Chapter Text
Efnisien
*
The position was humiliating and Efnisien hated it. He wasn't sure which was worse, being on his front would remind him of Gwyn mounting him, and being on his back with Gary between his legs reminded him of when they put his feet in stirrups. But no one - no one his entire life - had ever touched Efnisien the way Gary was touching him now.
'Easy,' Gary said again, and Efnisien gasped hoarsely when a thick index finger pushed through his entrance, sliding deeply into him. Efnisien locked up, his voice broke, and he was afraid. That really- that really reminded him of...
Efnisien's face screwed up, and Gary didn't remove the index finger but kept it there, so deep Efnisien could feel the knuckle at the base of the finger.
'I know,' Gary said way too gently for someone who'd just talked about desecrating his fucking insides. Whatever.
'Hate you,' Efnisien managed.
'I know you're scared,' Gary said. 'Does it hurt?'
It was uncomfortable. It was acute. It felt like having to go to the toilet, and it felt like a medical exam. It felt gross, and weird. It felt big. It felt...
Gary's laugh was know-it-all bullshit. 'I can know when you’re in pain, Efnisien, and you're not in any real pain, are you? But we know your tolerance levels are high, so come now, Efnisien. Tell me. Does it hurt?'
Efnisien opened his mouth, then glared at Gary, then twitched all over when Gary's finger shifted and turned inside of him.
'Don't,' Efnisien said.
'You have to talk to me,' Gary said, his expression clearing, like he was coming out of some kind of trance. 'I know you hate how mortifying this is. I really need to know if it's painful. Let me... I'll prompt you. Is it uncomfortable?'
Efnisien hesitated, then nodded. It wasn't just his cheeks that were burning with mortification, but his ears and the top of his head as well.
'All right, thank you,' Gary said, which felt pacifying. That finger hardly moved after it turned. Gary rubbed Efnisien's ribs gently. 'Does it remind you of Crielle?'
Efnisien nodded. 'A little. More than before.'
Gary nodded too. And then his expression did something, like anger or disgust, and Efnisien felt so horribly sensitive to that he tensed. Gary stroked his fingers over Efnisien's navel, the skin there sensitive, jerking involuntarily.
'I'm not angry with you,' Gary said. 'These things should never remind you of a family member.'
'Says the fucking guy who talks about her when we're doing this.'
Gary looked caught out, and Efnisien clawed at his arm, teeth grinding down.
'You're such a cunt,' Efnisien said.
'Yes,' Gary said, looking amused, pleased, and nodding. 'Well. Discomfort is normal. The stretching of the muscle here...' -Gary moved his finger back to Efnisien's entrance, and pushed against it, like he could work it open with insistent nudges. '...This is where we expect most of the pain to be initially. Then a bit deeper, where the internal sphincter can lock in.'
Gary's finger slid a bit deeper and felt around. Efnisien knew he was searching for scarring, trying to figure out what it was like in there. Efnisien felt the pressure, and he felt the movement of Gary's finger at his entrance, but it wasn't... It wasn't as terrible as he was expecting for someone who talked a pretty big game about destroying his partners.
And then Efnisien remembered how different the first and second hand-jobs were. The first had been overwhelming, but the second - with the spitting, the conversation - obliterated him. The rest had been like that second one.
'The next point of pain you can encounter in anal sex if you're not having to worry about tearing, is the pubo-rectal sling.'
Efnisien hated that he found it reassuring when Gary talked to him like this. Hated it even more that it made his body feel hotter inside, like liquid, because even though Crielle treated him like a scientific specimen all her life, Gary going out of his way to educate Efnisien about his own body and sex, made it harder to breathe evenly.
'You have additional things to worry about,' Gary said, looking down at Efnisien's torso. He was concentrating. 'First, we'll find the scar tissue.'
Efnisien held his breath as Gary's finger pushed deep, this time curling back, carefully pressing in, searching. Efnisien was waiting for sharp stabs of pain, the ones that had been a part of his life what felt like nearly forever until Temsen had done more surgery on him. But Gary's breathing paused, then he exhaled audibly.
'There,' he said.
Efnisien didn't feel anything more than pressure and the dull ache of discomfort.
'Oh,' Gary said, as his finger moved across a section. 'She- I thought she would have made two incisions to remove the glands. There's just one...one big one across the prostate. This is-' He cleared his throat, brown eyes intense. 'You've endured monstrous things. Truly.'
Efnisien didn't know what to say. Gary's feelings about this stuff, especially now, even after his teasing and his meanness, they seemed so sincere.
'The scarring is bad,' Gary admitted reluctantly. 'It feels rough, and it's knotted in some sections. Unfortunately this is the section I have to explore the most, because scar tissue doesn't stretch like other tissue, and there could be nerve damage. I'll go slow.'
Efnisien forced himself to nod. He almost wanted Gary to be a dickhead at a time like this, confident and unconcerned. But at least Gary was talking to him, because Crielle only really ever talked to her staff, even when Efnisien was spread with a speculum, and she had her fingers and manicured fingernails inside him.
'Your fear spiked,' Gary said softly. 'Memories?'
'You don't have to keep pointing it out.'
'Today I do,' Gary said. 'At least right now. I know you don't like answering all the questions, but...what might occur between us down the track will be overwhelming without any of your health complications. I may be reckless in how I talk; I may be reckless even in how I treat you, but I would hate to seriously harm you in this. I need to know.'
Efnisien swallowed, then looked away.
'Let's continue,' Gary said. 'But first...'
He withdrew his finger and pushed back with two, slower than before, and Efnisien's lips thinned. Two fingers - index and middle - stung at his entrance, not as bad as the speculum used to when it was widened, but bad enough. Gary made a hushing sound, moved his fingers back and forth, and the sting began to ease. The stretching sensation never faded though, never felt easy, and as Gary pushed deeper, Efnisien wondered if he maybe just wasn't meant to handle being fucked in general.
Gary's fingers pushed all the way in, rested for a moment, and then began to search slowly, by increments, pressure moving up into him.
'Your prostate is here,' Gary said.
He pushed up into a specific area and Efnisien stared up at the ceiling blankly, one of his legs straightening. It was at first a dull urgency to pee, he felt pressure, a strangeness in his bladder, and then heat in his dick. His eyes sank shut. It wasn't... It wasn't comfortable. Was it meant to be? It wasn't pain, exactly, but Efnisien thought it could be if someone touched it too much.
Gary's fingers pressed harder, and Efnisien made a shocked sound, hand dropping down to press protectively over his stomach, only to knock into Gary's arm.
Gary grasped Efnisien’s hand, and kept pushing into his prostate.
'Painful?' Gary asked.
Efnisien didn't know what to say.
Gary hummed. 'Is it uncomfortable?'
Efnisien nodded quickly.
'More than the stretch of me entering you with two fingers?'
God... God fucking damn it.
Efnisien nodded.
'Do you think you'd call that pain?'
'It's just...a lot,' Efnisien said, his voice strained.
'Mm. That's...' Gary's voice wasn't solicitous then, but darker, and Efnisien shivered. 'Good. Deeper pressure now, Efnisien.'
It was a sharp spreading thing that entangled him, Efnisien's mouth opened, his bladder seemed to do something – a clench or spasm – the base of his dick felt it. Efnisien felt a bead of sweat drip down the back of his neck in a warm tickle.
'Lovely,' Gary said roughly. 'Can't scent any pain on you. It's overwhelming, isn't it? That's good. It's supposed to be. We'll come back to that. Good to know the scarring doesn't seem to have damaged you here at least.'
Efnisien couldn't even acknowledge him. What was he supposed to say?
'Let's check the lare bodies now.'
A wave of nausea as Gary's fingers shifted and pressed to the side of that thing - his prostate - that had lit him up from the inside. And Efnisien's forehead creased because it was a threatening discomfort now. Gary watched him closely, like he knew he was looking for bombs.
His fingers moved incredibly slowly, sometimes rubbing minutely over an area, like he was checking something. A tiny shift deep inside him, and Efnisien's body locked up as pain burst over him like a water balloon, frigid and everywhere at once.
'Sh-shhh.' Gary was closer. He hadn't moved his fingers from that spot, and Efnisien cried out, trying to get him to understand that it hurt.
'Stop it,' Efnisien said.
'Can you bear it?'
'I don't want to.'
'Here's the thing,' Gary said, keeping his fingers in place even as Efnisien tried to twist his hips away. 'This is nerve damage, I suspect, for this kind of pain response. Efnisien, my cock will apply more pressure than this.'
'Poor you,' Efnisien choked out. 'Just don't fuck me then!'
He cried silently, and Gary bent down and kissed the corner of his eye, before licking at the tears with small, soft strokes. Efnisien snapped teeth at him, and Gary didn't goad him or laugh, but he kept his fucking fingers in place.
It went on for way too long, but eventually the pain stopped jangling like an alarm. It almost settled, and Efnisien moaned weakly. His hand pulled free from Gary's and he covered his face again, his next exhale coming in a sob.
'I hate it,' he said.
'Your scent isn't as high as it's been,' Gary said, 'but your pain tolerance is off the charts. There's a ridge of scar tissue here, it's easy to find and at least avoid while fingering. It might be possible to desensitise the area over time. Here, is this better?'
His fingers shifting off that spot, and Efnisien nodded reflexively, even though the pain didn't vanish, only settled into a dark ache. But then there was more pressure over his prostate, and Efnisien's voice broke again, because the feeling of it was thicker now, like wax in his blood, at the base of his dick, moving like lava through him. One of his thighs fell outwards.
'You can relax if you want to,' Gary said. 'It's allowed.'
'Shut up.'
'All right. If you had to rate the pain of before - the nerve pain - on a scale of one to ten, with ten being the highest, where would it fall?'
'Like a six,' Efnisien rasped.
Gary sighed. 'That's both good and quite damning for your past experiences. With continued pressure did it stay at a six? Go up? Down?'
'Maybe a five,' Efnisien said.
'That's great. Thank you. You're doing well. Let's see what else we can find.'
'Yeah, my ass is not a fucking scavenger hunt.'
Gary chuckled through closed lips, and then did something deep inside him, past his prostate, that felt electric and tense and strange. Efnisien’s gasp was strangled, his hips jerked. Gary must have been alert to it because his fingers pressed harder, then harder again, and Efnisien knew some of it was pain. He knew it was. But his knees dropped outwards, his mouth opened, sweat broke out all over him as he sucked down air. He made a stupid sound, one he'd be embarrassed to think about later, but that pressure wasn't even like his prostate. It was alive in a different way entirely, and when Gary's fingers shifted slightly, still keeping up that horribly intense pressure, Efnisien’s dick began to harden.
'Amazing,' Gary said to himself. 'You've loosened a little. I think this might be... Do you remember when Temsen said the lare body was much bigger than the lare glands? So that even if the glands are removed, branches of the lare body remain? During your first heat, he had me massaging your back to try and get to them, but he much preferred this route instead. It's the most direct route we have.'
Efnisien wanted to be embarrassed, he wanted to scream, but he was locked in an almost blank space of sensation. He felt like he needed more of that pressure inside of him, and his hips rocked in a way that had Gary responding and pressing down harder, moving his fingers.
'Fuck,' Efnisien sobbed. 'Fuck, stop it.'
'No,' Gary said. 'Aren't you lucky though? Not just your prostate, but this as well? It would have felt even better if she hadn't removed the glands themselves, but you've still got enough lare body left to know a taste of it. I've heard it's meant to be quite intense. A knot against the lare body? Thirty minutes of fullness and pressure even more intense than this? What do you think?'
Efnisien wasn't thinking. Gary seemed fascinated with what he'd discovered, and Efnisien didn't even have time to stress out about the fact that Gary was playing with a leftover organ that made him enough of an omega that Crielle cut him open to get rid of it. He was mindless, he felt stupid with it, but he couldn't even concentrate on that.
And then Gary's fingers spread, and his index finger hit that point of pain inside him, while his other finger stayed dug into what remained of the lare body behind one of the lare glands that had been removed. Efnisien shouted, writhed backwards quickly, dislodging Gary's fingers, unable to handle the sensations.
Gary pinned him down at the sternum.
'No,' he said, voice rough. 'Your pain's barely spiked. This is just overwhelming. That's not a good enough reason to get away from me.'
Fingers thrusting roughly back into him, Gary spreading his own thighs and keeping Efnisien's legs open and apart, and then that hideous dual pressure on the pain point and the place where pleasure and intensity were liquefying his thoughts. Efnisien shouted, clawed at Gary's arm where it pinned him, and then warbled out some kind of sound that was meant to be a protest as Gary began to slide his fingers back and forth. The spot that caused the pain was awful, Efnisien couldn't tell if the sweating was based in nausea and chills or a mind-numbing deep pleasure. His dick was hard. He wanted to tear out his own hair. At one point his teeth slammed together, he keened, and Gary not only didn't stop, but pressed harder, rhythmically, making a low sound of satisfaction when Efnisien's heels drummed into the bed.
'Good,' Gary said. 'Good boy.'
Efnisien opened his mouth and replied with a cry.
'We're not even targeting your prostate, this is wonderful. Am I being cruel? I know some of this is painful. Remember when I said you weren't ready for me?'
Conversation wasn't going to happen. Nothing reciprocal anyway. Efnisien was shuddering bodily, over and over again, and the muscles in his thighs trembled. His breathing shook heavily.
'Here,' Gary said, wrapping a hand around Efnisien's dick. When he started jacking him off, Efnisien shouted. Gary laughed. 'You're going to be this easy? Aren't I hurting you?'
'Fuck- Fuck-' He couldn't manage the rest.
'I'll finish the sentences. How about I imagine them for you. Fuck me, I'm a monster, why am I even doing this? I don't have to fuck you at all, hm, maybe even...it's too much. It really looks like it is, Efnisien. I can't remember the last time you were this incoherent without being in the kind of pain that makes everyone drop everything to make it stop. This is mild for you. Do you think it's still a five? Now, now, don't try to get away. It's just an orgasm. You've had them before.'
Whimpers at the top of every exhale, and Gary's hand was relentless between his legs, on his dick, and Efnisien wanted to scream, felt it trying to fill his lungs on every inhale. He felt like Gary had fingers in his organs. The pleasure-pain of it was so sharp, like a knife at the base of his dick, in his bladder, spreading up through him until he could feel it in his shoulders. He kicked to try and get away, one last time, and Gary doubled down with all of it - faster, harder - and Efnisien keened again behind closed teeth, back arching, one hand clawing at the blanket, the other slamming down over his own mouth.
It wasn't like any orgasm he'd had with Gary before. It whited out his thoughts, turned him into spasms that jerked his hips up into Gary's touch. And Gary was saying shit to him in that soothing, goading tone, and Efnisien didn't care about any of it. The sensations laid him out, and Gary groaned at some point, the sound both terrifying and good. Hadn't Efnisien been worried that he didn't like it? Gary fucking loved it, and it wasn’t as reassuring as he thought it would be.
All too quickly, the sensations turned from a kind of pleasure that any reasonable person would try and escape, to a fractious, overused pain. Efnisien's mind cleared a little, he opened his eyes, protesting with his expression because he couldn't find the words.
'I know,' Gary said, in faux-consolation, because he wasn't stopping. He knew exactly what he was doing. He'd at least let go of Efnisien's dick, but he kept his fingers in place. 'One more.'
Efnisien shook his head.
'You feel it, don't you? The lare body isn't like the prostate, or even your cock. And I can feel it now, because the lare body gets engorged with enough stimulation. Do you feel it? That organ branches all the way through you. Does it hurt?'
Efnisien nodded, tears slipping free from his eyes.
'One more.'
'Can't,' Efnisien said, panting. 'Can't.'
'Mm. Never say never with a peak alpha. You might as well give in, Efnisien, because I'll have another orgasm from you whether you like it or not.'
A dark heat washing over him, but even that wasn't enough to make it tolerable. He struggled, and Gary pinned him down and moved his fingers more insistently inside him. He made a growling noise and heard the word 'alpha' in Gary's next sentence. A few minutes later he tried to bite into air, and Gary hushed him and didn't stop. The sensations were ramping, a pooling, bloating thing filling him out, making him feel like his skin was going to split. It was unlike anything he'd ever known, and he knew it was an orgasm, but he couldn't feel it in his dick in the same way as before.
'We're going to need to work on your stamina,' Gary said. 'I think I'll talk to Lachlan about...'
It just kept building, and then came a point where his body couldn't turn back. The shaking encompassed him, from his legs to the random twitches in his face. Gary was close, surrounding him, and Efnisien needed it, craved it, reached up and dug fingers into Gary's back and shirt and clung on.
The orgasm when it came felt like it tore him open and split him apart. He wailed, Gary bit at his collarbone hard enough to be one more point of intensity and pain amongst it all, and Efnisien exhaled hard enough that he thought he might be sick.
Instead, he dropped into unconsciousness, shoved there by a pleasure-pain so intense he'd never felt anything like it in his life, his exhausted body letting his mind drop into beckoning darkness.