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Chapter Text

It’s almost typical that an earthquake hits Los Angeles so soon after Eddie starts his new job as a firefighter with the 118. An earthquake of 7.1 magnitude, no less. And Eddie thought single-handedly removing a grenade from a guy’s leg had been high stakes. The army was getting some competition already.

He’s currently on the 11^th floor of the Hollywood Palms Hotel, which is ironically leaning a little like a palm tree after it partially collapsed and the higher levels became detached. From the street they had seen a man pressed up against the glass of a window, unable to move because of the angle that the hotel was now leaning. Eddie had volunteered to go up to try to rescue him.

The angle of the floors are precariously steep up here, and Eddie and the firefighter he’s been paired with – a firefighter called Lena Bosko, recently transferred to the 118 from the 136 – are climbing down the corridor half on the carpeted floor and half on the wall.

“Hello?” Eddie calls out, “Hello! LAFD!”

He hears two separate male voices call “In here!” and “We’re in here!”

He and Lena work together to cut the door lock and secure themselves, before breaking the door open.

Inside they find not only the older man in a bath robe dangerously trapped against the window, but also a young man in the uniform of the hotel staff, who is pressed against one of the room's large gold pillars. Eddie recalls Captain Chief Williams reporting to Bobby that all but twelve of the sixty-eight hotel staff had been accounted for. Eddie and Lena just found another.

“Thank god,” the younger man in the hotel uniform says. He sounds weirdly unpanicked for someone at risk of plummeting eleven stories down.

Eddie tells him to sit tight and that he’ll come and get him.

“Ok,” the younger man says.

“No offense,” the bath robed man pressed to the window shouts back at them, “But how is he the priority here?”

Eddie is surprised when any fear on the younger man’s face gives way for indignation, “Did you just say ‘no offence’?!” he demands of the bath robed man, “Everything about you is offensive!”

“Is that really how you should be speaking to paying guests?” Lena teases, as she and Eddie edge further into the room.

“Absolutely!” the younger man protests, “When said paying guest asks a member of staff to his room and orders them to shower with him! I have been sexually harassed! Seriously man,” he shouts at the bath robed man again, “Have you not watched the news at all over the past year?!” The young man precedes to list an impressive selection of facts about sexual harassment figures and news stories from the past year.

It gives Lena enough time to start lowering Eddie via rope further down into the room towards the man on the window.

“Seriously though,” Eddie says in support of the hotel worker, “He’s right, catch up with the times.”

“Alright fine, so I’m a dinosaur!” the bath robed man declares, “A forgotten relic of a forgotten age! A product of my time! For god’s sake just get me the hell out of here!”

“None of that is an excuse for your behaviour!” the hotel worker hollers back.

While Eddie tries to move some furniture to get to the bath robed man, Lena calls to the hotel worker that she is throwing him a rope and that he needs to secure himself.

Again, the young man sounds less afraid than determined when he says ‘ok’, and calls that he’s ready for Lena to throw the rope.

The aftershocks of the earthquake hit not long after that. The aftershocks cause furniture to shift into the bath robed man and the glass that had started to web beneath him gives way before Eddie can reach him. He falls to his death. Eddie doesn’t have the time to internally criticise himself on not doing enough, not acting quickly enough, because the tremors send the young man sliding down the room. He’s managed to secure himself with the rope Lena threw down to him, but Eddie still catches him before he can topple all the way out of the broken window and end up dangling on the line. Eddie and the hotel worker teeter at the edge of the window, gripping onto each other.

He is a little taken aback when the hotel worker doesn’t scream, doesn’t panic, just sends him a sheepish, terrified grin and says “Well that was close.”

Eddie doesn't have time to try to start figuring this guy out though, as Lena starts to pull them back up the room and eventually, they step out into the unnaturally angled corridor.

“Thanks guys,” the hotel worker breathes in relief.

“Don’t thank us just yet,” Lena warns light-heartedly, “We have to get down first.”

“I have every faith,” the hotel worker says, “I’m Buck, by the way. What are your names?”

“I’m Eddie,” Eddie replies, “This is Lena.”

“Nice to meet you both, and thanks for coming to rescue me."

Neither Eddie nor Lena tell Buck that they had actually climbed all this way up to try and rescue the man that had been sexually harassing Buck.

"And I'm sorry about...about Mr Harlow," Buck says, and he genuinely looks upset that the man didn't make it. "There was nothing more you both could have done," he adds, reassuring them, which... Eddie doesn't think he's ever rescued someone quite like this before. 

They make their way towards the stairs, Lena in the lead, and Eddie following Buck to make sure he’s ok. Eddie isn’t surprised Buck is pretty adept at manoeuvring the obstacle of the lopsided corridor; Buck’s hotel staff uniform is tight enough that Eddie can see Buck is pretty fit – physically, obviously, not attractively, well no, actually, he’s fit in that sense too but… -

“You think he’ll still be on the sidewalk when we get down there?” Buck's voice is haunted, and he’s looking back at Eddie like he’s just realised that that might be a possibility. Eddie's seen it plenty of times before; Buck's experiencing survivor's guilt for something that wasn't his fault. 

“No,” Eddie tells him firmly, “And we’re not going to be going out that side anyway.”

Buck doesn’t look particularly comforted regardless.

They potentially aren’t going to be going out of the side Eddie suggests either, when they reach the stairs and realise they can’t take them. It leaves the elevator shaft as their only option. Buck doesn’t even so much as complain. He even helps them, when they hear a voice calling for help and find a man with a spinal injury. Eddie and Lena fashion him a backboard out of an ironing board Buck finds in one of the rooms.

As Lena sets up the ropes to lower the man on the makeshift backboard down the elevator shaft, Eddie takes a moment to check his phone. They are in a dangerous situation. He knows that. He knows there’s a high chance more aftershocks will come, or that the hotel might give up and collapse before they can make it out, or that the elevator could come hurtling down and take them all out. All he wants is to be able to talk to Christopher. He wants to make sure that Christopher is safe. He hasn’t heard from him since he left him at school that morning, and he just prays that the school has decent earthquake protocols and that Christopher is fine.

He finds that there’s still no service. His texts still wouldn’t get through even if he tried.

“Who are you trying to get a hold of?” Buck asks him, sitting down next to him for a brief moment of respite before the abseil down.

“My son,” Eddie says, “I’m trying to reach my son.”

“You got a kid?” Buck asks with enthusiastic interest, like they are two friends sharing a drink in a bar and not eleven stories up in a collapsing hotel. 

“Yeah. Christopher.” Eddie turns the phone around to show Buck his phone's lockscreen picture, “He’s seven.”

Buck’s face lights up at the sight of Christopher, “And super adorable! I love kids. I worked on a ranch for a bit that ran horse riding lessons, you know? And I was a lifeguard for a while and taught surfing lessons. So yeah, love kids.”

“I love this one,” Eddie says, “I’m all he’s got.” He doesn’t know why he adds “His mother’s not in the picture.” But he does.

Buck just nods sympathetically, “He’s at school?”

“Yeah.”

“Hey, I’m sure he’s fine,” Buck says, squeezing Eddie’s shoulder; again comforting him when Eddie’s the one doing the rescuing, “You know, after Northridge, FEMA spent $200 million retrofitting every school in the LAUSD; ceiling tiles, lighting fixtures…Eddie, your kid is in the safest place he can be.”

Eddie sends Buck a small smile. After all the action, this is the first time he has looked at Buck's face properly. He takes in Buck's blond styled hair, his dazzling boyish smile, and his eyes, that when lit in the light of day rather than the dimness of a collapsing hotel, are probably a bright shade of blue. He’s handsome, Eddie can’t deny that.

And, it turns out, that Buck is a bit of an action man too.

Lena is already moving herself and the backboard down the elevator shaft by the time Eddie gets Buck hooked up and ready for them both to descend after Lena.

“I’ve done some abseiling,” Buck says, “So you don’t have to worry about me so much, just make sure he gets down ok.” He gestures down the elevator shaft to the man with the spinal injury.

Eddie smiles and nods. And while Buck is right, he is good with the lines, Eddie still keeps an eye on him regardless, keeping pace with him as they lower themselves down.

They make it out. Eddie and Lena go to help Bobby and Chim rescue Hen.

By the time Eddie makes it back outside he finds that Buck is still there, perched in the back of an ambulance.

“How are you doing, Buck?” Eddie asks.

“I’m fine,” Buck says, loudly, like he’s trying to convince the paramedic of that fact, “Thanks to you. Have you heard from your kid’s school?” Buck asks.

Eddie shakes his head, “Still no signal.”

“He’ll be fine,” Buck tells him.

“Because of the $200 million retrofitting, right?” Eddie quotes.

Buck seems to light up at Eddie remembering what Buck had told him about the earthquake retrofittings in schools. “Exactly!” Buck says.

He sends Eddie a particularly lovely smile, and Eddie can’t help but grin back.

He’s about to ask Buck more about how he’s doing - because Eddie has a feeling Buck is burying things under a breezy smile, because Eddie knows internalising very well, he’s a master at it - but bizarrely, Chim beats him in speaking to Buck.

“Buck?” Chim says, coming to stand beside Eddie, taking in Buck's appearance, “You work in this hotel now?”

“Well, I did,” Buck grimaces, looking at the wreckage of the hotel, “Maybe not anymore.”

Chim pulls an apologetic face, “Where were you?”

Buck points upwards, “Eleventh floor. The guy against the window? I was in the same room, getting sexually harassed. Eddie and Lena rescued me. Not from the sexual harassment, the earthquake saved me from that, but…well, not saved, the earthquake wasn’t a good thing of course but…” He trails off, looking embarrassed, and then Eddie watches as Bobby comes into view and Buck and Bobby clock each other, and then Buck’s expression turns almost guilty, “Captain Nash,” Buck says meekly.

“Buck,” Bobby sighs, “Why am I not surprised?”

Eddie is confused. So confused that he excuses himself with an apologetic smile at Buck and follows Chim and Bobby as they head towards where Hen is being checked over. They clearly know Buck, and with Buck’s physique and cool head in a crazy situation, Eddie wonders if Buck might have worked for another firehouse at some point.

“You guys know Buck?” he asks.

“Of course we know Buck,” Chim says, “Possibly the unluckiest guy in LA, and that’s coming from the guy who got a rebar through the head.”

It takes Eddie aback, “Unlucky how?”

“The only reason we know Buck is because we’ve responded to enough incidents that he’s either been involved in or witnessed.” Bobby says, “We first met him when he was working as a bartender…”

“And then as a bouncer,” Chim chips in.

“So, we responded to enough bar brawls and incidents to start to recognise his face,” Bobby finishes, “To the kid’s credit, he de-escalated a number of situations before we arrived, and helped people who had been injured. But quite often he was also injured in the process.”

“Because Buck doesn’t just have a bad case of ‘wrong place wrong time’,” Chim explains, “He also seems to get injured a lot. There was the time he choked on bread during a date and we were the closest response unit…”

“He had a crush injury after a car pile-up,” Bobby continues with a frown, “That was a tough one.”

“Yeah,” Chim agrees, “It was. Bystanders ended up helping us physically lift the vehicle off him.”

“He got pinned under a car?” Eddie says, glancing back at the ambulance Buck was still sitting in. Jesus! Choking, getting crushed under a car, and then getting caught up in the destruction of an earthquake? Poor Buck really did have some bad luck.

“It was a truck,” Bobby corrects.

Shit. Really bad luck.

“So, it’s a good job you and Lena got acquainted with him really,” Chim pats Eddie’s shoulder as he passes him to carry on towards Hen, “This won’t be the last you’ll see of Buck, I guarantee it.”

Eddie raises an eyebrow at Bobby, but the Captain just shrugs with a defeated air that has a strange amount of fatherly concern for someone who is not much more than an acquaintance to him, “If first responders had ‘regulars’, Buck would be one," Bobby says, "This may well not be the last time we see him.”

Eddie glances back at the ambulance. He knows that with each emergency the 118 responds to, they should hope not to see the person they are responding to again after that. But Buck? Eddie cannot help but hope that maybe he might run into Buck again somewhere, sometime in the future. Preferably not in another emergency though. And definitely not an earthquake. Eddie has had his fill of those for a good long while. He imagines Buck has too.

Chapter Text

They respond to a 9-1-1 call from the Los Angeles Bodybuilding Regionals at Muscle Beach, where one of the competitors has gotten locked in a double bicep pose. The bodybuilder has an extreme case of hyponatremia, or ‘charley horse’ – “he is a charley horse,” Chim jokes – and Hen is not the least surprised when they immediately find out that the bodybuilder’s name is actually Charlie. Hen’s job is ridiculous sometimes. 

They wheel Charlie towards the ambulance while Bobby berates Taylor Kelly and her cameraman for filming Charlie’s distress.

Eddie abruptly comes to stop, and Hen walks right into the back of him.

“Eddie!” she protests, “What the hell?” she turns to see what Eddie is looking at.

Surprise, surprise, Buck is walking towards them.

“Hi guys!” Buck says, “What are you doing…holy…is he stuck in a double bicep pose? Wait…” Buck peers around Hen to look back towards Bobby, “Is that Taylor Kelly?”

“Buck,” Hen says, to get his attention back, “What are you doing here?”

Buck is shirtless, and the beach shorts he is wearing bears the logo of the events company that’s hosting the bodybuilding regionals.

“I’m working,” Buck says.

“You’re bodybuilding?” Eddie asks, sounding totally casual and conversational when he says it, like the sight of Buck's toned torso and huge biceps hadn’t literally stopped Eddie in his tracks. Buck clearly hadn’t noticed, but Hen did, and she will not forget. This is at least two weeks’ worth of good-natured ribbing material.

“Who…who me?!” Buck stumbles over his words, sounding both flattered and self-deprecating as he gestures at himself, “I'm nowhere near hench enough for that!” he turns and points towards a temporary bar that has been set up for the spectators, “I’m working at the bar. Been picking up a few temporary jobs until I find something permanent. I just got on my break and saw the commotion. Is he ok?”

“He will be,” Chim says, “So the hotel didn’t work out, then?”

Buck shrugs good naturedly, and even though Eddie’s eyes are shaded by sunglasses, Hen can practically sense how his eyes follow the movement of Buck’s shoulders. “They are still planning the rebuild and it’s going to take a while, so I thought I’d move on and find something new.” Buck glances behind Hen, “Captain Nash.”

“Buck,” Bobby responds, finally joining them after scolding Taylor Kelly.

“Sorry, I’ll let you guys get on with your job. Get well soon, man!” Buck calls to Charlie. He gives them all a cheery wave and heads off towards the beach, calling a girl’s name and jogging to catch up with her.

“That guy has had more jobs than he has had accidents,” Chim comments as he and Hen climb into the back of the ambulance.

“Surely that’s a good thing?” Hen says.

“Not when you consider how many accidents he has actually had.”

“Fair point.”

The day somehow gets crazier from there. They all share round some brownies before the next call, and the next thing Hen knows, she, Eddie and Lena are as high as kites at a kids beauty pageant. Athena does not appreciate Hen telling her that she smells of love and that her head is beating like her heart as much as Hen hopes she would.

Eddie cries. Hen tries to store that away for additional ribbing ammunition but the room is currently glittering like a diamond and everyone is beautiful, so she may well forget.

Later, Chim tells them that Athena told him the police just throw food parcels from the public right in the trash.

“But we’re firefighters,” Lena says, “Everybody loves us.”

“That’s what I said!” Chim agrees, pointing at her.

“Maybe we should be more careful though,” Hen suggests. She would rather not be put back under Athena and Chim’s stares of exasperated disapproval again anytime soon, “Maybe we should test food that comes in, or only accept it from people we absolutely trust?”

“You’re only saying that because you don’t want us to stop enjoying Buck’s batches.” Chim knows her too damn well.

“Buck’s what now?” Eddie asks. Surprise, surprise.

“Whenever we save Buck he brings us the most amazing cookies and brownies and cake,” Chim says, “Didn’t you know? Those chocolate chip cookies we all had two days after the earthquake? Remember those?”

From the looks of surprise on Eddie and Lena’s faces, they absolutely did remember the cookies. Because of course they did. They hadn’t had anything half as good as those cookies gifted to the firehouse since.

“They were from Buck?” Eddie asks.

“He worked in a bakery at some point,” Chim said.

“How is this guy only in his twenties?” Lena says, “How many lives has he lived?!”

“He definitely has at least nine of them,” Chim says, and everyone groans at the joke, “What?”

“Yeah, well,” Hen says, “Let’s hope he’s not going to be using up any more of those nine lives anytime soon. No matter how good his baking is.”

***

Buck pulls his jeep into the gas station and cuts the engine. He sighs. It’s been a hell of a few weeks. He’s been working with an events company for a few months now, taking almost every type of job they offer him and the weeks leading up to Halloween have been crazy. He’s spent several days dressed up as various characters for kids Halloween events. Halloween was actually yesterday, but there was one last event scheduled, so he’s currently got a Captain America costume on under his real clothes.

It’s a living, until he can find something regular and permanent that he wants to do. And he can’t say it hasn’t been wildly varied, so he isn’t complaining. He likes doing a job that isn’t the same thing day in day out.

He’s about to head into the gas station to buy a snack, when he sees a lady tottering towards her car with a bag of chips in her hand. She has a pretty nasty looking bump on her forehead, but honestly? He’s seen so many fake grisly injuries in the last week, he almost doesn’t give her a second look. He actually grins when he sees how she’s gone all-out for Halloween with the body draped over the hood of her car; its head looking like it’s going through the windshield. It’s effective.

But then he sees the body’s foot move.

Holy shit. That’s a real person! And the woman is just sitting in the driver’s seat and…driving away? With someone smashed through her windshield? What the hell?! Then he remembers the bump on her forehead, and realises that the wound probably isn’t fake, either.

“Oh whoa! Hey, hey, hey! Hey! Lady, lady!” he tries to chase after her car, but she doesn’t stop. “Damn it!” Buck swears and runs back to his jeep.

As he pursues her car, he calls 9-1-1 on his hands-free.

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”

“My name is Evan Buckley,” he says, calm, because god knows he’s made enough of these calls in his lifetime. He is kind of glad it’s not Maddie on the other end of the line at the dispatch centre though, because god knows she’s heard his voice enough times on these calls, too. “I’m going south down Vermont following a gold, 4-door Sedan. There is a man embedded in the windshield.”

“Sorry, did you say in the windshield? We had a report about that yesterday. Is that real?”

“Uh, yeah, it’s definitely real,” Buck says. Shit. Clearly someone called it in yesterday and it was dismissed as a Halloween prop, just as Buck almost did. That man has been in there for a day?! “And I think he’s alive.” Buck knows that there is something wrong with the female driver – her head injury – and Buck’s worried she might cause an accident. He says “I’m gonna approach the vehicle right now.”

The dispatcher tries to tell him not to, but Buck knows he has to get this lady off the road. He pulls his jeep up alongside hers and tries to call to her through his open window “Ma’am! Ma’am! Pull over your car!” She doesn’t listen – it’s like she doesn’t even see him – so he speeds up, and swings the jeep around to block her. He’s grateful that she stops.

He jumps out the jeep only for the woman to get out her car and tell him “You are a horrible driver! You are right in my way!”

Buck holds up his hands in earnest defence, “Ma’am, please. Have you hurt yourself recently?” the bump and cut on her head look pretty bad, and he’s pretty sure her pupils aren’t doing what they should be in the glare of the headlights.

“What? What do you mean?” the woman asks.

Buck is about to answer, when he hears the man embedded in the windshield groan.

“Uh, you just stay right here, ok?” Buck begs the lady, before ducking into the front seat to check on the man. Buck lifts his arm to comfort him, but he knocks the glass of the windshield. Typical, Buck thinks, as the webbed glass partially shatters down on him. “Sir?” Buck says, “Sir? Can you hear me? Help is on its way.”

Help comes in the form of the 118. Because of course it does. Buck would never be so lucky. Don’t get him wrong; he likes the 118, of course he does. Captain Nash, Hen, Chimney (Buck still doesn’t know why they call him that) and their newest recruits Eddie and Lena. They are all super nice and amazing at their jobs. But Buck feels like he’s getting a reputation at this point. A reputation for being a clumsy idiot and a source of great exasperation.

It’s like every single time he goes somewhere, he or someone else gets into trouble, and it always seems to be the 118 that responds to the 9-1-1 call. Even when he’s not anywhere near their station, they always seem to coincidentally be the closest response unit to wherever he is.

Some would call it fate. Some would call it bad luck. Buck is the personification of bad fucking luck.

Chim and Hen greet him like he used to greet regulars at the bars he’s worked at, and the restaurants, and the hotel, and the bakery, and the time he ran aqua aerobics sessions at a holiday resort in Florida. He actually feels sheepish now every time Captain Nash’s gaze lands on him and doesn’t seem the least bit surprised – but sometimes looks a little worried – to see Buck standing there at the scene of an emergency.

“Captain Nash,” Buck greets, like always does.

“Buck,” Captain Nash responds, like he always does. Because it’s almost routine now. For god’s sake!

Now, Buck knows, the routine will undoubtedly go one of two ways: the ‘kind of proud’ direction or the ‘kind of exasperated and concerned at how unlucky you are’ direction. Buck knows which one he prefers.

“Heard you called this one in,” Captain Nash says, and yes! The ‘kind of proud’ direction! “And that you managed to pull the driver over. Well done, Buck.”

“Thanks,” Buck can’t help but be pleased.

Buck waits while the 118 work to free the man from the windshield. He wants to make sure the man is ok before he will inevitably have to give a statement to the police. He’s given enough of those too so he knows the drill. Another ambulance has arrived at the scene and Hen and Chim are with the other paramedics, filling them in so that they can take over. Buck guesses the 118 must be at the end of their shift.

Buck can’t help but look for Eddie. Buck likes Eddie. How can he not when Eddie was one of the firefighters that saved his life during the earthquake? Eddie had been calm, and cool under the stress of the disaster, and had kept Buck reassured too. Buck had also seen another side to Eddie, when Eddie had talked about his son. So yeah, he likes Eddie. He’s super nice, and ridiculously hot. So much so that Buck probably made a right fool of himself when he’d seen the 118 again at Muscle Beach, tripping over his words when Eddie had asked him if Buck was there as a bodybuilder. Buck had majorly embarrassed himself by pointing out that he wasn’t anywhere near as muscled as the competing bodybuilders. Ugh. Way to mistake Eddie’s conversational question for a compliment. Buck is such a disaster sometimes. ‘A bi disaster’ as Maddie likes to teasingly call him. 

Buck is already embarrassing himself again, because Eddie looks over and catches Buck staring at him like some kind of creeper. But to his surprise, Eddie smiles warmly at him, changing direction to stroll over to him, so maybe Buck hasn’t completely weirded Eddie out. Yet. The ‘yet’ is inevitable.

Eddie’s gaze drops and he frowns, gesturing at Buck, “Want me to check you out?”

Buck’s confused, before he looks where Eddie’s looking, and sees that his sleeve is soaked in blood. “Oh, nah, it’s not mine,” Buck says, figuring it must have come from the injured man when Buck was reassuring him, “I have another shirt in my…” but then he pulls up the sleeve of his zip-up sweater, and he finds that the sleeve underneath is also soaked with blood, and that there’s a long cut through the material and Buck’s forearm. He must have cut his arm when the glass of the windshield shattered. “Maybe,” Buck corrects, stomach turning.

Eddie takes his hand, face pinched with concerned concentration, as he lifts it up and Buck sees more clearly in the light how the dark blue of the sleeve is darkened with blood. He stares at the amount of bright red on his hand. There’s a lot.

“You should know,” Buck says faintly, looking at Eddie, a little afraid all of a sudden, “I’m…I’m on blood thinners.”

Eddie’s face hardens into the face Buck saw a lot of during the earthquake – his serious ‘firefighter’ face – and he grasps Buck’s upper arm more firmly. “Come on, let’s get you in an ambulance. I’ll check it out.”

“Are you…a medic too?” Buck asks dumbly as Eddie guides him towards the 118’s ambulance.

“I was a medic in the army,” Eddie tells him, like he’s reassuring him that he’s capable, but honestly, Buck would have trusted Eddie either way.

“Eddie?” Hen asks as Buck and Eddie approach the open doors of the ambulance, “What’s up?”

“Buck’s cut his arm,” Eddie tells her, “He’s on blood thinners.”

“Of course he is,” Hen teases warmly, and Buck rolls his eyes at her, because while he and Captain Nash have a routine by now, he and Hen have one too, “Why exactly are you on blood thinners, Buck?”

“After the erm…my leg got crushed that time with the…”

“Yeah, we remember,” Chim says.

Buck grimaces. He is still so grateful for how much the 118 had done that night to rescue him, but he knows how awful that whole pile-up call must have been for the first responders. He shouldn’t have assumed that they’d have so easily forgotten.

“Well, they had to put some rods and screws in my leg. But then because I may have pushed too hard to get back on my feet, I suffered from a pulmonary embolism. It was super embarrassing, I actually collapsed at a party to celebrate my recovery.” He doubts they will be surprised such a thing happened to him. He doesn’t mention the fact he'd coughed up blood as well. Maddie had been beside herself. “They put me on blood thinners to stop any more blood clots and are monitoring me. They think the screws in my leg might actually be the problem, but they are also helping fix my leg so…” he shrugs, “Blood thinners for now. And hopefully it will all go away once they take the screws out.”

He stops, embarrassed, because they are all staring at him. He doesn’t blame them. He genuinely sounds like a walking disaster.

“Buck,” Eddie says, and Buck waits for some kind of ‘I’m sorry your life is a mess’, but all Eddie says is, “I need to take a closer look at your arm. Can you take off your sweater? This undersleeve is pretty tight, I might have to cut it…”

Buck doesn’t remember why he should have said no to the sweater coming off until it is and they are all staring at him. “What?” he asks, before glancing down at the star on his chest. Oh yeah, he’s dressed as Captain America. “Please don’t,” he groans at them, “Please don’t say anything.”

“Well, I mean, we have to at least know why?” Chim says, like he’s trying hard to bite back a laugh.

“Work,” Buck grumbled, “I’ve been working Halloween events all week.” He eyes Hen and Chim, expecting them to burst into laughter, and although it looks like they want to, they don’t.

Eddie just takes him in and says, “It suits you,” and starts cutting the cuff of the skin-tight sleeve so that he can inspect Buck’s injury.

Buck is glad Eddie’s looking away so he doesn’t see Buck’s face flushing, because honestly, Buck, Eddie's only trying to make you feel better because you're humiliated. Buck also tries to ignore whatever look is passing between Hen and Chim.

“Man,” Buck complains when he realises “The events company is probably going to take the cost of the costume out of my wages.”

“Sorry,” Eddie murmurs, concentrating on folding back the sliced sleeve. Buck likes Eddie’s hands. He has gentle fingers and…and don’t get side-tracked, Buck.

“Oh, it's not your fault! It was already ruined,” Buck reasons cheerfully, “My blood’s all over it.”

“I despair,” Chim announces, before saying “Hey Cap.”

“Oh, don’t start with the ‘Cap’ stuff,” Buck complains, looking at him, before realising that Chim wasn't joking about the Captain America costume, he was addressing Captain Nash, who has come up to the back of the ambulance.

Captain Nash’s eyebrow arches at the sight of Buck’s costume and Chim sniggers, the traitor.

“What’s happened?” Captain Nash asks, eyeing where Eddie is already cleaning Buck’s forearm of blood to inspect the damage.

“He cut himself on the windshield glass,” Eddie reports, “Sorry, Buck,” he adds softly, as Buck winces at the sting of whatever Eddie’s cleaning the blood away with. Eddie then carries on “The cuts look pretty shallow, luckily, so they won’t take much to seal. But he’s on blood thinners,” he glances at Captain Nash, “I would prefer he gets checked out at the hospital.”

“That really isn’t necessary…” Buck starts.

“It absolutely is necessary,” Captain Nash corrects, “We’ll take you on our way back to the 118.”

“But my statement…” Buck tries.

“The police can take your statement at the hospital.”

“My car…”

“The police will sort that too,” Captain Nash says, brooking no argument, “Hen, Chim, if you wouldn’t mind telling Lena to drive the fire truck back, and if you could drive the ambulance. Eddie and I are going to sit back here with Buck.”

“Why do I feel like I’m in for a lecture?” Buck says, as the doors slam shut behind Hen and Chim as they abandon him and his unfortunate lack of verbal filter with the hot ex-army medic and the resigned-to-the-fact-Buck’s-an-idiot fire captain.

Captain Nash sighs, “I’m not going to lecture you, Buck.”

“Captain Nash…”

“Please, call me Bobby,” Captain Nash says, “I think we know each other well enough for that by now.”

“Bobby,” Buck corrects sheepishly, already mentally reminding himself he will need to change his routine greeting the next time he inevitably sees Bobby Nash and the 118.

“I was talking to the police and some of the other paramedics,” Bobby says, as the ambulance starts up, “Apparently the driver hit the man two days ago, not yesterday. She hit her head pretty hard during the impact and they think she probably has a brain bleed, which would explain why she was so confused. She should recover. The man in the windshield will have to have surgery, but they think he has a fair chance too.”

Buck is so relieved that both the man and woman are hopefully going to be ok, and he’s about to say so, when Bobby adds “And it’s because you jumped in there and saved them. It probably didn’t even occur to you to worry about yourself.”

“Yeah, I know, I know,” Buck sighed, “I didn’t think, just rushed in like I always do…”

“Like I said, this isn’t a lecture, Buck. You saved two lives today,” Bobby interrupts, “You did the right thing.” He regards Buck with some curiosity, “Have you ever considered training as a firefighter?”

It takes Buck by surprise. Pleasant surprise, because Bobby is complimenting him. “Actually…” he starts awkwardly, “Actually, I did start firefighter training last year.”

Eddie, who has been working quietly on cleaning and wrapping his arm the whole time, glances up at him with interest at the same time Bobby asks “What happened?” though he looks like he has already guessed; he was there when Buck’s leg was crushed.

“The pile-up,” Buck says, “My leg. I had to quit the training course. They said once I’ve recovered and been given a clean bill of health I can try again, but until then,” he shrugs, gestures to the Captain America costume, “I guess I’m trying on as many different costumes as I can until I find the one that fits.”

“Well,” Eddie comments, finishing off bandaging Buck’s arm, “We know two people who must be pretty relieved that Captain America turned up to save the day today.”

Buck sends him a grateful smile and Eddie grins back. Wow, his canines are pointy! Wow, his eyes really light up when he smiles! Wow it’s…it’s a great grin, as far as Buck’s concerned.

When they arrive at the hospital Eddie accompanies him in to the desk to fill the staff in on what he’s done for Buck’s arm already and why he needs a check-up. At one point Eddie turns to him and says, “I’m really sorry, I don’t know your full name?”

“It’s Evan,” Buck says, “Evan Buckley.”

Eddie looks like he’s weighing the name up in his mind for a second before he nods and turns to speak once more to the nurse behind the desk.

“What’s Eddie short for?” Buck asks him when Eddie leads Buck towards the seats where he’s been told to wait. He knows Eddie’s surname is Diaz, thanks to the surname printed on the back of his uniform, but he’s realised he doesn’t know what Eddie is short for. “Eduardo?”

“No,” Eddie says, but doesn’t offer the actual answer.

“Edmundo?” Buck guesses.

Eddie shrugs, smirks a little, and Buck knows he’s got it right second time, “Eddie,” is all Eddie says, “Just Eddie.”

“Just Eddie it is,” Buck says.

“You going to be ok on your own?” Eddie asks, handing Buck back the sweater Buck hadn’t even realised Eddie has been holding.

“Sure thing, Just Eddie,” Buck jokes, which, lame, Buckley, just lame.

Eddie seems to take pity on him and just rolls his eyes good naturedly. “Will you be able to get home ok?” Eddie asks, “After the police take your statement, I’m sure they can give you a lift back to your car if you're cleared to drive?”

“I’ll be fine,” Buck dismisses with a smile, “I’ve done this a few times now, believe it or not.”

“I believe it,” Eddie says, but he doesn’t look particularly amused about it.

“Oh, Mr Buckley, it’s you again,” says a voice across the room.

Buck looks over and spots a nurse he's familiar with. “Oh hey, Marlene!” Buck calls to her, “How are Amy and Jack?”

“They’re good, thank you,” says Marlene, looking exasperatedly fond as she always does, “What have you done this time?”

“Just a cut, Marlene,” Buck smiles, “Nothing to worry about!”

Buck turns back to Eddie with the smile still on his face. Eddie’s eyebrows are raised. “Please tell me she doesn’t know you because of how much time you’ve spent here.”

“Uhh…” Buck starts.

And, because he has terrible luck, another of the several nurses Buck knows pretty well by now also picks that moment to walk past and say, “Hi Buck.”

“Hi Tom,” Buck says.

Eddie mutters something in Spanish, but because Buck spent some time bartending in Peru and other countries in Latin America, he understands him; “How can someone be so good when bad stuff happens to them so often?”

Buck is about to answer that it’s probably because Buck is too stubborn to let the bad stuff get him down, because if he did, he would have given up a long time ago now, but he doesn’t get the chance, because Eddie checks his watch and says in English “I’m going to have to get back to the ambulance. Are you sure you…”

“Go, Eddie,” Buck tells him, “And thanks. Thanks for…” he lifts his arm and waves it around lamely and just why. Why is he doing that?!

“Take it easy Buck,” Eddie tells him, seriously.

“You too,” Buck answers back easily, “See you soon!”

Eddie, who was turning towards the exit, stops and throws him a look, “Really, Buck?”

“Oh yeah, right,” Buck shifts, “Yeah, hopefully not…not soon? It was nice to see you again, anyway, though.”

The corner of Eddie’s mouth ticks up into a smile, “Nice to see you again too, Buck.”

***

Two days after they had helped Buck, Eddie arrives at the station for his shift to find Lena, Hen and Chim scoffing down brownies.

“I thought we had sworn off brownies for life?” he asks.

“Not these ones,” Chim tells him with his mouth half-full, “These are Buck’s.”

“He dropped them by earlier,” Lena says, “To thank us for the other day.”

Eddie tries one.

Holy shit.

He has a second one.

***

It’s nearly Christmas, and Eddie has been torn and conflicted over Shannon’s reappearance in his life for weeks now. He still hasn’t even let Christopher know his mother is around and wants to reconnect with him, and he hates himself for keeping that from him. But he’s also terrified; he’s terrified of Shannon leaving again and Christopher being heartbroken all over again.

Christopher wants to go and meet Santa at one of the Christmas markets, so Eddie obliges. He wants, as always, to give Christopher the best Christmas he possibly can, regardless of whether or not Shannon is involved in it.

He’s just leading Christopher up to the line of kids waiting to meet Santa, from which point Christopher has assured him he can ‘take it from there’, when all of a sudden Eddie and Christopher’s way is blocked by an elf. A very tall elf.

“Buck?!” Eddie blurts out, half laugh and half surprise.

Buck should look absolutely ridiculous in the red and green top, the jangly baubles, the green tights, and the red and green hat with the elf ears attached, but somehow he…doesn’t? He just looks cute, and Eddie doesn’t know what to do or say.

He doesn’t have to, in the end, because Buck isn’t talking to him, he’s already crouched down to speak to Christopher.

“Hi Christopher,” Buck says, and Eddie is amazed that Buck has remembered his son’s name, because Eddie is pretty sure he only mentioned Christopher’s name once, while they were at the top of the elevator shaft in the collapsing hotel during the earthquake. “My name’s Buck.” He taps his name tag. “I know your Dad.” He glances up at Eddie. “Well actually, your Dad has saved me twice while he has been at work.”

“He’s a hero,” Christopher tells Buck.

“He is,” Buck agrees easily, and Eddie can tell he means it, “A superhero.”

“Says you, Captain America,” Eddie teases, enjoying the way Buck’s face reddens at the reminder.

“Wait,” Christopher says, “Dad told me he met Captain America at work,” he frowns at Buck, “That was you? But you’re an elf?”

“Well actually,” Buck says, “I’m neither. I’m just a boring old human,” he pulls a face and Christopher laughs, “But, because all the real elves are super busy getting all the toys and presents ready for Christmas, me and some of my human friends,” he gestured to his fellow Christmas elves, “We’ve been given the special job of being elves for the day to help Santa meet some kids and hear what’s on their wish list.”

“That’s a cool job!” Christopher tells him.

“It is,” Buck says nodding, “Not as cool as your Dad’s, but it is very important that Santa gets to hear what everyone wants for Christmas. Do you know what you want for Christmas?”

“Yeah!” Christopher says.

“Good,” Buck pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket and his eyes scan down it, “Ah, there you are, Christopher Diaz right there on the ‘nice list’! You’ve got no trouble here, kiddo.” 

“Thanks Buck,” Christopher smiles at him. 

Buck grins back and stands up. “I’m just going on a break,” Buck tells Eddie, “So I’ll leave you guys to it.”

“Actually,” Eddie cuts in, “Christopher wants to handle this himself. I offered to wait in line with him but he said this is 'private'. So, if you wanted to grab a coffee?”

“Oh,” Buck smiles, “Oh yeah, sure. Sounds good.”

Eddie and Buck get some coffees at a nearby stall and sit together on the edge of a fountain, keeping an eye on Christopher, who is still waiting in line. It’s nice to see Buck outside of any kind of emergency situation. Buck keeps waving back to kids who must have met him earlier in the day, and it is incredibly endearing. Buck seems to be amazing with kids; Eddie still hasn't quite gotten over how great Buck just was with Christopher. 

Eddie gets out his phone to get some photos and footage of Christopher waiting in line. “Christopher!” he calls, waving.

Christopher turns and gives him a big grin.

“You’ve gotta admire the kid,” Buck comments, “Wanting to do it on his own.”

Eddie laughs in proud agreement, “Yeah. He wants to try to do everything on his own these days.”

“Have you got any idea what he’s going to wish for?” Buck asks, and when Eddie turns to look at him, Buck genuinely looks like an overgrown Christmas elf wanting to get in on the Santa gossip.

Eddie wants to smile at him, but the question makes him frown before he can. “I have an idea,” he says. Because Christopher has often wished for one thing.

“Oh?” Buck asks, looking like he’s concerned that he’s overstepped. “And what’s that, if you don't mind me asking?”

Eddie sighs and is totally surprised to find himself admitting “For his mother to come home.”

“Oh,” Buck says again, “You said…you said she’s not in the picture?”

“Yeah, well,” Eddie shifts, “That’s changed a bit, recently. I reached out to her because I needed her help getting Christopher into his new school. And we just kind of ended up…” he trailed off, clearing his throat awkwardly.

“Oh,” Buck says, for a third time, as he catches on, “Well, these things happen. I mean, are you guys…married? Still…married?”

“Technically.”

“Then it’s not like you’re breaking any commandments is it?”

“Yeah,” Eddie agrees, but he’s not sure Buck’s easy acceptance and reassurance is what he's after. He sighs “But I am sneaking around behind my kid’s back with his mother.”

“Christopher doesn’t know?”

Eddie sighs again, “I don’t know what he knows. Kids sense these things, right?” And then suddenly, and he doesn’t know how, or why, because Eddie rarely speaks about his problems to anybody ever, the floodgates seem to have opened and he’s pouring out all his built-up guilt on Buck, “The other day I made her sneak out so he wouldn’t see her there. I’m…I’m trying to protect him. She…she ran out on him. On us. And I guess I’m afraid she might do it again. But that’s also unfair of me, because I ran out on both of them first. When Christopher was first diagnosed with CP I was in Afghanistan, right at the end of my tour. Instead of going back home I reenlisted. I told myself it was to pay the bills.”

“But you were running away too,” Buck summarises. If he’s weirded out by Eddie spilling his guts when they have only actually met three times before, Buck doesn’t show it. Eddie thinks back to the hospital the last time he saw Buck, and how Buck had known several of the nurses and even asked after their kids; maybe Buck is just one of those people that’s a good listener, and that people naturally feel they can talk to about this kind of stuff.

“Yeah. But I got to pretend like it was for a noble cause, serving my country,” Eddie says. Maybe, he wonders, it’s because Buck isn’t a colleague or family member that he feels he is able to talk to him. Maybe it’s because he’s starting to consider Buck a friend. He’s always happy to see him; so long as it’s not Buck that’s in need of medical assistance at an emergency, of course. “But when Shannon broke, nobody thought she was a hero. She just got called evil.”

“And now she wants back in his life?” Buck says.

“Yeah.”

“Well why don’t you let her? Seems like she’s already back in yours?”

“That’s…that’s what’s got me confused. Would I be doing it for Christopher? Or for me?”

Buck sighs and says “Sex complicates everything.”

Eddie flounders, because apparently just Buck saying the word ‘sex’ is enough to make Eddie lose his senses a bit. Eddie mourns the fact that Buck is straight – well, he has to be, right? Eddie had seen how Buck looked at Taylor Kelly and was heading off to spend time with a girl at Muscle Beach, and he had heard it mentioned that Buck’s ex-girlfriend had also been at the pile-up when Buck’s leg had gotten crushed; she’d walked away relatively unscathed – “Yeah,” Eddie just ends up agreeing, “Yeah it does.” He cringes when he realises he hasn’t even asked after Buck, “Anyway, enough about me,” Eddie says, embarrassed, “How are you doing? How’s the arm?”

“Huh?” Buck asks, like cutting his arm was such a minor thing he’s genuinely forgotten, “Oh right, yeah!” he beams at him, “Good as new!” he announces, lifting his arm and waving it around, even though Eddie can’t actually see his arm under the gaudy red and green sleeve. The baubles of his elf outfit are jangling as he moves. “I had a good nurse,” he winks.

Eddie feels his face heat.

Luckily, he’s saved by Buck looking past him and saying, “Oh, hey!”

Eddie turns and sees that Christopher has finished meeting Santa and is being guided down to meet them by another of Buck’s elf friends. He and Buck both stand up to go and greet Christopher.

“How’d it go, pal?” Eddie asks Christopher.

“It went great,” Christopher tells him.

“So, what’d you ask for?” Eddie teases, for the tenth time that day.

“Can’t tell!” Christopher protests, for the tenth time that day, “Santa said he’d work on it.”

Eddie grins “Ok kid,” he says. He thanks the other elf – her name tag says her name is Blair – and then turns back to Buck, “It was good to see you, Buck. Thanks for…well, for listening,” he says. He’s still embarrassed by how much he just spilled about himself, when he’s pretty sure the only things he knows about Buck are some of his past jobs and injuries. He only found out his real name the last time he saw him for god’s sake.

“Anytime,” Buck says, and he sounds like he actually means it. He leans in and says, just for Eddie’s ears, “You have an adorable son.”

Eddie can’t help but smile, because he knows its true, and he’s always proud when other people find out how great Christopher is too. He bends down to pick Christopher up, “Let’s go,” he tells Christopher, sending Buck one last smile before he turns to carry Christopher back towards the car.

"Bye Christopher!" Buck calls from behind him, and Eddie can actually imagine him waving.

"Bye Buck!" Christopher calls back over Eddie's shoulder.

***

The day after he saw Eddie and met Christopher at Santa's Grotto, Buck is busy with the line of kids waiting to see Santa when there’s a commotion across the square.

“What’s going on?” Blair – his closest friend amongst his fellow elves – asks him, because Buck is the tallest elf to probably have ever existed.

Buck peers over the crowds, “I think someone’s fainted or tripped over or something,” he murmurs to her, so the kids can’t hear. It looks like there’s plenty of people around the person to help them, so he concentrates back on his job.

Fifteen minutes later he’s on his break, and he hears a laugh, and he turns, and he closes his eyes, and he says “Don’t. Don’t you say a fucking thing.”

“Honestly,” Hen cackles, “Who knew elves had such potty mouths?!”

All of them are there – Bobby, Hen, Chim, Lena and Eddie – they have all seen him. Oh, for god’s sake. Why do these things always happen to him?! He’s only just got over the Captain America costume ordeal. 

“Bobby,” Buck greets because, you know, the routine.

“Buck,” Bobby greets in return.

“Are they ok?” Buck asks, gesturing in the direction of where the person had collapsed, because he guesses that’s why they are all here. He tries to ignore that his costume is jangling as he moves. He knows the 118 aren’t ignoring it.

“They’re fine,” Bobby assures him, “Didn’t even have to take them to the hospital.”

“Good,” Buck says. He scowls at them all grinning at him. “Well, go about your day, folks…” he shoos them off, “Some of us are dealing with very important Official Santa Business.”

Thankfully, because the 118 are good people, they do show mercy on him and move back towards their vehicles. Eddie lingers behind, though.

“Should I feel bad about the fact that when I found out someone had collapsed at this address, I automatically worried it might be you?” Eddie asks.

Buck doesn’t feel offended. He feels kind of flattered. “Well, it’s a fair assumption to make based on past evidence,” Buck shrugs.

Eddie stares at him in the way he does whenever Buck refers too cheerfully to his past disasters.

“While I’m here,” Eddie says awkwardly, “I wanted to thank you again for yesterday. I didn’t intend to...well, overshare.” Eddie shifts, looking embarrassed in the same way he did the previous evening.

Buck gets the feeling Eddie doesn’t talk much about himself, and that revealing so much to Buck yesterday was a very rare occurrence. Buck doesn’t mind, of course. In fact, he considers it a compliment that Eddie feels he can trust Buck enough to open up and share his conflictions with him. And while sure, Buck was a bit disappointed to find out that the kind, hot firefighter that he’s been sort-of crushing on for a few months now is back together with his wife, Buck knows he’ll get over it. He got over Abby. He got over Ali. He can get over a silly crush on a guy who’s probably straight anyway and, you know, married.

“Don’t worry about it, really,” Buck tells him, “It was nice to see you yesterday, and to meet Christopher. And I hope Christopher gets his Christmas wish.” That also means, of course, that Buck’s also passing on his wishes that Eddie is able works things out with his wife.

Eddie sends him a smile – it’s not as bright a smile as usual, and Buck gathers Eddie's still a little unsure about what he’s going to do about his relationship with his wife – “Thanks Buck.”

Chim calls out “Diaz!” from across the square.

“Sorry Buck,” Eddie gestures to the 118’s vehicles, “Duty calls.”

“Oh totally! I get that,” Buck gestures back towards Santa’s grotto, “Same here.”

Eddie’s grin is much bigger and more genuine this time. He starts to turn to head back to the fire truck, but he pauses to say “Hey, have a good Christmas, Buck.”

“Thanks,” Buck says, “I will.” Buck is going to be spending his first Christmas in years with Maddie, now that she’s finally left Doug and moved to LA. Maddie isn't really in the festive mood this year, which is understandable, so it's going to just be a super quiet one with just the two of them, but Buck's actually really looking forward to it. “I hope you have a great Christmas too, Eddie,” Buck tells him, “I’ll put in a good word with Santa for you.”

Eddie laughs, eyes bright, and oh god, Buck’s not helping himself get over his stupid high school crush on Eddie at all. The sight of Eddie’s ass as he jogs back to the fire truck does Buck no favours in that regard, either.

Chapter Text

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”

“I need police and medical response at 1832 Bryson Avenue! My sister has just been kidnapped!”

“Ok, sir, can I get your name?”

“It’s Evan…Evan Buckley.”

“Buck?”

“Josh? Is…is that you?! Maddie! Maddie’s been taken by Doug!”

“Oh my god…wait, Buck…you said you need a medical response?”

“Yeah, uh, Doug…Doug stabbed me? I…I’m still on the blood thinners. And…and he hit me on the head. But Maddie…agh…”

“Buck, stop! Don’t try to move! The RA unit’s two minutes out. Have you managed to put pressure on the wound? With a towel or a shirt or-”

“Yeah…yeah I’m keeping pressure…”

“Good. That’s good, Buck. Keep talking to me, ok? Can you tell me what happened?”

“I got home from work and the door was wide open. He was trying to drag her out. She was fighting him…I tried to help - stop him. He stabbed me, hit me in the head and I blacked out…by the time I came to she was gone. Please…”

“Listen Buck, don’t worry, I’ve advised the responding units about Maddie. They’ll be with you any moment.”

“He…he found her…Josh…”

“Just stay with me, Buck! The responders are going to be there any second!”

***

Bobby knows he shouldn’t be surprised when they respond to the scene of a stabbing and kidnapping late at night and Chim says “Is that Buck?” Bobby shouldn’t be surprised that it’s Buck lying on his back on the ground. But he is. Especially as it’s Athena who’s currently keeping pressure on the stab wound.

 He can tell Buck is in distress because when he clocks them over Athena’s shoulder, he doesn’t pull his usual sheepish expression and greet Bobby like he always does. He just focuses back on Athena again. The police clearly haven’t been long on the scene themselves, because as they rush up to them Bobby hears Buck tell Athena “It was Doug. Doug Kendall! Maddie’s ex-husband. He told Maddie he would kill her if she left him! He did this! He stabbed me and he took her!”

Athena moves aside enough to let Chim and Hen take over assessing the stab wound.

“Jesus Buck,” Chim says. Usually, he keeps things light and bantering with Buck because Buck seems to appreciate it, but Bobby knows this time Chim isn’t joking in the slightest.

Athena knows Buck too. She responded to a few of the 9-1-1 calls to the bars Buck had been a bouncer or bartender for when he first moved to LA. She had been on call the night of the vehicle pile-up when Buck’s leg had been crushed under the truck, too. So, she knows him well enough that she’s patient with him when he grabs at her arm and continues to try to give her information; “Maddie got away from him and came here…everything was good. She was filing for divorce. I don’t…I don’t know how he found her. He lives in Pennsylvania…”

“If she was filing for divorce,” Athena says, voice calm as she carefully eases Buck’s grasping hand from her sleeve, “That could have put her back on his radar. I need to go and tell Detective Marks what you’ve just told me, Buck, and you have to let the 118 do their job and help you.”

“No! Sergeant Grant! I need to help! I need to help Mad…”

“You’ve been a huge help, Buck,” Athena interrupts, “But you need to focus on you right now, alright?”

Buck’s eyes are filled with tears as Athena moves away to talk to Detective Marks, and Bobby knows it has nothing to do with the physical pain he’s in.

“Hen, Chim,” Buck greets tearfully as Hen and Chim finish inspecting the wound and replace the bloodied shirt balled up in Buck’s hand with a proper compress. Buck’s pale and clearly stressed about whoever it is that has been taken by the man who stabbed him. Bobby’s never seen him look so scared in an emergency before - not even when his leg was crushed - and Bobby knows it’s because Buck is worrying about somebody else, and not himself. Buck’s eyes lift towards Bobby but don’t focus as they should, “Bobby," he finally says.

“Buck,” Bobby returns, because if a little bit of normality is what it takes to help the kid stay calm, then Bobby will do it.

“Hi Eddie,” Buck finishes his greetings quietly, as Eddie moves into the space at Buck’s side that Athena just vacated. Buck looks almost relieved that Eddie is there.

“Hey Buck,” Eddie returns softly. Eddie puts his hand on Buck’s cheek to hold his head still and says, “I’ve just got to check your pupils, ok? I’m going to use a light.”

“Ok,” Buck says, without a hint of wariness, trusting him completely.

“Ok,” Eddie shines the penlight, checks Buck’s pupil response. “Mild concussion,” he reports to Hen and Chim. “How’s he looking?”

Chim nods and reports his own findings, “Vitals are good. The position of the stab wound is non-fatal. He’s kept a pretty good pressure on the wound; he’s not bleeding excessively.”

“In fact, I would say he’s lost as little as you could hope to expect from someone on blood thinners,” Hen says, clearly relieved.

“That’s good right?” Buck asks.

“Yeah, Buck,” Hen says, and she’s using her most soothing, motherly tone, “That’s pretty good, considering. We’re good to move you, so we’re going to get you onto a gurney now and get you to the hospital, ok?”

“Yeah,” Buck says, “I know the drill.” Bobby knows it was intended to be a joke, but Buck’s voice is too tight with worry and stress for it to come out the way he clearly intended.

“You’ll be alright, kid,” Bobby promises him, as they shift Buck onto a backboard and then lift him up onto the gurney.

“I’m not worried about me,” Buck appeals to them desperately, “I’m worried about Maddie.”

“Who’s Maddie, Buck?” Eddie asks.

“My sister.”

Bobby is surprised. He looks up and meets Hen, Chim and Eddie’s eyes over the top of the gurney as they wheel Buck towards the ambulance. They all look surprised too.

“You have a sister?” Chim asks.

“Yeah,” Buck says, like he's surprised that they don't know that - that he's never told them before - “She’s a 9-1-1 dispatcher.”

That raises even more surprise from them all. It shouldn’t really, since all they know about Buck is a string of past jobs, past emergencies and a few accompanying girlfriends, but still, Bobby feels bad that they had to ask; especially when Buck’s sister is a 9-1-1 dispatcher, who has likely spoken to at least one of them during a call at some point in the past year. Bobby will ask Athena to keep him posted on the case of Maddie Buckley. It's the least he can do.

Hen and Chim get into the back of the ambulance with Buck, and Bobby and Eddie head to the fire truck. Bobby sits opposite Eddie in the back of the truck. Although he knows Eddie’s army training has given the younger man the ability to be incredibly composed in emergencies, Bobby can still see the tension in Eddie’s posture and jaw. He knows Eddie is worried about Buck.

Eddie and Lena have been with the 118 for over half a year now, and they have fitted in as seamlessly as Bobby could have hoped; they are good firefighters and good people, and have already become good friends of the team. They are undeniable assets to the team’s collective experience; Lena already has several years of service as a firefighter with the 136, and Eddie has his years of army medic experience. Bobby has no doubt Eddie’s going to pass his probation period with flying colours.

In the last six months Bobby’s come to know Eddie pretty well. Bobby’s seen the growth of Eddie’s fondness and admiration for their team. Bobby’s seen Eddie’s fatherly love and devotion for Christopher, his dedication and appreciation to his grandmother and aunt. He’s seen Eddie unsure but tentatively optimistic about the fragile rebeginning of the relationship he has with his wife. He’s also witnessed plenty of Eddie’s first interactions with people he meets, and how he interacts with people they encounter on their calls and at emergencies. It means that Bobby has noticed that the way Eddie interacts with Buck is somehow different. It’s something Bobby is still trying to figure out.

Eddie and Buck clicked quicker than Bobby has seen Eddie click with anybody he has just met in the last six months. Even with the 118, Eddie’s bond with the team took a little time to grow. In the beginning, they had mostly seen the professional and serious side of Eddie; someone keen to help people, but also gain the trust and respect of his new colleagues, keen to impress them. It wasn’t really until the day that they hosted Christopher at the firehouse when Eddie had nowhere else to take him after his grandma had broken her hip, that they truly began to unearth the side of Eddie that is quick to tease, joins in with japes, and is more open in conversation, because that day Eddie had truly understood that he could trust and rely on the team right back.

With people at calls Eddie is always professional, clinical, getting the job done. With Buck it’s different. Bobby knows that Buck is a different case for all the 118 by now, but even before Eddie had truly known just how regularly Buck was a ‘regular’ acquaintance of the 118, they had clicked quick. When they had first met during the earthquake, Eddie had clearly been surprised and charmed by Buck’s attitude towards an emergency, because he had told Bobby and Chim about it after they had grilled him and Lena about what had occurred inside the hotel. He had recalled his interactions with Buck with a fondness he reserved for tales of family and friends, not people they helped out on calls.

Eddie had liked Buck instantly, which is not just unusual for Eddie, but also unusual when it comes to Buck. Buck is somebody that Bobby, Hen and Chim didn’t instantly like. He grew on them over time. At first, he came across as cocky and foolhardy. At the bars he worked at they would find out he’d thrown himself in the middle of situations he shouldn’t have and gotten himself injured because of it. Originally Bobby was exasperated because he reckoned the kid had some kind of hero complex; blatantly disregarding the safety of himself and others in order to be the one that saved the day. It took a few meetings with Buck for Bobby, Hen and Chim to see past the bravado and realise that actually Buck genuinely just wants to help and is willing to put his life on the line if it means saving someone else. They met him enough times to begin to realise that he is well-intentioned, even if he is sometimes a bit of a dumbass.

Irritated exasperation at Buck quickly morphed into fond exasperation, because once the kid quit being a bouncer, the intentional act of putting himself in harm’s way became less. Then they had just learned the kid was often just unlucky, like the choking on bread incident and the car pile-up. The ‘thank you’ baked goods Buck started gifting the 118 around that time helped to win them over the rest of the way.

Buck also has a habit of coincidentally just being in the vicinity of someone else’s emergency, like the Christmas event or Muscle Beach, or that time he was instructing an aerobics class next door to a Pregnancy Yoga class where several mothers had simultaneously started giving birth. That last one had been one of the more bizarre calls Bobby had taken since joining the 118. Buck had been there the whole time, offering assistance in trying to keep the increasing number of women in labour calm, by discussing Yoga poses he apparently knew the names of and blaming the situation on the full moon; claiming gravity is heavier during full moons and that when a ‘full moon is halfway between the eastern horizon and its highest point it can induce labour’. Ridiculous, of course, but his earnest wish to help was pretty endearing. Buck often happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, like the hotel during the earthquake, but it’s also come to a point where Bobby’s not sure whether it’s as much a case of the right place at the right time too; the man embedded in the windshield the day after Halloween would certainly say so. Bobby had been genuinely impressed by Buck’s quick thinking that day. It’s why he had genuinely asked Buck if he had considered training to be a firefighter, and he hadn’t been all that surprised by Buck’s response that he had started the training course before his leg injury, either.

Long story short, Buck slowly grew on Bobby, Hen and Chim at each emergency they met him at. Eddie, on the other hand, has liked Buck from the very first emergency he met him on. While arguably, Eddie and Lena met a version of Buck that is undoubtedly far more mature than the one Bobby, Chim and Hen first met, Eddie and Buck clearly have a natural rapport with each other.

Bobby has barely heard Eddie speak so softly and fondly to anybody but his own son. He has never seen Eddie touch someone at an emergency with the additional personal gentleness he seems to give Buck. Bobby recognises a blossoming friendship when he sees one. He also recognises what mutual attraction looks like too. He’s not sure Eddie or Buck have realised it yet, but the way they look at each other is a pretty big giveaway.

“Who would do something like this?” Eddie says.

Bobby looks at him. Eddie’s jaw is clenched. 

What kind of a despicable man would abuse, threaten and hurt his wife, and when she tries to leave him, hunt her down, attack her brother and kidnap her? Who would do something like that? Someone Athena is going to do everything in her power to stop, and make sure he pays for his crimes. Bobby knows that much.

When they arrive at the hospital, they help Chim and Hen lower Buck’s gurney from the ambulance. 

“I didn’t know you were married to Sergeant Grant, Bobby,” is what Buck says.

Bobby blinks, and then looks at Hen and Chim. Chim shrugs, “He was asking how our Christmases were on the way here.”

It takes Bobby a second to realise Chim is being serious. Buck is nothing if not full of surprises.

“Sergeant Grant will already be tracking them down, won’t she Bobby?” Buck presses as they wheel him towards the hospital doors. “Because Maddie doesn’t have time for anything other than that! He tried to kill me and he could…he could kill her next.”

“But he didn’t,” Bobby says.

“Bobby…”

“No, Buck, listen,” Bobby tells him, putting a hand on Buck’s shoulder, “He took Maddie. If all he wanted to do was kill her…”

Buck knows. His mouth twists. “Then he would have done it there and then like he did to me.”

“Right,” Bobby says, “And he didn’t. She was alive when he took her and that’s what you need to hold on to right now.”

“Thanks Bobby,” Buck says, but his voice is quiet; tired and devastated.

Bobby has to put an arm out to stop Eddie following the gurney into the hospital. “You know the rules,” Bobby forces himself to say, “Our job ends at the hospital doors.”

Eddie doesn’t protest, but the deliberate composure is still in place. “I’ll come back when our shift ends.” It is not a suggestion.

“We both will,” Bobby tells him. It’ll be the morning by then, and they’ll have worked all night, but they will still come back. “By then Buck should be out of surgery.”

Bobby also hopes that by then, they might have some good news for Buck regarding his sister’s whereabouts and wellbeing. Despite his reassurances to Buck, Bobby’s concerned for Maddie Buckley. He knows from his own job – and from Athena’s work – that the most dangerous time for a woman in such situations is when she leaves. Maddie Buckley clearly knew that; that’s why she was in hiding. But now her abusive ex has found her…those scenarios so often don’t come with a happy ending.

Bobby knows that if Maddie Buckley is anything like her brother, then she will be kind, compassionate, and willing go out of her way to help others; she’s a 9-1-1 dispatcher, she helps people every day. But she will also be stubborn, and someone that never gives up easily. She’s used to advising people in emergency situations like the one she has been forced into, so she will heed her own advice and utilise her knowledge. And if she has the same spirit of determination that Buck does, then Bobby knows she has as good a chance as anyone.

***

It is not just Eddie and Bobby that return to the hospital when their shift ends. Chim and Hen do too.

Chim always ends up being surprised by Buck somehow. This latest incident is no exception. This time they have found out he has a sister who is a 9-1-1 dispatcher.

And, of course, Buck had caught Chim and Hen by surprise when he asked if they’d had good Christmases during the ambulance journey to the hospital --

“Please,” Buck had said when he had noticed the bemused looks they sent each other after he asked them, “Humour me?” He hadn't needed to explain. They had known what he meant. He had needed to distract himself both from the pain he was in and the fact his sister had been kidnapped by her ex. He had known Chim and Hen wouldn't know anything about his sisters’ status, and Chim had had no doubt that the second Buck clocked eyes on someone who did, he would be grilling them immediately, stab wound or no stab wound. But, since all he had for company for that last five minutes of the drive to the hospital were Chim and Hen, he had clearly wanted to keep his mind occupied by something else.

“Mine was good,” Hen had humoured him immediately, “I spent the day with my wife and son.”

Buck had been pale and had lost blood, but he had still managed to smile at her, “I didn’t know you are married, Hen! And that you have a kid! Kids are great. Congratulations.”

“Thanks?” Hen had laughed with a roll her eyes.

“What about you, Chim?”

“I spent the day with the family that pretty much adopted me when I first moved out to the States,” Chim had told him.  

“That’s nice,” Buck had smiled at him. His bravado had already begun to slip a bit; the distraction tactic clearly not working as well as Buck had hoped.

“It was,” Chim had said. It had been nice, to spend the day with Lees. He had missed Kevin like crazy, though. He always misses Kevin. “How was yours?”

“It was nice,” Buck had said, “Quiet. Low-key. Just me and Maddie…” he had trailed off and his eyes had filled with tears for a second before they were blinked away. “Do you know how Eddie’s was?”

“Eddie?” Chim had asked, sharing another glance with Hen, unsurprised, because it’s not hard to notice that Buck and Eddie are pretty friendly already after only a few meetings. “I think he had a good one.”

“What about his wife?” Buck had asked.

Now that had been surprising.

“His wife?” Hen had repeated, and Chim had known what she’d been thinking; Eddie’s a pretty private person, and they weren’t going to reveal anything about him that he might not want people outside the team to know.

“When I was an elf at Christmas Eddie brought Christopher to meet Santa. Eddie filled me in on…” Buck had stopped, as though he wasn’t sure he should be telling Chim and Hen private things about Eddie that they might not know, which was ridiculous, “…a few things.”

Chim and Hen had exchanged another glance and Chim had nodded for Hen to continue.

“Eddie, Shannon and Christopher had a good Christmas,” Hen had said, which had told Buck everything he had wanted to know without revealing too much.

Buck had just given them a small smile and said “I’m glad Christopher got his Christmas wish,” before changing the subject “and Bobby?”

Chim had shrugged, “I think him and Athena had a good day with the kids.”

Buck had gawped at them “Bobby and Athena – Sergeant Grant?”

“Yeah?” Hen had said, before clearly realising at the same time Chim did that Buck hadn't known, “They’re married. Bobby is the step-dad of Athena’s kids.”

“Huh,” Buck had said, just as the ambulance had stopped outside the hospital. “That’s one badass couple, huh?”

Chim hadn't been able to wait to relay that to Cap, so did so five minutes later when they had all gotten back in the fire truck to head back to the station.

“He asked about you too,” Hen had mentioned to Eddie.

The way Eddie perked up was kind of sweet, and kind of very telling, “He did?”

“He asked if Christopher got his Christmas wish; something about Shannon?”

“Oh,” Eddie had said, and sat back. He hadn't been quite able to meet their eyes all of a sudden, “Yeah I kind of spilled my guts to him by accident at the Christmas market when he was dressed as an elf.”

“An oversized elf,” Hen had added.

“Yeah, an oversized elf,” Eddie had said, but his smile hadn't been one of amusement and more one of fondness and jesus, is Eddie sure his ex-wife is the relationship he really wants? Is he oblivious to the fact he is also maybe just a tiny bit crushing on Buck? It doesn't take a scientist to see the levels of chemistry there --

Anyway, Chim and Hen join Bobby and Eddie when they go back to the hospital after their shift to check on Buck and see if there is any news on Maddie Buckley.

They run into Athena on the way in. “He’s tried to leave twice,” Athena tells them, “Detective Marks didn’t believe me. He said no-one could be that stupid. I said, ‘you don’t know Buck’.” She sighs when they ask after Maddie Buckley. “All we got is a four-door sedan, dark in colour,” she frowns, “It doesn’t exactly narrow the search. But we are keeping our eyes and ears open for any reports of unusual behaviour from a couple in a car of that description. He’ll have to stop for gas eventually.”

Bobby and Chim go in to see Buck first.

“Oh, hey guys,” Buck says glumly from his hospital bed, “They won’t let me leave.”

“Well, no,” Chim says, “You’ve been stabbed, Buck.”

“It wasn’t too bad! They’ve already stitched me up, I’m good to go!”

“Not good to go,” Bobby advises, “You lost a lot of blood. You need monitoring.”

“But Maddie…”

“Would surely want you not to put yourself in danger. Is there anyone we can call to come and stay with you? Friends or family you want us to call? Do your parents need to be inform…”

“No!” Buck says, whip-fast, “No. My parents are in Pennsylvania anyway, there’s not a lot they can do from there so there’s no point in worrying them.”

“Ok,” Bobby says slowly, and Chim knows that tone as Bobby's 'I'm going to investigate this at a later date' tone. “Anyone else I could call?”

Buck’s lip wobbles for a moment until he sets his face again and says, with all the childishness of someone still just about young enough to get away with it, “No. I just want Maddie back.”

The words have barely left his mouth when Athena suddenly appears in the doorway like a guardian angel and says, “There’s been a report. I’m following it up. We’re heading out there.”

This does not appease Buck. If anything, he grows tenser and more worried. “Sergeant Grant…what do you think they’re going to find? I mean, he threatened to kill her, you know. He st---he stabbed me. What if, what if he…”

“No,” Athena cuts off his worry, “My gut is telling me not to count your sister out just yet. From what you’ve told me Maddie didn’t just rebuild her life. She rebuilt herself. Her ex may have her, but I don’t think he has any idea who he’s dealing with now. I’ll keep you updated."

She sends a soft smile to Bobby and starts to leave, until Buck, naturally, tries to get up to follow her.

"Boy," Athena spins around in the doorway, "Don't you think about it," she crosses her arms and raises her eyebrow - a classic Athena look of disapproval that Chim is sure Buck's been the target of more than once before - and she sighs heavily when Buck give ups with a wince of pain, easing himself back down to the bed again. "All I can say is it's a damn good job you've got good health insurance."

The light-hearted comment softens the blow of Athena leaving, which Athena clearly intended, but Buck still tries to protest.

“Listen, Buck, listen,” Bobby’s got his fatherly voice on in full force, “Here are the ground rules. Let Athena and the other officers do their job. You don’t leave this bed, you don’t lie to the nurses and try to check yourself out early, you don’t withhold any information. You don’t break the law, and you don’t force anyone into early retirement. Got it?”

Buck sighs and slumps back to the bed, defeated and clearly exhausted, “Got it, Bobby," he says reluctantly.

Chim reckons Bobby’s parenting tactic will only go so far, and that they’d better send Eddie in quick to keep Buck as distracted as possible while Athena chases the lead.

***

Eddie is glad to see Buck awake and with a bit of colour back in his cheeks, though anxiety is set in every inch of his face.

“Hi Eddie,” Buck greets him, and although it’s understandably with less energy and enthusiasm than usual, Eddie can still tell Buck is pleased that Eddie has come to visit him too, “How are you?”

“I’m doing good, Buck,” Eddie says, both unsurprised and amazed that Buck is asking how Eddie is when he is the one in a hospital bed, “How are you doing?”

Buck’s face pinches, “Not great,” he says, “To be honest.”

“I heard you’ve already tried to leave,” Eddie agrees, sitting in the plastic chair at the bedside, “Twice.”

“I know, I know,” Buck sighs, “‘What were you thinking Buck?’ I know. I already got an earful from Sergeant Grant and Captain Nash.”

“No, I understand why you did it,” Eddie says, honest, “I got sisters, too. Just not sure how far you thought you were going to get, though, the condition you’re in.”

“I wasn’t really worried about that,” Buck blinks, and his eyes abruptly fill with tears, “I told Maddie…I said that she didn’t need to keep on running, that she could start over here, that she would be safe. That I would keep her safe.”

Eddie realises that Buck is blaming himself for what’s happened, because of course he is, “This isn’t your fault,” Eddie tells him adamantly, “What if she had kept running? You think he wouldn’t have found her?” he tries a different tact, “Only then, she’d be alone.”

“She’s alone now,” Buck swallows, “With him.”

“Doug, you said his name was?”

“Yeah,” Buck says, and it's not long before the rest of the story tumbles out of him, “I’m nine years younger than Maddie, so I was still in school when Maddie married him. She was just a bit less communicative at first, when she moved away with him, but when I finished school and went travelling, I sent letters to her all the time, but she never replied, and when I came here, she didn’t reply. I thought she just cut everyone off because she was so wrapped up in him but…but that was so stupid,” he groans, “I should have known. He abused her for years and I didn’t know. I only found out the day I got home from work last year and found her in my shower because she’d finally managed to leave him – escape him.” Buck wipes at his eyes with the back of his wrist. Eddie leans over to take a tissue from the box on the bedside table and presses it into Buck’s loosely curled fingers. Buck sends him a watery smile in thanks and presses the tissue to his eyes. “Doug always hated me,” Buck says thickly, “Maddie told me that…that he used to threaten her sometimes by threatening me; said he’d get me to come to the house, or that he’d find me. Guess he finally followed through with it tonight.” He starts and tries abruptly to sit up, “Oh my god! What if she thinks I’m dead?! What if she’s blaming herself?! I…”

“Buck,” Eddie protests, concerned, putting steadying hands on Buck’s shoulders, “Easy, easy.” He manages to ease Buck back down to the pillows. “Take a second. Take a breath, ok? Nice and easy.” He soothes a thumb over the thin fabric of the hospital gown Buck’s got on before he realises what he’s doing and retracts his hands self-consciously. Instead, he searches for something to take Buck’s mind off his worry, if only for a minute or two, and finally settles on “I heard you asked how my Christmas was?”

Buck glances at him, and it’s clear he knows what Eddie’s trying to do, but he relaxes a margin, and does reply, “I’m sorry if it sounded like I was prying or something. I was just trying to take my mind off…” his eyes flick down to the bandaged stab wound, “I didn’t tell Chim or Hen what we talked about at Christmas or anything…”

“Hey, it’s alright,” Eddie sends him a reassuring smile, “Yeah, I had a good Christmas, thanks. Great, actually. Christopher was so happy to see his mom, and she and I, well, it’s complicated. But we’ve agreed to spend time together with Christopher, so I guess we’ll see how it goes.”

“I’m happy that it worked out for you,” Buck sends him a small, earnest smile, “And I’m happy for Christopher.” The small smile turns into an unexpected little smirk, “And I’m glad that I finally have proof that I am, in fact, a real magical Christmas elf that can grant Christmas wishes.”

Eddie rolls his eyes fondly. He can’t help it. “Santa should get you employed already.”

Buck genuinely looks like he’s giving it serious consideration, “I’m sure there would be height restrictions,” he decides, “Either way, they should have paid me more at Christmas. Did you know the US isn’t even in the top ten highest minimum wage countries in the world?”

Eddie stops. He’s heard the odd fact from Buck before, like his knowledge about earthquake retrofitting in schools and sexual harassment statistics, and he’s heard other examples from the team from previous Buck encounters, but Buck’s random general knowledge is still new and random enough to surprise him.

“No,” Eddie says, “I didn’t know that.”

Buck’s smile drops and he fidgets. He seems to consider something, before apparently deciding momentary distraction is helping when he asks “So you…you said you have sisters?”

Again, Eddie surprises himself by being open and honest with someone he’s only actually met a handful of times. But he knows he and Buck have got to know each other under unusual, intense circumstances, so it’s different, he tells himself. And he knows he’ll help Buck by talking to Buck about himself.

“Yeah, two,” he says, “Adriana and Sophia,” and tells Buck a bit about them, and about growing up with them.

Buck tells Eddie a bit about his own Christmas with Maddie, and he also talks a bit more about Doug and how Doug might have found Maddie. Apparently Buck is currently working temporarily as a bartender again, and he suspects Doug might have found out what shifts Buck was working that week because he had clearly known when Maddie would be at home alone. But Buck had come home early from his shift that night, so had likely caught him by surprise.

Eventually the nurse – who Buck inevitably knows by name – comes back to give Buck another dose of drugs.

“You should behave for the nurses, Buck,” Eddie warns him playfully, “Or they’ll all stop liking you so much.”

Buck raises his eyebrows, “Are you suggesting the nurses might dislike me by the next time I visit?”

Eddie fixes him with a scolding look he's pretty sure he's used on Christopher a few times before, “Hopefully there won’t be a ‘next visit’.”

“Well, there is going to be one,” Buck says, and when Eddie is about to protest, Buck holds up his hands in mock-defence, “I have to come for check-ups on my leg and the blood thinners!”

Eddie rolls his eyes, “You know that’s not what I meant.”

Buck sends him a small, soft smile “Yeah, I know.”

Eddie can’t help but smile back.

When the drugs kick in and Buck starts getting sleepy, Eddie excuses himself back to the waiting room and finds Bobby, Chim and Hen still waiting there.

“Athena called,” Bobby tells him, “They have confirmed the lead was Maddie and Doug Kendall, so they are on the right track.”

Eddie wants to rush back into Buck’s room and share the news with him, to lift his spirits, but he forces himself to let his friend sleep. His friend. He didn’t think he’d ever made friends like this with anyone so quickly. In the army he’d had plenty of camaraderie and friendships, but he only really talked about private stuff with only a small number of guys he began to really trust after some time together. That wasn’t how it was with Buck; Eddie confessing way more to Buck than he had intended to at Christmas, and Buck clearly feeling comfortable enough to tell Eddie about Maddie meant that Buck felt he could share with Eddie too. With Buck, that stuff seems to come so easy, and that is very, very rare for Eddie. He decides not to assess what that means too closely, and to just appreciate his quickly fledging friendship with Buck for what it is.

Buck’s asleep, and they all should be too. It’s 8am and they’ve been up all night. The 118 collectively decide to go home, though Bobby says he’ll check in with Buck later and keep them updated when he next hears from Athena.

***

When Eddie gets home, Shannon sends him off to bed for a few hours sleep. He wakes up just before midday and feels guilty for missing most of his Saturday morning with Christopher. He takes a shower and feels better for a fresh set of clothes. He finds Shannon and Christopher in the lounge and he sits next to Shannon on the couch, content to watch Christopher play with his Lego. Being back in Christopher’s orbit is like a balm to Eddie’s frazzled soul.

“I missed the whole morning with him,” Eddie says to Shannon, feeling guilty for it, even though he is glad the team decided to check in on Buck after their shift, especially when Buck hadn’t contacted any other friends or family for fear of ‘worrying anyone so early in the morning’.

“I know,” Shannon says, “But you look much better for getting some sleep. I remember what it was like to live at a hospital. Uncomfortable chairs, terrible food…”

Eddie sends her a remorseful smile, forever grateful for all she had done and gone through alone when Christopher was a baby, and forever ashamed that he hadn’t been there to go through it with her.

“You don’t have to stay,” he tells her, since she does still have her own place, and her own life separate from Eddie and Christopher, “I- I mean if you have stuff to do…”

“No,” she takes Eddie’s hand, “I’m good here.”

Eddie sends her another, easier smile. It's nice, to be sitting beside her again. To be sharing things with her again. It feels familiar and safe.

“Besides,” Shannon says, “With the rate you are checking your phone I imagine you’ll be visiting the hospital again at some point today?”

Eddie puts his phone down sheepishly. Bobby is sporadically keeping them updated on Athena’s progress of finding poor Maddie, who has been missing for about twelve hours now. “Sorry," he says, "Was just checking if Bobby had sent any more news.”

“So, this friend in the hospital, you know them from work?” Shannon asks.

Eddie pulls a face as he tries to think of a way to explain how he has come to know Buck, without describing Buck as a ‘118 regular’ that he’s actually only met a small number of times. “I know him through work,” he decides on, “He was training to be a firefighter until an accident a few months ago put a pause on it. His sister, who’s been taken by her ex, she’s a 9-1-1 dispatcher.”

Shannon frowns in sympathy, “I hope they find her.”

“I hope so too,” he says.

He’s worried for Maddie; someone he already feels like he knows despite having never met her and having only learned of her existence the night before.

And most of all, he's worried about Buck.

***

When Buck hears they have found Maddie, that Doug is dead, and that Maddie’s coming to the hospital in an ambulance, Buck’s heartrate monitor goes through the roof. He’s so damn relieved Maddie's alive and safe, fuck, he can’t describe how relieved he is. But he’s also devastated that she has had to go through all this in the first place, and has been scared and injured and made terrified by Doug all over again. 

Marlene, one of Buck’s favourite nurses, informs him when Maddie has arrived at the hospital, which Marlene probably ends up regretting when Buck tries to get out of bed to go and find Maddie. Marlene tells him off and he is suitably chastened. But the nurses don’t count on Maddie being just as stubborn and even more determined than him. She’s not been in the hospital long before she demands to see him and is rolled to his bedside in a wheelchair, steering a drip stand along.

“Maddie!” Buck cries.

“Buck!” Maddie looks like she might collapse in relief. Buck feels the same. She practically collapses over him and Buck is there to catch her, ignoring the tug of his stitches. “Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey…I’m here, I’m here.”

“I didn’t give up,” she sobs, “I…I didn’t give up. I…”

“You did so good,” he tells her, “You did so good.” He doesn’t yet know much about what went down with Doug, but he doesn't need to to know how strong and brave Maddie has been.

“I didn’t even know if you were alive…” she sobs, “They told me in the ambulance…”

Buck feels terrible. He wishes he had been more alert when he had gotten back from his shift at work and seen the front door open, “Shit, Maddie, I’m sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't help you stop him.”

“It’s not your fault,” Maddie puts her hand on Buck’s cheek, “He hurt you…”

“All this is going to heal,” he tells her, mirroring her by putting his own hand carefully on her cheek, mindful of the scrapes and bruises and despising Doug for putting them there, “I’m going to be ok, so long as you are.”

“I’m ok,” Maddie says, eyes brimmed with tears, “How are you feeling?”

“Starting to hate hospitals,” Buck jokes, “Still, it’s better than…” he trails off, “I thought, I really thought…”

“Me too,” Maddie says, voice wavering.

“But you’re ok.”

“We’re ok,” Maddie says, and Buck knows that the two of them, always a team, can get past anything and everything life throws at them.

***

Maddie is finally encouraged back to her room by the nurses, and Buck is pleasantly surprised that his friends from the 118 come to visit sporadically through the afternoon to check on how he’s doing. Hen and Lena stop by first to see how he's doing; Lena hadn't even been on shift when the 118 had responded to Buck's emergency last night so Buck appreciates her wanting to check on how he is. 

Eddie comes next, for an hour, and he and Buck chat a bit about trivial things; sport, video games, movies, Texas and Pennsylvania. 

Buck tells Eddie the nurses have told him off several more times for trying to get out of bed and sneak in to visit Maddie, but that it’s ok because he knows several of the nurses on the current shift and they know what he’s like by now. Eddie mutters in Spanish “How can someone with so much knowledge be so dumb?” And again, before Buck can reply, in Spanish or otherwise, Eddie has moved on. Buck has a feeling Eddie still hasn't realised Buck can understand and speak some Spanish.

An hour or two after Eddie leaves, Chim arrives, and Chim is still there, bemoaning Buck's lack of knowledge of pre-1990s pop culture references, when Bobby and Athena visit. Buck wants to thank Athena for everything she's done, and speak to her privately about what happened at the lodge with Doug and Maddie. So, he asks Chim a favour.

“Thanks for coming to check in on me, Chim, I appreciate it,” Buck says, “I was wondering if you might like to meet Maddie before you go? She’s had some visitors; some of her friends from work have already stopped by, but I don’t think anyone is with her at the moment and I don’t want to leave her alone for too long if she doesn't want to be…”

“Sure Buck,” Chim agrees easily, “I’ll see if she wants company and sit with her for a bit if she does.”

“Thank you," Buck says.

***

Chim arrives at what he thinks is the right bed. “Maddie?” he asks, just to be sure.

“Yes?” the woman in the bed is awake, but looks tired and scraped and bruised and Chim is cautious not to intrude on her space as a man she has never met before, not after all she has been through. He stays hovering in the doorway.

“I’m Chim – Chimney – I’m with the 118? I was just checking on how Buck’s doing and he said I should come and introduce myself, but if you’re not up to visitors I will…”

“No, it’s ok,” she interrupts gently, she looks glad for the company and although her smile is an exhausted one, it is still a truly kind and beautiful smile. “Buck’s mentioned you before. I've heard you’ve patched him up a few times, including this one.”

“I have and I did,” he grinned back, sitting in the seat beside the bed but leaving plenty of space so Maddie doesn’t feel too crowded, “I imagine you have too. Buck mentioned you were a nurse before becoming a dispatcher?”

Once Chim and Maddie start talking, they just keep going. Chim shouldn’t be surprised Maddie is easy to talk to with how sociable Buck is, but Chim really clicks with Maddie. He finds out that Maddie Buckley is funny, and kind, and smart, and they apparently have a very similar taste in music and movies. She's the type of person Chim would want to be friends with outside of work.

He even gets her laughing, by telling her the story of when the 118 responded to a call to save a woman being strangled by one of her own pet snakes, and Buck had turned up at her house halfway through the rescue for a prearranged hook-up.

“She just had snakes roaming the house free!” Chim exclaims as Maddie laughs, “I was freaking out because ugh! Snakes! And then Buck walks in and just goes ‘oh hey guys, what’s up?’! He told us some crazy facts about snakes," Chim grins when Maddie smiles fondly at that, but then Chim finishes the story with, "and then he and the snake lady rearranged their hook-up for another time in front of us all." 

Maddie groans, "Too much information on my brother's sex life, thanks."

That incident had been pre-Eddie joining the 118, and Chim can't help but imagine how Eddie might have reacted to that scenario. 

Chim and Maddie accidentally end up losing track of time. When Chim next checks his watch, he realises they have been talking for over an hour.

“Sorry I’ve kept you talking so long,” Chim says as he prepares to leave.

“Don’t be sorry,” Maddie says and she's being genuine, Chim can tell, “I’ve enjoyed the company. It’s been nice to meet you finally, despite the circumstances.”

“You too,” Chim says, deciding not to mention that the 118 hadn't known that Buck even had a sister before last night, “It’s been good to meet you Maddie, get well soon, and…see you around, maybe?” he internally cringes at his own lame farewell.

But Maddie just smiles and says, “See you around Chim, and thank you.”

Chim leaves the hospital with a smile on his face; glad that the Buckley siblings are alive and safe, and hopeful that he will, in fact, meet Maddie Buckley again, under better circumstances.

He’s also hopeful the next time he sees Buck isn’t in another emergency too, but knowing Buck's luck, that's probably wishful thinking. 

Chapter Text

The next time Eddie sees Buck is when Buck turns up outside the firehouse, a week or so after Buck's discharged from hospital after being stabbed by Doug.

Eddie hasn’t been having the greatest morning; he and Shannon didn’t part on the best of terms last night. Things between them are still so unsure, and he’s pretty sure neither of them actually know what they want relationship-wise, or even if they should be back together at all. It was so easy to fall back into what was familiar at first, but there are still uncertain moments; arguments where they dredge up the past and run circles over old ground. Sometimes it feels like they work so much better as close friends and co-parents than in a committed relationship. He doesn’t know if the devoted love they used to have for each other is still there, or if they’ll ever get it back the same. He doesn’t know if they are just doing this because it’s familiar to them. He knows Shannon feels the same; the topic was raised last night. 

He has a lot on his mind, and he’s worrying about how Christopher will take the possible decision to split up again; if Christopher will understand that although his parents gave their relationship another try, that it’s not the same anymore, and that they are better off as friends.

So, it’s something of a welcome distraction parking up at the station to find Buck balancing several large tupperware boxes on top of each other while trying to kick the door of his jeep shut.

“Need a hand?” Eddie calls to him.

Buck’s smiling face appears from around the tower of tupperware and, if Eddie is being honest, his foul mood pretty much evaporates under the brightness of it.

“Hey Eddie,” Buck beams, “Thank you.”

Eddie shuts the jeep door for him and then takes the top two boxes, so he can actually see Buck’s face.

“Should you really have been trying to carry this much while you’re still recovering?” Eddie asks, making sure his tone is saying that the answer is no.

“Eddie,” Buck rolls his eyes, “If I stopped doing stuff every time I had to recover from something I wouldn’t get to do anything.”

“You know, that’s not the reassuring statement you seem to think it is,” Eddie says, but he’s smiling already, despite himself.

Buck’s smile turns sheepish.

“Where are you taking all these?” Eddie asks.

“Wherever you guys put your food donations,” Buck says brightly.

“They’re for us?”

“Of course,” Buck says, “You guys saved my life. Again. So, I thought I’d bring some brownies to say thank you. Chim and Hen seem to like the brownies the best.”

“The ones with the big chocolate chunks?” Eddie says before he can stop himself.

Buck grins, “Oh, so you did get to try the ones I brought after Halloween?! I’m glad you liked them! You weren’t here when I dropped them off so I was a bit concerned there weren’t going to be any left for you.”

“I had one,” Eddie confirms, “And then I had some more. They were hands down the best brownies I’ve ever had.”

Buck ducks his head, “Yeah right!”

“Seriously. I could have eaten a whole box in one sitting.”

“Well, if you want to keep one of these boxes for yourself…”

Eddie shook his head, “Don’t tempt me. I’m already thinking of the guilt-work-outs that would cause.”

Buck scoffed, “Please, like you need guilt-work-outs. You always look good.”

Eddie blinks at Buck, caught off guard but undeniably flattered. 

Buck clears his throat awkwardly and says, “Anyway, I’ll just drop off these brownies and let you get on with your shift.”

Eddie leads Buck into the firehouse and up the mezzanine steps to the kitchen so that they can store the brownies.

“How are you doing, anyway?” Eddie checks, “How are you healing up?”

“Oh, fine,” Buck waves off his concern as he puts down the boxes on the kitchen counter.

“And Maddie?”

Buck looks more appreciative that Eddie’s asked after Maddie than when Eddie asked after him, “She’s doing good, thank you. Thanks for asking.” He opens one of the boxes, “I made double the usual quantity to thank you guys for being there for Maddie as well.” He offers the brownies to Eddie. “Here! Have one now! Just don’t tell the others you’ve had one already, so you can have more later!” Buck winks, “It can be our secret.”

Eddie can’t resist. The wink or the brownies. He takes a brownie, bites into it, closes his eyes and how?! How are they possibly better than he remembers?! He groans around a mouthful of soft, gooey, melty chocolate.

When he opens his eyes, Buck’s staring at him, and Eddie’s embarrassed by the obscene groan he just made.

“Sorry,” he tries to laugh it off.

“Hey,” Buck holds up his hands, still looking a little startled before he smirks, “No need to apologise. I’m glad to hear my baking is appreciated.”

“It is seriously appreciated,” Eddie tells him seriously. Because…seriously.

Buck’s smirk softens at the compliment. “Maybe I could tempt you to a box to yourself after all?” he suggests.

God, Buck could tempt Eddie to a whole lot of things, as far as Eddie is concerned. But, unfortunately, Eddie is still pretty sure Buck is straight. Dios, with his quickly failing half-relationship with Shannon and his crush on this straight, unfairly attractive man, Eddie's joke of a love life is a whole damn mess. Eddie's dragged from his internal crisis of despair and self-berating when Buck checks his watch and sighs.

“Damn it. Sorry Eddie. I have to swing by and drop a couple of brownie batches off for Sergeant Grant as well before my next shift, so I’d better get going. She says it’s the only food she doesn’t dispose of immediately, which is a pretty big compliment!”

“I was surprised you knew her,” Eddie says. He isn’t sure why he’s said it, because Buck’s running late. Well actually, that’s a lie. Eddie knows exactly why he's said it; to keep Buck here for a little longer, who’s Eddie trying to kid? “Athena.”

“Oh, yeah,” Buck rubs a hand over the back of his neck sheepishly, “Well, she’s helped me out of a few scrapes.”

“Why does that not surprise me?”

“They honestly weren’t my fault! Especially that time with the catfish…”

“The…catfish?”

“Yeah. These girls kept turning up at the bar I was working at and causing a scene, slapping me, all sorts. One girl escalated it and the cops were called. Turns out that some guy had stolen my identity to set up a dating profile and had been talking to all these girls pretending to be me. And then when he’d suddenly stopped talking to them, they came to me looking for answers, but I didn’t have any! I had no idea what was going on! And I had a girlfriend at the time so I wasn’t even on any dating apps!”

“That’s awful.”

“Yeah. I was furious about it at first. But then it turned out the guy had died, and that’s why he had suddenly stopped messaging the girls back. By the sounds of it he’d been living a pretty lonely life. So, I just felt sad for him, really, in the end. As well as sorry for all the girls he’d deceived.”

There’s a pause, while Eddie tries to comprehend all of…well, all of that. And all he can think to say is “Holy shit.”

“Yeah.”

“How does all this crazy stuff keep happening to you?”

“You’re asking the wrong guy,” Buck says good-naturedly, “Because I have no idea.” He then smiles all of a sudden, waves jovially, and says, “Enjoy the brownies, Eddie. It was good to see you.”

“Good to see you too,” Eddie says. And it’s true. Buck has kind of made Eddie’s morning a whole lot better.

***

The next time Eddie sees Buck after that is so similar to the time before; Buck turns up outside the firehouse with food. But yet this time everything is also so very different. 

Because Shannon is dead.

Eddie’s still in shock. Telling Christopher was the hardest thing he’s ever had to do.

Eddie is devastated. And he’s angry. And he feels so fucking lost.

“Eddie?”

Eddie’s brought back down to reality with a bump. He’s standing next to his car, having just got out of it. Or at least, he thinks he just got out of it. He honestly isn’t sure how long he’s been standing here, staring vacantly at his own wan reflection in the window of the closed door.

He heard his name though. He heard Buck saying his name.

He turns and finds Buck lingering uncertainly next to his jeep, and honestly, Eddie didn’t see or hear him pull up. Buck’s got tupperware again.

“Eddie, I’m so sorry,” Buck starts when Eddie doesn’t say anything, “I heard about what happened. I’m so sorry about Shannon.”

Eddie doesn’t know how Buck heard, and he doesn’t think to even ask.

“I…” Buck looks uncertain, “I wanted to bring some food.” He lifts the tupperware up a little to gesture to it. “It’s not much. I didn’t want to do the whole casserole thing, so I made some pasta dishes, so they'll keep, and you can eat them cold or reheat them. And you know, if you don’t want them, or you’ve been getting a lot of this kind of thing, that’s fine too! Maybe the 118 can have it for lunch instead, or something.” He’s rambling, and Eddie’s pretty sure Buck’s been made nervous by Eddie’s silence and it makes Eddie feel bad.

“Thanks Buck,” Eddie finally says, rubbing a hand over his face, “Sorry. Sorry. I’ve been a bit…I’ve been a bit out of it since…”

“Hey, there’s no need to apologise,” Buck says. “I can’t imagine how hard it’s been for you.”

And that’s exactly what it’s been. It’s been so fucking hard. 

But Eddie does what he always does when things get hard. He slaps on a brave face and buries it all down; lets it set into his bones. It’ll either make him stronger, or break him down in the end. But for now, for now it works.

“Thanks, for bringing this, and for thinking of us,” Eddie says, “My Abuela and Tia have pretty much filled our fridge at home, but I’m sure Bobby will appreciate not having to cook for a day.”

Buck’s face breaks out into a smile, and it’s clear he’s grateful that he’s done something useful. Eddie’s just grateful for Buck’s presence, if he's being honest with himself. Buck’s a breath of fresh air, somehow, as a different face to the ones Eddie’s been seeing every day. There’s something refreshing, enthralling almost, in the way Buck turns up unexpectedly every so often in Eddie’s life with a smile, no matter the circumstances. 

“I’m glad you’ve got family close by to support you,” Buck says earnestly.

Eddie smiles a bit more genuinely in response, because his Abuela and Tia Pepa have been godsends over the last few days. Eddie’s parents, not so much. But Eddie’s grateful that it’s Abuela and Tia Pepa he has here in LA, and that his parents are still far enough away in Texas that they can’t try and convince him that Christopher would be better off there with them.

“I won’t keep you any longer,” Buck says, “I’ll just take these boxes upstairs, if that’s ok?”

“I can take them,” Eddie offers, “If you need to get going. I'm heading up there anyway."

Buck frowns, “Are you sure?”

Eddie nods and reaches out to take the tupperware. “I’m sure. Thanks Buck.”

“Ok, great,” Buck smiles back at him, “And you know, Eddie, if you ever feel like you want to talk to someone…well, to someone outside of your family, friends, co-workers…you know where I am.”

***

The thing is, Eddie realises later, is that if he does want to talk to Buck, he doesn’t actually know where Buck is. He doesn’t know where Buck is working now. He doesn’t know where Buck lives. He knows where Buck’s sister lives, but he isn’t going to go and bother Maddie about it; the last thing she’ll want is a man she doesn’t really know turning up unexpectedly at her door after everything with Doug. Eddie doesn't use social media, so he can't add Buck on there either. 

He finds Buck next at a bowling alley, of all places.

They are on shift and it’s going to be a full moon tonight, which Chim and Hen are certain makes everyone crazier than usual. Eddie’s way more sceptical about all that superstitious stuff. They get a call from the bowling alley in the mid-afternoon. It’s one of those bowling alleys that has an area for arcade machines. They get the call because a kid has somehow climbed into one of the claw machines, drawn in by the mountain of soft toys inside. The bowling alley haven't been able to find the key for the machine, so they can't get her out safely.

When the 118 arrive and are directed to the machine in question, they find Buck in the uniform of the bowling alley staff, and he’s keeping the little girl entertained, chattering away to her, while her Mom stands nervously next to him.

“Bobby,” Buck greets.

“Buck,” Bobby returns, like he’s not surprised in the slightest seeing Buck in yet another context, another uniform, another call-out.

Eddie, on the other hand, is always caught off guard to find Buck in a different place, and how Buck always manages to make the uniform of wherever he’s working look unfairly good; this blue staff shirt with the black edging is no exception to the rule.

“Chim, Hen, Lena, Eddie…” Buck greets the rest of them, eyes moving to each one as he addresses them, and Eddie wonders if it's wishful thinking that Buck’s gaze lingers a little longer on Eddie at the end. Buck then gestures to the little girl with a flourish, “This little princess is Natalia, and this is her Mom, Trish. Natalia, Trish, these lovely people are from the 118, and they are the biggest superheroes I know. And they're going to have to take you out of there now, Natalia, if that's ok with you." Natalia nods and Buck grins and says, "Ok, you'll be fine." And moves back.

Buck steps aside with Trish while Lena gets to work on the machine. Natalia giggles the whole time. 

When Lena gets the machine open, Natalia stays firmly on the far side and asks for Buck - whose efforts to keep her entertained and calm until the 118’s arrival have apparently made a big impression - to carry her out. Buck looks to Bobby, and Bobby nods.

Buck moves forwards and says, “Hi Princess Natalia! Are you ready? Yeah? Watch your head.” He’s careful as he reaches in and picks her up in his arms, and lifts her out of the machine. "I got you!"

Eddie wasn’t really good with kids until he had one of his own (and he struck so, so lucky to have such a wonderful kid like Christopher). So he can't help but admire how good Buck is with Natalia. 

Once Natalia is reunited with her mom, Buck tells her seriously, “Princess Natalia, do you promise not to climb in any machines again?”

Natalia nods, her bottom lip trembling.

But then Buck plucks one of the soft toy unicorns from the machine and gives it to her, “Well, since you’ve promised not to climb in them again, Princess Unicorn says she would like to be your noble steed…”

Natalia laughs in delight and hugs the unicorn to her chest.

Trish thanks the 118, and most of all Buck. She offers to pay for the unicorn.

Buck waves her offer aside, “It’s on me,” he says.

Not on the bowling alley, no. On him. Because that’s the kind of guy Buck is. If Eddie wasn’t endeared before, he’d definitely be endeared now. His stomach does a traitorous little flip as if to prove it.

The 118 start to pack up to head out, and Buck manages to draw Eddie to one side. Well, that’s not strictly true; Buck walks away and waits to one side and Eddie just follows, like a moth to a flame.

“How are you doing?” Buck asks him.

“I’m ok,” Eddie dismisses, even though he’s not really ok. He’s still wrestling with a hundred different emotions; namely anger, right now, but he’s keeping it buried deep down, for better or worse.

Buck doesn’t look like he entirely believes him. “And how’s Christopher?”

“Not so good,” Eddie says, giving way to honesty when faced with his son's welfare instead of his own. But he doesn’t go into it any more than that. “The pasta was a hit with the team,” he says instead, “Thanks again, for bringing it.”

“Least I could do,” Buck says.

There’s a slightly awkward pause, and it’s weird, because he and Buck haven’t really had many of those before. It’s like Buck is waiting for Eddie to talk if he needs, but Eddie doesn’t want to if it means talking about how he feels. About Shannon. He's so messed up by it. 

“You been working here long?” Eddie asks eventually.

“Only a few weeks.”

“You planning on sticking around?”

“Maybe,” Buck shrugs, “At least until the next thing comes along.”

Eddie nods like he understands, even though he’s only ever had three jobs in his whole life; his part-time job as a teen, then the army, and then firefighting.

Still, for now, he really does know where to find Buck if he wants to talk to him. And he surprises himself when he thinks that he might. Lord knows he’s not doing the greatest job of letting anybody else in.

***

Buck’s surprised when he turns up at the bowling alley for his shift and finds the 118 vehicles outside. It’s not until he gets inside that he finds out that Arlene, the owner and manager, has got her arm stuck in the pin setter of lane five.

Buck was supposed to be taking over from Garrett's shift, but it’s no surprise to Buck that Garrett is still here and helping the 118. Garrett’s only seventeen but is by far the hardest working and most dedicated employee in the place. He’s Arlene’s favourite. Buck knows Garrett wants to be a manager, and he’d be a far better choice than Jesse, who is useless and stuck to his phone. But Jesse is Arlene’s nephew so gets away with being a lazy, terrible employee. Buck's pretty sure it's Jesse that lost the key to the claw machine the other week when Natalia got stuck. Buck’s rooting for Garrett and has since day one on the job. He’s a great kid.

Jesse is being useless, as per, so Buck heads to the back of the lanes to find Garrett helping the 118, as they consider how to release Arlene’s arm without causing more damage.

“Hey Buck,” Garrett says as Buck arrives. Garrett looks stressed, but focused.

“Hey Garrett,” Buck says. He flinches at the sight of Arlene. God she must be in so much pain. “Hang in there Arlene,” Buck says, “You’re in great hands with these guys. They’re the ones that came to help the little girl out the claw machine the other week.”

“Buck,” Bobby greets him distractedly.

“Bobby,” Buck returns.

“I’ll get the tourniquet, tie the arm, and get her out,” Eddie is saying, deep in discussion with Chim, Hen and Lena about how best to get Arlene's arm out.

“I don’t know if that’s going to work,” Hen says, “Right now this cross brace is the only thing that’s holding her arm in place. The minute you move it, she’s going to bleed more.”

Chim continues – Buck notices that Hen and Chim do that a lot, pick up where the other one leaves off when they’re on a job like this. They’re a good team - “And given how broken her bones are, it’ll be like tying off a wet bag of rocks.”

Buck flinches again on Arlene’s behalf, but then his eyes fall to the pin setter. He doesn’t know much about how the back of the bowling lanes works, but he worked for a few months one summer as a kid’s wilderness camp leader, and they had people come in to teach the kids survival skills, like how to fashion splints. Buck ended up learning all sorts of weird and crazy survival facts and tips that summer.

“Could you use the cross brace?” Buck pipes up, and tries not to blush too hard under the sudden collective attention of the 118, “Cut her out from the pin setter, around the arm and you’ve got a…”

“Damn good splint,” Bobby finishes for him.

“Buck's right," Lena agrees, "If we cut it here, and weld these points, here, here, and here…" she points out the spots, and looks up to Bobby for confirmation to get started.

"All right," Bobby decides, "We’re going to need a stick welder…”

And the 118 get to work immediately.

Buck stands back to wait with Garrett and they wince and flinch together as Arlene’s arm is cut free with the metal still around it. They walk beside the gurney as the 118 wheel her towards the exit of the bowling alley.

Bobby praises Garrett for his good work and quick thinking, which Garrett absolutely deserves.

“Garrett,” Arlene says from the gurney.

“Arlene, are you ok?” Garrett asks.

“Refunds,” Arlene says which, honestly, her dedication to her business is impressive.

“No refunds,” Garrett says, “Give everyone a coupon for another visit.”

Buck smiles to himself. These two are so alike in their work ethic, and their love for this place. And they genuinely care about each other. Their dynamic is super sweet, and much nicer than the one Arlene shares with her own lazy nephew. Jesse is right there at the counter, and he looks like he couldn’t give a shit that his own aunt is badly hurt and being taken to the hospital.

“I’m going to be out of commission for a while,” Arlene says to Garrett, “You’re in charge. Manager.”

Garrett slows to a stop as the gurney reaches the door, and Buck stops with him, grinning at the big smile that spreads on Garrett’s face.

Garrett takes a steadying breath, clearly elated, and then he turns around and says “Jesse?” He points at him. “You’re fired.”

Buck laughs and high-fives him. “Congrats, manager,” Buck says.

“Thanks,” Garrett grins.

“Do you mind if I…” Buck gestures outside.

Garrett knows Buck knows the 118 from when Natalia got stuck in the claw machine a few weeks ago, so he nods and says, “Sure.”

Buck finds the 118 lifting the gurney into the ambulance.

“Living tissue under a metal endoskeleton,” Buck says in his best Terminator voice, because he’s a dork.

He’s surprised when Eddie turns and arches his eyebrow at him, “You know, technically, it would be an exoskeleton, right?”

He’s teasing him. Buck tries not to smile too wide when he pretends to be wounded and says, “Can’t just let me enjoy the win?”

Bobby rolls his eyes as he walks up to them, “Good job, Buck.”

“Thanks,” Buck smiles, genuinely thrilled that he not only helped Arlene, but also the 118 with his suggestion.

Bobby’s looking thoughtful, and like he’s genuinely impressed, “Buck, if you consider training to be a firefighter again once your leg is healed, let me know, ok? That’s the kind of innovative thinking I want on my team.”

Buck can’t believe it, and he’s so grateful that Bobby sees potential in him. “Thanks Bobby,” he says, trying not to get too choked up over the compliment, and the possibility that he might actually have a future in firefighting, if he ever gets the all clear for his leg and the clot issue. 

Bobby pats him on the shoulder and climbs into the truck.

Eddie is smiling at him. He looks a little better than when Buck last saw him, and is smiling more genuinely. Eddie’s smiles honestly have the power to make Buck’s day whenever he’s put under the full force of them. Buck had been devastated when he had heard about Shannon, and he was heartbroken for Eddie and Christopher. Buck never got to meet Shannon, but now he wishes he had had the chance. Despite the more genuine smile, he can see Eddie is still struggling.

“Hey Eddie, before you go,” Buck says, and Eddie stops and looks at him, and Buck tries not to get lost in his eyes because inappropriate, much, Buckley? “When I saw you last, you said Christopher wasn’t doing so great.” For god’s sake, Buck, way to put it lightly! The poor kid has lost his mom! “Well, Arlene offers staff a free session for friends and family every now and then. I haven’t used mine yet, and I wondered if you wanted to bring Christopher, and maybe some of his friends from school? It might cheer him up a bit?”

Eddie’s eyes go abruptly soft, and he reaches out suddenly and clasps a hand to Buck’s shoulder and says “You’re a good man, Buck,” so sincerely that Buck tries not to melt under it because inappropriate Buck! Inappropriate! The man has recently lost his wife!

“So, is that a yes?” Buck asks.

“Yes,” Eddie smiles, “It’s a yes. And a thank you.”

Buck refuses to wish that this was actually him asking Eddie on a date and Eddie agreeing, because Buck is Appropriate Personified. Though it takes a lot of effort to remain Appropriate Personified when Eddie follows it up by asking for Buck’s number.

Because it's just so they can arrange the bowling thing, for fuck’s sake, Buck!

The ambulance has already gone with Arlene, and Buck knows Eddie has to get in the fire truck and leave asap, so instead of reeling off his number or inputting it into Eddie’s phone, Buck takes out his wallet and digs out a business card he's remembered is in there.

Eddie arches his eyebrow, “You have a business card?”

“I was a self-employed personal trainer for a bit.”

Eddie says, “Of course you were.” And Buck swears Eddie’s eyes give him a swift once-over before he turns and gets in the truck.

“See you guys soon, I guess?” Buck calls into the truck.

“Inevitably,” Bobby responds from inside, and Buck doesn’t know quite how he means it; was that sarcasm or sincerity? Bobby’s so good at both that they seem to be interchangeable sometimes.

That night, Buck receives a text from an unknown number:

Hey Buck, it’s Eddie.

He saves Eddie’s number in his phone and then replies.

>Hey Eddie. I heard the endoskeleton worked out ok.

Eddie Diaz: Yeah, the EXOskeleton worked out fine.

>You’re really not just going to let me have this one?

Eddie Diaz: Nope.

>Ouch, I’m hurt.

Eddie Diaz: What…again?! Need the 118 to attend? 

Buck can almost hear the sassy sarcasm radiating from the text.

>Right, that’s it. No more brownie batches for you.

Eddie Diaz: I take it all back.

***

“Buck?”

At the sound of Eddie’s voice Buck straightens up from where he’s sorting out the bowling shoes at the counter and spins around. He grins straight at Christopher first.

“Hi Christopher! I don’t know if you remember me,” he says, “I was the elf you met at Christmas!”

“You remember Buck, right Chris?” Eddie asks him.

“Hi Buck,” Christopher smiles, big and wide, and Buck’s heart melts. Christopher is such an adorable kid.

“Hi Eddie,” Buck then greets Eddie, and he smiles, and he hates that it feels like a shy smile.

He and Eddie have been texting sporadically over the last couple of weeks, and Buck has learned more about Eddie’s sense of humour, and just Eddie in general, and he can't deny that it's been really, really nice. And hasn't helped quash his crush on Eddie in the slightest.

Through those sporadic texting sessions they have set up today for Eddie and Christopher and a few of Christopher’s school friends to come and use up Buck’s free session on one of the lanes. Buck made sure to ok it with Arlene and Garrett and has reserved an end lane for them.

“Here,” Buck says, once he’s sorted them out with shoes and Chloe has agreed to cover the counter for him, “I’ll show you to the lane.”

He makes a big deal of talking Christopher through setting up the screen for the lane; getting him to type all of his friends’ names in. He puts one of the bowling alley's ramps beside the lane so that Eddie can lift the bowling ball to the top of it for Christopher to push the bowling ball down rather than trying to throw it. Eddie hovers nearby, watching it all with a look on his face that Buck can’t interpret, though he thinks it might be a similar expression to the one Eddie had on his face while Buck was helping Natalia out of the claw machine – it might be fondness, Buck thinks. Buck can't help but hope.

Christopher’s group of friends start to arrive with their parents, so Buck leaves them to it.

Partway through their game Buck finishes his shift, and heads over to the end lane to check in on them before he leaves.

“Having fun?” he asks Eddie, who looks up at him from one of the long seats and smiles.

“Most fun I’ve seen him have in ages,” Eddie says, turning his gaze back to Christopher, chattering away with his friends. Eddie looks sad for a moment, but then the expression flickers away again. “Here,” he stands up, “Can I buy you a drink or something before you go? I want to thank you for doing all this for us.”

“Oh, sure,” Buck agrees. Almost embarrassingly quickly. “But it’ll just have to be a soda or something; I’m driving.”

Eddie checks in with the other parents, who have a handle on the game and are already helping Christopher take his next turn, before he and Buck wander over to one of the food counters and Eddie buys them two coca colas.

“How are things going?” Buck asks him.

“Ok,” Eddie says, “I had my ceremony for passing my probation.”

“Oh, hey!” Buck says, “Congratulations Official-Firefighter Diaz!”

Buck lifts his takeout container of soda and Eddie’s lips quirk as he knocks his own against Buck’s.

It’s clear Eddie doesn’t want to talk much more about how he’s doing – about Shannon – so Buck decides not to ask. If Eddie needs Buck to be a friend that doesn’t ask about all the heavy stuff, then Buck can be that for him.

“It might be you passing your firefighter probation before too long,” Eddie says, “Do you still think you’ll sign up for the training course again when you get the all clear to try again?”

“Yeah, I want to,” Buck says, “I think it’s what I want to do.”

“Well Cap’s been impressed with you enough times,” Eddie says, “I reckon you’d make a great firefighter, Buck.”

Buck perks up, “Really?”

Eddie looks serious when he says, “Definitely. We’d be lucky to have you on our team. I know Cap would put in a specific request for you to join the 118 if you did graduate the course.”

“Really?” Buck’s doubtful now, “Even though I’m the unluckiest person ever?”

“I wouldn’t call the people you’ve helped unlucky,” Eddie says.

Buck smiles at him, and Eddie smiles back, until Buck has to look away, because if he looks any longer into those lovely brown eyes he might just fall in love and that’d be a stupid thing for Buck to do. Go and worsen the crush he has on his new friend; a straight widower, for god's sake!

“How are you doing, anyway?” Eddie asks, “How is your leg?”

“Yeah, I’m doing ok,” Buck says, “I’m hoping I’ll get the all clear soon, but I guess I’ll have to see how my next couple of appointments go. Hopefully it won't be long before they can take the screws out of my leg. And otherwise, honestly, there’s not much new going on in my life.” Buck cocks his head, “Except that I’m pretty sure Chim is dating my sister.”

Eddie chokes on his drink, “What?!”

“Well, they say they’re ‘friends’, but they have this takeout thing they do on Fridays that they call ‘Buffriday’ and order all these different takeouts in and they already have duets they do at karaoke. I mean, that’s coupley behaviour, right? But when I asked them if they were dating, they laughed it off and got all weird and said they’re friends. But I reckon it’s only a matter of time before they see the light.”

“I had no idea,” Eddie says, when he’s finished coughing, “Chim hasn’t said anything to us!”

“Yeah, well, I only found out when I turned up at Maddie’s and Chim was there. They connected on social media after they met at the hospital, apparently, and now they text like 24/7.”

“Huh,” Eddie says. He appears to think about it, “I actually think they’d make a good couple.”

“Yeah,” Buck says, because the chemistry is undeniable, and they are really cute together. “Me too. They just need to open their eyes.”

Buck tries to decidedly not think about who else has great chemistry and would make a good, cute couple if only both parties swung the same way.

Eddie soon has to return to Christopher and the rest of the bowling party, so Buck bids him goodbye and heads home. By the time he parks the car he’s had a text from Eddie.

Eddie Diaz: Thanks for tonight, Buck. Christopher had a great time. And I did too.

>I’m really glad you guys had fun. It was nice to see you both.

Eddie Diaz: It was nice to see you too, Buck.

Buck manages to force himself not to reply that he hopes he and Eddie can meet up again soon. It seems too flirty and too much, and he doesn't want to do anything to spoil this friendship they have built and are still building. Besides, he reasons, fate has had a track record so far of putting them back in each other’s orbit, so maybe fate will be kind and take pity on Buck for once, and make it happen again.

***

A few weeks later, Buck’s still working at the bowling alley. He honestly didn’t intend to work here for as long as he has, but he likes the atmosphere, and Arlene and Garrett are great managers.

“Hey Garrett,” Buck calls, “My shift’s up. You ok for me to head out?”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Garrett grins, “Thanks Buck.” Garrett’s got a stack of paper in his hands, and Buck’s curiosity gets the better of him. He peers over at them and sees that they’re posters advertising the bowling alley.

“Where you putting those up?” Buck asks.

“I was at the Santa Monica Pier last weekend, at the fairground attraction there. I got talking to some of the guys there, and they’ve agreed that we should do an advertising swap. We can put posters up there, drum up some business, and they can put some up here. Sort of an indoor and outdoor family activity partnership.”

Garrett was always coming up with these innovative ideas. No wonder Arlene has kept him on as co-manager now that she’s easing herself back into work with the odd shift.

“You taking them down to the pier?” Buck asks.

“Later this afternoon after my shift.”

“I can take them down now for you, if you want?” Garrett’s been working crazy hours; it’s the least Buck can do.

“Really?” Garrett looks grateful, “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Buck says, “No problem. It’ll be nice to go.” It’s finally summer again, and Buck’s happy to soak up all the sunshine he can. An hour or so at the pier actually sounds great.

Garrett thanks him and Buck boxes up the posters and puts them in a bag to carry them. He bumps Garrett’s fist in farewell and heads to the pier.

The pier is busy when he gets there, lots of people enjoying the rides, games, photobooths and stalls. He distributes the posters, and is told they'll have some ready in the next few days for the bowling alley.

He ends up sitting on a bench by the rails that look out over the sea. He leans back, closes his eyes, and lets himself bask for ten minutes before he heads home. 

He opens his eyes again when he hears a bright laugh not far away. It sounds kind of familiar. He shades his eyes against the sunlight and starts when he sees Christopher Diaz standing at the railing less than a metre away, looking out at the sea.

“Christopher?” Buck asks, surprised.

Christopher looks at him and smiles, “Hey Buck!”

“Hey!” Buck says, flattered that he’s made enough of a good impression on Christopher that he remembers him after only meeting him twice, “Hey Christopher! What are you doing here? Where’s your Dad?”

“Dad’s at work.”

“Ok,” Buck frowns, looking around for whoever Christopher’s with, but there’s nobody nearby that seems to be with him, “Who are you here with?”

“My babysitter. Laura.”

“Ok,” Buck says again, looking around, “And where is Laura?”

“She realised she left her purse over there…” Christopher points at one of the stalls across the pier, “She needed to run. She said to wait here and she’d be right back. I don’t mind, I like looking at the sea.”

Buck understands the panic of realising you've lost your wallet or phone or bag; he's done it a few times himself. But he still wouldn't have left a kid as young as Christopher unattended in such a busy public place, even if it was only for a few minutes. Still, Buck figures, there's no harm done, because at least he's here, and he can look after Christopher until the babysitter gets back. And Christopher does seem perfectly content being left alone for a few minutes to look out at the sea. 

“Yeah, the sea is…” Buck turns around to look at the sea too.

And then he freezes.

Where the hell’s all the water gone?

Other people have started to notice it too, he realises, coming up to the railings at either side of him. Buck stands and moves closer to Christopher, catching a hold of the back of his t-shirt. Buck looks up from where the water has retreated, and with building dread, he sees the wave.

The tsunami heading straight at the pier.

And ridiculously, ludicrously, Buck hysterically thinks ‘Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me’.

Before he picks up Christopher and he runs for their lives.

Chapter Text

The water, when it hits, is unbelievable in its force. Buck tries to keep a hold of Christopher, but the little boy is ripped from his hands. The water churns him this way and that, and Buck loses his sense of direction, loses his breath, as all sorts of debris and objects caught up in the water scrape and crash against him. And all the while he tries to catch sight of Christopher, terrified that he's going to lose him.

As soon as he breaks the surface and takes that first ragged, desperate breath of air, he’s looking for him. He’s looking for him as the water drags him down a street. He manages to grab hold of a string of decorative lights that crosses the street and he calls Christopher’s name in a panic, over and over again.

And, by some miracle, above the sound of the rushing water, he hears Christopher calling his name, and he spots Christopher clinging to a street light a little further along the street. Buck has never felt relief like it. He shouts to Christopher to stay where he is and Buck lets the force of the water carry him along as he swims towards the street light Christopher is clinging to. He misses him, and shouts for him to hold on. Christopher cries that he can’t, and Buck knows, he knows he can’t let Christopher get pulled away from him. Not again. He has to keep him safe, at whatever cost.

Buck manages to catch onto some debris, and he’s ready for when Christopher's grip fails on the street light. He’s ready to time it right to swim towards him and catch him. He grabs him, holds him tight, gets his head above the water, panting at the exertion.

“God,” Buck cries out, fighting to keep them afloat, before promising, “I got you, I got you.”

He already feels exhausted, but he knows this is far from over, so Buck will fight the exhaustion for as long as it takes to keep Christopher safe.

Buck spots a fire truck mostly submerged but standing still, and for a moment he’s terrified that it might be the 118 – that it might be Bobby, Chim, Hen, Lena and Eddie – washed away. But then he spots the number 136 painted on it. He doesn’t have time to be relieved for long. He manages to push Christopher up onto the top of the truck before a huge and fast-moving pile of debris reaches them, and he ducks under the water to avoid it himself, wincing when he feels something scrape against him again. When it passes, he somehow manages to pull himself onto the top of the truck too and collapses next to Christopher.

The moment he regains an ounce of energy and strength, Buck hauls himself into a sitting position, helping Christopher up to sit beside him, well away from the edge, resting back against the cab of the truck. He hugs him close to him.

Still panting and trying to catch his breath he checks, “You good, Chris?”

He is astounded when Christopher says “Yup, I took surfing lessons.”

It’s so wonderfully upbeat, so wonderfully spirited, that Buck’s caught off guard and he can’t help but laugh. “Oh, well, maybe you can teach me,” Buck says, even though he has run surfing lessons before as part of a job.

When Buck’s finally caught his breath, he says, “Alright, I’m going to take a look around. See what I can see.” But when he looks, the water is still rushing. It doesn’t seem to be getting any higher, thankfully, but it looks like he and Christopher are going to be stuck there for a while. “I guess we’re going to have to hang out here a little longer.”

“We have a fire truck,” Christopher says, as though that's going to make all the difference.

Maybe it will.

“Yeah, we do,” Buck says, “Just like your Dad.”

The fire truck is sturdy, and high enough that hopefully he and Christopher will just be able to sit and wait it out together. But then they hear cries for help and see a woman trying to cling to a building not far away. Buck’s done some life-saving courses, and some swim and surf instructing, so he thinks that he can help her.

He calls to her that he’s going to come to her.

“Chris,” he crouches down to look Christopher in the eye, “I need to go and help that lady, so I need you to sit right here for me. You promise me?”

“Yeah,” Christopher promises.

“Ok? Right here,” Buck says, “Right here.”

Christopher nods, and there’s a determination in his eyes that reminds Buck of Eddie.

Buck manages to get the ladder from the top of the fire truck and lever it up and over until it lands on the top of a nearby car – creating a bridge between the fire truck and the car. He then bundles the fire hose over his shoulder and carefully crosses the ladder to the top of the car. He climbs to the next car, and finds someone inside who can’t get out. Buck promises that he will come back for him. He then dives into the water with the hose in his hand. He manages to swim across to a tree on the opposite side of the street, and tie the hose around it. He shouts to the woman that she can let go of the building.

The water carries the woman to where Buck has tied the fire hose to create a line from the fire truck to the tree, across the street just above water level, and Buck drags himself along it until he is in the right position to help grab on to her. He helps pull her along the hose back to the fire truck and helps her climb up on it.

Buck pulls himself along the railing to check on Christopher.

“Buck,” Christopher says.

“What?” Buck asks.

Christopher points, “Buck, look,” he says.

Buck turns to look where Christopher is pointing and sees and hears a whole group of people being swept down the street calling for help. Buck asks the lady he’s rescued to watch Christopher, and once she’s sitting down at Christopher’s side, Buck goes out and helps more people. Anyone he can see, and hear. He goes back for the man trapped in his car. By the time there is no-one left to rescue, the people he’s helped save have to help him get back onto the fire truck because he’s so tired, and he collapses in exhaustion.

He doesn’t stay there for long, though. He drags himself across to Christopher’s side again, embarrassed by all the thanks he’s receiving from the other people on top of the truck, and is just glad to be able to rest for a moment, knowing that Christopher is still safe.

***

An hour later they are all still waiting for rescue, and Buck is doing what he can to keep Christopher entertained. His face feels tight and is stinging, so he’s pretty sure he’s got some scratches from debris, but he’s so used to injuries that are far worse that he's able to ignore them. So long as Christopher is safe, Buck is fine.

“You ever think about what you want to do with your life?” Buck asks Christopher, to help him and Christopher pass the time, “What you want to be when you grow up?”

Christopher gives it some serious thought, “Astronaut," he says, "Or a pirate.”

“Some good choices,” Buck agrees, “Cool outfits too.”

“No, wait!” Christopher changes his mind, “A firefighter!”

“Just like your Dad,” Buck says, “You know,” he nudges Christopher, “I think I want to be a firefighter too. But Chris, if those career paths don’t work out for you,” (if this latest dream career path of many doesn’t work out for me, Buck thinks), “I hope you do find something you love. You know, something you’re good at. Make you feel like you matter. Something you could do forever. ‘Cause when you do, I bet it’ll help tell you who you are, and it’ll to show you the rest of your life.” Buck doesn’t know how that feels; to feel like everything has fallen into place because he knows that he’s doing what he was always meant to do. He hopes firefighting – if he gets the all-clear medically – will be that for him. There’s a chance that it might not be, but god, Buck hopes that it is. “And that must be the best feeling,” he says. He takes a deep breath. “I hope you get that. And I hope you get to keep it.”

Christopher seems to know that the whole spiel was as much about Buck voicing his own thoughts to himself than it was to Christopher, because the little boy puts his hand to Buck’s cheek and says - far too astute for an eight-year-old - “You’re gonna be ok, kid.”

Buck blinks as tears rise unexpectedly to his eyes at the gentle and caring gesture, and Buck wonders if those words are something Christopher has picked up from Eddie, since Christopher, an eight-year-old, has just called Buck, a twenty-seven year old, ‘kid’.

“You amaze me, buddy,” Buck tells him.

“Why?”

“Well, I've had some bad injures in the last couple of years, and you know, for a while I couldn’t do much and I wasn’t allowed to do what I most wanted to do, so for a little while, I didn’t even want to get out of bed! Because I didn't see the point. But you, after the day you had, here you are with a big smile,” he looks at Christopher, amazed by the strength of this kid, “You never gave up. Even when the water was rushing over you back there, you just kept on swimming.”

“Like Dory?”

Buck smiles despite himself, “Yeah, like Dory. But not, not just today, but every day, I’ll bet. I bet you never say no and that you never complain.” He’s only met Christopher three times now, but he already knows Christopher isn’t that kind of child. “How?” he asks genuinely, because he wishes he could have an attitude like Christopher has, “How do you do that?”

“Well, I complained once,” Christopher tells him, “But it didn’t work.”

Buck hides his smile, unable to stop imagining Eddie and his parenting techniques, and asks, “So what did you do?”

Christopher shrugs, “Just kept on swimming.”

“Like Dory,” Buck says. Because he understands.

He then decides to tell Christopher that although he’s seen Finding Nemo, he hasn’t seen Finding Dory yet. Christopher is outraged.

“Finding Dory is great!” Christopher says, “You should come and watch it with me and Dad!” he says, and he leans over to whisper in Buck’s ear like it’s a secret, “Dad sometimes cries at those movies. And he was in the army.”

“I don’t blame him,” Buck whispers back, “You know I’ve cried at pretty much every Pixar film I’ve seen? Coco – I cried so much at Coco!”

Christopher gets all excited at that, “Coco is Dad’s favourite!” Christopher tells him, “We will have to watch that one too!”

“Ok buddy,” Buck smiles, humouring him while trying not to hope too much that it could actually one day happen; Buck going round the Diaz house to watch movies with Eddie and Christopher. 

During the course of keeping Christopher entertained Buck learns about Christopher’s favourite movie, his favourite class at school, his favourite teacher, about his friends. Christopher mentions Laura, his babysitter. Buck knows Christopher has been looking out for her, and Buck has been hoping they might find her, but so far there hasn’t been any sight of her.

They end up playing I Spy, for a bit.

“Ok,” Buck says, “I spy with my little eye…something that moves people around.”

“Um…” Christopher looks around, and spots the scooter floating by on a lump of debris, “Oh! A scooter.”

“Yeah! Nice one!” Buck says, “Ok, genius, your turn.”

“I spy…” Christopher looks around, looks at the debris again, “A shopping cart.”

“What? No, come on!” Buck laughs, “Hey, that’s not how the game works! You can’t just yell stuff out!”

“But yelling stuff out is the fun part!” Christopher calls out loudly.

Buck’s laughing, still amazed that Christopher is still smiling, still busting a gut, until Buck hears some of the other people on the fire truck gasp and say things like ‘look over there!’ and ‘oh no!’.

Buck looks where they’re all looking and that’s when he spots the bodies floating face down towards the truck. Christopher hasn’t seen them, and Buck’s determined to make sure he doesn’t. He's going to protect him at all costs.

“Uh…I…I spy with my little eye…” Buck forces himself to laugh as he picks Christopher up and turns him so that he’s facing away from the bodies. He cups his face in his hands to keep him looking at him. “Something that is high!”

Chris looks up, and Buck is relieved that it’s working, “A street sign?”

“Uh, no,” Buck says, forcing his own eyes not to stray to the bodies. He turns and points, “Higher than that! Up there, whoa!”

The bodies float past and then they are gone. Buck’s memory of them will never be gone, though.

“I don’t know what I’m going to tell your father,” Buck tells Christopher, a little later. He has no idea how much time has passed, but he and Christopher are still on top of the truck, and Buck has his arm around Christopher, trying to keep him warm.

“You saved me,” Christopher tells him, so matter-of-fact, and Buck looks at him, his heart thudding painfully. “And you saved them,” Christopher says. Buck glances at the rest of the people on top of the fire truck. Everyone he helped pull from the water.

“No,” Buck says, “We did that together. Me,” he points at himself, “And you,” he points at Christopher. “We make a great team. Give me a high five,” He smiles when Christopher does just that. God, this kid is the best. “I’m proud of you. Really.”

Christopher moves to hug him and Buck opens his arms for him and hugs him carefully, not wanting to press down on any bruising or scrapes Christopher might have. 

“Thank you,” Christopher says, “Thank you, Buck.”

“No, thank you,” Buck tells him, and god, does he mean it. “You and me,” he says, “Future firefighters.”

Christopher’s smiling at him when their hug ends. “Future firefighters,” Christopher agrees, “You and me.”

***

The water starts to recede. Viciously. Violently. People fall back into the water. People yell for help. Buck tries to help them.

And while Buck is busy helping pull someone back onto the truck, the truck is pushed abruptly by the force of the water and Christopher falls in too.

“Christopher!” Buck screams, and dives in after him without so much as taking a breath.

Half an hour later, Buck is still yelling for him, “Chris! Christopher! Christopher!”

He’s reached streets that the water has receded from, so he’s able to walk, splashing around as he rushes desperately from survivor to survivor.

“Has anyone seen a…a boy in the water? He’s eight! He’s got brown hair, glasses, yellow t-shirt…” He walks up to another group of people, “Have…have you seen a little…a little boy?”

“No,” one of the women says, looking so, so sorry for him. “I’m sorry.”

Buck flinches when he sees yet another body lying half on debris and half in the shallow water. He feels sick. So nauseous and dehydrated and tired. But he doesn’t stop. He doesn’t stop even when he finds Christopher’s glasses on top of another pile of floating debris. He refuses to fear the worst. He doesn’t care how long it takes him. He will not stop looking. He will find Christopher again.

Because Christopher will keep fighting. He will just keep swimming.

So Buck has to do everything in his power to find him. And then he has to keep him safe and not let him go. Buck will not rest until he can safely place Christopher back in Eddie’s arms, wherever Eddie is.

***

Eddie and the 118 have had a hell of a few hours. They are on search and rescue with all the other firehouses in the area, and have carried out rescues today that Eddie is never going to forget as long as he lives: the boat with the groom and the son-in-law pinned together and pierced through by an antenna; the ferris wheel; the water receding.

And the day is still far, far from over yet.

Eddie, Bobby and Lena have just helped the last of the ferris wheel survivors to temporary aid stations. Bobby’s speaking to someone, and Lena, who is normally the most composed person Eddie has ever met, has been composedly freaking out since finding out that the 136 – her old firehouse – had been attending a call near the pier when the wave hit.

“Lena,” Bobby tells her, coming back to join them, “The crew from your old house are all alive and accounted for,” and Eddie watches relief fill Lena’s face, before it abruptly drops away again as Bobby continues, “except for Captain Cooper. He’s still MIA. I’m sorry.”

“Is there any way I can stay around here with the aid, Captain?” Lena asks, “I need to stick around and look for him.”

In any other circumstance, Eddie knows Bobby would agree, because they all know how highly Lena thinks of her old captain, her old team. She still goes to as many social events with her old team from the 136 as she does with the 118. But Bobby doesn't agree, because he notices what Lena has been trying to hide, “Why are you holding yourself like that?” he asks.

“It’s nothing,” Lena dismisses, “Bruised rib.”

Eddie raises an eyebrow. He’s worked with Lena long enough to know she’s lying. The force of the water gave the ferris wheel a fierce jolt. He knows Lena took a hit. “Let me take a look at that,” Eddie says.

“I said it’s nothing,” Lena protests, defensive.

Which only means one thing; “Clearly it’s not,” Eddie argues.

“Are you gonna drop this?” Lena snaps.

“Hey, Bosko,” Bobby says, and he’s ordering her now as her Captain, not as her friend, “Let him have a look. I’m not asking.”

Lena has no choice but to reluctantly allow Eddie to look.

“Yeah, that’s not a bruise. It’s broken,” Eddie says. He glances up at Lena. He knows she’s a badass. He’s always known it. She’s been Eddie’s partner in the field for almost a year. They train together at the gym. She’s strong, she’s athletic. But he knows how much this must hurt. “Must be hurting like a bitch.”

“Yeah, well,” Lena finally allows; the mask of determination dropping for just a second, “Breathing isn’t super fun.”

“I’m calling it,” Bobby says immediately, because Lena Bosko expressing even the tiniest ounce of pain, actually means she’s in a hell of a lot of pain. “You’re off the field.”

“Sir,” Lena argues, insistent, “I said I’m fine.”

Bobby doesn’t listen. He beckons over an emergency vehicle and says to Eddie “USAR Command is setting up the VA hospital on Sawtelle. I want you to stick with Lena just in case her desire to track down Captain Cooper causes her to lose her way.” He sends Lena one of his most fatherly warning glances, “I’m going to meet up with the 118. Rendezvous with us when you can.”

“Copy that, Cap,” Eddie nods.

Eddie knows Lena’s going to be pissed at him, but she’s Eddie’s partner, and Eddie’s going to make sure she’s given proper medical care and not let her shrug this off and wear herself out continuing to look for Captain Cooper and potentially cause herself further injury.

Before they get on the vehicle, Eddie fishes out his phone.

“Who you calling?” Lena asks, “Christopher?”

“His babysitter. I just want to check in with Chris. With losing Shannon…” Eddie stops, “I don’t want him to be worrying about me.”

Lena puts her hand on Eddie’s shoulder. Her expression softened already.

The call to Laura goes straight to answerphone, but that doesn’t concern Eddie; she was planning to take Christopher to the cinema. All being well they will still be watching the movie, totally oblivious to everything that has gone on. “Hey Laura, it’s Eddie,” he leaves a message, “Could you please tell Christopher I’ll be a little late picking him up? We’ve got our hands full here, you’ll find out soon enough why. I’m glad you guys have missed it and I hope you guys are having fun. I’ll see you later.”

As Eddie helps Lena up onto the back of the rescue vehicle and then jumps up beside her, ready to be driven to the VA hospital, he thanks god that Christopher is safe and is nowhere near all of this.

***

Buck is still walking and still searching and still calling for Christopher. He’s checked refuge points at the promenade and the high school, but hasn’t had any luck. He refuses to give up hope. He has to find Christopher. He just has to.

He’s wearing Christopher’s glasses around his neck, and keeps holding onto them, and hoping, hoping to find him alive and ok.

Suddenly he hears a woman shout, “Hey! There’s a kid under here!”

“Christopher?” Buck whispers, panicked. He rushes over, and sees that the woman is pointing at some kind of large metal sign. “Hey! Hey guys, hey, hey, big guy,” he calls a nearby man over, “Me and you, come on!” They both grab hold of the sign, and Buck winces as the jagged metal scratches his arm, but then someone else runs in to help and he pushes the pain aside. “Alright, three, two, one…go!” They lift it.

 It’s not Christopher underneath, it’s a teenage girl, but Buck’s still glad that he helped save her.

“Hey, hey, hey! Excuse me?” he asks the group of people before he has to move on and keep looking, “I’m looking for an eight-year-old boy. His name is Christopher. He’s always smiling, and he’s got CP; Cerebral Palsy. He’s got…he’s got brown hair, y-yellow shirt.”

He has asked so many people. He’s described Christopher to so many people. And none of them have seen him.

But then a guy about his age, with long blonde hair and who must have been surfing at the beach – he’s wearing a wetsuit – says what Buck has been praying to hear, “Yeah, yeah I think I saw him.”

He says it so normally, like he hasn't just answered all of Buck's prayers.

Buck’s heart jolts hopefully in his chest, “Where?” Buck asks desperately, “Where?”

“He was headed with a group to that cupcakery place. I heard they’re handing out water. You know - a cupcake bakery?”

“Yeah, yeah I do. I worked at one,” Buck says, “Where is it?”

“It’s about six or seven blocks south of here on Strand,” the guy says.

“Thank you,” Buck says, “Thank you.” He would thank the guy a thousand times if he could, but he hasn’t got time. He has to find Christopher. If it really was Christopher the guy saw, and if Christopher is still there, then Buck has to get there before Christopher is moved on. So he rushes away.

By the time Buck makes it to the cupcakery place, he’s well and truly physically and emotionally drained, but he keeps pushing past it. He’s been pushing past it for hours. It has to have been hours. He has no idea what time it is. How long it’s been.

He staggers towards the group of people outside, hoping to push into the throng and ask all of them at once if they’ve seen Christopher, but before he can, a teenage boy gets in his way.

“Mister, are you ok?” the kid asks, “You’re bleeding…”

Buck frowns at him before his eyes follow where the kid’s finger is pointing. It is only then that Buck notices his arm is drenched in blood. He realises the metal sign from earlier must have cut him deeper than he thought. At the sight of it he staggers, but there’s people there to support him and keep him upright.

“Can I get you something for that?” the kid asks.

Buck’s about to reply, when his eyes catch and snap back to someone he spots over the kid’s shoulder.

“Christopher?” Buck says, but it comes out as barely a whisper, “Christopher?!” he says, much, much louder the second time.

And then he hears the cry back “Buck!”

The short lady carrying Christopher in her arms turns as Buck stumbles over, “Christopher! Oh, thank god." He's already crying in relief. "Thank god!”

“You’re Buck?” the lady asks him, “He was looking for Buck?”

“Yeah…yeah that’s me. I’m Buck,” Buck’s eyes are still spilling tears as the lady puts Christopher down and Buck slings his good arm around Christopher to hug him tight, “Thank you, thank you so much,” he says as he looks up at the lady over Christopher’s shoulder. He draws back enough to look at Christopher’s face and check on him. He looks ok. Thank god, he looks ok! “Hey, hey Chris,” he says, “Are you ok? Are you alright? Hey, look, I…I found your glasses,” he unhooks them from around his neck and loops the band around Christopher’s neck where they belong. “Are you ok?”

“I’m ok, Buck,” Christopher tells him, and he’s smiling, still. Just keeping on swimming. What an amazing kid he is. “Rosa looked after me.”

Buck looks up at the woman again, “You’re Rosa?”

The lady nods and smiles.

“Thank you, Rosa,” Buck says, reaching out, grateful when Rosa clasps his hand, accepts his thanks. “Thank you.”

“Buck?” Rosa says, and her eyes have fallen to Buck’s bleeding arm, “Do you need help?”

“I…I need a phone,” Buck says.

Someone from the little group at the cupcakery has a phone that’s working and allows Buck to make a quick call. Rosa and the teenage boy insist on wrapping a scrap of material around Buck’s arm and someone from the cupcakery gives him a red sweatshirt to keep Christopher warm. There’s a plan among the group to walk to a VA hospital that has apparently been set up at the Command Centre at Sawtelle. Buck plans to go with them. If he is going to find any first responders that will help him find Eddie, he will surely find some there.

It only takes a couple of rings for Maddie to answer Buck’s call, “Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me,” Buck says.

“Buck? Where are you?” Maddie’s voice sounds tired, strained, because she will have been responding to horrifying 9-1-1 calls the whole terrifying time. Buck's sister is a saint, and he honestly doesn't know how she does it. “I don’t know this number.”

“I borrowed someone else’s phone,” Buck tells her, “Maddie, I need your help.”

“Ok, tell me what’s wrong…” Maddie must be able to hear how Buck’s doing in his voice, just as he knew with hers, because the first thing she does is ask, “Are you hurt?”

Buck ignores the question, because he doesn’t want to use up too much of the phone owners’ limited remaining battery. “I need you to get in touch with Eddie for me. You know, Eddie Diaz from the 118?”

“What? Buck? Why?”

“Maddie,” Buck takes a breath, because he knows how she’ll react, “I was at the pier…”

“Oh my god, you were there?!”

“But Christopher…Eddie’s son Christopher, he was there at the pier with his…with his babysitter. I have him. I…I kept him safe. We were uh…we were on top of the ladder truck, then the water receded…I lost him, for an hour, or two, I don’t know how long. I’ve lost track. But I kept looking for him. I didn’t stop looking for him. I checked refuge camps at the promenade, at the high school, but I found him. I found him at a cupcakery, of all places…”

“Ok, you’re not answering me,” Maddie demands, “Are you injured, bleeding?”

“No, it doesn’t matter,” Buck insists, “I just need to get Christopher back to his dad.”

“Where are you? Can you get to the VA hospital? The Command Centre, you know, on Sawtelle?”

“We're going to head there now. We’re not far away. But I need to find Eddie…”

“So, Eddie doesn’t know what happened? He didn’t know Christopher was at the pier?”

“Christopher says his babysitter planned for them to go to the cinema but the cinema was closed when they got there – a power cut in the building – so they changed their plans last minute. I don’t know if Eddie knows. So, please, can you…can you find a way to tell him. To meet us at the VA hospital. We’re going to walk there now…”

“Buck, you haven’t told me, are you hurt? Are you even in a condition to get to the VA hospital?”

“I’m getting him there. I'm carrying him there.”

“You're not answering me! I’m coming down there.”

“No, no! Maddie! Maddie?”

But Maddie’s cut the call off. Buck hands the phone back to its owner with thanks. His arm is wrapped up enough and the bleeding seems to have slowed, so he hoists Christopher into his arms, because Christopher is so tired he can hardly stand, let alone walk, and Buck sets off with the group of survivors to get to the VA hospital.

***

As soon as Eddie got Lena to the VA hospital, he was called to help out with someone else, and then the next person, and then the next person. He manages to get a hold of Bobby, because he’s clearly desperately needed here, and Bobby says the 118 will come to them for the rendezvous instead, and for Eddie to stay and help out.

Eddie’s currently strapping a young man’s arm into a sling. “It looks like you’re going to have to get used to being a southpaw for the time being,” he says as he finishes.

“Best time to work on your change-up and curveball,” Lena’s voice says from behind him, and Eddie’s relieved to hear her voice.

He stands up and turns to her, “What was it again?” he asks her teasingly, “Class A regional all-star, two years straight?”

“That’s right.”

“Naturally,” Eddie grins, because she’s possibly the coolest person Eddie knows, “You all fixed up?”

“All taped up, pain killed, and raring to get back out,” Lena says, because of course she does.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Eddie says, because they both know it’s a bad idea.

Lena shifts, and she looks as heartbroken as Eddie has ever seen her, “Ronnie’s still somewhere out there,” she says.

“There are already people looking for him,” Eddie reasons with her.

“And there’s going to be one more.”

“Man, you’re stubborn.”

“It’s what you love about me,” Lena tells him.

Eddie rolls his eyes fondly and is about to reply, when there's a commotion behind Lena and he suddenly sees Athena, “Hang on,” he begs Lena, “Don't go anywhere. Wait there.” And he strides towards Athena, “Hey, Athena!” But then he stops in his tracks, shocked to see that she’s absolutely covered in blood.

“It’s not my blood,” she says, and she sounds like she’s been through hell and back, “It’s his.”

She gestures to a stretcher, and Eddie witnesses the moment Lena spots who it is on the stretcher; who has had his arm amputated by Athena.

“Coop?” Lena asks, emotion welling in her voice as she moves to walk beside the stretcher, “Ronnie, can you hear me?”

“Bo-Bosko?” he asks, and Eddie hears Lena audibly sigh in relief at hearing his voice. “Our crew?”

Eddie knows how much Lena misses the 136. He knows because Lena has confided in him that as much as she likes everyone at the 118, she has considered transferring back to the 136. Eddie notices that she doesn’t correct Captain Cooper when he says ‘our crew’, as if Lena is still a member of the 136.

“Yeah,” Lena tells him, “Our crew are all ok.”

Eddie lets Lena go with Captain Cooper, and makes sure Athena is ok instead, until he gets another call to go back into the hospital and help out with someone else. He’s just got into the building when he recognises someone who has just been brought in; lying on one of the make-shift beds, looking very worse for wear.

His stomach drops when he realises who it is. And he feels like he’s going to throw up.

It’s Laura. Christopher’s babysitter.

“Laura?” he says faintly.

Laura’s eyes open and when she sees him, her skin goes impossibly paler, and he has to hurry to hand her a nearby bucket for when she throws up. He can't help but notice all the foreign matter in her vomit that she must have inhaled or swallowed in the water.

In the water.

If Laura is here, if she was in the water…where the hell is Christopher?!

“Laura, what are you doing here?” he asks, looking around for wildly for Christopher. Oh god, what if he’s hurt… “Where…where’s Christopher?”

“Eddie,” Laura's eyes are wide with panic; she looks on the verge of a panic attack, “Eddie…we um…me and Christopher…we were…at the beach…” there had been a sense of dread in Eddie that that was what she was going to say, but then Laura carries on, “I swear to you…I only left him, for like a moment, I tried…and I just…but I…I just don’t know how to say it…”

And suddenly Eddie understands what she’s trying to tell him. And Eddie doesn’t know what to do. He feels hopelessly lost and trapped all at once. His heart and his breath are frozen in his chest. He doesn't want to believe it. He wants it not to be true. He doesn’t know what to do. He’s lost. He’s set adrift. What the fuck is he going to do? What the fuck is he going to do without Christopher? What is life without Christopher? He doesn’t have a life without Christopher and…Eddie looks away from Laura as his brain seems to shut down and he stops hearing her; like his mind is trying to protect him from the trauma. His heart is breaking. It’s like a bullet, forcing its way slow-motion into his chest, twisting and tearing into his heart and shattering it on impact, pulling it apart piece by ragged piece. He can’t breathe…he can’t…

His eyes fall on someone in the distance, and even through the tears that are brimming and burning in his eyes he thinks he sees him, and his heart swoops and soars with hope.

“Christopher?” he cries out, “Christopher?!” and he takes off out of the hospital and into the throng of people and vehicles outside.

Christopher is being carried by someone, a man who is facing the other way, which means Eddie can see Christopher’s face over the man’s shoulder, and that’s all Eddie can focus on. That’s all he sees. Christopher’s face. That Christopher is alive.

And then Christopher suddenly sees him, too.

“Dad!” Christopher cries out to him as Eddie barrels towards him, “Dad!”

“Oh my god!” Eddie chokes out, “Thank god, thank god.” He’s still staring at Christopher, drinking in the sight of him, as whoever is holding Christopher turns around and puts him into Eddie’s arms. Eddie holds Christopher close, hugs him tight, and swears he might never let him go. Christopher’s clutching him back just as tight. “Oh my god mijo, I got you, I got you. Thank god. Thank you,” he finally says, his eyes finally looking up at whoever had been carrying Christopher, “Thank you, god I…” He stops.

He stares.

“Buck?” Eddie says. And he can’t believe it. He can’t.

Buck’s standing there in torn, dirty and bloodied clothes. He’s got scratches across his face, and a piece of bloodied material is wrapped around his forearm. He’s bruised and pale. He looks a lot more beaten up than Christopher does, and somehow Eddie knows, Eddie just knows, that it’s Buck that’s made sure Christopher is safe.

“Buck, what happened to you?” Chim’s voice startles Eddie - he hadn't seen the 118 arrive - and it startles Buck too, but they don’t stop staring at each other. Eddie’s holding Christopher to him, his hand cupping the back of Christopher’s head, his fingers buried in Christopher’s curly hair, and Eddie can see in Buck’s eyes that whatever energy, whatever adrenaline he was still running on is fading fast at the sight of Eddie and Christopher reunited.

“Hey?” Bobby’s voice joins Chim’s. He sounds just as confused to see Buck and Christopher there as Eddie was, “Buck?”

“Bobby,” Buck speaks for the first time since Eddie saw him and Christopher. Buck's voice is rasping as he acknowledges Bobby like he always does, like it’s instinct.

“You two ok?” Bobby asks.

“We’re…we’re great…” Buck says, suddenly unbearably weary and faint, a second before he collapses forwards. 

The 118 are there to catch him. Eddie moves forward and uses the arm not holding Christopher to put a hand to Buck’s chest to help stop him falling forward and he hears Chim and Hen exclaiming as they and Bobby catch Buck’s arms and guide him back to lower him down to the ground.

“Hang in there,” Hen is saying, “Hang in there, Buck.”

As they sit Buck down, Eddie goes with him, sitting opposite him, arranging Christopher on his lap. Eddie’s still not taken his eyes off of Buck, and Buck’s still not taken his eyes off Eddie and Christopher.

“Buck, are you ok?” Eddie asks him, softly urgent, searching Buck’s face, “What happened?” he moves back to take another, better look at Christopher, “Christopher? Are you ok?”

“I’m ok,” Christopher says, “Buck saved me. He kept me safe.”

“No,” Buck says, “We kept each other safe, remember?”

Christopher nods, “We kept each other safe.”

Eddie's suddenly lost for words. He leans forwards to tangle his fingers with Buck’s, hoping Buck understands. He doesn’t know how he’ll ever thank him.

Eddie has a hundred questions. How did Buck and Christopher find each other? Was Buck at the pier too? He tries not to think about how hard they must have fought to survive, and focuses on the most important matter at hand; making sure the both of them are ok.

Christopher looks exhausted, and Buck looks beyond exhausted.

Hen comes back – to be honest, Eddie has been so focused on Christopher and Buck he hadn’t even noticed her leave – and says she’s found some space for Buck and Christopher inside the hospital. She lists things like dehydration, and needing to properly clean any cuts they have.

Eddie lifts Christopher as he stands, and Hen, Chim and Bobby get Buck standing. Hen goes on ahead as Bobby and Chim take an arm of Buck’s each to support him inside. Eddie walks just before them with Christopher.

As they step through the door into the hospital, Eddie hears a gasp, and Christopher cries out “Laura!”

Laura promptly bursts into tears. Eddie’s filled with sympathy for her, and he carries Christopher over to her bedside and sets him down next to her.

“I’m so sorry, Christopher,” Laura sobs, “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s ok Laura,” Christopher tells her, “We’re both ok.” He looks up and smiles towards where Buck is being helped down by Bobby and Chim as Hen wheels over a drip stand with a bag of IV fluids. “Buck kept me safe.”

Eddie looks over at Buck, then, and he's pretty sure the sight of him in that moment, after hearing Christopher's words about him, is what tips Eddie's undeniable crush on Buck over the edge into a fall to something much stronger, and much deeper.

***

Buck’s taken aback by the way Eddie’s looking at him. It’s so intensely grateful and amazed and full of emotion. It’s so powerful a look in Eddie’s eyes - on Eddie's beautiful face - that Buck can’t hold his gaze for long. Buck feels guilty that Eddie’s looking at him like Buck is a hero that he could never do enough to thank, when Eddie doesn’t know that Buck wasn’t able to protect Christopher, not for the whole time, not when he lost him for several hours.

Buck’s so glad to see that Christopher’s babysitter is alive, but he doesn't see or hear much of what is said between them. He's distracted as Hen and Chim set about checking up on him, getting the IV in his arm, looking at his cut on his other arm. The 118 look exhausted too; they have been on search and rescue for hours, and Buck once again marvels at how incredible they all are. He thinks about how incredible Maddie is, handling all the 9-1-1 calls today, too. Chim tells Buck that Maddie is on her way still, trying to get through.

It's not long before Eddie brings Christopher over and sits him down on the bed beside Buck's so that Christopher can be checked out too.

“Hey Buck,” Christopher says.

“Hey Dory,” Buck replies, to make Christopher giggle.

“Dory?” Eddie asks, eyebrow raising. He’s putting on a brave face for Christopher, Buck can tell. He can see how drawn Eddie's face is, how worried and scared he's been.

“Yeah!” Christopher says, “We just kept swimming."

“Yeah Chris,” Buck agrees, tiredness rolling over him now that he's been made to lie down by Hen and Chim, “Yeah we did.”

“Hey,” Eddie says, and Buck looks up at him. Eddie’s got a look in his eyes that Buck’s never seen before, and he leans over until he’s cupping Buck’s face, just like Christopher had done when he said ‘You’re gonna be ok, kid’.

“You can sleep, Buck," Eddie tells him, "If you’re tired."

“I don’t know if I can,” Buck confesses in a whisper, eyes darting to Christopher. It feels like if he takes his eyes off Christopher again, he might lose him again and he can’t and…

“It’s gonna be ok, Buck,” Eddie tells him, “I’ve got you. And we’ll still be here when you wake up.”

“Promise?” Buck asks. Normally he would be embarrassed about how small his voice sounds, but he feels safe with Eddie, safe to be honest with him.

“Promise,” Eddie vows. His thumb brushes over Buck’s hairline, “Thank you, for making sure Christopher came home.”

And finally, finally,  on receiving confirmation in Eddie's voice that Buck has kept Christopher alive and managed to get him back to Eddie - that Buck has done everything he vowed today that he would do - finally, he lets himself rest.

***

Eddie sits between Buck and Christopher’s beds as they recuperate. They’ve been given the all-clear to go home once they are up to it, and thankfully don’t need transferring to a proper hospital. That they had been on the pier when the wave hit, and yet are physically only cut and bruised and exhausted, is truly incredible.

Christopher didn’t fall asleep as fast as Buck did, and as Christopher was being checked over, he told Eddie, and by extension Bobby, Hen and Chim, how he had happened to meet Buck on the pier, how Buck had picked him up and run away from the wave, how Buck helped Christopher onto the fire truck and then went on to save a number of other people. Christopher also told them that he had fallen off the truck while Buck was helping somebody, and Christopher had just kept swimming, just like he and Buck had talked about, until he had been found and helped by a lady called Rosa. Buck had then found him again and carried him to the VA hospital.

As Christopher told the story, Eddie held onto him tightly, and could not help but keep glancing at Buck, at his sleeping, scratched face, and finding himself amazed by Buck all over again.

Since Christopher fell asleep, Eddie’s been watching over the both of them. He’s tired and emotionally drained himself, but no force on heaven or earth could move him.

Buck wakes up suddenly, scrabbling and lurching upright, and the first word on his lips is “Christopher?!” It makes Eddie's heart ache as he catches him and eases him back down.

“Steady, Buck,” Eddie tells him, “I got you. You're safe. Christopher’s safe. He’s asleep. See?”

Buck turns wide eyes on Christopher, and once he sees him, he visibly relaxes.

“Hey,” Buck says to him, blinking up at him with tired blue eyes.

“Hey,” Eddie returns, “How you feeling?”

“Like I was in a tsunami,” Buck says, and winces.

“Easy,” Eddie urges him.

“I’m so sorry,” Buck says, and it takes Eddie by total surprise. It is the last thing Eddie would have expected him to say.

“What for?” Eddie asks, bewildered.

“I lost him, Eddie,” Buck admits, eyes growing glassy, “When the water receded, I…I lost him, for...for a couple of hours…I think? I don’t know. I lost track of time and I…” a lone tear escapes the corner of his eye and rolls down his bruised cheek towards his hairline.

Eddie brushes the tear away with his thumb before he can even think about it.

“Christopher told me,” Eddie tells him softly, “and I don’t…I don’t know how to thank you, Buck.”

“Thank me?” Buck starts to shake his head, “But after what happened…”

“A natural disaster happened, Buck,” Eddie says, adamant, "You couldn't have stopped the water receding any more than the rest of us."

“But I lost him, Eddie,” Buck persists, and he looks so devastated about it, so guilty. Eddie can hardly stand it.

“But you found him again,” Eddie tells him firmly, “And you saved him.” He points towards Christopher, “That’s how he remembers it.”

“He did the same for me,” Buck says immediately, “But I am sorry, I should have been looking out for him…”

“And what, you think you failed?” Eddie says, desperate to make Buck understand, “I failed that kid more times than I care to count, and I’m his father. But I love him enough to never stop trying.” What is it about Buck, Eddie wonders, that makes Eddie open up more than with anybody else? “And I know that today, you never stopped trying either, Buck. Hey,” Eddie says when Buck looks ready to try to blame himself again. Eddie moves his hand, so that it’s resting at the juncture of Buck’s neck and shoulder, “Buck, after today, I swear to god there’s nobody in this world I’d trust with my son more than you. Just, thank you. So much. Thank you. For not giving up.”

Buck’s eyes are tear-filled again, and Eddie moves his hand just enough to brush away another tear. They stay like that for a long moment, their eyes locked together. In that moment, Eddie gets the most natural and powerful urge to lean down and press his lips to Buck’s. But he doesn’t. They are both tired, and emotional, and Eddie doesn’t even know if Buck would even reciprocate, and he’s not going to do anything to jeopardise this friendship. Nothing. Not when Buck has fought all day to keep his son safe, without Eddie even knowing until it was over. 

Eddie has to withdraw his hand when Maddie arrives, and Eddie swears he sees something like disappointment flicker across Buck’s face when Eddie’s hand leaves his face.

“Today," Maddie says as she kneels down on Buck's other side, "I thought to myself ‘thank god my brother works at a bowling alley and nowhere near this nightmare’, and I was weirdly grateful. But I should have known when I didn’t hear from you. I should have known…”

“Sorry, Mads,” Buck says, reaching for her, and she takes his hand and lifts it so she can press her lips to the back of it.

“Don’t you be sorry,” she tells him.

“He kept my son safe,” Eddie tells her, “If Buck hadn’t been there…” he trails off, because they all know, and it makes Eddie’s heart twist painfully; a shadow of how it had felt in those seconds where he had seen Laura and had actually thought his son was gone.

He’s surprised when Buck reaches out his free hand to take the hand of Eddie’s that isn’t keeping a constant hold of Christopher.

“You’ve kept me safe enough times now that it was about time that I returned the favour,” Buck says, and he’s trying to be light-hearted, to cheer Eddie, but it just makes Eddie think about how he and Buck have become so inextricably linked in less than a year after only a number of chance meetings, and one or two intentional ones, and just how grateful he is to have met Buck, and that Christopher met Buck, so that Buck recognised Christopher on that pier and was with him when the wave…

Eddie links his fingers through Buck’s and lets it anchor him; lets Buck anchor him. And he can only hope that he’s providing the same comfort and support for Buck.

Eventually Maddie prepares to take Buck home with her so that she can keep an eye on him for the next couple of days (‘or week or month or forever’ she adds), and Eddie is going to take Christopher home, to get him bathed and fed and cuddled.

“Hey Buck,” Christopher says, before Buck leaves, “You have to come and watch Finding Dory with us soon.”

Buck glances up at Eddie, and although Eddie’s surprised, he doesn’t let on. “He hasn’t seen Finding Dory?!” Eddie says, mock-outraged.

“I know,” Buck smiles sheepishly. He looks tired still, and the scratches and scrapes look stark against his pale skin, but he looks much better than he did, thanks to the fluids and clean bandages. “I have seen Coco though.”

“Well, that gets you some points back,” Eddie says, “Doesn’t it, Chris?”

Christopher nods. “He can come round and watch some movies with us, right Dad?”

Eddie looks from Christopher to Buck, “Well,” he says, “Only if Buck wants.”

Buck’s blue eyes drop, before catching onto Eddie’s once more, and he smiles, soft, “I would like that,” Buck says.

“Alright then,” Eddie says, trying to ignore how his heart quickens at just the idea of seeing Buck again, and in their home, “Movie night. I’ll text you.”

“Urm…” Buck says, smile dropping, “My phone is…”

Somewhere in a pile of debris, or been dragged out to sea.

“Oh, right,” Eddie says, feeling awkward all of a sudden, “Yeah.”

“Tell you what,” Maddie sidles in, “I'll get Eddie’s number from Chim, and as soon as we sort Buck out a new phone, I’ll make sure Buck gets your number. Ok?”

Buck’s smiling again, so Eddie does too, though not as brightly. He’s not sure anyone can smile as brightly as Buck; he is without a doubt the most attractive man Eddie has ever seen.

“Sounds good,” Eddie says, “So, we’ll see you soon?”

Buck nods, “Ok,” he says, and he almost sounds shy. It’s the first time Eddie’s seen colour back in Buck’s cheeks since he found them. “See you soon, Eddie, Christopher.”

“Bye Buck,” Christopher says, “Thank you.”

“Thank you,” Buck tells him, kneeling down to envelope Christopher in a hug, and Eddie’s heart swoops at the sight of them. "You and me," Buck says, "Future firefighters, right?"

"Future firefighters!" Christopher repeats into Buck's shoulder. 

When Christopher lets Buck go, Eddie steps forward and helps Buck to stand before he hugs Buck too, careful, so careful, to avoid squeezing Buck too tightly and potentially hurting him.

“Take care of yourselves,” Buck says.

“We will,” Eddie says, “And you too, Buck, for the love of god, stay safe, would you?”

Buck’s lips quirk up into another smile, “I’ll try my best,” he says.

Eddie knows that he's not going to let Christopher go for the rest of the night, and he finds himself wishing that he didn't have to let Buck go either. But eventually he forces himself to pull back, loath to let Buck go, hand on Buck’s shoulder as he thanks him, not for the first time and certainly not for the last time, for everything. For never giving up.

Chapter Text

In the aftermath of the tsunami, Eddie had told Buck that he and Christopher would take care of themselves. Eddie lifts his t-shirt to inspect the bruising on his side and feels guilty for not keeping his promise.

He has a lot to feel guilty over, lately.

He feels guilty that he can’t do more to help Christopher while his son is suffering from nightmares about the tsunami and his mom. He’s been taking Christopher to see a psychologist, but Eddie hates that there’s not more he can do himself, and that he knows Christopher isn’t telling him everything to save Eddie from being upset. He feels guilty that he feels angry at Shannon for leaving them again, he feels guilty for feeling it because she didn’t have a choice this time. She had had a choice to suggest a divorce though, and their fragile stop-start beginnings of reconciliation had crumbled through Eddie’s fingers. He feels guilty for not trying harder to feel the same for her as he had done the first time around.

He feels guilty for being frustrated over his issues finding childcare, because Laura is still recovering from the tsunami, and Eddie already knows there’s a high chance she probably won’t be coming back even when she is recovered, because she feels guilty too, for what happened. It’s left Eddie in the lurch, having to rely on his Abuela and Tia Pepa again, which was why he had sought out Laura in the first place; to relieve at least some of the babysitting duties from his Abuela and Tia. After a talk with Tia Pepa about it being a lot for Abuela to handle at her age – looking after Christopher every time Eddie’s on shift and Chris isn’t in school – Eddie’s recently had to start looking for permanent help, but there’s so many forms and so many hurdles to jump, and even finding a temporary solution in the meantime has proved difficult, which has just added to his stress.

He also feels guilty for losing control, for punching the guy who gave him grief over using a disabled parking space, for getting arrested for it and needing to be bailed out by Lena. Lena’s kept it to herself, like Eddie knew she would, but he feels guilty for dragging her into it.

Still, it meant Lena had seen that he needed an outlet, and had taken him to a fight club.

“You’re a powder keg,” she’d said, “You beat up a guy over a parking space. I thought this place could be a healthy outlet for your issues.” And then she’d shown Eddie – and everyone else there – how it was done by working out some of her own frustrations (mainly revolving around her indecision over the 136, particularly with Captain Cooper still recovering) by beating her opponent in an impressively short amount of time.

So, Eddie decided to try it. And it helped. It is by far the most effective therapy Eddie has ever tried. He’s always been a man that finds action easier than words. It’s almost addicting, the adrenaline rush, the excuse to be able to take out your anger. And the bruises are nothing Eddie can’t handle.

Lena’s the only one from the 118 who knows anything about how he’s feeling, and even she doesn’t know the full story. He knows if he wanted, he could rely on the rest of the team – on Bobby, Chim and Hen – but he knows he can get a handle on this himself, on his own, and he doesn’t need to bother anyone else with it. He can figure out how to shake it off, move on. He always does.

The only person who Eddie’s really spoken to outside of work lately other than Lena is Buck. Maddie had made sure Buck got Eddie’s number when he had replaced the phone he’d lost in the tsunami, and Eddie and Buck have been texting again since. Eddie knows he has a habit of spilling his guts to Buck when in person, but texting is fine; he’s able to control what he reveals by composing a text. So, while Buck has been asking how Christopher’s doing after the tsunami, and Eddie has been checking in on Buck, Eddie hasn’t told Buck much else about what’s going on with himself. Buck doesn’t know about the fights, and Eddie doesn’t want him to know, because text chatting with Buck is the only other thing besides Lena and the fights, and cuddles with Christopher, that is making Eddie feel even remotely at peace at the moment. Buck is a separate entity, away from work, away from family, and who has a hundred topics of light conversation and anecdotes that helps Eddie take a break from the turmoil and the anger and the urge to go and fight the anger away.

But tonight is the first time Eddie is going to be seeing Buck in person since the tsunami. He’s not seen Buck for over a month, because Buck’s finally had the screws removed from his leg and has been busy focusing on his physical therapy to make sure it fully heals. Eddie sent a card from him and Christopher via Chim via Maddie, but both he and Buck each have had too much of their own stuff going on to find a mutually free time to meet up.

But finally they have organised the movie night Christopher had invited Buck to. While Eddie is looking forward to seeing Buck, and he thinks seeing Buck might be good for Christopher too, Eddie knows he’s going to have to be in control enough tonight to hide the rest of his emotional baggage from Buck. Buck has enough of his own problems, he doesn’t need Eddie’s too; because Eddie knows Buck well enough by now to know that Buck would try to take on Eddie’s worries as well.

Eddie smooths his long sleeve t-shirt back into place, hiding the bruise, trying to justify that the nerves he’s feeling about Buck’s imminent arrival at his house are about not wanting to slip up and admit to losing control, more than anything else. It’s not, of course. The nerves are because he’s fallen hard for Buck but has no idea what to do about it; he doesn’t even know if Buck feels the same – he’s beginning to suspect that Buck isn’t as heterosexual as Eddie first assumed, but Eddie has had no confirmation either way – and even if Buck is or isn’t straight, Eddie feels guilty, again, because it feels like he shouldn’t be feeling these things so soon after Shannon, even if his crush on Buck had started before Shannon had even come back into the picture.

It’s not long before there is a knock on the front door. Eddie opens it and finds Buck standing there, looking distractingly handsome in his nicely fitted navy shirt and jeans, with his pearly white and charming smile. Unsurprisingly at this point, he’s also carrying tupperware.

“Did you bring brownies?” Eddie asks. Most people take one look at Eddie and assume he’s a smooth talker. Eddie is not, in fact, smooth in the slightest. At least, not with people he has any kind of romantic interest in.

“Hello to you too,” Buck teases.

“Sorry,” Eddie grins sheepishly, foul mood and nerves already surprisingly evaporated, as he steps aside to let Buck in, “Hi.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Buck cocks his head with a grin as he steps past him, “I understand. It’s not the first time someone has preferred my brownies to me.” Thankfully, Buck carries right on talking before Eddie can say something embarrassing like ‘they might be the best brownies I’ve ever eaten but I’d still take you over them any day’. “I considered bringing beers, but Christopher wouldn’t be able to enjoy those so, I thought…brownies! Since you like them, I figured Christopher might too.”

“Christopher will love the brownies,” Eddie assures him, “Thank you.” Eddie can’t help but be endeared every time Buck thinks of Christopher too, and since Buck always seems to think of him and ask after him, Eddie’s getting to dangerous levels of endeared where Buck’s concerned. Eddie calls towards Christopher’s room, “Christopher! Buck’s here!” before turning to Buck and saying “I have plenty of beer in the fridge. I’ll grab you one now, if you want?”

“Thanks,” Buck smiles, following Eddie through to the kitchen and putting the tupperware on the worktop. Buck's not hiding the fact he is curiously looking around Eddie’s house. “You and Christopher have a lovely home, Eddie.”

“Thanks,” Eddie says, “How’s your leg?”

“Healing really good,” Buck says, “I’m off the blood thinners too!”

Eddie’s about to reply about how great that is, when Christopher’s voice travels from down the hallway, “Buck!”

Buck spins around with a huge grin, “Hey buddy! How are you doing?”

“I’m doing ok,” Christopher tells him, “I can’t wait to watch some movies!”

“Oh me too,” Buck tells him, “I wanted to watch Finding Dory as soon as you told me about it, but I stopped myself so I could watch it for the first time with you!”

Eddie freezes in the midst of taking the top off a beer bottle, unsure how Christopher will react to a reminder of the tsunami, since he’s gone so quiet about the topic to everyone but his psychologist.

So he’s relieved when Christopher just smiles up at Buck and says “You’ll love it, Buck! And I have lots more movies to show you too!”

“I’m looking forward to it!” Buck tells him sincerely, turning his smile on Eddie when Eddie passes him a beer, “Thanks.”

Eddie distracts himself from Buck being so amazing with his son by opening his own beer and announcing “I’m thinking we should order some pizza, huh?”

“Yes!” Christopher crows, delighted, as Eddie knew he would be, and god, it’s nice to see Christopher smiling more again. He’s been so quiet and unlike himself the last few weeks.

“Oooh sounds great!” Buck agrees, “What’s your favourite pizza topping, Christopher?”

“Margherita!”

“Ah, the classic that is loved by all! Just like you, Christopher! I should have known,” Buck nods theatrically and Christopher looks mightily pleased at being told he is loved by all. Which is absolutely true. He is. Buck looks at Eddie next, “And how about you, Dad? What's your topping of choice?”

Eddie tries not to stumble too much over Buck calling him ‘dad’ and mentioning topping, because good grief. “Anything with pepperoni or jalapenos.”

Buck tilts a grin at him, “Should have known you’d be a hot and spicy kind of guy.”

It’s blatant flirtations like this that makes Eddie truly hope about Buck’s feelings towards him in return. But Eddie’s heard stories from the 118 of Buck’s past dating escapades - all with women as far as Eddie’s heard - and he’s also heard that Buck is a natural flirt so he's trying not to read too much into Buck's cheeky flirtations but he wants to and…and Eddie shouldn’t be doing this, not so soon, not when he’s still so angry…

Eddie feels his ears heat at Buck’s words anyway and covers himself by rolling his eyes, “What are you, then?”

“Sweet and…meat?” Buck frowns at his own description – an expression that suggests he is mentally face-palming at his response – and Eddie grins despite himself, enjoying not being the only one now off-kilter. Buck pulls a face at Eddie’s amused reaction and waves his hand around as he clarifies, “I’m a hawaiian man.”

“You are?” Eddie feigns surprise, “I could have sworn you said you were from Pennsylvania.”

Buck laughs, “Alright, Dad Humour.”

“Says the guy who laughed. But seriously Buck, pineapple? On pizza?”

“The hawaiian pizza gets an unreasonable amount of grief. People are too quick to judge it, when actually it’s a hidden gem. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.” It sounds like a double-entendre about Buck himself.

“I guess I’ll have to try it for myself then,” Eddie says, because he can flirt back too, and he enjoys the look on Buck's face, “Guess I’m ordering one margherita, one hawaiian and one pepperoni. And brownies for dessert.”

Christopher cheers.

Buck’s smirk softens, “Sounds good to me.”

Christopher cheering and laughing, Buck here and joking with them; it all sounds good to Eddie, too.

Eddie had been worried about revealing too much to Buck, but in the end, he doesn’t speak to Buck alone for most of the night. The evening includes and revolves around Christopher, so it’s easy to focus on jokes and fun age-appropriate conversation as they share the pizza and brownies, and then watch Pixar movies. Christopher sits between them on the couch.

It’s nice. It’s more than nice. Eddie is able to shut down his loud mind for an evening, hanging out with a friend of similar age, bantering, and although the tsunami is never mentioned, he can tell that both Christopher and Buck are appreciating being able to keep their promise to each other to watch these movies when it was all over. It’s clear that Christopher adores Buck, and that Buck thinks the world of Christopher; it’s so obvious. And it’s comforting.

Christopher falls asleep halfway through Toy Story 2, and Eddie shows Buck to the door, talking quietly as they go so as not to wake Christopher.

“I’ve had fun tonight, Eddie,” Buck says, “Thanks for inviting me.”

“I’ve had fun too,” Eddie says, “And I know Christopher has. I appreciate you agreeing to come over. I’m sure you normally have more exciting plans on a Friday night.”

“No, not really,” Buck shrugs, “Honestly, it’s been nice to hang out with people outside of work and my sister – and Chim, now they’ve finally got their act together.”

That takes Eddie by surprise. Buck always seems to get on well with people; in every job Eddie’s ever seen him in he clearly gets on well with his co-workers, and Eddie had just assumed Buck had plenty of friends outside of work.

Buck must see Eddie’s surprise because he shrugs again and says, “I change jobs so often that a lot of the brief friendships I make don’t come with me. It’s one of the reasons I’m hoping to find something more permanent soon. Maybe I’ll be able to find something that lasts, find my place and my people, you know?”

Eddie knows how lucky he himself has been finding that with the 118, becoming friends with Bobby, Athena, Lena, Chim, Hen and Karen. He hopes Buck can find that too, and that he might find it with the 118 as well.

“I’m sure you will,” Eddie tells him, picking up the empty tupperware from the kitchen and giving it back to Buck, “And it’ll have been worth the wait.”

Buck smiles at him, “I’m sure it will.” He sounds so hopeful.

Eddie smiles back, and it would be so easy, so easy to step forward and kiss Buck right now. So easy to tell him that Buck could find his place and people right here in Eddie's home if he wants to. But Eddie can’t. He’s not ready. He’s not even sure he’d be the kind of person Buck would even want; would a twenty-seven-year-old guy with no parental responsibilities even want to date a thirty-one-year-old man who is ex-army, a widow, and has an eight-year-old kid who will always comes first?

And even if Buck did, Eddie’s been out of the dating game for a long time. If he’d even ever been in it in the first place. He’s only ever really dated Shannon, and he didn’t do any dating between Shannon leaving and finding her again, because he was so focused on being a single dad and the move and the new job and making up for his lost time – and Shannon’s absence – with Christopher.

“Well,” Eddie clears his throat, because he might not be brave enough to ask Buck on a proper date, but he can do the next best thing, “We should do this again, sometime, if you’d like to?”

Buck’s smile grows brighter, “Yeah, yeah that would be great!”

“Then we’ll organise something,” Eddie says, because he wants to. Despite all his guilt and all his ‘too soon’s, he wants to see Buck again like this. So badly.

“Cool,” Buck says, “I’ll see you soon, then.”

It feels natural, when they hug goodbye. It’s only brief, but Eddie appreciates having a kind embrace, when this last week has involved so much anger and fight. Speaking of which, Buck’s arm knocks against the bruise as he pulls back, and Eddie winces, only minutely, but Buck picks up on it anyway.

“Eddie?” Buck asks, “You ok?”

“I took a bit of a hit during a rescue at work,” Eddie lies, gesturing vaguely at his side, “Just some light bruising.”

“Oh,” Buck makes an aborted movement, reaching out as though to touch before retracting his hand again “Sorry for knocking it!”

“It’s ok,” before Eddie can think too much about it, he’s circling his fingers around Buck’s forearm reassuringly, “You didn’t know. And it’s fine, it’ll be good as new in a few days.” Well, unless the need to fight out his frustrations rises again.

“I hope so,” Buck says sincerely, turning his hand so that he’s clasping Eddie’s forearm in turn, before stepping away and saying goodbye.

***

Less than a week later, Buck is woken up by a loud knock on his front door.

“Wha?” Buck complains, looking blearily at his phone, and seeing that it’s gone 1am.

The banging continues, and is joined by a calling voice, but Buck’s not really listening to what it's saying as he climbs out of bed with his eyes half open and his phone still in his hand, staggers down the steps to the ground floor praying he doesn't trip and break his neck, and flings the door open.

To say he’s surprised to find Eddie Diaz on the other side dressed in his firefighter uniform is an understatement. Though, to be fair, Eddie looks even more shocked than Buck, but that's probably because, you know, Eddie's fully awake and aware that he's definitely not still asleep and just dreaming some kind of role play fantasy. 

“Eddie?” Buck frowns in tired confusion, “I know we said we’d meet up again soon but I didn’t expect you to turn up at - Chim?”

Chim has stepped up beside Eddie – also in uniform – and is looking at Buck with surprise too. But at least Buck now knows this isn't some kind of dream he's having, unless it is, and he's going to find it hard to look Maddie in the eye the next time he sees her because her boyfriend dream-cheated on her with Buck and dream-Eddie.

“Buck?” Chim asks, “What are you doing here?”

“What do you mean what am I doing here?” Buck complains, “I live here.”

Chim rolls his eyes ceiling-ward, “Of course you do. You and your luck.”

“Wait…” Buck’s brain isn’t nearly alert enough yet for this, “How did you know where I live?”

“We didn’t,” Eddie says, speaking for the first time, his eyes fixed on Buck’s face with a strange kind of focus, “There’s been reports of a gas leak in the building. We’re evacuating everybody.”

“Oh,” Buck says, processing, before stating, “So we have to leave now.”

Eddie’s face softens into something fond, “Yes, Buck, that’d be preferable.”

“Alright…” Buck takes a step forward before glancing down at himself, and only just realising that he’s wearing nothing but black pyjama pants. “Errm…can I get more clothes?”

Eddie’s eyes flick downwards, and Buck’s slowly wakening brain whispers to him that that’s why Eddie was looking with such determination at Buck’s face. He was trying to be appropriate and not pay too much attention to Buck’s naked torso. As far as Buck’s concerned, Eddie can get as much of an eyeful as he wants. Look, Buck likes him, ok? And after how lovely and warm Buck had felt during their movie night last week, Buck’s only falling harder. Eddie’s gorgeous - the most gorgeous man Buck has ever seen let alone met - and he’s kind, and he’s a wonderful dad, and Christopher is such an amazing kid and Buck would be lying if he said he wasn’t completely and utterly smitten, and while Eddie seems to be pretty flirty with him, some people are just overly friendly and there’s been no other signs that Eddie’s not straight. Though he does seem to have a habit of checking Buck out, though Buck’s done that before too with men of impressive physiques that Buck isn’t actually attracted to so that doesn't necessarily prove or disprove anything and…

“If you’re quick,” Eddie says, bringing Buck back to earth with a bang. Oh right, yeah. Gas leak.

“Right,” Buck dashes back inside to pick up his closest option - a long-sleeve red sweater he’d abandoned on the back of a chair - and shuffle into a pair of sneakers he left by the door.

Buck makes it outside to find fire trucks, his fellow apartment block neighbours looking mostly tired and disgruntled, and Bobby Nash.

“Bobby,” Buck greets him tiredly.

“Buck,” Bobby greets, not looking remotely surprised, “I take it this is where you live, then?”

“I know,” Buck says, “Typical, right?”

Bobby smiles at him sympathetically and pats his shoulder and Buck blames his addled sleep-brain for the sudden surge of envy for Sergeant Grant and Bobby’s kids for having Bobby and Sergeant Grant as parents.

The next person Buck sees is Hen, who escorts the last few residents out of the building with Eddie at her side.

“Buck,” Hen sends him an amused grin as she passes, “Love the bed hair.”

Buck grumbles and doesn’t even want to think about all the directions his hair is probably sticking up in.

Eddie hears him grumbling and pauses beside him, “Don’t worry about it,” Eddie says, reaching up to flatten down a bit of hair that must have been sticking up, and Buck watches Eddie’s dark eyes, still not awake enough yet to try to hide how entranced he is, “I didn’t realise your hair had natural curls.” Eddie comments.

“Only when it gets a bit longer like this," Buck says, trying not to stare too obviously as Eddie lowers his hand from fixing Buck’s hair and looks at him.

“It suits you," Eddie says. 

Buck’s glad it’s night-time because it means his flush is hidden somewhat. It also helps that it's chilly. Though because of that Buck is also beginning to regret only picking up such a thin jumper to wear. He shivers involuntarily.

“Are you cold?” Eddie frowns.

“I’m fine.”

Eddie raises an eyebrow doubtfully. “Wait there.”

“Not like there’s anywhere else to go,” Buck jokes, and it feels like a lame joke but Buck blames exhaustion and such a weird wake-up call.

Eddie reappears with a 118 uniform jacket that has ‘Diaz’ emblazoned on the back. “Had a spare one in the truck,” Eddie says, handing it over.

Buck wraps it round his shoulders gratefully, and is a little disappointed when Eddie has to go back to work.

He rolls his eyes good-naturedly when Chim walks past next, raises his eyebrow and says ‘you look different tonight, Eddie’, and then again when Hen comes by not long after and refers to him as ‘Diaz’.

Eventually, Bobby announces to the residents of Buck’s apartment block that the gas leak is worse than they first believed, and that temporary accommodation is going to be organised for them for the night.

“Buck?” Eddie asks, appearing beside him again, “How you doing?”

“I’m not going to complain about being tired while you guys are on nightshift,” Buck says, rubbing at one of his eyes sleepily.

“I feel there’s a but in there somewhere.”

I wish, Buck thinks childishly, and is then glad that at least his brain-to-mouth filter is alert enough by now not to have let him down.

“Do you know how long it’s going to take to sort temporary accommodation?” Buck asks, “I worked late and was only in bed an hour before you guys arrived. And I have to be at the hospital in,” he checks the time on his phone and groans, “Seven hours.”

“The hospital?” Eddie asks, looking so concerned that Buck feels both bad for being vague, and warm that Eddie cares so much (if the jacket literally keeping him warm hadn’t already been an indicator enough). “Are you ok?”

“Oh, I’m fine! It’s just a check-up of my leg, and coming off the blood thinners, and the stab wound as well, probably, and you know…” Buck waves his hand, embarrassed, “All of that.”

Eddie looks at him with fond exasperation before his expression changes into something thoughtful, and the next thing Buck knows, Eddie is pressing something into Buck’s hand. Buck looks down and sees a house key.

“Call yourself a taxi and go to mine,” Eddie suggests, “You can stay the night. The house is yours until I get back from work; Christopher is at Abuela’s. You know your way around after last week, so help yourself to anything you want. And don’t even think about sleeping on the couch; you can take my bed. Sound good?”

“That sounds…” Buck is, once again, flawed by Eddie’s generosity - how quick and ready he always is to offer help - “That would be amazing, Eddie, thank you, but only if you’re sure…”

“I’m sure,” Eddie says. He looks up and away from Buck when Bobby calls for him. “I’ve got to go, but go and get some sleep, alright? I’ll probably get back before you need to get up to head to your appointment.”

“Thanks Eddie,” Buck says again, watching in awe as Eddie nods at him and moves away to carry on with his job.

Buck calls a taxi and finds Eddie’s text containing his address from when they were organising their movie night. When he arrives at the Diaz house and lets himself in it’s all dark and quiet, but that homely, safe feeling he experienced the first time he visited is still there, somehow, it's just a little less bright without Eddie and Christopher actually being there.

Although he didn’t actually go into Eddie’s room on his first visit, he finds it easily enough. It’s military-clean and tidy, and pretty sparsely decorated in comparison to the rest of the house, but the bed looks super inviting. When Buck gets into it, he breathes in and all he can smell is Eddie, and it’s all he can think about in the short space of time it takes for him to fall asleep.

***

Eddie’s shift finishes at 6am, and he arrives home not long after that. It’s always a strange feeling coming back from a night shift and knowing that Christopher isn’t in the house because he’s staying at Abuela’s. He hopes Christopher is doing ok, and that he hasn’t suffered any nightmares during the night when Eddie can’t be there to comfort him.

Things are a little different this particular morning, though, because while he knows Christopher isn’t in the house, he knows Buck is.

Before he's aware of what he's doing his feet have already automatically carried him to Christopher’s bedroom door, even though he knows Christopher isn’t there for him to check on. From there, he can see that his own bedroom door is ajar. He can see Buck fast asleep in Eddie’s bed, face slack and soft and younger-looking in sleep, and his bed hair (the bed hair that had made Eddie feel warm affection as much as the sight of Buck’s toned and flawless torso had made him feel something wholly different) has returned with a vengeance; his natural hair, free of product, sticking up against Eddie’s pillow. Eddie forces himself to turn away as thoughts about how good Buck looks in Eddie’s bed – how he looks like he belongs there – start to creep into Eddie’s head.

Eddie grabs some spare blankets from Christopher’s room and situates himself on the couch, and tries not to think about where he’d rather sleep.

He wakes up a couple of hours later when he senses movement. Eddie’s still a light sleeper – the army, being a father; it all means he keeps half-alert even when he’s unconscious – and so his eyes snap open and focus quickly on Buck.

Buck is in his kitchen.

Buck glances over at him and sees that Eddie’s awake. He flinches a little, “Sorry Eddie,” he says, voice quiet, “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s ok,” Eddie says, “I’m a really light sleeper.” He sits up, rubbing his neck. “Did you have a good sleep?”

“I did,” Buck says, and he sounds so grateful, “I really appreciate it, Eddie. Thank you.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Eddie says.

“I was wondering if I could make you breakfast to say thanks, or buy you breakfast somewhere? You have ingredients for pancakes here, if you’re hungry and fancy those?”

“That actually sounds great,” Eddie says. He didn’t eat much during the shift last night, and didn’t eat anything when he got home either.

Buck grins one of his mega-watt smiles at being able to do something to thank Eddie, and immediately sets about making pancakes.

“I have about half an hour before I have to head out,” Buck says, “I have to swing by my apartment, if I’m allowed, and pick up some clothes.”

Eddie tries not to think about how few clothes Buck had been wearing last night when he'd opened his apartment door. He also tries not to think about how wonderfully and comfortably domestic this feels; Buck making Eddie breakfast and talking about having to head out for the morning.

“You could always borrow something of mine,” Eddie suggests, “So you can head straight to the hospital from here.”

Buck pauses in adding ingredients to a mixing bowl Eddie had forgotten he even owned – where did Buck find that?!

“You’re a good man, Eddie,” Buck says, “You know that, right?”

It takes Eddie aback. He knows he’s said something similar to Buck in the past, and Buck’s said nice things to Eddie before, but god, Eddie still isn’t over hearing anyone telling him he’s done something good, something worthwhile.

Eddie covers it with a smile, “I’ll take that as a yes, then?” he checks, “Hang on, I’ll go and get something.”

He leaves Buck making pancakes in his kitchen to go and dig through his drawers for something Buck can wear. Buck’s slightly longer in the legs and body than Eddie, but about the same width of shoulder and arm. He finds some smart black tracksuit pants that have always been a little too long for him and a white t-shirt that will look decent with the sneakers Buck put on last night.  

Buck leaves Eddie eating pancakes – which are amazing – to go and change, and Eddie tries not to stare too hard at Buck wearing his clothes so comfortably when he returns. It had been hard enough seeing Buck wearing his jacket last night with ‘Diaz’ branded on the back. Hen and Chim had given him plenty of grief about that.

“Did you know,” Buck says, as he sits down next to Eddie with a couple of pancakes of his own, “That it’s a year next week since we first met?”

“I hadn’t realised,” Eddie says.

“I’m glad I met you, Eddie,” Buck says.

“Even though it was in the middle of an earthquake?”

Buck elbows him playfully, “Well I’m glad you were there to rescue me from the earthquake. And there to rescue me the times after that, too.”

“I’m glad too,” Eddie says. He’s so glad he has Buck in his life, even if it has happened through the most bizarre of ways. 

They sit and finish off their pancakes together. It’s quiet, and it’s domestic, and Eddie feels calmer and more content than he has in ages.

And he misses it the moment Buck has to leave, but when Eddie finally goes to his room to catch up on sleep before going to see Christopher before his next shift, his bedding smells like Buck, and it helps.

***

“So,” Chim teases Eddie towards the end of their next shift, because Chim is deeply curious to find out the gossip following the latest strike of Buck's questionable luck, “How did Buck sleep? You know, in your bed?”

Eddie rolls his eyes, “He slept fine, and got to his appointment on time, which is what matters.”

Chim smirks as Hen materialises beside him and asks “So are you guys dating now, or…?”

“No,” Eddie says, “He’s my friend.”

“Sure,” Hen says, “Because friends look at each other like that.”

Chim and Hen know Eddie’s bisexual, because one night when Eddie was still fairly new to the team they had been out at the karaoke bar and Eddie had been blatantly hit on by another guy but didn’t appear to notice. When Hen had fondly called him a ‘sweet, oblivious straight boy’ Eddie had told them that he was actually bi, but that the guy wasn’t his type, and that he wasn’t looking for any kind of relationship at that time, because he was focusing on his son.

It is pretty obvious that Buck is apparently exactly Eddie’s type, just from the way Eddie looks at him and acts around him.

“Maybe they do,” Eddie says. Not very convincingly.

“Oh yeah, because I always look at Chim like he’s everything I’ve ever wanted.” Hen flashes a grin at Chim, “No offence, Chim.”

“None taken,” Chim holds up his hands, “But only because you absolutely helped prove my point. I mean, come on Eddie, Buck is clearly into you, too!”

“How do you even know that he’s not…straight…or something?” it even sounds like Eddie’s reaching.

“There’s no question that that boy isn’t one hundred percent straight,” Hen says confidently. Which, true. The way Buck looks at Eddie; there’s no way he’s not attracted to him right back.

“But you guys have only ever told me about him dating women, before,” Eddie insists.

“Just because we only ever saw him on dates with women doesn’t mean he’s exclusively into women," Hen reasons, "Maybe only Buck’s most disastrous call-9-1-1 dates just happened to be with women.”

“And actually, I have proof!” Chim remembers suddenly, “Maddie was telling me just the other week about a guy that Buck dated once.”

And it is only now that Chim suddenly realises why Maddie had so pointedly told him that anecdotal story in the first place. She had clearly hoped that he would share the story with Eddie. Maddie made sure to get Eddie’s number from Chim for Buck as soon as Buck replaced his phone after the tsunami, and has been asking Chim questions about Buck and Eddie’s previous encounters. Maddie is trying to help set up Buck and Eddie. Oooh, she’s devious. And Chim might just be in love with her.

Eddie looks surprised at the revelation, and to his credit, does a good job at hiding any other reaction “She did?”

“Yep,” Chim says, “So, Buck’s sexuality isn’t a problem, and I don’t think mutual attraction is exactly a problem either. I mean, I’ve seen the way he looks at you, and I’ve seen the way you were trying very hard not to stare at his abs last night…”

“Yeah, alright,” Eddie shuts him down, a little testy now. Eddie’s had a bit of a short fuse recently, but it’s not exactly hard to understand why, with everything he’s been through recently.

“Come on Eddie,” Hen tries, more gently than teasing this time, “With the amount of times we’ve met Buck in the last year, after how many by-chance encounters you guys have had, it’s like fate, or something!”

Chim backs her up, “Hen’s right, Eddie. The universe is practically screaming at you about this guy!”

Eddie, who – even for a man who wears a St Christopher medallion for protection – has always been vocal in his scepticism of Hen and Chim’s insistence of full moon crazy calls, jinxed ‘quiet’ days, and other such superstitions, gives a typical response:

“The universe does not scream,” Eddie fires back.

“Hi guys!” Buck calls to them, and oh, no way. Chim’s whole day, his whole week, has just been made. He can’t wait to tell Maddie, she’ll freak.

Chim turns to see Buck entering the firehouse, and then turns back to Eddie with an arched eyebrow and chews his gum extra obnoxiously in a ‘what did I tell you’ manner. Hen cackles quietly beside him.

“Hi Buck!” Chim says, and Hen greets him too as Buck approaches, “Fancy seeing you here!”

“Hey Buck,” Eddie says, shooting Chim and Hen a glare, but they aren’t going anywhere, no sir. Not when the universe brought this into being.

“Hey guys,” Buck smiles warmly at them all, “Eddie, I just wanted to return your things,” he says, and passes over what looks like neatly ironed and folded clothes.

Chim forces down his grin by chewing extra hard at his gum, and Hen’s eyebrows are pulling their most impressive moves.

“Thanks Buck,” Eddie says, and Chim is pretty sure Eddie’s not purposefully ignoring Hen and Chim now that Buck’s in his orbit; he’s truly only got eyes for Buck. “How did it go?”

“It went well, thanks! Everything seems to be healing up ok. I’ve got one more appointment in a couple of months, and hopefully that’ll be it!”

“Don’t jinx yourself,” Hen warns playfully.

“Oh god no,” Buck agrees, tapping his head, “Touch wood that’s it.”

“So you’re superstitious too, Buck!” Chim crows, “Eddie here doesn’t believe in all of that.”

Buck looks at Eddie, surprised, “You don’t believe in jinxes? In luck? Bad luck? Fate?”

Eddie shifts, clears his throat, and changes the subject. “Hey, we’re only on shift for another half an hour, and then the team are going for drinks. If you’re free, you could hang around and join us?”

Buck looks to Chim and Hen as if checking for their permission, to which, obviously, they both enthusiastically agree. Chim likes Buck, and Chim knows Hen thinks highly of him too. They hadn’t thought so at first, but Buck has both matured a lot and grown on them in the last few years. Buck’s fun to be around – like a ball of lovable sunshine – and now that Chim’s dating Maddie, he’s keen to get to know her brother better too. And, of course, there’s talk of Buck hopefully becoming a firefighter. And, you know, potentially becoming Eddie’s boyfriend, if they both would just get their acts together already.

“Ok, well, thanks,” Buck beams, “That’d…that’d be great!”

***

Buck is thrilled to be joining the 118 for drinks at their favourite, regular bar. Hen, Chim, Lena and Bobby are there, and Eddie, of course, and Sergeant – ‘I think we’re well past the ‘call me Athena’ stage now, Buck’ – Grant joins them a little later. It’s nice, to feel a part of the group, a part of the family, or the team, almost. Athena and Bobby even suggest that Maddie and Buck should come to their next barbeque, and Chim and Buck enthusiastically agree. Buck sits beside Eddie the whole time, and although they are all talking as a group, Eddie’s a constant presence at Buck’s side, their shoulders pressed together, and it feels so normal, to be here with the 118 like this. He hopes he can have this, one day. That these people can really become his team - his family - as well as his friends.

While Buck’s at the bar getting another drink, he recognises one of the staff.

“Gina! Hey!” Buck smiles at her. He always liked Gina when they had worked together in a bar across town. They had always had a laugh on their shifts, and had always managed to gather tons of tips between the two of them.

“Oh, hey Buck!” Gina smiles back, “Long time no see! How you been?”

“Pretty good,” Buck says, because hell, he’s not going to go into the leg crushing, earthquake, stabbing and tsunami that have occurred since he last worked in a bar with her. “How are you?”

“Same,” she says, “I’m the manager here, actually!”

“Hey, congrats!”

“Where are you now?”

“I’ve been working at a bowling alley for a bit,” Buck says, “But I’m keeping an eye out for other things.” Which is true. As much as Buck has enjoyed working in the bowling alley, he’s ready to move on. And things have been a bit different since he went in Garrett’s place to the pier on the day of the tsunami. He knows Garrett feels guilty, no matter what Buck says otherwise; that he volunteered to go. “Well,” Buck adds, “Until I can sign up for training; I’ve got firefighter aspirations.”

“Ah, makes sense why you’re in here with the 118, then,” Gina says, “This place is quite popular with first responders.” She grins at him, “You know I’ve been looking for an extra person for bar work here, and I already know you’re one of the best. What do you say, Buck? Fancy joining my team until you can join theirs?”

***

The next time the 118 go to the karaoke bar, they don’t have Buck with them. They find he’s already here, working behind the bar. Hen and Athena head to the bar to get the first round of drinks in.

“Boy, I swear you’ve had more jobs than I’ve made arrests,” Athena says by way of greeting.

Buck shakes his head, “No way, Athena! You’ve arrested so many people!” He takes in Athena’s raised eyebrow. “Not that they all didn’t deserve it, of course!" he backtracks, "You’re amazing!”

Athena smirks, at both sending Buck scrabbling and for the compliment - Hen knows her friend too well – “So what brings you to working at our favourite bar?”

Buck shrugs, “Needed a change. And I know Gina, the manager; I’ve worked with her before. She offered me a job. And I figured maybe, knowing my luck, a place of work that's frequented by so many firefighters, police and paramedics could only be a good idea.” Which, Hen thinks, it probably is, knowing Buck. Buck smiles at them both, “What drinks can I get you?”

Hen has to say she’s impressed with Buck's bartending. She orders a cocktail – "whatever you recommend" – just to see what Buck thinks she’ll like, and just to see him get fancy with the mixing. It makes his muscles flex as he shakes the shakers and she can’t help but feel evilly gleeful that that’s around the time Eddie decides to drift towards the bar.

“Hey Eddie,” Buck beams at him, “I’ll be with you in a second.”

Athena carries the first lot of drinks back to the table, while Hen and Eddie wait at the bar.

“Here you go, Hen,” Buck passes her the cocktail and Hen takes a sip. She’s not normally a cocktail person but damn this is good, and damn, Buck’s got her tastes figured out. She tells him so and he grins, pleased with himself. “How are you, Eddie?” Buck asks Eddie as he gets Eddie’s drinks for him.

“I’m ok,” Eddie says. It’s almost too nonchalant though. Hen has noticed Eddie’s been a bit out of sorts, lately; a lot of bravado. She’s keeping an eye on it. When Eddie puts his arms on the bar, the bruise on his elbow is obvious.

“Whew, dude, are you ok?” Buck asks, “That’s a monster!”

Eddie shrugs and gives the same answer he gave Hen, Chim and Bobby when they asked about it. “Just roughhousing with my kid.”

Buck looks at him in disbelief and jokes “Were you playing with hammers?” which, fair. Hen kind of wishes she'd thought of that to voice her incredulity at that response of Eddie's earlier. 

Eddie looks like he’s about to protest, and Hen is about to not give up so easily on his excuse this time, when Buck leans forward and brushes his fingertips lightly over the bruise, and both Eddie and Hen get lost for words.

“It looks painful,” Buck says.

“I’m ok,” Eddie insists.

“I hope so,” Buck returns.

It’s getting too soft, and they are looking too deep into each other’s eyes and Hen and her cocktail make a hasty retreat back to the table. She doubts they’ve even noticed she’s gone.

“What took you so long?” Athena asks.

“Just watching the soap opera unfold,” Hen grins, nodding in Eddie and Buck’s direction. They are still leaning over the bar towards each other, heads bent close together. She’s pretty sure Buck’s still got his fingers against Eddie’s bruised elbow.

Athena sighs, “I mean honestly,” she says, “More chemistry than…well…” she looks at Hen’s cocktail, “A cocktail.”

“And this is a really good mix,” Hen agrees, taking another sip before offering it to Athena to try. 

Later, when Buck’s working alone at the bar, Hen goes back.

“Hey Hen,” he greets her, “Want another cocktail?”

“The last one was great, really, but no thanks, I’m heading home. I just thought I should let you know that Eddie’s one hundred percent not straight either.” And then she leaves him gawping there.

Well, she thinks, it’s only fair, since Chim told Eddie about Buck. Now both he and Eddie are on a level playing field, and know there’s literally nothing holding them back.

***

Buck’s worried about Eddie. The next time Eddie comes to the bar, he’s got fresh bruises and a fresh excuse for them. Buck’s thought about bringing it up with Bobby…but he doesn’t. Instead, he asks Lena, because when Buck asked Eddie about his latest bruise when he and Lena came over for the next round of drinks, Lena got this look on her face. Buck doesn’t know exactly what it meant, but he knows that Lena knows something.

“Lena,” he manages to catch her alone as she’s on her way back from the bathroom to the 118’s table, “What’s going on with Eddie? Why is he always bruised lately?”

Lena’s expression tightens, but Buck can tell she’s not angry with him for asking; she’s clearly frustrated by whatever is going on with Eddie.

“I think he’s cage fighting,” she says, blunt and to the point as always. 

And honestly, it’s something Buck has considered, so he’s not entirely surprised.

“I took him to a fight club weeks ago,” Lena admits, “I thought it might help him work out some of his issues. But I think he’s getting more involved in something else. Something way more intense than a fight club. Something that pays; there’s been a flashy new car along with the bruises. Impulse buys. It’s not like him.”

“Have you talked to him about it?”

“I've tried. He won’t admit it,” Lena says, “And I promised him I’d keep his secrets, just like he keeps mine. We’re field partners. I can’t betray his trust. I need to find out for sure before I say or do anything.”

“I’ll keep it to myself,” Buck vows, “And I’ll keep an eye on him too.”

Lena nods at him, “Thanks, Buckley.”

***

A week later, Buck parks up outside the bar for his shift and sees Eddie leaving it, alone, through the carpark, and just from Eddie’s posture, how tense he is, Buck just knows where Eddie’s going.

Buck jumps out of his jeep, “Hey! Eddie!”

Eddie glances at him, but Buck doesn’t get the warm welcome he usually receives, “Hi Buck.”

“Where you going?” Buck asks.

“Home.”

“Uh-huh,” Buck steps neatly in front of him, and Eddie stops and stares at him, bewildered.

“What are you doing?”

“If you’re going to a…cage fight, or whatever it is you’re getting those bruises from…”

Eddie glares at him, “How do you know?”

“The bruises, Eddie, among other things! And I’m worried about you! You could get hurt!”

“It’s not about hurting myself!” Eddie says, appalled.

“That’s not what I’m saying and you know it! I’m worried about you, Eddie!” Eddie tries to step around him, and Buck steps into his way. “Eddie…”

“Move. Buck,” Eddie says, and his teeth are gritted, and his fists are clenched, and he’s as angry as Buck’s ever seen him. And he’s angry with Buck.

“No, Eddie,” Buck refuses, “Please. Don’t go. It’s clear you’ve had a bad day and this isn’t the solution to…”

“How do you know?!” Eddie snaps, “How do you know what my day’s been like?!”

“I’d know if you talked to me about it!” Buck shoots back.

But Eddie doesn’t want to talk, does he? That’s what the fighting is about. Eddie’s got pent up anger he wants to take out on something – someone – and Buck can’t stop him when Eddie manages to get past him and stride away into the night.

“It’s because I care about you!” Buck shouts after him, “I care about you and I’m worried about you!”

When Buck enters the bar, most of the 118 are still there. They look more morose than usual, but also none the wiser to why Eddie’s left; he’ll have probably made an excuse about needing to pick up Christopher or something. Buck manages to catch Lena’s eye and jerks his head. She meets him at the bar.

“I think Eddie’s just gone to a fight,” he tells her.

“We had a bad call today,” Lena says, “We couldn’t save everyone. I knew Eddie took it harder than he let on.” Her eyes harden in determination, “I think I know which venue he’s going to. I’m going to go save him from himself. Thanks Buckley, I owe you one.”

Buck nods, and watches her go, hoping she is able to give Eddie help, even if Eddie isn’t willing to take it.

When Buck leaves his shift later that night, he is genuinely shocked to find Eddie, looking worse than Buck’s ever seen him, leaning against Buck’s jeep in the carpark.

“Eddie?” Buck asks, horrified at the state of him.

“Buck,” Eddie says, and he sounds shattered, “I nearly killed someone. At the fight. I didn’t mean to. I didn’t mean to! I broke his nose and a piece of it got knocked back into his cranial cavity and went down his throat and blocked his airway. I had to save his life, call 9-1-1…the first responders showed up…Lena…”

“Where is Lena?”

“She said she’d give me a head start,” Eddie says, “Fuck, I’m never going to be able to repay her for this.”

“Hey, hey,” Buck says, “It’s ok. It’s ok, Eddie. I know she’ll forgive you. Because she cares about you.”

Eddie’s eyes are suddenly shining, and Buck wonders if he’s remembering Buck’s words from earlier; Buck telling him that he cares. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for earlier.”

“It’s ok, Eddie,” Buck tells him again, and he pulls Eddie into a hug.

Eddie clutches onto him like he’s a lifeline, buries his head in his shoulder. Buck can’t see if Eddie’s crying, but his breath is hitching like he might be.

“Come on,” Buck eventually encourages him, “Let’s get you home.”

Eddie’s silent on the drive home, and hands over his keys so Buck can let them in. Christopher is clearly at Eddie’s Abuela’s for the night.

“Can I see?” Buck asks once they are inside and he’s encouraged Eddie to sit down. He gestures awkwardly at Eddie’s torso.

Eddie doesn’t even argue, just pulls off his shirt, wincing as he does so. Buck tries to hold in his gasp at the sight of the mottled bruising, but he’s pretty sure he fails at hiding his shock and his sadness.

“Jesus, Eddie,” he murmurs. “Do you have any ice packs?”

Eddie instructs him to where they are, and Buck retrieves them, kneeling before Eddie and pressing one to Eddie’s side, as Eddie takes another and presses it to his face.

“Talk to me,” Buck says, “Talk to me.”

And like the incident at the cage fight has shaken Eddie loose, everything comes spilling out as he breaks down right before Buck’s eyes. He tells Buck everything; his anger and confliction over Shannon, Christopher’s nightmares and struggles post-tsunami, the struggle Eddie's had trying to manage childcare because Laura has quit; too guilty over having left Christopher on the pier.

“I’m trying to find some permanent help,” Eddie says, breath hitching, “It’s just too many forms to fill out. It’s worse than the V.A. and I…”

“Hey,” Buck soothes him, “Hey, it’s ok. You’re ok.” He presses the ice pack to Eddie’s side like he’s trying to hold him together. “You’re so busy taking care of everything on your own, of taking care of everyone else. You just need to let others take care of you for once.”

“Like you?” Eddie asks, and his eyes are so soft and vulnerable in that moment that Buck can barely stand to look at them. But he does.

“Yeah, like me,” Buck says firmly, “Because I care about you, Eddie. And everyone else does too; you just have to let them.”

***

Eddie feels rotten the next day when he eventually arrives at work. Buck only stayed at Eddie’s long enough to patch Eddie up and put him to bed, and Eddie feels embarrassed. And he feels awful about what happened to his opponent at the cage fight, and he feels bad that Lena’s had to cover for him again. She's given him a heads up that there was only so much she could do; the Captain of the first responders that attended to Eddie’s opponent at the underground venue last night spotted and recognised Eddie, and Lena found out he was getting in touch with Bobby to let him know about a potential problem in his house. Lena's also told Eddie she's going to make sure Bobby has the full picture so that he isn't too hard on Eddie, but to be honest, Eddie deserves nothing less.

Just as Lena warned he might, Bobby’s waiting for him when he arrives.

“Take a seat,” Bobby says. He’s looking at Eddie with such concern, Eddie doesn’t know where to start. He’s already broken down in front of Buck. He feels emotionally wrung out.

“I just needed a place to let off some steam,” he says eventually, “Things got a little out of…”

“Control?” Bobby guesses, “That’s what this is about, right? You’re the guy who always keeps it together, no matter what life throws at you. You shake it off, keep moving forward.”

Bobby knows him too well. “Lots of people have it worse,” Eddie says, because that was one of his main reasonings to keep his problems to himself - he didn’t think he needed to burden anyone else with issues he thought he could suck up and work through himself; just like his Dad always told him. 

“Eddie,” Bobby says, “I just want to make sure you don’t think you have to lose everything before you can allow yourself to feel anything.”

“No, Christopher needs me to be in control,” Eddie insists. He just needs Bobby to understand why, why he’s done what he’s done, “I’m the only parent he’s got left and I can’t let him down again.”

Bobby frowns, “When did you let him down before?”

Eddie laughs, and it’s a bitter, twisted, guilty thing, “God, when did I not let him down? I wasn’t there when he was a baby. Stayed away too long, and it broke his mother. Shannon ran away, I…and I couldn’t stop her. I couldn’t bring her back home. So, I brought him here. And let her back into his life.”

“That’s what Christopher wanted,” Bobby reasons.

There’s that laugh again; it doesn't even sound like him. Eddie hates it. “Yeah, but…but I knew better. She already left once, broke his heart. You know, I was so afraid she was going to do it again.” He smiles bitterly and he hates that too, “She did.”

“She died, Eddie," Bobby says softly. 

“Yeah, after she told me she wanted a divorce,” Eddie finally admits, tears filling his eyes, “And I’m…I’m still mad. How stupid is that?” His laugh is less bitter this time. It’s devastated. “I’m angry at a dead person. And at myself because I forgave her for everything and…and it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t enough.”

“But you and Shannon, you guys weren’t sure you had made the right decision, getting back together?”

“No, but I thought she’d still give it more of a chance than she did. I was so prepared to try…even when…even when…”

“Even when you’d already gotten over her, too?” Bobby guesses. And guesses correctly.

“It didn’t feel the same,” Eddie admits, “But I was still willing to try to make it work. For...for Christopher's sake if nothing else.”

“But then you might have missed the chance to have something else,” Bobby says, “Something real.”

“What are you saying?” Eddie knows what Bobby's saying.

“I’m saying that sometimes you’ve got to move on. You have to allow yourself to move on.”

“Is this about Buck? I like him, Bobby, I really do, but I…it’s hard. And I really thought you of all people would understand.”

“That’s why I’m saying it to you,” Bobby says, “Because I know what it’s like to be stuck inside the worst moment of your life. To be afraid to hope. To try again.”

“I’m still not over it,” Eddie confesses. And he's not. He's not over Shannon coming back into their lives and then being forced to leave it again, so suddenly, so finally. He loved her so much, once, and now she's dead, and Eddie's grieving. He's grieving for Shannon, for Christopher, for himself, for what they once had, and what they could have had the first time around if Eddie hadn't stayed away and then Shannon hadn't left.

“And you never will be,” Bobby says softly, because he does know. He does understand. Better than anyone. “You will always miss her. And that part of you she took with her, you never get it back. But every day you heal a little bit more, and one morning you wake up, and losing her isn’t the first thing you think about.”

“But you’re happy now?” Eddie asks, “I mean, with Athena and the kids?”

“I love the family I have now. But that doesn’t mean I ever stop missing the one I lost. Athena…allowing myself to love her, I will always be thankful to myself for taking that step, and to her for helping me take it. She’s the best person I could have met, to love again. And I think you might have found your chance to love again too, Eddie. To love a good person. You just have to let yourself give it a try.”

“I’m worried about trying in case it…in case it doesn’t work out, or…or if I lose him too.”

“Don’t worry so much about losing him, Eddie,” Bobby says, “Worry about not even giving it a chance in the first place. Buck’s a good kid, and he clearly cares a lot about you and Christopher.”

“He does,” Eddie says, “And I care about him too.”

“I know you do, son,” Bobby says, “And that’s why I think you’re ready to move on.”

“Thanks Cap,” Eddie says, blinking back the tears that have blurred his vision throughout the conversation.

“And no more fights?” Bobby says, “There’s the punching bags at the gym here. And I can put you in touch with a therapist. Separate the two.”

“No punching the therapist,” Eddie tries weakly for a joke, “Got it.”

Bobby rolls his eyes, fond, but still heavy with concern. They have bared their souls to each other just now, and Eddie thinks back to when Shannon died, and how he had gone straight to Bobby for a hug and comfort. He knows he can rely on Bobby; he just needs to work on opening up and talking to him more. 

“Thanks Bobby,” Eddie says again, and he means it. Eddie didn’t just bring up painful memories, Bobby did too, to help Eddie.

Bobby smiles and squeezes his shoulder. “Anytime Eddie, and I mean it. Anytime.”

“I know, Cap,” Eddie says, and he means it, too. “You too.”

***

The next time Buck sees Eddie is when Buck invites him to his apartment.

Eddie is apologetic and subdued when he arrives, no doubt feeling guilty or embarrassed about what happened the night of the last cage fight, but Buck doesn’t care, so long as Eddie is getting help.

“I asked you here,” Buck tells him when Eddie asks, “Cause there’s someone I want you to meet.” At Eddie’s surprised and sceptical expression, Buck is quick to add, “Just…just trust me. This woman is exactly what you need.” He springs to the door when he hears the knock; prompt as always, is Carla. “She’s here!”

When he opens the door to Carla’s wonderful, beautiful, smiling face, it hits him just how much he’s missed her.

“Buckaroo!” Carla laughs in delight.

“Carla!” He exclaims, moving in immediately for a hug. Carla gives the best hugs.

“Baby…” Carla hugs him back, “Ah goodness I missed that handsome face!” she puts a hand to his cheek to inspect him.

Buck laughs, “Oh I missed you too.” And he has. He has. His relationship with Abby may have ended with a whimper, fading into non-existence with no communication from her whatsoever; literally ghosted away while Buck existed in her home, surrounded by her things. But Abby did give Buck a lot too; she helped him mature. She helped him realise that he wanted commitment, a real relationship. And most importantly, she brought Carla into his life. “Come on in,” Buck urges Carla inside, before turning to Eddie, “Eddie, this…” he holds out his hands to present Carla like the star she is. “This is my friend Carla.”

“Nice to meet you, Eddie,” Carla says, warm as always.

“Likewise,” Eddie smiles back, shaking her hand.

“Carla is L.A.’s finest home health care aid,” Buck explains to Eddie, and sees the realisation dawning on his face, “She has years of experience navigating giant bureaucracies, and I thought she could help you figure out how to get Christopher what he needs.”

The look Eddie sends him in that moment is everything Buck needs to know that he’s absolutely done the right thing. When Eddie first mentioned his childcare difficulties the last time Buck saw him, broken down and bruised, Buck’s first thought was ‘Carla could fix this’.

Eddie’s looking at Buck with such unbridled fondness and gratitude that Buck almost blushes under it.

“I’m red tape’s worst nightmare,” Carla winks at Eddie, “I’ll get you through this in no time. Now, let’s go sit down and see what you’re working with.” She walks past them both towards the table, “Besides that perfect bone structure,” she adds.

“Carla always speaks the truth,” Buck whispers to Eddie, eyes catching on said perfect bone structure.

Eddie’s returning smile is almost a smirk, “Well, she was right about that handsome face of yours.”

He reaches out to squeeze Buck’s hand and then leaves him to go and join Carla. Buck’s left in a daze for a moment, wondering what’s shifted. He and Eddie have been flirting for weeks, but not so directly. Not that Buck’s complaining. Not in the slightest. He follows Eddie to join Carla at the table, and plans to figure out what’s going on with him and Eddie later.

***

By the time Carla leaves, Eddie is feeling the most positive he has since the tsunami – since Shannon – and it’s all because of Buck. It’s Buck, who listened to Eddie’s broken-hearted confessions and thought of a way to help him. It’s Buck who has organised this, has introduced Eddie to Carla, who is so lovely, and so keen to meet Christopher, and so happy to help him. Eddie’s overwhelmed with gratitude to both of them.

With Buck and Carla helping him with childcare, and Lena watching out for him, and Bobby talking him through things, putting him in touch with the therapist – even if this particular therapist isn’t the right fit for Eddie, he’s going to keep trying for his own sake – Eddie finally feels like he’s getting his control back. And he isn't doing it alone. He's doing it by allowing other people to help him.

Eddie asks Buck how he met Carla, and Buck tells Eddie about the ex that broke his heart, leaving him in limbo for months living in her home, not realising that she’d left for good. Buck didn’t deserve that. Buck deserves so much better.

His ex is not the only thing Buck tells him about, as they share a beer in Buck’s kitchen. Buck confides in him about Maddie trying to help a woman who had called 9-1-1 several times, that Maddie had correctly predicted was in an abusive relationship like the one Maddie had been trapped in with Doug. In the end, the woman had ended up taking the man back, and Maddie had ended up being suspended from work.

“How’s Maddie taking it?” Eddie asks, as Buck gets two more beers out the fridge.

“It’s kind of rough on her,” Buck says, opening one and passing it to Eddie, who takes it and leans back against the counter top, before Buck opens one of his own, “I think she thought she could save Tara from Vincent, but she’s realising that you can’t save someone from themselves.” He’s watching Eddie now and his words are being picked intentionally, “Not if they don’t want it.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” Eddie says, silently reprimanding himself, taking a swig of beer.

“Especially if you don’t see that they need saving,” Buck says, and then “I’m sorry it took me so long to see it, Eddie.”

Eddie doesn’t want Buck blaming himself. How was Buck meant to know when even people Eddie saw every day didn’t know. Eddie hid it well enough, especially at first, before things escalated.

“We’re past that Buck,” he tries to wave Buck’s guilt aside.

“I’m not,” Buck insists, and it’s so sincere, and Eddie remembers how Buck had shouted after him in the carpark that night - that he was trying to stop Eddie going to the fight because Buck was worried about him, that he cared about him - “I should have seen it earlier,” Buck says, and then, like he’s realised he’s made the conversation get heavy, lightens his tone when he adds, “Maybe I could have talked some sense into you sooner.”

Eddie huffs a laugh, also keen to get back to a lighter atmosphere, and teases, “You talk sense into me?”

“Well, I would have told you not to buy that truck,” Buck grins.

“Yeah,” Eddie says, “You probably would have talked me into buying something more expensive.”

“Yeah,” Buck concedes, “Fair point.”

“Look,” Eddie says, wanting to clear the air, and not wanting Buck to feel bad about anything when none of it was on him, “Things got a little out of hand for me. But that’s on me. Don’t you go beating yourself up about it.”

Buck nods, takes a drink. “How’s therapy going?” he asks.

“Eh,” Eddie shrugs, “I don’t think I’ve found the right one. We’re not clicking.”

“And it’s got nothing to do with you preferring to work it out in the ring?” Buck says ‘work it out in the ring’ in some kind of imitation of a tough man macho voice, complete with arm actions, followed by an endearing little head tilt and a knowing smirk that has Eddie feeling things.

“There was no ring, Buck,” Eddie deadpans, “Though there was a fence.”

“Yeah, and nearly a carpark,” Buck says.

Eddie blinks, “Excuse me?”

“That night in the carpark,” Buck teases, “You were pretty pissed. I thought for sure you were going to take a swing at me.”

“I wouldn’t do that,” Eddie says seriously, wanting Buck to know that he means it, before returning to the teasing flirting, because he really likes it when Buck flirts with him, “Your leg is still recovering.”

“Oh,” Buck says, and there’s suddenly something low in his voice, something challenging, flirtatious, and Eddie wants. “I could still take you.”

“Do you think so?” Eddie encourages, smirking, taking another drink.

“I know,” Buck corrects him. He pushes away from the worktop he's leaning against and walks slowly towards Eddie, and Eddie is suddenly full of anticipation. Buck’s holding his belt, faux-posturing and it’s really fucking hot. “You wanna go for the title?” he challenges.

Eddie laughs. He cocks his head thoughtfully. He takes a sip of beer and then puts the bottle down.

“There’s something else I’d rather go for,” Eddie says.

“Oh?” Buck asks, and his voice is the most seductive thing Eddie has ever heard.

They both seem to have realised tonight that there’s no line they are toeing anymore. Eddie’s not scared to try anymore, he’s not scared to allow himself to move on. And Buck seems to have realised there is no reason to hold back and that Eddie is very, very much interested in him.

Eddie reaches out and takes a hold of a handful of the front of Buck’s shirt. He pulls him in, and Buck comes easily, the faux-cockiness and curiosity in what Eddie will do fades a little from his handsome face and gives way to something hopeful, his blue eyes searching Eddie’s, until he’s pressed right up against him.

And then Eddie reels him in and finally, finally, kisses him.

Chapter Text

Buck moans softly against Eddie’s lips. It’s a needy, pleased sound, like he’s been longing for it; longing for Eddie, and the way Buck is eagerly pressed up against Eddie – his body a solid line against his, the edge of the kitchen counter digging into Eddie’s back – it feels so goddamn good. Eddie’s imagined kissing Buck before, of course he has, and he’s wondered what it would feel like, kissing someone taller than him, a similar build to him, a man, for the first time. It comes more naturally than Eddie imagined. Eddie likes the fact he has to tilt his head up a little, that Buck is resting a large hand against the back of Eddie’s neck to tilt him that way. Buck’s solid build means Eddie isn’t afraid of pulling Buck in hard against him or digging his fingers into Buck’s narrow waist. Eddie’s confidence builds into him pulling back just for a moment, meeting Buck’s beautiful blue eyes steadily, and then initiating a second kiss, taking more of a lead this time. Buck groans again, and the way it kind of sounds like Eddie’s name gets Eddie even more keyed up.

Buck breaks the kiss to move soft lips from Eddie’s mouth to his jaw, and Eddie tilts his head to the side, getting lost in the feeling. But he quickly retrieves his mind again when Buck’s hands drift to the buttons of Eddie’s shirt.

“Buck,” Eddie murmurs, reaching up to catch Buck’s hands.

Buck moves back sheepishly, “Sorry,” Buck says. He bites his lip, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to get carried away.”

“Hey, no, don’t apologise,” Eddie says, “It’s ok, I just…” he sighs, frustrated at himself, “I just…” he trails off again.

Buck shakes his head. “It’s a good job you put a pause on it,” he says genuinely, rescuing Eddie from his poor attempt at giving an explanation, “I’d like to take you on a few dates before…” and then Buck trails off with a self-conscious laugh and ducks his head, smiling shyly. He rubs at the back of his neck. “I uh – I plan to wine and dine you, Diaz.”

Eddie hides how endeared he is by that behind a smirk and a quirk of an eyebrow, “I didn’t know you were the wine and dine type.”

Buck shrugs, and answers earnestly; “I wasn’t, not until recently. My ex-ex-girlfriend, she changed things for me. Made me realise I didn’t want just hook ups and flings anymore. I wanted something real, which meant I needed to build foundations outside of the bedroom. Or…you know…” he waved his hand around awkwardly, “the kitchen?” He smiles when Eddie snorts. “I just know now that I want to do things properly. Have a mature relationship, you know? Put effort in outside of just sex.”

Eddie sobers quick, “About that,” he says, knowing he’s going to have to mention it at some point, “What I was trying to say before. I…I know you’re…and I…” he huffs, before just thinking to hell with it and biting the damn bullet, because he knows Buck, and he trusts him not to judge; “I only ever had sex with Shannon,” he finally manages to say. He lets that and all its implications set in; he’s only ever had sex with one person, and never a man. Compared to Buck’s experience…

But Buck doesn’t look fazed, or even surprised. He smiles at Eddie with that boyish, sweet smile of his. “Well, it’s been a while for me,” Buck offers. Eddie finds that hard to believe, and Buck must read it in his face because he says, “I’m not just saying that to make you feel better. I…I haven’t had sex with a woman since the night before the pile up and my leg, which was…what? Two years ago, now? And with a man…well, not since before I dated Abby, and I waited a long time for her to come back so,” he let out a long whistle as he actually had to think about it, “Nearly four years ago.” He shrugs coyly, “So maybe we can take it slow? Figure it out together?”

Eddie can’t express how grateful he is, that Buck just takes everything in his stride, that he makes Eddie feel comfortable and confident. Eddie’s so busy watching Buck in stunned wonderment that he doesn’t realise Buck is shifting nervously until he’s rubbing at the back of his neck again and saying, “Unless of course…you uhh…you don’t want to be wined and dined, which is totally fine! I just thought we could…”

“Buck,” Eddie interrupts gently, one hand on Buck’s shoulder and the other guiding Buck’s hand away from its nervous gesture. He ducks his head to meet Buck’s eyes, “I’d like that.” 

“Yeah?”

Eddie nods, smiling as he uses his hold on Buck to draw him into another kiss. It starts chaste, but Buck feels good under Eddie’s hands, and his body fits so right against Eddie’s own, and dios, he even tastes good, how…

“I think,” Buck mumbles against Eddie’s lips, moving back reluctantly, “We had better call it a night before wine and dine goes out the window...” he cocks his head thoughtfully, “Or wine-dow, even. Or win-dinow…wine-dinow?”

Eddie groans and laments in muttered Spanish over why and how the lame jokes somehow only seem to make Buck hotter, as drops his head against Buck’s collarbone with a dull thud. Because really? “Really?” he asks in English.

When he pulls back to eye Buck incredulously, he’s met with a cheeky grin, “Afraid so. Regretting this already?”

“Absolutely,” Eddie teases drily, before he spots and seizes an opportunity to tease in a different way, “Regretting agreeing to go slow.”

Buck’s cheeky grin drops, and his eyes darken, “Well too bad,” Buck says, but his voice breaks a little like it’s tough for him to say, which strokes Eddie’s ego something fierce, “You’ve already agreed to go on a date with me and my bad puns.”

Eddie knows Buck’s saving Eddie from moving at a pace Eddie’s already said he’s not comfortable with, and Eddie knows Buck wants to take it slow too, so Eddie has to shove down the urge to take it all back and just drag Buck over to the couch, or up the steps to Buck’s bedroom.

“Maybe leave the bad puns at home,” Eddie says.

“The bad puns are a part of me,” Buck shrugs as he lifts his beer bottle to his lips, “Take it or leave it.”

“Oh, I think I could take you,” Eddie smirks, harking back to what Buck had said before the kiss, when they had been faux-posturing; but this time Eddie exaggerates the innuendo.

Buck rolls his eyes, but Eddie hears the groan of ‘fuck’ that Buck tries to hide against the bottle as he takes a drink. Eddie grins as he drinks from his own and Buck catches his eye and shakes his head at him in a ‘why are you doing this to me’ way. They drink in companionable quiet for a few minutes, until Eddie finishes his drink, checks the time and sighs.

“I really should get going,” he says reluctantly – he wants to stay; stay in Buck’s presence, in his orbit, for as long as he can – “I have to pick up Christopher from Abuela’s in the morning and take him to school before my shift tomorrow.”

“Oh sure,” Buck smiles, understanding, “Got to get in a good seven to nine hours of sleep; it’s what the National Sleep Foundation guidelines recommend.”

Eddie grins and says “I’ll take your word for it," before his smile softens. “Thank you, Buck.” He knows by the little crinkle of Buck’s forehead that Buck's about to ask what for, so Eddie beats him to it. “Thanks for everything; for introducing me to Carla. She’s going to be a godsend to me and Chris, I already know it. And thanks for agreeing to be patient with me.”

Buck shrugs, “It’s not like it’s a hardship, Eddie. If you couldn’t already tell, I like spending time with you.”

“Good,” Eddie says, tugging Buck gently down by the collar so he can press a kiss to Buck’s cheek, “Because it just so happens I like spending time with you too.”

“So, I’ll text you to organise spending some more time together, then, yeah?” Buck asks when Eddie releases him.

“It’s a date,” Eddie agrees, just to see Buck smile at him one more time before he leaves.

***

“The bone has fused nicely where the screws were and there’s minimal scar tissue,” Dr Franklin says.

It’s everything Buck has been hoping to hear. “I feel good, Doc!” he encourages, “I mean, I had to climb out of a window and onto a roof the other day…not even a twinge!”

“Why,” Dr Franklin asks, unimpressed, “did you have to climb out of a window and onto a roof?”

“It’s kind of a long story…see, in the bar I work at, I was on my own just sorting out a few things for my manager before opening, but I accidentally got locked in the storeroom upstairs. And I was my own, because the bar wasn’t open yet and the others hadn’t arrived for the first shift. The entrance was locked, but the backdoor wasn’t and I didn’t want to leave the bar unattended, right? That would have been bad. So, I climbed out the window and onto the roof so I could take the fire escape steps down into the back alley to get back in via the back door. It wasn’t even that much of a climb from the window to the roof! It was pretty easy, even when I…”

Dr Franklin holds up his hand, “I’m going to stop you there and pretend I did not hear any of that. Especially with your run of luck. I’m not interested in operating on your other leg.”

Buck laughs sheepishly, “Yeah, ok. That’s fair, I guess. So, what about…what about the, uhh, clots?”

Dr Franklin nods, “Well, the scans are clear. There’s been no sign of clots since we took you off the blood thinners. You know, I think those screws were the source of your problem.”

“Uh, so,” Buck starts, not wanting to push his rare good luck but daring to hope, “So, that’s it? They’re gone and I…I don’t need to see you anymore?”

“As long as you don’t get crushed in any car accidents again,” Dr Franklin says. His eyebrow lifts. “Or stabbed again.”

“Whoa,” Buck holds a faux-offended hand to his chest, “Come on! Too soon, Doc!”

Dr Franklin laughs, “Sorry.”

Buck laughs too, because somehow his bad luck has become a running comedy-of-accidents for the hospital staff, and if he wasn’t laughing, he’d probably be crying with embarrassment.

“Mr Buckley,” Dr Franklin says, and he sounds fond of Buck, at least, even though Buck’s been a persistent bloodied thorn in his side for two years, “It is my pleasure to give you a clean bill of health. So,” he waves Buck off like a naughty schoolboy who has scraped his knee one too many times, “Go get dressed and get out of here.”

Buck laughs again, “Um, well thank you,” he hops off the side of the bed, “for everything. And um, no offense, but I hope I never see you again.” He grins playfully.

“Hey, knowing your luck, you never know,” Dr Franklin says in that deadpan way he jokes. His unexpectedly dark humour surprises and amuses Buck as it always does.

“Really?” Buck exclaims.

Dr Franklin laughs and Buck just shakes his head at the sheer cheek of it.

Once Buck is back in his clothes, the first people he tells are Maddie and Eddie. Since he knows they are both at work he doesn’t try to call them, and just sends them both an overly excited text.

Eddie: Let me know how it goes [10:00]

>EDDIEEEEEEE! Guess who has the most perfect legs in all of LA?!!!!! [11:30]

The 118 mustn’t be out on a call, because Eddie’s reply is surprisingly quick.

Eddie: I mean, Jennifer Aniston lives in LA…

>Fair. That’s fair. I set the bar too high. Ok…guess who just got a clean bill of health??!!!

Eddie: I’m hoping it’s you.

Eddie: Because Bobby and Athena have this whole BBQ planned at the weekend to celebrate.

>Wait, what? Really?

Eddie: Really.

Buck’s eyes are suddenly very weirdly glassy. It must be how bright the sunlight is, alright? He puts on his shades as he steps out of the hospital, and blinks the sunshine out of his eyes as Eddie’s next text comes through.

Eddie: They are thinking maybe Saturday for the BBQ. Are you free?

>I’m down for a bar shift, but I think there was someone in the group chat looking for a shift swap for Friday night, so I’ll see if I can swap.

Eddie: Sounds good. If not, just let me know; Bobby says he and Athena are happy to arrange it for whenever you’re free

Eddie: On that note, what are you up to for the rest of the day?

>I’ve got an afternoon shift at the bar until 6pm, then not much!

Eddie: Mind if I come to the bar after my shift to see you?

>Looking forward to it already.

Eddie: Me too. See you later

Eddie: Don’t go and destroy your leg again in the meantime, ok?

>You sound like my doctor

Eddie: He sounds like a smart man, Buckley, you should listen to him

>So, what you’re actually saying is that I should listen to you?

Eddie: Yes please. I’d rather have you in one piece.

Eddie: I just read that back

>…

Eddie: Before you finish whatever it is you’re typing I’ve got to get back to work. So don’t you dare start anything sexy I won’t be able to finish

Eddie: No wait

Buck has the biggest, most embarrassing cheesy grin on his face. He decides to take pity on Eddie. Well, a little pity, at least.

>Don’t worry. I’ll let you get back to fighting those hot, burning fires, Firefighter Diaz.

Eddie: You’re a menace

>I know. I was born with it. Stay safe. See you later

 Eddie: You stay safe too

>I’m not the one risking my life

Eddie: Just you walking down the street seems to be a risk to your life

Eddie: jokes aside though, just…be careful ok?

Buck could get annoyed over the lack of faith, but he actually just finds the sentiment really sweet.

>I will. Promise. See you later.

Buck smiles to himself like a soppy fool, and almost walks face-first into a lamppost.

“Shit!” Buck leaps around it. He’s barely been out of the hospital five minutes. He imagines Dr Franklin’s face if he came back in less than ten minutes later with concussion.

Buck decides he is never going to tell Eddie about this, especially not after Eddie’s literally just joked that Buck can’t walk down a street without it being a risk. He decides it is safest to stop to check his messages when a text comes through from Maddie.

Maddie: Hope your appointment goes well. Text me as soon as you’re done [09:52]

>MADDIEEEEEE! Guess who has the most perfect legs in all of LA?!!!!! [11:30]

Maddie: Jennifer Aniston? 😉

>You know, Eddie said the same thing.

Maddie: Well we both know Eddie has good taste – speaking of which, have you guys planned your first date yet?

>Not yet, but he’s coming to the bar after my shift tonight for a drink 😊

Maddie – Cute! Let me know how it goes!

Buck has just finished filling Maddie in on everything Dr Franklin said – Maddie was a nurse, so she’s always extra thorough with her questions about the appointments – when he sees another notification come through from Eddie, and he can’t help but smile like an idiot when he opens it:

Eddie: I was lying by the way. You have the best legs in LA, and I’m really glad they are fully healed

***

A few hours later Buck sends a quick message to Eddie to let him know he’s been able to swap shifts and is now free for Bobby and Athena’s barbeque on Saturday. Buck also receives a text from Maddie, and it turns out Chim has invited her to the barbeque as well. Buck is really looking forward to it; he hasn’t had all that much opportunity to hang out with the 118 outside of when he’s been working or at some accident or emergency Buck has stumbled upon or into.

Although Eddie texts back to let Buck know he’s told Bobby that Buck’s free, Buck doesn’t hear from Eddie again until Eddie turns up about twenty minutes before the end of Buck’s shift. Buck is behind the bar, and is alerted to Eddie’s arrival when he overhears one of the women waiting for drinks make a loud and giddy comment to her friends about the handsome guy heading their way. Buck glances up from tidying up after making of a big round of cocktails, and spots Eddie walking towards the bar.

Eddie’s got more than one pair of eyes on him as he approaches – of course he does, with that face, and those eyes and that physique in that tight white top with the sleeves rolled up past the elbow – and Buck can’t help but be flattered when Eddie just walks right up to the bar, eyes only for Buck, leans against the bar-top, cocks an eyebrow, sends Buck an exaggeratedly flirtatious smirk and says to him “So, what time do you get off?”

Buck can’t help but laugh, “I haven’t heard that one in a while.”

Eddie’s watching him laugh with a big grin on his face that reaches his warm brown eyes, and damn it’s endearing. Buck knows they’ll have the interest of the group of women at the bar close by; he can almost sense them watching the exchange, and Buck 1.0 would have been relishing the attention. But Buck 2.0? He’s only got eyes for Eddie.

“My shift ends in twenty,” Buck says, “You want a beer?”

“I’d better not, I’m driving,” Eddie says.

“Well how about a mocktail?” Buck grins at Eddie’s sceptical expression. “I make a mean one; you won’t look at alcoholic beverages the same afterwards.”

Eddie pulls a considering face, “Well with that level of confidence, I’d better judge for myself, right?”

Buck smirks and sets about making the mocktail. He can feel Eddie’s eyes on him the whole time, but luckily Buck’s good under that kind of pressure, and doesn’t spill or drop anything. He makes a show of popping a little umbrella in the drink and slides the glass across the bar top to Eddie.

“Enjoy.”

“I’m sure I will,” Eddie says drily, picking out the umbrella and eyeing it incredulously.

Buck’s attention gets diverted by some more customers and he’s busy until his shift ends. He finds Eddie right where he left him, sitting on a barstool, his mocktail glass empty.

“You enjoyed it then?” Buck comments smugly.

“As far as drinks the colours of a sunset go,” Eddie makes a show of thinking about it and then shrugs, “I’d say it’s the best I’ve had.”

Buck grins and cocks his hip to lean against the bar, “Have you had many drinks the colours of sunsets?”

“No,” Eddie allows, “But this one is definitely the tastiest and…sunsettiest.”

“I will take it,” Buck grins, because he loves Eddie’s mix of sassy and dry humour, “So, you want another one?”

“Actually,” Eddie starts, looking anything other than cool and casual for the first time since entering the bar.

Eddie looks nervous all of a sudden; kind of like he did the other night when he eventually confessed to Buck that Shannon was the only relationship he’s ever had. It didn’t take Buck by surprise, but Buck understood why Eddie was hesitant to admit it, since he’d presumably heard plenty about Buck’s encounters when Buck first moved to LA and met the 118. Buck had been quick to reassure Eddie, because it has been a long time since Buck’s upgrade to 2.0, and he wants to take this slowly as much as Eddie does; Buck wants to do this at a pace that is right for the both of them. They built a friendship first, and Buck is more than happy to keep building this with Eddie. So, whatever Eddie is building up to say, Buck’s going to reassure him, no matter what.

What Eddie does finally say, takes Buck by pleasant surprise; “I was thinking I could take you out to dinner,” Eddie says, “To celebrate you getting the all-clear.”

Buck gapes, “Are you…here to take me out on a date?”

“Only if you want to go on a date,” Eddie says, watching him like a part of him somehow expects Buck to say no.

Like Buck would say no to a date with Eddie Diaz.

“Sure, absolutely. Yes. Though wasn’t I supposed to be taking you out on a date?” Buck says.

He sees Eddie relax again at Buck’s enthusiasm, “I know, but today seemed like a good opportunity to treat you to one. I mean,” Eddie looks at Buck expectantly, “Has anyone ever taken you out on a date before?”

Huh.

Buck 1.0 didn’t really do dates. And every date Buck 2.0 had with Abbie and Ali were dates he had planned and organised. He hadn’t minded; he’d been happy to. But the idea of someone planning a date for him? It was…it was actually a really nice feeling.

“No,” Buck answers, “You would be the first.”

Eddie grins, clearly pleased about it, “I’ve got a table reserved for seven-thirty.”

Buck checks the time on his phone, “Mind if I swing by mine so I can a shower and change?”

Eddie shrugs easily, “Fine by me. I was going to suggest going via yours anyway so you can leave your car. I can drive us both and I’ll drop you home after.”

“Sounds like a plan!” Buck agrees, and to say he’s flattered and excited is a bit of an understatement, “Or, you know, a date!”

Eddie rolls his eyes fondly as he gets up to follow Buck out the bar, and it’s that reaction more than any that lets Buck know he’s found someone he can be totally himself with, because Eddie knows exactly who Buck is and likes him for it. Wants to take him out on a date. And it’s knowing that that makes Buck fall just a little bit harder.

The date itself has him falling harder still. Eddie's booked them a table at a small, family-owned Mexican restaurant. It’s got an easy-going, lively atmosphere, not too posh and too quiet like that place Buck took Abby on their first proper date (and choked on a bread roll – thankfully, there’s no bread rolls here at all; just delicious, delicious tortilla) or the overpriced places he went with Ali. And Buck feels miles more comfortable and able to enjoy himself here. He’s able to chatter away to Eddie and laugh at Eddie’s sassy remarks without worrying he’s disturbing the next table. 

When Eddie converses with the waitress and orders his meal in Spanish, Buck automatically orders his own in Spanish too. It’s only as the waitress walks away that Buck finds Eddie staring at him in amazement.

“What?” Buck asks.

“You speak Spanish?” Eddie asks, before his look of amazement morphs into one of vague horror as he presumably remembers the rare occasions where he has vocally exasperated to himself in Spanish because he thought Buck couldn’t understand him and it meant he was able to voice aloud what he wasn’t prepared to tell Buck at the time.

“Uhh,” Buck smiles sheepishly and rubs at the back of his head, “Yeah. Well, conversational enough to get by, I guess. I was a bartender in Peru for a while.”

“Of course you were,” Eddie says, like he should have known, “So that time the other day when I insulted your jokes…”

“Oh, you did?” Buck teases, “You called me hot, I know that much, so that’s all I really ended up focusing on.”

“Well, you are,” Eddie says.

“What? Hot? Or terrible at making jokes?” Buck grins when Eddie rolls his eyes, “And I think you’ve also said before in Spanish that I’m a good person, but that bad things happen to me? And also, that I’m smart but dumb…” Buck arches his eyebrow with an expectant air.

Eddie huffs, “I said ‘how can someone be so good when bad stuff happens to them so often?’ and ‘how can someone with so much knowledge be so dumb?’. I’ll have you know I was perfectly justified in the second one because you kept trying to leave your bed when you had been stabbed and had been told by the nurses to stay in bed.” Eddie watches him with a bemused expression, “Why didn’t you tell me you could understand me?”

“The first time it happened you were on shift and had to leave right after you said it, so I didn’t get a chance to say. The second time I was about to tell you but then you changed the subject so,” Buck shrugs, “I didn’t want to be rude.”

“And in your kitchen the other day?” Eddie prompts.

Buck shrugs, and says pointedly “Well, to be fair, I was a bit distracted."

Eddie’s eyebrows rise as he sits back with a pleased grin, and looks unfairly hot doing it, “Ok, that’s fair. I’ll let you off.”

“I am sorry though,” Buck says, fidgeting, “I should have mentioned it before now.”

But to Buck’s relief, Eddie just waves his apology aside, “I shouldn’t have been saying those things thinking you couldn't understand.”

“But they were nice things,” Buck allows, “So anytime you want to say anything nice about me in Spanish, you go ahead.”

“That depends,” Eddie says, “Will you say some nice things back?”

Buck grins, “I might just. But I’m a bit out of practice, so for the time being you’re just going to have to make do with simple compliments.”

“Like what?” Eddie encourages.

“Oh, so you’re going to test me now, are you?” Buck grins as Eddie knocks his foot against Buck's under the table. “Ok.” Buck hooks Eddie’s foot with his own. “You are very, very handsome,” he tells him in Spanish.

Eddie smiles and cocks his head, and he actually looks incredibly complimented, “So it turns out simple compliments work just fine.”

Buck smiles back triumphantly, “Good to know.”

After the waitress has brought their food to the table, Eddie asks, “So, tell me about Peru?”

And the conversation carries on naturally from there. Buck asks after Christopher, and finds out that this is the end of the first day Christopher has had Carla looking after him. Buck is thrilled to hear how highly Eddie thinks of Carla already – well, how could he not? Carla is amazing – and how much she has helped Eddie already. And Buck is even more thrilled to hear that Carla and Christopher got on like a house of fire (pardon the pun) on first meeting.

Buck also learns a little more about Eddie’s family, and some stories from the 118 that Buck hasn’t heard before. Eddie asks about Buck’s travels after school, and some more about his long and varied job history. Although Buck dances around mentioning his parents, other than Maddie’s favourite saying of ‘they’re not bad people, just bad parents’, he tells Eddie a couple of stories about growing up with Maddie. Buck fills Eddie in fully about how his doctor’s appointment went, and his hopes for his firefighting course.

Buck can’t stop smiling – or looking at Eddie – the whole time. It’s comfortable being there with him, and Buck wonders if part of that is because they built a friendship first (even though Buck has been undeniably and probably unsubtly attracted to Eddie from the start).

Eddie insists on paying the bill, and counters Buck’s protests by saying Buck can pay next time; which Buck will not let him forget. Eddie then drives Buck back to his apartment.

“So, the barbeque at the weekend,” Eddie says when they pull up outside of Buck’s apartment block, “Bobby and Athena have asked people to arrive around 4pm on Saturday. Does that work for you?”

“Yeah, sounds good."

“Are you and Maddie driving there together?” Eddie asks, “If not, you’d be welcome to come with me and Christopher.”

“Thanks,” Buck says, “I’ll check what Maddie’s plans are and if she needs a lift and let you know?”

“Sure,” Eddie says.

Normally it’s at this point of a date night that Buck starts feeling awkward about the goodbyes, but it’s as easy as anything with Eddie to say, “Thanks for tonight. I had a great time, and the food…man, the food.”

Eddie laughs, “Wait ‘til you try some of my Abuela’s homemade recipes. They will blow your mind.”

Buck is caught off-guard at how flattered he is by Eddie basically saying he’d be happy for Buck to meet more of his family, and with how easily Eddie suggests it. He’s broken out of it by Eddie placing his palm against Buck’s cheek and drawing him in to kiss him sweetly.

“Goodnight Buck,” Eddie says.

Buck can’t hide his thrilled smile. He’s been treated tonight, and can’t remember having enjoyed a date more. He’s always felt so nervous on dates, cautious about saying or doing the wrong thing. With Eddie it’s natural, comfortable; because Eddie’s his best friend as well as someone Buck is falling for, big time. He’s excited for the next date, but he’s also hopeful that this might be something that will last; that Eddie is someone who will want to stay.

Buck leans in to press a kiss to Eddie’s jaw, “Goodnight Eddie,” Buck returns softly in Eddie’s ear, before pulling back and getting out of the car.

After being so smooth, Buck manages to spoil the façade when he sends Eddie a dorky little wave goodbye, but it’s ok, because Eddie responds with a jesting, overexaggerated sassy wiggle of his fingers before he drives away, leaving Buck beaming like some kind of lovestruck dumbstruck fool on the sidewalk.

***

Maddie knows Buck’s a little nervous as they drive to the barbeque they have been invited to at Athena and Bobby’s home. Buck’s leg bouncing is the dead giveaway. Maddie knows things have been going well so far between Buck and Eddie, so it’s not that Buck is nervous about seeing Eddie or Christopher. Buck’s been spending more time with Chim too since Maddie started dating Chim.

Maddie thinks it’s because after his all-clear from the hospital, Buck is one step closer to actually realising his dream to become a firefighter. It means he is one step closer to actually working with half the people that are going to be in attendance. And it’s like he’s worried about making a good impression with them after his first formal invitation to a 118 social event outside of post-shift drinks.

“You’ve met these guys plenty of times,” Maddie reminds him.

“That’s kind of the problem,” Buck deadpans, “After how most of them first met me. And all the accidents and emergencies I’ve been involved in. This is like my fiftieth chance at making a good impression. Can someone get a fiftieth chance at making a first impression? And what if I say or do the wrong thing and they all realise I don’t fit in well with the 118 at all?”

“This isn’t an interview for the job, Buck,” she reminds him, “And they all think so highly of you already. They all came to visit you in hospital when you…when I…” she trails off, unable to say 'when Doug stabbed you', 'when he kidnapped me', but she knows Buck knows what she’s talking about. “And they’ve all been impressed with your quick thinking; last Halloween, at the bowling alley, in the tsunami. And Bobby has encouraged you more than once to consider taking the course once you got the all-clear, hasn't he? Chim has fondly told me funny stories from when they first met you. They all like you, Buck. Athena and Bobby wouldn’t have invited you here if they didn’t want you here; and they were the main two you clashed with when you first met them, right?” She reaches over to place a supportive hand on his arm, “And it goes without saying that Eddie will be happy to see you.”

Maddie is proved right, of course, when she and Buck are both warmly greeted by Bobby at the door, and when Buck thanks Bobby for inviting them, Bobby brushes the thanks off easily.

“You’re the guest of honour!” Bobby insists, clapping Buck on the shoulder, and the nervous tension seems to seep out of Buck immediately, “We wanted to celebrate you getting the all-clear.”

“Thanks Bobby,” Buck says, “I really…I really appreciate it.”

Maddie can’t help but think about the fact the 118 have been there for the beginning and end of Buck’s journey to recovery; they had been the ones to rescue Buck from underneath that truck and had seen how bad his injury had been first-hand. They had seen him multiple times in-between, and seen various stages of his recovery. And now they are there to celebrate his full recovery with him.

It’s then that Eddie and Christopher appear behind Bobby at the bottom of the steps. Eddie’s smile grows wider the moment his eyes land on Buck, and Maddie can’t remember the last time she saw Buck so thrilled to see someone he last saw mere days ago. Buck somehow lights up even more when Christopher looks over from where he’s standing next to his dad, and calls, “Hey Buck!”

“Hey buddy!” Buck calls back with a wave. “Sorry,” he excuses himself to Bobby and Maddie, “Can I…”

Bobby just steps aside and gestures him in.

Maddie watches Buck rush down the stairs, and how he glances at Eddie and squeezes his hand briefly in silent greeting before focusing on saying hi to Christopher, crouching to Christopher’s level to speak to him.

“We’ve brought wine and beers,” Maddie tells Bobby.

Bobby smiles warmly, “Thank you, I’ll take them off your hands. Please, come in, make yourself at home. I think Chim is with Lena, Hen and Karen in the garden.”

“Thank you, Bobby,” Maddie says, and she really means it, “Buck and I, we really do appreciate it.”

It’s an understatement. Being brought up by distant parents after…what happened…it had been just Maddie-and-Buck-against-the-world. Then as Doug had made sure Maddie was cut off from everyone, and Buck wandered, trying to find a place he belonged, both she and Buck had been alone in the world in different ways. When Maddie escaped and came to LA and found Buck again, it was just Maddie-and-Buck-against-the-world again for a time. To have met the friends she has at work – Josh and Sue and Linda – and to start dating Chim, who has been so amazing, and to see Buck starting a relationship that is clearly making him happy, and for them both to be invited into this group of friends…Maddie finally feels like she and Buck are making a worthwhile home and a family for themselves. It isn’t just the two of them against the world anymore.

“Hey!” Chim calls to her, coming through the door from the garden, “You’re here!”

Bobby waves her off, heading towards the kitchen with the wine and beers as Maddie goes to greet Chim. “Hi,” she says, smiling as she kisses him.

“Hey,” he grins back at her, “Come on, the adults are all out in the garden.” He casts a pointed, teasing nod towards where Buck and Eddie are sitting on the couch, playing theatrical commentators to the video game Christopher, Harry and Denny are playing. “Young love,” Chim stage-whispers to Maddie as Buck sets the kids off laughing and Eddie turns to look at Buck with a warm, soft smile on his face. “Sickening, isn’t it?”

Maddie hums in joking agreement, but has to drag her eyes away from the grin Buck responds to Eddie’s smile. They are clearly so comfortable in each other’s space, and Eddie’s son clearly thinks so highly of Buck. The fact that they are so absorbed in each other’s orbits they haven’t even noticed Chim and Maddie watching makes Maddie smile to herself, as she takes Chim’s hand and walks out to the garden with him to say hello to Athena, Michael, Lena, Hen and Karen.

***

Eddie had seen before at the bar how well Buck fit in with the team in a social setting, and how great Chim and Maddie are together, but it’s amazing how seamless it truly is; it’s like Buck and Maddie have always been a part of the family they have built around their team at the 118. Athena and Bobby already treat Buck like he’s an adult son that they are both protectively fond of and parentally-exasperated by. Chim has already got to know Buck outside of work as the brother of his girlfriend. Hen already teases and treats Buck as she does Eddie and Chim. Lena’s even warmed to Buck more quickly than she usually warms to new people; she approves of Buck for looking out for Eddie when he was caught up in the fighting. Buck gets on so easily with Karen, Michael, May, Harry and Denny, it’s weird to think he hasn’t actually met them before; but then, Karen and Michael are great people, who were just as welcoming to Eddie when he moved to LA over a year ago now, and May, Harry and Denny are all really great kids.

Buck’s going to fit in just as seamlessly at the 118. Eddie knows it.

“You should come to the station Halloween party at the end of the month,” Eddie tells Buck, “You’ll be able to meet some more people. And Christopher wanted me to invite you over on Friday for movie night. We’re ordering pizza; so, my treat.”

“That all sounds amazing,” Buck says, “And thank you for inviting me to so many things. But isn’t it my turn to treat you? I am supposed to be wooing you too, you know.”

Eddie’s eyebrow arches, because “Wooing?”

“Yeah, wooing,” Buck says, waving his hand around, “Wooed: as in the old-fashioned term; to woo. Don’t you want to be wooed?”

Before Eddie can answer, Hen walks past them, “Why, exactly,” she says, “Do you two sound like a pair of owls?”

“More like a pair of lovebirds,” Chim sing-songs beside her, as the pair of them cackle their way back into the garden.

Eddie glares half-heartedly after them, and then looks back at Buck, who is looking thoughtful. “I’ll think of something,” Buck says adamantly.

“I know you will,” Eddie says. And while he’s slightly concerned Buck is going to think up some big, grand gesture – Buck told him a while ago about a hot air balloon date he once organised – because Eddie doesn’t need grand gestures, he’s looking forward to spending time in Buck’s company no matter what they do.

“Leave it with me,” Buck says.

“And prepare to be wooed?” Eddie teases drily.

Buck grins at him and takes Eddie’s hand, “Oh yes,” he says, making a show of bowing low and pressing a kiss to the back of Eddie’s hand. He looks up at Eddie with a playful smile, “Prepare to be wooed.”

Eddie retracts his hand with a roll of his eyes, even though - if he is really truly being honest with himself - the gesture just made his heart beat a little faster, because nobody, nobody, has ever done that to Eddie before.

Before he can even think of what to do or say in response to it, or in return to it, Buck is excusing himself and insisting on helping Bobby with the barbeque. Since Eddie is not trusted in any kind kitchen – including outdoor grills – he leaves Buck and Bobby to it.

***

“It’s been really nice meeting Michael and Karen,” Buck says to Bobby as he helps him in the kitchen. At first he had been cautious about getting in Bobby’s way, but they are actually moving around each other like they’ve done this before. Buck can only hope the firefighting will work out for him this time and that Bobby’s keenness to have Buck join the 118 lasts long enough that he and Bobby can actually become used to moving around the station kitchen together. “And the kids too; May and Harry are great.”

“They are,” Bobby agrees warmly, “And it looks like they’re enjoying getting to know you too. Everybody is. Which is a good job, because once you’ve been invited to a Grant-Nash barbeque,” he says, “You’re considered a part of the family.”

Buck pushes down the wish that his parents had been even half as welcoming to having Buck and Maddie in their lives as Bobby Nash and Athena Grant are. He pushes it down and smiles at Bobby instead.

“That means a lot,” Buck tells him.

Bobby just nods, like he knows. Or that he’s at least guessed, because Bobby seems to be uncannily good at that.

“I was glad to hear you got the all-clear this week,” Bobby says, “Are you still considering to train as a firefighter?”

Buck nods, “I got the necessary qualifications to apply before the first time around, so that’s sorted. It’s just a matter of waiting on the Candidate Assessment registration opening for new applicants early next year. So hopefully, if I pass the assessment and graduate,” he shrugs, trying not to look too hopeful, “I’ll be in my probation period by this time next year.”

“I am positive you will,” Bobby tells him encouragingly, “And if you need any advice on any part of the process, you know you can come to me, or any of the team,” he squeezes Buck’s shoulder, “We’d be happy to help.”

***

Three days after the barbeque, the 118 get a call to rescue the same idiot vloggers that keep injuring their friend with their stupid pranks and stunts that they film and post online.

“You’re not our favourite regulars,” Chim tells them, haughtily unimpressed, “You’re not our favourite regulars at all.”

“You guys have regulars?” asks the one that always gets injured.

“You mean other than you?” Hen asks drily, “Yes, we have regulars.”

“Speaking of which,” Chim sidenotes to Hen, “It’s been a while since we were last at a Buck incident! When was it?”

“The gas leak at his building,” Hen says.

“Oh yeah! I was thinking it might have been his manager getting her arm pinned at the bowling alley.”

Hen scoffs, “No way. That was before the tsunami, even.”

“Was it?”

“Yeah. Before the tsunami but after the stabbing.”

“Oh, right, yeah!”

The vlogger that’s always getting injured stares between the two of them. “That guy sounds unluckier than I am.”

“Buck is unlucky,” Hen corrects, “You? It’s not bad luck that does this to you,” she looks pointedly at his horrid friends, who are lectured by Bobby, not for the first time.

The vlogger looks suitably chastened, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“We’ve told you before and we’ll tell you again,” Hen advises, “Get better friends.”

“So,” Chim asks Hen later as they pack up the ambulance, “It's been a while since the gas leak. Do we think Buck’s run of bad luck has…run out?”

Two hours later they are called to a grocery store that’s had part of its ceiling collapse. When they get to the entrance of the building the first person they see is Buck helping someone to limp outside.

“Bobby,” Buck greets in that sheepish way he always does.

“Buck,” Bobby responds.

“So about Buck’s run of bad luck…” Hen can finally answer Chim’s question, “It has most definitely not run out.”

***

Thankfully nobody is badly hurt from the ceiling collapse, and Buck is loudly protesting Hen’s medical examination from where he and the other shoppers have all been encouraged to sit down in the carpark outside while they are checked out. Apparently, Buck had just finished loading his groceries into his car when the ceiling came down, and he had rushed back in to help post-ceiling-collapse.

The dust and dirt on Buck’s face and hair is making his eyes look extra blue, but Eddie won’t let that distract him from telling Buck off.

Well, he’s about to, when Buck looks up at Eddie with his extra-blue eyes, sends him a charming smile and asks: “Firefighter Diaz, you up to anything tonight?”

Eddie sends him an incredulous look, because really, Buck? “No,” he says.

“Fancy a dinner date?”

“Sure, but I…” Eddie starts to say, when the shopper sitting next to Buck says something Eddie doesn’t catch.

Eddie can guess what she said by Buck’s reply: “Oh, it’s alright, I know him,” Buck reassures her, “We’re already dating.”

The woman looks up at Eddie, along with several other eavesdropping shoppers, as if they are expecting him to confirm that he is, in fact, dating Buck and that Buck is not, in fact, a guy that just confidently goes around asking firefighters he doesn’t know on dates.

“Much to my exasperation,” Eddie confirms, teasing but also scolding, “when he runs into unstable buildings on his own.”

“Hey! I called 9-1-1 first!” Buck protests, “Got to say hi to Josh.”

“And I expect Josh told you not to go into the grocery store?”

“Well, yes…”

Eddie just hums, unimpressed, and crouches down to rest on his haunches in front of Buck. He can tell that most of the nearby shoppers are still listening in, but he doesn't much care.

“You have to keep that recklessness of yours in check, Buckley,” Eddie tells him, brushing clumps of dust from the shoulder of Buck’s t-shirt, “For the sake of my blood pressure.”

“I did do a visual assessment of the structure,” Buck reassures him.

“I know you did,” Eddie says, because he absolutely believes it. “Are you sure you aren’t injured at all?”

“I’m fine! Promise! Go see to the others!"

Eddie is about to stand back up again, but then he stalls, “I can’t go out tonight,” he apologises, “I’ve got Christopher.”

“That’s a good job,” Buck tells him, “Because otherwise I’ve bought too many ingredients.”

Eddie smiles softly at him, because Buck has already factored including Christopher in their date, and Eddie can't help but fall just a little harder for him, right there and then in the grocery store carpark. “You’re going to cook for us?”

“Maybe? That alright?”

“That sounds great,” Eddie squeezes Buck’s arm before standing up to move on to the next person that needs checking on.

***

As the 118 pack up, Hen and Chim let Buck know they send their condolences for his bad luck streak still not having been broken.

“What? This?” Buck scoffs, waving his hand around, “This was only a minor incident!”

Chim’s eyebrows lift and he huffs, “I suppose it’s all relative.”

“Says the man who survived a literal rebar through the head,” Buck counters.

“Touché,” Chim says, “You know, I was actually thinking about recreating it on Halloween? Like Frankenstein or something?”

“No,” Hen says bluntly.

“No?” Chim asks.

“No,” Hen puts an end to it.

They manage to fit in a ‘see you’ to Buck before continuing their bickering about Chim’s grim Halloween costume idea as they head back towards the trucks.

Buck is about to head to his car when he realises he hasn’t asked Eddie where he wants Buck to cook; whether he’d prefer Buck to keep the cooking to his own kitchen, or to go over to Eddie’s because it’s easier for Eddie and Christopher to be at home.

He jogs back towards the 118, and spots Eddie climbing back into the truck.

“Hey! Firefighter Diaz!” Buck calls out, “Your place or mine?”

Eddie turns around, hanging out the doorway, to give Buck a once-over and a smirk, “Mine. Six?”

Buck nods, “See you there.”

Buck turns around to find a group of young women getting out of their car, staring at him. He sends them a polite smile and strolls back towards his car.

“Did he just pick up that hot firefighter, like, just like that?” one of the girls asks her friends.

“Looking like that?” another replies, “Of course he did, Charlene!”

***

Eddie opens the door at six to find a fresh and clean Buck standing there with grocery bags and a wide grin.

“Don’t worry,” Buck says, “The groceries were in the car before the ceiling collapsed.”

“Why does that only sound like a normal sentence when it’s you saying it?” Eddie deadpans, taking the bags from Buck and carrying them into the kitchen. “You doing ok?”

“I’m fine!” Buck insists, “Better for a shower and a change of clothes! How was your shift?”

“No fatalities, and no major scenes or major casualties, either. So, a better day than some.”

Buck looks around, “Where’s Christopher?”

“Just finishing up some homework in his room,” Eddie says, putting the bags down on the countertop, “I said he could only stay up later tonight if he gets it all finished now.”

“Ok, cool,” Buck says, already starting to pull things out of the bags, “This isn’t going to be anything fancy, but Christopher was telling me at the barbeque that one of his favourite meals is mac and cheese? And I can make a pretty mean one from scratch so I thought…”

Buck doesn’t get to finish, because Eddie has spun him around to kiss him. Buck makes that sound again against Eddie’s lips that Eddie remembers so well from their first kiss. Eddie hums in response and licks against Buck’s bottom lip, and Buck’s lips part automatically. Eddie has to remember Christopher could be entering the room any minute, so reluctantly slows it back to PG by cupping Buck’s jaw and drawing back, but not before stealing one last kiss.

“Not that I’m complaining,” Buck says, “At all. But what was that for?”

Eddie regards him, takes in his face; his blue eyes, his birthmark, his jawline, his lips; a little reddened already. Eddie’s wanted to kiss Buck all day. It started with Buck’s chirpy little ‘good morning’ text that had Eddie getting out of bed with a smile he couldn’t force off his face. Eddie had just had to make do with sending a ‘good morning’ text back, and vow to save a kiss for later.

When Eddie had first clocked eyes on Buck at the grocery store he’d been so worried that when Buck told them he was fine, Eddie had wanted to kiss him out of sheer relief. And then when Buck had not only been fine with having a dinner date with Eddie and Christopher, but had actually planned for it, Eddie had wanted to kiss him again. But Eddie had been working, and Buck was technically a patient, so Eddie hadn’t been able to.

But now, learning that Buck had remembered what food Christopher had said he liked and planned to make it for them, Eddie didn’t have to hold back on kissing Buck with everything he had.

So when Buck asked him what the kiss was for, Eddie could tell him it was for a lot of things; for loving Christopher, for being so thoughtful, for not being injured that day, for always being so thoughtful; for introducing Eddie to Carla, for helping Eddie out of his downward spiral even when Eddie pushed him away…

But what Eddie decides to say instead is; “For being you."

Buck sends him a small, soft smile.

“You should know,” Eddie adds, gathering his courage, just as he’d done an hour before when he'd sat down with Christopher to speak to him. “With you coming over for dinner, I decided to tell Christopher that we’re dating.” And then he waits to gage Buck’s reaction.

Buck looks surprised, but not negatively so. “What did he say?” he asks, and he actually sounds nervous.

“He asked if it meant you’d be coming round more, and when I said yes, he seemed thrilled.” Eddie shrugs with a grin, “So I think it went down well.”

Buck lets out an audible breath of relief, but before he can say anything, Eddie hears Christopher coming down the hall. As Christopher enters the room and Eddie’s eyes move to him, Buck follows his gaze, turning around in Eddie’s arms, as easily and comfortable as anything.

“Hey Christopher!” Buck chirps.

“Hey Buck!” Christopher says, “Dad says you’re making us dinner?”

“I am, yeah! I was thinking mac and cheese? That ok with you?”

Christopher lights up at Buck's words. “You remembered!”

“Yeah buddy, I remembered,” Buck grins, turning that smile briefly on Eddie when Eddie places his hand against the small of Buck’s back. “Do you want to help make it?” Buck asks Christopher. 

“Sure!” Christopher says, “Just don’t ask Dad to help.”

“Hey!” Eddie protests.

“What?” Christopher laughs at Eddie's expression, and then says, “Hen told me that you could burn water.”

Eddie makes a shocked and appalled offended noise as Buck laughs.

“Sorry Eddie,” Buck grins when Eddie sends him a faux-betrayed look. “Tell you what,” Buck says to Christopher, “Your dad can be in charge of grating the cheese. You can help me cook?”

“Yeah!” Christopher agrees with enthusiasm.

***

Buck is delighted that his mac and cheese goes down well with both Diaz boys. Afterwards Eddie insists on washing the dishes, so Buck and Christopher scroll through Netflix to pick a movie.

He and Christopher are in mid-discussion when Christopher says suddenly “I’m glad you’re dating my Dad, Buck.”

“You are?”

Christopher nods. “He’s been really happy,” he says, and the words take Buck aback a little for how such a simple phrase could pack such an emotional punch.

“I’m glad to hear your Dad’s been really happy. Because I’ve been really happy too,” Buck tells him. “And you’re happy?” Buck checks.

“Very, very, very!” Christopher beams.

“Oh yeah?” Buck grins back and puts his arm around Christopher’s shoulders, “Well I’m very, very, very glad you’re very, very, very happy, buddy.”

Buck repeating his ‘very’s makes Christopher laugh, and that’s apparently the end of the conversation; all that Christopher thinks needs to be said. Buck’s essentially just been given Christopher’s blessing, and he feels privileged to have been given it.

Once they’ve picked the movie, Buck says, “I’ll just go see how your Dad’s getting on.”

“Tell him to hurry up!” Christopher says, purposefully loud enough for Eddie to hear him.

“I heard that!” Eddie shouts back as Christopher cackles.

Buck finds Eddie just finishing up in the kitchen.

“Christopher just told me he’s glad I’m dating you.”

Eddie’s expression softens, and he glances in Christopher’s direction. Eddie doesn’t say anything, but Buck can tell from his expression how relieved he is.

Buck holds out his hand, “I’ve been given orders to get you to hurry up, so we’d better get over there quick.”

Eddie doesn’t hesitate before sliding his hand into Buck’s, lacing their fingers together.

“Guess you’re stuck with me, now,” Buck jokes. He knows it sounds self-deprecating, but his past relationships haven’t left him feeling the most secure about people wanting him around.

But Eddie being Eddie, just shrugs and says with simple directness, “Good, because it looks like you’re stuck with us too.”

Chapter Text

“This can’t be a coincidence,” Chim states aloud, “You guys planned this, right?”

Eddie frowns, turning to see what Chim is looking at. What Chim is looking at is Buck, weaving his way toward them through the Halloween-costumed 118 at their post-shift party, dressed as an angel.

Buck looks amazing. He's wearing grey jeans and a white shirt, with fluffy little wings hooked around his shoulders and a halo headband in his blond hair.

Eddie, as it happens, had been so busy sorting out Christopher’s superhero costume this year, that he just grabbed the first thing he could think of for himself; which happened to be black jeans and a dark red shirt he already owned, and a pair of headband devil horns that he’d picked up last minute at the nearest store.

It is a complete and utter coincidence. Eddie turns his surprised expression on Chim, who just gawps at him.

“You’re kidding me,” Chim exclaims, “No way. I don’t believe this isn’t planned. Like, me and Maddie planned!” Chim gestures at himself.

Chim is dressed as a bunny. Maddie is across the room dressed as a magician, in a top hat and tails.

“No way!” Buck’s beaming at the coincidence as he reaches them, “Eddie! I thought you were coming as…what was it? A rebel pirate?”

“Yeah,” Eddie says, “Well Christopher declared that I couldn’t recycle a Halloween costume for the third year in a row so,” he shrugs, “I improvised.”

“You improvised well,” Buck tells him, leaning in to kiss him in greeting, and Eddie can’t get over how good Buck looks. “Hey Chim! I see Maddie talked you into defying the ‘gender roles’.”

Chim held up his hands, “No talking into required. What kind of man would I be if I passed up being a sexy bunny? And your sister looks good in a suit.”

Buck’s eyes find Maddie in the crowd and he grins, “Runs in the family," he says before he excuses himself; “I’ll just go say hi to everyone.”

As soon as Buck’s out of earshot again, Chim turns back to Eddie, agog, “You really didn’t plan this? The universe, man.” He points at the ceiling. “The powers of the universe!”

Eddie rolls his eyes.

“Did he have tupperware with him?” Chim asks, looking back at Buck, “Did I see brownies?”

“Yeah I think he was bringing brownies.”

Chim disappears quickly over to the food spread after that.

Later, Eddie wanders over to where Buck is talking to a mummy, a vampire and a pirate, aka. Bobby, Athena and Hen.

“Speak of the devil,” Hen says when she spots Eddie, and it is really unfair how Hen can make even the lamest jokes sound effortlessly cool.

“Ha ha,” Eddie responds dryly. “Are you guys actually talking about me or is Hen just being ‘funny’.”

Hen’s expression turns sly, “We were actually talking about how we’re surprised Buck didn’t come in a firefighter costume.” She turns her grin on Buck, who has gone pink in the face. “Right, Firehose?”

As Bobby and Athena chuckle into their drinks and Buck pulls a ‘what did you do that for?!’ face at Hen, Eddie watches on with confusion.

“I’m sorry what?” Eddie asks, bewildered. He raises an eyebrow at Buck. “Firehose?”

“Wait, we haven’t told you this story?!” Hen looks gleeful. “Hey Chim! We’ve never told Eddie about Firehose?!”

“You guys…” Buck protests half-heartedly. If he ’d really been bothered, Eddie knows Hen would stop teasing, but Buck is sheepishly grinning, so Eddie waits to hear what he presumes is another 118-meets-Buck-at-an-incident story.

Chim has bounced over so quick the rabbit ears on his head are still bopping. “So,” Chim starts, “We got a call to a strip club.”

“It wasn’t a strip club,” Buck corrects, “It was a themed bar.”

“Basically, an excuse to have all their staff dressed in sexy uniforms,” Hen carries on. “There’d been a fight, so we rolled up to deal with the injuries, and who is waiting on tables but Buck, in a novelty firefighter uniform.” Hen’s grin widened, “Some of the girls we tended to at the scene kept calling him ‘Firehose’.”

“Yeah, and every time I saw you guys for the next six months you called me Firehose,” Buck complains, “I had to explain to one of my bosses why one of the local fire houses referred to me by a ‘sexual innuendo’. It was super embarrassing.”

Bobby pats Buck’s shoulder sympathetically with a mummy-bandage-wrapped hand.

***

Chim stares at the last of the brownies Buck brought to the party. It looks so lonely. He could put it out of its misery…

“Go on Chim…” he hears Buck’s voice over one shoulder, “The last one’s yours.”

“But I’ve already had like…ten already,” Chim says mournfully, “I have a physique to maintain.”

“That’s right, you're Mr April,” Eddie’s voice chimes in over Chim’s other shoulder.

“Yes,” Chim agrees, “Mr April has got to keep calendar-body ready.”

“But what’s one more?” Buck disagrees, “I know how much you like them.”

“Don’t let this guy persuade you into doing anything you don’t want to do, Chim,” Eddie says firmly.

“But the brownies…” Buck voice says, “They are so chocolatey and gooey and have the big…”

“Chocolate chips…” Chim finishes dreamily, “I know. They’re my favourite.”

“I know,” Buck says, “That’s why I brought them specially.”

“But I’ve had so many already…” Chim complains. His stomach surely can’t fit in another one.

“Then walk away,” Eddie encourages, “You can do it.”

“I can do it,” Chim agrees.

“But you don’t have to, though,” Buck adds.

Chim loses his patience and spins around. “You know what; angel and devil on my shoulders,” Chim says, “You’ve got these the wrong way round.” He reaches up – because his friends are unfairly taller than him – and plucks the angel halo and devil horns off their heads and switches them over.

“You are a bad influence,” he accuses Buck, “You and your delicious baking...”

But as he’s reprimanding Buck, Eddie snags the last brownie for himself and makes a break for it.

“What?!” Chim yells, realising too late that it was all a ruse on Eddie’s part. “No! I take it back! You don’t deserve that halo! Bring back my brownie, Diaz!”

***

Buck and Eddie are still wearing each other’s headbands when they make it back to Eddie’s house. Christopher’s at a friend’s Halloween sleepover party. The house always feels less lively and bright whenever Christopher isn’t there.

They grab a couple of beers and set themselves up on the couch.

“So,” Eddie says, “the Firehose thing…” Buck glances at him, uncertain what Eddie had made of the 118’s latest anecdote. He shouldn’t have worried. Eddie cocks his eyebrow and his lips quirk into a smirk as he asks “Do you still have that costume or…”

Buck laughs, “Afraid not.” He gestures at himself, “You’ll have to make do with this angel-devil hybrid.”

Eddie shrugs. “Fine by me.” His arm moves from where it’s been resting along the back of the couch behind Buck’s head so he can toy at the collar of Buck’s white shirt. He takes Buck in once more. “You look beautiful.”

Buck can’t stop the flattered smile that breaks out over his face. He sometimes still can’t quite believe he is dating this man. He feels so lucky. Eddie is not just his boyfriend but his best friend. Their relationship is still really new, so they are still in their ‘honeymoon period’ but so far, it’s been refreshingly easier for Buck than the relationships he’s had before. For once Buck doesn’t feel like he’s the one more invested in the relationship; Eddie likes him right back, and Buck will never get over that, either, because Eddie is without a doubt the most gorgeous man Buck has ever met.

Eddie looks incredible tonight. Buck couldn’t take his eyes off him all evening. The dark red shirt Eddie’s wearing must be one he’s owned for a few years, as it’s tight where Eddie’s since gained more muscle in his shoulders and arms, but it's tight in a way that looks mouth-wateringly good. The colour suits him too, and seeing those devil horns buried in Eddie’s dark hair had been unfairly hot and cute in equal measure. Now, of course, Eddie is wearing the halo. It suits him just as much, if not more so. Yeah, Buck is feeling damn lucky right now.

“Thanks,” Buck says, leaning closer to Eddie, “You look…” he pauses, his grin mere centimetres from Eddie’s parted lips, “Devilishly handsome.”

Eddie groans in exasperation, thumping his head back on the couch as Buck laughs. Eddie sends him a half-hearted glare, before visibly making a decision.

The next thing Buck knows, he’s got a lapful of Eddie as Eddie swings his leg over him and straddles him on the couch.

“You’re a menace, Buckley,” Eddie tells him.

Buck manages to recover from his gormless, amazed staring fast enough to tilt his head to one side and send an impish grin up at Eddie. Eddie huffs, cups Buck’s face and leans down to kiss him. Buck takes a moment to comprehend the feeling of Eddie’s weight pinning him to the couch, pressed against him in all the right places; the warmth of Eddie’s palms on his face, Eddie’s lips on his, the delicious rub of their stubble. And then Buck gets with the programme. He opens up under Eddie’s kiss, his hands slide to Eddie’s hips to hold him there.

He “oomphs,” when the halo headband slips forward on Eddie’s head and hits Buck, somehow attaching itself to the devil horns.

“Oh, for the love of…” Eddie complains, removing his headband before much more carefully taking the devil horns off Buck’s head and tossing them both aside.

“And the wings,” Buck suggests, because they are digging into his back where they are squashed between him and back of the couch.

Buck leans forward as Eddie obliges in wrestling the elastic hoops from over Buck’s shoulders and off his arms. It means Buck’s face ends up pressed into Eddie’s neck and Buck is quite alright with that. Eddie smells amazing.

Once divested of their Halloween props, the shirts quickly follow.

“I love how you look in that shirt,” Buck mourns as Eddie unbuttons the red shirt, but then it joins the pile of removed items and he gets a look at Eddie’s naked torso. He runs his hands down Eddie’s sides, feeling Eddie shiver under him. “No, I’ve changed my mind. This is so much better.”

“Buck…” Eddie grits out as he leans back and looks down at him, taking in the sight of him right back. “I…you…” and then he just gives up when Buck impatiently pulls him down and crushes their mouths back together again. Eddie hooks his arms around Buck’s shoulders and Buck’s got his arms around Eddie’s waist, so they are pressed as close together as physically possible, skin against skin.

Buck can’t get enough. And he loses track of how long they spend making out like horny teenagers on Eddie’s couch. But it eventually ends when Eddie rolls his hips down against Buck’s in a way that has Buck’s eyes falling shut as he groans softly. When he comes back to his senses, Eddie’s looking at him with a blown-pupiled, heated gaze.

“Stay the night?” Eddie asks.

“Uhh…” Buck tries to get his brain under control, “Yeah. Yes. Definitely. Please.”

Eddie curses softly and rests his forehead against Buck’s for a second, before he climbs off Buck and holds out his hand to help pull Buck up from the couch. Eddie’s eyes track him the whole time, and Buck doesn’t know if he’s ever been looked at in the way Eddie’s looking at him now. He’s had people look at him like they want him, but not like he’s wanted. Eddie must see the way Buck’s looking all besotted at him, because his heated gaze softens, and he draws Buck in by his hold on his hand to kiss him again, before leading him in the direction of his bedroom.

***

Eddie wakes up with Buck beside him for the first time. Buck is still asleep, face soft and slack. His hair is ruffled, and Eddie remembers being the one that messed it. One of Buck’s arms is thrown over Eddie’s hips, and Eddie remembers how good it had felt with Buck’s hand wrapped around him, his hand wrapped around Buck, as they both panted into the miniscule space between their lips. He remembers Buck’s blue eyes locked with his own, Buck’s desperate expression when he had teetered on the edge, and then when he had tipped over it.

Eddie doesn’t regret having waited to spend their first night together, but now that they’ve had it; now that he knows what it feels like, what Buck feels like and looks like, Eddie’s so glad he asked Buck to stay last night. He hadn’t planned to, but it had felt right, and god, Buck had looked so good pinned under Eddie on the couch, kiss-drunk and looking up at him with something akin to awe, that Eddie would have been a fool to let him leave.

He remembers when he had offered Buck a place to sleep the night there was the gas leak in Buck’s building; when he had come back from his shift and seen Buck asleep in his bed, he’d thought how Buck looked like he belonged there. Well, now he has the proof.

Eddie’s observation is interrupted by his phone alarm buzzing. He sighs, not wanting to get up. He feels warm and content and he doesn’t want to leave. But he has to.

He moves the scant inches it takes to brush a kiss over Buck’s cheekbone.

“Buck?” he asks softly.

Buck’s blue eyes blink open slowly, but when he focuses on Eddie and remembers where he is, he sends Eddie the softest smile Eddie has ever seen in his life. “Hey,” Buck says sleepily.

“Hey,” Eddie returns, “I’ve got to get ready for my shift, and I’m swinging by Christopher’s friend’s house first to take Christopher to Abuela’s. But if you want to stay here and get some more sleep, I can leave you a key to let yourself out…”

“It’s ok,” Buck murmurs, rubbing at his eyes as he sits himself up a little, “I’ll get ready too.”

“You have work?” Eddie asks.

“Not until tonight,” Buck says, “But I’ll get ready and have breakfast with you.”

Despite how sweet Buck’s response is, Eddie can’t help but feel a little disappointed he’s not going to be able to see Buck again tonight. Christopher will be disappointed too when Eddie collects him from Abuela’s this afternoon.

“I’m looking forward to when we’re on the same shifts,” he thinks aloud.

Eddie can tell Buck knows what he means by that; they’ll be able to sleep in together on the same days, spend the evenings together on the same days. Get ready and go to work together on the same days.

Eddie loves his job and his team at the 118, but he also can’t wait for the day Buck will hopefully join them.

***

Buck opens his front door a week later to find Eddie standing on the other side. He’s about to make some delighted exclamation over Eddie turning up when they hadn’t had plans, but then he registers the look on Eddie’s face. It’s the same look he’d had on his face the last time he had gone to the underground fighting ring; after the 118 had had a particularly harrowing call.

“Eddie?” Buck asks carefully, “What’s happened?”

“I…uhh…” Eddie’s gaze isn’t meeting Buck’s, “We had a really tough call, and I knew…I knew I needed to go somewhere that wasn’t…” He trails off. But Buck knows; Eddie has come here because he was afraid that he might end up in another illegal fight if he didn’t.

Eddie’s fists and jaw are clenched tight and there are unshed tears shining in his eyes and it hurts Buck to see it.

“I’m glad you came here,” Buck tells him, taking Eddie’s hand, which relaxes a little to let Buck hold it and draw him into Buck’s apartment. “Let’s go sit down, yeah? Do you need anything to eat? Drink?”

Eddie shakes his head silently and lets Buck lead him to the couch, where they sit next to each other. Buck puts an arm around Eddie’s shoulders, and Eddie’s suddenly curling into his side. Buck wraps him properly in his arms and gets comfortable. Eddie doesn’t cry, but he’s silent and holding onto Buck like he needs the comfort, and Buck’s happy to give it. He’s glad Eddie’s looked for comfort here rather than finding an outlet elsewhere.

They sit there for a while, Buck combing his fingers through Eddie’s hair as Eddie calms down.

Just when he thinks Eddie might have gone to sleep, Eddie moves.

“Are you ok?” Buck asks as Eddie stands.

“Yeah…sorry, I…I have to go; Carla’s got Christopher and she’ll want to get home.”

“Do you feel ok to drive?” Buck asks.

Eddie nods. He does look better than he did when he arrived; no longer so tense that he might shake apart. He does look a little embarrassed though. “I’m sorry I just turned up. Bobby’s been encouraging me to talk about things rather than bottle things up; talk it out rather than fight it out. I know I haven’t done much talking, but…” he trails off.

“Hey!” Buck stands up to take Eddie’s hand, “I’m glad you came here.” God, he is glad that Eddie came here to cool down rather than an illegal fight to release his frustrations. “And maybe we didn’t talk about it, but you’ll talk when you’re ready, right? You still made the choice not to go back to that place, so…that’s progress right?”

Eddie sends him a small smile, “I’m working on it.” He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry. I’m not exactly advertising the job, here.”

“I know tough calls are going to be part of the job,” Buck says, “But, if I do get the job and I’m on shift with you, I’ll be able to have your back, right? And you’ll have mine.”

“Of course,” Eddie says immediately, squeezing Buck’s hand, “Of course I will.”

When Buck walks Eddie to the door, an idea occurs to him.

“Hey,” Buck says, “Wait just a sec?” He jogs to the kitchen to rummage around in one of the drawers. He returns quickly and ploughs into it before he can start having doubts about this idea being too soon, or how Eddie will receive it. “I just thought if you ever need a safe space to go that’s not home, and I’m not here – or even if I am! – you could let yourself in…” He holds out a spare key for his apartment. “Any time, Eddie. I mean it.”

He waits anxiously for Eddie’s response, and is relieved when Eddie steps forward to hug him tightly.

“Thank you, Buck,” Eddie murmurs in his ear. Buck feels Eddie’s hand cupping the back of Buck’s head, his fingers smoothing over the shorter hairs at the nape of Buck’s neck. Eddie’s lips press a kiss to his jaw. “Thank you.”

“Thank you for coming here,” Buck says, “And for trusting me. I’m sorry today was hard.”

Eddie pulls back to look Buck in the eye. His brown eyes search Buck’s face for a moment, and it’s a rare occasion where Buck has no idea what Eddie is thinking. But Eddie’s expression is open and gentle and he leans in to kiss Buck so softly, Buck feels a wave of unexpected emotion.

“I’ll see you Saturday?” Eddie asks, taking the key from Buck’s hand.

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

“Goodnight, Buck.”

“Goodnight, Eddie.”

***

Buck’s leaning so far over the railing Eddie’s tempted to use the hand not holding onto the back of Christopher’s t-shirt to hold onto Buck’s too.

“If you fall into the lion enclosure, I’m not leaping in to save your ass,” Eddie warns.

Buck sends him a theatrically offended look, “That is very ‘long live the king’ of you, Eddie. Or should I call you Scar.”

“No Buck!” Christopher says, “Scar pushes Mufasa into wildebeest! Not other lions!”

“You’re right!” Buck exclaims, and then looks mock-suspiciously at Eddie, “Don’t get any ideas for when we get to the wildebeest.”

“Honestly, I feel like I’m parenting two kids here,” Eddie bemoans aloud.

He doesn’t mean it, of course. He loves Buck’s enthusiasm, and so does Christopher. Buck’s excitement and fascination is endless, and it motivates Christopher’s natural curiosity too. A little-known fact about Eddie is that he likes obscure, weird facts too, so he’s logging away everything Buck’s been reading out from the enclosure signs or his phone.  

“Well,” Buck stands upright, turning to smile down at Eddie smugly, “I am younger than you. So maybe it feels that way, old man.”

Eddie rolls his eyes, “I’m only four years older than you, Buck.”

Buck winks. “Still in my twenties though, aren’t I?”

“Thin ice, Buckley,” Eddie warns, pointing at him.

Buck holds up his hands, “Sorry, sorry. I’ll respect my elders.”

Christopher’s not been listening to any of their playful bickering, too fascinated by the lions. “Look Dad!” he says excitedly, “Look Buck! They're coming closer!”

Buck and Eddie both turn around to watch the lionesses.

“Have you guys ever had to deal with escaped zoo animals?” Buck asks Eddie curiously.

“A tiger escaped at Barnsdale Zoo,” Eddie says, “Bobby, Hen, Chim and Athena were there, but that was before I joined.”

“Dad fought a tiger shark though!” Christopher chirps excitedly.

Buck turns around to stare at Eddie with wide, questioning eyes.

Eddie shakes his head with a grin, “I didn’t fight the shark, Chris,” Eddie says, “I did help rescue it though.”

“From where?” Buck asks.

“A traffic collision,” Eddie says.

“A what now?”

As Eddie explains to Buck just how they had found a tiger shark biting off a guy’s arm in the middle of a highway, Christopher’s attention moves to the next enclosure, and they move on.

At one point Buck leaves Eddie and Christopher looking at the penguins while he goes to get them all ice cream. Eddie crouches next to Christopher so they can look together through the glass.

When Buck returns, he is looking mightily pleased with himself.

“What’s that face for?” Eddie asks suspiciously, as he stands up to take his ice cream, and pass one to Christopher.

“Oh, I just heard some girls gossiping over there,” Buck says, leaning in so Christopher won’t hear him, “Turns out I’m dating a DILF.”

Eddie’s eyebrow arches and he glances at the group of girls, who are definitely looking their way. He’s a little embarrassed by their attention, but it turns out he feels much more confident under Buck’s attention.

“Turns out?” Eddie looks back at Buck, “You mean you weren’t aware I was a DILF already?”

“No,” Buck disagrees, reeling Eddie in and kissing him soundly, “I was very, very aware.”

Buck sends his smug look over at the girls, as if to say ‘move on, girls, this DILF is mine’ and Eddie just grins and shakes his head with fond exasperation. He takes Buck’s hand.

***

Later, Buck drives them back to Eddie’s. Christopher’s gone to sleep in the back of Buck’s jeep, so Eddie carries Christopher to the house.

“Keys are in my back pocket,” Eddie tells Buck, and Buck takes them out and unlocks the door for them.

When Eddie heads back from Christopher’s room, Buck tries to hand him back the keys. Eddie shakes his head.

“They’re a spare set,” Eddie says, “Hang on to them. So you don’t have to knock next time you come over. Just let yourself in.”

He sees Buck work it out in his head. “Have you been carrying these around all day?”

Eddie shrugs sheepishly. He’s been waiting for the right opportunity to give them to Buck.

He’s wanted to give them to Buck from the moment Buck had given Eddie keys to his apartment. Buck had been so great that evening, when Eddie had turned up unexpectedly at his door. He had just finished a shift from hell; a call where they had lost not just people, but children. Eddie had been so filled with furious despair at how unfair it was, that when he had got in his car it took everything he had not to go find a place to punch out his anger and frustration and pain. Recovery from his coping mechanism wasn’t going to happen overnight, Eddie knew, but he also knew he had to try to break the cycle. And that was how he had found himself heading in the direction of Buck’s apartment block. It hadn’t been sitting down and talking to a professional, but it had been as much progress as Eddie had been able to manage. Thankfully, and unsurprisingly, Buck had taken it in his stride with an open door and open arms.

So Eddie needs Buck to know that he has a safe space here in Eddie’s home too. Whenever he needs it.

Buck looks utterly thrilled. “Thank you,” he says, “This…this means a lot to me.” Buck puts the keys in his pocket, and the smile on his face lets Eddie know just how much it means to him.

“Well,” Eddie wraps his arms around Buck’s waist, “You mean a lot to me. And you mean a lot to Christopher too; he had a great time today.”

“I had a great day too,” Buck says, “Even if you did plot to throw me to the lions.”

Eddie huffs in exasperation, “I’m pretty sure I was trying to stop you throwing yourself to the lions.”

“My knight in shining armour. My DILF in shining firefighter uniform.”

“Don’t push your luck, Buckley.”

Buck bats his eyelashes innocently and then darts in to kiss Eddie’s cheek. “You mean a lot to me too, Eddie.”

“Good.”

Buck laughs, “Good?”

“Yeah,” Eddie nods, pulling Buck in for a proper kiss. “Good.”

***

Eddie dips a cookie into his mug of cocoa. “It got ugly,” he confides in Hen, “After I said I had to work on Christmas, he went straight to his room and wouldn’t speak to me for the rest of the night.” He eats the cookie, but even the sweet sugar tastes sour at the memory of Christopher’s disappointment.

Hen hums, “It’s just new. He’ll get over it.”

“Abuela’s bringing him to my aunt’s. I know he’s going to have a great Christmas. He just…last Christmas was…” He thinks of Shannon, and the joy on Christopher’s face on Christmas morning when he had seen her standing outside. “Special,” he said. “This one’s harder. Knowing its his first Christmas where the wish he made for years won’t be coming true this time.”

Hen smiles at him with understanding sympathy, “Is that why you invited us all here?" she asks shrewdly, "Trying to cram in as much Christmas cheer between now and then?”

“Well,” Eddie gestures across the room, “I thought it would be nice to bring the boys together for a playdate.”

“All three of them,” Hen laughs, as they look over to where Buck’s sitting on the floor making gingerbread houses with Christopher and Denny.

“Buck’s been great at getting Christopher in the Christmas spirit,” Eddie says, “He’s been really sensitive about Shannon and how we’ve been feeling, and having him around is making it a lot easier to distract ourselves than it would have been if it was just going to be the two of us. And I know it’s going to be special to spend our first Christmas holiday with him, but Buck has to work on Christmas too.”

“Is he elfing again this year?” Hen asks, with a knowing smile on her face.

“It’s a bar shift on Christmas Day, but yeah, he’s doing the Meet Santa again too. He really enjoyed spreading the Christmas cheer last year." Eddie shrugs with a little smirk, “Plus he knows he looks cute in the elf costume.”

“Yeah, well, careful Eddie,” Hen warns, “Don’t go getting yourself put on Santa’s naughty list for fraternising with the staff.”

Eddie laughs despite his worries over Christopher. He and Hen both look back at their kids and the big kid in the middle, and Eddie can’t help but smile, filled with fondness, as Buck asks if the boys need more ‘cement’ icing for their gingerbread houses and the boys shout “I do!” and “Me!”

Buck stirs the icing, “Denny, we will do you first with this big ol’ piece.”

But then Christopher says, “Hey Buck?”

“Yeah?” Buck asks.

“Can I spend Christmas with you?”

Buck’s face drops, and his eyes immediately seek out Eddie across the room. Eddie gives him a minute shake of his head, feeling guilty all over again.

“I’m sorry, buddy,” Buck says, “But I’m gonna be working on Christmas with – with Santa. You know how I was a substitute elf for him last year? Well he’s asked me if I can do it again.”

Christopher’s looking at his hands. “Stupid work,” Christopher says quietly, but Eddie hears it.

Eddie looks to Hen, feeling awful. But Hen just smiles sympathetically and says “I promise you he’ll forget he was even mad by New Year’s.”

Buck stands and wanders over. “I’m regretting taking a Christmas Day shift," he says glumly, sitting down at the table with them.

Eddie sighs, wishing he didn’t have one either. He knows Christopher is going to have a great day with Abuela and Tia Pepa, but it still hurts to see him miserable about not being able to spend it with Eddie and Buck too.

“It’s been a rough year. For everyone,” Hen says, “So I’m happy to immerse myself in the magic of Christmas.”

“With that spirit, you’d make a great Christmas elf, Hen,” Buck says, as Eddie passes him his mug of cocoa to sip from.

“Nah,” Hen grins, “I’ll leave that to the experts.”

***

It was actually Hen’s words that got Buck thinking. And planning. And plotting.

So, on Christmas Day, he waits in the station, a couple of hours before he has to start his shift, with Athena, Michael, May, Harry, Karen, Denny, Christopher, Eddie’s Abuela and Tia, and several other family members of the 118. There’s a Christmas dinner spread on the table, and they are waiting for the 118 to come back from their shift to surprise them.

This is the first time Buck has met Eddie’s Abuela and Tia in person. They knew exactly who he was when he got in touch though, and when they arrived at the station Pepa took one look at him and said “You must be Eddie’s boyfriend, or else you just dress the same.” Turns out, Buck and Eddie both like red, body-hugging red tops, apparently. Buck is scolded for not having visited sooner, and then listens as they scold the not-present Eddie for not having invited him round already. He is invited to the next family get-together. Buck really likes Isabel and Pepa.

The look on the 118’s faces as they come up the stairs and see all their family there, shouting “Merry Christmas!” to them, is possibly Buck’s proudest moment.

He sees when Eddie spots Christopher and calls his name. Buck hangs back behind Christopher, Isabel and Pepa as Eddie rushes over to hug them and kiss Isabel and Pepa’s cheeks and wish them all Merry Christmas.

“Athena just told me,” Hen’s voice comes from beside Buck, and he drags his eyes from Eddie to look at Hen, Karen and Denny. “I can’t believe you did this,” Hen says, “Thank you, Buck.”

“Well, you inspired me,” Buck says, “You know, I figured we should all get to immerse ourselves in the magic of Christmas.” He plucks down a piece of mistletoe from the ceiling, lifts it over his head and kisses Hen on the cheek.

“Aww,” Hen says, and she looks genuinely thrilled, “This has been a great surprise, thank you.”

Buck leaves Hen and Karen to it, taking the mistletoe with him, only to walk straight into an eavesdropping Eddie.

“You organised this?” Eddie asks.

“Yeah,” Buck says, “Well, I contacted Athena, and she pulled it all together.”

Eddie hugs Buck, kisses his cheek and says, “Thank you, Buck. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Eddie,” Buck says. He then lifts the mistletoe aloft and waits expectantly.

Eddie grins and leans in to kiss Buck properly.

“Your aunt thinks we share a wardrobe, by the way,” Buck comments when they separate.

“You’ve made quite the impression already,” Eddie says.

“Good, I hope?”

“You have no idea,” Eddie says, “I have never seen someone win Pepa round so fast.” He takes Buck’s hand and tugs him back towards where Isabel and Pepa are standing with Christopher. “Keep hold of the mistletoe,” Eddie suggests, “Might need it later.”

Buck guards that piece of mistletoe with his life.

***

In the spring, the application process opens. Buck is accepted and begins his training. Life has never been better. He actually has a direction for his future, and he’s excited. He's excited for everything that is to come.

Buck's driving on the freeway when he spots her climbing over the side of the bridge.

He pulls his jeep up as far to the side of the road as he can and rushes to the edge. A woman has lowered herself down onto the narrow strip of metal at the bottom of the sign attached to the bridge for the traffic driving on the exit below.

Buck calls 9-1-1 and recognises his sister’s voice as soon as she asks him what his emergency is. “Don’t worry Maddie,” he says in lieu of the typical, “It’s not for me.”

“Evan?! What’s happened? Where are you?!”

Buck tells Maddie his location and fills her in on the situation. The woman is acting erratically and is only wearing a bath robe, and before Buck can think, he’s lowering himself onto the short walkway behind her. She looks confused and distressed and he can’t risk her jumping into the traffic below. He prays he can talk her down, or manage to grab her if she tries to jump.

“And you’re not in any danger?” Maddie checks, for the third time.

Buck then realises that the woman has put a big sheet over the road sign that says ‘SEE ME NORMAN!’. She turns around, sees Buck and wildly demands “Who are you?!”

Buck tells Maddie, “Well, not yet anyway.”

Chapter Text

“I was driving over the bridge when I saw you climb over,” Buck explains to the woman in the bathrobe, “I just wanted to make sure you’re ok.”

“Who are you talking to on the phone?!” she demands.

Buck realises – a little too late, because, alas, Buck is very much an act-now-think-later kind of person – that he has no idea what he’s doing. He doesn’t know what this lady is going through, so he doesn’t know why she’s here, or what he can say to talk her down, or help her. And he’s just climbed down onto a thin piece of metal over traffic with an agitated woman with a sign and a look in her eye like she might consider pushing him off if he tries to stop her achieving whatever it is she’s set out to do.

“Just my…my sister,” Buck answers her, figuring it might be smarter not to tell the lady that he’s called 911. And it’s not exactly a lie. He can hear Maddie’s voice calling his name through the speaker as he ends the call, “I’ll call her back later.” He pockets it. He’s aware of the traffic gradually stopping below them, people getting out of their cars to stare. There are phones out already, filming or taking photos. He hopes it’s not too long until the police show up. He decides it’s best to keep the lady talking until they do, to keep her distracted long enough to keep her from hurting herself or anyone else. “I’m Buck,” he tries, “What’s your name?”

Bathrobe Lady narrows her eyes at him suspiciously, but she does answer. “Lola.”

“Hi, Lola,” Buck says. “Who is…” he looks at the giant sheet she’s hung up with its big painted letters. “Who is Norman?”

“My husband.”

“And you want him to…see you?”

“This is his route to work, so he’ll see me now. He can’t ignore me. Ignore this…” Lola sighs frustratedly, grasping at her hair, “I just can’t handle being ignored anymore!”

The first thing that flashes into Buck’s mind is him, living in Abby’s house, waiting for…well, anything. She wouldn’t have even had to come back; a call would have done. A call would have kept him hanging on, waiting. Or, kinder still, a call to let him know she wasn’t planning on coming back would have saved him from hanging on for as long as he did.

“I know exactly what you mean,” Buck says, because oh, he knows.

Lola eyes him incredulously. “Oh, come on,” she scoffs, “I’m sure you get ignored all the time.”

Buck thinks thanking her for the compliment – sarcastic as it is – is probably not a good idea, and it wouldn't be genuine anyway, because whether she believes it or not, Buck has had his fair share of being overlooked.

“You have a Norman,” he says, “I had an Abby.” She still looks doubtful, so Buck voices his sudden rush of Abby-related feelings aloud, “You think you have something…something special, you know? She’s the one. So, you wait. And then at some point it hits you; you’re alone. She’s not coming back. You’re just there to collect the mail, and it is piling up, right?” He pauses, and thinks of the day he finally realised she wasn’t coming back, allowing himself to finally move out of Abby’s house and move on. “And then…then you realise, ‘You know what? It’s over.’ You just need to face it and move on.”

And he did move on. He had found Ali. Until the car pile-up. Although they both survived the crash, their relationship ultimately didn’t; the trauma of it all, and Buck’s injury, put too much strain on such a new relationship.

But then, Buck had met Eddie. And Eddie…Eddie was worth everything Buck had gone through before to reach that point. Eddie was the reason Buck now knew what a healthy, mutual, loving, comfortable, adult relationship was supposed to feel like.

However, Buck is not about to say that to the lady in the bathrobe. Saying he had an Abby lets Lola know he understands; that he’s on her side. Waxing lyrical about his attentive, affectionate, kind and sexy boyfriend is not going to endear him to a lady who feels ignored and unwanted by her husband.

Said attentive, affectionate, kind and sexy boyfriend turns up several minutes later, and proceeds to yell at Buck in Spanish; calling him an idiot with a death wish. He still looks sexy, though.

The rest of the 118 are there too, of course, and Athena, and a whole bunch of cops and Buck might be a little embarrassingly out of his depth, here.

***

Bobby is astounded that news reporters have somehow managed to turn up before any of the emergency services. He’s not sure where exactly they always manage to materialise from. He’s not astounded that Buck has also somehow managed to turn up before any of the emergency services.

“Which one of you wants Norman to see you?!” Taylor Kelly calls up at Buck and the woman as the police usher the reporters back.

Buck looks bemused as he looks down at himself in his jeans and t-shirt, before gesturing wildly to the woman in the bathrobe as if to say ‘it is clearly her and not me’.

“Wait?” Buck squints at Taylor Kelly, “Are you Taylor Kelly?”

But Taylor has already turned to her cameraman to begin her report; “Traffic at this exit came to a screeching halt about ten minutes ago, but CHP is telling me the backup is already a mile long.”

Bobby’s already got Chim, Hen and Lena discreetly inflating a landing cushion under the bridge, out of sight of the woman above, so they will be ready to move it if the woman or Buck end up too close to the edge. He’s sent Eddie to the top of the bridge for when the pair need pulling up. Bobby goes to stand next to Athena, who is already talking to the woman over the police megaphone.

“Hell no! I won’t come down until Norman sees me!” the woman is shouting, “And don’t you try to force me down!”

“Nobody’s going to force you to do anything,” Athena replies, “We’re just gonna talk. My name’s Athena. What’s your name?”

“Lola. And this is Buck. He’s not with me. He just followed me here.”

“I’m acquainted with Buck,” Athena says flatly, “And I would like to remind him that he’s training to be a firefighter. Not a police negotiator.”

Buck winces, “Err, yeah…hi Athena. Sorry!” Buck calls, and then greets Bobby, as per their routine. “Bobby.”

“Buck,” Bobby responds.

The woman has turned to talk animatedly at Buck, looking unimpressed; no doubt wondering why Buck appears to be a civilian but is on first-name basis with a number of the emergency services who have showed up.

“Lola,” Athena calls her attention back, “What’s the problem?”

“The problem? The problem is after thirty years of marriage, I can’t get thirty seconds of attention from my husband! It’s like I’m invisible! I’m not invisible! I am here, damn it!” She opens her bathrobe. She’s naked. “See me, Norman! See me now?!”

Buck startles at Lola's bold display and looks up and away from her respectfully. That's when he clearly spots Eddie, who has appeared above him on the bridge, and who clearly has some choice words for Buck’s lack of self-preservation. Buck looks suitably chastened as he responds.

Bobby is too far away to hear what they are saying to each other, but Chim - who is directly under the bridge - apparently can, because he asks over the radio, "Did anyone else know Buck speaks Spanish?” so Bobby assumes they are having a heated debate in Spanish.

Bobby keeps an eye on the inflating of the landing pad, the situation on the bridge where Eddie is slowly lowering a harness down to Buck, and also on Athena, who is trying to locate Lola’s Norman.

“Lola, good news,” Athena reports a few minutes later, “We’ve found your man! He’s on his way!”

“I won’t come down until he sees me!”

“Ma’am, you’re the most famous face in the city right now. There ain’t exactly a way to miss you.”

“I don’t care,” Lola yells, striding closer to the edge.

Bobby signals to Chim, Hen and Lena and they start pushing the landing pad out from under the bridge.

Lola spots it immediately. “No, no, no, no, no!” she shouts, “What are you doing?! I – I told you!”

“It’s just there for your safety, Lola!” Athena tells her.

“I…I told you!” And that’s when Lola reaches into the deep pocket of her bathrobe, pulls out a gun and shoots the inflatable pad.

Chim, Hen and Lena rush for cover as the police scramble into position behind their vehicles, firearms drawn. But Bobby’s too distracted watching Buck, who freezes at the appearance of the gun he clearly didn’t know she had. Eddie’s eyes are wide as he stares down at the weapon in her hand.

“Hold your fire!” Athena orders the police officers.

Lola is looking around wildly, and as she does, she notices the harness Eddie has lowered down, and she actually looks betrayed as she swings the gun to point it at Buck. Instantly Buck’s hands go up in a placating gesture.

“Lola,” Athena says over the speaker, and she’s got that steely, protective edge to her voice now that Bobby only ever hears when the people Athena cares for are threatened. “Listen to me very carefully. You now have every firearm in the Greater Los Angeles area pointed at you. If you continue to threaten that man, they will fire. Do you understand?” she waits, and demands again, “Do you?”

Lola lowers the gun. “I don’t want to hurt anybody.”

Buck’s started talking to her, but so quietly nobody on the road below can hear him. Even Eddie on the bridge above them looks like he can’t hear – or can't follow – the conversation.

“He’s talking to her?” Athena comments to Bobby, like she’s not sure how to feel about it.

Bobby doesn’t either. “Yeah, that’s either going to go well or…the other thing.”

It does seem to work, though. The gun doesn’t go up again, and Buck keeps Lola distracted long enough for Norman to turn up with the police that have escorted him from further down the road of blocked traffic.

“Lola?” Norman talks to her through the speaker Athena’s given him, “Lola, honey it’s me. I’m here. And I see you, just like the sign says.”

“Liar! You look right through me! You don’t even notice me. I’m just around to…to collect the mail!” Weirdly, Lola looks to Buck for confirmation, like he’ll back up her argument.

Buck nods. Bobby isn’t sure if he’s agreeing because he actually understands, or because it’s probably sensible to be agreeing with the woman with a gun in her hand.

Lola proceeds to make her case; that Noman doesn’t know who she is anymore, that she isn’t even sure who she is anymore now that their son is grown up and moved out, that Norman never looks at her, that she feels unappreciated and unwanted.

Norman vows that he sees her, that he loves her, and asks her to put down the gun.

The gun is also Bobby’s most pressing concern. He doesn’t want to see anyone he cares about shot, and if Buck falls from that height, with the inflatable deflating thanks to the bullet hole…

Norman plays In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel, and Lola’s eyes widen. She says something to Buck, which Bobby assumes is about Norman actually remembering a meaningful song. Norman shouts memories up to her; beach bonfires and bands they used to listen to.

It seems to finally get through to Lola, who staggers, and Buck flinches as she raises the gun, but it’s only to give it to Buck. Buck stares at it like it’s a live grenade and passes it up to Eddie.

As Buck isn’t yet a qualified firefighter, Bobby orders that they need to get up to the bridge to lower down one of the crew to help Lola and Buck with the harnesses and lines. Bobby knows Buck already knows how they work, but he’d rather not have news channels broadcasting a civilian assisting in a rescue. 

“Lord knows he needs to rein in that reckless streak, but I can’t deny that kid is going to make a damn good firefighter,” Athena tells Bobby as they prepare to go up to the bridge.

“I know,” Bobby says. It doesn’t mean he isn’t going to tell Buck off for this, though.

It doesn’t mean Athena isn’t going to either.

***

“I’m glad you guys have worked it out,” Buck tells Lola as they wait for one of the 118 to come down to help with the harness.

He isn’t too glad that she decided to point a gun at him, but he’s glad she doesn’t feel invisible anymore. And not just to her husband; Buck’s pretty sure she’s going to appear on every local news channel for the rest of the day. Which means he himself might too, and ugh, now he needs to avoid watching TV for the rest of the day.

“I thought it was over,” Lola says, confiding in him like she never pointed a gun at him at all. “I thought Norman couldn’t see me anymore…that he wouldn’t...but he does. I have my Norman back.” She pats his arm sympathetically. “Who knows, maybe you’ll get your Abby back too?”

“Oh,” Buck rubs at the back of his neck, “Thanks, but I don’t need an Abby. I have an Eddie now.” Buck can’t help but glance up at Eddie, who is busy getting ready to lower Chim down.

Lola raises an eyebrow as he follows his gaze – and his smile – to Eddie and puts two and two together. “The man that has been yelling at you in Spanish?”

“Yeah,” Buck says dreamily, thinking about how seen and loved Eddie makes him feel – has always made him feel, even before they started dating – “He’s amazing.”

The Amazing Eddie gathers Buck into his arms as soon as Buck gets back over the side of the bridge and mumbles “Idiota,” into Buck’s shoulder. Buck’s heart flutters at the amount of relief in Eddie’s voice, and yeah, Buck’s smitten.

“Sorry Eddie,” Buck tells him, “I was just trying to help. I thought she was going to jump, and that I could maybe help her by talking to her, but then things…took a turn.”

Eddie hums, turning to eye Lola, who is busy getting arrested by Athena. “If she’d shot you…”

Eddie has faint scars from the bullet wounds he suffered in Afghanistan, but he didn’t confide in Buck about what had happened in the Valley of Death until a month or so ago; after the first and only time he’s woken Buck while having a nightmare about it in the five months they’ve been sharing a bed. So, Buck knows why Eddie was so worried. He puts a hand on Eddie’s uniform; over one of Eddie’s scars.

“I’m ok,” he promises softly.

Eddie takes a breath, meeting Buck’s eyes, and placing his hand over Buck’s and tangling their fingers together.

“Sorry for scaring you,” Buck says.

“You’re too brave for your own good,” Eddie tells him, warmer now that he’s not so anxious about Buck’s safety.

“I thought I was an idiot,” Buck teases.

“There is,” Chim inputs from nearby, “such a thing as being a brave idiot.”

Buck pulls an exaggeratedly offended expression, and Eddie grins at him, before glancing back at his team. “I have to help pack up,” Eddie tells him.

“Oh sure,” Buck says. He’s still holding Eddie’s hand so he squeezes it. “I’ll be sticking around anyway, I guess. Athena will probably make me follow her to the station to take a statement. I know the drill.”

Eddie shakes his head with fond exasperation as he goes to help Chim pack up the equipment. Buck wanders to where Athena is busy arresting Lola. As Buck expected, Athena asks him to come to the station, and Buck says he will head right there.

He’s walking back towards the 118, just to say ‘see you later’ before he heads to his jeep, when someone steps into his path.

“Hi…Buck, right?” Taylor Kelly says, “Taylor Kelly, Sky Witness News Eight, but from our brief chat earlier, it seems like you already know that?”

“Yeah! Taylor Kelly reporting!” Buck replies enthusiastically, “'On the 405 speeds are under five miles an hour, making your morning commute a rough one',” he quotes, “I used to hear your traffic updates a lot while I was driving to work. And I’ve seen you on the TV since then.”

Taylor’s gaze rakes up and down him, and she cocks her head with a smirk. “Well, it is always nice to meet a fan. Especially a handsome one. You wouldn’t fancy doing something for me, would you? A quick interview?”

Buck can recognise flirtation when he sees it, and immediately starts to back up. “Oh about…about that?” he gestures to the bridge, “That’s not my story to tell.” Lola had told him things in confidence. Gun or not, he is not about to betray that trust. He’ll keep everything confidential; just like he will when he becomes a firefighter. He glances over at Bobby and the others for help. He can’t see Eddie.

Taylor follows his gaze, “You seem pretty well acquainted with the 118. Was I right in hearing Sergeant Grant say you’re training to be a firefighter?”

“Uh, yeah. That’s right.”

Taylor hums thoughtfully. “Well, I apologise if I offended you earlier when I asked if it was you up there wanting Norman’s attention. I didn’t mean to assume your sexuality.”

“Oh,” Buck says, surprised, “Oh, no, well, that’s alright. I wasn't offended about that. You kind of got that right, well, half right.” It’s possibly the most awkward way Buck the Bisexual Disaster has ever told anyone he’s bi. Except for maybe that time he told his parents; another thing for them to be disappointed about.

Taylor seems to understand what he means, though, but it also seems to give her encouragement.

“But I doubt you’d need a public cry for attention,” she smiles flirtatiously, before presumably prying for his relationship status; “I imagine your partner gives you plenty of attention, if you have a partner…?”

“Yeah, he does,” Buck says, in reply to the first part of the question.

At the same time Eddie suddenly appears beside them and replies “Yeah, he does,” to the second part of the question.

One of Taylor’s eyebrows had risen at their simultaneous replies. The other one goes up when she takes in Eddie. Buck turns to look at Eddie, who is standing as close to Buck as usual, their arms pressed together. Buck smiles at him, even though Eddie’s too busy looking at Taylor Kelly like he’s highly unimpressed.

“Firefighter Diaz,” Taylor greets, like she doesn’t particularly like Eddie, either.

“Taylor,” Eddie says back, “I thought you’d have learned by now not to try to pressure people into interviews when they are clearly not open to talking to you.”

Taylor huffs, “Please. I was just making an introduction with your man, here.” She says, having clearly figured out what’s going on; why Buck knows the 118 and why Eddie’s just appeared acting all protective. “He was a fan of my traffic updates.”

“That’s nice,” Eddie says, flatly.

There’s a brief, awkward silence, until Taylor breaks it. “Well, I had best go and find another witness to interview. Nice to meet you, Buck, and I’m sure I’ll see you again soon, Firefighter Diaz. My congratulations, on landing such a hottie.”

“Thanks,” Buck says.

“I wasn’t talking to you,” Taylor winks, then sends a final smirk at Eddie. “Firefighter Diaz,” she says in farewell, before strutting back towards her cameraman.

Buck turns to stare at Eddie as soon as Taylor Kelly is out of earshot. “What was that?”

“Taylor’s traffic news helicopter crashed not long after I met you, and we rescued her and her crew. She wanted to thank us by doing an exclusive about the firehouse. Bobby wasn’t keen, but gave in. We ended up getting spiked by some LCD laced brownies someone had gifted us, and Taylor filmed Bobby while he was  high and wasn’t in control of what he was…divulging. Personal information, about himself.” Eddie looks furious. “I’m pretty sure the only reason she didn’t air it is because Athena had some things to say about it.”

“I didn’t mean that – why you don't like her, though that’s…that’s awful, poor Bobby,” Buck frowns after Taylor Kelly, who has just gone way down in his estimations, “What I meant was…what was that? Who was that Eddie Diaz I met just now? All territorial.”

Buck’s putting it lightly. Jealous Eddie Diaz is really damn hot. Eddie’s eyebrow quirks as he takes in Buck’s expression and Eddie bites his lip as he considers Buck's reaction.

“Really?” Eddie asks.

“Really,” Buck smirks.

“You’re coming over this afternoon, right?”

“That was the plan, yeah, for revision.” He leans forward to murmur in Eddie’s ear, “But I hope we can also find time to satisfy that possessive streak of yours.”

He moves back and grins at the look on Eddie’s face. Taylor Kelly is watching, so, he’s pretty sure Eddie will forgive him if only because it’s made a very obvious statement.

“I’d best get to the police station before Athena tracks me down,” Buck says, “I’ll see you later?”

“Later,” Eddie vows.

Buck’s looking forward to it already.

“Keep safe,” Buck calls to him, before he heads to his jeep.

“You too,” Eddie replies, “No more climbing off bridges with armed wives at the ends of their tether.”

“I can make no promises.”

***

Eddie isn’t quite sure what came over him earlier when he saw Taylor Kelly blatantly flirting with Buck, but he’s glad he acted on it, because that afternoon after his shift, it has Buck encouraging Eddie to act on it again with him.

Eddie covers Buck’s body with his own, pressing him down into the mattress, smoothing his hands over Buck’s biceps and up along the soft skin of his inner forearms until he reaches his hands and loosely holds them down on either side of Buck’s head. Eddie doesn’t just satisfy that little moment of jealousy and possessiveness that came over him, but he also pours every emotion he has from that morning into their kisses; his panic at seeing Buck in danger, his relief at him being safe and unharmed, his admiration of Buck’s goodness and bravery, his love…

And that’s the thing. Eddie knows. He knows he is completely and utterly in love with this man. He’s known for a little while, but he hasn’t quite managed to speak them aloud to Buck yet; hasn’t been able to find the words when he needs them. He’s shown him instead, and he shows him now. He worships every inch of Buck on that bed and leaves him panting, flushed and – to Eddie’s smug satisfaction – a little bit speechless.

A nap and a shower later, and they are curled up on the couch in their sweatpants and t-shirts. Buck has his revision for the firefighter written exams on his knees, and his forehead is creased in that way it does when he’s concentrating hard. Eddie has a coffee in his hands, leaning back against the arm of the couch, facing Buck with his feet pushed under Buck’s thigh, there to answer Buck’s questions if he has them.

They’ve got an hour before Christopher needs picking up from school, and Eddie can’t remember the last time he felt this truly warm, cosy, contented and domestic. He finds it addicting. After Shannon, Eddie hadn’t been sure if he’d be ready to find a new partner and form a family with them. Even when Shannon had come back, Eddie hadn’t been sure he had been ready to return to a family of three.

But this? This right here with Buck, this is comfort and comfortable. This feels right.

Buck's absorbed in his learning, and Eddie's absorbed in watching Buck, so he sees when Buck reads something about firefighter regulation that makes him shift, and his eyes pause in their reading.

“You called me brave earlier,” Buck says. “You guys always call me and the people you rescue brave. When you are all brave every single day. I just…” Buck’s eyes flick up to Eddie. “After today…after what Lola said, I thought of you, and I just want you to know that I see you. I see what you do every day. What you all do every day. It’s amazing.”

Eddie nudges Buck’s thigh fondly with his foot, and Buck squeezes Eddie’s ankle.

“You make me feel seen,” Eddie says. And he means it. Nobody knows him like Buck does.

“I hope so,” Buck says, “And not just for the work you do, but for who you are as a person, Eddie. You are so kind, and generous, and brave, and you care so much for the people around you. You’ve welcomed me into your life, your home, your family. I just want you to know, I…you’re the best. Eddie.”

Eddie’s left in stunned silence for a moment over everything Buck's said, but what pulls him out of it, is what Buck hasn’t said. There has been a couple of occasions over the last few months where it’s seemed like Buck’s been on the verge of saying ‘I love you’, like it’s on the tip of his tongue, but he swallows it back, like he fears rejection; of saying it too soon and not hearing it back. Eddie has been trying to voice it aloud himself, but not been able to find the right words at the right time, but now he has found it. If Buck is afraid of voicing his love to someone who might not voice it back, then Eddie decides he had better hurry up and say it first.

So, he watches Buck, takes in his face – the smudge of ink on Buck’s lip and chin from where he’s been chewing his pen – the revision scattered all over Buck’s lap, and Buck’s hand still wrapped warm around his ankle, and says “I love you.”

The hope that blooms in Buck’s blue eyes warms and breaks Eddie’s heart in equal measure. “I…really?”

“Really,” Eddie promises.

He leans forward to take Buck’s arm and guide him towards him. The books and paperwork scatter forgotten to the floor as Buck follows until he’s straddling Eddie’s lap, looking at him with a searching kind of wonder, like he still can’t believe what he’s just heard.

Eddie licks his thumb and uses it to wipe the smudge of blue ink from his chin. “I see you too. You’re beautiful, inside and out,” Eddie makes sure Buck knows, and then tells him again, “And I love you.”

He’s so close to Buck’s face that he sees the shift in Buck’s eyes – the belief set in, and the joy – and the smile that breaks over Buck’s face is beautiful.

“I love you too, Eddie,” Buck says, “So much.”

Buck tastes of coffee and mildly of ink and mostly of Buck when he kisses Eddie, and it’s not the smoothest of kisses because he can’t stop smiling, but that’s ok, because Eddie can’t stop grinning either.

***

The day Buck passes the practical, physical exam of the training course, Eddie, Bobby, Hen, Chim and Lena are there to cheer him on. The day he graduates the course with flying colours, Eddie hosts a party at his house. It’s a celebration party for Buck, who, after a request (more like a demand) from Bobby, will be joining the 118, but it is also a leaving party for Lena, who has decided to return to the 136, to help them recover and rebuild after the 136’s extended hiatus following the tsunami; with the firefighters either on medical leave or on temporary transfer to other houses.

“Oh, don’t look so sad, Diaz. Those puppy-dog eyes of yours are weapons,” Lena had said the day she had told Eddie her decision, clapping him on the shoulder, “You should be thrilled; it means you’re probably getting Buck as your new partner.”

It does appear like Bobby intends Buck to join the A team. And Eddie and Buck are due to sign all the necessary HR paperwork about their personal relationship.

Eddie can’t remember the last time his house was this full, and it feels bright, and right, and good. Christopher and Buck are here, and his Abuela and Pepa. Lena is here. Bobby, Athena, Michael, May and Harry are here. So are Hen and Karen with Denny and their new baby foster daughter Nia. Maddie and Chim have brought along Albert, Chim’s half-brother, who turned up out of the blue from Korea to visit Chim and escape their father. While Chim wasn’t pleased at first, Eddie can see him warming to Albert by the day. Albert's a really great kid, and he likes baseball. Eddie’s already planning to take him to watch a game.

Eddie and Chim are picking food off the buffet laid out on the table, watching Christopher, Buck and Albert chattering and laughing together on the couch.

“You ever think it’s weird we spend 50-something hours a week together and we still hang out?” Chim asks.

“No,” Eddie says, “What’s that saying? You got the family you’re born into,” he nods at his Abuela and Pepa, “and the one you choose? Well, that’s what the 118 is. The family we chose.”

Chim sends him a warm smile, and Eddie whacks him fondly on the shoulder with a napkin before looking back at Christopher and Buck.

Eddie thinks of the delight that had been on Buck’s face when he’d first seen the congratulations banner from the 118. He thinks of how Buck’s eyes had grown shiny and soft when Christopher had presented him with his hand drawn card that says ‘Dear Buck, You are going to be an awesome firefighter!!! Love, Christopher.’ And the big, encompassing hug Buck had given Christopher in thanks.

Yeah, Eddie thinks he’s chosen a pretty good family.

***

Buck’s nervous on his first day at the 118. He looks so damn good in the uniform though. And Eddie already knows he’s going to make a truly great firefighter.

“You ready?” Eddie asks him, as they both climb out of Eddie’s car and look at the firehouse.

“I think so,” Buck says, his fingers curling, like he’s not used to turning up at the 118 without tupperware in his hands to thank them for saving him.

Eddie catches his fidgeting hand. “You’ve got this, Buck.”

Buck squeezes back.

They release each other’s hands, but their arms still brush as they walk into the station together as co-workers for the first time; leaving their personal partnership at the door and entering their professional one, side-by-side. Starting as they mean to go on.

***

“You’re badass under pressure, probie,” Eddie faux-postures at the end of their first shift. “You can have my back any day.”

“Yeah? Well, you know, you can have mine,” Buck grins back.

***

Bobby had had no doubts that Buck would fit seamlessly into the team. He wasn’t wrong. Buck is the asset Bobby always knew he would be. Buck’s first couple of months in his probation period on the job go as well, if not better, than Bobby had hoped.

It also turns out that Buck is not as much of an accident-magnet when it’s his job to actually attend accidents. He can be impulsive sometimes, following his heart over his head, but so can Eddie, so can Hen and Chim, and so can Bobby, all in their own ways. Buck's reliable, he’s determined, he’s quick-thinking. He likes to cook, so Bobby’s got a pair of willing hands helping in the kitchen for once. But most importantly, it is clear that Buck loves the job. After years of drifting from one job to the next, trying to find his place, and a uniform that fits him, Bobby knows Buck has found it here.

Buck works well with everybody, but most seamlessly with Eddie. Bobby can’t say he’s surprised. Buck and Eddie know each other so well that the professional partnership comes easily to them. Their personal relationship does not affect their work; they are naturally tactile with each other, but they were like that even as friends before they began dating. They have had the odd argument, or heated comment, over the frustrations of a rash decision one or the other of them has made on a job, but otherwise they work together faultlessly.

The first big challenge comes the first time that Buck loses someone and feels solely responsible for that loss. They have had a few tough calls over his first couple of months, where they haven’t been able to save everyone, but those had been handled as a team. This one is different. This is the one Bobby knows Buck will remember.

They were called to a rollercoaster malfunction, where the cars had stopped upside down. One of the cars had had a faulty safety barrier, which had left one guy – Devon – hanging from the car by his hands, and his friend dead on the ground below. The 118 had brought the truck in at the wrong angle, so Bobby had instructed Buck and Eddie to climb up to help Devon first, while Hen and Chim went to the friend who had fallen, before they could move the truck around to be able to better start helping everyone else. It had been Buck who had gone to Devon and lowered the strap for Devon to loop his arm through so that he and Eddie could pull him to safety. But Devon had frozen. Bobby has unfortunately seen it many times, but Buck hasn’t. He tried to talk Devon out of worrying about the phone cameras and stop looking down, and encourage him to reach for the strap, and then when Devon couldn’t or wouldn’t, Buck had tried to get him to reach for his hand instead. Buck’s hand had been inches from Devon’s – begging him to just reach up and take his hand – when Devon had said ‘I can’t’ and let go, dropping to his death.

Buck saved four lives on the ride that day, but he didn’t save Devon's, and from the moment he and Eddie climbed down from the rollercoaster, Buck’s been in a state of shock.

They are in the truck now, heading back to the station. Buck hasn’t said a word. Bobby glances back from the cab, and can see that Eddie’s sitting with his thigh and arm pressed to Buck’s and has a hold of Buck’s hand. Chim and Hen are watching Buck with sympathy, because they have all been there before. All of them. Hopefully it means they will be able to help Buck through it as a team.

“I’m not hungry,” Buck says quietly, when Chim puts dinner down in front of him.

“It’s America, Buckaroo, eating has nothing to do with being hungry,” Chim says, in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“You have to keep your strength up, Buck,” Eddie adds softly from where he is sitting beside Buck.

“I was right there,” Buck says, speaking about it for the first time, and all of them stop, “All he had to do was reach up and grab my hand.”

“People do funny things at times like that,” Hen says, because she understands. They all do. “Sometimes they just freeze up.”

“I know people dying…that it’s part of the job, but I’ve not lost anyone before. Does it get any easier?” Buck asks, “Losing someone?” He looks around at their faces hopefully, like he wants them to say yes.

But saying yes would be a lie, so Bobby answers honestly, “No. It doesn’t get easier.”

“Not in the moment,” Chim continues, in an effort to reassure Buck, “In that moment it means everything to you, but over time it gets easier to let it go and move onto the next job.”

Buck’s had it lucky - Bobby has heard Chim explain before that each job is like a one night stand; that in the moment they mean everything, but the next night it’s on to the next one. Bobby reckons the only reason that analogy hasn’t made an appearance is because Chim isn’t going to aim for bravado with Buck. Buck is the closest thing Chim has to a second younger brother; he isn’t going to brush over this.

“Is that sensible?” Athena’s voice carries up the stairs, “Allowing Chimney to impart words of wisdom?”

Bobby is relieved to hear his wife’s voice, and to see her face as she makes it to the top of the stairs. He messaged her to ask if she could come join then when she next had a break. Athena always seems to have the right words, and if anyone is going to know what to say to help Buck, it’s going to be Athena. Her good-natured ribbing of Chim has already got Buck smiling a little, so Bobby knows he’s made the right call.

“Ha-ha,” Chim rolls his eyes as Athena smirks at him.

“Hey Buckaroo,” Athena says fondly, sitting down opposite him and leaning forwards to squeeze his hand, “I hear you’re having a little trouble moving on from a call?”

Buck nods, looking down at his fidgeting hands on the table. Athena glances at Bobby, and then at Eddie. Eddie’s jaw is tight, and he looks concerned, like he wants to help and support Buck but isn't sure how to right now; while they aren't alone. But at Athena’s look, Eddie nods a little, and Athena continues.

“You know why they make us wear these uniforms, right?” Athena asks Buck, “Cops, firefighters, paramedics?”

“Sex appeal, duh,” Chim inputs with a grin.

“So people can easily identify us,” Buck answers, looking back at her.

“Both true,” Athena says, with an amused wink at Chim, “But it’s also for our own good. Because when we take the uniform off at the end of the day, it symbolizes letting go of all the sad, crazy, inhumane things we’ve seen that day.”

“I see his face every time I close my eyes,” Buck confides, “That…that happen to you guys?”

Bobby looks over his team, and they all look worried at Buck’s confession. It’s not anything they haven’t all gone through before, so they know it’s hard, but it's also hard to see and hear Buck struggling with it now. But, their experience also means that they can hopefully get Buck through this together.

“It does, at first,” Athena says, “But I promise, it’ll pass.”

Athena soon has to go back to her shift, while Bobby, Hen, Chim, Eddie and Buck finish theirs. Bobby waits, and sees Hen and Chim head home, but when Eddie and Buck don’t emerge from the locker room, Bobby goes to check on them.

He finds them sitting on the locker room bench, Buck with his head in his hands, and Eddie with his arm around him, talking to him quietly.

“You know how I used to come to see you sometimes after I’d had a bad shift, and you were there for me?” Eddie is saying, “Well now it’s my turn to be that for you, if you need it. You can talk to me. Or we can sit and not talk at all. We can spend the evening watching movies with Christopher, alright? Anything you want. I can drive you back to the loft if you need the space to…”

“No!” Buck interrupts, his hand flexing on Eddie’s thigh like he wants to stop him leaving at just the suggestion, “No, I don’t…I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

“And you won’t be,” Eddie promises.

Bobby knocks on the door. “Eddie, do you mind if I have a word with Buck?”

Eddie looks at Buck, and when Buck nods and takes his hand off Eddie’s thigh, Eddie stands, bends to press a kiss to Buck’s temple – the first show of PDA Bobby has ever seen Eddie make to Buck while at work – and leaves them to it, smiling thankfully at Bobby as he passes him.

Bobby’s surprised when it’s Buck that speaks first.

“You know, I once put in to be a Navy SEAL,” Buck says.

“I didn’t know you were in the Navy,” Bobby replies, mentally adding it to the long list of Buck’s past jobs.

“I wasn’t,” Buck said, “You don’t have to be in the Navy to try out for the SEALs. You just have to be particularly badass, which you know…I am,” Buck sends him a jokey little grin that doesn’t reach his eyes, “I didn’t have any trouble with the physical part. Following orders wasn’t my best quality, but hey, I was working on it.”

“Why didn’t it stick?” Bobby asks, sitting down on the bench beside him.

“They wanted machines. People who could flip a switch in their head and turn off every natural, human instinctive emotion in their body and I can’t. I don’t, I don’t want to do that. At first, I just wanted to be the tough guy, you know? And I guess I get to do that here, too. But I love this job because I also get to help people.” Buck sighs miserably. He glances at Bobby. “Do you remember the first person you lost?”

It’s Bobby’s turn to sigh, then. It all comes back to him immediately, like he's looking at a photograph, or a piece of footage that he's seen replayed again and again and again. It hurts to remember, but he also knows how much this will help Buck; to know he's not alone. “Katherine Vance. 32 years old, blonde hair, green eyes. She was wearing a blue University of Michigan t-shirt, white shorts and she had on black Converse High Tops. She had painted smiley faces on the toes. Last thing she said to me was ‘please’, and then she was gone. Hit by a drunk driver; I couldn’t extract her in time." He looks at Buck, who is watching him wide-eyed at the detail Bobby can recall from that day. "I’m glad you can’t…flip that switch," Bobby tells him, "I don’t want you to. It’s not going to make you a better firefighter. And anybody who tells you that losing someone doesn’t affect them is lying.”

“So, Hen and Chim remember theirs? And Eddie? Did he go through this when he started?”

“We’ve all dealt with it,” Bobby says, “Eddie didn’t so much when he started here, but I have little doubt he’ll have someone from his first tour in Afghanistan branded in his mind. He might tell you about it if you asked him. Just know you can talk to me, Eddie, Hen, Chim, Athena; anyone you need to. And if you don’t want to talk to any of us, we have people in the department who help us deal with this kind of stuff, and I can get you the name and number of a trauma counsellor. I know it’s not Eddie’s favourite thing, but it might help you. So long as you talk to someone, ok?”

“Ok, Bobby,” Buck sends him a small smile. “Thanks.”

***

Buck is quiet during the ride home. Eddie reaches over the gear stick to take his hand, offering silent support.

Eddie had texted ahead, so Carla and Christopher aren't waiting for them when they arrive back at the house. The first thing he does when he gets through the doorway is to turn around and hold his arms out for Buck, who is trailing behind him. “Come here,” Eddie says.

Buck shuffles right into Eddie’s arms, tucking his face into Eddie’s shoulder, and takes a breath so shaky that his whole body shudders with it. Eddie shushes him, like he used to with Christopher after a nightmare, carding his hand through Buck’s hair. Buck’s hands fist into the back of Eddie’s t-shirt as he clings to him.

“He wouldn’t take my hand. All he had to do was grab my hand, and I couldn’t get him to.”

“Maybe he couldn’t,” Eddie says softly, “Maybe he was too paralyzed by fear, or confused. But I’ve also seen people who actually take those moments as opportunities to make that decision; they decide that they don’t want to be saved. But it’s not for me to say what was going through his mind. You, though,” he encourages Buck to move back so he can look him in the eyes. Buck’s blue eyes are shiny and red-rimmed, and it breaks Eddie’s heart. “I know that you did everything you possibly could up there, Buck. Because I was there. There was nothing more you could have done. Please don’t blame yourself.”

Buck sniffs and sends Eddie a watery, thankful smile, rubbing at his eye with his sleeve. “Where’s uh…where’s Christopher?”

“I think Carla’s with him in the garden. You ready to go say hi?”

Buck scrubs at his face a bit more. “Yeah,” he says, “And what you said earlier about a…a movie night? That sounds good.”

Eddie smiles and cups Buck’s cheek in his hand so he can press a kiss to the other. “Ok,” Eddie says.

Carla stays a little later than usual, and her warm presence and the mutual fondness she and Buck have for each other helps brighten him significantly. When Carla goes home, Eddie gets himself, Buck and Christopher situated on the couch; Christopher sitting between them. Buck looks increasingly better as the night goes on, but when they put Christopher to bed and head to Eddie’s room, Buck’s deflated again, just a little.

“Here,” Eddie says, and Buck allows him to manoeuvre him until Buck is on his side, and Eddie is spooned behind him, arm secure around Buck’s waist, their hands woven together. “I got you, Buck,” Eddie promises, pressing a kiss to the top of Buck’s spine, “I’ve got you.”

“Thanks Eddie,” Buck whispers. His hand squeezes Eddie’s and he doesn’t let go.

***

Buck can’t remember the last time he cried this much. After the tsunami, maybe, or when his leg was crushed. All he knows, is that the pillow under his face is wet with tears. He isn’t even sure how long he’s been here.

He should never have gone to the funeral. He’d wanted to pay his respects to Devon. He felt like he owed it to Devon and his family to be there. But a small part of him also hoped that it might help him find some closure.

He loves his job; he loves it so much. It’s the one he’s been waiting for all his life. The job that's been waiting for him at the end of the long path of jobs Buck's had. He knows it. He knows he belongs in that uniform, with the 118. He loves helping people. But the fear that his first loss on the job has caused has been affecting him for a week now. He’s seen people die before; in the pile up, in the earthquake, in the tsunami, but those times, he had never been the person whose job it was to save their lives. He had never been directly responsible, and therefore guilty, for their loss. He's felt guilty to have survived when others haven't, but he hasn't blamed himself for their deaths.

He’s been dodging doing certain jobs on certain calls since that night at the theme park. He hasn’t been shirking his duties; just suggests that Chim should go down on the line this time, or that Eddie can go first, or that he can do that instead - just switches with the others so he’s not directly in the action and therefore not directly responsible. He did it just today; a window cleaner’s rig had broken, leaving him hanging upside down halfway up a high-rise. Bobby had ordered Buck to go up the ladder and reach the window cleaner while Bobby went to the roof to secure the cable. Before Bobby could leave, Buck had panicked and shouted him back, suggesting that he should go up to the roof to secure the cable instead because he could get there quicker. Bobby had said it was a good idea, but the way he’d said it…Bobby knew exactly what Buck was doing. Of course he did.

Buck knew he had let Bobby down, and had said as much later, when Bobby came and found him in the firehouse. Bobby had been understanding, and Buck’s not used to that. He’s used to disappointment, not understanding.

Especially not when he’s been so obvious about his apprehensions on jobs this week that it’s not just Bobby that’s noticed; the others have too. They’ve seen that Buck is so obviously failing.

Failing.

That’s what Devon’s sister had said at the funeral. She had asked Buck what had happened, but the moment Buck’s explanation remotely implied that Devon had given up on trying to grab Buck’s hand, it had all gotten so much worse. Buck had gone to the funeral to pay respect, for closure, but had left with Devon’s sister's blame and her words hanging heavy on his shoulders – “You failed him.”

“Buck?” Eddie’s voice floats up from the bottom of the stairs. He's let himself into the loft. “Buck are you here?”

“M’here,” Buck’s reply is muffled into the pillow, but Eddie must hear it because he’s already heading up the stairs to Buck’s bedroom.

“You weren’t answering your phone and I was worr…” Eddie stops, because he must take Buck in; lying face down on the bed in his suit pants and shirt, his suit jacket thrown off somewhere. “You went to the funeral,” Eddie states. It’s not a question. Buck hadn’t told Eddie he was going; Buck hadn’t been sure himself until about an hour before it started. But it’s not hard for Eddie to put the pieces together.

Eddie doesn’t ask him what happened at the funeral, and Buck’s glad, because he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to talk about it right now without having a full-on break down. Eddie does what Eddie does so well; offers quiet, tactile support. He just climbs onto the bed next to Buck and lies on his back. Buck moves immediately, wrapping his arms around Eddie’s waist and laying his head on Eddie’s chest; escaping the damp pillow. Buck breathes in, breathes in Eddie, and feels his heartbeat under his cheek. Eddie strokes his fingers through Buck’s hair.

“Whatever happened,” Eddie says, with fierce firmness, “It is not your fault.”

***

The breakthrough in Buck letting go of his first loss comes two days later. They are called out to a couple whose argument has spun so far out of control that the boyfriend is standing on the edge of one balcony, yelling at his girlfriend on the other balcony; yelling that she’s cheated on him. If Bobby had a dollar for every call he's attended relating to a lovers' spat that has spiralled out of control, he'd be able to retire from attending calls relating to lovers' spats that have spiralled out of control.

“We’re going to have to do The Manoeuvre,” Bobby decides, as they look up at them from the sidewalk, “Buck…”

“Oh, Bobby,” Buck stammers, “No, I…”

“Yes,” Bobby interjects.

During Buck’s first couple of months, he had been so keen to get stuck in, be close to the action. Bobby knows how much Buck loved it. And Buck’s good at it too; his experience at many an accident and emergency over the years has actually given him an incredibly level head in high stakes and high-pressure situations. But over the week since the theme park and Buck’s first direct loss, Bobby knows Buck has been avoiding being directly in the action, and he also knows that the only way Buck is going to get through it, is by getting back on the horse.

“I’ll do it,” Chim offers.

“No, Buck’s got this,” Bobby says. He looks at Buck and tells him reassuringly, “You got this.”

“I’ll go up with Buck,” Eddie says, “Man the line.”

“Good idea,” Bobby agrees.

Eddie nods at Bobby in agreement and thanks as Buck turns to grab the equipment they need.

***

Buck and Eddie go up to the roof. While Bobby distracts the man from the balcony the man’s girlfriend is on, Eddie helps buckle Buck into the harness several floors above them.

“Bobby’s right,” Eddie says, glancing up from the straps he's securing, “You’ve got this.”

Buck swallows, nods, and prepares himself to do his job. Buck stands on the edge of the roof, ready for Eddie to winch him down.

“Kiss for luck?” Buck asks.

“You don’t need luck,” Eddie tells him, but kisses him anyway.

Buck lowers himself down from the roof until he’s positioned just above the balcony the man is standing on. Buck waits for Bobby’s signal, before swinging down and kicking the man in the chest, sending him flying back into the apartment.

As soon as it’s over, Buck feels that same rush of saving someone’s life, and the thrill of the action, that he loved so much before the rollercoaster. Although he’s been avoiding being directly in the action for a week, he realises how much he’s missed it. He still hasn’t forgiven himself for Devon; he knows that will take time, but he feels like he’s regained some of his confidence.

He finds Eddie waiting for him on the stairs. He reaches out and squeezes Buck’s arm.

“I’m proud of you, Buck,” Eddie says.

Buck darts in to kiss him before anyone comes across two firefighters kissing on the job. “Thank you. For having my back.”

“Always,” Eddie says, like it’s that easy.

Which, it really is when it comes down to it. Eddie will always have Buck’s back, and Buck will always have Eddie’s.

When they get back to the station, Buck stops Bobby by the trucks. “Hey, Bobby, thanks for pushing me back there. I think my confidence took a bit of a knock, and I know I’ve not been great this last week but…”

“But you bounced back,” Bobby said, “And saved a man’s life. You did good, Buck.”

Buck smiles, grateful for the praise, but then his eyes catch on someone by the firehouse entrance. He freezes when he recognises Devon’s sister.

Eddie must realise who it is, because he checks quietly, “You ok?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Buck says, “I…I’d best go talk to her.”

***

They’re all waiting but pretending not to wait for Buck to finish talking to Devon’s sister. Bobby hopes the conversation is going well; Buck’s just seen the light at the end of the tunnel, and Bobby doesn’t want to see him slip backwards into uncertainty again.

The door opens. Devon’s sister leaves first, and Buck comes out a minute or so later, looking sad but – Bobby is relieved to see – like a little more of the weight has been lifted.

“Everything alright?” Eddie asks for them all.

Buck nods. “Yeah, it’s…I think it’s going to be alright.”

Bobby sighs in relief.

Later he watches, heartened, as Buck and Eddie leave the station together, and Eddie actually sets Buck off laughing. Bobby had missed the sound of that laugh over the last week.

Bobby knows from personal experience that working past the first losses in the job isn’t immediate, and it’s not easy, but he’s glad to see Buck improving as the days and weeks go on. Buck has defeated the first hurdle all who wear a uniform have to fight through, and it does get easier with time and experience.

But Bobby knows there will be an inevitable second hurdle that will come their way at some point. As seamlessly as Buck and Eddie work together as partners, there will inevitably come a day in which either Buck or Eddie will be put in danger on a call, and Bobby has no idea what will happen the day that it does. He has no idea how Buck, or Eddie for that matter, might react. But it's something Bobby knows he’s going to have to be prepared to handle when it comes.

Bobby hopes it will be a long, long time until he is forced to find that out.

He finds out the day Eddie gets buried alive under 40 feet of mud.

Chapter Text

There’s dried mud under Buck’s nails.

He’d scrubbed his hands as clean as he could, but there’s still dirt there, buried deep. He curls his fingers further around the steering wheel he’s got in a vice-like grip, so he can’t see them anymore. He’s already got half his attention on Eddie asleep in the passenger seat, so he can’t afford to get distracted from keeping the rest of his attention on the road. He almost lost Eddie tonight; he’ll be damned if he’s going to let that happen again.

He keeps glancing from the traffic to Eddie, slumped in his seat in a position that looks uncomfortable, but Eddie’s so deeply asleep it doesn’t seem to be bothering him. He must be exhausted. It must have been one hell of a fight to the surface. Buck’s throat tightens and he swallows thickly against the wave of emotion; a resurgence of the postponed panic and desperation and terror that had been pushed aside the moment Eddie stumbled cold and shattered into the crowd of people; crashing his own rescue party.

While they had all been standing around making plans to save him, Eddie had saved himself.

From under 40 feet of earth, mud and water.

It had been bad enough Eddie going down there alone, and cutting his line, but then the lightning had struck and everything had gone to hell. Eddie had got the kid out, but had been buried alive. Buck doesn’t actually remember much from when it first happened. He’d knocked Bobby out the way, and found the well collapsed, and he remembers clawing at the sodden mud, screaming Eddie’s name as he tried to dig down to him, and breaking down in Bobby’s arms after Bobby pulled him back, but he was so blinded by dread, fear and adrenaline that it seems far away now, somehow, like it’s blurred, like Buck’s mind hadn’t clearly registered the memory because it was focused so deep underground with Eddie.

He remembers what came afterwards; demanding to know the plan of action, frustrated at nobody seeming to move quickly enough to act or allow him to act; to dig by hand. He would have dug by hand. Every inch of earth it took to get to Eddie. ‘So we can end up with two cut lines?’ is what Hen had argued when Eddie had first cut his line to get more time and Buck had wanted to go down to help. Would he? Would he have cut his line too? If it meant reaching Hayden, if it meant not leaving Eddie down there alone? Yes. He knew it. They all knew it. He absolutely would. Which is why they didn’t let him.

He remembered the moment he voiced aloud his fears that they all thought Eddie was already dead; that they were planning a recovery mission rather than a rescue mission. He had thought about Christopher, and Eddie, and his throat had felt so tight he could hardly swallow. The thought of Eddie’s body crushed under all that mud, or Eddie alone, trapped, cold, injured, in immediate danger, or dying, and nobody working fast enough to help him. God, had Buck wished he had been down there instead of Eddie. Not two cut lines, just one; his, instead. Because Buck doesn’t have a son waiting at home; a son who would be told his dad wasn’t coming home.

But Eddie’s here now, next to him in the car, asleep still as Buck pulls up outside Eddie’s house.

“Eddie?” Buck murmurs, placing a soft hand on Eddie’s thigh.

Eddie startles, jerking awake, gasping in a long breath, his eyes darting around as he registers where he is.

“You’re alright,” Buck promises, “You’re home. I’ve just parked up.”

Eddie’s hand tangles with Buck’s on his thigh, and his gaze settles on him, taking in his face.

“Thanks Buck,” Eddie says softly. His voice sounds raw; from the shouting, cold water or dirt, Buck isn’t sure. Eddie’s been checked over at the hospital and cleared to come home, but Buck’s worried his boyfriend has argued his way out too fast.

Eddie staggers as he climbs out the car, and Buck rushes around to the passenger side to wrap his arm around Eddie’s waist. It’s testament to how tired Eddie is that he doesn’t even complain about Buck’s mother-henning or fretting about his ability to walk to the house alone.

Carla meets them at the door. Her eyes find Eddie first and she draws him into a motherly hug.

“How you doing, hun?”

Eddie’s head barely nods before he asks “Christopher?”

“In bed,” she tells him.

Eddie nods properly this time, and the moment Carla lets him go, Eddie’s heading straight to Christopher’s room.

Buck knows Carla’s attention will turn on him next, so he evades by swerving towards the kitchen before she stops watching Eddie.

“He’ll be starving,” Buck says, because god knows how much energy and adrenaline Eddie’s burned through tonight; Buck’s exhausted and hungry and he had barely done anything…

“Buck?” Carla’s followed him into the kitchen, “How are you holding up?”

“Me?” Buck repeats with a strangled laugh, opening the fridge door and relieved to find some leftover takeout pizza, so he won’t have to cook at least. “I wasn’t the one trapped forty feet underground.”

“Buck, baby, look at me?” Carla urges.

Buck doesn’t fight her when she physically turns him around and lifts his head up with gentle fingers under his chin. Buck glances up at her and his eyes catch on her gaze; full of concern for him. Buck can’t help how his face crumples.

“Oh, come here, baby, come on.” She draws him into a hug.

“I couldn’t do anything, Carla,” he confesses tearfully into her shoulder. “We were standing around organising a rescue while Eddie was saving himself. If we’d carried on at the pace we were and Eddie couldn’t…he would have drowned.”

The thought was horrifying. The thought of Eddie alone in the dark and the mud, as the freezing water rose around him, with no way of escape, thinking no-one was coming for him…

“But he didn’t,” Carla tells him firmly, “He got out.”

“Yeah,” Buck sniffs, wiping his eyes with his sleeve as he pulls back, “Because of his own quick-thinking. His own level-headedness…”

Buck thinks of how he himself broke down completely and clawed handfuls of mud, trying to nonsensically dig down all alone, like he could have achieved that. Like he could have got to Eddie that way, in time. But Eddie, who is smart and strong, stubborn and determined, he fought his way out.

“I wish I could have done more,” Buck says, “So he didn’t have to face that alone.”

“And I’m sure Eddie’s thought the same thing about you more than once,” Carla reasons.

She’s right. Buck thinks of Eddie drowning and thinks of his own close-call with the force of water. The crashing, churning current of the tsunami, ripping Christopher from his grip… Eddie’s face when he saw Christopher alive, when he saw Buck…

“I know,” Buck deflates, “I know, but I just…” He busies himself getting the cold pizza out the fridge. “I haven’t seen Eddie in that kind of danger before and I…”

He trails off before he says ‘I wish it had been me and not him’, because he knows Carla wouldn’t like hearing it. But that’s the truth. As much as Buck loves Christopher, as much as Buck is the closest thing Christopher has to a second parent, Christopher is not actually Buck’s son, and if it had meant Eddie being safe, Christopher having his dad, then Buck would have switched places in a heartbeat.

The thought of Eddie and Christopher has Buck turning to look to the hallway to Christopher’s room; Eddie’s still in there, and Buck suddenly needs nothing more than to check on them. Carla must follow his train of thought, because she squeezes his arm.

“You go check on them. I’ll let myself out, ok?”

Buck thanks her, and is grateful for another hug before Carla heads out and Buck gravitates towards Eddie and Christopher. The door is open, but Buck lingers in the doorway, looking in at Eddie curled up beside Christopher on the bed, his arms wrapped round him, the pair of them murmuring to each other. Buck considers leaving them to it; he’s seen they’re ok now, and doesn’t want to disturb them.

But before he can, he hears Christopher’s sleepy voice, “Buck!”

“Hey,” Buck says from the doorway, “Hey Christopher.”

“Dad says work was hard today.”

Buck’s gaze flicks to Eddie, who has turned to look at him through the dimness of the room. Eddie’s eyes are soft and imploring, and Buck knows if Eddie is going to sit Christopher down and actually talk around what happened, it’s not going to happen right now, while Christopher is half asleep and everything is still so fresh and raw for Eddie and Buck.

“Yeah,” Buck replies, his voice rough as he looks from Eddie to Christopher. “Yeah, work was hard today.”

It’s the understatement of the century, but it’s what Eddie wants. What he needs. And Buck isn’t going to break down crying in the middle of Christopher’s bedroom so long as Eddie is alive and right there before him.

Eddie, alive and right there before him, and holding his hand out to Buck from Christopher’s bed, inviting him to join them in the Diaz Cuddle, because Christopher just frowned sleepily at Buck and asked “Buck? Do you need a hug too?”

Buck shuffles forward, wanting that hug from the Diaz boys more than anything, but uncertain quite how a second full grown man is supposed to also be fitting in a child’s single bed. But then Eddie grabs hold of Buck’s hand like it’s a lifeline – like Buck is the thing keeping him from being pulled under forty feet of earth and water – and Buck’s powerless from there. He just lets himself be manhandled until he’s sitting against the headboard, one arm around a sleepy, snuggly Christopher, and his other arm still captured by Eddie, who is half in Buck’s lap and half wrapped around Christopher.

“Do you feel better now Buck?” Christopher mumbles into Buck’s shoulder.

Buck isn’t the one who should be needing to be made to feel better. But Eddie silently squeezes Buck’s hand and Buck answers honestly.

“Much better,” he says, “Thanks Christopher.”

He and Eddie extract themselves eventually; letting Christopher get back to a proper sleep since he has school in the morning. Eddie promises Christopher he’s still going to come to Christopher’s show and tell with his silver star.

Eddie’s practically asleep on his feet, so Buck leads him by the hand down the hall to the kitchen, and has to encourage him to eat some of the pizza.

“You need to restore some energy!”

Eddie eyes the pizza in a way that clearly communicates how much useful energy he thinks he’s going to get from slices of pizza, but surprisingly he does as he’s told. He eats robotically and chews obediently but his eyes and mind are elsewhere, and Buck is pretty sure he isn’t actually tasting it. That’s probably for the best, because every bite Buck’s taking tastes like mud.

Buck’s looking forward to brushing his teeth, and taking a shower. He’s cleaned up already, but he still feels caked in phantom dirt and the scent of the hospital.

He approaches Eddie slowly, because Eddie’s got this look in his eyes that is faraway and likely far underground.

“Hey Eddie?” he asks softly.

Eddie hums in response.

“Do you want a shower before bed?” Buck asks.

Eddie’s gaze clears and sharpens as he focuses on Buck, and he’s alert again. “Yeah,” he says, and Buck catches the shiver that runs through Eddie’s body. “Yeah. I do.”

“You still cold?” Buck asks worriedly.

Eddie shakes his head. “No. But a hot shower would be good.”

“Then let’s get you one.”

When they get to the bathroom, Eddie starts shrugging methodically out of his clothes. Buck doesn’t want to look like he’s hovering, so leans back against the sink and inspects his nails. It’s a bad decision. He resees the dirt wedged underneath them and starts picking at them frantically. He gouges too deep under one nail with another and hisses between his teeth.

“Buck,” Eddie’s voice snaps him back into the room.

Buck looks up and finds Eddie naked and half-stepped into the shower, looking back at him with concern. Eddie’s eyes glance from Buck’s face to his hands and up again. Buck sees the ‘you ok?’ question form and pass over Eddie’s face, and he knows why Eddie doesn’t bother asking it. Because he knows the answer is ‘no’. So instead, Eddie holds out his hand.

“You joining me or not?” Eddie asks, faux-impatiently.

Still, it gets Buck moving, so that he can take Eddie’s hand and be led into the shower. Eddie doesn’t focus on washing away the feeling of the mud and dirty water he got buried in and swam through. No. Instead he takes Buck’s hands in his own and inspects them, grabs some soap and steps back until the strongest stream of water from the showerhead is between them; their hands under the spray, and then focuses on gently cleaning Buck’s fingers. His touch is medically precise, but so gentle, and Buck gets overwhelmed for a moment. This is what Eddie does. He goes through something, but he internalises his own trauma and focuses his care on those around him – on Christopher, on Buck – so that he doesn’t have to focus on caring for himself.

But Buck has also seen what happens when Eddie internalises until eventually his emotions have nowhere to go but an unhealthy burst outward. So once Eddie realises Buck’s hands – his nails now blessedly mud-free – Buck takes over.

“Your turn,” he demands, and encourages Eddie under the spray to get properly clean.

Eddie rolls his eyes at first, and humours him, but to Buck’s surprise, the mask doesn’t stay in place for long. Eddie’s closing his eyes and dropping his head forward until his forehead is resting against Buck’s shoulder. Buck wraps one arm around Eddie’s waist, and lifts the other to massage his fingers into Eddie’s hair.

“You ok?”

Eddie nods against Buck’s shoulder, and his hands come up to hold tightly around Buck’s middle, like Buck’s keeping him anchored – or afloat.

“Do you uhh…do you want to talk about it?”

Eddie shakes his head and pulls back enough to look Buck in the eye. “Not…not tonight. I just want to go to bed.”

“Ok. Sure. Yeah, you must be exhausted, fighting your way out of that all by yourself…let me grab you a towel and we…” Buck starts to move with the intention of getting out the shower, but Eddie’s grip on Buck tightens again so Buck looks at him.

“Hey,” Eddie says, his tired brown eyes searching Buck’s face. “Of course I fought. I’m always gonna fight to come home to my family.”

Buck makes a very undignified noise as he crashes into Eddie to kiss him. He thinks under the circumstances he can be forgiven (and all undignified noises forgotten). Eddie seems to agree, as he clutches at Buck and kisses him back like Buck’s that first breath of fresh air he took after swimming to the surface.

*

Eddie feels like he can breathe again. He’s home. The home he fought to come back to. The family he fought to come back to. He’s held his son. He’s cleaned Buck’s hands.

In one of the rare brief moments Buck’s actually left Eddie’s side since the rescue, Eddie had been left with Bobby. Bobby had ordered Eddie to take extra care and vigilance of himself and his health in the coming days – his tone had threatened the kind of grief he and their 118 family would give Eddie if he didn’t – and then Bobby had paused before asking Eddie for something else too; to keep an eye on Buck as well. He had told him of Buck digging down into the dirt with his bare hands. Eddie’s chest, already tight and tired with cold and exertion, had taken an extra blow of his heart breaking a little at hearing it. When Buck had returned, Eddie had slid his fingers through Buck’s and silently sworn to himself that he’d make it right when they were home.

He has done as he vowed, but judging from the way Buck’s looked at him all evening, and the desperation with which Buck’s kissing him now, Eddie’s going to have to do more to prove he isn’t going anywhere.

Buck’s had a tough couple of weeks. Maddie got taken hostage with her shift of dispatchers, and Buck and Chim were sent out of their minds with worry. And then Eddie got buried underground.

Eddie pulls Buck in closer. And ok, maybe Eddie needs this too.

Eddie’s always been good in a crisis. He doesn’t panic. But damn was he terrified shouting down that radio to no response, thinking no-one would know he was still alive, the water rising by the second…

He suddenly doesn’t want to be in the shower anymore. He lets go of Buck reluctantly. Buck looks a little kiss-drunk but regains focus fast, shutting off the shower and grabbing towels without a word.

Eddie’s thoughts race, but it’s not until they are safely in bed together, lying side-by-side with the lights off, that Eddie lets any of them become audible.

“I thought of you, and Christopher, the 118, my family,” Eddie says, “It kept me fighting.”

Buck holds onto him, arm securing around his middle, his head on Eddie’s chest. Buck needs to feel Eddie’s heartbeat, and Eddie needs to feel grounded, not underground.

“I’m ok, Buck,” Eddie says, stroking his fingers through Buck’s hair – an action that is soothing for both him and Buck – “I’m here.”

And in the night, when Eddie wakes up gasping for air, lungs burning and his mouth filled with phantom dirt and water, half-thinking he didn’t make it after all and everything afterwards was just one of those surges of euphoria everyone says you’re supposed to get before you drown, Buck soothes him just the same, and promises him just the same.

“You’re ok, Eddie,” Buck tells him, “You’re ok. I’m here. I’ve got you.”

***

At first, Eddie doesn’t know how to react to meeting Abby at the train crash. He doesn’t know how to react to Buck meeting Abby at the train crash.

When Eddie first tries to help her, he has no idea who she is, of course. And Buck, of course, has no idea Abby is going to be there. And she, of course, has no idea Buck’s a firefighter now. Eddie sees the moment everything collides. Abby’s eyes widen at recognising Buck and vice versa. The moment Buck says her name, and Abby says his, Eddie puts it together.

Oh. This is Abby. That Abby.

The Abby that broke Buck’s heart. The heart that Eddie now cherishes.

But Eddie is not a man to hold grudges against people he’s never actually met…

Buck looks shocked and uncertain; a young expression, a reflection of the kid in his early twenties who was so new to LA, moving from job to job, without steadfast friends or family – Maddie still out of contact because of Doug – who truly fell in love for the first time and then was left behind with no further word. Left more adrift than ever. A ghost in the home of a woman who never told him she wasn’t coming back.

Ok, apparently Eddie absolutely can hold a grudge against somebody he’s never actually met.

And he can do better than that. He can hold grudges enough for both him and Buck, if needs be.

He does his grudging silently though, because professionalism, and all that. He steps back, sussing things out and taking Buck’s lead in trying to encourage Abby to get checked out at the ambulances while Abby tries to fight her way back to the train cars.

“I’m trying to find somebody!” she screams at Buck, wild with panic.

“Ok…ok well, just tell us who. We’re going…”

“My fiancé! He fell asleep and I went to the bar car.”

Eddie looks to Buck, hoping the revelation of Abby having a fiancé hasn’t crushed him, because Eddie gets the feeling Abby moved on long before Buck ever did and ever could, because Abby never actually told him it was over. She didn’t give Buck the same thought, courtesy and loyalty Buck gave to her. Eddie wouldn’t blame Buck for being a little upset, since Eddie’s grudge may be growing teeth. And a vendetta.

But Buck doesn’t react, they take the description of her fiancé, and when Eddie squeezes Buck’s shoulder as he passes him to head to the train car, Buck looks at him the way he always looks Eddie, and Eddie knows he doesn’t have to worry about Buck…for all the remarkably short time it takes for Buck to prove that Eddie was, in fact, wrong, and he should, in fact, have been worried about Buck. Worried about Buck making promises they might not be able to keep.

Buck being Buck, promises Abby they are going to save her fiancé.

“Abby, his fiancée’s Abby,” Eddie tells Bobby angrily later on.

“I just want to make sure Abby gets her happily ever after!” Buck calls after him as Eddie clambers ungracefully out of the train car. Because it’s not at an angle he can gracefully storm out of. Unfortunately. “Like I got mine!”

And yeah, maybe he does give in to Buck’s crazy potentially-life-threatening plan, because Buck’s so goddamn earnest and says nice things, but Eddie’s going after Abby’s happily ever after if Buck sacrifices theirs for hers, is all Eddie’s saying.

*

He needn’t have worried, because Buck is Buck and they save Sam Egan. Just like Buck promised.

“Hey!” Sam calls out to Buck from the gurney as he’s wheeled towards the ambulance. “Hey, man, thank you!”

“Buck, thank you,” Abby gratefully adds.

Eddie sees Sam twig. So, Sam must know about Buck just like Eddie knows about Abby.

“You’re Buck?” Sam asks.

“Good to meet you, Sam,” is all Buck says, genuinely, and with a smile.

Eddie’s so filled with love for him. He steps up beside him. They’re at work, at an emergency, so he can’t hold Buck like he wants. But he squeezes Buck’s wrist. Buck looks at him and his smile turns grateful to see Eddie there, and Buck twists his wrist until it’s his hand Eddie’s holding instead. Eddie feels Buck squeeze his fingers through their gloves.

Eddie looks back as the ambulance doors are being shut. He’s surprised that Abby’s looking back at them from where she’s sitting beside Sam. There is realisation in her eyes and Eddie knows she’s seen. She’s seen their hands, and the way Buck looks at Eddie, and the way Eddie looks right back. Her gaze moves, and Eddie feels Buck shift beside him, as Buck and Abby make eye contact and she nods in thanks before the ambulance drives away.

Eddie looks back up at Buck.

“You ok?” he asks.

“Yeah, yeah I am,” Buck says, and Eddie knows Buck means it. He squeezes Eddie’s hand again before he lets go. “What’s next?”

***

Buck sits on a park bench waiting for Abby. She’s asked to meet him. Eddie offered to come with him, and Buck was grateful but assured Eddie that he could handle it. Eddie has to make sure Christopher’s all packed to leave for summer camp tomorrow, since they have May’s graduation party tonight.

His mind wanders, and ends up back on a joke Chim had made the day after the train crash.

“Man, it’s been some couple of months. Maddie’s hostage situation, Eddie down the well, Athena’s attack, Abby in the train crash…” Chim had looked at Buck, “You sure your bad luck hasn’t been rubbing off on everyone else, Buck?”

Buck had shaken his head with a wry grin at the dark humour, but then he had actually thought about it, and he hadn’t been in an accident or emergency that hadn’t been a work call for months. Months! The longest he’d gone in years without being some kind of bystander, patient, or victim in an emergency situation. But Chim had a point. While Buck hadn’t been in danger, everyone around him…

“Oh my god,” Buck had exclaimed, “Do you think…”

“I was joking, Buck,” Chim cut him off quickly; clearly realising his mistake in rousing Buck’s superstitions.

“But…” Buck protested, “When I first met Eddie he was never in danger! But since I’ve become a firefighter…”

“That’s just because you’re seeing him at work for the first time,” Chim corrected him firmly. “You should have seen him take a grenade out a man’s leg his first week on the job; could have blown himself to bits. Or the spider-man routine he once performed on a burning house; went in against orders and saved a kid by taking cover from an explosion in a bathtub…point is, Eddie gets himself in plenty of these situations himself. We all do. It’s part of the job. Buck. I swear I was joking. Your bad luck isn’t being shared around. Maybe it’s just gone?”

Buck thinks about it now, on the bench in the park, and wonders maybe his bad luck has turned good at last. He has been very lucky recently. Very lucky that his family and friends made it out of those recent incidents alive. He has felt lucky in finding Eddie, in being welcomed into the 118. He’s feeling pretty lucky.

“Hi.”

Buck startles, but turns to smile at Abby. “Hey.”

“Thanks for meeting me,” Abby says as she sits down.

“No problem. How’s Sam?”

“He’s good. They’re expecting a full recovery.”

“Good. He seems like a great guy.” Buck had been able to tell – even injured as Sam had been – that Sam was a good person, a kind person.

“He said the same thing about you,” she smiles, but sobers fast. “I will never be able to thank you enough for what you did.”

Buck shrugs, “Just doing my job, that’s all.”

“Yeah, about that,” Abby says, “who knew the guy I got to know because he kept getting himself into situations where he needed to call 9-1-1 would end up intentionally going to emergencies?”

“Thought I might as well get paid for it,” Buck quips.

They sit in silence for a while. It isn’t as comfortable a silence as it used to be. But then, a lot has changed. Buck has changed. When he first met Abby he had been a kid in his early twenties not intending on getting into his first real relationship with an older woman, but her voice had been nice and calming when he’d called 9-1-1 the first time, the second time, the third time…and then they had met by total coincidence and Buck had figured it fate. She had been the first and only woman he ever truly loved, although now, having been with Eddie, having loved Eddie, Buck knows what he and Abby had had barely been fledging, if it would have ever found wings at all. He was glad now that Abby had flown away. But Buck’s still disappointed in himself that he waited for her to come back for as long as he did.

“I know it was a…dramatic way to see each other again after all this time,” Abby says, “I had actually wanted to talk to you about everything while I was in town.”

Buck’s laugh surprises them both. “You wanted to explain everything while you were in town…now? Wouldn’t a phone call when you decided you weren’t coming back have done the job? You know, years ago? I waited months…a stupidly long time for you to come back. I needed an explanation then, when you were in Morocco, or Paris, or Dublin.” A thought occurs to him. “Or did you know when we were at the airport and I was kissing you goodbye and promising you that I would wait for you?” Buck feels justified that Abby looks guilty about how she had handled it, which, you know, she should. “You could have told me then. Saved me waiting. I needed the explanation then. I don’t really need it now. A lot’s changed since then.”

“For the better, I can tell,” Abby says, then laughs at Buck’s affronted expression. “I’m not talking about me! I’m talking about you! I remember a young man drifting from job to job and emergency to emergency, trying to find his place. But here you are, in a job you clearly love, and are clearly made for; my fiancé can attest to that. You’ve done what you always wanted; made a life for yourself. You seem happier, brighter. And I imagine some of that happiness is due to your partner? The firefighter I met at the accident?”

Buck nods. He’d figured she’d picked up on him and Eddie at the crash. “Eddie. He’s…he’s amazing.”

“How long have you been together?”

“A year, but we were friends before that.”

“How did you meet?”

“He was one of the firefighters that saved me from the earthquake that hit LA a couple of years ago.”

Abby shakes her head with an exasperated grin. “I should have known! I should have known you were in the middle of it! When I saw the reports I…” She trails off.

Because she could have checked in with Buck. And she didn’t.

Buck has a choice now. To make Abby feel worse or let bygones be bygones. Maybe if Buck hadn’t found the love of his life, he might be reacting differently. But he has. And any resentment he held towards Abby has been pushed aside to make room for additional feelings of love for Eddie and Christopher.

Speaking of which…Buck checks his watch.

“I can’t stay much longer,” he says, “We have a party tonight, and we have to make sure Christopher’s all packed for summer camp tomorrow.”

“Christopher?”

Buck tells Abby about Christopher, because Buck always wants to talk about Christopher. He also tells her about Christopher being the reason Carla is still a part of Buck’s life. They talk a little more about why Abby never came back; that she needed to leave everything she knew to remember who she actually is. The Buck of two or three years ago might have felt hurt by her explanation – that if Abby had come back to be with Buck, she might have ended up feeling like she’d lost herself again – but the Buck who has moved on, who has found a partner, a family, a place that he loves…that Buck understands. He had been lost too, when he had met Abby, and he had only found himself once she had gone, too.

“I’m glad to see you happy, Abby,” Buck says, “You deserve it.”

Abby smiles at him; warmly, fondly, and like she can also see how much he has grown and changed in her absence too. How happy and comfortable in himself he’s become. “You too, Buck.”

***

Everything’s a bit of a panic in the morning. They stayed at May’s graduation party last night way longer than Eddie planned, but they have gained some incredible memories and ridiculous prop-booth-style photos from it, so he doesn’t regret it for a second. Even as he pulls on the first sweater he finds and rushes about making sure Christopher is ready to go and that they arrive in good time for the bus to summer camp.

Eddie is kind of glad for the rush, because it means he doesn’t have the time to get too down about the fact he isn’t going to see Christopher for two weeks. It’s a good job Buck’s kept busy too, because Buck’s been more upset at the thought of Christopher away at camp than Eddie. When it was first brought up, Eddie was trying to be the supportive dad, enthusiastic for Christopher wanting to have an experience away from home with his friends, and it had been Buck worrying about Christopher being too young for two weeks away from home and potentially getting homesick. Eddie had countered that he’d brought the brochure into the firehouse so the team could make him feel better about Christopher going.

But Eddie is glad Christopher is going. He’s been so excited, it’s all he’s talked about. And Buck has warmed to the idea the more he has heard about it, and seen how much Christopher’s looked forward to spending time away with his friends on a big adventure.

Buck got so enthusiastic about it that at one point he was telling Carla about it with almost the same level of enthusiasm as Christopher.

“They even have this farm-to-fork program!” Buck had enthused to Carla.

“Yeah!” Christopher had joined in, “We’re going to pick our own veggies and cook them for dinner!”

“I thought you said it sounded a lot like child labour,” Eddie had muttered into Buck’s ear, which was exactly what Buck had said when Eddie had first told him about that aspect of the camp.

Buck had just grinned and shrugged at him sheepishly.

They get Christopher’s bags on the bus, and then stand on the sidewalk, waiting to wave goodbye. Buck’s standing at Eddie’s shoulder, and they watch as Christopher gets settled in a seat and they wave at him through the window.

Eddie hears Buck clear his throat next to him, “Um, Christopher wanted me to give you this.”

The next thing Eddie knows there’s a card in his hands. It says ‘To Dad’ on the front in Christopher’s handwriting.

He opens it and reads the message inside; ‘You are going to have a great time. Love, Christopher.’

He hears Buck huff softly in his ear, having read it over his shoulder. Trust Christopher to worry Eddie is going to be sad without him for two weeks, as much as Eddie is worrying the vice versa.

“I got one too…” Buck comments, holding up his own card for Eddie to see.

‘To Buck, Please look after Dad while I am away. Love, Christopher.’

“Guess I’m looking after you,” Buck says, like he’s very proud of being asked to perform such an important task.

Eddie snorts and nudges him with his shoulder. Christopher’s beaming at them through the bus window, having seen them open their cards. Eddie smiles back, and they both wave once more as the bus drives away. Buck’s free hand slips into the one still hanging at Eddie’s side.

“You ok?” Buck checks as the bus drives out of view.

“You looking after me already?” Eddie attempts to tease, trying not to get emotional about his kid growing up so fast as he turns to Buck.

Buck’s watching him fondly. “Well, someone’s got to,” Buck says, “Since you can’t even dress yourself in your own wardrobe.” He plucks at Eddie’s sweater. “That is mine, right?”

Eddie frowns at him, and then glances down at the red skin-tight top he’d pulled on this morning in a rush. He has one similar, but yeah, he realises this is the one Buck had been wearing yesterday. It smells like Buck. It’s actually quite comforting.

Eddie takes the bait Buck’s dangled to distract him from Christopher leaving and quirks his eyebrow.

“Maybe this was an intentional choice,” Eddie challenges, “Maybe I wanted to wear something that smells like you.”

Buck’s cheeks flush and he bites his lip in a way that’s somehow both half-coy and half-cocky, and Eddie pulls Buck in by his blue sweater to kiss him.

“Let’s go home,” Eddie decides.

He has some other ideas on how Buck can take care of him, and knows Buck will take the task just as seriously. It’s rare they get the place to themselves, and Eddie has visions of how Buck can help him take his mind off everything but Buck. Eddie wants to be laid out on the bed, with Buck covering him, kissing him in that worshipful way he does, Buck’s long fingers slow, careful, teasing…his blue eyes looking into Eddie’s like Eddie’s the only other person that exists. God, Eddie wants it. All of it. Everything Buck gives him.

Buck must see Eddie’s eyes darken, because he’s quick to quip, words thick with flirtation and anticipation, “Your place or mine?”

It takes Eddie a second – and by surprise – to remember Buck doesn’t actually live with him. With everything that has been going on recently, and with Albert now staying in Buck’s loft, Buck’s spent more nights than not at Eddie’s, and the domesticity of last night and this morning felt so right that…that Eddie almost forgot.

He’s actually been thinking of asking Buck sometime soon, if Buck would like to move in. But until then, they have their separate places.

Eddie knows he’ll feel a little weird at home for a while, with Christopher gone. He isn’t sure he wants to go back there just yet, which makes the decision for him.

“Let’s go back to yours.”

***

Before Eddie can ask Buck to move in with him and Christopher, the pandemic hits, and suddenly they need their separate places; Buck and Albert end up hosting Eddie, Chim and Hen during the lockdown while they are still working. Summer camp turned out to be good training for Eddie, because he has to get used to not seeing Christopher during those initial months. Everything changed so fast. And while some things changed for the worse, there have been a few bright moments; Maddie and Chim are expecting their first baby, and Buck passed his probationary year with the 118 and has officially become a firefighter.

And eventually, finally, things slowly begin to return to what they were before.

***

Eddie wishes technology would also return to what it was before.

This futuristic technology is too damn much. This is what all the movies have been warning everyone about for years. But have they listened? No. They’ve thought ‘AI that can think for themselves, robots that can listen, watch, remember, learn?  That’s a brilliant idea!’ And now even coffee machines are smart.

No thanks. Nope.

Not today, Hildy.

“I can’t believe you fell for it!” Christopher is still laughing.

Eddie shoots Christopher a mock glare, the Hildy coffee maker a real glare, and if Buck was here, he’d be getting a real glare too. As it is, he’s just getting a telling off.

“You took away our video games,” Buck reasons down the phone, “We had to find entertainment somewhere. Scrabble is only fun for so long.”

“You’re a bad influence.”

“You think?” Buck sounds like he’s thrilled to be any influence on Christopher at all, and Eddie refuses to soften over Buck being so damn endearing. He refuses. Not when Buck just teamed up with Christopher to prank him by sending him Eddie a coffee maker.

“I hope you’ve kept the receipts. Hildy won’t be staying in this house.”

“That’s fine. I think if you ended up loving Hildy and her coffee more than me and mine, I’d probably end up getting jealous at having such efficient competition.”

“We both know you have nothing to be jealous of. Or any kind of competition.”

“Oh yeah?” He can hear Buck’s grin through the phone.

Eddie can’t help but grin back. “I’m not doing this right now.”

“No?”

“No,” Eddie retorts sassily. “Consider it payback for the prank. Goodnight Buck.”

Now he can hear Buck’s pout. “Night Eddie, love you.”

“You won’t win my forgiveness that easily.”

Buck huffs, half-laugh, half-pretend-sigh. “Ok.”

“Buck?”

“Yeah?”

“Love you too.”

Buck’s laugh of delight may or may not win Eddie’s forgiveness that easily. But Eddie will not be admitting that.

***

Buck, Eddie and Hen go down to Texas to help the responders and rescue services with the wildfires.

Buck’s spotted Firefox from Instagram, been unfairly called out for staring a bit, and then been abandoned by Eddie and Hen. The Abandoners. Hen’s volunteered in the medical tent and Eddie’s left him for Firefox. Buck shouldn’t hold a grudge. But he does. He means, he understands…Firefox is cool as shit, and the rescue team needed a medic, and Eddie was an army medic. It makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is Firefox not following Buck back on insta and then just stealing his boyfriend?! What’s Buck done to warrant that?! He wasn’t staring that much. He didn’t think.

Ok, maybe he was.

And maybe Eddie might also be getting revenge for the fact Buck fell asleep and drooled all over his shoulder on the drive over. Regardless, Buck’s now on the team helping dig the trench that will hopefully give the wildfires nowhere to go.

He’s got talking to two guys from the 126 based in Austin; Mateo and TK.

Mateo’s been asking him about a cousin of his in LA that Buck has no hope of actually knowing in person, no matter how small people sometimes claim the world to be. Particularly when Buck learns Mateo’s cousin is actually currently in prison; a place even Buck’s bad luck hasn’t landed him. Well, not yet, anyway. Athena’s patience in giving him exasperated warnings may one day wear too thin.

Buck, Mateo and TK then get onto the topic of emergencies they’ve responded to.

“Had a woman almost drown on me last year in less than a foot of water,” TK says, “She was trapped in a bus upside down in the middle of the street. It was wild, man.”

“We had a bus rescue recently,” Buck says, thinking of the mudslide that happened mere weeks ago in LA. The world is going to hell with its pandemics and mudslides and wildfires. “It wasn’t upside down though, but it was sticking out the fifth floor of an office building.”

“No way!” Mateo exclaims, “That’s insane!”

Apparently, TK sees that as a challenge. “We had an active volcano last week.”

And apparently, Buck and TK are quite alike, because Buck rises to said challenge. “I think I saw something about that on the news. It wasn’t long after we had the mudslide in LA.”

“Natural disasters, man,” Mateo shakes his head.

“Tornadoes, solar storms, volcanoes…” TK lists, “We’ve had a few of them for sure.”

“Yeah man, I hear you,” Buck agrees, “We’ve had the tsunami, an earthquake, a…”

And that’s when a burning vehicle comes rolling down the hill at them. TK pushes Buck out the way, and the three of them work well as a team to save the driver…or, as it turns out, the dog in the driver’s seat, but still, most people would say saving a dog’s life is the greatest of all saves.

“Nice moves by the way!” Buck grins at TK afterward, “Good reflexes!”

“Yeah, you too,” TK says, and when they get back to work, he asks, “So, how long you been a firefighter?”

“Uh, not long actually!” Buck says, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I passed my probation a couple of months ago.”

 Mateo frowns. “Wait, but didn’t the tsunami in LA happen, like, two years ago?”

“Uhh, yeah,” Buck says, “I, umm…I wasn’t a firefighter for the tsunami and earthquake but I was…in them?”

“In them?” TK challenges; thinking Buck’s just been bigging up something he had no part in.

“Yeah. During the earthquake I was working in a hotel that collapsed, and when the tsunami hit, I was on the Santa Monica pier…wrong place wrong time…”

TK whistles, wide-eyed. “Shit. That’s some bad luck.”

“I know, right?”

Mateo recovers from his gawping to point at TK, “Says you, TK!”

TK looks embarrassed, but Buck is actually relieved to hear there might be another firefighter with as much bad luck as Buck.

“You got some of that bad luck too, huh?” Buck asks.

“I did get shot on a job,” TK admits hesitantly.

“Ouch,” Buck sympathises.

“Assault with a Deadly Weapon not on your list then?”

“No.” But then Buck remembers, “Oh no, wait, I was stabbed one time. That counts, right?”

TK rolls his eyes skyward. “I think yeah, maybe that counts.”

“Shit, sounds like TK would have some catching up to do to match your level of bad luck,” Mateo grins, and he looks like he doesn’t know whether to be impressed or concerned that Buck is a walking disaster amidst a natural disaster.

TK doesn’t either.

“Yeah, well, it’s best we don’t make this into a competition,” Buck jokes back, and TK laughs and agrees.

Buck just hopes neither of them are adding ‘wildfire’ to their personal lists.

*

Eddie likes the firefighters he’s met from Austin’s 126. Judd, a fellow Texan, clicked with Eddie the moment he found out Eddie was from El Paso and not so ‘Hollywood’ after all. And sure, Judd’s an Austin Heights Bulldog, but that just adds to the rapport they instantly got going. Paul seems cool-headed, intelligent, quick to pick up on the tiniest details. And Eddie’s spent most of his time with Marjan; fearless, fiery and the apparently-famous Firefox.

She is invaluable help while Eddie saves the life of the counsellor of the group of trapped teens, and then, while the teens are taken back down the mountain and a search is made around the campsite for the missing kid, the two of them wait together at the campsite in case the kid returns.

“How can you be so calm under literal fire?” Marjan asks him at one point.

“Well, at least no-one's shooting at us,” Eddie points out.

While they wait, Eddie follows her on Instagram, since Buck was so glowing about her account. Maybe he can convince Marjan to follow Buck back, and earn him some brownie points after abandoning Buck to head up the mountain with Judd’s rescue team.

Buck was right; Marjan’s Instagram is very impressive. Marjan demands to follow Eddie back, despite Eddie warning it will be boring because he doesn't post much on social media.

Marjan quickly finds a selfie of him and Christopher, and Eddie proudly confirms Christopher’s his kid. Marjan then finds another photo.

“You did not build him a skateboard!” she says, impressed, showing Eddie the photo in question.

“Well, Buck helped,” Eddie can’t help but correct, with a fond smile.

Buck helping Eddie find a way to get Christopher skateboarding was one of the greatest gestures Buck could have ever made. For Christopher and for Eddie.

“Wait, was that that creepy guy that was staring at me before?” Marjan asks, spotting Buck in the photo and then going back and inevitably finding more photos of Buck on Eddie’s Instagram.

“He just recognised you and couldn’t place you, is all,” Eddie says in Buck’s defence. “He wasn’t being creepy, you know, like that.”

“Well, no, I can see that now,” Marjan says with an arched eyebrow of intrigue, “He’s all over your Instagram, and you talk about him way too fondly for BFFs so I’m guessing…boyfriend?”

“Yeah.”

Marjan turns the phone around to display a selfie of Eddie and Buck she’s landed on. “Y’all are too cute.”

Eddie can’t help but grin, flattered, because it is a really good photo of him and Buck.

“And you said your social media would be boring,” Marjan rolls her eyes as she puts her phone away.

“Well, it’s no Prius in a tornado.”

“You and your boyfriend built your kid a skateboard,” Marjan corrects, “That’s pretty cool in my book.”

*

They rescue the kid, but Eddie comes back down the mountain to find out the helicopter Hen and Captain Strand were in has crashed.

He then finds out Buck and TK Strand have snuck off to steal a fire truck and launch a rescue themselves.

“Hey Dumbass! Dumbasser!” Judd reprimands from the head of their party to hunt down Buck and TK before they go riding off into fire with no backup. “Did you stop and consider the consequences of what you’re about to do at all?”

“You obviously don’t know Buck,” Eddie says flatly, shining his torch in Buck’s face to make the point that he is not impressed.

“You two seriously didn’t think that you could sneak off and drive into wild fires, did you?” Marjan asks.

“I guess?” TK tries.

“Well that ain’t going to happen,” Paul informs them.

“Do you think you’re going to stop us?” Buck challenges, squinting into the torchlight.

“Stop you?” Mateo snorts. “We’re going with you.”

As Marjan passes Eddie towards the fire truck she mutters, “Your boyfriend’s a maniac Diaz. I like him.”

“Told you you would,” Eddie says.

It’s dark as Eddie jumps into the fire truck beside Buck, but he can still see the sheepish expression on Buck’s face. “Sorry Eddie.”

“You really thought I’d try to stop you? This is Hen we’re talking about.”

“I know, but you guys weren’t back and we didn’t think we could wait. You know I would’ve any other time.” Buck’s knee knocks into his. “Guess we’ve both been abandoners today,” he attempts.

“Nice try,” Eddie says, but Buck’s heart, as always, was in the right place, and Eddie knows it, because he knows Buck’s heart as well as his own. He lets him off the hook.

*

Hen and Captain Owen Strand are sheltering from the fires in a mine with the injured helicopter pilot. Oxygen will be running low soon, but waiting for rescue in silence would be unbearable so they’ve been making small talk; to pass the time, and so Hen can keep checking on Owen, who has a concussion and seems to have some ghosts haunting him in the dark.

They talk about their families, and their second families; their teams.

“And the two firefighters from your team who joined you from LA?” Owen is asking, “I know one of them is an ex-army medic.”

“Eddie Diaz,” Hen confirms, “And the other one is Buck; Evan Buckley. He’s actually our newest firefighter at the 118, but he was determined to come down here with us.”

“Oh? How new?”

“He passed his probation a few months ago. But he’s good. And lord knows he can handle himself in an emergency; uniform or no uniform.”

“It…sounds like there’s a story there?”

“Well…” Hen doesn’t know whether or not to admit this, since Buck is inevitably going to be a ringleader of the rescue party, but she figures it will be a good distraction for Owen. “We actually got to know Buck because he became a ‘regular’ on calls. We met him as a bystander or patient at enough emergencies we got to know him, and saw how capable he was in a crisis. Captain Nash offered him a job based on it.”

Owen tips back his head and laughs, looking like a snapshot from a Hollywood movie set or magazine cover. And then that screen-perfect, charming smile turns on Hen, and falters when Owen realises she’s being serious.

“Oh,” he says, “Oh, you’re not joking.”

“I’m not joking,” Hen confirms with a wry grin.

*

The rescue of Hen and Captain Strand is – thank god – successful. Their efforts to put a stop to the wildfires also thankfully prove successful.

Eddie says goodbye to Judd, and Paul, who says the selfie Eddie snaps with Marjan is ‘just too much pretty’.

Speaking of pretty…Eddie needs to help out his man.

“And, for the love of god, please follow Buck back on insta,” he asks Marjan.

Marjan pulls a face like she’ll think about it as she, Judd and Paul drive off.

Eddie goes to check on Hen, and then in search of Buck. He rounds the truck to find Buck stammering at something TK’s just said.

“I already have a boyfriend too!” Buck says, “So…I…uhh, that’s not what I meant!” Buck catches sight of Eddie and his flustering results in a “Oh…hey…hey babe.”

The ‘babe’ catches Eddie off guard. He and Buck don’t really do pet names. Or at least they haven’t before. TK’s looking between them though like it all makes sense.

“Oh no way!” TK exclaims, “Sorry, Buck, I didn’t know! And yeah, if I’m ever up in LA, it’d be good to see you guys. It’s been good to meet you both, and to work with you.”

“And you,” Eddie returns, then decides to tease Buck a little more, because he likes when Buck’s ears go red like that. He puts his hand on Buck’s shoulder. “We’d best get on the road, right baby?”

He doesn’t expect Buck to melt under his words and touch quite like that.

“Oh…yeah…” Buck says, “Yeah…yep.”

When TK’s gone, Eddie turns to Buck, grinning, “What was that?”

“I said to TK if he was ever in LA we should get together…meaning drinks or whatever! And he said it sounded good but I should know he has a boyfriend and it’s pretty serious! And then I was just telling him about you when you turned up and…”

“And you called me babe,” Eddie’s grin may turn a little shit-eating. Because Buck’s ducking his head with that coy smile of his and Eddie kind of loves it.

“Well…you called me baby!”

“And you seemed to like it,” Eddie shrugs. When Buck doesn’t deny it, he takes Buck’s hand. “Come on honey, time to go.”

“I like that one less.”

As they climb into the fire truck beside Hen, Buck pulls his phone out his pocket and his face lights up.

“Firefox followed me back on insta!” He looks to Eddie with awe. “Was this you?”

“Don’t say I don’t do anything for you…sweetheart,” Eddie grins as Buck groans.

“What’s this?” Hen asks, eyebrow raised.

“Don’t ask,” Buck shakes his head, but his smile betrays him.

***

Buck hasn’t met Eddie’s parents in person before.

Eddie doesn’t talk much about them, but from what Buck’s gathered, they are the kind of parents that whenever Eddie does something that isn’t in line with what they expect of him, they consider it a rebellious ‘phase’ he’s going through, where eventually he’ll come out the other side and realise that they were right all along. They did it when he first started dating Shannon, and again when he returned from the army and tried to raise Christopher alone after Shannon had left, and especially when he moved himself and Christopher to LA. It’s only when the ‘phase’ has gone on too long that they seem to eventually accept it as how it is.

Eddie dating Buck was the same. When Eddie had first started dating Buck, they had considered both Eddie’s sexuality and Buck a phase. It was only until after Eddie stayed at Buck’s loft during the pandemic, he and Eddie celebrated their first anniversary, and Buck spoke to them multiple times over FaceTime, that they finally accepted it as something that wasn’t changing. They seemed to warm to Buck a little more after that.

When they stop at the Diaz’s on the way home from the wildfires, Ramon and Helena are chatty, and polite, and welcoming, but every so often they make some anecdote about Eddie growing up with his younger sisters that has Eddie frowning instead of smiling and laughing along, and it makes Buck uncomfortable too, and wary of getting too friendly with them.

Also, now they have moved on from considering Eddie and Buck’s relationship a ‘phase’, they have a new topic to question Eddie over.

They didn’t seem to mind the army; Ramon Diaz seeing it as an occupation worthy of a man providing for his family – Buck senses there’s some ‘suck it up’ unhealthy masculinity involved there – but when Eddie first became a single parent to Christopher and moved them to LA, his new noble pursuit of firefighting wasn’t always deemed the most stable, consistently routine occupation he could have; especially with Helena not there to look after Christopher anymore.

And now, apparently, Buck being a firefighter too has brought the topic back up again.

“With you both being firefighters on the A shift,” Helena says worriedly when it’s just her, Eddie and Buck in the kitchen before they sit down to eat, “It still means Christopher’s routine is often changing depending on your shifts.”

“When he’s not with us he’s with Pepa, Abuela or Carla.”

“But Carla isn’t even family…”

“He’s very happy with how things are,” Eddie says firmly. “Especially now things are going back more to normal after the pandemic.”

“That must have been so unsettling for him. The pair of you away from him. If you’d have been closer to home…”

“LA is my home,” Eddie says, which is undoubtedly for the hundredth time. “And Christopher’s.”

The brief argument is left there. Eddie’s parent’s critical concern over Christopher’s happiness – and therefore Eddie’s parenting – unsurprisingly gets to Eddie, and inevitably gets to Buck. The idea that anybody could deem Eddie in any way an absent or incapable parent – that he isn’t enough – is ludicrous to Buck, so when Christopher is brought up during dinner, Buck launches into stories of all the cool things they have done recently with Christopher. Everything from school projects to zoo trips. Eddie had warned Buck prior to arrival not to mention the skateboarding, or the surfing lessons, or anything his parents might consider ‘too dangerous’ for Christopher to do, so Buck avoids them, but tells them everything else. Making sure they know how happy Christopher is, and how much of an incredible father Eddie is, and that other kids could only be so lucky. He tells them how much Christopher loves the firehouse, and that he’s friends with Denny and Harry, at which point Hen joins in with stories of her own.

From that point dinner with the Diaz’s is, for the most part, pleasant. When they make to leave Eddie is berated for not visiting enough. Buck is sent off with a less awkward farewell than their greeting had been.

Eddie takes Buck’s hand as they settle back in the fire truck. “Thanks,” he says.

“I meant it all, Eddie,” Buck tells him quietly, because he knows what Eddie’s thanking him for.

“I know you did,” Eddie says. “And I love you for it.”

Buck squeezes Eddie’s hand. “Love you too.”

***

While Eddie’s parents sometimes concern themselves too much in Eddie’s choices, Buck’s apparently concern themselves too little. Or at least, that’s what Eddie’s come to believe. Because while Eddie rarely talks about his own parents, Buck talking about his is even rarer.

Maddie and Buck have the same mantra, which Eddie thinks the latter picked up from the former; ‘they’re not bad people, just bad parents.’

Eddie didn’t miss Buck telling Eddie’s parents how lucky Christopher is to have a dad like Eddie – that other kids could be so lucky – and Eddie got the feeling Buck was including himself in that. Eddie also reckons Buck sees Bobby as such a father figure because Bobby is genuinely the closest thing Buck has to a dad that’s present, that really cares. Because Eddie gets the idea that while his own father wasn’t physically present – working away for so much of Eddie’s childhood and expecting a barely-preteen Eddie to step up in his place – it sounds like the Buckley parents weren’t emotionally present.

And it seems to remain that way.

Eddie knows Buck sends them sporadic emails, but they don’t text each other, they don’t call, as far as Eddie knows. For all of Buck’s mishaps and accidents and near-death emergencies since he moved to LA, the Buckley parents have never come from Pennsylvania. Not even after Doug kidnapped Maddie and stabbed Buck. Maybe the Buckley siblings just never told them, but it’s also telling that the Buckley parents haven’t visited at all. Not once. Even Eddie’s parents – who regularly complain he doesn’t take Christopher to see them enough but rarely make the return journey – came to Shannon’s funeral, and Eddie’s ceremony for passing his firefighter probation. Buck’s parents haven’t shown up at all. For anything. Bad news or good.

But then Maddie tells them she’s pregnant and invites them to visit.

Chim knows before Buck and Eddie do. The day Buck and Eddie pretty much give Athena everything she needs to solve a locked yard mystery – they love watching true crime documentaries, ok? Sue them. They were the first to notice the mail. Athena calling them ‘Cagney and Lacey’ was a compliment – Chim starts acting weird around Buck. All Chim has to say is ‘excuse me’ and awkwardly edge around Buck for Buck to pick up on it, and while Eddie joked ‘how can you tell?’ when Buck said Chim was being weird, Eddie notices it too.

Then Buck calls him that night.

“Maddie invited Mom and Dad to visit,” Buck says. He does not sound pleased. “She invited them while we were in Texas and says she wasn’t completely sure they were coming, which is why she didn’t tell me until now. Now, when they’ve already crossed the California state line.”

“They’re driving?”

“Yeah. They’ll arrive tomorrow. I’m invited to dinner at Maddie and Chim’s.” There’s a voice in the background and then Buck adds, “Albert is too. Neither of us want to go.”

Eddie frowns. Buck’s forcing his current tone, presumably for Albert’s sake, and Eddie knows he’s swallowing down his true feelings about it. “Do you want to come over?”

Buck sighs, “I can’t.” He sounds like he wishes he could. “Albert wants to introduce me to this girl he’s started dating down the hall. But it’d be nice to…wait a second…”

Eddie hears Buck say something to Albert and then he waits until Buck FaceTimes him instead. Buck’s sitting on his bed, having gone upstairs to be more out of earshot of Albert.

Buck’s jaw is tight, and there’s a pain in his eyes Eddie isn’t used to.

“Hey,” Eddie says softly.

“Hey,” Buck returns, and a smile flickers over his lips at the sight of him.

“So, your parents…”

“Maddie wants her little girl to have a normal family. But inviting them here isn’t going to fix that. She reckons me talking things out with Mom and Dad could be good for my therapy. I reckon it’s way more likely to make me need more of it.”

Eddie frowns. Buck had started seeing his therapist Dr Copeland during the first lockdown; their appointments all via video call so far. It’s helped Buck a lot; helped him to process many things, but Eddie doesn’t know how much Buck has discussed his parents with Dr Copeland, or how much of his relationship with them he has processed. Eddie doesn’t like the sound of their visit potentially effecting Buck so negatively.

“Do you have to see them?”

“I can’t avoid it because I can’t let Maddie face them alone. We’ve always been a united front against them. Us versus them. I wish it wasn’t too late to talk them out of it. Talk Maddie out of it. She promises we’re still a united front, and she won’t leave me alone with them.”

What could the Buckley parents possibly be like for Buck to be afraid to be left alone with them?

“Do you want me to come with you?”

Buck’s face twists, like he knows what he wants can’t happen. “I want you there with me more than anything, but I think I need to see them first and see…how it is? I don’t want to inflict them on you immediately when I haven’t uhh…I haven’t seen them in person since I uhh…since I ran away after I got kicked out of college. They’ll be meeting Chim for the first time, and Albert, and, while they know about you, I just…I want to be able to prepare you for how…how they’ll be about it? They make these remarks, like…backhanded compliments. Stuff like that. I need to see how it is before I let them near you. I hope that’s ok. I’m sure there’s going to be more than just this dinner.” Buck grimaces. “So, do you mind sitting this one out and maybe coming to the next one with me?”

“Of course I don’t mind. Whatever you need.”

Buck lets out a breath of relief. “Thanks, Eddie. You really don’t know how much that means.”

“I don’t know a lot about this Buck,” Eddie says honestly, “You haven’t seen them in…ten years? And if the thought of seeing them is filling you with this much dread, what is it…” He trails off, then voices aloud what he fears. “Did they hurt you?”

“No!” Buck is quick to reassure him. “No, I didn’t mean for you to think…they didn’t hurt me…” he vows, “well, not physically. I…it’s hard to explain, Eds. They aren’t monsters. They’re more like…ghosts? Not present. They’ve always looked through me, you know? Always made it clear I’m such a disappointment to them, and nothing I ever did was good enough…” he trails off, and glances off camera; checking on Albert. “I’ll tell you everything, I promise, but can…can we do it in person? In private?” He smiles in relief when Eddie agrees. “Thanks, Eddie. I gotta go, I think Veronica’s here. See you at work tomorrow?”

“See you tomorrow. Hope it goes well with Veronica.”

“Thanks. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

*

“Where’s Buck?” Bobby asks the next day at lunch. “Is he joining us?”

“On the phone with Dr Copeland. Emergency therapy session,” Eddie says.

He hasn’t had the chance to talk to Buck alone yet, and probably won’t be able to until after Buck has dinner with his parents at Maddie and Chim’s, but he’s glad Buck’s made time for this therapy session if he needs it.

“Again?” Bobby asks, concerned, making Eddie also glad Buck has at least one father figure looking out for him.

“Yeah. He had to ask her for some advice on de-escalation techniques,” Eddie says. He knows Buck said his parents were mainly emotionally distant with him, but Eddie’s still concerned for whatever it is Buck’s anticipating could go so wrong tonight.

“What, is he afraid his parents’ visit is going to turn into a hostage situation?” Bobby asks, with an incredulous laugh that doesn’t meet his eyes, because he knows as well as Eddie that Buck isn’t being overdramatic.

At Bobby’s words Chim fumbles all the cutlery he’s setting out on the table, knives and forks clattering. Eddie, Bobby and Hen turn to him questioningly.

“What?” Chim asks defensively.

Hen lets it go first. “What do you think they’re like? The parents, I mean,” she asks. “I mean I look at Maddie, and then I look at Buck, and I’m like, there’s a story there.”

“You have no idea,” Chim mumbles to himself, and then starts as they all inevitably turn to stare at him again. He tries to cover quickly, “I mean, none of us have any idea!" He pauses thoughtfully, “Which is too bad, because you know, if we all knew we could talk about what we know and then we’d all know it. And no-one would be stuck keeping things to themselves. Alone. With no-one to talk to about some potentially explosive information that they really wish they didn’t know.” He stops himself abruptly and looks at them all watching him expectantly. “I gotta go.” He drops the cutlery and makes a dash for the fireman's pole.

“Do we even want to know what that was about?” Eddie asks. Even though he knows what it’s about. Chim hasn’t stopped acting weird, which means he knows something more about Buck’s parents than just knowing they’d been invited to visit. Buck’s noticed, and has mentioned it to Eddie, and to Albert. Albert apparently doesn’t know anything. It’s frankly a miracle, because Chim rather famously can’t keep secrets, and this one is trying to force its way out of him already.

“No,” Bobby answers Eddie's question.

“Definitely not,” Hen agrees.

And Eddie? He doesn't want to know either. He wants Buck to know what’s being kept from him, because it’s not fair if Buck’s the only one at dinner tonight still being kept in the dark.

“You’ll come over tonight after dinner?” Eddie offers to Buck in the locker room when they finish their shift.

Buck sends him a small, grateful smile, like he already can’t wait for it to be over. “Yes, please.”

Eddie nods. “Good. I’ll see you later.” He squeezes Buck’s arm. “Hope it goes ok.”

Buck looks like he’s bracing himself, which is not a good sign. “Thanks.”

*

Eddie hears his front door go, and stands up from the couch just as Buck trails into the lounge.

“Hey, how’d it…” he doesn’t finish his question. Buck looks utterly miserable. “Come here.”

Buck shuffles into Eddie’s arms, and holds him back just as tightly. “Well, that was awful,” he laughs bitterly into Eddie’s shoulder.

Eddie frowns, stroking a hand through Buck’s hair. “What happened?”

“Oh, the usual,” Buck says, “Where to begin? The start, I guess. They belittled my nickname, which scared Chim into being called ‘Howard’ all night, they expressed surprise that I can cook, called Maddie’s pregnancy high risk, took jabs about Maddie waiting this long to get pregnant, brought up Doug, more than once, just so they could let her know again that they never approved of him. And then they found out I was seeing a therapist. So yeah, it was a shitshow.”

Eddie encourages Buck to sit down with a beer, and from there, Buck tells Eddie everything. It spills out of him; Buck picking the label off the bottle and glancing at Eddie every now and again to gage Eddie’s reaction.

Eddie hears how Buck has felt unloved by his parents his whole life; always the disappointment, the burden, not good enough. He hears about when Buck learned getting injured was the only way he would ever get their more-affectionate attention, and he developed a reckless nature.

“That nature, combined with being naturally accident prone anyway?” Buck adds sheepishly at one point, “No wonder people call me unlucky.”

Eddie hears about how Maddie essentially raised Buck in every way that mattered. She did everything with him. Helped him learn how to ride a bike, made sure he did his homework, picked him up and drove him around to various school activities, and actually came to watch him play his sports. She patched him up when he fell down. Kept him stocked with snacks, treats and days out. Well, until Doug had forced his way into the picture, or rather, forced Maddie out of it.

Buck tells Eddie about Maddie moving away with Doug, and how things got worse for Buck in his parent’s house as the sole kid. How he felt more alone than ever. That he hated living with the way they looked at him – through him. How he rebelled at college and got kicked out and had run to Maddie, who had moved back and was working at the local hospital. How Buck had begged her to let him stay with her, but instead, Maddie had given him her jeep and told him to leave and be free of them. How Buck had thought he had encouraged Maddie to come with him, but when he went to the hospital to pick her up, she wasn’t there and had just left a note to tell him she wasn’t coming. So, Buck had left Hershey. Left his parents and Maddie and Doug behind, though he had tried to keep in touch with Maddie as he travelled.

Eddie knows how the story goes from there; Buck had travelled from place to place, from job to job, until he ended up in LA and based himself there, still working through jobs, trying to find his calling.

“I just can’t stand them saying those things about Maddie and about them being right about Doug all along when they cut her off, didn’t go to the wedding, lived in the same town and didn’t know what he was doing to her. They don’t have a single clue about anything about us. They don’t know us at all.”

Buck sighs, exhausted, slumping back into the couch. Eddie wraps his arm around him and Buck curls into his side.

“And I’m supposed to be seeing them at dinner again tomorrow night. I don’t know I’m gunna face them again,” Buck admits. “Will you come with me?”

“I said I would, didn’t I?”

There’s no way Eddie’s letting Buck face them alone again. If Buck needs quiet, supportive back-up, Eddie will be there. If Buck needs a guard dog, Eddie’s going to make damn sure Buck gets one.

***

Eddie goes from being afraid for Chim one minute – stuck in the basement of an evacuated building with a man with his thumb on the trigger of a bomb – to suspicious the next, when Chim comes out with the would-be-bomber – Stanley – on a gurney and Stanley calls “Hey, are you Buck?”

Buck turns in confusion just as Eddie does.

“Yeah,” Buck replies, bewildered, “That’s me.”

“So, it’s true,” Stanley comments to Chimney.

“Ok that O2 must really be kicking in. In you go,” Chim does a terrible job of trying to cover as he tries to hurry the gurney into the ambulance.

Stanley does not play along. “You weren’t lying," he says to Chim.

“Lying about what?” Buck demands.

“Nice to meet you Buck,” Stanley calls as the ambulance doors close.

Later, Buck grouses to Eddie in the truck, “Albert knows Chim knows something but he doesn’t know what it is.”

Later than that, Eddie hears Hen and Chim talking quietly by the trucks. He hears Chim say something about lying to Buck so the truth can’t hurt him, and that there’s a reason he feels alone; “Because he is. He’s the only one not in on it.”

And even later than that, Eddie confronts Chim himself.

“If you know something Buck doesn’t, tell him.”

"I can’t," Chim apologises, "I'm sorry but I can’t.”

“He already knows you aren’t telling him something, so just tell him.”

“I would if I could,” Chim says, and Eddie can see how terrible he feels about it. “But I can’t be the one to tell him, I’m sorry, Eddie. If he’s told, it shouldn’t come from me.”

After that, Eddie steels himself for dinner. Either everything is going to come out, or it's not. Either way, Buck is going to be left hurt, and Eddie’s not going to be able to do anything about it other than be there to pick up the pieces.

*

Eddie stands shoulder-to-shoulder with Buck at the door to Maddie and Chim’s apartment. Buck takes Eddie’s hand, and Eddie holds it tight.

“Ready for this?” Buck says, strained, aiming for jesting and missing terribly.

“Buck, if at any point this gets too much, or you want to leave, just say the word and we’re gone,” Eddie says firmly.

Buck sends him a small smile of thanks, takes a breath, and knocks on the door.

Chim opens it and actually looks relieved they’ve arrived.

“Hey guys,” he ushers them in, “I’ll grab some beers.”

Buck’s parents have stood up to greet them, and Eddie watches their eyes travel over Eddie, to his and Buck’s joined hands. Eddie inspects them right back. They kind of look like he’d imagined. And he can’t really see much resemblance to Buck or Maddie in either of them, which is kind of ironic.

Mrs Buckley smiles a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. “You must be Edmundo.”

Buck had warned Eddie of how his parents don't much like nicknames, but that's too bad, as far as Eddie's concerned. "You can call me Eddie," he says, all faux-sweet, pleasant charm.

Buck clears his throat. Eddie can't tell if it's nerves or an attempt not to laugh at the look on their faces, because they all know it will be rude not to call Eddie 'Eddie', now. 

“Eddie, this is my Mom and Dad, Margaret and Philip.”

Eddie smiles as politely as he can. “Buck’s told me a lot about you.” He thinks it’s safer than saying it’s a pleasure to meet them. Which it likely won’t be.

“Buck,” Mr Buckley repeats, like he doesn’t like it, and Buck’s fingers tighten around Eddie’s, “Right, yes.”

“I wish we could say we've heard a lot about you too,” Mrs Buckley adds, “But Evan does like to keep things to himself.”

Eddie wants to retort, but looks to Buck for direction as he’d vowed to himself he’d do. Buck meets his eyes and Eddie knows just to leave it.

They sit down and make small talk for a while. On the surface, Philip and Margaret Buckley are a kind of perfected pleasant, and it’s weird, because at points it’s like they really are trying, yet at the same time it’s also so obvious they have little understanding of their children and aren’t willing to learn. Maddie’s taking a lot of backhanded comments and is being reserved in a way Eddie isn't used to. Chim clearly isn’t comfortable yet in their company. And Eddie has never seen Buck so dejected. The weight of whatever is being kept from Buck is practically palpable, and yet no-one addresses it. It makes Eddie edgy. He fields some questions about himself and Christopher, which are nice enough, but he can’t help but feel judged; not just in himself, but in his and Buck’s relationship as a whole; like they think Buck’s sexuality and Eddie are just another attempt by Buck to punish his parents with rebelliousness.

Thankfully, the conversation moves onto their jobs, and the call they had with the bomber, where Chim had saved the day.

“Well, I’m just glad everybody’s ok,” Margaret says when the story is through.

“You all seem to have very dangerous jobs,” Philip remarks.

“I mean, not really,” Maddie says, “Most of the time it’s pretty run of the mill.”

“Yeah, and Stan wasn’t a bad guy. He just needed someone to see him. To understand how much…” Chim glances at Buck uncomfortably, clearly as upset as Eddie is to see Buck poking at his food like he is, head down and quiet, “…pain he was in,” Chim finishes. “He probably wasn’t going to blow the place up.”

Eddie wants to say something. He wants so badly to say something. But he can’t. Buck talked to Dr Copeland about de-escalation tactics for a reason, and he and Eddie had discussed their approach in the car on the way here. Eddie’s taking his lead from Buck. If Buck grins and bears it, so does Eddie. If Buck decides to leave, Eddie leaves. If Buck wants to say something, Eddie’s backing him all the way.

“Still seems very risky,” Philip says, “I mean, from what I hear, Evan has spent quite a lot of time in hospitals.”

“From what you hear?” Buck beats Eddie to it. “Because you could have come. Seen for yourself.”

“Evan, I’ve told you…” Margaret starts.

“You’re not good with hospitals,” Buck glances up, “I got it.”

“Not good seeing my children in them,” Margaret says, and she’s getting upset. “You don’t know…”

“Mom, mom,” Maddie cuts in, and shakes her head.

Buck watches the whole exchange, and it’s exactly as Chim described it to Hen earlier. Buck feels alone because he is. He’s the only one not in on it. Whatever it is. And if he hadn’t known that before his parents’ visit. He certainly does now.

“I’m fine,” Margaret composes herself. “I’m ready for dessert.”

“Oh, Howard, where’d you put that box we brought?” Philip asks.

Eddie is caught off-guard not for the first time that evening because he’s so unused to hearing Chim being called Howard.

“Dad, more gifts?” Maddie protests politely.

“Not exactly.”

“It’s over by the couch, let me grab it,” Chim offers, jumping up, clearly relieved by the change of topic.

“I like him, Maddie,” Margaret says when Chim’s out of earshot.

“Me too,” Maddie smiles.

Maddie looks genuinely happy for the first time this evening, and Eddie’s relieved, for Maddie, and Chim, that Margaret said that and clearly meant it. But then she follows it up with “You picked a good one this time,” and ruins it.

“Mom,” Buck warns.

“What?” Margaret actually looks upset by Buck’s tone, “It was a compliment, Evan!”

“Oh, was it?” Buck bites back.

Margaret shakes her head with a sigh. Eddie grits his teeth.

Chim returns with the present, which turns out to be a wooden box with Maddie’s name on the lid.

“Your baby box,” Margaret tells Maddie kindly when Maddie looks at her questioningly. Maddie exhales emotionally as she opens it. “I thought you might want to pass on some of these things to your little girl someday.”

Maddie’s eyes glisten as she and Chim pick up a few items, ‘awwing’ over the little baby booties. At first, witnessing his friends take a moment over baby items Maddie can pass down to their child makes Eddie smile. He thinks the baby box is actually a really nice gesture, until it suddenly really, really isn’t.

“Oh, this is cool,” Buck pipes up. “I…I didn’t know you made these for us. When do I get mine?”

An awkward look passes between Margaret and Philip. Eddie’s stomach plummets as Buck’s face falls.

“Hey, you’re not even a grown-up yet,” Chim tries to save, squeezing Buck’s shoulder. “They’re probably still adding stuff to it.”

But Chim knows as well as Buck and Eddie do that for some reason, Buck doesn’t have one. His parents never made him one. Eddie bites his tongue. Literally.

Maddie’s still absorbed in the baby box. “I can’t believe you kept all this,” she says.

“You thought we’d throw it away?” Philip asks.

Eddie bites his tongue even harder. Because he has a feeling that’s exactly what they did with Buck’s baby things. He thinks he can taste blood. 

“We may not have agreed with all the choices you made, Maddie, but we never gave up hope that you’d come to your senses,” Margaret says, “And you did.”

And that’s the moment Buck’s resolve not to escalate snaps.

“You never gave up hope?” Buck repeats incredulously.

“Evan, let’s not do this,” Maddie begs.

Buck looks at Maddie with determination. “United front, remember?” he reminds her, but there’s more to his tone, something accusatory, like he knows perfectly well she is also keeping him in the dark about something. But then he keeps his pinky swear, and turns it on their parents. “You guys didn’t even go to her wedding.”

“She was making a terrible mistake,” Margaret protests, “We told her that.”

“Yeah, people make mistakes. Doesn’t mean you give up on them. But you did,” Buck says angrily, “She married Doug and you cut her off.”

“At the time we thought it was for the best,” Philip says.

“We didn’t know what was going on! I swear Maddie! We didn’t know he was hurting you!” Margaret vows.

“Well, you should have!” Buck snaps, “You should have known. You should have known! You were right there in the same town. How could you not know?” He laughs bitterly. “Actually, you know what? Maybe it does track. You barely even knew what was going on with your own kids when we were under the same roof!” He glares at his parents. “Maybe you never gave up hope, but you sure as hell gave up on her. You gave up on both of us.” Buck stands up to leave, and Eddie mirrors him, letting Buck know Eddie’s with him all the way as he gets to say his piece. “Oh, and you want to know why I’m really in therapy? It is because I have spent my entire life feeling like a constant disappointment. You want to talk about our jobs? You think my job is dangerous? I have walked through fire every single day of my life because of you! That is why I am in therapy. Because nothing I ever did was good enough!”

“We tried! But you always…” Philip starts.

“You never made it easy on us!” Margaret interrupts, “Either one of you!”

“We were supposed to?” Maddie asks incredulously, “We were kids.”

“Evan, I don’t know what you expected us to do!” Margaret wails, like Buck’s being unreasonable.

Like Buck’s being unreasonable.

And then Buck says the most reasonable, simple thing his parents could have done, and Eddie’s heart shatters.

“Love me anyway,” Buck says quietly. The room falls silent, and Eddie hopes it’s fucking hurting them, because it’s fucking hurting him. “Eddie…” Buck says as he turns to leave.

“Right behind you.”

And Buck walks out the front door.

Eddie goes to follow him, but then pauses. He looks at Maddie, who's in tears, and Chim, to silently apologise for leaving him with this, before turning to face Margaret and Philip Buckley.

“One day soon, Mr and Mrs Buckley,” Eddie announces, with a quiet, controlled ire, “I’m going to ask Buck to move in with me and my son. And one day in the future, I’m going to ask your son to marry me. And I am going to make sure that every single day, he never feels like he isn’t good enough. Ever again.”

And then he leaves.

He finds Buck waiting by the car.

“I’m sorry…” Buck starts, his voice breaking, before Eddie cuts him off by wrapping him in a hug.

“I’m not,” Eddie vows furiously. He’s not sorry Buck invited him tonight, so Eddie could see for himself, hear Buck stand up for himself, hear Buck bear his soul, and then get to say what he said after Buck had left. He’s not sorry.

His heart aches for Buck, but he’s not sorry Buck's parents have had to face the truth of how they make Buck feel.

He moves back and places his hand on Buck's shoulder, meeting his eyes. “You have never been a disappointment to me. You are good enough. More than enough. You are wanted. And you are so, so loved.”

Buck’s eyes gloss and his lip wobbles and he breaks down in Eddie’s arms right there by the car.

Eddie gets him home, wraps him up in bed, and doesn’t let him go.

***

Buck’s done with crying. He’s done with feeling sorry for himself. By the time he gets to work the next day, all he feels is anger.

So he decides to take it all out on the nearest punching bag.

Eddie, godsend Eddie, hasn’t left Buck’s side since before dinner with his parents, and has been the best kind of support Buck needs, and he's still there, leaning against a pillar and watching Buck hit the punching bag.

“Tell Mom and Dad how you feel, it’ll be a fresh start,” Buck snarls between punches. “Two dinners,” he points at Eddie with his glove, “I can’t believe that’s all it took! Two dinners and I am 12 years old again trapped between my sister and my parents.” He sighs. “And now…planning my awkward apology.”

“What do you have to apologise for?” Eddie says firmly, and it’s nice to hear, because Eddie was there, so he should know whether or not Buck was out of line, or should be apologising. “Did you say anything that wasn’t true?”

“No, but…”

“If that’s how you feel, how they made you feel, you had every right to say so.”

“Yeah, I know,” Buck knows it, he does, “but I…ugh! I just wish I could stop thinking about it! I just want to stop thinking about it and hit things.” Buck hits the bag again, but stops when Eddie’s hand suddenly slams onto the bag and keeps it still.

Eddie’s watching him closely. “I’ve been down that road. I don’t recommend it.”

Buck moves back sheepishly, because it makes him realise how insensitive he’s being. Eddie did go down this road. Internalising his anger and taking it out by hitting things, to a self-destructive level, and Buck knows Eddie badly regrets it.

Buck’s distracted from both his guilt over his own insensitivity and his urge to hit things over his parent’s insensitivity, by his phone buzzing on the nearby bench.

“Maddie again?” Eddie asks.

“Yeah, she’s worried about me.” A surge of anger returns and Buck kicks out at the punching bag petulantly.

“Can’t imagine why,” Eddie comments drily, because Buck knows he's concerned.

And it's Eddie’s worry - after everything he’s done for Buck in the last twenty-four hours - that makes Buck finally pick up the phone to speak to Maddie.

*

Several hours later, he’s calling Eddie.

“Buck? How did it go at Maddie’s?”

“It was…I can’t really…urm…I…” Buck doesn’t even know what to say. His voice is thick with tears.

Eddie cuts him off. “Where are you?”

Buck feels so terrible that Eddie’s concerned for him, again. “The loft.”

Eddie doesn’t hesitate. “I’m coming to you.”

“But Chris…”

“Is with Carla. I’m in town. I’m coming over.”

Buck can’t help but feel grateful and relieved.

He feels even more grateful and relieved when he hears the door go and Eddie racing straight upstairs to find Buck in his bed. Eddie climbs straight in with him.

“Tell me. What is it?”

“I was a saviour baby, Eddie,” Buck sobs. “I was a saviour baby that wasn’t a saviour. Wasn't good enough. It all makes so much sense…”

If Eddie’s shocked, he pulls himself out of it quickly. “Hey, hey,” he soothes, holding Buck closer and rocking him carefully, and Buck shuts his eyes, tears squeezing through his lashes and trailing down his face. “It’s alright, Buck, it’s alright.”

Buck eventually tells Eddie everything. About finding the photo in Maddie’s baby box of a little boy in 1988, before Buck was born, and then finally learning about Daniel, his older brother, who was seven when Buck was born, but died a year later from juvenile leukaemia. Juvenile leukaemia Buck was supposed to save him from, but didn’t, despite being a match, because the marrow transplant wasn’t successful. Daniel had died, and Buck had been the saviour baby that wasn’t good enough, that disappointed his parents from the very beginning. The parents who never wanted another child, and only had one to save one of the children they already had, and then lost. Buck never had a chance. He was never going to replace Daniel. Buck was the kid that failed Daniel. So his parents, who used to be different – happier – according to Maddie, are still grieving, and still treating Buck like it's his fault.

“You can’t blame yourself for this, Buck. This isn’t on you. None of this is on you,” Eddie tells him fiercely, after Buck finishes his story at the point he walked out on Maddie.

He feels bad for leaving, for not talking to her, but he feels betrayed. Their united front? Them versus their parents? It doesn’t feel much that way anymore.

*

By the time Buck tells the same story to Bobby and Hen (and retells it to Eddie) the next day, he’s already moved from devastation to bitter acceptance, because now his whole life makes so much more sense.

“This explains so much about you,” Hen says, after Buck tells them his recklessness as a child was because he learned his parents’ worry was the only thing that won him their attention. “It’s a miracle you even survived childhood.”

“It’s a miracle he survived yesterday,” Bobby comments, but its fond, and for the umpteenth time Buck wishes he could have had a dad like Bobby. A parental figure who genuinely cares about him. Who actually speaks fondly about him. Who actually likes him.

“Thanks Cap,” Buck rolls his eyes, just as fondly. “It was the only way I could get their attention. Guess now we know why. They never wanted another kid. They had me for parts.” Buck holds up a correcting finger. “Defective parts, as it turned out.”

“Hey, that’s not on you,” Eddie says, repeating the very same thing he had told Buck the night before.

“I doubt they would agree,” Buck shrugs, looking away from Eddie’s obvious concern.

But in doing so he lands on Bobby’s obvious concern instead. “Have you talked to them about it?”

“What am I gonna say? ‘Hey I’m really sorry about your dead son, but can we talk about me for a minute?'”

“Daniel wasn’t their only son. You matter too, Buck,” Hen tells him firmly.

“Sure,” Buck nods. “Just…” he pauses, “just not to them.”

“Sorry I’m late, Cap,” Buck hears Chim say behind him, and refuses to turn around. He only looks at him when Chim asks him, “Hey, can we talk in private?”

“No need. Come on. They all heard the story.”

“Look, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. Believe me I wanted to,” Chim tries.

“I get it,” Buck sympathises bitterly. “Maddie put you in a tough spot. She does that.”

“You need to call her, Buck!” Chim calls after him as Buck walks away. “She really wants to talk to you!”

But Buck doesn’t want to talk to Maddie. Even when she turns up at the firehouse.

Buck doesn’t like being mean to her, doesn't like upsetting her, but he’s upset and he’s hurt, and so he lets her know what he’s thinking. Asks her why talking to him about Daniel is suddenly such an emergency after keeping it from him for twenty-nine years. States that they were supposed to be a team, him and Maddie against their parents, while actually it had been the three of them against him the whole time. Tells her he thinks she’s not even here for him, but to make herself feel better.

And then the call goes out for a five-alarm fire at an industrial complex. Buck leaves Maddie standing there and tries not to feel horrible.

Chim tries to talk to Buck before they enter the sanitizer factory, but Buck brushes him off, and tries not to feel horrible.

The fire, at least, is a distraction from everything he’s feeling. Well, until he ends up lost, trapped, with a pounding head, and unable to save the factory worker he’d ignored Captain Mehta’s orders for. He’s at his last resort, trying to pull the silo off Saleh by putting all his weight into the line he has attached to the silo and flung over a beam. The sprinklers – which have come on far too late – are showering water down on him. The droplets are running down his face, mixing with the sweat and tears as he screams with the effort.

He hadn’t been enough to save Daniel. He’s not been enough to save Saleh. And, just for a moment, he almost gives up hope.

Almost, because he suddenly feels someone behind him - hands grabbing the line behind him - and somehow he just knows, he knows it’s Eddie. Eddie, Bobby, Chim and Hen, who all come to take the line and bear the load with him, help him take the weight, help him to save Saleh. Help to save him.

*

Buck’s sitting in the back of an ambulance, with Bobby and Hen standing either side of him. Eddie’s off somewhere helping Chim on Captain Mehta’s orders, but Eddie had given Buck a quick medical onceover, and then a personal onceover, before he left, checking his face, his eyes, holding onto him tightly as he made sure Buck was ok.

“You ok?” Bobby asks.

“I got lost, Bobby,” Buck confesses hoarsely. “I went off on my own and two seconds later, I didn’t know where the hell I was.”

“Buck, that place is a maze.”

“And no-one was surprised that you stayed in there, Buck,” Hen adds.

“I almost gave up,” he finds himself admitting brokenly, “If you guys hadn’t come in, then…”

“But we did,” Bobby says firmly, putting his hand on Buck’s shoulder.

“And we always will,” Hen agrees fondly.

Athena's voice interrupts them. “They said it was a big one! They weren’t kidding!” she calls, walking towards them from the small gathering of cop cars.

“Firefighter Buckley here pulled out the very last victim,” Bobby says proudly, giving Buck way more credit than he’s due.

“Of course he did,” Athena says simply, like that’s not surprising in the slightest.

“Yeah, then everyone else had to pull me out,” Buck mumbles.

Athena apparently isn’t having that. “I’m sure whoever you saved is just glad you were being Buck.”

Buck laughs softly. “I don’t even know what that means.”

“You never give up,” Athena says, like it’s obvious. “That’s what being Buck means to me. And whatever you do, don’t stop.”

And Buck can't help but smile.

***

Bobby takes Buck to get checked out at the hospital the next morning. Bobby’s acting so worried and protective over him, and Buck can’t say he minds. It’s so nice to have someone be that for Buck, when his own parents won’t, or can’t. Eddie okayed Bobby taking Buck instead of doing it himself only because he got to take care of Buck last night, making sure he was showered, in fresh clothes and cuddled up on the sofa between Eddie and Christopher, and keeping watch over Buck throughout the night.

“I had to do it,” Buck had said at one point, after Eddie had told him how terrified he’d been seeing the window of the factory blow out in an explosion of sanitizer while Buck was still inside. Buck could only hope Eddie understood.

Which he did, because Eddie understands him better than anyone.

“I know you did,” was all he'd had to say.

Eddie’s also waiting when Buck and Bobby get back to the station.

“Clean bill of health from the docs,” Bobby announces.

“Glad to hear it,” Eddie says, drawing Buck into a long hug. “You’ve got some visitors upstairs," he tells him quietly.

Buck heads upstairs to find his parents there, sitting at the table.

“Uh…hi. I hope you weren’t…waiting long," Buck says awkwardly.

“The other firefighters were very kind,” his dad says. “We got to hear a lot of stories about you.” His eyes flick over Buck’s shoulder.

Buck glances around to see Hen and Chim suddenly pay way too much attention to the cards in front of them, while Eddie is just standing and blatantly watching from where he'd followed Buck upstairs, his arms crossed.

“They seem to like you a great deal,” Buck’s mom says. “Especially your team, and your boyfriend.”

“Yeah, I like them too.” Buck smiles towards Eddie, Hen and Chim, and sits at the table with his parents.

“I don’t even know where to start,” his mom says into the silence.

So Buck starts for them. “I’m sorry. About Daniel.” His parents look at him in surprise, or shock, or both. He isn’t sure why. Maybe because he’s bringing up Daniel, maybe because he’s offering condolences he’d never known were needed, or maybe it’s just because it’s the first time their youngest son has ever said his older brother’s name in front of them. “I can’t imagine what that must have felt like, to not be able to save someone you love.”

“Evan…” his dad starts.

“Buck,” Buck corrects firmly. “Buck. That's…that’s what people who know me…that’s what they call me.”

“Ok. Buck,” his dad accepts, “You have to know we never blamed you. None of this was your fault.”

It’s not easy to accept, because Buck doesn’t fully believe it. But his dad’s trying, so Buck figures he can too, for all their sakes. For Maddie’s sake. For his unborn niece's sake. “I still wish I could’ve done more.”

He genuinely means that. He wishes he could have saved Daniel. He wishes he could have gotten to know him. To have grown up with an older brother.

“Buck…” his mom reaches across the table for his hand, and it’s so foreign a gesture to receive from either of them that Buck just stares at it. “You were born to save someone and that’s what you do. Every day. We are so proud of you.”

Buck can’t help but tear up. And, in the end, he makes a start by forgiving his parents.

And they’re not the only family member he needs to forgive.

“You’re totally allowed to be mad at her. But if you can find a way to forgive them, you've got to find a way to forgive her,” Chim tells him in the locker room.

Buck knows that, and he agrees, but he can’t help that there’s still a part of him that feels so betrayed. “She should’ve told me.”

“She didn’t want you to think you weren’t wanted. That you weren’t loved.”

“You know what? I wasn’t.”

“Yes you were. By her.”

“She sent me away, Chim. I needed her and she wasn’t there. She just handed me keys to a car and sent me on my way so that I didn’t mess up her life.”

“The jeep? That’s what you’re talking about?”

“Course you know about that.” Chim learns everything about Buck before Buck, these days.

“More than you, apparently,” Chim says, and this time, Chim doesn’t keep secrets. He tells him everything.

*

By the time Buck gets back to the loft from Maddie’s, he’s completely and totally emotionally wrung out.

So, it’s a relief to find Eddie in the kitchen with pizzas.

“You eaten anything since lunch?” Eddie asks, and watches Buck’s expression. “Didn’t think so.”

As they stand at the counter, making quick work of the pizza slices, Buck fills Eddie in on how it went with Maddie.

“It was easier to forgive my parents than her, at first, because I guess it’s hard to feel betrayed by someone you didn’t think you could count on anyway, and easy to lash out on the person you know is always going to forgive you, you know? It hurt that she kept it from me, but she was trying to protect me. Just like she’s always done. And in so many ways, I should have protected her and didn’t.” Buck sighs. There’s so much he regrets about not recognising Doug was abusing Maddie until it was too late. “I asked her to tell me a bit about Daniel, and I think it made her happy to be able to talk about him again after all this time.”

And then he tells Eddie about Maddie keeping the post cards. Buck had realised almost immediately that he didn’t have a baby box too, but when he had mentioned it to Maddie, Maddie had gone away and come back with a bag full of all the post cards Buck had sent her during his travels between leaving Hershey and arriving in LA. Buck knew now, thanks to Chim, that the only reason Maddie hadn’t left with him that day – had just left a note – was because Doug had beaten her so badly that she had been scared away from leaving. And god, Buck wishes he’d done more to find out why she suddenly changed her mind, and helped her, but he had been so upset by her note that his emotions had driven him out the door and out of the state. He feels awful for ever thinking she’d just wanted him out of her life, to stop messing things up.

It had been bittersweet, looking through those post cards with Maddie. She had kept them all this time, and had brought them with her in the two suitcases she'd had when she escaped Doug. Maddie, who had raised him, loved him, kept all his post cards as a way to keep him with her. Buck loves her so much.

“She let me borrow them to look through,” Buck says.

Eddie demands to see them – having heard of Buck’s many occupations in the past – and Buck humours him. They look through the post cards from Georgia, Virginia Beach, Florida, Arizona, Montana, Oregon, Peru and California, with jobs on building sites, to surfing, to bartending, to Navy SEAL training, to being a ranch-hand, with photos to match; of Buck in high-vis with a helmet in hand on a building site, in a cowboy hat sitting on the hood of his jeep, in Navy SEAL uniform, in a Hawaiian shirt and beach shorts, a shell necklace and terrible tan. Eddie laughs with him at some but goes quiet for others – particularly the ranch one – cocking his head, considering, and Buck wonders if he needs to invest in a cowboy hat and make a Texan’s fantasies come true.

“Maddie told me her friend at the hospital once asked if I was working my way through the Village People,” Buck pouts.

“You do like a uniform,” Eddie comments appreciatively. “I used to think it wasn't fair how you managed to make every uniform I’d ever seen you in look good.”

That was news to Buck. He cocks his eyebrow. “You did?”

Eddie hums.

“Which one suited me best?” Buck fishes.

“Your current one,” Eddie says, handing Buck back the postcards. “The job suits you best too.”

Buck smiles, because Eddie’s right. Buck remembers the day he'd ended up in hospital with a broken arm, pleading with Maddie to let him stay at her house, or leave Pennsylvania with him. He remembers telling her ‘I’m going to be something. I just don’t know what yet.’

He knows now. And he is something. He’s found his place.

He saves people. Just - as it turns out - like he was born to do

***

Buck, Eddie, Bobby, Athena, Chim, Hen and Ravi all end up at the scene of a crime. The scene of a murder. The murder of the author Hollis Harcourt who has had people dangerously treasure hunting all over the city. Eddie and Buck had teamed up – naturally, why involve anyone else? – solved the clues, found the others all had too, teamed up with the promise of splitting the hidden fortune, found the location of the treasure, found the new probie there already, dug up the chest, found it empty, went to Harcourt’s house to confront him and then found him actually dead this time, and now Taylor Kelly’s reporting about it outside the house while Detective Rick Romero questions them over why they were there.

“So, you found an empty treasure chest, drove down here like an angry mob to confront him, and now he’s dead, but these facts are unrelated to each other?” Rick’s smirking a bit as he says it, but still.

“Rick, he was dead when we got here,” Athena insists.

“We didn’t kill him,” Eddie says.

“We just wanted to,” Buck adds, to which Bobby elbows him and shuts him up with a “Buck!”

Rick’s luckily – or unluckily, depending on how you look at it – familiar enough with Buck by now to just, let that slide, and turn his attention to Ravi instead.

“You’re new.”

“I’m not with them. I barely know these people,” Ravi says, and is met with the full force of the team’s incredulous stares.

“Detective, we’ve got the security footage,” a cop says, coming out of the house, “It wasn’t them.”

They all turn to Rick with a collective look of ‘I told you so’. Rick just shrugs with another smug smile.

“I didn’t actually think it was, I was just doing my job,” Rick says, and Athena hums, unimpressed. “And maybe enjoying the moment a little,” he admits with a grin.

So they are all cleared of murder, and then go for a drink in their favourite bar. Even the probie, despite his treachery.

“I’m sorry,” Buck says to the group at large, “But how can you say I’m unlucky when you guys are just as unlucky as I am?! I mean…in the year and a half I’ve worked with you the 118 have had two jinxed days, the last of which a powerline fell on the truck and then the truck got stolen! We’ve been framed for a bank robbery, and now almost been accused of murder.”

“But all those things have happened since you’ve joined,” Chim points out.

“Ha ha,” Buck deadpans. “You can’t convince me you lot aren’t just as unlucky. I’ve heard stories from before I joined. I reckon its why you guys ended up liking me so much in the first place. You felt a kinship of bad luck. Jinxed and cursed, the lot of you.”

“Ah, but you forget that doesn’t include Eddie,” Hen prods, “Because Eddie doesn’t believe all that exists.”

Eddie scoffs into his drink. “I don’t, because it doesn’t.”

“Oh, Eddie didn’t like me because of an affinity for bad luck, jinxes and curses,” Buck grins, “Eddie just liked me.”

Eddie rolls his eyes but doesn’t deny it, the corner of his mouth ticking up. A smile forms on Buck’s face in return; as it always does in response to Eddie’s.

And for all Buck’s bitching about bad luck – and about not getting rich and almost being accused of murder instead – Buck’s still feeling pretty lucky. Teaming up with Eddie to solve the riddles had been so much fun, and now, having drinks with his partners in almost-crime – his team, his family – Buck’s feeling like he’s won anyway.

***

Sleepy weekend mornings on a day off are Eddie’s favourite. If Christopher’s up, he’s content with his computer games and TV, and Eddie and Buck get their much-needed, rare lie-ins.

These are the days Eddie wishes more than any other that Buck just lives with them permanently. But he’s put asking Buck on hold again, because of Albert’s recovery after his car accident and someone always needing to be with him. Buck’s been staying over a bit less because of it. But this weekend Albert’s with Chim, Maddie and baby Jee-Yun, and Eddie has Buck to himself.

Or Buck has Eddie to himself, more like, since Buck has resumed his usual position, sprawled out on his front with his arm a warm, familiar weight where it’s slung over Eddie. Buck’s deadweight can be impressive; Eddie’s had to shove and prod and pull him off him before when Eddie needed to be up but Buck was in his ‘five more minutes’ snooze mode. But today Eddie doesn’t have to be anywhere, and he’s not moving Buck anywhere.

Eddie wakes slowly, sleepily, alarm-free, and its such a novelty not to have to be anywhere in particular but right here, under Buck’s wayward limbs. Eddie turns his head to watch Buck for a moment, see the gold of his eyelashes, his face softened in sleep, and lifts his hand to trail it softly down the length of Buck’s back; his skin so smooth and sleep-warm to touch. Buck sighs softly and nuzzles closer into Eddie, his arm over Eddie tightening and then relaxing again.

Eddie dozes off again, and when he wakes the second time, Buck’s now sleepily watching him.

“Hey,” Buck rasps with the morning-voice Eddie’s come to know so well.

“Hey yourself,” Eddie returns.

Buck leans in to kiss him, morning breath and all, and then slumps back down. “We don’t have to be anywhere right?” he says into the pillow.

“No.”

“Good.”

Eddie considers, and splays his hand more firmly over the small of Buck’s back where he’d left it when he’d dozed off. “So, we can do whatever you want,” he says.

Buck is far more awake when his head jerks back up from the pillow. “Whatever I want?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Give me five minutes,” Buck requests, scrambling up from the bed and darting to the bathroom.

And when Buck returns, and Eddie’s got Buck under him, Buck’s long leg slung around Eddie’s hip, his blue eyes looking up at Eddie like Eddie’s his entire world, then yeah, Eddie might, for a moment – not that he’ll ever admit it – believe a little bit in luck, and in fate.

***

Buck and Christopher FaceTime with Eddie and Charlie – the boy with an autoimmune disease that Eddie’s staying with until his mom gets back from the hospital after her fall through the rotted balcony.

“You’re lucky, my mom’s a terrible cook, but your dad’s great,” Charlie says.

“Did you order takeout?” Christopher asks.

Buck laughs. “I was thinking the same thing.”

“Hey watch it! I’m right here!” Eddie protests.

As Christopher laughs beside him, Buck sees the moment Charlie accidentally knocks over a glass and Eddie reacts as quickly as he would if it was Christopher.

“Hey! No worries! I got it!” He hands the phone to Charlie and disappears off camera. “Uhh…where does your mom keep the paper towels?”

“Upper cabinet,” Charlie points.

“Charlie,” Christopher says, catching the boy’s attention, “What school do you go to?”

“I don’t go to school because I’m sick. We move around a lot. I’m not supposed to go out except for doctors’ appointments.”

“What kind of doctors?” Christopher asks.

Eddie sits back down next to Charlie, back onscreen, and Buck can’t help but smile softly at the sight of him. Eddie says he’s not good with kids that aren’t Christopher or the ones he knows well – Hen and Athena’s – but he seems to be more than great with Charlie. Buck’s not-so-secretly looking forward to the day he and Eddie meet Jee-Yun in person for the first time. He already knows seeing Eddie holding Jee-Yun is going to be one of the cutest things Buck’s ever seen, besides the kid sitting next to him on the couch right now, obviously.

“I don’t know, all kinds,” Charlie says, “We’re always going to see a new one.”

Buck whistles, “Sounds expensive. What’s your mom do for work?”

“She always says her job is to take care of me. We’re lucky because we get donations from a GoFundMe page.”

“Ah,” Eddie says, just as the door opens behind them. Eddie and Charlie both turn round to see Charlie’s mom returning home from the hospital.

“Home,” Buck hears her say.

“Hey, looks who’s back,” Eddie says, “All patched up!”

“Hey mom,” Charlie says.

“You cooked for him,” Charlie’s mom notices, coming to stand behind Charlie’s chair, so Buck and Christopher can see her onscreen. “Charlie has a very sensitive stomach.”

Buck frowns at her ungrateful response, but Eddie doesn’t even hesitate. “Figured you’d be a bit wobbly when you got back, just wanted to make it easier for you,” says his voice from offscreen.

“Don’t worry mom! I don’t feel sick or anything!” Charlie says.

“That’s great, sweetheart,” Charlie’s mom replies.

“Mom, this is my new friend Christopher.”

“Hi Charlie’s mom, bye Charlie’s mom,” Christopher waves beside Buck. “Bye Charlie! Bye Dad!”

Eddie’s face appears at one side of the screen, “Bye guys,” he says fondly, as he takes the phone from Charlie and readies to stop the call. “I’ll see you later, ok?”

Buck smiles back at him. “See you later, Eds. Remember we’ve got Carla staying for dinner.”

“How could I forget? Be back soon.”

*

Buck clears the dishes from the table and heads towards the kitchen, Christopher trailing after him. Eddie watches them go, unavoidably smitten. He can’t remember the last time he felt this happy; spending an evening with his son, his boyfriend, and one of their closest friends, just laughing and eating and having a good time.

“It’s so good to see you both so happy,” Carla smiles at him, taking in the look on his face. “I’m surprised Buck’s not living here permanently already!”

“I'd like him to," Eddie replies keeping his voice low, "But the timing’s never been right. Every time I’ve wanted to ask him over the last six months, something’s come up and it hasn’t been a good time.”

“And now?”

Eddie shrugs easily. “I’ve decided. As soon as Albert’s one hundred percent recovered, I’m going to ask Buck to move in. Before anything else can happen.”

“Well, I’m happy for you, baby.”

Eddie smiles back at her warmly. “Thank you, Carla.”

He has to recover fast from their hushed conversation when Christopher appears in the doorway and calls, “Happy Birthday Carla!” and Buck appears behind him with two birthday cakes.

“But my birthday’s in March,” Carla says in bewilderment.

“And we missed it twice!” Christopher reasons.

“So, you got me two cakes,” Carla laughs as Buck puts them on the table before her with a flourish.

“Light the candles, Dad!” Christopher shouts excitedly.

“Ok, this is a disturbing number of candles,” Carla jokes, “Thank goodness there’s two firefighters in the house.” She winks at Eddie and Buck. “Thank you honeys.”

After they have filled themselves up with cake, Eddie, Christopher and Carla head to Christopher’s room to pack up some books and toys for Charlie. It's all been Christopher’s idea, and Eddie’s proud to have such a kind, considerate kid.

“Does he like video games?” Christopher asks, “I have some old ones I don’t play anymore.”

“I’m not sure," Eddie tries to remember. "I didn’t see a television when I was there, so let's just stick to books and toys.”

“No TV?” Christopher sounds appalled. “He really does need our help!”

“Just remember that help doesn’t always come in the form of screen time,” Carla reprimands teasingly.

“Uh huh.” Eddie agrees, while Christopher just laughs.

“Hey Eddie?” Buck's voice calls through from the kitchen. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

“Be right there!” Eddie calls back. “Don’t let Chris give the whole house away while I’m gone,” he begs Carla, before heading to the kitchen. He expects to find Buck looking sheepish over a broken glass or something, not to find him at the table, frowning at his laptop. “What’s going on?”

“I remembered what Charlie said about him and his mom supporting themselves through their GoFundMe page, so I started looking around to try to make a donation. But then…” Buck pauses, and looks up at Eddie worriedly. “I think there’s something wrong with this woman.”

“What do you mean?” Eddie frowns at Buck’s concern, sitting down beside him.

“I found some weird stuff online. I think she lied to you.”

“About what?”

And that’s when Buck shows him all the GoFundMe pages.

After they put Christopher to bed, they show them to Carla.

Carla whistles. “That’s a lot of Fund Me pages.”

“There’s Sheila and Charlie Burns in El Paso, Sheila and Charlie Young in Phoenix,” Buck reads out, flicking through the different pages and photos, “Sheila and Charlie Watts of Santa Fe. It’s all them. Just with different last names and different cities.”

“Charlie did say they moved around a lot,” Eddie remembers, “That would explain the different accounts and different cities, but not the different names.”

“What did his mom say his illness was?” Carla asks.

“She didn’t. Not really,” Eddie realises, “Said it was autoimmune.”

“Well, that’s awfully general.”

“Charlie did say he goes to a lot of different doctors,” Buck adds.

“Could be doctor shopping,” Carla suggests, “Which is what you do when you’re not really sick, you’re just looking for a doctor to say that you are.”

“So, she really is lying.” Eddie summarises gravely.

“We wouldn’t be the only ones to think so,” Buck agrees. “Most of the GoFundMe pages were shut down, but the comments are still up.” He turns the laptop screen to Eddie.

Eddie scrolls down them and reads a few of the accusatory comments aloud. “This woman is a fraud and a scammer. Do not trust her. She’s a con artist looking for money and attention." And then he sees one that makes his stomach drop. "Oh, god.”

“What?” Buck asks.

“I think she’s making her kid sick,” Eddie reads, appalled, and slams the laptop shut.

He can’t believe it. That poor kid. That poor, poor kid. Buck’s hand is on his shoulder, but Eddie can’t stop looking at the closed laptop; can’t get that last comment out of his mind.

*

That night, Eddie can’t sleep. He lies awake, staring at the ceiling, thinking of the call to Sheila and Charlie’s, of staying with Charlie afterwards, of how sickly and pale the poor kid looked. Could it be true? Could Sheila truly be making her own kid sick?

“Eddie?” Buck whispers in the dark.

“Can’t sleep either?”

“No.”

They don’t sleep the rest of the night. First thing the next morning they drop Christopher off at school, then head into the station. B Shift are still out on a call, so Eddie takes the time before their own shift starts to call social services.

Chim is the first of their team to arrive, finding them in the locker room. “Damn you’re early.”

“We couldn’t sleep,” Eddie says. “You remember the mom the other day? Sheila? With the sick kid?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, he’s not sick. Not really. She’s making him sick. Probably for years.”

“Munchausen by proxy?” Chim frowns, “That’s a big accusation, Eddie.”

“We tracked down some people that knew them before. All signs point to it. The nonspecific autoimmune disease, the revolving door of doctors. He’s frail, he’s weak, he’s always throwing up. She’s poisoning him.”

“Poisoning him? With what?”

Eddie thinks about it, and realisation suddenly, sickeningly dawns as a memory returns to him; something he saw while looking for the paper towels. “Eye drops. I saw them in the kitchen.”

“Eye drops,” Chim repeats, “Tetrahydrozoline could cause the symptoms that you’re talking about. It can be lethal if it’s ingested, doesn’t show up on a standard toxicology test. You have to know to look for it to find it.”

“She’s dosing him. Not enough to kill him but enough to keep him sick." Eddie feels sick himself. "I've already called social services. They’re coming here to take a report.”

“Why is she doing it, do you think? To gain sympathy?” Chim asks.

“Or to make a profit. I found multiple GoFundMe pages,” Buck says. “She’s conning people out of their money.”

They are interrupted when Eddie’s phone rings. He frowns down at the unknown number and answers. “Hello?”

“Eddie?” a feeble, familiar voice asks.

“Charlie?” Eddie recognises, staring at Buck and Chim, “You ok?”

“I think I did a bad thing.”

*

Since fate is not Buck’s friend, after defying Captain Mehta’s orders at the sanitiser factory, Buck has ended up seeing him several times since. Including today, apparently, as the 133 is the unit responding to Eddie's 9-1-1 call at Sheila and Charlie’s apartment block. And somehow, in only those few occasions, Buck and Captain Mehta have adopted that same resigned greeting Buck shared with Bobby when he first met him.

“Buckley,” Mehta says.

“Captain Mehta,” Buck returns, and wonders what he’s done to deserve this. Other than defy Mehta’s direct orders in a five-alarm fire, obviously.

“You get promoted to Captain when I wasn’t looking?” Mehta says, referring to the Captain’s vehicle Buck drove him and Eddie here in.

“Only vehicle available,” Buck says, before it’s all business as they enter the building.

“Diaz, you called this in?” Mehta asks.

“Yeah. Possible OD.”

When they enter the apartment, Sheila’s on the floor and Charlie’s hovering in a panic waiting for them.

“She’s over here. I don’t think she’s breathing!"

“We’re here now. We got her,” Eddie promises, drawing Charlie to one side.

“Do we know what she took?” Mehta calls out.

“Yeah, Eddie thinks it’s tetrahydrozoline poisoning. Uh…eye drops,” Buck answers, since Eddie's occupied.

“She always puts drops in my food,” Charlie stammers in explanation, and Buck glances over to see Eddie’s taken a bottle of eyedrops from him. “She thinks I don’t see her, but I do. I just wanted to see what would happen if I gave them to her. I’m sorry…” Charlie tries to go back towards his mom, but Eddie catches him.

“Oh, no, that’s ok, that’s ok. You didn’t mean to hurt her,” Eddie soothes.

Buck quietly informs Captain Mehta, “Yeah, the kid’s going to need treatment, too. Same kind of poisoning, just smaller doses. But for a really long time.”

They wheel Charlie and Sheila out on gurneys, and put them in different ambulances to go to different hospitals.

“What about my mom?” Charlie asks. “Will I see her at the hospital?”

“She’s a little more sick. She’s got to go to a different hospital. This is your ride,” Eddie reassures Charlie.

“My baby! Where’s my baby?!” Sheila is crying from the other ambulance.

As Sheila’s ambulance drives off, Buck meets Eddie in the middle of the street.

“Should’ve gotten here sooner,” Eddie says, sounding guilty for not realising it sooner.

Buck shakes his head. Eddie’s just saved Charlie. And Sheila's life. “That kid is just lucky he met you.”

“Diaz, do you want to ride with the kid to the hospital?” Captain Mehta calls.

“Yeah. That’d be gr…” Eddie starts, before the bullet hits him.

*

It’s not like the well.

It’s not dried mud under Buck’s nails. It’s dried blood.

Eddie isn’t beside Buck in the car as he drives to Eddie’s house.

Because Eddie isn’t even awake to argue his way out of hospital early. He’s still in surgery.

But in other ways it’s the same. In the way it should have been Buck. Because Buck doesn’t have a son waiting at home; a son who might be told his dad isn’t coming home. The first few seconds haven’t registered properly; Buck’s face splattered with Eddie’s blood, as he stared and struggled to compute what was happening.

At least he was able to do more to help Eddie this time. Roll under the fire truck, pull Eddie underneath it and out of the range of the sniper, lift him into the 133’s fire truck, put pressure on the wound and keep talking to Eddie as they race to the hospital.

Buck remembers thinking the last time, after the well, that he wasn’t going to break down crying in the middle of Christopher’s bedroom so long as Eddie was alive and right there before him. But Eddie isn’t right there before him, and he might not live, so Buck breaks down.

Not that long ago he told his parents he couldn’t imagine what it must feel like not to be able to save someone you love. And now he’s terrified he’s going to find out.