Actions

Work Header

Love, Actually, Is Just One Fucking Thing After Another

Summary:

Christmas, 2003. Ageing rockstar Stuart Dakin is determined to revive his career at any cost, even if it means pretending to like Christmas. Meanwhile, everyone at the Sheffield Gazette is sick of watching Scripps pine after Pos, and Akthar's getting married, but his best man has more than just the stag do on his mind.

(aka love actually but it's the history boys)

Notes:

so the idea for this actually came about last year during my annual rewatch of love actually, but I left it too late to get around to actually writing it in the end. the idea wouldn't leave me alone though so here we are. I had to change some bits around to make things work (and to give my all my boys happy endings) but the characters in THB roughly correspond to the ones in love actually as follows: dakin is billy, irwin is joe, pos and scripps are karl and sarah, lockwood and akthar are mark and juliet, fiona and crowther are natalie and david, totty is harry, hazel is mia, rudge is daniel and timms is colin (naturally). love actually has way too many characters for me to fit them all in but I picked the ones that I could best work THB into (apologies to colin firth and martin freeman). please enjoy my descent into madness

thanks to RuelleMonsters for beta-ing (and the thb support group for indulging my folly)

Chapter 1: Prologue

Chapter Text

“I feel it in my fingers,

 

I feel it in my toes,

 

Love is all around – “

 

“For fuck’s sake, Stu.” Irwin’s voice cuts Dakin off mid-chorus.

 

I’m getting too bloody old for this shit, Dakin thinks to himself as he looks around the studio and realises he’s surrounded by backing singers who can’t be more than half his age. He pushes the depressing thought away and turns his attention back to his long-suffering manager, who’s sitting on the other side of the glass looking like he’d rather be anywhere else.

 

“Did it again, didn’t I?” Dakin sighs. “Shit. Tom, you know this wouldn’t keep happening if you’d just let me sing the proper lyrics. Then maybe we could all knock off early and get pissed instead.”

 

“Tempting as that sounds, Stuart, I’ve got the label riding my arse to deliver them a Christmas number one, and somehow I don’t think a straightforward cover’s going to cut it.”

 

“So there’s nothing I can do to change your mind about the Christmas gimmick? We both know it’s shit.”

 

“Of course it is, but it’s shit that sells .”

 

“I don’t want to make a sodding Christmas record. You know I hate Christmas, Tom.”

 

“Well, you’d better start pretending you don’t, because right now this song’s the only thing standing between you and bankruptcy. Let’s go for another take, shall we?”

 

“Fine,” Dakin groans as the track starts up again and the backing singers chime in with their saccharine oohs and aahs. He begrudgingly joins in for the godawful chorus (rewritten by the label at Irwin’s behest):

 

“I feel it in my fingers,

 

I feel it in my toes,

 

Christmas is all around me,

 

And so the feeling grows…”

 

The only feeling growing inside Dakin is the hope that the rest of the session is mercifully quick so that he can drag Irwin away from work for once and the two of them can go for a drink. He’s been asking for weeks but Irwin always insists he’s far too busy managing his other clients – though truthfully Dakin suspects it’s because if he agreed then Irwin would have to admit that they’re actually friends. Which of course they are – Irwin may be bitchy and impossible to please, but he wouldn’t have stuck around all these years if he didn’t have a soft spot for Dakin. On the other side of the glass, Irwin fidgets with his glasses in a way that Dakin’s long since accepted he finds adorable, and Dakin tries to push aside any thoughts about the faraway look in Irwin’s eyes that he’s started to notice whenever Irwin watches him sing.

 

“It’s written in the wind,

 

It’s everywhere I go,

 

So if you really love Christmas,

 

Come on and let it snow…”