Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

For once, Bruce was postponing putting his Batsuit on. Usually Alfred or one of the boys would have to drag him away from the computer and his cases, sometimes literally. Not tonight.

Come on, old man. You can make new friends, you love making friends. Jason loved making him miserable.

Yeah! Doesn’t that sound fun! Dick didn’t understand his brother’s sarcasm or chose to ignore it.

No, Bruce grumbled. He still put on his gloves, finishing the long process of dressing for the evening. He may not want to go to his first League meeting, but he wasn’t dumb enough to miss it. Not after Alfred stated that Bruce would be going.

Tt. I do not see why Father should waste time with those inferior beings anyway, Damian scoffed. He had a scowl on his face. One that could normally be considered fearsome, if it weren’t on a child that was riding his older brother’s shoulders. Bruce just thought it was cute, not that he’d ever tell Damian. His night was lousy enough already without being stabbed by his baby. Though, maybe if he got stabbed Alfred would let him stay home. No, he’d know Bruce was trying to get out of the meeting and make him go anyway.

I think they’re kinda cool. Tim spoke quietly, holding Jason’s chest like a baby koala. They were still working on Tim giving opinions without him worrying about the family shutting him down.

See Timbers gets it, D. Dick grinned wildly. Plus Dad is a lonely old man. He needs adult friends that aren’t a part of the family. Damian rolled his eyes but dropped the subject. His sons hated him. There was no other explanation for them being so happy right now. Well, Damian didn’t seem happy, but that was his usual state, so he didn’t count.

You’re going to be late if you don’t get moving. Correction, Dick hated him.

I know, he sighed.

Don’t worry, they won’t kick him out. They met Alfred. No way they’d risk his wrath. Jason saw right through him. He grumbled a bit more, taking every second he could before he left.

Ok, ok, I’m leaving. Don’t burn down the city and if anything happens call the emergency comm, got it?

We’re not babies, get out of here. Dick said, pushing him towards the Batcave’s zeta tube.

A bright light enveloped the Bat before fading just as quickly. He made sure the zeta did not announce his arrival, the Justice League really did have terrible security. If he was going to be forced to join this team by his father, he was at least going to have some fun with it. And creeping out the League was definitely fun.

The League was already afraid of him and his boys without trying, but that didn’t mean Batman couldn’t add some theatricality to the whole thing. Alfred couldn’t get mad at him, either. He may not appreciate rudeness but Alfred could never say no to theater. That’s how Bruce had convinced him that they should arrive and disappear in the dark, the last time they had shown up here.

As much as the boys had been annoying him about being late he was still here twenty minutes before the meeting would start. The League hadn’t given them any info on when to meet them again, and he hadn’t asked. He could find out perfectly well on his own, and if it added another layer of mystery he wasn’t upset about it.

He slipped into the room the meeting would be in, lights off and chairs empty. He considered the best way to spook them a bit, without coming off as an enemy. Alfred wasn’t going to allow him to ditch this group without a good reason, so he might as well try and be friendly with them. Or at least not become enemies. He had enough of those already.

Looking around, he noticed that they had added a seat for him. They seemed to sit in the same places every time, considering that had been the case both times he had interrupted their meetings before. He’d already done the ‘flickering lights voice from the shadows’ thing so that was out. Plus he had nothing to say. He supposed he could wait until they were all properly distracted before simply appearing in his chair. He was sneaky enough to pull it off, especially knowing that his missing heartbeat and breathing wouldn’t alert Superman to his existence.

Having decided his course of action he figured waiting in the rafters was the best place to watch from. Using his large, deadly talons he quickly scaled the wall. A few puncture holes were left, but they weren’t any larger than if someone had used a nail to hang a painting. He’d mastered this a long time ago. Once he was safely in the rafters he curled up, content on waiting for the meeting to begin.

He may have dozed a bit -sue him he’d been wrangling 4 immortal hell children for decades. He was a little sleep-deprived- because the next thing he knew Wonder Woman and Superman were walking in, side by side.

He’d reserved judgment on them all in the wake of the misunderstanding with his children. Better to have a clean slate in the beginning. Plus his kids did really like the gifts they had been given. Despite this, he felt Wonder Woman and Superman were heroes he could come to respect, even if Superman was a walking ball of light. Ugh. Batman wasn’t sure about Martian Manhunter. He seemed calm and wise. A respectable foe or ally. But he did not trust the fact that he could read minds. Tim had assured him that the alien could not read their minds unless they allowed it, but Bruce wasn’t convinced. The other two, Flash and Arrow, he didn’t see himself becoming buddies with. They were loud and annoying, as far as he could tell. Ok, maybe he had already judged them, but only he had to know that.

“I’m just saying, Di, I’m not sure he’ll show up. We didn’t even tell him about the meeting. ” Superman was hovering over the ground, as opposed to walking next to his co-leader. He seemed to droop as he spoke to her.

“He will show. He does not need us to tell him these things. You saw his father, I am sure he knows about the meeting and that he is welcome to come. ”

Oh, they were talking about him. He appreciated Diana’s confidence. At least one of his new teammates knew what he was capable of. Even if it did slightly hinge on Alfred. His father had taught him, though, so he allowed it.

“I guess, it feels rude not to give an invite, though.”

“I am sure the Bat will understand. We were not exactly expecting his last drop-in, after all. If it makes you feel better, you can catch him after this meeting and let him know about the next one.” He’d have to disappear quickly if he didn’t want to be cornered by Metropolis. His sunshine attitude gave Batman the shivers. Who could live like that?

Superman, of course, brightened at the prospect. “Yeah, that sounds good! Plus, I brought more gifts for the Birds, they seemed to really like the last ones. That’ll be a good chance to give them to him.” Fuck, now he had to stay behind or face the wrath of four grumpy kids.

Martian Manhunter floated in the room, choosing to phase through the wall rather than use the door. He nodded politely to the other two present members and sat in his usual spot. Superman and Wonder Woman were discussing evacuation methods now. Bruce tuned them out, he’d already read all of their files. He watched the Martian instead. He hadn’t reacted to Batman when entering the room. That didn’t mean he did not notice his presence.

After he had been staring at the alien for a few minutes -without any changes- the last two members arrived. Four minutes late. Bruce definitely would not be getting along with them easily. Especially not Flash, with the way he talked nonstop at a million miles per minute.

“- so then I had to run all the way to the other side of the city just to get a poster, but it turns out they didn’t have green posters so I had to grab green paint and paint it and dry it by running around with the poster, but a lot of the paint came off while I was running so it turned out to be a very patchy green, which isn’t what we needed- ”

“Flash, Arrow, now that we are all here we may begin the meeting.” Wonder Woman, thankfully, cut off the speedster. Batman liked her the best.

“The Bat isn’t here yet, Di?” Superman frowned.

“He will be, in the meantime, I advise we begin the meeting, I’m sure the Bat will drop in when he is ready.” She definitely knew he was here. How had she noticed? She must have seen the holes in the wall. He was impressed. She was definitely his favorite. Jason was going to be insufferable if he ever found out. He always found out.

It made his job a bit easier since he only had to wait for four of the five heroes to be properly distracted. Given Flash’s attention span, he was zoned out in under five minutes. Arrow followed right behind him.

His seat was next to Martian Manhunter, which put him at a slight advantage since the man would not be looking at him directly. There was a good amount of space between the chairs which meant he wasn’t at risk of brushing up against him either. That only left Superman, since Wonder Woman apparently couldn’t be fooled.

The Bat waited until Superman turned his back on the round table, presenting a slideshow about property damage, to drop down. He descended silently, close to the wall. It wouldn’t do to have one of the members notice him fall from their peripheral vision.

He made eye contact with Wonder Woman, who was looking his way out of the side of her eye. She smiled kindly before turning her attention back to Superman’s lecture. The Bat slid forward and sat in his chair quietly. He opted for curling up here, as he had been in the rafters, like a big black cat. The claws, eyes, and fangs only emphasized the look. Batman didn’t care, he was comfortable.

Superman finished his slide on the structural integrity of bridges and turned around. “So we need to make sure that any battles occurring near rivers or oceans are- FUCK.” The Bat simply blinked at him. Flash and Arrow jumped out of their seats together, Flash darting behind the archer. Manhunter looked over, slight shock on his face. He was either a really good actor, or Tim had been correct and the alien couldn’t sense their minds without permission.

“How long has he been there!” Flash seemed like he was going to faint. Bat heard a faint I didn’t know he could teleport come from the other part of the duo.

“Thank you for coming Batman, we are glad to have you on the team,” Wonder Woman greeted. Batman chittered a quick of course back to her, not that they could understand the batfamily’s language.

Superman had taken a second to calm down, hands on his knees, before straightening up again.

“Glad you could make it, Bat. Please never do that again.” Bruce would make no such promises. He was having a lot of fun. Superman continued his bridge safety talk.

Bruce realized quickly that all the information they were going over was in the files he read. Did the others not read their own files? Or had something happened that required a refresher? Given that no bridge-related disasters had occurred lately -and the apparent lack of attention span from two of the five other members- Bruce decided it was the first one.

Content that he wouldn’t miss anything, he stayed curled up and rested his head for a while. He wasn’t foolish enough to sleep in the middle of a group of relatively unknown people, but he could tune out Superman’s words for a while.

“Is he asleep?” Arrow asked. Taking the wonderful opportunity that the green archer had presented, he quickly turned to stare at the man.

“Eep” the man yelped at the sudden attention. “Guess not.”

“Arrow, please pay attention and do not interrupt the meeting.”

“He was sleeping!” He shouted, offended by Wonder Woman’s scolding.

“He was not, and even if he was, I’m confident that he knows this information a lot better than you. Please do not interrupt again.” Arrow grumbled while Flash snickered at him, glad to not be the one in trouble this time.

Batman rested his head again until the end of the meeting. Once Superman declared them done, the Bat swept into the hallway. He supposed he had to wait for Superman for his kids’ gifts, but he didn’t have to wait in a room full of people. He stood near the zetas waiting for Superman to come flying in.

“Batman wait- oh,” he hesitated realizing that the Bat had expected him to follow. “Er- I just wanted to apologize about the misunderstanding with your sons. I feel pretty bad that we scared them so much.”

Bruce grunted. Superman disappeared for less than a second, just to reappear with a small stack of presents.

“Okay, anyway I got these for them as an apology. I hope they like them.” He handed the Bat the packages. “And this one on top is for you.” Batman blinked at the alien. He was just tricked into taking his first gift, and he didn’t think the hero in front of him even realized.

Thank you Alfred would kill him if he didn’t say it. And he did actually kind of appreciate the thoughtfulness of the man.

“Uhh, you’re welcome? I think.” Superman beamed, still clueless to what the Bat was saying when he chirped. “I know you don’t exactly need an invite, seeing as you can find the info out for yourself but the next meeting is the 18th of next month. Now you don’t have to search around for the date.”

Batman made a rumbling noise in acknowledgment.

“Ok, see you then. Let me know if the Birds like their presents! Bye!” He flew back down the hallway.

Bruce looked at the stack of gifts in his hands and Zeta’d home.

Chapter Text

Bruce stepped into the Batcave, new packages in hand. The boys were waiting for him to return. 

Ooh whatcha got, B?

Superman gave them to me. You’re not opening them until I do a complete scan, he replied to Dick. 

You’re so paranoid, old man. It’s Superman  even I can admit that Boy Scout isn’t about to try and hurt us. Jason said. Bruce gave him a slight Batglare, not that it had any effect on his children. He was still going to scan them.

Awww but I wanna see what we got Dick pouted. 

It’s not as if the alien could truly do us any harm, Father.  Even his youngest was ganging up on him. At least he still had Tim. Tim was an angel.

What did we get? I want to see. Did you talk to J’onn? Tim was as bad as his brothers. 

I don’t know, you’ll see after I scan them, and no I did not talk to J’onn. He started making his way to the equipment. The sooner he could make sure the packages were safe the sooner he could get the kids out of his hair. Hopefully, Superman got them something that will distract them for a while. 

It took fifteen minutes of nonstop irritation before he felt it was safe enough to open the presents. He’d barely gotten the chance to change out of the suit while the tests were running, his sons were bothering him so much. The Bat didn’t really think Superman would do anything, but he could never be too careful. Especially when it came to his Birds. 

He handed the packages to each of his children, leaving the one for himself where the boys couldn’t see it. For some reason, he felt weird opening it in front of them. He’d wait until later in the night when the boys were playing board games or racing each other through the halls. 

Anything good?  He asked after each boy had absolutely shredded the wrappings their gifts were in. 

Acceptable  came Damian’s glowing review. He’d opened his gift to reveal a small plush Robin wearing a domino mask. The mask looked sewn on, which would make sense. He didn’t know of any store that would sell something that specific. Bruce was sure it’d go with the bat he had received before. As much as Damian pretended otherwise, he really liked them. 

Cool! He got me a matching blanket! I can’t wait to put this in the nest. Dick held up a fluffy blanket that did in fact match the sweater Superman had gifted him before. Bright neon squiggles and shapes covered a dark background. Dick ran towards the stairs, presumably to add the blanket to his collection in the nest. Damian followed him to give his own addition to the nest. They were going to need a bigger nest soon if his kids kept collecting things. Which was impressive because the nest was already very big. 

Hm. I suppose it’s alright. Jason was holding a book on bird types. Inside was a bookmark shaped like a cardinal. Despite Jason’s words, Bruce would bet that he’d be reading it as soon as possible. His son would pretend the cardinal would be the only bookmark he could find and  that’s  why he was using it. No other reason. Jason began walking to the stairs his brothers had just run up. 

Bruce hadn’t heard Tim say anything about his present. He looked around to see that Tim had brought his new box of parts under a table where the box that J‘onn had given him was. He was sorting them into groups of materials already, too absorbed to have a conversation with anyone else. Bruce would consider that a good review, he guessed. 

He walked over to where Tim was crouched and scooped him up. The little Bird squirmed and gave a screech, looking up at his father. 

I’m just bringing you upstairs. If we leave you down here you won’t leave for days and no one wants to walk down here to remind you to eat.  Tim pouted but relented to being carried. Bruce grabbed the boxes of junk Tim was messing with. On the way past the desk he sneakily grabbed the present Superman had gotten for him. The boy was too distracted by his engineering once again to notice anything Bruce did. 

Once upstairs Bruce dropped his third son off in the library, where Jason was already perched with his new book. 

Make sure he comes with you when Alfred calls for breakfast. Tim had a habit of zoning out everything once he’d start tinkering to the point of missing meals. Jason gave a small hum in acknowledgment but didn’t look up from his book of birds. Bruce had to admit, Superman was pretty good at giving gifts. 

Knowing where half of his sons were, he decided to find the remaining two. They’d run up to the nest to put away their new gifts so that’s where he’d check first. Outside the door to the nest, Bruce set down his package on the hallway table. 

Peeking into the large room he saw Dick and Damian curled up, already asleep with their new prizes. They must have nodded off fast. He’d let them nap. They’d all gotten up early to see Batman off for his meeting. The disadvantage of having an opposing sleep schedule to the other members of his new team: he had to wake up early to go to meetings. 

Luckily they held them in the later evenings so that members with civilian identities would not have to miss work or events. He’d be miserable if he had to wake up in the middle of the day for a meeting.

He closed the door again, content with the knowledge that all four sons were safe and happy. He grabbed his gift and decided to head down to the kitchen where Alfred was sure to be preparing a meal. 

He walked through the kitchen door to the sight of his father cooking. 

“Good evening, Master Bruce.”

Evening,  he chirped back, before hopping onto one of the counter stools. 

“What’s that you’ve got, my boy?” Alfred motioned towards Bruce’s gift with a spatula, miraculously not spilling anything with the action.

Superman got the boys gifts as an apology for scaring them. He got me one too.

“And he managed to give it to you without the chance to decline I assume.” B hummed. “Good. I like this Superman so far. He will be good for you, along with the rest of the new team.” Another hum. 

He supposed he’d put it off opening it enough. He carefully untaped the edges and slid the paper off a shoe box. It was weirdly human of Superman to put a gift in a shoebox to wrap, he thought. 

Opening the box he pulled the gift out and couldn’t help but laugh. Superman had given him black fluffy socks with wings on them. Bat wings. He’d given him bat socks. Alfred smiled at him as he laughed. 

“And it seems the man is good at giving gifts as well. ” Alfred said. Bruce’s laughs petered off, an occasional chuckle slipping through. “Well, are you going to try them on?”

Bruce stood up and put the socks on. They were so soft and warm. He loved them. He would not be telling Superman. But maybe his opinion of the alien improved a bit. He still wasn’t as high on the list as Wonder Woman but he’d moved to a close second. 

Overall, a good first gift he supposed. Not that he’d allow himself to be caught off guard again long enough for Superman to give him a second. 

“This is a good step in friend-making, Master Bruce. Perhaps you should give something in return, as a gesture of mutual friendship?” Bruce hummed. That made sense.

Like what? I don’t think he’d want one of the bats from the cave.

“Probably not, but I do not believe you can go wrong with a simple dessert. Why don’t you and the boys help me make brownies before your next meeting? You can give them to him then.”

Bruce hummed again. Yeah, alright he said looking down at his new socks. 

The month went by quickly, breakouts at Arkham and busy patrols keeping the Bat and Birds occupied. Before Bruce realized it, it was almost time for the next League meeting. 

The boys had teased him about his new gift, which he took every opportunity to wear. They weren’t much better, always using their new gifts when possible. They had easily agreed to help their father and grandfather make Superman brownies. 

They were eager to return the favor to the hero but also were excited by the rare opportunity to use the kitchen. Alfred had long ago banned anyone other than himself from cooking. Jason and Damian occasionally helped, but not often, and never alone. The others were to be supervised if they so much as entered the room. 

Baking the morning before the league meeting had been fun for the whole family. Only eight eggs were thrown and Damian was the only one to get flour dumped in his hair. It had taken a bit to convince him not to stab Jason in retribution, but that wasn’t a new experience for the group. 

Since Batman had to be up before sundown to go to the meeting, they’d made the batch in the morning. The dessert sat on the kitchen table while everyone slept and somehow hadn’t been touched when Bruce went to grab it. If that wasn’t a sign of how much his kids appreciated Superman’s gifts he didn’t know what was. 

Chapter Text

Of course, the Bat arrived early for the meeting again. He could feel a routine beginning to set in. He set the dish of brownies on Superman’s unassigned-assigned seat and climbed to the rafters again for a small rest. Having four kids was tiring, even if he’d been parenting them for decades. 

He was less surprised this time when Superman and Wonder Woman walked in a bit before the scheduled start time, discussing a case in Metropolis. He tuned into the details, not having heard the information before. Individual cases weren’t stored in the League’s database. 

“I just can’t seem to find the guy, Diana. I can’t tell who he’s targeting or why. There’s no obvious correlation between victims or timeframes. The-” Superman stopped short causing Wonder Woman to look up from her files at him. He began smiling as he noticed the brownies on his chair. 

“It seems the Bat and his brood appreciated your gesture of goodwill.” Wonder Woman spoke. Superman hummed in response, still looking at the gift for him. “Perhaps you should put them away for safekeeping before Flash shows up.” Superman’s smile dropped into an expression of fear. He grabbed the brownies and flew out of the room. 

“Clark likes you, you know.” She spoke into the room,  not looking away from her papers. The Bat let out a deep rumbling in reply. “I believe he is starting to see you as friends. Try to be nice to him.” Bruce thought for a moment. 

Maybe making friends wasn’t such a bad idea. Superman, or maybe he should get in the habit of calling him Clark if they were to be friends, was kind and seemed trustworthy enough. He wouldn’t put all of his eggs in one basket with the alien, but maybe this was a start. 

Clark sped back into the room, not even gone a minute. His goofy grin was back on his face, now that his prize was safe from the speedster. He started rambling about his case again once he settled in his chair. 

Bruce listened for a bit more before deciding the case was an intriguing one. He couldn’t see a clear motive or method based on Clark’s explanation. Perhaps he should put some effort into this ‘friend’ thing, he thought, before quietly descending into the room. 

Neither hero present looked up from the case, but the Bat was sure Diana knew he’d moved. She seemed to be aware of everything happening at once. It reminded him too much of Alfred, which was both comforting and terrifying at once. 

Deciding the best course of action was to look at the case files himself, he clawed his way up the back of Clark’s chair. He looked over the super’s shoulders at the paperwork. 

Superman whipped his head to face him, having noticed the shadow in his peripheral vision. “Oh, good evening Batman. You sure have a talent for scaring the heck outta folks, you know.” Bruce was caught up in reading about the killer and just gave a gravelly hum in return. It was kind of his whole shtick, scaring people. 

Even as absorbed in the case as he was, he still noticed when Martian Manhunter entered the meeting room. Shortly after him, the Chaos Duo came in. He continued to ignore the others, even as Diana began the meeting. He’d read the meeting plan, obviously, and once again, he already knew the information. 

Flash raised his hand to interrupt Diana’s presentation. 

“Are we just going to ignore the creepy Bat shadow literally clinging to the back of Superman’s chair?” He was not clinging. It’s not his fault that his claws made it easy to stick to the chair or that it had the best vantage point of the Metropolis paperwork over Clark’s shoulder. He hissed at Flash briefly, who gave a satisfying yelp in fear, before turning back to the casework. 

“Yes,” Diana spoke. Bruce swore Diana and Clark were in a competition to be his favorite teammate, while Flash and Arrow seemed to be doing the opposite. 

Interruption handled, the Bat focused on the case once again. He loved thinking through the crimes like puzzles, trying to understand the criminal responsible. Superman, being one of the co-founders, was no longer looking at the files. He’d probably seen enough of them over the last few weeks to have them memorized, Batman thought. 

As the two leaders droned on in the background, he noticed a detail hidden in the police reports. Looking at the other papers spread about he began to piece the crime together. It was an easy mistake to make, the information hadn’t seemed important, but with that small bit of knowledge, the Bat could solve it all. 

He rustled through his belt, looking for a marker, but couldn’t find one. Damian loved stealing them to draw when he was in the cave and had accidentally left his art materials upstairs. 

Ever since they had died the Bat and the Birds’ death wounds still bled sluggishly. Not fast enough to truly make a mess, but noticeable if paying attention. It was what had inspired Nightingale, and later his brothers, to mimic their deaths each night. The acrobat's broken bones hadn’t fully healed, Jason still had what looked like fresh burn marks and Tim couldn’t seem to put on weight no matter how hard Alfred tried. Damian’s stab wounds and Bruce’s gunshot wound to the chest had not dried of blood in all the time they had been undead. 

He mentally shrugged and figured it would only add to his scare factor, he began to use his blood -black, his own color just like the others had- as a makeshift marker. The Bat began circling and underlining details on the files. Superman should be able to understand the connections once he pointed them out. He triple-underlined the line of the police report that had helped him and drew lines between connections in the incidents. Surprisingly, the inky black blood and sharp-tipped claws made the work very similar to writing with an actual pen. 

Satisfied at solving another puzzle, he tuned back into what Diana was talking about. Superman, having noticed the Bat’s frantic scribbling, looked at the connections on the files. Reading it through, he saw what he had missed, and found that the case was solved. 

“Is that your blood? Wait, did you just solve this case in thirty minutes? I’ve been working on it for two and a half weeks.” Clark whisper-shouted at the shadow over his shoulder. Batman hadn’t moved from the back of the chair once he’d finished. 

Yes he chirped in response to both questions, turning away from the presentation he’d already memorized. 

“Superman, Batman, if you could wait until after the meeting to discuss that would be greatly appreciated.”

“Sorry, Di.”

Sorry

They waited another forty-five minutes before Diana ended her lecture to the League. Batman tried paying attention for Wonder Woman’s sake, but ended up drawing a million bats on the back of Clark’s case files out of boredom. He’d try harder if he didn’t already know the material by heart. 

As soon as Diana stopped, Clark turned to him. The Bat didn’t even have time to leave if he wanted to. 

“Is that your blood? How did you solve that?” The blood question was obvious, so he ignored it. The other answer he’d underlined a bunch, but he guessed he’d show Clark again. He flipped to the correct page before tapping the triple-underlined section. The hero read it over again. “How did you catch that? I never would have seen it.” Bruce figured it was a rhetorical question, so he stayed silent. Caught up in the Bat’s solving of the case, Clark seemed to forget about the blood. 

Bruce heard two quiet “what the fuck”s coming from across the table. 

“I’m definitely visiting you in Gotham next time I have an unsolved case.” The Bat growled at that. He didn’t want outside heroes messing with his citizens, especially not his rogues. The villains would kill them in an instant, or vice versa. 

“No. No outside hero in city.” He grumbled to the team. No one seemed to have an issue with his statement other than Superman. Oliver and Barry were eager to never step foot in Gotham again and Diana and J’onn could respect the Bat’s protective instinct for his city. 

“Aw really? I won’t talk to anyone in the city. Not even if they beg me. ” Clark was giving him puppy dog eyes. They’d lost some effect on him after decades of use by four boys, but he wasn’t immune. He growled again, hoping Clark would give in. Arrow and Flash sped out of the room, not wanting to witness their friend’s death. “What if I want to say hi to the Birds? Wouldn’t you rather I go there than them leave the city?” Superman was trying to reason with him. It was working. Mostly because Dick liked Superman and would be upset enough to break into the Hall of Justice if he found out Clark was banned from visiting. 

“…fine. No talk-ing to others. Only Bat and Birds.”

“Deal!” He beamed at Batman. He still gave a small growl to show his unhappiness at having to give in, but the hero ignored him. Superman got up from his seat as the Bat let go of the back. They began walking to the Zeta tubes side by side. “Thank the Birds for the brownies for me. And thank you for the brownies too. I’ll see you next month, yeah?”

Bruce grumbled his assent before heading through the tube. When the light died down he was greeted with an empty cave. He changed, making sure to put on his Bat-socks, before walking upstairs. 

The regular game room the boys used was also empty of any sons. Games, of course, were scattered across the room as if they’d started throwing pieces instead of playing. They probably had. 

Bruce finally found the Birds in the front sitting room. They would usually be relaxing in this room, but this time the boys looked as if they were waiting for him. Not a great omen. 

Everything alright? he chittered. 

Father, we must talk. he hummed, waiting for one of them to explain Damian’s statement. 

You should invite Superman over! Dick said loudly. Of course, right after he threatened Superman to not come to Gotham, his kids want him to invite the hero over. 

No. I told him no outside heroes in Gotham. I don’t want them to upset the balance we have with the rogues. He didn’t have to mention that he’d caved to Clark’s puppy dog eyes just yet. 

You’re making a friend. Part of that is spending time outside of work together. Tim always had to be logical about things. 

Yeah and I wanna see him again. He’s so cool! He can fly! That’s awesome. Dick gushed. 

I wish to see if this alien is worthy of your friendship. You should invite him over so I may challenge him to battle.

Well, if I do invite him over, you’re definitely not fighting him. That seemed like a great way to make friends ‘Hi Superman! Welcome to my house, here’s my small child that would like to try and kill you.' Sounds perfect. I will consider it, okay?

That’s okay, Alfie will make you eventually. They just wanted to give you a chance to do it yourself. Jason chimed in. He was probably right. 

I’ll consider it. Shouldn’t you boys be getting ready for early patrol? Usually he’d leave right after the Birds for the first patrol of the night but Alfred had mandated a ‘One Patrol on JL Meeting Days’ rule. He’d join them later tonight for the second shift. 

Nice avoidance, old man. But yes. Don’t ‘consider it too long or you won’t get a choice anymore. Jason used finger quotes as he led the other boys to the study. Bruce sighed, this ‘making friends’ thing was tough. 

Chapter Text

The Bat was in the cave working on plans for a new base of operations. For the Justice League, not himself. The Batcave had functioned amazingly for centuries and would continue to do so. 
 
The JL’s abysmal security was driving Bruce insane. It was just a building! He was too scared to check, but he was pretty sure the front doors didn’t even lock. He’d have to do a lot more than just up security to keep the League safe, this required a brand new start. 
 
Batman also really wanted to rename it, which would be easier if it was a fresh location. “Hall of Justice”? Horrible. Almost as bad as the Justice League. They may as well call themselves “Good Guys who Save the World”. Plus, he never got to name things which he definitely wasn’t grumpy about.  
 
“Master Bruce, if you’re quite done with your blueprints, the boys are waiting upstairs for family movie morning.”
 
He’d lost track of time again. It was a miracle Tim wasn’t actually related to him, the way they both got invested in their projects. 
 
Sorry, Alfie. Be right up. 
 
“See that you are,” came the reply before the man went back upstairs. The Bat filed the papers and supplies away for later and followed him up. The family had taken a break from patrolling tonight, Bruce wasn’t even supposed to be working in the cave. He’d gone down to grab a hoodie he’d left in a locker, and gotten distracted by the papers on his desk. 
 
The Birds were in the movie room when he got there, waiting as Alfred had said they would be. They’d all settled into a nest similar to the bedroom’s but smaller. Spare blankets, mostly Dick’s of course, covered the surface and a few of Damian’s stuffed animals could be seen poking out. Tim’s latest project was next to the nest. He was probably worried someone would roll onto it and squish it if he brought it in with him. A valid concern. 
 
Too busy with your blueprints for your own sons? Jason teased him. Bruce gave a hmph in return. 
 
Obviously, Father was writing love sonnets to the alien. Damian joked back. 
 
Dear Boy Scout, you’re so strong and amazing. My heart burns for you! I count the days until the next meeting so I may see you again! Jason swooned, falling back into a pile of cushions. 
 
Ha ha He chirped sarcastically. I was working on a new base for the League. 
 
As a courting gift for Superman, obviously. Even Tim was in on it now. 
 
Be nice guys! That’s our future stepfather you’re talking about! Dick added. Bruce wished he’d stayed in the cave. Ignoring the teasing, he grabbed his eldest by the back of his shirt, scruffing him like a kitten with his talons. Climbing into the nest, he dragged Dick over to him before turning to the others and doing the same. He pulled them all into a pile until he was surrounded by Birds. 
 
Whatever, I’m sorry I got distracted okay? Can we watch a movie now? His boys laughed at him but settled in to watch. The boys had argued about what to choose before Bruce had made it upstairs. Dick wanted to watch a romantic comedy, and Jason voted action, but secretly also wanted a romance movie. He wasn’t fooling anybody. Damian required at least one animal to be present and for it to survive the film. 
 
Tim eventually chimed in with an older fairy tale for a pick. It had romance, action, and comedy for the older two. Plus there was the trusty sidekick dog who lived happily ever after and a dragon protecting a castle that was befriended by the hero instead of slain. It was unanimously agreed upon as the best decision. 
 
The Bat didn’t care what they watched, they’d all probably be asleep halfway through anyway. The sun would be up in less than an hour. He just wanted an excuse to cuddle with his children and relax. 
 
Bruce didn’t make it far into the movie before he began to doze off. He hadn’t even realized until Tim poked him. He looked up to see a dragon on a castle spire, protecting it from invasion. Around him, most of the others had fallen asleep as well. Dick was curled around Damian on his left and Jason was leaning against him on his right. Tim was above Dick’s head, probably having escaped the cage of cuddles that was his oldest brother. The sleeping boys were all purring, content in their pile. 
 
You’re making a new base to protect the League, right? The Bat wasn’t sure what this had to do with the movie but he nodded anyway. And the League protects Earth? Tim asked. Bruce hummed in agreement. You should call it the Watchtower. Like in a castle. The League is the dragon on top of the tower and the Earth is the princess it’s protecting inside the walls. He smiled at his son who grinned back. 
 
That's a great idea, chum. Watchtower it is. Maybe not naming it wouldn’t be so bad. Watchtower had a nice ring to it. 
 
—-
 
First patrol was typically easier than the second patrol. Early in the night, the criminals were still paranoid about the Bat and Birds, there were fewer drunks, and Gotham was relatively calm. 
 
The Birds -and occasionally the Bat- loved taking this time to play tag, leaping between rooftops and grappling up buildings. It was a game that had started with Nightingale and Cardinal and that continued today. 
 
It was also a good time to check the window sills. Batman would check for any good gifts for his kids, but also for any good information that could help him. Despite the city’s high crime rate, many of its citizens were not criminals. People liked to leave notes for the Bat and Birds if they knew something helpful. He also made sure to read the kids’ notes to him. Not only were they super cute, but sometimes the child would write about being hurt or crime in the family. It had led his sons to more than one person who was never found again. 
 
The Bat did not have the same ideals about killing as the Birds, but they respected each other’s stances. They’d been undead for so long the family was used to seeing death. Batman had seen people turn their lives around before they died. He wanted everyone to have that chance. Not to say he'd never killed before. Someone could only threaten his children for so long before Bruce decided it wasn't worth the risk. The Birds had seen so many people hurt that could have been spared if one evil had been taken from the world. They would do the job if they had to. 
 
Looking down, the Bat could see a dripping red bat drawn onto one of the windows. Its sill was empty. Cardinal must have been by and grabbed what was in it. As much as his sons liked the gifts, they could only take so many before they had too much. Instead, they tended to give the presents away. Jason liked to bring things to Crime Alley, the area he’d lived in while alive. He knew what most of the kids there liked and would bring something to them if he saw a gift that fit the criteria. 
 
Nightingale donated extra blankets and hoodies to the homeless shelter that they approved of -the ones that weren’t corrupt or abusive. Magpie got bored of his projects after he finished making them so he’d give them away. People had even started leaving out animal food and supplies for Robin to bring to strays and shelters. 
 
Batman was pulled from his musings by a noise a few rooftops away. He turned to see Superman floating inches above a roof a block or so away. His bright colors were like a neon sign in the dark city. He’d better grab the Boy Scout before someone tried to kidnap or kill him. 
 
He made his way across the buildings silently, sticking to the shadows that pooled around him. By the time he’d made it to the hero, he was sitting on the dirty roof doodling in the grime. A case file sat next to him closed. The Bat sighed. 
 
What do you want Clark? The man turned to where he crouched in the shadows, following the sound of his chirping. 
 
“Hi Bat. I was having some trouble with a case and thought you might be able to help me.” He smiled at the shadow. Curse the puppy dog eyes that made Bruce cave and allow the man into Gotham. 
 
He slunk out of the darkness closer to the files on the ground. Clark grabbed the papers and handed them over while talking. 
 
“You seem much more in your element here. Not that you don’t back at the hall, but the bright lights don’t match you as well as the darkness here. I prefer the light myself. Did you know my powers come from the sun? That’s probably why I prefer light. Do you have powers? Are they powered by darkness? That’d be cool we’d be opposites.” 
 
Batman didn’t reply to Superman’s ramblings, reading over the file in his claws. It was a fairly straightforward case. He couldn’t find any twists or strange details that would lead to Clark having trouble. The Bat looked up at the other hero. 
 
“Needed help?” He rasped, eyebrow raised under his cowl. 
 
“uh yeah, something just felt off you know? Definitely missing something, yup. Thought you might enjoy helping.” Bruce noted in his head: ‘Superman sucks at lying’. He hummed at the man floating an inch off the ground. Before he could portray his doubt, however, a screech came from his left. 
 
“Blue!” Nightingale cried as he happily launched himself at Clark. To the man’s credit, he barely flinched when the zombie teen clung to him with his razor claws and bared his fangs in a toothy grin. 
 
“Hi Nightingale how have you been?” 
 
“Good! Like gifts. Thank. B wears socks al-ways.” Bruce squawked at his son. He betrayed him so easily. Superman beamed up at the Bat. 
 
“I’m glad you like them. Did you help Bat make the brownies? They were very good.” 
 
“Help Alf. B can’t cook.” He was never letting Dick out of the manor again.
 
Where are your brothers? Nightingale turned his head away from Superman, still clinging to him. 
 
Tag. They don’t like Clark as much. Cardinal was hoping for Wonder Woman. he chirped as he climbed over Clark’s shoulder onto his back. The man didn’t seem bothered by the smear of blue left in his wake. To be fair it blended in well with his costume. 
 
“Fly?” He asked the hero, who looked back at the Bat. 
 
“If your father is okay with it.” Bruce worried slightly, Dick’s death on his mind. It had taken some time before the newly dead Bird had trusted that Bruce would always catch him. If Nightingale fell while flying with Superman, he wouldn’t be able to. 
 
He could trust Superman though. The man wouldn’t drop him and Dick wouldn’t fall, he tried to remind himself. Fine, he said while nodding so Clark understood what he had said. 
 
“Yes!” Nightingale cried. 
 
Batman waited on the roof as they flew around, never leaving his sight. He didn’t bother opening the case again, Clark didn’t really need help. The duo flew for a bit before Superman landed on the roof again, gently letting Nightingale slide off his back. 
 
The Bird couldn’t stop smiling. It felt like the circus again, B! It was awesome!  Dick was jumping around excitedly. The Bat watched amused at his son’s antics. Nightingale turned back to Clark. 
 
“Come for din-ner?” Of course, his son would do that to him. All four of them loved torturing him. Clark turned to Bruce for permission. He nodded back at the man and sighed. He couldn’t say no he’d never hear the end of it from his sons and his father would think it rude. Clark would end up coming over eventually anyway. Once his sons made up their minds they always got what they wanted. They’d go to Metropolis and kidnap the man before admitting defeat. 
 
“I’d love to. What time?” Nightingale gave him the time and directions. “Clark, not Superman. Alf doesn’t like suits at din-ner.”
 
“Good to know. I’ll see you there.” He said before taking off back to Metropolis. B glared at his eldest, who just smiled back. 
 
Jay told you. Make the decision or it’ll be made for you. The Bat launched himself at his son, who dodged giggling. They joined the others in tag for a while, stopping occasionally to deal with a crime, before heading back to the manor. They had to tell Alfred to plan for an extra plate tonight. 

Chapter Text

The Bat never panicked. He was always calm no matter the situation. Always. He definitely was not freaking out in the least that Superman was about to come eat dinner with the family. 

This counted as being friends right? He’d never had a friend meet his family before or come to the manor. It was terrifying. What if his kids scared Clark away? They were a lot to handle. Clark had met them already though, he tried to reason. Not that it had ended up great, they’d ended up yelling at the hero and telling him to never come back. Bruce groaned. This was going to be a disaster. 

Bruce had followed Alfred around the kitchen, trying to make sure everything turned out perfect, before he was quickly banished from the room by his father. Then he’d tried finding each of his sons, hoping one could help distract him. 

When none of them could be found in the nest he tried checking their individual rooms. They were more storage rooms for the kids’ stuff than bedrooms, it was incredibly rare for them to be used for sleep. Today proved the exception, Bruce mused when he found Tim in his room passed out over a laptop. 

The Bat picked up his son to move him to the nest. It seemed like he did this daily, the boy could fall asleep anywhere. Bruce was just glad that Tim was getting sleep. After tucking the little Bird into the soft blankets he set out to find the other three. Someone would wake Tim for dinner later. 

Bruce opened the door to Damian’s room to find him lying on the floor drawing. His son, having heard the door open, turned and hissed at him. He obviously didn’t want to be disrupted at the moment. The Bat closed the door again. 

He searched the upper floor a bit more, not finding the eldest two sons in their rooms. Eventually he gave up and checked the main floor. They weren’t there either, which left one place. Bruce made his way down to the cave to find Nightingale and Cardinal play fighting on the mats. 

The Birds whirled around the training equipment as blue and red streaks. He was glad his sons were at least working out their energy. They’d probably be too distracted by Superman coming to visit to put on 2nd shift tonight. Bruce did not want to be in a nest with them when they weren’t tired. Last time that had happened he’d gotten kicked in the ribs at least three times. 

Dick and Jason stopped when they realized their father had joined them in the cave. They caught their breath, still balanced on the gym equipment. 

Making sure everyone’s alive gramps? Cardinal called out to him. 

He’s just panicking cause Supes is coming to dinner. B’s worried we’ll embarrass him or something. 

Aw don’t worry B. If you haven’t scared him off yet I don’t think he’ll go. You’re stuck with him now. Like gum. Jason laughed. 

His sons’ teasing helped calm him down from his self induced panic. Jason was right, Clark seemed frustratingly stubborn and hell bent on spending time with him. He smiled at his eldest. 

Why are you in your costumes still? We’re not going back out again tonight.  They’d been home for hours now, there was no reason for them to still be in their outfits. 

Its easier to fight in costume. His sons shrugged, The armor is better than a sweater when we bite each other. Of course they’d put on their costumes so they could bite each other. It was a good thing they couldn’t die because they definitely would have killed each other by not otherwise. 

The Bat sighed. Get changed. Dinner is in less than an hour and Alfred won’t be happy if you’re in costume when he calls for us.

The boys jumped from their perches and raced to the lockers. Bruce could hear them yelling and running around as they took off their costumes. He couldn’t have one second of peace with them and he wouldn’t have it any other way. He loved his menace children. Bruce sat at the computer to wait for the boys to change.

After hearing the duo run out of the changing room, Bruce looked up to see an explosion of color barreling towards him. Dick, decked out in his usual annoyingly bright clothes, was running full speed towards his father, having abandoned his chase of Jason. 

Bruce could tell immediately that Dick planned on ‘tagging’ him into the game and launched himself off the desk he had been sitting on. Despite his bat-socks‘ poor traction, he was able to duck out of his eldest’s reach and escape being tagged. 

Jason had sprinted after his brother, not wanting to be far from the action, but quickly changed directions with a grinning Bruce headed towards him followed by a laughing Dick. 

The trio of vigilantes chased each other around the dim cave, jumping on equipment and scaling walls. They used every trick possible to avoid being ‘it’. Jason was eventually caught by Dick when he accidentally cornered himself in the med bay. He quickly recovered and tackled Bruce before his father could realize Dick was no longer it. 

The Birds made eye contact and simultaneously ran up the stairs to the manor. Hopefully the hardwood would prove a good disadvantage to Bruce. They also relished the possibility of wrangling one of the younger siblings into the game. 

They burst out of the study into the hallway and began to dart through rooms. Bruce could hear their footfalls through the manor and managed not to lose them in the large house. 

The group ducked through living rooms, libraries, and sitting rooms. Bruce almost nabbed Jason’s ankle running up the staircase to the bedrooms, but the boy moved just in time. The Bat could feel the air displaced by his son in his claws. He growled good-naturedly and continued his hunt. 

Damian and Tim peeked out of the master bedroom doorway after hearing the thunderous noises coming from the hall. It seemed that the youngest had gone for a nap with Tim after completing his latest art piece. 

The youngest two -now between the older group and the staircase- booked it downstairs, determined not to lose so soon after joining. Bruce thought he had managed to catch up to Dick and Jason but he underestimated them. Instead of running down the staircase, they leapt over the railing and dropped to the floor below. 

The two thumps of them hitting the ground were quickly followed by a third, as the Bat did not hesitate to follow their lead. The Birds all managed to meet up in the hall accidentally. Adamant that their father stay ‘it’, all four ran to the doorway down the hallway. They knew it lead to a sitting room that had a back doorway towards more of the manor. Hopefully, they could make it through and split up, making it harder for Bruce to keep track of them all. Then they could circle around and sabotage him, making sure the unlucky Bird who the Bat targeted stayed safe. 

Luckily for Bruce, they were not too far ahead of him, and he was able to see the group duck through the door. He threw himself around the opening and ran face first into the Birds. 

The boys had stopped short after entering the sitting room, once they saw who was inside. Clark -not Superman. He’d remembered not to wear his uniform- was sitting on one of the couches, fidgeting uncomfortably but smiling pleasantly at Alfred. Their grandfather sat across from the farm boy, a set of tea between them on the coffee table. He raised his eyebrow at the young zombies who had stormed into the room, unimpressed by their display. 

They’d only had a second to take in the sight before them before they all ended up in a pile on the floor. Bruce looked up, confused as to why his sons had halted, to see an equally confused, yet amused, Clark and a disappointed father looking at him. This was not how he had imagined greeting Clark when he came over. 

Apparently Clark had arrived while they played, too distracted by winning to hear a ring or knock on the door. Alfred must have greeted him and led him to the sitting room where he would entertain the man until they all gathered for dinner. Bruce was sure he also subtly interrogated the hero while they drank tea. No one in the family was capable of not being paranoid when it came to their loved ones’ safety. 

—- 

Clark had in fact been greeted by Alfred at the front door. The mansion had surprised him when he’d arrived. Nightingale had called it a manor, but that didn’t mean he was prepared for the beautiful building he walked up to. 

He’d followed the Bird’s instructions to fly over the woods at the edge of Gotham for a few miles before coming upon their home. A surprisingly manicured mansion sat in the middle of the gnarled and dark forest. He was still nervous he had the wrong place until Alfred opened the door. 

The foyer was beautiful and spotless, much like the yard out front. There seemed to be an invisible boundary that separated the property from the forest. On one side grew vines and barbed bushes. The other was a meticulous garden and lawn. 

Bat’s father had taken his coat and led him to a sitting room, where he’d already had hot tea waiting. He felt like he was on the wrong end of an interview. The man was subtle, but Clark was a reporter and could pick up that this was more than the average idle chitchat. 

He did his best to answer anything asked of him honestly. Hopefully Alfred approved of him, he was a little terrifying. The conversation hadn’t gotten far before he could hear a cacophony of sounds, including chirps and trills. He hadn’t even used super-hearing, they were just loud. Clark assumed that was the rest of the family. 

“Uh, I don’t mean to change the topic, but what are they doing exactly?”

“Not to worry, Master Clark.” He couldn’t get Alfred to drop the ‘master’ title either. “They are simply playing. I am sure they will make their way here with time.”

He dropped the subject, Alfred would know after all. Clark did find himself hoping that they would come sooner than later. The man was being extremely polite, but he was a bit scared being in a room with Alfred alone. More worried that he’d insult his friend’s father on accident than of Alfred hurting him. 

The not-interview lasted a bit longer before being suddenly interrupted. Four Birds -sans costume- had burst through the doorway. Obviously not expecting to see anyone in the room, they simultaneously slid to a stop. 

Clark only had a second to look at them before they were all on the ground, joined by another being. He assumed it was the Bat, they matched body types and sizes, but he seemed so much … softer out of costume. Instead of rigid Kevlar he wore a soft hoodie and sweats. 

Clark could also see his full face for the first time. He still had the same infinitely black eyes, but he seemed so much more human. And kind of pretty, he couldn’t help but think. 

He pushed that from his mind as he made eye contact with the Bat. Clark had never seen him look surprised before and it was adorable with his large black eyes. He smiled at the vigilante, wondering what the family had been doing. 

“Hi Bat. And Birds.” Nightingale -he assumed based on the bright sweater- scrambled from the group and launched himself at Clark. He let out a happy chirp as he jumped onto the couch next to him. 

“Thank you for inviting me, Nightingale.”

“Dick.” Clark had no idea how to respond to that. 

“His name, Master Clark. Short for Richard.”

“Oh. Nice to meet you Dick.” It hadn’t really dawned on him that the Bat and Birds would have different names. The more he got to know them the more normal they seemed. 

He looked back over to the pile of heroes, who had mostly managed to sort themselves out. He was pretty sure he could place them all. Magpie and Robin were the easiest, given their unique sizes. Cardinal and the Bat were more similar, but their demeanors were different. Cardinal also had that white tuft of hair that poked through his costume. 

Cardinal had managed to remove himself from the others and stand, but Magpie was still squirming on the ground. Robin was on top of him, making no effort to move. Actually, he was staring at Clark which was a little terrifying. It was not a friendly look. 

The Bat righted himself and looked at his youngest children. He grabbed Robin by the neck of his sweater, much like a mother cat scruffing a kitten and placed the little bird on his hip. Robin didn’t break eye contact. Magpie chirped at his father, who then scruffed him as well before setting him on his feet. 

“How well know Wonder Woman?” Cardinal had jumped onto the couch and shoved Dick out of the way. 

“I consider us friends. I think she does too.” Cardinal turned to his father and chirped before speaking in English. 

“She’s better. Invite her next.” He couldn’t help but laugh at the Bird’s words. 

“I’ll ask her if I can give you her number next time I see her. I’m sure she would be happy to talk to you.” The red Bird lit up at that, satisfied with Clark for now. 

“Jason” he introduced himself. Dick pushed Jason off himself and onto the floor now that the conversation was over. 

He hadn’t interacted with the younger birds much yet. Turning to the three remaining members, he chose to ignore the death glare Robin was sending him. 

Magpie seemed wary of Clark and was partially behind Bat. The Bat pushed him forward a bit, but allowed him to stay by his side. 

“Tim” he said quietly. He was adorable. 

“Nice to meet you, Tim” Clark smiled. Tim didn’t seem to want to say anymore and the rest of the group turned to the eldest -other than Alfred. Probably- and youngest members. 

After a beat of Robin not moving, his father decided he wasn’t going to say anything. The Bat shifted the little one up and spoke for the first time. 

“Damian.” Then he looked at Clark and introduced himself. “Bruce.” He smiled at Bruce, happy to know his new friend’s name. 

“Hi Bruce.” The Bat smiled back, shyly.

“Well, now that the introductions are out of the way, I suppose it is time for dinner.”

Chapter Text

The Dining Room of the manor was much too formal for their meal this evening. If they used the table there their seats would be too far away to hear each other. The group ended up settling at the dinner table in the kitchen, where the family usually ate. 

Bruce sat at the head of the table with Dick and Jason on either side of him. Tim sat down next to Jason and Damian next to Dick. It had taken some time for the family to figure out the optimal seating arrangement that minimized meal-time stabbings. 

That left the other end seat open for Clark. He was somewhat nervous to be sitting next to Damian, hoping he could get through the meal without kryptonite being pointed at him. It wouldn’t be surprising if one of the Birds or the Bat had some, they appeared to be prepared for any situation. 

Clark would not admit it to anyone else but the small boy scared him. To be fair, he was an undead vigilante child and was older than he appeared. The more he thought about it, the sadder it was. If the Bird appeared to be about ten now, how old had he been when he’d died? Was it recent? Wanting a distraction from the morbid thoughts, he glanced at Tim. 

The little Bird was looking at something in his lap, ignoring everyone at the table. Clark gave in to his temptation and cheated. He used his X-ray vision and peeked at what had Tim so enamored. In his lap was some sort of mechanical gizmo. He didn’t really have enough engineering knowledge to know exactly what it was. 

“What have you got there?” He asked Magpie quietly. He didn’t want to draw attention to the boy, sensing it would only stress him out. Tim looked over at him with wide eyes. Clark felt like his soul was being judged by the black voids. Trying to act like it wasn’t off-putting he smiled sincerely at the Bird. 

“For B” he rasped quietly. Clark was somehow creeped out by this child while also wanting to pick him up and squeeze him from pure adorableness. 

“Oh? What’s it do?” 

“Track him.” Clark had thought ‘For B’ meant a gift. Apparently, it meant a secret surveillance device. Creepy and adorable. 

“It’s kind of big, isn’t it? Won’t he notice it if it’s on him?”

“No. The oth-er piece on B now. This says where.” He wondered if Batman knew he was already being tracked by his 13-year-old kid. The way Tim kept glancing at his father during the conversation made Clark think the answer to that was ‘no’.

“That’s pretty neat. I’m not super good with technology. Can you show me how it works?” Usually asking kids to show him their stuff worked, hopefully, zombie kids weren’t any different. To Clark’s relief, Tim lit up a bit and showed him the contraption until Alfred entered the room with dinner. He still didn’t understand it that well. 

“Green plates are vegetarian. Need I remind you not to use claws? If I see any scratches on my plates there will be hell to pay.” Apparently, that was a recurring issue if Alfred had to mention it. Tim in particular slouched in his seat. Everything this family did amused Clark to no end. 

Everyone began to dig in. The food was amazing, it could almost rival Ma’s a very high compliment in Clark’s books. Silverware and plates clattering was the only sound for some minutes while everyone ate, somewhat frantically. He could see why scratches would be an issue with the way the family was eating. 

The quiet was interrupted by Dick, who was already over halfway done with his first plate. “What is League like?”

Clark smiled after taking another bite. “Like a group of friends that are coworkers that regularly fight. Almost like a second family, I suppose.” He hadn’t actually ever thought of it that way before, but saying it felt right. They hadn’t been together for a long time, but he could easily see them all meaning much more to each other as time went on. 

“Second?” Bruce asked. “Who first?” Right, the world thought Superman was an alien from Krypton. Which he was, but they didn’t know about the Kents. It was safer that way. Clark inexplicably felt he could trust the Bat and Birds, though. 

“The story for the media isn’t the full truth. I am a Kryptonian, but I landed on Earth as a baby, not recently. I was raised by my family on a farm in Kansas. I’m more Clark Kent than I am Superman.”

“What on farm?” It was the first time Damian had really talked to him yet. It was a weird detail to ask given the whole explanation, he’d think being an alien or having a secret family would be more interesting. Clark wasn’t going to question it though. Not if he had the possibility of earning the smallest Bird’s approval. 

“The plants are usually corn and soy. We have some chickens and ducks, but mostly cows.” Robin lit up a bit at that, clearly trying to not act excited. He must really like animals. Clark supposed that all made sense given the stuffed animals and questions. Now that he thought about it Damian had only eaten from the green plates, not to mention the Bird had actually deigned to talk to him. 

“Can see? Like cows.” He had turned to his father now to ask. 

“Far. Other time if Clark a-llows.” Damian seemed to expect the answer. 

“Ma would love to have you. She enjoys it when I bring people, says she doesn’t get to cook big meals enough now that it’s just her and Pa. I think she just likes seeing I have friends, cause I eat dinner with them at least once a week.” 

“Yes!” Dick says “Go to Kansas!” 

“You just want flying again.” Jason kicked his shin. The action started a mini battle beneath the table. 

“No knives!” Bruce had to grab the utensil out of Jason‘s hand before someone could be stabbed. Clark laughed at the elder Birds’ shenanigans as the Bat silently begged him to jot encourage the teenagers. Dinner continued in much of the same way for another 45 minutes before everyone had gotten enough to eat. 

Clark considered it a great success that he had only been hissed at by Damian two times since the Bird had found out about the farm. He’d also gotten Tim to say 4 more sentences. On top of that, no Kryptonite had made an appearance! Clark was pretty proud of himself. 

The Bat’s father had ushered the group to a sitting room off the main hallway, telling them to play some games before morning. Before leaving them to it, the man uttered a quick 

“And if I find any more broken heirlooms in this manor, you will all be cleaning every room, top to bottom, instead of patrol tomorrow.” 

The family took the threat seriously and decided that since there weren’t any throwable game pieces, UNO was the best choice for a game. The group ignored that they were skilled enough to cause damage by throwing the cards.

“Red” Jason called the color as he put down a +4 card. Dick stuck his tongue out at him and pouted as he grabbed four more cards from the deck. 

“You don’t have red, cretin, you just did because of Cardinal!” Damian shouted. 

“What gonna do Baby Bat? Stab me?” Clark feared the youngest Bird was going to when Robin pulled a katana out. “Dare you, demon.” Jason bared his fangs at his little brother. Damian retaliated by throwing his cards down and launching himself across the circle. 

As the Bat and Nightingale tried separating the two boys, Clark looked over at Tim. The Bird was in the middle of taking advantage of the fight by switching out some of his own cards with Damian’s. Magpie gave him an innocent look when he realized he was being watched, but still switched the cards to his advantage. Clark winked at him, not about to give up the small Bird’s secret. 

“It seems like this happens a lot.”

“Every time we play,” Tim said with no inflection. This pulled a chuckle from Clark, who turned back to see how the brawl was going. Bruce was behind Jason, arms around his chest to hold him back. Dick was in a similar position with Damian but was struggling a bit more. The Bird’s small stature worked as an advantage as he squirmed out of his older brother’s grasp. 

Clark looked back to Bruce and made eye contact. The Bat’s eyes may not have any color in them, but he could still read the man’s expression clearly. It screamed  Please help . Something about the terrifying and mysterious Bat being defeated by his sons‘ fighting made Clark lose it. He burst out with laughter, only causing Bruce to despair more, obviously not about to receive any help from the super. 

Superman floated on his back as he laughed, holding his stomach. It was good he didn’t  need  to breathe because he’d be struggling if he did. The laughing spread through the room until the fighting had stopped and everyone had joined in. The group fell into a puddle on the floor, the card game forgotten. 

It wasn’t long before the boys were back up running through the room, while Clark and Bruce stayed down. 

“You definitely have your hands full.” A grumbling agreement was the only answer. Clark felt like he was getting better at reading the responses from the Bat. Was it possible for him to learn the Bat-Bird language? That may be a fun challenge when he has some free time. Though, balancing his reporting job and Superman already took up more than enough of his time. 

Clark's thoughts were interrupted by a sound. It was almost like something vibrating? He looked over to Bruce before realizing it was the Bat. He was purring. The others must have heard because they soon began climbing over the two adults. 

It must have been closer to dawn than anyone had realized because the Birds had finally slowed down. A big yawn came from Jason as he snuggled under his father’s arm. Clark let out an  Oof  as Dick landed across his stomach and Tim curled between the super and the Bat. Damian ended up curled up on Bruce's chest. 

Everyone began to doze and Clark wondered how he'd ever been scared of this family. He smiled at the Birds surrounding him. If he curled a bit closer to the Bat, no one was awake enough to notice.