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Chapter Text

“Achoo!”

Arthur groans. The light was blinding him and his nose was clogged. He blinked his sore eyes open and rubbed them. There was a purring sound and the feeling of a weight on his chest. It took Arthur a moment to understand what he was seeing.

There was a cat, curled up on his chest. A black cat with a ridiculous red neckerchief around its neck and twitching ears. It would be adorable if Arthur wasn’t so pissed.

Arthur grimaced. He was certain this was Merlin’s doing. That neckerchief, red and rough looking, was definitely Merlin’s. That concluded that the cat was Merlin’s as well. Arthur groaned. “MERlin!” Arthur took a pillow from his right and put it over his head. He only lifts it when he deems it way too long for Merlin to respond. “MERLIN!”

The cat completely ignored him and kept purring against his chest. Arthur couldn’t tell if Merlin had done this on purpose, - he wouldn’t put it past him - or if Merlin just left the door open and the cat had slipped in unnoticed. Arthur raised his head slightly and saw that the door was, in fact, open. He let his head fall back on the pillow. Merlin hadn’t woken him - again. The sun stood way too high - again. Arthur was late… again. Arthur groans. “MERLIN!!!!!!”

“Achoo!!”

Did I mention that Arthur was allergic to cats? Alright, it was a mild allergy. He only got sore eyes and a stuffy nose and the itch to sneeze. It wasn’t technically life threatening but Arthur would still consider this an act treason if it wasn’t his clumsy manservant who was responsible for it.

The light brightened a bit with the clouds moving past and the cat stretched itself before starting to lick its paw. What, pray tell, was Arthur supposed to do? He was being held at sword point by a cat! He couldn’t possibly move! It took a couple more minutes before the cat deemed Arthur ready for release and jumped off the bed. Arthur immediately used the chance to get up himself. He stumbled into his trousers and shrugged on a shirt - possibly the wrong way around -, slammed the door to his room shut and hurried down to the physician’s chambers.

He burst into the room, only half embarrassed at how many servants had pointed at him and pressed themselves to the walls in order to avoid standing in his path. This was all Merlin’s fault and Arthur would definitely punish him for it later. Arthur wondered what would be more satisfying: The stocks, or letting him muck out the stables. “MERLIN!” Arthur wasted no time shouting for Merlin, but Gaius, the court physician, only lazily lifted his head.

“Good afternoon, Sire.”

“Where is my useless manservant?!”

Gaius averted his gaze to focus back on his book. “I’m afraid I haven’t seen him since yesterday evening, my lord.”

Arthur clenched his teeth. “There is a CAT in my room! I want it gone this second!”

Gaius used a single raised brow. It was very effective. “He said something about game night.”

“Game night? He’s at the tavern, isn’t he!” Arthur puffed out a deep breath. “How come, out of all the kings in Albion, I HAD to be given the one manservant who doesn’t care about his job, disappears whenever he wants and is also an alcoholic!”

“You could always fire him.”

Arthur opened his mouth, then closed it like a fish. Gaius didn’t just say that! Of all the people in the castle, shouldn’t GAIUS be the one person defending Merlin? “I- why would- how dare- !” Arthur raised his pointer finger, but ended up not saying anything sensible. “He’d be homeless!”

Gaius smiled privately to himself. “He’s my apprentice, remember?” Gaius flipped a page. “And my ward. He wouldn’t be homeless and he wouldn’t be out of a job. You don’t have to worry about him.”

Arthur stared at the table and blinked once. “I want him to attend to me for dinner! Make sure he’s there!” With that, Arthur stormed out of the room and shut the door loudly. His ears were burning and he felt the strange urge to bang his head against the next wall.

Arthur’s pace didn’t falter until he almost bumped into Gwaine on his way back to his rooms. Arthur startled to a stop, only half surprised to find a ginger haired man hanging off of Gwaine’s side. “Hello, Sir Gwaine.”

Gwaine beamed at him. “Heyo, princess. What’s up?” He took a look at Arthur and his expression twisted into a mischievous grin. “Based on your rumped shirt, your state of hair and your mood, I’m guessing Merlin’s gone again?”

Arthur’s frown deepened. “According to your happy smile and the man by your side, I assume you had a fun night at the tavern?”

Gaius snapped his fingers at him. “Touché.”

The man next to him flushed furiously. “M-my lord! It’s not what it looks like!”

Gwaine patted his shoulder. “Oh no, it’s exactly what it looks like. Princess here doesn’t mind, do you?”

Arthur frowned. “I couldn’t care less about who you spend the night with, Gwaine! Could you do me a favor and fetch Merlin from the tavern? He didn't come back to Gaius’ last night and he never woke me up!” Arthur covered his face, unwilling to imagine what Gwaine and his newest boyfriend had been up to last night.

Gwaine’s expression immediately shifted. “What do you mean from the tavern? Where do you think I came from just now?”

Arthur narrowed his eyes. “You don’t have to hide it from me, Gwaine. Gaius told me that he went to ‘game night’ with you guys. I know what that means.”

“I’m sorry, you know what ‘what’ means? We do have game nights but first of all, they are on Tuesdays, today is Monday! Secondly, he’s never joined us! And lastly, Merlin was not at the tavern last night. I would know! I keep asking him and he always refuses to come!”

Arthur stared at him and his face faltered. “What are you talking about? Merlin spends all his free time at the tavern -”

Gwaine’s eyes widened. “At what tavern? Certainly not any I’ve been to!”

A deep, rooted fear suddenly took hold of Arthur. “Wait- but then…” Arthur paled. “Gaius always says -”

“Oh!” Gwaine paused, suddenly nodding and tilting his head in thought. “I see how it is!” He hit his flat palm with a fist. “Gaius has been lying to you!”

“WHAT?” Arthur noticed how the man by Gwaine’s side seemed increasingly less comfortable with their conversation. “Why on earth would he lie?”

“Maybe Merlin is seeing someone and didn’t want you to know and Gaius is covering for him!”

Arthur froze. “Merlin!” No, no no no! Merlin was not a flirt! If anything, he’d be very serious about a relationship, he’d never hide it from - Why wouldn’t he hide it from Arthur? Arthur would only make fun of him. A twisting feeling nagged at Arthur’s insides and he frowned at nothing in particular.

Gwaine grinned. “It makes sense, doesn’t it? Him, always disappearing at random hours. Staying there over night, no one knowing where he is. Whoever he’s with, they must be really important to him.”

Arthur caught himself thinking ‘what’s more important than your king?’, then nodded at himself. That was Merlin’s voice in his head because Merlin was the person always saying that! He always said it in the most dire situations, so it must be true. “There must be something else.”

“Excuse me, Sire -” The ginger haired man suddenly spoke up, sounding rather nervous. “Is Merlin that servant who everyone is talking about?”

“People talk about my manservant?” Arthur frowned incredulously. “Must be a different Merlin.”

The man shook his head quickly. “Oh no no. Merlin, the king’s manservant. That’s him. He’s a legend among us servants! He’s very kind and very protective of you. The cook hates him because Merlin doesn’t like her pies.” He flushed again and cleared his throat. “Anyway, the legend says that he always disappears just before something magical happens. One of the maids told me that she used to believe he were the culprit. But as soon as he returns, she says, all problems in Camelot somehow solve themselves. They say he’s a trouble magnet at first glance, but a lucky charm the second. No one can make sense of it.”

Gwaine nodded thoughtfully. “Oh, yeah. I heard that too. I heard from noble guests that they are very wary of him, too. He has this sense around him - like he would crush anyone who comes too close to Arthur.”

Arthur looked from one person to the other. “Are we still talking about the same Merlin?”

Both of them ignored him. “Wait. If Merlin disappeared now, doesn’t that imply that something magical is going to happen soon?”

Arthur blinked. The servant at Gwaine’s side widened his eyes. “Oh! Man. That could totally be the first sign! I should warn the others! It’s been a while. It’s been so peaceful since King Arthur’s assumed the throne!” Gwaine clapped him on the shoulder once more and soon the man was gone.

Gwaine sighed. “Good lad, that one.” He turned back to Arthur. “Have you seen anything strange lately?”

Arthur didn’t know what to say. He lost the plot somewhere during their conversation. “What?”

“Something weird? Something that’s unusual! Possibly magical! Maybe there has been an attack and someone was turned into a frog or something!” Gwaine grabbed Arthur by the jacket. “Merlin might be out there, collecting all the frogs to safely return them so when the curse breaks they will all be turned back!” Tears gathered in his eyes and Gwaine throws himself theatrically backwards so Arthur had to catch him so that he won’t fall.

“Don’t you think that’s a bit outlandish?”

Gwaine straightened his back. “Princess, I do not joke about magic! Last time Merlin disappeared without a trace, someone let loose a can of pixies!”

“And what makes you think it wasn’t Merlin who let them loose?”

Gwaine nearly throttled him with the jacket. “Why won’t you see reason? Merlin is out there, somewhere, probably kidnapped or … who knows what!”

“Didn’t you just say he was collecting frogs?”

Gwaine let go of him. “You disappoint me, princess. I thought you cared for him!” Gwaine twirled around on his heels and skated away. Arthur didn’t know who invented the shoes with the wheels on them but they made it difficult to take any conversation with Gwaine seriously. Maybe Gwaine invented them himself.

Arthur closed his eyes. So, apparently, Merlin had disappeared. Arthur gnawed on his lip. If it wasn’t a secret romance, then Gwaine may be right and Merlin had been kidnapped. He shook his head. Who would kidnap Merlin?

…

As Arthur returned to his room that evening, he found the damned cat sitting on his bed, licking its paw again. It looked up when Arthur entered and meowed. Its big blue eyes caught on to Arthur and Arthur noticed that it hadn’t gotten rid of that hideous neckerchief.

Arthur shook his head and sat down at the table where a servant had brought him dinner. He could tell that it hadn’t been Merlin who had brought him the food because everything looked perfect. Golden plates with royal insignia were used, where Merlin would have scoffed and said those posh silverware were too hard to clean properly, a normal plate would also be fine.

Then, Arthur noticed that something DID scream Merlin right at him. Someone had stolen his sausages. He blinked. “Merlin?” He screamed into the empty room but only received a quiet “meow”.

Slowly, very slowly, it dawned on Arthur and his fork clanked against the plate. Gwaine’s words echoed in his head.

“What if someone was turned into a frog?”

Arthur swallowed. “What if Merlin was turned into cat?” He turned his head and stared at the black cat who still stared at him curiously. It meowed again and Arthur’s heart jumped.

“MERLIN?” He jumped to his feet and hurried over to raise Merlin to eye level. “Merlin, is that you?”

The cat just stared at him.

A million thoughts swirled through Arthur’s mind. Did Merlin recognize him? If he had been turned into a cat, did he still know who he really was? “Merlin, I’m begging you, give me a sign!” The cat didn’t answer and dread filled Arthur’s mind. “No, Merlin, you can’t be a cat!” Arthur began to panic and tears welled up in his eyes and he hugged the cat close to his chest. “I promise, I’ll find a way to turn you back!” The cat did not answer. "Achoo!"

—-----------------------------------------------------------

*Morgana’s lair*
“If I win, you will tell me who Emrys is!”

Merlin was so done. This was the fourth time this year that he’d been chained to a chair by Morgana. She had tried everything else before. Tortured him for days, threatened to kill him, but Merlin hadn’t spilled his own secret to her, he wasn’t THAT stupid. Besides, the nathair wasn’t that bad of a torture snake. Or maybe it had to do with the fact that magical creatures loved him and didn't want to hurt their magic King. It was a bit embarrassing that Morgana still hadn’t caught on. The druid she had used to identify Emrys had bowed before Merlin and she still didn’t connect the dots. The poor man was dead now.

Since then, and other failures in identifying Emrys, she had decided to stop torturing Merlin and magiced him into a contract in which he would have to drop Emrys name once she won a game against him. Her problem was that she was as oblivious to Merlin’s magic and identity as Arthur was, so he managed to cheat his way out of every game she put in front of him.

This week’s game was Jenga.

“What do I get when I win?”

Morgana gnawed on her lip. “I’ll admit that you’re better at Jenga!” She stood over him, while he fixed her with an unimpressed glare. The only reason why Merlin was even here was because when he met with Morgana regularly, she was too busy thinking of how to win games against him to plan anything actually dangerous. And since Merlin always returned to game night since that first time his price had been to be let go, Morgana unhanded him at the end of each game, albeit reluctantly and always with the demand: “Same time, next week, don’t be late!”

The chains, Merlin thought, were just part of the aesthetic at this point. And he also had the feeling that Morgana really enjoyed game night. She was so competitive but there was that gleam in her eyes that he hadn’t seen since the days in which she challenged Arthur to a duel. “Not enough.” Merlin fixed her with his own glare. “Besides, where is my reward from last week?”

Morgana stopped for a moment. “I sent you the cat! It should have arrived! I even put the neckerchief around it so you know which one it is.”

“The one I left two weeks ago?” Merlin had won a new scarf that week. It was such a nice fabric that he had immediately hidden it in his room and put a less nice one on so that he wouldn’t feel bad working with it.

“Yes.” Morgana nodded.

“Oh, I see. I must have missed it then. I’ll tell you if I found it next week.”

Morgana couldn’t hide the small smile on her face, before she coughed and got back into character. “What makes you think you’ll win tonight?”

Merlin just gave her the Gaius-brow.

…

Later

“Nooooooo!” Morgana had sunken to her knees. The Jenga tower had collapsed under her hands and she looked like she was close to tears. “REMATCH!”

Merlin sighed. This was going to be a long night. Well. It could be worse, he thought.

Chapter Text

“NO, Merlin, GET DOWN!” The cat was on the loose and it was jumping all over Arthur’s furniture. Arthur couldn’t deny that it terrified him to see Merlin like that. First of all, he was a cat and apparently didn’t have his normal conscience, secondly, he was really high up in a place where Arthur couldn’t reach. Arthur pulled at his hair, when the cat jumped from his cabinet onto the nearest shelf. “Merlin, I’m serious, get down there before you break anything!”

“Meow!”

“I mean your bones! God damn it, Merlin, I’m not afraid you’ll break my stuff, I just - HEY, STOP THAT!”

The cat had begun scratching at the curtains and ripping holes into it. “Meow!”

“That’s not hypocritical! Merlin, I’m begging you! Come down!” Arthur nearly ripped out his hair as he saw the cat getting stuck on the fabric. “You’re going to kill yourself.”

To be fair, this had been going on for over an hour now, Merlin made no sign of listening to Arthur and now he was literally breaking stuff. Arthur’s working table was a mess, his ink bottle had been spilled all over the peace treaty Arthur had been crying over for a month, and his ink covered paws were now covering nearly every piece of furniture in Arthur’s room. Arthur was ready to cry. “Merlin, please!”

There was a knock on his door. Arthur froze.

“Arthur?” The gentle voice belonged to Guinevere who was now standing in the doorframe looking troubled. “I just ran into Gwaine and he told me that Merlin was missing.” She seemed confused as she searched the room with her eyes. “I wanted to … check on you - Is that a cat?”

Arthur felt his heart heat up with the questions. “I-” For a moment he debated whether or not to tell her the truth. It was a painful thought. Not the thought of keeping things from her but the thought of revealing to her how much he worried over Merlin, the thought of revealing Merlin’s vulnerable position to her, the thought of revealing how much pain he was in. “That’s Merlin.” He admitted through his teeth.

Gwen blinked and the door fell shut behind her. “What?” Arthur pointed at the cat that had now stopped destroying Arthur’s curtains and fixated his big eyes on Guinevere. There was a beat before Merlin’s claws dug into the wood of Arthur’s cabinet and he jumped down on the ground. Arthur couldn’t hide his terrified scream at the sight before the cat jumped right into Guinevere’s arms. She caught him with a gaping expression but didn’t move as the cat snuggled into her arms and purred. “I- huh?”

Arthur felt his embarrassment worsening. “Merlin was turned into a cat.” He explained quietly and stepped closer to her. The cat - Merlin - ignored him. Arthur had his hand reaching out to him but he thought better of it and put it back down. “I… I don’t know what happened. But that is his neckerchief and I couldn’t find Merlin anywhere. And Gwaine seemed sure that something magical was going on and I just…” Arthur felt himself tear up again. “What the hell do we do, Gwen?”

Gwen stared at the cat, then Arthur. “He’s not really behaving like Merlin now, is he?”

“No, he doesn’t have any memories on his human life.”

Gwen narrowed her eyebrows. “And… you’re sure this is Merlin?”

Arthur groaned. “Nothing else makes sense! He just appeared the same moment Merlin disappeared! What am I supposed to think?”

Gwen went on to scratch the cat’s neck and under the neckerchief. “I mean, it could be that this is a stray that Merlin picked up? That neckerchief might be his but -” Gwen paused. “Oh.”

“‘Oh’ what? What is it?” Arthur was getting anxious. He wanted to believe Gwen. He wanted to think that this wasn’t Merlin, but since when was he ever this lucky?

Gwen pulled out a small card from underneath the neckerchief. Someone had bound it to the neckerchief with a small threat. Gwen ashened. “That’s…” Her eyes widened. “Arthur, oh my goodness, you’re right!”

Arthur clenched his fist. “What?”

“That’s… that’s… That’s Morgana’s handwriting.”

Arthur stumbled forward to look at the card. Gwen was right. That was definitely Morgana’s cursive handwriting. Written in green ink, there stood: “This is your reward.” Arthur’s hands shook. “No. No…. This can’t be!” Helplessly, he stared at Gwen. “She couldn’t - how did she reach him? How - Why him?”

Gwen’s expression turned pale. “I think… Morgana knows what he means to you. She’s always known!”

Arthur couldn’t help it, he broke down.

—--------------------------------------------------

*Morgana’s lair*

“No, Morgana, I’ve been here for way too long. I have work to do and you’re running out of rewards.”

“Merlin, please, just one more game!”

“Morgana, I won 116 out of 116 games. I’m done for tonight!”

Morgana clenched her fists, frustrated. “I’m BEGGING you!” She really did look desperate now. “Merlin, I NEED to know who Emrys is! He’s my doom! I need to defeat him! I know you want me dead but I swear, if I killed him, I’ll stop all of this! I just want to sleep!” She had tears in her eyes, so of course Merlin relented, if only just a bit.

“Morgana… you can’t even defeat me at Jenga, or Uno, or scrabble, or chess, or -”

“I get it already!”

“What makes you think you could defeat Emrys?”

Morgana stopped. “I have to. How else can I ever get back home?”

Merlin paused. “Home? You want to go home? After everything you did? You think Arthur will just let you come back to Camelot?”

Morgana’s fear turned to anger. “Funny that YOU say that after you poisoned me!”

Merlin startled. “You know exactly why I had to do that! I didn’t have a choice! Had I not done that, Morgause would have killed everyone in Camelot and then some!”

Morgana trembled with her anger, then she took a deep breath before she sat back down and leaned against the chair. “I know already.”

“Then -”

“That’s exactly why I thought you of all people would understand. Morgause manipulated me, poisoned my mind! I was under her spell! I didn’t have a choice but to do as she said. It only stopped after she died… My mind has cleared and all I want is… “ She closed her eyes and cursed. “I want him gone from my mind. Emrys, he’s… he’s destined to be my doom and it is said he’s in Camelot, protecting Arthur.” Her eyes opened. “A sorcerer, protecting my brother! Don’t you see?” Her eyes were shining from her tears. “I know Arthur. I know Uther’s words blinded him, but he WILL reward anyone who risks their life for Camelot! If there is a sorcerer on his side, he might change his mind about magic! If that’s… If that’s going to happen…” Her voice broke. “I might finally be free!”

Merlin gaped. “Morgana -”

“I’ll do anything, Merlin!”

“But you want Emrys dead.” Merlin couldn’t help but point that out.

Morgana looked even more troubled now. “I can protect Arthur in his stead!” Doubt clouded her eyes. “It’s not fair! Finally I have a chance to finally come home, and -” She nearly broke down. “If I come home, I won’t even know whom to look out for!”

Merlin gnawed on his lip. “I can’t tell you who Emrys is, Morgana. I can’t risk that you kill the man who is destined to protect Arthur. Not over torture and certainly not for these silly games.”

Morgana looked down. “It’s all I have left.” Merlin scanned her expression. Morgana looked withered and cold, but the gleam of fire he had seen her express over the games had trickled down into a low warmth. “Don’t make me lose that too.”
It seemed, Merlin thought, like Morgana’s icy hatred really had been broken. If Merlin recalled correctly, then Morgana’s torture attempts on him did randomly change but that seemingly random moment coincided with Morgause’s death. She was telling the truth, he was sure.

“Alright, Morgana. One more game, but if I win, you’ll let me go for today. Arthur doesn’t know anything about Emrys but I could talk to him about magic. If I find evidence, I could tell him about what Morgause did to you. And I’m sure the only reason why Emrys wants you dead is because you were dead set on killing Arthur. If you don’t do that anymore, he won’t fear you.”

Morgana stared at him. “You’d do that? After everything I did?”

“You know, it’s nice to have some calm game night now and then. It’s different from getting tortured all the time. Plus, I keep winning stuff, so it feels like I’m getting paid for the trouble.” Merlin’s gaze softened a bit. “Plus, I think Arthur would be delighted.”

—---------------------------------------------------

*Camelot*

“I’m going to kill Morgana!” Arthur was a frustrated mess in his room. Gwen’s calming words did nothing to cease his rage.

“You don’t mean that. You’ve been dying for a chance to get her back on our side.”

“I don’t care if she’s my sister. She turned Merlin into a CAT! You know what happens to cats when they cross the road? They get killed by carriages!”

“It’s not that bad.”

“Achoo!” Arthur angrily wiped at his nose. “I’m allergic to Merlin, Gwen! I’ll never be able to - He doesn’t even recognise me!”

“I’m sure we’ll find a way to -”

There was another knock on the door and a man stepped inside whom Arthur barely recognized. The room fell silent. They must be an odd sight. The king and a servant kneeling in the middle of the room, the maid comforting the king while he cried over the existence of a cat.

“Your highness… is this the wrong time?”

“No. No. Come in. Frank, was it?”

“Yes, my lord!” The man puffed out his chest in delight. “I’m the moneymaker. I’m here to discuss the coinage designs with you, as requested!”

Arthur looked up. Then he rose to his feet. Before he finally faced the man, he had already made up his mind. “I think I know what I want on them.”

The man paused. “Sire?” The man pulled out a scroll on which he had drawn the designs. “In your letter you said you needed my help.”

“And I still do. Please, sit.”

“Arthur?” Gwen cleared her throat, “I mean, your highness. May I ask what this is about?”

Arthur nodded. “Of course. As he said, he’s the moneymaker. Whenever a new King is put on the throne, the coin maker comes and creates a new design. The coinage represents who the King is to the people. Not all the people of my lands know their king, so naturally, they want a sign to know who their new protector is. Normally, as did my father, the Kings will put their face on the coin but I refuse. Originally, I wanted my coin to bear the Pendragon symbol on one side and my mother’s on the other -” He closed his eyes and looked at the cat. “But- I wouldn’t be the king I am today without …” Arthur knew he was being emotional and he also felt like he was going to regret it, but it felt so right. It was like the idea had always been in his mind but only now did it manage to get out. “I want a Merlin on the other side.”

Gwen smiled. The coin maker froze. “I beg your pardon?” He gaped. “You want your manservant to be immortalized on your coin?”

Arthur nodded seriously. “He’s been my greatest supporter and friend since long before I became king. Whenever I’m at a loss at what to do, he knows exactly what to say. And I’ve never found a way to repay his kindness. I know I don’t show it often, but I want him to know that I value his counsel.”

“Er… I mean… if you’re sure.”

Arthur wasn’t, not really. But if he was going to lose Merlin to being a cat - he didn’t want the people to forget what Merlin meant and would always mean to Arthur. Cat or no cat, Merlin was his best friend and if Merlin was never going to see it, then at least his people would! “I am!”

They spend the rest of that afternoon discussing the coinage and in the end, Arthur went out of the ordeal with the feeling that his coin would be something very special. The coin maker left long before Gwen did.

In the end, Arthur sat in front of his fire, him and Merlin the cat fed and somewhat satisfied, the cat sitting on his lap. “Tomorrow, I will ask Gaius to use magic to bring you back, Merlin. I’ve been thinking about it all day, but I’m sure only magic can turn you back.” He stared into the fire. “You might hate me for it, but I need you, Merlin.”

The cat purred, ignoring him.

“I know I’m always angry at you for no reason but… you mean the world to me. I’d chase the gods and fight them just to protect you.” Arthur would like to say that the soreness of his eyes had only to do with his allergy but he couldn’t deny that he missed Merlin already. “I’m sorry that I thought you were at the tavern again. That I’m always so rude towards you. I just don’t know how to express…” Arthur bit his lip. Before he knew it, he pressed a kiss on top of the cat’s head. It didn’t move or shriek away or anything. Arthur sighed, his heart beating fast. He had half hoped this would turn out to be one of those fantasy stories in which the princess kissed the frog and the frog would return back to being the beautiful prince they once were. But that kind of spell breaking required true love.

Arthur hoped that the fact that he failed to bring Merlin back had nothing to do with Merlin’s lack of feelings for him. “Merlin- fuck… Just please come back to me!”

“Er-” The door fell shut behind a very familiar voice.

Arthur’s eyes widened.

“Am I interrupting something?”

Arthur turned around. Then he startled to stand, the cat falling off his lap with a hiss. “MERLIN!”

Chapter Text

“Merlin…” Arthur said his name a second time, his arms twitching numbly at his side. Merlin sent him a suspicious glance before slowly stepping further into the room. “You’re not a cat.”

Merlin came to a halt in front of him and tilted his head. “That’s oddly specific.”

Arthur’s mind short circuited and he staggered forward so quickly that he kicked the chair backwards. It almost landed in the fire. A moment later, before his own mind could catch up with him, Arthur was pulling Merlin into a deep hug. He buried his nose in Merlin’s neck and shook with relief. His eyes closed, he felt more safe and at home than ever before while holding back tears.

“Er-” Merlin didn’t hug him back. “What are you doing? Since when do we hug?”

It was only then that Arthur’s mind caught up with his heart and he pushed Merlin back. “The FUCK have you been, Merlin?! I thought Morgana turned you into a cat!” More nervous than angry, and desperate to smooth over the awkward hugging situation, Arthru whacked Merlin over the head.

“Ow.” Merlin confusedly rubbed the spot where Arthur hit him and glared at him. “How the hell did you come to THAT conclusion?”

Arthur pointed at the cat that had jumped up the nearest cabinet. “Because that BLACK cat with BLUE eyes over there is wearing YOUR neckerchief and keeps stealing my food and there was a note sent by Morgana!”

Merlin opened his mouth, then closed it. “Oh.”

“Yes oh, you idiot! I was worried SICK about you! I was about to ask Gaius to use magic to cure you. Do you have any idea -”

“You were that worried about me?”

Arthur choked on his own words, falling into immediate silence. In the end, he stammered. “Don’t be stupid, I would never -”

“I was worried SICK about you!.” The asshole quoted in Arthur’s voice, oddly smug. However, there was something else underneath. Something like quiet astonishment.

Arthur stared at him. “You know what? YES, I was fucking worried!” His worry turned to anger again. “As I said-”

Something must have clicked in Merlin’s mind because suddenly his amused expression fell and he opened his mouth in a gape. “Hold on- Did you say you would have asked Gaius to use magic to cure me?”

Arthur felt irritated at this point. “How else would I have turned you back?”

“I dunno, have you tried kissing me?” Arthur grew stock still and he felt his face heating. His answer took too long. “Oh my god, you HAVE? Who have you -”

Arthur’s panic saved him for once. “No one! I mean- don’t remind me. I want to get that image out of my head.” He cursed himself.

Merlin snorted but then his eyes turned fond. “I didn’t know I meant that much to you.”

Arthur blinked as suddenly, realization hit him like a dragon. “Oh shit.”

Merlin’s expression turned to worry. “What? What is it?”

Arthur covered his mouth. Oh FUCK no! He had just told the coin maker to put Merlin on Arthur’s money. Sure, he wanted people to remember Merlin, he wanted everyone to know how important Merlin was to him… everyone BUT Merlin. Merlin was going to make fun of him, or laugh, or… gods, he might be mad! But it was too late. Arthur had already signed the blueprints and he couldn’t sneak around Merlin and undo it. Merlin was far too observant for that. Arthur had no choice. Merlin could never see the money. He’d have to cut his salary, completely strip him from any kind of income and lock him in a tower so Merlin would never see what Arthur had done. He could blind him. Arthur shook his head. Gosh, how anxious was he that he thought about mutilation before considering a confession?

“I don’t want to worry you, Arthur, but I think your face changing colors like a traffic light is a bit premature for this time period. That can’t be healthy.”

“Merlin… would you believe me if I told you I was cursed right now?”

Merlin blinked. “No?”

“Fuck.” Arthur looked up between his fingers. “How good are you at symbolism?”

“What is this? Are you stuck with a riddle?”

Arthur groaned. His heart was beating a mile a minute. Merlin would soon find out and there was nothing Arthur could do to stop it. There was no way Merlin wouldn’t recognize the bird he was named after anyway. Arthur clapped his face, hoping he would find a way to distract Merlin, at least for now, so he wouldn’t ask questions. “So… Merlin, where have you been? And don’t start with the tavern, I asked Gwaine about it and he said no.”

Merlin opened his mouth, probably to comment on the quick topic change but then thankfully decided to respect Arthur’s silent request. “I was at game night.”

“No, you weren’t. Those are on Tuesdays!”

Merlin didn’t blink this time, he just stared at Arthur. “So that’s why no one was there.”

Arthur almost threw the table across the room. “Don’t give me that shit! You may be an idiot, but you’re no fool, Merlin -”

“I’m not?”

“Don’t interrupt me!” Arthur tried to reel in his emotions and came back to the other explanation he had been given. “I just don’t want to think you were kidnapped or anything. You can tell me if you were with… with a girl.”

Merlin still stared at him unblinking. It was starting to get unnerving. “A… girl.”

Arthur flushed. “Or boy, whatever floats your boat. I don’t care.”

Merlin’s eyebrows shut up in surprise. He took a moment to carefully think over his answer, then he decided to finally give it to Arthur. “I was with a woman… yes.” Arthur’s heart stopped beating, his soul left him, his mind went blank. “I wasn’t lying though, I do meet for game night with her.” Merlin paused as he scanned Arthur’s nonresponse. “Arthur?” He snapped two fingers in front of his face. “You there?”

Arthur pushed Merlin’s hand aside. “Yes, yes, game night with a woman. I get it.” Suddenly he didn’t want to hear any more about it. He certainly didn’t want to know what games they were playing while Arthur had been a fool crying over a cat with a neckerchief.

Merlin seemed confused but he licked his lips as if he needed to prepare himself before he carried on. “She has magic.”

Arthur’s face snapped up. “What?”

Merlin closed his eyes for a moment before he moved towards Arthur with intent. It took every inch of willpower in Arthur to not step backwards. Merlin came to a stop about two inches apart from his face. “I won’t lie to you, Arthur, she DID attack Camelot. She killed people. But I have reason to believe that she had been enchanted at the time to do so. She called me to confide in me. She doesn’t think she can face you yet, but she wanted to gain my trust.”

“Why yours?” Arthur’s mouth felt dry.

“She believes I’m important to you.”

Arthur’s mind was screaming at him so loudly, he was surprised he could keep eye contact with Merlin at this point. “And what did you tell her?”

“I told her that if what she was saying was true, then I was sure you’d consider her words. I was doubtful about the magic, but since you just told me you’d have gone to Gaius to turn ME back from a cat to a human, I figured you’d help out a stranger.”

Arthur couldn’t help but be taken aback by those words. The way Merlin said it made it sound like he believed Arthur didn’t give two cents about Merlin. Like he were worth less than a stranger. Like Merlin, of all the people in the world, was comparable to … Arthur didn’t even know what. Instead of addressing that, however, Arthur was being an idiot. “And you? Every time I’ve brought magic up in the past, you’ve been hesitant to trust it. You usually advise me against it. If it were me, had I been turned into a cat, would you have turned to magic to turn me back?”

Something complicated flashed through Merlin’s eyes. “Without hesitation.”

Arthur’s breath hitched but he covered it with a cough. “I see. Well… I mean… if that’s the case… maybe I should think over the laws. Are you sure she’s a good magician?”

Merlin’s eyes did that complicated thing again. “No. But if there are good witches and sorcerers… does it matter? Can’t you judge them based on their actions like you always do?”

Arthur watched Merlin, his face unvoluntarily twitching into a smile. This was why he loved Merlin. The man always cared for others before himself. He always made Arthur see the bigger picture, always spoke his mind, even in a situation like this. Uther would have beheaded Merlin for the thought alone. Arthur had to hold himself back from kissing his stupid manservant on the mouth. Or run his hand through his hair, or caress his cheek, or hug him again, or… Arthur shook himself out of it. “Well… if that’s what you think. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I didn’t think you’d listen.”

Arthur opened his mouth to respond, then figured that Merlin’s salary would tell this idiot soon enough. “Well you’re not really good at the thinking bit, are you? Now tell me, what did you win in your little game with your mysterious girlfriend.”

“She’s not mysterious and she’s not my girlfriend.” Merlin rolled his eyes. “And if you want to know, I won that cat over there.” With that, Merlin grabbed Arthur’s laundry from the floor and left the room.

Arthur was too relieved from the ‘not girlfriend’ comment to make the connection sooner, but as soon as the door fell shut, did Arthur’s mind recall Morgana’s note. He froze. ‘Your reward.’ Merlin was meeting MORGANA?

—-------------------------------------------------------

If there was one thing Arthur had understood the previous day, it was that his manservant was secretly meeting his evil sister and buying her stories of being enchanted. How on EARTH did THAT start?

Arthur was sitting on his throne, fidgeting his leg. He was supposed to sit here and listen to his people ask for favors, but he couldn’t think clearly. Thankfully, since Arthur knew Morgana was an aromantic lesbian, he was pretty damn sure that Merlin and her weren’t dating. Still, that didn’t mean MERLIN knew that. Also, that bloody cat has grown somewhat attached to Arthur and kept sitting on his lap and purring against his non-fidgeting leg. Arthur should have known that it wasn’t Merlin. Merlin would never purr against him.

Arthur waved out the man before him who asked for a bit more land for his son to inherit with the promise to consider it and only sat up straight when Gwen walked in. Arthur looked around. Was it over? Could he leave? Merlin stood at his side and gave him a glance that basically said: sit down!
And Arthur, like the puppy he was in Merlin’s presence, understood the sign for what it was.

Gwen looked different from yesterday. Where she normally wore a maid dress, she had now tied the loose ends around her legs to create a bulky form of trousers. Her hair was trapped in a tight bun and her eyes were hidden behind what looked like glasses. Arthur should probably question that, since glasses hadn’t been invented yet. He was pretty sure they were called ‘goggles’.
Gwen was not alone, not really. She had a big artsy looking something at her side that looked very heavy. She had to lean against it somewhat to balance it out. The smile on her face, however, was radiant. “Oh, hey Merlin. Back from the catdom?”

Merlin smiled back just as radicantly. “Meow.”

That was it. That was the entire exchange. She laughed and for a moment it seemed like the entire room was glowing. Then, finally, she turned to Arthur. “My king-” She mock bowed. “Let me introduce to you my very first invention!”

“Invention?” Arthur was finally out of his mind, too stunned by Gwen’s happy demeanor.

“Yes!” Gwen kicked something on the side of the giant something. “I’ve been working on the blueprints since I was twelve! Under Uther I was too scared to be burned because it may look like magic, but it’s actually completely science!”

“Science?” Merlin sounded intrigued. “What does it do?”

Gwen beamed back at him and Arthur wondered why he was even here, if Merlin was taking over his job anyway. Gwen cleared her throat, then turned something at the side of the invention. At the same time, she turned one of the handles and kicked something at one of the wheels. Once she’d done that, the entire thing roared to life. Arthur subconsciously grabbed for Merlin’s arm but missed him entirely. “The fuck is that?” He yelled over the sound.

“It’s a motorhorse!,” Gwen yelled back. “Look!” She swung her leg over the thing and turned the handle again. A second later the motorhorse sped through the entrance hall, way faster and far more precise than any horse Arthur had ever seen. She was laughing manically before she stopped before Arthur. “This baby can go a hundred miles per hour! Do you know how quickly you could be at Queen Annis’ fortress if you used it?”

Arthur stared at her. “Are you sure that’s not magic?”

Gwen grinned wildly. “I could outsmart any magician if only you give me the time and material. With that, she pulled out another invention of hers and directed it at the nearest wall. “I call this a glock.” She pulled a trigger and a loud bang nearly snapped Arthur’s eardrums. He held his hands to his ears to protect them.

He followed where the projectile had hit and found a hole in his wall. “Are all of your inventions this loud?”

Gwen gave him a thumbs up before she twirled the glock in her hand and put it back in the magical depth of her dress. “Can I make more? Gwaine has already sold his soul for one of my motorhorses!” She jumped up and down as she turned off the motorhorse. Arthur had never seen her happier.

“Alright… fine. But don’t sell those… glocks. To anyone. I can already imagine what people may use it for.”

Gwen saluted. “As you wish, Sire.” Her beam doubled though. “Would you like some motorhorses for yourself?”

Arthur sighed. “I suppose… yeah. That would be… nice, I guess.” He just knew that he wouldn’t be able to use them on hunts. Their prey would get lost… Which meant Merlin would definitely try to buy one. Arthur sighed. Hold on, with such a beast to travel as quickly as Gwen promised, he wouldn’t have to spend another night with Merlin in the woods… was he really going to support that? Then he saw Gwen’s and Merlin’s exchange and decided that it was probably fine.

Probably…

Chapter Text

Merlin had fucked up.
It may seem stupid of him to only have noticed after he had left Arthur’s chambers but he really hadn’t thought things through. How was he supposed to when Arthur basically told him that he cared about Merlin, listened to him and would even change the magic laws for him? Merlin had been distracted by the sudden hug, Arthur’s open worry and the way the man seemed so relieved to see Arthur again in one piece. Merlin hadn’t known Arthur cared so much. And so he had let slip that he was meeting up with Morgana.

While Merlin still couldn’t calm his heart just thinking about the entire exchange, he knew he would have to let Morgana know about his slip up. He just hoped she wouldn’t kill him for it.

Merlin let out a deep sigh as he listened to Gwen, who was showing him the blueprints for her newest invention. She was really glowing up due to her new found freedom. He had never seen her smile this much and her inventions were incredible. Her forge was running all day and she had already created a water system that would make it easier for the wash ladies and servants to retrieve water from the well. That and a filtering system. Who had put those futuristic views in her mind, Merlin could only guess. But it sounded amazing and he liked seeing her this happy, so he helped her brainstorm. Not that she needed his help. But she did appreciate his idea to combine some of her inventions with magic to not have to invent the atomic bomb before its time.

Sometimes, Merlin let his eyes wander over to Arthur, whose room they were occupying for their meet up. Arthur was supposedly working on the new magic laws. Merlin would have expected Arthur to throw them out, especially with how loud Gwen was being, but Arthur seemed distracted. Once in a while, he would look up, meet Merlin’s eyes, and immediately turn back to his papers. Merlin had the strange feeling that Arthur wanted to join their discussion but was too shy to ask for it. Merlin could only smile at his master. Arthur could be a bit awkward sometimes.

Merlin turned his gaze back to Gwen who had somehow drifted off in her explanations to the invention of the radio. “Just imagine, no one would have to come to Camelot to listen to Arthur’s speeches anymore! They could just do it from home!” Merlin’s smile fell a bit. When he looked up, he could see Arthur study Gwen from where he was sitting before turning back to his paper, face red when he met Merlin’s gaze. Right. Arthur’s destiny lay with Gwen…

Merlin closed his eyes. Then he returned his attention to the discussion at hand. “I’d be so jealous, Gwen. Can you imagine it? To have a button to shut him up?”

—----------------------------------------------------------

“Why is he here?” Morgana twitched an eye.

“You can ignore me, dear sister. I just wanted to join the two of you and figure out what you’re actually doing.”

“I told him to stay home but he insisted.” Merlin glared at his master.

“You TOLD HIM?” Morgana’s screech was even louder than usual. Her arms were shaking against the table she was leaning on.

This week, they were playing monopoly. At this point, Merlin was beginning to wonder if the author is high. “It was an accident. I didn’t mean to tell him, it just slipped.”

“I should have known I couldn’t trust you!” Morgana groaned and her face hit the table.

Merlin smiled awkwardly. “To be fair, he says he IS going to review the laws on magic. Besides, he wanted to see if you’re doing fine and what we need to do to welcome you back home.”

Morgana raised an eyebrow. Arthur looked up from his paper where he was scribbling stuff on. “I do have some notes though. Is it normal that Merlin comes to one particular spot in the woods, where you knock him out and then tie him to a chair so you can have… what does Merlin call it? Game night?”

Morgana narrowed her eyes.

“Because I must tell you, Gana, that hurt,” Arthur rubbed the spot on his head where Morgana had hit him with that branch, “secondly, these itch,” he tugged at the binds that tied him to another chair himself. “And it doesn’t really sell your whole innnocent point.”

“He’s very composed, isn’t he?” Morgana leaned over to Merlin to whisper at him.

Merlin just shrugged around his own binds. “You get used to being kidnapped at some point. And I’m not sure who of us has been kidnapped more often, him or me. I would bet on me, since you have been kidnapping me for game night for a couple months. Then again, I’ve only been in Camelot for a couple years, your brother spent his entire life there.”

Morgana shook her head. “Well… If it’s the three of us now, I propose we change the game!”

“Oh good, I hate monopoly.”

“NO!” Morgana rubbed her face with one hand. “It means, I’ll be playing against the both of you, which means I’m upping up the game! Now, you BOTH have to defeat me, otherwise you will tell me who Emrys is!”

“Wait… who?” Arthur looked up in confusion.

Merlin groaned. “That’s so not fair! Arthur sucks at these games, why do I have to compensate for his failures!”

“Hold on!” Arthur narrowed his gaze. “I don’t understand! Who are we talking about? Why would Merlin have information on… who is Emrys?”

“That’s the question!” Morgana pointed at Arthur. “That’s what I want to know! It’s why I kidnap your dear little Merlin once a week! Who is Emrys?!”

“Merlin?” Arthur tilted his head. “Who is she talking about?”

Merlin blinked back at him, unimpressed. “Hello? I’ve been dodging torture attacks and won every single game Morgana proposed to me to AVOID telling her stuff about Emrys! I’m not going to play these games for fun!”

“You’re not?” Morgana had the gall to sound hurt.

Merlin groaned again. “Okay, it is fun. But my point stands! The stakes are no longer fair either! Arthur clearly wants to know the answer! I won’t play with him on my side if he’ll rigg the game just to figure out what I know!”

Morgana tapped the table, then her expression darkened with her thoughts. Finally, she hit the table. “Fine. Alright. Just you against me.”

Sighing with relieve, Merlin smiled at her. “Alright, what is the reward for winning? I was under the impression that I’ve won nearly everything you possess?”

Arthur leaned over to his sister. “He’s awfully good at games, isn’t he? I played dice with him once, I swear, he’s a monster!”

Morgana nodded, sweat running down her face. Then her eyes met her brother’s and a gleam found its way into her eyes. “I could give you information!”

Doubt. Merlin narrowed his eyes. “What kind of information?”

Arthur went pale. “You wouldn’t.”

“You’re my brother and I’ve known you my whole life, Arthur Pendragon, but the same counts for you. You know me better than that. I absolutely would.”

“Morgana!”

Merlin raised his brows. “What am I missing?”

Morgana regarded Merlin with utmost seriousness. “Your reward for winning against me… is embarrassing stories about Arthur.”

“Morgana!!!!!” Arthur jumped to his feet, face beet red.

Merlin gaped at her. He leaned forward in his chair. “I’m listening.”

“MERLIN!” Arthur glared at both of them. “I- I’ll never talk to you again if you accept that!”

Morgana grinned mischievously. “Well, dear brother mine, we both know you couldn’t stand to ignore Merlin for longer than a day and a half. But I haven’t been in Camelot for while, could be less.”

“MORGANA!” Arthur nearly whined. “Don’t just say that!”

Morgana fixed him with a sudden glare. “I have to convince him to play this game with me somehow, you idiot! Of course I don’t intend to tell him. I want to win! But I have to admit he has won over 300 times to zero. It’s just that the information he has is far more valuable than any of your stupid little crush stories!”

Merlin blinked and it looked like Arthur had spontaneously combust into flames. It was a bit adorable. It also made his heart twitch a bit with jealousy. Arthur turned to Merlin with a face so red, Merlin got the physician urge to examine his heart rate. “Merlin, can’t you just tell her who this Emrys person is? He can’t be that important.”

“Morgana wants to kill him.” Merlin gave Arthur a blank smile. “And I kinda like his head where it is.”

Arthur’s eyes widened. “Wait… Is he your boyfriend or something?”

Merlin blinked. What an odd question that was under these circumstances. “I’m NOT giving you any information on him!” Merlin glared at Arthur. “How many times do I have to repeat myself! I will not tell you or Morgana who he is!”

Arthur hesitated, then turned to Morgana. “Why do you want to kill Emrys?”

“Because he’s my enemy and destined to kill me.” Morgana gave back dryly. “He’s kind of the King of the druids or something. But that’s just what the druids say. It’s a deckname, his true name is secret.”

“The druids have a king?” Arthur frowned, then turned back to Merlin. “You’re protecting the druid king?”

Merlin groaned. “Shut up, Arthur. Morgana, I’m taking Sandy.”

“Aww, she’s the only female character in this game!” Morgana pouted but did as Merlin said and gave him the Squirrel figurine from the Spongebob monopoly game. Merlin stared at the game, then at the author. “Seriously?”

I wink at him. “It’s the only Monopoly I’ve ever played.”

“God damn it.” Merlin covered his face and laughed. Then he looked up to face Morgana. “Say, has anyone ever finished a game of monopoly? I feel like all this game does is destroy families.”

Morgana nodded seriously. “What do you think happened between Uther and I?”

—-------------------------------------------------------

“Stop laughing!”

Merlin bellowed over from laughing, almost falling on his face on his way back through the woods. Arthur was stomping after him, face burning like a chimney. “You… you fired a stable boy because you had a crush on him!”

“I told you to stop laughing!” Arthur’s voice grew louder.

“He was flirting with you!”

“I was fourteen!” Arthur yelled back, covering his face. “I couldn’t handle it!”

“And then -”

“Please stop.”

“And then - then you pushed him in the river after you bought him a HOUSE.”

“I TOLD YOU, I couldn’t handle it!”

Merlin wiped off a tear. “God damn it, Morgana wasn’t kidding. You were embarrassing!”

Arthur lowered his head, ashamed. “It’s not my fault! My father told me that I could only like girls, so when I suddenly liked a boy, I was in over my head!”

Merlin’s laughter slowly died down between a few hiccups. “Don’t pretend you were any better with the girls. Morgana just told me the story of how you tried to woo a woman with chicken. I mean… valid, but wow.”

“That woman was Vivian and I was under an enchantment!”

“No, I don’t think that’s the one she was talking about.”

Arthur quivered under Merlin’s ignorance. “I was FIVE, I did NOT have a crush on Mrs. Magdalen! She just liked to make me scrambled eggs for breakfast and I thought she needed a chicken because I didn’t know where she was getting the eggs from! That’s completely different!”

“Yeah, yeah. Tell yourself that.”

“And to your information, that one time Morgana found me naked in a river was NOT because I was doing something with that servant! We were mugged!”

“Sure.”

“MERLIN!” Arthur yelled. “Why the hell did she tell you five stories? You only won ONE game!”

Merlin snorted. “She was just reminiscing about old times. Just let her.”

“She told you about a dare from when I was twelve!”

Merlin really tried not to laugh. “Oh shit, that one was hilarious. You kissed a horse on the butt, just because you liked a serving girl.”

Arthur groaned and hit his face against the nearest tree. Merlin almost missed how Arthur whisper whined against the bark. “I’m going to die.”

“Don’t be so dramatic. It was all in good fun, wasn’t it? If it makes you any happier, wanna know about the one time Will found me tied to a pillar in that old woodsman’s hut?” Merlin smiled. “I mean, it was burning down and I could have died, but in hindsight that was hella funny.”

Arthur slowly raised his head. “What?”

Merlin snorted. “Yeah. There were these three town kids who didn’t like me and one of the girls pretended she was into me and that’s how they lured me into the hut. Then- umpf” Merlin was pushed against the next tree with full force and without warning as Arthur grabbed him by the shirt.

“They WHAT?!” Merlin’s eyes met wild ones. Merlin’s retort died on his tongue. Arthur looked so… protective. Like he was truly mad at something… or someone. He was breathing hard too, like the mere idea of someone hurting Merlin filled him with rage.

Merlin laughed nervously. There was no way that Arthur cared about him. Like sure… Arthur had admitted that he was worried about merlin, but to the extend where Merlin telling him stupid childhood stories would rile him up? “Arthur, you’re kinda hurting me.”

Arthur’s eyes widened and he let go. “I… sorry.” He turned his face elsewhere. “I just-” He went quiet. His fist was clenched against his side though. “There is nothing that warrants threatening someone’s life like that!”

“They had their reasons though -”

“NOTHING!” Arthur nearly spat at him. Then he stepped back again, shoulders hunched. “Absolutely NOTHING, do you hear me!?”

Merlin stared at him, then his gaze softened. A part of him reminded him that Arthur wouldn’t say the same things if he knew who Merlin really was. If Arthur knew of Merlin’s magic, knew that he was Emrys, maybe he wouldn’t look so much in pain right now. “Of course, Sire.”

—-----------------------------------------------

It was almost a week after that that Merlin noticed a distinct change within the citizens of Camelot. Or rather, the way they perceived him. Hushed whispers were exchanged behind his back, and people turned their backs as soon as Merlin wanted to ask them what they were talking about.

That was until one day, when Merlin went to deliver some products to Gwen’s busy forge, that someone let a penny drop to their feet. Merlin, who had just put down the ounces of metal he was bringing Gwen, picked it up to hand it back to the woman who hadn’t noticed her purse was open. Merlin wanted to call out to her, but his words were stuck in his throat as he recognized the symbol on the coin.

In shock, Merlin turned the coin, to find a new improved Pendragon symbol on the one side. This was no doubt the new design for Arthur’s money. It had been about time. Merlin must have been confused, however. There was no way- He turned the coin back around. There was a bird on the coin. A falcon. A …

Without another word, Merlin turned around and stormed through the courtyard and jumped up the stairs of the castle entrance. He skidded around the nearest corner and only stopped once he was standing in front of the double winged doors of the throne room, in which Arthur was currently introducing his law designs to his council. Merlin didn’t care, he burst the door wide open with a little bit of help from his magic.

“Arthur, what the hell is THIS?” Merlin held up the coin that shone in the firelight.

Arthur, who stood at the round table, his council men and knights all having their heads turned to Merlin, blanched. “Your… salary?” His voice was weak and his face burst into flames right after, when the knights couldn’t hide their grins.

“Arthur… that is NOT my salary! We both know even I earn more than a penny. What I want to know is why is there a MERLIN on it?”

Arthur’s face only turned redder after that, while the council men tried to convince Arthur to continue his speech. “Everyone out, please. I might have to talk to … my manservant… alone.”

“Your majesty, forgive me for speaking out of turn, but you put that man on your coin, he’s clearly more than just a -”

“Shut up Geoffrey, before I exile you from your own library.” Arthur had his eyes shut and nearly bent over the table in pure embarrassment. “Everybody OUT, NOW!”

Chapter Text

(It’s me, I’m the chicken.)

Arthur was heaving as the council men and knights disappeared into the hallway. His hair was hanging in his blushing face, his hands grabbing the round table to steady himself as Arthur awaited his doom. Merlin was crossing his arms, anxiously waiting for the door to fall shut.

“Well?”

Arthur’s heart sank. “I can explain.”

“I’m listening.”

How on EARTH was Arthur supposed to explain that? At the end of a losing battle of staring at each other, Arthur finally let out a quick answer. “You were a cat!”

There was another pause, heavy of possible anwers hanging between them. “Huh?” In all fairness, Merlin’s reaction was absolutely reasonable. Yet, his inability to comprehend Arthur’s mind meant that Arthur had to elaborate. Which was, to Arthur, like a condemnation.

Arthur watched as Merlin’s tight grip on his arms loosened and he stared openly at Arthur. He was waiting, like a loyal friend, for Arthur to clear things up before it led to misinterpretations. “You were a cat.” Arthur repeated his excuse. Although he knew that Merlin being a cat had only been a small factor in his decision.

“Yes… I heard you the first time. How does that correlate to you putting me on your money?” Merlin tapped his feet on the ground, clearly growing impatient with Arthur.

A part of Arthur relaxed involuntarily. So, Merlin hadn’t yet figured out that this whole thing was a complete parallelism to the crush stories Morgana had told him the day before. Arthur was a mess and made stupid decisions based on his feelings and it was clearly obvious to the entire kingdom…. Except, not to Merlin. He let out a deep shuddering breath. “I didn’t think you’d turn back. And…” Arthur didn’t know how else to phrase it. “I didn’t want people to forget about you.”

Merlin finally uncrossed his arms, looking rather gobsmacked. “You put me on the coin… so people wouldn’t forget about me?” His eye twitched. “You gave UP on me?!”

Arthur blanched. “What? NO! Of course not! It was just…” He stepped back as Merlin made one forwards. “Ask GWEN! I had JUST learned you were a cat and then the coin maker came in and I couldn’t think straight -,” Arthur cursed himself as his back hit the nearest wall. What a way to tell on himself. “I was already picturing the worst… outcome.” Arthur’s voice thinned at the end.

Merlin had stopped moving and was now staring at Arthur, several feet apart from him. He seemed to be contemplating something, then finally sighed and rubbed at his own head. “I mean… I’ve heard people call us two sides of the same coin before, I just never thought they meant it literally.”

Arthur blinked, eyes widening. “Who said that?”

“Hmm?” Merlin looked up and Arthur’s breath hitched when their eyes met. “Oh, no one important, just my mom.”

Arthur opened his mouth, then closed it. “JUST your MOM?” Arthur felt like his heart had molten into a puddle of goo. Merlin’s mom approved? Merlin’s mom approved! Holy shit!

Merlin frowned. “My mother is a farming woman from another kingdom. How is that relevant?”

Arthur realized his mistake a second too late. He really needed to learn how to shut his mouth. He was this close to shouting at his manservant how happy it made him that his mother approved of them. Being two sides of the same coin and all. Like soul mates. Holy shit, Arthur hadn’t thought of it like that when he had initiated the whole coin print thing. “Just… she’s your mom?” Arthur’s brain wouldn’t think. Merlin was so close, only a couple inches separated them from touching. His eyes were scanning Arthur’s entire body. Arthur felt like an art piece for the whole world to see and criticize, and he wasn’t sure if a single person approved yet. Only that Merlin was the only visitor who’s opinion mattered.

“You can still stop the contribution. Change the whole thing into something you actually want on your coin.” Merlin’s gaze fell off of Arthur and he felt like he could finally breathe.

Then, Arthur’s mind registered the suggestion. “What?”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “We can’t have me on your money, since I was never a cat, Arthur!”

Arthur felt helpless. He felt like a disappointment. And wasn’t it weird that Merlin had that effect on him? “Why not?”

Merlin blinked. “Because… It’s me?”

Arthur’s anxiety left him, it completely evaporated. Just like it had when Merlin had laughed about how he had been tortured as a child. Almost shaking from anger, Arthur fixed Arthur with a glare of his own. “Merlin, I chose you for a reason! You’re my best friend, my consultant! I value your opinion over everyone else’s. I chose a merlin over my mother’s sigil! You mean more to me than…. Than….” Helplessly, Arthur looked around the room to find something that could adequately resemble Merlin’s worth. All he found was Merlin’s shocked expression, eyes wide open and brows shut up to his hair, mouth agape in response. “... than anything!,” he finished lamely. Arthur bridged his nose. “Look, I know the decision was rather sudden and perhaps a bit hasty and all that… But I never said I regret it.” He fixed Merlin with another heavy glance. “I don’t know why you think you don’t deserve recognition, but you do! Even just as a servant, you’ve preserved longer than any other ever has! But you’ve done so much more for me over the years. Name ONE reason why I should go and change the design? I 100% support the making!”

Merlin was frozen in his gaping statuesque position.

Arthur didn’t wait for Merlin to find his wits, because he would likely come up with something reasonable. “Exactly, I don’t care. You’re on that coin and you’re going to remain there!”

Merlin covered his mouth in shock before his eyes fell to the ground. “But… what about Gwen?”

“Why would I put a motorhorse on my coin?”

Merlin scowled. “She’s going to revolutionize the kingdom with her inventions! You LOVE her! Shouldn’t SHE be… the other side of your coin?”

Arthur was rendered completely speechless. Dumbfounded, he blinked, thinking he might be able to hear better that way. “Gwen…?”

“Yeah!”

Arthur blinked again. “Excuse me, I don’t understand what you mean.”

“Gwen! Guinevere! Love of your life! The woman who is currently envisioning the 21th century with her creations!”

Arthur understood what Merlin was saying, it just didn’t make sense. “Counterpoint: I’m not in love with her. Secondly, what about Merlin? The man who’s helping me get my sister home to Camelot? The man who writes my speeches, who gives me advice on laws? The man who is making my kingdom more magic friendly? What about the man who’s been helping me improve this kingdom from the moment we met, made me a better person and is also my friend?”

Merlin stared at him, face completely blank. All his witty retorts seemed to have died on his tongue. “But… I never asked for… this isn’t… you’re just a prat!”

Arthur’s face softened into a smile. “This kingdom wouldn’t be what it is without you. I can make Gwen a statue if that’s something she wanted. I just feel like she would hate it even more than you if I made a statue of YOU. Be glad I didn’t put your profile on the coin.”

Merlin was suddenly distracted, his eyes frantically tracing their conversation as it seemed. “Hold on… this means I can’t ever tell people my name anymore!” His eyes widened and he glared at Arthur. “People will KNOW- They’ll just kidnap me as soon as they hear my name!”

“No… Merlin, you’ll have immunity in the entire kingdom! You could do whatever you wanted and not be arrested.” Arthur tried to talk Merlin out of that admittingly terrifying idea.

Merlin stared at him again, voice leveled but dangerously so. “Arthur… Do you even realize how this looks? Your entire kingdom will think I’m cour consort!”

Arthur held his breath. THAT was Merlin’s conclusion? Instead of figuring out Arthur's massive, embarrassing, stupid crush, Merlin thought Arthur was too oblivious to notice the implications? “So… You’re saying it would be fine if people thought that Gwen was my lover instead. Even though she’s not.” Arthur had to repeat himself. Under no circumstances did he want Merlin to think that Arthur had a crush on someone else. Reason being, foolishly and contradictingly, hope.

Merlin looked up, somehow looking surprised. Had he missed it earlier when Arthur had very clearly said that he didn’t like Gwen like that? However, he didn’t say anything that Arthur was able to comprehend. Instead, he muttered into his hand: “That can’t be right.”

“No, it’s not right. Gwen is not my lover and neither are you, but people will think whatever they want anyway. Now, accept it and let’s move on, alright?”

Merlin had stopped listening and instead only took the permission to leave. He simply turned on his heels and walked out the door without another word. He was looking beyond confused. Arthur felt like he had somehow checkmated Merlin’s brain. Still, Arthur was relieved that Merlin had gone. The man was completely unaware of the obvious emotions radiating off of Arthur. Arthur slumped down on a chair and leaned his face into his hands. Another part of him was highly aware that if Merlin hadn't even considered Arthur having a crush on him, then he likely never pictured them together. Which completely crushed any hope Arthur may ever have harbored.

—----------------------------------------------------

“He just left?”

Arthur lay on Gwen’s bed while the woman was working at something she called a “motor” and that she would use for her next big invention. Gwen’s bedroom was, unfortunately, also her living room, kitchen and working place. And she didn’t own that many chairs for Arthur to sit down on, so the bed it was.

Arthur groaned. “It’s like he’s completely oblivious!”

“Yap, that’s Merlin for you.” Something metallic fell from the machine and she cursed as she rearranged her goggles. “That can’t be good.”

“He thinks I’m in love with YOU! I mean… How would he come to that conclusion? No offence, you’re lovely.”

“None taken, I’m awesome.” She wiped off some sweat from her forehead. Then she sat up to fully face Arthur. “Look, honey, Merlin is an idiot. He’s as oblivious to your feelings as you are to magical stuff happening in Camelot -”

“I’m not -,” Arthur tried to interrupt her but she shook her head.

“You are!

“I know he has magic!,” Arthur blurted, surprising her. “Shit… forget I said that.”

Gwen stared at him. “Arthur, of course I know. Merlin isn’t subtle. He used magic in front of you to cheat at DICE. Even my grandmother would know and she’s been dead for ten years! The only people who are too oblivious to notice it when someone’s eyes are glowing bright golden in your face are you and Morgana!” She rolled her eyes.

Arthur relaxed. “You knew.”

“Everyone bloody knows. Since when do you?”

“He was cheating at monopoly against Morgana.” For some reason, the mention of Merlin playing monopoly with Morgana didn’t phase Gwen in the slightest.

“So she still hasn’t figured out that he’s Emrys, has she?”

Arthur’s eyes widened. “What?”

Gwen rolled her eyes. “Merlin has game nights with her, I meet with her for bake offs. Your sister is very competitive and very lonely. And I do hope that the laws on magic will be improved soon, because it takes forever to get to her hut.”

Arthur blinked. “Alright, two questions. First of all, why on earth did you let me believe Merlin was a cat if you knew Morgana was okay to talk to?”

Gwen shrugged. “Well… I mean… Turning people into animals is a thing that she DOES. Remember when she turned me into a deer? I didn’t put it past her and well… We’ve only been meeting since you started with the whole magic law renewal. She sent Merlin a letter in which she was asking how things were going, so I went to investigate. One thing led to another… and yeah. What’s the second question?”

“Merlin is the KING OF THE DRUIDS?”

“Yeah. The druids talk about nothing else. Also, they bow before him. I figured it was obvious. No clue how neither you nor Morgana have figured it out yet. All she’d have to do was kindly reach out to a normal, regular druid and ask. It’s not that hard.”

“She wants him DEAD!”

“Stop whining.” Gwen stretched her back and got up. “I can talk some sense into her. The whole, Merlin will kill her business only counts for when she makes Mordred kill you. Basically, her fate is in her own hands. I’m sure if she realizes that, she’ll stop searching for Emrys.”

Arthur grabbed his own face with his hands. “But…”

“If you’re that worried for his sake, why not ask the author to change your destiny?”

“Huh?”

“The author. The person writing this nonsense. They love information on how things are progressing. They have the power to change our destiny and do us favors. She gave me the power to invent 21th century stuff like cars and motorcycles and soon, I’m hoping, wifi. It’s gonna be awesome.”

Arthur swallowed hard. “What do I have to give them in exchange?”

“Dunno, just be yourself. They like to watch us squirm.” She turned to him and pointed a screwdriver at him. “You and I are lucky we were born in a fic where we are promised happy endings and fun. You don’t want to know what happened to the Merlin from ‘chosen’.”

Arthur scrunched his eyes for a moment, before his brain was flooded with information. His face turned from joy to horror to deranged anger right. “What the fuck?”

Gwen nodded at him seriously. “Exactly. And now shush. We’re not supposed to include them in this fic.”

“I… they can’t DO that!”

“They can do anything they want.” Gwen grabbed Arthur by the sleeve. “Including, and they told me to tell you, making Merlin love you.”

Arthur’s eyes widened. “No… that wouldn’t be right. I don’t want to force him to… that’s not…”

Gwen shook him. “Don’t you get it? All our actions, feelings, our behavior, THEY are doing this! Us being aware of them is just another part of their plan! They decide what’s going to happen! Free will is just a concept we believe in so we don’t go insane! Amuse them, Arthur, amuse the hell out of them and they will make us happy! There is no way around it. Even your feelings for Merlin are just words on a computer!”

Arthur’s eyes widened in mortification. “But then… What does it all mean? Why do we exist?”

Gwen leaned forward to whisper a warning in his ear. “They are not the only one watching.”

—--------------------------------------------------------

Now, that was horrifying.

Arthur found himself pacing in his room, now painfully aware of all the eyes following him. As he turned on his heels, he wondered if the people could hear his thoughts. He wondered what he was now supposed to do. He wanted to establish the new magic laws, he wanted Morgana back and reassure her she would be safe in Camelot. He wanted Merlin to like him too, but he didn’t want the author to interfere. Then he wondered if it was even possible for Merlin to love him without the author interfering. What he really wanted, however, was to forget that that conversation had ever happened. He didn’t want to be sweaty with anxiety, knowing people were seeing this moment. How much did they know about him? When had his life as a written character begun? He was aware of his entire life… but how much of that was written and what was expected between the lines?

“I want to forget,” said Arthur quietly and looked at the ceiling, unaware that the author was inside his head. “I don’t want to know you exist. You can… you can stop that, right?”

“I can and I will. That conversation never took place.”

Arthur startled at the voice inside his mind. “I … I still know you’re here.”

“I know.”

“What’s the point in telling me that you’re going to erase my mind, when I won’t remember it?”

“This conversation isn’t for you to remember.”

Arthur fumbled with his hands. “Then… What are you trying to do? What are you planning with us? I can’t even … I want to fight you, but I can’t.”

“Morgana can and will return to Camelot. I have erased her destiny, as I have Merlin’s. Tomorrow, she will come home and stay by your side, not knowing why she ever left. You will all live happily ever after.”

Arthur swallowed. “That’s… nice. What about…”

“About Merlin’s feelings for you?”

“Yeah.”

“...”

“I will forget anyway, you can tell me, right? Or is it a secret to those other viewers?”

“No. It’s not. They already know. But I want you to appreciate it when the time comes. I will give you another knowledge that you can keep for now. Merlin’s birthday will be soon.”

“When?”

“You’ll know when.”

That was all I could allow the characters to know. I have erased Arthur’s mind of the memories of this conversation. He will wake up next time, only knowing he has to get a birthday present for Merlin.

The thing is, neither of these conversations were planned. The characters have more power than they know. And sometimes I wonder whether they might actually be alive in my head. I suppose, in a way, even the author only exists as a figure within their story. Now I exist within it. And that makes me wonder if it makes me immortal, or if that means I will die with the script. Maybe there is another creator somewhere, moving my hands as I write this. And maybe there is an audience I cannot yet perceive. Or perhaps I have perceived them once and continue to exist without the memories. Most likely, however, I just see it deeper than it really is, and in truth, our life is just a few indecipherable runes written on paper. The meaning clear only to those who are literate in the language of life.

Chapter Text

Merlin didn’t understand what was happening. He had been sure, no, he had been certain that Gwen was going to be Arthur’s destiny. He was sure that he had heard some of the druids say it. So, naturally, after Arthur clarified that he had no intention to pursue Gwen, let alone marry her, Merlin went to the clearing where he would meet the dragon.

Kilgharrah, as always, landed within twenty minutes of Merlin’s call. “Young warlock, how may I help.”

“Something is wrong.” Merlin stared him down, daring him to make fun of him or speak out against him. “Arthur isn’t in love with Gwen.”

“It seems, that is the truth.” The dragon lowered his body to lay down on the ground as regally as his mighty species demanded. Merlin wouldn’t know this, but Kilgharrah had been hanging out in an open door tavern and played chess against Gwaine. Gwaine would remember this encounter but he had been so high that he thought the dragon was just part of his imagination. Truth is, Kilgharrah now owed Gwaine 200 golden coins.

Merlin, oblivious to Kilgharrah’s personal life, began to pace. “This is a disaster! If Arthur doesn’t marry her, then I don’t know whom he is going to marry! Which means, I don’t know what kind of person they are, which means they may be dangerous to Camelot! What I don’t understand it, Gwen was his destiny! How come he’d just stop loving her? It was true love! I saw it!”

Kilgharrah watched him, way too hangover to actually bother. “Well, she isn’t anymore.”

Merlin stopped pacing and turned to him. “What do you mean? True love doesn’t just… change!”

Kilgharrah sighed. “Young warlock, do you know how I know about your destiny?”

Merlin blinked. “You knew some kind of prophet?”

The dragon rolled his eyes. “I’m a plot device, Merlin.”

“A what?”

“It’s not important. Technically, I’m a prophet myself.” The dragon lowered his long neck down to eye Merlin carefully. “I was always connected to this world in a way no other being was. But something has changed.”

Merlin frowned. “Like what?”

“This world has been put in someone else’s hand. Destiny has been changed.”

Merlin’s eyes widened. “What?”

The dragon sighed theatrically. “You are no longer Morgana’s doom, young warlock. And Mordred is no longer Arthur’s. I don’t know why it was changed. I just know that it was. You have been freed from your destiny as well.”

Merlin was frozen in his spot. “No… that can’t… it doesn’t make sense. You said destiny was unchangable! You TAUGHT me that!” Merlin’s eyes were wide with confusion. “What does that even mean? I no longer have to protect Arthur?” He paused, a mild crisis growing on his features. “Everything I did…What was it all for?”

The dragon grimaced. “That, I do not know. But it doesn’t seem to be a bad thing.”

Merlin threw up his hands and resumed to pace again. “Not a bad thing? Not a bad thing! How is that NOT a bad thing? There was supposed to be a golden age! Magic is supposed to be free! Arthur is supposed to be… If that’s no longer certain…”

The dragon blinked sadly. “Perhaps that is the point. Once upon a time, I told you that ‘no man can know his destiny’. Have you never wondered why I would tell you yours?”

Merlin kept pacing, just waving at Kilgharrah to elaborate. He was shaking.

“Because the golden age was Arthur’s destiny, not yours. Your destiny was meant to be a long one. You were meant to be immortal, doomed to wait for your king to return for the rest of your days. Only for another to take over and offer you the rest you would have craved for over a millenia. Just after you were given a glimpse of the new age.”

Merlin blanched. He had halted, eyes staring daggers into the ground. “And now?”

“You have been undoomed from the narrative. You will no longer surpass a human lifetime.”

Merlin closed his eyes. “So… I’ll die.”

“Your life, young warlock, is tied to Arthur’s. As long as he lives, you will live as well. But I cannot tell you what kind of life you’re going to live. For once, you can decide where you want your life to lead you. And I can no longer see past this point. I believe it is meant to be a mercy.”

“What… what do I do now?” Merlin’s voice was broken. “I lived my life by this destiny… where… where should I go? What should I do with it?”

The dragon eyed him with pity. “Life is easier when it has a destination, doesn’t it.” It was not a question. “You should set your own destiny and live by it.” The dragon paused after that, not receiving a response. “My wisdom has come to an end, young warlock. I wish you farewell.” With that, he raised to his feet and spread his wings. A moment later he lifted into the air and disappeared on the horizon.

Merlin never looked up to watch him. His hand was still wrapped tightly around the coin.

—------------------------------------------------

When Morgana suddenly returned to the castle, it was as if no one remembered why she had ever left. Arthur hadn’t, neither had Morgana, Gwen or Merlin, but she had returned. Her room had been made for her as if she had been expected for over a week. No one had ever been given the order to prepare it and Morgana was still a bit overwhelmed by the fact that she was able to return.

When Arthur approached her, she looked him straight in the eye. “A druid visited me and told me that my destiny has been changed. Emrys is no longer my doom. And I am no longer yours.” She looked confused, eyes wide, as she didn’t understand why the rules had suddenly been changed or if she was truly able to believe it. “And I don’t have prophetic visions anymore. I still have magic… but my nightmares… have gone.”

Arthur didn’t know what to do, so he decided to embrace her. He wordlessly welcomed her back. Something was telling him that she wasn’t lying. Over her shoulder, he watched Merlin return from the forest, looking distracted.
Arthur clapped Morgana on her shoulder and let Gwen take over. The woman knew much better how Morgana ticked than Arthur did. Besides, Arthur noticed how ashen Merlin was.

“Merlin? Have you calmed down now?”

Merlin walked past him without a word. He looked tired and irritated and before Arthur managed to reach him, the man had disappeared inside the castle.

Arthur bit his lip. Wondering what he had done to make Merlin feel this way.

…

Merlin remained in that slump for nearly a week and Arthur was painfully aware of it. Every day, he tried to speak to Merlin, but the man somehow slipped through his fingers before he could ask him what was on his mind. For some reason, Merlin was suddenly competent. He made Arthur breakfast, helped him get dressed and before Arthur could gather his wits, Merlin was already out the door. He was a whirlwind, he came and he past and no one could remember what exactly he had actually looked like that day.

He hadn’t even smiled. Not that Arthur paid attention. Except, it was all he could think about.

And suddenly, it was Merlin’s birthday.

It’s not that Arthur had known before. Merlin barely talked about himself. He was also a peasant and those didn’t really care about birthdays. It was just that one day, he woke up with the clear certainty that it was Merlin’s birthday and it was like the knowledge had always been there. And perhaps it had been. Perhaps he had just forgotten. That, however, would imply that Arthur had forgotten about it all these years and never given Merlin a gift.

That morning, he didn’t have anything to gift Merlin with. And if Arthur hadn’t already been panicking about Merlin’s mood, he certainly was now. Because Arthur had no idea what to do.

That is why Arthur all but stormed into Morgana’s chamber, his mind too occupied to consider that she would have preferred him to knock.
“Morgana! I need your help!”

Morgana had been brushing her hair and turned around with a tired frown. “My help? With what?” She didn’t chastise him for barging in without a warning and Arthur knew that she was still somewhat traumatized. That didn’t mean he knew how to behave around her.

“I need a gift for Merlin!”

Morgana raised a brow. “A gift?”

Arthur nodded. “It’s his birthday.”

“And you’re only thinking about this NOW?”

They stared at each other for a while before Morgana sighed and put down her brush. “Sorry, but I don’t know what to give him.”

“You had game night with him for months! You offered thousands of things to him! There is SOMETHING you know that he would appreciate.”

Morgana shrugged. “Yeah. I kind of do know that. The thing is, he’s won all of them. So, there is no need for you to give him like… new clothes or neckerchiefs. He doesn’t ever wear them anyway, so there isn’t really a point.”

Arthur groaned and let himself sink down on her bed. “Fuck.”

“Why not give him a raise?”

“That’s not a gift.”

“Yeah, but he’d love that.”

“Merlin has already earned himself a raise, but he’ll get it when the other servants are also evaluated. I want to give him something he would appreciate.”

“Your hand in marriage, perhaps?,” Morgana snorted.

“MORGANA!” Arthur was beat red as he snapped towards her.

Morgana cackled into her arm. “Oh come on, that would be awesome.”

“Even if…” Arthur’s blush worsened “,-if I’d propose… he wouldn’t appreciate it. Also,a proposal isn’t a gift either! What? I ask him to be stuck with me for the rest of his life? He’s been avoiding me and I’m sure it’s for a reason!”

Morgana let out a low noise of pity. “Well, I don’t know. I suppose making him your advisor wouldn’t count as a gift then either, would it?”

“He’d hate it.” Arthur buried his face in his hands.

Morgana shrugged. “Well, if it is that important to you, you can always gift him something you’ve made yourself.”

Arthur shook his head against his unmoving hands. “I have no talents.”

“Sucks to be you.” Morgana muttered, annoyed. Out loud, she said: “Well, if that’s the case, I don’t know how to help you, Arthur. Give him a shitty drawing or something, then.”

Arthur paused, then looked up. “A drawing?”

Morgana rolled her eyes. “I’m sure Merlin is the type who would even appreciate it, if you gave him chicken scratch. You simply need to put some effort into it, then he’d be all smiley again.”

Eyes widening and his mouth curled up, Arthur’s heart filled with hope. “Really?”

“Or poetry. I think he’d find that funny. … And Leon would have a heart attack.” Morgana snorted, then paused. “Hold on, I shouldn’t know about that, I wasn’t there when that happened.”

Arthur ignored her. “A drawing…”

—-----------------------------------------------------------

Merlin was in a foul mood. It’s not even that he was sad or anything. He felt like something had been taken from him. That something was supposed to be a huge weight lifted off his shoulders… And in a way it was. The problem was, that weight had been grounding. And now, he found his destiny drifting into space, with no clue where he belonged, where he should go and no way to return. Ever since Merlin had first heard about his destiny, he had found a purpose for himself. And while years upon years he had been wondering whether or not he was good enough to bear such a grand responsibility, he had never thought what would happen once it was gone. And now he moved through his everyday life, defeating minor enemies and inspecting new servants, as he always had. He brought Arthur breakfast, lunch and dinner and it was all mundane and meaningless. Old habits die hard.

Merlin was so stuck in his mind that he didn’t notice anything or anyone else moving around him. He distracted himself with Gwen’s new inventions, his duties and Gaius’ lectures. He didn’t listen to anything or anyone.

It wasn’t an awful week, it was just… dull. The same as always but without the sense of faith behind it that had usually carried him through drying Arthur’s socks.

In this mindset, Merlin let himself fall on his bed, intending to just stare at the ceiling until sleep would claim him, when his back landed on something that crackled beneath his weight. Irritated, Merlin lifted himself up and grabbed the parchment. He One side was rather blank and it looked like it was a parchment that was used for taking notes. It wasn’t worth much with the holes in it and the way the edges hadn’t properly been cut. In cursive letters, someone had written words on it. “Happy birthday.”

“Right. I forgot it’s my birthday today,” Merlin muttered, still confused. Birthday or not, no one usually gave him any gifts. He hadn’t even told anyone when his birthday was. He had never celebrated it, why would he care? Merlin turned the page.

And immediately sat up.

Someone had drawn him a picture. It looked more like a detailed sketch and wasn’t exactly colorful or anything, but whoever had drawn it had paid a lot of attention to what they captured. Merlin saw himself, drawn in soft lines that tried to resemble his smile. He had his eyes shut and was talking to an equally detailed drawn Gwen. The artist had struggled with Gwen’s hair and the hands but Merlin could tell that it had taken a lot of effort and observation to capture them. It radiated a fondness that warmed Merlin’s heart.

“The hell?” Merlin chuckled, regretting that he hadn’t seen it earlier. Since he had fallen on it, the page was now crinkled. He smoothed it out and couldn’t hide his own grin. If his eyes felt wet, then no one had seen it, so he simply let the bubbly happiness take over.

Fuck destiny. If there wasn’t a greater meaning to the universe, his gifts and his life, then fuck it all. There were people around him who paid attention, who thought he was worth to be remembered in such a small way, who spent hours thinking about him just to give him this.

Merlin raised his head and wondered. Wasn’t that what Arthur had said? He wanted Merlin to be remembered if he had somehow turned into a cat with no hope of turning back? Merlin grabbed into his pocket and revealed the coin with the merlin and dragon on it.
Merlin’s heart squeezed with love.

Just because there was no greater meaning to what he did so far, didn’t mean that it didn’t mean anything. To Arthur, it seemed to mean everything.

Merlin got up and left his chambers.

Gaius’ head peeked in from his bed. “Merlin? It’s late. Are you going anywhere?”

Merlin turned to him with a small smile. “I’m going to take destiny into my own hands.”

Gaius raised a brow. “What does that mean?”

Merlin didn’t answer that question, trusting that Gaius was too tired to go after him. And so, Merlin made his way up to Arthur’s chamber. His heart was beating faster and faster, the closer he came to the room. Before he entered, he gave himself a brief pause to take a deep breath. Then he pushed the door wide open.

“Arthur, we should -” Merlin’s words died on his tongue as he realized that Arthur was asleep. The cat was laying on his chest, purring softly against Arthur’s chest. Merlin left out the breath he had been holding and walked over to the bed.

Merlin sat down on the mattress beside Arthur, and looked at the painting again. He still had it clutched in his hand, smiling. He remembered that moment. Gwen and him had been sitting at the table in this room and had talked about Gwen’s new inventions. Merlin had watched Arthur watch Gwen intently. He remembered how he had swallowed down his jealousy at how much attention Arthur had been paying her, believing they were meant to be.

But Arthur had been drawing them. Merlin recognised the scene, the table, Gwen’s clothes from that day. His own face looked far more detailed, far more carefully crafted and more accurate than hers. It was as if this was the person Arthur drew most often, paid most attention to, cared about the most. And of course, Merlin wouldn’t be Merlin if he didn’t recognize Arthur’s handwriting on the backside of the parchment.

Arthur shifted in his sleep, murmuring some incoherent words in his sleep. Until, a name fell off his tongue. “Merlin.”

Merlin’s smile widened. He reached out a hand to pet the cat, sighing deeply. Before it could border on creepy, Merlin cleared his throat. “Arthur.”

“Murlin,” Arthur slurred.

Merlin stopped petting the cat and patted Arthur’s instead. When he did, golden particles flickered at the end of his fingertips. As if burning himself, Merlin pulled his hand back, examining it. The sparks carried on, settlin on his clothes like burning embers that wouldn’t singe his clothes. Suddenly, Merlin wasn’t sure he wanted Arthur to wake up.

Of course, that’s when Arthur opened his eyes. “Merlin?” He looked dead tired at first, then caught Merlin’s wide, fearful eyes and immediately sat up. The cat hissed at the movement and jumped off the bed. “MERlin! Holy shit, you’re burning!” He shuffled a bit backwards, as if scared to get burned too, then their eyes met. “Oh.”

Merlin was frozen in shock. Slowly, panic grabbed his heart. “Huh?”

“Your eyes…” Arthur didn’t break contact.

Merlin jumped up, walked towards the table and took one of the silver plates, throwing off the fruit in the process. As he looked at himself, he squeaked. They were golden. His eyes were bright golden and no matter how much he blinked or tried to calm his magic down, it wouldn’t leave. “No no no…” Arthur was going to find out! Merlin put down the plate, refusing to turn around. “On a second thought, it’s not that important, I’ll leave…”

Arthur’s hands grabbed Merlin’s shoulders and since when had he been behind him? “Merlin? It’s okay, turn around.”

Merlin knew without a doubt that for once, he wouldn’t be able to talk himself out of this one. So, when he turned, he did so slowly, waiting for Arthur to flinch away in fear or accuse him of being a sorcerer, but… none of that happened.

“What happened?” Arthur’s voice was dark from sleep but he looked full of concern.

“I don’t… know.” Merlin answered honestly. “I swear, I…” Merlin paused. This was why he was here, wasn’t it? His initial fear was suddenly replaced with the reminder that this was why he was here. “Arthur, I have magic.” This was what he had come here for.

Arthur’s eyes flickered all over his face, calculating, then he nodded. A second later, Arthur pulled him into his arms. “Thank you for telling me.”

Merlin let out a noise he would later deny he made. “Huh?” It wasn’t the first time Arthur was hugging him, but it was the first time he didn’t let go. For some reason, more golden sparks erupted from his fingertips, coloring Arthur’s nightshirt golden. Arthur didn’t move away. He didn’t flinch and the sparks didn’t hurt him.
“I… Arthur… I don’t know what’s- I was born with it- but my magic has never done anything like this… I -” His mind was a mess. He was supposed to tell Arthur, supposed to properly reveal his magic, but instead his magic had decided to materialize around him. As if the magic itself wanted to be seen.

When Arthur put some distance between them, his hands were gently cupping Merlin’s face. “Merlin, I knew. Since I went with you on game night with Morgana, I knew.”

Merlin’s eyes widened. “You did?”

Arthur nodded. “I was already planning to repeal the magic ban. I thought, in time, you’d come around and tell me yourself. And you did. A lot sooner than I expected. Is there a reason why your eyes are golden though?”

Merlin touched his own face, thinking he could somehow see his eyes better that way, then realized how stupid that was and put them down. “No… I don’t know why… It just started when I was trying to wake you.”

Arthur nodded slowly. “I take it, you didn’t mean to tell me yet?”

“No, I was!” Merlin hurried to say it, beyond confused. “But I also wanted to talk about your gift…”

Arthur was still smiling when his face suddenly combusted into flames. “My what?”

“The drawing.”

Arthur looked like a puppet whose strings had been cut. “Huh?”

“That’s your handwriting, Arthur. I wanted to thank you for it.”

“Ah huh.” Arthur’s mind seemed to have been blown away. Merlin waved a hand in front of his unmoving eyes.

“Was I not supposed to know it's from you?” Merlin almost failed to smile. “I thought you wanted to show me that you cared. You know? Like with the coin, but more sensible. I appreciate it, Arthur.”

“Hmm.” Arthur’s hands were suddenly cold.

Merlin nervously looked at him. “I wanted to talk to you about… that. What it all means. My destiny and… stuff.”

Arthur nodded. “Destiny.”

“You’re not my destiny anymore and I wasn’t sure how to deal with that. That’s why I was so distant lately. I just feel… like I don’t know what to do anymore, and I figured you were the only one who would understand. And after seeing your drawing -”

Arthur swallowed as if awaiting his doom.

Merlin took a deep breath. “I decided that I need to change.”

Arthur’s eyes widened. “Merlin, no! What made you think that? I don’t want you to change -”

“Shh.” Merlin shushed him and shook his head. “No more hiding. I always wanted you to know the true me and I … I don’t want to keep my magic from you anymore. And I want you to know that I still have faith in you, as much as I’ve always had. And if you and I are no longer bound by destiny, then… “ Merlin felt helpless. “I want to be bound to you by choice.”

Arthur’s eyes slowly widened. “Are you… Merlin, are you proposing to me?”

Merlin froze. He hadn’t realized that that’s how that sounded. It’s not like he’d never thought about it but Arthur and him weren’t even a couple… Merlin wasn’t even sure if they ever would be! What was he doing?

“Because if you are -”

Merlin decided to just fuck it. He’d known Arthur for over ten years, lived every day beside him and had wanted nothing more in his entire life. There had never been any doubt in his mind that he would walk beside Arthur long past his death. And what had the dragon said? Merlin was no longer immortal? His life was now as short as Arthur’s? Then why waste that time with dancing around the truth? Merlin had just revealed his magic. Arthur couldn’t possibly react worse to a love confession than to a ‘my existence is illegal by penalty of death.’

“I am.”

Arthur stared at him. For a moment, they weren’t talking and Merlin could feel his own soul leaving his body. “The drawing wasn’t that good,” Arthur whispered in complete and bewildered disbelief.

When Arthur didn’t answer, Merlin hurried to take some damage control. Suddenly, the certainty that Arthur might feel something for him, provided evidence being the picture, was now ebbing away and leaving doubt. “I mean… I understand if that’s too fast, or if that’s completely outlandish to you. I mean, I’m me. You don’t have to … If you don’t feel the same that’s fine. I can deal with a rejection, you know? I just… I was told my life no longer has a purpose, so I decided to go with the flow, you know? Do what I want for once, … I don’t expect you to feel the same, I just -”

“Merlin, hold on, give me a second to process. I got woken up ten minutes ago by my best friend who had been ignoring me for days and had me worried sick and then he was on fire and then revealed his magic to me and is now proposing. I need a second.” Arthur’s hand curled around Merlin’s shoulder as if to make sure he was really there.

“As I said, you don’t have to force yourself -”

“Merlin, I-”

They had spoken at the same time. Arthur was quicker to recover. “I …Hold on.” Arthur reached past Merlin and pulled out a drawer, then pushed another coin in Merlin’s hand.

“What?” Merlin frowned. “I’ve seen the one.”

“Yeah, and you completely ignored what it means. You told me that people would think you were my lover and didn’t even consider that maybe that’s what I wanted the world to see. That… that I love you, Merlin.” He paused, eyes wild. “So, my answer is yes.”

Merlin’s golden eyes reflected in the coin and he looked up to see Arthur’s face deeply flushed.

Arthur hurried to take the coin away from Merlin’s hand and put it back in the drawer, muttering some nonsensical nonsense. “If you would… it’s late.” Arthur pointed at the window to show how dark it was outside. Merlin knew that Arthur was trying to distract him. Unfortunately it worked.

“I… uh. Okay. I’ll… I’ll go then.”

Arthur’s flush worsened. “No.”

“No?”

“I don’t want to wake up thinking it was a dream. You’re staying.”

“Where will I sleep?” One glance was enough to tell him everything. “Oh. Okay.”

Nervously, they both stood there, unsure how to proceed. Eventually, Merlin shrugged off his jacket and let Arthur lead him to the bed. Arthur went under the covers first and Merlin shakily pulled off his shoes before settling beside Arthur. Arthur shuffled a bit to make space for him and Merlin, hesitant as he was, tried to snuggle into Arthur’s arms.
To his surprise, Arthur let him.

“That magic of yours… it’s not dangerous is it? I mean… it kind of looks like you’re on fire.”

Merlin bit his lip. “I don’t think so. It will make it hard to fall asleep, I guess.”

Arthur nodded, then put a calming arm around him. Astonishment washed over Merlin’s shoulder. “Holy shit, you said yes.”

Arthur cursed. “What am I supposed to say? You ASKED! I never thought …” Arthur paused and lifted his hand. “Oh, okay, that settles the question of the ring, then, I guess.” Around his finger, where the engagement ring would normally take place, a golden band had formed from the magical embers.

They spent the rest of that night talking. About their embarrassment, their hopes for the future, and, once the awkwardness finally settled, even about wedding plans. Merlin’s magic slowly ebbed away, as it had only reacted to Merlin’s desire to confess. His choice had loosened it and now it was free to reach out to the man it was made for.

Their destinies no longer aligned, they were entangled based on their own choices. And with the rest, came the peace.

And in time, Gwen would lead them all into a new era. Because magic and love were Merlin and Arthur’s tale… the golden age would be hers.

The End.