Chapter Text
Jim wakes up on the hard floor. Hip joints and low back complaining already. He stretches. It takes him a second to remember why he's down here. Oh, yeah. He, Spock and Nyota had made a floor pallet of blankets and pillows, because Jim's bunk was too small for three people to stretch out, and none of them had wanted to part for sleep last night. As soon as they register their new relationship status with Starfleet, Jim will commission a bigger bed. ASAP.
"Mmmm, Spock and Uhura in a great big bed," Jim thinks of his Loves and smiles before he even opens his eyes.
He's slept, sandwiched between them and he feels their warmth on either side of him. Spock radiating dessert heat on his left, still as a stone. On his right, Uhura makes a soft sound of waking and Jim rolls towards her, spooning up against her silken backside. Her long hair is in his face. She must have fallen asleep before putting on her silk bonnet. He accidentally breathes a strand of it in, and as he's fishing it out of his mouth, Jim suddenly gasps and sits up, shocked to discover he's residing in his own body once again.
He wiggles his fingers and toes. Pokes his face and chest. Lifts the sheets off his lap and peeks at Little Tiberius. Yes! James T. Kirk is in his own skin again.
"Nyota!" Jim whispers, shaking her lovely brown shoulder gently. It gets no response. He looks down at her sleeping profile. Surely he couldn't have been that pretty when he was in there, could he? Most of it is just her. Nyota is beyond beautiful, an angel. He tries again, "Wake up, Lieutenant Uhura!"
That gets her sitting up and opening her eyes, halfway to emergency scramble mode when awareness dawns and she blinks up into Jim's smiling face.
"Hi," he says. "Guess what?"
"Oh! Jim!" Nyota's response is pure joy. She looks at him and then looks down at her own naked body, laughing, pats herself all over. All her bits accounted for.
Spock is awake then, sitting up, tiny questioning crinkle between his pointy black eyebrows, sleep mussed bangs, "Nyota? Jim? Are you well?"
They turn and grab Spock in a big three person hug, which naturally, tumbles them into a pile half on top of him. He's stronger than both of them put together but he doesn't resist. Falling back, Spock's favorite humans are a tangle of arms and legs atop him, and there's bare skin everywhere sending him waves of their happiness through every point of contact, and everything feels different through their bond.
Spock realizes what has happened even before Jim chirps, "I'm in here!" and Nyota is saying "We switched back!" and now they're all kissing again, this time with their own mouths. And it is glorious.
It physically hurts Spock to have to stop them from taking it further but they really must report this to Med Bay immediately. Protocol demands a meeting of the Command, Science and Engineering crew heads. Further, the three of them are due on the Bridge for duty in 36.45 minutes. There is no time for celebration nor fornication.
"Captain, we cannot -" he tries but Jim is crawling into Spock's lap while kissing Nyota and Spock is suddenly, uncharacteristically, not concerned with protocol anymore in the slightest.
After only a few, short passionate minutes of reunion with their bodies, it is Jim, a Captain even now, who is the one able to tear himself away, to the surprise of the other two. He reluctantly peels Spock's hungry hands off and scooches Nyota to the side, then crawls out of their floor nest. She and Spock are treated to the tempting sight of his perfect behind retreating, then Kirk's up and going.
Mouth and brain already running at warp speed, Captain Kirk is back in action, "I gotta shower and then page Mr. Scott and Mr. Keenser. If Sulu's back, Spock can you please fill him in? Uhura and I will have to report to Med Bay first. I need you to take the Bridge for me at 08:00. You'll have the Con until we're both cleared for duty, First Officer. But Bones is going to want you down to Med Bay for questioning later, too, I'm sure."
Then to his other lover, he says, "Uhura, can you meet me in Med Bay in fifteen minutes? I have a feeling we're about to get scanned and hypo-ed until Bones is happy and that's gonna take forever. I'll replicate some breakfast for us both, bring it down to you. Burrito or oatmeal?"
He's a blur of hyper energy, punching in her food order, gathering his old familiar Captain's uniform up with a grin and dashing into the bathroom to get ready. Right before he closes the door, he pops his golden head out one last time and beams his Kirk grin at them, "Oh, and I love you both. Let's get naked again right after work, okay? I can't wait!"
Kirk, out.
Uhura and Spock smile at each other, sensually press their fingertips together once, and then get up and follow their Captain's orders.
.
.
.
.
Much later, Bones makes them have the final debriefing meeting in Med Bay, not willing to let them out of his sight yet. Sulu has the Bridge. McKoy and Chapel, Spock, Jim, Uhura, Scotty and Keenser are all assembled.
"Let me get this straight, sir," Scotty tries summing it up. It's the end of a very long day, after several very, very long weeks. He's having a bit of scotch with this meeting, and no one comments. "Ye had sex. All three of ye. Fell asleep. Then, ye jus' woke up in your own bodies, sir?"
"Seems to be what happened," Jim answers with a shrug, sitting up, swinging his feet restlessly off the edge of his biobed.
"Yep," Uhura nods. She's sitting crosslegged on another biobed, making a hospital gown look chic somehow.
"Affirmative," Spock answers, seated on a chair across from them. No one mentions the green blush on his cheeks. Uhura twinkles at him.
"How did ye do it?" Mr. Scott is taking notes on his PADD. Keenser's eye stalks glint with curiosity beside him.
"I'm not giving you the details!" Jim flushes and sputters at Scotty. He's far too sober to kiss and tell.
"Nooo! Not the sex, sir," Mr. Scott's pale, freckled skin has gone bright red and splotchy with embarrassment. Clears his throat and clarifies, "Ahem. How did ye swap their souls back, Mr. Spock?"
"Yeah, Spock, what in the Vulcan Voodoo did you do?" Bones demands. Perpetual grumpiness on display. He doesn't like medical mysteries.
"As I have told you, CMO McKoy, that expression is offensive to both Vulcans and practitioners of Voodoo," Spock reminds Bones sternly, then continues, "I am unsure exactly what occured. As we were engaged in coitus, I melded with the Captain and the Lieutenant. Then, as we fell asleep post coitus, our bodies remained in contact and the meld remained open. It is my hypothesis that as we slipped into unconsciousness, through our connection, Jim and Nyota's souls were able to find their way back. I believe, I merely acted as conduit and catalyst, Doctor. I did not DO anything. Though it was my wish that their minds return to their proper vessels, I did nothing deliberate to cause the reversal."
Jim snickers and glances slyly towards Uhura to see if she also noticed how hot it was when Spock said "coitus" just now. Her little smirk back says she did. They discreetly reach out to brush hands and Spock notices their hands touching from across the room. Raises an sharp black eyebrow at them.
"Great, Spock. You accidentally have a miracle dick, but you don't know how it works," Bones slaps his thighs, exasperated as usual, stands up and waves a tricorder over the three of them for the hundredth time, grumbling about Spock's cock.
"No one knows how this works, Doctor," Spock levels another disapproving look at McKoy. "Mating bonds between Vulcans and humans have not been studied. The only previously known human/Vulcan bondmates were my parents."
At the mention of a deceased mama, the Georgia boy in Bones goes contrite and caring all at once. His chin drops and he says, sincerely,"Well, I am very sorry Spock that she's not here to ask about it."
Spock nods, acknowledging the condolences. He knows Bone's gruff exterior is only a micron deep. Big softy underneath, as Jim would say.
Then, Spock continues his hypothesis, "As the connection between our minds opened, it became clear to me, that there was already a strong bond in place, not just between the humans and I, but between Jim and Nyota as well. Human/human bondmates have never before been recorded. Perhaps their rare connection made the Transporter malfunction possible? I believe their mental bond caused The Swap. A previously unknown human bondmate side effect."
"Lieutenant Uhura and I are Vulcan bonded?" Jim asks, clearing it up. "And that's why we swapped?"
"Affirmative, Captain," Spock answers.
"Nyota, do you remember what you were thinking about right before we swapped?" Jim turns his golden head to look at her. "Right before we beamed up from Plarton V?"
She smiles at him, "Funny enough, I do. I remember, I was thinking about how much I love you, Jim. I was mad at Ambassador Eivom for touching you with his tentacles, when I didn't even get to put my own hands on you. I was jealous and wanted to take you home, have you to myself. I also missed Spock and suddenly, I just really wanted us to go home to him, I guess."
"I was thinking that I wanted to be with you. Nyota. You handled the Plartonian incident with such grace, got me out of there smoothly, took care of everything. You looked so beautiful, too, that red flower behind your ear, remember? I looked at you, just before we beamed up, and I realized I love you. And this is crazy, and jealous, okay I know, but because Spock loves you and I wanted him to love me, too, I kind of...wanted to be you? For just a moment, I was filled with it. Longing to have you and to BE you," Jim confesses. "Creepy. I'm sorry."
Nyota laughs. Spock doesn't, but the small smile on his face is almost as good. She says, nodding, "I get it, Jim."
"Fascinating," Bones says, face looking like he bit a lemon. He's antiromantic since his divorce.
"You see Doctor, it seems, without making a conscious decision to do so, the three of us have formed a Vulcan Mating Bond. Spontaneous mating bonds are very rare but they have been known to occur. They are usually formed by sacred bonding ceremony with a Vulcan healer. Such a spontaneous bond has been known to form, but only between warrior lovers, whose love has been refined by the fire of many battles together. Technically, it should not be possible for two humans to have bonded in this way, at all."
"We're special," Jim winks at Nyota. She winks back.
"Indeed," Spock nods at them, the tiniest hint of adoration in his expression.
"But we are not the only ones, sorry to correct you First Officer. The elder Ambassador Spock said his universe's Jim and Nyota swapped, too. He also said I was about to discover the cure, but would not tell me what it was," Jim fills them in. "Perhaps he would be more forthcoming with you Scotty, if you were to contact him about The Swap in his timeline, appealing to him on a scientific basis instead of a personal one. You've met him. He'll probably talk to you about his Jim and Nyota. He will be waiting for us on New Vulcan. We will have to share what we've learned with the full Vulcan Counsel. It's gonna be fun to tell Spock's dad about this."
Spock looks at Jim funny. And for the first time, Kirk understands the expression that comes up whenever Jim mentions his relationship with the elder Spock. This is his own Spock's version of jealousy. Spock is jealous of Spock! Oh, reeeally. Jim wants to giggle but does not. He says, "In fact, Elder Spock said he'd help us himself if we hadn't figured it out on our own by the time we got to New Vulcan."
"Oh, I am certain he would have been very eager to assist you both," Spock snips, Uhura giggles and Jim wriggles with glee. Bones rolls his eyes. Scotty takes another drink.
"Well, Captain, I think the problem is solved, aye?" Scotty scratches his head and glances at Keenser for confirmation. "It seems, if this bond between you two is truly unique, the Transporter cannae repeat the malfunction, correct? Not with anyone else anyway, alrigh'? That means, it shouldna be a danger to anyone but yourselves. Keenser and I can avoid beaming the Captain and the Lieutenant at the exact same time in the future to prevent it from happening again. Don't y'reckon, wee man? Aye. Keenser and I will let all the Transporter console techs know the new protocol, to stagger Captain Kirk and Lieutenant Uhura's transports by two minutes from here on oot. In fact, make it Starfleet policy- no one bonded to a Vulcan should beam at the same time as their bondmate. If Vulcans bond with new species as they rebuild their population, this could become a more frequent side effect."
"Well, if it happens again, I guess we know the cure," Bones looks pointedly at Spock, who may be slightly proud of himself.
"Yeah and I would like another dose of Spock's medicine, if we're done here," Jim says standing. Peeling off the hospital gown despite all the onlookers, all but two of whom look away modestly, as he shrugs back into uniform, "Bones, you've had enough blood draws for a vampire. Are we good to go or what?"
Spock stands from his chair abruptly, still formal and polite but keenly aware through their bond that Jim can wait maybe 3.42 more minutes before humping someone. Jim's been near feral since getting off shift and he is very ready to go home to his quarters and finish what they started this morning. Spock strides towards the door before even being dismissed. If they leave now, they might make it behind closed doors in time.
Jim's grin is wide and feverishly bright and Bones doesn't have the heart to keep them under observation for any longer. With a long suffering sigh, he says, "Cleared for duty. And whatever."
Excited about the 'whatever', Uhura grabs her minidress and boots and takes them to the changing room. As fast as possible, she puts them on, but leaves her panties and bra in her pocket because she's quite sure Jim's going to try and get under her minidress uniform in the turbolift and she wants to surprise him with nothing underneath.
There's a little Jim Kirk swagger left over in her step as Uhura struts out of the Med Bay to meet her partners in the hall, but if Nurse Chapel notices, she just smiles and doesn't mention it.