Chapter Text
Izuku is eight the first time he stands on the roof of a high-rise building with the intention of dying.
The railing on the roof is taller than Izuku, towering over his tiny frame. But he knows that he could climb over it if he tried. He sticks his head through the gaps of the railing and stares at the busy traffic and groups of people walking. The world around him moves even though his has been shattered and ripped apart.
The streak of horrible days had started early this month (well it had started when he was four and found out that he was quirkless, but that became the new normal)
First, he’d found out (through an eavesdropped phone call - but Izuku’s mother had been yelling over the line, so it wasn’t even his fault) that his father was sending less money from America than he’d originally promised, so his mother had been forced to pick more shifts at the hospital and she was barely around anymore.
Kacchan’s quirk output had increased and the starburst patterned scars decorating his body were increasing with the output. It didn’t look like Kacchan was stopping anytime soon.(Izuku is proficient in cleaning and bandaging those wounds without any help now. And lying to his mother has somehow become easier than breathing.)
His classmates had laughed and called him names, tripping him in the corridors and in the staircases. It had been a rough month, but nothing out of the ordinary.
After all, he was a weak, pathetic, worthless, useless Deku .
And then during the period before lunch, when Adachi sensei had given them some free time, Izuku’s world tilts, and then like being sucked into a black hole, he spirals from there.
Tsubasa watches Izuku with a wide gloating smirk and then calls out to the class as he uses his wings to fly higher - all eyes on him. “I heard my mother saying that a high school girl killed herself because she was quirkless.”
Izuku goes ramrod still, he’s not even sure if he’s breathing, fingers tightening around the pencil in his hand. He pointedly stares at the notebook in front of him, ignoring all his classmates, ignoring the lump rising in his throat.
“She jumped off a roof because she didn’t want to be useless anymore. Because no one wants her, no one cares about her.”
The pencil clatters to the floor, but the sound is lost in the outburst of laughter coming from his classmates. Even Kacchan snorts and the room is too hot for Izuku, he can hear his heart in his throat - thump thump thump . He can’t b r e a t h e. And the stark realization that no one wants him to breathe anyway - it slams into him and kick starts his body.
Izuku is flying out of his seat and towards Adachi sensei. “May I use the restroom sensei?” he glances at her for a moment and sees amusement dancing in her eyes. He tenses. She’d been watching, listening, and yet, yet - a sob gets stuck in his throat.
Weak, pathetic, worthless, useless Deku.
“It’s lunch next Midoriya, you can use the restroom then.” she smiles, saccharine sweet and the laughter behind him grows louder.
He presses his trembling lips tightly. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry . And he stays still in his seat, breathing uneven and shallow - even as the heat of Kacchan’s explosions fan his face.
Izuku, on some fundamental level, knows that this is barely the tip of the iceberg. He thinks of how his mother wouldn’t have to worry about money, of how his classmates couldn’t care less if he was reported dead on the news. He thinks of Kacchan and his explosions - searing pain on his skin and Izuku’s knees buckle. He presses his face against the railing and finally allows himself to cry. Alone on this rooftop with no one to hear him, the sobs echo in the wind.
He thinks, most importantly of the high school girl who’d jumped off the roof of a building just like this one. He wonders how many years of pain she’d endured, how strong she must have been to make it all the way to high school. He could hardly make it out of primary school. Weak, pathetic, worthless, useless Deku .
He wants to become a hero but he also wants the pain to stop. No more mean words, no more bruises, no more burns - he wanted - he wanted to be more than just a Deku .
“Kid?”
Izuku startles violently and presses himself against the railing harder, curling upon himself to make him smaller.
“Hey, hey kid it’s alright. I’m a hero, I’m only here to help.”
Izuku slowly peers up at the hero who’s a few feet from him. The man is wearing dark clothes and there’s a roll of bandages nestled around his neck. And he's holding...grocery bags? Izuku frowns, eyebrows drawing together in suspicion. “I love heroes, so I know a lot of them sir.” his voice is thick with tears and he tries to sound more confident “But I’ve never seen you before.”
The man nods and places the grocery bags down “I’m Eraserhead, I’m an underground hero. You’re not supposed to know of me.”
"I know what underground heroes are." Izuku sniffles, wiping his tears away hastily "Do you have proof?”
The man moves his right hand slowly, deliberately so Izuku can follow it, and then he pulls out a card and slides it across the floor of the roof. Izuku picks it up, examines it front, back and side. Once he’s satisfied, he walks up to the man and hands it back.
“So, do you want to tell me what you were doing here kid?” Eraserhead’s voice is gruff, but he raises an eyebrow at him.
He hears Kacchan’s voice in his head “Because you’re a Deku, no one will ever help you, even heroes. You’re a worthless waste of space.”
But this man didn’t know Izuku was quirkless. Still, Izuku thinks that standing on the roof of a random building definitely meant trouble if a hero stopped by to check on him.
“The view is nice Mr.Eraserhead.” he responds quietly, hands fiddling with the straps of his backpack.
He hears the hero sigh “Kid, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me the truth.”
And Izuku flinches at that. A beat later, he comes face to face with the hero and realizes that the hero has crouched down to his height.
“What’s going on kid? You were crying earlier.”
“I’m s-sorry for causing tr-trouble.” he speaks automatically, tears starting to form in his eyes, head hanging low as he stares at his shoes.
“You’re not in trouble and you haven’t caused any either.”
Izuku looks up in surprise “R-really?”
Eraserhead’s face softens as he speaks in a much gentler voice “Really kid. I’m just worried that you’re here alone.”
“Oh.” Izuku blinks and then he looks away guiltily “I-I just had a ba-bad day. I won’t come up here again. I’m sorry for wasting your time, Mr. Eraserhead.”
“You’re not wasting my time kid.” Eraserhead settles down onto the floor, crossing his legs “I’m the one who chose to check in on you, so I’m here because I want to. Okay?”
Izuku nods and then he sits down across from Eraserhead mimicking the older man’s position, he supposes that he's a little tired as well. “Mr.Eraserhead, what’s your quirk?”
Eraserhead looks at him, dark eyes scanning his face and then he says “I can erase a person’s quirk by looking at them.”
Izuku’s jaw drops “That’s so cool!” he yells out and watches as the hero visibly startles.
“So-sorry.” Izuku mumbles out as he hunches in on himself. ("Your muttering is creepy Deku. Are you a villain?")
“Don’t apologize. I didn’t think you would react like that, that’s all.” Eraserhead says gruffly.
“React like what?” Izuku frowns at him, curious.
Eraserhead shakes his head tiredly “How about we do this. For every question I ask you, you get to ask me one.”
Izuku bites his lip, thinks for a moment, and then nods excitedly “Okay.”
“First question, what’s your name?”
“Izuku.” he smiles innocently.
Eraserhead’s lips twitch “Fair enough, I should have been more specific.”
“My turn!” Izuku chirps softly “What's the thing around your neck? I thought they were bandages, but now from up close, it doesn’t look like that Mr.Eraser. Can I call you that? Eraserhead is really long.”
Eraserhead sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose “The thing around my neck is called a capture weapon and it’s made out a carbon alloy, so no, they are not bandages. And yes, you can call me Eraser.”
“A carbon alloy?” Izuku tilts his head and then grins “That’s really cool! Can I write this down?”
Eraser looks a little uncomfortable at the idea “I would prefer you don’t, considering I’m an underground hero.”
Izuku pouts, but then nods “I understand Mr.Eraser.”
“How old are you Izuku?”
“I’m eight. What do you use the capture weapon for?”
“Since my quirk can only erase other quirks, I use my capture weapon and other fighting techniques to fight villains and capture them. Where are your parents? Won’t they be worried, kid?”
“Mom’s working at the hospital and my dad left when I was four.” Izuku answers quietly and he places his backpack in front of him like a barrier. Because his mind is whirring and his thoughts are all jumbled up. Because...he doesn’t understand…
How can... how can Eraserhead be a hero?
“But- but,” Izuku's face scrunches up in confusion and Eraser patiently waits for him to gather his thoughts “Doesn’t that mean,” Izuku starts in a low voice “That you’re basically fighting quirkless ?” he finishes, words barely a whisper.
“I do. So ?” Eraser asks, in the same monotonous voice, but Izuku sees the curiosity in his eyes and hears the edge in his voice.
“Do you - do you think that a quirkless person can become a hero then?” Izuku averts his eyes, hugging his yellow backpack tightly.
The hero watches him carefully for a few moments and then finally speaks slowly, as if trying to make Izuku understand something very important “A quirk is a tool Izuku, it definitely helps to have one as a hero. But that doesn’t make the hero itself. I’m not saying quirkless people can just as easily become heroes, because they definitely have to work ten times harder and they’ll face a lot of obstacles. But ultimately, it's what's in here - ” Eraser taps his forehead - “And what’s in here - ” Eraser taps right over his heart - “That really matters.”
Izuku tries very hard to not cry, to not feel special , but this is the best thing that has ever happened to him and within seconds he’s launched himself at Eraser, backpack flying to the side as he bawls into the hero’s chest.
At first, the hero doesn’t respond, but quickly Izuku is wrapped in a warm embrace and the hero rocks him as he shushes soothingly. “It’s okay Izuku, it’s okay, you’re going to be okay kid.”
After a while, when Izuku is done crying, he hugs Eraser tightly again “Thank you.” he croaks out “I - I was going to jump off the roof because I’m quirkless.”
He feels Eraser stiffen and then his arms wrap around Izuku tightly “Did anyone tell you to?” Eraser’s voice is quiet but he sounds angry.
Izuku nods, burying his face into the crook of Eraser’s neck and somehow Eraser’s grip on him tightens further like he means to never let Izuku go.
“Can you tell me who?”
“A boy in my class said so and everyone else agreed.” Izuku mumbles as he plays with the edge of Eraser’s capture weapon.
“What did the teacher say?”
“She laughed.” Izuku shrugs “Everyone hates me Mr.Eraser.”
“I don’t hate you Izuku.”
Izuku peers up at him and looks at his face for a long while to see if it’s one of those lies adults say to make someone feel better even though they don’t mean it. When he finds only sincerity in Eraser’s face, Izuku beams “Thank you for caring Mr.Eraser. You’re the first one other than mom.”
“Izuku, the way people are treating you is wrong.” Eraser tells him gently as he threads his fingers through Izuku’s curls.
Izuku leans into the touch, it feels very nice and makes Izuku feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside.
“I need you to tell me more, kid, I can’t let you go like this - what I did was how any human being should treat another.”
“It’ll be okay.” Izuku smiles up, patting the man.
Eraser sighs “Alright, let’s get down the building first and then we can talk more.”
Izuku lets go and then puts on his backpack - “ No Mr.Eraser I’m eight, I can walk down the stairs by myself, you don’t have to hold my hand - I walked up here all the way by myself .”
Halfway down the building, he turns back to Eraser “Does this mean you’re my friend now Mr.Eraser?”
Eraser’s lips twitch again and Izuku thinks that’s how Eraser smiles and it makes Izuku feel like he’s accomplished something big. “Yes Izuku, it means we’re friends now. Although, you should have friends your own age kid.”
Izuku hums at that but doesn’t say anything else.
And when they get out to the street, he looks up at Eraser “Mr.Eraser, I’m sorry sir - ”
Eraser opens his mouth to reassure him presumably but Izuku continues without giving him time to respond “You’re the coolest friend I have. I hope I meet you again someday!” and he turns away from the hero and bolts .
He hears Eraser shouting for him and knows that the hero tries chasing after him, but Izuku is small and smart, so he gets back home without getting caught. When he walks into his room and dumps his bag in the corner, he smiles widely - I’m going to be a hero and no one can stop me .