Chapter Text
After drinking coffee as breakfast, Stolas tended to his plants before going to his study, where he was planning to spend the rest of the morning. After all, he had managed to find healing spells he could use, but he knew he would need more practice if he wanted to be able to cast them on himself once hurt. Sadly, working on it must have acted as a kind of bad luck, because he had barely begun that one of Stella’s hellhounds came from the door.
“Here you are. She’s asking for you in your bedroom”, the hound, the chihuahua like, told him with a neutral tone.
Stolas tensed upon seeing him, and for a second he couldn’t help but imagine knocking the hellhound out since he was alone, before turning that idea away and closing the book he was working on.
It would only delay the inevitable and put Blitz at risk. It wasn’t worth it.
So he stood up to follow the henchman. As he approached him to get out of his study, the hellhound cast him a smirk.
“You wanted to avoid me, huh? Better warn you: don’t try to hide or harm us when we’re wandering alone to get you, she monitors us and that wouldn’t end very well for your little friend, got it? Same goes if you try to hurt her directly, but you probably already knows that.”
Stolas simply nodded, but winced internally. He was definitely glad he had stopped his impulse quickly, but the fact it showed enough for the hellhound to realize what he was thinking was definitely not a good thing. He tried to put his mindset in one that would fit what was going to happen, that was the best thing he could do since he couldn’t dissociate. Sure, this was useful information he had just been given, but if Stella had heard that, then she was definitely going to make the start a harsh one.
He led the way back to his room and was greeted there with the rest of the group, which meant Stella had probably told the other two to come back as soon as the one with the owl had found his target.
“Hey, Stolas, it’s been way too long!” She mocked him as the door was closed and locked behind him. “I heard you weren’t too keen on seeing me? I hope you’re not having stupid ideas, unless you want someone dead, right?”
"Like you, for example?"
The group turned around to who made that voice, but found no one.
"Who the fuck said that?" the Shar Pei asked.
"Stolas, if one of your tiny ass butlers are still in here, then I suggest you tell them to fuck off before we do it ourselves!" the watchdog threatened.
"Sir, none of the employees are allowed to enter our quarters without our permission. I doubt they would sneak in here."
"Jesus Christ, idiots look to your left!"
The group did what they were told and found the couch that lied there.
"Yes, it's me, the couch. I'm the one speaking to you all."
Wait... the couch can talk?
"Okay, Stolass, nice joke! Now knock it off already and let's just get this shit over with already!" Stella groaned before she shot a glance to the wrinkled hellhound who extended his arm toward Stolas.
“Give me your phone”, he commanded.
"Stolas, don't you dare give him your phone! He's going to install spyware on it to track you so you won't escape!"
By this point, the hellhounds were getting annoyed with the couch talking and mocking them. It was clear by now that Stolas was not controlling it, and they also ruled out being on drugs. That meant the couch was alive and breathing.
"What is your deal, bro? Why do you of all things have to talk and have an attitude?" the chihuahua confronted the couch.
"Because I was forced to watch two of these shitty ass torture sessions already while Stella sat her fatass on the couch and even farted on me like it was no one's business! How did you all not hear her letting it rip? Now I suggest you all fuck off and leave Stolas alone for once before I take drastic measures!"
However, this caused the group to laugh.
"You're a fucking couch! You can't do shit to us!" Stella mocked. "And I did not fart on you! I don't know where the hell you got that from!"
However, the couch was tired of the disrespect, so it proceeded to grow arms and legs and stood up, shocking everyone.
"Alright, you jerks want to do things the hard way? Sure thing!"
The couch then suddenly snatched the Shar Pei and proceeded to slam his body numerous times, similar to how the Hulk slammed Loki in the Avengers. The might of the slams ended up giving the Shar Pei a concussion before he died when his brain exploded on impact.
"HOLY SHIT!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THE COUCH DID THAT!!!" the chihuahua screamed in terror. "STOLAS, TELL YOUR COUCH TO STOP FUCKING HIM UP!!!"
"Are you kidding me right now? After what you all did to me, you think I'm just going to help you? NO!!! As a matter of fact, I'm not doing shit! Couch, finish them!"
The couch nodded and roped up Stella and the other two hellhounds before assaulting them. The chihuahua and watchdog screamed as they felt themselves get injured from its punches. Stella, on the other hand, shrieked her ass off as the couch ripped up her dress and exposed her body in nothing but her bra and panties, in which it kicked and punched her.
"STOP!!! OH MY GOD!!! IT HUUUUUUUUUUUUURTS!!!" Stella shrieked as she tried, but failed to get out of its grasp.
"Oh, torture isn't so fun when you're on the other hand, huh?" the couch mocked before finishing them off by opening a window and throwing them out the window and sending them to the sky. Needless to say, the group wasn't going to be seen anytime soon. As if things couldn't get any crazier, the couch would gram Stolas's grimiore and open a portal to where the snipers were at. Before they can even react, the couch threw a bomb at them and it exploded, killing them.
"WOW! How did you learn to use my grimiore?" Stolas asked as the portal closed.
"I've watched you in silence for years, Stolas. I know your practices with the grimiore, as well as having to be a bare witness to you and Blitzo fucking, and of course, the torture sessions. I had enough of watching Stella abuse you while you just took it all, and seeing how it was going to be a long time for Blitzo to notice, if at all, I decided to take matters into my own hands. Hopefully, Stella will leave you alone going forward."
With that, the couch returned to its inanimate self. Stolas couldn't believe that something like a couch would be the one to rescue him from torture. He also wasn't sure he it figured out that Stella planned to install a tracking app on his phone. It probably overheard them while they were trying to look for him. Just for kicks, he decided to sniff the couch to see if the fart allegations were truth, and lo and behold, he gagged when he smelled old farts trapped underneath the couch. Those farts smelled an awful lot like Stella's. Basically, not only did she enjoying watching him get hurt, she was even defacing his furniture with her gas.
"I just hope Stella finally leaves me alone..." Stolas thought to himself as he left the room to clear his head.