's on Youtube." Alice added.

"Daddy, you really going to have 'nother baby?" Ariel asked, head on Aziraphale's shoulder as he started up the stairs.

"Daddy will you call them Eggy McFluff-face?"

Aziraphale paused at the top of the stairs, "Alice, why would I ever..." He shrugged it off and opened the bathroom door, "As for your question, Ariel..."

"You're having another baby?" Warlock asked Crowley, "And he - she? Just-" The teenager made an odd flip-flop gesture with his hands, "So you can both do that? That's baller as hell, Nanny!"  

Crowley smiled, keeping his thoughts to himself, "Let's go in, Warlock. I'll get your mother a coffee. And as per usual, not a word."

"Not a word." The lad grinned. Crowley wondered if Warlock would ever slip up, or if there would come a point where his mother would look at Crowley and utter the name 'Nanny Ashtoreth?' When the woman had moved out and come to live in Tadfield of all places, he had felt a little - not sad - maybe just a pang of remorse for her, being out here without friends or any real family. She could have gone back to the states, but in the name of doing right by her son, keeping him in a part of the world he was accustomed to during a time in his life that everything would be changing, she had stayed put. And so Crowley had carefully struck up chatter with her when he was out that way. It hadn't been long after the twins had arrived, and Crowley was careful to let Aziraphale know who had taken up residence nearby, and what story he was spinning them.

Warlock had stared at him when they 'first' met. Almost as though he were remembering another tall, dark figure with red hair and dark glasses, who had imbued him with a love of chaos. It had taken him less than thirty seconds alone with Crowley for the lad to ask the question, "Nanny?"

Crowley had lied, of course he had, but the boy kept insisting. He always pled ignorance, which lasted a month. This was when they finally took the girls out to meet the Them, and found Warlock quite happily in the middle of the group.

"Brother Francis?" he asked, and Aziraphale's shocked expression gave the game away. And so Warlock was brought up to speed with everything the rest of the Them knew, but under oath that he would never tell anybody outside of the group. Not his mother, not his father, nobody.

4 years down the line, he had kept his promise.

Harriet Dowling greeted Crowley warmly as he made his way in with the coffee, "Thank you, Anthony. Did you both have a good time?"

"It was very pleasant."

"And did you have your 'discussion'?" She raised her hands to make air quotes around the word.

Crowley had been forced to make up some interesting things in the time they'd lived here. Less so for the villagers nearby, as when Aziraphale had last been pregnant he hadn't wanted to walk far beyond the garden, and so nobody had commented on the pregnant man. This time however, he had been forced to come up with something to tell people like Harriet. He had settled on 'explaining' Aziraphale as somewhere around the labels trans, nonbinary and genderfluid, born female but preferring male clothing and generally pronouns. It had taken Harriet a few minutes and a small miracle to get her head around that.

"We did. Even gave it a whirl." He grinned into his mug.

"You don't waste any time do you?" Harriet chuckled.

"Would you? You've seen my Azira." Crowley laughed.

Warlock had put the television on, and was channel flipping. The conversation thankfully turned to what the music of the day was, a topic Crowley could be much more lax with his guard on.

About twenty minutes later, the living room door opened. The twins, in matching yellow hooded dressing gowns and holding hands, were ready for bed. Behind them, Aziraphale had switched back to his preferred male form, keeping his hair a little longer so as not to arouse suspicion when he was forced to remain in form. Crowley found he quite liked his partner's hair a bit longer.

"Dear Azira." Harriet waved. Aziraphale greeted her as though he hadn't just witnessed all hell break loose in their bath, but Crowley could tell by his expression that the reason the girls were quiet was because he had had to scold them by cutting bathtime short. Aziraphale couldn't discipline the girls, and had never raised his voice to them, but a mixture of two semi-magic wielding children and Crowley's encouragement had at least got him as far as being able to take them out of situations where they were too hyperactive. Even so, he regretted doing it.

The twins ran to Warlock to say their goodnights and goodbyes, and made him promise to come again soon. Then Crowley took the girls up while Aziraphale waved the Dowlings off. Harriet took his hand as Warlock jumped into the car, "And the best of luck with your endeavours."

"Thank you." Aziraphale managed, but was glad when the car pulled away and he could lock up for the night. He made his way out to the back, checked the chickens were in their house (They were) and that the twins hadn't left anything in the tent that shouldn't be there, before he locked the French doors and climbed the stairs.

It was still a little early for bedtime, but the girls would take some time to settle now, he knew. As he reached the top and crossed to the bathroom to mop up the water that was everywhere (Including the hall carpet somehow) he could hear their excited chattering. They were such happy, loving little girls, and it warmed Aziraphale's heart to hear Crowley reading out loud to them, doing all manner of voices as he had done for them before they were born.

The bathroom on it's way to being dry, Aziraphale abandoned the towels to the laundry basket and sat on the top step, outside the girls bedroom, to listen in. If Crowley had to read more than one story, he usually got bored and recited the second from his 6000-plus years of memories, and tonight was no exception. He could almost see himself there as the story began...

****

It was a heavenly day, as always. Somewhere beyond creation lay a light, airy room with the look of a classical Greek workshop, containing tools for weaving, sculpting and even one for crafting Fjords (That one was named Douglas)

A skinny leg appeared through the round window, hands gripping the ivy that hung in from the outside as a young, red headed angel who would someday be named Crowley slipped inside, fitting his wings with a wiggle. He dropped lightly to the floor and stared in amazement around him.

"I can hear you, Crowley, if you're going to watch me work at least don't skulk about, you know I am aware of you."

"Sorry, my Lord." the young angel murmured, hopping to sit on the table next to the vessels of holy material the entity was building his fellow angels with.

"You will be in trouble if Gabriel finds you." The deity hummed.

"He would act without your say, my Lord?"

"He was made to, while I am busy."

Crowley studied the form she was building, "I like the look of this one Lord. And when you look sideways and see their wheels, their eyes, their faces, their rings - I've never seen the like! Who are they?"

"Come now youngster, I cannot utter their name without them being present to be given it." She moulded a little dimple into the cheeks of his bipedal form, "They will be a Principality."

Crowley stared, "Where are the rest of their wings?"

"Child... I have no need to make all my angels the same." she was so busy, making all these children, all these different children for differing roles, their futures stretched beyond them before she had even finished, and the concentration required meant that the questioning was starting to evoke a response. A response like Lucifer and the others had caused such a short time ago.

Any other angel would have heard the warning tone in her voice, but Crowley was just... a little bit spoilt, and driven by a need for knowledge that she herself had put there. This would hurt him, she knew, and she would regret, but he had an important role to play, and that role depended on him continuing to ask these irritating questions.

"-But they'll tease them, Lord! Gabriel, Michael, Uriel, they'll never see them as an equal or a ruler with only two wings in this form!"

"Are you quite done, Crowley?" she knew he wasn't done, of course, so she continued to focus on the figure before her, made small forehead lines and added a little softness over their muscles. Made for love, that's right. Made to love with a heart of fire and the strength to protect.

"Can I meet them?" Crowley asked, "They're very pretty. I hope they have a good personality too."

"Did you come here for a reason, child?"

"Only for the curiosity, my Lord." He ruffled his wings, perhaps feeling that spike of anger finally. But she knew it wouldn't stop him asking. She could also hear the other footsteps approaching.

"So is the idea to maybe show the Archangels that we're all a little different, and differences are to be embraced?" Crowley asked, "Only, I can't see them getting those little nuances, you see they're not really as tolerant as they could be. A little free will goes a long way after all." Crowley paused, "I love their smile! Did you make all of us able to smile like that? Its such a joyous celebration of-" Crowley fell silent as strong hands gripped his shoulders. He glanced up, "Gabriel! Have you seen this angel? They're so-"

"You are not supposed to be here." Gabriel replied, "Get out."

"But why though? I just wanted to marvel at the work-" Gabriel lifted the slender angel over his shoulder and left without a further word.

(Left alone putting a curl into the hair of the angel before her, the deity was aware of the commotion in the back of their very being, and it took just a blink to make it stop, a golden tear streaking the unseen face. It landed on the angel's forehead, running down their cheek. She stepped back with a sigh, before she woke him, "Hello, Aziraphale."

"H-hello." He smiled gratefully, his eyes confused, knowing only that unknowable form he was still taking in. Then he reached a shaking hand to touch his cheek gently,

"Oh. Oh dear I'm sorry." He brushed the tear away, clutching his hand into a fist at the feeling of warmth but also divine fury. He raised his eyes back to the lord, blushing at the feeling of love exuding from his creator. A moment passed as she surveyed him, his mind, his heart, and his future, and contented herself with his place.

He was visibly startled when she produced a flaming sword, "Go on now, child. I will have work for you soon enough."

Crowley looked up from his hands. The twins were mercifully, already asleep. Warlock must have worn them out. He stood, checked they were tucked in (Though he was always reluctant to actually tuck them in as they seemed to be very light sleepers - A habit he presumed they got from Aziraphale), put the book he had read first on top of the bookcase, and moved to the door.

"Night, girls." He murmured as he turned out the light, and nearly fell bodily over the angel at the top of the stairs, "Aziraphale." He hissed, "What the-"

"I tidied the bathroom dear, and thought I'd enjoy your story." The angel replied, "But it can't possibly be true dear. I'm older than you, surely."

"Eh? Oh, oh that!" Crowley managed somehow to both keep his voice hushed and make it sound like he was shouting, "No, no." He sucked his teeth and stretched out his jaw, "Nah, just a story for the girls. Nothing for you to be jealous of."'

"Jealous?!?" Aziraphale squeaked without thinking, leading Crowley to fly across the hallway at him, clasping a hand to his mouth, "Shh."

Aziraphale stared into Crowley's eyes, his glasses having fallen somewhere when he tripped. The possibility that Crowley hadn't been talking about him, just used his name for the girls, had never entered his head, until now. He pulled the hand from his mouth, "I am above such things, dear. You don't have try and tempt me to fall."

"What, like you just tripped me?" Crowley hissed.

"It was an accident." Aziraphale hissed back, aware the girl's bedroom door was still open, "Look, can we take this downstairs, I don't fancy waking them with bad mood."

"Actually Angel, I was rather hoping we might go to bed."

"Crowley..." Aziraphale complained, "I'm tired, I don't want to switch again."

"Filthy Angel." Crowley chuckled, "Your fun can wait, I want some bloody rest!"

Chapter Text

The girls were starting infants school in a couple of weeks, and their dads had a surprise planned for them.
"Think is a kitty." Ariel muttered as they watched cartoons while their parents bustled around with bags.
"No, Kittens need litter trays, and they're taking things out not bringing them in." Alice replied.
"Din' say what SIZE kitty." Ariel sulked, "Might be a outdoor kitty. Like a tiger."
"Nu-uh." Alice snorted, "Stuff''s going OUT, so they're making room for the baby."
"Daddy going to magic a baby?" Ariel stared at her sister.
"No, he doesn't have chalk for the circle." Alice said matter-of-factly, "You should read more."
"Rather draw." Ariel replied, throwing a crayon, which bounced off her sister's head.
"Ow! Ri you're stupid!"
"M'not rude though." Ariel stuck her tongue out.
"You are SO rude!" Alice shrieked, throwing the spoon from her yoghurt. It hit the wall, sending splatters of pink everywhere.
"M'telling dada!" Ariel screamed.
"Oi!" Crowley yelled as he walked in, "What's going on in here?"
The twins exchanged glances.
"Nothing Dada."
Crowley narrowed his eyes, "You're allowed mischief, girls." He admonished, as he picked the spoon off the floor and clicked his fingers to fix the rest, "Not brute force."
"Dad, how much longer?!" Alice asked, jumping on the sofa, "I'm bored!"
"Nearly there. Go and get your shoes."
As Alice ran out and Ariel went to follow, the younger girl patted Crowley's hand, "Crayon Dada."
Crowley opened his hand to reveal the crayon, "Don't throw at your sister."
"She thinks she smart." Ariel replied, "N' I'm not stupid."
"No, you're not." Crowley agreed, "You're no reader, but you're one heck of an artist aren't you?" He held a finger up to the girl as she tried to take the crayon. She gazed up at him, doing big puppy dog eyes, "Please, Dada?"
"Put it back in your tin before you get your shoes." He said, handing it over.
"Thankoo Dada." Ariel beamed, the corners of her mouth crinkling like Aziraphale's did. Anathema hadn't been wrong when she said the girls would smile sunlight smiles. Crowley hid his smirk as he ushered the girl through to the hallway.

****

The girls were loaded into their car seats, tucked up with blankets and pillows.
"Where we going Daddy?" Ariel asked as Aziraphale put the girls case in the footwell.
"Somewhere lovely." Aziraphale beamed, stroking her hair, "You two just go to sleep, have your best dreams. We'll wake you when we get there."
Ariel beamed back at him, "Doesn't work on us, Daddy."
"I know." He patted the top of her head gently, making her squeak, "But it's always worth a try in these situations. Just try to be good, okay?"
"I'll be good if you tell us where we're going, Daddy." Alice said.
"Don't you dare, Angel." Crowley said, where he was tucking the older twin in, "You two need to calm down. You won't see anything when we get there anyway - it'll be dark by then."
The girls ready, Aziraphale went back to the house and returned with a cool box and a heavy canvas bag, which he tucked into the boot alongside their smaller amount of luggage. Not technically needing to pack clothes was a blessing, as it allowed them to only pack the bare minimum. Aziraphale was all for keeping things as normal and as human as possible for the girls, but Crowley bent the rules a little for them.
They headed West out of the South downs, bound for the south coast. Aziraphale hummed happily in anticipation. The girls loved water, and Crowley loved an excuse to bomb it down a motorway. Not that the M27 did the Bentley any good, rattling them about like a can of sardines. Aziraphale glanced into the back as the twins stirred, "Maybe we should take the coast road home instead, dear."
Crowley agreed in a heartbeat, "Bloody Southampton roads."
They made it to the holiday home in good time, and with the twins still asleep. They took one each, carrying them in gently and up the stairs to tuck them in before returning to unload the Bentley. The downstairs was open plan, living and dining room through to the kitchen, with reinforced archways instead of walls. The furniture and fittings were themed a soft blue throughout, and the two felt quite at home. Aziraphale filled the kettle while Crowley unpacked the cool box into the fridge, "We should get to bed soon too. They'll be up long before we are."
"I'll look after them if you want to lie in, Dear." Aziraphale told him, "The garden is walled, they can go out there for breakfast."
"Hopefully the beach will wear them out." Crowley grinned as he sank onto the sofa. Aziraphale put a mug in front of him, "Drink up, then we'll head up."
"Angel..." Crowley chuckled, grinning hopefully. Aziraphale glanced at him before clicking his fingers, "Alright then." He waited for Crowley to sit back before putting his own mug down and edging gently into the demon's lap, wrapping his warm arms around his partner's shoulders, "Here or bed, Dear?"

****

The twins were excited when they woke up. Aziraphale managed to herd them downstairs before they decided to bounce on the bed and wake their father, though he did wake just a few moments later when Ariel screamed, "The Garden made of rocks!"
"No, Dear." Aziraphale explained patiently, opening the French doors, "It's a walled garden. See? A very old wall at that, all held together with mosses and flowers."
"Oh..." The little girl touched the wall, fascinated. Alice by contrast was hauling her case across the floor, "Daddy, did you bring my books?"
"Li, Dear, breakfast before books please." The angel said. He hoped the girl hadn't clocked the little complimentary bookcase behind the sofa.
He made the girls up some cereal as the kettle boiled, listening to them chatter about the colours of the flowers in the wall. The sun hadn't quite crept above the wall yet, but he couldn't help but think how lovely it must be out there in the evening, with the cool night air offset by the warmth coming off the bricks and rocks in that small space. Maybe they should have some sort of take away this evening, and eat outside. Unless they were still at the beach.
"S'called Blue dream." Ariel was saying.
"But it's LILAC." Alice argued.
"Was named by a human." Ariel replied, as if that explained everything.
"Humans aren't that bad." Aziraphale said, as he brought the bowls out to the girls, who settled down on the flagstone floor hungrily.
"Not smart though." Alice answered.
"Some of them are." The angel admonished.
"Like who?" Ariel asked.
"Anathema, for one."
"Auntie Ana is a witch, Daddy." Alice said between mouthfuls.
"She's still a human."
"An' she likes Uncle Newt." Ariel giggled, "He's quite daft!"
Aziraphale tried to hide a smile, "Well. She must see something in the young fellow. Besides, Anathema did very well delivering the two of you."
"She's postlady too?" Ariel squeaked.
"No Ri, it means she answers the calling circle." Alice told her. Aziraphale bit his lip. He wasn't quite ready to have this conversation yet, though he knew he would have to shortly.
"Chew your food girls, you're not snakes." Crowley said suddenly. Aziraphale turned, "I'm so sorry Dear, I did try..."
"I know you did, Angel." Crowley forced a smile, never at his best before his first coffee of the day, "Breakfast?"

****

They were a short walk from the beach, a fact Ariel had already deduced from her identification of the plant life in the wall. Alice for once agreed with her reasoning, excited at the thought of the sea. They held hands and skipped happily ahead of their parents on the walk down to the shore. It took a short time to find some beach that was miraculously not jam packed in the glorious summer weather, but once they did, Aziraphale set up the picnic things and some shade while Crowley smothered the girls in sun cream and took them down to the sea. Aziraphale settled on the picnic blanket with a book, though he kept a hand on Crowley's phone - which he had finally learnt how to unlock and take pictures on, for the sole purpose of surprising Crowley with them later. The delight invoked by some of them was enough that it convinced Aziraphale that the lord had done something to both of their core beings when she protected them and changed their wings. He didn't outright feel any different, but as Crowley had noted, from time to time his angelic outer tended to slip, letting out the inner bastard his partner seemed to adore so much. His tirade on the church had been one of these times, he knew, although he found himself hard pressed to actually disagree with what he had said. Even outwardly. Crowley of course, seemed to be finding it far easier to express himself emotionally. He wished the lord had done something about his nightmares though. Even now, that cunning imagination was it's own worst enemy in dreams.
They were far less distant from humans than they had been in the last 6000 years, and Aziraphale was interested in seeing how this turned out.
After a while, Crowley left the girls at the edge of the surf and slumped onto the dry sand, complaining, "Why on a day like today, with the Gulf stream still functioning, is the water so damn cold?!"
"Because of your reptile blood, dearest." Aziraphale told him, "Shall I?"
"You don't swim."
"No, but I'm stronger and sturdier than you, I'll wade better."
Crowley shrugged, "I'll alert the lifeguards to watch you."
"Really, Dear."
To Crowley's surprise, Aziraphale did well with the girls in the sea, paddling out with them up in water up to his waist, and he even managed to keep his cool when they both jumped him and he fell backwards into an oncoming wave, coming up for air spluttering and pawing the water blindly to make sure the current hadn't pulled the twins too far away. They were laughing when he eventually lead the girls up to the shade, where Crowley tempted them into staying put for a while with the picnic they'd brought.
Aziraphale flumped back onto the warm sand with a contented sigh, "Bracing." he had worn a polo top and shorts today after a short discussion with Crowley about the uselessness of his suit at the beach (okay, when Crowley had hidden his suit in the interests of indecency, obviously), and the demon chuckled as his partner pulled up his top just a little, to let the sun warm his soft middle.
"It's a shame it's so public." Crowley chuckled quietly in Aziraphale's ear, "Bet we'd have some fun making fledglings here."
"I wouldn't fancy my backs chances." Aziraphale snorted. His nose still burned from the salt water, and he wondered briefly as he reached for a drink if it was appropriate to try and squirt his water bottle at his face.
Alice broke his train of thought, "Daddy, I want to build a castle!"
"Have you eaten your lunch?" Aziraphale murmured, quite enjoying the sun's warmth and privately, how quickly his clothes were drying. Not that he would admit that to Crowley.
"Yes Daddy I had 4 triangles and an Apple."
"Good girl." He sat up and went to the canvas bag of beach toys, "Buckets and spades both!"
Ariel refused, "Ham samwich, Daddy."
"I do apologise, Ri. I didn't realise it was a HAM sandwich! Most important." He put the bucket and spade beside her and headed back towards the water with Alice and her set. Crowley lay on his side, watching Ariel eat, "You're taking your time, Ri"
"Cold." she replied, squeezing her sandwich to her. Crowley remembered his earlier comment about the girls not being snakes, and hid a smirk.
"You could have got out the sea..." He shook his head, "Come up here." he wrapped a towel around her shoulders and pulled her into his lap for a hug, "Don't go getting poorly, little Ri-Ri." He nuzzled her curls with his nose and she giggled, "Dada, stop! My sandwich..." she forced the rest of it into her mouth with a giggle. Crowley laughed, "You are so my daughter, you know that?" He tickled her, "Trying to swallow your food whole all the time."
Ariel giggled, "Dada no!" she flailed, eventually settling for tickling his ribs in return. Crowley uttered a short yelp of a laugh and pushed her lightly off him, "Go on now, go build your sandcastles."
"Dada help me? Daddy's helping Li..." Ariel gazed at him with her puppy eyes again. Crowley hated it when she did that to him, "Oh, go on. I don't know, when are you leaving home, eh?" He ruffled her hair. Ariel giggled and handed him her bucket.
Aziraphale was helping Alice build a moat when Crowley and Ariel joined them at the wetter side of the beach. He beamed, "Oh, girls, here you go." He produced two little white flags on sticks with a flourish. Crowley rolled his eyes, "I don't want to know where you hid those."
Both girls looked at the flags curiously. Aziraphale chuckled, "What do you want on them?"
"Flowers!" Ariel squeaked.
"Stars." Alice said.
Crowley watched Aziraphale expectantly for the telltale flick of his wrist or fingers, but there was nothing. He scanned the angel's face to see if he expected him to do the miracle, but in that moment the girls squeaked excitedly. Crowley returned his eyes to the flags, which bloomed in patchy colour until they were recognisable. Alice's yellow stars sat upon a navy background with the streak of a nebula running red through the middle. Ariel's was much more delicate, with some semblance of petals in her multiple layers of flowers.
Crowley glanced to Aziraphale, who had raised his eyebrows but continued to talk, "Those are beautiful! Those are for your castles."
A moment later Crowley was startled from his amazed stupor when Ariel ran back to him, "Dada Dada, have to build a castle for my flag!"
"Oh, that's lovely Ri..." He stared at it as she pressed it into his hand. The girl definitely had more sense of colour, shape and form than her sister, and her flowers always seemed just a little advanced for her age. He followed her down the surf a little, "Here, Ri, do you want to see if we can get this castle taller than your sisters?"
"Yeah!"

Chapter Text

The afternoon wore on. The tide turned, and the girls sat on the sea front with Crowley, watching their castles succumb to the sea while Aziraphale fetched chips.
"Bye-bye castle!" Ariel sang as the tower collapsed into the waves.
"Daddy said you cheated, Dad." Alice giggled, "He said miracle-ing a copy of Corfe castle is cheating."
"Your Daddy had a head start." Crowley teased, "We were just keeping up with you."
The girls laughed. Crowley sat back, pondering the flags again.
"Girls?" He asked suddenly.
"Dada?" They chorused.
"How did you make the flags pretty?"
The twins blinked at him.
"You know... your Dad gave you the flags and they just... got pretty."
The twins looked at each other. Crowley could almost see the cogs turning in their brains.
"Don't know Dada."
"Just kind of-"
"Just went floosh!"
"-and then suddenly, pretties."
"I see." Crowley didn't see at all. When they drew a miracle, they had to draw that power, up or down, even now. So where was the girl's power coming from?
"Chips!" Aziraphale announced, "Get the plates out the picnic box please, Ariel! And the baby wipes please Alice, or you'll have sand in your food."
After they had eaten, the two unearthly beings sat on the steps down to the beach, the girls running laps in what was left of the sand. Aziraphale sat on the beach proper, leant back between Crowley's legs as the demon gently stroked his blonde hair.
"I did like your little sand steam train." The angel admitted, "I do miss the age of steam."
"Thought you'd appreciate that." The demon chuckled, "We should go to the real castle, you can see the real trains from there."
"Not on fire though dear?" Aziraphale chuckled, "Next time maybe no fire. I mean how did you even set sand on fire?"
"You're no fun Angel." Crowley chuckled. There was a pause before he leaned forward and whispered, "If we put wards on the house so the girls were safe, we could come back here later..."
Aziraphale snorted, "I appreciate the offer, dear boy, but in the sand? Or the surf, if the tide comes all the way in?"
"Waves and moonlight not romantic enough, Angel?" The demon hissed lightly in his ear on the way to kiss his forehead. The Angel blushed, "But the sand, Crowley. Where were you during the red sea event?"
"Uh? Oh, Up river. Volcano." Aziraphale stared at him, but didn't comment, "Well you must know about sand, Dearest..." He sighed, and gently flapped his shirt again. There was a rustle of particles falling from inside. The Angel gestured around him, "Not in the sand, unless you're volunteering to preen us both after."

* * * *

Crowley woke the following morning, warm, contented and alone in bed. He forced his eyes open when he realised Aziraphale wasn't with him, and sat up, dismayed. Had he missed the girls getting up? It had been a long day yesterday, and the drive the day before... He stood, and made his way to the other bedroom, finding the twins still curled up in bed. He smirked, "Guess you did wear yourselves out." and pulling on his boxers, headed downstairs to the living room, finding the Angel wrapped in a dressing gown with a book and a cup of tea, but not in a relaxed way. He was frustrated, pouting at the book as if he couldn't quite understand it.
"You alright, Angel?"
"I don't understand." Came the reply, "She said I could do it, she wouldn't lie. So why is it not happening?"
Crowley sat on the arm of the sofa, "It took a while last time Angel, days of nothing but sex and you pulling your feathers out and biting yourself."
"But I'm TRYING now, Crowley." Aziraphale managed, 'I'm not in a hazy murky daze, I know what I need to do, but it's not working! I don't know if I'm not triggering it correctly or if something else isn't working." He dumped the book on the coffee table irritably, "Human texts don't help, I've studied so many and not one describes how it should actually feel."
Crowley bit his lip, "It looked pretty frustrating to me. Frustration and warmth and desperation?"
"But..." Aziraphale managed, clasping his hands in front of him, "What does it feel like to know that you've released the right bits that grow into a child? Some humans get hot and have cramps, do I have to stay in this form and try to create a cycle like they do? It sounds frightfully messy."
Crowley slid into the seat next to the angel, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, "Why should anyone else's experience mean anything at all, Angel? We're not human, after all..."
Aziraphale didn't even hear him, his mind working a mile a minute, "And then there's the hormones, and the pheromones involved... I mean what if I'm not releasing the right ones to switch you on correctly?"
Crowley snorted, "I'd say I was 'turned on', unless you're critiquing MY performance."
"No Crowley, I'm not." The angel sighed, sitting back and pinching the bridge of his nose, "It's got to be me, I mean I'm the one having to change things, I'm what's different here, you are the same as you ever were and you managed it just fine last time."
"Thank Lucifer for that." Crowley muttered, "Listen, Angel, you're getting far too stressed out about this. It's going to take time, but it's time we've got. Why are you so impatient?"
"I-I don't know." The angel admitted, "Maybe I - just want to know she..."
Crowley gave his partner's shoulder a squeeze, "Hang in there Angel. Don't go losing your faith. You're the one she speaks to, after all."
"I haven't. It's not her." He paused, his face flushing, "What if it's me?"
"You? Angel your Lord and God bestowed the ability to breed like a fucking rabbit (if you see fit) upon you, what could possibly be wrong with you?"
"Well, I haven't worked out how to do it yet..." The angel sighed. Crowley gazed at him a moment, tilting his head, swaying gently from side to side.
"You need a good breakfast." He decided, "And perhaps to go and wake the girls, to remember that you told me your life was complete whether or not we had more."
"Crowley..."
"And if all else fails Angel?" Crowley jumped off the seat to start breakfast with a flourish and a wink, "We can keep practising until it happens."

* * * *

The holiday was wonderful, but all too soon they were piled back into the car, Crowley and the girls singing along to Queen as the Bentley purred its way down delightful tree-lined B-roads with glimpses of the sea in the late afternoon sun. At length Crowley glanced across to Aziraphale, "You're still thinking about it, aren't you?"
The angel sighed, "No, Crowley, just about the girls going to school and..." He tailed off. Crowley snorted, "So you are then. You don't get to have empty nest syndrome yet, Angel."
"I suppose maybe I think she put her faith in the wrong angel." He replied. Crowley glanced across at him, but he was staring impassively out of the window.
"We'll talk about this later." He muttered, patting his partner's hand.
As it turned out, they didn't get to talk about it later. They arrived home tired, and after unloading the car, loading the washing machine and making sandwiches for tea, the girls were for once glad to go to bed. Aziraphale coaxed the chickens back into their house and locked them in for the night (Various members of the Them had been around while they had been gone, feeding and housing the birds. Aziraphale fully expected to find one of the eggs in the henhouse miraculously hatching without a cockerel at some point. Adam wouldn't have meant it, but even now his wandering mind could have some very strange effects.)
Much like the girls, the other day.
The angel had returned to the house and was rummaging in a cupboard for a new tin of Cocoa powder when there was a knock at the door. Crossly he left the unopened tin on the side and moved to the front door, unbolting it and pulling it open carefully.
"I must admit I wasn't expecting visitors this late in..." He stared at the two figures, "Oh. Hello."
Gabriel glowered. To the outside world it was a charming smile, but Aziraphale knew this face of old, and made sure he set himself into the doorframe, denying the pair access.
Beelzebub twitched and spoke first "There haz been.. a development, hazz there not?"
"There has? I'm sorry, I don't follow."
Gabriel raised his hand from his pocket. In its palm lay two waterlogged paper flags.
"Oh how delightful, did you two go to the beach too?" Aziraphale hoped he sounded braver than he felt.
"You imagine-" Gabriel was saying, or rather, cheerfully threatening, "Your hybrid - bastard - spawn could start wielding the power cosmic and the forces of Heaven would not notice?"
"To be fair, you didn't. I did." Beelzebub muttered sullenly.
"What precisely are we supposed to have done?" Aziraphale swallowed. He wasn't all that good at other peoples arguments and it was taking all his efforts not to move his hands from their impassive stance in the doorframe and start wringing them anxiously.
"These flags." Gabriel growled.
"Oh, they were terribly difficult to put together. You have to make a sort of banner and fold it in half. Crowley tried to show me on his Ewe tube, but I didn't really understand what sheep had to do with it."
"Shut. Up."
"They were decorated in miraclezz." Beelzebub stated. Aziraphale felt his heart jump, and forced himself to make a noise remarkably close to the scoff he was trying for.
"Those? but they're just strips of paper. Barely that. Where did the ink go?"
Gabriel took a breath he didn't need, as if trying to calm himself down from the idiocy of his subordinate, "Its was a glamour you idiot, a transformative work."
"Come again?"
"You really can't be that stupid. Did you lose your mind when you lay in sin with that Demon?! Its the same thing it uses on it's automobile."
"And yet it wasn't waterproof?" Aziraphale questioned.
Beelzebub and Gabriel looked at each other, the seeds of doubt already blossoming.
"I mean... the Bentley survived the M25 you know. That's hardly a couple of hours off the south coast, is it?'
"You haven't heard the last of this..." Gabriel replied, and threw the flags at Aziraphale. Quite to his surprise he caught them in mid air. Gabriel was already gone though. Beelzebub sniffed and made the gesture between their human form's eyes and the angel, as if to indicate they'd be watching him. This only made Aziraphale wonder what their other eyes would be doing.
The door shut and locked behind him, Aziraphale slid down it to the floor for support. He breathed heavily, trying to calm down his body, before opening his hands. The patterns on the flags had returned, and he cradled them gently to his chest as he stood and moved to put them in an unused vase on the mantlepiece.
"You alright Angel?" Crowley asked from the doorway, "I felt something-" He gazed at the vase, "Kept that quiet, didn't you? I thought the kingdoms went down with the castles."
Aziraphale clicked his fingers to switch his body, in an attempt to calm his shaking and distract the conversation, "Crowley, darling, would you please be so kind as to take me to bed?"

Chapter Text

Aziraphale had been dreading this day. Well not exactly dreading, but not looking forward to it as he understood he probably should have been.
"Daddy, no!" Ariel was screaming as he tried to brush the knots out of her curls.
"Ri, Dear..." He fretted at her.
"You'll have to have it cut off if you don't brush it." Crowley warned her, from where he was helping Alice to get her new shoes on. Ariel flailed at Aziraphale again, screaming until he grabbed at her arm to stop her from falling over as he tried to finish her hair.
"Hurts!" the girl protested.
"It can't be that bad, surely..." Aziraphale was almost in tears at the idea of hurting one of the girls. Then Crowley took the brush, "Let me." He turned Ariel to face him where he knelt before her, "Listen baby girl, you're going to be late for school if you don't let us brush your hair now." He turned her back around and took hold of the base of her curls with one hand, preventing her from feeling the full extent of the brush, "Better?"
"No..." the girl grumbled.
"Well, that's unfortunately not an option love. You can't leave curls, you'll get matts. Then you'll have to have it all cut off."
"Is that why you have short hair, Dad?" Alice asked.
"Yeah, I mean, I've tried it all." Crowley grinned. (The other reason being he had cut it short when the girls as babies had decided they liked to pull on his curls, and he hadn't quite gotten around to deciding what style he liked now) He finished the younger girl's hair a moment later, "Come on Ri, shoes, and on the front step please."
As the girls headed outside Crowley patted Aziraphale's arm, "Come with us, see them off. We can go out for a drive or something afterwards."
"Okay." The angel nodded, a little dejectedly.
They took a few photos on the step. Aziraphale hoped his smile wasn't too obviously fake. It wouldn't do to not have any of them fit to put up on the wall. They walked the girls to the village and dropped them off. Aziraphale rested his head a moment on the bars of the fence, muttering a few words of blessing before the two red heads vanished into a group of other children about the same age. A few they knew from the playgroup they had been to before the summer holidays, and he was glad of that, at least.
"I hope they don't do anything embarrassing." Crowley chuckled.
Aziraphale nodded numbly. Crowley stroked his back gently, "Look... maybe we can find somewhere quiet to have a drink, eh?"

* * * *

Six weeks passed. Aziraphale was still out of sorts, and Crowley wasn't sure how best to fix it. He knew what the problem was, but as his partner had said, it was most likely a problem he had to fix for himself. The demon had been to the local library and flicked through journals and books, and even used the free login for research pages there to try and help, but at the end of the day it seemed a lot of layfolk just didn't care how precisely the human body produced eggs.
Crowley had even spent an afternoon in the hen house talking to the chickens about it, but they didn't care one Iota. All they cared about was the fact he was listening to their eggs as he collected them every morning. He almost considered asking one of the local farmers if he could borrow a cockerel, to see if there was an audible or vibration difference between the contents of a fertilised egg vs an unfertilised one.
Aziraphale was running out of steam in his quest to work it out. Being told he could control his heat was different to actually being able to trigger it, after all. A rainy afternoon in mid October, he wondered if he'd dreamed the voice in the garden. Then he wondered not for the first time if he was losing his faith as he let his inner bastard out to play more. He shuddered at the thought.
Crowley broke into his ponderings, "Just going to get the girls, Angel. Can you keep an eye on the stew for me while I'm out?"
"Of course." He agreed, relishing the change in scenery. A few minutes after Crowley had left he was poking idly at the stew with a wooden spoon. It bubbled away happily to itself, and he stirred it before putting the lid back on with a satisfied nod. He got the bread rolls and cutlery out and laid the table, before sitting back in his chair with his book, until he heard the Bentley pull up outside. A fresh hail of rain pattered against the French doors, and the angel put his book down, waiting for it to be drowned out. 3, 2, 1...
"Daddy, Daddy!" The twins were full of beans tonight it seemed. Even in their first term of school, they had already learned that half term holidays were good things, and they told him about their day as Crowley went back to the cooking. The girls barely stopped chattering over their stew, and they played nicely in the living room that evening while their parents drank their tea in the kitchen.
"I forgot." Crowley said suddenly, moving to the table in the hallway and returning, passing a folder to Aziraphale and slumping in the chair beside him. The angel opened it curiously. It was the twins half term school reports, and they were glowing. His shoulders wiggled in joy, "We have such wonderful girls, Crowley!"
"Don't we just." Crowley replied, and before he could stop himself, he continued, "Can't wait to see who else we can make."
Aziraphale glanced up at the comment. Crowley had glanced away, aware of his concerns about his on going inability to conceive, "Ngk. Um. Sorry Angel."
"No, please don't be." Aziraphale felt warm inside for the first time in weeks, "It's nice to hear you so positive about it. When I suggested it you didn't really have an opinion."
"Oh, Angel." Crowley sighed, "I can not have an opinion while still being happy with our family, no matter what happens." He squeezed his partner's hand gently. Aziraphale smiled, "It's still nice, Crowley."
At length Crowley went to get the girls their bath while Aziraphale cleared the tea things. This done he locked up and went upstairs. He felt...warm. He felt warm in his true, otherworldly form even. He gave the girls their bedtime hugs as they headed to bed from the bathroom, and made his way to his room, a quick finger click changing his form. He removed his Jacket and waistcoat, unbuttoned the bottom of his shirt, and looked at himself in the dress mirror, noticing the flush of his cheeks.
His stomach clenched as he met his own eyes.
"This is it!" He squeaked. This was of course how he felt after Gabriel's visit 5 years ago! He racked his brains for a trigger, remembering the last few weeks of small warm flickers, his irritability, the occasional itch that needed scratching... and focussing in on Crowley's enthusiasm after tea. Crowley... The girls story must be almost over now, he told himself...
He bit his lip at the feeling that was building between his legs, and he slipped out of his trousers and ran to the door to await Crowley's return.
He didn't have to wait too long.
"Goodnight girls." Crowley left the nursery, closing the door behind him, to be greeted with the curves of his partners form, still wearing his usual shirt but open below the chest to allow for the hips, and even with more appropriately cut underwear for this new body.
"You're ready to try again then?" Crowley managed.
"Mmhm."
"You're sure? Didn't mean to push the subject earlier."
Aziraphale giggled, "Dear Crowley..." and took a few steps towards him, taking his hand, pulling him to the doorway and into a delicate kiss.
Crowley threw his arms around Aziraphale's shoulders as he kissed back.
"Dear, Dearest..." Aziraphale breathed, and Crowley could almost smell the electricity in his body, "I think... I've cracked it this time."
Crowley pulled away a little to look his partner in the eye, noting the way his always changing eyes seemed more green this evening, and more importantly they were half closed flirtatiously. There was a haziness there he hadn't seen since... He chuckled as the angel stepped back towards him, arms encircling his waist and drawing himself up to fit against the demon.
"I think maybe you have, Angel." Crowley chuckled, "To the bedroom!"
Crowley was glad his angel had caught his heat early. This was far superior to the week of rough sex they'd had last time. This was gentle, if enthusiastic lovemaking with the added bonus that Aziraphale took the mid way point to surprise Crowley by using his wings to raise them and his strength to flip them over, so he took control. Crowley shivered, pushed close to his limit but not quite there.
He gazed up at Aziraphale, his wings aloft, almost irritating the dust on the lampshade until he pushed himself upright and began murmuring to himself as he moved, a distinct mantra borne of hormonal lust.
"Our own side..." He caught.
"Our own side." Crowley found himself repeating in agreement, "All ours."
Aziraphale sank back down to him, holding him as close as he could while Crowley's hands felt the muscles in the Angel's back working. He nibbled Aziraphale's neck, "Angel..." His partner's grip loosened, and his hands found the Angel's breasts, working gently at them. Aziraphale gasped in surprise, uttering a short shriek. The angel's concentration broken, this time Crowley flipped them, knowing they were both close. He moved his mouth to the angel's ear, nipping gently, "Can I get a Wahoo, you filthy, filthy Angel?"
Aziraphale panted, "Wa-wa...wahoo..."
"You can do... better." Crowley pressed the angel to the bed, pushing them both over the brink. Aziraphale's wing tips flapped involuntarily as he uttered a series of noisy cries.
"Didn't hear that." Crowley panted.
"Wahoo."
"Nope, still not hearing..."
"Oh for..." Aziraphale gulped at the air, "WAHOO! Sweet merciful Jesus, Crowley, please stop moving..."
"Crowley kissed him. The angel reached to hold him there, whimpering as he continued to pant as best as he could through his nose. Crowley began to chuckle.
"You silly, soft Angel." He murmured fondly.
"Really, Dear..." Aziraphale clung to Crowley, arms around his neck, "You're the one asking for Wahoo's."
There was a sudden draft. Neither thought much about it until a small voice asked, "Why you so happy?"
"Wahoo." giggled another.
Crowley's eyes widened, and he rolled off Aziraphale as fast as he could, trying to drag the bedcovers to cover himself. Aziraphale was buzzing with happiness though, and lay where he was, wiggling his shoulders with his arms folded over his breasts. With a giggle he replied, "It's okay girls. We're just so happy to have each other and you. Please go back to bed."
"Wahoo Dada." Ariel giggled before the girls did as they were asked.
"Shit." Crowley managed, as the girl's bedroom door closed, "That was too close." He rolled to face Aziraphale, who lay on his back, beaming, his hands clasped together at his chest almost in prayer, "You okay?"
"Mmm." He replied.
"Did we?"
"Won't know for a few hours." He replied, "But looking positive."
Crowley wrapped an arm around his partner, and placed a kiss under his bellybutton, "Here's hoping."
Aziraphale giggled, "Crowley, stop tickling!"
The demon raised his eyebrows, flicked his tongue against the Angel's bellybutton, and at his shriek moved downwards, "Noisy Angel. Have to get you used to this."
"Ohhhh Crowley..."

* * * *

In a board room in purgatory, two figures were having their monthly meeting as regarding the behaviour of their respective underlings.
"Disgusting."
Gabriel paced, not wanting to look any further. He paused, "Absolutely disgusting!"
Beelzebub chuckled, "I knew Crowley wazz a znake but-"
"Despicable! This was supposed to be a punishment, and yet the lord condones this! This revolting display of fraternisation."
"Thizz human display of fraternisation."
"Exactly! They don't behave like an Angel or a Demon any more, and yet they're still on our books. As for those halflings-"
"Zee order stands indefinitely - they are not to be touched."
"Surely..." Gabriel cried, "The order can't be enforced on your side?"
Beelzebub took a glass phial from their pocket and held it in front of the Archangels face. A little shake made the contents glitter and a single insectoid eyeball swirl.
"The last time I zend my people after thoze fools."
"Right. You can put that away now." Gabriel turned his attention back to the surveillance, "Are they actually doing it AGAIN?"
Beelzebub chuckled, "Archangel, you havve a dirty, dirty Angel, zzzzzzz."
"I take NO responsibility for that... thing!"
"It zeems to be... enjoying itzelf."
"Urg."
A piece of paper popped into existence in front of each of the figures a moment later. Gabriel frowned at it, "Oh, now that is too much. How the-"
Beelzebub shook their head, "You started zis. However. There may be a way to keep an eye on developmentzz. Thiz is the key."

Chapter Text

Aziraphale woke in the early hours. He shifted uncomfortably. Crowley rolled over, "Mm?"
The angel held a hand to his heart gently, revelling at the sudden, visible spike in his aura, the little explosion of love and granted energy. He blinked, moved a hand down to his pelvis. Crowley watched the angel's eyes light up with a little squeak. He wiggled happily. The demon reached over, happy when Aziraphale took his hand and pressed it gently to a spot where he could sense the satisfying presence that had finally manifested itself.
"Angel..."
"We did it, Crowley!" squeaked Aziraphale, squeezing his hand, "There, the colour and light!"
Crowley grinned, 'We did it? You did it, Angel. Well done!"

* * * *

The first few months were far easier than Aziraphale remembered. They were able to take their time making the announcement, starting with Anathema and Newt, Shadwell and Madam Tracy. They held off on speaking to the Them and Harriet though, if only because they had to tell the girls first.
"We'll have to tell them soon." Aziraphale told Crowley as he glanced at himself in the dress mirror near the end of January, "They're going to notice."
"You're not even showing yet." Crowley assured him from the bed.
"Maybe not from where you're standing!" Aziraphale complained as he stalked over, "I'm the one who can't keep their shirt buttoned."
Crowley stared hard at the bare middle that was level with his head at present. He touched it gently, stroking his hand downwards, "I suppose it is a bit..." He paused, "Not as early as last time but still a bit of a surprise. 14 weeks are we?"
"Mm. But it's not my first time, after all. Corporeal muscles stop knitting together so well in the middle after the first one." Aziraphale muttered, "So less pressure is needed for it to kind of... pop out."
"Right. No time like the present then." Crowley said, hopping off the bed, "Girls?"
The twins appeared at the door guiltily. Crowley ignored their faces, "Come and sit down, we've got something to say."
"I dint mean to push her." Ariel admitted.
"I didn't mean to shut the wardrobe door on her." Alice added.
Crowley waved them over to the bed, where Aziraphale was sitting.
"Truth is girls..." Crowley started.
"We're having a baby!" Aziraphale finished gleefully.
The girls squealed happily.
"When are they arriving?!" Alice asked as Ariel bounced on the bed.
"Erm." The angel did the maths, "August. Possibly July."
"That's a long time!" Ariel said. Alice rummaged in her pockets and produced a stick of chalk, "Daddy, you can summon them with this."
Aziraphale giggled, "No dear, you don't understand, there's something you need to know about where babies come from."
Ariel hopped into his lap, "Tasha said parents do a course and they put a baby up inside the mummy."
Crowley couldn't stifle a giggle. Alice snorted, "Tasha doesn't know anything-"
"Actually, she's not far off." Aziraphale said quietly, reaching for the girls hands, "We're keeping ours here." he placed them on his middle.
Alice glanced at Ariel. The younger girl returned the glance.
"Tiny." Ariel said suddenly, beaming, "Tiny, tiny baby."
Alice paused, looking a little uncomfortable. Aziraphale caught her eye, "What's wrong dear?"
The girl shook her head, "Don't know." She slipped off the bed and left the room. Crowley met Aziraphale's eye and went after her. Ariel put her other hand on the angel's middle, "Daddy." She cooed, "Daddy building a baby."

* * * *

Crowley brought Alice downstairs later, when Aziraphale and Ariel had settled down to listen to the rain under a tartan blanket. Ariel was drawing, and the angel was leafing through a book a little anxiously. He looked up when his eldest daughter entered the room - looking like she had been crying.
"Sorry Daddy." She murmured.
"No trouble at all my dear." He replied, patting the other side of the sofa and lifting the blanket for her to join them, "What was that all about, eh?"
"Don't know." The girl replied in a small voice, "It scared me."
"Scared you dear? It's just a little baby." Aziraphale remarked kindly as he held the girl to his side, hugging her, "They won't hurt you."
Alice gazed up at him, shaking her head. Aziraphale kissed her forehead, "Oh my dear. How can I help? Can I read you something?"
"Mm." The girl clambered a bit more into his lap, moving her hands to hug at his neck rather than touch his middle. Aziraphale wrapped an arm around her back, "There, there dear."
The girl had a few more tears, and he shushed her gently. Ariel had sensibly chosen not to tease her sister, though she did whisper, "I liked them, daddy."
Then Crowley appeared with a tray of mugs of cocoa, and both girls were distracted. Ariel's drawing book fell on the floor, and she ignored it to chase marshmallows across the top of her mug. Crowley picked up the book. He frowned at it. Aziraphale glanced up, nodding towards it at Crowley's expression.
Crowley turned the book and Aziraphale stared. It wasn't art that you'd hang in the Louvre, but it was recognisable, far more than a four and a half year old's should have been.
It was a baby, its eyes closed and wearing a cheeky smile, almost seated in a lotus position, a red aura highlighting its perfect blonde curls.
"Think this one's for the fridge." Crowley managed.
"Never mind the fridge." Aziraphale managed, "That one can go on the wall!"

* * * *

"Dad." Alice pulled on Crowley's sleeve, where he was sat watching Ariel drawing.
"Hey Li, finished your reading already?" He asked.
"No." she bit her lip, "We were reading The happy Prince and Daddy started crying. I gave him a hug but he just cried more."
Crowley blinked, "Okay, I'll go and see what I can do. You stay here and draw with Ri."
He strode to the library. Aziraphale was indeed crying, the book on the side beside him.
"What's wrong, Angel?" Crowley managed, sliding into a sitting position beside him and holding him. The angel sniffed back tears as he rolled his head on Crowley's shirt, unable to speak. Crowley reached behind him and lifted the book. He sighed, "Oh Angel, I've told you about reading Wilde when you're like this. You've been getting worse for weeks."
"It's-its such-a beautiful story." Aziraphale managed around his tears, "And his soul, Crowley, he was so-"
"Yes, well." Crowley sighed, not wanting to hear anymore about the deep connection his partner had shared with Oscar Wilde, "A small part of him lives every time somebody reads his work. And I'm sure he didn't expect his friend to be pregnant and crying over his work over a century later. What would he have thought of this?"
"Sometimes humans are so beautiful, Crowley." Aziraphale murmured, the mood passing him. Crowley patted his hand, "Think you've had enough reading for one day. Come on, I'll make you some tea and we can go for a walk with the girls. Just don't cry over the butterflies this time."
The walk was a welcome break, but Aziraphale was tired after it. Crowley fetched a blanket and put the TV on for the girls to watch while their father was sleeping. He made his way into the kitchen, pondering what would be a good evening meal.
After starting the tea off, he walked back into the living room, "Everybody alright temperature wise?"
The girls nodded their agreement, eyes glued to the television. Crowley turned to Aziraphale, to find him stretched out across the sofa, blissfully asleep. He was glad they had told the girls when they had - the last month had left the angel with a definite bump that was visible under the blanket he had over him.
Crowley shuffled into the little space left where Aziraphale's knees were bent. The demon turned to his partner, smiling as he watched him sleep. There was just a moment before he shifted uncomfortably though. Crowley sighed, "C'mon Angel, you can't be that uncomfy already." He snaked his hand gently under the blanket and into his partner's shirt, gently covering the little bump, "Listen up you-" he squeaked in surprise. Aziraphale woke with a start, "Crowley, what is-"
"Damnit Aziraphale, I can feel the little bastard!"
"Language Crowley!" Aziraphale hissed. Crowley glanced to the twins, who were still engrossed in their show. Aziraphale's hands found his own, "But that makes two of us." The angel took a slow, deep breath, "They're a really active one."
"Is it meant to be this early?"
"It can be, as it's not my first. It's only about ten days earlier than the girls."
"But the force too... Got the Guardian strength obviously."
"Pfft." Aziraphale chuckled, "They just like to bounce." The angel stroked Crowley's knuckles a moment before sighing, "Sorry Crowley, I have to get up, I need to go to the bathroom..."

Chapter Text

The calm was not to last.
"No."
"It's an official summons, Crowley."
"You can't. You can't go."
"What about you?" Aziraphale stared at his partner crossly, his annoyance only slightly diminished by him placing a hand on his middle immediately after to quell the movement of 'Yoga baby' as the twins had dubbed it. Alice was still shy of putting her hands near it, but Ariel was insistent that she feel the kicking, every morning without fail. And kick it could!
"At least I'm only putting myself at risk." Crowley was saying.
"I'm well aware of how important both of us are." Aziraphale snapped, "But either way. It's a summons. We can't ignore it."
"Why can't they just hold it in Purgatory or something and speak to us together?" Crowley snarled, sitting down on the sofa and scratching his neck, "Why do we have to answer to them, alone, even now?"
Aziraphale didn't have an answer. He sat beside Crowley, "I'll admit it looks bad."
"That's an understatement."
"But we are still protected, and so are the girls."
"But, Puck." Crowley had taken to calling Aziraphale's mischievous passenger by the Shakespeare name after the Angel had commented on their high activity level and tendency to bleed mischief into his corporation. Aziraphale had rolled his eyes, "I have told you before, we are not calling them that." only for Crowley to laugh, "It's Puck or 'the baby' until it arrives. After that or until you come up with a better name, it's Puck."
Aziraphale hadn't come up with a better name. Yet.
"Is contained within me, and I am protected. I will wrap them up in my aura and nobody will harm them." The Angel replied.
"Angel..."
"Crowley, I for one am tired of never knowing If I'm going to answer the door to friends or ex colleagues. We should find out what they want. Not to go would only make things more difficult, for all of us, particularly now the girls are starting to produce noticeable miracles."
Crowley flew from the seat crossly, snarling at the ceiling, "Why can't you keep those bastards under control, eh? Love us do you? And yet we're still fighting this utter shit!"
He turned angrily to Aziraphale, who was wringing his hands, "Crowley, she can't make everything into sunshine and buttercups. Everybody gets tested eventually."
"Bollocks, Angel." Crowley snapped, "She's not even being scientific in her little study! She wants to see what our children become but she's absolutely fine throwing all manner of spanners in the works!"
"Please, Crowley." Aziraphale murmured, "She doesn't - she can't favour us. Part of the plan is knowing things will work out. Eventually."
"Meanwhile she's content to let you get stressed out while carrying this little experiment." Crowley cupped Aziraphale's cheeks in his hands, "I'm used to this shit, Angel, but she shouldn't be doing this to you. You've suffered enough."
"I am a servant of the lord, Crowley. I bear my sufferings, for they make the rest of existence far better." His voice wavered a little; he hoped Crowley hadn't heard it.
Crowley shook his head, "But you sssshoudn't have to." He kissed the angel's forehead, where the protective mark lay inside his corporeal form, "You don't dessserve this."
Aziraphale put his hands on top of Crowleys tenderly, "We'll need to call Anathema to get the girls picked up. And the school so they know who's getting them." He reached to wipe at Crowley's eyes, teary beneath his glasses, "We will be fine, dearest."

* * * *

They approached the escalators a couple of hours later with trepidation, each gripping the other's hand tightly.
"Stay safe, my dear." Aziraphale murmured, squeezing Crowley's hand. Crowley thought of them being watched from on high and down below, and swung the angel lightly to dip him in a kiss. Aziraphale didn't struggle, though he did grunt uncomfortably when Crowley lifted him back up, "Dear, you have to warn me when you do that, I need to prepare my back." He held on to his sides, leaning back a little to stretch. Crowley knelt to his middle, "And as for you, my mischievous little Puck. You show them the spirit of our side. They'll call you a bastard, but you're OUR bastard, and that makes you better than them, okay?"
"Crowley, you'll bring them up spoilt." Aziraphale chided. He kissed the demon's cheek gently, "I'll meet you back here."
"You had better, Angel."
Aziraphale felt strange, on the escalator after all this time. He hadn't visited heaven in years at this point. But that wasn't entirely why he felt odd. As he got close to the top he realised that the baby seemed to be near unbearably heavy within his aura; if he hadn't been strong even for an angel, it may have bothered him more. He wondered why this was so, as it obviously wasn't upsetting the child itself, still kicking and somersaulting as much as was normal at this time of the day.
When he reached the top he had to stop and take a few breaths. It was then he wondered whether it was the difference in the child's corporeal form as compared to himself which was causing the issue. It was a child who was, after all, half demon in it's make up, and entirely different as a living being. It didn't belong in heaven; It belonged on earth. Perhaps it was the pull back home that was bothering him so. He released his wings, easing the burden on his form and allowing them to take up some of the hard work.
He straightened, determined not to let on that he was having some difficulty, and moved to be signed in. The angel on the desk didn't even look at him, and he wasn't sure how he felt about that. He walked more calmly than he felt up the appropriate, once often trodden corridor. A few other angels stared at him. He wasn't sure if it was Puck or his wings that were causing the issue, but he wasn't willing to hide either of them.
He had to wait for the archangels to turn up to this meeting; Their usual display of how insignificant he was to them. He found himself a ledge to rest on, gazing through the window at all the impossible things reflected out there.
At length a group of three younger angels (probably from the pre-apocalypse batches, he thought) dared to approach him, "A-Aziraphale, is it? Sir?"
"Hello?" Aziraphale blinked at them, "Can I help you?"
"Sir! I thought it was you, with the wings, I'd heard stories-" The angel coughed, remembering themselves, "I heard that you do - things - Sir- like... things that humans do?" The flustered angel was a slender, genderless redhead with dark skin and large brown eyes, "I mean, if that's not a rude question, Sir."
"I can breed, if that's what you're talking about?" Aziraphale managed, a little confused as to why he was a topic of conversation.
"What's it like?" asked another youngster, a feminine faced one with dark hair and gold eyes which set off her blushing cheeks. She was embarrassed by her curiosity, Aziraphale realised, and he smiled kindly, perhaps recalling another curious, golden eyed being he knew, "Oh! Well." He leaned back a little more on his ledge, "I had to find the right dem - er - person, but I find it all rather... nice." He held out his hands, "Here, if you would let me, please, I'll introduce you." He took the hands of the two angels that had spoken, and lay them gently against his waist, where he knew there was a foot.
They squeaked, ruffling their feathers, "Oh!" A moment passed, then the redhead turned to their other friend, "Feel it! It's amazing! The child makes itself known!"
By the time the Archangels had shown up, Aziraphale had discarded his coat, and had his shirt unbuttoned up to his bust, letting all three of the youngsters touch the joyful baby, who was apparently feeling very into dancing today, responsive to all attention. Aziraphale answered questions, laughed along with the young angels, and generally felt like he must be planting seeds of dissent in heaven itself. He blushed at the thought.
Gabriel shuddered as he watched, "How he didn't fall, I have no idea." He muttered to Michael.
"Think of it as punishment." Michael replied, "He gets stuck on earth, living with a demonic snake and getting his energy sapped by creatures that are born not even knowing how to speak. Then he has to raise them, clean them, devote energy to them as humans do their pets."
"Doesn't look much of a punishment." Sandelphon remarked, "He's got that big, stupid grin all over his face."
"Exactly, how terrible." Michael mused, "A principality reduced to a Sideboard."
"I think they call it a Side show." Gabriel muttered, "He's a fool and a disgrace."
"I don't know Gabriel." Uriel remarked, "He seems to have frightened you off dealing with him."
"My options are limited, with the lord herself deciding its all fine with her." Gabriel retorted. With that he strode forward, "When you three have quite finished, I believe you should have been in basic training half an hour ago!"
The young angels panicked, and went on their way. Aziraphale took his time buttoning his shirt back up and sliding from the ledge, scooping his coat up with him before facing up to Gabriel.
"And you - Are you STILL pregnant?" Gabriel taunted, "It's been YEARS!"
"My daughters were born some time ago, Gabriel, as you well know." Aziraphale managed, "I am sure you are aware God saw fit to bless my union with Crowley again."
Gabriel waved a hand dismissively, "Having fun with a runaway Principality and his desire to go native and breed with his own hereditary enemy. It's a new one on me, but I don't question the plan."
Aziraphale patted his middle gently, feeling his anxiety rising, "Settle down darling. I need my wits right now." he murmured.
The conference room was, like everywhere in heaven, dull and plain. Lifeless. Aziraphale knew he should take the seat at the end of the table, and be addressed like the subordinate he was, but a little spark of mischief was brewing in his chest now it seemed. He threw himself bodily into a chair next to Gabriel, with a smile, "It's been a while."
Gabriel leaned away from the offensive underling as if this pregnancy lark was catching. The other Archangels noticed, with barely disguised amusement. Thus it was Gabriel, uncomfortable sitting beside him, who started the meeting, "Principality Aziraphale, you are aware of the last meeting we had along with your mate's line manager Beelzebub, lord of the flies."
"I remember."
"There have been developments since that time, including several more disgusting acts that have lead you to produce a third atrocity to your angelic heritage."
Aziraphale felt his hand rest on his middle, stroking gently. He knew this was where the desire to smile mischievously was coming from - this baby's Grace was definitely more naughty than the girls - and there was only so much effort he could currently put into fighting it. The corner of his mouth twitched.
"As yet." Michael was saying now, "We have no definite data on your first and second issues, but there is suspicion that they are starting to draw on either Ethereal or Occult power, or both. In this case it has been decided your breeding cannot go unchecked."
Aziraphale froze, his stomach twisting in panic. He felt like being sick. Right here at heaven's own meeting table. It would have served them right, "What are you implying?"
"We are, as you are aware, unable to deal with your spawn." Aziraphale tried to work out if Sandelphon was referring to his children as spawn because he didn't know what snakes produced or because he just didn't know what children were called anymore, "As a matter of fact, we have already investigated the aura of the one you foolishly brought with you, and found the same to be the case."
"Oh?" This was news to Aziraphale.
"Something in your own self has marked them." Gabriel explained, "The almighty obviously foresaw your desire to breed like a March hare and indulged you when she marked you."
"A rabbit." Aziraphale corrected with a smirk.
"Whatever." Gabriel snapped, "Listen, we didn't ever want to see you again after you should have fallen. Don't think we want to be here explaining things to the likes of you. Just shut up, wipe that ridiculous smirk off your face and let Uriel explain."
"I'm starting to think you were not a good choice of Uncle, Gabriel." Aziraphale pinched the skin of his bump gently, (All the while thinking please stop it, I'm not ready for this level of mischief...)
Gabriel's eyes lit with rage, and he stood from the table. For a minute Aziraphale thought he might strike him, but the Archangel merely started to pace, stalking around the room. A moment later, Uriel spoke, "You will be allowed to continue in your activities, as it seems it is deemed part of the Ineffable plan." She tilted her head, "But there are conditions. You, your... demon, and your halflings are to submit for examination at least once an earth year."
"I won't let you touch my children." Aziraphale snapped, suddenly all business.
"The examination will take place at your abode." Uriel stated, "As the effort involved in bringing earthly bodies to heaven is certainly not something anybody here wishes to assist with."
"Now see here-"
"A member of heaven and a member of hell will both be present for all examinations." Uriel continued, "That is all."
"And if we don't submit?" Aziraphale managed. Even the baby's mischief had left him now, and he felt his legs turning to jelly.
"This is an order, Principality." Uriel replied, smacking the desk with her hand, "It is not enforceable by conventional means, but it is nonetheless essential to find clues about exactly what the ineffable plan is now."
"A direct refusal is a refusal against Heaven itself." Michael finally spoke again, "For that we can petition for your fall."
Aziraphale blinked, "Fall from what, exactly?" He leaned forward, letting his wings fall open wider, catching the light and reflecting rainbows about the room, "As far as I was aware, I am no longer an Angel to be felled."
There was an uncertain silence. Then Gabriel seized him by the collar and marched him outside. Aziraphale struggled, beating his wings against his superior until Gabriel pushed him against the wall to stop them. The Archangel stared at him long and hard, as if he was going to yell at him. Then he shook his head, "You should leave."
"You summoned me here!" Aziraphale managed.
"I have never known a more irritating Angel in my entire existence." Gabriel mused, "You were barely above a demon yourself before the Antichrist, and you come here and flaunt that half breed - and your abominable wings - as if this is all a game to you!" He let go, and Aziraphale had to struggle not to drop like a stone to the floor.
"You have no idea what you've started."
"I beg your pardon Gabriel, but maybe you should look in the mirror and speak those words."
Gabriel rounded on Aziraphale again, grabbing his collar, but just shook his head, "You have no idea. Absolutely no idea."
A realisation dawned on the angel, "Neither do you. You're just lashing out at me because my family is the only clue you have as to her plans." He paused, panting with the effort of remaining upright, "And you're... scared."
Gabriel's mouth set into a hard line on his face as he let go.
"What you ought to be doing." Aziraphale managed as he began to make his slow way back towards the door to the elevators, "Is turning up and asking if we feel up to helping you all." His hand paused on the handle, "And m-maybe we don't even have the answers."
The angel at the signing in desk shot him a glance as he signed out. Aziraphale wondered if that was fear or disgust. A Principality who had not only talked back, not only thwarted plans, but outright told Archangels to beg him for answers!
He shook as he stepped onto the downward escalator, a mixture of exhaustion and anxiety causing him to faint clean away, falling forwards as the heaviness started to lift from his body and soul.

Chapter Text

Aziraphale hadn't expected to wake still at the top of the escalator. Then again he hadn't expected to pass out. There was muttering in the background, but he was looking right up at Michael. The Archangel's clothes were flecked with blood.

"Ah, you're awake."

"Awake?"

"You really are a silly little angel, Principality Aziraphale." Michael gestured to somebody, "Where is that water?"

Aziraphale weakly moved to sit up, "What- how long was I-"

"Not long, though you fell with enough force to gash your head." Michael was unimpressed, "You would go getting yourself excited when your form was already under stress."

Aziraphale's hands found his middle. Not that he needed to, he knew the baby was fine and still beating him up from the inside, but it was an extra check he needed right now. He exhaled.

"You could have asked. Instead of ordering." He said shakily.

"You are not known for your receptiveness these days, Aziraphale."

"You did try to kill me. And Crowley. And to make me fall with my children."

"In the past."

"Forgive my having a long memory." Aziraphale replied, "But does it really take that much effort for someone to ask nicely?"

He sighed as Michael offered him the water.

"Nice isn't part of a war council." she told him, "You know that as well as I."

"You aren't at war with anyone though." Aziraphale replied, "You're all angels."

"Again you exclude yourself."

"You know I'm not an angel. Not really, not any more."

"Maybe not to your standards." Michael replied, "But you are the closest we have. A mere Principality, blessed by the Lord herself to be an instigator in the continued plan, the third era of history. What are your children? What role do they have? It has certainly stirred the pigeons."

Aziraphale decided not to correct Michael on this one.

"And after all, if you were not an angel, you would not be able to be here."

"Close enough to pass." Aziraphale murmured, "But not close enough to them to understand what my children are."

He had finished the water. The cup disappeared. He struggled to his feet, "Crowley will be worried, I must go."

"We will visit shortly." Michael said.

"I will discuss this with Crowley." Aziraphale countered, "I will make no decision until we've spoken." He stood at the top of the escalator, breathing deeply before stepping down again, holding the sides tightly. It wasn't until he was metres from the bottom that he saw Crowley's face, his expression wide eyed and distraught, and wondered how long he'd been out, and how bad his head actually looked.

* * * *

"Crowley, there's more important things at stake than-"

"Bollocks Angel, who lets a pregnant person fall on an escalator and doesn't offer to clean them up?!" Crowley removed the damp cloth and checked the wound, "At least its not deep, and it's already stopped bleeding. You might need a quick miracle to get it out of your hair though."

"Thank you dear." Aziraphale nodded, "I don't feel too badly hurt." He exhaled, "It was an honest accident."

"What, did you trip over your own feet or did one of them trip you?"

"Crowley, do be quiet a moment!" Aziraphale managed, "Just because it doesn't hurt doesn't mean I'm not getting a headache." He sighed, "Our children are earthbound beings. It was... difficult to be up there. I may have been running emotionally high from the meeting, and I just... passed out."

"Just like that?"

"Well. I made a mess of their escalator anyway." He chuckled, "And Michael's robe."

Crowley gazed impassively at him as he giggled, "Who knows, our blood may not wash out as easily as they think!"

The Demon smiled weakly, reaching to stroke his cheek, "Angel, I thought for sure you weren't coming back to me."

Aziraphale's smile faded, "I couldn't exactly help it, Crowley." He swallowed, "Was your meeting... about the children?"

Crowley nodded, "Beez suggested somebody stopped by for Beer and a catch up."

"Once a year?"

"Mmhm."

"Uriel said we were to submit to a check up."

"You didn't agree..?"

"I most certainly didn't, Crowley, what do you take me for?" Aziraphale blinked incredulously, "But I said we would discuss whether we wished to help them."

"Angel..." the demon growled.

"Crowley." Aziraphale glanced over at him, "Now Armageddon didn't happen, nobody knows what will. Our children are something different - and I don't know what - and I'm afraid for them. Afraid of what we - what Gabriel started. What sort of future they're going to have."

"What happened to faith in the ineffable plan, Angel?"

"I... Crowley, please, promise you won't give me that look."

"Look, Angel?"

"Yes, the look you always give me when I say something that shocks you."

"You haven't shocked me yet. Maybe surprised me, but..."

Aziraphale reached to hold Crowley's hand, squeezing tightly and swallowing before he spoke, "Crowley I think... maybe I want the children to be safe... more than I care for the ineffable plan."

Crowley didn't reply. Aziraphale raised his eyebrows, still staring forwards, "You ARE looking at me like that."

"No, no no I'm not, Angel." Crowley lied, "But I... Angel that's nothing shameful." He leaned over the handbrake, nearly bumping noses with his partner, "Angel... Angel, that is wonderful."

"Crowley-" Aziraphale blinked, "Surely, as an angel..." He paused, biting his lip.

"As you said, you're not exactly an angel anymore." Crowley replied, "And even if you were. God told you she made you to love. And what you just said proves - proves you're very good at it." He swiped under his glasses, running his fingers over his eyes, "Ngk - Angel - I knew that you loved them but I just didn't - didn't expect to ever hear..."

"Dear, please." Aziraphale reached over now, stroking Crowley's arm, kissing at his tears, "Please, I, I didn't mean..." He paused, "I know what it must sound like."

"We both had old behaviour to flush, Angel." Crowley managed, "Mine went firrsst - the dessstructive, the angry behaviour. Replaced with glimmers of what I was... love, care... But I've often been too fast for you."

"I caught up." Aziraphale realised, "Again."

"We are not an Angel or a Demon." Crowley managed, "Not anymore. We're us. Whatever we are."

Aziraphale kissed his cheek tenderly, "Our own side, our own thing. I wouldn't change a thing, Crowley."

"Me either." Crowley managed, his voice cracking as he gazed at his partner's eyes, "Except... A-Angel..."

"Except?"

"It... really worried me. When you didn't come back. Then when you did come, I just wanted to stick another finger in their eyes. Make you safe in another way. I was thinking about asking this for a while but I just.. W-Would you..."

There was a pause. Crowley sucked in a lungful of air. Aziraphale sat back in his chair, "Dear?"

"...Ngk." Crowley hissed, "It-doesssn't matter."

"Crowley, it must matter to you, you're hissing again. And - for our safety? What did you want to ask?"

Crowley removed his glasses properly. In the darkness, the Bentley lit from a streetlamp some metres away, his eyes gleamed. He turned his head towards Aziraphale.

"Marry me, Angel?"

Chapter Text

"I don't understand." Aziraphale frowned.
"What is there to understand?" Crowley managed, wilting a little inside.
"I mean, of course if you want to I would be happy to, but I just." Aziraphale gazed at him, "A ceremony? You never struck me as the type to make things legal. Mere months ago you were hailing divorce as a blessing."
"In Jest, Angel!" Crowley managed, trying again, "D-Don't you want someone to say a few a words? Unbastardise our children? Show those upstairs we're not going to go away?"
"Crowley, my Dear, we were joined by the hand of God herself, exactly how much more ceremony do you need? There is no higher power to call upon." Aziraphale's eyes widened and he stared at his shoes, "Unless you mean a Lower power."
"No." Crowley shook his head, "No powers that be. As you said - as far as she's concerned we're fine. Just. A few words. And rings. Poke heaven in their prying eyes with a stick. With friends and - and -"
"Friends, family, and cake?" Aziraphale asked pointedly.
"Angel..." Crowley managed, "I'm serious."
"So am I." Aziraphale replied, "I would love to marry you, Crowley. Of course I will."
"Not too fast for you?" Crowley worried.
"Crowley." Aziraphale laughed, "We have nearly three children together! Which means on this occasion that I may have been too fast for you!"
There was a moments silence, while the two gazed at each other, basking in a warm, loving glow.
"Bollocks." Crowley managed suddenly.
"Whatever is it?" Aziraphale asked.
"I should have got you a ring. Miracled or otherwise."
"I have a ring." Aziraphale removed his signet ring and handed it to him, "We can choose our own later. Together."
"That sounds like a job for a weekend break." Crowley replied, fitting Aziraphale's ring miraculously onto the appropriate finger of the angel's left hand. The demon kissed it before he let go of the hand, Aziraphale bringing it to his own lips to repeat the action. Suddenly he squeaked.
"Angel?"
"Puck got my kidney." Aziraphale moaned. Crowley chuckled, "So you agree with me then?"
"Crowley, this baby will never be named Puck."
"Only nicknamed." Crowley laughed, and started the engine, "Lets get home. We can tell Anathema the good news."
Aziraphale chuckled. As the Bentley started to move Crowley suddenly grinned, "Besides, Angel. God didn't join us."
"Hm?"
"We did all the joining."
"Crowley, really!"
"Unless you felt her eminence thrust upon you on your kitchen floor, that is..."

* * * *

It had been late when they got home, and Anathema had fallen asleep on the sofa after putting the girls to bed. So it was morning when Crowley awoke her with a coffee, "Thanks for yesterday."
"Mm. You owe me one." She wrapped her hands around the mug, "How did it go?"
"Nobody knows what the ineffable plan is anymore, and everybody wants to see if they can get any clues from the children." Crowley replied, "And the bastards upstairs let Aziraphale trip up and cut his head."
"Oh, is he alright?"
"He's fine, even argued with me when I proposed to him."
"Oh well..." Anathema glanced up, "You proposed?"
"Why is everybody questioning me?" Crowley managed, "Even he did."
"Well, not like you can have a church wedding." the witch replied, "And you both seemed... happy. As you were?"
"Just muddying the waters of our grey area for the powers that be." Crowley chuckled, "But it seemed like the sort of thing he would like, being proposed to."
"And did he?"
"He seems chipper this morning. Though that might just be Puck."
"Puck?"
"Mm, baby seems a bit of a mischief maker." Crowley paused, "All the heightened emotions he's getting - he didn't get anything like this bad last time. And it's all either dizzy excitement, joy or sadness. Willing to bet it's to do with Puck."
"Logical."
"And then there's the girls."
"Mm?"
"Alice is almost scared of Puck. Not so much now, but when we told her she got very upset and doesn't know why. Ariel on the other hand absolutely loves them."
"Aziraphale's aura is quite active of late." The witch agreed, "Could have scared her at first. So how is he doing? In himself?"
"He's doing really well." Crowley replied, "Falling over aside. No signs of going early, either. His mood swings are the worst part though. Mostly the crying. I had to hide his Oscar Wilde. Then he cried at me for hiding them."
Anathema chuckled into her cup, "Poor Aziraphale."
"Can't wait for him to hit the wild realisations. They hit him hard last time. He's an angel, or sort of anyway, he feels emotions, especially positive, much harder than I do, and he has to contain the little bastard in his body, so he's subject to anything it feels."
"Crowley?" Aziraphale called suddenly, "Where is my complete works of Shakespeare?"
"You didn't." Anathema frowned.
"As if I'd take Bill from him too." Crowley slipped a hand behind the seat cushion and removed a thick book, "In here angel... Wondered what I was sitting on."
Aziraphale hummed appreciatively as he ambled in wearing his dressing gown, hair still wet from the shower, and took his book back, "Oh, good morning Anathema." He beamed.
"Morning Aziraphale. You look well. The long hair suits you."
"Suits him even more when he lets me brush and braid it." Crowley chuckled.
"I needed my book first." Aziraphale pouted.
"Well, if you're going to do that, I'll get on my way, if it's all the same." Anathema chuckled and finished her drink before standing, "Oh, and congratulations."
"I didn't tell you he said yes!" Crowley shouted.
"No need." Anathema replied, "I have eyes." she patted Aziraphale's hand, "Let us know when."
"Of course Dear!" Aziraphale beamed.
"Come on then, you." Crowley said, brandishing a brush, "Get down here and be pampered."
Aziraphale sat sideways on the sofa, so Crowley could get to his hair, "Ariel seems to be moulting again dear, might be time to have the preening talk with them."
"And you want me to?"
"You're always so gentle with mine."
Crowley chuckled, "How about you be my demonstration? You must have a few loose by now."
Aziraphale's shoulders wiggled involuntarily. He loved the contact, having his wings free and preened.
"How long do you think until they'll be flying?" He asked.
"A few more years." Crowley replied, "We really have to get them to keep them out more around the house, stretch them and work the muscles to make sure they don't atrophy in this world."
"I don't think there's any risk of that." Aziraphale chuckled, "They were playing rounders with them when I walked in!"
Crowley hissed, "Yeah, you're right, they need a lesson in wing health." He bit his lip, "Nobody should ever ward off a rounders ball with their wings." He felt his own wings, distant as they were, ruffling uncomfortably at the thought.
There was a moments quiet before Aziraphale asked, "So... when are we... getting married?"
"I guess soon." Crowley replied, "How about the summer holidays? We could take the girls away somewhere nice."
"I'm not sure, Crowley." Aziraphale said, a hand noticeably moving to his middle. Crowley snorted, "We have 2 other kids angel, nobody's going to look at you and think shotgun wedding."
"No!" Aziraphale squeaked, "I mean, that's not why I..." He paused, "Summer will likely have good weather, but after the girls were so early I have... visions of giving birth in a wedding dress." He blushed slightly, "That would ruin a good day..."
"Well I don't want to wait 'till autumn, all the kids will be at school."
"So there's half term..."
"Or Easter."
"I'm not sure I could do Easter, Crowley. It's so soon! And not with our memories of..."
"True." Crowley nodded, "Easter is a 2 week holiday though. Could get all the guests together easily."
"...I'll put it on the maybe pile. Still too soon for my liking though. But summer half term, when is that?"
"Ah!"
"Hm?"
"2 bank holidays in May too. Either of those the kids would also be off, and half term near the end of the month..."
"May, not too close to the girls birthday either." Aziraphale nodded, "Looking hopeful."
"Good flowers in the garden in May, too." Crowley nodded.
Aziraphale's shoulders wiggled, "Crowley, this is actually more exciting than I expected."
"You sure it's not just that hyper excitable baby of yours?" Crowley teased. Aziraphale turned his head and beamed at him, and that was when Crowley decided maybe it didn't matter who the enthusiasm was from. He planted a kiss on the angel's damp hair before reaching for the hairbands, "Hold still and read now, Angel."

Chapter Text

They were back in London that weekend, the twins in tow. The girls bounced on their parents hotel bed as Crowley ran down a list of places to visit.
"That seems like an awful lot, just for clothes and rings."
"I remember trying to buy you maternity clothes, Angel." Crowley chuckled.
"Well... I wasn't quite the right fit for the traditional ones." His partner replied.
"When are we telling them?" Crowley whispered, watching a flood of little feathers fly in the air as Ariel landed with a thud on her back. He'd have to have that grooming conversation soon. And tidy up before they left.
"I thought if we just say it's a party, until we're done." Aziraphale replied, "I... don't fancy looking like an unmarried mother in some of those shops."
"It's never bothered you before."
"I've never looked so much like one before." the angel replied, "I just would rather not have the hassle, after last week."
"Alright. But let me know if you start feeling faint." Crowley worried, "I don't know why it happened and you obviously aren't able to tell me, but I don't want to have to hang on to two errant girls and you if you collapse on the tube during rush hour."
"I'd definitely rather not do that." Aziraphale replied.
"Good. In which case. Girls? We're going out for breakfast. Somewhere special. Where your dad and I hung out before you arrived."

*

"Mr. Crowley!" The owner smiled as she helped the waitress bring their order, "These must be the little ones - Hello there!"
"Hello." The girls giggled. Ariel immediately buried her face in her milkshake as it was handed to her, while Alice stopped to say 'thank you' before following her sister.
"Girls." Aziraphale sighed, "Manners, please."
"Please don't worry about it." The owner chuckled, "I have nieces myself, I quite understand."
They had left them to it before the Angel pondered, "I could have said something about the wallpaper."
"Ah, let it be Angel." Crowley snorted, "Hey girls, what's a good colour party dress for your dad?"
"Not white." Aziraphale added. Crowley raised an eyebrow.
"Not exactly pure." The angel added. Crowley chuckled, "You can't blame me for that, Angel. You've been revolving around the edges of sin as long as I've known you."
"Oh really, Crowley." The Angel waved a fork at him, a chunk of crepe on the end of it, "Maybe therein lies the clue. As long as you've known me."
"I suppose there wasn't much opportunity for it in the homeland, eh." Crowley replied, "Girls. Colours for your dad's dress."
"Silver." Alice said around a mouthful of chocolate crepe.
"No. Blue. 'n Cream." Ariel said as she used her sleeve to wipe banana flavoured froth from her mouth, "Like Daddy."
Crowley raised an eyebrow, gazing at the angel appreciatively, "Goes with your hair and eyes I suppose."
"Providing my eyes are having a blue day, maybe."
"No dada." Ariel said, "Like NAVY blue. Sets off the cream."
Aziraphale tilted his head, "She even knows how to talk about art."
"We'll have to see what we can find you then, won't we?" Crowley grinned, "You'll have to match, girls."
"I'm sure I have some ribbon they can have somewhere, too." Aziraphale murmured. Crowley snapped his attention back to him, "Not that Tartan - Angel, It's so old fashioned."
"It's important." Aziraphale insisted.
"Okay." Crowley relented, "But only on them - none on us."
Aziraphale rewarded him with a bright eyed smile, "Of course dear."
"And no sequins, Angel, this isn't strictly."
"What's a strictly?"
"Honestly, after all this time you could show a little interest in my work."

*

Their outfits were easier to choose than Crowley had imagined. Ariel's choice of colours they found in the second shop, cream dresses for the girls with silk blue sashes at the waist, and a cream dress for Aziraphale, thick strap sleeved with delicate dark blue embroidery at the hems. It was loose and flowing enough to cope with the bump, and the girls spent most of the time while Crowley was being sorted out twirling their angelic father around to marvel at how the light layers of silken fabric moved.
Crowley caught sight of them in the mirror as he straightened his jacket. He had decided on a black suit with a white shirt, though as this was a nearly casual event, he refused a tie. He strode out and struck a pose, raising an eyebrow above his sunglasses for effect.
"Very handsome my dear." Aziraphale had said, "But try this as well."
"Angel, it's going to be warm..." He gazed at the Navy waistcoat, then at the angel's face.
"Just try it?"
"Seems a lot of fuss but..." He went back to the changing rooms, returning a moment later, "I don't know."
"Sir looks very smart apart from the lack of tie." Offered the assistant, a little swept off his feet by the energy of the twins and the energy their 'mother' was displaying in keeping up with them.
Crowley pulled a face. Then Aziraphale appeared beside him. He opened the buttons on the waistcoat and laid it against the fabric he wore, then met his partner's eyes, "Match."
"Go on, alright." Crowley sighed, "Being as how you're not having tartan."
Aziraphale smirked and dropped his gaze, "I think we will all look rather delightful."
Attire bought and packaged into the Bentley, they made their way to the first of Crowley's listed jewellers. The girls were getting a little irritable now they couldn't really be included, and Aziraphale was getting tired, so after that was a no they went out for some lunch.
"It was a lot to drag you all around in a day." Crowley mused moodily.
"Nonsense dear, it's only lunchtime, and we only need the rings." Aziraphale sipped his tea, his legs raised on the support bar under the table and a hand resting on his middle. Crowley had reached under the table to gently massage at the angel's ankles. The twins were in plain sight in the corner of the room, playing in the kids corner with other children. Aziraphale marvelled for a moment, "They get on so well with human children. I'm pleased - I suppose..."
"Suppose?"
"Well. Presumably the girls will be as resilient to the years as we are?"
"I see what you mean." Crowley replied, "They won't be able to have a normal life with the humans they get on so well with."
"All the humans we've known..." Aziraphale sighed, "The ones we were friends with... The ones we are friends with."
Crowley patted his hand, "You're not going to cry about Wilde again, are you Angel?"
"Aziraphale shook his head and finished his food, "No, dear. Not today."
"Did you want to go back to the hotel and try again tomorrow?"
"Oh no Dear, we promised the girls St. James'..."
The third shop after lunch was the one. Alice squealed as soon as they stepped inside, "That one Daddy!"
"That's a pendant, Li." Crowley interjected.
"We're after rings, dear." Aziraphale told her gently.
"Pendant is prettier." Alice told them.
"The young lady knows pretty when she sees it." Chuckled the shop owner, "And her sister?"
Ariel was already off at a glass cabinet, marvelling at the prettily coloured gemstones, "Li! Li this one is our eyes!"
"Sapphire." Alice read on the card, "Hey it is! Daddy this one is our eyes!"
"So it is, dear." Aziraphale smiled, "Very pretty, dual colour."
"Be good while we have a look at the rings, girls." Crowley told them, "We should think about going back to the hotel after this I think, Angel." He added.
"Yes, well I won't argue with you." Aziraphale smiled. Being on his feet for so long today had started to take it's toll, and he was no longer in the mood to argue.
They spoke with the shop owner for ten minutes, being shown various rings, before Aziraphale pointed out a plain gold one which had a simple twist at the front, the symbol of eternity. The sides of the twist were shaped delicately, and he noted aloud he almost fancied they were like wings.
Crowley raised his eyebrows, "They could be more like wings..."
Aziraphale chuckled. Through some miracle they had a pair of these that had never been picked up, just the right sizes. Aziraphale smiled when he noticed the new, tiny silver inlay, like feathers on the wings.
"When are you getting married?" came a small voice suddenly. Both of them turned to Ariel, before exchanging a glance.
"Dear, we were going to tell you later..." Aziraphale managed, feeling caught out. Crowley chuckled, "Smartie."
"Rings and pretty clothes mean wedding, right?" Alice joined her sister, "What about cake?"
The shop owner chuckled, "Got some explaining to do I see."
Aziraphale blushed.
"Oh, don't worry, everybody's doing it these days. I blame the economy. Nobody can afford to get married before they have kids."

*

The rest of the weekend was far less fraught. They spent time on the Sunday feeding the ducks as they had used to, the girls climbing fences and trees before Crowley had to call them away from the geese. Aziraphale soaked up the sunshine and daydreamed.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Crowley said at length.
"Six years ago we were sitting here when we..." Aziraphale held out his hand. Crowley smiled, and took it gently, "...played the jape of the century."
Crowley heard his own voice chuckle, and began to smile widely, "Oh, this one is a wild one, Aziraphale. Guardian strength and everything."
"I'll have them back if you like."
"Nah. You've had to carry them all weekend. I'll have them for a bit."
His eyes focussed on his own body, sat up straight beside him, "Do wish your back would sort itself though."
"It's because you slouch, dear."
"If you say so. We should be heading for home, school in the morning."
"I do wonder if the girls will notice?"
"They will when their pregnant 'mother' gets in the driver's seat."

Chapter Text

Aziraphale inhaled sharply at a kick right to his diaphragm. He had been getting out of the Bentley, but he had to pause a moment after that, puffing a little to fill his lungs properly again. Then he felt a warm hand touch his middle, and opened an eye to see Alice. She glared at the bump, "Don't hurt daddy, Puck. He's doing his best."
The look on her face reminded Aziraphale of one of her father's rages, and he patted her hand gently, "You needn't be so hard on them, Alice dear. They don't know any better."
"Daddy, the cake?!" Ariel was squealing, trying to open the boot. Aziraphale chuckled, "Let your father see to the cake. We have to get changed."
"But Daddy..." Crowley smirked as the angel herded the twins ahead of him. He opened the boot and removed the square box gently, resting it on the Bentley's roof to shut the car. He walked carefully into the house, happy that Aziraphale had at least thought to leave the door open for him. The cake was large and so fairly heavy, and he walked it into the kitchen and slid the box onto the worktop before Harriet turned, "Oh, you're back!" She gazed at him expectantly. Crowley grinned, "Nobody gets to see it yet." He opened the pantry door and moved to shift it into the cooler room. The day was warm and bright, and it wouldn't do for the buttercream to melt. Aziraphale would never forgive him!
"You have some guests already." Harriet was saying as the demon closed the pantry door, "I sent them through to the living room."
Crowley nodded, "I suppose I will show my face. As I won't be able to get near the shower anyway yet."
There was a shriek of merriment from upstairs, and Warlock yelled, "Hey Ri, you have to clean that up if you're going to throw it!"
Thundering footsteps and giggles made their way to the twins room. Aziraphale called them, "Girls, Warlock is a guest, remember your manners."
"Sorry Daddy!" Alice called, "We forgot!"
"Darling even your father remembers his underwear."
Crowley snorted, calling, "Are you sure about that, Angel?"
"Warlock!" Harriet called, "Get down here and help me with the food - you're winding them up and their parents don't need that today."
The teenager slouched his way down the stairs a minute later, "When are Adam and the others arriving?"
"Soon." Crowley promised, patting the lad's shoulder, "Help your mother, Warlock dear."
The lad snorted, but followed his mother into the kitchen.
"And wash your hands before you touch any food!" Crowley yelled after him, pondering the grubbiness of teenagers. This done, he finally wandered into the living room, "Sorry about all that-" He paused at the sight of the two figures standing there as if their sofa had bedbugs, "What the --- actual wherever are you two doing here?"
Gabriel rolled his eyes as if this wasn't even his idea, "Congratulating our colleagues on getting married?"
"Crowley, what is it..." Aziraphale was at his shoulder, "Oh. Good morning." His hands bunched the fabric of the dress, bringing attention to his middle. Gabriel couldn't help but stare, pulling a face as though he were fighting nausea. Beelzebub simply raised an eyebrow, "All weddingzzz, except those with shotgunzz apparent, are beautiful."
Crowley bristled. He heard Aziraphale snort though, "And where did you hear that? The first issue of the Infernal Times?"
The other three beings in the room froze in a stunned silence as the angel continued, "Times are changing, and organised religion is only losing it's grip as it fails to change alongside it." He unconsciously stroked his middle, "Maybe you should instead say, All marriage is beautiful, except when there is an absence of love."
"Steady on, Angel." Crowley managed weakly.
"Well, they started it, Dear." Aziraphale replied, before moving to a drawer and removing a spool of ribbon and a pair of scissors.
"Angel you promised..." Crowley moaned.
"For the girls, dear." The angel replied sweetly, kissing his cheek deliberately as he left the room. Crowley didn't meet Beelzebub's eyes.
"Ahem." Gabriel broke the uneasy silence, "So we can't extend the congratulations of home?"
Crowley finally found his tongue, "Well, nobody asked you here. And you did tell my Angel you were going to check up on us, without making it clear how invasssive you were going to be." He hissed.

*

About half an hour later, Aziraphale finally herded the twins back downstairs, sending Crowley up to get ready as he did, "Stay in the living room with me, girls."
"Daddy, I wanna play with Warlock." Ariel complained.
"Later, I promise." Aziraphale smiled, "You just have to keep yourselves tidy until after the ceremony." He made himself comfortable on the sofa, "Girls, have you met Archangel Gabriel, and Prince of Hell Beelzebub?"
"Oh WOW, your hat!" Ariel squealed, running to Beelzebub excitedly, "You got a giant fly on your head!"
"Very Obzzervant." The prince replied.
"Can I try it?"
"Ariel, please don't bother the Prince." Aziraphale beckoned her over, "Your sibling's awake."
Alice was staring intently at Gabriel, "I never met anybody with purple eyes. My dad's eyes are yellow. And sometimes red. If he has a hangover. Do you have a hangover?"
"Alice." Aziraphale patted the seat on the other side of him. The girl narrowed her eyes at Gabriel before bouncing onto the sofa and joining her sister, little hands questing over the angel's middle until Ariel squeaked, "Found you!"
Aziraphale pulled his dress a little, so it was close against his skin. The twins watched whichever limb Ariel had found as it moved right across, towards Alice. She poked it. Aziraphale giggled, "They must be as ticklish as you two."
"No Daddy!" The twins chorused as the angel poked at their sides in return. He finally met Gabriel's eye, taking in his slightly horrified expression. Beelzebub by contrast looked interested, narrowing their eyes intently when Ariel caught hold of another limb and began to giggle, "You had best be a brother, grumpy Puck!"
"What did she just say?" Anathema had appeared at the door, "Oh, we're not too early then-"
Gabriel suddenly turned and swept past the witch, out of the cottage. Aziraphale blinked, "Oh dear."
"He izz very wound up today." Beelzebub chuckled.
"He is. Perhaps I had better have a word." Aziraphale nodded. He handed Anathema the ribbon he still hadn't sorted out yet, "Would you do the honours?" He left without waiting for an answer. As soon as he got outside, he heard the telltale voices of the Them, and panicked.
"Oi Gabriel!" One of the boys was shouting, "Where's ya horn?!"
"Children." the angel called, "Would you mind awfully not taunting my supervisor? Only he can be quite dangerous and I would rather like to see you all at my wedding." He had moved between the teenagers and Gabriel without thinking.
"Yeah, alright." Adam shrugged, "Come on, Dog. Hey Mr. Fell, your dress is nice."
"Thank you Adam. Please go inside now, Warlock is already here. Don't let the twins out of the living room."
The angel let out a sigh as the youngsters went into the house. He turned to Gabriel nervously, "Teenagers."
The Archangel's face was thunderous, "You are as bad as all these creatures you go out of your way to live around, Aziraphale."
"So you keep telling me, Gabriel." His face creased a little at another particularly sharp kick. Whatever way the baby was lying, it had been doing this all morning. Gabriel shuddered, "What on Earth made you do this again? It looks like an infestation, it's disgusting."
Aziraphale wondered if he could do something to ease his superior's disgust, "Well... she said I should consider more. She told me, Gabriel. And I... I enjoyed it last time-" Okay, that was the wrong thing to say, he realised, knowing that the twins were meant to be his punishment and fall. He shook his head, "It is an experience that shouldn't be ignored."
The little fire of mischief was back, and without thinking he had grabbed the Archangel's wrist and pressed the attached hand to his middle, "How on earth could you hate something, Gabriel, that can love this strongly?"
For a moment Gabriel's expression was blank, verging on the edge of curiosity. Aziraphale knew he could feel the emotional state of the youngster, mischief and joy and potential all rolled into one. Then the little bastard kicked, hard, and the Archangel's sneer returned, "Don't touch me Aziraphale, nothing gives you that right." A moment later Aziraphale was alone on the grass. He clutched his middle gently, inhaling to calm his heart rate, "Please don't do that to me, Puck."
As he walked back to the house, noting Mr and Mrs Young talking to Newt over by Dick Turpin, there was a sigh.
"I simply must apologise on behalf of my brother."
Aziraphale blinked. Leaning against the side of the house was a familiar figure. He paused, "Michael?"
"I sent him with our well wishes, but he threw a tantrum, as I feared he might." She shook her head, "How are you, Aziraphale? That was quite a bold move just then."
"I am... as well as can be expected." The angel replied. He paused a moment before she raised an eyebrow at him, "And?"
"Michael, why are there more angels at my wedding than there would be even if I were still one?"
The Archangel smiled. It wasn't a completely happy smile, but there was no malice there.
"You're marrying an ex demon, Aziraphale." She chuckled, "Somebody had to make sure this was all above board, after all, you were not likely to ask a priest to do the service."
"We asked a close friend to officiate. Being as how we know the Lord blessed our union already."
Michael waved a hand, "I'm not here to interfere. Just to watch. And perhaps see why Gabriel is in such a state about these issues you keep raising."
Aziraphale blinked, "My children, Archangel."
At that moment Ariel leapt out of the doorway, skidding to a halt in the dust, "No-one can hold me I'm free!"
"Ariel!" Aziraphale cried, "You're supposed to be being neat and tidy until after the photos."
"Oops." The girl replied, "Daddy where'd hangover man go?"
Michael chuckled, "Such spirit. Where is your shyness, Aziraphale?"
"She has that, too." He replied, "But she's amoungst friends, and has had too many sweets this morning."

"Warlock brought skittles." The girl told Michael, "They've got yoghurt on them. They'mazing." She paused, eyes widening, "You have a shiny mouth!"

Aziraphale held the girl to his hip, but she was fascinated with Michael's gold lipstick and flecks.

"An' like scales like Daddy!"

"Not scales, dear." Aziraphale told her.

"SHINY!" Ariel beamed brightly. Michael managed a polite smile.

"Yes. Well." Aziraphale sighed, "Perhaps we should all go in. I am in need of a cup of tea."

*

Madame Tracy and Shadwell were the last guests to arrive. They had brought a large box on the back of the moped, which Aziraphale eyed dubiously.
"Don't think about it, Angel." Crowley replied, "It's all in hand."
Aziraphale straightened the demon's waistcoat nervously, "That just makes me more nervous, Dear."
Crowley brushed a strand of hair from his partner's eyes, "Hm. Maybe you do need some ribbon, your curls are escaping."
"No, Crowley... I promised."
The demon reached behind the angel with a flourish, taking something from a covered basket, "But I didn't." Aziraphale caught a glimpse of his ribbon, and caught Crowley's hand to bring what it was wrapping to eye level.
"These are from the garden, Crowley."
"Mmm." Crowley showed him the pretty blue flower, surrounded by a delicate mesh of green stems, "Nigella. Or love in a mist."
Aziraphale blushed lightly, "Seems appropriate for our six millennia slow burn."
Crowley smiled, before reaching back up to tie the flower into his hair with the ribbon.
"But Crowley..."
"I didn't want overkill on the Tartan." The demon replied, "It's important to you though."
"It's unique you know. And allowing another to use your own Tartan is..." Aziraphale dipped his head a little, finding the words, "Akin to welcoming somebody to your family."
Crowley's fingers found his chin, lifting his head back up so they could meet each other's eyes. Then he took another Nigella, similarly adorned with the ribbon, and popped it gently through his buttonhole.
"I know." He chuckled. Then he glanced up to where Anathema had arrived in the kitchen doorway, "Take your places, ineffable lovebirds."

Chapter Text

Warlock pulled a face as Beelzebub approached. He handed them a flower, "Best take like ten, fly face. Groom's side or Groom's side?"
"Zzzztupid quezzztion, Groom, obviouzzzzly."
As the Prince of hell picked somewhere to sit away from Michael, they narrowed their eyes at the nearby teenager, "Adam."
"Yeah?"
"Plzz remove your Hellhound." The prince indicated where Dog was attached to their leg.
"He's the ringbearer?" Adam shrugged.
"Then he zzzhould be up front."
"Well if you'd washed before you turned up, maybe the dog wouldn't be so attracted to your smelly ass, Beelzebitch." Warlock snarked.
"Warlock!" Harriet yelled, "Do not talk to folk like that!"
The ceremony was simple enough, and they hadn't changed a thing despite the unexpected guests. Everybody was seated out on the grass on pretty blue blankets in a half circle. Because Aziraphale was liable to tire quickly, especially in the warm weather, they sat on their blanket together, the twins cross legged beside them and Anathema perched on a pretty bench with roses and clematis growing around it. It was all very close and cosy. The vows were extremely simple, personal, and heartfelt, even when Aziraphale had to squeeze Ariel's hand to stop her picking at her shoes while the adults were adulting.
"You had me when you gave up your sword, Angel. And now you'll always have me. I promise."
"You've been faithful to me despite everything I ever did or never said." Aziraphale replied, "Thank you for waiting for me to catch up with you. I promise you..." He met Crowley's eyes and swallowed before smiling, "...eternity."
In the end it was a lovely feeling for them to join their hands and lips together at Anathema's word, before each taking the hand of one of the twins in an additional vow to protect them. Even dog was well behaved, tartan ribbon tying the rings to his collar as he sat between the girls, though he did snap at a bee that came too close to his head.
By early evening those who could drink were drinking, the cake - an elderflower and lemon sponge with mascarpone buttercream - was being eaten, the girls were barefoot and running through the grass, and as dusk set in Shadwell and Newt had fetched the box and revealed it to be full of fireworks, which they were in the process of setting up and steering all the youngsters away from - a difficult task when Ariel in particular was a huge fan of 'pretties'. Crowley glanced over at one point and noticed Aziraphale sitting with Michael on the grass. Alice was cuddled up to her dad, and he worried for a minute. Thinking fast he grabbed the jug of iced tea he'd made earlier and poured the angel some, giving him the perfect excuse to sneak over.
"So they don't seem to draw anything up or down?"
"No. They did small miracles to start with, nothing major, just testing what they could do as a human child might, but they are far more interested in the idea of eventually flying."
"My wings are too small." Alice said.
"Tea, Angel?" Crowley said suddenly. Aziraphale wiggled his shoulders, "Yes please."
Michael studied Crowley with interest, "So you are the one who tempted a Principality. I heard a lot about you via reports over the years. Most of it I now assume fabricated?"
"We never, er... 'slacked off'." Aziraphale interjected. Crowley let his glasses slide a little, meeting Michael's eye, "We did our best for 6000 years. But we were all asked to love earth and its life."
Michael chuckled, "But how does one exactly... get from loving humans to loving your mortal enemy?"
"Ah..." Aziraphale murmured.
"Something to do with a flaming sword, I believe." Crowley replied, "And an angel with the heart to disobey the Lord herself, that her newest children might be given a chance to prove themselves."
Aziraphale blushed, lowering his eyes.
"An angel given a heart that loved and forgave. A heart that allowed him to speak to said mortal enemy and seek a comfort heaven wouldn't dream of providing."
Michael's eyes were wide, "You were entwined since Eden?!"
"No!" Aziraphale managed, "We didn't touch one another until post Armageddon!"
"Can vouch for that." Anathema added as she walked past, "Pair of them only got it on when your brother gave them an excuse they couldn't ignore. We were taking bets before that on how many more thousand years they'd take." She waved her glass in the direction of Alice, "Though you probably shouldn't talk sex in front of the results."
"What's sex, daddy?" Alice asked. Aziraphale squeaked, "Not for your ears yet, dear, go play with your sister."
"And don't ask Warlock!" Crowley shouted after her, "He doesn't know!"
"Okay, I'll ask Adam!" Alice called back.
"No you don't young lady-!" Crowley flew up and after the squealing child.
There was a pause.
"I was surprised you had chosen to do this again." Michael said at length.
Aziraphale's hand found his middle, "It wasn't taken lightly, I can assure you. By either of us. Crowley was concerned about the method of arrival."
"It is not a risk I would want to take." Michael nodded.
"But it is... nice." Aziraphale smiled slightly, "It's hard work but it's warm and joyous and never dull."
Michael raised her hand, "May I?"
Aziraphale nodded, shuffling a little closer to allow her to touch the bump. She exhaled through her teeth, "That is quite a feeling."
"It's not always the same." Aziraphale replied, "The girls weren't as mischievous."
"Personality driven. Intriguing." Michael paused, "And how do you decide when it's time?"
"Oh, they do that." Aziraphale replied, "I was quite worried, getting married before they arrived, because the girls were born about now. They should have had longer inside, as it were."
"But they've suffered no ill effects-?"
"It remains to be seen. They seem fine, but Ariel's comprehension is less word based than Alice's. However, Ariel can also produce beautiful art." he paused, "For identical twins they are sometimes as different as Crowley and myself."
"Hm." Michael nodded thoughtfully.

*

"Oh wow."
Crowley caught up with Alice as she reached the Them, "Hey Adam-"
"No, Alice, you are too young." Crowley scooped her up under his arm, "I'll put you to bed if you don't behave."
"Mr. Crowley? You have to see this." Adam handed him his phone.
"What the-" Crowley stared at the picture of the girls running on the lawn.
"We used that new filter that everybody's talking about, that edits the light in the background."
"Shit." Crowley turned to look across the grass. Aziraphale had been lured away from Michael and was talking to Harriet and Deirdre animatedly. As he approached he grabbed Madam Tracy, "Take Alice a minute will you?"
"Dad, what did I-"
"Nothing Li, just something I have to show your father."
"Oh I'm so glad you're an advocate of home birth!" Harriet was saying when he got to Aziraphale, "I so wanted to do the same when Warlock was born but oh my! The fuss! Shoved in a limo, dragged screaming through the countryside and do we end up in hospital? No! Nuns! Nuns were the best they could do!"
"Sorry dears." Crowley broke in smoothly, "Angel, can I show you something a moment?" He guided his husband away, "Adam used a filter on his photos and look." He looked around, trying to clock where Michael or Beelzebub might have got to. Aziraphale took the phone and squinted at it, "Crowley, what-"
"Granted you can't make it out clearly, it's a blur, but those are wings, right? Their real, actual wings made visible without them revealing them?"
"Oh." Aziraphale managed, "At least it's blurry."
"I know." Crowley managed, "But this filter's pretty popular at the moment. We'll have to be vigilant."
"Does it work on us? Or the others?" Aziraphale questioned. Crowley tapped back into the gallery. There were pictures of the Them, of dog with the rings, the party in front of the Rose and Clematis arbour, the two of them and them with the girls, and one particularly amusing one of Arthur struggling with his trousers, presumably this morning.
"I can't see it elsewhere but I don't know if he used the filter every time."
"Daddy!" Ariel jumped up at them, "Photos?"
Crowley's finger hit the back button again, "Pose, Ri ri!"
The girl pushed her grubby hands behind her back, beaming happily. Aziraphale noticed she had managed to get her sash undone and the cream dress was green with grass stains at the back, but he didn't think it prudent to complain. After all, how many times were her parents likely to get married?
(Don't tempt fate, it took you long enough to get here, his brain said.)
Crowley held the phone up to Aziraphale, "Wings. Faint, but there."
"Me see!" Ariel squealed. Crowley showed her. She blinked, checking over her shoulder, "Dada I didn't mean to..." She checked over her other shoulder, "I didn't do it..."
"It's alright dear." Aziraphale soothed, "It's not your doing." He ushered her off towards her sister before taking a breath, "We can't tell above or below about this."
"Tell uzz about what?" Beelzebub was returning from the kitchen with a beer and a sandwich.
"Humans seem to have invented a camera filter that may be able to detect our wings." Crowley replied, leaving the mention of the girls out of it.
Beelzebub tilted their head, eyeing the photo on the phone, "Intriguing..."
"Worrying." Aziraphale managed to play along, "How is anybody supposed to go unnoticed?"
"Adapt." Beelzebub snorted, took a bite of the sandwich and handed it to their fly (who was miraculously unseen by those who didn't expect to encounter an agender Prince with a fly on their head), then swigging the beer instead. At length they snorted, "Crowley, what is the point of this?" They prodded Aziraphale's middle, causing the angel to squeak in surprise.
"We... wanted them?" Crowley replied. The prince snorted, "Why? What are they FOR?"
"That's the girl's age, yes." Aziraphale replied. Crowley rolled his eyes as Beelzebub turned his attention to him, "If you can't add anything logical to the dizzgussion, Principality, say nothing."
"I thought I was on topic." the angel sighed, "Crowley, I'm going to sit down."
"Go ahead Angel." Crowley nodded.
"You spoil the creature." was the prince's accusation.
"He's an angel, he appreciates being nice." Crowley managed.
Beelzebub snorted, "I do not respect your choizze of mate."
"I would never have guessed, the amount you hang out with Gabriel."
There was a pause, but Crowley knew the prince wasn't finished with him yet. They drained the can, placing it on the wall of the raised beds the couple had put in around the little patio, before turning to their subordinate, "Zomething is being planned. The angelzz are unczzertain, but plotting." The prince watched the twins closely. At length Ariel picked something from the ground - her Nigella, broken from being dropped once too often. She closed her hands around it, and too late Crowley realised what she was doing.
"Imagine what that power could do to wallzz or even humanzz." Beelzebub stared at the repaired flower the little girl pushed back into her hair, "We muzzt take great pains to ensure they grow up well adjuzzted."
"As opposed to what, exactly Beez?" Crowley managed, "Or are you trying to end all life on Earth for the sake of a rematch?" He didn't let the prince reply, "You're assuming a lot of my daughters. We may not know what they are or what their purpose is in the plan, but neither of them have the allegiance or the power to do more than self helping miracles. And we'd like it to stay that way. If there's to be a war, we don't want in on it."
"Again." Beelzebub buzzed, "You made your alliegenzes clear last time." The prince tilted their head as Alice screeched at Ariel for something, pulling her hair, "Your offspring have more than enough Violent tendanzeez Crowley."
"They're sisters. We had fights with family."
"I zuppoze thizz is what happens when your father izz a demon... and your bearer uzzed to wield a flaming zzword..." Beelzebub chuckled, and strode away. Crowley felt a chill down his spine, and moved to the girls, "Come on now, what is this about?"
"Alice had two turns at asking the box for songs." Ariel cried.
"I said she could have two turns too!" Alice yelled in reply, "I had to listen to both together!"
"That's enough, girls." Crowley managed, "Listen, the fireworks will be set off soon, you'll need to sit quietly for that, it's dangerous to run around. Then I think it might be time for bed. You've had a long day."
"Okay dad." The two chorused. Crowley was sure to give Beelzebub a hard look. (Violent are they??)
"Here Mr. Crowley, I'll have them back for a bit." Madam Tracy was saying, "Oh, girls, you do get into some scrapes! Look at you, firey hair, firey spirit!"
Crowley breathed out, a long, heavy sigh.
"Here." Harriet passed him a glass of wine as she left the kitchen, "Your..." She giggled as she said the word to her friend for the first time, "-husband said he thought you needed one."
"He was right." Crowley replied, sipping carefully, "Mm. Yeah I needed more alcohol."
Harriet chuckled, "It has been a long day." She paused, "I'm so pleased for you, Anthony."
"Sure?" Crowley asked tentatively, "You're not just throwing yourself into helping us because of your ex, are you?"
Harriet smiled, ignoring the question, "Azira looks so happy. So did you, until those two showed up. Who are they anyway?"
"The ex bosses." Crowley shook his head, "At least Azira is taking everything well. I'm glad he's happy, with Puck on the way." he glanced over, changing the subject, "How is it going with old T?"
"Filed the papers last week." she nodded grimly.
"Proud of you." Crowley replied, raising his glass to clink against hers, "You can really get to grips with the world with him out the way."
"Yes." Harriet agreed, "It will be quite the experience. Oh, by the way, Anthony. Before I forget - Should you want, if you wanted a quiet weekend we were discussing it, and the Youngs and I would be able to put the girls up for the weekend if you wanted to go away or something?"
"Oh I doubt we'd find anything at this time of year Harriet." Crowley nodded, a little uncertain about letting the twins out from under their roof for a while now, "Thank you for the offer though, maybe another time, closer Puck's arrival? I'm sure Azira will need the rest then."
"Of course." The woman smiled, "We all thought we would give you the option though. A little gift, as you said not to bring anything."
"Appreciated." He nodded.
"Oh, there was one more thing." The woman said. Crowley blinked at her, "Hm?"
"Azira said he didn't have a midwife or... anything. I thought I'd offer my services, not that I'm as well read as he is, but I have some experience."
"I'll speak with him. I'm sure he won't mind having somebody else nearby." Crowley nodded appreciatively, "I suppose we will need a babysitter for the girls too, if Warlock is free."
"I'll await your response." Harriet beamed, "You've both been so kind to us, Anthony, I feel there must be something I can help you both with."
"You helped today, and that was great." Crowley slung a friendly arm around her shoulder and squeezed gently, "Couldn't have made this thing run smoothly without you."
At that, Madam Tracy ushered the girls onto the patio. They clamoured around their father, chattering happily as the teenagers followed, Newt joining them as Shadwell admonished, "Ye break everything young fool, get aht and let me!"
Aziraphale, Anathema and the Youngs joined them as the fireworks started. Anathema took Newt's arm to guide him away from the risk of fire. Crowley threw his free arm around his husband, admiring the glint of light from their wedding bands as the angel patted that hand with his own.
"Michael and Beelzebub have left." The angel murmured, "I hope I didn't give too much away."
"Beez reckons the same as you - Heaven is confused and needs answers." Crowley mused, finally letting go of Harriet to wrap his other arm around the angel, watching the fireworks and hoping Shadwell didn't manage to set himself on fire, "Something's changing, Angel. I don't think I like it."
"I think... maybe they might try to stop us having more." Aziraphale fretted.
"God gave you that gift." Crowley growled, "Just let them try to take it from you."
Amoungst the oohs and ahs, the two stood together, eyes skywards but lost in each other's arms.
"The cake was wonderful, dear."
"And the ceremony."
Aziraphale lay his head on Crowley's shoulder and hummed, contentment fighting his worry for dominance, "I love you."
"Angel, the feeling is entirely mutual. Now hush, try and forget about them all just for tonight." he nuzzled at his husband's hair, "Tonight is ours."
Aziraphale giggled.
"I ought to show you something before we make this official."
Crowley glanced down at him, frowning, "What? I've seen it all before remember."
The angel giggled, hitching up his dress to the middle of his thigh. Crowley groaned, "You old bastard."
Aziraphale chuckled, "And they say Heaven has no imagination. My tartan garter says otherwise."
"Ought to have known you'd sneak something through." Crowley snorted, "Good job I love your bastardry."

Chapter Text

June was intensely hot, as it had been 5 years previously. The twin's fifth birthday arrived, the first year they had a real party, with school friends and party games. Crowley realised shortly before the end of their party that Aziraphale hadn't offered to do any magic. The day had been a whirlwind of insanity, and at length the demon trotted into the kitchen to find his husband seated with his head in his hands at the table, the fan pointing directly at him. Crowley stroked his long hair, moved to one of the drawers, and got out a clean tea towel, which he dampened at the sink and laid gently over his husband's head.

"Thank you." The angel mumbled. He was overheated and exhausted, yet again coming up to the end of his pregnancy in the sweltering heat. Crowley counted the weeks to go and sighed, "I'll get some more ice cube bags. Think you're going to need more ice than the arctic to cool you off this summer."

He caught sight of some of the children in the garden, and left to herd them back indoors - sunburn was all he needed to stop parents trusting them with their children in the future - but when he returned Aziraphale had disappeared. He guided the children back to the living room, told one of the other parents who had stayed to help he was going to check on his partner, and went upstairs.

The shower was running in the en suite, and he pushed the door gently, finding the angel lying in the bath. The plug was in and the shower was raining lukewarm water down on him.

He groaned when Crowley finally shut off the water.

"You'll overflow the bath." The demon told him.

"Mm."

"The rest of the kids will be going soon. The party bags were all done, right?"

"Mmhm. I put the cake in."

"Thanks. Angel?"

"Aaa." His eyes had decided to reflect brown today. Crowley chuckled, "You're making less sense than you do when you orgasm."

A frown crossed the angel's face, "Is that all you wanted, Crowley?"

"No." The demon patted the bump, the only part of his husband that was above the water except his head, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Hm?"

"You were too hot when the girls arrived, I'll give you that. But you were able to temperature regulate in Eden, for somebody's sake..."

"I wasn't made for hormonal spikes and squashed lungs in 30 plus degrees celcius, Crowley."

"Noted." Crowley replied, using his hand to agitate the water so it made little waves that swirled over the bump and up the angel's neck, "Next time we'll have to plan this a little better."

Aziraphale nodded.

"That is." Crowley pondered, "Assuming we can conceive at a time of year that isn't coming up to spooky season."

*

June became July. The heat let up a little, enough to help Aziraphale breathe more easily. He was trying to take it easy, aware that given the girls had arrived before this, technically his mischievous singleton could arrive at anytime they saw fit (And probably would if they were anything like their father)

One evening they were relaxing in bed. Crowley had been extra attentive to his needs for the past few weeks, and in return Aziraphale was holding his tongue about all the aches, pains, heat rash and on one occasion, the baby's attempt to somersault now it was over 8 months grown (That in itself had left him feeling faint)

On this evening Puck was being particularly frustrating, barely pausing from their wriggles and stretches. Aziraphale wondered if it were possible to bruise internally from your unborn kicking you too hard in the same spot for an hour. The child had finally given some thought to resting when Crowley had started nuzzling and humming at them, allowing Aziraphale some much needed reading time.

He had been happily making his way through a new book when his ears heard a particular word, and he lowered the book, staring hard at his husband, where he was sprawled inelegantly across his lower half.

"What?" The demon replied, serpent eyes meeting his own.

"Could you please not utter such words to our child?" Aziraphale despaired.

"They won't remember. It's just noise to Puck."

"Crowley, it doesn't matter, you've slipped up before with the girls, it would be a good habit to get into."

Crowley flicked his tongue, "Yes of course dear, hecking good habits and all." He mocked gently. Aziraphale's book rose once more to obscure his eyes, "I'm ignoring you, dear."

"Oh good." Crowley grinned, "Then you won't mind if I have some fun down here."

Aziraphale dropped the book with a squeak of surprise when a serpent tongue poked him in the belly button, "Crowley!"

"Higher or lower, Angel?" came the hissed response. Aziraphale frowned, "Is there something wrong with you lately, Crowley?" he asked, "You're very... stimulated."

Crowley crawled up his husband's stomach, grinning, "Mussst be your pheromones, Angel." He nuzzled under the nightdress the Angel had hoisted up under his bust, and wrapped his tongue around a nipple. Aziraphale went dizzy with the sensation, "Perhaps it is. I... I wonder if... oh Crowley. Crowley I-"

He pushed the book under his pillow and reached to press the demon's head down harder.

*

Aziraphale was surprised he made it to August. Every day for two months he had been ready, making sure he had clean towels, bottled water, a packet of sweets for quick energy, a watch for timing, anything he could lay his hands on that might possibly have helped on the previous occasion. Having made it nearly to full term, he was experiencing far more signs that he was actually close to the end of the ordeal. He had Braxton hicks contractions most days; his energy was on the rise, to the point where he was scarcely able to keep still and Crowley was forced to take the twins to the cinema to see the latest kids summer blockbuster by himself. The most telling sign for the angel himself though was that his sleep was exceptionally light in anticipation, both his own, and it seemed, Pucks. There was a distinct sensation of curiosity building within him, the kicking slowing in favour of stretching unpleasantly and vertically, as if Puck was already drawing the conclusion that gravity was suggesting they were going downwards. Sometimes he fancied the pressure on his bladder was from a hand feeling for an exit.

Crowley was beginning to get a little irritated by Puck's timing. One night the demon was suddenly shaken awake. He jumped, heart pounding, "Angel! Is it time?"

"Crowley." Aziraphale said solemnly, before beaming, "You have to hear this idea dear! What about if you had a hand in making nice big water bottles that people take to the gym, but they're made from plastic that makes the water smell odd?"

"Angel?"

"Hm?"

"Tell Puck you need your rest." He turned over and went back to sleep (Filing that suggestion for later).

Aziraphale's light sleep had also left him intensely aware of Crowley's nightmares. He had never stopped having them, although they were at their worst during his last pregnancy. Aziraphale hadn't been able to get out of the demon exactly what some of them were about, although one or two he gathered were to do with him falling, or the child that turned out to be the twins having been toxic by it's very halfling nature to his angelic body. He gathered there was a possibility that Crowley had even lost him to labour in his nightmares, a major worry that Aziraphale had tried very hard to correct before asking Crowley about trying again, even writing his own agreements out with Crowley as to what would happen in given situations.

On this particular night he woke not to Puck's wriggling or demands, or to the need to use the toilet, but to Crowley's muttering. He opened his eyes when he heard his husband moan, felt him shift, saw pain cross his face. He reached gently for the demon.

"Angel." Crowley managed, his voice cracking. Aziraphale hesitated short of actually touching him.

"Where're you Angel? ...'Ziraphale?" His breaths were short and panicked, "Damn you all..."

The breath caught in Aziraphale's throat, and he finished his reach, laying a hand gently on the demon's cheek, "Crowley. I'm here. I'm always going to be here now. I promised." He leaned forward to kiss his husband's forehead, "Dream what you like best, my love."

Crowley tensed, "A-Angel..." He curled up beside him, "Angel..." His breathing slowed. Aziraphale considered this a job well done, and slipped out of bed to use the facilities while he was awake.

He was washing his hands when he heard the whine, "Angel..?" He returned to the bed as quickly as possible, "Sorry dear... I was as quick as I could be." 

Crowley was still half asleep, probably from his angelic interference, and as he got back into bed the demon stuck out his serpent tongue and huddled up to him.

"Warm."

"Yes, I am rather. Are you cold?"

The demon's hands lazily slipped down his sides until they rested on his middle. He pressed close, "Aziraphale, don't ever lose the belly, it's lovely." He muttered sleepily.

"Well I'll try dear." Aziraphale replied, "I need your help though, if you like it like that." He humoured him. He'd dealt with Crowley like this before. Loving every fragment of his being - even the parts that were seen as flawed, by himself or by heaven.

Puck took this moment to complain bitterly that he'd got up in the first place. Aziraphale exhaled slowly, "Oh will you stop it, child."

Crowley hissed, "I'll show them."

Before he knew what was happening, the demon was in Aziraphale's lap, pushing him backwards over the bed. The angel squeaked in shock - he'd dealt with Crowley's sleep-behaviour before, although this was certainly a new one - but Crowley just slinked at his hips, snaking it up, curling the cool, heavy, solid coils of his serpent form around his middle and going back to sleep.

Aziraphale breathed a sigh of relief before he pulled the covers back over them a little, and moved a pillow under his head, "I suppose this will do." He murmured. There was a pause before he realised something

"Crowley? Crowley, I can breath well again. Have they-have they dropped?"

There was no response from the sleepy snake. Aziraphale felt a little joy springing in his heart though, and reached to pat the top of his middle, where Crowley wasn't coiled, "I'm excited we get to meet you soon!"

How soon? He didn't know. A week? A fortnight? A day?

His insides felt fizzy, the bubbling mischief mixing with joy and trepidation to finally have this near it's end. To be near holding the tyke of a child in his arms. He couldn't suppress a shoulder wiggle and a giggle. 

Chapter Text

Crowley hummed to himself as he deadheaded the roses. It was quiet, morning sunlight warming his body where he stood. He bent to inspect a climbing rose's leaves for spots, then he dropped his secateurs at a scream piercing the air. Aziraphale's scream. He flew panicked back into the house, terrified, "Angel?!" He skidded on the tiled hall floor and crashed into a heap by the stairs. He sat up with a groan, only to hear screaming and laughter from the living room.
Standing and rubbing his elbow where he'd landed on it, he pushed the door open and found Aziraphale lying on his back on the floor, screaming and laughing as the twins tickled his belly and blew raspberries on it. The angel peered up at him, tears of laughter streaking his face, "Crowley, h- hahaha! Oh - Crowley, help!"
Crowley gave his heart a minute to calm down, and asked, "Girls, what are you doing?"
"Tickling baby, dad!" They chorused.
"Oh, really?" Crowley said, moving as if to scoop them up but at the last second wrenching Aziraphale's shirt further up and joining them, "How could I ever refuse my angels plea to help our daughters tickle their sibling?"
"Eek! Crowley, Crowley you-" Aziraphale was definitely mouthing words at him, shrieking in between but not fighting back that much. The assault continued for a few moments more before Crowley called it quits and helped the angel up.
He shrugged at his partners cross expression, "I thought you were enjoying it - you didn't fight back."
"I didn't want to swing too hard and hurt the girls." Aziraphale admitted. Crowley pulled his shirt back down, "Well, you scared me half to death with your screaming so there's that." He grinned, "All even now."
Aziraphale rubbed his middle absently and turned away as Crowley made his way back into the hall. He glanced to the front door, where Alice was pulling a letter from the letterbox, "Dad, letter for you."
Crowley's blood froze at the handwriting. Then he heard Aziraphale gasp. He put his head back around the doorframe to see the angel reaching for a familiar envelope on top of the mantlepiece.
"Oh no." They both managed.

*

"They want you to WHAT?!" Crowley snarled, flicking his serpent tongue. The girls had been sent upstairs to play in their room as soon as Crowley realised they both had a letter from their respective 'employers'.
"Well, what about yours, what does yours say?" Aziraphale panicked, holding his stomach as he breathed hard. He moved to sit down when Crowley pulled a chair out for him.
The demon sighed and opened the letter, "It... says the same."
"The same...?"
"Location, time, date." Crowley hissed anxiously, "I don't like it, why are upstairs and downstairs both asking us to come to a meeting on earth of all places?!"
"We did say it was rude of them to summon us 'home'." Aziraphale said quietly, "But they said- They said they would do the kids examinations here, not have us all visit somewhere."
"What do they actually want to know, Angel?" Crowley managed, "The almighty herself blessed our union, what could they possibly want with us all so far from home? It has to be a trap." the demon snarled, "Heaven must know you're not in fit state to fight, that you can't go full Principality, that it would be dangerous to call you back upstairs, and they know the girls aren't capable of fighting. Protected or not there's a lot they could do to all of us." he flicked his tongue in rage, "I'm going out Angel, I have demons to interrogate."
"Crowley..." Aziraphale held his arm.
"One of us has to ask, Angel, and I'm damned if Gabriel or Michael is going to get their hands on you or the kids."
"I walked into heaven three months ago."
"That wasn't all of heaven and hell in a single room." Crowley growled. Aziraphale let go of his arm, "Be careful dear."
"I will. And you - If this is a ploy to split us up we'd best be ready. Make sure the doors and windows are locked. The only ways in are through the sigils Anathema made for us - that will hold them a while. Keep the girls together, and if I don't update you in 2 hours, get them ready in case you have to defend them."
"I will." Aziraphale managed. His hands were trembling as he moved to bolt the French doors. Crowley moved up to him tenderly, holding his hands in his own, "Precautionary, Angel. Please don't worry too much."
Aziraphale swallowed, trying to summon the words, "You know very well I'll worry until you step back through that door safe and sound." He reached to kiss his cheek gently, "I'd expect no less of you if our positions were switched."

*

Crowley didn't have to go far. As soon as he left the cottage he smelt the murky scent of pond water, the stench of stagnant pools slowly filled with chemical waste. A scent he knew well. Then he saw something out beyond the hedge, and ran after it. It had crossed the road and gone into the woods, and Crowley knew that scent well enough to also know what route the demon would probably take. He skirted around the near silently moving figure, to pounce with a hiss and bared fangs on them as they skulked behind a tree.
"Hastur you basssstard, what are you doing here?! Did you deliver that letter?"
"Get off me angel fucker." Hastur managed, wriggling against Crowley's hands as they gripped his coat tightly, "Get OFF!" He struggled. Crowley could still smell fear on him; presumably his attack on Ligur had left a lasting scar on the demon's mind. He decided to press this further and use it to his advantage, forcing the lanky blonde against the tree. He shrieked, "So what if I delivered it?! It's not MY order!"
"You hung around, thatsss what." Crowley hissed, "What do above and below want with usss?"
"How should I know?" Hastur was leaning away slightly from Crowley's face. The snake demon leaned in closer, baring his teeth again.
"You're a duke of hell, you have sssome idea." He spat. At Hastur's silence, he seized him by the lapels tighter, squeezing with the strength of his snake form, "Okay then, you're coming with me, maybe Aziraphale can think of sssomething to do with you."
"You won't get away with any of this-" Hastur growled as he struggled, clammy hands pushing at Crowley.
"I already am." Crowley snapped, unfurling his wings. Hastur fell silent in shock. He'd heard that Crowley was no longer fully demon, that he was out of bounds, that she herself had marked him protected, but hadn't thought about what that would actually mean.
"Come and meet my husssband, ssstill capable of holy miraclesss." Crowley hissed, "We want to hear everything."

*

"Crowley!" Aziraphale squeaked from where he stood in the kitchen doorway as the demon forced Hastur through the sigil marked front door, leaving him weakened and partially cut off from his demonic power. With a snarl the duke dropped to the tiles in pain, "Bastard."
Crowley just grabbed Hastur by the scruff of his neck, pushing him into the kitchen. Aziraphale backed off.
"Look what I found in the woods, Angel!" He called brightly.
"Whatever is it?" Aziraphale managed. Before Crowley could answer, Hastur screeched, "What- What is THAT?!" He pushed back against Crowley, eyes wide, "Why does it feel like THAT?!"
Crowley frowned at the angel. Aziraphale bounced on his toes lightly, "It's just happy it's father is back safe." He rubbed his middle gently, "It's okay, you can calm down now Puck."
The near suffocating joy faded, and Hastur managed to regain some small semblance of dignity, though he still remained as far as possible away from the angel as he gestured politely for him to sit down at the table.
Crowley slouched in the chair between them, "Ssssit down Hastur, my hussband is trying to be polite."
"Tea?" Aziraphale managed.
"Angel-" Crowley groaned, "You can't just offer a lurking demon a cuppa!"
"I thought I was being 'polite'?" Aziraphale muttered, "Really, DEAR." He emphasised the word, "You haven't even introduced us." He raised an eyebrow, a reminder that 'I'm not supposed to know who this is...'
Crowley sighed, "Aziraphale, my husband, Principality, former guardian of the Eastern gate of Eden." He indicated the other demon, "Hastur, duke of hell."
"...Pleasure to meet you?" Aziraphale tried, "I say, what have you got hiding under that wig?" He bit his lip and covered his mouth with a hand the moment the mischief slipped out.
Crowley rolled his eyes as Hastur growled at him, and then slammed his fist on the table, "Sit. The. Fuck. DOWN."
Hastur and Aziraphale both complied, the Angel twitching nervously. Crowley's mouth twisted into a scowl, "What is this meeting about?"
The Duke folded his arms, but kept his eyes on Aziraphale in particular. Crowley growled, "Are you going to speak to me, puny demon Duke?"
Aziraphale blinked at Crowley, but said nothing. The next moment Crowley's hand reached under the table, taking Aziraphale's and squeezing it gently. The angel's mouth tilted in a smile. A stifling wave of joy filled the room - one that Crowley had realised now that had he still been a demon would be knocking him for six with it's power. He had never felt anything that strong from Aziraphale until the situation, and he wondered what sort of beings they were that could produce such powerful emotion.
Hastur's mouth was trembling as he stared impassively at the angel.
Crowley's hand made it's way from Aziraphale's hand to his middle, stroking gently. Aziraphale gasped a little in bliss at the movement - Crowley could imagine this baby having his cute little shoulder wiggle - and the energy in the love and joy exuding from the angel ramped up again. Crowley met Hastur's eye, knowing he had caught the movement of his hand and was aware that he was very in control of his angelic husband's energy right now.
"If you don't talk, I can go and get the twins as well." Crowley hissed, "They're easier to get to give off emotions."
"You bastard." Hastur breathed, eyes wide, "Why don't you just bloody kill me?"
"We want to know why heaven and hell suddenly care about us enough to get together." Aziraphale said gently, blissful with joy. Crowley flicked his serpent tongue and reached to scratch at the angel's middle just so - he knew that this late, his skin was stretched and itchy. The relief hit Aziraphale hard, and he wiggled his shoulders without thinking. Hastur snarled in pain, "Alright you bastard creature! Stop this sickening display!"
"That's high praise from you." Crowley chuckled evilly.
"It-it wasn't anybody's idea. Metatron brought word to everybody. It's her upstairs' fucking idea." Hastur spat at the floor at the thought of the almighty. Aziraphale pulled a face. Crowley glanced to him and he was distracted, exchanging a confused glance with his husband. Crowley's eyes flashed angrily, "She IS using usss as an experiment, Angel!"
"Maybe-" Aziraphale's mind worked quickly, "Maybe she wants us to heal the rift between sides." He countered.
Crowley hissed louder, "We just want to live, why can't sssshe let usss be?!"
Aziraphale stood, moving behind Crowley to hold him gently. As he did he glared at the Duke, daring him to say a word. The angel leaned to his husband's ear, "She means well, Crowley, and we are still her children."
Crowley's tongue flicked with this hiss. Hastur was thinking about trying to slip out, but before he could there was the thundering sound of little feet on the stairs, and the twins burst in.
"Daddy, Li keeps pulling my feathers!"
"I am not, Ri has one out of place, I was PREENING her!"
Hastur froze wide-eyed as the children ran to their parents. Aziraphale's strength came in handy as he picked one of the 5 year olds up, resting her atop his middle as though she were the weight of a newborn, "Easy, Ariel." He murmured, swaying them both gently as the girl cried. Crowley picked up Alice, "You and feathers, you little monster." His eyes met Hastur's again. The Duke was studying them, obviously never having had chance to do so before. He had been shocked by Crowley's wings, but the twin's own were something else entirely, shimmering in silver-grey oily rainbows, and although the love in the room was still palpable, it was nothing like as painful as the love Aziraphale had been sharing with his youngest spawn.
Crowley wrinkled his nose, "Don't look at my daughters like that, you toad."
Hastur growled in return. Aziraphale put a hand on Crowley's shoulder suddenly, "Wait." Crowley turned his attention to the angel.
"Are you... curious? About what this is like?"
"Aziraphale..." Crowley started, but the angel put Ariel on his free knee, and made his way around the table. Hastur visibly shrank back against the chair, but Aziraphale gently took his hand, cold and clammy though it was. The demon shrieked as though he expected to be burned alive on the spot. Aziraphale waited until he stopped before continuing, "Is... this a thing you would try? Would you consider... befriending an angel for this?" His eyes burned against Hasturs. The Duke didn't know how to reply, and blustered, "Rather not touch your sort."
"So you're not even curious then?" Aziraphale pressed the demon's hand to his middle, against where Puck was beating out a little samba with their heels.
Crowley would never forget the day he saw bewilderment, intrigue and nausea in Hastur's eyes. The Duke still pulled his hand away after a few seconds though, "Your fuckboy showed us Alien."
Aziraphale tsked at the language, "This is not 'Alien', dear boy." He replied, "This is consensual, wanted, and wonderful."
For a moment there was silence, both demon and angel staring each other down, and Crowley was sure they had both zoned out. The he saw Hastur's mouth twitch, and a muscle in his neck contract that indicated he was about to draw back a punch.
"Aziraphale!" he yelled, unable to move with the twins in his lap. Then Aziraphale simply put his hand out, catching the fist inches from his face. His other hand went to Hastur's other wrist.
The Duke screamed as the angel wrenched the two hands behind his chair easily. His face nearly touched Hastur's now. He spoke, his voice clear and calculated, "There is nothing wrong with this, little demon. And we are protected. Not just by God herself but by each other. And if the Almighty wants more love between heaven and hell, I will NOT let her down."
Hastur stared terrified into the holy mark that burned on the Angel's forehead, one of his extra eyes opening there to encapsulate it.
Crowley pressed the girl's faces to his chest, "It's alright girls. Daddy will deal with the nasty demon." His voice shook as he said it. Even now he knew he was no demon, even on the second occurrence of Aziraphale's angelic self breaking through the soft little bastard shell he loved so much, it was no easier to behold. Aziraphale's true self was a frightening creature, and he had never tried to test it's conscience or humanity.
"You must have been curious... to stay after delivering your letter. Yet still you fear and hate... you don't understand yet. You'd be excellent to take the first steps towards the integration."
His stilted talk made Crowley worry, and he loosed the girls down to approach the angel. He touched his back gently, "Angel, you'll wear yourself out."
Aziraphale blinked, snapping out of his trancelike state, closing the eye on his forehead. He breathed, "Maybe the ineffable plan is not to involve humans in this pettiness anymore, Hastur Duke of hell, and maybe it is to bring the sides back together after all this time. It would be..." The angel's smile returned with a mischievous little dimple at his cheek, "An excellent job for a Duke of hell."
With that he let go of the demon's hands with a sigh, smiling weakly at Crowley before moving to herd the twins away to another room. Hastur's hands shook, and he reached in his pocket for a cigarette. Aziraphale's head snapped to face him, "Not around the children." He growled.
Hastur trembled; Crowley didn't want to know which part of what his husband had done had scared him so. He indicated the French doors, "I think you should leave now, before my husband tears you limb from limb. You can smoke on the way home."
"That-that thing." Hastur managed, "Like an Eel, or a... A snake." He stared at Crowley, "How can he let it inside him?"
"He likes looking after it." Crowley replied, "It's an experience." He paused as he unbolted the door and slid it open for the Duke to stumble out, "Maybe Aziraphale is right, Hastur. If you're curious, you should find yourself an angelic friend. Might help you get over Ligur."
Hastur's face twisted at the reminder, some of the old rage flowing back into him now he was out of the protected house, "You bastard snake."
"Me bastard snake." Crowley snorted, "Now get out of my garden and let us decide if we want to be paraded like a science experiment."

*

When Hastur was gone and the door locked, Crowley headed out into the hallway. On the big sofa in the living room, Aziraphale sat, a twin either side, huddled to his middle. He looked understandably tired.
"They kicked me first Ri, they like me better."
"Nu-uh, you're too chicken for them, they kicked you to say get lost loser." Ariel laughed. Aziraphale stroked their hair gently, letting go of a tense sigh.
Crowley leaned on the back of the sofa and stroked his hair in turn, "You alright?"
"Nothing lunch won't solve my dear." Aziraphale replied.
"Told you not to draw on too much old school holiness." Crowley replied, "...I take it you want to take the kids into danger?"
"Provided this one doesn't make an appearance first." the angel replied, "I'd prefer to have a pair of hands per child." he looked up at Cs face, "I know you're as proud of them as I am."
"But are you as worried for them as I am?" Crowley asked.
"Dear. We can't let them think the world isn't dangerous. Or that we'll be around forever, now we don't really report to anybody."
Crowley's eyes widened, "What if something happens to you? You can't tell me the baby will be fine if you get discorporated."
"Well, no..." Aziraphale replied, "But I..."
"Angel, that kid could arrive anytime, the girls were early and Puck is due, I don't know how long they're planning on staying in there. We can't go, Angel. Please listen to me."
Aziraphale's disappointment was palpable, but they had always tried not to argue in front of the girls (As much for their extreme responses as babies as to not let them grow up thinking it was appropriate) so he didn't reply.
Crowley caressed his warm cheeks, "Angel. For the kids, as you are always giving me as an excuse." he kissed his forehead, "I have to put my foot down sometime and I won't risk the girls for it. Please."
Aziraphale sighed, "Alright. I suppose."
"Thank you." Crowley smiled, "Now, can you wait a few for lunch?"
"I suppose." He replied, "Why?"
"I thought I'd do pancakes. I can do yours up like crepes if you like. I have fruit and cream in the fridge..." He grinned. Aziraphale's expression brightened almost immediately.
"Pancakes!" Ariel squealed suddenly. Aziraphale jumped and flinched as the pitch obviously upset the baby enough that he got a sharp kick in the ribs. He let out a long breath, "Oh my."
"You okay daddy?" Alice asked.
"Yes dear." the angel managed as Crowley massaged at his temples gently, "Just your sibling kicking the wrong spot."
Crowley reached down to stroke Aziraphale's middle, "Hey tyke, chill. You're getting crepes for lunch, just stop beating up your dad."

Chapter Text

Despite his tiredness, Aziraphale spent the rest of the day on his feet. Crowley followed him idly from room to room as he picked things up - a blanket, a cushion, a stuffed toy snake of Ariel's - only to discard them in a heap on the sofa.
He finally cottoned on when he went upstairs to call everybody for tea, and found the pile had moved to their bed. And their bedroom floor. The girls had brought their own bedding and raided the airing cupboard and tent, and everything was strewn about. In the middle, Aziraphale was twisting a sheet around his arm idly, watching the twins stack fabric all around.
"How many times do you need to make this nest, angel?" he asked as he tiptoed through the room with an accidentally ballet-like grace.
"Until its right dear. The girls have been helping." Aziraphale's voice was a little far away, and Crowley took a deep breath, knowing that they were now on countdown. He looked around him, "They have?"
There was a rustle from the fabric at his knee, and a giggling head appeared from underneath to beam at him.
"Helping in an uhm, advisory capacity." Aziraphale coughed, and looked innocent, an impressive feat in his feminine form. Then he began to giggle. Crowley raised an eyebrow, "Well this is a lovely nest and all, but it's not exactly practical, is it?"
Aziraphale gazed at him blankly.
"To get all our linens covered in mess, and risk me falling and breaking my neck when I'm trying to help you deliver it."
"Oh!" Aziraphale seemed to snap out of his mood, glancing around him, "Oh girls, I think we may have too many blankets!"
"We tidy, Daddy." Ariel told him, "No worry."
Aziraphale beamed.
The angel was no less energetic by bedtime. He failed to go to sleep; He rolled about, punched his pillow into submission, attempted to spoon Crowley, whined into the sheets after two hours of not sleeping, and eventually threw himself bodily backward into his pillows with a sigh.
Crowley opened his eyes with a growl, "Angel what the actual..."
"Sorry Crowley." Aziraphale looked sheepish, "I have so much energy..."
"Yeah you're practically glowing." Crowley complained.
"Sorry." The angel said again, "Maybe I had better go to the library and read."
"And be gone all night?!" Crowley snorted, "Maybe we should do something to use that energy." he swung a leg over the angel's hips, "As I have been trying to avoid your pheromones for weeks for fear of you going early."
"You have? Crowley, there was no need for that." Aziraphale managed.
"Now you tell me." Crowley chuckled, lifting the hem of his husband's nightie, "Pretty. Let's get those lace knickers off you, before we begin." Aziraphale laughed, shoulders wiggling in joy.
"Er, should I say wahoo?"
"Wahoo indeed, Angel."

*

Crowley slept blissfully. Their activities eventually wore Aziraphale out, and he was snoring gently into his pillow by the time Crowley cuddled close and drifted off himself. Unfortunately though, it was only the early hours when he felt himself being nudged awake again.
"Dear, wake up." Aziraphale whispered.
"Mm."
"Crowley, dear..."
Crowley jumped, "What, what's-" he looked at Aziraphale's face in the light of the angel's side light. He was playing with his hands, half way between wringing them and stimming.
"It's happening now right?" He guessed. Aziraphale nodded, eyes wide. Crowley studied his face, "Angel what's wrong? You look concerned."
"It's nothing."
"No it isn't."
"No, no it really isn't." Aziraphale replied, "It's just. Its not scared."
"Not scared?" Crowley sat up, frowning as he curled close to the Angel.
"The twins, they were so scared, you remember?"
Crowley nodded, "I see." He paused, closing his eyes, feeling the air and touching the bump gently, "What is that though? It's... pensive? excited?"
"Giddy with excitement." Aziraphale managed with a little giggle, "I feel quite faint."
Crowley stared at his husband's face, his cheeks flushed a little, warm and giggly. He tilted his head, "If they're okay Angel, don't cushion them." He paused, "The girls needed it, but if they don't then save your strength. Please."
Aziraphale nodded, reaching for Crowley's hand as he slowly let go of the feeling he was evidently holding back. Crowley chuckled, "They're excited! Bring it on, Puck!"
"That's for me to say." Aziraphale giggled, beaming, "Crowley, I can't wait!"
"Lets get up and get you moving about then." Crowley replied, "I'll send Anathema and Harriet some prep texts."

*

By 8am Aziraphale had stopped pacing around the house excitedly. He was actually quite intrigued by how fast he seemed to be progressing this time. Crowley by contrast was horrified, and had slipped out already to update the two women who needed to know.
"Harriet is getting Warlock ready now, then they'll be over." He said as he walked back into the kitchen. He blinked. Aziraphale and the twins seemed to be playing ring a ring o roses, the twins fully awake and enjoying the cast off excitement of their sibling.
"Is that wise, Angel?" the demon asked, exasperated, "If you 'make a mess' in here, you'll all go over."
Aziraphale beamed at him giddily, "The girls were just helping." He paused, holding onto the counter, "But you may be right. And I don't want to fall down dizzy either."
"Daddy, they're excited to meet us, right?" Ariel was asking, a little hand on his middle.
"I'm sure they are, dear." Aziraphale patted the girl's hand.
"Daddy, I want to meet them now." Alice was hanging off the angel's other hand. Crowley rolled his eyes and moved to shoo the girls, "Don't crowd him girls, he needs to rest."
Aziraphale giggled at this, "I feel like I could fly to the moon and back, Crowley."
"That good, eh." Crowley managed, "Please at least come and sit in the living room until Harriet gets here? Girls, you can come too, but you'll have to stay with Warlock when things start getting messy. Your dad will need to concentrate."
"Crowley." Aziraphale murmured, "Plenty of people involve their older children in home births."
"Plenty of people don't have an Angel for a husband, who will have kittens if he starts getting stressed out and can't divide his time appropriately between his three kids." He paused, "And I will have kittens if you end up in another state."
"Kittens would be easier to give birth to." The angel giggled. Crowley missed the twins' hushed giggling and chattering behind him. He knew Aziraphale couldn't help it right now, and he could feel jubilation and excitement rolling off everybody, but he was feeling worried, and not just about the fact that Anathema was away, hence why he was proud (but still terrified) to take the active role this time.

*

Harriet arrived 40 minutes later, apologising for having even taken that long, "Warlock needed some time to get out of bed and drink his tea."
Aziraphale smiled at this. Crowley elbowed him, "Behave..."
The twins jumped on Warlock, squealing and chattering. The lad was still half asleep, but replied to them good-naturedly, "Okay, alright, let's go in here." He pushed the living room door open.
"Azira dear." Harriet was saying, "We got here as soon as we could, how are you doing?"
"Fifteen minutes apart, but I got this far in less than 4 hours." He bounced happily on his toes, "I was going to have a shower as they seem rather eager to arrive!"
"Of course, don't let me make you wait." she patted his arm gently and stepped aside to let him through.
"Do shout if you need help." She told Crowley, "I know Ms Device said she was with you both last time?"
"Thank you, we will call if we need help." Aziraphale managed as he climbed the stairs. Crowley nodded to Harriet, "Cheers." He winked, before following his partner upstairs. Aziraphale was already halfway stripped in the en-suite.
"What's the rush, Angel?" Crowley asked.
"Ah." Aziraphale managed, clambering into the bath, "They-they're eager and-" 'He paused, breathing through a contraction, "I don't want a-a mess like last time."
Crowley reached to gently hold his husband's hips close as he leaned on the wall under the shower head.
"I-I just feel like..." The angel recovered, turned the shower on, and stood under the hot water flow, rubbing his sides and under his bump, "I can't-can't quite believe the speed."
"It's those hips of yours." Crowley chuckled as he slipped in behind him, bracing the angel against himself to massage his sides. Aziraphale whimpered, pressing himself back against the demon with a satisfied sigh, "Hips? Dear... It's Puck who's desperate to arrive. Ah-!"
Crowley had to grab Aziraphale as the next contraction made him weak at the knees. He gasped suddenly, and Crowley wrinkled his nose, "Huh. Good call on the speed, angel." He chuckled.
Aziraphale whimpered as the pain faded, "So eager. Too fast. Four hours is just-"
Crowley began to chuckle. Aziraphale frowned, "What--?"
"They go too fast for you, Aziraphale." Crowley managed, kissing his neck.
"Ah." The angel managed a small smile, reaching to hold his husband's head there, "They take after you, then."
"The trouble they've already caused, was there ever any doubt?" Crowley flicked his tongue against the angel's ear.

Chapter Text

Crowley wrapped the angel in a warm towel and offered his hand to help him from the bath. As he started to step out though, the demon swept forward, an arm behind his husband's back and one under his knees.
"Crowley!" Aziraphale panicked at the sensation of falling, clinging to his husband's neck, "What- what on earth are you."
"You don't need any more exercise." Crowley chuckled, turning to carry him to their bed. He sat the angel down, pulling an extra towel from the pile the girls had made yesterday to wrap up his hair and start to dry it, gently massaging his scalp as he did. Aziraphale keened appreciatively until the next contraction.
"They ARE eager." Crowley murmured as he held the angel, "Come on, lie down for a little." He helped Aziraphale up the bed and under the covers, where the need to fidget began to take over again.
"Can we call the girls?" the angel smiled beautifully up at Crowley a few minutes later, listening to little footsteps running up and down the stairs while the demon was putting little braids into his hair. For his part Crowley merely glowered, "For... We only just got them to stay off you Angel! Less than..." he stumbled, having rather lost track of time.
"Oh, they' re just curious seekers of truth, like their father." Aziraphale smiled again. Crowley didn't think flattery helped the situation, "Look what good that did me!" he snapped.
Aziraphale stopped smiling, but not enough to frown. It was that expression, so close to disappointment, that tipped the balance.
"Alright, fine. Compromise!" he barked, throwing his arms aloft. The door switched from soft oak to some sort of Perspex, twin faces already pressed against it. Aziraphale waved.
"Is our brother here yet?" Alice asked.
"If you're here to ask that I'll change it back!" Crowley shouted.
"Girls!" Harriet called, "You were meant to be fetching a book - Warlock's waiting in the tent."
"Ahh!" Aziraphale suddenly tensed. Crowley flustered, "What - is it already-?"
Aziraphale huffed, "I thought you said you read the books."
"Angel, reading about it, watching it on YouTube and actually helping your partner with it are different things entirely. How close are they?"
Aziraphale breathed through the contraction, "7... 7 minutes... Will you be alright without Anathema?" He worried.
"She's on speed dial." Crowley grumbled, "Have faith, Angel."
"I would if your hands weren't shaking." Aziraphale managed. Crowley's hands moved back to his husband's head, stroking his temples as he ducked to give him a kiss, "Just tell me if anything feels wrong or different."
"It already feels different, I'm wearing an entirely different gender!" The angel squeaked.
"Try to stay calm!" Crowley hissed.
"I am calm, Crowley. You're the one distracting yourself." His hands reached up to cover the demon's own. Then his gaze wandered, "Oh what I would give to be able to eat a strawberry and bacon crepe right now."
Crowley choked a half laugh, "Angel, whatever you want - later. You're rambling, and you need to focus."

*

Crowley had indeed read more books this time, and was nervously bracing himself to check Aziraphale's progress. He surmised it was lunchtime from the smell of cheese toasties wafting up the stairs, and they had been awake since 5am. He was more tired than Aziraphale seemed.
"Come on Crowley, please." The angel's plea broke through his thoughts, "I need to know if I can start."
"I'm going to, I just..." the demon glanced back between his partners legs, "What if I don't do this right and we hurt them?"
Aziraphale bit his lip as another contraction hit him, "CROWLEY- you had no qualms about-- sticking other anatomy in there!" He shifted, "I can't hold on Crowley - If you won't check I'll have to-"
"No, no Angel I'll-" Crowley finally reached to check, "I-I guess, yes?"
"Oh thank fuck." Aziraphale replied, finally letting go of his frustration and pushing himself up ready to bear down, "Crowley, we will have words... later... about this."
Crowley grinned sheepishly as he met the angels eye, "At least 8 hours is a lot less than 27, Angel."
Aziraphale met his eye, scrunched his face, and concentrated, allowing himself a groan as he gripped at his own sweating knees.
Crowley squeaked a moment or so later and became fixated on the angels legs, "I can't believe how much quicker this is."
"Still hard work." Aziraphale growled. Crowley patted his hand, "But you're making it look so much easier. You're doing so well, keep going!"
From the demon's point of view, his heart was pounding. Everything was going so fast compared to last time, and though that was great, he wished secretly that there was a bit more time for him to collect his thoughts or dial Anathema to make entirely sure he wasn't about to damage the beloved little Puck. It seemed no sooner did his husband actually start pushing than the eager kid was halfway here, and he wished that he had time to appreciate them when he cradled their head, stroking blood from it in the pause between contractions to reveal angelic blonde hair. They opened their eyes slightly, flashing blue irises at him.
Aziraphale grinned despite the pain as he watched the demons face change from blind panic to amazement, his shoulders moving as he supported the little head, "Aziraphale..."
The angel was done waiting though. He pushed himself up again, feeling the wave in his middle, and concentrated. Crowley snapped back to business, hooking his fingers under the child's armpits to gently ease it further. When it's chest was out the rest of it was easily lifted free, and Crowley fell back down to his knees, frozen as he gazed at the baby and not a thought in the world for the mess he was making of his fresh shirt.
There was a single sharp cry, an acknowledgement, I'm here! I made it, finally! And I'm bloody cold!
"Crowley..?" Aziraphale managed, panting, "Crowley, are you alright?"
The demon turned his teary eyes to his husband, blinking suddenly as if realising where he was. He looked back to the child, who looked at him with the eyes of somebody who already fancied they knew a lot more than he did. He choked, "You little tyke." He shook his awe off and glanced downwards, "Baby boy, welcome to life, son!"
Aziraphale laughed in joy, reaching to cradle the boy as Crowley finally made it off the floor, handing him over reluctantly. The child was quiet, quite unlike the girls, and his eyes boggled at the place in which he found himself. Aziraphale couldn't help but beam at him, and in turn at Crowley, warming the child with his angelic joy.
With adrenaline fuelling him, Crowley found it hard to relax, still half expecting another shriek of agony, a second pressure and force ruining what was a perfect moment. But there wasn't one. Aziraphale expressed mild irritation alone when his peace was broken by the delivery of the boy's former support system. Crowley sorted out the cord, went to the bathroom to get a wet, warm cloth to tenderly clean him up, and pulled the blankets back up over the pair before standing back to admire their work. He snuggled in beside them, gazing upon his impossible family, finally with the joy he was owed after the last few days.
"I'm sorry dear, did you want to hold him?" Aziraphale managed after about twenty minutes.
"M'okay Angel" Crowley replied. Aziraphale met his eyes, "You sure?"
"Yeah." The demon smiled, "I'd be lying if I said you were never more beautiful, because you're most beautiful when we go for Crepes or Sushi. But you're pretty beautiful right now."
"Oh Crowley..."Aziraphale blushed and looked away, back to the baby who stared right back. Crowley chuckled, "The girls are our charmers, but he won't need to charm anybody. He will just draw people to him."
Aziraphale smiled proudly. Crowley glanced back at him, "There we go. That's your most beautiful." He kissed his cheek, "Thanks for sticking around to meet him, Angel."
The angel beamed, "He's so pretty!"
"Of course he is, he looks just like you." Crowley murmured.
"Crowley..." Aziraphale shrugged this off.
"Blonde, Blue green eyes, and don't tell me you don't know that chin."
"I also recognise the shape of his eyes and the bridge of his nose." Aziraphale murmured, "And for all my strength, he's tall too, much bigger than the girls were. He resembles both of us."
"He did also do two extra months inside." Crowley chuckled, "Of course he's bigger. What is he, 7, 8 pounds?"
"He's enough." Aziraphale assured him. Crowley smiled, "At least I can say I have a beautiful son. And with that many looks from you, he's really got to have the heart of a mischief maker!"
Aziraphale made a happy sound, his shoulders shifting. Crowley reached for a blanket to finally wrap the boy up. The angel passed him over to be swaddled, taking the opportunity to cuddle to Crowley and beam down at the baby himself.
"Our pretty, pretty little boy..." The angel murmured, "Our perfect little family."
Crowley grinned at him, "Not quite perfect yet, remember?"
"One at a time, demon." Aziraphale said with mock indignation, "I am not a horse to be studded."
"Certainly not when you're the filly." The demon laughed, and Aziraphale found himself joining in.

*

Warlock had taken the twins to play in the garden after they'd arrived. Harriet sat outside for a little, but worried in case she was needed so ended up sat on the stairs, listening to Aziraphale's cries, Crowley's panic rising and falling, and finally the shrill shriek of one announcing their arrival. She paused for a moment, nostalgia hitting her in waves, before she ran downstairs to find some tea things, glancing at the clock so she knew not to go up too soon. After half an hour or so, she made some tea and coffee and a couple of sandwiches and took them up, leaving them on the landing. She knocked gently, "There's a drink out here for you both." And made to go downstairs. Crowley's head peered around the doorframe at her when she was half way. He grinned.
"All fine?'" she asked.
"Absolutely." The demon's grin broadened, "The girls have a brother."
Harriet beamed back at him, "Do you want them-"
"Give us half hour." Crowley replied, taking the tray, "Angel will need tidying up."
"Of course. Just call."
"Thanks Harriet."
Aziraphale of course had been fine until he heard the girls mentioned, "Crowley, they need to come and meet- oh they'll be so pleased!"
"Easy Angel." The demon chuckled as he handed over the tea, "Refreshments first. Girls after."
"Oh, that reminds me." The angel murmured, taking a sip of his tea and putting it on the side, "I need your... help. To try something."
"Oh?!"
"You see I..." Aziraphale let the blanket slip from his chest, "I need to find out if these work... correctly."
"Angel..." Crowley baulked, "I don't like the sound of this."
"I know you don't really do a lot of eating." Aziraphale replied, "But I just want to know if it works, and if it's... okay. If I've done it right, I suppose? And..." He paused, smiling as he tested out the name they had decided on in advance (Being as how the Angel had refused 'Puck', he had been sure to have names pre-prepared this time), "Alexas can't tell us..."
Crowley pulled a face, but as the angel finished his tea, the demon was eventually convinced to give it a go, (Only for Puck's safety, mind!)
"What do I... do to it to make it work?"
"Er, suck it, dear. Not just anywhere, the nipple." Aziraphale barely contained a giggle that was sharply broken with a gasp when Crowley leant in and did as asked.
The demon jumped back with a start when the expected happened, "Angel that's weird."
"No good?" the angel whined.
"It's milk alright." Crowley replied, "But it's weird as fuck, it coming from you."
"Oh?" Aziraphale leaned forward, "Weird how?"
Crowley chuckled at the curiosity. Always for food!
"Let me check the other one, and I'll let you try it." He smirked.
"I thought you said it was weird?" Aziraphale smiled.
"Yes, well... got to be sure they're both doing the same thing." Crowley replied, and leant back over Aziraphale's lap to repeat his actions, this time staying close to meet his partners lips immediately afterward. Aziraphale's eyes widened, "That IS strange."
"Like milk and you." Crowley replied, "But that's not what was so weird-"
"I understand." Aziraphale said suddenly, "It feels very weird from here too."
"Are you going to let him try?" Crowley asked.
"Might as well, now I've gone to all the effort." Aziraphale replied, leaning to lift Alexas from his basket, "I do hope he likes it."
There was a pause as the boy figured out what to do with what was offered to him.
"Oh, he likes it." Crowley murmured a moment later, crashing onto his husband's thighs with adoration at the wave of joy emanating from the baby, "He's a foodie too..."

Chapter Text

Harriet brought the girls and Warlock upstairs when she was told to. Crowley met them at the bedroom door, which was now made of oak again.
"Girls, do you remember what you asked us for?"
"Brother, daddy!" Ariel squealed. Alice nodded with some trepidation. Crowley pushed the door open, "In which case you will be very pleased to meet your brother, Alexas Oberon Fell-Crowley"
"Brother!" Ariel was already half way across the room towards the bed. Aziraphale greeted her warmly as she snuggled in close and gazed at the little boy, "Li he's just a baby stop sillys."
Crowley took Alice's hand, "I'm right here." He lifted her up and sat on the other side of Aziraphale with her. Eventually he slid her down between them, and pulled the blanket back so she could see, "Matches your sisters drawing."
"Mmhm." she held his blanket gently, watching him. Then he flailed, grabbing at her fingers. She squeaked. Ariel clapped and reached for his other hand. Crowley grabbed his phone for a picture. Aziraphale beamed, "See, Li? He's just a baby. Just like you were once."
Alice nodded, "Yes daddy, I know." The angel stroked her soft curls proudly.
"Daddy?" Ariel asked.
"Mm?"
"Can we have brother Warlock too?"
Harriet chuckled, where she stood with her son. Aziraphale giggled. Finally the pair approached the bed, Warlock sitting uncomfortably to peer at the boy.
"He's precious!" Harriet was saying.
Ariel and Alice gave the tiniest shoulder wiggles. Aziraphale just basked in the love.

*

After the excitement of the day and the lack of sleep the night before, Crowley slept like a log. The twins had gone to their room early the evening before, without even a bedtime story or a mug of cocoa, and when he had peered in on his way out to fetch Aziraphale's, he had noticed they were already asleep.
He woke in the mid morning, warm sunlight spilling over his pillow. He rolled over, finding Aziraphale already awake and feeding the newborn.
"'You got the hang of that pretty fast." He chuckled.
"Hm? Oh. yes. He - seems to enjoy it."
"His father's son, loving food." Crowley purred. Aziraphale smiled to himself, "Crowley..."
"Hm?"
Aziraphale held out a hand, palm upwards, "Care to experience?"
Crowley didn't even pause before taking it.
Alexas broke his latch briefly when they swapped; He frowned upwards, scrutinising the face that peered down at him. Somehow his tiny features made an unconvinced expression as he went back to his meal. It put Crowley in mind of Aziraphale, on occasions where they had argued while at restaurants, and the phrase "Or - ONE. Better. Idea?" came to mind. He chuckled.
"That is the most bizarre..." he managed, "Oh somewhere no, that's strange."
"You don't like it?" the angel asked, where he was basking the demon's body in the sunbeam, "I thought it was pleasant."
"Too pleasant."
"It's only because you're not used to it. They'll get sore in time, and he will damage them a little."
"You won't want me to kiss them better then." Crowley chuckled.
"Depends on how often he wants feeding."
"I'll look it up." Crowley made to reach for his phone before remembering he was now on the wrong side of the bed, "Little help, Angel?"

*

Crowley opened the door in the late afternoon and blinked, "Beez! Gabe! How are things? If you want to come in, you'll have to step through the sigils, I don't make the rules."
"You were not at a meeting you were specifically invited to." Gabriel replied, ignoring the rest of what he had said (Although there was a flicker in his purple eyes that told Crowley he was under the weak influence they would have on an Archangel), "Neither was the rest of your sinful household."
"We were a little busy, actually." Crowley replied as he lead them into the living room, "And you were at our wedding, we're hardly sinful."
"Busy, what's more busy than a call from the Lord?" Gabriel gaped. He stopped at the sight of the twins. They grinned in unison.
"We have a baby brother!" Alice squealed.
"I'm sure you're aware of the punishment Eve was given for her sin?" Crowley replied, "Well, turns out we have to do that shit too."
Gabriel shuddered, glancing at Beelzebub, "Nonetheless, we must speak with you and that creature masquerading as an angel."
"In that case you'll have to come to him, he's recovering."
"Dad, dad! Can we cuddle Alex again?" Alice squealed. Gabriel backed away from the girls.
"You soon changed your tune." Crowley was saying to the older twin, "I'm glad you love him after all."
Ariel however had noticed Beelzebub, and had cornered them, "Why is there a fly on your head? You didn't tell me before."
Beelzebub narrowed their eyes at the child, taking in her mismatched eyes. She narrowed hers in response, "It looks like a pompom. Its cute. Can I try it on now?"
"Ri, Li, up to your dad." Crowley ushered them ahead. Beelzebub and Gabriel paused in the living room, a little creeped out, until Crowley called, "You pair of lurkers coming?"
The two followed him upstairs. Gabriel saw the flash of blonde hair from the figure sat up in bed, "Azira-" He started, but paused at the sight. Beelzebub pushed him into the room, "I can't zzzee through you, idiot."
Gabriel was almost stammering, "What are you doing now?!"
"Er..." Aziraphale blinked at the intrusion, "Feeding my son?" Gabriel was scandalised, but Beelzebub just chuckled, "Izz this a thing a parent muzt do?"
Unless you want to go out and buy formula, yes." Aziraphale replied.
"Hey Gabriel, stop perving on my husband's breasts." Crowley chuckled. The twins were bouncing together at the end of the bed, and at length Crowley calmed them down and they went to sit with the angel as he finished and put Alex onto his shoulder to burp him. With his nightdress pulled back down to cover, Aziraphale was finally ready to listen to the pair.
Gabriel wasn't amused at being kept waiting.
"There have been orders from above." he started.
"To mingle. Like us." Crowley said matter of factly, "So she must know what our kids are, even if we haven't worked it out."
"Do you mind?" Gabriel spluttered, even more annoyed at being interrupted.
"No, I don't mind at all." Crowley replied.
"Listen, you may feel quite happy being some sort of half breed, but you still report to us-"
Alexas burped loudly. The twins giggled. Aziraphale bit his lip to stop himself smiling, though Crowley could tell by his eyes that he wanted to laugh.
Gabriel pulled a face, "What was that?"
Beelzebub chuckled, "You will find out, Archangel." They buzzed as they pushed him aside, "Pairzz are already marked out. We are here to learn of the proczezz."
"Well you missed it." Crowley laughed, "I'm sure you would have loved us to have turned up and my husband to have given birth on the floor, but I wasn't about to let him."
"Wait, was that why the meeting was yesterday?" Aziraphale squeaked, alarmed.
"You can draw your own conclusions on that Angel." Crowley replied, "You know what I think."
"Honestly." Aziraphale sighed, "I will tell you all you need to know - I have books of what you need to know - though first hand knowledge from us would be beneficial I admit. When do you need it?"
"Azz soon Azz pozzible."
"Oh, she's that keen?" Aziraphale blinked, "Give me a couple of days, I'm still rather fatigued."
"Aren't there any films?" Gabriel complained.
"Oh no, humans don't like anything too... uhm... graphic." Aziraphale admitted. Gabriel pulled a face, "In my experience, everything they do is Graphic."
"She's got eternity, why the rush?" Crowley asked.
"The parties involved wanted it... over and done with." Gabriel growled, shooting a glance at Beelzebub. Crowley raised an eyebrow, "No way did you two pair up. I mean, colleagues to enemies to beurocracy to lovers?"
Gabriel may have been hoping in that moment that his glare alone was enough to wipe the smirk off Crowley's demonic face. Instead he turned and stalked out, "Aziraphale, 2 days, I expect a full report."
"Oh dear." the angel remarked, "He's not going to like any of it."
"Hizz luck he got the szzhort straw when the Archangelzz picked." Beelzebub cracked a small smile, "Two days, Principality. Oh, Congratulazzions." they left.
Crowley took Alexas from Aziraphale, "No rest for the wicked."
"Crowley, I am-"
"A very naughty Angel." He chuckled, "Come on, get Puck settled in the basket, curl up with the girls on the sofa and I'll make some tea."

Chapter Text

Aziraphale didn't hear anything back about his report, despite putting a full (Well, full-ish, as it was interrupted by meals for both Alexas and himself, and a glass of something with Crowley when he finally finished) 24 hours into it. He supposed he wasn't exactly surprised - he wasn't anything to heaven anymore, apart from maybe a thorn in the side. He did idly wonder how things were going though. Could he expect visitors asking for advice? Would they knock or just fling themselves through the sigils to appear in the house? And would that harm the children they carried?
He couldn't say he was keen on that idea.
Six months seemed to pass in a flash, and one mild Saturday in early February, not long before the builders were due to arrive to start work on the new bedrooms, he settled Alexas between two pillows on the bed, sitting in front of him with a smile.
"Okay Lex." he said quietly, "I'm going to do something very odd right now, but I don't want you to worry, my dear child, I'm still me, I'm sure you can tell my aura won't change."
He closed his eyes and settled, his wings arching and stretching as he did. He heard Alexas's coo of wonderment, and smiled gently, "I know, dear."
His own eyes closed, he didn't see the boys eyes widen as he changed, smiling blissfully as he cracked his neck gently into place and breathed, "Ahhh. Oh my that's better. That's more me, you know." He risked a peek. Alexas was staring at him, smiling like he'd just been let in on a massive secret. Aziraphale giggled at that smile, "Oh, that's alright then." He lifted him gently and the boy patted his hair, touched his face and grabbed hold of his bow tie, fascinated. Aziraphale kissed his cheek, "I love you too son."
Alexas gurgled, "Dada!" and gummed the angel's nose affectionately.
Crowley had been on a trip to London, driving half of the Them while Harriet and Deirdre drove the rest to some sort of pre-collage university open day. The kids were in the front room when he came in, exhausted, the twins watching TV and Alexas in his activity walker, punching an abacus style section of it with a stuffed toy. Crowley made to say good evening, then he saw the shadow from the kitchen.
He paused, smiled, and looked up, "Hello there, Angel." He moved to cuddle his husband to him for the first time in this body since getting married, "You decided then?"
"Yes, Lex is old enough and it was getting tiring." Aziraphale replied, "I liked this body more anyway."
Crowley nuzzled at the short, fluffy curls, "Welcome back Angel. Husband. Ngk. Love you whatever you're wearing."

*

"And then the troll roars!" Alice yelled.
Crowley looked to Ariel, "I say your Daddy charges the troll with his flaming sword."
They all looked expectantly at the angel, who was reading at the end of the table, and not really taking part.
"Daddy!" Alice said, "You have to roll for damage."
Aziraphale blinked, took the die in front of him, and rolled without raising his eyes from the book.
Ariel squeaked, "Daddy you can do better than a 3!!"
Alice laughed, "3 it is, the troll just roars louder!" She squeaked suddenly, looking down to where Alexas had toddled over and pulled her sleeve.
"What is it Puck, we're doing D and D!" Alice snapped.
"Troll has Troll-lets." he told her wisely, "Needs babysitter."
Alice's eyes widened, "How'd you come up with that!?"
Alexas bit his lip and giggled, "Trolls do naughty like Dad an Daddy."
Aziraphale dropped the book and glanced at Crowley, who sucked on his teeth, "Oh yes, young man? What naughty things would that be?"
The boy's blue eyes peered over the edge of the table, scrutinising the other family members, "Makin' Babies."
Alice giggled. Ariel frowned at them, "Daddy..?"
"Who told you about babies?" Crowley asked, dumbfounded.
"Pepper." Alice giggled, "She's the only one who would tell the truth."
"Oh, that's what you was giggling about at our birthday party." Ariel rolled her eyes, "Childish."
"Least we can talk to people, Riiiiaaaaa." Alice taunted.
"Stop that." Aziraphale said suddenly, "You know your sister struggles, there's no need for that." he glanced at Crowley, "Perhaps we should put the game away for now?"
"And do what? Angel it's wetter than Gabriel out there. What are we supposed to do?"
"Go to the aquarium?"
"It's the holidays Angel, it'll be packed."
"Cat videos?"
"I think we've seen legitimately every cat video on the internet, every dog video, and half the rat ones too."
"Well, there must be something we can do..." Aziraphale pondered.
"You can make babies." Alexas piped up.
"Thank you son, but no." The angel replied, "Not yet."
"When then?" The boy squeaked, almost stamping his foot. Crowley snorted, "I didn't know you were so desperate to be a big brother, little Puck."
The boy played with his fingers and smiled, "All the babies. Like t'Endless."
"Dear, the Endless were never - " Aziraphale blinked, "Hold on, who has been reading our not yet 3 year old Sandman?" He glanced accusingly around the table. Appalled at nobody meeting his eye, the angel asked, "So somebody has also been reading our 8 year olds comics made for teenagers, then?"
"Ah, give over Angel, they've not suffered any harm from it." Crowley replied.
"Only read t'Little Endless, Daddy." Ariel said quietly.
"Well that at least is sensible." The Angel replied, "Dears, would you excuse me and your father a moment?"
Ariel and Alice got down from the table, but Alexas lingered, "When, Daddy?"
Aziraphale huffed, "Next year, if you let your father and I talk this out! Go on now." He pointed at the door. The boy skipped out, his question answered satisfactorily. Aziraphale put his hands on the table, breathing slowly, "Crowley - why?"
"Ngk."
"Do you want them to have nightmares?"
"They haven't."
Aziraphale sank back into his chair, "But if they had-"
"Then I would have stopped." Crowley returned, "Angel, there's kids Puck's age out there in their parents laps while they play Call of Duty. At least this media makes you think."
"About the dark and deep depths of the human condition." Aziraphale sighed, "Would you have shown them Neon Genesis Evangelion?"
"Is there swearing in NGE?" The demon asked.
"Is there - Crowley!" The angel shook his head and rose from the table, walking out. A moment later the library door shut quietly but firmly.
"Best make it 2 years Puck." Crowley said to the little boy who peered around the corner post for the staircase, "Go play with your sisters."
The demon left it until after bed time before he attempted to placate the Angel, giving him a few hours to simmer down. The kids had been fed upstairs, and had managed to at least appear apologetic. Crowley had himself been apologetic in return, and had removed the offending books from the bedroom, relegating them to the top of the bookcase in his room.
Now it was 9 at night, and he was standing outside the library door with a hot chocolate. Aziraphale hadn't locked it; He never had to. If he had shut the door they all knew better than to disturb him. He slowly reached out and turned the handle. The library was lit only by the lamp at the angel's desk, where he was diligently studying. Considering they were both retired, each of them found ways to keep working, be it Crowley selling the excess chicken eggs and little plug plants grown from cuttings, or Aziraphale answering specific information requests or finally learning to use a particular internet forum to assist others in finding books they were after, whether they were collectors, or just millennials looking for a book they had read in school. At some point Crowley supposed they should get a scanner so the angel could learn (if he would) how to upload specific information he had access to.
The angel didn't look up when the mug was placed on the desk, close enough to break his concentration, so Crowley knew for a fact he was aware of him.
"The books are in our room." He said quietly, "Why don't you tell me why you were upset enough to send the kids out?"
The angel sighed.
"They're too young for this."
"I know, but I thought you trusted me to sanitise things where necessary?"
"Don't you think... Maybe... If our children could fall, Lex would be the one most likely to?"
"Puck? No. He's not a naughty child. He just seeks the truth. Like his old man." Crowley smiled.
Aziraphale gazed at him pointedly.
"Our kids have a purpose, Aziraphale." Crowley pushed back, trying to ignore the hurt at that look, worse than a comment would have been, "It's up to us to bring them up right to do that. But they're not going to be too bothered by a little sanitised teen comic. The man himself has kids, even if he did turn out to be an ass."
"He didn't write it for them." the Angel sighed.
"Angel you're worrying too much about the questions." Crowley replied, "We need to answer the questions first, before we worry about them."
"The question of who - what - they are..." Murmured the angel softly. Crowley picked the mug back up and held it in front of him. He took it gratefully, "Thank you dear."
The demon stroked his husband's back gently, "How about we put all this away, you drink up, and we'll go to bed. The rain is particularly nice against the bedroom windows tonight. Light and gentle."
Aziraphale took a sip of his hot chocolate, removed his glasses, and sighed, "I just wish I had a clue, Crowley. Something to pick up on, instead of combing history for any hint of anything similar that's gone before."
"They were supposed to be something entirely new, Angel, there may be no answers in the past."
"But humans have such imaginations, Crowley - surely one of them might possibly have dreamed something up..."

Chapter Text

As if sensing the conversation, the next day there was a knock at the door, accompanied by a thud, and raucous laughter. Aziraphale and Crowley exchanged glances, and the demon made for the door, leaving the angel to ready himself in case he had to draw the children behind him.
"Daddy." Alexas complained when his preening stopped.
"In a minute Lex." Aziraphale replied, "Put your wings away, dear." Panicked, he ran to the living room door to see who Crowley was about to greet.
"What do YOU want?" Crowley was snarling. The deputation from above and below peered down their noses at him.
"Is it tea?" Aziraphale asked, flanking his husband in a manner that made it clear they were not alone but equally not devoid of manners, "We're all out of French fancies, I'm afraid our youngest has a sweet tooth."
There was a long pause. The deputation shuffled their feet. One of the demons spat on the floor.
"Angel, I don't think they have a clue why they're here!" Crowley chuckled.
"You've been sent... finally... to try and work out what we are?" Aziraphale managed.

*

Crowley had immediately forgotten the 2 angels and 2 demons names. They were lowly youngsters anyway, and no real threat once they stepped beyond the door sigils. He hung back regardless, growling at the visitors while Aziraphale fluttered around his brood protectively. It was harder for them to talk to the children when the three were distinctly bothered by their father's behaviour, but so be it, Crowley thought. Aziraphale certainly offered no resistance to making this as hard as possible, though he was passive, at least until one of the angels picked up Alexas.
Aziraphale immediately bristled and grabbed their arm, "What are you doing?"
"I-I just was about to look at his true form." the angel blinked at him, a little worried by the Principality's aggressive stance. Crowley was proud, and hissed, backing up his husband. But something had changed on Aziraphale's face at that, "You can do that?"
"I-I assume so-" The angel stammered, "I-I mean, you were both once Angels - your children should have many of your physical attributes."
"Show me." Aziraphale said suddenly, "Crowley, keep watch?"
Crowley bared his teeth in agreement. The nervous angel stood the boy up, supporting him as he said, "Hi, may I? It doesn't hurt."
They lay their forehead against Alexas's. Aziraphale watched closely, keeping his eyes on everything physical and not. Alexas giggled, patting the stranger's hair. The angel twitched uncertainly, "I-I don't-I don't understand what I'm seeing."
The demons, more there to observe than to actually assist, sniggered. The other angel shook her head, "Let me."
"No." Aziraphale said firmly, "Let me try. I bore him, I might have more insight."
The angel passed the boy over. He beamed, "Daddy, Daddyyyy." and patted Aziraphale's cheeks. The angel smiled, "I'm sorry son, just let me know if it hurts or anything, okay?" He kissed his cheek before laying his forehead against the boys. He had done this before, many times, but never with this intention, the opening up between two internal compartments, revealing what lay beneath those corporeal forms. It was as though he was snapped to the boy's own realm, where their true form piloted that little corporeal body.
The angel gasped. Alexas was - well, Alexas - but he was adorned with a rainbow crown, to which was attached long, soft grey rabbit ears. His wings' flight feathers appeared in pastel rainbows below the shimmering grey fluffy ones, and his neck was adorned over his suprasternal notch with a tattoo, pale wings around a bright red apple.
"Shiny." The boy said, indicating Aziraphale himself. The angel glanced back at his form, not having seen it properly for a long while, even if he had called upon it once or twice.
His wheels were burning rainbows. His faces were marked with something - what was that? and his holy flames were tinted blue. He turned away, the need to work out this mystery greater than marvelling at his own changes- but found himself just smiling.
Alexas's mischievous grin filled his senses, his bright eyes shining with many different coloured lights.
"He's beautiful." Aziraphale breathed.
"But what is he?" Pressed the angels.
"He's Alexas. Just Alexas." Aziraphale managed, "Soft and cheeky and Prince of his family. And he's beautiful."
"Don'cry Daddy." Alexas said. Crowley's glance snapped to Aziraphale, who hadn't yet torn himself away from the boy. Alexas's eyes were closed too, but his little hands were at his father's eyes.
"Hey, Aziraphale." He was at his side in an instant, "Not too much. He's just a little bit."
"O-Of course." the angel replied, "I'm sorry, Lex. Let me." He opened his eyes, staring straight into his son's, "Don't you ever doubt yourself, Puck."
The boy grinned.
"What did you see?" the second Angel asked the first.
"Mist. Eyes and mist. And laughter. And... then things. But all... things he couldn't..." the first angel replied.
"He'll have read you like an open book." The other angel snorted, "Told you not to open up too much to them."
"Somebody forbid, you just trust the halfling kids." Crowley growled, taking Alexas from his father, "Are you done with Puck?"

*

Alice was next. Aziraphale saw her form much the same as the other angels did this time. Her arms and legs were lightly flight feathered, her curls twisting into little extra rainbow coloured wings at her ears and the nape of her neck. She carried a book at her side, and at first her father was concerned that she didn't open her eyes. Then she opened the book to him, revealing the many eyes, brown, blue-green and amber, that peppered every page.
"Shh." She held the pen in her other hand to her lips, "Secret, Daddy." Then she pointed behind his consciousness, to his own form, "Can I read you?"
"N-No, thank you Li." The angel murmured, a little disturbed.
"Angel?" Crowley frowned. Alice blinked at Aziraphale, "Daddy?"
"I don't know what I expected from you all." He murmured, "You're something, I know you are. But I don't know what." He kissed her forehead, "Thank you for letting me see, my dear."
The girl grinned and hugged him.
"That just leaves Ri Ri!" She giggled as she hopped off the table.
"Is that okay, Ariel?" Aziraphale asked. The girl looked up at him nervously, "Doesn't hurt?"
"Doesn't hurt." He promised.
She offered him her hand to be helped up. This time he saw the rainbow shimmers before he saw her. She squeaked shyly, slitted eyes narrowing. Aziraphale smiled, "It's alright Ri. It's Daddy."
She was far more obviously the daughter of a demon, shimmering scales flecking all over her body in patterns that kept changing, and her red hair occasionally flickering and rippling with light. She had only one pair of wings, and they too shimmered and moulted scales.
"What this?" The girl asked him, gesturing to herself, eyes wide.
"I think it's a monitor lizard, but... extra?" He offered, taking one of her little hands, "Let me see you better." he hefted her up. Her multiple thin, lizard-like tails thwapped in panic at the motion, and he caught sight of a lion-like tuft at the end of each. They were tipped in rainbow inks that drew in the air at their own constant twitching.
"Ariel." He murmured gently, "This..."
The girl's grip on his lapels tightened, her tails swirling to briefly form a reflection of the blue flamed, rainbow ringed former angelic presence, which wiped clean with a flap of her little wings.
"Little artist." He murmured, stroking her cheek, "Few words, but encompassing sight.".
She kissed his nose, leaving a little rainbow smudge. He laughed, and was greeted on retreat with the girl's dimpled smile.

*

Crowley kept hold of Alexas when the others had gone, unsure what they could actually report. Each of the children was, by the sound of things, completely different. So were they. They were like nothing that the angels had ever seen before. There was nothing even to tie the three children together besides the physical similarities of their corporeal forms. The twins had gone to their room and were bouncing on the beds from the sound of things. Aziraphale was sitting sleepily on the sofa, worn out by the anxiety of the day.
At length Crowley glanced down to his son, brushing his fringe out of his eyes, "I think Lex is getting a ginger streak."
"Oh?" Aziraphale blinked.
"In his fringe, just one curl."
The little boy looked him in the eye suddenly, "Light."
Crowley frowned at him. Alexas reached his face to touch Crowley's. Crowley pulled away, "Lex, what are you-"
"Dear." Aziraphale was gazing over at them, "I think he wants to see your form."
Crowley blinked, "That's not really suitable for children, Puck."
Alexas screwed up his face and began to wail, as if somebody had just flicked a crying switch. Aziraphale pulled a face as if he were getting a headache, "Oh goodness Crowley, just show him, if it scares him he won't ask again."
"Like Sandman?" Crowley stroked the boys fluffy hair, and raised an eyebrow at his husband, who ignored him.
"Okay son." Crowley said a moment later, "Tell me if it's too frightening."
Alexas flicked the off switch, immediately bright as a button, with nothing but his tears to show for the crying spell. Crowley took a breath. He hadn't seen his form in years. It had reminded him too much before all this that he couldn't be with Aziraphale, that he risked this happening to his beloved. So he was surprised when Alexas, large bright rainbow eyes and purple serpent scales looping his arms, began to coo and hum appreciatively. He allowed himself a look down from his little mischief's glorious long curls of blonde and red, amazed that his own pits of hell-cracked skin had healed, a little scarred but crossed with warm lines of light. His wings were bright and shimmery as expected, and he radiated again from within in a way he hadn't done since before he fell. His eyes returned to Alexas, mischievous tendrils of fluff tickling him where they touched, and exhilaration at his son's energy making him laugh.
"You are amazing, son." He whispered.

Chapter Text

Aziraphale was reading a book on Greek legends a few days later. He had been preoccupied since the visit, and this was his latest try to solve this mystery. On the sofa, Crowley was brushing Alice's long hair. Ariel had, with some concentration, got hers to stay at what probably would have passed for a bob if her hair wasn't full of tight little curls. Either way, it cut down on her over sensitive screaming about her hair being brushed.
"Dear Alice." Crowley was saying, "Somehow you manage to make my hair seem dull, all this glorious copper glowing in the sun."
Aziraphale looked up suddenly. He glanced down at his book, and across to where he had sat doodling on an old envelope as he helped Ariel with her reading earlier. He frowned, flicked through the book, and paused.
"Crowley, girls." He managed, "I think I know what you are."
"Twins, Daddy." Ariel returned, "We know that, silly."
"No, girls." Aziraphale patted her hand, "As in, I am - was - an angel, your father was a demon."
"Well don't keep us in suspense, Angel." Crowley grumbled.
"You're muses!" Aziraphale cried proudly, "Crowley, you've always given passionate speeches but never so poetically eloquent until the day the girls arrived." He bounced lightly in his chair, "They inspire what's within others. You must be muses, my dear girls." He brandished the book at them. Alice jumped down and ran to look at the list.
"Polyhymnia." She decided.
"The muse of sacred poetry?" Aziraphale chuckled, "I didn't say you had to pick these - these are just the Ancient Greek's version of the muses. I would say you're a muse of written texts."
"Clio, Daddy." Ariel decided.
"Muse of history? What about art?"
"Well she did draw her brother accurately before he was born." Crowley reminded him, "Recording history does go hand in hand with art."
Ariel and Alice exchanged glances. Then a voice piped up, "What am I, Daddy?"
Aziraphale looked at Alexas as he wrinkled up his nose just like his father could. He could see that red curl now, stark against the shocking blonde. He reached for the child, hefting him into his lap.
"I'm afraid I won't know that until I've had time to study-"
"You my son." Crowley chuckled wickedly, "Are the guardian of plot bunnies."
The boy looked from Crowley to Aziraphale, "Harry mine?"
"Not until you're older, Lex." Aziraphale said with an exasperated stare at Crowley, "I do wish you wouldn't tease him."
"S'not a tease." Crowley chuckled, "You heard his Nursery teacher. Picture of innocence when he arrived, had the kids running wild by break time. Mischief incarnate. If our children are muses, Angel, that boy is a rampant plot bunny."
Alexas looked over the book, seemingly studying it, "That one."
"Well?" Crowley asked.
"Calliope." Aziraphale replied, "The muse of Epic poetry."
"Sounds like a plot bunny to me." The demon chuckled.
"Not that kind of Epic..." Aziraphale shook his head, "But if our children are muses, Crowley..." Aziraphale looked suddenly worried.
"What?"
"The Greeks had nine muses."
"Nine kids?" Crowley chuckled, "Bring it on."
"Bring it on!" Alexas squealed.
"Nine..." Aziraphale giggled, cuddling his son, "Oh, Crowley, we'll have to space them out or we'll run out of bedrooms!"
Crowley distantly wondered if the products of other pairings of angels and demons would count towards the number, but decided not to break this thought to his angel. If his angel was happy with the idea of nine, well... so be it. He frowned.
"But Angel... Muses aren't entirely new, are they?"
"They are to Heaven and Hell, Crowley. Human ingenuity, related to long gone belief systems but not actually part of the Lord's plan." He paused, "Of course that's not even saying they are anything like the classical muses... After all, Art still fits Ariel more than History..."
"An ongoing project..." Crowley groaned, "Still, good work Angel. Knew if one of us was going to work it out, it would be you."

*

Armed with their new knowledge, they decided to try and time the next conception so as to avoid Aziraphale having another summer baby.
"Next Spring, Angel?"
Aziraphale counted in his head, "Best not, Crowley, I don't wish to end up giving birth to the second coming."
"Come on, I'm sure even herself wouldn't have both her kids born on the same day - unless she's making a joke out of humans fucking up the calendar and celebrating the wrong date entirely."
"I wouldn't put anything past the lord, Crowley."
The demon chuckled, abandoning that point entirely, "Besides. It's not our second coming. It's more like the 200th coming by now."
Aziraphale blushed, his eyes wide, "Crowley!"
"Yes, I apologise, Angel."
"Well. I forgive you."
"I need to add a zero to that number, as we're trying to make up for lost time-"
"Crowley!" The yell was cross this time, and the demon fell cackling off the sofa at a thrown cushion.
In the end, they decided on a summer conception, hoping for a spring baby. Aziraphale triggered his heat at the appropriate time, and they set to trying to work out what would work as a conception trigger this time.
Crowley was sunbathing in the front garden one summer afternoon, flicking his tongue idly, when a shiver passed through him. Tilting his glasses down he hissed at the clouds that were gathering, but flung himself backwards defiantly to continue until a fat splodge of rain hit him square on the nose.
"Alright, alright, you almighty bore, I'll go inside." He grumbled, "Just because you're the lord you think you can ruin the little pleasures. I'm still screwing your Angel."
The heavens opened as though the almighty herself had thrown a bucket of water just for him.
"Oh!" Aziraphale commented when he saw his husband. Crowley stared at him, "What?"
"That's a..." The angel wiggled his shoulders, his body seemingly involuntarily switching into the hippy version, "Different definition of on fire, dear."
"Sodden and shirtless?" Crowley snorted, "How about you? You've got such a heat hardon you've changed gender just for this."
Aziraphale's hand went to his mouth as he chuckled in realisation, "I suppose I have." His cheeks dimpled and he moved to cuddle Crowley, "Oh, but we can't." He gazed up at the demon frustratedly, "The children, it's not like we can just send them out to play."
"No problem." Crowley breathed, "I have a plan."
"Crowley!" Aziraphale protested as he was dragged outside, "I know you're wet, but I-" He tailed off at the sight of where his husband was dragging him.
"Oh, I'm not sure about this. Are you sure? I mean... really?"
"Of course you aren't sure." Crowley clicked his fingers to remove the children's car seats from the back of the Bentley, "But you're all fired up, and the kids will be awake for hours yet. It's raining and you don't want to be doing this in the garden where they can see and we can get cold and turned off. Logically... Car it is."
"I..." The angel looked doubtful, "What about the shed?"
"I don't know about you but grass clippings and mould do not a romantic afternoon make."
Aziraphale opened his mouth to complain that the shed didn't smell of mould, then blinked, "Oh, romantic?" was all that came out.
Crowley held the door open, "Only the best for my good old fashioned lover boy."
Rain hammered on the roof, but neither demon nor angel paid it any mind. For them there was only warmth, comfort, familiarity, love and ecstasy. Miraculously the cramped conditions didn't hinder them as they worked, twisted over the plush leather that Crowley had at least thought to miracle a blanket on to prevent his husband getting friction burn.
"Just... Just like old times Angel... roughing it... on a blanket..." Crowley growled. Aziraphale didn't have enough brain cells left active at that moment to do more than squeak, "Wahoo!"
Crowley barked a laugh, "You - You sound - fucking ridiculous."
"Not-not as much- as you did - asking for one."
"Oh - I asked for one - did I? Not you - and your need to breed - you horny fucking - dirty angel."
Aziraphale shrieked, clinging to Crowley an instant or so before the demon collapsed against him.
"Dirty angel." he managed, "Sinful little dove."
"Wouldn't- wouldn't have you - if I wasn't."
They panted for a few moments, Crowley basking in the warmth of Aziraphale's heat-fueled body. He kissed at his neck and the Angel groaned.
"Ha..." Crowley chuckled, "You dirty little angel."
Aziraphale pulled back a little, fluttering his long lashes over his today green-brown eyes, "And they say demons are the tempters."
"Wha - I am the ORIGINAL tempter, Angel! You fuck the original tempter and mock my game?"
"You ruined humanity's eternal happiness. From which much good came." Aziraphale licked his lips, "I tempted a demon into my arms, and showed him love enough that he would change and help raise a family together..."
Crowley wasn't sure how he felt about that statement, but Aziraphale was currently clinging to his neck and kissing it gently. He decided to give as good as he was getting.
"Dammit Angel, you've steamed up the windows. And the wood! You know the body here is real wood!"
The angel paused, eyes widening, "It wasn't my idea to do it in here!"
There was a sudden click, a little thud and the stereo switched on. Queen. Of course. Hammer to fall. Obviously. Crowley stared at it, "You can stop that." He clicked his fingers and the stereo turned back off. The demon chuckled, rolling himself up to sit back between the angel's legs, "When you give birth, Angel, I'm going to sit between your legs like this and sing Queen at the oncoming storm. So you remember."
"That would be exceedingly cruel."
"Only if I don't have time to do anything about it before it gets here."
"We might have another Puck!"
"Nah." Crowley chuckled as the angel pushed himself up, "Only room for one Epic poet in this family."
Their breathing slowed gradually, Aziraphale turning to cuddle against Crowley in the seat. When they had recovered, the demon sighed, "I suppose we should get dressed and make sure the kids aren't setting fire to the TV or something."
"Strange." Aziraphale managed, "How Lex never threw sparks like the girls did."
"Don't tempt fate." Crowley chuckled, opening the Bentley's door, "First rule of mischief - don't let anybody else suspect you."
They got as far as the front of the car, partially dressed, before Aziraphale giggled and moved to throw Crowley against the bonnet. The demon shrieked in a manner most unbecoming to his street cred.
"Don't you DARE, Angel! If you dent it I'll-"
"You drive me headlong into this ecstasy-" The sounds of Queen started up again from inside the Bentley.
"Headlong?!" Crowley screeched, "Fuck off!"
Aziraphale began to laugh. Crowley glanced at him, "Is that you turning that on?"
The angel laughed, "No, no Crowley! Promise! I don't even like-"
A window opened above them. Puck peered over the frame, too short as yet to see a great deal, "You making me a brother or sister?"
"Shut that window you cheeky little-" Crowley managed. Had Aziraphale not kissed him he might have finished the sentence. As it was, by the time the kiss ended, Aziraphale was as wet as Crowley had been. The angel beamed at him, noticed his shiver, and lead him back inside and to the warm embrace of himself and the sofa.

*

Anathema paused, gazing out the window at the rain. It wasn't meant to rain today, she pondered. She moved to her little stash of books, ignoring Newt trying for the umpteenth time to get his new phone to switch on without going haywire.
Tucked in a cupboard, wrapped in paper, was an ancient manuscript. She had meant to give this to Aziraphale, for safe keeping and to avoid the temptation of continuing to live by the words of her ancestor, but sometimes the pull was too strong for her. She needed to finish transcribing them first. Maybe she would invite him for tea next month and insist he take it.
She thumbed through the pages gently, knowing the angel would bemoan how she treated the irreplaceable tome. But it wasn't his, not yet, and she was near enough done. She found the right page, and glanced through the cards she had stashed alongside, the careful, checked and re-checked translations.
Rain brings joy but also tragedy. An Angel will weep with pain of a fallen.
Anathema tapped her pen on the table uneasily.
Prepare, Anathema, for there is great Evil in those who will not fall.