Chapter Text
Efnisien
*
The sound of a door opening. Polly was nearby, sitting on the rug. Efnisien smelled his own vomit and thought Gary had returned. He smelled sap and water, then looked towards the door. The bones in his neck felt like they creaked as they moved. He saw not Gary, not Temsen, but the other peak alpha. Efnisien couldn't remember his name – no wait, Augus. His fear spiked, he scrambled away, and Augus looked composed, confident, assured, and then his nose wrinkled in disgust, and he turned and gagged.
'The reek,' he managed, shoving a hand over his mouth.
Efnisien hid behind the armchair like an idiot, breathing quickly, staring at the glass sliding door. He could run, he wasn't wearing an ankle monitor anymore. But where would he go? Were they giving him to Augus now? Was that it? It wasn't bad enough that Gary was giving up, they were giving him to Augus?
'Stay there,' Augus said, the snap of his alpha persuasion like hands shoving him down. Efnisien's crouch became a clumsy fall to the floorboards. 'Hell. I need to air this place out.'
Augus walking past him and throwing open the sliding door with a shove. Then footsteps walking away, even as Polly bounded around his feet and left Efnisien where he was.
Efnisien heard the bathroom door, water running, more gagging, what sounded like polite, reserved swearing. His ears were tense, listening for whatever might come next, and he wanted to run, but Augus' alpha persuasion was the first he'd experienced at Hillview that sliced at him like Crielle's did. After Gary using directives, after the alpha persuasion, after everything, Efnisien couldn't move.
More windows being opened. The bedroom window, the small bathroom window, and Augus came back with a hand-towel over his mouth and nose and opened the front door and the large window in Gary’s home office. He came back and stood in the lounge, and Efnisien could see the black boots he wore. He didn't even know if they were men's boots. They had heels and lots of buckles and fit snugly against his calves, all the way up to the underside of his knees. Efnisien had never met anyone like him, and stupidly, he wanted Gary back.
A heavy sigh.
'All right,' Augus said to himself. 'All right. Oh, look at you. Can you stand?'
Efnisien nodded. He didn't move. He was pretty sure he could stand, he just couldn't seem to remember how. When Augus took a step towards him, Efnisien scrambled away, hiding between the coffee table and the couch.
He expected Augus to drag him back, but instead Augus took a couple of steps towards him then stopped again.
'I can't remember the last time I had to deal with pheromones this bad,' Augus said, sounding disgusted. Efnisien wanted to apologise. 'Leaving you in here while his scent was up like this? Of course you were sick. We need to leave, Efnisien. You can't stay here.'
They were getting rid of him.
Efnisien blinked down at the rug, eyes wet, and he heard Polly panting happily by Augus' side.
Augus walked around the other side of the couch, so he was no longer facing Efnisien's back. He knelt down gracefully and placed his hands on his knees.
'Look at me, Efnisien.'
There was no alpha persuasion in his voice, but Efnisien didn't feel like he had a choice. He looked at Augus, who seemed not annoyed, but troubled. He was pale, he held the hand-towel up by his face. The room was getting colder now all the windows were open.
'It's my fault,' Efnisien said, voice breaking.
'Yes, well, that's neither here nor there. I heard he issued a directive?'
Efnisien stared at him, tears spilling down his face. Augus' smile was sad.
'You are rather pretty, aren't you? For an alpha. Can you stand?'
Efnisien nodded again but didn't stand.
Augus nodded too. He stood and reached out, grabbing Efnisien by the back of his clothing before he could get away.
'No, you don't,' Augus said. 'We're standing. Up we get.'
Efnisien was hoisted onto his feet. He grunted, knees not quite locking at first. He bared his teeth when Augus placed careful fingertips at his waist, his shoulder, keeping him steady. But he couldn't make eye contact.
'Yes, I know, this is all rather awful,' Augus said, his voice modulated. In fact, he'd been using nearly the same tone for a while, except in the beginning when he'd been taken aback by Gary's scent.
They were going to kill him, maybe. Gary couldn't do it because he was too soft. Temsen couldn't do it because he was a doctor who wrote nonsense about omega rights. But there was no reason Augus couldn't do it. Efnisien's trembling doubled, and Augus made a sound, like he wasn't impressed, and Efnisien thought it wasn't fair people found him annoying when they were going to kill him anyway.
'Stay here a moment,' Augus said, even as he hooked his fingers into the back of Efnisien's jumper, making it clear he was going to keep him still if necessary. Efnisien didn't know why he didn't use alpha persuasion. He’d seemed so comfortable with it a moment ago.
Augus pulled his phone out of his pocket, held it to his ear.
'Temsen? Mm. I have him. ...Not good, I'm afraid. Pheromones like you would not believe. It's like a bomb's been set off. No, no, I mean the scent, the house looks... There's a shattered cup in the kitchen, and Efnisien's been sick - not that I blame him - but everything else is in order. I've been through the whole house to open it up.'
A pause. Efnisien thought about how easy it had been to shatter the teacup. How he'd known it belonged to James. How he'd known it would destroy Gary. Every single thing Gary said was true, he was a worthless little monster. Gary had even predicted Efnisien would feel guilty about it with the disgust of someone who was tired of it all. Efnisien hadn't realised it would be so easy to cross these lines with Gary.
Absently, he wiped at his nose and face with the back of his hand.
'Yes, I can deal with him,' Augus said.
They really were going to kill him.
Efnisien thought he should protest more. Shouldn't he want to live? But there was no urge to run, especially now Augus wasn't hurting him. Efnisien had a headache, his thoughts were severed from the rest of his body and floated above him. He had to reach for every single one, they drifted away again soon after. He didn't exactly want to die. He just knew why they had to do it. They'd met him. They understood now, like Crielle did. A failed experiment.
'Upset,' Augus said. 'Traumatised. And how's Gary?'
Efnisien paid more attention.
'Ah, I see. No, that's not good either. No, well... How's his heart? Ah. Hospitalisation?'
Efnisien stared at Augus with wide eyes, and Augus returned the look steadily. The eye contact was too much. Efnisien looked away again.
'So you're monitoring him? All right. How likely is it that we'll have to get him to the hospital? ...I see. Damn. All right.'
Maybe they were going to kill Efnisien because Gary was going to have a heart attack. Efnisien squeezed his eyes shut. Why didn't he ever think? He'd just felt so awful, and he’d needed to... He’d needed to...
Why had he done it like that? Gary had looked so shattered, so betrayed. He hadn't known to expect it. Efnisien didn't know what it would feel like, doing that to him, hearing those words from his own mouth, and then suddenly he knew too much about the world and it was too late to shove it all back inside.
Augus’ hand hooked into the back of his jumper shifted and became a hand resting flat and warm between his shoulder blades, rubbing slowly. It unlocked something inside of him, and he started to take a deep breath, then turned, bent over, and threw up again. Strings of bile dripped from his mouth, he stared at where it had landed on the rug. He took another breath in, then retched so hard he thought his stomach would fall out of him.
'Just a moment, Temsen,' Augus was saying softly, like everything was fine. 'No, I know- Just- Hang on...'
Augus stepped closer to Efnisien.
'Be calm, Efnisien. Come now, you'll have plenty of time to panic later. But the scent is clearing, and there's no need for this, is there?'
Efnisien nodded weakly. He felt calmer, a lot more relaxed about the fact that they were going to kill him. After all, Efnisien had attempted to kill Kadek, and then he'd basically done the same to Gary without thinking about it.
'How are you going to kill me?' Efnisien said, still wiping at his mouth when he looked at Augus.
A long silence. Augus seemed...shocked. He blinked at Efnisien a few times. The expression didn't suit him.
'Did you hear that?' Augus said, and Efnisien thought Augus was talking to him, then realised he was talking to Temsen. 'Yes? Ah- Yes, of course. Efnisien, did Gary tell you that you were going to be killed?'
Efnisien frowned. Had he said that? Maybe he had, and it was silly that Efnisien didn't know. He couldn’t quite remember.
'What was the directive for?' Augus said suddenly, sharply. 'What order did Gary give you?'
'Not to... Not to hurt myself,' Efnisien said.
'All right. Yes. You heard that too? Mm. No, it's all right. I can- Yes, we'll leave now. I just want to sort some of this out. The persuasion? It's not holding for very long, I have to say. I think this is the best we can probably expect. He might respond better to you. But you know who he'll respond to best out of all three of us. Yes. Can't be helped I suppose. All right, I'll see you soon.'
Augus hung up, pocketed the phone, and studied Efnisien like he was a science project.
'I'm not here to kill you, Efnisien. The only people I've killed have truly deserved it.'
Efnisien frowned in confusion. Augus...had killed people?
'Don't you worry,' Augus said softly. 'They were the kinds of alphas who didn't especially deserve to live, and the courts agreed with me. Not that they had much choice, given my designation and what have you. Peak alphas do ever so well in a courtroom, don't they? Hilarious, when you think about it. My brother became a lawyer. It should be illegal for peak alphas to become lawyers.'
'I'm that kind of alpha, the bad kind,' Efnisien said.
'The kind I've killed? No, I can assure you that you're not. Nice try. I'm coming closer now, I'm not going to hurt you. But I thought I'd give you a heads up.'
Augus did come closer, and Efnisien tensed when Augus gently placed an arm around his back and held him in a light embrace. The touch was confusing, and Efnisien had instincts to fight back, to go still, to run, to bite. His breathing sped up.
'Shhh. You've been traumatised, Efnisien. Gary's in an ardolphogen rage, which you might not have encountered before.'
Oh no, Efnisien knew all about those. Gwyn used to have them. Maybe that was why the numbness and the nausea felt so familiar.
'Whatever you did was likely one more thing in a list of things that was waiting to set him off,' Augus said, his voice hushed now they were so close. He actually had kind of a nice voice - sinister as fuck, but still...nice. 'We're not going to kill you. We're removing you from Gary's cottage for your safety, and his safety. It might be temporary, it might not, and that part will be difficult, because you've both started the bonding process.'
Efnisien shook his head.
'You have,' Augus said firmly. 'I don't like being argued with. Now, I don't know how much you're taking in, at the moment, but I'm going to take you to Temsen's office.'
'Gary's office,' Efnisien whispered.
He saw Augus' slow smile from the corner of his eye. 'I suppose it is. But these days, it's very much Temsen's office. I'm going to take you there, and Temsen is going to decide what to do with you. It won't be murder. Honestly. We're not barbarians. Is that the kind of thing you've been raised to expect from people?'
Efnisien nodded blankly. He wasn't quite sure why he’d answered Augus' question. Vaguely, distantly, he thought this might be like the thing Gary did sometimes. There was something in Augus' voice – sweet and pleasant – it promised only comfort if Efnisien did what he said. Efnisien shivered and sniffed a few times, feeling taken advantage of. It was fine when Gary did it, but Augus doing it made him feel so weak, so stupid. Was this what everyone had been doing to him all his life? Crielle and Gwyn too? He couldn't recall.
'Please stop,' Efnisien said, voice strained.
There was no reason for Augus to stop. He was the last person who would ever care about what Efnisien had to say.
'Hm? What am I doing?'
'That thing peak alphas do,' Efnisien whispered. 'That thing.'
'Caught out, I'm afraid,' Augus said, laughing and moving back slightly. Even that released some of the pressure winding around Efnisien's mind. 'Almost no one can tell we're doing it. You're sensitive, then. I apologise. I was trying to reassure you. But let's stop if I'm only achieving the opposite. Still, we know the persuasions do their job at least. Be calm, Efnisien.'
The nausea, the fear, the dread, it all slowly wafted away. Efnisien took a slow, deep breath, then another, and his shoulders sagged. Maybe he should be angry about the alpha persuasion, but he needed to feel this so desperately he hardly cared.
'Good lad,' Augus said, smiling at him. 'That's lovely. Come on, we're going for a walk across the grounds. It's a lovely day, and you could always do with a bit more sunlight. Should Polly come with us? We wouldn't want her to get porcelain in her paws.'
'Maybe I should clean up.'
'No, that can wait,' Augus said. ‘I'll send one of the staff over. Do you need to bring anything with you?'
Efnisien thought about his tablet, his new clothes, and the idea of having to find a bag to put those items in and take them with him was so crushing he couldn't bear it. He frowned when Augus made a low sound of amusement.
'It's nothing really,' Augus said, 'just marvelling at how much my alpha persuasion doesn't affect you. Come along, Efnisien. I think Polly's just going to follow us.'
'She's a...good dog,' Efnisien said, looking down at her. He reached out to lightly pet her forehead, and she gazed up at him and didn't seem upset at all. Efnisien knew from his research that dogs could get stressed when their owners were stressed, but maybe Polly was so used to Gary's intense emotions that nothing really affected her anymore, she was just happy to be around people.
Efnisien numbly followed Augus. He kept thinking it should be night, for some reason. The day was brutally cheerful in its intensity. He wrapped his arms around his torso and wondered if Augus was angry at him for taking him away from his omega once more. At least Augus wasn't being mean today. He was like a chameleon. Maybe he was whatever he needed to be depending on the situation. Efnisien would never forget the way Augus had stalked towards him that first time, dropping him with a command.
He didn't think Augus' alpha persuasion was weak at all, maybe it wasn't working as well today because Efnisien's mind was still recovering from an issued directive. Even if it had been rescinded soon after, he still felt dislocated from himself, and the headache he had wasn't getting any better.
As they approached the main buildings, Efnisien slowed and then stopped, biting at his bottom lip as he watched Polly running around some flower beds before she crouched and urinated on a flower. Her tail wagged gaily as she trotted off to stick her nose into a sculpted shrub nearby. A willie wagtail chittered angrily at her.
'Why are you being so nice to me?' Efnisien said, when Augus stopped and came back, not using persuasion to force him to move.
'You can't see yourself,' Augus said. 'You're doing a fine job of looking rather pathetic.'
Pathetic and worthless.
That's what Gary called him. Efnisien nodded mechanically and wondered what his life would be like if he wasn't living with Gary anymore. He thought of sleeping in a bed alone - something he'd preferred all his life - and it was like a structure began collapsing inside his chest.
'Temsen's waiting for you,' Augus said, 'and he can assess for himself how you're doing. I know this isn't easy, and I also know I can't fathom how challenging this whole situation has been for you. Especially after today. Directives are nasty, and I'm sorry you've had to experience one yet again.'
'I'm used to it,' Efnisien said absently. And then: 'Also, I think...maybe I kind of deserved it.'
'You'll be hard-pressed to find someone who agrees with you, which is likely why Gary reversed it himself.'
Augus walked on ahead, and Efnisien followed, taking slower breaths, trying to calm the nausea that churned within.